#there's a reason why i haven't been here for a while

[yupstillaghost]

Thinking about John Murphy in a grumpy x sunshine scenario.

(By the way, I just started watching The 100, so please be nice)

Warnings: swearing, conflicting feelings, mentions of violence.

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Thinking about John Murphy getting lost with you in the woods after you were both sent out together to hunt.

You remained optimistic while Murphy wanted you to shut up for just 5 seconds so he could concentrate on trying to find camp again.

You were one of the odd balls of the band of criminals that came to Earth from The Ark. You were only there because you were convicted of a crime you didn't commit.

Murphy couldn't stand your cheerful attitude. The sound of your voice nauseated him, and being stuck with you only made him want to kill you more with each passing second. If it weren't for Clarke, you would have been dead as soon as he got off the ship.

Nightfall came closing in on the two of you, and you still haven't found your way back to camp. So the only option you had was to build a fire and try to get some rest for the night.

The next problem to arise was that it had rained earlier in the day, so all the wood and leaves you could find were too damp to burn. You had to forgo the fire and just try your best to get some sleep.

Murphy was on his back staring up at the star filled sky, his breath a fog in his face due to the cold night air. His jaw clenched in frustration because he couldn't sleep over the sound of your teeth chattering and your shakey breaths.

He sat up quickly and turned to you to tell you stop, but he froze at what he saw. You were curled up in a ball with your eyes screwed shut, shivering and trying your hardest to conserve your own body heat, your teeth chattering away. Your upper body was just covered by a thin long sleeve shirt that did next to nothing when it came to keeping you warm.

Murphy was bewildered when he realized he kind of felt sorry for you. You were too weak to be out here. You should have stayed at camp where you were safe. He had no idea why you volunteered to come with him on this hunting trip, nor did he have any idea why Bellamy let you come.

Murphy rolled his eyes and let out a big sigh, creating a big cloud of his own breath. He shrugged off his jacket and drapped it over your body, mumbling incoherent complaints as he layed back down.

You opened your eyes when you realized the cold had left you. You lifted your head to see Murphy's jacket laying over you and looked to your right to see Murphy curled up like you were.

Without even giving it a second thought, you shifted over next to him and drapped the jacket over the both of you. When Murphy opened his eyes and saw you laying so close to him, his heart felt like it skipped several beats.

"What the hell are you doing?" He snarled at you. You just offered him a kind smile and said, "If we're gonna survive out here, we should look out for each other."

Murphy stayed laying on his back while you laid on your side facing him. You were so close to him that his arm was almost touching your chest. The jacket laying on top of the both of you helped to keep your combined body heat contained, so the frigid air was more tolerable.

Murphy tilted his head towards you and observed you as you slept. He couldn't wrap his head around why you were so nice to him when he was anything but nice to you. He treated you like dirt. He would cuss at you, threaten you with words and weapons, and body check you if you got in his way. He gave you every reason to hate him, and yet you remained as sweet as honey.

You always said good morning and goodnight to him even if he replied with a grumbled "shut up" or "fuck off". You always gave him whatever food you didn't eat with a smile and he would accept it with reluctance and furrowed eyebrows. When you found out it was his birthday a few weeks back, you made him a necklace out of acorn shells and twine because "everyone should get a gift on their birthday, John." He refused to wear it, but he secretly kept it because for some reason he couldn't bring himself to throw it out.

Murphy fell asleep to the sight of your resting form, and when he woke the next morning, he felt something on his chest weighing him down. He blinked his eyes open and saw your head laying right over his heart with your hand resting on his sternum.

You were still asleep, your breaths coming out in soft snores. You must have wandered closer to him in your sleep, and now you were cuddled up to him like he was your long-time lover.

Murphy laid frozen with ambivalence. He didn't like you, that he knew for certain, but he also didn't hate the site and feeling of you curled up to him. He would be a lying bastard if he said he didn't feel a weird turning in his stomach that most people called butterflies.

He raised a hand slowly and found himself reaching for your head to stroke your hair. He stopped himself before he could do it, rerouting his thoughts out of his heart and back into his head. He instead used that same hand to lightly shake your shoulder to wake you up.

You mewled as you woke, and then you quickly sat up once you realized you were cuddling with Murphy. You glanced over at him as he sat up and looked at you like he was waiting for an explanation.

"Good morning, um... sorry about that. I guess i got cold last night, " you said in a coy tone. Murphy let out a sigh through his nose and threw his jacket back on. "Whatever just...don't do it again," he replied with annoyance.

After hours of walking and taking occasional rests when you got tired, you both finally found your way back to camp. Bellamy came running up to you and Murphy with relief in his body language.

"What happened? I was starting to think you two were dead, " Bellamy lectured like an angry parent. "We got lost, but John got us back safely," you beamed while squeezing Murphys bicep. He, of course, ripped himself from your grip and looked at you like you had 6 heads.

"Oh ya, sure you got lost," you heard Jasper chime in as he came up beside Bellamy. You chuckled and gave Jasper a playful shove before walking away and heading to your tent. Jasper and Bellamy both watched as you walked off, and Jasper mumbled something to Bellamy that made Murphy's blood boil. "I wouldn't mind getting lost with her."

Murphy grabbed Jasper by the collar of his shirt and brought him in so he was nose to nose with him. "Say that shit again and you're a fucking dead man. Got it?" Murphy growled, feeling his veins swell with anger and... jealousy? Jasper nodded his head nervously, and Murphy shoved him away. Bellamy took Jasper by the arm and looked at Murphy like he couldn't figure out why he lashed out before they both turned away.

Truthfully, Murphy didn't know why he lashed out either. He normally wouldn't give a shit if any guy looked at you or made suggestive comments about you. It was clear that after having spent all of yesterday and last night lost in the woods with you that his feelings towards you were starting to shift. Why did you have to be so damn nice?

[sundropmoondroplover]

Protect The Starlight Sun/Moon x Reader Chapter 11

You had finished getting ready after falling asleep at the Pizzaplex. Shit... you hope that your boss wouldn't figure out about you falling asleep here. "Good morning, Starlight!" Sun said happily. "Good morning, Sun... you aren't going to tell Shawn that I..." you said not finishing your sentence. "That you fell asleep here. No! I'll keep the secret! Pinky promise!" Sun said holding his robotic pinky to you. You smiled and did a pinky promise with Sun. Sun had left to let you get ready and dressed for the day. Today was Somewhat the same but also different.

        There was this child that you had never seen before. A blind little boy. You might've not known the child, but Sun and Moon did. They both had acted like they haven't seen the child in a long time. "Starlight! You haven't met this little boy!" Sun said grabbing your hand bringing you to the little boy. You saw the little boy had a white cane. Sun was making extra noise so that the little boy could hear him. "Hey there buddy..." you talked to the little boy. "Oh hi! What's your name?" the little boy asked. "My name is Y/n. What's yours buddy?" you asked.

        "My name is Jacob!" the little boy said. "Sun told me how much he really likes you around!" the little boy added on. You could've sworn that you could've seen Sun blush softly. You watched as Sun played with Jacob very gently making you smile. Even though Sun and Moon were animatronics that shared the same body... they knew how to treat the children just right.  Soon nap time came fast. You were sitting with Moon. Moon was watching over the children. You had realized over the little while that you had been working there than Moon really wasn't that bad.

        He just seemed to have trust issues. You weren't sure why he had these trust issues, but you were slowly bringing down his walls. "So... How do you and Sun know the little blind boy, Jacob?" you asked Moon. "Jacob... was a child that first came to the Daycare 2 years ago..." Moon replied. "You guys seem to adore him" you said smiling. "Yeah... he's... a good kid..." Mood said. You continued to smile listening to him. "Never took you for the type to get attached to kids... no offense" you told Moon.

        Moon stared at you. "Why shouldn't I? I can't like children?" he asked. "No! I didn't mean it that way I swear!" you told him. Moon let out a growl. "Of course you didn't..." he mumbled. Fuck... did you say something wrong? You didn't want to push him away. "I'm sorry Moon... if I said something wrong" you told him. Moon looked back at you. "Don't apologize... you didn't do anything wrong..." he said. You looked at the bell on his wrist. You reached over to Moon's wrist to touch the bell. Moon being the cautious attendant he was took his hand away. "O-Oh.. I'm sorry Moon" you mumbled looking away. 

Moon's P.O.V

        Why did Starlight try to touch my bell? 'Why'd you pull away Moon?? Starlight just wanted to touch the bell' Sun said. 'It doesn't matter Sun... Starlight shouldn't get close... I'm too dangerous' I replied into our shared mind space. 'You're not... dangerous' Sun replied sadly. I watched Starlight get up. "I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick I'll be right back..." Starlight told me. "Don't wake the children..." I told Starlight. I watched Starlight get up and walk out of the daycare. 'Starlight is... really kind and sweet...' Sun told me. 'Yeah... too kind and sweet for their own good...' I said in our mind. 

        Starlight soon came back into the daycare. I got up humming walking over the sleeping kids making sure not to step on them. My bells quietly making noises as I walked. 'Moon... you really care about Starlight. We both do! Why are you pushing them away...?' Sun asked in our shared head space. 'I need to push them away... I have every reason to. Even though I care about them... so much' I replied. 

2nd P.O.V

        You watched as Moon was treading around carefully making sure not to wake any of the kids. He seemed to be staying away from you now. You let out a sigh. You just wanted to understand Moon. Sun seemed to enjoy being around you but why was Moon constantly pushing you away? You wish you could figure out what happened to Moon. You were going to try asking other employees if they knew. But for now, mystery about Moon will stay in the shadows. Where they would stay for a long time. 

[pathetic-gay]

Azzi Fudd x Clark!Reader || Junior Year

Being Caitlin Clark's twin sister isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I decided to try my hand at something new...Let me know what you think...This could be a few parts, some of which may or may not be already done...This is not based on a real game...

It's late February of the 2022-2023 college basketball season. My twin Caitlin and I are juniors playing for our college the Iowa Hawkeyes. It's one of our last regular season games before March Madness begins next week. We are playing the UConn Huskies at home and it's been a close game to say the least. I've been on the bench the whole game so far and while watching I haven't been able to keep my eyes off number 35. Her play style is mesmerizing.

"Clark!" Caitlin and I both turn to look at Coach Bluder from our spot on the bench. "You're in." is all she says without looking in our direction. Caitlin and I share a glance as we both move to stand, me getting ready to take off my warm up jacket, but Coach finally looks over shaking her head. "Not you," she says pointing at me. I let out a sigh and sit back down zipping my jacket back up. Caitlin gives me a sad smile before rushing to the desk to check back into the game.

I should be used to this by now but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. Coach Bluder has always favored Caitlin over me, playing her in every game. She's just like everyone else in our lives. Hell our parents call every week to talk to Caitlin seemingly forgetting they have another daughter.

It wasn't always this way.

Growing up our family was fine. Caitlin, Blake, Colin and I were all treated equal. Our parents scrambled to bring us all to practices and games for our sports. Blake with football. Cait and I with basketball and Colin with whichever of his sports were in season. Our parents gave each of us equal attention. Then as Cait started to 'excel' more in basketball their attention shifted more to her. Our brothers weren't left behind though…only I was. Even Colin and Blake's attention went to Caitlin!

Believe me it's not like I suck at basketball. I'm just as good if not better than Caitlin but for some reason no one seems to notice that. Not even Coach Bluder. I've sat the bench for the last 3 games this season. It would have been more but Coach's usual reserves picked up injuries allowing me a few minutes here and there. It's been the same since freshman year. I've been itching to get on the court to prove myself but I never get the chance.

I let out another sigh before leaning back in my seat, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my warm up jacket, watching as Caitlin sinks another basket, our teammates clapping her on the back as she transitions to defense.

"She's sorry you know." A voice says. I glance to the left and see Kate Martin, Caitlin's best friend, giving me a soft smile now in the seat Caitlin was just in. I roll my eyes putting my attention back on the game watching as 35 sinks a 3-pointer from the other end of the court before being subbed off. "She is." Kate pushes. "She has noticed the shift. She has tried talking to Coach but they are adamant they won't play you. Coach wouldn't tell her why." Kate explains, keeping her voice low.

I continue to ignore her, hating the way those words made me feel.

"She even said she has tried talking to your parents but they blow her off asking about her last games instead." Kate continues. I scoff turning to look her in the eye.

"Her 'trying' doesn't mean shit to me." I say glaring at Kate who shrinks back a bit. "This has been going on for years and she decides now to 'try'?" I spit, ignoring the looks I'm getting from those around me. Kate sighs turning to glance at the game.

"I can't speak for why she hasn't done anything sooner but she is sorry. She is trying to make things right." Kate reiterates. I shake my head and stand turning to walk towards the locker room. If Coach noticed she doesn't say a word, which pisses me off more.

"Bull shit." I mumble to myself as I take off my uniform leaving it on the bench as I change into my jeans and Iowa t-shirt. I'm so in my head that I miss the person who followed behind me, only realizing when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I quickly turn rolling my eyes at the sight of Caitlin standing there out of breath and sweaty.

"Y/n listen- " I cut her off before she can start some lame explanation.

"No. For once I will not sit back and let you control everything. This is my college career that is suffering while you get to enjoy yours. I am sick and tired of having to live in your shadow. Mom and Dad haven't called me in 2 years and yet they call you every week. Hell even Blake and Colin talk to you more in a month than they have with me in the last 2 years. Did you know that?" I ask sarcastically, knowing the answer already.

As expected she stays silent, shifting her gaze to the ground. "I won't be around to cloud your fame any longer." I say as I pick up by bag and phone, pushing past Caitlin and making my way out of the locker room towards door leading to the parking lot. Thankful I had saved to buy my own car so I don't have to share anything else with Caitlin. I keep walking trying to will away the tears that are building.

I turn the corner to the exit of the stadium only to run into a body. I drop my bag and reach out to stop us both from falling looking up to see the beautiful girl.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention where I was going." I rush out. She giggles and I freeze at the sound. She looks me up and down before holding out her hand.

"I'm Azzi." she says, a large smile on her face. I return her smile taking her hand in mine. I open my mouth to introduce myself but she speaks again before I can. "You're Y/n Clark," my eyes widen in surprise, she giggles at my response. "don't look so shocked. I've heard a lot about you." she says.

"You have?" I question still in shock, she nods glancing down. It's then I realize I'm still holding onto her hand. "S-Sorry." I say releasing my grip. She giggles again waving me off.

"Don't worry about it. Why do you seem so surprised?" She questions leaning against the wall. I follow her actions, forgetting I was meant to be leaving the stadium. All the anger I had felt before disappearing the longer I'm in Azzi's presence.

"Well most people either think I'm Caitlin, or they know I'm not and ask where she is. No one usually asks about or knows Y/n." I say. She looks at me confused for a second before her eyes widen.

"Caitlin isn't as good as you are." Is all Azzi says. I go quiet before whispering softly.

"No one's ever said that before." She gives me a soft smile, one that doesn't seem out of pity like Kate's was earlier, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"They should have. You are ten times better than her. No one lets you show that." She says, I nod agreeing with her but stop at a thought, looking at her in confusion.

"How do you know that I'm better? I've barely played this season. Hell I've barely played at all." I question. She retracts her hand, a blush growing on her cheeks as she turns her head away avoiding eye contact.

"Oh…Uh…" She stutters, I chuckle. Feeling bold I use my finger to turn her head to face me again. We both are silent as we look at each other. The sound of the buzzer from behind breaks us apart. "Sorry." She says pulling back.

"Sorry." I repeat. She chuckles but steps back fully pointing to the court.

"I should get back. My team will be looking for me." It's then I notice she is wearing a UConn uniform.

Number 35.

"Oh uh yeah! It was nice talking to you Azzi." I say giving her a smile. She returns one placing her hand on my shoulder.

"You too. I can’t wait to see you play." She says before moving past me and back to the court. I pull out my phone glancing at it in my hand before making a split second decision. I turn after her leaving my bag on the ground.

"Azzi!" I call, she stops turning to look at me confused. I hold out my phone. " Could I get your number? I'd love to get to know you more." I say with more confidence than I feel. She smiles and nods taking my phone into her hand. She quickly enters her information before handing it back to me.

"Be sure to call me Clark." She says leaning up to press a kiss to my cheek before turning and running to the court. I bring my hand up to my cheek a dopey smile on my face. I look down at my phone smiling wider if possible at the contact name Azzi put for herself.

Future Girlfriend ❤️

I turn to leave the stadium grabbing my bag on the way. A smile on my face as I feel even more confident in my decision. A decision I should have made 2 years ago.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

you said

I'll admit, these days I'm a bit disconnected from the fandom and don't keep up with jikook and/or BTS as much as I used to,

pardon my impertinence but what happened? me myself i don't feel safe in the fandom anymore but i still stay for jikook. what made you disconnected from bts and the fandom when you used to be one of the most prolific army writers here? i know your work got busy but is that the only thing? forgive my impertinence again but you don't even look excited about jikook some times. i've sent you many asks about ays and jikook that you haven't answered. you don't have to answer but i miss your perspectives and if there's a reason you don't feel connected to army or bts or jikook anymore i hope you can share it with us.

*

Ask 2:

I miss you around here BPP. My asks about BTS and jikook have gone unanswered for what feels like months and while I know your work has gotten very busy I still selfishly want you back here with us being active.

I hope you're well and haven't forgotten about us your tumblr fam 😭

***

I'm still here guys. But I'll take this ask to rant and ramble and hopefully answer all related questions about the future of BPP.

(Anon in ask 2, I'm sorry to you and everyone who still frequents this blog because, well...)

Idk what to say except that I can't fake it. I can't fake enthusiasm when I feel none. Is this so shocking? I mean, y'all have to be a bit fatigued as well, no?

I've been in the fandom for something like 10 years, and lately nothing here has changed except for the worse - the predictable kind - the sort I've been talking about since I opened this blog five years ago.

Just this past week, I logged onto Twitter and saw --

Discourse about how Yoongi limping meant he has liver disease.

People talking about how a mentally ill (untreated but employed) diet solo wrote a fan fiction book about Jungkook and is selling it for US$25 + tax.

Discourse about Jungkook's painted nails - some people reaching past Timbuktu to explain why his nail colours couldn't possibly have anything to do with jikook, while another part of the fandom talking about nothing else except that his nail colours are proof jikook are a couple.

Taekookers claiming a 'k-source' has proof taekook fucked 69 in a hot tub in Gangnam as soon as they completed military service and left the BigHit building last month.

Chartmys already drawing up goals for the PTD live album and pegging it against solo album achievements.

Taesoothe and her crew of shooters oscillating between dragging other groups/fandoms and defending Bang Sihyuk as more allegations come out.

Excessive levels of fangirling bordering on outright obsessive worship of any of the members...

Among the myriad of solo filth, conspiracies, discourse, and overall braindead chatter that's normal for k-pop fandoms. And not just in the usual insane pockets of ARMY twitter, but in (previously) somewhat 'normal' ARMY spaces as well...

The discourse is tired and so predictable you can set your watch to it. By this point, we know all the players, the teams, and the tactics. None of this 'discourse' is new and I've written my fair share of posts getting into the weeds with everyone else. I'm not saying this to claim I'm better than anyone else, just that before I didn't mind digging into this discourse because a lot of people were new to k-pop/BTS/jikook and genuinely didn't really understand how things work here.

Also, BTS was releasing good music, actually good music, and that made spending time in this madhouse tolerable to tell you the truth. The last time I liked anything released by BTS was Mona Lisa, which wasn't too long ago tbf, but the last time I loved anything released was RPWP. Over a year ago. That's the fuel that's kept me coming here, kept me logging into Tumblr, Twitter, and k-forums... and I'm overdue for a refueling.

When I say the main reason I stanned BTS and remain involved with all this is the music, I really do mean it. The members are good people, I care for jikook, Joon, Hobi, Jin, Tae, and Yoongi, but the main reason I give them my money, attention, and invest in the fandom and in their company is the music they make. If that starts going to shit, nobody could pay me enough to continue giving a fuck. I'll likely liquidate my investment in HYBE and cash out.

Respectfully.

All this to say, I'm still here... not jumping ship yet.

I see your asks and I try to answer a few (lately I've been trying to be more consistent out of respect for the followers that still somehow come to this cobwebbed patch of the internet), but I also don't feel interested (or fueled) enough to actively engage the way I used to. Not even the most explicit jikookery in AYS2 will change how I feel if there's no decent music on the back of it. I guess this settles the question on if I'm really a jikooker after all lmao.

Anyway, I'm here still kinda answering asks and patiently holding out until the guys release new music, maybe later this year and definitely next year. Cautiously watching and hoping that Scooter's fingerprint is on as few songs as possible because at this point, I've seen what he can deliver and want none of it.

*

In the meantime, to answer the asks about AYS2 the fact is I'm not all that excited and this should be unsurprising for older followers of my blog given what I've said before about BTS auxiliary content like SOOP or, more recently, AYS. I like jikook so I'll probably still watch it and might even love it, but until it comes out I have nothing to say about it. I have no hopes or expectations or wishlists for AYS because it's not the sort of content that appeals to me anyway. I'd feel a bit differently if it was a GCF, but editorially and functionally, it's not. So there's that.

[ruleroftheimps]

Funny enough, I like the fact that mainly the Sam comment got a negative response.

Whatever first, confession: This was 90% written the way it was bc I wanted to see how ragey people get over certain things so. It's my own version of an internet test.

And also I specified 'my opinion' on 'characters and controversial topics'. Logically, that should stand to mean it only applies to me and it's okay to have different opinions bc we all respect each other's opinions here? Right? That's a thing?

Anyways, context bc you insisted. (and also ig bc they did in the replies @oyedeng and @red-balloon12- which, kudos to red ballon for actually asking in a semi-neutral way)

Oh, and I'd like to request, if you want to retaliate, hit every single point bc according to you they're all 'bad takes'.

Loki needed a hug and was a victim as well as a villain. -> I can go on about this, but to put it short, a lot of Loki's arc was centered around loneliness. If he had at any point had his pain acknowledged- and it didn't have to be necessarily done in a way to say he was innocent just acknowledging he was hurt as well- it's highly likely he wouldn't have gone off the deep end in Thor/Avengers. Of course, he's still a VILLAIN, he hurt people, but if given a support system, it's highly likely he wouldn't have.

Stark and Steve were both right; but Steve kept a secret he shouldn't have and was wrong for that. -> Ref to Civil War, both sides were right to some extent and had understandable reasons for their actions, but Steve kept the fact that the Winter Soldier killed Tony's parents on the down low when he shouldn't have.

Tony trying to kill Bucky was understandable but not excusable. -> Pretty self-explanatory. It's not excusable to attempt murder at all- but you CAN understand where he's coming from, it's not him being a villain or edgy or anything. I'd argue it's not even really an overreaction. (Found out his mom was in fact murdered + somebody he considers a close friend knew that and hid it from him to protect the killer = strong emotions = bad outcome. Still not excusable tho)

Mobius and the TVA hurt others bc they'd been used and abused. -> Eh, self-explanatory. They pruned entire timelines, which is basically murder indirectly (Because they only died when Alioth eat them/somebody else ate them), because they had been manipulated by HWR into thinking it's the best option.

She-Hulk sucks as a character. -> AS A CHARACTER, she has less of a full-feeling arc TO ME. I feel a big part of Hulk in general (Hulk and Red-Hulk) was about the fear of losing control and hurting others/self-loathing, while She-Hulk just has a cool alt skin and super strength so it wasn't my favorite. She had other issues, they just weren't as relatable.

So does Captain Marvel. -> Tbh, this one was more the writing didn't make her feel like a threat, we were more told she's the most powerful.

Yelena and Kate were an amazing pass down of legacy. -> They were, idk what else to say, they had ties to the OG six and fill the roles well. I love them.

Bucky shouldn't be a politician. -> Just felt off to me why he's a politician all of a sudden. Again, I haven't watched Thunderbolts* so i don't know if it's highly relevent there, but in TFATWS and Cap 4, if he has to be one, they didn't set it up that way at all. In TFATWS he was dealing w/ issues and then suddenly he's a politician (And I know there was a time jump but still)

Sam's not a bad Captain America- he IS a bad friend. -> And the biggy ig. Sam rubbed me as the wrong way as Cap several times because he's VERY dismissive of Bucky's past and trauma while being far more sympathetic to the villains, although I liked him as Cap in Brave New World. I understand it makes sense for Sam's character to be sympathetic, I feel as though he wasn't as sympathetic to Bucky, making comments about WS, killing machine, etc (and that kind of almost personally attacking comments was largely one-sided for the show (IE, Sam gets called wingman iirc, not like. Murderer.)), when Bucky was shown to still be dealing w/ guilt over it/not in a good headspace. While Bucky does eventually come around to apologize to Sam, Sam never truly apologizes. In addition, Sam, similar to Raynor, seems to treat Bucky = Winter Soldier, like he should be held accountable (Because they're pushing Bucky to 'make amends'. He CAN apologize to them, but he needs to have his trauma cared for first. Sam's a good friend to OTHER people (Torres, Isaiah, Sarah, etc.) so perhaps a general 'bad friend' wasn't the best choice, but he wasn't exactly the right term, but he wasn't the greatest friend to Bucky. (And yes, I'm aware a good part of that could come from the actors' dynamic, where they're ribbing on each other, it just felt out of place in the show because of Bucky's headspace) I LIKE their dynamic I just felt it was one-sided for a while, esp. compared to Isaiah and Torres w/ Sam. Not saying he wasn't empathetic and/or helpful, just that he wasn't the greatest overall. And that IS a big part bc of poor writing, but once writing flaws hit the screen, they’re canon. Again, Sam's not a bad character, or Bucky's innocent in this (Bucky's overall a good friend tho bc he apologizes/is loyal to a fault, so that's why he didn't get a comment), and their dynamic is fun, but it was written poorly and in a way that makes Sam seem lack empathy to Bucky.

Captain America's as a whole seem to have a trend of being bad friends to Bucky when it matters most. -> See above and below

Steve should have died in Endgame, not gone back in time. -> If the whole POINT in him going back in time to return the stones was to prevent an alternate timeline, this makes no sense. In addition, it seems he didn't do what Sam did for Isaiah (IE, clear his friend of the charges bc he was used like a tool and had no control) for Bucky, so. That's fun. And I get they wanted him written out, so he should have died bc I don't think he'll retire if in peak shape.

Sylki was a cool ship in theory, horrible in practice, and Sylvie had no gd character arc. -> It represented self-love, cool. I still didn't like it bc personal taste. And Sylvie had no arc, she remained pretty stagnant in her 'personal freedom > all, fuck the consequences' mindset. The only amount of growth she had was not killing Viktor Timely, which yay! But still, she never moved beyond that core mindset so she had minimal growth, which was sad because she could have been a cool character too.

Odin's an asshole./Thor is an asshole BECAUSE Odin raised him that way./Loki and Hela too tbh. -> They all line up. Odin's an asshole, yes, that's pretty clear based on how he acts in TDW, and also hiding Hela, and also his punishments for his kids and how they vary WILDLY for pretty much the same thing (They all tried to destroy Jötunheim. It makes sense Thor had the lightest sentence bc he didn't have anything else. Yet Hela did more than Loki in trying to conquer all nine realms not just Earth and yet Loki only barely escaped a death sentence while Hela got locked up. I can expand more on this too tbh)

Frigga is a B parent at BEST. -> Bc she was complicit in most/all Odin did.

Loki and Thor need writers who actually watched the past movies/shows and know their damn arcs (All of the characters do tbh, but these two have it. So bad.) -> Not sure how this is a bad take, but okay ig? Thor just gets a lot of regression and Loki's arc feels inconsistent at places.

Clint got done dirty by the writers/plot lines and so did Bruce. (They/their arcs got forgotten/never existed, it felt like.) -> I explained this one a bit, they didn't get the most complete arcs in the movies. (Bruce got flattened into Smart hulk, and Clint just gets forgotten a lot from what I've seen)

Bucky got done SO dirty he deserves his own point. -> His trauma got glazed over/used as a plot point. Which, consistent for Marvel, but still, give him a good therapist please.

Ditto for Loki. -> I'm just biased, I love him, but he also can't have a happy ending (Died in Movies timeline right after fixing his relationship w/ Thor, and then in the series he befriended ppl and grew and is now alone forever.)

And Loki's asexual/non-divergent fight me. (Pure wishful thinking, but still) -> Just a silly headcannon I yeeted in here bc why not.

Kinda felt like doing a speed run of my opinion on Marvel characters + some fandom controversies I've seen (Including things I've seen most mainstream fans love that are also things more niche fans HATE) w/ zero context for any of them. I might expand more on this later, but eh, whatever. Kinda curious to see if people agree sooo. Tell me lol. But here we go ig.

And yes I'm aware I'm a bit late but whatever. (I've been watching the MCU for YEARS I'm just late to joining the fandom)

Loki needed a hug and was a victim as well as a villain.

Stark and Steve were both right; but Steve kept a secret he shouldn't have and was wrong for that.

Tony trying to kill Bucky was understandable but not excusable.

Mobius and the TVA hurt others bc they'd been used and abused.

She-Hulk sucks as a character.

So does Captain Marvel.

Yelena and Kate were an amazing pass down of legacy.

Bucky shouldn't be a politician.

Sam's not a bad Captain America- he IS a bad friend.

Captain America's as a whole seem to have a trend of being bad friends to Bucky when it matters most.

Steve should have died in Endgame, not gone back in time.

Sylki was a cool ship in theory, horrible in practice, and Sylvie had no gd character arc.

Odin's an asshole.

Thor is an asshole BECAUSE Odin raised him that way.

Loki and Hela too tbh.

Frigga is a B parent at BEST.

Loki and Thor need writers who actually watched the past movies/shows and know their damn arcs (All of the characters do tbh, but these two have it. So bad.)

Clint got done dirty by the writers/plot lines and so did Bruce. (They/their arcs got forgotten/never existed, it felt like.)

Bucky got done SO dirty he deserves his own point.

Ditto for Loki.

And Loki's asexual/non-divergent fight me. (Pure wishful thinking, but still)

[afniel]

I am seized with a burning and sudden need to Get Super Weird With It except I'm also going to meet my partner's other side of the family soon and if I happen to Get Even Slightly Weird With It where they can see it, I will probably get to experience being the butt of uncle jokes, so I cannot do that right now.

But the moment nobody is looking I'm going to be so goddamn bizarre on purpose and who's going to stop me? No one. Definitely not me.

(And maybe I'll declare Fuck It We Ball and paint my nails anyway. Who give a shit. Well, unless my partner specifically doesn't want me to do that, in which case I guess I'll take it off again before meeting anybody.)

[vaguely-concerned]

the fucking insane and inscrutable rituals my dad and I just had to perform to save my TV from its own bad software update to the point that it looked like a complete hardware breakdown. may whoever decided that TVs should need internet access to regularly update itself lest you end up in a 'oh so you won't have 'download new updates automatically' enabled? well well... that's your own choice of course... but........ be a shame if something............ unfortunate were to... happen...... because of that choice... hehe old papa LGTV just worries about you, y'know. as your good friend and pal. just hate to think of you unhappy like that because you wouldn't allow one such simple thing... something so easy to remedy....' mafia-esque situation step upon an unbroken path of legos for the rest of their fucking life

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[pennedinblood]

as of ten minutes ago we are officially Jobless™️. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi

[smile-files]

i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)

[cosmogyros]

.

[maryasmorevna]

twice in less than 2 pages..... tolstoj sir i beg you ENOUGH with this pregnancy propaganda 😭😭😭

[koa-z]

ah it occurs to me that I cannot create replies to posts due to whatever's happened. It's likely that i can then also not see replies to my posts, if any have occurred. If they have, that would be why I haven't replied

[daxite]

yeah i think i've fully come to terms with the fact that i'm 100% somewhere on the ace spectrum lol

[secondbeatsongs]

Food Crime: Frosty the Slawman

so a while ago, I saw this photo going around on tumblr:

at first, I thought this was photoshopped. I mean, "welcome new man in your life"? that feels like a translation error, or someone being silly on purpose.

but guess what! turns out, Frosty Slaw Man is real!

and soon...he will be mine. let's get cooking

(full disclosure: I crafted this snowman and took notes about it over a year ago. and then, like with many things in my life, I forgot about him, and let him drift into the ADHD void of Things I'm Not Currently Staring At, where object permanence is tentative and largely unrealized.

but here we are! and here he is: the slaw man. it's time to share him with you, so that you can suffer as I have suffered, and/or rejoice in my gelatin creation!)

so this recipe photo originally came from Mid-Century Menu (archive link), a blog that seems like one after my own heart, and which once tried to make the Slaw Man (with not much success; but we'll get back to that)! but it's not just that blog that has copies of this ad. I also found it on reddit, and in a few different places on ebay!

lookit that guy! he's a real guy!

both the reddit post and some of the ebay listings say that this is from 1963 (though I haven't been able to figure out which magazines it was printed in, to confirm this for myself). but in looking this up, I discovered something else fun! there's another version of this ad!

Best Foods is what Hellmann's stuff is called on the west coast, and the "this is no place for second best" thing makes a lot more sense when you consider that the ad was probably made for Best Foods first, and then just reused and rebranded for the east coast

the more you know!

anyway the benefit of finding this alternate ad is that the scan on this image is a lot clearer, and so the recipe is more readable! and in looking at it, I've realized something important:

when Mid-Century Menu tried this recipe, they got an ingredient amount wrong.

when they made their beloved Slaw Man, they had the water amount written down as 1/4 cup, but looking at this scan up close, it is actually 3/4 cup of water! something that might make a significant difference, considering we're working with gelatin!

(there's also another change I want to make compared to what they did, when I do this recipe. but we'll get into that in a sec.)

for now: we begin

so. there's no way I'm making a Slaw Man this large. I am just one person, and considering the ingredients of this, I don't think I'm going to be able to consume that much Slaw.

two entire heads of cabbage? three pounds of cottage cheese, a thing that I don't even like to eat? no. that's a bad idea.

so I'm starting small here and making this 1/3 the size of the original:

2 packets of unflavored gelatin 1/4 cup cold water 1 cup mayo 1 tsp salt 1lb cottage cheese 4 cups shredded cabbage

surely this will result in a reasonable amount of Man

...okay, I started chopping the cabbage thinking it would be easier, but I've given up and pulled out a grater. this is much better! and somehow more violent (affectionate)

the recipe says to soften the gelatin in cold water, and then stir over hot water until it's dissolved. I'm going to assume "stir over hot water" means a double boiler, so let's do that

hmmm, the gelatin is very foamy? it’s melted, but the bottom of the pot feels really....sticky

okay. after a couple minutes more and no change, I’m calling this good enough.

so one thing that others who have attempted this recipe have not taken into consideration is the cottage cheese. you see, the others used normal cottage cheese, but the recipe says to use "cottage cheese, cream style"

I’ll be real, I’m not 100% what that means, since we don’t have that here. but I can take an educated guess! so let’s blend the cottage cheese!

(with an immersion blender. I am not willing to wash an actual blender because of this)

mmm, yes. very smooth

...actually. why isn't all cottage cheese like this? the thing I hate about cottage cheese is the texture, so why isn't it all smooth and creamy like this?? I could eat this!!

a new discovery is made every day in this house.

okay, time to start mixing things together.

ah, frosty. I opened a whole new thing of mayo for you! do you feel special?

(I'd make a "pre-dinner snack?" joke, but sometimes I think I'm the only one that remembers Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time)

okay, the mayo, cottage cheese, and salt have been added to the gelatin. but as this cools, the texture is getting...hmm. less than appealing.

lastly: the cabbage

oh. oh this is not very nice

next it says to pack the "salad" into a one pound container, and two six-cup bowls, but since I made this recipe so much smaller, I'm going to uhhhh. uh. find some bowls that seem like they'd be correct...snowman? proportions?

ah. this bowl is too big.

hey, these'll work!

now I just have to let them chill for a while, and continue another day.

(edit from current!me: ahhh oh my god I forgot this was pretty soon after we adopted Jackie! look at these cat pics that I took while I was food crime-ing!

look at them having their little interactions! Knuckles was trying so hard to be friends with her! I love them)

hello! two days later and we are ready to assemble the slawman. and my sibling has started referring to him as "frosty: attorney at slaw", so that's fun.

I've done a thing where, as these set, I flipped them around in the bowl so that hopefully they'd be more round. we'll see if they actually stay like this.

I have also made some decorations for him out of peppers, olives, and carrots!

let's build our boy

oh he's so heavy. and wobbly

no no no he almost fell over!!

okay. he's fine. but more skewers were needed.

and...okay. he is complete.

behold!

gaze upon my beautiful man!

(he is not structurally sound! he wobbles unsteadily as I rotate him! there are already cracks forming in the gelatin around where his arms are! don't worry about it!)

 now it's time to stab him

and...to devour him

this tastes like...a bland coleslaw? and not even that. it's just sort of a salty, cottage cheese-y cabbage. the ingredients don't combine to become something greater, they simply...sit there. like this.

and the texture is...mmm. it's not a jello kind of texture, but it is a bit squashy in a way that's mildly strange.

it's very creamy once it softens in your mouth.

...I don't like this!

and look! taking just that one chunk from him was enough to destabilize him entirely :(

RIP frosty. now I just have to see if I can eat all of you before you go bad.

(note from current!me: I could not.

 I ate maybe half of him over the course of many days, often adding other stuff to him to try to add some flavor: bacon, frozen peas, cheese, etc. but even with that, I just couldn't stomach him.

after a while I stuck what was left of him in the freezer, hoping that maybe I'd find the will to consume the rest of him some other day.

do you know what a frozen-and-then-thawed mixture of cabbage, cottage cheese, mayo, and gelatin looks and tastes like?

bad. the answer is: bad.

I threw him out pretty quickly after thawing him.

do not try this recipe at home)

[poguehearted77]

Winter's Chance

Summary: It's Rafe's turn to have your son for the weekend, but it seems the weather wants you to spend the holidays together.

--Finally some Baby Daddy Rafe

With delicate rubs to your son's tummy, you desperately tried to get him to calm down with soft pleads and overeager soothing. He'd been fussing all day, so much that you'd called the doctor to make sure everything was okay.

They simply reassured you that it may just be a prolonged stage of fussiness. Most babies grow out of it around 4 months which is exactly where Max had just reached a few weeks ago.

Just when he was finally beginning to calm for a moment your ears are filled with the chime of your doorbell. Max picks up his crying as if he had never stopped. Your eyes roll, already knowing who is on the other side of the door.

You gently scooped him up to rest over your shoulder on top of the little binkie you tend to have thrown over your shoulder at all times for moments like this. He was cute, but the spit-up was never pretty and you were always prepared.

Opening the door from a distance you weren't expecting to see Rafe step in partially covered in snow. It distracted you momentarily before Max's cries cut through the shock.

"I know, I know." You whine, gently rocking him, backing away from the cold air that swept against your feet. "Hurry up, and close the door." His eyes roll, "Hello to you too." He closes the door and stomps off the snow from his boots before stepping out of them and hanging up his jacket.

"Woah, woah, what are you doing? This is just a pick-up, then you can have fun trying to calm him down at your place." Rafe stands still, his thumb gesturing to the door behind him, "You haven't seen the news, have you? They're closing the roads, so we're snowed in. The only reason I made it here is because of the suspension on my truck."

Your face turns sour and Max continues to cry.

"So why did you come in the first place if you knew you wouldn't be able to make it back?" He ignores your question for the most part, "Relax, baby. As excited as you are to see me, I didn't come for you. I came for my son. There he is," Rafe's expression lights up as he reaches for Max and takes him out of your hold.

"Rafe you can't just take him and expect him to calm-"

For the first time in seven hours, silence consumes the room. No more screams and tearful cries. "You've got to be fucking with me," You don't say it loudly, but Rafe still hears.

"Guess he was just missin' his daddy, huh? Isn't that right, Max?" Rafe's tone is playful as he pokes at Max's tummy which elicits tiny giggles and the brightest smile you'd seen all day.

You walk away, headed towards the kitchen. Not sure why you were moving so fast, Rafe was hot on your heels. "It's not your fault, it's probably just been a long day-" He finally shuts the fuck up with his smug remarks when he hears a soft cry, "Y/n," Your name rolls off his tongue, tender and sweet. "Baby, what's wrong?" Effortlessly, he supports Max with one hand while he reaches to turn you so you're facing him.

Your eyes are filled with tears, lips quivering ever so slightly and he knows what's coming. He's seen you like this more times than he can count. He takes you under his arm, your cheek pressed to his chest and you break down, muttering into the fabric of his hoodie.

He comforts you with a big hand rubbing your back, soothing you the way he learned from those parenting books that he swear he never read. "It's so hard, Rafe." Is all you manage to say through broken cries for the first five minutes before you're pushing off him, expression more angry than upset? "He was crying all day, and the second you walk in, he's perfectly fine."

Rafe's lips frown, puzzled. "And that's a bad thing?--"

"Yes! Why do you get to be Superman?!" Earlier, the sound of a pin drop would disturb Max from calming, but now even your exclamations left him unfazed, as long as he was in Rafe's arms he was unbothered.

As a matter of fact, with a second glance, you notice he'd actually fallen asleep. Just Perfect. Another win for Superman.

He chuckles, leading you both to have a seat on the couch. Your son sleeping soundly in his father's hold. "Well, I think I've got the abs for it." His shit-eating grin spreads across his lips.

"You try carrying a baby in your stomach for nine months, and you tell me if you still have abs after." Subtly, his tongue wets his lips at the memory, "All I remember is how good you looked pregnant. Shit, wanna do it again?" You'd never wanted to hurt someone so badly.

"You're lucky you're holding my son." He scoffs, leaning in slightly as if to speak away from the baby. "I seem to remember the two of us going half on the conception, and a few times after that." You air-swat him and stand, making your way for the stairs. "I'm going to take a nap."

The hours flew by as you finally had your first uninterrupted nap in what felt like years. By the time you woke up, the sun was long gone, and there was a thick layer of fresh snow sitting on your window pane. You headed downstairs and stopped at the bottom of the steps to appreciate the view.

Nothing melted you quite like the sight of Rafe taking care of Max. You hated to admit it, but he was a good dad. A really good one. Hot, too. Rafe held the bottle to Max's lips, murmuring some undistinguishable babbles with a soft smile. Surely speaking a language only the two of them can understand.

"I hope you warmed the bottle before you gave it to him." You say, and he finally notices you standing by the stairs, stalking your way over and sitting beside him.He ignores you, knowing that you're just trying to get under his skin. "You look well rested." He remarks and you sigh with a soft nod. "Yeah, I am actually." He grins to himself, "Must be a miracle to sleep well on that cheap-ass mattress you got up there."

"Sorry, we can't all have premium mattresses." Rafe pulls the bottle back once he realizes Max has had his fill. "Y'know my money is your money right? I give you ten thousand a month but everything I have is yours, too." Standing him up on his lap first, Rafe holds the baby over his shoulder, gently patting his back.

"Well, I don't need to live in a fifteen thousand sq ft house to be happy unlike you." He shakes his head slowly, his gaze falls on you, somber. "I seem happy to you? I don't give a shit how big my place is. It's always going to be empty without you two in it... " He trails off, alluding there's more to come.

"Rafe.. What are you saying?"

"Move in with me, again." Your head shakes before you sputter profuse denials, "No, Rafe, we can't we tried that before remember? We don't get along. Technically, we're not even together." The conversation is briefly interrupted by a small gurgled burp on Max's behalf.

Rafe leans down to place a drowsy Max in his rocker in front of the couch before sitting back up. "Things were different then, we were eighteen. I can't do the back-and-forth anymore. Don't you wanna wake up in the morning, see that Max is taken care of and I'm making you breakfast, then we go back to bed and I take care of you? Huh?" He hums, his voice igniting sparks along the length of your neck as he nosed along it.

"Rafe.." your voice is shaky, feeling the heat from the discussion.

"Whadd'ya say, hm?" You reflect, having Rafe stay with you today, in just a few short hours you'd been able to take a break, he held you when you cried like he always did. You'd hardly even fought. Though that was no surprise, the two of you fought considerably less ever since Max came into the picture.

"Okay, yes." You can feel the lines from his smile stretch against your jaw just before he begins to pepper kisses on your cheek. "Y'know, we made the world's cutest baby ever right?" You smile, both your gazes focused on the little one before you.

"He's got your eyes, for sure." Rafe states and you giggle, "You're just saying that because they're brown." He sits up straight, heartfully disagreeing. "I'm not. They're the same eyes that I fell in love with when I first laid my eyes on you, and the same ones that humbled me when they looked up at me for the first time in the NICU."

His words were touching. You're seeing a whole new side of him. Not the usually hot-headed and impulsive man you were used to. This one was sweeter, softer, and more sincere.

You reeled him in for the first kiss, his lips soft as they pressed against yours, his hands confidently holding you at your waist. "Ah, I see you're taking me up on my previous offer. Let's go for a girl this time, yeah?" He grins, and you pinch him.