#there’s a part of me that wants to protect this aspect

[chryso-poeia]

The light, alone, will not comfort you or liberate you / the same darkness that you fear: is also in you, expressed differently, to a different degree or suppressed differently. None of us are harmless, none of us are entertainment centers for others, none of us need permission to be who we are. Some of the most powerful people on earth are absolute scum, but they got to where they are because of their belief and readiness to take what is theirs. So, you’re not perfect either, that would make life too boring and people, too stiff, if they always feared mistakes, even though i’ve also had major issues with that too. Only i’m relentless in gaining insight. Confidence like that is about internal permission.

Realness flows. the difference is how principled you are. But similar to said ’scums of the earth’, you get to take what you want for yourself and claim your right to own yourself and your space. You get to forgive and forgive yourself delusionally, until you are only ever freer. This edge can seem dangerous, or even immoral, but it holds the freedom that a lot of people look for. This is your experience. Learn to laugh at it, even when it’s cruel. You are still here, you better use that body, that mind, that heart, that fucking passion. Ignite, fucking ignite!

Even when it would have felt villanous or bad to give yourself the fucking permission to just be, without needing to have opinions on everything, or be a shining beacon of morality or righteousness. Conversely, if you dislike/hate someone or something, own it, your feelings are yours, this is the ownership. Own your shame, own yourself fully, scream it out. And If you’re sensitive, that sensitivity should be directed to yourself, for yourself. Not wasted on those that can’t hold space for you. You are the only one that can carry you and your weight, dear. You know you, like god. Let your nervous system rest, get it out of you though, it’s very important to express and connect to others.

What you attempt to control, controls you. Own the shadow, proclaim it is you. What’s looking back at you says ”I protect who i am, in order to afford being all that i am. I am soft but i am vicious.”

This idea of your part as savior, was not pre-written. But you experience this life, and you cannot deny the profoundity in front of you, so well as protecting your right to live it as you please. If they can’t swallow the delicious playful lightness of your authenticity, you don’t have to be around for when they vomit it up. They can say that you caused it, when they don’t have your agency or understanding. The understanding that says ”I can get the fuck up outta their way if we don’t vibe, without needing to let them know that, because i am confident in me.”

Whether i try to make you not judge me or not, doesn’t matter, you’ll judge me anyway and i can’t control that, especially when i’m not present:’so judge me. Show me your pain by how you fear me, because you don’t understand, love yourself first, not my job. But if i seem merciless, it’s because i needed that mercy. If i am merciful, it’s a byproduct of me having been merciful to myself FIRST.

I’m talking about integration. About holding space for the illusion of contradiction, when really, light feeds darkness and vice versa. Neither one would function without the other. If you can’t hold this contradiction; atleast to some degree: you will be controlled by others and to a greater degree, the world.

And then.. eventually, the narratives can fade and what’s left is the painfully human aspect of how connected we are, how similar we are, what a mess this is and what we can make of it, playfully, how we seek love, how we are afraid and how we can meet each other… as we cry out for help in so many veiled ways, a loving energy can emerge in that meeting. It could be loving. Either way, we’re all adorable as we try to shield ourselves from others that mean us no harm.

Fear is weaponized ignorance and contradiction. Bring presence, bring healing, bring understanding, bring mercy, bring trust. You can dance with it, dance with fear, dance with all of it. It already is an inexplicable cosmic dance, move with it.

The light in the dark.

[sourpeachsayshi]

minors - ageless - blank blogs dni - cw: daddy kink; daddy!dom; age gap

it was the build up to the moment that did it - the fact that you're with a man who is just so firm, so doting, so caring. kento won't let you lift a finger for a thing. he guards you like you're his to protect. if you could describe kento with just one word, it would be strength. because it was a trait that he carried over in every possible aspect of his life.

and you just couldn't stop fixating on that fact, and how it made your heart and pussy pulse with affection.

you didn't even hear yourself say it when it happened. you were so delirious being loved up with nanami's fingers and mouth working the space between your legs. he kept edging you, and edging you - wanted to see how well you could hold out for him. and when he permitted you to let go of the reigns, the words came out as a soft whimper once your orgasm flooded through your body.

"mmph, uh... thank you, daddy.~"

nanami perked up so fucking fast.

"what did you just call me?"

when the realization hits, you find yourself flushed with heavy embarrassment. your eyes prick with tears, your mouth going dry as you stammer excuses. you don't want him to think you are a freak or something but you're completely tongue tied as you try to explain what motivated you to call him that, stuttering "it's not-not like that..."

but your words carry as much weight as air. and it really doesn't help that your boyfriend is also older than you.

the tips of kento's ears are fucking hot. it's not like he's oblivious to this particular kink - it just wasn't his thing. hell, before you, nanami never really dated women who were younger than him. but you triggered something in him when that word came out of your mouth.

he runs his fingers through his blonde strands, and ponders it for a second before leaning in to kiss your forehead and your lips, and shushes you to quieten down. "it's okay, baby, it's okay," he soothes, "there's no need to be embarrassed. it happens, right?"

his dick is hard, and once he calms you down he is able to slip his cock between your wet folds again. your chest heaves slightly, a little sniffle leaving you as your lashes flutter close to hold back your tears.

nanami's hands are on your pelvis, dragging back and forth over the slope of the curve. "feel better?" he soothes, keeping an even rhythm as he sees your body grow softer with every thrust.

you nod your head, and find the courage to correct yourself. "thank you, kento..."

he bites his bottom lip, and holds back a smile. you're always so polite with him in the bedroom, he thinks it's fucking adorable. he thrusts a little harder, making you whimper to grab your attention. he buries himself deep inside you, halting all his movements. when you notice, you open your eyes to catch his stare, your cheeks stinging.

"come again?" he asks.

"I-I said thank you..." you answer innocently.

"I heard."

you look down at where your bodies connect, furrowing your brows in confusion and attempt to move yourself to get some relief, but kento just grips onto you tightly.

he rolls his hips teasingly, "you don't have to call me by my name. I know you what you want to say..."

there's a lump in your throat instantly. and you part in your lips in surprise as your heat races. "I...I can't..."

"oh, darling," your lover continues, a wicked tone highlighting that devilish smirk, one that's so sinful it looks foreign on that handsome face. he rocks back to drag his length out of you, then pushes in achingly slow. "I heard how it sounded. heard how turned on you were saying it..."

he picks up the pace of his movements, his words relentlessly egging you on. "you're just showing me how grateful you are, right? showing me that you you're happy with how I take care of you..." he offers in a tender voice. "making me proud that my girl is so well behaved..."

you whine, your hand fisting the bed sheet underneath you when you realize what your lover is actually doing. "oh my god..."

he tuts, "m'not asking for your prayers right now, sweetheart..."

the noise that comes out of you is broken as he returns to his original pace, fucking you exactly the way you like.

"please don't stop..."

"who are you asking?"

"you..."

"who?"

he's persuading you with his body and his words, and it makes your toes curl as you feel the title sit on the tip of your tongue.

"you, daddy~" you whine, as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

"use your words..." he scolds light heartedly.

"daddy, please don't stop~ it feels really good..."

"that's my girl," he grunts with desire, his arousal hitting a new peak. he flashes you his pearly whites, watches your body melt into a puddle of lust. "we are going to have so much fun with this, princess..."

[vardapilled]

Haint Blue and Indigo: The Colors of Annie and Smoke

This is by no means an extensive history of haint blue and indigo*, but I just wanted to dip a bit into how much is said just by looking at one layer of costuming for Sinners. In this case color—how it's able to convey just how deeply rooted Annie is to her heritage/history, and to me, how this case of colors shows so beautifully Smoke's connection to Annie and his love for her.

"There's that haint blue that Annie lives around as part of a spiritual color. So I took the haint blue and used it in her clothes. I wanted her to have these layers. You first meet her [...] She's a community person. She's a healer, a spiritual leader." - Ruth E. Carter, Costume Design for Sinners (emphasis mine)

Haint blue is a color seen painted on porches, doorways and windows in the American South. As the name suggests, it was believed (though the oral histories are difficult to come by beyond the 30s), to ward off evil spirits. Using haint blue, according to the Gullah-Geechee, tricked evil spirts into thinking they had come across water or sky, bodies they were unable to cross, therefore deterring them from crossing over the blue.

Annie's costume was infused with this color; the blue on her cotton blouse and her skirt belted with feathers and beads. When we're introduced to Annie, her home has a collection of blues: from the wooden panelling, scraps of fabric hanging in the background, and blue bottles strewn about. This infusion of haint blue in her home is also a deliberate choice as talked about by production designer Hannah Beachler.

*Corrections, whether through comments or reblogs, for this post are definitely welcome! I cite my sources at the end of this long post.

This type of blue is not a specific color but rather, it becomes Haint Blue when it is used for the purpose of warding off haints, a belief rooted in Gullah-Geechee beliefs. (Though for technicalites' sake, it is a range of blues -> blue greens). After the 1800s, this way of using blue trickled down from the Gullah-Geechees in South Carolina to places such Louisina where Annie is suggested to be from.

The Old Plantation (Slaves Dancing on a South Carolina Plantation), ca. 1785-1795. watercolor on paper, attributed to John Rose, Beaufort County, South Carolina

Blue has always had a fraught history with enslaved Native Americans and Africans. The production of indigo was a profitable commodity demanded by the British empire as early as the 18th century. This production of indigo however, while it oppressed, was also a way for Black and Native Americans to express their individuality, and for people such as the Gullah-Geechee, their spirituality. Annie continues to draw strength from her roots and it's incredible to see it so profusely in so many aspects of her character, including her clothes.

So here is where I deviate a bit from "canon" per se, or give some interpretation of Ruth E.'s and Coogler's "Smoke is blue." We talk a lot about how the movie does a great job of showing how, though Smoke wasn't completely "sold" on hoodoo, but that he did very much believe in Annie. And that trust between them goes beyond what Smoke's willing to communicate through words (he wears the mojo bag through the war, through Chicago, and removes it only when he's ready to die. How he let's her take the reigns when talking to Cornbread. How he follows through with his promise as painful as it was).

"Smoke is blue. Stack is red." - Ruth E. Carter explaining how Ryan Coogler first posed the characters to her as a jumping off point for costuming.

Whether or not it's a conscious knowledge, I like to think that he dresses in blue as an extension of that trust. That bond between Annie and Smoke and the protection that comes with it bleeds into something as "ordinary" as Smoke's choice of color. One can say that maybe the color reminds him of Annie, and I also think there's some argument to be made about the universe answering Annie's prayers of protection, wrapping Smoke in an extra layer, another ward against evil.

----

Sources:

Blue Roots by Robert Pickney

Red, White and Black Make Blue: Indigo in the Fabric of Colonial South Carolina Life by Andrea Freeser

Haint Blue, the Ghost-Tricking Color of Southern Homes and Gullah Folktales

What the Color ‘Haint Blue’ Means to the Descendants of Enslaved Africans

Interviews of Ruth E. Carter and Hannah Beachler linked in the pull quotes above.

[strangebiology]

I watched your deer slaughter video and I think I big part of what's getting people is that they probably genuinely don't realize how quickly it's "lights out" for the animal. Looking at the eyes and respiration, that deer was probably dead damn near instantly, the leg motion displayed is likely the result of residual nerve twitches.

People are really, really unfamiliar with death, I've found. So many people performing slaughter for the first time want to eat the meat imediately, for example... But that's how you get tough, near unusable meat. Why? Rigor mortis. The beef you get in the store was rested for about 10 days before it got to you just to let the muscles relax - it takes that long for your muscles to stop muscling.

You'll even see strangr post-mortem movements in human corpses, part of the origen of zombies. My own grandmother even did a full Lazarus sign, which was admittedly horrifying since we were very certain she was very dead and we didn't expect it.

I know I am preaching the choir here, mostly just wanting to back you up.

That makes sense. Interesting stuff.

Just speculating here, but I wonder if there is a psychological/cultural aspect to people's misunderstanding of how things die. Death is as scary as it is inevitable, so we tell ourselves and our children that it's just a sudden, peaceful, painless sleep, or there's an afterlife. To protect our minds from the incomprehensible concept of eternal nothingness--for ourselves, our loved ones, and for the animals, especially the ones we kill.

Or, maybe it's an industry thing that has set a standard that's wrong, with the hopes that the public in general would not actually see how things die?

I think about the number of people who say, "Oh my uncle kills deer/cattle/etc, and when he does it, it's instant!" Even though the reindeer and other livestock, when stunned/shot/bolted in the brain, do stop feeling near-instantly (ideally,) and the people making these claims never saw their uncle kill the deer/cattle/etc.

In fact, the uncle may have never said that their animals died instantly, and maybe the people making the claims just wanted to believe "Uncle Joe is so nice, he must do something nicer than killing in a way that involves pain or blood!"

One memorable comment on that video was someone bashing this Indigenous Sami reindeer herder because "Native Americans have a way to kill them instantly!" I asked them to show me a video of this amazing insta-death method that is apparently employed by everyone in their imagined monolith of Native America, if this claim is so real. They sent me a video...of someone who is not Native American talking to the camera about Native Americans, and never so much as mentioning any method of slaughter, let alone showing it. It was just a bunch of nice words.

So, I wonder if people just think "that person I know/that group of people are great and perfect, and that means that if they kill animals, it must be perfect and nice and somehow painless and bloodless and pretty!"

And, when they see real death, which isn't so pretty, they insist, "But there must be something wrong with that one!"

I don't know, just speculating.

[toastytrusty]

i think it finally clicked what about cassian and luthen's relationship i find so compelling. when cassian officially joined the rebellion at the end of season one, he effectively surrendered all of his autonomy to luthen. "kill me or take me in." he literally put his life in luthen's hands. he clearly had very little will to live, and beyond giving luthen the choice to kill him, he gave luthen the choice to give him purpose again. and not Just purpose, either, but full control over the rest of his life, as well. he became part of the cause because he felt he had nothing else left, and was either going to effectively kill himself, or let someone else dictate every single thing he does until he dies anyway, now with a reason behind it, now able to plausibly deny it being wanted. it's simultaneously an admittance of defeat, where he is telling luthen that he won, and an act of defiance, where he is challenging luthen to discard him rather than use him. and obviously luthen would rather use him.

but then there is the bix aspect. cassian's hopelessness at the end of s1 implies that he did not, at that point, see bix as an adequate reason to keep going. not as a reason to stay alive, not as a reason to stay present in anyone else's life. it was not worth remaining an individual, for her sake or his own. and obviously a lot of that is from the insane depressive grief that the whole Ordeal of s1 + losing maarva was. but still. he was very closed off, and singlemindedly thinking about his own ability to give himself to the rebellion. which makes his protectiveness over her in s2 all the more compelling. he is repeatedly getting worked up over her well-being, and acting out in ways that are possibly jeopardizing to the rebellion. it's such a fascinating transition, and regardless of how they got there again, i think in season 2, cassian sees bix as his last place to be human. the one person in the galaxy he can be an individual with, rather than a tool. which is why, in my current, ever-evolving understanding of these characters, i think he gets so contradictory and confused about what he wants from her. he wants her to be strong and a soldier so they can go to war together, because the war is so terribly important to him, but he also wants her to prioritize her own safety over anything else and never put herself at risk, because if he loses her he loses himself. this is necessarily the conflict between them.

which comes to the incredible exchange between cassian and luthen about bix in episode 6 of s2, where we can see how much this conflcit is affecting cassian. he can't stand that luthen is potentially putting bix in danger, and can't stand that luthen is treating them like droids, rather than people. but then. then luthen Reminds cassian. he reminds cassian that he already surrendered his autonomy. he already surrendered his individuality. "we're not who we were when we started." cassian chose this; chose to change for this, chose to give up being a person for this. he doesn't get to now choose to put bix, his one haven, over it. she needs to be able to handle herself, because cassian asserting himself by worrying about her compromises their entire system. "you will have to decide when it becomes too large a problem." but cassian's response is the most important part: "no. that's gonna be up to you." he's essentially turning it back on luthen. if luthen expects him to remain compliant in the way his role calls for, then luthen needs to be fullfilling his side of it, and making sure cassian has an environment that he Can remain compliant in, without compromising anything. "you want my blood? you help me solve this." he is finally standing his ground on something to luthen, asserting himself in a way that is basically begging luthen to let him submit again. he wants to be part of the cause; he still wants to be able to lose himself in it, but he also needs bix, and will not give up the life he knows is possible to share with her.

[kuroposting]

Now, obviously, I don’t think Sebastian knows that this is a trigger. Or that he grabbed his hand in a familiar way the first time, either.

I think it’s symbolic. Yana is constantly drawing hands as analogous to relationships. Sebastian is insecure in his ability to understand the complexities of human emotions and, by extension, his ability to care for Ciel in this arc. He has an idea, but he defers to Takana’s authority on the subject (initially); I’ll make another post about that later. Meanwhile, the crisis of conscience Ciel is experiencing is over his growing camaraderie and dependence on Sebastian, in r!Ciel’s place.

Using Sebastian to attain revenge is one thing, but to stop holding a grudge against him for presumably eating r!Ciel’s soul and shamelessly accepting his attachment to Sebastian and the autonomy that he provides Ciel with, is a severe betrayal. A betrayal of r!Ciel, and of Ciel’s own morals.

Sebastian is at least somewhat aware of this. I’m not totally sure- I think Sebastian is under the impression that Ciel did intentionally sacrifice r!Ciel in his place, and that he took on his identity out of jealousy. He wanted to be heir, and he wanted to marry Lizzy. Sebastian may believe that Ciel regrets doing it and resents Sebastian for being the living proof of Ciel’s wickedness. He wants to force Ciel to confront this aspect of himself and do something about it, but I think he’s slowly come to realize that Ciel isn’t actually to blame, and feels conflicted over his own attachment to him.

These last two panels, by Sebastian’s expression and the black backgrounds isolating the two of them, read to me as if Sebastian is slighted by Ciel’s scolding and lack of gratitude for saving him; something Sebastian is good at and took pride in. It reminds me of his interactions with Will. Even so, it’s apparent to me that he otherwise admires Ciel for being so resistant to the temptation of accepting his comforts, but then he sincerely wants to comfort him. By rejecting Sebastian and maintaining all the loyalty to his brother that he can, Ciel maintains this very unique (“pure”?) form of integrity that Sebas both resents and yet also wishes to maintain himself. Allowing Sebastian to touch will get his master dirty, so he changes his gloves and offers himself again. Unbeknownst to Sebastian, part of the guilt Ciel feels is over him fulfilling r!Ciel’s role as his devout protector and guide. This will have to be elaborated on in a part 2. (will add a hyperlink here when I have it written)

On the other hand, Ciel already believes himself to have already betrayed his brother for being able to benefit from his death whatsoever. This makes him beyond redemption and beyond saving. We have reason to believe that between r!Ciel’s acceptance of his role as first born and Ciel’s illness keeping him holed up in the manor while r!Ciel had fencing lessons and went traveling with their parents, r!Ciel was less innocent than his younger brother. Our Ciel believes himself wicked and weak for having shamelessly accepted their roles, as his role allowed him to be so naive and complacent that he never felt the same responsibly to protect anyone; most notably, r!Ciel. For that, there were consequences.

His powerlessness cost r!Ciel his life and at the cost of his life Ciel was granted the pursuit of living; the ability to help people and bring justice to evils are things only granted at the price of facing the horrific realities of a world that has failed others. Of feeling the weight on your soul when you take on the responsibility of other people that you can fail, responsibility for the failures that are inevitable in pursuit of your goals. Chess is a game of sacrifice.

When Sullivan gave them a chemical shower and performed it as a “purification ritual”, something thematically relevant was happening. Their personal feelings of inadequacy surfaced and they’ve been forced to confront them- though Ciel’s was much more immediate and visceral. His pursuit of Sebastian was an acceptance of himself, that he is worth living for despite what he expressed to Finny. That he accepts the responsibility for his own survival in the face of all who have been sacrificed for his continued existence so far.

Here Sebastian almost seems to reveal the truth of the matter to Ciel, that the ritual was not required to summon him and that it most likely wasn’t even the true intentions of the adults who had committed such evil against him. Demons can appear on a whim, and he repeats as much to Sullivan. On Twitter, Yana said that Ciel was about to ask “did you come on a whim?” but dropped it because it ultimately didn’t matter. She said it wasn’t relevant to the arc iirc, but I disagree lol, It’s at least relevant to the philosophy this manga holds as truth. Ciel wondered if he was already prepared to forfeit his soul for his wish or if Sebastian chose to come to him regardless.

You could wonder if that means that Ciel actually is responsible for sacrificing r!Ciel’s soul (however unintentionally), because that meant that Sebastian never would have eaten him if only Ciel cherished his own soul more.

You could wonder if Sebastian made the decision to take r!Ciel’s soul just to crossover and meet Ciel’s calls completely on his own. You could wonder if Ciel wasn’t prepared to forfeit his soul at all, until he was manipulated and pressured into it by Sebastian.

Who is the blame supposed to fall on? What were Sebastian’s motivations?

You could wonder about any of that, and it doesn’t matter, because the outcome is the same to Ciel. It does not change where they are now. What is done cannot be undone.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I know that Malleus is a sensitive topic here. Even though, he has his weaknesses (which is made very apparent in the canon material); he also has his strengths. One of the things I could immediately think of revolves around his familial attitude towards his family (Lilia, Silver, Sebek). Malleus cherishes his family very much. After all, his fears of losing Lilia was so immense that it ultimately lead him to the overblot. At the core of his character, I see him as someone who is fundamentally familial at heart. Most of his actions in Book 7 are rooted in this aspect of his character. This contrasts his tendency towards self-isolation and enriches his story.

Hey, I want to clarify that Malleus is only a sensitive topic if an ask's tone is aggressive or pushy to begin with. For example, I've previously been spammed with demands to explain why I dislike him + reasons why I should change my mind, told I was "hate criming" him (gross misuse of the term, by the way) for expressing those opinions (I would link to the post, but I actually never publicly responded to this ask or really talked about this publicly), and accused of "[wanting and expecting]" the worst out of him". It's a loud minority that has made me wary when Malleus is brought up. I can't help it, it's sort of gut reflex at this point/j But I'm generally fine with people wanting to discuss him, gush about him, critique him, whatever, so long as things stay civil and open-minded.

I also want to make it clear that even if someone personally dislikes a character, that is not the same as them disregarding the character's positive traits or claiming that the character has no positive traits to begin with. Malleus is certainly no exception to this. (I have a post going over some of the things I enjoy about him, although please keep in mind that it's not meant to be an exhaustive list of his good points.) Personally disliking a character also doesn't mean that you're automatically flagging a character as flat or poorly written. A character could be the best written thing in the entire world or the most complex character ever and people could still dislike them for any reason. Design, vibes, whatever.

That being said, I don't think "familial" is an adjective I've ever personally associated with Malleus? I definitely get those vibes when I browse romantic Malleus fandom works (it's very common to see him being portrayed as a loving, protective father and husband), but not that much with canon content. That's not me claiming Malleus feels nothing toward his Diasomnia members (he definitely DOES care for them), but I don't get the sense that he views them as family or that he’s overtly warm towards them??? At best, I see him perhaps viewing Lilia as a guardian or father figure, especially since it was the fear of losing Lilia that kicked off the major conflict in book 7 + his grandmother seemed too busy with royal duties to raise him. Furthermore, we see that Malleus hatched because of Lilia's magic and how excited he is to see Lilia in multiple flashbacks to Malleus's childhood. He clearly respects Lilia a lot and associates him with the few genuinely happy parts of his childhood. However, I don't see him breaching professional boundaries with Sebek and Silver and skirting into familial territory. (I discuss this more in detail in an older post, so I'd suggest taking a look if you're interested!) Lilia does refer Diasomnia as “not related by blood [but] we are still family", and I believe even their VAs referred to Lilia as a father and Malleus and Silver as brothers. Problem is, I don’t see this reflected in Malleus himself and how he behaves.

It's obvious that Malleus seeks companionship, but that he doesn't realize this about himself without outside help (he couldn't even identify that he was lonely until Yuu pointed it out to him early in book 7). He's so enabled he has become used to the isolation that comes with being at the top and never really thought to question it. This comes through in many of his behaviors: he becomes upset at being left out or uninvited to ceremonies and meetings, when his grandmother (his only living relative) fails to spend time with him despite promising to, and constantly faces struggles connecting with his peers (he tries to, but usually fails in these attempts). And because he fears being left behind, he tries to stop everyone from leaving him. Malleus is also pretty emotionally stunted and awkward due to his growing up alone. This could be a matter of our individual POVs differing, but I think Malleus's loneliness and longing to be with others--despite being raised in relative isolation--is being conflated with being familial?? I genuinely do not recall any standout moments in which Malleus acts familial towards Silver or Sebek, or even towards other peers (though if you can think of any, please share). The only thing that comes to my mind is when Malleus helped Lilia with raising baby!Silver... but even then, I sort of wonder how much of that was intentionally arranged by Lilia to expose Malleus to humans + combat the bigoted worldview he might otherwise develop. Their current day relationship dynamics just don't read as familial to me.

But also 💦 “familial” is a pretty vague term and could mean different things to different people. I think it assumes that families have amicable dynamics within themselves, and I don’t think that’s always the case. Maybe our definitions are entirely different and that’s also contributing to our conclusions looking nothing alike.

[ladymrf]

so I'm back with more sad (?) sht

....

"I thought you were off the streets today?"

The voice modified by the helmet reaches Tim, he doesn't turn to acknowledge Jason, just waits for him to approach, Jason comes to the edge of the roof and looks at what Tim is observing hidden.

A few rooftops away, Batman and Robin fight a fair amount of thugs, Bruce and Damian alone, they are good, of course they are, familiar fighting styles and Tim swears he saw Bruce smiling at Damian's skills at some point.

"What? Planning to pull a Red Hood on the kid? No offense Red, but we both know the problem is the Bat, never the Bird."

Tim frowned and looked at Jason in confusion.

"What? No. I mean, sure it sucks to be replaced by a kid after having been through so much shit in that position, but no, God, I can't pull a Hood on the kid, that would be stupid… No offense."

Jason knew very well that he meant to offend.

"So? What are you doing here? Reviving the old habit of stalking?"

"No, I just needed to make sure you two were well adjusted to each other, I'm pleased with what I've seen so far." Tim stepped away from the edge of the roof "Finally free."

"Of what?"

"Of the weight." Tim answered easily, he looked at Jason with a hint of curiosity "I understand all the bitterness of losing the mantle and the place in the family, I really understand Hood, but didn't you feel relief?"

Jason considers in silence for a long time, Tim realizes that probably not, Jason was dealing with a lot more along with the loss of all aspects of his life in Gotham, he had lost his life in general, so he rephrased the question.

"After you stabilized a bit, wasn't it better? Easier to breathe? Without all that weight."

"Robin should never be heavy, kid." Jason looked at him, Hood's helmet conveyed the expression of displeasure very well "It should be light, because birds must fly."

"Hm. I guess you and N. were always stronger than me then." He looked back at the place where the fight was taking place "I think D. will be the lightest of us." Tim shook his head and smiled "I hope so."

"What were you talking about before? About relief."

"Isn't it a relief not to be responsible for Batman anymore?" Tim asked bluntly, Hood just blinked "If we're not Robin, we're not subject to his shit, I mean, fuck if the patrol sucks, fuck if something puts him in a bad mood, fuck if he's angry. It's not our problem anymore. It's not our responsibility to try to make him see reason. To bring him back from his dark mind to the real world. To be the light. That's Robin's job."

Jason is silent, he stares at Tim completely surprised at how relieved the boy seems, it's like a weight is lifted off him with each sentence, it's like Tim is returning to his normal posture after being crushed for years.

"Don't you think that's a lot of responsibility for a child?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, but D. will do fine, he has plenty of people on his side to intervene if something goes off the rails." Tim shrugged and with more bitterness than he should have said the next part "Someone always intervenes for him. Besides, he has Nightwing."

"We both had him too."

"Not the way he does it, you know that." Tim laughed at Jason's speech "Well, it's not my problem. Not anymore. Dealing with B. is Robin's responsibility and the current one will have to deal with it."

"You're telling me, that the first time B screws the boy over, because he will, you and I both know, you won't jump in to solve the problem?"

Tim looks at Jason, really looks at him with a look that borders on physical pain.

"Of course I'll go." Tim says easily, "Because I want to, because Robin is a child and we have to protect children, not because I need to keep B in line. It's good to do things because you want to, not because you have to."

Jason almost asks if someone ever jumped between Batman and Tim's Robin, if someone ever interfered in their disputes, if someone looked at the boy walking next to the bat and saw a child and not the sidekick.

He knows the answer, Jason himself hasn't done it before.

Instead, he sighs and says, "Want to go blow up a gang downtown?"

Red Robin smiles at him, "Yes, please."

[ragingdumpsterfire]

[fromtheseventhhell]

Remember George's outline notes that had "joy of giving" and "mercy at the gate" for Arya? Mercy is crossed out and we obviously have that as her sample chapter, so what if Arya's next alias is "Joy"? Over-thinking the significance of that phrase and how it could apply to the rest of her Braavos arc🤔

[desalvar]

Though now a powerful witch in his own right, MAGIC was never in Nikodemus' nature until he made it so. Born a human with such little talent or hope to gain power, not even an ascension to monstrosity netted him many abilities. It wasn't until the creation of a metaphysical phylactery did the world of magic open up to him. Namely, while he still could not learn spellcasting like those with an inborn gift, he could pluck their power from them and, through the creation of a unique new system, make using it possible. A well-abhorred vulture among witches and sorcerers, Nikodemus shamelessly studied and stole from divine, esoteric and arcane, only to transform it into his own version of magic - a bastardized, sullied translation. Unholy. Unnatural. Undying.

Phylactery, grimoire, fountain of immortality. Paid for with blood, death and the lifeforce of hundreds, THE GIFT is the very middleground of Nikodemus' body, soul and magic. A catch-all binding sygil, separated from his vessel and spiderwebbing its ichor tendrils to hold all unstable parts of him together - the capricious spirit, the fallible flesh and the power he was never meant to wield.

FIRST it is the keeper of his immortality. The reason he is called an eater. And that, he is, at much grander scale than he could ever previously achieve. All living things marked with the gift - by ways of a small black fingerprint, inconspicuous by any means - find their souls irreparably caught in its black webbings and at Nikodemus' mercy. When his vessel is killed or suffers any death, one of his Gifted pay the price of its regeneration with their lifeforce. Likewise, dying on other terms doesn't net anyone freedom either. Once a soul is marked for taking, it is his. And once it is free of the flesh, it follows his call. A far cry from his humble beginnings, when Nikodemus had to wait for death to sever the soul of its mortal coil, he is now capable of far more and worse.

SECOND it is a repository for power. The flesh is feeble, especially one as piteously human-adjacent as his own, and his Eater soul, bottomless yet limited by physical trappings, could never quite have its fill before. Now unbound, it can hold thousands other souls within its void, from the mundane to the grand deiform.

THIRD it is a tool for magic. The strands of ichor (of ink) the gift manifests, Nikodemus has learned to take and twist to his liking. It is a wrestle, a reshaping of his very tether (and body alongside), a vulnerable and fragile affair, but moulding strands of magic into forms that serve him - and himself into forms that wield them - requires painful changes. His runes, as he lovingly calls them, is each a perversion of power he stole and blackened into his own design. Their manifestation is physical. The ink permeates every facet of him, externalized through animated, moving blots of it spanning his body and assuming shapes and runes at will. His very own witch's grimoire, writen on his skin.

...

*The Gift was created at the crescendo of the Krilneian massacre. A whole village of the magically gifted - their souls, heads, all their power - fueled its conception. The hand that binds Nikodemus severed from his very self, the eye that sees - from the oldest witness, the poison - from a viper feasting on its tail and the final element - the death of his last remaining child: Krilnei itself, whole.

[lenzimanotarchived]

some headcanons regarding F.iyero's bg/his relationship with O.z:

F.iyero is the only son & heir of Marilott T.igelaar, Chieftain of the A.rjikis, and Baxiana of Upper F.anarra. The T.igelaars & their tribe are the strongest force in the V.inkus & therefore hold a powerful, unique position there but also represent it in the rest of O.z. That obviously comes with a lot of pressure & responsibility & F.iyero's father instills a deep sense of duty to their family & country in him from an early age.

I mentioned this before, but in threads that aren't specifically set in the musical plot, F.iyero has also been married to S.arima since they've been 7 by default, following book canon here.

an important aspect in how Fi.yero interacts & holds himself in O.z is the constant threat from the east. He is very aware of the Vi.nkus being the last part of O.z still (relatively) unoccupied by the W.izard & his forces & how much he'd like to change that.

therefore going to S.hiz is not just a way for F.iyero to extend his studies, but it's perhaps mainly a diplomatic mission, to show his willingness to assimilate.

mastering his shallow and carefree persona is very much about survival, both his own & his homes'. Because as long he doesn't appear to be a threat, there's no good reason to invade the V.inkus.

going with the musical plot - this also plays into him becoming captain of the guards eventually. It's another step to keep the peace & outwardly show that he's become part of O.z (it is only one reason of course, but that's a whole different story).

Is that a very delicate line to walk on & does it stress him out? YES

in addition I have the headcanon that his father died not long after the events of act i, so F.iyero is left fully in charge of the Arjiki tribe & with the responsibility to protect the V.inkus, when he becomes captain & gets engaged to G.linda.

F.iyero cares very deeply about his home, even if he might pretend not to care about anything. He has always been prepared to defend it if the situation calls for it.

honestly, the greatest sign of how much E.lphaba means to him, is that he's ready to give up his position to be free with her.

speaking of freedom: leaving everything behind is also about leaving behind the perpetual thoughts about how he's perceived by others/how he can be comfortable to them. this is ultimately what he learns through E.lphaba.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

head in my hands im trying to come up w prinzhes headcanons but i literally cannot because prinz is like. a pink and less tragic and less headache-inducing version of tesilid.

they're both very gentlemanly, they both can fight, if someone is unfair to them they're more likely to smile and try to smooth it over than to fight back. if hestio is going to find prinz attractive then he'd have found tesilid attractive too, but if he isn't nursing a massive crush on tesilid by the time he meets prinz then it means that tesilid gave him so much blood pressure problems that they're no longer his type.

so anyway in conclusion teshes solos- wait what? how did this turn into teshes propaganda

[themyscirah]

Just saw a bunch of atrocious wonder woman takes and I hate everything

Someone google nearest bridge to jump off of im so done w this

[shwarmii]

i never realized Viktor was missing from Disenchanted Fashions before (or at least tumblr isnt showing him) and i am having so much fun with that bit of freedom towards his wardrobe jfc

[scootersscooter]

Would I ever recommend people watch Will & Grace? No. Absolutely Not. But have I seen all 11 seasons and formed way too many thoughts and opinions on this show that make me overly emotional? Yes.