#there's other stuff i'm missing but it's almost midnight and i have work in the morning

[justathingfromthebrainvoid]

The feral thoughts have encroached upon the brain cells I need for normal life, so I’m dumping them here in attempt to save at least some of them. Okay so first off: Limited Life, so novel in a way. Sure the life series have always been Hardcore/Hardcore-adjacent and no one lives forever, but having that set time from the beginning that only ticks down, always there, always present, is fascinating and I can’t wait to see what it does to people’s heads. It is the literal reminder that no one is getting out of this alive and These Deaths Are Inevitable. That hard line is going to turn into a wall people are going end up running into like birds and windows, because the fighting is practically useless. Even if one person manages to kill everyone else and gain all that time, it will still run out. Everyone is running on this treadmill and slowly falling further behind. There is no survival here, but they're still going to try. Fighting and kicking and screaming for every last second they can get. And we're going to see that different type of end now, where instead of falling victim to another player or the world, their time simply runs out. And there's a high chance that they're going to have to watch it run out. Next: the teams. ooooo, they grouped up in such interesting ways (and locations). Grian, Joel, and Jimmy setting up on a mansion in what could be a good defensive position, but also the danger below (and the call backs the 100 hours Hardcore, pls tell me someone else thought of that). Two of them have already died to... stupid enough reasons, because they keep egging each other on. There are no braincell's in this group, just chaos and the loyalty they have towards each other isn't anything special yet. Their bonds are of "sure might as well" and humor. It's the "I can make him worse" but none of them are smart enough to realize it. Then there's T.I.E.S, which have fairly stable relationships throughout the group, but they can't keep any kind of cow (and sometimes themselves) alive through pure bad luck. They should be smart and capable with the kinds of players they are, but when you put them all together they somehow lose all of that and run around like headless chickens. Then there's Scott and Martyn which ... could work, but only if they fully comit to being loyal, otherwise I see this half playing out as the couple subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) trying to murder each other. They will get along, but only when it's in their best interests to do so, and will totally have multiple side deals along the way. Please become truly loyal to each other tho, because I think it would make for a very interesting dynamic. The ... CLockers is really going to be "we make each other worse" with a medium chance of betrayal, mostly from Bdubs as it gets closer to the end times, but Cleo already seems to have chosen her loyalty and that could definitely push them into being a fairly strong (if not completely stable) group. Scar goes with the Storyline, which seems to be pairing him with Bdubs this time around, so it will be interesting to see if the "Mom" joke sticks around long enough to become part of that or not, and if Cleo doesn't kill them herself. Then Pearl and BigB are just going to be suspicion central, both with everyone else and each other. Pearl usually won't go after her allies, but there's always that chance (which her allies always seem somewhat aware of, loyal in part out of wariness) and BigB... he's just secretive, not necessarily by choice, but by nature so it can be confusing if his words are true or not, even with his actions. They're still mostly protected by reputation tho, and are both so dumb. Third, the area. There's a mansion. Which means totems. At least a couple people are going to go after them in spite of the risks, just because they do exist, and especially in the early days, What's an hour now to a chance at life later? But then there's the delayed consequence. What's a chance at life later to something you have now? Is your time better spent doing something else? I think, or at least I hope, there's going to be a lot more thinking about future scenarios. They should be careful, but with the illusion of the time they have and things like keep inventory on, that's going to get muddled. Until the colors start switching. And people continue to be close together. (I understand the content, but I look back at the winners, and for the most part they were in area's harder to get to most of the time.) Then there's the lunacy of both the Neighbors and Clockers setting up right where people first respawn ... with all of their gear... and treating it like a show... how fortunate for those first few yellows and reds that are killed. and yellows can/are encouraged to kill this time around. which brings the amount of people able to kill up more. This world is made to see you dead. In a way the others built towards, but this one... it's very final. You will die. You can't outrun the clock. And Finally, fourth, the "curses" and who i think would make for an interesting winner. "Curse 1"- Boogeyman: going strong, attached to Scott first (slight sarcasm via the man himself commenting on it being revenge for his refusal to kill in last life, which i will be taking as fact) before moving the Bdubs who showed no hesitation, and then Martyn. "Curse 2"- Jimmy the Death Omen: pls return, yes it will make people think there is actually possibly a script, but it's so funny. And while Jimmy never dies first, his perma-death always involves the person who did in some capacity, so I shall be keeping my eye out for Skizz and Timmy interactions. "Curse 3"- Enchanter: there is defiantly one in play, but there is a chance they're made this season, which might free Scar from it. "Curse 4"- Grian's Friends: .... again I just want to see if this one plays out again, cause if so I will laugh. "Curse 5"- Scar's pets/mixed in with dog army this season: dog army may have gotten broken thanks to Pearl last season, but it could have been a one time thing. We shall see if someone dies from killing one of Scar and Bdub's dogs. "Curse 6"- Scar's 1st life: broken this season due to fall damage! interested to see if grian is the first to kill scar tho. "Curse 7"- Joel's Madness: most likely will happen, just a matter of when. "Curse 8"- Lone Tango death: up in the air. "Curse 9"- Widow Scott: possibly broken due to double life, possibly not, unsure if Martyn counts as the partner yet. "Curses 10, 11, and 12"- Bdubs, Cleo Betrayed, and Cleo's Death: grouped together, because they are grouped together. Could work out in a very interesting way. And "the Victor's Wish/Curse": Grian dies betrayed and the Boogeyman is created with lives uncertain, but able to be traded. Scott dies and the players are bound to another, shared lives, shared health, for better or worse. Pearl dies... and the Boogeyman returns with a countdown people can't escape only extend by taking others out. Hopeful winners: Cleo or Bdubs. Both have things with time going on a the moment and have a decent group. Both would fit with my odd brain narrative. Runners up: Scar, BigB, maybe Martyn. Though these could change and aren't that important, I will be rooting for Cleo as much as possible.

[fallingforyouforeverr]

𝐍𝐚𝐩 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐏𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢

summary: Oscar misses a team meeting, but when Lando goes to look for him, he gets a surprise

author's note: i finally published my first f1 fic!! sorry it's so short, but I have a bunch of other drafts I'm working on rn that will hopefully be finished soon. also, i literally wrote this at midnight inspired by a picture i saw on Pinterest so it's kinda bad but oh well

warnings: none, just fluff (600+ words)

• f1 masterlist • youtubers masterlist •

It was no secret to anyone that Oscar was a clingy boyfriend. The other drivers loved to compare him to a koala because of how often he would wrap himself around you, pulling you close to him and resting his head on top of yours. Although he often annoyed others by getting distracted by you, they couldn't even blame you for it and even Zak had to admit his clingyness was actually quite cute.

Today however, it was annoying – especially to Lando who had spent the last 20 minutes searching for his teammate after he failed to show up to the team meeting. He had already checked everywhere he could think of and was beginning to contemplate calling the police and reporting the younger boy missing when he heard a faint snore coming from a small room on his left. Slowly pushing open the door, Lando was met with the sight of you and Oscar sleeping on a sofa, your limbs so tightly wrapped around each other that it was hard to tell where you ended and he began.

As quietly as he could, Lando took out his phone and snapped a picture of the two of you and posted it on his story. He slid it back in his pocket, wondering how to wake his teammate without disturbing you, when Oscar stirred, stretching out his long limbs and opening his bleary eyes.

"Wakey wakey sleepyhead," Lando teased, causing the other boy to groan.

Oscar wriggled his arm out from under you, bringing it up to rub his eyes. "What time is it?" He asked.

"It's almost 2"

"WHAT!" Oscar shot up, accidentally waking you in the process, "shit I missed the meeting didn't I."

"Oz? What's wrong?" You spoke as you sat up, voice still slightly scratchy from sleep.

He froze, looking at you with wide eyes and a guilty expression. "Um... I forgot to set an alarm and I kinda slept through the team meeting."

"Oscar!" You scolded with a laugh, " Zak is gonna be so mad!"

Lando chuckled, making you jump as you hadn't realised he was there. "Oh yeah, he's pissed by the way."

Dragging a hand down his face with a sigh, your boyfriend reluctantly pulled himself out of your arms and stood up. "I'm gonna go catch up with the team," he announced, raking a hand through his hair as he rushed out to the garage.

"Oh I can't wait to see what Zak is gonna say about this" Lando began, a grinning cheekily at you. Narrowing your eyes at him in response, he held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, alright, I'm going!"

Smiling wryly at his childish antics, you began packing away your stuff, knowing that Oscar would be finished soon as he tended to become antisocial when tired. Just as you finished putting the last item in your bag, the Australian appeared in the doorway, affection laced with exhaustion in his eyes as he observed you. When you had finished, he held out his hand for you to grab as he led you through the McLaren hospitality. You had almost reached the exit when a familiar voice rang out behind you.

"Ah, Oscar, there you are!"

You both turned around guiltily to come face to face with a less than pleased Zak Brown. "We missed you in the meeting earlier, mate. I hope that nap was worth it."

"Oh yeah sorry I was um-" Oscar paused, a frown overtaking his features as he realised what the older man had said. "Wait how do you know about that?"

Zak chuckled, calling over his shoulder as he walked away, "Let's just say a certain someone isn't very good at keeping secrets."

"Lando, that absolute muppet!"

[lilacmingi]

RUNAWAY

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works

Pairing: Pirate!Hongjoong x pirate!fem reader

Word count: 8,270

Note: This is an imagine from April 2022 from my Wattpad. The pirate Ateez imagines are definitely some of my most popular ones and I’m SO excited to share them here! I wanted to do something to celebrate 200 followers but I don’t have any new stuff ready so I’ve decided to post my Ateez pirate imagines! 🏴‍☠️ Pirate AUs for the other members are linked at the end of the imagine!

The moon hung high in the clear night sky, the bright beam reflecting onto the peaceful waters below. The view of the dark horizon was tranquil and the complete opposite of the pandemonium that was taking place just a few feet behind you.

Singing, hollers of celebration, and the clanking of stein glasses became mere background noise as you gazed at the midnight sky above. The myriad of stars dotting the heavens were almost like fireflies in the forest, giving some light to the otherwise dark sky.

Hongjoong's crew was celebrating another successful day of pillaging—it was exhausting. You'd become rather numb to these so-called celebrations. It's just a bunch of men acting like drunken fools to you.

The crew belted out sea shanties in their intoxicated states, the sour notes coming out slurred and garbled. You cringed. You didn't know how much more of this you could take.

The sound of heavy boots stumbling towards you caught your attention. An arm was slung haphazardly over your shoulder, the force making you jerk forward a bit.

"Y/n." Hongjoong slurred slightly, his breath smelling of rum. "What are you doing all the way over here?"

"Watching the moon." You answered.

"Come join us. You're missing out."

"No thank you."

He frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I just don't care for celebrations."

"But you've always enjoyed our celebrations."

"Yeah, but it's becoming a bit... how do I put this? Lackluster."

Hongjoong scoffed. "Lackluster?"

"Yeah. I just don't enjoy it much anymore."

"Let me change your mind."

You glanced over to see Hongjoong's hand extended towards you, his many gold rings glimmering under the lit torches.

You started to deny him, but stopped, pressing your lips together in thought.

"C'mon." That all too familiar charming smirk of his spread across his soft-looking lips. "You wouldn't refuse a dance with me, would you?"

"I might." You teased, a playful grin threatening to break out onto your features.

He made a face at you in return.

"Alright." You caved, clasping his extended hand. "I'll dance with you."

"I knew you couldn't resist." He simpered, leading you towards the middle of the main deck.

The drunken singing of the crew was much louder now that you were right in the middle of it. Hongjoong's cheeks were stained pink from the alcohol, no doubt, as he grinned brightly, taking your other hand. The two of you began spinning and skipping to the stomp of the crew's boots against the wooden boards of the ship. Neither of you ever really learned how to properly dance, but when you're a pirate, that doesn't matter much.

As you bounded in circles, you found yourself enjoying it more and more. The two of you danced in no particular rhythm, stomping your feet and bouncing around like fools. Your hands stayed clasped together as you swung them around, your joint laughter filling the air.

Once the chanting and off-key singing of the crew died down, you and Hongjoong ceased your dancing.

"See? That was fun, wasn't it?" He grinned.

"It was." You agreed, fixing the errant strands of his scruffy mullet.

"You always enjoy dancing with me."

"I do." You admitted.

"C'mon. Have something to drink." He pulled you towards one of the barrels set up and took it upon himself to fill up a stein.

He handed it to you with a smile. You reluctantly took it, taking a sip of the dark liquid.

"Next time we dock, I'll try and get some nice wine. How about that?" Hongjoong suggested.

"That would be wonderful. I'm starting to tire of rum."

"Hey, if you won't drink it, I will." Hongjoong reached out to grab the glass from you.

"Wait." You pulled it away. "Are you sure you should have any more?"

"Of course! You can never have enough alcohol."

"How many of these have you had?" You questioned, referring to the large stein in your hand.

"Three."

You pressed your lips together, hesitant to hand over the drink. Then again, Hongjoong is as stubborn as a mule. If you don't give it to him, he'll just make himself another glass.

"Very well, then." You gave in, handing over the glass.

"Thanks, lovely." He winked, taking the beverage from you.

You watched as he sauntered off, joining his crew to clink steins with them. One of the crew members began singing yet another drunken shanty, causing everyone to start dancing again. Hongjoong held his wooden stein up in the air, alcohol sloshing onto the deck as his crew cheered him on.

"Say my name!" He shouted.

"Captain Hongjoong! Captain Hongjoong! Captain Hongjoong!" They chanted, fueling his ego.

You could tell he loved that. He loved being the captain. It was his dream, after all.

A yawn spilled from your lips, catching you off guard. You hadn't realized how tired you were.

You stepped away from the railing of the ship and began to head towards the captain's cabin to turn in for the night.

You and Hongjoong shared a room, exactly the way he wanted. You were the only female on the ship and Hongjoong's dearest friend, as well as his right hand woman, so he wanted to make sure you stayed close, which is why you got the best room on the ship.

On the way to your shared room, you noticed someone sitting on the steps leading to the quarterdeck. He was hunched over, a head of soft, brown hair resting on the top of his knees. You were curious as to who was crouched on the steps alone. You had been on the ship for years and were familiar with every crew member, but you weren't sure who this was.

"Excuse me. Are you okay?" You asked, approaching the male.

He lifted his head, large, brown eyes looking up at you.

"Oh, Minho." You smiled, warmly. "I thought you'd be over there with everyone else." You spoke, gesturing to the celebration taking place a few feet behind you.

"No." He shook his head. "I'm not one for celebrations. They've become too hectic for me. To be honest, I thought you'd be over there. You're always with Hongjoong."

"Yeah, well, I've had my fill of celebrations for the night." You told him. "Hongjoong is on his own tonight. I've decided to turn in for the night."

"Well, I don't want to keep you out here. Sleep tight." He smiled.

"Thanks, Minho."

You stepped into your room, closing the door behind you.

Hongjoong's bed was unmade, as usual and his desk was an absolute mess. He was never one to clean up after himself. Apparently, he "has other things to worry about." You let out a sigh as you walked over to his desk where papers and books were scattered over the surface. The entire tabletop was in disarray. As much as you wanted to clean it up, you knew everything was more than likely left in place for a reason. So, you did the least you could possibly do, which was throw away any wadded pieces of paper as well as collect all of the pens and pencils scattered across the desk, placing them all into a cup.

You told yourself you'd stop and go to bed after that, but you didn't. You ended up stacking all the papers strewn across Hongjoong's desk, putting them in one, neat pile. Upon doing so, you discovered a large map spread across the tabletop. Your head tilted to the side when you noticed a red dot on the map. Normally, a red dot indicated that the town was going to be raided for supplies. You tried to read the name of the town, unable

to see well in the dimply lit room. Your eyes squinted as you leaned towards the map, until you heard a commotion just outside the cabin, which caused you to scurry away from Hongjoong's desk.

You made yourself busy, pulling back the covers on your bed, only to find that it was just a false alarm. The noises you heard were merely drunken crew mates making a ruckus.

You glanced back towards Hongjoong's desk sitting on the other side of the room, tempted to go back and look at the map, but you decided against it, choosing to get ready for bed.

You turned the knob on the oil lamp, dimming the light so you'd be able to rest. You wanted Hongjoong to be able to see when he finally came to bed, so you didn't put it out all the way.

As you laid in bed, your mind began to drift towards the map, your curiosity getting the best of you. Your head lifted from the pillow, your eyes staring across the room at Hongjoong's desk. Then, without thinking you flung the covers off of you and grabbed the oil lamp, moving across the room to the map spread on the table.

The dim glow of the low-burning flame illuminated the chart enough to where you could finally read the name of the town. You blinked a few times, getting a second look at it, wondering if you misread it.

"That can't be right." You murmured.

Worried about getting caught, you scurried back to bed and attempted to go to sleep. Instead of worrying about what you saw on that map, you just chose to confront Hongjoong about it the next day.

The sea breeze blew through your hair as you stood by Hongjoong's side on the forecastle deck.

"There's a town close by that we're going to pillage." He informed you as he steered the gigantic vessel.

"Was that the town you had marked in red on your map?"

"How did you know that?"

"I saw it on your desk last night. That town isn't a bad town. There's good people living there. Why would you plan to pillage it?"

"We need supplies. Plus, they're nearby."

"That's your reasoning?" You questioned.

"Yeah."

"Hongjoong, that town is well known for giving things to those in need. You should find another town to get supplies from."

"If that's true, then looting the town should be easy." He shrugged.

You were appalled, unable to believe what he just said.

"It makes more sense to go there because it's closer. We don't have enough supplies to last long enough to make it to the next town."

"Then ration our provisions."

"I can't do that."

"Yes you can. I'm not asking for much. Ration until we reach the next town."

You could tell Hongjoong was getting agitated, but you wouldn't have him pillage a town that didn't deserve it.

"What I say goes, and I say we're raiding that town."

"I want you to wait and raid another town."

"Well, you're not the captain, are you, Y/n?"

"No, but I am your friend." You responded, harshly, stepping forward to grab the wheel.

"Hey!" Hongjoong shouted. "What are you doing?"

"Steering us away from that town."

You began to fight with him, the wheel being pulled back and forth like a tug of war.

"Why don't you listen to me?" You asked.

"I'm the captain!" He snapped. "Not you!"

Hongjoong shoved you away, causing you to stumble back and fall onto the deck. A hiss left you as pain shot up your hip and elbow. You thought maybe your friend would feel some sort of remorse, but he only stared down at you, looking only mildly surprised at his actions.

You clenched your jaw and pushed yourself up off the deck, knowing you lost this fight.

"Forget it. I'm tired of this."

You stormed off the forecastle deck, getting as far away from Hongjoong as you could. You were absolutely fuming, wanting to unleash the burning anger inside. Hongjoong only raids towns that steal from the poor. Never has he even considered looting a town so generous—until now, apparently.

The way he simply brushed off the fact that he was about to pillage a small town that didn't deserve it made your blood boil. Truthfully, you don't think he understands the weight of his actions. He'll leave that town with hardly anything. They won't have anything left.

The sound of boots hitting the deck pulled your from your thoughts. Turning your head, you spotted Minho approaching you.

"You alright?" He asked.

Your lips pressed together as you briefly contemplated lying to him.

"No."

"I heard a commotion on the forecastle deck and wanted to check on you. I assume you and Captain got in a fight?"

"It's the first fight we've ever had. He wants to raid a town because it's nearby. I tired to talk him out of it because the town provides for others."

"That doesn't seem right." Minho responded.

"It's not. I tried to make him change his mind, but he just kept saying we don't have enough supplies and we have to dock there. I suggested rationing what we have and he completely shot down the idea."

Minho frowned in distaste. "Why is it so difficult to ration?"

"I don't know." You sighed, shaking your head. "He's never acted like this before. I don't know what's happening to him."

"I'm sorry he's being such a jerk."

"Me too. Sorry for dumping all of this onto you. I should have just lied and said I was okay."

"No." Minho shook his head. "I'm glad you were honest. It's not good to bottle things up. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Okay?"

You nodded, giving him a weak smile.

The day went on and you tried your hardest to keep your distance, avoiding Hongjoong by any and all means. Much your dismay, Hongjoong had announced to the crew his plans of looting the poor town. You were set to dock in just a couple days.

When night settled over the sky, you began making your way towards the captain's quarters, only to stop in your tracks. Did you even want to sleep in the same room as Hongjoong?

You turned on your heel, redirecting your route to the crew's sleeping quarters, heading directly to one room in particular.

Your knuckles knocked lightly on the bedroom door, waiting for an answer. It creaked open just a few seconds later.

"Oh, Y/n. What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Minho asked.

"Yeah. This might sound like a weird question, but is it alright if I stay with you tonight?"

His large eyes widened in surprise.

"Hongjoong and I aren't on good terms at the moment, which you already know, and I don't really want to share a room with him now."

"I understand." He nodded, stepping aside. "Come on in."

You volunteered to sleep on the floor, but Minho wouldn't allow it, offering you his bed. So, that's where you slept.

The ocean was rather choppy today, much like the situation you were currently in. The white-capped waves dominated the majority of the waters' surface, the ship lurching with each forceful push of the sea below, sending a spray of salt water up the side of the vessel.

"Alright men, all hands on deck!" Hongjoong instructed. "There's a storm coming in from the north."

"Yes, Captain." The crew responded.

You wanted to ask Hongjoong if he needed your help with anything, but the two of you were not on speaking terms at the moment, so you held your tongue.

"Man the sails!" Hongjoong shouted more commands, sternly.

He's absolutely deserving of being captain. Despite his small stature, he carried a very powerful and commanding presence, his aura almost threatening at times. However, at the end of the day, he was still the sweet Hongjoong you grew up with—well, up until recently. You said you would follow him to the ends of the earth. He was your best friend, after all. Now, you're not sure who he is.

Years ago, when the two of you had just recently turned 18, Hongjoong had this grand idea to escape.

"We're gonna get out of here." He told you.

"And go where?" You inquired.

"Anywhere. Everywhere." He answered, his eyes twinkling. "Sail the seas."

"You want to be a pirate?" You questioned.

"Yes! It would be so much fun. No rules, no nothing." He turned to you with a smile. "Will you join me?"

The excited gleam in his eye let you know how serious he was about this unattainable dream. Despite that, the idea of sailing the seas and living a rule-free pirate life thrilled you.

"Yes."

Look where that got you.

A loud boom of thunder rumbled in the ominous sky above, dark, menacing clouds swirled over the ocean. You stepped away from the railing, watching as the crew scurried across the deck, preparing for the storm brewing in the atmosphere.

Hongjoong was busying himself by barking orders at crew mates, rushing them along. He was unusually snappy today, no doubt because of your little fight yesterday.

"What are you doing?" He shouted, angrily. "Furl the mainsail! The storm is approaching!"

Truthfully, you were surprised he hadn't said anything to you about not sleeping in your own bed last night. Then again, maybe he didn't care.

A raindrop hit the top of your head, catching your attention. It didn't take long for the stray drops to turn into a torrential downpour. The rain came down in sheets, pounding on the deck, making puddles almost instantly.

You noticed Minho struggling with one of the masts, hurrying over to assist him.

"Thanks." He breathed.

A gust of wind blew by, whipping your hair in every direction.

"We should get inside!" Minho yelled over the howling winds.

You nodded in agreement as his hand found yours, leading you towards the crew's sleeping quarters to get out of the harsh winds and piercing rain.

Little did you know, Hongjoong was watching, his sharp eyes trained on yours and Minho's intertwined hands.

The ship made it out of the storm unscathed and went on its way to the small, unsuspecting town. Part of you had hoped the storm would somehow get the ship off-route and Hongjoong would be forced to ration supplies and hold off on the raid until you made it to the next town.

The pillaging went on as planned. Like all raids, the looting took place at night. Hongjoong always said it was better to do these things under the cover of darkness.

You stayed on the ship, of course, unable to join in on the raiding. Your conscience wouldn't let you. To your surprise, Minho stayed behind too. Like you, he couldn't bear to be a part of the merciless thievery that was taking place.

It didn't take long for the two of you to hear multiple pairs of booted feet thudding hurriedly against the main deck, followed by the sounds of heavy objects being set down. Your heart sank, knowing the raid was over and the town was left without many of their supplies. For the first time since stepping foot on this ship, you felt sick.

It didn't take long for the music and rhythmic stomping of feet to begin, letting you know the celebrations had already kicked off.

Minho's top lip curled in distaste as he stared in the direction of the main deck.

"I can't sit here and let them celebrate this heinous act." You muttered, pushing yourself to your feet.

You stormed up onto the main deck where Hongjoong was standing up on a cluster of crates, barrels, and burlap sacks dancing and celebrating.

"So you ended up raiding that town?" You inquired with crossed arms.

"Of course I did." He responded before turning to the crew. "And it was a raging success!"

The crew cheered with him, which only fueled your anger.

"I wouldn't call it a raging success if you're stealing from people who do good."

"It's not like we killed anyone." He rolled his eyes.

"No, but you left that town to suffer. The attack was unprovoked."

"Don't get your trousers in a wad, Y/n. We're pirates. We pillage and plunder, it's what we do." Hongjoong responded casually.

Your fists unconsciously clenched as you tried your hardest to bite back rage. Instead of opening your mouth and allowing your scathing words to escape, you whirled around and returned to Minho's room.

The door slammed shut behind you as the brown-haired male lifted his gaze, waiting for you to speak.

"Minho, can you keep a secret?"

In the dead of night while everyone was asleep and/or passed out from alcohol consumption, you snuck out onto the main deck with a small bag of your belongings, heading for the rowboat. You planned to escape the godforsaken ship that once felt like home. Minho, who knew about your plan of action, promised not to breathe a word of your whereabouts. He even offered to assist you.

Said pirate followed you outside and helped lower you into the water once you were inside the boat.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" He questioned.

"I'm sure. Being captain has gotten to Hongjoong's head and after that little stunt he pulled earlier tonight, I can no longer stand by his side."

Minho nodded, somberly. "I understand. Good luck."

"Thank you."

The boat was lowered the rest of the way into the water and you began making your way towards the town. Equipped with just the necessities, you started your journey, using just a compass and a messy, hand-drawn copy of Hongjoong's map.

You didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse as you rowed further from the ship, watching as it got smaller and smaller. You didn't really care if Hongjoong knew you left. He made it very clear that he was the captain and what he says goes. It was painfully evident that he didn't need you anymore; if anything, you were doing him a favor. On the off chance that he did freak out in wake of your disappearance, you'd never know, nor would you care.

"Serves him right." You muttered.

To your surprise, it only took you the entirety of the night to arrive at the marauded town. Your arms were throbbing and you were in need of sleep, but were happy to have arrived at your destination. You used an old rope to tie your row boat to the dock before stepping out onto the landing.

The first thing you noticed about your surroundings was the stacks of crates and barrels that had been emptied and toppled over. The remnants of last night's pillaging was obvious and heartbreaking. You slowly made your way off the dock and into the town where you were met with more wreckage—it was horrible. The more you saw, the angrier you became, wanting nothing more than to curse Hongjoong up one side and down the other. Being on a pirate ship for so long, you managed to learn some insults you didn't even know existed and you wanted to use every single one on Kim Hongjoong.

People were trying to clean up the aftermath of the pillaging from the previous night, doing their best to put the town back together. You spotted a nearby hostel, a middle-aged woman crouched on the ground outside, attempting to tidy up the small flowerbed that looked as if it had been trampled on.

"Excuse me." You called out, gently.

The woman lifted her head. "Oh, hello. Can I help you?"

"I was wondering if you had any vacancies."

"As a matter of fact, I do." She smiled, softly, dusting her hands off on her apron. "You look like you need a good night's rest. Have you traveled far?"

"All night." You responded.

"I'll get you checked in right away. Follow me." You trailed behind the woman as she entered the house, going behind the front counter. "Sorry. We're a little short-staffed. There was a pirate pillaging last night. All but one of my employees quit—and he can't quit because he's my son. That sort of thing just doesn't happen here, so it really scared the workers."

"If you need help, I'd be happy to lend a hand." You told her.

"No, dear. You need rest."

"It's fine." You brushed it off. "It's daytime anyway. It's best I stay up."

"Are you sure, dear?"

"Of course. It seems like you could really use the extra help."

"If you insist. I won't turn down someone who's so willing to lend a helping hand. I'll show you to your room and bring you some working clothes."

"Great." You smiled, following her to the room you'd be staying in.

It was small, cozy, and equipped with only the necessities.

"So, what's your name?" She asked as you looked around the room.

"Y/n." You answered.

"That's a lovely name. You can call me Mrs. Park."

"Well, Mrs. Park, I'd like to stay here for a few days. How much do I owe you for it?" You asked, turning to her.

"Free of charge."

"I can pay for it. It's fine." You insisted.

Mrs. Park held her hand up to stop you.

"You're doing me a huge favor by offering to help me out. It's the least I can do."

"Well, thank you. I appreciate it."

"Like I said, it's the least I can do. We have running water. If you'd like, you can go wash up and I'll bring you a change of clothes and an apron. Then, we can get started on the work."

You didn't bring a lot with you, so getting settled wasn't a problem at all. You did take advantage of the running water Mrs. Park told you about. Being at sea, you haven't had access to clean water, therefore you've not been able to properly bathe. The closest you got to a bath was a quick dip in the ocean with a bar of soap. Shampoo, conditioner, and soap was provided for you, which you were immensely thankful for.

You felt rejuvenated after your bath. In fact, you felt like a whole new new person.

After stepping out of the bathroom, you spotted a neatly folded stack of clothes on your bed.

Normally, you'd wear a large, cream-colored shirt with ruffled sleeves tucked into a pair or trousers and black boots. The clothes Mrs. Park had provided you with contrasted greatly with your usual attire. In your hands was a long, navy-colored dress that laced up in the back, the garment made with thick material, as well as an apron to wear over the dress. As a pirate, you never wore dresses. They weren't really your thing, anyway. However, you were trying to start a new life, and that new life required you to wear the dress in your hands, so you put it on.

You were surprised by your reflection, hardly recognizing the person staring back. Your hair, which had started to dry, was fluffy and bouncy. The outfit was different, but you didn't hate it. You would have preferred pants, but you were willing to compromise since you had a place to stay.

Not wanting to waste too much time, you headed to the lobby.

"Mrs. Park, I'm ready to get started."

"Y/n?" Hongjoong called out.

He hadn't seen you all day. He was still a bit upset with you for the way you reacted the other day as well as last night, but when he didn't see you, not even with Minho, he began to worry.

"Y/n!" He called out again much louder, hurrying across the deck. "Has anyone seen Y/n?"

No answer.

In a panic, he peered over the side of the ship, noticing the row boat was gone. His head snapped towards the sails where Minho was standing.

"Minho!" He shouted, stomping over to the man. "Where is she?"

Minho didn't even spare a glance at Hongjoong and continued straightening out the rigging.

"I'm sure she's around here somewhere." He responded, nonchalantly.

"Don't make me ask again."

"I don't know where she is."

"Stop lying. I know the two of you have been spending time together. Where is she?"

"Away from you." Minho responded, his tone becoming snappy.

Hongjoong reached for his cutlass, pulling it from its sheath and pointing it at Minho's neck.

"Tell me where Y/n is." He demanded.

"You're the captain, you're smart. Why don't you figure it out?"

Hongjoong's jaw clenched, his patience being pushed to its limits. Then, suddenly, it clicked. You had to have gone to that town.

Hongjoong put his cutlass back in its sheath and turned around on his heel.

"We're changing course!" He announced. "I know where Y/n is. We're going to get her."

Working at the small hostel was wonderful. You found that you enjoyed it very much. Unlike life on Hongjoong's ship where you did the same thing every day, you did something different each day here. It was a nice change.

The day you arrived at the town, you were introduced to Mrs. Park's son, Seonghwa. He normally took care of washing the sheets and putting the beds back together. Sometimes he helped out in the kitchen and cooked meals for the residents. Now that all of the staff members had quit, he had to take up most of the slack. The two of you got along well and it made working at the hostel a lot more fun.

Mrs. Park had sent you and Seonghwa to the market to get some things she had run out of. She rushed the two of you out the door, going on about how dire it was that she get these items. She wanted to make a cake for you, which she had mentioned was her specialty, so getting the ingredients was very important.

"Alright. Eggs, flour, and sugar." You read off the list. "We got the sugar. Just a couple more things and we're good to go."

You picked up a small sack of flour and put it into the basket Seonghwa had tossed over his arm. That was the system. You grabbed the groceries, Seonghwa carried them.

"My mom really appreciates your help. When those pirates came though and everyone quit, she was really scared. She didn't know how she'd be able to take care of the place."

"Seems like I showed up at the right time."

"You did." He nodded with a smile. "I know it's only been a week, but things are starting to get back to normal, I think. Everyone seems to have recovered. I just hope it doesn't happen again."

"Me too." You responded, picking up a carton of eggs.

Unbeknownst go you, Hongjoong's ship had just docked at the town and the captain was making his way down the wharf.

You had just paid the cashier for the groceries and were headed back to the hostel when suddenly your wrist was grabbed and you were pulled away from Seonghwa into a small alley between two buildings. You jerked in the person's grip, trying to break free until you saw their face.

"What are you doing here?" You spat.

"What are you doing here?" Hongjoong turned the question back to you. "And what in the seven seas are you wearing?"

"I'm helping, and if you must know, this is the uniform I was given."

"Uniform?" He repeated, his face twisted in distaste.

"I'm working at a small hostel. Did you know all of the staff quit after your little rampage?"

You could see Hongjoong's eyes soften for a moment before he quickly covered it up.

"Why did you even come looking for me?" You questioned, harshly.

"You're part of my crew."

"Is that all I am to you? Just a crew member?"

"No."

"Well, that's what it feels like. Now if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be."

You started to walk away when Hongjoong grabbed you again.

"No you don't. You're coming back with me."

"I'm staying here."

"You don't have a choice, Y/n."

You jerked your arm away. "I do, and I choose to stay. You obviously don't need me back on that ship. You wasted your time coming back for me."

"You're wrong. I need you."

"You don't. You're the captain, remember? You make the decisions yourself. You don't need me to tell you what to do because in the end, you'll do what you want."

He opened his mouth to speak, but you continued.

"This whole captain thing has gone to your head. What happened to the Hongjoong I used to know?"

"I'm still the same Hongjoong."

"No, you're not. You've changed."

That's the last thing you said before walking back to Seonghwa, who was standing in the middle of the street with his mouth hanging open, his face as white as a sheet.

"Let's go." You grabbed his arm, pulling him in the direction of the hostel.

"D-do you know him?" Seonghwa asked, his head turned to stare at Hongjoong.

"I used to."

"He's the captain of the pirate crew that looted our town."

"I know."

"What?"

"It's a long story."

"If you're with him, then—"

"I'm not with him. I ran away. He wanted to pillage your town and I told him not to because this town is so selfless, but he didn't listen, so I left the ship."

"You're a pirate?" Seonghwa gaped.

"Yes."

"Is he going to take you back?"

"He's trying to."

Once you got back to the hostel, you gave Mrs. Park the items she asked for and hurried to your room, Seonghwa following behind.

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

"I don't know." You muttered, pacing back and forth. "I didn't know he'd come looking for me."

Just then, a loud thump came from the somewhere downstairs. You and Seonghwa shared a wide-eyed look before hurrying to the door. You peered over the shallow staircase and spotted Hongjoong at the front desk.

"You wouldn't happen to how a Y/n, would you?" He asked.

"No." Mrs. Park lied.

"I know she's here." Hongjoong spat.c"Where's her room?"

"Crap." You whispered, retreating to your bedroom where you frantically began packing your things.

"What are you doing? Where are you going?" Seonghwa questioned.

"I don't know. Away from here."

The dress you wore was restricting you immensely, making it hard for you to move around.

"I hate this thing." You grumbled.

"I have an idea. I'll go distract him while you change and make your escape."

You gave him a nod and gathered the clothes you arrived in, which had so generously been washed by Mrs. Park.

While Seonghwa was downstairs stalling, you quickly stripped off the confining dress, changing into your comfortable pirate attire. Not wanting to leave things in a mess, you hastily folded the dress and apron, lying it on the bed before you snuck out the window.

"You!" Hongjoong pointed when Seonghwa appeared downstairs. "Tell me where Y/n is."

"She's not here."

"Yes she is. Where are you hiding her?" He pressed.

"I already told you. She's not here."

Hongjoong's lip curled into a snarl as realization struck him. He then rushed out the front entrance, turning the corner to catch you just as your feet landed on the ground.

You were relived, feeling like you had successfully made your escape.

"You didn't think you could get away from me that easily, did you?"

Your heart sank.

Hongjoong grabbed you, pulling you out into the streets, yanking you towards the docks. You jerked and writhed in his grip, shouting at him to let go, but he wouldn't listen. Your heels dug into the dirt as you tried to stop Hongjoong, but it didn't work. His grip on you was too strong.

Seonghwa, who rushed out after Hongjoong, spotted him as he pulled you through town.

No one dared to help. It was obvious the townspeople recognized Hongjoong from the pillaging a week prior. They wouldn't dare try and stand up to him.

"I hate you!" You spat.

"I could care less about your feelings towards me."

"Clearly you do. If you didn't care that I was mad at you, you wouldn't have come looking for me."

His hand tightened around your wrist, which let you know you struck a nerve.

"Let go of me." You hissed.

"Not until we're back on the ship."

"Hey!" Someone cut in.

Hongjoong stopped in his tracks, turning to see who had shouted at him. You turned as well, gasping when you saw Seonghwa standing on the dock a few feet behind you.

"Let her go."

"And who do you think you are?"

"Her friend."

Hongjoong scoffed. "You've only known her for a week. You're not her friend. I'm her friend."

"Really? It doesn't look like it."

Hongjoong used his free hand to pull out his pistol, pointing it at Seonghwa.

"Stay out of our business before I put a bullet in your head."

"Hongjoong!" You snapped, pushing the barrel down. "What is wrong with you?"

He gave you a sharp glare before you turned to the man attempting to save you.

"Seonghwa." You placed your free hand on his shoulder. "I need to go."

"What?" He asked in disbelief. "You're going back?"

"I have to. There's things that need to be dealt with."

Seonghwa gave Hongjoong a skeptical look.

"It's not what you want, though."

"It's what needs to be done. Tell your mom I'm glad I could help her out, but that I needed to go. Good luck with your business."

Seonghwa gave you a sad look, but nodded in understanding.

As soon as Hongjoong had you back on the ship, he let you go, beginning to bark orders at the crew.

"Let's get out of here!"

While he was distracted, you hurried off, searching for Minho. You hadn't seen him on the deck, so you thought he was in his room.

You burst into his bedroom, but he was nowhere to be seen. After searching different areas of the ship, you found him in the galley, cleaning the tables.

"Minho!"

"Y/n. You're back." He responded, seeming surprised.

"Not by choice."

"Well, just because you're being forced to stay on this ship, doesn't mean you should be forced to be around Hongjoong. You can stay in my room if you want to."

"Thank you. What are you doing down here?"

"Hongjoong put me on kitchen duty when I refused to tell him where you were."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. I don't mind cleaning up down here."

"Well, I appreciate that you kept my secret and tried to protect me." You smiled, giving him a light hug.

Just then, Hongjoong burst into the galley.

"I look away for two seconds and you've run off again. Now I find you hanging all over him."

He stormed over, grabbing your upper arm.

"Come here. We have some talking to do."

"Let go of her." Minho snapped. "You've forced her back on this ship. That should be enough."

"I'll deal with you later." Hongjoong pointed, pulling you out of the room.

You shouted at him as he dragged you all the way to the captain's quarters, calling him every name you could think of. Even when he released your arm, you continued ranting and raving.

"I can't even explain how angry I am right now!"

The door was then locked shut, causing you to spin around, abruptly. Hongjoong stood a few feet from you, his eyes dark as they stared into yours.

"Don't look at me like that. You have no right to be acting this w—"

You were cut off as Hongjoong pressed you against the door, his arms trapping you.

"I have every right to be acting this way. You're mine, remember?"

"I'm no one's."

You had barely gotten the sentence out of your mouth when his lips pressed harshly against yours. You had no time to react and were left frozen in place, your mind scrambling to make sense of what was going on.

Your eyes unconsciously fluttered closed as you allowed yourself to give in momentarily.

Hongjoong kissed you hungrily, letting out small growls that vibrated against your lips. You wanted so desperately to push him away. Your mind screamed at you to do so, but you couldn't. He had your mind in such a fog you couldn't seem to care what was wrong and what was right. Hongjoong's head tilted to the side, allowing his mouth to fit more closely with yours.

This is not right. This is not right.

Your senses finally kicked in and you pulled away, your hand making contact with Hongjoong's cheek as a resounding smack filled the air.

"What's wrong with you?"

Hongjoong placed a hand on his stinging cheek as he took a step back, a mildly shocked expression on his face.

"You got mad that I ran away, chased me down, acted like the biggest jerk ever, then all of a sudden you just kiss me?" You questioned. "What did you think that was gonna do?"

"I..." He trailed off.

"If you thought I would confess my love to you and forgive you, you're wrong. I don't love you. I love the old Hongjoong. The one who isn't this." You said, gesturing to him. "Just so you know, I'm sleeping in Minho's room tonight. If you need me, that's where I'll be." You told him, turning to leave.

"Wait." Hongjoong took hold of your wrist, this time much more softly, almost pleading. "Don't go."

You gave him an expectant look, waiting to see what he had to say. Though he was being a pompous jerk, he was still your friend and you were willing to hear him out.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me lately. You're right. This whole captain thing has gotten to my head. Being a pirate and being in charge of everyone made me feel like I could take whatever I wanted, that included you."

He paused, collecting his thoughts before continuing.

"The truth is, I love you—yes, I said love. Before you and I started this journey together I liked you, but over the years that turned into something more. My feelings for you combined with my sudden superiority complex made me think you belonged to me. In reality, I just couldn't stand the thought of not seeing you again. It made my chest hurt."

Your gaze softened a bit.

Truthfully, you'd held some feelings for Hongjoong. Though, you tried to bury them, they were slowly resurfacing after his heartfelt confession.

"I had no reason to go after you like that. I should have just let you stay. You were right. You don't belong to me." He added.

That's all it took.

You grabbed his collar, pulling him forward and swiftly placing your lips on his. Hongjoong's words meant a lot to you and you were more than willing to forgive him.

He was stiff at first, not expecting you to initiate the kiss. Then, once he registered what was happening he started to reciprocate, kissing you with just as much hunger and ferocity as he was minutes earlier. There was so much passion and desperation in the kiss that it left you breathless. One of his hands made it's way to your waist while the other rested on your upper back, pulling you closer to him. His lips fully encased yours a few times before taking your bottom lips between his teeth. You were blown away by his kissing skills, your mind and body turning to mush.

When he parted ways, you found yourself gasping for breath, your chest heaving up and down. You didn't get a lot of time to relax as Hongjoong began leaving open-mouth kisses down your neck. Your breath caught in your throat as your fingers tangled themselves in Hongjoong's tousled mullet, grabbing at the long strands. Small gasps left you when his teeth grazed your skin. You never thought he would be so bold, but you weren't complaining at all.

Hongjoong pulled away, his eyes glazed over as he stared into your own. His lips were puffy from the intense makeout session and his cheeks were flushed—and this time it wasn't from alcohol.

"Don't ever run away from me again." He murmured hoarsely, his thumb running over your bottom lip.

"Don't do anything stupid and I won't."

He let out a short chuckle. "I promise. I also wanna say that I'm sorry for looting that town. I should have listened to you. I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

"Whatever it takes?" You questioned.

He nodded.

"Well, there is one thing."

Hongjoong returned the stolen items to the small town, apologizing for his actions. He continuously said he wasn't the type of person to do such horrible things and that he hopes the townspeople could forgive him.

Being the selfless people they were, the citizens forgave Hongjoong and even allowed him to keep some of the things he and the crew had looted. It was just enough supplies to last everyone until they got to another town. Mrs. Park and Seonghwa were happy to see you and understood that, while you had a good time staying in the town, your true home was at sea with Hongjoong. Mrs. Park even gave you her specialty cake as a parting gift.

"I baked it after you left." She told you.

"Don't you want to save some of this for yourself?"

"No." She shook her head. "You take it. Share it with the crew and that headstrong captain of yours."

You chuckled at her choice of adjective.

"He wasn't always so headstrong." You commented, glancing across the way at Hongjoong as he chatted with one of the townspeople. "That's why I'm here to be his voice of reason."

"Good." Mrs. Park smiled. "A man like him needs a strong woman by his side to keep him in check."

You chuckled lightly in response.

"Hey." Hongjoong cut in as he approached, snaking an arm around your waist. "We should get going."

You gave Seonghwa and Mrs. Park a bittersweet smile. "Thank you both for all the fond memories and giving me somewhat of a vacation."

"You're welcome." Seonghwa grinned.

"Come back anytime, dear." Mrs. Park smiled warmly.

With that, everyone boarded the ship and set sail once again.

"Mrs. Park gave me a cake." You smiled, showing Hongjoong. "It's her specialty."

"Looks good. Why don't we try it out?"

"It's to share with the crew." You told him, pulling it away.

"I'll share." Hongjoong responded with pleading eyes.

"I'll make sure you do."

"Hey." He piped up. "You know what goes good with cake?"

"What?"

"A party!"

For the first time in months, a party actually sounded fun.

Sour notes traveled through the night air as the crew sang out of tune. The celebration had just kicked off, so you knew the unpleasant singing wasn't from alcohol, though you expected it to get worse as the night went on.

Even Minho joined in on the celebrating, singing along with the crew and dancing around.

You sat alone on the forecastle deck watching the stars, the garbled singing once again becoming background noise.

The gentle thump of boots approaching caught you attention. You turned your head just as Hongjoong sat down next to you.

"What are you doing up here all alone? The party's not boring, is it?"

"No. I just wanted to watch the stars."

"Well, I brought you a slice of cake."

"Ah. Thank you." You smiled, taking the small plate from him. "What about you?"

"I thought we could share it." He responded, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

You tried to hold back a grin as he took the fork, getting a small bite of cake, bringing it to your lips.

You allowed Hongjoong to feed you, your eyes widening once you tasted the sweet treat.

"Mrs. Park was right. This is definitely her specialty." You commented.

"Wait." Hongjoong reached out, his fingers delicately holding your chin, turning you towards him. "You have something on you."

You didn't have time to respond as Hongjoong leaned in, pressing his lips to yours, his tongue swiping over your bottom lip, sending a rush of heat across your face.

He parted ways, letting out a chuckle as he licked his lips. "Got it."

You playfully smacked his shoulder, turning away in embarrassment.

"I can't believe you did that."

"But you liked it."

"A little." You responded, shyly.

"Oh. I almost forgot." He muttered, getting to his feet. "Wait here."

Hongjoong hurried off, returning moments later.

"Look what I got." He held up a bottle. "I told you I'd get us some fine wine."

"Where'd you get it?"

"Someone in that town gave it to me. He said it's meant to be shared with someone you love and then gestured to you." He chuckled. "I don't know how he knew we were together, but I have wine because of it."

"What are you waiting for? Let's open it."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

He popped the cork on the bottle, handing it to you. "M'lady." He offered.

You gladly took the bottle, taking a sip and humming in approval before handing it to him.

Your head rested on his shoulder as he took a large gulp of alcohol, setting the bottle on the deck.

"I love you, Hongjoong."

The words unconsciously slipped out, but you didn't care. Hongjoong's head rested on top of yours as he responded.

"I love you too, Y/n."

Seonghwa ⟡ Yunho ⟡ Yeosang ⟡ San ⟡ Mingi ⟡ Wooyoung ⟡ Jongho

Masterlist ᝰ — enjoyed this imagine? reblogs & comments are very much appreciated!

DO NOT steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way

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[justwonder113]

I love your writing sm 🫠🫠

could you write something fluffy and suggestive for han were you sit on his lap in his studio chair and you can’t stop kissing him and you’re distracting him from his work and he finds it so cute that you’re like this x

Oh my god thank you so much sweetheart! You don't know how much it means to me that you like my writing. I'm really sorry for taking so long to write, even though I absolutely LOVED the idea!!! I had one the meltdowns and uni has been an absolute nightmare so sorry. I really hope this was what you wanted and I hope you will like it. I will try to update stories more and more. Thankfully I will have more time^^

My masterlist

If you have any requests feel free to ask(though it might take me some time)

Warnings: Kind of suggestive, Bold reader, Cute whiney Jisung but he does complete 180 in the end. Jisung calls reader a brat

Word count -1.6k

23:33

You woke up from your sweet slumber by soft clicking of the keyboard. You didn't even realize when you started to dose off. All the work must have caught up to you. The week you had sure was hectic.

You looked at your boyfriend's hunched figure, he was deeply immersed in his work, he hadn't even noticed that you were awake. You felt sad, you barely saw each other. Your schedule was swarmed and he had comeback coming real soon. You tried to text and call but sometimes he was just so swarmed with work he responded hours later. He was really apologetic, he really tired his best. He texted you whenever he could, he sent gifts for you, sometimes flowers, sometimes food, when he knew your schedule was extra hectic. He also left you little notes around the house and, lets just say, randomly finding them was highlight of your day. Sometimes they were sweet messages, sometimes random quotes, sometimes silly little jokes and doodles. You loved every one of them and kept them in a little box in your room. You also tried to be just as supportive, this is why you were here in his studio, you came earlier with food and snacks for him and the boys. Jisung had barely texted you the whole day, so you knew he was extra busy, also you got suspicious that he wouldn't eat anything, he always got so involved with his work he sometimes forgot to even eat.

You were not wrong. Jisung shyly admitted to you that he, in fact, skipped a meal when you asked if he ate anything. Good for him that he was so cute and adorable you never had the ability to stay mad at him. He got so happy when he saw you that he almost knocked you down. He really was so adrable. The boys also thanked you, and you ate together, talking about what you were up to.

You talked for a while but one by one they left to do their own stuff leaving you with Jisung. Honestly, you were glad to be left alone with him, you've missed him too much. You talked with hushed voice, not once he let go of you, he was hugging you like a koala and showered your face with kisses. You couldn't help but giggle at his cute antics. After a while he excused himself and asked you to wait a little bit as he finished his song, promising to quickly wrap it up and go home together. But here you were now, still stuck in the studio.

You scanned around to find your phone to check the time, Jisung must have noticed you had fallen asleep and draped his jacket to keep you warm . He really was cute but you really wanted to scold him. He already worked inhuman hours he really was straining his body!

Your eyes almost popped out of your eyes when you noticed that it was basically midnight. Oh he really was done for now!

You got up, groaning from pain, your muscles were sore from laying on this uncomfortable sofa. After stretching a little you approached him, he was so immersed he didn't even notice you. You couldn't help but scoff when you carefully examined his face. His eyes were so red from looking at this damn screen all day. Apart from bloodshot eyes, he had dark eyebags, he looked a paler and you didn't know if you were exaggerating or not but he also looked a bit thinner. Also there was no way his body wouldn't ache from sitting like that, especially after dancing and practicing for ungodly amounts of time.

You carefully threaded your fingers through his hair and leaned down to kiss his cheek. He did jump a little not expecting your touch but he quickly relaxed and leaned into it. He opened his arms and looked at you with wide eyes expecting you to get into his lap and hug him. Sadly, it also meant that he still wasn't done. You sighed yet again, there was no way you could win this one. You complied and sat in his lap. Jisung immediately wrapped his arm around you and brought you closer to him so that you were chest to chest with no room between you, he quickly pecked your cheek and went back to working.

You tried your best to sit still and let him work so that you could go home as soon as possible, but you were also getting really bored.

After a minute or two an idea popped into your head. You shuffled a bit and hid your face into the crook of his neck, the smell of his perfume immediately soothing your senses. You put your right hand on his chest and wrapped the other around his shoulders. You waited for a second so that Jisung would think you were just getting comfortable, if he even noticed you moving around that is... The truth was that Han Jisung was really ticklish and his neck was especially sensitive. Whenever you decided to kiss his neck he would always reel back giggling and pouting at you cutely. He would always try and run away from you whenever he sensed that you were about to attack his neck. But where would he go now? You were in his lap, there was no way he could run.

You somewhat felt bad, he was always so sweet and gentle to you and no matter how ticklish he was he always let you snuggle up to his neck knowing that you loved it. Should you betray his trust like this?

He did notice you shuffling around, he tensed up for a second when your nose brushed against his sensitive skin but he quickly relaxed. You grinned it was your time to shine!

Carefully not to alert him you brushed your lips against his neck. The response was immediate, his hold around your waist immediately tightened. Oh you were going to get a reaction out of him one way or another. You kissed him again but with more passion now and quickly pecked him few more times. Jisung glanced at you but he didn't say anything. Oh he was on!

You continued your assault on his reddening skin and pecked every part of his skin you could reach one arm around his shoulders while the other had slid through his neck and into his hair playing with the silky soft stands on his nape, oaccasionaly pulling them drawing soft quiet groans from the boy. He whined out your name so prettily! And let's just say you absolutely adored his "little" reactions. He was set on staying as still as he could and act as if this whole thing didn't affect him at all but you could see right through him. "Babyy." He whined out but you didn't stop. His skin was all flushed in a beautiful shade of red, his breathing had become more rugged and shalllow. His left hand held onto your hip for dear life and brought you as close to him as it possibly could as if you would dissappear if he let go. God you loved this boy! You kissed him more and let's just say you hoped his jacket had a high collar because you had left really pretty marks onto his skin. You would gladly show it to the world but you were not sure how his fans would react if anyone were to see you and share photos. And you knew many stays had hawklike vision.

You didn't even consider to stop your attack, Jisung hadn't even done anything to stop you so, you let yourself go. It was only when you moved a little and started kissing his jaw and in the haze let your teeth graze against his skin that he held you tightly and pulled you off.

You looked at him with confused eyes, his face unreadable. Did you upset him? Was he mad? You were about to apologize when he sighed out something and leaned in to smash his lips against yours, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Both of his hands were around your waist now, pulling you impossibly close, as if he wanted to devour you, wanted to be one with you, and who were you to deny him anything? You tried your best to keep up with him and return the kiss with the same burning passion but honestly you couldn't keep up. You didn't know what came up to him but you loved it. You felt like melting, like you really thought you could turn into a puddle, you felt ignited, you felt alive. There was no thought in your head other than that you loved this boy. Your lungs were burning but you weren't even considering to lean back for air. You were just consumed with Han Jisung.

It was Han who broke the kiss and leaned back to let you breathe. Both of you struggled to breathe normally, as if you had forgotten how to do so. You wanted to say something but were at loss for words, it was Han who broke the silence. He flicked your forehead and pouted at you. "You're a real brat do you know that?" You couldn't help but giggle. You swore this boy had some type of switch into his head. He almost made you melt into a puddle by giving you the best kiss of your life and now he was pouting at you all cutely like he did nothing wrong. God you loved him!

You grinned at him, "Does this mean we're going home?"

Han rolled his eyes and softly pinched your side. "Brat."

Yup, you had won.

[gleamingyu]

anti-hero.

part II of the midnights series. inspired by taylor swift’s midnights. part I

pairing: music-producer!seungcheol x lawyer!fem!reader [exes-to-lovers]

genre: angst. fluff.

warnings: she/her pronouns for reader (but no specific physical characteristics). a bucketload of angst (i'm so sorry). light cursing. terrible knowledge of law stuff. so much crying yikes. miscommunication & misunderstandings. mentions of drinking and allusions to driving under the influence (do not do that ever!!). reader might seem a bit unlikeable in this chapter, but it's all part of the plot, okay?? she's trying her best. mentions of intimacy and sex (??), nothing graphic tho. slow burn. alternating povs. jihan as my lovely, beautiful, in love babies (yes they're a couple). some petnames (baby, babe). flashbacks are in italics. lower caps intended [if there’s anything i missed, please let me know!]

word count: approx. 8.1k (idk what happened)

notes: finally managed to work on my baby again. i'm sorry for the long wait but i had a lot of shit going on :/ thank you to everyone who showed love on the first part, i love each and every single on of you!! once again, likes, reblogs and comments are more than appreciated :)

summary: seungcheol wants to fix things; you want to avoid him at all costs. one thing is for sure, though. neither of you will have closure until you talk.

four months ago

the silence ringing inside seungcheol’s ears was even louder than the ambient noise of the restaurant he found himself in.

he genuinely couldn’t believe you were doing this to him again. the time was nearing 8 p.m., almost an hour later than when you were supposed to be here, and seungcheol was trying very hard to ignore the pitiful glances the waiters were not-so-subtly throwing him. he didn’t know what frustrated him more; the fact this was the seventh date you were clearly canceling on, or that you hadn’t updated him on your whereabouts in almost half an hour. if you weren’t going to show up, the least you could do is call and let seungcheol know you were gonna meet him at home.

home. funny how the word no longer brought a sense of peace in seungcheol’s heart.

just as he was about to get up and leave, seungcheol felt his phone buzz in the pocket of his pants, and his heart soared when he saw your name displayed on the screen. maybe you were going to make it after all, maybe you could still enjoy the nice evening he had planned, maybe…

“cheol… i’m so sorry.”

you were not coming.

seungcheol could tell from the apologetic tone in your voice. he didn’t even hear the next words that came from your end, whatever excuse you had to offer getting lost in the sound of his heart breaking. the grip he had on his phone was the only thing anchoring him in that moment, his eyes closed as he was trying to push down the tears that were threatening to spill out. he could hear you calling his name, are you there? but all he could offer was an “i’ll see you at home” before ending the call.

there was no part of you that was ready to face what awaited you on the other side of your apartment door.

the day hadn’t gone as you’d planned. you knew seungcheol had plans for the two of you that evening, so you had decided to wake up and go to the office earlier than usual in order to finish what you were working on in time for your date. but when you woke up that morning, you found seungcheol in the kitchen, diligently trying his best at making breakfast for the two of you. you melted at the sight of your boyfriend wearing your peach-colored apron – and nothing underneath but a pair of sweatpants – and you didn’t have the heart to turn him down when he oh-so-gleefully presented you with what could only be described as an admirable attempt at pancakes. moments like these were rare in your lives, with both of your hectic schedules and whatnot, so you sat down and enjoyed the warmth that came from the food, the sun coming in through the curtains, and seungcheol’s smile.

the sense of peace that came with spending the morning with seungcheol quickly dispersed once you arrived at the office and realized you were late, which gave your boss – mr. moon, a pathetic, greedy, and cruel excuse of a man who lived to make the lives of his employees a living hell – the perfect excuse to make you his target of the day. in addition to the case you were supposed to work on, mr. moon decided to dump on you stacks of paperwork that apparently needed to be taken care of by tonight, a task that normally a damn paralegal could take care of – no offense to paralegals.

normally you wouldn’t put up with this type of behavior. you weren’t raised to let people just walk all over you as they damn pleased. but around the office, there was one unspoken rule that everyone learned as soon as they started working here; ‘whatever mr. moon says, goes.’ besides, moon was the only person on the board of directors that could veto promotions in the firm, so until you could see the words senior associate inscribed under your name on the door of your office, you’d have to shut your mouth and take whatever was thrown at you with your head held high.

that isn’t to say that sometimes you wished mr. moon would get hit by a bus, ‘mean girls’ style. today had been one of those days, as the hours trickled by, closer and closer to when you should leave for your date with seungcheol, and yet mr. moon seemed to have a continuous stream of tasks that needed to be done, by you specifically. you realized you would never make it in time to see seungcheol, and so, tonight marked the seventh date you had to cancel because of work.

now, with the time on your phone reading 22:32, you were standing outside your apartment, bracing yourself for the talk you knew you were going to have with seungcheol. letting out a big exhale, you punched in the door code and let yourself in, the quietness of the apartment immediately enveloping you.

for a split second, you thought seungcheol might have gone to sleep already, but the faint sound of glass redirected you towards the kitchen, where you found said man standing by the kitchen island, nursing a glass of wine. you recognized the bottle mingyu had gifted him on his birthday that year, some fancy brand you’d never heard of before. as you stepped closer, the dim light of the kitchen finally illuminating you, seungcheol turned towards you, an inscrutable look on his face.

after four years of learning, knowing, loving seungcheol, you prided yourself in being able to discern what he was feeling at any given moment. but now, standing in front of him, you were scared to admit that you couldn’t read whatever feelings his eyes held. it made you feel uneasy, the way it seemed like he was looking through you, into you, and you wished you could come up with something to say to disturb the uncomfortable silence, but saying i’m sorry seemed redundant in that moment.

“a bit late, isn’t it?” seungcheol spoke up, and your heart clenched at the cold, almost mocking tone of his voice.

“i know, but i couldn’t get out faster. no matter what i said, my boss kept piling up my work and i just… i couldn’t. i’m so sorry… you know i wanted to come, more than anything. i really did,” you said, silently pleading that seungcheol would forgive you.

“i’m sure you did,” seungcheol gruffed, turning his attention back to the wine before him.

“cheol… don’t be like this, please…” you tried getting closer to him, but his body whipped towards you, his eyes narrowing at you.

“like what, exactly? angry? frustrated? sad? disappointed? i can be like that, actually, seeing as this is the seventh time in 3 months you’ve ditched me for work, apparently!” seungcheol spewed, making you take several steps back. your body tenses.

“‘apparently?’ what is that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know, it just seems very unlikely that you’d have to sometimes spend more than twelve hours at work. i mean, you’re a lawyer, aren’t you? surely, you should know everything about workplace laws,” seungcheol bit back. he’s never spoken to you like this before, ever, the mockery in his voice surely aimed to hurt you. you felt anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach, but you tried your best to stay calm, for the sake of both of you.

“seungcheol,” you said, and you couldn’t help feeling a twinge of satisfaction seeing his eyebrows raise in surprise after hearing you use his full name. “if you have something to say, i’d rather you just do it, instead of insinuating it.”

seungcheol fell quiet for a moment, glancing down at his feet. “i meant it when i said i was held back at work, cheol. why would i lie about that?” you continued.

“for the past two years that you’ve been working there, you know i never once met any of your coworkers? i’ve never even stepped foot into your office, for god’s sake! you’ve been to my studio countless of times, you know the people i’m closest to, i’ve invited you to all the events the label organizes, so i just can’t understand! i don’t understand why you’re dead-set on keeping me away from that part of your life! and it makes me think… it makes me feel like i’m not enough, like you’re ashamed of me–”

“that’s absolutely not true, cheol!” you jumped in. you couldn’t even entertain the thought of seungcheol feeling self-conscious because of you, when it was the furthest thing you wanted. “i think you’re the most talented person i know, the most passionate, hard-working, smart… beautiful… i could never be ashamed of you.”

unshed tears were clinging to both of your lashes, heavy breathing echoing around the kitchen. how could you let things get so bad?

“it made me think there was someone else,” seungcheol breathes out.

the air gets stuck in your throat, the tears brimming in your eyes finally sliding down your face. “cheol… how could… there never was anyone! i swear, all the nights i would come home late, it was because of my work! i swear, i would never… you’re the only person that’s ever on my mind…”

silence fell over you and seungcheol, the words thrown between you slowly sinking in. seungcheol sniffled, taking a seat at the round table in the middle of the kitchen; you wished you could go to him, gather him in your arms, even though he’s too big to fit in completely, but you knew that this was probably the last thing seungcheol wanted from you in that moment.

“why don’t you quit?”

seungcheol looked up to you, the sadness in his gaze so intense it made you look away, knowing you’re to blame for it. “you complain so much about it… the hours, the work, the boss, the people. why can’t you just leave?”

you breathed in, thinking over seungcheol’s words. “because… because i love doing what i do. i feel about law the way you feel about music. it’s just the environment that’s shitty. but it’s something… that’s mine. and the kind of opportunities i got at this firm… people just starting out, like me, don’t come by them very often usually.”

there was a pause as seungcheol mulled over your words. a part of you thought, hoped, that the way the conversation was going would lead to fixing things, but then seungcheol spoke up again, and you knew. there was no fixing, not anymore.

“i was yours, too. and i would’ve never chosen music over you.”

“you say that now, but if you were put in a situation where you had to choose, i don’t think you’d have as easy of a time as you say.”

“i guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.”

and that was the end of it.

three days after your unexpected reunion with seungcheol, you find yourself back at PLEDIS, ready to tackle jihoon’s case.

the morning had gone on normally enough, with people coming in to give their testimonies regarding jihoon, his work and their relationships with him. as expected, no one had come forward with any potentially harmful or negative remarks about him, everyone applauding him for his tireless dedication to the label and the artists he worked with, as well as marveling at his seemingly innate musical talent and creativity. this was no surprise to you; having known jihoon for almost as long as you’d known seungcheol, you witnessed first-hand jihoon’s mastery of his craft, on multiple occasions. and now, with all the information you had gathered in the past three hours since arriving at PLEDIS, you were starting to feel more confident about winning this lawsuit.

initially, you had no intention of taking on jihoon’s case. the previous weekend, when mr. moon had called you in, you arrived at the firm with your mind set on demanding a break. in the past months, you might as well have changed your home address to the office, seeing as you had been working non-stop on one case after another, pulling countless sleepless nights and taking on extra paperwork as favors to some of your coworkers. and after finding out what the case was actually about, you were even more adamant about turning it down. but all the excuses you offered mr. moon were effectively shut down, leaving you almost begging the man to pass the case to someone else.

before you could use your past relationship with the other in-house music producer working at PLEDIS as an excuse, mr. moon delivered the lowest of low blows. “you know, a high profile case like this could attract lots of new clients for the firm… and put you right on the track for senior associate.”

there was no use arguing anymore after that. moon knew how much you wanted that promotion, and you were honestly not surprised to see him using it against you in order to force you into doing whatever work he wanted you to. so you shut your mouth, took the case, and then went home and cried.

yes, you cried. moving on.

seeing seungcheol again, and unexpectedly so, definitely set you a few steps back in whatever emotional healing you had done in the past few months. and it definitely made you doubt your own abilities as a lawyer. if you couldn’t put aside your personal feelings and instead focus on helping a guy who was being wrongfully accused, were you even meant to practice the law? but you had worked far too hard and sacrificed far too much to let these thoughts cloud your judgment and confidence, so you told yourself that even if you had to be in seungcheol’s proximity for the foreseeable future, your main priority was winning this case. for jihoon, and for yourself.

of course, planning to ignore the obvious feelings you still harbored for your ex-boyfriend was way easier than actually ignoring them. now, as you were gathering your things to meet wonwoo in the conference room he was stationed in, you were also mentally preparing yourself for the off-chance that you would bump into seungcheol again. considering how your luck’s been going in the past few weeks, you think the chances are pretty high.

walking through the halls of PLEDIS felt oddly familiar, and yet strange at the same time. when you and seungcheol first started dating, the label was just starting out, carrying all its business in a measly two-story building on the outskirts of town. you felt a tiny knot forming at the back of your throat, thinking how crazy it was to have witnessed the immense growth that seungcheol went through as an artist and a person, and now, to be walking amongst the fruits of the labor of his work, and so many other people’s, who built the label from the ground up.

as you grow nearer to the conference room where wonwoo was most likely waiting for you, you suddenly catch a whiff of a scent all too familiar to you. musky notes of jasmine and bergamot fill your senses, and for a brief moment, you feel an almost supernatural pull urging you to follow the indistinguishable fragrance.

you know exactly where it leads. but now is not the time.

before you can push the door open and walk into the room, your phone’s screen lights up with a text message. ‘hey honey. can you call when you have the time? she’s not having a very good day…’

you sigh, before dialing your mom’s number.

four years ago

seungcheol always smelled divine.

over the years, you’d heard so many of your friends go on and on about their boyfriends’ perfumes, and how once they found the right scent, they could charm the pants off of them with just the smell of their cologne. to you, that idea seemed entirely far-fetched, because, after all, people aren’t dogs. who in their right mind would base their selection of a partner on something as feeble as smell? even more so, an artificial smell, that didn’t even last forever.

clearly, since a few weeks ago, you haven’t been in your right mind, because you swore there was nothing better in this world than the way seungcheol smelled.

all your friends kept telling you that they’d never seen you act like this before. the honeymoon phase of your relationship had hit you pretty hard, and you were completely smitten with cheol. his smile, his eyes, his dimples, his laugh, his hair, his charm… and his scent, you couldn’t get enough of him. and now, as you were making your way towards PLEDIS together, you couldn’t help but wish you could nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck and stay there forever.

it was your first time seeing where seungcheol worked. you had been wanting to see his studio ever since he had first told you about his job (and proved that he wasn’t one of those wannabe soundcloud rappers or whatever), but considering the label wasn’t exactly in a central location, getting there proved slightly difficult. not to mention that most days, your classes ran pretty late, and seungcheol shared his studio with jihoon, the other music producer at PLEDIS, which meant you couldn’t pop in whenever you had a window of free time, so as to not disturb them.

that night, however, seungcheol decided you deserved a break from your studies, and since your midterms were coming up, it might have been one of the last times you could afford to go out before getting swept up in the craziness of exam season. so after your last class of the day, seungcheol picked you up from campus and drove you outside of town, where PLEDIS stood.

“are you absolutely sure it’s alright for me to be here? i don’t want you to get in trouble with your… superiors, if that’s what you call them,” you said, walking up the stairs closely behind cheol.

“i already told you, it’s fine! besides, you’re not planning to steal any confidential information and spread it online, are you?” he teased, stopping in front of a door that you assumed was his studio.

“hmm, i don’t know… what makes you think i’m not secretly working for one of your competitors?”

seungcheol chuckled, shaking his head, before looking back at you. “oh, baby, you and i both know you like me too much to hurt me so,” he said, finally unlocking the door and letting you step inside.

well, he wasn’t wrong.

to most people, seungcheol and jihoon’s studio might not have looked like much. it held all the standard recording and mixing equipment one would expect to find there, along with personal touches from the boys, like pictures with their friends, some posters, a couple of cd racks, as well as a couch and two huge leather desk chairs. one the other side, inside the recording booth, you could see a keyboard, a couple of guitars, and a drum set, as well as some microphones, of course. to someone who’s never stepped foot in a recording studio before, like you, the place was amazing. and not just because cheol worked in there.

“i know it’s not a lot…” seungcheol mumbles, moving besides you, his arm stretched out in a way that said you could walk around.

your hands grazed the equipment on his desk, holding yourself back in fear of breaking something. “i like it, cheol. it’s homely, and cozy. definitely a good space to get those creative juices flowing,” you gave him a genuine smile, which you could tell instantly put him at ease from the way his shoulders visibly relaxed. he grinned at you, pulling up next to you by the sound board.

“you wanna see how the magic happens?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. you couldn’t help but groan, rolling your eyes.

“cheol, that was so cheesy… but yes, i do. please,” you said, giddy smiles taking over both of your faces.

“okay! come here,” he said, pulling you into his lap as he sat down in his desk chair. you felt your cheeks heat up at his actions, so natural and nonchalant, totally unaware of the effect he had on you. how could he be so oblivious, and quite literally torture you so? being so close to him now, his cologne starting to overpower your senses, you were sure to go dizzy.

“i’m gonna use one of the demos i have here, but for the record, i did not play anything for you while you were here, got it?” seungcheol said, opening an audio file on his laptop.

“yes, sir!” you gave him a wink, his ears turning red. cute.

for the next couple of minutes, seungcheol gives you a rundown on the soundboard, showing you what goes into recording and mixing a song, and even letting you play around with the different settings for pitch and autotune. even though it was all very interesting, nothing compared to just watching seungcheol’s excitement and passion while talking about music. every time your conversations would somehow turn towards music, his face would light up like a kid’s on christmas morning, his whole body animatedly gesturing while he rattled on about his favorite artists and composers, whatever new album came out that week, and even why a song with a good bass line is guaranteed to become a hit (yes, that was an actual discussion the two of you had once). seeing the obvious love he harbored for this art form made you ten times more enamored with him. you could already tell his passion and hard work were going to take him places, and you couldn’t wait to see it all.

“cheol? how did you know you wanted to do music?” you asked, turning to look up at your boyfriend.

“oh, wow, we’re going for the deep stuff, huh?” he laughed.

“you don’t have to share if you don’t want to, i was just curious… you always talk so passionately about it, i could just tell it means a lot to you.”

seungcheol sighed, leaning back into the chair. “it’s alright. i really don’t know how i got here, to be honest. i’ve always been interested in music, and found myself writing and experimenting with sound. one day, i just knew that i couldn’t really picture myself doing anything else. so i focused on that and worked my ass off, i guess.”

“well, clearly?! we’re sitting in your own studio! i’d say you’re doing pretty great,” you exclaimed, smiling at seungcheol’s blushing cheeks. “you should be proud of yourself, cheol, really.”

seungcheol can’t even look at you right now, too overcome with giddiness at the onslaught of compliments you’re suddenly throwing his way. instead, he shoves his face in the crook of your neck, mumbling a quiet ‘thanks.’

“is it hard to come up with new music?” you continue, playing with the strings of the hoodie he was wearing.

“hmm, it depends,” his voice is muffled, and you flinch at the ticklish feeling of his breath fanning on your neck. “there are days when i can put down a whole song and melody at once; sometimes it takes me weeks to be satisfied with a song i’m working on. but lately i’ve been feeling more… inspired than usual, so it’s been going pretty well.”

you turn your face towards him, a teasing smile stretching across your lips. “oh, really? how come?”

seungcheol returns your smile, his fingers pressing slightly harder into your skin where they sat on your waist. “just someone i met recently… they’re really nice and beautiful and funny and smart,” now it was your turn to grow shy, feeling your cheeks and chest grow warm at the implication of his words. “but i think jihoon is growing tired of all the ballads i’ve been writing.”

you both fall into a fit of giggles, your faces so impossibly close, your noses brush. “poor jihoon… whatever will he do?” you whisper, and before you can breathe in again, seungcheol’s lips fall against yours.

the air in your lungs dissipates in seconds. your entire body is ablaze, and you swear your hearing no longer registers the music playing from seungcheol’s laptop, instead becoming attuned to the sound of cheol’s soft sighs. you want this moment to last forever, to melt into his embrace, ingrain yourself into his very existence. his lips grow more and more fervent against yours, and you swear your mind goes blank, the only thought even going through your head in that moment a chant of his name. cheol, cheol, cheol, cheol…

later that night, once you’re home, getting ready for bed, you catch a whiff of seungcheol’s cologne again, the scents of his perfume imbued into your sweatshirt. you can’t help but smile like an idiot.

you didn’t wash that sweatshirt for a week after.

no matter how much seungcheol loved his friends, he couldn’t go on another second hearing jeonghan and joshua discuss whether they should choose lilies or hydrangeas for their wedding (because the good ol’ rose is too much of a cliche, apparently, according to joshua).

an exasperated sigh escaped him, his whole body slouching from the weight of the gloom he was carrying. jeonghan and joshua, who had been animatedly bantering over wedding preparations, suddenly go quiet, their heads snapping up to look at their friend. if this was a cartoon, they swore you would see a huge, gray cloud hanging above his head.

“alright, you gotta tell us what’s got you all pouty and gloomy, because this? this is just sad, cheol,” said joshua, gesturing at seungcheol’s crouched figure.

he sighed again, but straightened his back this time. the truth was, nothing particularly bad had happened today. but the day hadn’t gone as seungcheol had initially planned.

that morning, seungcheol had arrived at work determined to talk to you. seeing you again earlier that week had broken down the walls seungcheol had put up in the months following your breakup, and all the emotions he had tried pushing behind those walls – anger, sadness, frustration, yearning, love – were slowly, but surely, seeping back in. there was no point denying it anymore; seungcheol was not ready to let go just yet.

taking jihoon’s advice to heart, he decided to ‘grow some balls’ and initiate a discussion with you, one that you probably should’ve had before any of the shit that went down between the two of you could’ve gone down. seungcheol knew, deep down, that you were hiding something, and thought that once both of your cards were out on the table, you could either work on fixing what’s been broken, or you could both gain some closure and move on with your lives.

seungcheol was desperately hoping for the first option.

either way, whatever plans seungcheol had made were quickly put on hold when he arrived at his meeting and only found your colleague, jeon wonwoo, waiting for him in the conference room. he’d made himself look like an idiot, bluntly asking about your whereabouts, disappointment clear on his face at your lack of presence, which only got him an inscrutable look from wonwoo (who made a mental note to check in with you about this little outburst, for safety reasons). wonwoo hadn’t mentioned anything about you throughout the interview, which in retrospect, seungcheol realized, was more than normal, considering wonwoo probably had no idea that the two of you even dated before. if anyone at your firm would’ve known about your previous relationship, he imagines you wouldn’t even be here, working on this case. conflict of interest and all.

in the end, seungcheol had no idea whether you were even at PLEDIS at all, and didn’t even have time to ask around for you, having a number of recording sessions planned for the rest of the morning. it wasn’t until jeonghan called and invited him out for lunch with him and joshua, that seungcheol left his studio again. when his friends greeted him outside the restaurant they decided on, they held back from commenting on his sulky expression.

seungcheol didn’t tell them that he had half a mind to turn down their invitation when he heard where the couple wanted to meet. IL GRATO was your favorite place in town (you used to say because it was where seungcheol had taken you on your first date), and the restaurant held plenty of the many happy memories you and seungcheol had made over the years. obviously, seungcheol wasn’t particularly keen on revisiting them today, but he didn’t want to seem more pathetic than he already felt, so he shut up and pretended everything was fine.

that didn’t last long, evidently.

“why don’t you just call her? she’s obligated to answer, now that she’s working on jihoon’s situation, right? ask to schedule a meeting with her or something,” jeonghan said, sipping on his glass of prosecco.

“and what reason could i give her for a meeting? that jeon dude already asked me anything he could about jihoon, so i can’t use anything about the case,” seungcheol mumbled. “and saying i wanna discuss the clear unresolved feelings left between us is guaranteed to get her to hang up on me.”

joshua, who had been intently listening to seungcheol’s whines, suddenly perks up, grabbing seungcheol’s shoulder. “cheol, didn’t you mention jeon said he still had some interviews lined up after lunch time?”

seungcheol frowned. “yeah? what difference does it make?”

“well, dumbass, if Y/N was in fact at PLEDIS all this time, that means that she’s probably in one of the conference rooms on the same floor as him. and since most staff clock out at 5 p.m., i’d say you still have about half an hour to go back, find her, and talk to her. like you said you wanted,” joshua explained pointedly, giving seungcheol a look that screamed you have to do it or else i will hurt you.

joshua was right. how could he have been so stupid, to completely overlook what wonwoo had mentioned off-handedly at the end of their meeting. he hadn’t even considered the possibility that you and wonwoo had split up to cover more ground in collecting testimonies, and now he was at risk of completely missing his chance to see you, unless he hauled ass to PLEDIS immediately.

seungcheol shot up from his seat, quickly gathering his things and throwing his credit card on the table, before dashing for the front door. “you guys are the best! lunch is on me!” he shouted, before taking off running.

jeonghan and joshua look at each other, before bursting into giggles. jeonghan sighs, “i need them to resolve this issue before the wedding, really. i won’t be able to handle it if seungcheol mopes around during the whole ceremony.”

joshua cooed, rolling his eyes. “you simply can’t rush love, babe,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to his lover’s cheek.

jeonghan rolled his eyes, turning his attention to the spreadsheet full of wedding prep details laid out on the table. a mischievous glint gleamed in his eyes, as he turned to look at joshua. “so, my dear joshuji, how about lilies for the flower displays?”

“JEONGHAN, I SAID NO!”

nine months ago

when you and seungcheol arrived at IL GRATO, jeonghan and joshua were already inside, patiently waiting at the table they had booked for your party of four, wearing two oddly calm smiles on their faces.

to say you and seungcheol weren’t suspicious at all would be a lie.

jeonghan had called earlier that week to invite the two of you on a double date that weekend – which wasn’t unusual, since the four of you had been going on dates like these since forever  – but what had put you and seungcheol on edge was the ‘news’ jeonghan mentioned he and joshua had to share.

you and seungcheol had been going through a rough patch in the past two weeks, and this fact wasn’t unknown to your group of friends. the two of you were not the type to air out your dirty laundry, so for your friends to notice the growing tension between you meant that things were truly going badly. even though neither you or seungcheol had verbalized this to each other, you were both worried that tonight’s double date was just a cover up for an intervention, aimed to make you and seungcheol work through whatever it was bothering you two. jeonghan and joshua were seungcheol’s oldest and closest friends, and they never shied away from confronting seungcheol (and you, after you were welcomed into their friend group), especially when it came to his well-being, both physical and mental. you had been preparing your defense all week, just in case they decided to bring the situation up (and you also realized how desperately you needed a break from work).

after settling in and exchanging common pleasantries about your lives and work, the four of you put in your orders (jeonghan ordering the most expensive bottle of champagne on the menu, much to yours and seungcheol’s surprise), and after the waiter brought the drinks along, you decided to bite the bullet and ask the question that had been bothering you all week.

“so, you two said you had some news to share, right?”

jeonghan and joshua exchange a secretive look, and you only just notice the blush that seems to grace their faces. they looked like teenagers in love. you couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of envy.

“i guess there’s no reason to beat around the bush…” joshua said, looking again towards jeonghan.

“we’re getting married!” the other continues, leaning back into his seat to throw an arm around joshua, grinning from ear to ear.

silence falls over the table, as you and seungcheol drink in jeonghan’s revelation. you jump out of your seat, genuine excitement and joy overtaking you, as you walk around the table to hug and congratulate the two men. a string of high-pitched ‘oh my gods’ leave your lips, gaining the attention of a few other restaurant patrons, but you honestly couldn’t care less, too happy for your dear friends to pay attention to them.

as you make your way back to your seat, holding tightly onto joshua’s hand, you notice that seungcheol was eerily quiet, silently watching his friends, his eyes wide and unblinking. you lay a hand onto his arm, squeezing. “cheol… aren’t you going to say something?” you whisper.

that seems to snap him out of his daze, a gasp escaping him, before his hands come up to cover his face. you, joshua, and jeonghan exchange a concerned look, completely blindsided by seungcheol’s unexpected reaction, since he was as one of jeonghan and joshua’s loudest supporters (he had been betting on the two of them getting together since they were teenagers). but before either of you can say something else, seungcheol looks up, unshed tears swimming along his lash line.

“i’m sorry, i just…” he pauses, as if trying to find the right words. “i just can’t… believe… that neither of you told me! you traitors! you were planning to get engaged and i just find out at the same time as everyone else?” seungcheol pouts, his dramatics leaving the rest of you in tears.

“hey! what is that supposed to mean?” you tease, trying to calm your laughter down.

“no offense, baby, but me and the boys? we have history,” seungcheol winks, before turning back to his friends. “which means i should have priority to all life-changing news in your lives!”

the table falls into laughter once again, before jeonghan and joshua proceed to give you and seungcheol all the details he was claiming they had been keeping away from him. the rest of the evening goes like this, drinks and food shared around, and you almost forget about whatever problems your own relationship has been having, too busy reveling in the love radiating from the couple in front of you.

that night, on the drive home, you and seungcheol fall into comfortable silence, a first in the past weeks. you don’t know if it’s the buzz from the alcohol you drank, or the crooning voice of whatever singer was playing on the radio, but you can’t help but look over to seungcheol’s side, your eyes glancing over the side of his face. he was so handsome, cheeks blushed and hair messy from tonight’s laughter. you wanted to lean over and run the tips of your fingers over the edges of his face, pour everything you couldn’t say into just one touch. please forgive me, just trust me…

“what’s the staring for?” seungcheol speaks, and you whip your head around, looking out the window on your side.

“ah, i wasn’t staring!” you mumble, feeling your face grow hot. “was just thinking… about tonight.”

he smiles, briefly glancing your way. “me too,” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

a beat passes before seungcheol speaks up again. “when we get married, what would you want our wedding to be like?”

your heart swells when you realize he said ‘when’ instead of ‘if,’ but you can’t help but tease him a little bit. “‘when?’ i haven’t even said ‘yes’ yet, cheollie,” you smirk, turning your face towards him again.

evidently, seungcheol catches onto your little joke, but he plays into it. “emphasis on ‘yet’, baby. now answer the question!”

“okay, okay,” you chuckle. “well, i think i’d like something small… just our closest family and friends… maybe somewhere outside the city, like in the countryside, something like that,” you say decidedly, already daydreaming about all the possibilities.

“what about the beach? i think a beach wedding would be so cool… do you think your mom would let us have it at her beach house?” seungcheol says, an excited glimmer evident in his eyes.

he completely misses how your face falls at the mention of your mother, but you quickly mask it by nonchalantly agreeing with him. “i don’t see why not, she would probably love that…”

the rest of the drive goes by fast, the two of you bantering over silly wedding things like flowers, color palettes, and music selection (obviously), before you finally arrive home. inside, you both move lazily, drunk on love – or the leftover champagne in your systems – slowly undressing, stealing kisses, exchanging giggles and tantalizing looks… for the first time in weeks, you feel a sense of peace cover you, a quiet voice in the back of your mind assuring you that everything was going to be alright, and you embrace the feeling, falling into seungcheol as he whispers sweet nothings into your ears.

just as you’re about to fall into bed, your phone starts ringing from the floor of the bedroom, and at first you ignore it, too caught up in the feeling of seungcheol’s mouth against you, but the noise is insistent, and cheol detaches from you with a groan, urging you to see who’s bothering you in the middle of the night.

seungcheol can’t see the name on your screen, but when you tell him it’s your mom, he motions for you to take the call – she wouldn’t call this late unless there was an emergency, after all – but much to his surprise, you shuffle to find a shirt to put on, before you leave the room to take the call. from the bedroom, he can only hear muffled snippets of your conversation, and the tone of your voice is too ambiguous for him to guess how the talk is going.

when you come back, he doesn’t bring up the fact that you’d never gone to another room to take a call before. ever.

as soon as the clock on the wall reads 5 p.m., you bring the final interview you had scheduled for the day to an end, and as you say your goodbyes to the woman from the marketing department, wonwoo walks into the conference room, struggling to balance a stack of papers in his hands. you rush towards him, picking up part of the papers.

“woah, are these all the testimonies from your part of the staff?” you question, marveling at the size of the stack wonwoo brought in.

“yeah, crazy, isn’t it? i still can’t believe so many people came forward for this guy,” wonwoo replies, setting down his shoulder bag on the table. his shoulders seem tense, a whole day sitting at a desk clearly taking a toll on him.

“well, he’s clearly appreciated. everyone who i talked with only had good things to say about him,” you say nonchalantly, flicking through the papers, trying to pretend like you weren’t already aware of jihoon’s stellar reputation. each piece of paper seemed to be a reformulation of what the previous person mentioned, everybody mentioning similar qualities and compliments regarding him.

after you and wonwoo go over the information you both collected today, making a game plan for the next steps that needed to be taken, you both gather your things to finally go home for the day, exhaustion setting in. although the day hadn’t been particularly stressful, the possibility of bumping into seungcheol had caused you much more anxiety than usual, and you honestly couldn’t wait to get out of here and finally be able to breathe normally.

as you wait for the elevator – which seems to be taking its sweet time, moving in slow motion to the seventh floor – you hear wonwoo mumble under his breath, before he lets out an “oh, fucking hell.” ever the proper gentleman, he catches himself, and swiftly apologizes for his choice of words.

you chuckle, waving your hand to dismiss his unnecessary apology. “what’s wrong?”

“i’m missing some documents… i think i left them in the room i was in this morning, i’ll go after them. you go ahead and get going, i don’t want to hold you back any longer,” he explains, already turning around to head for the conference room.

“are you sure? i don’t mind wa–”

“i’m sure! go, you deserve to rest,” he shouts, disappearing around the corner of the hallway.

you sigh, shaking your head, but appreciating the gesture nevertheless. the elevator bell dings, and the doors open to reveal an empty cabin. you breathe out a sigh of relief, thankful for the silence. you press the button for the ground floor, and close your eyes, leaning against the back wall of the elevator, hoping to ease the sting that came from staring into a computer screen for a whole day.

your peace and quiet is short-lived however, as the elevator only manages to go down to the sixth floor before stopping again. you sigh, preparing yourself for the onslaught of tired employees who were most likely rushing to get home as well. however, when you open your eyes, there’s only one other pair staring into yours, and you feel all the air inside your lungs dissipating, leaving you breathless.

seungcheol is standing in front of you, wearing an equally speechless look on his face. the two of you stare at each other, almost as if you’re scared to move, in fear of disrupting the karmic force that brought this moment upon you even more. you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole, feeling completely unprepared for this situation. you’d thought you were finally out of the woods, that you’d be able to go home in peace and not think about the case, about cheol, about anything anymore, at least for tonight.

clearly, the universe had other plans for you.

seungcheol seems to snap out of his daze when the doors of the elevator start to close again, his arm shooting out to stop them and finally stepping inside. as the doors close behind him and the elevator resumes its course downwards, you suddenly feel like the cabin is ten times smaller than it was a few moments ago, your body instinctively moving to one of the corners of the elevator. seungcheol naturally takes over the corner opposite from you, and you can feel his eyes on you with every step he takes.

you can’t fucking breathe, and you can’t believe he still has such a hold over your body.

“hi.”

“hi.”

you both say it at the same time, and under different circumstances, the two of you might’ve erupted in giggles at the coincidence. in this moment, however, the tension between you is so palpable, it’s almost constricting.

“how’s jihoon’s case going?” seungcheol asks, and you feel almost grateful for him taking the initiative to fill the silence.

“it’s good, yeah. we had a productive day, gathered a lot of info,” you say, clearing your throat. why were you being so goddamn awkward?

seungcheol nods, humming, silence filling the space once again. you dared to sneak a glance in his direction, noticing his furrowed brows and pursed mouth. four months could not erase everything you learned about cheol in four years, and you immediately recognized his ‘i’m trying to find the right words’ look. you sigh, knowing exactly what’s inevitably coming, so you decide to put seungcheol out of his misery.

“seungcheol,” you say, voice barely above a whisper. your eyes meet in the quiet of the elevator. “just ask me. just ask me what’s bothering you. at this point, should we even beat around the bush with each other anymore?”

seungcheol opens his mouth, then decides against it. he shakes his head, sighing, before looking back at you. “i’m not ready to let go yet,” he murmurs.

your voice trembles as you try to keep your tears at bay. “cheol… why are you doing this? i mean, why are you doing this to yourself?! things haven’t been working out between us for months, and i– i was terrible to you! you should let me go, why can’t you just… leave me alone?”

seungcheol’s eyes widen, an almost crazed glint appearing behind them. “leave– leave you alone? are you fucking kidding me?” his voice rises in volume, as he takes a few steps closer. “i can’t leave you alone, because i gave you four years of my fucking life, yeah? and in those years i learned all there is to know about you. unless everything you’ve ever told me was just an act, i’ve learned how to tell when you’re lying, and i’ve learned how to tell when you’re struggling, and you know what? you’re doing both right now!”

your hands start shaking, frustration bubbling inside your chest. “i don’t need you looking out for me, alright? i can take care of myself! and i’m fine, for your information!”

“bullshit! you’re not fine, and you know why? because for three years, everything was perfectly fine with us, and then all of a sudden last year, something happened, yeah? i don’t know what exactly, because you won’t fucking tell me, but something happened that made you squeamish around me, distant, paranoid, and– and careless! you stopped caring about me, about us!”

“i didn’t stop caring!”  you croaked, your throat raw from holding back your tears. seungcheol’s eyes softened slightly at the sight of your tears finally let loose on your cheeks. “i just… i…”

seungcheol closes the last of the distance between you, standing right in front of you now. “Y/N… baby… if you’re in some sort of trouble, please… just tell me. there’s nothing you could say that could scare me or drive me away. i know you can take care of yourself, but you don’t have to! please, just… no more lies, please…”

your eyes meet his, the sincerity and love swimming in them bringing even more tears to your eyes. you could just tell him right now, let everything that’s been weighing down on you for the past year spill out all at once… but you can’t. you would never forgive yourself to come in between seungcheol and his work, his dreams… your burdens couldn’t be his burdens. you just can’t allow it.

“cheol… i ca–”

“okay, i need you to take five steps away from her, or i will physically remove you, hyung. no matter that you are older and stronger than me,” comes a voice from your right. in your fight-induced stupor, neither you nor seungcheol had realized that the elevator had reached the ground floor, the doors opening to reveal one of your favorite people on earth.

thank god for boo seungkwan.

[chaos-chloe]

Drunk ban appeals?

Summary: drunk ban appeals, what more can I say

Tw: Established relationship, cursing, alcohol, lmk if missed anything

“ALRIGHT CHAT, we are doing “drunk” ban appeal today!” Pezzy introduced “Imma sip on this thing, and when it gets racist or-uh there’s any bigotry or like anything that’s like messed up. Like stuff like that; I'll take a shot of this.” Pezzy informed chat

“We do have 55 ban appeals, we do have a lot of them.” He moaned out, “We are going to start at the oldest one because these people have been waiting forever.”

“OOoh a snitch, yeah no deny, bye bitch.” Pezzy said starting with a loser chat.

“OP-ew, why would you make that joke? Was he referencing something? I feel like this person would have told us what he was referencing?” “Yeah no, bye.” Pezzy denied 

“OOO guys we have a __ ban. No, why was this person banned?” Pezzy asked looking deeper into the situation 

“Uh, __ are you here in chat? Or are you home?” Pezzy asked while his eyes shuffled through chat.

Mod2: Mod comment?

Mod1:OO this guy, was weird in Droids

userhub-2:Pezzy look at older messages from him! Wth

Mod3: Oo YEAH, old messages weirdage

__users: YEAH NO KEEP HIM BANNED PLS

“Babe there you are, yeah no keep him ban-” “Check mod comment, okay.” Pezzy started reading older messenger

“EW WHY ARE SAYING THAT TO __! YEAH BYE NOOPE!” Pezzy denied

“Wait, that's a shot. Ugh okay” Pezzy poured and took the shot like a champion. 

“Thanks babe, by the way you didn't answer me, are you home?’ Pezzy repeated

__users: almost, grabbing a slushie and some more alcohol for ya why?

“Chat, stop chatting for a second. I'm trying to read- almost- oo thanks to whoever pinned it.” Pezzy expressed his appreciation .

“Wanna join me when you get home?” Pezzy asked “Girl why is it taking forever for you to respond?”

__users: Uhh yeah, sorry had to think if i worked tomorrow morning 

__users:BOY i had to check my schedule also i was paying for our shit!

mod5:Tell em

userchat:Ooo pezzy gonna be in trob

“Chat behaves, I'm joking around with her; she knows this.” Pezzy scolded 

“Now, Moving onto the next stupid person.”

When you arrive, the atmosphere is chaotic and hilarious. Pezzy is in front of a computer with a shot glass in one hand and a bottle of soju in the other, trying to pour another shot because of a ban appeal being racist. “You should see these __! Half of these chatters are begging to be unbanned for the most stupid reasons!”

You lean over the keyboard, trying to focus on the screen, but Pezzy’s giggles are contagious. “Look at this one! ‘I was just testing my spam skills for fun!’ Who even says that?” 

You both dissolve into laughter, occasionally spilling a drink as you read through the increasingly absurd excuses. “Oh, this one’s even better,” you say, barely able to control your giggles. “‘I didn’t mean to spam; I thought it was a secret squad ritual!’” 

As the night goes on, the two of you descend deeper into silliness, sharing stories of all the ridiculous bans you’ve handed out. You start creating outrageous appeals for jokes, filling the screen with wild tirades about cat photos and conspiracy theories. “To unban me is to embrace the feline overlords!” Pezzy declares dramatically.

“Mew-sic to my ears,” you chime in, and the two of you erupt in a fit of laughter again. 

Time slips away as the ban appeals become an excuse for a ridiculous comedy show. You can hardly remember who you banned, and the lines between valid appeals and imaginative tales blur delightfully. 

By the time you look at the clock, its way past midnight, and you both realize you’ve completely failed at the task. But neither of you cares; the joy of laughing together over silly nonsense is far more rewarding than any ban appeal process.

[transparent-peach]

bad days

School started like three weeks ago and i got into a flap. I have lot to do but i overly enjoy writing (it’s a safe place for me) so there is some comforting stuff to all my anxious and a bit lost human beings. Lots of love to you all. Hope ypu are doing well!

It’s a bit messed up i know. It is past midnight and i have to wake up at 5 a.m. Yeah, school sucks. :D

I'm here for y'all!🩷

First-person singular

James McAvoy x Reader

speak no evil era

words: 1066

————

I have a lot to do. If my head wasn't attached to my body i would lost it too in the mess of life i am having lately.

James is out there, pretending he's alright and smiling like there is no problem in this world. At least he is okay with his own life, his new movie just came out and he's happy he is busy again with these things. He loves the vibrant type of life and he enjoys every moment of the spotlight.

It's been like a month since we last acted like a couple because of the movie. The interviews, the talk shows. I had enough of them, and i was beyond proud of him, i was more excited than ever but i missed him. I missed our late night talking and our secret dates out there and the bunch of other things that a normal loving couple would do.

He came home late at night. It was a messy tuesday night and i had enough. I was exhausted and i felt like i could cry for eighteen hours straight. Everything was messed up, i had to face the fact that nothing is working out like the way i would want to.

– Love, i'm home! – I heard his voice downstairs as he put down his keys.

– Hey! – I swallowed my tears. He came up to me. His eyes were bloody red from the tiredness. He was quite weak and all he did was sit on the bed next to me. I sighed as i put my head onto his shoulder and i felt the rush of happiness mixed with dreariness inside of my chest.

A few drops of tears came out of my eyes and i couldn't help but hugged his arm like a little girl. I was shaking from anxiety.

– What is wrong, love? – His voice filled with surprise, more like a caring tone.

– I... – My voice cracked like a broken glass and i gasped for air. My lungs were filled with air but i couldn't breathe. I was afraid to admit that i had been in such a bad situation.

– Fuck, darling. Why are you crying? What's wrong? What happened? – He scooped up my cheeks as he turned to me.

– I feel so alone. I feel like a failure and i... – He listened carefully. He looked deeply into my eyes and he was concerned about my feelings.

– Yes, i am here. Please, continue!

– I miss you and i know i can't make you stay here when you have a lot of things going on. More valuable things than anything that i do but i... I am nearly 30 and you are doing so fine at fourty-something and i am feeling miserable...

He almost chuckled at my last sentence. I didn't even know what was happening in my head. I was just piffle around. I had so many information in my head. They all wanted to come out all in one.

– Y/N, don't. You have a lot to do too, just because you are not in this industry it doesn't mean you are not as important as any other working person. As any other person. – He took a deep breath. He caressed my cheeks with his thumb and moved closer towards me. – You are a woman. You have been through hell and back. You are the most amazing, strong, hardworking, caring woman i've ever met. Don't underestimate yourself. You are more than enough.

– Okay, but...

– No, no, no. Not a single "but". Come here.

He opened his arms and hugged me.

– I love you. – I whispered into the nothingness. My heartbeat slowly dropped down to normal, and i felt the cosy warmth in my body.

– I love you too, darling. – He placed a kiss on my head. His hug tightened around me. I felt his presence. I was finally able to feel him again. I was more than relaxed and relieved. I was listening to his heartbeat as we laid down. We were still cuddling as he placed a blanket on our tired bodies.

– I would enjoy a nice breakfast tomorrow. At our favourite place. I hope you would like it too. – He put his hand on my back and he caressed my lower back. He said those things with a nice low tone.

– I'd love that. – I was trying to hide my excitement.

– Okay love. We should get a good sleep before that. – He whispered into my ears and gave me a long kiss before i could say anything.

The morning after i got up with such an enthusiastic smile. I tapped his side of the bed and i felt terrible again when i found out he was missing.

– Oh god... – I mumbled to myself.

I heard a big clashing noise coming from the kitchen downstairs. I felt some kind of relief and places my head back on the pillow.

He opened the door with his leg, and i noticed a cup of coffee in his hand.

– I know, we are heading out for breakfast but i also know you wouldn't leave the house without one. – He talked like he is a genius and handed me the mug.

– Thank you! – I smiled in joy as i smelled the double espresso.

– Your bad habit, ma'am. How could i forget. – He placed a cigarette inside my mouth and lighted for me. I couldn’t help but smile as he put the lighter into his pocket.

– What a gentleman. – I laughed at his words and i put the cigarette down in the ashtray as i sipped my coffee. His admiration was so strong that i could sense it from miles. His eyes were sparkling and he let out a kind chuckle. He sat down on the couch and watched me enjoying my first "meal" of the day.

– You know i will always be here for you, love.

His comforting presence gave me a wholesome feeling. His words were pure and genuine as he looked deeply into my eyes.

– I know. I will always be there for you too.

[taikk0]

PART 1 OF TAIKKO HATES HIS SENIOR ART COURSE AND WANTS TO RANT ABOUT IT ON TUMBLR <3

Hey guys, you may have noticed how art and animations have recently been slowing down. So I'm gonna vent out my frustrations for a lil bit to explain why because I need the world to know that there is hate in my heart :D

Outside of my HOUSE LEAKING causing major disruptions to my workflow both for personal and academic work,

Lately I've been going through insane crunch in order to meet my deadlines lately. This October has been very busy, I have the spreadsheet to prove it.

and I don't care if some terms on here reveals what school I go to, I think I deserve to make it fucking obvious with how poor this institution is. and personally, I don't think they're gonna file for defamation on some random 17 year old on Tumblr. If you know, you know.

See 👆 I got so busy I had to put cleaning my unkept room in the schedule because I was neglecting it so bad with how much work I had to do this month. 💀

My personal life away from academics is very busy, I'm often helping my family with our local business away from my computer. Which becomes a PROBLEM when time itself is a luxury I don't have very often. I don't always have the time to do my schoolwork when I come home, I don't always have the time to make art. So, in turn, I crunch at midnight. Adding commissions on top of that to help rack in extra money for personal expenses, to help support my family, and for any possible emergency expenses. It's a lot to handle.

This problem is then made even worse by how PERMANENTLY DAMAGING the pandemic was. I am a firm believer that if the pandemic never happened, schools wouldn't have switched to this shitty method of administering schoolwork. Not everyone comes home from school and immediately checks the schools shitty half assed broken website to do MORE schoolwork after they have already left school premises. I'm not the only person with this problem, TONS of other students have missed so many assigned tasks. So much so that the teacher announcing missing schoolwork to whichever student in front of the class and reminding everyone of their missing work is standard practice.

I don't want to come off as a petty student who wants all my work handed to me, but I really think that nowadays not many teachers put in the effort to make sure to announce projects for the class anymore.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT. our art teacher is such a bundle of joy (LYING) she is so professional (INCORRECT BUZZER) and establishes boundaries between her and her students (RED ALARM SOUND) and is such a talented and proficient artist that I'm glad she became our art teacher (FIRE AND SCREAMING SOUND EFFECTS) and she knows how to teach her students well (SKIN PEELING OFF AS WE SPEAK) and is very considerate of production pipelines (FULL AUTO RIFLE AND HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

I don't like her.

She has done. A lot of questionable stuff, y'now, just as a person, but right now I wanna talk about her as a teacher.

SHE IS NOT GOOD AT IT.

Now I don't mean she doesn't explain things well or her methods are convoluted, I mean SHE DOES NOT DO HER JOB AT ALL.

She quite literally almost every time; either meets us in the classroom and says she has a meeting to go to and leaves us with no assigned task, or, she actually does stay in the classroom,

but doesn't teach us at all.

Hell, she makes the STUDENTS teach, not even in a report kind of way she just tells that student to sit in front with her, she shows them the presentation she was supposed to discuss, and makes THE STUDENT DISCUSS THE LESSON TO THEIR PEERS INSTEAD.

And even then there is a secret third option. She stays, and assigns us work.

However.

The work is a practical application of a lesson she did not teach the class.

For example, "Your assignment for today is to animate a pendulum swinging left to right on this program!"

Two problems.

None of the students are knowledgeable in the program because she never even tried to learn it in order to teach us.

She never taught us the animation principles.

The pendulum assignment requires knowledge of ease-ins and ease-outs, as well as the use of arcs and possibly timing charts.

My peers knew none of that in order to perform the task effectively.

Our teacher response to that? is to be so unfairly critical. The only reason why her students are failing, is because of her. She fails students for not making an appealing animation BECAUSE she never taught them how to in the first place.

Her grading is very biased and rooted in personal preference rather than a solid understanding of the principles, not even adding notes on what to improve upon.

I GOT A 100% ON AN ANIMATION EXAM, WITH THE SHITTIEST OUTPUT EVER. Like, If i actually went to art school and passed that as our exam, I would get such a low score.

We were told to animate a 10 second clip, no other instructions. Here was my output

THIS DID NOT DESERVE A 100%. it was rushed and I cut a lot of corners in order for it to be done on time. Just the fact that she considered this to have no flaws or room for improvement is telling. I know I should be thankful for a perfect score, but essentially saying that THIS is good enough shows that she has no idea what she's doing and I'm afraid that most likely I am going to walk away from senior high with no new information and being bombarded with skills I didn't learn beforehand when I'm in college.

In an art school I know what I'm signing up for, I want that crunch and that pressure to improve to be WARRANTED. I don't feel that drive to make artwork and animations (for academics) that I am proud of and want to put effort into for a passing grade. Instead I am simply doing the bare minimum with very little time to do so, so I just end up making shitty work that is "good enough" because the environment is made so mediocre by our art teacher.

You know what's more?

SHE IS NOT AN ART MAJOR.

SHE MAJORED IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.

That is my rant for now. I'm thinking of doing three more entries. talking about how shitty the school is in of itself with very poor management as a PRIVATE SCHOOL, our art teacher is a WHOLE can of worms, and our current thesis film.

Right now I just want to focus on finishing all my commissions and then I can focus solely on rough animation on my student film. 👍 I currently have like, four fully rendered pieces lololol

[arsenicflame]

or: 11 songs about divorce & 1 song about having a glove kink (while your marriage is falling apart)

(lyric snippets & audios below the cut)

5 Years Into Marriage - Matt Owens & Hannah White

5 years into marriage And it's looking like we're almost done. I love you, I'm just not in love with you any more (no, no, no) Both floated down the aisle, Started taking each other for granted somewhere between- The pulpit and those church doors. Confetti kissed your face, And I trod it right into the floor. We can stick it out another ten years, and we probably will.

Barricade - Stars

I found you on a Saturday, and that was where I lost you You had to finally walk away because of what it cost you Years later on, I saw your face In line to catch the morning train You looked like you'd been softened Like you never really loved the pain

I Don't Want Love - The Antlers

If I leave before you, And I walk out alone, Keep your hands to yourself When you follow me home.

If You Love Me, You Will Lie - Out lines

And shouting through the bathroom door You said that I was keeping score Why can't we accept that there's no more We never say goodbye

It's Beginning To Get To Me - Snow Patrol

I tried to tell you before I left But I was screamin' under my breath You are the only thing that makes sense Just ignore all this present tense

Midnight Love - Girl In Red

I hope that the right time one day arrives So, I'll be willing to let this die Able to look you right in the eyes Say I'm not your consolation prize

Mothers - Daughter

You will grow all you need to grow inside my spine And then take what you need to take, what's yours is mine And then just give all you want of it to some new thing I'll stay here, the provider of that constant sting they call love

Nothing New - Rio Romeo

So, won't you please spare me indignity? And won't you please give me some decency? And won't you please call it if our time is through? 'Cause I know that we fall apart when nothing's new

Sometimes I Still Feel the Bruise - The Mountain Goats

Making contact gets harder As the silence grows longer Why would you think of me? When you were not the one in love When you were not the dreamer When you were just the dream I'm under no illusion As to what I meant to you But you made an impression And sometimes I still feel the bruise

Splinter - Scott Hutchison & James Graham

‘Cause I always took the cutting, And you only missed my heart Although it amounts to nothing, The nothing’s left it’s mark

The Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit

Well, I crippled your heart a hundred times And still can't work out why You see, I've got this disease I can't shake and I'm just rattling through life Well, this is how we do things now Yeah, this is how the modern stay scared So I cut out all the good stuff Yeah, I cut off my foot to spite my leg

Wedding Gloves - Frightened Rabbit FT. Aiden Moffat

Do you even remember What we said in the vows? God was watching on Saturday But He is not with us now, with us now

[rezcowgirl]

I have so much work to do, but I'm going to leave it until the very bitter end like I usually do. Because why would I do otherwise?

Been feeling melancholy. It's not about the tree. It's kind of about the tree. There's other stuff. Don't feel like hashing any of it out. I have no choice - I have to get through it.

There's also good stuff.

1. Aries was hovering around looking sketchy and sniggering to himself while I was working. I was like "can you please LEAVE??". He did. Later, I found he shoved some very large chocolate hedgehogs into a bookshelf for me to find. He clarified his reason for purchase as: "You like little things, you like big things." I do. I really, really do. Teacup for scale.

I always coo over the wee chocolate hedgehogs at the shop. They're so CUTE. When I opened the big ones, I almost cried. He said the woman who sold him the box of giant hedgehogs said "we don't sell many of these". He replied "My partner likes very specific things...these are perfect".

Our 9 year anniversary is this month.

2. Illegal boozy Spring Welcoming picnic in the park with my best friends. We poured our drinks into the Jiji cups to be nondescript. Ali didn't get so drunk she couldn't get home on time this round. Last time, she left the drinks up to Aries and she had to miss a date with her partner because they both overshot how much whiskey she could handle...

3. On that note, I'll be back on my Treaty 4 home territories next week!!!! It was a trip I purchased for Aries for Christmas because he was missing his friends a lot. We have friends here, but these are friends he's had forever.

We'll be there over his birthday, and...most of his friends are also Aries. How? HOW? I have an invite sitting in my inbox that is "Aries Baby Party". Listen. Listen. I LOVE these people (most of 'em) but I AM NOT looking forward to being around a stable of raucous, likely multi-substance-impared Aries. I am expecting to be in bed by midnight. I'm going to call my mom to come get me, "Mom, I'm scared" style.

(My) Aries was like "It's fine. We'll get you drunk, you cry, and we send you home on the bus. I'll catch you later." Yeah, yeah. I am absolutely going to need to be drunk.

I am so looking forward to just not using my brain, watching Sailor Moon with ayecaptain, eating all the food I can't get here, and listening to my parents bicker (they are hilarious).

4. This fucking cat. He kills me.

5. My outfit for synth wave/dark wave night. I am so pumped. I am going to be so tired because I am vending at a toy sale all weekend, but I am determined to go. At least for a few hours.

[kaythetrashcan]

Five nights at Freddy's movie review

Spoiler free version:

I finally saw the FNaF movie (since it premiered here like a week later) and I really wanna talk about it.

It was fun. It's its own story that has some similarities to the games but it works well on its own which is a good thing imo.

It has a good pacing and I didn't get bored.

There are bunch of hints and easter eggs in reference to the games, like a guy is wearing a Midnight Motorist sweater or a dinner is named after Sparky the Dog, a hoax in early fnaf days.

It has violence but it's not too gory, most stuff happens off screen or in shadows.

I also liked the final solution, it was well established.

I do have 2 complains

1. I think most relationships needed more establishment.

2. One character kinda confuses me on their motive.

Overall I'd give it 4/5, though you'll get more of it if you're a fnaf fan.

And some tips. Watch it at home if you can or pick a later date. The movie theater was crowded and I think it hindered my enjoyment.

When you see Sparky's diner, pay attention to the waiter. You won't regret it.

And wait till the end of all credits.

Spoiler review under the cut

I think Mike and Abby needed a bit more time together or thinking of each other to make the scene where Mike realizes how much she means to him more impactful.

I feel like we were told rather shown she likes her brother.

Same goes for relationship between her and aunt Jane. We're told once she doesn't like her but it isn't enough to make her turn on Mike believable to me.

And finally Vanessa and William. The ending implies she's scared of him but we never are shown why.

This segways nicely into my other complain. Vanessa feels inconsistent. She starts out as a friendly police officer who knows tad too much about Freddy's and is revealed to be William's daughter.

What I got is that she vaguely warns the guards of the danger but doesn't tell them what it is. When the animatronics are friendly, she just let's Mike and Abby vibe there but when she learns Mike used Abby to get info on Garrett's kidnapper (her dad) she forbids him from taking Abby there ever again. I'm guessing this is to protect her dad.

But I think we should have had a flashback to her childhood and maybe a scene where she's terrified of going to the pizzeria but the she sees a drawing of Mike and Abby a decides to help.

But enough about stuff I didn't like and more about stuff I loved, in no particular order.

Actors are all really great and they did a fantastic job.

The opening credits are in style of old arcade games, just like in fnaf 2. It genuinely made me so happy to see it.

The cupcake mauling a man was both hilarious and terrifying. You go Carl!

The animatronics are all really expressive, especially Chica, when she smuggly sends Carl the Cupcake to murder a man or when she winks at Mike. Or when Freddy was looking for Mike and tilting his head as if he were listening.

I almost missed MatPat's cameo. I was like: "I know that voice! But from where?" And then he said: "It's just a theory!" and I almost screamed.

I love that the kids have some significance. Even if they dont have names, they still have more to do than they ever did in the games.

Also, it's exactly 5 nights at Freddy's.

1 - Mike arrives and sees the Missing kids for the first time.

2 - Mike gets scratched by Foxy and Vannesa shows up to info dump.

3 - since Max is dead, Mike takes Abby there for the first time. He cleans up the place and Abby meets her friends.

4 - Mike takes Abby there a second time, Vannesa shows up, they build a Fort and Vannessa gets mad.

5 - Mike goes there alone and the movie finale happens.

I noticed the trailer was insanely misleading. Vanessa ends up in the hospital at the end of the movie, but the trailer made it seem it happens somewhere in the middle.

CoryXKenshin cameo was awesome.

The ending credits song is Five Nights at Freddy's by TLT. Woho!!!

And after all the credits roll, we get a few letters spelling out "FIND ME" like in SAVE HIM minigame from fnaf 2.

Theories:

I wonder what happened to Garrett. Is he fully dead? Or is he possessing something, like the puppet?

I hope the next movie is a prequel, maybe told retrospectively by Vanessa while some stuff happens in the present. And the third movie can be a sequel, maybe with older Abby being a guard herself.

[ilkkawhat]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

aw 🥺 thanks for sending this to me

Half Past Midnight: My first fic I wrote after a...idk how many years it was hiatus, right at the start of me falling back in love with CSI again and creating things for it; I took such a deep dive into Nick's head and part of what I did in writing this was watching only Nick's parts on a loop, in the dark, with headphones on and I distinctly remember a point where it really got to me and I gasped for air and spooked my dog (don't worry he was okay just startled lol) It was also the first fic I started playing around and including my own headcanons in there

Last Breath: I just...have a lot of good memories from writing this fic. It was probably the most interactive, like I would go so far as to say it was almost even like a collaboration because so many people pitched ideas (the idea for the fic as a whole was straight up handed to me on a silver platter) and made the fic better for it, and I also really got to know my Stokes children OCs in doing this fic--I did do a handful of fics for them before this, but I feel like I really hammered down who they were and it won't be the last fic on this list but I do also have the sequel (First Flight) to use as a chance to cover things I missed in the first one and explore more universe altering headcanons. It was also my first like, longer fic at around 64k word count wise, and right now my longest completed fic lol

Atrophy: I swear this list I'm just going off of fics that I have distinct memories of attachment to; this one I started writing on my way to a wedding and brought back an OC I created back when I was a teenager. After the wedding I had to go to this university for a class paid for by my job and I spent the car rides there and back brainstorming, and even writing in between classes (and if I recall...even during class at some points shh.) Its sequel Agony is uh, giving me some challenges and I regret a lot of things like maybe pushing it out so fast and then losing steam and wishing I did some things different/toned it down, but Atrophy I still feel mostly good about (though man imagine if I went as hard on it as I am with Agony as long and drawn out as it is lol) and the ficverse as a whole is definitely a favorite of mine

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Surprise, another Grave Danger fic. I wrote this during a pretty rough time and just remember being proud of myself for doing it, and wrote it all within a week and the ideas and words just kept...flowing. It felt like I was truly in my element when I wrote it and helped me remember why I love writing so much.

Specimen Stokes: God I know this fic also went off the rails like Agony did where I worry it became like...too much and should have held back a little (no pun intended) but I will never forget the day I ran out of work to go start writing a one shot in response to an anon who I don't even think technically asked for it as a fic, it was like "choose between these scenarios" and as I started to think about it I just...couldn't help myself. Like Atrophy I have sequels in mind and all sorts of things I want to do and I swear I actually have the rest of this fic installment planned out it's just...writing it lol. And taking the plunge into making it sci-fi and twisting the characters in the AU has been a blast and I feel like a great amount of my creativity has shown through in this fic, the edits and stuff I made for it, and the ideas I have coming up.

[lavender-creame]

hope you had a great holiday, whatever you celebrate! if you're feeling up to it, how about a couple quick headcanons about spending the holidays season with each of the guys? I just know those two make Christmas a blast

Thank you so much, I hope you had a fun holiday too! This is such a fun idea, I just had to do it!

Holiday Season headcanons

Matt and Ryan Included

| Minors DNI | 18+ only |

1.2k words

Warnings: Just tooth rotting fluff and some kissing

a/n: Happy Holidays everyone! Sorry it took me a while to get to the last couple asks, but here they are, just in time for the New Year! Thank you all for the love and support as I'm working on the Ryan slow burn. You can also find my stuff on a03 at lavender_creame

Ryan Magee headcanons

Ryan likes a quiet Christmas, but there are traditions that he definitely likes to do every year

He loves going out to look at all the pretty lights, and he always goes out to the local growers to get a real tree

Ryan is absolutely awful at decorating the tree, he just doesn’t understand the concept of where to put certain ornaments, but he loves doing it, nevertheless

He loves putting on Christmas music and making cookies and hot chocolate for when you two are decorating the house or apartment

He always puts up a piece of mistletoe in the most ‘easily accessible’ places and makes sure to point is out and kiss you every single time you guys walk under it

“Babe, I know it’s the third time today, but it’s Christmas tradition, we have to”

On Christmas morning, Ryan is up super early making you breakfast and placing the gifts under the tree (he insists on doing it the morning of so you can have the Christmas magic of waking up to presents that weren’t there the night before lol)

Ryan loves giving gifts, but prepare for the wrapping to be atrociously bad

Ryan keeps a list on his phone in the Notes app throughout the year of every little thing you mention you like or might want and he gets them all for you on Christmas

As much as Ryan loves Christmas, he can’t stand how many events he has to go to

Ryan ‘Always Fashionably Late Only to Later Take a French Leave’ Magee

Basically, Ryan isn’t the biggest party guy lol

If it’s a big party, chances are he’s going to be standing against the wall with a beer, talking to you, and you alone

The only parties that he actually wants to be at are ones that are smaller and pretty much only have people he’s close with

At parties like these, you can usually find Ryan on the couch talking to the others, making jokes, and telling stories

Ryan’s idea of a perfect holiday party is watching Matt and everyone else get absolutely plastered and making a fool out of themselves, as you snuggle up next to him on the couch, giggling at them

The good news is, you’re having a great time, the bad news is you’re having such a great time that you want to join the idiots like Matt who are dancing

Inevitably, you end up dragging Ryan onto the dance floor, and although he’s hesitant at first, you totally convince him to dance with you

Once you’ve had your fun though, he’s itching to get out of there

As for New Years Eve, Ryan refuses to go out to a party and instead spends the night pampering you

“We have to end the year on a good note, right?”

Sometimes you guys go out to a nice restaurant, other years, you guys just order an insane amount of take-out and watch a movie

Unfortunately, that much food almost always means a food coma

You guys somehow manage to fall asleep on the couch during the movie and wake up at like 3 in the morning, missing midnight literally every time

Like it's basically tradition at this point

When you guys finally wake up, Ryan apologies (even though it happens every year) and kisses you before carrying you to your shared bed so you can fall asleep more comfortably

Matt Watson headcanons

Matt LOVES Christmas

Every year, you guys take a trip for a weekend to somewhere it snows so he can take you sledding and make snowmen and all that cheesy stuff

When it comes to decorations though, Matt is lazy as hell

You guys have a fake tree, but he always puts off putting it up because he doesn’t feel like dragging it out of storage

One day, he tries to surprise you by having the whole house decorated by the time you get home from work, but he totally underestimates how long it would take and you walk in on him pathetically trying to hang up wreaths

“Shit. Babe. You’re already home? What time is it? Oh my god, I’ve been doing this for four hours and I’m only like a quarter of the way done??”

You definitely end up having to help him, but you don’t mind lol

It’s more fun together anyways

Matt’s favorite part of the holiday season is definitely the parties

Hopefully you like parties too, because he plans on dragging you to all of them

And there are a lot of them

Matt insists on calling you his ‘trophy wife’ and shows you off to everyone (even if you guys just recently started dating)

Even when his friends tease him for ‘being a huge simp’ he doesn’t care and only makes it an even bigger point to brag about you

One time at a party, he got absolutely wasted and started a fight with a dude who was mocking him for showing you off

“Okay yeah bro, say whatever you want, but is your girlfriend the hottest in the room? Yeah exactly, that’s what I thought.”

Needless to say, he walked out of the party with a black eye, but at least you know he’s genuine when he says that you’re ‘the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid his eyes on’

Matt somehow always manages to forget whatever side or desert he was planning on bringing to the party so you guys have to turn around half way there

If you like drinking, then you two are definitely getting wasted together

If not, then be prepared to babysit your stupid, drunken boyfriend

Matt is an awful dancer

Absolutely awful

But he still never turns down a chance to show off his ‘moves’

You bet that he’s pulling you over to dance with him too

Do you guys look like idiots?

Yes.

But you’re idiots together!!

Matt swears on lowkey matching outfits

By all means, they aren’t obnoxiously matching, but they definitely match

You’re at a Christmas party? You have ugly sweaters that either match, or go together in some way

It’s Christmas morning? You guys have matching couples pajamas

Speaking of Christmas morning, Matt gets literally so many gifts for you

He couldn’t chose a normal amount, so he just got you everything he thought you might like

This heap of presents also consists of joke presents though

Signed art by Chris Chan? Of course. A weird ass t-Shirt he found while thrifting? You betcha. Supermega merch? You already know it.

The only holiday Matt likes even close to as much as Christmas is New Years Eve

First, you guys spend the day out, then you guys go out to lunch, then Matt always has some kind of special date planned, then you guys go out to dinner, and lastly you guys finish the night at another party

Of course Matt kisses you at midnight

He makes a huge deal out of it too

He makes sure to do it where everyone can see it and he always says something gross and cheesy too

“This must be the best year of my life yet, because I just started it by kissing a total babe”

Then he kisses you again

And again

And again

Then you gotta stop him or he’ll just keep going with the PDA lol

[banditllamas]

Chismest Dialogue (Part 1)

Chapter 4 has a lot of missable dialogue. I'm mostly brainrotting over Elara but if people are interested I can try making a schedule for everyone in Chismest. For now, heres a bunch of dialogue from and concerning Elara. (I have many screenshots so I've only put snippets in, the full conversations are typed up below.)

You can catch Elara as shes walking to and from Beth's diner. Before entering:

You can pester her while shes walking to the diner.

“Hi, sorry…” “I can’t talk right now…” “I’m…” “Starving…” “I must be at the diner right away…”

If you keep trying to talk to her she will ignore you then repeat herself.

"..."

"Please excuse me…" "I'm going to the diner." After leaving:

As she's leaving you can also pester her. This dialogue plays out much like the previous one.

“Hi, sorry.” “I can’t talk right now…” “I need…” “To get back to my research…” “But, if you want to talk,” “Find me in the diner between midnight and 5AM.”

“...” “I have important research to conduct now.” “Find me in the diner after midnight.”

Questioning:

I'm sure most people know about this, but if you're like me you immediately agreed to help Elara and missed all the stuff she had to say when questioned.

(Included Bard's prompts for context.)

Bard: “A cohort?” Elara: “Uhm… An accomplice.” Bard: “Why an accomplice?” Elara: “I can explain if you’re interested in doing it.” Bard: “Why should I?” Elara: “Hmmm.” Elara: “Maybe you shouldn’t. It could be dangerous.” Bard: “Sounds like a bad idea.” Elara: “I’m acting in the best interest of the town.” Elara: “Danger sometimes is an unfortunate necessity.” Bard: “How dangerous?” Elara: “OK, not really very dangerous.” Elara: “I was trying to make it sound exciting.” Bard: “Oh?” Elara: “All we really need are people on the inside.” Bard: “Like secret agents???” Elara: “Yes, just like that.” Bard: “Secret agents are exciting!” Elara: “Hmm. I suppose they are.” Bard: “But where do we find them?” Elara: “Well, that's the thing,” Elara: “I need someone to help me find them.” Bard: “How do you find secret agents?” Elara: “We’d need to focus our search on certain individuals.” Elara: “I.e. People who are awake during the day but unemployed.” Bard: “Perfect recruits…”

She also has a different response if you agree at any point where she mentions danger.

"Whoah." "Seems reverse psychology works, after all."

If you accept at any other point she will simply say "Excellent." then continue as normal.

Recruit intelligence:

She has two hints for winston; theres the standard one:

“There’s a man who is constantly crying around the town during the day.” “He seems to have no direction in life…” “So he would probably be willing to help us.” “Find out what he wants.” And one for if you help him out before meeting her:

“Have you seen the man who used to always cry around town?” “He has a dog now…” “He seems emotionally susceptible…” “Seek him out.” Peter only gets one tip cause he's always sad even if you help him beforehand:

“There's a sad man who plays music from a rooftop at all hours.” “Since he’s so sad and hopeless,” “He almost certainly could be convinced to help us.” She also has a tip for recruiting Mirriam. This happens if you fail to find Mirriam by the time you've recruited Winston:

“There’s a girl standing in the field outside town.” “I pass her every night on my way to and from here.” “I don’t believe she’s from here…” “But, maybe she could be an ally.”

On the flipside, if you completely ignore Elara and go to Mirriam first (+ attempt the overseer song) She will give you hints on finding Elara.

Mirriam hints:

“Apparently there's an astronomer outside of town.” “They have a big telescope.” “Who knows what kinda stuff they know, right?”

“Nobody knows much about the astronomer.” “They just research stuff at their telescope all day.” “But… they have to eat sometime, right?”

“Sounds hokey, but grandma Saphy always said…” “Look to the stars for answers…” “That’s what makes me think the astronomer might know something.”

Part 2 here.

[pastafossa]

Hey! I love to listen to music that fits a theme when I’m reading, and I’ve put together a small Red Thread playlist, including the songs you’ve mentioned in notes and stuff, I was wondering if there’s any other songs that remind you of The Red Thread, and would you mind sharing them? I don’t mind a t o n of songs too, the more the merrier!!!

Oh I totally get that, I almost always have music I'm listening to that fits the theme when I'm either writing or reading! There's just something about it that puts you in a perfect mood, and sometimes I'm even looping a single song for a specific chapter, again either reading or writing it.

I actually have an entire TRT playlist on spotify if you're looking for everything I have for TRT! At this point it's about half me and half recommended songs by readers. There ARE however some standouts that I quite like that haven't mentioned in the fic I don't think. I'll ⭐ the one that I remember coming from readers! A song for the Hound of Los Angeles: Stay Alive by Hidden Citizens

I do what I need to What I have to Well, you can try To be civilized But I'm gonna stay alive

A song for the Devil and the Hound (and one of my favorites for them): Woke Up A Rebel by Reuben and the Dark

I am wild, I am lost I am sick, I am damned But I am holding redemption in the palm of my hand

A song for Matt: Death of Me by Saint Phnx

I feel it in my bones The devil's at my door So help me This will be the death of me

A song for Jane and Matt early on: War of Hearts (Acoustic) by Ruelle ⭐

I can't help but love you Even though I try not to I can't help but want you I know that I'd die without you

A song for Jane to Matt during our 'I'm hiding my secrets from Matt' arc but also works as a general song for Jane: Neptune by Sleeping at Last

Thread by thread, I come apart If brokenness is a work of art Surely this must be my masterpiece I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how

Another powerful song by the same artist (I literally have an entire playlist just by this artist since so many fit, with special notes paid to the enneagram songs) for both Matt and Jane that encompasses both their childhoods: Eight by Sleeping at Last

Here I am, pry me open What do you want to know? I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough To hold the door shut And bury my innocence But here's a map, here's a shovel Here's my Achilles' heel

A song for Jane early on: all of the midnights album Dear Reader by Taylor Swift⭐

Dear reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets Dear reader, when you aim at the devil Make sure you don't miss

A song for Matt to Jane: It Will Come Back by Hozier⭐

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

A song from Jane to Matt: With You Til The End by Sam Tinnesz, Tommee Profitt ⭐

When your fears are not fading And there's parts of you breaking I'll hold the pieces all together with my hands Though the night feels lonely I won't leave you behind me Deep inside I know I can't

Each of those are on the playlist along with a lot of other good songs. I've started to wander through some other TRT playlists on Spotify too when I have the time, and there's some awesome songs on them, so if you're looking for even more after this, I highly recommend giving those a look, too!

[bbq-hawks-wings]

I'm back.

Hey guys, long time no see. It's been a while since I've really put any particular effort into this blog, but I think it's time I finally get back to it.

I don't know how often I can or will end up posting, but I intend to make it a much more regular thing as well as diversify the topics I talk about in the future. The past couple of years I've been doing almost nothing but absorbing information, and I feel it's time for me - as just Some Guy on the internet - to try to process and vomit it back out into something at least kind of coherent instead of it just stewing in my head until it goes stale. Maybe at least I'll be a little less stir-crazy. lol

I'd like to post more of my personal art and projects if for nothing else but for fun, too. Eventually, I'd like to talk about lots of other stuff like my meditations on philosophy, science, religion, and crafting/manufacturing, among the usual media analysis and AMA I've done before. Other works I have in mind to talk about at some point include:

The Amazing Digital Circus

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Poppy Playtime

Veggietales

FMA: Brotherhood

Watership Down

...as well as whatever else captures my fancy as time goes on.

If you have questions or anything else to say, my inbox is open; and I'll be back to posting regularly soon.

I missed you guys. TTYS