#there shouldn't be anything weird at all
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rook x lucanis: romance with a commentary track! solas and spite contribute with their thoughts and opinions along the way whether anyone wants them to or not. it's like a MST3K episode up in here as you try to get hot and heavy. in. in the pantry. love among the radishes at the end of the world (rifftrax version)
#still not sure who I'll romance first but I *am* starting to find lucanis just like. inherently hilarious. which is often how it starts.#for me. because of my many faults and flaws as a human being. I can't resist anything I find even slightly funny#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#solas#dragon age spoilers#god please PLEASE let there be a fade section where solas and spite could interact just to complete my Vision here#anyway I think this concept could bring out the absolute troll side of solas that I love and treasure so much#if you annoy him too much in your little fade talks he'll start loudly critiquing your kissing technique in the back of your head#'oh is that how people go about it these days. well. not how I would have done it but to each their own of course'#pls pls I want pass agg dread wolf roasts constantly he's such a bitch he was born for this (affectionate)#I mean only lucanis and the player can hear spite apparently so it'd be more like lucanis looking into the camera like he's on the office#it's so cruel I think he's already going to be real weird at emotional intimacy as it is he shouldn't have to deal#with being bounced against the fourth wall like a little rubber ball on top of it all. sorry about your life (?) lucanis
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As a show of good faith toward the remaining Decepticons at the beginning of a new, united Cybertron, newly appointed Senators Bumblebee and Soundwave allowed Shatter and Dropkick to enlist into Autobot City's Defense Team.
These two turned out to be... not the best choices.
The city may have fallen to Insurgent Decepticon occupation had it not been for young recruits Hot Rod and Arcee's accidental interception of Shatter's communication with the fugitive Starscream.
To replace the errant Defense Team members, Springer and Blurr were reassigned from Iacon to Autobot City in their stead.
#my art#tf reconstruction#transformers#bumblebee movie#tf shatter#tf dropkick#maccadam#transformers au#semi-introduction to my idea for antagonists in tf:r - specifically being movie villains slotted into my au#bc if the main crux of the main reconstruction story in autobot city is about hot rod and her rise to becoming rodimus prime#which comes from the First movie - why not loosely adapt other movies too??#ive got ideas for most of them already - kinda jumping back and forth between the modern day story and my pre-war ''downfall'' story#which gives my brain a break from thinking about one to think about another#anyway - i imagine the first ''episode'' of tf:r would be like. hot rod shows up in autobot city on her first day > meets the team#> gets assigned arcee as her partner > arcee hates it > they over hear shatter talking to someone they don't recognise because rod's nosey#> huh that's weird > they intercept it next time by accident > its a communication to starscream about the city's defenses#> they take it to ultra magnus but they break the pad on the way because they were arguing about it#> ''hot rod i know you're new here. and you're intrigued about the war and everything. but we shouldn't be suspicious of everyone wearing a#purple badge. give them a chance.'' > arcee drops it bc she doesn't wanna start trouble + ''magnus will handle it. he always does somehow.'#> rod does not drop it and makes blaster monitor shatter's messages for anything unusual > blaster indulges her bc he's endeared to her#> he does end up intercepting an encrypted message > rod immediately acts and chases after shatter and dropkick on an outside-city mission#> arcee goes after her to stop her from fucking up really bad > blaster unencrypts the message. it's a rendezvous point to start an invasio#> magnus kup blaster and perceptor all head out to help the two young'uns before they get in over their heads#> rod and arcee meet and fight starscream and barely make it out by the skin of the teeth thanks to the more experienced autobots arrival#> starscream shatter dropkick and whoever else is there are driven off#> day is saved - magnus commends rod's gut instincts but rod goes back to what magnus said about not trusting bots with purple badges#> she was right this time but its an exception not a rule and most other decepticons in the city want to live in peace#> magnus also commends that attitude and the team head back > starscream starts plotting his Next Big Plan#''post credits'' scene of magnus putting the request in for springer and blurr + robot dinosaur opening its eye in the dark👀👀#longwinded but ya thats like the Clearest idea for Specific Events so far other things are Stuff I Want To Happen
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people who get mad over tone tags are so weird imo.. like nobody is putting a gun to your head to use them, why are you being whiny over people that do use them. its literally just a quick way to convey tone, especially when talking to a someone who may not know when you are being serious or joking or if you say something that might be misinterpreted. it isnt a big deal if somebody uses them and its weird how much shit they get, especially when theyre most used by autistic people/people who struggle with tone indication
#its all dont shame disabled ppl or be ableist until theyre using something that makes their life a little easier that you think is cringe#'well I'll NEVER make fun of autistic people using them but other people' widespread accessibility and knowledge is good#and people shouldn't have to disclose their medical information to you for you to not shame them lol#its the same as 'ill never be mean to quirky autistic people' but youre still making fun of people who struggle with volume while speaking#or are too excited about something or have weird/niche/childish interests.#or do anything that you think is cringe or whatever. youre not entitled to anyones personal information#just for them to avoid getting bullied or shamed by you. get over yourself.#anyways. not to be vague but something happened (people are being so annoying)#ransom note
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and I think child modelling should be illegal I'm not even joking
#I dodged it but like it truly felt like we were pigs raised to slaughter. slaughter being prostitution#every little detail I remember now as adult with basic child psychology education from my teacher background is just. how#I'm not brave enough to say 'jail to mother' (yet) but honestly...#what wrong could come from making a bunch of girls used to lying about their age ignoring being made uncomfortable and disrespected#especially by adults who can make all sorts of rules and claims on their bodies and schedules that are treated as secrets#I had the best experience possible and I am certain I did get pimps approaching me my mother and contractors#and even then I felt very weird that I was often sent to nightclubs that only allowed adults as clients but since I was there to get on#stage as work then I could get in and actually I got instructed to keep on 'vip areas' that typically had a lot more drugs circulating#the heels the clothing and makeup I got put on were also so wrong#I didn't hate it at the time some things made me uncomfortable but I liked dancing I liked fashion and I liked how the fact I was 'making#money' made me more respected in my house and I started getting more independence (that I probably shouldn't have been given either)#but ugh the existing photographs already make me want to throw up and I am glad there aren't photographs of the worse 'dance' jobs I did#very strange little universe#I also feel like I was the only girl that didn't have an eating disorder but mostly cuz I already had problems with alcohol that did the jo#but also I got in much older than the other girls and out pretty fast#crazy that 13 is old but like you genuinely hear of 6 year old who are responsible for a considerable portion of the household income#YIKES#the compliments I got on managing to look older and 'being so mature'. yikes#anything that allows a child to be the one making most of the family's income is a receipt for disaster#.txt
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
#wherein lmao means I'm so scared and i cant stop crying rn#no one should have to fear this. not me nor anyone else nor the ppl who have already had to flee their homes worldwide#a person shouldn't have to worry abt violence being enacted upon them bc of who they are which like#obvi isn't a new concept to myself and most ppl but i feel like the folks who'll vote Trmp don't care for it#won't affect them in theory after all so of course they don't care#Housemate and I are trying to figure out where we could go and how in case of the worst#and it's not even the first time I'll have had to leave a place bc of safety reasons (two nickles on that already in my life)#but it doesn't make it any less daunting#i just want to live my life in our little house with Housemate and the cats working my shit job and trying to enjoy whatever i can#none of this matters and im shouting into a void full of equally terrified ppl dealing with this themselves if not worse#these tags don't make sense entirely and i don't care. i have things I should be doing and I'm sitting in my room#paralysed by fear over all of this#i should distract myself but with what? at what point do i accept the distractions can only do so much?#maybe I'll just take a nap again. idk. feels weird and wrong to play a video game or nap ordo anything that isn't trying to research options#i need to stop rambling here like im hoping time will pause while i type im out again lmao
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When you re-listen to music made by someone you have very complicated feelings about now but used to be a gigantic fan of and 1. The songs still slap and 2. Like 5 of them just sound like vents of your feelings about the artist your listening to
#It's fucking weird man ;__;#I still know all the words#Legitimately kinda wish I could make covers of some of his songs bc that is how I feel about him#But that's fucking stupid and I really shouldn't do that#And also some of the songs are just like#Damn well that fits my story and I want to make an animatic to it but also haha I don't want it to come off that I like-#Idk support him?#I don't want him dead or anything#But I don't like that man#I have a lot of complicated feelings about him even#Anyway#Almost 3am so I'm just kinda in that state rn#cryptid.thoughts#This is not about cc!dream#Literally anyone who has been on this blog for a while or knows me will know this is not about dream#Anyway goodnight ig
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Honestly at this point starting to feel I've managed to miss Jason's characterization while he was alive because he really really does not and has never seemed especially angry to me, but the comics are trying to hammer it in so much, it's like all they mention is his anger and impulsiveness and his death but like??
I can never remember jaybin (<-is that what we call jason robin for short?) being like that, certainly not to the extent they're always saying, to me his anger wasn't that much, and it pretty much matched with batman's, it wasn't greater than anyone else's, and it just felt like general new hero anger, I cannot stress enough just how off all these flashbacks and talking about him feel wrong to me
#dc liveblog#anger was like the last part of the story and All they talk about too. why can't they say anything else at all#i know he was the lonely robin but cmon man#crying screaming turning into dust emoji#he wasnt angrier than those around him. his impulsiveness while there wasnt stand out. his violence wasnt something looked on with concern#instead of reminding us about jason and how batman failed him all these flashbacks and mentions are just making me feel like#they didn't know anything about him and are projecting failure and only see faults#its weird#i figure reading precrisis first is affecting how i percieve him but i dont mind that i think his character shouldn't fully change after#still feel like im missing something though#like all they talk about is his anger all they say about him is his anger all they remember about him is his anger#and he was a 14 year old that at the very most was equal to the grown man in a bat costume when it came to anger#who was the person he was closest too#ive not gotten to the red hood yet and im not saying he was right. but i understand his perspective
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#incredibly difficult to express and also like. next to impossible to find the sort of support i think i actually need#which is for people to just *accept* me when im struggling instead of trying to help or pushing me to behave differently#i need somebody who can challenge me and encourage me and push me sometimes#but at the same time aomebody who i could count on to just love and accept me even if i never get better#i feel like it's such a weird and impossible ask#like please don't let me slide but also i need to know that if i am worst self that i would still be unconditionally loved and supported#i am not convinced this is a thing that's even possible#like i don't want an enabler but i also have demand avoidance like crazy and anything other than acceptance feels like a demand#and an implicit ''you're not enough''#and how i feel about it is all so dependent on mood which is changeable as hell#i read somewhere that this is kind of what heing a Freeze response person does to you. you just shut down and lock up#when people are trying to bring you out of it. like it just makes it worse. the only thing that thaws you out is unconditional acceptance#and fucking. that's the most counterintuitive ''you shouldn't do that bc it's enabling'' things ever
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Slowly, yet painfully realizing that we're probably the exact type of person that random fandom guys would miscast as a father.
#we speak#internet teenagers keep coming to us as like the only authority figure on hand who will treat them like people#and we're like... please... we don't want to be an authority figure... why do all of your parents suck so hard...#like we're willing to offer ourself as an anchor as well as we can because we've Been there and know how it feels#but like damn. who the fuck let your families suck this bad. how on earth have situations managed to produce enough of you#that we end up being cast as The Only Adult On Hand Willing To Listen And Talk Through Things MULTIPLE TIMES#and perhaps more importantly why are we the only person in random fandom discords who is willing to treat teenagers like People#weren't the rest of you also teenagers at some point??? don't you like remember how it feels like to not have agency for shit???#experiencing the “only person in the room who's willing to take a position” thing#despite there being like multiple other people in the room who should be WAY more qualified for this#how does this keep happening and more importantly why are we the only guy in the area who is doing anything to help#just to stress this point#we are trying our hardest to NOT be an authority figure because historically it ends terrible for us due to The Mental Health Issue#but somehow we are continually running into situations where we're the only guy willing to come up to plate#the syndromes. the issues. we are so fucking glad that this particular wave is coming now instead of A Few Years Ago#something something progress but also we dislike that we have to be the one handling these situations#because we shouldn't be considered a primary point of stability in anyone's life and the fact that we ARE a stable point to anyone is uhh#weird to think about. who let this happen. we're not old enough to be a parent#and we also find it very alarming that there are so many of you out there who are severely lacking in support#someone needs to work out a childcare arrangement system that doesn't suck because the current one really isn't doing it#while we're at it we can start overhauling the culture that landed us in being the only person willing to listen to people like ever#and maybe make it so we don't have to be a primary support because people are sufficiently supported already
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Hey random but if there's anything I'm ever somehow being disrespectful about or saying incorrectly or doing wrong things, PLEASE let me know because chances are I have absolutely no idea. Because the last thing I want to do is something disrespectful or offensive
#i guess I'm thinking about this because like#there's the whole thing where people are misusing the term of autism i guess and even just equating it to normal weird quirks#and making these jokes and such#and there was all this stuff i knew but I don't know how much is legit#i thought i was on the autism spectrum for a long time#I still wonder but#i did do some dumb little quizzes for a dr (who didn't even normally do stuff like this i think) and the results were that I'm not hut who#knows of the accuracy#and it left me feeling bad because a lot of traits of myself i thought were similar to being on the autism spectrum#and even then i think I'm weird and have weird traits in general and was discouraged i didn't have like. a reason for why I'm weird the way#i am. and if I'm not i really don't want to be saying anything i shouldn't. before I was just mostly following what everyone around me was#saying#am i allowed to say hyperfixations?? can i have those if I'm not? because i definitely have those#i don't want to make any ignorant jokes or statements#who knows if i sit anywhere on that spectrum (even my mom thinks i do) but if i don't. i just want to be careful#i do have very high anxiety AND ocd if that means anything#those are confirmed#sock talk
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🫶 thanks for responding back! i appreciate all the hard work you’ve planned out for us 🎉 i can’t wait to see more of the darker themes fleshed out at the end of the first part, i will be waiting patiently LOL 👍 in terms of yandere, how bad do you think it will be? what do you have planned in that department?
also i hope you get better soon 😅 please take breaks and certainly take your time!
well ive said that its very mild on the yandere side even later on in the slowburn. its barely yandere more, like... obsession??... at least for the first while. the yandere part is more just there as a warning because I don't want to shock people with the small bit of dark content there will be. i really don't like yanderes that hurt reader (they just don't make sense to me. yandere to me is about having too much love, and you wouldn't hurt someone you loved??) and like,,,, spoiler cut here but like, these are all things that are in the tags/warnings/just information around
i need happy endings. i cant handle even the slightest bit bitter ending it hurts me physically. i am writing a happy ending. it will take grovelling, compromise, and probably fixing the universe but idc. i will uncritically romanticise toxic relationships. i can fix him he can fix me we will fix ourselves for each other. THATS ROMANCE BABEY!!! ITS BEING YOUR BEST SELF BECAUSE YOU LOVE SOMEONE!!! AND YANDERE IS ABOUT LOVE. ITS ABOUT LOVE!!!! ALWAYS LVOE!!!!
#sophie speaks#sophie answers#series:www#i know people want darker content#and like totes respect to that but I'm going to ride the line#we WILL have a happy ending and we WILL have reverse harem ending and I REFUSE TO ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS#YES they will kidnap you NO i don't consider that a dealbreaker. just let me out and say sorry and its fine#i wasnt even sure if id share the fic when I first started writing it#didnt think anyone would like it or its weird jokey/dark/overly sappy/also the weird dynamic all at the same time tone#this is a story about all the parts of life#the good and the bad and the parts you probably shouldn't laugh at but will anyway#im in a bit of a weird place mentally atm. I'm healing and I'm also reverting and I've never experienced dissociation in this form and its.#its confusing. this fic is just meant to be confusing but hopeful. because I'm confused but I'm never not hopeful :)#whatever man if i cant think properly i dont think its really my fault if my silly little fanfiction is too long and wordy and insane#im insane it leaks out#if that wasnt obvious...m
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So after our ermmmmm turbulent first relationship-turned-situationship of 2 years w our ex highschool best friend our longest lasting relationship is <24hrs total and still managed to end w the person saying I'm terrible???? Fuck.
Tough thing is, I did my damn best but every time I explain this shit it'll ALWAYS sound like I'm leaving something out that I did wrong; but I was always the one apologizing even growing up I always had to apologize, is there just something about me that makes my actions more severe? Why do I have to feel guilty over people who never cared to actually know me? Did I not work hard enough to be "known"? I only ever wanted to see them happy and I thought I expressed that.
Why do people think that it's ok to try and gaslight me just so they don't have to admit fault? I know she blocked me and I said I respected that, only for her to try to tell me that I didn't care. Well I admit fault when it's mine, but the minute I ask the same of the other person they just act like I want to be "right." Well am I wrong for wanting to be CONSIDERED? For wanting my perspective acknowledged the way I take theirs into account?
Plenty of people find others that care for them like that. Why do people stop caring about what I need just because I act independent? I don't even ask for much. I had to stop myself from asking for "basic kindness" when she asked me what I wanted in a partner at the risk of sounding pathetic, but I guess I don't even get that. I just upset motherfuckers one way or another, I don't even have to do anything but be myself.
Is it something you really do earn? Something I have yet to lower myself to deserve? I want someone to be fucking honest with me, allow me to be honest as well, and not abandon me for it. Someone needs to tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong. Is everyone I'm close with just going to freak out and run the other way the SECOND I mess up, just because I normally don't? Because I try so hard not to, I'm just expected not to? Not an ounce or effort of forgiveness that makes me give people chance after chance even when they hurt me?
Don't lie about me.
It's ok for everyone else but not for me.
Why? Hey,
why can't I just get it right?
#vent#i guess#tagging in case ppl don't want to see that shit but I'm rlly all right#just confused out of my mind#like this girl i met up w blocked ME from texting#only to come insult me a week later#after i told her I was ok with her decision just confused#like why even pick a fight#if i didn't deserve that why did it happen (terrible mindset to have but I'm 21 a whole adult i shouldn't have even tried to start#a relationship with her but i did i just idk if I didn't want a partner i wouldn't have)#I don want it to happen again#we just miss having that person we could or thought we could trust w anything#we wanted to build that again idk#she shoulda just left me blocked why come back to blalme me when i tried so hard#blitz helluva boss irl speedrun any % (kill us nowwwww /j)#i think were gonna take a look at in-system relationships for now i cannot do this lmao#we're gonna bounce back quick it's just a WEIRD FUCKIN SITUATION#but like. lore idk here you go#LORE LMAO UR SO MELODRAMATIC#<---- me @ me#except “i” never liked her so get owned chez#i don't have to sign off shit what r u a cop
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I think I have such complicated feelings about my voice bc like. I've had significant dysphoria about it since long before I knew what dysphoria even was, but that also means I've been (knowingly or not) trying to sound masculine for about that long and I haven't completely failed at it. so I hate hearing my own voice but it's a point of pride at the same time. and I want it to change but I don't want to lose what I've taught myself to do with it. and I want to show it off sometimes but it makes me die a little bit. yknow?
#trans stuff#I also just like to Make Sounds. singing or in general. dysphoria be damned#and like. do I think I'm a Good singer? debatable. I do community theatre and some people I know from there have said I am#but like I don't think it's anything remarkable personally. I can carry a tune. I have good lung capacity#I have. a weird range.#but anyway it's not exactly that I think I'm good at singing it's that I'm Proud of my voice despite not exactly Liking it#I don't know. if anyone is reading this far. hi#shoutout to 12 year old me determinedly practicing my Evil Villain Voice which was just an excuse to try and yell masculinely#also shoutout to all ages me hearing songs sung by men and thinking Well Why Shouldn't I Be Able To Do This
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i think cis people should no longer be allowed to make commentary youtube videos about Lilly Tino
#like YES i agree that the kurt cobain thing is fucked up and that she shouldn't be telling managers about accidental misgendering#but today i saw someone reacting to her say:#her trying to teach young kids (4-5) about transgender people is inappropriate because they dont need to know about that and because they sh#ouldnt need to worry about misgendering other kids#(she also said this about pronouns when lilly talked about pronouns in a 'teaching kids' way)#that it's creepy to refer to your genitalia as food (she was on tiktok and she couldve like gotten banned or something if she had been sayi#ng vagina)#that she shouldn't talk about her bottom surgery in public#that her making a video about thinking GWEN STACY is trans is weird#like the kurt cobain one definitely is but?? this was just a woman saying 'hey this character is probably trans :)'#she said that spiderman is a kid's thing so people dont need to be projecting onto characters#and she also said that lilly is part of the reason people are queerphobic (the creator is also queer btw) which is just.. not true#people have been doing this for years before lilly babes!!!!#anyway. just my two cents. either react to without being transohobic or dokt react at all#note: i am not endoring lilly or anything i just think that maybe people criticising her should be. trans people.
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on further reflection maybe it isn't out of character that i liked the kens over the barbies when a lot of the joke is how the barbies are all blandly nice and hypercompetent which as you may know is like my single most uninterested gender dynamic for fictional characters
#i shouldn't be saying any new opinions without rewatching the movie maybe fan response & hindsight is biasing me but it's like#oh you have men that are allowed to be silly and cringe but the women are all nice and have only minor surface level flaws? cool im bored#and the human characters honestly fall into a similar trope. the human women have *more* personality but still very little.#margot barbie as i remember her didn't really. have any flaws or do anything really wrong but she at least had desires#so she's *better* than the others. none of the other barbies except weird barbie are even distinguishable smh#i mean issa rae had the funniest jokes when she was allowed to speak but that's about it.#avpost#there's a reason the main barbies sequence i can remember is when they pretend to be stupid to get the kens to like mansplain to them#bc it was the one time the female characters were allowed to be like. silly. and not boring or trying to force an unearned serious beat.#unfortunately the idea of bad and/or cringefail women is antithetical to a movie like this but idk that's the characters i actually enjoy .#weird barbie could have at least been cringefail but she's still. hypercompetent too. :-/#idk maybe on repeated viewings ill catch more Subtle Flaw Nuance that makes the female characters less boring to me but#it just feels like based on what the movie was going for they were targeting all my personal least fave female character tropes#well meaning liberal babys first feminism media can fall into this trope of goofy men with competent nice women and its soooo dull.#like not always i have enjoyed my fair share of well meaning liberal baby's first feminism media. i have a soft spot 4 it.#but its usually things where the women have conflict *with each other*. or its horror media. so the women aren't all perfect/nice.
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girl help.
#having a crisis of Gender™️#bc I was so comfortable with nonbinary for so long#but now the more comfortable I get in my lesbianism#the more I'm starting to feel connected to (my) womanhood#which at first I felt like I didn't have a particular connection to Anything#nonbinary just felt Right at the time for me#even genderfluid at one point#but now I'm starting to feel more of a comfort and connection to being a woman (again?)#but I feel this weird guilt bc it's been years and I feel like a fraud or smth#but I guess if being a woman and maybe butch/masc lesbian is the conclusion that feels best#then I shouldn't force myself into a label that no longer suits me??#(btw I <3 nonbinary lesbians and think they are all very valid this is just My Own Feelings)#sid rambles
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