#there's a PSA of sorts under the cut

[noctiva]

omg hai me again! (first time anon…well, second time now)

i would KILL for those relationship hcs with toby, i love him so much, i wanna give him a good life :( poor guys honestly through so much ughhhhh

okay bai bai!

(im definitely gonna be back, maybe 🌝 anon? watch out :3)

I got you!! let’s get it!

—

Toby Rogers - Relationship HCs [SFW + NSFW!]

CW: NSFW content! Descriptions of and mentions of sexual acts, mentions of pregnancy and breeding, mentions of violence + murder, toxic behaviour, possessive + jealous behaviour, mentions of fighting w/ a partner (verbally and physically)

[PSA! I’m dividing this into two separate sections because I have two separate headcanons for toby dearest, as you can read about here!]

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NSFW under the cut! Minors do not interact!

-

For me, how Toby would act in a relationship is dependent on if he’s retained his past memories or not! Let’s talk about both <3

Memories intact! [SFW]

A loverboy in the most fucked up sense of the word

Lives each day wondering how on earth he manage to land you, and is partially convinced you’re a figment of his imagination because of how goddamn perfect you are in his eyes.

Because of this, he is a bit… Clingy. When you first meet, all of the ‘what if’s’ are drowned out by how intense his emotions are - but once he gets situated, the shock melts away for thoughts much more destructive.

Toby puts you on a pedestal. Like some sort of goddess compared to him. So sweet, pure, and untainted by the horrors he’s been subjected to.

So, the awe of being with you very quickly becomes bordered with the overwhelming fear that you’ll one day grow bored of him.

Or worse, one day grow scared of him.

His jealousy is absolutely volatile when left unchecked. His thoughts spiral quickly, and he feels things very intensely.

Laughed at a joke another proxy made? Oh, must mean that you like them more than him. Share a cigarette with Tim because you ran out? Yeah, you guys definitely must be fucking behind his back.

Oh, and if they’re not a fellow proxy? Yeah, they’re good as dead if they so much as hold a door open for you.

It’s… an issue, to say the least. It gets to the point where you can’t even look at another man without Toby twisting himself into a knot.

Like a dog, growling at anyone who even comes close to its territory.

And don’t… Don’t try to reason with him. He won’t budge, no matter how many times you try to calm him down.

And if you’re really insistent about it, things can get messy fast.

Immediately, he’ll be convinced all of his worst nightmares are unfolding before his eyes. Because why would you be trying to get him to stop protecting you? It must be because you’re guilty, in one way or another.

I will not lie to you, he gets so nasty and mean when he’s like this. Name calling, being purposefully harsh just to spite you, before he inevitably disappears without warning for a few hours to try and cool off.

(He is a walking tornado when he’s like this btw. If something gets close to him, it’s getting butchered). So, it’s a good thing he knows to distance himself.

But, you suppose you can’t really blame him. Every thing else that he’s ever loved was ripped up from under his feet, right before his eyes.

Needless to say, he needs constant reassurance.

You could never say ‘I love you’ too many times to him. Every single time it feels like a blessing. Like it’s the first time all over again.

His love languages are words of affirmation, gift giving and physical touch.

Big emphasis on the latter. He needs to be touching you like all the time.

A hand tucked into your back pocket as you stand beside him, playing with your hair as you rest your head on his lap. Arms circled around your waist as you prepare dinner, shuffling around the kitchen behind you as he nibbles at your neck softly.

Did I mention he likes to bite? Because he does. A lot.

A lot of the time, it isn’t even of sexual nature, he’s just got an oral fixation. If you weren’t around, he’d be biting his nails to the bone, or chewing on the strings of his hoodie.

But he does have you! So you’re getting nibbled on instead <3

Lazily dragging his teeth against your shoulder blades as you lay in bed cuddling together. Nibbling on your thumbs and fingers absentmindedly as you watch a movie together. Sneaking up behind you just to catch the meat of your neck between his teeth, biting hard enough to leave indentations behind before he just goes about his day as if nothing happened.

It doesn’t help that you taste so good - but we’ll get into that later.

His other love language - gift giving - is just as prominent.

In my general headcanons for him, I mentioned that Toby likes to search the forest for pretty things when he’s out and about. If he’s in a relationship, yeah that increases tenfold.

He’s like a fucking crow. Constantly bringing home shiny rocks and cool bones he came across. Wildflowers too, which he’ll haphazardly tie into a makeshift bouquet before giving to you.

If any of his victims are wearing jewelry - yeah, that’s getting snatched. It’s not like they need it now, and it would definitely look better on his baby anyway.

(You’ve learned to stop asking where they’re coming from).

He pampers and dotes on you to an almost annoying degree btw. But as I mentioned before, he’s pretty much convinced you’re a deity, so that’s what you deserve.

He loves to take care of you. It makes him feel like he’s deserving of your presence. (Though, he really doesn’t need to prove himself to you, but it’s a whole mental thing you won’t be able to talk him out of).

He will literally learn skills just to make your life easier. Gets better at hunting so that you don’t have to worry about where to find food. Figures out how to skin and butcher animals so that you don’t have to deal with the gore. Will build furniture for you if you mention you want something once. (“It’d be nice to have a swing in the back for the summer.” Boom. You’ve got one the next day.)

He’ll wash your hair, sew up your clothes, wake up early just so that you have a cup of coffee before your eyes even flutter open.

Because, again, that’s what you deserve.

I will mention this again he is SOOOOOO clingy! He’ll come home from a mission and immediately be seeking you out, pulling you into an embrace before even washing the blood from his skin.

Very outdoorsy too, so expect lots of long nature walks and picnics.

Memories intact! [NSFW]

Remember how I said he thinks you taste good?

Good fucking luck because when you guys are getting down and dirty, it’s gonna feel like he’s trying to literally consume you.

He will sink his teeth into wherever he can find purchase. Your neck, shoulders, thighs, chest, ass - nothing is spared. You’re gonna look like you got attacked by a wolf when it’s all over.

And his possessiveness definitely plays a part.

He wants you covered in his marks. Wants people to know you’re his with just one glance at you.

He’ll bite hard enough to bruise, hard enough to bleed - and then he’ll suck at the wound to draw more out. Loving the taste of your blood on his tongue, but also needing the mark he leaves behind to be as dark as possible.

Honestly, I’m gonna be fr, he’d probably carve his initials into your thigh if you’d let him.

Gotta let everyone know who you belong to!

You, will never forget that fact. Because in bed, it seems like his main mission is to drill that idea into your brain.

He’ll usually start out gentle, but that never lasts long. He’ll have you sobbing by the time it’s all over. Fucking as many orgasms out of you as you can take.

And that man’s got stamina. So, good luck trying not to pass out.

He can’t feel the pain and soreness of his muscles, so it doesn’t matter to him. He’ll keep going until he’s shooting blanks LMAO

And he’s… well endowed. So you’re gonna be feeling it for a few days after.

I’m gonna give him a solid 6.5 inches. Not too girthy, but enough for you to really feel the stretch.

I don’t make the rules. He’s a dorky, scrawny white boy, alright? I have quite literally never been with one that wasn’t packing 🫡

Pleasure is like, the one intense sensation he can feel, so he’s pretty hypersexual tbh. It’s the only thing that breaks through the numbness he’s always drowning in.

I personally believe Toby’s not a snivelling virgin, but anyone else he’s been with before you simply do not exist to him the moment you first bare it all for him.

You practically rewrote his brain, and now he’s convinced that everyone else on earth pales in comparison. And he’s obsessive about it.

He’s almost always horny over you LMAOOO his libido is off the charts.

But it’s not his fault!! You’re just so pretty! You literally don’t even have to do anything. He’ll pop a boner just from watching you brush your hair.

(Before you guys officially started dating, he jacked off to the thought of you more times than he will ever admit. Jacked off to pictures of you even more often).

And, he’s not too well versed in self-control, so the moment he gets the urge - expect to be practically pounced on.

Does not matter where you are. Bedroom, kitchen, in the woods, in an alley, shoved into a gas station bathroom. He doesn’t care. Let someone walk in on you, let them alllll know who’s fucking you good.

He’s a bit of an exhibitionist if I will be honest, and it’s partially motivated by his need to let everyone know that you’re his. The type to try and convince you to cockwarm him while you’re sitting in the corner of a room full of people.

I have mentioned this many times on my blog, Toby is a grade A fucking munch. The man loves to eat pussy. I would argue it’s his favourite pastime.

He will spend literal hours down there if you let him. Moaning into you as he claws at your hips with blunt fingernails, nipping and biting at your thighs between licks.

He will cum untouched. He is crazy sensitive and just the taste of you will get him so hard it will definitely end with him dirtying his boxers.

But just as much as that, he loves it when you go down on him too.

He’s a bit of a sadist (which I will touch on in a moment), so he loves to watch you struggle and choke to take him all. Loves how you whimper around him and your eyebrows furrow. He loves the sight of your pretty tears like most.

So much, that he’ll lick them off your cheeks.

Also, German dirty talk! He almost always slips into his mother tongue when he’s deep in it.

“So eine gute kleine Schlampe.”

“Hübsches Lamm, ich weiß, du kannst mehr ertragen.”

Speaking of talk, dude is fucking NOISY. He’s always gotta be saying something.

Mindless babble about how good you feel between strained grunts and groans. Drool smearing against your neck as he moans about how much he loves you, how he’s so lucky to have you, how he can’t believe that you’re his.

“Du gehörst mir, Baby. Vergiss das nie.”

“Mein Mädchen. Mein Ein und Alles.”

The only way he’s quiet is if he’s got a face full of pussy tbh.

But don’t forget to praise him too! I already told you he needs affirmation on a daily basis this definitely carries into the bedroom.

Tell him how good he makes you feel, how full he gets you, and he will fucking fold.

(Don’t be afraid to call him a good boy either. He’ll get so flustered and blush so pretty).

Oh, and he’s got a breeding kink.

Not like.. Seriously, because he’s well aware that being a father isn’t in his cards.

But the idea of knocking you up makes him downright feral.

That’s like, the ultimate claim. It’s the dream, for someone as sickeningly possessive as him.

(And he’d bet you’d look even more beautiful pregnant).

So if you’re on the pill, expect endless creampies.

And if you’re not, expect him to act like a big baby about it.

It’s just not as satisfying to cum on you, it should be in you. That’s where it belongs.

Either way, he’s not wearing a condom. The type to call it ‘restrictive’ or ‘suffocating’. His pull out game is strong though, luckily.

(Though, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t often think about just cumming inside you and dealing with the consequences later. He’s selfish like that. But he’d never actually do it.)

It’s alright though. Just let him cum down your throat and that’ll placate him a little.

Okay, let’s get into the nitty gritty. He is a sadist 100% no and ifs or buts about it. He can’t feel pain himself, so he is so morbidly fascinated with how people react to it. Especially you. You just look so lovely when your face is scrunched up in agony, pretty tears flowing down your cheeks.

He’d never hurt you bad enough to be worrisome, but he will draw blood and leave bruises. He will test you, to see just how much you can take.

And I don’t know if I can call him a masochist, because again - he can’t feel it - BUT he LOVES IT when you get rough with him too.

Claw at his back until the skin tears. Tug at his hair hard enough to make his scalp throb. Bite him, and draw some blood in return. Really makes him feel wanted and desired.

He is the absolute king of aftercare though, despite his roughness.

Will run you a bath and carry you to it. Wash you clean of all the blood and grime smeared across your skin. You can even fall asleep if you want, he’ll tend to you with the utmost care before drying you off and carrying you back to bed.

And when you wake up, he’s right there next to you with a glass of water and painkillers in hand.

oh toby,,, my dear boyfailure,, at the end of the day his toxic traits all boil down to being scared to lose you.

but! if he lost his memories…

Memories wiped! [SFW]

Baby… good fucking luck.

You will literally be competing for attention with an eldritch entity so… I hope you’ve got strong willpower and determination.

Toby is Slender’s golden boy, and for good reason. He’s a 6’1, absolute tank of a man who can’t feel pain. His endurance is whacked, his dedication and devotion rivals that of the looniest heretic, and he’s damn good at his job. You could break his jaw and claw his eyes out and you will still lose.

(In this scenario, you would have to be a fellow proxy. If not, the only relationship you’re getting with Toby is being one of his victims. This man’s brain is so rotted you may as well be trying to seduce a fucking rock.)

So, with the first big change from before; you will have to be the one perusing him. The Toby from the first scenario would be pining over you pathetically. This one? He could not give a rats ass about starting any form of relationship. It’s just a distraction from his purpose.

And I’m so sorry, but you will be making a fool out of yourself for a least a couple months before he caves. He will not reciprocate your flirting at all before you wriggle under his skin, and if anything he’ll just view you as a fucking nuisance.

He has half the mind to not complain about you to Slender and get you tortured into submission.

But, he doesn’t. Maybe from lingering remnants of the compassion he had lost, or maybe because he knows you’re not technically doing anything wrong.

As long as you’re both getting your job’s done, you can make goo goo eyes at him all you want. Doesn’t matter to him.

Until it doessssss <3

It is a very slow process, and he is so not on board. If you thought he was snippy with you before, the moment feelings start to fester within him he is INSUFFERABLE. So mean for no fucking reason. Avoiding you at all costs if he can help it.

(such a tsundere <3)

No, it’s actually because he’s trying to get you to hate him so that he can finally get the distance he so clearly needs from you. He can’t afford to put his energy into romance. He’s more of a pawn than a man, it just feels… Wrong.

But, you know what they say! The heart wants what it wants! (Even if his brain is wholeheartedly trying to fight it).

He’d indulge himself in small doses. Snapping pictures of you when you aren’t looking, sneaking into your room to steal pieces of your clothing for the scent (we will touch on this more later).

And he hates it, because it is never enough to placate him. He’s always left yearning for more with fantasies of you flashing behind his eyes - and it is agonizing to deal with.

But at the same time, he doesn’t want it to stop, because it makes him feel… Almost nostalgic for a life he can’t even remember. A time when he could, and would form relationships with people. A time when there was more to life, than just - wake up, slaughter, sleep, repeat.

So, his willpower eventually wanes, and you notice it immediately.

He’s no longer mean for no reason. Only when you’re reckless and get yourself hurt, or if another proxy is picking on you. And he’ll constantly manage to wriggle his way onto whatever mission you’re going on.

He becomes a guard dog basically. And people will notice, because he is not subtle. He will flash his hatchets if someone looks at you wrong.

Again though, this will move SLOWWWW. The hating you phase will last months. The bodyguard phase will also last months. I hope you like slow burn because you guys will probably not kiss until over a year into knowing each other.

And when you do, it’s because he just can’t take it anymore. His imagination isn’t cutting it. It feels like you’ve infected him, and the longer he abstains, the worse his gut wrenching longing becomes.

So, on a mission together after finishing off your kill, he’ll pull you to the side and draw you in close.

He’ll search your face with manic eyes, so close you can feel his breath on your skin, thoughts pinging around in his brain at a mile a minute. And then, he’ll finally cave and press his lips to yours - right above the corpse you had just slain. How romantic <3

From there, I hope you don’t have second thoughts, because you’re in it for the long haul now. He will not be letting you go. He basically rewrote his entire mind for you, it would be cruel to back out now.

You thought the Toby I talked about before was obsessive? AHAHAHAHA

This man’s entire life revolves around two things; Slender and you, and he’s just as devoted to both.

He will not be leaving your side for even a second at a time if he can help it.

Except for when he wakes up from a random blackout and finds himself alone in the middle of nowhere. Which used to just be another day in the biz, but with you in the equation? He is panicking the moment he realizes you’re not next to him.

He is constantly worrying about, or thinking about you. And if he has to go on a mission away from you? He’ll act like the world is ending.

He won’t be leaving without a few articles of your clothing, and maybe (definitely) a few pictures.

He does get in trouble quite a few times, because he’ll start to get sloppy. Rushing through missions without a lack of care, just so that he can get home to you faster.

And you’ll take some of the fall too. Slender’s not stupid, and he’ll be well aware of why his once efficient killing machine has become lacklustre at best. Expect frequent bouts of Slender sickness throughout the duration of your relationship - just getting more and more intense with each iteration. As I said, I hope you’ve got a lot of willpower! Because you will be thrown through the wringer if you want to stay with him.

Toby will notice this though. It’s hard not to, either how you’re constantly nauseous, bleeding, and in a state of crippling paranoia, so he’ll force himself to be better - if only for your sake.

Surprisingly, this Toby is not as jealous or possessive. He doesn’t remember the pain of losing his loved ones, and with how much effort you put into courting him - he’s not scared that you’re going to leave him.

You would never, if you knew what’s good for you :)

As I said before - Jealous? no. Obsessive and protective? Uh huh.

He will kill anything that even thinks about hurting you. And if he can’t kill them (because of immortality or whatever), he’ll make them wish they were dead. It’s not torture if it’s justified, right?

Also, you’ll have to be patient with him. He’s not at all accustomed to this whole… Caring for other people thing. So he can’t really help how intensely he feels for you. Remember your first love? Yeah, it’s that. Plus a whole bucketload of hysteria.

He will take it as a personal attack if you want alone time. He wants to be with you all the time, so why wouldn’t you want that with him? You’re the one who sought him out.

He will be using that as a way to deflect any blame away from his toxic behaviour, btw. You lured him in. You wanted this. You’ll have to reap the consequences.

And despite how much he may want to be good for you, you really can’t ask much from a man who’s been trained to be as apathetic as humanly possible.

He’s got the attitude problems of a snot-nosed teenage boy. He will call you a bitch just for asking him to maybe change out of his bloody clothes before sitting on the couch. He will call you a nag, and stupid, and whatever nasty word comes to mind at the time. He’s horrible tbh. Gets real nasty if he’s in a mood.

And to be honest, he’s in a mood quite often, because he’s pretty prone to pushing himself until he’s near delirious from exhaustion.

And it sucks, but his conditioned mind just does not feel sympathy. You could be screaming your lungs out at him, practically pulling your hair out with tears streaming down your face, and all you’ll get in response is his default look of apathy.

Because to him, it’s not that deep. It’s not like he’s trying to fucking kill you. All he did was belittle and make a joke out of every single issue you’re having with him.

He’s actually the worst I’m sorry. But that’s what he’s supposed to be. He wasn’t programmed to partake in a cushy, loving relationship.

That doesn’t mean actually he hates you though, or means any of the fucked up shit he says, he’s entire view of love is just warped as hell. He’s pretty much convinced you being with him is just a given.

You guys will obviously fight a lot. Verbally and physically. It is a common sight for other proxies to see you and Toby brawling in the middle of the grass for the third time that week.

But when you guys are good, you’re really fucking good. You’re his glimpse into what life could be, and though he’s not the best at showing it, he really does love you for it.

So much that he’ll gift you a still beating heart on Valentine’s Day, along with a bouquet of wildflowers. Aw <3

Dates with him include: hunting together, axe throwing competitions(he always wins, obviously), long nature walks, going on missions together, scary movie nights where you both laugh at how unrealistic the gore is.

And because you are literally the first close relationship he’s ever had (or that he can remember) expect him to be making the most of it.

Touching and kissing you whenever he can. Even if there’s people around. He’s the king of PDA he does not give a fuck.

He likes it when you wear his clothes (especially his goggles… maybe a little too much) because it makes you look… His. And it’s weird, knowing that you are. That you’ve chosen to be around him, and he does revel in that fact every single day - even if he does kinda suck.

And over time, you will mellow him out, just like how you did in the beginning. He will never be a cushy soft, lovesick puppy, but he will eventually come to realize that maybe he shouldn’t be so much of an asshole to the woman who sticks by his side through it all.

And it’ll only go up from there!

Memories wiped! [SFW]

Okay, this Toby is a raging virgin. He was a heavily bullied outcast before becoming a mindless slave to Slender. He did not have time, nor care for any of that shit.

And it shows. At first, he’s so uncoordinated and messy. Too much tongue in his kisses, can’t find the clit to save his life - it’s… A mess. But what he lacks in experience he will make up for with enthusiasm.

He’s been fucking his own hand for way too long man, never once thinking about the fact that there could definitely be so much better out there.

So, he’s practically buzzing with excitement the first time you guys have sex. He’ll be twitching like a madman, tics going into overdrive as absolute elation and desire courses through his veins.

You will have to verbally tell him to slow down multiple times, because he’ll be like a freight train just trying to get to the good part. Practically tearing your clothes off, trying to just trying to shove his cock into you without an ounce of prep.

This man has been so isolated he didn’t even watch porn before meeting you, he has NO clue what to do with no reference point to go off of. All he’s got for sexual experience is the few Playboy mags he snagged from a house he broke into.

You’ll have to teach him <3

Be patient, and go easy on the teasing - his ego is very easily bruised.

And he will be busting quick. Absolute two pump chump. But he will get better with time, obviously. It’s just the first time he sinks into your heat it’s the most indescribable pleasure. Absolute heaven. Easily the best thing he’s felt in his entire life, so you can’t really blame him for the way he’s gasping and moaning against your neck after only a few strokes.

He’s got stamina though, so he won’t be quitting after that don’t you worry. He’ll go for as long as it takes to figure out how to make you cum too.

Lucky for you, he’s a quick learner if you guide him, and he’ll mentally bookmark everything that makes you moan louder or twitch beneath him.

Once the first time is out of the way, he’s just as horny (if not more) as his memory having counterpart.

Because you’re telling him that was what he was missing out on??? Why the fuck didn’t anyone tell him??

Gotta make up for lost time! First few weeks of you properly dating will be marathon sex for days on end. He just can’t get enough of you. Never wants to get enough of you. Wants to try anything and everything, learning as he goes what he likes the best.

And what he likes the best, is being a subby little baby.

I KID but for real though, the kicker here is that this Toby would be way more of a sub than the other one I talked about.

All he does, all the time, is put on a strong face and work himself to the bone. It feels nice, to just shut his brain off and let you take the ropes for the most part.

And taking orders from you, feels so much better. Because they’re not things he has to do, they’re things he wants to do.

He loves when you’re on top, holding his chest down with one hand as you set the pace.

Loves to eat you out, loves it even more when you sit on his face.

Remember how I said you guys will fight a lot? Now is the time to get your frustrations out on him.

You can be mean, and he’ll just take it. Cockwarm him and refuse to move, swat his hands away when he tries to grab at your hips and force you to. Edge him. Make him cum untouched as you ride his tongue. Grind against his cock until he’s pleading you to just please let him inside you.

Knock him down a peg, he sure as hell needs it.

Outside of the bedroom, he’ll never admit how much he likes it, but you know. That pretty blush of his doesn’t lie, and if he really wanted to overpower you he definitely could.

He’s messy. Drooling, leaking tears when it gets to be almost too much.

And he’s loud. Like, not a fucking care in the world if someone might hear you. You’d have to literally gag him if you want him to quiet down.

(Which, he would also probably like).

Loves it when you mark him up, but you’ve got to get some in return too - matching hickeys so that everyone knows you’re together.

Like in the first part, sometimes you’ll wonder if he’s trying to literally consume you with how often he’s sinking his teeth into you - but the difference is, this time, he’s actually thinking about it.

He’s got cannibalistic tendencies on a day to day basis, so when his brain is all fogged up but lust and desire they just become worse.

He will bite too hard. Locking his jaw onto the muscles of your shoulder as he thinks about tearing away and pulling your flesh from bone.

He won’t… But he will come close.

Also, before you guys got together, remember how I said he’d steal pieces of your clothing? Yeah, it’s mostly panties. Used ones, if he’s lucky (he’s so nasty).

He’d have his nose buried in one pair while using another one to stroke his cock.

This is something that he will still do even after you start dating, especially if either of you are away on a mission for an extended period of time.

Only now he’ll actually return them to you - a smirk on his face as he slips the freshly stained garments back into your underwear drawer, hoping that maybe one morning you’ll slip them on without noticing.

okay! that’s all I have to say (finally). so…. pick your poison!

-

holy fucking shit I meant for this to just be a nice, easy to put together hc list that I could post while working on a full length fic.

nope. this took me half a week because I just kept going and going

sigh.

[petalruesimblr]

Hello and welcome back to my blog!

My fifth and final gift for the Petalruesimblr Advent Calendar is: Dermatology Career! This is my third full-time career that I've created for The Sims 3 and I'm so happy it is finally complete.

I just want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and hope your holiday season is filled with joy and love! 💜

If you are interested, click on ’Keep Reading’ below for more information and pictures of the Dermatology Career.

Dermatology Career

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Ready to get under the skin of the most fascinating (and sometimes most frustrating) aspects of beauty? The world of dermatology is calling! Whether you’re performing cutting-edge laser treatments or giving pep talks to patients with the occasional outbreak, there’s never a dull moment in the world of skincare. And who knows? Maybe you’ll even land an internship under Dr. McSteamy himself - so apply now!

Career Type: Full Time Available for: Young Adults, Adults and Elders Available Languages: English Levels: 10 Rabbit Hole: DaySpa Does it have Carpool? Yes Does it have Uniforms? Yes (details under Final Notes) File Type: Package Min. Required Game Version: 1.42 Packs Needed: The Sims 3 📣All descriptions for the levels, tones and metrics as well as skills required, salary, uniforms and other details are provided on the pictures above. Right-click on a picture and select ’Open image in new tab’ for a clearer view.

NRAAS Careers Mod

Branches and Wages: I decided to focus on two branches for my Dermatology career, which branch out after level 5: Cosmetic Dermatology, focusing on non-surgical treatments and Cosmetic Dermatologic Surgery, which specializes in skin surgery. The two branches share the same skill and metric requirements, as they are both part of the medical field. The main difference lies in their salaries, with the Cosmetic Dermatologic Surgery branch offering a higher pay. I aimed to make the wages as realistic as possible however to compensate for the increased days off and decreased work hours as the level increases, I had to raise the hourly wages beyond the normal salary ranges for Levels 6-10 for both branches. Metrics and Books: This career is similar to the medical career in The Sims 3, particularly in terms of the logic skill and research as part of its metrics. However, I also included charisma, as I believe it’s a vital skill for patients to trust and feel comfortable with their doctors, especially when it comes to skin treatments. Opportunities and Uniforms: With a bit of experience in creating opportunities, I decided to add four this time, three of which are repeatable! All of them are relatively simple and offer bonuses, as well as salary increases for some as rewards upon completion. For uniforms, I’ve provided a picture above to highlight the differences between the levels by assigning different colors to the scrubs. There isn’t a general color assigned to dermatology uniforms, as hospitals usually decide the scrub colors for their various departments. As stated above, you will need NRAAS Careers Mod for these careers to show up in the game and as long as you have the latest version of it, it should work for higher patches. You can also read my #psa regarding these careers, click here. I’m not fluent in any other languages to translate so if anyone is interested in translating this career, please don’t hesitate to send me a message here, comment on this post or let me know in my Ask/Contact form (if you don’t have a Tumblr account) and will let you know the details. I have tested this career in my game, so far it is working and all scripts are showing up. All feedback is very welcome to help me learn and improve my skills so please let me know if you experience any problems on your end and I’ll do my best to sort it as soon as possible.

MissyHissy step-by-step tutorial Twallan for the Career Mod S3pe

[ineedjesusverymuch]

Diabolik lovers headcanons pt. 3 (even more stuff)

Hi, it's been a while, no? Even though I feel a bit like I'm screaming into an empty void, I do enjoy writing my thoughts down.

The Diabolik Lovers fandom gets smaller and smaller and since just a few blogs are active, I wanted to post more! I know that without Rejet producing more content (that is canon and not "just" new merchlines, even though I deeply love the art), the dl fandom is bound to shrink. But: now, there are a lot of very respectful blogs, which I do enjoy! The toxicity just shrinks a lot on smaller fandoms. And I really love that no slander of Yui is happening!

Now, lets get into the headcanons after my short ramble.

I won't write anything nsfw this time, just a quick psa.

⚠ I'll try to mark anything that could be triggering with this: ❗trigger warning ❗

⚠This post will briefly discuss topics like: parental trauma and childhood trauma.⚠

The topics in this post will be mostly happy or cute (?), asks are always appreciated!

As always, I'll try to be at least a bit true to canon. But... Well.

this time I did not just ramble about Kanato, I think I talked about Laito quite a bit though...

Headcanons under the cut ⬇

First of all: Shu.

Genuinely loves dogs (remember the scene with Yuma? The little puppy? Yes.)

All fluffy dogs are loved, just as all other dogs.

Loveslovesloves Golden retrievers and sheperd dogs. Likes big dogs a bit more than small dogs, more to hug.

Deeply hates toads. Not frogs, toads. He thinks they're quite ugly and hates how big they can get

Shu is Not dumb but being a little fuck by not-obeying-karlheinz's-orders-like-being-good-in-school

Has only socks with terrible obnoxious patterns, like the weirdest psychedelic shit? I'm talking about rainbow colored mushrooms on sunyellow backdrop and comical faces. (Ngl, it's a vibe)

Huuuuge crush on Yuma. He likes his long hair and the fact that Yuma doesn't try to lie to him. Shu likes honest people and Yuma with his blunt approach is amazing for him. Also, he is convinced that Yuma is very simple to understand, nit at all complicated like some other people.

Next in Line is Reiji! What a surprise.

Has a huge collection of Hand cream and lotion. He has those long, slim fingers and his nails are manicured so impeccable that they don't even look real anymore.

Wears only black socks. Its a hassle to sort them since some of them have different lengths or fabrics

Has pet rats. Definitely pet rats.

They're cute and all but he's named ever single one outrageous names like Berthold and Brunhilde, the typical old german names you'd read in very old books.

Reiji Is able to speak not only german, japanese and the demon language but can also speak latin (even though shu is on a much higher level), a bit of French and russian.

Would be the type to do things simply out of sprite. Shu once mentioned not liking blue curtains and now all curtains are blue.

Has an academic rivalry with Ruki. All the other students (including Ruki) think they're flirting, only Reiji is oblivious.

Next: our boy Ayato!

Hates bees with a passion.

Kanato once "gifted" him a box of bees out of spite (the little shit put the whole bee hive in that box), ever since then Ayato runs as soon as humming from a bee can be heard in a ten mile ratio. (Being outside is very exhausting for everyone, himself included)

Very much enjoys shows like Brigderton and say yes to the dress. Loves the drama and the intrigue.

Ayato actually? Doesn't hate his brothers??? He likes to bicker with them, especially his other triplets, but genuinely cares about them. He's just a bit too emotionally stunted on that front (thank you cordelia).

Likes not only takoyaki but also any type of japanese festival food. I'm talking about mochi, dango and tayaki, etc.

the type to have lactose intolerance and ignore it completely to seem "cool"

went on an ice cream date with Yui once and spent the entire night in the bathroom because he was too proud to say no

Actually wears makeup? I'm not talking about full-on glam but a bit concealer and eyeliner. Ayato has red mascara and omfg he looks so good with it???

Laito and he enjoy playing those multiplayer games for nintendo

He has an entire village on animal crossing that is managed by him and Laito together

Next in line: Kanato!

I have made quite long posts about him in the past so I wont elaborate on some things that I already wrote down.

Very skilled at makeup. Like top-level skill. Wears eyeliner, liptint or gloss and glitter under and on his eyes. Light blush is a must-have!

Can crochet and knit but is often too impatient to make bigger projects

Will hyperfocus on things like historical fashion and garments for weeks at a time.

Once was so focused on the black plague that he didn't drink blood for like five weeks and passed out until he was fed some blood

Gremlin.

Has a friendship with Yuma? They plant plants together and since Kanato (canonically) likes apples, Yuma will bring him some after plucking.

Kanato enjoys tea time with Reiji

Kanato also likes to gossip with Laito. Or more like: Laito gossips and Kanato sits next to him and munches on some sweets.

Huge crush on Azusa. (I went into more detail on that in earlier posts but I'll answer any questions on that matter! Feel free to send me asks or prompts!)

He and Ayato have both the same interest for old fairy tales and will read them together on those nights were everything just comes up again

❗Laito will comfort him when Kanato has nightmares and Kanato will be there for Laito, since they went through a bit if the same things even though Laito's was much more intense

Cuddle time with Shu

Quiet time with Subaru

Now Laito!

Can speak a fuckton of languages.

I don't care if its canon but Laito is like B2 Level of French. Is able to discuss theological matters is perfect french.

Can also speak italian like all the triplets but he's also able to speak a bit german, polish and romanian

Friends with Kou! ❗They're really good ffriends and can understand what the other went though. Laito stays often over night at Kou's and they spend the night watching funny movies (Deadpool is Laitos current favourite)

Laito enjoys comics. He likes Marvel and DC a lot!

We know that Laito likes crossword puzzles but like. He's so good at them it's almost frightening. Is able to not only do japanese ones but also french.

So intelligent???

Not only booksmart but also "people smart". He notices the smallest things on people around him, constantly analizes everyone. Knows a lot about medicine and psychology.

Loves learning new things.

Has immense knowledge about the universe, is able to name every single star sign on the sky.

in the games we often see Laito wear casual clothing. My headcanon is that he likes the sort of style skaters usually wear.

Really likes cargo pants since everything fits in all of the pockets

Wears oversized hoodies and shirts

Has those two piercings on his left earlobe but also has a lip piercing on the right lower lip and a septum that he got when he was bored

As soon as he's alone, he let's the perverted fassade fall down. He doesn't smile a lot actually, more along the lines of a serious face most of the time.

It took a bit for him to be able to drop that fake face of his in front of Kou and his other triplets but after some time he got used to not fake being friendly and perverted.

Dropped the infamous "bitch-chan" after some time, now uses Yui's actual name. The -chan stayed though.

Last but not least: Subaru!

has very soft plushies in his coffin

Loves those tiny fluffy bunnies. Lionheads especially!

Very gentle with animals.

Animals love him (#disneyprincesssubaru)

once tried to color his hair, it went horrible and his hair was a patchy muddy color for eight weeks

Wears eyeliner. The black, brush-tip ones

Long eyelashes. They genuinely look fake.

So pretty

Is naturally more fair and frail-looking than some other vampires so he tries to roughen himself up

❗Bruises his knuckles and bites his lips to look more dangerous. Even though the scowl he usually wears is more than enough to ward off anyone who wants to pick a fight...

Also friends with Kou (Kou really collects Sakamakis like pokemons)

Wears black nail polish but it chips off pretty fast due to the gardening Subaru does

Bonding time with Kanato is applying nail polish together

Enjoys playing pool and darts with Shu when his older brother has enough motivation

Knows he is fucked up from all the stuff with his mother and wouldn't be opposed to therapy (at least after some sweet talk from Yui... And a whole lot of promises for new seeds for his garden and a new set of black clothes)

Has a motor bike and it's his entire pride

Polishes it every week and has a lot of clothes for biking

Takes trips to somewhere when he's bored and/or annoyed by his other brothers

does not realize that Kou flirts with him every time they do something together (obliviousness lies in the family)

So! That's it? I guess? Sometime in the future I'll write about the Mukamis too, I promise!

If there's anything you'd like me to write about, just send me an ask.

And to whoever reads this: I appreciate the time you took to read my post and I hope you have an amazing day/night !

you are truly appreciated!

[s-exy]

Not so lost anymore part one

Aftg AU about Neil finding out he has a half brother

Takes place the summer after the events of book 3

TSC isn't Canon in this because that's Jean's story ♡

*psa i am not a professional writer and this is for funsies so ignore any and all grammatical errors ♡

Under the keep reading so u don't have to scroll all the way down in ur feed

Neil Josten woke up for the first time of now many first times, relaxed. He climbed out of his bed and made his way to the kitchen to make some coffee to get rid of his grogginess. It had been months since he had faced his father, beaten Riko on the court, and Andrew and him making their relationship officially a 'this'.

Summer was here, and though they didn't have games, they still practiced almost every day. Andrew wasn't far behind Neil in the process of waking up and joined Neil in the Kitchen. Being at the cousins house for summer wasn't as bad as Neil thought it would be. Neil, the cousins, and Kevin staying under one roof with one another for months didn't sound appealing at first, but Neil's only other option was Abbys. Spending more time with Andrew though, he wasn't going to complain about.

After their coffee and a few kisses, Neil and Andrew headed to the living room, soon to be joined by Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin. Sorting out the days plans was mostly simple, and Neil reveled in it. His first summer with the foxes he had spent on Wymacks couch worrying over every little noise he heard while the Cousins and Kevin spent most of their time at Abbys. Now they were deciding who was in charge of getting breakfast and who was going to do the dishes from dinner the previous night. Everything Neil had been desperately craving since he was a child was now right in front of him, domesticity.

That calmness, of course, could only last for so long. A knock sounded at the door only an hour later. Nicky went to answer it and was immediately back into living with the visitors on his heels. Neil straighted at the sight of Agent Browning and his colleague. He never thought he would see these men again, at least not for a while. Them showing up unannounced had his panic flaring. Andrew must have felt him tense up because he pressed his fist into the small of Neil's back, Neil counted to ten and focued on the agents in front of him. "Neil," said Browning with a not so un noticeable edge in his tone. "We have something to discuss with you.

"Anything you have to say, can be said here," Neil challenged.

"It's not about your father's circle, but it about your family," Browning relayed while sitting down in front of them.

"The foxes are my family." Browning didn't roll his eyes at Neil's remark, but it was a near thing.

"You know who I'm talking about," a pause, and then, "Or maybe you don't." Neil didn't understand so he tilted his head in question.

"Enough with the cryptic messages. Why are you here," He said.

"Your attitude is as pleasant as usual. We're here to ask you if you know a Dakota Hollands?" Browning gruffed out. The name didn't sound familiar, but Nicky chimed in with a "who is he?" Before Neil could ask.

Browning furrowed his brow and eyed his colleague, who nodded and said, "Nathaniel Wesninskis son." Neil back tracked in his brain to remember when he had used that name, but nothing rang a bell. "I've never gone by that name," Neil defended, "and i haven't used any aliases since I became Neil, so" the agent cut him off with a quick "no." Neil and the others glanced between themselves, and Neil's panic was building its way back up again.

"Dakota Hollands lives in South Carolina with his mother, Destiny Hollands," Browning explained like Neil should be clued in. Neil just stared at him until he continued. "While updating your information and entering you into our system, a name popped up. Which we thought was odd considering it hadn't before."

"Dakota?" Aaron asked from across the room. Browning nodded his head and said, "His DNA was a match to yours and your fathers." Neil heard what Browning had said, but it didn't make any sense. He heard commotion in the room, but that didn't make any sense either. He asked quietly, so quietly, he thought, that Browning shouldn't have heard him, "What do you mean?"

"He's your brother Neil, Nathaniel Wesninskis long lost son."

[changisworld]

Kisses & Ribbons

What better day to write my first Hyunjin one-shot than on Valentines day <3

MDNI, OBVIOUS 18+, Smut warnings under the cut.

Word count; 2,301

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

PSA FOR ASKS/REQUESTS: i WILL get around to posting everyone’s requests i’m just sorry if it takes a bit of time but whatever you request i’ll post it!! IM ALSO MAKING AN ANON LIST!! just send me anything & tell me what emoji u wanna be!<3

Any reblogs/ Comments are deeply appreciated<3 This is just complete smut with literally no plot.

main masterlist here

SMUT WARNINGS: Marking{f receive} Shibari, PIV, Use of vibrator, lots of praise, a few spanks, spit, creampie, lovemaking, quite fluffy, aftercare, oral {f receive}, experimenting, mention of safe word but not used, flavoured lube, subspace, multiple orgasms,

++ Hyunjin & Reader are married, non idol au, Hyunjin is still a hopeless romantic because DUHH.

You & Hyunjin are just back from a live Jazz music restaurant where you had both decided to spend valentines day, eating delicious food & slow dancing to the music surrounding you but cancelling out as you enjoy the closeness of your husband.

You both practically tumble through the door already kissing eachothers lips, his feeling like mini pillows against your own. You take off his long cream coloured coat & he takes off your matching one.

You both somehow make it to the bedroom before he softly places you on the bed, him following after you & his stomach on your chest, keeping his weight on his elbows & hands before breaking the kiss. "You still up for trying what we discussed, beautiful?" he asks, stroking your hair softly as his eyes glisten. You smile at him & lean up to kiss his nose & you let out an affirmative hum. "of course, i've been thinking about it ever since you mentioned it hunny" you say in a quiet voice, cheeks blushing. Hyunjin hums back at you & he disconnects himself from you, now standing up as he walks over to your shared wardrobe as he fishes out a red velvet box.

He walks over & places it on the bed, not opening it but instead looks back at you. "why not you get undressed for me baby, hmm?" He asks, his ears red & yours equally so. You undo your beige blouse & hyunjin settles himself behind you, helping you wiggle out of your black skirt & tights, kissing your shoulder & back of your neck as he does so.

Hyunjin takes his clothes off too after setting you back down on the bed, leaving him completely bare & you in your red lace thong & matching panties. Hyunjin crawls over you & begins kissing you, his knee in-between your core, your hands reach up to cup his cheeks as you subconsciously begin slowly grinding against his thigh, seeking friction. "You that desperate already baby?" he asks you, hand reaching to your core & cups it. "We can start now then pretty, as stunning as you look in this set, do you mind taking it off for me hm?" he asks you as he lifts himself off of you to reach for the red box still sitting unopened on the bed.

You wriggle your thong off your skin & unclasp your lace bra, your nipples getting hard instantly at the slight temperature change since the material has now came off. Hyunjin opens the box & pulls out a set of red rope with some pieces of ribbon still laying in the box. Your breath hitches slightly as your stomach gets butterflies looking at hyunjin, your husband, holding the rope in his hands. "Can touch it? I wanna feel it." You ask, holding your hand out, he hums & holds the rope out so you can take it as he sits down next to you.

"Are you definitely are you wanna do this sweetie? We don't need to if you're having any sort of second thoughts." Hyunjin says softly, taking the rope back off you as he leans in to your neck & gives your earlobe a couple of kisses. "Of course i want to, you know i'll tell you if i change my mind babe" you reply, eyes closing to fully take in how nice his kisses feel. Hyunjiin hums again & pulls away from your neck, your back shivering at the loss of contact.

"Okay, do you remember the safe word y/n? You can use it any time.. of course." His voice soft in tone, now straightening out the rope in his hands. "red. I won't forget." You blush as you watch hyunjins veiny hands feeling the rope. He smiles back.

"Okay baby, lie down for me for me please." You don't even think twice before crawling up so your head is on the pillows, hyunjin following behind.

Hyunjin begins tying the red rope around each of your limbs & torso, creating chriss-crosses in-between your tits, slightly pinching them before slightly manhandling you, flipping you on your back to finish the ties, kissing each inch of skin he covers. By the end, your hands are tied to your stomach, immobile, your legs connected to your hands so you're in a mating press & you have rope on the very insides of your thighs, causing a slight pinch & burn on your outer flaps. He grabs the ribbons that were still inside the box & ties them to your knees, one above your pussy & the other one on the bits of rope that cross over in-between your breasts.

Hyunjin finishes tying you up before standing up to admire hiss work & also to admire you. "Does anything pinch or hurt more than it should?" He questions, finger stroking your leg. "No, i'm fine to continue hunny." you reply, showing him a smile.

Hyunjin walks over to the bedside table beside you & pulls out some strawberry flavoured lube & a small bullet vibrator. He kisses you from the side which you gladly reciprocate, feeling extra needy. He walks around & crawls up the bed so his face is now at your now dripping cunt. "Look how wet you are jagi, my mouth is watering even looking at it.already swollen, your clit is peeking through already." He shoots you a smile & you blush instantly, getting a bit shy.

He flicks open the small bottle of flavoured lube & lets a few droplets drip onto your cunt which makes you flinch but the rope makes it impossible to move away. He opens his tongue & puts a bit of the lube on it before he moves down & takes a long, slow lick the entire way up your core, making you gasp as he lets out a groan. He pulls back to spit onto your core. "I don't know why i ate dessert earlier when i knew this can't be compared to anything on any menu in the world. Pussy is so plump & swollen because of the rope isn't it? You enjoy it this much hmm?"" He hums out, looking at you with his cat eyes. "Feels so good jinnie, don't stop, please." You tilt your head sideways to avoid the eye contact, getting shy of the position & helpless position you're currently in but he is quick to tug at one of the ropes up at your tits, making you jolt & you look back in his direction, eyes slightly watery from the burn. "Don't get all shy on me now, we're just getting started." He doesn't give you a chance to reply before he basically dives back into your folds.

He begins slurping, nibbling, kissing & straight up moans into your core which obviously sends vibrations to your clit, making you whine out even louder than hyunjins noises. He adds a finger into your wet walls & that tip you over the edge instantly, your legs try their best to shake despite the rope keeping you set in place as you come undone all down his fingers & tongue. You open your eyes as you come down from your high & realise hyunjin has been giving you kisses & sucking dark marks onto them while he waits. "Ji-jinnie need you, p-please" you pant out, still trying to catch your breath & tugging against the ropes holding your arms. "Soon, y/n, be patient. I'm not quite full yet mkay? let me show you how much i love you." you can't help but get butterflies in your stomach, despite being together for so long now.

You open your mouth to reply but the words get caught in your throat as he dives straight back into your cunt, letting his nose nudge against your clit repeatedly as his tongue now makes its way inside you, making you practically squeal. You try your best to jolt your hips away but also closer to his face at the same time, you don't even acknowledge the now buzzing vibrator now making noise until it presses against your completely ruined clit which makes you quite literally scream. "J-jin-baby too-too much!" you say, tugging against your ropes, to no use.

Hyunjin doesn't reply verbally as he now releases his tongue from your hole, your juices dripping off his tongue onto the bedsheets, joining the huge wet patch already formed on the bedsheets with the lube, spit & your juices. He drags the vibrator down from your clit & inserts it inside you as he now suctions his lips back onto your clit & begins wiggling his tongue & spitting his saliva all over your clit as he swears he can feel your clits heartbeat, at the same time he begins grinding his naked cock against the bed, getting some friction & stopping his movements every time he feels himself getting close. You are thrashing around, eyes watering & drool leaving your mouth, leaving you in a complete babbling mess.

Your next orgasm hits you before you can even warn him.. your orgasm making itself known by spraying all over the bedsheets, hyunjins face & in his mouth. He unlatches himself as you're legs are shaking uncontrollably & he smacks your thighs & red raw pussy, making you scream even more.

Hyunjin takes his breath back as he rests on his knees, looking at the state you're currently in, sweaty, drool everywhere, tears staining your cheeks, skin all red from where the rope has been rubbing against it, leaving marks he will be appreciating even after tonight & your cunt, red, pulsating & 1.5x the size it usually is.

He crawls up the bed so he is beside you,face still covered & glistening in your juices & rests his head on his hand as he grips your jaw to make you look at him. "You already floating hm? That's way faster than usual.. new record, you still wanna continue?" He asks, fingers still holding onto your jaw as he slithers his thumb into your mouth & you let him, tongue circling it slowly as you nod at his words, giving him the go-ahead.

Hyunjin gets off the bed before walking around to your side of the bed & he pulls you so your ass is against the edge of the bed & your head is in the middle. He drags his cock up & down your folds because he can't help but be addicted to the way you slightly gasp at his touch but too far in your own world to even properly react or flinch.

He spits onto his cock to lube it up that extra bit & then pulls out the vibrator, completely soaking wet as he turns it off & lays it on the bed. He pumps his cock once then lines it up to your folds before slowly pushing in.

He lets out a loud groan as his eyes snap shut & his head rises up to face the ceiling, trying his best to not blow instantly. He looks down at you to already see you looking at him, mouth slightly open as your eyebrows are slightly frowned, making faint noises. He thrusts into you slowly, both of you making noises, his much louder than yours, He wants.. needs to be closer to you so he unties your legs from where they're connected & he spreads them enough so he can lie forward, chests connecting as he begins kissing down your neck, whispering things in your ear. "so good for me hunny, trusting me like this.. you are the most beautiful person.. thing, in this entire existence, you.. feel s-so amazing my love, g'na cum in your..my pussy mkay?ffuck." He raises himself off your chest & stands back up, moving his now damp, sweat drenched hair out of his also sweat covered face.

He reaches down to tug on the rope against your tits again, dragging red marks into your flesh which makes him whine even more just simply at the sight. Your eyes are completely glossy as your tongue is rolling out of your mouth & your babbling incoherent words. Hyunjin reaches down to play with your clit again & you let out a choked louder whine at the feeling, twitching as you clamp around hyunjins dick as you come again, even stronger than the previous ones if that's even possible which makes Hyunjins hips stutter.

"cummin' around me b-baby? g-g-d you're a w-w-work of art, my own muse, gna cum, t-t-you feel too good." He grunts as he leans into you again, stroking your cheek & your hair s he cums inside you, biting down on his pink plump lips as his own orgasm shoots through his veins.

You both stay in this position for a few minutes, heavy breathing & little whimpers filling the room. Hyunjin uses the rest of his strength to pick himself up again & he begins untying you from the rope, kissing all of the red marks & soothing them with his fingers. He leans up & kisses your lips & tip of your nose before he grabs a damp towel he set on the dresser before the scene started & slowly wipes your cunt, cleaning it up & trying to help calm down some of the swelling.

He positions you back up so your head is on the pillows & comes up & lies next to you as he gets the bottle of water he had left in the bedroom & opens it & holds it to your lips. "cmon baba, you gotta drink this, hm? this took a lot out of you" he whispers in your ear, you don't reply but you part your lips for him to feed you some water which you swallow. He places the water bottle back on the bedside table & he cuddles into you, surrounding you in his warmth as he kisses all possible areas he can reach of you. "Happpy valentines day, my love" he says, kissing your earlobe, admiring you as your eyes shut, breathing now calming down as you nuzzle yourself in his chest, skin on skin as you're both still lying naked, no noise in the room except the clock ticking & your breathing.

[azula-brain]

PSA: Just a heads up that @longing-for-rain has been passing off AI art as art that they have made themselves. Which is a slight problem when you have a tip jar and no disclaimer.

This is just a general FYI do not harass them please.

Under the cut is just proof.

The first thing that ticked me off was the wildly differing art styles all posted under one artist, here's some examples:

The last one's hand is also a dead give away

The most obvious sign however is that this artist has had an impressive development of their skill over a short period of time.

Here is an example of what they were posting before

The second one was posted in May 2023

And then in just under four months they were posting art like this

Some of this stuff has gotten really popular. To be fair numbers like this are not a regular occurrence, but averaging over 100 notes is still a fair bit of people thinking they're seeing someones hard work.

This would be a different story if they put any sort of disclaimer anywhere on their blog . I only felt the need to make this PSA because they allow tips and I think you should be transparent with people when money gets involved.

Now because I know what site we're all on: please please please please don't be an asshole and harass this person. If you are upset, just refrain from engaging with their posts.

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Don’t Chase the Dead

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Commonwealth Era post 11x24

Warnings: Typical TWD violence, descriptions of injuries

Summary: You and Daryl find yourselves in a battle for survival after the archer leads you into danger in a attempt to absolve him of his guilt.

Prompt: "Being in love is not a weakness, you know"

A/N: You can find the request from @alldevilsarehere90 here. Finally finished this beast! It really got away from me and I ended up moving all sorts of things around before I was even remotely happy with it. I’m sorry it took so long!

PSA: I think I should let it be known that (if you haven’t noticed) I really like to beat up on our boy. There’s just something about an injured Daryl that I love. Probably won’t veer from that anytime soon.

*gif is not mine

They were all dead. Every last one of the men that had murdered a young boy from the Commonwealth. Only you and Daryl were left standing. 

Metaphorically speaking. 

You stared at an arrow from the enemy’s quiver, inspecting it before letting it fall to the ground. 

“Ya know—whatcha gotta—do, Y/N.” 

You were already shaking your head before the first word had left Daryl’s bloody lips. The arrowhead in his left thigh was barbed. If you tried to pull it out, it would mercilessly tear through muscle and flesh, doing much more damage and leaving a wound that would bleed freely while requiring more than stitches. The one pull Daryl had given it was enough to put him on his ass. He was right, and that made you feel nauseous. 

“I don’t know if I can.” Your bottom lip quivered. Tears fell unchecked. Your own upper arm ached but the bullet had only managed a decent graze. “What if it hit an artery? What if I make it hit an artery?”

Daryl’s eyes scanned the area around you, always on guard. The man who had shot him had been dealt with quickly, the last of the enemies to have fallen by a bullet you fired. The shots would attract walkers. 

“Do you think you can walk if you lean on me?” You asked. Your voice raised slightly with a hint of hope. “We can get you back to the Commonwealth, to the hospital.”

“Y/N.” The archer was calm, tired. He laid his head back against the wall, looking down his nose at you. “Y’know I—l can’t.”

You cursed under your breath, staring at the protruding wooden shaft. Once again, he was right. Even if you bound the wound to the best of your ability, the likelihood of it shifting and tearing inside was tremendous. “Okay. We have to be fast. We can’t stay here much longer.” You undid your belt and looked around you for a safe place for when things inevitably went south. Pessimism or just simply acknowledging Dixon luck, it didn’t matter. There was a maintenance shed, door open. The probability of walkers inside was slim but not none. It’d do in a pinch though. 

Your flannel shirt would be used as a bandage after, so you peeled it off and tore off the sleeves, biting and pulling at the rest of it to form it into strips. “Can you turn onto your right side just a little?” You asked while wrapping a piece of the fabric around your arm. You used your teeth to aid in tying it off. 

Daryl nodded tiredly and angled himself onto his right hip. He could probably do this himself, honestly, but you were there and had a better view of the injury. Your biggest worry was the wood splintering or snapping, leaving the arrowhead inside. 

Using your knife, you cut the fabric around the point of entry as carefully as possible. It’s still oozing blood but nothing like it will be once the weapon is removed. Chewing on your lip, you go back to cutting, this time at the back of his thigh. Worry is gnawing at you relentlessly, your insides twisting. 

“I could break the shaft, make it easier for you to move. I think we could make it—”

“Gotta break—gotta break it anyway.” To emphasize his point, he leaned forward and wrapped a trembling hand around where the weapon entered his flesh. With what looked like the tiniest bit of effort and a pained grunt, he snapped the arrow and tossed the end somewhere in the darkness. His back thudded against the wall. “Just do it—or I’ll do it an’ ya can—head on back. I‘ll catch up.”

“I’m not leaving you! No way!” You snap. Daryl wasn’t thinking clearly. That much was obvious. Either from blood loss, exhaustion, or the guilt eating him up at the loss of that boy. Maybe all of the above. He hadn’t slept since he’d had to put down the reanimated corpse. He was supposed to be with the kid. He had promised to show him how to track and hunt. The archer had been called away to help elsewhere and the kid had angrily left the safety of the community. No one blamed Daryl except Daryl. 

Still, no one could ever make Daryl feel worse than he could himself, and you could do nothing without his compliance. 

“Fine.” You leaned toward him and held out your belt. “Bite down on this.” When he raised an eyebrow behind his curtain of hair, you sighed. “It’s gonna hurt, Daryl. There are probably already walkers and god knows what else headed for us. I’d rather not let them know exactly where we are.” His lip curled in distaste but opened his mouth and let you place the strap between his teeth. That man could be so stupidly stubborn sometimes. 

Your hand hovered over the arrow’s broken shaft. You knew there was no time to waste. You started counting down from three, more for yourself than him, and wrapped your hand around the arrow. Judging by how he remained silent, he knew that. When you hit one, you tightened your grip and pushed. Daryl went rigid, agonized sounds rushing out around the belt held so tightly between his teeth. 

You honestly hadn’t expected so much resistance, quick to conclude you must have been grazing the bone. “I know, I know,” you tried to soothe as you adjusted the angle. Daryl arched off the wall with a muffled shout. The arrow began to move again, soon breaking through the skin on the other side. You released a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding as the archer went boneless, the belt falling from his mouth so he could breathe through the pain with heavy pants. “The worst is over.” Flesh dangled from the barbs but it exited rather cleanly, and you were able to grab beneath the tip and pull it free. “Done. It’s out.” 

You’d have to stop and stitch him up once you were both a safe distance away. A piece of flannel was folded into a square and pressed over the back of his leg, quickly soaking through. With a muttered “shit,” you replaced it with another and one more on top of that one before managing to tie what used to be a sleeve around it. Just as you pulled it tight, you heard a branch snap and an all too familiar (yet no less terrifying) snarl. You had to bandage the top wound quickly and get the both of you out. “Hold this here.” You instructed when you pressed a square to the top of his thigh. Daryl didn’t move. “Daryl?” Maintaining pressure, you leaned forward to see his face. He had passed out. “Fuck!” 

Another growl. More shuffling steps. 

You hurried through wrapping the second one and shouldered your pack, leaning forward to urgently tap the archer’s cheek. “Daryl, wake up. Daryl!” He stirred but didn’t open his eyes. “We have to go. Now!” You stood when he still didn’t respond, wiping your bloody hands on your jeans. Looked like you’d be needing that maintenance shed after all. 

You could see them now, the group of undead bodies making their way toward you, their silhouettes barely visible in the moonlight. You gave a frustrated huff and moved up toward the wall, struggling to heave your archer into a sitting position so you could hook your hands under his arms. Daryl was a stout man, all lean muscle under his layers. Dragging him would not be an easy feat. 

“Anytime you wanna wake up and help, that’d be great!” You pulled and pulled, finally managing a few feet before the first walker was just too close. You had no options other than your gun. The shot was fired and the gun holstered just as quickly then you were back to dragging your partner. “If we make it through this, I’m going to kill you!” As if hearing your threat, Daryl groaned. You didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. Too many undead were lumbering toward you. “Are you with me?”

“Y/N?” The archer questioned groggily. 

“None other!” You grunted. His good leg kicked out to dislodge a walker from his boot, nearly throwing you off balance. “Welcome back to the land of the…somewhat living.” Some of his weight shifted away as he got his good leg up under him, using your hold under his arms to lever himself upright. “We’ve got to get to the shed. You’re still bleeding and—” 

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. You were pulled back and Daryl went down, unable to take his own weight so suddenly on the injured limb. Two walkers had grabbed hold of your pack, the only thing standing between you and grizzly death. And now there was nothing standing between Daryl and the same fate. You watched helplessly as you struggled against the rotted hands trying to get to your flesh. He had pulled his knife, making it upright to stab one skull before he’d tumble down, catch his breath, and do it again. 

“Y/N!”

With fierce determination, you pulled your own blade from the sheath on your thigh and slid your arms from the straps holding the bag to your back. One walker stumbled with the pack while the other grabbed your arm. You only let it get close enough to drive the knife into its temple. “Daryl!” Three walkers were closing in on him fast. 

“Y/N, get outta here!”

He couldn’t have possibly thought that was going to work. The corpse on your pack grabbed for your ankle but you kicked free and sprinted to Daryl, rounding in front of him to push one threat back and quickly stab it. You turned just in time for a walker’s teeth to close roughly with an audible click about two inches from your face. The shock lasted a mere heartbeat. You stabbed it in the eye and Daryl released his hold on the back of its tattered shirt. The archer tumbled forward gracelessly and you managed to catch him under one arm to keep him standing.

“I told ya to run!” He snapped. 

“The shed! Let’s move!” You ignored him and pulled him along with you. He was barely keeping up, stumbling to keep as much weight off the injured leg as he could manage. 

Walkers were coming from every side. You weren’t sure you’d make it before they reached you. “Shit! Shit! Shit!” Two were almost in front of the door. If they cut you off now, even a flawless dispatching would cost your window of opportunity to secure relative safety. 

The arm around Daryl’s waist tightened and you pulled him harder, nearly causing him to lose what little balance he was trying so hard to maintain. 

“Y/N.” He growled in a low, warning tone. 

You discarded the knife and pulled your gun to put a bullet in the forehead of the walker closest to the door. It was a close call but you managed to get you both to the entrance. There was no time for tenderness. You used your momentum to twist your body and practically throw the bowman into the darkness, hearing him crash into something inside that obviously tumbled down when he made contact. You continued the motion, spinning to back into the shed while pulling the door closed. You screamed in frustration when a rotted arm came through the last remaining space and prevented the latch from securing. 

You couldn’t take either hand away from the door, your weight being the only thing keeping the creature out. Within moments, more would join it and you would be overpowered. You released an angry howl and grabbed the handle, opening the door outward only to slam it closed on the decomposing limb. Once, twice. It took stepping forward into danger and throwing yourself nearly off your feet to snap off the arm and allow the door to close. 

There was no lock. You couldn’t see your hand right in front of your face. You couldn’t barricade the door when you couldn’t make out what objects were around you. It would have to wait. Regardless, you flinched when the sound of bodies hitting the outside of the shed rang through the small space. Switching gears in an instant, you replaced one fear with another. Daryl hadn’t made a sound since you had sent him sailing gracelessly into the unknown. 

“Daryl?” You kept your voice at a whisper. Agitating the walkers that had already pegged you as their next meal wouldn’t be smart. You walked with small steps, unable to see where you were going. You didn’t want to fall over something, especially if that something was your partner. There was no sound aside from your quiet footfalls. Frankly, it was unnerving. 

You had felt fear morphing into panic just as a hand wrapped around your ankle. Your first instinct was to kick out but you managed to hear the click of a zippo lighter opening followed by the familiar flicking that would ignite the flame. Daryl was slumped against a utility shelf, surrounded by a mess of jugs, tools, and empty storage bins. 

He looked tired. Sweaty and pale, but mostly just exhausted. You knelt beside him and took the lighter from his hand, sitting it close by on the concrete floor. “You alright?” You asked softly. His skin was clammy beneath your fingers when you stroked his cheek and brushed his hair away from his eyes. Rolling his head toward you, his expression screamed ‘did you really just ask me that?’ and you couldn’t help but wince. “Yeah, sorry about that.” He stared at you for a moment, almost as if he was deciding whether or not you were sincere. One corner of his mouth twitched upward so slightly that you would have missed it had you not been staring at him so intently. He finally grunted with a nod and let his head rest against a lower shelf, closing his eyes. 

Satisfied that your impromptu toss hadn’t caused him any further injuries, you slid the lighter a bit closer so you could take a look at his leg. It wasn’t good. The fabric was soaked through, dark droplets collecting steadily into a small puddle below his leg. Worry gnawed at your gut but you pushed it down in favor of taking action. “I’m gonna get you stitched up and we’ll figure out what to do from here.” He gave you a thumbs up, not bothering to open his eyes. 

You scooped up the lighter and turned to reach for your pack. Only—it wasn’t there. Where had you placed it? When you replayed the past fifteen minutes, you felt your stomach sink. 

You had left it behind. Beneath a walker. 

“Fuck.” You breathed the word out shakily, frozen to your spot on the floor. 

“What?” Daryl rasped from behind you. 

You still wore a frozen expression of horrifying realization when you twisted back to look at him. He raised his head, brow drawn inward, and repeated himself. 

“My pack. I left it out there—when I ran over to help you.” 

To your shock, he simply shrugged. “Don’t matter.” 

You gaped at him. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter?! Daryl, you’re bleeding!”

Another shrug. “Ain’t the first time, won’t be the last.”

“Daryl. Seriously.” You leveled him with a glare, but he waved you off and began pulling himself up with the aid of the shelves. “What’re you doing? Sit down!” You were really struggling with keeping quiet. The man had a stubborn streak a mile wide. 

“Can it, woman. M’fine.” He stumbled away from the safety of the shelf and grabbed onto the edge of a small table with a grunt, lips pressed into a thin line. 

You noticed, of course, and folded your arms over your chest. “That hurt, huh?” You deadpanned. He tossed a glare your way and, with a sigh, you approached and held up the lighter to start looking around the shed with him. There wasn’t much beyond some handheld tools, random hoses, containers, nuts, and bolts. There were no windows, no other way to escape. 

Fortunately, Carol knew you two had left and where you were going. She had asked to come along but you had shot her down. If only you had known the numbers you and Daryl would face on your own, not to mention the aftermath. Regardless, Carol would come looking. Eventually.

You both just had to survive until then. 

The likelihood of that was looking bleaker by the moment. Your provisions and medical supplies were outside, amidst about two dozen walkers. Not to mention, Daryl was steadily losing blood, leaving a small trail as he finished scouting the space for anything useful. You began to wonder if you had managed to nick the artery after all. 

“Okay, okay. We just need to think. We’ve made it out of worse situations.” You stood facing him, trying not to think about how fast he was breathing or how the pallor to his skin resembled the undead just outside the door. 

“Ya shoulda run. Told ya to run.” Daryl stated quietly, not looking at you. “Ya know damn well—”

“You know damn well I’d never leave you behind! Not now, not ever!”

“Y/N.” His eyes were shimmering with moisture and you could clearly see the flame reflected there. You gave him a small but genuine smile. You would absolutely give your life for Daryl. You knew he would do the same for you. He almost had more than once. Your eyes followed his hand, calloused fingertips whispering down your jaw. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. If you did die tonight, at least you’d be with the man you loved.

You opened your eyes when his hand fell away, ready to keep showering him with affection. Your smile faltered. He was staring at you, face taut with fear. “Daryl?” Just as you took another step closer, his eyes rolled back and he dropped. You abandoned the lighter in favor of catching him, arms hooking beneath his. You couldn’t hold his sudden weight but you managed to slow his descent. “Daryl? Daryl?!” You ended on your hip with his upper body against your torso and his head tucked under your chin. It was a struggle but you managed to turn and sit against the shelf. He was still pressed tightly against you, and you had no intention of letting go. Your tears flowed freely now, one hand moving constantly: stroking his hair, touching his face, checking his pulse, fisting his vest. 

You flinched violently when the door rattled and you heard shards of debris rain onto the concrete. They would flood into the shed any minute. You pulled Daryl’s second knife from its sheath on his belt. Your gun had been lost in your battle to seal the door. 

Cradling him even tighter, you pressed your face into his temple and sobbed. “I love you. No matter what happens, you have to know that.” 

Moments passed, the pounding on the door became more pronounced as the lighter’s flame began to diminish. You could see moonlight and shadows through the areas of the door that had given way under the assault. You could only watch as the door began to buckle. When it seemed as if they would finally break through, you pressed a kiss to Daryl’s forehead and maneuvered from underneath his body, gently lowering him to the floor. 

You were beyond exhausted. Your own injuries were singing with pain. Still, you would put down as many of the fuckers as humanly possible, ready to die before you’d let a single rotten finger touch him. Knife poised to attack, you shifted from foot to foot, readying yourself. The flame went out. 

“HEY!”

You froze at the very human, very alive shout from outside, your tear-filled eyes wide and unblinking. The pounding on the door lessened before stopping completely. 

“TAKE COVER IN THERE!”

You didn’t hesitate to drop the knife and throw yourself over Daryl just as an explosion sounded from just outside. The small shed trembled fiercely for a matter of seconds before everything went still and quiet. Breathing heavily, you raised your head. The door was hanging by one hinge, ready to collapse. Smoke and dust was filtering in and blocked any view of the scene outside. 

A silhouette began to take shape as it approached. Daryl’s knife was back in your hand within a heartbeat and you crouched in front of the still unconscious man, ready to defend him. Your eyes narrowed. 

“Y/N?”

The knife clattered to the ground. “Carol?” Your voice broke on the second syllable, hope seeping into your chest and making you dizzy. 

The silver-haired woman stepped through the doorway, a large gun in hand. She released the barrel and let the strap take the weight so she could pull a flashlight from her belt. More shadows were scurrying about through the smoke behind her. You shielded your eyes as the light found you, falling back onto your ass with a broken laugh of pure relief. 

“He okay? What happened?”

Carol crossed the distance and sat the gun aside, placing a cool hand on your cheek while she looked you over critically. 

“We’ve had a shitty day.”

Your thumb was tracing circles over the back of Daryl’s hand, your eyes following the movements. It had been roughly 13 hours since the grenade had rattled the small shed and Carol had been your savior, along with some volunteers she had rallied up. They had brought medical supplies but you chose to use what you had in your pack. Daryl was going to be thrilled. 

He had remained unconscious while you stitched his leg and while the volunteers helped get him onto a horse. You didn’t feel safe riding with him draped across the animal’s back and chose to ride behind him on the saddle. He was leaning heavily against you, head lolling side to side on your shoulder, and your back ached by the time you and Carol had arrived home to the Commonwealth. He had been restless in his state, saying your name several times in a voice laced with pain and confusion. Each time, you had answered and the arm you had wrapped around his middle had gently tightened. He never responded. 

The men who had traveled back with you carried Daryl into the hospital and he was whisked away on a stretcher. You didn’t like the idea of not going with him but the nurse had insisted that you needed care as well. You sat quietly while your arm was stitched, mind wandering to what would have happened had Carol not shown up when she did. You shook the thoughts from your mind before a devastating conclusion could form images behind your eyes. 

Carol had stayed for a while before offering promises of bringing some food by later and then heading to her home to sleep, leaving you alone with Daryl. The silence was daunting. 

Glancing up, you watched the drops of antibiotics and fluids drip from the bags hanging on the pole. Tomi had promised Daryl would make a full recovery but insisted he stay for at least two days to ensure there was no infection. You did not want to be the one to break that news to him. 

You narrowed your eyes when you were almost certain you could hear the small droplets hit the collection in the mechanism that fed the medication into Daryl’s IV. God, you were tired. You wanted, in the worst way, to crawl onto the bed with him and sleep for days. Yet, you remained in your chair at his bedside, slouching down to lay your head next to his hand that you were still holding. 

You had no more than closed your eyes when Daryl began to come around with a quiet moan. Standing so quickly caused the room to spin but you didn’t care. The archer’s eyes were closed tightly, brow creased. Tomi would need to give him something for the pain, probably. He’d have to be quick and sneaky, otherwise Daryl would refuse it. He always refused anything that could be used by someone else to better their lives for even a moment, at the expense of his wellbeing. Luckily, you and Carol were around to make sure he somehow managed to stay healthy. He didn’t make it easy for you. The previous night had been proof of that. 

After just a few moments, he relaxed a little and his eyes began to flutter open. You leaned in further so you would be one of the first things he saw and gave his hand a squeeze. His tired gaze settled on your face and his fingers briefly tightened around your hand.

“Welcome back, Dixon.” You smiled while your free hand began to smooth back his hair, soft and gentle sweeps of your palm that you thought for a moment might coax him back to sleep. 

“Hi.” He croaked, expression pinching up in discomfort. A cup of water was at his lips a moment later. Given the position of the bed, he didn’t need to raise his head far to accept a few swallows, but you put your hand behind his neck to support him anyway. When he turned his head away slightly, you placed the cup on the bedside table. Daryl cleared his throat and tried again. “Ya alrigh’?”

You laughed at the ridiculous question. Of course he had nearly bled to death and was worried about you when he woke up. “I’m fine. I’m not the one laid up in the hospital.” It was a joke and he knew it, if the feeble scoff he gave was any indication. 

“How’d we get back?” He still sounded so, so tired but you’d take tired and awake over sitting by his deathly still form any day. 

“Carol.” You didn’t have to say anything else. The man nodded gingerly and closed his eyes. You stayed quiet for several minutes, back to petting his hair. While he was relaxed under your ministrations, he was not sleeping. “Daryl, we need to talk about what happened.” He didn’t open his eyes right away but released a deep sigh. “We should have waited to go after those guys when a group had been designated. Instead, I was chasing you, running off all half-cocked.” You waited and finally his eyes opened. He didn’t look at you, and you knew then that, while he felt bad about it, he was aware you were right. He stared at a point between the wall and the ceiling, stubbornly refusing to engage in the conversation. It was your turn to sigh. “Daryl, why didn’t you wait?” You pressed. The answer was one you knew already, but you needed him to be willing to talk about it. 

“Kid was s’posed ta be with me, Y/N.” He finally said. “Them parents ain’t got their kid no more cause I didn’t protect him.” There was a sadness in his eyes that broke your heart. It was still a wonder to you how that brash, rude redneck you met at the quarry all those years ago transformed into the man in front of you. Still sometimes rude, but with the biggest heart of any man you’d ever known. He had opened himself up and allowed himself to love and to be loved, though it didn’t come without cost. Allowing himself to feel so deeply also made him a slave to more negative feelings. He held onto those tightly and let them punish him, beat him down. 

You leaned over him to press a kiss to his forehead, the action drawing his gaze to yours. “Listen to me, Daryl Dixon.” Your hand gently pressed on the side of his face. “That guilt isn’t yours to carry.” When he opened his mouth, your hand moved to press a finger to his lips. You shook your head. “It’s not. There’s no one to blame here except the kid and those men. He chose to leave the community that day and that was a mistake he was old enough to know better than to make, but it was those men that made the choice to end his life. That’s not on you. Do you hear me?” 

He was mulling it all over, looking away from you. You weren’t naive enough to think that this conversation could change the way he processed emotions, but perhaps over time, with enough love and reminders, he would stop shouldering so much shit alone. 

“Ya still should’a run when I told ya. That’s gonna getcha killed one day.” 

“Why do you do that?” You twisted to sit on the edge of the bed, next to his hip. 

“Do what?” Daryl grimaced, probably from pain, but his expression smoothed out quickly. 

“Act like you shouldn’t be important to me. Like I shouldn’t make you a priority.” You waited for him to look at you. You wanted him to see your sincerity. “Being in love is not a weakness, you know. You’re everything to me, Daryl. You make me want to fight, to survive. If it takes me dying to keep you alive then it’s worth it.”

“S’not.” 

“It is. You are.” When he looked away, you leaned over to cup his cheek and turn his head to face you again. The emotions you saw there made your heart clench. “You are worth it. You will always be worth it, Daryl.”

His Adam's Apple bobbed when he swallowed, eyes looking back and forth between yours. “M’s’posed to watch out for ya.”

You shook your head. “You and me. This. Us. We’re a team. We watch out for each other.” His lip quivered so slightly that you almost missed it but you chose to leave it be. “That’s the deal, Dixon. You’re never getting rid of me.” A tear slid down your cheek. You hadn’t even realized you had started to cry. Daryl pulled away the hand you had never released and reached to wipe away the moisture with his thumb before wrapping his fingers around the side of your neck to pull you down. 

It wasn’t your first kiss but like every one before it, it stole your breath. His lips moved against yours softly while he raised his hand from your neck to place it back against your cheek. Too soon, the moment ended and you sniffled away anymore tears while your forehead rested against his. 

“M’okay with that.” He said quietly. “Not gettin’ ridda ya.”

You noticed the hint of a smile when you laughed. “You may change your mind about that when you see the hot pink thread I used to stitch up your thigh.”

Daryl rolled his eyes and pulled you down for another kiss. “Yeah, might want a refund after all.” 

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku's Little Sister Ch23

(PSA: This story contains an original character. That being said, it also has relationship building along with real life development and character studies. If that interests you please don’t let that deter you from reading. It’s worth it, I promise)

Chapter 23: "Vulnerability is a Death Sentence"

Summary: As Odasaku's little sister helps out with the Flags mission, and Chuuya has to form an unwillingly partnership with her, where he finds out perhaps she's not exactly heartless like Dazai after all. In fact, they may be more similar then they originally though. But for a boy like Chuuya who has only known betrayal, trusting another would seem impossible.

(This chapter is for the Chuuya stans. I hope I represented you well 🫡)

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old chuuya, manipulation, small bit of stabbing, talks of Odasaku's death, grumpy angry chuuya for real here, chuuya is suffering and we all love it (poor boy), distrustful Chuuya, mentions of killing and assassins, murder, morally grey complex characters, self destruction.

(This is chapter twenty-three of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Master List Here- To Start from Ch1 <3

A03 Here

Work Count: 10k

Chapter 23:

"Vulnerability is a Death Sentence"

(One Year Ago) 

Chuuya: Age Fifteen 

Soul Searching. 

That’s what Shirase, a member of the Sheep said, that they did some “soul searching” before he plunged a rat poison soaked knife into Chuuya’s side with the intent of murder. The very organization that those kids called their leader, their King, betrayed him without a second thought. 

All because of one job he did with their enemies, the port mafia. 

He managed to get away, clutching his side as he pulled the knife free from his body before leaning his head against the bottom of the cliff in shame and internal pain.

Hearing the faint shouts of a kid he used to trust with his life command to go after him, Chuuya closed his eyes, willing away the reality of the situation. “Go get him right out! He may be weakened by the poison but it won’t be enough to kill him! Finish the job!”

Shirase. He could hear the anger, the disgust in his voice even from here. His own army, his makeshift family he thought he had, treating him like an enemy. 

The deception was still fresh on his tongue, cutting through his soul with his own self shame. Why the hell did he even trust them to begin with? The people that took him in and gave him a makeshift home, they tore it out from under him without a second thought. 

Perhaps he deserved it, perhaps this was always going to be the outcome. Chuuya allowed the toxic idea to play inside his mind and torment him, making the wound to his side hurt more with each self-deprecating thought. 

They saw him as weak, as disposable, and maybe he was. For a boy with no memory before the age of seven, a boy that couldn’t even dream or understand such simple concepts like bread without being taught, a boy that didn’t even know if he was human..

Maybe he deserved this. 

And yet he fought, he screamed and yelled with all his might against the idea because the reality of any of that being true was something that Chuuya could not accept. 

They wanted to dispose of him? Then they’d have a hell of a fight. 

And then, like a nightmare, he appeared. 

Dazai Osamu. 

A devil in sheep's clothing, a demon in the form of man, acting like some sort of savior even though he was the one that set everything up from the beginning. He planted the seeds of doubt into the Sheep, he was the one that caused all of this to turn into motion. 

A joke, a goddamn joke, that’s what he felt like, a pawn in a game he didn’t even know he was playing. He was always a joke, first with The Sheep and now with the Demon Prodigy.

That bastard, he hated him more than anything, but he had no choice, he had to reach out his hand to the boy, for that was his only option, and from the sick grin on his lips, Dazai knew that too. 

Easily manipulated. Easily played. 

Dazai hummed absentmindedly, his eyes sharp like a hawk. “You know, now that the GSS and the Sheep have formed an alliance, we have to shut them down. If I do my job, by noon today they’ll all be dead.” 

Widening his eyes, Chuuya immediately felt his ability activate, the red glow around him an ominous promise. “You’d really hurt all those kids?” 

What a goddamn idiot he thought himself to be. They had just outwardly expressed their desire to murder him and yet the idea of all those kids being massacred by the port mafia’s hands left him with a feeling he couldn’t bear. 

He felt pathetic, utterly pathetic as Dazai shrugged at the idea of killing kids. “Our policy never changes. That said, if someone on my team made that suggestion for me not to go through with it, I would take that under advisement.”

And there it was, like a pit in his stomach, the final piece, the checkmate. 

A hot ball of anger coursed through Chuuya’s throat as it all became clear. So that’s how it is. It was all for this moment. 

So he could be manipulated to join the port mafia. 

Narrowing his eyes at the banaged bastard, Chuuya weighed his options, the ones he knew he didn’t actually have. He wanted so badly to tell Dazai and those port mafia bastards to shove it. He wanted to not play into their hands just for the sole purpose of proving something. 

But somewhere deep down he knew he couldn’t. Although The Sheep had abandoned him, left him for dead, he still didn’t have the heart to turn the other cheek while the port mafia murdered them all. 

He cursed himself for not being as heartless as Dazai, for not allowing himself to just say screw them and die as a giant middle finger to their efforts. 

But whether human or not, whether a blessing or a curse, he couldn’t do it. “Just don’t kill the children.” 

Lifting his head, Chuuya sealed his fate, but with that came a deep rooted distrust that he would hold deep for the rest of his life. 

He would not allow himself to be played in such a way again, he would not let his heart be laid open only for people like the Demon Prodigy to crush it between his fingers. 

That’s right, he would fight and scream and curse but he would never trust again. 

Because who would want to even care for something like him? Surely they would all lie, like Dazai, and like the Sheep.

No, he’d never fall for it again.

That damn son of a bitch, if that’s how you want to play it. I’m in.

-----

(Present Day)

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Chuuya made his way down the dark Yokohama streets as he shook away bad memories he would like to forget. They needed to focus. Someone was murdering port mafia members and it was their job to stop it. That’s all that mattered now. 

He then glanced behind him only to mentally groan at the reminder of Dazai’s girlfriend following behind them, a slight skip to her step like she was going to a colorful kids birthday party and not a possible murder scene. 

That girl, he couldn’t get over her, she was a certified nutcase. He didn’t trust her, not one bit. He had learned better after all, ready for her to stab him in the back at any second of the day. A means to an end, that’s what he has to keep telling himself. 

He’d use her and then he’d never see her again. 

Besides, what the hell was she talking about, wanting to be his friend so badly? There’s no way he’d want someone certifiably insane like her so close. That was a death sentence waiting to happen. She was playing him, she had to be. 

There was no way she was actually serious about such a ridiculous thing. 

Meanwhile, Iceman was having another problem, the man not having broken his eyes from the small auburn haired dorky looking girl since they left the base. There was still something about her he didn’t like, and although she hid it well, he was going to find out soon enough. 

Because if she was a threat to his colleagues then he would do something about it. 

And that was a promise. 

He then paused when Asagao’s voice rang out next to him, a calm smile on her lips. “Iceman, right? I can see why they call you that. I can feel the cold chill from here haha.” 

The man narrows his eyes before replying. “You knew I was watching you..”

Asa shrugs her shoulders. “A bit yeah. Am I really that fascinating?” 

She downplayed it but her response only made him even more suspicious. He was being subtle about profiling her and yet she noticed so quickly. She was smarter than she led on, and that was a dangerous sentiment. 

Iceman frowns at the idea. “You’re hiding something and I’m gonna find out what it is.” 

He watched her reaction, to see him there is any unease there but she simply laughs, like it’s a funny joke. “Ah, well aren’t we all hiding something? I mean you’re an assassin right? I bet you got all sorts of skeletons in your closet, yeah?” 

She wasn’t denying it, How odd. “I suppose.” 

Asagao smiles at that, nodding in step with him. “I knew it! I bet you have a lot of nasty kills under your belt huh?”

Iceman raises an eye at that. “You don’t seem bothered by that..”

Asa laughs in reply. “Why should I be? It’s just your job.”

The man paused at the notion. While yes that’s true, the idea that this sixteen year old kid was just laughing off the idea of murder was not normal. Usually someone would steer away from those kinds of topics but not only was she encouraging it, she was bringing it up. 

Tilting her head, the kid pauses in naive confusion. “Hm? Did I say something wrong?” 

Iceman then took a breath before approaching the topic carefully. “Not many young girls have that kind of mindset, not many people for that matter. You’re not disturbed at all at the idea of me being an assassin?”

Asagao turns silent for a moment, her eyes screwing together in a complex thought like she couldn’t understand his words. “Mm they don’t? How odd. I don’t see why it would disturb them. It’s just orders after all. You get told what target to kill and then you do it? Seems simple to me.” 

Iceman stops walking at that, his eyes widening in shock at what she casually just said. “Just orders? I’m taking people’s lives.” 

She only nods in reply, not understanding the gravity of the situation at all. “Yeah, I know that. But it’s nothing personal. Just orders. An indifference.”

An indifference? Was she serious? Perhaps in simple terms it was that black and white but nothing was that simple. He may be an assassin but the act of ending another person wasn’t anything like she was saying. 

Yes he had orders and yes he carried them out but with each life there was a sort of guilt, the humanity in him, never able to fully detach from the depravity from the action. He did it anyway but to be completely void of emotion when pulling that trigger, that was a kind of heartlessness he wasn’t able to achieve. 

Regardless of who they were or how evil or innocent they were, they were still people and ignoring that felt like a disservice to the trigger he pulled each and every time. Killing was anything but simple, and yet she was speaking about it like she was talking about the weather. 

Just who in the hell was this kid that Chuuya found? 

Iceman then felt his next words form without permission. “You’ve killed before.” 

It was a statement, something he had no proof of and yet somehow wholeheartedly believed. The assassin in him was screaming it from the very depths of his lungs. This little girl had seen darkness, and perhaps had also created it as well. 

Asagao pauses at that, looking back at where Iceman had stopped walking, a look in her eyes under the dorky glasses she wears that is absolutely unreadable. She doesn’t answer his question but she doesn’t need to, the way the air shifts is enough of an answer in itself.

Something hidden behind those glasses, something lurking just under the happy go lucky persona she puts on for everyone else. Iceman could see it, better than anyone else. 

A thinly veiled danger under the surface. 

He opened his mouth to confront it when Chuuya’s phone rings, causing everyone to turn to look only to watch the young ginger boy's face grow pale before hanging up and shouting. “That was Doc, he said to hurry to the wharf, there was an ambush regarding the jewel trade!”

That caused everyone to immediately pick up the pace, forgetting any previous conversation as they rushed to the scene only for Chuuya to see Asagao bumping into random people due to their retreating figures and her unreliable off prescription glasses.

Oh for the love of..

Groaning in annoyance, the boy doubled back before grabbing her hand to pull her along with them. She was such a pain the ass, unable to not be a disaster without his help all the damn time. “We don’t have time for this, let’s go!” 

Asa squeaks as Chuuya pulls her along the streets of Yokohama, trying to keep up with him as she silently thanks the boy for not leaving her to get lost by herself. 

They reach the wharf in record time, as they see Doc is waiting for them outside the large warehouse doors, eying Asa with interest. “Oh? Who’s the new kid?” 

Chuuya brushes the introduction away though. “Not important, what happened?”

Doc then glances inside before leaning against the warehouse doors. “See for yourself, but I’d brace yourself. It isn’t pretty, even for me.” 

Pushing open the warehouse doors, the Flags all freeze at the sight before them. Bodies, dozens of dead bodies face down on the cold cement floor, all of them lower level port mafia members. 

The smell of iron is prevalent, causing Chuuya to clench his fists. No one dares speak, all of them too stunned by the scene to say anything. 

All of them, except Asa that is, the girl not having the same reaction in the silentest as she whistles. “Damn, someone got busy in here.That’s gotta be like two dozen bodies.” 

Everyone blinks in disbelief before turning to Asagao only to find her completely unbothered by the marassace. In fact, she seemed almost, impressed? But that couldn't be. This was a horrible horrific scene, who would be impressed by this?

Asagao seemed to notice the staring, pausing as she looked behind her in confusion before turning back to them. “What? What are you staring at?” 

They all turn to each other again silently. Did she seriously not think anything was wrong with her reaction? Nothing at all? They couldn’t believe it. 

Chuuya groans, walking past the psychotic girl with a mutter. “Ignore her, she’s fucking insane. We have to figure out who did this.”

Shaking out of their thoughts, the Flags nod before stepping inside the warehouse for clues, Iceman watching Asa very carefully as she casually strolls through the bodies like she was taking a walk through a park or something.

It was like she had no reaction to death at all, like she didn’t possess it. How strange. 

Asagao looks down at the bodies carefully, cataloging the manner of their death before she hums. “These kills are personal. Stab wounds, choking, they wanted it to hurt. Hey guys, what kinda enemies do you have around here?” 

The girl then notices something next to the body and slips it into her pocket with a hum.

Lippman only snorts though. “What kind of enemies don’t we have, princess? The list is pretty long.” 

Chuuya nods. “Yeah, saying it was personally against the port mafia doesn’t mean much. We piss a lot of people off.” 

They remain quiet at the idea. It was true, someone attacking the mafia was dumb but not unheard of. Mori screwed over a lot of people and many wanted revenge for their misdeeds, but still, something seemed wrong about this to Chuuya. 

They were targeting the jewel trade now, and that was his division. 

Somehow, this felt personal. 

They all pause when they hear Albatross’ voice. “Hey guys, I think I found something. Come over here!” 

The group follows the call over to a body in the corner only for the man to hold up a piece of paper. “This was in this guy's pocket. It looks to be an address, written hastily like it was in the middle of the attack.” 

Piano Man takes the small piece of paper and sure enough, it was an address, barely legible, with blood around the edges like the man was bleeding out when he wrote it. “You think this guy was giving us a lead?”

Chuuya frowns at the sight though,it seemed too easy. “I don’t trust it. It could be a trap.” 

Asagao then peeks over the boy’s shoulder though, humming in interest. “But that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? A high stakes mission that could be a trap in the end! Oh, my blood’s pumping just thinking about it!” 

Turning around, Chuuya glares in her direction. She was way too happy about possibly walking to their deaths by following this note. “Could you stop being so damn giddy about this? This isn’t a game, it’s serious..” 

She pouts in response as Albatross laughs, resting his arms on Asa’s head. “Oh come on Chu Chu , I agree with her. We should go see what this place is about.” 

Chuuya hisses in response. “I told you to stop calling me that stupid nickname..” 

Piano Man only puts his hand up though to stop the bickering. “I know it’s risky but it’s the only lead we have. I say we follow it, especially if our colleague gave his life to tell us this. It would be a disservice not to at least see what it is.” 

Everyone then turns to the dead body before coming to an agreement. If this low leveled mafioso wrote them this note in his last moments alive then they had to see it through it. 

The group then starts filtering out of the warehouse, Asagao turning around happily to start her first true mafioso mission when she spots Chuuya as he leans down over the dead body of the man that wrote the note before he gently closes the man's eyes so they are peacefully shut. 

Blinking in confusion, Asa steps towards the boy. “Why did you do that?”

Chuuya only scoffs though, looking down at the man before muttering. “Thanking him for his service to the port mafia.” 

But Asagao frowns in response, her brain not connecting the sentiment. “What’s the point? He’s already dead.” 

Glaring in her direction, Chuuya gets up from his knee before walking over to her, disgust in his eyes. How could she be so heartless? “But he was human.” 

Then the boy pauses, seeing the disconnect in her eyes, like she couldn't understand a simple thing like empathy for the dead. 

And she couldn’t. For Asagao, she had been raised as an assassin with an assassin mindset. She pulled the trigger hundreds of times and disconnected the emotions that came with such an action time and time again, so much so her view on death was never quite right. 

But she never noticed it, not until she saw the way Chuuya looked at her like she was crazy, like she was doing something wrong. So much so, she wanted to poke him more about the topic. 

Yet before she could, he had already walked away, leaving her confused and bothered as she looked at the man’s dead body and felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

Just like when she tried to think about her brother, it was that same empty feeling. 

That hole inside her soul, like something had been carved out, something was missing from her humanity. Death, was it supposed to feel a certain way? Was something wrong with her?

Whirling around she calls after the boy. “Chuuya..”

He pauses at the sound of her voice, hearing the slight desperate edge of it, something he had never associated with her before. So much so, he thought it was a trick. 

Turning around against his will, the kid waits for her to speak.

Asagao remains silent for a moment, her hands tensing into a ball, unsure how to approach such a sensitive topic for her before she asks. “How..how does death feel?”

And that was something Chuuya certainly didn’t expect, his eyes rising with confusion and slight annoyance as he tried to process her words. “What kind of question is that?” 

His voice was sharp, accusatory, causing Asa to internally recoil a bit before pointing to the dead man with even more uncertainty. “I..I don’t know. I just..you look at this man and you feel something, right?” 

The girl needed to know, she needed to see if she was just imagining it or if there truly was something she was missing. Because if Chuuya felt that same empty hole that she did when she looked at that dead man, then why did he gently close his lifeless eyes and call him human? 

Asagao didn’t understand. 

Chuuya frowns even more at her odd question, glancing at the low leveled grunt before turning back to her. Sure, he didn’t know the guy personally but he had given his life in the name of the port mafia, exactly like he would’ve done. They were unnamed comrades whether he liked it or not. 

So of course he’d care. 

But that had always been who he was, Chuuya closing his eyes for a moment as he recalls sacrificing himself to the port mafia last year in exchange to save the Sheep’s lives even though those kids had actively tried to kill him. 

Pulling the trigger, ending a life, it was still something the mafioso found hard. 

So of course he cared about this unnamed dead man, enough to respect him and his sacrifice for the mafia that is. But didn’t everyone feel that way? 

Scoffing at her question, the boy opened his eyes to look at her again, accusatory. “Yeah. Don’t you?” 

But his words were like a bullet through Asagao’s chest. He said it like it was a matter of fact, that it was second nature to do something so meaningful for the dead, like looking at this dead body was obviously supposed to invoke something inside her. 

And yet, she felt nothing.

Her hellhound assassin training, it had shifted something she didn’t even know.

Not until now. 

A horrible thought then crossed her mind. If Dazai died would she look at his body with this same empty void? Would she look at his corpse and feel absolutely nothing as well? She couldn’t bear the thought, given that he was the most precious thing in her life. 

But then again, the memory of Oda was precious to her as well and she didn’t connect to that either in any capacity. Her heart dropped at the realization that maybe this went further than just not knowing him personally. Maybe there truly was an unbalance.

How cruel of her for not having such an emotion everyone else seemed to possess. 

Closing her fists even tighter to turn white, Asa felt her tongue run dry. She wanted to tell him the truth to tell him that something was wrong with her, that she was broken or defective but the words didn’t come. 

Fear of judgment, fear of being looked at like a monster seeps in before she can even stop it. She wanted him to be her friend but surely he wouldn’t want her if she was an unfeeling monster, unable to process or understand the sentiment of death or killing. 

And even though she was wearing her glasses to blur her vision, she couldn’t help but remember Chuuya’s hatred when she looked at him previously without them. No, that couldn’t happen again, she didn’t want to see it. 

How vulnerable she truly was. 

So instead, Asagao then closed her eyes for a moment before forcing a smile onto her lips to skip past Chuuya and lock down her insecurities. “Whaaa? What kind of question is that? Of course I do. Just wanted to get on the same page. Now, let’s catch up with the others! We got a lead to follow!” 

Then she races out of the warehouse, not looking at the dozens of bodies as she goes, not because she couldn’t bear to see them.. 

But because she didn’t want Chuuya to know how broken she truly was. 

——-

They group arrived at the large unassuming high rise building that had the same location as the note the dead mafioso had in his pocket before they snuck around the back and immediately thought of a plan. 

Having no idea what they were going to walk in on, any solution was going to be risky but this was the best shot they had in order to find out who was really killing port mafia members so brutally. 

Piano Man hums before whispering low. “Alright, first things first, before we do anything we’re gonna have to find a way to disable the security systems so we can walk around a bit more freely.” 

Asa then raises her hand, waving it around like an excited toddler. “Oh, me! Pick me, I can do it!” 

The group turns to her, some skeptical, some amused as Lippman chuckles. “You sure, princess? This is a pretty risky job.” 

She only nods though, eager and ready as she bounces on the heels of her feet. “Yes, I can do it! I promise, I’ll disable those security systems super fast, you can count on me!” 

Chuuya raises an eye in concern before all the other Flags look at him and he sighs. She was crazy but he’s seen how convincing she can be, so he vouches for her. “Yeah, she probably can do it.”

Asagao then claps her hands in joy. “Yay, thank you Chu Chu!” 

But the ginger then raises a hand to stop her from getting too excited. “Don’t thank me,I still don’t trust you. So you’ll be wearing a wire to make sure you don’t do anything dumb.” 

She doesn’t seem to mind though, taking the suggestion in stride. “Oooh a wire? It’s like a real life spy mission! Alright I’m game!” 

Chuuya then groans before gesturing to the others as they fit her with the wire, Asagao humming happily as they do so. 

Albatross can’t help but chuckle. “Hey kid, you seem really excited about this but be careful, yeah? We wouldn’t want you to get stabbed or poisoned or anything haha.” 

The girl gives him a thumbs up in response. “No worries! My body detoxes poison pretty fast anyways so I’m good!” 

Pausing for a moment, the mafioso then bursts out laughing, ruffling her hair with affection. “Oh I like you! You’re so interesting Asa. I never know what you’re gonna say next, it’s great!” 

Asagao laughs as well, beaming at the compliment, which is strange for her since usually people don’t take to her odd mannerisms very well. Well, everyone except Dazai. He was always the expectation. 

Once they are done with the wire, Asa spins around in joy before puffing her cheeks out cutely to hype herself up for the upcoming undercover mission they assigned her on. 

She then takes in a breath before reaching for her clothes and ripping them in various places before she turns to Chuuya with a smile. “Chu Chu, punch me!” 

And the boy freezes, his jaw dropping open in shock. “The hell?” 

Asa nods before pointing to her eye. “You heard me, it’s for the mission. Punch me.” 

But as much as he hated her, punching a girl like her, especially Dazai’s girlfriend, was certainly something that wasn’t on his list. “I’m not punching you.” 

Asa only whines though, taking a step closer. “Come onnn Chu Chu, you know you wanna. I’m giving you a free shot.” 

His eyes can’t help but twitch at the nickname. “Don’t call me that, damn it. I’m not punching you.” 

Humming softly, the auburn girl then pauses before smiling again. “That’s fine, you probably can’t reach my face anyway since you’re so short . Samu would be able to reach, too bad he’s not here.” 

Almost immediately, Chuuya felt his anger spike at being called short. This little bitch was egging him on, how dare she. “Cut it out, it’s not gonna work.” 

Asa doesn’t cut it out though, continuing her condescending tone. “Mmm cut what out? I’m just saying you’re too short to reach my eye. It’s true isn’t it?” 

And hook line and sinker, her words triggered an automatic response in Chuuya, one that was learned by him the day that he met that stupid mackerel Dazai. She wanted him to hit her? Then to hell with it. 

Lifting his fist, Asa then smirks before quickly taking off her glasses and closing her eyes as he punches her in the eye, relatively hard as she stumbles back and the other Flags catch her. 

Seething, the boy then pulls back his hand, taking a breath and waiting for her regret only for Asagao to jump back up, wiping a bit of blood from her nose and she laughs maniacally. “Ah, that’s what I’m talking about! You didn't hold back either, good job Chu Chu!” 

He just eyes her, blinking with disbelief. “You're not normal.” 

Waving the comment away, Asa smiles, putting her glasses back on to her forming black eye. “Ha ha yeah, I get that a lot. Alright, time to disable those security systems, watch me work my magic!” 

Then she disappears from around the building, causing all the Flags to watch her with silent amusement as Lippman chuckles under his breath. “Hey Chuuya, is she always like this?” 

Looking down at his knuckles where he punched her, the boy then groans before closing his eyes, utterly exhausted.

“Unfortunately.”

——

Slipping to the front of the building, Asagao then takes in a breath before mentally preparing herself to get to work. They were all listening to her through the wire, after all. She had to impress them. 

She gives one last look at her torn dress and black eye before racing up to the doors of the building, rushing in as she falls onto the floor with a sob and a panicked breath. She ignores the men reaching for their weapons. 

Show time. 

Looking up with pleading eyes, Asa cries. “H-Help..please help me. I’m being chased. I..they robbed me. I don’t know what to do. I need help. They took my phone.” 

She sniffles pathetically, playing up the “hurt child” angle as the security guard looks down at her with suspicion before asking. “How old are you, kid?” 

Asa whimpers in reply. “I’m...sixteen. Just turned sixteen. Please sir, I’m scared..” 

Grabbing onto his shirt with shaking fingers, she looks up at him, giving her best doe eyes, blinking back tears as the officer looks at her black eye and softens. 

Got him. 

The man then gently takes her hand before helping her off the floor. “Come on. You said you lost your phone right? You can borrow ours. We have one in the security room.” 

Nodding in reply, Asa cries even louder, visually thankful as she reaches forward and hugs the officer with her small shaking arms. “O-Oh thank you thank you thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

The officer chuckles at her vulnerable display, softening even more as Asa silently pickpockets his keys and puts them in her pocket before he pulls away, none the wiser. “It’s alright kid, come on. Let’s go call the police and then your parents.” 

She nods and follows the man into the building, silently taking note of all the security cameras and sensors in the area as they enter the small security room with cameras lining the walls. There are a couple men in there, surveying the scene. 

The officer walks over to the phone and puts it up to his ear, ready to dial as Asa speaks again. “Hey mister? I’m really sorry about this. No hard feelings, okay?” 

Lifting his head from the phone, the man then raises an eye before Asa grabs his head and slams it into the security desk as everyone jumps back, another man reaching for a button on a console before she smirks. “I don’t think so.” 

She then uses her time stop ability, the world turns to a standstill as she quickly moves throughout the room, using her five seconds to grab the man’s face and slam it into the desk as well before turning it off and moving to the side. 

The guard just barely sees his friend fall unconscious before Asa does the same, stopping time to kick the man’s legs out from underneath him and putting her hands around his unassuming neck, squeezing just enough so that even when she starts time he falls unconscious as well. 

And then the room is quiet, Asagao humming absentmindedly as she steps over the unconscious men in order to sit in the spinning chair by the desk, grab the donut the security guard was eating before pushing a button and disabling all the security cameras. “Done.”

 Spinning around a couple times in the chair, the girl then casually gets up before glancing at the unconscious guards and taking a bite of the donut with a smirk. 

“Like I said, no hard feelings.” 

——

Chuuya sighs, tapping his foot impatiently as the team waits for her to return. They heard her little act through the wire and though it was quite scary how she could switch up so quickly, they all couldn't help but be impressed. 

Her cries, whimpers and pleas, they all seemed so real. She even willingly got Chuuya to punch her in the eye and ripped her clothes to truly make it look like she was a damsel in distress. 

They then watch in awe as the small red light of the security camera across from their hiding spot turns dark, signaling that the systems were disabled. She did it, Asagao managed to complete the job. In record time too.

It made the Flags wonder just who the real Asagao was if she was able to fool and manipulate the guards that easily. Did that also mean that the happy go lucky childlike personality they saw all night was also fake? Many weren’t sure if they wanted to truly find out. 

Piano Man is the first to speak, glancing to the annoyed ginger. “Hey Chuuya, where did you pick her up again?” 

The Flags all nod, wondering the same thing as Chuuya pinches the tip of his nose in the start of a headache. “It doesn’t matter, she’s a friend of that bandaged bastard Dazai. That’s all.”

Lippman raises an eye at that. “Dazai? Ah, well that explains it. This definitely isn’t the princess' first rodeo then. I’m impressed.”

Albatross laughs. “Yeah, if she really gets those results maybe should keep her, right Iceman?” 

The assassin stays quiet but narrows his eyes at the idea, not liking it when Chuuya cuts him off harshly. “Oh hell no. We are not asking her to join us. If I have to be around her everyday I’m going to lose my mind!”

The group only laughs at the kid’s misfortune as a hot ball of anger courses through him. They were treating this like all some kind of sick joke but the idea of Dazai’s crazy ass girlfriend joining them on more missions was anything but funny. 

She was good, yeah, he didn’t deny that. She was damn good at deceiving people and tearing them apart but she was also unpredictable, without a semblance of a normal thought. The Flags had seen a little taste of her insanity but Chuuya had seen way worse. These guys didn’t know who they were dealing with, that’s for sure. 

But he had first hand experience, remembering how she willingly played damsel in distress just for the sole purpose of playing with him and getting him to agree to the stupid ass “Chu Chu” nickname. 

She was unpredictable, in the worst way possible and he wanted nothing to do with it after tonight, that was for sure.  

That, and Dazai would never allow it either way, considering his ass was super paranoid about her joining the mafia for some reason. But that was besides the point, he didn’t want her anyways.

Albatross only snickers though. “Sounds like Chuuya is intimidated by a little girl.” 

Feeling his shoulders coil tense as the Flags continued to tease him about the girl, Chuuya felt his fists ball in irritation. They had no idea, no fucking idea how easily it would be for Asa to stab them in the back. 

Hell, she probably was planning it already. But unlike last year with the Flags he was smart. He wasn’t going to fall for it. This whole friendship ploy from her, it was all one big joke. He knew it. 

Chuuya would not let her sneak up on him, he would not be that vulnerable again. 

Turning to the group, the boy glared. “Hey, I’m not intimidated! And I mean it! Don’t even think about letting her join. This isn’t some kind of funny joke. I’m not going to let that little brat walk all over me!” 

Yet that’s when they all hear her voice, directly behind Chuuya, appearing out of seemingly nowhere as she giggles, feeling her breath on his neck and the scent of vanilla from her shampoo. “Hii I’m back!” 

Chuuya immediately feels his soul leave his body, jumping back with wide eyes, his heart hammering in his chest as a small shout of fear escapes his lips, Asa scaring the absolute shit out of him. “What the fuck?!”

And there she is, standing innocently behind him with that same small smile on her lips, her hands lifting out in defense as The Flags burst out in a loud boisterous laughter and their half dead friend clinging for breath from her sudden appearance. 

Albatross has to hold his knees to contain his chuckles as he wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh, that was too good! Red, you’re amazing. Poor Chuuya’s soul left his body!” 

But Chuuya’s face only turned bright red in embarrassment, recovering from his panic before feeling it switch to livid anger. “W-What, what the hell is wrong with you?! Where did you come from?!”

Asagao doesn’t react to his anger, seemingly turning her head cutely. “Hm? Oh, I used my ability to get here faster. Sorry Chu Chu, did I scare you? I just got excited hehe!” 

The boy’s eye twitches at that, resisting the urge to strangle her. She was clearly making fun of him, unbelievable. “You and your damn time stop ability, it pisses me off. And no, I wasn’t scared. Shut up.” 

Strolling up to him, Lippman only smirks though, putting an arm around his shoulder. “Come on man, let’s be honest. You totally were scared of this little cutie. Speaking of which, that’s quite a magic trick you got there princess. I’m impressed.” 

Piano Man nods, a small smile on his lips: “He’s right. You even managed to disable all the security systems. Good job, kid.” 

Asagao widened her eyes at that, jumping forward at the praise, like she hadn’t heard it very often for her skill. “Really? I did a good job?” 

Piano Man only laughs though his eyes softening as he gently pats her head. “Yeah kid, you did good. Now we can go into the building undetected. Come on guys, time to figure out who’s behind this.”

They all nod, walking in through the back door as Chuuya slumps behind, still pissed off and embarrassed about the fact that she was able to sneak up on him so easily. If she wanted to she could’ve slit his throat right then and there. 

Asa glances behind her though, noticing his distress and turning around to meet him in order to reach out to grab his hand before the boy immediately recoils, slapping the gesture away and walking past her. “Don’t touch me. Let’s just get this over with so I don’t have to see you again.” 

He didn’t trust her, no way in hell. Especially not after that little stunt of hers. 

It was a defense mechanism, learned from a life of being betrayed, a life of being played and toyed with more times then he could count. This gesture of reassurance, it was also fake. It had to be.  

But the real truth was, Chuuya felt vulnerable right now, given that he was able to be bested so easily. He didn’t like it, it made his defenses go up ten fold. He felt weak, and that was a death sentence in itself. She’d see it and take advantage of it.

So much so, he didn’t even look back to see the effect of his careless words as he simply moved forward to try to forget about her. 

No, he couldn’t be vulnerable with her. She’d stab him in the back. 

If he showed her his heart, surely she’d carve it up. 

——

As the group moved through the building, they pause at a records room, glancing at the door before Asagao takes out the keys she pickpocketed from the security guard earlier to open the door as the others stand in awe. 

Lippman beams, strolling inside the dark room. “Whoa princess, remind me to always have you on our team. You’re a force to be reckoned with.”

But this time, Asa doesn’t answer, seemingly zoned out as Albatross puts a hand to her head to bring her back to reality. “What’s wrong, Red? Why the long face?”

Snapping back, the girl then blinks before forcing a smile to her lips. “Oh,it’s nothing. It’s just..I think Chu Chu hates me.”

The two men then look at each other before Lippman smiles. “Nah princess, he’s always like that. Chuuya’s a guarded guy. Pretty rough around the edges. I’m sure he doesn’t hate a cutie like you.” 

Albatross nods. “Yeah Red, you should just talk to him. He’ll tell you the truth.” 

The two then walk to the other side of the room to start going through the records as Asagao’s eyes shift to Chuuya’s form a couple feet away. Everything about him screamed unapproachable but she never did listen to such cue’s, walking over to him tentatively. 

She settles next to him, starting to look through the files before taking a breath. “Hey Chu Chu? I just wanted to apologize.” 

Chuuya pauses his fingers before continuing to look through the files, a scowl on his face. The last thing he wanted right now was to deal with her. “For what?” 

He hears her pause for a second before speaking softly. “For everything I guess. I keep making you mad. Then again, that’s not really new for me…” 

She trails off and Chuuya stays silent. She sounded so..sad? But he knew better to believe that. He knew how quickly she could change her personality to fit the situation. 

Scoffing, the boy replied sharply. “Yeah, you piss me off.”

Asagao gives a sad laugh at that. “Yeah, that sounds right. I alway go too far.” 

There’s a small bit of silence between them before she continues. “It’s just..when Samu told me about you I really wanted to meet you.” 

Chuuya frowns at that, finally turning his head to look at her in skepticism, seeing her eyes cast down to the files infront of her in some sort of defeat. Why did she look so pathetic and small right now? He didn’t like it.

Speaking, he frowns. “Why the hell would you want to meet me?”

Her eyes soften at that, a hint of vulnerability in them. “I just thought that if you handle Samu, then maybe..maybe you’d want to be friends with me too.” 

Chuuya couldn’t help but stop what he was doing, hearing her statement before his frown became more prevalent. Why in the hell would he want another mini Dazai running around him? Her logic was screwed up. 

But before he could answer, she continued. “I know I’m not exactly..easy to get along with. Not many people stick around because I always manage to make them hate me some way or another. But..I really didn’t want that to happen with you Chuuya.” 

Her hands then tighten on the files as a bitter chuckle escaped her lips. “But maybe I’m just being selfish, thinking about what I want rather than what you want. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so alone this whole time.”

Processing the words, Chuuya narrowed his eyes. What was she talking about? As far as he’s seen she was anything but alone. “Alone? You have that idiot boyfriend of yours.” 

And as much as the boy hated Dazai with his entire being, he couldn’t deny that Asagao and that bandaged bastard fit well together. Like a match made in hell. 

Although that’s when Asa gives a small chuckle, casually saying. “Ah well you see..Samu’s only my boyfriend in name. That’s all.”

The words hit him like a strike of lightning, his fingers immediately freezing from whatever he was looking at in order to turn and face her. He heard that wrong right? The way those two were all over each other the last time he saw them, there was no way that was fake. 

She was messing with him, she had to be. “In name? You two aren’t really dating?”

But Asagao only shook her head in reply, a smile on her lips that didn’t seem fully genuine.”No, it’s not like that. We’re just using each other to get what we want, that’s all.” 

What kind of fucked up reasoning was that? Using them to get what they want? What kind of screwed up relationship did she actually have with Dazai then? “You can’t be serious..” 

Asa then turned to him, finally lifting her head for the first time during the conversation, a resigned look in her eyes . “I am. We’re not like that. I just have something he needs and he has something I need, that’s all it is to it.” 

This sent Chuuya’s head reeling. None of it made any goddamn sense in the slightest. “So, you haven’t like kissed or anything? It’s just transactional?”

Yet at the word “kissed” Asagao’s eyes widen as her entire face turns red and she shifts her head down to look back at the files, recalling the memory she was trying to forget of Samu and her kissing while they were drunk. “I..well…that doesn’t matter, it still doesn't mean anything. Nothing has changed between us. It’s still transactional.” 

But her response only made Chuuya even more confused. “Wait, you have kissed?” 

Burying her face into the files in embarrassment for her burning cheeks, Asa stuttered. “S-So what? It was just a test, it didn’t mean anything. Not to him anyways. So it’s fine..” 

Chuuya deadpans. “But it meant something to you obviously.”

Asagao then closes her eyes before covering her face with her hands.She really didn’t want to talk about this, especially since she wasn’t sure herself what it meant. “I…it doesn’t matter. He doesn't feel that way about me. I’m happy just the way we are, I couldn’t ask for more. Besides, even if it was..that way, there’s no way he’d like me like that so it’s fine.” 

And that pissed Chuuya off. What the hell was this self deprecating thought process she had all of a sudden? She was always so sure of herself to a fault and now it was completely different. He didn’t like it. 

Taking a step closer to her, the boy glares. “Why the hell not? You may be insufferable but if anyone could handle you it would be that shitty Dazai.”

He believed that with his whole heart. Yes, she was batshit insane but so was Dazai. He knew that kid for a whole ass year, knew him like the back of his hand and if that suicidal bastard was going to date anyone it would be Asagao. 

But it seemed like the girl herself didn’t see that, her fingers moving to her skirt to nervously play with a hem as her eyes softened to a level of raw emotion he had never seen before from her. “I just…”

Her voice trails off but Chuuya doesn't allow her to drop the topic. “What?”

The silence is heavy, coating the entire room before Asa gives a tiny pathetic chuckle under her breath before finally speaking softly. “That emotion, I don’t think I’m made for that kind of thing, that’s all.”

Her words caused Chuuya to immediately widen his eyes as a pit dropped inside his stomach. Not made for what? Care, compassion, love? Did she truly think that? 

And the first thought was for him to believe that she was lying, that she was giving him this whole sad sob story to let his guard down but the look in her eyes, that couldn’t be faked, or at least it was damn hard to do. 

So much so, his voice echoed in the same whisper tone. “You don’t think you can be loved..?”

She doesn’t answer, she doesn’t have to, because the silence was answer enough as she bows her head in resignation before continuing to look through the files like she hadn’t just answered the most heart wrenching question of all. 

Did she truly believe she couldn’t be loved, by anyone, by even Dazai? Chuuya could hardly believe it. What a sad horrible belief she held inside her. He wondered why she thought that was the case?

Sure, she was hard to manage and had a tendency to piss him off more times then not but to say that she would never be loved by anyone ever was taking it a bit too far. “Why?”

The word is simple, but held a thousand questions, a thousand thoughts and a thousand feelings. He needed to know, he felt like he won’t be able to breathe without knowing why she hates herself so much.

Yet inside Asagao’s head, her mind turns with every negative thought she could possess. She remembers how she looked at those dead bodies earlier with no emotion, how she never says the right thing and mixes up her emotions because she was never taught how to process them correctly. 

She remembers the orders she received as an assassin when she was five, how she pulled that trigger a million times without even thinking about closing the corpses eyes like Chuuya had done in that warehouse. How could she possibly be worthy of love when she was missing basic human compassion? 

How could she be held by Osamu and voice her feelings for him when she had trampled on the lives of thousands of people like nothing? Even her own brother, she couldn’t feel a speck of grief for him even though she had heard so many stories from Dazai. 

There was something wrong with her, deeply deeply wrong. How could she be worthy to be loved when no one had ever stuck around long then day unless it was out of obligations or some sort of transactional means? 

Taking a shaky breath, Asagao then closes her eyes before speaking, just barely above a whisper. “How can I when I don't even know if I’m fully human..” 

And the words hit him immediately, Chuuya’ heart stopping inside his chest. Human. She didn’t think she was human..just like him. 

Fuck, what was she doing, voicing his internal thoughts and spitting them back out to him like it was nothing? The idea of being a robot, the feeling of being this monster that wasn’t worthy of the simple concept of love. 

He felt exactly the same way. 

Because Chuuya didn’t feel human, not in the slightest. He didn’t dream, he had little memory to understand and hold close. How dare she say that, she had no fucking idea what it was like to have this void inside his chest, this black hole that could never be filled no matter how desperately he wanted it to be. 

But the more he looked at her, the more he saw the pain and the regret in her eyes. She hid it well, behind those large round glasses of hers. A wall of protection, of witty comments and manipulative ideas. 

But in this moment of silence, he couldn't help but see a reflection of himself. 

And he absolutely hated it. 

There was no way. She was supposed to like Dazai, she was supposed to be evil and cruel, recognizing her flaws and yet not caring about them in any way shape or form. That’s what she displayed usually. 

But the Asagao he was looking at now, it was different. More solemn and pensive, like she was lost in her thoughts and drowning in her hidden feelings. It was supposed to be black and white, and yet now he saw the grey. 

The messy, uncertain grey. 

So much so, the words slipped out before he could process them. “Me either.”

Almost immediately, he shuts his lips again, panic on his face. Why did he say that? Why did he give her a weakness so easily? She was going to use it now, she was going to take it and throw it back in his face to destroy him. 

Yet the more he looked at her shocked expression, a small bit of hope unwillingly crept it. Maybe she did truly understand the complex feelings he was carrying alone.

Perhaps she was more like him than he originally thought. 

It was something he didn’t even humor until now. But could it finally be? Was there someone that was uncertain about their humanity like he was? Could he finally confide in someone with his darkest fears? He didn’t know. 

But the possibility was there, and it was both incredibly scary yet comforting at the same exact time. She was dangerous, he shouldn’t be humoring the thought and yet he can’t help it, having been so alone his entire life.

He opened his mouth to speak again when the Flags cut through the space, their voices breaking the tension in the air as Albatross spoke. “Hey guys, I found something! It’s a file laying out the assassinations of those port mafia members from earlier.” 

The two kids immediately turn to him before walking over to look at the file and sure enough there it was, a fully laid out plan of the murders they had stumbled upon just hours prior. Whoever these people were, they were certainly involved. 

Chuuya finishes reading the file before grumbling. “It’s a start but there’s nothing in here to suggest who it was. We’re back to square one, just fucking great.” 

Although that’s when Asa takes a look at Chuuya's discouraged expression and reaches into her pocket with a giddy smile, aiming to make him feel better. “Aw don’t be sad Chu Chu. The murders were done by the GSS.” 

The air immediately turned silent, all of them turning to Asa as she stands there unbothered, like she hadn’t just solved the case they had been spending all night breaking into this building and trying to figure out. 

Piano Man takes a step closer to her, cautious. “And how do you know that, kid?” 

Asa then pulls something out of her pocket to hand to Chuuya as he stares at the object with disbelief and shock. In his palm was a bullet shell, monogrammed with the initials GSS on them. 

Holy shit.

But the GSS were supposed to be wiped out by Dazai’s crew after he joined the mafia. Did some survive somehow, and now they were taking revenge on the port mafia for the attempted genocide? 

Snapping his head to Asagao, he closed his hand around the bullet shell before taking a step closer to her, his voice laced with a million emotions. “Where..where the hell did you get this?” 

Asa only hums though, glancing to the shell before pointing behind her. “Oh, the warehouse. It was next to one of the bodies.” 

…the warehouse? But that was hours ago. That was before they found the lead to bring them to this building. Ever so slowly, Chuuya’s disbelief starts to turn to anger. 

You’ve got be kidding me, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. She was hiding this the entire time?! Why, to play around with them?! To watch them run around like headless chickens trying to solve a case that was already figured out?!

Feeling his voice raise, Chuuya shouted. “What?! And you didn’t tell us?! Why?!

Asa didn’t seem to expect his anger, putting her hands up with defense as she took a step back with a nervous chuckle. “Ah, well..I was going to, but then our mission would’ve been over, and I wanted to spend more time with you. We were having fun, weren’t we?” 

Having fun? Having fun?! Chuuya was livid. “Having fun..this isn’t a goddamn game! This could’ve been done hours ago and yet you withheld information just so we could..hang out?! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. People could’ve died while you were fucking around!”

His words were sharp and lethal like venom, causing Asa to begin to realize her logic wasn’t exactly right and she tries to defend herself. “I..I mean yeah but..no one died. Come on Chu Chu, I thought we were really bonding back there for a second..” 

Bonding? That’s why she drew this out, so she could bond with him? That had to be the absolute worst reasoning he had ever heard of. This wasn’t some summer camp where they made friendship bracelets and bonded over a campfire, this was a real mafia mission and she was treating it like a goddamn joke!

Then Chuuya recalls the moment they shared right before this. Fuck, she knows his fear about not being human. He let his stupid tongue slip and now she was going to betray him. That’s always how it went. 

What was wrong with him? Why did he open up to her? 

It bit him in the ass as always.

She reaches a hand out but he slaps it away fuming. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! We weren't bonding, no way in hell. I only brought you here because I had to, not because I wanted to and you treated this like it was all some goddamn joke. I knew this was a bad idea, I knew having a psychopath on this job like you was a mistake..” 

Asa tries to speak again. “Chu Chu..I..but we’re friends and I just wanted to..” 

But he cuts her off, far too paranoid of her using anything against him and furious to even listen to any other bullshit from her lips. “No, shut the hell up. We are not friends, we never were and we never will be. You may have blackmailed me into agreeing to that stupid request but it will never be real, ever. I would never want to be friends with someone like you.” 

The Flags all look at Chuuya, feeling the tension in the air as Piano Man takes a step forward. He knew the boy was angry but he was going to say something he regretted. “Chuuya..” 

But the kid didn’t want to hear it, shaking his head and pointing an accusatory finger at Dazai’s crazy ass girlfriend. “All you do is manipulate and lie and treat everyone like your own personal playthings and I’m sick of it. Just stay the hell away from me!”

He tries to turn to leave but Asagao doesn’t know when to stop, her feet racing up to him as she reaches her hand out to stop him only for the boy to quickly whirl around and grab her shirt, pulling her closer and hissing. “No wonder why Dazai’s relationship with you is in name only. That’s all anyone would ever want to be with you.” 

Watching her eyes widen at his words, he knew it hurt her but that was the point. She was getting too close to him and he needed her to go away, not knowing any other liabilities about him that she could use.

He was self destructing, it was obvious, but knowing was not enough to stop it. Keep everyone at a distance, never let them know how broken he really was, lashing out with anger and insults. That’s all he knew how to do best. 

Protecting himself by a wall so no one ever came in.

Especially her.

Chuuya then pushes her away as she falls into a sensor and the alarm bells ring all around the room, causing his clouded fury to finally dissipate at his eyes to widen. Shit. 

 He then blinks as Asagao disappears from his sight, probably using her time stop ability as the rest of the Flags curse at the alarms, Albatross grabbing Chuuya’s arm. “Come on man, we gotta go!” 

Feeling pulled in many different directions, Chuuya rushes through the hallways, alarms blaring and disorienting him as his head spun from his previous display.

Everything was just moving so fast, he couldn’t breathe. 

The Flags then shoved the file with the information about the murders into his chest before telling him to run, vaguely seeing hoards of armed guards around as he acted on autopilot and dashed away from them. 

He moved to higher ground, hearing the sound of fighting underneath him as Chuuya makes it onto a platform before he freezes at the sound of a familiar voice, one that made his blood run cold and his anger spike all at once. “Well well well, look who it is. Our fallen King.” 

Snapping his head up, he found himself face to face with the kid that betrayed him an entire year ago, his white spiky hair and fur collared jacket just the same as he remembered. 

Shirase.

Chuuya gritted his teeth, standing up straight to face his past. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

Shirase only chucked though, putting his hands in his pocket. “Oh, you didn’t like the gifts I’ve been sending you? Dozens of mafioso corpses, all because you just wouldn’t die like you were supposed to a year ago.” 

Widening his eyes, the pieces immediately snapped together. The jewel trade, they targeted mafioso in the jewel trade because that was Chuuya’s division. This was all because of him. The Sheep wanted revenge and they were using what was left of the GSS to do it.

The white haired kid’s lips curve into a smirk at that. “Ah, you’re connecting the dots, huh? That’s right Chuuya, the rest of us Sheep still wanted our revenge after you sent the port mafia to destroy our alliance with the GSS. Very few remain, thanks to you.” 

Chuuya glares at the explanation. “I joined the mafia so they wouldn’t kill you. I sacrificed my life so you could live and this is how you repay me? By going after my organization?” 

Shirase only shrugs though. “Quiet Chuuya, stop acting like you care about us anymore. You picked your side, and we picked ours.”

Glancing down to the fight below them, Shirase then chuckles under his breath. “But I can see not much has changed. You're still alone. No one is going to come and save you, just like a year ago. They are all too busy to care about a non-human thing like you.” 

Chuuya’s eyes widen at that, feeling his insecurities fester from Shirase’s words. He knew it wasn’t true, the Flags did care about him, the kid was just trying to get him to doubt that. 

But somewhere in the back of his mind, that same fear crept without permission. Up on this platform it did feel the same, that small sick sense of deja vu he had felt before. Alone. Abandoned. Having no one to rely on but himself. 

And that brought a form of PTSD he hadn’t planned, feeling his heart beat out of his chest. Shirase was right in a sense, not much had changed. He was still pushing people away, shoving them out of his life so they didn’t see the ugly parts of his soul. 

He always did that, even when he was with the Sheep, and now he was here again. 

Just like a year ago, there was no one to fight for him but himself. 

It was crippling, heart wrenching in every way, knowing that in this moment he was truly and utterly alone. 

Just like he deserved to be. 

Shirase then smiles at Chuuya’s unraveling, his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out a blade, a carbon copy like last year as he races towards the boy to finally finish what he started. 

And Chuuya didn’t realize it until the blade was mere inches from his side, the boy’s eyes widening barely having time to react as his brain told him that it was always supposed to be like this. 

He was weak, too weak to ever ask for help. 

The boy then closed his eyes and waited for the familiar sting of the blade to course through him, for that same helpless and vulnerable feeling to appear..

 But it never came. 

Opening his eyes in confusion, Chuuya then felt his nostrils ring with the scent of vanilla, a familiar deja vu filling his senses as he turned back to Shirase and widened his eyes at the sight. 

Asagao, the girl that he had yelled at and had just told to get lost was standing in front of him, the blade that was meant for him plunged deep into her side like she had taken the strike for him. 

Shirase blinked in disbelief at the girl who had mysteriously appeared out of nowhere, reeling back with a shout. “W-Who..how did you…”

But Chuuya knew the answer before she said anything. Her time stop ability, the one that snuck up on him earlier, she had used it to put herself in front of that knife. But why?

Asa only smirks though, her face not showing any signs of pain as she simply takes the handle of the blade and pulls it out of her side, allowing it to clang on the floor. “Nice try, but Chu Chu’s not alone. He has me.”

Shirase takes a step backwards, not understanding what was happening. “Y-You..who are you? You didn’t even wince..”

Chuuya on the other hand is still struggling to understand what is going on, watching as the blood slowly stained her side and his heart dropped in his chest. She just got stabbed for him. Why? He didn’t deserve that. 

She had no reason to after he berated her so harshly just minutes ago. 

So much so, his voice came out a whisper, his eyes never leaving her wounded side. “A-Asa..” 

But she only glanced behind him and smiled, like she’s trying to reassure him she’s okay. 

Then Asa turned back to Shirase before putting her hands out in front of the ginger haired boy, her eyes narrowing with a fire and a threat behind her glasses that made his blood run cold. “The name is Asagao, and though I’m not worthy enough to be Chuuya’s friend yet, I’m going to work hard to earn the meaning of that title. So, back off. He’s protected.” 

And all at once, Chuuya felt his heart stop, tears threatening to break free.

Oh. So this was what he was missing. 

Someone to fight for him. 

---------

(This chapter was a pain in my ass I've been writing it forever. I hope Chuuya's characterization is alright. It's my first time doing a study on him ahhh. Okay next chapter should be soon I'm already halfway down. Also If you're missing Dazai..well you won't be for long.)

[wordy-little-witch]

I was minding my own business distracting myself from my brain, just scrolling on reddit looking for Buggy content and I am FROTHING

Screen shots from the reddit post under the cut, then I will be going feral

I'm losing it. I am LOSING my mind. Because if you like. Really think about this, I am. Oh my gods i am spiraling.

Oden, from Wano, who returned to Wano, who served Whitebeard and later Roger, who knew Buggy and knew his powers and could read the poneglyphs and HAD to have known, in some capacity, what Pluton was, where it was, and had Suspicions.

Buggy who fell ill before Raftel, before that final island and had to be left behind due to it, where the greatest treasure laid in wait, where the end of the world is at, surely as it may be -

Shanks, who, by and large, seems to know more than he necessarily SHOULD, who had that secret conversation with Roger that resulted in clinging, in crying, in heartbreak-

We know Poseidon is an ability, is currently in Shirahoshi, and that Luffy, for whatever reason, could hear the Sea Kings- Luffy who is Nika, who is the Sun, who will be King and carries the Will of D in his veins and voice and vivid demeanor.

Luffy has reason to be connected there. Thematically, it makes sense for an old, overarching plot.

But Buggy "could be the strongest if he trained"; Buggy served as a cabin boy on Rogers ship; Buggy is a fool and a fraud and keeps fucking up into success, confusing the hell out if the people who KNOW him; Buggy who has the Chop Chop Fruit, uncuttable and slitable at will, and who also has a CANON history of loving topography and who makes BOMBS-

And Pluton, the most destructive ship in existence, so much so that the blueprints were kept hidden and held carefully to avoid the schematics falling into the wrong hands - and after the 3D2Y movie, after the Groseade, while it may not be canon, it does sort of put things into perspective - especially when you think on how Franky and Iceburg were flabbergasted by the blueprints, were stunned and confused, when Pluton is under Mt Fuji and would need the WALLS REMOVED AND TORN DOWN to be released and retrieved.

And the Groseade needed a Devil Fruit user to BE as dangerous as it is. And Pluton is bigger, badder, stronger.

Not to mention that it's PLUTON - Pluto - Roman God of Death, the same deity in Greek mythology known as Hades, a name so connected thematically with the afterlife that calling the very land itself by the name Hades is understood in some cultures.

And Buggy, sweet Buggy, crazy Buggy who makes an Olympic sport out of narrowly avoiding death and failure and lucks out to comical effects - he's in hello kitty roller skates on a damned tightrope when it cones to that.

((Also, Hades/Pluto is also associated with wealthy (coughBuggycough) and fortune (CoughCoughBUGGYCoughCough), psa))

Now did you know that nuclear energy is fucking. Potent as HELL. And it's generated with nuclear fission, nuclear decay, and nuclear fusion. It's a meticulous process, but it quite literally boils down to Splitting, Breaking Down, and Putting Together Again.

And if Buggy's Devil fruit could awaken, if he could impose those properties on things OUTSIDE of his body, wouldn't that be more than possible? Wouldn't that be completely feasible, with his history in making WEAPONS, in making BOMBS? The chemical knowledge to do that would be wild, the physics and mechanics alone would be absolutely insane.

But Buggy could damn well be the key there.

If he trained, if he developed his skill and control, he could be the strongest - maybe not literally in a one on one battle royale of brute strength, but he could essentially pilot a nuclear reactor of a giga-ship, the likes of which even FRANKY balked at.

I have... so many thoughts rn and I am LOSING it bc AAAAAAAAAAAA

[jilyawards]

Nominations PSA

We have already sorted out the nominations that have come in so far - keep them coming! Only two days until the gallery is released!

We have received some nominations that did not fit the categories they were submitted under, mostly concerning canon compliance. Those have been moved around to their appropriate categories. We have also had to switch around one fic due to length restrictions and one due to genre, so we thought we'd let you know how it all works:

Works that are nominated for the wrong canon compliance category (ie. a canon compliant fic nominated for canon divergent) will be moved to the appropriate category.

Works that are nominated for the wrong length category (ie. a fic over 10k nominated for short) will be moved to the appropriate category.

Works that are nominated for genre categories are accepted at face value unless there are really glaring discrepancies. We had one very angsty fic nominated for humour/crack, in which case we contacted the author to ask whether they'd like to see their fic feature in that category.

You can find the canon compliance categories described here, but here's a detailed breakdown:

Canon compliant: takes place in the Harry Potter world as we know it, in Hogwarts or during Order era. Contains the basic elements of Jily as we know it: they are Gryffindors, Head Boy and Girl, they get into a relationship at Hogwarts then get married afterwards, fight for the Order, die on Halloween. Stories which fit this core chain of events are placed here even if some of their plot points are not explicitly stated in the books (ie. secret relationship, break-up and make-up, Lily plays Quidditch etc.).

Canon divergent: takes place in the Harry Potter world as we know it, but there are major plot deviations that an author would usually point out to readers about to dive into it: sorted into different Houses, no Voldemort AUs, only one lives/everyone lives, Lily moves abroad to escape the war etc.. Stories containing themes significantly darker/grittier than what is usually found in canon are sometimes submitted here; we leave those up to the submitters' discretion unless there is a canon compliant tag on the story.

Alternate universe: takes place in any universe that is not the Harry Potter world: Muggle/modern setting, historical/regency, fantasy/fairy tale (even if it contains some sort of magic) etc..

We try to stick as close to these definitions as possible so that all nominated stories have their fair chance during voting (ie. not have people not vote for a story because 'it wasn't canon divergent enough'). However, we understand that some stories are not always clear-cut, so the authors' and readers' input is always valued and we seek your help and cooperation throughout the process. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to contact us!

Thanks, Jily Awards Team.

[petra-creat0r]

Deltarune: Fool's Fate Ch. 3 Secret Boss

It's everybody's favorite kitty cowboy, Bandit Casper! This secret boss was actually made by a friend of mine, @mrchaosman and gifted to me as he saw that originally for my Chapter 3 prediction, I had wanted to do something based of off the Woody Theory but abandoned cartoon won the poll I put out which is how we eventually got Bitsy.

While I love Bitsy, as soon as I saw Casper I fell in love with him immediately! He's just a silly lil cowboy cat! Look at him! The silly! My feelings for him are pretty much exactly the meme of "I've only had Bandit Casper for a few days but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this room and then myself." The backstory Mr. Chaosman made for him was also rather funny in my opinion, and though I changed it ever so slightly to match Fool's Fate chapter 3 rather than Deltarune chapter 3, you can still check it out here.

Since Casper wasn't named by me, I don't know his specific name origin, but Chaos did mention Casper's based on Starlo/North Star from Undertale Yellow. I searched up the meaning of the name Casper, and apart from being the name of Casper the Friendly Ghost (oh boy, that brings me back), it also means Treasurer or Treasure-Bearer, which I find fun since I definitely treasure Casper.

Edit: I asked Mr. Chaosman about the name, and he didn't have any particular reason for choosing it, it just sounded cool.

Though his text quirk was something Chaosman came up with, I decided the soul mode Casper uses is the green soul mode. Partially because I have my own order the Fool's Fate sb soul modes will go in that I'm not telling anyone, but also because it was the soul mode I wanted to win along with the Wood Theory to fit Undyne stuff. Instead I got the purple soul mode which is how I decided to make Bitsy a spider.

Anyways, like I said, I love Casper. I want to make a plush of him like I made Dorothy into an actual doll. Originally Chaosman made Casper's Light World equivalent a tape from his show, but I decided to make him into plushie with a maraca sewn in to better represent Casper's "friend", Rattler. I had a maraca egg pipis. I can make this real.

Backstory under the cut

Casper the Kid was the beloved mascot and face of an old anti-bullying campaign, complete with PSA cartoons where he'd bring any bullying varmints to justice, posters with slogans like "See someone being a bully? Report it to your local sheriff! (Or a trusted adult)" or "Don't be a bullying bandit, be a friend instead!", and even a plushie which may or may not been unofficial and made by some students.

In the Dark World, Casper was just as beloved as in the Light World, being seen as a sort of protector and defender of sorta where ever he went. From the grassy purple fields and blocky town of Playmat Plains where he was a town sheriff, to the Field of Hopes and Dreams or the Scarlett Forest where he was more of a vigilante, evading capture from the 4 kings.

Eventually though, kids grew up, posters got taken down, worlds changed around and grew divided, and Casper started to become less popular. Eventually the series of cartoons the friendly cat cowboy stared in stopped being made all together. Even still, Casper still tried to do his best to spread kindness and stop bullying. Though his cartoons were still being shown and he was still trying to bring bullying bandits to justice... It seemed more and more that people just stopped caring. Even if Casper tried to stop people from being mean, they didn't seem to respect his authority at all and whatever Casper did didn't even seem to make a difference.

That's when Casper came across a man. A strange someone who offered Casper a helping hand in his darkest hour. The man revealed to Casper the truth about this world and his existence, giving him a shadowy crystal that let him see his world changing before his very eyes. The man also gave Casper a mysterious egg. Saying that if the kitty cowboy ate it, he would gain a forever friend who could help him with his goal of helping others. The egg made a strange rattling noise, similar to a rattle snake. Even still, Casper still ate the egg and accepted the man's help.

Soon after that, Playmat Plains was in danger of being bought out by some powerful tycoon sent by the new ruler of this world, the Hierophant. Even if most of the inhabitants of the town no longer considered Casper their sheriff, he still felt a duty to protect the little town from some greedy tycoon who just wanted to hurt it. Casper challenged the tycoon to a duel. Who ever won could have the city. The tycoon, intrigued by the moxie of this little kitty, agreed.

What happened next, Casper didn't quite remember. All he remembers was his body shaking and hearing rattling before everything went black and he found himself on the outskirts of town when he woke up. Eventually after stumbling back into town, he found a wanted poster. But not one of a bullying bandit like usual. This time, it was a was a wanted poster of him. With the name "Bandit Casper" and a rather mighty reward.

Casper was confused. He was supposed to be the hero. Why was he all of a sudden one of the bullies he'd sworn to stop? Why was he the "bad guy"?

... What happened during that duel?

As it turned out, the egg Casper ate was actually a parasitic snake creature. Otherwise known as Casper's new "friend", Rattler, who had taken over during the duel and wrecked havoc on the town. Making everyone no longer see Casper as a friendly kitty hero, but something even worse than a bully. A dangerous menace who had to be stopped.

The Hierophant made sure to discard the rest of Casper's cartoons and the cowboy was declared an outlaw. Since then, Casper's been on the run and living out in the Checkered Desert. Still trying hist best to help anyone who crossed his path.

That was until he crossed paths with a group of Lightner children...

---------

Okay it took me a bit to rewrite Casper's backstory to fit Fool's Fate's classroom based Dark World, but I think I got it down! I imagine Casper jumping from world to world was mostly a result of the toy Casper is in the Light World and his cartoons being swapped back and forth between Toriel and Gerson before Gerson passed and his classroom was abandoned and the Casper the Kid stuff was relegated to Tori's classroom before eventually Noelle moved into that room after growing up and becoming a teacher.

Confusing, I know, but I understand it and that's all that matters, shush.

[yuhaino]

I'm putting together a bootleg slime tutorial of the musical, if you have footage please read!

PSA: This is my proper post regarding this, I have went through and compiled most of the London clips of Death Note the Musical available online. I still need to sort through some audio, but I'm hoping to put together some kind of bootleg slime tutorial!

More yapping info under the cut.

If someone with extra clips that they've never published *somehow* finds me please dont be afraid to contact. I likely won't put this together fully until i have more footage/audio.

99% of the clips I have access to are from tiktok with text plastered all over, and all the footage I have is in 360p. So it definitely won't be an ideal way to view it. This is intended to be consumed as supplementary material to enjoy the musical and is being put together for archival purposes.

The colors in the sheet represent the sources i gathered the clips from. I have went through what I believe to be all the available clips online.

I still need to sort through several curtain call clips + audio i found last minute. I also need to compile together listings people have made regarding selling/trading clips and see if anyone is up to kindly give clips of portions that im at the very least missing.

I have access to 2 semi-complete scripts made by other fans to track what is missing from the clips i've found, but i'm taking caution in guessing what is missing so basically im overestimating what I'm missing.

The musical itself is a really well made adaption, and although I don't personally enjoy how the london adaptation went I believe its still worth putting together to make an archival of. Hoping this may bring in more people to enjoy this piece of media!

Note: I haven't personally seen the musical live so I don't have my own clips. Hell, I only properly watched death note itself a bit over a month ago, but i really want to contribute to the fandom's archival work in some way with what I can. I do hope this can progress somewhat from the help of others in order to put this together for more people to enjoy it!

Thank you for reading. I'd appreciate any clip or audio, or sharing this around to someone who might. Cheers!

[castlebyersafterdark]

Or waking him up with a hand already on his cock, or mouth around him.

Ok this is something ive vaguely wondered about for a long time and never known how to broach cos im sure most people will say it's Just Fantasy. i see this somno idea presented in extreme ways and more casual, like this one you mentioned. im curious about it because my initial reaction on seeing this hc was - is this based on people's real experiences, or fantasies alone, or just hcs for the boys/fictional characters? or all? because issues of consent become a bit grey here. maybe im just thinking of women's experiences and how women's discomfort can be minimized in pop culture. perhaps its different in your experience, as a gay man or in gay culture.

i kind of get icky when i see people throwing the need for constant blatant verbal consent around because post-weinstein we've lost a lot of the sexiness and complicity of non-verbal communication and consent in sex. but my brain always thinks of those cases where the guy doesnt think its even possible to rape a girl if theyre married or in a relationship. so anything goes, and yes and no blur. ofc mike and will are in a loving relationship, but what happens if one of them wakes up and feels a bit weird about it, totally not in the mood or just had a totally different sleep experience and is thrown for a loop because the other has a mouth around them? would they always be able to recover and just say no and separate (physically) and be fine? im not sure.

idk its such a tricky one. maybe with byler theyve had conversations before where they're like its always ok to wake me up with a bj lol

This is a good one and I wondered if the question would ever come up because I know it's a controversial sex act / kink! Definitely onto something with some of it being in the realm of fantasy - but it is realistic for a lot of people as well. I'll offer my own perspective under the cut at the end like I usually do when I get too embarrassingly tmi/personal haha. But it's hard to explain this particular one without a real life perspective.

The consent aspect is a big part and one that's incredibly important in real life - but I'll personally admit when it comes to fanfic or just a simple HC post, there are certain aspects of fictional sex lives I just choose to gloss over and/or leave out. Because it is a bit of a fantasy world and a lot of assumptions are made. (Do yall know how many asks I get requesting details and preferences on the intricacies of anal sex prep? Yall. Suspension of disbelief. There's so many advice and sexual health articles out there to read up on if you're so curious, it's... implied. No offense to the curious mind, I appreciate the genuine approach, but I ain't including all that in a fic hahaha. ANYWAY)

i kind of get icky when i see people throwing the need for constant blatant verbal consent around because post-weinstein we've lost a lot of the sexiness and complicity of non-verbal communication and consent in sex.

I know exactly what you mean. And I don't know what goes on in most people's real sex lives, but in fanfic world, there can sometimes be a sort of "over-correction" when it comes to the way dialogue and consent is written. You just... gotta make it sound natural. So much reads like a sex ed pamphlet. There's a way to add consent and communication into the flow rather than a pause to deliver a PSA. Easier said that done, I know. It's important, but we don't have to treat what is fantasy and playing around with creativity as a manual for education every time. Real life... isn't A,B,C dialogue choices. Hard to explain, you know??? This isn't covering all the extreme kink explorations and all - which I don't really write so I'm not diving into that. There's an entirely different world out there regarding bdsm but it's not my world so I have little to offer in terms of conversation. As well as the cnc kink which is a whole other ballpark. Valid, but not the topic I'm including with this. This is more of a "light" version.

Gosh. Ok. Here is personal insight which kind of informs how I approach the topic of something like consent and especially a somno style sex act in realistic practice:

It definitely is very personality based - communication, trust, sex drive, what both partners are into. Goes along with the idea of "natural flow of conversation and sex" and really knowing your partner. So. We both know we're very comfortable with each other's bodies and in a well established relationship - we know each other's moods. This isn't something that's happening every day! Or even every week! An occasional indulgence. It's intimate, sharing a bed with someone long term. If you or your partner goes to bed exhausted or a bit upset or off-kilter from the day, feeling sick or just in an odd mood - obviously life just goes about normally. There are times though, when let's say... the night ended after a lot of sex, just a really intimate time and drifting off to sleep from a really passionate session and you know. Continuing in the next morning isn't hmm. Out of the ordinary. The vibes linger from falling asleep into waking again. It's hard to describe - sometimes blatantly spoken in the heat of passion when it's so good and you're still feeling greedy even before it's over ("I'd love to wake up to you fucking me") or something crazy. Or, you just know you'd both go another round before bed if you weren't so tired, so you pass out but whoever wakes up first may just get a head start and continue.

It's... a lot of just knowing your partner. Feeling comfortable to know if you wake up and oh, that's happening and you're not into it? You can just say "babe, I kinda want to just go back to sleep" and you know they'll ease off and let you be. Or, you wake up to a nice surprise and it's a shock at first, but you then relax and let it happen, or vice versa doing something to them. More often it's one of those instances more where you both wake up, very in the stirring strings of half awake, half asleep, and one partner is a little more awake and has the idea. And the half asleep one is like, oh? Sure! I'm just gonna drift though, you have fun. Go to town. It can be like that, too. This all feels very normal and within the flow of an established couple with a pretty active sex life. Just in my opinion.

I've read a lot of sex forums and kink forums because I'm curious about a lot of things! And sex is interesting to me beyond just titillation (using that one for another anon who adores the word haha), sometimes it's just fascinating research. I've read a lot of instances specifically with women, some are actually really into the practice and find it really hot to wake up to their partner either going down on them or starting to fuck them, when they're still sleeping. After conversations about it - there's the consent talk. Now, proceed. They'll wear a specific hair tie or bracelet when they go to sleep, signalling that they're looking for this sex act to happen if so desired. That's the communication, that's the greenlight. No bracelet - no touchy. I don't really practice anything like that because it's not like this is something we do often. It's an offhand comment, it's reading the vibe, it's the half asleep fumblings on a morning lie-in when one partner wakes up with the urge. So, all in all - there are different forms of communications rather than just sitting down the edge of the bed and turning to each other and blatantly spelling out every detail and shaking hands at the end before engaging with the session.

I know there are relationships that are very how do I say it - lifestyle kinksters? Where the master/sub (I don't like the other S word to be honest) have an agreement for whatever period of time is decided upon - where there's a "free use" understanding. They've consented to the initiation of sex whenever. Often including while asleep or half-asleep. But that's also an agreed upon form of consent where it's not long form discussed previous to each encounter. That's lifestyle kink, though. Not most people. Realistically, it's more... trust and understanding of who you're sharing your bed with. Are they into it? Can you tell when they won't be? There's no real rule book.

So when it comes it fiction - I think the idea is kind of implied it's a bit like what I've personally described? Even if not really detailed in the written prose. Not that consent isn't interesting or important - but at least my writing and the writing I like to read - I'm not looking for hyper-realism or education. And there's also great worth in reading/writing some stuff that's more controversial or not perfected romance - I just don't really dive into that myself. I'm very sappy romance and idealistic, to be honest. Just what I'm good at and prefer. ☺️😘

[heavens-sin]

Wanted to post a lil psa for my inactivity.

Triggering subjects under the cut.

Wont sugar coat anything and will go straight to the point instead of avoiding the the situation but I’ve been heavily reflecting, contemplating.. and been in a really bad mind space when I found out Tuesday night that a really close childhood friend of mine attempted to take his own life. He’s hospitalized but he’s alive. Which I’m relieved that he’s here but I’m still coping , processing everything. I almost lost him. And I don’t know how to feel. I almost feel lost and confused. The fact alone that I almost lost him hurts. It hurts more knowing he never told me anything when he usually reaching out to me when he needs someone to talk to. It fucking hurts me to the very core when I arrived and to see him in such a state. I dunno how to feel. I’m a fucking disaster right now. A mixture of anger, and all sorts of emotions. im pissed off at my self & I ’m blaming myself, I feel like I failed as a friend. I felt like I could’ve stopped this.

And to only add salt to the wound I’ve been getting messages from people who are just pestering me for replies and I don’t mind but normally I don’t mind since college has been keeping me busy but right now is not the fucking time. And it just shows that said people don’t really give a fuck about morals or anything of the sort and just want doffy interactions. I wont dwell on that for the sake of my mentality because I will pop a fuse and talk so much fucking shit at how fucking disrespectful that is. Not gonna elaborate any more and gonna block.

But I’m fine. I’ve been visiting him as often as I’m allowed to. He’s recovering slowly. And his recovery is what matters to me. That’s he’s still here with me. Though this whole experience made think about a lot and I want to add. Check on your friends and loved ones. Hug them. Cherish them. Tell them you love them. For you never know if that moment will be the last time you’ll ever see them.

Im gonna be returning to writing tomorrow. I need to pick it up again. And I want to share what I got commissioned <3 please take care of yourselves. Remember that I love you.

[shentheauthor]

Sigh.

General PSA:

IF YOU ARE A MINOR, AND YOU ENTER A CLEARLY MARKED, EXPLICITLY WARNED NSFW SPACE, THAT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

If you’re a kid, you shouldn’t be in adult spaces period, but if you decide to push that boundary, that is entirely on you. You are responsible for your own experience on the internet.

If an adult posts untagged, unmarked nsfw, that is their fault, and it’s distasteful if not downright disgusting. However, if an adult takes all the precautions— tagging nsfw, putting it under some sort of spoiler warning, putting it under a cut, etc— and YOU click on it anyway, it is NOT THE ADULT’S FAULT.

You do not get to police other people because YOU made the decision to ignore someone’s clear, explicit boundaries. Keep in mind that if an adult restricts who can see their content, that should be RESPECTED. It’s their boundary to keep and uphold, and even if you ignore the fact that YOU ARE A CHILD AND THEY ARE AN ADULT, it’s just downright rude to ignore someone’s boundaries like that.

Every adult’s tumblr, Twitter, any social media, is THEIR space to curate and tailor to what they want, just as every child’s is. Respect people’s boundaries. And if you’re a kid, DO NOT ENGAGE IN NSFW CONVERSATIONS. Not every adult is decent and willing to stop just because you’re a kid, and for your health and safety, it’s best to minimize risk as much as possible.

If you want to explore that content, fine. Don’t interact with adults in that context. And if said content upsets you (if it was tagged properly and you were informed before looking at it), it is NOT the adult’s problem. You chose to see it, you knew what you were going to see, you cannot be mad about it.

God. Sorry for the rant. I hope my point came across, but in case it didn’t:

TLDR: if you are a kid, DO NOT ENGAGE with adults in nsfw spaces. It makes everyone uncomfortable and puts you at risk for being taken advantage of, and no rational person wants that for you. If you choose to view adult content, and you knew what you were getting into, and it upsets you, it’s not the adult’s/artist’s/writer’s problem.

[cringecompanionapologist]

Cradle of the Snake Part 2: Adventures of the Mara!Doctor

So, I took a fuckton of screenshots for this and I had to cut it to just fifteen, most of them being Turlough and the Mara!Doctor. Time to overanalyze some dialogue!

When last we left our heroes, the Doctor was fully taken over by the Mara and is now trying to spread its influence to some of the locals. The script directions try to explain what the Mara is actually doing when it possesses someone:

So, Mara!Doctor is supposed to be the dark side of the Doctor? Mara!Doctor is mostly just Obviously Evil in general, so I don't really know what this means here. Hopefully, we'll find out as we go.

Mara!Doctor tries to turn Tegan against Nyssa. This has no strategic benefit for it. The Mara is Chaotic Evil and just wants to cause more problems.

Mara!Doctor shoos Tegan away and then uses the Mark of the Snake to traumatize the cab driver. But, the cab driver's not important, so he doesn't get possessed.

The Mara specifically wants this entertainer/mad scientist named Rick to join him, but he has to get through the boy working for him, Baala. It doesn't work because Baala is special, as we'll learn later.

The Mara looks for some Darkest Dreams to close in on, but he's got nothing and has to take a break from recruiting the locals.

Meanwhile, Dadda, a sort of snakecharmer priest, uses his evil-detecting snake on the Doctor's companions to clarify that none of them are under the Mara's influence at this moment in time. Something was up with Tegan, but it's gone now, Nyssa is fine, and Turlough apparently gave Dadda some bad vibes but the snake is cool with him.

Turlough is sent to look for the Doctor, giving me something better to do than just recap the plot with a few screenshots thrown in. There's no particular reason Turlough had to be the one that left. It could've just as easily have been Tegan or Nyssa who left to search for the Doctor, so the Mara would've had to have been ready for any of them. Mara!Doctor was watching the whole snake thing at a safe distance, since the snake would sense evil on him.

I must once again emphasize that Mara!Doctor is Obviously Evil. There is something obviously wrong here. His voice and speech patterns are different. There's something really obviously "off" about him, that none of his companions seem able to immediately identify. Tegan thought he was acting weird earlier, but in a "in a bit of a bad mood" sense that was easy to dismiss. Turlough doesn't even notice that.

This leads into the reoccurring theme of temptation with the Mara. Mara!Doctor suggests that Turlough forget about Nyssa and Tegan and go have some fun at the fair instead. It's a very "Sunday School PSA" sort of temptation. "Ditch your responsibilities and go have fun instead".

The Mara!Doctor, while still being Obviously Evil and Not the Doctor, actually does manipulate Turlough here by singling him out. The Doctor's being secretive and Only Turlough Knows, because he can keep a secret, right? Turlough's not usually the trusted confidant, so this is a positive change. The Doctor trusts him. After all the Black Guardian stuff, Turlough wants to be trusted.

So, Turlough is worn down by this special attention he's getting. The Doctor wants him to be involved in Secret Business that the girls aren't in on and now they're going to spend some quality time together at the fair.

So, we're off to the fair! The Doctor wins a carnival game, but he still believes the game was rigged against him and gets upset, even though he won.

As for the Doctor's Dark Side, this feels like a petty version of the Doctor's sense of justice. This is unfair so it has to be stopped. He also brags about how clever he is. Five's one of the less arrogant Doctors, but the Doctor commenting on his own intelligence isn't exactly uncommon.

I would love to know what kind of Giant Cuddly alien animal that toy is. For some reason my own mental image of it is off an octopus. It can cuddle you back, I guess. I'm weird.

Mara!Doctor casually hands the prize off to Turlough, who doesn't act like he's carrying a giant stuffed animal throughout the rest of the story, so he most likely abandoned it somewhere. I would be mad about the stuffed animal neglect, but there's too much going on here to stop for that. I hope someone gave it a home.

Mara!Doctor looks for more problems to cause and Turlough tries to keep up. He goes on a bit of an evil rant.

Turlough's response to just being asked what he wants is interesting. "I thought this was our night on the town". Mara!Doctor asking Turlough what he wants isn't a contradiction of it being their night on the town. It could even be interpreted as "What do you want to do next?" or "Want me to buy you something?". From Mara!Doctor's tone, he clearly means it in a more "tell me all your hopes and dreams" sense, but it's still an odd response. What Turlough wants and this being their night out are correlated.

This night out, this quality time with the Doctor, was what Turlough wanted. Now he has it, but it's all wrong, because it's not really the Doctor he's out with.

Turlough falls back on having learned to accept things. And the words in context with his last line feel like "It turns out that what I want is impossible, but I'm settling for what you'll give me."

The Doctor, as himself, taught Turlough to be thankful for what he has, but this whole experience being such a let down means that the Mara!Doctor has also taught him that he's never going to get what he wants, the Doctor's trust and undivided attention, and he just accept that. At least the Doctor is part of his life.

Mara!Doctor is still in Evil Rant Mode, but the script directions here are kind of funny:

Turlough is embarrassed. You'd think he'd be scared by how obviously wrong this is, or concerned because there's something wrong with the Doctor, but he's embarrassed. The Doctor's antics are ruining their date and attracting attention from strangers.

By this point, Tegan and Nyssa, with Dadda's help, have figured out that the Doctor is possessed and Turlough's alone with him. It's quickly assumed that Turlough's been possessed too, which isn't surprising. It's not even an unfair assumption. The Mara has been going around possessing everyone with a name. Why wouldn't it possess Turlough, especially if it's already possessed the Doctor, someone Turlough would be easily persuaded by and comfortable getting close to.

The Mara hasn't possessed Turlough yet because it would actually break a pattern. The attempt to possess Nyssa through Tegan was when they were alone in their bedroom. Kerrem was possessed while alone with the Doctor in his office. The Mara doesn't seem to strike in public places. Kerrem screamed when he was possessed, so it would obviously attract attention. The entire time Mara!Doctor's been with Turlough, they've been at a crowded fairground. The Mara is waiting until they're alone...

This happens at the abandoned studio where the Mara hopes to continue its plan for world domination, just bringing Turlough along for the ride. By this point, Turlough has either realized that something's very wrong or is just done with all this bullshit and wants out.

But, in the abandoned studio, they're alone now. So the Mara can actually try to possess Turlough, which would definitely prevent him from leaving.

Turlough saw the Mark of the Snake on Tegan's arm and should know that it's associated with the Mara, but he probably never expected to see the Doctor be possessed. He's the Big Good of the universe in Turlough's mind. He protected him for the Black Guardian, basically the Devil. The Mara couldn't possibly be more powerful than that!

Turlough's "I don't know" is similar to his "well" before deciding to go to the fair. He's actually being convinced, more by the Hypnotic Evil Power of the Mara than by anything that's being said. But, it's also the Doctor offering Wealth and Power here...

But, they get interrupted and the Mara!Doctor pulls Turlough into a nearby warehouse.

Turlough is sort of tempted by the Mara's offer, even after everything else that's happened. We're also back to the double entendre with Nyssa and Tegan in part 1. They're alone together, one of them removes some of their clothing and offers the other basically whatever they want. It stood out with Nyssa and Tegan because it happened in a bedroom. It stands out here because Mara!Doctor took Turlough on a date first. So, if this was a sexual offering, Turlough would totally be up for it, but Mara!Doctor is being too rough with him. Not being a gentleman, just leading him to an abandoned building and grabbing him like that! In his "darkest dreams" it was way more romantic. Worst. Date. Ever.

Okay, I've had my fun.

Anyway, Mara!Doctor locks Turlough in a stall. He has to meet with Rick now, so he doesn't have time to possess Turlough. He can't bring non-possessed Turlough along to the meeting, because he might hinder his plans in some way. But, he can't risk Turlough escaping and tattling to Nyssa and Tegan either. So, he has to lock him up somewhere.

The Mara!Doctor hurt Turlough. Turlough thought the Doctor would never hurt him. He trusted him. This is when he starts to get really scared.