#there's a very specific feeling that I can't seem to describe in any normal way which might mean I need to write poetry about it instead

[thethingything]

"why do I feel so weird and awful" says man who already made a post half an hour ago that included the reasons he feels weird and awful

[chronicler-of-narrative]

So, On-Lyne, huh?

Let's be honest here, they're actually an incredibly cool system. If there's one thing I like about DE is how they spice up stale systems. Like how Poe and Fortuna paved the way for Deimos and Duviri, the technocyte Coda seem to be doing the same for the lich system (especially considering how they dont seem to have any weapons).

While lightly disappointing because they have set identities unlike the very oc-friendly randomness of liches and sisters, its still basically the most hype part of the 1999 update for me.

However, praise aside, I also wanted to do some light speculatuon on their story and personalities, and specifically, why I think they weren't always infested.

Now, look, ik they look weird conceptually, being likened to fortnite skins by some, but I think that is mostly just foreshadowing. To me, they look like digital avatars, which considering their name is quite literally On-Lyne and all of the internet imagery in the 1999 promotional videos and ads seems to support this. Now, this is actually really important because if they are digital avatars of real people (as I suspect), then that sets up the main theme of their story: Appearances.

This is why I think they're not some infested psyop but rather started out normally, before being overtaken. Because at the end of the day, Warframe's stories are deep in the most batshit way possible. DE aren't afraid to use the mighty Allegory for their stories, and I think this is what they're doing here. The infestation is On-Lyne's Monkey Paw, being either a wish-come-true or a punishment, or both.

This, imo, is most evident with Zeke. After all, we literally hear him talking about how "if management gives him one more passive aggressive comment, he's gonna snap", which to me tells me that Zeke probably isn't able to endure the price of being famous. This, combined with a transcription of the infested writing on their fanpage I received from a friend, tells us what the Infestation has done for Zeke. "Zeke hungers to unmake himself" and calling him "Fleshskin" to me sound like Zeke seeking to become acceptable to the band at the cost of himself. As in, to literally martyr himself, to become the band's skin and remove the part of himseld that can't stand the pressure, becoming in the proccess an empty shell, a skin-suit, if you will.

For the others, we know a little less, so imma just summarize my theories on them :

-Hardrive's the one who spreads the infestation, the infection mechanism. But by the...unflattering language the hivemind uses to describe him unlike the others, what i get is hes trying to escape the infestation, escape the life of fame, but in doing so is only falling deeper into the very thing he's trying to get away from.

-Packet's the tactician of the group. Different from Drillbit in the fact that hes directly responsible for unity within the group. I mean, "Soothes the dissident voices" doesnt get more explicit than that. Its weird how hes the most "fresh". To me it sounds like he may have had a hand in unleashing the infestation on the group in some attempt to keep them from having a falling out, and is now in charge of keeping the whole hivemind together after being the last one to be consumed.

-Drillbit is the guide of the group. Especially with the brain and larynx lines, sounds to me like he was the second-in-command to Zeke who always wanted to be the face of the band but couldn't with Zeke in the way.

-Dj RoM is a little hard to figure out, but to me he sounds like the group hedonist. He doesn't question whats going on, hes just there to have a good time and might even be the most accepting of the infestation. Especially considering how it directly mentions how his 'palpatations reverberate' while the band is 'digesting' which may imply hes actually enjoying it.

So yea, these basically it. If im wrong, feel more than free to share your ideas. After all, this is just speculation, but to me it seems very fitting from a narrative perspective.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello hello! Long time follower!

I really like reading all your translations, theories and fanfics! It's really great to be able to read your thoughts about characters and cards because am a f2p so I have a very limited stash of gems to pull lol

So I was thinking about the rrcent jp update and I went back to read some of your work on Scarabia. I'll admit they weren't amongst my favorites before so I haven't paid too much attention to them. I was wondering then about the couple times you've said Jamil is well off? Maybe it's from one of his SSR cards of his home event, but I can't remember where he or maybe Kalim implies that?

That's it, just a silly question thanks so much for all that you do, I love so much all your theories and thoughts about the lore and the cast! Have a good day!

Hdsbskwhsk I’m glad that my blog brings you joy and makes your free to play experience more fun 🤩 Thanks for sticking with me all this time!

As for your question, I’m not actually sure if there's dialogue which explicitly states the Viper family's level of wealth. I couldn't find any when I combed through, so I had to go off of implications and my own interpretations of those. From what I’ve gathered, I see the Vipers as upper middle class, or at least middle class with a LOT of benefits (the benefits being present boost them to upper middle class due to the lifestyle the benefits afford them).

So firstly, I think there's a lot of debate surrounding Jamil's family income. Some fans seem to think that the Vipers must be destitute due to their position as servants and Jamil's disdain for how the Asims throw around their money and influence. However, perceived social status or class does NOT always equate to being low income. There are people irl who are technically "servants" and "hired help" that make a significant salary while working for much wealthier individuals. There is data for bodyguards, private chefs, executive assistants, and skilled nannies who earn six-figure incomes and/or excellent benefits working for celebrities, politicians, businessmen, etc. (Notably, guarding, cooking, scheduling/planning, and generally looking after Kalim are all a part of Jamil's duties.) Real world examples of this include employees of the White House and the British royal family.

Now, that all depends a lot on the type of people the employers are. There are many wealthy families who mistreat their staff and/or don't pay them well. From what I've seen of the Asims though, I definitely feel that this is not the case. To begin with, the Vipers don't just do one task for the Asims, they do a LOT. You're already aware of the constant work Jamil has to do around the clock to keep Kalim safe and satisfied, but his parents must do the same. They're described as experts in hospitality and are frequently hosting and entertaining guests from all over Twisted Wonderland. This is skilled labor, and that demands commiserate pay. Not only that, but Kalim describes his father as someone who is very generous (and the guy has plenty of money to spare). I don’t see why Mr. Asim would purposefully skimp on specifically paying the Vipers.

I would also imagine that the Vipers are afforded other benefits. Jamil has said many times that he has to look or act a certain way, as his behavior/appearance reflects on the family he serves. Therefore, the Asims may provide other things Jamil and the Vipers need to “look good” and to best represent and serve the Asims. This could mean food, clothes, transportation/travel expenses, education (like additional training, manners lessons, certification exams, etc.) all paid for on the Asim family’s coin. Jamil has mentioned that his parents gave him lessons in everything he’d need to know in order to serve Kalim, so this tells his parents are also well-educated and/or were at least able to pay for lessons for Jamil. And these lessons aren’t “normal” lessons either, it includes things like formal bodyguard training (you’d have to pay for this irl) and formal table manners (which most of us aren’t taught unless we seek it out).

We also recently learned in book 7 that the Vipers live on Asim property, which is very luxurious. Jamil states that his family would be on the streets should they lose their place serving the Asims—and this could be interpreted in a very literal sense if we think of as losing the roof over their heads. Yes, it's technically not land or housing that the Vipers own, but it is still free high-class lodging, nonetheless. It is a benefit that is afford to them (among others) because of their job(s), similar to those real life examples I mentioned before. One could make the argument that none of this wealth truly belongs to the Vipers. However, you could also argue that because these benefits come with the job, it technically is theirs as long as they keep their job (which is, in fact, how jobs irl work; if you stop working for an employer then naturally you’ll stop getting the benefits that come with that job eventually). It’s complicated. I suspect that, at the very least, part of the reason why the Vipers don’t want to depart from serving the Asims is because they don’t want to lose the pay and the perks that come with their work.

I want to add that the Vipers’ position also gives them the unique advantage of exposing them to tons of important individuals. They are able to meet and connect with these VIPs when most people could never even dream of meeting them, even if just from the viewpoint of a servant. It’s a similar to Lilia and Silver, who technically are not rich (money-wise) but still have ties with majorly influential people (members of the Draconia royal family).

Obviously, the Vipers still aren’t as rich as the Asims and probably will never be, but I believe they still enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. We never see Jamil worry about money or being short of it. He gives his VDC/SDC earnings away without batting an eye, unlike Deuce (from a single-parent income family) who keeps the money since it would really help out his mom. He doesn’t have to work a ton of odd jobs to make ends meet (unlike Ruggie). But Jamil does haggle and act frugal. I think that behavior comes from not a genuine need but Jamil being mindful and planning ahead to avoid being scammed. He’s shown to be a cautious individual who often is the one putting the breaks on Kalim’s extravagance, so I feel the skill also comes partly from having to be the one to curb his ridiculous spending and bring Kalim down to earth. Jamil is still the type of person who would tell Kalim when he’s buying too much or overdoing things, even when it’s not Jamil’s own money being spent and he knows Kalim can afford it. That’s what leads me to believe his frugalness isn’t necessarily the result of him being low income and “needing” to save. If that were the case, he shouldn’t care if Kalim throws his own money at buying diamond jewelry for all the dorm members as souvenirs.

I think the closest metric we have as a frame of reference for how wealthy Jamil is comes from the Tapis Rouge event. In it, Jamil forks out 500 thaumarks (or 50000 madol) to buy a jacket. He remarks that the price is fairly expensive but good quality so it’s worth it. Whether you consider this an indicator of his low or high wealth is really all relative to what your own perception is. Jamil had also previously remarked that what the Mostro Lounge charges is absurd. In Ruggie’s Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Azul quotes the price of one soft drink as 4 thaumarks/400 madol. Jamil responds with “Four? Talk about a markup.” It should be noted that the latter example doesn’t mean Jamil cannot afford a drink of that price; he’s complaining about how expensive Azul has made it to capitalize on the high demand. Do with this knowledge what you will.

Anyway, those are my thoughts! I hope I was able to explain myself well. If you have any thoughts, please feel free to express them ^^

[genshinemblem564]

Genshin Isekai Headcanons

These can be sagau, but they don't have to be.

• Xinyan is stoked that you love her music, and is excited when you offer to play her some music from your world, but she's confused by some of the lyrics. She understands metaphorical lyrics, like the person described in the song isn't actually a rocket, but some of them don't make sense or feel like they were added just to fill a void. Aside from that, she kinda wants to perform some of these songs, now if only she had some band members.

• Tartaglia doesn't have much to say about the guns of your world. The pyro and hydro fatui agents already use guns of some kind, and the cryo fatui agent uses, um. What would you call an ice based flamethrower? No, what he's interested in is the immense amount of new weapons that Teyvat doesn't have, or they probably do, and we just don't hear about them. Like chain blades, I don't know what else to call them, essentially a flail, but instead of a mace, it's blade. I would write something about axes, but I feel like saving that for my crossover series. A scythe is often seen as a special lance, but you tell him that it's much more complicated than that specifically pointing out the blade, and depending on your own skill, you give him a demonstration. He is way too excited to learn all of these new weapons, like a kid excited about a new toy, you can't help but smile.

• Baizhu is perplexed when he first prescribes medicine to you, as you give him a list of allergies, if any, and are more than willing to go through proper examination to learn how resistant your body is to certain toxins. He's even more surprised when you tell him that his unique practice is actually common in your world, so that's why you don't bat an eye at potentially poisonous ingredients.

• Bennett is rather surprised. When you hang out, his bad luck seems to go away. It's actually just you using a bit of foresight, like checking the date on a flyer before rushing to a sale that had already ended, but seeing that glimmer in his eyes, you decide to let his imagination roam.

• You and Cyno are reference lords. You two reference everything, Cyno, his favorite book or book series, and you, your favorite media source. Now, if only people actually understood them, and yes, you do quote Yu-Gi-Oh when playing Genius Invokation.

• If you're an artist, then you quickly catch Albedo's attention. When he sees your drawings, he is quick to ask what you used as a muse, and your answer will have great impact on his reaction. If you point to an object or animal, his response will be normal. If you draw from memory though, he is astounded, especially if what you drew was a scene of some kind, with people, animals, or what have you. Drawing all that from memory is incredible. If you say it's something you made up, he'll compare it to when he's commissioned for his own art.

• Depending on your own interests, you'll be interacting with several different characters. I can't think of anything in depth for these few, so here's a general basis. Barbara is relieved that you're so open to different views. She knows how cruel people can be when they're closed-minded, and she's happy to teach you about the Church of Favonius and Barbatos. Noelle was lamenting not being a knight yet, which led you to bring up the seven chivalric virtues. Yae Miko and Xingqiu are very interested in the stories of your world. Xingqiu hoping to learn more about your worlds code of chivalry, but he ends up learning about justice's different forms. Yae is simply searching for new inspiration. She often calls on you when her old nemesis, writers block, appears. Nahida takes interest in you right away, wanting to gain knowledge from your world, and you seem fun. She knows better than anyone how dangerous knowledge can be, so she asks you to omit potentially dangerous subjects.

• Mona was shocked when you said that you only wanted to know the bad stuff coming your way, not that she could help you, with you being an outworlder and all. When she asked why, you told her "It's best to be prepared for all the bad coming your way, and if you know all the good coming your way, it takes away from life's natural wonder." Which was promptly followed by you asking "Where did that come from?"

___________________________________________

I'm thinking making more of that last one, like " Characters reaction to reader who is randomly philosophical" might need to work on the title a bit. Also, as stated above, these can be sagau, but can also be normal isekai, so I'll use both tags so they can be found more easily

[lovers-in-love-around-the-world]

tr characters with a very attractive s/o? 💕

Hello, I didn't know who you wanted so I decided to use these characters. so I hope you like this and sorry for the late reply.

Please enjoy!

Warning- protective, jealousy, threats(not describe), gender neutral reader(I think. I might be wrong I might of put he/she somewhere and if I did please tell me), not proof read, might be a little ooc

Paring- baji x reader, Draken x reader, Mikey x reader, ran x reader, Rindou x reader, izana x reader, kakucho x reader, Sanzu x reader, wakasa x reader

Baji-

• Baji is so protective of you. like if he sees someone looking at you he will wrap his arm around you and glares at them.

• He does like to compliment everything about you and loves you show that you are the most beautiful person he thinks.

• Hates when people compliment you through. Like yeah you are super attractive but that doesn't mean that everyone can look and compliment you. That's only for him.

• dislikes you walking home. He doesn't care if he is doing something he will stop and come and get you and take you home. He just doesn't want any guy to try and take advantage of you because of how pretty you are.

• something he likes to do when someone is staring is to put his jacket on you. one it shows that your his and two it also covers you beautiful so only him can see it.

• he's not really specific on stuff you can't wear but if he doesn't like it or it's too revealing for him he will say something or just put his jacket over you. He is the only who gets to see all your beauty.

Draken-

• Draken is pretty chill. I mean in the end your back with him so he's not that worried. People can look but it's not like they are going to touch. That's just for him.

• now if he does see someone staring, specially if it's somewhere that's not the best place, he doesn't mind to actually do something. Either step in their line of view, cover you, or just take you somewhere else.

• he doesn't mind what you wear outside. He feels like he shouldn't have to tell you what you can and cannot wear. I mean either way whatever you wear he thinks you look hot in it and you rock the outfit.

• he does like to look at you and watch you do things, specially when you clean, maybe its the way you seem focus on what your cleaning that makes him like to watch.

• finds you really beautiful and will give you tiny compliments. But they are either really quiet or just undertone compliments.

Mikey-

• matters which Mikey we talking about.

• Toman Mikey would be clingy, specially when you guys are out. He would hold onto you and loves to just stare at you because he finds you so pretty.

• Now black haired Mikey would be the one to compliment you but either they are too quiet for you to hear or he says something and the compliment is like hidden in what he says. He also likes to buy you clothes he thinks that would make your beauty pop out more.

• Bonten Mikey..... Well you see he has lost a lot and he doesn't want to lose you. He will buy you anything like clothes or makeup or jewelry or anything that makes you beautiful. He does like your all natural beauty more through. He also hates when you go out. Since he doesn't go out much he isn't there to make sure no one looks at you or tries to take you beauty away from him. So normally he has someone go with you or he won't let you leave. (An extra thing. He loves to lay on your lap because he gets to look up and see your beautiful face)

Ran-

• he's pretty natural in this. I see him kinda being protective of you but then he just meh. Like he trust you and will let you do what you want.

• he is weird about you going out at night alone because of how pretty you are. I mean be won't stop you but he will make sure that, one he is with you, two he's on call with you, or three you guys have like life360 where he knows exactly where you are.

• he does like to find outfits with you. He just likes to find outfits that makes you guys look like a hot couple. He is all about that.

• he also likes to sleep with you. You laying on his chest while he plays with you hair. He is able to see your beauty even if your sleeping. He just thinks you look pretty doing whatever.

Rindou-

• okay he is way different then his brother. He isn't natural in this at all. He is like Baji. He trust you but then he doesn't trust everyone else. He rather have your beauty for just him.

• but something he will do if one of your outfits he finds too revealing he will tell you to change and that you aren't going out. Now if you able to sweet talk him to let you out in the outfit he will but it might take a bit. (Kisses and some reassuring will be enough)

• he does like when you sit on his lap while you guys are relaxing or just watching a movie. The reason why is because he is able to see your beauty all in front of him and in his arms.

Izana-

• he's like toman mikey. He's clingy. Not just outside but everywhere. He likes to have a hand on you or something close to that. Also loves to compliment you while he has you in his arms/hands/legs.

• he can get very jealous. He hates people looking at you. He thinks that he should only be the one to see your beauty and no one else can.

• will not let you out of the house unless you have something of his. Either something he wears or something he gave you.

• will not let you walk home. You will stay at his house if it's gets to late. You had no choice. He will cling onto you and lead you back to lay down with him.

Kakucho-

• sweet sweet boy Kakucho. he definitely blushing a lot. He just finds you so pretty and it's hard to not just stare at you.

• he doesn't get really jealous about people. He is scared to let you go out by yourself at night. Not wanting someone to take you because of how pretty you are so he will walk you home unless you want to stay the night, which he won't ask. But if you do he is happy.

• he also loves when you wear something of his because he thinks that it just makes you more pretty and he will look away so you won't see the blush on his face.

Sanzu-

• ....sanzu...-sighs- okay well Sanzu we all know is a little unhinged. He will get really weird if he sees people staring at you. Can either led up to them being threatened or you getting pulled away. Matters on his mood. Normally the first one.

• he does love to see you try on new outfits and will compliment you a lot too. He will sometimes just come up to you and hugs you from behind and start saying compliments. Sometimes he will say a compliment twice.

• he kinda sees you as a beautiful god/goddess. He thinks that you need protective because he knows that people might try to take you away because of your beauty. He won't let that happen. He will be your knight.

Wakasa-

• pretty chill. Honestly doesn't care. He lets you do what you want and things. But if he needs to step in or do something he will.

• He will say at least one compliment to you a day. It will be random times that he will do that. He just finds it fun to catch you off guard.

• he also likes to mess up your hair. He just finds you more pretty with your hair messed up so he might randomly come up behind you and mess it up and then walk away, normally when he says a compliment too.

[descendant-of-truth]

What I like about this scene is how it tricks you into thinking it's just here for a quick laugh when it's actually the beginning of a surprisingly deep look into part of Rockman's character - specifically, how he handles lying.

See, Rockman's never really... lied in this show before, I don't think. He doesn't usually have a reason to, but even then I would describe him as being honest to a fault.

But when put under the pressure to seem cool to Trill, a young child who idolizes him, he cracks and tells probably the most bold-faced lie of his life: that he was totally not scared by a monster movie. He's never been scared of anything! Hasn't even screamed once!

And it's. such a goofy lie to tell?? It works on Trill because he's like five years old, but to the viewer who knows him better than that, it just comes off as a funny, harmless thing to say.

Rockman does not see it as either of those things.

To him, it's not cute that Trill takes him at his word by virtue of being a young child who doesn't know any better. If anything, that's part of the problem; maybe if Trill didn't believe him and just teased him about it instead, he wouldn't have to worry about lying so much. But as it stands, Trill is believing a lie, and it eats at Rockman throughout the episode.

And at this point you kinda start to guess how the rest of it is going to go down. Rockman will eventually come clean to Trill, who's gonna say that Rockman is still cool even if he screams at scary movies, and they'll all have a big laugh and move on.

This is not what happens.

Instead, Rockman digs his heels into the lie further, stopping himself from screaming every time Trill tries to scare him (which is a realistic toddler thing to do if I've ever seen one), until he eventually loses his trademark patience and yells at him to cut it out.

And in a move that defies the usual expectation of setup and payoff, Rockman never actually. tells Trill that he lied. and there's a part of me that's bothered by that, but what we get in exchange is so interesting to me that I can't help but feel it makes up for it.

Something to note is that, throughout this episode, it's stated that Trill likely sees Rockman as an older brother, and so he's affectionately referred to as "big brother" by Roll a few times in a teasing sort of way.

It's all fun and sweet and par for the course; I think everyone knew that Trill was going to act as a younger brother to Rockman as soon as he was introduced, so having characters bring attention to it isn't unusual. And Rockman doesn't really comment on it either way... until Netto calls him that at the end of the episode.

This. this is the scene that really makes me go insane. just absolutely bonkers

Because like, okay. listen. this is only episode four of the season. it's not at all surprising that Rockman doesn't consider himself to be Trill's brother, because he's known him for all of three days and he's only been talking for one of them.

But that phrasing.

If he had just left it at "I'm not his big brother," we'd all have a nice chuckle and go "sure buddy, I'd like to see you say that by the end of this season." But he has a qualifier for WHY he's not Trill's brother, and it's because he lied to him. about not being scared of a movie.

And notice how matter-of-factly he says this, too. Remember how troubled he was earlier by the fact he had lied at all? Well it seems that, after perpetuating that lie for the rest of the episode, he's gotten past those doubts and reached acceptance in the idea that... he's lost his brother privileges.

Suddenly we've learned something very interesting about how Rockman handles lying, and it's that, while he's surprisingly capable of keeping a lie up, he finds that even one as innocent as this makes him disqualified from being Trill's family.

Which is Totally Normal and Not at All Concerning Behavior

But you know what. we can make it worse.

Imagine with me, for a moment, that all of the Saito Lore from the games remains true in the anime. If that was the case, then Netto still hasn't been told about it this many seasons in, making it a secret that Rockman keeps every day - a lie of omission.

What if the reason Netto hasn't been told about it for this long, the reason it seems so easy for Rockman to never bring it up, is because he's long since decided that he's not Netto's brother anymore.

"After all, I did lie to him."

And it just keeps going because if we decide to take that angle with it, then it suddenly becomes a lot more pointed that Yuuichiro is the one to assure Rockman that lying to your little brother is Sometimes Okay, Actually

Like of course he would say this, the guy who encouraged Rockman to lie to Netto in the first place in order to keep up the image of being a Reliable NetNavi

Don't get me wrong, it's a really interesting character trait for Rockman to have even without adding game context to it, but using Trill as a parallel to Netto in this scenario adds a special something to the whole thing that I'm never going to be able to stop thinking about

[cdragons]

Hey! I miss interacting with u, hope you are doing well :)

What is the song that will most describe farleighs and y/ns friendship?

Hey! This is really sweet, anon! THank you! I'm doing great, I have a ton of exams and projects with school that are kind of kicking my butt rn, but today's my birthday so I am excited to share that with my family!

This is a really tough one, mostly because I never expected this friendship to be so popular with everyone. Although I shouldn't be surprised because Farleigh Start was actually so superior in the movie.

Personally, I think these songs really fit them

Gimme More by Brittany Spears

Bad Girls by M.I.A

That's My Girl by Fifth Harmony (also works for Annabel and Y/N)

So What by P!nk

Is You or Is You Ain't My Baby by Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five (look up Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with this song and TELL me that this won't be the most amazing duet with the pair)

Let me know in the comments of your opnions!

I feel like this is a good opportunity to give off some headcanons to describe the vibes I get from Fareligh and Y/n! There are also just my personal headcanons of Farleigh and his story in my AU! I made up these with the help of my internet soulmate @ethereal-athalia!

Here are some headcanons of my personal take of Farleigh's backstory in my AU and in general:

Is it weird if I can see Fareligh coming from New Orleans, Louisiana? Because I can absolutely see him giving off those vibes. He would fit PERFECTLY as a New Yorker, but I can't help but feel he would thrive in the Crescent City.

Farleigh really misses the States, and a big part of the reason he parties so much is to forget how homesick he is. I find it very odd that we are given this extremely intelligent character who would no doubt thrive in an Ivy League like Yale, Harvard, or Brown, but he's stuck in England. James definitely could have just paid for his education there, so why send him to England? Furthermore, why does James cover him up so much? Is it really just because he's family?

Remember when Felix told Oliver that Farleigh got kicked out of every school in England bc he "sucked the teachers off"? First off, ew. Secondly, sure, Farleigh is a bit of a hedonist, but all of his behavior just kind of screams to me that he's really and genuinely unhappy in England and wants to go back. That might be a reason why he was so reluctant for Felix to get close to Y/N since Chapter 1 of 'Fuck Everything.'

Furthermore, it really bothers me how nonchalant Felix is about telling Oliver that piece of information. Even if he knows that Farleigh wouldn't really care, that is still very private information about a young boy who was taken advantage of by teachers who were in a position that allowed them to abuse their power.

Also, for a film that exposes so much about its characters, we really don't know a lot about Farleigh Start and his story, specifically his family in the States.

The part where Farleigh's mom is terrible with money and constantly needs handouts from her brother, James, is very realistic - that part, I believe. But I feel like there is a lot missing with his dad.

Was his dad actually as brutish and abusive as Felix said to Oliver? Personally, I don't really see it. Even at first glance, the way Farleigh carries himself is leagues different from the rest of the Cattons. He's observant and takes in details. He uses all this information as a weapon for any opponent he goes up against.

In my opinion, I could absolutely see Farleigh's dad being a completely normal and decent person with a job as a librarian or English professor. This idea is mostly stemmed from when Fareligh made the 'thus' argument against Oliver's essay at the beginning of the movie, and this seems like something Farleigh knows as if being explained about it from a very early age.

The reason I think his father is ill-portrayed is because I feel like Farleigh's mother met him while she was in America and was intrigued by his unassuming self and married him. But then she got bored because she wasn't living the high and expensive life she was living in England with her family.

Eventually, she got bored and decided to use Farleigh as an excuse to get money from James. Farleigh's dad might have wanted custody of his son but was threatened by his ex-wife that he would never see his son again.

Farleigh is aware of his mother's toxic tendencies, but she's his mother and he loves her anyway. He know she's leeching off of him to get to her brother. But what are his other options? Let her fend for herself?

This is probably so far-fetched and a huge reach, but the Cattons are portrayed as people who love to feed off their own sense of entitlement over others by showing of 'generous' and 'charitable' they are to take of other people. When anything bad happens to them, they wear it like a trophy. Maybe that's what happened with Farleigh?

NOW! Onto Farleigh and Reader (also ft. Michael Gavey bc he's bb):

Being around Y/N is like being at home for the first time in forever (cue Frozen song) for Farleigh. When they start talking, Y/N is extremely skeptical of his intentions because she thinks that he's just trying to help out Felix. But nope! He just wants a genuine friend.

Y/N makes it clear to Farleigh from the beginning that if he wants to be friends with her, he needs to be friends with Michael. Michael Gavey and Y/N L/N are a package deal. You want one? You get the other.

Farleigh keeps his friendship with Reader a secret from Felix and is helped by Annabel (our girl got a taste of true kindness, sees Felix Catton for the leech he is, and is now part of the Y/N protection club)

With Y/N, he doesn't feel the need to party or drink until he gets alcohol poisoning to have a good time. He learns to have quiet nights doing homework or playing stupid board games with made-up rules.

Michael and Y/N introduce him to DnD, and he's the classic Bard player who rolls for charisma and ends up f*cking his party out of danger every time. Michael is a paladin, and Y/N is a monk, in case you were wondering.

Y/N sometimes uses Farleigh to model for some of her portraits. She learns to appreciate him because she and Michael do need to be reminded sometimes that it's okay to cut loose at times and that spreading their wings won't kill them.

Y/N and Farleigh definitely geek out over art history and literature (symbolism, plot holes, motifs, etc.) and are BIG soul and blues fans. When they all hang out in Y/N's dorm, they will be listening to James Brown, Ella Fitzgerald, and Ray Charles till dawn.

Y/N is someone whom Farleigh can have actual mind-stimulating conversations with in a manner that's respectful but also wildly entertaining. They will discuss everything from rousing debates about politics and current events to philosophical queries about the omegaverse and mpreg.

Michael pretended he wasn't a fan until they caught him singing along to 'Hit the Road Jack' and they never let him forget it.

Also, Farleigh is a MAJOR Michael Gavey x Y/N fan. He wants them to get together SO BADLY! But he won't do this in a productive/uncomplicated way. Nonononono, he plans to make the most convoluted, dramatic, and needlessly complicated schemes to get these two nerds together for his own amusement. *Nudge* *Nudge* *Wink* *Wink*

Real talk though, Fareligh genuinely loves Y/N and her presence as a friend. He has all these expectations placed on him and fake friends who only want to be around him for his cousins. To be around someone who not only misses home like him but also truly appreciates him as an individual and not as a commodity for networking means the world to him.

If Y/N ever does go to Saltburn for the summer (*foreshadowing*), Farleigh will do everything in his power to make sure she won't get sucked into his relatives' fake and shallow schemes.

Also, as a bonus, he loves ranting and trash-talking Oliver with Y/N and Michael. It's like free therapy with better snacks because Michael always brings candy.

These are all the ones I can think of for now, but let me more in the comments or in my ask box if you want more! It really means so much that you guys love this AU so much!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in the comments for future Saltburn AU stuff!

"Fuck Everything, But Mostly Fuck You" Masterlist

Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @arcielee, @valeskafics, @asa-do-your-thing, @aphroditesmoon, @axelsagewrites, @the1999kid, @poolnoodlerescuer, @aemondsbabe, @@winterblu2, @abaker74, @whereismymindnow, @agustdeeyaa, @iamavailablesstuff, @bonnieblue0606, @st-eve-barnes, @@nyxthoughtss, @immyowndefender, @@ilovemydinoboi, @ahristata, @cxp1d, @jinsoulorbitzen12, @temptation-waits, @bollzinurmouth, @jcngw0ns, @seababehh, @destinydestnation, @lankyboi4, @mindless-rock, @cassavacake, @paradisepoison, @@pansexualpamandabear, @erikasurfer, @@lissamans, @cookielovesbook-akie, @thesmutconnoisseur, @izzyisstuff, @lariisouz, @mioshasworld, @themorriganisamonster, @bre99, @babypinkditto

[northern-passage]

is it weird/wrong of me to always play a lesbian character as a man? like no mater what if game i always try and be female, the man mc i just can fit into as a man myself. i dont think its anything to do with wanting to be a woman (but if i was reborn and able to chose how i looked and what gender i would be i would pick to be a woman) im just a bit confused becuse i have seen people say that im basiclly sexuallising lesbians and its very wrong of me to do that. im just lost becuse it dont want to sexualise that but i just feel more comfrotble being a woman in the game becuse it feels like im able to express myself more/be more emotinal, but if im a man ingame it jusr feels wrong of me to do any of that, like im not soppused to.

well... it doesn't really sound like you're sexualizing anyone. what you've described here doesn't really seem to have anything to do with sex in that way at all. it sounds like you just feel more comfortable playing as a woman and there's nothing wrong with that.

there are definitely some games that do write their male and female mcs differently & force them into a very strict gender role (ie man is always big, strong, stoic & masculine whereas woman is always small, dainty, emotional & feminine) and i can definitely understand that it can be uncomfortable being forced into that little box. as a butch lesbian myself i often don't like playing as a stereotypical "submissive feminine woman" & will sometimes choose to play as a man instead to avoid it.

there is absolutely nothing wrong with playing games or exploring characters that are different from you. in fact i think it's very important to learn about other people's experiences. my other game, blood choke, has a lesbian mc but i have no issue with other people playing it; in fact i encourage it!

and now, to be clear, i absolutely am just a random stranger on the internet and there is no way i can extrapolate anything about you and nor do i want to assume anything. but i really really urge you to maybe do some reflecting about why you may feel this way. maybe you are just uncomfortable with being confined to specific gender roles and that's absolutely fair on its own. we live in a patriarchal society that puts a lot of pressure on both women and men to be a certain way. you can express yourself and be emotional as a man, regardless of what society says, if that's what you want. and you can play games as a woman if that makes it easier for you to do that.

but you also just admitted to me that you feel more comfortable playing as a woman in self-insert games because you feel like you can better express yourself as a woman, and that if you had the chance, you would purposefully choose to be a woman in real life.

i feel like i have to let you know that you can actually be a woman in real life, right now, if that is what you really want instead.

at the end of the day i can't tell you what it is that you want nor can i really give you "permission" to do something. maybe none of this really applies to you at all-- again, i'm just a random person on the internet. i don't know you. but based on what you just told me i think it would be worth it for you to sit in these feelings and really think about them and what they may mean. maybe it means nothing. or.... maybe you learn something new about yourself.

either way, just know that what you're doing-- playing as a woman/lesbian-- is fine. especially if it is something that brings you comfort & allows you to express yourself in a way that you feel you normally can't.

much love to you anon 🫶

[under-lore]

It was strange to me that in-universe monsters who saw humans can't recognize frisk by apparence in the genocide route

Is there any explanation of that?

I get that probably is a reference about chara being soulless (since they definitely are with you in that route) and that the player is becoming a like Flowey but in-universe that's weird

Indeed, it is about Chara.

In all parts of the genocide route, there is a certain recurring theme regarding the way some monsters happen to describe Frisk. Even mentioning it as inhuman-like or failing to easily recognise them as such.

However, those instances are not so much tied to Frisk themself, but rather to the way their body is handled and behaves, which contrasts with what those monsters expect of a normal human behavior.

To be exact, the thing that makes monsters react that way is seeing Chara in control of Frisk's body in opposition to just Frisk themself (and the player, of course.) as Chara does not get so assertive in controlling Frisk in other routes.

For instance, Sans sees Chara controlling Frisk near the lamp. Papyrus sees it when Chara walks Frisk straight through the puzzles, Chara is in control when approaching Asgore, etc...

Papyrus is the one monster that actually elaborates just a little bit more in what seems to feel so wrong with the way Frisk's body is moving when Chara controls it :

He describes it as "shambling about".

As Chara was only just very recently brought back to life by Frisk's side, it actually seems quite reasonable that Chara would not be very used to controlling Frisk's body yet. As such, their movements would appear to be somewhat sluggish, likely dragging their feet or with larger heavier steps. A way to walk that, although easier to control for Chara, simply looks really odd for say, the monsters.

The game only gives vague details on what the differences are depending on who controls the body, but those are at least noticeable enough to truly stand out.

They certainly look human, but the way they act does not feel very human or very, say, very "organic". To an outside observer, it just doesn't look right compared to how Frisk trods around when in full control of their own body.

In short, they just look a little bit weird and not all that human-like in a maybe even somewhat creepy manner. This sentence sums it up pretty well.

As Sans put it, this description the game has implicitely made of it looks almost like something that's pretending to be human. Which seems to explain the strange lines in which monsters hesitate regarding Frisk's nature.

If the concept is still difficult to grasp, you could potentially compare it to the way Kris moves at the end of the Deltarune chapters. While the situation is not quite the same between the two games, the way Kris moves in those cutscenes also kinda feels wrong, shambling about in a description not so different from the one Papyrus made.

There is also another really clever side to this, the plural community, who reports experiences of bodysharing in real life, also claims that the other identities usually struggle to move the body on their own at first.

As the number of similarities between NarraChara and a plural system is already large enough by itself to suspect an intentional inspiration on Toby's part, It wouldn't be surprising for Papyrus' words here to have been a specific reference to that detail. In that case, Toby would have done his homework quite well.

Of course, there are plenty of other reasons to make those comments about Frisk's inhuman vibe be as specific as they are in the game, such as foreshadowing or potential hints at Chara's situation like you brought up. But those are out of the scope of the ask. From an in-world perspective, the main thing that causes this change appears to be tied to the times where Chara has control of the body.

[neuroprincess]

August - Larissa Weems/Female Reader - Part Two

Larissa Weems/Female Reader

Summary: After knowing about August's existence, Larissa tries to get closer to the teenager and making it work can be difficult when both are socially awkward.

Classification: Fluff

Warnings: OC (original character)

Word count: +2700

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four (soon)

Unrevised

The teenager takes a bite of apple as she stares at the courtyard distractedly, the social groups are dispersed, gathered together talking about random things, mostly about Rave'N Ball which soon became the main topic. Everyone seems excited describing their party clothes bought especially for the day and who they would bring, she knows she should be excited about the same things or at least pretend so she could socialize with them, but she isn't and can't, the only promising thing about the ball is the food and dancing. She loves to dance, since childhood it seems to be the best way to express herself, more than words anyway. At the age of four she started ballet classes and continued performing until 13 when she had a growth spurt, being too tall and with an inadequate bone structure to continue being a dancer, August used her abilities as much as she could to continue dancing and in the end had to let go when mom found out, disapproving. Y/N understood the motivations, it was the girl's first individual interest and something she had devoted herself to for years, this didn't negate the fact that using shapeshifting is a type of cheating and this consumed a lot of her daily energy to continue with the farce. Besides, where they were living was not very kind to any outcast and unsafe for someone like the teenager, in the end they had to resort to the most radical alternative, sending her to Nevermore. Learning things that she, as a mom and normie, could never teach.

August takes one last bite before discarding the rest of the fruit in the trashcan next to the bench she is sitting on, as turning around she notices the presence of the principal almost next to her, standing looking at some vague point pretending to be analyzing the students, except for her as if barely acknowledging her presence. The girl waves a hand in greeting to get her attention and succeeds, they exchange a quick smile and nod, looking back to the courtyard. It's awkward, none of them like this atmosphere and at the same time they don't make the first move towards a real conversation.

"I... I heard that you haven't been using your abilities for two days now." the blonde begins running over the first few words before continuing "How do you feel about that?"

"It's boring, I confess my life seemed easier. And some people just won't stop staring at me."

"Well, you're pretty and tall, you draw attention from boys and girls." Larissa tries to hit back with positive points and winks to her "Anyone interesting?"

She notices how the girl unconsciously stares at a specific group and looks away blushing, redness taking over cheeks and ears. August just whispers "No." and stares at her confused, she thinks that somehow it's not normal for the principal to ask questions like that. But this is a new world which she is still learning the rules.

"Right... have you already been introduced to your classmates?"

"Not exactly, that blonde werewolf talked to me the first day and told me who was who, after that we never talked again." the teenager shrugs shoulders about the fact, she had met a few students who either seemed intimidated or didn't even bother to introduce themselves properly "And that's okay, I'm trying things on my own."

"I understand." neither of them knows what to say anymore, remaining in a silence for minutes that isn't uncomfortable despite the growing anxiety in the pit of their stomachs. She knows August is talking about Enid and it's her group that she has unintentionally stared at. The girl stands up slowly when she notices some students are already gathering for class "Your uniform looks very... short."

Larissa notices that when the teenager stands, they are 6 inches apart, the uniform set with the skirt, which should be just past her knees, looks too small for her size, like it shrunk in the dryer or something. The sweater is tucked tighter against the body instead of being comfortably loose around her, the shoes look slightly uncomfortable, and the skirt that should be below the knee reaches her knees.

"Oh, that! I guess I spent so much time changing my form that I didn't even realize I had another growth spurt, I just forgot to warn Mama. I could take care of it with my own hands, but shapeshifting is out of our deal." the girl straightened the clothes on her body trying to make them conform to the uniform as best as she could, feeling embarrassed by the situation "I think I can handle 5 days until I can use my abilities again." she whispers the last part for only the two to hear.

"Why don't you tell your mother? I'm sure soon you will stop growing and be able to wear only a size of clothes." "Because that's how it happened to me" the blonde mentally adds, in her school days she had to change the size of her clothes and shoes three times. Growing pains as a teenager, her mother always told her on the way to the mall to buy more clothes. Victoria Weems is as tall as her daughter and apparently the girl inherited that from them, even if Y/N's genes allow her to be a little shorter than the two older Weems "I'm sure she'll buy."

"I'm sure too and that's exactly the point." she says simply, her tone making it clear that she doesn't want to continue the topic, then puts the backpack on shoulders "I have to go, botany class now."

"Right! August, think carefully about the ball, it's not mandatory, but it's a great experience and you have a week to prepare." the principal blinks as the girl walks past her, in response she just gets a shy smile.

Larissa smiles back and as soon as the teenager disappears from her vision she turns to the group of students where Enid is, Wednesday with her, Xavier a short distance away from them, Bianca, Divina and Yoko are nearby talking to the duo, the new student doesn't seem interested keeping the same expression as always, which sends a shiver down her spine when directed at her as Addams realizes the tall woman is staring. The blonde immediately turns to go back to her office, pretending this moment didn't happen, even being a teenager she gives her some chills, not that she is scary but yes her actions, she doesn't know what to expect from her.

On the way through the halls Lara August doesn't leave her mind. First, as principal for many years and past hundreds of students, she didn't believe August would follow through on the deal so easily, the next day the fountain was completely clean and more than before, once again Larissa found herself looking for her, this time knowing who to look for and not found her. What made her upset was the possibility that the girl had gone back to using the abilities to hide from her, a possibility soon denied by Thornhill who had the girl as a helper most part of the day and claimed she saw her go straight to the dormitory. Second, she learned more about her supposed daughter, August sleeps in Ophelia Hall sharing a room with a psychic outcast, the academic curriculum is focused on history and literature, she tried fencing and left when Bianca beat her in 10 seconds, after being rejected by the yearbook she is still looking for an extracurricular activity. And last and not least, that the teenager loves hot chocolate, or should at least like it a lot, because Larissa has seen her drink many cups of hot chocolate with whipped cream this morning for breakfast.

And something struck her as she analyzed the short conversation they had at the break, the group that Lara stared at was precisely Enid's... with Wednesday. It couldn't be possible, she wished there wasn't the slightest chance that the blonde was liking the other girl. Not only would it be ironic considering her own past with Morticia, it would also be Y/N's ruin and maybe August's, because as far as anyone can tell the two are complete opposites. Perhaps, with some hope, her possible love interest could be any of the other girls or even Xavier.

"I wonder if this is how parents feel or act when their children are having a crush on someone."

The day is already over for the Nevermore students, most of them have finished dinner, going to their respective dormitories or gathering in common rooms to study for exams the next day. August doesn't feel the need to spend her evening like this after having dedicated all her free hours to it, she sees how desperate everyone is about some difficult subjects and wonders if she should approach them for help, giving up the idea when they find the answer by themselves or with the help of Bianca, who majestically walks around the tables helping their classmates with small things as if she has all the content memorized in her brilliant mind and making a point of showing how intelligent she is. The shapeshifter tries to be discreet as she stares at their interactions, knowing she is failing in this as her eyes can't leave her until the other notices, Bianca frowns as their gazes meet. August turns face quickly and places her hands on cheeks knowing she must be blushing, this is how it works, when in her normal form the pale skin gives way with annoying ease. It's not like she knows how to hide reactions and emotions either, another part of her socially maladjusted personality.

"Hey, white head!" the siren calls out approaching her, laughing when she notices how the girl stiffens at the desk, dropping the book she was reading and slowly turns to look, confusion in her eyes wondering if it was she who was called "Yes, you. Are you having a hard time too?"

"Yeah, no, I mean no. I've been studying all day." she stutters, trying to look anywhere but Barclay's intimidating eyes.

"I see. So do you have a problem with me?" the question is direct and sincere, too direct for the blonde's conversational standards.

"No, never, I'm... I'm sorry." the two stare at each other for a few seconds that seem tense and that atmosphere is cut off by the queen bee's loud laugh, August not sure how to feel about this reaction, even more confused.

"You were staring at me."

"I didn't even realize. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." she swallows dryly and finally gets up the courage to look her in the eyes, feeling legs getting weak and maybe pressure dropping along with it, if she wasn't sitting up she would probably fall to knees on the floor.

"It's all right. Well, if that's it..." Bianca says casually ready to go to another table to offer help.

"Bianca! Actually..." the shapeshifter takes a deep breath trying to gather courage to continue "I need help, not with the exams. I'm terrible at fencing, you know that, you're the one who made me kiss the ground a month ago." the two laugh for different reasons remembering of her first fencing lesson "Could you give me some lessons or some help? Please."

"Sure! Maybe after the ball, you have the potential for a good opponent, Lara."

"Thank you..."

As soon as the siren gives back August gets up gathering her belongings and tries to leave the common room as discreetly as possible, a difficult task when she messes with the strap of the backpack attached to the chair and quick steps that make the shoes resonate on the floor. "She knows my name! She knows my fucking name!" is the only thing the blonde can think of while running to her dorm, avoiding curious and even judging glances at the big smile on her lips. When she enters the bedroom she seems to be walking on clouds and suddenly feels silly for acting this way just because Bianca Barclay knows her name, maybe it's no big deal, she is a brilliant student with a great memory, or maybe it's too much because after all she is the queen bee while August is another teen without any highlight and who would never draw her attention. August sighs and walks to her side of the room throwing the backpack on the bed, that's when she notices a perfectly wrapped red package on top of the blankets, she stares at it confused, for a moment believes that maybe it's a gift for her roommate and they got the sides confused, but there is a note with her full name written in cursive handwriting.

The package is opened with care, the ribbons undo the lace to reveal a complete uniform set, from blazer to shoes, what makes her happiest is the skirt in the right size looking perfectly cut for her slim and tall body. She looks at herself in the mirror with the skirt clinging to the body, loving how it looks, she would no longer have to adjust every time she sits down or stands up and that is a great relief. All the items are folded up again to be stored and only then August notices something at the bottom of the package, she pulls out a small thick black book with gold details, Good Omens by Neil Gaiman. Next to it a note attached written "It's one of my favorite books, maybe you'll like it too. Good read, August." and immediately she knows who gave her the package. Principal Weems. The only person in the academy who knows how she likes to be called and uses the name. No matter how stubborn and proud she is felt good to earn it from her, almost hugged for someone other than her mom caring about her.

Another morning begins with Larissa comfortably working on her laptop, it's one of the rare occasions when it's calm, especially with the recent events in Jericho and Nevermore, of course, over the question of a certain student's motherhood. Momentarily the tension was lifted from her shoulders and she felt good, relaxing against the chair. Eyes closed thinking of good times, both past and present. She remembers clearly the day she met Y/N, ten years younger, cheerful and spirited, always friendly when she served her a cup of tea. Their first kiss in front of Larissa's apartment, her former home when only a teacher. They barely had a first date before falling into each other's arms, drunk on love... and wine. She sighs remembering those nights on weekends when they bought bottles to accompany home-cooked dinners and it always ended in the same thing. She can remember the young woman's face in vivid details, it's surreal.

And she comes to the realization that there is one more thing to take care of, to finally talk to Y/N, two days earlier all the courage she had gathered to make that call crumbled as soon she heard her voice on the other side of the phone. She hung up without saying anything, hoping that the other woman would think it was a wrong call or just someone making a prank. When there was no return call she knew she was safe and initiated a plan, not very complex, but still important and difficult to approach the teenager. If was any other child she knows it would be easier, but every time she is around August can't stop thinking that this girl is her daughter, even if there isn't a DNA test to prove it yet, imagining how she must have been as a kid, about who she is, what she likes or dislikes, the guilt eating her up inside every second she spends next to her.

"August, what..." she whispers startled when the girl opens the office doors unceremoniously, she is red and disheveled hair evidencing that she ran all the way there "I see you are wearing the..."

"I thought we had an deal, Principal Weems!" she almost shouts interrupting the older woman, to the surprise of both of them "I tried to behave, to fulfill our deal, I'm not even using my abilities. And you betrayed me! I feel dumb for trusting an adult."

"What are you talking about, Lara August?" Larissa doesn't know if she is confused or angry at the teenager's attitude, her tone of voice expresses that.

"You weren't supposed to call my mom and you called her."

"I didn't..."

"She's here!"

"Shit!"

"Yeah, shit!"

"Watch your mouth, young lady!"

taglist: @opheliauniverse @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @scarr0713 @missdowling @dvrkhcld @heidss @loudchaoscoffee @xvyzxx

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[lipstickchainsaw]

Do you have any thoughts on the Burning Grey or Damsel routes? Because I found them both fascinating with the themes of agency and denial of agency, plus with how your shaping of the princess is most clear in the Damsel’s chapter.

I do think it’s very cool that Burning Grey somehow manages to be less creepy than normal old Damsel. Because yes, she’s trying to kill you, but also she appears to have thoughts and feelings and that is significantly less creepy than the hollow shell that is the Damsel.

I think the Burned Grey is fascinating for very much the reasons you describe, but let's talk Damsel first.

Because the Damsel is incredibly unsettling and it's a route that leaves a bad taste in my mouth (in a way the game intended, I mean).

I think a lot of the routes in Slay the Princess explore the theme of agency, especially how unequal power dynamics shape people involved in those exchanges, what resistance looks like in the face of someone having power over you, and whether any real respect or relationship can follow from it.

And the Damsel says 'no, it can't'.

Oh sure, it seems like she says 'yes, it can!' with all the enthusiasm of a chivalric romance, but it can only exist insofar as the Damsel stops existing as a person, only to the extent that she can sublimate her agency, her personality, her wishes, dreams and desires by fully giving into what the person who's there to kill her wants.

(You kill her with one stab, but she has so little power that in Chapter 1 she has to stab you countless times to finally end you.)

The Smitten doesn't care about this and is happy to fully dominate her personality away (which is why he's awful), until she becomes but a prop in the story he wants to tell, an endlessly adoring maiden who hangs off his every word but will, crucially, never express any desire or opinion of her own.

Basically, she doesn't exist.

(And when you try to discover what she does want, what person does exist underneath the adoring accommodation, her physical body becomes as well-defined as her mental existence.)

And you get there by trying, at every turn, to save her, by not considering her enough of a threat to take the knife, and not even bothering to let her try to free herself.

You have denied her any agency in Chapter 1, and thus you get the Damsel.

Crucially, she doesn't even resist when you kill her.

Instead, you then get the Burned Grey, and here's where things get interesting.

You see, the Damsel thought you loved her, and so she became the prop to your story, but you killed her, so clearly this isn't actually what you want.

But that doesn't make sense, because you loved her enough to try to save her the first time!

These contradictions finally spark a degree of agency once again, and the Burned Grey concludes that something is off. She loves you, and she knows you love her, but you keep killing each other.

So it has to be the location itself! It has to be the cabin itself, the entire thing set-up that is setting you at each other's throats even though you don't want to, and the only way to escape this cycle of violence and abuse is to destroy it!

And she's right! The cabin represents the Construct within itself, and the Creator specifically set it up for the Long Quiet to kill the Shifting Mound, and destroying it together is the only way for this to stop!

I think the only other Princess that comes this close to understanding what's actually happening might be the Wild (and possibly the Moment of Clarity, but I am not playing through the Nightmare again to figure that out, thank you).

And so, in a statement of love, empathy, finally finding one's agency, the Burned Grey tries to end this cycle.

By burning you to death.

[eltanin0]

I just found this blog and I noticed that a lot of your stuff seems, well, oddly 3D. I don't mean like in a bad way but it feels like rendered but untextured 3D models? I kinda want to ask what your art process is (sorry for mini-rant)

thanks for checking out my blog! and no need to apologize for anything.

hmm, my art process. honestly i have no idea what to say, i dont know how people normally answer this question so i cant base it off anything either. i'm still kinda new to this whole art thing but i'll try and answer, super sorry if i get this completely wrong and this was all a waste of time.

i guess i'll just talk about how i draw things step by step? for the high effort pieces at least.

ok, so for starters like step 0. when it's a high effort piece, i can already see the image in my mind. i see the pose, i see the general lighting, the layout of stuff, but it's a bit blurry. if i cant see this mental image, the drawing usually comes out extremely poorly.

this is kind of an example of what i see in my head? this might be all useless info idk, but this is i guess where i start.

well step 1 is just the sketch and line. i start with just sketching the general shapes, then slowly refining it until it fits close enough to the image in my head. then in the line layer i'll fix any mistakes the sketch had and add more details to it. oh and for brush, it's just a round brush, like default. i dont know how much of a difference using a drawing tablet does, but i dont use one so... yeah.

i should've put more effort into the sketch for this drawing, but i did not.

next i do flat colors. pretty simple, i just select the smart select the outside of the line layer, invert the selection and now i can't paint outside the lines. i dont really think about what colors i use, i just use whatever the characters normal colors are.

next i do the shading, but first. i duplicate flat layer and recolor it to like a cream color

like so. for high effort pieces, i was told online to shade in pretty much black and white. now actually onto shading. there's 2 kinda shading i do, 1 from the proper light source, and 1 that's kinda just a shadow because things are close together (like corners and stuff). and i'll shade them on separate layers so i can adjust them individually however i want. oh right, i'll either use a very dark color, pretty much black and the the layer blending mode set to multiply. or i'll use a light kind of gray, tinted slightly yellow or something and set the layer blend mode to difference. then i just use a soft air brush and shade in the ways i described above. shading from regular light source, and the corner stuff thing.

normal lightsource - - - - - corner thing

then toggle both layers on and mess with the opacity of each layer until you get what you want.

then you can toggle the normal flats layer, the one that has color and it should apply the shading decently. you can mess with the opacity again on the shadows.

next i do lighting. i just grab a very light color, usually pretty close to white and set the layer blend mode to overlay. then i use a soft airbrush and "light" it? idk i just do like the opposite of the normal shadows, lighter the closer it is to the light source

mess around with the opacity as usual. then i do pretty much the same thing if there's another light source. in this case there was a blue light kinda coming from underneath, so i did that.

now from here i would go back to the flats layer, make a copy, and mess around with different layer styles and properties and settings. sometimes just messing around is useful. in this case, i felt it was too bright and colorful, so i decreased the brightness and saturation of it.

i think it helped a little bit but who knows.

now i do some kinda highlights and details. i grabbed the colors that were in the background and used those. it was a weird pale blue. i had 2 layers for this, 1 of them was specifically for his antenna things at the top, and one was just for his "skin". anyway, the antenna layer was normal, just kinda gave it an outline with the random reflective circles you see normally in pictures, no thoughts behind them. the skin tho had the layer blend mode set to soft light, i thought it looked best this way. it was just more random things to imply it was slightly reflective.

together the layers looked like this. i think it makes him look glossier which is what i was aiming for.

next, and it pretty much the end for pebbles, i got someone to look at it and let me know if they think anything was missing. they said it looked a little unsaturated. which it does. so i made a new layer, set the blend mode to saturation, grabbed the airbrush and made it pretty inline with the lighting layer.

that's kinda it. the background i didnt really care about, just drew and colored it. blurred it a bunch and added a bunch of shadows. i did add some like, "overshadows" is what i call it, i just draw some big shadows down the screen as the top layer.

but yeah thats literally everything i did to draw this. i would like to apologize if this was not at all what you wanted to know, i'm certain i've screwed this up bigtime. super sorry for wasting your time. if there's anything i can do to help, please ask. i owe you a proper answer to your question, i'm just really dumb. sorry for rambling. sorry. and sorry if the drawing i used for example didnt showcase what you wanted to know.

also, i really like your art! please keep up the great work!

[stuckyfingers]

I'm just thinking about autistic Steve...

(I'm not as well educated about autism as I'd like to be so do correct me if I'm wrong)

Like, he's always been 'weird' even apart from his physical disabilities. He's felt a kind of self hatred over how sensitive he is to little things that are wrong but he can't explain why.

He hated talking but also loved talking about one specific thing that noone had any idea why he liked. (If someone can headcanon his hyperfixation, that'd be great). Either way, it didn't make him very popular among his peers. As a child he'd get bullied for just about anything because of how many faux pas-es he made.

He'd try to get home as soon as possible from school and shut himself into his plywood cabin of a room and cry. Bucky theorized that he was a vampire because of how much he liked fabric lined dark places.

He never guessed it wasn't normal to hate wearing clothes, so he continued living in constant discomfort and caution. Sarah had caught on to the specificities of how he needed his food and tried her best to get his safe foods on the table despite being poor. (Yes, she even called it that.)

Did I mention he also starts crying when he can't predict his day. And when things get more and more uncertain with the Depression swinging in, he gets so stressed that his heart problems worsen.

But having Bucky as a friend helps them both survive the times. Bucky was the only person who seemed unconcerned and unjudgmental about Steve's 'moodiness' and 'fidgeting'. He tried to understand when Steve described sensory overloads to him, and though he couldn't relate he accommodated Steve as much as he could.

Steve was frighteningly smart and picked up on every social cue he found, organizing them into a mental flowchart, assuming that this was what everyone did. But for most of his childhood he saw himself as less smart because Bucky seemed to be able to tell him things that he somehow still missed.

"Well how the fuck am I supposed to know that if they don't give any indication of being sarcastic?"

"Because it's not sarcasm, Steve... It's just- talking shop. A fake nice word, just because."

"How am I supposed to tell the difference?"

"Well, you just do. I don't know how you could... consciously do it."

By the miracle of God (and Bucky) he pushes through Eugenics era until 1943.

The Serum brings color to his eyes and more sound to his bad ear.

And he hates it.

But what's new is how much more physical energy he has to mask it.

It feels comparatively better to be able to mask without getting exhausted so fast, so he assumes his 'weirdness' has been cured and goes to war. In his line of work, however, he never gets a day's rest for his brain that craved routine, and because of how he's now able to push the feeling deep down and cover it up, Bucky can hardly recognize him.

And when he's out of the ice, his brain is turned to mush at having to learn new cues along with being autistic but anyone in that situation would have found it as difficult, so he passes it off.

One day he sees one of the people at Sam's VA talked about how their autism shaped their experience of PTSD differently, and Steve did the customary google search to learn more about it.

It said 'can't make eye contact'. But he knew the correct ratio of eye contact / looking away and what part of the eye he could look at so that it wouldn't drive him mad.

It said 'sensory issues' and he felt bad for those who actually had it because that must be horrible.

'Black and White thinking' okay but that doesn't mean- but see, he did know that illegal things weren't necessarily bad, right? He was ready to accept the criminality of something if it was a means to a moral end. And maybe there were some things that he could not see any nuance in but there were so many things he could. He couldn't have believed in Bucky if his thinking was Black and White right?

'Lack of empathy' No. Steve didn't understand people's feelings immediately, but he always logically guessed when they needed help. He kept note of the things that people found comforting so that he could be of comfort when they were down. He was empathetic, right?

He knew he wasn't autistic. (spoiler alert, he's just reading the symptoms from an outside perspective)

It's when he starts following more and more autistic creators that he felt less wrong for those weird things he did as a kid. He chuckles nervously scrolling through the tiktoks like "Ha ha why are ya'll so relatable"

He's not immune to the stigma but comes to terms with it. It feels a lot like how he came to terms with being queer. He's even surprised when he realizes that he was also wrongly assuming that it was gone because of the serum when it just became more manageable (for others) when he did.

Bucky listens like he always did when Steve explains things to him. And after a long while of living his truth with Bucky, Steve gets more comfortable describing himself as autistic to other people as well.

He starts experimenting with stimming, which already feels MILES better than forcing himself into a 'calm' and steady Captain's body language. Once he retires after Endgame, he surrounds himself with comfort and accommodations in his apartment and builds a routine he can finally be at peace with.

[iraprince]

I adore all your art with cookie and was interested in Sapphicworld- but I’m curious (so plz don’t take this as a negative-) what exactly in your opinion sets it apart from other Queer PBTA hacks like Thirsty Sword Lesbians?

I’d just really like to hear your thoughts about it as a system and world especially given you are a indie developer yourself?

hi!! thank you!!

so, a few caveats before i start off — one, i actually haven't played many other pbta games (like for example i know Of thirsty sword lesbians + own a copy that i've poked around in but im not very familiar w it), so i honestly can't provide much in the way of comparing/contrasting it w other pbta stuff in the same vein, and my impressions of sapphicworld are pretty much just contained to the game as its own thing, not so much sapphicworld as a Type Of Game

and two, while i am a dev myself, i'm a huge novice! like, i'm proud of the stuff i put out and i love doing it, but i personally feel like my lack of experience is such that like, i don't think my opinions in this case are particularly informed by my own work as a dev or anything. all this to say im happy to answer this question, i think i just gotta tackle it from a different frame than what ur specifically asking!

BUT ANYWAY. i can still talk abt why im so excited abt sapphicworld in a way that has kind of outstripped other stuff in general, and for me it's about the world 100%. like i honestly spend close to no time thinking abt the fact that sw is even pbta to be honest. not that the mechanics + gameplay aren't important, bc they are thoughtfully crafted and well done and fun, and i'm saying that from the perspective of someone who playtested earlier versions that have now been reworked! it's just like, not what comes to mind first for me — what's exciting and fresh and irreplaceable abt the game in my mind is like. it is fully committed to immersing you in an extremely lush, strange, richly fleshed out world, one with a long history and folklore/mythology and a TON of really fun npcs who all have different subcultures and its own calendar with seasonal holidays and regional terrain with specific fleshed out dungeons/towns/etc to discover and even like, specific FOODS typical to each different region and and and and —

and maybe at first that seems kind of overwhelming, and tbh it is. when i first got into it and i was going thru the playtest document (which if im remembering right was like. ~300 pages shorter at the time than the current playtest doc) i DO remember anxiously thinking to myself "god this is a LOT and idk if i'll be able to retain enough of this to rp convincingly" etc etc. but like... it's just really compelling, and it does an incredible job of mixing humor and gravity and horniness in a perfect ratio that always comes across as intensely earnest and makes it equally easy to have a fun goofy time or a really emotional time, which i think is REALLY hard to do.

and while normally it's hard for me to get thru something that dense and long all i can really say is that i just straight up like it enough and was charmed by it enough to pick away at it until i grasped it and felt like i understood a bunch about the world, which also has a curve to it bc in structure and tone its very different from any of your... idk more Standard fantasy or sci fi worldbuilding, so it's not like u can immediately slot in ur expectations from other settings and just learn some new vocab words, it's a world that from my perspective also Functions differently than a lot of other fictional settings in a way that's a little hard to describe succinctly. (none of this is succinct to begin with but ykwim). it makes me want to gm my own campaign, really really bad, when usually i have always been absolutely Terrified of the idea of gming! idk man. it has a Flavor. it's full of Vapors. u get transported somewhere else reading it and playing it in a way i haven't experienced in a while and a lot of times after a playtest session i felt like my brain stayed behind in sapphicworld for a pretty long time.

i feel like i am sounding a little melodramatic and incoherent but like. genuinely sapphicworld is just a fictional world that i am really bone-deep charmed by and interested in and when i WAS reading thru the rulebook for those first days it did not take me long at all to find myself constantly thinking "i want to play in this world, i want to play in this world, i can't wait to play in this world," and i just think that's really special. and like — just as your curiosity abt comparing sw to tsl was not intended as a diss or a negative, what im abt to say is similarly neutral — im a person who sometimes finds it a little difficult to click with or feel excited abt a lot of the Queer Indie Stuff that i see get popular with other people, bc it just doesn't connect w my specific lesbian + trans experience; not that it feels inauthentic but that im like, oh, idk, i think these guys are just. not My Zone, ykwim. on the flip side so much of the humor and heart and transness and sex in sapphicworld is something that really resonates w me and just Clicks in a way that i have also found really special.

rounding myself off before i ramble for like five more paragraphs but just as one more morsel of something i like abt sapphicworld that is a little more concrete than me spinning around the room yelling "I JUST LIKE IT OKAY": one of the most fun parts of character creation is getting to mix and match your kind (sort of like ancestry/species, the form ur physical body takes) with a subculture. so u get things like a werewolf babe (cookie! babe being a subculture that focuses on being Like, Totally Hot), or a centaur knight, or a minotaur debaucher, or a vampire cowboy, or an organist (cthulu-y tentacle guy) scenester, or a skeleton wizard, etc etc etc etc — there are SO MANY to pick from that when i was trying to bait my friends into playing w me i couldn't find a convenient way to list them all so ppl could start thinking abt their characters. and every possible combination basically is interesting and amusing and fun and practically THROWS a great oc into your lap and i literally think i could amuse myself endlessly just Making Characters in sapphicworld and never actually playing w them.

[panting, disheveled] so tldr. i like it. uh. what sets sapphicworld apart from other ttrpgs to me is that i have fallen balls to the wall in love with the very soul of it to the point where i don't even really think about it in comparison to other games at all and it has just become an Experience to me and i suppose i cannot guarantee anyone else will fall into insane homosexual hysteria in the same way but here we are. HOPE THAT HELPS

(ALSO PSSST. idk if this is just perfect timing or if ur curiosity was specifically prompted by this but the @sapphicworldttrpg patreon DID just launch and if any of this has been intriguing u should check it out. okay mwah bye)

[tanadrin]

Ignoring the sex aspect, could you expand on what makes a preference neurotic or immature? You say “I disagree. I think it’s in fact pretty easy to separate neurotic/immature preferences from other kinds of preference. Like if you dislike the color red, that’s a normal preference. If you refuse to enter a room with any red objects in it, that’s probably something closer to a neurosis.”, which is just an example. What’s the actual principled distinction?

"Neurotic" and "immature" were possibly ill-advised words--maybe it would be better to describe them as preferences that seem to me to be fundamentally reasonable vs ones that, if I detected them in myself, I would feel motivated to ruminate on and dissolve if possible, or which seem in some way self-defeating or self-limiting.

I am not sure it is possible to give a set of criteria specific enough to distinguish, in every case, a preference of type 1 and a preference of type 2--and some of what we consider preferences of type 1 vs of type 2 is culturally contingent, to the point it may differ in different contexts. These are instrumental categories with a fair amount of overlap in the middle, so I don't know that I can adequately define this particular kind of preference with the specificity you seem to be seeking. It's a judgement call!

They may be easier to distinguish in the context of sex. In the specific case of sex, it seems to me that a lot of people have what we might think of as a ground-level sexual orientation, a pattern of desire/attraction that is basically unalterable, and on top of that we have a still-pretty-unconscious-but-much-more-contingent set of attitudes/credences/reflexes that may alter or limit the expression of the basic pattern of attraction/desire, but which is alterable. And the best example of this might be someone who is gay, but repressed because they were taught all their life it's disgusting to have gay sex. There definitely seems to be a large class of people who are, for instance, attracted to trans people, but who have a specific cultural attitude towards trans people (that they are disgusting or wrong) such that that attraction is also bound up with intense feelings of disgust. And that disgust can become quite paranoid, like with the people on twitter who secretly suspect every female celebrity of note of being trans.

But such attitudes can (and often are) confronted and even dissolved over time. Disgust can be unlearned! Which indicates to me that though these attitudes can seem quite deep-seated, they are fundamentally different in nature from people's deeper structures of desire, which do seem relatively fixed. Conversion therapy doesn't work; there doesn't seem to be a way to deliberately unlearn a paraphilia. You can't change someone else's or your own core sexuality very much.

This is not to say "genital preference is necessarily transphobia." It's also certainly not to say that even people who are transphobic don't have a right to select their partners. You do not have to have a good reason, or any reason at all, not to sleep with someone. So I want to head off that possible misunderstanding now. But it does seem to me that, insofar as complex preference sets like those that govern sexual attraction are composed of different kinds of preferences interacting, narrowly focused bodily preferences which operate more or less in a vacuum (e.g., "I find every single thing about this man attractive, except that he doesn't have a penis") are much more likely to be of the contingent, malleable sort rather than the ground, inflexible sort, unless they are the object of a kind of narrow sexual fixation that's so intense it's of the "I cannot have an orgasm unless I am licking a size 6 women's high-heeled shoe" variety, i.e., a really specific paraphilia.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, I know you're catching a lot of flak right now for your comic, and I just want you to know that it's justified. Saying that you need a seperate pride without kink to "feel safe" is actively homophobic. Everything you described happening at the "good pride" also happens at normal pride just alongside the parties. Gay kinksters CREATED pride, we literally wouldn't be allowed to celebrate it without them. You can't give conservatives even an inch on this. "there should be prides without kinks for people like me" may be the extent of your thoughts but it is so easy for others to jump off from there into "all prides should be without kink" and other measures to control queer bodies in public. Please do some research into the origins of pride and see if you can still stand by your mistake

I'm actually not catching a lot of flak, I thought I was gonna, but people are being understanding of what I'm trying to mean, and I'm very grateful for that!

I didn't want to picture any specific pride as "good" or "bad", sorry if it came across this way, that means I did my drawing job badly. All I wanted to do was give visibility for my own experience.

Apologies also if I came across as homophobic – please know that wasn't my intention either, although I've kind of got that before – being called homophobic for being asexual and having my own needs be about... Welp, not needing sex, and not needing romance, while the goal of most other orientations is to show OTHER kinds of sex and romance. I want to believe these aren't incompatible goals, but I guess sometimes they can be.

...What I should say is, if we're going there, saying an asexual person doesn't have the right to want to feel safe and included in SOME LGBTQIA+ events seems pretty aphobic to me.

I 100% agree with your point that sadly there will definitely be conservatives who'll take this need as "all prides should be without kink", or take comics like these the wrong way. But I think if you're accusing me of saying exactly that, instead of the nuanced and more neutral message I'm trying to give, you're basically falling into the same mentality as they are. I believe for there to be intelligent progress for human rights for everyone, people should be able to read between the lines and understand that there are complexities that should be taken into account. If they can't take into account these complexities without ruining it all for everyone, then that leaves me with little hope for any of us to begin with.

As far as the origins of pride are concerned, I'm not denying that at all either, and that should be recognized. Again, like – I think it's absurd that we live in a world that's so explicitly heterosexually kinky on a 24/7 basis (in our movies, our TV shows, our ads, our societal habits, ALL of it) and that some people are trying to say LGBTQI+ people shouldn't be allowed to be explicitly kinky in the same way. All I'm saying is – for sex-repulsed asexuals like me, not being kinky IS what feels safe, and if I can't find events where I can feel that kind of safety, and where I have to force myself to smile and nod to stuff that makes me feel unsafe no matter where I go, I'm pretty much in the same self-repressed situation as I'm in every day in a heteronormative world. Hence why I said I'm glad pride has come so far that some of them can be inclusive even for people like me. That such things can coexist. That I believe they should.

I should also note (I might be wrong on this, please anyone correct me if I am) that asexuality as an orientation started actively being coined in the US only in the 70s (and that came much later in a majority of other countries), and we got our first flag only in 2010. Which means the first prides by nature could not be inclusive for us because we were too scared/repressed by societal norms to even have come out yet. And just like (in my country at least) what was formerly called "Gay pride" is now called simply "Pride", and just like the pride flag has evolved to include more minorities and realities of experiences within the LGBTQIA+ community, I believe it's a good thing if prides can also evolve in that sense. It has become our tradition by now as a community largely speaking, and I think traditions ought to know to evolve as well – if they didn't none of us would be allowed to exist at all and we'd all be still stuck in hetero norms. Maybe in the future things will evolve to the point where there's a variety of prides that cater more to some orientations than others (I think that may be already happening?). And maybe, hopefully, someday in the future, prides as a way to raise awareness won't be needed at all anymore because people already know and accept it. Though sadly we're still not at that point now...

...With that said, to conclude, I ought to give the Paris Pride another chance again focusing on like, before the parade begins, or after it concludes, to mainly attend the conferenes and speeches and whatnot and find what works for me in those those. Maybe that's the better way for me to experience this.