#there was a lovely creator who actually made a list of black period pieces to watch in response to us not getting much from MOTA

[latibvles]

so in an effort to platform black people in period pieces you’re also giving content made for the Tuskegee airmen (fics, gifs, etc) the platform they deserve, right? you’re also showing love and appreciation to the many period pieces that do exist for black people, right? You’re not just complaining to complain because you don’t like the show, but to show that you want more & better representation, r i g h t?

[whentheynameyoujoy]

So the ATLA Movie Is... Good, Actually?

Just kidding, of course it’s not, it’s so bad it sucked the paint off my walls. But after ten years of people pointing out its glaring flaws, why would anyone bother talking about this garbage heap if not to go the other direction? So here’s a very brief and very superficial list of things the movie does get kinda... not atrociously wrong.

And they won’t be fake hipster pokes, like “It’s fun to laugh at”, “The Rifftrax for this is OK”, or “Kudos to the actress for managing to say we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs with a straight face”.

(though now that I mentioned it, it is fun to laugh at, the Rifftrax for this is OK, and massive props indeed.)

Rasta Iroh

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the aesthetic of the real Iroh or that it makes no cultural sense for him to sport this do when no one else in the racebended Indian “OMFG what were you thinking Shyamalan” Nation does but goddamn, long-haired dudes are my one mortal weakness and I will ogle the hell out of him.

Jesus is that a man bun I see that’s it mum I’ve been deaded

Yue’s hair

No.

Now we’re talking. Yue’s hair turned white when the Moon spirit gave her life, so it makes sense for it to go black again when she sacrifices herself to revive the koi fish. It’s a neat detail I find myself expecting whenever I rewatch the scene in the show. Yes, I realize it’d be a pointless hassle to animate since she, unlike in the movie, immediately goes on to become the Moon herself but still. I like.

The Blue Spirit’s mop

Zuko, hun, what’s with the dance-off?

First of all, I want to imagine that Zuko the Theatre Nerd was about to leave his ship with just the mask like in the show but then stuck his head into the cleaning cupboard and went, “Yeah, more coverage might be good, even though it do seem mighty fried to shit”.

Which makes me giggle. I like to giggle.

And secondly, the hair’s movement is what makes the static mess of the Blue Spirit’s solo fight scene appear at least bit more dynamic because God knows the cinematography isn’t doing it.

Any particular reason why it’s at the edge of the action, shot all boring-like?

Now, I get why circular shots would be reserved for Aang while he’s in the practice area and then used once the two join forces. What I don’t get is why Aang’s part of the action scene has a defined visual style while Zuko’s delegated to a few stationary wide shots from afar as though he’s a tertiary goon, meaning that when the time comes to combine the respective pieces of cinema language and visually convey collaboration, there’s not really much to combine.

But as long as Zuko is stuck in this static mess, it’s that awesome disaster on his head flopping about that draws the eye, helping me understand that something even is going on over there.

It also prevents me from paying much attention to how the extras are mostly just staying put and a lot of the hits don’t land, so that’s good.

The music slaps

James Newton Howard is too good for this.

Pls ignore that the word “gods” is used in the ATLA universe

I can’t be the only one who constantly uses this piece to daydream about writing specific fanfic scenes instead of, you know, actually sitting down and writing them. It’s just so good at communicating a sense of sorrow while speaking of rebirth that I find myself getting misty-eyed whenever I listen to it. Unfailingly, the soundtrack as a whole manages to break through the mile-thick crust of horrible acting, confusing writing, and uninspired cinematography and make me feel things. And considering how everything on screen is working against it, that’s no small feat.

Imagine what a powerful experience it would be if the score was used in service of an actual movie.

Dev Patel

No wonder since he’s the only one in the film occupying that crucial intersection between “is a good actor” and “was given something to work with”. It also doesn’t hurt that he breaks with the trend of actors starring in martial arts flicks despite never having done any martial art.

And all EIP-jokes about “stiff and humorless” aside, he’s a pretty decent Zuko considering how abridged this version of the character is. A while ago, I remember hearing a reviewer say that with his comedic chops, Patel should have been cast as Sokka. And on one hand, yes, god, absolutely, I need to see that asap. But on the other? He captures all layers of Book 1!Zuko, the desperate obsession, rage, and self-loathing, and at the same time gives you a peek at the soft momma’s boy dork that’s buried underneath. For Christ sakes, he exudes intensity and ambivalence even when acting against an emotionless hunk of wood that’s giving him nothing in return.

Oh, and I guess there’s a tree in the frame.

Ba dum tss

What can I say, the guy’s good.

Showing vs telling

OK, so this movie is all tell and no show, except for one single moment. And it’s the exact moment where the original goes in the other direction in terms of how information is conveyed.

See, I never liked this. The revelation is preceded by Iroh giving advice to Zuko who scolds him for nagging. Iroh then apologizes, moves in to say the line above, and is interrupted by Zuko who seems rather uncomfortable with Iroh laying his feelings out like this. And once they’re out, Zuko verbally confirms that he knew already and Iroh didn’t need to bother.

All this extraneous information and pussyfooting ends up weakening what should be a profound scene that reveals to us, the viewers, how deep the relationship between these two in fact runs.

Compare to the movie where Dadroh acts like a parent by fussing and worrying, with Sonion needing a single look to tell him and us that he understands what it’s all really about.

It’s genuinely efficient and just good.

No Cataang

Fine, a bit mean-girl bitchy from me since I only start minding the ship in Book 3. And probably unintentional on the part of the creators since there are moments where I think they’re trying to set the romance up? There’s a, well, an attempt to recreate the famous introductory shot of fateful meaningful destiny of meaningness, there’s some slight note of saving each other’s bacon going on, I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones in the film who smile, and oh, right, Katara’s shoved into her post-canon useless role where she doesn’t ever do anything, and is all about Aang right from the get go.

Yes, I will blame the “executive producers” because a) I’m incredibly petty, and b) it’s perfectly in line with their vision of the character so why the hell not.

Hilariously, none of it reads on screen because the actors are just... yeah. These poor kids are struggling so much with delivering their own lines and portraying their own characters they don’t seem to have any strength left to create something between them. To be fair, the bare-bones shot-reverse shot style of their scenes doesn’t exactly lend itself to the idea they occupy the same universe, let alone are friends or each other’s crushes.

And I enjoy this immensely because it allows me to forget the depressing horror show Katara’s life turns into post ATLA.

Yes Zutara

I need to delve into this because it’s fucking hilarious. So in a movie which fails to establish the original’s central romance so spectacularly that if Aang got lost in a crowd I don’t believe Katara would notice, SomEOnE thought it’d be a good idea to add an utterly unnecessary non-canon moment where Zuko for some reason feels the need to pause his character-defining hunt for the Avatar which otherwise has him ignore everything and snap at everyone, and explain his central conflict to an unconscious peasant he doesn’t know, complete with gently pushing the hair from the pretty girl’s the soulmate’s the Water Tribe Ambassador’s the Fire Lady’s the love of his life’s her face away, AFTER his uncle nagged him twice to find a girl and settle down.

I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page and this is what we really saw.

Celibate Avatars

I have no idea why the decision was made, if TPTB thought expecting viewers to understand the story through the lens of Buddhism would be too much, or if the “executive producers” already worked their retconny magic. What I do know, however, is that there’s a big shift in worldbuilding and Aang’s struggle with his role as the Avatar stops being a personal conflict defined by a) his grief for Air Nomads, b) his notion of being robbed of the loved ones in his life, and c) the selfish attachment to Katara he confuses with true love. Instead, what he has a difficulty to accept is apparently a general notion of who Avatars are supposed to be, i.e. a fantasy version of Catholic monks, no family and worldly relations, period.

I guess either someone understood the original’s portrayal of de/attachment as “hermit no freaky”, or thought the audience would so why not go there outright.

Now, do I like this on its own? No, God no, it makes the world infinitely poorer and changes the story from an exploration of ideas which aren’t all that ingrained in the West, to a cliché tropester about a Catholic priest going Protestant so that he could be with a girl.

At least I assume that’s where they were going to take this eventually.

I mean, I think the direction was “look conflicted, this isn’t the final stage of your journey”?

But consider this—the show went there, it built on the concepts of Eastern philosophy and touched upon the ideas of spiritual awakening, only to swerve in the end and strongly imply they’re bullshit and Aang should have never wasted his time with them.

So honestly, I much prefer scanty worldbuilding to an insulting retcon by a damn rock.

Multiracial Air Nomads

Probably the most substantial “no hint of irony” point on this list and a genuinely good addition to the universe’s worldbuilding.

See, the notion of the elemental nations being perfectly separate and never mingling before Sozin has always been sketchy but it’s especially ridiculous in the case of airbenders. It never made sense to me for all airbenders to be Air Nomads and for all Air Nomads to be monks and for all monks to be chilling at the temples all the time to facilitate a quick everyone-dies genocide should an imperialistic warlord ever decide to commit one.

Because committing everyone to a single way of life at a handful of places kinda goes against the central philosophy behind airbending. Like the freedom and nomadism part.

Instead, there should be more variety to the airbending culture, with some staying at the temples as monks, hermits, and teachers while others live as nomads, travelling the world and creating more airbenders, with the resulting children in turn being influenced by the non-airbending cultures they grew up in.

And thus, not only should airbenders not be modeled after a single culture to create a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, but they should have the most diverse and dynamic culture out of the four nations.

And it’d be precisely this diversity which would pave way for an eventual reveal that some of them survived, that their complete extermination is impossible.

Because they’re everywhere.

You know.

Like air.

[smoochkooks]

—the (un)holy cock-up (m.)

⟶ pairing: park jimin/reader

⟶ genre: smut, angst 

⟶ word count: 14.5k

⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, oral sex (m receiving), dirty talk, profanity, unnecessary amount of biblical puns, some critic on catholic church, this is a heavy read be aware

⟶ summary: there is a quite long list of circumstances, with student loan and rent on the very top of it, that led you to work in the sunday’s spirit editorial department, a newspaper overally known among fellow catholic community of busan, with park jimin as your boss.

when your small cock-up goes unnoticeably out of your hand, you find yourself in a situation painted in all shades of wrong.

or, alternatively: when it’s forbidden, it tastes bittersweet.

a/n: please, before you read this: take the warnings seriously. this is not a light read, it touches some heavy and quite controversial topics. tit also involves a scene where a person in charge exhibits inappropriate behavior towards their subordinate which I do not condone, however it’s all done with consent.

ps. im really proud of this work so give me some love please:(

Fingertips typing furiously on the keyboards, sights focused on the computers’ screens, brows furrowed, minds utterly concentrated and all of this accompanied by angelic voices of various religious songs playing in the background.

This is how a typical day at Sunday’s Spirit editorial department goes by.

The newspaper is a local source of information for the catholic community not only in the city of Busan, but in the whole country. Its history starts in 70s, when Park Min-Sung with his wife started publishing the very first version of the Sunday’s Spirit, selling copies in front of churches. Young activists definitely hadn’t anticipated such a big success, especially due to hard times of the military dictatorship in Korea, but two decades later they have become one of the most affluent families in Busan. The newspaper remains the Park’s legacy till these days, being owned by Min-Sung’s son, with the original founder’s grandson Jimin as an editor-in-chief.

Sometimes you ponder how did you end up in this kind of situation. Sitting at your desk with eyes glued to the screen, working for the catholic newspaper with Mary did you know and other holy songs playing from the Spotify’s Blessed Hits playlist.

First of all, you aren’t quite a Jesus stan yourself. Not a regular churchgoer, Bible reader or a person who lives according to God’s will with Ten Commandments written on your heart and soul.

Someone may wonder, what a young, aspiring journalist like you is doing here? Yes, that’s right.

Money is the reason.

The perspectives of wealthy life as a presenter in the national television or a host in the radio were just a mirage, because after receiving your master degree in journalism you realised that, unfortunately, a bright future was bright only in your unreal dreams.

The case was simple. You needed money. Your bank account was literally screaming at you to get your shit together and figure something out before you end up under the bridge. So you started searching for a job, looking over various offers on the Internet for two weeks straight. A waitress? Nah, too clumsy for that. Jewelry seller? Definitely not, since you are a happy owner of a few pairs of earrings from etsy-like online shop that certainly have nothing to do with real gold. You were almost convinced you’re destined to be a sexworker but then you stumbled upon an offer from the Sunday’s Spirit.

It was your chance. A God himself decided to take pity on you.

In that exact moment the genre of the newspaper wasn’t important. The vision of bankruptcy was enough for you to wear knee-length black skirt, white button-up shirt and a pair of high heels you’ve never worn before and go on a job interview with plastered smile on your face, looking delightful like you have just given birth to Jesus Christ in Bethlehem.

All the Hollywood actresses could be put into shame after your Oscar-winning performance you acted out on the interview in front of middle-aged woman in checked jacket that no one wears since 90s. Your enthusiasm and assurance you live good, catholic woman’s life, along with your master degree and motivational letter (you added a quote from The Letter to Philipians at the end of it to spice it up) was enough to be accepted for the position of Ask and you shall find column creator.

The job itself wasn’t complex or tough. The newspaper on its online site has a page where people can create an account and send asks to the author of the column who responds to them. You did something wrong and you aren’t sure it should be considered a sin? Having problems with regular praying on mornings and evenings? Write to us and we will solemnly help you with the God’s blessing, it says.

This is basically how it works. Each week, the said journalist chooses the most interesting questions and answers to make an article to the Sunday’s Spirit’s next publication. Of course, you can’t answer those questions the way you would like. You must do it according to the catholic laws and God’s plan (the True God’s plan, not Drake’s). A woman who interviewed you even gave you a notebook full of already made-up responses and a list of things you definetely mustn’t write if you still want to be employed.

To be completely frank, you don’t hate your job that much. You actually feel kind of nice, helping other people with their problems. You’ve been doing this for six months now and during this period of time you got used to some things.

A ‘Jesus, I trust you’ framed picture you swore your mother gave you on your 16th birthday standing on your desk. Holy beats blasting through the speakers until you leave the office at 5pm. A big-ass cross hanging right in front of the entrance to the editorial. Lee Chin-sun, the Weekly News column author, rushing to Park Jimin’s bureau every day at different hours in her pencil skirts and high heels knocking on the floor.

There’s only the Pentecost in the middle of the office that could actually surprise you.

“Looks like our Mary Magdalene is going to Jesus cave again,” mutters Kim Taehyung, the newspaper’s main photographer, friend from your desk and, actually, the only friend you have here. Very much gay and just like you, in desperate need for money. “It’s her third visit today. I wonder what it is this time. New prayer to Pope Francis she found?” he whispers and you chuckle at that quietly, looking around if anyone pays attention to your conversation, but everyone seems busy doing their own stuff. “Maybe she’s sucking his dick right now and we all think they are playing Who said it? Bible edition,” he adds in a hushed tone.

You start thinking about it for a while. Is that really possible for someone like Park Jimin, the editor-in-chief of the Sunday’s Spirit to have a sexual relationship with his coworker? The man who has a smaller version of Pietà in his office?

“I mean look at him. I would smash that ass too.”

You roll your eyes at Taehyung words, going back to your previous task but every time you try to concentrate, the face of your boss appears in front of your eyes uncontrollably.

Truth to be told, Park Jimin was a sight.

Blond hair, always perfectly styled and simply parted in the middle, revealing his forehead. Dark, sharp eyes that seem to pierce right through your soul and full, plump lips which could only be described as kissable.

He wears only high fashion brands, wandering through the office in Prada and Tom Ford suits that hugs his sculpted body just right. You think that as for a person who never misses Sunday’s mass, Park Jimin has also nice thighs. And a fine piece of ass, as Taehyung would describe it.

Newest Rolex that costs probably more than you will ever earn in your entire life on his wrist, Mercedes who just got brought out to the international market standing on his parking spot in front of the building, an apartment in the most luxurious area in Busan.

Park Jimin inhales God’s mercy and exhales money.

You spoke to him more explicitly only once, on your first day at work. He greeted you and wished good luck, saying that everything will be fine because you know, God’s good. Since that day, Park Jimin seems out of your reach. You contact him only through email, sending articles for him to check and approve, occasionally receiving some short message from him to improve this and that. He rarely leaves his office during working hours but when he does, it’s either for business meetings outside the editorial or for a lunch at nearby restaurant.

There’s also one, special occasion, every Friday, that’s a sacred time for all the employees. The clock hits 12am and so it begins. The angelic voices stop singing and everybody shifts on their sits.

“Oh, Holy Judas. I almost forgot about my favourite part of the week,” Taehyung sighs, standing up from his desk. And by that, he means-

“Friday’s Bible contemplation lunch break, everyone please gather up at the cafeteria.” Park Jimin’s sweet as honey voice says through the speakers.

You stand up from your chair with reluctance. Taking food with you, you go to the cafeteria, following Taehyung.

That’s actually the next thing you got used to while working at Sunday’s Spirit. Bible contemplation meetings are, as you found out from Taehyung, Jimin’s idea after he became an editor-in-chief almost one year ago. Every Friday all the workers sit together, eat their lunches and listen to Jimin as he reads a certain chapter from the book with true admiration written on their faces. After that, he usually asks some questions holding a discussion among the participants who, unlike you, happily takes part in.

The cafeteria looks rather normal, like any other lunchrooms you see in offices. Painted in bright yellow colors, with a few tables and a typical kitchen set in the back. Except for one thing.

A replica of Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper hanging on the wall.

You decided a long time ago that you don’t want to know how much money it cost Jimin to have something like that here.

The newspaper’s workers, almost like the twelve Apostles, sit together by the tables. Lee Chin-sun at the very front, looking completely mesmerized by today’s Park Jimin’s appearance. He’s wearing navy blue suit that Taehyung swears it’s from Hugo Boss. The place next to Chin-sun is always occupied by tall, black-haired guy named Choi Eunwoo, main graphic designer, hopelessly in love with her since his first days at work. Behind them there’s a group from emendation department, with their leader Min Yoongi and other journalists. You always sit with Taehyung at the back, near the kitchen, not necessarily paying attention to what’s happening in the front.

Jimin, as on every Friday, walks to the small podium, designed to look like a pulpit in the church and opens the Bible. But one thing is odd: Jimin ain’t no priest or altar boy himself and he certainly dosen’t look like one, flipping through the pages of what you think it’s New Testament this time.

From your point of view, you could practically see how Chin-sun sighs with content expression on her face, lacing her fingers together on the lap and straightening her back. Eunwoo, on the other hand, shifts uncomfortably on his seat, sending Chin-sun quick glances full of unspoken longing she never acknowledges, to his dismay.

Then, Park Jimin clears his throat and the whole cafeteria goes quiet.

Truth to be told, you never really listen to what he’s reading. This time is no different. You just chew on your avocado sandwich, occasionally taking a sip of coffee. Your boss’ smooth voice reaches your ears faintly but you don’t pay attention to it, focusing on eating and Taehyung’s hushed rumbling instead.

“Look at our Mary Magdalene, she looks like she might burst a nut just by listening to CEO Jesus,” he says, making you peek at the girl.

Mary Magdalene is a nickname that Taehyung made up for Chin-sun when he started working at Sunday’s Spirit, mainly because of her attitude and relationship with Jimin. It’s rather platonic, at least for now. She looks at him with pure admiration on her face and she literally melts everytime he smiles at her. But Chin-sun’s ‘stalking’ isn’t unreasonable. Her father is a well-known philanthropist in Busan. He donates catholic charities, churches and, what’s the most interesting – he has some connections with Jimin’s father, the owner of Sunday’s Spirit.

And here’s the thing: Chin-sun’s hare and hounds definitely have some hidden reason. Maybe the whole marriage thing that has become a gossip in the office is true. Which makes poor Eunwoo’s situation even worse.

“Sometimes I wonder why has he fallen in love with her in first place,” you whisper, pointing at the graphic designer. “He knows he stands no chance against Jimin.”

“What can I say, you can’t help who you fall in love with.” Taehyung muses almost poetically, shrugging his shoulders.

You hum at that, placing your coffee cup on the table and looking around the cafeteria. It seems like Jimin has ended his reading session for today and now he invites everyone to join the discussion about the topic. He flashes Chin-sun a gentle smile and you could swear the girl is biting her lip.

On the corner of your eye you see Taehyung smirking.

“What?” you ask.

Taehyung takes a sip of his coffee lazily (it’s always caramel macchiato), peering at Jimin. “Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if our boss really wants to settle not only with Chin-sun, but anyone in general,” he says languidly.

You furrow your brows. “What makes you think that? I mean, look at him. He probably waits with sex till marriage.” you snort.

Taehyung chuckles at your words. “Ah, sweetheart, you really know nothing about Park Jimin.”

“What do you mean?”

He moves closer to you, leaning towards your ear. “What I mean,” he whispers, “is that Park Jimin isn’t such a prude everyone thinks he is. At least he didn’t use to be.”

You raise your eyebrows at him with disbelief. “What? He’s secretly gay?” you mock.

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I wish, but no, he isn’t,” he answers with a sigh. “Do you know Min Yoongi from emendation team?” he then asks, pointing at grey-haired man with feline eyes sitting behind Chin-sun.

You nodd your head. Min Yoongi is a hard to read guy. Always suspiciously silent, practically never leaves his office. Something makes you wonder how did Taehyung end up befriending him enough to casually gossip about the boss. You will ask him about this on another occasion.

“So here’s the thing,” Taehyung begins, lowering the volume of his voice. “He used to study at the same university in Seoul with Jimin. They even had been together in the fraternity. Yoongi-hyung told me some juicy details about our boss’ life back then.”

You frown at his words. “And you are telling me this now?!” you hiss.

“I found out literally two days ago!” Taehyung exclaims, maybe a little too loud, so you quickly place your index finger on your lips, shushing him.

“Fine. Continue.” you whisper, looking around to see if anyone pays attention to you.

“Well, Park Jimin used to be a trouble back then. A golden boy of his family in Busan, but a campus fuckboy and obnoxious heartbreaker in Seoul. He smoked cigarettes, drank enormous amounts of alcohol, got wasted on every weekend, missed classes and changed hair colors as often as his girlfriends. By the way, don’t you think he would slay pink hair?”

“Taehyung can you please–”

“Okay, okay. Enough thirsting over Jimesus. So, as you can see, there was no place for Sunday’s mass and Bible contemplation meetings in his life. And here’s the awaited plotwist. His parents somehow found out his son wasn’t living good catholic life on his studies and got extremely pissed off. They simply gave him an ultimatum: if he doesn’t stop his shenanigans, they will cut him off their money and they won’t make him Sunday’s Spirit heir.” Taehyung stops his rumbling for a while, letting you proceed all the bewildering informations about your dear boss he has just revealed.

Your eyes simply widen at the revelations.

Park Jimin, the man who organises Bible contemplation lunch breaks, a regular churchgoer, someone who you always thought has a cross tattooed on his back, was a playboy who slept with a half of the female community in the university?

Interesting.

“Rest of the story is simple. He changed his behavior, got a master degree in journalism and came back to Busan to work here. What is funny, his first position was the same as yours now,” Taehyung ends his story with a light chuckle. “Now you understand why it’s hard for me to believe he really thinks about getting married and having at least three kids.”

You look up at Park Jimin, who’s standing now in the centre of the cafeteria, with his arms crossed over his chest, nodding at one of the journalists words. His gaze is so intense and filled with such an authority that makes you understand why Chin-sun literally squirms when he looks at her that way.

It’s not hard for you to imagine him in much different surroundings.

Him, standing with a cup of beer in his hand in the middle of the crowd of drunken people at some frat party. There’s a leather jacket on his shoulders and he’s wearing tight-fitting pants that hugs his gorgeous thighs much better than his usual slacks he puts on every day before he sets off to work. He scans the room with a mishevious smirk dancing on his features, biting and licking his lips as he looks for his prey for tonight.

He then spots her, his pick for the night. He runs his fingers through his silky locks and approaches the girl, whispering dirty promises to her ear as he sways their bodies to the rhythm of loud music blasting through the speakers. Later that night he has her underneath him, begging him to touch her. He fucks her hard, leaving bruises all over her limp, exhausted body. There will be soreness between her thighs in the morning and a few violet love bites on her neck, a gentle reminder that all of this wasn’t just a dream.

But there’s no warm body next to her she could wake up to, no ‘good morning, baby’ or a second round of love making between the sheets. Because Park Jimin isn’t like that. He waited until her breath slowed down and eyelids fluttered shut, drifting her off to sleep. He left in the middle of the night, a cigarette caught between his swollen from kisses lips. He fumed the poison and smiled to himself, wondering what his parents would think when they found out. A golden boy of his family, future heir of the Park’s legacy, coming back from one of his sexcapeds with girl which name he didn’t even remember.

The Lord himself must have already cursed him and he’s currently planning the punishments for him in depths of Hell. But does Park Jimin look like he really care?

You stare blankly ahead, imagining those scenes in your head. You can’t help but squeeze your thighs because God, yes, Park Jimin is hot, even if he reads Breviary before he goes to sleep. What a shame he has changed. 

A smooth like honey voice pulls you out from your airy-fairy slumber.

“Miss Y/N?”

You jolt in panic after hearing your name, glancing around and praying that wasn’t the person you think it was. But this silky, melodious voice you would recognize everywhere.

God hates you though, he knows what kind of scandalous things you were daydreaming about and now it’s his time to punish you.

Looking up, your gaze settles on no one other than Park Jimin, who stares at you with his left eyebrow raised, pursing his lips. He extinguishes the aura of pure dominance around him and you involuntarily blush, squirming under his intense glare. You’re royally screwed.

You clear your throat, trying to calm down rapidly beating heart. Without success.

“Yes, sir?” you manage to answer innocently. Certainly not like you weren’t thinking about being fucked by him minutes ago. You don’t even have time to be surprised he remembers your name.

Park Jimin looks unamazed by your sweet tone; he almost seems bored, but definitely irritated. “I asked you a question and I’m waiting for your response.” he says lowly.

Fuckfuckfuck. God have mercy on you. What was the question? Shit, you don’t even know what fragment he had read before.

In act of complete desperation you elbow Taehyung for help but this little shit pretends he has no idea what’s going on, looking at The Last Supper with sudden interest.

You are purely, loyally, utterly fucked.

You adopt the most charming smile you could muster, knowing that it will have zero affect on Park Jimin and ask, “Could you repeat the question one more time, sir? I’m afraid I didn’t hear you correctly.” Jesus, when has your voice become so high-pitched?

A cruel smirks forms on Park Jimin’s lips. He shakes his head, tsking. Taehyung mutters something under his breath that sounds dangerously close to “It was nice meeting you, sweetheart.” You gulp, waiting for your sentence and hoping Pontius Pilate will be gracious to you.

“My, my,” Jimin muses. It makes you feel like a little girl being scolded by the teacher due to her outrageous behavior. You bite your lip so hard you might draw blood, waiting for your boss’ next words. “Of course you didn’t hear my question, because you weren’t paying attention to our discussion.”

In the corner of your eye you see Chin-sun shaking her head with detestation. What a bitch, you think to yourself.

You take a deep breath then, nails digging crescent moons on the skin of your palms. You don’t like being in the spotlight, you never did, but now you have no choice but face the consequences. “My deepest apologies, sir. The behavior I exhibited was highly inappropriate,” you say, bowing your head. Jimin eyes your figure from head to toe and you might actually feel his burning gaze on your skin. Your cheeks flush in crimson even more.

The editor-in-chief seems to deliberate with himself for a while, turning his head slightly to the side, not breaking the eye contact with you. Finally, after a moment that seems to last an hour, he speaks.

“I think you need a lesson that will teach you to pay attention to our weekly discussions, miss Y/N. That’s why I want you to write a 4000 words long paper about the role of Mary Magdalene in Jesus Christ’s life which we had discussed today but you, unfortunately, didn’t acknowledge it.”

You freeze. Like a scene in the movie, everything stops. The embarassement you felt earlier is quickly replaced by pure anger and irritation. He wants you to write a fucking paper? What is this? University lectures?

Never before in your entire life have you felt so humiliated. All eyes are on you; you could practically sense how they are trying not to laugh out loud. Eunwoo and Taehyung look at you with apologetic faces while Chin-sun smirks, whispering something to Jimin’s ear.

“I apologize once again, sir,” you grit through your teeth with a forced smile. Jimin nods then, not even bothering to look at you again. You’re dismissed, that’s what his behavior is saying.

“Our meeting is over, you can go back to your work.” Jimin announces and walks away from the cafeteria with Chin-sun by his side.

You wait for everyone to leave and the you let out a groan of annoyance, burring your head in your hands.

“Hey, it could have been worse. He didn’t fire you after all.” Taehyung laughs but he quickly shuts up as soon as he sees your glare. You stand up from your chair with a scowl written all over your face, and storm out of the lunchroom.

And may the God help you.

Later that unfortunate day, you sit by your desk again, scrolling through the Ask and you shall find page absentmindedly and waiting for the new asks to come. Everyone has returned to their work like nothing has happened but it doesn’t stop you from feeling all those eyes constantly on your back. Maybe you weren’t fired but the humiliation and embarrassment of being told off by your boss publicly makes you want to disappear and never show up at the editorial again.

“Y/N,” Taehyung’s deep voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You look up at him and find the man smiling at you lightly. He’s wearing a long, camel coat and a big scarf around his neck with ridiculous patterns that reminds you of Persian diwans. He places his black camera bag on the desk, which means he’s leaving the office. “I’m free of office work for today so I just wanted to say goodbye.” he explains and you just nod.

“Bye, Taehyung. See you on Monday.” you say maybe a little bit to wryly and he feels that, letting out a long sigh.

Taehyung seems to deliberate with himself for a moment before he decides to speak again. He clears his throat audibly. “And I, uhm, I’m sorry. It’s my fault that you are in this situation. I started this conversation and I should be the one writing this stupid paper for Mister Prude.”

You can’t help but chuckle at the new nickname Taehyung gave Jimin. The anger you felt before drifts away from you slowly, and you smile at your friend apologetically. “Oh, God, Tae. I’m such a bitch sometimes, sorry,” you blurt out.”I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at him. Besides, maybe that’s good I’ve got homework. I don’t remember when was the last time I wrote some-”

Your words are interrupted by a loud laugh that resonates through the office. You look in the direction of the voice just to see Chin-sun with her manicured hand on Jimin’s chest, throwing her head back from the laughter, too dramatically for your taste. She seems to have changed her clothes, a black pencil skirt long forgotten and replaced by a red, bodycon dress. Her dark hair is also styled differently, curled and loose. She looks beautiful, matching Jimin’s appearance perfectly.

“Where are they going?” Taehyung whispers to you, furrowing his brows. You shrug your shoulders, tearing your eyes of Chin-sun and Jimin. “Maybe our Mary Magdalene’s plan to win Jesus’ heart is working. Poor Eunwoo,” he sighs, looking at his watch to check the time. “Anyway, I gotta go. I have to drive all the way to some shithole near the city to take photos of an old lady who swears she saw saint Francis or other dude with halo speaking to her,” he grumbles and you giggle at his words. “Good luck with your paper, sweetheart.” he leans and places a small peck on your cheek.

“Bye, Tae.” you say, watching him leave the office right after Jimin and Chin-sun.

You let out a long, tired sigh, counting the time to leave the office and finally be back home, with a bottle of red wine and new season of Game of Thrones that are waiting for you to watch the whole week. Then, when you’re about to stand up and make yourself another coffee, a new ask pops up in your inbox with the title ‘Sex S.O.S’.

You raise your eyebrows because honestly, what kind of title is this? Curiosity wins the battle with a hot cup of an americano and you click the show more button. You put on your prescription glasses and start reading.

Dear Sunday’s Spirit editorial,

My name is Kang Seoyeon. I study medicine at the University of Seoul, I’ve got an amazing group of friends and a loving boyfriend. And here’s where the actual problem begins. I’m from the catholic family with long traditions, and as you can guess, he isn’t.

We’ve been together for almost 2 years now and since my parents don’t want me to live with him before the marriage, there’s also no sexual life between us. I was actually surprised they agreed I can date a non-religious person in first place, so the rules weren’t that horrible at the beginning.

My boyfriend always seemed to be understanding about the fact that I’m catholic and he has never had issues against it because I stated this on the start of our relationship, but lately… he’s been distant. We meet up less often and I feel like simple kissing after 2 years isn’t enough for him. I even thought about initiating something that wouldn’t necessarily involve the real intercourse but I’m too inexperienced and shy for that. We are slowly drifting apart.

I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him just because of some stupid rules I need to follow. I’m scared he will leave me for some other beautiful girl who wouldn’t have anything against sleeping with him, especially after considering the fact that he isn’t virgin unlike me and he experienced this kind of pleasure before.

I hope you will help me.

Yours faithfully,

Kang Seoyeon.

You blink once, twice. Read the message again and then, something snaps in you.

To Hell with these stupid, old-fashioned rules straight from the Middle Ages. To Hell with celibacy till marriage, masturbation prohibition and living according to God’s will. To Hell with Park Jimin and his ridiculous moral code (and his Bible contemplation lunchbreaks).

Unofficial eleventh commandment: If a girl wants a dick, she deserves to have it.

And that’s exactly what your response to the girl is in a nutshell.

Your blood boils in your veins with anger as you’re typing furiously on the keyboard, not even bothering to check if your sudden outburst makes any sense.

Dear Seoyeon,

It’s Y/N here, the journalist who you wrote this message to.

I don’t know what kind of response are you expecting from me but honestly? If you think I’m going to recommend you some praying to Saint Rita then you’re wrong. I’m done with this shit.

Let me make this straight: if you want to fuck your boyfriend, do it. Maybe God wouldn’t approve that but don’t worry, he won’t send you to hell because of some dick in your pussy.

They are plenty of worse things in this world than having sex with the person you love. Look at me. I’m literally writing to catholic newspaper while using words like ‘God’ and ‘Fuck’ in the same sentence. And that’s not even a small piece of what I’ve done in my life.

So you go girl, suck your boyfriend off. Make him beg. He will never leave you after this. You have my blessings and Jesus is giving you metaphysical thumbs up from above. Sex is amazing thing and you don’t have to wait for it until you say ‘yes’ in front of some guy in black cassock. Just go with the flow.

 May the God help you!

Love, Y/N.

P.S. Watch out that guy. He seems suspicious. If he’s been really sex deprived for two years he will die after you give him a head.

Sent.

You exhale loudly, staring at the screen. You did that. Six months into working in Sunday’s Spirit and the time when you lost your temper has finally come. You should probably feel ashamed or have some type of conscience pangs but actually you aren’t even near this state.

Grinning to yourself, you delete the message you had sent to the girl from your inbox and check the time. It’s almost 5pm and it looks like you haven’t even realised you’re the only person at the office right now. Since it’s Friday and Jimin has already left, seems like everyone has decided to set off earlier too.

You turn off your computer, packing your things to the bag. Wrapping a scarf around your neck tightly, you leave the building, welcoming the coolness of the early Spring evening in Busan.

When you’re about to cross the street, your phone buzzes in the pocket of your coat. You stop for a moment, smiling to yourself when you read the message.

[04:23pm] from Tae: hey

[04:23pm] from Tae: i know you are probably planning an evening with mary magdalene n jesus but

[04:23pm] from Tae: wouldnt u want to go for drinks with me tonight?

[04:23pm] from Tae: same place as usual

[04:24pm] from Tae: as a wise man once said: nothing helps better for the writer’s block than vodka

[04:24pm] from Tae: so what do u say?

You don’t need to think twice when you quickly type a response. Game of Thrones and wine can wait till another time.

[04:26pm] from me: how could i say no to kim taehyung and vodka?

[04:26pm] from me: see u there

Kim’s is a place like no one other in Busan.

You wouldn’t even know about its existence if it wasn’t Taehyung who took you there first when you started working at Sunday’s Spirit, solemnly promising free drinks. Who would you be if you didn’t agree to that?

When you arrived at the bar, it eventually turned out the alcohol was costless hence it’s his family business since over thirty years and his brother Namjoon is a bartender, not because Taehyung willingly decided to pay for you.

Kim’s is located in rather industrial part of the city, sandwiched between factories and huge housing estates, not looking really inviting at first glance, but the place has its own, unique charm. There are some stories, shrouding the building’s history in mystery. Some people say it used to be headquarters of the most dangerous mafia in Busan, some even believe it served as the secret arsenal during the Korean War.

But what’s definitely true, it’s the fact that Taehyung’s parents bought this place in swinging times of 80s for a small amount of money and turned the place into disco bar which had become a must-go spot for young people in Busan.

Kim’s on the outside, with its large red neon sign hanging above the entrance, looks more like a night club than a bar, but on the inside the magic of kitschy 80s still remains the same (Taehyung swears retro is in fashion these days and that’s why he didn’t let his parents redecorate when they wanted to).

You always feel like you’re traveling back in time when you visist Kim’s.

The place is quite big, with a large dancefloor in the middle and red leather sofas strewn around the place along with the tables. Walls are made of brick and colorful, vibrant neon lights are shimmering on them. Oh, not to mention the huge disco ball on the ceiling. Everything accompanied with the quality music provided by Namjoon.

There are few billiard and foosball tables in the corner of the bar, always occupied by the same group of middle-aged men on weekdays and university students on weekends. But the thing that attract attention of the customers the most, is the bar with Namjoon behind it.

When you enter the place, you spot Taehyung and his blond mop of hair immediately. He sits on one of the bar stools, talking to his older brother. He’s wearing beige pants and floral button-up shirt that seems to match colors with his pinkish-looking drink he holds. You notice a new pair of sapphire earrings and a huge ring from the same collection on his forefinger. Classy, as always.

Taehyung grins broadly when he sees you. He puts his drink on the counter and stands up to greet you. His breath smells like strawberries and vodka when he leans to place his usual, small peck on your cheek. “Hi, sweetheart,” he says with his signature smirk plastered on his face, scanning your figure. “You look gorgeous. Last time you did this kind of make-up you wanted to get laid.”

You rolls your eyes at his words, sitting on a stool next to him. “Hi, Taehyung. Thank you for appreciating my efforts to look like a decent human being but no, I’m not planning on getting laid tonight.” you answer, waving to Namjoon who makes drinks for a group of girls a few meters from you. He smiles bashfully at you, showing his dimples.

“I’m not saying you want a fuck, calm down. I just assumed since it’s not everyday that you put eyeliner on,” Taehyung explains himself. “So let me do that again,” He takes a deep breath, placing a hand on his chest in a dramatic manner. “Y/N, you look absolutely breathtaking. I could stare at you for hours and I wouldn’t mind that even a bit. My homosexuality is at risk right now.”

You ignore his exeggarated outburst, rolling your eyes. “I’m not using eyeliner everyday because there’s something called dresscode in our work, you know?” you say. “Besides, my mum says you should look good on every occasion because you don’t know when you will meet the love of your life.”

Taehyung puts a hand on his heart and sighs with relief. “Thank God I always look good.”

You chuckle and then your eyes wander for a moment to Namjoon, who seems busy listening to whatever the pink-haired girl is telling him with polite smile on his face.

“Here,” Taehyung nudges your side, bringing your attention back to him. He hands you the same pinkish drink as he was drinking when you arrived. “Hyung told me it’s their new specialty or something. It’s called Flamingo’s Beach,” he says and you take the glass in your hand. “I have no idea what Namjoonie-hyung put here but as long as it looks good, it’s good. Cheers!” Taehyung sips his one and watches you with raised eyebrows as you’re taking a generous gulp of the drink. “And…?” he asks.

You lick your lips, humming to yourself. “Not bad. Tastes like strawberries.”

Taehyung opens his mouth to say something but he gets interrupted by his brother. “Y/N, hi. How are you?” Namjoon approaches you with two beer mugs in his hands.

His hair is back to his natural brown color now, purple strands long forgotten since the last time you saw him. It looks like he’s been working out lately, his posture more bulky and it makes his black shirt stick to his body tightly. Namjoon’s good-looking, you always knew that, but he seems to be even more handsome now.

“Hey, I’ve been good, thank you,” you greet him with maybe too much enthusiasm for your liking. You always had a weak spot for him. “How’s the bar going?” you ask.

“Busy, as you can see,” he replies, chuckling to himself. “I would love to talk to you more but I have some work to do in back room, so…” Namjoon trails off sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.

“Oh, it’s okay. We can catch up another time.” You smile at him and you could swear his cheeks flushed.

“I’ll be going. See you.” Namjoon stammers out, not even waiting for your response before he disappears from your sight.

The pregnant silence sets in between you and Taehyung, something heavy hangs in the air and you feel it, tapping your fingers on the counter to the rhythm of one of the ABBA songs, waiting impatiently.

Taehyung looks like he’s debating with himself in his head. You narrow your eyes. He’s adopted a face you know pretty well, too well even. He looks everywhere but keep avoiding your gaze. He wants to ask you something, you’re sure of it, but he doesn’t know how.

Finally, after a moment of awkward quietness, Taehyung finally opens his mouth. “So, here’s the thing,” he starts and you wait for the bomb to drop.

Last time when he approached you like that, he asked you if you would be down for a threesome with him and some guy he met on Tinder. Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you heard his blunt proposition. You were eating lunch at cafeteria and the words casually slipped from between his lips as he chewed on his egg sandwich, like he didn’t just propose you having sex with him and instead asked for a lift to home after work.

Taehyung begged you for a whole week, pleading and convincing it’ll be fun. When you eventually agreed (sex draught make people do stupid things), the other guy didn’t show up. You ended up drinking tequila shots with Taehyung that night in his apartment, and you can’t quite recall how it happened, but somehow you found yourself unzipping your friend’s pants and the rest is history. He passed out right after he came. Now when you think about it, you feel a sudden urge to ask him if he remembers that.

You will do it next time, you promise yourself.

Taehyung though doesn’t ask you about having a threesome or robbing Park Jimin’s house this time. His intentions are pretty much different.

“See, Namjoon split up with his girlfriend few weeks ago,” he says and you prick your ears. “He’s not in good condition right now, as you can see. It was a nasty break up, he found out she’s been cheating on him,” He lets out a long sigh. You bite your lip, imagining Namjoon’s disappointed face when he discovered the truth. What a bitch cheats on someone like him? “So, I thought maybe you could… cheer him up a little bit?” Taehyung ends hesitantly, with a glint of hope in his eyes.

You frown. Cheer him up? Did he just imply what you think about?

“Look, I get it, he’s sad and angry, but what the fuck, Taehyung? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to be his rebound? Make him forget?” you exclaim. Taehyung quickly shakes his head but you don’t let him say anything. “I feel sorry for Namjoon but I’m not going to take advantage of him when he’s literally still hurt.”

“No, it’s not like that!” Taehyung rushes to explain. “Well, maybe it sounded like that but I swear, I didn’t mean that!”

“Then what should I do? Wipe his tears? Tell him a joke? Or maybe-”

“Of course he wants you to suck his brother’s heartbroken dick, doll.”

A sudden, low voice interrupts your conversation. Your eyes follow the direction when it comes from, looking to Taehyung’s left where not even a meter away a very familiar grey-haired man with feline eyes sits.

“Min Yoongi,” you say matter-of-factly.

The leader of emendation team from Sunday’s Spirit editorial raises his hand in which he holds whiskey, greeting you and Taehyung. “Hello, doll. Hello, Taehyung,” he says, not even bothering to look at you.

You elbow Taehyung searching for explanation but he shrugs his shoulders, turning to face the man as well.

“First of all, since when do you call me ‘doll’? We have never spoken a word to each other. Secondly, how long have you been sitting here and listening?” you ask Yoongi.

He snorts, smirking. “Long enough to know how Taehyung comforts his brother after break up.” he simply answers and Taehyung’s cheeks blush in crimson at his words.

“You come here often? I’ve never seen you here before,” you continue, crossing your arms over chest.

Next to you Taehyung lets out a sigh. “Yes, he does. Albeit I haven’t seen him for a while here,” You look at him in confusion. “Yoongi-hyung is Namjoonie-hyung close friend from university days.” he clarifies.

You raise your eyebrows at that. “So Namjoon went to the same school as Park Jimin?”

“Not the same. We met under different circumstances.” Yoongi cuts in.

“They’ve been together in underground rap group, or some shit. Didn’t like each other at first but eventually stuck together till the end of studies.” Taehyung ends and grey-haired man nods.

You can’t help but chuckle at that.

“What’s funny in that?” Yoongi scowls.

“Nothing. I just imagined you and Namjoon in snapbacks, rapping about the unfairness of social hierarchy,” you say, grinning at him.

“Well, you may believe me or not, but we even made a mixtape.” Yoongi reveals proudly, taking a sip of his whiskey.

Your eyes widen in curiosity. “Then what happened? Why aren’t you in Seoul now, still producing music? Why do you work in this stupid newspaper and Namjoon’s a bartender?” you ask interrogatively.

“Life happened, doll. We didn’t have enough money to publish our works so we decided to quit it.”

“Oh,” you breathe out.

You could see the nostalgia written across Yoongi’s face. You feel sorry for him, for Namjoon. Everything is always about the money. That’s why you’re working in Sunday’s Spirit even though it was never your dream in first place. Even though you have much higher ambitions than being Ask and you shall find column author.

Ever since you were little, you loved writing. You never complained, not even once, when your teachers in school assigned you to write something. They kept saying you have an extraordinary talent and it would be a shame if you didn’t do anything with that.

During your high school years, you were the leader of school newspaper’s team, still writing your own works every time you didn’t have something different to do. After that, you got to the university in Seoul, your another dream came true. You got a master degree, an apprenticeship in the Korean version of highly popular, world-widely known magazine. And then, nothing. No job applications available. No newspapers or publishing companies wanting you, dismissing you right away because they didn’t have any vacant places.

This is how Sunday’s Spirit, even if that’s not your dream job, happened. And quite literally saved your ass.

“I’m sorry.” you say after a while.

Yoongi smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t be. What’s in past, stays in past.” he ends the conversation, drinking the rest of his whiskey.

You find this as a perfect possibility to do what you’ve come here for: get wasted, forget about this prick Park Jimin and his stupid assignment. You turn around on your stool to face the bar again, calling for the red-haired bartender named Hoseok who’s substituting Namjoon right now. You order a round of tequilla shots and quickly pours two of them in one go.

“Easy, tiger,” Taehyung teases, still sipping his pink drink as you wipe your chin with the back of your hand. Taehyung has stated a long time ago that he enjoys only casual drinking, which makes you and you lightweightness snort at him.

“Loser,” you mumble under your breath, deep down knowing you’re oh so much going to regret this after.

You focus your attention on the dancefloor now; technicolor lights glittering as the crowd of sweaty people bounce to old Madonna hits. You feel like your spirit might actually experience new kind of awakening during the chorus in Like a Virgin. You mouth the lyrics, the vodka already half-way to your bopping head. Your drunken self almost asks Taehyung and Yoongi if they would agree to be your backup dancers.

You eyes scan the room carefully and then, you spot him. He’s sitting in the corner, his arms splayed over the backrest of the red couch. A devil himself. A black horseman of the Apocalypse. A man who looks like every girl’s next mistake. Taylor Swift’s ‘we are never ever getting back together’.

A true sin.

Jet-black hair parted in the middle, onyx eyes and lucious smirk written across his lips as he bites them purposefully. He’s wearing a leather jacket and you wonder for a while if you would find inked tattoos on his body. He cocks his head to the side, his eyes glued to the same spot as he waits for something, or rather someone.

“Who’s that?” you ask, not even hiding your curiosity at this point.

Taehyung turns around as well, his eyes glancing to the dark-haired man briefly. “Ah, this, sweetheart, is Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin’s best friend.” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You raise your eyebrows, watching as Jungkook’s face expression immediately changes when waitress approaches him. He says something to her that makes her roll her eyes. She tightens her grip around the tray she’s holding, asking him for his order.

“Don’t worry. You are not the only one thirsting over him. I would let him top me too,” Taehyung whispers to your ear and you flinch.

“I’m not thirsting over him! I came her for drinks, not to get laid, I told you.”

“Okay, okay, loosen up a little. Tequilla makes you aggressive. Besides, it looks like he’s got his pick for tonight.”

Jungkook stretches out his hand and fixes the waitress’ glasses that seem to rode down her nose a little. The girl frozes in place because of his action and he grins, calling her cute.

“He’s trying to ask her out for two months,” Yoongi interrupts suddenly, again. It looks like he has nothing better to do tonight. “I’m serious. He’s here every Friday. Normally, he would have given up after the second time she had rejected him but there’s might be something in this girl that makes his dick hard and his heart soft.”

Jungkook’s eyes girl’s body as she bends to pick up the glasses from other tables and maybe that’s the alcohol swimming in your veins but you could swear his face lights up when she sends him another irritated glare when he calls her name.

“Does Park Jimin comes here often as well?” you ask before you could stop yourself.

Both Taehyung and Yoongi shake their heads.

“I don’t think so. Jeon comes here because he lives nearby in this huge ass apartment complex. His father runs a chemical factory and he works there.” Taehyung explains.

Jeon? Chemical factory? Something clicks in your brain. Right, you know who his father is. The King of Washing Powder. Another rich as fuck Busan’s snob.

“God, I hate him. I fucking hate him. What a prick. Douchebag. Asshole of the century,” The string of profanities leaves poor waitress’ mouth as she walks to the counter with tray in her hands. “How’s your day, love? You look beautiful today, love. Fucking leave me alone, love!” she mutters to herself, taking the beer mugs from Hoseok abruptly which makes the bartender raise his eyebrows in confusion.

“How’s your assignment about Mary Magdalene going on, doll?” Yoongi asks then, startling you.

You roll your eyes at him. “I literally got it today, Yoongi. I haven’t started yet.” you answer, gulping another shot.

On the corner of your eye you see Yoongi’s smirking. “I’m surprised, to be honest. You aren’t the only one who doesn’t pay attention to shit Jimin’s says,” he trails off. “I work for him from the moment he started this ridiculous Bible lunch breaks and I swear, he’s never called out someone like that before.”

“What do you mean he’s never called out someone before?” Taehyung joins in curiously.

“Look, I slept through the majority of these sessions and Jimin knows it, but he has never lecture me about it,” Yoongi remarks. “Maybe you’re an exception. Or he’s become more strict because of this bitch Chin-sun.”

You furrow your eyebrows, confused. You know Chin-sun has been making heart eyes for Jimin for a long time but what why it might have an influence on his behavior?

“Lee Chin-sun? What the office’s Mary Magdalene has to do with that? Besides the fact that she’s drooling for his dick every time she sees him,” Taehyung snorts.

Yoongi chuckles lowly. “Oh, so you two really know nothing about what’s going on between them right now,”

“What’s going on right now? Spill.” Taehyung says abruptly. You sigh when you see the way his eyes flicker with mischeviousness. One thing Taehyung loves more than photography and fashion is gossiping (and dicks).

“First of all, Chin-sun is a fucking bigot. And well… she might be closer to being miss Park than we thought.” Yoongi muses.

Taehyung eyebrows practically disappear in his hairline. You’re sure you mirror his expression right now.

Yoongi asks Hoseok for another glass of whiskey and continues. “My friend Seokjin’s wife is Jimin’s personal assistant and secretary. She heard this and that, quite juicy things I must say,” he says in a lower tone, like he’s revealing government secrets to them. You lean closer into his direction along with Taehyung. “Chin-sun’s father recently bought the claims to the most popular, conservative TV station in whole South Korea. But, what is more interesting, it looks like Park senior has some shares in it as well.”

You’re astonished. You knew there’s something looming in the air but you didn’t expect this. A TV station? Even your slightly drunken brain can calculate it’s very interesting.

“So the marriage between Chin-sun and Jimin would be pretty convenient for their families, especially after considering the fact that Jimin is the heir.” Yoongi adds, gulping the first sip of his new whiskey.

“Poor Eunwoo,” you whisper to yourself.

“But why so soon? Why do they want to legalize their relationship so suddenly?” Taehyung asks.

Yoongi lets out a heavy sigh. “There’s a rumour going around that Jimin’s father isn’t in good condition right now. Seokjin-hyung mentioned something about the heart disease. So, if that’s really true, you have the answer why he wants his eldest son to settle down already. Everything’s about the money, I told you.”

Taehyung whistles. “Woah, so Mary Magdalene is really about to be CEO Jesus’ wife soon!” he exclaims, clapping his hands. “Brilliant. Finally something spicy is happening in this boring editorial.”

“I wouldn’t be so enthusiastic if I were you, Taehyung. This kind of business never ends well,” Yoongi says coldly, placing his glass on the counter and standing up from the stool. He glances at his watch and throws a few bills next to his empty glass. “I’ll get going. It was nice talking to you, doll.”

“What about me?”

“Shut up, Taehyung, you’re not pretty lady.”

“I feel offended.”

“And I don’t care,” Yoongi mutters. Maybe that was alcohol swimming in her veins but you saw Taehyung lifting the corners of his lips in amusement. Weird. “Good luck on your assignment, doll. See you all on Monday.” Yoongi glances to your way one last time, adjusting his jacket.

“Bye, Yoongi.” you wave to him and a small, even sincere smile appears on his face when he as well raises his hand lazily and leaves. “Why didn’t you tell me he’s actually nice, Tae? I was always too scared to start a conversation with him because I felt intimidated.” you say after a while.

“I’m sorry, should have I set you up for a date with him?” Taehyung mocks.

A groan escapes your lips. “Could you please stop insinuating things?”

“You need to get laid, seriously. Like soon-soon. You get easily irritated recently. You need a d i c k,”

“I don’t need a dick!”

“A cock, Y/N,” Taehyung emphasizes. “A penis in your precious vagina.”

“Shut up!”

Several shots and a few drunken dances to Cindi Lauper and Bon Jovi, you’re pretty much wasted. And maybe, just maybe, you need a dick. And Taehyung, like a dipshit he always is, thinks that’s actually funny.

“Don’t wanna homff,” you slur, supporting your weight on Taehyung’s arm that shakes with laughter at your drunken antics, as well as his whole body. “I wanna danfce witfh somebodyyy,”

“Holy Mother of Jesus, you must be really drunk if you started referring to Whitney Houston’s songs. And you smell like booze,” Taehyung mutters under his breath and you whine, tugging on his arm.

“TaeTae, Taehyungie, pffleasee, can we go back?”

Taehyung ignores your grumbling completely. He exists the bar, walking (or rather dragging) you to the cab. As he tries to push your body to the car, he sees in the corner of his eye Jeon Jungkook, standing in front of his black SUV. The waitress from earlier accompanies him as well. It looks like he’s trying to convince her to let him give her a lift to home. The girl shakes her head at first but eventually gives up, stepping into the car. Jungkook grins to himself then, clenching his fists in gesture of pure triumph.

“I fuckin’ hate Park Jimin and his stfupid newspaper,” you mutter incoherently as you bury your head in the crook of Taehyung’s neck in the back of the cab. Old, korean songs are playing in the radio when you’re driving back home. Taehyung smiles to himself, hearing your light snores. But then, he falters.

Ah, yes, he almost forgot. It is going to be a long way to the third floor of your apartment building.

Next day, you wake up in the middle of noon with raging headache and an abrupt need to throw everything up. Frankly speaking, you had worse hangovers during you university days but it doesn’t change the fact that the state you’re currently in still sucks.

“Oh, good God, what have I thought?” you mutter to yourself while standing in the shower, letting the water cool you down.

Truth to be told, a drinking escapade when you have a whole ass paper to write in two days wasn’t the smartest idea you could come up with. You know that for sure, when you’re sitting down in front of your laptop with prescription glasses on your face and a cup of tea in your hand.

There’s a blank document opened on the screen, with only your name written in the corner and the title in the middle. You feel pathetic and useless, staring at it for 30 minutes straight. If you keep sitting like this, you might actually call Park Jimin right now and beg him not to fire you due to your incompetence.

“Get your shit together, Y/N.” you say to yourself, clenching your fists.

At first you fought about making some mind-map, outlining the most important parts of your essay, as you always used to do when you were studying. But there’s a huge difference between what you’re working on right now and what you usually did during academic days. Above all, at that time you were writing about things you had more knowledge about, not about Mary Magdalene and her role in Jesus Christ’s life.

“Ah, fuck it.”

You open an online Bible page and quickly type ‘Mary Magdalene’ in browser. All fragments when she’s mentioned shows up in front of your eyes. You fix your glasses and before you could stop yourself, you whisper, “Let’s get it.”

You don’t know how much time has passed since you started reading, but when you glance a the clock it’s nearly 7pm.

You went through every single page in the Bible when Mary Magdalene appears or when for some reason her name comes up in conversations. You read two thesis in which you found quite interesting facts about the heroine of your work. Also, you watched some conspiracy theories on YouTube about her, in which people claim that she was actually Jesus’ wife. You were bewildered, even in your post-hangover state.

And after all of this researching, you have settled a plan. You’re a journalist for God’s sake, you’ve been writing your entire life and none assignment will break you. So you start typing on the keyboard, filling the blank document pages with words, hoping that Park Jimin will approve your efforts.

On Sunday, you look like a ghost.

You’re a mess, cured from hangover but still in bad shape, especially after spending the whole night writing in front of your laptop. There are bangs under your eyes and you hair looks like you could cosplay a scarecrow. Your eyes are sore from staring to the screen for so long and you feel like you might collapse anytime if you won’t drink coffee in five minutes.

In between writing next paragraphs, you answer a call from Taehyung.

“How’s your assignment going, sweetheart?”

You let out a long, exhausted sigh. “It’s fine, I guess.” you respond to him.

“That’s lovely! I knew you would slay this, babe,” you hear him saying.

“I’m not done yet, Tae. I still have like a half to write,” you mumble and then let out a yawn, closing your eyes for a brief second before you speak again. “I would love to talk to you more but I really need to get this shit done as soon as I can, so I could have some decent sleep before Monday. I don’t want to look like an old witch when I hand in the paper to Park Jimin.”

“I know, I know. You got this, sweetheart. I’m sure you will make Mister Prude’s dick hard because of this.” Taehyung assures you.

You crack a tired smile even though you know he doesn’t see you. “Thank you, Tae.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” he says and hangs up.

You take another gulp of your coffee and start writing again.

It’s a little past midnight when you’re, with your last amounts of force you posses, typing the last words of the paper. As you look at your laptop screen, eyelids half-closed, you dream about nothing but going to sleep.

You did that. You really did. You wrote this stupid paper for Park Jimin and you’re actually proud of it. You carefully save the document three times (to be hundred percent sure) and as soon as you close your laptop, you pass out.

Little did you know what is waiting for you in editorial in a few hours.

You stare at your reflection in small mirror you hold, thanking God that he has enlightened the person who discovered make-up. You won’t say you look stunning but, after five hours of sleep you had in last two days, you would risk it all and say you appear much more than decent looking. You’re wearing your new black jumpsuit that makes your legs look longer and you even used a different shade of lipstick, painting your lips in crimson red.

And all of this for nothing, because when you stormed into the Sunday’s Spirit editorial to give the paper straight to Park Jimin’s hands, his secretary with polite smile said he’s coming to work later today.

You pursued your lips and handed the woman your blood, sweat and tears (you’re actually sure a few tears rolled down from your face on the keyboard while you were writing it), wishing you saw your boss’ face when you place the printed pages on his expensive desk.

“I changed a little bit the topic of my work while I was outlining it,” you tell Taehyung as you both sit together by your desks later that day. “I focused more on a role of Mary Magdalene character in world ruled only by men. I showed how a powerful woman she was, standing at Jesus’s side even though the church for the centuries referred her to whore,” you explain.

“Wow,” Taehyung muses. “You turned Mary Magdalene into feminism icon fighting against patriarchy.”

“It’s not like that!” You hit him in the arm. “You may laugh as much as you want but I actually got into her story.”

Taehyung smirks. “Looks like being scolded by Park Jimin wasn’t that bad.”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up. I got humiliated in the middle of fucking cafeteria. I still hate him. And also, I don’t know what he thinks about my essay.” you say with a sigh.

“Don’t worry. He’s probably having an epiphany right now while-”

A voice from the speakers that certainly doesn’t sound like gospel choir interrupts him.

“Miss Y/N, please report to the Park Jimin’s office immadietly.”

“-or he isn’t.” Taehyung ends.

Once again, you’re frozen in place. It’s okay, you tell yourself, maybe he just wants to talk about my essay. But what if he didn’t like it? What if your sudden feminism outburst about Mary Magdalene was too much?

“Holy fuck.” you blurt out quietly.

Taehyung gives you an encouraging smile but he doesn’t look much convinced in positive intentions of summoning you to their boss’ office, he just doesn’t say it aloud. “Well, maybe it won’t be that bad! Maybe he wants to congratulate you,” he tries to comfort you, without success. You look horribly pale and scared to death.

“I repeat: miss Y/N, please report to the Park Jimin’s office immadietly.” Jimin’s stone cold voice pierce through the silence again. You shiver. The journalists in the editorial send you impatient glares.

“Whatever happens, remember that I love you.” Taehyung whispers, squizzing your hand, which makes you even more nervous. He gives you thumbs-up and you take a deep breath, trying to calm your trembling body. A whole Sunday’s Spirit team follow your movements with their eyes.

You stands from your desk on wobbly legs and walk to the door with golden sign hanging on its surface.

 Park Jimin

 Editor-in-chief

You take the knob in your shaking palm and twist, stepping into the lion’s den.

The atmosphere seems to shift when you walk into the room. You could hear your heart rapidly beating through the dead silence that lingers in Park Jimin’s office. “You wanted to see me, sir?” you ask after closing the door, subconsciously cursing yourself for sounding so weak already.

“Yes, have a seat,” Jimin says. “Give me a second. I need to finish something.” he adds when you sit down, not even bothering to spare you a look.

Jimin sits behind his desk, eyes glued to the computer screen. His hair is pushed back from his forehead, his jaw clenched. Oh, great, he looks pissed, you think to yourself.

He isn’t wearing his suit jacket like usually, which surprises you. His white shirt’s sleeves are rolled up, revealing a glimpse of veiny hands and his Rolex. This is the first time you see him like this. He looks so… unlike him.

Strange.

You use the time you have to take in your surroundings. Jimin’s office is painted in fair tone of grey. The rumors were actually right, there’s a smaller version of Michelangelo’s Pietà standing proudly on of the drawers. Behind the desk, on the wall, hangs a wooden cross with gold-plated figurine of Jesus Christ, and just underneath it there’s a framed picture of Lady of Fatima, which he once proudly showed to the whole editorial team on one of the lunchbreaks, saying his grandmother brought him this from her pilgrimage.

You focus your attention now on the wall filled with numerous diplomas and certificates, all of them signed with Park Jimin’s name.

You had read some of his works before you started your job in Sunday’s Spirit and you must admit: Park Jimin is a talented, smart journalist you aspire to be one day. It’s actually sad, you think, that he can’t pursue his career, wasting his abilities by working in catholic newspaper owned by his father. And as you know from Yoongi, his situation isn’t going to change soon. Maybe he was right after all. Money really does rule this world.

After a few minutes that seems to last forever, Jimin breaks the silence. “Do you know why are you here?” he asks, finally averting his attention to you. He stares so deeply into your eyes that you feel you might faint from the intensity of his aura.

You clear your throat, and then respond. “I do believe it’s about my paper I handed in to you this morning.”

Jimin raises his eyebrow at that. “Your paper? No, everything’s fine about it. I read it and I must say, you did a great job,” he says and you furrow your eyebrows. So if nothing’s is wrong with your essay then what does he want?

“Then… why did you call me in, sir?” you hesitantly ponder.

Jimin laces his fingers together and leans closer over the desk. “Well,” he begins, “Maybe you forgot or you really didn’t know about it, but I used to run the same column as you do now,” You nod your head, recalling what Taehyung told you recently. Jimin continues, “I was actually the one who created it. That means I am still, for this day, its administrator. Which leads to another conclusion: every single ask that is send to our editorial and your responses to them can be monitored by me.” he explains, gauging your reaction. You still don’t have an idea why is he telling you that, so you just sit still and wait.

Then, Jimin reaches for the paper that lays on the left side of his desk and hands it to you. “Could you please tell me what is this?” he asks, pointing at the paper.

You glance at it briefly. “These are the questions I got last week and my responses to them.” you reply straightaway.

Park Jimin doesn’t seem much satisfied after hearing your words. He then takes another paper and gives it to you as well. “And this particular one, Y/N? Could you please read it and tell me what is this?”

Ignoring his forego of ‘miss’, you take it to your hands and start reading.

Dear Sunday’s Spirit editorial,

My name is Kang Seoyeon. I study medicine at the University of Seoul, I’ve got an amazing group of friends and a loving boyf-

You gasp and immadietly put a palm over your mouth. Under Seoyeon’s ask there’s also, clear as day, your much inappropriate response to her. In which you persuade the girl to suck her boyfriend off.

Holy fuck. Jesus Christ. Shitshitshit!

Jimin said he monitors everything that people send to the editorial along with the responds. Of course he had to read it. Why have you been so dumb? How could you believe that simple deleting from your inbox would be enough? Why can’t you do something properly for once?

You gulp, trying not to cry because good God, he’s going to fire you. He will kick you out and write a bunch of negative letters to your future employees, in which he will explain in details how disobiedent, reckless of a worker you are.

“Did you also forget how to speak?” Jimin asks. You almost cry out right away from the coldness of his voice.

You muster up a courage and look at him, and that’s a huge mistake because as soon as your eyes meet his, you’re lost for words.”I-I don’t know what to say, sir,” you stammer out. “I have nothing for my defence. I can only apologize for my irresponsible and inappropriate behavior I exhibited.” you say, bowing your head down.

Jimin pursues his lips. He stands from his chair and walks to you, leaning his body on the desk. He takes the paper from you to his hands and starts reading. “If you want to fuck your boyfriend, do it. Maybe God wouldn’t approve that but don’t worry, he won’t send you to hell because of some dick in your pussy,“ he quotes your response to the girl and your cheeks flush in red; you wish nothing more than to disappear and never see your boss again. But he’s relentless and continues reading, spilling the crude words, humiliating you even more. “So you go girl, suck your boyfriend off. Make him beg. He will never leave you after this.“ Jimin chuckles to himself darkly and you shut your eyes. “Look at me when you are spoken to,” he demands. You quickly oblige, lifting your chin a little to meet his intense gaze. “Is that really how a good, catholic girl should act?” he asks in a mocking tone.

You shake your head. “No, it isn’t.”

Jimin clicks his tongue. “Do you think he really won’t leave her after this?” he asks out of the blue.

You furrow your eyebrows. What kind of twisted game is he playing now? “I don’t know, sir.” you answer honestly.

Jimin smirks. Devilishly, sultry and completely illegal. He then licks his lips and leans closer to you. You could swear his eyes are darken than before. Something has shifted in his demeanor; he looks daring. “Why don’t you show me then, how this poor girl should suck her boyfriend off, Y/N?” he whispers lowly.

Your eyes widen. Did he just-?

He didn’t. He can’t. Maybe you misheard him, maybe you started imagining things that aren’t real. Oh, sweet Lord, the look of absolute seriousness written on his face tells you very much different.

Park Jimin, your boss, the man who goes regularly on masses and reads Bible, wants you to give him a head. In his office.

May the God help you.

You should probably slap him in the face for his immoral proposition. You should save your dignity, leave and never come back again. But then, you clear your mind from all those twisted thoughts running through it and you realise that you’re walking on a very thin line. Line which is called unemployment and bankruptcy.

You think about your landlord who praised you recently for keeping up with rent every month regularly. You think about your student loans that you still need to pay.

And fuck, you hate Yoongi because he was damn right. Money wouldn’t buy you happiness, but it can provide you that.

That’s why you put away the humiliation, the what ifs. You shut your mind screaming at you and listing the future consequences. Maybe Jimin just tests you, but the way he looks at you denies it. He wants to see you on your knees in front of him. Perhaps he only wants to play before he fires you but you put that thought aside.

You at least need to try.

Jimin searches for any kind of protest in your eyes and when he doesn’t find it, he’s back to his domineering self. “What are you waiting for?” he asks, his voice an octave lower. “Get on your knees.”

He has a calm expression on his face and you wonder for a moment how many times has he been in similar situation before. Having a woman on his mercy and using her the way he likes. And now you know. All those stories you heard about, are actually true. Park Jimin isn’t a prude. He’s dirty.

You fall to the floor with a light whimper. Maybe it’s the last chance for you to leave, but the confidence that emanates from Jimin doesn’t falter your movements. You hate yourself for that but God, you want to see this man being a mess for your touch. Even if that’s fucked up.

And it’s wrong, so, so wrong, when there’s a cross hanging behind you, when he’s your boss who claims to be a good catholic, when you do that because you’re too afraid to lose your job. But in that moment, the morality doesn’t exist.

Jimin stands up to take his belt off, looking at you from the above as he slowly, purposefully pulls it from the belt loops. He doesn’t encourage you or say anything, he just waits. You gulp when he yanks his black slacks down, along with his underwear.

For a few, solid seconds, you just stare.

You aren’t a connoisseur of dicks. Dick is a dick, but Park Jimin’s length is just as perfect as the rest of him, semi-hard against his lower stomach. Your hands move to his sculpted thighs, running up and down, tracing the prominent lines of his toned abdomen. The muscles tense underneath your touch.

You don’t remember when was the last time you’ve gone down on someone. Maybe it was Taehyung few months ago when you were both too drunk to care? You can’t quite recall. Every move of yours is uncertain, but Jimin doesn’t mind. Maybe your uncertainty turns him on even more.

He watches as you take him in your palm hesitantly, hot and already stiff, stroking him several times until he hardens in your hand. The sight is purely erotic, filthy, and you lick your lips before placing a light kiss on his tip. Jimin hisses. That’s a warning. No teasing.

You pump him, trailing a thumb over his slit, spreading precum all over his cock. Jimin doesn’t say anything but from the shuddering breath he lets out you assume he likes it. You take a deep breath, wrapping your lips around his dick and swirling your tongue around the head.

Jimin groans, a guttural sound resonating through his whole body and you take it as a sign to continue. You ease more of him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and bobbing your head up and down around his length obediently. Some twisted and fucked-up part of you wants him to praise you, call you good girl with your lips around his dick and throbbing core. He does none of that. His hands tangle in your hair as he withdraws, and you know exactly what’s coming next.

It’s an unspoken question on his lips and your jaw falls slacks on command.

A forceful push of his hips and he’s burried deep inside your mouth till he hits the back of your throat. Tears brim in your eyes and you gag, breathing heavily through your nose. It hurts a little, a dull ache but the content sigh and fucked-out expression on Jimin’s face is worth it. So you let him fuck your mouth the way he wants, let him pull your hair harder, wreck you a little more. It’s so easy to submit to him, to let him overwhelm you in every sense possible.

Your eyes fall shut and Jimin stops his movements, pulling from your mouth. Drool dribbles down your chin and you wipe it with the back of your hand. Jimin lets out a shaky breath, staring down at you so intensely it makes your insides tighten, even if you don’t see him yet.

“Look at me,” he rasps and you do, how could you not. The sight of your boss’ flushed cheeks and sweat forming on his forehead will be imprinted in your mind forever.

You curse yourself for wanting him to fuck you senseless right against his deck, with a hand around your throat muffling your screams, fuck you so hard you won’t remember your name anymore, no matter how wrong it is.

“Good girl. You’re so pretty like this, letting me fuck your mouth,” Jimin nothing but purrs, filling you to the brim again, until there are tears forming in your eyes and running down your cheeks, until he hits the base of your throat again and again and you fight back choked gags every time. “Just like that, fuck-” he moans, lowly and beautifully, head thrown back and mouth parted.

He’s close, you could feel that, so you take him deep once again and when your throat tightens around him one last time, he lets out a gutural groan and comes. You swallow every drop of his bitter release and when he pulls out from your mouth, you nearly fall forward.

Jimin catches you, placing his hands on your shoulders, balancing your exhausted body. You look at him through your half-lidded eyes. He looks so young now, so innocent, his cold demeanor’s gone and replaced by pure bliss written on his face. For Park Jimin, cheeks rosy, disheveled hair and loosen tie, you would do it all over again.

He then does something unexpected. He reaches for your face, brushing your tangled hair away and placing the strands behind your ears. This is a loving gesture, something exclusive he definitely shouldn’t be doing. You’re frozen, you can’t move a muscle while he wipes your cheeks from the reminiscences of your tears. He trails his thumb over your swollen lips absentmindedly, faltering there. For a moment he looks like he might say something, but he quickly shuts his mouth, regaining his previous posture.

You take this as a sign to leave. You get up from the floor, your knees sore from the uncomfortable position you’ve been in. You walk to the mirror that hangs on the wall of Jimin’s office. You sigh, seeing your current state. There’s no way someone would believe you that you haven’t just sucked a dick.

Your cheeks are flushed in pink, there are smudges of mascara under your eyes and your lipstick is smeared in the corners of your mouth. Not to mention your hair is still a mess.

You are painted in all shades of wrong.

In the reflection of the mirror you see Jimin buckling up his belt and straightening his tie. He runs a hand through his blond locks and looks up, catching you staring at him. You quickly look away.

“Don’t worry. No one will notice anything. Everyone should be off for their lunchbreaks by now.” he says. He sounds so pathetically normal, yet there’s still a slight rasp in his voice.

You glance at the watch on your hand and check the time. It’s a little past 12. You brush your hair with your fingers quickly and proceed to leave, but you stop, remembering you have to ask about one last thing. You turn around to face him.

“Are you going to write a bad opinion about me to my future employees?” you ask, flinching at the hoarseness of your voice.

Jimin raises his eyebrows. “Bad opinion? No, absolutely not,” he answers, shaking his head. “I was never going to fire you in first place.”

You fight back the shocked expression that threatens to appear on your face. You quickly rush to leave this damn office and never look in his eyes ever again. What were you even thinking?

“And Y/N,” Jimin’s voice makes you stop with your hand hovering over the door knob. Single tear rolls down your cheek and you gulp. “I’m sorry.” it’s all he says.

You don’t ask him what he meant by that. You don’t deliberate if he was sincere or not. You leave the office as soon as you can, running to the nearest bathroom, closing the door behind you and leaning on it.

He wasn’t going to fire you. He just wanted to use you, demand to get down on your knees and please him the way he wants. It was all a game for him, and you became his plaything.

“I’m so stupid,” you mutter to yourself, burying your head in your hands. “God, I’m so stupid.”

You feel sick, used, but at the same time you can’t get away with creeping feeling that you enjoyed it, wishing he wanted you just as much as you wanted him in that moment.

You sigh, closing your eyes. You’re probably foolish for thinking it won’t have any consequences. You’re just about to face them.

The coldness of early Spring hits you when you exit Sunday’s Spirit editorial. You hug your body tighter with your coat, standing in front of the building awkwardly. You take a few deep breaths, trying to clear your mind, but nothing really works. There’s a vacant space inside your body, like your soul has drifted away and left nothing but emptiness.

You feel hollow.

You don’t know how long have you been standing there, inhaling fresh air and waiting for your blood to start circulating properly in your veins again. When you’re about to head to the underground station, on the corner of your eye you see Jimin’s black Mercedes. You probably shouldn’t stare but you helplessly do.

Probably if you didn’t, it would hurt less.

He approaches the car, looking perfectly fine as always, which you couldn’t say about yourself. And he isn’t alone.

You recognize dark curls of Chins-sun’s hair, contrasting her beige coat beautifully. The corners of Jimin’s lips lift when he sees her. You don’t know if it’s a honest smile or a forced one. You wonder for a while how does he look like when he’s truly happy. Maybe he’s happy now, when Chin-sun is by his side.

What you are really sure about Park Jimin, is that he’s a man of many maybes.

Something which definitely doesn’t look forced are his palms, cupping the cheeks of Chin-sun’s flushed face. He starts tracing circles on her skin in intimate gesture and murmurs something. Maybe he asks her how was her day. Your lips still tingle where he trailed his thumb over it bitten, swollen surface. Maybe he still remembers how they felt around his cock when he was relentlessly bringing tears to your eyes and stabs to your heart.

The way he leans and kisses Chin-sun’s cherry colored lips is purposeful, perfectly measured. Maybe he sighs into her mouth with content, a beautiful sound you have witnessed with your own ears, as you were working him to his climax. Jimin’s hands grip Chin-sun’s dark locks but it isn’t the similar manner he did to you earlier, as he laced his fingers through the strands, when you wished him to do nothing more than pull harder and harder, until the pain in you scalp was replaced by dull ache, until a whimper fell from your lips and eyes squeezed shut. He kisses Chin-sun lovingly and there’s no roughness in that. It’s gentle caresses and soft murmurs.

After a moment he breaks off, soothing his palms over Chin-sun’s shoulders. She sends him a smile and opens the passenger’s door, getting into the car. And then, when you swallow a lump in your throat, when you decide to turn around and go, run as fast as you possibly can, when you dream about nothing more but never seeing him again, you catch eyes with him.

Jimin looks pathetically apologetic. There’s something in his dark brown orbs you can’t read. Maybe it’s guilt, maybe regret. Park Jimin is a man of many maybes, yet he stares at you with expression you could only mistaken for sadness.

You wonder if he sees the way your eyes stare at him blankly. You wonder if he knows how he nearly wrecked your body and made you feel things you shouldn’t. If he hurts the same way as you do now. However, Jimin quickly diverts his head away from you, closing the door to his car behind him as well. You laugh quietly at the ridiculousness of this situation. A bitter laugh that escapes your mouth and deepen the hollowness inside you.

A hand touches your arm and you don’t even flinch, knowing already who it is.

“So you know the news,” Taehyung says, looking at Jimin’s car leaving the parking lot. How long has he been standing behind you?

“What news?” you ask, turning your head to look at him.

“Chin-sun is really going to be miss Park officially,” he replies. “Jimin proposed to her this weekend. The wedding is in may. But that’s not important right now. How’s your conversation with him, sweetheart?”

You feel sick. You excuse yourself, mentioning something about needing to catch earlier train and texting him later. Taehyung calls after you but you don’t listen. You start running.

You run until you couldn’t breathe, until there’s a soreness in your throat from the coldness of air. You run until you reach your apartment, stumbling into it on wobbly legs. Your back touches the wall and you slide off, sitting on the floor.

You don’t cry. The tears don’t strain your eyes. It’s only this damned, dull hollowness.

There’s written in the Bible that a guilty person is the one who broke God’s law, who committed a sin. The said person will be judged by their actions after their death. Because every human being has a conscience, the thing that sets the line between good and bad, so when we did something wrong, we should feel remorse.

When you sit on the floor and stare blankly in front of yourself, you know you have sinned.You both did. You wonder if he, trailing patterns of tender touches on his fiancee’s skin, feels the same as you. You wonder if guilt eats him up as much as devours you. Maybe there’s hollow ache in his chest, just like in yours. Maybe he doesn’t feel anything.

And may the God help you both find your redemption.

[babysprouseisart]

Honestly more things are pointing to a permanent separation for SH. No indications of any reconciliation sadly. And it makes it even harder without the confirmation. I guess when they start to get papped with their new SOs will be the day that it is confirmed they are done. And I hope it is soon. This push and pull with them is exhausting

Good day, anon, and welcome to hell. Screams for help will not save you, alas, because when it comes to a topic in which I am 99, 9% sure, I have no equals. I'm sorry you probably got the wrong address, but it's too late. I am merciless and bloodthirsty with anyone who tries to contradict my faith, tries to correct my point of view and convince me of their own, although I did not give it a reason. Because it's my fucking blog where I for x-billionth time has already expressed my exact points and agreed with some people which think and proved the exact opposite to all that you are saying. So be prepared to be slowly but surely tortured by my long ass post.

 So, let's start with what I said about my blog: only good vibes here. I am not interested/concerned about other opposite/negative feedings. I just don't want to make a big deal about it. Here, in my blog, we support Lili Pauline Reinhart and Cole Mitchell Sprouse in any case as couple as well as individuals.

 This means that under no circumstances do we talk about them, their relationships, their projects, their family, or their decisions in a negative way. Yes, we may disagree with something they do, where they do it, and how they do it (what they post, what they like/don't like, write or repost, who they meet, with whom they decide to be, live and communicate with, what they archive/unarchive, and so on), but we do not have the right to judge them or decide how to act. We also can't control it and it's none of our business.

 I repent if I once made the appearance of a person condemning one of them or their family for their actions and possible causes of the separation, it was only my objective external disagreement, points and thoughts aloud, nothing more rude, involved and inappropriate. And I think with many of my words said earlier (or the words of those I follow and reblog their posts) about the behavior of family/friends of Lili, Cole, and so on, people with brains and common sense could agree. Remember this, or write it on your forehead, so that the next time you write to me, you will see these words.

 Moving on, taking into account all of the above, I would like to tell you that it probably won't be enough for one blog to explain to you point by point all my beliefs and points of view on this subject, to prove to you that every fucking word you say is illogical shit and the most real nonsense. It feels like you're an alien who fell from another planet and decided to crawl into our hole with your impressions of a newborn baby who doesn't understand much about the world and its creators. Although in this case, I'm more of the opinion that you are a little asshole, in which the vein of hatred is boiling and you like to come to this and some other blogs to tell us your agenda although we have no idea where you have such rash thoughts, perhaps you have an extra chromosome? Dude, treat your paranoia.

 Further, given that I don't have much time and desire to describe all my points of view point by point, which, unlike your random set of words, really makes sense for hundreds or even thousands of people who have the gray matter to be able to think, I will attach my long - standing post, indicating all the facts at that time proving the opposite to yours. Although, I will try to supplement everything else as much as I can.

 While, we all ( I hope) already realized and accepted that for many reasons, during this quarantine, Lili and Cole had some problems, were distant and ended up apart for a certain period of time, immediately after the end point of the explosion and informing us of all these public actions on social media (I hope you understand), then after a few weeks, they were already confidently moving towards resolution and recovery and that's why:

https://babysprousehart.tumblr.com/post/618026656780648448/hello-i-hope-this-doesnt-come-off-negatively

This was written long before, but still has many valid points and I just want to widen some of them.

Take a sit and follow me word by word.

I shall start my addition of evidence, based on all the guesses and great opinions of others, as well as hints from the Lili and Cole themselves. I would like to start with a significant event and the day when Lili posted a photo from the Antelope Valley on April 28th, well, or 27th, depending on where you are.

Perhaps we lose some missing pieces in this puzzle and forget about something that was done earlier, but I just want to start counting from this moment.

A few facts about this photo/photos:

1) It was posted exactly 3 years later from their famous photoshoot, when very, very, very many people, mostly in media, began to suspect that there is something between them in a romantic way. It was exactly in the same place, exactly with the same style, exactly in a similar image (waving curly hair, light flying dress, black and white effect) and even without a capture. The picture marked the anniversary and is very important for the two of them. An undeniable fact, beat me.

2) That photo was definitely taken by Cole. Why?

Here are a couple more facts in addition to the first:

They have the quality of captured on professional camera.

You can see, that Lili did not tag the photographer and said jokingly that the photo was taken by Milo, why would she lie, or hide that it was anyone else, because clearly she just hid that because it was Cole.

You may have noticed that Austin, when asked who took the photo, whether she took it and whether she is a good photographer, says no and her reaction with a grin and laugh is priceless. She also didn't tag nor the photographer, neither Lili in her photos from there.

You can watch the vlog in the Colleen blog and see there are very similar figures to Cole, Lili and Milo walking along the valley, because, duh, they were there.

You can view her post, where you can see Cole from the back (notice his dark clothing, the same as on one of his post in the profile, which he has already deleted, as well as his position from which the photo of Lili was supposedly taken and it is just in the same place).

You can observe his style of photography and how similar the theme is to the photos from 2017.

You can see the same poppy behind his ear in one of the past stories.

You may have noticed that the photo of Lili is processed with the same effect as several photos in Cole's profile, and I can tell you as an amateur photo editor that it is very identical.

Question: why arrange such a significant photoshoot with your ex after a few weeks of separation? Why is Cole smiling in a photo (black and white one with a mustache and black clothes) probably taken there? Why is everything so secretive if they broke up? Why even post a photo that your ex-boyfriend definitely took? How can you calmly go to this place, which reminds you of your joint travels with your former lover? Therefore, this photo and later another one from there were the first iron arguments in confirming the improvement of things.

 I would like to continue with another ironclad proof.

Lili in early may very fiercely, after a few weeks of Cole's statements about slander and threats, which she did not respond to so clearly at the time, defended Cole and pointed out the private relationship and literally said that people should stop it and even though should hurt and bully her, but not him.

Question: did she defend her ex so publicly? Would Lili talk about a private relationship if that was the way her past relationship was most often? Would she have written anything at all if she didn't care about him and didn't feel something towards him? I don't think so, so it's gibberish to say so (about the break up) when it's the second unquestionable argument.

 Next, we need to talk about the general activity of Cole and Lili in social media. I just want to list some observations, in different order, but it seems like everything we have now:

If earlier it was visible in the posts of Lili that it was clearly a show off, then over time and after the published photos, she began to behave more sincerely and tenderly, began to publish Milo less, began to say that there was only the two of them less, has stopped showing how good she is without certain someone, as if for Cole showing that she could cope without him, which was visible in the posts and stories, she began to talk more about improving her mental health as a result of training, spoke about how later she was feeling better and that she was grateful for those who were with her and difficult times and in light moments, that you just need to live and enjoy.

Additionally, I can say how she shone with each photo, and it was a natural glow of happiness and settling down. She no longer sang sad songs or posted sad songs, on the contrary, posted sexy, funny and relaxed ones. She appeared more in photos taken by paparazzi. She posted sexy, energetic, romantic movies, funny cartoons, watched funny clips, was excited about her project, laughed, danced with her dog, played with a dog with macaroni, cosplayed Willy Wonka (we all have a feeling it’s Cole’s thing, no?), playing with sand, puzzles, posted funny memes in story, which unfortunately coolly accepted as the opposite, posted a poem with a typo and funny answered to a fan who corrected it, told more about poems and attached a photo with a fragment of a poem about love from her upcoming book. She liked some photos from the anniversary of the last episode of the series, where we remember there was a hot scene of her and Cole's character, she liked a Bughead drawing. Yesterday, she actually posted one of the sexiest videos that will not be posted, being single and lonely, we saw that she actually spent more personal time with Cole (I am not saying they weren’t doing t back then), which was investigated thanks to many amazing people here, and even if they don't live together yet, they are more likely to meet and have met with each other, and more hints on sexy times (because, come one, maybe Milo was the one who left a hickey on her neck, huh?), which is undeniable, just compare the fact that she is no longer in the old rental, and he is not in Kj's house, she then posted a photo from some place, which is very similar to where Cole shot a video with Jimmy Fallon.

 He also began to be more active in social networks, exactly after she started posting photos of the Antelope Valley, he posted a series of photos of the kissing couple, even if it was a gay drawings, they were filled with love, there was a photo of him with cattle with the sarcastic caption, then the photo about porn bots, with funny ask to leave him alone and saying it’s not allowed to be horny on quarantine, again a photo of himself with heart eyes that I talked about above, he posted a very funny video recently. There were more photos from the paparazzi after some time when Lili's usually flashed, and then it stopped, then his humorous photo in the washing machine appeared, which she probably had taken, and why so I explained in the attached post, he posted a photo from the walk, which was also probably taken with her, because again, she had a similar location, then he jokingly called Tommy ‘the’ muse, maybe roasting fans, but he didn’t use ‘my’, so, indicating he still has his own muse, then we saw him at that damn party, which caused people's panic, although he is an ordinary person and has the right to relax, and by the way at this party he was very happy and frisky, but nothing bad or shameful happened and he is innocent, then we even saw Cole, after Lili, delete many of the photos, although he had also unarchived some of them several times, as she had, which means that he did not delete them completely, but just removed many of them, leaving the most tender photo after or before the kiss at the famous moment when Lili wanted a toast and eggs at 1 am, or many photos reflecting her body, which also marks not a bad phenomenon, but a simple trolling from them. Proof of this trolling and unarchiving is on the vastness of other blogs and on Twitter, thanks to that girl's video.

 The way their condition and activity on social networks have changed is very noticeable and is also third undeniable fact of denial of the break up. You can compare photos of Cole taken by Alex, where he is clearly very sad and depressed, because it was taken somewhere in the interval of their real breakup. And compare this with his smiling and playful state during the interview with Jimmy, where he also sparkled with happiness and fun, constantly smiling and seemed to be aroused about something (or someone). I think even a newcomer will notice a change in their mood and attitude. You will see the difference. And this does not happen when going through the break up after 4 years of deeply imbued with love relationships. Please understand, damn it.

 I have listed alas not everything that speaks so vividly about things going in the right positive direction and is evidence that everything is getting better again, there will be only more I assure you and you will kiss my ass, as Cole said.

 Execution cannot be pardoned.

 You have one attempt to put a comma and decide your fate, but I think you’ll  fail because you are a total sucker anyway.

 Bye!

[tawneybel]

Happy Mischief Night!

I’m on Lo Loestrin Fe for my ovarian cysts. I’ve been in pain since July 15th but it’s greatly subsided because I know the cause of it now! My period started on October 1st after skipping August and September entirely, maybe because October’s my favorite month and fall calms me lol. It also lasted thirteen days. Am I breaking out because I’m on the pill, or because I ate like three chocolate bars and a key lime pie this month? The only time I eat sweets is when I’m menstruating or it’s a holiday. 

My next gyne appointment is in late November and I wonder if I’m going to have to have a laparoscopy, ugh. I haven’t been able to do abdominal exercises since mid-July. Swimming was out of the question because of covidiots. :/ I also need to schedule my wisdom teeth removal.

The rest of this post is about the Ginger Snaps trilogy because I felt that series deserved its own review post. (Even if it’s short.) I haven’t written one of those in a while! There are so many notes on my phone from all the horror movies I ‘ve watched this year. These notes are from months ago so hopefully I remembered everything correctly lol.

Ginger Snaps

Less than two minutes in and a doggy died. But the rest of the franchise makes up for it. The first two are some of the few chick flicks I really like, alongside Carrie, Gone Girl, and Heathers. Brigitte is one of my favorite types of goth characters. You don’t require heavy makeup, all-black clothing, or to wear certain brands. Sometimes all you need are skeleton accessories, mostly black clothing, a dark soundtrack, and of course morbid interests. (The bone pens were so cute!) The Fitzgerald sisters’ fascination with gruesome deaths could be off-putting, but pre-lycanthropy they seemed like they had promising photography careers. 

Ginger and Brigitte’s mom was truly ride-or-die until the end. A deleted scene has her take the blame for the killings. I wish first period cakes were the norm. In a way I got one, because I reached menarche a week before my twelfth birthday. At first I thought the girls were fraternal twins. The silver belly button ring insertion was like a hardcore version of the earlobe piercing scene from The Parent Trap. Ginger Snaps is like a dark inversion of that movie, sortakindanotreally, where the sisters grow farther apart. At the end, they are without their parents. Not because the protagonists are left orphans, but because they felt like they couldn’t tell Mom and/or Dad about the paranormal aspects of Ginger’s belated puberty. Again, if you like Carrie, check this out. 

For a guy with three sisters, Jason sure was a d-bag towards girls. I like how he just walked off with a syringe in his neck. The audience never learns what happens to him. We never learn the identity of the male wolf from Unleashed, but the creators say it wasn’t him or Sam. 

There’s also some excellent dark humor. On hiding bully Trina’s body: “Shallow grave? I don’t know, just seems appropriate. Also, “I can see your gaunch!” Apparently that’s Canadian slang. 

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

The first sequel I actually liked more than the original. I plopped it on my fave horror movie list. 

Getting hit on by someone who works at a place you frequent is not usually pleasant. Jeremy was kind-hearted, at least. Too bad Brigitte’s admirer had to off him. Okay, I can’t remember why, but I thought Dr. Brookner was a pervo like Tyler. Tyler’s a horrible person, but a great character. Because he took sex/ual advantage of young addicts, but looked out for Ghost. Again, horrible person, but his character showed you can’t clock a rapist 24/7. Unleashed is also great because it passed the Bechdel test without making a big deal about it. It’s just organic. Female characters talking to each other. 

As I said before, we never learned the Best of Bailey Down nor the stalker’s identity, but it made the movies feel more realistic, not having all the answers. “Beautiful” by Joydrop was a fitting credit song, because it describes Ginger and Brigitte’s relationship prior to the former’s death. 

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning 

While this wasn’t as enjoyable as the first two, it’s definitely one of the better pieces of werewolf media I’ve consumed. The Beginning is basically a historical AU, although I think Brendan Fletcher is the only “original” actor besides Perkins and Isabelle.

This movie and THIR13EN Ghosts taught me JR Bourne was born to play a DILF. Teen Wolf introduced me to him, so I was already in love when I got to daddy Russell Lightbourne from The 100. (I have to catch up on season seven, now that it's finally on Netflix. I was having trouble accessing On Demand for a few days, when it took NOS4A2’s second season off. Darn it. The hourglass dude is hot. Still gonna write for it.) Bourne just ages so well. DADDY.

Song of the Day: “Halloween” by Aqua.

[thefloatingstone]

Would you please make me a list of your rcommended comics(books or web-series any genre original content or fanworks)

Oh that’s a god one! Thank you so very much 💙 Let me see what I have on my shelf and on my hard drive. (I don’t know if I’ve ever made a list of my favourite comics before or not here on tumblr?)

in no particular order;

1: Usagi Yojimbo by Stan Sakai

I dunno if it ever really shows or not, but Japanese historical settings are something I’m really into! I think it’s one of those dormant interests that flares up every now and then. Anyway. Usagi Yojimbo has basically been tied for my favourite comic for over 10 years now. It’s a series of stories, both short and with longer arcs, following the character of Miyamoto Usagi (roughly based on Miyamoto Musashi) travelling around the country of Japan in the early 1600s as a Ronin after the lord he served was defeated and killed in battle. Usagi, being one of his samurai, is not killed in the same battle which, considering his lord was killed, is a massive disgrace in historical Japanese culture. Basically along the thought of “If your lord died and you didn’t you must not have fought hard enough to protect him.”

Anyway, the comic is both a history lesson on Edo period Japan, a travel diary, a slice of life comic, a Chanbara, an action comic, some times even a horror or ghost story, a tragedy involving unfulfilled love and lost families, a lesson on traditional Japanese Yokai and other mythology, and now and then high fantasy.

10/10. HIGHLY recommend. The author Stan Sakai is also a wonderful person I’ve had the pleasure to meet a few times at Comic Con. And considering he like... remembers who I AM despite being an extremely famous comic artist... I dunno. I have endless respect for the man and he’s shown me great kindness in the past.

Also you know... black and white comics. They’re my jam, yo!

2: Bone by Jeff Smith

I have no idea if I even have to say anything because Bone might just, without hyperbole, be the greatest comic ever drawn.

At 1300+ pages drawn over the course of 10 years, the story starts out as a cartoon, full of hijinks and fun adventures and jokes and very slowly, reality starts setting in, things get more dangerous, the stakes get higher, the bad guys much darker. And by the time you reach book 3 of the 9 book story, you’re suddenly in a story of the “epic” variety. Not in the internet slang term but in the actual definition of the word.

You have massive wars between men and monsters, you have clashing cultures and ideologies, conflicting motivations and goals, and of course saving the world.

And it manages to do so without you EVER feeling “Excuse me but this was a cartoon book about funny jokes. This shift in tone is really weird and doesn’t work with the cartoony characters.”

It just blends and grows beautifully. And has remained as my favourite comic for... *counts* lord... 14 years now.

The book was recently released in a new colour version in case you prefer hat, but I honestly recommend “The Brick” single volume black and white version. It’s cheaper, first of all, but also I cannot express how masterful the blacks and whites of Bone are. They’re essentially Watterson level.

(also Jeff Smith is ANOTHER comic artist who is just like... the nicest person. Like REALLY nice. He’s been kind to me on occasions in that “you really didn’t have to be that nice” kind of way)

3: The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck by Don Rosa

It’s published by Disney officially... but the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is essentially a fancomic. The only reason its not is because Don Rosa became SO GOOD at making duck comics Disney hired him to make them officially and he was SO GOOD at it became one of the most important Duck artists just after Carl Barks (the creator of Scrooge) himself.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is a comprehensive biography of Scrooge McDuck’s life, not just made up by Don Rosa, but pieced together from Carl Barks’ own comics where he would have Scrooge make passing mention to events in his past or people he met. Don Rosa essentially took all these passing remarks and mentions and drew out a timeline, starting with Scrooge age 13 leading all the way up to his reunion with his family when Donald as an adult met up with him again.

It starts with Scrooge, from a poor family in Glasgow in 1877, boarding a ship for America to seek his fortune. We follow him through the years as with each chapter, he comes close to being rich and successful, only for it to fail or fall apart at the last minute, until, eventually, we see him catch his break and become the obscenely rich and successful person he’s fought and worked and bled so hard to be.

...and then the comic continues. And we see him lose himself. Greed, the constant need for MORE money and MORE success keeps going. The need to show HOW rich and successful he is takes over, until we see him and his family fall apart. And the comic echoes Citizen Kane as Scrooge realises the best time of his life was when he was seeking riches, not after he finally succeeded.

And then Donald and his nephews appear, and Scrooge’s life gets a second wind. His lust for adventure flares up again, his need to seek fortunes and treasures burns as strong as ever. And he keeps going.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is a story about looking for your place in the world and fighting to create it with your own two hands, but it’s also about how you should think hard where you place your value in life, and it’s never too late to re-direct course and try again.

There is also “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck Companion” which is a collection of stories that didn’t fit in with the original comic and would have disrupted flow. Basically like how a fanfic will have oneshots related to a larger story

Also, the producer of the band “Nightwish” created a soundtrack to accompany the original comic as a sort of “What If” in what he imagined the story would sound like if it was made into a movie

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4: Cucumber Quest by Gigi D.G. ( @ggdgart )

A newer comic I stumbled upon which has skyrocketed into being a fave and I can already tell, that’s not a position it’s gonna relinquish. Cucumber Quest is a more cartoony and comedic story than the previous comics on this list. But that by no means makes it of any less value or dulls the moments that this comic decides to punch you in the gut with emotions HARD.

The art and colours are glorious and something I hope to study so I can better my own art hopefully, and the writing and humour is of a calibre that I just know I could not replicate it if I even tried. Full of puns, absurdism, awkward jokes and a whole lot of FEELINGS, It manages to make me both laugh myself into a coughing fit as often as it makes me yell “OH NOOOO!!!” when something dramatic happens.

The story follows our main character Cucumber, a put-upon out-of-his-depth wizard-to-be who is tasked with saving the world from the evil Nightmare Knight who has been summoned from his thousand year slumber by an evil sorcerer who wants to take over the world (as you do). With him is his little sister, the sword wielding Almond, who is WAY more into this “being a hero” thing than he is (and probably better at it too) as the duo make friends and travel to the various kingdoms to defeat the Nightmare Knight’s lackeys, working their way up to fighting the Nightmare Knight himself and sealing him away once more!

That all sounds.... really straightforward, doesn’t it? Well... that’s what everybody else in the comic thinks too. ...Shame that real life is never easy and straightforward.

From evil henchmen that start crushing on cool “Good Guys” with cool swords, good guys who don’t REALLY want to hurt the bad guys because they don’t seem so bad? To cool good guys with cool swords suddenly learning that being in danger is not as much fun as it sounded when they started this. To big evil final boss bad guys who are just tired of all of this...

What’s also awesome is the entire comic... all OVER 800 PAGES OF IT... is completely free to read online! But you can also buy physical copies of the first 4 volumes in book form to support the author! 

http://cucumber.gigidigi.com/cq/page-1/

I HIGHLY recommend this one too! It has canon LGBT characters! It has found family plots! It has scary bad guys that just need a hug! It has magical girl transformations! Literally anything you could want is in this comic. Including emotional wrecking angst! Did I mention FEELINGS???

(I couldn’t pick a single page so here are 3 random ones without context. Seriously almost EVERY page is so good I struggled very hard to choose)

-

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5: The Property of Hate by @modmad

Hey. Do you like fantasy worlds made of imagination? How about protagonists with grey morality who act like super primand proper gentlemen when they’re actually huge nerds? How about reluctant “Well I guess I’ve ADOPTED you now you annoying gremlin” adult-kid relationships? How about puns? How about abstract and colourfull character designs? Or saving the world?

The Property of Hate is Modmad’s original comic that they’ve been working on a few years now. it follows our lead character, RGB or “Problematic Mary Poppins” as I like to think of him, as he asks a young child if she’d like to be a hero and help him save his world? When she agrees, he takes her to a fantasy land... completely NOT preparing her for what she’s signed up for. The story then follows the duo through the abstract and shifting world as RGB slowly divulges information on what exactly our Hero has to do to save the world. It turns out it’s a lot more complicated and messy than merely “beat the bad guy” or anything like that.

Not to mention it seems this fantasy world has its own rules of reality and dangers. Emotions and abstract thoughts have real physical form here, and something like an “idea” can quite literally run around and create havoc, while something like dreams can fuel or destroy, and emotions like grief can cause irreparable damage.

Our Hero also learns RGB himself is a lot more complex and messy than he first appears. Seeming to be a good person trying to do good things (despite being a little stand offish and rude at times) but seems to also be carrying a past and the weight of having done some very very bad things “for the greater good”. And our Hero, as well as we, the readers, start wondering how much we should trust him, even though, just like our Hero, deep deep down we just know we WANT to trust him. And maybe he needs saving just as much as the world itself does. Even when he’s at his scariest and... not quite himself.

The Property of Hate is also available online completely for free. Modmad does have books for sale but I believe it’s on-demand or something along those lines. Please feel free to message them here on tumblr and they are happy to chat to their readers and interact.

http://thepropertyofhate.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1

I think I’ll leave it there despite meaning to do 10 at first because this is already EXTREMELY long.

Hopefully you found something that seems interesting! Let me know if you decide to check any of these out and whether you ended up liking them or not! I’d love to hear your opinions.

And thank you for indulging me <3

(I’m trying to remember to add my ko-fi link to all longer posts like this I make. Especially since I keep forgetting ☕️Buy me a Ko-fi ☕️ )

[krystalreverb]

Something Human (Fic Preview #6)

Meanwhile, Hubert had just gotten the message from the soldier who had been sent to look for him, and sighed as he looked at his limited potion ingredient stock. If they rationed it carefully, he would have enough for all of them, but it was close. He had done some routine background research on the girls when they all joined the Academy, and had found out that Bernadetta suffered from a condition in which scar tissue tended to build up around her ovaries, causing her intense pain for prolonged periods of time while she was menstruating, and therefore would need more of Hubert's potion to counteract the effects of her condition, and Hubert would have to make it strong. And he had no margin for error.  

“Tell the Emperor that if she requires enough potion for everyone, then she'll need to find me more ingredients. Give her this.” Hubert scribbled down the ingredients he needed on a scrap piece of parchment and handed it to the soldier. The soldier snapped into a salute and scurried off with it. 

Edelgard sighed upon opening the note. After torturing the soldiers with work and making them all run laps for about an hour or so, she'd grown bored with tormenting them and decided to relax in the mess hall and await Hubert's return. The girls had followed, if only because they, too, found themselves bored and without anything to do that day. It was Byleth's day off, and they had chosen to stay in today. Something about the Sword of the Creator repairing itself somewhat when Byleth wasn't using it, thus saving them time and money getting it repaired manually. Besides, not many of the Empire’s blacksmiths could manually repair a divine sword. The ones that could always cost more, and Hubert (who was in charge of financing the whole thing) had given Byleth a bit of a tongue lashing about wasting the Empire’s funds and maybe if Byleth would just learn some bloody magic they wouldn’t have to use that blasted sword anyway.  “Hubert says he'll have enough for all of us, but only barely, and only for today. He needs more ingredients to make enough to last all week.” 

“I shall be finding the ingredients for Hubert.” Petra piped up. She took the note from Edelgard and hurried off in search of the ingredients. She would check the marketplace first. There was a woman there who showed up every once in a while that had very special and interesting items for sale on her person at any given time. Anna, her name was? Perhaps Anna would have the ingredients. 

“At least he has enough for all of us today.” Edelgard said. “I didn't realize Hubert's stocks were getting so low. Apparently Hubert didn't realize it either. It's his job to keep track of his own hobbies. I am certainly not doing it for him.” 

Bernadetta whimpered softly and curled up on the bench, her head in her knees, holding her stomach in pain. Edelgard put an arm around her and rubbed her back soothingly. “I know, Bernie. I know. Hubert will be back soon.”

“Oh, no... don't worry about me, Edelgard, I'll be fine....” Bernadetta whimpered unconvincingly. “I've had worse than this...”

“Bernadetta, you can hardly move.” Edelgard said. “You can't fight in the condition that you're in, and I'm going to need you in the upcoming battles. What do you usually do when the pain gets this bad?” She asked, helping Bernadetta lay down on the bench. 

“Ahh...” Bernadetta whimpered. “I usually just lay down and hope for the best... there's really nothing else I can do, right? I can't make it go away.” 

“Bernadetta, I promise that Hubert is not going to bite you or hurt you or react negatively in any way if you ask him to brew you potions for this. I know he makes you nervous, but he's really a big sweetheart. All you have to do is say, 'Hubert, I need some more of that potion you make for cramps' and I guarantee he will make it for you.” Edelgard explained. “After all, he doesn’t want to face my wrath if I ever were to find out he wouldn’t.” 

“I-I know, but... isn't it kind of icky to tell boys when you're on your period?” Bernadetta said. “I mean, I know it's not quite proper. Boys don't have to know all that stuff.” 

Edelgard chuckled. “Hubert doesn't mind. Believe me, I apparently bled all over his trousers last night and he didn’t seem to care much this morning. It's not like he's going to think of you any differently because you're menstruating. If anything it means he'll be nicer to you. He might even offer to carry your weapons or escort you to the infirmary.” 

“I... I know. I know I have a lot of issues, okay? Having a crazy, abusive father kind of does that to you.” She sighed. “I'm really trying to get over them. I come out for breakfast every day now, have you noticed? And I haven't missed a training session in two whole weeks!”

“I have noticed, yes, and I'm very proud of you. You're doing really well.” Edelgard praised her, letting her lay her head in Edelgard's lap where she could rest a little easier. Edelgard stroked Bernadetta's hair soothingly. “It's gonna be okay, Bernie. Don't you worry. Hubert will help us. If I will it, he will make it happen.” 

Petra delivered the ingredients she'd gathered to Hubert. It had taken her roughly two hours to find everything, having to go both to the marketplace and the greenhouse to find everything on the list. Luckily the marketplace had most of it, that lovely Anna woman having most of it for sale, and at a bargain, too!  “Hubert! I am finding all of the items you are needing.” She put them on the ground next to him.

Hubert picked up each jar and pouch and inspected the contents, looking impressed as he nodded at them. He held one jar up to his eyes for inspection, turning it in his hand so he could see the contents at all angles. He regarded Petra with a cool eye. “Excellent, this was exactly what I was looking for. And they're quite good quality, too. I don't know where you managed to get all this in this season, but you simply must introduce me to your potions stock dealer. With this I'll be able to make a brew strong enough to relieve even Bernadetta.” 

“You are knowing about Bernadetta?” Petra asked. “About her condition?” 

“Of course I do.” Hubert said, sitting down to brew. “I did a very thorough background check on all of you when I got the class list for the Black Eagles back in the Academy. Everything from family history to medical history, to specific likes and dislikes to your very food preferences. It's my job, Petra. I do feel bad for Bernadetta, really, I do. Having to menstruate already isn't fair to a woman, it's even more unfair that Bernadetta deals with this sort of suffering. It's akin to torture, and anything I can do to help, I will. I'm just glad it's not happening to me. How on earth do you women live with it?” Hubert said. He sighed and looked at Petra with a surprisingly soft expression. He looked vulnerable in that moment, his eyes holding a warmth and a certain glimmer they usually did not hold. He looked a little pained, as if her eyes were peeling away his very outer skin to reveal something less sinister and more nurturing beneath. His hands actually trembled somewhat as he spoke, as if what he was saying made him crawl in his skin somewhat. 

“You know, I may put up an air of you all being useful to the Empire, and all that, but the truth is, you are my ...f-friends and I do actually, genuinely... c-care about you all. I always did, I'm just not good at...people-ing.” Hubert admitted quietly and rather awkwardly. “I never was. You can blame my bastard of a father for that.” 

He cast his eyes away, and Petra had never before and would never again see such a look of vulnerability in those golden, glittering eyes. “Why do you think I even bothered to try learning white magic? T'wasn't the Professor's will, I'll have you know. I'd like to keep you all around if I can help it. I've grown used to your antics, your dynamic. It's one I can't fathom living without anymore. If we were to lose one of us on the battlefield... Perhaps it's newfound love talking, or perhaps it's simply a dreamer's wish, but I know things would never be quite the same.” Hubert looked down and busied himself in his work. Petra decided to stay behind and watch him. Petra didn't have much of a magical potential herself, but the rituals and languages surrounding magic had always fascinated her. Hubert regarded her with a cool eye for a moment, just long enough to ascertain that she seemed to not be going anywhere, so he simply looked back down and continued to work, accepting that she seemed to be staying. 

Hubert stirred his potion and muttered incantations over it, watching it bubble and boil and shine. It had turned the color of sewer sludge, and smelled....interesting. Petra couldn't quite tell if it was a good smell or a bad smell, but it was certainly a distinct smell. It smelled strongly of vinegar, or perhaps sour milk, perhaps curdled cheese mixed with asbestos. It seemed to keep changing, bubbling away inside the cauldron, the smell becoming more and more rank as it brewed. Petra ultimately decided she wasn't a fan of how it smelled, nor how it looked. When the potion was finished, he poured some of the potion into a vial and held it out.

“Here, drink this. Tell me if you feel any better.” 

Petra made a face at it and did not move to take it, and Hubert wiggled the vial with his hand slightly, urging her to take it from him and drink it. Petra took the vial tentatively, put it to her lips and made a face at the taste as it slid down her throat with an audible gulp. She made a rather amusing and audible sound of distaste, but almost immediately the pain began to ease, and the tight, bloated feeling in her lower gut began to go away. She was able to better sit up straight without discomfort, and the tenderness and raw feeling inside her lightened. She breathed a sigh of relief. “It is tasting like sewage, but it feels very much better. It is working, Hubert.”

[mercurygray]

So, I hear you liked TURN.

Apres the Season 4 finale, I know there’s going to be a lot of crying, and hand-wringing, and rewatching, and these are all good and proper things to do in the wake of a TV show you’ve enjoyed.

But after the smoke clears from all of that, you’re maybe going to go looking for your next 18th century fix, just something in between rewatches or while you’re trying to flesh out your next story idea. (Hey, now that we have our canon, go hog-wild on story ideas, guys, seriously.) 

So I’ve saved you some trouble and made you all a helpful list.

Obviously there are a lot of movies and TV shows out there - this is just a selection that I wish more people knew about.

Note: Everyone enjoys a show or movie for different reasons. These shows are on this list because of the time period they depict, not because of the quality of their writing, the accuracy of their history or the political nature of their content. Where I’m able to, I’ve mentioned if a book is available if you’d like to read more.

Before we get to the rest of the list, there are three excellent shows that are either currently on television or about to be very soon:

Poldark (BBC/PBS) is based on a series of books by an author named Winston Graham. It was made into a PBS series in the 70s starring Robin Ellis as the handsome Captain Poldark, who returns from the American Revolution to find his family farm in tatters and his long-time love interest married to his cousin. Drama ensues. The 70s series is worth your time, and the recent remake with Aidan Turner in the title role is also definitely worth a go. (If you like leading men who make terrible life decisions and the women who put up with them, this is totally your show.)

Harlots (Hulu) - If you really loved the TURN ladies, thought Lola and Philomena deserved more than they got, or are just interested to learn more about what life might have been like for the lower classes in London in the 1750s, have we got a deal for you. Harlots follows the lives of 18th century sex workers in this new drama, which was just recently renewed for a totally deserved second season. Female-lead ensemble drama. A little violent at points and deals with some pretty heavy-duty topics like rape, murder, and bastardy, but in a humane and understanding way. Totally bingeable.

Outlander (Starz) - Based on the wildly popular series of books by Diana Gabaldon, this time traveling drama jumps between a couple of different centuries and follows the story of Jamie and Claire, two very strong personalities trying to literally find their place in history. (Hewlett talks about the blade his grandfather picked up at Culloden; that battle forms a critical part of this show’s storyline.) It’s a real pretty show with very high production values.

And, without further ado, the rest of the list!

John Adams:  If you haven’t watched this already, do yourself a favor and go pick it up from the library. Starring Paul Giametti in the title role, this HBO miniseries follows John Adams’ role in the formation of America, through his early days in Congress up through his own presidency. As with any biographical show, characters that we know and love from other media (Rufus Sewell’s Hamilton comes to mind, but see what you think of David Morse’s Washington, too) are presented in a slightly different light and provide some food for thought about how history can be selective in how it remembers us. The costuming is great, the sets are fantastic, and the acting is first-rate.

The Patriot: An oldie but a goodie. Mel Gibson plays a highly fictionalized version of Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox while Jason Isaacs turns in a really stellar hottie we love to hate in Colonel Tavington. A little heavy-handed at times, this is a good movie to laugh over with friends.

Sons of Liberty: I’ll be really honest - for a show from the History Channel, the history on this show is pretty awful. But the cast is pretty. This one’s up to you, really. It fills a hole.

Garrow’s Law: William Garrow was a barrister and a pioneering legal mind in the 18th century, and this show (which ran for 3 seasons) is based on real Old Bailey cases and Garrow’s defenses, while also working in his fraught social life. Were you interested in learning a little more about Abe Woodhull’s erstwhile legal training? This is the show for you.

City of Vice: A miniseries that explains the origins and work of the Bow Street Runners, one of London’s first police forces.  Does a great job of opening up some of the early 18th century underside of London including a smidge of 18th century gay culture.

A Harlot’s Progress: William Hogarth was an 18th century artist, printmaker and social commentator whose “A Harlot’s Progress” famously depicts the downfall of a woman who goes into prostitution. This 2006 series explores the relationship that inspired the ‘Harlot’ piece.

The Incredible Journey of Mary Bryant: At around the same time America was busy trying to figure itself out, halfway around the world another one of Britain’s colonial possessions - Australia - was just getting started. Hundreds of convicts found themselves stuffed in ships and sent to the other side of the world - a sentence deemed almost more humane. This 2005 series with Romala Garai follows a very famous convict, Mary Bryant, and her experiences.

Banished: Another take on penal colonies in Australia. Currently available on Hulu.

Black Sails: A more recent offering from Starz, this show explores the backstory of the pirates in Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island. Lots of great representation issues, a whole lot of ‘how does your story get told’ - and there’s a real big community on Tumblr who loves it and very actively produces all kinds of fic.

Clarissa - Simcoe fans, this one is totally for you. Based on the epistolary novel by Samuel Richardson, Clarissa follows a girl of the same name as the infamous rake Lovelace tries to seduce her. Another look at what how women can be corrupted. Also, for you fandom nerds in the crowd, Lovelace was one of the first characters to inspire fix-it fic. Yes, really! Fix-it fic in the late 1700s. Lovelace is one of the original men for whom the ‘No, really, I can reform him’ trope was created. (Richardson, his creator, was so horrified by this reaction by his fans that he actually revised the book several times to try and make Lovelace even more villainous and irredeemable, with little success. Then as now, women apparently love the idea of a bad boy.)

Amazing Grace - The history of slavery in England and its colonies is complicated and nuanced; this story deals with one of the more famous names from that story, William Wilberforce, and his contribution.

Belle - Based on the true story of Dido Elizabeth Belle, the mixed race daughter of a Royal Navy Admiral. Another look at racial politics in England.

The Aristocrats - One of my all-time favorite TV miniseries and based on the nonfiction book by Stella Tilyard, this show follows the (actual, nonfictional) Lennox sisters, daughters of the Duke of Richmond as they grow up, marry, and adjust to rapid social change from the early 1700s into the 1790s.

The Duchess  - About the same time the Lennox sisters were out in society, so was Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire. This is based on (I’m not sure how closely) Amanda Foreman’s biography of Georgiana, one of the leading ladies of her day.

Dangerous Liasons - Another story about corruptible young women, this one has 3 very well deserved Oscars to its name and an absolutely stunning Glenn Close.

Barry Lyndon - a very evocative, sumptuous film by Stanley Kubrick. Short on action, but very, very Aesthetic, as only Kubrick can do.

The Scarlet Pimpernel - Based on the book by Baroness Orczy, The Scarlet Pimpernel is largely considered to be one of the world’s first ‘superhero with a secret identity’ stories. Sir Percy Blakeney uses his identity as a dim-witted fop to provide cover for his activities rescuing French aristocrats from the guillotine during the French Revolution. The 1982 version with Anthony Andrews and the 1999 version with Richard Grant are both a lot of fun.

Speaking of the French, where would we be without them? Our small domestic dust-up with Britain has far-reaching international consequences, setting in motion so many other social movements in Europe. The French, for instance, will have their own revolution several years after ours, which, of course, will lead to a total political shakeup ending with an artillery officer named Napoleon Bonaparte on the throne as Emperor. (You may have heard of him. He goes on to have his own series of large wars and, you know, completely changes the geo-political landscape of Europe. Like you do.)

La Revolution Francaise, filmed for the 200th anniversary of the Revolution, is available on YouTube in it’s entirety with English subtitles! Starts in 1774 and goes through the 1800s. C’est merveilleux.

Marie Antoinette - Sofia Coppola’s wild, modern romp through the life of one of the 18th century’s most notorious women. It may not be great history, but darn me if it isn’t fun to watch.

Farewell, My Queen - Another story about Marie Antoinette - this one is in French.

Nicolas Le Floch: An 18th century crime procedural set at the court of Louis XVI. The whole show is in French, so watch with subtitles, but the costumes are a lot of fun and it gives an interesting picture of the life a character like Lafayette would have left behind when he came to America. (He gets name dropped a few times, actually, though he never actually appears.)

Ekaterina: A 2014 miniseries from Russia discussing the rise of Catherine the Great, the Empress of Russia from 1762 to 1796, contemporaneous to the Revolution. The 18th century is a fascinating time in Russian history and Catherine is a really, really interesting lady. Totally go and read about her.

Anno 1790: A Swedish crime procedural set in 1790s Sweden and following Johann Däadh, a doctor recently roped into the police force. Däadh is a bit of a reformer, interested in the rights of man and giving everyone a chance to be heard. Costumes are fun, and there’s a really great slow-burn romance between two of the characters, one of whom is (gasp) married. This show only ran for one season, but it was a really, really good season.

If you’re still jonesing for period dramas after the rest of this list, here’s a lot of shows and tv series set during the Napoleonic Wars that are also totally worth your time - the Richard Sharpe miniseries, the Horatio Hornblower miniseries, the BBC’s War and Peace, Master and Commander, and then, of course, anything based on a Jane Austen novel.

Have fun!

[stacks-reviews]

New Releases 11/14/17

‘Happy New Release Day! Today brings a few new manga and a graphic novel, along with a couple of new shows/movies, and even a new video game from Nintendo.

In Books  --Fairy Tail Volume 62 by Hiro Mashima “During the chaos of war,the demon Acnologia slinks his way into the ranks. As Erza, Wendy, and Gajeel prepare to face their hardest battle yet, a strange woman shows up to lift their spirits! The woman knows the secret to sealing Acnologia away, but will the gang be able to execute her orders! Meanwhile, brothers Natsu and Zeref go head-to-head, with their lives on the line! The fate of the world sinks further into peril when Zeref reveals his ultimate mission: Neo Eclipse!”

I can’t believe this series is almost over (at least in the US). Just one more volume remains. I think I’m going to wait to pick this one up until volume 63 comes out so I can get them together. The last volume I read was somewhere in the early 50′s, I think. I started rereading the series but paused midway through volume 8 and will continue from there once the last volume is released.

--Forbidden Scrollery Volume 1 by Moe Harukawa “Where else would a girl with the power to translate any tome she sets in her lap reside except a library? Sure, some books may be more dangerous than others, but that's far from discouragement for a true bibliophile like Kosuzu Motoori!”

Books that are dangerous. That may or may not magical in some form. With artwork that reminds me of Cardcator Sakura. Sign me up. I really would like to try this series cause as I’ve mentioned before I’m a sucker for books that have books being a form of power in worlds. I did flip through some of this volume when it arrived early at my work. And it looks promising.

--Frau Faust Volume 2 by Kore Yamazaki “After narrowly escaping a battle with Lorenzo, Johanna falls unconscious. In her wounded state, the century-old memories of her first encounter with Mephistopheles run through her head. In these memories are answers Marion is beginning to understand: what is the nature of his master’s immortality, and how is her curse inextricably tied to the body of her demon? Faust, Marion, and Nico’s immediate aim is to find Mephisto’s right leg, a mission that becomes more urgent when evidence of a young girl using demonic power comes to light. To find the next piece of her precious demon, Johanna may even need to form a tenuous deal with Lorenzo...”

From the creator of The Ancient Magus’ Bride comes Frau Faust. I enjoyed the first volume of this series which included a cute short about a museum that houses invisible exhibits. I would like to see Yamazaki explore that short more in the future. The first volume follows Johanna as she tries to find the missing pieces of the demon Mephisto held captive by the church. Along the way she gains an apprentice named Marion and they meet up with Nico, Johanna’s daughter.

My favorite part of volume 2 was learning about how Johanna meet Mephisto.

--Rose Volume 1 by Meredith Finch, illustrated by Ig Guara “A classic fantasy tale about a girl trying to restore balance to a broken world. Rose must connect with her Khat—Thorne—to become the Guardian the world needs. But things aren’t easy for Rose and Thorne, the powerful sorcerous Drucilla has many powerful and demonic allies—all of them focused on stopping one scared little girl who’s desperately trying to stay alive and do what’s right.”

I have been waiting on this one since I first saw the cover to issue one earlier this year. A warrior-girl with her giant black panther companion. It was a good start to the series though the volume felt a bit rushed. A few of the pages cut off part of some sentences near the end of the volume. I am looking forward to volume 2 and hope that the pacing might find a better flow. I think it’s worth checking out.

In Movies/TV Shows --91 Days “Prohibition—a lawless era where bootleggers prosper and mobsters prowl. Avilio Bruno has grown up alone in this murky world after the Vanetti's murdered his family. One day, he receives a letter that holds the key to revenge. Befriending the don's son, Nero, Avilio works his way through the Vanetti family and sets his vengeance in motion.”

I haven’t had time to try this one out yet but I really want to. There is a standard and an LE edition. The LE has an art box and comes with a 40 page companion guide that has, “artwork, character profiles, background information on Prohibition, the Chicago mafia, period firearms, and more.” And a set of six art cards.

--Atomic Blonde “An undercover MI6 agent is sent to Berlin during the Cold War to investigate the murder of a fellow agent and recover a missing list of double agents.”

I was really excited to see this one because of how they treated the main character. They made her fight how a woman would actually need to fight. And they made it also realistic by how bruised and cut up she was after all this was over. When she got punched in the face that bruise would stay there. Some of those fights were painful to watch just of the pain you see was being done to her. The fight scenes in this movie were just fantastic. But the plot was a little convoluted. Maybe it will make more sense during a second watch. Either way it was an enjoyable movie to watch. 

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/atomic-blonde-doesnt-pretend-women-fight-like-men-and-the-result-is-awesome_us_597b3c67e4b02a8434b5df58

--Blue Exorcist Kyoto Saga Set 1 “Born the spawn of Satan, Rin Okumura decides to hide his origins, and become an exorcist. He enrolls at the Exorcism Cram School, a training institute for exorcists located on the True Cross Academy grounds. But, his cover is blown during an attack by Amaimon, the King of Earth, and he is revealed to be the son of Satan. Terrified of Satan’s blue flames, his friends start to distance themselves from Rin…It is then that someone steals the Left Eye of the Impure King, sealed away in the deepest part of the academy, and Rin and the others find themselves embroiled in an unexpected crisis.”

The newest season of Blue Exorcist is starting to release. It was a pretty good season. And now I’m trying to remember if I finished it or not. I feel like I did but now I can’t remember.... Anyway. This is an Aniplex title so it is going to be a bit higher. There is a DVD edition and a Blu-Ray. They contain episodes 1-6 of this season. But if you buy the Blu-Ray it also comes with a booklet and some postcards.

--Doctor Who Complete Series 10 The final season of Peter Capaldi as 12 and with Steven Moffat as executive producer is now out as a complete set. Pearl Mackie was great as Bill Potts though sometimes I can’t help but feel like they could have done more with her character. Once I see the season again I might change my mind but for now that thought occasionally pops up. 

My favorite episodes of this season are “Smile”, “Thin Ice” if only to watch the Doctor punch that guy over and over, “Empress of Mars”, and the two-part season finale.

--In This Corner Of the World “Based on the award-winning manga by Fumiyo Kouno, In This Corner Of the World tells the emotional story of Suzu, a young girl from Hiroshima, who’s just become a bride in the nearby city of Kure during World War II. Living with her husband’s family, Suzu has to adjust to her new life, which is made especially difficult by regular air raids. But life must go on, and Suzu - through the help of her new family and neighbors - begins to discover the joys of everyday life in Kure. Much is gained in Kure, but with war, many things cherished are also lost.”

This just looks fantastic. I’m really excited to see this one.

--Pokemon Indigo League S1 The original that started it all is out on blu-ray for what should be the first time. I love the Indigo League. It’s where I started with Pokemon. And it has some the saddest episodes I’ve seen from the series. At least up until the point where I stopped watching. I tried to pick it back up during the last season and the new Sun and Moon seasons but it has been sporadic. 

This set has the first 52 episodes of the series. It also comes with a 64 page manga sampler, a recipe card, the complete Pokerap, and a “Who’s That Pokemon” gallery. I feel like they could have done more for this release as the extras just feel like a pull for you to start buying the manga and one of their Pokemon cookbooks.

I really hope they kept the other songs in at the end of episodes instead of just the Pokerap. I love the Pokerap but I also love the other songs. Yeah, I have them on one of the soundtracks but I’d still like to see them at the end of the episodes. 

The box itself is really cool. It is designed to look like the original Pokedex.

--Preacher S2  “Jesse, Tulip and Cassidy hit the road in search of God, and quickly realize they're being stalked by a killer cowboy from Hell.”

I wasn’t as crazy about this season as I was the first. I’ve been that way with a lot of series this year. It is still a good series and had a great start to the season. And ended with a great cliffhanger.

In Video Games --RiME (Nintendo Switch version) “In RiME, you play as a young boy who has awakened on a mysterious island after a torrential storm. You see wild animals, long-forgotten ruins and a massive tower that beckons you to come closer. Armed with your wits and a will to overcome—and the guidance of a helpful fox—you must explore the enigmatic island, reach the tower's peak, and unlock its closely guarded secrets.”

I’ve been really excited for this game for a while. But I am conflicted. It is half price if I get it on my PS4 but I was really hoping to get it for my Switch. Visually it looks gorgeous and the OST is supposed to be really good. But I have heard that the puzzles aren’t very challenging. I still want to try it out. Now I just need to decide what console I want it for.

[kuciradio]

Personal Pitch’s Top Albums of 2017

By Stephan Masnyj

As a DJ at a radio station and a self-professed lover of music, discovering new music is a necessary part of my daily routine. I couldn’t even begin to tell you the countless hours that have been spent scouring the internet for new music to listen to, or the innumerable amount of drives to work that have been spent intently listening to a new record front to back. Throughout this year there were a startling number of albums that stood out. In what is always a welcome challenge, I’ve narrowed down my list to ten albums that I’ve found to be the most essential, or the ones that have simply affected me the most on an either emotional or artistic level. Here they are, fitted with my own, relatively young-aged ramblings.

10. Father John Misty: Pure Comedy

When Father John Misty garnered widespread critical and commercial acclaim for his previous record, “I Love You, Honeybear,” nearly every mention of the record involved the searing sarcasm in Tillman’s writing throughout. It was simply impossible to ignore; the record was a brilliant, simultaneous embrace and takedown of the very foundations and flaws of love that we’ve come to know in society — all delivered through the lens of his own personal experiences with his wife. In contrast, “Pure Comedy” feels decidedly different in tone. Tillman’s voice, both in physical strength and as a writer, are the same, yet these songs profess an earnestness and straight-faced delivery that hasn’t been seen on previous records. However, this newfound approach doesn’t sacrifice anything in the way of songwriting quality; Pure Comedy is filled with beautiful orchestral arrangements and searing commentary on the foundations of society that humanity exists upon. “I hate to say it, but each other’s all we got” Tillman murmurs towards the end of the title track. In Tillman’s eyes, humanity’s problems aren’t a laughing matter anymore.

9. Sampha: Process

For years, Sampha was the Stanley Tucci of R&B. That isn’t meant to be a negative comment — it’s actually a compliment in some sense. He was always a scene stealer in his features, with his unique voice conveying a loneliness and hurt that a singer like Drake could only dream of. So it was refreshing to finally see Sampha come into his own this year with his debut record, “Process.” The record could have easily leaned on his gorgeous voice and kept it simple in it’s arrangements, but the album is littered with inventive samples (Under), looping synths (Reverse Faults), and dynamic percussion (Kora Sings, Blood on Me). The final song, “What Shouldn’t I Be?” is a meditation on how long it took for him to reach this point. While Sampha asks himself the question multiple times throughout the track, the answer to the question is clear; nothing.

8. Broken Social Scene: Hug of Thunder

There was a period of time where people thought that a new Broken Social Scene record wouldn’t happen. Feist had gone on to sell thousands of records on her own, Kevin Drew had made a solo record and began producing other people’s records, and the rest of the group had largely settled into their own projects. So when “Hug of Thunder” was announced, there was a mix of relief and trepidation; could BSS produce another record that stood with their previous efforts? The answer was a resounding yes; Broken Social Scene continue to do what they do best and produce thrilling, shout-along anthems that could only be fully fleshed out by a 16-person (!!!) band. The lyrics are often inscrutable or inconsequential, but who cares? When these songs are blasting through your car speakers as you speed down the highway, they sound like the only thing that matters.

7. King Krule: The Ooz

In the lead up to King Krule’s debut record, “6 Feet Beneath the Moon,” his website was adorned with city camera of London late at night. Through the eerie black and white lens, the city felt seedy and dangerous; as if a monster was lurking just beneath the camera’s line of sight. This uneasy, dark world is where Archy Marshall takes us throughout his second album. More than any other record I listened to in 2017, it felt like entering an entirely different universe. The 19 songs function more as mood pieces rather than any identifiable radio single. The instrumentation adopts a mix of hip hop beats that sound as if they’ve been submerged underwater, cocktail jazz saxophone, and discordant guitars that sound purposefully out of tune. In the center of it all is Marshall’s distinct voice; a baritone that can be seductive one minute and downright primal the next. The record’s emotional core is the turmoil Marshall felt in the previous 4 years, through an ill fated relationship and the mental burden of following up a stellar debut. It’s a visceral, uncomfortable listen. But to paraphrase Archy himself, it’s fascinating to hear this young man describe his emotional state as he slips into filth, lonely but surrounded.

6. Tyler, the Creator: Flower Boy

Whenever Tyler, the Creator would release a record following his breakthrough “Goblin” in 2011, the question always remained the same: When will he finally grow up? His talent was always palpable, the dizzying raps in “Yonkers” and the emotional story in “48” showed his talents as a writer, and his growing production credits on “Wolf” and “Cherry Bomb” showed that he had a distinct style within his musical repertoire. Yet he always fell back on his worst tendencies; frequently using homophobic slurs or creating worthless posse cuts that did nothing but ruin the flow of his records. All of that changed with “Flower Boy,” easily his most cohesive and mature record to date. Much has been said about his alleged coming out in the record (a subject that Tyler has remained mum on since the album’s release), but it isn’t stated enough just how wonderful this record sounds. The strings and horns that dot highlight “See You Again” are stunning, and the queasy synths that Tyler has used in the past take on a new urgency on “I Ain’t Got Time.” Every single rap, beat, and instrument inform each other throughout the record, and not a single thing sounds out of place throughout. “Tell these black kids they can be who they are,” raps Tyler on the highlight “Where the Flower Blooms.” For the first time in his career, Tyler sounds like he’s living those words to the fullest.

5. (Sandy) Alex G: Rocket

More than any other record this year, I think I experienced the most joy and wonder by repeatedly listening to Alex G’s “Rocket.” The songs, while simple, sound absolutely timeless to me. “Proud” sounds like a drive out on the open countryside. “Big Fish” sounds like a quiet confession of strength to a father. “Powerful Man” sounds like a tearjerking show of emotional maturity to a skeptical family. While Alex has always been lauded for his songwriting chops (even earning a Frank Ocean co-write in the process), this is the first record that feels like it has emotional heft to it. It doesn’t hurt that stylistically it’s his most diverse; the songs move from string-fueled country (Bobby) to cocktail jazz (County) and brutal hardcore (Brick) all in the span of ten minutes. It’s a jarring and exhilarating listen, and the sound of a young songwriter stretching his limits and realizing that he has none.

4. Lorde: Melodrama

It’s often said your teenage years are some of the most formative you’ll experience in your life. It’s the period of time where nothing quite makes sense; you begin to find your own personal identity while fumbling through school, relationships, and friendships. Throughout it all drugs and alcohol are likely introduced for the first time, leading to nights to remember and often nights you wished never happened. This tenuous time period is the playground for Lorde’s “Melodrama,” an absolute stunner of a pop album in both composition and execution. The main narrative surrounding Lorde’s rise to prominence has been her authority for her age (as of now, she is 21), and that has never been more apparent than her clear-eyed analysis of teenage years on this record. “Homemade Dynamite” dissects the social dynamics and self destructive tendencies people often have during a party with surgical precision, while “Supercut” takes a relationship in retrospect and understand that memories of a lost lover usually have a rose-colored tint to them. The most stunning cut on the record is “Writer in the Dark,” a song that embodies the hate, regret, and mourning that often comes directly after the end of the relationship. The way Lorde is able to thread the needle between all the separate emotions throughout the verses and chorus is nothing short of stunning, and her vocal delivery delivers an emotional depth Adele would kill to have. With “Melodrama,” Lorde asserts herself at the top of pop’s ever-changing landscape, and I can’t think of a more exciting, capable person to be at the top of it right now.

3. Kendrick Lamar: DAMN.

Did any other record this year dominate quite like DAMN.? It felt absolutely inescapable. “Humble” dominated the radio airwaves, “DNA” dominated any sports highlight reel, and “Loyalty” felt like it blasted out of every car speaker this summer. From my perspective, it’s weird to think of Kendrick at the top of the pop charts; I always saw him as a supremely talented artist who’s ambitions ran deeper than pop radio. However, it turns out Kendrick can release pop hits while still maintaining the endless depth his raps often do. “Humble” is both a boast and a self-aggrandizement in the form of a three minute pop song. “DNA” is a firestorm of a rap that examines the good, bad, and ugly that exist within all of us. Elsewhere, “Pride” is a dreamy meditation on how our stubbornness can get the best of us. The human condition is at the center of all of the songs on DAMN., and Kendrick analyzes every component with an almost incomprehensible talent. In a surprising turn of events, by becoming larger than life, Kendrick Lamar feels more human than ever.

2. The National: Sleep Well Beast

I can’t think of a band that embodies the low, sinking feeling of sadness quite like The National. It’s embedded so deep within their DNA that it’s almost impossible to shake. Not to say that this is a bad thing; The National have consistently produced some of the most emotionally affecting records of my lifetime. Yet there was a question of whether their formula would eventually run stale after their previous record, “Trouble Will Find Me.” However, “Sleep Well Beast” has the band at the absolute top of their game both lyrically and instrumentally. Simply put, the band hasn’t sounded this energized in years. More than any other record in their discography, Sleep Well Beast hews closest to their under the radar masterpiece, Boxer, in both consistency and quality. Boxer’s most alluring trait was the ability to capture the low buzzing anxiety and depression that takes hold once people realize how their adult lives are beginning to take shape in themselves and everyone around them. There’s a thread of insularity that connects Sleep Well Beast to the 2007 record; a sense of internal acceptance that the feelings of discomfort expressed ten years ago don’t really go away, but rather evolve and manifest themselves in different ways as we age. “I’ll still destroy you someday/Sleep well beast, you as well beast” are the last words Berninger intones on the record. While it may be easy to write the comment off as a signal of resignation, in context it feels like a quiet, confident victory. We’d be remiss to think of the album as anything different.

1. LCD Soundsystem: American Dream

The notion of the “American Dream” is a loaded concept. What does it mean? Is it the same thing for everyone? Is it possible to achieve it? James Murphy’s latest masterpiece answers all and none of these questions, at least not directly. If anything, the record talks about something that we all do nearly everyday of our lives; sleep. Sleep exists everywhere on this record, and within different forms. It’s presented in the form of bad dreams (Oh Baby), a product of crippling anxiety (I Used To, Change Yr Mind), death (Black Screen), and even it’s very existence taken as an offense (How Do You Sleep?). I would imagine sleep would not be at the center of many people’s American dream, but maybe that’s the key conceit in Murphy’s theme here. We all want the success that we crave in our wildest dreams, the ability to conquer our fears, and to reach the highest peaks of our respective careers. But what we don’t realize is what it often takes for us to get there. The crippling anxiety that’s littered throughout the process. The sleepless nights. The dissolved friendships that initially seemed unbreakable. The hangovers. The deaths of loved ones. Murphy for all intensive purposes may have achieved his dreams. He’s had a #1 album, sold out Madison Square Garden, and has been a critical darling and cultural tastemaker for the better part of the last 15 years. But he knows more than anyone all the baggage that comes with it, and it’s all presented here in a gloriously funny, heartbreaking, stunning record. There was a long period of time where I never thought I’d here another new LCD Soundsystem album. Turns out dreams really do come true.

Personal Pitch is on every Thursday from 12-2pm on kuci.org and 88.9FM in Irvine, CA

[sincerepositivethings]

Issue 25 - Adam’s Best of 2019

Subscribe to Sincere, Positive Things here!

Last week I dubbed my dear friend Adam Maid "The King of Media." This is because nobody is more up to date on movies, books, music and TV than him. However, merely consuming all of that does not media royalty make. Thankfully, in addition to his vast audio/visual/textual diet, Adam also has impeccable taste. It only made sense to commission a top of 2019 list from him and share it with the world. Enjoy!

Hey, you know what was a pretty good year for pop culture? 2019. It would take forever to really get into everything I loved this year, so I'll try to contain it to just a top 15, so you can head into 2020 with the entertaining distractions you'll most certainly need. 1. Knives and Skin (movie) - A lot of people have been influenced by David Lynch, but few have been able to sublimate that influence into something as wholly new and exciting as Jennifer Reeder did with Knives and Skin. Even though it's set in a small town full of idiosyncratic weirdos (hello Twin Peaks) rocked by the disappearance of a teen girl (see previous parentheses), every scene/character/moment goes off in unexpected, surprising directions that make it one of the most original and daring films I've seen in years. Oh, and it's also sort of a musical? 2. Los Espookys (TV) - There's nothing that can't happen in the world of Los Espookys. A woman trapped in a world of mirrors? Sure. A water spirit obsessed with watching The King's Speech? Why not. Fred Armisen as a legendary parking valet? Yes. The show, co-created by SNL's Julio Torres and mostly set in Spanish, follows a group of friends in an undisclosed Latin American country bound by their love of horror and their business creating elaborate practical effects (you know, normal stuff like fake exorcisms to help the Church and tourist-trap sea monsters). It's delightful. 3. Normal People - Sally Rooney (book) - This is just Sally Rooney's second novel, but she has quickly established herself as one of the best writers of this generation. We see all of her young characters' strengths and weaknesses, how they fumble communication and collide into one another on the way to adulthood, through prose that is alive and absolutely precise. 4. Orville Peck - Pony (music) - So there's this guy. He's a country singer, but also kind of a punk, who wears a mask, has a sort of rockabilly-glam aesthetic, and his name's not really Orville Peck and no one actually knows who he is. It's a fun gimmick, but what keeps it from being style over substance is that the substance is really, really good. Sometimes haunting, sometimes straight-up rock, Pony is an album that will always instantly make you feel like you're on a highway at 4 AM. 5. The Righteous Gemstones (TV) - If Danny McBride and Jody Hill had just opted to make The Righteous Gemstones a straight parody of bloated southern megachurches and the large personalities who run them, it still would've been hilarious. But what they made is something much weirder and darker, with an Elmore Leonard novel's worth of blackmail, double-crossing, and actual intense stakes. It also gave us living legend Walton Goggins performing, and I'm being serious here, the song of the year. 6. Nilüfer Yanya - Miss Universe (music) - I listened to this album more than almost any other this year, and I still can't really decide how to describe it. Even in the course of a song she's able to somehow transition from sounding like late-period Sade to early 2000s indie rock and back again, stopping along the way to pick up and discard jazzy lounge, pop beats, heavy synths, and even spoken word. 7. Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir (book) - You're not going to find a more fun protagonist this year than Gideon Nav, the smartass, sword-wielding filth queen 2019 got but didn't deserve. I love the worldbuilding in this book, full of necromancers, puzzle box rooms, and massive creatures made of reanimated bones. 8. Midsommar (movie) - I saw this movie in theaters three times this year (and two of them were the 3-hour director's cut). I love it. It manages to be a weirdly funny, sun-drenched, folk horror breakup movie that's also about grief and healing, anchored by Florence Pugh giving one of the absolute best performances of the year. 9. Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to A Tribe Called Quest - Hanif Abdurraqib (book) - Nobody writes about music like Hanif Abdurraqib. His latest is part-biography of A Tribe Called Quest, part-autobiography through the lens of their work, part-love letter to a favorite group, part-larger reflection on race, culture, and music's role in helping a person find their place in the world. 10. Angel Olsen - All Mirrors (music) - Angel Olsen has been one of my favorite artists for nearly a decade, but this year/album felt like a leveling up in both her songwriting and aesthetic approach, bringing in a new layer of theatrical, bombastic strings coupled with an almost "Grand Dame of the Opry" stage persona that was thrilling to see evolve in real time. 11. Octet (theater) - Dave Malloy wrote one of the century's best musicals with Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812, so I had to check out his newest work at the Signature Theater here in New York (sorry, out-of-towners) that ran this past spring (sorry, New Yorkers). This piece was an eight-voice a cappella musical all focused around social media and its various detrimental effects, which, nope, I did not find relatable at all and was absolutely NOT devastated, I don't know who you've been talking to, uh uh. Anyway, a cast album is in production, so you're in luck! 12: What We Do in the Shadows (TV) - Was there a narrative need for a spinoff of the 2015 Taika Waititi movie of the same name? No. Did the show's creators find the develop a series that is both fully of that world/its humor and also stands completely on its own? A resounding yes. 13. The Last Black Man in San Francisco (movie) - I haven't stopped thinking about this movie for like six months. It's streaming on Amazon Prime now, so please just go watch it right now. (On the biggest screen you can. The cinematography is beautiful.) 14. Wilder Girls - Rory Power (book) - You simply have to hand it to a YA book with David Cronenberg-levels of body horror. You just do. Wilder Girls is set in an all-girls boarding school on a quarantined island, where everyone who isn't killed by a mysterious plague is left with some kind of physical transformation. But it's really the writing that sets it off: florid without being languid, poetic but also heart-pounding. 15. The National - I Am Easy to Find (music) - Somehow, almost two decades and eight albums in, The National keep finding new directions to push their music, and new ways for their lyrics to run you through with a knife. Yes, I am in my 30s. Ok, I know I said I'd cover my top 15, but there's a lot more I could get into and Ramsey's not here right now, so here's a quick rundown of some other great stuff you maybe haven't seen or have seen covered on other, better lists: Movies: The Farewell, Fast Color, Tigers Are Not Afraid, Parasite, High Flying Bird, Us, Booksmart Books: The Twisted Ones - T. Kingfisher, Orange World - Karen Russell, Fleishman Is in Trouble - Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland - Patrick Radden Keefe, Mostly Dead Things - Kristen Arnett TV: Russian Doll, Succession, Watchmen, Holy Moley, Fleabag, The Boys, Doom Patrol, I Think You Should Leave Music: James Blake - Assume Form, PUP - Morbid Stuff, Better Oblivion Community Center - s/t, Charly Bliss - Young Enough, The New Pornographers - In the Morse Code of Brake Lights, Sharon Van Etten - Remind Me Tomorrow

[johnbazley]

My Favorite Albums of 2018

xxx

Honorable mention: Bruce Springsteen - Springsteen on Broadway

This one is tricky to place on a list; it’s not technically an album, though it’s not technically a film, and since I watched it on Netflix/listened to it on Apple Music, I can’t really call it a show I attended, either. Still, as a long-time Springsteen fan from the suburbs of New Jersey where the Boss cut his teeth, this performance floored me. Essentially a performed, abridged version of his 2017 memoir Born To Run, cut with songs from his fifty-year career, Springsteen on Broadway finds Bruce Springsteen examining the threads of his life, trying to make sense of them, and deconstructing the legendary persona he has spent his career constructing. The result is the reframing of many of his biggest and greatest songs. If you are at all interested in the craft of creative non-fiction or Bruce Springsteen music, Springsteen On Broadway is a must-see.

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30. Pale Waves - My Mind Makes Noises

This album reminds me a lot of The 1975’s first record, which I adore. It’s catchy as hell, and it’s my favorite pure pop record of the year. It’s too long and samey—I skip around a lot when I listen now, and there’s probably a fantastic ten-track album within these fourteen songs—but there are some real hits on here. I spent enough much time on the subway this year trying not to bop my head to “Eighteen” that I’d feel wrong not including it here.

29. J. Cole - KOD

I haven’t loved the past few J Cole albums, but I have fond memories of listening to Sideline Story as I rode around Monmouth County, New Jersey in the passenger seat of my friend Kevin’s car the summer after got his driver’s license. I think of those summer nights whenever J. Cole announces a new album, so I always listen to them, no matter how much I disliked the previous one. KOD surprised me because for the first time since Sideline Story, I felt like I had something to chew on and unpack when I read the record’s lyrics. There’s a statement made here about the consumption of black art by while people, and while it is certainly up for debate how effectively that statement is made—I can’t help but feel like substance users are thrown under the bus at times—I do think Cole has finally released a record with a thesis statement. Hopefully his next one has features!

28. Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs

Admittedly, this album might be much higher if it had released earlier in the year. There is a strong case to be made that Earl Sweatshirt is the greatest rapper alive, and that Some Rap Songs is his best album—I just didn’t spend a whole lot of time with it this year.

Despite that: I love the mixing on this record, how everything sounds obscured, like a recording of a recording. Earl, much like his old Odd Future cohorts Tyler, The Creator and Frank Ocean, has gotten much better at what he does since the collective dissolved a few years ago, and his lyricism is better than ever. There’s a trend toward immediacy in hip-hop at the moment as streaming numbers increasingly play a larger role in the business end of things. Some Rap Songs feels like the only album in the genre released this year that was designed with long-term consumption in mind. I can’t imagine this album will leave my rotation any time soon.

27. Deafheaven - Ordinary Corrupt Human Love

I’ve always been kind of a fair-weather Deafheaven fan. I listen to the new albums when they drop and appreciate them for what they are, but I’m not enough of a metal fan to spend much time with them after that honeymoon period ends. I come back to Sunbather fairly regularly, but mostly because it reminds me of the summer when it gets cold out. 

Ordinary Corrupt Human Love is the first Deafheaven album I’ve fallen for. It’s the first Deafheaven album I recommended to my friends in the group chat who don’t care for metal music at all. Sunbather, and to a lesser extent, New Bermuda showed that there’s plenty of room for experimentation within the black metal genre, but Ordinary Corrupt Human Love blows the whole thing up. I love a subversive record, and while I didn’t spend as much time with this album as I did with other records on this list, I spent a lot of time thinking about it.

26. mewithoutYou - [untitled] LP

All I can say for this record is that it scratched an itch. It’s been a while since I’ve been truly invested in the Will Yip-produced Run For Cover emo scene, but this record reminded me of those heydays with the Citizens and the Balance & Composures and the whathaveyous. I don’t think it’s Yip’s best produced album, and I don’t think it’s mewithoutYou’s best album, but “Julia” worked its way into my head quite often this fall, like an old friend I hadn’t heard from in a few years, coming home to visit.

25. Noname - Room 25

Noname is just so good at this shit. After Acid Rap, I hoped she’d release a mixtape. She did, and Telefone was one of the best albums of that summer--a pivotal summer of my life, the summer we got Blonde, Coloring Book, Puberty 2, and Atrocity Exhibition, no less. Room 25 is even better, and proves that Noname is here to stay.  

I put “Ace” on a playlist called “better by fall” in October. That playlist was full of mellow songs that calmed me down, that also had BPMs high enough to put a spring in my step and get me my out of my apartment when I didn’t feel like leaving my bed. It was my happy place when all of the shit started hitting every fan a few weeks into the fall semester. I think I’ll remember this fall much in the way that I remember the summer Telefone dropped--a lot of darkness, a lot of growth, but mostly a lot of good songs.

24. Basement - Beside Myself

I feel like so few rock bands today are concerned with structure and songwriting like Basement are on Beside Myself. This record reminds me a lot of early 2000s Jimmy Eat World output, which is mostly because of how the guitars sound, but I think that comparison really comes together in the strength of the choruses and the way the songs build and release. Each song is built like a brick house. I’ve always kind of doubted that this band would ever be able to top 2012’s Colourmeinkindness, and while I still prefer that record to this one, this one is a nice addition to a discography that gets better with each new release.

23. Vince Staples - FM!

Something I’ve been thinking about a lot this year is home. I moved from New York City back to New Jersey in large part because I felt like I needed it--2018 was the year that I accepted that this place made me the person I am, and that I should embrace it. I wrote a lot about this state and my community here.

FM! resonated with me because it felt like Vince Staples doing the same. I liked Big Fish Theory, but I didn’t return to it much after release, largely because it found Vince abandoning much of the Long Beach, California-centric lyrical content that made me love Summertime ‘06 so much. I think there’s a potency to an artist writing about the good and bad of their hometown, and I love FM! because Vince does it well, in a stylish wrapping that feels more like a meaningful concept record than Big Fish ever did, despite what critics said about that album.

22. Janelle Monáe - Dirty Computer

I remember walking around Grand Central trying to catch a train the day after Dirty Computer dropped this spring, listening through the album in full for the first time as I raced through corridors and took my seat, and thinking as “Americans” came to a close, “oh, yes, this is the best album of the year.” It just seemed like a fact at that point that no one could possibly top the beauty of Dirty Computer, which consists entirely of very catchy songs that construct a larger statement piece about queerness, blackness, and womanhood. And while it may be true that Dirty Computer is the best album of the year, I have not listened to it in full since, mostly because I got very distracted with schoolwork and other music in the weeks following its release. However, that listening experience was my most memorable of the year, and this is the only record on this list that I’ve only listened to once. I think that counts for a lot.

21. Alkaline Trio - Is This Thing Cursed?

Earlier this year, I drove 20 hours round-trip to Maine and back to visit a friend in Bangor. I spent most of those twenty hours listening to old Alkaline Trio records, as I’ll do from time to time when I feel nostalgic for my middle school years. I think spending so many hours with Good Mourning and From Here To Infirmary this summer prepped me to love Is This Thing Cursed?, which feels like it could have been released right before Crimson. 

If you haven't already been in on Alkaline Trio, Is This Thing Cursed? probably won’t change your mind (though you might like the last record, My Shame Is True, which is more “““mature””” and less spooky, but I digress), but it’s a solid addition to a great discography from a band I’ve loved since Tony Hawk’s Underground came out.

20. Saba - Care For Me

Care For Me is the best rap album that no one talked about this year. The first time I heard “PROM / KING,” I figured Saba would blow up in 2018 the way that Kendrick Lamar did after good kid, mAAd city. That didn’t happen, but I still think Saba is bound for stardom.

19. Hop Along - Bark Your Head Off, Dog

I didn’t stick with this album as much as I thought I would when I first heard “How Simple”--I think a lot of my adoration for this album actually zeroes in on that song, actually--but we had a nice summer fling.

18. The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

This album is probably my biggest disappointment of 2018. So much of it doesn’t work for me. I wish I could cut out every terrible, self-indulgent lyric like “Kids don’t want rifles, / kids want Supreme” and “I found a gray hair in one of my zoots, / like context in a modern debate, I just took it out.” “The Man Who Married A Robot” had to have been written by a man who thinks he has something profound to say about how humans are affected by technology, but has also never seen 2001: A Space Odyssey. Matty Healy apologized for his ridiculous and offensive comments in The Fader about misogyny in rock music and hip-hop, but I can’t return to “Love It If We Made It” after Matty essentially said “hey actually I don’t know what I’m talking about, sorry y’all” with regard to its lyrical content. I think Healy is essentially rewriting Drake’s career, coming so close to genuine profundity at every turn and constantly falling victim to his own inflated ego.

Still, I adore the minute-to-minute songwriting on this record so much that I can ignore its many failed attempts at crafting a larger statement. “I Like America and America Likes Me” is so good that I don’t mind skipping “The Man Who Married Robot” when it’s over. “It’s Not Living If It’s Not With You” is exactly the type of song that seems effortless to The 1975, but no one else has quite cracked yet.

17. Mitski - Be The Cowboy

Be The Cowboy is probably my least favorite of Mitski’s records. This one didn’t blow my mind the way that Puberty 2 did, and I don’t think it’s as timeless as Bury Me At Makeout Creek, but it’s still a god damn good Mitski album. “Old Friend” makes my heart skips beats.

16. Foxing - Nearer My God

I don’t really remember this album coming out. The only thing I remember about the first time I listened to it was that I was falling asleep on the subway, constantly restarting it from track one and dozing off again before that song ended.  

15. Courtney Barnett - Tell Me How You Really Feel

I’ve always felt like I should like Courtney Barnett more, and it all clicked into place for me on this record. I love the vocal melodies and how they play with Courtney’s guitar work. It’s also a very enjoyable listen from start to finish, and when it first released, it was my go-to walk-around-my-neighborhood-and-think-about-life album.

14. boygenius - boygenius

This release is such a dream come true that it almost feels wrong—how could two of the best active songwriters today start a band together? And how does that band live up to every expectation? How did Julien Baker and Phoebe Bridgers come through with their best songs ever for their supergroup? This is the EP that shouldn’t exist because we don’t deserve nice things.

13. The HIRS Collective - Friends. Lovers. Favorites.

This is the album you’re all sleeping on. The best hardcore album of 2018 and among the best of the past five years. For fans of scary, heavy music with lyrics about trans and queer liberation. Read this and listen.

12. Brian Fallon - Sleepwalkers

Sleepwalkers is exactly where I wanted Brian Fallon to go after Painkillers. I know so many Gaslight Anthem fans who want Fallon to write the same song over and over--and I love that song, to be fair--but Fallon’s songwriting is most interesting to me when he’s branching out and experimenting with new songs. I think that’s why I’ve always loved Get Hurt, and it’s certainly why I love Sleepwalkers. The British invasion sound that Fallon plays with here fits like a glove, and the slowed-down Manilow-esque “Etta James” is the best song he’s written in at least four years. I feel like Fallon’s next album will be a bit more typical, as the cycle of Fallon records tends to go, but Sleepwalkers stands out and I hope Brian Fallon never stops writing songs.

11. Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

I think there’s a fantastic seven-track album within POST-. I don’t care much for the long songs here, because I don’t think longer song structures are well-suited to Jeff Rosenstock’s frenetic style, so when I listened to POST- this year, I most often started with “Yr Throat” and turned it off once “9/10″ was over. I’ve included it so high on my list because I think that seven-track album is perfect. It’s frustrating how good those songs are. The thing about Jeff Rosenstock is that he writes so many songs (this is the first of two appearances he’ll make in my top eleven of 2018) that I can forgive the clunkers, especially when they’re so nicely bookended at the beginning and end of an album. 

The fact that the larger “rock” audience hasn’t caught on to the fact that Rosenstock is one of the best songwriters alive and releases multiple records each year is confounding. WORRY. remains one of the best rock albums of the decade, and POST- is a perfectly good follow-up.

10. Now, Now - Saved

Now, Now’s turn with Saved reminds me so much of the recent Paramore trajectory. It seemed for a while that the previous album would be the last. When the island-pop follow-up with a new lineup was announced, I feared that everything I’d previously loved about the band was gone. Then the album came out, and I fell head over heels for it.

I listened to Saved a lot on my roof this summer as I stole time and watched the sun set between my two jobs. I often had a few free hours here or there, and I spent so many of those hours listening to “Window” or “AZ” as I sipped a beer and watched the planes land in Queens. 

I don’t remember much of this year--so much of it blends together in a way that, honestly, concerns me. But the nights I spent with “Saved” blend together as well, and if I look back at my summer in 2018 and only remember getting drunk as the sky turned pink in Brooklyn with “SGL” in my headphones, I’m cool with it.

9. Ruston Kelly - Dying Star

I’m not usually in the business of recommending country albums, so you know this one must be good. 

Dying Star does so much by the books. “Mockingbird” could be a radio hit. “Cover My Tracks” features a main melody that I swear I’ve heard in a Ryan Adams song before. It all works, mind--it works so well that the subversive moments all land even harder. 

Maybe I’m just out of touch with the genre, but I have never heard a song like “Son Of A Highway Daughter” before. I didn’t know country artists were allowed to pull a “Hide and Seek” and hide the instruments behind several minutes of vocoder vocals. If this has been going on longer than Ruston Kelly’s tenure in writing songs, please send those albums to me. 

I love interesting music, and Dying Star is the most interesting country album I’ve heard since Taylor Swift’s Red (will not be answering messages debating Red’s existence as a country album, thank you). 

8. Pusha T - DAYTONA

I spent most of the early parts of 2018 angry at Kanye West. As the “Santeria” beat unfolded from the speakers of my 2003 Ford Escape, stuck in stand-still traffic in Staten Island, mere weeks before its transition would fail and leave me stranded in an AMC Theaters parking lot, I had a single, fleeting moment of shit, what am I going to do if this Kanye album is good?

Luckily, that feeling faded before I crossed the bridge into Jersey. But there are elements to Pusha T’s greatest record, DAYTONA, that prove that Kanye hadn’t lost quite all of his marbles when he conducted these beats and dreamed up the concept of the all-killer-no-filler, seven-track hip-hop album. Every second of this album is good. Because it has so few keystone moments, every moment is memorable. In that sense, listening to DAYTONA reminds me a lot of listening to Bruce Springsteen’s Born To Run. Springsteen conducted that album so each side of the LP would start and end with one of the record’s best songs. Therefore, each moment of picking up the record and flipping it results in some thought of “damn, that was good and I am truly enjoying this LP.” I feel like DAYTONA is structured similarly, albeit with the lens for the streaming generation. Pusha gets in and out of verses effortlessly here, and each track opens and closes in a memorable way. Before you have time to get bored, the record is over and repeating and you're ready to hear it again.

It will likely be another several years before another Pusha T record, so it will be interesting to see how this one’s short length holds up as the thirst grows. But for the time being, part of me wishes every album was so dedicated to trimming the fat and delivering the goods only.

7. Travis Scott - Astroworld

I’ve never been wrong about a rapper like I was wrong about Travis Scott in 2014. I wrote Travis off when “Mamacita” dropped because he came across to me as a Yeezus impressionist who wanted desperately to be Young Thug. In 2018, Young Thug hasn’t had the hit I’ve always assumed was around the corner, and Kanye is a hack. 

I can only imagine hearing a song like “Sicko Mode” in high school. The way that song, and so much of Astroworld, effortlessly hops between movements, weaving in and out of movements and codas as if that’s ever been allowed in pop music--Travis Scott really did something here. It’s like he traded all of the corniness for genuine insight into the mechanics of hip-hop music, and in the process released of the genre’s standout albums in a post-DS2 world. Sometimes, it’s good to be wrong.

6. Staten - I don’t want to be alone anymore

I always laugh when Justin puts out a new song because he’s so god damn good at this. Unsigned artists shouldn’t be able to make pop music that sounds this solid, this well-produced. Find me another local musician who’s making pop music on the level of “Saturn” or “Loy’s Son.”

There are a ridiculous amount of good Staten albums, and I don’t want to be alone anymore is one of my favorites. Do yourself a favor and spend some time on Justin’s bandcamp page.

5. Antarctigo Vespucci - Love In The Time Of E-Mail

Love In The Time Of E-Mail is my favorite Chris Farren full-length. I love the grit that Jeff Rosenstock brings to Farren’s otherwise glossy songwriting style, and I love how Chris’ lyrics straddle the line because funny and heartfelt, often in the same song. I think my single favorite moment from a song this year is the bridge of “Breathless on DVD,” where Farren sings: “Am I unhappy because I’m not free, / or not free because I’m unhappy? / I wanted to see you / to see if I still wanted to see you.” “Breathless On DVD” is the kind of song that makes you wonder how some emo band didn’t already write this whole album a decade ago. It instantly meshes with the canon of albums I’ve spent my life with, and fits like a glove. I hope I never wear this one out.

4. The Wonder Years - Sister Cities

I wrote a bit about this album in a personal essay for Substream earlier this year, but to elaborate a bit: The Wonder Years have a habit of releasing life-affecting albums right when I feel like I need one. The Upsides and Suburbia I’ve Given You All And Now I’m Nothing came into my life a few months after I ended my first real relationship and started to wonder why I had spent so much of my life up to that point consumed by my own inexplicable sadness. The Greatest Generation came out a month shy of my high school graduation and I spent a lot of time that summer delivering pizza, dreading the day I’d have to leave my friends to move into a dorm room and meet new ones, listening to The Wonder Years and wondering if this is what it feels like with my wings clipped, I’m awkward and nervous, I’m awkward and nervous.

Sister Cities is an album about boundaries and the bodies of water that separate us and how traveling the planet makes us feel more distant and more connected to the people who pass through our lives for however long. I split my time between New York and New Jersey this summer, working a handful of jobs across both states, trying to pay my rent without the help of student loans and putting a little bit of scratch aside in case I needed to get out in the next few months for whatever reason. Around this time, I also began to process how upset I was about the death of my Aunt Mary, who passed away during my first week of graduate school, whose funeral was the first of a handful I had to miss due to geographical limitations and work obligations. I slept on New Jersey Transit a lot those weekends, and I listened to this album on repeat as I dozed off, as my train passed over bridges and into tunnels, until I woke up and walked off into a different home from where I started.

I think there’s a shift here—Dan Campbell is no longer belting out war cries like “I’m not sad anymore, I’m just tired of this place” or “I’m gonna shoulder the weight till my back breaks, / I want to run till my lungs give up.” It’s a quieter, more personal record that wrangles with quieter, more personal subject matter than previous Wonder Years releases. That resonated with me this year, and while I’m not sure how much I’ll return to Sister Cities compared to The Greatest Generation or even The Upsides in the future, I will not forget the time we spent together in 2018.

3. Spanish Love Songs - Schmaltz

Schmatlz was my most played album of 2018—I think that counts for something. Like if The Menzingers incorporated Bomb The Music Industry’s synthesizer lines, Spanish Love Songs make the most fun denim-clad Americana punk I’ve ever heard. I love every song on this album. I wore it out this year, and then I played it some more. I hear so often from my friends in the punk scene that there aren’t enough new bands making good punk music—this band is doing exactly that, friends.

I think Schmaltz, more than any other album on this list, will be the one that will forever remind me of my time living in Brooklyn. I spent countless nights last year walking home from my local neighborhood bar, Aunt Ginny’s, drunk, anxious, spinning as I avoided traffic and worried about homework I hadn’t done yet and mouthing the words to “Beer & NyQuil” and “Buffalo Buffalo” with Schmaltz in my headphones. It’s a cathartic record that made me feel considerably less alone in a year where my loneliness was more pervasive than ever. It’s a time and a place, but that time and that place weren’t so bad.

2. Jake Newcomb - Yosemite

When I was in my last year of high school, Jake Newcomb was in a pop-punk/emo band called Cross Town Train. Cross Town Train had a song called “Red Floral Dress,” and I can still remember the first time I heard it, in a friend’s house where we all hung out after school. “Red Floral Dress” was Cross Town Train’s best song, I think, the one that the crowd always went crazy for. I heard it hundreds of times that year, most of which I spent at local shows with friends and drunk in basements. I still consider it my favorite song of all time.

I loved and continue to love “Red Floral Dress” because it was the first time I can remember one of my friends creating a piece of art that felt not only impressive from a craft perspective, but truly important. It was cathartic. I was very confused about feelings of love toward everyone that year—my friends, my romantic interests, my hometown, my family—and that moment at the end of the bridge: “I’d been anticipating this for weeks,/because I don’t know how I feel about you—/and then I saw you, and then I saw you, and then I saw you,” sounded so obvious to me. Of course there is an answer here. There is an answer, an answer that Jake Newcomb has figured out, and it will come for you in time.

I have been thinking about “Red Floral Dress” a lot lately because Jake Newcomb released a new album this year. Yosemite is a nine-track album, the first full-length album that Jake wrote and released on his own. I love the vocal melodies and I love how beautiful the acoustic arrangement sounds, but the reason I resonated so quickly with the record is because of how obvious it all seems. Lyrically, the record follows the story of a relationship from beginning to end. Each of its tracks address peripheral factors that put stress on a new relationship. “Sparky” was inspired by the death of Jake’s childhood dog, which coincided with the relationship. “Warped Tour” and “Cross Town Train” consider shared experience and lack thereof between the singer and his partner. Several tracks, like the standout “Little Things,” explore lowercase-p-political themes, like how poverty, the perceived inability to provide for a significant other, and the ever-present fear of climate change damage the ability to see a potential relationship as something that could possibly last in the long-term. In the closing title track, Newcomb croons without judgment about the passage of time: “It’s been a long time / since I loved you / like I used to.”

Yosemite sounds so clear to me—much in the way that “Red Floral Dress” sounded like an obvious answer to my teenage anxiety, Yosemite sounds wise and experienced, vulnerable, and relatable. The album artwork reflects my feelings best—a landscape full of trees, cliffs, fog, dirt, a layered image of a valley that goes on for miles that simultaneously seems so clear, beautiful, and obvious.

1. The Story So Far - Proper Dose

There is so much that I love about this record. I love the production, how it paints frontman Parker Cannon’s voice in a manner that show off his technical chops while retaining so much of the timbre of scorn that gave The Story So Far rise in the punk scene in the first place. I love the committed dive into acoustic tones and slowed down BPMs, both songwriting elements that TSSF have been flirting with since “Placeholder,” but entirely nail with “Upside Down.” I love how surprising these songs are—how the the “save my soul” refrain emerges from the ashes of a 90-second punk banger at the end of “Need To Know;” how the slurred, auto-tuned vocal line in “Growing On You” worms its way out of the bassy “Line” interlude, giving both tracks a sense of linked significance. 

All that aside, Proper Dose is my favorite album of 2018 because of its urgency and importance. Its structure and content remind me of Tyler, The Creator’s Flower Boy, which was my favorite album of 2017. On that record, Tyler tells a story while wrangling with questions he doesn’t yet have answers to. Once he has confronted the central knot on “Garden Shed,” rapping as quickly as he can to put his admission of confusion out into the world before he has the ability to stop himself—“that was real love I was in / ain’t no reason to pretend”—the narrative begins to accelerate, rushing in as many disparate directions as possible in rapid succession. The rambling “Boredom” jams up against the erratic “I Ain’t Got Time!” before the split “911/Mr. Lonely” directly confronts that the narrator is lonely and depressed, but will keep on dancing to throw ‘em off. The b-side’s lack of cohesion is its cohesion, as a meta-narrative emerges—Tyler is racing to the end of a record, hoping to find the answers to his questions there, as if all endings inherently offer serendipitous and logical conclusions. 

I think Proper Dose is structured similarly, albeit with significant differences. The lyrics to Proper Dose are primarily concerned with Cannon’s struggle with addiction to xanax and prescription cough syrup, and the arc finds the narrator reaching for answers. It’s here where the whole record comes together for me. Yes, “Need To Know” culminates in a surprising refrain, but that refrain is as inevitable is it could possibly be—when Cannon’s frustration and desperate admissions of internal struggle reach their ends, the only logical move is a shift and a direct address: Save my soul. That slurred vocal effect in “Growing On You” works so well because he sounds depleted, and by track ten, Cannon has already effectively shown the extent to which his addiction has left him exhausted. “Not as simple as I wanted it to be,” he sings slowly, as if the words are being pulled out of him, as if doing so is the only way to reach some type of conclusion. “Now I gotta say all of the things that are bothering me.”

All of this is to say that I have written a lot this year, and I still have more trouble than I’d like to admit writing about the knots that tie me up inside. An advisor of mine once told me that writing toward hardship and trauma is like holding a beach ball underwater: it gets harder the deeper one goes. If you let go, the ball returns to the surface, and you must start the work over of returning to previous depths. 

I think Proper Dose would be The Story So Far’s best album even with its lyrics—urgency and importance—removed entirely. The vocal melodies here have improved dramatically over 2015’s self-titled effort, and for the first time, the songwriting sounds as though the band prioritized the listening experience over the crowd-going experience for their live shows. But it’s that leap of faith, that urgency and importance, that excavation of one’s own hardship, that makes it resonate so deeply with me.

[jeanklemwriter]

Marvel recently made yours truly (and a good number of other people) pretty cross with their recent statements that their attempts at diversity aren’t working and that “people don’t want diversity”.

Let’s ignore how Marvel charts sales only via floppies, and not trade paperbacks and/or digital copies. Let’s ignore how Marvel fails to hire new writers to reflect their diverse characters or audiences. Let’s instead focus on a graphic novel industry that’s currently eating Marvel’s pie while it complains about SJWs and makes old characters Nazis (because women inheriting Thor’s title is cardinal sin, but making them Nazis is A-OK).

Let’s talk about manga.

The Big Two, these being DC and Marvel, have a lot they should be learning from manga. It’s a growing industry! It survived a cataclysmic bubble-burst in 2008, but currently is still in a growth period. Shonen Jump has survived its print parallell being shuttered, as a digital-only publication. What are the likes of One-Punch Man, Please Tell Me! Galko-Chan!, and Attack on Titan doing that DC and Marvel aren’t? Well, for starters (more after the break)...

Manga is cheaper. Used to be, people on Gaia Online would joke that manga was a drug because it was more expensive than crack, but that’s not quite true. When it started, a Shonen Jump trade paperback (commonly called a “tankoubon”, because that’s what they’re called in Japan) would retail at $7.95. Eventually, Viz bumped up the price--to $9.95 a pop. Today, you can expect to spend as much as $12.99 a pop per tankoubon, although Shonen Jump stuff still retails at just under $10, for something between 190 - 256 pages in length. Meanwhile, the MSRP for a 168-page-long Spider-Man trade paperback is $24.99. A lot of arguments can be made here: anime is only in black-and-white, the paper stock is different. But why is an imported comic that needs to be licensed, translated, edited, published, then distributed a cheaper alternative than a comic made in the US? Monthly issues (”floppies”)  are a terrible investment, clocking in at $3 - $7 a pop, only 16 pages, and flimsy/fragile as all heck! Worse yet, in Marvel’s case, digital copies of the same issue cost the same as the print copy. (With Shonen Jump? They’re three bucks cheaper.) People only have so much cash, and they want their money to last: a story that’ll last you ten minutes isn’t going to be considered if that same money can go to a game that’s on sale on Steam. Considering how much work goes into a comic, I’d never even dream to consider that comics should be cheaper, but at least give people more bang for their buck.

Manga stories aren’t a messy web. When I started reading Dan Slott’s Amazing Spider-Man run in 2014, there was a whole extra series being sold alongside it that I also found myself needing to read: Learning to Crawl, which was sold as--get this--decimal-issues of Amazing Spider-Man. LtC counted as issues 1.1 to 1.6 of ASM. What. It can be argued that Learning to Crawl wasn’t necessary to understand Amazing Spider-Man, but then an important character introduced in LtC became an important recurring character in ASM. Now, let’s get even messier: ASM continued with the Spider-Verse event, with no less than four comics tying into the darn thing: Edge of Spider-Verse, Spider-Man 2099, Spider-Woman, and Amazing Spider-Man. All of those characters and comics were involved, and had a hand in that event. I didn’t read all of those comics, only EoSV and ASM--so I can’t begin to explain why Spider-Woman was hiding in the Inheritor World when she was, or how Kaine appeared. Compare this to 20th Century Boys, Naoki Urusawa’s tale of childhood, post-war Japan, friendship, and political intrigue. If you want to understand that story, pick up volume one (I insist, it’s so good) and start reading. Wanna catch up on Berserk while its on hiatus? Just buy a volume and start reading! Anyone jumping into a comic book has to be ready to read three different books just to get the low-down on one story, which doesn’t combine well with the aforementioned pricing problems. Floppies are already a tough investment, and they feel even cheaper when you’re supposed to supplement them with even more purchases. It gets worse when you remember...

Manga stories don’t come with baggage. Amazing Spider-Man wasn’t as great an introduction to the character as it could have been. If Peter Parker wasn’t such a cultural marker, that story would have left me confused. Who is this guy in the red-and-blue? Why does he have spider-powers? On a deeper level, what happened with him and Doctor Octopus?! Yeah, see, ASM takes place after a period of time where Doctor Octopus switched minds with Peter Parker and took over his body, becoming the “Superior Spider-Man”, and ASM starts with Peter having regained his body and finding the messes that Doc Oc left for Peter--and trust me, not having read the SSM books, I was surprised to see stuff like Electro and Black Cat having a vendetta against Spidey, or Mary Jane having married someone else. In other words, to understand a current comic book character, you’ve had to have been reading about them for over two years--or dived into a wiki. Now, few manga in the US have lasted the forty-plus years that the likes of Captain America, Batman, or Animal Man have, but even after 84 volumes One Piece is somehow still easier to jump into than an alleged reboot (they’re pirates looking for treasure, also yo-ho-ho Luffy took a bite of gum-gum). If your point is to create an entry point for new readers, you’ve failed when people need to read at least one other book to understand the current one.

Manga covers a lot of ground. Used to be, comics in the US had all kinds of genres: besides superheroes, we had romance, horror, suspense, crime thrillers, and comedies. The rise of the Comic Book Code changed all of that; now all DC and Marvel publish are superheroes. Shonen Jump may be the house that’s ruled by Dragon Ball and One Piece, but Shonen Jump still has piles of variety. Besides action stories, they also cover comedy (Cowa!, Gintama), romance (I’’s, Strawberry 100%), horror (Muyo and Rohji’s Supernaural Detective Agency), sports (Prince of Tennis, Eyeshield 21) and thrillers (Death Note). I’m only covering series that are licensed in the US, mind--Japan has weirder stuff from Shonen Jump, like the positively-ancient KochiKame. Too much emphasis is put on capes in the Big Two. Even their attempts at moving away from that are overshadowed by capes: Grayson may have been a spy thriller, but it still starred Dick Grayson, alias Nightwing (and onetime Batman). Gotham Academy was a fun adventure series set in a large prep school--in the middle of Gotham City. The closest we could hope for Marvel to do as a romance would be Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane. It seems Marvel and DC aren’t capable--or willing--to release anything that isn’t attached to their superheroes. (There’s a lot to unpack with that last statement, and there’s no space and time to cover that--let’s just say you can’t have an audience you don’t cultivate, and you can’t complain about people ignoring you if you ignore them.) Finally...

Manga actually hires women. Two of the most beloved manga of all time, each responsible for an entire generation of manga fans, are Ranma 1/2 and Inuyasha. They’re both romantic comedies with lots of action; the former is more comedy than action, the latter is more action and fantasy than romance. Both of these came to be genre-defining works. Their creator? Rumiko Takahashi--a woman. She’s not alone, either: Naoko Takeuchi’s Sailor Moon, Yana Toboso’s Black Butler, CLAMP’s Chobits, xxxHolic, and Tsubasa Resorvoir Chronicles, Hiromu Arakawa’s Full-Metal Alchemist... there is a not-insignificant list of very, very prolific manga that are written and drawn by women. Meanwhile, DCs policies during the New 52 meant that only two women worked with them: writer Gail Simone and artist Amy Reeder. A lot of people on the internet argue for a total meritocracy: that creators should be hired for their talent or skill, and not because they’re women/people of color. But you can’t have a healthy industry without a wide variety of creators. A wide, diverse team of writers means you have a wide, diverse set of viewpoints and experiences that translate to different stories. Ranma 1/2 isn’t a great story because Rumiko Takahashi is a woman, it’s a great story because Rumiko Takahashi is a great writer and artist. But she actually had to get hired in order to make Ranma 1/2. The only reason for Marvel and DC to not have more women in their teams is if they don’t give a crap... and, really, that’s quite telling: you can’t complain attempts at diversity aren’t working if you’re not willing to commit to it. Manga isn’t great at diversity either, owing to Japan’s far-more-ethnocentric population, but there’s still startlingly-more variety with manga than there’s ever been with comics in years. If publishers in the US want to make better business, start looking at how their international fellows handle business. Millions of One Piece fans worldwide exist for a reason.

[survivingart]

IS THIS ART?

Countless figures throughout history have tried to explain this incredibly complex question: What is art? And more importantly, what isn’t art?

But still the institutions have no real answer, no common ground upon which they could define a normative of what defines art. Brut art is a problem, so are other outsider artists, and home schooled creatives that defy or just never become part of the institutional system. 

It’s the carpenters that put more than the usual love and attention to detail in building their “consumer objects”. It’s the iPhones and iPads and other designer products that always walk the thin line between art and function.

Then you have others that do not agree with the institutional idea that one needs to even be part of the system to be considered an artist. You only need to have ideas and communicate them with the world via your production.

And in the philosophy of aesthetics — the field that studies this question ontologically — there is even more confusion. A materialist philosopher that believes all reality is only material and no immaterial reality can ever exist, will tell you art is pure matter, pure reciprocity between the object and its perceiver.

But they might also say that art doesn’t even need spectators to exist — like the whole status of art is somehow imbued inside the object that it is representing. Almost comically, some believe art is a magical aura (but of course physical, never metaphysical or non-material) that lives in an object, a special part — almost like an extra organ of the body of that object — that pumps pure artistic energy through it and makes us instantly experience art, if we indeed are knowledgable and receptive enough to perceive it.

But it’s all a load of incoherent and over-theorised bull if you ask me.

For me, all of this began with Descartes, when he decided to divide reality into two connected but distinct realities: the material and immaterial world.

There are even jokes about how the common person in the street is always a cartesian — a follower of Descartes — even if they themselves don’t know it; all average people believe in a body and in a soul as two distinct entities.

Now, I won’t go into the fallacies of such beliefs too much as this is an art channel not a philosophy discussion, but just to give a bit of context, I’d like to present three interesting and extremely precise arguments for the contrary — that art is not an object, but an experience.

Because if art is an experience, we surely can come to understand that truly it is impossible to create a functional theory, a list of checkboxes that anything considered art has to tick to really become art, or even fine art.

The first is by Thomas Nagel, the author of the story titled What It Is Like To Be A Bat, who posed an interesting proposition: 

While humans can understand and imagine the behaviours of creatures, in this case a bat; merely being able to imagine how it would feel to be able to fly, navigate by sonar, hang upside down and eat insects, would never really be the same as a bat’s perspective. 

Nagel claims that even if we were able to gradually turn into bats (think Kafka, but more uplifting), our brains would not have been wired as a bat’s from birth; therefore, we would only be able to experience the life and behaviours of a bat, rather than their mindset.

To behave as something isn’t equal to being something, regardless of how much it looks, swims and quacks like a duck, the shocker is, it might just be a rubber ducky. 

And this goes for our language and communication problem too; I could paint a picture of an apple being picked by a woman somewhere in a forest. Some would see a nice lady picking apples, others would see the highly complex concept of Ancestral Sin. Same painting, same communication, immensely different results.

The next story, written by Frank Jackson is also about a woman who’s life is changed because of an apple — not because of eating it but merely by looking at it! Titled What Mary Didn’t Know, it describes a very curious lady who loved natural sciences — the field of colour theory especially. 

She knew everything there was to know about colours; their wavelengths, the numerous psychological effects colours have on us, the various types of receptors that are utilised in our bodies to see them … just about everything. But she had one issue. She had been educated about all of this in a black-and-white room.

Black-and-white books, TV screens, and furniture — for some weird reason even Mary herself is black-and-white, but it is a story and if it was OK for Little Red Riding Hood to be red, I guess Mary can be colourless too.

So Jackson argued: Even though Mary had all the same information about colours that we do, she had never really experienced them and was therefore missing one crucial piece of information; one important bit of quaila, as philosophers like to call these magical bits of subjective experience, namely actually seeing red.

Jackson proposed that when Mary stepped out of her room and saw a red, juicy apple, she not only saw colour for the first time, she in fact learned something new. Something that she couldn’t have learned through any text book or black-and-white YouTube video. 

She gained a new emotional and preceptorial experience — seeing red. (Remember all those people who told us that we can’t learn everything from books, well they were right in a way!)

And the last, and my personal favourite story curiously also evolves around red (philosophers love it for some reason). One of the greatest minds of the 21st century, John Searle wrote a wonderful tale about a talking room.

Titled The Chinese Room, this wonderful tale of speaking Asian walls stirred the lines of cognitive scientists when first presented in 1980. It describes a room, where one would input a piece of written-down information — be it a question, a statement or just a remark about the weather — and the room, after a period of time, would answer back. All in Chinese for some weird reason, probably because Searle himself said he’s awful at speaking Mandarin (The man speaks more than 6 languages fluently though!).

Well, the room wasn’t some magical artefact from a forgotten time, it was operated by one person. And the interesting fact was, that parson had no idea how to speak or write Mandarin. What he did have though was an assortment of instructions and guidelines on what to do and a giant library of cards with Chinese signs, decorating the walls of the room.

Whenever text was slid through the opening in the main wall, he would open the instruction books at the appropriate page depicting the combination of symbols (he was obviously really efficient at what he did and compensated generously for his job, probably owned a villa and a few Ferraris too).

After locating the right page in the manual, he would then find the appropriate cards on the shelves of the room, align them in the order depicted in the instructions and return the answer back though the slit in the wall. And the person on the outside would be absolutely amazed of how wonderful a computer this contraption was!

But the point of Searle’s work wasn’t to explain away computers by using miniature librarians living in our processors and memory units, he wanted to point out a simple yet profound truth about communication, computation and the mind. One that we have heard twice before, albeit in different iterations and with slightly different points.

Syntax (that is the assortment of signals; be it voice signals, written words or electric currents going to the processors of our computers) does not equal semantics (that is the name we give to meaning; the meaning of a word, a picture, a sign … anything that has some symbolical value to anyone).

The only true way to experience art is to, well, experience it. It’s impossible to not experience something if we wish to even try to comprehend it, let alone understand fully what it is about.

It’s like dreaming about something you have never experienced — I know, dreams almost never look like reality, but to be honest, our dreams don’t just appear as a beam of light from god or some bored alien on Mars that decided to give us a transcendental experience because we’re the chosen one to guide human kind into onto the next level of existence.

It’s all just pieced together by everything we experience during our waking days. Every bit of information was consciously or unconsciously experienced and internalised. It’s the same with art.

You need to be present, you are indeed the key to the question of: What art is? Without anyone to view the Mona Lisa, there is no art, just a peculiar object. 

Because to know what art is, we also need to know what art isn’t. 

But when does art stop to be? Or what if it never even become perceivable to us as art?

In the moment where there are no more men, no more women, and no more children.

And what happens to art then?

It is, like all that is created from an ego, bound to its creator. When he perishes, so does the essence of all his children, leaving behind a heap of empty material shells. But the intricate architectural dams of beavers, the beautiful patterns of various animals and the chirping and poems of all the beautifully performing singing birds. These don’t perish. 

Even if there is no man to hear the song, see the pattern and enjoy the complexity of animal life and their creations they still serve an immediate function. 

If there is a female Nightingale around, the song is heard, if there are beavers, they will enjoy and understand the dams and the tigers will comprehend their intricate skin patterns — each species forming its own personal language. 

And when they’re gone, so are all their features, all their creations.

And you know why? 

Because even if today the thought of a non-sociocentric universe is impossible for most, some things in the world actually weren’t made by us. Neither to amuse or to teach. And because of that, they can last quite a bit longer than our concept of art ever will.

Art is an experience, not an object. But it isn’t only a material experience — and no, I’m not saying it’s magic that makes us live and die, because the last time I checked nobody wrote Emet on my head and magically made me a real boy the way the golem becomes alive in Jewish folklore.

But the point to take home is, the more you know, the more you understand about the world around you, the more things will give you the same experience of art, of the sublime.

Because while surely not any object can produce the same power of artistic pleasure — for me it’s a mid-late Rothko painting, for you it might be a conceptual piece with hay and neon or a realistic portrait of Loui XV or just a nice handmade drawing of your child about how much they love you.

The object is only as important as our understanding of it. That’s why learning is paramount. To be a good artist, and even a good spectator we need to constantly expand our horizons. Because the day we stop learning is the day we create a canon in our life.

And as with every determinate belief that only so and so is an artist and the others are imposters, we inevitably become blind to the ineffable vastness of what art really is. 

Art is everything. But to the inexperienced and blind, it is less than nothing, because even nothing takes something form us, whereas a foreign object to a closed mind doesn’t even register. It is like it never even existed.

So to truly experience reality — at least a much of it as we possibly can — we need to stay humble, open and childlike in our awe towards the world. If nothing else, we owe it to either God or our parents or ourselves or just to the lovely abyss that the nihilists of us enjoy staring down.

We owe it to whatever makes us stand-up in the morning to give everything the world has to offer a chance. Maybe we will find a new thing we like, but it’s much more likely we’ll discover a previously completely hidden part of reality that was really just hiding in plain sight.

What is art then?

Everything for those of us that aren’t afraid to look.   

from Surviving Art http://bit.ly/2WJW4tG via IFTTT

[lidasturdivant-blog]

The Craft From Video clip Games.

Nioh is actually a great deal like Dark Spirits, yet one vital place where this differs coming from Coming from Software program's activities resides in how it comes close to tale and storytelling- where Black Hearts video games are actually strongly static narration take ins, saying to a ton of their tales via their environments and thing explanations, leading it to the gamers to piece traits with each other, Nioh is actually fairly much more motion picture- it says to an incredibly certain tale of real world sailor William Adams, who ends up associated with some distinctly unreal experiences along with daemons, ghosts, and also various other mythological elements. And while no one encourages devoting hr after hour pc gaming, video games could enhance a person's' self-efficacy, improve their intellectual versatility as well as self-constraint, and construct social hookups. The site Watchers on the Wall surface has shown, nonetheless, that Bradley could reveal his face in season seven, if his taking action CV and also web site are actually anything to pass. Thanks once again Shannon for the tip of exactly how our women observe exactly how our company Dads handle, and also ought to value their Moms !! Just as our company definitely would not intend to consume simply pastured chick boob as well as untamed salmon in addition to merely cabbage and green spinach, if our company pay attention to incorporating some grass-fed meat, some crazy fish, some pastured chicken, some eggs off pastured hens and some game meats, if available, our team'll connect with a beautifully balanced stable of healthy proteins, to accompany an equally different range of clean, local area, in period veggies. The activity appears lovely on Android and also possesses a high-octane soundtrack to recommend you onwards. Here is more in regards to botalus.info visit our own page. And whether Caraval is actually true or not, Scarlett should discover Tella prior to the 5 evenings of the video game are over or even an unsafe contagion effect from effects will definitely be triggered, as well as her precious sister will definitely vanish for life. In the meantime, game spare records is actually held simply on the system, and also may certainly not be actually moved to different devices or maybe the SD memory card as a back-up. There are actually a lot of great pinball games for Android, but Pinball Arcade is actually a bit different. No, I am actually not here to denounce Nintendo's brand-new console as a flimflam - trust me, I am actually still incredibly delighted of what Nintendo is proposing - yet there was definitely something incredibly inappropriate concealed amongst all the hipster parties and synthetic eSports gatherings our experts observed in the course of the brief, three-minute trailer. William Chyr's video game seems like a lithograph, its own home sketch as well as brutalist utopia spun into one. That selection, made in the heat from a second, showed the provider as eventually unready to overcome this ideological battle on the social stage, working as a multi-million-dollar defense for activity creators hoping to work with sex in their games. Now, sex was actually the all-natural" progression, as he placed that to Kolbe, an important topic for activities to deal with if they were actually to claim the artistic liberty paid for literature and cinema. A successful player or even an athlete may participate in also the activity of life successfully. Therefore our team anticipate the developers to have a little bit more time to work with the 1st few episodes of Period 3, so that they will not need to hurry them out the door; along with additional prep work having been actually performed before the very first incident debuts in the first couple of months of 2015. This ill me in the beginning, but then our experts're launched to this new cast from enjoyable, energetic volleyball gamers and it made up. I was anticipating an unsafe, impressive video game of one-upsmanship along the lines of the flick The Prestige. This would suggest Time 3 comes to maintain the same almost-monthly timetable as the last one-half from Season 2, which is exactly what most Warning collection seem to pursue. AtGames' Ultra Ride copy comes with pair of official-looking controllers, but be actually alerted - a number of outlets have disclosed the consol itself does not feature any sort of formal Sega hardware and also it seems to be the equipment itself leaves behind a whole lot to be intended when that relates to in fact operating the video games. In a current campaign, for instance, SocialVibe distributed currency for Zynga's several video games if customers checked out The Large Game Event, which countered personalities coming from FarmVille, YoVille, FrontierVille as well as others in a football video game financed by Kia. In other places, the internal moment from the Switch over is actually merely 32GB which, if you are intending to purchase activities electronically, will certainly certainly not receive you far in any way. I have read your blogging site for concerning 3 months now ... unhappy not to have commented. Mylod directed pair of episodes in Video game of Thrones season five, and two in time six, as performed Podewsa (whose period 5 incident Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken was actually recommended for an Emmy Award). Simply acquire your 2nd publication in the email last night and also I presently possess a lot of dishes flagged making ASAP! Gamings like Pixelberry's very own Senior high school Tale permit gamers to look into complicated reliable and moral concerns that may be otherwise challenging to replicate. That seems to be as well simple to mention folks do not have as a lot amount of money as they utilized to. (Blame Brexit!) Just what I think is occurring is actually people don't possess the money to validate handing over ₤ Forty Five on an all new activity they could possibly have or leave behind anymore - certainly not when they understand this'll be actually more affordable in a couple of weeks. This also doesn't look like the firm is actually going to make it possible to include additional activities as there is actually been actually no pointer of on the web connection for future downloads. Gamings make it possible for students to learn at their very own rate without consistent parental error. There are actually programs and also events looking into computer game as social record, while the popular video recording collection, Past Respawned possesses scholastics studying exactly how video games such as Assassin's Creed IV as well as After effects 4 present history to players, and also how those players answer. Absolutely nothing holes by means of my soul much more than to become helped remind the females I deserted when they were actually younger needed me a lot. Built by Steal Crate Gamings, Always keep Talking and Nobody Explodes calls for mindful focus coming from a suggested 2 to 6 gamers. I carry out need to give this book some props, considering that this is actually the very first time I have ever before needed to close a book for 90 few seconds to frantically laugh. Internal demonstrations give our team a suggestion of just what the activity resembled before this initial disclose yet a great deal of work was poured right into generating the ended up disclose. Listed here's every thing you need to learn about the device, off the video games to follow in the observing full weeks and also months and also the hardware that electrical powers this. Yet another strategy is actually to fail to remember mixing right into the video game and also rather inquire gamers to sit through an ad for virtual game currency.

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The Buy Pile: Bad People & Bad Decisions Make For Good Comics

WHAT IS THE BUY PILE?

Every week Hannibal Tabu (winner of the 2012 Top Cow Talent Hunt/blogger/novelist/poet/jackass on Twitter/head honcho of Komplicated) grabs a whole lotta comics. These periodicals are quickly sorted (how) into two piles — the “buy” pile (a small pile most weeks, comprised of planned purchases) and the “read” pile (often huge, often including comics that are really crappy but have some value to stay abreast of). Thursday afternoons you’ll be able to get his thoughts (and they’re just the opinions of one guy, so calm down, and here’s some common definitions used in the column) about all of that … which goes something like this …

THE BUY PILE FOR JANUARY 18, 2017

Curse Words #1 (Image Comics)

Jump from the Read Pile. The lure of leisure time and scantily clad romantic partners have felled conquerors of many stripes, from the Zentraedi in “Robotech” to … well, the Invid in “Robotech.” In this crafty new book, an imperialist’s minion gets a change of heart when he experiences New York City. That part is very engaging, and when the bill inevitably comes due that leads to some solid action and the truth needing protection in an extreme fashion. Charles Soule, Ryan Browne, Jordan Boyd, Michael Parkinson, Chris Crank and Shawn DePasquale turned in one entertaining work and watching this struggle between demons and slightly better angels is a great start.

“Grand Passion” #3 breaks all the rules and loves every minute of it.

Grand Passion #3 (Dynamite Entertainment)

Jump from the Read Pile. Not at all safe for work, this twisted gunpoint love story has everything you need to get engaged in the characters and resolve the plot in this issue while pushing you towards the next one. Spoilers would abound with discussing the details, but James Robinson, Tom Feister, Dave Curiel and Simon Bowland deliver a bawdy, enjoyable romp.

WHAT’S THE PROGNOSIS?

New ideas getting their game face together? Gotta love that, especially with so much cool new stuff happening.

THIS WEEK’S READ PILE

Honorable Mentions: Stuff worth noting, even if it’s not good enough to buy

Answers start to come in “Mosaic” #4 with the help of a brain significantly better than the series’ protagonist. There’s a real holodeck feel to it, as a lot of nothing happened just to transfer some information and do a bit of character work. That dragged the plot, which wasn’t so good, but the building of Morris Sackett as a character is fantastic.

Maximus the Mad is like a bored frat boy Loki in “Uncanny Inhumans” #18 where he comes up with a plan that only involves a little bit of murder and mayhem but he figures will be wholly forgiven. Hanging out with two of the worst Inhuman villains aside from himself, this has the feeling of a good crime comedy but hits the brakes sometime during the second act, leaving things unresolved. An improvement with the focus on character, but not enough to make it home.

“WWE” #1 was interestingly written, presenting the story behind the story as a story, reframing actual events in wrestling … “history,” we can call it. In any case, this behind the scenes look plays out as if the characters on the screen are the same when the cameras are off, carrying the scripted nature of the stories to a whole new level. On one hand, that’s brilliant and amazing, especially with the Seth Rollins characterization. On another hand, many of the shirtless characters herein were difficult to distinguish from each other, and that made the story seem to go by in a blur at points.

“Captain America Sam Wilson” #18 took a long time to make what seems like an obvious decision (as stated by almost everybody who matters in these pages), which made its titular character terrible even in the eyes of many people closest to him. It also had a strategy from a young hero that bordered on stupidity, so that was a problem. What was good was Steve Rogers, dancing around double entendres so much that Ben Kenobi might pause and then applaud respectfully. The ideas are better than the execution, and if this issue is right that the cause matters more than the consequences, that’s something to like.

Just when “Star Wars Doctor Aphra” #3 was getting good, after some character development (including her full name) and finding out just how dangerous a single Wookiee can be, when the page count caught up to it, cutting the story off at the climax of a second act. Written as trade bait? Maybe. This was close to making the mark, though, as each cast member did some of what makes them awesome.

The “Meh” Pile Not good enough to praise, not bad enough to insult, they just kind of happened … “Harbinger Renegade” #3, “Aquaman” #15, “Revolutionaries” #1, “Trinity” #5, “Cage” #4, “Hook Jaw” #2, “Green Arrow” #15, “Squadron Supreme” #15, “Jeff Steinberg Champion Of Earth” #5, “Dollface” #1, “Lucifer” #14, “Spider-Gwen” #16, “Black Hammer Giant-Sized Annual” #1, “Venom” #3, “Superman” #15, “Deadpool And The Mercs For Money” #7, “Horizon” #7, “Ultimates 2” #3, “Justice League” #13, “Black Widow” #10, “Athena Voltaire And The Volcano Goddess” #3, “Suicide Squad Most Wanted El Diablo And Amanda Waller” #6, “Divinity III Aric Son Of The Revolution” #1, “Avengers” #3.1, “Raven” #5, “Unbelievable Gwenpool” #10, “Battlestar Galactica Gods And Monsters” #3, “Mighty Captain Marvel” #1, “Justice League Vs Suicide Squad” #5, “Gamora” #2, “Doctor Who The Ninth Doctor” #9, “Patsy Walker A.K.A. Hellcat” #14, “Harley Quinn” #12, “Kill Or Be Killed” #5, “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” #11, “James Bond Hammerhead” #4, “Nightwing” #13, “Black Panther World Of Wakanda” #3, “Generation Zero” #6, “Star-Lord” #2, “Cougar And Cub” #1, “All-New X-Men” #17, “Justice League Of America The Ray Rebirth” #1, “U.S. Avengers” #2, “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency The Salmon Of Doubt” #4, “Invincible Iron Man” #3, “He-Man Thundercats” #4, “Night’s Dominion” #5, “Green Lanterns” #15, “Few” #1, “Batman” #15.

No, just … no … These comics? Not so much …

Since “Clone Conspiracy” #4 and “Amazing Spider-Man” #23 have so many of the same story elements, they may as well have the same review. Of course, trusting maniacs and murderers goes as it inevitably has to after pages and pages of moralistic hand wringing and prevarication. These books are so predictably doomed that when the other shoe finally drops, it’s almost a relief to know there’s just the punching and attempted murder to get through now. Subpar concept, adequate execution.

SO, HOW BAD WAS IT?

Not bad.

WINNERS AND LOSERS

Those jumps, though … let’s call this week a winner.

THE BUSINESS

Well, there are 22 pages of a new 72 page web comic on line, there’s another one coming next month while a third just got collected for sale, 44 pages of story for just three bucks through Black History Month. All that and asking the question who is David Chance? It was a big weekend at the Black Comix Arts Festival in San Francisco, and if you join the mailing list there’s free stuff in it for you, to boot!

The writer of this column isn’t just a jerk who spews his opinions — he writes stuff too. A lot. Like what? You can get “Project Wildfire: Enter Project Torrent” (a collected superhero web comic), “The Crown: Ascension” and “Faraway,” five bucks a piece, or spend a few more dollars and get “New Money” #1 from Canon Comics, the rambunctious tale of four multimillionaires running wild in Los Angeles, a story in “Watson and Holmes Volume 2” co-plotted by “2 Guns” creator Steven Grant, two books from Stranger Comics — “Waso: Will To Power” and the sequel “Waso: Gathering Wind” (the tale of a young man who had leadership thrust upon him after a tragedy), or “Fathom Sourcebook” #1, “Soulfire Sourcebook” #1, “Executive Assistant Iris Sourcebook” #1 and “Aspen Universe Sourcebook,” the official guides to those Aspen Comics franchises. Love these reviews? It’d be great if you picked up a copy. Hate these reviews? Find out what this guy thinks is so freakin’ great. There’s free sample chapters too, and all proceeds to towards the care and maintenance of his kids … oh, and to buy comic books, of course. There’s also a bunch of great stuff — fantasy, superhero stuff, magical realism and more — available from this writer on Amazon. What are you waiting for? Go buy a freakin’ book already!

Got a comic you think should be reviewed in The Buy Pile? If we get a PDF of a fairly normal length comic (i.e. “less than 64 pages”) by no later than 24 hours before the actual issue arrives in stores (and sorry, we can only review comics people can go to stores and buy), we guarantee the work will get reviewed, if remembered. Physical comics? Geddouttahere. Too much drama to store with diminishing resources. If you send it in more than two days before comics come out, the possibility of it being forgotten increases exponentially. Oh, you should use the contact form as the CBR email address hasn’t been regularly checked since George W. Bush was in office. Sorry!

The post The Buy Pile: Bad People & Bad Decisions Make For Good Comics appeared first on CBR.com.

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