#there was a death in the family (I didn't know the person well but it affected my parents/grandparents/uncles a lot)

[operationladybug]

Post for @mariandhamza ❤️🙏

"My name is Alaa, I am a Palestinian mother of two children: Maria and Hamza, as well as a wife and daughter... After 7th of October, my life turned upside down due to the war on Gaza. On the night of October 28th, the neighborhood we lived in Gaza – the neighborhood where my children grew up and where we started our family – was completely bombed... That night, my children and I witnessed unimaginable things – from casualties to bloodshed and bodies.

The suffering didn't end there. We fled... As evening approached, the bombing intensified in the area... We lost our ability to see clearly and had difficulty breathing, so I had to put wet masks on my children's faces in a desperate attempt to protect them. Their screams and fear didn't stop. I didn't know if we would survive. I held them close, trying to calm them, while sadness crushed my heart...

Eventually, we were forced to flee to the south... Rafah was overcrowded with displaced people, and we could only find a small tent lacking the necessities of life. My children suffered from epidemics and skin diseases caused by the pollution in the camp. Unfortunately, my little daughter Maria was infected with viral hepatitis due to the shared bathrooms in the camp. After miraculously escaping death with my children, I realized there was no safe haven in Gaza. With multiple displacements, we faced the harsh reality of lacking basics like water, food, and medicine, and the inability even to perform basic activities like bathing, eating, or accessing clean water.

We lost everything: our home, our jobs, our dreams. My biggest worry is for Hamza and Maria, their future is uncertain. Where will they live, study, and grow up? Gaza offers little hope now, as the essentials of life are being destroyed. My children's future seems bleak, overshadowed by uncertainty.

Today, I ask for your help. I ask for support for me and my children to recover from the traumas of the war we experienced. To have a new warm home for my family, to help my children go to school and get decent education, and to assist us in starting our lives anew. To live from the beginning once again. Your support is our hope and our future for a new chance in life for my children. Thank you for being a part of restoring hope and stability in our lives."

DONATE, REBLOG SHARE.

If you have the spare cash, which I know many of you do, please take the time to donate even a small amount to this struggling family. Imagine what you would want you to do if you were in this situation, and whatever it is, do it.

Reblog, add this post to your queue a couple of times, and share to your personal and friendly Discord servers.

We are all counting on your action.

[the-froschamethyst4]

“We can’t keep him”

𖤐Pairing: Ghost x F! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: Fluff, angst, language, cowboy! Ghost, children, married couple, kissing, harsh background, mention of abuse, mention of a miscarriage and infidelity, happy ending (I promise),

𖤐Summary: Y/n has a family member that has been in the hospital for some time and this was the first time she sees them and finds about their secret child and brings them home to Ghost

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Y/n Riley, a gentle and kind woman who's done no wrong in her life, but she's here at the hospital after being told her cousin was in the hospital after a fatal car accident, Y/n hasn't gone to see him in the 3 weeks she was notified, she was either busy or didn't want to see the person she called family all torn and beat up.

She stood in the doorway of the hospital room and saw her cousin, he was barely holding on, she couldn't even recognize him. She excused herself and heads to the small courtyard, tears running down her face, fists curled and pushed into her eyes wishing she didn't see what she just saw.

As she sat on the bench, she looks down at her feet, as tears land on her thighs.

"You stay here," a woman who sounded angry pushed a young boy on the bench Y/n was on, and she walked off. Y/n was still sniffling but wiped the tears from her face.

"Why are you crying?" The boy asked.

"What happened to your face?" Y/n tried to change the question. The boy has a bruised eye, a busted lip and some dried blood under his nose.

"Nothing," he says.

"Then I'm not crying," she says.

"My dad's here," he says.

"Oh yeah? What happened?"

"Car accident..."

"Car...accident?"

"Yeah," he says, wiping under his nose.

"W-What's his name?" She was scared for the answer.

"Martin L/n."

"Fuck..." Y/n then looks at the ground leaning back on the bench, she then turns to look at the boy. "How...old are you?"

"12," he says.

"Martin," she groans leaning back. "What about your name?"

"Silas."

"Who...who was that woman? Your mom?"

"No, definitely not," he says. "She's my caseworker."

"Caseworker? Something wrong?"

"...Guess you don't know anything about him."

"What did he do?" Now she curious but is also rightfully pissed off at Martin. He was usually a nice and caring man, why does his son have a caseworker?

"He-"

"Silas! Come on, you have to see him." His caseworker yells from the door. Silas doesn't say anything and gets off the bench and heads to the door.

Y/n takes a deep breath and walks to the door as well, going back to the room.

"Who are you? Why are you in here?" The caseworker says.

"Martin is my cousin," Y/n said.

"O-Oh," she doubles down.

"Can he have some privacy to say goodbye?" Y/n looks at the doctor.

"I mean we would but we have a policy that doesn't allow us to leave the room-"

"Your policy is shit and his son should be allowed to say his goodbye, without a doctor or caseworker around," Y/n says. The doctor just nods and motions the caseworker to also leave.

Silas looks at Y/n and then back at his dad on his death bed. Silas plays with his fingers and then looks back at him again.

"You suck as a father..." well that stunned Y/n. "Beat me, left me at school too many times then I can count, left me with that bitch of a caseworker...I hope you rot in hell, and if there's a hell on Earth, I'm already on it," he turns and walks out of the hospital room, Y/n could hear his caseworker call after him.

"Martin...I've don't know what you've done to that poor boy, but you...I'm glad you're leaving, I don't know what you've been doing for the past 6 years, but I know...you deserved this...I loved you, my cousin, but I hate you," Y/n grabbed her purse and walks out of the room, going to her car and starting it up, not before hitting her wheel and screaming out of anger.

--------------

Going home to her husband, Ghost, he sat on the front porch watching her walk up the stairs like she was tired and her eyes were red and puffy, and Ghost opened his arms for her to sit on his lap and she snuggled to his chest.

"Guessing it didn't go that well?"

"He has a son, Si."

"A son? Since when?"

"12 years. He's had a son for 12 years and didn't say anything to anyone, no one knew...he must have hurt that boy for too long."

"Why do you say that?"

"He has a caseworker, Si, no child has a caseworker unless something has happened to that child."

"What's the kid's name?"

"Silas...he's 12...and all I know from what he said to Martin as a good bye was that he basically hates him...and I do too, Si, Martin lied to us, he was never kind or gentle, he was monster behind closed doors."

Ghost held Y/n close and kissed her temple, he rocks back and forth on the rocking chair sitting on the front porch, the silent rain hitting the top of the roof and on the ground.

-----------------

It's been a week now, Y/n washing dishes as Ghost was getting back from feeding the cows, when he sees a truck pull into the driveway, he kept his composure hands on his belt as he watched the Sheriff come out of the truck.

"Evening Sheriff."

"Evening Ghost, I have something."

"What is it?"

"Not what, who."

"Y/N!!" Ghost yells from outside, Y/n stopped what she was doing drying her hands and coming outside.

"Yes?" She opens her door and sees Silas being held by the hoodie by the Sheriff. "Silas?"

"So you know him."

"Yeah...I do...he's my cousins son. I met him a few weeks ago." The Sheriff released Silas and he went to the tailgate of the truck.

"What did he do?" She asked.

"Stealing."

"Where's his caseworker?"

"Said he didn't want to call her, and said you're his legal guardian." He says. Y/n looks at Silas and takes a deep breath.

"We don't have kids, Sheriff." Ghost says.

"Si...can I have a word with my husband?" Y/n pulls Ghost to the front porch.

"So, that's Silas."

"Yeah...Simon, he doesn't have a home...his only family just died, and if they call his caseworker, he'll go to Foster care."

"Love, it's for the best he goes-"

"No, Simon...you've been in his position before," she taps her fingers into his chest.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" She knew what she was doing.

"We can't...keep him, we know nothing on what a child needs."

"I know he needs a home, right now, parents to take care of him."

"What about his mom?"

"Doesn't know her."

Ghost then takes a deep breath as he looks at Silas swing his feet back and forth on the tailgate and then looks back down at his wife.

"If he stays here, he works," Ghost says.

"Fine, he could use some muscle on him anyways," Y/n walks off the porch and walks to the tailgate where Silas was. "You can stay...if you stay here you work on the farm with my husband, don't worry he's not as bad as he may seems."

The Sheriff had took off a while ago leaving Silas in the care of Y/n and Ghost. Ghost sees Silas at the porch, he seemed like he was going to follow Y/n into the house but stopped him from going in.

"Where you going?" Ghost asked.

"Inside, I'm cold," he says.

"Not just yet, I still haven't fed the pigs, yet, you get to help me with them, and from then on the pigs will now be your responsibility."

"Pigs? Yeah, okay-what I get to move up from the pigs whenever you tell me to?"

"You catch up quick, get your ass moving," Ghost says, showing Silas where he has to go.

Silas goes first walking to the pig pin, Ghost opens the gate and sends Silas inside.

"Grab that bucket. Fill it with slop."

"Slop?"

"That shit right there. It's kitchen scraps, rotten fruit and vegetables," Silas removed the lid on top of the bucket of slop, Silas gags at the smell and puts the bucket inside the slop and scooped out a full bucket full.

Silas continues to gag as he walks to the pigs that crowded around his feet, making him hard to walk around them.

"Push them."

"Push them? They're heavier than me," Silas says.

"Push them," Ghost repeats. Silas used his knee to push the pigs away so he could get to their bowl to dumb everything into it. Once he gets to the bowl and pours everything in, he drops the bucket and goes to the gate where Ghost was.

"Ah, who said you're done?"

"What?"

"You gonna wash Bessy over there."

"Bessy?" Bessy was a big Vietnamese pot-bellied pig. Ghost told Silas that she's probably had about 6 different liters and won 7 blue ribbons at the county fair, she is a force to reckon with, and gets the most dirty out of all the other pigs in the pin.

Silas grabs the hose from the side of the pin turning the water on and spraying Bessy with it, but what Ghost didn't tell Silas was that Bessy hates water and you basically gotta run after her and trap her to wash her.

Silas ran around the pin trying to block Bessy from running, Ghost just laughs at him, Silas then tackles the pig and ended up taking Bessy down with him, he curses and grabs the hose to wash Bessy.

"What the hell is going on? I called for dinner 5 minutes ago!" Y/n says, marching to her husband and Silas. She sees Silas all mudding and dirty, he kind of looks embarrassed to have Y/n looking at him like this.

Y/n slaps Ghost's arm, who wasn't fazed by her smack, but did look at her.

"Why is he in there with them?"

"Cause I didn't get to feed them, so he's doing it, he's now in charge of them."

"Silas, come on, go inside and clean up, dinner is ready." She says, looking annoyed at Simon. Silas walks out of the pin kicking his shoes off at the front door not wanting to trudge mug into the nice and clean house.

"Simon-"

"He's a boy, he's going to get dirty, weather he likes it or not, and the deal was, he lives here, he works here."

"I know that but-"

"But nothing, there is no but," he says. "Come on...thought dinner was ready?"

---------------

Silas took a nice hot shower, coming down in clothes Y/n could find for him, some old sweatpants and an old t-shirt.

"Thanks."

"Sorry, I didn't have any clothes to fit you, we can go shopping tomorrow, or do you have clothes back at your home?"

"I need new ones..." he picks at the food not wanting to talk more and Y/n didn't push him, but Ghost just stares at the boy and then at his wife, he sees how similar they look, same hair color, those same colored eyes, but Silas was more quiet, rebellious. Y/n gentle, can be stubborn, and a pain in Simon's ass sometimes.

"I need him around the farm tomorrow," Ghost jumps in and looks down at his dinner eating it.

"You have help. Thought Soap, Price and Alejandro were coming?"

"They are-"

"Then you can wait, it won't take long, he needing new things is a bit more important," Silas looks at the couple talking, he leans back into the chair not eating, it caught Ghost's attention.

"Eat kid," he says.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

"Why?" He pushes.

"Simon, enough...you don't have to if you don't want to...or if you want...we can eat in silence, no more talking about anything," she says, looking at Silas. Silas has never gotten that look before, it was the look of someone who cared, and not angry, Ghost wasn't angry nor annoyed, he's just not use to someone else in his home let alone a kid he's now responsible for.

They ate in silence like Y/n said, Silas had finished first and was excuse to walk around the house and explore if he wanted to. He stumbles upon a room, pushing the door open and seeing it was a nursery. Why would there be a nursery in the house with no kids but him?

He looks around the room was filled with pink things, the walls painted a soft pink color, he looks around when seeing the name 'Luna' on the wall.

"We were going to have a baby at some point," Ghost says, making Silas jump.

"I-I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine kid..." Ghost comes in slightly closing the door behind him. "My wife was pregnant a while back," he walks to the empty crib in the middle of the room.

"She had a miscarriage around 6 months...she has every right to be more upset than me, we've just kept this room shut and off limits, she was scared to remove everything, so we've left the room alone...we tried for another baby a while back but...my wife...she can't get pregnant..." he looks down at Silas. "Promise me, kid...you act and treat her like a mother, she's doing you a favor by staying here with us, she could told that Sheriff to take you to your caseworker, so be fucking glade," he says.

Silas nods and leaves the room. As Silas leaves and continues down the hall he sees another door opened and Y/n was inside setting up the bed for him.

"Oh, here, you'll be staying in the guest bedroom," she says. She leaves him alone in the bedroom as she makes her way down the hall and sees Simon coming out of the nursery, Y/n's heart clenched in her chest as she looks at him.

"He was in here."

"Oh." She looks at the door at the end of the hall slowly closing. Y/n looks up at Simon and felt tears in her eyes when she thinks about her baby. Simon knew what was coming and picked her up and taking her to their bedroom.

------------------

Silas woke up to a chicken near his window pecking at the glass and then hears the door creak open.

"Get up, Kid," Ghost says. Silas groans and sits up looking at Ghost in his doorway.

"Thought I was going shopping?" He says.

"Oh you are," Y/n pops her head in. "Simon is just being an asshole."

"Am not, we're up, so he can be up-"

"He can sleep in if he wants to," Y/n shuts the door and pulls Simon away from his door. "You have to leave him alone, he's a child, coming from a rough home already, he doesn't need you in his face or business all the time."

"Love-"

"Don't 'love' me, he's just a kid, you also have friends coming to work with you, you can wait till he gets back." She says, pushing him out of the hallway and onto the first stair.

"Sorry to interrupt but...I have no clothes," Silas calls from the end of the hall.

"I'll get you some," Y/n gives him a smile and then a quick glare at her husband, pushing past him and going to look for more clothes.

She brings up a t-shirt and some jeans. "I think the jeans might be a little big on you," he comes out of the bedroom and Y/n was right. She bends down on to roll up the pant legs and made them look good, then with a thud next to her, there were some old cowboy boots, Simon had found.

"Si."

"Found those in storage," he says. "Unroll that boys pants, he'll look stupid with his jeans tucked in." Y/n rolls her eyes and fixed them how they were before, once Silas got his boots on and put the jeans over the boots, he looked good.

"There," Y/n says. "Perfect, now, come on, let's go see what we can get ya'."

"The boy doesn't need more then 5 shirt, 4 jeans, 12 underwear and 15 pairs of socks." Simon says from the front porch.

"Why so many underwear?" Silas asks from the front seat.

"Because I said so," Simon says.

"I'll get him as much shit as I want to," Y/n says, pulling out of the driveway.

"You two got a kid now?" Soap asked from sitting on top of his horse.

"He's part of Y/n's family, so, I made a deal saying if he stays here, he works here, he doesn't have any clothes, so they're going, he'll be back to take care of the pigs."

-------------

"How do those feel?" Y/n asked, while she held shirts, and pants, in her arms, she looks down at Silas who was feeling around for his toe.

"They're tight."

"You're not use to them yet," she says. "Do you like them?"

"Yeah," Silas had picked out two pair of boots, a real fancy pair that he promised Y/n he won't wear out in the field but if they go somewhere fancy, then a pair that he'll be using in the pig pin.

"Alright, let's go pay," putting everything on the counter and Y/n paid, Silas looks around the store, seeing some belts, he doesn't have any, but Ghost's black leather belt was on Silas' mind.

He finds one, almost similar to Ghost's belt, he takes it off the rack and goes to the counter.

"And this," he says.

"A belt?"

"I don't have one..." Silas says.

"True alright."

"You want a buckle one it, son?" The old man ringing them out says. Silas looks at the glass case and sees the wide range of buckles.

"That one." Pointing to the one that just a long horn on it.

"Sure." Y/n smiles at Silas as she pays for everything.

-------------

"Don't let, Simon get under your skin, Silas. He's just not use to a kid being in the house."

"Is he always grumpy?"

"Yeah, just about."

"How'd you even marry someone like him?"

Y/n giggles. "He wasn't always like that," she says.

"He was nice?" Silas sounded shocked.

"He still is." She says, laughing.

"Nah, no, I haven't seen him been nice yet."

"It'll take him a while, Silas, it won't happen instantly."

-----------------

When getting home Silas sees the guys reangling up some cows, he looks at them and walks to the fence, sitting on it and watching them.

"Silas," Simon then points to the pigs. Without a fight Silas gets to the pigs, but he could still watch them.

Y/n walks to the pin and watches Silas, dumping the slop in the bowl and grabbing the hose for Bessy, Silas just knows he's going to hate doing this. He chases Bessy in the pin, she squeals loudly as Silas chases the pig, the guys all stopped to watch watch Silas, they either cheered for Silas or for Bessy.

Silas then tackles Bessy like last time taking her down and starts hosing her off. The guys all cheered and Silas felt slightly embarrassed but then felt great that he was getting cheers from the guys.

He looks at Y/n as she just gives him a soft smile.

"Come on, back to work," Ghost says.

------------

Silas helped Y/n in the kitchen, cleaning, washing dishes and then making dinner for them once Ghost was done with the chores around the farm.

Silas had looked outside seeing Ghost coming up to the house, he keeps washing the dishes as Y/n puts everything down to go to the front door and wait for Ghost to open the door. Once he did kicking his boots off at the front, his arms went around her waist and holds her tightly.

Silas watched them, he knew these two were a happy couple, and they were like every other couple, getting into fights and then making up, he watched how Ghost was gentle with her.

"What's for dinner?" Ghost asked looking at Silas and then down at his wife.

"Chicken and mash potatoes," she says. "Something simple."

"What clothes did you get," Ghost asked, looking at Silas.

Silas without another word went to the room he was staying in and brought down the bags. Ghost starts looking through them and pulled some of the shirts out along with some jeans.

"New belt?"

"Yeah, I need one."

"Looks like mine," he says.

"Yeah," Silas looks down and Ghost just smiles a little.

"Fine, looks good, more shirt then I said," he says, looking at Y/n who's back was turned to him.

"I'm allowed to get him as many shirts as he wants," she says.

"New boots, I saw," he says.

"And?" He doesn't say anything, knowing what he might say, she'll give him attitude and make a good point. "That's what I thought," she says. "Anyways, dinner is ready."

----------------

Silas and Ghost sat on the front porch together, it was silent for a long time but soon Ghost started talking.

"So, kid...how was your relationship with your dad?" He asked, he was blunt, and Silas learned that already.

"Not that great, I guess," he says.

"You guess?"

"My dad did drugs...chose drugs and women over his own kid, yet, I don't know my mother, if I knew my mother...I don't think I'd be here with you two, and there is no telling how crazy she is!" Silas says, leaning back in the rocking chair.

"That's like my dad...my mom was my...hero, I guess, she stood up for me all the time, my dad did drug and was an alcoholic...I never had a good relationship with him..."

"What happened to them?"

"My mom passed away from a heart attack, and my dad overdosed on fentanyl and my brother Tommy died from drugs as well...it's just me..."

"How'd you meet, Y/n?"

"Y/n," when Ghost said her name he smiled and looked at the night sky and bright stars. "She is my fucking world, even though he 'get into fights' she is my everything, I will do anything and everything for her...I met her by a friend of mine, Soap, he showed a photo of her to me because he said 'I needed to get out there' and he set up a blind date for us...we hit it off and got married to each other in 6 months."

"6 months?!"

"Yeah...crazy," he says, chuckling. It stayed silent again till Silas spoke.

"...Am I staying here?" He asked Ghost. Ghost took a deep breath and sighed.

"It's up to Y/n...you said she's your guardian...that's more up to Y/n then me," he says.

"And he is," Y/n came out of the house, she sits on the arm of Ghost's rocking chair, his arm wrapped around her waist and resting on her hip. "You will stay here...I don't want you going off to Foster care and not know anything about your family. I'm your family now, Simon is your family now..." she cups his chin getting him to look at her. "And I sure as hell will do everything in my power to keep you here, no one will come and take you from us, do you understand?" Silas nods his head.

"If you also stay here, we've got some ground rules for you," Ghost says.

"Like what?"

"One is no stealing, if you get caught again, we're not coming to get you," Ghost says.

"He is right, I don't want to see your mug anywhere," Y/n said.

"Got it."

"You work till I say you're done, you may have the pigs as a responsibility but you also have the goats, sheep and chickens, you pull your weight around here."

As Ghost talks with Silas about the ground rules, Y/n had gotten up and left them to keep talking. Ghost seemed to make a new best friend and Silas knows what love feels like now.

[httpskuzuu]

L”m so happy your back! I would like a request a yandere! Pm Dazai (18 yrs old) with a darling who’s naïve and innocent (of course he kidnaps them) how would he react to a such pure person! Thank you for taking this request.

Yandere!PM!Dazai with a naive and innocent reader

This is the first time I write for PM!Dazai (and I do headcanons), don't kill me

Yandere!PM!Dazai x Reader

Idk english, I don't like english, let me

summary: the title :D

tw: kidnapping, corruption of innocence, stalking, death (not reader or Dazai), physical and psychological abuse, maybe something else but idk

Honestly, I don't know how you got into this situation.

I can only think of two options as to how you ended up getting his attention: Dazai was looking for someone like you or you just surprised him.

With the first option, I guess he wanted to get away momentarily from everything he had known in his life, get someone who wasn't as fucked up as he was.

Or you just came unexpectedly into his life, maybe you got involved in one of his missions without having any idea.

Either way, Dazai was dazzled by your innocence.

You are the opposite of him and he wants to keep it that way, he knows what this world is capable of doing to pure souls like yours and he is not going to allow that.

First he won your trust, it was easy, you trusted everyone too fast, you didn't even doubt him in spite of his strange attitude that didn't let you see beyond him.

You never realized the danger in front of your eyes and that only made Dazai adore you more.

He would know every little part of your life, the names of all your friends and the places you go to, he always has an eye on you.

He would keep your friends and family away from you, he's not afraid to kill, threaten or torture others for that purpose.

Deep down, all he wants to do is to corrupt you.

He wants to be the one to destroy your innocence, to show you the cruelty of the world, even if it is contradictory to his initial purpose.

Maybe that's the reason he kidnapped you.

And oh god, that's when the real fun begins.

He doesn't care about your opinion, not in the slightest, and punishments are just around the corner.

Forced affection would be a normal thing, he sees you as a kind of safe place where he can be a bit more vulnerable, just a bit 🤏

Still, I doubt he would ever let you see his true feelings.

That would only be way down the road in your relationship, when Dazai can have complete confidence that you'll never escape.

Yandere!Dazai is not easy, least of all if he's PM Dazai, but your attitude would make it somewhat more tolerable.

Being such a naive little thing, he can trust you more easily.

Plus you're terrified of him, so you don't even think about running away.

But if you were to try… Well, remember what I said about punishments being just around the corner? Then get ready for torture.

Breaking bones, beating you unconscious, isolating you for days, starving and thirsting you, etc.

Although he usually mistreats you as well, it's all more psychological.

He wants to make you see the evil, to see you break and cry.

Makes him have a mix between sadistic joy and regret.

He really feels very guilty for everything he does, for seeing you in such a broken state.

He would never tell you, the closest you get to that would be a strangely silent Dazai cuddling like a koala bear to you.

I hope you have enough mental stamina to endure your stay with Dazai

Oh, and if he sees that he's broken you until there's nothing left of the original you or that all your innocence is gone, maybe he'll kill you because he's bored 😀

The image of your friend would not leave your head. He was immobile, cold, dead.

It was the first time you saw a corpse in real life, it made your blood run cold. Especially because you saw him die and you couldn't do anything about it.

Dazai killed him, after many hours of torture, one shot in his head and his screams stopped. You saw the blood spill on the floor along with pieces of flesh. You did not vomit because of the absence of food in your stomach, but the nausea was there.

He wouldn't let you take your eyes off him, even when he was torturing him. When his fingernails were being pulled out and his skin was burning. You had to keep watching or the torture would transfer to you.

You couldn't save him. Your throat was torn from screaming, but he was still dead. Would his corpse still be in that dark warehouse? Would that be his grave? At least you would have liked to have been able to give him a proper funeral, not abandon him.

You didn't understand how someone could be as evil as Dazai was. Your friend did nothing, he just worried about your disappearance. Now, because of you, he too would become a missing person.

The tears were still wet when an extra weight was placed on the bed. You refused to move, afraid that he would take you back to continue seeing those horrible things, things you can't even describe without breaking down in tears.

He lies behind you and wraps his arms around you, his hands that caused so many murders gently holding your body.

You never thought before that the perpetrators of these acts could be ordinary people, people you would trust and befriend. But they could be, the proof of that was Dazai, someone too young to be killing.

You are conflicted by the situation, you empathize with Dazai. You want to understand him and know what led him to be the way he is today, try to justify him, but he killed your friend. The dilemma of whether he deserved a forgiveness eats at you inside. Could his actions be justified by his past? Maybe Dazai is just a victim like you.

Be that as it may, apparently you still have time to think because he doesn't plan to let you go anytime soon.

I am sleep deprived

[saphirafoxgirlspost1]

(Open Rp) The Forbidden Kingdom in "The Monkey King and The Sakutopian Fox Princess"

It all Started At the Court of Sakutopia, Princess Saphira Stood there all angry and Seething in rage when she sees Her Now "Ex"-fiancé Name "Prince Daniel Jamerson Rooster" Of Shintari and His Lover " Princess Barbra jenna Minx" of Sunchon who are Now Charge of Treason against the Kingdom Of Sakutopia Such as : committed Adultery in Public including In front of Jade Emperor Himself, Murder of Saphira's beloved Daughter For a ridiculous Mysogonistic reasons, Domestic Violence against the princess Of Sakutopia which cause of her Unborn daughter Died a Stillborn, and Worst of them all Is made a huge Insult of her family by Planning to Make a fake marriage and attempt to steal the Male heir and running away with his mistress.. That Made Saphira Angered and Now She's going to Let them Know that She's Not the Person to be Screwing off with, Then Saphira Said in cold tone,

Saphira: "Prince Rooster, I Find you Guilty of many charges along with your Filthy mistress of yours. You Lied to Me, You Cheated on me, Betray me, Abused me, Killed Your own flesh and Blood for Stupid Sexist reason! and Now Making a Huge Mockery and Humiliated me Publicly by Making love with that Skank right in front of everyone in Sakutopia including the Honorable Guest The Jade Emperor Of Sky Palace! How Could you be so.. So.. EVIL!? What do you have to say For Yourself?"

Prince Daniel: "Saphira Please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to let this happen, you know I love you."

Then Saphira Snapped at him and Pointed finger at Daniel,

Saphira: "LIAR!! You Big Fat Fucking Liar!! You never love me, you only love that Minx gal and you attempt to make a fool out of ME and Killed your own flesh and blood! You'll never be called a father again when I'm through with you! I find you guilty and I sentence you to Exile and as For Barbra Minx Hense her sentence shall be DEATH! Guards Off with her head!"

Saphira commanded the guards..and beheaded Barbra minx..as Daniel screams in tears..and he said,

Prince Daniel: " Saph.. How-"

Saph: "Save it Daniel.. An Eye For an Eye Daniel, Life for a Life.. You took my daughter's life and Now.. I took Your filthy Mistress life as a Price that you Murdered my daughter!… As Punishment.. You will be sterilized so that no children ever going to be Born with such a horrible Father like you! And after that.. You are Hearby Exile from my Kingdom and Yours as well! And I don't want to see your Bald, lying face again! cause if you do.. i'll Have your head on a Pike as an examples to other Cheaters as well!"

After the Royal Court, Daniel got sterilized and went into a walk of shame where everyone in sakutopia throws stones and veggies with anger and called him liar, cheater, traitor, and a baby killer. After that, Daniel got disowned and Exiled from Sakutopia and Shintari Kingdom. Ten Months has passed, Saphira was Depressed so much that she Cried every Night when her tears rain down the village of Sakutopia. Her Father Couldn't bare to See His precious daughter crying in heartbroken, Then he thinks something to make His beloved daughter happy.. he means Happy with someone better than that Traitorous rooster boy but then.. He Looked at the Old books from China that he read stories to his daughter. When he pulls out the One Book that Saphira loved is The "Journey to the west" Story until he Spotted The great sage Known as Sun wukong, the Monkey king himself. In his mind, He thought Sun wukong was a myth and then He decided to go to the Flower fruit mountain to see if anything is true about sun wukong is real.. If he does, then there's a Chance to get His beloved daughter happy. So That Night, he began to travel with his Noble Kirin name "Kahn" and began to ride into the night heading to the Mountain Of Flower and Fruit While wearing a Royal General Samurai Armor, Morning came in as he Made it to the mountain of flower and fruit. Then he began to Journey deep into the jungle of the Flower fruit mountain but suddenly Half way across the Jungle, Somethings golden went passed The Emperor as he began to ready to fight..when he sees the golden staff shine but he reconize the staff as it began to return to the owner near the trees as The emperor realized that this owner is Sun wukong, The Great Sage Equal to heaven as he Bows down on his knee and said,

Emperor: "Oh Great Sage Equal to heaven, Please Forgive me for trespass your Home."

Sun Wukong: "You Speak well Emperor But state your name and purpose of why you came to my Home?"

Emperor: "I am Emperor of Mordue Quin Fox Of Sakutopia, I am here to see you Great sage. You see My Daughter is heartbroken, It's been 10 months since her engagement is called off after She caught Prince Daniel of Shintari kingdom Cheated on her with a princess of Sunchon and Killed Her poor beloved daughter by his abusive hands… I hope this rumor didn't bother you at all.."

Sun Wukong: "Hmmm, So the Rumors are true but what has to do something with me Emperor of Sakutopia?"

Emperor: "Well I was wondering if you want to do the Challenge to Mend my Daughters Brokenheart, I've been telling my daughter a story about you and my people celebrate about you every month in your Honor. She fell in love of hearing stories about you and I decided to give you 4 challenge, if your willing to Great sage."

Sun wukong: Thoughted and then made a genuine smile "Of course, I accept the challenge and If i pass those 4 challenge or tasks, I Shall Marry your beloved daughter and I'll make sure She'll be loved that she deserves and You Shall Unite My Kingdom with yours as a condition of Our Deal"

Emperor: " I grant your Condition Oh great sage, My daughter will be please to see you. Tonight, you'll meet my Daughter at the balcony in my kingdom, I shall escort you immediatly"

After Sun wukong made a nice agreement with the Emperor of this nice challenge and arrange marriage, The Emperor escorted Sun wukong to His kingdom of Sakutopia where everyone saw sun wukong and cheers and bows to him gracefully.. Then that Night, Saphira was at the balcony feeling all sad and Depressed once more.. Tears sheds of Missing her Daughter so much.. Then Sun wukong Saw the Sadden Princess, So he has an idea as he Shapeshift into a beautiful White Bird and Fly to the balcony and landed on the rails of it and said to her…

[lillypad-monopoly]

Wild Life Episode 5 Thoughts

(Except I'm insane about Martyn's ep)

LIFE SERIES TRIVIA is DIABOLICAL! The watchers literally being like "how well do you guys know your pain and suffering?" (also sorry only winners remember theory truthers)

The way Grian and Scar are such bitter ex-soulmates that Mumbo has to point it out is hilarious. (also them getting even and saying "Just like Third Life" hurt my heart)

Grian not remembering iconic moments from his own series is so funny. What do you mean he only knows Martyn beheaded Ren with an axe from fanart? Grian gaining possession of the Red Winter Axe was a whole plot point.

MUMBO FIRST OUT! IN SESSION 5! The canary curse is broken for real now guys but at what cost.

Grian standing on the ruins of the tower by himself going through the five stages of grief over Mumbo's death as the sun rises in the background is a gorgeous piece of fanart waiting to happen

Martyn you didn't need to start the episode by talking about how Ren is providing for you, you're asking for the shipping at this point 🤣

MARTYN YOU DO THE LORE OFC JIMMY AND TANGO WERE OUT FIRST. Also REN YOU WERE LITERALLY IN DOUBLE LIFE. RIP Ren/BigB we know where his true loyalties lie

THE TWO NICKLES MEME BREAKING CONTAINMENT I CAN'T

Ren inviting BigB to join the RenWood Mound alliance WITHOUT REMEMBERING DOUBLE LIFE is so insane I don't even know what to say.

OF COURSE SCAR REMEMBERS THE DESERT DUO FLOWERS I'M GOING TO BE SICK

Martyn and Ren saying they're going to be boat bros. This has been coming since last session but I NEED Joel and Etho to call them out on it

"We're boat boys," MARTYN INTHELITTLEWOOD WHEN I CATCH YOU-

Etho yelling for Bdubs to hit him so they could test if the wildcard affected damage and then Tango going "smack me harder~" in the background was diabolical. Suuuure you guys are all PG.

Etho sitting in a boat for Joel to jump over him feels like some boat boys relationship symbolism I'm not smart enough to explain

So Etho is currently living with team BET, but allied with the Four Gs, and in the family with Gem and Joel. Wildcard Etho is so back!

Of course Impulse immediately remembered the clock question.

Joel boasting about how he immediately knows all the questions is peak Joel form and I would expect nothing less. It is kind of warranted though because everybody else is waffling on the simple ones.

Joel is now two for two on unquestioningly trusting Etho only to have something bad happen to him and not even being mad about it what is wrong with this man 😭

Does Joel have the censor bleep on his keyboard or did he just straight up start swearing at Tango and know they would both have to censor it in post to get the effect that he was also making the noise?

Scott's gone from a creaking fanboy to a body horror situation and I'm living for it (also considering he's agreed to "go wild" this session--am I sensing a Scott corruption arc?)

Scott cutting directly from saying he and Jimmy were never married even though they called each other husbands to a scene WITH Jimmy was kind of an insane choice

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Girldad has been confirmed by Scott as the actual reason for the 4Gs. I still think Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss ImpulseSV is funnier but good to have an official ruling

Scott giving up his life for Pearl and them being good natured about it and calling it therapy! I love them so much!

Lizzie being the only person who's not exicted when a trivia bot spawns is so funny. Even the other players who weren't in all the seasons don't seem to be as miffed by them as she is.

Lizzie's flaming snail arising out of that hole while smiling is potentially the funniest thing I've seen all day. Why did it look like that 🤣

[yumeurl]

harry, draco, and sectumsempra

this is just to write my own interpretation about the scene and what it meant for me before i start another 596765 thread on my twitter gmemgfdg

i know sectumsempra is like, The Drarry Fodder in the book that's already drarry fodder overall; it is to me as well, though taking off my fudan glasses halfway i see it as a symbolism more than anything else

harry and draco have a funny dynamic throughout books 1-5. they regard each other as 'archenemies' according to harry, yet their fights mostly consist of taunts, quidditch or normal wizard duelling. it's rare to see them actually physically harming each other, and in the rare instances that they do, it's ron and hermione who did it (the first year fight and hermione's slap), or if it's harry, it's because draco went too far with his goading and he was at the angriest point of his life.

only one of these did draco actually try to fight back, and it was with ron. throughout the books he has shown to be aversive of physical fights and pain in general, even neville(who was regarded as a loser for so long) trying to attack him he cowers behind his bodyguards.

i think this is one of the few things that enabled him to regret being a DE tbh. while crabbe and goyle never became a fullfledged death eaters, they support voldemort and have this naivety that makes them think casting killing spells or torturing people is just like playing with a toy. draco does not, atleast when reaching this point.

anyways, so draco is typically aversive to fights that truly harm a wizard, and harry does the same thing, atleast to draco. both of them don't really harm each other. all of their spells are fixable, no matter if the reader finds them mean or too much. and in the instances where they go too far (this is mostly draco tbf), they back off and go back to the status quo.

this is schoolyard fighting to them, even in ootp, when voldemort has came back, draco's taunts and motivation doesn't stem from serving him, it's from getting back at Potter. it's their thing, it's constant. both of them know that subconsciously

but sectumsempra is symbolism of this dynamic ending, end of an era if you will. they Can't return to schoolyard fighting, try as they might. draco has to follow voldemort or risk him or his family killed, while harry has to follow dumbledore and kill vodemort.

harry, in his 'finding out what malfoy is up to' thing, operates as if it's a little mystery to solve. it's not That serious at this point. while he had suspicions that whatever draco is doing is DE related, i don't think he knows the true severity of it. why would he? malfoy is a constant, they've duelled many times before and they don't truly hurt each other. alot of the DE damage is outside of hogwarts as well, hogwarts is safe and untouchable.

sectumsempra marks the end of that. not only draco attacks first in a hostile manner, but their spells escalate as it goes on:

Levicorpus -Harry Blocking spell for Levicorpus -Draco unnamed spell that caused the bin behind harry to explode -Draco Leg-Locker Curse -Harry Crucio (incomplete) -Draco Sectumsempra -Harry

(i still think it's highly unlikely that harry heard crucio and retaliates with sectumsempra like what people believe. he didn't even know that the spell would do to fight back with it... but that's for another post)

in just one fight, draco tried to torture harry (regardless if it would've worked or not), harry harmed draco with an unknown dark spell that he doesn't know the counter to, and harry basically finds out that whatever draco's doing where he gloated all about it at the beginning of the year is something that's giving him distress. enough to cry and talk to moaning myrtle of all people

it's different from their constant. malfoy shouldn't cry and he should retain his same spoiled brat personality. harry shouldn't dabble in the dark arts especially when he doesn't really know what it does. it rattled him so much (plus losing all the things he was fixated on this school year all at once, not just finding out what draco's up to) it's enough to make harry stop with his investigation and start a love life gmrgmfdgf

i'm also interested at how harry thinks about draco at the end of the book

He despised Malfoy still for his infatuation with the Dark Arts, but now the tiniest drop of pity mingled with his dislike.

you dislike draco for his 'infatuation with the dark arts'?? not calling your friends insults and slurs?? gmeogmfdg and the word dislike too... but you can tell when he truly hates a person, like snape or even mclaggen. for draco it's just constant to butt heads with him, maybe even fun. voldemort's insistence of killing harry makes harry's childhood and innocence slowly get taken away, even the presumed constant of fighting draco malfoy won't remain constant forever

[shakytailstudios]

Savate Syndicate AU Chloe!

Sometime after her banishment Chloe would fall in with the Savate Syndicate a New York gang of martial art using criminals who saw potential in her skills and her a means of escaping her abusive circumstances as she donned the new name Cleo.

Her hair prematurely began to grey due to stress related to her parents, it actually stopped doing so after joining a gang. Apparently deadly fights to the death are less traumatic than her family.

Note, she should be older here, 18 at least, but I only had so long to spend on the model so I mostly sharpened up the face somewhat and couldn't expand the arms as I wanted too for shape key reasons.

I wrote a snippet covering these elements and shared it with @princess-of-the-corner but it can now be seen here!

This song also fits.

Chloe's life... Had not gone the way she planned.

Then again, she'd never had much of a plan, not really. She let other people plan for her, trusted them, believed in them.

Letting the likes of Lila and Hawk Moth lead her along with their machinations and grand promises. Trusting Andre decide what was "Worth" learning, like reading, or trusting that once she met her mother's standards things would just work out. Or believing Ladybug thought she could be something good and worthwhile.

Queen Bee was the closest she'd come to a real plan, be a hero.

As Chloe wiped another person's blood off her knuckles and glanced around the human ruin she had made of the man's & his guards she chuckled.

'I'm about as far from hero as one can be.'

"Having fun, Cleo?" A pleased, authoritative voice intoned.

Turning, Chloe saluted the head of the Savate Syndicate, "I think its important to enjoy what you do, sir."

That drew a genuinely amused chuckle from the man as he clapped her on the shoulder and intoned. "Good work here, just what I have come to expect from you."

& there it was, just a simple thing really, they didn't linger or laude her further, she'd just been given a job, done it well and was praised.

It wasn't much, but it also was something clear and real and easy to understand. Just like the money she got which was as good as the other enforcers at her rank.

It was just meeting a sets standard and getting a set standard reward, but it was, if not something that made her happy. At least something Cleo understood and could be satisfied with.

"Package secured," Intoned their leader, "& I imagine whoever replaces these imbeciles will know to deal with us more respectfully next time. For now, kick up some dust."

Like a switch being flicked, the room was for a single moment flooded with subtle sound and motion as the Savate Syndicate shot through windows, vents and doors. Blurring onto roof tops and streets, scattering through New York. If all went as usual, they'd reconvene at headquarters, be paid for a night work and... Well that was it.

Just another day in the rest of her life as a Savate Syndicate enforcer.

Chloe still didn't know how to feel about that.

Cleo was at least satisfied.

[applebuttercringe]

Pre-finale Arcane thoughts

I'm so glad we are getting more Arcane content tonight, I am so sad that we are never getting Arcane content ever again.

The writers have revealed that Act 3 will be the longest act by far, with the final episode being much longer than the average episode. It isn't specified how long, but it will be longer.

Despite this extra runtime, and the S2 pattern of getting multiple music video segments per episode, this Act has by far the least songs. Most of the songs have already happened. We only have 3 songs on the soundtrack that haven't happened yet. Then again that assuming the Blood Sweat and tears song will not make it into Arcane. This might be a good sign that they are going to use that extra time for more detailed plot. I know too much music was a big complaint of the first 2 acts.

Also there will be a Viktor song ♥️

I am hopeful for more Jayce and Viktor content, I am excited that they will have another confrontation and Viktors final transformation. I am of course sad about the figurative death of Viktors humanity. It seems from some leaks like the show will put immense emphasis on Viktor and Sky's relationship. It is still unclear to me if the Sky Viktor see's in the Hexcore is really Sky. From what we saw in S1 Viktor and Sky didn't have a very close relationship, we are only ever shown him brushing her off. His grief over her death is more a general guilt and grief of having taken a good persons life, not a personal loss because of a significant relationship between them. My interpretation is that Viktors visions of Sky are a manifestation of guilt. After finding out how much she looked up to him he wished that he had gotten to know her when he could. Believing she is with him now is a coping mechanism to avoid the guilt that he is grieving someone who he went out of his way not to give a chance. Maybe the show will take it in this direction, maybe she will be revealed to be the Hexcore controlling him, maybe they go all in on SkyVik as the new doomed romance.

I like Jinx and I look forward to the show furthering her recovery. If they do. Inevitable because of the death of Isha Jinx is going to spiral, we will get way more sad Jinx content. She will try and kill herself again, she will be absolutely destroying and isolating herself. It's the same thing we have gotten from Jinx for the entire show, she is just forever on the pain train. I am hopeful however that the show will focus on a recovery and that Vi and Jinx's relationship will stay intact despite Jinx's intense grief. I hope Vi will in some way be able to stay and comfort Jinx through the loss of Isha, and through Jinx's self blame. Both Vi and Jinx blame themselves for the death of their younger sibling (powder's emotional death) and perhaps they can both find solace in each other.

Caitlyn and Vi will get back together. Fingers crossed that we get a Cait/Vi sex scene. though honestly the hope is mostly for the memes. After their devastating breakup I am not sure how well the show will be able to just get them back together and make the relationship ok. From both characters perspectives the other has betrayed them in every way, gone against their deepest morals. Vi is in a close family relationship with Jinx, the woman who killed Caitlyns mother, after she promised she had no more sympathy for Jinx. Caitlyn betrayed Vi's trust and tried to shoot a child, then she attacked Vi and gassed the streets of her home. I really hope Arcane doesn't just gloss over this and get them back together. We know from the trailers that they at least argue about it, but most of the blame seems to be shifted to Ambessa, which is kinda weak.

Obviously we will get the Ekko/Heimerdinger Time travel plot. My only concern is that we will not get enough time for this. Even with the extra long act, time travel is an insane element to include this late in the story. Time travel as a plot point is infamous for creating massive problems for the story, it's almost never done well.

Overall I think episode 7 will start with a cold open flashback to Jayce's time in the Hexcore and show us both what happened to him that caused his turn against Viktor, I think this will be a flash forward to a future where Viktors commune has spread and the people don't really have free will. This flashback will also show us what happened to Ekko and Heimerdinger. This is where time travel will be introduced.

The next episode will focus on Jinxs grief, she will have another attempt on her life and be stopped by Vi. Vi and Caitlyn fight over Jinx's involvement in Caitlyns mothers death, but Caitlyn will see Jinx's grief and how it mirrors her own and come to the conclusion that war destroy all. Caitlyn and Vi will fight about Caitlyns involvement with Ambessa. Ambessa and Singed will be bringing Vander back to life as well as Viktor. Singed will strip Viktor of his remaining humanity so the "mutation" will survive. Viktor in some way will agree to this motivated by his witnessing how emotions tore down his commune and the betrayal of his best friend, accompanied by The Line song.

Jayce returns and finds out that Viktor is being resurrected, he once again wants to stop him in order to stop the Arcane from spreading. He will explain the Hexcores spread to Vi and Caitlyn to explain his action sagainst Viktor.

In the final episode they all team up to fight Ambessa, Jayce goes separately to fight Viktor. Ambessa will have revived Vander, except he will have lost his humanity and no longer contain Vi's father. This breaks Vi's heart, but she ultimately has to fight and stop him. Caitlyn and Ambessa will have a showdown that mirrors their training fight on the boat. This fight will take most of the episode and have a banger soundtrack. At some point in this Piltover v.s. Noxus battle Jinx will show up having made the choice to move forward and redefine herself, here we get the haircut and new design. Maybe she will rename herself.

I'm not sure how Mel fits in, her plotline seems so separate to the rest of the story. My assumption is she somehow makes it back to Piltover and confronts her mother about being the mystery child with magic powers. She will also side with Piltover against her mother. Being forced to fight against her daughter will shake Ambessa's resolve, as in her mind she is doing all this for her daughter.

I have the sinking feeling this will all end with the characters solving it with the power of friendship. It seems obvious that they will team up to fight Noxus, but there is no way they kill Ambessa, she is too profitable and promoted by Riot. Her status as a badass is being promoted on all the games and she has a tie in book coming out. I doubt they kill Vi or Jinx, too central. Caitlyn has to live to end up with Vi. Killing Viktor for a third time would be cheap. Jayce's arc hasn't led up to it.

I have a lot of ideas for cool things that could happen, and where it feels like the story is steering, But I can't see how these plot threads come together for a satisfying conclusion in just 3 episodes.

So much discussion about Arcane S2 ends with "but we'll see where it goes" this is the shows last chance to prove if it really was going somewhere with all of this, if the last few episodes were just set up to something great, like how so many people found season 1 act 1 boring/generic. or if the show is just fumbled. If these episodes suck then it will retroactively make these characters arcs all feel like they ended up going nowhere. In a heavily plotted show like Arcane where everything has always ended on a cliff hanger, where it finally goes will make or break the show. These character arcs and little animation details people have been obsessing over were either genius or a bunch of fluff that ended up amounting to nothing.

I am excited, a little worried. Mostly excited.

[sandraharissa]

You know what, you're totally right. I didn't mention it cos 1) there's too much to talk about 2) it was a prediction I and others had that since Silco died trying to protect her from hallucinations of her family and then forgave her before dying then that might mean she won't have those in s2 or that maybe hallucinations of Mylo and Claggor will get replaced by Silco. But yeah, what about those lost seconds that looked like she's dissociating. Where are all the scribbles that distort her reality, like seeing Cait with devil horns and blacking out Vi from the picture. It's not like Silco's death would cure her psychosis.

All of the complexity of s1 thrown out the window bcos of all these revelations. Like yes, actually now it seems like Vi was right and it was indeed Silco who was causing her psychosis so with him gone it magically disappeared. It's not even that he raised her bad at all lol, I mean look at her she seems completely well adjusted now, it's just that his mere presence gives her a different personality and additional mental illnesses asdfljhgf

I think one of the many things wrong with Jinx this season is how like, half of her personality was cut off and thrown out.

Like her reaction to grief. We see her suicidal after Silco’s death and she’ll be again very suicidal after Isha’s death. Makes sense. Don’t have notes on that part. However I have so much notes on her rage. In s1 we see Powder sometimes responding to bad situation by being shy and sad, but sometimes she reacts in a more adversarial way, like complaining they should try fighting Piltover or trying to stand up to Mylo. But we also get these moments like when she’s left behind and has an absolute meltdown and starts wrecking shit but more importantly her reaction to Silco. He says they’ll show them all and she throws the audience the most rage fueled look you’ve ever seen. When really pushed beyond her limits this is Powder’s emotional reaction to tragedy/being wronged. We see that all throughout acts II and III and we see it when she blows up the council after Silco dies. And that’s the problem cos that’s the part that’s missing from s2. They cut her personality in half and only kept one half. Anger as part of her personality and reaction to grief was discarded when writing her in s2. Even tho she goes through a lot of grieving in s2.

Another example is Isha. Jinx prioritizing family and just chilling? Wanting affectionate interactions with family? Having an easier relationship with a younger family member cos there aren’t any expectations or need to prove anything or gain anyone’s attention? No fear of abandonment/betrayal? She just has this kid who hero worships her and follows her around like a puppy so no stress? No notes. However I have a lot of notes about Jinx’s paranoia and how not normal and possessive and toxic she is about relationships. And I have notes on the generational trauma. Where did all that go? That’s not how ppl work. Living in a messed up society and Silco’s parenting won’t just evaporate like that cos Isha is just so overwhelmingly cute. It’s more likely that Jinx would corrupt the kid. (which you could argue on paper she does cos the kid in the end thought that suicide was dope but why did the narrative frame it as this beautiful thing lol)

And on the topic of fighting Piltover where did “we beat the enforcers with just the four of us imagine what the whole Lanes could do” go? Jinx definitely prioritized family more but she wasn’t neutral or indifferent on the Piltover matter. The enforcers wrong her/hurt her/threaten her family yet again, they kidnapped Isha, and she just acts panicked and sad, but also jokes and quips while on the mission. Where’s the rage and hatred and desire for revenge on the ppl who wronged her? Sometimes it’s just ppl around her being mean or lying or smth, anyone could be her enemy, like Sevika, Silco or Vi, but a lot of the time it’s Piltover, they killed her parents, they were her fathers’ enemies and drove them to hate each other, they chased them as kids and tried to arrest them, they kidnapped and abused Vi in prison all her adolescence, they would have killed Vi so she blew up the whole blockade, Council tried to turn Silco against her and now he’s dead so she bombs them, all her life she can see that the quality of their life is bad bcos of Piltover, she’s in Jayce’s apartment and immediately goes for the sandwich. Jinx doesn’t come off as a very politically/ideologically motivated character but what happened to all her personal beef with Piltover?

They also inexplicably just ceased to write her fucking up all the time. what about her y’know, being a jinx? In s1 even in acts II and III when she is proficient in fighting and bomb-making they still constantly show her being more of a burden and fucking up in other ways. While never explained (which was good) to me it came off as a symptom of trauma and being neurodivergent, like how ADHD kids can’t escape the allegations that they’re lazy, but on a meta level it did make it feel like she was supernaturally cursed. Part of what felt so profound and empowering about s1 finale and her embracing being jinx it that it was her embracing that she’s different (and ‘wrong’ in some ways) and can never live a happy life in the society she lives in and so she lashes out. Now she just chills and nothing ever doesn’t go her way (ig until Isha died but that wasn’t even directly her fault, Isha just acted on her own choice and agency). Suddenly her mental issues don’t exist or get in the way of her socializing and being a part of society. This bigoted, violent and unfair society.

Don’t even get me started on her mannerisms. Remember how she would bite her lip? I’m not sure if she does that even once in s2. “Sister, thought I missed her”??? let Jinx rhyme sometimes and in general say weird shit, not one-liners.

So the only way for the writers to have Jinx do nothing, heal up completely and just chill with a kid in her lair (and really everything else she does (or doesn’t do) this season) is to get rid of half of her personality, the traits that would dictate she take action and feel wrath and lash out/hurt her loved ones in the process.

All of her tragic traits from s1 that made her Jinx were just erased, not changed throughout the course of an arc, absent from the get go, so that they can have her say that Jinx is dead and have it make sense in the context of s2 cos from her very first appearance is s2 this Jinx was devoid of pretty much all of her jinx-y character traits from s1.

[navree]

"it's always hating on rhaegar for rhaenys and aegon's deaths never tywin" because rhaegar was their father and had a responsibility towards them that tywin did not, stay in school

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Adorned by stars | Changing States

When he hits the I-70, Jeremiah slots George Michael’s Faith into his ’98 Accord and drives with the windows down. His mother would chide him for two reasons: a) he’s wasting fuel and b) it’s begun to storm. But he likes the way the wind shears through his hair like a nail breaking drywall and he likes the way spats of rain settle on his skin like constellations because on the road, he isn’t just a hand for someone else to hold, a body to handle, a man who looks at another man and fears how much of himself he’s lost in his reflection. No. On the road he is the sky, adorned by stars of his own making, relentless in his abundance, blinking in the absence of any other light.

A little Changing States aesthetic & excerpt!

i'm so normal about him i'm so normal i'm so normal i'm so-

[cepheusgalaxy]

Ok

Um

My... essay teacher just died?

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[mad-hunts]

after hearing what jervis had to say, although it was an impulse he didn't want to give into, all jack could do was turn his face downwards. the act of relating to someone saying something like that about themselves and being able to empathize with them — it made his throat sting, as jack had drawn up the proper dosage for someone of jervis's size of both meds. the pain-reliever was injected into the IV first before he had to stop.

jack still wasn't looking at the other while he spoke to him, ❝ that's not true. i may not know you personally, but your life is valuable. if you spend enough time around people who treat you as if you're just a bother to them, though? you start to believe stuff like that in my personal experience. ❞ it was only when he was finished with having the cyclizine (the anti-vertigo medicine) join the other meds in his IV that he finally looked up. and directly at jervis, too, while squeezing the bag of it. why would he be asking for ketamine?

jack might not be so good at remembering all of the pharmaceuticals his dad just hoped he would memorize, but he knew that ketamine was pretty notorious for causing hallucinations. shaking his head was an almost instantaneous reaction once he recalled something and tried to keep his tone light-hearted. ❝ no, i'm afraid we don't have any of that here. what you really need is food anyways; your body seems to be running off of just hopes and dreams right now, after all. no offense, ❞ jack smiled a bit sheepishly at that before turning his back to jervis.

deciding to just get it over with, he then disposed of the needles in the sharps container in the room once his feet had successfully carried him there. this allowed jack a moment to drop the smile he'd put on and stare at the wall in confusion. because even though it wasn't really his business to ask jervis about the ketamine, in his opinion, it was still perplexing. this was of course after jack had given the man the washcloth he'd carried with him. he supposed now that he'd learned a bit too much about nico, that jervis was now the person he was wondering about.

and i say this because he seemed different. not in a bad way, but from an emotional standpoint. the rest of jack's family always seemed so reserved at the best of times. then unfeeling, at the worst. but here jervis was seemingly intentionally trying to connect with jack. it made him feel less like an outsider than he usually did, which he was thankful for. jack only blinked at the idea of lewis carroll also being a mathematician. he honestly never would've guessed he had both an analytical and creative mind. that was just further evidence that it was easy for people to get swept up in seeing only one facet of a person, jack supposed.

whoever jervis's wife might've been, she must've been smart. a small smile tugged at his lips as the other talked about her liking for puzzles and wanting to pursue different intellectual challenges. jack decided to only ask him a short question, then, ❝ it sounds like you knew her like the back of your hand. how long were you two together? ❞ the smile that was on his face soon dissipated just like that, however, when the topic of miscarriages was brought up. oh... that was devastating. jack didn't even know what to say to that.

he turned his attention to his tarot deck due to being at a complete loss as to what he should say. jack's breath caught in his throat at the apology, nodding as a way of saying 'thanks.' ❝ yeah. i'm sorry too, honestly. ❞ that felt like the best way to convey his feelings about it at that point. it wasn't that he was bitter about it, but saying 'it's okay' never felt right to him. jack lifted up the table and chair one by one to move them directly next to jervis's bedside. and then, it felt as if his heart was being squeezed. ❝ we were. julien was always looking out for me and although i was three years younger than him, i always tried to look out for him. ❞

jack spread out all of the cards in a fan-like pattern with one hand upon the table. he cleared his throat to try to maintain his composure as he said, ❝ i try to, ahh, talk to him sometimes even though he's not here. which does strangely help. and allowing myself to feel all the things that come with grief, then letting them go has been like... going from being swallowed by the waves in a shipwreck to surviving one. ❞ jack blinked up at jervis, smiling briefly before running his hand along the cards.

❝ while we've got time to spare, do you want me to read your past, present, and future? it could be therapeutic. ❞

“Both. Please. Although, you needn’t worry about me fainting; I’m not worth the trouble or the concern.”

Jervis folded his arm across his eyes; counted the seconds as he tried to focus on his breathing. The five senses technique wouldn’t do him much good with his present state, as erratic as his thought process currently was; as battered and muggy as his body felt.

“Maybe even a dash of ketamine, if it’s possible? Though I understand if that’s something you don’t have on hand.” A joke at his own expense; pitch-black, crashing and burning.

White walls, white ceiling, white floor. Everywhere, the gleam of white. The scent of antiseptic choking like mothballs. Good old Vitamin K, thin and watery. Enough pills forced down his throat to incapacitate a warhorse. Which will it be today, Tetch, IV or up your nose?

Not entirely a joke, either, if we were being completely honest here. But the boy didn’t need to know that. Pathetic. As though you weren’t wretched enough… get over yourself. Are you that much of a coward?

He didn’t want to look at Jack’s face, couldn’t fathom how the boy would possibly react. Didn’t want to consider it.

Instead, he accepted the washcloth with a faint, grateful hum and carefully dabbed at his mouth, blotting away every bit of blood he could taste. It almost reminded him of how Alice would use sponges to wipe away errant streaks of paint on her canvases—

Jervis cut the thought off before it could finish maturing. It was a wonder those mental shears hadn’t blunted, with how much he’d been using them of late… He shifted his focus on the comments the other made about the Carroll quote. A very faint grin quirked the side of his face; blink and you’d miss it.

“Correct… though I suppose it’s just a matter of perspective, really. Carroll was also a mathematician, but not many people outside academia tend to think about or focus on that particular facet of his legacy. Quite brilliant… geometry, linear and matrix algebra…” He moved his arm, gazed at a hairline crack in the ceiling.

“My wife would frequently read and re-read his essays, after I introduced them to her.” Pale, scarred fingers swept his sweaty hair off his brow. “She was mad for Sudoku and logic puzzles, always looking for ways to challenge herself intellectually…”

Jervis straightened the chain from where it tangled around his neck, carefully tucked it back beneath his shirt; out of sight but not out of mind. “… she’d had two miscarriages, before our daughter was born; I guess the equations and the rules were her way of channeling it; all the pain and sadness and self-blame…”

His voice trailed off again, and he shrugged. There was no point to any of this; he hoped Jack had enough sense to just dismiss it as delusion or fatigue-induced rambling, and ignore it all. He couldn’t rightly say why his thoughts turned in that direction, and he certainly wasn’t looking for any sympathy or pity. He could barely keep his own eyes open, as it was. But there seemed to be an air of warmth and easiness around Jack; in sharp contrast to his sister and father.

In any case, Jervis’ attention diverted as Jack’s shell bracelet rattled softly around his wrist. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he murmured; nothing in his tone facetious or contrived. Merely a sense of pure, genuine empathy embroidered those four words; infusing them like a cloud of purple mist.

He let out a soft breath and shook his head slightly. “Did you have a close bond?” Thoughts of his uncle Stephen and father, Simon, danced in his mind; their uncomfortable silences and lengthy, strained strolls. Memories flickered like shadows, each one a reminder of the distance that had grown between them over the years.

More often than not, the air between them was thick with the lingering scent of pipe and cigarette smoke, enveloping them like a veil. Each moment felt like a thread in a tapestry woven with both love and resentment.

Two sides of the same coin… but then again, when was family ever perfect?

[suiana]

yandere! cheater and gn! reader who's in their villain arc...

you've suspected that something was up when your boyfriend started to get busy with his work, coming home late, hiding his phone from you...

of course you just wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that he really was just stressed from his work. he was yourboyfriend after all. you had to trust him, didn't you?

well everything was shattered when you found one of his side chicks under your shared bed. she was naked, only wearing a pair of undies while holding in her pee.

"wtf why are you hiding under here?"

"your bf doesn't want u to know that he's cheating. told me that he'd kill me if i came out."

yeah, so the girl was an asshole to get with your man when she knew that he was in a relationship but at least she told it to your face straight up. also she pissed herself while getting out from the bed so there's that.

meanwhile, your boyfriend was sobbing and crying when he came home. you had found out of his side affairs, a side he never wanted you to find out about. to be honest, your boyfriend didn't know why he he got with others in the first place. he had everything he could ever want in you. you made him feel alive, all the good things you know. being with you was like a dream come true and he constantly felt like tearing out his skin from how happy you made him.

you were his god.

oh, yeah, thinking about it now that's probably it. he felt that you were too good for him and didn't want to taint you. which... was why he resorted to sleeping with others.

shitty move, yeah he knows. don't need to repeat it.

but you... why were you so forgiving? you welcomed him back with open arms, sobbed a little and told him how hurt you were! he thought you'd have up and left by now!

but you didn't.

he knew you were too good for him, he had to treat you better now. he just had to, this was obviously you giving him a second chance, right? oh he just loves you so much!

unfortunately for him, it wasn't a second chance. no, you were about to absolutely ruin this man.

it started with the small things. small rumours about him ranging from how he had a small dick to how he's a pushover... you needed to start your plan slow, you know. tear his reputation of a good and sensible man bit by bit. gotta build up that tension teehee >w<

then from the rumours, you started manipulating the people close to him. crocodile tears, white lies, and a whole pity party for yourself... telling his friends and family members how your boyfriend was an absolute shit of a boyfriend, how he didn't treat you right and how he was the worst an alive... well, it wasn't much of a lie. he did spoil you and treat you like a deity but if he really treasured you why would he cheat in the first place? there's no space left in your life to pity him.

the most important part was to constantly reassure him that you loved him and to make sure that he never finds out that you were the one ruining his life from behind the scenes. can't let him find out that his angel lover is the one that's bringing him to social death now!

by this stage, your boyfriend was completely dependent on you. everyone around him was looking at him like he was the absolute scum of the earth. where did the rumours come from? why was everyone avoiding him? he couldn't even go to work without his coworkers side-eyeing him like he grew an extra head! he's just lucky he didn't get fired-

oh and what do you know. he got fired.

he comes home crying, an absolute mess and a shell of the man that he used to be. what was once a confident and charming man is now a desperate and pathetic boyfailure.

"baby i got fired, i'm so sorry. i don't deserve to be with you."

his arms wrap aorund your legs, tears staining your pants as he seeks comfort from the only person still left by his side. yes, you're the only person left dying for. even his own parents desserted him, yet you stayed. he's so thankful-

"yeah, you're right. you don't deserve me."

it's like time stops the second the words fall from your lips. he slowly looks up at you, eyes widening in horror as his tears dry up. what? was he growing delusional? he must've heard you wrong. no way his beloved god just said that!

"haha... you're so sweet baby. joking around in a time like this-"

"i'm not joking. you don't deserve someone like me."

you slap his hands away, looking down at him as he remains on his knees on the floor. you had a smug smile, expression all cocky as you even started to laugh.

"haha! did you really think i wanted to stay with you? fuck no! i have standards okay? i really didn't want to stay with a cheater!"

your boyfriend didn't know what to think. what were you saying? he doesn't understand. is this a late april fools prank? the way his heart was clenching and the way he felt his face paled shows just how much he doesn't like your words.

"babe stop-"

"i hate you god damnit. i really thought you'd be the one for me but no! you just had to go ahead and cheat!"

but you didn't listen to him.

"let's break up."

oh yeah, you hear that? that's the sound of his heart shattering.

he quickly crawls over to you, face pale as he grips onto your pants tightly. his hands shook with each word he uttered, tone desperate as tears streamed down his cheeks once more.

he never thought he'd start begging for someone to stay when it was usually the opposite but... you were his god. the one he's devoted his entire life too.

so he'll gladly get on his hands and knees for you if he has too. you can't leave him. he doesn't want to be alone.

"please! forgive me! i know i did something wrong but i'm trying! you can't leave me too!"

he looks up at you, face completely flushed as he continues to turn himself into an even bigger pathetic mess. he doesn't care what he looks like now. he's practically lost everything. he has nothing left to lose.

"i promise i'll be better! i haven't cheated since you found out last time! d-doesn't that count for something?"

he gives you a shaky smile, as though that would convince you.

it wasn't.

in response to his words, you could only give a disgusted expression, kicking him away before walking past him to the front door. what a pathetic man he was.

"you know, you look best when you're like this."

you state, glancing at him with a smile before turning to leave his house. well, there's that. your plan was complete and your now-ex boyfriend was absolutely destroyed.

so why did it feel like... something bad was about to happen?

you quickly look back at him, keeping your cool and remaining nonchalant before you feel the blood drain from your face. your best friend?! where did they come from?! and the fact that your crazy ex was holding a knife to their neck-

"no... don't leave me... you can't leave... i have no one else but you..."

what were you supposed to do now that he was holding your best friend hostage?