#there's many instances of him having fun during the performance

[hazbinhotei]

a little too prideful.

read part two (a semi-standalone comfort fic) here

warnings: blood, mimzy, violence & gore (alastor), injury & gun violence (you), cannabalism (alastor again), light angst w/ a happy ending

word count: 3735

summary: When Mimzy lures a group of vengeful loan sharks to the hotel, you’re left to deal with the fallout—both physically and emotionally—while Alastor is forced to realize that his pride blinded him to the one thing that truly mattered: you. (story takes place during ep. 5)

alastor x f!reader—technically gn!reader minus the ~two instances i use 'her' pronouns for clarity. whoo this one's a doozy. i'm not necessarily sure if i'm proud of how this turned out, especially since a good chunk is just taken from episode 5. i also struggle a lot with multi-character scenes like this, so please let me know if i could improve on anything. nonetheless, though, i hope you all enjoy!

Life at the Hazbin Hotel with Alastor was many things—chaotic, unconventional, but above all, it was yours. The two of you had carved out a comfortable existence amidst the madness, his constant grin and ever dramatic behavior a fixture in your day-to-day life. It was hard not to adore the way he’d hum while cooking, or the way he’d twirl you in the hallway just for the fun of it. You had accepted him despite all his flaws, including his particular flaw of being obsessive over his power. But, hey, they don’t just call it the Pride Ring for no reason.

Tonight was no different. You sat with the rest of the hotel group, half-listening as Lucifer and Alastor bickered back and forth in song, their battle of wits crescendoing in dramatic flair. It was an odd sort of game, something between posturing and genuine irritation, and though you were used to Alastor’s theatrics, the sudden appearance of Lucifer had only seemed to make him more insufferable.

And that's when she arrived.

Mimzy. A name whispered from the past, a figure Alastor knew from his time alive. She waltzed through the doors of the hotel like she owned the place, all charm and nostalgia, completely interrupting Alastor and Lucifer—the goddamned Radio Demon and the very King of Hell. Everyone else seemed bewildered by her unexpected entrance, save for you and Husk. Because unlike the others, you both recognized her. Mimzy wasn’t just another demon Alastor knew: she was perhaps the only one still lingering from his life before Hell. And that was a life he never spoke about to you.

You weren’t jealous. Of course not. That would be ridiculous. Petty, even!

Which is why you smiled and offered her a drink when she settled in like she belonged there. Even when Alastor seemed more preoccupied with his initial task of challenging Lucifer, you continued to make polite conversation, keeping Mimzy company like a good host as Alastor waltzed off with Charlie and Vaggie to show Lucifer around the hotel. You even decided not to question why exactly she was there, because you definitely weren’t someone who was even remotely bothered by the way she looked at your lover—your Alastor—like she still knew him better than anyone else in the room. You must simply be paranoid!

Thankfully, Angel Dust and Husk kept you entertained by the bar with their usual banter, sparing you from being the sole communicator with Mimzy. You were actually starting to have a decent conversation with her, listening to her talk about how she used to perform at the jazz club Alastor commonly frequented, finally excited to get a glimpse into Alastor’s life before his fall to damnation. But Mimzy had a way of causing commotion, and she knew it. She, like Al, seemed to share the same sin of pride, which resulted in her slipping a sharp, snide little comment hidden beneath her layers of old-timey charm.

"Oh, sweetheart, I do admire ya dedication. Must be so tiring, trying to keep a man like Alastor entertained. I mean, he does get bored so easily, doesn’t he? I’m even surprised he kept me along for this long!"

The words struck deeper than you wanted to admit. Her comment made Angel Dust’s amused grin falter, his mismatched eyes widening in offense for you. Even Husk paused, ears flicking at the sheer audacity.

But you? You simply smiled.

Because you weren’t petty. You were raised better than to stoop down to her level, knowing just how much she wanted to see the worst in you come out. So all you did was smile, your hand tightening on your glass imperceptibly.

“I like to think I do alright,” you replied, voice saccharine. And before she could get in another jab, you excused yourself, turning on your heel before anyone could see the way your jaw clenched just a little too tight.

You needed to find Alastor.

It took some searching, but you found him shadowing Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer as they walked the halls, his posture perfectly poised, his expression fixed in a grin that was just a little too flawless. Lucifer’s presence was, as expected, a threat to the power balance in the hotel, and Alastor was treating it as such.

Your feet picked up the pace, jogging up to him as you called his name. He didn’t turn.

You tried again, and this time, his head snapped toward you, his entire neck cracking with the speed of it. His smile was still there, but his eyes… they were strained.

“Dearest,” he greeted, the word drawn out with thin patience as he twisted his body to match his inhumanely turned neck. “I’m a little busy at the moment.”

You purse your lips sourly, crossing your arms as you replied. “Mimzy said something to me. Something rude. I—”

“Oh, she does that all the time,” Alastor interrupted, waving a dismissive hand. “Don’t take it so personally, cher.”

Your brows furrowed, impatience rising. “Al, she—”

“Really, must we do this now?” His voice, usually so smooth and lilting, held the barest edge of frustration. His focus was drifting back to Lucifer, and that—that stung more than it should have.

“Alastor,” you pressed, but he cut you off again, his expression flickering with exasperation.

“I’m trying to ensure Lucifer Morningstar doesn’t throw this place into absolute chaos,” he said, his usual theatrics dampened by irritation. “Forgive me if I don’t have time to entertain every little grievance.”

That was the breaking point.

Your hands curled into fists at your sides. You weren’t asking him to start a war over this, you just wanted him to listen. But apparently, his pride, his status, his stupid fixation on proving himself compared to Lucifer—that mattered more.

“Fine,” you bit out, voice tight. “Go ahead. Play your little game. I’ll be downstairs.”

And with that, you resisted the urge to bark anything else at him and left, ignoring the way his shadow frowned as you stormed away.

By the time you reached the lobby again, your anger was simmering beneath the surface, hot and unresolved. Angel Dust raised a brow as you rejoined them, Husk grunted in acknowledgment, and Mimzy?

She just smirked.

And that—oh, that just made your blood boil all the more. You bit your cheek harshly, letting the pain distract you from the way you wanted to absolutely tear your claws into her snobby little head. 

Just as you were about to say something, the hotel trembled violently, sending dust raining from the ceiling. Your eyes shot open from the interruption, the four of you jolting from the bar in surprise. Angel Dust barely had time to curse before another explosion rocked the walls, and even Sir Pentious and Niffty had rushed out into the lobby to see what was happening. Husk’s ears flicked in irritation, eyes narrowing as he downed the rest of his whiskey in a single gulp.

“What the hell is goin’ on?” Husk grumbled, pushing himself off the counter.

Niffty skittered toward the window, peeking outside. Her single eye widened, smile terrifyingly wide: "Oh, wow! Lots of company! And they don’t look very friendly!"

You pushed yourself up from the bar stool, already seething from your argument with Alastor, only for your frustration to triple when you caught sight of what was happening outside through the windows. Your hotel was under attack.

Explosions continued to pelt the exterior, fire and debris scattering across the pavement. Figures lurked in the smoke, their silhouettes illuminated by the flickering flames. Loan sharks. Armed. Dangerous. And heading straight for the entrance.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you hissed, storming toward the door, ignoring Angel Dust’s warning call.

The moment you stepped outside, the gunfire ceased momentarily as the gangsters caught sight of you. Their expressions twisted into rage, and before you could say a word, one of them barked, “That must be her—Mimzy! Get her!”

You barely had time to register what they meant before pain exploded through your side. A gunshot rang in your ears, the impact knocking you backward as agony tore through you. You hit the pavement, breath wheezing from your lungs as Angel Dust and Husk shouted your name.

“Oh, hell no!” Angel snarled, grabbing you before they could get another shot off. Husk swore under his breath, hauling you back into the hotel as more bullets followed, splintering the doorframe. “What the ever-loving fuck did you do, Mimzy?!”

Inside, you gasped, hand pressing against the wound in your side as black blood seeped through your fingers. The injury wasn’t too damaging and you hardly worried since it wasn’t an angelic bullet, but your vision still swam from the sudden sting. Angel crouched beside you, protective, his face set in grim determination (and annoyance of this entire situation) as Niffty rushed off to grab medical supplies. You were too busy focusing on the teeth-clenching pain to hear Husk arguing with Mimzy over why these loan sharks had said her name, hearing her say she apparently owes them fifty grand. Before you could even respond to her words, Sir Pentious’ shouted at everyone as he dodged a fireball. “Take cover!”

You watched as the hotel descended into chaos. Angel lunged forward, yanking Niffty out of the way before another fireball could flatten her. Husk abandoned Mimzy without a second thought, his wings fluttering as he rushed to your side. He grabbed you gently, hauling you against the bar wall, out of the direct line of fire. 

Angel was back in an instant, Niffty dangling from one of his arms. The moment he drops her onto the floor, she tears through the hotel's makeshift first aid kit, muttering curses about bloodstains on her carpets.

(A passing reminder to thank Charlie for creating a first aid kit for the hotel entered your mind, the temporary thought stored in the back of your adrenaline-filled brain as you realized how genius the idea was even if you all had originally found the concept laughable.

Who knew you would need one when fighting and pain was practically a daily guarantee in Hell?)

Charlie, Lucifer, Vaggie, and Alastor descend from the staircase a minute later, their eyes scanning the chaos. But it was Alastor who froze, his entire frame going rigid as his eyes landed on you. You two locked eyes for a moment, his foot hovering mid step as he took in your pained expression.

The ever-present smile on his face faltered, just for a second.

Then his world snapped.

Alastor’s gaze darkened, his static flickering erratically as he shadowed towards you in the blink of an eye. His movements were slow, almost mechanical, as he crouched before you, reaching out to gently touch the black blood on your fingers. When he pulled back, his hand trembled, shadows pooling below his kneeling body exponentially.

You had never seen him look like this before.

Vaggie took a step forward from behind the broken front doors, holding her spear in her hands with a pissed off expression. “All of you, get a safe distance. I’ll take care of this.”

Alastor didn’t even glance at her. His voice came out in a low, sickeningly sweet purr. "No, my dear, leave it to me. It’s time I remind everyone why I am here."

Mimzy, pops up from behind the bar counter, perked up. “Oh, finally! Took ya long enough!”

Alastor didn’t react. His shadow twisted violently beneath him, tendrils stretching, shifting, writhing as an eerie green glow seeped through the cracks of the floorboards.

Outside, the gangsters were reloading their catapult and guns, laughing amongst themselves—until the air grew thick with static. A heavy, suffocating weight pressed down on the street, the distant flickering of the hotel’s neon sign the only warning before a massive tendril shot out, smashing the catapult to pieces.

The loan sharks barely had time to scream before more tendrils erupted from the ground, slicing through them like they were nothing but paper dolls.

Alastor’s laughter rang through the chaos, distorted and wrong. His body grew taller, limbs elongating unnaturally as his smile stretched too wide, his antlers curling into jagged points. His form twisted, pulsing with raw, unfiltered eldritch power as his shadow spread across the pavement. You heard Husk curse next to you in horror, your eyes glancing to the terrified bartender as he crouched beside you.

“A reminder to all,” Alastor’s voice boomed, shaking the very ground beneath them, “not to mess with the Radio Demon!”

The remaining demons screamed, scrambling to retreat, their weapons useless against something so vastly beyond them. Alastor stepped forward out of the archway of the once undamaged doors, unforgiving and unrelenting as he grew in size with every step. His eyes turn into two red radio dials floating in dark pools of shadow, his radio staff puny compared to his now gigantic form.

“I will devour each and every one of you,” he broadcasted from his unmoving smile, voice rich with unhinged delight.

You winced as you watched your lover start to swallow the mafia members whole, unleashing his stress from today as distant cries of terror fill the hotel. Unfortunately, the broken windows of the lobby did no justice in shielding any of your eyes from the chaos outside, resulting in you having to grossly look away at the gore happening in front of you.

Angel Dust watches beside you, shaking his head as he’s mesmerized by the scene. “I can’t believe you date this guy.”

Your chest huffs in an attempt to laugh, groaning softly as you hear Charlie and Lucifer arguing in the background. The hotel was filled with the sound of family drama and cannibalism, yet somehow that seemed to be even better than the sound of Mimzy’s grating voice cheering Alastor on.

After a mere few seconds, the battlefield was silent save for the faint crackling of embers and the distant, gurgling groans of the last unlucky gangsters who had met their demise at The Radio Demon’s hands. Alastor, now shrinking back into his usual form, let out a sigh of satisfaction, brushing imaginary dust from his sleeves.

“Oh, I missed getting to let off steam!” he chirped, his voice dripping with amusement.

The tension in the air hadn’t yet settled when Mimzy emerged from the hotel, peeking out to ensure the coast was clear before prancing toward Alastor with a delighted grin. “Oh, Alastor! What a fantastic show! Bravo! As always. Thanks for helpin’ lil’ old me out of a tough spot, you're always such a pal!”

Before Alastor could respond, a loud crack split the air above you.

Your head snapped up just in time to see a massive chunk of debris from the ruined floor above give way, plummeting toward you and Angel Dust.

“Move!” Angel yelped, grabbing you as the two of you dove aside. The wreckage slammed into the ground where you had been leaning on the wall just seconds before, sending a gust of dust and gravel into the air.

Your pulse pounded in your ears, adrenaline and pain mingling in your veins as you looked up, meeting Alastor’s gaze. His red eyes flickered between you and Mimzy, and for the first time since the carnage began, his smile began to wane as the static in the air crackled with unease.

You weren’t just glaring—you were seething. 

It was a rare sight to see you so angry, your emotions normally hidden well behind your mask of calm, poised indifference. Typically, Alastor would be reveling at the fire blazing within your eyes, delighted to see his darling so full of wrath it made anyone in your line of sight shake in terror. Yet in this instance, as Alastor stared a moment longer, he realized he was technically in your line of sight, along with the blonde flapper next to him who caused this whole mess.

Alastor watched as you narrowed your eyes even more at him, taking a mental picture of your fury to cherish forever. Then, with a slow turn of his head, he set his gaze upon Mimzy, his usually cheerful aura twisting into something cold. He realized Mimzy had been speaking to him, something along the lines of apologizing for the mess—really, he could care less what Mimzy was saying given the full extent of things.

“I think you should go, Mimzy.” His flat voice was devoid of amusement.

Mimzy scoffed, twirling a stray curl of hair between her fingers. “Oh pff, Alastor, you're such a kidder, you! Haha, you are so funny—”

“I mean it.” His voice sharpened, cutting through the tension like a knife. “You deliberately brought danger to this place just to have me clean up your mess. I can’t have that here.”

Mimzy’s smug expression faltered, but she quickly recovered, waving a dismissive hand. “But you love takin’ care of me! What? You don’t actually give a shit about this tacky little place, do ya? Come on. I know you.”

She took a step forward, jabbing a sharp-nailed finger into his chest with every word.

“You heartless son—” poke.

“—of a—” poke.

“—bitch!” poke.

Before she could finish, Alastor caught her wrist in midair, his grip like iron. His smile had all but disappeared.

“I do care about this place.” He let her wrist go, stepping past her to glance where you sat on the ground in the hotel, still nursing your injury. His fingers twitched, desperate to shadow next to you, but he simply clenched his twitching hand into a fist. “And more than that, I care about her.”

Mimzy’s face twisted in disbelief. “What?”

Alastor’s eyes sideglanced at Mimzy, his voice laced with something genuine. “I am madly devoted to her. And I refuse to let anyone—anyone—disrespect her. Especially under my roof.” His eyes flickered with finality as he fully turned back to Mimzy. “So unless you plan on giving a damn well and sincere apology to her, you are no longer welcome here.”

Mimzy stood there, mouth agape, before scoffing dramatically and throwing her arms up. “Well, fine! Who needs ya?! Have fun with ya little sweetheart and ya little hotel. See if I care!”

With one last huff, she stomped off, disappearing into the distance.

The moment she was gone, Alastor turned back to the hotel, his sharp gaze softening with concern as his eyes landed on you. Everyone in the lobby had seen this little fiasco unravel, Husk, Sir Pentious, and Angel all sharing snacks as they hummed in appreciation at the drama. You simply sat on the ground a few feet away as he appeared in front of you, his shadow curling around your ankle as it stared up in worry from the floor. Alastor crouched down, his fingers ghosting over your wound, his usual devil-may-care attitude completely absent.

“You should have listened to me,” you muttered, still glaring, though your voice had lost some of its edge.

Alastor winced, his breath hitching at the exhaustion laced in your voice. His fingers twitched against yours, his usual bravado faltering for just a moment. He averted his gaze, as if the sight of your pain was too much even for him, before forcing himself to meet your eyes again.

"Yes… I see that now." His hand finally rested over yours, pressing lightly against the wound as if to assure himself that you were still there. “I was wrong. I should have listened to you from the start. I was too… preoccupied.”

You raised a skeptical brow. “Too prideful.”

He let out a soft, breathy chuckle. “That, too.”

A moment of silence stretched between you before Alastor finally sighed, something deeply regretful in his expression. “I’m… truly, truly sorry, mon cœur. I should have protected you. I will make this up to you.” His voice lowered, his fingers gently lacing with yours. “Just… tell me how. Anything you ask for is yours, even though it was already yours before this whole incident occured today.”

You sighed, the tension in your body slowly easing, though not entirely. A part of you still wanted to stay angry, to let him sweat a little longer, but exhaustion tugged at your limbs. The ache in your side throbbed as if reminding you that you had bigger things to worry about. Still, you weren’t ready to let him off the hook so easily, exhaling deeply once more as you spoke. “You owe me, Al.”

His grin returned, softer this time—devoid of its usual mischief, holding only sincerity. “Then I shall spend every waking moment treating you the way you deserve. Like royalty, my love.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the tiny smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “Damn right you will.”

Alastor chuckled, finally helping you to your feet as you rejoined the group. His grip was firm, steadying you a little too carefully, his fingers lingering at your waist even after you were standing upright. His usual boundless energy seemed restrained, his eyes flickering over your wounds before he forced his smile to remain in place. You could tell—he was still shaken, even if he’d never admit it.

You watched as Niffty scurried around the hotel, eager to clean up the damage. It seemed like Charlie and Lucifer had made up, your anger at today’s events lessening ever so slightly as you watched the two. Even Husk, Angel Dust, and Sir Pentious had seemed to be helping clean up, even if Vaggie was yelling at them to do it.

As Alastor wrapped a careful arm around you, leading you toward a more comfortable place to rest on one of the less damaged couches, he leaned down, whispering just for you to hear.

“I do love you, you know.”

Your heart fluttered, but you played it cool, nudging him in the ribs. “You better.”

His smile widened, his head lowering to give you a hidden kiss behind your ear as he paused for a moment. “I’m sorry you got hurt… because of me.”

You hum slightly at his display of vulnerability, your own mouth morphing into a soft smile. “You’re an idiot, but,” You pause, closing the distance between you as you rub his head with yours, “I love you as well.”

And despite the pain, despite the chaos, despite everything—you knew he would spend the rest of his afterlife making sure he never let his pride come before you again.

[isagrimorie]

Explanation of Agatha's Siphon/Absorption powers

Joanna Robinson: We’ve so enjoyed trying to parse, to your point, when Agatha is telling the truth and when she’s lying and when we get to see her put on her performance and when the mask slips and only we the camera get to see what’s going on in her face and all of that that’s been really, really fun to parse. A question we have at the end of this finale is, we really believe her when she said to Billy that she couldn’t control what happened with Alice and then we see her have some measure of control over it when it comes to Billy. Can you track the truth in any of that? To, again, use a Mallory word: the ‘progress’ inside of her when it comes to controlling that power. Jac Schaeffer: Yeah, I do think there is there is progress to her power and I sort of see it on sort of an instinctual level. You know, it’s not something that we’d like put on page or even pitch to Marvel. It’s sort of my impression of it. I think that she– there’s something kind of animalistic about her power to me. It’s very tied to appetite. I see her as a woman who can’t get full, and I think when she takes Alice, she’s so hungry at that time. And it’s such a surprise! You know, normally, she cons witches. They blast her, she takes it (power). But she (Agatha) gets blasted out of nowhere and it feels so good and she’s powerful! This is the source of her power so I do believe her, and in our discussions, that was the thing, is when she says to Billy: ‘I couldn’t control it.’ She means it. I also see that as a moment of vulnerability and it’s tragic to me that Billy doesn’t believe her. You know, that’s one of those… sort of Disconnect but I think she is able to turn it off with Billy. Just to get in the weeds about MCU power: He (Billy) has chaos magic, so she gets fuller with him. She gets so much from him and it’s a bottomless well. So, you know, I think, at that moment, she can stop and I think she does stop because it’s him but I think she’s gotten enough where she can be in her full look, and her full glory and feel like herself.

Agatha's Powers During the Kiss

Jac Schaeffer: I also would extend that to the moment of the kiss of death, which I– there are many things I love about it was an idea very early that I was obsessed with, and I’m so glad that we were able to get it on screen with these performers. But to me, I also really loved that in every other instance, she has to be blasted in order to take power and this is the first time that she’s taking power and it’s from a kiss, and to me, that’s very fertile. Because I think a kiss with Rio at this point in their relationship is tender and sexy, and sort of ravenous but also toxic and violent and a death blow. It’s all those things all at once, but it is different, we’ve never seen Agatha take power in that way and I would point that I wouldn’t really call it ‘progress’ as much as I would call it kind of an evolution.

——

Agatha’s kind of like a vampire but for magical powers and life forces instead of blood. And, Jac seems to imply that Agatha has some sort of hunger for magic.

It really is a kind of addiction metaphor.

[bettsfic]

one of the things that really stuck with me about The Bikeriders is that it's all about performative toxic masculinity, but there's no womanizer character. not a single guy who picks up women for the fun of it. there's also no casual, unquestioned infidelity, which is a staple of dudebro narratives. like obviously the badass leader guy is going to have a woman on the side, and both his wife and myriad girlfriends will just be set pieces for him with no characterization whatsoever.

on my first watch i just assumed Johnny has a wife at home and a girlfriend in the club, but then i realized the woman hanging all over him during the picnics is his wife (Betty), as evidenced by this pic from VANDALS, the photobook of the shooting of the film.

sorry for the poor quality. this is a picture of a picture.

the implication here is that Betty is supportive of the club (if not Johnny himself, as we see near the end), at least more so than Kathy, who only dresses in bikerider attire for [spoilers redacted].

it's possible in the present timeline of the film that both of their daughters have grown up and moved out. we see Johnny watching The Wild One on television, a film released in 1953, and two girls run behind him, maybe around 10 years old. the timeline of the story begins in 1963, and the last we see of Johnny's home life is 1971. by all means, their daughters might be in their 20s. in some ways, The Bikeriders is a story of middle-aged boredom.

in multiple instances, we see physical affection between married couples. Benny and Kathy, Johnny and Betty, and Brucie and Gail are all depicted at least once snuggled up beside each other. in many films, if a man is both married and faithful, we see him be at the very least physically neglectful, never touching his wife in a loving way. conversely, we never see men receiving real affection, either, unless it's been earned through the intense action of the film. and even then, it's often something he takes, not something he's given.

i was also surprised by Benny and Kathy's relationship, which i assumed would go south asap, given the intensity of it. and although there's plenty of tension between them, none of it is of the "i fell out of love with you, i regret marrying you" variety of angst. they fall in love and stay in love. and they have problems, but losing interest in each other is not one of them.

i find it very funny that Benny remains covered in dirt even when it makes no sense to be.

to me these are all markers of a story that's about toxic masculinity rather than operating from within toxic masculinity. when we're in a toxically masculine story, we're meant to buy into the fantasy of that masculinity. the protagonist is an ideal, a man who fucks around with any woman he looks at and wins fights and becomes a hero. in The Bikeriders, though, we see from the outside that Johnny is trying to craft that impossible fantasy for himself. he's performing the man he wishes he could be and it's making him miserable. and he tries to put that burden on Benny, who refuses it. Benny is his fantasy. conversely, Johnny is Benny's. they have the other on a pedestal of a male ideal that's impossible to achieve.

in this era of American history, we see increasingly intense narratives of heroism. by the 70s, the sons of WWII veterans had grown up. many men of that time looked up to their fathers as war heroes, fighting on the right side of one of the worst wars in the history of humanity, and winning. but those men were then given the Vietnam War, which arguably had no right side, no front, and no land lost or gained. most importantly, it had no clear beginning or ending*. no closure, no resolution. even outside of war, in industry the task of making something became narrower as merchant trades veered toward assembly line production rather than craftsmanship. Benny refuses to step up in part because he belongs to a generation of men who see no real fruits of their labor. conversely, Johnny is witnessing the slow degradation of honor that comes as a result of losing the concepts of resolution and completion.

*the Fall of Saigon marked the end of the Vietnam War, but by then Nixon had pulled out all US troops.

i keep reading these shallow reviews of The Bikeriders, and they're positive but they don't seem to really get it. like The Holdovers, i think so much of the nuance and meaning comes from the historical context of the action of the film, which can't really be elaborated on (you can only do so much in two hours), and so it's depicted in these broad strokes of cultural knowledge, much of which is either that the Vietnam War is simply a thing that happened, or information that is flat-out wrong. i mean, there were like 18 possible sides to this war and you can't read a single fact about it without having to analyze or consider the side it's writing from. even wikipedia is full of subtle rhetoric that indicates sympathy toward one side over the other.

people ask me a lot, "why are you researching the Vietnam War?" and the answer is that it's everywhere. its failure is woven into the fabric of American identity. it changed the very definition of masculinity, and being as we are in a patriarchal hegemony, that new definition has in turn affected everybody else. whenever i talk to any American around my age about the Vietnam War, they've got a story about it. either their father/grandfather was there or he wasn't. if he was there, that's a story. if he wasn't, that's a story too.

many of us in our 30s and 40s and 50s are gaining the expertise and audience to begin telling these stories, in an attempt to answer the question of what even happened back then, and why were our parents so cruel, and why is everyone so miserable now? and we find ourselves on impossible pedestals handed down to us from a generation defined by failure and loss.

[ateez-himari]

HEATED COACHELLA STAGE

After many attendees holding their breath for the next bold move MinAri might enact, it seems as though their shyness finally dissipated.

April 20, 2024 (6:48PM)

While weekend two unfortunately marked the last performance held by ATEEZ on a Coachella stage as of this year, the group left an ever lasting impression with powerful choreography paired with breath taking visuals and raw vocals. Through the numerous clips circulating online there is a specific instance that has been sending social media platforms into a reposting frenzy, one involving a rather passionate display by main rapper, Mingi, and lead vocalist, Himari.

While viewers were expecting something such as this to happen due to the intimate moment shared between the two during their first performance, it seems as though none were truly ready to witness it with their own eyes on stage. The interlude to their song 'Arriba' left gasps echoing in the crowd as Mingi pulled the maknae in for a true lover's kiss, an arm tightly draped across her waist whilst the other motioned for attendees to make some noise. In contrast to the beginning of the group's career where the two saw their reputation nearly torn to pieces following dating rumors, which were later disproved as nothing more than a scheme to have the vocalist removed, the crowd showed their support through loud cheers and vibrant excitement.

Their own bandmates could be seen encouraging them as some used water bottles to simulate rain, every artist on that stage including backup dancers visibly enjoying the relaxed atmosphere that had been created. Following the performance several members had gone live for a few minutes, one of them being Seonghwa who briefly mentioned a comment refering to the heated kiss as the vocalist could be seen giggling in the background prior to him playfully scolding her.

'That...we definitely expected it since he had talked about it during rehearsal, but I thought it was going to be like the first day. It flustered me too but seeing everyone having fun made me happy.'

Despite these heated stage interactions no official label has been placed on their relationship due to no statements coming out regarding the situation, leading some to believe that it was no more than a rehearsed act to rile up fans or that whatever is happening between them is simply a more intimate level of friendship. There is a possibility that this moment stemmed from the artists' immersion in the performance as well as the heat of the moment, as the youngest is after all a member of the 'Demon Line' and both are known to have rather intense stage personas.

'Seeing people say that they're still 'just friends' is so funny to me 😭Like do you guys not see everything they've been doing for a year now ? I get the people saying they could be 'friend with benefits' but come on...' - X user

It seems as though neither artist not the company intends to lift the mystery surrounding their relation to one another as of yet, leaving netizens to create countless speculations without the certainty of a confirmation. One thing that everyone can be sure of however is that this group knows how to set a stage on fire no matter who the people watching might be, living up to their newly earned nickname of 'Pirate Kings of Sahara'.

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[stuckinbyler]

The subtext in Jayvik

Note: I want to preface with a warning; English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. This is basically a compilation of different analyzes (nothin new btw) I’ve read so far about Jayvik’s relationship that explain why so many people ship them. It’s purely made for fun. I have no idea of what I’m doing and I just needed to get this out of my system. That’s it!

Season 1

Episode 2

Summary

Viktor and Jayce’s relationship begins when Viktor confiscates Jayce’s research and has him arrested for endangering the citizens of Piltover. Initially, they don’t interact much, as Viktor leaves the matters to the council. Their dynamic begins to shift during the council meeting, where Viktor shows interest in Jayce’s dream after hearing him mention magic.

 Shortly afterward, Viktor decides to pay him a visit, intrigued by what he said at the trial. In this encounter, Viktor saves Jauce from taking his own life. Although it’s not inherently romantic, it’s a pretty dramatic way of introducing two characters, and it establishes a strong foundation for the future of their relationship as it evolves.

 When Viktor offers to support his research, Jayce seems reluctant to trust him initially. He remarks:

“That makes you the only one” [who believed him] 

Jayce still feels defeated, as though he has no chance of making his dreams come true: “No one believed me”. In response, Viktor sympathizes with him, opening up to reveal he himself, as a zaunite, has struggled with no one believing in him and being underestimated in the past. He states that he got to where he is by believing in himself, despite the systematic oppression that he had to endure. 

“When you’re going to change the world, don’t ask for permission”

 It’s worth mentioning that, from Viktor’s perspective, he’s jeopardizing his entire career to endorse a man he barely knows. It stands out to me as one of the most selfless acts he performs in the entirety of the series, and it is for Jayce. It also goes to show that Viktor supported Jayce during his lowest point, when not even his family believed in him. 

The scenes

 A two shot framing: used to capture emotional reactions between subjects, particularly in scenes involving  romance, tension or action. 

After Viktor and Jayce are introduced to each other and Viktor saves Jayce, we get a brief conversation between them. The scene itself makes use of a two shot framing that emphasizes their emotional connection and the underlying tension during their interaction: 

We can observe the intimate lighting, which is soft and dark, with minimalistic or blurred background. This is a common stylistic way of directing romantic scenes to evoke closeness and vulnerability. Viktor's theme is introduced through the music for the first time, his personal motif.

We get this look, which speaks by itself:

They used an over-the-shoulder shot, which can be used to suggest a romantic undertone, especially when they framing is closer to the subject’s faces. This visual arrangement is employed at other times during the series. For example, in Mel and Jayce's interactions, which are undoubtedly seen as romantic.

By that point, we had also gotten a two shot framing of them as well:

Another instance of romantic subtext in this act is when Viktor hands Jayce his bracelet. The gesture carries emotional weight because he's quite literally giving Jayce the most important thing in his life, which represents his hopes and dreams (maybe even his will to live). Jayce continues to carry it at all times (he doesn’t even take it off during the sex scene with Mel).

 Afterwards, we hear this line of dialogue from Jayce: “I don't even know your name”. Although I haven’t been able to pinpoint a specific trope, I do believe the line itself creates a certain tension between the characters in the scene. Jayce has just been saved by Viktor, a more mysterious character, in a dramatic rescue. The line shows his growing interest and curiosity towards Viktor. Here’s an example of it being used in Cinderella: 

“I don’t even know your name, how will I find you?”

Probably the most well-known parallel between Mel and Viktor occurs in this episode:

 I feel like there's not a lot to add here. Both are making the same facial expression while looking at Jayce, framed by similar lighting and with tender music playing in the background. Anyways.

 Another thought someone pointed out is the fact that Viktor always seems to be the closest subject to the light:

This could be interpreted in a number of ways. At a basic level, it just means that Viktor is symbolically associated with light when seen from Jayce's perspective. 

Honorable mentions:

This look directed at Viktor.

Episode 3

Summary

Viktor and Jayce discover a way to “crank” the Hexcore. However, in order to convince the council, they need solid proof that it works. Viktor, with Heimerdinger’s keys, manages to convince Jayce to infiltrate Heimerdinger's lab to conduct the experiment.

“Our Hextech dream”

This marks a turning point in their relationship because it’s the establishment of their partnership, bound together by their ambitions. Jayce begins to recognize the risks Viktor is willing to take, which is why I believe prompts him to take the first step towards a union. 

While attempting to sneak in, they are caught by Mel, who was also drawn to their research during the council’s meeting. She gives them one night to prove that Hextech works, and after figuring it out, they get Mel’s “blessing”.

The scenes

In the scene where they try sneaking in and are caught by Mel, we learn an important piece of information: Jayce and Viktor are risking exile for their research.

Viktor’s excuse at being caught with another man in a dark corridor at night is rather peculiar.

“Wait a minute, this isn't my room.” 

Obviously, he's implying he was bringing Jayce into his room, which I'd argue isn't very platonic. This can be considered as a joke, but it does serve us when analyzing how Viktor views their relationship. 

We can also begin to see a certain level of antagonism between Viktor and Mel. For some reason, they were neve able to get along during the whole series, and we can trace this tension from their first interaction. 

“You’re the professor’s assistant” 

Note: this is in no way an attack to Mel btw, and not a means to hate on her character. I say this just in case anyone thinks I’m implying she’s getting in the way of Jayvik or something like that.

With no ill intention, these are the first words (that we know of) she ever tells Viktor, which directly contrast what Viktor tells Jayce in the past episode:

“Do you think it was my life ambition to be an assistant?” 

Upon hearing Mel, Jayce responds as such:

“No, he’s my new partner”.

There’s another instance where Jayce shows his trust to Viktor in this episode. When it is time to crank the Hexcore, Jayce gets scared at the machine’s rattling. In his moment of worry, Viktor tells him this:

“Trust me”

During the series this is a pattern we see: Viktor is usually the one who pushes Jayce to his highest potential, offering reassurance whenever Jayce is afraid of taking risks.

We also get this moment between them. Someone pointed out that, by the way Jayce and Viktor are positioned in the scene, they are being highlighted, visually, as opposites. 

At this point, Mel and Jayce are also being set up romantically, with Jayce’s lingering looks and body language hinting at his feelings.

Episode 4

Summary

In this episode, we fast forward to the preparations for the Day of Progress. This year, Jayce is given the chance to deliver the speech, replacing Heimerdinger. For this purpose, Viktor and Jayce specifically prepare a presentation of their inventions, showing it to the Councillor so that he approves. They find a way to fortify the Hextech crystals, so that it is absolutely safe to the public. These include “portable devices”, like gauntlets for miners and the hexclaw (which foreshadow Jayce and Viktor's weapons in season 2). Despite showing his appreciation for their projects, Heimerdinger insists they wait at least a decade before actually handing it to the public, since “putting that kind of power into everyone’s hands is dangerous”.

Viktor is the most affected by this decision, shown by his reaction. Jayce is convinced by Heimerdinger's caution. 

Later on, when the Day of Progress actually arrives, Viktor decides not to show his face to the public. Jayce arrives later, and although he has his speech prepared, he decides not to showcase their inventions, which disappoints both Viktor and Mel. It is a critical point, especially in his relationship with Viktor, as it highlights a difference in their approach towards science: while Viktor’s scientific approach is decisive and risk-taking, Jayce prioritizes safety and patience.

After the incident with Hextech, Jayce recommends suspending Hextech operations until the situation is resolved (without telling Viktor nor Mel). To solve this, Mel proposes a “radical solution”: for Jayce to become a councillor and protect the Hexgates with his knowledge. This deepens the rift in Jayce and Viktor’s relationship, as it creates a power imbalance between them that wasn’t there before.

The scenes

This is a visually charged episode. In regards to Viktor, we can see his clear reactions of disappointment and almost desperation towards Heimerdinger’s decision. It’s clear to see why, given his health issues and his zaunite background. For him, Hextech is not just about scientific achievement but also a potential means of survival and, in the future, the possibility of improving his life and others. That’s why he views delays as a perpetuation of systemic injustice.

In the episode, we also witness the aggravation of his disease:

When Jayce arrives late, it prompts Viktor to ask him where he was.

“They were asking if I could do the address”

There’s an unspoken tension between the two of them. We know Viktor is not exactly an extroverted person, and in this situation  he is being faced with the prospect of giving the speech in front of a room full of Piltover's elite.

“You should come up with me. We’re partners.”

This is another factor that impacts their relationship. Jayce is quite naive, because he doesn’t fully comprehend Viktor’s struggles with class and the societal barriers he faces.

When Jayce proposes him to come to the stage with him and Viktor rejects the idea, we can see these shots:

In the scene, Viktor remains visible until Jayce covers him completely, which could symbolize how he’s leaving him behind. There’s an awkward pause in conversation while Viktor asks him if he has his speech prepared, as Jayce responds with casual indifference, his body language suggesting that he’s not as emotionally invested in the moment as Viktor is. 

Parts 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

[someslothcheese]

Hello there!

Have fun XD

And here's a blank one if you want/need it.

- Saber

Saber my beloved, let me make a twtlonger about my comfort series I rewatch maybe four times a year.

I live laugh love Taskmaster, but specifically series 7. I'm talking about it now, because I'm rewatching it now.

Taskmaster, for those who do not know is a British Comedy show that features two hosts, Greg Davies, the commanding Taskmaster and Alex Horne, the submissive "Assistant" (Alex actually made the whole show and still operates as an executive).

These two, bring a group of 5 Comedians (largely British, but not limited to) on to compete in a series of absurd tasks. These tasks, designed by Alex are then completed by the comedians at the "Taskmaster House" (a small cottage-like House by a golf course and decorated with pictures of the Taskmaster.)

The tasks themselves are absurd in nature, for instance, the one I just saw was "Calculate the circumference of the caravan in baked beans in five minutes."

They perform the tasks with Alex and a camera crew at the studio, then go back to studio watch everyone's performances of tasks with a live studio audience and Greg who he alone then ranks on a scale of 1-5, higher the better. There are also team tasks where a team made by the producers do tasks together.

Lastly about the format... there are prize tasks for each episode, Alex tells them "Bring in [insert whatever]" for example "Bring in something you really want to touch". They all bring prizes to match that, they display them and then Greg ranks them. If you have the most points at the end of the episode you win the entirety of the prize tasks.

Then, the overall winner wins a statue of Greg's, life-sized golden head!

Taskmaster itself is special to me as it's one of the few shows I watch with my parents, every Sunday, one week behind. It also opened me up to the world of stand up. I'd call myself a little bit of a jokester and actually seeing the world of stand-up performed off-the-hip like that made me enduldge in thinking how to expand upon my own humour. (I've gotten a lot funnier from when the series started...)

I've watched so many more British Comedy shows since then. Since apparently, they all only know one another. Things like;

- 8 out of 10 cats does countdown

- Would I lie to you? (Congrats on the BAFTA!!)

- Mock the Week

- Johnny Vegas: Carry on Glamping (if you'd count that LOL)

- Got into the Podcast "Off Menu"

And watched so many comedy shows, notably, James Acaster (Who has many of his shows on Netflix!!), Lee Mack And John Kearnes.

Anyway, back to Taskmaster

Series 7 is easily my favourite for so many reasons..

Let's start with the comedians, and what I like about them. Starting from right to left on their chairs.

James Acaster

James acts sort of like the child of the group, he sort of just says things before he realises what he's saying.

He's witty, for sure. He knows when to tie back a joke, and has great Banter with everyone on the show.

He's locked in with ideas for tasks and almost immediately derails as soon as something goes wrong.

He's a silly in the way he acts way too confident but definitely knows he's taking the piss.

Jessica Knappett

Jess is a bit of a girl failure, but I mean this extremely /pos.

She is very positive in her outlooks and can't help but laugh at her own attempts in hindsight.

She's like the older sister to James' little brother.

She locks in but is almost aloof sometimes.

Kerry Godliman

Kerry is easily the best at tasks in the group.

Her ideas are always on point and is often baffled at how the others perform during their tasks.

She's dry wit, very on the nose type humour, but with the way the other four work it's perfect.

She's the mother to the group for sure, or maybe, more wine-aunt. Her personality is laid back but certainly not going to deal with how your s###.

Phil Wang

Phil is absolutely useless when it comes to tasks, but we love him for it.

He has jokes that only get better the more you hear him say, and the best jokes when he recycles one we said 10 minutes ago.

Definitely like, that one Cousin you're not sure how you're related to but he keeps messing around to make you laugh.

His cluelessness with tasks is great especially in team tasks where he just complies with his team-mates in the craziness.

Rhod Gilbert

Rhod is great with tasks but dare I say, lacks a bit of creativity with it. In some ways, it's funny to see him and Kerry doing normal stuff compared to the other three.

He's definitely like the father that comes home then immediately goes to his shed and you only see him at dinner.

The bickering he does with everyone is definitely a highlight.

Rhod is a long time friend of Greg (the Taskmaster), so he also has many ongoing bits about Greg's youth, family, or their shared living together.

The teams for the season are the guys vs the gal's. James cannot deal with the behaviour between Rhod and Phil, whilst Jess and Kerry get on like they hang out every weekend.

I don't want to go into each task and prize and blahblabhabalabh but I'd highly recommend not only season 7 of taskmaster but the entirety of the show and the out-takes on the Taskmaster YouTube for series 7. (You could probably watch those without the series if you wanted a sample).

Series seven had the best contestants on it by FAR. The group's personalities all cover PERFECTLY the usual personalities they normally have on the show. The straight-man, the aloof, the responsible one, the "zoomer".... another secret thing...

I've had many series spoiled for me (controversial to say) by a contestant who looks like they're trying way too hard. It makes it hard to watch their comedy and take it as a serious attempt to be funny and not a *Please! Watch my stand up!*

The group also all seemed to have their dynamics between one another, dare I say but its one of the few series where I think any 2 contestants in a room together would be able to do something funny.

I've strongly enjoyed many pairs, or entire casts aside from the one, but this group; I'd be infinitely greatful to have them have a rerun. Like, my one genie wish (aside from infinite money) would EASILY be for them to come back together for whatever reason. I'd even pay to be in studio, like, don't even joke with me.

Their humour between all of them I'm always laughing, and it's great for when I'm in a bad mood. And if I watch the shoe too many times, I go to the British Comedy 5 options we got and find them on those shows instead. (More often then not without their fellow contestants...)

Also the fandom is cool too 😁

[princess-of-the-corner]

Fun Star Wars fact: the Jedi knew of Order 66 the entire time, and were OK with it. It was part of a series of protocols collectively known as Contingency Orders for the Grand Army of the Republic, to be invoked in case a certain situation happened. Known orders are:

Number unknown: Base Delta Zero (an orbital bombardment so complete that many felt the Death Star was more merciful) in case certain key planets turned traitors.

Order 4: deals with the transfer of authority in case the Supreme Chancellor is incapacitated.

Order 5: same as above, but the Chancellor has been declared unfit to perform his duties.

Order 32 (non canon): break dance with the droid army.

Order 37: a certain individual has to be captured at all costs, including the mass arrest of a civilian population and the threatened execution of the hostages. It's not a bluff, there's also a procedure on how to dispose the bodies.

Order 66: issued only by the Chancellor, your Jedi have turned traitor and you must kill them before they kill you (the use of lethal force only is easily justified because it's almost impossible to capture and contain a Jedi).

Order 65: issued by either the Senate or the Security Council by declaring the Supreme Chancellor unfit to perform their duties, the troops have to arrest them or kill them trying. Order 5 follows automatically.

I bet Palpatine had a blast knowing both that Order 66 was enforced by a chip and that Order 65 easily masked it.

Also, in Canon there was the funniest instance of any Contingency Order being activated during the Imperial Subjugation of Mon Cala: when psychotic Jedi Padawan Ferren Barr was confronted by Inquisitors supported by Purge Troopers, all clones, he pointed out the Purge Troopers were clones, that the Inquisitors were Jedi that pledged themselves to the Empire to survive, and then, with a shit-eating grin, he used the Mind Trick to issue ORDER 66. An Inquisitor got killed, and another lost her leg while Barr ran away laughing his ass off (Vader later killed him, but I think he too laughed when he found out).

I assume they thought that Order 66 was more "A singular Jedi has gone Darkside so lethal force is authorized" instead of straight up genocide?

[skzpixie]

Pixie and her relationships with the guys

I.E, what makes her relationships with the men memorable

Taglist: @mynameisnotlaura, @palindrome969

Chanxie (Chan x Kai) - Mother and Father duo 

Popularity: 9/10 

Labeled as the mother and father of the group, the two are extremely close. When the two of them are paired up together, they take on caretaking roles. She makes sure Chan is eating and drinking properly, going as far as to hiding his laptop when he gets too workaholic. This led to many fights in their early years, but now when he starts overworking himself, all she needs to do is give him a look and he then takes a break. 

He introduced her to production pre-debut days. She is the only one in the group to be one of the producers that is not a part of 3racha 

He helped her discover her love of cooking, particularly Australian foods. 

When he starts getting homesick, she overnight ships ingredients to make homemade pizza or sashimi 

He makes sure she’s in bed at a reasonable time 

She is a shoulder to cry on for him and vice versa 

Minai (Minho x Kai) - Mother and daughter 

Popularity: 8/10 

When Chan is the father, kind to Kai, Minho is the tough love. Sure, he makes sure she’s okay first if she gets hurt, but when he knows she’s okay, he roasts the hell out of her. The two have an... interesting relationship. The two could be having skin ship one second, and then wrestling the next.  

Ex. “Have you eaten yet? Did you get hurt?” “Yes, Min. No, Min.” “You’re going to be” proceeds to chase her around the kitchen, going for her sides to tickle her. 

Teases her about her height (How’s the breeze down there?) 

She was the first one to eat lunch with him at the company 

She comforted him when he got eliminated. (“So what if you got eliminated? You have a friend in me now. I refuse to leave you behind; you are my family now”) 

Gets genuinely upset when he self-deprecates. He had to stop in front of her when she started crying 

Cooking duo 

Binxie (Changbin x Kai) - The lovebirds 

Popularity: 9.5/10 

The loudest two in the group become the quietest when the two are paired together. I mean it. Changbin can go from yelling in one second but when Kai is touching him? Sedated. They are each other's rocks, and they are never not touching each other when together. And they are always together. 

Started calling her princess during the survival show 

Always gropes his ass or tits (It's not in a sexual way, it genuinely gives her comfort) 

Each other’s biggest cheerleaders 

They always give each other praise and compliments 

Whenever she starts crying on camera (Because let's face it, she’s very emotional), he cups her face and wipes the tears away himself. There is a five-minute compilation of him doing this on YouTube of just 2023 alone 

Gym duo (They always go together. It's scary to see how much she gained muscle when she went with him) 

Jinx (Hyunjin x Kai) - Sibling duo 

Popularity: 6/10 

The two are extremely close due to their dramatic flair. It seems like she is more dramatic than Hyunjin in some instances. She is like his big sister even though he’s older. They physically fight (Playfully, it’s all-in good fun), and she says he in her sleep paralysis demon at times. 

Was the first person she came out to 

She is helping him learn Mandarin 

Gave each other black eyes once. The makeup artists had a field day with that one 

Once, she hurt her ankle on stage by twisting it early in the performance. Hyunjin put her on his back and proceeded to finish the concert with her on his back. 

Hanai (Jisung x Kai) - The loud introverts 

Popularity: 6/10 

What happens when you put Kai and Han in the same room? Opposite to Changbin and Kai. Loudest mfs EVER. They were forced to sit in different cars because they would scream like mfing seagulls. I mean it. 

Helps Han with his anxiety 

He helps her practice her rap 

She fuels his americano addiction 

Yonxie (Felix x Kai) - Baking duo 

Popularity: 4/10 

Kai and Felix together can only bring chaos. The two have been in a prank war for roughly five years. She always compliments him, to follow up with a slew of dance battles. She and him do so many tik tok challenges together, that her public tik tok is filled with dances from the two. 

Tease each other on each other's accents 

Cuddles everywhere 

He is teaching her self-defense 

She helped him come up with his brownie recipe 

He is the testing dummy for all new baking creations. 

Seungmai (Seungmin x Kai) - Puppy duo 

Popularity: 7/10 

Savages. They roast the hell out of each other. She tries to compliment him, and you know what he does? Call her a pervert. She proceeds to manhandle him, due to her being very strong, despite her small stature.  

Laughs at him at every chance she gets 

While Seungmin is the more hyperactive puppy, she is the sleepy kind 

Has a collection of images on his phone of her asleep in places she isn’t supposed to be in 

Jeongai (Jeongin x Kai) - Platonic soulmates 

Popularity: 8/10 

Since the two are the Maknaes of the group, they are extremely close. They are attached to the hip. If Kai isn’t with Changbin, she’s with I.N. He is the person to realize her love for singing more than dance.  

The two always are seen asleep together. Where I.N goes, she goes 

Was the first person to know of her mental problems 

Extremely protective over her, more so than the other members 

The only person he allows excessive amounts of skin ship from 

They both go drinking together 

[baby-zakarii]

Regressor Freminet with Cg Lyney Hcs!

Requested by @azuresky-agere

- Freminet is a teeny, tiny babyre regressor, so he requires a lot of care. Fortunately, Lyney doesn't have a problem with helping him while he's small! He mostly does things like feeding, bathing and changing Freminet since the latter can't do them by himself. He's a baby after all...

- Lyney tries his best to hide Freminet's regression from Father in fear of getting his brother in trouble. In reality - Arlecchino doesn't care what the children do in their free time as long as it doesn't affect their performance during missions. Still, Lyney prefers to keep the baby in their house to avoid detection.

- There aren't many activities you can do with such a young regressor, but that's not a problem since Freminet is interested in only one thing anyways - bathtime. He loves splashing in the water and "diving", catching his toy fish in the tub! When it's time to get out, it's the only instance when he may throw a tantrum.

- Lynette doesn't really help with baby Freminet, but she sure does spoil him by always getting him new mechanical toys or tasty sweets (which make his tummy hurt and then Lyney has to deal with a fussy newborn). She's like that one fun aunt who's the worst influence as well!

[zackstriker]

no you’re right s3izer does have what comes across to me as a very noticeable preference for dan, i’ve been skeptical since that sydney(?) video moment where they added a title card poking fun at phil starting his stories. it actually makes me really sad because i’m certain it’s not that deep but it feels bad seeing anyone’s stories be smothered. i always want to hear people’s stories and learn more about them and their history, if dan gets to rant about surface level capitalism why can’t phil tell a story? :( wait i’m getting really sad i need to calm down it is not that serious (but it is to me and my heart)

im so bad at checking my askbox so this is literally from early march, so i apologize for that!!!

but yeah i get what you mean :((( idk i think being so involved in the phandom during the 2014-2016 era where Dan was much more mainstream popular caused me to feel the need to be super protective of phil in instances where my brain perceives him as not being treated equally. i know there’s a big phillie renaissance rn and the last thing he needs is a rando on the internet (me) defending his honor, but i agree that i can’t help but notice it, and it does make me sad. I like the way phil’s brain works. i like how differently he thinks and creates and performs. i don’t think i have a brain that thinks the same way as phil, but i do have a brain that thinks creatively in a different vector than the norm (i literally go to a school for avant garde literature bc my novels and shit are w e i r d), and it makes me feel less alone to see another Weird Thinking Creative be able to fully express himself. so i guess when i see him being cut off (even for jokes) or see him being cast in the shadow to bring someone else to the limelight, it makes me feel sad and like thats how other people will act around me if im a Weird Creative around them.

much to think about/many such cases/et al.

[pain-in-the-butler]

Season Four review

Last night I finally had time to finish the new anime, and here are my thoughts, because I had at least one or two of those while I watched. I saw the whole thing with my bud @warmmilk-n-honey, whose presence helped to make the whole thing bearable:

I've seen some other people mentioning the lack of animation and the fact that most of the angles were copied straight from the manga, and yeah it's very evident lol... At one point while I was watching there was a thunderstorm, and I just had to marvel at the fact that there was far more movement outside my window than there was on the computer screen -

The episodes felt like they went by really fast and yet nothing really happened during them. It did make it clear that this is probably not an easy arc to adapt to an eleven-episode run, but then it just makes you question the small amount of cut content. Easter episode? When did they decide to get rid of you? Why? It's the Nina curse I swear to god -

Even when action was happening, sometimes it was painfully obvious they were padding for time. I nearly lost my mind during the Midnight Tea Party when Undertaker just ate an entire cupcake in between dialogue. Like, sir, please. You are on television -

The CGI moments were sometimes pretty state-of-the-art but other times really badly executed. Though warmmilk-n-honey did note that the terrible-looking horses are tradition, so thank god for them -

I felt the lack of budget most during the scene where Ciel has to run up to Sebastian and pretend to be excited that Seb elected him to be on the cricket team. He says something like "oh damn people are around, guess I'll have to milk the performance" but there's like two boys in the background and they're not even looking his way?? Guys... -

Some of the background music was fun and I will likely listen to it again on my own time. The opening really won me over too. While I still don't know what was up with the titan, at least the imagery was interesting, and we only ended up skipping it when we were in a hurry because it was fun to watch -

The voice actors did a good job, as far as I could tell. Funimation has definitely made some odd casting choices in terms of accents, but I really felt like the new members of the Japanese cast were giving it their all especially, and it was admittedly pretty fun to have so many familiar voices back in the roles in both languages -

I've always found this arc, especially the second half, to be a weak one, and overall I just thought the execution here worsened it. Goofy faces were made less goofy, flavor text was cut, and Funimation was actually out here changing some lines of dialogue for who knows what reason? Weird vibes -

The last episode was the most fun one by far. Cloverworks finally figured out how to do silly chibis, and they increased the Phantomfam antics in order to pad for time again, but in this instance it actually worked. The teaser at the end was slow-paced too but it was also for a legitimately good reason, so yay. The ambiance in the forest was spooky and quiet. It made me actually excited to see what comes next despite how rough this season was

I can't really say I was too disappointed though because I definitely expected not to be satisfied, you know me, I'm a stinker. I'm still glad the anime exists: the fandom was really out here starving and finally we've been given some juice. But overall I'm gonna give it a 4/10, which I think is actually very generous of me because I don't have a lot of nice things to say. Oh well. Green Witch, here we come

[angstics]

i’ve been mulling over this since the reveal because i’m sooo entranced by it: gerard's new haircut. like we hadn’t seen him have it so short in like a decade? and even tho i don’t quite understand all that’s going on there cut-wise 😭, i feel there’s something kinda gnc abt it… but then again maybe it’s just cause it’s gerard lol but since we know he gives a lot of emphasis to presentation as a performer, i’d just love to know what the thought process was and seeing as we can’t go right to the source i figured the next best option was you 🙏 basically what i’m asking is: what do u make of it? i’d love to see some thinkpieces on it bc i really do think it’s not just a random thing. sorry for the long ass ask <3

that gifset i just reblogged reminded me i never replied to this. iiiiiii think it's just a personal choice. even back in mcr 1.0 days, i think the band (the concepts and stories) was just an excuse to do what they really wanted to do (play around, dye their hair, cut it weird). i assumed the thought process was, "i have a show, lets cut the hair, lets cut it fun."

i also think it could be practical. during swarm tour, his hair visibly got in the way when it got wet and slapped him in the face (he'd push it or gel it back, wear it in a ponytail in one instance if im remembering right, hold his hair w a towel, wore that scarf the whole night at riotfest). gerard cut his hair a few times during the tour, most visibly b4 the la shows and b4 the 2023 shows (which was a couple inches off how short it was during wwwy!)

could be a character thing, it obviously has been related to that in the past lol. if it is, could be something about military short cuts, or even callback to the same significant cut in 06. could be to be more somber, to be a shock. and it was, the same way it was a shock in 06! but many times it also was not about the story ie the whole 02-05 period, the 10 thousand haircuts he had 07-09.

also could be she wanted to go butch after her femme era #butch

[undeadorion]

Slowly figuring out the face for a character I’ve had for ages. This is Liam. He’s the primary antagonist from my vampire detective story. It’s a world where vampires took over the world during the Industrial Revolution. Since then there’s been an emergence of hybrids. People born to human parents with some degree of vampirism. They are often sensitive to light, crave raw meat, have stronger senses and live a great deal longer than humans.

Vampire blood has also started to be used in medical care, due to its healing properties. However, pharmaceutical companies started trying to find a way to replicate the effects of vampire blood through various means, or extract only the traits they need, with terrible side effects. Usually permanent changes that can't be reversed.

Liam here is the product of the latter, even though he doesn't know it. He was granted the ability to charm people. Because he's unaware of it, it's always on. He can alter moods, behavior, opinions, and even memory. It is unknown whether or not the rest of his personality is also a result of this change. He goes well beyond a lack of empathy, he doesn't think of himself as human. Humans are there for him to play with, if he's anything he's meant to be a vampire. Someone with power and influence. He's always been an extreme sadist, and extremely cruel, but he didn't kill anyone until his late 20s. After dropping out of the police academy, he convinced a vampire to turn him, only he became violently ill and nearly died from the process. That vampire was his first kill.

Killing vampires is considered an extreme crime in this world. The police had all the evidence they needed and were prepared to haul him off to jail, but it was human cops that showed up to arrest him and they decided they had the wrong man after talking to him.

After that, any restraint Liam had vanished. He was untouchable. He's been rather nomadic, setting up little operations wherever he settles. Mostly selling drugs and finding new toys to play with. He did a stint in medical school and performed back alley surgeries for a while. He was pretty good at it, too. At least when his patients didn't "accidentally" die. He specialized in amputations, and patients sometimes woke up missing perfectly healthy limbs when they'd paid him for something else. Don't ask why Liam's freezer is always so well stocked with meat.

He feeds on the pain of others, especially torture he inflicts himself. With this, he eventually came to form a cult that worships an ultra powerful vampire (that doesn't exist). All his followers believe they will one day be chosen to turned, and any deviation from their path will result in severe and painful punishment. Mutilations, torture, etc. Saying the wrong thing could result in someone's tongue being cut out or mouth sewn shut, for example.

But really, those who are "chosen" to ascend are actually taken into Liam's basement and kept like pets or worse. It's not uncommon for him to get carried away and kill someone entirely on accident. Many instances of him telling them breathing them is a right they haven't earned, then unintentionally choking them to death. But usually the deaths are intentional, either because they're no longer fun to "play" with or they do something that pisses him off so severely he tortures them until they beg for death. Which he grants, eventually.

[thousand-winters]

Do you headcanon Hunter as having any issues with food/ eating from the EC?? I’ve been projecting myself way to hard lol

It's likely he definitely has some issues with that, because frankly... his whole life there was SO bad.

Mostly I figure Belos didn't really withhold food from him or anything like that, not directly anyway, because Hunter was supposed to be an scout and then his Golden Guard, if he just doesn't give him food, Hunter is going to end up passing out and being unable to do his training and his missions. Which, you know, it's not like it was vital for Belos, but he did keep the appearances of Hunter being important to him to some degree.

Now, I say not directly because while I imagine Hunter had his meals in the mess hall or whatever the Emperor's Coven has for that, just like everyone else, he ended up not getting as many meals as he could have because he felt too committed to his duties. It's clear he didn't sleep properly already, and if he had too many responsibilities, he probably cut corners when it came to eating as well, very "oh, I think I'll be fine if I just have one meal today, this work is more important".

Also, there was the guilt factor, with Belos constantly reminding him he took him in and gave him everything he has, so every time he failed a mission or simply didn't perform to the level that was expected of him, while I personally don't think Belos would straight up go "you're not eating today" or anything like that, Belos would very much make him feel like a waste of resources. He took him in, he gave him a place, a room, food, clothes, and Hunter can't even do what's asked of him? Ultimately the guilt would have made Hunter simply decide that he has NOT earned the right to go get some food because he has obviously disappointed his uncle. I feel like it fits Belos' methods of manipulation in which ultimately he made Hunter feel like he deserved everything bad that happened to him and at some level he didn't have to punish him himself for it to work.

The one instance he could be a little bit more carefree with that, I feel, is his missions. Because Eclipse Lake also showed that those were like privileges to him, and being withdrawn from them was horrible to him, which makes sense with the extra context in Thanks to them that it was the only times he was even allowed outside of the castle. I'm basing this solely on that one box of crackers in Separate Tides, sue me, but I think he would feel that he's worthy enough during those, because the emperor has entrusted him with them, to not have to feel like he hasn't earned food.

The problem would be that anything he got that wasn't assigned rations would have to come from his own pocket, and he probably had an assigned budget for each mission, so I don't think he could constantly afford snacks and fun things anyway, so even if it was the one moment he let himself have a little treat, it wouldn't happen often.

Once he's living with Darius and Eber, this is absolutely going to come up. Maybe not right away because he also would have gotten a positive and healthy example from his friends at the Human Realm, but I could see him getting a bad grade at school or something like that and then just... deciding he can't go eat because he failed and he can't just go and waste resources when he can't even do that, right?

... So the short answer for if I think he has food/eating issues is yes.

[theburningsunset]

so me and my partner have been rewatching That 70s Show together. i have many, many thoughts.

ok so in season 1 of That 70s show, Eric and his "man-crush" Buddy, whom he goes on multiple *platonic* dates with, turns out to be gay and kisses him, mistakenly thinking him to be gay. On at least one instance in the show's run, to my memory, Eric is put in a dress by his friends while asleep. A lot of the strife between him and his father Red stem from his lack of proficiency and interest in sports and other typical masculine behavior, as well as the overtly "effeminate" hobbies and behaviors he displays.

in season 7, the gang discovers that Eric has secretly been into roller disco. Kitty accepts it without question (Kitty is so well-intentioned-but-deeply-problematic-ally-coded) and promises to keep his secret. Eventually, she spills it, without meaning to, to Fez (the not-gay man who's effeminate behavior is only ever played for laughs, and is so straight that he's incredibly perverted and misogynistic, def not overcompensating). When Fez, Donna, and Kelso spy on Eric leaving, it really looks like a total transformation. His outfit is colorful and fun, with short-shorts, suspenders, and rainbow knee and elbow pads. Everyone follows him to the disco to watch him perform. His stage name is literally Rainbow btw. In that scene, he looks more genuinely happy and enjoying himself than at any other point in the series. When I heard the stage name, I knew this had to be an intentional decision. The entire episode felt like a very specific metaphor, with Eric at one point testing the waters with his friends to see if they'd accept his love of roller disco, only for Hyde to say that what he was saying made him want to beat him up. Before that scene, Kitty tries to convince Eric to come out tell his friends about his hobby. Eric replies that he can't, because enough about him already gets him relentlessly targeted and made fun of.

this show aired from 1998-2006, it featuring an onscreen M/M kiss on primetime was pretty groundbreaking, and while neither of the only two instances of gay men appearing included any instances of homophobia from other characters (amazing btw, keep Not having homophobia in shows pls), this was still the Y2K era, and the idea of a main character being gay was difficult to get greenlit. Even Fenton, Fez's recurring arch-nemesis in later seasons who is very stereotypically gay, constantly making innuendos and implications about being gay and cross-dressing, was still never canonically made gay. The show was also riddled with queer/transphobia via jokes and plot points, though usually covert. However, Kelso and Fez are shown (especially in later seasons) to have a very gay-coded relationship (sometimes all but saying it, paralleling their experiences with that of a heterosexual couple both as a plot point and a joke). Kelso also has a lot of queer flags come up all by himself, the biggest of which being an episode where his girlfriend Jackie puts makeup on him, lends him a dress, and dances with him in her bedroom (the joke at the end of this plot point being a shot of her father coming in, seeing this, and immediately rushing to choke Kelso, which as a trans woman was...fun to watch 😬). Kelso affirms multiple times, explicitly, that he very much enjoys the makeup and clothes Jackie put him in. During a different episode, he informs the gang that his girl name would be Michelle, said with insistence, like he had spent time thinking about it. Nonetheless, his queer-coding is also relegated to jokes.

But at some point, all of this pile-up of queer themes, metaphors, coding, and bits start to seem like more than just the low-hanging fruit of veiled homophobia for laughs. It makes me genuinely consider if the writers had queer characters that were confined to the cishet mold by the industry and took every opportunity they had to let it show through. Entirely possible that I'm overthinking this, but also, it would be far, far from the first time queer characters have been in the closet from even their own stories. It's not as much the case nowadays, but that used to be the norm, one heavily enforced. There's a reason Ellen, Will & Grace, and Glee were revolutionary at their times. They had pushed the envelope, given a spotlight to a minority very strongly and violently restricted from public view. Even with the progress each decade has seen for queer rights and representation, having openly queer main characters continues to be difficult and obstructed (sometimes explicitly, as seen with Inside Out 2). The places we can be visible are expanding, but areas where our invisibility or feigned nonexistence is compulsory fight tooth and nail to maintain their slice of the status quo pie.

Was That 70s Show just another casualty? idk, what am i, a historian? go ask jeeves or smthn

edited for clarity but also while im in this post again, i also wanna point out that while the show was overtly very fine with gay people, the narrative time and time again reinforces through the characters' prejudices that anything outside of their norm is not okay, including behaviors strongly associated with queerness. This note does discourage the argument for intentional queerness as one must assume that the writers' own biases are shining through (I suppose there vould be debate that it was chosen to be accurate for the characters and time but that requires a level of self-awareness that I don't personally think the show was capable of)

[nicsalazar]

Splash of serendipity || Nicole & Oliver

TIMING: Recent LOCATION: The Apple Gathering. PARTIES: @oliver--fox & @nicsalazar SUMMARY: Nicole encounters an old friend, Oliver, at the apple gathering. They haven't seen each other in a long time. WARNINGS: None

In the decade Nicole had lived in Wicked's Rest she had attended The Apple Gathering once or twice before. Verdict was still out on whether she’d enjoyed any of those instances. Regardless of how overwhelming it was being surrounded by so many people, she took pride in subjecting herself to the experience. When she was younger, she did it intending to test the jaguar’s response to her anxiety. Years older now, and with a recent stint stuck in an animal's body, the intention was to acquaint herself with her human side once more. It was why she kept taking opportunities like the bonfire to push against the pervasive instinct to isolate. 

Needless to say, she wasn’t having a great time. Nor a bad one, particularly. Nicole was simply used to looking at the glass half empty, reminding her that being back home would’ve been a more suitable way of spending the evening. Why didn’t she bring Nacho? Next time was a must. She kept on strolling down the farm, distantly observing the activities townspeople were engaging in. Loud laughs and shrieks reached her ears, guiding her attention toward the large basins set up for the classic apple bobbing activities.  

Amidst the crowd, she spotted a face she recognized, looking equally as curious about the contest taking place. Nicole approached with caution, waiting for better visual confirmation that she had the right person before speaking. She wanted to spare herself some embarrassment, ears heating up at the mere idea of mistakenly greeting a stranger. “Oliver?” she called out, her voice rising so it wouldn’t be drowned by the cheers and claps next to them. She hadn’t seen him in quite some time, though it wasn’t a surprise. She had vanished off the face of the earth for a good four years, trapped in the body of the jaguar. Only recently she began encountering those who were part of her life before that. 

She pressed her lips into a thin line, offering her best attempt at a smile and a curt nod. So much time had passed, she wondered if Oliver would even remember her at all. But the glint of recognition in his gaze eased some of her nerves. “Been a while. It’s— nice to see you.”

—

Oliver always liked coming to the fairs, he had always enjoyed going to random festivals in places that he went to. There was a certain amount of joy that permeated the air around them; and even though Oliver couldn’t feast on emotions like other fae, it was still a nice environment to be in. It was one of those events that he could go alone to, or come with others. He didn’t feel as if he was forced to be at it for a certain amount of hours before he could flee, rather it was something that he could come and go as he pleased. It helped that it happened during the fall. Summer festivals always made him get sweaty and being surrounded by a bunch of other people tended to just make him feel warmer and definitely impacted the amount of patience that he had for lines. In the winter, he often found himself not wanting to spend too much time at outside festivals; maybe checking some of them out quickly as he speed-walked through the cold. Which was unfortunate due to the beauty that winter held. 

Part of the fun at festivals was watching the random games that the organizers had concocted. Apple bobbing was a traditional game, one that Oliver had to have seen at least a thousand times, one that he had participated in at least a hundred times. There was something about having the pressure to perform a weird game with lots of people watching you. It was interesting though, that it seemed like the people participating today were having a harder time grabbing the apples then he was used to seeing. Maybe they just had really bad coordination, or the pressure of everyone watching was causing people to mess up. Regardless, it was a fun activity and Oliver cheered and clapped along with everyone else. 

He glanced up at the sound of his name, eyes widening when he saw the person in front of him. “Nicole?” It had to have been what, 4 years? Oliver had met her when he first came to town. Making friends with the park rangers was always a good move since it made him more likely to get any insider scoop of anything weird happening with the plants. However, after about a year, Nicole had seemingly fallen away from the typical rotation of rangers. He had thought that she had moved away, or maybe just changed jobs to something where they never ran into each other. “It has been! It’s great to see you too, how are you doing?” Oliver asked, running a hand through his hair. “I thought you had like left town or something, what have you been up to?”

—

Her smile was shy —a barely there curve on her lips undetectable to the naked eye— but warmth spread in her chest upon finding Oliver. Nicole was never the type of person who surrounded herself with many friends. There weren’t many people she felt comfortable enough giving that title to, not even before the jaguar found its home in the zoo and refused to give Nicole her body back. Standing now, in front of a familiar face from her past, she felt her own concerns confirmed: It was likely that she wasn’t a good friend. Why didn’t she look for Oliver? After those months spent settling back into society— she could’ve— should’ve done it. Oliver didn’t look like he harbored any resentment, however. His eyes were gentle despite his surprise, in turn, Nicole’s guilt turned into shame. “Yeah,” her cheeks burned, confirming her name. Given the time that had passed, it came as a relief that she was somehow memorable enough for Oliver to recall. 

“Hey,” she said with a slow nod, unsure whether to stand or sit. Having exchanged greetings meant the easiest part of any conversation was over. The part she could’ve rehearsed dozens of times in her head before approaching. Now it was up to her to keep the exchange going. She wrung her fingers, shrugging at his question. “I’m doing— Uh. It’s… it’s alright.” At some point, she would have to come out and explain exactly how she was doing, but doing so in the middle of an apple festival would be far too complicated. She glanced at the competition taking place in front of them, as a form of distraction. Her brows furrowed when she noticed the competitors struggling to pick up the apples. Didn’t look like the typical difficulties of the game, however. Odd. Her attention returned to Oliver briefly, and his comment warmed up her cheeks once more. “No—that’s, I didn’t leave…” she assured him quickly, rubbing her jaw while she scrambled to find a suitable explanation. Leaving would be, of course, the most logical answer for her sudden disappearance. But she wasn’t fast enough to come up with a place, or a reason, or anything that would sell the lie. More importantly, Nicole didn’t want to lie. Not to a friend. The truth was impossible to get out, though. Somehow the compromise was something worse. “It was uh— went on a retreat, sort of. Nature. Couldn’t reach out, cause— Technology wasn’t… recommended, y’know? It was so sudden. Should’ve— reached out sooner, though,” she pressed her lips into an apologetic smile. 

She wasn’t sure what possessed her to say what she said, but Nicole had offered similar answers in the past. She was out, in nature. Wasn’t complete bullshit, when she considered what the jaguar got up to in four years. Certainly didn’t have a bed or walls to call a house. Reeling after speaking more words than she was used to in a day, Nicole somehow had more to say. She could only attribute it to the nerves. “I’m uh, back at the park now, though. Should—You should stop by any time, we can go on a hike,” she would be looking forward to it, should he agree. He always had a special kind of sensibility for the vegetation. One she didn’t come across often. It made sense he’d dedicated his life to it. “And you? Doesn’t look like you changed a day,” her memory was nothing extraordinary, but it was impossible not to notice how similar he looked. If Nicole wasn’t aware of the time the jaguar spent in the zoo, she would’ve thought she was transported four years into the past.     

Slowly trudging through the bout of nerves, Nicole looked back at the strange bobbing contest, studying the competition with more intent. Why did the apples glide like that? Were they coated in something special? “They’re doing it wrong, aren’t they?”   

—-

Oliver's lips curved down ever so slightly, not quite a frown; but he could tell that Nicole seemed nervous about talking about how she was. She seemed different than the person he had met previously, less sure of herself for whatever reason. “Oh! That’s super cool. I love a good nature retreat.” It was unfortunate that they tended to either be semi-cult related or religiously focused; things that Oliver wasn’t interested in getting involved in. Plus, the people who went to them tended to be more concerned with getting high or having long, weepy conversations. It was why Oliver started joining more nature-focused groups rather than retreats. “Was it around here? Or did you get to go somewhere fun?” Oliver asked, grinning as he did. Oliver waved off her concerns about reaching out. “No worries, I’m awful with technology to begin with. Plus, life just busy sometimes. Did you switch jobs when you came back from the retreat?” A retreat surely wouldn’t last 4 years, right? 

His eyes lit up when she said that she was back at the park. “Oh! Amazing. We absolutely need to go on a hike at some point” Oliver nodded before cringing. “I don’t know if he even works there anymore, but there was a ranger named Adam? The redhead.  He..uh…didn’t have the most favorable feelings towards me after we got into a bit of a…break-up…” It had been more of a fling than a relationship, only lasting a few months, but it had become clear that the two of them were not a good match. “I think I was actually banned from the guard's shack at one point.” Oliver couldn’t help but laugh. He wasn’t sure how legitimate Adam’s threats had been, but he also hadn’t gone back since to see. He had his ways of sneaking onto the grounds that didn’t require him to go bother a ranger.  “So! Just a heads up that you may get some angry glares from him if he spots you hiking with me. 

Oliver shrugged at her question “What can I say, I’ve got good genes.” He joked. Oliver had found that deflection was one of the better pathways when it came to questions about his age. “Plus, it helps that I haven’t quite hit the old age of 30 yet, I’m sure once that happens, I’ll shrivel up as god intended” Oliver winked before laughing.  “I’m good though! I don’t remember where I had been in the process the last time I saw you, but I was able to open a plant shop downtown. It’s called Everlasting Garden, and it’s been doing pretty well!” He followed her gaze to the apples, eyebrows crinkling as he noted the continued difficulty that people seemed to be having. Usually, after the first couple minutes of getting used to the spotlight, people’s nerves would dissipate and they would be able to get the apples. But the apples looked almost like…they were moving away from the people on their own rather than because the waves were forcing them away. “Hm…I’m not sure. It definitely looks like something is off though.”

—

Nicole’s smile grew slightly, tension easing from her shoulders when Oliver accepted the explanation for her absence. She didn’t expect him to follow it up with another question, however. One that demanded she bullshitted some more. Fuck. Fuck. She rubbed along her jaw, “it was— uh, couple of hours north, yeah. Beautiful— beautiful landscape. The kind you don’t think exists in America anymore,” adding details was supposed to make it a better lie, no? At least that’s what she’d heard before. Leave little to no detail to be questioned. Oliver seemed to harbor no negative feelings about the lack of communication her disappearance caused. She appreciated that more than she could say it. “I get that. Awful with technology too,” and on the topic of being busy, she was certain nothing beat being a full-time attraction at the Zoo. She let out a tense breath as they circled back to the retreat discussion. “Ah… N—Not exactly, no, didn’t switch—” fuck. What other lies could she come up with? “Spent the 4 years there. Considered moving there too. Just uh— being off the grid is nice, y’know? Life’s too overwhelming these days.” It wasn’t a lie. Everything was too fast, too loud, too crowded. Nature retreat bullshit aside, she always dreamed of finding that sort of peace in the world. 

Her eyebrows knitted when Oliver brought up a fellow park ranger. “Adam?” Nicole racked her brain to put a face to that name. If she had a last name it would have been easier. A redhead named Adam? Ah— “Think he relocated— Everglades, last I heard. Shouldn’t be a problem,” though she was curious about Oliver knowing other rangers, and what the story there was. “That ban won’t hold up, you should be fine. What, uh—did you do in the shack?” she wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but the question was out of her mouth regardless. 

Something about Oliver’s joke about aging gave her confidence a small boost. “The old age of 30?” she replied wryly, a lopsided grin etched on her face. “You’re right, it’s downhill from there. I shriveled up,” she played along, for once it was much easier to take things with humor rather than ponder on what growing old meant for her. Of those years she’d lost to the jaguar. Of every experience the beast took from her. Oliver was speaking about his current life, his plant shop and Nicole refused to be dragged by the threads of her past. She forced a bigger smile, less genuine for a moment, before she felt herself return to the conversation. “Sounds familiar. You must’ve mentioned wanting to do that, yeah. Happy you made it happen,” she nodded, knowing the amount of time she spent downtown was fairly limited, but making a mental note to search for Everlasting Garden the next time she found herself around the neighborhood. “Haven’t kept up my garden since— the retreat, maybe… I’ll uh— give that another try, could use any advice.” She would like that, something to keep her hands and mind busy. 

Her nerves had certainly subsided compared to when she entered the gathering. Nicole had underestimated what having a familiar face with her could do. She kept her gaze on the contest, shaking her head. The apples glided away before they even came into contact with people. Making Nicole question whether they were being pulled by something invisible. “Gonna give it a try?” After all, he was the more adventurous of the two.   

—

Oliver nodded as she explained what she had been up to. “Neat! Sounds like an amazing experience.” He always loved seeing sights like that, ones that seemed almost fake; like they didn’t fit into what nature was supposed to look like. Seeing a breath taking view was easy to pass off as not important until you actually saw one and then it was something you held onto with a fierce grip; determined to not let it go.  He understood why nature needed to be torn down to create space for human activities; people needed places to survive after all. It didn’t mean that it wasn’t a tough pill to swallow when he watched perfectly healthy trees get torn down for concrete pillars. “Totally makes sense, doesn’t sound like it would be easy to tear yourself away from. What ended up bringing you back here?” Was he just being nosy? Maybe; but he was also just curious in general. 

“Yes! Getting off the grid can be wonderful sometimes.” Just existing in nature? Not being concerned about missing a phone call or ignoring friends? It was always a nice break. In between new lives; Oliver tended to do at least a month-long camping trip. He told himself that it was to spend time with trees, do research, those types of things; but it was also just a nice excuse to ditch humanity for a bit. It reminded him, that he hadn’t done so in awhile. Maybe, when things seemed…less chaotic around here, he would do just that. Leave one of his assistant managers in charge for a month. If the store burns down, well, he can aways open a new one or something. 

When she mentioned that Adam had moved to the Everglades, he hummed quietly. “Makes sense, I think he had family down there.” He had always talked about how glad he was to have left though, it made him wonder why he had gone back. Oliver decided not to spend too much time on that thought; it wasn’t any of his business, not anymore. At her insinuation, he felt his face heat up. “Whatever you are thinking, it wasn’t that.” Oliver laughed, waving a hand away. “In our last fight, he had just said that you guys all had a thing where you could ban exactly one person from the shack with no questions asked. I have no idea if that’s true, but I didn’t want to test it to find out.” He shrugged. That hadn’t stopped him from wondering if he had a mug shot on the wall somewhere, or if his name was just on a list; or if it had just been an empty threat from Adam. 

“Well duh, haven’t you heard, at any moment after you turn 30, you become an ‘old person’” Oliver giggled as he did the air quotes. “I’m just joking, you actually look great” He said, before his grin widening at her request for assistance with plants. “Absolutely! I’d love to help anyway I can. We have a pretty wide range of things available, so like even if you just want a bouquet of flowers or something; we have that too.” He explained. “But if you give me an idea of what you are interested in doing, I’m sure I can come up with a list of possibilities.” Oliver tilted his head to the side a bit as he looked over at the crowd. “Mm, maybe? I don’t know if I would be any better than any of the other people trying though. You?”

—

Too late to go back now. Nicole couldn’t bring up how she had been stuck as a jaguar for all those years. Or what landed her in the zoo in the first place. Too many people walked around them to even want to dive into that complicated part of her past. The lie would have to keep snowballing until she felt comfortable to clarify. Some day. The idea of maintaining the charade for longer than a day made her stomach sink. She hated being the architect of her own misery, but that remained consistently true. Letting the bursts of laughter and cries coming from the contestants distract her for a second, she focused on the young man who resurfaced with his mouth empty, water splashing around him. Oliver wanted to know what brought her back, and Nicole wondered the same thing. What or who broke the jaguar from its confinement? She shrugged, “It was time, I suppose. Wanted to be around people again,” and though her uncomfortable demeanor often contradicted the claim, she wasn’t lying. She needed human connection, even if her body rejected it at any given time.

“Yes. That’s— yeah.” At least Oliver agreed that being off the grid had some positive effects, and she wasn’t pressed to reaffirm her stance or add more to the lie. Would’ve ended up backfiring at some point, surely. And though every question Oliver asked sent a wave of discomfort through her, she couldn’t help but feel touched that someone cared enough to ask. After all those years she’d been gone. 

She appreciated the more shallow turn the conversation took, thinking back to her ranger times with fondness. “Think he did, yeah. He never liked the weather here either,” she commented. She supposed, with the continuous instances of life-threatening danger that presented in town, Nicole wouldn’t mind relocating at some point. Somewhere warmer. Where she could enjoy the landscapes in peace, not worrying about supernatural beasts coming for her head at every turn. When Oliver blushed at her own insinuation, her ears burned too. How else was she supposed to take his words then? “Ah. Y— I don’t… wasn’t thinking anything,” she shook her head, breathing out a laugh when he waved his hand. “He was bullshitting you, don’t worry, you can go whenever” Sure, sometimes visitors had to be restricted from particular areas, but those bans were always earned. She doubted Oliver would ever do anything that went against the park’s best interest.

“Do feel like an old person, I guess,” her body might not outwardly reflect it, but—she wasn’t sure she related to many of the things young people did. For example, all that time they spent on their phones doing who knows what. “Back pain, y’know?” she deadpanned instead, a wry smile on her face. The source of her pain had never been discovered, but she needed no fucking doctor to know it was less of a physical wound and more… of a spiritual one. The jaguar’s tails had been torn, and they both had to endure the pain. She nodded politely as Oliver offered his help with anything she could need to restart her garden, “I’ll uh, have to check what I still have to give you an idea. You got the same number? Could text you tonight…” Nicole preferred keeping most of her contacts in a notebook, the old way, after losing her phone too many times to unexpected jaguar shifts. She didn’t care to hear about how shit like that could be kept in an email or other places. Better that information stayed safe at home. 

Her eyes drifted to the apple bobbing once more, in time to watch a furious old guy walk away shouting about how rigged the competition was. Nicole wasn’t sure that was the problem. New faces surrounded the basins, all with similar eager faces to prove themselves. Every time, the apple spun away from them. “Don’t know,” she shrugged, lifting an eyebrow at the crowd gathered. “Not much of a— embarrassing myself in public kind of person,” though she wasn’t sure that ever stopped her from feeling embarrassed in public. “But uh— guess if you try, I’ll try it too.”  Her gaze narrowed, a sudden shift in her eyes revealing the strange mist surrounding the floating apples. What the fuck was that about? “Huh,” a second later, she didn’t see anything more than a regular human would. Had she imagined that? “Or maybe it’s a waste of time?”

—

Oliver hummed in understanding. He understood that all too well. He knew there were other Leshy’s who were content to simply live in the forests, not to involve themselves with humanity if they didn’t have to; but that had never been Oliver. While time away could be nice, there was something that Oliver enjoyed about being around mortals and interacting with other species who were living in the same situation as him. “I gotcha, sometimes it can be nice to speak to an actual person every once in a while.” He smiled softly. “But! I’m glad you’re back; excited to see you around.” That was something that he was still getting used to. It used to be that Oliver was always the one leaving, but now he had been the one who had stayed and was the one still here when people returned. 

Oliver couldn’t help but laugh at her equally flustered appearance. “Sorry! I guess I could have described that better.” He shook his head, giggles still coming out before he took a deep breath “That’s good to know though.” Now he felt a little bad for sneaking around the trail entrances the last year or so; but it had also been kinda of exciting, thinking that he was breaking a stupid rule like that. It wasn’t as if he had been hurting anyone, so it was all in good fun.  He made a mental note to actually sign into the book the next time he went out there. 

“Ah, yes, those darn aches and pains that come with aging.” He sighed. While he didn’t experience the ones that a normal person would; the aches and pains that he dealt with concerning his trees were almost worse he thought. “Of course! Obviously, there’s no rush.” Oliver stated before nodding. “Yep! I have the same number.” Cellphones were definitely an invention that Oliver was glad had come around. It was so much simpler then when he had to rely on a house phone, or letters before that. While he sometimes missed the more dated technology; and rarely did anything more with his phone than call and text; it was nice to have it on him when he needed it. 

Oliver's lips formed a line as he got a better look at what was going on. Something certainly seemed off about the whole situation. This was a carnival game, one that should, theoretically, be something that had more winners than losers with how simple of a concept is was. However, Oliver wasn’t even sure he had seen anyone win it the entire time he had been standing here. Whatever forces were at play, Oliver wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with it today. “Ah, you know, I think I’ll pass on this one. I don’t know how hygienic dunking my face in water that other people have been biting into is something I want to do today” He joked

—

Nicole nodded in quiet contemplation, uncertain if nice would’ve been the word she chose to describe any sort of conversation with a human being. More often than not, socialization felt like torture. Or a puzzle that she couldn’t work out, no matter how simple the edges were. She had believed, after her first stint as a jaguar, that she was getting a hang of it. Letting people in, finding ways to reach out even if they were imperfect. No one had demanded perfection from her, it was her own mind creating obstacles. Her friends only wanted her to be present. But the zoo happened. And it set back her progress, dashed the small amount of confidence she had built at the time. No, talking to people wasn’t nice. What she reaped if she kept trying, however, was always something much sweeter. “I look forward to seeing you again, too” that sentiment she agreed with. She was thankful for how understanding Oliver had been about her sudden disappearance. She promised not to let him down again. Perceived disappointment or otherwise.  

At least they were both equally flustered over the fumbling of words. Nicole rubbed her jaw, eyes cast to the ground as she breathed out one final laugh. Hopefully, it would help them move past it. “It’s fine. You’re— Honest misunderstanding,” she had a tendency to misinterpret things, processing them at a slower pace than most. Sometimes it caused moments of embarrassment but— at least her friend was laughing. It counted for something. Perhaps it was an instance that would result in those… inside jokes. She looked forward to having one someday.

Her lips curled into a coy smile, feeling slightly more confident after the shared laugh. She wasn’t used to witty conversations, not ones she’d participated willfully in, but she felt the words come more freely in Oliver’s presence. “Yeah. You’ll— see. You’ll understand better when you get older,” she feigned offense, but her smile grew after. Luckily for both of them, Oliver kept his phone number, meaning Nicole must’ve had his contact back home, in the phonebook she kept on her nightstand. She tried to keep her enthusiasm moderate. “Alright. I’ll, uh— keep in touch, then. For the garden help. Thinking… less flowers more… shit I can grow to eat. Trips downtown sometimes can get annoying,” She didn’t always trust the shit they had at the farmer’s market, either. She remembered those pumpkins who bullied her and Vic too well. 

Oliver wasn’t in the mood for the apple competition, and Nicole was more than fine to sit this one out too. She grimaced at his joke, glancing back at the water. That would’ve been far more entertaining as a child. Now… not so much. His words managed to kill her curiosity as well, no longer interested in staying around until the humans figured out the apples were tampered with. “Not going to disagree there. Besides—” she caught herself from bringing up the mist she’d seen through the eyes of the jaguar. “Might be better stuff to do,” she mumbled, at the same time a woman face-planted into the water, turning the basins and spilling water everywhere. That was it. The small crowd and the contestants shrieked and cried out in joy. “Why don’t we check what else they have around? First time I’ve come to the festival in years— Wanna see if anything’s changed.” Not much, she assumed. When it came to their love for fall Wicked Rest’s folks seemed to stick to their traditions. 

—

He rolled his eyes at her comment about knowing about things once he was older. It reminded him of his mother telling him those same words when he was a child. Even as old as he was now, Oliver knew that some things would just stay out of reach for him. Possibly forever. Oliver hummed quietly, going through a mental Rolodex of what he currently had in the shop that she may like. “Gotcha! I can definitely give you some seeds for different fruits and veggies.” With winter quickly approaching, there wouldn’t be as many ‘fun’ things that could be grown but there was still plenty that she could plant. Plus, Oliver had a feeling that Nicole wouldn’t mind getting a quick lesson on gardening tips and tricks the next time she came in. Now wasn’t the time though. 

At her question about what else they had at the festival, Oliver’s eyes lit up. If there was one thing that he enjoyed, it was info-dumping about things that didn’t hold that much importance. Especially when he had an actual reason to know the information. “There are a few things that have changed! Not much, you know, the normal stuff is still here and all. There’s a tarot thing, a corn maze-” Oliver pauses, turning the idea of talking about his weird experience in that maze over in his mind a few times before pushing it away. No reason to bring up something like that right now. “I don’t know if this was before or after you left, but you know Mr &Mrs’ Jack’o Lanterns? Well, now it’s just Mr’s. It was a whole thing…” Oliver’s voice quieted as they entered the crowd. Those that stayed around the watering hole continued to go after apples that seemed intent on skirting any danger that may approach it.