#there’s a part in the story where (insert character name here I haven’t named them yet) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sirowsky-stories · 11 months ago

Text

Collision

Part 9

Description: Taking a gamble, Pero seeks out the people responsible for the threat to Niki's life, ready to end it, one way or another.

Warnings: Pero Tovar x OFC, no reader insert, Pero's pov, conspiracy, cursing, angst, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, secret identity, AU fic. TW: mentions of child-abuse and rape, as well as spousal abuse and coerced self-cutting. (Not committed by any of the main characters.) Rating: Mature/Explicit 18+ONLY Word Count: 6520 Series Masterlist

Author's Note: So sorry for the delay, but here is the final part of this series. I partly wish that I'd had more inspiration for a different ending to this, but I'm also not sure what that ending might've been. Anyway, thank you to anyone who toughed it out and comes to see how this ends! And to those of you who showered this story with your enthusiasm while it was active: You're all superheroes!

-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-

It’s been three days since his run-in with the general’s assassin when he finally finds a way into the secure military base which the man himself operates from. All of Pero’s informants have been on constant high alert since he informed them of his need to gain access to Hayword, preferably quietly, but by any means necessary should it come to that. And they haven’t disappointed.

The Qwerty brothers are the ones who bring him the crucial intel, having managed to trick an off-duty officer into divulging a few tidbits of information during a drinking game the night before. If there’s one thing the superstar wannabes are good at, it’s holding their liquor. He had expected them to try and worm their way out of the deal, using this success as their bargaining chip, but surprisingly, they seem only excited to give him something useful. They even offer to act as his muscle, which would in no way benefit them if he fails. And come to think of it, not really if he should win either.

He turns them down, though. It’s easier to sneak in undetected if it’s just him. But he does consider it, because undisciplined though the men might be, they are formidable killers and completely unbothered by the status or power of whomever their target might be. They’d be handy in a close-quarter fight, no doubt. As it is, this mission requires finesse rather than brute force, so he heads to the compound alone.

It’s big. Departments of almost all branches of the US military operates from here, which is why Hayword has so many resources at his disposal. But Pero suspects that not many people here are aware of the real reason why such a decorated and high-profile officer hasn’t risen further in status yet. His accolades on paper more than suggests he should be eligible for promotion into the very highest ranks of the US Army, but here he is, commanding just one base in the District of Colombia.

They don’t know that this is as far as he will ever go, because of the practices he applies to achieve those victories. That he’s a precision tool being used where he can operate the most freely, while still under strict supervision. They have no idea the man is responsible for entire massacres, and that he considers such actions to be normal practice. To him, there is no such thing as an atrocity, so long as it’s committed in the name of protecting American citizens.

And the fact that only a handful of people within the highest seats of the government know this, is also precisely why killing the general won’t solve anything. It would just spark an even worse manhunt. Which means that Pero has to play this much more delicately. But he’s prepared himself as well as he possibly could have.

A precision strike, perfectly timed and executed is what it’ll take to succeed here tonight, but if all his assets have performed exactly as instructed, there’s every chance it could work. He chooses to focus on that, rather than the overwhelming odds he might fail, as he begins his perilous endeavor into the base. This is for Niki. So, even if he dies trying, it’s already worth it.

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

“That’s it?”

“It’s all I can find. He heads for one of the neighboring buildings, by the looks of it, but I can’t see him beyond the subway cameras.”

“So, what? He’s just gone…?” Niki half screams, half sobs, because this is more than she can take right now.

“No, no, no, hey…” William counters softly, taken off guard by how strongly she reacts, rising to his feet and turning away from the screens to give her his full focus. “He would never leave you. You gotta know that.”

She does know that. In the safest and most tightly guarded part of her heart, she knows. But her mind falters, corroded by the terror she’s been living with for weeks now, and she closes her eyes against his words, unable to allow herself the hope.

“Something’s happened while he was out, either someone spotted him or he’s afraid that someone will, that’s the only reason he’d behave like this. Trying to throw someone off our scent. So, now more than ever, it’s imperative that we don’t screw up. Do you hear me, Niki?”

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

Once inside the compound, Pero moves fast. He needs to locate the general before anyone clocks him as someone who doesn’t belong there, although the stolen uniform he’s wearing helps to make him stand out less. There are way too many people to try and sneak past, so he has to walk among them as though he belongs, knowing who to salute and how to behave like just another cog in the military machine.

Which is why he’s spent the past three days scouting the base from afar, learning it’s rhythm, routine, and discipline. He knows everything he needs to know, including that the rank indicated on his uniform gives him access to the building where Hayword mostly operates from. He gets in without problems, thanks to an immaculate fake ID badge with a built-in electronic signature for all locks on the premises, courtesy of the best forger in the world.

The general is already in there, he’s made sure to time it so that the man will be in his office, probably having lunch, when Pero gets to him. This is where routine and punctuality becomes a man’s enemy, because those things make him predictable, and the trespasser has spent enough time observing him to know that he never misses his lunch. Mrs. Hayword makes it for him, with outstanding precision.

On his way there, Pero encounters a nervous cadet, probably only given access to this building while she learns about the real-life application of military forces, because she doesn’t have the rank required to actually work in here. Ordinarily, that would require her to stay on the heels of a chaperone, or supervisor, but she’s all alone when he meets her in an otherwise empty corridor. Most all corridors are empty, since personnel here work primarily at desks and with computers, not requiring them to move around much within departments.

“Sir!” she salutes as she approaches him, and as soon as he’s saluted her in return, she launches into a nervous rant. “Sir, I’m so sorry, I don’t wanna be a bother and I’m sure you’re very busy, but I’ve lost my captain, and I don’t know what to do. Can you help me? If I screw this up, I won’t pass this month’s evaluation…”

He checks his watch. It’ll take him another two minutes to reach the general’s office and by his calculations, he has at least ten minutes before his mark might be finishing his meal. But he’s not keen on going off-script. Even the smallest deviation could be fatal to his mission.

“Do you know where you’re supposed to be right now, cadet?” he asks, hoping to ascertain if this might be a quick fix.

“Uh, I think we were heading for Logistics, but then I went to the bathroom and when I got out-…”

“Straight down this hall, take a left, then follow the corridor all the way to the end. Logistics is the last door on your right,” he cuts her off, then continues on his way.

“Oh, gosh, thank you so much, Major!” she chirps while she starts moving in the direction he’s indicated.

He has the entire building memorized from top to bottom, so simply giving directions was never gonna be an issue. But as he’s about to turn a corner, he hears the young woman say something, more to herself than anyone else, and her words manage to grind him to a halt.

“…I’m enough of a failure as it is.”

Precisely why hearing these words from this unknown woman (well, more like girl, really) affects him so profoundly in that moment, escapes his understanding at first. But as he turns back and sees her initial excitement at knowing where to go, fade with the understanding that she’ll likely get an earful once she gets there, and how her shoulders slump with the realization that she’s already failed, something stirs in his gut.

Some dormant paternal instinct, maybe, brought to the surface by even the frailest possibility that he might one day have to see his own child suffer with self-doubt and insecurity.

“Cadet,” he calls back softly, and she immediately stops, whirling around and adapting the correct pose for when an officer addresses her, with her hands tight to her sides and her feet close together. “How old are you?”

“Nineteen, sir.”

“Nineteen…” he repeats, tasting the word while his mind makes a quick jump back in time, recalling his own, less than excellent youth. “You’re in the military rather than a gang. You take pride in accomplishing a task, rather than expect the world to cater to you. You worry about how to be a good soldier, when you could’ve just as easily thrown your life away in any number of ways and for any sort of shallow reasons. But you’re here. Where everything is hard and challenging, testing yourself to the limits of your abilities, day after day.”

She grows teary-eyed as she listens, and he wonders if no one has ever seen or pointed out her strength before. Just as he wonders why he does now, and why this girl’s strength even matters to him.

“You’re not a failure, cadet.”

He can see her open her mouth to say something, but her throat is too tightly closed, so she nods instead, while a small but infinitely grateful smile adorns her lips, before she turns and sprints down the hall, no doubt worried about how late she already is. And perhaps eager to conceal her tears from someone she believes to be her superior.

Pero watches her leave, even though he’s on a schedule, and a strange feeling that this encounter was important to him, lingers in his body. Something warm but also frightening. Once she’s gone, he shakes his head a fraction and then resumes his course for the general’s office, checking his watch again on the way. Three minutes to spare.

Reaching the correct door, he pauses and listens, confirming someone’s actually in there, before he knocks just once and then steps in without waiting for an invitation. He only alerted the man to the presence of someone at his door to ensure that he’ll be looking this way as Tovar steps in, since he knows the man will immediately look him up and down in search of any visible weapons. And finding none, he’ll trick himself into a false sense of security, which is exactly where his enemy wants him. Oblivious to the real danger.

“Good day, general. My apologies for interrupting your lunch, sir, but I’m afraid I have a rather urgent matter to discuss,” he politely addresses the older man, who looks mostly annoyed, but also confounded.

“I’m sorry, do I know you, major?”

“No, sir.”

“Then what makes you think you can interrupt my lunch at all?”

“Urgency, as mentioned, sir. I’m afraid this can’t wait.”

“I don’t care how god damned urgent you think whatever this is might be, I don’t know you, which means you’re not part of my unit. So, you can either get out or get arrested,” the general barks, glaring at him now over his plate of roast beef and mashed potatoes.

“You’re correct, sir, I’m not part of your unit. In fact, I’m not a major or even listed in any military,” Pero confesses calmly, following the other man’s movements as he quickly rises from his chair and picks up his phone, probably to call the military police.

But his uninvited guest doesn’t flinch.

“Mary does make wonderful lunches for you. There’s such dedication to every detail, so much time spent on planning and preparation, one might think she’s a chef,” he says, layering every word with implication, and seeing the man freeze before hitting any button as he realizes the fraud before him isn’t harmless. “Even the plate is immaculately prepared. Not one drop of sauce in the wrong place, everything perfectly measured and laid out in exact proportions… almost as if she worries that getting one detail wrong would see her punished for her failure.”

Hayword is fuming by the time he finishes, but he keeps his feelings under control for the time being, undoubtedly hoping to learn more about his enemy. Although, the fact that he puts the phone down without having attempted any calls, reveals to his guest just how uncomfortable the man suddenly is, and how much power Pero has over him right now.

“Everyone here knows my wife; you could’ve asked around for that information. If you’re trying to intimidate me-…”

“She cuts herself in the evenings,” he clips the general off, and sees his quarry literally swallow whatever he’d been about to say. “You’ve taught her how to do it exactly right so that it’ll hurt without causing any real damage. Because you like to watch.”

The older man’s rage is undiminished, but his lips remain sealed, because he knows where this is going, and while he might not be ashamed of it, he damned well knows what happens if it gets out.

“Her pain is the only thing that arouses you, so you stand there at the edge of the bed, stroking yourself while you watch her cut repeatedly at your command, just so you can shove your dick down her throat and choke her half to death once she’s got you hard enough,” Pero continues, letting his disdain for the man be heard in every syllable now. “I’m curious, do you think your unit would have your back if they found out what happened to your first two wives?”

Hayword’s anger seems to dissipate now, because this is entirely unexpected. He’s been assured that no evidence remains of those women, or of the crimes he committed against them. But Tovar is no ordinary man. Secrets find him as if they had a mind and a will of their own.

“You’re bluffing…” the general tries, although his tone is all but convincing.

To prove that he isn’t, the trespasser produces an envelope from his jacket pocket, throwing it on the desk for the other man to retrieve. He’s not stupid enough to hand anything directly to the trained military officer with no conscience or morals, as that would practically be an invitation for the man to engage in physical combat.

Hayword picks it up and pulls the top open, sliding the one folded piece of paper out and taking a step back before he unfolds it, since looking at it requires him to take his eyes off his enemy, and he wants a little more space between them first, to give himself another second of reaction time, should Tovar decide to attack when his focus is elsewhere. But one look at the paper in his hands is enough to make him realize that his unwanted guest fights his battles in a different way.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asks between tight jaws, as he refocuses on the man who stands in the middle of his office, with his arms hanging loosely down his sides, seeming as unbothered by this encounter as he would meeting a tree in the forest.

“My name is Mr. Hood,” he replies, and then pauses to let the general absorb that, clearly familiar with the infamous name, before he continues. “Ordinarily, I never work for anyone other than myself, but in this instance, I’ve made an exception. And her name is Nikita Morse.”

The older man doesn’t seem terribly surprised to hear that, but his mood shifts again because he’s well aware of how important that woman is right now, not just to the US military, and even government, but to the general himself. Failure to ascertain or assassinate this particular target wouldn’t go over well with his superiors. Best case scenario is that he merely loses his job.

“If you know anything about Morse, you know we can’t just leave her be,” he counters, but there isn’t much conviction behind his words anymore.

“And I’m here to inform you that if you don’t, I will not only ruin your life… I’ll come after everyone. Straight up the chain of command, all the way to the President himself,” Pero cautions, meaning every word.

“You’d never get close to anyone else. I’ve seen your face, we’ll be able to track your every move from now on, you won’t be able to take a shit without us hearing about it.”

“Oh, but that won’t be necessary. You see, my method has always been to use middle-hands for everything, and this is no different. My face won’t help you because I won’t be the one who delivers the damning evidence to the courts, or the spouses, or the children. I’ve been doing this for a long time, general. Long enough to know how to infiltrate your innermost circles and get your terrified wife to confess to exactly what you do to her, just like I know how colonel Peters doesn’t go to church for the sermons, or why the Chairman himself has no less than three hidden bank accounts in different parts of the world.”

Hayword merely swallows hard at that, but Tovar can see how he’s still looking for a way out, refusing to accept that this one man could ever do so much damage.

“So, you’re willing to die for this woman? Because you gotta know no matter what you might have on me, I can’t let you waltz out of here.”

“Well now, the problem isn’t really what I have on you, is it?” he taunts, knowing he’s still got the upper hand here and ready to play his cards as savagely as he possibly can.

“The fuck does that mean?”

“Tyler…” Pero says softly, and all color drains from the general’s face.

Because even he knows that out of all the messed up shit his family has going on, his oldest son takes the cake, by miles.

“Where was it you found him the first time? Arizona? With those poor boys he’d raped just bleeding out on the ground… And what did you do? You helped him cover it up. He killed two little kids, and you just swept it under the rug like it never happened. The second time was in Tennessee, if I’m not mis-…”

“Alright! You’ve made your god damned point!” the general all but roars as the truth gets to be too much for him. “Just… stop.”

But his unwanted guest isn’t one to let his marks off easy.

“I can’t do that. Unless you stop first. That’s the only way this ends, because even if I die, my informants will continue to do my bidding. They’ll have no choice. I’ve made sure of it.”

“Do you have any idea how dangerous the information your girl sits on is? How powerful that knowledge would be in the hands of our enemies?” Hayword presses, but his tone betrays nuances of desperation now.

“Yes, I do. But the problem here, general, is what you have failed to understand about all this, which is that when you turn on your own… the definition of an enemy suddenly becomes very broad. Right now, for instance, you’re my biggest enemy. The US government is my enemy. Not because of my own history or even your politics, but simply because you used and discarded some of the greatest scientific minds of this country, as if they were worthless. How am I supposed to trust anyone who treats their own assets that way?”

“No, you just blackmail your own fucking assets instead…”

“The difference being that I’ve never tried to hide it from them or gone back on my word to leave them alone if they do what I demand. I tell them from the start exactly what’s happening and how to avoid it escalating into something truly unpleasant, and if they play along, nothing bad happens to them. You told these people they were free to go live their lives, and then you hunted them down like cattle to the slaughter. I’m no saint, but at least I don’t hide behind an army so I can pretend to be the good guy.”

The general has no comeback for that, but he’s deeply unhappy with how this conversation is going, that much is evident from the ever-growing hopelessness in his eyes.

“Considering what I’ve just told about myself and my methods, I have only one more thing to ask you, sir,” Pero finally determines, holding the man’s gaze with pure steel in his own, as he delivers the last question. “Will you comply with my demand, and seize all pursuit, physical and digital, of the innocent woman we both know as Nikita Morse?”

“It’s not within my power to command.”

“Yes, it is. In fact, you are the only person with the power to make that command. If you weren’t, I’d be in someone else’s office right now.”

“I can’t risk the safety of this country-…”

“And losing the entire government, along with all trust from the American people, isn’t risking the safety of this country?” Tovar counters, letting his voice turn sharp and somewhat threatening to highlight the ridiculousness of the man’s reasoning.

The general falters at that, unable to think of a retort. He’s painted into a corner, held hostage on one side by the responsibilities he carries against his superiors, and on the other, by Pero’s ultimatum. Either way, he risks terrifying consequences both to himself and those around him, so the only questions which remains, is whether he values family or his work the highest.

Pero is ordinarily exceptional at reading people and their intentions, but on this occasion, he can’t determine what the general will decide. With how he treats his wife, one could be forgiven for thinking he doesn’t give a shit about her, but on the other hand, he’s gone to great lengths and sacrificed a lot in the name of protecting his son.

So, the trespasser waits. And the man deliberates.

Then…

“I have your word that my family affairs will not be publicized, in any forum, on any type of platform, physical or digital, if I agree to call off the search on Morse?”

“If you pick up that phone and make the call to the Chief, declaring her dead and dealt with, right now in front of my eyes, and give me every assurance that no further efforts will be spent, from any unit, military, private or otherwise, on further pursuing her, covertly or openly, then yes. I will disappear, and you will never see me again.”

“And what about the outside sources who already pursue her?”

“They’ll be dealt with; I can promise you that.”

The general takes one more moment to consider, and then makes his decision. He picks up the phone, and just to make sure that he knows he can’t trick his way out of this, Pero recites the number he needs to call, checking that the man does indeed punch in the correct digits and insisting that he put the phone on speaker. The call is brief and to the point, and when it’s over, the unwanted guest leaves the same way he walked in.

No alarms start blaring. No one tries to stop him. The general has kept his word. For now. But Tovar fully intends to keep monitoring him closely.

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

Two months after he disappeared, Niki has all but stopped believing he’s ever coming back. She never stands by the curtained windows anymore, dreaming of stepping outside into the freedom and fresh air. She no longer pesters William for updates, desperate for any scrap of news about her lover. She persists. Her life is a prison-like routine of exercise, food, and sleep. Nothing more.

If not for the baby, she would’ve given up by now and taken her chances on the streets. But she can’t risk the life she carries. His child, and maybe all that’s left of him. Weeks ago, she made a choice to think of him as dead, and allow herself to grieve him, because otherwise she would’ve been buried under the endless torrent of uncertainty. So, to her mind, he’s gone, and he isn’t coming back.

In his place, Will does what he can, taking care of the housework and making sure that Niki follows her routines to stay healthy and give the baby the best conditions available. He stopped telling her about any leads he finds a while back, after noticing that it only ever upsets her when nothing comes of them. But she knows he still searches. That the hours spent in front of those screens aren’t merely to make sure he knows if someone picks up their trail, but also to look for any clue his missing friend might’ve left for him.

She worries about him. He’s a fragile person, prone to denial, but eventually he will have to accept that his searching is in vain, and when that happens, however long it might take for him to reach that point, it’s going to absolutely destroy him. But she suspects it’ll take him years to get there.

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

Without Will’s help, it takes three times longer for Pero to find the people he needs to find next. But he can’t risk contacting them. Hayword has thus far stuck to his word, and so long as the three of them only have the Chinese element to worry about, he’s not gonna jeopardize their best chance of getting out of this in one piece, just because he misses Niki.

He does though. So fucking much. It’s impossible not to think about her, not to wonder if her belly has begun to swell, or worry that she’s had to come to terms with having lost the baby, without him there to grieve with her and comfort her. That’s the hardest part. Not knowing if she needs him right now.

But he’s close to finishing this, he’s finally found the person who’s after her. It took this long only because the woman was hiding behind a network of decoys, but once Pero figured it out, locating the actual culprit wasn’t very hard. What is going to be hard, though, is getting to her. She’s got layers upon layers of security, and lives in what’s essentially a fortress, forcing her enemy to keep his distance and observe.

Mr. Hood is not a man who enjoys violence, and although he is good at fighting when it’s required of him, he’s always preferred a more elegant solution. It generally creates less ripples on the water, less potential future complications. But this time, he may have no choice. His research into this woman has revealed no skeletons, probably not because there aren’t any, but more likely due to her exceptional skills at manipulation.

She runs her miniature empire not by instilling fear in her subjects, but by making them love her and thus desire nothing more than to protect her. To get to her, Pero is gonna need to get creative. He already knows that what she wants from the information Niki can provide, is to use it as leverage against the male dominance of her country’s leaders and decision makers. She wants a seat at the table. But what he can’t figure out is how to offer her something either better than the weapon’s research, or something scary enough to make her back off.

Everyone has something in their history they don’t want people to know. And this is always especially true of the rich. The problem is that her circle is so tight he can’t get to her from the outside. Can’t rummage through her secrets by coercing someone to feed them to him, because everyone who might know them live in the fortress with her. All equally inaccessible. Unless… he tries something really stupid.

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

“Come on, Tovar,” William grumbles to himself, having once again checked all his online traps for signs of the missing member of their group, and come up dry. “Give me a damned crumb, will ya.”

It’s the middle of the night and Niki’s asleep, so he keeps his voice down, but this is how he spends most nights these days. Hunched over his keyboard, restlessly searching in ever more unlikely places. He’s got programs running non-stop, some designed to look for Pero’s physical description in coroners reports from all over the world, others to look for mentions of his alias in people’s voice mails, emails, text messages, and so on. He’s got dozens of these programs running every minute of every day.

Nothing pings anymore. After almost three months, there are no leads. Nikita gave up on him a while ago. But not because she doesn’t want him to come back or because she doesn’t believe in him. She gave up because hope hurts too much. She doesn’t have a choice now, but to focus her efforts on her baby, and she tries. But Will can see how it tortures her. That however much she might try and convince herself he’s dead and that she’s grieved him, the hope is still there.

That’s why Will hardly ever rests. Even if he can’t bring her partner back to her, he can at least try to give her closure, if indeed Pero has been lost. But unlike Niki, the veteran still leans on his hope. He still believes that the mysterious Mr. Hood is alive, working hard on keeping her safe. He’s got too much experience with the man to believe he could be bested even by enemies of this caliber.

And what drives his hope most of all, is actually the lack of findings. Because if Tovar had been killed, someone would’ve been yelling about it, somewhere in the world. A person like him doesn’t just vanish, not when so many people have reason to fear what he knows, and how that information might be distributed upon his demise. No, he’s still alive. Plotting, scheming, hunting. Wherever he is, he’s not done.

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

It was far from a perfect plan, but as he now stands before his quarry, finally, after weeks of patiently waiting in a dungeon, he’s smiling internally at the fact that he’s about to win this war. Getting himself captured might’ve seemed counterintuitive, but it had been the only way to get himself inside the fortress, where he’d been able to start sowing seeds of doubt within the residents and learn more about his captor in the process.

And now he has the woman herself, Baozhai Gao, in front of him at last. He knows how to get her to back off, just like he knows that she’s actually not a villain. Her entire life has been spent in a silent war, a constant threat to her existence, and all she wants is just to have enough power that she doesn’t have to fight anymore. Something he can easily give her.

“I’m told you are responsible for the loss of my best team,” she says once he’s standing before her, tied up and on his knees, but otherwise unharmed.

He’s waited until today to disclose to his guards that he knows all about the house in the woods and the six operatives who never returned from there, since Gao clearly doesn’t know who he is by face alone.

“It was my house they tried to infiltrate in search of Miss Morse,” he admits, and sees her interest pique at the mention of Niki. “Unfortunately for them, I’m a very resourceful person. And someone who cares a great deal about the woman you seek.”

“You know where she is,” Gao hungrily replies, too enamored by learning this to realize that what he’s really saying is, he’s never going to help her find her quarry.

“I know a lot of things, Baozhai. Like what your brother did to you when you were twelve. How he tried to sell you so that your parents would only have him to dote on. I know about The Park and what you were made to do there, the things you had to do to free yourself, the things the ensuing guilt then made you do to yourself… I know you’ve had about the shittiest life anyone could imagine and that all you want is just to be free of men and our endless pursuit of power.”

She looks absolutely sick to hear him say this, and he understands that, because this woman has never shared her secrets with anyone. Not really. She carries her deepest burdens alone, specifically so that no one can use them against her. And now here’s this foreigner, this outsider, who somehow knows her innermost truths.

“How?” she challenges, and there’s both anger and desperation dripping from the one little word as it falls across her lips.

“That’s not as important as why.”

“It’s important to me.”

“Only because you fear that someone else might learn about it, but I can assure you, they won’t. I’m not here to hurt you, just to make a deal.”

“A deal? You mean blackmail me into leaving Nikita Morse alone.”

“No. I mean offer you something even more valuable, in exchange for her freedom,” he counters, deliberately using the word freedom instead of suggesting she should cooperate, since he knows what that word means to Gao.

She doesn’t respond verbally, but her eyes tell him to go on.

“I can provide you with damning information about half the world’s most influential people. From leaders and corporate whales to those you’ve never even heard of, but who’s networks of information are crucial to the balance of power within this world.”

“If you really have this kind of information, why not use it yourself?” she challenges, not ready to believe that anyone could have that level of power and just sit on it.

“Because I’ve never had any ambitions. All I’ve ever wanted is just for people to stop being cruel for the pettiest fucking reasons, but I could never find anyone who didn’t disappoint. And then I met Niki. And now all I want is just to be with her. To not have to run or hide for the rest of our lives. To find out if our baby made it-…”

He has to stop then, because the thought reminds him of how long he’s been away, and it tortures him to think of how Niki must hate him now. How she must’ve come to the conclusion that he’s either abandoned her completely, or that he’s dead. If the baby did make it, she’ll be halfway through the pregnancy by now, but unable to see a doctor or an OBGYN, unable to even leave the apartment. And he can imagine what something like that would do to a person like her.

Whether Gao believes him or not, she decides that the information he offers is too valuable to pass up and agrees to a deal. It takes him another two days to convince her of his truthfulness, however, which he does by offering up absolutely crushing evidence against one of her worst adversaries, but then she finally lets him go.

-=¤=-

Returning to New York is just as terrifying as it had been to leave. He has to be cautious, though. Not rush back to the apartment building, but instead take the time to make sure Hayword is still keeping his word. He makes his presence in the city known by walking around where dozens of different cameras will capture his face and body in detail, and then he makes himself disappear again, sticking to the shadows as he watches and waits.

After five days, he decides that if someone is still watching, he’ll risk it. He has to see her again, even if it means getting back on the run. He walks straight up to the front door of the building and steps inside, heading for the elevators and going to the correct floor without detours or any attempts at confusing anyone who might be tracking him.

The doors open and he walks out into the hallway, suddenly so scared that they won’t be there. That no one will answer when he knocks. He passes a painting and sees his reflection in the glass, abruptly concerned that he hasn’t dressed better, or combed his hair, or washed his hands since going to the bathroom that morning. As if any of it matters.

Instead of peepholes, there are little widescreen cameras at chest height in each apartment door, directly linked to a touchscreen inside, which automatically displays what the camera sees if there’s movement within its field of vision. So, they’ll know it’s him before they even open. If they’re still there.

His hand shakes as he raises it towards the flat surface before him, and he hesitates, taking a couple of trembling breaths before he taps on the door, so timidly that it barely makes a sound at first, and he has to coerce his hand to tap harder. His heart races while he waits, too loud in his own ears for him to hear if there are any sounds from in there. Any signs of movement. It takes so long.

Then the deadbolt turns. The handle slowly drops. The door begins to swing open.

His breath vanishes as she comes into view. Her eyes are wide but so bleak, her skin still too pale, her movements slow and cautious. But she’s fuller now. Thicker. And there’s a well-defined bump in between her hips.

All this time, he’s forced himself not to let it in. Not to allow the reality of the threat against them settle into his being, not to let his fears have any room because that would’ve broken him, and he couldn’t afford it. Those walls crumble at the sight of her, and he drops like a ton of bricks onto the threshold, collapsing to his hands and knees as the four months of terror catch up to him.

He feels her hands grip him, stronger now, but trembling just like his as she pulls him into her embrace. And he wants to hold her, but his arms won’t obey. Wants to kiss her but his body is suddenly so heavy. Somewhere to his right, he hears William ask if it’s over, and he manages to nod. Shortly after, sunlight streams into the apartment as the man has apparently pulled the curtains back. How dearly he must’ve longed to get to do that.

Then the sweetest voice he’s ever heard in all his life, whispers in his ear.

“I love you, Pero.”

She’d promised him she’d say it. When it was over.

“I… I love you… both,” he stammers through the tears, just as he’d promised.

THE END

-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-

Thank you for taking this journey with me!

@pedrostories @harriedandharassed

#pero tovar fanfiction #pero tovar x original female character #pero tovar x ofc #modern!pero #modern!au #the great wall fanfiction #the great wall au #the great wall modern au #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction #sirowsky stories

25 notes · View notes

andipxndy-writes · 2 years ago

Text

meet the writer: aj

(a.k.a. my writeblr intro, done properly)

heya!! i’ve had this blog for a while now, but i realised i haven’t ever actually done a proper intro on here, so here it is!! (also did i want the opportunity to make an aesthetic of myself??? absolutely. image made in canva and portrait on the left is from picrew, all other images were taken from unsplash)

my name is aj (she/her pronouns pls)!! i’m 26, black, and i live in the uk. i graduated from uni 3 years ago and currently work in lab admin, but i’ve been doing creative writing for 10+ years!! i’m currently trying to get back into reading by reading a book a month (i usually share the book i’m reading in the sidebar of my main blog, which i follow back with as this blog is a sideblog: @andipxndy), and i write a variety of fanfiction and original works (both based off my own characters and those i currently/have rp’d with in the past). i also take requests for fanfiction, which you can read about below the cut or in this post (i’ve made some changes which mean the post is not relevant atm)!! but in general i love being asked questions about my WIPs and my characters and basically any characters i write, because i love delving into character thoughts and doing character development (so please send me some!!).

this blog started off as a way for me to share my fanfiction writing, which is how i got into writing in the first place and how i came to love it, but now i’m wanting to expand some more share/talk about some of my original works too!! i write ya sci-fi in my original stuff, but i’m known to drift into romance, action-comedy and crime when it comes to fanfiction works. i’m also over on ao3 as andipxndy.

my main fanfic writing fandoms are abbott elementary and alex rider, just to keep things managable, but i also enjoy watching ncis, criminal minds and lockwood & co., and sometimes dive back into old favourite animes (k-on!! is my current anime obsession). i may be slow to write or respond to stuff but i DO enjoy diving into discussing fandom stuff too!! i also like playing video games like sims 4 (ea is a money grab pass it on) and cities skylines, and enjoy dnd and rping with friends!!

before this intro gets too long, here are my main WIPs:

power play (1st draft completed, left to stew)

the first original wip i planned, the story is intended to be part of a 5-book series about a 20-year-old who accidentally gives himself powers, and ends up drawn into the science underground whilst trying to save people that he may or may not have also accidentally given powers. and all whilst trying to appear completely normal to his mum and get a summer job whilst home from university.

the crossover (still working on 1st draft, is my main/november nano project)

this is an adaptation of an old rp au i had with one of my closest friends, adjusted to have new, original characters despite the same plotline. it follows a 17-year-old girl as she’s accidentally transported into a parallel universe, where her parents aren’t her parents and she doesn’t exist. in an attempt to get home, she ends up crossing paths with the people who are meant to be her family, and finds out that they’re all superheroes. insert drama and shenanigans here.

the rich life: a modern bourgeoise au (working on 1st draft, is my camp nano project)

a passion project that i’m completing for my rp partners, this au is split into a 3-book series following the lives of our characters in the upper class, those who work for them, and eventually their children, going through the drama of their lives and how they try so hard not to have it all end up in the press. that obviously doesn’t work.

fanfiction fics and requests (ongoing but this is technically a wip)

technically counts as a wip as i have a backlog of fics in progress to write and share for requesters (and some ideas i’ve had myself), but these are mainly either alex rider or abbott elementary fanfics that have been sent in via ask. you can see extra info below the cut after the next paragraph. my requests are currently closed, and i’m working through my backlog. the request(s) active for the forseeable future are:

will you be my maybe? - an abbott elementary fanfiction (gregory x janine - injury + fake dating)

anyway, this is all i’ve got for now!! i do take part in things like nanowrimo and camp nanowrimo, so if anyone takes part in those too i look forward to writing alongside you!! other than that, that’s about it!! i’ll be sharing snippets of my work, and maybe eventually you’ll even get aesthetics eventually!! i’ve you’ve read this far, i applaud you, but thank you so much for reading!! i’d love to get to know more writers on here, both inside and outside of fandom spaces, so please feel free to jump at me and send me asks and messages and stuff!!

~ aj xxx

(for more info on fanfiction stuff, read below the cut:)

i’ve been writing fanfiction for over 10 years, and as something so dear to my heart i can’t let it go - it’s helped me to develop my writing and character development skills!! i have, however, grown in the fandoms i write, so please see below for more info:

I WRITE FOR:

alex rider

abbot elementary (more specifically, gregory x janine. i ship only those two. with my whole heart.)

fics getting to know my original characters (oneshots)

(i realise that this is significantly cut down, but i have other projects in mind that require more of my time and can no longer spend as much time on requests!! for this, i apologise!!)

GENRES WRITTEN (not completely restricted):

family/friendship

romance

hurt/comfort

action/adventure

IMPORTANT TO NOTE:

MY REQUESTS ARE NOW CLOSED

all fanfics will be cross-posted to ao3

please give me up to a month to get fics written and posted - if not done within a month, feel free to message me about it [please DO NOT pester me about it] - i work and am also writing original things, so do not always have the time

i preferably write oneshots, though the occasional multi-chap will appear - a fic ends up longer, well, it happens 🤷🏾‍♀️

i am a rambler so you are almost always guaranteed a longer fic

please try not to give me word count limits or specifications on fics - they are discouraging

that being said, any writing requests/prompts fulfilled will most likely be 20k words or less (though they may be longer if the inspiration strikes, don’t hold me to it)

i do not write smut, or any nsfw other than possibly gore/torture/violence. this is a personal preference and i will not change my stance on it

if you have any triggers that you do not want included in the fic, please message me and inform me of this

i have a ko-fi! if you would like to tip/donate to me for any of my writings, check it out here

all fics may or may not include a level of humour/sarcasm - i’m not sorry for this

#writeblr #writeblr intro #writeblr introduction #writing #writer #writers of tumblr #andipxndywrites #creative writing #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #ao3 writer #introduction

20 notes · View notes

charthanry · 2 years ago

Text

Liberating the Talented Mr. Gu

This is my first non-Bad Buddy post so feel free to scroll past. For I’m about to wax poetic (at length) on my latest obsession. Will attempt to keep this relatively spoiler free.

I just finished binge-watching My Liberation Notes and my ladies and my misters, this drama made me feel big, ginormous emotions. Feelings so large that they’re threatening to burst out of me if I don’t let them out.

You know that feeling of consuming media and already missing it even though you’re still in the middle of experiencing it? Like, your heart is subconsciously preparing you for being without it. You want the episodes to both slow down so that you can savor while also wanting to find out what happens next. How seeing the opening credits envelops you like a warm embrace signaling that you’ve arrived home. This was one of those dramas for me. I haven’t felt this way since Bad Buddy ended, over a year ago. And not for nothing, but BBS inspired this entire Tumblr into existence so…. yeah.

This slice-of-life, character-driven, nearly-plotless drama was scripted for introverts like me. It trudges on at a snail’s pace with its audience urging it to hurry along and do something (insert meme of stick person poking at that thing to c’mon and do something interesting already). It puts the slow in slow burn, making all other slow burns feel like you were hit over the head at first impact. It’s sloooooowww. The characters walk slowly, they eat slowly, pour shots of soju slowly. Slow is the name of the game. Why hurry when you have no where else to be? Having said all this, what fueled my obsession was the show’s execution. Because oh boy, did this show execute.

I’ve never watched a drama quite like this one. Where the director lets a scene simply exist and breathe. Where the silence between characters is more revealing than the dialogue itself. The loudest parts in this drama were the quiet moments where the characters aren’t even looking at each other. How brave of the director to let the silence exist rather than fill it just because. The direction here is both evident yet clearly understated.

Bravo also to the incredible cinematography. Dull colors and muted tones set the atmosphere because this drama was an entire MOOD. We have close ups of subway hand hold straps, we see condensation sweating off of glassware, we feel the seasonal changes as the chill of impending winter seeps into the bones of the characters. We hear the gravel underneath plodding feet and the sliding of doors open and shut when a character reaches their destination. Who knew that the sound of two bottles of soju clinking against each other while inside a black plastic bag can be both deafening and most welcoming. How characters come together for a meal and all that can be heard is the scraping of utensils and chewing. The silence is palpable as everyone is just trying to get through a meal while fighting individual battles of brokenness.

This drama is a visual and audio feast.

The scenery is its own, living and breathing entity. We have a countryside village with fields of greens and uneven pathways of dirt that take our characters away and back home again. Rinse and repeat. We have strong gusts of wind rustling through the trees and ruffling the sheets and garments hanging dry on makeshift clotheslines. The sounds of cloyingly humid nights where you can just hear how muggy and hot it is—all of this juxtaposed by the noise and brightness of Seoul, the supposed defining mecca for success in life.

The countless unpacking of delicious metaphors left to viewer interpretation. Underlining that the best stories are still ones that are shown and not told. How a pack of wild, roaming dogs are metaphors for freedom and imprisonment. How the subway serves as the division between the land of the living and those merely surviving. How the buzzing of an incoming text is a long held lifeline.

But more than any of this? This drama gave us the talented Mr. Gu portrayed by the incomparable Son Soek Koo.

I first discovered SSK years ago in the Korean adaptation of Suits where he played David Kim, an extremely intelligent rival lawyer and antagonist for the main lead. Think Moriarty to Sherlock but in the legal field. His guest role arc was only three episodes long but he was so magnetic and spoke perfect, impeccable English (kinda rare in kdrama-land, at least enough so that it's noticeable when it's spoken well). Fluent English that was delivered with such swagger that I quickly became a fan. It didn't hurt that the man knew how to don a fitted suit.

I next watched him in Designated Survivor: 60 Days where he played Cha Young Jin, senior advisor to the designated acting president, a meatier role that saw him on the good side of the fight. And in watching him passionately urge and support President Park's will to run the country, I learned how versatile SSK could be. Magnetic enough to take over the screen while also willingly staying in the background for others to shine.

And then along came Mr. Gu.

Mr. Gu, the neighborhood alcoholic who is shrouded in mystery. A man of very few words, but with an expressive face that conveys tomes of meaning you can’t wait to decipher. He portrays a lonely soul with hints of a dark and dangerous past. He never apologizes for who he is and even tells people: I’m a bad guy, you won’t like me when you find out what kind of person I am. Only to be met with: I don’t care. I accept you entirely.

He’s not a pretty boy by Korean standards, but there’s no denying the charisma and swagger that SSK (and Mr. Gu by portrayal) reeks. Honestly, everything about SSK is pretty average. Average height, average build, average looks—let’s be real. BUT the way he carries himself in this role… he dials the sexiness to a boiling point. Looks are fleeting…but presence? Presence can’t be denied. Both scruffy and clean shaven, Mr. Gu oozes presence.

How does he make dirt and sweat look so damn delectable? How does he look so sexy in a sweat-soaked, oversized shirt that desperately needs laundering and an immediate introduction to an ironing board, while also filling out a cable knit sweater and an overcoat like nobody’s business? How does one look so desirable dressed like a homeless man (actual words a character on the show used to describe Mr. Gu). And damn, can this man lean on things—against a subway railing, beside a car, against a building, walking up a dark, hilly path. Body language that is an entire character, one that tells its own story. The lean while delivering his rare, lopsided smile is a true sight to behold. It’s beautiful.

And why did I watch this show hoping for glimpses of Mr. Gu in Pat’s sleeveless tees and jean short cut offs? Because arms. And calves. And a face so delicious that I yearn to slap the confident smirk right off of it. I could make a home for myself inside his cheek dimple. Dimples that rival only Nanon’s. Excuse me as I find a tissue to wipe my drool.

Make no mistake about it—when Mr. Gu is on the screen it’s impossible for me to look anywhere else. He is that mesmerizing. I grew so attached to his character that when Mr. Gu’s past indeed catches up to him, I fervently watched with bated breath hoping he comes out of the other side unscathed.

This show is not perfect. No show ever is. But for me, it does come close. I give it a resounding 9.5/10. The same rating I gave BBS, coincidentally.

I know I talked at length about SSK and his Mr. Gu, but this show features an ensemble cast of massively talented folks who all excel at micro-expressions. It’s Kim Ji Won’s most mature and impressive role to date. It’s Lee Min Ki in his least Lee Min-Ki-est role. It’s Lee El churning out a sympathetic and realistic character who yearns for love while realizing she's her own obstacle at obtaining it. It’s about the entire Yeom family existing alongside each other without ever truly talking or listening to one another. And still yet, it's in seeing each other for who we are and less of who we want the other to be. It's the idea of escaping and running from a past that we can never truly leave behind.

As much as I’ve touted the show, I understand that it’s not for everyone. The slow pacing can be off putting. There are parts that can be a slog to get through (it never was for me for what that’s worth). Some may even drop it for lack of moving plot, but man…. the journey is so wholly satisfying simply because it’s entirely relatable. These people are my people, my fellow introverts who are trudging through life one day at a time, piecing together small moments of happiness to offset their loneliness. It’s in the measurement of self-worth and finding your place in society. It’s discovering and accepting that you’re lovable.

It all speaks to me so much that after the end credits rolled, I immediately clicked replay on episode one. I never do that. Not even for Bad Buddy did I do that with such immediacy and need.

In an interview, SSK referred to playing Mr. Gu as possibly his role of a lifetime. He urged viewers to pay attention when watching, for it might just change their life. It certainly did mine. I'm jealous of any of you who are still reading that have yet to experience this extraordinary drama. If you decide to give My Liberation Notes a go, consider yourself warned, you might just catch some very big feelings along the way.

#kdrama #netflix #my liberation notes #son seok koo #kim ji won #lee min ki #lee el #an extraordinary watching experience #so much so that I had to blog about it #sorry about that?

30 notes · View notes

m0thisonfire · 2 years ago

Text

Blog Masterlist and Rundown:

Where I reblog memes and art, and post my art and stories too-

—

Ao3 link- I post fanfiction on Tumblr from time to time, but you can find most of my stories on my Ao3 account!

—

Sideblogs:

cr0ssingmoth for all my Levi thirsting and Aot oc tormenting needs.

—

Current hyper fixation: Afk Arena/Journey

—

Tags and characters-

I mostly reblog memes and such, but you can find my art under the ‘m0th draws’ tag! My writing should be under ‘m0thwrites’ if you want to see some drabbles I haven’t posted to Ao3

The characters I mainly write for right now are from Tfa and a bit of Tfp, and that includes ocs and self inserts for them too!

The main s/i is Faux Pas, and is her main tag!

The lesser ones are listed under the name Grey! Tfa or Tfp Grey have their own little niche that pops up here and there, no definitive tag yet-

The two Tranformers that currently occupy my mind 24/7 are Prowl and Starscream, so expect to find *a lot* about them on this blog- and by alot, that includes a ship for them. You can find it under the Ninjastar tag!

The lesser known ocs I talk about once in a blue moon is Devanii Hellfrost and Sybil Jorther. The only lore you’re getting of those two is from tags and obscure Tumblr reblogs, but they’re here too.

Syvanii stories:

Damned if I do, Damned if I don't

—

My current brain worm is my OC Caramele! You can find him under his name and 'the ringmaster' tag!

—

Another tag worth mentioning is the comms tag! Every now and then I get wonderful commissions that definitely need to be checked out! The artists are phenomenal and I do love the pieces they were kind enough to work on!

Status on asks-

Always open. I may take a while to respond due to work and gathering my courage, but I encourage questions and asks. Just expect awkward response in the beginning since, of course, I am not yet used to asks-

Current aus I have I feel are worth mentioning- (more likely to be added)

The Faux Pas au. Everything is the same except for the fact Faux Pas exists in the Tfaverse and is there to solely cause problems and go through problems.

Holoform/Humanformers au. Human Error if it actually happened, but Meltdown, Blackaracnia, and Soundwave are the main causes. All Cybertronians on earth turn into humans and is essentially a huge slice of life sitcom. Focused primarily around Starscream and his redemption arc.

Bounty-22 au. A work in progress, but Cybertronians and humans living in cowboy times. Prowl-centric in a way, him exploring the Wild West looking for vengeance and an artifact while traveling with an outlaw he doesn’t know is an outlaw. (The outlaw is Starscream, the best and worst liar in the west. I just really love Starscream, okay? But never fear, Lockdown plays a huge part in this au too. Because you can’t have cowboys without Lockdown.)

Zombies/Last of Us au. Yes, that’s right. Softbody robots and horrors beyond imagining. Another work in progress, but based around survival and zombies. No, none of the main cast die, I love them too much for that, they deserve their little community during the apocalypse.

Dead Space Au: A newly recruited Tfa Autobot Starscream replaces Isaac Clarke in the events of Dead Space. If you know Dead Space, you know he’s fucked mentally and physically. If you don’t know Dead Space, space zombies and serious fucked up shit. The Thing level horror. Know he is not coming out unscathed.

Tfa Ninjastar Twilight au: Exactly what it sounds like. The werewolves don’t exist here, and Starscream is the human in place of Bella. Takes no shit and runs most of the show because he’s Starscream. Meyer has no power here. I’m highjacking the lore and making all the characters suffer.

#blog masterlist #Enjoy your stay!!! <3

13 notes · View notes

fierykitten2 · 5 days ago

Text

I want to talk about less popular Nintendo series for this post. Not stuff like F-Zero (sorry. I am trying to contribute more to that fandom this year but this doesn’t quite fit my definition. It’s still gonna get mentioned a few times in this post though). I’m talking about the series like Mach Rider and Wave Race that are so unloved they don’t even seem to have fandoms I think that violates one of the rules of the internet. TV Tropes reckons that’s Rule 68. They’re probably violating other rules such as Rule 34 by proxy. I don’t even think there’s a single person in the world whose favourite series/fandom/whatever is one of those series. Everyone came from some other (usually on the unpopular side) Nintendo fandom (Mach Rider and Wave Race specifically have F-Zero as well as Metroid for Mach Rider) and going through they’re tumblr tags is almost 100% nostalgia blogs whose whole point of posting is presumably saying “hey, remember the good old days of [insert console here] where you could play [game]?”. Nothing against those blogs it’s just kinda sad when that’s the closest a fandom gets to fan content. Nintendo is kinda known for throwing unpopular series under the bus so I guess with so little fan content it’s unsurprising they haven’t received a new game since the NES/SNES/N64/GBA/Gamecube (depending on the series) days, ignoring appearances in Smash. The ones from the SNES days don’t even feel like the player character is supposed to be an actual character, just some random guy no one really cares about (specifically thinking about Mach Rider and Excitebike here plus the players in the NES Sports series who unlike the Mach Rider and Excitebiker probably wouldn’t even be included as the players if the series was revived. The guy from Golf was almost certainly meant to be Mario but we’re ignoring that for the time being. I mean I guess they could but they probably wouldn’t look anything like their NES incarnations and I’m sure it would be debated as to whether or not they were actually the same characters). There is some hope they’ll join Smash. I count Ice Climbers and Duck Hunt in this category and they’re in Smash. Speaking of Smash, I’ve seen someone on tumblr call this group (at least in Smash) “abandoned retros” which I think is a great name but I don’t think they were using it the same way I want to use it because (and I get this was during the 19-year hiatus) it was in the context of asking if F-Zero counted in that category (abandoned retros probably is widely used in the Smash fandom to describe less popular series that get games infrequently if at all). Anyway I reckon it wouldn’t be too difficult to revive Mach Rider if a proper in-game story was added while Wave Race has the characters (and its racing aspect is still different enough to F-Zero and Mario Kart (Mach Rider too but I believe the point there isn’t to race others) that it could co-exist with them and would be worth it for the diversity of the racing genre. And I stand by the fact that series like F-Zero and Wave Race that come with new characters for us to fall in love with are more valuable than series re-using characters from other (parts of the) series like Mario Kart)

#still not an F-Zero post but I feel like we need to reflect on the fact that F-Zero is currently less abandoned than Star Fox for a sec #abandoned Nintendo series #mach rider #wave race #excitebike #not gonna tag it as a crossover because while I was trying to focus on Mach Rider and Wave Race I was also including a lot of other stuff #so it would be difficult to tag as a crossover post #nintendo

1 note · View note

lonlonranching · 2 years ago

Text

Rambles of the more fun sort:

So a friend and i wanna make an rpg (who is to say if this will come to life? At the moment, we are having fun just coming up with ideas about it, bouncing them off one anothers brain, excited when we come to the SAME conclusions. Excited when we don’t. It’s been great). We are starting to think about how we’d like to sort out the gameplay and style - and my brain goes to games like earthbound/mother and generally gba and pixel graphic type stuff (partly because that’s what we grew up on, and partly because, apparently, gba style games are shockingly easier to make versus my original idea to code a choose-your-own-adventure text-based rpg through my limited knowledge of python).

We’ve been fleshing the main character out, who works at a used video game store (the ones that give you a nickel for a game and then resell for $150 - and a lot of the story is inspired by personal interest and where I live, and there’s a franchise like that here sooo projecting my own heavy anti-work sentiments and contempt for arbitrage and greed). I like when games give you some say in the character you play, in terms of their interests and idiosyncrasies, but at the same time, the creator is the one who gives that character a soul, or whatever you believe what someone is at their conception. and, that, can then be integral to the story at hand. How to find a balance (i dont have an answer, but it’s a hypothetical i’ll be thinking about elsewhere in the dome drain)

I am someone who is driven by character-based narratives, and more often, drawn to them. i like worldbuilding, actually I love it, but what I am interested in is how characters interact with the world. And, too, how the world then interacts with them. There’s a Butler quote from parable that has always stuck out to me: “all that you touch you change. All that you change changes you.” I’ve never been able to stop thinking about it, so it appears all around me, internally and externally.

on another note, but stay with me if youre here to begin with, because i swear itll all connect! Over the past 4 years, I’ve been writing a story, meaning i didn’t write any of it at all and it lives entirely in my head (and, in the air when I share with friends, on notebook paper when i want to draw out a joke, and, ok, about a million bullet lists on my google drive, so ive written a little - but do we count incohesive thoughts? I think I might have to, because that’s my whole entire life). It's about a kid in college named Newt who wanted more time to play video game but their RA job involved a lot more cryptids native to where I live than expected, and supernatural beings that aren’t really native anywhere (Back where I am in reality, I’m still holding out - just because I haven’t seen a vampire doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. Just because I haven’t knowingly met one, doesn’t mean I haven’t. I’d convince you I’m not unhinged, but I can’t convince myself). The story is also, if not largely, if not entirely, about having relationships that are unconventional.

I didn’t really understand myself while I was working on this little story. And that’s exactly why I created it. I desperately wanted to, and Newt, as well as the other characters, gave me an outlet for self-exploration. I wanted to consider concepts of relationships that felt “unrealistic” compared to what I saw in common practice - people who loved each other in different ways and different forms. And the way I was writing these, dare I call, love stories was through people being totally honest with themselves, and then naturally, with others. that had always been hard for me: honesty. i think sometimes it still can be. Call me a self-insert writer! Because honest to god I am. Every single character I write is a part of me I want to connect with.

Anyway, Newt becomes close to several different characters throughout the story (Gerb, another RA who has this sort of one-sided rivalry with Newt who actually just really wants to be liked by them; Carmilla, a vampire who finds an unconventional interest in Newt that makes her question her own notions of love; and the Sqwonk, which if im the first person telling you about the saddest western pennsylvania crytpid in my beloved hemlock backyards, boy howdy am i honored.) Gerbs and Carmillas relationships with Newt are very near and dear to me because they explore love in non-romantic contexts. the kicker is that i had NO clue i was aromantic at this point in time (heavily when i was still in my undergrad, so 2020 era). i think i confused a lot people describing these relationships, especially Newt and Carmillas, as i was very clear it wasnt exactly romantic, but it was just as, if not more, powerful (i caused so many 404 error blue screens for alloromantic/allosexuals - sorry! i was just as confused). the one thing i knew was that i wanted to experience the types of relationships i was writing, but at the time, i thought they could only exist on paper, in my head, in a reality much different than one with cryptids and leylines and witches and demons (it covers a lot - maybe one day ill get inspired to write about it more on here)

but im learning now that it really isnt that different ! or maybe that it doesnt have to be! that you can pursue and define relationships in a vast amount of ways. the one thing that has been helpful, is finding the way to communication that. i always felt indifferent about language - having remembered learning that language abides by the ways people need it, but i felt languge was only a barrier for me. i didnt know HOW to talk about about the ways in which i felt, to myself or to others. i wasnt sure how to use words to communicate. and while i didnt know how to talk about feelings, i innately knew how to feel feelings, even if they were buried deep. but i convinced myself most of the time my feelings were endlessly wrong. that i could feel the way others felt if i tried hard enough.

nope. not how that works! it just took me 24 years to figure this out.

ANYWAY, me and a friend are trying to make a rpg. me and this person are vastly different in infinite number of ways, but yesterday on a discord call i asked him what he was thinking to do with the main character, he told me he first wanted to enable some sort of attributes to signify gender and sexuality, but after coming out to him, he really wanted to, if i wanted to, make them aro.

I immediately turned my face away from the camera, for fear they saw 24 years worth of emotions surface on my pixeled face, and then i wondered why i still needed to hide that from them. realizing i didnt, i turned back, and told them I’d really like that

im even more excited to play around with this rpg idea now. here are my expectations: to try and make it. I don’t care if it's not good. I don’t care if anyone else plays it but me and my friend (I don’t even know if i fully want people too, beyond those i know either irl or on the internet corners im cozily tucked into). i really want to make a game about an aroace person. I really, really want to make a game about relationships. Relationships with yourself, with others, the world around. how they can change your life. how your life, and who’s in it, can change you.

#ramblings #this is me talking about aromanticism but also wildly obscure mind projects id like to to commit to as real life reality ones so… 😬#thoughts all over the place but thats why i write these

0 notes

casuallyyoa · 2 years ago

Text

HONKAI: STAR RAIL EARLY IMPRESSIONS

youtube

WHAT

Honkai: Star Rail is the newest live service game in the HoYoverse, launching globally 26 April 2023. The game is free to play / free to start, a primarily single-player turn-based action RPG available on mobile, PC and PlayStation consoles. It’s part of the larger Honkai series universe, featuring so-called alternate versions of the main universe’s characters.

We know it’s an alternate Honkai universe because Himeko’s alive.

This early impressions video is brought to you by just under 9 hours worth of gameplay.

SETTINGS

That aside, I like to start with the options and settings. You start off by picking one of four servers, each effectively being an account of their own, broadly speaking. There’s quite a number of little things that Honkai: Star Rail has taken from HoYoverse stablemate, Genshin Impact, so this comes as no surprise.

You don’t get access to the actual settings right away which is somewhat a pet peeve of mine, but I won’t dwell on it too much. The actual options available are the standard swathe of graphics, audio and keybinds on PC, with little to no accessibility options. I suppose considering its overall gameplay, accessibility is less required compared to Genshin, but it would be great for larger developers to start standardizing their availability.

There’s quite the selection of text localization available, while the characters have voices in Chinese, English, Korean and Japanese with separate downloadable voice packs. I got too lazy to get them - even Japanese, despite my self-proclaimed weebery - which… is neither here nor there. Let’s move on.

OPENING HOUR

The first hour basically serves to get you familiar with the basics; of the story and the controls. You get to choose between the Stelle or Caelus forms, the selection of which the game warns cannot be changed later. Shortly after naming them, you become the industry standard mute, amnesiac hero.

Much like Genshin, Star Rail’s protagonist IS voiced at points but otherwise only ‘speaks’ through dialogue options. I honestly think this is a shame; a decision perhaps meant to more easily facilitate self-insertion. Who am I to speculate, though?

PRESENTATION

Honkai: Star Rail is quite the looker of a game. At first glance, it may appear more muted with the dark backdrop of space and the stars, but it’s hardly lacking in colour - especially when it comes to the design of the playable characters; all interacting with each other in a 3D space. They have their respective, cohesive colour palettes and are button cute; important for marketing. Maybe the enemies do seem kind of boring, though. If you’re really nitpicky, NPC tend to not have mouth flaps even when they’re fully voiced, which might just seem weird.

I feel like the UI and menus could be a little more streamlined as there’s quite a few clicks to go through for upgrades and such, which the devs can consider for later.

Haven’t paid too much attention to the music, but you can get records to listen to select tracks on the phonograph you can find later on. The English dub is pretty good. At its quote-unquote, worst, it’s serviceable.

My gripe is mostly the fact that there’s no Ultimate animation skip. Skipping story is one thing, but even with 2x speed in battles, be prepared to memorize the few canned lines and animation sequences whenever characters are off being cool and stuff.

GAMEPLAY

The gameplay section will be split into how you interact with the world, and the systems in relation to the characters.

THE WORLD

I briefly mentioned it being a turn-based, action RPG. The turn-based part should be self-explanatory; characters and enemies act in order, visible on the top left of the screen.

Enemies have a ‘break’ bar which doesn’t make them skip a turn, but does make them vulnerable to damage. You can break enemies by matching character elemental attacks to an enemy’s weakness, where a character without the corresponding advantageous element directly chips away at the enemy HP.

Status effects exist. Debilitating statuses like Freeze will skip turns, while something like Bleed deals damage over time. Unless otherwise stated, damage over time damages shields before HP. Using skills take up skill points, seen as pips on the bottom right, which you gain simply by attacking. Once a character charges up enough Energy for an Ultimate, they can cast it at any point, though the order of when the Ultimate casts does still depend on when they’re input.

Enemies can be seen walking around on the overworld. It’s possible to run around them which alerts them to your presence. You can start the fight with an advantage by hitting them in their elemental weakness, which you can see as you approach. Furthermore, characters have field ‘Techniques’ which can either aid in exploration or for a pre-emptive attack on foes.

The overworld exploration in Honkai: Star Rail is more limited than the open world of Genshin Impact, more akin to connected instances instead of a seamless plane. For one, you can’t jump. There still are destructible objects, chests to open and puzzles scattered around, among other things. You just don’t need to worry about parkour.

Systems gradually unlock as you raise your Trailblazer level from going through the story and assorted missions. There will be daily missions, a Battle Pass, and repeatable ‘rogue-lite’ mode as the ones I consider major gameplay additions. The ‘rogue-lite’, called Simulated Universe, can be repeated weekly for rewards.

An assortment of currencies and quests serve as the busy work to get you more materials, rewards and the like. Conveniences such as repeatable battles, auto battle and item transmutation all exist. The stamina system recovers at 1 point every 6 minutes.

THE CHARACTERS

How about our colourful cast? As you might expect, they do have voicelines and some story you can read about. They could even send you messages which gets you a pittance of premium currency, like Dan Heng’s ‘dad joke’ message.

I wanted to talk about the character upgrades here too, without overloading the previous segment. To wit, we have:

Their base levels and related Ascensions, where you can also get some gacha tickets at certain Ascensions

Trails which look like a skill tree wherein new passives or skill upgrades can levelled up at unlocked nodes

Light Cones which to me are mechanically more similar to Fate/Grand Order’s Craft Essences to Genshin Impact’s weapons

A 4-Relic system which are like Genshin’s Artifacts

Eidolons aka Genshin’s Constellations by another name

These don’t sound like much, and would certainly be very familiar if you’ve already played Genshin. Doubtless you’re going to be spending plenty of time on the grind for these, though.

GACHA

Ah yes, if you’re going to be a free to start game, there’s gotta be a way to monetize. You have the usual packs and monthly pass for premium currency and assorted resources.

The actual gacha rate is pretty abysmal for Honkai: Star Rail, but at the very least, has a similar pity system to Genshin. The ‘discounted’ beginner pool guarantees at least one 5-star character in 50 pulls, so you could have a better start. Or maybe struggle a little with damage if you get Gepard.

The game has the same system where you have different pools for brand new characters and their associated Light Cone, and a permanent pool. Interestingly, after 300 pulls in the permanent pool, you’re able to obtain an ‘extra’ selectable 5-star ONCE.

C6 Qiqi havers could never.

STORY

I don’t want to talk too much about the story for a couple of simple reasons:

I’m not familiar with the Honkai universe lore, so things I’m puzzling about could be answered simply by ‘go check the wiki’

As such, I’m not particularly invested and can’t pick up on references, and am just here for the ride

I feel like the story is fairly slow paced in the past 9 hours or so, presumably to pick up once more elements get introduced.

For the lore hunters, there is a staggering amount of incidental pieces you can find lying around to read, not to mention the trash cans or little secrets you can find by being a dumbass or incredibly persistent person. Whether you enjoy it all, will be personal taste.

CONCLUSION

As an outsider trying out the hottest new game, Honkai: Star Rail is competently made and can certainly be enjoyable. I would think people who have enjoyed HoYoverse’s other titles and or are involved in the Honkai universe in general, would absolutely love this game.

I am merely lukewarm on it as I only have so much time in a day, and another live service game to contend with is something I do not intend to do. As befitting my so-called ‘brand’, I will be a casual here.

By all means, give the game a try and see how much you like it. I am just some guy on the internet with opinions. So go, have fun.

#Honkai: Star Rail #Honkai Impact #First Impressions #CasuallyYoa #Youtube

0 notes

happyduckierevived · 6 months ago

Text

*laughter and shuffling stack of imaginary papers that make up an imaginary essay concerning this subject

Yes, and no. Here is why:

Supernatural is very long. It ran from 2005–2020. The style, fashion, and writing of the earlier-mid seasons are definitely 2000s/early 2010s. So it can be dated or nostalgic depending on how you look at it.

Supernatural is tv. It’s not a film, it’s not a contained limited series story. It is an ongoing thing that has lots of filler episodes (season 7 is kind of joked about as the filler season), different arcs, character development and un—development (for plot reasons), characters that come and go, etc. If you’re looking for a linear story with a satisfying beginning middle and end with little to no filler, Supernatural is not that. It’s got a sort of monster of the week structure that leads into a larger plot, but as the show progresses, the monster of the week and larger plot intersect less and less/often not at all. It’s a fun show, but it is not a full on epic. If you’re fine with that, and can accept that’s it’s a soap opera-esque show but with monsters—you’ll probably like watching most of Supernatural. (Watching a few seasons to finish with a good ending is also great way to enjoy the show.)

How women are written. It gets better in later seasons, but in the beginning it is a lot of one-episode female characters who are objectified and/or fit into tropes. It just feels weird. It’s not appalling or cancelable, considering the time. I don’t exactly remember the earlier parts of Supernatural where this was the most present—so forgive me if my language is wrong or if I am making over generalizations over a few scenes with multiple seasons. I am going off of memory for this, and Supernatural is long. Okay, back to the subject….Not all of the women on Supernatural are written poorly, and there are great characters that are female. A few 1 or 2 episode characters, a few characters who are temporarily in the main group, awesome side characters, a villain or two, etc.

4. The fandom is…interesting. The lines between actors and characters is blurred for some, and this leads to some very choice works. (Not trying to shame anyone—but personally, I can’t unsee some of these things and I really do not agree with them)

Okay partial Spoilers Beyond This Point—they aren’t plot specific, but if you wanted to go into Supernatural completely blind, this is your chance to go do that.

5. Destiel- In season 4, a character named Castiel appears. Yada, yada, yada, the rest of the show, yada, yada, subtle/not so subtle queerness, yada, yada, yada, him and one of the main characters are both queer coded. Based off different factors, it seems that the two characters share romantic feelings for each other. Then, in season 15, we get to that meme where it’s a guy saying “I love you” and then another guy staring at him with text inserted that informs people on tumblr about local events/news. That’s between Castiel and Dean, aka Destiel. Now, what’s important to understand is that Dean does not say it back to Castiel. He says “don’t do this” because Castiel is going to go sacrifice himself to save someone/something/the world, idk, etc. After this confession Castile dies, we never get verbal confirmation that Dean reciprocated those feelings and loved him back (I think. I haven’t gotten here in the show yet but I’m 99.99% sure). Nor do we ever get a kiss or any explicitly romantic things or statements within the show to tell us that they are gay for each other. Now I’m sure you’re wondering why this one queer-bating ship matters, but stay with me here. Destiel is a big part of this fandom. There’s all sorts of things about the Spanish dub (where Dean says I love you back to Cas before sacrifices himself—it was in the script), the actors of Dean and Cas and how they feel about Destiel, the actor for Dean not feeling like “I love you” was the best line for his character to say in that situation, people shipping the actors and characters as one (which is weird because the actors both have wives and children, I’m pretty sure), and probably more. But there are also people who just like this ship and are normal about it. Generally though, it’s a pretty messy part of the fandom. Some people hate Destiel with a burning passion, some people have lives, some people like it or love it as a ship, and others…go off the deep end.

6. Death. I’ll keep this final one short and sweet. Main characters (and sometimes others) die and come back to life all the time in Supernatural. It is joked about in the show, in the fandom, and who knows where else. Death sometimes is a one time thing, but for the main two characters (Dean and Sam—who you meet on the first episode) death is more of a temporary annoyance than an extremely serious, high buildup affair (of course there are exceptions to this, but the amount of time people die and come back in Supernatural is truly not something to be underestimated).

And that’s all I can think of. I personally like Supernatural and Destiel, so that is my bias. I think Supernatural can be something good to have on in the background, watch with a friend, or binge (it has its moments). There’s definitely some weird stuff in and around the show—but I would say most of it is pretty avoidable. There is also a huge fandom full of really talented people who make great art, fan fiction, point out beautiful shots from the show, and more.

Hope this helped!

feel like this is a good question to ask tumblr

but uhhh

is supernatural any good?

#supernatural #spn #rant post #destiel #dean winchester #spanish dub #tv shows

11 notes · View notes

aenariasbookshelf · 2 years ago

Text

Preview - untitled holiday story

In my defense, the entire story is outlined, even though I only have a few thousand words written so far. But it is the right season, and I need an entry for this week’s challenge for @darcylewisbingohq. This preview perfectly fits the ‘returning home prompt’, if I do say so...

title: ...I’ll get back to you on that when I figure it out author: Aenaria rating: this bit is Gen, the whole story is likely to be M/Explicit prompt filled: returning home characters: Darcy Lewis, her family, Steve Rogers, a whole host of other Avengers pairings: Darcy/Steve (this should not be surprising by now) tags/warnings: none for this part, but I’ll update this field as needed link: summary: In which Darcy Lewis returns home for the holidays.

Chapter One - Friday, December 20, 2019

“Yes, Grandma, I swear, I’m coming tomorrow. Yes, I’ll be there by sundown. I’ve already got my train ticket!”

That last statement is a total lie, but Darcy will never tell her grandma that.

She doesn’t have a time management problem, she swears. It’s just that sometimes other things (like helping Jane explore the universe) end up taking priority and she forgets things like buying an Amtrak ticket until she’s at the station, hoping like hell there’s still a seat available and paying through the nose for the one remaining business class ticket on the entire train. But this time? Well, the first night of Hanukkah’s on Sunday. And Christmas is just a few days after that. And everyone under the sun (or at least in the United States) is going to be traveling this weekend.

She’s so screwed.

Maybe she could rent a car and drive? It’s not that long to get to Brooklyn from the Avengers’ Compound, only a few hours. She thinks, at least. She’d have to look at a map.

So, so screwed.

Darcy shoves the latest stack of printed results under one arm, and uses her other shoulder to keep her phone propped by her ear. “Did I what?” she asks, then rolls her eyes when her grandma repeats her question. “No, not yet. I’ll get them something down in Brooklyn...yes, I realize we have all sorts of artsy villages and stores upstate, but I haven’t had time to pick up the perfect trinket for Aunt *insert name here*...why? Because work...look, I’ll text you when I’m on the train tomorrow...Okay, bye Grandma.”

She jabs her thumb down on the little red button with far more force than is needed, and drops the phone into her pocket. The sigh that she lets out is near explosive, and she resists the urge to bang her head against the doorframe to the lab. This really is a minor issue, and Darcy knows she’s making all too big a deal out of something that has a simple solution. But she’s already got that reputation in her family, the one who would be late for her own funeral if she had the chance, of being just that much of a flake because she legitimately forgot about something. And the last thing she wants to do is let down her grandma.

“Okay,” she tells herself, taking a deep breath. “Walk this stuff over to Jane in the main building, then research trains, then research rental cars. You can do this, girl.”

Jane’s lucky in that she and Darcy have a small little lab building to themselves to work out of on the main Avengers’ Compound, so that they can do work at night to their heart’s content and not have to worry about disruptions from busybodies, but there are some days when the main building has the equipment that they need. Also the 24 hour canteen there was a godsend on those days when Darcy had to make sure Jane actually fed her body and not just her brain.

It’s in this main building where Darcy overhears what could possibly be her Hanukkah miracle. It’s a little fuzzy, overheard with one ear as she’s rushing past.

“What time’s your flight at LaGuardia tomorrow? I want to make sure we leave here on time.”

Darcy literally freezes in her tracks, then walks backwards until she’s standing next to Steve and Sam, who have paused in their chatter to watch her bemusedly. “Did I hear you two say you’re heading down to the city tomorrow?” She may be perpetually late, but never let it be said that Darcy doesn’t have balls. Just because Steve may be Captain America doesn’t mean that he’s not a friend of hers (that she has a mad crush on, but she’s not going to think about that right now in her hour of need) that she can’t ask for a favor.

Steve’s eyebrows raise up, and there’s a slight smile on his face. “Yes? I’m giving Sam a ride to the airport.”

“Got room for one more?”

#Darcy Lewis #Steve Rogers #darcy x steve #shieldshock #fic #my fic #mcu #holiday fic #unmitigated fluff

32 notes · View notes

ego-osbourne · 2 years ago

Text

EGO OSBOURNE Reference Sheet

//click for better quality//

[Image Text Rewritten //because tumblr crunch can make this font hard to read//]

EGO OSBOURNE

The SUPEREGO | The flaming mind - morality. The EGO is not present.

The ID | The metal body - instinct. The EGO is not present.

Homespace | A place to rest, reflect on past lives, and find new worlds. Infinite and immortal.

New Worlds | Usually represented as existing media - places of adventure and soul-searching. EGO OSBOURNE inserts themself into these worlds to fulfill a purpose, find a purpose, or simply to create a new life. Whatever becomes of them in this world is up to the discretion of the EGO and their decisions.

The EGO | Alter egos, new lives, personas - the whole. Both the SUPEREGO and the ID are present.

Alter Egos have no memory of Homespace or their pasts. They usually manifest as adult figures and age from then-on. The ID adapts to form into existing materials in the new world, and the SUPEREGO adapts to understand known languages and customs of the new world. Alter Egos are not immortal, and upon death they will return to Homespace as the SUPEREGO and ID.

EXAMPLES: Ego/Moro (Skyrim), O.S./Oz (Bloodborne)

An infinite number of EGOs can/have existed, though only one at a time.

[Extra Info //this might get existential//]

Oh man, where to start. This idea has festered and been reformed many a-time. You can probably find an old reference sheet or two and some old designs of my persona that allude to this idea but didn’t quite hit the mark. I think this is pretty damn close to where I want to be at with my persona :)

The concept draws inspiration from Freud’s idea of the mind being split into three parts: the ID, superego, and ego. The ID acts with primitive, instinctual desires, the superego acts with morality and empathy, and the ego acts as a mediator to balance both out. The ID and superego can’t operate successfully—or at all—without the ego. EGO OSBOURNE is the ID and the SUPEREGO, but not the EGO. They exist in Homespace, a place outside all worlds and reality and acts as nothing but a gateway to other, realer worlds (represented as media like video games, books, social media, etc.). EGO OSBOURNE is essentially non-existent and non-functional until they put themself out into a new world, creating an Alter Ego (AKA: EGO) in the process. This Alter Ego combines all three aspects of the mind (ID, SUPEREGO, and EGO) and creates a whole person. A character. A persona.

The main EGO that I’ve shown on my blog as been my Dovahkiin, aptly named Ego (I’ll reveal why they take the same name in their ref sheet). Another is Oz, from Bloodborne, though I haven’t developed them as much here because I’ve been on a bit of Skyrim craze right now. Video games are the easiest form of media that Alter Egos can be created out of because many of them deal with creating your own character and building their story. However, not all of them work like TES or FromSoftware games, because not all video games give you a blank slate to work with when playing. Games like Portal, Horizon, etc. already have you play as characters existing in-universe with their own pasts and histories (Chel and Aloy, respectively). Even something like Outer Wilds would be difficult to achieve because, even though the playable character is nameless and vague, they still have their own implied history with their world. Therefore, I’m not going to replace an existing character with an EGO. Instead, an Alter Ego can be placed in those universes as an extra side character, like an NPC to the main character. This is also how an EGO would be treated in most other things like books, movies, etc., where a side-character has to be made instead of replacing the main character/narrator.

As for appearing online, on social media, with real people behind the screens, I’m essentially just a separate Ego Osbourne. The EGO projections are their own characters with their own lore tying back to the SUPEREGO and ID, while I am more of a narrative stand-in for the SUPEREGO and ID. I’m just the messenger who takes on the same name. I have all the information. I’m just Ego Osbourne as EGO OSBOURNE.

Sort of confusing, I realize, but hey that’s what I’ve got. This is sort of just a creative, backwards way to show how I (the person) have interacted with some great media and how I think it’s shaped me as a storywriter, creator, and just a person in general. I know a lot of people will think its dorky to think that a video game has changed a person significantly, but hey, I’m not gonna deny what’s happened to me. Hell, this is probably just a cheeky way for me to hide the fact that I’m self-inserting into my favorite medias (that’s sort of been the joke but I promise I’m actually trying to tell a narrative and make the characters unique and interesting and not just me ; this is more experimental than anything but I’m enjoying the ride so far, hope you are too) (not that there’s anything inherently wrong with self-inserts, I just have a different goal in mind).

Anywho, hope this cleared some things up and gave you some info to play around with. For those of you who were wondering why (Skyrim) Ego’s skeleton is made of metal, it’s because they’re an Alter Ego, a projection of EGO OSBOURNE who has the same core (skeleton) and mind, but without the memories. Ego’s skeleton is made of dwarven metal simply because that’s the closest thing that the ID’s would be made of. I’ll reiterate this and try to make it more clear in their ref once that gets finished.

PLEASE ask questions if you have them, 1. I’d love to answer them and 2. I want to clear up any confusion if I can. Okay that’s it wooooooooooooooo

#my art #ego osbourne #superego #id #homespace #ego #oz #persona #alter egos

23 notes · View notes

justathoughtfulangel · 3 years ago

Text

His Other Half ~ Colors, Chapter 7 (Kai Parker Fanfiction)

Hello, my dears :) Welcome to Chapter 7 of Colors, my Kai Parker Soulmate AU Fanfiction. This is NOT meant to be read as a standalone piece. Events of the story and even the universe it is set in vary greatly from the original show. If you haven’t yet, please read the Details post and previous chapters linked on this masterlist.

*not my gif

Word Count: 1,977

Pairing: CovenLeader!Kai X witch!Reader (soulmates)

I don’t like writing with Y/N in the place of character names, but this IS a reader insert fanfiction. I use Rosalie Wilson as a placeholder. Use Rose/Rosalie as a substitution for Y/N.

Warnings: kidnapping, torture, violence, hallucination, and trauma-induced silence. For all intents and purposes, this chapter may only be suited for mature audiences.

Read a short recap + the new chapter after the break :)

Chapter 6 Recap:

When Kai’s phone rang, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Grasping it quickly, he stared at the caller ID in disbelief. “Rosalie?! Where have you been? I’ve been going out of my mind worrying about you and- just get home, please!” He held the phone so tightly he was afraid he might break it. Then, something made his grip slacken. Every part of him sank, and despite the decades past, his body reignited the memories of trauma and fear.

The voice on the other end did not belong to Rosalie.

“Hello, Malachai.”

The voice on the other end belonged to his father.

Everything in Kai turned to stone. His very soul hardened, preparing to fight the man who tortured him to the end of his days. “Father.”

“Mm, I see you’re not very happy to hear from me. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to speaking to you again, either Malachai. But after seven missed calls, I figured I’d return the favor. Your soulmate’s a very sweet girl. It would be a shame if anything happened to her, wouldn’t it?” Joshua Parker’s voice was unnervingly even. Perhaps, after losing leadership of the Coven, he’d finally lost his mind.

“Leave her out of this.” With the phone pressed to his ear, Kai tore through their apartment, throwing random things in a bag and preparing to fly to Portland tonight. “This is between you and me.” More than anything, Kai was furious. Hadn’t his father destroyed enough of his life? When things were finally going his way, the great Coven Leader showed up to wreck any ounce of Kai’s happiness once more.

“You’re right. It is between you and me… but it’s also between her and me. She’s the key to your happiness, and if I can’t get rid of you, I’ll get rid of her. You called her seven times tonight. Whether I let her live for seven weeks, seven days, or seven hours is up to you.” The line deadened, then, and Kai threw the phone across the room. Tearing at the roots of his hair in desperation, he let out a despondent scream.

Kai had never felt more helpless or powerless. She wouldn’t be in Portland; his father was far too conniving to keep her somewhere he’d track them down. He was at a complete loss, and it was all his fault. A soulmate’s job is to protect his other half above all, and Malachai had failed.

~~~

Seven hours later, Rosalie groaned as she woke. Her body was bound to a chair with an invisible rope. The more she struggled to get out of it, the more it tightened – like a boa constricting its prey. “Oh, you’re awake.” She closed her eyes, hoping to burn the rope away. “I wouldn’t try anything if I were you. I’ve injected you with something which stalls your magic. Trying to use it will only cause you more pain, and I’d rather not hurt you unless I have to.” Her senses came to, and she glared at her captor. “Who are you, and what do you want?”

“Ah, I’m Malachai’s father. I would say I’m pleased to meet you, but that would simply not be true. I’m just hoping to lure the monster back here so I can kill him, and you are free to go.” Rosalie lurched against her bindings, desperate to hurt the man who’d tormented Kai for so many years. “He’s no monster. You are.”

There was a heavy silence for a few beats. “Do you have any idea what it feels like to come home and find four of your children dead? Another one impaled, and two running for their lives. Do you think that image has ever left my mind?” Rosalie swallowed hard. That was pain she couldn’t imagine, but what Kai went through was so much worse.

“He may have pulled the trigger, but you handed him the gun. Is it easier for you to blame the son you failed and rejected for something he couldn’t control?” Joshua Parker was a snake whose venom didn’t kill you immediately. It seeped into your every cell, luring you into false security before it stole every ounce of sanity over years and years of suffering. “You know nothing about who my son truly is. How could you care about anyone who murdered their family in cold blood?”

How was locking him in a prison for two decades any better? The memories wreaked havoc on their minds and hearts, but Malachai’s father was incapable of looking past the action. So be it. If he believed Kai to be a monster, he’d see her the same way. “Because I murdered my family, too. I suppose we really are meant for each other.”

His daughter said similar words to her in pure seething weeks ago. Joshua blanched, and Rosalie almost laughed. She hated herself for what she did, and Kai had just barely begun forgiving himself. Joshua Parker had none of her sympathies.

~~~

Miles away, Kai laid waste to their apartment. It had been one week, and he had no clue where to look for Rosalie. He wanted to leave and tear the world apart from end to end, but his father was hiding her far too cleverly. The Mystic Falls gang wasn’t sparing any effort to find her, and in their care for Rosalie, they managed to set aside their differences against Kai. He was so unbelievably helpless.

Without warning, then, Kai keeled over as if someone had kicked him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He felt a rusted knife dig into his forearm and could barely muffle his scream. A line of maroon seeped into the sleeve of his shirt, but he saw no weapon in sight.

He could barely hear the phone over the ringing in his ears but could make out the caller ID in his blurred vision. “Rosalie?” His voice was weak, and he knew he wouldn’t hear her voice on the other end. Still, he hoped for it. He wanted to see her. He needed to know she was okay. “How are you feeling, Malachai? You’re hurting, I presume. You see, I’ve put a little spell on your soulmate. Everything I do to hurt her, you will feel. Come find her, Malachai. Come find me.”

Rosalie’s temper had made her treatment as a captive so much worse. Time had lost all meaning. Rose knew not if it was night or daylight – if she had been here a few days or weeks. She had been kicked, slapped, punched, and even cut.

But she would never give him what they wanted. They wanted her to break, to beg for mercy. Rosalie was stronger than that. She finally had someone to return to, someone who meant more to her than anything. More than her own life.

A woman entered the room, carrying a glass of water. Rose did not trust the woman, but she could not ignore her dire thirst. Caring not if the water was poisoned, Rose drank it as the woman allowed, controlling the speed so that she would not make herself sick.

The woman said nothing else but a murmured apology as she left. Rose did not see her again, but the blue eyes on her reminded her of Kai. She prayed he was alright, that he wasn’t planning on harming himself for her sake. She was his other half, and he was hers. She could take all the pain in the world but wanted nothing to hurt him ever again.

~~~

“Rose? Rosalie?” Something was gently shaking her. Mercifully – or perhaps to let Rose feel the extent of her injuries – she was no longer bound to the chair. She lay on the freezing stone floor, the cold seeping into her bones.

Her eyes blinked open, barely widening to slits over their swelling. They met Kai’s blue eyes. He stared at her intently, his irises teeming with worry. “Kai?” Her voice wasn’t any louder than a whisper. “Oh, Rosalie… I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to get hurt because of me.” She tried to sit up, to touch him, but when her hand should have reached Kai’s loving face, it vanished.

Night after night, she saw Kai near her. He was always here to save her, always full of remorseful apologies. Then, he was gone. It was a new way his father liked to torture Rosalie: dangle hope in front of her before it was wrenched away again and again…

~~~

Twenty-three days later, Kai stood over an unconscious Joshua Parker. He saw his mother standing in a corner, looking ashamed and failing to meet his eyes. It was amusing. She was never ashamed to call him an abomination along with their entire family before. “Where is she?” She silently pointed through a door, and when Kai walked through it, he nearly collapsed to his knees.

He'd never seen anyone look so battered and bruised, not even himself. “Rosalie?” He could tell she heard him, but she wouldn’t respond. “Oh baby, I’m so, so sorry.” His eyes welled up with tears when she failed to respond once again. What did he do to her? She was a shell, a lifeless mannequin with a beating heart. “I’m here to take you home, Rose.”

“No, you’re not. Just leave me alone.” She covered her face with her hands, and it took every ounce of Kai’s self-control to not gasp in horror at the black and blue tainting her body. “Of course I am, Rosalie. I’m going to take you with me, and I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s me. I’m here.”

“No. You’re always really here… until you aren’t.”

“She won’t believe you, Malachai.” Joshua Parker sauntered into the room once more, and Kai straightened up. He stood in front of Rosalie protectively, glaring at the man who meant less than nothing to him. “Take one step further, and I won’t hesitate to kill you.” His jaw snapped shut, and his teeth ground together. How dare he hurt her? How dare he break Rosalie as he’d broken him? “How could someone like you lead our coven? You are nothing, just a parasite who sucks the magic from others. You are not fit to be Coven Leader, and you won’t be leaving here one.”

That’s what this was about. The Coven always came first. Kai closed his eyes. His hands clenched into fists, and his fingernails dug into his palm. He’d bloodied his own skin, and when Kai’s eyes opened again, he spoke with a vindication he’d never known before. “I relinquish my control over the Gemini Coven. It’s yours. Keep your Coven and leave us alone.”

Rosalie had returned home physically, but a great part of her was still lost. She refused to speak to anyone, not believing she was truly safe. Kai was grateful to have her back more than anything. He’d given up what he’d desired most within a blink of an eye, and he didn’t care. Rosalie meant so much more than it all. Being Coven Leader meant nothing to him, now. He still had his magic, as he couldn’t undo his merge with Lucas, but he no longer felt a connection to the Gemini Coven. It was for the best. They were never truly his Coven, never truly his family.

Rose was his family, and it broke him every time she refused to answer him. She hadn’t spoken a single word, but it seems she trusted him enough to let him care for her. One night, when Kai believed Rosalie to be asleep, he sat beside her. She didn’t want him sleeping beside her anymore, and that was perfectly fine. Kai would do whatever she needed to believe he was real, and she was safe. He did his best to not stare at the healing bruises, but it was fruitless. He’d blame himself for this forever. Closing his eyes and pressing a very brief kiss to her temple, he whispered to her in the dark. He hoped with every fiber of his being she’d hear this somehow, that it would meld into her subconscious and revive her once again. “I love you, Rosalie.”

Kai believed her to still be sound asleep; he wasn’t expecting her to grab his wrist with a weak grip. Her voice, nearly absent after not being used for weeks, barely reached his ears. “Stay. Please. I… I love you, too.”

~~~

Okay, this chapter was a roller coaster to write. Definitely not as cohesive as my usual works, but I honestly hate writing anything with Joshua Parker in it. I hope it was an enjoyable continuation of the story, nonetheless :)

Please feel free to send any thoughts/comments/constructive criticisms my way. I always welcome them!

Chapter 8 is posted! Read it here.

If you’d like to be added to the taglist for this story and/or for my other Kai Parker pieces, please send me a message or leave a comment on this post!

Until next time, JustAThoughtfulAngel <3

Taglist: @socio-kai-path1972, @bluelicious, @genevivetaylor, @prettybitchfatwitch, @southernbell91, @rootbeerfaygo

81 notes · View notes