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catsvrsdogscatswin · 3 years ago

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Hellsing Commentary 1 Notes

This commentary is done by Taliesin Jaffe, the voice director and script adapter of Hellsing, and Crispin Freeman, the voice of Alucard. Direct quotes may vary in accuracy, as these are written down from audio without transcripts. I also didn't write down every joke or piece of trivia because I feel like people who watch the commentaries should get to have some nice surprises for stuff that isn't covered here.

-Taliesin jokes that Hellsing Ultimate is very Hammer-film/horror-film and should have a smell-o-vision. "Scratch and sniff a little red dot every time someone dies, oohhh it smells of dead meat."

-Both Taliesin and Crispin pause mid-conversation to approvingly mention how Integra's younger VA "gets shot well" when she screams.

-The reason Taliesin took the job directing the dub in the first place was because he was a big fan of the manga.

-Taliesin is very pleased with Ultimate's title card because "if you're gonna quote the Ripley Scroll, you're gonna do it right." He has also seen Fullmetal Alchemist at some point.

-Taliesin owns occult books, including (possibly) a fifth printing of Dracula, and the first time they dubbed Hellsing, Taliesin read "every vampire book I could get my hands on" to get a feel for the theme and idea of the series, "looking into the origins of the story and what the creators originally were thinking about..."

-Crispin repeatedly states that he could listen to Integra's VA all day long. "I don't have to do a whole lot of acting when she orders me around, I just sort of respond to her voice and do whatever she says." (Ending in a giggling laugh)

-Taliesin acknowledges that the theme, concept, and structure of Ultimate are all very different from the TV series. The original anime was trying to be a very serious horror film in which everything was taken very seriously, whereas with Ultimate they eased up and interjected more humor.

-Crispin also adds that he could listen to JB Blanc (Maxwell/the Cheddar vampire's VA) all day as well.

-Taliesin likes to annoy his British friends (including JB Blanc) by saying incredibly British words in the thickest American accent he can manage, i.e. bloody hell, scones, clotted cream, bugger, etc.

-JB's performance for the Cheddar vampire was "camped up" significantly and turned into a "mustache-twirling villain" for Ultimate.

-Crispin wants Alucard's glowing sunglasses.

-Crispin and Taliesin joke that Alucard's cravat is the source of his power, since everything else goes (glasses, coat, hat) when he's been shot to pieces but the cravat always stays.

-Hirano has met with Taliesin Jaffe on multiple occasions and been "very nice and deeply apologetic" about various issues. He was also incredulous that Talisen translated some of the symbols involved in the series. "'You actually deciphered that thing? Oh good god, what's wrong with you?! You're not supposed to do that. Stop!'"

-Apparently OVA 1 was recorded in a day and the production as a whole was only five days.

-When the cast came back to do Hellsing Ultimate, Crispin had to make sure that he did not just repeat what he did four years prior. His prior experience with the TV series was useful to get into the character's head/mindset, but Ultimate was an entirely different take. The original TV series was very serious and wanted to be taken seriously, but Ultimate had many campy elements to it. Crispin thus had to stay in the moment with Ultimate and not bring back his performance from the original anime, as it wouldn't fit. ("Same texture, new architecture.")

-Taliesin states that he likes the relationship Seras and Alucard have in Ultimate a lot better than their relationship in the TV series and "the sexual tension has been cut down between the two of you. We've matched you properly against Integra now, where it should be."

-Taliesin has apparently read Hellsing fanfiction on Livejournal and knows "far more about the personal lives of all these characters than I ever wanted to know."

-Taliesin played the male vampire during Seras and Alucard's first mission.

-Crispin noted that Alucard is doing "the same cross thing with my arms that Anderson does, but in the opposite direction on the opposite side of the body." Alucard does it up and to the left and Anderson does it down and to the right.

-Japanese anime apparently tend to have poor gunshot sounds and every engineer Taliesin has ever worked with has gone "we're going to a shooting range with a microphone, this is pathetic." He also knows someone out in Texas who bought an old broken-down Chevy truck and was planning to take it out and shoot it to pieces for audio clips with some specialized equipment so he could get the gunshot sound, the passing sound, the impact sound, etc. for use in anime

-Apparently Taliesin took a lot of cues from Doctor Who in scripting Hellsing.

-Seras's accent was simplified in Ultimate because Taliesin learned his lesson not to be too complicated. In the original anime, it was supposed to be "this fake posh" accent from an ultra low-class girl faking it to fit in with the rest of Hellsing, which Crispin teases Taliesin for. In Ultimate they apparently gave her a "South London roll," which is "simple and easy and uncomplicated."

-Crispin loves how Anderson is "really dangerous" in Ultimate and "could actually cause me many problems" in ways that Crispin never got a sense of in the TV series. He was an obstacle to Alucard, but in Ultimate he is "a threat on a level that Alucard wasn't expecting." Taliesin jumps in at this point and comments how in the manga (and Ultimate) they made him into a polar energy for Alucard, and Anderson is a "chaotic force of order coming in to homogenize and to destroy all that does not -that conflicts with this very narrow worldview that he holds. And it's sort of his mission in life, is to sanitize and, and homogenize –and then you have Alucard, who's this very…the very forces of chaos unbound on earth, and his power manifests as wild multiple-eyed dogs and Cthulhu creatures and shadow power and gnashing teeth of hell, and it's very…it's very much about a loss of control. And his whole character's powers comes from this place of a loss of control, which is almost where he goes every time he has to push a little farther, is how much control can he lose?" He says that this creates a very good archvillain/archrival relationship and continues on to say that "They agree on nothing past the fact that they want less people to be eaten by vampires."

-Crispin makes fun about how they must be pulling their ammunition from the fourth dimension, since neither he nor Seras switch clips that often. While joking about the guns, Taliesin mentions how Schrodinger will show up in the future and Crispin innocently asks if he has a cat.

-Crispin later jokes about how he dresses "nice and fresh and English-patient-y" at cons and it surprises a lot of people. He also apparently had an Alucard costume for Anime Expo/Comic Con in San Diego, and nobody believed he was the official voice actor.

-Crispin asks why Taliesin thinks Hellsing is as popular as it is/was, and after some thought Taliesin tentatively answers that "Every generation has its vampire myth. The vampire myth is one of those wonderful myths that constantly reinvents itself -every ten-fifteen years, it makes itself relevant somehow…What it is that attracts people in this decade to vampires is this chaos and control, and the uh…the fun of it, I'm not quite sure, I-I can't quite peg it. Its funny, considering that I sit and do nothing but sit and think of ways to express it better all the time for the show." He notes later in the commentary that "This was the first conversation we had when we first started working on this years ago. Vampires are about sex. Sigmund Freud wrote a wonderful article way back in the day, back in the 19th century, about vampires as metaphors for sexual frustration and how they play out."

-On the topic of chaos and control, Taliesin comments that Alucard and Anderson also mirror each other in a very yin-yang sense, with Alucard tending to be more controlled with himself and Anderson tending to be "a little bit more all over the place" when he fights. Alucard's ideology is also all over the place, whereas Anderson's is straight, and "Anderson's power comes from these very fine silver blades and his bible while Alucard's comes from the depths of Cthulhu and these creatures before language."

-Taliesin apologizes for anyone who was hoping for Anderson to be Italian (or German). He says that "there's an actual process to this," and he looked up if there had ever been an actual Father Alexander Anderson. There have been several, apparently, one of whom was Scottish, and one of whom actually worked on the creation of the Eusebian canon, which were the papers Anderson was using for barriers/wards in the original TV series. (He apparently uses "the whole bible now" in Ultimate.) The pages of the Eusebian canon are also apparently now 200 dollars a pop, and antique dealers get "a little worried" when they think someone is buying a 400-year-old illuminated manuscript because of a cartoon.

-Taliesin notes that Integra not only has a classic Templar sword hilt, but she is actually a Grand High Arc, and that this may (he also notes that this is him "just making excuses for the manga" and not canon) be why she is Sir and not Dame, as the Templars apparently do not have female Grand High Arcs. "They're Freemasons, they don't do that sort of thing. So she's a Sir Hellsing, 'cause she's gotta be. They made her a male knight so she could take over the family properly."

-Integra is "a bit more amused" in Ultimate, and Taliesin once again adds that the biggest change in Ultimate was that all of the characters have more humor and "Everybody says everything with just a slight grin."

-Taliesin apparently has pages and pages of research notes that really helped for the first series but were almost useless for Ultimate because all the characters were coming from such a new place. Anderson is much more sedate, Walter is less of a smart ass (so far), and Alucard is also extremely different. Crispin's revelation on this specifically came while they were recording the scene where Integra asks Alucard why he turned Seras into a vampire, wherein Crispin apparently stopped and said "This is very odd." to Taliesin.

-When they first started recording the original series, Taliesin asked Crispin what he thought Alucard was about, and Crispin stated "He's bored. He's incredibly powerful, he's this aristocrat surrounded by…plebs, there's no one his equal. And all he's spoiling for is a good fight, 'cause then he won't be bored. Um…and in the TV series his way of avoiding boredom is viciousness and attacking and everything else, and here there's this side of saying 'Maybe I won't be bored if I have a plaything.' Which is really interesting, suddenly there's this sort of humorous, playful side to Alucard, and I thought 'This is odd, I don't remember doing anything like this before. Wow, he's really gonna mess with people.'"

-Crispin's grad school teacher was Romanian and since he became very good at doing a Romanian accent, it was considered at one point that Alucard would have a Romanian accent continuously (as opposed to only when he is in his Level Zero form). Crispin then proceeds to say several of Alucard's lines in that accent.

-At the end of the credits Crispin asks "Who's the girl with the fez?" about Girlycard, to which Taliesin quietly replies "We'll get into that soon."

#Hellsing #alucard (hellsing)#Alexander Anderson #Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing #Seras Victoria

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jenomark · 4 years ago

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➔Pairing: Haechan x Reader (Female) ➔Other Members/ Characters: -.- ➔Genre: Fluff ➔Warnings: Angst | Mentions of death | Cursing ➔Word count: 6,865

➔Summary: He was always yours, even before you wrote a book about him, even before he disappeared from your life after high school, and even before he broke his promise.

➔Request: can I request a drabble of haechan friends to lovers? 🥺

➔ I hope you don’t mind that I turned this into a longer story that is more on the fluff side. I felt really inspired to do so. Thanks for sending in the request! 💚

You

You hated school. Not because you weren’t serious about your studies. You liked the subjects well enough. You liked eating lunch at a table, a little package of apple slices, and a chocolate milk that always tasted like the carton it was in. You liked hanging up your coat in the coat closet, little rain droplets dripping on the wooden floor when the weather was bad. You liked your teachers and how they would encourage your love of reading. You liked all the things to like except one: school hours meant time away from him.

Him. He pulled your hair sometimes when he was bored. You cried once, your mother saying something sexist about how he must like you. Your father never paid attention, just kept watching the television. You wondered if all boys were that stupid. He also made fun of the way your nose would wiggle when you talked. He had a smart comment for everything. He thought he was smarter than you, even. There weren't many nice things to say right off the top of your head, but you loved him anyway.

During the school year, the school hours especially, you never talked to him. He was off parading around with his squad of friends, each one more pigheaded than the last. They’d act like they didn’t care about school in the schoolyard, but all of them got decent grades. Sometimes they would pick on others boys, the principal telling others that that’s just what boys did. Sometimes he would raise his hand in class and answer the right question, and even though you sat next to each other in class, he’d never look at you.

Your school life was a little different. You were off spending time hovering by doorways, wishing the days would end until you could see him again. You looked at him from the corner of your eye, a question of whether you truly knew him or not always on your tongue. You didn’t spend time pretending other people were your friends, because your best friend had always been him.

After school felt like a different time zone. Neither of you took your time with homework. You would rush, a telltale sign being poorly erased letters and crumpled papers shoved into bookbags. Usually, he would walk to your house and meet you in the tent in the backyard, talking long before he reached the entrance. He always talked about his day as if you weren’t in it. He liked to talk a lot.

“I don’t want to hear it.” you would say. “I don’t know why you’re friends with those people.”

You were both at an age where you were figuring stuff out. You fought a lot, with him storming out of your backyard tent and walking home, and you resisting the urge to follow him. There was always a phone call from his concerned mother, eased by your own mother reassuring her that you’d both work out your differences soon. You’d been best friends since you were even younger, clinging to each other only when other people weren’t looking. It was too late to make a clean break.

Summers were your favorite because you had him all to yourself. At that age, you weren’t aware that keeping him was holding him back from other things. You were all too happy to lounge on a beach with him, watching him get stuck in the sand and laughing at him until your stomach hurt. To you, it was the purest form of love.

Time made things weird, as it does. The summers you used to love started fading out. He no longer came on family trips. Instead, he went to summer camps with other thirteen-year-old boys. He would come back boasting about being taught to shave his face by the older kids, and then he would show you his new skills. Even though you were disinterested, you always watched him intensely, thinking that if he let you in to this one valuable piece of information, he would open the door to the rest. He never did.

Gradually, after-school hangouts were taken away from you, too. Your father’s only contribution to any conversation was to say that your best friend would be more interested in girls now. Even as your parents left you alone, the words of “But I’m a girl!” leaving your lips until the last light was shut off, you never really understood what it meant. In fact, it wasn’t until he flirted with someone else in front of your face that you got the hint. You were a girl, but he never thought of you that way. And he would rather spend his time after school walking to someone else’s house.

None of that was as bad as high school was. Up until then, you’d been clutching at straws to make the friendship what it once was. You made the tent bigger to accommodate his growing frame. You offered to pay for movies if he’d come alone, and you would even sit through the boring ones just for him. On the rare chance that you’d guilt trip him into staying a little longer with you, it was enough to keep you enduring. When high school truly hit, the studying took up most of your time. The scraps that were left were spent having family time, or visiting schools your mother wanted you to attend after high school.

Though he no longer ignored you in school, things had gotten harder. He was dating often, sweeping girls off their feet with his wild, charming sense of humor. It was hard for them not to get jealous of you. Though you weren’t around much, the bond you both shared was obvious to everyone who watched the pair of you together. He never really wanted to choose between his childhood best friend and someone he was seeing, but the choice was always very apparent to you.

“Maybe you should date, too,” he had said.

You shut it down quickly, appalled that he would even suggest a thing. When you realized your dismissal must have hurt his feelings, you backtracked.

“Do you have anyone in mind?” you asked.

His smile made you feel like you were on top of the world. Of course he had someone to introduce to you. Thus, the double date was born. You could tag along with him and his girlfriend, with a friend of his you eventually started dating. It wasn’t the most ideal situation, but it had rekindled something in your friendship you didn’t know you’d been missing.

He had even come around to your house more. You came home from a study group one time to see him in your childhood tent, his long legs sticking out of it. He bent his body forward, holding up a bag of snacks you recognized.

“You still sit in here?” he asked.

You sat down next to him, the plastic of the tent hitting you in the forehead. “When I need to think.”

“You have a brain?”

“Funny.” you said. “Why are you here?”

He got a far away look in his eyes, like he did whenever he was truly going to say something stupid. There were times he spoke philosophically, because deep down, he was never the stupid little boy you said he was.

“Life is moving too fast,” he said. “Remember when we were kids and it moved so slow? I would suffer waiting for summer.”

“I remember it vividly.” you said. “Are you feeling nostalgic?”

He ate some of the snacks, offering you some. When you didn’t take it, he pulled on your hair a little bit. It pulled you to wherever he was at, back in time to when things felt much easier than they were. High school was ending, and you were all walking down different paths, none of them leading back to this tent.

“I want you to promise me something.” he said. “After high school, I want us to always be best friends. This last year has made me realize how much I missed you.”

You wanted to tell him how much you missed him, to take his hand and hold it in yours. There was something in you that couldn’t do it. You just kept chewing, waiting for him to keep talking.

“Let’s promise to call each other at least once a day when we’re adults.” he said, getting this excited look in his eyes. He felt more like the real Haechan right then than he ever had in the past five years.

“Promise.” you said, holding out your pinky and getting ready to kiss your thumb.

Haechan linked his pinky with yours, his thumb connecting to your thumb. You leaned down to kiss it at the same time, your faces coming closer to each other than they had in a long time.

Sadly, after high school, the promise was never kept. The image of him walking away from your backyard was the last time you saw him in any place you called home.

~♡~

You held the phone away from your ear because it was too hot. In your other hand, you held a cold, strawberry smoothie, the condensation dripping down your fingers. The sidewalks were busy, so it was tricky trying to weave in and out of the people, all while holding an unfinished manuscript for the next book you were writing. Years of dodging kids in school hallways made you a pro. As you were about to collide with a delivery man, you spun around gracefully and avoided disaster. After taking a sip of smoothie, you brought the phone closer to your ear.

“Do people still do book signings for physical copies?” you asked. “I thought everything was about selfies now. I definitely don’t look good with the flash on.”

“Of course.” your agent told you over the phone. “I don’t think anyone over the age of existence does. How old are you?”

“Twenty-four.” you said.

Your agent on the other end sighed. “You’re too young to be worried about any of this. I’ll book you for the signing and people will come, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

You wanted to rattle off all the reasons you were freaking out over it, but you were in public. You took another sip of smoothie and looked at the manuscript tucked against your body. Twenty-four and published, with your book rising in the charts, and a second book underway. You shouldn’t be so scared to have human interactions with strangers who enjoy your work, and yet...

“Okay.” you said, closing your eyes for a moment.” Okay, you can do it. I don’t know why I get like this. Seriously, you’re the best.”

“I know. I know.” your agent said. “Take a bath and relax. Call me later.”

You hung up and threw your phone in the deep recesses of your bag. Your one hand was wet, and you didn’t want it touching the papers, so you tucked them deeper against your body and kept on walking.

~♡~

“A book signing. Can you believe it?” you said into the phone. There was no answer on the other end, not even a little static. You walked a little slower on the sidewalk, letting the outside world disappear from your vision. You took a deep breath. “I sold so many copies, mom. I know you would be proud of me.”

The message ended with a beep. You left the phone on your ear and stopped walking. You stood still, wondering if one day calling your mother and leaving messages on her old cell phone would eventually make you feel better. She died shortly after you graduated from high school, and the phone number was the only part of her still kept alive. You called it whenever you felt a little lost, or on days when you had exciting news to share.

Feeling a tightness in your chest, you turned off your phone and dropped it into your bag. You were almost home, but you felt like you weren’t ready to face your apartment again. You found it so funny that your professional life was so full and booked, but your personal life was so hollow and empty.

You turned away, thinking that you could retrace your steps and find yourself on a street with a cafe still open. You would gladly sit at that table and write, watching strangers living their lives, each one stuffed to the brim of character. Men that tried hitting on women who were disinterested, the click-clacking of their heels walking away from potential danger. Mothers with their children, each child holding a mushy, spit-covered ice cream cone. There was always someone who didn’t belong in the crowd, someone your eyes glossed over, and someone who brought up memories of someone you used to know. It was your favorite pastime: watching people who weren’t watching you. You smiled at the thought of getting to live those many lives, when you remembered that there was always a writing deadline to attend to.

Another time, you thought, before taking the remaining steps to your apartment and looking through the darkened glass front door. Maybe you would take up your agent's suggestion of taking a bath.

Feeling a little more jolly, you walked up the steps and let yourself in. You stopped to check your mailbox (empty), stopped to check your phone messages one last time (also empty), and lastly, checked your surroundings. When you were sure no one was around, you walked up the steps, feeling tired both mentally and physically. When you reached the top of the hallway, you stopped.

“Haechan.” you said, his name too quiet for him to hear.

Sitting outside your door, a hood over his head, sat the boy who used to pull on your ponytail. Only now, the figure in all-black clothes, a little 5 o’clock shadow on his face, the one that looked up at you like he didn’t recognize you, pulled at your heartstrings.

~♡~

You liked to remember Haechan often, especially considering the main character of your book was written with him in mind. Well, you changed his name in the book and made him a lot cooler, but the core of him was the same. Both men were the epicenter of your whole world, even though one of them had left years ago.

Looking at him sitting on your floor transported you back in time. Briefly, your mind tried to convince yourself that you were seeing a ghost from the past. But, when he got up from the floor, approaching you cautiously, and he paused for a second before reaching out his arms to hug you, your fingertips knew what your brain didn’t: he was real.

“Why are you here?” you blurted, pulling away from him, your body regretful that you had let him go.

“I don’t get a hello?” he asked.

You raised your eyebrows, the surprise on your face real. You were struggling with words, which annoyed you as a writer. All you could do was look at his face and how much it had changed over the last few years. He was a man now. He was a little taller, and the baby fat on his cheeks was gone. He still couldn’t dress right, and the old confidence faded, but he was still as handsome as ever. When he smiled to show that he was joking, you couldn’t stop looking at his teeth.

“How did you find out where I live?” you asked.

“Your dad.” he said.

Haechan didn’t so much as give his apologies for missing your mother’s funeral, and he had the good graces not to bring her up at all. You felt grateful, saving the pain of both things for another time.

“I don’t talk to him much anymore.” you said. “He only comes by to give me old things he thinks I want.”

Not knowing what to do with the piece of information, Haechan shoved his hands into his pockets. You hated how awkward it felt being in front of him. The silence outside of your apartment was magnified by your deep breathing.

“Are you here because of my book?” you asked.

Puzzled, Haechan blinked. “Book? I didn’t read your book.”

You adjusted your bag in your hands and thought of something to say. Before you could speak, Haechan motioned to the bag he brought sitting in front of your apartment door. You looked at it, the big black boulder holding no significance to you.

“I was actually just passing through town. I was wondering if you could let me stay a night.” he said.

Him

He said he hated the apples, even though they were his favorite fruit. He put them on your lunch tray when you weren’t looking, because if you’d seen him do it, you would have made a fuss. Then, he’d get up from your table and go back to wherever his other friends were, because that was what was expected of him. But his eyes always went back to your table to make sure you were eating well, and he would try his best to remember the way you’d smile when you looked down and saw what he had left behind.

He hated school. It was full of adults who tried to change him. Laugh a little less, they said. Don’t be a clown. Don’t make too much trouble. There was never any room for dreamers or troublemakers, never any kind of future for those who didn’t have plans by the time they were pulled from the womb. Behave and listen. Listen and learn, or we’ll call your parents. He had heard it all by the time he was thirteen, and he hated every bit of it.

Not you, though. You never tried to change him. You let him go on his way, even though he knew you felt like he was abandoning you. You were the only person he trusted most days, and in the tent in your backyard, he had felt most like himself.

“I don’t want to hear it.” you had said once. You were angry, he could see it in the way you tried not to say what you wanted to say. “I don’t know why you’re friends with those people.”

He hadn’t known, either. They liked the way he made them laugh, and he liked the attention they gave him. They were different, in the way that they didn’t remind him that friendships were temporary, that everyone you know might someday disappear. He was terrified of that, of the idea that good things didn’t last.

“Are you jealous?” he asked.

He wanted the words to sting. He knew you were jealous, and he knew you would never admit to it. He would have been jealous, too, if the roles were reversed. He wanted nothing more than for you to admit that you cared about him, that you loved him, or to rouse any kind of feeling in you at all. Those words spawned a fight that made it hard for either of you to bounce back from. He pulled and picked at you until you were deteriorating in front of his eyes. Choice words were said, and though the wounds healed as you both grew older, neither of you really forgot the beginning of the end.

Summer came and went, time never slowing down for anybody. The hatred burning in his heart subsided as he grew into himself more, though he never really learned how to savor the moments as they happened. He was always reaching for more, stuffing his greedy face full of anything that could keep him content.

His phone calls to you melted down to just one call per week. He didn’t stop by the tent as much, didn’t ask to catch up on homework. He was drifting through school, using the passage of time to measure the length of girls legs, and how they’d move in his direction any time he smiled.

“Maybe you should date, too,” he had said.

His bright idea didn’t rub off on you. You didn’t smile, didn’t look at him the excited way he looked at you. When you shut it down so quickly, he wondered if your rejection had something to do with him. He was trying really hard to keep your friendship alive, even catching up in the hallways before class to make sure you were taking care of yourself.

“Do you have anyone in mind?” you asked, a simple smile appearing and disappearing before he could blink.

Introducing you to one of his friends, in hindsight, wasn’t the best idea. He’d had better, but he could hardly take it back. You looked happy when his friend's attention was on you. You were radiant. And it was the perfect set-up. You both could double date and spend time together, just like the old days, even making both of your dates uncomfortable by how close of a bond you had together.

When the jealousy arrived in a perfect little handbasket, he was sure it was payback for treating you differently, as he was getting to know himself more. He burned whenever he saw you with the other boy, whenever you reached out for his hand, your lips quivering for a kiss. He would stay up late at night in a restless fit, his mind taking turns convincing himself that you were losing your virginity every waking moment.

“You’re spending a lot of time at my house.” you had said to him on more than one occasion.

“Do you mind?” he asked. “I can go home, if you want.”

“No.” you said quickly, your eyes sparkling.

He wanted to kiss you then. It was a fleeting , special moment, and it hovered in the air between you both from that moment forward. He thought maybe he was imagining it, but he had been close to many girls, and no one looked at him the way you did.

Sitting in your tent, his legs stretched out of it because he was too big, he thought back to every time you made his heart do backflips in his chest. Ever since you were small, he had feelings for you. In fact, his parents used to joke that the two of you would end up together one day, maybe have a wedding in the backyard, your inside jokes written into your vows.

Hearing leaves crunching underfoot, he sat up. “You still sit in this thing?” he asked.

You sat down next to him, the plastic of the tent hitting you in the forehead. “When I need to think.”

“You have a brain?”

“Funny.” you said. “Why are you here?”

He wasn’t sure why. He had been taking a walk and found himself there, his feet knowing exactly where to go. He had been thinking too hard about life after high school, and about what kind of man he wanted to be.

“Life is moving too fast,” he said. “Remember when we were kids and it moved so slow? I would suffer waiting for summer.”

“I remember it vividly.” you said. “Are you feeling nostalgic?”

He ate some of the snacks, offering you some. When you didn’t take it, he pulled on your hair a little bit. Getting you to eat properly was important to him. If he wasn’t around to remind you to take care of yourself, how would you survive the rest of life without him?

“I want you to promise me something.” he said. “After high school, I want us to always be best friends. This last year has made me realize how much I missed you.”

When he felt like he was going to cry, he shoved more food into his face. He was watching you out of the corner of his eye, wondering if he should continue. When you remained quiet, he began again.

“Promise.” you said, holding out your pinky and getting ready to kiss your thumb.

Haechan linked his pinky with yours, his thumb connecting to your thumb. You leaned down to kiss it at the same time, your faces coming closer to each other than they had in a long time. It would be so easy to seal the deal with a real kiss, one that had been years in the making. But he didn’t, and neither did you.

“I have to go.” he said, getting to his feet. “You’re going to keep your promise, right?”

“Have I ever broken a promise to you?” you asked.

~♡~

He was raised not to comment on the state of other people’s homes, good or not. Looking around yours, he wanted so badly to tell you how well you were doing for yourself, and how proud of you he was. He looked around, his fingers itching to touch the pretty ceramic birds on an end table, to run a fingertip on a dustless counter and hold it up to the light.

“You can put your bag down over here.” you said, motioning to a spot beside the couch. “My couch isn’t much, but it is comfortable.”

You were a little awkward, your eyes unable to connect with his. He could see your mind waiting to defend yourself against the little jabs old Haechan would have made about your space. When he didn’t, you didn’t let your shoulders relax. He moved further inside your apartment, and to your confusion, he said it was a nice place, and that he would be happy to sleep wherever.

Compared to your nerves, he was quite calm. He felt like he had walked into a time machine and transported himself into the backyard again. It was like nothing had changed at all. You still looked the same, with nicer clothes that looked more expensive than the average persons. It looked like you went to the hair salon to ask for an “adult” haircut, but your baby face made it hard to take you seriously.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

Haechan shrugged. “Sure.”

When you didn’t ask if he was hungry, Haechan made himself comfortable on the couch. You sat on an opposite chair, folding your hands in your lap. You kept looking around the room nervously, as if you were scared to be alone with a stranger. It hurt him a little bit, but he was mature enough to let it slide.

“Thank you for letting me stay.” he said.

“It’s fine.”

Haechan sighed. “This is much harder than I thought it would be.”

“What is?” you asked, touching your fingers to your neck.

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

You got up from your chair as if you’d been electrocuted. “I forgot I need to make a phone call. I will be right back. Don’t touch anything.”

Haechan watched you as you grabbed your bag and left the room. Never one to keep still, an old habit that never died, he got up and looked around. He came across the room you entered and saw that the door was ajar. He didn’t listen to the conversation, just grabbed little pieces of it regarding a book signing to take place the next day.

“So soon?” he heard you ask the person on the other end of the phone.

Haechan walked away, his attention set on the fireplace. On top of it sat a bunch of picture frames, one of which he was in. Haechan stared at it for a long time, his eyes tracing the outline of the little boy he used to be. In the picture, the two of you were hanging onto each other. You were maybe eight years old, ice cream running down your chin, and a blissful ignorance only a child can carry on your sweet face.

He didn’t know where things had gone wrong. The two of you should have been friends forever. It just made sense. He reached out to touch his fingers to the photo but reeled back when he saw your face in the reflection.

“My mother took that photo.” you said, appearing behind him.

He nodded. “I remember.”

The air was heavy. He wanted to apologize for not going to her funeral. He had been out of the country during that time, but he should have called you. He could have written a letter, he could have done anything else but ignore it.

“I was scared.” Haechan said, the words surprising himself.

You held up a hand, as if you didn’t want to talk about it, but Haechan continued, “I loved her, too.”

You turned your back and went into the kitchen. Quietly, Haechan followed. He wasn’t going to bring it up anymore. He sensed your sadness because it brewed in his chest, too. He sat on a stool as you got yourself a cup and poured cold water from a pitcher into it.

“How was your trip?” you asked, your voice shaky.” Are you still traveling?”

Since he left high school, Haechan felt aimless. He needed to explore the world in an attempt to further his education surrounding himself. He had traveled to many countries and met many people that changed him. Disappearing was never the plan, but it was addicting to not have phone calls, or to adhere to schedules.

“I’m seeing where it goes.” he said.

You took a sip of water and never stopped looking at him. When you were done, you placed it on the counter. “I guess I should ask the million dollar question.”

Haechan leaned back in his stool, “Hit me with what you got.”

“Why are you here?” you asked.

“I didn’t want to pay for a hotel.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’m not a liar.”

“Haechan, I’ve known you all my life.” you said. “Lying is your calling.”

“I wanted to see you.”

You inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Stop lying to me.”

“I’m not lying.” he said. “I’ve never lied to you.”

The bitterness was morphing your face. He could tell you were thinking back to the promise, about how broken it had made you. After he left, he heard from his parents that you called his house often to ask where he had gone. You wrote him letters that were undelivered. You nearly followed him halfway across the world until your mother got sick.

“Okay.” he said. “It wasn’t a lie when I made that promise. I had every intention of being with you until we were old and wrinkly.”

“Please.” you said. “You knew what you were going to do before you did it. You booked the plane ticket two weeks in advance. You were with me at graduation. You kissed me.”

He remembered the kiss well. He had thought about it often on his travels, remembering the way your velvety lips felt, and how he never wanted to stop kissing you. The kiss made sense. It was the one thing time had every permission to slow down.

“I know.” he said.

He kissed you. You didn’t kiss him. He was happy about graduating. He was riding the high of the plane ticket, of the unknown waiting for him. He was scared it was the last chance he had to show you his feelings. When you kissed him back and it felt so good, he was then scared that he would never have the guts to leave.

You continued speaking, each word obliterating his thoughts, “ You want to think going away was just some spontaneous thrill, Haechan, but it fucking wasn’t. You could have told me it was what you wanted. I would have understood. You didn’t have to leave without saying goodbye. You didn’t have to-”

You couldn’t say the words, so he finished them for you. “-leave. I know. I’m sorry. This isn’t an excuse, but I...didn’t want to lose you.”

The words felt stupid as soon as he said them. You held your hand up to your head and said you had a headache. Haechan took the time to excuse himself and use the bathroom, locking himself away to figure out what he really thought was going to happen when he showed up at your door to get you back.

You

You collapsed onto your couch. The last hour felt like a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. You were older and more equipped to handle confrontation, but there was something about seeing Haechan that made you want to curl in your mother’s lap like a child. You bit down on your thumb and thought of the ways you could ask him to leave your private space. There was a hotel down the street that was relatively cheap.

You looked at the photo on the fireplace. The little boy staring back at you had no idea one day he would break your heart into a million pieces. He was still a little unsure of himself, his smile unknowingly gearing up to be mischievous in a few years time. You thought of the grown man in the bathroom, and how the years had passed, but he still felt the same. A part of you wanted to pinch his cheek and wrap your arms around him like you would when you were young. An even bigger part of you wanted to kiss him to see if the feelings still lingered, even though you already knew the answer to that.

Moving your foot, you accidentally nudged his backpack. You looked down at it. It was worn in places, with band buttons adorning the front. One of the zippers was open and the edge of something was sticking out. You looked at your closed bathroom door and back to the backpack before gathering up your courage and unzipping it slowly.

Digging your hand inside, you pulled out a corner of his underwear. With a quick “Ew”, you shoved it back inside. Your knuckle touched against something hard. You wrapped your hand around it and unearthed it to see that it was your book. You pulled it out even more and audibly gasped.

“You liar.” you whispered.

Hearing the toilet flush, you panicked and pulled the book all the way out and shoved it underneath your couch pillow. Quickly, you zipped his backpack and sat back, crossing one leg over the other. When Haechan came out, he hardly looked at you.

“Coming here was a bad idea,” he said. “I don’t know what I expected.”

You stood up. “Wait.”

Haechan didn’t hear you. He grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder. You could see that his face was wet where he had thrown water on it. He didn’t make eye contact with you, just waved his hand and apologized for being an inconvenience.

“Leaving again?” you said.

Haechan stopped moving. He turned back. “I thought about you every day I was gone. Every day. And every day, my next thought was that I didn’t deserve you.”

You didn’t know what to say, so you said nothing at all. For a beat or two, you both stared, your eyes searching each other's. You could see every age of Haechan since you’d known him on his face, from the adorable child to the handsome adult.

You let Haechan leave this time. He closed the door with a soft click, his presence feeling like a fever dream. Mindlessly, you sat back down on your couch, and only remembered the book still laying there after some time.

You took your book and placed it on your lap. It was so worn that some of the pages were slipping out of the binding. You opened it carefully and flipped through the pages, the margins filled up with black pen ink. Haechan had written down his input on most pages with things like:

Am I really like this? There is no way this guy is cooler than me.

You know? You’re actually kind of funny.

Your mother was better than us all.

You closed the book with a snap and felt the tears falling. You put your head down and tried to feel everything all at once.

~♡~

Your agent walked next to you, her stride slowing to match yours. She didn’t outright say you looked like shit, though it was the truth. Your eyes were a little red, your cheeks were puffy, and you kept itching your neck all throughout the night until there were red scratch marks all on your skin.

She held open the door to the bookstore “Are you nervous?”

“Am I nervous?” you asked. “I’m shitting myself. I don’t think anyone is going to show up, but with my life, I’m pretty sure I can deal with the embarrassment.”

Your agent rattled on and on about how special you were to people. She dragged you throughout the two story bookstore, pulling you harder when you tried stalling. You mostly blocked out her words to save your sanity. You didn’t love when people tried buttering you up.

“Just over in this section.” she said. “It starts in twenty minutes, so don’t expect many people right away.”

When you both turned the corner, there was a sizable line leading up to a table stacked with new books. When the people saw you, they gawked. Some clapped, which made your face turn as hot as your neck.

“I can’t do this.” you whispered.

Your agent directed you to a chair, holding you down by your shoulders, so you wouldn’t run away. You took a sip of cold water sitting by your side.

“They’re all here for you.” she said. “Smile and try to be happy.”

“I’ll try.” you said, but when someone smiled at you in front of the line, you felt yourself returning a genuine smile.

Twenty minutes passed by faster than you wished. When the first person approached the table, you tried to remember your school teachers who believed in you. You recalled all the people who inspired your stories, making a mental bid to thank them for making the first signing so sweet.

“I really love how you write.” someone had said. Hearing those words made you feel touched. You tried your hardest not to tear up, signing your sloppy signature as best you could.

“Thank you.” you said, the gratitude you felt hopefully being translated well.

You signed for a long time, the line growing and growing as time passed. Some people came with their own dog-eared books, others with fresh copies. They asked what your upcoming book was about, which made you excited to finish writing it.

“There isn’t a set ending quite yet, but I’m writing like crazy!” you said.

You looked down at a book before you and smiled, your fingers touching the pages softly. You signed it and handed it back, giving the fan a smile that reached your eyes. When your eyes locked with his, you felt the world move. Staring back at you was Haechan.

“I would have given you my own copy to sign.” he said. “But I seem to have misplaced it.”

There was a knowing smile on his face that made you feel flushed all over. He took the signed book back and tucked it underneath his arm. Since yesterday, he looked freshly showered in a similar black t-shirt and jeans. His hair was carefully laid flat on his head like he cared what he looked like in public. He looked handsome, and his cheeks were definitely not puffy.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you read the book?” you asked.

“You and I both know I don’t make the best choices.” he said.

You smiled faintly. There was pain in the smile he returned. You wanted so badly to reach across the table and smooth away the lines on his forehead.

“I know this isn’t the best place.” he said, turning around to look at the line behind him. “But I came here to tell you the truth of why I was outside of your door yesterday.”

“Okay.” you said, your attention no longer on those people.

Haechan continued. “You see, I’m not traveling anymore. “

“You’re not?” you asked. “Then, what are you doing?”

“I’m coming home.”

You didn’t know what he expected of you, but he looked a little deflated when you held out your hand. He looked at the book under his arm and back at your hand, his smile unsure. He took the book out and placed it gently into the palm of your hand. You placed the book back onto the table and opened to the space where you had signed your name.

“I’m not going to ask for promises anymore.” you said. “I’ve always asked you for too much. For now, I would just like to tell you something.”

In the book, just below your name, you signed “I love you, Haechan.”

Before you could even close the book, Haechan came around the table and brought you into a big hug that certainly felt like home.

#haechan #donghyuck #lee donghyuck #lee haechan #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #haechan fluff #haechan fanfiction #donghyuck fluff #donghyuck fanfiction #nct haechan #nct fluff #nct fanfiction

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iamanartichoke · 4 years ago

Text

All right - I’m serious, I don’t fucking know what to say. There is so much analysis to be done and I’ve got FEELS and my brain short-circuited. But, some reactions under the cut. Spoilers, obviously.

[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers]

*flailing*

Well my first reaction is that -

Okay. There was some cringe - mostly stuff that we already saw in the trailers. (Loki doesn’t say “crap,” btw. I think he says “bunk.” Which, okay.) I’m just kinda ignoring it.

There were some genuinely funny lines and moments. Toward the latter half of the episode, there was a more subtle balance between serious and humorous and it flowed together well.

Re: Loki’s powers - I actually really like how they handled it here. The narrative made fun of him when he tried to use his powers, but idk, I didn’t find anything wrong with it. It was amusing and the joke was not “har har Loki is weakling,” it was “har har Loki thinks he can use his powers here,” which was more funny and ic for me. Also, Loki slamming his fists down and saying DAMN IT WHY WON’T IT WORK sent me.

That said, they did a good job showing that even a “declawed” Loki, powers-wise, was still formidable in the sense that he fell back on his wits and gave them a run for their money. Plus him getting one over on Jailer Time Lady was *chef’s kiss*

I’m intrigued by the storyline and general plot.

Okay, what broke my brain (and my heart) was everything between Loki and Mobius. Mobius kept dragging Loki in all the most hurtful ways we’ve all meta’ed about endlessly, and I couldn’t figure out if he was trying to goad Loki or if he actually believed what he was saying. Idk, I can’t get a firm read on Mobius at this point, although I kinda hate him a little. He preyed on all of Loki’s most vulnerable doubts and insecurities - rude.

Most importantly -

LOKI CRYING. Loki cried a lot. My emotional whumpy needs were met. Mobius fucking showed him Frigga’s death, and then Loki watched his own death (which they showed somewhat graphically but I really liked how we got to see Loki’s reaction as the snap of his neck occurred off-screen, like, well done and also fuck my life), and the way he stood there, laughing and crying as the realization of his wasted life - and how it ends - sunk in was just, god, my heart.

Mobius’s interrogation revolving around forcing Loki to admit whether or not he likes hurting people and causing death and destruction was good. I also liked how, when Loki was threatening Casey, you could tell that he didn’t intend to kill Casey at all but it wasn’t done in a mocking, like, “pfft okay Loki” way, it was more like a “okay, we all know you have no intention of actually gutting Casey like a fish bc you clearly don’t enjoy hurting people and we’re establishing that right off the bat” and, yknow, that works for me.

I’m probably forgetting things. I will have to rewatch and analyze much more closely. I anticipate many metas (sorry in advance). But, I mean, my overall reaction? There wasn’t really anything that I disliked enough to make an impression. Just the cringey humor parts and the times where Loki’s reactions felt exaggerated but, I mean, it was easy enough to overlook. I certainly didn’t get the impression that Loki was being portrayed as “clownish” or too zany, despite the trailers. Loki had a ton of really good lines; I feel like we got a solid glimpse into what’s going on in Loki’s head but there’s obviously so much more going on beneath the surface.

And also, Loki’s mannerisms deserve mentioning! Nothing special but just, he had so many facial expressions and gestures and things that, thus far, have only existed in my imagination when reading/writing fic. He pushed his hands through his hair at one point, even. I realize I’m probably the only one lame enough to care about things like that, but I just loved watching the way Loki spoke and moved and reacted. It all felt very natural.

ALSO. LOKI BEING D.B. COOPER BC HE LOST A BET TO THOR. LMAO. I CANNOT.

... Imma just leave it there for now. I give this episode, upon first viewing and first reactions, a B-. More meta to follow, etc.

#loki tv series spoilers #loki series spoilers #loki spoilers #loki pokey artichokey #loki series: just drink what's in the glass

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ransprang · 3 years ago

Note

hi ! can i please request a romantic matchup for OHSHC and avatar ? i’m 21 my pronouns are she/her, and i would prefer a male match !

i’m 5’5-5’6, and have a quite tanned, olive skin tone with freckles, one brown and one green eye, and while i dye my hair every couple of months it’s currently black and pink. i tend to dress quite grunge/emo and i have a fair few tattoos, probably too many ear piercings, and two nose piercings, but i’m always planning on more eventually.

i’m an aries, and i tend to be pretty impulsive, which can be a downfall with my lack of patience. i also can have a temper but i cool down pretty quick. i can be stubborn, but i’m also pretty determined and quite a hard worker, and i’m a very competitive person and usually try and be the best at what i do, which can also turn to a flaw when i don’t meet my high expectations of myself. i’m also the person who never turns down a dare. i can be loud and energetic, but i also honestly thrive in stressful situations and i am far too good at winging things i honestly swear that’s my only talent. i’m pretty playful and my parents tell me i’m too childish in that regards, but i’m really good at taking charge and being serious when needed. i’ve struggled a lot with mental health for pretty much all of my teen years so i like to do little things that bring happiness and try to romanticise a lot of things in my life so i can be pretty sentimental at times and try to be as optimistic as i can, but being self destructive is something i’m still working really hard on.

i’m currently studying forensic science, and have had a morbid curiosity with true crime for literally ever. i’d say i’m really adventurous and i love when people want to do things with no planning, but i’m not opposed to doing anything by myself if i can’t drag a friend along. i live a couple of minutes from a beach and i tend to find myself down there most nights watching the sunset, especially in the warmer weather (which is literally all of the time where i am anyway) and i find it a place to escape from everything for a moment. i also love going on late night drives when i can’t sleep, or just on a whim. music is a big part of my life and unless i’m watching tv or a video i’ve got music playing. i listen to a bit of everything but usually i’ll be playing pop-punk/alternative/metal and while i prefer heavier stuff i don’t really hate any genre that i can think of. i also play guitar and bass guitar and sing a bit, even though i’m not super good. i also enjoy reading and painting, and i’m a pretty active person as well and absolutely love running because it feels so free.

i don’t really know if i have an exact type, but i tend to lean towards people who can seem kinda moody but have a solid sense of humour. especially the kind of redeemed “bad boys” in movies and books and stuff. i think i want someone who i can joke around with and will match my energy but keep me grounded as well. i am a bit of a hopeless romantic and can fall for someone so quickly but move on just as quick (which isn’t as good at it can sound). i can be a bit of a flirt but most of the time i don’t mean to do it and i don’t realise i am. i also am super independent and i do like a bit of clinginess sometimes, but it can get smothering real quick if it’s over the top. i also hate when people aren’t straightforward with how they feel, like in someone saying something when they feel the opposite to avoid conflict, especially when communication would just be so much easier.

i just realised i have literally written an essay but thank you so much i really appreciate it !!

Hii! Thank you so much for your request and especially for all the juicy details.

From Avatar you got......

JET!!

SFW

He's the resident moody boy of Avatar, next to zuko but unlike zuko he actually has a sense of humor! He's known for his charismatic, charming personality and thus is a hit with the ladies. He s a bit of a bad boy too being the leader of a band of rebels. He's witty enough to keep up with you in conversation

Initially the two of you may not have a good beginning or a good first meeting since he can be a bit manipulative and not that straightforward at times. However, after a lot of playful banter and flirting you both would realise what a strong power couple you both are together. Both of you are very determined, loud, energetic, independent and hardworking towards your goals. Both of you could work on common goals together and be the ultimate power couple.

He wouldn't be clingy as he has to be there for the freedom fighters, but he will make sure to give you a sufficient amount of time and affection.

Your tattoos would get you a lot of attention from everyone at the camp. This may make Jet a bit jealous at times.

He would also be happy that you have a morbid curiousity with blood, since we know he loves murdering innocents! HAHAHA

N/SFW

He'd build the two of you a treehouse a walking distance away from the freedom fighters camp so y'all do the naughty naughty in peace.

Jet is a wild man of the streets, thus he would be very very rough in bed. He would treat you like a brat and him a brat tamer.

He is definitely the type to helicopter his peepee in the bedroom and excitedly ask you to watch him do that! what a lil cinnamon roll.

Jet would use nicknames such as baby doll, and honey. This might sound a bit weird so you are free to tie him and then fuck him raw with a strap on. Break his little masculine ego, baby doll!

As we know he can mimic a variety of bird calls and whistles, he will show off his skills when going to pound town. And who said French is the language of love smh

He is for sure a night owl. The two of you can go on cute spontaneous walks and stay up till sunrise. Of course he'll keep you very safe as well with his swordsmanship skills. And he will use his 'sword' on you if you'd like. And probably fuck on a tree as well.

As for OHSHC you got..................................

RITSU!!

SFW

Ritsu may look hella moody and scary, but he's a very cute man. He would definitely he a sweetheart without being too clingy since he has a life of his own as well such as following Mori Senpai.

When you both meet for the first time and you look beyond his exterior to treat him like anyone else, he'll instantly be interested in you and warm up to you.

Try not to flirt too much with this poor boy, he'll blush way too much and becoming a flustered mess. (You should totally tease him about it) Because of how easy it is to interpret his emotions he's quite straightforward.

He'd be drawn to your unique aesthetic as well, maybe because he also stand out in crowds. Grunge fashion + black & pink hair + heterochromia?? like damn mami okayyy

He'd love that you'd attract attention in his place, and you stand out in a crowd just like him. Adding some positivity to the negative attention he usually receives.

Being the son of a Yakuza member, bloodshed is inevitable. He'd let you practice forensic science on dead gang members, trying to figure out who did killed whomst.

With his family background, Ritsu would be more than eager to get tattoos and piercings with you.

Again because of his family background he's forced to work out a ton because of training sessions and keeping in shape. The two of you can be active together.

N/SFW

Ritsu would be in to shibari (japanese knot system), tie you down like his hostages babaaay.

He would be concerned about your and teach you how to fight, and in the process tackle you down. He would slowly grind his dick against your exercise clothes. All hot and sweaty.

He loves it when you play with his katana ;)

Your bad women,

Admin sar, sav and san

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hopeswriting · 4 years ago

Text

I meant to do a post about my thoughts on the Daily Life Arc now that I finished rereading it, but I can't seem to find the time and it's been a while now, and if I keep it up I'll forget what my thoughts are to begin with lol, so here's the long story short:

I know it's a long arc, as in it starts being boring and more or less unbearable past some point, because the "gag of the chapter" format only takes you so far, and not actually very far if Amano's humor doesn't work on you much, if at all. I don't think it's an arc you can reread right away/soon either, lest you feel that one flaw even faster.

And I felt it too, starting with the fourty-something chapters I felt like it was dragging on too much, though to be fair that probably had to do too with the fact I knew things much more interesting were coming after that.

Still, all that said, like, it's an enjoyable arc. Amano's humor happens to work on me, and she does it really well, and I liked reading the arc. There are some chapters where you're really asking yourself why they were written for lol, but even then you read it for the characters, and it somehow keeps you going.

And like, even though I think Amano could have seen the fact the comedy was going to turn repetitive and thus boring at some point, and try to diversify it or something, it's just how comedy/humor/gags works? Some jokes land and some doesn't, but for me at least a lot more of them worked than not.

The DLA is a good enough arc is what I'm saying.

------

On than note and on the contrary, of course it's fine if you think it's a bad arc, to each their opinion, but personally I really don't agree it's an unnecessary one.

I'm saying this because apparently it's not uncommon to advice new fans to skip the arc and directly start with the Kokuyo one? (Or so I learned on TV Tropes anyway, this might or might not be still relevent/accurate.)

Now don't get me wrong, the DLA does fail to hook the readers to the story for the reasons stated above, I agree with that, but it literally introduces the main character? And all the other characters, and gets us to know them, and establishes the dynamics between them and why they're the way they are, and, though only in a more or less superficial manner (and more than less) by design of the arc's purpose (not being deep in any way lol), it still gives us an insight into the characters and why they're the way they are. A glimpse into the core of their personality, the "stakes" of their characters, the flaws they have to overcome.

And all that in the context of their daily life, so if you skip it to go directly to the arc that challenges them, you can't appreciate fully how they rise to the challenge, how it shows their growth or reasserts their core values. You can't know how much or what it means, for example, off the top of my head, to have Yamamoto sacrifice his arm to beat Ken, when only a year ago he tried to kill himself over his broken arm. Or Hibari losing against Mukuro, thus telling us how much of a real threat he was. Or Tsuna screaming at Lancia for having hurt his friends, anger on his face, clearly despite himself, that Dame-Tsuna.

All these just wouldn't hit you the same, and it'd be such a shame? I mean I guess the ones who start with the Kokuyo arc go back to read the DLA, or you could compromise like the anime did by splitting the DLA between more serious arcs, but like I said I personally don't find the DLA that bad, so I still wouldn't advice it lol.

Even if, I suppose, it'd mean they might give up on the manga somewhere through the DLA, but like? Some mangas just don't speak to you, and that's fine, and it'd be a little of a shame from my POV as a KHR fan, but still, no big deal.

------

I'm still very impressed with how smoothly Amano went from a gag manga to a shonen one, and how she made it so the DLA still fits with the rest. I mean the sudden change in tone/stakes/etc is jarring, sure, but it's all based on stuff she introduced in the DLA, which she presumably came up with with no intention to ever make it something deeper/more meaningful.

It's easy to believe the foreshadowing, and generally speaking the worldbuilding was planned all along, which, again, probably not, and like? Super impressive.

(Though once more don't get me wrong, there are inconsistencies/plot holes in Amano's plotlines and worldbuilding, but not, like, at their seams, if I can say it like that? It's more often in the details, and it's fairly easy to fill in the blanks ourselves.)

------

Finally it was a lot of fun to rediscover the characters in a new light, and a bit of a disbelieving surprise tbh.

For context before I started my reread of the manga, all this time I was going with the time I read/watched it years ago plus the times I skimmed it, but mostly by all the fanon I was consuming. And it's not to say fanon is wrong per se, but it latched on one to three character's traits, or slapped an easy character archetype on them easy to "relate" to within, and apparently never looked back lol. And also often dialed up those traits (good or bad) in a very noticeable manner.

What I'm saying is, fanon is, in fact, wrong sometimes zldnslsz, and the characters are much more nuanced even in the DLA! (Which still leaves us at a more or less superficial level, because, you know lol, but still!)

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To name the ones that stood out to me the most:

Nana isn't abused by Iemitsu, nor is she unhappy in her marriage despite Iemitsu being an absent husband (which is not relevent in the context of the DLA, but still, you can tell). She isn't an abusive mother to Tsuna either, and she is literally never an airhead. She literally just isn't, she actually does react very normally to the crazy Reborn brings with him, but much like Yamamoto as long as no one gets hurt (or walks it off), she just brushes it off.

And she has friends she goes listen to piano recitals with, and tries to save on money by eating rests, and gets in two-way arguments with Tsuna, and raises his allowance if he gets better grades to push him to work harder, and all around is just your average mom that really didn't read as just The Mom, if you know what I mean.

She has her flaws, definitely, she's not a great mom, namely is apparently used to call Tsuna Dame-Tsuna, but she's not just that.

She takes care of him, worries over him, and seems to be the only one who hasn't given up on him yet when the story starts. She supports him (though sometimes in a tactless to hurtful way), praises him when he does well, and trusts him to watch over the kids.

She's not that bad is what I'm saying, and 100% redeemable (that is, if you think she needs to be redeemed to begin with, which I actually do think she does, calling Tsuna Dame of all things is just a really shitty thing to do.)

(Though it's interesting to note that she doesn't do it again after what happened with Kyoko iirc, even if she might very well still talk to him in a belittling way at times. I just wish Amano would have commit fully to acknowledge it and resolve it, what with already having made it Kyoko's Dying Will Regret.)

(Edit: I had forgotten but she literally forgets his birthday while preparing someone else's birthday, so I take back that she is 100% redeemable because it's being too nice. But my point still stands.)

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Haru is literally such a fun character, it makes me even more sad now to know what Amano did with her (nothing ansknslq 😭😂).

She's unhinged, has zero impulse control, does not reflect on the consequences of her lack of impulse control as Tsuna points it out, is ready and willing to throw hands at any given moment and is unapologetic of it, and is the one Amano actually calls an airhead.

The only problem she had with the mafia is that she thought Tsuna was forcing it on Reborn, and when she confirmed it was all true she literally didn't even blink at it, and immediately called herself the future Decimo's wife djosdkkd.

On that note she is literally mafia right from her first appearance, is more or less involved in almost all the mafia shenanigans, was right there with Tsuna & Co when they went to destroy the Tomaso's headquarters.

And like?? Amano could just have left it at that if she wasn't going to do anything else/more with it. Haru had so much potential, and not only Amano did nothing with it, she actually watered her down and took away all her distinct character's traits 😭.

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Hibari is so much more feral and playful than his fanon cool, overpowered, quiet badass counterpart. Which I love too, don't get me wrong, but these two sides of him don't have to be exclusive!

He talks and smiles and jokes often, and shows off and casually insults you, and licks the blood away from his lips after having beaten bloody other middle schoolers who dared to defy him (I know this happens in the Kokuyo arc, but it illustrates my point the best).

Not much more to add than that, we should just acknowledge that and put it in our works more often.

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Gokudera is a compelling character from the get go, and as far as the DLA goes, he's the most compelling character second to Tsuna. He's the only one to actually have flashbacks and a backstory. And what stood out to me the most that I don't see often in fanon, is that he's really a good friend.

Yes he has a short fuse and snaps easily and is easy to anger, but he's not always angry. And is seen having and being capable of positive exchanges outside of Tsuna (I'm thinking Yamamoto namely, who's made with Ryohei to be the one he gets angry with the most).

And yes he holds Tsuna on a pedestal and sees him through heavily tinted pink glasses, but even through that he's earnestly a good friend. And tries his best, and is hardworking and overachieving, so much so he messes up without meaning to, but he only ever has honest, straight-forward good intentions behind it all (well, maybe not always lol).

I love him a lot more now is what I'm saying.

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And Tsuna. I'm not sure I'll be able to articulate my thoughts properly, but like... he's just your average teenager. Which of course is his whole thing, and I'm saying it in a very not judgy way whatsoever, but he's often made to be at least a little more than that, namely about his bullying.

Like, it's kind of dramatised in fics? And I'm not going to elaborate on that more because it might come out wrong and I don't want that, but it's just, like—canonically he is just bullied, simple as that. Like many other teenagers are.

And it's all in a "chill" way (for unfortunate lack of a better word, I don't mean to trivialize bullying at all, it's wrong and unfair and never deserved or okay, just so we're clear), and by the time the story starts Tsuna is used to it and has given up fighting against it, and actually finds refuge and a twisted comfort in embracing his Dame-Tsuna's monicker, because at least he's not gonna hit rock bottom deeper than that if he does.

And I'm not actually going anywhere with this, it's just? It hit me how differently canon and fanon portray his bullying.

Back on the note of him being a (below) average teenager, Tsuna is not an uwu pure cinnamon roll too good for this world.

He's literally so quick to judge and criticise, whether in his head or out loud when he knows more the person (namely Haru lol, poor girl), it was actually a bit of a shock tbh lol. He snaps easily, and is lazy, does not want to try even one bit, and is happy to run away from his responsibilities whenever he can.

And not only I'm not saying that in a judgy way this time either, but I'm actually saying it in a good way. He really felt like your average middle schooler, and it was so refreshing to see. That, plus the fact the narrative never holds it against him, let alone punishes him for it even if he's made to grow out of these traits, and it's literally part of his character arc, is kind of unique for the shonen genre (maybe, I'm not exactly a specialist of shonen mangas lol).

And I can see why you'd want to change it in fics, but personally I think it really makes his character's arc even more meaningful.

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr text post #daily life arc #i said long story short but this is actually the long story 😭#lile a lot of things i just really need to start to keep going uh sbdlsnks #if the read more doesn't work i'll add it on desktop as soon as i get my hands on a computer #in the meantime sorry about that #khr reread

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mudhorn-djarin19 · 4 years ago

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Din Djarin - NSFW Alphabet

Figured why not share my own fics on here too haha. This here is my NSFW Alphabet for Din Djarin from The Mandalorian Rating: Mature/Explicity Warnings: smut, sex, piv sex, masturbation, overstimulation, edging, bondage and dom/sub Written with a x f!reader perspective Masterlist AO3 link. Join my taglist via here! My fics will be uploaded to AO3 first but I will try to remember to upload them here as well! ___________ A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) Din didn’t really know anything about aftercare until you came into his life. He at first just kind of left you there, going back to work. After a while he picked up and learned that he should help you clean up, hold and caress you for a bit. B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Din’s favorite body part is his hands and arms. He uses them everyday as part of his job and because of that they are fairly toned and strong. He likes what he can do with his hands to tease you, caress you and more. But also like how strong his arms are to hold you and carry you. His favorite body part of yours is your ass. He likes to place a hand on it while walking through towns to guide you, and grab handful of it when making out or during sex. C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically) Mans got a lot of it. I mean he’s never really had sexual experiences until you came along. He only got off a few times by himself but it wasn’t enough to get him off as properly as he wanted or needed. But with you in the picture now and knowing how to get him off just right… he produces a ton. He also loves to make you taste his. And taste yours in response, he finds it delicious. D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He always makes sure to keep his face hidden only taking his helmet off in the darkness but the thought has crossed his mind a few times to say fuck it and remove it so you can finally see the real face of the man who fucks you, kiss you and make love to you without a beskar or blanket of darkness barrier but he continues to hold on to his tradition. One day he will do so but probably not until he marries you. If you will have him. Thus still following his traditions and not breaking codes. E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Din doesn’t have much experience. He’s had a few endeavours here and there but nothing memorable and were only quickies. He usually just got off on his own. Being a Mandalorian and unable to remove your helmet, trying to keep yourself protected too limits you. He is learning a lot more now that you are in his life and showing him different things. F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying) He loves taking you up against the hull’s wall holding you in his arms while you’re legs and arms are wrapped around him. He doesn’t mind taking you from behind against the wall either. Watching as your butt wiggles in response and arch back into him for more. G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Din is never goofy in the moment. He is as serious as can be as usual and makes sure to make things romantic and as sensual as can be. H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) He’s a busy man fighting Imps and others, traveling all over the galaxy and now having to care for an adopted son so he doesn’t always get to groom himself but he does his best to. Never gets too unmanageable, usually just some short curly hairs. I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) Din wasn’t very romantic at first, not sure how to do so. He was pretty quiet and rough the first few times until you taught him and he softened up. Now he is a true romantic. Always calling you sweet names, caressing you, and only being rough with you when you ask. He has become a true romantic to you but denies to keep his tough guy persona going. J = Jack Off (Masturbation head canon) Din in the past has jacked off quite a lot. It was his only form of release until he met you. Since you came into his life though he has toned down on doing so since he now has you as a means to help release. You still on occasions can catch him doing so in the cockpit and then tease him about it. K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) He is new to kinks, still exploring them. Again minor lack of experience. But he has learned he likes edging, overstimulation and bondage so far. L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) Anywhere on the ship. He has no preference. It’s really the only location you guys have to yourselves to do it for he doesn’t feel safe often staying at inns. As long as the kid is fast asleep and tucked away in his pod out of ear shot… anywhere on the ship works for him. M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) His motivation is honestly just you yourself. You get him through everything. You are the light in his life. You keep him going to stay alive on the job and keep him on his toes in the bedroom. A simple tease from you can get him motivated and rearing to go. N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs) Don’t even think about someone else touching you. You are his and only his. He refuses to share you. So threesomes or swinging is out of the question. O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) He loves when you go down on him. It’s a new experience to him and something about it makes him feel feral. He loves watching as you take him in your mouth and make eye contact with you (even if you can’t tell you are with his helmet on or in the dark). He also loves to go down on your in return, again he finds your juices sweet tasting. P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) He uses a mix of both depending on the mood and what you want. He can go sensual and slow or fast and rough. He has no preference. Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) He’s a busy man always having to track quarries or deal with the kid so oftentimes quickies are the way to go. He doesn’t mind them. Taking you in the cockpit in his chair, or against the wall in the hull. R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) Din is a man of many risks. It’s a part of his job. He doesn’t mind trying new things with you but doesn’t want to do anything you don’t want to do. He will always ask you first and confirm with you if you suggest something if that’s what you really want to do. He also doesn’t want to go too far and risk hurting or upsetting you. S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) Din is always pushing himself to the limits with his job so his stamina is very high. He can go several rounds and lasts for a good while. How many rounds you guys go is up to you though, he doesn’t want to push you too much. T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Din doesn’t have any toys he uses himself. He never did this stuff really with others until you came into his life so he had no need for them. He isn’t even sure what there is to use. He isn't opposed to using anything if you mention it. Open to new things. U = Unfair (How much they like to tease) Din *loves* to tease. He likes to get you riled up when out in public, get you riled up right before he leaves for a quarry. He knows it leaves you craving him more when you can’t have him right away. He’s ghost his fingers over you in different places, and whisper things to you to get you worked up. V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) He’s a man of few words but in the bedroom he is constantly whispering praises to you. He moans an awful lot too but not too loud. W = Wild Card (Get a random head canon for the character of your choice) Din’s a dominant person. He likes to be in control. It comes from his job and he tries to ease up on it in the bedroom but it’s hard. You don’t mind though, you like him being dominant and in control, only easing up when you are teaching him something new. X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants) He’s packin’ fairly well. At least 8 inches in length and thick. Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) He didn’t think he had a high sex drive but he does. His drive is fairly high. Always craving and thinking of you. Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward) Din doesn’t tire easily. So he doesn’t fall asleep right away afterwards. He ends up spending a good time cuddling you and having convos with you (now that he’s learned about aftercare).

#din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #mandalorian #fanfic #ao3 #star wars

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aros001 · 3 years ago

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Read through light novel vol. 3. Random thoughts.

It's a weird thought to have to hope that this fantasy world has access to some form of abortion, be it a practical method or a magical one. I'm sure the various religious beliefs of their world wouldn't normally approve but when it comes to pregnancy forced onto someone by goblins, I'd like to think they'd make an exception. The women have already been through enough, they don't need the additional trauma of having one of those things crawling out of their bodies. I'd heard a rumor that the Fighter committed suicide after giving birth to a goblin baby but I've also heard other people say that never happened. Obviously I'd hope for the latter.

“...Hey, uh, Goblin Slayer... It kind of kills me to ask you this, but...” Female Knight gulped, and this seemed to embarrass her afresh as she flushed red. “If I... If I wear something like that, do you think it’d get his attention...?”

“I confess I must doubt the sanity of anyone who would ask me that question.”

There have already been plenty of funny moments throughout the other books but this volume is just really killing it so far. Goblin Slayer's personality and serious deadpan nature lends itself surprisingly well to comedy. It's a different style than the humor of, say, Konosuba, where plenty of the comedy is from these exaggerated characters interacting with their insane world. Here, the personalities are a lot more normal and realistic, which makes it really funny when they segway into non-serious topics like a festival, dates, battle bikini armor, or even bizarreness like Goblin Vampires.

There is something very amusing that the first meeting between Goblin Slayer and the Hero is her putting a sword to his throat. I'm a big fan of superheroes and it's not uncommon for crossover stories to begin almost exactly like that. The only thing missing was for the misunderstanding to lead to a fight before both realize they're both the good guy, but how it happened here fits a lot more with Goblin Slayer's mindset. Not offended or bothered in the least that Hero thought he was some kind of zombie and immediately acted with hostility, because he's very much a "better safe than sorry" kind of guy and probably would have done the same thing.

One of the reasons I liked Priestess the most out of the other characters in the anime, save for GS himself, was that she's the one who had the most interaction with Goblin Slayer and the most development alongside him. Their relationship was much more defined than his with the other characters and thus I was able to enjoy it more. That's why I like Cow Girl getting more of a spotlight on her date with Goblin Slayer here and the various conversations they have throughout the book. It helps me get to know her better and feel more invested in their relationship, romantic or otherwise.

It's probably because of his armor and the way he carries himself but I tend to forget Goblin Slayer isn't that old. He's only about twenty, which while still an adult isn't that old compared to a lot of the people around him. I think his age really hit me when I realized Guild Girl is older than him by about three years (they first met when he was 15 and she was 18). Just how the story writes what he's been doing ever since he became an adventurer and just the sheer horror we know the goblins are capable of makes it feel like he's been fighting them for far longer than five years.

So the rhea adventurer came back. Aaaand there he goes. When he was demoted in the anime I was afraid he was going to do something horrible in retaliation, like releasing goblins upon the town, or at least the Guild Girl. And my prediction was a little close to the truth. It's good writing that Goblin Slayer killing him (scaring the crap out of him first ("Is that so?" as he rises up from where he's supposed to be dead on the floor)) was actually relevant to the climax of the story. Almost everything that the story sets up always comes back into play later. Nothing feels like excess fat.

“Well, I mean... I guess...” But, blinking, Priestess concluded, “It was just my role in the plan.”

“You just don’t care with Orcbolg, do you? He could punch you in the face and you’d forgive him.”

“Ah— Ah, ha-ha-ha...”

If anyone even tried to punch Priestess in the face I'm pretty sure Goblin Slayer would break every bone in their hand. Even for as bloody and obsessive as he is, even if he could somehow tie it into killing goblins, it's hard to imagine him ever deliberately harming one of his own companions. Now, putting them in harm's way is a different story.

“I have taken your measure! You are no better than Ruby, the fifth rank. Or even Emerald, the sixth!”

“No,” Goblin Slayer said, shaking his head. “Try Obsidian.”

Goblin Slayer didn’t have it in him. But...

“O Earth Mother, abounding in mercy, grant your sacred light to we who are lost in darkness!”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH! THAT IS F**KING TRUST AND RESPECT!

I am going to miss Dark Elf though. It was nice for Goblin Slayer to face an antagonist who could talk and wasn't also just a powerful brute in single combat like the Ogre or Goblin Lord.

“The fragrant olives.”

“Yeah?”

“I researched them, but I don’t think they fit me.”

“Oh, no?” Cow Girl cocked her head, the wind picking up her hair. “I think I’d have to disagree...”

...

Those flowers represented four things: purity, humility, true love...and first love.

I think it fits perfectly.

I don't remember if it was before or after I'd started watching the anime but I remember reading about people online complaining how Goblin Slayer himself was a very bland and boring character. That's there's nothing to him beyond his obsession with killing goblins.

I'll admit, he's no Monkey D. Luffy; a character with such a bombastic and defined personality that you can instantly picture it in your head, or no Ainz Ooal Gown; a character whose true inner self that the audience can see is at such odds with the side that everyone else in the story sees. Goblin Slayer is definitely a much quieter and reserved character, but I don't think that makes him bland. His obsession with killing goblins is the skeleton of his character and a lot of good stuff has been built around that. He's overly serious. He's always picking up on weird, random knowledge. He's inventive.

One of my favorite aspects of Goblin Slayer's character is he feels like someone whose trauma and obsession stunted his emotional growth and now that he is connecting with people again he isn't really sure how to conduct himself. It lends itself to a lot of comedy as well as a lot of really sweet moments. When he hangs out with Priestess. Talking about making ice cream with his party. Buying the toy ring for Cow Girl. Parts of himself that don't involve killing goblins are being brought out by all these people he's found himself attached to and I think he doesn't know how to feel about it, because even he never thought there'd be anything to him other than killing goblins.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/GoblinSlayer/comments/fslken/read_through_light_novel_vol_3_random_thoughts/

#goblin slayer #random thoughts #reddit repost

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dauntingdarling · 4 years ago

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Reviewing Cursed (Netflix)

So I finally jumped on the bandwagon for this show and I’ve got some thoughts: (spoilers)

Bad Stuff:

For all the hype I’ve read about the show, I was expecting the main lead to be at least more than she was. Nimue was a disappointment and honestly is one of the weaker parts of the show.

The 2nd weakest part being Nimue x Arthur relationship

And I’m not going to even start on the effects in this show, JESUS

While I don’t necessarily blame the hollowness of Nimue’s character on the actress Katherine, (I will say the reason it took me a while to get into this show was because Katherine has 13 reasons why stamped all over her still in my head) I do think she handled some of Nimue’s scenes a bit... awkwardly.

Case in point: Her first interaction with Arthur

^But honestly, this wasn’t that horrible when you look to the effects the show used to make this show “graphic”

All the bloody gore they showed was done so badly that I scoffed more than grimaced.

^Also can we just point out that when Nimue strung up that red paladin in vines, they made it seem like it was horrible and prime gore material when in reality it looked like a cheap set piece... what a let down

Now lets chat this up a moment:

We all know how the King Arthur tale goes. He marries Gwenevere who then G cheats with Lancelot (more of him in a moment) etc. I feel for Nimue from the get go when I noticed how quick they were to use her to glow up Arthur... like seriously?

What girl would start a relationship with Mr. Goody (to the point where he is boring) when her life is literally turning to shatters in all directions? All male writers red flag

And while we are on the topic, Arthur-sir, you are the most annoying and basic good guy I’ve watched in some time. Not only does he seem to be too good to the point that its unrealistic, they seriously played off him stealing Nimue’s sword as an okay thing to do... Sir no.

Devon portrays all the characteristics of King Arthur perfectly, but I feel like if Arthur is to progress into becoming a king, we should be seeing him making mistakes and learning so as to become the great ruler he will one day be. (writers take notes please)

We need some dirt in that perfect persona he carries

Also known as Weeping Monk

Good Stuff:

Let me just start by putting this magnificent thirst trap right here:

I’ve got to hand it to Daniel Sharman, he has a very loyal fanbase that seems able to carry THIS ENTIRE SHOW on their shoulders.

Like honestly, I looked through plenty of content on various apps and the Weeping Monk is blowing through social media like wild fire.

And for good reason too:

-he’s an attractive dude playing the gothic misguided character (serious cliche but highly effective)

-he’s one of the few characters with an interesting character arch (so far)

-he’s Lancelot (hello ladies man)

-he’s great with kids *swoon*

-and don’t get me started on that entrance in ep1 (the writers knew what they were doing)

I’m going to write another post at some point to address why I don’t think he is a toxic, manipulative character that just so happens to be romanticized because of looks (as is seen so far). So watch for that if that interests you. Post in Question

But to tie this off, Daniel Sharman is a fantastic actor and I hope we get more of him next season.

And, no, it’s not just because he is visually pleasing to the eye (but god bless guy liner)

I feel like the writers have suspended his meeting with Nimue to the point were we are all shipping the pair of them together, when it’s possible that they may have a different bond, closer to that of Lancelot and the Lady of the Lake in classic lore

But if they hook up I will still be very pleased ngl

Other things I really loved in this show:

-Pym (her time in the viking ship as a healer was prime humor) but I’m pissed she doesn’t end up with the hot viking because unlike our main couple of the show, these two had chemistry for the short scenes they shared together.

-Merlin (The moment I saw Gustaf Skarsgård in the trailer, I started the first ep. I loved him as Floki in Vikings and wanted to see him in other things) I was pissed that the writers made him seem... boring.

-I was happy with how Merlin opened up to us as a father to Nimue. Nimue just needs to get her shit together and learn from him because we all know she’s powerful, she just needs to work on it.

Watch the writers get lazy and just magically having her cast all sorts of powerful magic just because once upon a time she manipulated an apple tree

-SQUIRELL (I loved him from his first scene)

-the Widow! She was the perfect middle ground for a character and her voice was strangely motherly (and I LOVED IT!) While I know Morgana becoming the widow was a great power play and all that, I miss the original widow.

-Morgana’s general storyline was great considering what happens in the lore. I expected her to go evil the moment her sweet love (that poor nun!) came from the dead with burn marks and talked about being powerful. I’m glad they didn’t push that on her so quickly. They should let that storyline fester a bit more. She’s too great a character to turn to the dark yet (unless they pull a complete 180 of the Weeping Monk)

-Awesome baddies- And by that I mean Iris and the head monk that came to a very satisfactory end in ep 10. Also, props to the show for making the Pope a quick to anger tyrant and his second in command being a literal weasel. 10/10 villain act right there. With these villains in play, it’s easy for Weeping Monk fans to see the light in him, thus driving his character arch.

-The Christian themes. This may be surprising to some, especially if you are like me, a christian (I’m catholic). But honestly, I loved how they took snippets of Christian history and flipped it to create a complicated power in this show. By this I mean, the red monks act a lot like the holy orders in Catholicism back during the Crusades and the nuns act as healers and helpers to those that ask for sanctuary (the Abbess kept her mouth shut about Nimue, even when she was at risk) - thats what the core of Christianity is supposed to be, and I’m glad they made religion complicated through the monks and nuns.

-Red Spear/ vikings- cool concept to add vikings to the story and the red spear is a bad ass. I hope we dive further into her storyline next season (I expect so given the rumors I’m hearing about how she is supposedly Gwenevere)- If that’s true, I’m worried the writers are going to ruin the relationship G is supposed to have with Lancelot, solely because both characters are more Alpha energy than Beta, and we all know how that goes...

Maybe that’s why Red Spear’s interaction with Arthur was so great. He screams beta and I’m all for it.

#weeping monk #merlin #review #tv show #king arthur #lancelot #nimue #daniel sharman #katherine langford #cursed netflix

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ladyloveandjustice · 4 years ago

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And with that, we’ve reached the end of our Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer liveblog!

It’s really been a wild ride. Overall, I’d say this was a really solid action adventure manga and a good example of a shonen actually managing to pull off a strong ensemble cast. It managed to keep this very weird, wacky vibe throughout while strongly delivering on some more serious themes. The deaths and losses in the story all had weight, which ishard to pull off.

It was impressive that it ballooned up into having like, a main hero cast of 13 characters (plus animal mascots, plus antagonists, plus one posthumous character...) but all of them got at least a little screentime and development. The gender balance was pretty good for a shonen too, since of those 13, six were girls. And far from being sidelined from the action, all of them were at least on equal footing with the guys battlewise, with Sami and Anima actually being the most powerful characters by far! They also all felt fully realized as characters too and got development and stuff! That shouldn’t be notable, but it’s something that’s sadly pretty rare in action shonen, so yeah, I’m gonna note it!

(Also, Shimaki might be the first fat character I’ve seen in an action manga whose powers don’t revolve around his weight, and while there are a couple jabs at his expense, most of his screentime doesn’t either, instead focusing on how smart he is. A miracle.)

I mentioned this in the liveblog but I really like that while the manga very easily COULD have gone the direction a lot of stories go which is "we start out with a super powerful female lead and weak male lead, but naturally our male hero becomes more powerful than our female lead and thus is able to save her”, it very much did not go that route. While Yuuhi definitely got significantly stronger and more powerful and a lot of the manga was concerned with that, the end makes it very clear that he’s STILL nowhere near Sami’s equal when it comes to “power”, and what “saves” Sami is actually his willingness to emotionally support her, with the bonds they’ve made with their friends supporting them both! It’s a good message and strong emotional conclusion for both of them.

Though I enjoyed the manga, I wouldn’t be able to recommend it casually without going into the caveats, since this manga is heavy on the fanservice with its sixteen year old female lead, whether it’s with constant panty shots or just... randomly showing her at home in her underwear or whatever. It’s downright jarring in ways that damage the story at times, since panty shots will happen even during some important emotional moments. (It also has plenty of fanservice involving the adult women in the cast, but that’s at least a little easer to swallow). There’s also some really bad scenes of adult men (our protagonist included) being creeps/harassers to women, including to underage girls. This is heaviest in the early chapters and mostly fades once the plot really gets going, but still unfortunately makes some bizarre appearances even towards the very end when it feels the the characters should have developed past that.

It’s sad that this occasionally drags down what’s otherwise a really fun and sometimes meaningful story. True, I have quibbles- sometimes it did feel like the story had a hard time balancing all the plot threads and there were snags like the storyline with Yuuhi and his grandfather and the abuse not hitting the perfect note with me- but largely, it carried itself well.

From the beginning, I was charmed by the scrappy girl with the slasher smile declaring she’d crush the world in her hand, and I never stopped being charmed. It’s a story about overcoming despair, finding second chances, and learning to love this weird, wild world we live with all its highs and lows. It’s got fun action scenes, good art and very self-aware sense of humor.

There was a lot to dig into with it, and I hope you all enjoyed watching me grapple with it. I certainly enjoyed the experience. Big thanks to @liobi for sponsoring the whole shebang.

#nev reads lucifer and the biscuit hammer

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wlw-lovestruck-fiction · 4 years ago

Note

Onyx tells Mc she’s pregnant. They hosts a party for everyone to announce of Onyx’s pregnancy. How they announce it and how everyone react are up to you!

Written by @evoedbd

WARNINGS Mentions of abuse Mentions of miscarriage Potentially offensive attempts at humor

Chanouncement

Cali was good with weird. Completely fine. The last year had seen her life absolutely flipped on its head. Perhaps rolled over by a truck, chopped up, tossed into a woodchipper, fed to gulls, shat out across the country… the picture was quite morbid.

Cali had foolishly thought her life couldn’t get any weirder. After all, she was dating the nicer of two near identical twins, who both so happened to be supernaturally selected demon slayers. The “evil” twin had turned Cali into a well of Supernatural energy and used said power to give the demons a massive level up. That wasn’t all, she’d also watched said twin, whilst possessed, gut Onyx, the love of her life and watched Onyx emerge a dragon. If that wasn’t unusual and morbid enough, Cali had literally shouted her romantic love at a literal dragon, who had once been her five-foot nothing girlfriend. Cali had been dating a literal dragon. In love with a literal dragon. That should have topped the weirdness charts. But no, Cali had then become the next Envy herself, and thus the only human bridge between a mod girl reincarnated into a brown bear, and her dead girlfriend. If that wasn’t enough, she’d been part of a ritual to bring her girlfriend back into human form, and to top it off, Cali discovered that her blood was the literal key to her girlfriend’s soul and destroying it. Nothing too serious. Just casual lesbian disaster stuff. Only, neither she nor Onyx were actually lesbians. Both of them appreciated men. In the sexy way. In the “Onyx had dated a man who abused her until her twin sister had gutted him like a pig and stolen his supernatural powers”, way. That kind of bisexual… no wonder some people were a little intimidated by the Queer community. Between U-Haul lesbians not checking for demon possession and world ending bisexuals, that was all pretty scary.

Though not as scary as what she and her lady love planned to do. As fate would have it, if fate was a wonderful arsehole conscious, Cali had been delivered a further dose of weirdness in her unusual life. Weirdness in the form of her formerly dragon, formerly dead girlfriend discovering she was pregnant under the potent influence of ritualistic magic, which had restored her human form. Given that these circumstances would have been terrifying for anybody, even without the added fact that she was now vulnerable for a demon demi-devil’s possession and the prime target of an apocalyptic plot, it made absolute sense that Onyx was anxious. Cali had been there, she understood how end of the world pressure like that could mess with a girl, which was why it was imperative to bring the team up to date on the latest development… and no, that was not a kidney, not yet. Onyx wasn’t that far along.

So far, the plan of a joyful distraction had gone off without a hitch. The common area was alive with laughter flowing from the Sin Troupe. Alcohol flowed relatively freely, along with several bowls and bags of typical party food such as potato chips and popcorn. The floor was already littered with crumbs, mostly from the boys throwing scraps at Wrath between rounds of charades. One thing Cali had learned tonight was that for a group that entertained for a living, a group also responsible for concealing the fact the world was woefully fucked from the general population, they were horrific actors. Now the money and tickets made sense, for even the most deluded of fans would surely notice the cracks if it was left to their acting skills alone.

“Shaving! Um, WHIPPED! Oh! BDSM KINK SHAMING!”

“Moron.”

“Darius… how did you even get that from dancing?”

“Oh? That’s what it is? I thought Wrath was possessed.”

“She’s Britney Spears. Cal’s her circus boy.”

“Well we aren’t all DJs here, Malakai. How was I supposed to get that from whatever she and Cal were doing?”

Cali didn’t tune into the words after that. She was back to anxious, or perhaps the woman tucked under her arm was. It was difficult to tell with the bond so active, causing the teeth marks on her shoulder to burn with the heat of a dragon’s love. Try as she might, she was caught between two violent sensations. The magic of the mark; memories of heat as playful nips had become a serious bite, a possessive one from a Dragon unlike the world had ever seen, or ever would. It wasn’t like anybody had seen Onyx as a dragon… except two sold out nights of the Sin Circus, a carnival ground and a shopping mall full of super excited fans and everyone online. Ok, that was a lot of people who’d seen Onyx as a dragon. That could be a problem. Which led to the anxiety. The type which made sweat prickle in all the uncomfortable places and her stomach do terrified flips. She wasn’t even the pregnant one. Onyx had to survive a pregnancy, targeting and contain a literal dragon’s soul.

All Cali had to do was make the statement that she had an announcement to make like a normal human being. She had to ignore the sweat trickling down her palms, tickling every crease, and how her heart skipped several beats in the past minute; rushing faster and faster until she could hear in her ears when she closed her eyes. Slower Blinks. She had to be normal. Be normal. Be normal. Be normal.

All she had to do was make a single little announcement, that was admittedly life changing. It wasn’t like these people would judge. After all they were supernatural Demon assassins chosen by mystical powers based on the Seven Deadly Sins. If there was any group which were not judgemental it would surely be these people.

“I have channouncement to make.” she said with a rather high-pitched voice and a casual smile just a little too tight to be completely relaxed. In a room full of assassins she might as well have been waving a red flag saying terrified med school dropout alert. This was the time for the royal skill of fake it till you make it mixed with an impossibly large dose of denial. Anxious? Cali? Hah! No way. She had nailed it.

“What she means is we want to tell you something. Since we’re already playing charades, we want to try and see if you can guess.” Onyx chimed in, snuggling playfully under Cali’s arm. The mechanic grinned, letting her goofy affection conceal another wave of nerves. It was easier if she just stared at Onyx and let her face do what it would do. Give in to the muscles making her smile as she got lost in the most dazzling green eyes the world had ever seen. The dusting of blue eyeshadow really made those eyes pop, like emeralds offered to thieves on booby trapped pedestals. Hah, boobs! Cali liked those. Especially Onyx’s. No matter how Cali tried to avoid falling for the emerald trap, she found her gaze lingering, feasting on how the light shone across dark lashes and the rhinestone piercing just beneath Onyx’s right eye. It kept focus away from tender pink lips, from subtle little bites that portrayed a mix of excitement and nerves. Cali doubted the others would realise Onyx was anything other than playful. Afterall Onyx was a master of faking it until she made it, even to her closest friends. It showed in how loose her body was, how genuine her show stopping smile seemed. If Cali hadn’t felt the flickering within the bond, she may have bought Onyx’s act. That and the affection. How Onyx’s arm around her waist pulled that little bit too tight to be casual. Or how trimmed nails tried to dig into the grey fabric of Cali’s shirt; dragon talons clinging to the finest treasure. A scared girl seeking reassurance.

“Right. And to make it a team Envy experience, I’m going to tell Rip how to act.” Cali explained out loud, barely restraining her laughter as Ripley’s eagerness flooded her mind.

“Alright! I’m the best at charades! My acting is on point. Everyone thinks I’m a bear.”

Cali didn’t have the heart to tell Ripley that her “bear” act was entirely too adorable to be terrifying. Ripley may have the body of a bear, her soul, however, was still that of a tender human. Her soft eyes would strike terror into the hearts of the masses, along with her awkward attempts at snarls and finely groomed coat. Every gesture of her paws would see her painted pink claws drip sparkles, which admittedly might be horrifying to cishet folk. Ripley as always, was dressed for battle, wearing a fearsome checkered neck scarf, complete with an adorable little bow…truly, Ripley could intimidate the world into movies and cuddles. She could terrify little girls into dropping popcorn into her open maw as she scrolled an iPad and lamented the fashion she could no longer wear. She was oh so very, very terrifying. Cali had fallen for the bear terror for five seconds when they’d met, that was true. Then again, Cali had also believed Vinca a completely evil maniac who killed Onyx’s boyfriend, who was a loving and uplifting man, just to steal his powers and fuck with Onyx. She had assumed Dorran had loved and cherished Onyx until his dying breath. Cali had assumed Dorran had trained her, protected her, instead of abused her and hurled her at demons. Cali’s track record with assumptions was pretty horrific, actually. Horrifically awful.

She realised her lingering rage must have echoed through the bond when a soft touch to her forearm drew her attention. Once again, she was drawn into the trap of green, found herself beneath the crashing wave of Onyx’s gaze. This gaze, however, was different. It was sympathy and confusion, a jumbled mess of understanding which stood secondary to the fact Onyx wished to soothe. A small flick at the corner of Cali’s mouth let Onyx know the gesture was received, the storm had passed, at least for now. She didn’t need to keep her gaze on Onyx to know that the former Envy Assassin’s expression mirrored her own. Cheeky grins and eyes twinkling with mischief as Cali allowed her mind to sink into the images and emotions she needed to convey, needed Ripley to convey. Onyx was their awareness, her approval expressed in delighted cackles and birdsong laughter, by her touch on Cali’s arm shifting with her small body.

The bear started out stiff, walking in shorter, wider strides on hind legs as forelegs awkwardly extended before her in a zombie like attempt of curves. A few strides in, Ripley fell forwards, catching her weight on her forepaws, before attempting her waddling all over again. This time, poor Ripley tried to bring them to her back, only to manage to reach her hips; range of motion not allowing her any further. The awkward waddling, paws on hips appeared like something off a runway full of models who had indulged in too many illegal substances. The display had everyone howling with glee, even Ripley within the Envy Trio’s heads. Eventually, Ripley ceased the arms, instead waddling awkwardly around as crew shouted out their guesses.

“Zombies!”

“Onyx got a Runway offer!”

”Did you buy a petting zoo?”

Both Cali and Onyx laughed, shaking their heads to every shout. Ripley let forth a beastly groan as she lowered herself to the ground, then rolled onto her back. After some awkward shuffling, the bear eventually lifted her feet straight into the air, spread apart as far as her beastly hips would allow. The pose was awkward enough for a human, let alone a bear, with her little tail all fluffed up and her long arms gesturing in awkwardly small arcs across her rather fuzzy stomach.

“Onyx is getting a feature in a music video!”

“She’s designing for a dance studio!”

“Onyx has put on weight!”

“We’re meant to guess an announcement, moron, not state an obvious.”

“Cal, manners.”

“It’s true, she is a bit bulkier since she became human again.”

“You know, it’d be easier if you just told me what I was acting, instead of having me rolling around like a pregnant whale.” Ripley sighed through the bond, rising halfway before freezing. She seemed shocked beyond comprehension. Had she been human, Cali was sure Ripley’s face would have lost its hue. The Envy trio stared at each other. Onyx’s face had gone ashen with fright, concern filtering through her tight smile. Her apprehension flooded the bond, all her concerns jumbled together in a tide which threatened to wash both Ripley and Cali away. Fear that she might lose the approval of her sister figure. That she might garner disapproval or be judged for something beyond her control. That everyone would hate her. That she’d be alone again.

“Onyx is…?” Ripley’s question never came through completely.

The moment Cali realised what was happening, her mind was there. She stormed Onyx’s consciousness, shield raised to deflect every horrific thought and fear before she lashed out. Snapshots of fantasy, impossibilities given life for a few seconds. A scent more appealing and delicate than anything else the world could offer. Soft baby blonde hairs that appeared almost white against more tanned skin. Emerald green eyes glistening with nothing but utter adoration. The rush of family, how the feeling of their support could provide wings. Onyx, belly rounded, cheeks flushed and eyes twinkling with delight, toes kicking through a gentle stream. A loving smile from Vinca, the sharpness abandoned as she cooed over an innocent child. How tiny a child would be in Wrath’s large arms, yet how tender the brawler would be. Malakai’s warm smile as the baby traced his tattoos. Darius, dangling his chain just out of their reach as the babe giggled. Cal, strumming his guitar as the three men sung to the babe, who slumbered in an older Avi’s arms.

“Oh my god! Onyx is-” Again, Ripley never finished the though. Her eyes rolled backwards, almost as if she were being possessed in a hammer horror film. Her legs gave out, her body crumpled to the ground. Cali found herself swaying, her vision filled with black dots as the intensity of their emotions washed over the trio, sweeping them away in the tsunami. She clung to Onyx, fighting to keep the smallest Envy assassin on her feet. Onyx seemed to feel the same way, given how she clung tighter to Cali, preventing the Chinese woman from falling. A loud crash let Cali know that Ripley had indeed gone through the bowls of supplied snacks, along with the table they rested on. Chips flew everywhere, spraying across the penthouse along with shards of broken bowls. The laughter stopped, everyone half rising, half looking towards Cali.

“… That wasn’t part of the announcement.” Was the only thing Cali could offer to the expectant assassins. The room went eerily silent, enough that one might hear crickets chirping, or the din from the streets of Vegas echoing to the top floor of the hotel.

“She’s having a baby!” An entirely too cheerful voice broke the deafening silence, drawing everyone’s attention to Cal’s little boy. Avi stood in the doorway to the common area, his little yellow hood pulled up over sleep tussled black locks. His deep brown eyes shone like melted chocolate, filled with a tired child’s innocent delight and excitement. Cali couldn’t help but smile at the boy, giving him the smallest nod of approval, which only made him smile so delightedly that his white teeth stood starkly against his dark skin.

“How does that tie into O- oh…” Malakai started out confused, only for realisation to flood his rich eyes. His mouth fell open, brows arching towards his hairline as his gaze travelled between Avi, Cali then to Onyx. Cali couldn’t read him, couldn’t tell what that meant. Oh? That was ALL he had to say? Just oh? Oh, that was, OH, so very helpful.

“Oh?” Wrath began, her own eyes following the same path Malakai’s had.

“Ohhhhh…” She drew out, seeming to have reached the same conclusion he had. Cali felt herself bunch up, muscles rippling beneath her skin as if they were infected vines. Did they not realise what they were doing? Could they not see how Onyx shrunk away from them? Could they not tell how close to tears she was? It flooded Cali’s body, overwhelming her with its chill. As if winter had fallen for a thousand years across all her nerves until only an aching numbness lingered. The subtle tensions through her screamed her protective intentions as she angled herself defensively between the troupe and Onyx, shielding the anxious woman from such evident attention. If the troupe were going to hurt her, then they had better be prepared to face the wrath of Two Envy Assassins… or at least a sassy bike mechanic.

“Oh.” Wrath concluded. It was simple but telling, accompanied by the pinch of her brows. Confusion and consideration warred within her eyes, yet her face remained remarkably blank. It was enough to have Onyx’s breath escape shakily as she clung to Cali’s arm, squeezing until she was sure her nails would be biting through the colourful cloth of her hoodie. If Cali felt pain, it didn’t show, she simply stood silent. A guardian. A woman ready to fight tooth and nail to protect what she loved. The magic within her mark burned immensely hot, scorching Cali’s skin as its darkness flared, much like a panther swishing its tail in agitation. Despite everything, Onyx couldn’t help but lean closer, pressing her forehead into the mark she had left so long ago.

“Yeah. Big Oh.” Cal agreed, his own eyes shifting between everyone, calculating in his sharp, judgemental manner.

“A bad oh?” Cali challenged, unable to endure the strain of not knowing for a second longer. The calculating glances, the wide-eyed silence, everything screaming silent judgements. Cali couldn’t stand it, and if she couldn’t then she knew Onyx would be drowning. The blonde seemed to cower, tucking her head into Cali’s collar as the Asian woman unleashed her inner dragon upon every Assassin with a pointed glare. Cali’s arms encased Onyx, a fortress of flesh and bone protecting the scared princess. Despite her height, Cali found herself playing prince and dragon, both warring to keep the princess safe in their ways. It would be so easy to protect with nothing but love, to embody the princely hero and do no evil. Let the Princess make her own mistakes and swoop in to clean up the mess. However, Cali had always been more of a dragon. Someone to shield those she loved from harm with all her might, to try to prevent them ever leaving to make the mistake in the first place.

A universal flinch rolled through the Assassins, ricocheted like a bullet from Cal’s gun once they realised just how they had come across to the smallest yet brightest of their number.

“Girl, you’re gonna be a baby momma? I get to be an uncle?” It was Darius who brought the excitement. His seductive eyes shone with barely restrained glee; glee which bubbled through to his most dashing smile. His whole body appeared to vibrate, as if he was giving everything in order restrain himself. His glee was infectious, seeping into Cali’s muscles with a gentle warmth until they thawed. She allowed herself to relax a little, giving Onyx an opening to lift her head and give a shy nod. At that nod, sparks flew, igniting the warmth within every assassin. Darius practically flew forwards, wrapping his arms around Onyx and Cali in his excitement. Malakai was right behind him, scooping the three huggers into his humongous arms and giving a gentle squeeze. Finally, Onyx laughed with relief so potent it was as if the air itself heaved a sigh.

“I’m so happy for you.” Malakai whispered, lowering his head into the pack so that he could press an adoring kiss to Onyx’s cheek. Darius seemed determined to copy the gesture, planting his own lips to Onyx’s forehead in a few lazy pecks. Onyx giggled, squeezing whomever she could grasp. Cali didn’t kiss, not this time, she simply rested her forehead to Onyx’s temple, offering her own silent support.

“Congratulations, Onyx.” Wrath’s gentle voice was flooded with warmth, with unconditional love as she wrapped her own arms around the group, holding her team as if they may shatter under the intensity of her love. That thought was enough to make Cali smile. Wrath loved as she lived, hard and intense. When one had Wrath’s affection, they had the weight of her heart on their sleeve, the promise of an Arch Angel named for a sin. The warmth of Wrath’s hug was potent beyond the physical, it seeped into the soul. Wrath warmed from the inside out with her embrace, turning everyone mushy and relaxed. None relaxed further than Onyx, who trusted her weight to the men and women wrapped around her. Cali was perhaps the only one who denied herself the safety, instead raising her challenging glare to Caleb North. The only Assassin yet to give a reaction.

“Avi, cover your ears.” He finally began, letting forth a soft hiss of breath between his teeth. Long, callused fingers brushed through his supermodel locks, pushing them away from his glistening forehead as he waited for his ward to obey. Avi, innocently as ever, clamped his little hands over his twee ears. Only when Cal was sure that Avi was blocking his ears did the Sloth Assassin begin.

“I don’t understand how you’re all taking this so well. Especially you, Cali. Even a med dropout should -”

“I didn’t cheat!” Onyx’s outraged cry was enough to have everyone flinching. Onyx was a pool of wrath, sickly tar bubbling to a boil in a cauldron precariously positioned above the archway of a door. Or above the gates soldiers of shame might siege. Cali turned her focus back to Onyx, watching how her nostrils flared, reminiscent of her dragon form. Cali fancied she saw a haunted gleam in Onyx’s blazing green eyes, which had narrowed in utter fury, causing her piercing to gleam like a blade in the light. Gone was the whimpering, terrified maiden within that accusation. Onyx had already been that for two people. Now, Onyx stood confident, challenging the world instead of shying from an abuser. As terrified as she had been of her family’s reaction, Onyx was done running.

“I didn’t even think that!” Cal fired back, as if offended on Onyx’s behalf that such a thing were even considered. It was then Cali could see it. The concern waging war with cautious joy in his deep blue eyes. It was noticing that which kept Cali from lunging into the fray, instead giving Cal a chance to redeem himself in their eyes. Or dig his own grave.

“But pregnancy is stressful enough without adding demons, and the fact that you turned into a dragon! Ask yourself, with everything going on, is this really the time to start playing happy family? Is it safe? You see what I go through with Avi. What if you die, or die again in Onyx’s case? I’m worried about you. A child is a serious responsibility, not something to dabble with in the honeymoon phase of your re-“

“Honeymoon phase? That’s what you’re calling -” Cali fired up, her own dark eyes igniting with rage. Cal had dug his grave with construction grade machinery. She could feel the mark burning, instinctively knew it was the angriest it had ever been, as if rebelling along with the rest of her body. Her vision blurred, weakened legs causing her to half stumble. She could barely hold herself up, yet she wanted nothing more than to lunge at the Sloth assassin. Honeymoon phase? Is that what he thought? There was nothing honeymoon about dying! Nothing honeymoon about offering your soul to a lineage of power just to let the one you love have a single coherent thought!

“Enough.” Wrath didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t need to. The note of finality in her tone was more than enough to bring Cali’s instinctive outrage grinding to a halt long enough for her to take a soothing breath and blink away the haze from her vision. She felt Onyx do the same, even as Malakai, Darius and Wrath untangled from the cuddle huddle and respectfully gave the Envy assassins their breathing room.

“I think Cal is just as confused as we are as to how this happened.”

“The gay club doesn’t know?” Darius’ gasped interruption drew the eyes of the entire room, much like metal shavings to a magnet. Despite his crude wording, his shock that nobody else knew was evident, painted across his dashing face as if it were a canvas hanging in the Louvre.

“Darius. I’m not gay.” Onyx’s correction was gentle, delivered with an amused tilt to her lips.

“Errrmmmm, I’m bi.” Cali lifted a hand timidly, akin to how a child might raise it when unsure of the answer in class.

“I wasn’t invited to any club.” Malakai’s comment was delivered quietly, his brows arched in a mocking display of confusion. Wrath, dutiful as ever, simply crossed her large arms, muscles flexing deliciously with every subtle movement. Her head fell forwards, face meeting her awaiting palm as she bluntly informed everyone.

“There is no club.”

“Code then? So the Bi-bies are having a baby and broke the queer code? Like, aren’t don’t you queers have some form of secret club? How did the Lesbian not know? Aren’t you all meant to be experts on lady parts? Malakai might get a pass as a pan man. Queer people always seem to know everyone’s-”

“Darius.” Malakai began, stepping forwards. The sound of chips crunching beneath his boots was enough to draw a tiny snicker from Cali, though her amusement was quickly smothered by the exhausted frown on Wrath’s face. Her usually blazing eyes held poignant gleam. Something so deeply cut, as if her heart had once more been shattered. The mechanic didn’t even realise where Wrath’s mind had gone, not until she felt Onyx also tense beside her. Oh… that was too telling. The last time Wrath’s sexuality had come into the group, half the group had died. Her family had been torn apart as she helplessly cradled a broken heart heavy in a hollowed out chest. Darius had just toed a landmine; one he didn’t even realise he was prone to step on. Even Cal held his tongue, watching his leader with a softened expression that was all the more lancing. A joust of agony straight to Cali’s chest, or perhaps it was Onyx’s chest. At this point, it didn’t matter, both hearts beat to the same music, each complimentary and connected by the existence of music.

“Stop digging yourself into that hole, man, its deep enough.” Malakai concluded. Darius looked puzzled for a moment as he looked around the room before sudden realisation dawned in his eyes. Never had Cali seen him shuffle as awkwardly as he did then, steadfastly avoiding Wrath’s gaze.

“Right… but yeah, wow, congratulations baby girl, or baby momma now.”

“Thanks.” Onyx muttered, offering a small yet undoubtedly genuine flick of a smile.

“Cali, I gotta say, I did not peg you for… you know?” Darius powered on, earning several confused looks from the group. Genuine awe shone in his eyes, mixed with an overly heaped spoonful of respect. The concoction of emotions was potent, yet it only left Cali blinking in confusion.

“I do?” She drew the sounds out, shuffling awkwardly until she untangled herself from Onyx. With a flick of her chin, she attempted to clear a sweat slicked bang from her face, only to have it catch across her lashes. Her eyes watered, stinging with the saltiness of sweat, punishing her perhaps for not seeing what was going on. Where was Darius going with this?

“Like, wow. I guess we should have known you were packing from all the noise you two make, but I did not even notice.”

“Darius!” Onyx gasped, her tone scolding and scandalised even as the most awkward giggle imaginable bubbled in her throat. The beautiful slopes of her cheeks flushed brilliantly, showing through the layers of makeup in splotchy pinks. Only Cali knew that underneath, Onyx would be brighter than a tomato; her blush the embodiment of coals when left bare to the world.

“Noise? Packing?” Cali inquired, continuing to wipe at her offended eye as she tried to puzzle what Darius was saying.

“Like, your tuck job is insane! And it hardly looks like you’re wearing makeup at all! And your boobs, like, they look real, man.” He powered on like a trooper, gesturing to her chest area.

“Um… they are?” Cali’s questioning tone became even more befuddled. Why was he commenting on her chest? How did that tie into Onyx’s pregnancy? It was not like Cali was going to be providing breastmilk, so what else was she missing?

“Oh! I didn’t realise you were on treatments. That totally makes sense-”

“Hold on… do you think I’m-” Cali tried to interrupt. Treatments. Packing. Tuck job. Breast surgery. All of this pointed towards one thing.

“I’ve seen some bad tuck jobs in my day, I mean like, slipping from under the dress levels. Your tuck-”

“I DON’T HAVE A DICK DARIUS!” Cali shouted, sending the entire room into silence. Instantly, her hands flew to her mouth, covering it in utter shock at her own outburst. Embarrassed didn’t begin to cover it, she was utterly mortified. Both for her outburst and that her sex was even in question. Then, guilt washed over her. Guilt that she was embarrassed over an assumption, that she was even edging on potentially phobic behaviour. She had been born female; born the way she was meant to be as a person. That she was embarrassed as being mistaken for trans felt as if she was insulting the trans community somehow. That thought alone made her feel sick.

“…Oh.”

“We really needed to hear that. I don’t think downstairs heard you.” Cal’s particular brand of snark earned a soft snort from several people, which only made Cali’s cheeks burn hotter. Despite this, she uncovered her face, taking a deep breath before speaking.

“I’m not trans. Also, that is so rude! If someone is trans you don’t just casually tell them you’ve made them! That’s so hurtful! Come on, man.”

“Not cool, Darius. Not cool.” Malakai added. The other assassins nodded, murmuring their agreement.

“Then how are you two so loud? We’ve had to invest in earplugs, and your noise has chased off four girls this week!” Darius’ lament was met by a loud scoff from Cali.

“Seriously? That’s what you meant by noise, Darius? You’re Lust, literally, and can’t think how to get loud without a …?” She trailed off, making several awkward gestures with her hand. Her fingers curled, forming a loose cupping shape as flicked her wrist back and forth, hand around the height of her stomach. Her gesture didn’t last long before Onyx’s shoulder playfully bumped into hers, earning a playful tap in return as the women swayed into one another.

“There have been noise complaints… and a cleaning bill for the elevator. Also, a note to visit lost and found. Something about clothing?” Wrath dutifully informed, fighting off the dusting of pink across her cheeks as valiantly as she could. Several pairs of eyes fixed upon Onyx, who suddenly seemed to shrink into Cali’s side. The Chinese woman felt Onyx’s body heat up, enough that she was convinced steam should have been hissing from Onyx’s ears like smoke from a coal train. In the heat of the moment, neither Cali nor Onyx had stopped to think about anything save each other. Clothes had been abandoned across Vegas, and the elevator… the memory of trees flooded the bond. Onyx climbing Cali like one. The dirt filled roots of the tree Onyx had gifted Cali when she was a dragon. Innocence and seductive depravity bubbled within the bond, only increasing the heat in both their faces.

“Can I be dead again?” Onyx squeaked, covering her face with Cali’s hoodie. The idea of Onyx dying again was agonising, enough that a sharp retort bubbled on the tip of Cali’s tongue. She swallowed it, pushing her tongue down into the cavity of her jaw to resist crying out. If she was in the position of being told to retrieve her clothing from lost and found, Cali probably would have felt the same way.

“Hold on. I thought we were discussing how Onyx got knocked up.” Darius cut in. Instantly, Cali was conflicted. His bluntness was a smack on the snout, though it did save them from a far more awkward conversation.

“Darius…” Cal’s hissed warning was enough to send a chill through the room.

“Which we are all crazy happy for, baby girl, but it is a big change.” The Lust assassin continued, earning a loud snort from Onyx.

“Yeah. Tell me about it.”

“She didn’t cheat, and we didn’t exactly plan for it. Nahara told us there could be a cost for restoring Onyx to her human form. The possibilities included a physical manifestation of the bond between the barer of the mark and Envy.” Cali explained. She stepped up a little, moving to wrap her arm securely around Onyx’s shoulders. Such lithe shoulders, despite their muscle, that bore the weight of the world. Such smooth skin beneath her fingertips as she massaged the curve of Onyx’s far shoulder, trying to ease even a fraction of her burden. Cali’s fingers traced odd patterns, even tickling down the divots of Onyx’s muscled biceps.

“Which arguably could be you. You’re both now, Cali.” Malakai commented, tone thoughtful. His dark eyes narrowed, as if he could read the answer from the bare air if only he focused hard enough. A large hand came to his strong chin, scratching at it thoughtfully.

“That’s what I thought too, but…” Cali trailed off, turning her gaze to Onyx. This was too close to Onyx’s demons, to the secrets she still kept. Cali desperately wanted to speak, yet she found herself tongue tied. Lost in the pain she saw in bright green eyes. Lost in her own loyalty. Could she even physically make herself betray Onyx in this way? Was it a betrayal to reveal the rest of what had been said? Internally, she pleaded, letting her emotions touch the bond between the Assassins. She needed Ripley to validate her, needed Onyx’s consent and understanding. She was falling, plummeting off a cliff with no wings to fly and no claws to cling to the stone she might be able to reach.

“She also mentioned something from the past could return to my future… well, our future.”

The moment the words left Onyx’s mouth, a soft grunt from the table drew Onyx’s attention. Ripley had managed to work herself into a sitting position, something which Cali found rather comical. The bears legs were spread apart, much like an awkward toddler, whilst her back was ramrod straight, akin to a woman forced into an impossibly tight corset. Ripley didn’t flood the bond with her words, she simply watched and listened, apparently trying to understand the responses from Wrath and Cal.

“From the past? When wer-“

“Dorran. Those weeks he increased your training.”

“WEEKS?” Cali exploded, viciously demanding an answer. Everything was red, hazy and hot, as if she’d been looking into the sun too long. Even behind her closed eyes, circles and swirls of color danced across her vision, hammering in time with her racing heart. This was worse than when she’d ridden her bikes to exhaustion or suffered sunstroke. Worse than the migraines that had occasionally followed. This was all of them at once, assaulting her body until only Onyx’s deceptively strong arm around her waist kept her standing. There was no question of whether or not she’d collapse, Onyx wouldn’t allow that, but the intensity burning through her was enough to make her remaining words slurred, gasped out between clenched teeth.

“He did that for weeks until h-” She never finished. Images assaulted her, striking her like books falling from a shelf above her head. An exhausted Onyx offering her best effort of a reassuring smile. She could take it. The deep barking voice. She’ll never learn if you don’t push her. How could she? Onyx wasn’t an assassin! She was barely on her feet. Its ok, Ripley, I can take it. Obedience… denied. She couldn’t. Not anymore. That harsh voice. Then I’ll do it myself. Go be useful. Hospital. Sirens. All my fault. All… Ripley. These were Ripley’s memories. It was sickening to realise this. Ripley had been part of it, she’d been right there and had trusted her leader. Trusted Dorran to protect Onyx. That sick man had used her connection to Onyx as a tool, had weakened Onyx with someone she loved unconditionally first… Cali’s tongue was bathed in bile, hot and thin, save for the chunks of chip swimming in the liquid. Dorran hadn’t even been man enough to do all the work himself. He’d manipulated Ripley too. With a soft snarl, Cali swallowed, refusing to let herself become any weaker than she felt in her directionless rage.

“Your abusive ex physically beat you into hospital? And caused a miscarriage? And nobody knew you were pregnant or that he was abusive? What the hell? Cal? Wrath? I though you two were assassins! How could you not realise what that piece of shit had done?” Gone was Darius’ amusement. His voice was raspy in his rage, scratching his usually chocolaty vocal cords. His eyes, which were usually dark, appeared almost black. Made of shadows and rage. He was half Wrath’s size, but the intensity of his demanding glare cowed even the brave leader, who was working her jaw in effort to find even a syllable of an answer. Tears dripped from the corners of her eyes, trailing openly down her cheeks as she allowed her gaze to fall to the toes of her bright red boots. Wrath, who was so strong, could barely stand under the weight of her guilt. Her shoulders shook, slouched in defeat. She may have been their leader. She may have been able to punch the devil out of every man, woman or child she met, but she couldn’t fight off the most horrific truth yet. She had nothing. No answer to give. No justification, even to herself.

“That’s why Vinca killed him, isn’t it? She knew about the pregnancy when that accident put you in hospital. Remind me to send her a gift basket.” Cal didn’t have an answer either, but he pushed on. His own eyes bore an unnatural sheen, one Cali quickly realised were tears. He was close to crying in his outrage. An assassin he may have been, but he was just as helpless now as when he had been possessed. Forced to watch the past rolled out in painful memories. For all the people he had saved, he was clearly struck by the potential he had failed. The possibility he had never even known about. Someone he would have loved with his whole heart, even if it was a lump of coal, and yet was powerless to protect.

“Does she know about the baby?” Wrath barely got the question out before Darius was there, snarling once again.

“Like hell.”

“With Nitsa inhabiting her? After she got my blood? We barely got Rip back, we can’t risk it. I’m not even sure if we should let Yvette know. I’m sorry, Onyx, but until Vinca is safe, I don’t want to risk either of you. I don’t want to control you, or keep you caged, but-” Cali’s imploring was cut off by Onyx’s finger across her lips, silencing her with the gentlest of touches.

“I know, you’re looking out for me. You’re not him.”

“Needless to say, Rip and I will be protecting Onyx, so we won’t be out with you. I also really don’t want Onyx combat training, or up on the highwire.”

“Cali…” Onyx playfully whined, fixing Cali with her best attempt at Puppy Dog eyes. Internally, Cali swore up a storm, using words she was sure even Darius would blush at. The bike mechanic forced herself to gaze into them, willed herself not to crumble at the adorable attempt. If Onyx was bad, how was her child going to be? The idea of baby Onyx alone had Cali cooing, turning into a pile of Oriental mush. If she hadn’t developed an immunity by the time they learned this trick… suddenly, she found herself incredibly hopeful that Onyx could be the strict parent, because Cali could already foresee ice cream for dinner. But to get there, she had to get over this current hurdle. The hurdle of Onyx’s adorableness amped up to a million and directed at her.

“Yeah, no. Sorry. Drop out Doctor’s orders. No being ten foot in the air while pregnant.”

“But the show-”

“Will be there when you’ve had your baby and are ready to return. Your health, and the baby’s health, come first, Onyx.” Wrath reminded; her tone gentle but leaving no room for negotiation. She offered a gentle smile, tears still glistening in her eyelashes. Her warmth was back, encompassing the room with a calming presence. It was enough for Cali to relax, to finally let go of everything and trust her team. These assassins were family. Onyx’s family. Her family. No matter what, she knew they would do their best to protect one another. That they’d die before allowing anybody to harm the baby. That they’d go to the depths of hell, following after Wrath’s angelic aura, to save each other. That’s just what this family did.

#answered #Anonymous #miscellaneous monday #onyx wren #onyx x mc #sin with me onyx #sin with me envy #swm envy #mentions of abuse #mentions of miscarriage #tw pregnancy #swm baby announcement

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #315

“can’t breathe to scream / suffocating in this dream / long way down”

Who was your first big crush? I would probably say this guy in high school named Sebastian. We sat beside each other in Art, and I definitely liked him a lot. Man, my freshman-sophomore years honestly involved a handful of crushes before Jason popped into the picture and I lost all romantic interest in everyone else. Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? N/A Is it a blue sky outside right now? No. All North Carolina has known for weeks on end now is rain. We've had very rare sunny days, but for the most part, it's just gray and gross. Was your last breakup a bad one? Nah, I'd say it ended maturely and with a mutual understanding of "why." When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Hell if I know. Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Yeah, like strawberry. What was the last sitcom you watched? No clue. ^ Do you have a favorite character in that sitcom? Why is that character your favorite? N/A What does the last group you joined on Facebook concern? I am 90% sure it was this group I joined that is literally just about cute yet dangerous animals lmao, mostly reptiles and invertebrates. "Misunderstood biteybois and where to befriemd them" or some stupid shit like that. Has there been a spider in your house at any time recently? Not that I've seen, no. Do you like wearing make-up? Not at all. I only like wearing it for pictures and then taking that shit off. ^ If so, how old were you when you first started to wear it? I started consistently wearing it my freshman year of high school. Then some time later I just showed up one day without any, shocked all my friends, and then only wore it when I felt like it. What foods are you craving lately, if any? Nothing, really. What were some of your favorite foods as a child? Chicken nuggets of course, as well as spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, just the typical stuff that kids tend to enjoy. When you were younger, did you ever have a friend that your parents hated? No. Have you ever talked in your sleep before? That's very normal for me, especially now that I have nightmares like every goddamn night. What was the last song you heard, that reminded you of someone? Well, not a real someone, but "The Ordinary World" by the Hit House is 110% one of Fetch's soon-to-be themes. What has brought you joy today? Nothing brought me "joy," really. When was the last time you won a prize in a raffle? What was it? I actually recently won an art rafle on deviantART hosted by a truly amazing artist, like I thought I had no chance, and she's going to be drawing Moondust!!!! :'''') What is the next non-essential item that you intend to buy for yourself? I'm still paying the bulk of my tattoo in May. Is there anywhere in your town/city that's rumored to be haunted? Oh, I'm sure. When you were younger, did you ever think that a certain place was haunted? Bitch I still do lmao. What were your school meals like? Did you enjoy them? This really depended on the menu for the day. My school lunches were nowhere near as bad as some people make theirs sound, but most things still weren't great. I think school pizzas are the most notoriously bad. What kind of granola bar did you eat most recently? I had a cashew bar earlier today. Do you have any books on your shelf that you've read multiple times? I never reread books. What did your last post on social media concern? That I personally wrote, something regarding subtle racism still being racism, pretty much. How do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: PETA, abortion…) I have mixed feelings on this. Like sometimes seeing the brutal side of certain things is definitely useful in opening someone's mind to things they don't want to see/think about, but then there's that, too: it can just be so invasive and unexpected, and thus very upsetting and even scarring. I'd say I'm most for the "appropriate" social media route: using censorship that the viewer can decide whether or not to remove. But you obviously can't do that in like, a public protest with a sign, so idk. Which is harder for you: writing creatively or academically? Honestly, both are pretty easy for me. I enjoy writing creatively far more, though. Do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea? I think it's fine to have them as an option. When was the last time you voluntarily went outside of your comfort zone? Just talking about stuff in group therapy recently. Would you ever use a dating site that costs money, like Match.com or eHarmony? Have you known anyone who had good experience with such sites? No, and yes. Do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making YouTube videos? Yes? It takes charisma and talent in some area (humor, education, etc.) as well as consistency for it to be a reliable career, and just consider how often you hear about creators burning out. That happens for a reason. Entertainment is a valid job category and should not be seen as an unfair joke. Whether you’re in college or not, do you become fearful about whether or not you’ll find a good job? Story of my life. What is something you can only understand if you've experienced it first hand? Deep heartbreak. Do you think it's a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it's assault? Obviously. Abuse knows no gender, and hitting another person is just that. I do, however, believe in self-defense, also regardless of gender. In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important... Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. This requires too much thinking, haha... but I do know the quality of my honeymoon would be most important to me, given that that's personal time with my new spouse and not a public celebration. I feel like what goes on behind closed doors is more important and heartfelt than how you act publicly. Do you have a go-to small talk conversation topic? Probably video games or music, idk. Define "small talk." Does anyone owe you money? Do you owe anyone money? (Besides credit cards) Mom does. She just a few days ago had to borrow $100 for rent. If someone was going to buy you any practical gift (anything except a house or car), what would you choose? It'd be dope as fuck if someone could pay for Venus' next terrarium, but that's a big purchase that I'd have a hard time accepting. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? At least one, but her name is spelled differently. What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? I'm not sure, but I can tell you that "When It's Love" by Van Halen has always been high on the list for me. Was your mother married when she had you? No, actually. I thought she was until my most recent bday, I think. It was just part of a conversation. How old was the first person you kissed? He was a few months into 18. The first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them? Of course, he's a sweet guy. We don't talk or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That'd be pretty rad. What are you listening to at the moment? "Long Way Down" from the The Evil Within soundtrack. It's funny, like I've loved the game for many years, but I'm now in a serious semi-obsession phase after watching another let's play of it. Have you read the The Hunger Games trilogy? I only read the first book. I loved it, but just never continued. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Who is the person you dislike the most? That I personally know, probably a former best friend, oddly enough. Do you text your parents often? If Mom's not home, it's not unusual for us to text. I don't text my dad much because he's not a fan of texting. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Pretty much always. Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Sara, my aunt, and my cousin. Those are the ones I know of, anyway. Do you currently have any alarms set? No. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Barely even two. If someone else is here, they usually just park where the road meets the sidewalk of the cul-de-sac. Do you have the ashes of a family member or a pet? Of my dog Teddy, yes. Have you ever been involved in a car crash? Yes, as a kid. Do you prefer flash or no flash on a camera? Definitely no flash. It's more natural, and especially with people, it obviously prevents red eye. How often do you use hashtags? Just about never. Have you ever had whiplash before? No. Have you ever given another person or an animal a bath before? Pets, yes. I could never bathe another human. Is there a birdbath in your yard? No. Weirdest place you’ve ever had a cramp? Nowhere weird, I think... How many lamps are in the room you’re in? How many are actually turned on? Technically three, if you count my snake's heat lamp. Right now that's the only light that's on. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Yeah, reading comes to mind first. Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you're looking forward to? I'm not up-to-date on this stuff at all, not even video games. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? I know Girt's recommended me music I haven't been a fan of. We like the same general stuff, but there are specific sub-genres we differ in opinion about. Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth? ... There are people who do this to even know in the first place??? What is the last thing you ate? Popcorn. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? Sara. Do you know how to grill a steak? I don't know how to cook, period. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog currently, but Mom is looking for one pretty intently. We don't know the size it'll end up being. Do you like walking places? Absolutely not. I can't walk far at all without my legs starting to scream at me because leading such a sedentary lifestyle led to muscle atrophy in my legs. It's incredibly embarrassing. Are you a fan of bands most people don’t know of? That's not uncommon for me. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It's deeper than the average woman's. Do you have a pool? No, but I really, really want one... Given how easily I sweat, I would love to use swimming to strengthen my legs. I could also stop the very moment I feel I need to; it in general sounds like something I could quite easily do. How many times have you been on a plane? Ummm including the trips going back, at least six times. Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh my gooooood, if you haven't tried Ben & Jerry's "phish food"... fucking try that shit. It is innnnnncredible. Do you have a TikTok? Nope. Do you enjoy driving? Fuck no I don't. Your favorite store as a teen? Hot Topic was and still is my fave, ha. Favorite YouTuber? There's this one called Markiplier that I think's pretty cool. How many online accounts do you have? A LOT. My whole life is essentially on the computer, so... .-. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Quite the opposite. Do you collect quarters from every state? No. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Not since we moved into this place. When you were little did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney probably topped Nickelodeon. I didn't watch much CN. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Either my niece or nephew when saying bye. Have you ever seen a magic show? Yes, as a kid. I even had a magician for my bday once. When was the last time you vomited and why? It's been a year or so. It would've been a side effect of starting a certain med that I didn't stay on because it so consistently made me sick. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Either in my bed (I know) or at the dinner table if Nicole is here to eat with us. What time do you usually go to sleep at night? It's typically around 7:30-8:30, occasionally a bit later. I can't believe as a teen, it was my "rule" that I couldn't go to sleep before 10:30 because it was "too early." Nowadays, I can barely imagine regularly staying up that late. Do you avoid using public restrooms? As best as I can. I've seen some nasty shit. What’s your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. How basic.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''long way down'' - the evil within ost

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

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February 26: 2x08 I, Mudd

Finally getting to this week's episode of TOS.

I remembered I, Mudd being basically fun but not exactly my favorite, and that's still my feeling.

This is the angriest I've ever seen Spock. "Labels do not make arguments." And then how McCoy realizes as soon as he gives his impression of the android how badly he's fucked up but he just has to keep digging that hole.

McCoy commits a micro-aggression lol.

And when Spock talks about McCoy's "beads and rattles"--that voice is 100% the tone Vulcans used to use before they killed someone.

That android looks so familiar. I guess he's not actually a common ST actor but he looks a lot like the common ST background actors.

"Scotty, the intruder's in your area" while Scotty's already on the floor. He got the memo.

"Tell security we found the intruder." We know the situation isn't that serious because Kirk still has a sense of humor.

I like that Spock appreciates that the android doesn't refer to Spock as part of "humanity." And he's definitely interested in the android.

I feel like it shouldn't be this easy to get control of a Federation star ship. Like Mudd is NOT that smart.

I can't believe Spock's first instinct is to try to meld with the machine. Stop being such a slut, Spock.

"He appears to have turned himself off."

Right there on the bridge!! Where he just stands in front of the doorway for 4 days, the least convenient spot.

Kirk is so relaxed about this mission. The ship's been captured and is rigged to blow but oh well! "We're going on a trip." "A gracious invitation." It's like he can already sense this episode is going to be nonsense all the way down.

JAMIE. How dare??

The last time we saw Mudd, Kirk was volunteering to be a character witness for him. Oh where did it all go wrong?

Spock is "ill equipped to appreciate" the ladies. Makes him sound gay.

How much do I LOVE that the VULCANS caught Mudd? He tried to steal Vulcan IP and they didn't like that. I want to know everything about Vulcan society tbqh.

So gross how obvious it is that Mudd is fucking the androids.

The irony of Mudd's situation: a prisoner who can have whatever he wants, but still a prisoner.

Kirk is not amused by the sexist wife android.

This is basically What Are Little Girls Made Of? but like.. not as good.

Kirk doesn't like androids, clearly.

This whole bit about how Uhura could live forever in an android body... First, her interest in the pretty girl androids is very Gay. Second, interesting that this is appealing to her? Third, so this is Dollhouse but with androids. And finally... I feel like this is very not in keeping with the rest of the universe. Like nothing else they can do is on the level of making people immortal. It's such an outlier skill/offering.

Replacing the Enterprise crew with androids--Kirk doesn't like that.

Better than Leningrad...

I am intrigued by the concept that the androids both want to serve and want to study people. Like it does make sense, they can't serve if they don't understand, but it has just that little bit of subtle creepiness to it, which I appreciate.

Kirk cannot be bought. I love episodes where everyone else is, to some extent, tempted by something, like utopia or soft animals or android servants, and Kirk is just like "I'm already living my best life as Captain of the Enterprise so thanks but no thanks."

Spock stepping in to this conversation just reads to me like the smart kid in class waving his hand to answer a question. Like he was not involved in this but he hears a question and he must answer it. "I know what human unhappiness is!! I know!"

THE ENTERPRISE IS A BEAUTIFUL LADY AND WE LOVE HER.

There is nothing tougher to overcome than a sense of purpose. Love that line. Honestly, among other things, I think it describes Kirk and his heroism well. He has a sense of purpose!! And he cannot be swayed.

And now the androids are becoming more like the threatening robots you expect: humans are imperfect/flawed/lacking in logic, can't be trusted to roam free, but are easily pacified with baubles and shiny things, so the robots will make everything better by simply distracting them with whatever they might want, thus saving them, and the universe, from themselves. “You species needs our help…We shall take care of them You will be happy and controlled.”

I wonder a little bit if this is what happened to the Makers. Like, I know their official cause of death was Exploding Sun/old age…but as my mom pointed out, if the robots DO have the ability to grant immortality in the form of robot bodies, why didn’t the Makers take it? Because the robots made life boring?

Kirk admits to no longer be amused. Uh, yeah, this USED to be hilarious, but is it still hilarious? No.

Pointy-eared thinking machine. YOUR pointy-eared thinking machine, specifically.

Kirk and Spock are operating like a hive mind.

Spock would NEVER sell false patents to Amanda, she is awesome.

And now we’re officially in “Kirk versus the machine and Kirk wins” territory. I do like this type of narrative, so this isn’t a complaint.

Finally, he’s fully enjoying himself too.

I love the fake out with Uhura “betraying” them.

…Okay this is just wacky lol. That’s my only commentary.

Can you imagine the Vulcans seeing this? Not only are the humans acting strangely but SPOCK is too. He’s playing along with the fun and games! How weird of him.

And the head of the androids bites the dust, done in by the old “liar lies” conundrum.

The satisfaction Kirk gets from saying "I am not programmed to respond in that area."

And now he gets to listen to the soothing sounds of Bones and Spock gently mocking each other.

Some of Mudd’s androids have the same dresses as the women in Mudd’s Women.

Not super keen on Mudd's eternal punishment being having to live with many versions of his irritating wife.

And that was the ep. I don’t have much else to say about it. I think What Are Little Girls Made Of? did the androids who’ve outlived the civilization that made them concept a lot better, and overall, as far as sci fi narratives go, this ep didn’t contribute much of anything that hasn’t been said or done before. Not that every story has to be ground breaking, but I just mean, as a sci fi story, it wasn’t fantastic, and as a humorous story, it was… decent, but maybe not as much my thing? I don’t know. Surreal.

It does bother me that we never find out how Norman got on the Enterprise in the first place lol. Like, does Starfleet not have security measures? Can anyone with a uniform just beam right on?

Next ep is Metamorphosis, which, while it does have some uh problematic gender stuff, is also all about LOVE and has my favorite Kirk speech in it so it’s one of my faves.

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek tos #2021: star trek #star trek tos

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astrologysvt · 5 years ago

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Chart First Impressions: Wonwoo

For more SVT astrology posts, follow my blog! Check out my masterlist to see all the readings I’ve done so far and what I’ve got coming up! 💫

This is just a very general reading of the member’s charts — the parts that popped out to me, things I personally liked, things I thought were interesting or contrary to the image I have of them. I’m not looking at anything in particular with each reading. Some of their readings may be more aspect focused, where some may just focus solely on their personal planets and their signs. If you have any questions on specific aspects or want to request a more specific reading, feel free to send me an ask!

lets all thank wonwoo for giving this air dom group the water it needs

our little cancer bb

he’s so sweet

may be more emotional than he lets on

certainly very sensitive to everyone around him and a lot more of a stabilizing factor in seventeen’s dynamic than he may come across.

not just because of how calm a person he is, but because he’s very in touch with what the other members are feeling and will direct his attention where he feels it’s needed, even if it’s just subtly walking over and putting a hand on their shoulder.

not only that but with such a strong-willed, high-energy group of people like svt, it’s good for them to have that little bit of water in there to absorb those super high frequency fire and air energies lmao.

the general feeling in a group that wonwoo offers brings that little bit of stability and serenity you need when you’re surrounded by a group of people who are looking to really and seriously make you think.

like at a party, if you’re feeling overwhelmed you’re gonna find water-sign wonwoo in the corner so you can sit with him to recharge.

homebody af.

i’m going to get A LOT into how dedicated and detail-oriented wonwoo is -- that all still stands but you need to understand.

cancers and leos have SUCH a lazy streak. they’re so capable but they take their comfort seriously.

so as hardworking and capable as this chart may dictate, he takes his leisure just as seriously as he does his work.

def a drama queen thanks to all of that LEO.

i think that there is a lot about wonwoo that is so signature wonwoo that’s so NOT stereotypical leo.

like his cold look, the deadpan humor, and generally his appreciation for the more serious things.

but then all that leo comes in and just, makes him the most dramatic and silly guy on the planet.

when he all of a sudden decides to yell, or in svt club when they were talking about how dramatic he acts when he pretends to be upset.

oh, or when he makes a joke and looks at his members desperately trying to get a reaction/approval.

that’s his leo side of him.

not to mention how great of an actor he is -- his tendency for dramatics and creative expression come from his leo, but his ultra empathetic cancer sun helps him express sincerity.

he would make a great actor, we all know it and i do not doubt it for a second.

but let’s take a look at his chart because he has a super interesting one.

cuz hey ya’ll we got ourselves a .・゜゜・　kite　・゜゜・．

his leo mercury forms a grand trine with his aries saturn and sag pluto

his mercury is opposite his aqua uranus

and his uranus is sextile both his pluto and saturn

making a beautiful .・゜゜・　kite　・゜゜・．

they’re super easy to spot cuz they look like a kite and often times indicate a great talent and huge potential as indicated by the planets involved.

to break it down

trine aspects are super harmonious, meaning that the two planets that are meeting in this trine freely and easily offer energy to each other.

these are aspects of our personality we are naturally good at.

the stuff we hear second-hand from others because we simply aren’t aware we’re doing them.

for example, someone with a moon trine mars wouldn’t understand people with overly short tempers who are ultra sensitive.

mainly because their emotions are harmonious with their sense of action/anger. they simply do not feel any tension in that area of their life and thus, seldom experience bursts of anger.

for wonwoo, his grand trine indicates that there are THREE areas of his life that easily flow energy to each other and those would be: communication, discipline, and transformation.

this can mean a lot of things.

his saturn trine mercury means that he’s an organized and detailed-oriented person.

it can be one of the reasons he appears so deadpan and levelheaded -- it’s because he’s so practical in his thinking and planning that, often times, he sees no need to act dramatic unless called upon by the situation. he simply isn’t surprised by outcomes because he either predicted them, or is taking them as they come and actively thinking through solutions.

which is why his outbursts are very calculated and mainly used to be funny.

his communication skills are clear and concise, and this can certainly rope in why exactly he loves books and is so well spoken.

it’s because he very clearly understands and feels the weight in words, and understands how to manipulate them in order to convey a message.

this also makes him very aware of how other people use language. he’d definitely see it as an art/skill, and be extra appreciative of when people are great writers.

his saturn trine pluto amplifies this ultra resourceful and organized persona he’s got going on.

it tinges this aspect of him a little less militaristic and more compelling and magnetic.

he’s extremely persuasive when he needs to be.

not only that but his sense of purpose is multiplied. it’s definitely not on the same level as say i think a more purely capricorn energy like seungkwan or seungcheol’s

he isn’t holding himself to this incredibly high standard that’s daunting him in every move he makes, but he definitely feels a lot of purpose in his actions.

if he goes out of his way to do something, there is a reason.

i think especially when he makes his long posts on fancafe, he’s so charismatic and genuine and you feel the need to make note of what he says, the timing, and the purpose because it’s wonwoo.

that’s that energy.

mercury trine pluto again makes him very well spoken, a very targeted, no nonsense individual when he needs to be (though do not get me wrong, the leo in him is naturally super super silly).

pluto almost adds a hint of obsession to everything it touches, which can make wonwoo that guy who stays up all night researching something or breaking apart in his mind something that may have happened. he likes understanding every bit of what happens and why.

pluto would also add this sense of secrecy and intimidation, which again adds his image of being that deadpan guy.

but noooooow we add in those sextiles.

sextiles are very similar to trines meaning that they are very harmonious.

however, as opposed to a trine, sextiles need to be developed a bit more to be able to fully reap the positive benefits.

now we have uranus sextile saturn and pluto.

uranus as a planet is the reformer. they’re the innovators, the “take the path less traveled”, the avante garde planet.

it’s a very powerful planet because of how uniquely and off-beat their mind works, and when you pair that with the intensity and depth of pluto you get something that’s really fascinating and eye-catching.

his saturn sextile uranus makes it so he’s capable of letting people into his vast world. he strives to understand and create so much and saturn brings a sense of reality/possibility that allows him to bring people into his vision.

he really doesn’t let us into this side of him but i sincerely hope that, years and years later, he somehow manages to become a writer or something like that. there is SO MUCH depth to him and he is certainly very capable.

and now we get into the opposition.

as i said before, a grand trine and even sextiles are super harmonious signs and often times connote a sense of ease and even laziness.

they are naturally good at it so it can bring a sense of “i’m already good at this so why bother”

that or the idea of developing and really putting these skills to good use may fly COMPLETELY under the radar because they are simply unaware they’re capable of such things. or maybe they do know, but it comes so easily to them they have no idea how to call upon those skills on command.

that’s where the uranus opposite mercury comes in with this kite.

without tension and without friction there is no growth.

the opposition between uranus and mercury creates that tension and brings awareness to the ways these skills may be used

the opposition in general makes him super quick-witted but also very temperamental. his attention is super fickle.

his kite comes to full fruition once he learns to reign himself in and commit his mind to a single idea.

generally, for wonwoo this can mean that he sees communication (mercury) as his tool in order to bring a sense of change and innovation (uranus) and he’ll be successful at this because of his harmonious aspects.

and i think the best part about the uranus influence is, although they’re very individualistic, they’re sincere hope is to make the world a better place as cheesy as it sounds.

they’re goals are big in that they want to bring a positive impact to a lot of people may it be an industry, community, or even country.

which is why i imagine wonwoo is very satisfied being in the position he is in now, where he’s able to be a source of inspiration and happiness to so many people even if it is just for a short period of time for those specific people.

not to mention his cancer influence, who would see a great deal of value in being a place of rest and comfort for other people.

#seventeen #svt #wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #ugh he's so soft

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