#there's only been one time i encountered a blog and didn't know why they had me blocked. others? yes. but this one was a mutual in law

[cypionate60mg]

I hope this is too heavy but I had plans to detransition then commit suicide because of how poorly my trans friends (who are mostly fem and nb) were treating me, making comments on how T made me uglier and they no longer felt comfortable around me since I transitioned. With this going on for years and seeing the uptick in hate towards trans masculine people with similar rhetoric I felt like it was a waste of my life and I would never be able to “fix how disgusting I made myself” but seeing your blog actually legitimately saved me because it reminded me that we are still wanted and desirable to people. Thank you so much.

I'd like to tell you about somebody very important to me, anon. His name was Earl, and it's been nearly ten years since he passed away.

I used to see Earl every winter, just visiting his side of the family. He was older than me by more than a decade, but we had a special kinship. Something I was too young to articulate or even notice.

We usually sat in the snow by a hodag statue while we caught up. For context, the hodag was a hoax cryptid invented by a timberman in the 1800s. Rows of horns, some scales, coarse hair, short legs. Like a half-reptilian minotaur. Not only was it apparently really fucking ugly, but it also smelled like a musky corpse.

The first reported encounter with the hodag ended with its defeat by dynamite. In some versions of its lore, the hodag was a reincarnation of abused livestock. In others, it was meek and melancholy, wanting only to live in the woods, undisturbed.

The last time I saw Earl, he was very withdrawn. We sat for a while in front of that statue, just silently basking in its monstrous disfigurement. I think we watched Napoleon Dynamite afterward. I remember feeling comforted that he could at least laugh, but maybe it was nothing more than a reflex at that point.

He died by suicide not long after. He didn't say anything about who he really was, just that he couldn't bear it any longer. For so long, I was unable to explain what it was that we had shared. Me and him. Him and the hodag. Me and the hodag. All three of us.

I didn't learn that he wanted to be called Earl until years later, when my grandma mentioned it off-handedly. She was the only person he ever came out to, and she told me after I came out to her. As far as I know, Earl never even considered HRT. He was afraid of what it would turn him into. That's why he tried to become nothing at all.

But that's not really how it works. Once you've come into existence, there can never be a world without some trace of you in it. We are living on a post-you planet. You as in Earl, and you as in you. By making yourself known to me, you have invested part of your selfhood in the vast, interconnected matrix of the world. Good choice.

So in the same way that this blog is for people to outsource their tenuous selfhood and need to be desired, let this particular post be specifically for you. Our own personal hodag statue, maybe, where all ugliness and beauty cohabitate as one indistinguishable thing. Know that there is something for you here. A digital landmark you can visit in times of loneliness.

I love you, anon. I'll always want you here. You can message me privately if you ever want to talk.

[moo-siala]

I STILL LOVE YOU — MAX VERSTAPPEN

PAIRING: max verstappen x ex-wife fem!reader

SUMMARY: max’s ex wife finds out he’s getting married again

CONTENT: mentions of divorce, angst, sadness, cheating

NOTE: get ready to cry. i did while editing it + this is a repost from my old blog too but this one got slightly revised. some errors got fixed but it’s not 100% proof read.

As y/n sifted through the mail, she noticed a white envelope with "y/n verstappen" written in gold letters. frowning in confusion, she carefully opened it. the moment she saw the contents, she felt her heart shatter. it was a wedding invitation—specifically, an invitation to max’s wedding.

“max and eleanor request the pleasure of your company to celebrate their wedding” was written on the card in gold and black letters.

y/n felt her eyes water and closed the envelope. this could not be happening, she thought. but it’s not like her and max got divorced yesterday.

the divorce was due to his racing career. he wasn't as present as y/n and the children needed him to be, which led to constant arguments, fights, and tears until their marriage ultimately ended. this happened over three years ago, but she still couldn't understand how he had moved on so quickly. perhaps her difficulty in understanding stemmed from her own inability to move on.

she had tried everything, and by everything, she truly meant everything. she had met new people, gone on countless dates, and even ventured into the realm of online dating, hoping to find a connection that might help her move on. but nothing seemed to work. none of those men were him. some were good, hardworking, and loyal, but there was always something missing. each new encounter only served to highlight the void he had left in her life, the irreplaceable presence she couldn't seem to find in anyone else.

"mama, why are you crying?" a soft voice pulled her back to reality. "hey, i’m not crying, i just have an allergy," she chuckled, hugging leon, one of her seven-year-old twins. "julian and i are ready but he is helping emma with her bag," he smiled, hugging her back.

leon and julian were twins—practically mirror images of max. thet shared the same face, the same eyes, and the same cheeky smile that always managed to light up a room. meanwhile, emma was a carbon copy of her mother, with the exception of her blonde hair and blue eyes, inherited from her father.

the twins were only four years old when the divorce happened, and emma was just two. the process was far from easy, but both parents made a concerted effort to minimize the trauma for their children. they navigated the difficult path with as much grace and cooperation as possible, ensuring that their young ones felt loved and secure despite the upheaval. the priority was always the well-being of their children, and they did their best to shield them from the worst of the pain.

“mama! we’re ready!” julian and emma ran out of their rooms with bags in hand, “hey, be careful!” she laughed, “we’re ready!” julian exclaimed and emma giggled, “that’s good, oma will be here in no time” y/n hugged the children, or like max likes to call them, their cubs.

the doorbell rang, signaling sophie’s arrival.

about a week ago, sophie had asked if she could take the kids on a little trip to a lake she had visited with a friend near the city. after looking at the pictures, y/n couldn't say no. the children would love it, and she knew how much they enjoyed spending time with their grandma.

when she got pregnant, max suggested that it would be better to move back to the netherlands so the babies could be surrounded by family. she didn't hesitate and agreed with his proposal. while she loved Monaco, nothing could compare to having her family nearby.

when she looks back at those memories, she’s thankful that she chose to come back. she doesn’t know what could’ve been of her if she had to go through the divorce all alone in monaco.

she walked over and opened the door, smiling warmly. "hey!" she greeted, pulling sophie into a hug.

"how are you doing, sweetheart?" sophie asked, hugging her back as she stepped inside. y/n knew exactly what she meant. "i’m good," she replied softly, her smile gentle. sophie nodded, giving her a sympathetic look just as the three mini verstappens ran over to their grandma, hugging her legs and making her laugh.

"oma!" they exclaimed in unison. "who’s ready to go to the lake?" their oma asked, eyes sparkling. "me!" the cubs chorused excitedly.

they said their goodbyes as she helped sophie put the kids in the car.

“i’ll let you know when we get there” she told y/n, “sounds good, and send pictures, please” y/n smiled in return, “i will. and honey, if you need anything, just give me a call” she pulled her into a tight embrace, “i know, thank you, soph” “no problem”

—

ass the dedicated mother she was, or as max fondly referred to her, the lioness, y/n found herself feeling oddly restless whenever her children were away—simultaneously bored yet remarkably productive. with them gone, she efficiently organized weeks of work and meticulously cleaned the entire house. completing her chores left her with a sense of satisfaction, prompting a leisurely shower before descending to the kitchen to prepare a meal.

while deeply focused on cooking, the doorbell rang unexpectedly. perplexed, since she was only expecting sophie’s visit that day, she set the knife aside, quickly washed her hands, and hastened to answer the door.

“uh, hey?” she said opening the door, “hey, how are you?” max asked, “i’m good. your mom already left with the children so…” “i’m here to talk to you, can i come in?” he asked, “sure…” nodding, she opened the door a bit more for him to come in.

“are you busy?” he asked after you closed the door, “not really. just cooking” she walked back to the kitchen, max followed.

max sat in one of the stools as he watched her wash and chop some vegetables for the salad she was preparing.

“what did you come to talk about?” y/n looked up, his blue orbs finding her beautiful eyes, “i wanted to know if you got the…” “the wedding invitation? i got it today in the mail” she nodded, her tone coming out a bit dry even if she didn’t mean to sound that way.

“are you mad?” he asked, “why would i be? congrats, by the way” she said, adding her favorite vinaigrette to the salad, “don’t be like that…” he sighed, “like what? am i not supposed to congratulate you now?” her eyes found his once again.

“you know exactly what i mean, y/n” he said, “i don’t know what you mean and i’m not in the mood to fight. i’m tired and hungry, so can i please enjoy my salad?” she asked and he scoffed, “i can see it in your eyes, y/n. there’s something you’re not telling me and i want to know what’s going on” he sighed, “we’ve been divorced for almost three years, but remember we were married for four before that”

she felt her eyes water but quickly wiped the tears away.

“i’m okay, max” y/n said while grabbing a glass and pouring some juice in it, “you’re about to cry, tell me what’s going wrong, i want to help” he softly said, and that’s when she broke.

"i don't know max, maybe the fact that once again i'm the one who's going to be all alone?" her voice broke, "the fact i'm the only one who's going to come back to an empty home when the kids are spending time with you? or maybe it's the fact that for some reason i can't move on with my life but everyone else can! you did, why can't i?" by now, she were a crying mess.

move on? he never moved on. his family knew it, his friends knew it, everyone knew it, he knew it.

he was never able to move on from her, the love of his life—the woman who lifted him up when he was feeling down, who cried tears of pride after almost every race, the woman who showed him a new depth of love when he became a father, and the woman he lost because he messed up.

seeing her crying broke his heart, but it also gave him hope. hope that the woman he deeply loves, loved him back still, even if it was just a little bit of it left.

he liked eleanor. she was good with the kids and kind to y/n, but she wasn't her, and she never could be. eleanor, younger than him and eager to settle down, was someone he found comfort in, at least temporarily. he went along with the idea of marriage, thinking he had nothing to lose, until the day she poured her heart out to him. it was then that he realized eleanor could never replace the deep connection he had lost with his former wife.

"i never wanted that divorce," he said softly as he walked over to her. "and you think I did?" she sniffed, wiping away her tears. “you asked for it..." he began. "because I got tired of giving you signals and second chances that were never taken, max," she sighed, her voice heavy with emotion. she looked up at him, hoping he would understand the weight of her words.

max felt like shit, to say the least. hoy could he be so dumb? how could he throw away his family and the love of his life just like that?

“please give me one last chance, i promise i’m not going to fail you and the cubs again”, he sat next to y/n on the couch, grabbing her small hands and squeezing them softly, “max, you’re getting ma-“ “if you don’t want me to get married i won’t. i just need to hear you say it”, he interrupted her.

y/n was in utter shock to say the least. could he really be serious? the gravity of his words hung heavy in the air, leaving her struggling to comprehend the reality of the situation.

“i am serious. you know it” he said, almost as if he could read her mind, “please baby girl, i need to hear you say it”, he pleaded, staring into her eyes.

y/n took a deep breath.

“maxie… please… please don’t get married” she softly said, eyes watering and lips trembling. max sighed in relief and hugged her tightly, “i’m never letting you go, ever again” he grabbed your face and kissed her softly.

“i hope you stick to that promise” “you know i will, schatje”

[one-piece-aus]

Unbottle Your Emotions

Eustass Kid x Reader (Part 5)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Taglist: @lingxio @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @lil-skelly-bones (ask or comment if you want to be added)

Ahoy! Part 5 is here! I took inspiration from ask-bolthead-crew for the crew's names (aside from Killer, Heat, and Wire). You should check their blog out because the art style is metal(/pos). Also shout out to the people who voted in Killer poll, it was helpful :3

Without further ado, enjoy the story ^-^

Okay, calm down. You'll be fine. Hawkins said the cards said you'll be fine so you'll be fine, right? You just need to stand here, where Kid told you to meet him at lunch. Is this the right one? Well, he did say to be by the glass-stained window by the south entrance, and you're staring at a glass-stained window as you lean next to the doors.

...

Surely it's been a few minutes, and it'd be understandable if you left, right? You did wait and he hasn't shown up so-

"Is that her?"

'Oh great, they're here.' You internally groaned.

You glance over to see Kid and his gang approaching, internally thanking there's a security camera monitoring the hallway. Bouncing off the wall, you wave.

"Hey."

"And I thought you would've been late." Kid smirked at you.

You roll your eyes. "I was only late to class this one day."

Truthfully, you had shown up late to English class (when Makino started attendance) because you didn't want to go knowing Kid's your work partner. You only showed up because you feared what Kid would do if you didn't. You've been early to class otherwise.

"Enough chit-chat, let's go. I'm hungry." A guy with sunglasses and a tall mohawk took the lead, and you all followed outside.

You felt assured that they were heading in the same direction you went yesterday, when you had lunch with Hawkins and Apoo, at least you'd know your way back in case you needed to run. Still, you were dragging your feet, lagging at the back of the group. The blond with long hair took notice, slowing his pace to walk next to you.

"Kid forgot introductions, didn't he?" He guessed.

You nodded, pushing away the urge to question why he wore a face mask. "Yeah, uh I'm [L/n] [Y/n]."

"I go by Killer."

You try to keep a straight face. That doesn't stop the thousand questions erupting in your brain. Main one being: Is that part of the teenage edge phase or has he genuinely killed people?

Killer begins pointing out the others to you, starting with sunglasses. "That's Haikei, Oscar, Noe, Wire, and-"

"Heat?"

"You already know him?" Killer raised an inquiring brow.

"Yeah, he uh- he was in one of my classes last year. He probably wouldn't remember though."

Normally would've forgotten your classmate's name, but the few times Kid came to your classroom after the lunch bell rang because Heat was there, not only made you aware of who the loud redhead was, but you also took note to avoid him in order to not encounter Kid.

"I see," Killer said. A moment of silence passed, well at least between the two of you, Kid and Haikei were loudly arguing about something in front of the pack, before Killer spoke to you again. "So you're Kid's partner in English?"

"Yup." A nonchalant answer.

"You must be smart."

"What makes you say that?"

"Kid normally complains about group projects. He hasn't said a word about you."

You're taken aback. Letting Killer's words sink in, your mind does its best to keep the shock invisible. Does that mean Kid enjoys working with you? No. It means he tolerates you, that's the reasonable conclusion. He's only interacting with you because you have a project, as you are with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Find us a booth." Kid grinned as he walked up to the counter.

You were about to follow when the guy with the beanie called you, Noe you think it was. "Woah, where ya headin' off to, dollface? Kid's already ordering for us."

"I'm gonna make my order," you simply stated.

Last time someone ordered for you, you got a salad. You were pissed to say the least.

Killer face palmed. "Kid didn't tell you, did he [L/n]?"

"Tell me what?"

"The whole point of Kid inviting you was to help us finish this challenge," Haikei said.

"What challenge?" You didn't have to wait for your answer when Kid approached your table with a giant platter full of chicken wings.

"Alright boys, you know the drill!" Kid set down the platter and took his seat. He glanced at you, looking at you with a gaze that questioned why you were standing. Rolling your eyes, you sit down across from him.

A waiter came by a set a timer down. "600 chicken wing challenge, finish in one hour or less and your meal is free. Your time begins now." He hit the clock and the others dived in.

You blinked a few seconds, confused as hell. 'An hour? We didn't have an hour, lunch is only 45 minutes, and we'd have to leave in 30 minutes if we didn't want to be late for class. Are they stupid or do they not care?' You glanced at Kid, a frown present on your face. Though one of them spoke up before you got a word in.

"Whatcha waiting for? Dig in," Noe told you, his mouth full. 

"The three who eat the least gotta pay the bill," Heat informed beside you. "But I'm sure you won't have to since it's your first go."

"We only have half the time the restaurant gave us, shut your yaps and get to eating!" Kid ordered putting four chicken wings in his mouth.

"Guess we have to, princess over here must not like chicken," Haikei remarked.

Oh hell naw. You got up and walked to the counter. Kid briefly glanced at you before looking back at the platter. Maybe he should've let you order something while he got the chicken wings-

"Let's do this!" You slammed a large glass of milk down and took a handful of chicken wings. Kid's gang stared at you wide-eyed and jaws dropped as you began wolfing down food. You glared at them during your milk break. "Come on, I don't wanna be late to class."

Kid snapped out of it and continued eating, as did the rest. Killer took notice of his friend's demeanour shifting. The blond glanced at the rest who were now glancing at you with interest, however, a quick stern shake from Killer made them drop it. Humming, Killer ate another chicken wing under his mask.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, we finally beat that stupid challenge!"

The gang cheered as they exited the restaurant. You simply smiled, satisfied with your lunch. Maybe you'll have that burger tomorrow. You felt someone pat you on the back.

"All thanks to [L/n]! Here here!" Noe exclaimed. "No wonder Kid brought her."

"Kid knew you weren't going to be any help," the one with the short blond mohawk remarked.

"Fuck you, Oscar." Noe flipped him off.

You laughed along with the others, though you felt that irritation from earlier begin eating at your mind again. Did Kid invite you because you were extra help? What would he have done if you didn't help like the others expected? A sour taste sat in your mouth, at least you tuned into the conversation.

"Is she not part of the gang, already?" Heat's the one that asked.

"What?" You blink confused.

"This was [L/n] initiation, wasn't it?" Oscar asked, looking at Kid.

The redhead didn't say anything, making brief eye contact with you. Tossing the sourness out the window, a mixed puzzle settles in your mind instead.

"Hey, Kid just invited me for lunch since I'm working with him in English. I accepted since wasn't working on anything else, though I'll likely be busy studying tomorrow."

Sweet, you corrected the situation and made an excuse so you don't have to go tomorrow. He can't get mad if you're studying, right?

"I'll invite you again when we get the A on our project," Kid said.

"Alright," you say nonchalantly, internally dreading the idea of coming back. You barely survived today. The only reason you didn't struggle to hold yourself together is because you did more than they were expecting so Kid's barks were directed at the others. You can't go through that again now that you've raised his expectations.

"How 'bout we get something else for lunch," Killer suggested. "Since we completed their challenge, I'm sure it'll be a while before they let us take it again."

Well, that was a relief. At least, you know you won't have to deal with that. You half-tune out of the conversation now that they're chatting about other food joints. Slowly the school building came into sight, your eyes passively precepting your surroundings, until you heard an annoying voice. Not just any annoying voice.

Trying to stay cool and invisible, you glance in the direction you heard the voice. Sure enough, it's Helmeppo who is talking to Koby. Shit. You're dead meat if Koby spots you.

You slowed down by some plants and stepped into nature, walking for a few moments before hiding in the green. Silently, you counted up to a minute and stepped out. Glancing around, you sighed, relieved before heading to a different entrance than the south, blending in amongst the crowd.

For a moment, the thought of Kid getting mad because you disappeared without saying anything crossed your mind. A drop of fear swirled in your mind, not knowing how he'd react when you'd see him again. However, when comparing it to the latter, an angry Kid is far less worse, he's only in one class and you know how to hide in the crowded halls. He's easy to escape from, unlike the alternative.

You stand by your choice.

[anon-sect]

Story request by @thetfer

I had been going through my closet, looking at my clothes. Some of them are fans of my TF blog who wanted to be objects I own. Some of them are unwilling objects just because I decided to TF them for fun. Of course, not all them ended up being written about, but some were.

One day, while checking my DMs, I saw one who followed my blog, who was complaining about my TF activity. Thetfer was upset at what I had been doing. He was downright rude about it, in fact. I really didn't have an issue with turning my fans and followers into objects, but apparently, he did. So I decided to ignore his complaint.

After several weeks, thetfer messages were starting to get on my nerves, and something had to be done about it. I invited him to meet me at a local park to discuss his concerns in person. I assume he would be scared to voice his concerns in person, but he actually came.

Thetfer voiced that I was cruel for what I was doing and even threatened to call the authorities on my activities if I didn't cease. I had no intentions of stopping my TF fun. I remained silent while he talked. What he didn't know was that I have my TF device set up in my car pointing directly at the park bench we were sitting on. With remote in hand, I stood up and stepped a few feet from the bench. I hit the remote button. A ray of light struck him.

I watched as he quickly started shrinking in size. "You complained about my TF activity and that it wasn't fair. Now you get to see first hand why you really shouldn't have complained to me." I told him. He begged and pleaded for me to let him go, but I was too much enjoying the moment. I was looking forward to a fresh pair of insoles.

Finally, the transformation was complete. I picked up the insoles on the bench and brought them home with me. I laid them on the bed so that I could determine which pair of shoes to put them in.

These shoes was a fan that obsessed with me. So I decided if I was his obsession, he would be a perfect pair of shoes. Unfortunately, he wasn't very comfortable to wear, even though I wore him often. My foot odor saturated the insides of the poor loser. I almost felt bad for him, almost. Seeing that thetfer could make this loser more comfortable, I stuffed inside the foul stench.

I tried them on, and oh my goodness, the shoes felt much better to wear thanks to thetfer. I thought about thanking him, but who really gives praises to insoles. It's their job to make our shoes comfortable for us to wear. There was no need to thank it.

Thetfer was hurting painfully as anon-sect crushed him under his feet. He wished he had never gone to meet him or complain so much. He wished the pain was the only bad part, but the shoe he was in smelled so bad that he would have gaged if he had a physical mouth. It was the most foul foot odor he had ever encountered. He mentally pleaded to be set free. Anon-sect continued to keep the shoes on going about his day, not concerned about the well-being of his new insoles.

Thetfer had been insoles for about two weeks, being switched from shoe to shoe, serving anon-sect feet. It was a never-ending torture. No matter which pair of shoes he wore, he was always the insoles inside them. Nothing but daily torture. He thought this existed was hopeless till he heard his boyfriend confronting anon-sect about his whereabouts.

I was upset at seeing thetfer's boyfriend up in my face about his disappearance. Somehow, I thought I had gotten away like I always do. But I knew how to fix the issue. Fortunately for me, I also have a TF phone. I took it out quickly. I put in the setting of a pair of white AND1 socks. Before his boyfriend could figure out what was going on, I snapped the picture. He was gone. In his place was my new pair of socks.

I took off my shoes to speak to my insoles for the first time in a long while. "If you were hoping your boyfriend would rescue you, I am dashing your hopes right now. He is my socks. You really are a lucky pair of insoles. Who knows who you will deliver to me for me to transform them." I laugh as I take off my current socks and put on my new socks. They felt wonderful. "Your boyfriend is on my feet now. At least you will be close to him." I laugh more and put my shoes back on with my special pair of insoles inside them.

Thetfer mentally begged anon-sect for forgiveness and to let both of them go, but with no means to convey this, he saw that he and his boyfriend were stuck this way. It was a horrible existence to live the rest of his life serving his feet. He just wished he would just give him a day or two break instead of being used every day. Unfortunately, he was insoles and had no right to determine how much he was used.

[surfinminho]

Kinktober day 25- orgasm denial w/ Felix

⤷ warnings: edging, throat fucking, hate sex (?), sub!Felix, Dom!reader, college setting once again!!

⤷ word count: 1.6k

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna @ihrtlix @conwunder @jazzyluuv

⤷ permanent taglist: @iadorethemskz @iluvseungie

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

You would be lying if you said you didn't know how you got him into this situation. Maybe you were being a little harsh but he deserves it.

You guys went to college together, he was always trying to one up you one everything you guys did. Always studying to say he got the highest test grade. And at first you didn't really care but as he started getting praise for it how could you not?

You guys had mutual friends, though that doesn't mean you like to talk to him.

"Come on, just let it go man" seungmin sighs. Running his fingers through his hair.

"Tell him to stop his bullshit first" rolling your eyes. You knew he could hear you, he was only at the other table. You couldn't care less. You didn't care about his grades either.

"You know how difficult it is to be friends with you guys? Always arguing for what?" You also know that they're annoyed with your antics but youre not the one to end an argument first.

It takes a couple of weeks for your next encounter, around a week after you took your exam.

You studied day and night for this exam. Skipping meals and barely getting sleep trying to prepare.

When you guys got your test scores back your heart dropped. You had failed. You didn't know either to cry or stay stunned. You were in the library with seungmin while checking your grades. Late at night studying for another exam.

He saw you starring at your laptop, wondering why you fell silent.

"What'd you get?" He leans in to see tears trailing down your eyes.

"I failed, after all that studying I failed" you didn't want to seem weak, but Felix was on the other side of the table so you tried to whisper. Though it didn't work.

"You failed? I got a 100. If you need tutoring you can always call me" he turns back to his phone, cracking a smile.

Standing up and packing your things up, you say to him in a softish tone. Trying your best not to disturb others.

"Go fuck yourself."

It's been a few days since that situation. Trying your best to ignore him and any other of his annoying friends.

"It's okay you'll get it next time" seungmin tried to reason with you.

"Yea, next time to get a lower grade than that stuck up over there?" You were being petty, you get it. Then again what did he expect? For you to continue to suck up whatever he says to you?

You and seungmin both knew that you were done with his bullshit, he just didn't want to admit that one day he will eventually have to choose between you guys.

You didn't know why you even agreed to this knowing he would be there, curse seungmin being so good at persuading.

"Really seung? I have better things to do." Maybe you don't but does he have to know that?

"Please. Get your ass inside" he holds the door open for you, shutting it back.

You would also be lying if you didn't have a tiny crush on Felix. Cliche? Yea. But you couldn't help it.

Though he was a bitch he was also pretty. Wearing the prettiest clothes to empress nobody. When you heard he was going to attend the party. You smiled to yourself, even though you know your chances with him are close to impossible you could have hope.

Though you didn't want to have a chance like this, you were walking around, with your drink when you bumped into him and split it.

He saw your worried face, trying to comfort you.

"Hey, its okay-" he couldn't finish his sentence because of the way you took off.

You ran away from him into the bathroom, sliding down the door. Your attempts to hide from him didn't work hence him knocking on the door for the better half of an hour.

"Just let me in, I want to get some paper." His hushed voice was making you wet, and you didn't know why. Maybe it's the alcohol he drank or was he always like this?

You got up and unlocked the bathroom door, sitting on the closed toilet seat looking at the ground.

He realized the juice at soaked through all the way, leaving a sticky trail of the substance on his stomach.

He takes off his shirt, wetting some paper to dry himself.

You tried not to stare, but your eyes seem to wander on its own. Catching a glance when you think he's not looking.

"I can see you." He turns his head slightly, throwing the damp paper, in the trash.

"Wasn't staring" you almost stutter, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"Nobody said you were."

Shit. Did you just tell on yourself? Maybe you did but he was gonna find out anyway, why not now.

You try to escape what feels like a prison, jolting up and grabbing the doorknob but he grabs your hand.

"Why are you so scared of me" he backs you up into the sink, hips pressed against yours.

You wanted to kiss him so bad. His face only inches away from yours.

"I'm not." You shut your eyes trying to reduce the urge to just make out with him right then and there.

"You're running away from me as if you don't want to fuck me." He laughs pushing you furthing into the sink.

"Your very bold for a guy I can easily make my bitch" you don't know where that came from, he leans back slightly with his mouth agape.

You hum, finally leaning in to press your lips together. Lipstick smearing around his own lips. Gripping onto his waist, you grope any available skin. Rubbing your hands over his rock hard abs. You go lower feeling he's hard.

You pull away hovering your face over his neck.

"Getting hard from a kiss it kinda pathetic lix" you start kissing his neck, sucking Hickeys into his neck, trailing your lips down leaving a lipsticks stains against his neck.

"Fuck you" he spat trying to push you away.

You grab his cock through his pants, squeezing it tight before letting go.

"Watch your mouth." honestly, you didn't know where this confidence came from. You never "dommed" a male before so this was all new, nonetheless you loved it.

You leaned back, admiring the mess you made all over his face and neck.

You drop to your knees, unzipping his pants. Pulling out his cock, you spit in your hand wrapping it around his cock.

"S-shit" he whines, knees buckling as you stroke him, pressing your mouth on his tip.

"Go faster y-you slut" he wants to take control back, but he can't. But he didn't surrender just yet. Always wanting to put up a fight per usual.

You listen to him, putting him all the way into your mouth. You slightly gag at the feeling of him hitting your mouth. Precum smears, going down your throat.

"Fucking finally" he holds your head down, fucking your throat lightly.

You let it happen, not warning him what's gonna happen next.

"Gonna cum s-shit" you pull off as soon as those words utter out of his mouth.

He groans, throwing his head back.

"You're so mean to me I thought I should return the favor?" You look back at him, standing back up before kissing him again.

You gave him time to settle down before grabbing his cock again, roughly jerking off his shaft. Running your thumb over his tip every so often.

"You wanna cum?" You turn him over to face the bathroom mirror, you pressed up against his back.

"if you think I'm gonna be your little submissive boy, it wont work." He says with a cocky tone, eyes rolling back.

"You say that as if your not the one naked whining for me to let you cum" youre still fully clothed, clothes contrasting against the tan skin

You squeez his tip, causing a moan to roll out of his lips.

"Y-you can do more. C'mon we both know you want to" you sighed, making him face you once more as you grab his face.

"Can't you just shut the fuck up for one second? And not act like a whiny little whore." You let his face go, slapping him once.

He had never been treated like this. Sure he subbed once in a while. But this? This was a new feeling that he liked. He liked getting called a whore and being slapped around by you. It intrigues him.

You see his demeanor change, eyes softening as tears lace his eyes.

"s-sorry ma'am" you give him a cheesy smile, running your hands over his abs once more.

"You know," you start off. As soon as he whines about being so close you let go again. "You have such a nice body, nice cock too. Sucks youre such a bitch and nobody will get to see it"

Hes so obviously worn out by now. Wanting to cum so bad that'll he do anything just to cum once.

You stroke him a couple more times, using your spare hands to rub his nipple. Twisting them in your hands.

"C-cumming, please ma'am I'll be good for you. Just for you" the tears finally rolling down, staining his cheeks. God he looks beautiful.

"Okay cum."

Maybe you haven't been with enough boys but that's the hardest someone has ever came for you. His whole body was shaking as he fucked up into your hand.

"Fuck you."

[foolishlovers]

CHRISTMAS FIC RECS: Below you can find a quick list of all the Good Omens Christmas fics I’ve read this year so far.

I thought some of you might want to indulge in some cosy reading as well!

You can request more fic recs here.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree How Terrified Your Branches by Supergeek21 (1.2k, G)

As their first Christmas in their cottage approaches Aziraphale asks Crowley if he wants to get a proper Christmas tree. He's surprised to learn the demon already has one.

Christmas Angels by TawnyOwl95 (1.8k, T)

It’s starting to look a lot like Christmas in London and that means there are lots of angels about. Aziraphale does not handle this well.

A half-penny will do by penny_archer (2k, G)

It’s Christmas in Victorian England and Crowley is trying not-very-hard to hide the fact that he’s been giving pickpocketing lessons to the disenfranchised youth of London. Oh, and he has a cute gift for Aziraphale that’s totally not a big deal.

The Nice List by GaryOldman (2k, T)

When watching Christmas movies with Anathema, Crowley can't work out why no one else seems to believe in Santa when he's been receiving gifts for years.

A Christmas Miracle by Santillatron (3k, M)

Crowley gets irritated at couples kissing under a holly arch. One thing leads to another, and a sprig of mistletoe makes a timely appearance.

Well, it's bad luck not to, isn't it?

Taking the Cake by Caedmon (3K, T)

Aziraphale has noticed his handsome neighbor, but hasn't had an excuse (or the nerve) to talk to him. He gets his chance, though, when a bakery delivers a package to the wrong door a few days before Christmas and his neighbor comes knocking.

And All Was For An Apple by Lindewen (3k, T)

The second winter after the Apocalypse didn't happen, Crowley and Aziraphale are out for some sightseeing and Christmas shopping along the south coast, simply because they can. But Crowley also has a secret errand to run--and, as it turns out, he can't always balance very well in his human form...

All The Lights That Light The Way by FeralTuxedo (8k, E)

On the run from a disastrous work Christmas party, Anthony Crowley encounters an angel singing in the streets of Soho.

Of Love and Lattes by edna_blackadder (9k, G)

A.J. Crowley, part time barista at Madame Tracy's Coffee Shoppe, only wants one thing for Christmas, which is to get through the joyous season without his head exploding. His coworkers are already not helping, and then the proprietor of the bookshop across the street develops an unfortunate addiction to seasonal espresso beverages.

Secret Santa by AppleSeeds (18k, T)

On the advice of his therapist, Crowley signs up to be a 'Secret Santa', an anonymous gift-giver for a community initiative aiming to bring some Christmas joy into the lives of people going through a hard time. He's partnered with Aziraphale, a librarian who has lost his home and bookshop in a fire. Through the power of Christmas Magic, Crowley ends up meeting Aziraphale in person when he takes his nephew to the library and is immediately smitten. He becomes determined to use his expertise and influence to give Aziraphale the only Christmas present that could really make a difference, but are some things too important to be kept secret?

muddle through somehow by curtaincall (27k, T)

Aziraphale Fell runs a successful food blog, Celestial Comestibles, where he shares mouthwatering recipes and heartwarming stories about his happy domestic life in a cottage with his husband and son. As promotion for his upcoming cookbook, his publishers run a contest: one lucky winner will get to spend Christmas with Aziraphale and his family.

What the publishers don't know is that the real Aziraphale Fell is a single city-dweller. And if he wants to keep up his happily married persona, he'll have to acquire a cottage, husband, and son before Christmas.

As it happens, his friend and neighbor Anthony Crowley has his nephew staying with him for the holidays. One fake marriage proposal later, and everything seems tickety-boo--as long as Aziraphale can keep from developing inconveniently real feelings for his pretend husband...

First Class (Hons) Christmas, University of Tadfield. by heloluv (41k, M)

Dr. A.Z. Fell is a renowned literature tutor at the prestigious University of Tadfield. December is upon the University, and Dr. Fell is leading the Christmas Charity Drive. He needs volunteers.

Dr. A.J. Crowley is a skilled plant ecologist who recently began his tenure at UoT. He can't stand Christmas, and nothing at all could ever possibly convince him to partake in "festivities". Until a certain literary expert catches his eye.

A Christmas and New Years fic, in which Aziraphale teaches Crowley how to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year.

bonus: The Christmas fic I wrote this year

The Anon Before Christmas by foolishlovers (58k, M)

When Crowley’s friend, blogging buddy and business partner Anathema announces her annual Secret Santa Exchange on Tumblr, she is very adamant Crowley should join this year.

The old-fashioned (but admittedly compassionate) man he gets assigned to send anonymous messages to every day until Christmas sounds awfully similar to the fussy bookseller that his friends adore, yet Crowley tries to avoid at all costs.

But surely his friends would have mentioned if Aziraphale had taken an interest in the Bad Omens fandom as well… right?

Or: An Enemies to Lovers Secret Santa Tumblr AU.

[pinkaditty]

Cater Diamond Thoughts

hey hey part 2 of my insatiable brainrot. been sitting in my drafts for like. weeks. it's Cater's turn. he's gyaruo (and im gyaru if u didn't know!) so i've been obsessed with him for like. months now.

summary: a small collection of thoughts about Cater Diamond that has no chance of curing my permanent unending gyaruo brainrot. help me please. content warning: suggestive content, implied sexual encounters, creepy (ish?) behavior, gn!mc, proofread once or twice at best. a/n: Cater's turn raaaaaah! this isn't exactly nsfw but all the same I'd really prefer it if MINORS DIDN'T INTERACT! thanks! also a reminder that I WILL NOT WRITE NSFW FOR TWST CHARACTERS CANONICALLY UNDER 18. thank you very much for respecting my boundaries! and i promise part 3 of the pervert obey me thing is in the works! <3

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI IM SO SRS.

thank you! enjoy the read!

Cater Diamond who is aloof.

He finds himself not caring at first, especially when you decide to spend all your time with other people when he could’ve been the perfect upperclassman. He finds himself not caring when he watches you get swept away by the hotter, older upperclassmen. He finds himself not caring when you can’t come by Heartslabyul as often anymore.

And then, very quickly, he starts caring. He doesn’t know why or how, but you somehow managed to become an object of his desires when he tries very hard to not let that happen with anyone, ever, at all. Sure he’s liked people, but he has never been spurred to act on it. So he doesn’t know why he goes out of his way to speak to you, to do things with you. Why does he invite you to go for tea and take cute pics? Why does he text you out of the blue just to share a silly thought or idea? Why does he jump for joy whenever he’s invited over to Ramshackle Dorm? And why do you go along with it every time?

He's mystified at how you've managed to break his aloof structure in so little time. But he's not going to let you get away with it. Now that you've caught his attention, he's going to ensure that he catches yours. 

Cater Diamond who is secretive.

He's the kind of person to keep things casual on his end, regardless of how committed the other party may be. He wants to know everyone's deepest secrets and desires, but prefers to keep his under multiple layers of locks and keys. Most of his relationships were almost always one sided, mostly because he could never keep himself tied down. He didn't like to be owned, but he liked to be desired.

After growing up in a house with two older sisters, he hadn't had much privacy, and hadn't had much secrecy either. But once he was exposed to different worlds, he made it a point to keep himself a secret. Talking about home was stressful, and working through the stress surrounding it was even worse, so he always kept his emotions a secret. His sunny disposition and eager attitude was more than enough to catch interested stares, so he kept it up. He was a bit of a tease, but people liked that. The problems came when people grew close to him and expected him to open up in return. That is usually when things would end or grow stagnant. The terrifying ordeal of being known and owned was too much for him. No commitment, no permanence, no promises. Just silly temporary flings, hookups, and infatuation. He was never tempted for more. 

And yet, with you, he finds it hard to not want to be yours. He craves your attention and will do anything to receive and retain it. It is especially satisfying when he manages to draw you away from others and instead towards him. It gains him more than a few displeased glares, but who cares? The only person whose attention he cares about anymore is you. 

Cater Diamond who is clever.

It may not seem like it, but he's got more than a few tricks up his sleeve. 

He will first ask you for your schedule, under the premise of wanting to spend more time together. When he has it, he memorizes it until he knows it off the top of his head. He keeps a close eye on your social media to track your favorite places, and asks you to go there with him, saying he wants to try something new. He plans out random encounters, few and far between enough to make them seem coincidental. He doesn't follow you, but he does show up. And because of that, he begins to stick out in your mind. 

He'll fish for your attention every chance he can get. He'll post the most random, silly things just to get you to like it. He'll click his pen a few too many times in class just to get you to glance over at him and watch him click it repeatedly. He'll fake a stumble if he's walking in front of you just to get your help. He'll put up his hair differently in flight class just so he can catch your questioning stare. He'll do all these things just to feel your eyes on him, so that he can feel like you've noticed him. And if he's brave enough, when he catches your gaze, he'll smirk knowingly, his eyes creasing up at the edges and say "You're staring," as though that wasn't exactly what he wanted. 

He can't bring himself to confess first, so he'll bait you into doing it, by planting the idea in your head in perhaps not-so-subtle ways. He'll mention the incoming Valentine's Day and how badly he wishes for a confession, or he'll bring up the topic of crushes often as though he's dying to know who you've got your eye on - all the while knowing it's him. When you finally crack and cave, admitting your feelings for him, his heart soars. Of course he accepts your feelings, and while the fear of commitment eats at him just slightly, it's muffled by his fulfilled want to be yours.

Maybe you fell first, but he definitely fell harder.

Cater Diamond who is prideful.

He's never been proud to be tied down, ever. But it's with you and he's learning to enjoy it. All he does is talk all of Heartslabyul's ears off (and anyone else who will listen) about how wonderful you are, or how beautiful you are, or how he adores every little thing about you. And while he does indeed love you, there is something satisfying about the palpable jealousy that hangs in the air when he mentions staying the night at Ramshackle Dorm or going out on cute little photogenic dates with you. His eyes glimmer with pride every time someone sucks their teeth or rolls their eyes or lowly growls. He doesn't even remotely feel threatened. 

He tries not to flaunt you too much, for fear of being overly zealous, but he offers his arm to you every time you walk together. He kisses your forehead sometimes when he sends you off to class. He takes as many pictures as he likes of you in your cutest outfits. And he always makes a show of it if you sit near him at lunch. He can't help it. He's just so proud. The question is, is he proud to be yours or proud to have you?

Cater Diamond who is capable.

It doesn't take long for you to bed each other; romance wasn't the only thing blossoming between you two. Cater very quickly proves himself to be far more than adept at such activities, but recognizes that there is love in this too, this time.

In the past, he always did it how his partner liked it to keep them interested, ensuring both parties were happy, but only to his own benefit. He never said "I love you" or anything as flimsy and daunting as that. It was always whispered moans and whines from him and his partner, various curses, vulgar descriptions, and a cry to signify release. Nothing more, nothing less. If such committed words were uttered, he'd stop seeing them. He always made it clear that that's never what he wanted to hear. He only wanted to hear how good they were feeling, how close they were, or what they wanted him to do or what they wanted to do to him. It was always just to get off or satiate a burning attraction, never to demonstrate love. 

Like the past, he wants to make you, his partner, feel good, but unlike the past, it is a demonstration of love. He will do everything in his power to ensure that you know that he loves you through every technique he knows. He thinks of you first and him second. Whatever you want done is done, however you want it, whenever you want it, all to show that he loves you. He doesn't care. As long as it satisfies you, anything's worth it. And he does satisfy you. Every time. 

He never gets tired of hearing his name moaned out on your tongue, and he never gets tired of the taste of yours, sweet as honey, lingering on his lips like a whisper.

Cater Diamond who is devoted.

He's been tied down, slowly but surely. Whether you planned it or not, you've simply got him wrapped around your finger. Of course he knows this, but can't bring himself to want to tear away. He is safe and comfortable with you, and all the things you've shown him. He quickly finds that, instead of being proud to have you, he's proud to be yours. He's proud to be loved in the way he's learned to love. Whatever residual fear he has of commitment, or loss of control, is all dissolved when he looks at you, your hand curled around his, your eyes watching him.

He takes pictures of you all the time to remind himself that he's yours, and he curls into your chest at night to remind himself that he's yours, and he bathes in the jealous stares of his peers to remind himself that he's yours.

And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Cater Diamond who is in love with you. 

------------------------

a/n: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Cater Diamond my beloved?!?!?? anyways. thanks you guys for reading. genuinely I hope you all appreciate Cater Diamond as much as I do, especially after reading this! take care, and stay tuned for the other adult characters!

[deusvervewrites]

Genome AU:

I like this au a lot and have been rotating it in my head for a bit now. specifically how the whole clone project gets revealed - in one of the asks, you mention that AFO/the doctor likely aren't actively scheming with it in mind, and given that it was canned approximately 10-15 years ago by the time canon rolls around and only a few clones were kept, the fact that the clone kids are then old enough to possibly be in UA would probably have not occurred to them.

But. while the project may not be on their minds, it most definitely had to have some sort of records of it taking place. the first thought that i had was that maybe the doctor kept notes/records of the process, along with files for specific clones, their "parents," where they were kept, and possibly even when or why they were dropped.

If those files didn't exist, whether due not being made in the first place or being lost/destroyed, there would most likely be suspicious holes in the clone kid's paperwork, or at least an absence of any record of former/possible parents. If i remember correctly, some of the nomu project was done inside/connected to the AFO orphanages - so if that was discovered, and the investigators noticed the link between the UA students who came from them and their lack of early life records, then a DNA test could be ordered and reveal their odd parentage. The whole "clone" thing would be more of a running theory than a definitively proven fact, but oh well.

Okay so im still thinking about this. Basically a continuation from my last ask about this. back to the clone project records - for this reveal to even come about, there would have to be a further investigation into the nomus/the doctor's work specifically, rather than just the broader lov. Im not sure if there were any given dates/approximate timeframes for the nomu project in canon, and i don't know for sure if the doctors work had any appearances in vigilantes that would date the creation of nomus/similar things to being active earlier than in the main series, but from what i can remember about the reaction to the USJ is that nomus and similar don't seem to have been encountered and thus recorded before its appearance at the USJ. (it also doesnt seem like people react to the idea of bioengineered weapons made from the corpses of missing people as like. a main concern and it was kind of brushed off in favor of focusing on shigaraki, which i get that he is far more important in the long run but was the entire task force really like "eh, whatever" about the fucked up frakenstein things???) take this with a grain of salt bc i havent reread this specific part in a while. But in this au, the doctor's work clearly goes back pretty damn far. they were advanced enough to make viable clones from multiple sources of DNA, and while the project was technically a failure, there would have been a lot more research into the mixing of quirks that could be repurposed for the nomu project, which would then have at least 10-15 years before canon to develop, possibly even more if it was running next to the original clone project while the latter was winding down in its last years. So. My thought was that if the project had far more time to develop, then the nomus used in canon would likely be far more powerful by the time the heros catch on to their existence, possibly matching the high-end nomus. Because of this, they'd be even more of a problem than in canon. The investigating heros would then dedicate a second team to focus on the origin of the nomus, eventually clueing them in to its predecessor in the clone project. Okay last ask bc i should sleep. still connected to my previous two but mercifully shorter. my bad for occasionally dropping huge asks onto your blog sometimes i have more thoughts than i thought i had. Anyways i think it would be fucked up if one of the clone kids was put onto the investigation team that dug up the files.

We do know that the Noumu specifically were canonically a recent development because the main antagonist of Vigilantes was the thing AFO tried before moving on to the Noumu project (specifically because of how Vigilantes played out for him), but I'm not sure whether that's the case here. (And, yes, Kurogiri was already around in Vigilantes)

The Noumu being stronger makes sense, considering what I have cooked up with the few clones that AFO kept, and they've also adapted the Noumu technology back to the clones for implanting new Quirks, so it all ties together for Garaki.

Finding records about that makes sense

[cbrownjc]

Oh! You reblogged my reblog of your reblog and added 'wonderful addition' in your tags! Thank you so much! You're one of my very iwtv and dm blogs, so I'm very excited that you thought so. You always have such great meta (and made me feel unalone in the 'Daniel was dying of AIDS when Armand turned him; I don't care what Anne says' camp.. Overdose deaths... don't go that slowly and nobody who was overdosing could be that coherent. Even the most high-functioning addict couldn't have told such cohesive story re: the twins. Not even with their minds. If you have taken that much, you are either passed out or the words coming out your mouth are incoherent *or* your delusions are literally delusional and they tend to be really on a few things. Daniel would not have able to collect his like that. He just wouldn't have been. I didn't pick any of this up when I first read it because I was about 14 and didn't anything about anything. I have since grown-up and gained life experience I wish I did not have. I hope I don't sound like I'm being flippant about this. Or that I'm oversharing. Because I'm not trying to be. As I said, I take this from my own life experience as someone watching what this kind of drug use looks like and how it usually concludes. It's also just something that *really* stood out to me when I reread the Devil's Minion chapter very recently. I sat there and said holy shit, this is AIDS, right? I mean, it doesn't specify anything except Daniel destroying his body and I'm like, okay, well long-term drug use does destroy your body, but it's not all at once like this. This is a metaphor, especially with all the sexual encounters Daniel was having especially in that specific time period. Obviously, the first thing I did was hunt down posts on tumblr to confirm my suspicions only to find that, according to Anne, it was not meant to be a metaphor for AIDS. It was drugs? So, I sat there and went nope, not really how long-term drug use go, definitely not how overdoses on hard drugs go. Anne, I do not think you have been in the presence of a serious addict while they are scary high or even around one for any length of time if you think this is how it goes. I also thought that if it was supposed to be an overdose, then 500ish years-old or not, it should have still affected Armand. A longterm hard drug user like Daniel would have to have taken a lot of something very strong, particularly if we're talking about the drugs readily available to addicts in the 80s. This is one of those things in the books that I reject their canon and insert my own when I think about it. There are a bunch of outstanding arguments for why Daniel was dying of AIDS and then there's Anne's own words that she meant for it to drugs and I just feel like this is one of those occasions where death of the author must be applied. At least for it to make sense in *my* brain.

I am so sorry I just filled your inbox with a wall of text only very tangentially related to the original topic, which was to say 'thank you' and 'yay, one my favorite blogs said this was nice and now I feel less like all my commentary is unhinged nonsense! :D' But a wall text that no one asked for came out. I'm so sorry.

Hi!

First of all, don't worry about the wall of text, it's fine. It's nice getting message from people who just enjoy what I have to say and just want to say thank you! I will never have a problem with that. 🙂

I don't know if you've checked out my tag on the subject of AIDS on my blog, but I have some older posts there that discuss my thoughts when I first read Queen of the Damned and how Daniel was dying in that book. And, to be fair, Daniel wasn't really dying of drugs there, it was cirrhosis of the liver from drinking too much. Which I'm sure Anne chose it because she'd had a history of alcoholism and so could write from experience about it.

But yeah, it's still an addiction he was dying of. Which, by the time I read the book in 1995 was rather jarring that it actually wasn't AIDS, as I said in this post here. I can understand why it wasn't (given when Rice was originally writing that book), but it just can't help but be jarring now, when you read that book after the 1980s I feel.

Given that the showrunner and writers are playwrights, however, I think they well know they can't do Daniel's story in this day and age now without mentioning the AIDS crisis and tying his character into it in some way. It would just ring hollow not to, IMO. And I think they know that given that AIDS-related issues were some of the very first images we see in the first episode of the show, as well as the book we know in-universe he wrote about it.

Anyway, yes I really liked your post, and again, no apologies needed for the length or anything, really! The fact that you see me as a favorite blog to read is so nice to hear! 🤗

[the-kr8tor]

Hehe 910 PICKLES??? Ooo I'm gonna doodle hobie and syn as ghosts once exam revision + exams are over (After Tuesday next week I shall be officially out of the chains of exams and free to doodle) Also I better know when this blog officially turns a year old- cus you bet I'm gonna do a juicy, angsty lil gift for it >:) Daily Hobie HC!! You and Hobie were best friends as children. Practically tied at the hip, doing everything together. Of course, there were tough times. Bullies, fights, blood and tears, but nothing could break the bond. He gifted you a bracelet for you two to match. The last sighting you've had of him before he disappeared. Your thirteenth birthday, alone, and without Hobie by your side. Every birthday is a shell of a promise. "When we're twelve, we can go see the stray kitties!" "When we're thirteen, we can go....." "When we're fourteen.." Eventually the empty promises became blurred in your head, much to your dismay. How did he even look like again? Would he look the same, now, if he wasn't dead? He left you then. And now? Look at you. A tough member of a little rebellion group, roaming around the darkened streets to think over the memories, trying to desperately revive those times where he mentioned something, anything, about being older.

But why were you holding onto this? It's been years, and he's probably dead. His life was tough, always has been. Perhaps he ran to avoid it. And kept running ever since. You glance down at your wrist, the worn out matching bracelet still snug on your wrist. Of course, there were red lines from the fact it was so small, but you kept it on, moving it sometimes throughout the day so you didn't restrict any blood flow. However, you stopped in your tracks upon hearing a certain voice. A voice that belonged to a very recognizable person, going by the name of Spider-Man. You remember a few other members of the underground rebellious group wanting to join ties with him at least, so you follow the voice, keeping your footsteps effortlessly light. The only thing that could give you away now are the spidey-senses, but if you're quick enough, you could possibly get past it. As you near the punk Spider-Man, you see him beginning to turn around as his spidey-senses go off. However, you managed to buckle his knees in and knock him out just in time.

Only God knows how you managed to drag him back to your house, but you did it, tying him to a chair to ensure a passive encounter. He's very clearly blacked out from your attack, and so you roll up his mask to rest on his nose, making sure he can breathe just fine. Since it was night, you had no problem just collapsing onto the couch and dozing off, with your mind waking you up at exactly 6 AM in the morning. You glance over to Spider-Man, tied in the chair, having gained consciousness the same time as you, looking around the place. With a yawn, you greet him, throwing on your robe over the clothes you slept in and putting the kettle on for some tea.

He's confused by your unbothered and non-threatening acts, slowly beginning relaxed in your presence as you both simply just engage in conversation. You unsheathe a nearby pocket knife, undoing one of his hands from the chair as you go to grab you both some tea, simply just taking casually about the corruption and crime of the city. However, Hobie is rendered silent by what he sees. A worn out, matching bracelet on your wrist, his eyes widening in shock. Slowly he puts the cup on the table, prompting you to raise a brow at him. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out the other half of the bracelet, small and worn out as well. He holds it out in front of you, watching your face contort into a mix of emotions, tears brimming at your eyes as he smiles at you. He calls out your name, watching as you hurriedly cut away the rest of his ropes. Hobie is quick to wrap you in his arms, burying his face into your shoulder as small tears fall onto your skin. You easily reciprocate the hug, taking in his warmth and letting the smell of his perfume (hehe) wash over you You found him. You finally found him, after years. He's back. I have been trying to send this for legit a few hours now I am so tired :(. -🐦‍⬛

That's a lot of pickles 😮

Oohhh that already sounds amazing!!! I bet it'll look as good as the anon drawings you did awhile ago!

The anniversary will be on the 25th! You'll know bc I have a lil something something planned 😉

DAILY HOBIE HC!!!! 🎉

GAHHHH!!!! I WAS READING THIS WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN BC IT WAS SO GOOD! TRULY NEEDED SOME POPCORN WHILE READING IT

Oh I'm a sucker for best friends reuniting 🥹🥹🥹

R was so mean for beating the crap out of him lmaoooo 😂 they're like "spiderman?! *Cracks knuckles*" also also i think he didn't notice them immediately bc his spider senses didn't work on them bc it was like "bestie?"

Oh noooo!! Get some rest, my love ❤️ ily

[tetsunabouquet]

Titan Shifters; Eren Yeager X Reader

A/N: Like I mentioned on my blog, I watched a Rise Of The Lycans analysis a few days ago and this prompted me to go on a rewatch. I am blaming this fic on Lucian.

You were jittering with nerves, being assigned to help with Eren's titan shifting experiments so they could compare your data. You were really intrigued by him. Born of human parents, yet being able to shift into a titan. Unlike you. You were the prized secret of the Survey Corps, the secret they had been hiding from the military police since your birth. The story they told was that they found you as a baby during their expedition, miraculously alive and the Survey Corps insisted into adopting you at their base under the excuse they had grown attached to you. The real truth was much more strange, and horrifying. On a scouting mission, they encountered a few titans, one acting more strangely then the rest. At first, they thought it was an Abnormal, until it started to evaporate on its own. In the middle of the smoke and bones, was a baby. You. The daughter of a titan and completely looking like a normal human baby. Keith Shadis who had been the Commander at the time, looked at the baby in his arms and he did not have it in him to surrender you to the Military Police and what kind of tests they might do to a tiny little baby. Keith Shadis was a hard man, but not heartless. As imperfect as he was, he had been the only father you'd ever known and you were sad to see him go. But he said it was for the best, especially after that event on your 8th birthday which had transpired a year before the fall of Shiganshina, when you had transformed into a 12 meter titan by accident. It seemed like you were some kind of half-titan, Hange would later conclude. Erwin had been good to you after he came into charge at the Survey Corps and Levi thankfully managed to keep Hange under control who continued to creep you out. But you missed Keith all the same. Getting a new piece of the puzzle of the titan mystery and your own, had made you look forward to meeting the boy. You had not nearly expected him to be so cute and looking like he would grow into a very handsome man. Needless to say, you had a slight crush and the idea of comparing your titan form to his, just flustered you beyond belief.

Things had turnt out interesting, like finding out Eren needed to self harm and focus in order to shift. You never did, you only needed to focus on a woman you presumed had been your mother's human form. She would often come to you in your dreams and you very vividly remembered blowing out the birthday candles on your eight birthday, thinking of that woman and how she never got to see you grow up before you transformed. Eren's titan had a different smell then the other titans you've encountered before. He still smelt human after turning into a titan. Hange had found it marvellous and had proceeded to question you why you never said titans smelt different to you and how humans smelt like. This was exactly why you never told Hange anything, because she would bombard you with questions that gave a headache. When she finally backed down, you had the opportunity to sit down in peace. Much to your surprise, Eren sat down next to you. "She finally left you off the hook huh?" He remarked and you chuckled. "Seems so." "How have you endured her for so long?" Eren asked which made you sigh with the weight of tolerating Hange for years. "I suppose it's my angelic patience." You offered as you looked up at the sun that hung low in the sky. "I swear she can be so creepy, like the way she measures my titan form every month as mine does ages alongside me. It gives me the icks." "So your titan underwent puberty? Like…" Eren looked a little red faced but continued bluntly, "it didn't always have boobs?" You stuttered with an even redder face,"Just wh-what were you l-looking at?!" "I'm a boy you know, and you're hot." Eren clarified and you might as well have fainted on the spot. Eren Yeager certainly changed your life for good, that's for sure.

[pokemoncenter]

Introduction

Hello. My name is Sophora. I am a Pokemon veterinarian. I live in Unova, but at the time of this writing, I am beginning a temporary stay in Johto to assist with a research project.

My blog is mostly thoughts and discussions of Pokemon care and science, as well as what photos I wish to share.

I am a former member of Team Plasma. My duties were to care for Pokemon injured by human deeds, and assess whether they could be released into the wild. Though I was nothing more than a child in training at the time. I wish to be clear that I, along with most Team Plasma members you will ever encounter, were fooled by Ghetsis, and truly do wish for improving the lives of Pokemon.

My sole Pokemon is a Zorua named Beans. I have had her for many years, and she is my dear companion.

I am often told I have no sense of humor, so please do not expect much in the way of jokes or banter from me. I am also often called rude, or at the very least blunt.

I will speak often on Pokemon care, as mentioned. I will answer any questions on Pokemon care when I am able, though I am mostly only familiar with Pokemon of the Unova region, and some of the Kanjoh region. I also will often speak on the life of a veterinarian and what sort of things one is expected to do in this job.

The difference between a Pokemon veterinarian and a Pokemon Center, for the record, generally involves overall health versus injuries. If it was a problem or health issue that came from battle, you go to a Center. If it is an overall health issue that did not come from battling, go to a veterinarian. Generally, we will refer you to the other one if you got it wrong.

My hobbies are reading and photography. I have given lectures about Pokemon care at conferences before, and I enjoy trying new foods. I am something of a coffee enthusiast, as well.

Most people I mention on this blog, I will be changing their names. This includes myself- Rotomphones should not replace basic internet safety for you all. The main exceptions will be people on this site who use their real name, and people who are otherwise too famous that it would be pointless to try to change their name.

I look forward to pleasant conversations with you all.

//OOC under the cut!

Player is over 21.

All posts will be tagged with 'pkmn irl' and 'unreality'.

This is, obviously, a Pokemon IRL rp blog.

I intend to not get involved in high stakes with the possibly exception of Team Winter stuff, or things that otherwise catch my interest. Most of them will be assumed to not happen.

Some notes on character canon!

Sapient Pokemon do not exist. There are rare exceptions, but they are extremely special and noteworthy. Pokemon intelligence varies, but generally they're animals. As a result, I would prefer not to interact with sapient Pokemon blogs, and if you do, Sophora will assume that you're a child roleplaying.

Legendary Pokemon are rare. The mainline games are canon but generally, Sophora doesn't know a lot of what happened. If it wasn't on the scale of Kyogre and Groudon, Sophora probably didn't hear about it! Sophora does not believe in a lot of legendary Pokemon as a result.

I do not do the whole 'magic anon' thing and such asks will be ignored.

Human-obtainable superpowers are Aura and psychic powers. That's about it. There are no other superpowers. Legendaries do not give children superpowers.

Legendaries may have been worshipped as gods but are not gods. There is no Arceus-based religion. People do not worship Arceus and do not treat it as the Christian god.

Most products that get parodied do not have the Pokemon parody names, and they just have the real world name. However, it is an in-universe meme to force Pokemon names into the product name, and that's why everyone has such differences (i.e. the proper name for the place is Starbucks, but some people call it Starlybucks and others call it Staryubucks, because it's a meme, not the real name.)

I want to avoid crossover stuff, it is not to my interest.

I want to try to keep to the tone of Pokemon as much as possible, so I'm going to be ignoring most things about murder and killing (unless it is a Cubone's mother).

Sophora can be, and often is, wrong about various subjects. However, she is a veterinarian and thus generally going to be correct about Pokemon care. Please do not show up to just correct me and claim my character doesn't know what she's talking about.

I try to avoid getting involved with the 'multiverse' stuff. As far as Sophora is concerned, there is only one reality, and it's hers. Please do not get deep into the weeds on that with her so I don't have to think about it too hard.

Animals exist! Pokemon are part of the ecosystem but normal animals exist, too. They just don't come up often because they aren't relevant.

Sorry if that sounds like too much stuff! I just wanted to be very clear from the outset.

EDIT:

If you are not someone already relevant about it, I will not acknowledge any asks where you try to prove legendary Pokemon. It's much funnier if Sophora refuses to believe in them. For understanding of the gag, please watch this video.

Sophora will not ever see or acknowledge a Legendary Pokemon outside of very specific circumstances. Please do not try to force the issue.

[my-own-au-my-way]

Sukuna-Mechanic part 8

Just two days since Y/n had encountered Sukuna, with his hoodie in hand that she personally washed for him had to give It back. However she has been so busy with her work that she didn't have time to take a break. Having just finished some custom patterns on her latest clients motorbike, It was finally lunch time. Her current thoughts were interrupted from her cellphone that notified her of a live stream, yes she absolutely loved watching Sukuna go live.

Seen him on screen felt different from when meeting him in person, watching how he effortlessly fixes a car up as though It were no big deal. It made her realize that perhaps she needs to get further studies In the field of mechanics, though at most maybe she could just ask Sukuna to show her a few things. Sighing in frustration, she slapped her cheek to try stop these thoughts!. Telling herself It would be strictly business, he will not be interested. Looking back at her phone, she noticed there was some annoying troll still trying to pester him into a relationship, It was that lady yet again.

If one could slap someone through a screen, Y/n would rather throw hands!

Gripping her phone harder, she takes a deep breath then finally typed a message:

SleepDeprivedPerson:"Okay okay so tell me oh wise lady, why oh why would Sukuna shut you down everytime?. Now Im sure you are smart enough to realize that a 'no' is a 'NO!', FOR FUCKS SAKE HE WHEN HE SAYS NO IT IS A BIG NO!!. Now Im very sure that you do understand the situation, however you still persist and In turn give even me a headache!!

JingxieJr:"Duuuuude this was just epic!!! Gal got roasted!!!"

Ketchup-Clown:"Bruh like trolls be trolls for a reason. This one just asked for it."

💦birdiebabe💦:Tsk, whatever. He will be missing out with a hot catch like me!."

SleepDeprivedPerson:"Ma'am, respect here!!!, If you really want a date go find a man in a dating app or bar...NOT HERE!!."

GodOfSteel:"Alright @💦birdiebabe💦, since your vile behaviour Is not accepted by me or anyone else here, Im going to ask you to leave my blog or I will be reporting you for harrassment."

Y/n rubbed her face from exhaustion, then placing her phone down to go grab some food. Not long after getting to the kitchen Jessica comes In, all vibrating from sheer excitement.

"Girl!! Y/n!!!! You are so Into him!!!.'

Y/n looks back from her fridge, raising a brow just shakes her head showing amusement."No what makes you even think that? I mean seriously that person was just getting annoying. Today has been way too busy and her stupid behaviour is just annoying, anyone could see that.

Jessica then had this typical look, she only has this look when she knows something. Then gestures to a neatly folded up hoodie in the kitchen,"Mind explaing this then?."

You could swear she just obtained a huge victory when Y/n rushed to put It in a bag to take back to him later, Oh the look on Jessicas face.

Y/n sighs while hugging the packet with Sukunas hoodie In it,"Well he let me wear It that day, It was cold and he refused me to simply go without anything warm. Its not mine to keep!, stop looking at me like that Jess!!."

Only growing more flustered just gives up trying to convince her best friend otherwise.

@gojos-version

(hehe hope its still interesting. Im trying to build this tension🤫. Feel free to request what you want to see more of and I shall grant It!.)

[lazyyogi]

What helped you at the start of your journey of becoming who you are now and what do you do consistently to keep you on your path to be helpful to others?

Any suggestions on what to do for those who’d like to be able to help others as you do with the answers you provide?

I was blessed with the right balance of suffering.

Some people suffer too little, so they never seek the radical change that comes from the dharma. They're content enough. Others suffer too much; their pain drains and torments and occupies them such that little room is left for thoughts of dharma or the energy to practice it. Similar to how it may be difficult to show a starving person the beauty of poetry. Feed them, ease their pain, and then bring out the poetry.

This is one of the major reasons for why dharma-based religions emphasize helping others. It may bring them to a place in which they are ready and able to awaken from self-based illusion.

While I did experience elements of suffering, my childhood was for the most part extraordinarily blessed. And I was a bit of a brat, albeit a charming one. But when my father died of cancer before I graduated high school, the reality and finality and unpredictability of death struck me hard.

At the time, I was a practicing occultist and so I turned toward a few trusted occultist friends for insight and advice. I was blessed with a friend who pointed me in the direction of tantra, which is essentially a perfect crossing over point for occultists to enter the spiritual path.

Essentially at that point in my life, I had a few of the insights that lead a person to dharma:

Impermanence. Not only the impermanence of our circumstances and their changefulness but also of our very lives. It's one thing to know it in your head, it's another thing to know it. When you realize you are dying and will die, it lights a fire under you.

Suffering and freedom. I felt awkward, tense, confused, angsty, and unhappy. But I also knew that I had at some point lived without those things. This suggests it is possible to be free from them again.

Precious human birth. Beginning around the age of 7, I wondered what my life would have been like had I been born into a different family. Different religion. I didn't understand why kids identified with their family's religion just because that's what their family believed. It is thanks to our human capacities that we can contemplate life, death, existence, and so on.

Freedom is possible. This was a stroke of luck that I encountered the dharma at the right time. Although I wasn't okay with continuing to suffer and I felt that it should be possible to be free from suffering, I didn't know for sure that there is truly a way beyond it. Eventually I did come to discover that through the grace of the way things unfolded for me after my father's passing.

From there I wasn't content to live within the limits of my suffering, I wanted freedom from it. That urge to be free from such limits drove me to learn spiritual practices such as meditation and then practice them with dedication and discipline. My guru sometimes says that if you are sitting on a chair with a time bomb underneath it, you will find plenty of energy to get up and run away.

With spiritual practice, it is like that. When you know you will die and that death may come any time, then you will prioritize that which will liberate you from suffering.

I didn't set out to write a blog encouraging and clarifying the spiritual way. Nor did I really set out to have a 'path.' I just addressed what was most relevant and immediate in my life: the matters of happiness, love, peace, death, suffering, and such. But just as once step after another soon becomes a journey, so too did my obstacles become a path.

Many people helped me on my way and this blog has been my means of paying it forward, as I will never be able to repay them for their kindness. Which is why so long as I am able and so long as there is a space for me, I will always maintain a Lazy Yogi presence somewhere on the internet.

My advice is to free others from yourself first. If we don't work on ourselves, if we don't emerge from our self-based confusion, then we become everyone else's problem. Discover the ways in which you are limited, bound, deluded, confused, and suffering. And then endeavor to free yourself.

The rest will grow from there.

Much love!

LY

[lactosa2]

Hello! is been a long short time since the last time i did something, and whit the voice lines and the last cinematic is so much more information about Omen past and current situation. At this point this mf blog is only about Omen (im not complainin)

If you haven´t see the cinematic or the last voice lines of Omen and Sabine you dont gonna understand to much this drabble. This one gonna be fluffy and long btw. (4.262 words!!)

TALK TO ME (1/2)

Omen was pacing from side to side, angry and confused, his posture hunched as he looked at the ground, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed by the feelings he had tried for so long to appease.

he had just sent a voicemail to Brimstone, demanding that he understand her position and why the recent demands to see Viper and talk to her, he had to understand. Everthing all been a lie.

He felt used and manipulated, as if his current point of view didn't belong to him, but rather was what Viper wanted him to be, that his pain and confusion regarding his past and himself always had answers, he just never got them. The stress was bringing him to the brink of collapse, he felt the shadows beneath those bandages contract, erupting into a bright blue color while his hands trembled thanks to his anxious thoughts.

All the people he killed, everything he experienced, all his memories of a life and a name with which he felt no connection… Was it even him? Or at least there was something from the past to rescue? He can't understand why.

4:28 PM

You hadn't spoken to Omen since before his last mission, Sova told you about 5 days ago that he was under pressure, you didn't know what he was referring to but you assumed it was thanks to the same old thing, His lost memories.

You tried to leave him alone for a while, you didn't want to put pressure on him and you know him well enough to know that he needs to be alone for a few days, then he'll look for you and talk about what's bothering him, it's been a week and a half and he still hasn't spoken to you

You are worried but you keep insisting to yourself that he will talk to you soon, but the days went by quickly and your anxiety grew. Is he ignoring you? Is it too bad? Something you did made him angry and now he doesn't even want to see you?

You know that he would never go away for more than a day without sending you a message explaining that he needs to manage his emotions and see what to do in the future, he knows your insecurities and he is not going to hurt them more than they are. Usually he would explain to you in a brief summary what is happening and approximately how much time he thinks he needs for himself, the text or voice message would end by telling you that it is okay if you talk to him while and that he loves you, which would calm your heart formerly hurt and would have to wait for him, only a few days, but a week and a half has passed and he hasn't said anything after receiving that message

This time he didn't explain the situation, he just said that he needed time, he was stressed, and although the stress could be relieved with a cuddle session, he needed to organize his emotions and thoughts on his own, and then he would look for you.

You knew how he worked and his emotions, even so, as the days passed, the messages in the morning with him alone made you more anxious and needy to have him close, in person, you wanted to hug him and play with his hand while he let off steam, You wanted that little warmth, the temperature didn't matter, the closeness made the encounter feel unique and even if the panorama is not new

You couldn't resist the desire to be with him, not only because you missed him, but more than that it was the concern for his well-being, you knew that for the most part he was strong and could think coldly with ease, but his past had always been that weak point capable of carrying him to the mental and emotional explosion. So without thinking more than you already did, you went to his room, you knocked on the door even though the hand recognizer had already allowed access for you (Omen configured the detector so that it would also validate yours). The last thing you wanted was to surprise him in a moment of vulnerability, one where he would feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

The door opened showing you a stooped Omen, his tall figure made the first thing you saw was his armor, you raised your head and saw that he had his head down, before you could speak he gently grabbed your hand and pulled you inside.

He pressed the button to close the door and instantly hid his head on your shoulder, both hands gently ran down your back before each one landing on a different side of your waist, hugging you firmly.

(This drabble gonna have part two and maybe part three, i dont feel whit all the motivation and i dont want the post to be more extence, plus my head hurt)

[twilight-princess240]

I'm probably going to regret posting this and might delete it at some point, who knows, but I want to get this off my chest. I'll probably regret doing this on a public post on Tumblr later.

Is it weird to miss someone who you've only talked to briefly on here who deactivated their account for a reason or another, and since you don't know if there's any other social media out there they have along with the fact that you still didn't talk to them much, you'll probably never encounter them again?

Because that happened to me. I found an account by chance while perusing Tumblr, and I was interested in what posts were on there despite them being 18+ and NSFW. I honestly liked the content when looking through it and I even sent a message through the ask function admitting as such despite being unusually shy for some reason, maybe because at the time I didn't post anything (until my rant about my girl Alyssa Targaryen not too long ago) and I usually prefer to keep to myself.

I admittedly wasn't sure what the response would be and suddenly I felt like the biggest shrinking violet on the planet at the time. It was probably because it was the first time I had ever sent an ask on anyone's account, not to mention this was probably the first guy I reached out to on my own initiative outside of those I was already comfortable around on Discord. I was so nervous and to a certain extent, scared, because even though I was 22 at the time I never knew I could be so shy. I must have been pretty red in the face from my shyness too.

But he reached out to me about my ask through Tumblr's messages function, and he was honestly really kind. In the first message he sent to me, he thanked me for the kindness in my ask, and I was so surprised that he directly reached out to me that not only did my shyness kick in full force, I admittedly didn't respond to it for a month. When I finally responded, he understood I was shy for reasons I couldn't explain at the time, and surprisingly, despite my shyness still lingering, I felt comfortable around him. He assured me that he didn't feel uncomfortable about the fact that I liked a lot of his posts, which I was feeling really conscious about and had admitted to him. I felt like I could come out of my shell at least a bit, open up a little, at least to the point where I was willing to keep talking to him if we could. There were times where there were bumps in the road, where I wasn't sure if we had gotten off on the wrong foot or something or I was wondering if I was annoying or a load because of a tendency to just run my mouth at times, but overall I honestly enjoyed talking to him and his company even if it was solely through Tumblr's messages function.

However, it wasn't for long. We only talked for a few months, and even then, it was really brief and spread out partially due to different time zones. He was dealing with a lot of hate from anons who knew they could get away with it because they could hide behind screens. It was one of the key reasons if not the key reason why he eventually deactivated his blog, last year actually, and probably hasn't returned. Our final exchange, in October last year, was me wishing him luck since he was deleting his blog and possibly not returning, and he thanked me and wished me the best as well. And we both moved on with our lives.

But here's why I think I'm weird when concerning this topic and for even writing all this. It's because somehow, I miss him and feel a wish to reconnect with him and talk with him again. Aside from us talking very sparsely, I'm not sure if we even really knew each other after our message exchanging. As a result of all that, I feel like I shouldn't miss him. Yet I do, and I feel a strange desire to reconnect with him and talk with him again. I try to quash those feelings because not only will it probably never happen, to an extent I feel like it doesn't feel right to miss him and want to reconnect with him after only exchanging messages with him briefly and it being almost a year since he left.

Oh boy, this was practically an essay. While I do feel a bit better about getting this off my chest, I'm probably going to be cringing at myself for this and considering when to delete it as well. It scares me a bit, the fact that even though I didn't mention the person's name at all, someone might still figure out who I'm talking about and somehow get it to him. Well, it's still up in the air as to whether this is going to be deleted or not, but it all depends on how much I regret posting this and how mortified and conscious I feel at least a bit later over even writing this to begin with.