#there was one in here that was :/ so i got rid of it

[fleuryuns]

presenting a fic by @FLEURYUNS

um... who is this?

IN WHICH after being dared to prank call one of the hottest sophomores on campus pretending to be a woman he met at a party, you're unexpectedly roped into the life of lee heeseung as you're forced to keep up the role.

PAIRING     ⟡     player!heeseung x fem!reader

UNIVERSE     ⨯     college/uni au

WARNINGS     ⟡     fake dating au, but was it ever really fake?, prank calls, hot boy!heeseung except he’s actually a loser, one (1) suggestive scene, cursing, smidge of angst, jay’s highkey an asshole, depictions of smoking, depictions of drinking and doing drugs

WORD COUNT     ⨯     16.7k

AUTHOR'S NOTE     . . .     inspired by the one and only, francesca stugot

Contrary to popular belief, Truth or Dare doesn't stop being fun after middle school. If anything, with higher stakes and getting rid of the PG-13 limitations, the game only becomes more intense as you get older.

Or so that was how you explained it to your friends in hopes to convince them to play a few rounds instead of studying for your midterms. But hey, it worked.

You laugh and clap your hands as you watch Yunjin complete her dare. She's surprisingly good at juggling, if you ignore the two failed attempts splattered on the floor. Why did Ryujin have to suggest using eggs of all things is beyond you.

"Okay, okay!" Yunjin catches the last few eggs. "I'm done, my hands are covered in yolk. Ew!"

The other girls echo her cries as she runs off to the bathroom to clean it off.

"It's Y/N's turn!" Ryujin calls out. You playfully glare at her from your side, pretending as if you haven't been impatiently waiting for your turn since the last round.

You hear Yunjin agree from afar. She asks you the impending question: "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"Ooh, I've got a good one~" Her sing-songy tone is never a good sign, but you're too giddy to care, even with the girls ooh-ing and ahh-ing at their own recognition of it.

When she finally comes back, her hands free from eggshells and yolk, all eyes are on her. She looks from side to side for dramatic effect. Yunjin leans in. So does everyone else. She opens her mouth as if she'll start to speak, but nothing comes out before she closes it again with a teasing smile. Everyone groans.

"Out with it!" You say, throwing your arms up for emphasis.

She laughs. "I dare you to prank call Lee Heeseung acting as if you're some girl he met at the party last Friday."

Your face drops.

The girls cheer.

"Oh my god!" You hear Yizhuo yell. "You're a genius!"

"I didn't even go, though," you protest.

Yunjin shrugs. "Makes it even better." Just as you're about to rebut, she raises a finger and interrupts. "Ah! And don't say you don't have his number 'cause I know you used to send him the notes when he missed class last semester." She holds up your phone tauntingly, and you can't help but wonder when she took it away from the speaker, where it was paired to your playlist.

Curse her and her impeccable memory.

"Urgh, fine!" You give in, extending your hand for your phone.

As you type away your passcode and scroll to find the phone app, you reluctantly punch in his name (simply saved as "Lee Heeseung (SNU)" — nothing crazy!) The girls giggle to themselves about the heartthrob since high school.

Everyone and their mother knows about Heeseung. Almost everyone and their mother has been with Heeseung. Yourself excluded, obviously. And, unfortunately for them, excluding most of the girls here, too.

Yizhuo had the grace to spend a night with him and “came back a woman”. (Her words.)

Now, she's scooting closer to you, leaning her ear near the phone you're bringing to your ear.

It rings. Ring!

Once. Ring!

Twice.

"What if he doesn't—"

"Hello," a groggy tone questions from the other side of the line.

The girls all fail to cover their squeals.

Heeseung makes a confused noise. "Um... Who is this?"

"Uh...." Your eyes widen. You didn't really think this far ahead, hoping deep down that he wouldn't pick up at all. Eyeing Yunjin, screaming "Help Me!" with your expression. "This is... Hana..."

"Hana?"

"Kang. Kang Hana," you clarified. "We met at the, uh, party last Friday. At Jay's."

There's a moment of silence through the phone. Then some shuffling noises from his side. You sit patiently waiting for his reaction.

"Kang Hana," he repeats slowly. You hum to him.

"Yeah, we had a good time together, didn't we?"

He pauses. "I guess? Can you remind me?"

You begin to tell a tale about your encounter, barely keeping track of the details, letting your imagination run wild, stopping to listen to Heeseung hum in hesitant confusion.

Kang Hana arrived last out of all guests, immediately running to the kitchen for her first drink of the night. Then, she found herself swaying to the music on the living room dance floor, where she met Lee Heeseung. He had his arms placed respectfully on her hips, letting her guide his moves. He whispered that they should get out of there. She agreed.

They spent an hour or two engaging in conversation about anything and everything on the front patio, ignoring the smokers around the corner.

Hana not only arrived late, but also had to leave early. And so, she left Heeseung stranded, left to drink his grief away in hopes of forgetting all about her.

Yizhuo leans a little too far, enjoying the story too much, her head knocking over your hand, making you both tip to the side. You let out a squeal into the phone.

"Woah!" Heeseung yelps, pulling his phone away from his ear. Or you suppose, hearing his voice fade a little in the distance. With the phone away from him, it's able to pick up on the surrounding sounds better, and you realize he isn't alone either.

"Who is it?" You hear from the phone. The voice sounds familiar and you can almost make it out. Must either be Sunghoon or Jay, his best friends, you assume.

Heeseung doesn't miss a beat before responding, "Y/N."

Your heart does a flip. Yunjin's eyes widen. Ryujin chokes on the juice box she'd been sipping on. Yizhuo is still lying on the floor, only her mouth is significantly more agape.

"You knew it was me?"

He chuckled. "Obviously," he says matter of factly. Heat rises to your cheeks. "Took me a second, I'm a little tipsy, haha."

"Oh." Your eyes dart to the girls again. "Am I interrupting?"

"You're never a bother, babe."

Babe? "Huh," you let out unintentionally.

The girls furrow their brows one by one. Although they probably can't hear every word, they can clearly hear the weird turn this conversation has taken.

"Are you with the girls?"

You shake your head in confusion. "Um, yeah, I am." You're still trying to figure out what he meant by the pet name.

"I don't want to keep you if you're having fun." The smile on his face is clear as day in his flirty tone. "Text me later though, okay?"

"Okay?" Slowly, you pull the phone down and end the call. The second it hits your lap, it buzzes again.

Ping! New message!

이희승 (SNU) Kang Hana? 23:04

"What was that about?" Ryujin asks.

You don't respond yet. Focusing on the typing bubbles at the bottom of yours and Heeseung's no-longer-blank messenger.

이희승 (SNU) ik you weren't at Jay's last week 23:04

ME and i know you don't call random people 'babe' ?? 23:05 

이희승 (SNU) can i call you later? 23:05

ME i wasn't lying when i said i'm with my friends 23:05

ME tomorrow? 23:06

이희승 (SNU) let's meet up at the café on campus 23:07

"Hello, hello, Earth to Y/N?" Your head snaps up as you click off your phone. Yunjin waves her hand dramatically across your face to catch your attention. Ironically, it works. "You're still in there? Or did Hana take over?”

You blink up at her, then offer a small smile. “Sorry, that was weird,” you laugh. They all look at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to explain or give more details, but you’re not sure what to give them. “Alright, who’s next?”

You manage to drift the topic away from Heeseung and Kang Hana’s encounter. Yizhuo nearly fails her own dare, but succeeds in getting the neighbours number. After Ryujin answers her Truth (”If you had to kiss any of the girls in this room, who would it be?” “Well, I already have, but I’d say Y/N.”), you all decide to call it a night.

Ryujin and Yizhuo head out together; their rooms in the same dorm-building across the road. Meanwhile Yunjin begs to stay the night, opting to sleep on the floor because she can’t be bothered to pay for a cab ride to her apartment off campus.

Your thoughts keep coming back to Heeseung calling you babe, for some reason. Rubbing at your cheeks to snap yourself out of it, you sigh when you realize that it doesn’t do anything to help the blush that spreads further up your cheekbones to the tips of your ears the more you think about him.

Monday mornings have a bad reputation, and you completely understand why.

The sunlight creeps through a slip in your curtains and shines right in your eyes as you startle awake from a dream starring your party-animal alias and the campus heartthrob. Checking the time, you groan as the bright numbers ‘06:27’ glare back at you.

Your promise to a rendez-vous last night pushes you up and out of bed. You carefully side-step to not wake Yunjin, who’s still sprawled out on the floor.

You grab yourself some cereal and a cold glass of orange juice to fuel yourself before hopping into the shower. When you get out, it’s 6:44, a minute before your alarm rings loudly. You’re convinced everyone on this floor can hear it, but luckily you haven't gotten any complaints thus far.

Yunjin stirs finally. “Dude…”

“Wakey wakey, Sunshine,” you tell her, standing above her with a cheesy smile. “I have cereal and oatmeal.”

She rubs at her eyes, still laced with tiredness. “I’ll just grab something at the café after classes. I should get going, anyway.”

It doesn't take long for Yunjin to get dressed and leave the room promptly. She’s spent so many nights at your dorm that you took the time to clear up some space in the drawer for her stuff so she doesn’t need to rush out before even the sun’s awake.

When you’re left alone in your room, you pull out your phone again, the screen already opening into the chat room you visited last night.

ME what time do your classes end? just wanna know when i should get to the café 06:59

You wait. And wait. And wait some more for his response. You notice he hasn't even been online since you sent your message and decide to give him some more time.

Although he definitely has classes today, you assume, he might not be as much of an early riser like yourself.

In the meantime, you busy yourself with getting ready for your own classes. You pack your bag with all its supplies, checking your phone every so often, hoping to see it light up with a notification.

Ping!

All you can think is, “Finally,” but unfortunately when you pick it up, the notification reads: @jenaissante has made a new post!

“What am I doing?” you ask yourself out loud.

Since when do you sit and stare at your phone in hopes that some guy is going to answer you? How embarrassing.

You shake it off, grab your bag, and head out to your first class.

Walking down the comfortably silent hallways of your dorm building makes you think that out of everyone, you might be the only one awake. However, you stand corrected as you’re greeted with a door almost slamming you in the face.

Coincidentally, as the owner of said door says, “I’m so sorry!” and you respond, “It’s okay! I’m okay!” your phone buzzes in your pocket.

Nearly making your bag topple out of your hands as you reach for it, your shoulders relax when you see who the message is from:

이희승 (SNU) i hate mondays 07:33

You bid your goodbyes to the door-slammer.

ME good morning to you too 07:33 

이희승 (SNU) 😑😑 07:34

이희승 (SNU) i don’t have classes today. when do yours end? 07:34

ME no classes and yet you're awake so early? i'm impressed lee heeseung 07:36

ME i have my 8AM that ends at 10, then a three hour gap until my next class 07:36

이희승 (SNU) oof three hours 07:36

ME i’m on campus so it's not too bad tbh 07:37

이희승 (SNU) 10 o’clock it is? 07:39

ME sounds good 07:40

You shut off your phone and look up to realize you've made it to the building.

You find it weird how easily you’re already getting distracted by Heeseung, even though you’ve barely interacted, much less talked in person since last semester when you shared a class.

Even then, neither of you ran in the same groups, so your conversations were very limited to assignments and bad-talking the professor.

Of course, you’ve heard a lot about him, but none of it ever involved you. At most Yizhuo was being very descriptive about her night with him, though even then—especially then—you didn't pay it or him much attention.

Deciding to push him out of your mind entirely, you pull out your laptop and set up your notes, waiting for the professor to arrive and start class.

After two long hours, you’re dismissed from class. You tell your professor goodbye and head for the door, but come to a stop when you see a familiar figure leaning against the glass on the other side. Taking quicker steps to come around, you meet face to face with Lee Heeseung.

“Hi,” he says calmly.

“What are you doing here?”

His smile falters. “I came to pick you up.”

Your eyes dart to both sides of the hallway, as if waiting for Yunjin or someone to pop out. “How did you know this is where my class is?”

For the first time in your life, you watch Heeseung lose his cool composure. He stumbles over his words before clarifying, “I asked around.”

You try not to think too hard on it, eyeing him suspiciously before humming. His shoulders relax and he claps his hands together before pivoting toward the stairwell.

“Shall we?” He turns to you, extending his arms as if he’s some royal guard leading the crown princess into a carriage.

“Yes, we shall.” You play along because what the heck. And his smile is worth it.

The two of you make your way down to the café just across campus, not really talking on your way there, but staying close. It’s not as if some sort of secret operation is going down, so neither of you make a move to act like you don't know each other.

Come to think of it, you really don't know what's the purpose of all the theatrics. He even opens the door for you when you get there. Has he always been a gentleman?

From what you’ve heard, Heeseung is a player through and through. Typical, textbook heartthrob who makes people fall for him, toys around with that idea, and then leaves them to pick themselves up. Or, he’ll spend one magical night with a random hookup he meets at one of the million parties his rich friends throw every weekend, only to leave them in the dirt in the morning.

(Literally. Stories went around about this one girl he hooked up with outside. She woke up in Sunghoon’s backyard with only her bra and panties on. Or so you’ve heard.)

He leads you to the counter where the barista takes your order quickly. Just as you're about to reach into your bag for your wallet, Heeseung waves his hand in front of you. “Don’t worry about it,” he says before taking out his card and paying before you can reply.

“Thanks.” You try to come up with something better, but run short. “I’ll pay next time,” you say before you can stop yourself.

“Next time,” he says with an unreadable tone.

You want to reply, but nothing comes out. Instead, your eyes drift back to the barista. You watch him prepare your drinks and you silently pray that he goes faster so you can move on.

Luckily, he listens. “Alright, one iced caffe latte with vanilla syrup, and one dark chocolate mocha for the couple.” The man makes a dramatic turn with the drinks, adding a theatrical wave of his hand to you two.

“Oh, we’re not—”

“Thank you,” Heeseung replies with a smile. He takes a hold of both drinks and motions for you to lead him to a table.

And so you do.

“So,” he says as he sits down. “Kang Hana—” A wink. Your drink is suddenly very interesting. “—I have a proposal for you.”

“Proposal,” you question, raising your cup along with your brow. You take a sip and set it back down. “Go on.”

He takes his own sip. For a moment, you watch him appreciate the taste. He closes his eyes for a fraction of a second in satisfaction, traces of the drink left on his lips. It takes everything in you not to reach over and wipe it yourself. So, you hand him a napkin.

He thanks you before proceeding. “Okay, fine, it's more of an ask rather than a proposal because you won’t technically—” He adds air quotes. “—be gaining anything out of this.”

Now you’re very curious. You let him speak.

“There’s this girl…” he starts. His eyes drift away to the other tables, almost trying to deduce if anyone would want to eavesdrop and spread gossip of what he says next. “I really like her.”

Oh god. You’ve heard this before. Usually it only happens by boy best friends, but basically complete strangers work too, you guess. You prepare yourself.

“And, I just don’t know how to tell her—”

“Listen, Heeseung,” you cut him off. “We barely know each other. I don’t think you’re really thinking this through. How can you even trust your feelings when you barely know me?”

He blinks at you. “What?”

Your heart drops. “You’re not confessing to me.”

Heeseung lets out a short breathy laugh. He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck and answers. “No… Not exactly.”

“Oh my god, this is so embarrassing.” You let your head drop into the palms of your hands, but when you feel his hand on your arm, you snap your head up.

He rapidly retracts his hand of reassurance and lets it float above your arm for a second. “No, no, that’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed,” he assures you, only with his hand now in his lap. “I’m actually a little embarrassed about what I’m trying to ask you—If you’re up for it!”

“Can’t be more embarrassing than I feel right now,” you reply between small sips of your drink.

“Can we date? Wait, this isn't a confession, I meant like can we fake date? Like date, but not actually date. Not that that would be an awful thing to do! I just like this girl and…” His eyes are comically large as he rambles the same reformulated question. The embarrassment slips away as you watch his cheeks redden. “If you’re comfortable,” he finishes more quietly.

You take a moment, both to see if he’s really done, but also to consider your options. “Why?”

“Right.” He nods. “So, as I was saying… There’s this girl I like, and I want to get closer to her and ask her out, but we’ve talked before and she hates that I’m—” More air quotes. “—A player.”

You raise your brow at his words. “Put down the air quotes, then we’ll be on the same page.”

He rolls his eyes imperturbably. “You know what I mean…”

“How would fake dating help you start actually dating? Sounds counterproductive ‘cause doesn't that just make you unavailable?”

“I want to prove to her that I’m more than just—” He waves his arms around to search for the word. “—more than just some guy that goes from girl to girl as if nothing.”

You nod. “But… Isn’t this, kinda, lying? Since you haven't actually been in a long term relationship.”

“I mean, yeah, if you think about it like that.” He takes a sip of his drink, and when his lips part from the straw, you notice he bite it as he drank. You shake your head. “I’m just showing her that I’m capable of being in a long term relationship. I’m a serious guy looking for something serious.”

The snort you let out is entirely accidental. He looks faux-offended as he wipes off the drops of your drink that fell out of your cup. “Sorry,” you say, also wiping your arm. “You’re a serious guy. For sure, for sure.”

“I am,” he protests. “I take things very seriously. Like this rendez-vous. I’m normally still in bed at this time.”

This catches your attention. “Wait, why did you get up so early though? We didn't have a set time ready, you could've slept in.”

He shrugs timidly. “I knew you mostly take morning classes, so I wanted to be up when you were…” His sentence goes quieter by the end of it, with no help from him reaching for another sip of his drink, which is practically empty at this point, so the tension in the air only grows thicker with the ear-piercing sounds of him drinking air through a straw.

“Oh,” you say slowly. “I stand corrected.”

He nods.

You bite your lip out of habit. “So, shouldn't we discuss the, like, rules to this… Scheme?”

“Wait, you’re gonna do it?” He seems genuinely surprised. And cutely excited.

“Yeah,” you shrug, trying to act nonchalant. “What’s there to lose, I guess. But—” You raise a hand. “We need to figure out these ground rules and I need to get something out of this.”

He agrees easily. And you settle on asking him to put in a good word to one of his friends, Jay, who happens to be the son of the man who owns one of the most respected law firms in the country—you want in on it.

“So, you’re going to be a lawyer?”

Heat rises to your cheeks bashfully. “Yeah, it’s always been my passion.”

Heeseung’s eyes widen in astonishment. “Does that mean I should be more careful with how we set this up? Should we sign a contract to make it official?”

You laugh. “Do you have a printer? We could write one up if you want.”

He plays along with the joke, which eventually leads to him opening his notes app and writing down the rules you settle on together:

You cannot tell ANYONE that this is a set-up. If [REDACTED] finds out it’s a lie, how is Heeseung supposed to find love 💔

Stick to the same story: We met last semester and have been keeping it lowkey. We got together during the break.

Hang out in public at least twice a week. (Heeseung will make plans to make sure his crush will see them.)

Hand holding is a must while out together.

No kissing. Not on the cheek, and not on the lips.

Y/N has to attend all some do you want to make a good impression or not FINE all of Jay’s parties. 

Fake relationship must last AT LEAST two months. Further discussion of whether or not the (FAKE) relationship continues will take place then.

“Now…”

“What’s wrong?”

You watch Heeseung look from right to left, reaching down into his pockets for something, but he comes up with nothing. “How are you going to sign it?”

As unexpected as it is, you have to laugh. “Here, let me,” you respond between laughs, reaching out for his phone, which he hands you swiftly.

At the bottom of the page, you add:

I, Y/N L/N, accept these terms and conditions.

“Your turn.”

And he does the same with his own name.

I, Lee Heeseung, accept these terms and conditions.

“Perfect, so it’s settled.” He claps unceremoniously. “Here’s to the start of Kang Hana and Lee Heeseung’s fake relationship.”

He raises his cup toward you, and you get the memo to clink! your own against his. It’s silly considering they’re plastic cups that make nothing but a wsh! sound when bumped together, but the sentiment is there.

You spend a few more minutes sitting together in silence as you finish your drink.

You’re not sure why Heeseung hasn't left yet. Your business together is done for now, and he’s long finished with his own drink. You decide, however, that you’re glad he stayed.

As you’re stuck in thought, you don't notice that you're staring. You don't see the sly smile that creeps on his lips. And you certainly don't realize Yunjin is watching this scene go down from behind the window.

The front door’s bell snaps you out of your trance, when you finally feel the eye contact you're making with Heeseung. You pull your eyes away shyly, sipping on your drink until it bottoms out.

Unbeknownst to you, Yunjin makes her over to you and Heeseung with a confused expression painted over her features.

“Y/N,” she says. Your eyes widen at your friend leaning over the table to look at the two of you. “What’s going on here?” She teasingly points between you and Heeseung, wiggling her eyebrows all-knowingly.

Suddenly, you forget all your words.

Luckily, Heeseung smoothly takes the lead, already playing his role. “We’re on a date.”

This takes Yunjin by surprise, if her gasp paired with widened eyes says anything. “A date?”

“Yeah,” he says, drawing out the syllable. He looks at you with telling eyes, as if asking if you want to add on. You slightly shake your head only for him to see. “We were actually just finishing up. Right?”

Your cue. “Right, yeah.” You clear your throat awkwardly.

Yunjin raises her hands defensively. “Well, I don’t want to interrupt any more than I already have… So, you two have fun….” She leans over to whisper into your ear. Heeseung raises a brow from his side, but turns away to pretend he isn’t listening to it. “You’ll have to tell me all about this later.”

She bids you goodbye and makes her way to the counter, making no effort in acting as if she’s not staring at your table, watching your every move, as if to assess the situation.

Your hand comes up to the side of your face to subtly cover your mouth from her prying eyes. “We should really get out of here.”

Heeseung nods. “Slowly, we don’t want her to think anything.”

“Is it really so important to keep it from my best friend, though?”

“Yes!” Heeseung says in a whisper-yell. He smiles over to Yunjin who’s blissfully unaware of his outburst, probably thinking the two of you are joking around. Turning back to you, his voice lowers. “We can’t let anyone know the truth, not right now.”

You wonder what you’re getting yourself into now that it’s in play.

He ends up walking you back to your dorm, making his way into the building and all the way to your floor, walking you to your door, even after you insist he doesn’t have to. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t make sure you got back safely?”

“Fake-boyfriend,” you point out.

He nods. “Fake.”

While opening the door, you have a weird urge to ask if he wants to stay for a little. You brush off the feeling and turn back to him. “See you…” You stray, not really sure when you’ll see each other.

“Tomorrow,” he finishes. “For our first official date. Fake date.”

You nod your head, and that’s it. He walks backward into the hall, waving to you, before he turns to watch where he’s going. You only wave back when his back is turned.

Too caught up in whatever the hell you’ve agreed on, you spend the rest of the day burying yourself in studies. Midterms are around the corner, so may as well get some work done now. You also can’t bear to spend another minute with Heeseung’s stupidly pretty face, and smile, and everything stuck in your head.

Throughout the afternoon, then into the evening, your phone buzzes over and over again. You don’t even bother checking in fear that it’s Heeseung.

When you head off to bed, you quickly scroll away from your notifications and open Yunjin’s chat, where you see she’s been spamming you pretty much until you passed out. You note the time and feel the relief wash over you as you realize she must already be asleep by now. You start typing away.

ME i’ll tell you everything tmrw 01:47

ME meet me at the quad in the morning 01:47

As opposed to Monday mornings, Tuesdays have a different, much more optimistic air. It’s as if everyone’s realized that maybe this week won’t be so bad, so might as well put on a smile before heading to classes.

You don’t have early classes today, so you head down to the quad as promised, a knot forming in your stomach on your way.

There’s nothing you hate more than keeping things from your friends, especially Yunjin. Trust is something you really value in your friendship, as you’re both very open with each other, this feels like breaking it, even though it isn’t necessarily a bad lie to tell.

Taking a deep breath, you convince yourself that it’s for a good cause and she’ll understand once you tell her the truth.

You’re surprised not only by the fact that Yunjin is already sitting at one of the tables, wide awake and ready to hear your tale, but also the fact that she is with company: Yizhuo and Ryujin, respectively.

“Well, well, well,” she says with jokingly menacing crossed arms. She adds to the character a dubious expression. “What do we have here? Lee Heeseung’s girlfriend?”

Yizhuo laughs. “Are you serious? When were you going to tell us?”

From the other side of the table, Ryujin adds on. “Yeah, this seems like a pretty big deal!”

You sit down next to Ryujin, facing Yunjin’s excitedly curious eyes. She leans over the table and grabs your hands. “Tell. Us. Everything,” she enunciates every word for emphasis.

“Um,” you start oh-so confidently. You think back to the contract you “signed” and the storyline you decided with Heeseung. “I’ve been, kinda, seeing Heeseung since October—”

“October!?” Yizhuo yells. “Why’ve you been keeping this from us?!”

“We wanted to keep it lowkey before we decided if we were really serious about this.” The lies slip off your tongue easily, but they leave a bitter aftertaste. “I was talking with him about telling you guys, at least, right when Yunjin walked in on us.”

Ryujin raises a brow. “Walked in on you? Were you…?”

You slap her arm playfully. “Nothing like that, nothing like that! I meant at the café yesterday.”

“We’ve never even seen you two together… How lowkey were you keeping it?”

Yunjin looks at you expectantly. You avoid direct eye contact, afraid she’d be able to see the truth through your eyes. “We text a lot and facetime pretty much every night,” you explain, hoping it’s convincing. “And he’d sometimes come over, but we always made sure none of you would find out.” You make sure to slip in an apology at the end of the statement.

Yizhuo’s the one to wave her arm and deny your apology. “Girl, you got yourself a man, how could we be mad at you?” Her eyes widen in realization. “The prank call, oh my God!”

“Yeah, that took some explaining… But he thought Kang Hana was pretty funny.”

“Speak of the devil,” Yunjin teases, nodding her head behind you.

You turn around and lo and behold is Lee Heeseung himself, followed by Park Sunghoon and Park Jay. If this were a 90s romcom scene, their walk would be in slowmo, the camera would pan to girls and boys fanning themselves as they walk by, some would be fainting in their path. Sunghoon would have to step over someone’s unconscious body, Jay would pick a rose from the bush and hand it to one of his followers and they would blush until their whole face is as red as a tomato.

Instead, they’re walking at a regular pace, but you notice the way seems to run through their hair perfectly. That’s what you get when you’re jaw-droppingly attractive, you think. And then you furrow your brows at your thoughts.

When the boys get closer, Heeseung smiles. “Hi, you.”

“Hi,” you say in return. Your heart beats faster.

“So,” Jay, the one on his left, says. “You’re Y/N.”

You nod. “Nice to meet you—”

“Y’know, it’s funny ‘cause Heeseung never mentioned you?” The question throws you off, more than the smile he has plastered on his face. “Keeping it hidden from us like we’re Dispatch, or something.”

Heeseung places his hand on Jay’s shoulder, taking the lead. He sends you a reassuring look before speaking. “It was my idea, mostly,” he explains. “Let’s not take it out on my girl.”

My girl. You smile shyly.

Addressing your friends, Heeseung smiles politely. “It’s nice to meet you all.”

“You too,” Ryujin says.

“You better be treating her right,” Yunjin says teasingly, but with a touch of seriousness, if you know her right.

Heeseung raises his arms defensively. “She’s the one to decide on that front.”

You laugh. He’s really good at this. “Don’t worry guys, he’s been good to me.”

The two of you share a moment in silence, just watching each other. Heeseung’s the first to break it, not necessarily looking away, but ending your silent conversation. “I take it you dressed for our date, right?”

You blink at him in confusion. “Where are we going?”

“So you really didn't see my text?” He pouts. You’re almost convinced he means it. Wow, I’m going to have to step up my game.

“Sorry, I was really busy studying, I shut off my phone for the day after you left.”

He tuts at you jokingly. “Well, I guess it’ll have to be a surprise.” He extends his arm and offers you his hand. Automatically, you take a hold of it, letting him pull you up in the process. Heeseung turns to your friends and smiles politely. “Again, it was nice to officially meet you all, I’ve heard so much. And—” Facing his friends, he says: “I’ll text you later.”

Then, you’re off, holding hands as he leads you to the parking lot.

The car ride isn’t too long, luckily. You find yourself anticipating what Heeseung has planned, only for you to crush that anticipation when you remember what this is all for.

Her, not you.

Although, you still don’t know who she is.

“Will you ever tell me who this girl is?” you ask as he takes another turn, arriving in a parking lot. Finally in view, you realize you’re at Plus One Games as you watch the big, bold glowing sign. “The arcade?”

“She works here,” he says, promptly ignoring your first question. He pops the keys out of the ignition and turns to you. “Are you ready?”

You hum and the two of you make your way to the comically large front doors. He holds it open, and you thank him as you walk past him, staring in awe at the decor.

Plus One Games is known for its grandeur in the gaming world. You didn’t grow up in these areas, but you’ve heard all about it. It’s expensive and you wonder how Heeseung is able to afford it—He must really like this girl.

The lobby is decorated like a gameboard, the stands where the employees greet the customers resembling game pieces, meanwhile there are signs pointing in every direction to where you may want to go, which look like signs straight out of a Super Mario Bros game.

Unbeknownst to you, you begin to wander while you’re looking at the set-up of the entrance, entranced by the level and precision of the design. Heeseung notices, however, and grabs ahold of your hand, spinning you on your heels and leading you to the cloakroom.

“Can’t let you get lost,” he teases, his head nodding to your hand in his which he raises to eye level.

You flush in your spot, unable to get yourself to pull your hand away.

After depositing your coats and changing into the shoes the staff hand the two of you by the door, you’re quick to let Heeseung guide you through the games and stations. He clearly has a map set up in his mind by the way he easily glides through the place, your hand still tightly in his hold.

He brings the both of you to the bumper cars first, wearing a cheeky grin as he handsomely gestures for you to step into the rink before him. To play along, you bow gratefully like an heiress guided by her guard. He laughs, placing a hand by your lower back to help direct you.

How could someone forget how fun bumper cars are? Because now you’re reminded of the joys of ramming your rubber-ringed play car into the people around you. Luckily, it’s not too crowded, so you have plenty of room to strategically avoid Heeseung’s attempts to knock you over, only to turn around and get him instead.

You’re full of laughter, and so is he. In fact, his face is completely red and you can only assume that yours is a similar shade.

Your laughter doesn’t even die down when the dispiriting buzzer sounds in the mini-arena, prompting the cars to stop in their place and the employee to safely instruct you and the other customers on how to get out.

“So, where to next?” Your smile transcends into your words, but you don’t care enough to be self-conscious about it.

Heeseung pretends to be in deep thought, plastering a dramatic pout of curiosity. “Where to… Where to…” he repeats. He lifts a finger in the air in perfect timing with the music blaring through the speakers above. You laugh at the movement. “Let’s try to win some prizes, hm?”

You assume this is probably some kind of way for him to say that the girl he likes is working the counter. Either way, you agree.

“Ice ball,” he suggests.

“I’ll have you know—” You flick your hair behind your shoulder for character. “—I’m kind of a pro at this.”

He raises his brow. “Oh, are you?”

Instead of responding, you grab the keycard and swipe it across the gamepad, watching as the game’s sign lights up as it starts up. Balls roll out from the dispenser and you grab your first one. You pretend to give it a kiss before rolling it up.

It does not go on.

Heeseung laughs.

You clear your throat and try again. The second does not go in.

Nor does the third. Or the fourth.

“Maybe I should try,” Heeseung proposes playfully.

“Fine,” you grumble, though not seriously. You go on to say he has no shot, the game is rigged and—

His first try goes in.

And his second. Then his third.

The game rings “Winner! Winner!” and tickets begin pouring out of the gamepad.

Heeseung ends up beating you in every game you play, always winning a ridiculous amount of tickets or a silly prize that comes with it. Pinball, mini-basketball, Spin-It-To-Win-It, you name it. He even beats the claw machine which is famously rigged in these kinds of places. You suggested it just to see Heeseung lose, yet here he is flaunting his little stuffed turtle he pulled out of it.

He waves the turtle in your face and you swat it away from you. “Aw, c’mon, Y/N, you don’t want Mr. Turtle?”

“You named him Mr. Turtle,” you deadpan.

He smiles cheekily. “It’s a fitting name.” He then takes your hand by the wrist, flipping it over so your open palm faces upward. Gently, Heeseung places Mr. Turtle into your hand, closing your fingers around it. “Here, you can have him.”

As much as you want to keep up your stingy role of a sore loser and throw it back at him, you shyly thank Heeseung for the gesture and place Mr. Turtle comfortably against your bag, so he can look out into the world without you needing to worry about him falling off because he’s safely attached to the strap.

After a match of laser tag—which you end up winning with Heeseung because you were against another couple—a couple of PEOPLE!—and then racing up to the top of the rock climbing wall, you grab a couple slices of pizza together and call it a day.

The pizza is greasy and frankly a little gross, you’re convinced it’s leftovers from yesterday, but it’s just what you need.

Heeseung comes back to the table with two bottles of pop. “Which one?” He raises both for you to see your options. You point to the red one, probably some off-brand strawberry or raspberry flavoured soda, and he passes it to you.

Chugging down the mystery drink, you find yourself content with the day's events.

When you get to the car, Heeseung holds the door open for you once again. You thank him quietly, getting in at the same time. You force your head down to stop yourself from watching as he makes his way around to his side.

It’s silent for a moment as he turns on the ignition and pulls out of the parking spot. The way he places his hand against the back of your seat, his arm in full view, makes your heart stutter. You take a second to compose yourself.

“So.” You look up at Heeseung with telling eyes and a teasing smile. “Did you see her?”

His mouth opens in a mute ‘ah,’ but he shakes his head, keeping his gaze on the road ahead. “I guess she wasn’t working today.”

And honestly, you can’t even be mad about it because it went so well. You tell yourself this is just a stepping stone in the fake relationship. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

He drives you back to campus and follows you all the way to the building before you tell him he doesn’t need to come up with you. Although he tries to push it, it’s hard to ignore how tired he is from the way he drawls.

As you walk back into your dorm, you’re greeted with your phone buzzing to infinity with messages from the girls’ group chat. You laugh at their bickering as they wait for your updates and you almost opt to stay silent to see how far it goes.

The following days go on similarly. Between hanging out with your friends, attending classes and studying for midterms, you’re going out on dates with Heeseung. Fake dates, but you soon learn he’s a really good actor.

Then you update the girls on the happenings of the date, steadily avoiding the parts hinting at your deal.

Your first date following the arcade is at the library. At first, you don’t see how Heeseung would consider this a date, until he shows up at your dorm with roses and chocolates. “Bring these with you,” he says. “She should be studying there for another hour, or two if she’s really into it.”

You abstain from commenting on the fact that if she’s “really into it,” is he even sure she’ll notice either of you, because you’re in need for a good study session with a friend, and as much as you love your friends, they have a hard time focusing when you’re all together.

It’s nice. Heeseung is as hard of a worker as you remember from the previous semester. Every now and then, you’ll look up and find his eyebrows furrowed at the paper in front of him, so you ask to help him out if you can. He does the same to you, you realize. As you look down at your notes, biting your lip at the same phrase you’ve been staring at for a while now, Heeseung taps the table right in front of your book with his pencil. “Need any help?”

You only remember once he brings you back to your dorm that you never asked about the girl. You’re not even sure if she was there since he didn’t say anything.

Yizhuo is offended that you find your girls-only study sessions unhelpful. Ryujin playfully slaps her shoulder.

For another date, he takes you to the movies.

“And this is helpful… how exactly?”

He shrugs and raises a hand to sheepishly scratch the back of his neck. “I may have told her I wanted to see the movie. And then I may have panicked buying them in front of her, I don’t want to risk her seeing me bring someone else when I said I’d bring you.”

“This could’ve been your chance to invite her to the movies!”

“And make her think I’m a cheater?” He shakes his head twice. “Besides, this is what we’re fake dating for. You and I can still go as fake-boyfriend and fake-girlfriend, if you don’t mind.”

Of course you don’t mind.

The movie is okay. It’s not really your style, nor is it Heeseung’s, if his distasteful grimace as he’s walking out of the cinema says anything.

“You didn’t like it,” you tease with fake concern.

He looks like a deer caught in headlights. “No,” he defends. He even raises his hands to wave them around as he searches the air for an explanation. “It was—You know—When they—Right?”

You laugh and place your hand on his shoulder. “I’m kidding. I didn’t really like it either.”

Heeseung places his own hand on top of yours and you feel your heart stutter. In a panicked moment, you try to rip your hand away, but it gets caught in his shirt, so you have to awkwardly pull it out from underneath.

Yunjin asks you about the movie itself, and you can’t seem to remember much about it besides Heeseung’s face at the end of it.

One of your favourite—fake—dates with Heeseung is when he takes you rollerblading. (You never ask how this is related to the girl he’s trying to impress. What? You’ve always wanted to go rollerblading.)

You both invite your friend groups and get to see them bond, which is both weird and endearing.

Yunjin holding onto Sunghoon and Ryujin’s hands for dear life as they’re the only two that are decent at roller skating and she’s on the verge of face planting whenever she steps on the rink on her own.

On the other hand, Yizhuo and Jay are equally bad. Yizhuo has horrible coordination and Jay… just can’t move. He can’t even take a step forward, just waves his arms around as if he’s swimming and it’ll somehow propel him. So, Yizhuo just keeps magnetically crashing into him, causing them both to fall down and need to recalibrate themselves from the boards.

Heeseung is a champion at it, as anyone would’ve expected. Though, he falls back to follow your pace, which is slow, but not agonizingly so, or so you hope.

You haven’t had the chance to go rollerblading in a while, and you end up tripping up over your own feet. Luckily, Heeseung is still there by your side to hold you so you don’t fall.

“Thanks,” you say to him, harshly gripping onto his arm to make sure you don’t.

At the end of the night, when your friends have already called it in, catching an uber or taking their own cars back, you and Heeseung stay a little while longer.

You’re sitting by the bleachers on the outside of the rink, Heeseung still freely skating on his own. He’s skating much faster, now, you notice. And he’s doing it with a big smile on his face which you can’t help but mirror when you’re watching him.

Later on, you notice he wears the same, but more subtle smile when he’s with you in the car, laughing and chatting while music blares from the speakers and the windows are rolled all the way down.

After a few weeks of date after date, midterms come up.

You and Heeseung made an agreement not to go out during this time. It gives the both of you time to recharge and focus on studying. It’d be useless to go out anyway, since his girl would probably be doing the same, you think but avoid saying.

When you make the modifications to your arrangement, you assume this means less frequent texting or calls, but those stay the same. Heeseung texts you good morning and is the last to say good night before you fall asleep, just as he’s been doing the past few weeks. You come to think that you’ve become really good friends over this time together.

You also assumed this would give you a break from acting like a couple, but Heeseung once again has other plans.

One afternoon when you don’t have classes, someone knocks at your door.

Normally, if someone’s at the door without texting you beforehand, it means it’s just another one of those door-to-door students campaigning for whatever new project they’ve come up with. Or, occasionally, it’s your next-door neighbour who’s going to warn you about being loud while working on their next project, whatever it is they’re doing.

This time, however, you’re met with a bouquet of flowers and an otherwise empty hallway. The bouquet comes with a note, that reads:

Good luck on your midterms! My two-lips will be ready to reward you once they’re over… (Sorry, Sunghoon told me to write a pun.) (Fuck why’d I write it in pen? There aren’t even tulips in this bouquet???) (This is from Heeseung BTW)

You laugh at the extra scribbles and smudged half-written words on the rest of the paper.

And it’s like magic, the way his words encourage you to keep studying, keep working harder. You pass your midterms with flying colours.

Heeseung invites you to the café on campus to celebrate, and said you needed to discuss something. When you arrive, your chocolate mocha is already sitting in front of him, on the opposite side of the booth.

He smiles when he sees you come up. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you say back. “So, what did you want to tell me?”

“Well, first—” He raises his cup. “To passing midterms!”

You clink yours to his, smiling. “To passing midterms!” You both take a sip of your drinks before setting them down and looking at each other intently.

“So,” he says firmly. “I still haven’t given you your end of the deal.”

That’s right. You agreed on this whole shenanigan as long as he gives you an in on the Park family business. If you’re truly willing to become a lawyer, getting Jay to give you a good word to his father would mean a lot of doors opening, some that you’d never open otherwise.

It’s funny that something so big and important to you slipped your mind over these past few weeks.

Then you remember how you’ve discussed this would be happening. “There’s a party?”

Heeseung nods into his drink, getting a bit of foam on his upper lip. You almost lean over the table to wipe it off yourself, but instead you hand him a napkin, avoiding his eyes as you laugh nervously. “Thank you,” he whispers. Once the napkin’s down, he returns to business. “Tomorrow night at Jay’s actually. His dad won’t be there, unfortunately for you and fortunately for, like, everyone else attending.”

You nod. “So, this’ll be our first big event as a, albeit fake, couple?” Nerves begin to feed in your stomach and suddenly you’re not so thirsty. Your hands naturally start fidgeting with your cup.

The last time you went to one of the campus parties was the first week in the new year, last semester. You remember it all too well, meaning not at all. You’ve never been the best at calculating your tolerance, but that time you really went overboard.

For one, it’s embarrassing, but you also don’t want to do anything with Heeseung.

“Yeah,” Heeseung agrees nonchalantly, but he leans lower in concern, looking to meet your eyes. “But it’ll be okay, just like any of our other dates. Fake dates. Just pretend that you’re the infamous Kang Hana.” Then he adds: “But don’t be late this time.”

There he goes, making you laugh so easily.

Over the next few minutes, you agree that Heeseung will pick you up and drive the both of you to Jay’s not too early, but not too late. Jay isn’t big on wanting his friends to help him set-up, so he’s fine with whenever they decide to show up.

And when you do, you’re struck by awe, your mouth hanging agape at the… everything.

You’ve known Jay was rich, but you never considered he’d be this rich.

The black front gates leading up to a long driveway. The pillared entrance archway. The enormous garden wrapping around the household. The fountain. The white walls which are interrupted by full length windows looking into the modernly decorated mansion.

Jay stands by the door holding a blunt. Wispy smoke draws circles in the air as he exhales. “Look who it is,” he says with open arms, tossing the rest of his joint to the ground.

The boys dab each other up and Jay nods his head at you as a greeting. A chill passes through your body. You hug your body tighter underneath your jacket.

Heeseung places his hand comfortingly on your waist, pulling you closer to him so he can whisper in your ear. “If you want to leave, just say the word.” And when you shake your head, he leans in again. “Are you ready, Kang Hana?”

You decide that you are.

The party is nothing remarkable.

As promised, Heeseung makes sure to give you a chance to talk with Jay and perhaps get an ‘in’ on his father’s company. It seems to go well enough, although Jay mostly just agrees with what you’re saying, trying to move on from the topic of his dad and law.

But other than that, it’s just like any of the other parties that you’ve been to with your friends.

Music. People making out in every corner. Loud music. Couples dragging each other upstairs not-so-secretly. Decent food, despite Heeseung telling you about Jay’s personal chefs being top tier. And did you mention agonizingly loud music?

You still manage to have some fun with your fake-date, though.

The one thing that really stands out is the fact that most girls are keeping their respectful distance from Heeseung.

Usually, he would be surrounded by a dozen, at least. A couple hanging off his arms, some standing behind him, others even kneeling in front of him. They create an entourage around him like he’s some king they worship, and yet today you don’t even see a speck of that lifestyle.

It dawns on you that word really did get around about you and Heeseung.

You even lean in to tell him this much. “Your girl definitely knows,” you tell him. “Is she here?”

Heeseung looks around almost half-interestedly in the others, turning back to you with a smile. “No, I don’t think so,” he says, but he doesn’t sound too bummed out. Maybe it’s the drinks. “Do you want another drink?”

Only later on do you realize you really haven’t learned your lesson on your tolerance.

After your probably fifty-something-eth song on the dance floor, Heeseung calls it quits, having drank just as much, but clearly being able to hold himself together better.

He bids goodbye to his friends, letting you wave at them in your drunken state and gets you in the car to drive you back.

You stumble into Heeseung’s arms as you make your way out of the elevator on your floor. “Oops,” you laugh.

He makes a nervous sound before adjusting his arms to hold you properly with his hand holding onto your waist. “We’re almost there, Y/N,” he whispers, gently tugging you forward on your wobbling legs.

However, he freezes in his tracks when he’s met with your friends waiting by your door.

“Oh,” Yunjin says. “We thought—”

“God, we thought she died or something, she wasn’t answering our texts,” Yizhuo interrupts. “Are you guys gonna…”

“No, no,” Heeseung answers quickly, waving his free hand. “I was just making sure she made it safely back to her dorm.”

You cheer out of the blue, just glad to be there.

Heeseung reaches into your jacket pocket for your keys, the jingling sound making you laugh some more. He tosses the keys to Ryujin. “Here,” he says. “I’ll just bring her to bed—Uh! Not like that, I meant, like, make sure she sleeps.”

Yunjin shakes her head reassuringly. “Here, let me take her. We’ll take care of her, if you don’t mind.”

He doesn’t respond for a second, turning to look at you. The drunk-flush on your cheeks makes your eyes pop, he notices. Unknowingly, a soft smile creeps up on his lips. “Sure, sure,” he eventually says.

When he’s out of sight down the hall, the girls tug you into the room. They bring you to bed, helping you kick off your shoes and take off your jacket, but not bothering changing your clothes—who knows what kind of a struggle that would be.

The process proceeds in a comfortable silence, but not for you. You’re itching to speak, say anything. Something about the drinks in your system makes you feel chatty, so you say the first thing on your mind. “Heeseung’s so pretty.”

“I hope you think so,” Ryujin jokes. “He’s your boyfriend.”

You laugh, turning over to face away from the girls. “No he’s not.”

“Yes, he is,” Yunjin reassures, trying her best to get the blanket over your body to properly tuck you in, but you keep rolling away from her touch.

Watching you shake your head back and forth, Yizhuo curiously pushes. “What do you mean he’s not your boyfriend?”

“It’s just, like, a scheme,” you whisper the last word mischievously, wearing a cunning smile and waving your hands mysteriously. Laughing to yourself, it takes you a moment to notice your friends’ confused expressions when you look over at them again. “What?” You look up at them with a dazed smile.

“So… You and Heeseung,” Yunjin starts with furrowed brows, trying to assess the situation. “You’re not even dating?”

“Nope!” you say with a laugh, enunciating the ‘p’ with a pop of your lips.

From behind you, Yizhuo lets out a sigh of relief.

This time, Yunjin frowns at her. “What’s that about?”

“Sorry, sorry,” she says hurriedly. “It’s just that if Y/N and Heeseung were actually dating, the whole reveal would’ve been really awkward.”

“What reveal,” you ask.

She pulls her lips in, suppressing a laugh, before waving her hands and starting to confess. “So, remember how I said I slept with Heeseung at a party last semester?” Memories of her flaunting her newfound womanhood and maturity swarm your mind. You nod, yeah, I remember. “Well—” She tilts her head  guiltily. “I lied.”

You blink slowly at her. Once, and twice, before shaking your head out of pure confusion. “Wait, what? Why would you lie about that?”

Yizhuo looks over at Ryujin and Yunjin as if they’ll help her. From the less than expressive faces, you can tell they already knew. She scratches the base of her neck awkwardly. “I don’t know, I guess for status, or whatever.”

This sobers you up instantly. “Status? Like sleeping with Heeseung’s some kind of badge you get to wear around?”

She laughs nervously. “Well, no. But like, I don’t know, Y/N, I was just fucking around. I told you guys that when I was, like, really high.”

“Doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re treating him like some kind of object?” You’re always one to try to see the best in a person, in a situation, but you really can’t find it in yourself to defend Yizhuo right now. “He’s not just some fuckboy, Ning, he’s sweet, and kind, and cares about the little things, and—”

“So, you do like him?”

You sputter confusedly. “What are you even talking about?”

She stares at you dumbfoundedly. “You like him. You’re, you’re defending him,” she explains matter of factly. “Do you know how many girls he’s hurt ‘cause of his little hobby of hooking up and leaving them in the dust?”

“That has nothing to do with what we’re talking about. Admit it, Ning, you fucked up.”

She raises her arms defensively. “Fine! Maybe I did! But so did he. Multiple times with so many people. It’s weird that you’re on his side with this.” Sighing, she rolls her eyes. “Fine, I’m sorry for what I lied about when I wasn’t right in the fucking head, if that’s what you want to hear.”

You truly don’t know what’s gotten into her, but you also can’t be asked to bother caring. “Real mature,” you deadpan, realizing that that in itself is immature, too. “Get out of my room.”

She doesn’t even say anything to you. Just rolls her eyes again, mutters under her breath and tells the other girls they can come over to her place if they want. Yizhuo leaves with her jacket over her shoulder, not looking back.

“Go after her, it’s fine,” you tell Ryujin and Yunjin.

“Y/N—”

“Just go.”

They file out of the room in a hurry, and only when the door shuts do you let your tears of frustration fall. You slide down to the floor and cry into the palms of your hands with your knees up to your chest.

You’ve never had a fight like this with your friends. Sure, you’ve argued every now and then about stupid things, but something that left your chest heaving? All of this over a boy?

Your hands shake as you reach for your phone, your finger gliding past the group chat and your private messages with the girls—tempted to call them again, but you refuse—rushed to find the contact you've gotten so familiar with.

The line rings a few times, before you hear the click!.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” His voice is laced in concern, which warms your heart. And when you tell him you want to see him, he doesn't ask questions and simply tells you: “I’m on my way.”

Heeseung gets to your dorm surprisingly fast.

Then he reveals that he never left the parking lot, not specifying why, and you’re blushing all over. You avoid eye contact, but he reads it as you avoiding the topic.

He tells you as much that you don’t need to go into detail if you don't want to, simply promising to be here. “It’s been a long night, you should rest.”

You lay down in bed, lifting the covers as an invitation.

He lays down next to you. “Is this okay?” And all you can do is nod.

Your curtains are ajar, you notice, watching the way the moonlight traces Heeseung’s features. His eyes shine in the dark, but yours drift down to his glistening lips.

He lightly bites his lower lip as he holds a strong gaze on your face, studying.

Just when you think he’s about to lean in and close his eyes, Heeseung surprises you with a whisper. “I think we should go to sleep.”

Disappointment runs through your body, but you agree nonetheless.

Your dreams are plagued by the shadow of a touch and big brown eyes.

The following morning, the first thing you think is, “I slept next to Hee—Ow, my head hurts really bad?!”

You groan as you push the blankets on the side, when you notice the other half of the bed is empty. The sight of it makes you frown, but then you hear rustling the bathroom and you let out a sigh of relief.

“You’re up?” Heeseung peers his head around the corner of the bathroom. His hair drips onto the flooring and evaporated hot water trails behind him. “I hope you don't mind. I took a shower.”

Not finding the words, you wave it off. Shaking your head proves to be a bad idea because you’re left clenching in your fists from the pain.

Heeseung frowns. “Headache?” When you nod, he points to your side table. “I left a glass of water—I hope you don't mind I took it from your filter—and an ibuprofen—which I took from your cabinet, I really hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s okay, Heeseung,” you tell him quietly, wearing a pained, but genuine smile. “I really appreciate it, thank you.”

He smiles shyly before returning to the bathroom. And then it dawns on you that he might not have been wearing clothes during your exchange. Your face flushes, again.

When he leaves the bathroom, it’s your turn to freshen up. You try not to think about it too much.

“What should we have for breakfast?” he asks casually, sitting by your desk and is still working hard at drying his hair.

Your eyes are stuck on Heeseung’s movements. The way he fiddles with the towel to dry his hair, his face scrunching as he swipes rapidly. You smile in silent laughter at his cute expression, but you don't say anything about it.

“I’m really craving a croissant.”

That’s how you find yourself, hands inching away from Heeseung’s as you walk, making your way down to the café.

He tells you to find your regular table, assuring you that he’ll order. There’s no point in protesting, plus your headache still hasn't completely dissipated, so you willingly agree.

It only takes a few minutes for him to come back with a caffe latte and a dark chocolate mocha as per usual, as well as two croissants in paper bags.

“How’d you know I wanted a dark chocolate croissant,” you ask, peering into its bag. It’s glorious, you note, taking it out, careful not to spill the freshly drizzled still-hot chocolate.

Heeseung shrugs. “You’re always ordering the dark chocolate mocha, so I figured you'd like it on your croissant, too. It’s good right?”

You nod and hum into your food as a response, too enthralled by the taste and Heeseung’s attention to detail.

Your outing together goes well, as they always have.

He doesn't bring up your tear-stained cheeks from last night or the sudden call, to which you’re glad. The conversation is light, but natural. Every now and then, he makes you laugh and forget all about last night's events—almost all of them. Lingering at the back of your mind is the moonlight across his face, his soft lips and the feeling that you imagined when looking at them; the feeling of them pressing against your own.

Heeseung insists on walking you back to your dorm, again. You’ve learned by now that it's useless to argue with him, as stubborn as he is. “It’s on my way,” he lies. “Really, it's for me, mostly.”

That second statement is less of a lie, you can tell.

“After you,” he says, gesturing toward the elevator.

You lean against the elevator wall, closing your eyes. “I’m so tired,” you say with a muffled voice.

After pressing the button to your dorm with no hesitation, Heeseung’s eyes darken with a serious air. “Are you sure you're okay?” He’s not really asking about right now, more so about everything that happened last night. Everything he doesn't know about.

You’re afraid of admitting to him that you drunkenly spilled the truth to all of your friends, and caused a fight because of it. Not to mention he was the center of it.

Internally, you decide not to tell him about Yizhuo’s damage. That’s something between her and him, and you're not going to push it onto either of them.

“You can trust me—” Then, he reassures. “Only if you're comfortable.”

You are. So, you start to put together how you’ll tell him in your head, but your thoughts are interrupted by a loud—

THUD!

“What was—”

THUD! THUD!

And then, you’re falling.

Shit. We’re           falling.

Your brain stops working, completely freezing in your spot, the noise of the elevator screeching against its reins echoing in your head. Your heart pounds against your chest.

“On the ground!" a distant voice yells. Heeseung.

Right. That’s smart.

You follow his movements and lie down next to him, spread eagle. Your arms are practically on top of each other.

Heeseung grips onto your shoulder, shaking it. “We’ll be okay,” he says, though you're not sure if it's to you or himself. His eyes stay open widely, bloodshot. 

Suddenly, the elevator stops in its movements. The unexpected stop makes your chest bounce, but altogether, you're okay. You’re okay. “Is anyone in there?” The voice is muffled from behind the closed doors, but you think you recognize it as one of the janitors from the building.

Hurriedly, Heeseung rushes to the door. “Yes, yes, we’re in here!”

“Stay there—Er, I mean, stay still—Or, just don't worry we’ll get you out of there. Soon.” The ending of his sentence doesn't bring much reassurance, but from your spot still on the floor, you force yourself to believe his words.

Heeseung doesn't seem convinced either, but he lets out a sigh and extends his hand to help you up. You take his offer and try your best to ignore the fire his touch alights in your stomach. “I guess we have some time.”

“I guess we do,” you say with an awkward laugh.

He doesn't say anything in response, giving you the chance to lead the conversation. If you wanted to completely ignore the subject at hand, you don't think he'd mind. This gives you the confidence to do the complete opposite.

You take a deep breath before sputtering, “I told my friends about our deal. Drunkenly, so like totally an accident, but I did and now they know and—”

“Oh,” is all that comes out of his mouth at first. You worriedly lift your eyes to meet his, though now they're glued to the ceiling, with his back leaning against the wall. “That's—That’s okay. What harm could they cause? Unless you're telling me they're planning on going around campus exposing us… But that's not your fault.”

This time, you say “Oh,” standing in silence and staring at Heeseung’s favourite spot on the ceiling, too. The panel twitches from above, and you can imagine the elevator crashing has something to do with it. “I also got into a huge fight with them, or maybe not all of them, but it was, it was bad. We've never fought like that.”

“What was the fight about?”

You, you want to say. How Yizhuo did something stupid and it somehow turned into being about your complicated feelings for him. But you can’t tell him all of it, that’d be too much for such a tight space.

Shrugging while trying to look unconcerned, you decide to confess a half-truth. For some reason, you can’t get yourself to lie to him. “They think our plan is a bad idea because you’d be supposedly ‘using me,’ as if I like you, or something…”

He’s silent, at first. Heeseung considers what you’ve said, neither comforting nor arguing against you for it.

“Do you?”

You turn to him. “Do I what?”

“Like me,” he answers. “Do you like me?”

“I…” you start lamely. Your eyes avoid his, but they always seem to find their way back to his gaze, your face flushing underneath it. “I can’t answer that.”

And neither does he.

Instead, he turns so his body is completely facing yours, coming much closer than he was before. You tilt your head toward his where your breaths fan against each other. Your eyes make the mistake of drifting down to his lips again, and you instantly lose all composure.

You lean in first, but he’s quick to follow your lead, placing his hands onto your waist, while yours find their way to the base of his neck.

The kiss is delicate, but sparks fly all around. Your stomach does a flip when you feel his tongue tracing your bottom lip, but you don’t deny him access for long. 

Heeseung’s hands trail down your torso to your hips, where they inch backward to pull you closer into him. You follow his movements until he’s pushed against the wall with you tightly pressed against him. He flexes his arms around your body and flips you so your back is against the wall instead, with him hovering above you.

His knee is drawn between your legs pressing against your core, eliciting a moan, but it doesn’t go further than that. Soon enough, your movements are slowing down, though your heart is still racing in your chest.

When you separate, your mouth hangs open. “Heeseung…” you whisper, but before you can say anything more, the doors slide open.

“Are you okay?” The janitor that you predicted would be there is standing by the buttons, holding a handy-man suitcase for the electrician kneeling in front of the panel. “Anyone get hurt?”

You brush off any dust from your back, adjusting your shirt and hair to be more presentable. Also to erase the memory of whatever just happened. Did we really…? “No. No, we’re okay. Thank you.”

“Yes, we’re… okay,” Heeseung adds quietly.

You don’t even wait for Heeseung, rushing toward the staircase on the other side to get to your floor. For a moment, you hear his footsteps behind you, but once you’re up halfway, you realize he’s given up and you let out a sigh of relief.

You don’t really want to face him now, not after what just happened.

Luckily for you, you don’t need to face him for a long time afterward.

You stare at his latest text (”assignments are pretty crazy atm let’s reschedule our next fake dates”), trying not to focus on your heart tightening at his word choice, and quickly reply:

ME sounds good! see u :) 10:11

The week goes by slowly and quietly.

With Heeseung mostly M.I.A besides the occasional short-worded answers to your texts and you actively avoiding running into your friends, you’ve had a lot more time for yourself and you notice how much you hate it.

So, you pluck up the courage to text the ghosted group chat, asking the girls to meet together at the café. You all need to talk, whether any of you like it or not.

Though, the reason you even have the motivation to do this at all is because you know the girls have been making an effort to talk. Although not in the group chat, your messages have been spammed daily with apologies and questions about your daily life, to keep it casual. You also received a note during the class you share with Ryujin which read simply: “Love ya xx”

You smiled at it before crumpling it and stuffing it into your bag—What? You were trying to make a statement.

Now there’s no need for theatrical note crumpling, with the three girls surrounding you at your regular booth. Yours and Heeseung’s, you mean. It’s the comfiest there, you convince yourself when making the natural choice to sit there.

The space is filled with awkward silence as you sip on your mocha, feeling even more stuffy when the girls don’t make a move to drink their own orders. You’ve had enough of this. “Guys… Let’s talk, or something. We’re still friends.”

“I’m sorry,” Yizhuo says out of the blue. “Seriously. That was really messed up and I shouldn’t have said it. And I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, you had every right to be mad.”

You smile softly. “Thank you,” is all you say, taking her hands in yours and squeezing them. You lean your head against her shoulder and the two of you stay like that for a while.

“You really like Heeseung, don’t you?”

Your head shoots up at Yunjin’s sudden question. You stumble over your words, trying to suppress the blush from spreading up to the tips of your ears, but you feel the heat anyway. “No, no, I—I don’t. No.” You shake your head for emphasis, but Yizhuo looks at you with telling eyes.

“Sure, I believe you,” she says, completely meaning the opposite.

“I just—” you start, not really knowing how you feel. “Our whole set-up, it’s—it’s fake. He doesn’t feel the same. I don't even know why he kissed me—”

“He kissed you?!”

Before you have the chance to respond, your phone buzzes, drawing your attention thankfully away from your accidental reveal. It’s Heeseung. Great.

희승♡ there’s a party at sunghoon's, you wanna come? 14:23

ME when is it? 14:23 

희승♡ tonight @ 10 14:23

You look back up at the girls to find them staring at you with knowing smiles. It’s not hard for them to notice who you’re texting, or the way your eyes glint at the messenger.

“So,” you tell them. Yizhuo and Ryujin lean in, while Yunjin raises a curious brow. “Who wants to go to a party?”

Sunghoon’s house isn’t as grand, but it’s just as prepared for a party as Jay’s. Music blares into the driveway as you, Heeseung and the girls make your way to the door. Nobody is standing by it with a blunt, but the wide-open entrance is welcome enough.

“You guys go in,” you tell the girls, making a sign for them to not protest. They don’t, understanding your unspoken signal and heading inside. You turn back to Heeseung who looks more nervous than he’s known to be nonchalant. “Hey…”

“Hey,” he says back.

“It’s been a while.”

He hums, looking off to the cars spilling out into the street, nodding at nothing. “I’m sorry, I was, uh, busy,” he clarifies.

A chill passes between you, but you’re not so sure if it’s the wind or the awkward air. Either way, you’re happy to have brought a jacket to bury your hands in.

“You made up with your friends,” Heeseung notes suddenly.

“Yeah, we talked earlier.” He’s not going to bring up the kiss, you conclude, and neither are you. Maybe you can go on and forget it happened altogether. “We sorted it all out.”

Heeseung gives you a genuine, albeit small, smile. “That’s good.”

Scenes from the elevator rush through your mind. His hands around your waist, his lips against yours. The way it all felt, how consumed you were of him. How good it was. You blink it away and gesture to the door. “Should we…”

“Let’s go,” he says, then adds, “Kang Hana.”

You laugh. Okay, you think, we’re okay.

And with Heeseung by your side, the night is one to remember.

With the music ringing loudly throughout the house, after a few light drinks, you and Heeseung spend your time dancing with your hands on each other, rhythmically guiding each other to the melody. You almost forget there are other people in the room at all, closing your eyes and only thinking of the man holding you in his arms.

When the fourth or fifth song ends, you separate, only for him to run his hand down your arm to grab your hand on his own. He leads you to one of the rec rooms.

“There she is!” Yunjin’s drunken voice makes you giggle, the buzz getting to you, too.

“Hi, hi,” you tell her and the others.

Yizhuo is busy steadying her aim, holding onto a ping pong ball just past her nose with one closed eye, to greet you, but Ryujin waves sleepily from her place. She’s leaning against someone you recognize from one of her study groups. They nod to you, too.

“Hey,” Heeseung whispers, leaning into your ear.

You giggle at the feeling of his words against your skin. “Hey, back.”

“I’m gonna go get another drink, you want one?”

You nod eagerly, letting your fingers fiddle with his even as he begins to walk away. When he’s gone, your hands linger in the air for a moment more, missing the warmth of his hold.

Suddenly, the warmth comes back, though it’s different.

Turning around, you’re faced with Jay. “Can we talk?” he asks.

Wordlessly, you nod and let him guide you through the crowd of people to a more secluded area.

“What’s up?” You try to steady your voice, but it comes out higher pitched and perky out of instinct, still feeling the adrenaline of the buzz.

“Heeseung told me you wanted an ‘in’ at my dad’s firm?”

Your eyes light up. “Yes, yes I do!”

He chuckles at your excitement. “Well… I can give you his details so you can get into contact with him. I’m also technically not supposed to tell you this, but—” You lean in expectantly. “—they're picking out students for a co-op over the summer. Maybe I could put in a good word, slide your application at the top of the pile…”

“You can do that? Seriously!?”

“I can’t guarantee it’ll be with my father himself.” He raises his arms in defense. “But I can definitely get you some connections on the inside.”

Your hands come up to your mouth, holding it from going agape in honour. “Thank you, oh my God, thank you,” you repeat for good measure. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The air shifts as he moves closer to you. Jay’s hand lands on the wall not far off from your head. He leans in, his breath tickling your skin, making your cheeks flush. “Maybe you could thank me by letting me take you out?”

For a moment, you’re frozen in your spot. How are you meant to react? Heeseung’s best friend hitting on you? What would happen if he saw? Wait, does it even matter? You’re not actually dating. Right?

But the elevator…

“Hey,” a familiar voice sounds from behind you. Heeseung steps forward, the lights of the party illuminating his features dimly. His face wears an uncharacteristic anger in his furrowed brows and hardened jaw. “Back off.”

Jay simply laughs, retracting his hand. “Why do you care,” he taunts.

You try to keep your composure. Jay hasn't been the nicest out of the group, but you never expected him to sound so mean.

You watch as Heeseung refuses to reply, not wanting to push Jay even more as he’s clearly too buzzed to have a coherent conversation. He tries to grab onto his arms and lead him away, but Jay’s quick to push them off.

“You don’t even like the girl,” Jay slurs.

Heeseung gets closer to him, grabbing his arm and talking into his face to make sure he listens. “You’re drunk, Jay, back off.”

Jay isn’t having it. He tosses his head back in a laugh. “Don’t tell me you actually fell for her?” he asks in a venomous tone. Your stomach churns as you watch their interaction. A smirk grows across his lips. “You owe me.”

“Fuck off.”

“What?” You weren’t going to step in, already feeling shaken up enough from tonight’s events. But Jay’s words ring in your mind. “What does he mean you owe him? What, what is he saying?”

Heeseung’s eyes lock with yours, pity and sadness ghosting his expression. “Y/N, I can explain—”

“We made a bet,” Jay cuts in. He shrugs Heeseung’s hands off of his shoulders. “He had to get any girl on campus to fall for him, leave her in the dust and watch her crawl back.” He turns to Heeseung with a mocking pout, his steps wobbling. He’s really drunk. “Doesn’t matter that she won’t come crawling back, ‘cause you’re too soft to leave her.”

“What’s your problem,” Heeseung shuts. “Are you jealous? That’s fucking low, even for you.”

You can’t even see him properly, your vision blurred in tears. Your breath catches in your throat as you want to say something to interrupt, come between. But you can’t even stand being by Heeseung right now. “A bet? This was all a bet?”

He turns to you quickly. “Y/N, please, let me explain.”

You shake your head, tears running down your cheek, surely ruining your mascara. “I have to go.”

Maybe it would make sense if you let him explain. Maybe he could somehow salvage the situation, but you can’t hear it. Not right now. Not after everything you’ve felt for him, everything you still feel for him despite the ache in your chest.

From behind you, Heeseung calls your name. “Wait, please!” You ignore him and run out of the house.

Your body shakes. “Should’ve brought a sweater..” you mumble bitterly. Then you remember that you did, but you left it inside. You also realize that you left all of your friends behind without a word. “And my phone,” you groan. You could easily turn back around and get them, but you’re already halfway down the road, you can even see your building in the distance.

It’s too humiliating to go back now, anyway.

How could I be so stupid? you think to yourself. Lee Heeseung, going out with you out of his own free will? Stupid. Impossible. Just a dumb fantasy. 

It starts to rain. You curse at the sky.

When you finally make it to your dorm, stumbling up the steps because of course the elevator still hasn’t been fixed, you go straight to bed without washing up. You’re too tired for this. And, you realize, you drank too much to care.

You try to fall asleep. You really do.

But your head keeps replaying Jay and Heeseung’s conversation. The way Heeseung lips parted when Jay revealed it all. The way he looked at you, begging for you to listen to him. It’s all stuck in your head and in fear of it following you into your dreams, your body refuses to fall asleep to ignore everything.

Just as you’re about to take your pillow and scream into it, you’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone.

희승♡ i’m right outside your door 02:23

희승♡ you have every right to slam the door in my face 02:23

희승♡ or not open it at all 02:24

Staring at the messages, you bit your lip in consideration of your options.

You could, A. Not get up. Keep the door closed and never speak to Lee Heeseung ever again. Or, B. Get up, open the door and see what he has to say to explain himself. You’re liking the former, but your feet move on their own toward the entrance.

You lift yourself up to peer through the peephole. Heeseung is standing there, fidgeting anxiously in his stance. He looks from right to left a couple times, down to his phone, back up, and closes his eyes. After a deep breath, you watch him begin to walk backward, slowly.

Something snaps in you. You open the door.

His eyes widen at the sight of you. You’re probably still a mess, eyes red from crying paired with tear-stained cheeks and running mascara. You don’t even want to begin to picture the state of your hair. Yet, he looks at you in awe. “Hi,” he whispers.

“Hi,” you whisper back.

Wordlessly, you step back to motion for him to come in.

Heeseung follows you onto the couch, where you sit down to look past the TV in front of you and stare at a blank space on the wall. You feel his eyes on you.

“I’m sorry,” he then says.

You don’t reply.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he starts again. “But can I tell you everything from the start? I need you to know what really happened. Then, you can go on to hate me.”

I don’t hate you, you want to say. You don’t speak, nodding for him to go on.

Ironically, considering he was drunk out of his mind, Heeseung remembers the moment he got your call.

He and the boys were hanging at Sunghoon’s, originally just planning on playing video games and getting high, but then Sunghoon mentioned his dad’s stash. “Whiskey and lemonade, anyone? Rum and coke? Dirty Shirley? If you’re feeling creative,”

Who was Heeseung to deny?

And so, soon enough, they were drunk enough to forget the weight on their shoulders and act more carefreely. This is when Jay decided to come up with a brilliant idea.

“So we all know Heeseung’s a whore—”

“Hey,” he interrupted. “I haven’t gotten some in, like, four months.”

Jay laughed, taking another swig of his drink. He grimaced as the liquid burned down his throat. “You’ve basically fucked half of the campus, but it’s always one night and that’s it.” Heeseung nodded, not sure where he was going with this. “Bet you can’t get someone to fall in love, or some shit.”

He couldn’t help but raise a brow challengingly. “What? You think someone wouldn’t fall for me if I gave them flowers and took them out?”

“Have you ever even actually dated?”

The answer was yes. Technically. If you count middle school relationships. Otherwise, fine, he’ll admit to himself that he hasn’t ever dated anyone seriously. That’s just ‘cause he hasn’t found anyone he’s really interested that he knows would be into him, too.

Of course, there was you. You were the first person he ever fell head over heels for. Heeseung didn’t even know he was capable of falling so hard, but he did.

Though you would never like him back. You’ve already confirmed it.

So, Heeseung clapped his hands determinedly. “You wanna bet on it?”

But before Jay could answer, his phone rang.

The contact felt familiar—Note Giver—but his mind couldn’t register. “Hello,” he said confusedly.

Some commotion on the other side took him by surprise.

“Um… Who is this?” Sunghoon looked at him curiously, wondering what could’ve interrupted their moment.

The girl, he presumed, on the other side hesitated for a moment. There was more noise before she said: “This is… Hana…”

“Hana?”

“Kang. Kang Hana,” the girl clarified. Y/N. He finally realized it was you. “We met at the, uh, party last Friday. At Jay’s.”

Heeseung considered your words, wondering where you were going with this. At the same time, he accidentally spilled his drink. “Shit,” he whispered away from his phone. Sunghoon tossed him a towel with a big smile on his face. When the mess was mostly cleaned, Heeseung brought the phone back to his ear, cleaning the rest of it with his other hand. “Kang Hana.”

“Yeah, we had a good time together, didn’t we?”

He paused. “I guess,” he said slowly. He wanted to have a little fun with this, listen to your voice a little longer. “Can you remind me?”

You began to tell the tale about your supposed encounter, spinning the story into something that genuinely impressed Heeseung. Every now and then, he hummed, trying to suppress a laugh at your creativity. He doesn’t even want to know why this was happening.

“I’m so sorry, I left you in the dirt and—” Your voice was cut off by a squeal, shocking him.

“Woah!” he yelped, pulling the phone away once again. Jay couldn’t hold his laugh at Heeseung’s reaction.

“Who is it,” he asked.

Heeseung didn’t miss a beat before responding without really thinking. “Y/N.”

He practically hears your heart drop. “You knew it was me?”

“Obviously,” he replied with a chuckle. “Took me a second, I’m a little tipsy, haha.” He didn’t want to throw you off by admitting he was more than buzzed, so he told a white lie. As long as he was coherent enough to have a conversation, he thought it was fine.

“Oh, am I interrupting?”

“You’re never a bother, babe.”

Why did I say that? Maybe he’s more drunk than he thought. It just slipped past his lips, he doesn’t know why. Were his fantasies meshing with reality that he couldn’t help himself? Heeseung tries not to watch Jay’s face morph into something mischievous.

“Huh,” you said, which made Heeseung cringe.

Jay mouthed something in his direction. He tried to read it, but it must've been something along the lines of “Her. She’s the girl.”

Heeseung knew what he meant and mentally hurled the empty chair to his right at him. Back to the phone conversation, he tried to change the subject. “Are you with the girls?”

You told him you were, and he took this as an opening.

As much as he wanted to keep talking with you, since it’s been so long, he needed to get away from this conversation to recover from the embarrassing slip-up. “I don’t want to keep you if you’re having fun. Text me later though, okay?” God, when does he stop talking?

You confusedly told him “Okay?” before you cut the call.

He was already typing a message to apologize to you for his behaviour, but Jay was already telling him to play along with it some more. The bet was on and he decided that you were going to be the girl.

Heeseung felt a knot form in his stomach.

“I should’ve just come clean when we met at the café, but I didn’t. I’m sorry.” He ends his retelling at that, you fill in the rest with your mind.

You’re not sure what to say. You have so many questions and comments spiralling in your mind, where do you even start? “There was never a girl?”

“No… Just you.”

Stuttering, you just have to ask. “Why me?”

“Jay told me to go for you, said it would be a challenge. I was stupid enough to go along with it. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, I wanted to tell you the truth, but I… I really like you, Y/N, I didn’t think you’d want to be with me if you knew the truth.”

“You called me babe.” Is all you say.

“What?”

“On call. The first time. You called me babe. I thought that was you playing your role.”

Heeseung lets out a shaky sigh that sounds more like a breathy laugh. “I was drunk,” he explains. “And I…” You look at him expectantly. “I’ve liked you since we met, and I guess it slipped up ‘cause I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

This shocks you. You blink up at him. “Since we met?”

“Well, pretty much.” He rubs the base of his neck awkwardly. “Obviously you’re really pretty, but it was more than that. You were always the first in class. You only answered the professor when no one else would, even though you definitely always knew the answer. You’re so well spoken, too.” You blush at his words. You never realized he had been so observant. You never thought anyone would notice so much about you.

However, you shake your head. “But you never said anything?” This truly astounds you. The everknown Lee Heeseung never made a move to even at least try to be with you. You can’t even know if you would’ve said no to him because well… he’s him. If you knew him the way you know him now, you know you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.

“Remember what I told you about the girl I liked?” You nod. “You’re her.”

You furrow your brows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Last semester, I went to one of the campus parties and you were there. You were drunk out of your mind,” he laughs. Oh, God, he remembers, too? “At first I was just admiring this new side of you. So carefree and so unapologetically you.” His eyes glint at the memory. You can almost see it replaying in your head. Almost because you truly can’t remember much of that night. “And then you ran off to the bathroom at some point ‘cause you got sick. I followed you to make sure you were alright, but you pushed me away.

“You told me to fuck off ‘cause you didn’t want to sleep with me. You called me a player and said you didn’t want to get roped up in that, or something. I think you insulted me some more, but your words were kind of all mashed together.” You flush. “I left you alone, but made sure to get your friends to check on you. And, I don’t know, I kind of lost interest in hooking up with random people after that.”

Your eyebrows raise, impressed. “You quit cold turkey?” He nods. “For me?”

He nods again.

“Wow… You really like me?”

“Y/N, I think I’m in love with you.”

You find yourself teetering on the edge of disbelief and joy, uncertain about how to respond to this unexpected revelation. Heeseung looks at you with such tenderness that you’ve never had directed toward you, to which your heart flutters with warmth.

His eyes shift from adoration to concern as you sit there in shock for a moment. “I know you probably don’t like me back, but—” he starts, but you don’t let him finish.

Driven by a surge of emotions, you lean in, pressing your lips against his.

As you kiss him this time, there’s a greater sense of assurance. Your first kiss carried an air of uncertainty, with both of you unsure about each other’s feelings. The way you felt when pulling away left your stomach in knots, thoughts of insecurities and worries running through your mind.

You let go of your hesitation, now, focusing solely on this moment. The way your lips connect to his, the way he smiles into the kiss and the way you pull away to look at him with telling eyes.

“I love you, Kang Hana,” Heeseung tells you.

You reply with a laughing smile. “I love you, too, Lee Heeseung.”

A ringing phone blares in your ear early in the morning. You groan, eyelids barely awake since even the sun hasn't come up yet. “Hello,” you mumble into the receiver. “Um… Who is this?”

You recognize the chuckle from the other side. Suddenly, you’re much more awake. “I’m sorry, Love, did I wake you?”

“No! No—” you scramble but are cut off by a yawn. Heeseung laughs softly again. “Yes, you did, but that's okay. Why're you calling so early? How are you even up?”

“I couldn't sleep.” Then, he adds more teasingly. “Not without you.”

You can practically hear the wink he sends.

“I wanted to watch the sunrise, and then I thought that maybe you’d want to watch it with me?” He says it like a question, as if he's not sure. You shake your head even though you know he can't see it. “Maybe I should've thought this through…”

A giggle escapes your lips without warning. “It’s fine, Heeseung. How about you come over and we’ll watch it by my window? Unless you have a spot?”

He hums assuredly. “No, no, I was just gonna watch it from mine, too. I’m actually, uh, already inside your building.”

He’s so ridiculous. You laugh to yourself before telling him to come up—You unlock the door, only for him to appear right on the other side as you do it.

“Hi,” you tell him with a bright smile despite your tired eyes.

“Hi,” he replies quietly.

You’re lucky your window is facing the east, with little to nothing blocking your view from the clear bluish-orange morning sky, aside from some trees, but they only add to the landscape. The sunrise is beautiful, but you conclude that Heeseung is much more beautiful, especially with the way his eyes reflect the sun rays that hit through your window.

For a moment, you shut your eyes to appreciate the heat of the rays. “Beautiful,” Heeseung murmurs.

And when you open your eyes, you realize he’s looking at you.

[aro-kai]

Tags from @tadpal bc they were just too on point:

The show was so incredibly biased towards Rohan. Objectively, they fucked over the Dunlendings. Even the book seems to imply it??? But the show was so--even the differing visual portrayals were awful. And the super European take on the cultures shown was also.....Ugh

(it's a world where the author has openly admitted in the appendices that the cultural aspects he's chosen are largely "translated" for the worldview of a modern English audience from an unknown original text) (there are so so so so so many ways you can take this) (and this was one of the worst ones tbh)

Alright, I was holding off for journalistic integrity but now that I've seen the WotR film I can make posts about it without restraint.

Jesus christ the racial politics of this film are atrocious. Some character might as well just tell Wulf 'not to play the race card'. Wulf is a liberal snowflake who blames racism for all his troubles and can't pull himself up by his bootstraps and he is also brown-skinned and obsessively pursues our PORCLAIN white dainty-drawn female protagonist with both romantic and murderous intent. Oppression of dunlendings by the Rohirrim exists only in Wulf's head apparently, though it can be tasted in every spat 'dunlending' perjorative that comes from Helm or Haleth's mouth. But Hera has absolutely no racism within her of course! She refuses Wulf because she doesnt want to marry anyone and Wulf just assumes it's because his dunlending blood disgusts her, so entitled of him!

But also maybe the racism is '''justified'''? If it exists? Which it doesn't! But IF it did, don't worry because ONCE AGAIN all the dunlendings are just greedy, clutching, unwashed, skull wearing, violent barbarians with no unique culture to speak of and no reasons to be making war on Rohan except to sieze what isn't theirs (ignoring the fact that it totally was theirs until Rohan seized it from them and OH BOY are we ignorin' that) And the only dunlending we see not frothing at the mouth for violence or showing any introspective depth at all is General Targg who is the mouthpiece with which we get to hear 'the girl (Hera) is right' whereupon he is promptly killed by Wulf.

Oh but of course, what else could Helm have done? Freca was some greedy FAT man (boy does everyone love calling him fat, happy to lean into THAT aspect of canon) whose lands were too prosperous for his own good (hang on isn't keeping your lands prosperous the platonic ideal of lordship?) And he called a 'Witan' (no he didn't, he came to one of the regular councils of lords that Helm called himself) just to make a scene about how Helm was going to marry Hera to a lord of gondor which is bad because Gondor has some nebulous hold over Rohan so Hera should marry Wulf instead (literally none of that, Freca simply asked Helm to wed his daughter to Wulf, his son, a completely normal and legitimate political strategy to secure a better relationship with the King's family since Helm already mistrusted him for having dunlending blood. Freca is a lord of Rohan, he is rich, he traces his ancestry back to King Freawine, this could not be a more reasonable suggestion in canon.)

SO OBVIOUSLY Helm had to get angry and call Freca fat again (true he did do that) and THEN claim that Freca only wanted his throne (there was never any suggestion of this in the books, it was just the offer of marriage which insulted Helm) to which Freca answered "Old kings that refuse a proffered staff may fall on their knees," and Helm is like okay lets take this outside.

And now THIS change is actually so important in understanding the extreme nature of the Rohir/Helm favouritism that is the main focus of this film. In the film Helm pretty much immediately takes Freca outside, he reassures Frealaf that Freca just needs to be shown his place, this is the only way to settle the matter, if he doesn't embarass him here then Freca will try to take his crown and slay his family apparently, his hunch ig etc etc. Freca punches Helm three times in full view of the whole of Edoras including Freca's two men who came with him, then Helm punches him back and he is knocked out cold and dead by the time he hits the ground. Film!Helm does not realise he has done this and tells Freca to get up, Wulf realises his father is dead and threatens Helm with revenge, swords are draw against him which he tries to calm before Wulf attacks him. Helm incapacitates Wulf, his sons draw THEIR swords and Helm exiles Wulf for drawing his sword on his king. Messy right? Like not a good thing to do, generally brawling with your lords is a bad idea full stop, but if you fear for the lives of your children then idk maybe it's excusable? And then it's just an unfortunate series of events right? And Freca was rude and insulting to a king in his own halls, heat of the moment etc etc

I feel so comfortable in telling you that Helm murders Freca in cold blood in the books, fully intending that to be the outcome.

He does not take him outside initially, Book!Helm tells Freca that this marriage dispute isn't important and they will deal with it later. And then;

When the council was over, Helm stood up and laid his great hand on Freca’s shoulder, saying: "The king does not permit brawls in his house, but men are freer outside"; and he forced Freca to walk before him out from Edoras into the field. To Freca’s men that came up he said: "Be off ! We need no hearers. We are going to speak of a private matter alone. Go and talk to my men!" And they looked and saw that the king’s men and his friends far outnumbered them, and they drew back. "Now, Dunlending," said the king, "you have only Helm to deal with, alone and unarmed. But you have said much already, and it is my turn to speak. Freca, your folly has grown with your belly. You talk of a staff! If Helm dislikes a crooked staff that is thrust on him, he breaks it. So!" With that he smote Freca such a blow with his fist that he fell back stunned, and died soon after. Helm then proclaimed Freca’s son and near kin the king’s enemies; and they fled, for at once Helm sent many men riding to the west marches.

(Appendices, 'The House of Eorl', emphasis mine)

I think we can all agree that forcing someone out of your city, isolating them away from their fellows with threats of violence, telling them you will break them, killing them in one blow and then proclaiming their kin your enemies and forcing them to flee to escape a murderous pursuit, is pretty clearly premeditated murder. There is not much nuance here, Freca tresspassed over a line with Helm that Dunlendings are not allowed to cross and Helm killed him for it.

And listen like, the description of this whole story within the appendices is barely more than three pages. This is not an obscure missable aspect of the tale, nor is it outside of what rights they had to adapt. The choice was made, actively, ONCE AGAIN by the Warner Bros cinematic universe makers, to drastically alter book events in order to sand down any immorality within Rohan's narrative, especially where the Dunlendings are concerned. And in the end the only 'mistake' Helm is allowed to learn and grow from is some nebulous and trite 'not believing enough in his daughter' schpiel, which needs to be the subject of a whole 'nother post actually.

And what's agonising is they COULD have done it like they were so close, there are multiple moments where me and my friend watching were like struck!! With grief! Over how impactful this moment could have been if only the racism actually existed as an acknowledged theme in the story. If only it was something Hera had to come to terms with, if only IT was the true driver of these horrors to the point where it's Avatar, Hera's father, a man who loves her and whom she has loved all her life, turns into a cold icey ghost of brutality, far more vicious and barbaric than the people he so reviles, and reveals to her the terrible truth of his actions and motivations. It's agony I tell you.

Anyway I did not like the film.

[alchemistc]

43. undone if it speaks to you <3

Getting back to these because I have a lot of fleeting half ideas I need to get rid of to focus on the Cap Buck series. This once again got longer than I meant it to so happy new year.

It takes Eddie about half an hour to realize Buck and Tommy are actually having a drawn out argument, right here in public, instead of just bickering the way he's so used to.

It's...strange.

The thing is he's always seen Tommy with a lid on it - he projects a certain image in a public, and a slightly less restrained image in private, and Eddie is absolutely certain the Tommy he knew six months ago would have rather eaten a live scorpion than air his shit out in such a public setting.

He supposes six months into their second at bat and Tommy's a little less concerned about laying a bunt.

It's subtle, is the thing. Eddie has had screaming matches with Buck in very public places before, he knows the usual script. Emotional land mine after emotional land mine exposed to whoever's in hearing distance, no holds barred, knock down, drag out shit. It's probably why it takes him so long to notice, because this is some fucking terrible amalgamation of Buck and Tommy at their worst and he is not a fan.

Hen goes to get another round with a raised brow in Eddie's direction that means she's definitely noticed too and will be taking her damn time getting back.

Chim's too busy staring all moony-eyed at a ready-to-pop Maddie absolutely killing her karaoke song to care when Tommy grimaces and rolls his jaw while Buck whispers something Eddie doesn't quite catch.

Eddie takes a drink. Then another.

He's down to the ice in his rocks glass.

"You aren't seriously trying to argue that projected stats have more weight than a full career, are you?" Tommy asks, and Eddie sort of wants to hit them both, because what? What? This whole thing started when a song reminded Buck that Tommy had once implied he didn't have enough gay experience to really love Tommy. Or. That was the gist, according to Buck. Famously not a reliable narrator in high emotion moments, but Tommy's never outright denied it, to Eddie's knowledge.

"I'm just saying, Gretzky's goal record is gone, so how can you say people with a decade of play left in them can't be in the conversation to surpass him? Statistically -."

Tommy's eyes glint. He looks mad.

When he stands from his seat, Buck throws both arms in the air. "Yeah, walk away," he spits, and Tommy, two steps towards the restroom already, spins on his heel with clenched fists.

Eddie has a sudden, clarifying memory of Buck reading off the statistics for couples who make it past the first six months. First year. First two, and five. Statistics for couples who took a break. Statistics for gay men, specifically, when he realized his sample size was skewed too straight.

Jesus Christ, he'd rattled those off to Tommy, too.

"I'm not subjecting Eddie to the shit I have to say to you right now, Evan," Tommy says, jaw clenched, hands digging into his pockets. He rocks back on his heels, tension fucking rolling off of him.

Buck stands too. Makes a sweeping gesture that seems to piss Tommy off more, and then they're both disappearing into the crowd.

Hen sets a new drink down in front of Eddie twenty seconds later.

"Thank you for leaving me to witness that by myself," Eddie manages, with a wry twist to his smile, and Hen grins back.

"Their foreplay sure has kicked it up a notch," she says, and Maddie crinkles her nose as she drops back into the booth beside Chim.

"If Jee hadn't been there they'd have screwed in my bathroom last week, I just know it."

Eddie shakes his head between them. "They - you guys know they were fighting, right?"

Maddie raises a brow at him like he's cute. Like a cute confused little puppy. Oh he hates that.

"Tommy deciding one of them dying was the only way they'd be free of each other has opened up a whole new world of ways for Buck to get his rocks off," Hen intones, like it's obvious. "This is just their flirty bickering turned up to eleven."

Eddie takes about twelve minutes to digest that - just long enough for Hen and Chim to get a duet in, long enough for him to drain another drink, long enough for Maddie to decide the baby's officially tapped out for the night, long enough for Chim to grab their jackets and toss a few bills on the table before he's herding his wife out the door.

Tommy rounds the corner and settles back into his seat looking decidedly more relaxed. There's at least one less button hooked on the flannel he's been wearing all night. It takes Eddie a second to register that his face is a little dewy, like he'd recently splashed water on it.

Hen makes a face a second before Eddie gets it.

"Oh come on, man."

Tommy's lips twist into a grin, and he yelps when Hen kicks out at him under the table. "Low hanging fruit, Kinard."

"I mean, one of us did," Tommy manages with a shrug, and only winces at the second kick.

Buck slides in next to him with a fresh beer for each of them and slaps a hand high on Tommy's thigh. Possessive. Still clearly a little riled.

"Yep, I'm out," Hen murmurs, and Eddie scrambles after her.

[amiaenn]

Habits

Harumasa × reader

Note:I was so deeply imbued with this character that I was inspired to pour out my thoughts here a little bit. (+I myself have problems with my lungs and heart, so I understand this bro as much as possible).I apologize in advance for my mistakes, this is my first experience in writing (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

genre/warnings: nope.It's just fluff, don't worry.

wc: ~800 words

Ever since you started dating Harumasa, it has seemed to you that your apartment is slowly turning into a medical office and new habits have appeared in your life. An abundance of various pills, ointments, saline solutions and many other things, the names of which you have not even heard of until recently, filled your shelves. Any pharmacy would envy such supplies of medicines.

And of course, your everyday life has changed too. No, of course you understood that it would change with the appearance of another person in your apartment, but you could not have imagined that Harumasa would bring new activities into your routine that you could not even think about until now.

First, maintaining order in the house. It cannot be said that you were completely dirty in this regard before, but sometimes you can put off sorting out some dusty shelf for later, right? Now forget about it. Asaba is the kind of person who starts a coughing fit from a single speck of dust, and you were sincerely sorry to see and hear him cough, and knowing about his lung problems, you immediately thought that now wet cleaning will be daily, no matter what it costs you, even despite Harumasa's eternal words that he is not a weak guy who can get sick from such household trifles (although his body's reaction says otherwise).

Secondly, now you have increased knowledge about various diseases (especially those related to the heart and lungs). How and what affects this, what is a state of remission and how to maintain it. Well, of course, in connection with this, you began to go with Harumasa to pharmacies to buy the necessary medications. And going out on such shopping, you remembered more and more the names of these pills. You can even confidently say that you remembered this entire list as long as the Great Wall of China.

Third, this is cooking. Yeah, for people who get sick easily, a special diet is needed. A balance of proteins, fats and carbohydrates. It is unlikely that a weak body will tolerate an abundance of chemicals in food, so you need to be more careful with this issue of cooking and selecting ingredients, so you will have to exclude all this harmful food, or at least limit its consumption to a minimum. To support Harumasa in this difficult matter, you decided to give up all the harmful food that you had previously consumed and switch to a healthy diet. One day, you impulsively got rid of all the snacks and bought vegetables and fruits, creating real chaos in the kitchen. Soup is boiling in one corner, vegetables are baking in another, while fruits are being cut on the table and, seeing this picture, Asaba only chuckled and said "Need help?" To which you nodded aggressively, and the guy already went to put on his apron.

Well, and the most interesting thing. A bitter taste began to be felt on your lips more often. You couldn't say that you were a doomed lover of bitter, on the contrary, you tried to avoid bitterness. Once you tried espresso and the fact that it was not a very pleasant experience is to say nothing. But with the appearance of Harumasa, you began to feel the taste of bitterness on your lips. And, you guessed it, all because of his kisses. It's no secret that Harumasa takes pills more often than food and this leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. But he stopped noticing it a long time ago, because years of taking medications give an addiction to this taste and it becomes unnoticeable. But you feel it fully, but to your surprise it felt.. nice? Yes, that's right. Strangely nice, for a lover of sweets like you. When you felt this taste for the first time, your eyes widened and the question "How can he calmly consume such bitter medications?" was spinning in your head. He noticed your surprise and involuntarily wondered what he did that caused such a reaction. Harumasa decided not to hesitate with the question and casually asked, "Something wrong, baby?"

You just awkwardly shrug your shoulders at this question, as if you don't understand what he's talking about, "No...no, everything's fine, don't get hung up on it."

After this incident, you began to get used to it, and after some time, the taste of bitterness began to be associated with something good and familiar. Something that brings a smile. Even more, now you wanted to feel it more often and you began to kiss Asaba at every opportunity that was given to you. He came from a successfully completed mission? What a good boy, he deserved a kiss. Are you making breakfast together? How cute, you can kiss him. Is he just relaxing? A great reason for a kiss! To be honest, it bordered on addiction, but for now it was on a fine line, because you skillfully control yourself and if you are told to tone down your ardor, you will do it without question.

And yes, why did you start liking espresso? It's strange...

[gojoidyll]

There is No Law that Emperors Must be Fair

Emperor ! Jing Yuan x Princess ! Reader

Chapter 10 | Boring Princess

Summary | You are set to marry the Emperor, Jing Yuan. In order to break the engagement, you stage an accident and fake having amnesia. But now, your own cruel, cold, and distant fiancé, who seemed to not want anything to do with you, is now acting all lovey dovey!

want to be a part of the taglist? then pls go to taglist ^-^

Previous | Fic Masterlist | Next

You were fitted with a dress the moment you got back to your room. Whether or not it was pretty, well, you suppose that Jing Yuan will be the judge of that. You just hope that the dinner goes well.

“The emperor is waiting for you, princess.”

You nodded almost slowly as the maid finished fixing your hair before stepping away from you. You stood up from your chair that was sat perfectly in front of your mirror. You didn’t want to go to this dinner, but the Emperor’s word is law. Much to your dismay.

“Thank you,” you managed to utter out as you began to leave your room. The roll of the maid’s eyes and her little scoff only made you sigh internally. You recognized her. She was one of the frequent maids who would accompany the Emperor to his bed. Her dislike of you was made clear when you first met her.

The walk to the dining hall was quiet and almost awkward. Blade, who flanked your side the moment you left your room, did not make it any better.

“Nervous?”

His sudden question also unnerved you. He hasn’t tried to talk you once or initiate conversation with you in this life yet. So it had caught you off guard.

“Yes, a little.”

Blade watched you carefully before nodding and lead you into the dining room.

“Princess.”

You gathered any courage you could muster as you bowed to the Emperor. The legs of his chair scraping against the marble floor as he stood up to greet you.

“Emperor.”

You tried to keep your tone even, but it was obvious that you were scared. You couldn’t hide it, no matter how hard you tried.

His footsteps echoed loud in the room as he walked towards you, and you involuntarily took a step back but was stopped by Blade. And when he stopped in front of you, he reached for a strand of your hair and played with it a little. The curl twirling between his fingertips before he let it go as he let out a sigh in… disappointment?

“You are quite boring, aren’t you, princess?”

“Boring…?”

Jing Yuan smiled at you, “yes, boring. You don’t say or do anything about the maids that warm my bed. You spend your days flitting about the castle without evening trying to escape. And among other things.”

“Well, maybe if you wouldn’t kill anyone who says one wrong thing about you, then maybe I would be more inclined to speak with you.”

You couldn’t stop the snap in your voice, but Jing Yuan merely chuckled at your words. Amused.

“As if your words held any value to me in the first place.”

The Emperor glanced towards Blade, “get rid of her for me, won’t you? I don’t like playing with toys that bore me to death.”

Was coming to this dinner a test? It must have been since the Emperor just ordered Blade to kill you.

And just as the guard took a hold of your arm to probably drag you in a more secluded place. Jing Yuan stopped him.

“Killing her here is fine,” he said simply as a few servants came out of the kitchen with hot and ready foot and cold beverages. Blade, in response, merely pushed you to the ground. His other hand already unsheathing his sword. And when he raised his weapon, you closed your eyes.

Death was at least quick this time.

And just like before, when you opened your eyes, you were back in your room at the very beginning when you started to form a plan to get amnesia.

You needed a new approach altogether, it seems.

taglist pt 1

@danae-misfortune @frogsasfrogs @openthenyoor01 @zuhaine @ughlostmyotherac @joyfulnightprincess @thechibifoxcub @ceaether @satanisasofties @thetwinkims @yanrandom @honeybunbunn @superdonkeypatroleggs @ohmyfinggod @baboon-milk333 @zareri @kclremin @rains-mae @yccoffeesimp @bloomiesty @moon-taffy @superdark-soul @pinkismyfavcolor @isa-l0v3r @its-astrotea-love @reapersan @junephantom21 @erisfayred @greyrain23 @justadekusimp @uzxotic @alisstaa @avalordream @unlivingdisaster @pix-stuff @sleepyxion14 @pillows-blankets @anicega @junni-berry @niaainthere @sorachitsuki @dyingsweetmackerel @rosariymchapter @immahuman @fluffy-koalala @momoniq @orphiclueur @insightedly

[contemplatingoutlander]

Ann Telnaes will be sorely missed at the WaPo. She was one of the few good cartoonists left there, since the former Murdoch lackey Will Lewis took over as CEO. She will hopefully not be replaced by another right-wing cartoonist like the awful Michael Ramirez.

Honestly, the only reason I keep my subscription to the WaPo is for the comments. It's still one of the few papers of record that almost always allows comments to articles. So no matter how far to the right Lewis tries to push The Washington Post, that perspective is always countered by its largely left-wing readers.

However, the WaPo seems to be trying to interfere with the joy of the comments sections of articles with their new universally despised format. Why on earth they got rid of the simple "Like" button is anyone's guess. Here's an example of what the comments look like now:

It's annoying to decide between "Clarifying," "New to me," Provocative," and "Thoughtful." 🤦🏻‍♀️

The comments used to also be freewheeling, and replies were in plain site. Now replies are hidden under another button. After the format change, I've also noticed that some of my favorite commenters aren't posting anymore. That is truly upsetting.

I’ve worked for the Washington Post since 2008 as an editorial cartoonist. I have had editorial feedback and productive conversations—and some differences—about cartoons I have submitted for publication, but in all that time I’ve never had a cartoon killed because of who or what I chose to aim my pen at. Until now.

The cartoon that was killed criticizes the billionaire tech and media chief executives who have been doing their best to curry favor with incoming President-elect Trump. There have been multiple articles recently about these men with lucrative government contracts and an interest in eliminating regulations making their way to Mar-a-lago. The group in the cartoon included Mark Zuckerberg/Facebook & Meta founder and CEO, Sam Altman/AI CEO, Patrick Soon-Shiong/LA Times publisher, the Walt Disney Company/ABC News, and Jeff Bezos/Washington Post owner.

[taylor-titmouse]

new fuck yourself friday, new cover art process post~ this one was really fun, the visual concept came pretty immediately after @petitemortality explained the idea of the story to me as rocky horror but christmas. it's a Bit after christmas now, but you should still go read it. you'll be able to See the movie version of this one in your head and hear all the characters speaking, it's really great.

now let's get to the process for the cover!

THUMBNAILS

i mean. thumbnail. because i did only one.

like i said the vision was very clear. candela, the hot older starlet, busting out of a christmas present like marilyn monroe from a cake. from here we workshopped the actual aesthetic--less distinctly christmas and more Winter Special, and more wine aunt than party girl. so i ended up here

which led to this note

a point which i still defend. that is a yoohoo boys. that is a good howdy do.

anyway.

these were the pencils before we moved on to final. the mistletoe was added near the end because we were like "but how do we make it obvious this is porn" and that was the best we could come up with that didn't involve giving her a plunging neck line (which we got rid of because she is a Classy Dame). the finish is as you see above!

i think my favorite part is the sparkles on her dress. that was fun to implement. i love to draw a sparkle.

anyway go read Don't Unwrap 'til Christmas!!

[writinganon1]

This is called I went insane! enjoy :)

@cokoweee

O, now, for ever. Farewell the tranquil mind; farewell content.

Othello, Act 3 Scene 3

~

Water licked against his arms as he floated there silently, occasionally wiggling his fingers to create ripples that lapped against his face. 

The heating lamp above the tank rotated to heat the rest of the water. Pushing off the wall to follow the direct rays he let his head dip under the water. Warmth rushed over his head, his legs flicking momentarily underwater as he let himself sink beneath the ripples. 

A smile spread across his face.

It was so nice to be here again. Nothing but him and the water. 

The door to the room opened with a squeal. He sank deeper, hoping she would look over him and leave him be. 

He swore violently as a hard plastic ball hit his head with surprising accuracy. Reluctantly floating back to the top, he let his head barely break the water's surface and glared at Kendra. 

“ I made dinner. Eat some of it.”  She paused, eyes sweeping over the deck of the tank. “With me so I know you did.”

“I already ate today.”

She groaned and kicked at the water. “Two rice cakes, a mango, and a bag of oranges do not count as eating. One meal. K’mon, we agreed to this.” 

“M’not hungry.” 

“I will drag you to the kitchen worm. Do not doubt me.” 

He let air hiss from his mouth softly and flopped to his stomach, letting his feet rise to the top of the water. He kicked in a single swift motion to reach the bottom of the murky pool water. Propelling off the gritty pool floor, he shot himself upward through the water toward the deck. He kicked twice, his legs close together, arms held tightly in front, soaring through the water. When he was able to see the light again, he let his arms fall to his side and let his head bob up to the top. He shook his head to get rid of excess water he swung a leg over the ledge of the pool and climbed out.

“Dramatic much,” Kendra grumbled, water beads dripping rhythmically from her hair. “I know you can get out normally. I’m on to you.” 

He shrugged, wrapping a large towel over his shoulders and dragging his feet over the rough pool deck. “Turtle stuff. You wouldn’t get it.” 

She rolled her eyes and quietly followed him, mumbling all the way.

She threw a pair of sweatpants at his back. “Put on some pants you big slut!” 

He held up his hand, letting the longest of the three stick up. 

“Did you just give me the middle finger?” She laughed. “Do you even have a middle finger?” 

He turned his head, scowling at her laughing face as she overtook him on the walk to the kitchen. “I’d say go to Hell, but they’d hate you too.” 

“I’m gonna pop the soup in the oven.” She looked him up and down. “You stop being a whore.” 

He called back, waving the pants over his head. “ I am a proud slut!”

He paused as the smell of the pants hit his nose. 

Lavender. 

It definitely wasn’t his detergent. He just got whatever Drax claimed was the cheapest. Had she been washing his clothes? He’d honestly assumed Sheldon had been doing most of it for him, but Sheldon knew better than to use her detergent. Why would she do that for him? 

He pulled them over his legs, his mind twisting in circles as he shuffled into the dimly lit kitchen. Snapping his fingers quietly, the lights burned a brighter hue, purple flickering in occasionally through the yellow light bulb. 

Kendra placed a bowl of soup in front of him, sliding it towards him when he didn’t immediately start eating. He placed his hand on his chin, lowering it slightly towards her as he pulled it away. Thank you

She nodded briefly before sitting down next to him, her own bowl of soup in front of her. 

“What's wrong?”

He frowned, ladling soup into his mouth as she watched him. He didn’t need to bother her with what he was dealing with. Didn’t need to weigh her down. 

So he smiled instead, his lips curling upward ever so slightly as he moved his hands. He brought a hand to his chin again, this time letting his fingers rest just below his face as he curled them into an O, his fingers expanding outward as he moved them away from his face. Nothing. 

Kendra’s frown deepened as she translated his hand motions. “You’re not talking. Something is wrong. You were just talking a second ago. What happened?” 

He paused, the soup on his spoon dripping into the bowl beneath it, as he conjured up the strength. 

“Why are you still here?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean it. Don’t play dumb. Why are you still here? With me. Dealing with all of this?” He waved his arm around the poorly lit kitchen, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “I could have given you enough to move out and get a place of your own. But you stayed here. Why?”

She stayed silent, rolling her eyes as she went back to eating her soup.

Maybe this wasn’t the time to have this conversation. She seemed happy. There was no need to ruin her night. 

He cursed silently as a hiss fell from his mouth. There was no getting out of it now. Kendra looked over, almost on cue, her head tilted in question. 

“Don’t you ever get tired of this?”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know…taking care of me.” He lowered his head as heat flushed his cheeks. “Doesn’t it ever get too much?”

Her head tilted further, eyes softening as she watched him flounder over his own words, silent nonetheless.

“I wouldn't have had dinner if you hadn’t made it tonight. Isn’t that pathetic? Don’t you want someone else? Someone who can take care of you the way you deserve? Why me?” 

Silence filled the kitchen, her eyes following his head as he sank to the counter to rest his forehead against the cool granite.

She was not a broken thing like him. She had cracks along her face sure, but she was still beautiful. Still perfect and stunning. Perhaps those lines allowed her to understand him in some way. The way he felt for her when she opened up. 

But he- he was broken. Chips taken from his heart, from his soul. They could not be replaced by time. They were forever gone and he was forever broken. No one would fill those cracks. For his were not relationships lost, but people he would never hold again. 

No amount of love would bring them back. 

“I’m not mad at you you know?” She said softly, her hand reaching to his hand, fingers twisting with his. “I should’ve said something.”

“I’m sorry.” 

She scooted closer, leaning her head against his shoulder. “I’ll listen.” 

Of course she would. She would always be there for him. In some form or fashion, she’d be there. He couldn’t do the same for her. It was pitiful. And yet she was still here. 

“Do you hate me?” He asked quietly, pushing her head away from him.

She paused, her hand outreached, inches away from his arm. “I hate what you have allowed yourself to become.  Nothing but a plastic bag floating in the wind. No purpose, just going where the wind blows you.” She punched him, her eyes flickering with anger. “ It’s ridiculous. I know you’re more than this. I know it and I want to see that man. I want to see you back in that lab of yours making things you love.”

“I can’t.” He whispered, 

“Why not?” She pressed, holding his arm like he would float away if she didn’t force him closer. 

Looking to the side he stared at the hallway leading to the lab. “If I make something it has to be perfect. It has to be amazing and useful.”

“You can’t just make things for fun?

“It had to make up for the fact it came from me.”

She yanked her hand away, lips curling in disgust. 

She believed it too then. That he was nothing more than a disappointment. There was no harm in continuing. She was sure to leave after this. After she saw who he was. 

“I am not the same person you met all those years ago. With a want and passion for life. Building things on a whim while I pretended I was someone I wasn’t. I’ll never be him again. He’s-”

Her face hardened suddenly. “Don’t tell me you’re not the same person I met years ago like it’s a bad thing. I am not the same girl you fought in the streets. Change may not be easy, but it’s not for the worse either.”

He blinked slowly. It was true. She had taken time to become better. She’d worked hard to overcome her past and become someone new. But he had just sat there. Wasted away while the world passed around him. Fought dozens of battles. Won dozens more. And for what? There was no real purpose to it. 

 Just anger. 

Just emptiness. 

Just pain. 

He was no butterfly. Locking himself away from the world like she had, emerging something better, something beautiful. Taking to her new life like a fish to water. He was no beautiful creature. 

He was a worm. Aimlessly wandering through the dirt. Stopping often to sit and ponder. What did worms think about? Probably their worm brethren. Or worm sisters perhaps? No matter. Worms were gross and he was one. He liked to wiggle around on the floor too. Dirt was nice. He would probably have to bury himself in the mud after this conversation anyway.

He looked back up to see her staring at him, her eyes full of compassion. 

Taking a deep breath he continued. “They left and suddenly things changed. I didn’t want to get up in the morning. There was no one there to greet me. My hair got long. I didn’t cut it. I didn’t care. I stopped building things. It wasn’t fun anymore. I couldn’t bear making something that wasn’t for them. I didn’t care for the company my dad fought too hard to give me. The house got messy. I didn’t clean it.  It took- it takes, so much effort to do anything. My dad started coming less and less. He probably hated me for a while. Life hated me. That I know.” He paused. “I suppose I hated myself too. “

Her hand reached out again. “You’re always going be sad about what happened to them. We can’t fix that, can we? But it doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice back then. It’s just something you have to carry.” She wrapped her fingers around his nubs. ” It hurts to let go. But maybe it also hurts to hold on so tight? It’s a fine line you balance Tello, and I think you have a foot on both sides. You shouldn’t expect to be able to balance it perfectly.   And eventually, we’ll work on setting it all down, but let’s try to deal with carrying what you have for now ok?”

He stared, eyes brimming over with tears. How could he ever manage to balance the now with what had happened all those years ago? He couldn’t let go of them, they were a piece of him. And yet- they were holding him back from truly living. 

She climbed from her chair to sit on the counter in front of him, forcing him to look at her. “I’m not asking you to endure this on your own. I’m aware that it’s hard, I know all too well. But I know that enduring this will bring the outcome I want to see most.” 

“Which is?”

Reaching out, she cupped his face gently. “You. Caring about yourself and not just the ones closest to you.” 

“I’m sorry” He whispered, turning away. 

She moved his head back to look at her. “I’m not upset with you. I’m just sad. Sad that you think you don’t matter to me. I want you here. But you’re locked up in that little world of yours so often that I don’t get to see you.” She slid her hand down to his cheek, cupping it once more. “I like it when we see you. You know that right? Sometimes I try knocking. And you’ll open the door a crack and you just sort of stare for a second and then disappear right back in your little hidey hole.” She tightened her grip ever so slightly. “What can I do for you to stay outside?” 

“Wait for me.” His voice comes out choked and small. “Wait for me. I need you to wait for me. And I’m sorry that it’s taking so long and that it’s going to take so long. You really don’t have to stay for me.” 

“I’ll always wait. Even if it takes twenty years or a lifetime. I’ll wait for you. And if you are too tired to speak then let me sit by you.” She leaned her forehead against his. “I too am familiar with the silence.”  

The dam burst. 

Tears fell faster than he could wipe them away. 

“I am lonely Kendra. Even with you here next to me, I feel so hopelessly alone. There is nothing I can do to fill the void I feel. I’ve tried everything. It just gets deeper and deeper and I continue to drown. Nothing I do lets me swim.” He swiped at his face furtively as tears dripped down his face.”  I feel so empty, so- so drained. I can’t describe to you what I feel because it would make no difference. There is nothing. Nothing you can do to fix it.” He gestured to himself. “To fix me.” 

He will always be a fragile thing. A caged bird with broken wings. He had built that cage himself of course. Broken his own wings as he let himself slide deeper and deeper into the void of crushing loss. Broken birds did not fly. 

He certainly never would. 

Kendra moved from the counter to his lap, her legs dangling over the seats edge. 

She wrapped her arms around him, head in the crook of his neck, words breathed softly against his skin.  “Maybe you do not need fixing. You’re a mess of good intentions. I can see it. I don’t know why you can’t.”

He pushed her away again. “I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of.”

“Mmm?” 

“I hurt people in the Nexus. I did it just to feel something but I didn’t even feel anything. Just anger that my brothers weren’t there.” Running his fingers through his hair he leaned his head back.  “I killed some of those people in cold blood Ken.”

She pressed closer, placing his hands around her. 

He melted against her, body racked with sobs. “Do you want to know something? Rock bottom isn’t as bad as they say it is. It’s a nice place to rest your head. No one expects a thing from you. You can look up and admire the sky. Admire the beauty of the world passing around you. Climbing up from rock bottom is what’s hard. People expect you to be what you were before you fell. But I don’t think I’ll ever be that again. And it hurts. It hurts to fall.” His chest heaved with hiccups as he tightened his grip on her, tail curled around her leg. “Because the climb up isn’t easy. It’s hard and I’ve scraped my knees and torn my hands to shreds and all I have to show for it is this.” He gestured around the dingy kitchen hopelessly. “Looking up was safer than wondering when I’d fall again. I don’t like this. Is that awful of me? To want to go back sometimes. When I was just nothing.” 

There's silence again. She holds him, letting his tears soak her shirt as he does nothing for her. He was such an idiot. Spilling his heart out to someone who had her own struggles. She never told him about her life. Would he ever get to know about her past? Other than the spats they’d had the in streets all those years ago. 

“I’m sorry” He choked out.

“For what?” She whispered against his head. 

“...Being me”

Pulling him impossibly closer she took a deep breath. “Grief never leaves, maybe it starts to feel less like stabbing at your heart and more like a hand helping you through life. I think you need to look at where you were a few months ago. You’ve come so far and I’m so, so proud of you.”

“You can leave. You don’t have to stay here with me.” 

“Othello Von Ryan one more word out of you about me leaving and I will personally drop-kick you onto the freeway.” She said, her voice dripping with sweetness. 

“There are simply no words suitable for what I need to say to you. Maybe we were never meant to fall in love. Maybe we were meant to stay enemies, friends at most. But here we are and I managed to fall for you. And I fell hard. You were never supposed to know about my childish crush on you. But you did, and now we’re here acting like two strangers fumbling through their life stories while we fall apart in each other's arms.” 

She laughed, her voice thick with emotion. “ That’s why I’m here. I am going to love you in all your moments. Whether you are fighting to keep your head above water, or soaring through the waves I will be here. Do you understand? I want to be here with you. I want your mess as much as I want the rest of you. I’m not leaving because I don’t want to. This is where I belong. I fell in love with you not because you were some sort of perfect man to fix all my problems. I fell in love with you because I saw how hard you tried. Because you let me see your imperfections and worked past them, pushing past your comfort to help me.” 

Her face pressed against his plastron, tears running down her face as she hugged him tighter. He watched as she held him close, as if her arms alone could hold him together. It was beginning to feel like they could. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled against her hair. 

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” She whispered against his neck. 

He leaned against her, a funny feeling in his chest. What a curious thing love was. So strong that it could make him forget his past. So gentle to caress his broken body. So perfect for the two broken people they were.

He wrapped his fingers in her hair, hard enough to feel her pulse beneath her skin. She immediately reciprocated, hand wandering to tangle in his hair, the other around his neck. 

“Can I ki-”

She cut him off, pressing her lips against his, quieting his words. 

He kissed her back, kissed with a desperation he didn’t know he had. Passionate and fierce; tender and questioning. 

Her lips were soft, pillowy against his, her smile pressed against his own. He could feel the tickle of her breath under his nose as he breathed her in. He moved off the stool, hands lowering to her hips to carry her. Her torso melted against his skin, breath hot against his face. 

Stumbling backward, tripping over the coffee table they’d placed there earlier, he fell backward onto the couch. She buried her face in his neck, laughing at his mishap while running her fingers over his shell. 

He shivered as she drew circles with her thumb, her other hand still tangled in his hair. 

“I’m not…” He spoke haltingly, voice raspy with fear. “Good enough for you.” 

“No one is perfect.” She mumbled, inclining her head to lean against his forehead. 

He brought his hands up to frame her jaw, their breath intermingling from the closeness. “I am more imperfect than most.”  

She leaned against him, pressing her lips to his. “I will love the deepest darkest parts of you. I will kiss away the pains your head causes you. I won’t leave. I will fall in love with you over and over. I don’t care how, where, or when, no matter how long it’s been your mine.” She murmured against his lips. 

Warmth blossomed in his chest, sparks flying as he watched the rise and fall of her breath. Kendra was his. 

Nothing else matters. Not the past conversation, not the salty tears streaking their cheeks. Nothing mattered but her. The way her body pressed against his, with every fiber and part of his being he wanted nothing more than her. 

Because it was Kendra. Kendra who tasted like home. Kendra who’s hands were soft and gentle. Kendra’s hands who would cradle his broken heart. Kendra who whispered her way through his mind. And it was Kendra who he’d focus his time on. She saw something in him that he couldn’t see in himself. But her lips held no lies. There must be something there that she was waiting for him to unlock. 

He hoped she would be there when he did. 

~

She loved me for the dangers I had pass’d. And I loved her that she did pity them. 

Othello Act 1 Scene 3 

-Writing anon 🤡

✨la de da de daaaaaa✨🧚@crowleys-pockets

[thethreefaes]

Kiara shook her head.

“No. Should it turn red you’ll do nothing. It would take you too long to get there anyway. If they managed to injure me to the point of the crystal changing then I’ll use you and Lyra as focus points to shadow step back here.” They would be of more use here. Their combined aura made it easier to feel where safety would be. And they’d be with her sister. As long as she was protected.

Hiccup spoke of Lyra like one of his own. Well he did say she was part of his tribe. But the concern for giving her more freedom… he was like no human she’d ever met. It was that realization that made answering his next question easy.

“If it cracks, give it to Lyra. She’ll understand the meaning. And I’d have you continue to be the chief that you are.” She chuckled. “Part of me would have you swear that you’d watch over my flower. But you already do. You take care of your tribe. So that’s all I ask you do.” Kiara taps Hiccup’s nose before turning away.

“But I doubt it’ll come to that. Don’t underestimate a true fae.” He’s only seen Lyra’s magic. As weak and hidden as it was. Kiara looked forward to getting rid of these pests.

Lyra nodded as Astrid spoke. She was right. It was her hut and home. And Hiccup and Astrid would back her if Kiara got picky. The question about far fruit had her laugh.

“It’s ridiculous! It’s fruit grown in the Veil. Usually apples, peaches, strawberries. But fruit grown in the Veil contain the very magic from the ground. So it energizes us. And Kiara thinks it tastes better.” Lyra rolled her eyes.

“Hiccup!” Lyra ran up to the chief, an excited grin on her face.

“Are you busy? I have something to show you!” She took his hand and pulled him towards Altair and Toothless.

“You know how last month the lightning strike caused the large forest fire?” Stopping in front of the dragons the fae all but buzzing in excitement. If her wings were visible they’d be fluttering.

“I did a thing!” She couldn’t wait to show him.

[laswells-ashtray]

Okay, here me out on this. Gonna do this anonymously cause social anxiety is scary and I've never left an ask before, first time for everything I suppose. :')

I was randomly just watching the missions for MW3 cause I loved the concepts of some of them, just hated how most of it played out (Like how did Graves survive being blown up? Or how it felt like the story was rushed at points). Then I remembered the mission where Price got trapped in that silo thingy with the poisonous gas stuff that I cannot remember for the life of me what it is called (Think the mission was called Reactor,if you wanted to look it up if I don't explain it that well). Loved that mission cause to me it showed that Price wasn't this almighty powerful captain that doesn't get injured that badly compared to everyone else in 141.

Had a random thought of just the in-between part of when Price passed out to when he woke up on the helo. Was scrolling through the random posts and when I got to the one where Mac had met Price's team and stuff all I could think about was what if Gaz or Soap or anyone who's met Mac just tell Nik or Laswell to call for grandpa. I find it hilarious just the thought of Price's subordinates panicking over the fact that their captain, (and practically father figure sometimes due to how often he mother hens them), had inhaled poisonous gas then passed out and wanted help from someone who's known Price for years. Then cue Mac just showing up on base in Price's office or calling Price really late at night being like "You have 5 seconds to explain what happened and how in the world you got into that situation Mister. I do not care that you're a captain now I still hold seniority over you Price, I will pull that card you little shit." Cause despite the fact that Price was a pain in the ass when he was Mac's sergeant he still cares for the stubborn Brit's wellbeing.

Sorry if I started ranting, I love cod and finding the posts have made me do my happy stims. :) Especially reading the silly ones, always makes me feel better when having a bad day.

Made me get my glasses for this one, in a good way I'm just blind as shit. A little bit. Also never apologise for ranting, this is a safe place for ranting, rambling and threats of bodily harm but only if they're polite about it.

Firstly, I know exactly what mission you're talking about because I can't get past the second juggernaut and had to rage quit because I was giving myself a stress headache.

Secondly. I've missed writing more Mac if only because I have to write so English-ly for everyone else.

When the door opens, John doesn't look up. He assumes it's Nikolai coming to check on him, Ghost popping his head in to call him a twat again or one of the sergeants asking how he's doing. He doesn't expect to see the same, worn soles of some battered old boots that he's been trying to convince Mac to get rid of for over ten years park themselves on his desk.

Nor does he expect to see Mac watching him, arms crossed over his chest, and a look of blatant fury on his face that makes the hair on the back of John's neck stand up.

His chest is still tight and there's a familiar ache in his throat, he's too old to be getting fucking gassed anymore. Whatever cancer he'll be riddled with in ten years is not worth it.

"Well?"

He isn't stupid enough to answer that, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk. If Mac didn't look ready to deck him, he'd likely be lecturing John about "uncooked joints on the table".

"Jus no gonnae say a fucking hing tae me? Dae a luk like a store dug?"

He groans and ignores the rattling behind his ribs, running a hand over his face as he prays that maybe, just maybe Mac will go easy on him.

"What have you been told?"

He doesn't bother asking "and by who?" because he doesn't want to be annoyed at any of them, and it was likely Kate.

"Ye inhaled a fuck ton ae somehin ye shouldnae 've and a hud to hear about it fae someday else."

He nods, looking at the older man wearily. "That's about it, didn't think you'd need a play-by-play."

Mac lowers his feet off of the edge of the desk and drags his chair closer to the desk with a grating scraping noise that makes john wince.

"Right, lad. Genuine question, are ye a fuckin tit?"

It appears to be just that, a genuine question if the way Mac is arching a brow at him means anything. The Scot doesn't allow him the opportunity to answer before talking again.

"Ye must be, cuz we both ken launchin heed first intae somethin filt wae somehin that mangles ye is some biblical arsehole-ity, John."

John briefly considers slamming his head on the desk. It'd do no good to explain that it was for the mission, Mac would probably just skelp him over the back of the head for implying that wasn't something the retiree already knew.

"You did worse back in the day."

MacMillan only narrows his eyes at him, clenching his hands into fists on his lap.

"Dae ye take me as a gid fuckin example wae these things, son?"

John shakes his head, staring down at the desk in front of him.

"Swear tae fuck, ye pull a stupid stunt like that again and a'll huv yer fucking knees wae a crowbar. Christ, is yer self-preservation that far oot the fuckin windae?"

That has John looking back up at him through narrowed eyes, everyone kept jumping down his throat about it as if they wouldn't have all done the same for the sake of a mission. It was part of the job.

Mac slams his hand down on the edge of the desk, irritation washing over his face in waves.

"Dinnae fuckin luk at me like that, crabbit wee git. A get tae rip intae ye fir stupid shite like this or did ye forget that? The fuckin heart attacks ye put me through fir years and ye huvnae changed a bit? Ye canne be dain that tae every, ye might act like an ignorant arse but ye've got folk aroon here that actually don't like the thought ae attending yer fuckin funeral, ye daft cunt."

Maybe the older man can see the exhaustion that's settled in John's bones, wearing him away from the inside out. Or maybe this is just how MacMillan felt years ago, it might just be an inherited trait that presents itself alongside the captain title.

"Get tae bed, son. We're talkin aboot this the morra. And tea wae lemon fir yer throat, ye sound like ye've been gargling shrapnel."

[veren-cos]

hihi, this may be a bit too specific, but if you’re willing to take it on, i’d love to see headcanons for the stardew bachelors’ reactions to an autistic/neurodivergent reader getting overstimulated or upset from too much sensory input (like loud noises, too many conversations, sudden physical contact, etc) and how they would comfort the reader? i rarely see any posts of this nature and would absolutely love to see one from you if you’re willing!! if not, no worries and tysm - keep up the good work!

Sdv Bachelor's x overstimulated reader

"Mmm nope this is too much!" You were balling up your hands, nails digging into your skin. It was too loud. Your shirt started to be uncomfortabley tight. Your jeans felt too scratchy, it was too bright, too much! Everything was too much.

Then you feel someone next to you.

Sam

"Hey.." he didn't know what was wrong, but concerts can be a lot. Especially if you don't know what you're walking in to, as this was your first one. "Can I touch you?" You nodded. "All right." Feeling a hand on your shoulder first, you knew he was moving slow.

He slowly moved his hand towards your back, starting to lead you out of the crowd. "Okay," the loud buzzing is drowning out as you go to a different room, "is this better?"

"Mmmhmm" You nod into him, pulling him into a hug. He held you tight, the pressure feeling nice, despite your shirt feeling suffocating.

"What can I do to help?" He rubbed your back, trying to calm you down and distract you.

"Let's just stay like this."

• Basically, he isn't entirely sure what's going on? He knew about your neurodivergencies, but had never quite seen how they effected you.

• Just a sweetheart who wants to help

• The two of you stayed like that for quite a while.

• If you were feeling up for it, yall would go back to the concert, but chill on the back of the room.

• He always brings earplugs, so he would give you an extra pair he has. In the future, he'd get you a pair of headphones.

• If you were not up for it, he would drive you home, no question.

Sebastian

He slide his hand into yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. He gets it, they were loud, it was a lot. The saloon was full of people, all yapping away, getting rowdy and enjoying themselves. And at times, you'd join in, have a blast! But today it was just too much.

"You wanna get you of here?" He whispered by your ear. "My social battery is dead, so why don't we head back to my place?"

You nodded your head, holding his hand tighter as the two of you walked out. The cool fall air felt nice. Sebastian never let you walk without a coat, but you had forgotten to bring one, so he lent you his hoodie. It was soft, and got rid of the icky feeling of your shirt. You were warm, and being in the quiet forest filled walk made you feel so much calmer.

Your walks were always a comfortable silence, Sebastian never once pressured you to talk. But just know he was there for you made things more than enough.

• I personally headcannon Seb as autistic, or some other form of neurodivergent.

• Regardless, he gets it. And he never wants to single you out, so if you ever need out of a loud or over stimulating place, he just says he isn't feeling social and books you guys out of there.

• He understands the overwhelming feelings.

• He likes to give you his goodies if you're getting overstimulated. They drown out some of the other senses, as they are really heavy and warm (not in a bad way though!)

Alex

"Babe, what's too much?" He leaned in closer on the bleachers. The game was going great, your guys' team was winning! So what was wrong?

"I'm so sorry Alex, I can't be here right now. It's too loud. It's way too loud." You stood up to go, but he grabbed your hand.

"Hey, wait. Do you need headphones? I know it gets loud, but it's part of the fun!" He didn't get it. Well you didn't say, so how could he know?

"Maybe another time, but right now, I need to get out of here." You near ran away, finding a quiet spot near the concessions. And you heard him behind you.

"Babe, hun, what's wrong? I can't know if you don't tell me, I just want to help."

"It's too loud! Everything here is too loud" You started gripping at your forearms, nails scratching into your bicep. "People here are so rowdy, and it's so loud. The seats are so uncomfortable, and it's. So. Loud. My shirt is too tight, my jeans are scratchy. And it's SO LOUD" You were freaking out. The noise was too much. It was all too much. You tried to ground yourself, but it was impossible because even from here you could hear the yelling fans.

"Hey.. hey. Look at me." He pulled your hands away from yourself. Your nails were digging in way too much for it to be good for you. "You're okay. Shoot what did I read. Uhm. Can you tell me the color of 5 things you see?" Alex didn't entirely know what the point of it was, but he could see you were not having a good time.

"Uhm... the bleachers are gray. The uh.." You took a deep breath. "The chip bags are yellow. Your eyes are brown." You had to stop for a second to just breath.

"Hey, babe you're doing great, just 2 more." He could see it was working! A miracle what glimpsing at a book about anxiety will do for you!

"Mmm. Your jacket is green. And the clouds are white." Your breathing was back to normal, and you could finally think again.

"Better?"

"Better. But uhm. Is it okay if I get out of here? I can stay in the car!"

"Hun, no. No we are leaving I'm not making you sit in the far by yourself." He held onto your hand, and started walking out the gates. "No game is as important as you are."

• He doesn't quite get overstimulation. But he does understand panic attacks.

• They aren't the same, but he can recognize when your brain is running a million miles a minute, yet on the brink of shutting down.

• He definitely tries to read up on what neurodivergency you have. He won't get all of it, just because he doesn't have it himself, but he wants to be the best boyfriend he can be to help you.

Shane

"Whats too much?" Shane looked to you, trying to make out the expression on your face.

"It's too loud.." You went from balling your fists to covering you ears, trying to drown out the noise. You shut your eyes tight, trying to focus on your breathing instead of all of the overwhelming sensations.

You felt him pull you into a tight embrace, resting his head on top of yours. Slowly pulling your hands away from your ears, Shane quietly asked what you needed. "I need out."

"Okay. Let's go then." No one questioned the two of you as you left the saloon. Shane was quite standoffish, so no one bothered him whenever he was at the bar. Once you got outside, you sat on a bench nearby. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You considered, but wanted to save this for a different time. "Not right now. I think I just want to be home. Will you uhm. Come with? I don't want to be alone. I just need someone to be with me." You felt safe with him. You didn't feel judged.

"Yeah.. yeah of course."

• While he doesn't explicitly know yet, all he knows is that you need out.

• No judgement. He just wants to be a sense of comfort.

• He gets when social interaction is overwhelming, but has trouble when it comes to textures or noises.

• But he puts in the effort to learn.

Elliot

"Love, what's wrong?" You felt him lean over your shoulder, rubbing your back. Elliot had been so sweet as to take you out for dinner, but it was all off today. Foods you were normally fine with were all wrong, the textures feeling rancid in your mouth. The ambient lighting was messing with your eyes, and it just was not going well. All you could hear was the clinking of people's glasses, and forks scraping against plates.

"Elliot.. Elliot I'm so sorry but everything is just." Your nails dug dents into your skin. "Just wrong."

He let out a breath. "Honey, you can talk to me. Here," he took a puasing, holding your hand and pulling you from your seat. "Why don't we take a step outside, hm? Take your mind off things for a moment."

The further away from the main room you were, the less overwhelming it all was. Once you were on the patio, it felt like you could finally breath. "There, that's better." He smiled softly. God Elliot was just so sweet, he understood without you needing to say. He notices the littlest things about you, appreciating you down to your smallest detail.

"Thank you, Elliot. I'm. I'm so sorry I feel like I'm just ruining our date." He was so sweet as to plan your entire evening, a book reading at noon, then shopping around the city, and finally, a candle lit dinner before going back home.

"My love," he looked into your eyes, "you are not ruining a single thing." You smiled as he kissed your forehead. "You just need some time, there is nothing wrong with that. Today has been a lot, and I apologize if it had been too much."

"Oh dear no! Nono, I just. Ugh. I sometimes just feel EVERYTHING all at once. And I can't sort out the good feelings from the bad ones. It gets all jumbled. And I can't focus. So, thank you. Thank you for giving me a breather."

"Of course, my love. And we can stay out here as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere." He wrapped you in his arms, pulling you close. You could smell his cologne, and the beach still leaving its mark. You stayed there for a long time, before continuing to enjoy your evening.

• Elliot is very attentive. So even if you haven't told him, or don't know what's going on, he is prepared to handle it, to work through it with you.

• He loves you so much, and knows that things can get overwhelming for people.

• It may not be the same, but he often gets overwhelmed with his writing, not remember what he has already written on the page, often spiraling and repeating his verbiage.

• So he can really empathize, and he will be there for you every step of the way :)

Harvey

"Farmer, are you alright?" He looked at you worried. Slowly unfurling your hands, he spoke, "you shouldn't dig into your palms like this, you could cut yourself."

Mmmm he was too close, and his voice was too loud. And as much as you appreciated the sentiment, you did NOT want him touching you right now. "Please don't."

"Don't what?" He was looking more concerned by the moment.

"Don't touch me." You gently pulled his hands off, though it was not a difficult task.

He flushed, "ah! I apologize, I should have asked first. But, love, what's wrong?"

"I, I don't know. Just ah. I'm not feeling great." Your breathing picked up, and became uneven. You didn't know what had happened. You hadn't been feeling well all day, but things just took a sudden turn for the worse.

"Okay, well." He let out a frustrated 'hmph'. "Walk me through your day, let's see."

"I uh. I woke up, fed the animals, made sure the sprinklers covered everything. I went up to Robin's to build a new silo. I then went to Willy's to get some more bait. Which got me thinking I should really make my own bait machine. But then I realized I didn't have all the materials. And while I was looking at my blueprints I found some other machines that'd be helpful, so I took a trip to the mines. And then I came here, to ah. To" you were starting to hyperventilate, spitting out your words as fast as you could. "To say hi to you, because I haven't seen you in a while. And I miss you, but I felt bad I couldn't stay for long. But now I'm here, and I'm taking up too much of your time with nonsense and I-"

"Woah, sweetheart. You're okay. You're okay. Here, okay. Breath in..." he motioned for you to breath. "Alright, great job. Now breath out.." he let out a big breath. "You are doing great. Breath in. Hold it. Breath out."

You were slowly starting to calm down. But everything still felt. Wrong. Why did it feel wrong?

"Now. It sounds like you did a lot today, huh? But it sounds like you didn't take a lot of breaks. Did you eat anything? Sleep good last night?"

You blank stared at him. "I did. Neither of those things." It was so obvious, but you got so into a spiral of busy you forget you have basic human needs. "Oh my yoba."

He let out a nervous laugh, "alright, well let's get some food in you, okay? I've got toast, or leftover noodles? Or that can of soup you left here last time?"

"That sounds great, Harvey. Thank you.."

• He knows all about it.

• Has some great grounding techniques, and is always pretty good at narrowing down the source of your troubles.

• Fixing them however is a team effort.

• He is always there to support you!

• He tries to keep things he know trigger it away, getting some more low lights, rather than the gosh darn overhead fluorescents.

• He always always makes sure to have one of your safe foods in his fridge. :]

Hey!! I love writing for this stuff! I'm autistic (amoung other neurodivergencies lol), and you're right, there is not a lot of content of this nature! My whole jam is writing for things that bring people comfort, however niche or serious it is! They deserve to be written about :) hope you enjoyed, and if there is anything inaccurate let me know! I'm writing mostly off my experience and knowledge, but if I'm flat out wrong I'd rather know and change it haha

And I tried to show different reactions for the reader with each bachelor. With Sam and Seb, the reader likes pressure, and touch for comfort. But in Harvey's scenario, it's a no-go. Sometimes the overstimulation is caused by sound, like in Alex and Sam's, but other times it's caused by lighting or just a really long day, like in Elliots. Overstimulation can be caused by a lot of different things.

Also I just realized I like. Never write for when you are married to the bachelors??? You guys are almost always just dating. It's most often an established and longterm relationship, but never married. Neat.

Masterlist

Feel free to leave more requests too! I like to have options lol

[iolite-moodboards]

little things about the young justice team (s1)... ₊˚ପ⊹

things i associate with the team (also sorta hcs) feat. some fun friendship stuff sprinkled in. some of them are a little unserious because they are special to me lol also because the show is so old, I incorporated a couple older, 2010's stuff.

I wann write more hcs for them :,)

𐙚˙⋆.˚ recommended posts: yj insta pages, scooby doo vibes

Robin₊˚ପ⊹

sushi

nintendo switch

versache sunglasses

demolishing the others on the monkey bars

sudoku

blackflips in response to everything

"i went to locked in island and no one knew ur name"

plays dti with m'gann

just dance 2014

beach days with the team

drama queen at heart

beefs with children on roblox

sweet coffee

rihanna is his white girl anthem

ungodly screen time

debate team

sitting on the counter while someone cooks/bakes

secretly a reader

the face swap filter on snapchat

Artemis₊˚ପ⊹

mario kart

pho

weekends with her mom

house music

fun nail polish colors

late night runs to cvs

redbull

fortnite with wally

espresso shots

flappy bird

a stuffed bunny she's had since she was a kid

getting gelato with zatanna

yelling at wally over voice chat and takes the mic out

caffeine addiction

led lights in her room

bribing dick to help her with her homework

"check this out" *blows something up*

a collection of lps figures on her shelf she hasn't gotten rid of

taking wolf out for walks (or is it the other way around?)

says she has her driver's license but actually does not

Zatanna₊˚ପ⊹

autumn walks

cappuccinos

tv at night

phone calls with her grandparents

ice skating

taro boba

saying "man don't even worry about it" when someone notices a magical portal randomly opening

stardew valley

stealing robin's sunglasses

arctic monkeys

lavender

tumblr girl

mitski

has become a more huggy person since losing her dad

walks around the city with dick

spotify jam sessions with connor

alfredo

turning the others into rabbits when they annoy her

taking pictures of the moon

Wally₊˚ପ⊹

doordash

the cravings of a pregnant woman (/j)

instant ramen

xbox

sneaking out for in-and-out

drinking water too fast and choking

wears new balance like an old man

"smells like up dog in here"

fortnite

dirty laundry on his floor

sends multiple texts in a row

chromeo

shamelessly listens to the btr theme

sneaking bites of batter without m'gann knowing

sitting with connor while he teaches wally origami

going through the drive through on foot

saying sunny d tastes like vomit then continuing to drink it

floor time

binging movies with dick

burns easily

Kaldur'ahm₊˚ପ⊹

watching the sunrise

5am swims

vegetarian

glass noodles

stingrays

nora jones

jazz

suggests playing twister and claims it's a team building exercise

not made for caffeine (he's a fish guys)

seaweed

has a lil fish tank in his room

smells vaguely of shrimp and salt water

watching spongebob because the others made him

he looks like your confused dad when you try to explain anything to him

bubble wands

adidas slides

actively plays animal jam

"what is up dog?"

sunscreen (burns easily pt 2)

surprisingly, will chug fruit punch

cabbage

Connor₊˚ପ⊹

hiking with wolf

bumper sticker that says "i am a dad to a fur baby" that the others got him

origami

hates sports

straight face listening to hey tayo

pottery

protein shakes

the smiths

gym days

has a human sized dog bed for him and wolf

not a fan of sweet things

actually needs glasses

gifted m'gann an origami fish once

eats cheese sticks like a child

weekly sessions with dinah

combat boots

dick tries to teach him roblox but he doesn't get it

motorcycle

the smiths

"stop saying it smells like wrong dog"

M'gann₊˚ପ⊹

baking at 1am

blackberries

gracie abrams

smells like sugar cookies

philosophy soaps

pompompurin

dti

sundresses

bath bombs

carly rae jepson

pulling connor into the kitchen to help her

everyone's pookie

pinterest and we heart it

audio books

lip gloss

turned martian manhunter into a girl dad

loves to listen to raquel while she proof reads her essays

daisies

always offering to make tea

Raquel₊˚ପ⊹

submitting projects at 11:59pm

glitter pens

obscure conspiracy videos at 3am

studying in cafes

stargazing

follows nasa

pilates with the team

angry birds

rocky road ice cream

girls night out where something illegal happens

always has glitter on her

cheering up her friends

updates her snap story when smth wild happens

pop music

french vanilla

kickboxing

podcasts

loves fish food much to kaldur's dismay

thought kaldur had autism swag for the longest time (he's just not human)

late night drives and loud music

[peterm4rker]

(𐙚⋆.˚) ghost of you

🕸🕷✮⋆ [taeyong x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 1.8k w. death, mention of drunk driving, grief, alcohol consumption, lmk if you find any more! angst ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

hey siri! play "ghost of you" by the 5 seconds of summer

january 27th, 2025 - 6:48pm

hey baby, i've been trying to reach you but i'm guessing you fell asleep... anyways, i have to go now, but i'll call you tomorrow, same time as always… i love you and i miss you more than i could even express. you’re my everything, remember that always… i’ll talk to you soon, okay? i'm dying to hear your voice… i love you so much, rest well my love.

january 28th, 2025 - 7:02am

yn? please answer me… your mom just called and i- this is some type of sick joke, isn't it? i refuse to believe it, i know you're just asleep, you’ll call me tomorrow, right? please, i just… i need to hear your voice again, i need to know you’re safe. i love you, baby, please be okay, please, please be okay.

january 29th, 2025 - 6:37pm

doyoung called me yesterday. uhm, when the phone rang i thought it was you for a second, i even saw your name on the screen… i guess not sleeping does that to a person. he told me he went to see your mom at your house and that he didn’t want to believe it either… we all love you so much, you know, and we miss you even though you’re barely gone... i’m going to my superipr’s office today, i need to go home to see you one last time… i love you, you’re forever my everything and i hope you know that.

january 30th, 2025 - 6:34pm

hey, baby. i got back home last night… everything is just the way you left it. i can still feel you here, i couldn’t even move to your side of the bed. there's a half drunk coffee cup on the table, it has your lipstick on it still… am i wrong for not wanting to wash it yet? i know it’s a little disgusting, but i can't get rid of it, not yet at least… anyways, i’m going to your brother’s house today to check up on him, your mom says he wont talk to anyone… i hope he’ll talk to me. i love you, baby, i miss you.

february 3rd, 2025 - 6:39pm

i dreamt of you last night, it was the first time i’ve gotten more than a single hour of sleep since you… since you left. you were there like you have been ever since i met you in that practice room so long ago. you remember that, right? when you dropped hyuck off and i spilled my soda on you? yeah, we were back there. you told me not to worry, that everything is fine. it felt different than it did before, though, because you were crying and holding my face like you do when you try to make things better… nothing is fine, yn. you’re gone, and a world without you simply cannot be anything but fucking awful. 

february 3rd, 2025 - 6:45pm

oh, and i forgot. i went to see hyuck but i didn’t get him to talk… he was on your childhood bed, the one with the pink covers… he hasn’t gotten out of your room for anything but the bathroom, so your parents are very worried. i’m gonna try to make it better, okay? i’ll help him because i know it’s destroying you to watch this from up there… i love you, always.

february 5th, 2025 - 6:33pm

hey, my love. i just got off the phone with my superior… he said i can stay home and we’ll issue when i can resume my service. i begged him to let me go back, you know… i need to be okay, i need to be busy so i don't think about you every second of every day; but he said i need to grieve in peace, so now i'm stuck here again. i’m staying with doyoung because every time i step foot at our house i feel like i’m dying inside, although i told him it’s because it’s closer to your parents, just in case they need me. i know he knows the truth, but i have to be strong, you know? they all lost you too. i love you, ill talk to you soon.

february 7th, 2025 - 3:56am

why did you have to leave me, yn? why did you decide to walk when you knew hyuck could take you to work? why on earth did you do that? i’m so mad, not only at you, but at everything. i’m mad because you shouldn’t have walked, i’m mad because some fucking asshole decided to drunk drive at five in the fucking afternoon. i’m mad because i wasn’t there… i should’ve been there to push you out of the way and then maybe it would be you sitting here at home feeling like nothing makes any sense anymore. you should be here, with me, dancing around the kitchen like we always did when we got drunk. now i’m dancing with a fucking ghost… i love you so much, but i’m so fucking mad at the world for making you leave me.

february 7th, 2025 - 6:47pm

hey angel… uhm, i’m sorry for this morning, i was really drunk and everything kind of came crashing down on me… i’m cleaning up right now because i left a mess when i came back. i shattered the coffee cup and your lipstick is gone, which made me cry like a fucking baby… i also found my old zeppelin shirt, the one you stole the first night you ever slept over. i remember you sent me a picture of you wearing it the day of the accident, it’s even my wallpaper still… but yeah, i miss you, baby, and i’m not mad at you.

february 20th, 2025 - 6:32pm

hi baby, sorry i haven’t reached out in so long, i’ve been busy trying to get my shit together… i talked to your brother today, i finally got him out of the house and we went to the park. we ate those coconut ice creams you liked so much and sat by fred the statue, hyuck cried the entire time. we talked about you, all the happy memories and how fucking funny you were, always cheering us up in our worst moments… we also talked about the big fight we had when he found out we were dating. remember that? he tried to fist fight me when he was 14 even though i was so much bigger than him. i guess he was right then, though. we were too young and dumb to know things like love. but I know better now, and i have loved you ever since the very first second i saw your pretty face.

march 17th, 2025 - 6:57pm

hello, baby, long time no see… i just got out of your memorial… your parents asked me to talk because neither of them can bring themselves to, so i did and i don't think i’ve ever looked as pathetic in my life… i can’t stop crying, even now that it’s long over… everyone was here, you know, even sion and them. i think you would’ve hated it, you always despised seeing people cry… i’m taking hyuck to our house tonight. he said he needs to be surrounded by you, so he’ll stay with me until we’re both better. you should see him now, how disarmed he is… it scares me a lot, what if i don’t do as good of a job at cheering him up as you would’ve? i mean, i can’t even get myself to stop feeling like i’m being crushed, how the fuck am i supposed to help him?... i don’t know, but i promise i’ll figure it out. i love you, ynnie, forever always.

april 27th, 2025 - 6:35pm

hey ynnie, i’m back here again… it’s been four months since you left, and i’m beginning to think it won’t get better. i thought i was, really, that’s why i stopped calling. but i went out with the guys today, and yuta broke down because he saw your name in his contacts… we all miss you so fucking much, yn. it feels like a huge part of life is missing without you by my side and it’s drowning me. i feel like i’m holding onto you like an anchor in the middle of the ocean, but i don’t want to let go… i don’t know how to. i miss you every single day; when i walk through the market, when i clean, when i watch tv. you’re fucking everywhere, and i don’t know how to appreciate that yet, it just makes me feel worse than i already do. still, it’s not your fault… nothing ever was and now nothing ever will be. i love you, just as much as i always have. 

may 16th, 2025 - 6:46pm

hey, my love. uhm, this will be the last message for a while, okay? i started going to the therapist, and he said it might be better for me to find another outlet than this one… i think he might be right, i don’t know what i’ll do the day this number gets reassigned… anyways, i wanted to let you know, even when i know you’re watching me from wherever you are. i love you, yn. i want you to know that even if you’re not here for me to tell you. i love you, i love you, i love you, i will never stop loving you.

january 27th, 2026 - 6:48pm

hey, ynnie… it’s been a while, huh? i know you’re probably scolding me from up there for calling this number again after so long, but i need you to understand me on this one. i don’t call with hopes that you’ll answer anymore, i gave up on that a long time ago… i found other ways to talk to you, and i’m sure you know that because i’ve seen the way your star flickers sometimes when i go talk to you every night. everything is better, as you know. haechan is back on his feet, he’s touring again with dream… he’s shining again, and i know it’s because you’re right by his side… your parents are better too, your dad is smiling again. everybody's learning how to live without you, even though we hate it so much… anyways, it’s very fitting that you sent that new dance coach today, she kind of reminds me of you. the boy’s said the same thing, too. still, she’s not you. and i know that’s not fair, no one could ever be you or even close… but still, it makes me miss you even more... dancing is starting to make me happy again, though my feet don't dance like they did with you... well, this turned into a pretty long message, i’m sorry for that, i’ll leave you to it and talk to you tonight, okay? i love you so much, rest well my love.

★ blue's corner ;; hey... im sorry ! i wanted to start the year with something special, and taeyong is the answer to everything in my life... i'm also forever in love with 5sos and this song in particular so i hope you enjoyed !! ★ taglist ;; @neozon3nha @winwintea @spacejip @dudekiss3r @yizhrt @lyvhie @morkiee @astrasng @taroddori ★ back to the masterlist. ★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!! ★ divider by @roseraris

© peterm4rker, 2025

[shiraishi--kanade]

That part I mentioned is just one of the sub things about her character. Deep in the crevices that stuck with me after kick it up a notch. Just a little interesting footnote in her character that I cannot get rid of. (I've tried)

Sorry, but no. This isn't a small part, it's just not something that's true. An wants to be like Nagi, that is correct; Kohane "took" the role of Nagi post KIUAN, that is also correct. Between themselves? They're not connected. That's something the fandom made up. An has multiple spanning arcs wrt An and Kohane; An's tension with being like Nagi is mostly resolved in her WLE chapter with An gaining the resolve to go beyond Nagi's skill, and is scarsely brought up again in that specific context. An's tension with Kohane's growing skills and anxiety is resolved in WTWG. But specifically "An wants to be like Nagi and Kohane is more like Nagi than An is so that's an issue"? Not a thing. That's a fanon. OOC fanon. One I'm admittedly guilty of myself, because I thought that was the direction her story was taking after KIUAN pre-WTWG. But that's just... Not it. Not a plot point. At all. If you watch WTWG, you'll see how Kohane's KIUAN "like Nagi" moment only comes up in reference to An being anxious of not being good enough for Kohane. That's it. They may or may not have been building what you're referencing behind the scenes and decided to weer away from it, or it may still come back (which I doubt), but... It's fanon. It's not An Shiraishi in canon.

If this was a duel match between the mentor who turned his back on the mentee, then people would see it differently. Which I won't say it is, but there are some similarities.

If this was a Kohane vs Taiga match, it would be narratively pointless. Taiga tried to achieve two, arguably three things with that battle:

1. Show VBS the difference in skill between what they have and what they need to put on Rad Blast;

2. Rile VBS up so they don't give up after hearing about Nagi, because he knows that VBS thrive best when they're put against the impossible odds;

3. Test An's resolve specifically and make her reflect on her bond with Nagi with the way be singles her out.

That's it. That's all he wanted out of it.

Taiga singling out Kohane would achieve... Which point out of all that exactly? Taiga's not a villain, he is, at most, an antagonistic force/anti-hero. He has a very clear motivation no matter if you want to argue against that method. I barely care if people would see that plot twist in a different light if they struggle to understand his plot when it's already this simple. Not to mention it would be, again, pointless and achieve nothing, and be a blatant character assassination for Taiga. Hell, he's not even turned against VBS! He wants them to succeed! Him temporarily antagonising him is neither a heel-turn nor the trope in question! He also singles out An during the battle, again; not Kohane. It's not about Kohane, here.

Anyways back to the rap battle thing. There's less thought of love there compared to Niigo's making of music to save and WxS's making shows to spread joy to others and them raising.

[...] So there's less act of love and more despair since a death just got revealed.

I don't follow. I mean sure, the themes are different, but I don't bring up N25 and WxS to ask "why are they more popular", I bring them up to say "these units can do the most batshit plots ever and they will be taken earnestly vs VBS". We could joke about WxS starting the disbandment arc while literally stuck on a tropical island. But we barely ever do. Everything else is irrelevant to my point.

Secondly, if you want to argue love, LuTF shows up plenty of it. Even episode 3 is Taiga's last hurrah to Radder and his dead sister. It's about perspective.

Like I don't know dude, they made us attached to Nagi and then killed her off for plot reasons of course that's gonna stick more even if batshit insane stuff happens after.

Nobody killed Nagi off for plot reasons, she's always been dead. Nagi has been dead two years before the story began, and it wouldn't have happened without her dying. She's doomed by the narrative and she's also haunting it. There's no character in Project Sekai that would fit it better. That'd a tangent, I just hate that term being used for Nagi specifically. Kanade's mon got killed off for plot reasons, I agree with. Nagi, no.

Either that's a good sign of story writing or a sign that the people that stick to it just has a thing about it.

It's the shock factor; LUtF is the second most watched event in PJSK after Mizu5. But it says nothing about the writing, because if it were, we'd be here gushing about how sweet RADder dynamic was, or how good Episode 7 has been. No, and sorry, I think most people fucking dropped the event the moment we got to the flashback because they don't care.

You know what the LUTF hate is an indicator of? No media literacy, no willingness to engage with the story and a horrible sense of humor. That's it. Which is what this post is about.

I've decided I'm gatekeeping Light Up the Fire from all the people who don't understand what Fiction means

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.

[royalarchivist]

Quackity: These past days I've been in many calls, and I'm not done yet. I've spoken to a lot of people and creators. I've read your comments and I'm well aware of what needs to be done to carry out this project. I want to tell you all, beforehand, that for me the team's well-being is fundamental. I'm very involved in this topic to sort it out and I want to make that very clear. I want to tell you something... I want to tell you all that the administrative staff responsible for so much harm to the project has been fired. Specifically, those who made decisions without my permission, affecting the administrative and financial area of the project. Consequently, after this, I was in charge of doing a financial analysis that's carrying out for the QSMP.

Guys, to be really honest, it was not going to last. Therefore, I've had to make deep drastic structural changes that have lead me to reduce the performance of the server down to the most essential, and this is in order to ensure the well being of everyone involved in it. Having said this, I want to give a very important update: I want to let you all know that the QSMP will have to slow down temporarily. This is to ensure this new structure adapts to the project, because it's a restructuring that's taking place. I'm letting you know, and I reiterate, there are no voluntary positions inside the QSMP.

At the moment, there will not be any more individual update accounts of all 5 existing languages in the project. In any case, during this transition, there's going to be a temporal absence of all Eggs and NPCs. I know these are difficult changes, and I repeat, it's temporary until we adjust to these new conditions that will improve the performance of this new structure that's being made from scratch, both in the administrative and financial part. I'd like to reintegrate people fro the QSMP as time goes by if a financial viability can be found for the project Taking advantage of this update to tell you guys that within the changes of the server as it is, creators will have full control of their lore and stories. The team will not intervene in the way that it was being done. Moreover, efforts will be made to change the competitive dynamics inside the game so as to ease up the game style for the creators. Like I'm saying, all of these changes, and more, are being carrying out to have the project as best as possible, and they're being done little by little. This is a whole new structure that will ensure the best continuity and experience for the creators, the community and the team behind.

Guys, I want to make very clear that this is restructuring process, and again, it's not a fast one. The server being open does not mean everything's perfect, I understand that very well. Conversations will keep taking place, communication will continue and the constant improvement of the project as well. I ask, please, for everyone's patience and understanding regarding all changes. Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread. I want to tell you all something- if you don't trust in these changes or have many doubts about it, and don't want to consume any more of the project's content, I understand 100%. I have a personal commitment with the QSMP and I will work until it functions in the way it is supposed to do.

Lastly, I want to let you know that it was being worked on for months on finalizing the integration of Korean creators to the QSMP. For that reason, tomorrow we will be welcoming the new Korean creators of the QSMP, of course, taking into account all the changes I've just mentioned. I hope you can give the new Korean members warm welcome to the project. And as you know, their schedules are earlier. For everyone who would like to watch, they will be joining at 11am Mexico time and at 9am US time. Basically, I wanted to give that update regarding everything that's being done within the project. Again, thank you for your patience and understanding- these are necessary changes and I'm glad they're being done now. And many more things will keep being adjusted.

via @QuackitySubs