#there's a dramatic ending with the jester saving your life but it comes at a price of merging with inktrap

[naffeclipse]

I don't know when I'll ever write this, but I've had this AU in the back of my mind ever since Bendy and the Dark Revival came out, and it's best to get it out of my head before it festers and rots.

More or less, it's BatDR and the DCA smashed into one. The premise is that you are an animator at Fazbear Studios and Sun and Moon are humans who go by Cyrus and Mani respectively, employed as voice actors. (First AU with human Sun and Moon whoo! don't get attached though) Vanessa is a janitor who is a bit odd, mostly keeping to herself though sometimes you feel like she's starting at your back when you're alone.

Cyrus and Mani perform as extras in the Fazbear cartoon, adding supporting voices for side characters and miscellaneous lines. Cyrus often supplies humorous, wacky, and surreal voices to his performances. Mani tends to get villainous or spooky characters with his deeper, raspier voice. They both enjoy what they do and love that they can work together as brothers.

You can't help but notice Cyrus and Mani. You admire their skill, their passion, and their smiles, and you sometimes even work up the courage to wave at Cyrus or Mani whenever one of the brothers happens to pass by your work desk.

They inspire you—not just with their work, but with their small acts of care. You find coffee on your desk when you return from a meeting with the other animators with a little smiling sun doodled on the cup. Sometimes, Cyrus asks you to join him on a walk since it's your lunch break and you could really use some sunshine and a chance to stretch your legs. When it gets far too late and you're burning the midnight oil, Mani is somehow always there, doing a funny voice to surprise you with a little reminder that it's past your bedtime. He leaves you little treats in blue wrappers, hidden in places on your desk, among your ink and papers.

It's not a surprise that you start drawing a character for them in your rare off hours when you still have the energy to hold a pencil. The Fazbear cartoon could add a new, permanent character. A robotic jester, lanky and tall, but with two forms for the day and night, funny and sweet and mischievous. Cyrus and Mani could both voice him!

That's silly, however. Fazbear Studios does not want your chaotic and half-brained scribbles nor do you dare show the brothers what they inspired—they might hate it. You keep your little jester character tucked away, along with a small doodle of a minor, nobody, gray character who may or may not be a tag along to the main act that is the jester. Your sketches and concept art are hidden away, far from where the light of day or the shine of night will ever see.

It goes missing one day. You're upset and asking everyone who went through your desk. No one confesses. Cyrus tells you that it'll be okay, he'll help you find it. Mani suggests that you keep locks on your drawers from now on.

It's never found, not that you wanted either of them to stumble upon it. Yet, they stay late with you after everyone has gone home, looking for your precious and secretive sketchbook through the many departments of the studio.

Somewhere along the way, Cyrus disappears, promising to return with your sketchbook. You lose Mani in the audio department before, oh, there's Vanessa. She tells you to come to the basement with her—she found your notebook. You're relieved but a little put off by Vanessa and reluctantly follow her down into the dark.

You don't find your sketchbook, but you do find Cyrus slumped against the wall, blood trickling down his temple, and a strange collection of shrines to one of the studio's cartoon characters.

Before you can rush to his side, pain explodes in your skull, cracking white across your vision. You fall to the ground, dazed, as Vanessa gives a cryptic promise to return with the last sacrifice. You manage to crawl across the floor in your pitiful state to reach Cyrus and attempt to revive him, but by then, Mani is walking in. His shock overtakes him but he dodges a swipe of Vanessa's wrench and starts struggling against her. You try desperately to drag Cyrus somewhere safe as he murmurs for you to get out of here, but in the middle of Vanessa's and Mani's fight, she flips a switch and ink begins filling the room.

The black flood sweeps Cyrus away from you. Pages spill out from the inside of Vanessa's vest, dozens of sketches of your jester character. You cry out. Mani looks to you. Vanessa at last shoves Mani into the surge of onyx liquid beside Cyrus, and you watch both of them go under together. You scream their names. She turns to you, grinning.

The last thing you remember is Vanessa shoving your head into the ink.

Then it's the only thing you remember. You're vaguely aware that your jet-black hands are strange and shiny, and that you don't know where you are in this sepia-colored studio, but you know something's not right. You're missing someone, and someone else. You're scared.

You wander around for a bit until you're attacked by monsters emerging from the ink, shrieking and wailing in gluey dark forms until a wonderful and terrifying automaton arrives. He destroys such a creature about to tear you apart. He stands so tall, detailed with sharp teeth and even sharper sun rays around his large, flat face, but you think you recognize those yellow eyes—a living cartoon.

He helps you calm down and asks for your name in a loud and funny voice that rings like a bell in your mind but you can't name the tune. You don't remember your name. He doesn't remember his either. He leads you away from the harsher spaces of the studio, somewhere 'safer'. You don't know if there is anything as safe, but you feel better with him.

You're startled when after a time, in the middle of talking to this sunshine character, he melts and morphs and bubbles until a crescent moon face emerges and a new grin. You panic before a darker, raspier voice, like a cartoon villain, tells you it's alright. He's here, too. He's not sure what's going on but he, and the other 'him', and you are gonna make it out of here, somehow.

You don't have hope anywhere else but in this unique robot jester, and he seems to want you to stay close to him. So it's you two, the last sane partnership in the crazed and dripping studios, fighting off ink creatures and surviving other bizarre characters. You learn how to wield a gent pipe and the jester is strong on his own, often able to tear things apart or toss monsters off of you before they can do worse. He has claws and teeth and he uses them well.

Vanny is a lady rabbit and a constant threat. She's smart and cunning, unlike the other mostly senseless attackers. She keeps tracking the two of you down and spouting off the religious rhetoric of Inktrap, promising that your sacrifices will be well worth the pain. You had to be introduced to the cycle. The ink has corrupted you perfectly. You are part of this place. You are never leaving and will give in to Inktrap.

You and he avoid Inktrap at all costs. You've only caught glimpses of the shadowy, pitch-black beast, but that's all you need to see as you both hide and hold your breaths until the danger just barely passes by.

You start to call the daytime jester Sun, and he seems to respond to it. The nighttime joker is Moon, and he neither hates nor loves it, but he answers when you call. He has a name for you, too, or rather names. Peach, bird, thrill, calico, and sweetheart. He gets creative and goofy. You think he's being mean sometimes but he tells you he's not, he means it, and you don't know how to take that before you two have to focus on escaping this part of the studio and getting into safer areas. You protect his back and he protects yours, and together, you make this living, unending nightmare bearable. Sharing bacon soup, falling asleep in Moon's lap, and patching up any drips in Sun's inky form becomes something like a life.

It just never stops, repeating over and over. The jester deserves better than this, whatever happened to him. You know you both do.

You become determined to learn how the cycle works and how to prevent it from going on. There's a funny feeling you have that, somehow, you're going to have to go through Vanny and the Inkdemon. One day, you will get the jester and yourself free.

You need to see his and your happy ending.

[newkatzkafe2023]

WukongVerse Yandere Jax (Y/N) x Jester Monkey kings/D.O

A little something because as a the amazing digital circus fan🤩🥳 and Jax being my favorite character😈

(Jax Y/n) Best in the show, just in case you don't know, nowhere to good, that's what makes it fun though. Queen of keep calm and relax ain't no problems when your (y/n)

(Lmk Wukong) He was in the middle of chasing you. Well at least he was because you've been driving him and everyone he knew crazy and the final straw being that you had messed with Mk by putting spiders in his bed. That made Wukong snap and chase after you but now he trapped wearing a stupid jester costume, he was freaking out definitely but he focused his anger on you. Wukong yelled and threatened your blank indifferent face for hours until he realized something how the hell is he gonna get out of here. Wukong demanded the exit to this place but you Conveniently don't know the way out of your circus. Wukong was not in a state of panic as he flew around looking for anyway out, but it was like the exit disappeared the second he entered and he was starting to crash out. However you continue to keep cool as your husband was just having a cute little tantrum about his situation, and what pisses Wukong off more is the fact that your actually ok with all of this. He needs to get out of here before he loses his mind with your poor idea of affection.

(Jax Y/n) Best in...Best in the show, Best in....Best in the show, Best...in Best...in the show yeah you get it Wukong I'm going to bed now

(Jax Y/n) Now this may a bit traumatic, Cuz I'm just a bit dramatic simply to exist is to be Damned i think therefore I am🎶🎵🎶🎵

(HIB Wukong) He sat in the dark or as you called it the void. He doesn't know how long he was here for but he doesn't want to think about it either. You had pissed him off quite badly to the point where he actively chased you and now he's stuck and trapped in the void. He tried to find a way out needing to get out of here and back to his kids, he had a shouting match with you demanding to let him out the circus. It doesn't help that your telling him he, pigsy and the children are trapped here with you taking care of them and a argument would break out like this. However you would throw his own ideas and worries back at him for wanting to keep the children safe and sound from danger, especially from heaven themselves. You even brought all the monkeys from flower fruit mountain to live in safety and happiness and created a perfect little life for everyone. However this isn't what Wukong had in mine just to put everybody under lock & key, forever you couldn't do this he thought you love him which you in a way do. Just way more darker then intended.

(Jester Wukong) I can be a bit dramatic, But isn't this a bit traumatic??? To simply exist Is to be damned I think therefore I am🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

(Jester Wukong) Cause I need to leave this wobbly world Will seriously drive me crazy Can't believe i'm stuck in the void Can somebody come and save me🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

(Nezha Reborn) He was running, though false exit doors, and it's not going so well. Why, you ask, because you trapped him here. Wukong was tricked into a prank war against you, and you may have gone too far by putting makeup on his face while he was sleeping. So when he chased you into a portal, he found himself in a circus wearing a jester costume. He glared at you as you explained about his new home and new life with you, and he demanded to know the way out. However, it felt like a never-ending cycle of doors that took him to the same room you're both in, Wukong had it with you. Yelling and screaming and demanding to let him out, to let him go home. Until you hit him with a staggering fact that he has no home to go too, that everything was designed, that all he had left of FFM was you.....and that F*cked him up more then this kidnapping ever can be. Worry not, he'll get tired of running in circles eventually or at least till he breaks down😁

(Jax Y/n) Ohhhhhhhhh Wuwu you still sing that song again????

(Jester Wukong) I can't believe I'm stuck in this wobbly world it's driven me crazy🎵🎶

(JAX Y/n) it's ment to drive you mad🎶🎵

(Jester Wukong)can't you see this is now my faith, nobody will come and help me

(Jax Y/n) A Jester shouldn't be sad🎵🎶

(Jester Wukong) All alone no way home, I might start to like it maybe 🎵🎶

(Jax y/n) With me it's not so bad🎶🎵

(Jester Wukong) can't go back to who I was before, who

(Jax Y/n) Come on Wukong

(Jester Wukong) i ever find the exit door??🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶

(Jax Y/n) Absolutely Not😇

(Jax Y/N) What's got you filming, buddy? What's got you raging, dude? Did something p*** you off? You better learn to cope soon, This place eats dopes for Breakfast, you'll need some thicker skin cause if you're angry now, Imagine how you'll feel when🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

(MK Reborn Wukong) Ever since you trapped him in your circus, you have done nothing but raise his blood pressure over 9000!!!! He thought the monk and pigsy were annoying, but then their was you. First of all, how dare you trap him in this super hell with you, and second, how dare you take him away from everything he knew. The worst part is that he was being mentally Tortured by you and your pranks and tricks, he's honestly not sure how long he's gonna last but he took deep breaths and did something he never do prey and meditate 🧘‍♂️. This shows how desperate he actually is because of how fast his sanity is deteriorating with him being trapped and you being the only one around. Wukong fought you and demanded for the exit and a way out, but you continued to joke and play with him. It didn't take long for him to snap on you trying to attack him. However, you would just smile mischievously but sweet on him. All you would do is easily steal kisses from him, and leave him to his tantrums. He can't take this anymore!!!!! Just let him out please let him out please 🙏

(Jax Y/n) Get your y/n toy, have a little laugh boy, so your not down to clown, well I won't let that get me down. I'm your y/n toy have a little laugh boy i would say sorry but it's not that kind of party🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

(Jax Y/N) They're not Your friends you don't care about them, You don't need to pretend you'll see how it's all gonna end you'll see it happen again and again and again and again and again🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶

(Netflix Wukong) He was angry, he was Furious, he was Betrayed and he was trapped. It was one thing for Lin to betray him for the dragon king to get his staff back but you, you trapped him in this circus hell. How could you do this to him after everything you both been though, but you kelp repeating these words to him telling him that their not his friends, and that you care about him. The heavens, Lin, Dragon the whole world outside your digital circus, Wukong tried everything, trying to find the exit, Yelling and Insulting you, ignoring you, fighting you but nothing. He even started to beg, plead and cry to you for his freedom. All you did was repeat what you've been telling him for months, their not your friends and that you only you love and care about him. Days felt like weeks, weeks felt like months, months felt like years as Wukong felt his mental health Deteriorate, now rocking as you pet and cuddle him smirking gently.

(Netflix Wukong) There not my friends, I don't care about them, you don't need to pretend, I saw how it's all gonna end I'll see it happen again, and again, and again, and again, and again and again knock knock who-🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

(Jester Wukong) 1 2 3 4 counting everyday, I've been stuck in here can someone help me get away, 5 6 7 8 Time is just a hoax in a colored world of characters and family jokes.

(BMW Wukong) Ok ok this is.....Well this Wukong is holding on to his sanity as you had trapped him in your digital hell. Wukong has allowed you to get away with alot of things but this he's not ok with this, he demands that you either show him the exit or you let him out yourself. However you just continued your normal antics slowly getting on his nerves with your antics. Wukong doesn't know how long he was stuck in here, it could be minutes, hours, days, weeks, months.......oh god what if you trapped him for years. No it can't be you just booby trapped him like he gotten into some pretty messy situations, but this gives him the sinking feeling like being trapped in that accursed mountain. Though this place is place is far worse and the only other person in here is you.....he just take it anymore he needs an exit door.

(Jax Y/n) Just your imagination, the exit is your fixation, door after door, you will find that it was just a digital hallucination. You'll try find a way out but your stuck here day after day, inside a.......Digital Hallucination🎵🎶

(Jax Y/n) As the years pass you by, it seems worthless to try, and escape from this digital dream. So you start introspecting, reforming, reflecting,(SPLAT!!!) and that's i hit ya with banana cream🎶🎵🎶🎵

(Destined one) You make everything much worse for him, it's bad enough he's stuck in here with you but you keep messing it up for him. Just how can you make his situation worse then before and why the hell would you freely do that, however you weirdly help him stay intact in a way. The Destined one would occasionally run around and look for the exit to escape, but to keep him from breaking completely but eventually the mild depression comesback to haunt him. As the Destined one is forever stuck in a virtual prison and his only company being you and his own thoughts.

(Destined one) As the years pass me by, it's worthless to try, and escape from this digital hole, so I began introspecting, reforming, reflecting Til I make for myself a new digital roll. I think of all the things that can happen to me and everybody else outside the city pull a prank make them fall with my back to the wall, and i can stick with the ones I can recall like glue..................and you'll be laughing too................and you'll be laughing too🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶................and I'll be laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, Laughing, LAUGHING, LAUGHING! LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Lotmk Wukong) what the heck is going on what am I wearing?! Something gone terribly wrong why is she starying. One second I was me and now im this strange plaything. Lights are fading lights evading get me out of here!!!!!!!!🎶🎵🎶🎵

(Lotmk Wukong) Wukong doesn't know how this happened one moment he's at the end of his journey, then next thing he knew he was brought to your world. You told him it was him and the monkeys brand new much safer area, where nobody can tear you both apart or hurt the monkeys of flower fruit mountain. Wukong at first was into it but he soon grew unnerved by the whole situation, and decided to ask when you both can leave and go home. You didn't answer though you never did as this was home everything you do is for his own good, Wukong begged to know when can he go home take them all home. You just smile though it's for your own good little clown, and the sooner he understands the message the better.

(Wukong) I just don't know where I am, and slowly losing who i am, and I would just like to go home now.............................................................I said I want to go home now!!!!!!!

Aftermath🙊🙈🙉☠️☠️☠️

(ALL together)I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I have a mouth but i can't scream, loud enough to change the scenery, Inside of this machinery, a polygonal prison Made of one and zero digits, And I wonder if that's all I am, This form I have been given, Or my mind is in a coma and this nightmare will preserve it, Maybe this is all a test Maybe somehow I deserve it And these thoughts that fly inside my head, I'm filled with Exessential dread That's why I lay awaken in bed....AND STAY UP WISHING I WAS DEAD!!!!!!!

Well Surprise, surprise and mildly unfortunate, but you can definitely work with it. Whatever stability Wukong thought he had went out the window went be got trapped in the circus with you, and well the dude abstracted faster then you can say great sage. Even when they claimed so hard that they won't abstract and for you not to ever entertain the idea that he can't, but considering he's cracked before you didn't think this would happen. On a brighter notes he can change back apparently it only happening whenever he's extremely overwhelmed, but you always get away when he does. Your new husband has also found ways to cope with being trapped, with you forever, but don't worry about it. All he has left is you, and it's not like he can run anymore😈🥰

(Jester Wukong/D.O) But I'm fine, I won't lose my mind. i don't need your dumb distraction...I'm no a...b...str-actio-n🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG 🎪

[scalproie]

Literally watched all of S2 last night and I dont feel like doing individual reactions sooo

All of S1:E26 was me pointing at gay people on my screen and going "hey thats from the little dark age amv"

The orion pax arc is still literally so funny. Later episodes show that there was NO REASON to keep optimus/orion alive bc soundwave and THE FUCKING SHIP can also decode the locations of the mcguffins, megatron literally couldve won the war here and there what the hell. it took meg all of 0.5 seconds after he heard his former boytoy utter his name to try and find excuses to keep him around. Also making him call you "my lord"? I Know What You Are.

And apparently optimus/orion stayed on the nemesis for two months which is crazy to me bc megatron cannot improvise to save his fucking life what do you MEAN warlord ratchet??? YOU HAVE ULTRA MAGNUS IN YOUR FILES

It was funny tho bc meg heard ratchet say "I am your doctor of doom" and thought Hey thats pretty good and then make a callback to that when telling optimus/orion ratchet is evil incarnate

Extra hilarious to me that it partially ended bc starscream went to the nemesis to raid the fridge. [Megatron voice] this plane does nothing but ruin my life

The episodes where they send arcee and jin kazama to cybertron was pretty cool i did like the vibe it really felt alien ruins-like

You can tell the experience fucked optimus a little bc first episode after the season opening and peepaw is ready to consider warcrimes

Next was the "bumblebee gets his kidney stolen" arc and I have nothing to say other than it was funny when of course it ends in starscream getting his kidney stolen

Ok I do have some stuff to say actually, we trash on the cons a lot bc theyre disloyal assholes, but when a bot is told to stay at the base for valid reasons, they bitch and moan and end up disobeying anyway and never get punished severely by peepaw optimus bc them not following orders ALWAYS works in their favor

Megatron goes "Nu-uh-uh!" in S2:E5

Im always just so happy when meg is on screen ngl he is such a massive asshole bastard🩶

Dreadwing's cool I like how he just has a fucking flip phone to dramatically blow shit up

Everytime I see wheeljack im like oh god if the show has been made just a few years later he wouldve been drift

I FORGOT HOW QUICKLY BREAKDOWN DIED fanon will really build a castle out of 4 twigs huh. and the castle sucks ass anyway

Airachnid slayed and she was gone too soon

They lowballed megatron so hard in the episode where he was struggling against one (1) insecticon BUT. he was sexy in this ep. To me. Not to optimus anymore😔

Nemesis prime was well-introduced in the show but this is hysterical to me that THIS is the show that has the "evil double of optimus" concept

Every episode with starscream after he loses his cog is excellent and you have no idea how much it pains me to admit that

S2:E10-E11 is just megatron and the gang having the weirdest fucking day and it might be my fav eps. I think I just love watching the cons do shit. Megatron killed starscream four times, fought an army of bugs and then gave drugs to his ship

Knockout and megatron's banter is surprisingly always very entertaining. I think meg just like bouncing off of a little jester

The four relics episode are kinda whatever BUT they did gave us the one (1) soundwave focused episode and whaddayaknow he was extremely sexy and competent and it was funny to see him being treated like megatron's special boy&bird

Also bulkhead continue to have plot armor thicker than the apex armor like come on in every single one of his episodes he comes just this close to death

SHOOOOOOOOOCKWAAAAAAAAAVE

I was waiting to see smokescreen's episodes before judging but now that I did I can safely say *drops to my knees sobbing* IT SHOULD BEEN HOT RODDDDDDDDD

At least his friendship with jin kazama was cute, like that "green for go" was cute

Silas ditching his highly competent human crew to sucker up to megatron really felt like they had no idea what to do with his character anymore bc what??? Like okay you remove a third faction to focus more on the main ones but still

I fucking love S2:E20 bc 1) just throw some more mystical stuff at optimus like go full arthurian stories now, 2) lots of megatron action and 3) "drop the mountain on him"

I know its likely an animation lighting thing and optimus simply could not be based like that in the first place but conceptually it is absolutely hysterical to me that after slicing effortlessly a mountain in half, making megatron look like THIS

Optimus then look straight up at the camera and fucking winks at him

And then immediately after that, megatron going "decepticons, we are so fucked."

And THEN next episode is literally "MEGATRON YOU CRAZY BITCH" like come dreadwing lets desecrate a demigod's tomb

He fucking sucks at naming stuff tho bc dark star saber??? Come on man

The rest of the omega keys episodes are also whatever but fucking hell if the whole Peter Cullen speaking in slow motion and Steve Blum mimicking that didnt get to me hard

The last starscream episode tho? Screamer cringe compilation while hes having the worst job interview of his life, of course i loved it

MEGATRON NOOO YOU KILLED THE WRONG PLANE

But again, hilarious that for the season finale megatron went "alright guys no more fucking around" and they basically won. That one moment where meg, screamer, KO all laughing maniacally together with soundwave just shaking in silent laughter with them was really funny. Only shocky is missing for the decepticon high command reunion

I really liked the moment where raf, miko and jin kazama were like "the autobots are ready to sacrifice their life for our planet, im ready to do the same for theirs" idk thats really brave and it struck me

Optimus chopping megatron's arm was really fucking cold

SILVER ERADICONSSSSSS

They blew up the autobot base like the white house in shadow the hedgehog

Overall, a lot of my favorite episodes are in this season so👍 #megatronsweep

[streets-in-paradise]

Friday the 13 Th - Eddie Munson x (Fem) Henderson! Reader

Warnings: Friday the 13 Th franchise references.

Summary: Eddie has convinced you of making something big to bother Jason in the most fitting day for your inside joke about him.

Notes: Happy Friday the 13 th! Let's make fun of Jason lol

The school's cafeteria was a stage where Eddie loved to play being a dreaded artist annoying the well adjusted students with his unhinged dramatizations. He was an autentical court jester despite many loathed his performances. You may have been once too shy to get involved or even engage, but the spirit of companionship of Hellfire had slowly and consistently changed that.

As two lonely weirdos doing their best to not be noticed during most of your highschool experience, you have always been in a distant bubble with Jonnathan doing your own thing unless bullies would disrupt you. There was no one else at least untill he started to date Nancy and you befriended Eddie first, later also Steve. While you remained best friends, some of that crave to hide together in a little corner going unnoticed began to change and that was way more evident in you under the influence of Eddie.

For once at least, Jonnathan acceded to get involved for a small role in a carefully crafted espectacle you were planning because he got to appreciate the concept. Fellow horror geek, he found it simple yet quite effective. At very least you both would have a funny story to share with Will and Dustin.

Staged action took it's course as you approached him limping and pretending you were crying your heart out.

" Please, please! You have to help me!! " You begged him for the entire place to hear you, your ketchup soaked hands seeking to hold his clean ones . " … He is coming, he got my friends!!! He is gonna kill us! "

Pretending confussion wasn't that hard given your performance.

" What are you talking about?"

" The councelors were making love while that young boy drowned!!" You directly referenced the speech of Pamela Vorhees in a mashup with a victim character. " … Now we are all cursed. WE DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED!!!! "

When your agonical, prophetic scream gave him the sign Eddie emerged rushing like a maniac into the scene.

" FRIDAY THE 13 TH!!! IT'S FRIDAY THE 13 TH, PEOPLE!!" He began to scream to anyone in his way. " RUN FOR YOUR LIVES CAUSE JASON IS GONNA COME TO GET YOU!"

The joke was perfectly timed with the entrance of Jason Carver. Annoyance was the less concerning feeling it awakened on the target. When you once started it he could have never imagined it was going to stick with the full weirdo group and even escalate.

" Are you looking for trouble, freak?"

Enacting a reaction fitting for a horror movie, you got in between them shielding Eddie with your body.

" No, Eds! Don't sacrifice yourself for me!! "

Eddie turned dramatically to play pretend a heartfelt objection.

" I must do it. You are the final girl and i am just the disastrous but charming male lead following you into the woods just because i'm in love with you. " He followed your performance with a self awareness touch. " Go, my beloved. Save that stoner and remember me. "

You held his hands as if his life trully depended of listening to you.

" I won't let you go! I know how to defeat Jason, you just have to trust me. "

The basketball player was frankly weirded. Still angry, but his lack of contextual orientation to whatever you were thinking to be doing temporally overcame his desire to punch Eddie in the face.

He was accidentally incarnating one of the lapsus of confussion Jason Vorhees could sometimes had in the films before resuming the chase for his victims.

Perfect moment for you to iniciate the end of the third act taking off your jacket to reveal a striped sweater in matching colors with the Tigers.

" Look at me Jason!! Look! Come over here … " You began to call him in the sweetest tone. " Do you recognize this? You are in home, honey.. It's gonna be ok, I'll take care of you!"

Your friends were laughing uncontrolably and you realized that even a guy in the jock's table was holding his chuckles. Probably only just for the excessive female nudity of the franchise, but he must have watched the film your joke was referencing. Not missing the chance to expose it, you smiled at him and his amusement turned inmediately into disgust.

" Friday the 13 Th Part 2, just in case you want to rent it for the weekend. " You explained to Jason after abandoning the character. " My interpretation didn't stick completely to the source material, but I found this sweater in a thrift store and inmediately thought of you. Eddie insisted we had to save it for the next Friday the 13 Th. "

" Meaning that you got that cheap sweater in my team's colours and prepared a scene arround it just to annoy me. " Jason summarized out loud, clearly fed up with all the freaks. " At least i can say you took too many bothers to get my attention in this oddly specifical charade. "

" Bullshit! He is pissed off, only tries to hide it because he lost. " Eddie quickly corrected. " We made it, sweetheart!!"

You both hi fived each other and rushed in the opposite direction, but hubris made Eddie deliver one last comeback on the way.

" Happy Friday 13 Th, Carver !!!! Don't get in the lake!!! "

Despite he did enjoy the thrill, Jonnathan was giving you judgamental looks as you reached him.

" … If i get targeted again for this."

Eddie patted him on the shoulder cheerfully before reassuring him.

" Chill, man! His feud is against us, you are totally safe. "

" That was freaking awesome! " You followed the cheers. " Don't lie to me, I saw it in your eyes. You are as excited as me. "

You had a point and he couldn't deny it.

" Fine, it was quite fun … Not as satisfying as punching Steve, but still. "

Eddie clearly supported the posibility of finding someone to complain about Harrington with that you couldn't object to. Besides, he was a big fan of the referenced episode.

" I heard all about it, the freak that kicked his bully's ass and stole his girlfriend … I just want you to know that Hellfire considers you a hero. You will always be welcome among us. "

His most inmediate answer was an awkward smile.

" Thanks. I really appreciate it, but i would like to keep my girlfriend. "

They chuckled and Eddie's was the loudest.

" Good call, man! Good call. "

Something in the specifical way Eddie choose to congratulate Jonnathan made you feel uneased. Probably because you were just jealous imagining he could want to steal his bully's girlfriend too if he had the same chance.

" Eds, if we were in a horror movie. Do you really think we would be the romantically coded final girl and last kill boy sacrificing himself so she could make it to the final fight?" You asked him as you were walking thowards the Hellfire table. " I mean, I won't do well as a final girl. To be one you need more than just be the virgin ... "

The joke may have been themed as a different thing, but you were masquerading your will to figure out if that was the case.

" ... And most times they aren't unwanted freaks, they are normal cute girls just too shy to approach their crush or too nervous to let their boyfriends convince them of sleeping together. "

He wasn't sure of where the point was going, but didn't mind to indulge you.

" Realistically, I would be the guy who dies alone getting high in the woods. " He mocked himself. " but i do think you could be a final girl. Although a rare breed we don't often get blessed with, freak girls tend to be passionate horror fans. You know all the rules to survive, my prediction is that you would make it and at the end of the film Harrington would be asking you out. "

The answer deviated from the path you expected.

" I thought you would accuse Steve of being the asshole jock dying in the sex scene. "

" As a judge I'm cruel, but fair. That has to be Hargrove, Harrington has higher chances of making it if he sticks with you. "

That made you laugh for reasons he could never possibly understand. In real life, Steve was the resourcefull fighter.

" Would you believe me if I tell you that Steve is a final girl ? "

He was laughing harder then, untill your softly delivered conclussion stopped it.

" I would like to make it with you too … It would be a refreshing change for the slasher formula. "

Eddie wasn't sure of it, but for an instant he choose to treat himself imagining you said you wanted to be with him in a very freakish way.

" There is no way i could make it. Ríght now i can tell you I would die for you. "

[bittenwritten]

Idle Gossip

[Harley Quinn 2019] Scarecrow x [Villain] reader

*reader is gender neutral* [Reposted from my Wattpad account]

It all started with your invitation to the Penguin’s nephew’s Bar Mitzvah coming through the mail slot. Normally, you’d prefer to keep to yourself and not attend any social gatherings. However, on this occasion you’d had a rough week and a fancy get-together seemed to be just what the doctor ordered, and so you decided to bite the bullet and attend. Unfortunately, what you seemed to completely forget, until the day of the Bar Mitzvah, is that you'd actually have to talk to people. Great.

You decided that cancelling now would just be more hassle than it was worth, and so that is how you ended up sitting round a small table with a few of your fellow Legion of Doom members discussing the recent drama that was the JoQuinn break-up. Other than the Joker blowing up the host of Good Morning Gotham, this was the first time you were hearing about the whole drama, so it was all news to you. Well, I say ‘conversation’, it was more so just Scarecrow gossiping at the group about the whole hullabaloo while everyone else was becoming tired of the non-stop gossip coming out of Jonathan’s mouth. Well, everyone but you. You couldn’t for the life of you explain, but you just seemed to hang onto every single word that came out of his mouth as he rambled on.

 You weren't even really listening to what was being said anymore, you were just so transfixed by the way he spoke, there was some kind of devilish charm to it that made you feel weak in the knees.

 You’d only recently realized your feelings for the twig of a man on a collaborative heist, where you had to suddenly drag him out of Batman's sight and ended up pinning him up against the wall. Neither of you even said anything, you just stared at each other for an uncomfortably long time until Batman walked in and caught the two of you like that. It had to be the most embarrassing point in your career, but there was something about that flustered look on his face that made your heart skip a beat.

Back in the present, Twoface looked like he was about to lose his patience before the door to the atrium swung open. Two figures stood in the doorway, the more extravagant of the two had a massive tiger on a lead in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other. You didn’t even recognise her for a split-second but her pale-white skin was an immediate give away to her identity, it was the Joker’s ex, Harley Quinn. Behind her stood the more intimidating figure of Poison Ivy, she seemed to be more disinterested with the whole thing. Harley took a swing from the bottle and threw it over her shoulder, only to stop dead in her tracks as she looked around in horror, you could only assume she mis-read her invite in regards to what type of party this was. Glancing over to your fellow villains, they seemed to be just as confused as you were.

“Well, this is an interesting development” Scarecrow commented, resting his head in his hand as he leaned forward. “You know...” he started “i bet there’s something going on between those two” he used his free-hand to gesture towards the two.

“Y’know what, I’m starving.” TwoFace quickly stood up “Bane, buddy, how's about you and I go check out the buffet?” 

“Sure, sounds good.” Bane said in his usual upbeat tone.

“Yeah, good idea.” Scarecrow added as he began to stand out of his seat.

“Nah, nah, nah.” TowFace cut him off. “Y’know two’s company but three's a crowd-” he clearly just wanted an excuse to get away from the non-stop gossip that was giving him a head-ache.

“You two just stay put, we’ll be back in a sec” and with that he bee-lined towards the buffet table with Bane following closely behind. Scarecrow slowly sat back down and stared in confusion at the two before turning his attention to you.

“Wonder what got into them” he laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, I wonder.” you agreed and took a quick sip from your drink.

His expression turned to a more deadpan one. “Well I mean you could at least try to be a bit more subtle with it.” he scoffed.

“Sweetheart, if I was to be subtle about anything, you wouldn’t pick up on a single thing I was implying” you shot back, leaning towards him and taking another swig from your drink.

“Oh, like your obvious attraction to me.” he joked and raised an eyebrow as you spat out your drink in surprise.

“S’cuse me?!” you managed to sputter out once you recovered from your coughing fit.

“Oh give me a break.” he rolled his eyes. “I know I can be a bit oblivious at times but not to this extent.” he said as a smirk formed at the edges of his mouth.

“What are you talking about?” you laughed nervously, trying to relieve some of the sudden tension that had been created. He looked at you like you’d just asked him who Batman was before answering. 

“I mean, you avoiding me recently, your longing stares.” he put a hand on his head in overly dramatic fashion, which admittedly got a slight laugh from you.

“I mean for fucks sake, just now you were making eyes at me throughout the conversation about the break-up.” he added. Your body stiffens and heats up as he finishes his sentence. God, were you that obvious? 

At this point, your face was as red as a tomato and you were stumbling over your words as you failed to come up with a rebuttal. Luckily you were saved from this hell when Bane and TwoFace returned to the table, stopping him from continuing his accusation. You sighed in relief and looked back over to him, he still had that smug smirk on his face that always made your heart flutter. 

“How's the food over there?” you asked.

“Eh, nothing worth spoiling your dinner for.” TwoFace shrugged, sitting back into his seat.

“Uh-oh, who are these trouble-makers?” Harley walked up to the table.

“Nah, I'm just kidding- I know it’s you [name], Scarecrow, TwoFace, other side of TwoFace, Bane-!” you all laughed at her imitation. “I'm gonna’ blow up this Bar Mitzvah” Bane grumbled.

“Quinn, Great ta’ see ya’! Where've ya’ been hiding?” TwoFace asked.

“On your left side where you can’t see shit!”

You all burst into laughter again but this time you couldn’t help but steal another look at Scarecrow. You loved the way he looked when he laughed, from the way his eyes lit up to his dorky smile, you just couldn't get enough of it but you quickly looked away before he could catch your staring.

“So guess who came up with a plan to kill Batman, uh, ya girl-” but before she could continue a looming shape appeared behind her.

“Look who’s trying to run before she can walk”. Well, as if your night couldn’t get any worse, the Joker was here to completely derail it. Great.

The others laughed and you plastered on a fake smile.

“Mazel Tov!” Bane greeted him.

“Jesus”

“Glad you're here, J-man. Pull up a chair, doesn’t bother me-” Harley pulled out the menu.

“So who’s going beef and who’s going chicken?”

“You are going somewhere else-” Joker demanded.

“-because this is the Legion of Doom table! Why don’t you find the crazy bitch table?”

“Spoiler: it’s not a real table” Bane chipped in.

“That was implied-”

“Oh” Bane frowned.

“Who wants to ditch this jester and tear up Gotham with me?!” Harley yelled, which was only met with manic laughter from the Joker.

“Laugh, laugh with me” Joker ordered. You did your best to sound genuine as you forced a laugh, like the others, but you weren't too sure how convincing you sounded.

“Uhh, you know what, who needs ya’ this table is too far away from the dancefloor anyway!” Harley stomped off.

Joker pulled up a seat and sat down.

“Sorry about that folks, women am i right?” None of you really felt comfortable with that last comment.

“Joker, nice to see ya’, didn’t think you’d make it” TwoFace said, greeting him.

“Well, of course, how could i miss such a big event” he grinned, to you it seemed a bit disingenuous but you let it slide.

“Now, what did I miss?”

“Scarecrow was just telling us how Harley dumped ya’.” TwoFace explained.

“Oh really?”

The smug grin on the Joker’s face dropped as he shot a glare at Scarecrow, who was currently sweating bullets.

“Oh I'm sure you're definitely in a position to talk, Crane, seeing as your single ass can’t even get a date, let alone dump one. And for the record, I dumped her.” you could feel the condescending nature of his tone as he spoke. Jonathan looked down at his drink as Joker continued to talk down to him.

You desperately wanted to say something but were snapped out of your thoughts by a loud voice screaming “assholes-”, you all quickly turned to see where the voice came from, only to find it was Harley bitching about you all to Ivy. Joker shot her a smug grin before turning back to the group. He opened his mouth to speak again only to be cut off.

“But they don’t know shit-” Harley screamed again, shaking their table as she slammed her fists onto it. Luckily, this seemed to distract Joker from his rant long enough for him to forget.

“Now, where was I?” 

Thinking quickly you came up with an answer.

“You were talking about dumping Harley.”

“Ah, yes. Can you believe that, the bitch even blew up my hideout out of spite-” he started going on and on about how he was totally the one who ended it. You looked over to Scarecrow as he sighed a breath of relief and mouthed ‘thank you’. You smiled and nodded at him before facing back to the pasty-white madman in front of you. 

By the time Joker had finished his rant, the food had arrived. It was pretty good, but you and Scarecrow were both too busy stealing looks at each other while the other wasn’t looking to enjoy it. 

“Uuh, my chicken’s rubbery.” Joker grumbled.

 “Ooh, your beef looks good” he said as he slid Bane’s plate over to himself.

“Uh, fine” Bane sighed as he reached for the plate of chicken, wanting at least something to eat.

“Ah-“  Joker swatted his hand away. 

“I might finish that.”

“Well, then, what are we doing?-” Bane protested, but was cut off by a voice over the speakers.

“Hey, everybody, let’s give it up for Joshua’s Bar Mitzvah. Huh?” Penguin stood on stage next to his nephew, Joshua.

“It was very special, for me it was when I realized it was my dream to become a crime lord” he wiped a tear from his eye before continuing. 

“So today, I force that dream onto you.” The crowd cheered as he placed a top-hat, that was identical to his, onto Joshua’s head.

You look out of the corner of your eye and catch Scarecrow staring directly at you. Though he was wearing his mask, you could tell he was blushing by the way his eyes darted away from you as he straightened himself the moment your eyes met, only daring to look back at you to see if you were still staring back at him. You flashed him a cheeky grin as you playfully winked at him, you could swear that you saw his heart completely stop beating inside his chest as you did. 

“Okay, Joshua, get ready for your first caper! Good luck fighting off the guards, also known as Gotham Chuckle Hut’s finest improvisers, and stealing that cash-ola, otherwise known as ‘Joshua Bucks’!” The curtains began to open.

“Go Joshua- Oh my God-”

The curtains opened fully to reveal what seemed to be a massacre. The improv troupe lay in pools of their own blood, you could even see the bone fully stick out of one man’s leg for crying out loud! The culprit stood in the doorway of the vault, after somehow getting it open, and was holding some of the ‘Joshua Bucks’. Judging by your table’s reaction, you could tell who it was. Your suspicions were confirmed when the perp spoke up.

“Hey, Joshy, Mazel Tov!” Yeah, it was Harley. You could get a better view of her as she walked closer and picked up one of the men so it looked like he was standing.

There was an audible gasp from the crowd as she dropped him again, further exposing his bones. In contrast, Joker started laughing maniacally and nugded Bane.

“This is fantastic! You’re probably not laughing because this is sort of how you screw up.”

“You ruined the Bar Mitzvah!” Penguin stated as he walked forward as the crowd booed.

“-and crippled an improv troupe!”

“Meh- oh well”

Bane, TwoFace and Bane quickly stood up, but you and Scarecrow were only now snapping fully back into reality.

“If you two could quit your eye-fucking session and hurry up, it would be greatly appreciated-” Joker snapped at you both as he and the others made their way to the vault room, before you could say anything to defend yourselves. You both looked at each other for a split-second but you quickly pushed down your feelings of embarrassment and speeded after them with Jonathan hot on your heels.

“-and that's our show, folks!” Harley announced and took a bow before darting towards the exit.

“I've got this.” Penguin said, cocking his umbrella gun and taking aim.

There was a loud ‘thud’ as Harley fell to the floor as the tranquilizer dart took effect. You all gathered round to see what was happening.

“Say ‘goodnight, Puddin’.” Joker spoke with a smug grin on his face.

“You think… this is gonna’... stop...me?” her words became more slurred as she slipped into unconsciousness. Joker only laughed at ths threat.

“Hah- She even sounds like you!” he laughed as he turned to Bane.

“Oh- I don't think… Do I sound like… You never hear your own voice I guess.” Bane sputtered out, as two of Penguin’s henchmen picked up Harley’s limp body. You all walked out of the vault room and joined the crowd as the music started playing again.

“I’m assuming this is all you’ll be gossiping about for the next year.” you spoke in a hushed tone as you nudged Scarecrow’s arm. He simply rolled his eyes at you, but did nothing to cover up the dorky grin on his face as he did so. 

“Perhaps.” he said, pausing before he continued.

“When I do, would you like me to leave in the part where I repeatedly caught you staring affectionately at me or no?”

“Oh really, ‘cause I could've sworn that I caught you only a couple of minutes ago doing the exact same thing.” you scoffed, leaning towards him.

 You see a hint of momentary panic in his eyes as he tries to conjure up an excuse and push down the feeling of… warmth?- he got in his stomach as he remembered the part where you winked at him, he couldn’t explain it but it felt familiar. Then it hit him like a brick, he knew exactly where he’d felt this before. He’d felt the same weird, warm, fuzzy, confusing feeling when you had him pinned against that old factory wall and were staring into his eyes. He’d rather die than admit it, but you looming above him, the way your chest rose and fell as you panted, the fact that your mouths were so close that if he so much as tilted his head upward your lips would be touching, might have just awoken something in him.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and saw you still waiting for his answer.

“Guilty as charged.” he shrugged and laughed nervously.

Before you could continue, you both noticed four men carrying Harley, who was tied to a chair and just regaining consciousness now.

“Cut the song- No Horah for Harley” Penguin ordered as the men placed the chair down a couple of feet away from him.

“Hey, it's gonna’ take more than a souped-up parasol to keep me from kicking your ass you fat, flightless bird.” Harley snapped.

“The mouth on her!” Penguin turned to Joshua.

“What better way to become a man than by-”

“-Ohh! Than by touching your umbrella? Whoo!” Joshua snatched the umbrella from his hands. 

“Yes! I’ve been waiting for this!” he stated as he pointed it towards Harley

“Any last words before I kill your dumb, blonde, stupid, smelly-”

“-That’s too many adjectives,” Scarecrow whispered. You nodded in agreement.

“-Idiot ass!” Joshua finished.

“Hey, Joshua, make sure you aim it directly at my head ‘cause you don’t want to miss in front of your friends and family-”

“I won’t miss” Joshua stated as his hand began to shake.

“I don’t know.. That trembly finger’s telling a different story-” she taunted.

“I-it’s not trembly, it’s just- I’ve never shot an umbrella before-”

“I bet there’s a lot of things you’ve never done, like: drunk a beer-”

“-I drunk a beer, like all the time. I always drunk beers” his voice became as shaky as his hand as he looked around the room.

“I bet you still believe in Santy Clause.”

“I-i don’t! I’m Jewish and tonight I’m a man!”

“Oh, that’s right, i forgot that I’m talkin’ to a newly grown man- I mean you’ve already finger-banged somebody.” There was a loud gasp from the audience. Well, this got uncomfortable real quick.

“Wait, what?!”

“I mean you have, haven’t you, you didn’t lie about such an important milestone, right?”

“Y-yeah it happened!”

“Are you sure?” Joshua’s body was fully trembling at this point as he looked over to his uncle, who glared back at him, waiting for him to take the shot.

“I-I don’t… I don’t know… it was dark” he stammered .

“It was at camp, at night… it was me and her and it was dark. I definitely did something” 

“Oh, Joshy, do you really think you're ready to kill someone if you’ve never even finger-blasted a girl?”

“You’re right- I’m not ready” he started to sob as he ran into his mother's arms.

“I told you we should’ve gotten him the dollhouse like he asked, Oswald-” she hissed

“It’s not a dollhouse! It’s an army base with sound  effects of real screams, and it’s the only thing I wanted!” his voice broke half way through his sentence.

“Your dead, Quinn” Penguin spat as he aimed his umbrella at her, but then the sound of glass breaking filled the room and a man fell face-first from the ceiling, followed by Poison Ivy lowering herself down from the newly made hole with a vine. Harley greeted her before doing a front flip onto her back which broke the chair, and something else , you assumed by the way she reacted.

“Uuh, i thought that was gonna be way cooler-” she hissed as the Joker walked up to her.

“Harley, you're not a solo-act, you're a sidekick, an afterthought. No one is ever going to take you seriously. Admit you’re nothing without me and you walk away alive. Or you can die!”

“Welp, easy choice.” the weird green man got up from the floor.

“uh , lovely Bar Mitzvah. Mazel, mazel.” he began to walk away.

“Are you leaving?” Ivy asked him.

“Uh, no-”

“I ain’t admitting shit!” Harley hissed as she picked herself up. Joker only sighed.

“Boys?” he called on the four of you, you all grinned and raced to grab your weapons from the table.

“I’ve got TwoFace.” Harley stated.

“I’ve got [name] and Scarecrow.” Ivy confirmed.

“I have-oh wow- oh God- wow.” Kite-Man stared up to see Bane towering over him, who got even bigger when he started pumping venom into himself.

“You- you’re looming! Um, alright, I’ll take, um… if you don’t mind if you could scootch just a little.” he asked, looking past Bane.

“Boom, onsite coordinator. Looking kind of brittle there, won’t see it-” Bane swatted him to the other side of the room before he could finish.

TwoFace opened fire on the two, but Ivy used her vines as a shield for herself and Harley. Within seconds, Harley was flung over the top of the shield and landed behind you and Scarecrow. You both turn around just in time to dodge the first few swings of her bat but as Scarecrow stepped back Harley kicked his gun right out of his hand and yelled for Ivy to pass her TwoFace’s gun. You spun round to see if Jonathan was alright, only to be met with a bat to the back of the head as Harley snuck up behind you, which caused you to fall forwards. You braced yourself for the feeling of your head hitting the hard tiles but were caught on your way down. You looked up to see Scarecrow grabbing you by the arm, you pushed against him and were able to get back on your feet and tossed him his gun. You glanced behind him to see Harley aiming TwoFace’s gun at his back but fired before you could get out a warning. As the bullets punctured the canisters on his back, the force of the fear toxin rushing out sent him flying. You covered your mouth and ran away to avoid the fear toxin that was already causing people to hallucinate, grabbing your gun as you did. Thankfully, Scarecrow landed a couple of feet from where you were and you rushed over to him. You offered him your hand and quickly pulled him up.

Behind you, Harley continued firing from the stolen gun before Penguin was able to shoot it, causing it to explode in Harley’s hand. As she stepped back in shock, she bumped into TwoFace who pulled out two dual handguns. She began to back away to Ivy as you, Scarecrow and Penguin walked up to join TwoFace, weapons drawn.

“Let’s get out of here!” Ivy yelled. Harley looked behind you all only to see Joker filming the whole thing.

“No, let’s fight! Maybe Kite-Man can help!” They glanced over to where Kite-Man was and witnessed as Bane repeatedly punched him in the head while he had him in a choke-hold.

“Bane, quit dicking around with Kite-Man and get those two.”  Joker snapped.

“But he was attacking me-”

“With what, a kite? Just do as I tell you, you dumb, freakish monster!”

“Bane, why are you letting him talk to you like that?” Harley asked.

“In fact, why do any of you let him talk to you like that?” she began to raise her voice as she looked at the four of you. You all lowered your weapons and looked over to where Joker stood.

“He doesn't even have powers-”  you felt your body stiffen as you shifted your gaze down to the floor. 

“His only power is bullying you into doing what he wants. I should know, he did it to me for years.”

“Don’t listen to her! She’s nothing.” Joker protested.

“She makes a good point, I don’t like how you called me a monster” Bane interrupted him.

“Yeah that was pretty harsh” Scarecrow chipped in and looked to you as you nodded in agreement.

“Oh my God, it’s just an expression-” Joker tried to explain it away before Bane interrupted him.

“Also, let’s talk about dinner-” Bane crossed his arms. “I selected the beef well in advance and you stole it from me, you said you didn’t even want to come to this ‘stupid thing’.”

The crowd gasped.

“My thoughts exactly, this is a monumental night for young Joshua.”

“I’m the Joker, I was joking, okay? Oh my God, I’ll kill her myself.” he said, pulling out his gun and pointing it to Harley’s head, only for Ivy to stand in his way.

“Ivy, if you could just, y’know, just move so I, I can just kill your friend.”

“Absolutely- over my dead body.”

“Uhh- female friendships!” he groaned as he got ready to shoot, but Ivy’s vines suddenly sprouted up behind him and surrounded the three. 

The sudden action caused you to step back and instinctively grab onto Scarecrow’s shoulder, which caused him to freeze momentarily before melting into your touch.

Joker aimed his gun at Ivy’s head but she didn’t move a muscle as her vines closed in on him. High-pitch laughter came from his pocket as his phone rang. He began yelling into the phone about some sort of building issue with his base and ran off, but you weren't really paying attention. You looked down at where your hand was, only to notice a large red stain on his upper-arm, it took you mere seconds to realize that it was blood, his blood even. You assumed he must have knocked into something sharp when he was sent flying a couple of minutes ago. You must have looked fairly shocked, as Jonathan followed your gaze down to the wound and tried to brush your hand away.

“I-I’m fine. -really-” he started, but you only grabbed his arm and noticed a multitude of smaller blood stains all over his right side.

“Jesus, Jon, what did you land on, a pile of cutlery?” you asked, more concerned than anything else.

“Well it might as well have been.” he grumbled, quickly glancing over to the, now, broken table he had landed on.

“Right, well, let’s get you patched up.” you said, lightly tugging on his arm.

“Oh, there’s no need, honestly-” He protested before you cut him off.

“-Jonathan, there is a massive gash on your arm. Now come on, I have a first aid kit at my place.” you began leading him to the main exit.

“A-at your place?” he froze in his tracks.

“Yeah? What’s with the shocked face?” you looked back at him.

“You know I don’t bite, right?” you grinned at him. You said your goodbyes and thanked Mrs. Cobblepot for your invitation before dragging him off despite his insistence that he could just ignore it until the party was over and sort it himself.

“Look, you’ve made it clear that you don’t like it when I help but-”

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I… I just didn't want to trouble you, that’s all!” That answer came a little too fast for you to fully believe it but you thought it would be best to drop the subject as it clearly flustered him.

As the two of you walked out into the warm summer night you loosened your grip on his upper-arm and let your hand glide down his arm and wrap around his wrist, not daring to go the full mile and hold his hand, though you could swear you saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes as you did. As the two of you stepped into the parking lot and found your car, Scarecrow cleared his throat.

“[Name]?” he glanced over at you as he got into the passenger's side seat.

“Yeah? What is it?”

“It’s okay if I stay the night, innit’? It’s just that my hideout is on the other side of the city and it’s already really late-”

“Well as long as you don’t mind sleeping on the couch, then sure.” you said as you pulled out of the parking space and onto the main road.

“Cheers, luv.” 

 What followed after that was near miss with an oncoming truck and your face becoming a bright red colour as your brain temporarily short-circuited. You looked over to make sure Jonathan was alright, only to see him gripping onto the seat like his life depended on it. 

“Jesus- if you don’t like me calling you that then you can just say so- Bloody hell!” 

“It’s not that, it’s just-” Your brain was working at 100 mph trying to talk your way out of this because: God- did you love the way he called you that. Unfortunately for you, he quickly caught on and was going to give you hell.

“Oh so you like me calling you ‘luv’, then?” The corners of his mouth curled up into a smirk as he noticed the massive blush on your face. 

“Wh- no- that’s not what I meant!”

“Sure thing, luv.” His smirk had turned into an ear-to-ear grin as he saw your face turn an even darker shade of red. This just elicited a loud, frustrated groan from you.

“I swear to God- do you want me to crash this car!” you snapped at him, smacking your hand off the steering wheel, which was only met with laughter as you yelled a string of expletives.

“You wouldn’t do that.” he stated, still giggling to himself.

“What makes you so sure of that?” You scoffed but you couldn’t deny the way your heart sped up when you saw the dorkiest grin on his face.

“You care about me.” He teased, resting his head on the back of his hands.

“Shut up.” You lightly punch his shoulder.

 You tried to cover up the growing smile on your face with your free hand but failed as Jonathan noticed and pulled your hand down from your face, unintentionally encasing your hand in his. It took you both a while to realize it but once you did his hands immediately shot back to his sides and didn’t look at you for the rest of the car journey instead opting to twiddling his thumbs.

“We’re here.” you called, snapping him out of his daze.

You stepped out of your car and into the apartment block. Seeing as you were both still in costume, you darted for the elevator and hit the button. As the elevator began its ascension you  took this opportunity to take a breather, knowing you would have to leg it to your apartment at the very end of the hallway lest someone see you and call the police. You sighed and leaned against the railing while looking at your reflection in the mirror but you couldn’t help noticing the way Scarecrow straightened the noose around his neck as if it was a tie. For fucks sake, if this keeps up you might just lose it. He met your gaze in the mirror and grinned at you.

“I mean, if you want to watch you can just look at me, it’s less creepy.” he chuckled but suddenly stopped as he winced in pain and grabbed his arm. You straightened yourself and rushed to his side. Luckily, you’d reached your floor and as the doors opened you grabbed Jonathan by the wrist and led to your apartment. You quickly looked around before inserting your key into the door, as you fumbled with the key, Jonathan remained eerily quiet compared to his usual gossipy self. You finally got the door to open and the two of you walked into the empty apartment. You felt about for the lightswitch and eventually found it.

“You go sit down, I’m just going to get the first aid from the bathroom.” you gesture towards the couch and walk off. You rummaged around for a bit, eventually finding it at the very back of the cupboard, you checked it’s contents to make sure you had the right stuff. You made your way into the living room and found Jonathan holding a book you’d left out on the coffee table earlier. He looked up at you and then the first aid kit in your hands.

“Right.” you started, taking out a few bandages. “Show me your arm.” After a few minutes of struggling he managed to roll up his sleeve and outstretched it to you. You gently took his hand and sat down next to him. You, deciding that it was probably best to treat the biggest cut first, took out an antiseptic wipe and lightly dabbed the wound Jonathan winced at this but a soft smile from you seemed to help.

“[name]?” He took a deep breath.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for looking out for me. I know I can be… difficult at times -but I really appreciate you dragging me here instead of leaving me to bleed out at the party.” he laughed nervously and averted his gaze from you.

“You're probably one of the closest friends I’ve ever had.” his voice cracked slightly.

You slightly cringed at the word ‘friends’, well, I suppose you better get comfy in the friend-zone. He swallowed and returned his arm to his side before continuing.

“A-and I’d like to be more than that-” he sputtered, beginning to fiddle with the ends of his noose. 

“You… would?” you looked up at him, your heart feeling like it would burst out of your chest if it beated any faster than it already was.

“Yes.” he grabbed your hands and put them between his.

“I like you- a lot! I like your eyes, your face, the way you always know how to make me laugh” he snapped out of his daze.

“-But, I mean if you don’t feel the same way I completely understand, actually on second thought this was a horrible idea and you probably don’t so I’ll just leave and save you the trouble of kicking me out, like you should-” you could hardly keep up with the word vomit coming out of his mouth as he shot out of his seat.

“I’m sorry, I’ve probably wasted your time ‘cause you probably only see me as a friend and I’ve most likely just ruined our friendship so I’ll just leave and I swear you’ll never have to see me again so-” he made a break for the door but you quickly yanked on his wrist which almost caused him to fall backwards.

 He caught himself just in time but was beginning to wish he’d just fallen to the floor instead as he realized he was using you to support himself and had wrapped his arms around your neck. He tried to push himself away, only for you to snake your arms behind his waist and trap him there. You could practically feel the warm air of his breath on you skin as he panted, you could feel yourself melting into his arms and did not stop him as he squeezed you tight. After a few moments, you managed to sit him back onto the couch.

“I want to be more than friends too.” you spoke softly, not missing the ear-to-ear grin on Jonathan’s face.

You leaned onto him, your head resting on his shoulder, he froze up for a split-second before wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you closer.

“So, how far off was I?”

“Hmm?” you looked up at him.

“Remember earlier? When I said I saw you giving me looks?”

You gave an exasperated sigh and smirked.

“Was it Bane or TwoFace who had to point it out to you?”

“Both.” he answered with a slight laugh.

“But you’re not denying it!” 

“Why would I, you were doing the exact same thing?” you scoffed, giving him a light punch on the arm.

“Oww- okay, okay, fair point.” he laughed as he pulled you back close to him, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes and behind your ear.

“Y’know, if you were anyone else I would’ve killed you” you only half-joked, tracing shapes with your fingers onto his chest.

“I know” he laughed, placing a hand under your chin and lightly lifting it so you two were making eye-contact.

“-And that's what I lo-” he cut himself off. “I mean, like about you” he smiled sheepishly.

You only smiled before cupping his face and pulling him closer.

“I love you too, you fucking dork” you chuckled before leaning in and kissing him.

He practically jumped out his skin when you did, but as the realization sunk in he wrapped both arms around you and kissed back, eyes fluttering shut. His lips pressed softly against yours, as one of his hands travelled up your back and cupped the back of your head. The kiss itself was very soft and didn’t last too long, maybe only a couple of seconds, but to you it felt like an eternity. Your lips finally parted when you both were in desperate need for air, but that dazed look on his face made you want to do it all over again.

“You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that.” you smiled up at him.

“Same here” he added, before quickly pulling you back in for another kiss.

[brawltogethernow]

I suppose the next step then is "BBC Merlin but it's SpideyTorch"

Oh my god. TEACHER, TEACHER, SHE’S TARGETING ME okay okay uh.

Peter, secret warlock, goes to Camelot with his mother figure, May, who does not know about the warlock thing because it kicked in when he was a teenager and they both strategically decline to tell each other things. Gaius is Reed, who was the court sorcerer and is now the court scientist. (He’s not an old man except spiritually where he has been a senile professor since he was 19.) He literally didn’t change anything he was doing, considering science and magic as different points on one spectrum anyway-- No. That’s Doom’s schtick. DOOM was the court sorcerer, and was fired. He is upset about it. Reed is just a science guy but worked extensively with Victor, so he’s kind of useful, but not as useful as Peter was hoping.

I know very little about Sue and Johnny’s dad except that he’s a supervillain who...faked his death, revealed himself, and then died for real like 12 hours later? Did he also fake his wife’s death at some point? Would he do a mad king magic ban thing? Idk but for plot purposes we’ll say yes. They conveniently already share Arthur’s dead mom syndrome. Maybe their aunt whose name is different depending on what issue you’re reading is also here just to convolute the court drama. Wait no didn’t Arthur have a shady uncle show up after like five seasons. She.

Peter is very talented at finicky, specific magical formulas. (Reed: :) )But in practice he really prefers to just slam out a big wave of power, and if that doesn’t solve the problem, repeat until it does. (Reed: :( ) He gives this a go at the beginning of sorting out any problem, like restarting your glitching computer, and if it doesn’t work the problem is complicated enough to be an episode plot.

So obviously I’m still gonna do secret identity shit? Peter saves the young prince and heir’s life and is rewarded with a second job; he only came here for job reasons and you’re all lucky he doesn’t turn down paying jobs otherwise he’d be having some words with the king. Peter also accidentally becomes a masked vigilante out in the town. His very existence is illegal because he’s obviously doing magic! They keep sending his boss out to hunt him down, and their eyes are always locking dramatically and shit in brief silent stare-offs from opposite ends of the street in thunder storms at sunset until Johnny’s horse rears and breaks the eye contact causing Peter to snap out of it and flee. You know how it is.

Sue is older than Johnny and thus older than the magic ban, so she responded to it by going “:) That’s nice, Dad” and socking away a bunch of books before they could go on the fire, and now she’s just a sorceress on the dl. This is approx. a first season finale reveal, because her real superpower is being able to keep her mouth the hell shut. I literally cannot with how nobody in Merlin ever exchanges information, so shortly after Peter and Reed learn this they exchange secrets, like sane people, which opens up their resources a bit.

That said Sue is an extra legitimate royal, not the Morgana equivalent. Maybe Gwen should be Gwen, especially since I have thought Gwen/Johnny/Peter has potential since reading Spider-Man/Fantastic Four (which if you read an earlier ask, I recommend if you want to see new art of Gwen being mean in hair clips). But Peter/Gwen and Merlin/Freya are like...same energy except the latter wasn’t as well done. And Merlin’s Guinevere honestly more reminds me of Betty. Morgana--

(wheeze)

(cough)

Okay I thought this trying to reconcile as much of the cast as possible and I now can’t unthink it so. The king’s ward is Dorrie Evans. Yes she goes nebulously sapphic evil witch queen. Sure she was an unpleasant teenager and readers hate her, but you know what, I’ll simp, whatever. Let Dorrie poison some people. In a cape. This feels natural to me. Also Betty Brant and Dorrie Evans???? Betty/Dorrie vibes???? I guess!!!!

So like. The thing where Arthur gets mystically whammied by love potions once a month, except also Johnny’s normal relationship-anticipating giddiness happening organically mixed in, the part before he actually starts dating someone and becomes immediately depressed. Peter is in the bg sarcastically dismissing magical incidents saying he can’t even tell the difference, and Reed is like 😬 Please Check Anyway. Peter’s not, haha, Peter’s not jealous, Johnny is just an idiot, and, okay maybe Peter is a little jealous! But it doesn’t matter because the prince is going to marry some noble and--

Reed: Prince Johnathan is a bit like a little brother to me, so Please Stop Telling Me About Your Problems.

Reed/Sue is reciprocated but on permanent hold for class reasons. Spideytorch is in the same boat except they’re also stupid and working it out by dating their way through the whole country, except Peter is actually into that and Johnny is not.

The dragon is...Ezekiel?????? That’s the right level of wise wry mentor who’s very shady and will kill you, so he’s a dragon now. And when he tells Peter he’s the (other) chosen one, Peter full stop doesn’t believe him. This disbelief goes on extensively. Peter is not a fate-oriented person. Johnny would love to hear about the fate thing, but no one will tell him.

Literally I’m just going to add more chronologically unmoored medievalish shit to Merlin now to cram more of the cast in. There’s some kind of town crier/herald outfit, and Jonah is their boss. He’s just out in the road yelling sometimes even though he can delegate that. The buglers otherwise known as Bugle staff named Peter’s vigilante persona the Spider, which was supposed to sound menacing but is in practice also cool. This is out-of-universe fairly equivalent to Merlin’s real name as a neat two-syllable animal word and possible title. In-universe maybe I’d elbow out Emrys and just use this. Merlin is already very servants-don’t-work-like-that, so Betty just also has two jobs for no reason so she can knock elbows with them.

MJ is the court jester and knows absolutely everything, which is a dramatic mid-game reveal that isn’t exactly foreshadowed so much as always possible while carefully obscured from the viewer (the reader). Before this she’s already a Wise Fool, Shakespeare-ways archetype character, it’s just not clear how much. She is the most important character in Homestuck Merlin Spider.

Every ship is real for at least 30 seconds. Most of the extended FF cast are either magical antagonists or weird nobles.

Ben????? (Grimm, I mean. Ben Parker is dead. Ben Reilly is a recurring episodic plot.) This show was painfully formulaic and would simply not keep someone with any version of his deal in the main cast, but he’s a full quarter of the FF so. A magical accident approximated his rock body deal. Maybe specifically tying him to ~the magic of the land~. And then, uh. Wandering the country is too satellite-like. Hiding out in a forbidden castle wing is interesting but doesn’t do him justice. So I guess it’s a come and go semivoluntary transformation thing that’s kept secret? Rock werewolf. Were-rock. Good opportunity to fake out like you’re going to do a monster of the week plot, and then he contributes to the tension to abolish the magic ban.

Knights?? Wyatt is there from the beginning, being tall and reassuring (holding a sword edition). Not sure how him or his immediate ancestors got to Europe and then ended up this involved with the local nobility, but it was probably exciting. And Flash, or he’s an early addition. Either way he’s from the same village as Peter and is approximately White’s Kay, except directed at the wizard instead of the future king, and otherwise you can completely superimpose their comic dynamic including the fanboying over the secret identity angle, which is entertainingly seditious. ...Others. I don’t know enough FF characters for this. I’ve accidentally implied the eventual addition of Bennet Brant, but his evil sorcerer of the week energy is very strong, so maybe not. Randy eventually because I already implied the Robertsons and can see it.

This is so long, covers nothing, and explains none of the namechecks. Using both these characters’ franchises in one fusion is too much stuff. I keep not talking about the core relationship because it’s just. Like That. I don’t feel like I need to elaborate on the Merthur dynamic, even transposed on a different ship. It’s Just Like That.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E98 (March 10, 2020)

Be warned: there are spoilers for the most recent episode below!

Tonight’s guests are Ashley Johnson and Travis Willingham!

Announcements: On Monday at 7 PM Pacific, there will be a special Doom: Eternal one-shot! VOD will be on YouTube on Wednesday. We’re one week away from the release of the new campaign book, Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount!

Episode 98: Dark Waters

Stats! 124 days passed between the Nein’s voyages at sea. It’s been 77 days since Fjord’s pact was broken. Fjord took 40% of the damage taken by the Nein and the crew (Yasha took second-most at 21%).

What’s it like RPing dream sequences with Matt? Ashley: “It gives me the fear.” They both agree it’s a panic feeling first, and then you get excited to see where he’ll go. Travis: “All cognizant thought goes out the window.” Ashley feels like she rushes it sometimes to avoid keeping the attention on her too long, and Travis dreads the open-ended questions: “What do you do?”

This is the first time Travis has had to wait a week to find out if his character will be revived. “Aside from analyzing the fight, it’s been okay, just because we’ve got two dope-ass clerics who feel pretty strongly about Fjord, so I hope we’re in a good place.” He’s mostly concerned about the intangibles and what they don’t know. He didn’t know the orb was still in him---he thought it was destroyed or reset when he threw away the sword. He’s worried that if they try “the normal cleric stuff”, it’s not going to work. He does almost prefer fights that are just dropped on them out of nowhere, because the anticipation is often the most stressful part.

Ashley’s still not sure if she has the feathers or not, since that was in a dream. “Building the character, I didn’t know that would be a possibility for that to change.” It’ll have to come out in the game. “Outside of that, I think-- obviously there’s a lot of healing with the group, but I think in terms of Yasha’s relationship with the Storm Lord, she’s still figuring that out. It’s very tough love, which she’s getting the tough love from the Storm Lord and the familial and kindness and love from the Mighty Nein. So that combo is going to be really good for her to turn things around. I don’t think she’s ever really had a feeling of worthiness outside of maybe being loved by Zuala. So I don’t know what that looks like for her yet, but we’ll see. I think she doesn’t fully know what her purpose is yet.”

Did Travis anticipate a confrontation with Uk’otoa back on the sea? “No, I’m a fucking moron. I didn’t think of that at all! I don’t have anything the ol’ snea snake wants anymore.” Brian: “Yes you do!” Travis: “I didn’t know that!” Dani: “The dark seed of power in you the Wildmother saw?” Travis: “I thought it was metaphorical! Well, now that you say it like that...” He wasn’t upset at all. “More than anything I was just trying to plan my branch narrative for what was going to happen next. More than anything, it became clear that they had just massive intent to come and kill me. I mean, Matt played it beautifully, so even in moments where I was disappointed in myself, like forgetting that enemy characters can hold their turns.”

Cosplay of the Week: a dramatic cape-flaring Fjord! (Ming.of.mings, photo by Rsellos, makeup by Omglobnunu, all on Instagram)

Travis: “The thing that hit me the most was when it came over and it grabs Fjord’s body and starts to walk him off the side of the ship, I was like, Mercer, what the fuck, man! I’m already dead! Give me a second!” He notes that they haven’t done a resurrection ritual yet in this campaign, only revivifies. Losing the two death saves when getting stabbed while unconscious was the moment when he realized how significant the intent was here. Everyone notes how clutch the Counterspell was.

On Jester and Beau showing concern for Yasha’s wellbeing: “I think for a lot of people, sometimes accepting compliments makes you uncomfortable. I’m one of those people. It’s a weird thing for Yasha to hear, because even in her tribe it’s not like that was a normal way of communicating with each other. Only compliments she would have gotten about how she looks or her character as a person were from Zuala. I think, especially with Jester, she’s such an open character that has so much love to give, just bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, just refreshing to be around, they’re all teaching Yasha very, very positive ways to feel and accept that.”

They talk about the way the improvisation can lead to poetic parallels like Yasha and Fjord falling/rising. Ashley: “I feel like so much of that is Matt, and he’s such a masterful storytelling.” Travis: “It’s such a gift, too. He’s giving you something new in the story that you created, and so you have instant ownership of this thing he made just for you.” Ashley: “You just hope you can meet him where he’s at.”

On Yasha’s harp: “Music is a very huge part of my life. I’m using the harp as, yes, for self-care for her, but also I think music can be a form of therapy. There was a moment where I was like, man, it would be so fun to multiclass as a bard, but then I remembered my wisdom is so low... it wouldn’t work. And I actually had talked to Matt about it. There’s more that I want to explore with that, and I don’t quite know what it is yet. I think where it sits right now, it’s a form of therapy for her. I’d been wanting to give her positive things to do to try to pull her out of this place that she’s in, and I think it’s really helpful.”

Seeing the sword again: “I think more than anything, it just unsettled Fjord. There was nothing about that that was easy to adapt to: seeing the sword, and then seeing multiples of the sword, just wondering who is this, what do they have, do they have abilities, what am I missing, how much do I not know about it?” He was initially worried that it was Avantika come back to life.

Fan Art of the Week: Caleb, Caduceus, and Fjord during the fight! (CreativeBleu on Twitter)

On Yasha having a lot of run-ins with creepy people: “I think a lot of that is because of the way I rolled the character, I rolled really low for Yasha’s stats, which is a bummer. She’s very susceptible because of that to being swayed, as we have noticed with Obann and things that have happened in her past. That’s maybe something that she puts out there, where people pick up on that. There’s obviously still and probably will always be a bit of darkness in her. I think people like Icky-thong and Lord Sharpe and people like that can pick up on it. I wanted to play a character like that anyway, I wanted to play somebody with a little darkness in there. I do think it is a source of frustration for her, and that’s where a lot of the guilt comes from.”

Has piecing together Caleb’s past changed Fjord’s opinion of him? “No, not at all. Maybe it’s just me, but seeing how much pain Caleb carries with himself from his past-- if he was flippant about it, that might give him pause, but he’s so fucking tortured about it. He can’t harbor any ill-will or confusion about where his heart lies. He’s full of regret, there’s a real person in there. I think also Fjord is like, I don’t want to be defined by my past, it really, really sucked. Every day since Fjord started with the M9 has been continually the best days of his life, and I think the same is probably true of Caleb. There’s no judgment because that doesn’t help anything. He just want to observe, absorb, acknowledge. You’re making positive changes, and that’s everything. That’s heroic, despite what you think is monstrous. That’s not who I see.” Brian talks about how life can end “when you choose to be defined by your worst moment”. Travis: “People that chain themselves to their past obviously haven’t moved beyond that past, and that process looks different for everyone.” But he believes you should get to define who you are after you’ve moved past that.

On the few new lighthearted moments with Yasha: “I think it’s the comfortability of the people around her. I think it’s just getting more comfortable with everybody, and also it’s just... I don’t know. If I think of something that I think would be funny, I’ll probably say it, but try to keep it in whatever Yasha’s sense of humor would be.” She notes some similarities to Grog. “She’s absolutely a teddy bear on the inside. She sees so much beauty in the world. I love playing those contradictions. She’s always had a sense of humor.”

How does Fjord define being a “good man” now as opposed to the start of the campaign? Initially, it was Vandren: “tough love, not overly emotional, not really available in that way, but conveyed a strong sense of leadership, knows what he wants, is focused, driven, stalwart, dependable, a lot of those bullshit male ideas. Some have value and some are just misplaced. If you try to live up to the idea of somebody else, you’re often going to find yourself going down a path that doesn’t look very familiar. Fuck it, I’m going to be me and see what that is. He’s got the agency. Maybe you just try and be you and hope that’s a good man.”

[itsomgitsgreenblogging]

Xhorhassian Castle Strategy: A Shadowgast fanfic

Shout out to the ETFC. I swore I wasn't going to write this...and then we had such an amazing conversation that I just had to write this because of the vibes. The Queen's Gambit is a great show on netflix about chess...which I know nothing about and I just figured since that there are no rules for the dnd equivalent dragonchess so I could do whatever I wanted lol. This is really here for the vibes.

Enjoy! Read on AO3 The hotel was a swanky joint, one of the most expensive hotels in all of the Dwendalian Empire. Essek didn’t have much use for the light and the noise...it wasn’t like they were trying to make anything easier for him and he wouldn’t have asked regardless. However, once they all got past the formal stilted manner of most Empire competitions during the actual playing, the after-affairs tended to be rather convivial and light-hearted. Most players knew each other from circuits and practice and other competitions, so it wasn’t too surprising to see players who had just been engaged in tough matches to reach each other and ask to meet up for dinner or a drink.   Essek, as a rule of thumb, couldn’t be bothered with those kinds of things and didn’t really know anyone besides. After all, he was the only Dynasty dragonchess player who had been invited to the tournament...and it had been done out of obligation rather than a sense of sportsmanship. You couldn’t claim to be running the “Dragonchess World Championship” without the top players from across the world...even if they were your political enemies. Essek was sure they would have rather had Adeen (who had come in last or second to last in the past five World Championships) just to save their glorious Empire sense of superiority. But Essek had trounced him months ago so decisively that Adeen had gone to “find himself and his play style” out in whatever backwater Greying Wildlands hovel that artists went to go and starve for their creative vision in. And so, Essek had been invited and now was on track to win. There was only one final obstacle in his path.  The Zemnian was there with the others, milling about after the day adjourned. He had finished his game quickly. Though Bryce was known for their elegant and thoughtful play on the board they got discouraged quickly. The Zemnian had made quick work of them as soon as he smelled discomfort. Brash and bold on the board, cocky almost to a fault in contrast with his placid demeanor-he played to win and was out for blood every time. He had smashed through Bryce’s defence almost instantaneously the minute the other had faltered. Essek, though he wouldn’t like to admit it, had a much harder time with Beauregard Lionett. She was the opposite of the Zemnian. Though her personality was all bluster and edges, she played a precise and precocious game-was flexible and agile upon the board. It was like trying to capture a swallow-though in the end, she had been cornered and forced to submit through gritted teeth. 

Essek made his quick escape up to his room, not wanting to be pulled into an obligatory conversation or useless pleasantries. For a while, he lay on the couch and let the tension seep out from his back. When he played he often felt numb to everything but his thoughts. It was wonderful and freeing and exhilarating. However the minute he stopped playing he would feel his stress pounding in his ears...locking up his jaw and neck and joints. It was like a residual pain that haunted his body and he did his best to just block it out. In his mind, the moves echoed there like footsteps. He could almost ignore the pain when he focused on them. Clicking into place in a rhythm of the clock and-

“Essek? We’re back,” Verin said as the door opened and revealed him and his mother. It startled Essek, but it shouldn’t have. His brother had never had a good sense of privacy. Verin set a bottle of water by the table for him, and Essek took it and swung himself into a seated position despite the complaints in his muscles. “Well? Congratulations on making it to the finals.”   “He was watching me again,” Essek sighed as he took a sip of his water and not having any time for his empty congratulations considering his only real challenge was ahead. Essek would only accept congratulations when he won. Which he would, of course, but still. He eyed his notebook where he had written down his notes the dragonchess matches from that day. He should have been studying his only real competition’s moves, he should have been mentally preparing, but the only thing he could think of was his eyes. Blue and piercing and digging into his thoughts. It was infuriating if he was being honest.  “Who?” Verin asked curiously, tipping his head to the side.  “The Zemnian,” Essek said, annoyed that he even needed to clarify.  “Why?” Verin asked, still clueless as ever. Essek tried to breathe his irritation out and settle his mind. Victory only came when your mind was as still as a pool, it was an old proverb that Leylas Kryn liked to say to him.  “He unnerves me,” Essek admitted. 

“Oh please,” his mother, Deirta sighed from where she was lounging, dramatically draping herself as if she had no time for his concern. “You don’t really believe he will beat you, do you?” 

“The reason I dislike you mother is because you are so incapable of surprise. You lack imagination. I know I don't,” Essek said as he got up with a huff, unable to be in the room with them any longer or else he was going to kill them. And he couldn’t do that...he needed them to get home.  “I’m going to get a drink.” 

His mother threw her hands in the air but let him leave from the hotel room they were occupying. He got a few looks from people as he walked down the hallway but didn’t pay them any mind. Drow weren’t a usual sight in the Empire, and he knew he had a reputation. Essek Thelyss, the young upstart dragonchess prodigy-representative of the hope of thousands of others to break through and make the Empire bend the knee in any way they could. Personally, Essek could do without it all. He wanted-no, he needed to win to satisfy his vanity and ego. But he didn’t care about the hopes of his country. Honestly, it was exhausting to pretend he did. But he didn’t want to lose, and if he didn’t want to lose then he had to put up appearances so the Dynasty would bankroll his way to competitions. 

He stood in the elevator, the other tenants hoping off on the way down. In his mind he replayed the game in his mind and visualized the moves of the game. Barbarian to C5, Monk to 4D-then the Archmage Reversal formation. If he had just put the Rogue in an offensive decision the game probably would have been decided three moves sooner- The elevator opened, and the Zemnian stood for a minute. His face was a study of surprise, as he blinked rapidly at him. Essek felt his back straighten as he held his head high and refused to give the Zemnian more than a cursory nod of greeting. The Zemnian walked in, looked at the button for the lounge that Essek had already pressed, and then stood a few steps away from him. Essek for a minute closed his eyes and tried to breathe, refusing to look at the Zemnian. The pressure in the air could have made Essek’s ears pop-the weight of his attention chafed against his flesh like cheap fabric and almost made him squirm. 

“The opening was surprising for you,” the Zemnian finally said. His voice was much quieter than Essek had expected. Essek was sure he had heard him speak in interviews before, but it was still a surprise. “You prefer the Xhorhassian Castle Strategy.”

 “Beauregard Lionett is a student of Grandmaster Dairon,” Essek said, insulted by the insinuation and folding his arms over his chest. “Expositer’s Gambit. Only an idiot would play Xhorhassian Castle against a Monk lead. I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes as Obann.” 

“You studied her game against Obann?” the Zemnian asked, a quiet reflective surprise in his voice. Essek refused to turn his head and look at him. He didn’t want to see him-see his blue eyes or his rugged jaw or the lines in his face. 

“A decisive and well played match,” Essek said curtly. “I make it a habit to work through all of my competitors’ matches, no matter how unknown or new they are.”  “I see.”  “I know you see, you’ve been watching me,” Essek said as he watched the elevator buttons continue to light up as it moved down. Surely this was the longest conversation of his entire life and he was going to personally murder whoever had built this elevator for forcing him into it. “I imagine you were doing the same.”  “Of course,” The Zemnian said, and Essek was glad he didn’t bother to deny it. Essek could feel his gaze digging into his neck and it made him want to swat at his own skin.  “If you want to enjoy staring at me longer, it may be worth your time to invest in a photo,” Essek said, tapping his foot at the elevator that hit the floor before their destination. He couldn’t hide his irritation.“I have quite a few good ones in the Dynasty Times.”  “I know...I’ve seen them,” the Zemnian said. Essek refused to flush or flinch, and clenched his jaw so tight he was sure he was about to crack a tooth.  “Of course you have,” Essek said with a controlled sigh as the elevator finally hit the floor and opened. Essek took a few steps out only to turn and see the Zemnian reaching out his hand. Essek stared at him. He couldn’t have been more surprised if the Zemnian had grown a second head and started singing Marquesian folk songs. 

“I was going to meet with my friends,” he said, his expression was soft-like Essek was a slightly feral creature he was trying to soothe. “We were going to go over the matches so far. Would you like to accompany me?” 

“You mean my matches,” Essek said, unable to help narrowing his eyes. His hand returned to his side in response. “With who? Beauregard Lionett? Veth Brenatto? Jester Lavorre?”

 “As well as Fjord and Caduceus,” he said with an almost-smile. “Is it not practice in the Dynasty to do the same?” 

Essek almost grimaced. It was standard practice for groups of skilled dragonchess players to go over games and sequences and practice together. Essek never did. Standard practice to be bogged down by old players stuck in their old ways, to be told you were too young or too ambitious or too reckless or too careful. There was nothing to be learned from such sessions that you couldn’t learn on your own or from just watching. 

“Dragonchess is an individual affair,” Essek reminded him. “At the end of the day, you and I are going to face each other alone. I’ll win on my own terms.” 

“I played like that before, but I find this way more enjoyable,” he said with a tinge of humor to his tone. 

“I know you did, back when you had a different name and a different circle you ran with,” Essek said simply. “Your play style hasn’t changed too drastically-you always were a stickler for the scorched earth tactic no matter how you like to present yourself.” 

“My name is Caleb Widogast,” the Zemnian told him, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“It doesn’t matter to me what you call yourself-Nine Hells, you could call yourself King Dwendal and it would make no difference to me,” Essek told him. “My only request is you meet me on the board at your best tomorrow. Show me the best you can do. If I wanted to beat a player like any of your friends, I would just play them again.” 

“That’s a big request coming from the youngest Xhorhassian Grandmaster in history,” Caleb said with a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth where Essek was definitely not looking. 

“Said the youngest Zemnian Grandmaster in history,” Essek pointed out with a roll of his eyes. 

“Have a good evening, Herr Thelyss,” he said with a look that Essek refused to register as something deeper. Their eyes met, and for just a single moment Essek wondered how it would feel to be seen like that all the time. But the thought was fleeting. After all, victory came from clarity...and his greatest clarity was only found in solitude. 

“Have a good evening, Mr. Widogast,” Essek said quietly, not for an instant feeling regretful. 

And so they parted ways without a single look back. After all, Essek had his eye on the prize.

[sexycraisinthanos]

Fishing for more notes and validation, so here’s an ROTG fic I wrote

Word count: 3,613

Warnings: None, kind of angsty near the end

Jack learns more about being a Guardian and himself

Jack chewed a piece of grass, looking at the sky. He closed his eyes, smiling.

Then something dropped on his face.

He yelped and sat up. “What the?”

“Come on, Jack. You gotta get ready.” Bunny said.

“Ready for what?”

Bunny sighed, rolling his eyes. Not in an annoyed sort of fashion, but as if he were a child being forced to go to an event he hated. “It’s the Ceremony of Spirits.”

“Let’s pretend I don’t know what that means and you pretend to explain it to me.”

He sat beside Jack, resting his chin on his paw. “It’s this big celebration we all go to. A day of peace. Kind of like a stalemate. We all just gather around, eat, drink, talk, and have fun. It sucks.”

“Well you do hate fun.”

“We gotta dress up in our ‘traditional clothes.’ Something about how it shows we’re all just people at our core. And we can’t fight anyone!” He threw his hands up. “It’s the worst! Even worse than Christmas!”

Jack laughed, standing up, looking at the clothes Bunny had thrown on his face. “So I have to wear my old clothes. Okay...wait do you wear clothes?”

“You’ll see it. Just get changed. I opened you a tunnel that’ll lead to the Hall. See you there.”

He jumped down a tunnel, leaving Jack with more questions than answers.

After looking at himself in his change of clothes, he started feeling very aware that he didn’t have shoes. He took a breath and jumped down the hole.

The hole ended in front of a large castle. A very pink castle. Jack squinted his eyes and stepped back to get a better look and slipped, nearly falling backwards.

He looked down and his head spun.

The castle was in the air, a very good distance from the ground.

Where the heck was he?

A very rough pat on the back nearly caused him to fall forward, but he caught himself.

“Jack! I was wondering if you’d gotten invitation.” North laughed. “I kid. Attendance is mandatory.”

“Hey...so I have a few questions. Where are we, what’s going on, why are we in the sky, and why is that castle pink?”

Before North could answer, Jack jerked his head, seeing Pitch approaching. He reached for his staff, but North stopped him. “Jack, this is time of peace. Pitch is welcome here.”

“This doesn’t make sense. He literally tried to kill us!”

“Oh boohoo, Frost. You’re already dead.” Pitch said.

Jack scowled and stomped up to him. “I can send you back under the bed you crawled out from.”

A gust of wind filled the air and a tall woman appeared out of a whirlwind of flowers, approaching Jack. “Jack, maybe you weren’t told, but this is a time of peace and weapons nor magic will be allowed.” She took his staff.

“Who are you?”

“Mother Nature. Sweet, darling Mother Nature.” Pitch answered in mock praise. “She’s the reason I’m here. Emily, darling, so lovely to see you. I’m sure your father misses you very much.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him, saying nothing. “Jack, I’m sure you have questions.”

“Uh, yeah.” Jack said.

“This is the Ceremony of Spirits. Once a year all Spirits, good, bad, neutral, gather in a day of peace. To show that in any time of need, no matter the consequence, if we need each other, we will help one another.”

“That sounds dumb. Why are we in the air and why is the castle pink?”

“We’re in the air because Heartstrings doesn’t like company. And it’s pink because he likes pink.”

“Who’s Heartstrings?...Wait, like Cupid?”

As if waiting for a dramatic entrance, a young man swooped down, sporting large wings, pink messy hair, and a smug attitude. “Hello, loves. You must be Jack Frost. My name’s Apollo C. Heartstrings, but most people call me Heartstrings.”

“I thought Cupid was a chubby little baby with a diaper?”

He groaned, rolling his eyes. “I hate that depiction. Why would I be a baby in a diaper? Babies don’t even know how to use a bow and arrow!”

Jack pursed his lips and backed away. A firecracker whizzed past his ear and he spun around as another one barely missed his nose. “Whoa!”

“Oh great…” Bunny groaned, walking up. “THEY’RE here.”

“Who?”

“The twins.”

“What twins?”

“The Foolery twins.”

“Foolery-?”

A colorful puff of smoke filled the area and two very colorful teenagers in very colorful jesters’ outfits appeared.

The April Fools.

“Pleasure to meet you, I’m April and this is my brother Tom.” The girl grinned.

“That is awesome.” Jack said.

“Jack Frost. Oh we heard about you. That snowstorm to get kids out of school? Classic!” Tom said, shaking his hand furiously.

Jack pulled his hand away and stuffed it in his pocket. “Um...thanks.”

“It’s time to head inside.” Mother Nature said as the rest of the guests arrived. “Leave your weapons at the door.” She side-eyed the twins and walked inside as a magical forcefield went up.

Jack looked up in awe. “I’m guessing this is how you keep magic from being used inside.”

He followed them inside and sat in a chair.

Bunny and someone who appeared to be the Groundhog were arguing over a seat, ending with her pushing him to the ground and sitting calmly in her seat.

The castle was much larger on the inside than Jack imagined.

It was probably bigger than the North Pole.

But what surprised him the most was seeing Pitch casually enjoying a conversation with a spirit covered in flowers.

He smiled a little. Maybe there could be a chance for them all to get along.

Everyone was chatting and quieted down when Mother Nature stood at the front of the room. She cleared her throat and when she spoke, Jack realized how ethereal her voice sounded. Like it was everywhere at once. It was strong and harsh, but soft and comforting at the same time. He could tell he would not want to upset her.

“Welcome. Thank you all for coming. It’s good to see that we are continuing to see your faces after all these years. The same faces mean we have the same alliances. We do have a new face here. We welcome Jack Frost, newly-appointed Guardian. This is his first time at this event.”

The spirits looked at him. He sunk in his chair, unsure of what to say.

Thankfully, the room went quiet as the doors burst open. A wind so cold even Jack shuttered filled the room. There was a heavy stomping and with each step there was a jingle of bells.

“You aren’t having a party without me, are you?” A deep, growling voice that sent shivers down Jack’s spine asked.

He turned around, seeing a large figure approaching. Hooded in a dark red cloak, frayed and tattered.

Jack stared, confused, while everyone else had stood, readying to fight. “Oh, come now, you know there’s no violence allowed at these things.”

“Who are you?” Jack asked.

The figure turned its head, looking at Jack. The figure pulled its hood down and Jack’s stomach turned.

A beast. With large horns, both broken. A human eye, glowing red, an animal eye, a sickly yellow, with a horizontal pupil. Large, sharp teeth and a crooked jaw turned into a sneer. Covered in snow white fur. Even taller than North. Just staring at him made Jack feel a sense of dread.

“Who am I?” He laughed. “Never thought I’d have to introduce myself. Nowadays I just go by Krampus. And you must be Jack Frost. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He held out his large paw.

Pitch immediately stood defensively in front of Jack. “Don’t you have better things to do? Like eating garbage cans?”

He growled lowly. “Isn’t this a time of peace? Shouldn’t I be welcome?”

“No one wants you here.”

“Oh you wound me, Pitch.” Krampus looked at Jack. “I wasn’t always a monster, you know. I used to help children. I was the first Santa. Then Man in the Moon decided to replace me. Can you imagine? Me, a loving father, replaced by a man who spent his whole life robbing and killing!” He roared, motioning to North.

“You leave now or not even the grace of the Fates will save you.” Mother Nature said.

“Why were you replaced?” Jack asked.

“Because he wanted to eat children’s souls.” Pitch said

“I wanted to discipline children so they behave more, but one wrong spell and I turn into this. What did Manny do when he saw me like this? Did he look for a way to turn me back? Or did he turn his back on me? You know what that’s like, don’t you Jack? Manny seeing you in distress and then doing nothing to help?”

Pitch pulled Jack behind him. “You will leave or we’ll roast you and turn you into a stew!”

Krampus stepped back, not taking his eyes off of Jack. “I suppose there’s always next year. Pleasure to meet you, Jack.” He bowed and disappeared in a flurry of snow.

Something in Jack almost made him run after him. Seeing him felt...familiar somehow. As if he felt safe near him.

He shook his head and looked at the others. They were all on edge and looked at Jack.

“Why was I so important to him?” He asked, looking at Mother Nature.

She pursed her lips and glanced over at another spirit who nodded, standing. He quickly walked to another room.

“He’s just trying to get a rise out of us. It’s best to ignore him.” She looked to the others. “Carry on. I have to have a meeting with Time.” She turned on her heel and walked after the other spirit.

“Are you okay, Jack?” North asked.

“I’m fine...why is everyone so scared of him? He’s just another spirit.”

“Krampus is different...even bad spirits like Pitch...they still have souls. Krampus. He has none. His heart is...too consumed by dark to ever be good.”

“What happened with him?”

“I don’t know full story. I just know he tried to be stricter Santa and...did not end well.”

Jack looked at the door. Why did he want to go after him?

He stood up and flew out, ignoring everyone calling after him. 

Something was calling to him and he needed to find out what and why.

Jack scanned the area, looking for some form of a sign as to where Krampus went. 

A pull in his chest directed him towards a snowy mountain range.

As he got closer, the weather dropped, winds picked up, and snow spun in the air around him in the form of a snow storm. Both the unease and the bite of the snow were enough to make Jack lose feeling in his body. It was the first time he had ever remembered feeling cold.

He shivered, flying through the storm. There was definitely no doubt that Krampus was here. 

A strong wind knocked him out of the sky, hitting the side of a mountain. He groaned in pain, gripping the cliff face. 

This was probably a bad idea, but he had gone too far to give up. 

He took a breath and launched himself off the mountain and shielded his face with his arms. 

There it was again.

A pull in his chest. 

He looked around and saw a cave opening in the bottom of a mountainside. 

That’s where it wants me to go.

He flew down and landed in the opening. 

It appeared empty. And since he didn’t see anywhere else, Jack figured it’d be a good enough place to warm himself up.

He made his way toward the back of the cave in an attempt to get away from the storm brewing outside. 

Jack took a breath and sighed, closing his eyes. “What am I doing here?”

His head jerked up, hearing the crackle of fire deeper in the cave. He stood up and walked toward the sound. 

Smoke filled the air and Jack sighed with relief as it got warmer. 

As predicted, there was a campfire going. A rather big one. He quickly jumped, getting into a battle position when he realized Krampus was sitting a bit away, preparing some form of meat to be cooked. It was then, of course, that Jack realized that he had forgotten his staff.

“I wouldn’t try that if I were you, son. Ice doesn’t work on me.” He simply said, not looking Jack’s way. “Sit. I’m just getting dinner ready.”

Jack, too stunned to say anything in response, simply sat down. Krampus slowly walked over, setting a large slab of meat onto a skillet and sitting across from Jack. 

It was silent except for the sound of the fire and the sizzle of the food cooking. 

“So what brings you here?” Krampus finally asked.

Jack opened his mouth, but found no words.

He didn’t know.

He simply closed his mouth and sighed. 

That seemed to be an acceptable answer for Krampus. He grunted in acknowledgement. 

“I see. The fancy Guardian party bore you?”

“No. I mean, I don’t know. I left after you did. I...just needed to...I don’t know, talk? To you. I don’t know why I’m here. Something just told me to come find you.”

Krampus nodded. “This is what they feared, I assume.”

“Feared? Why?”

“Haven’t you heard? I’m a monster. You’re in danger around me.”

“Then how come I don’t feel in danger?”

“Because you’re young and stupid.”

Jack pursed his lips, unsure of how to respond to that. He had been pretty foolish in the past.

“Why are you...like this?” Jack finally asked. 

Krampus laughed, making the hairs on Jack’s neck stand. “Why? Writing a biography about me?”

“I...was just curious.”

Krampus took a handful of some vegetables, tossing them into the skillet with the meat and took a bite out of a carrot. “Well that’s a loaded question, I suppose. I was like you before. Human.”

“You were?”

He nodded. “Very. Had a wife. Kids. I was a hunter. Provided food for my people. Then I saved the wrong person and got stuck as Santa.”

“You were the first Santa. What happened?”

“You already know. I eat children’s souls, remember?”

“Maybe I want to hear your side of the story.”

Krampus laughed again. “Oh, there’s always only one side of the story that’s correct.”

“So it’s true then?”

“Do you think it is?”

“I don’t know what to think.”

“I’m not a good person, son. I’m the stuff of nightmares. Even Pitch is afraid of me. Centuries of loneliness turned me into this. I took bad children’s souls. Replaced them with good children so their parents could have the good child they wanted. Turned the bad ones into an army of underlings for me. Word spread around, Man in the Moon was furious and exiled me to this cave. Where the cold is too intense for anyone but me to survive.”

Jack said nothing. He was horrified at what he had heard. 

Stealing children’s souls to use them for his own selfish needs. 

His stomach turned a little. 

After a few more minutes of silence, Jack finally spoke. “Was that why you were turned into a…?” He was lost at what to describe him as.

“Monster?” Krampus asked.

He nodded. 

Krampus nodded. “Unfortunately, doing bad things will get you turned into a hideous beast. This is the result of the spell I created. When you create something designed to take souls, you start to lose yours slowly.”

“Why did you take the kids’ souls?”

“Well I couldn’t very well destroy their souls. That’d be cruel.”

Jack made a face, unsure if he was joking or not. 

“It started out as a way to find the best lost soul to replace my lost children.”

Jack smirked a little. “What? Couldn’t find yourself a Mrs. Claus?”

Krampus cracked a smile, but forced it back into his default scowl. “I only have room in my soul for my Mariana...Died so young...I was able to find her soul and take it before Death could. And my daughter’s...I was never able to get my son’s.”

“Why not?”

“His soul still wanders.”

“Like a ghost?”

“Of sorts.”

Jack sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “This is all a lot to understand…”

“Why did you come searching for me?”

“I don’t know...I just...felt like I needed to know about you. Something is calling to me here and I don’t know what.”

Krampus stood, moving the food off the fire. “Come with me.��

“Why?”

“I know what is calling to you.” 

He started off.

Jack was unsure of if this was a bad idea, but followed nonetheless. 

“Following a soul stealer into his dark and scary cave. Real smart idea.” Jack said to himself.

“I trust your gut.” Krampus said.

The cave opened up into a damp, humid cavern that was significantly warmer than expected. Stalagmites formed into shapes that resembled furniture. Torches lined every wall, lighting the space up, along with the hole in the top of the cave that allowed the moon to shine down on every surface inside. There were multiple tunnels that led to somewhere. 

Krampus ducked down, walking into one. Jack quickly flew after him. “Where are we going?”

“A place that not a lot of people have come out of.”

“Comforting.”

The tunnel ended and they stepped out into another room that looked similar to the main area of the cavern. Except the cave walls had been formed into shelves that held orbs filled with different colored smoke. 

“Whoa...what is this place?”

“This is where the souls I collect go.”

“These are souls?”

He nodded. “They’re not hurt, I promise. They don’t even know where they are. As far as they know, they’re living their normal lives.”

“They’re calling to me?”

“One of them.” He walked over to a stand where two orbs, one with brown smoke, another with bright pink, sat comfortably. 

Jack walked over. “Why would they be calling to me?”

“Because something wanted your family together again.”

“My family?” He picked up the pink one, looking at it.

Jack, come on! I wanna go play!

His little sister was in the orb. Laughing as she played with someone who looked like him. 

Someone who was him.

He dropped it in shock.

Krampus quickly dove to catch it and held it close. “Be careful! If you drop these, their souls are gone forever!”

“That’s my sister. Why do you have her!? Who are you!?”

He carefully set it back on the pedestal and looked back at Jack. Jack jumped, kicking him in the chest, pushing him back. 

Krampus grunted, catching himself. He stood, growling quietly. “Jack-”

“Let her go!” 

Wind picked up inside, rattling all the orbs. Snow spun around furiously and Jack shot a stream of ice out of his hands at Krampus, who knocked it away and roared. “If you keep up your tantrum, you’ll destroy every last soul in here and they’ll be gone forever!”

His voice echoed throughout the cave and Jack stopped, cowering a little. The wind and snow stopped and Jack stared quietly. He panted, looking around. “I told you. I had my wife and daughter’s souls saved. So I would never be without them.”

“You...they…”

“My son’s soul was never able to be captured because...it’s still around.”

“No...you’re lying.”

“I’m many things. A liar is not one of them. You, Jack…”

“Don’t say it.”

“You are my child.”

“I said SHUT UP!” A burst of cold shot through the room, freezing everything. 

Jack panted, clenching his fists. 

“Jack-”

He flew out of the cave, landing back at the Ceremony of Spirits, catching his breath.

The others ran up to him, crowding around him.

“Jack!” Bunny called.

“Are you hurt?” Tooth asked.

“Jack, you look terrible.” North said, holding his face, checking for any injuries.

Jack pushed them away. “Is he telling the truth?”

“What are you talking about?” Tooth asked.

“Krampus!”

They all quieted down, looking at him solemnly. 

“Is he telling the truth? He’s my dad?”

They said nothing, unsure of what to say.

“How long...how long have you guys known?”

“Since you were chosen.” Bunny sighed.

“So you all knew and were just going to hide it from me!? Why? You think I’m going to be as bad as him?”

“Of course not, Jack.” Tooth said, resting a hand on his shoulder.

He moved her hand away, glaring. “Do not touch me.”

“We’re sorry. We didn’t want you to freak out.”

“So you were just going to keep it a secret from me for the rest of eternity!? No wonder Bunny didn’t want me to be a Guardian...look at who my dad is.”

“Now that’s not true-” Bunny tried to defend.

Mother Nature moved to the front of the group. “I know this is a lot to process. I know what it’s like to have a bad spirit as a father.”

“Don’t! Don’t try to sympathize with me! All of you need to stay away from me!” Jack snatched up his staff and turned away.

“Where are you going?” Tooth asked.

“Away from all of you.” He flew off, wiping tears from his face. 

He landed, sitting inside a hole in a tree, curled up to fit inside.

Alone.

Maybe loneliness ran in his family.

Jack chewed on a piece of grass, staring up at the moon. He closed his eyes, crying. 

[temult]

Nott the Best Confidant (everyone loves jester, nott pov)

Nott has a series of Significant Conversations in a rather short amount of time, and she’s not really sure what to do about them.

First is the conversation with Beau. Sure, she was skeptical of the idea of exchanging secrets (she didn’t really see the point, honestly) but she had to admit that it felt rather nice to be trusted with Beau’s crush. That someone came to her for advice, even with her looking like she does and everything. And it was nice to get her feelings off her chest, too. It was probably easy for Beau to trust her, though, what with how good she is at keeping secrets.

A few days later, Nott is still debating how she’s going to get Jester to fall dramatically into Beau’s arms, and wondering if Jester is still caught up in her crush on Fjord and if she has even really thought about her sexuality, or if that was something Nott was going to have to introduce from scratch. There’s a lot of work to be done, basically, which is why she doesn’t mind taking first watch as the group settles down for the night. She’s already halfway into planning how to bring up women and the concept of seeing them romantically when she notices Fjord hasn’t gone to sleep with everyone else and is, instead, making his way towards her.

“Mind if I sit?” He asks, gesturing next to Nott.

She shrugs, still rather preoccupied with her previous train of thought. Maybe she could find a romance novel featuring two women, and see if Jester seems into it? That might be a good idea—  

“Can I ask you something?” Fjord’s crisp, posh voice cuts through her reverie. 

“Hm? Oh, sure. What’s up?”

He looks down, picking at some grass next to him for a moment before he speaks. “Do you think— Have you seen— I mean, you’re pretty close to—”

“Good gods, Fjord. Spit it out.”

He huffs a laugh. “Okay. Okay, this is a sort of strange question. But I don’t know, I think maybe you can offer some insight. If someone were to compliment you and flirt with you often — like, saying you’re quite pretty and stealthy and reassuring you about stuff you worry about — that’s not very platonic, is it? Or could someone be doing that just to be friendly?”

Oh.

Suddenly, Fjord has all of Nott’s attention. “Are you asking me about Jester?”

She could’ve sworn his cheeks got a little darker, even in the dim light of their camp. His eyes stayed fixed on the ground. “Well, yeah. I guess. She— You’ve noticed it too, of course. She flirts with me and tells me I’m handsome and strong and that my tusks are growing in well.” He rubs the back of his neck. “And, well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the attention. And how her cheeks go purple when I flirt back. But I just— I wouldn’t want to get my hopes up if that was just how she shows her friendship.”

Oh. Oh, okay. Nott needs to play this very, very carefully. On one hand, she’s pretty sure Jester’s crush on Fjord has been fading recently (something she had been planning to use to her advantage to get Beau and Jester together) but at the same time, it’s not like she could lie to Fjord and say Jester has only ever seen him as a friend. Right?

Nott decides to be mostly honest, without outing anyone’s confidence in her. She is an excellent secret keeper, after all.

“Well, Jester is a pretty affectionate person to everyone, especially to our little group. She calls Beau and Yasha strong as well, and blushes when anyone responds to her flirting. Did you see how flustered she got when Beau winked at her?”

Fjord is frowning a little, eyes still on the ground. “Right.”

Nott sighs. “But I have to admit she does seem to flirt with you the most, out of everyone. I think that, no matter Jester’s feelings on the subject, you would have to consider how you feel about her. You can’t choose to like someone just because they flatter you. And you can’t choose to immediately stop liking someone just because they don’t feel the same way. So: what do you think?”

Fjord glances at Nott, before going back to fidgeting with the grass. “I mean— Well— She’s really quite remarkable, right? And she’s so fun, and clever, and she makes me feel better about myself which is a feat I would’ve thought impossible until I met her, honestly. And— I kissed her cheek that one time, kind of on impulse, but, Wildmother save me, her surprise was so cute I could’ve screamed.”

Nott nods sympathetically. “Plus, there’s the time you gave her her first kiss, remember?”

Fjord’s eyes snap to hers. “That was her first kiss?”

Oh, fuck. So much for keeping secrets. “What? No! Who said that? You’re hearing things, Tusktooth.”

“Shit, I didn’t even know. Gods, and then I didn’t even talk about it with her after! I just thought I was doing what anyone would’ve done to save her. I hadn’t even thought of it as a kiss. Shit, I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

Well, there’s no denying it now. “No, Fjord, you didn’t fuck up. I know she isn’t upset with you about it. If anything, she was happy her first kiss was such a romantic gesture from her real life Oskar.”

He laughs lightly. “I really need to read that book, huh? Maybe my way into Jester’s heart is a white pirate shirt with a low vee after all.” Fjord stands up, brushing the pieces of torn grass off of his pants. “Thank you, Nott. This was really helpful. Have a good night.”

Shit, was it? “Um, no problem. Goodnight.”

Oh gods, did she just make this already complicated situation worse? And what, if anything, is she going to tell Beau?

—

Less than a week after her conversation with Fjord, Nott is snacking on some spitroasted rat with Yasha while the party has a short, midday rest. It is the first time Nott has eaten rat since her transformation back into her Halfling body, and she is delighted that she still enjoys it.

A few yards away, Jester is reading aloud from Tusk Love to Fjord and Beau, entertaining them while they go through their workout routine. It seems like Fjord is focusing more on the book than his exercise, however, and Beau scolds him for his lack of focus, even as her gaze drifts to the tiefling more than a few times. 

Nott is staring at the three of them when Yasha speaks. “She really is quite cute, isn’t she?”

Her eyes snap to Yasha’s, whose gaze is fixed on Jester as she reads aloud, gesturing with her hands and changing her voice and facial expressions to match the characters. Gods, is she also in love with Jester? “You too?”

Yasha looks at Nott curiously. “Too?”

Shit. “Huh?”

“You said, you too?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, why would I say that, that’s crazy!”

Yasha has an amused glint in her eye. “Okay.”

“I’m serious!”

“I believe you, Veth.” 

Right. Nott’s still not used to hearing her old name come from her friends’ mouths. She crosses her arms petulantly, knowing this is an argument she has lost. Anyway, she’s getting off topic, and she decides to steer the conversation in a different direction. “Do you—” Nott hates this, why does she keep ending up in this position, “Do you like her?”

“Of course I do. She’s very likeable.”

“Right.”

Yasha must notice something in Nott’s expression, because she asks: “Don’t you? Like her?”

“No!” Nott is married, and even if she wasn’t, she wouldn't want to throw her hat into this mess.

“Why not?”

“What do you mean why not? I have a husband!”

“Huh.” Yasha pauses, “I fear we may have had a miscommunication. Do you not like her as a friend?”

“What? Of course I do!” 

Yasha nods.

“Wait— Does that mean— When you said—”

Yasha huffs a laugh. “I am not in love with Jester, Veth. Of course, I find her adorable, and I will admit to have been charmed by her on more than one occasion. In that regard, I do understand why certain people would fall for our dear friend.”

Oh.

“Certain people?” Nott cuts her eyes to Beau and Fjord. “Do you mean—“ when she looks back at Yasha, the larger woman’s eyes are fixed over Nott’s shoulder. She follows her gaze to Caleb, who is leaning against the base of a tree, nose deep in a book.

Wait, what?

Yasha seems to notice Nott’s shocked expression. Her own eyes widen. “Wait, did you not mean—”

“What?” Nott’s voice is shrill now, even more than usual.

“Um, I meant—” It is Yasha’s turn to be flustered. “I was just looking at— For no reason— Uh, um—”

Nott stops listening to Yasha’s panicked deflection, turning to stare at Caleb. He seems to be reading, but every now and then his eyes glance up towards the blue tiefling across the clearing.

“—And, so, yeah— It’s me, I was totally lying, I am in love with Jester and no one else is—”

Good gods, this is a lot to unpack. Nott is going to have to process this bombshell later, but first she needs to calm Yasha before the Aasimar has a stroke.

“Yasha, it’s okay. I won’t say anything.”

Yasha stops mid sentence, looking at Nott with wide eyes. “You won’t?”

“Yeah, totally. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Um, yeah. My secret.”

“Yes.” At this point, Nott is just fucking with her. “I won’t tell anyone that you are in love with her.”

Yasha clearly has no idea what to do from here. “Right. Yes, thank you. I, um, really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” Nott stands up, and makes her way to the rest of the group. She does her best to keep a calm facade as they pack up, and resolves to investigate this new piece of information as soon as possible.

—

Over the next few days, Nott pays even more attention to Caleb than normal. 

She almost can’t believe she didn’t see it before: the way his eyes track her, how he turns red whenever she jokes with him, and how he seems to worry about her even more than anyone else in their little family.

Sure, she’s not perceptive like Caduceus, but she usually notices when something is right in front of her face.

Speaking of Caduceus — she needs to remember to check in with the Firbolg. She doesn’t think he is in love with Jester, but at the rate everything is going, it seems increasingly possible.

She would love to include Jester in her little investigation into Caleb’s feelings, since acting like a detective isn't the same without her, but she doesn’t think that would go over well. ‘Hey, Jester, I’m breaking practically everyone’s trust in me by telling you this, but our whole party is in love with you and I'm trying to figure out if Caleb is too! Wanna join?’

Yeah, right.

It’s less than a week after her conversation with Yasha when Nott finally decides to talk to Caleb. Her heart can’t take the tragic expression he seems to have perpetually fixed on his face lately.

Before she can get to him, however, Caduceus slides up beside her, catching her off guard.

“We are family, right, Veth?”

“What? Oh, uh, yes. Of course.”

“And family can share anything with each other, right?”

Goodness gracious, what now? “...Yes?”

“Good,” Caduceus smiles gently. “I just wanted to check in if there is anything you might want to share with me.”

“Huh?” She doesn’t think there is, unless he is referring to the comedy of errors unfolding around Jester’s romantic interests. “I’m good, I think.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep! Super sure, now if you don’t mind—”

“Because I’ve noticed you’ve been staring a lot at Mister Caleb.”

Oh, no.

“And I just want you to know that if you need someone to share your feelings with, I am here for you.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Caduceus, but it's not like that—”

“I’m sure,” he says, that stupid soothing smile still set on his face. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to, but the offer is there.”

“No— Cad— It's really not like that!”

He is already walking away from her, casually strolling towards the front of their traveling group. Next to Caleb.

Fuck.

Now, not only can she no longer use this time to talk to Caleb alone, but she has to deal with Caduceus thinking she is in love with the wizard!

Look, she’s not going to lie. She did confess her crush on him to Beau, after all. But that was old news! She finds him handsome and wonderful, sure, and she loves him dearly, but she is married. Happily married! At this point, he is her best friend, and all she wants is for Caleb to be happy.

And for that to happen, she has to gods-damned talk to him!

—

Nott’s next opportunity to finally speak with Caleb alone arises that same day, when he offers to take first watch. She quickly jumps at the chance, and announces that she will be joining him to the group. No one seems to bat an eye, and everyone lays down to sleep in Caleb’s dome — this time a dark green color designed to blend in with the forest floor. 

The two of them take watch a few yards away from the dome so they can speak without anyone hearing. Or, at least, that is Nott’s plan — she is pretty sure Caleb must think she is insane for choosing to sit out in the cold rather than in the warm, magical shelter. Still, he sits with her anyway, without asking any questions. Because he is just — the best. Everything he does reminds her how lucky she is to have him in her life, and now she is going to repay the favor by being his confidant, whether he wants her to or not.

They sit side by side in a comfortable silence as Nott tries to figure out how to broach the topic of his feelings without revealing Yasha’s slip up. She picks at her cuticles, twisting the words in her mind to try and fit them together in just the right way.

She finally thinks she knows how to begin when Caleb asks, “Are you alright?”

Nott glances up, meeting his eyes, and finds them watching her carefully. “Oh, um. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he says, leaving it at that, never one to push her to speak when she doesn’t want to. Gods, Caleb is just the best person she knows. He and Jester deserve each other, she thinks, building up courage to speak.

“It’s just— I’ve been a little stressed lately, is all.”

Caleb nods. “That’s understandable. It is a stressful time, and you just underwent a huge change.”

She shakes her head. “No, no, it’s not that. Well, honestly, that probably didn’t help, but. I feel like a lot of the group has been turning to me for advice since I’ve gotten my body back. And a little before that, too. I just— I want to help but I don’t know how. And,” she hesitates, unsure if this is the right way to bring this up, “I want to help you especially, you know?”

Caleb’s look of gentle understanding fades into confusion. “Help me?”

“Yes, Caleb. I love you, and I want you to be happy.”

He hesitates for a moment, schooling his face into a blank expression. “I am happy, Veth.”

“I think we both know that’s not true, Caleb.”

They sit in silence for a long time after she says that, and Nott stresses that she pushed him too far. His eyes are firmly set on the moss green dome containing their friends, his expression heartbreakingly tragic.

She has almost given up, certain that they won’t be speaking more on this topic tonight, when Caleb sighs, and speaks: “I am happy. Honestly. I— I have a hard time putting it into words, and I worry a lot, but I am much happier with our little family than I had ever been before. I can only hope to be worthy of you guys, some day.”

Oh, Caleb. “You are, though. I just— I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, Caleb. You are the best, kindest person I know, and you deserve the world. You are worthy of your friends, and,” she takes a deep breath, “you are worthy of love. Of— Of Jester’s love.”

Caleb goes very, very still. 

Nott plows on. “Listen, I know— I know you don’t believe me, but if you just told her— If any of you guys just let her make her own decision instead of having it be made for her, I know she could love you. I mean,” Nott laughs lightly, with a tinge of desperation, “Who wouldn’t? You are so— You’re just— You’re the best, Caleb.”

“I’m not, though.” Caleb speaks very quietly, his face hard set in the very expression she was trying to avoid. “You may have forgiven me, Veth, by some grace of the gods and the goodness in your heart but— Jester doesn’t even know about my past.” His breathing picks up, and his words seem to pour out of him for the first time since Nott has met him. “She would hate me, I just know it — she cares so much about family and rightness and balance in the universe and I—  I have only ever brought misery to the universe. Anyone else would be better for her,” it’s his turn to let out a small, pained laugh, “and it’s not like I’m the only one who has noticed her loveliness. Either of them would be better options, and I could never try to stand in the way of her happiness with them.”

For a minute, Nott isn’t sure what to say. She loves Caleb but — so much of what he just said is absurd to her. “You might think Fjord and Beau are better choices, Caleb, but that is Jester’s choice to make. How could she choose you if she doesn’t even know you are an option? And, about the other thing you said — Jester could never hate you, Caleb. She already loves you too much for that.”

Caleb doesn’t say anything, after that. He just sits there silently, the same tortured look on his face, until their watch is over and Caduceus comes to relieve them. He hurries into the dome as soon as he is given the opportunity, leaving her standing by Caduceus, watching him leave.

“Looks like you guys had a pretty serious conversation,” says Caduceus, a knowing look on his face.

“Nope,” Nott says, following after Caleb, far too exhausted to deal with this at the moment, “not serious at all. Goodnight, Cad.”

“If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here!” He calls after her, and she picks up her pace.

“No need! Goodnight, Caduceus!”

“Goodnight,” Caduceus says. Just as she ducks her head into the dome, she hears him chuckle lightly to himself and add, “I sure do hope you crazy kids figure things out.”

Good gods. She does not want to deal with that. 

Anyway, she feels pretty good about the advice she gave Caleb today, and she goes to bed wondering how this mess will resolve itself in the future.

— 

Not long after, Caleb tells the rest of the party what happened with his parents. Jester is the first to respond, jumping out of her seat and holding him tightly to her. Everyone else follows soon after, and Caleb is quickly in the middle of a group hug. No matter what happens, Nott thinks, squished between Yasha and Fjord, she knows her family will make it through just fine.

[sibyl-of-space]

Final Fantasy IX ~ Melodies and Memories

"Jesters of the Moon"

There are a lot of very good video games in the world, but it takes some luck and circumstance outside of a game's control for one to reach me at just the right time(s) and place(s) in my life that it has a tangible impact on who I am -- who I want to be. One that carves out a space for itself in my soul that will never be removed or replaced.

I've just finished playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time, and there's no doubt in my mind that such is the case here.

(Continued below readmore.)

I drew this art last year, when I was mourning my attachment to an old favorite game that I just don't feel the same way about anymore: Majora's Mask. I wanted to draw something that captured my feelings about it, because sometimes art is the best way to talk about something when the words don't want to come.

Why is "Jesters of the Moon," the name of a random song in the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack, plastered in the middle of this Majora's Mask fanart? Especially considering I hadn't even played Final Fantasy IX yet when I drew this?

The reason is exactly that "luck and circumstance" that allowed me to fall so uniquely in love with the game.

"Mt. Gulug"

In 2008, someone on YouTube uploaded a Majora's Mask parody-slash-let's-play series called "Majora's Mask: The Things Which Were Taken Out." The series has since become unlisted and won't be linked here out of respect for the creator who probably doesn't want things they said and made in 2008 being spread all over the internet, but because of Unregistered Hypercam 2 reasons, the series inserted other background music over the video and didn't record the actual game audio.

I didn't recognize any of the music, but I watched these parody videos on repeat because in addition to being funny (...at the time, in my mind, at least), I really really loved the music. It got to the point where I would sometimes be playing Majora's Mask and get disappointed when I approached Goht and the Mt. Gulug theme wasn't playing in the background.

I had forgotten about these videos for a really long time in the interim, but I remembered them at some point when I was thinking about Majora's Mask and I found them again. The creator had cited the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack for virtually all of the background music used in the videos, and I realized that despite knowing literally nothing about the game, I had become really fond of - and weirdly nostalgic for - the songs from it that I now recognized.

So I looked up "Jesters of the Moon" and played it on repeat while I drew out my feelings in colored marker. A few months later, I realized that my backwards compatible PS3 can also play PS1 games, and eBay had FFIX for PS1 at a good price. I had nothing to lose by ordering it and seeing what the source of all that fantastic music was like.

"Vamo Alla Flamenco"

I started my playthrough knowing nothing about what to expect from the game. I'd never played a Final Fantasy game before and my overall JRPG experience has been mostly limited to Tales of, Persona, and more recently, mainline Shin Megami Tensei. The only things I knew about Final Fantasy were a) the Tidus laughing scene, and b) Sephiroth. IX seemed like it had vibes I would enjoy, but beyond that I knew nothing about what the experience would be. So I approached it with a "let's have fun and see how it goes" attitude, naming my party members the first silly thing that came to mind, ending up with "Swaggy," "OwO," "Bitchin," "Gunz," and "SWOOORD" to start with.

(For the record I do not regret those names whatsoever.)

I was immediately struck by how differently the game uses music in comparison to all of my previous JRPG experiences. This was not a game where the composer was given a list of theme songs that were slapped on top of a mostly completed game-- this was a game constructed with the soundtrack in mind as a part of the writing process.

The opening act plays almost like an opera (side note, yes I know one of the other FF's has a literal opera, I haven't played that one): you traverse the same locations from different perspectives as different characters, introducing the cast with lighthearted humor and dramatic irony out the wazoo. While you traverse the city as OwO, OwO's theme is playing in the background, coloring your perspective of the city and the narrative. When you switch to Gunz patrolling around the castle, Gunz's theme accompanies your movement and informs his character and mission. I am so accustomed to "location themes" being the norm in virtually all video games that experiencing character and/or narrative themes as BGM instead while I bumble around town changed my entire perspective on what music in games can do and be.

The operatic feeling is definitely intentional, because the game uses a play-within-a-game narrative device to hit you over the head with its themes in a way that is somehow poignant and artful while also being extremely blatant. That is a hard balance to strike, but it manages. The whole game is like that: it is completely straightforward and tells you exactly what it's about at heart, but it does it beautifully.

At any rate, I was enamored with this intro and had a very fun time, but I wasn't obsessed or anything and ended up putting it down. I spent several months on the first half of disk 1 with weeks passing between play sessions. I liked the game plenty, but life stuff happened and I decided to get obsessed with Dai Gyakuten Saiban and Ghost Trick for a while. No regrettis.

It was already clear, though, that FFIX was going to be special to me. My compositions for my team's game in the Global Game Jam in 2021 were directly inspired by FFIX's opera-like intro. I wrote two character themes for our game that would serve as background music when you play as the two protagonists, coloring your journey differently even when moving in the same spaces. I was intentionally trying to mimic the way music is used in FFIX as an exercise. The themes I wrote are definitely some of my strongest work so far.

(You can check out the game here if you want, I promise it is significantly shorter than Final Fantasy IX.)

"Melodies of Life"

Music caused me to pick up FFIX the first time, and music caused me to return to it. After months of not touching or really thinking about it, just earlier this week I was inspired to play it again, because - again - I listened to the right song at the right time.

I was again mourning the loss of something, in this case a friendship, for reasons I'm not going to share here. I had already heard the song "Melodies of Life" because it came up when I was looking up FFIX songs to reblog on Tumblr a few months ago, and I decided to listen to it again. Even without knowing the game context, the song itself really spoke to me in that moment: "a voice from the past, joining yours and mine, adding up the layers of harmony" - it kind of made me feel at peace with the fact that I had a lot of positive memories of that friendship and I could keep those at heart while also moving on in the present. ...I'm also a sucker for music metaphors, so there is that.

I was really moved by this song, cheesy as it is, and I was also definitely in the mood for a distraction. Picking up FFIX again felt like the best move.

It was, and my life is forever changed.

The game never stopped being beautiful and funny and touching, and the soundtrack never ceased to amaze. I recognized concepts I've seen in other games but never had I seen them used so artfully. I adored the fantasy world and non-human cast, I found myself enticed by random encounter for the first time because it made me feel like I had to struggle to survive a difficult journey. Music, gameplay, visuals, and story felt like one cohesive work of art for the entire duration.

Life circumstances got me to play the game again, but the game itself was so captivating and wonderful that I binged the entire rest of it - disks 2-4 - in less than a week. Everything else that the game had to say, it told me itself, in its own context, and I was ready to listen.

"You're Not Alone!"

This is going to make me sound like an emotionally-stunted twenty-something, but it has been years since a work of media has got me to have a really good cry. I used to cry playing games all the time as a kid but recently I'll find myself getting emotional, sure, often tearing up, but getting completely red-faced and snot-nosed because I physically cannot contain the emotions being evoked by a work? Years. I can't honestly tell you the last time it happened with certainty.

I feel like an emotional band-aid has been ripped off. I was f*cking sobbing during the entire duration of the "You're Not Alone!" sequence. It didn't matter that what was happening was obviously coming from a mile away, because the delivery was so raw and emotional and human!!! A whole game's worth of Swaggy punching first and asking questions later to save his friends, being Protag McProtag endangering himself for others in any and all circumstances, for the payoff of all of his friends forcing him to stop being such a primadonna and let them help him for once. It's true, too! He relies on them just as much as they rely on him! And the game doesn't just tell you this, no, it lets you try to solo all these fights and waits until you realize how boned you are until they come bail you out.

When Bitchin showed up with her "looks like you need a hand" I wanted to straight up yell at my tv. YES I DO!!! YES I DO NEED YOU BITCHIN!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! I half knew that SWOOORD was going to heal me before I got truly KO-ed but I had been unmercifully wiped in "unwinnable" battles before in this game, so I legit thought I might have to re-do that whole part of the game again, and I was so relieved and thankful when she showed up and healed me.

This moment exemplifies everything that I adore about this game. It doesn't just tell you its story. It shows it to you, it sings it to you, and it and lets you play it out and feel it for yourself.

"Game Over"

This song is all too familiar to me. Gizamaluke's Grotto was very unforgiving for a first-time Final Fantasy player, especially one who didn't happen to pick up Big on the way for a fourth party member early on.

I hadn't heard the piano part in a few months, though, because when I picked the game back up I started just mashing to reload before it got to that point any time we wiped. I didn't hear it again until the game was truly over, this time for good.

I let it play for a while. Not too long, because I have a CRT TV and didn't want "The End" to get burned in. But a while. Enough to meditate on what I'd just experienced, and how I was feeling about it.

There's so much more to say about the game, far more than I could put in a blog post. But I don't think I need to describe these thoughts in words. I can do what the game did, and use music, use art, use stories, use metaphors, and use symbols to communicate what I mean; and hope that someone else is able and willing to listen.

And although a written record of my thoughts likely won't be preserved for all that long, maybe the feelings and the memories will be, so long as they have been shared.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend (Geralt x Reader, Part 3.)

Series description: The Butcher of Blaviken has a long and famous past, thanks to his friend Jaskier. Yet, neither of those dies easily and it still lurks behind Geralt like a shadow after all those years. History, neither unfriendly relationships, doesn't die easily.

Part summary: Two witchers in one hall can be a lot. Especially when they are not friends at all and if Jaskier and Dijkstra are present as well. 

A/N: Well, here we go with miss reader being a coronated savage and badass bcs she definitely can kick Geralt's ass in ten seconds precisely and kill Jaskier with one look alone. Her song is kinda maybe New Level by A$AP Ferg I guess?

Tagging:  @osgon-azure​ @davnwillcome @missdictatorme​ @nemodoren​

Word count: 2.2K

Master list: H E R E

It was so boring to stand there and watch these people having... Fun. A big man huffed out ironically, taking another sip of his wine. He already hated all about that convention and may I say, he was there only for half an hour. His friend seemed to be enjoying himself and the ladies if Geralt had to say.

And these clothes. For what on earth he was fucking wearing a robe like this? With a shirt that was ironed? The fuck was going on with Geralt? And on top of that, he was drinking fancy wine in the Vegenbul residence. This whole situation was beyond laughable.

"Ya don't dance, mister Witcher? Are ya the big scary man everyone is telling us about?" - A woman appeared next to him and she was beyond drunk. From what Geralt was able to smell, it was a wonder she was still standing on her feet. All Geralt responded with was a good long hum and a stare into the middle of the dancing crowd.

"Ya not a good company. I wonder what does the bard sees on traveling along with you." - The drunkard told Geralt pretty loudly and stomped a few meters away from him. Geralt thought that maybe, she would fall flat on her smudged and sweaty face, but to his surprise, she walked to another group of guests.

The ball was just boring. Geralt was there only because it was related to business. Otherwise, he wouldn't come. When he watched everyone from the corner of the room, he wondered about his outfit. Yennefer would be happy to see him in the clothes he had on. Naturally, Geralt's attention was drawn when a guest who was running late was being introduced.

No-one dared to come late at events like these. No-one was that rude. Except for two people who were slowly walking the stairs while trumpets were telling everyone that these two have arrived. For a small while, Geralt could see only legs - one of them was limping badly. That was Sigismund. Geralt had personally fucked up that lag, he knew how bad did Dijkstra limped. The other one was female - at least according to the high heels they were wearing and a long robe studded with shiny rocks. After a fairly long observation, the rocks appeared to be diamonds - which was extremely dumb and also extremely expansive.

And when Geralt saw that hair, he didn't even need to see the rest of her face. She was dramatic as always - expansive dress, late arrival, and an emotionless face. He closed his eyes and turned away, knowing she already saw him in that fancy suit.

"Let me introduce lady Y/N of Kaedwen and sir Sigi Reuven of Novigrad as the last guests of this ball." - A man in a uniform said, bowed to these two and left. Geralt was already sick of her. No matter what, Y/N was always acting like a child and a bitch, there were no other words to describe her behavior. There was also nothing that would make Geralt sure that this time, she'll behave like an actual adult.

His eyes shot a quick look at Jaskier. That man, of course, was over his heels for her already. To be honest, there weren't many ladies who were showing their cleavage this blatantly; let alone the dress showing her leg up to her thigh.

Y/N was walking the hall, having elbow entwined with Sigi's, giving a pleasant smile to everyone. If Geralt had to say, you were the most pleasant looking and acting witcher of them all. People would choose you as the nicest, yet they never got to know what's hiding under that mask. It was a killing machine full of small numbers. It was calculating every single move and taking in everything around you.

It was too late to hide already. Dijkstra had seen Geralt and waved at him to join you and young lady Vegelbur. Jaskier almost approached you as well - but just seconds before that, someone tugged his jacket to make him play the lute.

"Geralt." - Was the first word he heard from you. - "What a... A pleasant surprise." - You grinned a bit, taking an elegant cup of wine to at least hold something in your palm. You never drank on events like that since witchers and witchresses got drunk extremely fast. Geralt never drank more than one pint of ale but this time, he was thinking about breaking the rules.

No-one noticed the short pause of disgust when you greeted him. So you two were still on the same page you ended up on the last time you saw each other, that was good to know.

"As always, the pleasure is on my side, Y/N." - Geralt said back as politely as he was capable of. Before you had the chance to say something back, Dijkstra stopped both of you.

"These are the witchers I was able to persuade to take the job, lady Vegelbud. They are the best of the best. I swear on my very own name." - The man pointed at the both of you, making you both grin a bit at lady Vegelbud.

"I've met with sir Geralt a couple of times. He saved my life when the murders in Novigrad were taking place and my gratitude for that is endless." - Lady smiled at the man, bowing to him a bit. Then she turned to you and took in your appearance with her eyes. And let's say, you were a lot to take in.

"As for lady Y/N of Kaedwen, I'm not entirely sure if I've ever heard her name. I can see that you're a witchress, fair lady, but I haven't seen you around here." - Lady Vegelbud tried to smile as nicely as she was capable of. She winked at you, staring the unnerving amount of skin you were showing off.

For an unknown reason, you were eye-catching. It was strange to see a woman who was appearing so thing yet so masculine, so beautiful and dangerously looking. Your golden eyes which were appearing as if they shone... She couldn't look away. Gently, you smiled and winked back at lady Vegelbud.

Yet again, Dijkstra jumped in so you wouldn't say anything back.

"That's because lady Y/N doesn't travel here that much. Mostly, you'd find her on Skellige or Redenia with sir Lambert. But that's how I'm sure that lady Y/N is the right choice to solve your problems." - Dijkstra told her with all of his charms, smiling a bit. You nodded gratefully, pushing your lips together.

"Is that so? So you and sir Geralt know each other from the past, have you met, slaught a monster perhaps?" - Lady Vegelbud asked with a burning passion, awaiting an answer from you. Not from Geralt, not from Dijkstra, but you. There was still the silence where only Jaskier and his band could be heard.

"I know sir Geralt for a long time. We've been raised together on the School of Wolf in my homeland, Kaedwen, but after that, out ways parted. But to answer your question, we did slay some monsters together before sir Geralt here got famous by his party in Blaviken." - You smiled sweetly and even if Geralt did his best to completely ignore you, he had to look at you. You saw Dijskra shifting his position and you knew you had already said too much, so you shut up and smiled even more.

Lady Vegelbud was way too curious. She asked you a million questions - about monsters, about being a witcher and a woman at once, about the dream of having a child which you didn't have... You finally got rid of her shortly after midnight. And that was when you saw Geralt drinking his third ale in the corner of the room. You naturally couldn't let that slip past your attention.

"What a naughty boy you are." - You winked at the man, putting your cup of warm wine aside. - "Look at you drinking the ale as a lemonade. Uh, papa Vesemir would be sooo fucking angry." - You looked around, watching the crowd dancing, talking, drinking, and dancing. They were boring.

"Better making myself drunk than trying to talk to you, eh?" - Geralt finished his third ale and then got into your wine almost immediately. You didn't tell him a word, you just rose your eyebrows.

So you were still on the same page you ended up on all those years ago.

"My approach to the situation will be as follows - we have to get there as quickly as we can, kill the monster, take its head and we need to get back. It's the start of fall now and when we get back, it will already be time to get to Kaer Morhen." - You said sincerely and Geralt nodded immediately.

"You'll be getting back to Kaer Morhen for the winter? Haven't seen you there in years." - Geralt sincerely wondered. While every normal witcher or witchress got there in the winter, you haven't shown up in the last five years. There was no need for witchers in the winter.

Everyone always gathered back in the keep to tell stories, have fun, and to share memories. No-one was hunting in the winter since most of the monsters almost disappeared. Each school always gathered in their keeps as a big family, and School of the Wolf wasn't different - yet you didn't show up for more than ten years. You were always spending the winter in warmer kingdoms than Kaedwen. That year was different. You wanted to tell goodbye to everyone before you'd disappear in the thin air. And this time, you meant to leave the witcher business for good.

"Yes, I feel like I haven't seen my family in years." - You answered with a pinch of irony. And according to swift steps behind your back and Geralt looking all terrified, you knew that soon, your party will have a new member. And it was none other than the man and bard himself, Jaskier. Or as you called him, the jester who was traveling with Geralt.

"I feel like you and I haven't spoken nor dance yet. So to be nice, I decided to join you and my friend, lady, my name’s Julian Alfred Pankratz, but you can call me..." - And that was the exact moment when your fingers caught his jaw in a fast and precise movement. You pushed his cheeks together, making him look like a fish before you slowly looked him in the eyes.

"I don't care." - You said simply, observing him. After looking at Jaskier with disgust, you let his jaw go. - "This is one cute puppy to keep you warm in the cold nights, I tell you, Geralt. Now, gentlemen, excuse me while I’ll join some enlightened company to talk about political bullshit. I expect you to be ready in the morning to look at the maps of attacks and what did the witnesses say." - You bowed so it would still appear somehow decent. When that was said and done, you turned on your heels and left the two men standing alone.

"Jesus, first of all, did she assume you and I having a secret relationship? Secondly, how dare she call me a puppy, and third of all, Geralt, what in the bloody ass is wrong with you?" - Jaskier took the half-empty cup of Geralt’s hand, drinking the rest of the alcoholic drink. Geralt didn't answer, nor cursed or hummed, he just looked at Jaskier, waiting for what Julian had to say.

"What is it with you always picking bloody psychopaths as your romantic interest? First, we had to suffer under Yennefer's reign of terror, then there was this whole bloody thing with Triss Ranuncul, and how gladly I would forget about your fling with Keira Metz?" - Jaskier looked at Geralt offendedly, making the witcher stare him down.

"This woman isn't near being my romantic interest. I'm surprised she hadn't tried killing me yet." - Geralt answered honestly, watching you talk to a local alcohol merchant. You were overreacting a serious lot, but you indeed had something Geralt was painfully lacking - charm.  

"So she’s not taken yet is what my ears hear." - Jaskier whispered with a growing smile, but Geralt punched his shoulder rather harshly to get him out of the trance.

"Don't try your tricks on that woman, I beg you. I don't want to scrape you off the ceiling when she gets pissed. I'm going to bed and you should do the same." - He gave his friend one last piece of advice before he left the room to have a good rest.

[rchtoziers]

reddie + 56 👀👀👀

56. “Don’t you dare die on me!”

gene i see what you are doing... i see it.... i refuse i refuse the angst i simply cannot today. if i had written this yesterday then it would have been different but. no angst for me or you today. on god we’re gonna let these boys be HAPPY bro

*

They’re giggly, stupid drunk in a way that Eddie can’t remember being since he was at least in his twenties. He knows he’s likely going to regret it in the morning, that he’s going to wake up with a headache and a taste of death in his mouth and that he’s going to be nursing this hangover for the better part of a week, but right now he’s reasoning that it can’t be that bad. It can’t be.

Not when he gets to wake up next to Richie fucking Tozier tomorrow morning.

That makes all his mornings better, anyway.

Richie is a clumsy drunk and it’s only worse with the fact that Eddie can’t support either of them himself. It leads to them stumbling down the sidewalk and giggling each time they bump elbows or knees or, once, when Richie’s chin bumps hard against Eddie’s nose. It leads to once or twice or three times that they stumble so hard, Richie uses it as an excuse to lead Eddie backwards a few more steps until they’re both pressed against the wall of whatever building they were passing. Eddie’s always laughing too hard for anything to come of it, but it doesn’t matter. He’s drunk and he’s happy and Richie is drunk and happy and that’s what matters.

“Stop, stop!” Eddie laughs, the next time Richie tries to get him against a wall and kiss his neck. “You’re gonna push me down a stairwell one of these times and then I’m gonna, fuck, I’m gonna bash my head in on the concrete and bleed to death because you’re too fucking—Rich, stop!—too fucking drunk to save my life!”

Richie pulls away when Eddie swats at him again, still laughing. There’s a stripe where Richie had licked on Eddie’s neck. “I’d still save your life!” he protests, but his argument feels weak thanks to the lopsided grin on his face. “I could be your knight in shining armor!”

“Jester in tin foil,” Eddie says back. Richie groans and presses a bruising kiss to Eddie’s mouth in response.

“Very upsetting that you don’t think I could save your life,” Richie says, breathless, when he finally pulls away. “I think you’d be surprised. Maybe I’m CPR certified. Maybe I have the AHA card to prove it and everything.”

Eddie sighs dramatically. “You’re the reason I’m going to die,” he insists.

Richie’s thumb brushes against Eddie’s jawline, then his cheekbone, then the curve of his lip. Richie’s eyes never look away. “Listen to me, you little turd,” Richie says. He pinches a section of Eddie’s cheek and grins when Eddie squawks. Both of his hands come up to cup Eddie’s face. “Listen. ‘Cause this is the most serious shit I’m ever gonna say, okay?”

“If you propose to me right now—” Eddie warns.

“Shut up,” Richie laughs. “Are you even listening to me?”

Eddie’s gaze softens. “Baby, I’m literally always fucking listening to you. Couldn’t get me to stop.”

Richie’s responding grin is bright and beautiful. “Good. Listen,” he says again. Eddie can feel the deep breath that Richie takes. “I love you, right? That’s not news. But I love you. So you can’t die on me, like, ever.”

“I’m gonna die some day, Richie,” Eddie reminds him.

“Don’t you dare die on me,” Richie insists. “Ever. I’m fucking serious, Eddie, you are not allowed. I’m going first, end of the story. Or we’re both gonna be immortal. I bet we could find a way.”

Eddie presses up on his toes to kiss Richie. He grabs a fistful of Richie’s sweater with both of his hands and tugs him closer. He doesn’t even care that they’re in public and that they’re against a dirty building and that it’s not late enough that the streets of New York are empty. He doesn’t care that they just came from a stupid work party where Eddie didn’t win an award and they had no choice but to get drunk on shitty champagne. He doesn’t care about anything except for kissing Richie, and kissing Richie for as long as fucking possible for the rest of their lives. Hell, for the rest of eternity, apparently.

Richie’s the only fucking thing that he cares about.

“We’ll find a way,” he agrees, and maybe it’s the alcohol speaking or maybe it’s just Richie’s obnoxious and unwavering optimism, but Eddie kind of believes it. They could find a way. Even if they don’t, they’ll be together for the rest of their lives.

There’s no question about that.

[naturalnein]

you were infinitely mine

Jester has waltzed through life assuming it’s like living out a story.

Now she stands before a real beast, more ancient than she can comprehend, and she knows real life is different. She’s known for a while, whether or not she’s wanted to admit it. Adventure is gruesome and terrifying and sad. These are not things she’d ever imagined nor things she’d planned for.

Nothing has felt less like a story than the moment Jester sees Beau dangling limp from the mouth of the dragon.

...

or: The Nein's encounter with the white dragon ends in a fatality, and the resulting ritual

alternatively, read on ao3 and leave a comment

Jester has waltzed through life assuming it’s like living out a story.

If pressed, she’d say it was because of all the time she spent alone in her room, weaving increasingly elaborate tales to the paneled walls; painting towers that reach the clouds, acting out the moment she slays the dragon and saves the day, envisioning one of her beautiful imaginary friends dramatically professing their undying love for her. These were the things she clung to when the world felt small and she felt the most alone. When she is set free, these fantasies are the only sense of reality she has. 

Now she stands before a real dragon, more ancient than she can comprehend, and she knows real life is different. She’s known for a while, whether or not she’s wanted to admit it. Adventure is gruesome and terrifying and sad. These are not things she’d ever imagined nor things she’d planned for. And sometimes it is easy to ignore, when a mission is completed without a scratch or afterwards when she laughs with her friends in a tavern and recounts the battle. It feels nice to walk through her childhood fantasies, even if for a moment, even if it’s not true.

Nothing has felt less like a story than the moment Jester sees Beau dangling from the mouth of the dragon.

See, if this were a story, the moment would be in slow motion. Jester would catch the movement of the dragon, she would know (because she always knows, when it comes to Beau) what it planned to do, she would know just the spell to stop it. Beau would wink in thanks, Jester would blush, and later tonight in the darkness of their room Beau would say You saved my life, Jess, it… it means a lot. That’s how it goes in her novels. No one is hurt, the beast is slain, the night ends with riches and laughter and tentative sincerity.

But this is not a story, Jester’s life has never been a novel. As it is, she doesn’t see the dragon strike, only catches a flash of familiar blue swinging from it’s jaws. She spins in terror just in time to see Beau’s body dropped, crack against the ice and skid to a halt. Too still, eerily still.

A flash of fire from the other side of the cavern draws the dragon’s attention, and only then does Jester regain her senses enough to think: What were you doing you could have stopped this get to her now she is hurt she needs your help--

“Beau!” The scream tears from Jester’s throat before she realizes she’s opened her mouth and she stumbles forward, frantic. Her knees slam against the cavern floor: a solid sheet of ice that sears the scrapes criss-crossing her legs and makes shreds of her tights. 

Her shaking hands hover, unsure and terrified. There are horrible, gaping wounds ripping through Beau’s beautiful Xhorhasian clothes. Jester thinks blood, there should be blood, before realizing it’s all frozen over from the temperature of the dragon’s teeth, like scabs of frost stretching across her chest.

With a deep breath, Jester casts cure wounds. It’s enough to wake Beau up, at least. She’ll see how the rest of the party is doing with the dragon, then she’ll see if she can get her back on her feet. Scary, but nothing she hasn’t done before. It’s fine, it’s fine.

The magic spills from Jester’s palms and spreads across Beau’s body. One moment--two, three four--and there’s no sign of movement. Confused and losing time, Jester tries again. Expends more of her energy, more of her magic, why isn’t this working? Instinctually and thoughtlessly Jester rests two fingers to the pulse at Beau’s neck, fully expecting a beat beneath the surface, which is why when she doesn’t find one she chokes. Unwittingly, tears spring to the corners of her eyes and she cannot believe that this is real, that this is something that is happening. She grabs at Beau’s wrist and checks there--nothing. 

“Beau,” she says quietly, holding her fingers and waiting. “Beau.” Nothing. “Beau, Beau, Beau, oh my god, oh my god.” The tears finally spill over as she scrambles for her pouch, clawing through for diamonds. She cries out when she can’t find them and yanks off her entire belt, sending components scattering across the icy floor, but it doesn’t matter because there they are, beautiful and glittering in the dim light.

Jester grasps them victoriously in her hand and frantically scatters the gems across Beau’s body. With a deep breath, she closes her eyes and calls out to the Traveler for the power to complete the spell. “Bring her back please,” she pleads over the grunting and yelling coming from deep inside the cavern.

His abrupt presence brings with it a wave of sweet relief. She feels him here before he even touches her, like a phantom limb. His hands curl around her shoulders and he leans in close to her ear. “I’m sorry,” he says regretfully. “I cannot.”

Jester pulls from his touch and spins to face him. “Why?! It’s just like Caduceus, we did that before. We don’t need the Wildmother, you’re powerful enough on your own I know--”

He reaches out a cloaked arm and cups her cheek in his hand. “My sweet Jester, it’s been too long. She’s beyond my reach with that spell. I am truly sorry.” He sighs and before Jester can argue, he’s gone.

Fear seizes her heart as she turns back to Beau’s body. She tries to breathe (she is panicking, this she knows for certain) but the only thing that comes out is a hollowing gasp. She waited too long. She waited too long and because of that Beau is dead. Beau is dead and she can’t bring her back.

In the stories, good people don’t die, and this is the sealing fate on all her fantasies.

Somewhere behind her, the dragon dies. Jester’s violent sobs are masked by victorious cheering, and they echo in harmony down the cavern; cruel mimicry of each other. A mockingjay’s song.

She presses the diamonds into Beau’s chest with all the strength she has left, harder and harder and harder, until they begin to leave indents in her skin. Jester pushes outward again with the magic she used to bring life back to Caduceus. She is a healer, this is what she does, this is her job, this is her only job, this is the reason she’s here and sometimes she’s shitty at it but sometimes she’s good too and she needs to be good this time, this time and no other time if that’s what it takes, because nothing has ever mattered more than this and she’s trying so hard, she’s giving everything, but Beau is just laying there, still and cold and dead.

Jester grabs the diamonds in her fist, throws them against the cavern wall, and screams. 

Though the world around her is muffled, like someone has put their hands over her ears and started to squeeze her skull, she can tell the cheering has stopped. Now there’s a pounding of footsteps in time with her heart and they’re beating ever closer.

She pulls Beau’s head into her lap and grasps her face with both hands, thrusting any healing magic she has left into her. “Traveler, please!” She begs between incantations. “Please, I need you, she needs help, please, please, please Beau wake up.”

Jester’s hands slip further down, thumbs pressed against Beau’s jawline as her fingers curl around the back of her neck. Gently, she brushes against the pads of her fingers against the short hairs of Beau’s undercut. It’s as soft as she ever imagined, but this isn’t right, this isn’t how the stories go. This is wrong, this is all wrong. They were supposed to have more time.

“You promised!” Jester yells to the open cavern, tears flowing freely. “You promised and where are you?! I need you! I need you to heal her, Traveler, I’m not strong enough, but you are. You are so strong, you can fix this, you can bring her back to me. Please I’ve done everything you’ve ever wanted, just--”

The footfalls of her friends finally come to a skidding stop. Someone’s hands grasp her shoulders and try to pull her back, but Jester wraps her arms around Beau’s neck and cuts herself off by screaming “No, Beau! It’s Beau I can’t heal her she’s- she’s--”

“Jester, Jester listen.” That’s Fjord’s voice, pulling the imaginary hands away from her ears and sharpening the world back into focus. It’s his claws digging into the skin beneath her collarbones, not enough to hurt but enough to keep her present in her own mind. “Caduceus can help her, but you have to let go.”

“The diamonds don’t work, I tried. I tried so hard, Fjord.” Jester’s voice is gruff and muffled against Beau’s neck. A shiver passes through her when her lips brush where there should be a pulse, but instead the blood lays still beneath the skin.

“I know. I know. But Caduceus has another spell that will work.” A beat. Neither of them move. “Jester, there’s not much time, let go. She’ll be fine if you just let go.”

He couldn’t pull her away from Beau even if he wanted to. He doesn’t have the brute strength Jester does, nor half the willpower. They both know it.

“I promise,” he says. His voice sounds raw.

She lets go.

There’s a flurry of motion as she sinks back on her knees. Though she’d hoped he’d stay, if only to keep her upright, Fjord pulls his hands off her shoulders and hurries to Caduceus’s side to aid in preparing the spell. The firbolg begins to pull components from his various pouches, Caleb hovering at a safe distance and providing what he can. Nott scurries over and positions Beau’s limbs closer together, less askew. She catches Jester’s eye and says, lightly, “More like she’s sleeping.”

Nott doesn’t know that when Beau sleeps, she takes up the entire bed. Arms spread to either side, legs kicked apart. Nott doesn’t know that when the room is small and they have to share one mattress, Beau apologizes, says she’ll take the floor, and Jester can’t tell her it’s fine fast enough. On those nights their limbs tangle together, Beau’s fingers always find themselves threaded through Jester’s hair. It’s the best she ever sleeps, curled into her best friend, flung out across the sheets. Nott doesn’t know that. She doesn’t know, she’s just trying to help, she’s just trying to make it easier. Jester bites her lip to keep the sob lodged in her throat from escaping.

Reani emerges from the chaos and kneels next to her, looping an arm around Jester’s shoulders and pulling her close to her chest. Jester feels horribly selfish for expecting comfort when her friends are preparing to revive Beau, but still feels a weight lifted from her chest when the aasimar whispers “She was good. Samliel doesn’t kill the good. Not before they’ve served their purpose, anyway, until they’re very old and very grey and Beau is neither, she’s in great shape, actually. Still super attractive. Pinkie will do his job and she will live. It’s okay, it really is.”

Through her tears, Jester gives a watery laugh. She wants to keep Reani forever; siphon some of this surety to keep for herself.

“Hm, okay,” Caduceus says, abruptly. “I think it’s ready now.”

With bated breath, they watch as he calmly cites the incantation. A handful of runes around Beau’s body flare, then go dark. Jester recognizes this, she recalls the balmy evening on the sea when the Traveler taught it to her, it’s revivify. She feels sick when she reaches inside herself and realizes she wouldn’t have had enough magic to cast this spell, even if she’d remembered it’s existence.

But she does remember enough, now, to know what comes next. Caduceus looks around at each of them in turn and says “Three of you need to contribute to the ritual.”

“Contribute?!” Nott says in a low, whispery screech, as though she could wake the dead. “What, with like our blood?”

“No, no, nothin’ like that.” Caduceus sighs, wary and placating. “More like gifts. Or words, if that’s easier. Something to convince her to come back, is all.”

There’s another prolonged silence where they all glance at each other, tight-lipped and nervous. None of them want this burden. It’s so heavy.

Finally, Fjord lurches forward. “I’ll go, then.”

He sits awkwardly on his knees beside Beau’s body, hands clasped in his lap. He swallows once, adam’s apple bobbing, then clears his throat. “I, uh, I don’t have anything to give you. Nothing material, anyhow. And I am not entirely sure how this is supposed to work,” he breathes out in something like a laugh, “but I know that you’ve been there with me since the beginning. Through everything with Uk’otoa and my powers vanishing, our time at sea, saving me from Yasha. You’ve never left my side, no matter how rough things have gotten.”

Fjord pauses and takes a deep breath. He tentatively reaches out and places a hand on Beau’s shoulder, bowing his head. His voice is low, a mutter indicative of his embarrassment.  “We, uh, we had a saying, back on my ship. You’ve gotta be willing to put as much faith in your first mate as you do in the boards beneath your feet, otherwise you’re setting out to sink. And it--heh--it sounds ridiculous now, but what that means is that you can’t be expected to make any journey without someone to fall back on, to put your trust in. You’ve been that for me, keeping me in line, doing right by me no matter how much I seem to fuck things up. You… you can’t go before I get to return the favor. You and I, we promised to check each other. This is me telling you it’s not your time, first mate. There’s still work to be done.”

Jester’s heart constricts. She wants to touch him, but he sits across the ritual and she can’t bring herself to reach over Beau’s body, no matter how sad he sounds, how horribly lost. So she stays still and lets her tears wet the torn skirt of her dress. Reani links their arms together and whispers “That was very sweet, Fjord.”

Her words seem to knock him from a daze. Fjord squeezes Beau’s shoulder once before shuffling back and crossing his arms over his chest, a blush rising in his cheeks. He looks to Caduceus. “How was that?”

“We’ll see,” Cad replies, but he nods approvingly. “Who’s next?”

Jester feels the pounding of her heart in her throat. She knows Beau better than anyone else, here and maybe anywhere, she should be volunteering. All her friends are watching her, they’re waiting on her, they’re getting confused. It was Jester they found cradling her body, begging her god to bring Beau back. Jester is her best friend. Jester always has something to say. Why is she so quiet now? 

Here it is: she can’t speak. Even if Jester had an answer, she wouldn’t be able to say it, her chest tight and vision blurry. There are so many things she wants to tell Beau, the little moments, the small comforts, what they all meant to her. Bits of her heart she’s only ever shared with the Traveler. But she’s messed up so much these past few months, neglecting her healing and making things strange with Fjord and that stupid letter to Astrid, putting her mama in danger. Beau is something she can’t afford to ruin. She’ll never, ever forgive herself if she does.

Caleb kneels in the same place as Fjord and catches Jester’s downcast eyes. He bows his head, just slightly, and raises his eyebrows. She feels more tears prick at the corners of her eyes and shakes her head vehemently.

“I’ll go,” he announces, not breaking her gaze. 

Caleb sees her for who she is in this moment, broken pieces all exposed, and that is enough.

He grabs the two the two splintered pieces of Beau’s staff and holds them together, sad eyes darting back and forth between the monk’s slack face and his own bloodied hands. Two lodestones gathered near him, he begins to mutter something indistinguishable. After a silent minute, the wood grows back, reaching across the break and mending the staff.

“This won’t be enough. This will never be enough,” Caleb says with ferocity. “Not for what you’ve done for me. For listening, for caring enough to argue. Even when we are not on good terms you show me compassion. It has not been… common. In my life. To have someone who holds and refuses to let go. You have done that for nearly as long as this group has been travelling together. You are what makes us a family, ja? All of us on our own, we are strong, but you are the one who keeps us from spiralling out of control. You are the glue.” 

Caleb’s voice thickens with emotion and he clasps Beau’s shoulder, both in the shadow of Fjord and the hundred other times he’d done to previously: grasping at Beau when looking through Frumpkin’s eyes, a pale hand on blue fabric, her fingers wrapping over his to keep him steady. Jester hadn’t ever thought she’d paid all that much attention, but the memories come to her in vivid clarity. 

Children of the Empire, realizing they may have been on the wrong side of history all along. Children of the Empire, pulled from the asylum, pulled from the monastery, set upon this path. Children of the Empire, all grating personalities and heated arguments turned vows and sibling affection. Children of the Empire, grounding posts for one another.

“I-ah-I owe you so much, more than a bit of wood or words. You are still needed, Beauregard. More than you know.”

Caleb bows his head, takes a deep, shuddering breath, and stands. With a blink of a tentative smile towards Jester, he shuffles back into the shadows, eyes darting across the scene. Even from her spot by the ritual, Jester can see his forearms are more irritated than usual. He continues to scratch at them vigorously, pale red against bright white scars. 

She has to remind herself that they can heal. They can heal. 

“I’ll go,” Jester murmurs, and her friends glance to her sharply. She looks up at each of them in turn. “I’ll be the last contribution.”

No one motions her forward. The air has been sucked from the cavern. This is the last chance to get their monk back. They all know it and it hangs over them, dark and heavy as storm clouds.

Careful not to smudge the runes, Jester pulls away from Reani’s embrace and grabs Beau’s limp hand in her own. She doesn’t know what is too intimate and what is not, she’s never had to think about before, never cared for anyone like this. It’s always come so easy but now she’s Beau’s last hope and the feeling of her best friend’s fingers intertwined with hers is at once not enough--never enough--and so excruciatingly overwhelming that she wants to let go, scorched with want.

But she doesn’t, despite the whisper in her ear that says this is going to spiral out of control. Instead, she brings Beau’s hand to her lips and whispers please against the skin, barely a breath. Gathering courage.

Her voice an octave higher than normal, thin and close to shattering, she says: “Hi, Beau. Wish you were here. I mean, really here, all of you. Heh- what is a body without a soul, amirite? Not much it seems, uhm- I-” Jester breaks herself off with a sob. “I need you here Beau. I know I said that I would be the one to protect you and I failed and I’m sorry, I am so so sorry, but you need to come back because I’m pretty sure you’re the one who’s always protecting me and I don’t want to be without that anymore. Since we left my mama it’s you who’s made me feel the safest; every time, Beau. Even when it’s a little comfort, or even just a joke, I feel like I am home again, y’know? I mean, the Menagerie Coast is always going to be my real home, obviously, but you’re my home now, too. You’re where I am at ease.”

Jester gives a watery laugh, tucking herself in as close to Beau’s body as she can come. Her voice comes out in a whisper, as though this were no different than the nights they spent awake in the darkness their room, vulnerable and raw. “I’ve never had a best friend before. I’ve never had any friends before Trostenwald. Beau- Beau maybe that’s why this was so hard for me to figure out, y’know? I don’t know a lot about love, not like, romantic love. I mean, I read a lot of smut, but I feel like that’s definitely not the same thing? At least it’s not anything like the way I feel about you, which is just so much more in every way. I don’t know. I don’t know. I needed more time to figure it out, okay?! I needed you to stay here and continue to be smart and beautiful and kind and then maybe I would’ve found a good way to say it but now you’re dead and it’s all my fault and I need you to come back so I can do this right. Please, Beau. I’m just- I’m asking for this one more thing--”

Breathless, Jester drops Beau’s hand, grabs either side of her face, and kisses her. 

It’s nothing like she imagined. It’s still and cold and terrifying, but as Beau’s lips move and she sucks in a breath, Jester knows it’s enough. She pulls away, but leaves her hands, just enough to get a good look at her best friend’s--her something’s--face, renewed with life. 

“No way, that works?!” Nott exclaims at the same time Caduceus says “Well that isn’t something you see every day” and Beau murmurs “What the fuck?”

“You’re back,” Jester whispers. She couldn’t stop the grin growing on her face if she tried. “You came back to us, just like I knew you would.”

Beau blinks, eyes trying to focus on Jester’s face at such close range. “Did you just kiss me?”

“Uh- well- y’know, we all really wanted you back--”

“Do it again.”

So Jester does. 

She thinks that out of all the stories she could have possibly told, reality may be the best one yet.

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E59

Wow, so coming off of a lean week, we get a lot of uh, punch, to the shipping totals. Wow. Wowie. Masterpost here. 

This week debuts our new Cockblocking Points program, which fills—or rather prevents from being filled—a hole in the shipping calculations up till now.

+20 to Fjord/Caduceus as Caduceus proves once again what a fantastic Charisma Partner he makes with Fjord as they work together in perfect sync to bring the giants to their side. Featuring 1) Fjord draping his arm around Caduceus (!!!) and 2) Caduceus initiating Fjord’s favorite “I work for Fjord” roleplay (!!!!!!!!!). Besides that, muchos complimentos on both sides, even if Caduceus’ pleasure with Fjord taking his side and saying “You’re usually the voice of caution” conveniently ignores how Fjord’s reckless actions rarely ever line up with what his cautious mouth says. Fjord making goopy eyes when Caduceus admits of his altruistic plans that he can “be on the soft end of things” and making something perilously close to a romantic declaration when he says, “I trust your heart, Caduceus. It’s in a good place.” And lest it be forgotten, Caduceus fucking saving Fjord’s life from Mosquito Man. Keep that cleric close, Fjord! Romance him if that’s what it takes!

+15 to Caduceus/Every Single NPC. As per usual, Caduceus’ classic fairy tale princess sweetness  and Common Courtesy earns the implicit trust of everyone within a ten mile radius—all the giants like him, and only him, absolutely no one else.

+4 to Beau/Sensing Bullshit as she is the only person who picks up on and seems concerned about how Caduceus seems to think this mountain clearing quest is related to his personal quest for……no discernible reason. Are we concerned about the vagueness? No? All right then. Something is off about that dude, even if he’s not secretly plotting to murder the M9 in the mountain caves.  

-2 to Yeza/Nott as Nott entertains about five billion separate fears over the eventual demise of her marriage and beats herself up over having locked the poor man (who just got out of prison btw) in a hotel room and ditched him. Point loss ameliorated as Caleb musters All The Powers of Friendship to lift her spirits with a firm hand, telling her sure, she might be a bit of an adventure addict, but he is as sure as he can be that Yeza truly loves her now and always, that he, Caleb, is glad that she’s here, and that thinking in the macro she can do whatever she likes with no guilt because she is Good, and they are all doing Good together (a moving speech also earning +6 to Caleb/Hopebringer) 

+0 to Jester/Caleb. Pluses: Caleb giving Jester a risque locket, claiming it’s magical and “gives you access to balloon porn” just to make her smile. Caleb’s absolute faith in Jester’s swoleness in thinking she can absolutely just crack a chest open like a nutcracker who needs finesse? Jester thinking of Caleb first when she thinks of who needs healing #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress. Unfortunately, all these points are flushed down the drain when Caleb coldly exiles Jester from the Tiny Hut when she gets the runs. She couldn’t have stayed inside, but you could have been nicer about it—she’s already suffering! 

+0 to Jester/Yasha On the one hand, it was very cute of Yasha to try to share her favorite food with Jester while risking the ire of the giants, very cute of Jester to try to bond with Yasha over this excellent tasting land food. But all point gains were forcibly expelled once Jester got the runs. The universe punishes those who tread too close to the Yasha ship.

+2 to Nott/Jester The word around the lab is that secretly Jester just wants to be a Knight In Shining Armor, which is why one of the most effective ways to gain points with her is to a) buy her shiny armor and b) allow her to protect you as a true KISA would. Today featuring: 1) Jester channeling her inner Aladdin with a “Do you trust me?” and Romantic Proffering of a Hand to Nott before whisking her away to the top of a tower, and 2) Jester hoisting Nott up by the waist so Nott can more efficiently murder their enemies.

+3 to Caleb/Cat Shaped Creatures as he debuts another sexy cat paw spell to dramatically tear down a gate for his grand Cat Person entrance to the battlefield. Was sadly prevented from showing off the full murdering capabilities of the cat paw, however. Points taken away for covering Frumpkin in mud For Stealth, which pisses Frumpkin off.

+1 to Jester/Soorna as Jester awkwardly tries to flirt Soorna into friendliness,petting her and complimenting her bald head which looks “really nice and stuff”

+20 to Fjord/Detective Work as Fjord’s investigation yields 1) exactly the kind of humiliating material they need to absolutely destroy the foreman, and 2) A fuck ton of healing potions! Including a greater! Very sexy cool of him, as Jester very perceptively notes. Unfortunately hasn’t started investigating for a riftmaking device—yet

+1 to Fjord/Caleb as once more their tag-teaming over Detective Work yields amazing (and this time, saucy!) results. Fjord supporting Caleb’s hopeful plan to bring the giants along with them and leave them to die in the mountain if things take a turn for the worse. Their minds—they think alike.

-3 to The Mighty Nein/Boxes as neither Nott, Yasha, nor Jester (on her first try) were able to open the box with the Humiliation Material—it takes some creative artistry from Jester to manage it.

+20 to Beau/Jester as Beau proves that true love is there for you in sickness and in health, being the only one of the Mighty Nein to sit with Jester through her spider-meat induced illness, holding her hair out of her face, dealing gently and uncomplainingly with frankly an incredible amount of grossness which automatically makes Beau a shipping hero and a hero in all future beaujester sickfic. The pair of them getting equally psyched up about the pornographic Humiliation Material, with Beau requesting a dramatic reading of the letter from Jester (Caleb sucks at voices anyway). Beau also continuing to embody the shipping spirit of Molly by invoking the Slap/Punch of Love to return her love interest back to consciousness. Not even an Attempted Cockblocking from Nott insisting Beau is an enemy manages to put a damper on the moment. A+ UnStraight Out of Fanfic Material.

+23 to Fjord/Jester as, although Fjord rolls his eyes and tells Jester to leave the moorbounders for once, earning a death threat from our dear cleric, he cleverly forestalls massive point loss by bringing up the “L” word. Cute, mischievous, also kind of horrible on the flirting front (as evidenced by annoyed head shake from our dear cleric) because you need to jive with Jester’s love of animals if you want any chance at a long-term relationship. However, the moorbounder conversation earns all the points, with Fjord and Jester having a lovely disagreement over which of them should get the healing potion because they love each other so much (fuck the rest of the M9, potential love interests Caleb and Beau included). Fjord trying and failing to pretend that he cares about animals, misidentifying the type of creature Yarnball is two times and asking adorably dumb questions about her in an attempt to Bond With The Jester. He’s right though—he is being disarming. Minor point loss for the awkwardness nearly giving me the spins, and +2 to Caleb/Cockblocking for his pornographic jewelry gift thoroughly ruining Fjord’s moment with Jester. +10 to Mosquito Man/Cockblocking for preventing Jester from Knight in Shining Armor-ing Fjord with a lollipop to Mosquito Man skull, and making her pass out instead. Fainting Maiden is the wrong archetype!

+1 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester as Jester nags Caleb into telling her whether the balloon porn necklace is magical, and Fjord gets increasingly cute at her in his attempts to get her to settle down and leave poor Caleb in peace to translate. The thought was lovely but unnecessary—Caleb can tune all you motherfuckers out whenever he so desires.

+5 to Beau/Listening because despite claiming not to be listening in on your conversation, she can definitely repeat back word for word everything that was said. Not sure that this is what Dairon had in mind, but…

+19 to Caleb/Caduceus “What about that Caduceus though??” Caleb asks with the same “Wowie wowwow” tone he used while charmed by a succubus a few days previously. This man, absolutely starstruck by Caduceus’ ability to be such a sweetheart he can win over complete enemies to their side (bonus if he did it with dick jokes, Attempted Cockblocking from Nott and Beau notwithstanding), all while Caleb was busy thinking of the most efficient way to murder em all. Staring at Caduceus, stunned over his everything, agreeing to his plan because That’s What Caduceus Wants To Do. Caleb doing That Thing He Does where he aggressively bosses someone into being the Leader, because Caleb is not the Leader, he just Commands everyone to listen to the Real Leader—this week snatching the title away from Fjord who has hoarded the privilege previously, and bestowing it on Caduceus, all “we will all look to you,” at him. Saying “you can’t argue with results” which is as good as a love confession from Mr. McPractical, Need-Goals-Met. Caleb finding an excellent excuse to get handsy by picking the firbolg to grab onto while scouting through Frumpkin. Not to mention, Caleb and Caduceus finding a surprisingly compatible decision-making balance between Caleb’s Cutthroat “We Can Always Murder Our Allies If We Need To” pragmatism and Caduceus’ Sweet But Not Overly Invested “Everyone Can Win Here” diplomacy. These two definitely like each other’s opinions and decisions a hell of a lot….

+40 to Soorna/Revenge as despite being a druid she manages a HDYWTDT on her demonic foe Without! Casting! A! Single! Spell! It’s… hot.

+10 to Sam Riegel/His watch as it attempts to save him from a heart attack. Honestly.......same.

[if-weshadows-haveoffended]

Love Is So Confusing There's No Peace of Mind - Caduceus Clay x Reader

A/N: Me, reading the tag, finishing the fics: guess I gotta add some more then.

I LOVE PINK COW MAN SO FUCKING MUCH AND I LOVE CONFUSED AND EMBARASSED COW MAN EVEN MORE. I JUST LOVE HIM. IF MATTHOLOMEW HURTS EVEN ONE STRAND OF PINK HAIR IM FUCKING RIOTING. Anyway in light of episode 95 I’m gonna make a part 2 to this, so this is pre ep95 somewhere idk. Also Taliesin mentioned in an episode of Talks that Caddy shack always has music playing in his mind (I think he went with Bolero? I imagine the mii channel theme), so I’m playing with that idea.

Title: Love Is So Confusing There's No Peace of Mind Words: 2500+ Masterpost: here (x) Prompt List: here (x) Mixtape Archive: here (x)

Caduceus had been in a considerable pickle since his little outing last night.

Their downtime in Zadash had been pretty uneventful save Jester asking him to accompany her to some bakery or another. With her considerable… addiction seemed the right word… to the baked goods, his days seemed to be spent accompanying her for box after box of iced treats. If he was being honest, he wasn’t entirely sure if this was at all healthy, but at the very least it gave him some opportunity to meet different citizens residing within the city. It was easy, he found, with the adventuring lifestyle to become surprisingly more isolated than during his time at the Blooming Grove. There were days where he wouldn’t even see half of the Nein until it was time for dinner. So he found himself relishing these sorts of occasions, more so now than when the group had been less than reputable.

It was towards the end of their first week in Zadash when Jester tore into the room he shared with Yasha, screaming about something or rather about the most beautiful bakery she had ever seen in all of Exandria.

“DUECES! THEY’RE SO PRETTY! YOU LIKE HAVE TO SEE THEM IT’LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! THEY’RE LIKE BOUQUETS OF FLOWERS BUT THEY’RE PASTRIES AND OH MY GOD WE’RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!”

“Is this what you do all the time?” Was what he had eventually asked the surprisingly young owner of the bakery. He wasn’t sure how tall she was for a human, most humans (well everyone) seemed small to him. Jester truly had used all her strength to drag both himself and Nott towards the bakery (Jester had said it was technically a patisserie, not that he knew what that meant).

“Well, it’s a job and I love it?” She pushed back her hair and continued to wipe down the glass displays filled with a myriad of pastries and cakes. Each little dozen was different to the one beside it, and all of them were decorated with delicate buttercream-and in some cases, real- flowers.

“You’re clearly very talented with them,” Caduceus replied, thanking her as she handed him a flaky little pastry piled high with pale green cream and little blossoms. “Oh wow, that’s nice. No, really!”

The young woman had laughed, and he noted the colour about her cheeks. Their conversation had ended there as a number of customers had walked into the patisserie, Jester pulling him out the door and giving her customary farewell. He found himself the following day offering to buy the pastries on Jester’s behalf, solving her problem of being unsure of whether to buy pastries or ditch helping Fjord out with some shopping matters.

He never ended up returning home that afternoon. He’d simply gotten too carried away sitting at the patisserie, chatting with the delightful owner. He’d eventually caught her name (it was a very lovely name, it suited her) and she’d invited him to the pub later that day to hear her and her co-bakers perform as they usually did.

“Not sure how it started but eventually we decided it was a great way to have fun and get some extra pay. Childcare in Zadash isn’t cheap these days,”

“BLOODY SCALPERS!” An elven male baker had shouted while decorating the floral tarts.

“Anyway, you don’t have to come. But I’d really appreciate it if you did!”

And he went, nervously combing fingers through lichen-stained hair as he sat alone by the makeshift stage. His heart pounded in his chest, unsure quite why it felt like doing that. He had no reason to be nervous after all she was quite nice and he was only reciprocating the niceties she was showing him, and the last thing Jester would want was for him to get on the bad side of her “absolute-favourite- the-very-best-the-goddess-of-all-baked-goods-except-for-that-one-bakery-in-Nicodranas-that-does bear-claws” baker. (Or at least he thinks that was all the superlatives Jester mumbled out).

And Caduceus had thought, as he watched her give him a little wave as her band of bakers set up, that perhaps he was finally over these unnecessary jitters. Perhaps he’d be able to listen to her music and perhaps introduce her to the wonders of his little ‘death whistle’ as Caleb liked to call it. Or at least he had thought so until she opened her mouth and began to sing.

He was absolutely transfixed, half of him terrified and wanting to run away, the other never wanting to leave her side. All of time seemed to still and yet flow faster than he could have ever wanted, praying every second he could that he could remain in this moment forever. He found himself unable to form the words that would usually come, as they chatted over dinner following her performance, apologising as he stumbled and stuttered over words. And she would laugh with a shake of her head, kindly bumping her knee against his as they sat huddled up in the performers’ lounge at the back of the tavern. Their talk of every day adventures and his little gripes (gripes was the nicest words) of the Nein in the Xhorhaus, and of the beauty that drove her work.

“…And you see, they’re just such a difficult shade of pink to replicate. Like your hair, I suppose. It’s very pretty,” She had said as they walked home, her hair streaming about in the brisk night breeze. On instinct he found himself moving by her side, curling her under his arm and pressing her against the side of his body. She thanked him, smiling brightly at him, and he smiled back relishing in how perfectly she fit.

They’d fallen into companionable silence, walking their way back to The Leaky Tap. She quirked a brow when he’d mentioned that was where he was staying.

“Well, you’re certainly braver than I am. That dude gives me the creeps.” She made a vague gesture to sweat at the temples and he assumed she meant the Gentleman.

“He’s not so bad.” Caduceus replied with a laugh, his mind desperately searching for ways to stretch this moment out as long as he could. “You really do have such a beautiful voice,”

“No,”

“Really,” He drew closer, holding both her hands in his, “It puts songbirds to shame. I’d love to hear you more.”

“Well, you’re welcome any time Caduceus Clay.”

He froze at that point, feeling her tug him down to press a kiss to his cheek. With a wave she began to walk away, a skip in her step and hands buried into the pockets of her skirt. For how long he stood there, only the Wildmother knew, his face burning up and a sense of giddiness building up within him. All he knew was that he just stood there, staring at cobblestones like some sort of idiot. Part of him mused at how they sparkled just a little under the moonlight.

If Colton ever heard how he was thinking, he’d never hear the end of it.

He couldn’t even find the familiar comfort of sleep, tossing and turning and irritating Frumpkin who had curled into the space by his shoulders. Instead he lay there upon his bedroll awake, staring at the shadows that danced upon the ceiling. His ears twitched at the distant sound of murmurs and Jester’s hushed giggles, but the effort he’d usually use to eavesdrop was simply missing. No, his mind was filled with the feeling of her soft lips pressed against the fuzz of his skin and the way her eyes shone as she had looked at him. And he, cursing his curiosity, found himself lost in the mesmerising depths of her eyes.

And that was how he ended up here, sitting at the vacant bar (save the Nein), asking Jester for help.

At some point his mind began to turn blank, filling with the sounds of a busy hive of bees and the distant memory of music. Jester’s mouth seemed to move much slower than the stream of lively sounds that emanated from herself. He barely registered Nott making some sort of joke that Fjord half-laughed-half-reprimanded her for, attempting to somewhat come to his defence. Caduceus found that sweet- or at least he would if he knew what was happening. Even throwing a look of help at Yasha couldn’t save him from the rising heat in his face and ears as she smiled and said something that threw the group into even more of a chaotic round of laughter. But it was a small quip Jester had made that sent Beau sliding to the floor and Fjord choking for air as he grabbed his stomach. Caduceus did everything he possibly could to just curl in on himself and wish for the Wildmother to send some form of giant carnivorous plant. He was sure Fjord could agitate one enough to swallow him whole.

“What’s this about deflowering the firbolg?” Caleb wandered into the room where he and the others had been discussing his current predicament. Caduceus was unaware that he could get anymore embarrassed than he already was, his face buried into his hands and his tail flicking about erratically.

“Caduceus has a crush!” Jester sang, head sitting on her hands and trying to stifle her giggles.

“I don’t think it’s a straight crush Jessie, it sounds bit more complicated than that.” Fjord tried remedying, throwing him an apologetic look. Caduceus’ ear twitched as he noticed that Fjord was only half apologetic.

“No, Deucey is hopelessly and utterly in the throes of love!” Nott hushed Fjord with a slap to his arm, the latter dramatically complaining of how hurt he was. “Positively twitterpated.”

“Cad needs to fuck,” Beau explained to Caleb as he took the seat next to her, “But like… with feelings and serious monogamy and all that sort of crap.”

“Doesn’t the Wildmother have teachings on sexy times and all that? The Traveller probably does I mean he’s super cool and all that-”

“Well,” Caduceus cut off off Jester’s tangent, his voice louder than usual. He was unaware it could get this high or this loud. It was a terrible reminder of that time they had spent before King Dwendal, the urge to simply feed Ikithon and his rudeness to some deadly creature rearing itself in his mind again. “All… that… is part of nature and something that perpetuates her cycle and her creation. But I don’t think this is what she had in mind…”

“All sorts of animals have courtship rituals, ja?” Caleb not-so-helpfully bought up, Caduceus shot him a brief glare from between his fingers. “I suppose the most helpful question would be: what do you want from this?”

He slowly prised his forehead away from his hands, taking deep breaths and trying to calmly face the group.

What did he want from this?

“And asking the Wildmother is cheating!” Jester added hastily.

Well that removed that option.

He supposed he liked her voice. Music had always filled his mind, the Wildmother present in all the music of nature. Sometimes it felt like it took over. But her laughter, the way she sang, the way she smiled as she sang. Part of him knew that he would never be able to wash those beautiful sounds from his mind.

Jester had often talked about romances and her fairytales, and Beau of other women she’d slept with. Hells, he’d even witnessed Fjord sacrificing himself (not that he needed to) upon the Squall Eater just to appease Avantika. But he’d never considered any of those for himself. He’d always assumed that perhaps, if it ever happened and the Wildmother deemed it part of his destiny, she would send someone along he could perhaps get along with. Someone he could envision just spending hours in silence, understanding and enjoying company. Someone who perhaps understood other parts of him- ones that he very rarely even let his own family see. And she was beautiful, all encompassing and demanding every second of his attention, almost terrifying. But nature was beautiful in that sense as well.

And taking a quick glance up from his hands and a look around the table, the sickening, horrifying realisation that he’d said all this aloud sunk to the pit of his stomach.

“Well,” Caleb coughed into the purring cat in his arms, “That answers that.”

“Perhaps, perhaps oh my gosh Caduceus, what if this is that!” Jester suddenly piped up, grabbing ahold of his shirt and shaking him a little. “You have to see her now! Ohmygosh!”

He vaguely felt himself protesting, saying that perhaps she was misinterpreting things. But Nott only scoffed at him, licking the palm of her hands and trying to tame his hair down the way his mother once did. He felt both Fjord and Yasha heave him out of the seat, pushing him in the vague direction of the door and suggesting something or rather about casually asking- oh no Fjord was saying make a show of it- no, Caleb was suggesting being forthright but gently romantic. Caduceus heard himself somewhat protesting, Nott offering him a swig of liquor and almost succeeding in pouring some down his throat had Jester not shoved in next to him to hand him a bouquet of flowers.

Now where in Melora’s green earth did those appear from. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to know anymore.

But perhaps they were right. Perhaps, as Caleb supplied into his ear holdinga pearl to his forehead, that the small kiss was indicative that she also wished to get to know him better. Despite all his reservations, he found himself somehow trying to listen to every single fragment of conflicting advice Fjord and Beau were throwing at him. He even found himself listening to Nott practically shouting some carnal knowledge into his ear, Jester enthusiastically joining in as he practically tripped over Fjord’s feet. Fjord held him up, though he seemed to be finding it difficult to meet his gaze as the two continued relating all information they thought would help. Yasha, thankfully saving him, cleared her throat and levelled the two with a glare.

“You got this Cad! I believe in you!” Beau had slapped his shoulder hard enough for him to almost stumble out the Leaky Tap, “I’m so proud!” she wiped away a stray tear from the corner of her eye, resting her shoulder against Yasha who only nodded in agreement.

He took several steps out the door, fiddling with his earring and adjusting the bouquet in his hands. Caduceus noticed with a start that the delicate blossoms matched that impossibly sweet shade of pink she had mentioned. The ones that dusted her most favourite of baked creations and held pride of place at the centre of her display. He took one look back, noticing his friends all standing at the door, thumbs up and shooing him enthusiastically to go after her.

Well, there was no time like the present. He straightened his shoulders, and an unbidden grin forming upon his face, he headed in the direction of the bakery with a determined step.

“AND BRING ME BACK PASTRIES IF YOU TWO AREN’T LIKE YOU KNOW BANGING AND MAKING MINI FOLLOWERS FOR THE WILDMOTHER!”