#there's also SO many videos on that playlist lmao but hey listen. i sit in front of a computer to draw 8 hours a day 5 days a week

[srapsodia]

coach donny's reactions are fun but if i may also recommend sarah pavan's reactions! she's a former member of the canadian olympic team and not only is her volleyball talk great but she engages with the show really well, you can tell she loves it

oh hell yeah that sounds awesome! thanks for the rec!

love her disbelieving faces on the first thumbnail jfjsjf

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[gamerwoo]

Seventeen headcanon: Seventeen as mall workers

a/n: I’ve always lowkey wanted to do some sort of mall series but never actually had a solid plot so we gonna just do this instead. and Pentagon will be mentioned bc I wanna do one for them and I want them all to work in the same mall and no one can stop me 😤

-

Choi Seungcheol

currently works at GameStop

he quit his job at GNC a few months ago because he decided he hates working out

while he hates having to restock things or go into the back for stuff, he at least likes video games

definitely not the dude you want to end up yelling at on the phone

there have been so many times he’s had to give the phone off to Wonwoo or another co-worker because he would definitely lose his job

too high of a temper to work at GameStop tbh

but he knows what he’s talking about, so

has definitely recommended you games even before he worked in there

you’d just happen to be in there when he was and he’d notice you looking between two games and he’d tell you which one was better suited for you after asking what you normally play/what you like

now that he works there, he always puts in his two cents and will give you his discount on top of your own

-

Yoon Jeonghan

the current manager at Starbucks

he used to be the manager at American Eagle but he hated working there because retail sucks

unfortunately, the only other job he could snag was in -- you guessed it -- still retail

but at least he gets yelled at slightly less in Starbucks

and it’s probably only because he makes everyone else do things for him so he doesn’t have to

will take his sweet ass time making a drink

refuses to work the register

would rather stay off toward the back and make the drinks than deal with the people

always says he’s too busy to do things because he’s still training Yanan even though Yanan’s worked there longer than Jeonghan has

he’s also slightly salty at Yanan because he might be the better looking barista

one time he asked you if him or Yanan was cuter and you said him so he gave you your drink for free

refers to you as his “favorite customer”

-

Joshua Hong

works at Guitar Center

between him, Jihoon, and Jinho, he probably knows the least about instruments

pretty much only knows guitar things

but all he does is sit at the counter and play the guitar and sing

you are literally the only person who likes hearing him sing Sunday Morning

Jihoon told him to stop before he smashed the guitar over his head but you were in the store to kill time before your break ended and you said you were enjoying it

so Josh smirked and continued while Jihoon rolled his eyes

“’customer’s always right’ my ass...”

whenever you come in or he sees you walk by he’ll be like “got any requests?”

has offered to give you guitar lessons but you're always busy with work so you say “maybe another time”

but he continues to ask

-

Wen Junhui

works at the pet store downstairs

there hasn’t been a single time you’ve gone in there or walked past there and he wasn’t holding an animal in his arms

loves all the animals

also makes animal noises at the animals but it’s weird because he actually sounds like the animals

notices you come in to play with the animals during your break so now he always tries to get you to bring one home

“it’s not for the business, I just want them to find homes”

once got yelled at for actually getting in one of the puppy pens to play with them

-

Kwon Soonyoung

currently works at Hot Topic

the only reason being that store could not give less of a hell what goes on

he’s been fired from literally every other place at the mall

got fired from Starbucks for drinking too much coffee and shaking so badly all the time that he would spill drinks

fired from Build-A-Bear for exploding a bear with stuffing and making a child cry

fired from Bath & Body Works for dropping candles and spraying perfume in a customer’s mouth on accident

dropped and broke a guitar at Guitar Center

basically his last hope was Hot Topic but if Wooseok can work there and do absolutely nothing, Soonyoung was safe working there

he does attempt to do his job, it’s just that when it comes to basically existing, he’s bad at it

knocks things over, trips on things, is the loudest thing in the store

but he’s friendly and he does his job so who can complain

-

Jeon Wonwoo

the manager at GameStop

the youngest one working there but he’s in charge

usually the one to deal with the shitty customers but Wonwoo is thankfully good at containing his anger

well, at least until he hangs up the phone or the person is gone

goes in the back to yell about it to whoever is back there, even if they’re listening or not

Shinwon and Seungcheol give him a hard time for being the manager and always laugh and go “glad we’re not you!”

but he does love his job because he gets to work with video games

lowkey not very good with the girls who ask him for help though

gets blushy and can’t look them in the eyes

actually he’s really shy with people in general so tbh he’s always somewhat flustered

but he’s always feels happy when he helps someone find a new game or something so he likes his job

he’s usually the one who checks you out at the register and he’s the one who signed you up for a rewards card because you were in there so often

you don’t know this but before the rewards card, he would just give you his discount because you were literally always getting games or stuffed animals or pop figures from there

-

Lee Jihoon

the manager at Guitar Center

again, the youngest at his store, but the one in charge

his assistant manager, Jinho is slightly angry about it

but Jihoon knows everything about everything

any instrument you need fixed or need info on, he’s your guy

he comes off as very serious and not too friendly, but if you make him crack a smile, he suddenly seems super approachable

if he sees you having lunch at the food court when he’s on his break, he joins you sometimes

“you don’t give me a headache”

you assume that’s a compliment

some customers don’t take him seriously because they’re rude and assume he’s “a child”

but of course he schools their asses in his knowledge of instruments, so

sometimes his work is so satisfying lmao

-

Lee Seokmin

works at Bubble Bee

between him and Kino, it’s no wonder they get a lot of business

they’re both so cute and sweet and smiley

there was a short period of time where Soonyoung worked there and tbh those two were a mess

suddenly they only shared one braincell and poor Kino was stuck cleaning up their messes

but Seokmin and Kino work well together

not to mention Seok looks really adorable in the uniforms

always makes really good bubble tea

likes when the straw color matches the color of the drink though

you’ve never spoken to him much but he’s always smiling and cracking jokes and tbh you’re soft for him

-

Kim Mingyu

he was hired at GNC like, a month ago

he used to work at Starbucks but he got fired

because even though he made good coffee, the poor big idiot is clumsy as hell and kept spilling things and dropping things and knocking things over

Hongseok and Matthew knew him sorta so Matthew decided to hire him

he doesn’t really know what he’s doing but it’s fine

Hongseok’s training him while Matthew does most of the work since he’s manager

people started calling them the Big Tiddy Committee which you think is kinda funny

he’s usually in there when you go in to hang out with Hongseok and he’s really sweet

a lil dumb, but sweet

-

Xu Minghao

works at Lush

he originally planned to work at Sephora because he’s good with like, fashion and stuff

but he didn’t feel like dealing with that and Lush seemed less...annoying

he does seem kinda quiet and a little cold at first because he doesn’t really smile a whole lot except when politely greeting someone

but it’s easy to make him laugh

and he has a cute laugh and a really pretty smile

so when you first went in there to get a bath bomb and he asked if you needed help, you were really tempted to just say you were just looking

but you let him help and you got to talking and Minghao was really sweet

sometimes he has lunch with you, too because you just like talking to him

you found out he’s friends with Jun from the pet store and Yanan from Starbucks

it seems like a weird group of friends but hey, you also thought Minghao was a lot colder than he turned out to be

he always texts you when your favorite items are in stock and he may or may not use his discount and set them aside for you to pick up

“cash app me later it’s fine”

-

Boo Seungkwan

works at Sephora

he really wants to do makeovers but he’s not allowed to lmao

mostly just works the register and like lowkey judges everyone’s makeup

he will hype the hell out of you if he thinks you did something well

“your eyeliner is insanely sharp, oh my god”

“your eye shadow is beautiful!”

“that lipstick color looks so good with your skin tone”

has no frickin idea what to do with his discount because he doesn’t wear makeup

you once went in there and asked him for help and he just blinked at you and went “okay, let me find someone who knows what they’re doing”

at least he’s honest

-

Chwe Hansol

works at FYE

makes playlists to play at work in the store

literally just always vibing

the chillest worker in the entire mall tbh

one time he helped his manager, Hui make you a mixtape because you were looking for new music

so then he got interested and started talking to you as well about music

at this point, you’re going to befriend the whole store

looks like he doesn’t do much because he’s usually sitting at the counter and vibing

but he loves helping out customers and picking out music for them or fining things for them

he just loves to help out and talk about music

-

Lee Chan

works at American Eagle

when you see him in those jeans, you get it

he’s like a walking billboard because damn he looks r e a l n i c e

usually working the sales floor so folding and getting things from the back if someone can’t find a size

doesn’t work the register too often

so whenever you go in, he’s usually who greets you at the door with his beautiful smile

honestly he just looks like he should be working at that kind of store y’know? he fits

he doesn’t mind the job even though Jeonghan couldn’t stand it

despite that, he still is human and understand that shit is expensive

and since he recognizes you as a fellow mall worker, he sometimes goes up to the store you work at and let’s you know when they’re having special sales and stuff

[polygarnstars]

part 1: 4, 12, 15, 18, and 19

If you think I’m going to have common sense and not answer all of these in a single post, I have Bad News lmao

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Smart, mostly. “Gifted”. This very much Did Not Last lmaoooo

12. name of your favorite playlist? I literally never make playlists I’m a stupid fuck who uses their spotify premium to skip freely through all my thousands of liked songs on shuffle until I find something I want to listen to lmaooooo (Having said that: Rey and I put together a playlist for some characters we were entering a contest to win last fall which I titled Story and Song after the TAZ arc and also because we wrote Way Too Much for it and I’m Very Proud Of That)

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Okay upon reading this I initially genuinely couldn’t remember any of the books I read in school because for the last several years of my schooling I just fuckin Sparknotes and TV Tropes-ed everything lmao... having said that, I do remember enjoying Maus! It was neat having a graphic novel assigned amongst all the “literary classics” that I couldn’t sit through a sitting of without falling asleep, and it may be the furry in me but the depiction of the characters/people as animals was Good :0c See, if all history was depicted with methods like this, I’d maybe actually be able to remember it ghfdjhgjfkdl

18. ideal weather? Depends on the day, but generally: Between like 65-80°F, not humid, not a lot of wind, and either sunny, partly cloudy, or drizzly but not outright storming. Basically decent temperatures without feeling like I’m walking through soup because of the humidity and weather that’s not completely gray and boring. Aka what Maine basically never is lmaoooo

19. sleeping position? I change positions every five minutes I swear to god (don’t take that out of context gfhdjbhvjd). Usually with at least one arm draped over a pillow that is Definitely Not Being Mentally Portrayed As A Character I Like To Supplement The Fact That I Did Not Get Enough Affection To Be A Functional Adult As A Child ghfdjknbhgfjdk

21. obsession from childhood? bold of you to assume i don’t still obsess over nintendo games (and just video games in general tbh)

23. strange habits? OKAY I COULDN’T THINK OF ANYTHING FOR THIS AT FIRST BUT I HAVE ONE NOW: MIDNIGHT FRIES

28. five songs to describe you? Speeding - LightsDaydreaming - ParamoreMusic - Mystery SkullsNo Lullaby - SIAMÉSLonely Dance - Set If Off+Bonus because it came up on Spotify while I was shuffling for songs for this and it’s a Mood: Pineapples Do Not Belong on a Pizza - Vargskelethor

29. best way to bond with you? I don’t know I usually just scream about ocs or video games with people and suddenly it’s been a year??? @riskreyes how has it been a year since we started talking but also how has it only been a year??? Wild bvhfdjkbhvgfjdk

30. places that you find sacred? Lmao I’ve never had anywhere like that really. Need a goddamn lock on my door :p I guess... the woods by my house? As a little kid before things got shitty my neighbor’s cousin or niece or something would go out there wandering around catching frogs and stuff in the spring or almost falling into the frozen streams during winter. When things started to go to shit in my life as a teenager I would hide out there to get away and nobody would find me. I haven’t been recently but the last time I did my friend and I walked along the train tracks and dove off into the woods by the side to avoid the amtrak coming by, it was great lmao. Uhh, other than that... I dunno, Boston and New York and New London all make me feel good to visit. Probably mostly because during those trips I don’t feel trapped in a dying land like Maine feels like bgvhfdjkhvgfjd

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ......my entire wardrobe is my work outfit, excessive graphic tees, and jeans. So uhh... I dunno. I guess my NWTB shirts are pretty rad, I’d kick a dude’s ass wearing Nate’s merch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? if i have to see another ad for some fuckin branch of the us military while i’m just out here trying to watch people play video games i swear to god-

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Oh boy I don’t know how weird these are but do you want a list??? I can give you a list hang on- In 4th grade we had a day of class where we all just had a party and ate chips and salsa and stuff because the pats won the super bowl and our teacher was Obsessed- In middle school my math class started working out of college textbooks, which is a bit much when you’re 11, advanced classes or no. Yet somehow none of the other students had any problems with this- Also in middle school, the school counselor really wasn’t very Good at his job so I usually just ended up playing Rock Band in his office instead of talking out any of my Many, Many Problems. I played the drums, for the record- Also in middle school, one time I straight up fell down a flight of stairs? Like, a full flight of stairs. Fuckin somersaulting down the stairs. The binder I was carrying broke open, papers went everywhere, my arm got cut open somewhere along the way and started bleeding. I get to the bottom, the other students are staring at me in horror, aforementioned counselor fuckin steps out of his office which is, of course, right at the bottom of the stairs, all concerned because what the fuck a kid just fell down the stairs, right? And so I, laying on the floor disoriented and laughing, declare, and I quote: “That was fun, let’s do it again!”- THE MOTHERFUCKING MAC AND CHEESE MUFFINS IN HIGH SCHOOL. Macaroni and cheese baked into the sweet batter of a muffin. I refused to touch the stuff but a friend of my did and it was bad enough he had to go to the trash can and fucking empty his stomach in it.- SAID FRIEND ALSO MANAGED TO GET A CARTON OF MILK THAT EXPIRED A MONTH BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED AT THE START OF ONE OF OUR YEARS IN HIGH SCHOOL and if I didn’t trust cafeteria food before that sealed the deal on me Never Trusting It Again- OH BUT SPEAKING OF CAFETERIA FOOD one time in the old school before the renovation, in like freshman year I think? I laughed so hard a piece of spicy chicken strip flew up my windpipe and got stuck in my nose and it was too big for me to snort out so I had to suck it back down and for the rest of the day all I could smell was burning- ON ANOTHER FOOD RELATED TOPIC down in the library I was on my iPad and 3DS because I had Long Since Given Up On School and some asshole dudes threw a rotting orange at me and it splattered all over the screens of both? So I picked up the remains and chucked it back at them and yelled “Do you wanna fucking NOT?” and they all ran off. The librarian heard me yell and saw me throw the orange back at them and she just didn’t give a fuck lmao- The librarians at my school were cool as shit really during one of our years we had to do x hours of volunteer work so I did some adjustments to the library catalogue for mine but the thing is I was fast enough at it that there really wasn’t enough to fill up my required hours so instead of giving me more to do they just sort of let me and my friends hang out playing Yu-Gi-Oh and called that good lmao. (For the record I only had one starter deck so I let my friend pick half of the cards and I would use the half she didn’t want. I managed to fuckin WRECK her with throwaways it was Iconicque)- OKAY ONE LAST LIBRARY STORY on the last day of finals I was hanging out in one of the smart tv rooms in the library right? My last finals weren’t for a few hours and lord knows I wasn’t gonna study, ADHD ass couldn’t do that and I’d already given up on school lmao. So I fucking... I brought my Wii U to school, hooked it up to the smart tv, and just started playing Splatoon there in the library. One of the librarians walked past to check on everyone, stopped at my room, watched me play for a minute (I noticed her and just sort of nodded and waved like ‘Sup’ so she Knew what was going on), and then just LEFT. Like, she didn’t give a fuck. Shoutout to the librarians, the Chillest- ALRIGHT LAST STORY LAST STORY I straight up never got all the credits I needed to graduate lmao. I was missing half a credit but they let me go anyway and to this day I cite the reason as being my high scores on the SAT/PSAT? I was the first student at the school in like, a decade, to have gotten an award from the National Merit Scholarship Corporation for my performance on them, and I guess they must have thought that me failing to graduate on time would look bad on them because, uh, yeah, it would, if people found out their teachers couldn’t handle a ~smart kid~ to the point that they did poorly enough to not even graduate with the rest of their class nobody would be willing to send their kids there lmao. And that’s the story of how I graduated when I wasn’t technically supposed to!!!

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? That’s a good fuckin question hey shit memory what was that thing that made us laugh so hard we couldn’t breathe again?...Don’t remember? Yeah I thought so lmaoI dunno, probably a joke in some let’s play? Or... god. Now that I think about it was probably the Slicer of T’pire Weir Isles moment actually. Holy shit, that was good.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? That I’ve ever tried? Jesus, I dunno, I have issues with texture more than flavor. I Refuse to eat my mother’s stuffing because it’s literally just soggy ass bread. In terms of pure flavor alone? Her shepherds pie. It’s just... there is no flavor. It’s like eating cardboard. I’m begging you, De, use seasoning. If I ever have to eat shepherds pie that just tastes like tin from canned peas and vague hints of unseasoned beef again I’m going to go on a murderous rampage.That said? F in the chat to Cameron for that mac and cheese muffin. Rest in pieces

73. favorite weird flavor combo? GVFHDJBVDN JUST GONNA MAKE ME SHARE THE DILL PICKLE/CHOCOLATE PUDDING PACK COMBO FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE HUH

93. nicknames? Gar, Garn, Lane, Bill, Master, Pants, Shortpants. The first three are self-explanatory, first two are shortenings of my name and then my masc/surname. The latter four come from usernames of mine - Bill from Bill Ciforce (If you stack a Bill Cipher on top of two other Bill Ciphers, you get the Ciforce), Master, Pants, and Shortpants from MasterShortpants in reference to one of Link’s nicknames in Skyward Sword

95. favorite app on your phone? Does the internet app count? No? Lmao. Spotify I guess :p Need me some Tunes

[jawnjendes]

shawn meets... | aria

SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)(continuation of goth gf)

AN: time jump lmao. sry in advance.

***let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist

previous chapter

aria’s [abandonded] origin story | aria’s playlist | masterlist

Eight months later.

Shawn was beyond tired. Shawn was not allowed to be tired. Shawn, the sun has almost gone down and we still have so much to do today! Stop sleeping and pay attention!

Honestly, nobody was keeping track of how many interviews had been done today. Shawn should have kept track, that way he would know how many were left before he was done for the day. He was only half listening to what his manager Andrew was saying.

“A lot of Internet stars want you these days,” he said. “This girl was the only one who had something interesting to do with you. Good thing you stayed in your sweats today.”

Oh yeah. A majority of the interviews Shawn did today were done over the phone. For some goddamn reason, he and his whole team had to move from place to place for each one. This was annoying, and this was Hollywood, apparently. At least he didn’t have to change for this interview, whatever it was going to be.

Andrew was leading the team through a plaza somewhere in Los Angeles. Shawn was just on autopilot at this point. He took a dinner break a couple of hours ago, but he just wanted to be done already. He wanted to go to bed, even if he wasn’t planning on sleeping. He couldn’t really sleep these days, and it was by choice.

The team stopped in front of a door that said “DANCE STUDIO” in white letters. As usual, Andrew made Shawn wait outside with Jake the bodyguard while the rest of the team went inside. It was a moment to let things sink in and breathe while he was almost alone. Shawn had to put on his happy mask once again, even if it was the last thing he felt.

“How you holding up?” Jake asked, watching him carefully.

Shawn knew what he was asking, but shrugged it off. “Just a little tired.”

“Nightmare,” he said with a nod.

“What? No, I don’t have those anymore.”

“I wasn’t asking, I’m telling you.”

He stayed quiet. It’s not like anything could be done about it right now. There’s other things to worry about. Andrew always told Shawn just to not think about it. Think about happier things, like walking into this damn studio.

Andrew came out of the room after a few minutes, gesturing for them to enter. Here goes another round of answering the same questions he’s been asked all day.

There were two studio lights stood on either side of a camera set up in front of the mirrors that spanned across the wall. It wasn’t the huge Hollywood set up he had gotten used to. There were chairs lined up against the wall away from the camera, and there was no crew either, just two girls handling everything. The life of YouTubers.

A blonde girl in glasses was fixing the lens on the camera, but she looked up and smiled at Shawn when he entered the room. The other girl with curly brown hair was doing the splits in the middle of the hardwood floor. She looked up as well, and was quick to get up and greet him.

"Hi! I'm Aria Mercer, it's so nice to meet you!"

Aria was very short, given that her head was tilted up to look Shawn in the eyes. She was in red sweats and a One Direction tee, making him feel better about his drab appearance.

"And I'm Sophie Jensen!" said the blonde as she approached the group. "We've heard so much about you! We love your music!"

Shawn grinned. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you too."

"So, you showed up in the appropriate attire, that's good," Aria said. "You ready to dance?"

Shawn's eyes widened. "That's what we're doing?"

"Your people didn't tell you?" Aria shot a mock disappointed look to his team, who had all collectively went to sit in the chairs against the wall. "But yeah, I'll be teaching you a few simple moves. Nothing dangerous or strenuous."

Sophie went back to the camera, looking into the viewfinder and pressing a button. "It's recording. Whenever you guys are ready."

For once, Shawn was glad Brian wasn't here to witness this. Lucky bastard got to go back to the hotel early. Still, he was going to see this in the foreseeable future, and that was enough to make Shawn nervous.

"Gotta warn you," he said to Aria, "I'm a huge klutz."

"It's okay, we'll have fun!" she reassured, and she reached over to rub his arm.

Her tiny hand left so many tingles on his skin. Shawn resisted the urge to scratch it away as Aria greeted the camera.

She didn't obnoxiously project her voice like other YouTubers. She wasn't like the rich socialites who were running the platform these days. She was a dancer, and she was bubbly and full of energy.

"Have you ever danced before?" she asked Shawn.

"I literally fall over twenty times a day," he replied. "Dancing feels out of my element, but I'm down to learning."

Aria giggled. "And you've got me as your teacher, so everything will be okay."

The first thing she taught him was the formation for a simple ballet turn. Shawn learned very quickly that standing on one leg with your toes pointed was challenging, to say the least.

"Okay, stay like that," Aria said, stepping towards him. "Let me fix your posture."

Shawn wanted to laugh, but he would lose his balance. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, Aria circling his body.

"Okay, relax your shoulders," she said, patting the area, "but squeeze your back muscles, it'll keep you straight. And squeeze your butt muscles too, it'll keep your legs straight."

She didn't touch that area, but her tiny hands were low on his hips. "Hm, so broad. You definitely have a dancer's body."

"Thanks?" he strained out.

"Elongate your neck as well, chin up."

His muscles were starting to hurt, clearly not used to having them flexed this way. He quickly gave out and lost the position.

"You do all that just when you turn?" he asked Aria.

"Claro que sí! And that's just the surface. There's spotting so you don't lose balance. And then there's the art of making it looks graceful and effortless."

With that, she did the turn. No, she did a pirouette, maybe five turns in a row. Shawn had a new appreciation for dancers now.

Aria taught him more moves, like the five positions of ballet. They were simple enough, but Shawn felt like his ankle might pop off during fifth position. He felt quite goofy with his arms up in the air, but Aria looked, as she said, graceful.

"And back to fourth, and plie," she said, bending her knees.

It looked easy, Shawn never skipped leg day. But with the position his feet were in, he was far from elegant. He couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous he looked in the mirror.

"I take it you've danced your whole life?" he asked her.

"I have. And back to first."

"What's, like, the craziest move you can do?" he asked, now curious. He also wanted to see how flexible this girl was.

Aria tapped her finger to her chin as she thought about it. "Huh… good question. A fouette, I think. Either that, or an aerial."

"I have no idea what either of those things are, you have to show me."

An aerial, he quickly learned, is a no handed cartwheel. Aria took three large steps and practically did a front flip. Again, she was graceful as hell and made Shawn feel inadequate even though this wasn't a profession he planned to pursue.

A fouette was an incredibly complex turn that left Aria panting after she did ten in a row. She was a fucking champ.

When the video was done, the team was quick to rush Shawn, surround him, and get him to the next location. For once, he wasn't having it. He was quite taken with Aria after the short 30 minutes he spent with her.

"Wait!" he snapped, yanking his arm out of Jake's grasp. "Can't I thank our lovely host?"

Aria, who had quickly occupied herself by talking to Sophie, looked up in his direction.

"We have to go!" Andrew strictly told him.

"Just give me a minute!" Shawn said back.

With several stern looks, the team backed off. Shawn then approached Aria with more confidence than he should have had after being brutally humbled by the art of dance.

He put on his best smile. "Hey, just wanted to thank you for the experience."

"No problem." She smiled. "Showing people the way of dance is kinda my thing."

"Well, you're really good at it."

"Aw, thanks!"

Shawn looked at her, then at Sophie. Then, he gently took Aria's shoulder and led her away from the other girl. He cleared his throat before speaking again.

"Look, uh, tell me if this is too forward, but… I was wondering if you wanted to come by my hotel later tonight."

Her brown eyes widened, and then she looked down. "Dio mío. ¿En serio?"

Shawn blinked. "You just spoke Spanish."

"Sorry, I'm just a little thrown off. You're being serious?" She was blushing.

"Yeah. Kinda wanna see what else you can do with those legs." He smirked.

"Me va a dar algo," Aria mumbled. Then, she caught herself. "This is crazy."

He tilted his head. "How so?"

She chewed her lip as she looked at him. There was a look in her eyes that held the answer to his request. "You ever had like… a free pass? Like, you and your significant other talk about your crushes and which celebrity you'd go for. You're my free pass."

Shawn raised his eyebrows, flattered. "So that's a yes?"

Confliction spread on her features. "How long are you in town for?"

"I leave tomorrow." His heart started to race.

"I'll message you on Twitter later, okay? I, uh, need to see if I have something already planned."

"We have nothing planned!" called Sophie, obviously eavesdropping.

Aria's cheeks went even more pink as she looked at Shawn. "Okay, I guess I'm free!"

"Awesome. I'll send you the address." Shawn winked, even though he wasn't very good at it.

Still, Aria was beaming as she went back to her friend.

~

The only person who was supportive of this impulsive decision was Brian. It was a good thing Shawn brought him along on this weirdly wonderful journey. Shawn told him everything over dinner with the team, leaving out some details of the dancing part.

Brian high fived his friend. "It's about time you come back to your old self! Shawn the bachelor, revived!"

Shawn couldn't quite remember his old self. He hardly had any time to think about it. Brian sometimes reminded him of that old self, it was good to have him here.

"She was really hesitant," he said, "she might not even show up."

"But you took the initiative, and that's a good sign! Besides, if she ghosts you, it won't be hard to find someone else."

That was mildly comforting. More fish in the sea, and Shawn's sea recently expanded.

"Gotta get under someone to get over someone," Brian added.

Shawn couldn't argue with that. This Aria Mercer girl was a good place to start, given that she was completely different from the last girl he was with. This girl was smaller, and more bubbly. Flexible. Amazing curly hair. Shawn could definitely get down with someone who wears more than just one color.

If only he could find beauty in color again.

It wasn't until he was back in his hotel did Shawn start getting nervous. He sent Aria the address and his room number through a Twitter DM, forgetting to add a cheeky "can't wait to see you." After that, he jumped in the shower. Sure, it was just a measly hookup, but he wanted to be clean at least. He even made the effort to order a bottle of patrón to the room.

The bottle was delivered by the time Aria notified him of her arrival. Shawn thanked the room service person with a crisp twenty and quickly ushered them out. Shawn placed the patrón and two glasses on the table, and then checked his reflection in the mirror.

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, but still jumped when there was a soft knock on the door. Maybe he should have waited an extra thirty seconds, because Aria still had her fist up when Shawn wandered.

She quickly put her arm down and grinned. "Hey."

"Hi. Come in," Shawn said.

His heart was pounding wildly when the two of them were officially shut inside the hotel room. Aria walked in front of him, making him get a look at her bare legs in tiny pink shorts. She placed her tiny backpack on one of chairs at the table.

Shawn noticed the golden lightning bolt and two clear circles on the pack, piquing his interest.

"You like Harry Potter?"

"Hm? Yeah!" Aria said. "I'm obsessed."

"What house are you?"

"Hufflepuff! You?"

Of course the first girl he hooks up with in months is the same Hogwarts house as-

"Gryffindor," he replied.

"Cool."

Silence fell between the two of them as they stood in front of the bed. Aria looked around the room, biting her nails. Shawn couldn't figure out how to step into the next part of this night. He wasn't typically nervous or awkward, but that was only because before this, he was getting intimate with the same person consistently. There was no reason to be nervous then.

"So, uh…" he trailed off.

"Do we just…?" Aria asked, taking a few steps closer.

Neither of them remembered hookups being this awkward.

"Do you want a drink?" Shawn asked, but Aria spoke over him.

"Come closer."

So he did, feeling his heart in his throat. Nervous energy radiated all over, it was almost suffocating. It wasn't the fun type of nervous.

"Closer," Aria said softly.

There was an inch of space left between them. Shawn was looking at her, but she wouldn't return the gaze. He gently placed his hands on her upper arms, slowly moving his head closer, bending more than usual given the height difference. This was like a bandaid that needed to be ripped off. Once that was done, then everything else could come naturally.

"I can't do this," Aria said when their noses were touching, her voice slicing through the silence like a knife.

He moved back, removing himself from her completely. His body suddenly felt much less tense, almost relieved. Before he could even think of anything to say, Aria kept talking.

"I thought I could do it because you're my free pass, and you're insanely gorgeous. But I need to be honest - I have a boyfriend."

Shawn felt his stomach drop. "You-"

"But he gave me his blessing!" Aria frantically interrupted. "I texted him, and he sent me a voice clip of his approval! You can listen if you don't believe me!"

She hurried to her Hogwarts bag, opening up the zipper and digging inside. Meanwhile, Shawn sat down on the bed, his mind spiraling.

He wouldn't have been able to do this either. Come to think of it, he wasn't even that attracted to Aria. He hardly knew her, apart from the fact that she posts dancing videos on YouTube. Hell, he didn't even think about what he wanted to do with her, he just went through the motions.

Aria turned back to Shawn, phone in hand. She stopped in her tracks, noticing his hunched shoulders. "Are you okay?"

Shawn didn't really speak of the ache in his heart to anyone. Again, there was just no time. Sometimes he was tempted to call Camila on the rare days off, but she was just as busy these days. He thought about texting Alessia, but she didn't speak to him anymore. Shawn didn't talk about it, but keeping it in wasn't doing it anymore.

"You were honest with me, so I owe you just the same," he began. "I only wanted to do this because I'm going through a breakup."

He expected her to scoff, or make some comment about how pathetic he is, but Aria simply sat down next to him. Her brown eyes were soft and sympathetic.

"Getting over someone by getting under someone." She echoed Brian's words. "I've been there."

"Hey, I'm sorry for putting you in this position-"

"It's okay," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I did the same thing when I was twenty years old. Actually, the guy I'm dating now was one of my rebounds."

Shawn cleared his throat. "Is that how you ended up together?"

"Nah, that's a whole other story. But while we're being honest, I have to tell you. Sleeping around isn't gonna heal your broken heart. A wise man once said that numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."

Ain't that the fucking truth. Shawn felt the ache deep in his bones. It hurt so much it knocked the wind out of him.

"Did you love that person?" Aria asked after a moment.

Shawn couldn't stop himself. "I was so in love with her. She was the first person I ever loved, and it was everything I could have asked for."

"And it feels like you'll never find that again," Aria continued, rubbing his back.

Shawn nodded and took a breath. "Look, I'm sorry I'm dumping this on you. This is probably the opposite of what you expected to happen."

To his surprise, she grinned. "You're lucky I'm nice and have a need to protect heartbroken individuals. If you had hit up my friend Sophie, she would have kicked you while you were down. Besides, sometimes it's just easier to vent to a stranger."

Well, she wasn't wrong about that. Shawn felt more ramblings bubbling up the longer he sat with her. So maybe he would end up spending the night with Aria Mercer.

"Tell me about you, though," he told her. "I don't want this whole thing to be depressing."

The two of them sat up against the headboard, chatting for a while. Shawn learned a little bit more about Aria. She's been dancing since she was a toddler, but she took a hiatus from it after graduating high school. Her favorite color is red, she's a Virgo, and she graduated from that fancy university for vloggers two years prior. That's where she met her first love.

"I got really lucky that the first guy I dated was my first real love," she explained.

"The guy you're with now?" Shawn asked.

"No. That's Joe. My first love was named Dan," she said. "I gotta say, it's been almost five years since we broke up - and I'm very happy with Joe - but a small part of me is still soft for my ex."

Shawn nodded his head as he listened. "Why did you guys break up?"

Aria opened her mouth to answer, but she gave him a look. "You first."

"Fine, but we're opening that patrón."

She giggled. "Okay. I'll pour the glasses, you start talking."

For a moment, Shawn thought about it, thought about Ann. He hasn't seen her since the breakup. He has been back to Toronto in the four months they've been apart, but he never went looking for her. Why would he?

"She… she's insanely private," he began as Aria returned to the bed with two glasses. "She didn't want me talking about her in interviews, or even to my friends. I mean, people in our circle knew about us, but she always thought I was going to tell everyone her secrets or something."

"So paranoia was the cause?"

"I wouldn't say paranoia. I know she wanted her privacy, and I tried very hard to respect it. But people still managed to find her social media and some went to the extent of following us around in public."

Aria made a face. "Oof. I know what that's like."

"Yeah. I kept waiting for her to ask me to stay before they flew me out here. Kept waiting for her to tell me to drop everything and stay with her. But she never did. She pushed me to pursue this, and she chose to stay behind."

"That shows that she really loved you. She wouldn't let you give up all of this for her. We all make sacrifices for our careers."

Those words sunk in as they both took a drink. Shawn screwed his eyes shut momentarily as the bitter taste consumed him.

"Isn't all of this supposed to be worth it?" he wondered. "I know she's not the only girl out there, and she was incredibly different from me. But I haven't gotten the studio time I was promised. I haven't written a song in weeks. All I've been doing are photoshoots and interviews!"

Aria shifted in her seat, kicking off her shoes. "Hey, it will be worth it! Look, me and my ex broke up for kinda the same thing. He's also a YouTuber, and he was gonna go on tour. He asked me to go with him, to drop out of uni, but we were already falling apart. I just knew there wouldn't be room for me in his world. So we broke up, and I stayed in school. In that time, I formed a dance group, I got to interview one of my favorite bands, and I protested the shutdown of our campus."

Shawn took another sip of his glass. "Have you talked to your ex since?"

"Nope! Actually, he came out as gay last year, and I sent him a congratulatory tweet. He didn't reply." She chuckled sheepishly before draining her glass.

The two of them looked at each other for a moment. Then, Aria made a face, screwing up her eyes.

“We’re not pretending that this is good, right?” She held up her glass.

“Hey, it cushions the blow,” Shawn replied.

She scoffed and began typing on her phone. “You like slushies? Tacos? I’m postmating Taco Bell.”

Soon enough, they were munching on a 12-pack of mediocre tacos and putting patrón in their large Mountain Dew slushies. The mood lightened a lot quicker, and soon they were talking about other things. Soon, Shawn was laughing and half the patrón was gone. Boundaries and walls were coming down.

“What band did you interview?” Shawn asked.

“Five sauce,” Aria said. “It wasn’t even an interview. I made a dance to one of their songs and taught it to them. It was a jokey-joke video, but I got to talk to them and thank them for making amazing music.”

She pulled up the video on her phone and showed it to him. It was pretty hilarious to see the members of 5 Seconds of Summer try to dance as well as Aria did. It was like the video she did with Shawn today.

“I wanna meet them,” he said wistfully. “And I wanna meet Niall Horan.”

Aria gasped. “I love One Direction! Is Niall your favorite?”

“Honey, you have no idea.”

They talked about celebrity crushes. Aria’s were Demi Lovato, Liam Payne, and, still, Shawn.

“And I still didn’t make the cut,” he joked.

Aria smacked him shoulder. “We got this far. But evidently, I love my mans too much.”

“More than your ex?”

“Oh yeah.” Aria grinned to herself.

“You said his name is Joe, right? Is he a YouTuber too?”

That was when they fell down a YouTube rabbit hole. Aria showed Shawn her boyfriend’s videos, the ones she was in prior to their relationship. Apparently, they were friends for five years before becoming an item last fall.

“I don’t wanna talk too much about my love life, though,” she said. “Y’know, knowing that yours is…”

Shawn waved it off. “Hey, I’m feeling a buzz. I love love, even if I don’t have it. Tell me, girl.”

Aria thought for a moment. “Okay, here’s a fun fact. Me and Joe saw Bella’s video that had you in it.”

He gasped softly. “Really?”

“Uh-huh! So Joe looked you up on Spotify and, and it was raining too! We had a cozy day with blankets and kissing and stuff and we listened to your music. And…” She paused, smiling softly. “When You’re Ready was playing the first time I told him that I love him.”

“Dude… that’s fucking beautiful.” Shawn placed a hand on his chest and sniffed. “I wrote that song about my ex.”

Aria scoffed. “Well, now it’s about me and Joe! It’s a Jaria song!”

Shawn was going to remember that. It’s a Jaria song.

“Why don’t you just go to him now?” he asked her.

“He lives in London,” she replied. “I want to live with him, but neither of us can agree on a place to live. He likes it hot, I like it cold. I don’t wanna be too far from family. We’ve still got our careers to think about.”

“But you were going to hook up with me?”

“Because he told me I can! Look!” She picked up her phone again and played a voice clip.

A male, British voice filled the room. “Well, how often do you get to say you fucked Shawn Mendes? Go on, love, have your fun. But if Dianne ever comes round again, I’m shooting my shot!”

“Who’s Dianne?” Shawn asked.

Aria waved it off. “No one. But do you see? I was telling you the truth. Joe and I fucked a lot in the past and fucked other people too! It’s kind of an open relationship, or… it was. I need to talk to him about that now.”

“Wow…” A memory came to mind. “My ex wanted to fuck one of the girls from Little Mix.”

Aria sat up on her knees. “I love Little Mix! I’ve choreographed so many dances to their songs!”

“Show me!”

If Aria was sober she might not have done it. She stood up in front of the bed and performed little snippets to four different Little Mix songs. She was so passionate and happy. If only she was single, and if only Shawn wasn’t hung up on some flowers…

~

They didn’t sleep together, but they shared a bed. They both woke up early the next morning to loud knocking on the door. Having been through this for a few months, Shawn didn’t have to guess what it was. He was probably running late to something, or the team was just in a hurry to get the day started.

“I’m sorry,” Shawn sleepily mumbled. “You’re gonna face my manager.”

“Fun,” she mumbled back.

She rolled out of bed quicker than he had anticipated. She grabbed her shoes and stumbled to her Harry Potter bag on the table. Then, she gave Shawn a salute.

“See ya round, rockstar.”

“Hey,” Shawn called as he sat up. “Thanks for sticking around. I know you didn’t have to, and I really appreciate it.”

She smiled. “Let me know when you’re in LA or London or something. Maybe you’ll get to meet Joe.”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know.”

“And listen, don’t let your people push you around all the time. They work for you. Demand more studio time if-”

More sharp knocks. Aria sighed.

“You have more power than you think,” she continued. “Demand more studio time. Demand counseling if you really need it. Don’t let them take advantage of you.”

Shawn nodded, feeling a pit in his stomach. “Thank you, Aria.” He stood up and went for a hug, his chin barely touching the top of her head. Who knew a girl that small could be so powerful?

Anyway, Aria made a quick but polite greeting to Andrew as she exited the hotel room. As soon as she was gone, the team filled her absence. Tiffany walked in pulling a clothing rack with today’s outfit choices. Anna came in with her bag of makeup and hair products, gesturing for Shawn to come sit in the chair by the table. Jake walked in looking strong and mighty as hell. Brian was the last one to enter, two coffees in hand.

He had an eager grin on his face as he approached his friend. “How was she?” he asked, handing him a coffee.

Before Shawn could answer, Andrew piped up.

“Speaking of women,” he said, “since you want to get over someone, we got someone else for you to theoretically get under. I talked to Justin on the phone last night, and he thinks it’s time everyone saw the romantic side of Shawn Mendes.”

“I don’t want a girlfriend,” Shawn said. “Actually, I have some stuff I wanna talk to you about.”

Andrew said nothing as he typed on his phone. When he finished that tasked, he disregarded everything his client had said. “You’ll like this girl. She’s a friend of yours, after all.”

next chapter

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @justordinaryjen @chillingbythesea @iloveshawnieboi @shawnsunflower @someoneunimportantxx 

[onewfantaesy]

Omg you've been on such an amazing kick as of late. Secret bfs is effing amazing and don't even get me started on uncle yunho. I'm all about both these stories. Can I ask for yunho's pov when the whole kidnapping situation happened? Like from when he left the house to when they finally find poor taebabe? Thanks!!

haha thank you!! i do really like to overuse an idea until i’m absolutely sick of it lmao but i’m glad you’ve liked the latest updates!!

Yunho listened to Taemin breathe over the phone, having already told him to hide in his bedroom closet. He was whispering over the phone, telling Taemin to stay calm and that he was almost home and that it would be alright. He heard a door slam against a wall in the background, and he just continued to whisper to Taemin to stay hidden, to not make any noise. Then he heard another door open, and Taemin started crying for him.

“Uncle Yunho? Uncle Yunho!” Taemin screamed over the phone. “Don’t let them take me, don’t let them, UNCLE YUNHO!”

Yunho felt himself stop breathing as he heard Taemin scream for him, and he thought his heart was going to stop when he couldn’t do anything to help him.

“Taemin?” Yunho breathed out. “Taemin? Taemin! This isn’t funny, Taemin, answer me. Taemin!”

He cried for Jaejoong to drive faster, but by the time they got back to the house, the front door was still swung open and there was no trace of anyone inside the house.

“Taemin?” Yunho yelled as he ran inside. “Taemin! Taemin, where are you?”

Taemin’s laptop still sat on the coffee table blaring his Grease playlist, his video game character kept dying and respawning on the TV, and his friends were yelling over the headset that was left abandoned on the couch next to the game remote. Yunho ran throughout the entire house, opening doors and closets and pushing back shower curtains when the cops showed up. He screamed for Taemin to stop hiding, but Taemin’s door had been kicked in, and his closet door was open with clothes spilling out of it, and his cellphone was lying cracked on the floor of his bedroom.

“Taemin?” Yunho cried, sifting through the clothes and looking under the bed. “Taemin, where are you?”

“Yunho,” Jaejoong said softly as he tried to pull him off the floor. “Yunho, he’s not here. You have to come talk to the police.”

“Where is he?” Yunho asked, his voice cracking. “Jaejoong, where is he?”

“I don’t know,” Jaejoong whispered. “That’s why we have to tell the police what happened, and you need to tell them everything he told you when he called you.”

After telling the cops who showed up everything that happened, he had to listen to how his neighbors saw Taemin being shoved, kicking and screaming, into his sister and brother-in-law’s car and didn’t do anything to try and help him. He found himself breaking down on his front lawn while Jaejoong held him close and tried to tell him that everything would be okay, that he had to hold himself together so he could help find Taemin.

“I just had to listen to my nephew, my Godson, scream and cry and beg for me to help him while he was being kidnapped from my own house,” Yunho cried. “How am I supposed to be okay after that?”

Yunho stayed on his front lawn, crying as Jaejoong held onto him, and he repeated over and over how he shouldn’t have left Taemin home alone, how he should have stayed home with him, how he should have gotten there faster when Taemin called him, how they shouldn’t have stopped for the happy meal and if they hadn’t, they would have been able to stop what had happened.

He didn’t think he’d be able to sleep until Taemin was home with him again.

He tried calling his sister so many times he lost count. She sent it to voicemail every time. He left her a voicemail every time, begging her to bring Taemin back, to let him talk to him, to just let him know that they hadn’t killed him.

When he got the video of Taemin talking back to his parents, he laughed at first. Taemin had a little attitude sometimes, and he had been glad that he was still as snappy as he usually was, because at least he was acting normally. He was alive, and he didn’t look anymore hurt than he had been when Yunho last saw him, and Yunho was so thankful for that.

But then his brother-in-law stopped the car and got out, and Taemin started freaking out, and Yunho felt like he was going to be sick. His brother-in-law said something about putting Taemin back in the trunk, and he had to watch Taemin scream and freak out and beg his parents not to put him back in there.

He broke down again, and he kept replaying the video until Jaejoong took the phone for him and said he had called the police.

“They shoved him in the trunk,” Yunho cried, hiding his face in his hands. “They kept him in the trunk, Jaejoong, he knocked him out and just stuffed him in there.”

All Jaejoong could do was hold him tight.

“I promised him I would always save him,” Yunho whispered. “I promised him that when he was little, and look what’s happened.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I’m a teacher,” Yunho cried. “I’m trained to figure out when kids are being abused, and I couldn’t even help my own nephew!”

“Some people are good at hiding it,” Jaejoong whispered. “Taemin didn’t want anyone to know, so he hid it. He didn’t want you to know. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

“He would say terrible things about them,” Yunho said. “That they didn’t love each other, that his dad would yell and get mad, so many things, and I never did anything.”

“You can’t get upset over things you can’t fix,” Jaejoong told him. “There’s nothing you can do about it now but be there for him when he comes home.”

That only made Yunho cry harder.

What if Taemin didn’t make it back home?

The second Yunho was told where Taemin was and what hospital he was being taken to three states away, he got in the car and drove straight there. The only times he and Jaejoong stopped were for gas; he didn’t even stop to go to the bathroom, instead waiting until they got gas next.

When they got to the hospital Taemin was at, he was asleep in his room with a cop standing outside his door. His foot was in a cast instead of a boot like it had been, and there was also a cast on his left arm as well as a sling. The skin on his lips was torn up, there were bruises peeking out from beneath the neckline of the hospital gown he was wearing, his jaw was bruised and swollen, and he had an IV in his right arm.

To put it simply, he was a wreck, so Yunho pulled a chair up to the right side of his bed and held onto his hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it while his other hand brushed his hair out of his face. When Taemin’s face scrunched up and his eyes started to blink open, he turned his head towards Yunho, but his face remained blank.

“Hey, pup,” Yunho whispered, trying to not to cry. “I missed you.”

Yunho had to watch as Taemin sucked his lips into his mouth and bit them while his eyes started tearing up. 

“It’s okay,” Yunho told him, leaning forward and gently cupping Taemin’s cheek. “I’m right here, it’s okay.”

Yunho held onto Taemin as tightly yet as gently as he could when he started crying. He helped Taemin sit up, and he held the boy’s head under his chin and whispered to him as he rubbed his back and hugged him.

“They were gonna kill me,” Taemin whispered, letting out a strangled sob. “They tried to kill me.”

“But they didn’t,” Yunho whispered back to him, holding him tight. “They didn’t, you’re right here, and you’re not dead.”

Taemin just continued to cry into Yunho’s chest for a long while, Yunho just held him and told him he would be okay.

[sakuurae]

8 questions tag

tagged by the lovely @jaetennys ^~^ thank you, darling 💖

1) What are your favourite mvs?

Oooo, my favorite music videos. Hmmm... I really like ‘don’t fight’ by ants, ‘사랑해줘요’ by mind u, and ‘take you home’ by baekhyun. Im not really a fan of busy (if that is the right word to use) mvs, ahaha. I like them simple with nice lighting, and telling a short story.

2) do you have like a to-do-list before you die?? (like a bucket list) if so, can you list them down? (im really curious)

Ohhh, yes i do!! Haha, i actually have one written down in one of my notebooks, and its quite long so ill just name a few things. Some things id like to do would be going to tokyo with my friends, go on an endless shopping spree with my friends, have our fashion blog be eminent, and to finish writing an entire novel one day (this would be a dream, ehehe).

A lot of the things in my bucket list include activities my friends, haha, because, for me, the best things in my life are never done alone *~*

3) which one do you prefer; romantic love or platonic love? why?

Hmmm...  honestly, romantic love. In my opinion, of course, its more fun in my opinion and i enjoy the whirlwind of emotions that come from it. From being physically close and cuddling, hand-holding, the narrow focus to them solely in a specific admirable perception—just being intimate and having the deep feeling that is created form romantic love—piques my interest more.

 Though, there isnt anything wrong with platonic love either! I enjoy that as well, but i prefer romantic love.

4) who is the person you look up the most? why?

Prepare for absolute cheese, lmao. I look up to taeyong a lot—no surprise here. But its because of what he went through and how he dealt with it. He went through a lot of fire when he finally debuted, and witnessing the crumble of the pillars that held him up confidently made my heart break. I really admire how he handled the drama. It exhibits a growth he has gone through amid that arduous time period. And, honestly, i related to some fractions of it—of him as a person.

But it is not only that factor alone that makes me look up to him; it is also his drive to become a better dancer, rapper—person. I also enjoy how he takes care of all of his members ;~; he makes it so prominent that he cares for his friends and its very respectful. Hes just always thankful for his members and for everything, its aksdjgfh aghhhh.

What always sticks with me about him is the episode (i dont remember which) in ‘nct life: pep rally’ to which he talks about the controversy that surrounded him. What he says really sparked something in me—dunno, i think im just rambling at this point so ill cut this off here lmaoo.

5) favourite songs of all time?

Aaaah, this really is a difficult one. My favorite songs probably are ‘icarus’ by jj project, ‘what i want to say’ by acourve, ‘i smile’ by day6, and ‘the lovely song when we parted’ by mind u.

I wonder if i make it obvious enough, but i really love listening to k-indie/k-acoustic :) my true list of all-time favorites are on my spotify playlist thats filled with them, ahaha.

6) who is/are your bias? why?

Oh boy... My biases are taeyong and sicheng—as if this information is not written on the walls already, haha.

I literally dedicated a huge passage to a fraction of my love for taeyong earlier, and that heavily contributes to why. But pushing that to the side, i admire him for his talent in dancing, rapping, and everything. He is so resilient and that is a favorable quality in my eyes, aaah. His personality is really laudable as well :)

Sicheng... because he is equally meritorious. He traveled over to korea and had to learn an entirely new language, try his hardest to debut, and so much more. He is doing is best and, just like taeyong, he is putting his best effort out there and is growing :’) i also love how he treats his members too; he is just so lovable to everyone, its almost unbelievable.

7) list of things/people that makes you happy?

- Writing is an obvious answer for me to include, haha. Its a great way to start off my day and a good way to calm myself down from a taxing day. I also enjoy sharing the content i create with others, ahaha;

- Reading is also another element. Every morning i read for a good hour or two before i begin writing. I just sit there with my coffee and leaf through my book. It would be an even more perfect day if the weather is nice and warm;

- Going out with my friends. To be honest, i used to never leave the ensconcement of my bedroom; i would say inside and read, write, or just organize my books and closet. It isnt until around a month and a half ago (i think) where my friends have finally egged me to go out with them (i also believe i posted pictures on this blog of it ahaha) and i enjoyed it wholeheartedly. Now, i go out almost every single day with them, and sometimes on my own. I feel like the complete opposite!!! But it makes me really happy, huhu;

- The friends i made on this website makes me really happy. I mean i dont have much but i appreciate the couple that i do have with my entire heart. Knowing them for a short amount of time is unbelievable because it feels like ive known them for years, and everything has been compacted within the month or two we all started to talk. The closeness is really astonishing, but extremely refreshing! I can go on for a while about how appreciative i am and how happy they make me, especially on days where i feel a little down and talking to them normally uplifts my spirits, but i think this will suffice;

- Coffee. The root of my energy tbh. Keeps me going throughout the day and keeps me on my feet during dance, even though i might be too off-the-walls.

8) what are your fondest memories? (it can be anything! about your pet or your friends etc)

Oh boy, this can go on forever too so ill just write the first one that came to my mind.

It was thanksgiving night with my cousins and we snuck out. Skipping over the minor, stupid particulars, we were being chased by one of the neighbors and we started running away for a good five minutes, which resulted in us becoming lost (because we were at our uncle’s city [and we never visit that town]) at a park.

Afterwards, we sat around on the grass for a long while and started to talk for a long while. It was strange at first since we were never really close to one another, but that night was such a table turner. It was one in the morning and we were all sitting or laying on the grass, talking as we stared at the stars—surprisingly, because i havent seen a clear night sky in the city since i lived over at the country side—and we learned a lot about each other and why we differed, which made us argue a lot. Talking it over for hours, our relationship with each other substantially changed and it was like there was never thick air between us to begin with.

Im not sure if this is adequate enough to be an extremely fond memory; but in my book, it is :D i frequently recall this moment despite it occurring many years ago—because it is that life-changing for me. It sort of made me think that despite the negativity i face with others, the other party always has their own reason to why.

I hope this tag is okay! ^~^ i feel like i revealed a larger fraction of myself than what i usually do, ahahaha //profoundly sweats//.

Im tagging @urbanjohnny @writenct @heartachetosing @hey-uta @thenctcults!  I hope its okay to tag you guys, please dont feel obligated to do this if you feel zero desire to ^~^  

My questions for you:

1. Whats your favorite book, and why?

2. What is a good, life changing moment that always sticks with you?

3. Do you believe in astrology? Why?

4. What’s something you have been forced into (like an activity or class) in the belief you would hate it, but actually love it to this day?

5. Name three things you’re proud of in your life and why :D

6. What is the root of your happiness? How did you discover it?

7. Do you prefer clear, serene starry nights within a forest, or an ocean view during golden hours?

8. What’s one thing that not many people know about you?

Again, you dont have to do this if you have zero desire to!! Ehehe