#there were a whole lot of typos so I edited this haha

[nerves-nebula]

so, my original question was this:

how do you go about writing topics like abuse, sa, etc., because i had thoughts about adding these sort of things in a storyline of mine, but i'm not sure how i would do it without being seen as somehow offensive. i want to do it mainly for awareness purposes, definitely not to romanticize it or justify it, as well as vent a bit personally (thats more with the abuse topic though)

so i was just wondering how you think of it, is all. thanks!

this is really long and meandering so. under the cut. also, might be a lot of typos, i'm not re-reading all of this to make sure :P

i mean well. yknow. ok so like. i'm not really an expert here, cause I mainly write stuff how I'd want to read it, and there's a lot of people who do NOT want to read abuse stories the way that I write them and that's fine. me personally? I like getting into the graphic bits. I remember what happened to me, for the most part. I also like getting into the complicated feelings (like for example the weird kinks you can get from trauma) but I mostly avoid posting that stuff here because. well. because of a lot of reasons, mainly that people actually do not enjoy when abuse survivors aren't chaste about the ICKY parts of their abuse heahfshaf.

BACK TO THE POINT THO: the main thing that i've usually seen other survivors get annoyed at is the sa & abuse being used for shock and nothing else. like, the victims of the abuse not mattering or being used as fodder. and also, victims not having much of a life outside of their abuse.

I know that's rich for me to say cuz I can't stop abusing my characters and I tend to not have much time to do things other than what I'm REALLY interested in- so to a lot of you guys my characters can seem like they're kind of just going through it 24/7, but that's not really how I see them since y'know, I see the whole thing in my head.

but I've noticed that myself and others like it when abused characters also have like, other shit going on. imagine that, I know. A lot of people want characters who's abuse is kind of tangential to them. (not my preference, but this is something I've seen a demand for)

in a way I have a similar thing going on, though I frame it more as "let them get silly with it" hah. As in, I like when characters who are abused or sexually assaulted get to also be silly (editing this to be more clear: It's nice when a character experiences a full range of emotions & experiences. or has a normal day, or does things completely unrelated to their abuse. it feels jarring to some people but the reality of living with abuse is often jarring, as i'm sure you're aware. because one moment you're having a normal ass day at school or something and the next you're at home experiencing things that people consider too horrific to even talk to you about. so a kid hanging out with their friends being a normal silly kid can go a long way to making what happens to them feel more real, at least to me)

I also like it when abuse victims don't react in pretty ways to their abuse. when they get messy with it, when it makes them mean and preemptively lash out at people, when they fight back and aren't innocent. and maybe they never were innocent (which doesn't mean they deserved abuse, but a lot of people subconsciously believe that if you are a bad enough person then your abuse doesn't count or it doesn't matter as much)

one of my favorite characters when I was younger was (and still kinda is) Yuudai from Sakana. for a lot of the comic Yuudai was a genuinely mean person. Sakana is a comedy comic tho, so of course things don't get too dark for too long and people mostly ignored or just scowled at his jabs, but the main character was genuinely scared of him. So if you think about it, you really wouldn't wanna be around Yuudai irl because he was NOT fun or nice haha. long story short Yuudai's got some personal stuff going on, including (spoilers) an emotionally abusive ex who tells him on screen that no one else can stand being around him because he's so mean.

AND THE THING IS,, that's not entirely a lie??? like, it's a lie that no one else could ever love Yuudai, but it's not entirely untrue that Yuudai is kind of mean. which is what makes it effective. it also makes it clear that not all people who are mean are abusive. which i like.

OK THAT WAS A HUGE TANGENT so let me try to actually give some advice.

FOR ME, writing about abuse is akin to writing about, for example, race. in that you really do need to know why it's wrong to be racist in order to make an anti-racism story. You need to go deeper than just "we're all people" and really understand the malicious and insidious history of race science. you need to internalize that race, as it's thought of in modern day america, is NOT REAL. it's completely constructed. there is no genetic difference between people that you can figure out based on the color of their skin and their facial features.

you need to understand that all of that was made up and pushed by a lot of people to justify a lot of things. and you need to understand, at least generally, the state of various races oppression, and the histories there too.

it's like that, to me. which isn't even to say that you need to understand the exact histories, just the general mechanisms, y'know? (unless you're making a story about a specific kind of racism in which case you kind of do need to look into stuff. like, at least listen to activists and the like)

but like, you don't have to study every case of abuse to write about abuse haha. you just have to understand a lot of the contemporary issues abuse victims have. yknow, the reasons people get abused, the reasons people can't LEAVE abusive situations. how abusers get away with it. which is easy enough to do cuz the internet means you can listen to abuse victims by like, category or something. and that's another thing, not every kind of abuse is the same.

for me, I like expressing the feelings of abuse victims. especially parental relationships. including stuff like how much they might love or have loved their abuser. rage, pain, pleasure, adoration, helplessness, denial, the addictiveness of being given a sliver of praise, or the horror of living with a monster who does nothing but hurt you :D! the slow realization that someone who was supposed to love you absolutely does not. or at least, they don't love you in a way that's good.

umm this has all been very meandering and i'm not sure if its been helpful, so here's a very meandering bullet point list of things i try to do (these are NOT requirements for a good story or anything, they're just rules i follow for myself so I don't lose to the plot. you can and absolutely should do things outside of this these are my personal thoughts I'm spewing over here)

at no point should the narrative imply that the abuse was justified or necessary (for example, imagine a narrative where a magical child is abused and that abuse is said to be the reason they can control their magic instead of hurting people. in the broken earth trilogy, multiple characters with magic-earth abilities have their hands broken as children to prove they can control themselves. we're told this is for their benefit, but we later on see a small island that raises their magic babies just fine without hurting them, so the idea that this systemic abuse is necessary is disproven by the narrative. this is cause that's how it is IRL, corporal punishment has never made someone more disciplined or emotionally regulated and that's just a fact)

Focus on the abuser can be extremely minimal to extremely extensive. it really depends on the story you're telling, but how much you focus on the abuser vs the victim can majorly shift the tone & what the story is about so it's important to consider this going in (in Switch by A. S. King, the abusive sister who's fucked up the entire family isn't even named. She's a hole in the narrative. Switch is largely about taking the time to heal from something bad once it's over, so this make sense. in the Broken Earth trilogy, one of the main POV characters is both a victim and perpetrator of some pretty extreme abuse. I'd say that abuse wise, the broken earth trilogy is more about trying to fix things the best you can, moving on, and trying to be better, even if it hurts)

There are a lot of different ways to react to abuse and it will change you (I would recommend looking into different people's experiences, or common ways people react to abuse. a lot of people aren't aware they were abused until it's long over. or, if you're lazy like me, you can mostly just draw from your own experiences hah. but if you're gonna like, for example, write an entire cast of people who've been abused, it can be good to get more variety in there. some people react in ways that are completely incompatible with other people. which can be fun in fiction, cause then it gets messy :D)

What are the other environmental factors? (race, gender, class, sexuality, species, etc. these can all play a fun role in how someone reacts to being abused)

What's the point/Why does this matter/Why am I even making this? (I ask this about all my stories, sometimes it's just "because I want to share it" and sometimes it's like, "because I would want to read it" but it can also be more high concept, like for example, there are a lot of stories out there about the cycle of abuse and how abuse victims can end up reenacting things that happened to them because they've just internalized it as normal behavior.

don't forget to have fun :) (fictional characters are toys and if you're not getting silly with it in a fulfilling way then whats the point. loosen up a bit! it doesn't have to be a PSA!)

I would worry less about being offensive and more about being genuine tbh. really, even if i don't like the way abuse is written about sometimes, it hurts way more to see an author just using Tragic Shit as fodder. abused characters as nothing but place holder NPC's to be saved with no thought put into how they feel about it. that shit sucks.

if anyone else wants to add something more concise or important, or like, ACTUAL writing advice, PLEASE do. I'm only one person and I'm not even that good of a writer. i only write because if i don't then I'll die.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO nah dw abt embarrassing me it must be done….Id rather you see it than have me send it to someone who doesn’t match my freak and have them think im insane

Omg Karasu in the lead?? Guys…….Mira you’ve fr cultivated Karasu nation LMAOO but no you’re so right I remember seeing a poll awhile ago from someone and ofc there were the fan faves like Nagi Reo Kaiser as options and I was shocked to see Karasu there?? Ofc he was dead last in the results but not unexpected ig….also BAROU THIRD GUYS!!!! Barouism rising too??

No seriously Isagi would be sooo cooked if Nagi wasn’t there….trust I know that Nagi goal in u20 is gonna make him skyrocket I’m imagining all the edits to it now LMAO

It’s just the miraverse of content….new genre it’s called “would Mira watch this?” The parallels do go hard though I wasn’t expecting to find so many LOL

HAAHA SHIDOU lowk that’d be really funny….imagine like a 200k wc fic of Shidou shenanigans and sus quotes

Maybe I’ve been too desensitized because when you said too extreme I was expecting a lot more violence LMAO you got the perfect amount though I think when you said extreme I was thinking of Shidou level oops

NO FR?? Like he’s not gonna ever take the top spot but lowk I’ve grown to appreciate him….youre so right though LOLL closeted sweetheart >>> closeted asshole bro wait the grape candy scene was so cute I forgot to mention….its so funny how he kinda just gives it to her without saying anything about it like how people would do secret deals or something but no it’s just grape candy LMAOOO

THREE bro….the aura is crazy…to the dude who wanted your insta you should’ve been like “if you buy me a $50 cupcake I’ll give it to you” /j lowk investing in a bodyguard does not sound like a bad idea tho

OOOOOOH very excited for everything….also the whole masterlist layout for the oaeu>>>>>>>> the visuals look so CLEAN omg but guys look it’s aiku on Mira’s blog!!!! I saw the poll and have not touched it like wdym I’m supposed to choose???? Let’s see if I can be decisive for once but just know I was debating between tabieitaken and barou….speaking of im kinda curious to see which idea of mine will spark inspiration first LMAO take ur time tho im being so well fed with everything in the lineup so far

Im also laughing missing the cutoff is so funny to me because (unless I didn’t read something) it’s like if you didn’t safely get something in before the impending arrival of aiku you’re in for the long ride LMAOOOO

Ok actually real time update I just put them into a random generator to pick and voted LOL because there’s no way I’m deciding in time but I needed to show some opinion somehow….ok but anyways the main point I came back for was why is Nagi tied with your vote tracking option LMFAOOOOO I’m ngl I’ve never set up a poll here what’s the purpose of that…I just know that people aren’t supposed to pick it but I’m crying why does it have more votes than otoya and yuki

- Karasu anon

HAHA okay that is fair i will def keep you posted on any future typos 🤩 honestly they add to the experience though i mean what is a translator without occasional goofs (/j but also as someone who read a 1.5 million word novel translated online from korean #orv i am very used to wading through odd phrasing to get to the heart of a story so ngl sometimes my mind just skips over typos entirely and i don’t even notice)

unfortunately karasu nation has fallen…he’s in second now (w barou as a very close third) because SAE ITOSHI has a healthy lead 😭 honestly it was expected that man just has too many fans 😓 and most of the other characters on there aren’t AS popular (i’m sure there would’ve been more of a split if rin kaiser or isagi were included but honestly none of them were screaming oaeu to me…sae is kinda in the same category as them for me but he had strong oaeu potential hence why he’s included despite not being a miraverse all star like nagi karasu and barou)

I AM SOOO HYPE FOR THE EDITS PLSSS karasu and otoya edits from third selection?? nagi edits from the u20 game?? BAROU EDITS FROM THE U20 GAME 🤤⁉️ AHHH it’s going to be so good i just know those editors are going to cook up so many delicious concepts i’m actually hype (barely one more month we’re so close!!) and LMAOO no literally iirc nagi scored like four of the five goals against barou and naruhaya or something like if he hadn’t done that isagi would’ve had the naruhaya treatment and been out for good 😭 tik tok fans forgetting who the og goat of bllk was 😢 okay but honestly that’s why i love having nagi AND barou as my favs because one or the other is always up!! truly no losing there (and bllk bros automatically respect anyone who loves barou because most of them are barou glazers as if barou is ANYTHING like them 😒)

i guess part of it is also probably just kaneshiro using typical character archetypes too?? like girly dude white haired dude flirty dude etc etc the nagi dragon art was insane work though like what was the reason for that except to cater to us specifically

nah because yk i’d cook even for shidou 😭 but he would not be my first choice (or my second, or third, so on and so forth) HAHA he’s just a bit too chaotic plus like we’ve mentioned i don’t really find him too attractive even though ik some people do?? LMAOO omg idt i could ever write a character as violent as him especially not kiyora…like he’s chill for the most part just not hesitant to punch someone if needed i guess is how i interpreted it?? whereas shidou would just do it for funsies

I HAD FUN WRITING THE GRAPE CANDY SCENE IT JUST FELT SO HIM like the way he gives her a piece after she successfully swallows a pill as if she’s a dog or smth it’s just so innocent 😭 meanwhile reader is like “wow our tongues will match 😏” FBXJFKDS and him writing his number on the empty box so he doesn’t have to throw it away OR actually give her his number in person for fear of rejection…kiyora my underrated goat fr 🥹

JFNFJDDJSJ PLSSS just drop a quick “erm have i known you since you were four years old?? yeah i didn’t THINK so!!” and move on…i fear writing has made my standards very high hence why i’ve never been in a relationship but you’ll never catch me settling fr 🥱 if they’re not like bfb karasu or peregrine nagi or white butterfly hiori I DON’T WANT THEM 🤣 or ig someone like seabird sae would work too HAHA i’ll sacrifice the pining for a man w money and a sense of humor 🤩

OMG YAYYY I’M GLAD YOU LIKE IT i was inspired by those dollar store self help books as well as rom com movie covers when i was making it and i think it turned out well!! and then i saw one of the graphics accounts i follow had posted the green and purple hearts divider and i was like holy shit this is PERFECT it matches so so well w his entire aesthetic…also peep oliver and aiku being diff colors like his heterchromia 😮 LMAOO genuinely this is probably aiku’s first appearance on my blog (besides his cameo in the last part of fwtkac) but ahhh i’m trying to figure out which req to do next myself!! i have a few to choose from so there’s def a bit of variety…i’m thinking of your requests i’ll probably do chigiri?? because barou is part of the oaeu and idk if i feel connected enough to bachira to write for him yet 🙂‍↕️

NFJDBXSNK no because that’s literally what it is…after the gagamaru req my inbox was pretty stagnant in terms of new reqs so i was like ok let me just get these ones cleared out and then i’ll go back to posting my own things again as well 😭 literally the two hiori requests are from my 500 follower event so from back in JUNE like i need to wrap these up and post them 😭 but idm making the newer ones wait like they can go on the crazy oaeu ride w all of us in the meantime 😩

OMG WHO DID YOU END UP VOTING FOR (unless you want to keep it a secret because if so i understand 🫡) also omg that annoys me sm like fr a pet peeve…basically no one can see the results of a poll until they vote but that includes the creator of the poll?? so if you don’t want to skew the results you just make another option so you can keep track of the poll while it’s still open 🤩 but i absolutely HATE when people pick that option like are you seriously that desperate to know the answer that you pick the option that literally says it’s only for me?? it doesn’t matter what you put people will vote on it but it’s so annoying ughhhh i can’t stop putting it because i’m nosy and like to know what’s going on with the poll in real time but it fr irritates me that people pick it like literally just choose a random option if it’s that deep 😒 i think part of what annoys me is like it so clearly says don’t pick it…and then people still pick it…like were you all dropped on the heads as children or smth…ANYWAYS sorry i feel like i’m so chill normally but there’s random things that genuinely make me crash out for no reason 😭 ALSO POOR YUKI AND OTOYA they’re still behind the FOR MIRA ONLY OPTION (me rn: 🤬😡) atp i’m not going to do polls anymore…like damn sorry i tried to get you all involved why are you being stupid and illiterate rn

actually tbh it’s not that deep idk why it enrages me sm 😰 but uhhh i fear it does for some reason

[studythenight-away]

Hello! As finals season (aka 5-research-papers-due-in-a-week season) dawns on many of you, I thought I would share the process I used to write papers in college. This made writing long research papers much less daunting (but can also work on shorter papers). I really hope this helps some of you who feel stuck. Especially during these ridiculous times, when you're stuck at home and might have other uncontrollable factors affecting your mental health, a clear framework of what to do could be helpful. Good luck, my friends! You got this.

About me

I graduated college in 2018 with degrees in Political Science + International Studies and will be starting law school this fall. I wrote nearly 20 15 to 25-page papers, never earning below an A. I loved researching about my topics but hated writing. It's tedious, takes so much time, and everything I write sounds bad at first. Plus, I was a terrible procrastinator so most of these essays were written in under a week. Talk about stress.

Over time I found a process that worked for me, one that made churning out a paper seem straightforward, like going through a factory line rather than this terrifying concept of writing 10,000 words. It kept me sane without decreasing the quality of my work (or more importantly, how much I learned!) 

I'm thinking about making a short video to show this in action… let me know if that could be helpful!

Step 1: Research

How you organize your research is a key step in keeping you sane. Usually I'll have a pile of 20 books in my dorm along with dozens of JSTOR tabs open on my laptop, and that can get overwhelming very fast. Right now just focus on collecting ideas, not developing an argument or even an outline! As with most research papers, you could be starting with little to no background information on the topic, so it is still too early to be thinking about an argument.

Put all your research in one document

Open up a new doc: this will be the heart of everything. For a 15-page paper I usually end up with around 14-18 pages of typed research, 10 pt font, single spaced, tiny margins. This seems like a lot, but essentially all I do is type up anything I read that seems relevant to my topic, so luckily this step does not require that much brain power. Just type type type!

Use the table of contents

Find the chapter(s) that are actually relevant instead of skimming through the whole book. Time is of the essence here!

Use Zotero, cite right away

You can also use easybib or whatever you're used to, but keep track of your sources. I like Zotero because I can keep a log of all of my sources and copy the footnote or bibliography version whenever needed. Before you even begin reading, cite the source and copy it into your research doc. This will save you so much time later when you have to put in your citations in the actual paper. 

Here is an example of what my research doc looks like:

Full citation is my heading for each source just so it’s crystal clear

I ignore all typos (I don’t think there are any in this part though, go me!) because my head is buried in the book just trying to get all the info down

I always start with the page number so I know what to cite when I go back

Create a shorthand 

While typing up research, you might think of something that the author didn't talk about that you'll want to write in your paper. Or perhaps a few sentences already start to form. Put them all in one place, with your research, so you know what source you'll have to cite to then lead into your idea. I type "!@#" before anything that is strictly my own idea so I'm never confused. It's fast and stands out.

This is an example: the two bullet points above are evidence from my source, which made me think of this argument I could make, which I noted with “!@#”

Step 2: Read Your Research

Now that you have all your information, go back and read through it all. Every time you read about a new theme/person/event, write it down somewhere. You may come up with a list of 20+ different ideas in your research. No matter how small, as long as there is something about it, write it down. Each of these mini themes is going to end up being a paragraph in your paper or combined with another mini theme. 

Once you’ve made your list, look for larger overarching themes. In the paper I’ve shown you, I had mini categories like “political party x” “religion” “labor groups” “little organization” and “hierarchy.” When I looked back I though, hey these are all groups and how groups are working together, so they each became their own mini paragraph under the subsection of “Alliances.”

As with most research paper structures, I try to find three general themes/subsections (like an extended version of that 5-paragraph essay we wrote in middle school). It makes the paper less messy and also makes sure I’m not covering things that are beyond a reasonable scope.

During this step, you are also searching for your thesis. It won’t be your final version. As you fill in your outline in the next step you may make slight changes. But this is definitely when you start thinking about it.

Step 3: Outline

We’re ready to outline! Once I’ve collected all my different themes and organized all my subsections and paragraphs, it’s time to fill in that outline. I start a new doc just for the outline and take advantage of google doc’s headings function to make a clear document outline.

Here comes the fun part, I read through my research one more time, this time copy and pasting all my research into each section of the outline. The document outline in google docs makes this easy because I can just click on each subheading to get me there (super helpful when you’re dealing with 15+ pages of research).

Here is what it looks like:

Let’s say I need to add something to my outline about labor groups. Boom, labor groups. Also, the typos are really abound here haha

Step 4: Write the Paper

Okay, I get it, easier said than done. BUT! You already have everything set up. Your outline is essentially just a list of your paragraphs and all you have to do is paraphrase, cite, and create a topic sentence. And that’s how you should think about this: you’re essentially transforming bullet points into sentences and adding footnotes. 

In high school my English teacher introduced us to Sh*tty First Drafts for creative writing, but honestly the same applies to research papers. Sometimes I’ll even have phrases like “wait no that’s not what I meant but basically...” and when I go back to edit, I realize that what came after “but basically...” is fine! And I keep it. So just start typing.

How do you cite while you write? Because we’re trying to get a constant stream of writing going, inserting proper footnotes after each sentence you type is too bothersome. I usually split screen with my outline and my paper so I just copy and paste a few words from my bullet point into my footnote, like so:

(This is from a different paper about cluster munitions.)

Step 5: Edit the Paper

I work best when I print out my first draft and make all edits in red pen. I feel more productive and can visually see where I want to move sentences and what I need to change. The more red there is the better I can feel the paper getting. (Whether or not that’s true doesn’t matter. We’re trying to stay motivated here!) When it’s all digital I don’t really see the progress. Plus, once I finish all the red, I get another moment of passive brain work, where all I’m doing is transferring edits rather than thinking. And at this point in the process, that kind of relief is much welcomed. 

The good thing about this process is there’s not usually a need to cut entire paragraphs or pages because the paper you end up with is just a formalized version of your outline. Because you started with such a detailed outline, the cutting and editing now is just to refine your word choices and get rid of the “but basically”s. You’re almost there!

Step 6: Replace your citations

Now it’s time to go back and replace your footnotes with actual citations. Zotero makes this easy because in Word you can just insert and add the page number, and it’ll automatically do “Ibid.” for you when needed. Ctrl+f in the original research doc to quickly find the source.

Step 7: One More Read-Through and Submit!

Congratulations!! You’ve got a fully-researched and well-backed paper! Of course, even though the process is straightforward, it’s still a lot of work. In ideal situations I would start researching two weeks before the deadline, but if need be, I believe I’ve done this all in three miserable panic-filled days as well. 

Please message me if you have any questions at all! I really hope some of you find this helpful! Good luck!

[norasfilmjourney]

User's Canon, Film #250

Caché (2005), dir. Michael Haneke

To preface this I'd like to talk about my experience watching this movie - I watched it with my GF over hyperbeam, which I suppose could provide a small sense of distraction, and I'm sure made me miss a few lines. Also, this was the first movie we watched together, which I think maybe wasn't the best choice for a first date movie considering we were both feeling drained by the end haha.

Anyway, while this film has a sense of eerieness and is even confusing (along the lines of Kon's Perfect Blue - a not knowing of what is a tape and what is simply the cinematography) that effectively create tension and draws you into the film - most notably during the scene in which Pierrot is missing - I do believe where this film excels is in it's depressing nature.

It's a really, really sad movie to watch. A man who's sins of the past hurts him, disintegrates his relationships and threatens the livelihood of everyone around him. One who did something when they didn't know better who shouldn't have let go of what he did in spite of his desire to. More than anything it hurts to see the innocent in this situation be harmed - Majid's son and Anne have to live with this mistake despite not even being involved. Majid's son loses his father and Anne suffers due to Georges' inability to open up and toxic behavioir.

It is hard not to talk about race and this film - and I think that was quite intentional. Throughout the film there is a consistent focus on race. The first victim of Georges' instability is a black man. We see videos of what seems to be a war caused by middle eastern instability, and we learn Majid's parents were part of a group of Algerians massacred. Ultimately, we learn what Georges' did, and I think it is here we can finally piece together why this film is so insistent on these racial images - a white family invites Majid into their home, promising that there will be an upside for the child, however this same family later harms him, forcing Majid out which we later learn from Majid's son was equivalent to denying him education. To have a family take a marginalized boy, and do this is almost analogous to a form of colonialism - taking of resources/people/land, promising mutual benefits, and in the end harming the native people. There's an instability in this film - and it's an instability caused by the scars of colonialism.

I can say that I get an emotional and thematic pay-off from this film. I can not say however, that this film was very satisfying. We never truly learn who sent the tapes. While I think this works for the film in some ways, it's still not very good when it comes to enjoyment. I don't have many problems with this film but I can't say it connected as hard as Funny Games, the other Haneke work I've seen (we don't talk about the remake), even if I believe this to be better from a thematic perspective. Strong 8/10.

Note: the reason the film count jumped all the way to 250 is because two films I have seen before became 4.0s. These two are La La Land and Ferris Bueller's day off, which I will not be reviewing for this project. Regardless, I didn't know this was the 250th film I'd seen that qualifies, but I'm glad it was.

Edit: there are a LOT of typos in this review because I write these immediately after watching, and this film drained me and I am tired. oops! sorry about that, I'm keeping the post as it is as a whole for archiving purposes however.

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

[septicstories]

Big Life in a Small Town (Part 1)

A/N: This is based on the song "Santa Fe (Prologue)" from the Newsies musical! It's not based on the plot of the musical. The song will be altered a tad, but not too much! In the next part though, I'll have to do some edits. But for now, you've got this... mess? I dunno, I'm writing this before it's done. This is post-X-men Apocalypse, so Peter is in his late 20's.

Genre: Bittersweet fluff

Warnings: alcohol, drinking, mentions of broken limbs, daddy issues, no beta reader, minimal editing

Word count: 1.3k (1,385 words)

The X-mansion was quiet, the cool midnight air only changing currents occasionally when a silver blur sprinted around.

Pietro had his younger brother in his arms, running around. Peter injured his leg a while ago, stuck on crutches. ANd it was killing the young speedster.

And Pietro noticed.

So he scooped his younger brother up out of his room, running him around the mansion's vast yard until he smiled. That's when he brought him up to one of the rooftop balconies of the mansion.

The two siblings weren't the only ones in their family who lived in the mansion. Pietro's twin, Wanda, was fast asleep, her room near the balcony.

Pietro, as immature as he may seem, was wise beyond his years. He'd seen more things than he ever would have wanted to for a 35-year-old man. Hell, anyone would be unsettled when you find your mother died of sickness, and your father was out of the picture when your younger brother was born a few years after.

Pietro and Peter sat on the balcony, a case of beer between the two, a sudden scoff came from the older speedster.

"What's up, you alright?" Peter asked, looking at his brother.

Pietro's eyes were glued to the ground below them, a sour expression on his face.

"Those streets down there," Pietro began, a dry laugh leaving his lips. "They sucked the life right out of our old man. Well, they aren't doing that to me."

Peter pursed his lips, watching as his older brother took a swig of his beer.

Pietro has always hated staying in one place for too long. The mansion hadn't really ever been his favorite place. Staying at their aunt's house in D.C. was something he looked forward to every summer. But, even then, he could only stay there for a few days before needing to go somewhere else. Not just from his need to move, but the U.S. government still wasn't absolutely fond of mutants.

"But everyone wants to come to New York," Peter let out a small chuckle. To an outsider, it'd sound like he was in disbelief, but he understood how Pietro felt.

Staying in one place was hard. But Peter also managed to make himself a family here at the mansion as he grew up. He met the ever-sweet Jean Grey when he was 20 years old. The poor girl had some trauma that no one but Chuck knew about. He got to meet Hank, and Raven, and all of the other younger kids. He thought of them all as his younger siblings.

He couldn't leave.

"You keep your small life in the big city. Give me a big life in a small town."

Pietro's words snapped Peter out of his thoughts, looking to his older brother. Pietro's eyes had lifted from the ground, looking up to the sky.

"They say folks are dying to get here."

"What about you, Piet?"

"Me? I'm dying to get away... to a little town out west that's spankin' new," Pietro said with a grin. "And while I've never been there, I can see it clear as day! If you want, I bet you, you could see it, too.

Peter has always had a particular question on his mind, that he always knew the answer to.

Then why haven't you gone? What's stopping you?

But, as always, Peter kept his mouth shut. He didn't want Wanda and Pietro to leave, as dumb as it may be. They were the only family he had left. Well, that he knew of and that knew of him.

Erik was another person he'd address when he had the courage.

But not...

Not now.

"Close your eyes."

Peter looked at his brother again, who was staring back at him. Honestly, he was waiting for his brother to snap in his face and use what became his favorite phrase after a few movie nights: "Hello, McFly?"

"Come with me, where it's clean and green and pretty, and they went and made a city out of clay."

Clay? A city out of clay? That sounds... odd. Peter hasn't stayed too long in other parts of the world, opting to stick to the Northeast area of the U.S. Occasionally, he'll go further South or a little bit further West. But never past Kansas.

"Why, the minute that you get there, folks will walk right up and say, 'Welcome home, son. Welcome home to Santa Fe!'"

Being called son was something the Maximoff boys wanted more than they would ever elude to. Their father? Out of the picture for the most part, up until they realized he was a terrorist. And he didn't even know about Peter.

Of course, the townsfolk of Santa Fe may not call you "son" as soon as you land on the premise. But, two bastard sons can dream, can't they?

"Planting crops. Splitting rails. Swapping tales around the fire," Pietro's grin grew as he spoke. He really thought about this a lot, didn't he? "Except for Sunday when you lie around all day."

Peter didn't know how much Pietro truly thought about leaving. Pietro's mind was full of places to go and see, places where he could take his family and live without having to deal with attacks from the U.S. government.

Santa Fe was where they'd go next in the U.S., but Sokovia was certainly the next best option. The U.S. government wouldn't come looking for them in Sokovia.

Right?

"Soon your friends are more like family, and they're begging you to stay! Isn't that neat?" Pietro asked as Peter took a large sip from his beer. "Living sweet in Santa Fe."

Pietro trailed off, almost in a dream-like state, making Peter flinch. He really fucking wanted out, huh?

"Hey, no one worries about a bad leg in Santa Fe. You just hop on a palomino, you'll ride in style!" Pietro joked, knocking his shoulder into his brother's.

"Feature me, ridin' in style," Peter giggled, taking a swig of his beer again.

"Hey, I bet a few months of clean air, you could toss that crutch for good!"

"Santa Fe," Peter and Pietro mumbled in unison, one happy and the other more tired. "You can bet, we won't let those bastards beat us. We won't beg anyone to treat us fair and square. There's a life that's worth the living, and I'm gonna do my share."

"Work the land, chase the sun." Pietro ran his hands through his hair, standing up.

"Swim the whole Rio Grande just for fun!" Pietro and Peter shouted together. The two had massive grins spreading across their faces, just happy to see the other smiling.

"Watch me stand!" Peter stood up quickly, only to feel a sharp pain jolt through his bad leg. His hands flew to the balcony railing, gripping it tightly as he let out a choked noise of pain.

"Watch me run..."

Pietro frowned when he saw his brother's grimace, watching Peter set himself down into a sitting position. The poor kid was gritting his teeth and sucking in harsh breaths as he set himself down.

"Hey, hey..." Pietro began softly, sitting down beside his brother before slapping a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you know that we're a family?"

Peter's eyes met Pietro's, painting over his grimace with a weak grin. "Yeah, b--"

"Would I let you down?" Pietro asked.

Peter let out a weak laugh as his brother continued.

"No way. Just hold on, kid, until that train makes Santa Fe."

The younger speedster let out a yawn, leaning his head on his brother's shoulder.

"Let's get you to bed, okay?" Pietro said, only getting a nod from Peter.

Pietro scooped his younger brother up in his arms, speeding through the mansion into Peter's room before setting him down.

"Good night, Peter."

"Good night, Pietro."

Pietro sped out of Peter's room, only to be stopped when he passed Wanda's room. His sleepy twin gave him a look, one that he didn't see often, and it concerned him.

"Pietro, we're being called to Sokovia," Wanda whispered sleepily.

"What? Why? All three of us?"

"No. Peter needs to stay here. He's got a broken leg, Pietro. Just you and I."

Pietro took in a quick breath before nodding.

"When do we leave?"

"... you didn't see that coming..."

A/N: Haha, cliffhangers are fun, ain't they? Okay, but, here's what you have for now! The other one is already in my drafts, and I've got plans for that! So, I'll get all that shit out, and we'll be good! I've got so much shit in my drafts, holy shit. Okay, uh... I don't have much to say, so thank you for reading! I don't necessarily have a tag list for this sort of stuff, so if you want to be on a tag list, let me know! And please let me know if you find a typo or something that doesn't make sense. Like I said, there's minimal editing.

[thelivebookproject]

Talking Books With @jeblaguejeblog!

[What is this and how can I participate?]

Important note: I haven’t changed or edited any of the answers. I’ve only formatted the book titles so they were clearer, but nothing else. Because I’m incapable of shutting up, my comments are between brackets and in italics, so you can distinguish them clearly.

------------------------------------------------

[Image description: a square titled “Know the blogger”. Name & pronouns: Zoe, she/her; country: United States; three adjectives to describe her: curious, analytical & prone to crying /end]

1. What is a thing you don't like about reading?

There’s nothing I don’t like about reading a good book, but one thing I don’t like about books is how hard it is to pick the good ones. There’s a lot of luck involved! I‘m really into movie trailers (and movies, but especially trailers - I have a whole list of trailers that were better than the movie: Blinded By The Light, Big Miracle, Murder on the Orient Express). I like trailers because they’re an art form in and of themselves, but also I feel like I can always tell if I’m going to hate a movie by watching the trailer. I don’t think you can do that with a book - you just have to start reading and hope that you don’t hate the characters or the dialogue or the author’s worldview. I hate it when I’m really excited to read a book and then I finally get it and it’s...unreadable. It’s so discouraging to me to have to give up on a book, but I firmly believe life’s too short to read books you hate.

[This is such an interesting point of view! Do you think that book trailers would help us choose books better? I rarely if ever watch movie trailers so I’m not sure I agree with that haha. It’s true that there’s a lot of luck involved in choosing good books, but for me reading reviews is a good way of knowing if I’m going to like a particular book or not. And when it turns out you do love one, the feelings of being lucky and extreme happiness are unmeasurable!]

2. Last time you researched a writer's Wikipedia page to know something specific about them?

I was playing Trivial Pursuit and there was a question that referred to Edgar Allen Poe as a “pre-Civil War writer,” which I thought was weird because I don’t think his works are particularly rooted in the lead up to the Civil War. So I looked him up to see if he wrote a bunch of stuff about abolition that I didn’t know about. (He did not.)

3. Do you mind typos in books?

YES if I find more than one I feel personally betrayed.

4. First book that comes to your mind when I say "autumn"?

Autumn to me means thrillers set in high school/college - the first one that comes to mind is Truly Devious, which (autumnal bonus points) is also set in Vermont!

5. How did you get into booklr?

I’ve been on Tumblr since 2008 so who knows what I’ve been up to since then. I probably got into bookblr by following a bunch of Jane Austen meme blogs, but it might also have been a situation where my finger slipped and I accidentally followed a bookblr and then one thing led to another and suddenly I was following a bunch of book blogs. (This has happened to me with other tumblr communities - lawblr, for example, even though I’m not a lawyer.)

Free space!

I have a mostly personal blog where I complain about work (hmu if you too like to use a tumblr as a public journal, I love 2 make new tumblr friends!) but I love giving personalized recommendations (for books, or movies, or tv) based on hyper-specific questions about what you like or don’t like, so if you’re in a reading rut come @ me.

You can follow her at @jeblaguejeblog.

------------------------------------

Thank you, Zoe! This was really nice.

Next interview: Saturday, 3rd of April

[paulsmashedpotato]

Omg can I request a ringo imagine? Some smut thrown in as well if possible? Maybe it’s starts off with Ringo wanting to approach reader but he’s shy but they end up having a deep connection and then it skips forward to a year or so where they’re so in love and devoted to one another and Ringo is telling reader all the feelings he had when they first met and how he still feels that way and so does she, and he’s so happy she’s his and how faithful she is to him and then they,yknow😏🥺😭💞💘

I'll try my best! Sorry it took so long, by the way. I really can't write smut without needing to take breaks every 10 minutes AHH Sorry if there are typos, I typed the end part really fast on my phone because I posted it and found out that none of my progress got saved hehe.. I'll make sure to edit!

Masterlist

Same Feelings

Pairing: Ringo Starr x fem!reader

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Some smut in the end but the first part's all good- I'll put a note when the smut part's starting.（＾ｖ＾）

"You, guys, seem to love coming 'ere when we're 10 minutes before closing, back for the same cups of tea and biscuits?" You asked while you clean up the cups from table seven. The same four boys whom you've gotten to know from the number of times you've served their table sat on their usual spot which was at the corner, the most isolated part of the shop. "We love it when we're the only customers left!" John said, "Lovely seeing you again, y/n! We'll be having something different today." Paul grinned at you. "Fancy seeing you guys, too." You replied with your sweetest- prettiest smile, "I'll be back to take your orders, I'll just clean this up real quick." The boys nodded and watched you walk away with the tray of empty cups on your hands.

John and Paul abruptly turned their heads to Ringo when you went inside the kitchen, "Okay, you'll be telling her our orders for tod-"

"I can't, I can't do it. I'll just stutter and I'll make a complete fool of myself." Ringo says, groaning a little, "You're just going to say, three cups of joe and one milk. You'll be great!" John encouraged, Ringo shook his head making the two boys groan.

"Don't pressure the poor boy." George says, taking out his box of cigars but Ringo slapped his hand, "You can't smoke here, it's a no smoking zone, she's told you that a lot of times before!"

George rolled his eyes, keeping the box back in his pocket. "She's coming, you can do it, Ringo. Just act normal."

"I can't do it-"

"We won't be saying anything so it's all on your hands."

"Said I can't-"

"Have you decided on your orders yet?" You asked, taking out your notepad and pen. They all avoided your gaze, that's weird, you thought. "Hello?" You called, they exchanged glances at each other, George snickering at Ringo who just answered him with a glare. "Okay, I guess, I can come ba-"

"Three glasses of milk and one cup of joe!" Ringo blurted out, the words rushing out very fast that you could barely understand it. While the other three looked at him with a confused expression, you can't help but smile, it was the first time he's ever talked to you, he seemed really shy and quiet compared to the other three, "Okay, Ringo, right? I'll be taking that down, three glasses of milk and a cup of joe." You repeated, jotting it down, "Same snacks that you order along with tea?"

"Y-yes." He murmured, looking away. You giggled, "You're adorable, loosen up, I won't bite."

The other three looked at Ringo with wide eyes before shooting you a look, they looked like they were holding their screams in. "I'll be back shortly." You say, flashing them a smile before walking away.

"Fffffffffff....uck! Ringo!" John quietly squealed, holding on to Ringo's shoulders and shaking him excitedly, "She said you're adorable!"

"You're adorable, loosen up, I won't bite." George echoed your words, making his pitch higher. "You said our orders wrong but still- you did it, you talked to her!" Paul said, matching John's excitement. Ringo was just trying to hold his excitement to himself, although his smile was demanding to be let out.

"Next time, order for a date!"

++|++

The boys finished not long after, immediately paying and telling you their goodbyes. The three walked out the shop while Ringo stops by the door, taking a deep breath, "You okay?" You asked, walking towards him. He was startled but he nodded immediately, grabbing the door handle, "I-I gotta go." He says, pulling the door open, "It's push." You say, a worried smile on your face. "R-right." The way he blushed and stuttered was adorable and you just couldn't help but smile. "Goodnight, Ringo." You said, before starting to clean up their table. "Goodnight."

He opened the door, seeing his other three friends waiting for him outside, he took another deep breath, this time sure he was going to do what he's been debating to do for so long now. He turned around and called you, you blinked a couple of times, "Yes?"

"C-can I... We.. Can we- Should we- no, uh, do you wan- Shit." He cursed, making you giggle, "Yes, you can, we can, we should, I would love to." You replied, assuming he was asking you out. "Really?" He asked, "Where do you wanna go?"

You pursed your lips, thinking, "How about... walk me home for tonight?" He nodded with his usual shy smile, "I'll just clean this up really quick, can you wait for me?"

He nodded again, "I-I'll wait for you... Outside." He says, pushing the door open and walking out. You smiled, hurrying up. You fixed your hair and sprayed on some cologne in the loo.

"I asked her on a date..." Ringo mumbled, walking towards his friends. "What?" John asked, not really able to understand what Ringo said. "I asked her on a date- I mean- I kinda did. I'm walking her home tonight."

The other three cheered for Ringo, jumping around and pulling him in for hugs, "Tell us everything tomorrow!" Paul says, lightly punching his arm, "We'll be going so you could have an alone time."

They talked for a bit, saying their good lucks to Ringo before leaving and not long after, you finally walked out, his face lighting up when he sees you. "Sorry, had to check out." You say, jogging a little towards him, "No, you're good." He replied, "Here, I'll carry it for you." He says, gesturing at your sling bag. You handed it to him with a warm smile, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

You started walking side by side and at first it was really quiet- too quiet that the air felt heavy but after a few questions here and there, you both loosened up, your conversations flowing naturally and it felt like you've gotten to know him so much already and him, you. Your similar likes and experiences were shared and your differences were discussed with full interests and open-mindedness, you both enjoyed learning things you didn't really like before you knew it was the other's favourite. Unfortunately, the walk wasn't forever, it felt like time flew by fast when you were laughing and talking and now you're stood outside your house.

"Can I take you on a proper date tomorrow?" He asked, handing you back your sling bag, "I have work tomorrow, how about Saturday?" You asked back, taking your bag from him, "Sounds perfect." He smiled, you smiled back, not really knowing what to do next. You both were just looking at each other, both shy.

"So..." You finally said, dragging the s, "I'm going in, thanks for walking me home." You leaned in, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. He froze, his face turning beet red, making you giggle, "Goodnight, Ringo."

"Y-yeah, yeah. G-goodnight, y/n. Thank you for tonight." He says, "S-see you."

You waved at him with a smile before finally walking in your house, Ringo's smile never leaving his face.

++|++

"You know, I stood outside your house that night for probably 10 minutes or so, it was too surreal- that whole night." Ringo says while he caress your arm with his thumb. You two were plopped down the couch, his arms wrapped around you while you lean on his chest, the television rambling on about something while you two recalled your first date. "It was the best night of my life, every hour I spend with you is the best but that night was... The best-best because that was our first." He grinned, kissing your head, "Do you still remember when we first met in the shop?" You asked, tilting your chin up to attempt to see him. "F'course. I think that was the first time you worked there because we always went to that shop but it was my first time seeing your there." He said, you nodded, "It was, it was my first night there. I immediately noticed you guys, your table was always the noisiest."

His chest shook you up as he let out a laugh, "Sorry, it was mostly John and Paul." "I know, I never heard you speak," You say, "The first time you ever talked to me was when you ordered the glasses of milk, was it? And a cup of joe."

"I didn't have the confidence to talk to you... I liked you the very first time I saw you-" You cut him off with a scoff from how cliché he sounded, "No, no, it's true. I really did like you and your smile, your voice, the way you joked back with my friends when they tried to talk to you, your laugh, everything about you was perfect. Still is. I especially love your eyes. But I love you the most."

You smiled, sitting up properly, "I love you too."

"The same feelings from the start never ever left."

(Okay the smut starts here, yes, that means it's time for you to stop reading, minor. >:-(( HAHA.)

He leaned in, snuggling into your neck and leaving kisses, "That tickles." You laughed, trying to push him off. He pinned you down the couch, his hands propping himself up over you, "I really love you!"

He leaned in again, kissing you passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. He lifted your leg up to his waist, squeezing your thigh a bit as he smiled through the kiss.

You pulled away, catching your breath, "I think the bedroom's comfortable." He chuckled, pulling your other leg up to wrap his waist, "Good idea." He held your arms that were around his neck, "Hold tight."

He got up, causing you to let out a short squeal. He rushed carefully to the bedroom and gently put you down the soft mattress. And leaning down, his lips reattached with yours again.

His hand slipped under your shirt, his warm hand bringing chills all over your body. You pushed him away quickly, him shooting you a confused look while you just laughed, pulling your shirt over your head. He smiled before pecking your lips.

He started trailing soft kisses on your neck until he found your favourite spot, making you moan as he started sucking on it. His kisses went down to your collar while his hand attempts to unclasp your bra which he successfully did, immediately throwing it off. You held on to his hair, tugging it a little when he moved down on your nipple, his other hand playing with the other. "Oh god." You moaned loudly. "Don't start calling on him, baby." He snickered, his hand roaming down to your shorts.

He slipped his hand in, looking at you with a smirk, "Pretty wet, doll." You rolled your eyes playfully, "Whose fault is that?"

"I'd be happy to say it's mine." He quickly pulled your shorts and underwear down, kissing you hungrily while he stimulates your clit. You moaned to his mouth, your hands continuously tugging on his hair.

"Fuck." You cursed when a finger suddenly slipped in, then another, until had three in you, thrusting it in and out while he leaves love bites on your body.

He curled his finger, causing you to arch your back and moan loud, "Should we call it a night?"

"No! Fuck you." You answered in between moans, making him laugh, "A'right, if you say so."

He started moving his fingers faster while his thumb fidgets your clit with just enough aggression as you like, "I'm not gonna last long if you keep doing that." You whimpered. He went even faster, if that was possible, his lips attached to yours again.

You pulled away when you felt yourself coming, you couldn't hold it in anymore, a quiet groan escaped your lips as you reached your high, freezing for a split second.

He finally pulled his fingers out, bringing it to his mouth and licking it slow without break eye contact. You sat up, pushing him down to sit back, causing him to hit the headboard and groaning from the pain, "Oops, sorry." You giggled, kissing his head. "What are you doing?" He asked, still rubbing the part of his head that hit the headboard.

"Taking you." You winked, putting your hand on his bludge, startling him a little, "Let's take this off."

He helped you pull his shorts and boxers down, eyeing his member before kneeling between his legs and holding it in your hand. You spread the pre-cum with your thumb from his tip. Leaning closer, you planted a kiss, again, making him jump a bit. You wet your hand with your saliva and spread it on his shaft to make pumping easier. Soft moans escaped his lips when you started pumping him slowly. Your pace quickened after a few pumps and you'd go even faster when he groans.

You brought your mouth closer to his phallus, licking it its side from the bottom up to his tip before finally taking him in your mouth, causing him to let out an obscene sigh.

You started sucking on him, your head moving lower and lower as you took more of him, he placed his hand on your head to guide your pace.

After a few minutes, you pulled your head back, bringing your hand to his shaft to pump him fast, causing him to moan and throw his head back. "Well, don't come now, baby. Save it for later." You teased. He was going to say something but you moved your hand even faster, causing him to groan and curse.

"Babe, can't 'old it." He says, his eyes still closed. You laughed a little, taking him in your mouth again as you waited for him to come which was not long after, you felt his fluid shoot the back of your throat and you made sure to swallow every drop of it.

You finally sat up, lookin at him panting and eyes still closed, trying to recover from the sudden hit of euphoria. "You're not done yet, are you?" You asked. He finally looked at you, "F'course not."

You crawled closer to him and positioned yourself above his lap, a knee on either side of him. He placed his hands on your waist as you held his phallus up to your entrance. You both moaned as you slowly moved down, taking all of him in. After getting used to feeling him in, you started moving up and down, his hands still on both your sides to guide you, it was slow and steady as both of you just tried to feel each other close. Your lips collided, soft kisses replacing the hungry ones you did sooner.

After a while, you sat on his lap, his member still plugged in you, resting a bit when your legs got tired. You leaned your forehead against his, a smile creeping on his lips.

"I love you, y/n." He whispered. You reflected his smile, as you felt the same nervousness as you did the first time he said those words, "I love you, Richie."

He sighed, hugging you close, "You're not done yet, are you?" He asked teasingly, mocking the way you asked the same question a while ago. You giggled, "F'course not."

"Good," He said in a deeper voice before pinning you down the bed without pulling out and taking his shirt off, "Because we're just getting started."

-end-

That's about it. Don't kill me for cutting you short please I'm sorry 😂 You know how it goes.

---

Let's be mutuals pleasee!

[ais-n]

ok so me and some friends have been talking about how much we loved greyson especially because of how meta it was and i wanted to ask if there was any more thought put into the show outside of canon, like who the characters are or about hsin and boyd watching it (like the plot point boyd predicted, that was so cute)

Hey! lol it is hilariously meta to have in there, isn’t it? haha

I don’t think we talked a ton about it beyond just generally what the plot would probably be based on the original story idea. I ended up getting super distracted multiple times in the course of trying to answer this because it got me curious to look back at old notes lol

!!!!!!! Oh my effing god - I legitimately thought we hadn’t talked much about the plot of the show itself but after searching around and remembering that apparently we spelled it Greyson some places and Grayson others I found way more info. (btw the Greyson is probably my fault more recently lol I spell gray as grey so I bet over time I flipped it in my head to being Greyson when it was probably Grayson canonically, but I can’t remember for sure what’s actually in the book itself)

ANYWAY I found a July 20, 2010 email string between “Sonny” and me about Grayson/Greyson with a lot more notes on the whole thing. So it turns out I do have some extra info, shockingly enough.

I put it beneath a cut in case of spoilers. 

THIS IS DIRECTLY FROM MY EMAIL - SO IT IS GOING TO PROBABLY MAKE NO SENSE/BE CONFUSING AF/HAVE NO CONTEXT - also since it was just a regular chat back and forth we were kind of shooting the shit figuring it all out. just a forewarning :) only changes i made were clear spelling typos that made it a little confusing to not fix

+++++++++++++++++

July 20, 2010 emails figuring out Greyson/Grayson 

8:49 am - email from Ais to “Sonny”

btw in grayson i thought of doing an homage to what we originally were going to have icos be, so i thought your one guy could be the one who has the lung sickness in there and we can have whoever we want as other characters. i imagine the one who lost everyone and is all violent to be cypress but he will have his real name, Akiva, because cypress is in my fantasy series. for some reason in my mind, the Feral is named Annika and she's basically a Feral by the end of the first season, and also some of the other characters who werent affected by the war as much probably are basically in middle class or nicer areas. so for some reason in my mind, there's a rich girl named Daphne (could be a different name) and at the end of the first season, she somehow got caught up with Annika (maybe kidnapped?) and the show's plot lines seemed to be implying Daphne will end up as a Feral eventually. im not sure if it'd be Daphne then that people think died at the end of the first season or if it would be someone else. regarding your character (was it Nate?) i think he had a sister didnt he? i thought maybe if he did, he thought she died in the war but actually she lived. she was at a friends house or something so he never saw what occurred with her and when he went there everything was destroyed and the bodies were too mangled and burnt to be identifiable. but maybe she doesnt remember anything or she's hurt in some hospital and recovering, and eventually they could run into each other but she may or may not know who he is. the only thing is i dont think we should have the secret agent aspect to Grayson but we could have one of the other characters be some vigilante or law enforcement person of some sort if we wanted. or we could leave that out altogether. i also completely arbitrarily chose 7 characters so you can increase or decrease as you like.

8:51 am - email from Ais to “Sonny”

also these are just random ideas for the series plot which isnt that important anyway so you can feel free to add/change/suggest/whatever... i just wanted to email you those general ideas before i could forget

8:53 am - email from “Sonny” to Ais

im kind of confused by people becoming ferals unless they were kidnapped and kept among them for long periods of times? because i implied that ferals were people who basically never left the wastelands after the war and became mentally and physically changed because of the way they live and what they saw, so i dont think it would make sense that someone "becomes a feral" unless theyve been kidnapped for some reason and held there for several years until they forget who they were/adapt to the life in the wastelands/bombed out cities. also though, the ones who live very far from working cities and towns are cannibals

9:00 am - email from Ais to “Sonny”

well originally i was thinking she'd be kept there for a long period of time but actually in the context of the show that wouldnt work. so maybe people just thought she was going to be killed by the ferals and eaten by the cannibals at the end of the first season. or she could have nothing to do with the ferals; it was just an idea. also, someone else couldve been in danger of dying in some more normal way, like just a fight with scavengers or something. maybe an unexploded bomb went off too, who knows. or they could also touch on the rebels and have some rebel attack put someone in danger or someone joins some rebel group. i dont really care, theyre all just random ideas im throwing out

9:04 am - email from “Sonny” to Ais

i dont care about what all happens but like you said, her being kept there for long enough time for that to happen wouldnt work on a show unless there was a time jump. i assume the show takes place soon after the war

9:05 am - email from Ais to “Sonny”

yeah so forget about the turning into a feral thing. the main thing was i just thought it could be kind of fun/cool to get in parts of the original icos idea

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Rereading that now, I feel like I sound a bit bitchy in my replies on the feral stuff, even though in looking at it at this moment I think “Sonny”’s response makes total sense and I agree with “him” on that part of the email. No idea if I was feeling pissy/impatient that day and I truly was a bit tetchy in my replies, or if I was just super distracted writing or editing so I was being especially lazy about punctuation and paying attention to tone and accidentally made it sound a little more abrupt than I would if I were trying to be careful about that.

Anyway this seems to be the majority of the extra info I have on it. 

[barkilphedros-hat]

damn i completely missed you reblogging that writers ask meme from me ! 3, 11, 32, 49 ☺️

Haha thank you!! 🧡🧡

3. Least favourite part of writing?

Probably editing 😅 Or more specifically, that part of editing when you realise a sentence/paragraph/bit of dialogue you REALLY like doesn’t work with the rest of it so you have to get rid of it. I’ve written lots of little pieces that I thought were pretty good but had to delete them because they just didn’t gel with the fic as a whole 😅

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish?

Get idea. Procrastinate. Start writing. Take break. Keep writing. Procrastinate again. Write a bit more. Go back over the bits I’ve already done. Edit as I go/add in new scenes or trim the bits I don’t need. Finish writing. Go over it again for typos. Edit typos. Upload to AO3. Look over it again and realise I missed 15 typos. Fix those typos. Have a crisis for the rest of the evening. 😂

32. Easiest character to write?

This is hard because I tend to write quite a bit of fic from different POV’s but I think my most recent one written from Clarke’s perspective was one of the easiest. I like writing slightly flowery melodrama so an emotional wreck of a character from the 1600’s gave me quite a bit of freedom to go ham with it 😂😂

49. What do you find hardest to write in a story? The beginning, middle or end?

Oh definitely the middle. I tend to think of the ✨ Big Scenes ✨ and sometimes find it hard to connect them in the least “clunky” way. I like to build tension but I find it a bit difficult to do so naturally 😅

Thank you! 😍😍

[chloca-cola]

Vacation

Leon x Reader x Chris

Ok, this is a monster 😂 I got way into the fantasy and just couldn't stop myself. RIP because I'm on mobile and can't do the cut off thingie. I'm sorry

TW: Unprotected sex. Oral. Dirty talk. Breath play. Anal. Double penetration. Cursing. I think that covers it all. It's super smut 😂

WORD COUNT: 3,873

It's not edited because it's a lot, so there maybe typos haha

Ok, leggo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Finally!" You exclaim, dropping your bags before you slide open the glass door that lead to the balcony of the cute little cabin that you had rented for a few days. It overlooked the quaint little mountain town that seemed to be forgotten by time.

     "Don't get too excited." Came Leon's cynical tone from behind you and you turn to face the taller man. "You know they always get cut short." You roll your eyes and wave your hand at him dismissively.

     "Oh, pashaw. No one even knows you're on this vacation with me." You assure him, walking back into the room and plopping onto the bed before him, grinning. "You're all mine to do with as I please." You purr to him and it earned you a now rare smile from the handsome man. 

     "Oh really? And what exactly do you have planned to do with me, (y/n)?" Leon asked, his voice low, causing a thrill to shiver its way down your spine. You've been on several jobs with Leon, and it was a progression from work associates to lovers that you hadn't anticipated. You were certain no one knew about your romance with him, just as positive as you are that no one knows he's here with you now.

     "Well, now, I can't take all the surprise out of the vacation." You tease, toeing your shoes off and wiggling your toes, smiling playfully at him. Leon bent at his waist, your noses almost touching.

     "This is the first vacation I've had since mine got cut short because of Glenn Arias." Leon reminds you and you smirk.

     "Oh...is it?" You ask, feigning ignorance to tease him and he growled lowly in his throat, which is a really beautiful sound. You wanted to push his buttons, get him a little aggravated, because rough sex with Leon is amazing.

     You wiggle back on the bed, trying to get some distance from him, and you nearly got away, but at the last second Leon grabbed you by your ankles. He crawled onto the bed with you, and you began to grapple with him.

     He knows that turns you on to wrestle around with him, which is why he didn't just flat out pin you down. Seems he wants to push a few buttons too.

     After several minutes, you finally get him on his back and straddled him, panting, your hair falling about your face. You could feel his hardened member against your core and you smirk down at him.

     "Oh...are you wanting something, Leon?" You tease, rolling your hips, causing him to suck in air through his teeth and he got a glint in his eyes. That was the look you'd been working for.

     He sat up quickly, pinning your arms to your sides, his teeth sinking into your soft flesh, causing you to moan out loudly and cast your face to the ceiling.

     "Oh...fuck me, Leon." You pant out, the bite harder than normal; he must really be needing this as badly as you. His tongue smoothed over the bite, easing the sting and you feel him smile against your flesh.

     "I'm trying to, my dear." Almost animalistically, you tear each others clothes off before Leon tossed you face down onto the mattress. Still wanting to rile him up more, you try to scurry away from him, but he grabs your legs and pull you back towards him. He pulls you up to be flush against him, his hand gripped around your throat, the other on your hip as he teasingly slides his cock between your thighs.

     "You gonna be good for me now?" He whispered softly in your ear before bending you forward and you rest in your hands. His cock was already coated in your slick as he slammed into you roughly, all the way to the hilt, causing you to scream out in pleasure. Your whole body began to tremble.

     With one hand on your shoulder and the other still gripping your hip, Leon pulled all the way out before slamming into you again. You moan, wiggling back against him, looking over your shoulder at him, begging for more. You reach out and grab onto the headboard as he began his brutal pace.

      You squeal out his name with every hard thrust, feeling him leaning forward to kiss between your shoulder blades before biting into your skin just as hard as before. You moan out, pushing back against him, causing him to moan into your flesh.

      Leon's right hand trailed down your ribcage and over your abdomen to find your sensitive nub and rubbed a few practiced circles, causing your walls to clench around him. You moaned out his name loudly as came hard. With your body convulsing, you nearly missed the finger tapping your lower abdomen, signaling he wanted you to raise up.

      "Good girl." He praised through grunts, as his right hand pinned your right arm behind your back and his left gripped your throat. He had you held at an odd angle now, his cock hitting you deeper than before. Blackness began to edge your vision as he left hand squeezed harder on your throat.

     "Harder…" Was the only word you could muster in your lust filled haze, and he obliged by both thrusting harder and choking you harder. "Mmmmmore…" You moaned out, it felt like he was trying to reach your throat with his cock from you cunt, and your vision was nearly completely black, tears stinging your eyes. He was growling and grunting in time with his thrusting.

     "You're gonna cum again, with me this time. You understand?" He commanded, and you moaned out in confirmation. "Now!" He growled and you felt his cock pulsing, his warmth filling you, and you keened out loudly as your high washed over you again. You were about to black out when Leon finally released your throat and you heaved in a lungful of air, as you both collapsed forward on the bed.

     Both breathing heavily, Leon pulled out of you unceremoniously, and flopped onto the bed like a starfish. You turn your head to look at him, still on your stomach and you smile at him.

     "I love you." You breathe out but immediately freeze after realizing you had said it aloud. He turned his head, eyes wide with surprise and you blush.

     "Do...do you mean that, (y/n)?" He asked, cautiously, never officially being a couple all these years, and it seems you let an emotional connection form for Leon S. Kennedy. You smile, shyly.

     "Yeah...I do, Leon. I love you and I have for a while actually." You confess, turning onto your side and propping your head up with your fist. "Sorry if that, you know, makes things super awkward, but...you can't unring a bell." You finally add after several moments of silence.

     "No...it's not that." Leon began, pulling you on top of him, causing you to squeak at the sudden movement. "I've...felt the same since...well, probably our third job together all those years ago." He shrugged, brushing your hair from your face tenderly, tucking it behind your ears. "I just didn't think you could love someone like me." The admission caused a fuzzy feeling in your chest and you leaned down to kiss him again, feeling round two building, you were just about to mount him when a soft knock rapted at the door.

     "No fuckin' way." You mutter in disbelief against Leon's lips.

     "(Y/n)? It's Chris!" You groan.

     "No fuckin' way!" You repeat louder, crawling off of Leon, shrugging into a robe before marching to the door. "Vacation, Redfield, do you know what it means?" You yell through the door.

     "Come on, open up! It's not business." You blink, peeping through the hole to see that in fact Chris Redfield was in civilian clothes. You look over your shoulder at Leon, who had crawled under the comforter, and had a smirk on his lips. You turn your attention back to the door, opening it a crack.

     "Ok, you have my attention, Chris." A smile spread across his face, making him look even more like the teddy bear he is deep down and he held out a bouquet of flowers. You look down at the flowers and back up to his ruggedly handsome face, completely in shock. "Um...thanks?" You say, opening the door the rest of the way to take the flowers from him.

     "I figured you might want some company, so-" His sentence trailed once he saw Leon in the bed. "Oh…" You blush, suddenly feeling bad that Chris came all this way with a romantic gesture just to find Leon in your bed.

     "Chris…" you begin, but he just smiles, waving at Leon.

     "Hey, Leon." He greeted, walking passed you and you blink, very confused now.

     "Hey, Golden Boy. See you found the place ok." Leon greeted back, casually. "We may have gotten started without you." He explained and you made an incredulous noise and you shut the door hard.

     "Excuse me?" You cross your arms over your chest, still gripping the flowers, shifting your weight to your right leg, getting ready to chew them both out.

     "Babe, you told me once before that you'd like a threesome with Chris, remember?" You blush heavily at the memory, your eyes locking on Chris', who was smirking at you. The fantasy came about when you watched them training together before. "It's a little passed your birthday, but, happy birthday!" 

     "Like what you saw, huh?" He teased, giving you a shit eating grin, and you blushed more, covering your face with your free hand.

     "Don't let that shyness fool you. She likes it rough." Leon shared, and you hear Chris make an approving noise. "If she knows what buttons to press to make you angry, she will."

     "Leon!" You growled, removing your hand so you could glare at him, but he was unaffected. 

      "She likes to wrestle a bit first too." You had to regain control of this situation, you felt like a piece of meat on display, and Leon was showing Chris all the good parts. Chris turned to face you, a mischievous grin on his lips.

     "Oh yeah?" Oh shit, your alarm bells began ringing in your head to run as he began to unbutton his pants. You weren't afraid of Chris necessarily, but he is a lot more buff than your sinewy Leon. Setting the flowers aside, you untie your robe, letting it fall daintily from your body, pooling at your feet, against your better judgement. You smirk as it stops Chris dead in his tracks.

      "What's the matter, Redfield?" You ask, cockily, stepping towards him, swishing your hips and he smiles, before looking over his shoulder at Leon.

     "You're one lucky bast-" You take advantage of his guard being down and you pounced and you heard Leon chuckle under his breath.

      "She's also like a predator...don't ever turn your back on her." Chris spun, tossing you like a clay disc and you fell onto the couch, spread eagle on your back. The display caused Chris to hesitate again, and another smirk played on your lips as you reached between your legs to finger yourself sensually, never breaking eye contact with him.

     "Fuck…" He whispered, a sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead and you moaned out his name.

     "You want me? Come and get me." You challenged him, giving him your own mischievous smile and a wink before climbing off the couch. You begin to circle each other like predators.

     "Get him, babe." Leon encouraged from the bed, one arm tucked under his head as he watched you two size each other up. "Show him who's boss." You giggled at Leon, which turned out to be a mistake, that slight distraction gave Chris his opening.

     To say he tackled you, would be an understatement. The wind was knocked out of your lungs as you landed on your back.

     "Oof!" Was the noise you made, and you stare blankly at the ceiling above you, doing your best imitation of a fish out of water.

     "Shit, Chris. Don't kill her!"  Leon scolded, his beautiful face coming into your vision as he bent over you to check on you.

      "Dude, put some pants on…" Chris groaned before getting close to your face. "You ok, beautiful?"

     "Too...rough." You wheezed out, finally able to take a breath.

     "Sorry…" He apologized, almost shyly. "Guess I got a little too into it." You huffed out a laugh.

      "Well...you're wearing too many clothes for this party, Redfield." You purr, pulling at the hem of his shirt. "You know, I don't get to see you outta your gear very often." You observe as he sat up on his knees to remove his shirt, revealing his overly muscled chest. "Oh...my God." You say, breathlessly, as you reach out to trace along his abdomen with your fingertips.

     "Good thing I'm not the jealous type…" Leon almost pouted as he watched you drooling over Chris' muscles, which rippled under your touch. 

      "Leon, you know I love you, right?" You ask, almost absently.

     "Yeah, I do."

     "Good." You sit up, running your tongue along Chris' eight pack. Leon's muscles are very toned, and taut, and were gorgeous on him. Chris however was buff and beefy, something you aren't used too. You look up and lock eyes with Chris who was watching you intensely. You finished unzipping his jeans, tugging them down to his knees, palming his bulge as you did. His eyes fluttered closed and he groaned lowly.

     You hook your fingers in his boxers next, pulling them down, his erection bobbed against your lips, and you teasingly kissed the tip of his cock, pulling another low groan from Chris.

     Chris' cock has way more girth to it then Leon's, his being perfect in length and girth, in your opinion. Chris' is heavy in your hand, and you become nervous, your fingers not able to make a full circle around his shaft, unsure if you could fit him into your mouth, but mama didn't raise a quitter. You take a deep calming breath. 

     "Think you can handle thissss?" His words turned into a hiss as you began working on him. "Ah…" He breathed out as his hips bucked involuntarily, and you grabbed his hips to hold him in place. With each bob, you relax your throat muscles to take more of him in until you gag, tears stinging your eyes. You pull back, drool running down your chin, and he reached out and swiped it off with his thumb, smirking at you.

      "She's beautiful like that, huh?" Leon boasted, but Chris didn't answer him, instead he leaned down and kissed you. It was softer than you'd imagine it would be from such a bear of a man, gently cupping your chin with his hand. "Hey, hey, hey! Ok, maybe I'm a little more of the jealous type than I thought." The statement caused you to laugh against Chris' mouth before looking up at Leon, whose mouth was twisted into a small scowl.

     "Oh, Scottie." You teased him, and he rolled his eyes at the nickname, as you maneuvered over to him, taking his cock in your hand, giving him a few slow pumps, before taking him into your mouth. Knowing exactly what he likes, you had his legs trembling quickly.

     You could hear Chris as he finished undressing and soon you felt his hand cupping your breast from behind, pinching your nipple, causing you to moan on Leon's cock. A sinful pop sounded as you removed his cock from your mouth, looking up at him, winking. 

      "Care to move this to the bed?" You ask, breathlessly, but quickly squeaked as Chris hefted you up with ease, carrying you to the bed. On the mattress, you look up to see both men naked and glorious before you and you bite you lower lip. 

     "So, how's this fantasy go, exactly?" Leon asks you, and you prop yourself up on your forearms.

     "Well, one is being spit roasted and the other is double penetration." You answer cavalierly as if you're asking for a glass of water. "So either is fine." You shrug.

     "Why not both?" Chris offers and you give him a devilish grin.

     "Well, I can't do this alone." You remark coquettishly, patting the bed before sitting up on your knees.

     "I wanna experience that mouth more, (y/n)." Chris admits, as you assume the position between the men as they joined you on the bed.

     "My pleasure." You say, taking him into your mouth again, as Leon positioned himself at your entrance again, thrusting in slower this time and you moaned on Chris.

    Chris’ hands tangled in you hair as you sucked him off, moaning and mewling as Leon picked up his pace, and Chris thrust into your mouth, causing you to gag on him again, which you beginning to realize he likes hearing. Your walls fluttered around Leon’s cock causing him to abruptly pull out, causing a whimper to pull from you.

    “Not yet, babe.” He teased, kissing your lower back, smoothing his hand up your spine, Chris grunted but forced himself to leave the warmth of your mouth. While he still had you in this position, Leon dipped down to swipe his tongue along your slick folds, inhaling deeply as he did. “God, you smell so good.” He growled lowly and your cunt clenched at the praise.

    Leon crawled off the bed, motioning for you to follow him, which you followed quickly. “Bend over.” He commanded, and you placed your hands on the edge of the bed as he retrieved a bottle of lube from his suitcase. You feel the slick liquid hit your asscrack, and he used his finger to prep your hole. You two have partaken in this particular activity before, but it had been awhile. Sliding in a second finger, you groaned and willed your muscle to relax. “That’s it, babe.” He praised again before removing his fingers, replacing them with his cock gingerly.

    You lock eyes with Chris again to see him studying you like a piece of fine art, pumping himself slowly and you moaned at the scene, and after Leon was buried to the hilt, you let out a shuddering breath, and hang you head.

    Chris then moved off the bed, unsure of what Leon was really doing at first, until he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, still buried in you. You moan at all the movement, your muscles clenching him and he groaned out.

    “No cumming in her, got it, Redfield?” Chris rolled his eyes, but nodded, positioning himself in between your legs, teasingly running his cock over your slit, coating himself in your silk, before grabbing your legs and gripping your ankles together, placing them on his shoulder, while easing himself into your entrance. You moan unabashedly, your head falling back on Leon’s shoulder, and he kissed your temple.

    “You’re doing great, (y/n).” He whispered to you as your walls twitched, acclimating to the feeling of having both men inside you. Once you relaxed, they set their pace, pistoning in and out of you in time, and all you could do was moan and enjoy the feeling. Your form was shaking in between them, and it seemed like they were fighting for dominance, seeing which could make you cum first.

    Both men were growling, thrusting harder, Chris pressing into you more, kissing and nipping you calf as he did, Leon was kissing your neck and massaging your breasts, and you decided that if you were to die like this from over stimulation, that you would at least die happy.

    Tears ran down your face, whimpers the only noise you could make as they both continued to rail you, when finally your coil snapped and you cried out loudly. Your walls milked Chris, causing him to curse and nearly cum inside you. He pulled out quickly, just as his ropey seed shot out, coating the back of your thighs and lips.

    You stared at the ceiling in a daze. “Your turn, Leon…” You say, absently and he hummed in response, still kissing your neck.

    “I came when you did.” He informed you, and only then did you feel his cum leaking from you, you were so caught in your sensations, you had missed it, and him subsequently pulling out. He wrapped his arms around you and laid back on the bed, both still panting heavily.

    “That was amazing.” You pant as Chris sat down on the bed beside the two of you.

    “Yeah, wouldn’t mind this becoming a normal thing.” Chris admits, looking over his shoulder at you, smiling. You roll off of Leon, to lay in between them, and Chris then laid back as well. 

    “I think I agree with you. It should become a normal thing. If you don't have anywhere to go, why don’t you stay here? We can do it all again after we get cleaned up and have some dinner.” You suggest and he smiles.

    “Sounds like a plan.” He agrees just as Leon’s light snoring came from your other side and you both laugh. “Guess he’ll miss the shower, huh?” Chris teased you, ticking his chin towards the bathroom, and you chew your lower lip, debating on if Leon would even be ok with it, but really, after what just happened, what difference would it make? You shrug and follow Chris to the shower.

~~~~~

    Inside the walk in shower, the warm water ran over both your bodies as Chris’ mouth was on yours, his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth, as you moaned into the caverns of his.

    “Shouldn’t we be showering?” You tease, as he kissed down your jaw to you neck, you were actually surprised he was hard again so soon, as he backed you up against the slick tile wall.

    “We are.” He answered you jovially, as he grabbed your bottle of shower gel and squirted some on you chest, massaging it into your skin, lathering it up. “Happy now?” You laughed at him, as he placed the bottle back on the stand, and your pulled him in for another kiss. He hoisted you up on the wall, wrapping your legs around his waist, his cock prodding your entrance once more before he gently slid into you.

    His pace was slow and gentle compared to what just happened in the other room, and you moaned softly, locking your arms around his neck. His hands were holding your thighs firmily as he thrust deep and slowly, sending you hurtling to another orgasm. Your lower back was hitting the tile over and over with his movement, as he ended the kiss, burying his face in your neck, moaning into your flesh. 

    Your toes curled as another orgasm claimed you, shaking against him and moaning loudly, and Chris, still following the rules, pulled out, shooting his cum onto your abdomen.

    Chris kissed you again, lowering your legs, and you both finally cleaned up, before joining Leon on the bed, who was still sleeping away, and you decided dinner could wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@mitsuintheworks @imagineleonkennedy @disneymarina @80it @vampyra-needs-food

Please don't hesitate to ask if you want tagged in the furture! Sorry if I forgot anyone!

[avauntus]

Whumptober + random warm-up

So I don’t even remember how I found it, but apparently there’s a theme month in October for writing...angsty fic. Whumptober. Which is my default jam, but I feel badly about subjecting readers to angst without a lot of plot build-up first. But now! Here’s a whole 31 days of-- just write the bash-y parts!

...feels irresponsible! haha

I don’t think I have very many actual, non-garbage fics in me for these prompts, but I thought it might be a fun exercise to have my computer roll a random number 1-31 and then write for 30 minutes without editing much except misspelling and typos-- as a warm-up.

These little ficlets might be garbage! They (likely) will have no plot! But I’ll probably try this out until I get tired or sick of it... 

(why am I posting these, this is such a bad idea...) That being said, please don’t copy to another site without my permission - thanks!

no. 26 -  “ Migraine | Concussion | Blindness”

Fandom: My Country: the New Age AU: Canon Divergence (ep. 2 - post Military Exam) Seo Hwi & Nam Seon-ho (typed out over ~20 minutes in the txt msg box -- sorry for the odd formatting) -----------

“Hwi, you can’t go to sleep.”

“Seon-ho, haven’t you had ENOUGH of tormenting me today? You won, congratulations, your father is going to be thrilled. Leave me alone.” “I won’t. The barracks medic was firm on this- you shouldn’t sleep until he’s certain the head wound isn’t the kind that will KEEP you asleep.” “Every single part of my body aches, and that’s thanks to you striking me AFTER YOU FELL, so I’m not inclined to be very forgiving at the moment. Believe me when I tell you— Fuck off, Seon-ho. I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t care what you think you want me to do... just get out of my face. Don’t you have some silly hat ceremony to go to?” “...I told them no.” “You what?” “Hwi, if you don’t want to see me after this, I will honor that, but I owe Yeon to deliver you back home in one piece. So DO listen to me right now—“ “Seon-ho, what did you do?” “I’m not the one who started punching the city guard first.” “Ugh. You were awake for that?” “The later part of it. Right before I started attacking them.” “You... Seon-ho, I feel like every part of me was used as a bellows at the forge for a day straight. You ARE NOT saying what I’m hearing. You’re not.” “You need to stay awake, and you need to get up, right now, Hwi. Between my making a mockery of the sham results my father arranged and your refusing to let them drag you out, they threw us into the soldiers’ bunkhouse until they could decide what they needed to do to fix this, but they’re going to need a scapegoat.” “This is too much talking. We have to run, fine, ok.” Hwi drug himself to his feet painfully. “Let’s go.” “Go to Ihwaru,” Seon-ho said. “Hui-Jae knows medicine, I think.” “We’ll both go,” Hwi said. “They need an example,” Seon-ho said. “Or two, if you stay. It will be worse for you if you stay. They just need to slap me on the wrist and then deliver the results my father arranged.” “And you’re OK with that?” Hwi asked. “If I have to be.” “Well,” Hwi said, tried to take a step forward, staggered, and fell. “I guess we’ll test that idea today too. I don’t think I can walk.” “Hwi...” “If it’s all the same to you, I think I will nap until they show up again. I’m exhausted.” “Hwi, don’t... Hwi!”

[landofmelodyandstars]

DRV3 Gift Reactions Transcription.

These are transcriptions of the character’s gift reactions from drv3. Spoilers for Chapter 1 Danganronpa v3 below the cut.

Characters are listed in the same order as my posts with the proper screenshots of these reactions. Every new line of text is a new dialog box.

Assume that the reactions are from Chapter 1 unless specifically marked as otherwise. (Tbh I actually got the majority of this transcribed the other day, I was just waiting to sleep and recharge my energy to get and edit the post-chapter-1 screenshots I needed to finish it.)

I’ve only transcribed post-chapter-1 gift reactions that are significantly different--it can generally be safely assumed that Kaede’s name is simply replaced by Shuichi’s in places where it comes up.

My masterpost for gift reactions is here. My masterlist for all things danganronpa-related is here. (Just be warned as there may be whole game/series spoilers there depending on how far in the future you’re reading this.) The things here are transcribed exactly, including dropped words and typos, but they’ll still be marked with [sic] because I want to differentiate between the errors in the game and my own inability to type correctly.

~Shuichi Saihara~

Loved Gifts:

Kaede... thank you. I’ve never received something like this before. I’m so happy I... I don’t know what to say!

Ah? For me? Kaede...you’re amazing! How did you know I want this?

Liked Gifts:

Can I...really have this? Thank you, I’ll take good care of it. I’ll help soothe my anxiety as dark times like this.

I can tell that you put a lot of time and thought into this... Thank you. You giving me something this wonderful... I wish I could give you something in return.

Neutral Gifts:

Ah, do you like this kind of stuff, Kaede? I don’t really get it...but maybe I’ll learn to love it?

I didn’t know the academy had things like this... I wonder if this was prepared for us. If it was, they must have quite the budget... They can afford to have aesthetic items like this.

You’re...giving this to me? Thank you... I’ll cherish it.

Disliked Gifts:

Ah, um, I don’t think I can accept this... I do appreciate the thought, but... I’m sorry.

Ah...I don’t know... why you’d give me this... Ah! Is this a joke? S-Sorry, I don’t get it!

Hated Gift(s):

...I-I’m sorry... Even if it’s a gift from you, I can’t accept it. I’m really sorry... I know you’re just trying to make me happy...

But for you to give me something at a time like this, I... I can’t believe you’d do that. I can’t believe you’d be the kind of person who would do something so tasteless...

~Kokichi Oma~

Loved Gifts:

H-How do you have something this amazing, Kaede? Did you steal this!? The supreme leader of evil lost!? Grrrrr... Dammit! This pisses me off!

Hey, I’m surprised you had something so interesting on you, Kaede. But if you think something like this would make me happy, you got another thing coming! ...Just kidding. Thank you.

Liked Gifts:

This is a pretty decent present, Kaede. Are you starting to get me now? It feels good to know that you thought long and hard about what tribute to give me.

Hmm...I guess this isn’t *that* boring. You have pretty good taste, Kaede. Well, not as good as mine. I’ll surprise you with a gift one of these days, Kaede!

Woooah! This is niiiice! I’ve always wanted something like this! By the way, that’s not a lie, ‘kay? Don’t worry, I’m actually happy.

Neutral Gifts:

Hm, for me? I’ll take it, but... You’re not getting any thanks from me, buddy! Well, I might repay your kindness...with tricks. Since I *am* the supreme leader of evil.

How do I put this nicely... Well...it’s not bad, but it’s not good either... And by that, I mean it’s bad.

Disliked Gifts:

Wooooow, this is just aaaawful! It’s soooo boring that it’s funny! Um, I don’t really want this. Toss it somewhere else.

Um...why would you think I’d like this? You have pretty bad taste, Kaede. I thought we were of one heart and soul.

*sigh* ...You disappoint me. I thought you would’ve made it more fun for me, Kaede. Or are you hinting that I should make it fun for you instead?

Hated Gift(s):

I...I didn’t know you hated me that much, Kaede... WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Even if you do hate me, this is going too far! Well, at least this isn’t boring... But you gotta make it up to me later, ‘kay?

~Kaito Momota~

Loved Gifts:

A-Are you serious!? I didn’t think you could even find this around here! Kaede...this makes me so happy! Gimme a hug!

Oh, nice! This gift’s a real bullseye! Your thoughts hit me dead center! Alright! Since you gave it to me, I’ll teach you all about this thing!

Liked Gifts:

Are you giving this to me? Haha, you know me so well! Alright! As thanks for this cool gift, I’ll tell you a cool story!

Oh, that’s pretty interesting. This is almost the perfect gift for a Luminary of the Stars! You’re on the right path.

Neutral Gifts:

You’ve got a bunch of stuff, huh? You’re not just trying to unload some garbage on me, right?

Huh? What’s this? Where’d you get it? Well, if it’s a gift from you, then I’ll totally accept it.

Disliked Gifts:

Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do with this? What’s up with you? This isn’t like you, man!

Did you really think I’d like something like this? C’mon, man... Are you making fun of me? Nah you wouldn’t, but...

Hated Gift(s):

Hey...we can still pretend it was just a joke, so put that away.

H-Hold up...don’t put that near me. You got it? Why do you even have such a weird think!? Toss it in the garbage!

~Rantaro Amami~

Loved Gifts:

Did you...get me this because you thought it’d make me happy? I guess you thought I’d like this kind of thing, based on how I dress. Haha... Well, ah, thanks anyway.

Now *this* I like. I knew you had good taste, Kaede. I can learn from you.

Liked Gifts:

You’ve got something pretty interesting there. Where did you find it? Oh, you’re giving it to me? A present? That’s so sweet. You’re being so nice to a guy that doesn’t even know his own talent...

But this looks really valuable. Are you sure you want me to have it? I’ll get you something special one day too. I have some pretty rare things myself.

Neutral Gifts:

I always get butterflies in my tummy when people give me gifts. Thank you. Is there anything you want, Kaede? I want to give you something in return.

Wow, they even have stuff like this here? This place gets weirder and weirder. Don’t you think it’s odd? That you would find this stuff here?

Oh...for me? No no, it’s not that I don’t like it... Just the thought makes me happy, Kaede.

Disliked Gifts:

Really? You’re giving this to me? Kaede, you have...unique taste. I never expected this from you.

Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but maybe there’s someone else who would enjoy it more? I think you should give this to someone who can really appreciate it.

Hated Gift(s):

Haha...my, this is a pretty dark gift. You look like a sunny and cheerful girl, but I guess there’s a dark side to ya.

~Gonta Gokuhara~

Loved Gifts:

Oh wow... Gonta think bug friends will like this. Kaede like bugs, too? Gonta so happy!

Gentlemen wear small trinkets... Gonta must remember that. Gonta still not used to gentleman clothes... This very helpful, Kaede!

Liked Gifts:

Ummm... But real gentleman say nice thing. Then gentleman give gift, too... Gonta not real gentleman yes, huh...? Someday Gonta give Kaede nice gift!

What? For Gonta? Thank you, Kaede! Gonta not get gifts often... Gonta happy! Very very happy!

Neutral Gifts:

Hmmm... Gonta not know stuff like this exist. Thanks for showing Gonta, Kaede!

For Gonta? Thank you! Gonta treasure it always. How that? Gonta show gentleman gratitude okay? 

Hmmm...Kaede like this kinda stuff? Gonta think he understand now. Gonta try hard to appreciate gift.

Disliked Gifts:

Ummm... Sorry. Gonta not sure what to do with this. Gonta know Kaede mean well... Gonta so pathetic!

K-Kaede... You...hate Gonta!? Oh, G-Gonta wrong? Gonta just not understand.

Hated Gift(s):

Kaede...no can give gift like this! Is not proper! O-Or...d-does Kaede...hate...Gonta? G-Gonta...*sniffle*...so sad!

Oh, sorry... This sorta thing give Gonta bad memories... Gonta hope Kaede not feel bad now... Gonta really sorry!

~K1-B0~

Loved Gifts:

Kaede... Thank you very much. I am humbled by your generosity. Did you give me this simply because I am a robot? I will report you robophobic actions.

This is...quite a practical gift. Thank you. Please don’t get the wrong impression... I’m happy because this gift is so practical. Under different circumstances, this gift could be considered robophobia.

Liked Gifts:

This is...quite a fascinating item! Are you sure I can have it? I wish I could give you something in return, but I have nothing to give... I’m sorry.

...A toy? Is this your way of bringing me a friend? Do you see me a toy[sic], too? I’d prefer not to be compared to this toy...but as far as toys go, I guess it’s kind of cute.

This is nice. It aligns with my preferences. You understand me... I feel...happy.

Neutral Gifts:

...I’m sorry. I cannot see myself ever developing an interest in this. Should I feign happiness in this situation? That seems illogical to me...

A present from Kaede... There, I’ve finished saving a backup copy of this memory. I hope to repay your kindness one day.

Disliked Gifts:

I’m sorry. I can’t do anything with food or beverages except stare at them... I this kind of gift is wasted on me. You should probably give it to someone else.

... ... I’m sorry. I was calculating the appropriate response to a situation like this.

...I don’t know how to react to being given a gift like this. It would be insincere of me to just accept this gifts, so I must politely decline it.

Hated Gift(s):

Wh-What’s wrong with you!? Why would you give me a gift like this!? This isn’t some kind of robophobic microaggression, is it!?

~Ryoma Hoshi~

Loved Gifts:

Hmph...not bad at all. Sometimes, even I want to feel happy ...so I’ll accept this. Thanks.

If you’re giving me this... you really get me, huh? I don’t hve anything to give you, is that okay? Hmph...you’re strange.

Liked Gifts:

Hmph...nothing good will come from making me happy, you know? Sorry I can’t show how happy I am... I really am grateful for this gift.

Oh...you’ve got good taste. I hope I can return the favor. But I’m not great at giving gifts.

Neutral Gifts:

Hmph...you’re giving this to me? What’s the meaning of this? Well, whatever. I guess you didn’t mean anything bad by it.

Huh? You seemed like the conscientious type, but did I misjudge you? Well...I guess having a side like that is just part of your charm, huh?

Giving me a gift... You’re a strange one. I...appreciate the thought.

Disliked Gifts:

Exactly what sort of reaction were you expecting from me? Sorry, but I’m not a fan of joke gifts.

That’s just not cool... I thought you’d have better taste than that. Hmph...I don’t have anything to say to a gift like that.

Hated Gift(s):

I won’t make a scene about this insult...but I’ll remember it. Even if someone’s not a good person, you can’t just be rude like that...

You’re giving that to me? What’s you game...? I’m not sure it you’re being a punk or just nosy, but I’m not accepting that.

~Korekiyo Shinguji~

Loved Gifts:

This is...! Kaede, where on Earth did you find such a thing!? Ooh...I never dreamed of encounter such a splendid item here.

To have brought this to me... You truly have an eye for treasures. Kehehe...what a wonderful woman you are. I have no complains with this. If you’d like, I can tell you this item’s history. Are you interested?

Loved Gifts (post chapter 1):

To have brought this to me... You truly have an eye for treasures. If you’d like, I can tell you this item’s history. Are you interested?

Liked Gifts:

I may have this? Kehehe...much appreciated. You enjoy giving gifts? Perhaps we can discuss cultural gift giving practices.

This is a fine gift... It almost makes me sorry to be the receiving it. I would like to at least tell you some stories in return. Which one though...?

Neutral Gifts:

Kehehe...did you think giving me this would make me happy? Interesting... It would appear you don’t yet know me well enough.

The desire to do something for someone. I understand it well. But is it not necessary to consider what will make that person happy?

Disliked Gifts:

Honestly, I cannot understand your reasons for giving me this. Do tell...what were your intentions giving me this?

Hmm...even if your[sic] have poor taste, that is beautiful too... Not everyone shares the same preferences. Do keep that in mind.

Hated Gift(s):

I cannot accept this. Are you taking the occult lightly?

~Kaede Akamatsu~

Loved Gifts:

Shuichi...I’m just so ecstatic! I thought I had been the only one looking at you, but I guess you’ve noticed me, too. I think that, because... you gave me such a pretty gift.

Whoa! Can I really have this!? Thanks, I’m so happy right now! You really know what makes me smile, Shuichi. But, I guess *you* would know what I like!

Liked Gifts:

Oh! I was just thinking about getting one of these! I can’t believe you already know what I like, even though we just met... Well, that’s a detective for ya!

I really like these kinda of things. Do you enjoy them too, Shuichi? It would make me a bit happier to know we like the same things. Oh, god... I think I said something embarrassing just now.

Neutral Gifts:

Hmm...so you like these kinds of things, Shuichi. I’ll remember that. Someday, I’ll give you a present, too... Oh, I don’t mean it in a weird way. It’s to return the favor, okay?

I see... You carry these things around, huh, Shuichi? How did you find them in this academy? Or did you have them before you came here?

Disliked Gifts:

Umm... Your taste is...unique... Oh, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. If you like it, then that’s your choice.

Umm...I’m sorta curious why you chose to give this to me... I don’t hate it. Well...I’m actually happy!

Hated Gift(s):

This isn’t okay, Shuichi...Even if it’s a joke, there are some things you shouldn’t do. If we weren’t in such a weird situation, I might be able to laugh it off.

~Maki Harukawa~

Loved Gifts:

Is this for me...? Hmm... ...Huh, do I look mad? I may not show it, but I’m actually pretty happy.

...Thank you. I’ll cherish this. Why are you surprised? I got something I like, so of course I’m going to thank you for it.

Liked Gifts:

Hmm... You must not worry a lot if you’re giving presents in a situation like this... ...Well, it’s not like I mind. I’ll take it.

This is...something you should give to a child. You shouldn’t give this to someone my age. Well...when we get out of here, I’ll give it to the kids. That’s why you gave it to me, right?

Neutral Gifts:

...You have surprisingly bad taste. If you don’t want it, then I don’t mind keeping it.

I see... You’re giving it to me. What? Did you think I would be excited? Sorry, but I don’t intend to give empty thanks because of social obligations.

I don’t think it’s bad to give presents after spending time... But you should really think about the present first before giving it, don’t you think?

Disliked Gifts:

What is this...? Where did you even get this thing? It’s for me? Why would you even thing about giving this to me?

Wait... I’m going to stop you right now if you plan to give me something I don’t want. ...Am I wrong? That’s a joke, right?

Hated Gift(s):

... Sorry, but I don’t need this.

~Miu Iruma~

Loved Gifts:

Wh-What? How did you know I’ve wanted this? D-Don’t tell me...you’re that into me... Naturally, a flat-chested idiot like you would fall for a brainy, busty, beauty like me!

Wha—! I-I’ve...wanted this...so bad... I took you for an idiot, Kaediot, but it turns out you’re actually pretty useful! Heh, I could give you one of my inventions as a show of gratitude!

Loved Gifts (post-chapter-1):

Wh-What? How did you know I’ve wanted this? D-Don’t tell me...you’re that into me... Well, I guess a perma-virgin like you can’t help but think about[sic] all day long!

Wha—! I-I’ve...wanted this...so bad... Not bad, perma-virgin! When are ya plannin’s to slip some fliff between these big ol’ titties!? Well, if you’re tugging it to me every day, I guess I can let the slide!

Liked Gifts:

Damn, Kaediot! You actually brought me somethin’ nice! Alright, I’ll show you an invention of mine! I bet you’re so thankful, you’re about to cry! Huh? Y-You’re not interested? Whyyyy?

Whoa! I’ve wanted this for a while! I never expected you to have it, Kaediot! Why didn’t you give it to me sooner!? Geez, you just wasted my precious time!

Neutral Gifts:

What the hell were you thinkin’ givin’ this to me!? Do you have any how[sic] valuable my time is!?

Hm? What’s this? I mean, I guess I’ll take it... This is what you’re givin’ to me lovely self? I figured you for a fuckn’ idiot, but...

Hmmm... Well, I could probably use it for my invention so I guess I’ll take it. What, you want me to thank you? You should be thankin’ me for takin’ it off you hands!

Disliked Gifts:

Huh!? You’re givin’ this to me? You really are an idiot, aren’tcha!? I was right to start callin’ you “Kaediot”!

Maaaaaan! I’m startin’ to feel sorry for ya! Cuz, well...look at me! I’m beautiful, brainy, busty... You’re just a flat-chested Plain Jane who knows jack shit about proper gift-giving!

Disliked Gifts (post-chapter-1):

Huh!? You’re givin’ this to me? You really are a piece of shit, aren’tcha!? I was right to start callin’ you “Pooichi”!

Maaaaaan! I’m startin’ to feel sorry for ya! Cuz, well...look at me! I’m beautiful, brainy, busty... You’re just a perma-virgin with a stupid hat who knows jack shit about proper gift-giving!

Hated Gift(s):

Huh...? Do you really hate me that much? Why else would you give this to me? N-No way...

~Tenko Chabashira~

Loved Gifts:

K-Kaede, what a wonderful gift! Truly, only girst understand other girls’ delicate hearts! It’d be great if I can thank you in some way... How about I teach you a Neo-Aikido move!?

Thank you very much, Kaede! You understand me so well! This is making me too happy! It’s making me blush!

Loved Gifts (post-chapter-1):

Even though you’re a male, you made me happy... I feel like I lost! I’m annoyed, so I’m gonna throw you! Then we’ll be even!

You gave me exactly what I needed... Shuichi, do you understand the way of Neo-Aikido, too!? Then maybe I can smash your body onto the floor with a Neo-Aikido move!

Liked Gifts:

Wow! Amazing, Kaede! This is a wonderful gift! It’s probably because you’re a pianist that you know how to pick gifts! Please teach me!

What!? Y-You’re giving this to me!? Wow, I’m so happy! Thank you so much!

Liked Gifts (post-chapter-1):

Urgh... Not bad, Shuichi! You actually made me really happy! But don’t assume you can appease me! Girls are not that simple!

Even though you’re a male, you gave a gift that would make someone happy! But, I’m not so easy to overcome with just this! Please don’t underestimate me!

Neutral Gifts:

It’s so nice of you to bring me a gift, Kaede! But, of course a girl would! Oh no! I didn’t bring you anything! I-I’m so sorry!

Woah! I didn’t know there was something like this as school! Where’d you find it, Kaede? I wish I could give something in return... Would you like to see some Neo-Aikido instead!?

Huh, a present? Th-Thank you so much! I’m sorry I can’t understand the value of this gift, but your good feelings have reached me!

Neutral Gifts (post-chapter-1):

I don’t know what you’re thinking, Shuichi. So I guess I can stay and listen to you! Girls are not merciless enough to send someone away after they gave a gift!

O-Oh, is this for me...? This gift didn’t do any wrong, so I’ll take it... But even though you’re a detective, you’re still a make who ca’t understand girls’ feelings!

There must be an ulterior motive when a degenerate male gives a gift to a girl... So that’s why I’ll take this. It’s better than you giving it to Himiko or the other girls!

Disliked Gifts:

Kaede, you have an...um...unique taste. Well, you’re a pianist so... Do you feel like you were a bit too sheltered and it affected your taste in things?

I-I wasn’t aware that there would be such a huge difference in sensitivity between girls! Well, I’m not denying your taste... But I think I’ll pass on this...

Disliked Gifts (post-chapter-1):

... Sorry, I’m just surprised how bad this gift is *even* for a degenerate! I assume you want me to throw you across the room, right, Shuichi!?

Huuuuh? What do you want me to do with something like this? Did you think I would be happy? You completely underestimate me! Now, I’m gonna throw you!

Hated Gift(s):

I’m not too sure about this, Kaede... I don’t really wanna say it... But the thought of you handing this to someone else... Well, it makes my heart hurt...

Kaede! What’s going on here!? Did those degenerate males influence you to be vulgar and insensitive!? I will teach you Neo-Aikido then! You mind will become calm!

Hated Gift(s) (post-chapter-1):

...It seems you want to be punished. Got anything to say? You may say only one word.

~Himiko Yumeno~

Loved Gifts:

Oooh...you clearly know what’s important for a mage. Hm, as thanks I’ll show you some of my magic.

Oooh...this is it. The item I needed. Not bad. Please bring me more stuff to increase me magic stat.

Liked Gifts:

You must have used a “Find Himiko A Good Gift” spell. Hm, well done. I don’t mind you giving me more stuff from now on.

Hmm...yes, this will do. Now my MP can recover. Well, it’s still not enough to power a big spell...

Neutral Gifts:

Hm...offerings for the mighty Himiko... Yes, this will do. This thing has no magic. A gift for a mage should be magical, y’know?

Hm? What that for me? I didn’t realize. If you can’t give proper gifts, you’ll have a lot of trouble in life.

Nyeh... For me? Sorry, but saying thanks is too much work...

Disliked Gifts:

... Nyeeeh...I’m at a loss. What are you thinking giving me something like this?

Nyeeeh... I don’t want it. I don’t know what you want, but put that away already.

Hated Gift(s):

Are you bullying me? You’re bullying me cuz no one else is around, huh? I wanna turn you into a lowly worm with my magic.

~Kirumi Tojo~

Loved Gifts:

Will there be duties where I must use this? Then I will accept it, by all means. Am I mistaken? In that case, I will use this to aid you. Shall we begin then?

I never told you I needed this, but... Is it truly alright for me to have this? Thank you. This will help me immensely. If I use this, this can help everyone as well.

Liked Gifts:

Even though I am here to serve you, I cannot believe I received such a great gift. The only way I can return the favor is to serve as you maid... Is that alright with you?

It seems I do not have to give you any advice on how to select the right gift. You have made me...incredibly happy.

Neutral Gifts:

You wish you give this to me, correct? I understand. I will treasure it. I do not want you to misunderstand... ...but, I am grateful that you have chosen a gift just for me.

Are you asking me to throw this away? I understand. Leave it to me. Am I wrong? Please accept my apology. I failed as a maid to understand your goodwill.

I see...so you are giving this to me. I have been asked if I wanted a present before, but this is a surprise. Thank you.

Disliked Gifts:

Kaede... if you do not know which gift to select, then please ask me. I will teach you how to choose the best present and the most optimal way to deliver them.

I am not impressed with the kind of gifts you choose for people. If you order me to throw it away, then that would be far more efficient.

Hated Gift(s):

Kaede... Even if it is a prank, it is not nice to give people these kinds of gifts. I never imagined you would do such a thing...

~Angie Yonaga~

Loved Gifts:

Ohhhh! How divine of you, Kaede! Nyahaha! My cup runneth over with gratitude!

This is it! This is what I’ve been after! How did you know, Kaede? Did Atua speak to you?

Liked Gifts:

I see, I see... Kaede, you know how Angie is feeling today. With all the offering’s you’ve brought me, Angie[sic] must be having lots of fun. I will be happy.

Oh, I see... This offering will earn Atua’s favor somewhat, Kaede. I will pray to Atua for you, Karde, so that you may become a gold member someday.

Neutral Gifts:

Do you think this is a divine relic, Kaede? I don’t really see it. But Atua says you have decent taste. Good for you, Kaede.

The academy has mysterious miracles like this? This can only be a blessing from Atua.

Hmmm, is this your offering Kaede? This is a decent effort. Atua is watching your devotion closely.

Disliked Gifts:

Atua has spoken... Such an offering is unacceptable. Kaede, I think this offering will offend Atua. I know I’m certainly disappointed.

Hmm? What’s wrong, Kaede? Are you sad because you can’ hear Atua’s voice? It’s okay; I’ll tell you what He’s saying. You don’t need to worry about a thing. Oh, you can just throw that offering away.

Hated Gift(s):

Kaede... Atua will forgive you if you ask. Come, let’s pray together for His forgiveness. Or else...Atua will curse you for your next six lifetimes.

~Tsumugi Shirogane~

Loved Gifts:

What!? I can have this!? Really!? I mean...no one else here can even appreciate this like I can!

You’d give this...to me...? Thank you! Thank you so much! Those are the only words I can say!

Liked Gifts:

Oh, this...it’s from that one show, right? I knew it! Huh...? You don’t know what I’m talking about? Waaah! I must’ve misunderstood... I thought you know it, Kaede...

Huh, there was something like this here? Are you sure I can have it? Thanks, it was plain to see I was stressed, but this helped me calm down.

Neutral Gifts:

Umm...it seems out tastes just don’t match that well. Oh, I’m not ungrateful. Even between otaku, likes and dislikes can be completely different.

I know that you’re trying to say. This plain item’s good for plain old me. Just kidding... I know you didn’t mean that. It’s just a joke, okay?

Hmm...well, things like this aren’t bad. Do you like stuff like this, Kaede? Why did you choose it? I’m curious about other people’s tastes.

Disliked Gifts:

Sorry, but...I don’t have any good references for a weird thing like this. I’m just a plain, boring girl. You know that, right Kaede?

Umm...I don’t really get it. Why are you giving this to me? Fine then. This...means war. Is that what you wanted me to say?

Hated Gift(s):

Is this some sort of bad joke? I don’t know what to say... Sorry...I think I don’t feel well. I’m gonna go put some ice on my head, so can you give me some space?

-

Anyway, thanks for reading! I plan on doing more Danganronpa-related stuff in the future, primarily collecting the flavor text for all the free times when you initially talk to the characters.

That’ll take me awhile, though, so in the meantime I might actually get around to talking about things in v3 that I’ve been wanting to talk about but haven’t had much of a place to talk about. Like a post discussing character design in Danganronpa that I mentioned wanting to do somewhere in this chain of semi-organized information.

[wiltedthrone]

♡♛.  𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐘 & 𝐁𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐊𝐒 — 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘

Alright, so, the very first time we meet Audrey is a very uncomfortable scene to watch, for me at least, because she’s painted at this overbearing, shallow, annoying girlfriend. But there is SO MUCH to unpack in this scene that really shows a lot about Audrey’s character and I’m very excited to dig into this. *rubs hands together like a fly* It’s long so it’s going under a cut. It’s not edited bc I never proof read anything ever, so if there’s typos I swear I’m literate ok ok

I. BEFORE THE VKS ARRIVAL

Audrey, like many others, was very not peachy keen on the VKs coming to Auradon. But when Ben spoke to her about how upset his parents were about his proclamation and she saw how upset he was, she put aside her feelings and told him to follow his heart. She wanted to be a good girlfriend despite the fact she had mad anxiety about the VKs especially Mal coming to Auradon.

So Audrey was the third to sign the petition to stop the VKs from coming, which no one really knows if it’s a real petition or not, because they don’t even know if you can petition a royal decree, but it’s still kind of messed up considering Ben’s her boyfriend and he’s going to see that. 

Anyway Audrey also saw how much Ben had on his plate with the new kids coming, so she offered to help him with the welcoming committee. The ideas for the limo bringing them, snacks, the marching band, that was all her (even though she makes Doug put it together lmao).

II. THE VKS ARRIVE — AUDREY’S MASKS

This is my favorite part to dig into so here we go. Audrey is already not thrilled, but as Ben’s girlfriend she’s going to have to put on that mask. There are many instances where that mask slips and her insecurities and true feelings slip out, especially with Mal. When Ben and Mal start talking, you can see Audrey’s eyes dart back and forth to them and there’s a worried look on her face because here they are, very much having A Moment right in front of her salad and she can see that.

She’s very much threatened because hello, this girl is kind of flirting with her boyfriend and her boyfriend seems to be into it. She’s not just going to come right out and be like “Hey, um, are you flirting with my boyfriend?” Because that’s going to make her look insecure, which is what Audrey tries to cover up all the time. So she tries to put on her little polite Auradon princess smile and pretend that everything is okay.

If we’re sprinkling in some of those book influences—at this point Mal and Ben have dreamt of each other, Ben is starting to or has already fallen out of love with Audrey and I’m pretty sure that even though Audrey doesn’t know about the dreams, she can tell that things between her and Ben have changed. So she’s already insecure about her place in the relationship, especially since Ben, her boyfriend, could’ve chose, you know, literally any other villain kid besides the one whose mother tried to kill HER mother but haha coolcoolcool, she’s going to pretend it doesn’t terrify her because she wants to be a good girlfriend. But she’s still very much into Ben and is trying to hold on to something she might have already lost.

So instead of Audrey outright accusing Mal of anything, she jumps into that whole “Hey! Aren’t you Maleficent’s daughter?” speech because it’s going to put her back in the conversation and she’s kind of, in her own way, trying to appeal to Mal before shit goes down (or it could be her sneaky way of reminding Ben and Mal, hey um, this is the girl whose mother almost ruined my family, maybe DON’T flirt with her right in front of me????).

Audrey doesn’t share her feelings. She was raised to keep her mouth shut and not rock the boat. She especially can’t do that now when she’s supposed to be making an impression as Princess Audrey, girlfriend to Prince Ben. But god does her mask slip, especially when talking to Mal. You can see her real emotions start to come out as if she wants to say something but she’s remembering she can’t. Mal’s just starting to get under her skin and—

Ben claps—

—and just like that she’s back in Princess mode. She snaps like some kind of robot.

III. THE VKS ARRIVE — AUDREY BEING OBNOXIOUS & OVERBEARING

First things first, Audrey does the “annoying” things she does because

A) She’s trying to stake her claim, hi, hello Ben is her boyfriend

and

B) Hi, hello, she’s very insecure we established that.

But Audrey has a superiority inferiority complex and she knows how Ben isn’t going to put himself on a pedestal in front of the VKs so when he says, “I’m Ben” and she goes “Prince Benjamin, soon to be King!” she’s giving him the credit he won’t give himself because she’s proud of him???? And then when he introduces her as just Audrey, she’s quick to be like “Princess Audrey” and “his girlfriend” to stake that claim that hello, she is royalty and is a bad bitch, put some respect on her name and also Ben is her boyfriend, (which he wasn’t even going to mention) so, again, back off—which, doesn’t even work because immediately after that Evie is still all googly eyes over him so Audrey literally has to pull Ben back —

—as a reminder that hi, you’re still not a princess (which, from the POV of someone rooting for the VKs, it seems like a bitchy move for Audrey to point that out but she’s literally just stating facts) and Ben is still Audrey’s boyfriend. 

Then he and Mal basically eye fuck each other during their introductions and banter so like, THAT’S GREAT.

Then, when Audrey puts Ben’s arm around her (another PDA moment designed to show just how “in love” they are) he immediately shrugs her off like he’s uncomfortable to be around her, in front of these new kids, which is....ouch. How is she supposed to fend off these other girls from her boyfriend when he’s...not even acting like her boyfriend? And acting like he doesn’t like her? Or doesn’t acknowledge her as his girlfriend? And has those Moments with Mal?

But she saves face.

At this point, when Ben is about to offer himself yet again to be around for the VKs, there’s no way in hell Audrey is going to be okay with that after everything that’s just happened.

1) She already feels like Ben doesn’t like her and the things he does only make her feel more like that

2) Evie’s clearly into him

3) Him and Mal have this weird ass dynamic going on (flirting, they’re flirting)

Audrey’s about to crack. You can see it in the tight lipped smile. The shifting of her weight. The look in her eyes. So instead of cracking, she shifts back into Helpful Princess Mode.

So basically, from the very first day the VKs stepped on campus, Audrey was struggling to be seen and not fade into the background. She was fighting to keep Ben. She doesn’t even say anything rude, anything bitchy, anything unwarranted. She doesn’t put them down from being from Isle. She doesn’t say shit about Carlos having chocolate all over his face. Doesn’t make fun of their clothes. If you take her comment to Mal as a genuine thing, she was trying. She’s not some bitchy mean girl, she’s an insecure girl afraid of loses everything dearest to her. Afraid of making a mistake that costs her everything.

And she loses it all anyway. All her worst fears come true. She loses Ben, loses her friends, everyone pushes her to the background and forgets about her, Maleficent shows up and tries to take over Auradon. It doesn’t matter how hard she tries because she doesn’t win anyway.

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2004

15 to 16 years old. A chaotic year for sure, but with a high quality soundtrack. So here’s a top ten list in which, as usual for that decade, several painful cuts had to be made.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

To provide the usual personal context, that year, being that-weirdo-in-the-back-of-the-class suddenly became great when OTHER people were also considered weirdos-in-the-back-of-the-class, and together, with a guy who kept falling asleep in class because he had insomnia, another guy who had elocution problems, and a girl who arrived directly from Cameroun in the middle of winter and was kinda depressed, we formed some sort of losers club and suddenly things weren’t so bad anymore. Unfortunately I completely lost contact with these people after highschool and that’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.

And then in September I once again ended in a completely different class in Terminale (equivalent of Senior Year in the US unless I’m mistaken) and made another great friend. So while life at home was still pretty bad, at least it was much better at school.

At this point my parents also stopped checking what kind of singles I was buying, which means that instead of this madness from 2003 where I had to hide some purchases with other ones...

...I only bought this in 2004 and the rest were actual albums.

Also, I found some old tapes and oh my goodness look at the label on this one. Late 2002/early 2003 at its finest right there. Kyo written with a typo, next to Eminem, next to Mylène Farmer. Love it.

With all of that out of the way, here’s a list of honorable mentions first. A very, very long list.

Yeah (Usher feat Lil Jon & Ludacris) - Thank goodness I thought this song was pretty cool, otherwise I’d have been miserable while listening to the radio in 2004.

Milkshake (Kelis) - Ooooooh daaaaangerously close to the So Bad It’s Good category.

Let’s Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas) - Don’t have anything to say, it’s a lot of fun.

Dragosta Din Tei (O-Zone) - This took like four more years to chart in the US but we heard it all summer here. And it wasn’t unpleasant at all to be honest?

Heaven (remix) (DJ Sammy) - Hang on, wasn’t this on the 2002 honorable mentions? Yeah but it took two years to chart here so it was elligible for 2004 as well.

Turn Me On (Kevin Lyttle) - A quality earworm that somehow isn’t annoying? Sign me up.

Call On Me (Eric Prydz) - Hey, look, another repetitive dance track in my collection of repetitive dance tracks!

What You Waiting For? (Gwen Stefani) - I think this is the only Gwen Stefani song that never made me turn the radio off after a minute. Pretty good.

It’s My Life (No Doubt) - Love the original. This version, not so much.

Parce Qu’on Vient de Loin (Corneille) - Favorite artist of my best friend that year. That song was so moving and well-written. Never got tired of it but never actively listened to it either. If I had better taste it would probably make the list.

The Reason (Hoobastank) - I thought this was ok and pretty nice if a bit bland, and didn’t deserve the success nor the hatred it got. However, thanks to the rock journal I was buying at the time which was like “hey, please listen to the album itself, it’s great!”, I followed that advice, listened to the album at the cd store and bought it instantly. If you dislike this song, please listen to the rest of the album, I swear you’ll enjoy it. Here’s the first track, Same Direction, to get a general idea!

Don’t Tell Me (Avril Lavigne) - Her second album was very good, wasn’t it? What happened to her in recent years?

Je Saigne Encore (Kyo) - This was the last cut (HA, get it? cut?? ok sorry that was terrible) from the list. While I loved it back in the day and while I’m willing to ignore how cringy some stuff I loved as a teenager can be now, I'm not willing to ignore how this is basically a song about a white boy being dumped for the first time and hurting himself because he can’t deal with the mere concept of jealousy. And I’m like “holy shit calm down dude and please drop that knife”.

And now, the actual list.

10 - Hey Ya! (Outkast)

US: #8 / FR: #41

Who’s surprised. Come on. Everyone loved it. I even bought the single! And to think I almost considered leaving it out of the top 10 to put friggin Kyo on it, of all things. The indignity. But yeah, I genuinely loved this. The only thing I can say against it is that it’s a bit too exhausting to be listened to on a loop.

9 - 100 Years (Five For Fighting)

US: #77 / FR: Not on the list

I only heard this a couple of times that year and never paid much attention.

Then I heard it again in 2018 right in the middle of a very, very bad year, after losing my grandfather, and it absolutely destroyed me.

It’s very, very good.

8 - Face à la Mer (Passy & Calogero)

US: Not on the list / FR: #11

Very overplayed that year. A delight every single time it was on the radio, though. Don’t have anything else to say about it.

7 - Modern Times (J-Five)

US: Not on the list / FR: #26

A hiphop song sampling a scene from Modern Times with Charlie Chaplin. It peaked at number 1 here! Not kidding! I bought the single after hearing it exactly once. It’s fantastic and I’m really sad time buried it like it did. If you’ve forgotten about it or simply never heard it before, please give it a listen, it needs more love.

6 - Hit My Heart (Benassi Bros)

US: Not on the list / FR: #74

Remember last time when I said I was a major sucker for Benassi Bros? Well this isn’t an exception. That is a killer drop right there. It looks great and dark and glittery all at once and, by the way, the sunny and summer-y music video completely contradicted how the song looked like in my ears, haha.

5 - My Happy Ending (Avril Lavigne)

US: #54 / FR: Not on the list

I’m not entirely sure what went wrong and when in Avril Lavigne’s career the shift happened, but a couple of years after that song her music got a lot less interesting. I may have enjoyed her first album Let Go a lot, but this song might just be her best one ever.

The sudden shift from “YOU WERE everything” to “HE WAS everything” near the end, in particular, is great writing. Love that.

4 - Left Outside Alone (Anastacia)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

Usually, voices, good or bad, have zero impact on me except when they border on unlistenable, or when they are physically painful to hear/look at. The guy from Muse for example has a voice that looks like the equivalent of a flashlight in the dark and it hurts, and I’m like dude. Can you please tune that down a little bit. Please.

This lady’s voice right there is fascinating though. Her voice is green and dark and it’s such a strange, rare voice I’m charmed whenever I hear it, and in this song in particular. This was on SO MANY of my tapes it’s not even funny. And the chorus is fantastic and a joy to sing along with even if you don’t have a good voice yourself.

3 - Orchestra (The Servant)

US: Not on the list / FR: #97

So we were on vacation, and they were giving away free cds at one stop. And I put the one I got in my portable cd player, and wasn’t that excited by the first tracks.

And then the fifth one started. And I was instantly captivated.

You already know I absolutely adored Placebo at the time (sadly, Protect Me isn’t elligible here either), and that guy from The Servant had a similar voice and the song was roughly in the same ballpark, and the lyrics were so, so weird.

There's an orchestra in me, Playing endlessly I even hear it now They play in the devil's key, An endless symphony I even hear it now And I listen to the music, Beautiful music Yes I listen to the music, Beautiful music

And, again, I’m terrible at describing sounds but the colors are so disquieting and there’s an unpleasant vibe except the song itself isn’t unpleasant? It’s so damn weird. And that band never struck gold again after that.

I still don’t know what happened or how all of this works. It’s a mystery. A very beautiful and curious mystery. This would have had a good shot at winning the #1 spot if it hadn’t been for [shakes fist] these other guys.

2 - Breaking the Habit (Linkin Park)

US: #79 / FR: #89

Only #2? Does... does that mean Linkin Park isn’t going to top my lists three years in a row? Holy shit, dodged a bullet there.

Should I really repeat my whole speech about Meteora. Should I really. Come on. It starts with the sound of a closing door, then broken glass, and then guitars explode in your face. The first line of the album is “sometimes I need to remember just to breathe”! Somewhere I Belong is one of my favorite songs from the band! I was trying to match the flow of Faint even if my English was still extremely shaky and my accent terrible!

And then there’s Breaking the Habit, which sounds almost pleasant compared to the levels of aggression displayed by the other songs. But it’s weirdly tense and stressful for that exact reason, because this relative calm sounds like a menace.

It works even better out of the context of the album, where it sounded a tad more aggressive than the average pop song, but still tense and stressful. And the music video is fantastic. I had it on a giant poster. I know I’ve kept it folded somewhere. If I only knew where it was, I’d show it to you. Covering up the (bright pink) walls in my room back then was a lot of work.

Edit: Nevermind. Found it:

Gotta say one thing though. At least they aren’t #1 for the third year in a row. What’s left of my dignity has been saved.

1 - Enjoy the Silence 2004 (Depeche Mode, Mike Shinoda remix)

US: Not on the list / FR: #89

Waiiiit a second. This was remixed by Mike Shinoda, wasn’t it. Mike Shinoda. From Linkin Park.

I guess Linkin Park IS topping my lists three years in a row in the end sdfghjhgfdfghjkjhg end me

But yeah. So. Enjoy the Silence tops a second list of mine, then. 14 years after the first one. I’m not gonna repeat what I’ve already said about that song. It simply got a brand new coat of paint, but still, even if it’s basically street art painted over a framed painting, what a masterpiece. Was genuinely gawking the first time I heard it on the radio.

And then Depeche Mode released one of their best albums ever the very next year, and it was the album of the year for me, and I became a big fan. So yeah, thanks for introducing me to their music, Mike Shinoda.

Bonus: I noticed my trusty old radio/cd player was in the background of a pic my brother took around that time! I miss that radio. It was pearl-colored and I had added stickers of birds and insects on it. So everytime I say “on the radio” in these posts, just picture this round little thing which was at the center of my universe back then.

Next up: Not the best song of the decade but pretty close

[areluctantsblog]

For the author asks: 13, 20, 23 & 24 (sorry if it's too many😅❤)

Thank you so much for asking! I had fun thinking about these things.

13. Weirdest fic you’ve ever read? Hm. I started a stony one in which Tony Stark is a squirrel and Steve Rogers is a dog, but I haven’t finished it, so I’ll have to pick another one. The ones that come to mind are a few of the first fics I’ve read. There were a few crack-treated-seriously works among them. One stands out especially, a Marauder’s Era HP fic that was in dramatic form. It had an amazing back and forth between Snape and Lily with hilarious muggle jokes and dripped with sarcasm.

20. What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to writing fic? Um… writing it? Haha, no. It’s actually the brainstorming. The ideas come and I explore and expand them to a point, but then I start to feel like I’m not able to see it all alone and I really really need to talk it through with someone. Sometimes I’m lucky and have a chance to discuss it, sometimes I wait and hope that a couple of days will help me move on with it. Writing it down can help, too. Also, when I take a longer break while writing a fic (I mean months), it can be hard to get back in the mood and pick up where I left it. It’s not undoable, though. In fact, it can be a lot of fun, returning to a certain fic’s atmosphere.

23. How long does it take you to complete a fic? It really depends. The longer I write, the longer my fics get, it would seem, so there’s that. Plus, sometimes I get stuck with something and I intend to go back but I start new things and it takes a long time to continue the unfinished ones. My goal is to finish everything, so I don’t start writing unless I’m really serious about a story. I have two lists, WIPs and ideas. Of course, I would love all the ideas to eventually turn into wips, then completed works, but I know it’s unlikely, so I try to pick wisely. How long though? Idk, when I had a deadline, I could produce 3-4k in a day + editing. Sometimes, 500 words counts as great progress. English isn’t my first language though, so writing in English definitely slows me down. Paraphrasing Gandalf, I’ll say that finishing a fic takes exactly as long as it needs to.

24. What’s your process? Omg, do I  have to pretend that I have one? Sometimes, a fic comes pouring out of me. All I do then is don’t stand in its way and type fast. Other times, it’s a scene that comes to me, one scene that I see very clearly and I start unwrapping it, explore its implications, start asking questions about how the characters got there. Sometimes, it’s something about a character that I want to explore more in depth. Or a scene from canon that bugs me for some reason. Okay, so ideas come. I try to not trust my memory and write it down as soon as possible. I tried using a recorder but I didn’t get the feel of it. Sometimes, I start writing it as a headcanon or just notes but right around the first dialogue it turns into fully formed sentences and I write the whole thing, then I have to go back and write the beginning as well. Sometimes I write some part of it and go back to it later. If I get stuck, sometimes I jump ahead and write the next scene that comes more easily, then bridge the two parts. If I’m stuck for a long time, the hardest part is to get back in the right mindset and mood (but I don’t give up on fics, I finish them). I reread a lot. Longer pauses are especially useful in this regard because I see the story in a different light. Then, when I get really impatient, I reread one last time and hit post. I reread even after that and ALWAYS find one or two typos and a few things that I could have said better, but I really like the feeling that it’s out there. Oh my god, it does seem like I have a process :D