#there's a PSA of sorts under the cut

[cerriddwenluna]

writer asks: 16, 24, & 25 :p

*cracks knuckles* Alright, lets do this! <3

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of (yes, I'm switching them round cause this deserves to be above the cut ;))

It's an excerpt from my very first published fic Wild Rose, which is still the most honest and raw fiction I have ever written (Note: This is NOT talking about Kurt or Blaine, I could never kill my darlings ;))

“It is going to take time. It has only been a few weeks since our world got turned upside down. We are going to cry and scream and shout and want to break things and not get out of bed some days. And we will let ourselves take that time to grieve the loss of such a vital part of ourselves. We will feel it all, and then, in time, we will learn to deal. We will keep living. We will grieve and grow and miss you forever, but we will live.”

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Rachel fucking Berry. That damn girl represents every single bully that ever made my life a living hell and I really, really wish I could just despise her but she is so goddamn useful that she somehow keeps sneaking her way into almost everything I write, and not even as a villain... -.-

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

The answer is under the cut 'cause I get semi graphic and long winded in the second part because I don't do taboo subjects. You enter at your own risk lol

The irony (yes, I know this is not the definition of that word. Blame Alanis Morissette.) of you asking me this after we spent way too long google streetviewing the highway between Scarsdale and Bushwick yesterday, just to see what the toll gate looked like, is not lost on me. Especially not considering I then went off and followed that entire route past the plethora of graveyards into Bushwick proper and tried in vain to find any building that looked like it could hold the Loft, while you were off actually being a 'sponsible adult xD

But for a serious answer, I research everything I can (even if it is really not necessary), but the most revelatory one was butt sex. As a cis woman who has no practical experience with gay butt sex, I went off into the deep end, and to my great surprise I discovered that the whole concept of 'stretching' as portrayed in some fiction is actually quite unnecessary. Imagine you are massively constipated and you are passing a truly ginormous log. Would you stretch out your anal muscles first? No! The way these muscles are designed means that they can relax and contract as and when necessary (i.e. pooping), which means that the whole 'stretching' is really quite obsolete. A thing that can be necessary, especially when dealing with a partner with limited anal experience, is to get them comfortable and relaxed which in turn means the muscles will give way easier. Despite the pleasure points located in the rectum and anal passage, it is not actually designed for things to be shoved up there, so it is completely normal to need a period of adjustment, just like with any other muscle group that is having to perform in a way they are not used to. So what actually happens when the receiving partner gets 'stretched' is that the muscles are being given an intrusion to respond to, and they will tighten when tense, but loosen when relax. An experienced bottoming partner's muscles will give way much easier because the body has learned it to be a pleasant experience, but someone who is relatively new to anal sex (or someone who is just really tense) would need to learn to relax around the intrusion. And the way to do that is not by scissoring your fingers to force the muscles apart (nevermind the strength you'd need in your fingers for that), but by making sure your partner is relaxed and comfortable. Just sticking a finger in there and gently moving it back and forth will do just fine. Also, you don't need your whole hand up there to reach the prostate, honestly. Note: You're usually better off building up to full penetration when inexperienced, especially when your partner has a massive schlong like so many fics write either Kurt or Blaine, or both, as having. It is never supposed to hurt! Note 2: I feel this might be a bit redundant too, but LUBE IS OUR FRIEND! And more importantly: SPIT IS NOT GOOD LUBE! Just to cover my own ass here, I don't actually claim to be an expert on this. Yes, there are always exceptions, there is no one size fits all, yadda yadda yadda :P

tl;dr... Butt sex, my friends. Butt sex. Oh, and also anal/penile sex toys and gay male sex positions, for funsies.

[chiquilines]

Hi guysssssss its been a minute

I havent posted in a hot while due toooo many things one of which being im not that much into mha anymore... i still really really love all my girls, tgchk mmjr midjoke miryumi etc still hold a dear place in my heart, and I'm gonna keep drawing them, just less. I might start posting more art from different media, but regardless im not gonna be able to post much in the coming months cause I am about to have a very very busy time academically, so Im gonna have less time for drawing :( anyways, thanks to everyone whos been liking my my hero art, it means a lot to me and i appreciate everyone who takes the time to look at my silly self endulging wlw!! This isnt a goodbye btw, im just taking the opportunity to be sappy :) see yall in the next post!!

[jellymish-art]

IT IS HAPPENING LADS!! SAM VIMES COSPLAY!!

I've dreamed of doing this for years and now that I've finally gained the Secret Knowledge of Foam Armour, I can finally go for it!

Jokes aside, I asked a couple of cosplay pros for advice at the last con and they were all super nice & answered every single one of my questions, in detail!

So far the breastplate, backplate and badge are done and I'm super happy. Detailed process under the cut!

How it went:

First, the pattern! Shoutout to the guys at cosplay-atelier for the recommendation. They pointed me to kamuicosplay, because they sell downloadable patterns for all sorts of things, including armour. Which is how I got to this:

Downloaded two of their breastplate patterns, smooshed them together and altered them to fit my body and the look I wanted. I did all of that with thick paper. Then I took it apart again and traced the bits onto 5mm EVA foam that I ordered from a cosplay store.

Then I numbered and cut all the pieces and glued them together! I used hot glue, cause it's more accessible and less intimidating for me than other types of glue. It isn't as strong as other recommended glues, but works fine for me. (used many pointers from this tutorial.)

However, safety point: I've seen it recommended to wear breathing protection when heating up foam in any way whatsoever, and that includes hot glue, heat shaping and heat sealing. Use a respirator or other breathing protection that is made specifically for chemical fumes & work outside or in a well ventilated area (i.e. open ALL the windows)! Ask at your local hardware store if you're unsure.

PSA over. Now to the painting stage!

The scratches I made with my fingernails and the tip of a pair of scissors. XD Then I covered everything in 2 layers of black flexipaint (which is a water-based flexible paint/primer that works really well on foam). After that, I worked with regular artist's acrylic paint. Above you can see the first layer being applied with dry-brushing.

Then I went over it with a dark brown wash to make it look dirty (mix black & brown acrylic paint with water & apply liberally)

Then I went over it again with bronze by applying the paint with my fingers, wearing a plastic glove. (Same tutorial as before.) making sure I don't get any paint in the scratches. And then finally, another dark brown wash to make it all look nicely weathered. I did accidentally remove some paint by going over it too often with the wash, but it wasn't too hard to fix.

And this is the costume test, after adding velcro! It's really easy to put on and take off. I'm a bit worried about the velcro on the sides, but I can always add straps on the outside if it doesn't hold up.

Next was the badge:

I referenced a pin badge that came out as a collectible a few years ago (sadly out of stock), cause I love the design! Carved in the letters and lines by drawing on it with a ballpoint pen and applying a lot of pressure. Then painted it with the same process as the breastplate, just with copper instead of bronze.

And just for funsies: here's the back of the breastplate in all its glorious mess XD

On the right side you can see how I attached the badge: By cutting a slit through the breastplate and making a velcro attachment. That way I can remove the badge and add, say, a sprig of lilac, should my fancy take me there. Reason being that our biggest con is in May.

If you know, you know.

Annnnd here it is; the finished breastplate with badge:

I'm honestly having the time of my life. It's a super fun project and I am very excited to see how it turns out! I'm already working on the cape with a good friend of mine (I despise sewing, she loves it XD) and have materials on the way to make some bits of chainmail.

[ineedjesusverymuch]

Diabolik lovers headcanons pt. 3 (even more stuff)

Hi, it's been a while, no? Even though I feel a bit like I'm screaming into an empty void, I do enjoy writing my thoughts down.

The Diabolik Lovers fandom gets smaller and smaller and since just a few blogs are active, I wanted to post more! I know that without Rejet producing more content (that is canon and not "just" new merchlines, even though I deeply love the art), the dl fandom is bound to shrink. But: now, there are a lot of very respectful blogs, which I do enjoy! The toxicity just shrinks a lot on smaller fandoms. And I really love that no slander of Yui is happening!

Now, lets get into the headcanons after my short ramble.

I won't write anything nsfw this time, just a quick psa.

⚠ I'll try to mark anything that could be triggering with this: ❗trigger warning ❗

⚠This post will briefly discuss topics like: parental trauma and childhood trauma.⚠

The topics in this post will be mostly happy or cute (?), asks are always appreciated!

As always, I'll try to be at least a bit true to canon. But... Well.

this time I did not just ramble about Kanato, I think I talked about Laito quite a bit though...

Headcanons under the cut ⬇

First of all: Shu.

Genuinely loves dogs (remember the scene with Yuma? The little puppy? Yes.)

All fluffy dogs are loved, just as all other dogs.

Loveslovesloves Golden retrievers and sheperd dogs. Likes big dogs a bit more than small dogs, more to hug.

Deeply hates toads. Not frogs, toads. He thinks they're quite ugly and hates how big they can get

Shu is Not dumb but being a little fuck by not-obeying-karlheinz's-orders-like-being-good-in-school

Has only socks with terrible obnoxious patterns, like the weirdest psychedelic shit? I'm talking about rainbow colored mushrooms on sunyellow backdrop and comical faces. (Ngl, it's a vibe)

Huuuuge crush on Yuma. He likes his long hair and the fact that Yuma doesn't try to lie to him. Shu likes honest people and Yuma with his blunt approach is amazing for him. Also, he is convinced that Yuma is very simple to understand, nit at all complicated like some other people.

Next in Line is Reiji! What a surprise.

Has a huge collection of Hand cream and lotion. He has those long, slim fingers and his nails are manicured so impeccable that they don't even look real anymore.

Wears only black socks. Its a hassle to sort them since some of them have different lengths or fabrics

Has pet rats. Definitely pet rats.

They're cute and all but he's named ever single one outrageous names like Berthold and Brunhilde, the typical old german names you'd read in very old books.

Reiji Is able to speak not only german, japanese and the demon language but can also speak latin (even though shu is on a much higher level), a bit of French and russian.

Would be the type to do things simply out of sprite. Shu once mentioned not liking blue curtains and now all curtains are blue.

Has an academic rivalry with Ruki. All the other students (including Ruki) think they're flirting, only Reiji is oblivious.

Next: our boy Ayato!

Hates bees with a passion.

Kanato once "gifted" him a box of bees out of spite (the little shit put the whole bee hive in that box), ever since then Ayato runs as soon as humming from a bee can be heard in a ten mile ratio. (Being outside is very exhausting for everyone, himself included)

Very much enjoys shows like Brigderton and say yes to the dress. Loves the drama and the intrigue.

Ayato actually? Doesn't hate his brothers??? He likes to bicker with them, especially his other triplets, but genuinely cares about them. He's just a bit too emotionally stunted on that front (thank you cordelia).

Likes not only takoyaki but also any type of japanese festival food. I'm talking about mochi, dango and tayaki, etc.

the type to have lactose intolerance and ignore it completely to seem "cool"

went on an ice cream date with Yui once and spent the entire night in the bathroom because he was too proud to say no

Actually wears makeup? I'm not talking about full-on glam but a bit concealer and eyeliner. Ayato has red mascara and omfg he looks so good with it???

Laito and he enjoy playing those multiplayer games for nintendo

He has an entire village on animal crossing that is managed by him and Laito together

Next in line: Kanato!

I have made quite long posts about him in the past so I wont elaborate on some things that I already wrote down.

Very skilled at makeup. Like top-level skill. Wears eyeliner, liptint or gloss and glitter under and on his eyes. Light blush is a must-have!

Can crochet and knit but is often too impatient to make bigger projects

Will hyperfocus on things like historical fashion and garments for weeks at a time.

Once was so focused on the black plague that he didn't drink blood for like five weeks and passed out until he was fed some blood

Gremlin.

Has a friendship with Yuma? They plant plants together and since Kanato (canonically) likes apples, Yuma will bring him some after plucking.

Kanato enjoys tea time with Reiji

Kanato also likes to gossip with Laito. Or more like: Laito gossips and Kanato sits next to him and munches on some sweets.

Huge crush on Azusa. (I went into more detail on that in earlier posts but I'll answer any questions on that matter! Feel free to send me asks or prompts!)

He and Ayato have both the same interest for old fairy tales and will read them together on those nights were everything just comes up again

❗Laito will comfort him when Kanato has nightmares and Kanato will be there for Laito, since they went through a bit if the same things even though Laito's was much more intense

Cuddle time with Shu

Quiet time with Subaru

Now Laito!

Can speak a fuckton of languages.

I don't care if its canon but Laito is like B2 Level of French. Is able to discuss theological matters is perfect french.

Can also speak italian like all the triplets but he's also able to speak a bit german, polish and romanian

Friends with Kou! ❗They're really good ffriends and can understand what the other went though. Laito stays often over night at Kou's and they spend the night watching funny movies (Deadpool is Laitos current favourite)

Laito enjoys comics. He likes Marvel and DC a lot!

We know that Laito likes crossword puzzles but like. He's so good at them it's almost frightening. Is able to not only do japanese ones but also french.

So intelligent???

Not only booksmart but also "people smart". He notices the smallest things on people around him, constantly analizes everyone. Knows a lot about medicine and psychology.

Loves learning new things.

Has immense knowledge about the universe, is able to name every single star sign on the sky.

in the games we often see Laito wear casual clothing. My headcanon is that he likes the sort of style skaters usually wear.

Really likes cargo pants since everything fits in all of the pockets

Wears oversized hoodies and shirts

Has those two piercings on his left earlobe but also has a lip piercing on the right lower lip and a septum that he got when he was bored

As soon as he's alone, he let's the perverted fassade fall down. He doesn't smile a lot actually, more along the lines of a serious face most of the time.

It took a bit for him to be able to drop that fake face of his in front of Kou and his other triplets but after some time he got used to not fake being friendly and perverted.

Dropped the infamous "bitch-chan" after some time, now uses Yui's actual name. The -chan stayed though.

Last but not least: Subaru!

has very soft plushies in his coffin

Loves those tiny fluffy bunnies. Lionheads especially!

Very gentle with animals.

Animals love him (#disneyprincesssubaru)

once tried to color his hair, it went horrible and his hair was a patchy muddy color for eight weeks

Wears eyeliner. The black, brush-tip ones

Long eyelashes. They genuinely look fake.

So pretty

Is naturally more fair and frail-looking than some other vampires so he tries to roughen himself up

❗Bruises his knuckles and bites his lips to look more dangerous. Even though the scowl he usually wears is more than enough to ward off anyone who wants to pick a fight...

Also friends with Kou (Kou really collects Sakamakis like pokemons)

Wears black nail polish but it chips off pretty fast due to the gardening Subaru does

Bonding time with Kanato is applying nail polish together

Enjoys playing pool and darts with Shu when his older brother has enough motivation

Knows he is fucked up from all the stuff with his mother and wouldn't be opposed to therapy (at least after some sweet talk from Yui... And a whole lot of promises for new seeds for his garden and a new set of black clothes)

Has a motor bike and it's his entire pride

Polishes it every week and has a lot of clothes for biking

Takes trips to somewhere when he's bored and/or annoyed by his other brothers

does not realize that Kou flirts with him every time they do something together (obliviousness lies in the family)

So! That's it? I guess? Sometime in the future I'll write about the Mukamis too, I promise!

If there's anything you'd like me to write about, just send me an ask.

And to whoever reads this: I appreciate the time you took to read my post and I hope you have an amazing day/night !

you are truly appreciated!

[changisworld]

Kisses & Ribbons

What better day to write my first Hyunjin one-shot than on Valentines day <3

MDNI, OBVIOUS 18+, Smut warnings under the cut.

Word count; 2,301

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

PSA FOR ASKS/REQUESTS: i WILL get around to posting everyone’s requests i’m just sorry if it takes a bit of time but whatever you request i’ll post it!! IM ALSO MAKING AN ANON LIST!! just send me anything & tell me what emoji u wanna be!<3

Any reblogs/ Comments are deeply appreciated<3 This is just complete smut with literally no plot.

main masterlist here

SMUT WARNINGS: Marking{f receive} Shibari, PIV, Use of vibrator, lots of praise, a few spanks, spit, creampie, lovemaking, quite fluffy, aftercare, oral {f receive}, experimenting, mention of safe word but not used, flavoured lube, subspace, multiple orgasms,

++ Hyunjin & Reader are married, non idol au, Hyunjin is still a hopeless romantic because DUHH.

You & Hyunjin are just back from a live Jazz music restaurant where you had both decided to spend valentines day, eating delicious food & slow dancing to the music surrounding you but cancelling out as you enjoy the closeness of your husband.

You both practically tumble through the door already kissing eachothers lips, his feeling like mini pillows against your own. You take off his long cream coloured coat & he takes off your matching one.

You both somehow make it to the bedroom before he softly places you on the bed, him following after you & his stomach on your chest, keeping his weight on his elbows & hands before breaking the kiss. "You still up for trying what we discussed, beautiful?" he asks, stroking your hair softly as his eyes glisten. You smile at him & lean up to kiss his nose & you let out an affirmative hum. "of course, i've been thinking about it ever since you mentioned it hunny" you say in a quiet voice, cheeks blushing. Hyunjin hums back at you & he disconnects himself from you, now standing up as he walks over to your shared wardrobe as he fishes out a red velvet box.

He walks over & places it on the bed, not opening it but instead looks back at you. "why not you get undressed for me baby, hmm?" He asks, his ears red & yours equally so. You undo your beige blouse & hyunjin settles himself behind you, helping you wiggle out of your black skirt & tights, kissing your shoulder & back of your neck as he does so.

Hyunjin takes his clothes off too after setting you back down on the bed, leaving him completely bare & you in your red lace thong & matching panties. Hyunjin crawls over you & begins kissing you, his knee in-between your core, your hands reach up to cup his cheeks as you subconsciously begin slowly grinding against his thigh, seeking friction. "You that desperate already baby?" he asks you, hand reaching to your core & cups it. "We can start now then pretty, as stunning as you look in this set, do you mind taking it off for me hm?" he asks you as he lifts himself off of you to reach for the red box still sitting unopened on the bed.

You wriggle your thong off your skin & unclasp your lace bra, your nipples getting hard instantly at the slight temperature change since the material has now came off. Hyunjin opens the box & pulls out a set of red rope with some pieces of ribbon still laying in the box. Your breath hitches slightly as your stomach gets butterflies looking at hyunjin, your husband, holding the rope in his hands. "Can touch it? I wanna feel it." You ask, holding your hand out, he hums & holds the rope out so you can take it as he sits down next to you.

"Are you definitely are you wanna do this sweetie? We don't need to if you're having any sort of second thoughts." Hyunjin says softly, taking the rope back off you as he leans in to your neck & gives your earlobe a couple of kisses. "Of course i want to, you know i'll tell you if i change my mind babe" you reply, eyes closing to fully take in how nice his kisses feel. Hyunjiin hums again & pulls away from your neck, your back shivering at the loss of contact.

"Okay, do you remember the safe word y/n? You can use it any time.. of course." His voice soft in tone, now straightening out the rope in his hands. "red. I won't forget." You blush as you watch hyunjins veiny hands feeling the rope. He smiles back.

"Okay baby, lie down for me for me please." You don't even think twice before crawling up so your head is on the pillows, hyunjin following behind.

Hyunjin begins tying the red rope around each of your limbs & torso, creating chriss-crosses in-between your tits, slightly pinching them before slightly manhandling you, flipping you on your back to finish the ties, kissing each inch of skin he covers. By the end, your hands are tied to your stomach, immobile, your legs connected to your hands so you're in a mating press & you have rope on the very insides of your thighs, causing a slight pinch & burn on your outer flaps. He grabs the ribbons that were still inside the box & ties them to your knees, one above your pussy & the other one on the bits of rope that cross over in-between your breasts.

Hyunjin finishes tying you up before standing up to admire hiss work & also to admire you. "Does anything pinch or hurt more than it should?" He questions, finger stroking your leg. "No, i'm fine to continue hunny." you reply, showing him a smile.

Hyunjin walks over to the bedside table beside you & pulls out some strawberry flavoured lube & a small bullet vibrator. He kisses you from the side which you gladly reciprocate, feeling extra needy. He walks around & crawls up the bed so his face is now at your now dripping cunt. "Look how wet you are jagi, my mouth is watering even looking at it.already swollen, your clit is peeking through already." He shoots you a smile & you blush instantly, getting a bit shy.

He flicks open the small bottle of flavoured lube & lets a few droplets drip onto your cunt which makes you flinch but the rope makes it impossible to move away. He opens his tongue & puts a bit of the lube on it before he moves down & takes a long, slow lick the entire way up your core, making you gasp as he lets out a groan. He pulls back to spit onto your core. "I don't know why i ate dessert earlier when i knew this can't be compared to anything on any menu in the world. Pussy is so plump & swollen because of the rope isn't it? You enjoy it this much hmm?"" He hums out, looking at you with his cat eyes. "Feels so good jinnie, don't stop, please." You tilt your head sideways to avoid the eye contact, getting shy of the position & helpless position you're currently in but he is quick to tug at one of the ropes up at your tits, making you jolt & you look back in his direction, eyes slightly watery from the burn. "Don't get all shy on me now, we're just getting started." He doesn't give you a chance to reply before he basically dives back into your folds.

He begins slurping, nibbling, kissing & straight up moans into your core which obviously sends vibrations to your clit, making you whine out even louder than hyunjins noises. He adds a finger into your wet walls & that tip you over the edge instantly, your legs try their best to shake despite the rope keeping you set in place as you come undone all down his fingers & tongue. You open your eyes as you come down from your high & realise hyunjin has been giving you kisses & sucking dark marks onto them while he waits. "Ji-jinnie need you, p-please" you pant out, still trying to catch your breath & tugging against the ropes holding your arms. "Soon, y/n, be patient. I'm not quite full yet mkay? let me show you how much i love you." you can't help but get butterflies in your stomach, despite being together for so long now.

You open your mouth to reply but the words get caught in your throat as he dives straight back into your cunt, letting his nose nudge against your clit repeatedly as his tongue now makes its way inside you, making you practically squeal. You try your best to jolt your hips away but also closer to his face at the same time, you don't even acknowledge the now buzzing vibrator now making noise until it presses against your completely ruined clit which makes you quite literally scream. "J-jin-baby too-too much!" you say, tugging against your ropes, to no use.

Hyunjin doesn't reply verbally as he now releases his tongue from your hole, your juices dripping off his tongue onto the bedsheets, joining the huge wet patch already formed on the bedsheets with the lube, spit & your juices. He drags the vibrator down from your clit & inserts it inside you as he now suctions his lips back onto your clit & begins wiggling his tongue & spitting his saliva all over your clit as he swears he can feel your clits heartbeat, at the same time he begins grinding his naked cock against the bed, getting some friction & stopping his movements every time he feels himself getting close. You are thrashing around, eyes watering & drool leaving your mouth, leaving you in a complete babbling mess.

Your next orgasm hits you before you can even warn him.. your orgasm making itself known by spraying all over the bedsheets, hyunjins face & in his mouth. He unlatches himself as you're legs are shaking uncontrollably & he smacks your thighs & red raw pussy, making you scream even more.

Hyunjin takes his breath back as he rests on his knees, looking at the state you're currently in, sweaty, drool everywhere, tears staining your cheeks, skin all red from where the rope has been rubbing against it, leaving marks he will be appreciating even after tonight & your cunt, red, pulsating & 1.5x the size it usually is.

He crawls up the bed so he is beside you,face still covered & glistening in your juices & rests his head on his hand as he grips your jaw to make you look at him. "You already floating hm? That's way faster than usual.. new record, you still wanna continue?" He asks, fingers still holding onto your jaw as he slithers his thumb into your mouth & you let him, tongue circling it slowly as you nod at his words, giving him the go-ahead.

Hyunjin gets off the bed before walking around to your side of the bed & he pulls you so your ass is against the edge of the bed & your head is in the middle. He drags his cock up & down your folds because he can't help but be addicted to the way you slightly gasp at his touch but too far in your own world to even properly react or flinch.

He spits onto his cock to lube it up that extra bit & then pulls out the vibrator, completely soaking wet as he turns it off & lays it on the bed. He pumps his cock once then lines it up to your folds before slowly pushing in.

He lets out a loud groan as his eyes snap shut & his head rises up to face the ceiling, trying his best to not blow instantly. He looks down at you to already see you looking at him, mouth slightly open as your eyebrows are slightly frowned, making faint noises. He thrusts into you slowly, both of you making noises, his much louder than yours, He wants.. needs to be closer to you so he unties your legs from where they're connected & he spreads them enough so he can lie forward, chests connecting as he begins kissing down your neck, whispering things in your ear. "so good for me hunny, trusting me like this.. you are the most beautiful person.. thing, in this entire existence, you.. feel s-so amazing my love, g'na cum in your..my pussy mkay?ffuck." He raises himself off your chest & stands back up, moving his now damp, sweat drenched hair out of his also sweat covered face.

He reaches down to tug on the rope against your tits again, dragging red marks into your flesh which makes him whine even more just simply at the sight. Your eyes are completely glossy as your tongue is rolling out of your mouth & your babbling incoherent words. Hyunjin reaches down to play with your clit again & you let out a choked louder whine at the feeling, twitching as you clamp around hyunjins dick as you come again, even stronger than the previous ones if that's even possible which makes Hyunjins hips stutter.

"cummin' around me b-baby? g-g-d you're a w-w-work of art, my own muse, gna cum, t-t-you feel too good." He grunts as he leans into you again, stroking your cheek & your hair s he cums inside you, biting down on his pink plump lips as his own orgasm shoots through his veins.

You both stay in this position for a few minutes, heavy breathing & little whimpers filling the room. Hyunjin uses the rest of his strength to pick himself up again & he begins untying you from the rope, kissing all of the red marks & soothing them with his fingers. He leans up & kisses your lips & tip of your nose before he grabs a damp towel he set on the dresser before the scene started & slowly wipes your cunt, cleaning it up & trying to help calm down some of the swelling.

He positions you back up so your head is on the pillows & comes up & lies next to you as he gets the bottle of water he had left in the bedroom & opens it & holds it to your lips. "cmon baba, you gotta drink this, hm? this took a lot out of you" he whispers in your ear, you don't reply but you part your lips for him to feed you some water which you swallow. He places the water bottle back on the bedside table & he cuddles into you, surrounding you in his warmth as he kisses all possible areas he can reach of you. "Happpy valentines day, my love" he says, kissing your earlobe, admiring you as your eyes shut, breathing now calming down as you nuzzle yourself in his chest, skin on skin as you're both still lying naked, no noise in the room except the clock ticking & your breathing.

[azula-brain]

PSA: Just a heads up that @longing-for-rain has been passing off AI art as art that they have made themselves. Which is a slight problem when you have a tip jar and no disclaimer.

This is just a general FYI do not harass them please.

Under the cut is just proof.

The first thing that ticked me off was the wildly differing art styles all posted under one artist, here's some examples:

The last one's hand is also a dead give away

The most obvious sign however is that this artist has had an impressive development of their skill over a short period of time.

Here is an example of what they were posting before

The second one was posted in May 2023

And then in just under four months they were posting art like this

Some of this stuff has gotten really popular. To be fair numbers like this are not a regular occurrence, but averaging over 100 notes is still a fair bit of people thinking they're seeing someones hard work.

This would be a different story if they put any sort of disclaimer anywhere on their blog . I only felt the need to make this PSA because they allow tips and I think you should be transparent with people when money gets involved.

Now because I know what site we're all on: please please please please don't be an asshole and harass this person. If you are upset, just refrain from engaging with their posts.

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Don’t Chase the Dead

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Commonwealth Era post 11x24

Warnings: Typical TWD violence, descriptions of injuries

Summary: You and Daryl find yourselves in a battle for survival after the archer leads you into danger in a attempt to absolve him of his guilt.

Prompt: "Being in love is not a weakness, you know"

A/N: You can find the request from @alldevilsarehere90 here. Finally finished this beast! It really got away from me and I ended up moving all sorts of things around before I was even remotely happy with it. I’m sorry it took so long!

PSA: I think I should let it be known that (if you haven’t noticed) I really like to beat up on our boy. There’s just something about an injured Daryl that I love. Probably won’t veer from that anytime soon.

*gif is not mine

They were all dead. Every last one of the men that had murdered a young boy from the Commonwealth. Only you and Daryl were left standing. 

Metaphorically speaking. 

You stared at an arrow from the enemy’s quiver, inspecting it before letting it fall to the ground. 

“Ya know—whatcha gotta—do, Y/N.” 

You were already shaking your head before the first word had left Daryl’s bloody lips. The arrowhead in his left thigh was barbed. If you tried to pull it out, it would mercilessly tear through muscle and flesh, doing much more damage and leaving a wound that would bleed freely while requiring more than stitches. The one pull Daryl had given it was enough to put him on his ass. He was right, and that made you feel nauseous. 

“I don’t know if I can.” Your bottom lip quivered. Tears fell unchecked. Your own upper arm ached but the bullet had only managed a decent graze. “What if it hit an artery? What if I make it hit an artery?”

Daryl’s eyes scanned the area around you, always on guard. The man who had shot him had been dealt with quickly, the last of the enemies to have fallen by a bullet you fired. The shots would attract walkers. 

“Do you think you can walk if you lean on me?” You asked. Your voice raised slightly with a hint of hope. “We can get you back to the Commonwealth, to the hospital.”

“Y/N.” The archer was calm, tired. He laid his head back against the wall, looking down his nose at you. “Y’know I—l can’t.”

You cursed under your breath, staring at the protruding wooden shaft. Once again, he was right. Even if you bound the wound to the best of your ability, the likelihood of it shifting and tearing inside was tremendous. “Okay. We have to be fast. We can’t stay here much longer.” You undid your belt and looked around you for a safe place for when things inevitably went south. Pessimism or just simply acknowledging Dixon luck, it didn’t matter. There was a maintenance shed, door open. The probability of walkers inside was slim but not none. It’d do in a pinch though. 

Your flannel shirt would be used as a bandage after, so you peeled it off and tore off the sleeves, biting and pulling at the rest of it to form it into strips. “Can you turn onto your right side just a little?” You asked while wrapping a piece of the fabric around your arm. You used your teeth to aid in tying it off. 

Daryl nodded tiredly and angled himself onto his right hip. He could probably do this himself, honestly, but you were there and had a better view of the injury. Your biggest worry was the wood splintering or snapping, leaving the arrowhead inside. 

Using your knife, you cut the fabric around the point of entry as carefully as possible. It’s still oozing blood but nothing like it will be once the weapon is removed. Chewing on your lip, you go back to cutting, this time at the back of his thigh. Worry is gnawing at you relentlessly, your insides twisting. 

“I could break the shaft, make it easier for you to move. I think we could make it—”

“Gotta break—gotta break it anyway.” To emphasize his point, he leaned forward and wrapped a trembling hand around where the weapon entered his flesh. With what looked like the tiniest bit of effort and a pained grunt, he snapped the arrow and tossed the end somewhere in the darkness. His back thudded against the wall. “Just do it—or I’ll do it an’ ya can—head on back. I‘ll catch up.”

“I’m not leaving you! No way!” You snap. Daryl wasn’t thinking clearly. That much was obvious. Either from blood loss, exhaustion, or the guilt eating him up at the loss of that boy. Maybe all of the above. He hadn’t slept since he’d had to put down the reanimated corpse. He was supposed to be with the kid. He had promised to show him how to track and hunt. The archer had been called away to help elsewhere and the kid had angrily left the safety of the community. No one blamed Daryl except Daryl. 

Still, no one could ever make Daryl feel worse than he could himself, and you could do nothing without his compliance. 

“Fine.” You leaned toward him and held out your belt. “Bite down on this.” When he raised an eyebrow behind his curtain of hair, you sighed. “It’s gonna hurt, Daryl. There are probably already walkers and god knows what else headed for us. I’d rather not let them know exactly where we are.” His lip curled in distaste but opened his mouth and let you place the strap between his teeth. That man could be so stupidly stubborn sometimes. 

Your hand hovered over the arrow’s broken shaft. You knew there was no time to waste. You started counting down from three, more for yourself than him, and wrapped your hand around the arrow. Judging by how he remained silent, he knew that. When you hit one, you tightened your grip and pushed. Daryl went rigid, agonized sounds rushing out around the belt held so tightly between his teeth. 

You honestly hadn’t expected so much resistance, quick to conclude you must have been grazing the bone. “I know, I know,” you tried to soothe as you adjusted the angle. Daryl arched off the wall with a muffled shout. The arrow began to move again, soon breaking through the skin on the other side. You released a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding as the archer went boneless, the belt falling from his mouth so he could breathe through the pain with heavy pants. “The worst is over.” Flesh dangled from the barbs but it exited rather cleanly, and you were able to grab beneath the tip and pull it free. “Done. It’s out.” 

You’d have to stop and stitch him up once you were both a safe distance away. A piece of flannel was folded into a square and pressed over the back of his leg, quickly soaking through. With a muttered “shit,” you replaced it with another and one more on top of that one before managing to tie what used to be a sleeve around it. Just as you pulled it tight, you heard a branch snap and an all too familiar (yet no less terrifying) snarl. You had to bandage the top wound quickly and get the both of you out. “Hold this here.” You instructed when you pressed a square to the top of his thigh. Daryl didn’t move. “Daryl?” Maintaining pressure, you leaned forward to see his face. He had passed out. “Fuck!” 

Another growl. More shuffling steps. 

You hurried through wrapping the second one and shouldered your pack, leaning forward to urgently tap the archer’s cheek. “Daryl, wake up. Daryl!” He stirred but didn’t open his eyes. “We have to go. Now!” You stood when he still didn’t respond, wiping your bloody hands on your jeans. Looked like you’d be needing that maintenance shed after all. 

You could see them now, the group of undead bodies making their way toward you, their silhouettes barely visible in the moonlight. You gave a frustrated huff and moved up toward the wall, struggling to heave your archer into a sitting position so you could hook your hands under his arms. Daryl was a stout man, all lean muscle under his layers. Dragging him would not be an easy feat. 

“Anytime you wanna wake up and help, that’d be great!” You pulled and pulled, finally managing a few feet before the first walker was just too close. You had no options other than your gun. The shot was fired and the gun holstered just as quickly then you were back to dragging your partner. “If we make it through this, I’m going to kill you!” As if hearing your threat, Daryl groaned. You didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. Too many undead were lumbering toward you. “Are you with me?”

“Y/N?” The archer questioned groggily. 

“None other!” You grunted. His good leg kicked out to dislodge a walker from his boot, nearly throwing you off balance. “Welcome back to the land of the…somewhat living.” Some of his weight shifted away as he got his good leg up under him, using your hold under his arms to lever himself upright. “We’ve got to get to the shed. You’re still bleeding and—” 

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. You were pulled back and Daryl went down, unable to take his own weight so suddenly on the injured limb. Two walkers had grabbed hold of your pack, the only thing standing between you and grizzly death. And now there was nothing standing between Daryl and the same fate. You watched helplessly as you struggled against the rotted hands trying to get to your flesh. He had pulled his knife, making it upright to stab one skull before he’d tumble down, catch his breath, and do it again. 

“Y/N!”

With fierce determination, you pulled your own blade from the sheath on your thigh and slid your arms from the straps holding the bag to your back. One walker stumbled with the pack while the other grabbed your arm. You only let it get close enough to drive the knife into its temple. “Daryl!” Three walkers were closing in on him fast. 

“Y/N, get outta here!”

He couldn’t have possibly thought that was going to work. The corpse on your pack grabbed for your ankle but you kicked free and sprinted to Daryl, rounding in front of him to push one threat back and quickly stab it. You turned just in time for a walker’s teeth to close roughly with an audible click about two inches from your face. The shock lasted a mere heartbeat. You stabbed it in the eye and Daryl released his hold on the back of its tattered shirt. The archer tumbled forward gracelessly and you managed to catch him under one arm to keep him standing.

“I told ya to run!” He snapped. 

“The shed! Let’s move!” You ignored him and pulled him along with you. He was barely keeping up, stumbling to keep as much weight off the injured leg as he could manage. 

Walkers were coming from every side. You weren’t sure you’d make it before they reached you. “Shit! Shit! Shit!” Two were almost in front of the door. If they cut you off now, even a flawless dispatching would cost your window of opportunity to secure relative safety. 

The arm around Daryl’s waist tightened and you pulled him harder, nearly causing him to lose what little balance he was trying so hard to maintain. 

“Y/N.” He growled in a low, warning tone. 

You discarded the knife and pulled your gun to put a bullet in the forehead of the walker closest to the door. It was a close call but you managed to get you both to the entrance. There was no time for tenderness. You used your momentum to twist your body and practically throw the bowman into the darkness, hearing him crash into something inside that obviously tumbled down when he made contact. You continued the motion, spinning to back into the shed while pulling the door closed. You screamed in frustration when a rotted arm came through the last remaining space and prevented the latch from securing. 

You couldn’t take either hand away from the door, your weight being the only thing keeping the creature out. Within moments, more would join it and you would be overpowered. You released an angry howl and grabbed the handle, opening the door outward only to slam it closed on the decomposing limb. Once, twice. It took stepping forward into danger and throwing yourself nearly off your feet to snap off the arm and allow the door to close. 

There was no lock. You couldn’t see your hand right in front of your face. You couldn’t barricade the door when you couldn’t make out what objects were around you. It would have to wait. Regardless, you flinched when the sound of bodies hitting the outside of the shed rang through the small space. Switching gears in an instant, you replaced one fear with another. Daryl hadn’t made a sound since you had sent him sailing gracelessly into the unknown. 

“Daryl?” You kept your voice at a whisper. Agitating the walkers that had already pegged you as their next meal wouldn’t be smart. You walked with small steps, unable to see where you were going. You didn’t want to fall over something, especially if that something was your partner. There was no sound aside from your quiet footfalls. Frankly, it was unnerving. 

You had felt fear morphing into panic just as a hand wrapped around your ankle. Your first instinct was to kick out but you managed to hear the click of a zippo lighter opening followed by the familiar flicking that would ignite the flame. Daryl was slumped against a utility shelf, surrounded by a mess of jugs, tools, and empty storage bins. 

He looked tired. Sweaty and pale, but mostly just exhausted. You knelt beside him and took the lighter from his hand, sitting it close by on the concrete floor. “You alright?” You asked softly. His skin was clammy beneath your fingers when you stroked his cheek and brushed his hair away from his eyes. Rolling his head toward you, his expression screamed ‘did you really just ask me that?’ and you couldn’t help but wince. “Yeah, sorry about that.” He stared at you for a moment, almost as if he was deciding whether or not you were sincere. One corner of his mouth twitched upward so slightly that you would have missed it had you not been staring at him so intently. He finally grunted with a nod and let his head rest against a lower shelf, closing his eyes. 

Satisfied that your impromptu toss hadn’t caused him any further injuries, you slid the lighter a bit closer so you could take a look at his leg. It wasn’t good. The fabric was soaked through, dark droplets collecting steadily into a small puddle below his leg. Worry gnawed at your gut but you pushed it down in favor of taking action. “I’m gonna get you stitched up and we’ll figure out what to do from here.” He gave you a thumbs up, not bothering to open his eyes. 

You scooped up the lighter and turned to reach for your pack. Only—it wasn’t there. Where had you placed it? When you replayed the past fifteen minutes, you felt your stomach sink. 

You had left it behind. Beneath a walker. 

“Fuck.” You breathed the word out shakily, frozen to your spot on the floor. 

“What?” Daryl rasped from behind you. 

You still wore a frozen expression of horrifying realization when you twisted back to look at him. He raised his head, brow drawn inward, and repeated himself. 

“My pack. I left it out there—when I ran over to help you.” 

To your shock, he simply shrugged. “Don’t matter.” 

You gaped at him. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter?! Daryl, you’re bleeding!”

Another shrug. “Ain’t the first time, won’t be the last.”

“Daryl. Seriously.” You leveled him with a glare, but he waved you off and began pulling himself up with the aid of the shelves. “What’re you doing? Sit down!” You were really struggling with keeping quiet. The man had a stubborn streak a mile wide. 

“Can it, woman. M’fine.” He stumbled away from the safety of the shelf and grabbed onto the edge of a small table with a grunt, lips pressed into a thin line. 

You noticed, of course, and folded your arms over your chest. “That hurt, huh?” You deadpanned. He tossed a glare your way and, with a sigh, you approached and held up the lighter to start looking around the shed with him. There wasn’t much beyond some handheld tools, random hoses, containers, nuts, and bolts. There were no windows, no other way to escape. 

Fortunately, Carol knew you two had left and where you were going. She had asked to come along but you had shot her down. If only you had known the numbers you and Daryl would face on your own, not to mention the aftermath. Regardless, Carol would come looking. Eventually.

You both just had to survive until then. 

The likelihood of that was looking bleaker by the moment. Your provisions and medical supplies were outside, amidst about two dozen walkers. Not to mention, Daryl was steadily losing blood, leaving a small trail as he finished scouting the space for anything useful. You began to wonder if you had managed to nick the artery after all. 

“Okay, okay. We just need to think. We’ve made it out of worse situations.” You stood facing him, trying not to think about how fast he was breathing or how the pallor to his skin resembled the undead just outside the door. 

“Ya shoulda run. Told ya to run.” Daryl stated quietly, not looking at you. “Ya know damn well—”

“You know damn well I’d never leave you behind! Not now, not ever!”

“Y/N.” His eyes were shimmering with moisture and you could clearly see the flame reflected there. You gave him a small but genuine smile. You would absolutely give your life for Daryl. You knew he would do the same for you. He almost had more than once. Your eyes followed his hand, calloused fingertips whispering down your jaw. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. If you did die tonight, at least you’d be with the man you loved.

You opened your eyes when his hand fell away, ready to keep showering him with affection. Your smile faltered. He was staring at you, face taut with fear. “Daryl?” Just as you took another step closer, his eyes rolled back and he dropped. You abandoned the lighter in favor of catching him, arms hooking beneath his. You couldn’t hold his sudden weight but you managed to slow his descent. “Daryl? Daryl?!” You ended on your hip with his upper body against your torso and his head tucked under your chin. It was a struggle but you managed to turn and sit against the shelf. He was still pressed tightly against you, and you had no intention of letting go. Your tears flowed freely now, one hand moving constantly: stroking his hair, touching his face, checking his pulse, fisting his vest. 

You flinched violently when the door rattled and you heard shards of debris rain onto the concrete. They would flood into the shed any minute. You pulled Daryl’s second knife from its sheath on his belt. Your gun had been lost in your battle to seal the door. 

Cradling him even tighter, you pressed your face into his temple and sobbed. “I love you. No matter what happens, you have to know that.” 

Moments passed, the pounding on the door became more pronounced as the lighter’s flame began to diminish. You could see moonlight and shadows through the areas of the door that had given way under the assault. You could only watch as the door began to buckle. When it seemed as if they would finally break through, you pressed a kiss to Daryl’s forehead and maneuvered from underneath his body, gently lowering him to the floor. 

You were beyond exhausted. Your own injuries were singing with pain. Still, you would put down as many of the fuckers as humanly possible, ready to die before you’d let a single rotten finger touch him. Knife poised to attack, you shifted from foot to foot, readying yourself. The flame went out. 

“HEY!”

You froze at the very human, very alive shout from outside, your tear-filled eyes wide and unblinking. The pounding on the door lessened before stopping completely. 

“TAKE COVER IN THERE!”

You didn’t hesitate to drop the knife and throw yourself over Daryl just as an explosion sounded from just outside. The small shed trembled fiercely for a matter of seconds before everything went still and quiet. Breathing heavily, you raised your head. The door was hanging by one hinge, ready to collapse. Smoke and dust was filtering in and blocked any view of the scene outside. 

A silhouette began to take shape as it approached. Daryl’s knife was back in your hand within a heartbeat and you crouched in front of the still unconscious man, ready to defend him. Your eyes narrowed. 

“Y/N?”

The knife clattered to the ground. “Carol?” Your voice broke on the second syllable, hope seeping into your chest and making you dizzy. 

The silver-haired woman stepped through the doorway, a large gun in hand. She released the barrel and let the strap take the weight so she could pull a flashlight from her belt. More shadows were scurrying about through the smoke behind her. You shielded your eyes as the light found you, falling back onto your ass with a broken laugh of pure relief. 

“He okay? What happened?”

Carol crossed the distance and sat the gun aside, placing a cool hand on your cheek while she looked you over critically. 

“We’ve had a shitty day.”

Your thumb was tracing circles over the back of Daryl’s hand, your eyes following the movements. It had been roughly 13 hours since the grenade had rattled the small shed and Carol had been your savior, along with some volunteers she had rallied up. They had brought medical supplies but you chose to use what you had in your pack. Daryl was going to be thrilled. 

He had remained unconscious while you stitched his leg and while the volunteers helped get him onto a horse. You didn’t feel safe riding with him draped across the animal’s back and chose to ride behind him on the saddle. He was leaning heavily against you, head lolling side to side on your shoulder, and your back ached by the time you and Carol had arrived home to the Commonwealth. He had been restless in his state, saying your name several times in a voice laced with pain and confusion. Each time, you had answered and the arm you had wrapped around his middle had gently tightened. He never responded. 

The men who had traveled back with you carried Daryl into the hospital and he was whisked away on a stretcher. You didn’t like the idea of not going with him but the nurse had insisted that you needed care as well. You sat quietly while your arm was stitched, mind wandering to what would have happened had Carol not shown up when she did. You shook the thoughts from your mind before a devastating conclusion could form images behind your eyes. 

Carol had stayed for a while before offering promises of bringing some food by later and then heading to her home to sleep, leaving you alone with Daryl. The silence was daunting. 

Glancing up, you watched the drops of antibiotics and fluids drip from the bags hanging on the pole. Tomi had promised Daryl would make a full recovery but insisted he stay for at least two days to ensure there was no infection. You did not want to be the one to break that news to him. 

You narrowed your eyes when you were almost certain you could hear the small droplets hit the collection in the mechanism that fed the medication into Daryl’s IV. God, you were tired. You wanted, in the worst way, to crawl onto the bed with him and sleep for days. Yet, you remained in your chair at his bedside, slouching down to lay your head next to his hand that you were still holding. 

You had no more than closed your eyes when Daryl began to come around with a quiet moan. Standing so quickly caused the room to spin but you didn’t care. The archer’s eyes were closed tightly, brow creased. Tomi would need to give him something for the pain, probably. He’d have to be quick and sneaky, otherwise Daryl would refuse it. He always refused anything that could be used by someone else to better their lives for even a moment, at the expense of his wellbeing. Luckily, you and Carol were around to make sure he somehow managed to stay healthy. He didn’t make it easy for you. The previous night had been proof of that. 

After just a few moments, he relaxed a little and his eyes began to flutter open. You leaned in further so you would be one of the first things he saw and gave his hand a squeeze. His tired gaze settled on your face and his fingers briefly tightened around your hand.

“Welcome back, Dixon.” You smiled while your free hand began to smooth back his hair, soft and gentle sweeps of your palm that you thought for a moment might coax him back to sleep. 

“Hi.” He croaked, expression pinching up in discomfort. A cup of water was at his lips a moment later. Given the position of the bed, he didn’t need to raise his head far to accept a few swallows, but you put your hand behind his neck to support him anyway. When he turned his head away slightly, you placed the cup on the bedside table. Daryl cleared his throat and tried again. “Ya alrigh’?”

You laughed at the ridiculous question. Of course he had nearly bled to death and was worried about you when he woke up. “I’m fine. I’m not the one laid up in the hospital.” It was a joke and he knew it, if the feeble scoff he gave was any indication. 

“How’d we get back?” He still sounded so, so tired but you’d take tired and awake over sitting by his deathly still form any day. 

“Carol.” You didn’t have to say anything else. The man nodded gingerly and closed his eyes. You stayed quiet for several minutes, back to petting his hair. While he was relaxed under your ministrations, he was not sleeping. “Daryl, we need to talk about what happened.” He didn’t open his eyes right away but released a deep sigh. “We should have waited to go after those guys when a group had been designated. Instead, I was chasing you, running off all half-cocked.” You waited and finally his eyes opened. He didn’t look at you, and you knew then that, while he felt bad about it, he was aware you were right. He stared at a point between the wall and the ceiling, stubbornly refusing to engage in the conversation. It was your turn to sigh. “Daryl, why didn’t you wait?” You pressed. The answer was one you knew already, but you needed him to be willing to talk about it. 

“Kid was s’posed ta be with me, Y/N.” He finally said. “Them parents ain’t got their kid no more cause I didn’t protect him.” There was a sadness in his eyes that broke your heart. It was still a wonder to you how that brash, rude redneck you met at the quarry all those years ago transformed into the man in front of you. Still sometimes rude, but with the biggest heart of any man you’d ever known. He had opened himself up and allowed himself to love and to be loved, though it didn’t come without cost. Allowing himself to feel so deeply also made him a slave to more negative feelings. He held onto those tightly and let them punish him, beat him down. 

You leaned over him to press a kiss to his forehead, the action drawing his gaze to yours. “Listen to me, Daryl Dixon.” Your hand gently pressed on the side of his face. “That guilt isn’t yours to carry.” When he opened his mouth, your hand moved to press a finger to his lips. You shook your head. “It’s not. There’s no one to blame here except the kid and those men. He chose to leave the community that day and that was a mistake he was old enough to know better than to make, but it was those men that made the choice to end his life. That’s not on you. Do you hear me?” 

He was mulling it all over, looking away from you. You weren’t naive enough to think that this conversation could change the way he processed emotions, but perhaps over time, with enough love and reminders, he would stop shouldering so much shit alone. 

“Ya still should’a run when I told ya. That’s gonna getcha killed one day.” 

“Why do you do that?” You twisted to sit on the edge of the bed, next to his hip. 

“Do what?” Daryl grimaced, probably from pain, but his expression smoothed out quickly. 

“Act like you shouldn’t be important to me. Like I shouldn’t make you a priority.” You waited for him to look at you. You wanted him to see your sincerity. “Being in love is not a weakness, you know. You’re everything to me, Daryl. You make me want to fight, to survive. If it takes me dying to keep you alive then it’s worth it.”

“S’not.” 

“It is. You are.” When he looked away, you leaned over to cup his cheek and turn his head to face you again. The emotions you saw there made your heart clench. “You are worth it. You will always be worth it, Daryl.”

His Adam's Apple bobbed when he swallowed, eyes looking back and forth between yours. “M’s’posed to watch out for ya.”

You shook your head. “You and me. This. Us. We’re a team. We watch out for each other.” His lip quivered so slightly that you almost missed it but you chose to leave it be. “That’s the deal, Dixon. You’re never getting rid of me.” A tear slid down your cheek. You hadn’t even realized you had started to cry. Daryl pulled away the hand you had never released and reached to wipe away the moisture with his thumb before wrapping his fingers around the side of your neck to pull you down. 

It wasn’t your first kiss but like every one before it, it stole your breath. His lips moved against yours softly while he raised his hand from your neck to place it back against your cheek. Too soon, the moment ended and you sniffled away anymore tears while your forehead rested against his. 

“M’okay with that.” He said quietly. “Not gettin’ ridda ya.”

You noticed the hint of a smile when you laughed. “You may change your mind about that when you see the hot pink thread I used to stitch up your thigh.”

Daryl rolled his eyes and pulled you down for another kiss. “Yeah, might want a refund after all.” 

[bomberqueen17]

cellulitis adventures

So on Friday I was cleaning in the barn, hosing rotting meat out of a floor drain. I tripped over the hose, and fell on the hand holding the hose sprayer, in a pile of moldy rat shit I'd tried to clean earlier but hadn't done a great job on. The hose sprayer scraped my thumb, opening up a little cut and tearing the skin, which was annoying and hurt a lot.

Naturally I was like, listen I need to clean this really well, so I did. But I was busy, so I washed it really well and then didn't bandage it, because I had a lot more grubby shit to work on and a bandage would just get soggy. I cleaned it again when I was done, but still forgot to bandage it. it was not a serious cut, it was more of a scrape, and it hadn't really bled much, it was mostly just sort of scabbed over. Not a big deal.

Drove home to Buffalo on Saturday, and noticed it was a little sore, maybe a bit puffy. Ah, not great. I cleaned it again, put neosporin on it this time. Went to bed. In the morning I reapplied antibiotic gel and put a band-aid on it, and went off to work, off to Dude's aunt's house where his mother is clearing it out. (Aunt had to go into a long-term-care apartment downstate near her daughter, after a stroke left her with poor working memory, and nobody's happy about this but the house needs to be gone through and her sister is the one to do it. And we are the ones to help her; her children live a few hundred to a thousand miles away, and wouldn't know what to do with the things in Latvian anyway.)

Anyway. Finished with that, took a nap, ran some errands. My thumb was a bit achy under that band-aid, but I was busy. It wasn't until I was making dinner and noticed a red line on my wrist that I realized I ought to give this more attention.

I finished making dinner, sat down, took off my watch to look at the red line a bit better. Now, I have really pale skin, and it shows red marks from everything; I expected it was red from steam from the cooking. But no, the line curved and went unaltered under where the band of my watch had been, and out the other side. It was under my skin, not the surface of it.

So I took a picture of it and sent it to an online buddy who is a nurse, who said immediately to go to urgent care, not to wait and see if it cleared up overnight because it was not going to. And now that I've come out the other side of this with some antibiotics, I thought I would write a little post and tell y'all what to worry about, because it was no big deal in my case but if I had waited it might well have been. So behind the cut will be a very non-gory photograph, which possibly will look more dramatic than it would on your skin because I have so little pigment in mine. But mine was a very clear textbook case, so I figure it's a good example. Again though, no gore, so I do encourage you to look even if you're squeamish, because it's really good to get an idea in your mind about danger.

For the record, urgent care turned me away so I went to the ER and while I waited a long time, the staff, rushed off their feet and far too busy, was still kind and reassured me I had done exactly the correct thing in coming in. This is the kind of thing it's trivial to fix up with a routine course of oral antibiotics if you catch it, but if it goes too long it can get into all kinds of bodily systems and become very difficult to safely eradicate, and can cause lasting, even permanent complications.

So I thought, for other dumbasses like me who would ignore a throbbing cut, here is a little PSA about Shit To Definitely Not Ignore, and thanks times several million to my online nurse buddy who told me so.

Behind the cut, a photo that does not include the actual injury or any gore or disfigurement, but very clearly shows the telltale sign, which is redness from inflammation from the infection traveling through the lymphatic system, and is like, a prime time danger sign and if you see this seek care and do not delay. I haven't been able to find good pictures of what this looks like on darker skin, alas, but here it is on me.

[Image description: the right forearm and hand of a pale-skinned person, lying on the edge of a table with the fingers loosely closed, thumb upward. The thumb goes off the top of the frame, and a bandage is just visible circling it. A red line wavers from the side of the thumb down along the back of the heel of the hand, curves down along the inner edge of the wrist, and then curves down to the underside of the arm. Several blue veins are also dimly visible through the skin, not following quite the same path as the red line, which is wider and blurrier than they are. The red line is quite blurry and hard to see in some places, clearer and more distinct in others, and in one place clearly but briefly splits to follow two channels before reuniting into one. There's also a faint dent visible in the skin at the side of the wrist, where the buckle of a watch was; the red line is not otherwise interrupted by where the skin had been covered by the watch.]

Again, the injury itself was a little gnarly but not anything I would have sought treatment for on its own; it was a bit sore to bend my thumb, it was getting a bit red and swollen but I had it under a bandage and wasn't monitoring it. The red streak was what made me look, and it's good I did. For the record, i don't know if this is typical, but pressing down at the point right on the side of my wrist where that red streak was widest was tender, like pressing a bruise, and isn't this morning; that was what really convinced me this was something from the inside and not a weird mark left by touching something from the outside. I don't know if that would be universal, and it wasn't tender along the whole length of it, but right there it's going over bone so I could really feel it. It's not raised at all, not a rash, it felt like bruising deep under the skin but if you pull your finger across it didn't fade or change color or have any kind of texture to it at all. This morning it's not tender anymore either, though the injury itself is a bit more painful than it was.

They gave me a dose of antibiotics last night around 10pm, and the streaking has faded, but the injury itself is more angry and swollen and is affecting my grip strength with that hand. I plan to follow the course of antibiotics, of course, and am grateful for modern medicine, which makes this mostly just an amusing anecdote. Who knew scraping your hand in a barn full of rat shit was dangerous! (Well, I did.)

Anyway-- off to see about filling this prescription. I gotta take it four times a day but like, y'know, I can handle that in exchange for not having sepsis, LOL.

[aces-and-angels]

PSA: CONTACT GFM ON BEHALF OF IMAN, OMAR, AND RANIA- a reference guide

please be informed when you are speaking with gfm in regards to these three campaigns detailed here.

with my newfound knowledge- i effectively scared this representative off of my chatroom b/c they could not give me an adequate answer to any of my fair and reasonable questions. (they abruptly ended our conversation). they will not disclose anything else to me as i am not connected to these campaigns/did not personally donate to any of them. so i need ANYONE who donated to omar, rania, and/or iman to speak up NOW. this is a template free to use as a reference for the type of questioning you need to have below the cut:

PLEASE MAKE CONTACT WITH GFM HERE -> i cannot emphasize how important it is that you speak on these issues, ESP. if you donated (perhaps yall will be able to learn more than i did). even if you are still seeing gfm's as FULLY OPERATIONAL- they may be at risk of being suspended without your knowledge

@rubashabansblog please share this with your followers when you get the chance so they can speak on behalf of these families- thank you 🖤

tagging for reach: @appsa @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @mangocheesecakes @malcriada

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: Hi 

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: Please give me some time while I check the details

YOU: Of course!

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: Thank you for your patience

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: Would you like to know the above mentioned three fundraisers status?

YOU: Yes please I am a bit confused on their status because I had spoken with another rep yesterday but have learned some more info that conflicts with what I was told

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I am afraid that we are not able to inform anything about the fundraiser

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I request, you can contact the organizers for that

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: If you’d like to get in touch with the organizer, just select the “Contact” button as seen here (https://gofundme.com/g/ContactCO.jpg).

YOU: All of the organizers are currently in a war zone and cannot be reached easily. I am unable to maintain a stable enough connection between me and them and require multiple people to pass along their messages

YOU: That is why I am speaking on their behalf

YOU: I understand that the gfm vetting process requires a lot of information that must be disclosed between you and the organizers but I believe there might be a potential barrier when passing along this info to them because gfm does not have these services available in Arabic

YOU: This information may also be difficult to access simply due to poor wifi connection/lack of data

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I can understand that, however, for security reason, I am not able to inform you further details

YOU: So I only wish to know if they are still being given a chance to remediate their accounts. Has the refund process started for these campaigns? Would you be able to disclose anything if the person asking had donated to any of the three campaigns?

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I am afraid that we are not able to inform you that

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: Apologies for the trouble here.

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

YOU: I understand. Can you please inform me if I have the correct understanding for your process of review for these accounts? From what I've gathered- accounts under review are sent a unique link to chat with your reps to verify IDs, proof of money transfer, and accurate spending reports. Is that accurate?

YOU: I am speaking generally in regards to your process

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I am sorry, I am not able to inform you all these

YOU: Can I ask if accounts currently under review are still accessible to the public (i.e. say I find a working link to a fundraiser and am unaware of any potential issues -> would I hypothetically be able to donate to their campaign)

YOU: Or is there an easy way to determine if there is an issue from an outside perspective that an account may be at risk (i.e. some sort of highlighted message or flag that appears on my end of things as a potential donor)

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I can only inform you that you can donate to those fundraisers

YOU: I'm assuming you cannot disclose if this money is successfully being transfered for these accounts as well- but may I ask for a general range of time gfm organizers have to remediate their accounts?

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: Yes, you are correct

YOU: I have a contact informing me that individuals under review are given a deadline to respond before accounts are terminated and the refund process begins

YOU: Can you inform me what the emails for those refunds would look like/how they are worded

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I am very sorry that I am not able to

YOU: Okay so hypothetically speaking I wouldn't know that a family has lost thousands of dollars all at once until I receive a notification from your team that the campaign has been suspended for undisclosed reasons via my email stating a refund has been issued

YOU: Between the three links I previously provided over $36K has potentially been lost so I would like to be informed as a donor how I am to be made aware of these issues should they arise

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I am very sorry that I am not able to inform you anything regarding the fundraisers as you are not connected to those fundraisers

YOU: If someone were to speak to you in regards to these three campaigns that HAD donated to them- would you then be allowed to discuss this matter

YOU: I am speaking on behalf of them that none of them wish to be issued a refund for money that was meant to be put into the hands of families who are in desperate need of financial aid

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: I can understand that, however, I do not have any option to inform you the details

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: We can go ahead and close this chat. Please don't hesitate to write back in if you have any additional questions.

GFM REPRESENTATIVE: Thanks and take care

[wordy-little-witch]

I was minding my own business distracting myself from my brain, just scrolling on reddit looking for Buggy content and I am FROTHING

Screen shots from the reddit post under the cut, then I will be going feral

I'm losing it. I am LOSING my mind. Because if you like. Really think about this, I am. Oh my gods i am spiraling.

Oden, from Wano, who returned to Wano, who served Whitebeard and later Roger, who knew Buggy and knew his powers and could read the poneglyphs and HAD to have known, in some capacity, what Pluton was, where it was, and had Suspicions.

Buggy who fell ill before Raftel, before that final island and had to be left behind due to it, where the greatest treasure laid in wait, where the end of the world is at, surely as it may be -

Shanks, who, by and large, seems to know more than he necessarily SHOULD, who had that secret conversation with Roger that resulted in clinging, in crying, in heartbreak-

We know Poseidon is an ability, is currently in Shirahoshi, and that Luffy, for whatever reason, could hear the Sea Kings- Luffy who is Nika, who is the Sun, who will be King and carries the Will of D in his veins and voice and vivid demeanor.

Luffy has reason to be connected there. Thematically, it makes sense for an old, overarching plot.

But Buggy "could be the strongest if he trained"; Buggy served as a cabin boy on Rogers ship; Buggy is a fool and a fraud and keeps fucking up into success, confusing the hell out if the people who KNOW him; Buggy who has the Chop Chop Fruit, uncuttable and slitable at will, and who also has a CANON history of loving topography and who makes BOMBS-

And Pluton, the most destructive ship in existence, so much so that the blueprints were kept hidden and held carefully to avoid the schematics falling into the wrong hands - and after the 3D2Y movie, after the Groseade, while it may not be canon, it does sort of put things into perspective - especially when you think on how Franky and Iceburg were flabbergasted by the blueprints, were stunned and confused, when Pluton is under Mt Fuji and would need the WALLS REMOVED AND TORN DOWN to be released and retrieved.

And the Groseade needed a Devil Fruit user to BE as dangerous as it is. And Pluton is bigger, badder, stronger.

Not to mention that it's PLUTON - Pluto - Roman God of Death, the same deity in Greek mythology known as Hades, a name so connected thematically with the afterlife that calling the very land itself by the name Hades is understood in some cultures.

And Buggy, sweet Buggy, crazy Buggy who makes an Olympic sport out of narrowly avoiding death and failure and lucks out to comical effects - he's in hello kitty roller skates on a damned tightrope when it cones to that.

((Also, Hades/Pluto is also associated with wealthy (coughBuggycough) and fortune (CoughCoughBUGGYCoughCough), psa))

Now did you know that nuclear energy is fucking. Potent as HELL. And it's generated with nuclear fission, nuclear decay, and nuclear fusion. It's a meticulous process, but it quite literally boils down to Splitting, Breaking Down, and Putting Together Again.

And if Buggy's Devil fruit could awaken, if he could impose those properties on things OUTSIDE of his body, wouldn't that be more than possible? Wouldn't that be completely feasible, with his history in making WEAPONS, in making BOMBS? The chemical knowledge to do that would be wild, the physics and mechanics alone would be absolutely insane.

But Buggy could damn well be the key there.

If he trained, if he developed his skill and control, he could be the strongest - maybe not literally in a one on one battle royale of brute strength, but he could essentially pilot a nuclear reactor of a giga-ship, the likes of which even FRANKY balked at.

I have... so many thoughts rn and I am LOSING it bc AAAAAAAAAAAA

[jilyawards]

Nominations PSA

We have already sorted out the nominations that have come in so far - keep them coming! Only two days until the gallery is released!

We have received some nominations that did not fit the categories they were submitted under, mostly concerning canon compliance. Those have been moved around to their appropriate categories. We have also had to switch around one fic due to length restrictions and one due to genre, so we thought we'd let you know how it all works:

Works that are nominated for the wrong canon compliance category (ie. a canon compliant fic nominated for canon divergent) will be moved to the appropriate category.

Works that are nominated for the wrong length category (ie. a fic over 10k nominated for short) will be moved to the appropriate category.

Works that are nominated for genre categories are accepted at face value unless there are really glaring discrepancies. We had one very angsty fic nominated for humour/crack, in which case we contacted the author to ask whether they'd like to see their fic feature in that category.

You can find the canon compliance categories described here, but here's a detailed breakdown:

Canon compliant: takes place in the Harry Potter world as we know it, in Hogwarts or during Order era. Contains the basic elements of Jily as we know it: they are Gryffindors, Head Boy and Girl, they get into a relationship at Hogwarts then get married afterwards, fight for the Order, die on Halloween. Stories which fit this core chain of events are placed here even if some of their plot points are not explicitly stated in the books (ie. secret relationship, break-up and make-up, Lily plays Quidditch etc.).

Canon divergent: takes place in the Harry Potter world as we know it, but there are major plot deviations that an author would usually point out to readers about to dive into it: sorted into different Houses, no Voldemort AUs, only one lives/everyone lives, Lily moves abroad to escape the war etc.. Stories containing themes significantly darker/grittier than what is usually found in canon are sometimes submitted here; we leave those up to the submitters' discretion unless there is a canon compliant tag on the story.

Alternate universe: takes place in any universe that is not the Harry Potter world: Muggle/modern setting, historical/regency, fantasy/fairy tale (even if it contains some sort of magic) etc..

We try to stick as close to these definitions as possible so that all nominated stories have their fair chance during voting (ie. not have people not vote for a story because 'it wasn't canon divergent enough'). However, we understand that some stories are not always clear-cut, so the authors' and readers' input is always valued and we seek your help and cooperation throughout the process. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to contact us!

Thanks, Jily Awards Team.

[thegoldenavenger]

Oh lqg getting affected by some sort of pollen or drug or something that absolutely murders inhibitions.

In a boring meeting? Did you know you can just stand up and walk away?

Annoying disciples annoying you? They are weak to qi blasts and honestly making their way back up the mountain is good for them.

Everyone thinks the effects make him blunter and More harsh to deal with somehow, but when he heads over to Qing Jing, as usual, lbh and sqq get to see a different side of him! He kicks open the door like normal and settles in like it's his own home.

He smiles when sqq brings out the tea, he pulls out a fan and gives it to him. When lbh huffily interrupts with snacks lqg pulls out a lovely cooking knife and says it reminded him of lbh.

The knife is sharp and layered with a dark handle. Lbh takes it carefully and lqg cheerily turns his hand to show off an already healing cut, smiling as he point it out. "It bites! Just like you!"

He's a bit more talkative, not overly so, but enough to make it obvious that he's basically just blurting everything that comes up in his head. For sqq, it's fun to track how, in normal circumstances, lqg would refine these half formed sentences into his customary brusque observations and statements. At first teasing the ultimate meaning is a bit difficult, but once sqq gets the pattern down it is a fascinating peak into his shidi's head.

Lbh is in rare form, seemingly speaking just to get lqg to react some more, in a new way his liu-shishu is normally too reserved to act on.

Finally lqg just stands up and grabs lbh's lapel and drags him outside to fight. Not even angry, he's just excited and wants to spar and usually they spar bc they're frustrated with eachother... he wants to enjoy the fight so he decides they'll just fight now.

It's one of the first times they fight just for fun, without any matter of pride or duty as a pretense, which means when lqg loses as usual he isn't actually upset or chagrined at all. It was a good fight and he tells lbh that, gives him a few pointers to refine his technique, is noticeably more casual with his physicality.

Lbh invites him for dinner and lqg agrees and he spends the rest of the evening in the bamboo hut, lbh and sqq fascinated by him. He asks for seconds, he asks sqq to explain some of the history behind more eclectic pieces of decor in the house.

He doesn't hold back on critique either, which is just as unfettered as everything else he says or does at the moment. The fact that his normal levels of harsh are still restrained is a surprise to lbh, who thought lqg didn't hold back when berating him. Turns out, lqg does, in fact, hold a lot back.

He's tired so he accepts sqq's invitation that he sleep in the extra room with them. Sqq is remembering so many psa's about not driving home intoxicated and was prepared to insist.

Lqg settles in and actually sleeps, not meditating or otherwise practicing inedia, he just curls up and sleeps. Lbh doesn't enter his dreams, but skimming the barest edges of them, even they seem wild and unfettered.

I dont have a point here except that lqg acts more like a cat than he usually does as he acts entirely on impulse. There's definitely a scene where lqg has to sleep Not in the safety of sqq's bamboo house and bingqiu get to see him very grumpy about it bc he doesn't feel as safe.

Like, he can't practice inedia for some reason so he has to sleep but his basest instincts tell him he should be alert and guarded. Sqq tries to settle him which doesn't entirely work. It isn't until lbh sits down nearby and settles in to stay awake—he doesn't sleep much normally but with sqq all concerned about lbh he can't even make a pretense at resting beside his shizun—that lqg relaxes enough to settle into a deeper sleep. Bc he trusts lbh to keep an eye out for them!!!

Anyways. He doesn't do anything too embarrassing under the influence besides be more friendly, more blunt, just Unfiltered, masking off. Probably, some of his fellow Peak Lords found him more annoying to deal with (insert scene of a peak lord trailing off their sentence in a meeting bc lqg's face is all blank and expressionless... he just decided exerting the effort to look focused (which reads as scowly on his face) wasn't worth it and stopped forcing emotes) but sqq and lbh found it fascinating! (Maybe a little frustrating)

Idk. I was mostly thinking about the sleeping scene.

[yuhaino]

I'm putting together a bootleg slime tutorial of the musical, if you have footage please read!

PSA: This is my proper post regarding this, I have went through and compiled most of the London clips of Death Note the Musical available online. I still need to sort through some audio, but I'm hoping to put together some kind of bootleg slime tutorial!

More yapping info under the cut.

If someone with extra clips that they've never published *somehow* finds me please dont be afraid to contact. I likely won't put this together fully until i have more footage/audio.

99% of the clips I have access to are from tiktok with text plastered all over, and all the footage I have is in 360p. So it definitely won't be an ideal way to view it. This is intended to be consumed as supplementary material to enjoy the musical and is being put together for archival purposes.

The colors in the sheet represent the sources i gathered the clips from. I have went through what I believe to be all the available clips online.

I still need to sort through several curtain call clips + audio i found last minute. I also need to compile together listings people have made regarding selling/trading clips and see if anyone is up to kindly give clips of portions that im at the very least missing.

I have access to 2 semi-complete scripts made by other fans to track what is missing from the clips i've found, but i'm taking caution in guessing what is missing so basically im overestimating what I'm missing.

The musical itself is a really well made adaption, and although I don't personally enjoy how the london adaptation went I believe its still worth putting together to make an archival of. Hoping this may bring in more people to enjoy this piece of media!

Note: I haven't personally seen the musical live so I don't have my own clips. Hell, I only properly watched death note itself a bit over a month ago, but i really want to contribute to the fandom's archival work in some way with what I can. I do hope this can progress somewhat from the help of others in order to put this together for more people to enjoy it!

Thank you for reading. I'd appreciate any clip or audio, or sharing this around to someone who might. Cheers!

[damnation-if]

Hi, I just played the demo and I loved it! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate of when the next update is coming?👉👈 (Or link a relevant post, if you already talked about and I just didn't scroll down far enough to see it 😆)

Also, I wanted to check, can you be in a romantic relationship with more than one character, and not just a sexual one? Because I might be in love with every single character in this game 🤭

hi, thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying the game :) i've answered the question about romancing multiple characters a couple of times in a couple of different asks but the posts all kind of link back to each other so you should be able to find all the info by. following the various links in each ask i think, starting here XD

i'm going to put the answer to your other question under a cut because some of it is quite emotional for me

i did Sort Of talk about this at the time when it happened, by which i mean that rather than making a post, i talked about it in the tags of an unrelated post i was using to distract myself (i think it was character playlists and how i'm not sure if it's a good idea to do them or not if i recall), but earlier this year while i was already going through a really rough time, my laptop died and i lost a lot of work on the game.

i knew my laptop was old and that this was possibly approaching so i made regular backups and the good news is that because i write in a separate word document and keep backups of those also i didn't actually lose any Writing. however. my twine has a problem in that every second or third game file that i publish from the build is Haunted - it contains passages i removed weeks ago, or writing that i deleted long before publishing it, that kind of weird annoying shit. (other authors have seen my files do this lmfao) and i just have to hope that the backups i make either won't be needed or aren't haunted. anyway... because hope is futile, the last backup i made was indeed haunted, and utterly useless to me as a recovery file. because it's just twine, i still have all the writing, as i mentioned... but i would have to re-code the entire chapter and put it all back together again because of how much the file did not export, which is a complicated and daunting process.

so i made a rambling explanation of this in the tags of a post and decided to take maybe a couple of days off and cool down from this specific disaster before getting into it.

i wake up the next morning to find the IF community absolutely plastered all over with Helpful Informative PSA posts about how Silly it is not to make backups and how if you just make backups you'll never have problems again and you should know better than to not make backups.

now. i'm not a catastrophist. i know for a fact that nobody was making or spreading these posts out of cruelty or a desire to make me feel bad. i also know that it's not particularly realistic to expect people who don't even know me to hunt down the source of a piece of hearsay that's like "i heard from someone that someone said that an author lost a bunch of their files and is really upset about it" to find out what the situation is and whether or not it's what they imagine. i don't even think the vast majority of people knew who it was that was the author involved, or who i am either.

but to already be going through an extremely stressful time and then lose my laptop on top of that and then be obliquely referenced by people i thought of as my peers as kind of just a big silly bumbling goose who didn't know how to manage my files and a "don't be like this person" attitude really, really hurt me. i can't express just how deeply it hurt me. one particular author was openly laughing at me and saying it was my own fault for being too stupid to make backups using a certain twine peripheral program.

so. there was a period of time where i could have found the motivation to just restart the whole chapter myself and re-code it in a frenzy because i wanted to get right back into writing it because. like a lot of authors, i LOVE writing. that's why i do this even when it's difficult. but that potential recovery was sandblasted away by the reactions of people that i thought of as my colleagues in some sense (even though i understand that they didn't do it with bad intentions, in most cases). and i hope people can understand that it greatly lengthened the amount of time i needed to spend away from the game recovering emotionally, despite being a Very Small issue to most people. i'm literally upset again just typing out this answer lmfao

however one other small piece of good news is that my laptop seemingly just lost the ability to turn itself on (because of its age) so i Think the hard drive is intact. meaning that i think i can get someone to pull all the files off it and just have them back fine once i do. the other piece of bad news is that my life is a trainwreck! and i cannot afford that right now. which is why i sort of pivoted to writing the 2000 follower celebration sidegame as a way to enjoy myself while i hurtle through hell sdjgbdfhfdgh

shortly after this thing with the laptop the house i was living in was sold out from underneath me, even though it wasn't supposed to be, and i had to find somewhere to live with my 18 year old cat, but the city i lived in had zero places that would allow cats (they're totally fine with Dogs though of course) so i had to move to an entirely new city on my own while worrying about her health. and right now i spend every fortnight desperately trying to scrape together enough to survive the next fortnight. there were entire months where i had no access to internet! it's been pretty Bad!!

so i get that people really want updates, and i'm really flattered that people do and it makes me happy that people like the game so much. but i am currently expending so much time and energy trying not to die lmfao, and i need to save up the money to get my files back around that. i truly cannot tell you when the next update will be, but i promise you that it Haunts me, probably more than you can imagine XD the sidegame will Definitely come out before it though, if that's something you're looking forward to.

thank you again for your message, and i'm sorry that i don't have good news for you. but i am trying, constantly. every day.

[foone]

Electrolysis

So some info on this hair-removal procedure that I thought might be useful for anyone starting it or considering starting it. PSA: I'm not a doctor or an electrolysis tech, so this is not Expert Advice or anything. I'm just an interested amateur undergoing the procedure, with access to the interweb's collected knowledge.

I stuffed it under a readmore because it's long.

How's it work?

Basically they poke a needle into the hair follicle, and then pass electricity through your body. You'll be holding onto something or putting your hand in (salt) water to provide a path for the current.

This generates sodium hydroxide (aka Lye) though electrolysis, hence the name. The lye kills the follicle, and then the technician pulls out the hair with tweezers. If done correctly, that hair will never grow again.

Importantly: This is an external procedure. You see that pink layer around the follicle? That's a layer of skin. Your skin is not being punctured by the needle, it's simply sliding down the pocket in your skin that the hair lives in. So the needles need to be sterile because of the risk of accidental puncture, but this isn't like surgery or anything.

Does it hurt?

Yep. You're being zapped. Generally in my experience the needle doesn't hurt, but the current being on does hurt. It's not too severe, and importantly IT CAN BE ADJUSTED. See, the amount of time it takes to generate lye depends on the voltage used. If the pain is too intense to manage, your technician can lower the voltage. This'll make it take longer per hair, but it will hurt less. (And similarly, if it doesn't hurt much at all, they may be able to go faster by turning up the voltage)

It's not a "shock" type zap, where it's unexpected and high-intensity. You don't jump with fright. It's more of a "burning" (but without heat) kind of zap, where it's uncomfortable/painful over several seconds, slowly increasing and decreasing in intensity. You may want a stress ball to squeeze.

What should I do before the appointment?

Ask your technician! Generally they'll have a sort of pre-appointment appointment to talk about what you need to do, or they'll send you instructions.

But basically you're gonna want to have short hair in the area you're getting electrolysis done on: My technician suggested 1-4th to 1/8th inch (3-7mm). The idea is that it's long enough that they can grab it with the tweezers, but not so long it curls or gets kinky (lewd). I use an electric razor which comes with one of the shields for cutting hair to a specific length (which my wife bought to buzz her undercut!) and it works great. I just give it a once over the day before my appointment.

You should also make sure you're hydrated. Being dry makes it harder to get the hairs out. Try to do this the day before or early in the day: Not only because it takes a while for the water to make its way through your body and affect the tissues, but because you don't want to have to interrupt the hair removal session to go piss.

I tend to take some painkillers an hour or two before my procedure. Ibuprofen and Tylenol/Acetaminophen/Paracetamol are both over the counter and can be safely mixed, and work well for this. My roommate used to vape some THC before going into her appointments, that may also be an option for you.

You should also ask about topical numbing cream and if your technician wants you to use it. Sometimes it's not a good idea because it can make your skin slimy, but it can definitely help.

The stuff I use is topical lidocaine 5% cream: You will typically find this in the hemorrhoids section of your pharmacy: it's butt cream. Just make sure you are getting a kind that's not got a bunch of added "flavors" like aloe and oatmeal and coloring and the like. You want the most generic cheapest kind.

You put it on "like you're icing a cake". I get the 30g/1oz tubes, and I basically use one per session. You don't rub it in, you just cover the skin with it, as thick as you can. You want to put this on an hour before your session so it has time to sink in. After putting it on, you should cover it with some plastic wrap so it'll stay in place and not get on your mask or shirt or glasses. (You will probably still get it on your shirt. That's okay, it washes out easily)

You probably want to ask your technician which area you're going to be working on before the appointment, so you know where to cover. It's a waste of cream (and less effective) to cover your whole face if they're just going to be working on the moustache area! Speaking of which...

What should I do after the appointment?

Again, ask your tech, but general stuff is:

Ice the affected area. You'll probably have some redness and swelling from the procedure, so this helps minimize that.

Keep that area clean. Don't scratch it, and have some kind of sanitary wipes (I used witch hazel wipes) for when you forget and touch it accidentally. Get a new/clean mask and be careful with headphones, so you don't introduce any surface bacteria into the area.

Again, painkillers. They'll help.

This'll last 1-3 days depending on how fast you heal. It's not hugely noticeable on my skin, but be warned that it might be, like you got a big sunburn on your face.

How do sessions go / how many will it take?

So the thing about electrolysis is that it's not exactly fast. Basically they have to stick a needle in every single hair on the area of skin they're de-hairing, and typically this is the face, which has relatively dense hair. It takes a long while. So for example, in one of my first sessions, they basically started at my right sideburns and went down, making it maybe 2 inches (5cm) down my face, over 2 hours.

It's slow going. You will need a bunch of sessions. I'm sorry. The electrolysis tech who runs the clinic I go to said it could be anything from 30 sessions to 600, depending on your hair density and how much area needs to be covered.

But once they've gone over a section, that section is done, right?

Sadly, no. Hair goes through a cycle of growth-regression-resting, over a cycle that's dependent on where on the body it is and your particular genetics (and some environment conditions! this is why stress can make your hair fall out). If the hair has been shaved before and is in the resting phase, it's not there for the technician to get at. They'll need to go over that spot again to get the hairs they missed. How much this needs to be done depends on your body's hair growth. And sometimes you can be "done" and then a year later some hair pops out of nowhere because it decided to take a long nap and you need to go back for touch-ups. Those will be minor and quick, however, since you'll have far fewer hairs to need to be treated.

It's permanent in the long run, right?

Absolutely. And I mean that: ABSOLUTELY. It is the gold standard of hair removal. Properly electrolysised hair simply cannot come back: you are hairless there forever. There is no longer any living follicle in your skin to grow hair.

Is there only one type of electrolysis?

Nope! There's 2, or 3, or 2 and a half. or, arguably, only one. Basically the idea of "zap someone with electricity to get rid of hair" comes in three(ish) forms:

Galvanic Electrolysis

Thermolysis

Blend

The one I explained is Galvanic Electrolysis. You pass DC current through a follicle, it creates lye, the lye kills the follicle. This was the first one, and is nearly 150 years old. It was originally developed to treat ingrown eyelashes, which could cause blindness.

The second, Thermolysis, doesn't actually use electrolysis, so technically it's a type of "Electrology", the practice of hair-removal-with-electricity, of which Electrolysis is only one method. Instead of creating lye in the follicle, the probe is instead an RF transmitter, broadcasting several watts of high-frequency radio waves at a frequency where they'll be absorbed by the hair matrix, kinda like a microwave. This creates high temperatures (50°C/122°F) causing electrocoagulation, basically denaturing the proteins and killing the follicle that way.

The third (or 2.5th) method is Blend. As you might guess, this is simply mixing both of the above methods. It's relatively easy to do, as they both need an electrical probe, and you can just build one machine that switches between the two methods or combines them at the same time.

My particular electrolysis clinic manager feels very strongly that galvanic electrolysis is the way to go. It's slower than thermolysis or blend, but she believes this is more reliable and has fewer side-effects on the skin (as it's possible but hopefully unlikely for the skin to be damaged by the heat of thermolysis). But I think those are mainly her opinions rather than a scientific consensus, so you may want to do your own research if your local clinic does Thermolysis or does Blend. Maybe she's wrong.

Are there other methods/how effective are they?

Kinda. So the big competitor to electrolysis is Laser Hair Removal. Despite the name, the FDA (who regulates hair removal tech in the US) says it's not actually a form of hair removal, just a form of "hair reduction". It's not allowed to be advertised as permanent hair removal because of this.

Basically it works something like Thermolysis: A laser is fired at the skin, using a wavelength of light that will be mostly not absorbed by the skin, but will be absorbed by the darker and denser hair follicles. They'll heat up from the laser, and electrocoagulate, and die.

This has several advantages over electrolysis: It's far faster, it requires less training for technicians, and it's less painful. Note that that's less painful, not "painless". It still hurts, as you're being SHOT IN THE FACE WITH A LASER. (It also has the side-advantage for trans femmes that you can keep shaving while doing it, vs electrolysis which requires some hair growth)

So, the problems: First of all, even when working, it is less effective in general. You're unlikely to get all the follicles at once, and you'll need many passes over the same area to get anything like consistent coverage.

The second drawback is that it can have some very negative effects on your skin. If you can get photosensitive rashes, firing a laser at the skin will probably cause them to show up really badly. It also (anecdotally, at least) can have same negative effects on skin that thermolysis sometimes causes: all that heating causes damage to the skin, making it harder, less smooth, and potentially darker from the heat damage. Making sure to ice your face after treatment can help with this, reportedly.

But the third and final drawback is probably the biggest one: it's very color-sensitive. Basically for laser to work, you want VERY DARK HAIR on VERY PALE SKIN. If you have any other combination, it's simply not going to be very effective. The laser light needs to pass through the skin without being absorbed, then hit the hair follicle and dump all its energy there. If your hair is blonde, it'll keep going. if your skin is dark, it'll end up absorbing all the energy instead of the follicle, and they're basically giving you a suntan instead of hair reduction.

And even for someone who is pale with dark hair, it can STILL not be terribly useful! See, I'm in my 30s, so I have a couple grey hairs.

At least, that's what I thought, until I got laser hair removal. It turns out something like 5-10% of my facial hair was grey, and once you remove the 90-95% of the dark hair, guess what's left? 100% grey hairs! Basically laser hair removal just gave me a grey beard. Whoops.

And finally, there's IPL: Intense Pulsed Light. There's less to say with this one except that it's basically the same as laser hair removal, just at lower power levels and less specific wavelengths of lights (ie, it's more full-spectrum). Reportedly this gets near the effectiveness of laser (it's like 66% reduction after 6 months of treatment, vs 71% for laser), but can be done at home by the user. It has all the same side-effect problems, but worse as the light isn't as precisely targeted to a specific wavelength. If you can't get anything else, it's an option, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're very pale with dark hair and no history of photosensitivity.

On a side note, both IPL and Laser do involve flashing very bright lights at your face. I don't think they're going to be repetitive or quick enough to cause issues with photosensitive epilepsy, but you should definitely ask your doctor if that's an issue. You can't close your eyes to avoid the flash, it will travel through your skin and hit your retinas through closed eyelids, it's both absolutely wild and a little scary.

How expensive is it?

Obviously this is going to vary a lot as healthcare is a nightmare, but generally if your health insurance covers trans-related things like hormones, it'll be covered for at least the face.

If it's not covered, the price will of course vary with your location and the clinic you go to, but it's not going to be cheap. Sessions are going to be like 1-2 hours and they're trained medical professionals. They get paid for their time. In the cheapest areas of the US, you're looking at like 30$ an hour, and in the most expensive, 130$ an hour.

Is it just for the face?

Nope! Anywhere you can get hair, you can do electrolysis. chest, back, arms, legs, crotch, whatever you want (I don't know if anyone has done their whole head to become permanently bald, but probably!)

Combined with the last question, that'll probably not be covered by insurance, as they'll be considered "cosmetic" rather than "medically necessary" (other than some non-face electrolysis that's done before bottom surgery to avoid issues with hair growing inside neovaginas or having a hairy neopenis).

Areas outside the face tend to go far faster as you don't have the same hair density there.

But what do you actually DO in an electrolysis session?

Lay down on a massage table in a dark room, with one hand in a metal bowl of salty water. A tech wearing a flashlight on their head pokes you with needles and zaps you for a few seconds, yanks the hair, then repeats the process. You can talk (if they're not working on the chin or other areas where it'd cause problems) and we usually chat for a half hour or so about random stuff, before settling into mostly silence, listening to some music playing off a streaming service. I spend most of the time thinking about stuff to write, either stories or programs.

It's not a continual procedure, they're repeatedly poking and pulling, so you can interrupt them whenever if you need to use the bathroom or shift position. I was worried that my ADHD would have trouble handling "do nothing for two hours" but honestly it's not too bad in my experience.

Is this only a trans thing?

Absolutely not! I'm writing this from that perspective, but anyone can get electrolysis. For example, often post-menopausal women get it on their upper lip, as the hormone shift causes them to grow facial hair. But you don't need a big trans and/or medical reason to get electrolysis: You can just go "HEY I HATE SHAVING AND ALSO I HATE HAVING HAIR" and decide to do it. You'll probably have to pay out of pocket for it, but it's your money. Have fun.

Just keep in mind that it is absolutely permanent. Make sure you are certain before doing it, because I think your only option if you change your mind would be an expensive hair transplant (if that'd even work. I'm not certain, off the top of my head)

[castlebyersafterdark]

Or waking him up with a hand already on his cock, or mouth around him.

Ok this is something ive vaguely wondered about for a long time and never known how to broach cos im sure most people will say it's Just Fantasy. i see this somno idea presented in extreme ways and more casual, like this one you mentioned. im curious about it because my initial reaction on seeing this hc was - is this based on people's real experiences, or fantasies alone, or just hcs for the boys/fictional characters? or all? because issues of consent become a bit grey here. maybe im just thinking of women's experiences and how women's discomfort can be minimized in pop culture. perhaps its different in your experience, as a gay man or in gay culture.

i kind of get icky when i see people throwing the need for constant blatant verbal consent around because post-weinstein we've lost a lot of the sexiness and complicity of non-verbal communication and consent in sex. but my brain always thinks of those cases where the guy doesnt think its even possible to rape a girl if theyre married or in a relationship. so anything goes, and yes and no blur. ofc mike and will are in a loving relationship, but what happens if one of them wakes up and feels a bit weird about it, totally not in the mood or just had a totally different sleep experience and is thrown for a loop because the other has a mouth around them? would they always be able to recover and just say no and separate (physically) and be fine? im not sure.

idk its such a tricky one. maybe with byler theyve had conversations before where they're like its always ok to wake me up with a bj lol

This is a good one and I wondered if the question would ever come up because I know it's a controversial sex act / kink! Definitely onto something with some of it being in the realm of fantasy - but it is realistic for a lot of people as well. I'll offer my own perspective under the cut at the end like I usually do when I get too embarrassingly tmi/personal haha. But it's hard to explain this particular one without a real life perspective.

The consent aspect is a big part and one that's incredibly important in real life - but I'll personally admit when it comes to fanfic or just a simple HC post, there are certain aspects of fictional sex lives I just choose to gloss over and/or leave out. Because it is a bit of a fantasy world and a lot of assumptions are made. (Do yall know how many asks I get requesting details and preferences on the intricacies of anal sex prep? Yall. Suspension of disbelief. There's so many advice and sexual health articles out there to read up on if you're so curious, it's... implied. No offense to the curious mind, I appreciate the genuine approach, but I ain't including all that in a fic hahaha. ANYWAY)

i kind of get icky when i see people throwing the need for constant blatant verbal consent around because post-weinstein we've lost a lot of the sexiness and complicity of non-verbal communication and consent in sex.

I know exactly what you mean. And I don't know what goes on in most people's real sex lives, but in fanfic world, there can sometimes be a sort of "over-correction" when it comes to the way dialogue and consent is written. You just... gotta make it sound natural. So much reads like a sex ed pamphlet. There's a way to add consent and communication into the flow rather than a pause to deliver a PSA. Easier said that done, I know. It's important, but we don't have to treat what is fantasy and playing around with creativity as a manual for education every time. Real life... isn't A,B,C dialogue choices. Hard to explain, you know??? This isn't covering all the extreme kink explorations and all - which I don't really write so I'm not diving into that. There's an entirely different world out there regarding bdsm but it's not my world so I have little to offer in terms of conversation. As well as the cnc kink which is a whole other ballpark. Valid, but not the topic I'm including with this. This is more of a "light" version.

Gosh. Ok. Here is personal insight which kind of informs how I approach the topic of something like consent and especially a somno style sex act in realistic practice:

It definitely is very personality based - communication, trust, sex drive, what both partners are into. Goes along with the idea of "natural flow of conversation and sex" and really knowing your partner. So. We both know we're very comfortable with each other's bodies and in a well established relationship - we know each other's moods. This isn't something that's happening every day! Or even every week! An occasional indulgence. It's intimate, sharing a bed with someone long term. If you or your partner goes to bed exhausted or a bit upset or off-kilter from the day, feeling sick or just in an odd mood - obviously life just goes about normally. There are times though, when let's say... the night ended after a lot of sex, just a really intimate time and drifting off to sleep from a really passionate session and you know. Continuing in the next morning isn't hmm. Out of the ordinary. The vibes linger from falling asleep into waking again. It's hard to describe - sometimes blatantly spoken in the heat of passion when it's so good and you're still feeling greedy even before it's over ("I'd love to wake up to you fucking me") or something crazy. Or, you just know you'd both go another round before bed if you weren't so tired, so you pass out but whoever wakes up first may just get a head start and continue.

It's... a lot of just knowing your partner. Feeling comfortable to know if you wake up and oh, that's happening and you're not into it? You can just say "babe, I kinda want to just go back to sleep" and you know they'll ease off and let you be. Or, you wake up to a nice surprise and it's a shock at first, but you then relax and let it happen, or vice versa doing something to them. More often it's one of those instances more where you both wake up, very in the stirring strings of half awake, half asleep, and one partner is a little more awake and has the idea. And the half asleep one is like, oh? Sure! I'm just gonna drift though, you have fun. Go to town. It can be like that, too. This all feels very normal and within the flow of an established couple with a pretty active sex life. Just in my opinion.

I've read a lot of sex forums and kink forums because I'm curious about a lot of things! And sex is interesting to me beyond just titillation (using that one for another anon who adores the word haha), sometimes it's just fascinating research. I've read a lot of instances specifically with women, some are actually really into the practice and find it really hot to wake up to their partner either going down on them or starting to fuck them, when they're still sleeping. After conversations about it - there's the consent talk. Now, proceed. They'll wear a specific hair tie or bracelet when they go to sleep, signalling that they're looking for this sex act to happen if so desired. That's the communication, that's the greenlight. No bracelet - no touchy. I don't really practice anything like that because it's not like this is something we do often. It's an offhand comment, it's reading the vibe, it's the half asleep fumblings on a morning lie-in when one partner wakes up with the urge. So, all in all - there are different forms of communications rather than just sitting down the edge of the bed and turning to each other and blatantly spelling out every detail and shaking hands at the end before engaging with the session.

I know there are relationships that are very how do I say it - lifestyle kinksters? Where the master/sub (I don't like the other S word to be honest) have an agreement for whatever period of time is decided upon - where there's a "free use" understanding. They've consented to the initiation of sex whenever. Often including while asleep or half-asleep. But that's also an agreed upon form of consent where it's not long form discussed previous to each encounter. That's lifestyle kink, though. Not most people. Realistically, it's more... trust and understanding of who you're sharing your bed with. Are they into it? Can you tell when they won't be? There's no real rule book.

So when it comes it fiction - I think the idea is kind of implied it's a bit like what I've personally described? Even if not really detailed in the written prose. Not that consent isn't interesting or important - but at least my writing and the writing I like to read - I'm not looking for hyper-realism or education. And there's also great worth in reading/writing some stuff that's more controversial or not perfected romance - I just don't really dive into that myself. I'm very sappy romance and idealistic, to be honest. Just what I'm good at and prefer. ☺️😘