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janiedean · 3 years ago

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I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jonsa #anti jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti jonerys #both of them for equality

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brynnmck · 4 years ago

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J/B Smut Swap recs!

I come bearing @jb-smut-swap recs! Presented mostly in posting order because that’s mostly how I read them, though first, my wonderful gift fic:

Jaime’s Game by @catherineflowers29 - SOFTEST BONDAGE EVER. I have told multiple people that reading this story felt like getting a warm hug, but with ropes. And a crucial part of the softness is the vulnerability between them, the way they’re so clearly building their trust in each other, taking care of each other, and there’s just a little bit of adorable awkwardness too as they negotiate this new thing together. It made my heart so glowy and happy. Cathy, thank you so much for volunteering to pick this up and delivering something so well-suited to my requests; I could feel the care you took with this and I appreciate it so much! <333

More recs below the cut ‘cause this got long (as did Jaime, HEYOOO); if I missed anyone’s Tumblr handle, please let me know!

Binary Explosive by @sdwolfpup - Okay this isn’t in posting order but I DID read this first and also it’s my blog and I make the rules. Am I biased about this fic because it’s SDW and because it was inspired by one of my favorite due South episodes? Yes. Does that make this fic any less amazing? IT DOES NOT. This is battle couple/mutual competence kink/danger kink at its finest, crackling with banter and absolutely dripping with (literally potentially lethal) sexual tension, all wrapped up in an entirely swoonworthy established relationship. The cocktail of soft and horny here is thoroughly intoxicating, and it’s so much FUN, with just the right hint of crack, and the ending makes me kick my feet in glee every time I read it (which has been, of my own volition, SEVERAL TIMES). LOVE.

Thrust Exercises by @nire-the-mithridatist - STRIP SPARRING. We’ve all said it but also oh my god STRIP SPARRING. WHAT A GENIUS THOUGHT. This is a fabulous combination of fun and sexy, and they’re so FOND in it, too--nire hits such a beautiful note of playful competitiveness and also a little shyness/awkwardness and a LOT of heat and, has been very correctly noted, a VERY wonderfully slutty Jaime. (Jaime’s premeditation regarding their wedding night is both very horny and very sweet/thoughtful, and thus very Jaime, and also his line about how he quite likes her loud face is right up there with my favorite love confessions, as well as being a thing that Jaime and I very much have in common. AGH SO GOOD.)

Second Chances by @firesign23 - I love me some JAB and the setup of this is so delicious, that Brienne is given a second chance at an opportunity she once turned down. This is another one where all three of them just LIKE each other so much--the J/B is so solid and lived-in and warm, and the history between Jaime and Addam is delicious, and the Brienne/Addam has that little thrill of newness and “oh my god we actually get to do this” (there is a kitchen kiss that is GOOD TIMES for me). So much trust and love here, it’s lovely.

crosslines, the scratches and stains by QuixoticChloe - One of two sex bruises fics in the swap, and SCORCHING hot. This whole thing has such a teasing vibe to it, and a sense of dirty discovery within an established relationship, and the whole “we’ve got a sexy secret and we’re gonna torture each other with it as much as possible” aspect was A LOT. Damn.

Diplomatic Relations by @eryiscrye - In which Jaime and Brienne get married and proceed to scandalize/delight/horrify the entire continent with their loud married sex. IT’S GREAT. It’s Eryi’s so you know it’s gonna be super hot, and she really touched on so many of the greatest hits here: cave sex, armory sex, water sex, quiet sex, alcove sex, SO MANY GOOD CHOICES and so much sweetness to go with them, too. And the other characters’ pained/pleased observations were hysterical. SO much fun.

Apart, Together, Together Apart by greenmtwoman - Oof, this one made my chest ache in the best way. It’s so soft and romantic and LONGING and full of equal parts Brienne and Jaime’s devotion to each other and devotion to their respective duties, which feels incredibly true to them. The way this story builds and releases and then slowly builds tension again is lovely, and it’s bittersweet, but very full of hope for their future.

left your fingerprints all over me by @writergirl2011 - Friends-with-benefits-to-dating, yessssss. The banter in this was adorable, and the connection between them was so palpable, and it was delightful to watch them finally acknowledge their feelings.

Good Long Line of Praises by @aliveanddrunkonsunlight - In which Brienne discovers that Jaime has a praise kink and we ALL get to benefit. Actually the praise goes both ways here, and the result is lovely--they take each other apart at the same time they’re holding each other very closely, and it’s a wonderful mix of sweet and sexy. Another established relationship fic that included so much joy of discovery built over a strong foundation.

Nights Avoiding Things Unholy by @forbiddenfantasies1 - I was lucky enough to get a sneak preview of this one and when I tell you that it has been living rent-free in my mind ever since... this is LUDICROUSLY, brain-cell-incineratingly hot, with so many delicious horny details, but also with FF’s trademark gigantic heart behind it (I feel like heart + hornt is basically FF’s brand and I love this for all of us). Again, you get such a strong sense that these two LIKE each other so much, even when they’re a little resentful and a lot scared about it, and the filth is so full of genuine affection that it makes it all the more devastating. I literally read this and was like “shit, I gotta up my game” regarding my own draft, lol. SO GOOD.

Light My Fire by @wildlingoftarth - While I fully respect and celebrate the union suit kink, I don’t have strong feelings about it, myself, but this fic made me a convert. The painstakingly sexy descriptions here were SO MUCH, and I’m also such a huge sucker for the slightly chaotic camp counselors vibe of this, that sort of euphoria and recklessness that overtakes you when something time-bound is about to end. The banter was adorable, there were so many moments that made me giggle, and of course it was hot as hell too and I’m very glad that these two dorks FINALLY figured it out.

Clothes (un)Make the Man by @aviss - CLOTHES-SWAPPING YESSSSS. I am such a sucker for that and Aviss delivered on it beautifully; seeing the progression of their relationship was so delightful and the feelings built so well throughout, and there were a couple of lines that made me laugh out loud, and, again, both the tension and the smut were super hot. LOVELY.

I’ll never let you go (if you promise not to fade away) by LadyRhiyana - This fic is going to HAUNT ME in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. For one thing, I have checked the word count MULTIPLE times to make sure it’s not ten times as long because the world here is so vivid and so affecting that it’s like some sort of magic. I adore the setting here, and Cersei’s POV is spectacular--she’s all sharp edges and frustrated longing for the things she thinks she can’t have and I felt for her SO MUCH. Both she and Jaime are just incredibly, helplessly horny for (HOT MECHANIC) Brienne, and I loved the way that LadyRhiyana made it so clear that having Brienne there shifts the balance for Jaime and Cersei just enough that all their spikes can slide together a little better instead of just eviscerating each other all the time--and yet this happens without ever making it feel like Brienne is just a conduit or a means to an end for them; all three sides of the triad feel thoroughly distinct and important (including a very deft hand with the Jaime/Cersei aspect). It’s also EXTREMELY hot, and the Jaime/Brienne aspect has so much softness to it, and Brienne is so forthright and so kind and so curious, and AGH. I loved this.

a grip so tight I couldn’t tear it apart by @janiedean - The other sex bruises fic, and this one ended up (coincidentally, I assume) being a perfect bookend to the other one--if the modern AU is all about sexy secrets, this canon-based one is all about Jaime and Brienne’s pride in each other and joy in not having to hide their relationship, gleefully declaring their love and desire for each other for everyone to see. I was so happy for them!

with those who know secret things by @sdwolfpup - This has been recced widely and DESERVEDLY SO. The amount of CARE in this fic is overwhelming, and it’s full of all of these subtle details that suddenly come into sharp focus at just the right moment to really devastate you, and by you, I mean me. The prose itself is also gorgeous--the description of Brienne in her ad came directly for my throat (as well as some other places)--and it’s beautiful to watch these two surprise and delight and take care of each other. They’re both so GOOD and Jaime is so soft and vulnerable and Brienne is so kind and incisive and THEY LIKE EACH OTHER AND WANT EACH OTHER SO MUCH I CAN’T. The whole thing is lustrous and wonderful and I adored it.

Today Will Die Tomorrow by HNJ - This fic also DESTROYED me. The way the time shifts are handled so that we slowly put the pieces of the night together and feel the full impact of each moment, the understated delicacy and very obvious love with which both Jaime and Brienne are handled, the multiple lines that made me catch my breath with how TRUE they were, the way their love for each other uncurls and opens up to the light over the course of the story... it’s really gorgeous and just burrowed right into my heart. I also loved that this was a canon-based first time that focused more on Brienne not knowing what to do emotionally than not knowing what to do physically; I’ve read and enjoyed the latter a bunch of times but the former felt really fresh and fascinating; it was an excellent take.

Hush by @kiraziwrites - I have a thing for quiet sex anyway, and like everyone else, I will be suing kirazi for the fact that this fic left my brain a smoldering wreckage with nary a coherent thought left for the comment box. The sex in this is so deliciously varied and dirty and every bit of it feels somehow decadent and completely necessary at the same time, and watching their relationship build as they try each new thing is wonderful, and there are so many images in this that have burned themselves into the empty space where my brain used to be and taken up permanent residence. I could list MANY, but a sampling: the glacier comparison, and Brienne’s teeth-marks in Jaime’s jacket, and also Brienne DROPPING A CONDOM IN JAIME’S POCKET AND PROPOSITIONING HIM ARE YOU ACTUALLY TRYING TO END MY LIFE, KIRAZI. It’s also so funny and so fond and the fact that it’s literally exactly 5K is such a flex, I can’t even. Gah. TOO MUCH.

we used to wait by @it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined - I was reading things in update order and I kept thinking that I hadn’t read one yet that I could clock as jencat’s, and then kirazi was flailing about this fic and how beautiful the prose was and how strong a sense of place it had and I was like aha without even having read it yet. And this fic is indeed those things, as well as being sexy as fuck; Jen just drags the tension out and out in this very deliberate-yet-spare-yet-somehow-also-lush way until you want to claw your face off (and then she makes it totally worth the wait, too). Their relationship had some wonderful details, too, to show how well-matched they are--Jaime increasing the speed on his treadmill to match Brienne’s, rather than to exceed it, wasn’t what I was expecting and worked fabulously in this context--and the image of Jaime leaning against the wall at a crucial moment was SO MUCH. Whew. Just lovely.

The Waters and the Wild by LadyRhiyana - The last entry in the swap but by no means the least! This was another one where I couldn’t believe how much happened in such a short space; the descriptions were so vivid and cinematic, I could see the whole landscape unfold in my head, and it included some high-quality competence kink, too. We get just enough backstory to be fully invested in this version of Jaime and Brienne, including their delightful hidden-identity initial meeting, and the tension and affection and trust and frustration between them just simmers and simmers until it inevitably boils over and it’s incredibly satisfying. I also thoroughly adored the ending--including Brienne being as indignant as Jaime at [redacted]--and I would buy this movie so fast if it actually existed.

#jaime x brienne #jaime x brienne fic rec #braime #jb smut swap #hopefully i didn't forget anything #congratulations to everyone on a wonderful job!

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highpope · 4 years ago

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Silver Keys - Ch. Four

JJ Maybank x OC x Topper Thorton // Soulmate AU

warnings: mentions of abuse, swearing

notes: HI! I rewrote the ending of this ch. instead of finishing my Industry paper. I really hope you liked it :) Let me know what you think!!

Tags: @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @auds24 @messagesinthesky @collecting-stories @cognacdelights @sunsetholland @uwubonebabie

(if you wanna be tagged or removed message me)

JJ never liked his birthday. It was just the weight of the day and the pressure to make it memorable. It was never something he could give himself. He didn’t like to make a big deal about it either. It was easier that way. It’s not that he didn’t appreciate what his friends did for him, he really did.

JJ remembers for his 16th birthday his dad was passed out drunk the whole morning and Pope came and picked him up and they went surfing all day. Later they stayed at John B’s, sang happy birthday, and had brownies, his favorite. He had found out later that Kie and June had baked the brownies themselves. It was the best birthday he had ever had.

JJ’s birthdays were always a fight with his dad. Like a sad yearly tradition that left him more bruised than the day before. The day reminded his dad of his mom and how they weren’t in love anymore and that she left him. That’s JJ, the constant reminder of the shitty world they live in.

His mom left them both. JJ always clarified that. If his dad got to be bitter and drink himself to death, then JJ got to be upset about it. Even just a little.

He hadn’t lived with his dad in a few years, only stopping in once and a while to make sure he wasn’t dead, had paid the bills, and kept food in the fridge. He didn’t deserve it, but not doing it made JJ feel guilty.

JJ had made it clear to his friends that he didn’t want to draw attention to his birthday this year.

“We’re not doing any party shit, okay? I just wanna go surf.” He had said Sunday. No one argued, but Kie did insist they at least go to The Wreck Friday for dessert. They all agreed and would stay over at the chateau to get to the beach the following morning. That was before June stood him up for surfing. And before she said she’d go out with Topper Friday night. Pope seemed to be on her side which was just the icing on his sad, sad birthday cake. He said as such to him when they went surfing Tuesday morning.

“JJ, I am not on anyone’s side. There are no sides.”

“But you knew!” JJ responded, his thoughts were circling in his head.

Pope sighed, “I knew that he sort of asked her out back at that party, but I didn’t know he came into the shop yesterday. and,” he gave JJ a pointed look, “I didn’t know you’d be this upset about June going on a date.”

“I’m not. She can go out with whoever she wants to go out with,” he said matter of factly.

Pope just raised his eyebrows and went back to unloading his car. They hadn’t made it down to the beach yet, JJ too distracted to keep walking.

“It’s just Topper man,” JJ fake shivered.

“Listen, no one’s thrilled about it being him, but we at least owe it to June to act, I don't know, neutral about the situation.”

“Okay, okay,” JJ brushed off his comment.

JJ wanted to say that no one knew if Topper was really June’s soulmate or not, but he knew that he would tell JJ not to be rude and accuse him of being in love with his best friend. Which was not the case here.

“No, I’m serious JJ. Don’t make her feel bad about going out with him. We owe it to her. That and about a million other things.”

JJ let that thought roll over in his mind. He was right. June was the most caring person in the world, she had put them all first every single time.

“Yeah, I know.” He paused, “And what if it’s not him?”

Pope was already walking down the beach, annoyed at how long JJ was taking, “then we fuck his shit up.”

JJ laughed at his abruptness because that’s exactly what he would have said.

The both of them spent the next few hours in the water, but JJ couldn’t stop thinking about what Pope said. And that’s why, the next day, JJ got out of bed before noon and drove to the bait shop around the time June would be getting off. He knew she wouldn’t have driven there, it was too nice of a day. So, he sat in the parking lot and waited.

When she was finally leaving, she used the side door. JJ had to run to catch up with her, startling both himself and June.

“Hey!” he called out.

She froze before turning around, “what’re you doing?” “Can I drive you home?”

She thought about it before agreeing.

“I’m sorry,” JJ began when they had gotten out of the parking lot. She was quiet and very visibly tired.

“The JJ Maybank… apologizing?” So, she was still mad.

“Okay, I deserve that. Go ahead, give it to me.”

June stayed silent in the passenger seat, her head leaning against the window, “No, I just shouldn’t have said anything.”

He gripped the steering wheel tighter, “No, it was shitty of me to be all passive-aggressive about it. It really doesn’t matter who you go out with or who you don’t or if it’s Topper or whoever.”

He looked over at her, bouncing her leg up and down and still leaning against the door.

“Are we okay?” he asks

“Always.” It took a moment for her to look over at him but she smiled. JJ cleared his throat and shifted his eyes back to the road. He already felt better, like he could breathe properly again knowing she wasn’t pissed off at him.

“What’re you humming?” He asks.

Her eyes were closed when she answered, “I don’t know. It’s been stuck in my head all day.” and then she started humming again, louder for JJ to hear.

“Oh, I know that song!” He starts to sing along, filling in the words.

June laughs, “I’ve literally never heard that song. That’s wild.”

“It’s your soulmate?” JJ poses tentatively.

“Yeah, yeah I guess so.” She breathed.

When they parked he asked, “Do you really think it’s Topper?”

June shot him a look instantly. He held his hands up in surrender, “I’m not arguing. Just… curious.”

She sighed a little before speaking, “I don’t know. But I’d hate myself if I didn’t try to find out, ya know?”

JJ just nodded his head, she looked as if she wanted to say more, but stopped herself. June climbed out of the truck and yelled behind her, “See you Friday?”

“Of course,” he yelled back. He watched her close the door behind her before driving off.

JJ didn’t go straight back to the chateau. Instead, he kept driving, the radio at the lowest possible setting, all the windows down until he ended up at his dad’s house. He parked a few houses down and just watched. He wasn’t sure if he was trying to build up the courage to go in, or if he wanted to see his dad come out, or what. He stayed for a while, not thinking about anything specific, just breathing in the cool air and watching.

Sometimes JJ wanted so badly to hate his dad. He desperately tries to erase all traces of familiarity, every last thing about himself that could possibly lead someone to Luke Maybank. He hated him. He hated him for giving JJ his eyes and his rough demeanor. He used to wish to be softer, kinder, more gentle. Someone like Pope or June. Instead, he was steel, dented, and hard to fix.

Sometimes JJ wanted so badly to hate his dad and everything he had done to him, that he couldn’t.

On Friday morning, well Friday afternoon, JJ walked into the living room of an empty chateau. Half asleep, he stumbled into the kitchen and pulled out an empty Eggo waffle box from the freezer. Cool. He then dragged his feet over to the cabinets and pulled out what was left of the coffee grounds and began making a pot. He thought about calling Pope and making him bring some breakfast from his dad’s, but then he saw the note on the counter.

went to get groceries. can’t survive on stale Oreos anymore

John b.

Well, that answered that JJ thought as his stomach growled. Stale Oreos didn’t sound too bad now.

About a half-hour later, he heard someone on the front porch and thought it must be JB back from the store, hands filled with groceries.

He flung open the door, “God, I’m starving. What-” He stopped in his tracks. Standing in front of him was his dad. It felt wrong, having him here. In this place, in this safe space that he and his friends had created. Such evil and anger weren’t welcome.

“What’re you doing here?” JJ said when his mouth finally caught up with his brain.

“Is that any way to greet your father?” Luke spoke as if he was reading from a teleprompter. His words were slow and meaningless, slurred together without a thought behind them.

JJ stayed silent, disgust rising in him.

“Heard you were in the neighborhood.”

“No,” JJ said through gritted teeth, “must’ve been someone else.”

“Don’t lie to me, boy. I’m the one who taught you how.” He was inching closer. He reeked of alcohol and sweat.

“You didn’t teach me anything.” He spits.

“Listen to me you little shit” Luke started, laughing as he lunged forward. It was a dark, empty sound. It made JJ’s ears ring. He closed his eyes for a second and the laugh echoed. It encompassed him, became him. JJ saw every fight, every empty beer bottle, every stack of cash blown away, every sleepless night and it overtook him. He was the product of hatred. He was steel, so scratched and dented and kicked in that not even the best people could fix him.

When JJ opened his eyes, his body hurt and his ears were ringing and he thought his lip was bleeding. He was laying on the porch, propped up against the doorframe. Once he was sure his dad had left, he started to get up. Every thought in his head was replaced by the throbbing of his left side. The more he walked, the more he breathed, the quicker it morphed into anger, “Fuck,” he yelled, “He came here! Here. Here. He was here.” He repeated it over and over until the words had no meaning. He left through the backdoor and ended up at the overlook. His mind was racing, replaying the moments from earlier and every moment prior. JJ didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to be the little kid with the shitfaced dad who forgot his birthday. But he was, so he did. JJ cried until his eyes were puffy and his head hurt and the sun had started setting.

Now, JJ was sitting in John B’s spare room. He crawled in through the window, not wanting to run into anyone if they were home. They were probably trying to call, but his phone was in the living room from this morning. He didn’t want to have to tell them, watch as their eyes scanned over him to assess the damage. He looked around the room that had somehow become his own. There were clothes piled on the floor, a few swimsuits left from the others hanging on the door, and empty beer cans littering the ground. The bed frame was broken, making the whole mattress tilt slightly towards the left.

JJ didn’t know what it was like to call someplace home. He was always hesitant, afraid that someone would just pull the rug out from under his feet and he’d be left falling. He never called his childhood bedroom home, it was a house. With four walls and a shitload of bad memories. He wanted to scream, why did he still let his dad have this control over him? He threw a shoe across the room and stormed out before stopping short in the hallway. He could hear a voice in the living room.

“Kie, it’s fine. I’m not going to be late, I just stopped at the chateau to get changed.”

She paused.

“Because it’s faster than driving all the way back to my house.”

“Okay, see you in five.”

Shit, his birthday dinner. JJ tried to retreat to the room, but he wasn’t fast enough. June had already seen him, “J! I didn’t know anyone was here. Thought you’d be with everyone else by now.”

She was holding onto the door frame with one hand and attempting to pry off her heels with the other. She was wearing a sparkling purple dress that he didn’t recognize and her hair was lazily pulled up on top of her head. A wave of nerves flooded his body, but he suppressed the feeling almost as fast as it happened.

He cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah. I was just leaving. Actually.” He grabbed his keys off the counter. He wasn’t sure if she could see his bruised knuckles from there, but he didn’t want to give her the chance.

“I can drive,” she offered softly, “if you’ll wait five minutes so I can get out of this shit,”

He nodded his head, and slowly sat at the counter, “spare’s open if you want.”

She nodded, heading into the room. JJ took this opportunity to bandage his side in the bathroom. It was already bruised, so he put some aloe vera on before taping it up and changing into a different shirt. Pope had mentioned once that aloe vera can help inflammation. Ever since there’s been a bottle in the first aid kit. He liked the smell, reminded him of summer.

He cleaned the cuts on his hand and his lip like he should have when he first got here. The blood was dry on his face and cleaning it only made the cut reopen. Fuck it, he thought and met June back in the living room.

She had changed into jeans.

“Hey, is this mine?” she asked, pointing to the shirt she was wearing. It was a gray high school track t-shirt, “I forgot to pack one and saw this in the dresser.”

“Must be, I didn’t do track, hell no.”

She laughs before linking her arm through his and leading them to the car. JJ couldn’t help but wonder how her date went. She was in good spirits, better than usual he noticed. He wanted to ask, but he was certain he didn’t want to know the answer. He wanted to tell her about his dad, too, surprisingly. But he knew the face that she’d make as soon as the words were out of his mouth. And that hurt JJ more than the possible broken rib.

When they got to The Wreck, Mr. Carerra waved them to the back where the rest of their friends sat. It felt the most normal JJ had felt in a long time like time resets itself when the five of them sit around a wooden table eating ice cream.

He tried to focus on the conversation, on the light music being played through the restaurant, on the crickets outside, anything to ground him to this moment.

“JJ?” John B asked from across the table.

“Hey,” June said a little louder, hitting his stomach to get his attention. He winced slightly before responding, “huh? Sorry. I was, uh, trying to figure out what song was playing.”

Pope and Kie share a look before diverting their attention back to John B who repeated his question, “Are you excited to figure out your soulmate?”

“Oh,” JJ laughed, “yeah. Thrilled.”

“Come on, it’s kind of exciting. You’ve gotta admit that.”

“Yeah, I guess.” His eyes scan the table, stopping at each of his friends. Truthfully, he doesn’t want anything to change. He’d trade a soulmate for his friends any day. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

When Kie's dad finally kicks them out of the restaurant, he makes her stay behind to clean the tables. They all offer to help, but to JJ’s excitement she assures them to go ahead and that she'd meet back up with them in a little. Pope and John B hop in the van and start driving away before the rest of them are even in the parking lot, “See you in ten,” Pope yells from the passenger side.

Once June and JJ are in the car, she makes JJ close her eyes.

“Why?” he questioned.

“Just do it.”

“June, I really-”

“Please?”

He huffed and pulled down his hat to cover his eyes. He could hear her moving around next to him.

“Okay, open.” JJ did as he was told and was presented with a soft gift-wrapped present.

“Happy birthday,” she said sweetly. She was facing him, turned sideways in the driver's seat with her head resting on the chair.

“It’s not my birthday yet.” He said, meeting her eyes.

“I wanted to be first.”

“I told you not to get me anything.”

“I don’t care,” she chuckled.

“June,”

“Take the present, you jerk.”

He pulled back the paper revealing a keychain laid on top of some type of clothes. He held it up to get a better look and realized it was a surfboard with “OBX” written on it like from a tacky souvenir shop, “cute.”

She smiled, “now look at that.”

He lifted the crewneck in his lap, it was a light blue color and had stitching near the colors.

Before he could say anything June interrupted, “Found it in that thrift shop by my house the other day.”

“I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, are you kidding?” He laughed a little, “thank you.”

She smiled again, satisfied with herself before turning forward and starting the car.

JJ messed with the rings on his fingers, examining the bruises that had started to form/

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,”

“Have you… heard anything else? Like your soulmate, I guess.”

He felt her hesitate beside him, “Ya know what nevermind. It’s okay, you’re pretty sure it’s Topper and you really don’t have to tell me anything. It is totally okay. I was just-”

“Nervous?”

He sighs, “yeah.”

She clears her throat, “it’s not scary. At all. It is weird though, weird as hell. I mean it’s almost like if you weren't paying attention, you’d never even notice.”

She had the same far-off look John B got when he talked about this shit. It made him uneasy.

“But to answer your question, I’ve only heard it a few times.”

He nodded his head and mulled over what she said.

When he opened the door to the chateau, he was met by everyone standing in the living room, “happy birthday!”

“You distracted me!” He yelled at June shutting the door.

“It was my job!” she yelled back, “I had to give them time.”

He was laughing at everyone’s stupid party hats and the tray of brownies with sloppy “happy bday J” iced on top with a single lit candle. He made a show of blowing it out and pulled the others into a hug. He pretended to be annoyed at the effort, but deep down he had been so excited.

Later, he tried to etch it into his mind. He wanted to remember tonight as the best birthday he had ever had. He smiled as he fell asleep on a mattress that didn’t tilt to the left anymore in a room that he had made his home.

#obx #obx fic #topper obx #topper outer banks #jj maybank #jj obx #jj outer banks #jj x oc #outer banks #outer banks fic #obx soulmate #outerbanks #outer banks soulmate #jj maybank x oc #original character #highpope-fics #highpope #silver keys #silver keys masterlist

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yeoldontknow · 4 years ago

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🖊️writers tag game🖊️

tagged by *deep breath* @ditzymax @red-exo @kyungseokie @j-pping @blackberrykai and...someone else im pretty sure for this sweet little tag game. thank you so much angels!

1. what is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

this confused me for a moment...because shouldn’t it be where? im so sorry. ok honestly...my ideal setting is in my bathroom in the tub with no water. this is ideal but i rarely do it. primarily this is because i do my best thinking by water - lakes, oceans, nature - which has resulted in tubs and sinks. i once wrote a midterm paper in my dorm bathroom in the nook under the tall sink. but because its uncomfortable and impractical, and i am not pressured to finish a paper under a time crunch, im kind of...all over the place? sometimes i write in bed with a few candles lit. other times im on the couch in my living room. i have a desk and i did all of chanvember last year at this desk, but since ive been working from home the writing space has become the work space and im still struggling to get the balance right. in all scenarios, i need a good snack (usually hummus + chips/veggies), water, and music playing is an absolute must. if the music is wrong, i simply cant write. thats how its always been.

2. what is your favorite genre to write?

angst, horror, mafia, historical, science fiction. i love love love writing these genres. romance falls thematically into these, but writing strictly a romantic drama is incredibly difficult for me.

3. do you prefer to write on paper, or digitally?

these days im all digital but when i was working in the office i was a mix of both. id scribble ideas on a piece of paper and rip it out to take it home; if i was on the train, id write ideas quickly into my notes app. several paragraphs of hero, replay, currents, and bloodletting exist on paper which i eventually transcribed into docs. but if im sitting down to write a fic, its generally digital.

4. it’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea. what do you do?

i have to flesh out the idea before i transcribe it. it depends on its its a plot idea or a line. if its a line that hits me or feels important, it immediately goes into the planning doc for whatever fic it relates to or suits best. i will then think about this line over and over until it becomes nonsensical an, hopefully though it is highly unlikely, fall back asleep and dream up something inspired by this line.

if its a story idea, i generally dont forget those so i dont need to immediately write them. those kinds of ideas arise out of dreams (assuming it woke me up, in this scenario) and i rarely forget what i dream. in that situation, i will not be able to fall back asleep. anyone who knows me knows that i struggle getting sleep. at best i will average 3-4 hours a night, simply because im thinking too much. so if this woke me up, ill spend the rest of the night thinking about how i want it to go, who it will suit, making a playlist or thinking about songs, gathering inspiration from my fiction fodder blogs, and only when the sun comes up will i consider perhaps its time for sleep. once i officially begin the day, ill review the vague planning doc ill likely have formed in my brain and actually compile it into a tangible document.

5. who is your favorite person to write about?

i mean....hello lmaooo park chanyeol. hes my muse. i do all my best writing for him, even if its unintentional. in other groups, i adore writing for taehyung and namjoon. their minds compel me. ive recently been thinking about writing some pieces for got7 and i do have an unfinished WIP for @red-exo and in all instances writing for JB excites me.

6. do you like making your own characters, or do you usually write about real people?

i mean...its RPS fic on this blog, so its real people but its a face claim. theyre kind of like my barbie dolls i insert into worlds in my head. so in a sense...theyre my own characters but they happen to look like idols lmao conversely, writing original characters (as in wyrm tamer, asas, theoretically TQIS) scares me. ive written rps fanfic for so long its as though ive lost confidence in writing my own characters. this is why many of my stories have started to see the introduction of other characters to practice it.

7. have you ever written a book, or a story with more than 15 chapters (or 100k words)?

ok the answer is yes but its not published. its 30 chapters, 200k words. it was originally a fanfic and ive toyed with editing it over the years in the advent that maybe one day i would publish it if i liked it enough.

fun fact: hero is about 15K away from 100K words. i will be celebrating when it gets there.

8. how often do you get ideas?

like...constantly. all the time. every time i hear music, or watch a film, or read something in a book, my mind commences the ‘would you like to go to another dimension’ quest and i always, without fail, hit the yes button.

9. do you ever get an idea that you really like, but just can’t seem to finish?

*glances sidelong at my masterlist and my 17 unpublished wips* you must be new here

10. what is your least favorite plot?

like...genre? as i said before, idol!verse is something i refrain from reading. i struggle profoundly writing fluff/romantic fluff which is why i try to practice it. plots, in general, in which someone has to go through a makeover of some kind (appearance wise) to suddenly be categorically enough (this isnt just fic...its how i feel in any media). rape/dub-con is a hard pass. otherwise, im down for pretty much anything.

11. tag 5 or more people

@dark-muse-iris @yehet-me-up @jiminiethot @iq-biased @yoonia @jamaisjoons @jenmyeons @fairyyeols @readyplayerhobi @johobi @yixingminseokjongdae @imdifferentshadesofpurple yall i think everyone and their brother has done this tag. if ive tagged you and youve already done it im real sorry :( as always please only do this if you wish

#about me #writers tag game #its absolutely comical how far behind on little tags i am #heavens to betsy

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pickledchickenetti · 5 years ago

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Without a Crystal Ball’s alleged Derick Dillard interview

I don’t know how trustworthy I consider this woman given her claims of interviews often seem to back out of appearing on camera at the last minute, but here’s a recap of what she claims she’s been told by Derick. Sorry for the length and the change of tense midway through. This video is mind-numbing.

She claims she wanted to be able to do this with Derick speaking himself but instead she’s going to summarize their conversations via email and Twitter DMs. She reached out to Derick in response to comments he made in Dec/Jan about Counting On and JB/the Duggars. She plugs her earlier video talking about his tweets, then summarizes the events since Joshgate 1.0.

Her summary of Joshgate 1.0 honestly made me pretty uncomfortable. She tiptoes around the subject of what happened, and almost seems like she things the Duggars were victimized by In Touch getting them cancelled. She uses this to pivot to Jill being a victim (of In Touch, she says she was a “target” of Josh), and talks about the Megyn Kelly interview, calling it “awkward”. According to “Derick”, while 19 Kids and Counting ceased, the contract with Jim Bob did not stop or change. Then she explains what Counting On is, and repeats Derick’s claim from twitter that they were never paid. She makes it sound like their wedding and Israel’s birth were part of the show in which “their names were part of the title”, even though in reality those events were both part of 19KAC. She repeats his twitter claims that JB was the only one getting paid and told them they had donated their time to part of the “mission work” of the family.

She talks about Israel’s birth and repeats Derick’s since-deleted tweets about TLC refusing to pay any of the hospital costs. She continues to muddy the timeline, making it sound like Israel’s birth special was a part of Jill & Jessa: Counting On. Then she reiterates how Derick’s story has never changed over the years, which is blatantly false considering how many times he has contradicted himself in the same month even.

Then she moves on to comments Derick has made on instagram (so far I haven’t heard this woman say anything that we haven’t already seen on social media or reasonably extrapolated). She says that “Derick” said that “Jill had not wanted to film Counting On after the release of the information that had identified her as one of her brother’s victims. He said that she was forced to film by the threat or under the guise of legal action, that she was required by a contract to film.” Finally, as he said on twitter, they decided that filming was too hard on them and they decided not to continue.

Now she appears to actually be pulling up the “messages” from Derick, so I guess all of that was acting like she was saying something new when she wasn’t. I don’t like this woman’s video style at all.

She asked Derick what are some of the misconceptions “that the family, or the public, I’d say the public has about him”. “He got really candid here. He said when it comes to modesty, which is a big part of the Duggars’ show about how women wear skirts, they have long hair, and making sure that they dress without showing a lot of skin... He wrote, ‘I don’t think it’s wrong for girls to wear pants, get piercings, or have short hair. I will encourage my kids, girls or boys, to identify their passions and pursue them even if that requires higher education.’

He said one of the most prevailing misconceptions about him is that he does not like individuals that are in the LGBTQ+. He said ‘Regarding those misconceptions I love all people, including LGBTQ+. My little brother, our fraternity, in our fraternity in college, he is gay. And I still continue to keep up with him, and he is my friend. He’s also publicly noted on twitter, at the same time, that he does like all people, and he does not discriminate. Although he has made tweets in the past about Jazz that has prompted so much of that response by the public.

Then one of the other misconceptions is that Derick and Jill are against drinking because Jim and Michelle do not drink. He said, on alcohol, he said, ‘I don’t think it’s a sin to drink alcohol, but it’s still illegal under the age of 21, so I will always encourage my kids not to break the law, and they will have to decide where they stand on it after that. However I don’t believe it’s appropriate to drink to drunkenness. The Bible is pretty clear about that.’ But when I asked him, does that mean you have consumed alcohol, he said, ‘I have.’ He didn’t say whether or not Jill has, and I would say, based on the fact that he did not answer, I’m guessing Jill might have not...”

Then she shifted to briefly explaining IBLP, which has “questionable teachings” and a homeschool curriculum. She says that Bill Gothard “is not a God, but he claims to be one on TV.” (Can anyone else fact check this? I’ve never even seen him on TV yet alone claiming he’s a god.) She talks about his lawsuit for “a variety of inappropriate conduct” and how that resulted in him being forced out of IBLP. She asked Derick about IBLP and he said he didn’t know much about them but that they teach extra-biblical precepts as truth and he considers that harmful. His example of them being wrong was modesty. Allegedly “Derick” said, “Some stuff with the ILBP [sic] is definitely harmful, but we don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. The Bible is our ultimate authority. God’s word has been around infinitely longer than Bill Gothard and God isn’t worried about needing defense. What people need to realize is that times change but God doesn’t.” He says it’s okay to “be relevant” in somethings while maintaining your faith. He allegedly says that IBLP has too many rules and too many rules are unhealthy. She then literally says that “now we know” that Derick and his family aren’t following IBLP and “there’s some tea”, as if anyone assumed that Jill Dillard with her shorts and nose ring was still a member of IBLP.

Onto public school and Israel’s enrollment. “Derick” claims they considered both public and homeschooling and there was no specific reason they picked public school, just what felt right.

Next, courting, where she says Derick continued with the party line that they chose not to hold hands, hug, etc. on their own, not because of Duggar rules. She acknowledges the possibility that Jill didn’t decide those things, they were just “indoctrinated into her”, but she didn’t get into that with Derick.

“Now to the juicy stuff that all of you guys are here for.” I literally can’t stand this woman and for whatever reason her saying that just pissed me off more.

She didn’t discuss any of the Jazz stuff with him, but she let him know that “someone” made her video with Amy come down. (Not sure how these things are supposed to be related?) She asked if this was something Derick had experienced, with threats of being sued. She says that Derick said he wished Amy could speak to what she wants to, but “Amy is controlled by other people, and we weren’t even allowed to be the first to announce our own life events. Our marriage, expecting our baby, our genders of our children, our births, not by our own choice.” Apparently that gives this woman “a lot of insight”, but I’m not really sure what she thinks it gave her insight on. Obviously all of these people are under contracts and have no control. She says that “Derick” said if he had to do it all over again he’d have made his own announcements even if he’d have gotten in trouble. She says that Derick that plugged his blog and said that more info will come out over time as he “feels more comfortable”, but that they’re still recovering over the last few years and that Jill is still in the middle of a lawsuit over releasing info to InTouch.

“Now to get to the estrangement,” she asked him what made him finally speak out about it. She says the Duggars are following her channel but when SHE mentioned that they weren’t interacting much with the Dillards they “suddenly” wished Derick a happy birthday. (Literally everyone was commenting on that and you can’t “suddenly” wish someone a happy birthday.) She thinks her video made them invite Jinger to that Panera and Target day the day before because she said something about it and also Homeland Security is investigating Josh. (Also Derick announced that they weren’t allowed at the house.) “Derick” says it’s not true that they don’t want to be around Jill’s family at all but there are some people they don’t get along with or feel comfortable around. Supposedly he commented because he didn’t want rumors to be taken as truth.

Now she’s circling back to Jill being “forced” to film. “Derick” says they’ve been seeing a licensed counselor and it helps. The book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and their counseling have both really helped. Then she repeats a bunch of her earlier opinions. She says that she things Joshgate 1.0 was the fault of JB and Michelle, not the police, and that a lot of people have let Jill down.

Apparently she and Derick then touched on his “advocacy for children” but he’d go more into that later. She mentions he’s in law school but that he wouldn’t say why. She thinks it’s in it to protect others.

“Finally” she asked “Derick” how they plan to raise their children differently. “Derick” said, “Neither of us are bitter about how we were raised.” Now she’s recapping much of what she already said once again. She says that “Derick has been pretty vocal that they do use birth control,” which he really has not at all been. He’s made like maybe two vague comments possibly suggesting that? More recapping of what she already said, with a bit more of her opinions of what she thinks they want even though supposedly Derick answered her questions. She (or “Derick”, she’s starting to blur lines here) says it’s important not trust social media as the only thing you know about someone as it isn’t always 100% accurate.

Now she’s plugging their blog and social media. She’s thanking Derick for his candor and trust and she looks forward to hearing from him again in the future.

Good God this woman is annoying. That was hard to get through.

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wordywarriorwrites · 5 years ago

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Chapter 15: Imperfect Union

Masterlist: The Boss of Brooklyn A03 Story Link Author: @wordywarriorwrites Summary: When it comes to being The Boss, James Buchanan “JB” Barnes rules with an iron fist. For him, there’s no room for sentiment, and certainly no time for distraction, even if it is in the form of an old flame. Steve Rogers had bowed out of the life a long time ago, but a twist of fate brings him right back into the fold, and face-to-face with a man he once loved. When a game of cat and mouse turns into a matter of life and death, both will be forced to decide whether they’ll be loyal to the business, or faithful to each other. A/N: Bucky Barnes Mob Boss AU. Stucky. For: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan Star’s Multi-Fandom Follower Celebration with the prompt, “Why did you do it?” & @sherrybaby14 Sherry’s Fall Into You Challenge with the prompt, “Show me. Prove that you can handle me.” Warnings: Language, violence, drug use, alcohol, smoking, explicit sexual content, illegal activities. *Re-blogs are welcome. Plagiarism isn’t. *

Miles of pink sand beaches, palm trees, and the stunning blue-green waters of the Atlantic. Opulent accommodations, accompanied by lavish surroundings, and meticulous Five Diamond service.

There was a lot they needed to accomplish, but they’d all put the business on the back burner because the meet on the South Shore was about more than just settling accounts and signing bottom lines; it was also about mending fences, giving Nick Fury a proper sendoff, and ensuring the torch was passed into safe, capable hands.

Dinner had been set up in one of the resort’s waterfront event rooms, and it would’ve been a stilted affair had everyone not partaken in the generous platters of fresh seafood and imbibed nearly a dozen bottles of Mitcher’s Bourbon Whiskey and Screaming Eagle Sauvignon Blanc.

Wanda, Natasha, and Carol got tipsy, giggled, and gabbed like long-lost pals. Fury, Scott, and Rhodey definitely got drunk, and they somehow persuaded Thor, Clint, and Tony, who were all plastered, to join them for a game of high-stakes poker. To an outsider, it looked like they were a group of friends just blowing off some steam, but in actuality, they were all trying to distract themselves and find their bearings.

Bucky maintained his composure throughout the evening and Steve was just as civil. Though nobody dared to point out the elephant in the room, they were all very well aware that the two of them were not exactly copacetic, and needed to be given a wide berth. Steve chose to occupy himself by making the rounds and chit-chatting. Bucky, on the other hand, opted to hide out on the balcony, and he’d just decided to call it a night when Natasha stepped outside and joined him.

She handed him a fresh drink and gently nudged his shoulder, “You okay?”

Bucky took a sip and shrugged, “Why do you ask?”

“Because you seem worried. And you’ve been eye-balling Steve for the past two hours.”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” he countered. “And I’m watching everyone.”

“How about you cut the bullshit and tell me what’s really bothering you?”

He shook his head, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she shot back.

Bucky turned away from the room and stared out at the view, but the sounds and sights of the waves brought him no comfort this time. If anything, his mind churned even harder than the waters of the ocean, and he wasn’t sure how to explain what he was thinking, let alone how he was feeling.

Steve had only returned to Brooklyn to do a job. He’d been set up, betrayed, and nearly killed, but still, he stayed, and he’d remained loyal. He’d brought in the traitors; handed over Fury’s business and crew; gave the Families more than enough intel to set them up for several decades to come. He’d struggled and fought tooth-and-nail for months to put things right and make a clean break.

Bucky could’ve pulled rank, put his foot down, and given Steve’s seat to Natasha, but he didn’t. He knew being put in charge of the West Indies wasn’t what Steve wanted, but instead of giving him his well-earned freedom, Bucky had taken it away, and he didn’t do it because it was just good business, or because he wanted to make the transition more palatable.

He did it because he wanted Steve to stay, and it was easier and less messy to force his hand than to ask him to stick around. He wanted him to stay because whether Steve liked it or not, this was where he was meant to be, and this was what he’d been groomed to do since before he could walk.

Bucky wanted Steve to stay, because even with all the enmity between them, even after everything they’d done to each other, there was still nobody else in the world he trusted more than him.

He wanted him to stay because he’d already let Steve go once, and he’d regretted it. He wanted him to stay because despite what Steve had told him, it had meant something, and Bucky hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since the moment he’d fled Jamaica.

He wanted him to stay because what Maria said before Natasha put her down got under his fucking skin. He wanted him to stay, because no other man had ever fit so well in his life, or would ever look so right in his bed, and Bucky just couldn’t let it go…

But he couldn’t admit to any of it. Bucky couldn’t say any of it aloud, because that would make it too real, and he couldn’t allow himself to be honest or vulnerable or display anything that resembled human frailty. They’d reasserted control, but their grasp over both Brooklyn and their new real estate was still tenuous, and he needed to keep his authority, dignity, and backbone intact.

“Do you love him?”

He snorted, “Love is one vice I can’t afford to indulge in.”

Natasha frowned, “That’s not an answer.”

“Well, that’s the answer you’ve been given,” Bucky retorted before he polished off his drink. “And on that note, I’m going to bed.”

On his way out, Bucky politely bid everyone goodnight, and then made his way to the elevator. It arrived promptly, and after he stepped inside, he selected the top floor. The doors had nearly closed, but someone shot out a hand and halted them. When Scott’s face appeared, Bucky stepped aside to make room for him, along with Steve and Rhodey, who followed quickly behind.

“I told you that you shouldn’t have dealt him in,” Rhodey groused.

“A Royal fuckin’ Flush on the first hand,” Scott groaned in defeat. “How’s that even possible?”

Steve grinned and clapped them both on the back, “You can pay up in the morning.”

The three of them busted each other’s balls for several floors, and because Bucky’s suite was at the top of the high-rise, he got to be a spectator to all their antics. There were also several stops along the way, and one of the passengers kept readjusting his luggage until it fell right on top of his foot. The owner of the baggage didn’t even apologize, and Bucky was about to go off when he realized the person who had scuffed the toe of his Salvatore Ferragamo was too busy gawking at Steve to even realize what had happened.

Slapdash vacation ensemble of flip-flops, board-shorts, and a white t-shirt. A toned body, sharp jaw, and sandy-brown hair. He blushed and looked positively besotted, but all that doe-eyed innocence was counterbalanced with a flash of a sly smirk and the reveal of a tongue ring when he talked.

The elevator signaled it had arrived at the fifteenth floor, which was where Scott and Rhodey disembarked. If they said anything to him before they departed, Bucky didn’t hear it, as soon as it was just him, Steve, and the dude with the bad manners, the haphazard flirtation began.

It was way too much and far too obvious, which meant he wasn’t a pro, and the way he tried to subtly slip Steve his phone number suggested he was just a horny guy looking to get laid. Steve didn’t engage, but he didn’t exactly shut him down hard, either. Though his tone suggested he was very flattered, he was tactful, and even somewhat contrite when he said he wasn’t interested. To his credit, the guy took the rejection like a champ, and didn’t press the issue further.

Bucky knew he had no right whatsoever to be invidious of “my-name-is-Chad-and-my-room-is-1801-if-you-change-your-mind.” But he couldn’t deny that he really wanted to kick the guy’s teeth in, and he couldn’t pretend he wasn’t relieved that Steve didn’t change his mind decide to go with him.

He couldn’t recollect how many men had propositioned him in the past few months. He couldn’t remember their voices, their faces, or what they said to him. Bucky also couldn’t recall how many times he’d woken up alone, sober and extremely frustrated, because as much as he wanted to fuck Steve out of his system, he hadn’t been able to get it up for anyone else in months.

The automated voice chimed, “Floor Twenty,” and the doors parted. Steve got out and turned right. Bucky was supposed to go left, but he didn’t. Instead, he pursued Steve all the way to the end of the hall and right up to his door. The lock beeped and Steve reached for the handle, but Bucky got to it first. Even though he hadn’t been invited, and knew his presence was entirely unwelcome, he entered Steve’s room, and turned on the light.

As soon as Steve stepped over the threshold and the door clicked shut, Bucky turned around, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and slanted his mouth down hard over his.

None-too-gentle, deep, and possessive – it was a kiss that contradicted his words, shot his best intentions to hell, and betrayed his so-called indifference. It was a lip-lock that produced an instantaneous erection, which proved he wasn’t impotent, but also verified there was only one man he could and always would get hard for.

Bucky growled, pinned Steve up against the door, and bit down hard on his neck. Steve chuckled and Bucky knew – he knew that Steve knew was jealous – and he didn’t care. He just reached for his belt and yanked it open. As soon as the zipper was lowered and his boxers were pushed past his hips, Steve brought his hand to his mouth, and dragged his tongue over his palm and fingers. The hot, spit-slicked grasp around his dick made Bucky’s eyes roll back, and as the pressure increased, so did Steve’s grip.

It was all hot and frantic, but any thoughts of trying to reciprocate flew out of his head the moment Steve started to use both hands. He cupped and fondled with his left and maintained a steady pace with the right. He swiped the pad of his thumb repeatedly over the tip until Bucky was nice and slippery, and the sound of Steve working him over was just as filthy as it was erotic.

“Is this the real reason I’m here?” he asked with a pointed squeeze. “Is this what you want me for?”

When Bucky didn’t answer right away, Steve jerked him harder, and picked up the pace.

“I gave you everything you wanted, but that wasn’t enough, was it? You want me under your thumb. You want me to follow your orders. You want me to call you Boss, don’t you?”

He moaned against his throat, “I want… Fuck, Steve, I want…”

“What? What do you want?” he demanded lecherously. “You want to fuck me into obedience? Screw me into submission? Is that what you want, JB? Do you just want a hole to stick your prick into, or do you actually want me?”

“Don’t stop,” Bucky begged as he thrust his hips. “Fuck, whatever you do, don’t stop.”

“Say you want me. Say it and mean it,” Steve breathed into his ear. “Just say it, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can handle it – that I can handle you – and whatever else that gets thrown at us. Say it, and I just might let you come someplace else other than in your pants.”

Bucky should’ve been a man and owned up to what he felt, but he didn’t. At the same time Steve ripped the orgasm from his body, the word “No!” was also roughly torn out of his throat, and there was absolutely no way to take it back.

He knew he deserved it when Steve released him harshly and shoved him away. Bucky also knew Steve was more than justified in his actions when he spat in his face and wiped his cum-stained hands off on the sleeves of his suit jacket.

“I’m not some fuck-toy for you to play around with,” he snarled as he threw the door open wide.

Bucky pulled up his pants and met Steve’s rage-filled eyes, “I can’t. We can’t and I’m--”

“Just shut the fuck up,” Steve interjected coldly. “And get the fuck out.”

Chapter 16: Exsanguinate

Everything: @jennmurawski13 @nerdy-bookworm-1998

Steve Rogers: @patzammit @hearttoearth The Boss of Brooklyn: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @captain-rogers-beard

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poguesofthebau · 4 years ago

Note

Hey hun, if you're still feeling up to it could I please get a ship? This is jjmxybank btw from my main blog. I'm 24 a virgo, 4'11, long brown hair, hazel eyes, teeny tiny but with a big personality, way too honest, can't keep my mouth shut, unapologetically loyal, sarcastic, always have an answer to everything. Athletic and love sports but hate running lol. I love reading, bon fires and long drives. I'm impulsive and almost never think things through. Thanks lovely 💜

i ship you with jj!! (honorary mention: with all the fights you got into, the other pogues would see you as a little (literally, tiny) sister for them to look out for. sometimes they were able to prevent you from fighting people, and other times they simply had to make sure you didn’t get yourself into a topper vs john b situation when it was too late to completely stop a fight)

alright but how about the time period when jj was actually trying to ‘open that door’ with kie, as he said he tried to do. one night at john b’s, he would definitely get wayyy too crossed, and would end up desperately trying to get you to come back to the guest room with him. after bickering with him on and off for an hour, you’d finally stand up and stare at him, holding out a hand expectantly. “are we going to bed, or not?” he’d gawk up at you for a few seconds, looking to john b in disbelief before slipping his hand into yours with a satisfied smile and following you into the spare room. you’d hear the murmurs of your friends behind you, john b questioning if letting the two of you go into a room alone was a good idea. “she’s not even drunk,” kie would insist. “she wasn’t even drinking, john b.” pope would (quietly) speak up in agreement. “yeah, jb. maybe they’re finally gonna bang and get it over with.” “wait, what do you mean, them bang? i thought jj liked me?” kie would question, confusion clear in her voice. your brows furrowed at the turn in conversation, eager to hear more, but before either of the boys answered her, you and jj had reached the guest room door.

“so, how’s your night been?” jj would slur as he flopped onto the bed. you’d laugh, kicking off your shoes and moving around to the other side of the bed. “you’ve been with me all day, j. you know how my day was.” he’d make a face that implied a touche, patting the spot next to him anyway as the expression morphed into something else. he seemed almost emotional, all of a sudden. “seriously, though,” he’d continue. “i know i was with you, and it’s kinda like, just dumb shit, you know? but, i don’t know. i guess i just wanna see if there’s anything you wanna talk about. not necessarily just with me, but, if you wanted, you could talk to me.” as he spoke, you were reaching around your back to unhook your bra, sliding it out of your shirt as he stared at you and tried not to lose his train of thought. his speech faltered a bit, but he managed to get his words out without appearing too distracted. by the time he finished talking, you were facing him, looking him in the eye curiously. “jj, what does that mean? we talk about everything already. you’re so drunk that you forgot that we’re best friends?” he’d sigh then, annoyance apparent. “no. that’s not what i mean. and i’m not even that drunk. i mean, if you need somebody i’m here. i’m always here for you. you’re like, pretty much the only person who i’d really risk it all for, i think.” the more words he uttered, the less he seemed to be thinking. “don’t you mean kie is the one you’d risk it all for? seeing as you’re, you kow, totally obsessed with her.”

it would go silent after that. in that moment, you could’ve sworn that no one on the planet was saying anything. there wasn’t a sound. not from you, or jj, or the living room where your friends had been chatting moments ago, or anyone anywhere. “jj?” you’d squeak out hesitantly after a while of you staring at him, and him staring at the wall. “did you not think i knew you liked kie?” he’d look at you then, wearing a totally unreadable look. even you, the person who’d known jj the longest, had no idea what this look meant. “i thought you knew better.” “what the fuck does that mean?” “that you’re an idiot.” “i am not. don’t be a douchebag. stop beating around the bush and just say whatever it is you’re so set on discussing, okay?” jj took a deep breath, frustratedly looking you straight in the eye. “i thought you knew better than to believe it was really kie that i liked all this time, and not you, dumbass. why do you think i was asking for you to come in here with me? who did i sit next to on the boat all day? in the van? at the wreck? i hover over you like nothing fucking else, dude, because i like you, and you never see it. i make two jokes about thinking kie’s hot, and you’re convinced i wanna marry her. i’m pretty sure that makes you an idiot.” for the first time in all your years knowing jj, he’d left you speechless. it was rare that you ran out of things to say, but this time jj had truly put your mind on mute. it was like a dam was just broken open, and now this huge waterfall of feelings was flying out of you, rushing over everything else, drowning all the logic, and the only way for you to keep breathing through the bursting flood was to kiss jj. so you kissed him.

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krreader · 6 years ago

Text

chance encounter or fate?

pairing: im jaebum x reader ; min yoongi x reader (fwb) fandom: bts ; got7 warnings: language ; mentions of sex ; fwb relationship genre: angst ; fluff

summary: got7 was looking for a new producer. and if yoongi didn’t want to see your talent, jaebum would. and he found much more than a producer in you..

a/n: I understand babe. that man is.. PHEW. anyways, I hope you like it ♥

ask box | masterlist | fandoms | faq | multifandom reader blog

Yoongi pulled out of you with a moan, immediately pulling off the condom and throwing it into the trash, while you slowly stood up straight again, a little scared your legs might give in after that sex session.

“You were good,” he kissed your shoulder blade and helped you pull up your panties and jeans, “Thanks for stopping by.”

“Thank you for calling,” you laughed as you made your way over to the couch to relax for a second, “I needed that today.”

“Stressed?” he sat down on his chair opposite of you, so that you could talk for a bit. You might not be in a relationship, but you were still close.. in a sense.

“A little, yeah. My boss is being a bitch again, as always..”

“You should really quit if you're so unhappy, you know? Do something you love,” he turned around to his computer, “Like me,” then he smiled happily.

But that was exactly the problem, wasn't it?

You've been fucking Yoongi casually for over a year now and continued to drop hints that you really liked producing music as well. And you weren't too bad at it, you knew that. It was just so hard to get into this industry, so you definitely needed to know the right people. And for god's sake, you were having sex with one of the best producers around right now.. if anyone could get you in, it was him.

But he either didn't want you to do the same thing he was doing, or really didn't understand your hints.

And you didn't want to be blunt either, because you didn't want to make it seem like you were using him and having sex with him, so that you could get benefits from it.

No, you were having sex with him because you really enjoyed it and he relieved a lot of tension. And quite frankly, Yoongi was the best guy you’ve ever slept with..

“Yeah, I guess I should,” you sighed heavily and got up, “I'll get going. Call me this weekend?”

“As always,” there was no goodbye kiss or whatsoever.

This relationship was purely sexual. You both knew that and you have never crossed that line.

People always said women couldn't have these kind of relationships without catching feelings, but honestly? This has been going on for more than a year and the only feelings you had for Yoongi were attraction in the sexual sense. You wanted him to fuck you, not to love you.

You weren't attracted to him in that way.

That's what made this so easy for you both.

The perfect agreement.

And yes, you'd obviously love to find someone who'd love you one day, but until then, you would enjoy your time with Yoongi to the fullest.

On your way out, you couldn't help but stop by at one of the empty studios.

You always checked the schedule on the door and made sure it would be empty for a while and so far, nobody had noticed that you had ever even been in there.

And since you didn't have equipment at home, this was all you had. All you could ever really use..

At the same time, Jaebum entered BigHit, clearly a little upset.

“I don't understand why we have to work with someone from BigHit. We have our own people for this..”

“True.. but we want your next song to be different. And when it comes to different, BigHit is the spot to look for good producers.”

He hated this, hated having to look for producers like those of JYP were shit. Or maybe he just hated having to come here to look for them.

Sure BTS was doing great and Jaebum was happy for them, but GOT7 was doing great too, right? They didn't really need BigHit..

“Wait here,” his manager said as he walked into an office.

So Jaebum did. He pulled out his phone and texted his band members, telling them just how much he hated this until he heard sounds coming out of a studio to his left that were the kind of different his manager had talked about before. They sounded new and fresh.. they sounded fantastic, to be honest.

Curiosity got the better of him and he pushed the door open just a tiny bit and was surprised to find only one person in the room.. and a pretty person at that.

He watched you play around with the buttons like you were destined to do so, watched you smile when something sounded good and watched you bop your head with the rhythm. And then he watched you stare right back into his eyes. That’s when his jaw dropped a little.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry,” why were you apologizing to him? He had been the one to intrude, hadn't he?

“It's fine,” he quickly said and shook his head, but you continued bowing as if you had just committed a crime.

“Please don't tell anyone I was in here.. I'm begging you.”

“I.. I won't,” he laughed, “I'm not from here.. I'm from JYP.”

You took a deep breath, releasing it a moment later, clearly being relieved. But why?

“Thank god.. you're not going to rat me out, then?”

“Why would I do that? And anyways, you're incredibly talented.. you should be in that studio and getting paid for it.”

“Wh..- What?” your eyes widened.

“Did nobody ever tell you that? You're amazing..”

No. Nobody ever told you that, mostly because nobody knew about your talent in music production. Nobody had ever cared enough to ask and if they had, they just shrugged it off, because how could you, not involved with any music company, have talent in that area?

“Thank you so much.. that.. you don't know how much that means to me,” you beamed from ear to ear, brushing your hair behind your ear.

“I'm Jaebum, by the way,” he extended his hand.

“Oh! Hold on.. I know you! GOT7, right?” shit. He did look familiar.

“You're ahead of me, I'm afraid,” he laughed, but you thankfully shook his hand a moment later. That would have been majorly awkward otherwise.

“I'm (Y/N). I'm uhm.. a friend of Min Yoongi.”

“Yoongi, huh? Didn't know he had a lot of friends.”

He didn’t. But you didn't want to say that.

And speaking of which, a moment later, Yoongi came out with another guy. A guy that turned out to be Jaebum’s producer.

“(Y/N)? What are you still doing here?” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows.

“I was just..-” oh god.. if he found out you were playing with the equipment, BigHit’s equipment, he'd definitely end this thing between you two. So you had to come up with a lie.. quickly. However..-

“I want her to be our producer,” Jaebum smiled at his manager, “She's not from BigHit, so we wouldn't have that connection to them. No offense, Yoongi.”

“None taken, but.. (Y/N) is no producer, though?”

“Yet,” Jaebum shrugged, turning his head to look at you “All she needs is a chance. And I'm willing to give it to her.”

That's more than anyone else ever had..

A knock on the door made you look up from your laptop, a happy smile on your face when you saw the man you owed all this to walk in.

“I thought you might want something to eat..”

“You're amazing.. thank you so much,” you gladly took the cup of Ramen and crossed your legs, immediately beginning to eat.

“How's it going?” Jaebum sat down next to you, looking at the screen of your laptop.

“Really good,” you quickly gulped down the food in your mouth, “I think you guys are going to like it.. It's new, it's different and it's hopefully going to bring you a few awards.”

“Know that if so, that's all your doing,” he smiled and leaned his elbow on the desk, simply watching you eat.

After you had shown JYP your talent, they had been quick to hire you, agreeing with JB that you were one of a kind and that they had to get you to work for them, before someone else would see your talent and snatch you away from them. That was almost two months ago, now.

Two months that Jaebum saw you almost every single day. Two months that he got to know you and two months that he had fallen for you.

Which was so easy, to be honest.

You were yourself around him, had never tried to be someone else and he loved that. He fell for your personality, the real you. He fell for your talent and your beauty.

But he knew that there was something going on between you and Yoongi, so he never told you about his feelings. But it just got harder and harder, day by day. All he wanted to do was at least try to ask you out and see if you said yes.

But that fear of rejection..

..we all know that.

“Do you have anything planned for this weekend?” you asked as you wiped your mouth.

“Don't think so.. why?”

“Someone from my family is having this party that I need to go to and I don't really want to go alone, so.. I was hoping you'd come with me.”

“To meet your family?” he raised his eyebrows, “Shouldn't you ask.. I don't know.. Yoongi to a party like that?”

“Yoongi?” you snorted, “No. I don't think my family wants to meet Yoongi. Besides, I only ever told them about you.. they wouldn't even know who Yoongi is,” and you doubted they would like that introduction: ‘Hi, fam, this is Yoongi, the guy that has been banging me for the past year’.

Yeah, no. That didn’t sound too good.

“You.. told your family about me?” his eyes widened, clearly surprised to hear that.

“Yeah.. the wanted to know who they had to thank for helping me get this job.. and now they kind of do want to thank you,” you scratched the back of your head, “I know it's weird and you probably don't want to, but..-”

“I do! I do want to!” he quickly said, but then cleared his throat right away and repeated it a bit calmer and an octave lower, “I mean. I'd love to meet your family.”

“Great.. I'll tell them later tonight.”

But what neither Jaebum nor you knew and only found out on the day you both arrived at the party, was that your entire family thought you were a couple. You didn't know if you had accidentally made it sound like you were, or if it was just the way you two were so comfortable around each other when you talked, but everyone told you how handsome he was and how lucky you were to have him by your side.

“Your family thinks we're dating,” he muttered under his breath when he showed up next to you at the buffet.

“I know.. did you.. tell them otherwise?” you looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“You?” he asked, almost a bit hesitantly.

“I asked you first.”

He let out a sigh and shook his head, “Didn't.”

“Me neither.”

This is it, Jaebum thought. Ask her out now, now is the perfect time.

“(Y/N).. when we get back.. do you think.. well.. you and me could.. I don't know.. get some.. you know coffee or something? Like.. as in.. uhm.. a date?”

He was so bad at this. You'd think he was better at it and just go all in, but nope. He was so awkward.. and yet so sweet and gentle that it made your heart flutter.

“You want to take me out?” you were genuinely surprised. Had you developed feelings for him? Absolutely. How could you not have after everything he had done for you. Did you think he would ever reciprocate these feelings? Not in the slightest, mainly because you thought he only ever was interested in what you brought to the company..

Seems as if you had been wrong all along.

“I mean.. only if you and Yoongi..-”

“Jaebum,” you grabbed his hand to stop him from talking any further, “I ended things with Yoongi a month ago.. when I realized I wanted to date someone else,” not that you ever thought you had a chance with Jaebum, but you suddenly felt really bad that when you were sleeping with Yoongi, you kept thinking about JB. That wasn’t fair to you, and definitely not to Yoongi.

..who had taken it surprisingly well and you still called each other up every now and then to just talk and see how the other one was doing. So that was nice.

“You ended things with him? Really?”

“Yeah.. even though.. I never thought you’d be interested in more than my talent.”

“I am interested in so much more,” he grinned and interlinked your fingers with his as you were still holding his hand, “So is that a yes, then? A date?”

You tried to keep yourself from smiling, but it was so hard not to, when he looked at you with so much happiness, “Yes.”

You always wanted to fall in love.. maybe you now finally could.. maybe he was the one.

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wackygoofball · 6 years ago

Text

To the non-anons out there, this message is also for you!

I feel really saddened that I am now dedicating the third post in a row already to this kind of stuff because I honestly thought we were on the same track as to what kind of a blog I am running, but oh well, it appears worth repeating.

As you can take from my previous post and the one before, I have gotten some unwanted negative attention I was not seeking. I have already typed up my reply to the anons, but now I also turn to fellows who are not grey circles with sunglasses. I am turning to my followers and those I follow, my mutuals.

You are entitled to your emotions, and I bet there are many of them right now, mostly bad, I am pretty sure. I can only repeat that. I find your emotions and thoughts valid, but I believe it’s not asked too much to demand the same from you when it comes to me. Anyone who’s been following my blog will know my general stand on the show and the books. Anyone who’s been following my rambling and hyping will know that I am a positive blog and that I want to keep things that way.

And that is why I am hereby asking you again to respect that choice I made and continue to make.

I do not want to engage in such conversation some of you may be eager to have. You will find plenty of others who want to have them in my stead. You don’t need to have ranting get-togethers with me. I would not be fun during those rounds, I am telling you! Because I would still insist on my viewpoints, and they are apparently different from a lot of those of other fellow JB shippers, Jaime and/or Brienne fans alike. But that’s okay.

Opinions are supposed to be different. No one has to share my views, but neither do I have to share yours. And in that same vain, we do not have to share in the same mode of communicating those views.

My mode is to write my thinkpieces, however much truth they may hold, to gif, to hype, to have fun, to talk about what confused me, what surprised me, what I would have liked differently, what I enjoyed, what I want to spec about for the rest of the series, and so on. I always try to do that in a calm and positive manner. If that is not your mode, then that is more than fine, but please respect that I won’t alter my mode to accomodate yours.

There is a lot to stomach about last episode. I have thoughts, a lot of them, which I still have to put into writing. It’s been a long night. I slept for like 3 to 4 hours and it already tires me to write up the third heads-up post for people who apparently haven’t gotten the core message of my very blog. This saddens me, in fact, much more than anything I could get negative emotions about that I saw in the last episode.

Now. To my followers or those I follow, to my mutuals, to those who see that message, simple as that:

I won’t change into a blogger who will engage in the kind of discussions that are raging, ranting, bashing of the show, that cry “bad writing” before I have seen everything in the context of the last episode. This blog is not a sounding board for negativity. It is not a sounding board for angst. For rage. You have plenty of opportunity to seek out those who want to engage in just that kind of conversation, in just that kind of mode. And I wish you all the best in those discussions, but please, leave me out of them.

And leave my posts out of them in particular!

I don’t want to see my positive posts, some of which actually give people hope and good feelings in a time that is filled with sadness and fear about what’s to come next, being changed into something else just because you think you have to enforce your opinion over mine. My blog is for those people, to let them know that I share in that hope, that this blog is where they can come and enjoy positivity if they wish for it. My posts are not for you if what you are looking for is rage, fear, and sadness. But I don’t think that you will be lacking on Tumblr to find compensation. I will continue to post my thoughts, and I will do so in the manner I always have.

I am happy to get positive feedback on my initial post already. It tells me that, for those people, I am doing something right. It tells me that I am doing someting right for myself as this is the kind of engagement with fandom I am willing to make.

I look forward to have debate about the episode, but I will not engage in GoT Hate Talk. If you haven’t gotten that memo until now, my blog is really not the right place for you.

So. To reiterate:

I ask you not to hijack positive posts and spew in your negativity. No one asks you to engage with my posts. Quite on the contrary:

I welcome you to ingore me, unfollow me, block me or whatever else you feel you need to do in order to have the fandom experience you choose to have for yourself.

In fact, that is the advice I give to eveyone: be the master of your fandom experience. Take charge, take care.

I also welcome you to ignore me the same way I will be ignoring people whose viewpoints I don’t want to engage in. The wonder of Tumblr is that no one forces you to interact. You can just keep scrolling or updating your blacklist to include “got positivity” or “wacky rambles”. I won’t begrudge you for that at all. I applaud you if you do because it shows that you take care of yourself and others by navigating through the messy space of fandom with reason.

What I will begrudge you for is bringing negativity to a place that I want to keep positive.

Because that runs contrary to my belief in what is good tone, netiquette, and the pillars I see firmly established for the JB fandom. I don’t want to get replies or reblogs that try to tell people where they can find negativity instead, because I am sure they will know where to find it. They just have to update their dash. I don’t want to get replies and reblogs that change the meaning of what I wrote originally. You can make your own posts to tell people your opinions, to let them know what kind of a blog they will find with yours. But don’t make my posts about my blog about your blog.

There is a difference between disagreeing on something and having honest debate about it vs. being treated like someone’s positivity is not valid the same way other people’s negativity is.��

I am happy to have discussion - and by that I mean discussion, not ranting - about what went good and bad in this episode, based on the limited information we have, but always mindful of the latter being the big parameter that should weigh in on our analyses. That is the kind of discourse I am willing to have, that is the kind of discourse I will be having.

If I can’t have that with you, see above for options.

I hope that this post made clear what I think and what blog I want to run and how I want to see myself be treated in the future. I am looking forward to discussions that match my mode. I am happy to be part of this fandom. I made amazing friends there and I wouldn’t want to miss a thing.I am happy to share thoughts and theories, even at the risk fo being totally wrong all over. I am happy to have debate and write mad analyses. I am happy to ramble. And if any of my rambling and hyping helps people deal with their fears, insecurities, sadness, and anger, I feel all the better about what I am doing on my littel blog here. I find that the fun of the fandom experience, and no one will manage to take that away from me.

However, for those who have different expectations and wishes of what fandom life should be like for them, that is just as valid, just as okay. But I won’t engage in it, that’s all.

For all that I believe went wrong in a source material, I will always have my mutuals.

And I will always have fanfiction.

So really, what’s there to be negative about for Wacky?

Nothing much.

Wacky’s tiddies are calm.

Thanks for the attention and hopefully for the understanding.

#jaime x brienne #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #got spoilers #fandom

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seattlemysterybooks · 6 years ago

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New tumblr Guidelines

The new “community guidelines” announced by tumblr are, to me, insidious and dangerous. We’re being told that anything with “adult content” will not be allowed. It is limiting free expression in so very many ways and leaves us at the mercy of the repressive tastes of others. In effect, tumblr is setting itself up to be an “adult filter”. In 1964, Supreme Court Justice Potter Stevens wrote “I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description ["hard-core pornography"], and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.“

My fear now is that the mystery and crime and noir images that I have spent years assembling may fall prey to tumblr’s new rules and old images may have to be removed, new images will be rejected, or this entire site may be turned off by them against my choice.

It is very true that a majority of the images I have posted over the years involve violence and cruelty by one person against another: thugs roughing up women, gunman blasting tommyguns at g-men, femme fatales shooting marks, dames stealing and tux-clad dandies smiling while they turn the screws. These are the dark streets of American culture as Chandler eloquently wrote, accompanied by “the raucous laughter of the strongman.”

I do not support the violence included in these images but they are images that we can no more suppress or ignore than we can ban Mark Twain for the language of his time that he used in his books. This is the way it was, ladies and gentleman, deal with it. It is our cultural history, our cultural landscape. You cannot have “Chinatown” or “LA Confidential” without the pulp images of the early 20th C. Do we no longer show “Psycho” because a naked woman is slaughtered in a shower?

And while we’re at it, some of those who painted the covers for the early pulps were Great American Artists: Dalton Stevens, H.J. Ward, Norman Saunders, Gloria Stoll, Robert Maguire, Robert McGinnis, Walter Popp, Robert Stanley, Modest Stein, Jes Schlaikjer - the list is large. No one should be able to tell you you can’t see any of them due to a painting of a fist, a knife, an unclad bust, or a face twisted in fear. That’s just un-American. It is also ludicrous.

I reject that anyone can tell me what I can see. I reject that anyone has the right to monitor and decide for themselves what can be seen. Tumblr may say they are doing this to create a safe place for all but censorship to achieve safety is a slippery slope. Are you prepared to “exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead roll in a cage”?

I will continue to post what I want, what I think is good and worthy of being shared. I do not post what I find to be cruel or salacious. I post what I find interesting visually. There are thousands of images of true crime magazines from the 60s on what are stupidly ugly and there’s nothing at all, for me, redeeming in how they’re presented or designed or composed.They’re just mean and I won’t use them. Others may think what I have posted are mean and that’s fine. Turn away, don’t look. But I filter myself, you don’t get to do it.

I began this blog as a creative outlet for myself and for something else for the customers and fans of the bookshop. Since then, as of this moment, I’ve posted 15,561 images, I have 61 in queue to post and have 142 in draft form. I had never thought about how long I’d continue but rebel at the idea that others may decide what I can and cannot post. That’s unacceptable.

So it may come some day that there are no more posts on the Seattle Mystery Bookshop Hardboiled site. My bookshop is gone, living only in our memories and in places like this. Building this collection has been a labor of love. I hope to continue. If it ends, it will not be by choice.

If you enjoy this site, if you like sites like this, take the time to let those who have instituted it know.

~ JB Dickey

#social commentary #pulp art #censorship

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janiedean · 5 years ago

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serious talk but i’m honestly stumped as to why jcs are the ones sending hate. i’m not saying anyone should send or receive hate but in every other fandom i’ve been in the ‘problematic’ shippers are generally chill and stay in their lanes, while being the ones getting sent hate. i’m not saying jcs never get hate but i’ve never seen taboo shippers be the ones doing the harassing before.

*shrug*

I had an anon addressing that at length in june so if you want that entire discussion it’s here https://janiedean.tumblr.com/post/185642667908/hello-im-sorry-for-disturbing-you-but-im-quite

that said I’ve been considering it for years bc honest I never was in the situation where I argued with **problematic shippers and like you can ask anyone in the theon corner who’s also in th/ramsay fandom that I’ve defended them countless times regardless of the OMG YOU’RE SICK people coming from (sadly) my side because they got trashed to hell and back, and like… I have it on record that even if I’m not into badwrong stuff I will defend people who ship it bc everyone should ship what they want. and everywhere even within this fandom **problematic shippers usually stay in their lane - I mean ffs I don’t think I’ve ever ran into anyone shipping idk th/ramsay or sansa/lf or whichever other badwrong ship being like that. and jcs get way less hate than any of them and half of that is jb people telling them to can it after they crosstag hate on purpose and then pearl clutch that ohmygod we’re so hateful, but if you want my two cents, under the cut bc it’s long and is2g if someone shows up telling me this is me accusing jc shippers as a whole of whatever I’m blocking on sight:

that part of jc fandom has done that since I remember being in this fandom, and with that part I mean that there’s a bunch of jc people who either multiship or are like sane people who aren’t partaking in fandom or left bc they didn’t want to be associated with that attitude

that part of jc fandom has spun a narrative since 2011 that if you didn’t like c. or thought j. was a better person than she was (or tyrion too) you were a closeted misogynist and like… a lot of those people were bnfs back in the day so basically criticizing c. and/or saying that jaime isn’t a bad person now automatically means that you’re problematic/a misogynist/hate women and no one countered it bc apparently saying that grrm is not necessarily misogynist for writing c. as a villain is a controversial opinion which means that if they coat their analysis in performative feminism they have the upper hand *shrug*

in this context c. being the abuser/bad person is downplayed/turned over on its head and no one recognizes that jc is indeed an abusive rship where j. is the abused/wronged part and you can see that because 90% of the meta published in this fandom villainizes j. in nonsensical ways just so it’s an argument that he’s as bad as c. if not worse and jc is seen as codependent toxic but not as abusive with power imbalance which means that it’s not seen as necessarily *problematic* or badwrong which means they don’t get the shit that everyone else shipping badwrong gets which… good for them bc no one should get shit for shipping what they want but basically they never were on the side of receiving anon hate all day long and they actually were on the side of sending it all day long

and like sorry but that’s factual, some people in that side of fandom were making burned ground around jb before S2 and the moment jb became popular they were on us/the ship like woah because obviously if people shipped jb they should buy the narrative where j. is redeemable/not a terrible person, and the moment people buy that narrative then theirs is automatically put in question, and so they started painting us as the problematic straight women who are homophobic bc they don’t think brienne is lgbt and want her with j. bc we want to fuck him and we’re projecting, which at the same time makes us sound like we’re making shit up and have no textual analysis to base stuff on when in fact we do, but again in this climate where saying c. is terrible = you’re a misogynist you’re automatically discredited the moment you say that and that j. isn’t as horrible as she is

also, since the people enabling that shit in jc fandom were bnfs (like there’s… one bnf in jc fandom who’s an a+ person and didn’t engage in shitting over us at least but everyone else enabling it was a bnf) it meant that the ‘let’s shit on jb shippers’ behavior was always condoned/let slide, so basically if anyone wanted to get popularity points being asses to us was the best way to go at it, and that’s why 90% of what’s remained of them rn is more interested in sending anon hate to jb shippers than producing content, and every single time it’s turning things over on their head making it sound as if we started it or anything of the kind. too bad that I’ve been here since before jb was a show thing and I can 100% remember the times people asked me privately questions aimed into guilttripping me from having jb as a sideship in t/hrobb fic and I was terrified of what would happen when I put it as a sideship in sfbd which is btw one of the reasons I dropped it for a year the first time round *shrug* (yeah it’s been long enough that I think I can say that *shrug*)

basically: I think that those specific jc shippers have…. issues in the sense that they’re caught in some very unhealthy internet presence thing in which they’ve been doing this thing since like 2013 if not earlier and now they can’t stop and the new ones who fall in that crowd follow suit and no one ever told them to can it or that it wasn’t okay or whatever, and now it’s too late to do anything except waiting for grrm to publish wow, have c. die somewhere j. is not and have the entire ‘they’ll die together’ discourse die and maybe they’ll stop. but like… again: i made the blog private for three months, I put it back to public, before I could even make the post saying it like three minutes after I went public again I got a jc anon. within the first week I had twenty. and they showed up the moment I put it back to public. just that is a level of unhealthy that should be enough to state whoever’s doing this needs help like very much because it’s like basically stalking, but hey, it’s all my fault because I said jc is an abusive rship and he’s not the abuser. *shrug* like: at this point I’m legit worried for them because this isn’t healthy and I really hope they get help because there’s no reason why they should come at me like that when I’m in my lane all the damned time except for the single occasions pointed out in the first linked post. the only explanation is that they can’t handle the fact that I’m existing and expressing an opinion they disagree with when I don’t even know them so if it’s the problem………. I really hope they get a grip. because it’s not healthy. period.

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #Anonymous #ask post #only slightly less toxic than chernobyl's ruins #anti-cersei lannister #anti-cersei #anti-lannincest #anti-jaime x cersei #jb wank #is2g this is JUST FOR THOSE SPECIFIC JC SHIPPERS #I DON'T MEAN JC SHIPPERS AS A WHOLE #I DON'T MEAN C. FANS AS A WHOLE #I ONLY MEAN THAT ONE GROUP THAT'S BOTH HERE AND ON TWITTER BEING TERRIBLE #hopefully it was clear

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