#there's no value to anyone else. they're not going to waste time or give someone attention when you've done nothing to earn it

[askshivanulegacy]

It's ok to write with another person's input. And some people like to beta fics, even long ones. Having a beta reader isn't a requirement, though, and lots of people don't use one. If you want people to beta fics, probably breaking them up into chapters is better. That's easy to do when you're writing it yourself. 3000+ words don't appear overnight.

If that 3000+ words is AI slop though, yeah, no one's going to want to beta that. Why should they waste time on something you didn't? That sounds like you wanting everyone else to put in the work instead of yourself. You're just passing the buck.

Ideas have value insomuch as everyone and their dog has ideas. They're a dime a dozen. People don't care that you have ideas. They care about what you DO with them. Giving them to AI to let the AI do something with them is not your work.

Things only have value because time was spent on them. If I craft something, I can label value in terms of cost of materials and labor in an hourly rate. I can do that for writing too. The value of the A03 fics you read is literally based on the time someone took to write it. A 100-hr fic at $15/hr has a value of $1500. That also accounts for the skill and experience of the writer.

If you generate the same fic with AI, it takes zero time and zero effort, so the value is zero. There's no application of skill or experience or knowledge. Even if you were highly skilled enough to rate $30/hr, you multiply by zero. That AI fic is worth nothing.

That's just one example to describe the value of a fic.

But maybe you don't like capturing value in terms of dollars.

It still remains that if you didn't spend your time writing something, nobody else wants to spend time reading it. Why should they give you attention, comments, likes, etc., over something you didn't do? That attention wouldn't belong to you, it would belong to the AI. To everyone else, that fic has zero value.

If you want an AI to crank things out for your personal use, that's up to you and no one can stop you. If you enjoy that and you don't care about getting real results for real time and effort, you do you. Sure, it can have personal value.

But it doesn't have value to anyone else, certainly not enough to warrant time and energy to read, beta, or comment on it, when you yourself didn't want to do anything whatsoever and haven't earned their time.

You want attention for nothing. Real writers enjoy the process of creation.

just saw a fanfic on ao3 have a dedication for chatgpt... that section is meant for your horny perverted mutual who proofread your work, you violated sacred law and you will be torn apart and laid bare btw

[redscreendarkwin]

You would never shift with that mindset All you do is complain and argue with everybody else. You will be forever stucked in this reality grow up and learn what shifting reality is. You're doing more effort in being a limiting person than doing an actual work in shifting. You don't understand how in every reality it's a different past for every race. You sound very inexperienced you mini shifted once and act like you know how this universe works. You are stuck in CR circumstances. This is why your account is flopping instead of posting motivational stuff you complain and create discourse. The universe won't give you award for best in morality you are just nothing(in void way). Too woke you're not educating anyone you just add more problems and limits. But I understand because you're too young and never experienced shifting for a long period of time. Stop focusing on cr. If you affirm you're not in 3d then do it ignore post about race changer if you hate them. I used to be like you before I call out everyone cancel them because we don't have the same moral values but as time passes by I notice I don't see any improvement with my journey all I do is argue with everyone in the comments and not changing my mindset. I tried changing my mindset I accept if I'm consciousnees being aware I can just shift anywhere else where I like it there's an infinite amount of realities don't focus on what you perceive as negative if they race change or date minors you can post about calling them out but that wouldnt change them although you can manifest these type of people won't exist in your reality but in another they still will so all your efforts of calling them out and you're proving them wrong are just a waste of energy and efforts. It is better to pour this effort with shifting and changing your mindset. Try improving your mental health and separating your self with contents that ruin your motivation block everyone else that disagrees with your opinion simple as that don't interact with their energy never post them dont acknowledge them just observe and block these people won't change. You're the one need to change. What i meant by you need a change is to change how you view this people see them as temporary and you will never interact with them once you shift to your desired reality. Don't get attached with the cr circumstances they're just temporary problem of your cr self but you're already living as dr self. The feeling of pain is the memory of past live in pleasure and happiness because you live now as your future dr self already. Tumblr is just an app that helps you communicate and interact with your community it's just an app all this opinions of people don't matter to you because yours matter the most use this app for love about shifting and your dr. these hating negative people can dissappear in just a tiny click of block button choose your moots well.

HELLLPPP, I can't even take you seriously. @mywitchyblog, going on an alt account just to write this shady ass anonymous comment is just well, I would say low but the bar is already in hell.

First off, thank you so much for my first hate ask. Didn't know you were this obsessed. 🤭

Now I'm beginning to realize how you saw my post a while back when I blocked you. You do know you can take your own advice and block me as well instead of getting on an alt just to hate? Better yet, put on your big boy pants and address me directly without anonymity.

And again you fail to comprehend my point but then again this behavior isn't anything new from you. I said that anything can be classified as a limited belief. Just because someone believes one thing doesn't mean they aren't going to shift. Which is why the whole "limited belief" concept is stupid. I don't see race changing or aging yourself down to date minors as morally right because it isn't. That’s my belief. I can call it what it is which is racist and pedophilic. Doesn't mean I'm not going to shift because I minishifted on multiple occasions and there are people out there who hold the same beliefs as me who have shifted for years.

For someone who acts all high and mighty about their journey, you fail to realize that everyone is different and everyone shifts at a different pace. This is how I know you barely know anything about shifting. You just go around saying the popular opinion and never have once had an original thought in your entire life. You're also talking about shit like the universe when it's widely known that the universe isn't gonna make you shift, you do.💀

I also love how you called me woke because I said I didn't want adults to fuck children. I would rather "flop" than have a whole bunch of pedophiles and racists agreeing with me. You're really making a case for yourself. I hope to god I never find myself bragging about how “successful” I am on TUMBLR of all social medias. You’re averaging 12 notes per post, how exactly are you not “flopping” also? I genuinely believe this is the only thing you’ve got going for you.

I'm not stuck in my cr circumstances, I just have morals. Your morals shouldn't change once you get into a different reality. Even if I saw people as temporary that doesn’t mean I can’t address them. With this logic, why should I care about world issues or anything for that matter. I could off someone but guys guys, don’t worry it doesn’t matter because this reality is temporary going by your logic 😱

And even if the limiting beliefs thing did exist you shouldn’t change your morals just to shift. That just says a lot about you and how flip floppy your morals are. There are realities where murder is seen as perfectly ok, doesn't mean I should follow. Me believing that murder is wrong isn't me being stuck in my cr circumstances. Any shifter with a murder dr could turn around and say that you’re wrong for thinking that murder is wrong and you’re “stuck in your cr circumstances”. Do you see how stupid your argument actually is? Can you get that through your skull? I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall here. One thing going in one ear and out the other.

Doesn’t matter how many people you send my way (like last time) because unlike you I actually stick to my morals. You can hop off my tip now. I am a minor after all.

Realize that I BLOCKED you for a reason and going on an alt because I blocked your main is ACTUALLY insane.

You and the counselor are twinning btw:

[v-anrouge]

Just a general analysis of like yi how he would act and stuff

A lot of people seem to think vil is a narcissistic self obsessed asshole who would give ppl eds and insecurities and shit and like as someone who is hyperfixated in him and has read about every content of him available in eng server that i manage to get my hands onto it's just one of the biggest mischaracterizations of vil. his words are always meant to be of encouragement when he criticizes something, his words are rough because as a child that was the way everyone talked to him, he was a young boy thrown in the modeling world and the acting world, and although it was (half) by his choice, having a famous dad he was born in front of the cameras. it's very clear that vil masks and barely shows his emotional side and you can see that this has been going on for YEARS because as a child when he is beat up by a group for being a villain in a movie he didn't cry and just stood up and insulted the kids , a contrast to how he vulnerably asked his father for reassurance on wether or not he was a villain also in his overblot flashback. vil has said it himself multiple times but whenever he assigns a self care routine and a diet to anyone it's always with the best intentions in mind, he doesn't give them a diet so they can lose weight, and he would never, we know that because in his overblot he confessed how much he hated the diets he put himself through but couldn't help it because he was desperate to be seem as beautiful, to finally be enough. vil is a very insecure man, a type of insecurity that is hidden from anyone that doesn't know his heart, and trust me, very little people know his heart. he's not one to trust others easily and once again that probably has to do with the industry around him and people probably trying to ruin his career. vil is an extremely caring and protective person, he takes care of everyone in his dorm and the people outside of it, and he recognizes the value potential and strength in everyone, and he will comment on it when he sees someone with so much of it and wastes it all by never trying, we can see that in multiple times but ill highlight his moments with leona and how he comments on it because he, unlike many in the school, recognizes leona is amazing and extremely talented (id also like to point out leona and vil are extremely similar and have extremely similar trauma just ended up coping w two opposite extremes (leona not trying and vil trying too much)) he is shown to even stay awake late at night to make sure everything is going right with each of his students. a lot of people seem to have the misconception that vil's overblot was caused out of envy for a casting of a simple movie but the truth is the roles were never the problem, it's not like vil has a problem with villains, what he hated is that he only got villain papers because no one ever saw the worth in him to be a hero, no one considered him good enough or fit for the role and would constantly cast all his hard work and passion aside in favor of someone else's (neige's) see how it is? it's never about the actual roles in a movie, what vil craves is validation, is admiral, is being truly loved for who he is, is to have his hard work be seen and recognized and cherished, is to for once in his life not be a second best, that's why he says n his overblot, that for once all he wanted was to stay in the stage until the curtains fall, all he wanted in life, is to be able to stay, and not be thrown away once something better is found to replace him

since you write for x reader im assuming you'd like to know how he'd act with a lover so; vil would even more caring over his lover, constantly checking in on them and fussing about little things in order to make sure they're taking care of themselves and treating themselves right the way they deserve to be treated, for vil to fall in love it takes A LOT of trust in that person so rest assured you'll see sides of vil that nobody but his father have ever seen before, you'll need to be patient because vil has a lot of issues to work through but if you stay by his side, hold his hand and encourage him to better himself like he always did for others vil swears on his own name you'll be the happiest person to ever exist

[steveandthesea]

I'd rather not talk about politics on the Internet since it usually just turns into putrid bile and shit slinging, but here we are.

To my American friends - or even strangers - I am here for anyone who wants to talk. It feels like there is nothing I can do; I have no influence, no money to donate to any causes, but if I can offer any strength or support to anybody, then I will do that.

Please don't sink into despair. Please don't think that this is never going to get better. Please don't think that you're alone.

If you have the strength, then now is the time to gather and unionise. Now is the time for everyone to support each other. Now is the time to check in with your most vulnerable friends and family members.

And if you really have the strength, now is also the time to reach out to those around you who have voted for him; to your family members or friends or colleagues who voted for the man in question, and give them a reason to value you over the choice they have made. Anger and sadness are valid right now, and you absolutely should show your anger to those in power, but if you can face being one-on-one with someone close to you who holds those views, then showing them love, compassion and empathy will do so much more to change their minds. Because if you can find a way to understand why someone thinks the way they do, and if you can listen to them, you'll already be doing more than anyone else does, and you'll have a much better chance of ever changing their mind. Do not waste your time and energy arguing with strangers on the internet. Nobody ever changed their mind because someone else sent them an angry tweet. Challenge and question people's views, ridicule and scrutinise opinions. But do so in a way that invites that person to question themselves, and most of all try to make that person see that you want the best for them too, and let them know that they are welcome in the better future we want to create.

Remember that the vast majority of people who voted for him have shot themselves in the foot. They have been lied to, tricked, deceived into voting for their own misery. They will continue to believe that he is their saviour and that "the other" is the enemy until someone is able to show them otherwise. Many of them are hurting, suffering from the same oppressive system as everyone else and they don't even know it. But they won't change their mind for someone who shows them anger and points the finger at them. Don't make these people your enemies; they are not the enemy. The enemy is the power and the system that has turned us common folk against each other.

I'm under no illusion that this is easy to do. To look in the face of someone who voted for him, someone who holds racist, misogynistic, ableist, homophobic, transphobic views and to calmly offer them your love and support is maybe even impossible for some of us. To keep calm and composed and to show strength and reason in the face of oppression is a huge expectation. Realistically this may only be an option for those of us with more privilege; this is very much work for allies more than women and minorities. But it's important to remember that when you display your anger and hatred towards someone, you do nothing to change that person's opinion, and you only serve to prove the point of the oppressor who paints "the other" as the enemy. That person doesn't cease to exist when you stop talking to them or cut ties with them for their beliefs. They're still out there, and they'll still vote in the next election. Do not be the enemy. Be the voice of reason. Be a source of love.

All the same, also remember that some people are a total fucking lost cause, that it's not your job to educate everyone, and that often that energy could be better spent on the more vulnerable people around you who need that support. Not everyone is going to have the capacity to stay calm and kind in the face of people who literally don't think you should have the right to your own body, or to even exist. Not every person who believes any of that is worth your energy even if you do have it.

But nothing changes until something changes. And if you have the power and strength to change just one person's mind, even just enough to get them to question their ideas, then that's a power that you absolutely should use.

[curio-queries]

I just like reading your thoughts on things, so I'm curious, do you think bts will leave hybe when their contracts end in 2025?

Before 2024, or even just earlier this year, I would've said that question was ridiculous because why in the world would they, but as more comes out related to the legal battle with mhj about what is going on behind the scenes at the company and their incompetency (the leaked document today is especially damning which painted a target on jimn's back while admitting they do nothing about the hate the boys get that gets reported to them), handling of yoongi's situation, jungkook speaking out in a way that did not explicitly support the company, basically ass promotion for their work (the company has learned to rely too heavily on fans doing the footwork for bts), etc. it is kind of making me wonder. K-army across the board pretty much hate hybe and have for a while, everything that comes out just deepens their hate. I do think bts are in a weird position because a lot of the issues are coming from hybe, rather than BH and they seem very close with a lot of the staff who are also intertwined in all this. I also have no idea where they'd go. More and more kpop idols are leaving their agencies and starting their own, but I doubt bts wants to deal with all the business stuff.

Idk, 9 months ago I wouldn't have even considered this question, now I really don't know based on everything we're learning about the company. I do feel bad for jin though, hybe/BH mess plus yoongi's situation have kept bts' name being constantly dragged through the mud since he was discharged. I've been an army since 2016/2017 and I don't think I've experienced a period this bad. I hope all the boys are doing ok right now, I've seen some people say they're glad in they're in the military right now just to be away from all this, but at the same time I imagine it feels awful to be that helpless watching this stuff go down and you can't speak out or defend yourself or each other.

Hi anon,

Thank-you for sending this in; I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you with my answer though...or non-answer more like.

So, the short answer to your question is that I choose to have no opinion. I'll put the reason why below a cut so anyone not interested can pass:

There was a vlogbrothers video years ago about the concept of giving up having opinions on things and I've fully embraced this idea. Basically the idea is making an active decision to not hold an opinion on something. The example they give I think was about other people's m&m flavour preference? Something like that? But have you ever had the experience where someone shares a benign preference like them preferring the peanut m&ms over all of the other flavours and someone else respond with shock about they could prefer different one from you. Having an opinion on someone else's preference over something so trivial adds absolutely no value to your own life experience so it's just wasted energy.

Once I started noticing these kinds of inconsequential opinions that I was holding, and had practice in giving them up, I was also better able to recognize situations where an opinion on my part would just disturb my personal peace unnecessarily.

Back to your question about BTS possibly moving companies in light of the current drama. This is such a large issue that requires some specific insight. At minimum, here's what I would want to consult with an someone more knowledgeable on:

Landscape of the music industry in Korea both past and present

BTS's involvement in the actual hierarchy of the companies involved.

Knowledge of the current events surrounding the investigation

Confidence in the quality of translations

Cultural context

There's more but this is what's sticking in my brain right now. And all of these areas are so far outside the scope of my knowledge that I realized just how much work it would be for me to even feel somewhat confident and informed in making an opinion. When everything started unfolding, I had to make a conscious decision whether to dig in enough that I could get to that point. I recognized that I just don't have the energy or time to really do my due diligence in this area.

My engagement in kpop beyond just listening to the music is wholly an escape. If it ever gets to the point where I'm not ultimately being uplifted, I will stop engaging. Life is hard enough as it is without adding further burden from something that's supposed to be entertainment. So I'm purposefully not planning to delve further into these speculations.

I will give one piece of advice for anyone that is engaging in this. Be very mindful of the sources that you are listening to and try to become aware of what they may have to gain from presenting the events from either perspective. There was a while where I was getting fed some videos of people talking about it in my algorithms but there was always something that didn't sit right with the various viewpoints being presented, no matter which side was presenting it.

I've definitely seen some parallels between this situation and the endless 'discussions' regarding whether the members would receive exemption from their military service. It was so peaceful no longer being subject to that topic once the announcement was made.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on the subject. I hope you find some people that are able to engage in this discussion in the way you're looking.

[slocumjoe]

Companions react to the Scorched Plague

Ada; Sent on supply and scavenging runs, gets what's needed and takes it where it needs to go. When she's not doing that, joins hunting parties and gets deep in the fray. She can't get infected—the squishy humans can. Ada is joined by Codsworth pretty frequently. At the end of it, keeps a Scorched Beast tooth in her home (whatever it may be) as a souvenir.

Cait; One of the first to join the Scorched Beast hunting parties. She recognizes a 'all hands on deck' situation when she sees it. And when the usual monsters of the waste give way to crystallized husks, working as one mind hell-bent on destruction? Fuck it. If it takes her out, she'll have taken out far more. Danse gives her a sweet suit of Power Armor and she wears out the knuckle joints a lot. Why shoot when you can punch, right?

Curie; You can't pull her away from her labs, her medical bays. Curie works herself to the bone and then some, trying to find a cure, a prevention, anything. She still ends up having to restock her ammo, when her patients or test subjects succumb and have to be put down. It's the hardest thing Curie has ever gone through. She doesn't come out the same person.

Codsworth; Bounces many different jobs. Ferries supplies, tends to the wounded and sick, feeds the civilians...he's a nervous wreck, but determined. He's often sent into infection hotzones with other robots, who can't get infected. Ada and him make a good duo, together. If only the decontamination process didn't rust him so badly...

Danse; On the outside, he's in Paladin mode. Barking orders, leading hunting parties, rarely does Danse stop firing at something. But internally, holy shit, this man is terrified. The Brotherhood is familiar with this plague, but if they couldn't stop it before, how could they now? He's the first to give an inspirational, do-or-die speech, and the last person to believe it. Makes Power Armor for anyone who'll join the cause. Ends up really bonding with Cait and X6-88 over the duration of the epidemic.

Deacon; keeps an eye on the wandering packs, the trails he finds of the Beasts, and points the hunting parties at them. The Railroad, for once, joins the fray. Instead of moving just synths, they move everyone into safe areas. He's not as nervous as other people; he can't be. Panic isn't going to keep people safe. Deacon stops cutting and dying his hair, pretending to be someone else. Staring at the Scorched, watching their individuality melt away into one mindless, all-thinking husk...you learn to value who you are. Even if you don't always like yourself, at least you are yourself.

Dogmeat; is trained to sniff out the plague, both in people yet to be taken over, and the hordes of Scorched. Dogmeat gets passed around to whoever needs his nose—Deacon takes him for tracking the Beasts, Curie has him find infected, Preston has him herd the Scorched into a nice, easy place for Artillery to rain down on. When all is said and done, is fed the highest quality meats while he catches up on his naps.

Gage; Bye, fuckers! He grabs as much as he can, finds a nice, cozy little bunker somewhere, and happily plans the rest of his life there. Starts gardening, like a Minuteman nerd. It's open season if someone opens the door. If the world ends a second time, Gage will watch it with bottle-cap sunglasses, and a glass of home-brewed mutfruit wine in hand. Will have a crisis over how much he likes the simple, quiet farming life. Has to get dragged kicking and screaming to leave his bunker, convinced there'll be a second wave or something.

Hancock; Debates leaving Goodneighbor. Loves his town, but they're not the kind of folks to...y'know. Quarantine, practice safe sex, not get into weird substances they find...he sticks by them though. Everyone gets armor and masks to cover up, keep the plague off them. There's a strict curfew, neighborhood watch delivers supplies to each building. Hancock has Kent work with Piper, keep the airwaves pumping out information and news as it comes. Hancock himself works with MacCready. Keeps off the chems to not dull his senses. Has a giant, week long party in Goodneighbor afterwards.

MacCready; Helps Goodneighbor get supplies in. Travels exclusively by rooftop if he can help it. Daisy sets him up with a long-distance radio so he can get word to Kent, Travis Miles in DC, and the Minutemen ASAP. A very valuable agent in the mess. Hancock watches his back as he scopes out the hordes and picks them off. Duncan draws pictures of his dad shooting down Scorched Beasts; they stay on the fridge long after the Plague is dealt with.

Nick; Travels with Piper as she investigates and reports the movement of the plague. Since he's immune, he ventures into the hotbeds of the plague, where Piper would get infected. Nick takes note of the appearance of individual Scorched, hoping to tell their worried loved ones what became of them. He leaves pamphlets of these descriptions at the agency, printed in the Publick Occurances alongside the news. Once the dust settles, burns all of his clothes; can't risk them being contaminated. Diamond City gets him a nice new trench coat as thanks for everything.

Old Longfellow; Takes point at settlements and safe zones. Whenever he's posted, not a single Scorched get within a mile of the area and leaves it alive. They start piling up at some point. He shoots down a Scorched Beast all on his own and bars everywhere are doomed to hear it echoed throughout eternity. Old Longfellow ends up teaching Minutemen rookies some tricks while on guard duty with them. Gets yelled at for giving them booze.

Piper; Chases the hordes, the infection zones, the Beasts, and stops only to write the info and news. She teams with the radio hosts of the Commonwealth, Travis and Kent Connolly, to deliver immediate warnings. The Brotherhood, Railroad, Minutemen—Piper is their top source of information. She could never truly fathom how important her work is, and how many people it saved. After the plague, she writes a book about the experience.

Preston; It is difficult to describe how hard this man works. He's giving rationing orders to a settlement while in a firefight across the state. He's making decisions about an assault ten different assaults away while hitting Beasts out of the air with Artillery. He's like a workaholic octopus. It's kind of incredible. Consumes only coffee and whatever someone else can shove in his face while he uses his hands for something else. The General has to chase him down and tranq him so he sleeps. Like Curie, fundamentally changed. Loses all of his hinges through it all.

X6-88; The plague effects Gen3 synths, so he has to don full-coverage armor and forgo his sunglasses. Deeply upset by this. Coursers, once rare to see and rarer to survive, are everywhere hunting the Beasts. X6-88 gives Institute info to Piper when he can get away with it. He hates the wasteland already—he doesn't want it getting worse. At least the topside scum aren't possessed by weird zombie bats. X6 joins Danse's teams, brings Curie samples, and when all is over, breaks into Gage's bunker and drags him out to rejoin society, as per the Sole Survivor's orders.

[abyssal-werewolf]

choking on words - part 1

"a visitor? how unexpected"

putting my feelings into words seems to be simply impossible. I have this burning, gnawing pressure in my chest and nothing I do seems to release it. so I am trying something new, trying to use music as a way to get my words to the other side. this might be incomprehensible in parts, I am just going with the flow, and be as raw as possible. this is a window right into my heart and soul, this is vulnerable. I need to make myself vulnerable.

"reverse the thoughts in my mind and see them chakras inflated. I hope to carry it all in my head, I'm all out to fake it"

who am I? that question stands unanswered, even after years and years of searching. I'm a werewolf, I know what I am, but not who. what does all of this mean? how do my values, morals, experiences, feelings and scars become someone? there's a cold, dead void right where a person should be and I can't seem to fill it. all I pour in falls staright into the abyss. I mean, I logically know I am someone and I can identify my characteristics and all of that, but the void is never satisfied.

"got my prescriptions so vancant, like gone. when I wanna leave praise the sun, when I wanna need patience to cope with the cost - evasion, numb"

I feel like a fraud, an impostor and the deeper I look into myself, the colder I feel. I wonder how it all ties together. the thing is, most of the time I don't even feel bad about feeling void. In a way, I became the void. I am my own emptiness and being a werewolf seems to play into that. I am so heavily tied to anger and rage, hating everything and wanting to run and run forever, leaving things behind I don't even know. I don't know what I'm running from, just that I am, I need to.

"I got replacements in my pack, no love if they don't come back. I see them burning, no passion, just a furnace until they're ash"

we're spiralling around each other, me and the void, me and the monster, gravitating towards the other and in the end ripping each other apart. not able to exist alone, but also not together, and yet, there is only me - I am the monster. I never could relate to those who find silliness and happiness in their nonhumanity. while I am proud and happy to be a werewolf, I do not find happiness as a werewolf. it is a direct manifestation of my trauma, of unresolved and unreleased pain - and so much rage.

"don't wanna see deceit, don't wanna see their seed. proceed, I mean it, they're all waste to me"

being nonhuman is so much more to me than just... being nonhuman. right now, I don't only feel like a werewolf, but I feel dead, eternal, nonexisting and trancending my whole being all at once. it feels like there's an orb of dark energy sitting in my chest, sending waves through me and all matter, making me float and sink to the bottom, making me feel so powerful and like nothing matters, everything and nothing. it's ripping at the edges of my whole being and I can't tell where I begin and end. interestingly, it's not a bad feeling. I just feel incredibly alone. it doesn't feel like anyone, ever will really understand.

"always searching for something I cannot explain. will have you left on the outside - well, I'm not here"

the only thing that seems to be canalizing my raw emotions is music. the feelings some songs give me, if I could make sure someone else would feel exactly the same I do when listening to them, i would know they'd understand me. they'd get it. but I can't be sure of that - and so, I will remain alone. I've always felt alone, deep down. it's just this sinking feeling nobody will ever truly know me, because putting some feelings into words is just impossible - that doesn't mean I am lying to people, there are some very few people in my life who I completely unmask about. but there is this lingering feeling that it is simply impossible to me to truly, fully open myself up.

"I know I'm locked inside, not here. I know I'm locked inside, no glass unbroken, I peer through"

and I honestly think that is a thing which applies to literally everyone, the human language is limited in its capacities - I just wonder why I seem to care so deeply about this fact. explaining myself through nonhumanity is the closest I can get, other nonhumans will always be the ones who understand me best (aside from my boyfriend, the connection I have with him is the best and realest I've ever had with anyone). but still, I can only use words to describe myself, how do you apply something so mundane as words to a conceptual feeling that extends your own mind?

"where's my profit now? with no rear view, all my mistakes go to Medusa. waste away with seasons I'm used to"

the intesting part is, although all of this must seem like a vent, it is not. every time I dig into myself, I get closer to the void, and drift away from myself - dissociation, depersonalisation. but... not really. it's like I said, it's everything and nothing at once. I feel extremely grounded, yet extremely out of it but I love this feeling - and feel nothing about it. the point is, the point I am trying to desperately to make, is that I'm more - more than human, more than a werewolf, more than nothing. but this "more"-feeling can not be described.

"and I'll be swallowing centipedes, just to gather a day. and I can tolerate emptiness, all to tread on new planes"

all of this, all of the above is the reason why I struggle so hard to make posts about my nonhumanity. there is a feeling sitting in my chest and I want to tell other's about it, but when I try to get it out... there are no words. if I make posts, I want to make them meaningful - at least to me, I need to feel like I am actually contributing something, and not just talk about shifts, when they're so daily and... insignificant to me, in the big picture. I want to talk about experiences, true experiences. maybe this technique right here might help, even tho it will all get rambly as hell.

"in my Fountainhead Palace"

[egg-emperor]

I feel like Eggman wouldn't bother with a relationship even if the other person worshipped and served him perfectly

In the rare chance Eggman genuinely saw value in having someone else around, he still probably wouldn't waste time trying to manipulate or swoon them. He'd probably zap them with an instant brainwashing/corruption device, use them however he wants for whatever period of time, and throw them out when he gets bored.

If for whatever reason the doctor chooses to leave their being in tact, he'd never give them any kind of acknowledgment unless it's specifically something that benefits him.

The only important thing is that he's getting worshipped and praised. He doesn't care if it's willing or unwilling.

Oh definitely, I love aromantic Eggman and he'll never care for a relationship and want a genuine deep meaningful one lol. Everyone he works with has always been temporary to him, to serve a purpose in serving him and doing his dirty work for him to benefit selfishly, and then discarding them when he's done. Doesn't matter how loyal and loving and well performing they are, he'll never see them as more than pawns to use for his success, toys to play with and break, and subordinates to order around until they're no longer of use to him, it never lasts.

He has been known to manipulate people to side with him ever since his first team up with a living being with Knuckles, and the latest example of it to keep any form of a relationship sweet for the sake of their use to him is Sage. But it's always on those conditions and he usually always drops them in the end. It can be because they fail or betray him but even in cases they don't, like Knuckles and Infinite who stuck with him in loyalty, as soon as the dirty work is done and he gets what he wanted or just no longer sees use in them, he'll still get rid of them

He has seen manipulation as a good working method in a few cases in the games though. I also feel that, unlike actual mind control, his ability to manipulate minds through his own actions and words gives him a sense of more personal control and power that he desires and takes pride in for using his sly cunning skill to corrupt the mind and use it for evil. He loves playing people for fools which makes him feel like the genius in control with power over them mentally and he likes how he can laugh about it in their face later, like with Emerl.

He wouldn't try to swoon anyone much, he may briefly attempt to work his charm to lure someone in before he brings out harsher or crueler methods but I think in his mind he doesn't believe he has to try because he's so perfect, handsome, intelligent, charming, and lovable in a delightfully diabolical villainous way effortlessly all the time, so he doesn't feel he has to act to accomplish that. And if they don't want to accept the truth they'll have to when he takes over the world by force, one way or another the whole world will know one day anyway XD

But yeah he's definitely not going to waste time putting the effort in to manipulate if he doesn't see it as worth it and the most optimal method to get his victim on his side. He is also interested in full on mind control and corruption to the point he has attempted to mind control the entire planet, so I can see him jumping right to using a device to mind control people to do it much quicker with much less time and effort when he feels it's the best option, he does enjoy being able to decide and control what they think and how they act 100% literally.

But I feel he wouldn't want absolutely every member of his empire and worshipper to be completely mindless, he'd also get a lot of satisfaction in forcing it through threat and cruelty only, so while they still have a desire for free will they have no choice and will always be aware of how he stripped it away and are helpless, forever aware of his power over them so they know he's won. And it gives him the genuine attention and possibly admiration he also desires, as it may feel he has no real audience for it if none are conscious anymore.

He has attempted lies, manipulation, and propaganda to lure in the masses too but I don't think he'd play it up for long, once it brings them in he'll immediately show his true colors but they can't turn back because he'll trap them in it by either keeping them under his thumb with threat and fear and/or mind control. After all, the way he tried to come across as good and friendly with his Interstellar Park in Colors for example was just a cover and attempt to gain trust in the meantime for his plan to eventually use his mind control cannon on Earth.

As for the very rare chance someone genuinely admires him for who he is and not the lies and propaganda, as I feel a lot who think they do (like a bunch of rl Eggman fans) couldn't handle him if they met him because he's such a terrible person lol, I feel that he would enjoy playing around with them without using full on mind control. Instead seeing how far he can take them in their admiration, how useful he can make them, and how far he can corrupt them all with his cunning charm and manipulation to craft the perfect servant. It would be a fun game to him.

But I don't see him putting in tons of effort to manipulate and swoon them, I think over time he'd reveal more and more just how terrible he really is and that they're not really an exception to his cruelty and they'll always be beneath him like all the rest. That he doesn't have to treat them nicely and earn their admiration and service, he deserves it anyway and demands it and they have to obey because he said so and he's the one with all the power and control, so they have to learn to take it and not complain if they don't want punishment.

I mean he is playing into what Sage wants with the family dynamic as a way to maintain her loyalty and efficiency a little in ways that can seem sweet by are very conditional and manipulative- but at the same time doesn't hide how terrible he is in terms of evilness in wanting to take over the world and rule his evil empire, hating and wanting to kill Sonic and friends, and how he'll yell at her if she doesn't do exactly what he wants, and she has to side with him despite all that and luckily she does because of her genuine undying devotion despite it.

So I can see him using similar tactics on other willing servants. Sometimes he might play into and say and do what they want to hear to gain trust and bring them in closer and make them more attached to make them sink deeper into his trap but there won't be much heart and effort and certainly no genuine care in it at all. They have to be the kind of person that will appreciate and treasure even the little things just because it's coming from him as their superior brilliant almighty ruler, which will also prove to him if they're promising in the use they can be to him.

I think it would give him a huge power trip and ego boost as he could use it as a testament to how he can be genuinely so admirable and willingly worshipped like he's also always desired and believed himself to be with his massive ego. It's just that he can and will happily use force and threat to get it and he will also still use it on the subjects he manipulates too to keep them in his clutches, he'll never be completely kind and warm to anyone. All that matters is that he crafts the perfect servant for him and he'll enjoy doing so through mindfuckery.

I think he would also enjoy getting to use them to set an example for how everyone should be under his rule whether it started out of willingness like them (but might change when they realize how terrible he is and he becomes more cruel but are now trapped and have no choice), or how they'll be forced to be if they don't comply with it by threat and violence or total mind control. I'm imagining that he's going to do the same with Sage being the "favorite child" of his, who is as obedient and useful as he desires and knows how to take cruelty from him and will remain loyal as they undying love and devotion for him + his manipulation seals her in.

But like always, he's not really attached, he's not nice to them and trying to make them swoon all the time as he will enforce it through violence and cruelty too, and he doesn't plan on keeping them around and will rid of them when he's done. Or if he does keep them around, he might end up mind controlling them eventually to make sure there's never a chance of their loyalty changing because he won't trust anyone long term but it will be fun playing with them for a while with them conscious until then. That's a way to combine the methods.

That's also very true with him not giving them acknowledgement unless it's something that benefits him specifically. Those are the same conditions with Sage as he only praises her when she does exactly what he wants. It also pushes them to work super hard just to get the smallest amount of his recognition or very rare praise when they're satisfactory enough, which again is actually only really for selfish self beneficial reasons for what he's getting out of it and how it will further encourage them to serve. Not that there's a choice either way!

But yeah absolutely it doesn't actually matter to him if they want to serve him or not because he doesn't care about them and will happily force them. He takes what he wants whenever he wants because he's Eggman and nothing will stop him. And one of my favorite things is how he'll do anything to get it with many methods such as violence, manipulation, mind control, and more, all of which are messed up and evil. I love his cunning trickery and outright cruelty and how there's always deeply sinister reasons behind it either way >:)

[donnerpartyofone]

I was supposed to do some pretty important stuff today with a moderate complication level, but I can't because I have to spend every single waking minute looking for things I lost. This is what most days of my life are like. Today it all started with me taking the initiative to find out if anyone will give me the medication that prevents me from having to waste entire days of my life doing nothing but lose things. I got all ready to leave the house and then I remembered something I wanted to take with me. So then I went looking for that thing, and I started finding things I've been looking for for months, which were of course in the places I already looked and even "oragnized" several times, which is a bad feeling. And then I started finding things that I didn't even know were lost, which is also a bad feeling. And then I found the thing I originally wanted, which was in a location I recently "organized" and I was sooo proud of myself at the time, and I realized that I'm missing the most absurd thing of all, which is a fucking ORGANIZER. I got this big heavy duty insert for my largest bag, which includes a laptop sleeve and all these little convenient pockets. I would have assumed that this item was inside the bag that I specifically bought it for. After that I would have assumed that it was at least in proximity to my other bags. After that I would have assumed it was with our totes and grocery bags. After that I would have assumed it was with the luggage and winter stuff that I recently "organized". After that I would have assumed that it was somewhere in my clothes/laundry, which I have been sorting/washing/putting away in a continuous cycle for months. After that I would have assumed it was in our tiny closet which I recently "organized". Now I'm looking in places that are totally ridiculous because that's what's left. Luckily nothing that I SHOULD HAVE put in this organizer was actually in there where it belonged, or else I would be seriously fucking fucked right now--or actually maybe I would have realized right away that I lost this thing with my keys in it or whatever, and then right away I would have at least had a better idea of where to look for it and had a better chance of locating it. I'm developing this terror that I had it with me somewhere public and absent-mindedly took it out to get something out of it, and then just walked away from it, never to think of it again. I really wish that it were some other object, just because I can't handle the idea that I'm not responsible enough to take care of something that I specifically got to help myself be more responsible.

I can't be trusted with anything. If I were split in two so that there was a separate person who had all my bad (and extremely prominent and future-determining) personality traits--the constant losing things, the constantly getting lost, the constantly breaking things, the constantly flaking on everything, the constant wasting money to fix the constant mistakes--people would tell me, "You should phase that person out. They're holding you back and ruining all your shit. They can't be trusted, so don't trust them." And that would be rational. But when you are the person who can't be trusted, everyone tells you that you have to love yourself, because...well don't ask, you're not supposed to ask, you're just supposed to do it. How are you supposed to love someone you can't trust? Well that's not important. We don't care that in order to love someone who is ruining your life you have to undermine your own values and change your whole idea of what love even is, that's going to have to be fine because we say so. Because you're a bad person if you don't. And if you exhibit any pain or fear related to the fact that you're constantly ruining everything no matter how hard you try to improve and become a better person, then everyone tells you you're being a perfectionist and that's the only reason that you feel bad. Because supposedly your standards are just so epically high. But that's easy to say when you're actually functional, it's easy to say when you're at least scraping by with a passing grade in Normal Stuff. But let's say something like, you had to drive to work, and you had to spend all day turning the key until your car finally started up and you just about made it to the end of the driveway just in time for your shift to be over so then you just backed up and turned off the car and went back inside, knowing that tomorrow would be exactly the same--if you were upset about that, people would not tell you that you were just being a perfectionist. They would not tell you that your standards are too high and that you should love the car no matter what. If you were mad and scared about the consequences of having to count on this car, nobody would make you feel like you had no right to your feelings. And yet. AND YET.

Anyway I'm venting this out on the laptop because I lost my phone in the process of looking for the organizer. So you can probably guess what I'll be doing for the rest of the day. I don't know how I'm ever supposed to get a job again and I already feel sorry for whoever is forced to hire me. I'm really scared.

[yellow-sprouts]

I want to write a story where the main charecter is one of those classic "Chosen one" archetypes. They were no one- shunned by their neighbors and abandoned by their people- then the former heros come along claiming that A is part of some grand prophecy.

They are taken to paradise - suddenly surrounded by friends and mentors - and for once in their life, they feel SEEN. But it also feels conditional - of course, they push those hesitations aside because they have a job to do in taking down BBG. They don't feel up to the task - who are they to take down BBG when they're some nobody who just so happens to be "gifted" by a God they don't believe in.

But what about when they finally meet BBG? Not in the middle of some battle - but heading back to their camp after the rest of their friends stay out partying - just saying they were tired and wanted to sleep. They run into BBG in the woods, which introduces themselves, and of course, A freaks out. But seeing BBG has no imminent incentive to hurt them, they hear them out.

The main villain wasn't born powerful. They were cunning, crafted, and forged an empire, They tell the hero this, their stories seeming all too similar.

"You're right, you know - you * aren't * some sort of secret weapon... you're just a kid. One who was targeted by these fallen heros and molded into what they wished themselves to be, you're smart, so im sure you've noticed it too.

How you always seem to be pushed towards what *they* want and expect of you

Do you really think that any of your so-called friends would even bother giving you the loose coins in their pouches if you weren't this divine chosen one? They don't care about you. They care about the person they imagine you to be, nothing more.

You're the sacrificial lamb to their agendas... be smarter than that - and don't be wasted down to some vessel they pump power into and discard once you've fulfilled your purpose"

"So that gives you three options- either you follow through with this and hope the friends you made in this short time, are as true as they present themselves to be, as if they'd pay you any mind if you were just **you** and not the chosen one

Or you could go home. You could throw in the towel and admit that this is more than you can handle - I assure you I wouldn't fault you for it- and neither should anyone else not ready to take the responsibility in your place

**Or**

You could join me.

All that power and training would be a waste to just go back to that miserable life you lived before, but with me? You will Forge your *own* destiny - not as some Chosen one - but as my right hand in the dawn of a new era"

The Villian was right - it wasn't a matter of the hero growing into what the "chosen one" was supposed to be. He could have easily been one of thousands, but here he had a chance to take fate by its reins and change the world for those thousands left behind.

"I don't expect you to choose right away - it's a lot I know - and you'd be seen as the new enemy to your friends. But you've been gifted. You have your past that shaped you, and you have the power and opportunity to demand change for the injustice these elites would rather sweep under the rug. It's easier to put one man's head on a pike than save millions from a system built against them from day one"

Anyway that's just a random dabble- but I'm very invested in the idea of the chosen one not just "getting over" their past. Knowing that fate could've just as easily picked someone else. They can either follow the "Heros" path their being nudged on, accept the new life at face value and maintain it with the condition that they prove useful enough in saving the world.

OR They can use the power they've gained and choose their own path, one far more uncertain but one that they have personal agenda in seeing played out. They've seen the suffering and know that killing BBG will just cause a rise to another.

AKA GIVE ME CUNNING HERO WHO REFUSES TO BE "BOUGHT IN" BY SUPERFICIAL FRIENDSHIPS AND LAVISH LIFESTYLES THAT HE WOULD HAVE BEEN DENIED HAD HE BEEN ANYONE ELSE.

[nsfwhiphop]

Incoming Text for Chloë Sevigny (@chloessevigny):

Dear Chloë Sevigny,

I want to give you an important update to help you find a team that will support you and stand against anyone trying to use intimidation tactics to subdue you. Remember, it’s the apocalypse, and having trustworthy friends around you is essential to defend yourself.

You should reach out to my good friend Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu); she’ll stand by you if you ever feel overwhelmed or bullied by the mean girls in Hollywood.

It’s crucial to remember this: "There are two groups of women today:

The Mean Girls who support the Anti-Christ.

The Team-Jesus-Church-Girls who reject and resist the Anti-Christ.

I know you’re in the Church Girls team, so choose your friends wisely—if you’re in the wrong group, you’ll waste time and energy avoiding their corruption.

So, don’t forget to call Gabrielle Union, Zoe Saldana, and your old friend Rosario Dawson. These three women will have your back if you’re ever bullied.

I’ll also reach out to Delphine Arnault and ask her to look out for you, because, as you know, you’re my future wife. We’ll get married someday—not now, but in the future, likely in the 2030s—but you deserve to be protected now.

That’s why I’m encouraging you to choose your circle wisely. A lot of Hollywood’s mean girls want to hurt the women in my life, so stay cautious.

No one will come between us. I love you, my dear Chloë. I’ll always be your ally, no matter what. You give me heart palpitations that no one else can—what’s the word? Right, “sprung.” I think I’m sprung.

MEANING: "Sprung" is a slang term that means to be deeply infatuated or captivated by someone, often to the point of being completely enamored or obsessed. When someone says they're "sprung," it implies that this person has such strong feelings that they can't help but think about or be drawn to the other person, usually in a romantic or affectionate way.

You’re one of a kind, and that’s how I feel about you. You have achieved so much more than many women could, and you hold a very special place in my heart.

I admire and love you because I know how hard you resist. That’s why I’m so infatuated with you; I see a warrior spirit in you. So many women give up the fight easily, but not you—you’ve never given up. I see your struggle, even when no one else does, and I know how much strength you put into resisting corruption.

A few months ago, I shared the story of Drea de Matteo (@dreadematteo), another woman who resists and rejects that same corruption. You should reach out to her; ask her about her experiences and how she resisted the corruption of the Anti-Christ's regime.

Their tactics are always the same: first, they offer women money; then, they persecute them, pushing them to abandon their Christian morals and eventually their Christian faith. This is how they persecute Christian women and men around the world, leading them through trials and tribulations step-by-step.

I could go on, but I’ll leave it here.

Take care, my dear Chloë Sevigny. I love you and always will.

Angelo (Crown Prince)

P.S.:

Synopsis of the Letter:

In this letter, Angelo, the Crown Prince, writes to Chloë Sevigny, offering her support and guidance amidst challenging times. He warns her about intimidation tactics used by “mean girls” in Hollywood, advising her to align with trustworthy friends like Gabrielle Union, Zoe Saldana, and Rosario Dawson, who will stand by her. He highlights the divide between those who support and resist the Anti-Christ, affirming Chloë’s role as a “Church Girl” who stands against corruption. He expresses admiration for her strength, likening her to a warrior who resists societal pressure to abandon her values. To further bolster her resilience, he encourages Chloë to reach out to Drea de Matteo, another actress who has faced similar struggles. Angelo assures Chloë of his unwavering loyalty and affection, affirming their future together while encouraging her to stay vigilant and protected.

[the-anonymous-vent-blog]

(using they/them for anonymitys sake)

i'm so fucking pissed realizing there's been a person i've been emotionally abused by /for years/ now, up unto including them painting themselves as a 'reasonable person'-- apparently me telling me that i'd at the time blocked a mutual friend is 'completely out of line', but now they can just passive aggressively leave all mutual servers we're in like /i'm/ the one chasing them out? i HAVE to be the one scared of if I'M making YOUR space hostile, even if i'm not DOING ANYTHING BUT EXIST? FUCK YOUFUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU HOLY SHIT GODDAMN. it's only hit me now how much like a fucking unstable animal this person treated me like just for having mental illness, but then they're allowed to be as unstable and completely out of line as much as they want.

like. from the bottom of my heart.

fuck you. fuck you so hard. i'm so pissed i wasted so much time on someone who seemed to find more value in me /groveling at their feet/ and me feeling shame, and the moment i have more confidence and move is when suddenly they ramp the heat up and have to make me feel bad about getting out of my own situation.

i'm so pissed realizing all this but it's also a breath of fresh air having all this guilt burn up into a realization of no, they've been shitty for a long time, i can just let go and not give a fuck about someone who, quite frankly? probably would have been relieved if i disappeared from how they treated me.

fuck you. i'm so much happier without you. i don't even want this person to mald or anything if like, they look at me.

i just wanna live my life happily without them and their mind games and apparent obsession of being on top and 'the cool more reasonable one'.

like you can't just surprise pikachu face when i finally walk away after a long time coming of power dynamic situations and excuses to make everything about them, but making it so fucking extremely uncomfortable for anyone else to ever have any emotions or bad days.

fuck. you. i'm tired of having been so afraid that /you/ would feel pushed out of a server /my partner ran/ just because /you/ keep making it seem like i'm pushing you out of social spaces /when you're doing this to yourself you dumb cunt/.

you're a speck in my life now. _I_

Fuck Yeah!

I'm hella proud you can leave them behind! Don't ever back down!

[mangodestroyer]

Anyone else regret going to college right out of high school?

Seriously wish I'd waited a few years and just got some work experience instead, to see what the real world is all about. While in the meantime, seriously pushing myself to do some career research.

I mean, I was at the top of my hs class and just assumed that me being good at math and science, and just picking whatever STEM field has the most jobs, would be the easiest and most secure bet for me. I also assumed that going straight to a rigorous engineering school, without prep or life experience, would work out.

Instead, I've become one of THOSE students who have switched majors a few times, AND schools. Took a couple breaks. STILL not entirely sure what I want to do. AND I passed the mark for graduating within four years.

And I've done extensive research on math jobs I can get with my background. I've already learned all the math that could possibly be considered useful to employers (outside of some rigorous study in differential equations, advanced calc, and statistics). So unless I really, REALLY want to go into academia, or shoot for a prestigious role in computer science, getting through theoretical math is really only worth if for the practice in logic exercises and for building a foundation, and should only be done as a hobby.

Not only that, but having a strong foundation in math isn't enough. You need to also learn a lot of programming, or you need to specialize in something like finances or engineering.

I know it's not really that big a deal. Like I said, I've taken so many college level courses in applied math. More than enough to have a minor in it. And literally, everything I've read said that employers are going to take that over someone who hasn't even touched calc 1 (if both candidates have the same qualifications otherwise). It definitely wasn't a waste of time. But I'm also not so sure I want to struggle for a few more semesters through rigorous proof writing courses when learning abstract math is just more fun when other people are doing the work. Especially if I did fine through a lot of the other math courses which, again, are useful. And ended up enjoying those more. I think I'd rather spend those last two years doing something that's more employable. At this point, I'd graduate within the same amount of time if I just transferred to something involving lots of applied math.

Also, I haven't taken an in person class in almost three years. As an introvert, I was okay with this for the longest time. Now... not so much. I don't know how we did it during COVID. I am now starting to understand why people hated it so much.

Honestly, good for the people who just knew what they wanted to do and got right to it/through it within a short span of time. But also, I totally get it now when adults, growing up, would talk about how they switched majors/careers a few times before finally settling on something. Also, I used to be a shitty teenager who thought flunking out of college was lazy and stupid (I bought into the whole "college degrees give you value in society" bs). Now, I don't even judge people if they drop out when they were close to graduating. Although a part of me still wants them to just go back and FINISH since they're so close.

[hisui-apparently]

{{ (@works-of-magic) OC asks, if you don't mind!

5: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

6: Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

15: What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work?

(I'm also curious about 23-27, but if that's too many, just the first three would be fun!)

[[So many I'm so excited!!]]

[[I'm rambling a lot so it's going under the cut.]]

[[Remy isn't a huge public speaker, since their social anxiety tends to get in the way. But, if they were to make a speech, they'd probably record it, and it would be something motivational. Super cheesy, super genuine, and super helpful for the people that need it. Probably something directed towards one friend in particular, but figured it wouldn't hurt for other people to hear it as well.]]

[[They hate taking advice from people, despite them needing it a lot of the time. The only people they will ever ask for advice if their struggling with homework or just general life stuff are their Team (mostly Vax, since he probably knows them better than anyone) and their mom (they'll initially be mad at her suggestion, usually because she's right).

And no matter how good the advice is, and how much they need that good advice, they will never take it from a person of authority. Teachers? Absolutely not. Police? Don't make them laugh. Gym Leaders? More likely, but still no. The literal Champions of any region? Those words are going in one ear and out the other. The only authority figures they will ever listen to are nurses. Not doctors. Nurses.]]

[[The biggest waste of time (derogatory) to them is either making the bed (literally what is the point) or going out of your way to be malicious. You're insulting that guy for no reason? He's just standing there and being a person? What the hell is your problem? Taking time out of your day just to be mean? They will have no problem sending Venom over to Bite the bully. The capital letler is intentional.

The biggest waste of time (complimentary) to them is reading fanfiction or just reading fictional literature. It wastes time, and they could be way more productive, but it's fun, and they enjoy it. They know it's a waste of time, but they like it.]]

[[23: Stability or novelty? In psychology? Novelty. Their mind will wander, whether they like it or not, and while they attempt to concentrate, they will daydream. They're an organized mess, in which they know where everything is, but it looks so much like clutter to anyone else. They're very open, very inspired, and while they struggle with creativity (which they blame on their aphantasia), they still find joy in what original things they create.]]

[[24: Honesty or charity? That's a bit more situational. With friends, they value honesty and integrity above all else, and if that means telling a harsh truth, they will call any friend out on their bullshit. But they also assume that others are the same and will tell the truth, and in that, they're very giving and charitable. They know that the person could be lying just to get money, but what if they're not? They'd rather the money go to someone who may use it for bad than risk keeping it from someone who will use it for their next meal.]]

[[25: Safety or possibility? Possibility. Do they stay home and become a hermit because there's a possibility they could get hurt going outside? No. They take every day as it is, and whatever happens, happens. They're take precautionary measures, of course, such as learning proper self defense and keeping pepper spray on them, or preparing for any scenario they could think of on a vacation, but they won't confine themself and lose the ability to have fun just because there's the risk that something bad might happen.]]

[[26: Talent or effort? Usually, talent. They appreciate putting effort into things and learning how to do it, but they struggle when they're not immediately good at something. They take constructive criticism as pure criticism and will only continue with a hobby if they do marginally well the first time. They latched on to mathe because they were good at it without trying, they enjoy writing because their teacher complimented their creative writing skills in Elementary School. The only things that required them to learn to be good at it that they still enjoy doing are Archery and Dance, because they've been doing that since before they refused to do anything that they weren't immediately good at.]]

[[27: Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)? They very rarely hold any grudges, so, usually, forgiveness. But if something really irks them, like someone hurt someone they care about, they'll seek vengeance. And usually, that vengeance involves psychological horror. No I will not elaborate.

If it's something bad, but something that only hurt them, they can forgive (but they will not forget).]]

[veganagenda]

hi @acti-veg!! I just wanted to chime in here because the sender mentioned they have OCD, which I can say from personal experience is a literal minefield of a neurological condition haha.

to the person who sent the ask, I want to let you know that I'm really compassionate to your mindset here - everything you've said is so familiar to me. even when I'm doing my best to act in accordance with my values (going vegan, buying secondhand, etc), I overthink everything -- which makes even the tiniest slipups (wasting food, buying single-use plastics) feel globally, astronomically impactful. it nags at the back of my brain all the time, everyday. it's awful!

we generally lack widespread education about OCD, but it's really important that we handle OCD carefully when it comes up, or we might risk worsening the condition - so I'm going to try to explain how it works a little bit, both for the asker if they happen to find it helpful, for Acti yourself, and anyone else who sees this and wants to learn more about it!

OCD is fuelled by obsessions - specific fixations on certain subjects, usually fears related to something the affected person cares deeply about. these fears are themselves fuelled by uncertainty - people with OCD struggle greatly to accept anything they cannot hold as completely 'solid' and 'guaranteed,' which is a lot of things in life. we then engage with compulsions - behaviours which seek to soothe the obsessions, without necessarily addressing or ultimately comforting the underlying fears. this keeps us trapped in a cycle of obsession, compulsion, and eventual return of obsession.

seeking reassurance is a very common form of compulsion - though it's rarely recognized as such, and so people frequently engage as they would with any other person: someone is afraid, so you comfort them. they're worried about something, so you engage in conversation about their worry, like you would any other person. this is a part of the cycle, though - and can unfortunately end up inadvertently reaffirming the obsession! :-(

so it's generally advised that if someone with OCD is seeking reassurance from you, you avoid engaging the obsession-compulsion cycle as far as is practicable. you can still have a conversation about the concept at hand, including your thoughts on the matter, as long as you're mindful not to ultimately reassure their fear. there are some good resources online for learning how to do this! :-D

(I do think it's a good move to have dispelled the misconception happening here about your perceived moral perfection, though - comparison is a very big part of OCD, and it's good to challenge that!)

to the asker (will put under a read-more for dash view):

OCD takes an incredibly long time to learn how to live with, and my heart goes out to the position you find yourself in :-( what you're dealing with sounds a lot to me like Morality / Scrupulosity OCD, in case you want to research that a little bit to understand how it works! you're not alone in struggling with this. my compassion is making me want to just... explain everything I know in the hopes that it might help you along your way, but I know I can't necessarily do the work for you haha.

but just in case this is of any help for you to hear: OCD is an absolutely viscious condition, but there are ways of learning to understand, cope with and ultimately manage it. I've had a few milestone "breakthroughs" that have absolutely transformed my relationship with it, and overall I'm doing so much better with it now, even though I'm not in any kind of professional treatment yet.

something that's really helped me has been... testing myself to acknowledge and accept uncertainty, wherever I can and whenever it feels possible. as you say - you ultimately don't know whether your actions or motivations or morally sound or not, because there's no external "judge" who can give you the definitive truth about that - and that's terrifying. no one you meet can tell you for sure whether you're a "bad person" or not, and even though OCD makes you feel like there's this... urgency to understand everything right now, the scary (but comforting) truth is, you don't even necessarily have to reassure that. you don't have to have all the answers.

it helps to figure out what the OCD is trying to protect you from, as well - it's a part of your built-in, physiological defense mechanisms, after all. in this case, ask yourself what the consequence of being a "bad person," "not trying your best" or "doing the right thing for the wrong reason" might be. were you hurt by something like this in the past? are you anticipating some kind of judgement, or punishment? is that still a threat now? can you engage with yourself with patience and compassion, allowing yourself the grace of just... not knowing the answers, and not needing to know in this moment? if not, that's okay. but when an obsession comes up - give it a try.

and all of this doesn't mean you won't ever feel comfortable with yourself or your self-perception, either. remember, OCD targets what you care about most - if you're worried about this so deeply, it doesn't necessarily mean for certain that your fears about yourself are unfounded. but it does mean that morality, intention and authenticity are incredibly important values to you - OCD is just doing its thing: twisting them into fears instead, and clouding your ability to think clearly about them.

in that sense, you can use OCD as a sort of "road map" to reconnect with your innermost values. as Acti says, virtue is a skill - it's just going to be harder to find your virtues with OCD guiding your thoughts. but with time, you can learn to see through that, and by observing it carefully, OCD will help point you towards your genuine values in life, which will allow you to act from them - rather than fear- more and more frequently.

it's always very tempting to look towards people you admire or strive towards for the answers, but this can both put other people in a difficult position if they're not familiar with your condition, and can alienate you further from recognizing your own power and autonomy in facing up to OCD, withstanding the discomfort of uncertainty, and reconnecting with your values.

it might also be a good idea to talk with those around you about how your OCD affects you, so that they can research the condition themselves and help you during fear flare-ups without engaging with your compulsion cycle. even just one person who really understands it can make a big difference in your life. I hope you have someone you can trust with that. there are therapies and treatments designed specifically for OCD available, and there are charities and education centers online - if you have any way of accessing any of these, please look into it! you do not have to go through this alone.

I'm rooting for you!!!

I feel like I overthink everything. :( you say we should do our best to do the right thing but I’m always just like “how do I know if I’m doing my best?” and also maybe my motivations for doing the right thing are actually selfish? maybe that doesn’t matter I don’t know. I have ocd and I obsess over everything and I always feel like such a bad person and like everything I do is bad or I’m not trying hard enough I’m sorry for sending this ask I just wish I could be like you because you seem to get everything right and be so caring and moral and I’m just not

I apologise if this sounds at all patronising because I don't need it to be, I just think it's good to be reminded now and again that you really shouldn't take someone's online presence as an indication of who they are or how they're living. My blog is a persona like most people's are, it's not a lie but it's a specific facet of my personality and a very small part of my life.

I get things wrong, I overthink or underthink, I make rash decisions sometimes and I've certainly done unethical things, as we all have. I'm trying my best, and the reason I know I'm trying my best is because it's a concscious effort. Virtue is something you have to practice, like any other skill, and sometimes it won't always be clear what the right thing is, and you'll always feel like you could be doing more. That you are even worried about this speaks well of you, and it means you're trying.

Try not to compare yourself to others, what good looks like for you in your situation will be different to what it looks like for and everyone else. By practicing doing the right thing, even if it's for the wrong reasons, it makes you better at being good. Just keep doing the work and the rest will follow.

[charliedawn]

Hi, I hope your doing well! I had a question. Can you do how the slashers would react to seeing there s/o crying and how they would comfort them?(If they would) So sorry if you've already done this and please and thank you! 🤗

"Who hurt you?"

It is no question, it's a death sentence. No one is allowed to touch you, even less to make you cry..He would kill whoever hurt you and then do everything to make you smile again. He would try to make you laugh and transform into anything you find cute or that he knows would cheer you up. Penny doesn't really care about anyone else, he even relishes in the suffering of others. But, you ? No. He would never let anything or anyone upset you so much as to see you cry. It burns him. It kills him even..No. *his eyes glow orange*

"No one is allowed to make you cry.."

"What happened ?"

He would be concerned and ask what he can do to help ? If you want a hug ? He'll give it to you. If you want to get rid of someone ? Done. He is determined to do whatever it takes to make you feel better. Even make a fool of himself, which is a lot for Five. He would also ask you if you want to talk to Allison or Vanya ? Not that he doesn't want to listen to your problems, but he knows that these two would be less excessive in their reactions. Him ? He would probably teleport the poor guy/girl who made you cry to the dinosaur era and let them be eaten alive by some monstrous animal of the time..

Jason would feel bad just to see you cry and give you a bear hug if needed and if it's because of something and not someone. If he finds out that it's actually because of someone ? He would enter into a blind rage and get his machete or axe to cut down the person who dared hurt you. No mercy. Jason will not be stopped, even by you. Someone hurt you, so he's gonna show them real pain in return..

Brahms would be sad to see you sad and just hold your hand and be sweet with you until you've calmed down and explain to him what's going on. He would either have two reactions: be even sadder if he can't help you, or rip off the head of your problem. Anyway, he would try to make you forget about it and hug you as much as you want and share his secret stash of candy with you.

Pennywise doesn't like it when someone cries in general, it makes him uncomfortable. Imagine when he finds his favorite human crying their eyes out ? He would try to make you stop by playing magic tricks on you. Also, he wouldn't really ask you why you're sad because: firstly, it's none of his beeswax and he knows that some people prefer to be left alone when they're sad (him) and second, because he would probably kill the problem, and he knows that humans don't like it when someone dies, even if they are an a** with them.

"Hey, kid..So, what's up ? Why the crocodile tears ?"

Freddy would be worried, but would still act chill and try not to get too ahead of himself. Unlike what everybody thinks, Freddy is the only one who values life. He knows that death can be painful and wouldn't inflict on anyone else without a good reason. However, if someone made you cry by hurting you ? He would make their life Hell. To comfort you, he would probably stay with you and listen to whatever you have to say (that is very uncharacteristic of Freddy who usually spends his time talking and interrupting.) But, for you ? He would gladly shut up, which is the biggest proof of love he could ever give you.

"What's the matter, sweetie ? Someone hurt you ?"

Arthur would get straight to the point and ask you what's wrong ? If someone had hurt you, he would feel angry, but wouldn't show you right away. He would firstly try to comfort you by listening to you and be you shoulder to cry on while reassuring you with soft words.

"Ssh..It's okay. They won't bother you again, angel. I promise.."

When you've calmed down enough, he would then ask you for the person's address to give them a good scare and shoot them with his gun.

"What happened ?"

Patricia wouldn't waste any time before trying to comfort you by taking you in her arms and reassuring you the best she can, rocking back and forth soothingly.

"You are so strong, darling. So strong and beautiful."

She would then put on your favorite TV show and cook you your favorite food. Of course, she'll tell Dennis afterwards. But, for now ? She's got a very sad kitten to take care of.

"Come here, sunshine."

Michael would instantly know that something is wrong and offer his support. He would take you in his arms and silently wait until you're ready to tell him what happened. He would then cook you something and would wait until you've fallen asleep before silently getting out of the room. He would then look at the mask in his hand and shiver at the thought of putting it back on. One time couldn't hurt, right ?

Bonus : Nurse AU Norman school incident

Norman knows he shouldn't have overreacted. When he had received the call, he was talking to the new residents of room 608 and had immediately rushed in at the news. There had been a fight at your school..You were hurt. He ran and was out of breath upon arriving. He wanted to act rationally, remember that it was a school..But then, he saw your teary face. Your bruised skin and busted upper lip.

"Norman.."

You had uttered with a tearful voice and Norman doesn't really remember what happened next ? It took at least 5 men to restrain him from ripping the little boy who had attacked you's head. You were expulsed. When you had both finally came home that day, he had begged for your forgiveness, saying that he shouldn't have acted the way he did in front of you and the other people at the school. He had apologized multiple time, while you had only smiled fondly at him and hugged him reassuringly. He still remembers the words you said next, and they would probably haunt him until the rest of his life.

"I'm sorry too, uncle Norman. I shouldn't have let them call you. I know that you're fighting, I shouldn't have.."

You had sobbed and tightened your hold on his shirt. You had apologized. You. This is when he knew, he would love no one as much as you. Never.