#there was a future that wanted me in it
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my laptop is running out of battery
#bright colors#neon colors#tw bright colors#eyestrain#eyestrain tw#tw eyestrain#eyesore#ribs warning#underweight tw#bones#nosebleed#mouth bleed#trying to find myself#god im in so much pain#not to vent in tags but#im just scared. so scared#all the time#about whether i suck or if this was even worth it#i drag my body on#hoping#praying#that maybe#just maybe#there was a future that wanted me in it#i feel rejected by life#yet i claw desperately at its legs#salivating for the treat of happiness#it dangles over its head#do not tease dogs#it is cruel.
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month
#shush jesse#EDIT from future me: this post was about astarion but im fully a galegirl (gendy neutch) now so idk what that says#he's also my type for what its worth#this post abt astarion#hes just so painfully on brand for me#i know so little about him though is the thing but i still feel insane#but i cant play the game and i dont want to watch anyone play it and i dont want spoilers#so like.....secondhand blorbo right now
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dont forget what happened to icarus
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#my art#guhh cat#i like ford the most in this 1 .i struggled hard w fiddleford but thts OKAAAYYYY :thumbs up:#also idk if it translates well at all but i wanted to include stanleys brand.fresh off the press 📣#i do want to come back to this at some point and touch it up . future me w the future ability 2 execute this how i wanted hmmm#but im j happy to have smt i want to draw again LAWLL#gf art is incredibly embarrassing 4 me to post#like not even ab the show (which is awesome amazing legiterally da best) and i loveee lovee all the other art its like.#i feel like there is a magnifying glass looking in2 my soul.exposed. ths is how roly polies and armadillos feel
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#putting this here in case anyone decides to go looking for more info about my particular guy here#1) soccer player 2) gay 3) started for italy met and got engaged to his future husband while there and adopted a girl#4) ends up spending the rest of his life in germany bc he got traded but he WAS able to get gay married there#because it's legal in germany and not italy. ENGAGED FOR LIKE 15 YEARS BTW!!!!!#5) husband dies at 110 and then my guy dies 7 years later also at the age of 110#6) I don't want to start a new life in the game because I played as him for hours and don't have the heart to wipe the slate clean#yusuf yacob you will always be famous. to me. sorry for making your penis injury gain interest#and sorry your mother died after being charged by a hippo
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I LOVE AU'S!!! i might have gotten a little carried away though ;;;
alt versions under the cut! including a version with the translated ciphers ^^
#i get embarrassed tagging people directly#handyman bill#which belongs to losanpostle and waty_mot on twt!#mr bill pines au#which belongs to honeqqu on twt#evil ford au#which belongs to petrisolaris on twt#also my own portal 2 au which i may or may not expand upon in the future#werewolf ford belongs to chenniedol on tet#*twt#if anyone wants me to tag directly i will edit and do so#i just dont want to be annoying in peoples' notifications#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#frilliam#ive nevrr drawn an axolotl before they are so silly#gravity falls#gf#my art#the pines are hispanic bc i say so
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Read Lost Legends again recently and I can’t stop thinking about them (tears rolling down my cheeks
#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#they make me want to rip my hair out man#just kidding I’m zen I am at peace with their future#fanart#my art
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i need 7+ seasons of dead boy detectives specifically to see the long-term payoff of charles putting a jar of bees in his bag
#one day years from now he’s gonna pull it out and use it to solve a case or save somebody’s life#i need to see that payoff#and i need it to be long term#i need it to be so far in the future that everyone will have forgotten about that random little detail from the pilot#until it finally comes full circle#this show makes me insane#i want more of it so bad#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbda#charles rowland
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To me, what is so fantastic about One Piece Fan Letter is the emphasis on the way the Straw Hats have created these connections in the lives of people they have never met. The ending scene, with all the hands putting together the puzzle pieces, and the way that all these connections came together in one dazzling way-- I loved that. I teared up at that. Wherever the Straw Hats go, they leave behind all of these puzzle pieces for people to put together and create bonds that would not have existed had the Straw Hats not shown up!
And it also just... Makes me so in love with the concept of the world after Luffy becomes King of The Pirates. I know that Oda has the final chapter planned in his head, and I doubt we will really see the long lasting effects of Luffy achieving the title of Pirate King + his dream, and I really do not want a sequel series ala Boruto or Yasahime, but.... I want to see a world in which children believe they can become a Brave Warrior of the Sea thanks to Usopp, I want to see more children look at Nami and realize they don't NEED to have a Devil Fruit or Haki or muscles to have adventures. I want to see the next generation of the One Piece world believe so strongly in their dreams, that they set out to accomplish them.
One Piece Fan Letter really opened the door, I think, for more and more stories about the "regular" people in the world of One Piece, the people you don't see in the arcs because they're the nondescript background characters, and how the Straw Hat Crew has changed them. And I want that. To me, that is fantastic.
#can you tell i really really love one piece fan letter?????#it was such a fantastic and amazing episode and i kinda want to see more of these types of specials in the future#show me citizens of dressrosa and how they're affected or a family from alabasta who had children on opposite sides of the conflict or--#idk just show me more of how the straw hats change the world around them#give me fanfic of this stuff too!!!!!!#gah im just so in love#one piece#one piece fan letter
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DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir
#neilperryedit#dpsedit#deadpoetssocietyedit#neil perry#dps#dead poets society#tuserkaren#mialook#useraish#dailyflicks#neil perry makes me sob every goddamn time#especially when he says i'm trapped with this laugh but then it fades and his smile drops and your heart just breaks#bc look how excited he was to act in the beginning#he's got a dream and he's so determined to go after it#but the reality of the situation is he's trapped#and then at the end with his i was good i was really good#bc he was ! he puts his whole heart out there#and his father just stomped on it because he doesn't see neil for who he really is and forces him to conform to whatever he wants for neil#and just ahhhhh#i don't know even know how to it put into words#it's the transition from future to present to past#*mine#*mygifs
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monologue
#they said i couldnt have a worse speech bubbles to image ratio and i said 'bet?'#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#two hats spoilers#isat#lucabyteart#sifloop#not rlly but it gets the tag in case ppl r backscrolling my tags on my blog for some reason#anyway this dialogue has been kicking around in my files for about 2 months as it is known to do & i wanted to play with typesetting#'write a fic if you like words so much' absolutely not . what if it was pictures instead. and also i wanted an excuse 2 loop gradient#but yeah uhhhh this is very . very loosely the result of me thinking about the 'island is trapped in the fucking future' theory.#like if so. would it just like. reappear. when the rest of the world catches up w where it was stuck in time. like . 20 more years on.#and thus the q: god wait at what point would sif be older than the age they last knew their parents to be. theyre nearly 30 now so like.#you can see my logical path thru these thoughts yes? anyway i think its fun when these two put their braincells together to realise#the horrors. and kind of exclusively the horrors. wahoo!!!#anyway food for thought re: island reappears and to the islanders it's not been any time at all. but its been like 30 years for the rest#fuck do you do: your boy returns 30 years older plus a family (maybe even a child) and minus . a fucking eye.#also theres a fucking angel with them? update. thats also your boy what the fuck. wait fym theyre married. hold on. wait--
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Billy’s first instinct in his new body was to immediately scream out for his brother—
#HIS FIRST WORD WAS ‘TOMMY?!’#and if i cry#and if i never stop crying#AND IF WHEN WE GET TO TOMMY IN THE NEXT SERIES AND HE WAKES UP SCREAMING BILLY’S NAME WHAT THEN#I WILL BE A PUDDLE DAMMIT#I WANT TO SEE THE PARALLEL#SOMEONE TAKE ME INTO THE FUTURE NOW#billy maximoff#tommy maximoff#wanda maximoff#vision mcu#wandavision#agatha all along#agatha harkness#wiccan and speed
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AT THE CONCERT
#thank u my friend who gave me 60$ so i can get a pangolin#and also let me draw their ocs for a scene i wanted 2 do#cephis art#splatoon#splatoon art#grand festival#splatoon 3#grandfest splatoon#past vs present vs future
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#WIP#art#vampire hunter d#vhd#Sorry I realize I've neglected the folks that only follow me on tumblr for a while !! 😭😭😭#mmm and sorry to anyone who follows me in different places y'all are probably sick of it (updated at least...)😭😭😭 forgive me 🥹🫶👐#Sorry I tend to focus on one social media at a time -I post the most liberally on my instagram's close friends#.... anyone is free to join it actually just send me a message there if you want ♡ (๑´• ᵕ •ू`๑)#I do want to make drawings that make people think more deeply - to give D the depth that Kikuchi doesn't allow us hahaha#Mmm.... I like some D jesus allegory 🤤 It kinda works if you think about it#then again stress turns me into a perv🌝 so don't have high hopes for the future - school oughhhh school....#Also I enjoy seeing strangers going like “husband” or what not - you're not oomf??? Who are you 😭😭😭#DW btw I actually really don't care LOL I just think it's funny#I'd rather that then be haunted by private quotes - there's 1 private quote on my Damned D and gosh I'm so curious😭🌝#Also I'm back in school it's my final year and I only got fall semester for my entire senior thesis so I won't be able to post as much..oug
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iwtv ships + book quotes
#iwtvedit#iwtv#interview with the vampire#loumand#loustat#danstat#lesmand#armandaniel#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#armand#daniel molloy#I KNOW that not all these make sense out of the context of the books#and i'm only three books in there may be Juicier Quotes later but i'm working with what i've got so far#also many of these are edited for brevity or tying together two sentences from opposite sides of a paragraph#let me cook!!!!! they're all direct quotes just lightly arranged for impact#basically my point is: vampire polycule REAL!!!!!!#they're all in love with one another. wanting and inviting one another. planning and imagining futures together.
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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