#there will be no more secretaries!

[dick-meister]

@timetoprey Replied; “Can I baby sit the office ??!!”

"Uhhhh let me think!"

"NO!"

[rainbow-femme]

I think it would be really funny if you could get Wyll out of his pact by having Withers reclass him

Mizora over here pissed off because she didn’t anticipate Wyll being friends with the god of paperwork who would get him out of his devil contract for 100 gold, meanwhile he’s punching trees in half because he’s a monk now and giggling the whole time

[yuwuta]

satoru is the friend that always upstages your boyfriend, but he’s so good to you that your boyfriend can’t really complain without coming across as the asshole in the equation. your boyfriend sends you flowers after your promotion, but satoru sends an arrangement of roses in the shape of your favorite animal. your boyfriend suggests going out to dinner for your birthday and gets you the piece of jewelry you’ve been eyeing as a present, but satoru’s the one who books the michelin-star restaurant and surprises you with a $10k handbag. you car breaks down and your boyfriend offers to pick you up/drop you off at work for the week, but satoru steps in a loans you his car and then tells you can keep it. and when your boyfriend does get the balls to confront satoru, he’s awfully relaxed, very calm as he explains that you’re his best friend in the whole world, so he just wants to treat you right. no harm in that, right? 

[kettlefire]

Prepare for the unexpected. (DPxDC)

Everyone knew about the reign of Pariah Dark. Even those who did not dabble in those realms have heard the tale of the tyrant. A power-hungry man who ruled over the dead with an iron fist.

Following the rise of Pariah Dark, his realm had been effectively cut off from communication. Many mystics and magic users knew better than to open the door of nightmares that could arise if Pariah Dark's reach went further than his own realm.

Except, the universe had plans to bring the realm of the dead back into the cards.

A new opponent, one that had all of Earth's heroes scrambling for options. A being with powers of a god over weather, destruction was on the horizon. A world ending threat.

It's the only reason the Justice League was doing this. In a deep bunker, far from close civilization as a precaution, the heroes looked on with grim expressions.

The world was already being threatened. It would be destroyed regardless of what the league did. So it only made sense to make the last ditch effort. To summon someone strong enough to defeat the threat.

No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to be the one to pull the realm of the dead back to the living. The consequences were untold if this succeeded. If Pariah Dark was freed and defeated the threat, whose to say he won't want control?

That was a problem for later. For the aftermath. For now, the league could only watch on with bated breath as Constantine completely the summon ritual.

They watched on as the shadows in the room seemed to darken and grow. As the sigil sputtered to life with a glow that was growing increasingly brighter. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, the temperature began to drop with eaching ticking second.

And then it was all gone.

The room stood perfectly still. Just as it had been moments before. Nothing changed. No giant king standing before them, no sign that the ritual worked.

The room stood deadly still for another beat before the murmurs started. The team trying to make sense of the situation, figure out what went wrong.

Constantine swore up and down that this was the correct ritual, taking offense that they would even think the problem was on his end. It only made it better when it finally happened.

A loud sound ripped through the room, pulling everyone's attention back to the summoning circle. Just in time to see a tear appear in the space above the circle.

A thin tear that ran the length of eight feet. The fabric of the dimension seems to curl at the edges, pulling back to reveal a deep glowing swirl of greens. A dark gloved hand reached through, fingers curling around the edge of the tear, stretching it even further.

A portal. The ritual had worked, but there had been a delay. A delay that had every hero nerves on edge. Each team member tensed, weapons at the ready as they watched the being stretch the portal to the right size.

Then, a foot stepped out with a heavy thud. A dark boot that looked otherworldly despite its similarity to mortal clothing. A deep black that seemed never-ending. A second foot quickly followed before a full body emerged from the portal.

Not many people in the room have ever seen Pariah Dark, let alone know what to expect. Based on what Constantine and Zatara had said, this wasn't Pariah Dark.

A man had stepped out of the portal, standing at almost seven feet tall, and built like a brick house. One glance at the glowing white hair, deadly red eyes, and shard teeth was enough to know this being was not to be messed with.

But there was no giant show of armor or royal garbs. There is no large crown at the top of his head or jewelry from the infinite realms laced around his neck.

Instead, the man stood before them in combat boots, worn-in ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a spiked leather jacket. Despite his almost normal clothing choice, the man's jacket seemed to be a never-ending depth of the dark night sky. If one was to look closely enough, the cosmos could almost be made out in the sea of darkness.

None of that would have prepared them for when the man spoke. His tone sounded more bored than anything as he took a step forward.

"Oh, so now you need the help of the dead." The man had spoken, running a hand through his hair. When Batman took a step forward to speak, the man raised a hand. Immediately commanding silence in the single gesture. "I'm on babysitting duty and have yet to have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back."

Just like that, both the man and portal vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a group of stunned heroes. Not only was the man not Pariah Dark, but he was also supposedly babysitting.

"Did that just-"

The Flash had been the first voice to speak up, his eyes trained on where the man had once stood. Except he had barely made it through the first few words before the man was suddenly back.

The man that now had a child hanging off his shoulders and another teen being held up by his scruff. Unlike the man, these kids looked human.

Too human for Bruce's liking. The dark black hair and bright blue eyes had every heroes eyes flickering to Batman for just the briefest moment.

"This isn't fair! I'm not even the king. Why do I have to be here!" The teenager had been complaining the moment the man had reappeared. Arms crossed tight over his chest and seemingly used to being held dangling. "Besides, who brings kids to a show down! Wait til I tell mom about this."

"Aw, come on, Danny. This is gonna be fun!!" The younger girl seemed in much better spirits than the teen, Danny. She had climbed up the large man, sitting on his shoulders and resting her arms on the mess of glowing hair. "It's like take your kids to work day! Ooo, Dan! Can we fight too!?"

Unlike the two kids, the man looked purely exhausted and annoyed. The man, Dan, dropped Danny like a sack of potatoes as he took a long drink from the travel cup in his hand.

It didn't take a genius to recognize the look of an exhausted parent in Dan's expression. A look many of the league members were well acquainted to. A look that even had Batman grimacing with sympathy.

"Can it, little shits. You two were grounded, remember." Dan had growled at the kids before shifting his focus back on the team of heroes before them. His glowing eyes set in a deadly glare. "Pariah Dark isn't coming, and he never will. He's been dethroned and banished. We're the best you've got."

A summoning that started with a group of on edge and scared heroes looking for the ghost king, ended in a way no one expected.

No one was even sure if it made any sense. They weren't sure if they should feel hopeful or in despair.

Because truly, what was a ghostly man with two seemingly human children against a godlike foe with the control over the weather?

The unspoken question of power and ability seemed to vanish following Dan downing the metal travel cup of coffee, and crushing it in his fist.

He tossed it to the side, straighting up his posture as he looked over the heroes. Dan might not be a hero, but he's been playing family for too long.

An almost feral, bloodhungry grin spread across the man's face, sharp fangs on full display. The look made the man suddenly look even less human. He looked closer to a demon from the pits of hell rather than the exhausted parent he looked just a few seconds ago.

"Point me in the direction of this bastard. It's been too long since I let loose and had some fun."

[boyjehanne]

tempting, malcolm t. liepke / secretary (2002), dir. steven shainberg

[noctilia]

Everyone say hi to my wife.

Did some traditional art with @salt-and-bramble <3

I need to push the designs more i get too bogged down in trying to copy the references.

[canisalbus]

What kind of clothes would Vasco wear after Machete's death? He tends to wear bright and warm colors, and I was wondering if he would start wearing dark and cool colors to reflect his inner state

I also had thought that he might start to veer towards more somber shades. In reality, late 16th century fashion was dominated by dark colors, if you look at portraits from late renaissance/early baroque eras you quickly notice that pitch black was the most fashionable color (compare that to early and high renaissance fashion from 1400 to 1550 which was visibly more vibrant and colorful). I might be bending the timeline a little bit by having him dress in vivid blues with gold accents, but it's his signature style and I think it mirrors his luminous, free-spirited and approachable personality well. After Machete's death he might've experienced a period where jewel tones had lost their luster to him.

[ohmygraves]

it's your first day on your new job and you're really struggling.

of course, you've been told what to expect. above average pay for entry level, simple secretary/assistant job, and yet there's a lot of things to deal with since the company deals with government and the military.

right, you're working for shadow company, as phillip graves' assistant.

his old assistant quit after a few years, and you applied. she warned you that he is strict, has a high standard and everything must be perfect. no mistake. and lots of secret you have to keep since all the documents are both sensitive to the company but also the government itself.

it's a high risk, high reward desk job that you're definitely not used to.

honestly, that terrifies you. what would he do if you make a mistake? shoot you in the backyard?

you hope not. you tried your best to make as little mistakes as you could as you try to get a handle on the job, learning as much as you could from his previous assistant. but of course, your efforts could only go so far.

on your first day after the assistant's last day, not only that you got hit on by the mercenaries around the office left and right, you made lots of mistakes and ended up spilling coffee on both your boss and his super important tablet that holds all the important files. the coffee stained his baby blue shirt and jeans.

of course, he yelled at you. of course, you tried to hold back your tears. of course, you brought him a change of clothes and he told you to go get it cleaned immediately.

this feels so much worse than your previous job where you deal with border regulations.

thankfully, the tablet was okay. and you ended up cleaning his clothes by hand in the bathroom since you were free, so you returned it the next day. his clothes smelling nice, stain free, and no wrinkles.

surprisingly, graves thanked you, apologizing for the way he yelled at you. he also asked if you're holding up okay after being left to do everything by yourself.

you told him that aside from getting hit on by a few of his men, you're getting the hang of everything. you kept notes and all, you can always go through his routine and schedule if you forget. he told you to go out and get some coffee for him (since he wanted some from the coffee shop outside of the office, for some reason), and told you that you can get something too, on him. you agreed, leaving the office.

you didn't know that he decided to "set things straight" with his men that they can't flirt with his new assistant. you're off limits. for him only.

[nerdetiquette]

I don’t think Juno is one to open a halfway house or anything like that, but I get this feeling that his office will become something like that after the finale.

Like all the kids and young adults in new town (or anywhere else honestly) who need help and places to stay and have lives to rebuild all coming to his office at odd hours of the night only for Juno to find them passed out in front of door, let them in, and give them a guide on how to reset their life.

He has regular students coming in after school for help on how to get money and he helps them with jobs and scholarships and little tips he’d learned. There are people he only sees once and people he’s seen three or five times before but he still helps them because they’re trying.

It starts so slow at first, but eventually there’s as many kids as cases and he has to hire another secretary to help keep the kids organized and work out the logistics. Even though he does that, he still talks to the kids by himself, every one of them, and Detective Steel becomes a common name in new town if you need help, investigative or getting your life on track.

[triluvial]

Feyd proposes to Reader. She's not interested. He's hot but she won't last a year on Giedi Prime; both Reader and her parents have legitimate concerns about her safety.

However, when Feyd wins the one-on-one fight with Paul, the Emperor grants him one boon. Even with his older brother glaring at him from the sidelines there's only one thing he wants.

The Emperor now has a very uncomfortable conversation to have with your family.

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Source: @/nellyangyang Twitter

(The above fan kindly translated the whole section of the GMMLV x THK)

09/08/2024

[sixteenthtry]

I need all four to stab me in the kidney and twist and I mean this in the horniest most sexual way you can think of

[yuwuta]

"there could be two beds and they will still only one bed trope their way into your heart somehow" exactly! gojo doesn't know what personal space means at aaaaaaall

satoru wouldn’t know the definition of personal space if it smacked him in the forehead, he needs to be close all the time always. 

the “actually, there are two beds” trope with him is so funny esp in a f2l setting because for every night of your trip, he finds some excuse to be in your bed instead of his. actually, he would give up rooming by himself on a group trip if it meant he got to share a room with you, because he’d find a way to share a bed with you. 

the first night, he dumps his entire suitcase on his bed, then showers, and you’re asleep by the time he comes back. and now he’s clean and moisturized and he wants to go to bed and oh no! all his stuff is still on his bed! guess he’ll have to share with you for tonight 😇 

the second and third nights he fakes having a nightmare to crawl into your embrace, and then feeling sick so you’ll coddle him to sleep. 

the fourth night, he showers first and falls asleep on your bed instead of his. you’re the respectful one who takes his bed instead, but ofc he wakes up once you’ve fallen asleep to slide in next to you, and when you groggy and confused he just hushes you back to sleep with a cheeky, “you were in my bed, don’t worry about it.” 

the fifth night, he turns the AC all the way up and says you “looked cold” so he “came to cuddle you” while you were asleep. 

he could find an excuse for every single night as long as you share a room together, but the moment you invite him in, ask him, “satoru, do you wanna share?” his brain short circuits and his face goes all red and you offering does bad bad bad things to him and now he actually has to sleep in his own bed because this is gonna keep him up all night

[fauvester]

xuejiao and his secretary/attack dog/fiancee/2nd cousin

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

Sun-jae has entered the Kdrama Male Leads Club of Looking Up What it Means to Have Feelings on the Internet

[jimmyspades]

SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE (1989)