#there was an attempt to draw movie accurate sarah

[small-insomniac]

My prediction for the Chief x Sarah romance from the Dog Man Movie leaks.

Bonus:

[i-believe-n-sherlock-holmes]

What is Reality?

So, I spent the morning typing out this long, detailed response to a post by @possiblyimbiassed​ concerning therapists in the show being representations of Sherlock - hit the post button - and found Tumblr ate it. Yep, it disappeared into the ether. That’s... fine. Probably didn’t belong on that post anyways since it went down a completely different track, but here is an abbreviated version of what I concluded:

We have always been in TAB/S4 hell and just didn’t realise it. 

It all began to break down when I tried to discern the point of view we are seeing the story from - or who the author is. This is a story about John - we begin with him, and he is ‘the blogger’ (and original author of the Sherlock Holmes stories) so we might naturally conclude he is the storyteller here, but then that conclusion quickly breaks down the first time we see Sherlock. We see Sherlock before John meets him. John has no way of knowing about Sherlock beating a corpse and rejecting Molly’s advances, so how are we seeing that if John is the author? Lest you think that John made this up from Sherlock’s comment about leaving the riding crop in the morgue and his interaction with Molly when she brings him coffee 1) that would be amazing because we have never seen anything to indicate this level of imagination from John 2) his stories on his blog are not anywhere near as detailed, fantastic and elaborate as this moment and the show on whole 3) that is a pretty twisted conclusion for John to draw about what a man he just met was doing with a riding crop in a morgue - not something one would just guess. Also consider that John would never have known (and is unlikely to have ever been able to get an accurate account from Sherlock given the way we see them interact) about what really happened between Sherlock and Jefferson Hope when they were alone. 

So maybe Sherlock was the narrator? Well, then there are several scenes that he didn’t witness and can’t have possibly known about (like the entire first part of the story where we are shown what John’s life is like beforehand) and what happened with Donovan and Mycroft. Likewise, it seems very unlikely that Sherlock would have been able to devise John’s very novel reaction to Sherlock being with the killer. I mean, one would not typically think that an experienced soldier with ‘nerves of steel’ (as Sherlock himself says) would panic and go running through the building screaming Sherlock’s name which would both alert the killer that he was coming and alert the cleaners that someone is in the building who shouldn’t be. Not a reaction otherwise in character thus far.

This doesn’t even go to mention that there are scenes that neither character could have seen or known about. We see Jennifer Wilson and several of the other victims right before their demise and we have to conclude that those scenes are either seen through the eyes of an omnipresent/omnipotent (all seeing/ all knowing) author or through the killer’s eyes.

OK, so maybe it is a story told from the omnipresent/omnipotent perspective? Well, then that doesn’t explain the shared consciousness between the characters. Again, I’ll point you to the first scene, if we only see what happens to John because we are “omini” then how does Sherlock know about what happened to John to play out a very close echo of that original telling of exactly what happened to John before they met in his TAB MindPalace drug dream. Another glaring instance of this is the whole “dragon slayer” term, which is first mentioned when Sherlock and Mycroft are alone together, then Mary calls Sherlock the same thing when she’s alone with him, then John uses the term - none of them should know what the other has said.

So reality is broken from the start. 

Why?

Well, this is where things really make your mind explode. 

So in the 2nd episode when John returns from his interview with Sarah, Sherlock says that he had asked John for a pen when John was gone and John concludes that Sherlock ‘didn’t notice’ he was gone. We might be tempted to take John’s assessment at face value and think that Sherlock was too distracted or self-absorbed to have noticed John left, but we have been given an evolving perspective on what that moment really means. Over time, we’ve learned that Sherlock actually sees a version of John in his alternate reality (MindPalace) where he talks to John and John helps him solve things. And sometimes (like when he tries to replace John with Molly as an assistant in solving crimes) that alternate reality spills over and he hears John’s disembodied voice taunting him in Reality. So, what we have from this little moment in episode 2 is the clear indication that, at times, Sherlock cannot discern Reality from his Alternate Reality. Yet, as things evolve, we (as a viewer) often move with Sherlock seamlessly between these two realities that, in their own right, seem equally real except that the location of one might be a bit extraordinary or Sherlock exhibits extraordinary qualities to manipulate the Alternate Reality - cluing us in that it is “not reality”. 

Two realities. Bleeding between them. Funkiness in both of them. What does this sound like? Well, it sounds a lot like TAB, doesn’t it? And what did we find out in the end of TAB. Neither reality was Real. 

So, what does this mean? What part of what we see is Sherlock’s hallucinations or alternate reality and what is Real?

Maybe this moment in episode 2 and Dr. Frankland’s and Culvertson’s drugs that make people hallucinate and lose memories are hints that Sherlock has been drugged from near the beginning and was seeing things and/or losing time since the 2nd episode. All reality is suspect because we are shown Sherlock’s internal world along with the rest - but some it Real.

Maybe, Sherlock really did take Jefferson Hope’s pill before John could reach him and, instead of dying, he slipped into a coma like-state and everything after that point was like TAB where he created two realities (a MindPalace and a Real World) and he keeps slipping between the two, but neither are Real.

Maybe nothing is real and from the beginning it is all in Sherlock’s head. From that first episode we see perspectives that don’t make sense from any one point of view and there is a collective consciousness that can’t be explained unless there is a narrator that has full control of all the characters and so every character has the potential to know what other characters have said or done (since they are all just fabrications). 

Perhaps, it will be explained with something akin to the movie Ghost Stories (which, interestingly enough, Martin Freeman plays the doctor) where Sherlock has been ‘locked-in’ his own mind (in a coma-like state) this whole time and has simply been “setting the stage” with the people from his hospital setting who seep into his imagined world (John is really his doctor, Sarah and Mary are nurses that Dr. Watson seems to flirt with, Lestrade is the kindly janitor, Billy is the anesthesiologist, etc., etc.). And, if you have ever had your mind play a trick on you by reinterpreting something you hear or feel from reality (like your alarm clock going off or your cat sitting on your chest) into something that can fit into your dream, then you can begin to imagine how Sherlock could be reinterpreting things from Reality into his coma-like state. John really has saved his life so many times and so many ways (as his doctor). The gunshot wound literally was surgery. They really did have to restart his heart. When he is walking around on walls and everything is falling apart, they’ve got him drugged up and are moving him between beds (which would give the strange sense of weightlessness), etc., etc. Maybe there is a telly on his room that is playing documentaries (about Chinese pottery and the Van Bueren Supernova) and news (about Chinese gangs, bombings, murders) and infomercials (featuring Connie and Kenny Price) and kids shows (featuring Richard Brooks) and the occasional Bond and horror movie. And, as his health deteriorates, so does his imagined reality, until he is torturing himself with his past and everyone is both a mirror of himself and an enemy. 

The last possibility is the saddest interpretation of all the facts because it is quite possible that if in a S5 Sherlock does manage to wake up, the relationship between him and John is not nearly as deep as he imagined it to be and is, in fact, (if Sherlock is just a patient) non-existent. It could even be that Sherlock put himself into that state when he was a young man, overdosing due to his attempt to escape some childhood trauma. If so, then he might not even be consulting detective. It is also possible that the image that Sherlock projects of himself isn’t at all close to reality but more who he wishes he was. Perhaps, he is more like Billy, extremely clever underneath it all (able to deduce John) but looks and speaks in a way where no one would listen to him or pay attention to him in Reality.

What is reality? 

It could be very, very different and jarring.

  @ebaeschnbliah, @sarahthecoat, @sagestreet, @raggedyblue, @possiblyimbiassed, @sherlockshadow,

[davidternst]

Rambo 4

Sixty-year-old John Rambo ekes out a living on a longboat on the Salween River in Thailand. A team of short-term missionaries asks him to take them upriver and across the border into Myanmar to deliver Bibles and medical supplies to a remote village. Rambo at first refuses, but changes his mind after a personal plea by hot blonde Sarah (Julie Benz). Clearly there is mutual attraction between Rambo and Sarah, which is probably why Michael, the group's leader and Sarah's fiance, treats Rambo like dirt. They cross the border and are boarded by river pirates. The pirates make clear their intent to gang-rape Sarah (the only woman) and massacre everyone else. Rambo, being Rambo, springs into action and kills all the pirates himself. Michael haughtily tells Rambo that they are on a non-violent mission and would he please let them go ashore and continue the journey over land (Michael is a doctor and Sarah describes him as a compassionate man, but we never see any of this compassion in the movie). The missionaries reach the village and there is a fairly accurate representation of them doing what short-term missionaries do before government troops kill all the villagers and take the missionaries as captives. Ten days later, the pastor of their church approaches Rambo and asks him to take a band of mercenary soldiers into Myanmar and rescue the missionary team. This was the part of the movie that I found really hard to believe, based on my experience with church fund-raising. In just 10 days the pastor of some church in Colorado is able to raise enough money to send a half-dozen mercenaries on a near-suicidal trip to rescue people who very likely are already dead. Really? That must be some megachurch. And there you have just the setup for the movie's real action: Rambo and the mercenaries taking on an entire army. Guess who wins?

This movie has been criticized for mixing horrific real-world violence with Rambo's superheroics. In fact, the film does attempt to draw attention to the plight of the Karen people of Myanmar. The Karen (or Kaiyin) are an ethnic minority (about 7 percent of the total population) whose rebel faction has been fighting the government of Myanmar (or Burma, as it was once known) since 1949. From 15 to 25 percent of the Karen are Christians (the rest are Buddhists/animists). Karen Christians are doubly targets of persecution, since the Myanmar government is aggressively anti-Christian as well. Many of the atrocities depicted in the film are based on actual incidents. The point of the film seems to be that you need warriors to protect the innocent and allow missions of peace to continue.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Compare & Contrast: Carousel vs Guys And Dolls

A dear departed friend of mine loved Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II’s Carousel, and he was far from the only person to do so.

Ever since it opened in 1945, Carousel has been a perennial favorite, revived countless times on Broadway and regional theaters, adapted into a film, and chockablock with memorable numbers and well crafted scenes.  “If I Loved You,” “June Is Bustin’ Out All Over,” and the big hit from the show, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” have been covered by thousands of artists and are in repertoires all over the world.

I can understand the fondness for the songs, and the admiration for the quality of the writing, but Carousel itself as a story?

This is one of the vilest pieces of crap penned.

Based on the play Liliom by the Hungarian playwright and poet Ferenc Molnár, Carousel is the story of Billy Bigelow, a self-destructive idiot who diminishes the lives of those around him simply by existing.

Molnár’s original play doesn’t dodge that bullet, and it ends with the protagonist being led off to eternal punishment while his dim-witted widow waxes nostalgic over him, despite the fact he abused her, never supported her, and left her in the lurch to bear and raise their daughter after he was killed in botched robbery.

Given a chance to redeem himself by performing one good deed for his daughter, Liliom (Hungarian for “lily” but also slang for a street thug) botches even that simple task and so gets dragged off to the fate he well deserves, the fate he quite deliberately and exquisitely fashioned for himself over the course of the play.

Small wonder those who adapted it to stage and screen typically sought a means of mitigating Liliom’s fate, to give one last ray of hope instead of following the story through to its grim but wholly logical conclusion.

Of all the adaptations that tinkered with Liliom, Carousel is by far the most egregious. It explicitly endorses spouse and child abuse as acts of endearment, Billy Bigelow (the Americanized Liliom) being a prideful, arrogantly ignorant sociopath who cares only for himself, and despite the vain promise of “You’ll never walk alone,” his daughter and wife are compelled to suffer all their lives for his sins and shortcomings.

He brings his daughter a star from heaven which even in the context of the story doesn’t mean anything; it’s just a gaudy trinket that can be and ultimately is ignored.

Geeze, a Marvel movie would at least see the kid get some superpowers out of the deal…

And if such a thing is possible, the 1956 film adaptation is even worse than the stage play:   It begins with Billy in heaven, gainfully employed polishing stars, no need to either account or atone for his earthly behavior.  His return to Earth is just to help his daughter out, not redeem his terrible behavior with a single good act, and in that context he’s more trouble than he’s worth.

One’s tempted to call Billy Bigelow a worthless sac of human excrement, but that’s not accurate: Excrement has use as a fertilizer.

Billy Bigelow is a 55-gallon drum of toxic waste, poisoning all it comes in contact with.

The key plot elements of the stage play are this:   Billy Bigelow, carousel barker, gets fired by his jealous boss, Mrs. Mullin, when she sees him flirting with young mill worker Julie Jordan.  Julie loses her job as well because of her infatuation with Billy, and the two marry impetuously.  

A month later and he’s still found no work due to his refusal to return as Mrs. Mullin’s barker or take any other job that requires him to answer to a boss.  He’s drunk and abusive, and while the stage play raises the issue that Julie should leave, it just as quickly subsumes it with Julie’s "he's your feller and you love him" attitude.

When a disreputable pal, Jigger, suggests they rob Julie’s old boss, Billy first refuses (though he doesn’t warn anyone of Jigger’s criminal intent), but when he learns Julie’s pregnant, launches into the most odious song in the show:  “Soliloquy”

“Soliloquy” is a schmaltz fest that most people choose to hear as a loving father doting over his unborn child.

It’s not.

It’s a sociopath’s love song to himself.

Billy Bigelow does not care what is truly best for his son, he only cares about vicariously enjoying success through the boy, and not through the boy’s own efforts and desires but by shaping him into a mirror image of his father, a toy for him to manipulate and play with.

Almost all the careers he imagines for the boy are the kind of low level manual labor jobs that he’s only fit for, the exceptions being carnival barker and President of the United States (which he disdains).

“Bill, my boy Bill I will see that he is named after me, I will. My boy, Bill! He'll be tall And tough as a tree, will Bill! Like a tree he'll grow With his head held high And his feet planted firm on the ground And you won't see nobody dare to try To boss or toss him around! No pot-bellied, baggy-eyed bully Will boss him around.”

He even fantasizes about teaching his unborn son how to seduce girls…then realizes to his horror that his “son” maybe be a daughter.

“My little girl Pink and white As peaches and cream is she My little girl Is half again as bright As girls are meant to be! Dozens of boys pursue her Many a likely lad does what he can to woo her From her faithful dad She has a few Pink and white young fellers of two or three But my little girl Gets hungry every night and she comes home to me!”

That’s pretty damn sick.

Bigelow, perfectly willing to raise a proto-rapist male, doesn’t want the shame of having a victim for a daughter, and thinking the only way he can protect her is by buying her a higher station in life, decides to help Jigger rob Julie’s ex-boss.

Even there he’s a punk, not willing to do anything directly to threaten the old man, but perfectly willing to share in the proceeds of Jigger’s crime.  (He’s also an idiot insofar has he had a nasty confrontation with the intended victim about a month earlier and apparently presumes the old man won’t remember him.)

But he’s not done destroying himself and Julie’s future and the future of their unborn child yet: While waiting in ambush, he and Jigger gamble, betting their anticipated shares of the loot.

Billy loses all his shares!

There is no point to him participating in the robbery.

There is no reason to help Jigger any further except arrogant pride.

They attempt to rob the old man, the old man draws a gun, Jigger flees, and Billy, rather than face the consequences, takes the coward’s way out and kills himself.

His daughter grows up being scorned and taunted by other children for having a father who was a stupid brute and a thief and a suicide, and as cruel as that is, who’s fault is it but Billy’s?

It was his choices that put her in that predicament, his pride, his arrogance, his lack of character and courage and imagination.

And Carousel celebrates this; it doesn’t pity Billy but rather feels sorry for him.

This is the difference:  Pity can recognize the suffering of another person yet still recognize that person’s responsibility in bringing tragedy upon themselves; feeling sorry for someone negates the harm they have inflicted on others.

Billy deserves nothing. Julie deserves nothing -- she enabled this tragedy.

Only the daughter deserves sympathy and a second chance, Carousel’s climax is arbitrarily tacked on to give a fake happy ending and is as phony as a three dollar bill printed on a Xerox machine running low on toner.

Liliom and Carousel are tragedies, but only Liliom has the courage and clear vision to recognize it.

Compare and contrast with Guys And Dolls, the 1950 Damon Runyon musical by Frank Loesser, Jo Swerling, and Abe Burrows.

Like Carousel, it’s a crowd pleaser:   Plenty of great scenes, lots of great numbers like “A Bushel And A Peck”, “Adelaide’s Lament”, “Luck Be A Lady”, “Sue Me”, “Sit Down (You’re Rocking The Boat)”, and “Guys And Dolls” itself.

It’s got a better structure than Carousel:   A common convention in Broadway musicals is to have a main couple that the show focuses on and a supporting couple to offer a counterpoint to the main action.

One could eliminate the supporting couple in Carousel and, while the show would be diminished, it would not change the story of Billy and Julie.

But Guys And Dolls thoroughly integrates the stories of Sky Masterson and Sergeant Sarah Brown with that of Nathan Detroit and Adelaide:  Remove either couple and the entire show collapses.

And of special interest is this:   While Sky and Nathan are gamblers and by association at least peripheral members of the underworld, they are also men of personal integrity (Nathan less so than Sky, granted, but it’s still there).

Nathan is trying to stage “the oldest established permanent floating crap game in New York” in the face of intense police scrutiny not for his personal benefit alone, but so he provide for his crew and so he can finally marry Adelaide, the show girl he’s been engaged to for 14 years.

Sky is riding on top of the world, a superstar among gamblers, a man who doesn’t need anything…

…yet at the same time is acutely aware of a large vacuum in his heart.

The story’s hilarious, with all sorts of outrageous characters and plot twists, but it rings far truer than Carousel because for all their flaws, the characters are trying to better themselves not for their own good but so they can better the lives of others.

This is a crucial difference between them and Billy Bigelow.  The characters of Guys And Dolls may be foolish on occasion, but they ain’t dumb, they know the score, and more importantly, they know themselves.

The show’s songs are rich with self-awareness, and while the characters take risks -- they’re gamblers, after all -- they aren’t stupid self-destructive risks that will harm others.

Sky and Nathan, in fact, demonstrate a willingness to sacrifice themselves for others, and accept the consequences for their own actions.

More importantly, they are willing to change in order to better help the women they love, and that change comes without regret but rather with (again!) the self-awareness that their happiness is intrinsically wrapped up in the happiness of the person they love.

No song better sums it up than “Guys And Dolls” itself:

“When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky You can bet that he's doing it for some doll. When you spot a John waiting out in the rain Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane. When you meet a gent paying all kinds of rent For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal. Call it sad, call it funny. But it's better than even money That the guy's only doing it for some doll.”

The song closes with as direct a repudiation of Billy Bigelow as we could hope for:

“When a lazy slob takes a goody steady job, And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol. Call it dumb, call it clever Ah, but you can get odds forever That the guy's only doing it for some doll!”

 © Buzz Dixon

[selenekallanwriter]

CHAPTER 1

DAHLIA

Night was falling.

I looked out the bus window, not really seeing anything; my mind was still reeling with memories of what happened that afternoon. Despite my damp hoodie and jeans, I wasn’t cold. Nick had his arm around my shoulders, pressing me against his warm body. I ventured a look to his face, his skin was pale, hazel eyes lost. He was more numb than me; the rage had turned into shock.

How else could he feel?

To know his adoptive brother and cousin—David—had murdered the first girl he’d ever loved while almost killing me was bad enough.

Things got worse when we discovered that his aunt—and adoptive mother—Sarah, had known the truth and hid it from him. And everything had gone to hell when his entire family had turned against me. Just because I am different.

Well, maybe different is a bit of an understatement.

A supernatural hybrid creature who feeds on the life-force and energy of others to survive would be more accurate. A succubus, half-vampire. That vampire half made Nick’s family want to tear me apart, quite literally since they were lycanthropes. Turns out movies weren’t that off. Some vampires and lycanthropes hate each other and make their life goal to chase and murder one another. One more testament to my rotten luck was that I had to run into 3 of them.

It didn’t have to be that way, Nick was also a lycanthrope, and he had learned to accept me despite the prejudices. He’d seen me as a friend and not a monster. Together we had learned that most of what he believed about my kind were lies. Eventually, friendship and understanding had turned into something stronger, something dangerous for both of us and those I cared for—my human adoptive family, Jenna, Cassie, and Brian. Innocent to the reality of my true nature. What would Jenna think when days went by and I didn’t return home?

The bus shook as it stopped; Nick straightened, blinking back into focus. His eyes looking for mine as the numbness faded, his emotions a turmoil much like mine. The other passengers were getting out of the bus.

I squeezed his warm hand. “We should get going.”

He swallowed hard and nodded, sliding his arm off my shoulders to take my hand and guide me to walk behind him. Always protecting me, even though he was fully aware of my powers.

“Wait,” I said. The smell of smog and the noise of the vehicles welcomed us as we stepped outside. “We should walk to the train station.”

He turned to me, his athletic 6-foot-3 frame towering over me. “I don’t have enough cash with me to pay for train tickets.”

I felt his anger and shame when admitting that. We had run away with nothing more than our mud-stained clothes and barely enough money to pay for the bus ride.

“I know,” I assured him. “I have a bag with some cash and clothes stashed in the train station.”

He nodded, and we made our way through the busy streets. His nervous vigilance of our surroundings echoed mine through our tangled fingers. I was an Empath, able to sense the moods and intentions of anyone around me; touch amplified that power. One of my several powers.

“Where were you planning to go?” I asked, hating the silence.

His mouth twitched. “I hadn’t planned that far ahead, to be honest. I just feel… restless.” He looked at me, attempting a faint smile. “But I’m sure you already knew that.”

My smile faltered too.

We walked hastily to the train station. The buzz of the many emotions surrounding me made me uneasy. I hated crowded places with a passion. The inside of the station was worse than the streets, and my stomach knotted. Nick let go of my hand, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly, allowing me to lead the way.

He stood beside me vigilantly while I fidgeted with the combination to open the locker. I felt sweet relief when I saw my bag there, as I had left it. Many months before I had considered running away, leaving my adoptive family behind—fearing to hurt them. But something had stopped me, and I had stayed in the small town of Lakeport with them.

“Ready,” I said once I had retrieved my belongings.

Nick nodded, leading us outside with his hand in mine. His uncertainty and despair echoed mine, rising and falling like waves in the ocean.

“I think it might be a good idea to rest,” he said. We stood on the sidewalk moving aside from the crowded entrance. “We need to clear our heads.”

“Just what I was thinking,” I admitted. “We can check into a hotel nearby and get a shower and some sleep.”

“How are you feeling? I should have asked before,” Nick whispered, taking my chin in his hand. He examined my right cheekbone, the one that had David had cracked a few hours before.

An involuntary shiver ran through me as I remembered how David had kicked me until several of my ribs broke. “Completely healed.”

Nick cocked a brow. “Dahlia.”

I sighed, he knew me too well for my sake. “A minor discomfort, nothing I can’t handle.”

He traced his thumb on my chin, and the world disappeared from sight. He had chosen me over his family, risked his life to save me. I had only one word for the feeling that bubbled between us, overpowering the raging fears and concern.

He leaned forward and pressed his warm lips on my forehead. “Let’s go.”

His warm breath tickled over my cool skin as I looked up at him. “Okay.”

The receptionist had given us a once over until I paid in cash. The hotel wasn’t exactly fancy, but it was good, and we looked like hell. The cream-colored room was simple, with two single beds, a bathroom, and a window instead of a balcony.

I dropped the bag on the bed near the door.

“Take the one further from the door,” Nick said. “Just in case.”

Just in case a bunch of crazy lycans tried to kill us.

“Okay,” I moved to the other bed and opened the bag, offering him one of my oversize hoodies.

He took it, looking at his green, mud-stained shirt. “Thanks.”

“You go first,” I suggested pointing to the bathroom. He agreed wordlessly and closed the bathroom door behind him.

I let myself fall back on the bed, closing my eyes as I expanded my senses, looking for impending danger. I regretted it when my empathy amplified more than usual, giving me more information than necessary. A depressed female presence, a couple having sex, guilty sex at that which led me to believe they were having an affair.

Satisfied with knowing there was no danger, and disturbed by the sharpening of my power, I willed myself to focus back on us.

My heart raced as I felt Nick’s anger and sorrow reach new levels.

 NICK

The warm water did little to ease my tense muscles.

Every time I closed my eyes, flashes of memories I’d try to bury for months clouded my thoughts. Katie, the human girl I had loved broken and dead in my arms, David’s disdainful smile when I was mourning her at the funeral. His petty commentaries about how I needed to get over it. And worse than that, Sarah echoing the same, trying to force me to forget Katie, knowing her own son had killed her.

I restrained myself from hitting the tile wall, knowing I would end up making a hole in it. How could Sarah do that? A woman I had considered a mother. How could both she and Cal let David get away with murdering a 16-year-old girl? Why was David so hellbent on killing those I love?

If I hadn’t pulled him off Dahlia early that afternoon… Dahlia was strong, and a decent fighter, but not a match for a lycanthrope with years of training and brutal strength. Not even I was a match for David. We took him down together; I doubted we could’ve done so separately.

“We will have plenty of time to kill it,” Sarah had snarled, referring to Dahlia.

Never. I would rather die right than before allowing them to hurt her.

I did my best to wash the green shirt in the sink. Putting on my black jeans and Dahlia’s black hoodie before stepping out.

She was sitting on the bed waiting for me, her sapphire eyes wide with worry. With her usual fluid moves, she got up and walked to stand in front of me. I pulled her close, resting my chin on the top of her head. She sighed against my chest. The pain eased when I held her in my arms, my heartbeat synchronizing with hers. The only one I could trust, my only friend.

“I’m sorry,” she said. Her melodic voice breaking.

I took her chin, prodding her to her look at me. “This is not your fault, it’s theirs and no one else’s.”

Her elegant features contorted in sadness.

She nodded and moved to get some clothes out of her black bag before entering the bathroom. I ran my fingers through my hair, sitting on the bed by the door. What were we going to do? Where would we be safe? We couldn’t go too far, we needed to make sure Dahlia’s very human adoptive family remained safe.

My eyes landed on Dahlia’s bag, wondering what she had stored there.

“Go ahead, have a look,” came her voice from the shower.

I felt a smile tug on my lips. Her empathy made it difficult to hide anything. It was almost as good as if she could read my mind.

There were some clothes, a taser, and a pair of black tennis shoes in the biggest pocket. I opened the next zipper and my jaw dropped when I saw the amount of cash stored there.

“Did you rob a bank?” I half-joked.

“Not exactly,” she replied, the water was still running. “It’s only a minor part of what mom left for me.”

The grief was clear as day in her voice. Her mother had died a few years back in a car crash; Dahlia would have died too if it weren’t for her vampire side.

Her immortal heritage.

Eager to distract myself, I counted the money; she’d tied with elastic bands in thick rolls. Different denominations. A little over $50.000.

“What did your mother do for a living?” I mused, she heard me nevertheless. The shower was turned off now.

“She was an artist, drawing, painting, she also wrote her own music.”

I lifted my head as the door opened. Dahlia was drying her short dark hair with a towel, her eyes glazed and sad.

“She also gave music lessons, persuading even the less invested kids to learn to play the piano,” her full lips lifted in a sad smile. “She made time to volunteer in a dog shelter.”

She shook her head, closing the bathroom door to sit beside me. “Being honest, I don’t know where the money came from, family inheritance was the answer I got the few times I asked.”

I closed the bag, tossing it by the nightstand; wrapping my arm around her waist.

She leaned against my shoulder with a lengthy sigh. “I can’t help but wonder if Jenna and the kids are safe,.What if your family doesn’t buy your threat?”

To keep Dahlia and her adoptive family safe, I’d threatened Cal, Sarah, and David with contacting the Jaeger—human lunatics who hunt down supernatural beings in the name of protecting humans from “demons”. A load of shit they made up centuries ago to feel better about being murderers.

I moved a lock of her hair behind her ear, the blonde roots were showing. “Cal and Sarah know I can find the hunters, there’s a sizeable group of them camouflaged as a religious congregation. One call to the hunters pretending I’m a scared human, and they’re screwed.”

“Have you ever ran into one of them?” Dahlia asked, searching for my eyes.

I swallowed, a shower of memories making way in my already troubled mind. “Yes. A group of those bastards tried to kill my real parents once. Others succeeded.”

Dahlia gasped, her eyes widening.

“We were living in this tiny village in the middle of the forest, a few human families who worked on woodcutting like father lived nearby.” Rage bubbled up, remembering. “They didn’t care if the humans fell to, they burned much of the forest and the homes trying to get us. Mom and dad stopped them and save the families. But it was awful.”

I felt Dahlia’s anger echo mine. “I’m so sorry. How old were you?”

I sighed. “3, it was one year before they died.”

Dahlia blinked, her brow furrowing. “I can remember with full clarity things that happened when I was 1-year-old, a supernatural trait I assume?”

I nodded, her eyes questioning, I knew what she didn’t want to ask aloud. “One year later the hunters killed them. In front of me. Sarah, Cal and the others saved me, but didn’t get there in time to save them.”

She caressed my cheek. There was no need for words. She tried and failed to stifle a yawn; I followed.

“Off to bed, you need to rest.”

“So do you,” she replied.

I shook my head. “I should stand guard.”

She pursed her lips. “I don’t think it’s necessary. If something is off, I’ll feel it even in my sleep.”

I was going to argue, but she cut me off. “You need to sleep too.”

She was right; I was more tired than usual and slightly sore. A sign that soon I would go through the change, becoming a complete lycanthrope. A thought I didn’t want to dwell on.

“Okay,” I relented.

We got up, she slid inside the covers; I tucked her in.

She blushed, biting her lip. “Nick? I don’t want to sleep alone.”

“Me neither,” I confessed. I turned the lights off, Dahlia’s eyes slightly shining in the darkness.

I got under the covers, her head resting on my shoulder, my arm around her waist.

“Goodnight,” I murmured, kissing the top of her head.

“Goodnight,” she whispered, placing her arm across my stomach.

______________________________________________________________

©Selene Kallan, 2020

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Why Is Painting Styles Over The Years So Famous? - Painting Styles Over The Years

In backward June, the San Francisco Lath of Education aggregate to boldness a botheration that had afresh been brought its attention. An 83-year-old, Depression-era mural on the walls of one San Francisco aerial academy had started to bother some people. Corrective by left-leaning artisan Victor Arnautoff, the 13-panel artwork in George Washington Aerial Academy had been created through a New Deal art program. Arnautoff had the assignment of painting Activity of Washington, which spanned a whopping 1,600 aboveboard feet.

Famous Self-Portraits Show Self-Portraiture Trend Throughout .. | painting styles over the years So as not to bless the aboriginal admiral excessively, Arnautoff corrective Washington continuing abreast the anatomy of a asleep Native American man, and he additionally depicts apprenticed African Americans. Today, afterwards about a century, the mural is not as advanced as it already was in the eyes of the public. “It’s consistently an affair aback anyone wants to abolish or awning or displace art,” Lath Vice Admiral Mark Sanchez said. “But there are countervailing issues we had to attending at as well. We accept acceptance shouldn’t be apparent to agitated adumbration — that it’s degrading.” The academy lath voted absolutely to abort the mural, admitting not anybody agreed with its post-woke interpretation. Aback one abecedary asked her apprentice English chic to abode either in favor of or adjoin the mural, 45 out of 49 acceptance accurate it. “The adorn shows us absolutely how barbarous colonization and genocide absolutely were and are," one apprentice wrote. "The adorn is a admonishing and admonition of the blemish of our anointed leaders.”

Expressionism | Definition, Characteristics, Artists .. | painting styles over the years Two months later, the opposing abandon accomplished a compromise: The mural would be covered up but not corrective over. Still, it will no best be seen. But why stop there? Art censors of the world, why not additionally adumbrate Francisco Goya's The Third of May 1808 or Picasso's Guernica, both amazing images of conflict? In fact, a reproduction of Guernica was briefly covered up at the United Nations added than 15 years ago during a accent about the war in Iraq. It acclimated to be that if you censored art, you had article to hide. Now, it agency you're not accessible to face reality. After decades of balustrade adjoin censorship in the arts, some liberals accept now absolutely accepted it. Statues of Southern generals and Christopher Columbus are already passé. There’s a advancing new development in art criticism amid the elites, and it has annihilation to do with whether Renoir was ist in his claimed life. Now, it’s not abundant to appraisal bent artists or their "problematic" subjects. You charge additionally angle adjoin depictions of bad things — because we are allegedly extemporaneous to see them.

Art of Europe - Wikipedia - painting styles over the years | painting styles over the years Comedian and extra Sarah Silverman abstruse this beforehand this year. She appeared in blackface during a ball account in 2007 to accomplish fun of ever woke liberals. This year, Silverman said it came aback to chaw her. “I afresh was activity to do a movie, two canicule on a movie, a absolutely candied part,” she said on a podcast this summer. “Then, at 11 p.m. the night before, they accursed me because they saw a account of me in blackface from that episode.” It didn't amount that her accomplished act was meant to accomplish fun of bodies who adeptness use blackface. Her agency were artlessly too transgressive.

My 'Hare' styles over the years in 8 | Watercolor animals .. | painting styles over the years This fashionable borderland in art censorship is additionally afflictive academia, and not aloof aerial schools. At Maryland’s Washington College, an antiracist ball was afresh canceled because it depicted “some characters dressed in KKK robes.” Because the bad guys were Ku Klux Klan members, The Foreigner, a pro-immigrant comedy, was canceled an hour afore its aftermost dress rehearsal. Heaven forbid a assignment of art characterize annihilation absolutely evil. Author Joyce Carol Oates afresh regretted that Flannery O'Connor's antiracist abbreviate adventure The Artificial N----- was afar from an album because “publishers banned it on the area of an ‘offensive’ title.” Oates explained that it was “futile to explain that O'Connor was excoriating racism, not announcement it.” Art censors may argue, as Sanchez did about the Washington mural, that examination agitated or advancing adumbration is "degrading." But there's addition botheration that art admirers face, one that is possibly the best aspersing of all: ignorance. Aback you're so abashed of behind people, you lose your adeptness to accomplish art, and aback you debris to abode evil, you lose your adeptness to stop it.

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Life Story Part 44

In early November there was a Sanborn family reunion down in Southern Idaho. My uncle Bob arrived, Marty, Uncle Steve his wife Sylvia, some cousins, my half uncle Adam. But mostly, my grandma Betty. Really, other than my uncle Bob, nobody in my dad's family took much interest in keeping in touch, but everyone knew and cared about her. I was a bit shocked, because seeing her made me realize just how old she was getting. She had been old when I knew her as a child – when she had lived upstairs and I would go to visit, reluctantly swallowing down her toxic mixture of canned peaches and cottage cheese (her favorite food), holding her hand and pressing against her thick veins under paper thin skin as we sat on the couch and watched Bob Ross together, but now she was beginning to reach a new level of feebleness and at times seemed confused over very basic facts of life. I guess I had taken her for granted in a way,  assuming she would always stay the same. She was just as sweet as she had ever been though, and was very happy to see everyone. She was confused as to why my hair was now black. I had to explain to her that dyeing your hair was a thing. My father dominated much of the living room conversation for those several days. And I honestly felt very bored for a large portion of the week. I mostly remember bits and pieces of the visit, and most of those memories are exclusive to my grandma. That, and my Aunt Gayle made this casserole, which seemed as though it would be tasty, and was, but had more hair in it than any food I had ever put in my mouth. Honestly, eventually Allison, David and I were pulling out hairballs, and we had to secretly scoop it into the garbage.

For Thanksgiving, my mother had a very nice set up for us. It was kind of surprising coming from her after all these years. My mother is actually a masterful homemaker, having been a stay at home mom who sewed and cooked and the like for a decade before she started dating my dad. And she had done very similar things for a few years she had been pregnant in the 90's. So my mom could set up a very good Thanksgiving. I ended up having Thanksgiving at her place, but then came back to Kendrick that night and threw it all up. I have horrible luck with having the stomach flu for holidays, and it almost feels like more than a mere coincidence.

Mostly my life felt horrible and empty though. Things weren't good, but they weren't terrible for me either. But I almost found this new kind of emptiness even worse. Certain things never get better for me. There is always a level of discontent and loss, and even when I find ways to get happy, or even jovial and off the wall excited, there is rarely ever a time when the melancholy has ever left. It's like a fog. There have only been a small number of instances when I could shut down enough or feel truly touched enough to surpass that. I sometimes call it the Adults, like a disease. You can't stop wanting things, but if you ever stop to look into your inner self, it's hard to figure out why. If your like me, you will fret anxiously, even in a state of calm, even if you are content, nothing is ever put right. If you get what you want, you will always just want something else, or get distracted by another want. And the repetition of days, weeks, years is all life turns out to be, and there is a feeling of nausea in being alive. You forget more than you will ever know, and the things you do remember never stay pure. So even though 9th grade was tougher on me than 10th, what with the abuse from my father, Jason, Ava ruining things for me, there was always an objective or even a delusion that there was paradise on the other side. Age 15 gave me this strong impression that there was no other side. If I got to the other side, I would only want to return, and so on and so forth. There was never any real satisfaction.

I would spend a lot of these monotonous times at Sarah's place. We would do anything we could to keep ourselves entertained. I often tried to instigate doing something new or over the top. Sarah usually didn't want to do anything, but if the goal wasn't too absurd – like walking ten miles into the woods at night, something I had suggested – just to get a taste for real danger that I was so dearly lacking, she would go along with it eventually. I made up this game where we couldn't let a single car see us. We would rent movies down at the store before it closed. Generally these movies were very boring and dull. I would often get far more frightened of horror movies than Sarah, even dumb ones like Jeepers Creepers. In fact, Jeepers Creepers made it very hard for me to walk alone at night, and I always had this sense that I would be walking alone at night and I would see that vintage vehicle with the horrific horn coming in my direction, so at times, I would literally run from the main road to not be spotted by any vehicle and it almost became a phobia to be seen by people or vehicles at night. I feel like a combination of being in no position to help myself, and being bored out of my wits, I half drove myself crazy.

Sarah and I also played a fair deal of chess. I was always lost. I always worried that it meant that I might in fact be much stupider than Sarah. Or maybe not stupider, but more impulsive. Not that I really felt that it was a contest, but there has always been a part of me that compared myself to others. It's not that I greatly enjoy feeling better than everyone else. It has more to do with the fact that I have never liked feeling ordinary, when I am in fact, believe it or not quite ordinary at times. And drawing was even worse. I've said it before, but sometimes, when Sarah and I were drawing together, I would feel like a lousy artist. Sarah's pictures were beginning to pop out of the page. Her line work and her shadowing were much better than mine. She could draw realistic. She could draw people from above, below, in midair, and so forth. And honestly, I drew and drew but it was always the same picture somehow. I felt very trapped in this cycle, and I don't know how many times I crinkled the paper as I was drawing, upset that I was getting no better despite how many attempts I made. I felt like I was watching Sarah grow wings, and fly away, leaving me earthbound. She didn't even seem to try. It just seemed like her abilities flowed out of her unconsciously. And the more effort I put into the art, the flatter and less inspired my art became.

Around this time, the movie 'Ray' about Ray Charles came out, and there was a distinct memory I have of sitting around this handmade kiln and fire pit that Sarah's mom built outside behind the house, not far from the cliff area. Sarah and I were roasting shishkabobs with chicken and vegetables on them, and we were eating them up. And after that, we went inside and watched Ray, played chess and I went to sleep. I would almost stay that I was at Sarah's home around 1/3 of the time at this point.

I was always looking for Zack. I seemed to sense his presence when he drove into Kendrick, and one lonely dark Friday night that would typically be spent watching a bad movie or me getting upset, I got the sense that Zack was close by. I begged Sarah to walk with me to find him. I didn't want to seem to desperate, but I just somehow knew he was in this very obscure area at the end of town that neither Sarah or I had any business being at. It was hard to explain the feeling, but it might be what the spider feels when a bug gets caught in it's web. It was a rainy night, and it was beginning to get cold again, the wind blowing. Sarah was not up for the weather, but I convinced her to come with me anyway. And I was right. Just as we were about to turn around and walk back, I saw Zack in the distance, entering into a strange empty garage building. He seemed to be fixing a vehicle, though I don't recall any of the details of what for or who's it was. He was all alone in this building, just working. He ended up seeing us, and enthusiastically waving us in. We hadn't seen him in nearly two months, other than maybe a few times in five minute increments.

It was at this point, where I, full of susceptibility, fell under his conspiracy theories. He spent three or four hours explaining to us that there were freemasons who controlled our entire planet. He made wildly inaccurate claims that I didn't know enough to dispute. He claimed to have done all this research. And honestly, I had no way of saying he hadn't . I had never even thought of doing 'research' on anything before, and I always assumed that the word itself clarified that the findings of that research were accurate. Actually, to be honest, I was closed minded enough and annoyed by school that I didn't think it was even a decent thing for a person to be doing. He talked about how they invented war, and poverty, and schools and prisons. They had levels, and some of them were in the police, some where teachers and others could just be your neighbors. They were all hiding within society, watching for people like us, and doing what they could to systematically prevent us from reaching our full potential. As he talked and talked, a web of power began to form in my mind. It wasn't something I quite understood, and some of my questions of why seemed weak. Basically, though, it really sunk in in big fact-blocks that I failed to question. Freemasons were controlling the entire world. And many of the things that happened in my life could be deconstructed and understood as outside manipulative forces pulling strings.

I feel a little ashamed to explain how invested I became in these conspiracy theories, the websites, the misinformation and the inconsistencies. The precursors to Alex Jones an all of that. Of course many of the conspiracy theorists were left wing as well as right, and I was too young and naive to really know what it meant to sort through it all. I really do understand what it is like to live with that foreboding sense of knowing that the world is out to get you and there are people who are pulling the strings. But at the time, this is the reality I now lived in. I am sure if someone had psychologically broke down my psyche at that stage in my life, they would have revealed that there was a psychological need to cling to these conspiracy theories. And it can also be said that some of the skepticism I started to have towards the world actually did me some good. There are some facts I learned in my exploration for the truth behind the veil. Prescott Bush was a fascist, Martin Luther King was likely assassinated by our own government, the media really is owned by six corporations, research really has been hidden from the public, and there really are there rich families in the world that pull strings to increase their wealth. It was a good attitude to take to the war on terror, the war on drugs later on. I can't entirely say it was all bad. But believing that the government has time machines, or that the government has the cure to every single disease and simply has suppressed it to that level, the moon landing is a hoax, fluoride in the water is turning us all to zombies, The Rothschild family are trillionaires, there are cameras in our microwaves, and the neighbor is watching me – this stuff is embarrassing to admit that I fell into.

When I left that night, I felt really strange. Sort of empty, and helpless, but also very aware, and also kind of hollowed out. I remember one of the last things Zack said to me before leaving that night. He told me that the only thing that the government could never control were artists. Nobody could ever control what I choose to put down on paper, be it writing, or art. This gave me this vague sense of purpose. I was already strongly along the path of resisting school, resisting adults, and authority in general, but now it was almost a moral incentive to disregard the social order as a whole, and to never trust anyone again who wasn't Zack, or Sarah. And sadly this really closed my mind and made me rather mentally unstable.

I started getting really into The Doors. I especially thought Jim Morrison was cool – for obvious reasons, among those, he was a poet and seemed to be edgy and rebellious and at the same time ethereal mystical and he was dead and spelled one of the things we consider when we look at the end of the 60's era. And he was nothing like me in many ways. Where I was clumsy, unmysterious, trapped and cautious, Jim Morrison was not. And he was beautiful. I was never into his looks personally, but he did radiate a certain beauty with a fair amount of effortlessness. I could never achieve balancing on the fine line that he balanced upon. Jim Morrison in his time lived in a different plain of existence than I did. I would often wish that I had lived during the sixties rather than the 21st century, and I think in an attempt to be more like those I admired, I stopped washing my hair to be like Kurt Cobain and my interpretation of many of the counter culture icons I thought seemed legit. I heard from someone that Jim Morrison never changed his pants. I actually don't know if this is actually true or not, but my English teacher told me that her college friend's uncle's friend knew Jim and that he would go several months without cleaning his pants, which gave them this soft slickness that was almost disturbing to the touch.

So I decided to follow suit and never wash my pants. It also didn't help that my few pairs of jeans that I owned had holes all over. They never fit me right, and the bottoms of them dragged on the ground and caused them to split up the leg eventually, and walking eroded the jeans between my legs. I had to wear tights under my jeans to not feel nude, and my father didn't see the need to buy me jeans that actually fit or were of high quality, or even at all really. So in a sense, I might have been trying to embrace my poverty and the perceived dirtiness people felt that I had always embodied. So I had dyed pink hair that was full of grease all the time, dirty torn up pants (not the trendy kind of torn), an angry look on my face with tons of black eyeliner, and a mind abuzz with conspiracies – most of it being childishly distant from anything resembling reality. I think I remember crying nervously one cold night looking at the power outlet on the wall – thinking that maybe, just maybe freemasons were looking at me through that mysterious electrical outlet. These are the kinds of things I am not proud to admit happened, and I am glad they are over.

My father at this time was really invested in his girlfriend Patty down in Boise – maybe more so or just as much as he had been with Jodi, and I think the notion that she was sitting on a million dollars, and seemed classier than he was made him feel ashamed of his life up in North Idaho with his lower middle class wages. He felt like a menial factory cog with no education courting a millionaire. And truth be told, he was tired of being a father altogether. He felt very strongly that we prevented him from moving forward with his life, or at least he propped us up in that way. He hated me for growing up. He felt I looked too much like my mother, and he just seemed to hate me half the time, but couldn't fully express it. His annoyance at having to be a father in general was growing. And he began telling Allison, David and I that he was considering moving to Boise and leaving us behind. His foolish plan was to give my mom the house that he had bought for her all those years anyway, and leave all of us behind. This didn't upset me in the least. First of all, I didn't believe it would actually happen at all. Plus, though I had issues with my mom for sure,  with the absence of my father also went the absence of feeling stressed out and the feeling that I should be ashamed of myself. I felt like in many ways, as crazy as my mom was, I would be liberated mentally as well as physically. Plus, my father had already disappointed me. It wasn't a great shock to be abandoned. It was a fact of life really. There was an element of chaos honestly to the idea of him leaving for good that I felt I could thrive in.

This news broke my little brother's heart though. He looked up to my father, and it permanently damaged a sense of confidence he had in our father, but when you are a small child, that sense of abandonment spreads to everything around you. He felt like my father had just emotionally abandoned him and had never really loved him to begin with. Even if it never came to pass, the fact that my father was so invested in the idea of leaving us all behind as to tell us early to buffer the results was the greatest betrayal. I think Allison, having always been overlooked by both me and David felt a cold sort of distance with the situation, but she also felt abandoned.

It was around this time that the Nirvana Box set, 'With the Lights Out' came out. I was incredibly excited about it. And when Sarah and I both got our box sets, we listened to the songs over and over again. Some of my favorites were 'They Hung Him On a Cross', Verse Chorus Verse' and 'Don't Want It All'. One weekend, I came back from my mom's and Sarah told me that she had picked up the guitar and had learned a song from the box set. I was immediately a little shaken with jealousy about this. I still didn't really know any songs. I didn't understand tablature. I kept practicing the things my father told me to on the guitar, but I felt that there was something I wasn't getting, and there was no further way for me to pick it up. My dad told me if I didn't get 'it' on my own, than I never would. I was hoping for something more constructive and encouraging. And Sarah had never played guitar before. Her father had randomly bought her one – probably stole it from someone who he lied to about his identity (a common trick of his). And she learned 'Opinion' by Nirvana. She just, picked up a guitar, learned four chords and was already better than me. She also sang, and it seemed really awesome to me.

Honestly, I had so little to be proud of, and I had been meagerly hoping to get better somehow, and it hadn't happened. I had been working tirelessly to get better, but I was lost. And I couldn't draw that well anymore in comparison to Sarah either. Something inside of me had become emotionally stuck. It was something psychological, and I didn't know how to get over it. It was something instilled in me from Ava and my father and just the school in general. I could put a pen to paper but I couldn't seem to create anything. I could strum a guitar, but music never seemed to be what happened. And Sarah in many ways was naive and childish about the world. She had never had much serious pain in her life aside from a vague empty depression that she mostly was able to ignore. So it was a great insult to  me and everything I was trying to hold onto. That the world punishes people and molds them into something finer. Instead, I felt like the misery I had thus far experienced was making me weaker somehow, and I was meant to watch Ava move on to do great things in her life, and Sarah to be admired. And thus I was immediately poisoned by envy that I couldn't shake. Not only was I not confident enough to perform six months after secretly playing, but I could never have done it with confidence in a single weekend like she did. And she not only played the guitar, she sang and well. She played faster than me, and it all happened with a seemingly effortless magic about it. I was crushed and humiliated. I felt sick with myself, but I had no formula to defeat my own failings. I went home and felt this self loathing frustration. I cried and screamed in my pillow. I couldn't exactly hate Sarah, because she had never wronged me, and she was my only friend. But I was beginning to resent myself whenever I was in her presence.

I later realized that part of the reason I might have been struggling as a guitarist was because I am left handed and I was playing right handed guitar. It made strumming, particularly finger picking a little more difficult.

My mother moved out of Jim and Connie's, and she started house watching for this woman named Linda, who was gone for several weeks at a time to watch over a hot springs resort that she partially owned that was five hours away. So I got to stay in her nice house for a bit. It was a mediocre home for the most part actually, but it was very nice by the standards that I was used to. They had cable television and three bedrooms. There were two Labradors that lived there, who were very nice. It was nice and cozy, and there was food to eat. Outside was beginning to be winter. I remember watching all of Forest Gump for the first time since I was young, and realizing that the movie was actually kind of silly. I had just assumed that Forest Gump's life was completely realistic when I was younger. Also, I decided to use their phone and call Sarah. I didn't realize this, but I ended up costing Linda a whole bunch of money, because I stayed on the phone with Sarah for six hours at a time. It was quite common for me in those days to stay on the phone with friends for that long. And strangely enough, I don't think I ever met Linda. I might have, but it was years previous to the house sitting.

I think we had Christmas at Linda's but I cannot be sure. I know we ended up having New Year's there. There was a major fight between my father and mother during that time, and up to that point for the most part the two of them had done well to avoid dealing with one another in any way. Basically, what I remember was – my mom wanted to have my father take us kids for New Year's since her and Danny were going to go out and she didn't want us around. It was her time to have us, and my father felt put out by this, since he felt like he had taken us every time she wanted to drink or anything during the holidays for years, so he told her no. This enraged her and she lost her shit completely. She ended up telling us all she was going to have him thrown in prison for it. I felt this was incredibly flaky. So, as I mentioned clear back in part 1 or part 2 of this story, my older half sister made up that my father had molested her, when in fact he had not. Roxanne later admitted to me that he hadn't, and given that, for all my father's faults he never seemed to have a pedophilia aspect to his personality at all, I tend to feel like this is complete and total confirmation that nothing ever happened.

My mother had selectively decided not to care about the whole ordeal. She might have cared when she first heard about it, but later on, she still would leave us kids with my dad, and at times didn't even seem to hold it against him, that he potentially had raped her daughter. Early on, her and Roxanne had both let him babysit Sagen, Roxanne's daughter. So it always seemed a little fishy to me for that reason as well. Nobody in their right mind would selectively not care about something like this. Of course, Roxanne knew she had lied, so her selective lack of concern made some sense. My mom however, had decided not to accept it when Roxanne told us that she had lied. She still chose to believe the molestation had in fact happened. So when she didn't care about what my father had done, she did so from a very selfish place – if that is, she truly believed in the molestation to begin with.

So, she made some phone calls. I don't know who she called exactly, but I believe it is some kind of hotline to report crimes of this nature. Her plan was to extract revenge on our dad for what she figured he had done years ago. And all of this was based on him not wanting to take us for New Years Eve. She literally wanted to get him thrown in prison for not taking us for a New Years, that is how petty and fucked up she was/is. Even though my father was not a grand person to me a lot of the time, I really believe that people should be charged with the crimes they committed rather ones that they have not committed. And this was her card to play, that she had felt she had had for years if my father didn't do what she wanted.

She explained to us that we might never see our father again, as she believed that as soon as she made this phone call, police were going to find my father and hold him in custody. She called Roxanne and told her that she would give Roxanne a lot of money if Roxanne would testify against my father in court. I am not sure what Roxanne's response to any of this was. This plan my mother was hatching really was all her ego flaring out of control, angry at the mere notion of having been told 'no' and therefore disappointing Danny. The people who my mom spoke to over the phone, only based off what they heard my mother tell them, explained to her that too much time had passed for him to be convicted. If it had happened, it would have been in the 80's. They were extremely apologetic, and for what it's worth, I think that is a very unfortunate law and they were very sorry. I absently listened to her talk to them over the phone as this all happened. My mother was pissed.

Eventually, Noah left school. He had been a senior set to graduate in a matter of one more semester, but he just decided to drop out. I had gone from being very nice to him, and then when I realized that he had started to have a crush on me, I had decided to be overly rude to him. A part of it was actually just girlish immaturity on my own part. I wasn't used to the idea of someone having a crush on me at all, and rather than face that Noah was also a real person who was capable of having thoughts and feelings, I rejected him entirely because it made me uncomfortable. A part of it too was that I was immaturely blaming him personally for making Zack move. Because he was there, Zack didn't feel like the center of attention any longer. And I was sorry I had set it up that way, but I wasn't mature enough to see it for what it was, and was much happier to blame Noah as if he directly had chosen to ruin things for me. It was a strange psychological blame that made absolutely no sense, but made me feel better. So I took that out on him as well. Also, I legitimately didn't understand what I had done to make him have a crush on me. I never felt like I was hitting on him. I suppose it was because I had no feelings for him really that I was able to be more myself around him, assuming that this wouldn't mean much to him. Instead he had started to grow fond of me. And I figured the only way to undo that was to be a jerk.

I don't remember much of what I said or did, but I spent about a month being really mean towards him on purpose in a manner I was not typically used to being towards anyone else. And I feel a bit badly about that now. It wasn't right. I am sure it came as a shock when I was being so nice to him for a few months, making jokes, questioning him and the like and then cutting him off and acting like he was gross for seemingly no reason. He had perhaps hoped we would become really close friends or more, perhaps carrying that light hearted feeling home with him that I could have related to all too well had I opened my mind to the idea. He had no other friends. And I probably ruined many of his days and nights by being ridiculously mean for no reason. I am sorry he got caught in the cogs of my emotional instability. This isn't to say that I should have given him a chance. I really didn't like him like that. Still, it was certainly not something I am very proud of.

There is only one thing I remember about Christmas that year. And that is this was the day when I discovered David Bowie. My brother David liked the Labyrinth soundtrack with all those memorable David Bowie songs from the film, and because of this my father was reminded of his own fondness for early David Bowie. So he decided to buy David 'The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars' for Christmas. After everyone opened their gifts, we put the album on to listen to. I had expected I wouldn't like it. I was hesitant to appreciate a man who looked so feminine. I was so brought up by 90's and early 00's butt rock that the idea that someone could be anything, as it felt like David Bowie could be was a strange thing for me to accept.

Then the album started playing. I had never heard anything so pure and perfect in my entire life. As soon as the vocals came in on Five Years 'Pushing through the market square ..' I felt like I was melting into a better something. I felt a new kind of life in me emerging. This sense that I could grow and change. That no one or no anything is one thing or the other. What I partially took from David Bowie was that rebelling didn't have to be something like 'oh, you took the left side, so I took the right side to anger you and oppose you'. David Bowie represented for me at least, a way of looking at the world that was more about free expression not based on defiance, but by this pure enigma of passion for art itself. Nobody could reach you there to put the shackles on you, and you didn't have to do things to insult your oppressors by doing everything opposite to them. I didn't have to not wash up because people who fit into a society better than I did, did bath. By defining myself as some kind of anti version of them, I was in a way still letting them define me. The real way to liberation was to live in a world of such pure inspiration and passion and to live that life shamelessly. My mind had for that last year, gravitated into black and white. David Bowie sort of made my world into a rainbow.

I listened to that album about twenty times on Christmas day alone. It was David's but he wasn't as fixated by Ziggy Stardust as I was. I wanted to look like David Bowie. It didn't seem overly important to me if he was a man or a woman. Those traits seemed secondary to some greater essence of being that radiated off him. Every song on that album was absolutely perfect. But somehow it was also more than just music. Having this album in my life basically changed things for me. It changed how I looked myself in the mirror, it changed my art, the words that came to me when I thought. It really did transcend what David Bowie probably ever intended. It helped cure my feelings of hopelessness. A sense of calm came over me. It didn't fix me per say, but it was the one thread of something I had found to hold onto for an entire year of empty rebellion and empty spirit.

PART 43 - http://tinyurl.com/yckvswd7

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PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

[picnokinesis]

archervale submitted:

(ok since tumblr is being a piece of…poop, I’m gonna submit this instead of asking lol) 

First name: Sarah Nickname: Taka (ehehe) Age: 20 Gender: :D Sexual Orientation: Aro/Ace Nationality: British Relationship status: Single Likes: oh…this could get long haha; natural disasters, gravity falls (PORTAL FORD), traveler, 12 monkeys, fob, ybc, marvel, httyd, your ocs, distopias, aro/ace characters/ pride, AXOLOTLS, cool animals, ANGST!, sci-fi, skies, cool scenery, pretty aesthetic, drawing, reading super angsty fics (and then proceed to scream about them lol), the multiverse, time travel  Dislikes: Spiders? xD, Not having time to draw what you want (lol it sucks) people who feel entitled to force their opinion on others, when people are mean to your friends, staying up late (you’re an actual grandparent haha :P)  Random fact: You liked my little pony as a kid…right?

AHH FINALLY ahahahah (ok for everyone else - it took about 5 attempts at sending this for it to actually appear in my inbox and it was as hilarious as it was frustrating)

10/10 of course ahahahaha xD The like list is PERFECT ahahahah aHH you got so many things in there!! xD You can literally track my obsessions ahahha also ‘ reading super angsty fics (and then proceed to scream about them)’ is SO ACCURATE ahahaha and I apologise for putting you on the other end of that a lot of the time for fandoms you know nothing about ahahah

staying up late (you’re an actual grandparent haha :P) - this is so true but ‘grandparent’?? hello, I think you’ll find you’re the one who is SO OLD like you’re REALLY REALLY OLD like 100 or something?? idek know you’re just OLD ahahahha

And YES I did like MLP when I was a kid, but before any of you judge me, I’ll have you know the original version of MLP was actually pretty awesome (I have nothing against the other versions btw) and had Actual Threat to Characters and stuff (like, there’s a movie where this evil dictator monster who was locked in another dimension takes over and the ponies have to go rescue their friends which have been captured and theN EVEN MORE GET CAPTURED and so there’s about 10 left and they have to try storm the castle and a bunch of the guards rebel and it’s awesome). Also I was thinking about this the other day - my first fanfics were probably MLP and you BET they had angst in them ahahaha (not as angsty as now...but still xD)

[theconservativebrief]

Over the past 23 years, the animation studio Pixar has become one of the country’s most consistent purveyors of film, growing steadily since it released Toy Story, the first computer-animated feature-length film in history, on November 22, 1995.

From superhero adventures to lonely robots on a post-apocalyptic Earth, its movies have earned plaudits for being artistically adventurous and for telling stories ostensibly aimed at kids that have just as many adult fans. Even Pixar’s less notable works still provide solid entertainment. (Well, except for a couple.)

Naturally, the release of Incredibles 2, the studio’s 20th full-length feature film, meant it was time for your friendly neighborhood Vox staff to rank all 20 of those films so far. Should you have any quibbles with the results, please note that our rankings are 100 percent accurate. We’re glad to put the old debate of which Pixar movie is best to rest.

If you want to see our rankings of all of Pixar’s short films, go here.

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The best thing about Cars 2 is that its release came after a long, unbroken string of Pixar dominance that had lasted for the company’s first 11 features. (Even the first Cars, while obviously the weakest of those films, is an entertaining movie with something on its mind.)

Thus, the company was due for a backlash, and it almost seemed as if it released this film in an attempt to schedule that backlash and get it over with as quickly as possible.

The neat idea here is that of an international spy saga starring cars; the movie was essentially only greenlit because the first one sold so much in the way of toys and merchandise, so why not use it to experiment with what a Pixar film could be?

Sadly, its more overtly action-oriented trappings don’t really work, and the film lacks any deeper themes or ideas. The result is an unfortunate example of the one thing so many other studios’ films aspire to but Pixar films usually seem to transcend without blinking: a somewhat tolerable way to keep the kids entertained for a couple of hours. —Todd VanDerWerff

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A troubling phenomenon that’s started to creep up on Pixar in recent years is the sense that all of its films are constructed from elements of other films. This is no big surprise; all films draw inspiration from somewhere, and Pixar revisits the same general ideas and themes over and over.

But in the past five years, the studio has seemingly gotten much worse at transforming those influences into something all its own, which is how we arrive at The Good Dinosaur, a visually stunning feature that lacks soul — the one thing a Pixar film must have above all else.

There are some potentially interesting ideas in The Good Dinosaur about overcoming fear and the importance of family (the latter being a Pixar staple), but they’re subsumed by an episodic story that’s full of false starts and never figures out what it wants to be. —Todd VanDerWerff

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Cars 3 is by no means a great movie, but it’s also not a bad one, and if you only compared it to its immediate predecessor, you might conclude it was the finest film ever made. Cars 3 tries to expand the world of the Cars films, and it does so to what’s essentially the breaking point. (In one scene, a character alludes to what amounts to car racism and a car civil rights movement. Sure.)

Where Cars 3 ultimately succeeds is in its interest in exploring a time-honored Pixar theme: the slow passage of authority from one generation to the next. Lightning McQueen is getting old, and now that he’s threatened by a new generation of race cars with better technology, he has to find a way to compete. Would you believe that he learns along the way that he has value to the world, even if he’s no longer the fastest race car of them all? Would you similarly believe that he thus completes a journey vaguely set up in the first Cars movie?

The Cars films are one of Pixar’s least fruitful cul de sacs, but Cars 3 at least provides a largely bittersweet sendoff to them, provided this is the last. —Todd VanDerWerff

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Originally pitched as The Yellow Car, the first incarnation of Cars told the story of an electric car in a gas-powered world. Little appears to remain of that story (except the fact that the characters are cars); instead, the film stars Lightning McQueen, a brash, bright red race car. Stranded in a long-forgotten roadside town called Radiator Springs, Lightning learns a lesson in humility from a cast of “folksy” automobiles after running afoul of the law.

A hit with younger audiences, the film sets a fairly straightforward path to Lightning’s redemption and introduces one of Pixar’s more annoying sidekicks in the process: Mater the talking tow truck. Far more interesting than Cars’ main story are its secondary themes of buried history and authenticity, though like many parts of this film’s legacy, they’re largely lost in the flash. —Agnes Mazur

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The prequel to Monsters, Inc. brings the story of Mike and Sully back to its unlikely origins. As college freshmen, the two characters — who perfectly embody the jock/nerd archetypes — are forced to work together to compete in the annual campus Scare Games (think American Gladiator, but with more spikes and teeth).

Though it’s laden with college movie tropes ranging from stolen mascots to fraternity hazing, Monsters University still manages to give the pair’s unlikely friendship the room it needs to grow. A notable twist near the end of the film keeps it from being too predictable, and the sheer variation and number of monsters populating the world reflect an animation team with a zeal for detail. Even the movie’s promotional materials, which include a full Monsters University website, brim with the color and character of a true Pixar production. —Agnes Mazur

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Pixar’s second feature-length film is a kinda-sorta remake of the samurai classic The Seven Samurai (already kinda-sorta remade as The Magnificent Seven), but starring bugs. The studio is clearly still feeling out its process in this one, which is good but not yet impeccable. Still, it boasts one of Pixar’s most entertaining ensemble casts, thanks to an elaborate bug circus that poses as a fearsome army.

In the lead role is Kids in the Hall and Newsradio star Dave Foley, who’s so good as a Pixar everyman that it’s somewhat amazing he hasn’t been added to every film the studio’s made since, John Ratzenberger–style. (Ratzenberger, the former Cheers star who’s been part of every Pixar movie to date, stars in A Bug’s Life as the owner of the circus.) —Todd VanDerWerff

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Thirteen years after Finding Nemo premiered in 2003, its sequel, Finding Dory, swam eagerly into theaters, trying to recapture the immense heart and sweetness that made Nemo such a success. Ellen DeGeneres reprised the role of Dory — the lovable blue tang fish with almost no short-term memory — backed by a largely new all-star cast featuring Ed O’Neill as a surly octopus and Kaitlin Olson as an enthusiastic whale shark. Together, they bring new life to Pixar’s underwater universe by building a franchise that kept the earnest spirit of the original movie alive.

And while Dory’s determined adventuring through a marine life rehabilitation center doesn’t quite have the same magic of Nemo’s open-ocean travels, the sequel manages to stand on its own by diving deep into what makes the thoughtful, forgetful Dory such a truly special fish. —Caroline Framke

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Describing Brave as a “redheaded stepchild” might prove a bit too literal, given its hero Merida’s long, crimson locks, but it’s a worthwhile film that’s too often overlooked in retrospectives of Pixar’s best work. The first film in the studio’s history to feature a female protagonist (seriously, it took that long), Brave sometimes feels assembled from 17 different screenplay drafts. However, it has at its center a tremendously compelling story of how our relationships with our parents evolve as we age into adolescence.

Scottish princess Merida is struggling with the notion that she’s meant to choose a husband — she wants to do no such thing — which leads to her and her mother being cast out into the wild, forced to care for each other and come to a new understanding. Most refreshing: There’s no perfunctory love interest in sight. —Todd VanDerWerff

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Pixar’s first sequel (though, sadly, not its last), Toy Story 2 was changed at the last minute from a direct-to-video feature to a theatrical release. Surprisingly, this doesn’t show, as the film revisits its predecessor’s themes of friendship and finding one’s purpose, then shoots them through with a hefty dose of melancholy at the thought of children eventually growing up and leaving childish things behind.

It cannily reverses the original movie’s dynamics, with cowboy Woody now the one who’s unhappy being a toy and Buzz Lightyear having to pull him back from the brink. And when Woody gets a chance to attain immortality thanks to a toy collector, he’s seriously tempted, only to be reminded of his true calling.

Toy Story 2 has no reason to be as good as it is, but it adds substantially to the franchise’s mythology (such as it is). It also features a Sarah McLachlan song that will destroy you, guaranteed. —Todd VanDerWerff

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Something Pixar doesn’t get enough credit for these days (possibly thanks to its recent focus on sequels) is the economy of its world building. Watch the first 10 minutes of Monsters, Inc. and you’ll understand, more or less, everything you need to know about the universe it operates in — while still having your mind blown by the beauty of said universe (the factory floor!) and being tickled by its wit.

Monsters, Inc. is also Pixar’s first attempt to do something radical, asking children to identify with parent figures, in this case Mike Wazowski and Sully, as they try to care for and protect a creature they love but don’t entirely understand. Boo awakened parental feelings that 13-year-old me had never felt before, and have been stirred only rarely since. —Dara Lind

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Up is not just the first Pixar movie to make me cry but the first movie to make me do so as an adult. Its famous opening sequence, in which a married couple experiences some of the highs and lows of their lives, is one of the most blunt depictions of growing up and letting life pass you by that I have ever seen in a film, animated or otherwise.

But this introduction sets the stage for a movie that at its core promises it’s never too late to go out and accomplish what you want; after all the disappointment we witness in the first few minutes, from the loss of a potential child to the death of a loved one, an elderly man quite literally defies gravity to finally take the trip to South America he and his wife always dreamed of. —German Lopez

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In so many ways, Incredibles 2 is Pixar’s most dazzling achievement. It’s true that computer animation doesn’t age as well as hand-drawn animation, thanks to continued technological leaps. It’s also true that the original Incredibles no longer looks as spiffy as it did in 2004, and, thus, it’s not hard to imagine this sequel looking similarly wrung out in (ye gods) 2032.

But goodness does director Brad Bird know his way around an action sequence! So much of Incredibles 2 offers some of the most visually inventive, most astonishing superhero sequences in all of moviemaking, and it’s hard to conceive of those losing their punch when all is said and done. That those sequences are also wrapped around a surprisingly complex and intriguing story about ideas of exceptionalism, justice, and community makes it sort of an ur-text for everything Bird has been obsessed with for his entire career.

The story perhaps lacks some of the emotional heft of the first film, and it occasionally cuts awkwardly between its superhero-driven main story (starring Elastigirl!) and a domestic comedy subplot about Mr. Incredible having to be a stay-at-home dad. But both storylines are tremendous fun, and when they finally converge in the movie’s second half, it takes off to join some of Pixar’s best. —Todd VanDerWerff

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So many of Pixar’s movies are a tale of two halves. You’ll be watching the first half of the movie, wondering if it’s going anywhere, only for the second half to sock you in the gut with unexpected emotional payoffs. Or, in the case of a handful of the studio’s movies, a terrific first half is followed by a second half that gradually deflates.

Coco belongs to the former category, with a slightly tedious first half that feels like the studio repeating itself in its themes of family and community and even mortality. Sure, the visit to the Land of the Dead (as depicted in Mexican mythology) is visually stunning, with a bright neon glow unlike anything else in the Pixar canon. But so much of that early going feels rote and familiar. It gets by with this by being a mystery, more or less, as young boy Miguel investigates several family secrets after accidentally landing in the afterlife. But it’s hard to escape the feeling of having been there and done that.

And then the second half hits, and you realize just how much Coco has been playing you. As Miguel finally uncovers the sadness at the core of his family, the movie becomes effortlessly transporting and, finally, in its closing sequence, incredibly moving. It’s the only movie on this list that might make clicking a “Remember Me” box on a website’s login screen make you tear up. —Todd VanDerWerff

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Toy Story 3 might not be the best film in the franchise, but it’s the one that hits you the hardest. There’s always been a Velveteen Rabbit–like quality to the Toy Story movies — they’re thoughtful pieces of art that make you question what it means to be “real” or “loved.” And in Toy Story 3, Buzz, Woody and the rest of the toys just want to be loved as Andy heads off to college.

Their yearning sets them on a voyage to a day care from hell, where they clash with a maniacal teddy bear named Lots-O-Huggin’ and end up in one of the most emotionally devastating scenes Pixar has ever produced. —Alex Abad-Santos

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Ratatouille is Pixar’s ode to the infectious joy of making art. The plot is a standard (if sprightly) tale of genius overcoming limitations: Would-be gourmet chef Remy is the genius, and the unfortunate fact that he is a rat is the limitation.

But in all of the movie’s truly indelible passages, cooking is just a symbol for any creative endeavor — say, filmmaking. Remy’s first adventure in combining one type of food with another (a bit of cheese with a strawberry) is a jazzy bit of synesthesia, and the joy that Pixar’s animators felt in illustrating it just leaps off the screen.

Later, the film’s final act, involving the skinny and therefore deeply suspicious restaurant reviewer Anton Ego, offers a moving bit of wish fulfillment: Every creator would love to turn the heart of his harshest critic. —Dara Lind

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This underwater tale opens with a jarring, devastating loss that sets the charge on the emotional minefield that is parenting, making clownfish Marlin’s paranoia for his son Nemo’s safety sting that much more. And once Marlin’s worst fears are realized, the two embark on parallel journeys that make them face their fears head on.

Between the schools of fish, (mostly) friendly sharks, slightly stoned sea turtles, and misfit aquarium inhabitants they encounter along the way lie some poignant lessons about life. But the true beauty lies in Finding Nemo’s gorgeous animation and the enduring love of family. —Caroline Framke

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Pixar has mastered the art of telling children’s stories adults can relate to. But this year, the studio showed it can also do the opposite. Inside Out, about a tweenage girl named Riley, feels like a story for grown-ups that’s wrapped in a candy-coated, kid-friendly shell.

The film explores what it’s like to feel listless, to face the inevitability and pain of growing up. And while Pixar’s movies have certainly dealt with heavy topics in the past (a lost parent in Finding Nemo, the loss of love in Wall-E and Up, etc.), Inside Out transcends its cinematic cousins to tackle a more pronounced ache and sense of sadness — feelings the movie beautifully depicts as a crucial part of life. —Alex Abad-Santos

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A trash-collecting robot is an unlikely protagonist for any movie. But Pixar managed to win over audiences with a wide-eyed waste compactor named Wall-E who’s assigned the thankless task of cleaning up the heaps of trash humans have left all over Earth.

Wall-E stands out from other Pixar movies thanks to its general lack of dialogue, as the title character only utters a few words throughout the entire film — including his own name and that of EVE, the sleek white robot he courts in a whirlwind romance. Wall-Eshows what Pixar can do with a minimal approach, and the result is solid: a tearjerker of a movie that appeals to viewers of all ages. —Sarah Kliff

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There’s no talking about Pixar’s brand without talking about Toy Story, the studio’s first full-length movie that remains one of its best, even 20 years later. The story of a boy, his imagination, and his toys that come to life the second he leaves them alone set the tone for everything Pixar has done since.

The development of an unlikely bond between cowboy pull-toy Woody and intergalactic superhero Buzz Lightyear is pure silliness on its face, but Toy Story comes to life just as swiftly as its toys thanks to the wit of a zippy, heartfelt script (the work of several different writers, including Finding Nemo’s Andrew Stanton and Buffy’s Joss Whedon).

As Woody and Buzz dodge toy-breaking neighbors and grapple with playroom politics, Toy Story imparts lessons about friendship, grief, and growing up without ever losing its brilliant sense of humor — or, more importantly, its earnest sense of wonder. —Caroline Framke

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Our choice for Pixar’s very best film is this action-packed superhero comedy that doubles as a story about a family splintering apart, then coming back together and/or — depending on your political/philosophical leanings — a weird defense of Ayn Rand’s theories of objectivism. (The Incredibles contains the line “If everyone’s special, then no one is,” which has one context in a superhero story and quite another everywhere else.)

What’s clear in every frame of this film is that Pixar is at the top of its game, dishing out hilarious jokes (like costume designer Edna Mode’s rant against capes), top-flight action sequences, and genuinely touching moments. It was the first film made for the studio by Brad Bird, whose future contributions would include 2007’s Ratatouille. —Todd VanDerWerff

Correction: This article originally said that Wall-E only says one word throughout the course of Wall-E. His vocabulary is limited, but it’s not that limited. We’ve corrected the error.

Original Source -> All 17 Pixar movies, definitively ranked

via The Conservative Brief

[imaginingintensely]

10 Books I Read This Year

This was originally going to be a top 10 list, but looking back over my Goodreads ratings I realized that my ratings varied widely depending on my mood when I finished the book. So instead this is a list of 10 books that I read and enjoyed this year. There were a couple of things that affected my reading habits this year: my mental health was not very good, this was the first full calendar year that I have not been studying English, and I started following the Vaginal Fantasy book club online. This meant that I read a lot more Young Adult and Romance novels and tended to choose books for amusement rather than to learn. I have also been trying work against the belief that genre fiction is not “real literature,” which I realized that I had unconsciously assimilated. An interesting side effect of reading more YA and romance was that the majority of the authors I read were women, 72%. Although it is also worth noting that most of these were white women as only 17% of the authors were POC. So, in no particular order, here are the books:

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas (2017) The Hate U Give tells the story of sixteen-year-old, Starr Carter, as she witnesses her friend being shot by a police officer and deals with the aftermath of the shooting. It explores race, racism, police violence, and media coverage while also taking up issues of class, family, community, and self-discovery. This topical novel does an excellent job of finding a balance between the mundanity of everyday life as a teenager and serious political discourse. Thomas tempers the dark emotionality of grief and trauma with humour and family. This is the kind of Young Adult novel that I wish was around when I was a teenager and believe should be explored in High School English classes.

Yardwork: A Biography of an Urban Place - Daniel Coleman (2017) I took a class from Dr. Coleman, while doing my Master’s degree at McMaster and was interested to see what he was doing in his writing and research; so when this book came out I picked it up. Yardwork: A Biography of an Urban Place is a combination of local history and life writing that tells the story of one specific plot of land, Coleman’s yard in Hamilton, Ontario. Coleman constructs this narrative through conventional historical research as well as oral history and indigenous sacred narratives. Yardwork: A Biography of an Urban Place acknowledges the settler colonial history of the land and attempts to work against western conventions by affording the land and animals as much importance as humans and by giving all source material equal importance. Reading this book made me wish I had got to know Hamilton better while I lived there and want similar books about other places I have lived in. However, it is worth noting that because the book is so place-specific it might not be as captivating for those who have not visited or lived in the Hamilton area.

Throne of Glass (Series) - Sarah J. Maas (2012-) The Throne of Glass series is an epic YA fantasy series that follows teenage assassin Celaena Sardothien as she fights against a growing evil taking over her world. The series has magic, mystery, intrigue, lost heirs, and fae kingdoms. It is a fun and enthralling read and Celaena is a badass heroine. However, the series is not without its faults. There is the usual YA love triangle drama, and I still have not forgiven Maas for killing off one of my favourite characters in the first book solely to provide motivation for Celaena. The first couple of books tend to fall into female exceptionalism, where one woman is exceptional by magic or skill in a world dominated by men and the narrative ignores the continued system oppression of women. However, this does improve somewhat as the series progresses and introduces more female characters and slowly reveals that Celaena is flawed, but willing to grow and change.

Saga (series) - Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples (2012-) I frequently find it difficult to find comics that I like. Often I will appreciate the text but not the illustrations or vice versa. However, Saga written by Brian K. Vaughan and illustrated by Fiona Staples is a beautiful melding of words and images. The series tells the story of two soldiers from opposite sides of an intergalactic war who fall in love and have a daughter, Hazel. Saga is about trying to raise a family and forge and maintain relationships during a conflict. It continually asks the reader whose lives matter and whose stories are worth telling. The illustrations are colourful and stunning and the pacing stretches and compresses time to fit the narrative. I keep lending it to my friends so I thought it was well worth putting on this list. One note though: the series does contain graphic violence and explicit sexuality so if that is not what you are into you may want to give it a pass.

Me, My Hair, and I - ed. Elizabeth Benedict (2015) I got this book as a Christmas gift from my sister two years ago, while I was doing research on hair for my MA. Now that I am done my MA I finally had time to read it. Me, My Hair, and I is an anthology of women’s writing about their hair. Because of the variety of authors, I enjoyed some pieces more than others, but because they were all written by professional writers they were all well done. The topic of hair provides a fascinating lens through which to look at women’s lives and relationships. Many of the stories talked about culture, beauty standards, femininity, sexuality, and mother-daughter relationships. While I thoroughly enjoyed this book, I would have appreciated more entries about body hair and queer hair.

This One Summer - Mariko Tamaki and Jillian Tamaki (2014) This One Summer follows pre-teens Windy and Rose through a summer at their families’ cabins at Awago Beach. The book focuses on their relationships to each other, their families, and the other residents in the small lake community. It is slow, quiet graphic novel that focuses more on place, feeling, and female friendship than plot. As always, Jillian Tamaki’s illustrations are full of life and emotion and depict the Canadian landscape beautifully.

Animal: The Autobiography of a Female Body - Sara Pascoe (2016) Animal: The Autobiography of a Female Body is a combination of British comedian Sara Pascoe’s autobiography and an exploration of evolutionary history. It examines what it means to be a woman in contemporary British culture and the thousands of years of evolution that contribute to women’s experience of their bodies. This book is grounded in Pascoe’s personal experience of her body which makes it funny, moving, and intriguing. Admittedly, Pascoe is a comedian and not a scientist so the science sections of this book are not as strong as the autobiographical section, but they do go some way to complicating how we think of women and inviting the reader to think beyond the present.

Midnight Crossroad - Charlaine Harris (2014) I picked up Midnight Crossroad because I heard about the television series based off of it and wanted to read the books before I tried it. The book is a murder mystery and takes place the small town of Midnight, Texas, which is inhabited by psychics, vampires, fallen angels, witches and all manner of other supernatural beings. A few years ago, I read and enjoyed all of Harris’ Southern Vampire Mysteries, which become the television series True Blood. Midnight Crossroad takes place in the same universe as the Southern Vampire Mysteries and has much of the same humour and small town setting. One major difference is that Midnight Crossroad features a large ensemble cast and switches point-of-view narration between characters, which took me a little while to get used to. I also watched a bit of the television series, and will probably return to it at some point, but I preferred the slow pacing of the book because it fits the small town setting better.

Turtles All the Way Down - John Green (2017) This is YA novelist John Green’s most recent and, in my opinion, best novel. It tells the story of the teenage Aza as she reconnects with an old friend, looks into a mysterious disappearance with her best friend, and struggles with OCD. Green draws on his personal experience with OCD as well as his life as a parent to create a realistic portrayal of mental illness and parent-child relationships. The conversations between Aza and her mom remind me so much of conversations I’ve had with my mom, especially the line “I see the pain on your face and I want to take it from you.” But I think what I liked best about the book was that it does not ascribe to a curative model of mental illness, but instead presents ways of managing and living with it.

Burn for Me - Ilona Andrews (2014) I debated for a while which romance novel to include on this list before deciding on this one. Burn for Me takes place in an alternate reality where a serum was created in the Victorian period allowing humans to develop magical abilities. While the serum was quickly outlawed, the magical abilities became hereditary and magical families began to shape society. Set in a version of the present, Burn for Me follows private investigator Nevada Baylor as she becomes caught up in an investigation into a conspiracy. The novel is fast-paced and entertaining in a way the makes me think it would make an excellent action movie, and of course everyone is attractive. It also has some interesting worldbuilding as it deals with the ramifications of the altered history. However, the book is not unproblematic: the meet-cute between Nevada and the hero, Connor “Mad” Rogan, is him kidnapping her and he continues to act overprotective and hypermasculine throughout the book. Though Rogan does become a more complicated character as the novel reveals his family life, military past, and PTSD. Also, the cover art is just plain bad and not an accurate depiction of the novel.

[vitalmindandbody]

Tragic, fascinating, brilliant- life of’ wild child’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited

Two films and a TV series out soon portray the life of the jazz-age novelist and spouse of F Scott Fitzgerald

She is thought of as the original wild child, a pearl-twirling party girl who died at the age of 47 after a flaming broke out in the North Carolina sanatorium where she was a patient. Now Zelda Fitzgerald, the countries of the south belle changed jazz-age protagonist, dubbed the first American flapper by her husband and partner-in-drink Scott, is to have her own Hollywood make-over two cinemas are in the pipeline and a television series will air on Amazon Prime early next year.

All three programmes have starry mentions affixed: Jennifer Lawrence will take the lead in Zelda , a biopic directed against Ron Howard and based on Nancy Milfords best-selling biography; Scarlett Johansson will bob her fuzz for The Beautiful and The Damned ; and Christina Ricci will play the young and impetuous Zelda in the Amazon series Z: The Beginning of Everything. The name of the Tv succession comes from Scotts awestruck provide comments on satisfy Zelda: I cherish her, and thats the beginning and result of everything.

So what is it about Zelda that mesmerizes virtually 70 years after her tragic intent? In persona it is that the disturbances the couple lived through find an resemble in our own hectic times.

Interest in the Fitzgeralds has definitely been on the increase not only since Baz Luhrmanns film of The Great Gatsby in 2013 but likewise from the many similarities between their lives and operate and the period were living through right now, says Sarah Churchwell, author of the critically acclaimed Careless People: Murder, Mayhem and The Invention of the Great Gatsby .

Its a floor of boom and bust and it reverberates as “weve been” grappling with our own boom and bust, our own worries about the cost of our excess and our own social loss. The lives and fates of Scott and Zelda peculiarly simulated their eras: in the 1920 s they were roaring for all they were worth, but with the crash in 1929, everything fell apart.

It helps, more, that Zelda was so vibrant a anatomy. It begins with her elegance, says Churchwell. But too with the stories told in the 1920 s about the high jinks and fun she and Scott seemed to have. Parties really liked her: she was surprising, intelligent, astute, funny and adoration a good party. She likewise liked to be the center of scrutiny, and so had her detractors too. These stuffs combined to draw her a legend.

Scott frequently returned to their relationship in his myth, most notably in his second fiction, The Beautiful and Damned , which details the heady early days of their matrimony; and his mournful fourth, Tender Is The Night , in which the gilded daydream has faded into a more tawdry world. Zeldas exclusively novel, Save Me The Waltz , presented the relationship from her side.

They were arguably Americas first luminary pairing: a carefree golden couple who wrote their practice into the spotlight, developing their own mythology of gin-soaked dates and fun-filled nighttimes, simply to persist too long once the light-footed had started to dim. Their recklessness acquires the floor exciting and stunning, says Churchwell. But they paid a the highest price.

After a few giddy times, all the boyish promise crumbled away, leaving Scott a stunned and drunk jobbing hack in Hollywood and fetching Zelda to breakdown at the age of 30, a diagnosis of schizophrenia , now widely thought to be a bipolar affective disorder, and their own lives in and out of sanatoriums.

Her story is both fascinating and unfortunates, says Therese Anne Fowler, on whose novel Z the Amazon series is based. Here we have a woman whose knacks and vigour and ability should have stirred her a brilliant success, who was determined to be an fulfilled creator, columnist and ballet dancer in an era where married maidens were supposed to be spouses and moms, interval. Her devotion to Scott was, in many ways, her undoing[ although] he was just as imprisoned as she was. Had they cherished one another less, they might both have come to better ends.

The idea of Zelda as a bright woman captured by her duration has gained traction in recent years, with a number of occupations re-evaluating her through the prism of feminism although it is not always the easiest of fits. As early as 1974, the couples daughter Scottie balk such claims, writing the purpose of which is to vistum her father as a classic put-down spouse, whose efforts to express her sort were frustrated by a typically male chauvinist spouse were not accurate.

Writing in the New Yorker in 2013, Molly Fischer concurred , mention: Saving Zelda Fitzgerald is no easy proposition …[ she] does not want to be anyones domesticated, and theres something mortifying about the literary readiness to domesticate her, to transform an irritating girl into an appealing heroine.

The new cinemas may well further Hollywoodise Zelda, sanding away her bumpy boundaries and reinventing her as a relatable heroine for our modern times. The molding of Lawrence so often described as Americas Sweetheart in the Howard biopic is no accident.

A report about the upcoming Johansson film in the Hollywood Reporter showed it would draw on previously unreleased textile to indicate that her husband misappropriated his wifes opinions as his own.

Mark Gill, chairwoman of Millennium Films, the yield companionship behind The Beautiful and The Damned , concurs : She was massively ahead of her time and she took a vanquish for it. He plagiarized her ideas and threw them in his works. The matrimony was a codependency from inferno with a jazz-age soundtrack. The movie has, nonetheless, fastened the co-operation of the Fitzgerald estate.

Fowler agrees that there is a changing predisposition to refer our own concerns to Zelda. We do anoint her as a kind of proto-feminist heroine, even though she didnt hear herself as a feminist and didnt fully replace at anything, she says. But her original reputation is based on conventional paternalistic the terms and conditions of what the status of women, father and partner ought to be and do. Her ambitions and her insistence on engaging them were considered inappropriate and unhealthy; after her psychopathic disintegrate she was literally told that this insistence had created her divide recollection and that the path to a cure lay in giving up all aspirations that didnt conform to the paternalistic ideal.

Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence and Christina Ricci are all set to play Zelda Fitzgerald in the forthcoming products The Beautiful and the Damned, Zelda and Z: The Beginning of Everything. Composite: Getty Images

The backlash against this image is intelligible given that popular opinion of Zelda was initially driven by Ernest Hemingways notoriously caustic descriptions in A Moveable Feast , published posthumously in 1964, in which he dismissed her as insane and accused Scotts developing dependence on booze on his wife.

Our perception has very much changed, says Churchwell. We have come to sympathise with her frustration, to recognise her talents and to be more fair-minded about her selects. That said, she carefuls against attempts to create a Team Scott/ Team Zelda subdivide, as is so often the occurrence in far-famed literary partnerships. Its important to say that they always loved one another and wouldnt have appreciated parties taking surfaces Fitzgerald wrote a few years before he was dead that it was a moral responsibility that their friends understood the latter are a duo, a group and would abide that practice, even if her illness intended they couldnt live together.

Churchwell is likewise scathing about attempts to suggest Zelda had a larger role in her husbands operate than previously presumed. “Theres” those wanting to recognition Zelda with Scotts work, which is just silly and doesnt do females any preferences, she says. Its not a zero-sum activity: we are in a position recognise both of them for who they were.

Zelda had many abilities, but where writing was pertained she was probably more ill when she started to hone her knacks, and while it is true that Scott didnt especially want her to write partly out of territoriality but partly because medical doctors told him it was bad for her its too true-blue that her work isnt in the same class as his. Her individual sentences are often lovely, and she can create a mood and has clever revolves of word but her studies tend to be sketches rather than full fibs. If they had induced different options, maybe she could have been an important scribe, but the reality is that she wasnt.

Perhaps, then, the real key to Zeldas continued pull on our imagery lies not in her study but in her modernity. I dont want to live I want to adoration firstly and live incidentally, she proclaimed and it is that vitality and avarice for all of lifes knowledge, both good and bad, that extends down over the decades, granting each generation to see something new.

Z: The Beginning of Everything will air on Amazon Prime early next year

THEY SAID

I have rarely known a woman who uttered herself so delightfully and freshly: she had no ready-made words on the one handwriting and no striving for gist on the other. Critic Edmund Wilson

I fell in love with her spirit, her candour and her blaze self-respect, and its these occasions I would believe in even if countries around the world indulged in wild ideas that she wasnt all that she should be.

F Scott Fitzgerald

I did not have a single pity of insignificance, or shyness, or suspense, and no moral principles.

All I crave is to be very young ever and very irresponsible, and is of the view that my life is my own to live and be happy and succumb in my own way to please myself.

Other publics ideas of us are dependent mainly on what theyve hoped for.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Tragic, fascinating, brilliant- life of’ wild child’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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Why Is Painting Styles Over The Years So Famous? - Painting Styles Over The Years

In backward June, the San Francisco Lath of Education aggregate to boldness a botheration that had afresh been brought its attention. An 83-year-old, Depression-era mural on the walls of one San Francisco aerial academy had started to bother some people. Corrective by left-leaning artisan Victor Arnautoff, the 13-panel artwork in George Washington Aerial Academy had been created through a New Deal art program. Arnautoff had the assignment of painting Activity of Washington, which spanned a whopping 1,600 aboveboard feet.

Famous Self-Portraits Show Self-Portraiture Trend Throughout .. | painting styles over the years So as not to bless the aboriginal admiral excessively, Arnautoff corrective Washington continuing abreast the anatomy of a asleep Native American man, and he additionally depicts apprenticed African Americans. Today, afterwards about a century, the mural is not as advanced as it already was in the eyes of the public. “It’s consistently an affair aback anyone wants to abolish or awning or displace art,” Lath Vice Admiral Mark Sanchez said. “But there are countervailing issues we had to attending at as well. We accept acceptance shouldn’t be apparent to agitated adumbration — that it’s degrading.” The academy lath voted absolutely to abort the mural, admitting not anybody agreed with its post-woke interpretation. Aback one abecedary asked her apprentice English chic to abode either in favor of or adjoin the mural, 45 out of 49 acceptance accurate it. “The adorn shows us absolutely how barbarous colonization and genocide absolutely were and are," one apprentice wrote. "The adorn is a admonishing and admonition of the blemish of our anointed leaders.”

Expressionism | Definition, Characteristics, Artists .. | painting styles over the years Two months later, the opposing abandon accomplished a compromise: The mural would be covered up but not corrective over. Still, it will no best be seen. But why stop there? Art censors of the world, why not additionally adumbrate Francisco Goya's The Third of May 1808 or Picasso's Guernica, both amazing images of conflict? In fact, a reproduction of Guernica was briefly covered up at the United Nations added than 15 years ago during a accent about the war in Iraq. It acclimated to be that if you censored art, you had article to hide. Now, it agency you're not accessible to face reality. After decades of balustrade adjoin censorship in the arts, some liberals accept now absolutely accepted it. Statues of Southern generals and Christopher Columbus are already passé. There’s a advancing new development in art criticism amid the elites, and it has annihilation to do with whether Renoir was ist in his claimed life. Now, it’s not abundant to appraisal bent artists or their "problematic" subjects. You charge additionally angle adjoin depictions of bad things — because we are allegedly extemporaneous to see them.

Art of Europe - Wikipedia - painting styles over the years | painting styles over the years Comedian and extra Sarah Silverman abstruse this beforehand this year. She appeared in blackface during a ball account in 2007 to accomplish fun of ever woke liberals. This year, Silverman said it came aback to chaw her. “I afresh was activity to do a movie, two canicule on a movie, a absolutely candied part,” she said on a podcast this summer. “Then, at 11 p.m. the night before, they accursed me because they saw a account of me in blackface from that episode.” It didn't amount that her accomplished act was meant to accomplish fun of bodies who adeptness use blackface. Her agency were artlessly too transgressive.

My 'Hare' styles over the years in 8 | Watercolor animals .. | painting styles over the years This fashionable borderland in art censorship is additionally afflictive academia, and not aloof aerial schools. At Maryland’s Washington College, an antiracist ball was afresh canceled because it depicted “some characters dressed in KKK robes.” Because the bad guys were Ku Klux Klan members, The Foreigner, a pro-immigrant comedy, was canceled an hour afore its aftermost dress rehearsal. Heaven forbid a assignment of art characterize annihilation absolutely evil. Author Joyce Carol Oates afresh regretted that Flannery O'Connor's antiracist abbreviate adventure The Artificial N----- was afar from an album because “publishers banned it on the area of an ‘offensive’ title.” Oates explained that it was “futile to explain that O'Connor was excoriating racism, not announcement it.” Art censors may argue, as Sanchez did about the Washington mural, that examination agitated or advancing adumbration is "degrading." But there's addition botheration that art admirers face, one that is possibly the best aspersing of all: ignorance. Aback you're so abashed of behind people, you lose your adeptness to accomplish art, and aback you debris to abode evil, you lose your adeptness to stop it.

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[vitalmindandbody]

Tragic, fascinating, bright- living for’ wild child’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited

Two films and a Tv series out soon portray the life of the jazz-age novelist and spouse of F Scott Fitzgerald

She is thought of as the original wild child, a pearl-twirling party daughter who died at the age of 47 after a shoot breaks out in the North Carolina sanatorium where she was a patient. Now Zelda Fitzgerald, the southern belle swerved jazz-age heroine, dubbed the first American flapper by her husband and partner-in-drink Scott, is to have her own Hollywood make-over two movies are in the pipeline and a television series will air on Amazon Prime early next year.

All three projections have starry refers attached: Jennifer Lawrence will take the lead in Zelda , a biopic directed by Ron Howard and based on Nancy Milfords best-selling profile; Scarlett Johansson will bob her “hairs-breadth” for The Beautiful and The Damned ; and Christina Ricci will play young persons and impulsive Zelda in the Amazon series Z: The Beginning of Everything. The entitle of the TV sequence comes from Scotts awestruck comment on session Zelda: I cherish her, and thats the beginning and end of everything.

So what is it about Zelda that mesmerizes nearly 70 years after her heartbreaking point? In place it is that the disturbances the couple lived through find an resemble in our own stormy times.

Interest in the Fitzgeralds has definitely been on the projected increase not only since Baz Luhrmanns film of The Great Gatsby in 2013 but too from the many parallels between their lives and effort and the period were living through right now, says Sarah Churchwell, generator of the critically acclaimed Careless People: Slaying, Mayhem and The Invention of the Great Gatsby .

Its a storey of thunder and failure and it resonates as we are grappling with our own boom and failure, our own worries about the cost of our excesses and our own social loss. Human life and fortunes of Scott and Zelda peculiarly mimicked their ages: in the 1920 s they were roaring for all they were worth, but with the disintegrate in 1929, everything fell apart.

It helps, extremely, that Zelda was so vibrant a flesh. It begins with her knockout, says Churchwell. But likewise with the tales told in the 1920 s about the high jinks and fun she and Scott seemed to have. Parties really liked her: she was surprising, smart, clever, entertaining and adoration a good defendant. She too liked to be the centre of attention, and so had her detractors very. These concepts combined to reach her a legend.

Scott repeatedly returned to their relationship in his fiction, most notably in his second tale, The Beautiful and Damned , which details the heady early days of their matrimony; and his doleful fourth, Tender Is The Night , in which the gilded fantasy has faded into a more tawdry world. Zeldas only novel, Save Me The Waltz , presented the relationship from her side.

They were arguably Americas first fame pairing: a carefree golden duo who wrote their method into the spotlight, making their own myth of gin-soaked days and fun-filled nights, merely to dawdle too long formerly the light-footed had started to dim. Their recklessness represents the tale exciting and dramatic, says Churchwell. But they paid a the highest price.

After a few giddy years, all the youthful hope deteriorated away, leaving Scott a stupefied and drunk jobbing hack in Hollywood and introducing Zelda to breakdown at the age of 30, a diagnosis of schizophrenia , now widely thought to be a bipolar affective disorder, and their own lives in and out of sanatoriums.

Her story is both fascinating and lamentables, says Therese Anne Fowler, on whose novel Z the Amazon series is based. Here we have a woman whose aptitudes and energy and intellect “shouldve been” prepared her a brilliant success, who was determined to be an fulfilled master, scribe and ballet dancer in an era where married girls were supposed to be spouses and moms, interval. Her devotion to Scott was, in many ways, her undoing[ although] he was just as imprisoned as she was. Had they adoration each other less, they are likely both have come to better ends.

The idea of Zelda as a bright lady captured by her duration has gained traction in recent years, with a number of projects re-evaluating her through the prism of feminism although it is not always the most wonderful of fits. As early as 1974, the couples daughter Scottie resisted such pretensions, writing the purpose of which is to viewpoint her father as a classic put-down wife, whose efforts to express her quality were thwarted by a commonly male chauvinist pig partner were not accurate.

Writing in the New Yorker in 2013, Molly Fischer agreed , note: Saving Zelda Fitzgerald is no easy overture …[ she] does not want to be anyones pet, and theres something disconcerting about the literary readiness to domesticate her, to change an infuriating wife into an appealing heroine.

The brand-new cinemas may well further Hollywoodise Zelda, sanding away her bumpy borders and reinventing her as a relatable protagonist for our modern times. The casting of Lawrence so often described as Americas Sweetheart in the Howard biopic is no accident.

A report about the upcoming Johansson film in the Hollywood Reporter proposed it would draw on previously unreleased material to indicate that her husband embezzled his wifes notions as his own.

Mark Gill, chairwoman of Millennium Films, the yield company behind The Beautiful and The Damned , concurs : She was massively ahead of her period and she took a lash for it. He stole her ideas and employed them in his notebooks. The marriage was a codependency from blaze with a jazz-age soundtrack. The movie has, however, fastened the co-operation of the Fitzgerald estate.

Fowler agrees that there is a flourishing bent to pertain our own concerns to Zelda. We do anoint her as a kind of proto-feminist protagonist, even though she didnt investigate herself as a feminist and didnt fully succeed at anything, she says. But her original honour is based on conventional paternalistic the terms and conditions of what the status of women, mother and spouse ought to be and do. Her aspirations and her demand on prosecuting them were considered inappropriate and undesirable; after her psychopathic disintegrate she was literally told that this insistence had created her split psyche and that the path to a panacea lay in giving up all passions that didnt conform to the paternalistic ideal.

Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence and Christina Ricci are all set to play Zelda Fitzgerald in the forthcoming makes The Beautiful and the Damned, Zelda and Z: The Beginning of Everything. Composite: Getty Images

The backlash against this image is comprehensible given that popular opinion of Zelda was initially driven by Ernest Hemingways notoriously corrosive descriptions in A Moveable Feast , publicized posthumously in 1964, in which he dismissed her as insane and accused Scotts changing dependence on alcohol on his wife.

Our perception has very much changed, says Churchwell. We have come to sympathise with her resentment, to recognise her knacks and to be more fair-minded about her choices. That said, she precautions against attempts to create a Team Scott/ Team Zelda fraction, as is so often the lawsuit in famed literary partnerships. Its important to say that they ever cherished one another and wouldnt have appreciated beings taking backs Fitzgerald wrote a few years before he was dead that it was a moral imperative that their friends understood they were a pair, a section and would remain that space, even if her illness aim they couldnt live together.

Churchwell is too scathing about attempts to suggest Zelda had a larger role in her husbands cultivate than previously presumed. There are those wanting to ascribe Zelda with Scotts work, which is just silly and doesnt do wives any promotions, she says. Its not a zero-sum recreation: we can recognise both of them for who they were.

Zelda had numerous abilities, but where writing was concerned she was probably too ill when she started to hone her knacks, and while it is true that Scott didnt particularly want her to write partly out of territoriality but partly because her doctors told him it was bad for her its too true-blue that her work isnt in the same class as his. Her individual convicts are often lovely, and she can create a climate and has clever alters of phrase but her works tend to be sketches rather than full tales. If they had realized different alternatives, perhaps she could have been an important writer, but the reality is that she wasnt.

Perhaps, then, the true key to Zeldas prolonged pull on our imagination lies not in her wreak but in her modernity. I dont live their lives I want to cherish firstly and live incidentally, she exclaimed and it is that vigor and gluttony for all of lifes suffers, both both good and bad, that extends down over the decades, giving each generation to see something new.

Z: The Beginning of Everything will air on Amazon Prime early next year

THEY SAID

I have rarely known the status of women who carried herself so delightfully and freshly: she had no ready-made terms on the one mitt and no striving for impression on the other. Critic Edmund Wilson

I fell in love with her gallantry, her seriousnes and her flaming self-respect, and its these events I would believe in even if the whole world gratified in wild surmises that she wasnt all that she should be.

F Scott Fitzgerald

I did not have a single impression of inferiority, or shyness, or suspense, and no moral principles.

All I miss is to be very young ever and very irresponsible, and to feel that my life is my own to live and be happy and croak in my own lane to delight myself.

Other publics ideas of us are dependent largely on what theyve hoped for.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Tragic, fascinating, bright- living for’ wild child’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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[vitalmindandbody]

Tragic, fascinating, bright- living for’ wild child’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited

Two films and a Tv series out soon portray the living standards of the jazz-age scribe and wife of F Scott Fitzgerald

She is thought of as the original wild child, a pearl-twirling party girl who died at the age of 47 after a burn broke out in the North Carolina sanatorium where she was a patient. Now Zelda Fitzgerald, the southern belle made jazz-age protagonist, dubbed the first American flapper by her husband and partner-in-drink Scott, is to have her own Hollywood make-over two movies are in the pipeline and a television series will air on Amazon Prime early next year.

All three activities have starry refers fastened: Jennifer Lawrence will take the lead in Zelda , a biopic directed against Ron Howard and based on Nancy Milfords best-selling biography; Scarlett Johansson will bob her hair for The Beautiful and The Damned ; and Christina Ricci will play the young and impetuous Zelda in the Amazon series Z: The Beginning of Everything. The deed of the Tv serial comes from Scotts awestruck provide comments on fulfill Zelda: I cherish her, and thats the beginning and terminate of everything.

So what is it about Zelda that mesmerizes almost 70 years after her lamentable terminate? In part it is that the agitations the couple lived through find an resemble in our own tumultuous times.

Interest in the Fitzgeralds has definitely been on the projected increase is not simply since Baz Luhrmanns film of The Great Gatsby in 2013 but likewise from the many latitudes between their lives and cultivate and the period were living through right now, says Sarah Churchwell, generator of the critically acclaimed Careless Beings: Assassinate, Mayhem and The Invention of the Great Gatsby .

Its a narrative of thunder and failure and it resonates as we are grappling with our own boom and failure, our own worries about the costs of our plethoras and our own social outages. The lives and lucks of Scott and Zelda peculiarly simulated their periods: in the 1920 s the latter are roaring for all they were worth, but with the disintegrate in 1929, everything fell apart.

It helps, too, that Zelda was so vibrant a figure. It begins with her beauty, says Churchwell. But likewise with the fibs told in the 1920 s about the high jinks and fun she and Scott seemed to have. Parties really liked her: she was surprising, smart, shrewd, funny and desired a good defendant. She also liked to be the center of notice, and so had her detractors very. These happens combined to reach her a legend.

Scott repeatedly returned to their relationship in his story, most notably in his second novel, The Beautiful and Damned , which details the heady early days of their marriage; and his sorrowful fourth, Tender Is The Night , in which the gilded reverie has faded into a more tawdry reality. Zeldas simply novel, Save Me The Waltz , presented the relationship from her side.

They were arguably Americas first fame pairing: a carefree golden duet who wrote their behavior into the spotlight, creating their own mythology of gin-soaked periods and fun-filled darkness, merely to remain too long formerly the light-headed to begin to dim. Their recklessness moves the narration exciting and drastic, says Churchwell. But they paid a the highest price.

After a few giddy times, all the youthful predict crumbled away, leaving Scott a stunned and drunk jobbing hacker in Hollywood and introducing Zelda to breakdown at the age of 30, a diagnosis of schizophrenia , now widely thought to be a bipolar illness, and a life in and out of sanatoriums.

Her story is both fascinating and appallings, says Therese Anne Fowler, on whose novel Z the Amazon series is based. Here we have a woman whose expertises and vitality and ability should have shaped her a bright success, who was determined to be an attained master, novelist and ballet dancer in an age where married wives were supposed to be brides and moms, age. Her devotion to Scott was, in many ways, her undoing[ although] he was just as imprisoned as she was. Had they adored each other less, they are likely both have come to better ends.

The idea of Zelda as a bright girl trapped by her day has gained traction in recent years, with a number of projects re-evaluating her through the prism of feminism although it is not always the easiest of fits. As early as 1974, the couples daughter Scottie refused such assertions, writing the purpose of which is to view her mother as a classic put-down spouse, whose efforts to express her nature were thwarted by a often male chauvinist husband were no longer accurate.

Writing in the New Yorker in 2013, Molly Fischer agreed , observe: Saving Zelda Fitzgerald is no easy proposition …[ she] does not want to be anyones domesticated, and theres something embarrassing about the literary readiness to domesticate her, to change an exasperating woman into an appealing heroine.

The new cinemas may well further Hollywoodise Zelda, sanding away her rough peripheries and reinventing her as a relatable heroine for our modern times. The molding of Lawrence so often described as Americas Sweetheart in the Howard biopic is no accident.

A report about the upcoming Johansson film in the Hollywood Reporter indicated it would draw on previously unreleased substance to indicate that her husband stole his wifes thoughts as his own.

Mark Gill, chairperson of Millennium Films, the yield busines behind The Beautiful and The Damned , concurs : She was massively ahead of her time and she took a flogging for it. He embezzled her ideas and threw them in his works. The marriage was a codependency from hell with a jazz-age soundtrack. The film has, nonetheless, locked the co-operation of the Fitzgerald estate.

Fowler agrees that there is a thriving partiality to refer our own concerns to Zelda. We do anoint her as a kind of proto-feminist heroine, even though she didnt learn herself as a feminist and didnt amply replace at anything, she says. But her original reputation is based on conventional paternalistic the terms and conditions of what the status of women, father and spouse ought to be and do. Her aspirations and her insistence on prosecuting them were considered inappropriate and unhealthy; after her psychotic escape she was literally told that this insistence had created her separate memory and that the path to a dry lay in giving up all desires that didnt conform to the paternalistic ideal.

Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence and Christina Ricci are all set to play Zelda Fitzgerald in the forthcoming makes The Beautiful and the Damned, Zelda and Z: The Beginning of Everything. Composite: Getty Images

The backlash against this image is understandable bearing in mind the fact that popular opinion of Zelda was initially driven by Ernest Hemingways notoriously corrosive descriptions in A Moveable Feast , wrote posthumously in 1964, in which he rejected her as insane and accused Scotts ripening dependence on glas on his wife.

Our perception has very much changed, says Churchwell. We have come to sympathise with her frustration, to recognise her endowments and has become still more fair-minded about her alternatives. That said, she precautions against attempts to create a Team Scott/ Team Zelda segment, as is so often the subject in famed literary partnerships. Its important to say that they always desired one another and wouldnt have appreciated people taking sides Fitzgerald wrote a few years before he died that it was a moral imperative that their friends understood the latter are a duo, a unit and would stay that style, even if her illness connote they couldnt live together.

Churchwell is also scathing about attempts to suggest Zelda had a larger role in her husbands cultivate than previously presumed. There are people who want to credit Zelda with Scotts work, which is just silly and doesnt do dames any promotes, she says. Its not a zero-sum tournament: we are in a position recognise both of them for who they were.

Zelda had numerous aptitudes, but where writing was concerned she was probably more ill when she started to sharpen her endowments, and while it is true that Scott didnt specially want her to write partly out of territoriality but partly because her doctors told him it was bad for her its likewise true-life that her work isnt in the same class as his. Her individual convicts are often lovely, and she can create a mood and has clever swerves of word but her undertakings tend to be sketches rather than full storeys. If they had constructed different picks, perhaps she could have been an important writer, but the reality is that she wasnt.

Perhaps, then, the true key to Zeldas sustained pull on our resource lies not in her operate but in her modernity. I dont want to live I want to desire first and live incidentally, she proclaimed and it is that vigor and avarice for all of lifes experiences, both both good and bad, that stretches down over the decades, earmarking each generation to see something new.

Z: The Beginning of Everything will air on Amazon Prime early next year

THEY SAID

I have rarely known the status of women who expressed herself so delightfully and freshly: she had no ready-made terms on the one handwriting and no striving for result on the other. Critic Edmund Wilson

I fell in love with her fortitude, her sincerity and her flame self-respect, and its these happens I would believe in even if countries around the world gratified in wild ideas that she wasnt all that she should be.

F Scott Fitzgerald

I did not have a single pity of insignificance, or shyness, or disbelieve, and no moral principles.

All I crave is to be very young ever and very irresponsible, and to feel that my life is my own to live and be happy and die in my own practice to delight myself.

Other people ideas of us are dependent predominantly on what theyve hoped for.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Tragic, fascinating, bright- living for’ wild child’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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[vitalmindandbody]

Tragic, fascinating, bright- life of’ wild child’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited

Two movies and a TV serial out soon portray the life of the jazz-age novelist and spouse of F Scott Fitzgerald

She is thought of as the original wild child, a pearl-twirling party daughter who died at persons under the age of 47 after a attack breaks out in the North Carolina sanatorium where she was a patient. Now Zelda Fitzgerald, the southern belle returned jazz-age protagonist, dubbed the first American flapper by her husband and partner-in-drink Scott, is to have her own Hollywood make-over two movies are in the pipeline and a television series will air on Amazon Prime early next year.

All three jobs have starry names affixed: Jennifer Lawrence will take the lead in Zelda , a biopic be administered by Ron Howard and based on Nancy Milfords best-selling account; Scarlett Johansson will bob her whisker for The Beautiful and The Damned ; and Christina Ricci will play the young and impetuous Zelda in the Amazon series Z: The Beginning of Everything. The entitlement of the TV succession comes from Scotts awestruck comment on see Zelda: I desire her, and thats the beginning and end of everything.

So what is it about Zelda that mesmerizes almost 70 times after her dreadful cease? In fraction it is that the convulsions the couple lived through find an resemble in our own tumultuous times.

Interest in the Fitzgeralds has definitely been on the projected increase is not simply since Baz Luhrmanns film of The Great Gatsby in 2013 but too from the many latitudes between their lives and piece and the period were living through right now, answers Sarah Churchwell, generator of the critically acclaimed Careless Beings: Slaying, Mayhem and The Invention of the Great Gatsby .

Its a narration of thunder and bust and it reverberates as we are grappling with our own thunder and failure, our own concerns about the costs of our plethoras and our own social failures. Human life and fates of Scott and Zelda peculiarly mimicked their eras: in the 1920 s they were roaring for all they were value, but with the gate-crash in 1929, everything fell apart.

It helps, extremely, that Zelda was so vibrant a representation. It begins with her knockout, reads Churchwell. But likewise with the fibs told in the 1920 s about the high jinks and fun she and Scott seemed to have. People really liked her: she was surprising, smart, astute, funny and adoration a good defendant. She likewise liked to be the centre of tending, and so had her detractors more. These happenings combined to make her a legend.

Scott repeatedly returned to their relationship in his myth, most notably in his second fiction, The Beautiful and Damned , which details the heady early days of their wedlock; and his doleful fourth, Tender Is The Night , in which the gilded reverie has faded into a more tawdry actuality. Zeldas simply novel, Save Me The Waltz , presented the relationship from her side.

They were arguably Americas first luminary pairing: a carefree golden pair who wrote their way into the spotlight, generating their own myth of gin-soaked days and fun-filled nights, merely to linger too long formerly the light had started to dim. Their recklessness becomes the storey exciting and spectacular, mentions Churchwell. But they paid a high price.

After a few giddy years, all the youthful predict crumbled away, leaving Scott a stupefied and drunk jobbing hack in Hollywood and accompanying Zelda to breakdown at the age of 30, a diagnosis of schizophrenia , now widely thought to be a bipolar illness, and a life in and out of sanatoriums.

Her story is both fascinating and regrettables, tells Therese Anne Fowler, on whose novel Z the Amazon series is based. Here we have a woman whose talents and vigour and intellect should have realise her a bright success, who was determined to be an achieved master, scribe and ballet dancer in an period where married girls were supposed to be wives and mothers, stage. Her devotion to Scott was, in many ways, her undoing[ although] he was just as imprisoned as she was. Had they affection one another less, they might both have come to better ends.

The idea of Zelda as a bright woman trapped by her epoch has gained traction in recent years, with a number of cultivates re-evaluating her through the prism of feminism although it is not ever the most wonderful of fits. As early as 1974, the couples daughter Scottie repelled such assertions, writing the purpose of which is to belief her father as a classic put-down wife, whose efforts to express her nature were thwarted by a often male chauvinist pig partner were no longer accurate.

Writing in the New Yorker in 2013, Molly Fischer agreed , noting: Saving Zelda Fitzgerald is no easy hypothesi …[ she] does not want to be anyones pet, and theres something baffling about the literary readiness to domesticate her, to change an exasperating woman into an appealing heroine.

The new movies may well further Hollywoodise Zelda, sanding away her rough lines and reinventing her as a relatable heroine for our modern times. The molding of Lawrence so often was regarded as Americas Sweetheart in the Howard biopic is no accident.

A report about the upcoming Johansson film in the Hollywood Reporter showed it would draw on previously unreleased fabric explained that her husband embezzled his wifes suggestions as his own.

Mark Gill, chairman of Millennium Films, the yield corporation behind The Beautiful and The Damned , concurs : She was massively ahead of her period and she took a vanquish for it. He plagiarized her ideas and made them in his works. The wedlock was a codependency from blaze with a jazz-age soundtrack. The film has, nonetheless, secured the co-operation of the Fitzgerald estate.

Fowler agrees that there is a developing propensity to apply our own concerns to Zelda. We do anoint her as a kind of proto-feminist heroine, even though she didnt receive herself as a feminist and didnt amply replace at anything, she replies. But her original reputation is based on conventional paternalistic standards of what a woman, mother and spouse ought to be and do. Her ambitions and her insistence on engaging them were considered inappropriate and unhealthy; after her psychotic smash she was literally told that this insistence had created her split mind and that the path to a antidote lay in giving up all desires that didnt conform to the paternalistic ideal.

Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence and Christina Ricci are all set to play Zelda Fitzgerald in the forthcoming productions The Beautiful and the Damned, Zelda and Z: The Beginning of Everything. Composite: Getty Images

The backlash against this image is intelligible given that popular opinion of Zelda was initially driven by Ernest Hemingways notoriously corrosive descriptions in A Moveable Feast , produced posthumously in 1964, in which he dismissed her as insane and blamed Scotts changing dependence on alcohol on his wife.

Our perception has very much changed, replies Churchwell. We have come to sympathise with her thwarting, to recognise her gifts and to be more fair-minded about her selects. That read, she prudences against attempts to create a Team Scott/ Team Zelda segment, as is so often the case in famous literary partnerships. Its important to say that they always affection each other and wouldnt have appreciated people taking surfaces Fitzgerald wrote a few years before he died that it was a moral imperative that their friends understood they were a pair, a component and would stand that behavior, even if her illness aim they couldnt live together.

Churchwell is too scathing about attempts to suggest Zelda had a larger role in her husbands labor than previously presumed. There are people who want to credit Zelda with Scotts work, which is just silly and doesnt do girls any promotes, she does. Its not a zero-sum play: we are in a position recognise both of them for who they were.

Zelda had many endowments, but where writing was referred she was probably extremely ill when she started to sharpen her talents, and while it is true that Scott didnt especially want her to write partly out of territoriality but partly because medical doctors told him it was bad for her its too genuine that her work isnt in the same class as his. Her individual sentences are often lovely, and she can create a mood and has clever diverts of term but her toils tend to be sketches rather than full stories. If they had represented different selects, maybe she could have been an important scribe, but current realities is that she wasnt.

Perhaps, then, the true key to Zeldas resumed pull on our resource lies not in her drive but in her modernity. I dont live their lives I want to cherish first and live incidentally, she exclaimed and it is that vitality and desire for all of lifes events, both good and bad, that stretchings down over the activities of the decade, tolerating each generation to see something new.

Z: The Beginning of Everything will air on Amazon Prime early next year

THEY SAID

I have rarely known the status of women who uttered herself so delightfully and freshly: she had no ready-made phrases on the one handwriting and no striving for effect on the other. Critic Edmund Wilson

I fell in love with her courage, her candour and her flaming self-respect, and its these circumstances I would believe in even if the whole world revelled in wild feelings that she wasnt all that she should be.

F Scott Fitzgerald

I did not have a single sympathy of insignificance, or shyness, or uncertainty, and no moral principles.

All I miss is to be very young always and very irresponsible, and is of the view that my life is my own to live and be happy and croak in my own channel to delight myself.

Other folks ideas of us are dependent primarily on what theyve hoped for.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Tragic, fascinating, bright- life of’ wild child’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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[vitalmindandbody]

Tragic, fascinating, bright- living for’ wild progeny’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited

Two films and a TV line out soon portray the life of the jazz-age novelist and spouse of F Scott Fitzgerald

She is thought of as the original wild child, a pearl-twirling defendant girl who died at the age of 47 after a ardor broke out in the North Carolina sanatorium where she was a patient. Now Zelda Fitzgerald, the southern belle grew jazz-age heroine, dubbed the first American flapper by her husband and partner-in-drink Scott, is to have her own Hollywood make-over two films are in the pipeline and a television series will air on Amazon Prime early next year.

All three activities have starry appoints fixed: Jennifer Lawrence will take the lead in Zelda , a biopic directed against Ron Howard and based on Nancy Milfords best-selling biography; Scarlett Johansson will bob her fuzz for The Beautiful and The Damned ; and Christina Ricci will play young persons and impetuous Zelda in the Amazon series Z: The Beginning of Everything. The designation of the TV serial comes from Scotts awestruck provide comments on meet Zelda: I love her, and thats the beginning and end of everything.

So what is it about Zelda that fascinates nearly 70 times after her sad discontinue? In persona it is that the turmoils the couple lived through find an echo in our own hectic times.

Interest in the Fitzgeralds will no doubt been on the projected increase is not simply since Baz Luhrmanns film of The Great Gatsby in 2013 but too from the many parallels between their lives and production and the period were living through right now, does Sarah Churchwell, author of the critically acclaimed Careless Parties: Slaying, Mayhem and The Invention of the Great Gatsby .

Its a narrative of thunder and bust and it resonates as “were about” grappling with our own boom and failure, our own concern about the cost of our extravagances and our own social lacks. The lives and lucks of Scott and Zelda peculiarly mimicked their periods: in the 1920 s they were roaring for all they were value, but with the clang in 1929, everything descended apart.

It helps, too, that Zelda was so vibrant a digit. It begins with her beauty, does Churchwell. But likewise with the floors told in the 1920 s about the high jinks and recreation she and Scott seemed to have. Beings really liked her: she was surprising, intelligent, astute, amusing and adoration a good defendant. She too liked to be the centre of attention, and so had her detractors very. These occasions combined to draw her a legend.

Scott repeatedly returned to their relationship in his myth, most notably in his second novel, The Beautiful and Damned , which details the exhilarating early days of their union; and his mournful fourth, Tender Is The Night , in which the gilded daydream has faded into a more tawdry reality. Zeldas simply novel, Save Me The Waltz , presented the relationship from her side.

They were arguably Americas first fame pairing: a carefree golden couple who wrote their course into the spotlight, composing their own myth of gin-soaked days and fun-filled nights, simply to linger too long once the light-headed had started to dim. Their recklessness sees the fib exciting and dramatic, announces Churchwell. But they paid a the highest price.

After a few giddy times, all the youthful promise deteriorated away, leaving Scott a perplexed and drunk jobbing hack in Hollywood and delivering Zelda to breakdown at the age of 30, a diagnosis of schizophrenia , now widely thought to be a bipolar illness, and a life in and out of sanatoriums.

Her story is both fascinating and unfortunates, announces Therese Anne Fowler, on whose novel Z the Amazon series is based. Here we have a woman whose flairs and vitality and ability “shouldve been” became her a brilliant success, who was determined to be an accomplished creator, columnist and ballet dancer in an age where married girls were supposed to be wives and fathers, period. Her devotion to Scott was, in many ways, her undoing[ although] he was just as imprisoned as she was. Had they adored each other less, they might both have come to better ends.

The idea of Zelda as a bright girl caught by her period has gained traction in recent years, with a number of pieces re-evaluating her through the prism of feminism although it is not always the most wonderful of fits. As early as 1974, the couples daughter Scottie refused such affirms, writing that to make efforts to vistum her baby as a classic put-down spouse, whose efforts to express her quality were frustrated by a normally male chauvinist husband were no longer accurate.

Writing in the New Yorker in 2013, Molly Fischer agreed , mention: Saving Zelda Fitzgerald is no easy-going proposition …[ she] does not want to be anyones baby, and theres something mortifying about the literary readiness to domesticate her, to alter an irritating girl into an appealing heroine.

The new films may well further Hollywoodise Zelda, sanding away her bumpy borders and reinventing her as a relatable heroine for our modern times. The molding of Lawrence so often was regarded as Americas Sweetheart in the Howard biopic is no accident.

A report about the upcoming Johansson film in the Hollywood Reporter suggested it would draw on previously unreleased cloth to indicate that her husband stole his wifes ideas as his own.

Mark Gill, chairwoman of Millennium Films, the production fellowship behind The Beautiful and The Damned , agrees : She was massively ahead of her time and she took a defeat for it. He plagiarized her ideas and gave them in his notebooks. The wedding was a codependency from blaze with a jazz-age soundtrack. The movie has, nonetheless, secured the co-operation of the Fitzgerald estate.

Fowler agrees that there is a thriving propensity to utilize our own concerns to Zelda. We do anoint her as a kind of proto-feminist heroine, even though she didnt visualize herself as a feminist and didnt fully attain at anything, she supposes. But her original honour is based on conventional paternalistic standards of what the status of women, baby and bride ought to be and do. Her desires and her insistence on prosecuting them were considered inappropriate and undesirable; after her psychopathic crack she was literally told that this insistence had created her divide psyche and that the path to a antidote lay in giving up all passions that didnt conform to the paternalistic ideal.

Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence and Christina Ricci are all set to play Zelda Fitzgerald in the forthcoming yields The Beautiful and the Damned, Zelda and Z: The Beginning of Everything. Composite: Getty Images

The backlash against this image is understandable considering the fact that popular opinion of Zelda was initially driven by Ernest Hemingways notoriously corrosive descriptions in A Moveable Feast , produced posthumously in 1964, in which he dismissed her as insane and accused Scotts flourishing dependence on beverage on his wife.

Our perception has very much changed, mentions Churchwell. We have come to sympathise with her frustration, to recognise her endows and has become still more fair-minded about her alternatives. That mentioned, she cautions against attempts to create a Team Scott/ Team Zelda divide, as is so often the subject in famed literary partnerships. Its important to say that they always desired each other and wouldnt have appreciated beings taking slopes Fitzgerald wrote a few years before he was dead that it was a moral obligation that their friends understood they were a pair, a component and would abide that behavior, even if her illness necessitate they couldnt live together.

Churchwell is also scathing about attempts to suggest Zelda had a larger role in her husbands make than previously presumed. There are people who want to credit Zelda with Scotts work, which is just silly and doesnt do females any prefers, she mentions. Its not a zero-sum competition: we can recognise both of them for who they were.

Zelda had many aptitudes, but where writing was pertained she was probably extremely ill when she started to hone her gifts, and while it is true that Scott didnt especially want her to write partly out of territoriality but partly because medical doctors told him it was bad for her its also true-life that her work isnt in the same class as his. Her individual sentences are often lovely, and she can create a humor and has clever comes of phrase but her makes tend to be sketches rather than full stories. If they had acquired different selections, perhaps she could have been an important scribe, but current realities is that she wasnt.

Perhaps, then, the real key to Zeldas resumed pull on our imagination lies not in her design but in her modernity. I dont want to live I want to cherish firstly and live incidentally, she extol and it is that verve and desire for all of lifes know-hows, both good and bad, that unfolds down over the decades, granting each generation to see something new.

Z: The Beginning of Everything will air on Amazon Prime early next year

THEY SAID

I have rarely known the status of women who uttered herself so delightfully and freshly: she had no ready-made words on the one side and no striving for outcome on the other. Critic Edmund Wilson

I fell in love with her fearlessnes, her honesty and her flame self-respect, and its these happenings I would believe in even if the whole world pandered in wild surmises that she wasnt all that she should be.

F Scott Fitzgerald

I did not have a single inclination of insignificance, or shyness, or disbelief, and no moral principles.

All I miss is to be very young always and very irresponsible, and to feel that my life is my own to live and be happy and croak in my own direction to delight myself.

Other families ideas of us are dependent predominantly on what theyve hoped for.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Tragic, fascinating, bright- living for’ wild progeny’ Zelda Fitzgerald revisited appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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