#there’s more to it but i have not slept yet

[hivemuthur]

The Ugly Thing

viktorxfemale!reader explicit! smut, love confessions, D/S dynamics (if you squint or if you know what I'm talking about), pinning, dom!viktor (but also not, if you squint, something something), Viktor-centric, AU college/university + modern era (again, you have to do some squinting for it to be relevant)

word count: 4,9K

summary: Yet another self-indulgent one-shot of Viktor and Reader. It's just an exploration. I want to believe this is erotica, but you tell me. Subspace/Domspace if you squint. Just squint, alright?

Cross-posted on AO3

—

Viktor was, at the very least, difficult. That was what he had called himself, and he relished the label, as it allowed him to be all things at once—sweet, shy, bold, cruel, smart, oblivious, observant. He walked through life making observations and turning his conclusions into actions, placing people exactly where he needed them, ensuring they couldn’t place him somewhere he didn’t want to be.

His relationships were fleeting moments of leniency—sometimes even kindness—offered only when he felt inclined. Occasionally, the kindness transpired twice, or three times, but never more, as the risk of forming a one- or double-sided attachment was undesirable. Viktor’s desires lay elsewhere, and in his pursuits, he indulged the weakness of the flesh while keeping his ultimate goal—recognition of his brilliant mind—crystal clear.

Always polite, so that nothing could hurt him. His armour of politeness and astute behaviour shielded him from the lingering hands that sought to cradle him through the night, from the tender offerings of morning coffee, and from the quiet intimacy of shared silences. Viktor didn’t crave these things. He made sure his politeness was cold, detached, and practised—a skill perfected to keep others at bay. There was no warmth in it, no invitation to linger.

From time to time, he indulged in fleeting encounters, moments where he allowed himself to surrender to the pull of human connection—physical, but never emotional. Emotional, but not lasting. It was a necessary recharge, a way to quiet the body’s demands, but he was always one step ahead. He ensured his partners understood that whatever fragile universe they built together in the night would dissolve with the first light of morning, leaving no trace beyond the cooling embers of his skin.

All that was left was being polite—a polite smile in the hallway, a pencil lent during a lecture, an elevator held for his perishable lover rushing to class. Their names never forgotten, but their warmth never wanted again.

Until you. Until you invaded his orbit and refused to be erased. Until you befriended Jayce, making it easy to keep meeting him, keep looking at him, keep exchanging amusements and something more than politeness—exchanging kindness. Until it turned out you were smart and driven and managed to scare him once or twice by pinning him with your joke.

Until he had slept with you, giving you his mediocre self—not the calculated, observant one, but the needy, touch-starved, pathetic one that moaned your name and groped you with begging hands. All during a completely unorchestrated evening in your dorm room, still half-clothed, just lustful and impatient. Just really fucking hungry in your mutual understanding, though you understood absolutely nothing. Oblivious to the ugly thing in him. Oblivious to the concept of boundaries. Oblivious to the need to protect yourself from prying eyes that might see the truth of what they were.

And the way you stared at him afterwards, gave your body a long stretch, and your limbs flopped back onto the mattress. And the way you said, “It’s ok if you want to go,” an understanding smile cracking across your face—yet you understood absolutely, utterly nothing. A way out he craved, but he wanted to carve it out for himself with his politeness, not with this—this knowing, wise look in your eyes that came from nowhere, because you knew nothing. He almost wanted to stay, just to spite you, but found himself only nodding, scrambling to his feet to fetch his brace and cane, and bidding you goodnight with a polite nod.

And the way you remained friendly. Not friendly—the way you two remained friends. The long nights spent in study groups, pulling straws to determine who was doomed to coffee duty, your head slumped in sleep on Jayce’s shoulder, his head resting on Mel’s. Your bare, cold feet stretched out, toes brushing against Viktor’s thigh, sending ice through his veins—and the way he didn’t mind. The way he contemplated cradling your feet in his palm, warming them against his better judgement.

The way your touch lingered on his arm when you grabbed him in the corridor to show him something funny on your phone. And the way the thing on your phone actually was funny—a picture of Jayce passed out in the library under a mountain of plastic cups balanced on his shoulders. The way his own laugh startled him, made his chest shake and his face lean in close to yours.

The way you would fall asleep in the common room, watching old horror films, your throat vulnerably exposed on his lap. And he just wanted to grab it, squeeze it tight, choke the confession out of you—that you lingered because you wanted more, because this friendship was unthinkable.

The way you got upset when he was mean, and the way he went out of his way to apologise with a childish, shit-eating grin. His arms reaching out for you, your palm pressing his face away in that same friendly gesture.

When he flushed his system with alcohol, all he could think about was fucking you senseless. And when your gaze lingered on him, burning all the way down into his ugly thing, you would ask what was on his mind, and he would say, “Physics.” And you would laugh his lie out.

The way, once, he gave you a lingering kiss on your doorstep and stopped himself. But seeing the question poised on the tip of your tongue, he sunk back in, turning the kiss into a sloppy, drunken mess, so you would be the one to push him away. A gentle pat on the shoulder, sending him off with the unspoken instruction to come back sober. And how he never came back for that.

All of this made him so fucking angry. His carefully mended self, constructed from sweetness, shyness, boldness, cruelty, wisdom, and oblivion, was crumbling under your pensive eyes—and the way you floated atop the pissed-off ocean of his mind.

And oh, he loathed himself on that evening, loathed the way his feet carried him to your room because he was feeling vaguely sad and distracted. He loathed his feet for doing so, loathed his finger for pressing the elevator button, loathed his knuckles for placing a quiet knock on your door. It was all so gross, so out of character, and he loathed it all.

And there you were, opening the door, your face full of dinner, hair messy, cheeks puffed out as you curled them into a closed-mouth grin and gave him a wave to come inside. A quiet “hi,” followed by a chuckle as you tried to swallow before chewing—and a cough when the gulp was too massive for your throat.

“Are you busy?” Viktor found himself blurting out, scanning the room. Your flatmate was gone for the weekend—her bed made, her shoes and coat missing. Observed, concluded. His eyes flicked over to the other bed: messy but cozy, notes scattered across it, a steaming cup on the bedside table, and a laptop propped in the leg area playing background noise. Studying, of course.

“I am always busy,” you grinned at him, your teeth bare and beautiful like the rest of you, as you dropped your dishes into the sink and put the kettle on. “Watching Dexter and studying. Do you want tea?”

“Maybe,” Viktor mused, biting his lip. He negotiated silently with himself, wondering what it was he hoped to find in this room that might sweeten his sour mood—and why his mood was sour in the first place. His hand wobbled on his cane, the traitorous thing, and he leaned against the doorframe to deflect, refusing to decide whether to step fully in or out.

“Okay, what’s gotten into you today?” you huffed, picking a mug you deemed suitable for him. Good Vibes Only, with a middle finger printed on the bottom of it, seemed fitting.

“Meaning?” Viktor cocked an innocent eyebrow, feeling the burn of your inquisitive gaze. Oh, to yank that lovely head by the neck and shove it between his legs, to ease the torment in his mind.

“This is the third time you’ve bothered me today. It’s the weekend. You usually work on the weekends. You’re being vague but resistant to probing. Did something happen?” The countdown of his sins, and it was only the count of one day. Nothing had happened, and that was the issue.

“I suppose I’m feeling… down?” He shrugged, the movement worn down, defeated. His brain ached, and he felt lonely. It had started to feel indecent to pursue others—and for that, you deserved a whack as well.

“Do you need a hug?” A mocking snort reached his ears. A long pause as the scales tipped between a ‘no’ and a ‘yes.’

“Yes.”

Another long pause, as you blinked and scanned him for any signs of a sham, your expression still uncertain. You had to make sure again. “Do you need a hug now?”

“No, in fifteen fucking minutes.” His undignified huff earned him a pair of raised eyebrows from you, and a remark already rolling off your tongue—but he cut it short. “Yes, now. Come here.” His head hung low, and only his hand made a beckoning gesture.

You smiled, disarmed by the black cat of Viktor, finally trying to scramble into your lap after months of teasing and playing around—head bumping and blinking at each other from afar. You walked up to him, your hands hesitant, as if this open display of need was unthinkable.

Before you could settle, Viktor snaked himself around you, his cane propped by the door, his frame bent and draped over you, leaning his body weight forward. It was the grabbiest, the neediest hug he had ever given—or that anyone had let him have. He pressed his face into the crook of your neck, smashing his nose against your skin, and inhaled you deeply, through both mouth and nose.

His palms, open and wide, raked as much of your body in one go as they could. They slipped under your clothes, seeking the taut skin stretched across your back and shoulders. He wanted to go lower but could only squeeze.

You weren’t hugging him; he was hugging you. Caging you in his grip, controlling when the hug would end—and as far as he was concerned, not ever. You stilled under his touch, your hands resting obediently on his chest as he rubbed his face on yours, purring like a cat.

“Viktor?” Your voice was barely a whisper, bouncing off his mouth, an inch away from yours. “Would you like me to kiss you?” He sang his swan song in that moment, almost asking permission, granting you the illusion of control, the illusion of choice—when in truth, it was him silently begging for the kiss to happen.

“Would you like to kiss me?” Of course. A deflection. Nothing he wasn’t prepared for.

“I asked you first.” A cruel blow, almost childish. He pulled his face back a few inches to watch you wrestle with the indignity of the situation. The whine you tried to suppress at the loss of contact didn’t go unnoticed, and the snake in Viktor’s belly coiled its head up, smug and poised.

But then you did the thing he didn’t expect—twisting the serpent’s head off and tossing it aside with quiet defiance. You moved closer, nudging his chin with your cheek, your wide eyes pleading for his plea. His resolve shattered instantly.

He held you in place, his lips hovering just above yours. His whisper was longing, desperate. “Can I kiss you?”

A silent ‘yes.’ He only knew it was a ‘yes’ because he felt the movement of your lips on his—but he didn’t let you finish. He sank into your mouth with a disturbing, possessive urgency, pressing his tongue inside, licking your beautiful teeth, biting your beautiful skin.

He kept you locked in, pressing you down under the weight of his kiss. His mouth drooled into yours obscenely as he breathed heavily through his nose. It was the ugliest kiss he had ever given anyone—the ugliest anyone had ever taken from him. And yet, it was taken with such grace, such gratitude, that he wanted to give you everything else.

With inhuman strength, he pulled you both apart and placed his thumb on your lower lip, still glistening with his saliva. He traced it lazily, transfixed by the shimmering reflections on your skin. His heart swelled as he observed the redness blooming around the spots he had bitten. He wanted you bruised by his love—for everyone to see.

“What are you doing tonight?” Another plea, another promise, fell between you. Viktor cursed himself for being so open, so exposed. Because even though you knew nothing, you would understand this question.

“Watching Dexter and studying,” you said in an absent voice, your eyes following his, following the path of his thumb. The silence stretched between you, taut, until you felt the need to fill it. “Do you want to watch Dexter and study with me?”

“No.” The word escaped him in a croak, sung low and jagged, as if he had only just realised this wasn’t what he wanted at all. “Are you wet?” was all he wanted to know.

“What?” The word escaped you, surprised, almost appalled. Viktor braced himself for you to pull away, so he tightened his grip—but you didn’t. You just stared at him with those beautiful eyes on your beautiful face, your pupils dilating at the vulgar perversion of his question.

“I think you heard me. Are you wet right now?” He leaned in to whisper the filth into your ear, feeling his snake grow out a new head at the full-body shudder that went through you.

“What if I said no?” you asked shyly, your eyelashes brushing against his cheek.

“I would demand proof,” he murmured, holding the sides of your face as he poured his poison straight into your ear, his voice so quiet and rude that your eyes fluttered closed.

“What if I said yes?” You found some bravery in yourself, tracing your fingers along Viktor’s neck, just under the line of his hair. You smiled at the feeling of goosebumps rising under your fingertips. He couldn’t have this, of course.

“I would demand proof regardless,” he responded, his lips grazing the shell of your ear before licking it, slow and deliberate. He craned his head back to look at you. You appeared frightened and excited all at once, and if Viktor had no restraint, he would have run his fingers through your hair to soothe you. Instead, he placed a flat palm on your stomach, fingers pointing down, waiting for your permission.

He received a timid nod, but it wasn’t enough.

“Use your words.”

“You can check.” You closed your eyes and exhaled, as though allowing yourself to be judged for your crime. And as the crime was that of lust, Viktor, somewhere deep down, knew he didn’t really need proof, and that your punishment would be light. Because he didn’t truly want to punish you. He wanted to love you in an ugly way.

He slid his hand down, down beyond the waistband of your pants, down your lower belly straight to your womb, palming your cunt through the underwear and gasped, “Oh lásko, look at you.” His chest fluttered at the first touch, with joy and accomplishment, but also because he was right, when he slid the fabric to the side and ran his finger through your slit. Warmth dripped onto his fingertips, and he felt himself grow hard beneath the restraint of his own clothes.

“Do you really like me this much?” he cooed, so pleased that just one ugly kiss had managed to drench your knickers and make you feel so ashamed you nearly flinched away.

“Viktor—” You looked at the floor, your brows furrowed, your face burning from being so exposed, so naked. And you looked so, so beautiful.

“I am not mocking you,” he murmured, placing a reassuring hand on your cheek and caressing it gently. It was almost a praise, though he dared not say it yet. “What makes you want a cripple so much? Is it your heart that longs for me, your mind that thinks you can change me, or just your body?” he mused, revealing too much merely by asking.

You looked almost offended by how blunt he was about knowing what you wanted, just not knowing why. His fingers now parting you, playing at your entrance, teased you but you wouldn’t flinch. You just searched his face hesitantly and as Viktor grew tired of waiting, he pushed two fingers inside you, curling them, mercilessly bumping your wall, forcing you to flinch. He really wanted to see your eyes roll back into your skull, and he really wanted to hear his name distorted by a breathy moan.

“Which… would be the worst?” Your breath fanned his face as you steadied yourself on his shoulders. Truly, you weren’t ready for any of the options to be soured.

Viktor thought for a moment, his fingers slowly retreating, almost absent-mindedly. When his answer was found, he pushed back in, smiling innocently, his face moving close to yours. “The first. The second,” he mused, another slow, unbearably so, thrust. “I could fuck out of you. The third, well…” A gentle kiss on your lips, almost loving. “I see no fault in the third.”

“Of course, you don’t,” you scoffed, your grip on his shoulders tightening with each minute. “And what bring you back to me over, and ah,” a gasp escaped your mouth when Viktor brushed his thumb over your clit. You closed your eyes and evened your breath. “Back to me. Heart, mind or… body?” you asked, your brow furrowed in concentration against Viktor’s efforts to throw you off course.

“Which would be the worst?” He quirked his lips against yours and chuckled at another concentrated huff. He could feel your unrelenting grip on his shoulders, was convinced that it would leave a mark, and it made his cock twitch in his pants. To be marked by this gentle creature, a dream.

“Any of them, without the others,” you quipped, your eyes shut. Viktor’s movements stilled at that. You had managed to surprise him. Again. Of course, you would want to devour him as much as he wanted to devour you. Eat you whole, spit out the bones and build a shrine out of them. Ugly.

He retreated his hand and chuckled at the muffled whine that followed. He licked his fingers clean once your eyelids fluttered open, making sure you were watching. Rude. But he was going to kiss you with this mouth.

His hands snaked back up your spine, your body pliant against his, providing him with warmth. His teeth and lips got back to work on the swell of yours, and you fell right into it, mouth open, when his tongue pushed itself down your throat as Viktor began his meal. “I will die if I don’t fuck you,” he rasped. So fucking dramatic over nothing, over just a kiss and some unfinished fingering, and a clipped conversation about what he wanted.

He could abandon it here. He could walk out; he could sit on your bed and just study and watch Dexter. He could drink his tea, already cold, he could make you blush all evening, bid you goodbye and go back to his grimy room to jerk off and fuck off. But he couldn’t stop.

“Please, I’ll be so good to you,” he prayed to you, your hands so warm on his waist as he kissed you till he was out of breath. “You don’t know what you are doing to me.” Pathetic, moronic wail escaped him. And he knew you only grew wetter and wetter, your lips getting hotter on him. Panting, you pulled him by the belt and walked the two of you over to the bed, leaving Viktor with no other support than yourself.

He had never rid himself of his clothes so fast. Everything he had on, tossed and crumpled by the bed, next to your own little pile. All the layers of the second, the third skin abandoned, his brace, his pants, his boxers, embarrassingly soaked with sweat and precum, when he crawled on top of you just to keep kissing you and biting your neck, leaving nasty marks everywhere. He panted, his own breath betraying him as your skin came in contact and Viktor whined simply at his cock rubbing against your thigh and he wanted more.

“If you want to stop, tell me.” Another raspy, absolutely dishonest, but a proper plea, asking for the complete opposite. Please, never ask me to stop. “Do you understand?” You nodded, again—not good enough. Your eyes so wide, he could barely see the colour. When you were splayed flat below him, he could see your heart twitching, your chest contracting. A minuscule movement, but he could see it.

“Words, I need to hear your words, lásko,” he growled, stunned by his own impatience.

“I understand.” A kindness in your voice enveloped him. He slid you down the mattress by the ankles, his cock rested against your slit. With clumsy hands he put on a condom, stole a pillow from under your head to support his bum leg and adjusted his crooked crouch. You had the audacity to chuckle at the commonality of his movements and he bit your calf in response.

Absolutely unhinged, you hooked your foot behind his neck, and he immediately loved the weight that pulled him down, steadied him, as he teased your entrance. You held a breath; he had forsaken the privilege of air long time ago.

The first thrust was just blissful. He could feel the crease on his forehead relaxing, his mouth opening, his jaw hanging heavily, just joy and warmth, him awash in it. He felt so full, so complete, yet it was you who was full of him as your bodies slotted together easily, differently to the last time, which left him feeling awkward and ashamed and unfinished.

You rested your hands on his hips, gripping the sharp angle of his bones, your fingernails leaving crescent marks that he would run his fingers over in the morning. “You are doing so well,” he whispered in awe, and it was honest, and you loved it, he felt it in his cock getting squeezed in a silent gratitude.

He felt his ugliness leaving him with each pump of his hips, each sloppy sound of your bodies bumping against each other, his cock twitching inside you, and he needed one more thing to make this even less ugly.

He brushed his thumb over your clit, stretching it, teasing you and taking in all your huffs and puffs, your contorting stomach muscles, your tightening walls. A longing look and an echoing question followed. “Do you love me?”

“Viktor, don’t be cruel,” you answered so fast, he almost retreated. How could you think so? A childlike curiosity creeped onto his face.

“I am not. I really ought to know. Just say yes or no,” Please, just say yes. He felt you twitch at the question, and it made him think he was right. But he could have also been completely deranged. Brain burnt by lust and all the ugly things.

“Viktor—” you pleaded at the loss of his thumb on you.

“I can feel you. Yes or no?” A hard thrust, right up your guts. You yelped, and he could see the tears forming in the corners of your eyes, and the sight was something to behold, keep in the palace of his mind forever.

“Then, why are you asking?” You were ready for filth. For his erotic weirdness, for his awkwardness, for all the want he would suppress every time you interacted. You felt it all in his fleeting touch, in the warmth of his thigh when your naked toes rested against it idly, unintentionally, though very intentionally. But this was how you coax a cat. And this was not how cats responded.

“You will see,” he promised, more to himself. “Do you love me, now, in this moment, when I’m fucking you? Yes or no?” Another twitch of your cunt at ‘love’. He left himself unguarded, shielded only by the mould of your womb.

“Yes.” A tiny, shy ‘yes’. But it fell right into Viktor’s heart and there it grew into a big promise, and he would keep it and take care of it and cherish it.

His body bent in half, his mouth seeking yours. A sloppy kiss, painful, with teeth at your tender lip. Another, earnest, slow and careful. Another, quick and fleeting, before he found your ear. Between them, “I love you,” whispered back like a secret, like a prize for your struggle.

Your breaths grew frantic, you wanted to keep him close. You tangled your fingers into his hair, tugging him in, so you could lick the sweat from his neck, bite it and claim it. Your leg slipped onto his hip, and you curled it around him, his bone digging into your thigh.

“Do you see? How it feels?” he rasped into your ear, gripping you tight. “To be loved while being fucked? Tell me how it feels.” Viktor moaned with each of his thrusts, holding back getting harder and harder. His cock getting more swollen. Your walls getting tighter.

“Amazing,” you whispered, pulling his mouth back to yours. “I love you.”

Viktor’s eyes rolled back into his skull. He slumped onto you, his hands snaking behind your waist, and he could feel your sweat merging with his as your chests pressed together. “I love you,” he cooed weakly. “You can come now, lásko.”

He felt your thighs clutch on his hips, a long spasm twisting your spine underneath him. You came with an orgasm wrenching breath out of your lungs, leg bending, blinding. The ‘I love you’ falling from your lips over and over again, and Viktor could finally let go and spill all his ugliness out. He came with a loud moan seconds after, his brain fucked out, his heart swollen, as he came loved for what he was.

He held you tight through it, chests heaving, when he felt a quiver and wetness on his cheek. “Are you hurt?” he whispered.

You sobbed onto his chest, hands caged in his arms as you tried to release them and wipe the tears away. “No, no,” you shook your head. “What is this… feeling?” It had no name. For Viktor, it was a dumbing bliss. He could cry too if he wasn’t so warm.

“How do you feel?” He wanted to know what it was like on the other side. No one ever told him, no one ever shared this with him.

“Hollow. Ah… fuck. Empty,” you struggled to find the words, trying them out on your tongue, but they felt wrong. “I feel like you took something… bad from me. And now I don’t know what to do with the space left—” you gasped between sobs as Viktor rolled you to the side and pulled your hair to expose your neck.

You buried your face in the curve of his shoulder. Tears fell on their own, and Viktor wanted to drink them and cry them out himself. When the sobs transformed into clipped breaths, and clipped breaths transformed into one long exhale, you asked carefully, “Viktor, you don’t really love me, do you?”

“Well, do you really love me?” His chest was swollen, his head heavy. He was triumphant. He was so invincible he had it in him to love you.

Silence, for a while. Viktor nudged you gently with his chin and whispered a soft command, “Go to the bathroom, I’ll be here.”

You looked at him, the practicality of it spreading a strange warmth in your belly. Wordlessly, you got up and disappeared, still naked as day, and Viktor watched your feet shuffle in the creak of the bathroom door. He got up, put on his underwear, and drank his cold tea in one go.

When you got out, a relief glimpsed through your face, as if you were expecting him to be gone. He waited for you with a cup of tea and a clean sweatshirt, beckoning you to slide into it. Once you both had a singular piece of clothing on, he pulled you back into bed and cuddled sweetly into you. “How do you feel now?” he asked, running his fingers through your hair.

“I feel… like I really need you to love me right now,” you let it slide out. Even though your sweatshirt shielded you from the chill of the room, your soul was still completely bare and shivering. And Viktor loved this nudity, the weirdness of it, the feeling of belonging it gave him.

He found that is was his hands that were lingering now, that the tender thought of the morning coffee was no longer distorted by fear, the quiet and the silence became comfortable in a good way. He felt so wanted, so beautiful in your eyes. He felt all the right things and none of the wrong things. His ugly snake was skinned and turned into a beautiful object. In this beautiful space only beautiful words seemed fitting. “I really do love you right now.”

[docdudo]

Hybrid 141 As Parents - Foster Human Child!Reader (Part 12)

You woke up feeling uncomfortably warm. Not that it bothered you too much—it was the kind of warmth that made you feel too comfortable to move. Wrapped tightly in a cocoon of blankets, you realized you were stuck in someone’s arms.

And when you blinked your eyes open, all you saw was darkness.

The darkness of someone’s shirt.

You shifted slightly, trying to free yourself a little, but the grip was way too strong. You literally couldn't move, the blankets wrapped too tightly around your body. It made you squirm a bit to try and get free, but still, nothing. "Mhm..."

"Kyle, Johnny, let her go." Simon's low voice sounded muffled somewhere behind you, his heavy hand patting your covered body lightly. "I don't think humans enjoy nesting immobile like this."

Which, yeah, had some truth to it, considering you were still squirming a little, unconfortable with being stuck in place so firmly.

"It's for protection..." Johnny whined—mostly playfully—as he gave you one last squeeze before loosening his hold, pulling you up slightly so you could now see the rest of the room. The blanket that was wrapped around you not so constricting anymore. "Well, good morning, pup! Slept well?"

You blinked slowly, still feeling too sluggish to answer properly. Instead, you rubbed your eyes and face slowly with both hands, trying to wake up a bit. That didn’t stop Johnny, though, who immediately reached out to feel your forehead, checking your temperature. "Ah think it went down..." The Werewolf muttered, his brow furrowing slightly in concentration. It was harder for him to gauge your temperature when he ran much hotter than humans.

"Let me."

Gaz stepped in, leaning closer to feel your forehead, his feathers twitching slightly even when his body was otherwise totally still.

"You feel much better, fledgling." He announced, a small, gentle smile on his face.

"Great! This means we can play, right, pup?"

You glanced up at Johnny’s face nervously. He looked so eager, but you weren’t quite sure if you were ready to play yet... he was still way too big and scary to consider fighting with him.

“Johnny.” Simon reprimanded in his low voice as he stood from the nest. “What did we talk about before?”

"And ya think ah'll hurt her or somethin'? Ya don't knae human limits either, do ya?" Johnny didn’t yell, but his naturally loud tone rose slightly, and your body tensed instinctively between the soft blankets.

Were they fighting? Were they going to argue because of you?

"Humans are more delicate." Gaz chimed in with a neutral tone, stretching his wings as he stood up from the nest, still addressing Johnny. "Especially her, weak as she is after the flu...."

"I knaw ya worried, Ky. I knae, but I'm very careful. Ya knae that." Johnny replied, his voice softening as he moved up to hug Gaz's side gently, one hand smoothing down the feathers on his wing. "Besides, ya have to help me convince Ghostie—he’s such a hardass."

"Har har." Simon deadpanned, rolling his eyes as he bent down to lift you out of the nest. His heavy hands patted your pajamas gently to both fix your clothes and wake you up a bit.

Johnny grinned smugly, amused by Simon’s reaction, his wolf ears pressing down as he let go of Kyle to approach you.

"Ay, pup, do ya wanna see how hybrids spar?" Johnny asked with a mischievous grin as he looked down at you, stepping closer to Simon.

"Huh...?" You murmured, blinking up at him, caught off guard.

"Johnny—" Simon hissed, the raspy, airy sound of a Wraith’s warning making you jump back in surprise.

Only to be interrupted by Johnny tackling him down back into the nest, the Werewolf growling back as they tumbled on top of the blankets and pillows.

You gasped weakly in surprise, eyes wide as you watched them both fall to their knees, Johnny's bicep trying to get a hold of Simon's neck as he tried to push the bigger man down. Simon was clearly stronger though, as he held back the Werewolf's arm and pulled it off of him.

Gaz chuckled sharpily at his two mates' antics, shaking his head softly as he walked past you to go to the bathroom. The soft feathers of his wing brushed against your back reassuringly as he went.

You noticed Simon’s sclera starting to darken, and he let out a low hiss before tackling Johnny's side roughly, pinning him to the nest this time. Johnny growled back, his nails digging into Simon’s arms, in his compression shirt, which somehow resisted tearing under the sharp claws.

You could see both of their muscles bulging with how much strengh they were fighting eachother with.

“You two muppets, stop that.” Price’s voice came from the doorway. He entered the room, shaking his head in mild amusement at the scene. “You’re scaring the kid.”

Johnny took advantage of Simon’s brief distraction to push him off, immediately crawling over to you with a panting grin.

"See? Isnae it fun??" He asked, leaning on the edge of the nest with his arms crossed and his head resting on them. "Course ah'd go easy on ya, pup. Let you mess me up, aye?"

"Who called, Price?" Simon asked, straightening up and casually scratching his arm where Soap had sinked his nails in.

"Nikolai. He was with Kate and Rya." Price replied with a small, affectionate smile, a tinge of affection on his gruffy voice.

"Are they...?" Simon started to ask, glancing at you briefly before looking back at Price, trying to be subtle to avoid worring you in case he was wrong.

"Yes, they are paying us a visit soon." Price confirmed, his tone careful as he gauged your reaction.

"Who...?" You asked quietly, already feeling anxiety creep in at the mention of three new people.

"Bonnie lassie, it's okay, aye? It's just our pack!" Johnny said quickly, trying to reassure you as he got up to his knees to manage to look you better in the eye. "Our pack is very nice, aye? Nice people, very gentle! Ya'll love them!"

"Well, Rya, sure, but Nik and Kate...." Gaz emerged from the bathroom, looking refreshed and wearing a small, amused smile.

"Gaz."

"Kyle."

Both Ghost and Price immediatly scolded the Harpy in unison, their tones sharp but familiar. Gaz just laughed it off, shaking his head lightly.

"Kidding, kidding~"

"They are very nice people, I swear it, doll." John said quickly, his small smile softened by the warmth in his voice, though partially hidden by his beard. "I'll show you pictures after, okay?"

You hesitated, still feeling uncertain. Nervousness tightened your chest, but you nodded slowly. It wasn’t like refusing was an actual option. This wasn’t truly your house. Maybe the best you could do was what you'd done in some foster homes before that had frequent visitors: hide away from sight until they were gone.

Like a cat.

"Let's have breakfast, hun. And you need to take one more dose of medicine. Maybe some warm tea too, hm?" Kyle smiled, his wing brushing your back gently to nudge you toward the door.

You were still getting used to the mornings in their house. They were clearly early risers, with none of them showing the slightest hesitation about starting the day even if they just woke up. The ease with which they interacted, did chores, and moved around impressed you. It was a stark contrast to your usual sluggish mornings.

Not that you were grumpy in the mornings—just… slow. Sluggish. You often zoned out while sitting at the table, barely able to keep up with the energetic chatter and movement around you. They talked continuously, laughing loudly, getting up and sitting back down, picking up dishes, and cleaning as they went.

Truly impressive. You could never.

After taking a warm shower, brushing your teeth, and getting dressed in warm clothes, you found a new problem, though. Johnny was trailing you like a persistent puppy. His wide grin practically begged you to join him in whatever he had in mind.

"If you're going to play with her, take her downstairs to the gym." Simon suggested, clearly offering no help in discouraging Johnny's enthusiasm.

The small, betrayed look you shot Simon only made him chuckle softly as Johnny gently took your hand, leading you toward their indoor gym.

The gym was much bigger than you'd expected, equipped with far more gear than some gyms you'd seen before. The bright white lighting and clean concrete floors created a spacious and organized feel. Each piece of heavy equipment was well-spaced, making it seem as though every detail had been carefully planned.

You scanned the area, taking it all in, until Johnny tugged you toward a section lined with thick, black padded mats on the ground.

"I... don't know how to... fight...." You murmured, your brows knitting together in confusion as you looked up at Soap. It was almost a silent plea for clarification.

"I knae, lassie, don't ya worry! We're just playing!" He beamed at you, guiding you to the edge of the mats. "Here, take off your shoes, bonnie."

Both of you stepped onto the mats. You wore the new socks John had gotten for you—purple with white stars—that carefully protected your small feet, while Johnny went barefoot. His feet were large, with sharp toenails and thick fur along the tops, really what you would expect from a Werewolf.

"What... do you wanna play...?" You asked hesitantly, your voice barely above a whisper in the otherwise quiet gym. "Play fight...?"

"Ah like some wressling like anybody, mah kids also love it too! Ah'm sure we'll have some fun, wee lass!"

He smiled confidently, dropping to his knees. He had an eager and wolfish grin on his face, energy pratically radiating from him.

"Let's see what ya got!"

Part 11 /

[feitanii-ll]

“ GUMI’S HOME!! “

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt.3

✭ Pairing: Satoru Gojo x fem!reader (romantically), Megumi x reader (platonically)

✭ synopsis: Megumi grows to learn that he does have a family. Or, raising Megumi with Satoru.

✭ Contains: SEASON TWO SPOILERS! (I think it’s common knowledge by now, though. HEAVVYY FLUFF, more bickering between Satoru and little Megumi. Megumi being sassy again, more use of y/n in this chapter, tiiiiny angst BUT IT GETS HAPPY AGAIN. GUMI IS SUCH A CUTIE PATOOTIE.

September, 2007. Two days prior.

It’s another quiet night in your home. Far away from the bustling city, in a comfortably still neighbor with the right amount of peace that you just adore during times like this. It’s a home that you’ve made yours and decorated to your accommodation. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a backyard— not to mention paid off completely, thanks to your adoring man, Satoru Gojo.

Much to his pleasure, you’ve made it your own personal haven. Adorning it with the things that both you and your sorcerer boyfriend enjoy.

Because it’s only the two of you, you never found reason to utilize any of the other rooms, opting to keep it as an emergency guest room (though with how protective Satoru is over you, you knew he’d never lead anyone over to your house). And so, you opt to only use your shared room, which leads to now.

The first time you hear about fushiguro’s child is in your room, getting ready for a night with your partner. It’s been a while since he’s slept over at this house, so you were properly excited to finally have him all to yourself. But before the cuddles and kisses could begin, he walks over to where you’re seated at your oak wood vanity, body language you’ve never seen before in your man before now.

You turn to face him, taking in all his pretty glory— hair down and damp from his shower. You note his clothing, smiling shyly at the just-a-tad-bit-tight tank top that exposes his defined arms. And in true Satoru fashion, his lounge sweats that seem a bit too pricey to be simply for sleeping. And as much as you want to take in the glorious sight of him, you refrain as you take note of the way he rubs at the back of his neck and leans against the wooden vanity, facing you with an unreadable expression. He looks so.. conflicted?? And that piques your curiosity and worry.

“Oh, my.. someone’s stressing,” Satoru is comforted by the sound of your voice as you try to lighten the mood. You can tell, as he’s always been an expressive person. “What’s the matter?”

At your question, he sucks in a breath between his teeth, as if unsure what to say.

“Just.. you’re not gonna believe what the hell happened today. I- I didn’t tell you I was doing this, because I didn’t think you’d approve—“

“Satoru…” you warn in a low tone, though you were really just hoping that he hadn’t gotten himself into any unexpected trouble.

“Hey, I didn’t even explain yet! It isn’t even bad, really,” his body goes back to his usual animated way, which relives you. “It’s just.. I met the kid.. his kid. I found him.”

The words were so bland out of context. But it takes nothing for you to connect the dots. Despite this, your voice still calls out, hesitant,

“You… you talking about fushiguro’s kid?”

Your eyes go wide in shock when the man nods his head, and you stand up.

“Satoru Gojo, you went looking for him?” You ask in disbelief.

“Listen, it didnt go as bad as you’re thinking it did!” He raises his hands up defensively, “I swear, I really just wanted to meet the kid, but turns out he’s like, super strong. I can feel it.”

“Who cares?? What the hell were you gonna tell him, huh? That you killed his father?” You hissed, eyes still widened in shock.

“That’s just the funny thing—“

“It’s not funny!”

“No no, I mean,” he begins to backpedal before he pauses, chuckling to himself and wiping a pale hand down his face, much to your dismay. “Baby, please, listen to me when I say this.” He sighs, taking your hand. You weren’t upset at him, and he knew that. You weren’t just surprised by his uncalled for antics, like usual.

“I’m listening.” you pout, looking up into the bright eyes of your man. His hand squeezed yours and he sighs.

“He didn’t care.” He states, sounding just as surprised as you’re about to be.

“…what? So, you told him.?” You squint.

“No no, I was going to, but, before I could even say the man’s name he just straight up said that he didn’t care. According to him, he didn’t even know him all that well. He never saw him, and doesn’t care to, and he told me that he isn’t interested in whatever he has going on. He’s completely stoic.” Satoru explains the story, passionately shocked as if it was just the most mind boggling thing in the world.

You’re surprised too, unable to believe that a boy so young could be so… cutthroat. And about his own parents. Though, you took into consideration the circumstances between the two.

Though, if you were being honest, you didn’t really care much about the zenin either. More focused on the young boy.

“Well, where is he now? Is he in school? Does he have a home? Oh my goodness, how old is he now?”

Your questions don’t surprise Satoru, as you’re always one to worry too damn much about others.

“The kids fine.. he’s hellbent on being independent. And, if I’m not mistaken, he lives with someone. I heard a young girls voice when I was walkin’ away. A… sister maybe—“ he ponders, and you gasp, distraught.

“Oh, my goodness..” you press a hand to your heart, “Satoru, you have to do something. I mean, how old is he? About.. 6? That boy needs some stability. And if he does have a sister, so does she—“ you state firmly, and Satoru sighs.

“Honey, I’m sure they’re fine. He’s a tough kid.”

“Yeah. A kid, ‘Toru. Just because he’s “strong” and has some sorcerer ability, does not mean he’s safe. A lot of kids get their abilities at a young age. Including me.” You lift a brow, tilting your head knowingly. “And you. And that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need a… a figure, in his life.”

Satoru takes in your words, gnawing the inside of his cheek.

At his silence, you sigh and lean in, kissing his cheek and whispering against it.

“The least you can do is check up on him… like you did today. Get to know him a bit more, and about his situation, you know? Take him to the park, the arcade— ice cream, something, just—“ you sigh, and you feel the familiar weight of his hand sliding gently up your back to gently rub at your shoulder, as a touch of reassurance.

“Okay, oookay, my dear,” he hushes you with his words, trying to soothe your ramblings. “Always so passionate, my love.” He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your head. Then your nose. Then your lips before pulling back with a smile.

“I’ll keep an eye out for him, alright? I’ll kidnap him if I have to. I’ll be totally subtle about it, too.” He grins.

“Yeah..” your brows furrow and your expression drops, “why do I feel like you’re lying?”

He simply laughs again and scoops you up into his arms, peppering your face with kisses. Your cheek muscles tighten as your smile slowly grows at how much it tickles. You hug him back, knowing you’re stuck in the sorcerer’s grasp (not that you’re complaining) for the rest of the night.

You hum in delight, closing your eyes. You know your man will make the right choice.

September, 2007. Present day.

The rain continues to pour, thick raindrops slapping at each and every window pane. You and Satoru are sat on the couch, facing a tiny Megumi fushiguro who sits just angled from the couch, nursing a cup of hot chocolate, clad in some fresh new clothes that were just a bit too big for him. They were the smallest of your clothes that you could find and allow him to wear until his clothes were finished drying in the laundry room.

“…I guess I forgot my house key at school. Tsumiki’s at a sleep over, and I don’t know anyone else.”

You squint your eyes as you listen intently to the boys explanation as to why he has arrived here so abruptly. Such a coincidence that Satoru had given him the address just yesterday whilst on their little mochi excursion. You also can’t help but realize just how right Satoru was when he told you that Megumi is very nonchalant and stoic, unless he’s bickering with the older man.

“Man.. I’m sorry the days has been so hard on you. You know, you’re more than welcomed to stay here until the rain lets up!” You smile, resting a hand on satorus knee and patting it slightly, a silent cue to get him to add on.

“Of course! You’re welcomed here whenever ya want! The three of us will get along just well!” He smiles, animated and genuinely excited to have the new, tiny company.

“When the rain lets up tomorrow, we can head to the school and see if your key is there.

Megumi’s face shifts from blank to annoyed in a second.

“That’s just the thing..” he grumbles, “it’s Friday.”

For a second, the words don’t really make sense, until you think hard. They’re out of school.

“Oh, shit. School’s out for that little renovation period in the city, yeah?” You turn to Satoru. A small part of the city was closed for some slight improvements in the streets, meaning every building within that vicinity is meant to be closed for the time being.

“Oh, you’re right..” Satoru trails off. “And that’s supposed to be for—“

“The month.” The bundle of annoyance frowns harder. Both you and Satoru share a look.

“A month, huh.. ? surely your sister will be back by then, yes?” He asks, and Megumi freezes.

“Riiiight?” Satoru presses again, and Megumi huffs, dipping his head almost in shame.

“No…”

“No?” You question, “I thought she was just at a friend’s house?”

“I lied… she’s out the country for an exchange program. She’s staying for a quarter, and won’t be back until November.” He mumbles quickly, head still dropped. “Sorry.. I didn’t think this would happen.”

Your mouth drops open in shock, and you glance between Satoru and the smaller boy.

“Wh, what was the plan while she was gone?” You question. Who the hell was taking care of those two??

“Hm? What do you mean? Just the usual..” he lifts his head, face still a bit pouty in embarrassment. “Go to school, come straight home.”

“—alone? That’s extremely dangerous. What about food? Bills? Fucking, basic hygiene?” You question harder, and the other two can sense your growing frustration at the situation.

“I mean.. I eat at school..” he states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but he never realized how bad it sounded coming out of his own mouth. You feel your heart sink at the ridiculous idea that this boy and his sister were surviving off of nothing but school lunch. You didn’t know much about Toji fushiguro, or the woman he married, but what you did know was that no child deserved to starve and go hungry. Not when it could be prevented.

You look to Satoru, and to your relief, his face reflects the seriousness of the news.

“So, you’ve been scraping by.. how?” Satoru questions.

Megumi shrugs, suddenly not feeling too keen on drinking the hot chocolate you’ve prepared for him.

“Tsumiki usually deals with that stuff.”

“So what was the plan now that she’s away?”

There’s a slight pause, and the beat of silence is all you need to know before you grip Satoru’s bicep and give him a pleading look. He soothes your worried look with a kiss to the head before facing Megumi.

“Kid, where’s your sister?” Satoru asks, and the boy’s brows furrow.

“Some American school…” he mumbles, thinking hard. “New York, i believe. Other than the education, she wanted to find a better paying job. So that when she comes back, we’ll be set for the year.”

“Alright. First thing tomorrow, I’m getting on a plane and heading over there.” He states firmly, and you nod in agreement right along with him.

Megumi is surprised at just how… casually he could up and buy a plane ticket over seas. Was this dude made of money?

“I’m bringing her back, and it isn’t up to discussion as to where you two will be staying from now on.” Satoru stands from his spot beside you, immediately reaching into his back pocket to pull out his phone, typing furiously. He’d probably skip a day of class again, to which you’d have to make up an excuse for him to your teachers for the umpteenth time.

Megumi’s eyes follow Satoru as he bustles out of the room before shifting back to you.

There’s nothing but silence between the two of you for a moment. With the exception of the continuous rain from outside the home. Tiny nails scratch at the porcelain mug, almost nervously before he sets it down on the coffee table. You watch Megumi swallow as he gathers his next words, and as you take in his body language, you note that this is the most expressive he’s been since you’ve met him.

“Does that.. am I really staying?” He questions, and you’ve never seen him look so confused. Brows furrowed in pure disbelief.

You hum, nodding, “Satoru and I have made up our minds. You’re six, Megumi. Scraping by, it’s.. it’s no way for a boy like you to live. Your sister may be in a bit of a shock when she finds out, but I’m not backing down on this. I will not, in good conscience, let you and your sister stay alone.”

He continues to stare, as if he still didn’t believe you. And maybe he didn’t.

You sigh, standing up and approaching the longer chair he’s sat in and crouch down to his level.

And god, does Megumi hate it when people try to get on his level. To try and understand him, like they could ever understand whats going through his mind. As if anyone knows.

But the way you do it… he doesn’t feel the arrogance in the position from you, compared to other people. It doesn’t stop him from continuing his frown, but he feels more inclined to pay attention to what you’re about to say. Because… your eyes show no signs of deceit. Which is what Megumi looks for the most.

“Megumi…” you trail off.

“—Why?”

You go to speak, but he beats you to it. And you don’t need to ask again to understand his question.

“Because… because I care. We care, Satoru and I. Maybe we weren’t the best of friends with your father. And no, we don’t get anything out of doing what we’re doing for you. But who the hell cares when you’re living in a beat up home somewhere, Megumi? We want you safe.”

And it’s about as simple as that. You cared. And it seems Megumi excepts that answer.

He watches as you smile at him and move your hand up to ruffle his hair. He doesn’t flinch away— but there is a burning behind his eyes and an ache in his tiny heart that he can’t seem to explain to himself as it’s happening.

“I’m so sorry, Megumi.. for the way things are. But Satoru and I are gonna make it better, yes?”

He feels your hand slide from his spiky hair and to his cheek. The action is confusing until he realizes just how oddly warm they become. Confused, he goes to speak, but feels his voice is constricted, and his nose is nasally.

“Oh, megs..” you giggle a little, “don’t cry.”

Cry?

Was that what he was doing? Hell, he’s pretty sure that the last time he’s ever cried was when he was pushed out of the womb. He’s never cried, and the thought of breaking down in front of a stranger makes him hide his face in his much too large shirt— you giggle, a little louder this time as you scoop him up into your arms in a comforting hug. To which he accepts without any resistance.

“Oh, ‘gumi.. now I’m gonna cry!” You faux weep, pouting. Though the moment was definitely hitting you dead in the feels.

“Who’s cryin’? In here??” You hear from behind you.

Satoru walks up from behind, shock and an amused smile on his face as he watches the scene before him. His own heart aches at the sight of the little boy, but he knows this is a joyful moment rather than a sad one. Megumi was on the right path to living better.

You glance at the sorcerer who smiles, taking a seat on the arm of the couch and gently ruffling the boys hair as he continues to hide his blotchy face into his shirt.

Things were looking to be just fine.

──────

You and Satoru stand in the doorframe of the guest room, watching as Megumi shuffles into the small twin and under the blanket. You pout, leaning against Satoru’s chest as you speak,

“Sorry it’s not the best. We hardly ever use this room.”

To you, the room was probably the blandest in the house. Simply used for emergency. Nothing but a twin bed stuffed into the corner of the room, a cheap nightstand, and a lamp inhabited the space, much to your dissatisfaction. Your priorities is were to 1.) being Tsumiki back. And, 2.) accommodate to the two accordingly. Satoru squeezes your shoulder.

“One step at a time, babe. He’ll be just fine for the night! We two can stay in tomorrow and do some shopping with the card while I’m airborne, yes?” He presses a kiss to your cheek, and the words and touch comfort you.

“That sounds good… Megumi?” You ask.

“Sounds fine.” He shrugs nonchalantly, a huge contract to just and hour ago. “May I sleep now?”

“Oh, of course… here.” You whisper, shutting off the light for a moment. The room is pitch black, completely overcome with darkness for a moment. There’s some slight shuffling to be heard before the room lights up again— a nightlight.

The glow is a soft yellow, and reaches to the center of the room before fading out slightly.

“Ta-da! Think of it as a… welcoming gift.” Satoru chuckles, and you nod, hanging on his arm as you wait for megumi’s reaction.

And of course, he doesn’t. His face is about as blank as a sheet of paper. The silence makes you deflate a bit, smiling nervously and waving it off.

“You’re a big boy now, I know… it’s silly. I can shut it off—“

“No, no— please. It’s nice, thank you.” He says quickly, and moves to fluff out his pillow. Both you and Satoru share a look of excitement and take his pillow-fluffing as a cue to let the boy finally sleep.

“Right… goodnight, Megumi.” You and Satoru whisper in unison, slowly shutting the door.

And now that Megumi is completely alone, finally…

He lets the smile he’s been holding in ono his face, and lets the tears of relief and joy finally fall.

──────

taglist,,

@anything4yoongi @alpha-mommy69 @s4ikoo1 @moonchhu @kianatrg @emryb

[kumkaniudaku]

Amen

Summary: Terry and Patrice learn more about their love through life changing news on New Year’s Eve.

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!OC

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of Death

Inspired By: Ask #1 + Ask #2

MASTERLIST

Grief was a bitch. 

A mean, ugly, unwanted bitch that had settled beside Terry as an unwelcomed guest just when he thought that he'd banished it out of his life, never to return. Over two years of joy that he'd fought tooth and nail to maintain came crashing down once grief came strolling into town without warning. 

Mike was dead. He knew that. He'd reckoned with it, talked himself through the anniversary of his death once before, sent well-wishes to his aunt every time he could, cried in the shadows, mourned, lashed out, and sat in silence with the knowledge that his little cousin would never come through the door again. Mike wouldn't see another birthday. He wasn't around for the wedding or Christmas. They'd never see another football game together. Mike would never meet Nyla. 

That fact came as a sobering realization while Terry watched his only daughter's chest rise and fall as she slept peacefully in her crib for the first time all day. A cold running through her daycare had finally latched on to her fresh immune system, turning his usually jovial baby into a shell of herself. He told his higher-ups that he needed to take the day to care for her in his mother-in-law's stead, but what he really needed was time alone to deal with his uninvited guest. 

Leaning over the sturdy walnut railing keeping his little girl safely inside her crib, he watched her with the ghost of a smile on his lips. Mike would've loved her. Terry was sure of it. He'd make his way to Fayetteville at any opportunity and cause havoc, probably irritating Patrice but definitely doting on Nyla in a way that only he could. 

Tears that had been fighting to see the world all day pricked Terry's eyes yet again. He almost let them fall but found himself blinking them back once Patrice pushed open the door and poked her head inside. 

She smiled despite work wearing her thin and waved with her fingers. "Can I come in, or would that be too much?" 

"Of course, you can," he answered, trying to put on a brave face to hide the true turmoil inside. 

Seeing her stand there, her bright smile directed at him like he was the sun, moon, and stars, was the first time he'd felt anything other than the weight of regret. He needed her to come into the room. 

Tiptoeing, Patrice approached Terry and peered over the crib's railing to look at Nyla. "How was she," she whispered before softly touching her forehead to check for heat. "Doin' any better?" 

"A little. I got her to eat and play for a bit before the medicine kicked in. She should be out for the night and good enough to sit with your mom by the ceremony on Monday. But, we'll see." 

"Good. Thank you for taking the lead. I know she was happy to have you around." She took a second look at her pride and joy, then focused all her attention on Terry. Worry and sadness had found a home on his brow line as they remained furrowed in thought. She leaned her head on his forearm and looked up at him. "And what about my other baby? How was he today?" 

The date wasn't lost on Patrice. She noticed when Terry slowly retreated into himself the week before. She saw him looking at Mike's Instagram when he thought she wasn't paying attention. She heard the conversation with his aunt when he promised to come by and see her the next time he could make it to Baton Rouge, even though she knew that time wasn't coming. Every shift in his demeanor and thousand-yard stare showed that he was reliving a hellish time she couldn't protect him from. 

No amount of soothing could pull him out of his rut. But that wouldn't stop her from trying. 

Terry continued to stare down at Nyla as he answered. "I'm okay. Not too up, not too down." 

"You need anything?" Terry didn't respond with words once he finally tore his eyes away from their daughter to look at Patrice. He only shook his head. "Can I give you a hug at least?" 

His first dose of physical affection for the day felt like the wind was gently placed back into his lungs as Patrice pulled him closer by his shoulders. His hands found her waist first, giving the spot a short squeeze before allowing his arms to fully encircle her body. 

"I love you. You know that?" 

"I know." That was the one thing he was sure of. His heart and mind were splintered into a million pieces, but he knew Patrice was there to help him put each one back in their proper place. His lips found her temple for a lingering kiss as he closed his eyes to ward off the sadness, still trying to take center stage. "I, um…I... didn't have a good day today…" Terry struggled with the words, opening and closing his mouth in hopes that something would come out while Patrice listened to him try to articulate his thoughts. A deep breath and closed eyes helped him settle before he spoke. "I could use some time together. Whatever you have tonight, I'll take it. I know you have to be up early tomorrow, so even an hour is –" 

His words were cut short by a simple kiss on his cheek. Patrice pulled back to look at him and flashed a reassuring smile. "Give me a few minutes to get changed, and you have me for however long you need me. I'll stay up late and everything. Dasia will understand if I cancel my hair appointment for tomorrow."

"I don't want you to do that." 

"We'll play it by ear," she answered to douse the early flames of a disagreement. "Twenty minutes. You can time me." 

Terry nodded in understanding and silently agreed to let Patrice out of his sight when he needed her most. Whether she was gone for 30 seconds or three days, the time away felt slow. 

Terry tried and quickly tired of distracting himself in Nyla's nursery before quietly slipping out and taking the trek to wait for Patrice like a lost puppy.

He settled into the plush velvet chair in the corner and sighed with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Closed eyes heightened his sense of hearing, giving him full access to Patrice's singing in the shower. 

Mike would've loved the Patrice he heard so much about. He'd call her 'big sis' and annoy her the way little brothers do. They'd argue endlessly but still find time for secret handshakes and inside jokes. He'd finally have someone on his side to pester Terry and receive sound advice from when the going got tough. They may have taken him in as their overgrown first child. They could've worked together to get him on the right path and save his life. 

Unfortunately, Terry would never know. The not knowing left the door wide open for sadness to creep back in. 

He breathed deep and tried to will grief away with Patrice's voice as a lullaby in the background. And for a moment, it complied. The dark, heavy cloud slipped off his back and down to his feet with every exhale, lightening the weight on his arms and shoulders until he felt close to a Terry who was safe, sound, and far from the troubles of his past. 

Mike would want that. He'd like to know what Terry had going on as the last person expected to settle down into a family man. He'd probably poke fun at his older cousin for attending birthing classes and fawning over ruffled outfits in Target when what he knew of Terry was brooding, reserved, and quietly menacing. Mike had seen his cousin kick up dust with the worst of them. Seeing Terry as a man who wouldn't so much as cough too loud if his wife or daughter was around would be a sight. 

As grief slowly packed its things and headed for the door, his comfort emerged from the steaming bathroom, looking like a lighthouse in a raging storm. 

Patrice's humming paused once she noticed Terry sitting in the corner. "Missed me," she teased, drawing a small, dry chuckle from her husband as she made her way to their dresser. "You could've joined if you wanted."

"That's alright. I know you need your time to decompress.” He gestured toward the garment in her hand. “Need help with that?"

She could've put her clothes on with no assistance, but Patrice knew that Terry wouldn't have asked if he didn't need the distraction. She granted his covert request for her attention by quickly plucking matching pieces from her sleepwear drawer and placing them in his outstretched hands. 

They spent time in comfortable silence while he slid soft cotton up her legs and then helped her into her shirt, kissing random spots of exposed skin along the way. "I didn't ask about your day. I'm sorry. I got a lot of…other stuff on my mind. How was work?" 

"It was work. Nothing too important. Glad it's the weekend. Two more days, and I get to see my first graduating class of freshmen that I taught. Isn't that crazy? I'm getting old, huh?" She laughed by herself. 

Terry avoided eye contact despite his faint smile, preferring to tie the drawstring at her waist in a neat bow like she preferred. "Never old. Only better."

"You're too sweet." Patrice cuddled him close when he was done and rubbed a spot at the nape of his neck to soothe him into closing tired, heavy lids. "I know it's tough, but I promise you'll be okay, babe. The sadness isn't gonna go away, but you'll learn to live with it. You'll learn to make space for all those feelings inside you at once. And I'll be here when you need someone else to hold some of them, too." 

Terry sighed. "I'm not tryin' to be a burden for you, P. We have enough going on as is." 

"You're not a burden, Terry; you're my husband – my friend."

To be accepted with all of the muddy waters traversing his mind and heart felt like too much to ask for in Terry's mind, especially from someone who'd spent so much time wading through all his bullshit without complaint. He owed her his life, the full weight of his love, until the day God deemed their time together but a beautiful memory forever etched in boxed trinkets and old photos. 

He wanted to give her the moon as she stood stroking his pain away with her fingertips but settled for kissing his way up her sternum on the way to her lips. 

One day, when other emotions had dwindled, and he was feeling more like himself, Terry would lay his head on Patrice's lap and tell her about the atrocities that had shaped the time before they reacquainted. That day wasn't today, and all he could think of was pouring his gratitude for her graciousness into making sure she was satisfied in the one area he could control. 

Shorts that had only been on her body for mere minutes found a new home on the floor alongside her top. Patrice was weightless in Terry's arms as he carried her to their shared bed, his lips attached to hers for needy kisses that felt more like life rafts to keep him above rough waters than affectionate gestures. 

Patrice questioning if he was sure about his actions fell on deaf ears, and soon, all of her inquiries became lost whispers in a room swirling with the sounds of desperate lovemaking. Terry left his mark on her neck and chest while he worked himself out of his clothes. 

His voice came in gravelly against the shell of her ear. "I fuckin' love you, Treece. Don't ever leave me." He was pleading and caught somewhere between raw desire and tremendous despair. "Please, don't ever leave me." 

"I'm not going anywhere, baby," Patrice reassured without hesitation.

Terry left soft kisses and big, salty tears on Patrice's cheeks once their foreheads met. "Please. I need you, Patrice." Grief was back and taunting him in his ear with its partner in crime, Doubt. She'll leave, just like everyone else. You don't deserve her. Lies filled his head with no shut-off valve in sight. The tears turned into sobs he couldn't ignore with breathing techniques or a change in his thought process. "I'm sorry. I just need you. I can't do this by myself. Don't leave." 

Patrice quickly cast amorous feelings aside to wrap her arms tight around Terry. "Woah, woah, TJ. I'm here! I'm right here." 

Grief was a bitch. Even when he threw his best punch at it, grief always hit Terry back with a haymaker that left him staggering and woozy in defeat. 

The moments after his heaving, hyperventilating meltdown became a blur of Patrice's soft-spoken instruction, lavender bubble bath, and candlelight. When he came back from a mental trip to Shelby Springs to live out alternate realities, where he emerged victorious with Mike by his side, he found himself nestled between his wife's legs, surrounded by fresh hot water and scented white foam. 

Patrice moved behind him, plastic crinkling as she peeled the back off of something he couldn't see before bringing her wet hands around to his face. "These'll help with the puffiness," she declared like an experienced esthetician informing a client. "I used to use this every other day in grad school. Cry all you need. No one will ever know by morning." 

A 'thank you' tried to rise from his throat, but Terry quickly found his voice too hoarse to say anything worth a damn. Patrice didn't mind, though. She was content to press another cold patch underneath his eye before grabbing the shampoo rinse cup resting near the baby monitor at the edge of the tub. 

Terry closed his eyes as the warm water washed over his short curls, sitting neatly behind a sharp hairline and tapered sides. His hair glistened under flickering lights provided by small flames in glass components. Patrice used her acrylic nails to work magic against his scalp, turning shampoo into a mountain of suds to cleanse the pain. 

"I swear every time my Nana and mama scrubbed my head, I felt like a new person after. One time, I was going through the worst friend breakup I've ever had, and by the time Mommy finished with me, I didn't even know that girl's name. Didn't even matter anymore." 

"What happens after the scrub, though? You just…go back to normal?" 

Patrice chuckled as she ran another stream of water across his head to start on a second lather. "Hell no. That's where the patches come in." Terry allowed himself his first genuine laugh all day, taking a stone out of grief's stronghold. His fingertips ran back and forth over the wet skin on Patrice's legs as he sat with his eyes closed in a battle for his sanity. They let the quiet ripple of water around them fill the humid air in the room, preferring to enjoy the feel of skin on skin over extraneous conversation until Patrice began running conditioner through each of his thick strands. "I love when you wear your hair like this. The haircuts are nice, but when it's grown out, it reminds me of young you." 

"Hot-headed, couldn't buckle down enough to work through being mad at not getting scholarships to still go to college me?" Terry scoffed, finding the notion of a younger, far less polished him being someone worth missing. 

Patrice shrugged. "I didn't know that Terry," she confessed. The stories of his anger felt like fables to Patrice. The only Terrence Richmond she'd ever known was sweet as homemade banana pudding after Sunday service and a whip-smart boy with the world at his feet. "My Terry and his little fro was always kind. Always noble and lending a helping hand. And now he's got a baby girl in the other room with a head full of her daddy's curls after she looked like Charles Barkley for three months." Terry smiled at the mention of Nyla and how she'd inherited at least one part of him after taking her mother's entire face. Patrice watched him reach for the monitor and bring it closer to his face for a look at his second favorite girl before she continued. "My Terry is who Mike loved. I never met him, but I know he saw the best in you. We all do, baby." 

More silence sat heavy as Terry wiped away fresh tears gathering at his waterline. Of course, they'd see the best in him when he couldn't see the best in himself. 

Grief came knocking again with Doubt in tow, but Terry ignored them to slide deeper into the water and rest his heavy head on Patrice's chest before speaking. "Mike and me…we used to get in a lot of trouble at my granny's house." 

"Yeah? Two badass kids, huh? Tell me about it."

"One time," he started, already smiling at the memory. "We got her beagle, Satchel, sick because we kept feeding him shrimp out of the gumbo. He threw up all over the back porch, and Mike got so scared that he told on us, thinking we wouldn't get the switch if we were honest." 

"Did y'all?" 

Terry laughed and nodded. "Wore our asses out. I hated that damn dog for the rest of his life. It wasn't his fault, but I was just a kid." 

"You knew better, though." 

"Whose side are you on right now?" Terry asked, looking up at Patrice with faux offense on his face. 

She giggled back. "Okay, my bad!" A final round of water cascaded down Terry's shoulders and back, washing the ugly soot of regret off of his grief to reveal the love making up its inner parts. Patrice kissed his wet hair and held her lips there even as she spoke. "Can you tell me more about Mike? I wanna know him through you."

The invitation erupted a dormant volcano deep within his Terry's heart.

He told stories of his cousin and their time together until the lavender-scented bubbles evaporated into tepid bath water. Until grief felt more like gratitude for memories made. Until Patrice's stomach ached from laughter. Until the clock struck midnight, and tears started to roll again. Until Patrice had wiped his entire face with her delicate fingertips several times over without a single inkling of exasperation or judgement while they lay face to face beneath cold sheets. And until she finally closed her eyes from exhaustion and turned her back for some shut-eye. 

Then, he talked to God. A long list of thank you's emerged from his heart. A thank you for keeping him alive, one for time spent with Mike, one for his daughter, and another for the only person keeping him afloat when all he wanted to do was drown. 

Terry looked at Patrice and smiled. Light from the television illuminated her face, highlighting her knitted brow and slight frown as she lay in the throes of a dream he could only imagine was vivid enough to evoke such a clear expression of disgust. The thought alone produced a genuine smile. 

Clicking the power button, Terry found himself in complete darkness, fighting for the words to finish his prayer. He sighed and looked back toward Heaven. "She's perfect, God. Even when she isn't. If you never give me anything else, thank you for Patrice."

"Hm?"

Patrice's groggy response to her name being called made Terry roll over on his side to calm her back into sleep. "Nothing, baby," he spoke into her shoulder before pressing a kiss on her skin. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, earning a content sigh. "I was just praying for you."

She smiled without opening her eyes. "Well, amen to that."

Tears tickled Terry's waterline, this time filled with overwhelming gratitude. A blessing like no other. 

"Yeah. Amen to that."

-----

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[sweetheartbitesb4ck]

part one || part two || part three || this is part four

The weeks following your first 'date' with Simon were full of going on little walks together, but most of all? The pings, to say the least. He would text you so often it came as a shock to you he even had a job. You found it amusing, sure, maybe even annoying, but you hadn't anticipated the sheer silence when he was 'away with work', as he put it.

You had guessed that meant deployed or something of the sorts... and it worried you, yeah, but your feelings for him were still new and you didn't want to get hurt if anything was to happen.

You'd been excited when he'd promised to write to you a few days before he left, but as the days flew by with nothing more than some bills, bank statements and late birthday cards dropping through the letter box it occurred to you that Simon Riley had been too blown away when he first saw you in your house to remember the road name, and far to drunk when he first spoke to you to remember the number on your front door.

So Simon sat there when he wasn't fighting or in briefings and had downtime (which was rare) writing letters he knew he couldn't send away, partly because it was a risk to send stuff away and partly because he would just blank on your god damn address every single time.

He didn't even have his phone because of something to do with trackers and intel and it was all a bit of a fuzz of unconfirmed information that Simon had explained to on a walk a few days before his departure.

This is what worried you. You obviously knew the dangers, and you two weren't even 'official' yet, but you would have liked to be updated. You couldn't help but feel a bit sick when your mind travelled to the horrors his job could boast.

Prior to his deployment, you and Simon had got to know each other a little better, which only made your nerves worse now you had more of a bond, plus you had gotten to see the less flustered version of him. You'd mostly talked over the phone but had also gone on a few walks together. It felt weird; missing someone you'd so quickly fallen for. You could only hope as the days blurred into weeks then into months.

Then, two months later, Simon was back. He'd been resting and getting medical support for a day or two before he journeyed home, and his first thought? It was to retrace his steps down that one road to that house with the open window that had changed everything. He could have slept, unpacked, done anything, but all he wanted to do was to see you.

You groan as you hear a knock against the door... you'd just about drifted off after hours and hours of tossing and turning, your head reluctant to rest. Trudging downstairs, you pull on a hoodie over your pyjamas. "Who the fuck..?" You murmur, clicking on the hallway light and unbolting the door, ready to dive back into bed.

"What?" You grumble as you swing the door just a crack open, your eyes widening and breath hitching at seeing that tall frame and skull mask. You slam it shut, fumbling to unlatch the door and burst it open, flying into the bulky man's arms and screaming.

Simon grins under the balaclava, stumbling backwards slightly as you bounce onto him. "You alright?" He asks, his voice so nonchalant even as you wrap your arms around him. Probably still trying to seem cool for you.

You pull back, face still covered in shock. "Fucking alright? That's all you have to say?" You cry, voice a few pitches higher than usual. "Fuck, Simon... you said you would write!" You mumble, leaning back in to hug him. Part of you wanted to say there forever, holding him there and squeezing him as hard as you could, but you knew you should probably invite him in. So that's what you do.

His mind flicks back to Soap's so called relationship advice, the words "honesty is key" in that loud Scottish accent rattling through his mind. "Okay fine," He grunts, avoiding eye contact. "I hate tea. Can't bloody stand the stuff."

"Well," Ghost replies, shoving his hands into the big pockets of his tactical jacket as he steps inside, shutting the front door behind him and following you to the kitchen "I didn't know your address," He admits, smirking as you raise an eyebrow at him and snicker. "Oh yeah," You chuckle slightly, trying to refrain from smothering the poor bloke as he takes a seat at your table. "Tea?" You tilt your head and glance at the kettle.

"I hate t-" Simon bites the inside of his cheek and curses under his breath. Fuck... He thinks, realising him lying about loving the drink would probably wean him into having it regularly. "Tea's great," He nods, noting how you raise your eyebrows, expression sceptical.

Simon nods, rubbing his eyes sarcastically. "It's probably too late to walk home, aye," He says, eyebrows raised.

You huff with amusement, flicking the kettle off and rifling through your cabinet. "I'm out of coffee,"

You and Simon chatted for hours, sitting at the table. At first, he was jittery, but he soon relaxed, trying to stop staring at you, although this was hard as he finds you so breathtakingly perfect.

A few hours later, you tilt your head and smile at Ghost as he yawns. "You must be tired," You say softly, leaning on the counter.

"Yeah," You respond, scratching your neck with a mock confusion. "Lucky I have a double bed, eh?"

And with that, the two of you curled up on the mattress, Ghost pulling you towards him, arms firm around you as he let the gentle rise and fall of your chest guide him to sleep.

"You're sure?" Asks Ghost, his nervous expression from the coffee shop returning to his face. He was still terrified of scaring you away, but wanted nothing more than to collapse onto your bed and just hold you. You nod, smiling gently. "Come on." Taking your hand, Simon follows you upstairs to your cosy room, allowing himself to relax, stop being awkward. The decoration alone made him feel at home, probably because it shone with your personality.

Love. Simon was sure that's what that feeling was... the one that had seized his whole being since he first set eyes upon you.

Never in a million years would he have predicted this if he was asked about his future a few months ago, but here you were, two awkward and unsure people falling in love from nowhere.

thank you sm for reading! I hope you enjoyed part four..! if anyone wants a part five, I'll most likely do it, ( I just need to figure out what I'd write... probably something about the letters) but yea if u want that just let me know.... also, feel free to make any asks for fics u would like to see :)

sorry if my posting is irregular for a while! I'm back at uni and work after the Christmas break so very busy

[pomefioredove]

Hi, can I have a sugar cookie, #16, with chocolate drizzle?

o7

order #16, sugar with chocolate drizzle

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ it'll pass

tropes: exes to lovers characters: leona additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is yuu, post-nrc, a little bittersweet, for those thinking they wouldn't forgive him and would marry rook instead, I understand, yes this is a fleabag reference <3

That question, that bitter uncertainty that had caged itself in your chest, behind your ribs, by your heart, had not passed.

It will pass, you had said, your friends had said, even he had said it himself.

It'll pass.

And then, the question. But what if it doesn't?

What if you never forget Leona Kingscholar?

What will you do with this love, now that there's no one to give it to?

It becomes grief, and pain. Bitterness, anger, resentment, longing, desire.

It becomes a secret, it becomes a question.

But what if it doesn't?

You had, at first, slept too much; but then that reminded you of him, and you stopped sleeping altogether.

You began writing, not fiction, nor letters, but your thoughts, if only to get them on paper and out of your head.

Most days, they were nonsense. A procession of words and feelings with no meaning, nor sense, nor relationship between one another.

Bird, television, cold, knocking, tired, tired, tired...

It always ended with that.

And it always began with Why? Why, what? Why did he leave you? Why didn't you stop him? Why can't you move on? Why any of these things?

It was strange.

You were the one destined to leave. When you and Leona fell in love, in your years at Night Raven College, that threat loomed over you both.

One day, you would leave.

Leona still became yours. He was the one constant in your life, the only person you could really rely on. He cared about you, more than he'd ever admit.

Likewise, he had never said that he wanted you to stay, but you knew he did.

It didn't matter. Crowley never found a way home, or perhaps he did, and didn't tell you, but again, it didn't matter. You graduated NRC, and went to Leona.

You were happy, too.

And then he was suddenly betrothed to a duchess, to have a family he never wanted, in a position he resented, and that was that.

It'll pass.

That's all he had said when you told him you loved him.

"I love you,"

"It'll pass,"

You wanted him to stay, like he did to you.

It'll pass.

You became despondent, sleepless. You found shelter and companionship in the form of an affluent Rook Hunt, when you had no one else to call.

But he, too, must leave. For months, the villa is empty, and it's only you and your disconnected words and your paper and the night.

One day, there's a letter for you.

Not for Rook, or for the household, but for you.

It has no name, no initials, no return address. It's not signed. It's typed. It says:

French, confused, nosy, prick, soft, missing, quiet.

So on, so forth. Hundreds of those words, meaningless and senseless and yet special, precious, worthy.

You hold the letter to your heart and the ink smudges on your sweaty hands.

There's another the next day. Quiet, manners, hate, missing, windows, dark.

And one more after that.

Boring, empty, doves, missing, water, spoon.

They come, one after the other, until Rook returns at the end of the month, freckled from the sun and tired from his work.

"Ah... an admirer?" he had asked, listening to you read the letters aloud.

"They aren't from you?"

"From me? Heh. I like to think my prose is a little more cohesive, non?"

You wake the next morning to breakfast, courtesy of Rook, and a letter, courtesy of the wind.

This one only has one word on it.

Sorry.

No more come after that.

The news that Prince Leona had broken off his engagement to the wealthy duchess reaches you in your remote room, through the sharp eyes and upturned lips of a certain Rook Hunt.

Unhappy, was the word, this time.

It was bitterly poetic. Unhappy. It reminded you of something you had written, but when you went looking for that, you were met with an empty sheet of stamps, and a drawer with no paper in it.

"You must forgive me," Rook had said, "I could not bear to see you both suffer so."

The mysterious letters, your "admirer", suddenly make sense.

The next day, another letter comes. But this one is special; it's attached to a hand, that of a certain Leona Kingscholar.

This one, too, has a full sentence.

I love you too.

[naturallykenma]

wordless 'i love you's'

a/n: it's me, hi! i'm *trying* to get back into writing again, so here we are! please reblog/leave feedback!! i'll probs do more of these later but for now, enjoy! inspired by these prompts !

warnings: general: 18+ only due to implied nsfw in oliver's part, reader has long-ish hair in oliver & nagi's part, petnames (love, beautiful, sweets, pretty, pretty thing, angel) / sae: none, just fluff / oliver: implied fwb relationship, mutual pining, implied sexual activity, a little angst, a little fluff / rin: none, just fluff / nagi: mentions of reader having a long/bad day, established relationship but in the semi-early stage :)

featuring: sae, rin, oliver, nagi <3

sae: traveling long distances just to see them.

it’s 3am and sae is fighting sleep in the back of an uber on his way to you. he wasn’t planning on coming back for a mere weekend, but he missed you more than he could handle while he was away. he just needed to see you, even if it was just for a weekend. 

he couldn’t help but wake up a little bit as the uber turned onto your street, excitement filling his body. he knew you would be asleep when he entered, but he didn’t care. he would get to see you and hold you, and that’s all that mattered. 

sae entered your shared apartment quietly, careful not to wake you. he couldn’t help but smile softly at the sight of your sleeping figure in bed, curled up on his side, wearing one of his shirts. he quickly changed out of his travel clothes, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and carefully sliding into bed with you. 

he froze as you shifted, mumbling a soft “sae?” as you pressed yourself against his chest. 

“‘s just me, love.” he whispered softly. “go back to sleep.”

he couldn’t help but sigh in relief when you nodded softly and curled up in his arms. finally, sae allowed himself to be consumed by sleep. he knew he’d have to leave in three days, but right now he didn’t care. what mattered was that he was home and that he was with you. 

oliver: tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.

you never stayed over oliver’s after one of your sessions. you stuck to routine. you would go to his apartment, fool around, and then leave. each time you left with a hole in your heart and a note in your brain not to fall for his sweet talk and charm next time he reached out. yet the next time he reached out, without fail, you wound up back in his bed. so how did you wind up staying over this particular night? 

“oliver, ‘s time for me to go.” you whispered, hand tracing shapes on oliver’s chest while the two of you were catching your breath. “i gotta get going.”

“no you don’t.” he hummed, draping an arm across your back and pulling you closer to him. “just stay. for tonight. you’re falling asleep on me, sweets. promise ‘m not that bad.” 

he wasn’t wrong. you were fighting sleep. 

“it’s not that oliver, it’s- nevermind.” you sighed, stopping yourself from confessing your love to the soccer player. “ okay. i’ll stay. just for tonight.” 

oliver hummed happily, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, watching you drift off to sleep, covered in nothing but his t-shirt. he thought you looked so beautiful like this, laying on his chest with your hair spread out behind you. but oliver couldn’t tell you he loves you. he couldn’t risk ruining the relationship with you that he currently has. 

oliver groaned as he felt a cold wave wash over him. you were no longer in his arms. glancing over at where you were in his bed, oliver frowned as he noticed the sheets were no longer on your body, rather they were strewn about around you. 

“oh sweets,” he sighed, moving to tuck you back into the sheets, smiling when you sighed in relief, shifting closer to him unconsciously. 

no, oliver couldn’t tell you that he loves you just yet. but he could make sure that you were comfortable while you slept until he could tell you how he felt. 

rin: giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed.

rin sighed as he heard the blaring of his alarm. you were still fast asleep in his arms, causing rin to pause and admire your beauty before forcing himself to get up and get ready for practice. 

he went through his usual morning routine, including a jog and some yoga. he hated having to leave you. he kept telling himself that he’d come back later, and that in all likelihood, you’d stop by to drop off a lunch for him. that was his motivation each and every day. 

rin stepped into your shared room, smiling softly as the sight of you waking up slowly. he made his way over to your bed, kneeling down so he was eye level with you, smoothing your hair back with his hand. 

“hey sleepyhead.” he said softly. he didn’t mean to stare, but he couldn’t help it. he thought you looked absolutely beautiful in the morning. 

“hi rin.” you whispered, moving his hand from your head and lacing your fingers together. “off to practice?” 

“yeah. i’ll be back for dinner, okay?” he told you, smiling when you nodded softly. 

“kay. have a good day.” you smiled as rin leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against your lips. 

“have a good day, beautiful. see you later.” 

nagi: helping brush their hair after a shower.

nag was laying on his bed playing a game on his phone while waiting for you to return from your shower. he knew you had a long day at work, he could tell by the text you sent. none of the usual emojis or cute smiley faces you used were present in your messages, and he could tell that the underlying tone of the messages was exhaustion. 

you returned to nagi’s apartment, where you had been staying as of late, and greeted him quickly before heading to the shower. you needed to wash away this awful day. 

when you returned from your shower, you looked visibly tired. your hair was towel dried, nagi could tell. and by the way you attempted to climb into bed with him without brushing your hair, nagi could tell you were exhausted. 

“mhmm pretty, don’t lie down jus’ yet.” nagi mumbled, shushing you as you whined in protest. “sit up, angel, lemme brush your hair. don’t want your hair to be all tangled tomorrow.” 

nagi positioned you so that you were sitting up on the side of your bed and grabbed your brush, softly bringing it through your hair. the two of you sat in silence as nagi brushed your hair. nagi put the brush down when he finished, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your head, but paused when he heard you sniffle, worry infiltrating his veins. 

“what’s wrong, angel? did i do something wrong?” he asked softly, sighing in relief when you shook your head. 

“no, sei. just a long day. thanks for brushing my hair, it felt nice.” you sniffled. nagi nodded, though you couldn’t see him with your back facing him. 

“wanna watch me try and clear this level? sometimes helps me when ‘m stressed. helps when i’m with my pretty thing too…but if you wanna be alone that’s ok too.” nagi said quietly. he hoped you didn’t want to be alone. he wanted to cuddle with you and try to cheer you up. he hated it when you were sad. 

“sounds perfect, sei. wanna cuddle.” you mumbled, turning around and pressing yourself into his chest, and placing a kiss on his cheek as the two of you laid down. “thanks, sei. love you.” 

he hummed, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “anything for my pretty.” 

[dixonsbrat]

𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩 — send in any character from my masterlist + a prompt from one of the lists ( fluff , angst , smut ) for a blurb.

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜ with babygirl daryl dixon <33

── .✦  𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 ┆ 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐧

𝐢𝐧 𝐰��𝐢𝐜𝐡 ; you see daryl smile for the first time in a while.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ; daryl dixon x reader , alexandria era, just lots of fluff.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ; 1.5k .ᐟ

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ; this was only supposed to be a lil blurb but i got carried away writing for my scrumdidlyumpcious mans *sighs dreamily*

you were sitting alone on the front porch as the rest of alexandria slept soundlessly around you. the air was warm against your skin with only the slightest breeze. it was the perfect night to sit under the stars and just let yourself breathe for once.

though, the small moment of peace is interrupted when you hear footsteps coming up behind you. they were soft against the wood, yet making it creak beneath them, and you don’t need to turn to know who it was.

daryl slowly sat down beside you, sinking onto the step you were on, and leaning his head against the pillar behind him. he looked tired, more tired than usual. dark circles encapsulated his otherwise icy blue eyes, and there was a slumpiness to his shoulders.

"can't sleep?" you tilt your head to the side slightly, turning so that you too were leaning against a pillar now and facing him onward.

“nah,” he murmured, his drawl thick and heavy with exhaustion. it was clear that something was weighing down on him. perhaps the same thing that had even been disrupting his sleep.

you give it a moment to see if he would tell you what was wrong on his own accord, but this was daryl, and he wasn't one to talk about his feelings or express his troubles without prompting. he rarely spoke much anymore as it was, not compared to how he used to anyway.

watching as his gaze pans off to your surroundings, taking in the other houses along the street and the trees that were rustling in the wind, you can’t help but wonder what’s got him so stuck in his head. there was a clear distance in his eyes that you had only ever seen a few times before, but there was no telling what could be the cause of it.

eventually, you gently nudge his leg with your foot to get his attention, "what’s going on in that big ole head'o yours? and don't tell me it’s 'nothing'."

daryl’s eyes flickered towards you as you nudged his leg, as if being pulled back to reality for a brief moment. he looked away again, the darkness outside seeming to be easier to focus on than actually having to talk. he knew it was only because you cared and he, of course, didn’t want to worry you. you already worried about him enough as it was.

“it’s just…” he begins after a few moments, but stops, shaking his head. it was clear by the tension in his jaw that he was really bothered by whatever it was.

"hey, you can talk to me." you say, offering him solace for his thoughts.

he glances over at you, seeing the genuine concern in your eyes. he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid telling you, not when he knew how stubborn you could be and that you probably wouldn’t leave him alone until he gave you some sort of an explanation. he takes a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts into words before responding.

“it’s just… it’s been a lot,” he finally mutters, his voice low and gruff in the air.

you sit forward now, no longer leaning on the pillar behind you as you rest your hands in your lap, "what has?"

he rubs a hand over his face, frustrated, though not at you. never at you. his shoulders slump a bit more and it makes him look even more exhausted. “everything,” he answers after a short pause, the word simple enough, but you knew well enough that he wasn’t talking about just his tired state. he shakes his head, looking back out towards the small settlement, not really focusing on anything in particular. “jus’ feelin’ a bit… weighed down lately. i guess.”

you nod along softly as he speaks, taking in his words and letting him know that you were listening, "is there anything i can do to help?"

he can’t help but feel a swell of warmth in his chest as you offer your assistance. you always cared so much, cared about him. it made his heart feel full for the first time in a while. but he was stubborn, and even now it was difficult for him to admit that he needed support sometimes. the feeling of being a burden loomed over him constantly as that’s what he was accused of being growing up.

he shook his head slightly, still not looking at you, though a small part of him wanted to. “you do enough,” he mumbled.

“daryl, i’m serious. what can i do to help?” you move forward on the step a little, your knees hitting his now. “do you want me to take up some of your runs? will that help make you feel better?”

his brow furrows as you press the question again, his jaw tensing. he felt stuck between letting you help and being his stubborn self that tried to push everything away. though hearing you offer to take up some of his runs, a part of him considered accepting, which surprised even himself.

he was silent for a moment before speaking again in a hushed, gruff voice, the words almost being strained from his mouth, “i don’t… i don’t wanna ask things of you.”

“don’t be silly. i care about you, and i don’t want to see you run yourself into the ground.” you place a hand on his knee and give it a little squeeze. you hated how stubborn he could be, how he always pushed away the help that he clearly so desperately needed. “you do that and then who else am i going to annoy, huh?”

daryl stiffens a bit at the touch of your hand on his knee. it’s unexpected and he could feel the warmth through his jeans. he knew you wanted to help him and he knew you cared, but he was too used to being self-sufficient. yet, there was something about you, something that made him want to let his guard down and accept you. to allow your kindness to seep through the many walls that he’d built over the years.

so, after a short pause, he lets out an exhausted sigh and the faintest smile graces his lips, “mhm, cause i’m the only one that puts up with ya.”

"okay, wow. rude." you scoff a laughter, and shove his knee with the hand that was still on it. you let out a small sigh after a moment, before meeting daryl’s gaze once more. you don’t say anything, not for a second, you just wanted to take him in. "y'know, i don't think i've ever seen you smile. not like that anyway.”

he was surprised when you shoved his knee, more surprised by the fact that he didn’t expect to enjoy it. he lets out a small huff of a laugh at your reaction. though, the moment is short lived when you mention his smile and it quickly fades, the tension from earlier returning to his jaw.

“yeah, well, i ain’t much of a smilin’ kinda guy,” he says, shrugging his shoulders as if it was nothing.

you let your gaze fall to your lap, your fingers idly playing with a loose thread on your pants. “maybe you should be. you have a nice smile,” you shrug, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks immediately.

daryl’s heart suddenly seems to jump inside his chest at your comment, the words catching him off guard. no one had ever said that he had a nice smile before. though, coming from you, it seemed to hit him hard in a way that he had never felt before.

the smallest touch of pink spreads across his cheeks and the tips of his ears as he glances to the side, avoiding your gaze as you look back up at him. “shut up,” he mumbled under his breath, the words without any malice just more embarrassed than anything.

“i’m being serious. i like your smile,’ you admit, causing not only yours, but daryl’s heart to race even more.

the honesty in your statement causes him to look back at you, his heart slamming against his chest. the sight of how sincere you are causes his stomach to twist and yet, he feels as if he could melt into the wooden steps beneath him.

“… shut up,” he says again, though it’s said with less embarrassment and more just overwhelmed feelings, and the faintest hint of a smile returns to his lips.

you just shake your head, and roll your eyes, at his reaction. he was so cute whenever he got flustered, and you enjoyed the fact of knowing you were the one that had caused it. though, you decide not to push him any further and leave it, letting yourselves enjoy the rest of the quiet before you knew you had to eventually head back inside.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

I'm craving Honkai waifus, so...Silver Wolf, Stelle and Firefly snuggling or just doing soft things with their S/O after a busy day!

(H:SR) Silver Wolf, Stelle, March 7th, and Firefly relaxing with their S/O

Silver Wolf simply lays in her bed after a mission, not really in the mood to sit on the computer or anything else.

And unsurprisingly, pulls out her phone, dragging S/O with her to either use as a makeshift pillow, or lean against them.

Silver Wolf kicked off her shoes near her bed as S/O leaned against the bed, an arm wrapping around her while she scooted in closer.

Once situated, Silver Wolf exhales in relief seeing that she was in time to log in for her dailies.

(S/O) "...You sounded more concerned about getting that login streak than you were about the mission."

She scoffed, eagerly tapping the screen's prompts.

(Silver Wolf) "Getting the materials needed for this is a pain in the butt. I'll take whatever I can get for free, this game is grindy enough as it is."

S/O rolled their eyes but nevertheless smiled.

(S/O) "Things go well then?"

Silver Wolf shrugged, eyes shifting over to her S/O as her game was loading.

(Silver Wolf) "Yeah, pretty boring though. It was basically a 1-Star mission, at best."

S/O chuckled as she got more comfortable, quickly hearing the familiar tune of her game's menu.

(Silver Wolf) "Gonna do some singleplayer stuff for tonight."

S/O just nodded, understanding Silver Wolf's need to decompress and the two enjoyed a blissful silence. Apart from the...odd noises from her game.

(S/O) "...Silver Wolf is your character moaning?-"

(Silver Wolf) "Climbing a mountain."

(S/O) "And you gotta have that at full volume?"

(Silver Wolf) "Yup."

Stelle yawned loudly as she flopped onto her bed after finishing the rest of her room's renovations.

It was a long and arduous journey, but now she had a proper part of the Astral Express fully to call her own!

She had finished an impromptu celebration with the rest of the crew, understandably giving her some time alone to relax.

Though, she wasn't entirely alone. A fact made known when her S/O laid on the bed, one hand ruffling her hair.

(S/O) "I still can't believe you slept on a cardboard bed the entire time..."

Stelle didn't move her face, her voice sounding muffled on the mattress.

(Stelle) "WhydoyouthinkIalwayssleptwithyou?"

(S/O) "Is there anywhere you wouldn't sleep?"

Stelle raised her head and moved to say something, but nothing came out as a second of complete silence passed.

(S/O) "...Know what, don't answer that. Just c'mere already!"

Stelle gave S/O a cheeky grin and complied, laying her head on their chest and yawning loudly.

(Stelle) "Now I don't wanna leave this room for the next few days..."

(S/O) "Honestly? With the way this room's set up, we can probably spend the weekend here. Or even longer."

(Stelle) "Hm.~"

One of her arms snaked its way around S/O's waist, her expression becoming softer, yet somehow more mischievous at the same time.

(Stelle) "Well, you're spending the night here, right? I have an idea for something fun to do before we head to bed."

She suddenly sat upright, a gleam in her eyes scaring S/O, but not nearly as much as her next words did.

(Stelle) "Take your clothes off."

(S/O) "WHAT?!-"

...

(S/O) "...Is that bath boiling? And are those peppers?! What kind of bath soak is this?!"

(Stelle) "I wanted to see you use it first."

(S/O) "Oh, so you want me to burn alive?!"

(Shush's Voice) "No worries, Significant Other of the Nameless! It'll just give you a whole new pepper-spective on baths!"

(S/O) "GAH! W-WHY IS SHUSH JUST STANDING OUTSIDE?!"

(Stelle) "Oh for the love of- GET THE [BANAB] OUT OF HERE!"

(S/O) "...How did you make that noise?"

March 7th's arms stretch over her head, making a cute grunt as she fell onto her bed, exhaling in satisfaction.

(March 7th) "Man, what a day!"

(S/O) "March, we were only outside for a few hours."

(March 7th) "Yeah, but we tasted a LOT of food on the planet today! I could just go into a food coma right now..."

S/O just hummed at that, setting aside some leftover sweets on her table.

Following after her, S/O sat at March's side, one hand sliding over to hers.

Without even looking, she playfully squeezed their hand back and closed her eyes, making S/O smile.

(March 7th) "GUARD IS DOWN!-"

March 7th immediately pounced on S/O, suddenly dragging them down to the bed with her as they yelped in surprise before it quickly turned into laughter.

(S/O) "Hey, that's not fair!"

(March 7th) "Not my fault you weren't expecting it! You think I'd just let you sit down peacefully?"

Well, they couldn't exactly argue with that.

And catching them off guard again, she gave them a quick peck on the lips, both their cheeks flushing red, yet neither of them were bothered by the playful intimacy.

Quickly, the mood simmered into something a little more romantic, with the pecks turning into longer smooches, both of them still smiling the entire time as they cuddled onto the bed further.

Firefly finished changing into something a little more casual, that being a simple shirt with some shorts, pulling S/O's hoodie over her head to finish it off.

S/O meanwhile was already yawning, lying on the bed and smiling upon seeing their girlfriend.

(S/O) "You look super cute in that, Firefly."

Even after being in a relationship, little comments like that was enough to fluster her, Firefly instinctually pulling the bottom of the hoodie further down.

(Firefly) "Thank you..."

With a soft giggle, Firefly hopped onto bed with S/O. Despite the mission she had gotten back from, she wasn't particularly tired, due to her genetic enhancement.

Firefly let S/O hold her, comfortably just chatting about whatever came to mind.

It was moments like these Firefly treasured the most with how uncommon it was.

...Even if the conversation did lead to some odd places.

(S/O) "Hm...I'm hungry right now."

(Firefly) "I can make us something real quick if you want?"

(S/O) "Nah, I don't want you to cook...Oh, I can order pizza!...Hm."

(Firefly) "Having second thoughts?"

(S/O) "Do...you think you guys could get pizza for free if you answered the driver in your armor? They'd be pretty scared right?"

Firefly immediately turned her head, pouting as her hand immediately but lightly "chopped" S/O's head.

(Firefly) "S/O! Absolutely not, I will not abuse my powers like that!"

(S/O) "Hah! Sorry, sorry! It was a joke! Though, I do wonder has anyone tried getting delivery?"

(Firefly) "No, but we usually do takeout."

(S/O) "Takeout? How's that work, wouldn't you guys get recognized really easily?"

(Firefly) "Hm, not really. I'm the one to grab it since most people don't know that I'm Sam, though if we need the food to be hot, I sometimes equip my armor and fly home."

(S/O) "...Firefly, you could make a killing doing food delivery if you weren't a Stellaron Hunter!"

(Firefly) "Oh geez, now you're starting to sound like Caelus..."

[thedemoninme141]

Her Heartbeat; Chapter 20: Her Rose.

Parings: Wednesday x Fem reader. Wordcount: 4.5k-ish?

Summary: Hope is a fragile thing.

Warnings: Angst.

Chapter 1 ------- Previous Chapter

Her Heartbeat's Chapterlist.

Worklist

Wednesday's eyes opened, missing the cold she would feel every morning because she was feeling uncharacteristically warm, cocooned in an unfamiliar yet not unwelcome sensation of comfort.

Turning her head slightly, she checked beside her. You were still asleep, your head resting against her arm, your hand loosely curled around hers. Her chest tightened at the sight of you, so peaceful and serene, as though all the worries of the world had melted away in your dreams.

How had it come to this? How had you—someone so warm, so full of life—become the center of her cold, unyielding world? You were her altar, your presence her sanctuary, your body her church. The idea was unnervingly intimate, and yet, it felt right.

Carefully, more carefully than she had ever done anything in her life, Wednesday shifted, her free hand moving to gently brush against your shoulder. “Y/N,” she murmured, her voice soft but steady, “wake up.”

You stirred slightly, your grip on her arm tightening momentarily before your eyes blinked open. A sleepy smile spread across your face as you looked at her. “Morning, Angry Bird,” you teased

Wednesday rolled her eyes, “I am leaving to get ready,” she said flatly

“Alright,” you said, stretching slightly before looking back at her. “Thanks for staying, Wednesday. Really.”

She didn’t reply, simply watching as you were rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Your gratitude was unnecessary, but she didn’t have the heart to tell you that.

“I’ll meet you at breakfast.” she announced.

You nodded, your smile lingering as you watched her. “See you there.”

Wednesday paused for a moment, her gaze lingering on you longer than it should have. She turned on her heel, leaving before the moment could stretch too long.

As she stepped into the corridor, her mind began to wander, unbidden. She thought of you, of the way you looked so calm, so utterly trusting, as you slept beside her. And then, like a dark cloud creeping into a bright sky, her thoughts shifted to your heart. That fragile, relentless muscle that kept you tethered to this world, even as it threatened to fail you.

Her thoughts drifted to your bucket list, the diary she memorized. She had helped you cross off so many items already, from the absurd to the sentimental, all of it had been for you, to see that spark of joy in your eyes.

But there were still some wishes left. Simple things. Things she could easily arrange. And yet… she hesitated.

What then? The list had been your tether to the world, your way of living fully despite the uncertainty of your future. If it were complete, what would you have left to hold onto? And, more selfishly, what would she have left? She wanted you to keep wishing, to keep dreaming, to keep being there. With her. For her.

By the time she reached her dorm, her thoughts were a storm of emotions she couldn’t fully articulate. She pushed the door open, her movements sharp but not loud enough to wake Enid—at least not intentionally.

The werewolf stirred anyway, her blonde hair a tangled mess as she sat up groggily. “Morning, Wens,” she mumbled before her eyes widened slightly, a sly smile creeping onto her face “So… how was your night?”

Wednesday paused. She considered her words carefully, weighing the exact tone she wanted to convey. “Satisfactory.”

Enid giggled, fully awake now. “Satisfactory? That’s it? You spent the whole night with her, and that’s all I get? Come on, give me something!”

Wednesday turned to face her, her expression deadpan. “I slept. She slept. The end.”

Enid gasped dramatically, clutching her chest. “No juicy details? No heartfelt confessions? No midnight cuddles?”

Wednesday’s eyes narrowed. “Your imagination is a breeding ground for delusions, Enid.”

But there was no sharpness in her tone. And that, more than anything, gave Enid pause. Her smile faded as she tilted her head, studying Wednesday with a level of seriousness she rarely displayed.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Enid asked, her voice softening.

“Nothing,” Wednesday replied curtly, moving to her side of the room and starting to change out of her clothes.

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me,” Enid said, pulling the blanket off her lap and sitting up.

Wednesday remained silent, her back to Enid as she reached for a fresh set of clothes.

“Something’s bothering you,” Enid declared, crossing her arms. “Come on, you can tell me. Was it something she said? Did you guys have a fight?”

Wednesday’s hand froze momentarily before she resumed her task. “No. Everything is fine.”

“Uh-huh,” Enid said, clearly unconvinced. She climbed out of bed, padding over to Wednesday, “Look, I know you don’t like sharing your feelings or whatever, but you can trust me, okay? If something’s wrong, I want to help.”

Wednesday didn’t want to talk about this, especially not with Enid. Your bucket list wasn’t something she could share without your consent, and the thought of exposing your vulnerability felt wrong.

Wednesday finished buttoning her shirt, her movements deliberate as she finally turned to face Enid. “Enid, if someone completed all the wishes they had for their life, what would they do next?”

Enid blinked, clearly caught off guard by the question.

She tilted her head, thinking for a moment before a warm smile spread across her face. “They’d find someone else to wish for them,”

Wednesday stared at her, the words sinking in far deeper than she wanted to admit. She gave Enid a small nod.

Enid watched her for a moment longer before nodding back with a warm smile, sensing that whatever was on Wednesday’s mind was something she wasn’t ready to share. For once, the werewolf respected her boundaries, retreating back to her side of the room.

As Wednesday returned to her preparations. But as she moved through the motions of her morning routine, Enid’s words lingered in her mind, echoing louder than she wanted to admit. Can she wish for you?

As Wednesday walked alongside Enid towards the quad, she spotted you standing there, leaning casually against the stone archway. Even tho you always wait for her right there, Wednesday can't help but still feel the familiar flutter in her chest everytime.

Enid noticed you too and nudged Wednesday with her elbow, a sly grin spreading across her face. “Look at that. Your personal ray of sunshine, waiting just for you.”

Wednesday shot her a glare sharp enough to cut steel. “Enid, I will personally ensure your demise if you continue speaking.”

Enid merely giggled, unfazed. “Aww, you’re so grouchy in the morning. It’s adorable.”

Suppressing the urge to retort, Wednesday quickened her pace as Enid struggled to follow.

“Hey, Enid!” you called, smiling warmly.

Enid grinned "Morning Y/n!"

As the three of them walked towards their usual table, you turned to Wednesday. “We’re grabbing breakfast. I’ll get yours too.”

Wednesday gave a single, curt nod, watching as you and Enid disappeared into the crowd. Her gaze lingered on you for a moment before she turned her attention to the table, sitting in her usual spot.

Her mind was almost back to the list again when she noticed Bianca and Yoko approaching with their trays.

Bianca slid onto the bench beside her, setting her tray down, “Morning, Wednesday.”

Wednesday gave her a withering look, her jaw tightening. She didn’t move to greet her, instead staring blankly ahead as if Bianca wasn’t there.

Unbothered, Bianca smirked and began eating. “You’re as sociable as ever. Anyway, I was just wondering—how’s Y/N doing?”

Wednesday’s posture stiffened, but her expression remained impassive. She refused to let Bianca’s question unsettle her. “She’s fine,” she said curtly. “For now.”

Bianca raised an eyebrow at the vague response but didn’t press further. Instead, she sighed, leaning back slightly. “You know, I used to think Y/N was just some weird girl. Quiet, always in her own little world.”

Wednesday’s glare intensified, her dark eyes narrowing dangerously.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that,” Bianca said, holding up her hands defensively. “That was back in my queen bee era, okay? I’ve grown since then.”

Yoko snorted. “Barely.”

Bianca shot her a look before turning back to Wednesday. “Anyway, my point is… Y/N’s a lot stronger than I gave her credit for. She’s… too pure for this world, honestly.”

Wednesday was silent, her mind momentarily drifting to you—your laugh, your smile, the warmth you brought into her otherwise cold and calculated life.

Then she spoke, her voice low and firm. “Do not, under any circumstances, remind her of her condition. Not even for a second.”

Bianca held up her hands again. “Alright, alright. Message received. Geez.”

Before the conversation could continue, you and Enid returned, balancing trays of food in your hands. “Here you go,” you said, setting a tray in front of Wednesday with a small smile. “Sorry, Wednesday. They were out of dead spider salad.” you joked as you took a seat across from her.

Wednesday gave you a dry look, but there was a faint flicker of amusement in her eyes.

The table fell into a comfortable rhythm as everyone began eating, the conversations weaving in and out around bites of food. Through it all, Wednesday remained mostly silent, her focus flitting between her meal and you. She noted the way you laughed at Enid’s jokes, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about something that excited you.

When breakfast ended and it was time to head to class, the group dispersed, each going their separate ways. You and Wednesday walked together, as you shared the same first class of the day.

“My dad will be here at noon,” you said, breaking the comfortable silence. “He’ll pick me up after classes.”

Wednesday glanced at you, her expression unreadable. “I’ll be there, too.”

You smiled, your eyes softening. “I know. Just like you said.”

Wednesday didn’t respond, but the weight in her chest eased slightly at your smile. It was a reminder, however fleeting, that you still had reasons to smile—and she would do whatever it took to keep it that way.

Wednesday glanced at the mirror, her reflection as stoic and composed as ever, but she couldn’t deny the subtle tension in her jaw or the slight tremor in her hands.

Behind her, Enid sat on her bed, watching with an uncharacteristic silence. Finally, after a few moments of hesitation, Enid asked, “So, uh… where are you going?”

“To Y/N’s doctor appointment,” Wednesday replied without looking at her.

Enid’s shoulders sagged slightly. “Oh…” She looked away, biting her lip. Her mind raced with things she could say, ways she could reassure Wednesday, but nothing felt right. Nothing felt truthful. It’s gonna be okay she almost said, but her voice caught in her throat. Is it gonna be okay? Even Enid didn’t know.

Wednesday continued straightening her outfit, her movements sharper than usual. Nervousness was an emotion she’d spent years suppressing, burying beneath layers of cold indifference and iron will. But now, it clawed its way to the surface.

A knock at the door broke the tense silence. Enid jumped to her feet and opened it, revealing you standing there, dressed simply but with a glow about you that only made Wednesday’s nerves tangle tighter.

“Hey Enid,” you said, smiling brightly before looking at Wednesday, “Ready to go?”

Wednesday nodded, moving toward you without hesitation. As she stepped into the hallway, you turned to Enid, “Bye, Enid!” You gave Enid a small wave, but before you could say goodbye, Enid lunged forward and wrapped you in a tight hug.

You blinked in surprise, hugging her back just as tightly. “Not that I mind the hug but what’s this for?” you asked with a soft laugh.

“Just felt like it,” Enid said, her voice muffled against your shoulder.

Wednesday stood a step behind, her dark eyes watching the exchange. She wasn’t one for public displays of affection but even she could understand this, Enid’s hug wasn’t just a goodbye; it was a shield, a silent promise of support, and a wordless prayer that everything would turn out fine.

As you pulled away, you smiled warmly at Enid. “I’ll see you later.”

Enid nodded, her usual pep replaced by a quiet seriousness. “Yeah. See you later.”

You turned to Wednesday, your smile softening. “Let’s go.”

The drive to the hospital was mostly silent but you seemed determined to lighten the mood, trying to spark a laugh from your dad with small, hopeful remarks about the weather, the drive, or even the slightly crooked sign outside a diner you passed.

You glanced at Wednesday in the rearview mirror, offering her a small, reassuring smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Dad, remember that time I tried to cook you breakfast for your birthday? and I set off the smoke alarm? The pancakes looked like hockey pucks.”

Your dad’s lips twitched, but the smile didn’t quite form. “I remember,” he said quietly, his voice strained.

The car hit a red light, and your dad exhaled, long and slow, as if he were trying to let out all the tension in his body but failing miserably. You reached over, placing a hand gently on his arm. “Dad… it’s going to be okay,” you said softly.

He glanced at you briefly before turning his attention back to the road. “I hope so,” he said, his voice low and strained.

In the backseat, Wednesday sat stiffly, her hands folded neatly in her lap.

She wanted to say something, anything, to cut through the heaviness, but words failed her.

Instead, she focused on you. The way you kept trying, despite the weight pressing down on you. The way you smiled, even when your eyes betrayed your fear.

Each turn of the wheels felt like a countdown, drawing you all closer to something none of you could predict. Something Wednesday was powerless against.

It was Wednesday’s second time here. The memory of the last visit lingered vividly in her mind. The Raven. Your collapse. The beeping monitors. Your pale face as you lay unconscious. It all played on a loop.

And now, here you were again, but this time walking under your own strength. Wednesday’s eyes flickered toward you briefly, taking in the way your hand rested lightly on the strap of your bag, your shoulders squared despite the tension visible in your clenched jaw. You were trying to be brave, and Wednesday could see it. She hated that you had to be.

The door to the consultation room was just ahead. Your father reached out and pushed it open, holding it for the two of you. Inside, four doctors sat around a polished table. They stood as you entered,

“Miss Y/N,” the woman said as she rose to greet you, her German accent faint but clear. “Mr. L/N. Please, come in and have a seat.” Wednesday’s sharp eyes darted to the woman, then to the others. She didn’t trust them. Not yet. But as you stepped into the room, she followed without hesitation, positioning herself just behind your chair.

Your father offered a polite nod, guiding you to the chair.

You sank into it, your movements slow but deliberate, and Wednesday took her place at your side. She crossed her arms, her dark gaze scanning the room as if daring anyone to show a sign of incompetence.

“We’ve had time to review your case thoroughly,” the older doctor began, his hands folded neatly on the table in front of him. “Your medical history, test results, and the detailed reports from your previous doctors have given us a comprehensive understanding of your condition.”

The middle-aged doctor nodded, picking up where the older man left off. “You’ve been diagnosed with a congenital heart valve disease. Specifically, the mitral valve in your heart is severely damaged, which has caused a range of complications, as you’re well aware.” Your father’s hand clenched slightly on the armrest of his chair, but he didn’t speak.

The woman leaned forward, her calm, measured tone cutting through the weight in the room. “Your current treatment plan—medications to manage symptoms and reduce strain on your heart—has been effective to some degree. However, it’s not a long-term solution. The valve’s condition will continue to deteriorate, and unfortunately, the symptoms will worsen.”

You nodded slowly, your face pale but composed. Wednesday, standing stiffly beside you, felt a sharp pang in her chest at their words. They were speaking clinically, detachedly, as if your life were a puzzle to be solved. It wasn’t wrong, medicine required logic and precision, but Wednesday despised it all the same.

“We’ve discussed your case extensively, and there are two possible paths forward. The first is to continue waiting for a heart transplant. As you know, this option is highly dependent on donor availability, and the wait time could be months but most like years for your age.” the older doctor interjected, his tone careful. “A transplant offers the highest likelihood of success long-term, but the waiting period presents risks. Your heart’s condition may deteriorate further during that time, which could complicate recovery post-surgery.”

Wednesday’s jaw tightened. Her eyes flicked to you, noting the way your hands gripped the edge of your chair, white-knuckled but steady.

“And the second option?” you asked, your voice steady but quiet.

The woman answered, “We’ve discussed your case extensively, and there is an alternative approach we believe may be worth considering. It is not without risk, but it could potentially stabilize your condition while you await a transplant—or, in the best-case scenario, eliminate the need for one entirely.”

“A transcatheter mitral valve repair procedure. It is a minimally invasive technique where we would implant a device to improve the valve’s function and reduce regurgitation. The procedure itself is highly specialized, and while we have performed it successfully on numerous patients, each case carries its own set of challenges.” The oldest doctor added.

Your father straightened slightly in his chair, his expression a mixture of hope and caution. “And the success rate?”

The room grew heavier as the woman exchanged glances with her colleagues.

Finally, she spoke, her voice even. "Given the severity of your condition and the intricacies of this procedure, the success rate is approximately 30 to 40 percent. It is a challenging operation, even for a team as experienced as ours. We must be honest about the risks involved."

Your father let out a sharp exhale, leaning back in his chair as he ran a hand over his face. You, however, remained calm, your gaze steady.

“And if it fails?” you asked.

“If the procedure is unsuccessful,” the older doctor said, “it could lead to further complications, including complete heart failure."

The room fell silent for a moment, the weight of their words hanging heavy in the air. Wednesday’s fingers curled against her lap, her nails biting into her skin. She hated this—the clinical detachment, the way these doctors spoke of risks and percentages while you sat there, your life reduced to numbers and probabilities.

“But if successful, it could significantly improve your quality of life and extend your life expectancy." the woman said gently to divert your attention from the negatives, "We understand this is a difficult decision. You don’t need to decide today. Take some time to think it over, discuss it with your family, and let us know within a week.”

You nodded again, your voice soft as you replied, “Thank you. I’ll think about it.”

The doctors exchanged polite goodbyes, and your father rose from his chair, placing a hand on your shoulder as he guided you toward the door. Wednesday followed silently.

The walk through the hospital corridors was a blur, and you… you were quiet too, your steps slow and deliberate as if each one required effort.

As your father slid into the driver’s seat and started the car, Wednesday stole a glance at you in the backseat beside her. You looked out the window, your head tilted slightly, your gaze distant.

“Do you want to go home, hun?” your father asked, his voice soft, careful.

Wednesday’s stomach knotted. She braced herself for your answer, convinced you’d say yes. How could you not, after what you had just endured? Surely, the comfort of your home, away from the prying eyes of the school, would feel like a sanctuary.

But then you turned to your father and said, “No. I want to go back to Nevermore.”

Wednesday felt a flicker of confusion. Why? she wanted to ask. Why would you want to return to the place that seemed to amplify everything—the stares, the whispers, the weight of your condition? But she didn’t ask. Instead, more than anything, she wanted to hold you. Not to speak, not to offer any empty reassurances. Just to wrap her arms around you and keep you close, safe from everything threatening to pull you away from her. To show you how much she cared. To show you how much you meant to her.

Wednesday noticed how your fingers absentmindedly toyed with the hem of your sleeve, how your foot tapped softly against the car’s floor. You were deep in thought. She wondered what you were thinking, what you were feeling. She wondered if you felt as lost as she did.

When the car finally pulled up to Nevermore’s gates, you stepped out first, followed by Wednesday.

Your father turned to you, his eyes softening with worry. “Call me when you’re ready to talk, okay? I’ll be waiting.”

You nodded, offering a faint smile. “I will. Thank you for everything, Dad.”

He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly for a moment before stepping back, his gaze lingering on you as he climbed back into the car.

Wednesday stood silently by your side, her dark eyes fixed on you as you watched the car pulling away, disappearing down the road.

You stood there for a moment, watching until the car was out of sight. Then, you turned to Wednesday.

You didn’t say anything. Instead, you smiled—a small, sad smile that tugged at something deep inside her. And then you offered your hand.

It was an invitation.

Without hesitation, Wednesday took it. Your fingers intertwined with hers. Wherever you were going, she would follow.

Wednesday didn't ask you where you were leading her, she didn't need to, and before she knew it, you had brought her to the greenhouse. She blinked, realizing she had no memory of how she’d gotten there. Her eyes, however, never left you.

You led her to the far corner of the greenhouse, where the light was dim.

“I wanted to show you something,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Wednesday didn’t respond, her dark eyes scanning your face intently.

You knelt down and carefully uncovered a small batch of black roses nestled in a pot. Their petals were delicate, almost velvety, and they seemed to drink in the dim light, their color impossibly rich and dark.

“I found them a while ago,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “They were dying when I saw them. Almost gone. But I couldn’t leave them like that.”

Wednesday stared at the roses, her mind a storm of thoughts she couldn’t untangle. She wasn’t easily moved by sentimentality, but there was something about the sight of those flowers, fragile yet living, that tugged at something deep inside her.

“I love you,” you said, your words quiet but unwavering. “I know I’ve told you before, but I just… I need you to know. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And you’ve given me so much. More than I ever thought I could have."

Wednesday felt her breath hitch. Your words were like a blade, cutting through her carefully constructed walls.

“I’ve been so scared,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “Scared of what’s going to happen, scared of what I might lose. But you… you make me feel brave. You make me feel like I can face anything.”

Your words came out in a rush, stumbling over each other, and you paused to take a shaky breath.

“And these roses,” you continued, your voice softer now, “they remind me of you. Strong, beautiful, and a little intimidating... but worth everything. They remind me of how you’ve been with me through everything. How you’ve been my strength when I didn’t have any left.”

Wednesday’s throat felt tight, her chest heavy with emotion she couldn’t quite name.

“I don’t know what the future holds,” you said, “but I know that I want you in it. For however long I have left.”

You looked down, your hands trembling slightly as you folded them in your lap. “I’m sorry. I’m probably rambling. I just… I needed to say it.”

Something inside Wednesday shifted. She couldn’t put it into words, couldn’t articulate the storm of emotions swirling within her. All she knew was that she couldn’t hold back anymore.

Without warning, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a fierce hug.

You froze for a moment, startled, before relaxing into her embrace, your arms winding around her waist.

Perhaps Enid's hugging disease was contagious, but it felt right. Perfect, even.

But the warmth of your arms around her wasn’t enough. The thoughts screaming in her mind, the fear, the anger, the overwhelming tenderness she didn’t know how to handle—they demanded something more. Slowly, Wednesday pulled back, just enough to look into your eyes.

Your cheeks were flushed, your breath shallow, and your eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "Wednesday," you whispered, your voice trembling, filled with a depth of feeling that made her chest ache.

And then, she acted. Her hands moved up to cup your face, her fingers trembling ever so slightly.

She leaned in, pressing her lips to yours.

It wasn’t tentative. It was fierce, almost desperate—a silent plea, just last lifetime.

You responded almost immediately, your hands clutching at her blazer, holding her as if you were afraid to let go.

The kiss deepened, softening into something more vulnerable. It was tender, reverent, as if you both were trying to pour every ounce of feeling into it, to say everything that words couldn’t.

When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless. You rested your forehead against hers, your fingers lightly brushing against her arms as if grounding yourself in her presence.

“I love you,” you whispered again, your voice shaky but sure. “I love you so much, Wednesday.”

She stared at you, her heart pounding in a way she wasn’t used to. She opened her mouth to respond, to tell you again that she loved you too, but then it clicked.

You’d made your decision. That’s why you’d brought her here, why you’d shown her the roses, why you’d spoken those words.

“Have you…” she started, her voice hesitant. “Have you decided?”

You stared at her, looking down, back at the roses, and then you answered.

[Author's note: Cliffhanger? Nah Y/n is cooked. Comment or my cat kills Y/n.]

@ognenniyvolk @mally-ka @protozoario @machyishere @freakshow2501 @101rizzlrr

[ryusuisloveinterest]

Dr. Stone headcanons of the Wise Generals' sleeping habits? Pretty please🥺

hello 🦕 anon! So sorry for the wait but I hope you enjoy the little headcanons! Just imagining this was so cute to me so I really hope you enjoy!🫶

5 wise generals sleeping habits 💤💞

Senku: 

I think Senku would actually have a pretty good sleep schedule 

He needs the right amount of sleep to use his brain to the fullest 

As for sleeping in general he’s a side sleeper

He hates laying on his back and hate laying on his stomach 

He’s not a cuddler AT FIRST

But as time goes on he gets a bit more clingy

First it’s just hand holding

Then it was intertwined legs

But one night he woke up and you weren’t there

He walks around the hut (if it’s the Stone Age) or the house (if it’s modern or 4d science) looking for you

He kinda gets nervous until he sees you coming out of the bathroom

He chuckles as you follow him 

As soon as you both lay in bed he locks you with his arms and legs and you’ve both slept like that ever since 

Chrome:

Chrome tries to have a good schedule, but his mind just wakes him up in the middle of the, curious about many things he’s yet to learn

You’ll often find him messing with his rocks or just sitting up and looking outside

“Oh I’m sorry did I wake you? I just couldn’t sleep.”

A lot of times you’ll just sit with him and let him ramble or you slowly drag him back to bed

There are some nights where you’ll fall asleep while you guys are talking and either you’ll wake up in the same spot you fell asleep in or you “magically” end up back in your bed

The few times Chrome doesn’t wake up he’s a heavy HEAVY sleeper 

I’m talking like the world could literally be ending and he’s still somehow asleep 

He’s an everywhere sleeper. As in his body is all over the place when he’s asleep 

You two will start off cuddling but by the end of the night Chrome’s horizontal to the bed with his waist all twisted up and his arms all over the place

You might even accidentally get punched or kicked once or twice💀

Gen:

Gen can just magically falls asleep

He doesn’t even show signs of being tired he’ll just be like, “goodnight y/n” and then knock out

He doesn’t really have a sleep schedule but always gets his 8 hours or more

Like some nights he goes to bed at 8 but then wakes up at 7 or he goes to bed at midnight and wakes up at 11 in the morning 

I say he’s either a normal side sleeper or he sleeps in the fetal position 

Sometimes he’s cuddly and other times he’s not 

He’s either all up on you, just holding your hand, or just close

Ukyo:

I think Ukyo would still kinda have his military sleep schedule engraved in him somehow 

From what very little I know about the military there’s the same rise and shine and nighty nighty all the time so expect Ukyo to have the same schedule every single day

I think he’s a light sleeper so try your best not to toss and turn

He likes to sleep on his side or on his back

His breathing is very light so it literally sounds like he’s dead some nights

It’s genuinely concerning 

He loves cuddling, unless you move around a lot, then it’s harder for him to sleep

Massage his head and he’s out

He’s honestly like a cat, just so satisfied when you rub his head

Ryusui:

What’s a sleep schedule 😀

He either goes to bed at a reasonable time or is just up for days straight with little naps here and there

“My desire doesn’t sleep! So why should I?”

I swear 

You have to pull him to bed

When he FINALLY lays down, he’s all over you

Like you like your personal space, but he LOVES it

He’ll either be holding you, or you’re on top of him, or he’s on top of you, or some other weird position 

I hope your body’s normally cold cause his body runs extremely hot, so if you run cold then it’s more bearable 

Has the cutest little snore

I wouldn’t even consider it that it’s just a little squeak he kinda makes when sleeping 

Sometimes he sleeps the whole night, other times he wakes up and starts doing something 

If you choose to stay up with him because he would never make you he’ll share his thoughts and desires with you 

But if you stay asleep you’ll feel a light kiss on your head and hear a small “I love you” before he’s off doing who knows what 

[therandompagesblog]

Hunting Your Soul Chapter 6 🫀Y/N🫀

Trigger Warnings: Stalking, manipulation, self pleasure, orgasm

Could a stalker be seen as sweet? Caring? Attentive? Or, were these things I imagined as the days went on? Chan's nature had changed. He was filled less with riddles and more with statements. Statements of truth. He was going to take me. I knew that much. I knew I was going to be turned into a monster that lived in the darkness. When, was my question, but he never answered. Chan always answered my other questions. My questions about his feelings toward me. They were vague yet unexplainable. He always referred to me as his. That I was meant to be his. That my heart was his. It was an animalistic description. One that frightened me but didn't. Every time I was frightened or worried he would mask it with care. Kindness. Chan never directly spoke to me. Only through words on a screen. Otherwise, he would shower me with gifts. Flowers, pyjamas, iced cinnamon buns. It was a generational romance. Texting. Never to be seen. I hated it. I hated the waiting game. I wanted to see him. I wanted to see what he looked like. I wanted to see his cold gaze, pressing into me. I wanted him to consume me. Feed off me. They were stupid desires. Reckless even. They were thoughts and feelings I gained over the course of three days. Three pitiful days and I was craving him. The only nuisance was he slept during the day. It was Inconvenient for me and I wanted him to know that. I wanted him to pay for it. Pay for the ways he was making me feel. I wanted to play his game. Me: I want to hear your voice. Chan: If you're a good little flower for me. I will. Me: Fine. I'll suffer then. Chan: Careful with that attitude. I have to work today. Be patient.

I rolled my eyes in frustration hitting the bed. I was annoyed at myself. At him for making me feel this way. I should feel sickened, but I wasn't. Chan gave me no reason to. The only thing he did was text, call or watch. He wasn't really stalking either. He was too quiet to be a stalker. Too quiet. Too careful. He was harmless in the eyes of the law. A report would do nothing to him. He was untraceable. He wasn't even real. If I did report him, the police would tell me they could not do anything until something happened. Until the harassment escalated. I could report his number, but all Chan would have to do was get another and he would still keep texting. Calling. But if he was a monster, then he was invincible. He was deadly. Very deadly. And right now that was hot. And I was hormonally hot. It was despicable yet erotic to have a watcher. It was something that kept my mind preoccupied as I started to have sick fantasies. Fantasies about his deep voice. The voice that burned into my soul. Fantasies of his touch and the way he would feel. It was already a catastrophic downfall. I was damned for him and I did not care. I did not care in the way I wanted him to suffer too. I wanted him to feel my frustration at his lack of communication. His lack of verbal communication. His lack of physical communication. His–his lack of presence. I shuddered at the thought of meeting him soon. My body shivered at the thought of his face. His touch. I wondered more about his musky smell. I wanted to smell him again. Throwing my head back with a sigh. I closed my eyes, thinking about faceless hands. Touching me. Guiding me softly. I wondered if the monster had fangs or claws. Or both. Would they cut into my body deep or scratch the surface? My body was starting to get hot as I thought about the blank kisses trailing across my skin. An irrational thought crept across my mind. I wanted to phone him. Force him to listen to my arousal like he forced my emotions to yearn for him. It was a sick and twisted idea but my hormones were everywhere, and considering he stole my tampons. A little moan was the icing on a sweet cinnamon bun. My hand found its way into my trousers. Slowly touching myself as I felt my body getting hotter. I reached for my bedside to grab my silicone vibrator and turned it on. I allowed the vibrating sensations to toy against my clothed folds. My back arched as I pressed harder against my clothed clit, thrashing. I stopped. Smirking to myself as I looked at my reflection. I took my clothes off and spread myself open. Open for him. A stranger. I pressed the toy against my clit. Circling slowly as my hand reached for my phone. I slid the toy across my folds. Then back up to my sensitive bud. I thrashed. Whimpering away. I looked at my phone. Clicking on Chan's number. His phone went straight to voicemail. The beep sent my devious arousal into new heights. "Chan... Ch-chan." I whimpered loudly. Louder than I normally would. I clicked the button. Speeding it up as I arched myself. Allowing the state of bliss to watch over me. Then it came. The dread. The fear. I fucked up. I incredibly fucked up. I could feel it deep within my warm bones as I waited for him.

18+ Taglist for those who are not turning back

@catlove83 @itsyourleilei @whatudowhennooneseesyou @leeknot @estella-novella @fackeraccount @eastjonowhere @cocofia143 @jennibahng @noerinspace @sleepingmissingprincess @ye0lkkot @hiitsmebbygrl16 @shhimhereforsmut @jaeminie-cricket @stayceebs97 @ritiiiiiii @chlodavids @beautystarry @hyunjinhoexxx @hash2013 @jeonginontopforever @catnipchannie @kaqua @fairy-lixie @myflowercloud @galaxy4489 @velvetmoonlght

[thezombieprostitute]

Dr. Hot Stuff

Summary: You're probably the only nurse who hasn't slept with Surgeon Johnny Storm and you're happy to keep it that way.

Warnings: Age gap, Implied smut, Medical setting, Talk about surgeries. Please let me know if I missed any!

A/N: Many thanks to @bigtreefest for help with the medical terminology and more!

A/N2: Reader is 35+ years old and female. No other physical descriptors used.

You feel like a zombie, asleep on your feet after an incredibly long surgery. As much as you liked being Dr. Beck's go-to nurse for long and complicated surgeries, it still took a hell of a toll on you. As soon as you were cleaned up and in fresh scrubs, you were headed to the sleeping area.

When the doorknob doesn't turn you blink as your brain tries to process why you're not already laying down. You try a few more times but nothing. Is it stuck? It's not supposed to be locked.

Then the sounds of giggles and moans pierce through your brain fog and you put the pieces together. Dr. Johnny Storm, aka Dr. Hot Stuff, doing his regular, pre-surgery "ritual" with one of the nurses. You roll your eyes and shake your head. You should break down the door just out of fully justified spite! But you know you won't get much support. Apparently Dr. Hot Stuff earned his nickname. If there's one thing you'll give Storm, it's that his partners have no complaints, and they are the type to complain.

You slink off to the break room to find a recliner for a nap.

You're startled awake by Johnny loudly celebrating his latest successful surgery. He's proudly proclaiming his mastery over the appendectomy to anyone and everyone who will hear. You roll your eyes and start getting out of the recliner. You should be used to these kinds of things by now. Young surgeons are always so loud and proud.

Before you can get out of the recliner, though, Johnny steps in front of you.

"If it isn't my favorite veteran nurse," he smirks.

"What do you want, Dr. Storm," you sigh.

"You know you can call me Johnny, like all the other nurses, right?" he raises an eyebrow, grin never dropping. "I'm just trying to be friendly but you keep shutting me out."

"I just woke up, Johnny. And I'm still very tired. I'd be friendlier if I could've actually slept in a bed." You give him your best glare, hoping it would get him to back off, maybe apologize.

Instead his smile widens, "oh, sorry about that. Next time I'll make sure you get to join in." He winks and you scoff.

"I'm out of here," you shake your head. "I've gotta get back to work."

"Wait, please, I wanna talk to you!"

"About what?"

His facial expression changes into puppy dog eyes that your certain would work on a younger you. "Can you put in a good word for me with Dr. Beck?"

Your eyebrows crinkle in confusion. "What?"

"I'm doing so damn well with these appendectomies and cholecystectomies that I could do them in my sleep," he explains. "I want to get into doing the interesting surgeries, the ones that'll help my career, you know?"

"You haven't mastered the mundane yet," you tell him and he rolls his eyes while giving you a groan. "It's incredibly important for surgeons, especially new ones like yourself, to get experience with the variety that can come from even a simple procedure."

"What variety?" he protests. "It's all the same procedure. The same hand motions. The same instructions."

“You’re about to sever the common bile duct but your view is partially blocked by a section of hard adipose tissue. What do you do?”

"Predict where the duct continues under the fat tissue and make the incision,” he shrugs as if it should be obvious.

“WRONG," you loudly scold. "You just nicked the hepatic artery. Your patient is bleeding out.”

He starts pouting but you continue to grill him. You can tell he's studied but he's just too inexperienced and he continually falls short. Given how red he's getting, you can tell he knows it as well. When you finally let up on the questions he backs up so you can get out of the recliner but he's definitely not happy.

"Bet you'd put in a good word for me if you helped me with my pre-surgery ritual," he grouses.

"Not gonna happen, Junior."

"You sure?" he raises an eyebrow in that way you know works on the younger nurses. "I bet I could make you feel young again."

"I'm sure. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna get back to work."

"I'll get you to change your mind one of these days," he promises with a wink.

You roll your eyes and shake your head. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Ooo! Giving me permission to think of you next time I can't sleep?"

You facepalm. "I walked right into that one."

Tagging: @alicedopey; @darsynia; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63

[hannahssimblr]

Hours gone and hours to go, staring out the window at vague green mountains, rainforest, a bleeding scene behind wet glass as the rains go on, drenching the southern arm of Thailand. The train rumbles and the beds in our sleeper cabin squeak. I’ve slept already, for an hour, maybe two with a t-shirt over my face to block the light, while Jonas, pale and silent across from me stares blankly out the window picking at his fingernails, blood vessels burst in his eyes from being sick. Forty minutes in the train bathroom while a queue formed outside, and he’s too hungover to be embarrassed. 

The train to Surat Thani was his idea, and seemed like a great one back in Berlin, looking at pictures of the scenery, the idyllic image of an orange train snaking through jungle. Nine hours seemed reasonable until this morning, when I awoke to him packing his bags, the smell of alcohol seeping from his pores. Trembling and ill. 

“How was last night?” I said. “Must’ve gone well if you slept over.”

“I hate myself,” he replied, and that’s all. Within thirty minutes, we had checked out and boarded the train. 

He hasn’t spoken in about six hours, but in fairness, four he spent sleeping, snoring peacefully in his bunk while I’ve read my book, snacked, perused my phone.

I look again at the message from Astrid I woke up to. 

Here you go.

She’s said, followed by pictures of her in that green dress, front and back in her apartment mirror. She looks stunning like that, her hair a little messy, makeup smudged from an evening in the city, wine drunk too, probably. I can tell by that glazed look on her face. 

The second picture, then, captioned:

Or do you prefer me without?

And she’s naked, laying back, the high points of her sensual body rising out of fizzy pink water. Some kind of bath bomb situation, evidently. This is what I wanted, and it’s extraordinarily erotic, but looking at it in the cold light of day in a train cabin that smells of two unwashed men and the dinner plates the buffet service hasn’t collected yet, the effect is not quite as intended. 

Tbh only thing missing is me in there with my–

I pause and check the world clock app. 9:15AM in Berlin. I go back and delete what I wrote. Bit weird now, considering it’s her morning, and she’s definitely not in the bath still. 

I look at the picture some more anyway, zooming in on different parts, like her collarbone, poking out like that with the angle she holds her neck, the same with her hip, a white peak jutting out of the water. My rapt interest in anatomy, driven by the pressure I feel to enjoy her a suitable amount. 

Men like my grandfather would have gone their whole lives without seeing a woman like this. Maybe once, if they were lucky, and they’d keep a picture of her in their breast pocket or paint her on the side of a bomber jet and go to war. And in the 15th century, you’d carve exquisite statues of bodies like this. Paint masterpieces, and you’d turn her into some ethereal goddess with angels flying all around her, spend years working on a portrait in an attempt to communicate your feelings with a brush and oils, marble and chisels. Driven half mad by her. Compelled to preserve her beauty for eternity. 

Here I am, looking at Astrid on my phone. A body worthy of museums, her frame, not gilded, but a clear silicone phone cover that has been yellowing progressively with use. I’m aware I don’t deserve to be looking at this. The best I can do is turn my screen away from the window so Jonas cannot see her too.

Sorry, was asleep lol. Looking hot af tho! 🥵

At the end of my message I add the red faced, profusely sweating emoji with its tongue out to really drive the point home, and send it, half hoping it won’t deliver. It does. 

Back out to the conversations page to the chat with Evie. Something to stare at and feel bad about. Thinking about you. Why did I write that? Divine intervention that it didn’t send. A reason to believe God is watching over me. 

It’s becoming increasingly obvious I’m demented. What else could explain it? To be the kind of man who has a girlfriend that others would die for, letting me do whatever to her, a folder on my phone now of pictures that the weirdos in her Instagram comments would pay real money to look at. Each night, saying she loves me down the phone, and I text a girl I knew for two months last summer? What way would my brain show up in an MRI scan? Very abnormal, the doctor would mutter, and I’d be like, yeah, I had an inkling. 

Maybe I’m just curious, seeking closure. I’d like to know how she’s doing. What colleges she applied for. What she thought of the leaving cert, if she found it hard. She would have finished this week, maybe last. What was it like for her? Desks lined up in some PE hall, no doubt. Old convent windows, summer sunshine catching dust. Her hands smoothing the docket, nails painted. Colourful nails always, and hair done up in some elaborate double plait French thing. She hated how flat she thought her hair was. Then going out to the pub afterwards, a bottle of Corona with a wedge of lime in the neck, going down easy. Eighteen now. Wow. I never wished her a happy birthday. Would have felt weird doing it.

I go through my pictures. There aren’t many, only the ones Jen took on her camera and sent to me. I know where to find them, at the beginning of the roll underneath all those nightclub shots and pictures of Astrid in Italy. Dalia and Elias at the lake. Me and Jonas in the park last September. It’s been a long time since I was here, staring at that one photo I once obsessed over. It’s the only good one I have of her. At the festival, taken in the crowd, and I'm looking at her, she doesn't see me doing it, and her face luminous, dusted with glitter. She was amazing. If only I–

New message from Astrid. 

Thank you for your enthusiasm. Anything for my fans. 

I exhale a laugh. That’s funny. Amusement is followed by the dreadful sense I’ve been caught doing something illegal. Wondering why I’m reliving all this old stuff. What am I trying to feel? I tap the corner of the picture, delete it, and Evie vanishes. I relax my shoulders, relieved, absolved of sin.

 “Something good on your phone?” Jonas says. 

“Nah, I was trying to text Astrid, but I have a poor signal.”

“Ah. Yes. We are in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yeah?” I peer out at oceans of dense vegetation, mist layered between the trees. “Long journey, isn’t it?”

He looks at his phone. “Three hours to go, then another four on the bus.”

“Music to my ears.”

He attempts a laugh. 

“Do you want to talk or something?”

“About what?”

“I don’t know. We can also not talk, if that’s what you prefer.”

“Talking would be nice if my head was clear, and I didn’t feel so unwell. Sorry. I know I’m not bringing a lot of fun on this journey for you. I thought it would be better, but…” he trails off miserably, and I nod. “It’s fine. Been there. We can also just sit.”

“Is it okay for me to say I don’t want to do this kind of thing anymore? I mean, going out and drinking so much and having so many drugs.”

I chuckle. “That’s the classic thing, isn’t it? We always say that, and then a few days later we’re out doing it all again. The circle of life. You mean that now, but I know you.”

“I think I mean it. I’ve had enough. I am tired of being sick and worrying so much about the things I may have said or done. My life has been this way for so many years.”

“Mine too.”

“It ruins everything.”

“Like with that girl last night?”

He chews his lip. “Nothing happened. I was too drunk. She left me to sleep on the couch and I ran away in the morning before she woke up.”

“Oh.”

“And I don’t want things to be like that anymore. I don’t want to feel so stupid. She was a nice person, and I humiliated myself.”

My phone sits hot in my palm, a token of my guilt and stupidity. “Maybe you’re right, then. Maybe we should stop.”

“You think you will?” 

I almost tell him about last night, and the text, and Evie and the reasons I felt driven to, as I so often do when high and lonely, when that innate melancholy I carry creeps in, but I stop myself. I don’t talk about the past with people from my present. There is no point. It’s over, and I have already walked away from it. 

“Yeah, I think I’ll probably have to. I recognise it isn’t doing me any favours.”

A half-smile, then. “What will Elias and Dalia think?”

“Of us going all straight-edge? I dunno. We’ll find out in Berlin.” I stretch my arms and neck, stiff from sitting so long. “I think I’ll walk the corridors for a bit, if you don’t mind.”

“Okay.”

And as I do that, stroll up and down the hallways, peeking into other cabin, using the bathroom, admiring nature from a window at the rear of the train, I consider the good intentions and promises I have made in my life. The girlfriends I promised I’d always care about, the grades I said I’d uphold, the fitness I said I’d reach, the bedroom I said I’d eventually clean, friends I swore I’d stay in touch with… Saying I’ll stop doing drugs is kind of like that, just something said for the sake of saying it, to create a pretence that I’m a person who makes wise or healthy choices without ever intending to follow through. I can’t stand the pressure. I’ll act this way in Thailand for Jonas’ benefit, and feel better for it, knowing in a month I’ll be in the Berghain toilets again, accepting mystery pills from people in latex vests. 

Back in the cabin, he reclines, leafing through his travel guide. “All good?” he says, and I nod. “I think I’ll try to sleep for a bit.”

“Okay then. If you sleep too long, I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

I lay down, my face in the pillow and listen to sounds of pattering rain, squeaky bunks and the pages of the book, and I sleep, deep, sound, all the way to the end of the line.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[gather-ye-fucking-rosebuds]

“Hello?” a groggy voice said on the other side of the telephone line. “Who is this?”

“Meeks,” Todd said, wide awake despite not having slept a wink the night before. “It’s Todd. I need you to put Charlie on.”

“Todd?” Meeks mumbled. There was a rustling and then he said, “Are you and Neil not in your room?”

“No. Please go get Charlie, it’s important,” Todd said again, more urgently. “It’s about Neil.”

Silence filled the conversation, and Todd worried that Meeks would press for details. As he had stared at the dark ceiling throughout the night, all Todd could think about was Neil and his father. He decided that the fewer people who knew about it, the better, so Charlie was the only poet he was going to tell. For now.

On the other end, Meeks let out a tired sigh and said, “Okay, give me one second.” After a click indicated that he had set down the phone, Todd let out a sigh he didn’t realize he had been holding.

The silence gave Todd a moment to think about exactly what he was doing. Before this he had called Mrs. Perry and briefly discussed what her plan was. “I’m going to call the cops and tell them I did it,” she explained with a wobbly voice.

“But you haven’t yet?” Todd clarified.

“No, but I—”

“Good,” Todd interrupted. “Don’t. Not yet.”

He promptly hung up with out explaining any further, and then dialed his dorm’s number that he remembered from when he had agreed to call Neil over Thanksgiving break when he visited his family and Neil had to stay at school and take extra lessons.

And now, here he was, waiting and hoping for the boy who once told him he’d rather die and go to hell than wake up before seven in the morning to come talk to him at five fifty after staying out late the night before. But thankfully, Charlie’s voice rang in Todd’s ear only a minute later.

“Todd, what’s up?” he asked with a scratchy voice.

He’d rehearsed this probably a dozen times in the mirror, but it still felt very wrong and at the same time incredibly right when he said, “Neil killed his father last night. And we need you to help with the cover up.”

[plaidos]

I think what a lot of transadrodorks don't realize (or at least I hope it's a "not realize" rather than a "willfully ignore" but y'know) is that like. No one is saying that they have the same privileges as cis men to the general public, especially when they don't pass, because we all realize transphobia still exists. But that they *are* afforded more privilege when compared to a transfem/otherwise tma person. Like it's so frustrating as a trans guy to see the "so you think we're the same as cis men?" When like!!! Most people realize there are other factors at play in the eyes of the general public!! But even in cis society people are way more likely to respect a tme than a tma for no other reason than transmisogyny. It's so stupidddddd and frustrating I'm sorry women. Sorry if this is worded badly it's 5am and I haven't slept yet

the truth is they know we aren’t saying they have the same privileges as cis men — they just will not concede that they have any kind of privilege or benefit above transfems, because if they don’t HAVE to concede that misogyny is a problem within the trans community, then they won’t, so they can keep treating us this way. the transmascs who don’t want to be transmisogynists have already, for the most part, realised the sexist structure within the trans community and have moved to support transfems already — the misogynists who remain have no interest in listening to us, because they want us to be lower than them.