#there were so many people and we were silently judging the entire time <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[forestslut]

we’re adorable! there! i said it!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for kicking someone from my server and not explaining why?

(emojis so I can find later: 🪨🪨🪨)

[This happened a few years ago, but I’ll write the ages as they were at the time.]

I (14M) made a server for a fandom I was in. It was a small fandom (I was mutuals with every single fan on tumblr) so I thought it’d be nice to have a place we can all talk other than the tumblr dashboard. This was also not my first server — I had 2 or 3 years of experience running them (having run a server with 100ish members a year or two beforehand) so I was fully confident in my ability to run a server with less than 20 people, especially since everyone knew each other and was friends already.

Now, there was this person in the server, we’ll call her B (16F). I wasn’t super close with her, but ofc I was friends with her through the fandom. We didn’t talk much — the only time I can recall us speaking outside of discord was to send fandom art requests to each other. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with her coming in, but as she spoke more in my server, I started to question whether she was somebody I wanted hanging around.

I won’t go into full depth of things she said or did (both for privacy’s sake and to keep things brief), but I’ll explain my biggest reasons for kicking her.

First, she vented a lot, which typically I wouldn’t judge, but I really didn’t want a fandom server associated with so much negativity — and not only that, but the way she vented was very… I mean, we would be telling her things she did wrong in general channels, and then she would go to the vent channel and say things like “I’m sorry I’m so stupid and such a bad person I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.” and then we’d (well, everybody else — I don’t play these games with people) all have to console her. Not only that, but she’d vent about shit like — “I’m such a bad person because I’m cis. I’m sorry for being cis.” In a server full of trans people.

Second was her ableism towards autistic people, in a server also full of autistic people (This is honestly the biggest thing I had against her). Since most of us were autistic, we headcanoned most (if not all) of the characters in the series as autistic, usually with little basis in canon. One person specifically said “I think X character is autistic” and most people agreed, until she came along and said “No, they’re too normal.” We were all kind of like “???” until somebody said “Autistic people are normal” and she said “No, they’re all learning disabled” and some other stuff I don’t remember off the top of my head. (Obviously nothing wrong with having learning disabilities and many autistic people do have them etc, it’s just the way she went about saying what she said — and also disagreeing with a harmless headcanon because a character was too “normal” to be autistic). Again, most of us are autistic and were offended by what she said.

These were the two biggest contributors as to why I kicked her from my server — there were more (usually smaller) things she did that made people uncomfortable or pissed me off, but again, I’m not going to mention everything.

So, I silently kicked her, not wanting to cause too much drama, but also fed up with her behavior. I think I also softblocked her on tumblr, not wanting us to be mutuals or friends anymore but also not seeing a block as necessary (I didn’t mind if she saw my fandom posts in the tag, for example). However, she ended up following me back and sent me an ask asking why she was kicked from the server. I believe I told her “I don’t owe you an explanation, I just didn’t want you there anymore”. I didn’t want to say “you did this, this, and this” and just have her say “I didn’t do that/That wasn’t a big deal” and turn it into an entire argument, you know? I also just didn’t want to talk to her at all. So after answering, I softblocked her again and she sent me a long rant calling me a bitch, to which I simply hardblocked her.

I’m pretty sure I was justified in kicking her from my server, but I’m not sure if I’m justified in not telling her why — I understand being confused and demanding an answer but I also know she’d been told off multiple times — and I still don’t think she’s owed a response. Maybe if we were closer friends, I would have explained why. But I don’t know. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[madam-whim]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged for my first wip wednesday by the lovely @illumiera, thank you for the tag! <3 I will share a tiny bit of my Oblivion fic that I am currently working on. It's not currently posted anywhere because I rarely trust myself to finish a fic, but! Here's the first time Martin meets my slightly off HoK, Arri.

As it turned out, she wasn’t injured, she was alone, and she seemed very angry. Judging by the two dead scamps at her feet, the two daggers she carried and the bow she had strapped to her back, she knew how to hold her own in a fight. “Still alive, I see,” she said, her eyes roaming over the people staring at her. “Just barely,” Tierra replied. “Come inside, we don’t know how many of those things are still lurking around here.” The woman nodded and stepped inside the chapel so that Berich could close the door behind her. Had she not had her weapons with her, Martin wouldn’t have taken her for someone who could fight her way into a besieged city on her own. The simple leather armor she wore had certainly seen better days, her face was covered in ash and blood and he could only guess at the color of her hair. But the fact that she was standing here, seemingly unharmed, spoke for itself. “I’m looking for a priest named Martin,” their visitor announced. There was a strange tone to her voice, Martin thought – as if she had to make a conscious effort to control her own voice. Stranger still was that she seemed to be looking for him, of all people. Tierra, too worn out to be suspicious of anyone, answered her. “That... would be him,” she said, gesturing towards Martin, clearly confused. “But… what is it you want with him?” The woman ignored Tierra’s question. “He’s coming with me,” she stated instead, in a tone that did not allow for discussion. Martin stared at her, unmoving. “What?” “I said you’re coming with me,” she repeated, and for the first time, she actually looked at him instead of right through him. “The Emperor sent me to get you, and so I will.” That, Martin decided, was impossible. “The Emperor is dead! He must be, or else these Daedra would not even be here!” The woman rolled her eyes, entirely unimpressed. “I know he’s dead. I was with him when he died. Right after he told me I needed to find you. You are Martin, right? The priest?” “Yes. I'm a priest”, he replied. „Do you need a priest? I don't think I'll be much help to you. I'm having trouble understanding the gods right now. If all this is part of a divine plan, I'm not sure I want to have anything to do with it." “Well, unfortunately for you, there is, in fact, a plan, and it won’t work without you, so get moving!” she insisted. “What plan?” Martin hissed, all too quickly running out of patience with this woman, who did not even seem to care in the slightest about the suffering around her. “What are you talking about? I prayed to Akatosh all through that terrible night, but no help came. Only more Daedra. What can you possibly know that would help me make sense of this?” For just a moment, she lost her composure, a look of utter disbelief on her face. “He doesn’t know,” she said then, to no one in particular. “This man is the only thing stopping Mehrunes Dagon from taking over Tamriel and no one told him!” And then she started cackling. It was an ugly sound, and too loud for the otherwise silent chapel. It was a desperate kind of laugh, Martin knew, and he felt his blood run cold. If the Daedra outside were indeed Dagon’s minions, it was… as bad as it could possibly get, and whatever it was that this woman in front of him was talking about, he didn’t understand a word it. She seemed to believe he was… important somehow, and none of it made sense to him.

I do believe pretty much everyone has been tagged at least once this week already, however, I shall yeet a tag in @pinessydr's general direction, for I Crave The Lore.

And of course, anyone else who wants to share should feel tagged as well :)

[super-ion]

Such Lovely Fur

Chapter 2

[chapter 1 || chapter 3 | chapter 4 ]

“I don't even know your name!” I gasp over breakfast.

The demon blinks at me in surprise from her corner of the shallow cave that we shared the previous night. She is hunched over the carcass of a rabbit and I watch in morbid fascination as she plucks out the heart and pops it into her mouth.

“You… do have a name, don't you?” I ask.

“Aye,” she responds as she chews. “But I have yet to meet a human who can pronounce the language of my people.”

“So, what do I call you?”

She narrows her eyes at me as she swallows.

“Why?” she asks cautiously.

“If we're going to travel together, I can't just keep calling you ‘the demon’ can I? I am afraid I've been terribly rude and you have been…”

I run my fingers through the fur on my arms, taking a moment to marvel at the softness as I have many times in the night.

I realize that she is watching me with a bemused expression and I force my hands to my lap.

“You have been nothing but helpful,” I finish with a blush.

She raises an eyebrow, knowing full well that she had been nothing but crass and mischievous the entire time.

“Well… when you put it that way…” she says with a smirk. “I suppose you may call me Rook.”

“Rook?” I ask. “Like the bird?”

“A very fine, upstanding bird,” she says.

I have some doubts regarding that assertion, but who am I to judge?

And… having asked for hers, propriety dictates that I give her mine.

“I am Astra,” I say.

It likely is not very good practice to tell your name to a demon, but seeing as I have already entered a bargain with her, what harm could it do?

I pack my meager supplies and together we step out into the chill. The blizzard has momentarily paused its relentless onslaught and the air sits silent and heavy on the landscape. The air is still unnaturally frigid, but with my new coat, the cold doesn't bite quite as deeply.

“May I ask you a question?” I ask nervously as we set out.

“You just did. But yeah, go ahead and ask another.”

“You asked me yesterday if I was a man or a woman or something else. What else could there be?”

She narrows her eyes at me, searching my confused expression.

“A person can be any number of things,” she says, “both or neither or something else entirely. Take me for example, I'm whatever I feel like on any particular day. Girl today, but maybe tomorrow I feel different.”

I gawk at her.

“I've… never heard of such a thing.”

She furrows her brow.

“Alright," she says. "Let me ask you something. You were born a boy, were you not? Surely your society tolerates such things?”

“We are an enlightened society,” I say. “But a man is a man and a woman is a woman and it would not be proper to force someone to be something they are not. As is customary for people of my station, upon my sixth and twelfth birthdays, I was presented with a choice between male and female. I chose female as dictated by my inner truth and I was raised as such. I was given a woman's education to fulfill my proper role in society. Sometimes someone doesn't know until later in life, but there are policies in place to accommodate such a thing.”

“How… quaint?” she says with a look of genuine bafflement. “And your whole entire identity is tied up in rigidly defined gender roles imposed by said ‘enlightened’ society?”

I open my mouth to respond, but close it again. she is right.

“Tell me, is it a woman's role to rescue her husband-to-be from a witch?”

The barb lands home and I stiffen. I knew that having this discussion with a demon would be a mistake. I should have heeded my own advice and avoided this topic entirely.

“Do you even want to marry him?” she presses. “Because you have told me of the desires of your society and your family and your bridegroom, but you have told me nothing about your own desires.”

“What I want is inconsequential,” I say, more sulkily than I intend.

She looks at me with something very much like pity, but she holds her tongue for once.

We continue on in sullen silence, me trudging through the snow, her fluttering overhead between rocky outcroppings and stunted trees. The path narrows, traversing treacherous switchbacks and finally entering a narrow ravine.

It is just past midday when the fears that have crept their way into my consciousness are realized. We come around a bed in the ravine only to find that a landslide has blocked the way.

I stare at the rubble and the sheer rock walls in dismay. There is no way I could possibly climb this safely. I could attempt it, but for my efforts, I would receive bloodied fingers at best and a broken neck at worst.

“I could ask for wings?” I suggest to Rook.

She makes a pained face.

“Yeah, you don't want wings. My cousin once gave a man wings. He screamed in agony for hours. First I would have to break all of your ribs and your sternum and your arms and your-”

“Okay, I got it,” I grumble. “Maybe you can carry me?”

“No can do,” she replies. “I can only grant you boons to help yourself. I can't do the work for you.”

I sigh. I know where this is going.

“So, you're saying I need something to help me climb.”

“Yup.”

“Something like claws?”

“Yup.”

I look at my hands. The fur is something I can manage. Claws will be much more difficult to hide. Will my betrothed even accept me if I arrive to rescue him with the claws of a beast?

I shove the thought aside. Of course he will. He has to, doesn't he?

“Fine, let's just get this over with,” I mumble and close my eyes.

I feel the jolt and this time the magic takes the form of an ache in my bones. Despite her prior warning, I let my mind wander elsewhere, desperately seeking solace from the discomfort.

My thoughts wander to when I was a child, and my mother took me to a zoological exposition. I remember being fascinated by all of the strange and exotic animals, but one in particular held my attention more than any other. I must have spent an hour staring at that leopard, captivated by the fluid ease in which it moved, leaping and climbing within its enclosure. I remember trying to imagine such a creature in its own native environment, unconstrained by the bars that caged it. The idea of that freedom stuck in the back of my mind like a splinter for years afterwards.

When the transformation ends and the ache fades, I survey the changes with a weary sigh. My hands are now very nearly paws, more animal than human. My feet are even more so, as I discover when I kick off the shoes that now dig into them uncomfortably. I flex my fingers and toes, watching in fascination as pale, razor sharp claws emerge.

Rook is staring at me. I am expecting smugness, but her expression is uncharacteristically stricken.

I then become aware of the strange weight on my backside, and sensation where there should be none. Dread settles into the pit of my stomach as I crane my neck and pull up the hem of my dress to look at a tail covered with the same spotted silver-grey fur as the rest of me.

I glare at Rook.

"You gave me a tail!?" I shout.

She raises her hands placatingly.

"No... I mean, not on purpose..."

My tail begins thrashing behind me in agitation, the alien feeling of its motion bringing me to tears.

"How am I supposed to hide this?" I demand.

"I didn't do it," she insists. "This was not at all my intention."

"What do you mean, you didn't do it? It was your magic!"

She gasps indignantly, fluffing up her feathers to appear larger. She thrusts a clawed finger at me, pointing accusingly.

"Yes, but you are the one to will the change. Your imagination got away from you, didn't it? What part of ‘try not to think’ did you not understand?"

I am now quivering with rage. I flex my new claws, feeling them emerge and retract dangerously.

"My imagination? You're the one who gave me leopard spotted fur in the first place!”

“That also wasn't on purpose,” she pleads. “But you do have to admit-”

I've heard enough. With a snarl, I pounce at her, catching her off guard. I make contact and she goes down with a squawk.

I find myself on top of her, my paws pinning her shoulders, my face inches from hers as I bare my teeth and snarl menacingly. She stares up at me, panting slightly. When she does finally recover from her initial surprise, her expression doesn't shift to fear, but something altogether different.

“My, what big teeth you have,” she says with a sultry voice.

It is enough to cut through the fog of my anger and I clap a hand over my mouth as I roll off of her.

What on earth had come over me? It was completely improper for me to have lashed out like that. It went against every lesson in etiquette and decorum I had ever been given.

And to make matters worse, my canines are longer.

What am I going to do??

“I will say that was quite a pounce, little cat,” Rook says as she dusts herself off. “As I was saying before so rudely being interrupted - you have to admit that tail of yours will come in quite handy for balance on the climb. I do believe that you have just proven that exact point.”

I stop feeling at my teeth with my tongue and look back to my tail once more. The pounce had been effortless, fueled by instinct more than anything else. She is right of course. I would need all the tools at my disposal to face this obstacle.

The only problem is my dress. I flick my tail experimentally, watching and feeling as it snags against the fabric. The fine material is already frayed and ragged from my journey so far and it surely will not fare well against the jagged rocks ahead anyway.

“Turn around,” I tell Rook.

She cocks her head, and watches as I unsling my pack.

“Please?” I add belatedly.

She smirks and turns her back, giving me a modicum of privacy as I strip down to my small clothes. My chemise is still far too long to be useful, so I am regrettably forced to tear wide strips off of it until it is scandalously short. But… liberated from my dress and wearing naught but my leggings and a makeshift tunic, I feel… I feel…

Rook is staring at me. Her eyes glitter hungrily and she smiles her sharp tooth smile as her gaze traces up the shape of my legs.

My face heats, but I hold her gaze as I shove my cloak into my pack. It will only get in the way and within the relative shelter of the ravine it is hardly necessary with all my fur.

Unfortunately the dress will take up far too much room and will thus need to be left behind.

I am surprised to find that I do not care.

I sling my pack over my shoulders and look at my paws. I flex my claws and meet Rook’s gaze once more. I flash her a toothy grin before quickly turning and making a running leap for the boulders that block the path.

“Hey!” she shouts after me and I hear her begin to flap her wings.

But I'm already scrambling across the rocks. My claws find purchase where my fingers never could. Some deep primal instinct brought on by the transformation tells me where to place my paws, how to orient my tail to best balance my leaps and navigate narrow precipices with feline grace. Soon my heart is thundering and my lungs burn, each breath coming out in a great cloud.

I have never felt so alive.

I crest the top of the rockfall when Rook’s shadow falls over me. I pause for a moment to look back at her, a great dark shape blocking out the sun. I am briefly captivated by the way the light refracts through her feathers. I have to admit to myself that I have caught myself admiring the powerful muscles in her shoulders and chest that power those wings.

She starts to dive, sailing over me smooth and deadly.

I return my attention to the slope and make my next leap. In my descent, I find myself on all fours more often than not. It just feels right in a way I cannot put into words.

I reach the bottom just as Rook flutters to land atop a stray boulder. She studies me with a gleam in her eyes.

“Not bad, little cat,” she says with a grin. “Not bad at all.”

(next chapter)

[sugarrookiedesign]

A Date So Bad, I Made A Tumblr Post About It

I'm sorta just listing events from the date off but its not entirely in order, and I most certainly forgot a few details bc it was all so stressful and chaotic

Mostly posting this for myself and my friends to gawk at (hi! 💓)

We met on the hellsite grindr. They're conventionally attractive, a bit odd and confusing through text, but were nice and seemed chill overall. We exchanged socials prior to meeting up and they had no local friends or much online community at all despite living in the area their whole life but I chalked it up to being newly trans.

These were the red flags I shouldn't have ignored, if you're keeping track lmao

I agreed to come to their place and my boyfriend dropped me off

First off I aint judging, but their house was completely empty besides their room even tho they claimed to have roommates and werent moving/recently moved?? unrelated but justa odd vibe and potential red flag lol

They were so erratic from the moment I met them they just kept talking n talking, and were clearly not all there bc I couldn't understand alot of what they were sayin. It made conversation so hard.

We sat on the floor of their bedroom and smoked wii'd

They got very emotional about everything and would like jump up and like grab n shake me by the shoulders to emphasize the shit they were babbling 😭

Throughout the date they gave lil signs that they were a volatile person like they explained how they have had frequent fall outs w friends and family, their exs have called the cops on them on numerous occasions(explained in bits n pieces throughout the date during their semi-coherent rambles), and they had spicy reactions to me, just like, saying anything.

Thoughout the date they said the R word 3 times even after i told them it upset me, both to be funny and because they were mad at someone in their head, they made fun of muslims(amongst many others), told me "i dont go too far left, my political opinions will get me in trouble" and didnt elaborate when I tried gently asking about it.

They asked if I wanted to have sex like 4 times like out of nowhere in different ways and I had to say "Ive told you no 4 times, absolutely not, please stop" and kept pushing questions about my kinks. They also really hammered on how confusing polyamory was and made it clear that they thought it was dumb and funny that I have an asexual partnership w my fiance even though I explained it all to them prior ro meeting. :')

Like 6 times throughout our 4 hour date they made themselves so mad from talking(basically to themselves) about their traumas that they were like yelling at themselves while staring at the ground??

Surprisingly the thing that made me text my boyfriend to pick me up ASAP was they asked me to buy them food like over and over and made me explain why I didn't want to do that it was so creepy and weird and upsetting, ik it sounds dumb but just the way they were saying shit n pushing it really triggered my anxiety 😭

(obviously manipulative voice that i notice immediately): "aw you know I could really go for some icecream but ive been broke recently and i have no food in my fridge"

me, knowing whats coming, already so sick of them: "Ah I feel you I love icecream, and I've been nearly broke recently too"

"..please buy me icecream?"

"uh no im sorry not today"

"please?"

"uuuuh, what? I dont really feel like it i already bought us snacks and i dont have alot of money"

"you said *nearly broke*. Can you please?"

"no"

"why not you have money"

and just kept going and was like asking how much I had in my bank account 😭

i try to ignore my phone when im w people to be respectful so the first time i texted my bf was to get rescued right after they begged me for food money and they just stared at me silently for like 15 seconds while I was texting before angrily saying "Oh so do you talk shit to your boyfriend when your grindr dates aren't going well? Is that it?"

for my safety I had to pretend like I was willing to go on a second date but I blocked her everywhere except grindr before I was even out of her driveway 😭😭

its hard to fully explain how fucking weird and bad this date was

One last small thing lmaooo when she put a youtube video on for us to watch she just straight up unblinkingly stared directly at my face to gauge my reactions to it FOR THE ENTIRE VIDEO I STG IF THAT ISNT SERIAL KILLER VIBES DUDE

Im tired, I just wanted headpats but I put myself in danger instead uuuugghhh

Part of it was absurd and almost-funny, I couldn't believe what was happening at times, but it was also mostly just super stressful. Lots of thoughts n anxiety swirling through my silly kitty brain 😖

Im not judging them for being clearly mentally unwell and I really hope they heal and get help for the stuff they're going through.. but also they were an objectively bad person who I need as far away from me as possible!

[salllzy]

The courts #3

Charlie looked around with wide eyes, she was inside the Winter Court, no one she knew had ever been inside the Winter Court, wide gold eyes looked at the fae. They had animal parts, some had tails and ears and some even had animal legs. She had never seen anything like it in the other courts, those that lived in the other courts and her home court looked somewhat human. Barring a few things here and there, mortals didn't have the eye colours that they did and nor did their eyes glow. "Careful now little fawn, it is rude to stare." She blushed gold as she realised that she had been staring at that a lot of the Winter fae had noticed. "Come now, Your Highness, it isn't every day that we get strangers in the Winter Court. Much less a member of the Spring Court!" A small crowd had gathered around them and while Charlie was used to having others stare and look at her, it had never been like this before. As if she was a curiosity. She was used to others staring at her because she was the Princess of the Spring Court, not because she was different and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. But then again, hadn't she been doing the same thing? "Your Highness, what shall we do about the Amalgamation?" A guard had approached and Charlie looked at the giant monster that had been dragged into the town. "Contact my father and tell him what happened, it shouldn't be long until the royal guards are dispatched to make sure that there are no more. Where there is one, there is always more and we cannot let them run loose. They'll consume the entire forest if they are left unchecked." The guard bowed and made his way to the main building, Charlie wondered if the monster that had chased her and killed the guards that had been escorting her were such a bug thing. "Another one? Normally they are dormant this time of the year." There was murmuring as many of them gazed at the corpse. "We will find out, if someone is tampering things with that they shouldn't be? Then they will face the full might of the Winter Court." Many of the crowd relaxed, Amalgamations weren't born they were created. They had been created years ago during the last civil war. Before their current King had taken the throne they had been ruled by a tyrant, one who had created the Amalgamations to strike terror into their hearts, after all, there was nothing more terrifying than watching your family being eaten alive while you could do nothing but watch. Everyone had been doubtful of the new King, it was hard not to be given that it had been his father that had tormented them for millennia. They had wrongfully judged him. They knew that now, but back then? All they had known was terror and horror. It had taken the newly crowned king centuries to earn their love and trust, even longer before he made any public appearances, but when he had done so? He looked ill, gravely ill. He had spent every waking hour going through everything that he could, undoing millennia of torture and torment that his sire had inflicted on people. Overruling laws that had no place in their world. They never should have existed in the first place. His daughter had stood by his side, a silent guard on the lookout for any threats that they might throw at them. Her eyes had been cold, so cold as she looked at them.

As it turned out she had been looking for threats, the moment they had appeared? They had been attacked, an Amalgamation had appeared out of nowhere and attacked them. It had been the biggest one that they had ever seen. Fifteen heads and each one was more monstrous than the last, they had all thought that they were going to die. That they would all be consumed. But it hadn't happened, by all rights, they should have been left to die, the King and his daughter had every right to leave them. But they hadn't. They had stayed and defended them. That was when they realised just how much they had been doing for them, the countless hours they had put in, just how deep the corruption of the former King went. Day after day they worked, tirelessly and without thanks. After all, why did they need to thank them? It had been their sire and grandsire that had created the mess, so it only seemed right that they be the ones to clean it up. That had been the mentality that many of them had. Then when it had all been cleaned up? He had stepped down, he had given the throne and crown up and disappeared. It had taken the entire Winter Court to find him and even then it had taken decades to do so. They had demanded that he come back, that he accept his duty and finish what he had started and he had refused. They both had. After all, they had done what they had set out to do. So they had left them alone. Then the next King sat on the throne, Vox, he had been incompetent and had almost destroyed the Winter Court far more than the tyrant King had been capable of. He and the King of the Summer Court had almost plunged the entire fae realm into war. It had taken them begging to get the former King and his daughter to return to them, to help them. But they did return and they helped them.

[alyjojo]

November 😶‍🌫️ 2023 Monthly - Aries

Whole of your energy: 8 Cups

There is a heavy energy of loss in this reading, and indecision has kept or is keeping you trapped for the time being. There is a heavy sadness attached to whatever has been lost, 2 Cups rev at the bottom shows a deep connection, someone or something you have loved, maybe even thought it would last forever. Who they are could be anyone, a friend, lover, parent. It also doesn’t have to be any particular relationship, it could be several. You’re in a state of mourning something, it’s been incredibly difficult for you to “face the facts”, detach emotionally, or it is currently. There are big changes coming your way with Wheel of Fortune & Justice. With 8 Cups and 6 Wands, Aries is not an energy that stays down for long, you’re not comfortable in the ick, sadness, the darkness. You will move, you will leave something behind, and move towards victory or something you can win. It’s possible that’s the plan and you’re just mourning what’s being or has been left behind, for now.

What’s going on in November:

5 Cups:

This is an energy of mourning, sadness, possibly regret with 9 Wands following. There’s an intense feeling of guilt or shame here, you follow this card, Queen of Wands. Whatever you’ve left behind, you’re upset about it, possibly wish you’d never have taken some sort of action. The Hermit shows you alone, there’s a possible break up or a disconnection with some person, and now you’re regretting any hurt or pain you caused before this happened, thinking of everything you should have done or should have been to other people. Should have taken things more seriously, or should have called more. It’s not a great energy to be in for long, it’s good for shadow work, and being in The Hermit energy can be very positive once we work through it. Many of the signs have similar energies this month. For now though, you’re stuck in the muck of emotions, consequences, having hurt someone or even having been hurt yourself. You could regret ever getting involved with someone, or ever walking away, if you did. Having both Hermit and High Priestess here can show a major spiritual awakening, and that sounds great but it involves this, facing darkness and all of our demons. It can describe the hardest time period of your life. Sending you big hugs, this shit ain’t easy 💚

9 Wands:

9 Wands is a lot of pain, you’ve been deeply wounded. But you don’t give up. You build up walls to protect yourself from more wounds, more battles, you just need enough time to get to the end - the 10 - where this is all over and you can drop the bs and move on to happier days. This seems to regard giving someone another chance, for some of you. You wish you never would have, maybe you’d be happier if you didn’t. But you didn’t. For others you could feel like maybe you were too harsh, or someone was too harsh with you with their Judgement of a situation. 6 Pentacles indicates equal exchange, so whatever it was, it wasn’t just you doing it, and that’s important. There could be a lot of silent judging between you, not much open communication. You could be considering giving someone another chance, but you hesitate, because they’ve hurt you. Would you regret it? Would it be easier to just move on to something new?

The High Priestess:

Any apologies that should have been forthcoming were not, they were kept silent, or are being kept silent right now. You’re trying to gain some perspective on the situation, but with no communication from whoever this other person is, that’s hard to do. It’s just you, mulling over everything, feeling sad and regret. 3 Wands shows you could be waiting on them, especially if they’re the ones that hurt you. Or they are.

The Wheel of Fortune:

You will talk to someone, a King of Pentacles, this could be the person you’re either leaving or they’ve left. With Justice following and 2 Cups rev making appearances through the entire reading, this could be a spouse, maybe a parent, someone close to you. You’re going to get the clarity you’ve needed, and I don’t see any major conflicts or nasty words being said. If anything, you’re keeping very quiet how you’re feeling about the situation, which is sad. You love whoever this is, however you do. For some, you did, and you’re in a place mentally where that’s always on your mind. It could be someone else that’s taking the action, and cutting ties. This King seems to be “just business”, like there’s no room for emotion even if you wanted to say something. You do, but you don’t.

Justice:

With a decision having been made, you will feel justified by having waited it out for this person to make a decision, and not you? It’s like your conscious is clear. They could’ve come back around, you would’ve let them, maybe now you regret questioning your own self, like you always knew. You could have gone several cycles with this person coming and going or hurting you and trying again, forgiving them, over and over. With them making the decision, you’re free, The Fool. 8 Cups and 6 Wands again show, whatever is beyond isn’t it for you anymore, you are free to start over and find your 9 & 10 Cups, your dream come true, total happiness, that this situation or relationship didn’t provide. Or just couldn’t, if this is a platonic connection. If this is a divorce, you could be waiting until the very end, once it’s final, to move on to something or someone else, giving this person every opportunity to change their mind. For some that’s going to take some time, others may be at the end right now, the decision is final in November, and you could regret having waited. Or the emotions will kick in now that it’s all become real. There is no rush, that’s the biggest message here, take your time deciding what you want, where you want to go, or what comes next. Even if you wanted this, if you chose this, endings are still hard. Pistachio is kinda giving you some crap from Spirit though, telling you to get out of the house more 💚

11:11 is here with Growth and Justice, that’s what’s standing out the most to me. Once this is over with, and you get brand new start, victory follows - 6 Wands. Success, recognition, promotion, positive attention. Have faith that better days are coming.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Scorpio, Sagittarius, Pisces, Taurus, Cancer & Aries

Oracles: ✨

38 Growth 🪴

This situation or time is one of rapid growth. The seeds that have been planted have germinated and taken root. Go with the flow of this growing time. You may find people and situations falling away from your life, as now they do not serve who and what you are becoming. It may be that your vibration no longer resonates with theirs. It’s okay, wish them well, be grateful for what they brought to you and you to them, and send them on their way. Room has now been made for new experiences, people, and situations to help you to your next level. If you are not feeling this shift right now, be prepared because it will soon come to pass.

We enter into November as:

Pink From Pinkton 💗

“I am more than I think I am.”

Pink shows us the process of self-awareness. Are you trying to recapture a past moment that no longer fits? You may have outgrown something, and while it can be a challenge to admit it, being fully who you are is much more glorious than trying to fit yourself into the past. If you are presently upset or struggling with a difficult situation, it may be because you are trying to make something work when it simply can’t. You may be seeking to keep something far less than what you deserve. With self-awareness and discovery comes a new obligation, using your new knowledge. New ideas, projects & opportunities can only come if you stop blocking them.

What is to be learned in November:

Pistachio 🎩

“I’ve got all I could ever need, right here.”

Excuses. Excuses. Excuses. They can begin to snowball. Pistachio wants you to live the life that he can’t seem to participate in. He is saying “Stop waiting for the right time to live your life!” This isn’t the dress rehearsal, it’s the real thing. You could be on the verge of something big, and if you don’t participate, you’re going to watch it pass you by. Don’t let anything prevent you from taking a chance. It is important to do what you love to do, but are you letting new experiences in? Or are you in a comfort zone that’s leading nowhere? Doing the same thing and expecting something different is not likely. The time is now to take a risk, talk to people, show up for life! Live now! Don’t wait another day.

Green may be a lucky color 💚

[timeoverload]

I had a long day and I didn't enjoy it at all. I had 32 cases but I didn't stay for the last one because it didn't start until 5:30. I already feel dead but it's only Tuesday. The rest of the week is probably going to be miserable too.

It's summer and I don't understand why we are still so busy. I guess they want us to be productive the entire time we are at work. They took away the stools in the hallway so people can't sit down and I think that's fucked up. They were concerned about the doctors and patients thinking we're lazy but that's stupid. We aren't lazy. The doctors don't care as long as shit gets done and the patients are generally out of it because of the drugs they give them so I doubt they remember anything. The people that are making these decisions sit in their offices half of the day and I don't see them doing much work. Whenever I see them in the OR, they are just standing around talking. I am just so frustrated about it. I like to sit down out there sometimes when I am waiting for a case to get done so it is just going to make the day more difficult. They don't care. I feel like a slave.

I didn't sleep very well last night because I had an asthma attack. It's my fault because I had too many liquids right before I went to bed. I also didn't prop myself up. I don't have any other breathing problems and I know it's from my acid reflux because there was fluid in my lungs. I felt better once I got it out. I need to stop eating so late so that doesn't happen. I hate feeling like that. I feel bad for coughing that much in the middle of the night because I'm sure it wakes everyone up. I am not trying to be annoying. I couldn't go back to bed after that so I have been awake since 3:30.

I am glad that I don't feel quite so nauseated today. I know I had food poisoning. I guess I will have to be more careful about what I eat. I was going to get food on my way home but I decided not to. I just couldn't sit in the car anymore. I still have some canned food so it's ok.

I really want to gain weight because I'm so unhappy with my body. I am too thin and it makes me feel unattractive. I have been extremely self-conscious lately. I think I have always been self-conscious about my chest. I used to stuff my bra when I was younger and I wear a padded bra now. I would never get implants because I've seen enough defective ones get taken out of people so I'm not willing to take that risk. I don't want to surgically alter my body but I wish I was more curvy. Sorry if that's too much information but it has been bothering me a lot. I also got told once that my ass looked deflated after I had lost a lot of weight. I don't feel very feminine. I feel like people are silently judging me because of my size sometimes. I also miss my dark hair too but I don't want to start dyeing my hair again because it was falling out after doing that for a while. I almost blinded myself because I was tinting my eyebrows and eyelashes to match my hair and that was a stupid idea. I don't know why I can't just be happy with what I have. I'm not trying to compare myself to other people. I know that a lot of people aren't totally satisfied with their bodies either so I guess I'm not alone. I just wish I could stop feeling so ugly. I will try to work on myself more.

I haven't heard anything from my mom so I don't know what she is doing. I am just afraid I am going to get a bad phone call sometime. I shouldn't expect to get bad news but I have a gut feeling it's going to happen eventually. I am going to continue to hope for the best.

I really wish I had more positive things to say. I don't have much to talk about. I am just so tired. My toes feel broken and my back hurts. I should probably go make myself food soon. I am not planning on staying up late tonight. My goal is to be asleep by 10. I am going to make sure to prop myself up so I don't have another coughing fit. I hope I have the strength to make it through the rest of the week. I will do my best to make tomorrow a good day.

I hope everyone else has a great day tomorrow too. 💖💖💖

[sixerslovecoach]

i am so sad. frustrated. emotional. disappointed. not in you, in myself. i wish life was easy as fucking sports. 2 points. 3 points. rebounds. even a referee. who cares. there are no foul shots in life. i'm mad.

i'm so mad. at you. and normally my pattern is: i'm going through something and you are not here physically or socially or verbally so fuck all that mentally and emotionally and spiritually shit. it's not even a financial frustration this time. fuck money. mine, yours, ours, theirs, the entire world economy can fuck off right now.

i'm just mad. at you. so mad. so mad that i can love someone but cannot call or text or look at them and say "i love you". glad that we were in the same room and i was focused. i was doing my job. i was happy to be there. i was me. my hair was done. i had done it myself. my sneakers were new. i purchased them. there was enough money to do so and even when there wasn't, there was a man who loved me enough to give me some when i was short. he's a menace. he can be a demon. but such is life, right? because i scare all the angels. i guess. i don't know what i'm saying. it doesn't make any sense and this is the kind of rambling that can undo so many laws of manifestation or attraction or use your fucking words or whatever.

i'm mad because we are supposed to fuck or whatever. and it's just a ball and bundle of unfulfilled longing for no other reason. a year of celibacy. of not wanting to be touched or even looked at. a year of loyalty. a year of "who is that supposed to be?" like life is one big fucking game of guess who while everyone wears other people's faces and bodies as costumes. the masked singer but make it the. masked human and instead of costumes - flesh! blood? cool?!?!

i'm mad at you. i want to hate you to stop loving you for 5 minutes so i can realize that dreams do not always come true. fantasies do not always become real. and ideas, concepts, even babies do not always come to life. that you can be 105-99 or some bullshit and in the blink of an eye, you can watch everything slip away. the win. the victory. and now the opp has the audacity to ask you if you still believe in God.

why yes, i do. i still believe in God. i still believe in Love. i don't entirely believe in money. i don't entirely believe in fairness. i'm not even sure if i believe in justice when it doesn't involve the bodies of enemies falling into a river or a villain being carried away by the people who are supposed to protect us. i believe in me because that is the only thing i can rely on to be real and true every day. i don't even need to pinch myself. i exist. i don't even need to pinch you or kiss you or touch you or fuck you to know you exist. i don't need to make eye contact with you to know you see me. and i don't have to walk up to you and give you a hug or take a pic with you for you to know i am a huge fucking fan. i don't need you to take me home and rescue me. i don't need you to slide in my DMs and ask me out. i just need you, at this point, to not be evil. to not be some huge evil fucking disappointment that i believed in just so the devil could fuck with me.

i would much rather just smoke my weed and go take my stupid little fucking drug test and do whatever little fucking work that will make me money and ignore the constant door opening and closing all fucking day that comes along with a new tenant being in the buiding. silly fucking me. i should have ran up and down the hallways naked and screamed at the top of my lungs if i knew i would have neighbors already. fuck these humans and their microclingings and longings for attention that they dont even really want from me. they want it from the world as if the world was not enough and now i am some underpaid volunteer intern ass receptionist or a judge on a reality show where everyone gets approval and money and fame.

leave me the fuck alone. and that includes you. i am tired of being loved from such a long silent and invisible distance. i am tired of begging people for jobs that are essentially beneath me but being too fair and diplomatic and compassionate and humble to admit so. i'm tired of making custom resumes for corporations to reject me.

i'm tired of starting over because the old plan doesnt make sense anymore. i'm tired of not being able to take jobs because i dont have a car and they ar etoo far away. i'm tired of not focusing on my business because i am still carrying around the weight of the heavy ass truth that I DID NOT PROFIT FROM MY FUCKING PURPOSE.

i am tired of being an entrepreneur. i am tired of being a gigworker. i am tired of being everything but a fucking wife and mother. i am tired of appointments. i'm tired of spending money. i'm tired.

i hate being a woman because the one thing i want to do most requires a man. i hate you all and i want to impregnate myself.

i can fit a crib in this apartment. i can make enough money to support us both. i need $50,000 before i can even be a mom.

i hate it here. everyone can go away. including you.

but not too far. because you're the only one i trust to not be a complete fucking idiot and asshole when it matters most.

i love you. i just wish life loved me a little more.

what a fucking huge deception this has all been.

but in the end. yes.

i still believe in God.

shalom. - xo nia

(and christ is still king. whoever the fuck he is. wherever the fuck he is. even if i am christ. i dont care. fuck everybody. christ wins.)

[meditationsbyalma]

phenomenon that don’t make any sense to me.

If you read any of my blogs, know me on a personal level, or I even had the chance to meet you in the past, you would know that I like to take pride in the fact that I am high in awareness, whether that is self-awareness or situational awareness. I cannot resist trying to make sense of events around me or the state that I find things in. If I met someone who was extra vulgar, extra insecure, or extra in any given way, my tendency to sympathise with them and rationalise the state that I found them in would always beat my natural instinct to judge them for who they are. I would even come up with stories in my mind and imagine the events that drove them to manifest themselves in that manner into the world.

Sometimes my mind fails to understand some phenomenon (plural of phenomena) that I have encountered in my life to the point that I wonder if I am the only one who feels this way or if it is something that some people would notice from time to time as well. Here are a couple of them:

1- The fade of a personality in the middle of groups:

To sit in the presence of someone and have them express their being through verbal, authentic words is a joy that I could never get enough of. To create a space in which the other part could be vulnerable is a sensitive process, but it would not be possible if you were willing to be vulnerable yourself. Sometimes you even have to be willing to take the initiative to be vulnerable first in order for them to follow your steps. I personally have been so lucky to be on the receiving end on many occasions in my life.

A good, deep conversation could radically change your perspective on a person. It separates them from the crowd of people that you cross paths with in your life. It gives them depth and sometimes serves to remind you of how different a person is from you by getting to see things through their own eyes. Suddenly, you feel that you have an accurate sense of their identity and a clear impression of their personality.

Now, look back in the past and ask yourself if you ever had a deep conversation with a group of people (3 or more) that brought all the members closer or, more importantly, allowed everyone to be vulnerable and open to sharing voluntarily.

For some reason, in the presence of groups, personalities tend to fade, the print that the individual holds is flattened, and the space for creating closeness and tightness vanishes. Somehow, our guards go up. and our sense of self is magnified. We might feel comfortable being ourselves around the group, but we would never be as vulnerable as we would have been if we were talking to a single person instead of an entire group. At least that’s what I have noticed in my own experience.

Why does that happen? I have no idea.

2. We fail to realise that we talk at each other and not with each other.

My sense of situational awareness is exaggerated after limiting my interactions with people for a couple of weeks or more. Usually, when I decide to involve myself again in more socialisation, I tend to be silent and just observe in the background of the group, at least for the first half hour of the meeting. What shocks me most of the time is to realise that most of us talk at each other and not with each other.

Most of us take the conversation to our territory of comfort. The topics that we are comfortable talking about and the opinions that we all agree on, the ones that would not create any conflict or disruption in the setting. Most of the time, you can notice that the ego takes over the conversation and the person goes on a rant to talk about a personal story or express their opinion. Somehow that triggers the other egos in the group, and everyone suddenly wants to express themselves, whether to add on what the previous person said or to project the conversation onto themselves.

Listening, which is a very valuable skill, is really scarce among people. We approach conversations and debates as a way to express ourselves and prove our being, whereas sometimes that’s not what the group is all about. We twist it and oblige it to be how we want it to be: a stand for our ego to take over us and those around us. 

Am I the only one feeling that?

(I feel like this blog was meant for me to share what I have been noticing around me, none of the ideas are articulated properly because I myself fail the understand their nature or how relatable they are.)

Yassine Said.

[dirty-lego-mouse-droid]

Weirdly I didn't get a notification for the tag, I just found out scrolling through the blog lol.

1. Are you named after anyone?

I have been told that my middle name is a Bible character. Idk I haven't read it. I do also have a second middle name I got from my great grandfather which I really like cuz it's got a neato silent "e" at the end that I haven't seen on anywhere else but my own name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I forgor, which means probably during a dream. It happens semi-frequently apparently. Or I drool.

3. Do you have kids?

See: profile picture. (No.)

4. What sports do you play/have played?

When my family still did stuff together we played baseball in the school's diamond in the evening. Although I've never played them outside of school, I'm fairly good at badminton and volleyball. I'll stop here because I don't think Wii games count.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I use it in a sort of dry, deadpan humour kind of way, never in heated arguments, sonetimes mockingly as a light tease with close friends.

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone?

How they present themselves. Usually how they dress comes first, but the main thing I find myself judging people by is how they write and talk; their use of punctuation, there attention to grammar and thier spelling as well as how they try to pass ideas to me and the tone they use regularly.

7. Eye colour?

Been told hazel but it just looks plain brown to me.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I don't find scary movies scary anymore but I still enjoy them. Happy endings are boring. Live with consequences like the rest of us.

9. Any talents?

I used to be good at drawing but I find it physically painful to attempt nowadays. Acting I suppose. Do it all the time as a survival tactic. Chameleon ass personality.

10. Where were you born?

A leaf! A LEAF!!! Our submissions had beavers, meese, (plural for moose cuz I said so,) the flag we used in World War Two had that cool ass shield, my province STILL uses a cool shield but when it comes to the entire country? A F🇨🇦KING LEAF OF A DECIDUOUS TREE!!! DECIDUOUS TREE IN A COUNTRY NOTORIOUS FOR WINTER!!!

11. Hobbies?

Gaming and making silly scenarios in my head when listening to music and leaat time consuming of all, being a leader in Scouts Canada. All of these, however, have been done over the course of my entire sentience. (Also Scouts Canada has female participants so do NOT call me a boy scout.)

12. Any pets?

I suffer from a rule of three. Throughout my entire life I have had no less than two cats, thiugh the average is three. Every time we get a fourth, one (statistically the most recent addition) will perish in some matural or accidental way. My cat Oscar who passed peacefully almost two years ago was the first to do so without the curse taking effect. I now have two cats Oreo and Jenny, a bitch Archer and a turtle named Armadillo. My sister possesses an indeterminate amount of fish as well.

13. Height?

5'10" Which is taller than most of my family.

14. Favourite school subject?

Gym. Physical Education. Whatever you call it. No long tests, no stressful presentations, just well-regulated sports with friends. If you weren't friendly or lacked sportsmanship then you could fuck right off for all the teacher cared, he'd just fail your ass. That said, the teachers were always super cool and probably the reason I'm so chill with swearing casually nowadays. Also drama.

15. Dream job?

Voice actor. Supporting actor if I ever do live work. If I get more famous than Keith David I'm gonna need you to kill me before I join a cult like Tom Cruise. Also being side characters means I get to die a lot which I always like.

Uhhh... don't feel pressured. @hikiclawd @retro-8bit

I don't have many friends here lol.

Was tagged by @humanaaa and @hholandies!! Thanks for the tags ^^

1. Are you named after anyone? Kinda?? My first and second names are supposed to come from angels of the bible (or as so i was told), but istg the one from my first name DOES NOT exist. I searched everywhere and came up empty-handed lol

2. When was the last time you cried? Last week when i replayed Adastra. The catharsis was so strong it disintegrated my core being into dust fr fr

3. Do you have kids? Nope!! And i don't plan to!!

4. What sports do you play/have you played? I practiced judo when i was very very tiny, but i was too scrawny and clumsy for it. Left before even making it out of the white belt LMAO Also a little before high school i used to play basketball and swim!! Now i just bike regularly if that somehow counts SKDJFDKF

5. Do you use sarcasm? Very very rarely

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone? Their outfit!!

7. Eye color? Brown!!

8. Scary movies or happy endings? C-Can i have both 🥺👉👈 But if i had to choose between them i think i'd go with a scary movie

9. Any talents? Being good at math counts?? SKJSJSJD

10. Where were you born? BRASIL NÚMERO 1 CAMPEÃO DO MUNDO 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷

11. Hobbies? Since the start of the year i picked up drawing again!! I sometimes play videogames, but i haven't been doing it that much lately. I take walks a few days of the week. I also like watching/reading stuff but that one's a given

12. Any pets? We have two dogs!! Fiona, the bigger one we adopted, and Moana, the smaller one that adopted us!! (i also wanted a cat but everyone here's allergic and hates them to death for some reason)

13. Height? I must be between 1.70m ~ 1.72m?? I haven't measured my height in quite some time lol

14. Favorite school subject? Unsurprisingly, math!!

15. Dream job? I used to dream of becoming a programmer or a game developer, but i've become quite disillusioned with the industry. Now i really have no idea LMAO

Tagging @not-too-many-eyes @rainbowghostcat @candckirby @seariii @gunsli-01 @roseofcards90 and anyone else that feels like it!!

[thebeautyoffanfics]

Hey there Savi.. could i request a kou,mitsuba and tsukasa x reader where their s/o gets bullied alot?? I've been struggling with it recently and now that school is going to start again im dreading it .. thank you in advance <3

kou minamoto x gn!reader, mitsuba sousuke x gn!reader, tsukasa yugi x gn!reader

a/n: of course!! I’m really sorry that you’ve had experiences like that, but I also genuinely hope that this year will be better! You’ve got this-!! And don’t be afraid to ask for help <3 you’re so so welcome, tho I’m sure schools probably started by now, therefore I’m super sorry for the time this took- and thank you so much for requesting <3

Waaaaaah i’m also sorry if it’s OOC, cos I know Tsukasa’s at least is;;; writer’s block is aaaaaaah-;; I’ve genuinely been writing this since September 19th,,,,

warnings: bullying

word count: 2,044

kou minamoto <3

You glanced at your phone screen, the date flashing up at you. It was depressing. Thoughts of previous years danced in your head, as you shut your phone back off. You currently stood outside of your school, “open house” finally over. School was starting back in just a few days. Your days of freedom could be counted on one hand… this was, by far, one of your least favorite times of the year.

“(Y/N)! Do you still want to walk to the park?” Kou questioned, running up beside you. You nodded, hoping that spending time with your boyfriend would get your mind off of school, and memories related to such. As the two of you began to walk, you could practically feel the question on the tip of Kou’s tongue. He always made himself rather obvious- his hands fidgeted a bit, his gaze lowering to the ground.

“Say, (Y/N)... you seem sad. Is it because school’s starting back?”

You thought for a moment, unsure of how to put it. He certainly wasn’t wrong…

“Yeah, that’s basically it… last year was just… not a good year, haha.”

“Oh? Well, I’m sure this one will be better!! If you want, we can make a list or something? All the bad things about last year can be something we change this year-!”

Despite bitterly knowing that it wasn’t exactly something within your realm of control, you laughed a bit. “That’s… insanely corny, Kou. I didn’t say a terrible idea- just… corny.”

When you glanced up at him, you noticed his red face, as he blurted out an excuse. A moment of fumbling over his words passed, before he gave up, glancing off to the side once more.

“Wh-whatever- I mean, just… like, tell me what’s wrong, if you want to. And I’ll try to help. Alright?”

“It’s really not something either of us can help, Kou.”

“So? I’m your boyfriend,” He seemed a bit embarrassed to say, most likely not used to pulling that sort of card, “If you don’t want to tell me, I can’t make you. But, if you’re alright with telling me, I want to know. Either way, I’m here for you...”

“Ah… I know it, Kou. Honestly, I just… dealt with some bullying last year, so I’m really not looking forward to this year. No matter how much I hear ‘oh, the bully does it to feel better about themself’, it’s just emotionally… hm, awful, you know?”

“Oh… I understand, (Y/N). I do remember some people picking on me, since I have a big brother like Teru- it’s not fun at all. Here!! I’ll stay with you, 24/7! Sit with me during classes, and I’ll hang out with you during free time!” “Thanks, Kou- but we probably won’t have every class together.”

“Then- just tell me if something happens during the class,” He spoke, crossing his arms rather seriously. “I’ll talk with the teacher! Easy peasy!!”

A moment passed, before Kou took your hand, looking at the ground, then back up with you. His eyebrows were furrowed just slightly, his eyes not as wide as they usually were. Kou was being serious- as serious as his sweet mind could let him be. He almost seemed to resemble his big brother even more- when the two were serious.

“If something happens, tell me, okay? I mean it. I don’t want this year to be bad for you- as your friend and boyfriend! Let me do what I can to help, alright?”

You blinked a bit. Kou’s words were so sincere, you felt your heart beat a bit quicker. “A-alright. Thank you, Kou. I really mean it.” You spoke, bringing the boy into a hug to hide whatever sort of expression you were making.

“Of course! You don’t need to thank me, (Y/N). I’m happy to try and help-!”

mitsuba sousuke <3

“(Y/N), if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll give you something to complain about.”

Ah, Mitsuba… he spoke, his arms crossed as he sat next to you, silently noticing your slightly disheveled clothes. Judging by the slightly down look you wore, too many things were now adding up. Something was bothering you, and he was bound and determined to find out what it was.

“Mitsuba, it’s okay, really. Here! Let’s eat, I’m starving!” You opened up your bento box, sliding one his way, and sticking the chopsticks into your mouth. Though you hummed happily, Mitsuba was… in Detective Mode, to put it lightheartedly. Your every move was being analyzed, as he tried his best to figure out what was wrong. Your eyebrows furrowed, as you swallowed a bit harder than usual.

“What’s the point of lying to me, dummy? If you aren’t hungry, it’s probably because whatever is bothering you is ruining your appetite. Talk to me. I’m serious.”

You sighed, feeling as if the food was stuck in your throat. Or maybe your throat simply felt as though it had a lump in it…? Either way, you were painfully aware of the unpleasant feeling. Along with the creeping suspicion that Mitsuba wasn’t going to leave this alone. Was he good at reading people?? Were you just easy to read…? Or maybe, he was just far too accustomed to the way you reacted to things. Able to focus in on the little things, especially when he wanted to. Perhaps it was the talent of a photographer? Being able to read the entire picture??

Perhaps you were thinking too much into it, desperate for a way to get your mind off of the things going on around you.

“I’m just… dealing with some stuff.”

“Well, duh. What kind of stuff?”

You kept your gaze glued to the floor, fiddling absentmindedly with the chopsticks. You knew you could confide in Mitsuba… yet, something about it felt practically impossible. What would happen if you told him? Could he do anything? He was merely a ghost…

“Oi, I asked a question. Listen, and listen well, you idiot- I know I can’t solve all your problems, but I can at least listen- which is what you’d better be doing right now. You listen to me, though who wouldn’t want to is beyond me, so I can at least do the same. I’m not your therapist, but I am your boyfriend.”

Those words danced around in your mind for a bit, as you considered how to put it. For a moment, you simply nodded, letting Mitsuba know you heard- and were acknowledging- what he said. A few more moments passed before you began to speak.

“Lately, there have been some students… picking on me, I guess. It’s… discouraging, and makes school feel like a living nightmare. You’re the only good thing in my day at this hellhole.”

“Oh.”

You tightened your grip on the chopsticks, trying to read Mitsuba’s tone. Suddenly, it clicked- remembering Mitsuba mentioning being bullied for being “feminine” and “foul-mouthed”. He truly, genuinely, understood where you were coming from.

“I see, then… I’ll tell you what to do, (Y/N). Tell an adult, lame-o. I don’t give a flying flip about ‘oh, they won’t believe me’ or ‘what if the bullies blah blah.’ At least try it- it’s hard, but I don’t care about that either. Also, freaking ignore them. Obviously, you don’t want to pay them attention, so don’t.”

“Mitsuba, it’s not that easy-”

“I know. (Y/N), I’ve been in your shoes. Maybe it’s different- I dunno what kind of bullying they’re doing. Still, if you’re good enough for my standards, you know you’re at least worth something. So don’t let those low-lives get you down. I promise you, if I could, I’d give them a piece of my mind. But, since I can’t, just… do it yourself, or something. Don’t endure it, you rat.”

(“Mitsuba, all your insults lowkey feel like bullying-”

“Shut up, stupid-face, you can’t tell a teacher on a ghost. What’re you gonna say?? Waaaah, sensei, school mystery number 3 is calling me names!! Hah.”

“Tsuchigomori-sensei can see you, you know. And he teaches both Minamoto boys!”

“Lalalaaaa, I can’t hear you-”)

tsukasa yugi <3

Tsukasa… knows.

There was no other way to put it. You knew he knew, and you knew he was just waiting. A part of him wanted you to ask him for help- to confide in him, even if it took some pushing. He was… a bit different in that sense- I mean, how was he to know you didn’t enjoy being bullied? Was it the same way he felt when Amane looked at him with such hatred?

“(Y/N)!! What’s with such a sad look?? Did you get a bad test grade?” Tsukasa questioned, floating alongside you as you entered the broadcasting room. You simply shook your head, placing your bookbag on the floor, then standing back up.

“It’s just been a day, Tsu,” You added, taking a seat near Sakura. As you did, she pushed a cup of tea your way, her gaze as it usually was. She looked right through you, as if you were nothing but a ghost. Still, it was a much better look than the ones given by the bullies. Muttering a ‘thank you’, you lifted the cup, fiddling with it slightly.

“If there’s something bothering you, feel free to share it,” Sakura spoke, her gaze staying on you, then finally closing as she sipped from her cup.

“If there’s something bothering you, share it.” Tsukasa added, placing his head on your shoulder and staring at your eyes. His gaze drifted to your hands when you brought the cup to your lips, then over to your throat as you struggled to swallow.

“Runt, if you don’t back away from them, you’ll the the one bothering them,” Natsuhiko spoke, raising his eyebrows at Tsukasa, then offering you a slightly concerned look. His expression was enough for you to know he wanted to know if you were alright- to which you shrugged, reaching up and patting the side of Tsukasa’s face.

“Don’t worry, guys. I’ll be fine, really.”

Sakura pondered for a moment, before standing. “Mitsuba, would you like to walk with me? I should go grab something.”

Mitsuba, who had been sitting off to the side- glanced up, his usual puppy-like expression on his face. “Sure,” He replied, standing up, practically in sync with Natsuhiko.

“I’ll go as well, my lady!”

Oh. She’s doing that on purpose.

Your eyes followed the trio as they left the room, and you could feel Tsukasa’s eyes still stuck on you. The moment the door shut, he spoke. “(Y/N), tell me what’s wrong. You don’t seem to enjoy being miserable!”

“Am I supposed to?” “You’re miserable then? What’s wrong, c’mon!!”

“I didn’t say I was- just that I don’t think many people like it,” You spoke, taking another sip from the tea. The warmth of it made your throat feel hot, but it didn’t help the lump stuck in it.

“(Y/N). Just admit to me what’s wrong, and I’ll do what I can!”

You sighed, not wanting to grow frustrated. Tsukasa was… trying. He just didn’t understand everything- the boy who enjoyed seeing people wear normally unpleasant expressions, of course he wouldn’t personally understand. He wanted to help you, but how could a ghost help? Much less, the ghost of a boy such as him?

“(Y/N)-” “I’m just dealing with some bullies. It’s fine, Tsukasa- I’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll kill them <3”

“Tsu-”

Tsukasa stepped away from you, crossing his arms. “So, (Y/N), you don’t like it when people bully you? I’ll take care of it! Promise!” “Stop it right there, Mr. Only-grants-wishes-for-the-dead. Don’t ‘take care of them.’ I just need to get enough confidence to tell a teacher or something…”

Tsukasa paused, pouting his lips slightly, before nodding. Quickly, he floated back over to you, and trapped you in a hug. His arms wrapped around you securely, making you feel rather safe for being in the arms of such a destructive boy. “Fine. I’ll go with you, then, (Y/N)! I’ll even hold your hand!! And I definitely won’t let those bullies bother you any more~.”

“Tsukasa, please, don’t do anything drastic-” “Whatever you say, (Y/N). You know I can’t go against the wishes of my cute partner~!”

[lunaastoir]

Hi! I really enjoy your writing so is it alright if i request xiao, diluc, childe with an idol s/o where one of their old stalkers come back or they just recently had a stalker in general but with how busy they were since they’re an idol they don’t even notice? And something bad happens (i cant think of anything</3) Thank you very much !!

hi anon!! a million apologies since this is so late but i hope you like the fic <3

there also aren’t any explicit details for anything bad happening - i briefly touched on subjects that you may not have control over, i hope that’s ok! 

warning (?): struggled a bit on this prompt so i apologize in advance if this isn’t my best work LMAOO

gn! reader

tw: hints of assault, slight angst, very light abuse if you squint

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

now xiao is a very observant man but he's also extremely busy keeping liyue safe

he makes it a point to always come to your shows even if you don't actively see him bc he cares a lot abt you and he enjoys listening to your music ‼️

it's normal for him to sometimes get lost between his own world of demonslaying and the world he shares w you

so one night, he's hanging on the rafters of a house with the perfect view of your singing

everything goes smoothly, he sets his spear down while lightly swaying his head to the music

the concert ends and fans disperse after you say your farewells

a night like this is rare since for once, xiao can walk home w you back to the inn sweet boy really cleared out his schedule for you huh

you're unsurprised when you see him materialize next to you, opting to flash him a smile and a hello

his cheeks are lightly flushed as he crosses his arms before talking quietly about how well you did

he relishes in the wide smile you give him as a result of his praise and he lets the corners of his lips curve upwards slightly

the quiet bustle of the harbor seemed to slow down as the night grew longer

since this was a fairly large concert, you had boxes among boxes of equipment so xiao decided to make your life easier by quickly flying them to their appropriate locations

when he got back however, he was surprised to see you talking animatedly with someone

he didn't think anything was wrong until he saw the person trap you between the stage and words filtered into his ears

your back was painfully pressed against the stage wall as you defiantly met their gaze. after xiao had left, they had immediately come over to you: first introducing themselves as a fan and making amiable conversation, before divulging in personal details of your life that made your skin crawl. you weren’t helpless, you always had your weapon on hand regardless of whether you were performing or not. the way they pushed you against the wall however, made it near impossible to summon your sword should you need it. 

they leered down at you while balancing an arm against the wall next to your head. you had dealt with things like this before so you weren’t overly worried; you could defend yourself. you almost felt pity for the person in front of you as they asked for your number with a sadistic grin, disgusting words tumbling off of their lips. however, that was before you felt their cold fingers idly make their way to your stomach and you felt your breath hitch. oh no

the telltale sound of whooshing alerted you of xiao’s presence, and the press of the tip of his spear against their jugular brought you relief. 

“back away” he tightly growled while his golden eyes narrowed into slits. they stared at him in shock before holding their hands up and moving to step a foot away from you. 

“farther” he motioned with his spear before stepping in front of you as you attempted to collect yourself. 

“ok ok, i’m far away can you put your spear down now?” 

“no.” 

you mentally cursed as you watched the two of them glare at each other. this was supposed to be a carefree night but this unfortunate twist made the air thick with tension. you could feel the anger radiate off of xiao in waves and in an effort to deescalate the situation, you spoke. 

“i’m glad to meet such an...avid fan but i’m sorry the two of us must get going now” you hastily said before attempting to grab xiao’s hand and walk off past them. 

the next words had you halt your steps as they divulged their secret. 

words painted in careless arrogance with hints of violet overconfidence flew out of the person’s mouth - “judging from the weeks i’ve been following you, it didn’t seem like you had a boyfriend”

at the mere mention of prolonged stalking, xiao immediately lunged to pull you behind him. god, he didn’t kill mortals but he swore if he plunged his spear into this human being right here, no one would even blink twice considering how low of a person they were. 

“if i ever see you near them again, i will not hesitate to kill you. i won’t blink twice, i already have blood on my hands.” he ground out.

at the threat, the person grudgingly turned their back to you before leaving the two of you alone in the quiet harbor. 

you carefully reached a hand out to touch your boyfriend’s shoulder, but stopped after you saw the expression on his face. the mix of rage, sadness, and anguish imprinted his features as you watched his chest rapidly rise and fall - a result of his emotional battle. 

“i’m sorry i didn’t notice them before. i should’ve been paying more attention to you” he whispered before silently striding away from your grasp 

you knew that no matter how many reassurances you gave him about how, “it’s not your fault xiao, i didn’t notice them either” he would still blame himself. 

he was supposed to protect you right? so why couldn’t he sense the danger beforehand? what would’ve happened if he wasn’t there?

it’s still a learning process for him to realize that things happen, and he inevitably couldn’t be there to save you from everything. he needs time to understand and adjust. you’re willing to wait, patiently helping him through it. why? because love is worth it. 

god im sorry this ended up kinda sad whoops

diluc 

i swear everytime i say i’m a childe simp diluc kinda wrecks me

ahem anyways onto the hc!

he’s kinda never around but similar to xiao he will overwork himself to clear out an hour or two just to watch your concerts 

he’ll always stand off to the side too so if you tilt your head while you’re singing you can spy his red hair 

you always flash him the sweetest smile and this man blushes like CRAZY before quickly lifting his hand up to give you a thumbs up 

everyone watching the both of you like 😍😦

people think it’s the cutest thing i swear like c’mon the elusive “bachelor of mondstadt” being seen in public supporting you??? wow pls can we share him

he walks with you back to the winery, the entire time linking his hands with yours while gushing about your performance 

1939248/10 it’s literally the sweetest thing 

the next day however, adelinde brings you a pink letter addressed to you 

he doesn’t pry because it’s addressed to you and it’s your business but as the letters start coming by everyday, he starts to grow curious 

one day he straight up just asks you about it

“hey, you know those pink letters you keep getting? who are they from?”

you laugh slightly at his bashfulness and respond with a “just some overexcited fan” and he smiles before kissing your forehead 

he loves that people are noticing your talent 

loves it! until you get stalked by the same person who wrote you those letters while you were shopping!

diluc knows something’s wrong when you rush into angel’s share panicked after not returning his usual smile. 

“darling? are you ok?” he asks worriedly before quickly setting down the glass he was cleaning to move towards you. 

the widening of your eyes as you looked behind you at the sounds of someone else entering was all he needed to swiftly step in front of you, blocking their gaze of your face. 

the slightly panicked look in your eyes before you hurriedly whispered, “they’re following me” made diluc glance at them subtly out of the corner of his eye. he watched as they walked over to find a seat next to the bar, seemingly ready to order a drink. he quietly asked if you would like to sit in the room reserved for the employees, away from their prying eyes. your hasty nod was all the confirmation he needed for him to let you access the door behind him. 

the night went by fairly smoothly with kaeya’s usual teasing and venti’s usual begging for alcohol. diluc’s eyes narrowed however, when the person seemed to ask him questions regarding you. things like, “i heard you’re dating y/n... they’re amazing, how long have you been together?” and “do they live with you at dawn winery?” diluc answered these questions as short as he could, trying to convey with his body language that he truly did not want to talk to them. 

everything was going well until he made the mistake of leaving the bar unattended. he had briefly forgotten about your residence in the room behind him as his mind immediately gravitated to breaking up a brawl. when he returned, the half drunk glass of liquor combined with the person’s absence from their seat, caused sparks of worry to light up inside his chest. 

turning to the door, he knocked once. 

“is everything alright in there love?”

the sounds of things rustling about and the occasional muffled voice had him opening the door quickly. he saw you with your arm being held tightly in their grasp, your mouth muffled with their hand, while you strained against them by pulling at your arm. 

diluc immediately made his way over to you, quickly pulling your arm away before letting you enter into his embrace. 

“get out.” the venomous words clawed their way out of his throat as he looked at them with eyes that screamed hatred. his blood was boiling as his mind replayed the scene; your scared expression and their greedy eyes. 

diluc didn’t need to repeat himself twice as they ran out, trying not to trip over crates of wine. he made a mental note to find out who they were in order to make sure they never came near you ever again. 

he quickly looked down at your form, relaxing slightly at the sight of your tentative smile. “my knight in shining armor” you joked before softly nuzzling your head into his shoulder. the anger had yet to dissipate from his veins, and although he knew you were still shaken up, he was sure you would be fine. 

a pink letter placed on the table next to you caught his eye, and he made sure to quickly pocket it as he led you out, gently jesting with you about the “unnecessary amount of wine barrels in here, diluc this is a safety hazard!” 

he would deal with this person later. 

childe

ayo AYO ITS THE TOY SALESMAN

ok tbh he’s very rarely around so he unfortunately cannot make it to all of your shows 

dw tho, he will try his hardest to be there for the ones he’s in town for bc what is he if not your number one hype king??? 

ok kinda creepy! alert 

he’s tasked two of his subordinates to keep watch over you whenever he’s out of the harbor

it’s not anything creepy,,, he just gets extremely worried abt you and wants to make sure you’re safe 

sO when he gets a ransom note??? he’s understandably confused but also very much freaked out 

bc did they not know who he was??? the fact that they thought they could get away with holding you captive was quite honestly kind of funny to him 

very stressed and angry tho - hides it behind a facade of smiles but he’s raging 

takes him only a few hours to track you down bc he had everyone and i mean EVERYONE looking for you 

the note crunched in his hand as the harbinger made his way towards windrise. his pace was erratic, long legs rushing towards the small cave his agents had found. they were bordering the perimeter of the enclosure, careful to not alert you or your captor of their presence. childe’s subordinate head had calmly stated that childe need not come out to rescue you, the situation was under control and they could do it for him. however, childe’s sharp gaze along with his sickly sweet words of “thanks but no. i’m coming out to see this sorry asshole for myself” had the agent backing away apologizing. he wanted to see the look on this person’s face before he shoved their sorry ass into the abyss himself. 

as he reached the opening of the cave, he glanced over his shoulder at his head agent; a silent warning to keep the area sealed. his blue eyes glinted with a thirst for blood before making his way into the cave, sealing off the exit with his body. 

“well well, playing games with the love of my life are we?” 

his teasing words reached your ears as your eyes immediately found the face of your boyfriend. you weren’t horribly scared, just a little shaken up and sore from the bindings on your wrists. relief coursed through your body at the sight of him. you needn’t put in your plan of getting out of these bindings to fight your captor yourself anymore. 

childe’s eyes quickly scanned over your frame, making sure you weren’t hurt. at the state of you completely unharmed, the harbinger let his heart calm down slightly. you were completely ok. 

“wait a little longer, love? i promise this will be over soon”

the wink he sent you had you lightly rolling your eyes at his antics before he directed his attention back to your kidnapper. if your captor wasn’t scared before, they were certainly shaking in their boots now at the sight of childe’s twin hydro blades rotating playfully in his hands. 

“listen, all i want is the money-”

“and all i want is your head” 

your boyfriend smiled after cutting them off. the severity of the situation truly seemed to sink in at that moment before pleas of mercy fell from your captor’s lips, desperate to escape the bloodthirsty gaze of the harbinger. childe’s eyes flickered over to yours where you sat there, with your head ferociously shaking. a silent “no.” he sighed before swiftly bringing his arm up to hit your captor on the head, effectively knocking them out cold. 

his hands worked at the ropes holding you and he gingerly rubbed at your bruised wrists. you silently thanked the archons he could never say no to you. archons forbid what would've happened if you hadn’t said anything. while you were explaining what happened, the young man quickly scooped you up in his arms before walking out of the cave. 

you playfully hit his shoulder while muttering “drama queen” but you stopped when you saw his face morph into an expression of seriousness. you had informed him on the situation about your captor revealing themselves to be a recent stalker of yours, completely oblivious to the look of frustration on his face as he freed you from your bondages. 

“i was scared you know.” he quietly divulged. “i knew that it wasn’t anything extremely serious but i... i was still scared”

you swore as you looked at him in that moment, he had turned ten again. the youth of his face betraying his vulnerability. 

you quietly hummed before tangling your fingers in his hair. “i hope you know it wasn’t your fault. it wasn’t anyone’s fault. not even the two fatui agents who you sent to stalk me while you were away.”

he quietly laughed at that before mentally filing away a reminder for a lecture to those two agents in the near future. 

“i’m just glad you’re safe. i know you can save yourself but i’ll always be here. i still wish you would let me take care of your asshole kidnapper myself though.” he pouted jokingly. 

“i’m sure the millelith will lock them up for a long time.” you laughed sweetly. 

his usual smile reappeared at your antics. maybe he didn’t get to beat your captor up and do...much worse. however at the end of the day, your smile was still intact regardless of what happened. that’s all he wanted. 

[halstudandruz]

Research Purposes ~ Part 3

*Gif: Not mine; credit to @thompsonconnors

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader/ Adam Ruzek x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: What happened after Adam catches you and Jay? Part 1 (18+) here /// Part 2 here

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: I used some dialogue from S6E10, but the rest of the episode doesn’t pertain

A/N 2: Wouldn’t you all be pissed if I ended up putting the reader with Ruzek 😂

You and Jay were on his couch silently eating pizza and watching Hulu. Not having said very many words to each other in the last two hours.

“I didn’t want him to find out that way.” You eventually broke the silence. Jay reached for the remote pausing the show to turn and face you as you sat up away from where you were cuddled into his side. “I mean I wasn’t ecstatic about him sleeping with Hailey, but if he would’ve just told me and been upfront about it I think I could’ve handled it better.” You admitted.

“So you wouldn’t have slept with me in other words?” He joked making you chuckle.

“Oh I still would’ve done that.” You smiled.

“I think he just didn’t want to hurt you. You know Adam. That would have never been his intention.” Jay replied.

“Well no I don’t think he did it on purpose, but I just turned around and did the same thing to him. What if he thinks it was out of spite?” You sighed.

“You don’t have any obligations to each other any more, [Y/N].” Jay shook his head.

“I know it’s hard for you to understand, and it’s hard for me to explain to be honest. You have to remember we were engaged. It wasn’t some fling. Our relationship was serious. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to have a family with him, and when it ended it hurt like hell. I know I don’t have any obligation to him, but in order to see him everyday. Work with him everyday. There has to be a different kind of respect, a different kind of… regard for each other than we have with everyone else or it won’t work.” You tried to explain.

“Then why didn’t you just tell him about us?” Jay finally asked.

“Because I don’t even know what’s going on here.” You laughed, “I mean are we just fucking? Cause if that’s the case we should be doing a lot more of it.” You pointed out, reminding him how more and more nights have ended in just a cuddle session in his bed.

“You know I’m not good with emotions and saying how I feel, [Y/N].” He sighed, “I honestly didn’t expect for this to happen. One night of fun turned into wanting you here every night. Ya know? Regardless of whether it ended in us sleeping together or you just... in my arms.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Jay, if they go up in flames and Hailey comes running to you where does that leave me?” You eventually asked the question that had been pegging you for the last few weeks.

“You know that’s not fair to ask me when I could ask you the same thing.” He replied.

“You don’t think I know that?” You questioned, head falling into your hands, “I don’t know, Jay. Okay? I-I don’t know!”

“What are you saying?” He pushed.

“I’m saying maybe it shouldn’t be this hard.” You shook your head, emotions running through you, tense silence falling between you two again. “I’m really tired.” You admitted, leaning your head against the back of the couch.

“Alright come on let’s go to bed.” He stood up turning the tv off and moving to clean your plates up.

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” You asked, biting at your lip and he turned to give you an incredulous look.

“Why would you think I would want that? You know I sleep better with you beside me.” He replied making you smile, body feeling just a little bit lighter.

“Yeah me too.” You agreed, helping him clean a little before going through your bedtime routines comfortably. Sliding naturally into his body once you laid down.

“Goodnight, baby.” Jay whispered into your hair laying a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Goodnight.” You said, returning a light kiss onto his chest, nuzzling further into his arms.

“Come on [Y/N] you gotta get up.” Jay tried to wake you with soft kisses across your neck and shoulder. Groaning you didn’t move, “I promise I let you sleep as long as possible.”

“Can we just get my car registered for a spot already?” You whined.

“You’re the one that said that was and I quote “testing our luck and a waste of money.”” He teased.

“I will give my life savings for ten more minutes of sleep.” You replied, sinking further back into Jay’s warm chest.

“No, no, no!” He lectured rolling away from you.

“Ugh, fine.” You grumbled pulling yourself out of his bed turning to see him lying in only his boxers, “Are you trying to provoke me?” You gestured to his body causing him to chuckle.

“If I wanted to provoke you I could do a hell of a lot better than this.” He smirked, “Plus I already got my own shower this morning so no go.” He shooed you away getting up to riffle through his dresser. Rolling your eyes you trudged to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

The ride to the district was filled with a comfortable silence, the tension from the night before gone. He put his truck in park after pulling up behind your car.

“Just so you know I’m gonna stay at my place tonight.” You informed him, reaching for the door handle.

“What? Why?” He practically whined, but a nervous tone seeped in as well.

“Because I see you all day everyday and I would like to binge a carton of ice cream without your judging eyes on me the entire time.” You joked.

“I do not judge you.” He defended.

“Uh huh of course not babe. See you in a few.” You leaned over to give him a quick kiss before climbing out of the truck.

When you got to the district Trudy whistled to you summoning you over. You stood in front of it, hands clasped together on her desk. “Goodmorning.” You stated cautiously.

“Wanna tell me why rebel without a cause looks like someone pissed in his coffee this morning?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“No, I do not.” You replied.

“Well then just a friendly warning to step cautiously today.” She looked back down at her desk nodding her head towards the steps.

“Yeah..thanks Sarge.” You sighed moving to buzz in. You could feel the edginess when you entered the bullpen, but you couldn’t tell who else had noticed it. “Goodmorning.” You mumbled passing everyone on the way to your desk. Luckily everyone was able to work normally despite the obvious agitation in Adam’s demeanor, but per Platt’s advice you stayed out of his way as much as possible.

“Alright so we do it the old-fashioned way. Farm it off. Every beat cop and CTA worker, get every gang and tact unit across the city. If someone knows this guy, that picture’s gonna be enough to spark it. Ruzek, you run it past Mark.” Hank ordered before moving back into his office. Everyone nodded moving towards Jay’s desk to make plans. Adam moved off on his own and out of the corner of your eye you watched Hailey follow behind him. Sighing you looked back to Kevin making mental notes of the plan he was laying out to Jay.

“Alright let’s roll.” Kevin shrugged on his jacket when you heard yelling in the distance. The three of you exchanged confused glances before you easily picked up Adam’s voice.

“It’s Adam and Hailey. They’re downstairs.” You informed the two men, detouring your route to hurrying down the steps, their voices only getting louder as you made your way towards them.

“I’m not gonna talk about policing with you again!” Adam’s distinct voice carried.

“I care about you, I care about you and I-“ Hailey fought back, stopping to turn when she noticed the three of you enter the room.

“We can hear you guys in the stairwell. What the hell are you doing?” Jay asked, looking between the two. Hailey looking guilty and Adam standing at defense, restlessness clear in his frame, from more than just the conversation you were guessing.

“Nothing. It’s fine. Sorry.” Hailey cleared her throat, shaking her head.

“You cannot be having this conversation here. It’s not the time or place.” Jay warned, glancing back up the steps.

“Oh but it’s a perfectly fine place for you to stick your tongue down [Y/N]’s throat?” Adam bit back and you watched Hailey’s eyes go wide flicking between all of you.

“What?” She asked and the look in her eyes at the information pinged a feeling of jealousy deep in your stomach.

“Oh yeah you didn’t know?” Adam took a step towards Jay, anger radiating off of him.

“Watch yourself. Who do you think you're talking to?” Jay straightened his body, jaw clenched.

“I’m not scared of you, Halstead. I’m not some rookie straight out of the academy anymore.” Adam pointed out.

“All of you, cool it.” Kevin whispered harshly stepping between the two men, ”unless you want Voight to find out whatever is going on here I suggest you all get back to what you were supposed to be doing.” He ordered. Adam threw you a cold glare before maneuvering around Kevin and heading up the stairs.

“We’re supposed to be out securing an ID.” Jay grumbled stalking out of the door, Hailey following behind slowly.

“To be a fly on the wall in that car.” Kevin winced looking back to you.

“Yeah.” You laughed dryly. Starting to walk towards the parking lot.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine.” He tried to reassure you once he slipped into the driver's seat, starting the engine. Kevin knew more of what was going on then anybody else did. You and him had been partners in crime since your first day at the district and even before that in the academy. Your partnership was comfortable and he knew you better than most people. You had each other’s backs always, and even though he was best friends with Adam, who had without a doubt been chirping in his ear about his discovery the night prior, Kevin always remained neutral. So, you knew he would lay it straight for you. He found out about you and Jay the Monday after it had happened. You were pretty good at hiding stuff, but not with him. He could read you like a book.

“This is such a fucking mess.” You huffed watching out the window.

“Well I’m certainly not going to tell you you’re wrong there.” He agreed blatantly, “You should’ve been more careful.”

“You don’t think I know that, Kev? But it’s done now. He knows and I have to find a way to deal with it. I don’t even understand why he’s so mad. He’s doing the same thing with her, and I didn’t act like a jealous teenager when I found out. What he just did was unnecessary.” You sighed heavily knowing that there was more to the story. “I know he’s going through more than just this. I can tell this case is getting to him and he’s struggling and honestly it kills me that I can’t be there for him. It kills me every time I can’t help him through it. I miss him and what we had, but maybe it is for the best. But.. I don’t fucking know! How am I supposed to know?” You slammed a fist against the dashboard and Kevin didn’t even flinch. Adam was impulsive and had a short fuse, but what had happened a few minutes prior was not something Adam would do on a normal day.

“So, what are going to do about it?” Kevin asked looking over at you expectantly, but all that came was silence. You didn’t know. Did Adam still want to be with you? Was that why he was so angry or was it just a lingering reaction? If he was jealous, if this thing between you the two of you was still a possibility then what? Plus Hailey knew now. What if that pushed her in a direction you didn’t want her to go? Maybe it opened her eyes. Maybe she was confessing her feelings to Jay right now in his truck and that scared you. An uncomfortable selfish feeling radiated through your body at the thought. The unknown was starting to terrify you. The possibilities, the factors, all of it was too much and you weren’t sure how it was going to play out.

You had finished the case getting out of the district at a decent time that day. Which you were glad for. The room was starting to feel too small. You needed space to breathe and room to think. Which is exactly what you did. For hours until you came to a conclusion. You loved both of them, but in the end you knew who you wanted, who you needed.

You couldn’t keep dragging them around like this. Dragging yourself around like this. You were going to figure it out and you were going to face it head on. Walking up to his door your heart was racing. You had already made up your mind, but that didn’t mean you weren’t scared to actually face it. Taking a deep breath your knuckles lightly rapped the door. How were you supposed to tell someone you loved you didn’t want to be with them? Shifting on your feet you couldn’t help, but chew on your lip, anxiety only heightening when the door swung open.

“We need to talk.”

All Taglist:

@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @grettiwrites @inlovewith3 @wanniiieeee

Jay Taglist:

@jayxhalsteadx @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @toomuchtv95 @queen-of-arda @sofferderynnp

Taglist for series: @miranda0102 @5sos-imagine @5hundreddaysofsummer @a-f-f-a-n-c-u-l-o

[liptonsbabe]

Chains of a family [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Grant! reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Summary: Molly thinks that Bill’s and the reader relationship is a mistake so she wants them apart from each other. Bill’s against his mother wishes and he find a way to drag the reader into the Weasley family officialy

Word count: 1.9K

Warnings: none

A/N: Hi! Part 4 of this thing lol. I’m so happy that you guys like this story. It’ll have like 20 chapters or so, i’m still deciding that so yeah, that’s pretty much the thing. Btw, from now on chapters will be more interestings... i hope so lol. Again, english not my mother language. Please let me know if something’s wrong. Aaaaaand if you want to be tagged in the next chapters tell me and i will add you! Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Arguments

The rest of the afternoon passed as normal as the days before your arrival. Arthur Weasley made sure of it. Even if Molly attacked you with her dagger gaze when you and Bill hugged each other after you were done with dessert.

You didn’t know what Mr. Weasley had talked about with his wife while you were taking a shower, however, you noticed the tension rising from their bodies after you sat down at the table next to Bill and saw an annoyance sign on Molly’s lips. Her temple was frowned, reminding you of your own mother's gestures. Those flaming eyes, cleft chin, and pinion lips. Both women contract their features too much when they were upset and in your distress, you knew that they must not be disturbed.

The last thing you wanted was to hurt a marriage as solid as the Weasley's. More than once you heard your mother talk about it with your nanny making a powerful emphasis on how Molly and Arthur were able to carry out their marriage even if their economic conditions were precarious and the war was on their heels. They were an envied couple. Few dared to expand the family as much as they did without money in their pockets and spreading their progeny like a plague. No one was surprised, not even your mother, not when her marriage to Evan Grant was merely for financial advantage. Now Arthur and Molly looked upset, too upset for your understanding and you just hoped they could get along soon.

You weren't sure you deserved the sacrifice Bill's father had made for you, yet a flame of hope lit up in your chest. If Mr. Weasley started to trust you that was a good sign for others to do as well, right?

The afternoon continued as normal, seeing how Bill's plans to distract you from the fervent harassment of his mother was marred by the twins intervention. They had just finished a new product for their store and needed a good taster to certify the quality of their merchandise. It was a bad idea, he told himself, because twins were just a disaster and you didn't know them well enough to deny their good-natured pretensions.

"Be kind!" He yelled at them as Fred and George pulled you into their. Bill exhaled, pleading that his brothers wouldn't bother his girlfriend more than his mother already had.

Before taking you home, he thought about the pros and cons of your stay in the burrow. His conclusion was based on the fact that his entire family welcomed Harry Potter with open arms, so you didn't have to be the exception. He knew the difference in conditions in which his theory developed, yet he put his trust in the good judgment of his family even if the Grants' past left much to be desired. Bill didn't talk much about you with his mother, in fact, your presence at home was the last of his worries, the real problem came at the time of joining the Order of the Phoenix, would you be willing to fight against your relatives even if that mean betraying your own blood? Bill hope you will

Coming downstairs, Bill found his mother storing the leftover food in the fridge while the dishes soaked in the sink. Then he watched her clean each plate with her bare hands, no magic. William knew his anger was real.

"Want some help with that?"

"I'd love to, honey, thank you," his mother answered without looking at him. Bill raised the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows, dipping his hands into the tide of water and bubbles that flew across the kitchen. Molly was silent, drying the dishes and flying them to her place in the display case across the kitchen. Bill cleared his throat doubtfully "It never hurts to help, much less when I have so many things to do before the rest of the Order arrive"

"Don't worry, I'll help you with that too."

"Perfect"

"Mom, can we talk?"

"About what?

"You know what," Bill clicked his tongue, passing her the last plate from the sink to continue with the spoons. "(Y/N)..."

"Your father has scolded me enough about that girl, I don't need you to do it too"

"I wouldn't if you had a little consideration with her."

"More consideration?" Molly asked in a squeak. Bill shook his head. "I'm letting her stay at my home!"

"Our home, mom, ours," he corrected, drying his hands with a cloth. "This house also belongs to my dad, my brothers, and me. It's the burrow, a family property, not a secret club where some people can get in and others cannot."

"You know what I think of her"

"And you know I don't care." Molly looked scandalized at her son. She didn't understand what he had seen in someone like you or what you had given him to come out and defend you as he did "I don't ask you to love her, but at least you have to try...

"Have you ever wondered what will happen when she betrays us?"

"That's not gonna happen"

"You're very sure of that, William"

"I'm convinced, Mom. You don't know her like I do and, you know what? I see that wanting to talk to you was a mistake"

"Moody thinks like me," Molly stopped him when Bill was ready to go upstairs. The woman clung to the railing watching her son standing in the first step out of the kitchen "(Y/N) Grant is a danger to the Order"

"Really? Like Mundungus Fletcher? I beg your pardon, mom, but if there is anyone who represents a latent danger to the Order of the Phoenix, it's him and yet you have assigned him for the mission tonight"

Molly's lips parted and if it weren't for the fact that Bill knew her mother too well, he might think the woman was about to throw herself on the floor in a tantrum. Still, she clenched the bars tightly, her brow furrowed, and the redness on her cheeks washed over her forehead.

"William!" Don't talk to me like that!"

"I wouldn't if you had a little more respect for my girlfriend."

"Don't you understand? I care about you! For all of us!" She snarled angrily. "Having a Riddle in this house..."

"A Grant, mom, (Y/N) is a Grant and that's not the same." Bill descended his steps, approaching her mother, returning that angry look that she had inherited from him. It was a strange sensation. A dyad of emotions between joy and fear where the composed emotion was guilt. He had never exploded that way with his mother, but Molly hadn't behaved that way with anyone either "His grandfather is Lord Voldemort's half-brother and his brothers are all Death Eaters, what does it matter? (Y/N) is not. And when do we judge others by where they come from? If so, we could start with half of us. Being a Weasley is equivalent to being a blood traitor"

"William!"

Molly's face went from fury to shock to fury again. Bill's eyes were twinkling and Molly swore she had never seen any of her children this angry, or worse, this determined.

"What would you have done, Mom?" Bill questioned taking his mother by his arms in an attempt to make him feel her despair. Molly opened her eyes, scared. "When your family tell you not to accept dad? When your brothers object to your engagement, just 'cause the Weasleys have long been considered blood traitors?"

For the first time that day Molly's mind went blank, Bill guessed, rewinding the memories of how difficult it was for the Prewetts to accept the marriage. Bill pleaded silently, but pulled away from her when his mother gave no indication to be a little more respectful with you.

"We aren't like that. We don't separate people by where they come from, we hug them" Bill resumed his way towards the stairs, stopping a couple of steps up, turning to take a look at Molly's stunned figure "As you did with Hermione, Remus and Harry when you and Dad became his godparents after Sirius died. (Y/N) is no different"

"She will turn her back on us when the Order fight the Grants. That moment will come and you know it"

"Don't worry, i'll make sure that doesn't happen"

"She is not part of this family"

"That can be solved very easily," he said and the smile he wore gave her a terrible chill down her spine. "Because I'm going to ask her to be my wife."

Molly's gasp was the only thing Bill heard before climbing the stairs and heading to the twins' room. He always respected his mother a lot and even thinking of opposing to her wishes was inconceivable, but your well-being was something that was involved and Bill couldn't just let her mother control his life at her will. Maybe the mistake he made was not telling his parents the truth about you from the start or, in that case, mentioning that the woman he loved was the fucking niece of the strongest fucking dark wizard of all time.

Bill Weasley rubbed his face as he reached the twins' door. He no longer had to torment himself, it was done and the only thing pending at the moment was to get Harry out of his uncles' house, take him safely to the burrow and find the courage to do what he told his mother he would do.

Would you agree to marry him? He hoped so and if not, he wouldn't pressure you. You were young - even a little younger than him - and it would be understandable if you refused to tie your life to someone else's from one moment to the other. The war progressed every day and if you were going to do it, you would do it as soon as possible.

Loud laughings brought him out of his thoughts to observe you and his brothers sitting on the floor, right in the center of both beds, laughing at each other and touching your faces. From the doorway Bill can't see the full painted room, however George's face showed a rather abstract mural full of bright colors when he felt the presence of his older brother. Fred did the same showing his face in the same situation and then you turned to Bill, still laughing and your face smeared with paint. It seemed the twins had created a paint bomb in millimeter pills, that explode when you put a little bit of pressure. You tried to clean yourself with the sleeve of your sweater but you spread the paint even more. Fred and George laughed and so did Bill.

His heart swelled with love as he saw that at least someone in his family - besides him and his father - had hope in you. God, he may have even cried with happiness.

Bill never understood how a sunshine as beautiful as you was never accepted in your entire life.

Tags:

@purple-vodka-99

@vampirestrawberries

Thanks for the 100 followers!❤

[mae-gi-writes]

Take Me Back | Sunwoo (The Boyz)

Requested by anon! You broke up with Sunwoo because of long distance and he’s hated you ever since. When you meet up after three years, feelings resurface. 

Genre: angst, ex to lovers au, enemies to lovers kinda, fluffy ending.

A/N: JESUS i know I said that I don’t have time because I LITERALLY DON’T. So don’t ask me why all this inspiration comes to me when I can’t even sit down to write -- I write on the way to and from work, it’s so sad -- so yeah. I hope you enjoy <3 <3 

---------

Breaking up because of long distance was one of the biggest regrets of your life. The fact that you had to let him go because it was just getting too hard for your heart to cope was, in itself, heartbreaking. But you figured that it could get better, for the both of you, if you moved on with your lives without being tied at the hip with someone that was a continent away.

Except, the moment you had murmured your silent goodbyes, you had broken down into the most horrible, heartbreaking sobs that had ravaged your entire body. You cried and cried and cried, and wouldn't stop. The tears just wouldn't stop even when you told yourself that it was better this way, that he'd find someone better, stronger, it did nothing to ease the burning pain pulling your heartstrings apart.

One thing was for sure, Sunwoo's behaviour made things much easier. He'd grown distant first, curt and cold and isolating you, though you knew deep down it was a way to protect his own heart from the damage you'd inflicted on him.

But then he started ignoring your messages, spoke rudely whenever you did catch him on the phone. While you tried being understanding the first few times, you soon grew frustrated and annoyed that he'd act so childishly. The man you had once loved with all your heart had now been reduced to nothing but someone who kept digging holes into your heart.

You juggled the thought of asking him whether he hated your guts for what you did. You wouldn't judge him. On the contrary, you'd understand.

But you hadn't. Merely because the thought of losing him forever pained you.

Fast forward three years and here you were, sitting in a restaurant with a group of your high school friends, Sunwoo included. He'd nodded curtly at your appearance but did nothing more, causing your heart to squeeze in pain at the nostalgia kicking through your stomach.

"It's been years, Y/N. And you look the same," one of your good friends, Eric, jovially stated with a wink, already down by a few beers.

"Thanks Eric, I'll take that as a compliment."

"Don't go hitting on Sunwoo's ex with him right here," your classmate Raina said, "let's not end this dinner in a fight."

"I don't think Sunwoo minds," you mumbled loud enough for it to reach everyone's ears.

"You're right, I don't care," Sunwoo's voice -- still as deep, still as gorgeously beautiful and rough. An obvious contrast to the iciness of his words like pricks aimed at your heart.

You tried your best to brush off his comment, turning to Raina to ask her about any updates about her love life.

As the night wore on and people fell into deeper conversation, others left with excuses that they had spouses to return to, families waiting for them. Until there's only you and Eric in a corner, with Sunwoo at the bar, chatting up a gorgeous girl that looked like she had just walked out of a magazine spread.

"Still doesn't wanna talk huh?" Eric took a swig of his drink.

You shook your head, "he hates me, Eric."

"No he doesn't."

"Yes, he does.He can't even look at me in the eye without scowling."

"Bollocks. You just don't see it."

"What's there to see?" You scoffed, "if killing me was legal he would've done it ages ago."

Hesitating slightly, Eric takes another swig of his drink before replying, "look, I can't speak for him. But...you'll just have to talk to him yourself."

"Fuck no, I'm not doing that," you crossed your arms over your chest.

"Stubbornness never looked good on anyone."

You pulled out your tongue in response.

"Childish," Eric's eyebrow rose in amusement. Before you could defend yourself though, the said man turned to call out Sunwoo's name and you watched in growing horror as Sunwoo walked over to your table.

"Right," Eric jumped up from his seat as though it was on fire, "Sunwoo, keep her company. I'm off to see my girlfriend."

"What? No--" but Eric was already out of the door before Sunwoo's protests were heard, resulting in an awkward air hanging off your table the moment he turned, causing you to quickly drop your eyes to the beer you were nursing.

"You don't have to stay here," came your mumble.

You felt him shift in his seat before he said, "even if I am, I'm not doing this for you."

"I know," you shot back, gaze flitting up to clash with his mahogany orbs, ones that you remembered held so much love and tenderness before. They were now cold, dark with silent seething anger. You continued, "I know you're not. I never asked you to."

"Then stopping looking at me like that," he snapped, "you of all people should know how tough this is for me."

"Sunwoo, it's been three years--"

"Don't," he cut you off with a hiss, "talk about that."

Rage started to bubble in your stomach, "I don't understand whether you hate me, or whether you’ve just turned into this rude annoying person that nobody can stand.”

He seemed to have been slapped by your statement, stayed silent for a few minutes as he clasped his drink a little tighter.

Knowing Sunwoo, he was probably silently seething from what you'd just said. Your own fingers clenched around your beer, hating how easily he could upset you even after all these years.

When he spoke next, his alto was slightly softer, a little less harsh on you, "I don't hate you."

"Doesn't seem like it to me."

There was a pause in which you managed to recollect your emotions, the anger simmering down to cold remorse at how badly you had left things.

"I'm sorry," you murmured out, avoiding his eyes in case he saw the pain that consumed you, "I know it's not easy for you. It's not easy for me either."

"I don't hate you, Y/N," Sunwoo's alto was gentle this time, without any of the malice of the earlier hour, "I...It just hurts me, every time I see you I can't stop thinking of what we were before. I--" he shifted and you managed to lift your orbs up to his, only to see guilt swimming through his as he choked out, "I miss you."

Emotion tightened your chest. Tears rushed to your eyes, "I miss you too."

You stayed unmoving, your eyes saying everything that your words couldn't. The music boomed around you, filled the empty silence that would've swallowed you whole otherwise.

When you felt your ex-boyfriend move in your peripheral, you glanced at him, noticing for the first time the tired lines around his eyes. What looked like resignation was set on his face.

And then he was pushing his hair back, muttering a string of excuses about how he couldn't do this anymore before he walked right out of the bar, with you gaping at his retreating form.

"Sunwoo! Hey--" you scrambled up to chase after him, stumbling over your feet as you gripped your bag clumsily. Running out into the street to see him already steps ahead of you, you quickly jogged up to his frame, not taking into account the nervous fluttering through your chest.

"Hey, wait! Sunwoo!" You gripped onto his arm and pulled him back. He resisted.

You started blurting things out anyway, desperate to make things right, desperate to take away the pain he felt.

"Sunwoo I'm sorry," you stumbled on as he quickened his stride, "I never--I never meant to hurt you, I-- I thought that it was best for both of us at the time, I didn't--" your words were choked, laced with emotion, "I didn't know how hard it would be."

He stopped so abruptly you almost walked into his back.

His shoulders shook as he spoke, "when we broke up, I couldn't stop thinking. Did I do something wrong? Should I have done more?" He took a breath, "I wasn't living, Y/N. I barely ate. I kept seeing you everywhere I went. It was-- it was horrible," his alto broke at the last word.

You took a step closer. Tentative. Hesitant. Hands tightened into fists.

He continued, "and it never got better. I thought it would. That's what they all said. But three years have passed. Three years and I still feel like I lost the most precious fucking thing in my life and I can't live with myself because of that."

You couldn't feel your heart, which was tightening with pain and sympathy that mirrored his words. Memories of you crying into your pillow as you willed all of your love to disappear, memories of the dull ache stretching across your ribs because you had cried too much.

You opened your mouth, an apology on the tip of your tongue, when Sunwoo swivelled around so fast you barely blinked, his hands finding your shoulders in a tight grip.

"Y/N," His eyes were red and red-rimmed as they searched yours in growing desperation, "look Y/N, what I had-- what we had, I miss that. I miss us. Please, I--" swallowing thickly as his grip tightened on you, he continued, "you can do anything. Anything, Y/N. Break me. Use me. Do whatever the fuck you want but just-- just--" his chest heaved with a shaky inhale, a sob echoing from his throat, "just let me be yours again."

The silence that followed was deafening. You couldn't believe your ears. Your heart beat so loud you felt it vibrate against your ribcage.

His chest heaved, his breaths coming out short and static as he stared at you, waiting, hoping.

There were so many things, so many things you wished to say at this very moment, so many things that you had regretted the moment you had parted ways with this amazing man.

And now, to hear that he wanted you back, that he was still undoubtedly, irrevocably in love with you was enough to bring fresh tears to your eyes as another wave of pure hope crashed through your heart and flooding it with light. 

"Y/N," Sunwoo searched your eyes, "say something--"

You did. Jumped up to press your mouth against his.

He stumbled, hands finding purchase at your waist.

And when he kissed you back, all thoughts flew out of your head only to leave Sunwoo's taste engulfing your entire being like you had never stopped loving him from the first day you met.

It was pure, utter bliss. It was like finding the lost lover that had parted ways with you at sea. Sunwoo's mouth was hard on your own as he moved with the same grace, the same fluidity that left you breathless. His grip tightened, fingers sliding under the hem of your shirt to rest on your lower back as sparks ignited beneath your half-closed lids. Everything came crashing back; the memories, the happiness, the giddy excitement that erupted in the form of goosebumps and electrical sizzles over your limbs whenever Sunwoo kissed you.

It had never stopped. And at this very moment, you wondered briefly why you had forced him away when your heart was still irrevocably his.

One hand coming up to cup your jaw, he proceeded to tilt your head back to suckle onto your lower lip, the action causing a gasp to die in your throat while your hands tightened around his neck, pulling him even closer if that was possible.

Sunwoo's chest rumbled with a choked up moan, tongue darting out to meet yours halfway while a soft whimper echoed through your throat. You tried to match his movements, to kiss back as passionately as he was kissing you. But it was almost like Sunwoo was trying his best to make up for all the time you's spent apart, his mouth permanently pressed on yours and when you turned to catch your breath, he kissed your cheek, the corner of your eye, pulling you into him to imprint another kiss at the base of your neck.

You shuddered with emotion, body lighting up on fire and heat pooling through your stomach. Turning your head back until your noses brushed, your breath caught when your eyes locked, for Sunwoo's gaze was one of fierce, intense affection, as though you were something he'd sworn to protect his whole life.

"Don't," his gaze softened, thumb brushing your lower lip, "don’t ever leave me again, I--” his own lips trembled, "I don't know how...how I'll live with myself if you do."

You knew that words were going to be useless at this point, so you just nodded, biting down on your lower lip as he leaned in and dropped a kiss near your temple.

It was weird after so long, to have his body so close and his scent overwhelming your senses, a reminder of many long nights where you'd cuddled up to sleep on his chest. Just the memory made your lips tilt into a soft amile.

That grabbed his attention, "what are you thinking about?" He murmured.

"About you," your soft maroon clash with his intense dark chocolate, "about how stupid it was to have given up on us, because all this time apart feels like a waste. And I feel so stupid."

"It's not your fault Y/N," he smoothed a hand over the side of your head as his gaze softened, "there were so many things working against us. And maybe-- maybe it was right, at this time."

Your head tilted upwards to watch him. You felt his fingers, absentmindedly drumming against your lower back and igniting a line of sparks up your spine.

He continued, "I wouldn't have known, how important you were to me, how you filled up such a major part of my life--Oh shit. You're crying?" He was quick to catch your incoming tear with his thumb, panic flashing through his features, "Y/N? What is it? What did I say?” 

“Nothing, it’s nothing I just--I’m so sorry I broke up with you,” you blurted out as silent tears trailed down your cheeks. Shaking your head and looking up into his maroon orbs, you impulsively reached up to cup his face with your hands. Lucky, your subconscious chanted. You were lucky to have someone like him.

"Come here,” You didn’t protest when Sunwoo’s arms tugged you into his broad chest -- was it broader? You felt like it was-- before his head rested atop yours. Another softest of pecks was imprinted atop your forehead, then your nose, before he dipped his head for a chaste kiss upon your mouth. 

It felt like a promise. It felt like a message conveyed from him to you, that he wasn’t about to let go, prompted even more when he wound his arms around your frame in a firm, yet gentle hug. 

You pillowed your head against his chest, closed your eyes, and counted all your blessings. 

You were definitely counting Sunwoo as one. And you’d make sure that you wouldn’t be as foolish as to let go of him ever again.