#there might also be a few errors but i am so ready to have this off of my chest i'll go back and proof or edit if i need to later

[mjjune]

How To Have a Good Beta Reading Experience (or: what I've learned from 3 years of beta reading)

So lately I've been having a lot of discussions about beta reading with my discord groups so I thought I would write it out here and also share some resources I've used over the years.

This is mostly by and for writers, however readers can learn from this post as well!

DISCLAIMER: I'm by no means a writing expert, but I have been either beta reading others' books, or having my own stories beta read consistently since 2020. THIS IS ALL PERSONAL EXPERIENCE/OPINION. Others may agree or disagree ❤️

Here are the main points I'm going to talk about in this post, and I'll do it under the cut to save your dash space:

Understanding Alpha vs. Beta Readers

Choosing Readers

Being Clear About Feedback

Swapping / Compensation

The Importance of Writing Community/Groups

Websites/Resources for Finding Beta Readers

1. Understanding Alphas vs. Betas

So this is extremely important and for me, this may be the difference between me finishing your book or not. Many times, especially from new writers who had never had anyone read their work before, had extremely rough drafts that were barely coherent and were NOT beta ready, but asked me to beta read. I am not a person who can look past extensive grammar errors, nor am I the kind of person who will sit and fix all your grammar line-by-line for you.

Alpha Readers - for first/second drafts

Beta Readers - for polished drafts

It is ok for alpha reads to be unpolished and have grammar issues, and it's even ok if they have plot issues, continuity errors, etc. Because alpha readers are there for that purpose: to be the first eyes on your story and help you find and fix those issues.

The issue I have had over and over, though, is people asking for a beta reader when what they really needed was an alpha. I went in expecting a polished draft and got someone's Draft 0. In some cases, I got 100k drafts where the writer obviously had no idea how to format dialogue grammar and every single dialogue was wrong. Obviously this made me slow and in many cases, unable to finish.

Alpha readers will go in expecting it to be unpolished, and will be prepared to look past grammar/stylistic errors in order to focus on the big picture issues (plot holes, character consistency, pacing/engagement issues, etc). A Beta may be too frustrated by an unpolished draft to finish it or provide the feedback you're looking for. If you have been experiencing a lot of betas backing out and not finishing your work, you might consider this as a possible reason why.

I would also recommend, if you have never had anyone read your work before, even if you have had multiple drafts, it might be safest to ask for alphas rather than betas.

A quick way to see if your work is beta ready (again, personal experience): Pick up a published book from the shelf in your genre. Does your book read similarly? Does your formatting & grammar look the same? Bonus: read it out loud! If reading the published book out loud is significantly easier than reading yours out loud, you're probably in the alpha stage.

TL;DR: Understand your draft and which level of reader your draft is ready for. Know the difference between polished and unpolished, and be upfront about it.

2. Choosing Alphas/Betas

You may not like it but: Just because someone is your friend, real life or online, does not mean they will make a good reader for you.

#1 MOST IMPORTANT: GET READERS WHO LIKE & REGULARLY READ YOUR GENRE!

I cannot stress this enough. As someone who writes vampire content, I cannot begin to express to you the amount of useless comments I got from readers who had clearly never read a vampire book in their life.

You need someone who is familiar with your genre and you likes your synopsis/blurb.

Caveat: that said, I did find a few great betas who had never read vampire content before and gave awesome feedback. However, these readers knew and admitted they knew nothing about the paranormal genre, and because of that did not make any comments on worldbuilding, instead sticking to plot and character development only. Some readers can't make this separation.

Another thing I would recommend, especially if you are swapping or the beta reader is also a writer/on writeblr, I would recommend reading their writing before having them beta read. If you read their excerpts and see that it's really unpolished or a style that's vastly different than yours, that might change whether you want them to read for you.

In my most recent beta round, I used a google form to do a quick survey to see who was interested in beta reading. This worked really well for me and I would recommend it! You can also use this to make all potential readers agree to not share/distribute/plagiarize your work, so you have it in writing just in case someone were to try something.

This was also a great way to see which genres they usually read and how many times they have beta read in the past!

TL;DR: Get readers who LIKE your genre. Read their writing and see how they write. Use an online signup form to narrow down.

3. Be Clear About The Type of Feedback You Want

This is perhaps the second most important thing when you get readers. Many readers will shy away from reading your work if you have nothing in mind for them to look out for. Also, being clear about this shows that you 1) know it isn't perfect and needs work and 2) you have insight into what the issues already are.

For Alphas, these traits are what I have found to be the most helpful:

Immediate inline reactions - particularly emotional engagement and pointing out lines that resonated with them

NO grammar/stylistic comments (unless incomprehensible)

Questioning of worldbuilding, character decisions, and character development - particularly if confusing or unclear

Comments on action sequences & their readability

Comments on believability of the plot points/progression

For Betas, these are what have been most helpful to me:

Comments on grammar, especially if repetitive

Stylistic comments, particularly for over-used words or noticeably repetitive sentence structures

Comments on pacing

Comments on plot initiation point and buildup/execution of the climax

Not questioning my worldbuilding/plot and trusting that what I have written is intentional. Only pointing out areas that have on-page evidence of inconsistencies.

Everything above is simply personal preference. You might find other comments to be better for alphas/betas. However, being upfront about which comments you want or don't want can drastically change which people want to read for you!

Some readers are obsessed with in-depth inline grammar/style comments, some aren't at all. Some writers LOVE these in-depth grammar comments, and some don't. Being clear about what you want is the best way to make sure you and your readers are compatible for the stage of editing you're at.

4. Swapping / Compensation

So this one I might have a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I wanted to cover it because so many people talk about it on here and other sites.

Again, based on my personal experience, swapping and compensation does not mean you're going to get better feedback or have a better experience or relationship with readers.

For the record, for everyone who beta reads for me—and finishes—I always offer to read theirs, even if it's a genre I don't like.

Personally, I have never tried compensation (re: money) for beta readers. However, there are a few issues I've come across with swapping:

Mine was beta ready and theirs was unpolished first draft

Our types of feedback didn't align

Our genre preferences didn't align

Their feedback was nowhere near as high quality or constructive as mine

In these cases, one or both of us burnt out on reading the others' work, and then we'd both bail. Especially with #4, it was very disheartening for me to spend hours finding their plot holes, helping them come up with ways to fix them, for them to then write 1 paragraph about what they thought of my story that was extremely surface level. To me, that wasn't even a swap, and was practically worthless. There was even one who got sensitive about the feedback I was providing (which was a queer sensitivity read) and then left almost identical comments on my story, which weren't even relevant. It was like revenge-commenting.

All this to say: I have had positive experiences with swaps. My alpha for twtr was a swap and I really enjoy her work and she enjoys mine, and we will probably continue to swap forever.

This goes back to #2 above: be picky & choose your readers well. Your story is your baby, and it deserves to be critiqued by people who value you and your story, and want to help you make it the best possible version of itself.

To summarize, I have had two good swapping experiences. I have had 10+ good uncompensated betas—with an offer for me to read their stuff when it's ready. Do with that what you will.

5. Writing Community / Groups

On to a more positive note! I have had the best experience here on writeblr, and this is coming from someone who has tried multiple other communities (which I discuss in the last section below). Having my own discord server from tumblr, joining a few other writers' discord servers, has completely changed the game regarding finding consistent betas, more resources, and just having an overall much more positive time writing and editing.

Writeblr keeps me grounded, keeps me hopeful, and even if I share something that doesn't get tons of notes, it's so nice to have interaction. It's so nice to give and get back, consistently.

I do want to emphasize the importance of giving to get back. If no one is liking/interacting with your excerpts, tag/ask games, etc. then that's probably because you're not interacting with them! It's very important to show interest in other people's work!!

I'm not saying you need to jump onto everyone's taglists for all their wips, but join the ones that genuinely interest you the most. Play in ask/tag games consistently. Follow writers back who follow you (if they post things you're interested in, ofc).

I have the same amount of followers as the people I follow right now, and I think that goes to show that people reciprocate here on writeblr! It's a lovely community and don't be afraid to reach out ❤️

I have found almost ALL my recent betas from my tumblr and discord groups. They have been lovely so far and I would highly recommend building up community here if you are interested in finding betas.

6. Websites/Resources for Finding Betas

Alright, last section. Thanks for bearing with me. I'm going to go through the sites I have used, and why I still use them, or why I dropped them.

Scribophile

So, for starters, this is one I don't use anymore. This was the site I first used when I had a polished draft in 2020 and had no idea how to get feedback. Essentially, they have a point-system. The more comments you make, the more points you get, and then when you have 3 points, you can post a chapter. It continues in a cycle.

Pros: Personally, I think the site helped me a lot in realizing what a bad critique looks like (which is helpful!) and also helped me learn which comments/feedback types work for me, and which don't. I don't regret my time there by any means, and I found one life-long friend and beta reader there I wouldn't trade for the world. It also allows you to post/remove your story and the readers don't have direct access to it—meaning if they want to download/steal/plagiarize, they'd have to copy and paste or screenshot chapter by chapter. It's a little safety precaution.

Cons: It's not the best place to get constructive feedback. The issue with their system is it encourages quantity over quality in critiques. Because of that, you'll get strangers rewriting your entire chapter in their own style so they get 2-3 points for one critique, but... was any of it actually helpful to you? Maybe, maybe not. It's also random, so you can't control who comments on your stuff, and they might just comment to get points even if they hate your genre. I also don't think it's fair to have to do 3-5 chapter critiques in order to save up enough points to post ONE chapter of your own. And if you want to post your story for full beta reads and control who reads it and who doesn't, you have to subscribe monthly.

So I keep an eye on it occasionally to look through their forums on writing, agents, publishing, etc. But most of the forums gets nasty, because there are a lot of really pretentious writers who think they know all the rules. If you join small groups (e.g. sub-groups based on diversity, etc) they tend to have better and more meaningful discussions.

Personally, I would never use it for beta/alpha/feedback ever again. This is the site where most of my bad swaps came from. But you might find it useful! So I thought I would share it.

Nanowrimo Forums

This is another one I don't use anymore, but might consider reusing in the future. The biggest issue I have with nanowrimo is that a lot, and I mean A LOT, of these participants are first-time writers and have no concept of what polished vs. unpolished even means. I did find two really good swaps there (actually the only two good full swaps I've had) but those were very hard to find.

There is also the issue that a good chunk of them only write during November, not year round. So for finding consistent, year-long partners, this is not the best option. I'm a member of 2 discords that have all fallen silent as soon as Nano actually ended.

Also, in my experience, asking questions about anything related to "controversial" topics (especially trans and minority ethnic groups) becomes toxic very quick, which is unfortunate. There are even a few moderators who seem to be contributing to the toxic/immature discussions rather than fixing them/shutting them down, which is the main reason I stopped using it.

However, it's a GREAT place to get free, simple covers! Their artisan section is fantastic and there are a lot of people there willing to make basic covers/banners for you for free.

BetaBooks

I've only been using this one about a month so far, but I'm really liking it. It's set up that you can invite betas to your story specifically, or you can look through a beta reader library, read their profiles, and invite them to see if they're interested.

This is essentially an alternative to Scribophile. It allows you to post your story online and find betas and become a beta.

Why I like it better than Scribophile: it's not a point-based system, meaning it's uncompensated so the readers have nothing to gain other than enjoying/helping your story. There's no hard feelings if someone bails. It allows you to see all comments in one place (which Scrib can't do). (And with discount codes found through google, it's cheaper, too. Message me if you need help with this 👀)

It also is all online, easily removable, so readers would have to copy/paste or screenshot chapter-by-chapter to steal it. So again, just a little safety net that makes me feel better.

Writeblr

Yep, that's right. Right here. Actually right here on tumblr has been where I have found the most beta readers and in the shortest time. I talked about this in the section before so I won't regurgitate. But there's a reason why this community is so long-lasting. It really is the best one out there I've found.

TL;DR / IN CONCLUSION:

Know where your book is in terms of reader-readiness. Know the difference between alphas/betas and polished/unpolished. Know the types of feedback that work for you and specifically request it when recruiting betas.

Interact with a community. Give interaction in order to receive, and don't expect people to reblog/like your content if you don't reach out first. Join small, niche writing community discords. Find like-minded writers.

Decide to swap or not, but this won't make or break you.

There are many writing communities out there designed to help you not only find betas, to provide beta-reading feedback forms and commentary. Try them out and see what works best for you.

And above all, thank Writeblr for being such a lovely community ❤️

[tarotwithdanise]

Your future best friend's personality

1 - 2 - 3

SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and the reading itself belong to me. I use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider. If saved/downloaded the divider use a proper credits and tag/mention along my acc @tarotwithdanise. Expect grammatical errors with this reading, bear with it because english isn't my mother tongue.

💌 check out my back-up account @danisetarot bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account (daniseallure@gmail.com)

Pile one

This is someone who already on their spiritual awakening. They are someone who you can't just tricked and fooled easily, this person makes you think twice of all your actions. They are smart people, if you play trick ways, they will know it immediately without any hesitation because they are mastermind. You will meet this person to any spiritual groups and places. It can be that this is where they work or they're someone who used to teach others. People come at them to ask for their advices, they're great mentor. They like to inspire and be inspired. They might come off as mysterious and secretive individual too. You two will create a strong foundation of friendships. It's not yet the right time to reveal themselves fully to you. But all of i had said was the highlights of them.

Pile two

-this gonna be long compared to previous pile, this person is like an open book.

If I were describe this person, they always look at the bigger picture. Most likely, this is is someone who have vision board or they already have an idea what they want to be in the future. Most likely this person is someone who have a young spirit or probably younger than you. They enjoy and love to try new things, they're adventurous and brave individual. They're quite rare individual and ready for any change that surrounds them, in fact they're risk taker and will enjoy traveling around and across each country - they're adventurous individual. I see that they're talkative individual, someone who likes to share their MU's and crushes to you. They're typically jolly and has an extrovert personality, they like encouraging people. If I am not mistaken this person is probably the one who will try to get you out of your comfort zone. I picking up a strong masculine energy so they maybe a boy? but they can also be a girl that just embodied a masculinity. The cons of their traits is that, they experience unstable mental health and might have a very childish attitude, they probably has a lot of break downs with their past that's why. It's like they see their past self to you, that's why they're trying their best to help you as they can with pure intention.

They might be young but their experiences is level up into the next level that most of their ages doesn't yet uncover. I do also see here that even though they not really a ‘star pupil’ or a ‘straight A's pupil’ their classmates or their co-workers likes them to be their leader ; someone who will guide and lead them into a project or teamwork. Some people feels very irritated towards them because they're very jolly, hyper and friendly, somehow their friendliness can affect you because you only have them while they have many choices but what's more interesting here is that they're longing always for your presence, you maybe way more matured and intelligent when it's comes to logic rather than them so this is one of reason why few people take an advantage to their innocent and kindness. And what else? They prefer and like more to share their problems and secrets to you more rather than to their other friends. Like they typically see you as their only lifetime best friend while the rest of their friends is temporary. You tickled this person heart, you got their full trust. This feels like a friendship between a straight forward and trash talker person with their wild and funny friend.

Pile three

This is someone who maybe from a well-off family, it's either the relationship with their family is okay or in other way, it's broken. This is someone who is same age as yours, they likes traveling whether inside or outside of country. They also likes country music and artists. They are not emotionally stable and may need someone to lean on. It's hard for them to somehow find balance between two choices. This friendship may lead from friends to lovers, if both of you will pursued this connection. They may not be good at decision making but they are kind person and will do everything to share the life they have to their friends and other people. This person might own atleast one pet at their home and probably someone who may like the color of black. They maybe act spoiled and stupid sometimes but they're totally kind, it's just they used to act one. They may have an unpredictable nature and maybe someone who hold a lot of responsibilities even though they can't.

© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work in any other social media platforms with or without my explicit permission.

[scaratastic]

My love.

in which how male genshin characters shows their love to you. ( might contain some grammatical error or even spelling mistakes idk i don't proofread cus we die like real men /j )

fluff

Kaeya

many people said that he's most likely to cheat on his s/o when in fact, it is quite impossible for him to do that.

man certainly has abandonment issues after losing both of his dads and his brother. sorry

i personally view him as the type to show you how much he loves you both by actions and words but slightly more to words (?) .

like he'd tease you about how beautiful you look, how gorgeous you truly are etc during times when he just feels like it but there's also time where he just wants to feel your body against his own, arms securing your body while inhaling your scent as you both cuddled before heading off to dreamland.

he'd certainly tease you during random times which will make you get all flustered. this man is full of surprises.

even if he's the type to always joke around and tease you nonstop, he'll always make sure that you know just how much he loves and cherish your existence in his life!

Diluc

he's the type of guy who'd buy you random gifts or give you some flowers that has special meanings behind it.

dinner dates or any type of dates that you prefer. yes, he loves to spoil you.

list all the things that you want, he'll get them for you. even if it is impossible, he'll find a way.

"if you're happy, then i am happy."

he gives everything to you. his love, his trust, himself, literally everything.

he might be a man of a few words and very awkward during the early stage of your relationship but he'll warm up later.

waking up in the morning with him cuddling you hehe

i can actually see him being a bit clingy here, specially when he overworked himself for the past few days. he'll definitely not let you go even if you squirmed and whined, reminding him that he has to wake up or he'll be late for work.

overall a very caring, kind, polite and a bit clingy type of lover. so take care of him please 🙏

Bennett

he would collect any pretty items on his adventures and give them to you as a suprise.

definitely brags about how you are literally so amazing and the best human to ever exist in teyvat to everyone.

"[Name] is just so amazing ! They can fight, they can cook, they can clean—" and so, the list of him praising you goes on.

adventures with him as a date. although he swore that the route that he chose for the both of you to walk through was literally clear a few hours ago, why there's so many monster there now ?

poor boy thinks that it's because of his bad luck. but hey, atleast he got the chance to admire your fighting skills while getting ready to brag about this cool moment of you to katheryne and his friends.

he's just smitten over you okay

Razor

he's clingy.

you can't blame him though, sometimes you just get so busy that you don't have time to visit him in Wolvendom.

he knows your scent and probably recognised the sound of your footsteps so whenever you came to visit, he's already waiting for you on the entrance of Wolvendom.

would escort you to a safe place before asking you to sit as he lays down with his head on top of your leg and buried his face to your stomach.

silently asks you to play with his hair because it's comforting.

okay but just imagine you both in that position beneath a tree, and then you read or tell him a story.

he would grow curious about it and asks questions from time to time. oh, and his reactions are priceless.

like he'd gasp, gets excited when the character from the story that you told him was about to have a good ending and probably huffs and groan when the story did not go well.

picnincs with him mhm. feed him and he's all red. would probably return the favor to you.

Albedo

he probably doesn't allow you to visit him when he's in dragonspine too much because he's worried about you.

but when you do visit him though, he'd ask you to sit down on the chair he provided while lending youb a hot drink to warm yourself up.

this little visit would often turn into study dates. when he sees you curiously observed his movements, he would ask you to come to him as he lends you his notes and explains to you what is his goal and so on.

yes, he won't just leave his job for you. but he'll talk and try to start a conversation with you just so you won't feel lonely and such. what do you expect from a workaholic anyw

would make some things that he thinks you'd like from alchemy and gives it to you.

"it reminds me of you.. so please, take it."

Venti

a date in the tavern.

him flirting like crazy with you as you turned red and shamelessly flirt back. Diluc often kicks your drunk ass and your boyfriend out of the tavern because of this though.

if your're not the type to enjoy alcohol or doesn't like the idea of getting drunk with your boyfriend in the tavern as a date though, then don't worry ! this lil boyfriend of yours got it covered.

would probably try and convince you to sneak out and join him stargaze.

while you're both stargazing, he'd summon his lyre and plays with it while humming a soft tune that'll make the night much more comfortable and enjoyable.

you both would play around like kids afterwards, making some of the monsters notice your presence but venti would take care of them though ;)

during random times, he would just stare and admire you silently.

"have anyone told you that you look absolutely gorgeous ?"

throws random compliments during the most random time. like he'd literally say "you're very pretty you know." after you clear out a hilichurl camp and ofc you'd go like "what"

he's unpredictable. much like kaeya, he is full of surprises. so be prepared of whatever plan that he has in his mind.

njdndjdndjd i still have no scara and no primos i'm about to cry, but anyw should i do this for other characters as well ?

[neuroticbookworm]

I was not planning on writing a Step by Step analysis this week, because my mind was too frayed from all the anticipation for the next episode. But then @lurkingshan posted this, and it knocked something loose in my brain, and now here I am.

Shan talks about how even though Jeng and Pat felt the spark of desire when they met a couple of times before they became boss and subordinate, once they knew they had to be professional, they dialed it back using very different mechanisms.

Jeng chose to keep his emotions under control in the workplace, and he harbored and nurtured those feelings in private. Pat, on the other hand, was already under stress in the workplace, and as @ginnymoonbeam and @bengiyo discuss here, he also misinterprets the initial strict mentoring from Jeng as proof that the spark he felt must've been all in his head. That his gaydar made an error, and therefore Jeng must be straight.

So when episode 8 begins, the mutual interest from their initial interactions is the only thing Jeng knows for certain, to assume that Pat might want a relationship with him. He also tells Tae that Pat never looks at him the way he looks at Pat, which makes the confession a pretty huge leap of faith from Jeng.

In the dance floor confession, Jeng observes that Pat is not ready for another relationship yet. He still confesses his feelings, but adds that he can be the safe space for Pat if that is all he wants from him. And that he will never want for anything more. He has already resigned himself here to the fate that he might never get to be Pat's boyfriend.

@respectthepetty explains here that Jeng would've fully gone along with Pat's understanding that Jeng is straight. He was forced to show his hand and come out when Pat referred to himself as Jeng's friend. Here, Jeng was no longer planning on making his feelings clear to Pat. He had no choice but to do it.

In the aftermath, Pat reacts with confusion, dawning realization and horror, and we know that Pat is reeling from this information because his mind is now doing a speedrun of all of their interactions and reevaluating them with the fact that Jeng is gay. But Jeng, oh my poor Jeng, thinks Pat is horrified for two reasons: the previously stated reason offered by his rational and logical brain, and the reason offered by his panicked and frantic brain that Pat is horrified by his advances, and that Pat never liked him in the first place. That he was utterly and completely wrong, right from the glass jelly incident. This thought may not have found deep roots in his mind yet, but it is there, floating and waiting for confirmation.

Now, some speculation for episode 9 (aka clowning). We see Pat has taken the day off, which further fuels Jeng's fears. And later Pat looks visibly unmoored and exhausted, like he hasn't slept for a few nights in a row. I was talking to @chicademartinica and she mentioned how Pat looks like he is disassociating in this episode. And I agree, he looks fully out of it.

Whatever happens that forces Jeng to confess AGAIN, I don't know yet. But what I do know is that there is a high possibility that Pat might say no after this confession, because he needs more time to process things. But, in Jeng's mind, that floating thought will finally get its confirmation and take root, and it will go, AHA I KNEW IT, HE HAS NEVER LIKED YOU, EVER.

I know we are all anxiously waiting for the slowburn to end (hopefully it'll happen before the sun swallows us whole), but we may need to hold our horses. Because the possible roadmap I see right now is: Jeng confesses -> Pat says no -> Jeng thinks Pat has never liked him and drowns himself (and us) in angst -> Pat finally finishes thinking and realizes that he does like Jeng -> Pat tries to tell Jeng -> Jeng is already packing his suitcases to flee the country OR Jeng has built his mental walls so high that Put can't get through to him without a massive effort -> Pat convinces Jeng to hear him out -> They finally sit down and talk to each other -> JengPat FINALLY BURNS

My fellow sufferers of this cursed show, I will be the happiest clown if I get proven wrong, but I think it will take a while for these two to work this mess out, and I think it might take more than one episode *runs*

[lala3244]

When the protectors are gone

Hello! First time writing for obey me ! I hope you will like it.

This is a first part, but depending of the response I might do more as I have a lot of ideas for the rest.

Also, english isn't my first language so I am sorry for any grammatical errors and other... and I didn't proofread it.

I wanted to say that the beginning is quite gorish but it's not the aim of my story :) so it stops after the description

WARNING: Description of torture, blood, cutting, eating flesh (if you think of anymore)

NEXT

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I have been for a few months as an exchange student in the Devildom, getting used to it was hard but it got harder when Lord Diavolo decided to bring another human for the exchange program. All the demons got infatuated with the new student, Amelia and I understood them. She was prettier and sweeter and nicer, and everything I wasn’t. The few times I talked to her I couldn’t blame the demons for loving her more but it didn’t lessen the betrayal I felt. I was becoming a nuisance to them when they had to walk with me to RAD when they’d rather be with her. If she wanted to talk to me, they would always come and interfere with our discussion. It was actually nice to speak to another human being but they wouldn’t let us or not for long. My only friends were the other exchange students from Purgatory Hall. They liked Amelia but they didn’t forget me and they saw what the brothers were doing to me. I would spend all my free time with them. 

One time, I even spent a whole week with them and none of them noticed it until Amelia pointed out that I was gone. I would walk to RAD with all of them but once the boys from the Purgatory Hall greeted me, they would all leave without even a glance. I tried to keep a happy front whenever I was with the angels as they did everything they could to make me happy but once I was at the Hall of Lamentation being ignored by everyone, my facade would crack and I would hide in my room. They never called me when dinner was ready. It was always Amelia who came to fetch me. I couldn’t hate her, she’s never done anything wrong and she was always thoughtful. We would get on great if it weren’t for the brothers always snatching her away. I felt truly alone, my protectors were gone even though they were just a few feet away from me but never caring. I guess I was destined to always be alone .

One day, we all walked to RAD but this time the two angels and the sorcerer weren’t there to greet me. I still followed the group but as usual they were ignoring me. I could see Amelia looking over her shoulders and trying to bring the attention to me but she failed several times. I sighed, annoyed with all of that. I decided to visit Lord Diavolo and ask him if I could go back to the human realm for a few days. I was walking towards his office when I could sense people looking at me. It had been like that for a few weeks now. I sped up, worried and I was almost running when I bumped into the Prince. He caught me and laughed. I smiled, embarrassed by what had just happened. “Hmm, Good morning Diavolo, I wanted to see you and ask if I could go to the human realm for a few days please?”. He looked at me but then shook his head and answered negatively. I stopped listening to what he was saying and walked away with tears in my eyes. 

I went to the bathroom to calm down, I couldn’t believe he would refuse me this simple request when I have been having a hard time because of him and them. He used to call me over to his castle to have tea but now he called Amelia all the time. While I was standing in front of the mirror, five demons entered the room, chattering. They all stopped when they saw me. I looked at them through the mirror and I saw them looking at each other with a dark grin on their faces. One of them approached me, and cornered me against the sink. My heart was beating faster and I was starting to get scared. Never before, other demons would approach me. I guess they all saw how the brothers treated me and that I was left on my own device for a few weeks now. 

The demon close to me started to say “Well, isn't it the human all alone.” The demon smiled but it wasn’t in any way friendly. The other four after summoning their demon form started to get closer and the first demon grabbed my wrist. I tried to snatch it away but the others moved all at the same time and grabbed each of my limbs. They roughly put me down on the floor. I hit my head on the floor and got dizzy. I tried to scream but a hand was on my mouth before a sound could escape. They shredded my clothes leaving me in my underwear. I tried to move but I couldn’t. Two of the demons were on my left leg, they started to cut through my skin with their claws. I closed my eyes at the pain but suddenly I felt an even worse pain. I looked to see one of them biting a morsel in my leg. I was terrorised by the scene, I was being eaten alive by demons. 

While this happened, the one holding my left arm dislocated it and started to cut through the flesh of my armpit as a butcher would do to prepare the meat they would sell. The one muffling me was cutting through my cheek, going over and over to deepen the wound. The one holding my right arm cut through the top of my chest leaving shallow cuts that he would go over again to make them deep. The one holding my right leg was carving letters on my stomach, first a “W” then a “H”. I managed to scream for a few seconds when the one with their hand on my mouth took it off to wipe their hands on their shirt. They would all talk to each other while torturing me, they were so proud they could finally have a human body to play with and they couldn’t wait to have my soul which was the brightest they’d ever seen. During this traumatic experience, I could hear a door opening and all of a sudden they all stopped doing what they were doing and looked at the door. I started to cry even more, closing my eyes, believing it was another one of their friends but in a few seconds, the hands that were touching me left one after the other. I could hear some noise but I was so overwhelmed by the pain that it didn’t register in my mind. Suddenly, I felt someone grabbing me gently and holding me close to their chest. I finally opened my eyes and saw Mammon, cradling me and saying “I’m sorry” over and over. I turned my head and saw 5 bodies standing up in reverse with their heads inside the floor of the bathroom. 

I giggled at the sight, delirious from the pain and probably from the blood loss. I looked at Mammon and using my “healthy” hand, I cupped his cheek wiping the tears flowing from his eyes. He was rocking me, eyes staring at the blood on the floor, repeating “sorry”. I tried to snap him out of it and slowly he looked at me, eyes watery. I smiled at him, relieved and thankful that he saved my life. “Mammon?”. He snapped out of it and grabbed his D.D.D. I could hear the conversation, Lucifer seemed pissed that Mammon interrupted him because of me but he heard the urgency in his brother’s voice and caved in to come and see what it was about. The first born arrived a few minutes later, annoyed and saw the five bodies upside down with their heads stuck on the floor, he stopped but he carried on looking. He saw the big puddle of blood just in front of us and he saw my form shivering in Mammon’s arms, bloody. He stood there speechless for a few seconds before moving into action. He called Barbatos for him to bring some medicine and he knew that Solomon, the sorcerer, was back from his errands so he would be available to tend to my wounds. Simeon, the angel who was back from the celestial realm, heard the commotion and entered the room. He gasped loudly and ran to kneel next to me using his healing powers to stop the bleeding.  Unbelievably, I was still awake after the ordeal and could hear and feel everything. Solomon arrived shortly after Simeon and also knelt near me, looked at me to assess the injuries, he noticed my dislocated shoulder and put it back in place while I screamed and Everyone was quiet for a while. He soothed me down with sweet words telling me I was strong and I should be proud of myself. I laughed bitterly as my eyes were tearing because of the irony. I was just a meek human in a world of demons and they had the upper-hand if it weren’t for another demon. Mammon was still cuddling me, whispering words I couldn’t understand as all my senses were overwhelmed in pain. Solomon and Simeon spoke between them and decided that I should stay with them. Despite my pain, I stopped them and told them I wanted to be in my room. Diavolo had agreed that I could bring my cat IF he stayed in my bedroom and I agreed to it as my cat was a scaredy cat so I wanted to stay in my room with my cat. If I had to heal he would help me. They each looked at each other but they all agreed silently. Mammon stood up as if I weighed nothing and started to walk back to HoL. During the walk I fell asleep, comforted by the second born’s warmth and steady breathing. 

When I woke up, I was in my bed, my cat curled up in my arms but I was still wearing the same clothes that I was wearing when I was attacked. I felt someone moving and I heard “So you awake?” I looked up and saw the beautiful angel sitting down on the bed next to me. I smiled, happy to see a friendly face. I started to scratch my face but Simeon stopped me, I looked at him confused. “You were going to scratch your wound on your cheek, it would be a bad idea.”. Then I realised that I was covered in deep wounds that would throb every second. I removed the sheet off my body with my valid arm and saw all the blood covering me. I sighed, it will be difficult to take a shower in the next few days as I couldn’t move my left arm. I started to speak embarrassed “Simeon? I need to take a shower and get some clean clothes, do you… do you think you can help me?” I didn’t look at him but I heard him hum in agreement and went to the bathroom. I heard the water running and took my D.D.D to look at the time. It was late evening, I slept all afternoon and missed dinner but still I had no messages from any of the brothers or of Lord Diavolo. My heart sank a bit, disappointed by the lack of worry from my supposedly protectors. 

The angel arrived and picked me up, princess style, careful of not touching or putting any pressure on my wounds. We entered the bathroom and he put my feet on the floor and I tried to stay up without falling down. I put my valid arm on his forearm to keep myself from falling. I could see he was a bit embarrassed at the situation and so was I but I couldn’t ask anyone else. 

I started to unbutton my uniform and Simeon helped me with the rest, he helped me to get inside the bath and as I sat down with great difficulty because of the cuts on my leg, he undressed himself. He sat behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I put my head back on his chest and we stayed in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. I started to relax, enjoying the angelic aura he was emitting. I put my hands on his and started to stroke them, they felt so soft, it was really soothing. After a while, I put my hair in the water to get rid of the blood in them and he grabbed my bottle of shampoo to pour some on his hands. He washed my hair taking his time to take the dried blood out. I hummed in delight at the fact that someone was looking after me. He helped me rinse my hair and wash the parts of my body I couldn’t get. 

When I was cleaned, he picked me up from the waist to stand up so I wouldn’t put too much pressure on my injured leg. He grabbed a towel and wrapped me in it. He picked me up again and laid me down on the bed. I looked at him quizzically. “Solomon was home concocting a balm to help with your wounds so we will have to apply it on clean skin.” I nodded and Solomon arrived at that moment. I moved the towel so it was around my chest. They both knelt next to me each on one side and started applying the balm onto my body. If I weren’t in pain I would have been really embarrassed at the situation; naked, on my bed, with two beautiful men who were massaging my body. I don’t know what spell he used but once the concoction was applied, I could feel the cuts and bites getting healed slowly and the pain was fading away. I was falling asleep as the massage seemed to last longer than it should have but I was not one to complain and when they stopped I opened my eyes. I gazed at the two men who were watching me with an indescribable look. I smiled slowly and asked them to help me get dressed for bed. Simeon agreed to help and put me to bed. “Simeon? Could you stay till I fall asleep please?”, “Of course, darling, whatever you need.” I cuddled up to his side and fell asleep straight away. 

I woke up with my alarm and felt a weight on my chest. I turned around and saw some white-haired coming from under the duvet. I frowned as Simeon had black hair and in my mind half asleep, it didn’t make any sense. I removed the duvet and realised it was Mammon. I laughed quietly at my stupidity and tried to move but the arm around me kept holding me tighter. I slightly nudged Mammon to wake him up and he groaned. I finally got free from him and sat up. My mind was getting clearer and nudged the demon again and asked him why he was there. He mumbled something I didn’t get so I leaned over him and asked the question again. He opened his eyes and got flustered at our closeness. I smiled gently and waited patiently for him to answer. He regained his composure somehow and explained that he couldn’t fall asleep so he came to see and saw the angel watching me sleeping and told him he could take over so Simeon could go back home and sleep. I nodded, happy with his reply. I took my phone and sent a message to Simeon, asking if he got home okay and thanking him for everything he did for me. He replied with a few typos but I got his message. I needed to put some ointment on my injuries in the morning. 

I stood up to have some breakfast without waiting for the second born but I had forgotten a tiny problem. STAIRS! I had trouble bending my left knee as some tendons were irritated by the claws’ marks. So I breathed in, held the ramp and took one step at the time. I heard people chatting downstairs so some of my housemates were already up. I was actually dreading seeing them, I didn’t want to see pity in their eyes. They should feel guilty, not pity. I didn’t have time to finish my thought as someone picked me up. “Ya’re lucky the Great Mammon feels pretty generous so I’ll help ya get down those stairs!”. I laughed “Thank you, Oh Great Mammon!”. He lowered me down at the bottom of the stairs and we walked arm in arm to the breakfast room. When we entered, everyone stopped talking and they were all staring at me. Amelia gasped loudly, her eyes watering. I guessed Lucifer downplayed what happened so the other wouldn’t worry too much. Mammon helped me sit down on my chair and went to grab a plate with all the food he could put on it. I looked at everyone around the table and they were all looking away from me, guilt showing on their faces. I was smirking, glad they were feeling this way even though I had to be tortured for them to remember I existed. Lucifer, who was also avoiding my gaze, told me that I was to stay home while I healed and each day one of them would stay with me for the day. I nodded, wondering how awkward our days were going to be…

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Thank you for reading till the end.

NEXT

[here4kpopfics]

Congrats on your follower milestone my lovely friend!! I’m so proud of all that you’ve accomplished and I’m excited to see all the writing you’ll do in the future 🥺 like seriously, so proud of you 💜🫂

Now 😈 I have a challenge for you. Can you write #10 from the first prompt list, but with Namjoon? (Smut is up to you if you wanna do it.) I hope it’s a fun challenge for you! And I know you’ll do it so well

JAI I LOVE YOU. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. 🥺💜

Pairing: Namjoon x (f) reader

Genre: Fluff & Romance. A dash of smut

AU: Friends to lovers

Wordcount: 2156

Summary: Your insecurities over a dress leads to sudden confessions. 

Warnings: Language. Body insecurities. Cheesy confessions. Some heavy making out. Feeling each other up. Allusions to sexy times.

Rating: NC17

AN: Once again, I've gone beyond the prompt. I'm sorry. I wrote it like 4 times and hated every single one and then this in like 12 hours. Thank you to my beautiful bby @chryblossomjjk for beta reading and finding the SEA of grammatical errors because my eyes have glossed over. Enjoy! I'm kind of liking this whole taking requests thing. Might make it a thing.💜

Masterlist

“What time are we supposed to leave?” You shout from the bathroom, slipping on an earring before switching over to put on the other one. 

“Ten minutes ago…” Your best friend Namjoon's voice came from the bedroom. 

“WHAT?” You panic, making sure the hair tools are unplugged, stuffing the makeup in your bag and hastily spraying yourself with the perfume Namjoon bought you a year ago. You take another glance in the mirror, tugging the dress lower if possible, suddenly regretting your choice. It’s too short. Your thighs are on display as the dress stops just below your ass. 

You drunkenly purchased it online one night and per agreement with your best friend. All drunk purchases must be immediately returned or used. The decision is to be made the second you receive the package. The moment you opened it, Namjoon told you to keep it. You never know when you need to show some skin. He had said it with a smug smile, prompting those damn dimples to appear. That sentence alone was enough to make you flustered. He did that often, openly flirting with you, his best friend. Often touching you in ways that could be platonic, but had the potential to be more. But while it meant nothing to him, it was everything to you and your harboring crush you’d had on him for three years. 

You two had planned to go to his friend’s party and you figured this dress would be perfect for it. Maybe you could finally make a move tonight. He was finally not seeing anyone and the guy you were talking to suddenly ghosted you. Perfect opportunity, you thought. Although now that it’s on you, you figure what’s another ten minutes to change? And the crush has been going on for three years, what’s another three? You unlock the bathroom door, hand ready to turn the handle when you freeze. The closet is on the opposite side of your room. Which means you have to walk right by Namjoon to get to it. Walk by him in the shortest dress you own. Show him your thighs and ass basically. No no no. 

“Hey, Joon? Can you leave my room for like a few minutes?”

“Why? How are you not ready yet?” He sounds annoyed. He hates being late. But the anxiety in you doesn’t care. 

“I am…I was. I just want to change. Please…”

“What’s wrong with whatever you have on?” You can hear him getting up, praying he’s leaving the room. 

“I just don’t feel good in it. Also it’s kinda chilly out, maybe I should go with something more comfor- “

The door swings open and you stumble back a bit, almost losing balance in your heels. Luckily, it’s a modest sized bathroom and you just end up bumping into the counter. 

Namjoon opens his mouth to speak but gets stuck where he’s standing, eyes roaming up and down your body. You suddenly feel more self-conscious than before and try to cover yourself with your arms. “Stop staring, please…I know I look like trash. I just wanna change.”

“Why? You look beautiful.”

You look what?

“What? No. Shut up, Joonie. Get out of my room and let me put something else on.” You look down, face burning, flustered beyond belief. He takes a step closer to you. 

“No, y/n. You’re wearing this. You look fucking fantastic.” You shake your head, eyes and flustered cheeks stuck on the ground until all you see are his feet in front of yours. “I’m serious. You’re beautiful.”

“Stop saying that. Stop lying.” You whisper, slightly defeated. You feel a hand on your waist, just above your hip. Another hand cradles your cheek, lifting slightly so you can lock eyes with him. 

“In all the years we’ve been friends, y/n… when have I once lied to you? Especially about you?” Your eyes search for any ounce of a lie in his own eyes. You swear you see them land on your lips a few times. You lick your lipstick stained lips subconsciously as you let out a small breath, looking down at his shirt. You miss the way he gulps at your tongue’s action, as well as your fingers ever so lightly grazing against his skin as you grab his shirt and play with the fabric between your fingers. 

“Never. You’ve never lied but…”

“But what, y/n?” His hold on your waist tightens just slightly, pulling himself a little closer to you, hips almost touching. He places his forehead against yours, noses barely touching. His thumb soothing back and forth along your cheekbone. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I’m going to have to hide you from everyone so no one can touch you tonight…” 

Your stomach plummets, a bolt of lightning shoots straight through your spine and your face has somehow gotten even hotter if that’s possible. How is that possible? Can he feel how hot your forehead is right now? Oh god he can, can’t he? You shake your head and pull your face away from his, his hand, and the sudden tension in the bathroom. 

“Please. Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” 

He’s whispering now, lifting the hand that was just on your face to move a piece of hair out of the way. This can’t be happening. You just want to change back into pajamas and go back to bed. No party. No fun. No Namjoon. Just you and your bed and your feelings crying out into your pillow.

But then again, he never lies to you. Never. Not once. So what if? What if this is the chance to say it? The chance to tell your best friend you’re in love with him and all you think about every day is his lips on yours, and the feeling of his hands in yours as you give into one another? But what if he’s just being kind and calling you beautiful and there’s no intentions and he’s just doing that thing again where personal space doesn’t exist? What if you lose him? 

But what if you don’t and he loves you back? But what if?

“Don’t. Don’t say things like that unless you mean them. My heart can’t take the back and forth on if you mean it or not and it’s killing me.” You stammer over some words but you did it. You got it out there. 

But you’re met with silence. Deafening silence. And you’re terrified to look up. But you do. And your heart stops. He’s so beautiful. But he’s smiling. Not enough for the dimples to show, but it’s there. “What?” Your voice is shaking and your breathing is out of rhythm. 

“Took you long enough, jagi.” He chuckles softly before leaning down, tilting his head slightly to delicately place his lips on yours.

Sparks. Everywhere. This is what the movies kept talking about. When you kiss and all you can feel or see are sparks. Your hand on his shirt tightens, pulling him closer while the other hand slips to the back of his neck to hold him in place. You part your lips to try to speak but Namjoon decides you’re not done yet and crashes his lips back to yours, teasing them open with his tongue and sliding it in your mouth to deepen the kiss as much as possible. 

His hands trail down your body to your hips where he easily hoists you up onto the counter, tapping your thigh to make you spread them enough for him to step in between. This causes your dress to rise up enough that you can feel the cool counter on your ass. But that feeling is nothing compared to the burning sensation his touches leave behind. His hands slide up and down your thighs, getting closer to your hips and back down to your ass every time. On one pass, he drags his nails across your skin, eliciting a low moan from you that he swallows down. He finally pulls away enough for you both to catch your breath. 

“Do you-” He pants. 

“Have any idea-” He leans back down to kiss your lips. 

“How long-” Then your cheek. You turn your face away from him, giving more room. 

“I have been waiting-” Then your jaw. 

“For you to finally-” Your throat.

“Fucking finally say something?” He pulls aside the strap of your dress and places an open mouth kiss there, sucking harshly. Your moan is higher in pitch this time. “Three fucking years, jagi. Three. After you got drunk and kissed me by accident. Do you remember that?” He tugs your legs, pulling you closer to him so you could feel him better. 

“You said you didn’t remember anything from the night.” You frown in between gasps. 

“That, my love, is the only time I’ve ever lied to you. I remember it so perfectly. Your lips are still just as soft and perfect.” He brings his lips back up to yours, leaving kisses that are soft and lingering, but still full of need and desire. You wrap both arms around his neck, trying desperately to keep his lips against yours. But he’s stronger than you, so he pulls away with ease, placing a kiss on your nose before cupping your face in his hands. 

“I was waiting for you to make the final move. You said when we were kids that you wanted to be the girl that makes the move on the guy. So I’ve been patient. So fucking patient. Watching the most beautiful girl in the world tear herself apart over and over again and go after idiots that don’t know how to be with someone as perfect as you.” He places another soft kiss on your lips. 

“But I’m tired of waiting, jagi. I love you.” 

You sniffle, tears threatening to escape as you look anywhere but his eyes. You did tell him you wanted to make the first move. You didn’t expect him to keep that memory and take it seriously. You let out a few more sniffles, followed by an unwarranted whimper before tilting your gaze back to him. 

“I love you, too…” you almost whisper it. But judging from his smile, you know he heard you. He kisses your forehead, wrapping his arms tightly around you bringing you in for a hug. You both stay like that, in each other’s arms, refusing to let go until his phone sets off. He’s forced to pull away, giving you another kiss before leaving the bathroom to grab his phone off your bed.

“It’s Hobi. He’s pissed we’re not there, yet.” He grumbles as he returns, getting ready to type out some excuse about traffic when he looks up at you, thumbs freezing over the screen. You haven’t moved an inch. Dress strap dangling off your arm. The bottom of your dress is wrapped around the space where your hips and waist meet. Your legs are still spread so he can see a flash of your underwear. You look disheveled in the best way possible and he has to snap himself back into reality. 

He quickly shoots a text to Hobi before tossing his phone on the counter and returning to his spot between your legs. “Change of plans.” He mutters against the shell of your ear. “I can’t have you going out in that dress. I don’t want people looking at you. No one is allowed to look or touch you except for me, okay?” 

You nod tentatively. “So should I change then? We’re so late, is Hobi mad?” You question all while Namjoon is leaving marks across your neck and jawline. Your hand grips at the hair at the base of his neck. His hands slide up your inner thighs, trying to separate them further. 

“Nope. We’re not going anymore. I can’t just walk away from this when it’s right in front of me.” He groans when a thumb finally reaches your underwear and he can feel the wet spot. Your hips react on their own as you push forward so his thumb presses against your center. 

“Fuck jagi.” He mumbles under his breath. “Say you want this, please. Say I can take you to bed right now and we can make up for three years of this stupid back and forth dance. Please.” You gasp as he moves his thumb in small circles against the cotton over your bundle of nerves and your grip on his hair tightens further. 

“I want you, Joonie. So bad. I need you. Take me to bed.” You whimper as his lips meet yours again for the umpteenth time. His thumb leaves your center and both hands wrap around your thighs as you lock your legs around him. 

“Thank fuck. We have so much to do.” He groans against your lips, carrying you to your bed where you spent the entire night trying to make up for the last three years of longing.

[feyre-darling92]

A run from the past

A/N: Soo, first fic for Ghost and probably a series. Also I deleted it by accident so there might be some errors. Anyways, enjoy!

T/W: Um, typical cod stuff, Ghost being a dick, maybe bad language and definitely bad writing.

Word Count: 1,067

“Everyone, welcome the team’s latest addition to this mission, Crow. She just came so unless you want anything more, introduce yourselves and wait for my word.” You stood next to Kate as she introduced you to the team.

The orders had arrived too late, forcing you to grab the first plane from your city to come to the base which meant that you didn’t even have time to unpack your things before meeting the team.

“So, you’ll be helping us?” The man who seemed to be the captain said and you just nodded. “ I’m captain John Price. Nice having you around” His warm smile welcomed you more than his words.

“I am soap.” One of the tall men introduced himself, the one with the mohawk. He seemed alright.

“And I’m Gaz” The other man added. Just like his teammate he seemed nice, they both gave off good vibes.

“This one” Soap gestured to the man with the ghost mask and the intimidating posture, “This is Ghost”

He didn’t need to introduce him to you. Ghost was something like a legend. You’d heard many stories and many sayings but  you had decided you wouldn’t believe them until you had met this man yourself.

He just nodded, acknowledging your presence. Nice

“And you are?”Gaz asked.

“I‘m Lieutenant  Y/N L/N, specialist to undercover missions” you tried to smile.

“Wait” Soap cut you off “you’re the Crow? Wow”

You sighed. “Yes, I am” you looked at your feet, afraid of what they might have heard. Let’s just say that the rumors about you were- well, they were plenty.

“If we’re done with the introduction” Kate who noticed your discomfort changed the subject, “Expect files with everything we know so far and a call to come by. Until then, stay safe”

She looked at everyone and then at you, “If you would follow me” she gestured to the door and after you had exchanged goodbyes you left.

“Who do you think might be?” Laswell asked after a few minutes on the way to your apartment.

“Well, judging by what you told me we are probably facing a professional terrorist. Their moves are planned too carefully and with unique ways”

“They?”

“I don’t exclude the possibility of the perpetrator being a woman. But until we find out who exactly they are, everyone can be them”

“I agree with you” You stopped at the front door, “Try to make yourself home. I have a feeling that you’re gonna need to stay for long” she handed you the keys to the apartment you were given in the base.

“Goodnight” you unlocked the door.

“Take care please”

And with that you were left alone standing in the dark, in the living room of your new home. If you would ever call this a home.

You just did what you do every time, placed the suitcase on the floor not bothering to unpack and after your night routine lay in bed.

However while you were setting the alarm for tomorrow morning a notification popped up. A message.

‘You think moving to a military base would be enough to keep me away? Think again’

You just stared at the screen unsure of what to do. Then another message appeared:

‘You can try and catch me but it will end like your previous mission’

Shit.

“Y/N, what happened?” Kate immediately answered your call, her worry clear.

“I think we might have our first clue. I got two messages”

“Come and meet me at my office. Now”  She hung on and you got ready to leave the house. This was gonna be a long night.

--------------------------------------------------

You pushed the door open and were greeted with the sight of the entire team waiting for you.

“Are you okay?” Price asked worried.

You just opened your phone and showed them the messages, handing the phone so everyone could read them.

“What’s the phone number?”

“It’s unknown. Think you can track it down?”

“We’ll try but we can’t guarantee anything-”

“Why did he communicate with you?” Ghost stepped in.

“I know as much as you know, Lieutenant�� You replied rather annoyed by his assumption.

“What happened on your last mission?” Soap asked. You wish he hadn’t.

“Nothing that should concern you, Mctavish” your answer came out angrier than you’d liked.

“If anything, we should know” Ghost insisted on learning, which didn’t help the whole situation.

“The people who need to know, already know” you shot him a death glare and hoped it would stop him from saying anything more.

“We’ll look through this but until then you’re not allowed to leave the base” Kate said and took your phone.

“You’re dismissed until further notice. Until then, be careful” Price dismissed you and everyone started leaving. “Ghost, please accompany her to her apartment” Captain’s last orders had found you unprepared.

“I appreciate that but I will manage perfectly well on my own” You tried to politely change his mind but it was pointless.

“I know, Y/N. But until we find out who are they and why they contacted you this is how it’ll go”

“Yes sir” you sighed and exited the office with the ‘brooding ghost’ on your side.

“I don’t trust you” he stated a few minutes later.

“I thought so. Why?”

“I just don’t” he side-eyed you. “Why should I?” he questioned and you thought about it for a second.

“Because if we are going to do this and do it right we’ll need some trust” you said after a few seconds without looking at him.

“Look. You have a past, and I respect that, but I understood that you have secrets. If these are going to affect our mission then we should know”

“The people who need to know already know” you repeated your previous words. “And why should I trust you?”

“For the favor of the mission” he replied plainly.

“Uh huh. How about this. You don’t have to trust me and I don’t have to either. However if you stick your nose in my business I swear that there will be no good ending”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Lieutenant” he replied coldly.

“Good” you stopped in front of your door for the second time this evening, “Night”

He just nodded and left, your eyes following him until he got out of your sight. This was going to be an interesting mission, you thought to yourself.

A very interesting mission.

[bemylord]

↠ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʀᴇᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴄʀᴀᴛᴄʜᴇꜱ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴅʏ ↞

characters: gojo, sukuna, itadori, megumi, nanami, toji x fem!reader.

warnings: smut, aged up, marks/bruises, creampie, daddy kink [toji and nanami], oral [fem!receiving], degrade and praise kinks, grammar errors.

a/c: or s/o gave them scratches on their body. hc + drabble. kento's, toji's, and sukuna's part might be rough. also i may used inappropriate word don't blame me.

ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ:

would be teasing you in the morning for being too horny to suppress your nails. although, he doesn't hide the fact he adores the little pain when his clothes touch places where you left stripes.

also likes those moments when you're leaving fingernail marks on his thighs or hips whilst sucking his dick. it'd be better spelled if i specify that gojo using your head as a toy for his pleasure.

would praise you for marks you've given him, labeling his muscular body as yours, letting your fingers traveling all over his back to the chest, outlining every muscle.

prefers to do it slow but deep, touching the spongy coil inside you with his every push, feeling your hands on the back as you're trying to take his dick, being capable of not losing your mushy mind at his sharp pushes as how he's overbearingly fucking you.

'giving me all your juices and marks you've gotten for your master' satoru might be playful during the training time, but you've known he likes to talk dirty and be dominant railing you. those marks perfectly suiting on his skin so why not leave them?

despite being overdose with your cum and a facial expression - you opened your mouth releasing ragged whimpers and arching your back, approaching towards gojo's chest in the climax, cumming all over the base - he'd thrust in you more 'till you'd turn into the drooling mess below.

'yes, honey, you're doing good, so good. constricting my dick so good' obscene squelches become louder, as you could feel satoru's released on your stomach. 'you did so well, honey, i'm gonna take good care of you'

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴊɪ:

okay, i think itadori would be the softest boy through all monsters we've got here.

but don't let his innocent face trick you. despite of the fact that most of the time he's a soft bun, he'll make you scream.

ok, make you scream and be asking if he isn't tempestuous.

he'd be disconcerted if you asked him to heal his back. for what? he thinks is a sort of a recall so he could remember what the two of you had been doing in the night and how loud you were while giving him your residue of cum.

he might take some photos of his skin pattern in marks so he could ogle at 'em later, repeating seconds where you were patterning his back.

'take off your shirt, yuji. i'll heal your back'

poor itadori is sitting on the couch totally discouraged as he heard your request. he glanced at you with a bambi look: eyes wide open, as if you said something vulgar. he aimlessly rubbed the back of his head, tossed his head back.

'but i like your marks, baby'

he whined, grabbing your palms in his, forcing you to sit on his lap, wrapping arms around your waist.

'you gave those stripes because you.. you were feeling good, yeah?'

you put your head down at his question but nodded, putting your head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat.

'then i don't need your recovery, baby, let your marks stay until you'll add new ones'

ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ:

let people know what sex is. let it be a slogan for your intercourse.

he could fuck you all night due to his long-term capability and would be smug after intercourse as he'd watch the disorder [?] you did on his biceps.

mostly biceps, cause a man knows the main destination of his tongue, masterfully giving you an oral. goddamn that tongue.

he'd let you scratch his back as he'll know that it'd be possibility to show off the mark his love gave him. on other days, you're pulling his hair into your pussy, burying him even more, letting him to destroy you before the fun will start.

his arms full of red stripes. though it wasn't your fault - how can you inhibit yourself while toji is literally eating you like a meal?

'being waiting for my tongue, huh?' he's a teaser - you're at the edge of the bed, baring your dripping pussy to the one he can lick you as you need to whilst teasing and degrading you.

'being waiting to be demolished by me you little whore, don't you?'

you grabbed his strong biceps, dotted them in half-moons then squeeze as toji peeks at you.

'answer me, slut!'

his low voice makes you open widely your legs as not closed to squeeze his head. he's running his tongue on your crotch and labia, teasing you, forcing you to say how reckless and anguished you were without his tongue and fingers.

'yes, daddy, i-i've been waiting f-for you' you sharply breathe, letting out the whimpers, feeling his tongue playing with your swollen clit.

'i'm about to ruin you tonight, are you ready?' he giggled once more, getting into the little game he's been waiting for since he left the house.

ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ:

it is in their genetic code to make a woman scream but since megumi hasn't got a huge sexual experience as his father does, he'd be tender at first, asking abt your well-being, if he can move, etc..

when he watches at the mirror in the morning, he finds out his back and a few shoulders are drawing by your nails.

he'd be overwhelmed and speechless as he saw a reminder of the night.

'gumi will make up an excuse, sort of: 'i got into the fight with a curse, nothing special'. itadori'd have been asking him if he's okay, how it was but satoru isn't a naive one.

deep inside would be proud of himself that only he could put you on the pleasure, privately enjoying those patterns.

'y/n?' he pronounced your name in a question way, rubbing his shoulder aimlessly, as you glanced at him. you let out a quiet mooing as a response, staring as to how megumi taking off his school uniform.

'would you mind heal me a little?'

you smiled, coming closer to your boyfriend, grabbing a tube of medicine on the way.

'don't think i don't like your.. marks, just-'

'don't apologize, 'gumi, it's kinda chaos on your back' you giggled at your comparison, running with medicine on red stripes. his tensed and muscular body is overwhelming: those abs and pretty strong arms conquering every time you've got an opportunity to ogle.

'tho i love the chaos you made'

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ:

i'm certain you'll be scratching his back because nanami is packing - big dick energy, lol.

screaming his name as you've been drawing illegible patterns, mostly on his wide back, so lately he'd smirk at his reflection in the mirror.

those nights when you're trying to fill the lack patterns on his back by drawing lots of geometrical figures or promiscuous tracery.

every move with his tight white shirt at the office makes his stoic face change as he reminisces the night you gave that pleasant pain.

he wants to find half-moons littering his biceps as you were holding 'em while giving creampie on his dick.

if you want it spicy - trail your fingers on his back suddenly, giving nanami little goosebumps to switch his mood.

'darling, you want me to stop?' he unaware question left you desperate as nanami stopped pumping, left a soft kiss on your forehead. 'am i fucking you way too hard?' seldom moment of nanami being tender as he gets used to fuck recklessly 'till you'll be a dripping mess under his cock.

you didn't see fit to answer the question but smack your lips against his, as a silent response named: 'i'm fine, my love, you can move' your wet, deep, and in some way subtle kiss that doesn't fit on the action you've been doing. you trail your nails from the back of his neck to the coccyx, ogling as to how his facial expression changes.

'you want to be used like a slut you are, don't you?'

you couldn't respond, only purr as how nanami suddenly turned on into daddy. feeling how your empty pussy being filled out with a thick kento's cock again as he's making a demolishing [?] pushes.

'get what you want, slut, scratch my back so it'd dotted lately with your nails'

ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ:

as for that rough man..

he gives hickeys - you give him patterns on his back.

he'd be exceedingly obsessed after had seen your marks on itadori's body. still, itadori is a vessel for him, so sukuna will be even more self-satisfied. why? a little reminder for the owner who took possession of your body at the night.

once he'll take possession of the body, itadori it'd be or someone else, he won't stop himself as long as his back will be patterns of yours nail on it.

he does literally everything to make you scratch his back, whether it be licking your swollen clit to the way your legs got shaken or fuck you on his lap.

'let the bastard see what matures did it the night' his pace increase as he uttered the phrase that makes the butterflies in your belly thrives off.

his lowly and husky voice intermingled with ragged breathing, little drops of sweat on his hairline as he crushes devastating punches, letting your moans out of your mouth.

you're digging into his skin on the back as he masterfully target into the spongy coil in your stomach, feeling as your orgasm is building up with his every hit. he wants to see his back littering in patterns of your nails, wants to have that sweet but stinging pain in the morning.

's-sukuna, ugh~' you let out a whimper as your cunt constricting creampie on his dick. he chuckled as your hole clenching his thick cock while nails trailing all over back.

//~~//

idk i start always from sukuna and i've got inspiration only on kento's part, that's why nanami and toji might be rough than a king.

[thoughtsandbones]

An ex-citing surprise

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!MedicDoc OC (codename: Blue) 💀💙

WARNINGS: Mention of profanity, self harm scars, scars, fluff, panic attack, anxiety, medical inaccuracies and just getting the POV of our friendly neighbourhood masked menace.

Plot: Doctor Ruhari Hari Kaur (OC is South Asian ☺️) joins the 141 again, but this time as their doctor. After the betrayal of Shepherd and Graves, Task Force 141 begins their hunt on his whereabouts and locating Makarov.

PLEASE reblog and like! Hope folks are enjoying the series, I am building up characters and plots, cos I have a lot ideas and just been enjoying writing :D

Song inspo: Bleed it Out - Linkin Park, Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park

Word count: 4.3k

A/N: Flashbacks are getting messed up when I am indenting them and I am getting lots of errors when publishing the work, please bare with some mistakes and spelling issues.

I grew up with the OG MW2 game, so there are some references to the old one, so kind of a mix of both the OG and the new timeline... (Also I'm ignoring the OG Shepherd betrayal and keeping in line the one with the new timeline..)

All rights reserved to the rightful owners of Call of Duty Modern Warfare.

spelling and some grammar mistakes as I am bad at times... :/

(FYI: bold sentences... that are like this... are supposed to describe redacted data/info to the plot... ;] .. )

Please do let me know how you all are finding this fanfic! :D

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11 and PART 12

Part 13

The birds had begun chirping, greeting the new day. The sun soon started to it's daily early ascent into glorious England in June.

Pollen is going to be high, hay fever season descends upon us all. You think to yourself, grabbing your phone and adding 'hay fever szn' to your adding list of things to be on the look out for whilst being the 141's doctor... and... team member?

Try not to push it, I gotta earn that spot You scold yourself, hitting your head against the pillow underneath; a soft beating.

You had been laying awake for about 20 minutes. Checking the time on your phone, 4:34am.

Might as well get started on the day

Rolling out of bed you then start with the first task, making the bed. A good soldier keeps things neat and tidy. The next task, shower. A cold shower to awaken your nerves.

Once you had showered, gotten ready, braided your long hair first into two french braids and then tying the two together with an hair band, you then had several swigs from your flask. hydrate hydrate hydrate

It was 5:39am, you leave your room and lock your door. You make your way down the stairs at a quick pace, you were nearly at the bottom, only to see the lieutenant descending down the last few steps.

Ghost turned around has heard the quickening steps approach from behind him. It was you, donning black fatigues, green top and black combat boots.

"Mornin' Doc" He said stepping aside to let you come down the final steps

"Morning Sir" You say "How are you?" He was donning his skull balaclava again today, his eyes covered with black paint.

"Good, slept well" He said, who started to walk out of the corridor of the building.

"The medicine worked, that's nice to hear" You respond "Any drowsiness currently?" You

Ghost looks down at you as you walk beside him. It knocked him out that he felt a little cautious

"Nothin' apart from the metallic taste" He replied

You nod "Squash will help"

Ghost nods back, he holds the door open for you and lets you walk ahead, his eyes linger over your back again, the tattoo of yours catching his eye again.

Get it together he snaps

"Trainin' this mornin', 10 minute sprint, basic strength assessment and maybe a bit of sniper trainin'" He says, hoping that'll perk you up a bit.

A smirk appears on your face. "Where do I sprint?" You ask

"On track, I'll time you" He brings out a stop watch that was wrapped around a small burgundy journal. Both of you head of the track, Ghost counts you down and you set off, Ghost keeps his eye on you, your form then glances to his stop watch. As you approach he watches your stern face focused on what is in front of you.

After ten minutes, he blows a whistle and you stop. He walks over to you and hands you your flask. You take a few sips, slowly catch your breathe.

Walking over to the gym, Ghost runs through the tests he wanted you to complete. The gym was partly empty, there were a few soldiers, mainly marines who were up and training, but most of them were commanders as they nodded and saluted Ghost. Ghost nodded back. You were struck with awe of the respect and reputation he garnered, along with Captain Price too.

First assessment was chin ups, how many can you do? Ghost had said to you.

You're gonna be so weak, taking in a deep inhale, you reach for the bar and using your core and arms you pull up, exhale, you felt your arms wobble. Eyes flickering over to Ghost who just held out his stopwatch and then glared at you hanging, feeling your face going red. You try again, and only managed 3 chin ups in total. Feeling so weak, you continue with the next set of commands given out by Ghost.

Ghost watched you struggle lifting the 5kg plate over your head, your legs shaking, knees locking every now and then and arms shaking.

In his notebook he scribbled lacking core strength amongst his other critiques. A small part of him felt he was being harsh, but he knew he had to treat you fairly, like everyone else. Especially since you were going to be coming along with missions so dangerous, he had to make sure you could handle yourself.

"Alrigh' that'll do" He says and watches you bring the weight plate down gently and placing it back where it came from. He sees you take a long swig of water, some of drips down your chin and splashes on your shirt on near your breast. Ghost scans your physique, you were fit, but clearly lackin' in strength.

His eyes go back to the dark patch made by the water droplet, just above your right breast... His eyes lingered too long, when he noticed your eyes narrowing at him, he flicked his eyes back to his notebook, feeling his cheeks become warm and blood rush to his ears. Focus

Is he actually staring at my boobs You think, glaring at him. But then you notice the wet patch on your shirt. That? Or the boobs?

"You were alrigh'" He said clearing his throat "Need work on strength trainin', what exercised you normally do?"

"Running, swimming and Taekwondo" You say. "But it's been a few months since I've done swimming and Taekwondo"

"Righ'" Ghost says, vaguely remembering you doing some sort of martial arts. His memories of you were so misplaced and broken.

"I'll work out a trainin' schedule for you" He adds "We got some martial arts classes, may want to join? After this mission we'll assess sparring" He continues

"Yes sir" You say taking in his assessment of you. Dammnit, you were weak, but there's always room to improve

"Sniper practise next" Ghost says and he walks in front of your to the practise shooting range. Ghost gets a sniper rifle and ammunition and hands it to you.

You head over to a spot and set yourself up. Out of all the guns you tried and used, sniper rifles were your favourite. After setting up, Ghost presses a remote with buttons on it, targets come up and you shoot them down. When reloading, you kept your eye in the scope as you reloaded your magazine.

Very well remembered Ghost thought

Soap had entered the shooting range, he saw Ghost who turned to look at him and nodded and turned back to someone who was shooting. Soap realised it was you. He walked to Ghost and stood by him as he also watched you.

"She's good" Soap says to Ghost

"Gettin' there" Ghost replies trying not to feed into Soap's eagerness

You've ran out of ammo, the targets were shot down. You get back up taking the sniper rile and empty magazines. Checking your watch, it was nearing 8am and you had to go to the infirmary soon, after another shower and changing. And breakfast of course.

"Morning Doc" Soap says

"Morning Soap" You say "You good?"

"Aye, all dandy here" He says smiling at you giving you that same grin when he caught you staring at his naked torso. You look away

Ghost felt stuck in between you and Soap. Soap was grinning like a fox at you and you were staring wide-eyed at the sniper rifle drumming you fingers against the barrel.

"I'm going to go clean this" You say lifting the rifle briefly and walking away.

Soap chuckles and looks at you as you walk away. Ghost figured out he was still teasing.

"What you doin' here Johnny?" Ghost grumbled

"Came to see how our new team member was doin'" Soap quirked, giving Ghost a grin.

Ghost scoffed at him. He looked over and saw you sat down on the benches, cleaning the rifle, like it was something you did everyday.

Soap came closer to him.

"You tell her yet Lt?" Soap whispered.

Ghost glared back down at Soap. Did Price rope him into this now?

"C'mon Lt, you can't leave it til it's too late" Soap said giving Ghost a pat on the arm.

"It's bit complicated Johnny" Ghost said, lowering his tone

"Maybe she needs some good news after Siberia eh?" Soap whispered quickly to Ghost

Looking at Johnny and taking in what he said, he became slightly agitated.

"Take my advice Lt" Soap said finally and patted him on the shoulder and went to the weapons locker to grab a gun for his own practise shooting.

Ghost walked over to you, focused on cleaning each part of the gun thoroughly, he watched your hands use the tools, cleaning each part of the rifle carefully.

"Good effort today Doc" He said finally, you look up and smile

"Just need to work on getting better sir" You say looking back down at the barrel in your hands, polishing it with your cloth.

"I'll email over a schedule before the mission tomorrow" He said

"Thank you sir" You focus remained on the gun.

Ghost felt his right hand twitch, his arm trying to move up to his head. He fought off the urge to try and reveal himself here...

The sudden click of you sliding the barrel back brought him back to reality. He was drawn to your gaze, you look back down at the reassembled sniper rifle.

"I'll be heading back if that's good sir?" You ask

"'Course Doc" He replied and watched you get back up, sliding the sniper rifle over your shoulder, it was a motion you did so casually, you've done it before. You've been here before.

"Come by between 10-12 for your blood pressure check lieutenant" You said, trying not to sound too commanding.

"Yes Doc" He says, he gets up and looks down at you stepping back as you walk to put the rifle away. He sees Soap grin at you again as you leave.

Ghost looks back down at his notebook in his hand and opens it up scanning the list of things he noticed you lacked and needed improvement on.

Soap comes over to him after shooting a few rounds.

"What's goin' on between those gears Lt?" Soap says sitting on the bench.

Ghost backed up a bit.

"Nothin' Johnny" he grunted to which Soap gave him a look that called his bluff and scoffed.

"Yer right" Soap responded "C'mon Lt, what's the worse that can happen?" he added extending his leg to attempting to tap Ghost, but he moved away and sat on the bench opposite Soap and looked around, no one was within earshot.

Soap watched has Ghost scanned with his painted blue eyes the area around him.

"What if she goes-" He trails off and then looks directly at Soap "-gets angry? he finishes

"I doubt it Lt" Soap begins, leaning closer to him "You have yer reasons Simon, she a nice lass, she'll understand" He added smiling towards him, Soap noticed Ghost narrow his eyes and scoffed slightly.

It was the first time in a long time that someone other than Price said his name. He hung his head down briefly and then looked up.

"One can hope eh Johnny?" Ghost responded "We got stuff to do before we leave tomorrow, need to see Doc about somethin' at 11, let's get movin' then" He added getting up, Soap follows him as they leave.

Mean while in the infirmary

It was 9:30am and you sat at your desk unsure of what next to do. Reports were done so far for the team, it's not like you could have a proper in-depth review with them the day before a crucial mission.

'Hey, mind if I draw some blood to further analyse if you have any health issues which seem super trivial to you?' You mutter to yourself in a high-pitched mocking tone. As you twirl yourself around in the chair.

The was a rapid knock on your door, you stopped the spinning motion with your left food and quickly got up and opened the door.

It was Price

"Mornin' Hari" He said smiling

"Morning Captain" You say, moving away from the doorway and letting him walk in, you close the door

"How was training with lieutenant Ghost?" Price said turning back to you, watching as you take your seat and Price sits on the other side of the desk.

"Good, well- don't think I did well in the fitness assessment bit" You sigh leaning back in your chair, but then straightened up a bit, not sure how casual you could be...

"Always room for improvement" Price said chuckling leaning forward.

You sense that Price had an ulterior motive, Siberia...

"Are you here to ask about Siberia sir?" You ask, getting straight to the point, tilting your head back

"Came to ask how would you feel about going back?" Price said, also cutting to the chase. "Laswell wants us to do a recovery mission" He adds

"Shouldn't we be more concerned with tomorrow's mission Cap?" You retort

Going back huh? You wonder

Price leans back, smiling slightly.

"Of course, but you up for it?" Price asks again

"Once you and lieutenant Ghost are happy with my training, then yes." You say bluntly. You weren't going back unless you were at a competent level of being able to look after yourself in that harsh environment again.

"That's the plan" Price chuffed, his objective completed with ease.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" You ask "Or is that classified?" you added smirking slightly

"4am" Price said looking out the window, blue skies over base, the distant fields feeling

"Come by my office this evening at 6, we're havin' a pre-mission gathering, tea and biscuits" Price chuffed looking back at you.

"Of course sir" You nod back at him smiling.

After a brief conversation of mission details and what your job was (standby during end of mission for injuries during when they are RTB) Price left the infirmary leaving you alone again. You checked the reports on your laptop again. You click onto Ghost's report.

Much of his personal information was redacted. But you knew his age was 34, which meant he was born in 1988. You hesitated putting this information into the report. Price had told you that Ghost's identity is a secret for a reason.

You went through the other reports for Gaz, Soap and Price. Adding in your notebook things you needed to do, blood tests was one thing.

Sitting back in your chair again, you spin around, enjoying the motion tilting your head back. You stop and then go back to your laptop, after placing an order through the RAMC pharmacy for more hay fever tablets, you lean back in the chair again.

Siberia. Siberia. Your mind wonders back the frozen place.

"Get the disk and get out Blue" echos in your head again, you shake your head and run your left hand through your hair. It was still braided, bringing your right hand up, unravelling both braids, you comb your hair roughly with your hands.

There was a knock at the door, you couldn't be bothered to get up so you simply shouted 'Come in' to the person on the other side. You looked up and saw Ghost opening the door, his entire stature taking up the doorway.

"Alrigh' Doc?" He lets out, breathing heavily, almost like he ran up here.

"I'm good, you okay?" You ask curiously looking at him as you observe his chest heaving.

"Yeah, just jogged here" He said leaning on the med bed whilst you remained seated.

"You can sit back on the bed if you need a breather sir" You suggest

Ghost looks up you, trying to catch his breathe. He doesn't move, continuing to lean slightly back on the bed behind him. It was the nerves and the damn talking Soap was doing whilst they checked their equipment that got him rattled, and you. He felt his chest get tighter, he breathed in but the air didn't help, he could feel his hands tremble against the cold railing. He turned around facing away from you.

You noticed the change in his body straight away, you got up and moved closer to him.

"Lieutenant what's wrong?" You ask, you grab your stethoscope, as you get closer Ghost moves further away, grabbing the railing of the bed for support, his legs tremble. You watch carefully has be bends over, his right hand moving, clutching his chest.

"Let me just che-" You move to him grabbing his shoulder with your left hand but his right hand quickly grabs it, pulling you away from him, his hold on your arm becomes tight, you feel like he was trying to crush the bones within. You didn't wince at the pain.

"Get away" He rasps head bent down trying to control his breathing, pins and needles running up his legs. He could feel the bone beneath as he gripped your flesh.

You narrow your eyes, you stay in the same place, planting your feet on ground, unsure if he was going to swing at you...

"Do you have pain in your left arm?" You ask, his grip on your arms loosens, you pull it back, the gripping sensation tingling lingers.

"No" Ghost let out. "Jus-t- pani-c att-ack" he stifles, struggling to get the actual words out, bending further over the med bed.

You move behind, a few paces back giving him room to move.

"Get up on the bed sir" You say

"Can't legs froz'n" He spat, just then he grabbed the curtain with his left hand and tried to pull it around him, but it only moved slightly. You wanted to laugh at the attempt, but taking it as a sign that he wanted a bit of privacy, you walk over and close the curtain surrounding the bed, Ghost watches, he tilts his head to the side, there's a small gap left and you turn, your back now facing him again.

"I'm going to walk you through what to do sir" You start, standing behind the curtain.

"Okay" He rasps again watching your back from the corner of his eyes.

"Breathe in through your nose for four and hold for four" You add, loudly breathing in from your own nose, hoping he'll follow.

Ghost yanks up his mask and follows, breathing in steadily through the nose, holding for four, and then back out slowly for four. He listens as you do the same.

"Close your eyes and focus on breathing in and out for four" You say calmly, demonstrating by loudly breathing in again.

Ghost closes his eyes, and breathes in for four. He could feel his heart slow down, the pain in his chest subdue. He looks back at you, still there with your back turned, but then you walk away.

No He thought Don't leave me like this

He hears you walk around the infirmary, then the bubbling of the water cooler, and your footsteps approach. He turns, mask half up still, he felt his heart stumble. Through the gap of the curtain comes your arm, your hand holding a cup of water. He felt a warm iciness shred through him.

"Here, take slow sips" You say.

Ghost reaches out and takes the cup, moving closer to the curtain, where you stood on the other side. He takes a small sip from the cup, letting the water pass down him, whilst moving his feet slightly.

You could hear him take small sips, struggling a bit between to take calm breathes. In these situations saying things like don't worry and think happy thoughts felt useless. What personally helped was taking back control of one thing that one thing that makes us

"Need more water?" You ask through the curtain

Through the gap, Ghost's arm appeared, his bare hand holding the empty cup. You take it from him and refilling it and then head back, you put your hand through the gap, this time peaking inside.

You see Ghost standing, leaning back against the med bed. With a quick glance to his face, his fingers were rubbing against bare nose, there was a bit of black paint on his pointed and sharp nose, glancing down at the stubble lining his jaw, you spot the mole on his jugular. His eyes dart to yours and quickly pulls his mask down walking towards your outstretched left arm.

Ghost takes the cup from your grasp with his left hand, with his right he gently takes ahold of your arm. You try to retract your arm, but Ghost lightly grips the same spot, you wince slightly this time.

"I need to check you lieutenant" You slyly say looking at him, he looks back and doesn't respond, just giving you daggers with his blue eyes.

Setting the cup on the empty spot of the tray he lifts the sleeve of your white coat. He sees his red handprint on the top of your forearm, his turns your arm over, on the other side he sees white horizontal scars faintly scattered on your arm, his also sees his fingers marked in red. It'll form into a bruise he thought

Guilt was riling up in him again. He looked up at you, remaining stoic.

"It just needs some ice, not even that" You pulling your hand back to you. Ghost watches as you pull away from him, no anger coming from you, you smile slightly at him.

"You feeling okay?" You ask, face now shifting to concern.

"Alrigh'" He grumbled. He couldn't get the words out to say his was sorry. He couldn't get the words out that said sorry for grabbing you. He was at a loss when he was with you.

You pull back the curtain and you watch as Ghost sits up on the bed, taking his black sweater off, revealing a think black t-shirt. You could see the outline of his shoulder muscles and the name tags underneath the thin black layer.

"Check you blood pressure then if it's okay to check your heart and breathing?" you say motioning with to your stethoscope around your neck.

"Yeah" Ghost says as you bring the blood pressure machine next to him. As you wrap the cuff around this left arm your cold hand brushes against his skin.

Taking the reading again, 132/80.

You frown and look up at him.

"Still high then?" He asks looking at you and then at the flashing numbers

"Given you had a panic attack, there would be a spike in blood pressure" You say "But it's lower than yesterday" You add smiling at him.

Ghost watches as you get up head to your desk, writing in on a post it and then sticking it in your journal.

"I'm sorry doc" Ghost said "Abou' your arm, didn' mean to hurt you" he added looking at you as you look up.

"Don't worry, it's not broken" You say smiling. You look at Ghost and he looks back down, his shoulders hunched over

Perhaps some tea will help? You wonder

"Would you fanc-" You start, Ghost looks up at you as you begin to ask him something, but there was loud knocking on the door both of you look at the door, you roll your eyes and get off the chair.

"Just a minute" You call out looking at the door and then back at Ghost.

"I should get goin'" He said, putting his sweater on and getting up from the med bed. He looks over at you, your mouth open, as if you wanted to say something, but the person behind the door was knocking again.

"Wait one sec" You say then scrunching your face towards the door, you open the door and there stood a tall blonde haired woman wearing the same blue scrubs and white coat. Looking at the face of the woman standing in front of you your jaw dropped.

"Hey girly girl!" The woman said, slight Texan accent, brightly smiling and shaking her blonde hair that reached the edge of her jaw.

Your ex.

"What the fuck" You exclaim loudly

Ghost was surprised by the harshness in which you swore. He took a step forward to see who was at the door. A woman with blonde hair wearing the same clothes as you. His eyes met hers. She looked at him and smiled.

"Sorry, I'll come back later Ru" She said smiling at you and then at Ghost

"Dr Marie, it's Dr Kaur" You snap

"Dr Marie?!" She snorts "Jeez I'm your ex not your oncologist" She laughs

Ghost took in the words your ex...

This is her... He thinks scanning her

"Not now Peyton, I'm working" You snap back shoving her away from the door with your hands. Peyton laughs and walks away as you close the door. You lean back against the door sighing, hitting your head against the door.

"That is.." Ghost starts looking at you, crossing his arms across his chest.

"The succubus that is my ex" You say meeting your eyes with his.

He tried to suppress a snort. But ended doing snort/scoff out of his nose. He walks closer to you.

"Guessin' you didn't know she works here?" He asks only a few steps away from you now

"Knew she worked with RAMC, but didn't know it was this base" You say bitterly scrunching your nose whilst looking at Ghost.

"Hmm" Ghost said, continuing to look down at you.

You move aside and open the door slightly, allowing the lieutenant to leave. But he doesn't move. You close the door again, savouring the moment between the two of you.

"Sure it ain't broken" he says motioning towards your arm. You look back him, bringing your left arm and give him a jazz hand.

"It'll just bruise" You say "Don't worry about it" You add smiling at him.

He looks down cautiously at you. He hurt you and you are trying to be brave about it.

"Ain't lyin' to me doc?" He asks, stepping closer to you, towering over you.

You straighten up, lifting your head up curtly and tilting it to the side.

"No, but you owe me cup of tea" You say smirking testing the ground, trying to be playful with him.

"Owe you a Yorkshire Tea" He says nodding at you, Ghost heads to the door and you open it for him, watching as you smile at him. Leaving the infirmary he watches as you close the door.

Down the corridor he sees the same blonde woman, leaning against the door of your quarters. She looks at him and gets up walking up to him.

"She free now?" She asks him pointing to the door of the infirmary

"Yeah" Ghost grunts, looking down at the woman in front, she had a grin like a cheshire cat on her face.

"Wonderful" She grins, her blue eyes boring into his, he watches as she opens the door and walks in

"Oh piss off-" You moan aloud from the inside and then the door closes, Ghost walks closer to the door trying to listen in. All he could hear was muffled bickering and then some laughing. He sighed and walked away.

He walked down to his room and let himself in. Looking down at his right hand, he gripped it tightly.

How fuckin' stupid was I to grab her he scolded to himself kicking the leg of his desk as he walked to the bathroom.

But what was more interesting was the return of your ex. Ghost takes off his mask and looks at himself in the bathroom mirror, then grabs his bar of soap.

Soap'll be happy to hear about this He thinks to himself as he washes off the black paint off his eyes. Simon then dried his face, and put a bit of moisturiser on and headed to his bed where he laid down.

Looks like I have a bit of competition Simon thought to himself and then sunk his head in the pillow.

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

I am mildly obsessed with the one for all mind link AU. What does the aftermath of Kamino look like? Does Izuku ever recover?

reference to these: This is a test designed to provoke an emotional response. — HNNNM HI IF YOURE STILL DOING THE AU THING I NEED... (tumblr.com)

All Might in conscious but nearly catatonic from outside perspectives as all of his focus in the first few hours of the aftermath is spent communicating with Izuku. The only thing that breaks him from that focus is Gran's insistence he rest, so he can be out of the hospital as soon as possible and visit him in person.

All Might walked away from Kamino none-life threatening injuries, but Izuku's spine was broken in the Muscular fight. Thanks to quirks and technological advancement, it's not as bad as it could have been, but it's still pretty bad. Pain is constant and severe, and he'll need to learn to walk again over the course of several months. Izuku fears that his hero career is over, but both All Might and Nezu promise that his spot is waiting for him back at UA whenever he's ready.

They keep in touch whenever All Might is away. The pain is so bad some days, he has trouble getting out of bed himself just from the echoes. But the worst part according to Izuku is how boring it is to be stuck in one room. It hurts too much to sleep through it. Hero forums don't entertain him like they used to now that he's experienced the real thing, and he's never been much of a videogame guy. Not even the PSP ALL Might got him for Christmas occupies his attention for long. He misses training and his friends.

The solution is for him to experience things through All Might as a proxy. He lets Izuku tune into things like movies, classes, funny conversations his friends are having, and even walks through interesting places on All Might's day off. He even convinces 1A to film videos of their activities so they talk to him while All Might holds the camera. It helps in the moment, but the second it's over, Izuku feels that much more like he's missing out. All the more alone.

Through a lot of trial, error, and meditation, All Might and Izuku figure out they don't just have to share pain over their mind link, they can pass each other their strength too. While Izuku is in physical therapy, All Might pushes back on his pain with his own assuredness, mimicking the steps he needs to take in another room, helping Izuku build his strength back up in record time while also dulling the agony of it.

[hyprfixations]

never tell

Summary: You and Chris have been dating for quite a while now, although secretly, it was both of your decision to hide it from the public eye. Are you both ready to take it to the next level and that level means telling the whole world all about it.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: RPF, smut, fluff FLUFF, dirty talk, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks

Word Count: 3200+

A/N: Oh, wow. I didn't realize this was going to be this long but I hope it doesn't bore you. Your like, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

**I edit my own work, this is not beta'd and there will be errors. I do not consent for my work to be reproduced outside of Tumblr without my consent.**

You and Chris have been secretly and exclusively dating for almost two years now. And it's only a few more days before your second anniversary. When you first met, you were very skeptical at first, when he asked you to be his girlfriend after a few dates because he's a big movie star and changes girlfriends like he changes clothes. Aside from how the media portrayed him, he's too popular for you.

But then he promised to keep you safe and loved and in return you asked him not to talk about you or even hint about having a relationship. There are times where he would go viral for just looking so good or an interview where his tattoos are peeking out. Sometimes it becomes too much and you wouldn't want to be the vultures to tear you in pieces and expose you to whatever shit they want on their screens.

Chris has social anxiety even though he hides it so well, he takes medications and also visits a therapist for it and he's not ashamed one bit. Big media frenzy or even just Comic Con interviews are causing that. Thankful that he has real friends who's there for him.

He also encouraged me to visit a therapist and it actually helped a lot when you're talking to a professional who will sat there stoic, telling you how you should cope with your feelings.

So when the pandemic hit and Chris asked you to move in with him, you said yes right away. Nothing much has changed except for the fact that you can have sex whenever and wherever you want. But you'd have to be very careful since Scott only sleeps a few doors down, at times he's actually here. He's mostly here but this time of year, he'd like to spend it in Boston. Scott and you are close and would always hang out since he's never likely to draw more attention versus when we have Chris around.

Chris has always been the sweetest boyfriend ever, buying you stuff you don't actually need and being right there before you even woke up. Those rare moments when he'd stay in bed and cuddle are what you most treasure because he'd choose you over running and lifting weights just to sweat profusely.

His hand snaked under your neck and grabbed your boob, his favorite, and squeezed it. You sigh at the contact and kissed his arm. And then you turned to him, his eyes are closed but you know he's awake. His beard tickles your skin and then he smiles, eyes still closed. You kiss him on the lips and his smile grew even larger. Your boyfriend has the most perfect pearly whites out there.

His other hand is placed on top of your stomach and snakes down to your pajamas, knowing too well what he's doing. You stopped his hand before he can even touch you down there.

"I'm still very sore." You say and he opens his eyes, giving you a mischievous look.

"Did I went too hard on you last night?" He kisses your nose and you shake your head. You kissed him on the lips and assure him it was no big deal.

"No, I wanted you to be rough, remember? And babe, it was at 4 am. It's only 7 am. I just need to recover for a few minutes, okay?"

He nods, burying his head in between your boobs and sighing like a kid with his candy taken. He groans and stands up from bed and pull a clean shirt from the drawer. You can see his hardon and you bite your lip, trying to hide your laughter.

"Stop biting your lip like that, baby, I might change my mind and pounce on you."

You giggle and follow him to the bathroom. Together you brushed your teeth and washed your face. As Chris is finishing, you retrieve a clean towel from the cabinet and dry his face first. You can't help but look at the mirror and see your gorgeous chunk of a man. His beard glistens with water and he checks himself and not notice how hot he really is.

You said you wanted to wait a few minutes but your libido just went straight to the roof while his hand ran over his beard. The image is too hot to handle. You walk to the door to lock it, just in case Scott walks in again, and as he hear the door click, he smiles knowing exactly what this is.

You stand beside him, grabbing his hardon in your hand and strokes it, all while looking at the mirror for his reaction. You caught him off guard when you knelt, pulling down his boxers as you go.

You kissed the head and it twitched. Sliding your tongue against skin as he groans and moans.   You can taste his precum and finally take him all in in your mouth.

"Oh sweet Lord..." He looks down on you as you bob your head up and down, taking further and further inside your mouth.

"Come up here." He said after a few seconds and pulls you up the vanity. You're not wearing anything except for his shirt and your black lace panties. He slides the fabric to the side and his thumb played with your clit. Your backed onto the mirror and your breath becomes ragged. Chris can drive you crazy with his touch alone.

"I thought you were sore." He smiles as he plunges one finger inside you. You arch your back, looking for friction and then he kisses the inside of your thigh.

"Blame your beard and your hotness." You're surprised you can even form words as he put in another finger, curling it while his thumb continued to play with your bud.

"Oh, blame me?" He chuckles and reached for your face, kissing you hard while his fingers are still inside you. He pulls you to the edge of the vanity and removed his fingers, replacing it very quickly with his cock.

You gasp with pain and pleasure mixed together. You grab his hair and you kissed passionately as he pounded mercilessly against the bathroom counter. Your moans escape from your lips as he puts one of your nipples in his mouth, playing his tongue with it.

And as his pace grew faster, you knew your orgasm is just there in the corner. So you held onto his shoulders and arched your back.

"You're coming, aren't you?" His soft voice whispered in your ear and you knew he's coming undone too. His ragged breaths tells you that.

And as you cling to his neck and he's looking down at where you're connected like it's a masterpiece in front of his eyes. With one more thrust, you close your eyes and feel the orgasm overtake your body and dug your nails into his skin and you can hear him groan as he spills inside you.

You slowly open you eyes and see him looking at you, sweat on his forehead is dripping down his chin. He smiles at you and reached for the towel he just used on his face. He kissed you one more time before pulling out of you slowly. You can feel his seed trickles out of you, thankful he's already got a towel and wipes you clean. He kisses the inside of your thigh one more time, wiped his length and tossed the towel in the hamper. He helps you off the vanity and waited for you to wear your shirt.

"I need to attend an event tonight. I thought you can go ahead and join me."

"Baby..."

"I know what you're going to say but we'll be lowkey, okay? We can take separate cars and entrances, whatever you want, my love. I just want you to be there."

You sigh, knowing too well you can't say no to him. You roll your eyes and kissed him, this time more playful.

"Don't blame me if I went home wine drunk because I cannot hold a single conversation."

"Oh, you will be amazing. Stop it." He kissed you once again and stepped out of the room to prepare breakfast.

You pick up your phone from the night stand and messaged your boss you might not be able to come in tonight. You got all tasks done for her anyways. So when she replied "okay", you mentally prepare yourself for a breakdown at the end of this event.

Chris has ways of getting you everything you need, especially for an event and sometimes he can be too lavish. So you text his stylist not to bring anything that will catch attention. And of course, he's already eyeing you from making bacon and eggs.

"I hate when you do that." He says, his voice reduced to a whisper, too hurt.

"Babe..."

"Don't babe me." He says and went back to frying some bacon. You can't help but feel guilty about it but it's the only way you can at least peacefully enjoy this event. Aside from drinking too much wine.

You walk over to him and hug him from behind. You can feel his taut muscles as he flips his omelette in the pan. You look up at him and he's still angry about what you said to his stylist.

You pull out your bottom lip and gave your best puppy eyes.

"Will you forgive me?" He smiles just a bit and you knew he's already forgiven you.

"I just want to flaunt you, okay? I'm just so frustrated that I can't do that."

"I mean, not right now, Chris. I'm protecting both of us. And I'm not sure if —" You shouldn't have opened your mouth and now it's going to bite you back in the ass.

"Not sure if what, Y/N?" He was offended a few minutes ago but this time, he's angry.

"I didn't mean in that way. I just feel —"

"You didn't mean to insinuate that we're not going to last and you're not too sure if it's me you want in the long run?"

"Christopher..."

"You know what, it's okay. It's not like we haven't been together for almost two years now. It's not like I asked you to move in. And it's not like my mother and brother is already so attached to you. Nope, it's just nothing."

And then he walks out on you, stove still on and his omelette still in the pan. You turn off the stove and follow him to the bedroom but then you see him walk out towards the door, grabbed his pack of cigarettes and Dodger trailing behind him.

You feel so bad about how the conversation turned out. You just feel it's not the right time to tell the world. There's never a right time to tell social media. And he should've known it better than you do. But you will lie to yourself when you don't think he wasn't right about other things. You were so indecisive about things but one thing you're very sure of is you love him with all of you and that's fucking scary.

***

As you fix up yourself for the event and as his stylist, Ili, who's a very good friend of yours too, arrived a few minutes ago. Chris never talked to you again or peek in just to say hello. He's still very angry at you most definitely. You wished he could've made you explain what you meant but then you can't really know how he would react.

Ili compliments the dress that you chose for the night. Just a subtle emerald green sequin dress to match the events theme of casino. Not too long and not too short, just right for your taste. And Ili gets you and goes to lengths just to make you look good and feel okay even if you aren't in front of the camera. You will just probably sit in a corner and drink half of the wine.

The hair and make up artist that came in with Ili asked you if you wanted your hair up or down so you say just messy bun will do. And as the minutes went by, you still wish Chris would peek and tell you one hilarious thing because you're almost close to have a panic attack. It's those rare moments you overthink and getting over in your head. When the stylist and MUA left early to the event, you'd expect you and Chris to be in the same car but no, that wasn't the case. That just intensified your anxiety and you're so close to not showing up at this.

When you arrived, you can already see Chris in the red carpet, smiling for the camera, signing autographs and making small talks to the people around him. You wish you can be that warm towards people but you might just be a stammering mess.

You pick up a glass of wine from the roaming waiter and downed it in a few seconds. Ili waves at you from the corner and you want to just curl up in a ball and hide. That's when the event started with ribbon cutting, some speeches and all that. The old boring stuff.

"Chris Evans is so fucking hot." You overhear someone saying from the other table. You look back and there's a group of three girls giggling and whispering about your boyfriend. You should be used to it by now because somehow every corner of the planet, he's a household name. And you agree, he is insanely hot.

"Just imagine him backing you into a wall and fucking you senseless." The blonde says while eyeing Chris from afar.

"We did that, actually. All the time." You think but you don't say.

Another girl whispered and giggled, complete inaudible so you have no idea what she just said.

"I know you won't probably believe me but we actually hooked up a couple of weeks ago. While he's out in about in downtown LA." You whip your head back after hearing what the blonde said. You know most of the time, people make up stories about meeting Chris or worse enough, having sex with him.

But then she showed her phone to the girl in front of her and you had a good look at her screen. You’re pretty sure those are Chris' pictures and his IG account, verified with a blue check.

You don't even know how to feel, you just feel your body heating up and your hands shaking. And you have to stand your ground or else you’ll make a huge mess of this party. The blonde continued on telling how they met or how they did it. And it's getting to your head. You must've already drank a whole bottle of wine or more with how often you exchange your empty glass to a full one. If they can just fill the glass to the brim, you would prefer that.

"And oh God, his tongue." The other girls oohed and gasped, giggled and continued with their banter.

You close your eyes and wished you would disappear and just be eaten by the ground whole. You looked for your purse and it's just when you noticed it's missing. You must have left it in the car. That's when the panic sets in. You feel you have nothing to hold on to. Your hand shakes, your vision blurs and you have difficulty breathing.

A warm hand rubs your back and you had no time to look back and to know who it is. You're too consumed by your panic attack.

"Oh, hi, Chris!" The girls from the other table say and you realize it's Chris by your side. But you don't know if he responded or not. Or if he smiled at the blonde girl or if he recognized her.

"Baby, are you okay?" He say, removing the stray strand of hair on my face and caressing your neck. What the fuck is he doing? The media will feast on this in just a few seconds.

But you clung to him because he's the only thing you would want around.

"Y/N, can you hear me? Baby?" He says to your ear and kisses your temple and you look up at him and suddenly everything felt safe. His hands are on you again, his hand snaking over your middle and your breath calms.

"I'm fine." You say even your breath shakes.

And as you drank the remaining wine in your glass, you look at the table beside you and the look on their faces seem like they've seen a ghost. You weakly smiled at them and Chris waved and gave a small smile before he escorts you to the back. People are watching and in no time this will be the top trending in every social media.

Chris helped you getting in his car and security let you off the hook and didn’t disturb you anymore. When you're both alone in the unmoving car, you confront him.

"Do you know that blonde girl from the other table?" Your voice shakes and you can't help but feel so hurt but you needed to hear it from him.

"Who?" He looks at you, confused.

"Don't lie to me, Chris. I know it when you lie. Who is that girl?"

"I haven't seen her in my life. Why are you so angry?"

You tried calming yourself but her words keep coming back in your head like a fucking echo.

"She said you two hooked up a few weeks ago. I saw your conversation on Instagram. I saw the pictures you sent her."

"Babe, please don't tell me you believed all of that."

"Just tell me, Chris!"

"Tell you what? That I cheated on you? With a person I have never seen ever in my life? A few weeks ago we just moved in together, remember? We're too busy buying furniture or too busy fucking each other so how come you believe all this shit right now. That's so rich coming from you."

You break down and silently sob as he looked outside. This is by far the worst fight you ever had and you don't know how to fix it.

"I'm sorry. I got scared, okay?"

He sighs and looks at you, pulling out his white handkerchief and wiping the tears from your eyes.

"Why are you so scared, baby? I'm here. I'm going nowhere."

You throw your arms around him and think how lucky you are. Thankful the car windows are heavily tinted, you kissed him passionately and he's doing the same. Now your arms are all over one another. Half of your dress is already off your body and he's sitting with his zipper down, hard and wanting down there.

"I just don't want to lose you. Ever."

"I love you too much to run away. I can't lose you, ever."

And as your bodies become one in the most uncommon of places, he just said something you'd never expect.

"Marry me, Y/N."

"What?" You're shocked and turned on at the same time as he thrusts into you deeper and deeper.

"Have babies with me. Wake me up giving me head or pancakes will do. Just stay with me. As long as we both shall live."

As you ride your orgasm, you scream "Yes!" over and over again and you look down and see Chris grinning from ear to ear.

"That's probably the worst proposal ever." You roll your eyes and tease him.

"I realized I practiced that in my head over and over again but it was totally worth it when I did it while I'm inside you."

"Perv."

"Forever, your perv."

[tobns]

                             𝒮𝐸𝒱𝐸𝒩 𝑀𝐼𝐿𝐸 𝒟𝐸𝒞𝐸𝑀𝐵𝐸𝑅

I will myself to smile despite the instinctual urge to wilt.

                                                     ALEXANDER

It’s raining when we land in Newark – apparently, LaGuardia and JFK are options that are now null and void – and the feeling in my gut is screaming at me to turn around, hop on another plane that’s headed to an entirely different time zone and not look back.

Jen is all but excited to leave me choking on her dust the second her feet touch the tarmac, as her duties to me have technically ended from this point forward. Jen is not my biggest fan on a good day, and somewhere along the line, I thought that as a businessman I was making a strategic decision by hiring someone who had absolutely no bias towards me to promote my tour. She’d also gotten a thumbs up from someone whose opinion mattered most to me, which for me, set the deal in stone. I’d made it a goal to try and sway her, at least get Jen to appreciate me as a person before the tour wrapped. However, I think I’ve managed to create even more of a case for her disliking me throughout the duration of the tour than I actually did remedying my reputation in her eyes.

It’s all moot now, as she hops into a car without so much as an informal goodbye and rides off.

Dayo may as well be my shadow, next to me in the car that’s on a one-way trip to the city. He says nothing, doing his best to avoid any and all eye contact with me. As uneasy as I am, the situation only increases ten-fold in awkwardness for Dayo. He’s always present when I’m involved, and he doesn’t always appreciate that. 

My leg shakes the entire car ride, my attempt at keeping an idle body busy to prevent what I hope isn’t an impending anxiety attack. Coming home should not be this stressful. Coming home is supposed to be the breath of fresh air, the sigh of relief after spitting out a sentence that’s been building in the lungs, a drink of water in a drought. It’s supposed to be the only place in life where you are never anything but one hundred percent certain, and I can barely convince myself to be at one percent.

The buildings don’t pass by slow enough, they move at a blur until the only one that’s in focus is the same one that I paid an unspeakable amount of money to in order to call the two-story penthouse apartment my own. The car rolls smoothly to a stop in front of the entrance, Dayo and the driver both hopping out to retrieve bags from the trunk and leaving me frozen in my thoughts. My hand feels like an anvil as it rests on the handle of the door, feet refusing to move. The only part of me that’s moving is my mind, whirring past me at a rate I can barely comprehend – there’s a common thread running through the jumble of my thoughts, urging me to bow out now. Some man I am.

“You coming?” Dayo’s voice startles me, my eyes snapping back across the backseat and meet his as he peers his head back through the open door.

Still feeling as though I’ve been shot with an immobilizing agent right in the middle of my spine, I swallow and nod. It’s now or never, and clearly the fates prefer the former.

I step out of the car, the crisp autumn air forking a breeze right through my path. The building stretches upward, and I can feel my head naturally reclining back to watch it trail all the way up to the sky. Home sweet home, I think dully as the driver hands me one of my duffel bags.

The elevator is out of service, which doesn’t come as a surprise. It’s always up in the air as to whether or not it operates, most of the time it not. It doesn’t perturb me all that much; I’ve had plenty of practice hiking up these stairs, especially with luggage. Dayo, who’s made the same trip many times himself, enjoys it very little. Every time I round the corner and start up another flight, I catch a glimpse of his face and the frown that continues to make itself much more visible deepening.   

When we reach the right floor, I push the door open with my shoulder to reveal a very short hallway. There’s a door that sits at the end of it, facing me directly with its gleaming gold knob and all staring right at me, as if it’s been waiting. I force another deep breath into my lungs as I keep marching ahead, if only to save myself from Dayo’s grumbling and him ramming me along with one of our rolling suitcases. The distance between the door and I grows shorter and shorter, until it’s within an arms distance.

I can almost feel the weight of the world pressing down on my shoulder as I lift one of my hands, and deliver a swift knock to the door. Might as well put the ball in someone else’s court.

Plus, the truth of the matter is, I’m not sure if the key Dayo still has on his ring will work with the lock anymore. 

Out from underneath my fist, the door is yanked open. My heart goes into free-fall, expecting to slam right into concrete until I see my own blue eyes looking back at me in such elation, it’s like all the power in the city is rerouted right into one little girl.

“Hi daddy!”

My bags have barely brushed onto the ground before Noelle launches herself into my arms, a whirl of ribbons tied to her pigtails and gleeful laughter ringing in my ears. Relief floods through me as I sigh, pulling her into a tight hug. When she pulls away after a moment and both of her hands come to rest on my face, all of my problems seemingly melt away into oblivion. My eyebrows furrow together as I feign confusion, solely to get a rile out of her. “Do I know you?” I tease.

Another high-octave peal of laughs floods the foyer. “It’s me!” she insists, and I nod slowly.

“Well, hi ‘me.’” I say jokingly, holding out one of my hands for her to shake. “I’m Dad.” This excites Noelle, her face scrunching up as she flings her arms back around my neck.

“No, I’m Noelle!” she squeals as she squeezes in another hug. “I missed you.” I manage to kiss the top of her head before she squirms back out of my arms.

When she pulls away this time, I push a stray piece of hair that’s escaped from her braids out of her eyes and smile at her. “Oh, but I missed you more, Noah-Kate,” I claim, her eyes lightening at the use of the nickname that only I ever call her by. “I guess next time, I’ll just have to smuggle you on tour with me.”

“Really?” she asks me enthusiastically. The last remnants of her lisp have seen very little improvement over the last few months, her r’s still hinting on the edge of a w-sound. I nod.

“Sure thing, jellybean. My triangle player now is nowhere near as adorable as you.”

“Where do you want these?” Dayo grumbles from behind me, leaning up against the doorframe and interrupting the moment. I glance behind me, Noelle already beginning to tug at my hand in an attempt to redirect my attention.

“C’mon, daddy!” she says, her impatience only heightening with every second I’m not focused entirely on her.

“You can just leave ‘em down here,” I tell Dayo, my eyes leaving him before I even finish my sentence and allow Noelle to pull me along behind her.

She drags me into the kitchen, where everything smells like a goddamn sweet shop. Once it all comes into frame, it certainly looks as though one’s exploded – there are baking trays and flour everywhere, stacks and stacks of Tupperware containers housing treats and a rack of brownies still on the sheet resting on the island. The sweetness stops there, a wave of hostility subsequently crashing into me.

I should have known it would have taken an army to create this kind of mess, and that’s exactly what Jackie Emerson and Jack Quaid have always been: a two-man army that could send a thousand men running. Their eyes are glued to me the second they lay sight, and already I want to turn around and walk out. Their glares are scrutinizing and pierce right through me, especially Jackie’s. Jack, who’s always been a few inches taller than me, is a little less threatening when he’s sitting down on one of my barstools, but even at a foot and a half shorter, nothing could possibly take away from the fear Jackie strikes in me. She’s standing with one hand propped up behind her on the counter, the other hand resting on her hip as her eyes wield daggers that have got my name all over them.

Standing next to her is Isabelle, eyes cast down at the floor and her body ever so slightly turned in Jackie’s direction. My stomach is knotted up in my throat, fear shooting through my bloodstream like Novocain. The world still stops when I look at her, but now it’s for all the wrong reasons. Her hair is tied back in a loose bun that’s halfway fallen out, wearing a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt with Columbia written over the chest in burgundy letters that she’s owned for years on end. I can’t find any words to say to her, and she can’t be bothered to look at me. It’s not a surprise by any means.

Noelle doesn’t seem to take any note of the tension that’s suddenly blanketed the air, instead tugging on my hand as she drags me towards the island. “Look, daddy, Momma and I made sugar cookies!”

“Yeah, I see that,” I say, my voice strained. One of my hands rests on her head and I ruffle the top of her hair. “Looks like you’ve been busy this morning, huh, Noah-Kate?”

“Noelle,” comes the thin correction from across the room, so quiet that if I didn’t know any better, I would have dreamed I imagined it. I force myself not to cut my eyes back over to Isabelle, even though the irritation wedges its way under my skin in a split second. Isabelle has always loathed the Noah-Kate nickname, for reasons that are entirely beyond me. Her excuse was that she’d intentionally picked out a name that very, very few nicknames existed for; Isabelle is the queen of nicknames, about a dozen variants for her name alone and she didn’t want the same fate for her kid, being referred to by a different name every five seconds. She’d picked a solid name, and she was hellbent to stick to it. It wasn’t my fault, really, that Noah-Kate just rolled right off the tongue, but she sure did punish me for bringing it into existence. Isabelle refuses to call her anything other than Noelle and threatens anyone else within an inch of their life to do the same, leaving only me to stray from the rules.

Noelle pulls herself up onto one of the barstools, reaching for a cookie and handing it off to me. “Sit next to me!” she requests, and I do my best to comply without accidentally stepping on one of the many, many landmines that have been planted in the room. It is most definitely me against all of them, Noelle being none the wiser towards the evident strain among the adults. It must be nice to still be that naïve, not even know enough on what tension is to sense it.

From the corner of my eye, I see Jackie inch a little closer to Isabelle, presumably whispering something to her. The rigidity is radiating off of Jack; it’s very clear that I am unwelcome. He seems to be biting his tongue, resorting to just glaring at me for the sake of the girls. Or, rather, Isabelle, I’m sure Jackie has given him full permission in advance to do as he pleases.

My daughter is talking twenty miles a minute, all of her words running in one ear and out the other as I try to somehow ground myself in this environment’s unstable climate and get out of my thoughts before things proceed any further. She looks over at me to ensure I’m keeping up, two rows of teeth exposed as she grins. All I can do is smile back and nod, acting as though I’ve heard every single word she���s said thus far. She’s my only lifeline in here – everyone else is on a team opposite from mine, and just my eyes meeting her own makes me feel a little less like a stranger in my own home. Like I’m actually wanted here.

Isabelle shifts away from Jackie, her eyes finally lifting back up to sea level and moving right around me to look at Noelle. “Baby,” she says softly, catching Noelle off guard in the middle of a rapid-fire sentence about how she’s got two loose teeth (maybe I’ve retained more than I think I have). “Why don’t you go ahead and get your stuff?”

Noelle deflates a little, but she obliges, scrambling off of the barstool and exiting the kitchen. I look over at Isabelle, catching her line of sight for the first time since I’ve gotten home.

“Get her stuff?” I repeat, confused.

Isabelle doesn’t respond. Making eye contact with me seems to have had the same sensation as her getting electrocuted, her green eyes jumping away and locking back onto the floor. I try Jackie, because even though she scares me to death, she’s much easier to read than Isabelle. Unfortunately, she’s already looking at Jack, the two of them having some sort of silent conversation.

I figure out soon enough what secret they’re all in on when Noelle comes back into the kitchen, her pink Disney princess suitcase clacking along behind her as the wheels roll over the hardwoods. She’s staring up at Isabelle expectantly, waiting for her next cue.

Jackie’s apparently up to bat next, the corners of her lips forging her mouth into a smile. “Ready to go, bug?” she asks cheerfully as the hand comes off of her hip.

“Go?” My voice echoes out, and I glance back over at Isabelle in bewilderment. Noelle, whom I don’t think was entirely sold on whatever plan her mother and Jackie have concocted for her, suddenly lights back up with a swell of hopefulness that I’ll take her side.

Isabelle has apparently foreseen this happening, and she walks over to the doorway where Noelle stands. She bends down, her back to me as she rests her hands on either of Noelle’s arms. “You and Aunt Jackie and Uncle Jack are gonna have so much fun at your sleepover while Momma and Daddy catch up, yeah?” she asks, the chipper tone a little too saccharine to be real. “Aunt Jackie told me you guys are going to Times Square tonight. I think if you asked really nicely, they’d even take you to the Disney store.”

My heart sinks a little in my chest. I’d planned to take Noelle down to the Disney store tomorrow, since it was all she talked to me about doing over the last three weeks’ phone calls.  

Noelle looks past Isabelle at Jackie and Jack for some sort of confirmation to Isabelle’s theory. Jackie gives an overexaggerated shrug (meaning that it’ll be a yes, so long as it gets her out the door) and Jack shoots her a thumbs up. I’m very quickly arriving to the conclusion that I don’t get any say in this, no matter how I might feel about it.

After squeezing Noelle’s shoulders, Isabelle prompts, “Go tell Daddy bye, alright?”

Trudging over towards me half-heartedly, Noelle holds her arms out for a hug. “Bye, Daddy,” she says, just as Isabelle’s told her to.

I have to bite down on the tongue that wants to protest all of this bullshit, because I’m sure Noelle is none the wiser and the last thing I need to do is throw a wrench in the plans of the people holding much more terrifying weapons. Straightening myself out, I stoop down to Noelle’s level and give her another hug. “Bye, jellybean. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Arms still looped around my neck, she leans away from me and is visibly excited at the prospect of this.

“Daddy will come get you sometime tomorrow after lunch,” Isabelle quickly throws out. I think it’s meant to appease Noelle and myself, show us that we’re not really getting that bad of a deal in all this.

Noelle blinks a few times, head tilting ever so slightly to the side as she looks for me to affirm it. I nod. “I’ll see you then, okay?”

“Okay,” she repeats, mimicking my nod.

Jackie swoops in like a goddamn hawk the second Noelle is released from my arms, grabbing onto one of her hands. “C’mon, Noelle,” she says brightly. “If we beat Uncle Jack to the elevator, we get to pick where we go to dinner tonight. And I know you don’t want Tony’s again.” Noelle giggles.

“Elevator’s out of service,” I find myself interjecting as I stand back up. Jackie glares at me over her shoulder, and if looks could kill, she’d only be one step away from shoveling dirt on top of my body.

“It was working earlier,” is all that Jackie has to say in response, her voice cold.

Noelle gravitates back towards Isabelle before she leaves, Isabelle bending down from where she’s taken up leaning against our refrigerator to kiss the top of her head. “Bye, baby.” She offers Noelle one more smile, and even from across the kitchen, I can see the cracks forming in the façade already.

Jack slides his barstool back, getting up and pushing it back under with his foot as he grabs a giant Tupperware container of cookies. I get one more scowl from him before he moves in Isabelle’s direction, folding her underneath his free arm in a hug. He mutters something in her ear, and when he pulls away, I watch as Isabelle gives him the single nod of her head. Her lips are pressed down in a thin half-smile now.  

Jackie, Jack, and Noelle all walk out of the kitchen, Isabelle shifting her body against the refrigerator so she’s no longer facing my direction, but that of the window. We stand in silence, able to hear as the three of them make their way out of the apartment. The door finally shuts, and the veil that was only ever up for Noelle’s sake swiftly drops from the atmosphere.

“Really, Isabelle?” I growl. Some of the tension leaves Isabelle’s frame, and one of her hands comes up to massage her temples. “I just got back home.”

“She doesn’t need to be around to hear us fighting,” Isabelle snaps, finally cutting the evasiveness and looking at me. Now I understand why she wouldn’t earlier; her green eyes are poisonous as they slice right through me in the manner a knife would. “That I figured you’d agree with me on.”

“You could have given me more than five minutes.”

She shakes her head in defiance. “No. I wasn’t going to subject her to being in the crosshairs of an impending explosion. Jackie and Jack both have quite the piece they’d like to give you; the only reason they kept their mouths shut was because of her.”

“And I thought we agreed this was just going to be between you and me, not you, me, and all our fuckin’ friends.”

Isabelle shrugs, peeling herself off the refrigerator and letting her hands slap against her thighs as they fall. “Yeah, well, that was before you fell into bed with some other woman.”

Her words sting as they ricochet off me, despite them being nothing but the truth. I run my hand over the countertop idly. “Look,” I start, my voice quiet. “You know I didn’t want for you to—”

“Didn’t want for me to what?” Isabelle finishes for me, her eyes wide in offense. “Find out?”

“Not like that.”

“Or at all,” she adds. At first, I’d figured that the only reason Isabelle had been clinging to Jackie was to add a little backbone to whatever stressed and brittle state she’d gotten herself in upon my arrival, but it’s pretty evident now that Jackie was the only deterring force between me and Isabelle’s unleashing of her wrath. “I’m terribly sorry that I ruined your little affair with your opening act, honey, next time I’ll be sure to keep my mouth shut when I get a phone call from someone who isn’t even involved telling me so and just…share my husband like a good little girl.”

“Do you want the papers?” I fire back at her. “’Cause we can still do that. I offered it to you up front.”

She snorts. “Because you always want an easy out.”

“Well, can you blame me? Why the hell would I want to stay in a relationship with someone who’d prefer to see my head on a stick?”

“This is not about you,” Isabelle seethes. In her eyes, I can see that there is plenty more she’d like to say to me, but she swallows it down. Her face goes dangerously blank as she exhales shallowly. “This is why I didn’t want her here. We can’t even have a civil conversation.”

“Civil,” I mumble under my breath. “A little hard to do when the environment’s far from it.”

If Isabelle hears me, she simply elects to ignore it. Her head is back in her hands, giving me a small reprieve of her fury. The heels of her hands go dragging down her face, body slumping back against the refrigerator. “We need to decide on an arrangement for Noelle,” her voice small as it attempts to cleave through the heavy silence. “You’ll…you get her tomorrow, pick her up from Jackie’s. Do whatever you guys want – I’m not gonna be at home. But after that, we need to just decide how we’re gonna do this.” One hand leaves her face, gesturing between the two of us. “It can’t be like this, though.”

“This being?” I trail off, unsure.

“The both of us under the same roof,” she says bluntly. Apparently, my reaction isn’t what she had anticipated, one of her eyebrows lifting into her hairline when she sees my face settle into a frown. “What? I’d assumed that you weren’t going to hang around once you got back home. You’d come in, say your hellos, serve me, and then have Dayo be the middle man when you come to pick Noelle up from then on.”

My fist clenches, and I bring it up to my lip in the hopes of restraining the words instantly rising to the surface. “Do you really think so little of me that you think I’d just…stroll in and serve you without so much as a hello?” I mutter, my voice rough as I try to focus on the pattern of the floor.

Isabelle’s shoulders fall as she shrugs. “I haven’t seen you in five months,” she replies simply. “And you were the one who wanted something else. What was I supposed to expect?”

I don’t have an answer to that, so I guess she makes a decent point.

“Arrangements,” she redirects the conversation back to where we’d left off.

“I’m…” I take a deep breath, carefully lifting my eyes up to Isabelle. “I’m not moving out. I didn’t come home to start playing musical beds.” If I know Isabelle as well as I think I do, it is physically paining her not to make any kind of comment. Her lower lip is trapped tightly between her teeth, a hand knotted in the roots of her hair.

“Well,” she finally says, voice strained. “I’m not staying.”

I can feel the blood begin to rise in temperature as my heart begins to pound a little harder in my chest. Conversations with Isabelle used to be clear-cut, linear, and now they’re mazes with no exit or end in sight. “I don’t get it,” I tell her stiffly. “You don’t want to go through with a d—”

“Don’t say that word,” she immediately snaps, and my face falls.

“See?” I gesture out at her. “You don’t even want to entertain the idea of separating, shutting me down the minute you think I’m going to say the magic word, but yet you don’t want to live under the same roof in the hopes that we might be able to salvage our relationship if we do? Where is the logic in that, Isabelle?”

Isabelle’s chin tilts up towards the ceiling as she laughs, her eyes glassy when the light catches them. “God, Alexander, I know you’re not talking to me about logic,” she scoffs. She’s got a white knuckled grip on the counter now, turning so her back is now facing me.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” I argue.

“Yeah, I said that a lot when I got the phone call,” Isabelle informs me, and the chill in her voice sends a ripple down my spine. “’Cause I just kept thinking, there’s no way my husband would do that to me. The person in the world that knows me the best, loves me the most, he wouldn’t hurt me like that. He couldn’t. It doesn’t make sense that he’s cheating on me.” Her eyes cut over her shoulder. “It still doesn’t. But I’ve had to make do.”

“What, by giving me whiplash and getting off on it somehow? You certainly don’t want for me to leave, but god-fucking-forbid I leave!”

Something inside Isabelle snaps. Her hand smashes into a glass mixing bowl, sending it toppling over the edge of the counter and shards exploding as it collides with the ground. I jump a little, Isabelle having the more severe recoil. She nearly goes stepping on a piece of glass barefoot, catching herself and grabbing back onto the counter. “You tore me apart,” she growls hoarsely as she looks at me, the tears burning in her eyes and hanging on the edge of falling over. “Do you think I know how the hell to react to all of this, what I’m supposed to say? I can barely look at you, Xander.”

Her words strike such a painful chord inside me that I have the urge to double over. Not being face-to-face with Isabelle has spared me a lot of the pain that comes with seeing where I’ve put her emotionally. A tear slides down her face, and she angrily swipes it away.

“I don’t know who you are anymore,” she whispers, a hand extended out as she gestures up and down. “Whoever this is, it isn’t who I married.”

There’s an overwhelming lack of words coming to my brain, but my window of opportunity to say something, anything, closes almost as soon as it opens. I watch as Isabelle knots her fist back in her hair, giving me a half-hearted shrug. “If you don’t want to leave, then that’s fine. I can stay with Jackie, go somewhere else—”

“Isabelle,” I interrupt, trying to save her from verbalizing a train of thought that I particularly don’t feel like hearing.

“No,” she insists, shaking her head as she goes about stepping around pieces of glass. “It’s okay. I’ll figure it out at some point. Until then, let’s just…not do this.”

She’s making her way towards the doorway of the kitchen when Dayo suddenly appears, eyes wide as he looks around. I’d almost forgotten I’d sent him upstairs to drop off my luggage, that he was still even in the apartment. Chances are, the sound of glass breaking caught his attention. “Everything okay?” he asks, his eyes meeting mine before moving down towards Isabelle.

“Yeah,” Isabelle responds before I can. Her voice adopts that false cheeriness again, picking up her shoulders a little. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Good to have you back, Dayo.”

I spin around on the bar stool, both elbows propped on the granite island as my eyes catch a quick glimpse of the city out through the kitchen window before I bury my head in my hands. Manhattan is the most densely populated borough in one of the most densely populated locations in all of America, and I have never felt so insignificant inside what feels like the most infinite ocean than I do in my own kitchen.

                                                        ISABELLE

After flashing two rows of teeth in the direction of the waiter as a means of grabbing his attention, I ask, “Can we get another bottle of the rosé?”

He smiles back at me, a curt nod following. “Absolutely.”

He then scurries away from the table, my attention shifting back to the snickering figure sitting across from me. “And what if I wasn’t able to afford a second bottle of the Dom Perignon?”

“Then I don’t think you would have taken me out to the NoMad,” I counter, resting my chin on top of my hand as I lean forward.

“Fair point.” A few tendrils of blonde hair fall off Leven’s bare shoulder as she tilts her head slightly. “Plus, after the day you had yesterday, I’m not gonna be the one to slap the hand that’s pouring.”

I will myself to smile despite the instinctual urge to wilt. Leven knows me well, much more than I sometimes think she does. Her hand slides across the table, palm facing up and extending out for me. I take it, her fingers wrapping tightly over mine. “Sweetheart,” she murmurs. “It’s gonna be alright eventually. He just got home.”

“Yeah, only just. There’s no tour waiting for him to come back. There is no…out.” I exhale, slumping down a little. “He likes the easy outs, and I’ve gotten so used to expecting them that now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I mean, do I let him stay in the apartment? Do I make him find somewhere else? Do I leave?”

“Easy, Belle,” Leven warns me. “Don’t work yourself up just yet. You’re…what, five minutes into this? You don’t have to start apartment hunting just yet, you don’t even know if he’s still seeing her.”

I bite down on my lip, positive that if I’m not drawing blood, I’m taking up quite a chunk of my worn lipstick. “Does that really matter at this point?” I whimper hoarsely. “I mean, even if he doesn’t have her, I’ve got…I’ve got you.”

The edges of Leven’s mouth curl up. Part of me can sense that she’d like to continue playing devil’s advocate, so I keep letting the words fall out as they please. “And even if that wasn’t the case, Noelle’s still in the picture. I can’t just dump her off on Jack and Jackie, act like she isn’t affected by any of this. She adores him, Lev. I got an earful out of her when I wouldn’t let her go visit him on the road like last time – but what was I supposed to say? Yes? Let her meet Sawyer?”

My eyes shift downwards towards the table, where my hand is still clinging to Leven’s. Her nails are painted a deep shade of red, so rich it may as well be black. “Ever since this has happened, I feel like I’m always playing the bad guy. And I’m not the one who cheated.”

Leven’s thumb runs over the tops of my fingers reassuringly. “My parents got divorced when I was ten,” she tells me. Her voice is soft as it falls onto my ears – I think it’s why I’m so quick to latch onto her. She’s living, breathing comfort. “My dad was having an affair, and infidelity was just something my mom couldn’t work past, so they ended it. All these years later, she’d still tell you that she was partly to blame for what happened, even though she didn’t do a damn thing wrong. There aren’t any good guys in situations like this. No one’s better or worse than anyone else. You go into a marriage as equals, and if you come out of it, you come out of it as equals, too.”

The corners of my eyes are burning as they meet Leven’s. In the low light provided by a small candle on the edge of the table, there’s a certain glint to her green irises as she looks at me, something I feel I may just be imagining there for my own sake.

Right as I go to answer her, our waiter reappears with another bottle of Dom Perignon. He sets it down on the edge of the table and then backs away as he flashes us a smile, the knowledge and slight guilt of his interrupting something there on his face. Leven’s hand uncurls from mine, reaching out and grabbing the bottle.

“Let’s get a little more rosé in you, yeah?” she propositions, one of her eyebrows lifting in invitation. “You should take me up on it, since next time I’ll be a cheap date.”

The laugh that comes out of my mouth seems to originate out of nowhere, but it feels genuine, and I don’t feel as though I’m trying to stretch myself out across all the cracks to keep from collapsing. Leven is one of the few places I can be in pieces, and she doesn’t mind if she has to dance around all the broken shards or clean herself up if I scratch her. She comes prepared with a dustpan and a broom, or simply throws herself off the mantle so I’m at least not in pieces alone.

“If that’s true, then you might not be getting another date with me,” I tease, holding out my glass for her to refill.

“Oh please, I’m irresistible,” she counters.

“Sure,” I drawl out, watching as the rosé splashes around the glass walls when Leven moves to pour me more. The low candlelight makes it look as though it’s twinkling.

She sets the bottle back down, and I’m quick to lift up my glass once she backs away. “Here’s to not being the bad guy anymore,” I offer.

Leven seems a little mystified by me presenting that up as a toast, but she doesn’t question it. Instead, she raises her own glass and clinks it against mine – if I didn’t know any better, and my mind was buzzing much more than it already is, I would have assumed I was sitting at another tea party with my daughter, Jack, and Jackie. “To not being the bad guy.”

I down nearly half the glass in the gulp I take, and Leven merely laughs.

Drinking your sorrows away works, after all, even if it is only for a brief moment.

[mytheoristavenue]

TMNT 2012 Leonardo Comfort Headcanons

I’m not feeling great, I have a stye on the inside of my eyelid right now and I crave comfort, so yeah, have some. 💕 Also, my left eye is nearly swollen shut so leave me alone about grammar errors. 😤

Summary: You injure yourself while sparring with Leo and he takes care of you.

Universe(s): 2012

Frimly, you gripped your bo, breaking into a sprint at Leo, as he wait to receive you at the other end of the dojo. With a shout, you lept at him, staff cocked behind your head, ready to slam it down against his head. Suddenly, as your right foot touched down on the mat, you screamed, feeling your ankle break with a sickening crack. You crashed to the floor, cursing with tears streaming down your cheeks. “(Y/N)!” Leo shouted, running to you, falling to his knees, and sliding to your side. “What happened, are you okay?”

You seethed with frustration at the intense pain. “I landed wrong! I thing i broke my ankle!” you shouted, punctuating with a sting of curses and sobs, clutching your ankle tightly. Without second thought, Leo scooped you up into his arms, and carrying you to the living toom, sliding the dojo door open with his foot. 

“Donnie! Get in here!” he ordered, setting you down on the coutch, catching both Mikey, and Raph’s attention as they crowded around you. Within seconds, Donateelo was by your side with a first aid kit, pushing his brothers away to give him room to manufacture your splint.

“It looks like a clean break, but I can’t be sure without a round of x-rays, but we can do that tomorrw. Right now, you’re in shock, you need rest. I’m gonna wrap your ankle witht he peice of wood, that should stablize your foot enough to let you rest.” The doctor of the family explained, tightly pulling a banage around your foot. “And I’ll give you an ice for the swelling whe we get you settled.”

You thanked him throguh your teeth, trying to calm your breathing, so as not to hyperventilate.”T-Thank you, Don. But how am I gonna get home?”

Donnie sighed. “I think you might just have to stay here for a few days. Don’t worry, I’ll compose a letter to your school and parents as a cover up.” You sighed in relief, Donnie always made sure to cover all bases, and you appreciate that.

Leo, who had been pacing back and forth, upon hearing this, rejoined the conversation between the two of you. “You can stay in my room, (Y/N), I’ll take the couch. It’s the least I can do.”

A few hours passed, and you were comfortablly snuggled in Leo’s sheets, well, as comfortable as you could be given your situation. Sleep had finally found you a short time earlier and you were currently resting peacefully underneath a Captain Ryan themed blanket. Outside the door, Leo gulped, ghosting a knock, terrified to distrub you, but he had food for oyu, and Donnie said you had to eat. Gently, he rapped his knuckles against the door and waited for a responce that never came. After repeating once or twice more, Leo finally found the courage to push the door ajar and pop his head in. There he found you in a hard sleep against his pillow, a sting of drool slipping down your chin. Leo couldn’t help but chuckle as he let himself in, set the plate of cooling pizza on the bed beside  you to find when you woke up, and began making his way back out of the room.

suddenly, footsteps caused you to stir from your slumber. Fluttering your eyes open, you sat up against oyur eblow, rubbing yoru eyes. “Leo?” Leo halted in his tracks, slowly turning around to flash you and embarrassed smile. 

“Oh, sorry, I was trying not to wake you up. I brought you some pizza. It was Mikey’s turn to pick, though, so you might wanna pick the anchovies off, heh.”

You smiled up at him sleepily, finding the plate and beginning to remove the toppings you didn’t like. “Thanks, Leo. Do you wanna come sit with me?” Hesitently, the turtle came and sat at the edge of the bed, beside your unhurt leg. 

“Look, (Y/N), I just wanna so I’m sorry you got hurt.”

You looked up at him, puzzled. “Why are you sorry, I fell on my own, it wasn’t your fault.”

He sighed, looking away form you. “Yeah, but I should have caught you, or I should’ve noticed that your footing was off, I-”

“Leo...” you said softly, setting yoru plate down beside you. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s okay.”

“I just get so disracted by you...I should have stayed focused, I just...can’t around you.”

“leo, what do you mean?” you asked, cautiously, blushing a bit, and fidgeting your hands with anxiety.

He let out another heavy sigh, before turnin back to meet your gaze. “I just think your really pretty, (Y/N). You’ve got these eyes that just...mesmorize me. Is that weird?”

You giggled, gently, linking your pinky around his. “I don’t think that’s weird at all.” And air of awkward, yet comfortable silence settled between the two of you for just a moment before your spoke again. “Hey...Leo? Do you maybe wanna, I don’t know...cuddle with me?” you asked softly, saving a captive breath to comensate for rejection.

“Y-Yeah, that sound’s awesome.”  he blushed as you scooted over to make room for him, and in return, he shimmied himself under the blanket, eveloping you in one arm, a sandwiching a pillow between the two of you for comfort.

Almost instictively, you nuzzled into the pillow against the side of his plastron, promping him to tense up for a moment before relaxing. “I feel better already.”

[violettelueur]

ITADORI YUJI + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + RYŌMEN SUKUNA || HOW THEY WOULD APOLOGISE TO THEIR MAD S/O

| featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + ryomen sakuna from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors and a lot of my side comments

| form : headcanons

| published : 27 november

| request : Hello! How are you? Hope you’re taking care of yourself :3 can I request headcanons for Itadori, Megumi, Gojo, and Sukuna making their s/o really mad for x reason and what they would do to make it up to them/apologize? Thank you have a great day/night!

| barista’s notes : hiya! this one was kind of hard for me to do since it was hard to come up with reason on why you were mad at them (some of them are really stupid in my opinion...ʕ ﾟ ● ﾟʔ) but this update is going to be the last one for the night since it is 12am aka midnight and i’m going back to school after being in isolation for 14 days!＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／thank you so much for requesting for a cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please come again soon!

ITADORI YUJI:

Itadori will be the most clueless boy ever and doesn’t even know that you are mad at him in the first place.

It might take a few days or a few hours at best for him to realise that you were mad at him - probably Fushiguro will tell him that you are pissed at the boy.

Once he FINALLY finds out that you are angry at him, he would try to think back on what he could have done to make you angry at him - and boy, does he think long and hard because once again to remind you: he is clueless.

Did he do something stupid again? Did he accidentally eat your food again? Did he forget something? DID HE FORGET AN IMPORTANT DATE? 

Yes, when he tries to recall what he did that made you annoyed at him, he does tend to overthink it.

You know what you were mad at him for? He had indeed eaten something of yours by accident. The reason why you were mad at him was because he ate the last of your ramen that you were saving after the mission that you were set was finished.

Now since Itadori thought he was completely screwed, he would full-on plan a whole game/movie night with you. 

Sukuna would lowkey mock the dude as Itadori was preparing his room causing our poor boy to worry even more since Sukuna was making him feel more nervous.

This preparation of his will include the game consoles set up, piles on DVDs on the table for you to choose for the both of you to watch and your favourite ramen that he brought from the closest store - that he also still doesn’t know he ate accidentally ate - cooked and set on the table for you guys to munch on.

Once everything is prepared, he would slap Sukuna’s mouth if he is still talking and would make his way to your room.

Now, this can go two different ways:

1. You are too stubborn to give in and refuse to leave the room that he would beg you and lowkey will physically drag you out of your room.

2. You would sigh and agree to follow him to see if he realises what was the issue and see what was going on because there was a lot of ruckus in his room from what you heard.

Once you see his room, you are generously surprised at what he had prepared since you didn’t think he would put this much effort to apologise to you - you generally just wanted a verbal ‘sorry’ but this was too cute to not forgive him.

Once both of you settle down and get into what YOU had chosen to do, he would apologize in a nervous tone since he STILL doesn’t know why you were mad at him.

“Yeah babe, I’m really sorry for what I did, well...I still don’t know what I did but I kinda notice you were mad at me and I didn’t know what to think since I thought I forgot a date that he planned or-”

This boy will ramble and ramble until you stop him by kissing him since you didn’t realise that he was overthinking it.

“Baby, don’t overthink it, I was mad because you ate the last ramen packet that I was saving but this whole thing really was a lot then what I expected, but thank you so much for preparing this whole thing! I love you!”

“Am I forgiven then?” - this boy I-

“Yes yes yes you are, I forgive you Yuji”

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: 

Fushiguro Megumi. Now how do I say this? This pretty boy will be between not realising that you are mad and realising instantly that he had angered you.

When he doesn’t realise that you are mad at him, he would notice the small behaviour changes that you express from a slight frown on your face or now you would give him short answers.

Short answers being: “yeah”, “alright”, “okay”, “nah” ect, with the longest answers being “that’s fine/cool” or “I’m not feeling it”

But! That was only towards him, with the other guys you would give more detailed answers to them, making him surprised since he probably asked the same thing.

Once he realised that you were annoyed, (like Itadori) he would try to wonder what he had done wrong and (unlike Itadori) he would most likely figure out what he had done wrong this time.

The reason why you were mad at him? You were angry at the pretty boy because he was hiding his feelings again.

Even though you knew that Fushiguro wasn’t one to express his emotions freely like the others, you both promised each other that you would go to each other when either one of you was having issues or problems that were bothering you.

And since you knew that Fushiguro held in his emotions, you allowed him time to come to you when he needed - but this time, you knew there was something that was bothering him extremely to the point where he was getting distracted during missions

Distracted to the point where he was nearly hit if you didn’t come to protect him and allow him to snap out of his daze.

Now that the reason was identified, Fushiguro would quickly try to figure out how to now apologise to you. 

Since Fushiguro is a good listener, he would most likely buy a small bouquet of your favourite flowers since he remembered you mentioning that random fact from a conversation that you both had around when you and Fushiguro first met, trying to get to know each other.

He doesn’t apologise in front of anyone because this little issue was about you and him and not everyone else.

So when he found you somewhere in the hallways, he would lightly place a hand on your shoulder before shoving the flowers in front of your face - since he didn’t want you to see his flushed face.

Of course, you are really surprised since who wouldn’t be when a bunch of your favourite flowers just randomly appear in your face.

Once you take the flowers from his grasp, he would probably have a hand scratching the back of his neck - why was he nervous now when seconds before he was just fine?

“I’m really sorry…….for not telling you what was going on, I just didn’t want to bother you with my issue and all that,” - this would be said in a low mumble that you nearly couldn’t catch what he said.

“Mimi, telling me what is bothering you isn’t a bother, I want you to be okay, just please when you’re comfortable to come to talk to me, if you need a shoulder to lean on, I’m right here,”

There are times when Fushiguro forgets that you don’t mind him ranting off when he needs to and that you are a shoulder that he can lean on - he just used to keeping everything in until he met you.

“Also, you remember my favourite flowers, thank you so much, Mimi, you are forgiven, I love you,”

Just seeing you smile at him again after so long is enough for him to smile as well, knowing that you have forgiven him.

GOJO SATORU:

Mr Gojo ‘steal your girl’ Satoru. 

Now this man will make you mad on a daily but not to the point where you are now.

And Gojo will notice INSTANTLY that you are mad at him because he is so used to making you mad due to his constant teasing.

But this time you weren’t mad at him because he took his teasing over the line. No, no, no, you were mad at him because he was late for your date.

Even though Gojo is known to be very handsome and the ‘perfect’ person to everyone on the outside of the shaman world, his lateness was one of his worst traits about him.

Sometimes you ask yourself if he does this on purpose - but in the back of your mind, you know that he attracts many curses and that he had to fight them - but this time, you knew that he was late because he was just late.

So while you’re waiting for him with a slight scowl on your face, you would constantly check your phone to see if he texts you or just to check the time.

Of course, he would send the usual ‘I’m going to be late’ with a cute emoji at the end - like that was going to make your anger lessen at all.

But when he does text you that he had arrived at the date location, you were ready to explode at him for making you wait - for like how many dates now?

However, once he arrives with his fashionably late safe, he would come prepares - Haha try to get mad at him now~

In his hands, there would probably be a white bag containing the souvenir that he had been wanting to give you after his mission but didn’t have the time to, or a white box containing your favourite cake from your favourite cake shop/cafe/bakery.

Damn it, this guy knows that food always solves every issue~

“Sorry for being late to our date honey~ I wanted to get you your favourite cake that I forgot that there was going to be a long line at this time, hope you can forgive me~”

THEN THIS MAN WILL TILT HIS SUNGLASSES GLASSES TO LET YOU SEE HIS CRYSTAL BLUE EYES - LIKE WHY????

Damn it, now you can’t stay angry at this man.

The fact that he dressed up so nice, got you your favourite cake and let you see his beautiful eyes made you realise that you can no longer be mad at him.

Like the boy put in the effort today…

Taking the cake from his hands, you would probably blush and say “thank you...but I’m still mad at you”

If you say this, be prepared for this man to cup your cheeks and continuously kiss you, trying to affectionately make you forgive him. 

Okay okay okay, now he’s just trying to be very very cute.

“Am I forgiven now honey~ I’m sorry that I made you wait, please don’t be mad at me”

“Okay, okay! I forgive you!”

Expect that cheeky smile that he would give you after you forgive him - I mean like, you have to now.

RYOMEN SUKUNA:

Apologise? Would he? Does he even know what ‘sorry’ means? Do you think he would?

If he really cares about you, he would probably push away his pride and there would be a 50/50 chance that he would apologise, so don’t expect it much.

But if you were really mad at him and ignore him for most of the day, he would probably get very very annoyed.

Why weren’t you paying him any attention? Why weren’t you looking at him? Why weren’t you asking for him to shift with Yuji and let him have you all to himself? Why?

The reason? You were mad at him because he exorcised a curse that you knew you had the capability to do yourself.

Does he think you're weak? You were just angry at the thought of Sukuna thinking you were frail since you were an independent woman and he had no right to do your goddamn job.

Once he gets to his boiling point, he would demand Itadoru to switch with him and if his vessel would ignore him for your sake, he would continuously shout at the boy even when he is trying to sleep - poor Itadori……

Once it gets too much for the boy, Itadori would run to you and just randomly grab your shoulders to stop you from what you were doing and quickly explain what was going on.

“Okay, I’m going to switch with Sukuna and you are going to talk to him. He’s been annoying me ever since you stopped talking to him, please shut him up!”

Then before you would even get a single syllable out of your mouth, he would just switch quickly to let the both of you deal with your situation.

“Okay woman, talk to me! What have I done?”

You would probably just stare at with an annoyed look and tut at him before turning your head away like he doesn’t exist.

However, he doesn’t take this action of yours lightly and would probably grab your chin - gently since you are mad at him - and would just start leaving biting your neck.

“Sukuna! Stop it, the marks are going to show!”

“Not until you tell me what I have done wrong woman”

“Sukuna! OKAY! You think I’m weak and I hate the fact that you think I am, I can exorcise curses myself you know!”

Ha? You were mad at him for protecting you? Sukuna thought that it was ridiculous that you were mad at him for that reason - but will just go with the flow because even though you were just a powerful sorcerer to him, you being angry was a slight fear of his (Sukuna fears Oh my….)

“Idiot, I was protecting you”

“I can protect myself dickhead”

“Ha? I apologise, then, there done, do you forgive me?”

Sukuna….what type of apology was that?

If you say no, he would just continue to bite on your neck to make you forgive him since he really wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer.

“Sukuna! Stop it!”

“Not until you forgive me little one,”

Ah, that nickname always gets to you, doesn’t it? - Girl, I don’t blame you….

“FINE FINE FINE! I forgive you, just stop biting my neck”

Looking up at you and looking you at dead in the eyes, he would literally say, “I don’t think so, I was actually having some fun marking your neck, let me continue little one”

I-.....go ahead…….

[beoneofus]

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙩 ?

fandom: the lost boys

michael emerson x male! reader

length: long-ish

warnings: insecurities mention, fear of a same sexed relationship, slight homophobia, swearing, tough! greaser! male reader, verbal aggression and verbally hurting michael, angst overall ( small steamy scene and fluff at the end )

a/n: I'm in a angst-to-fluff mood for some reason. thought michael would be a perfect fit for this. hopefully you enjoy this :). / ps. michael is a vampire in this! also not proof read, sorry for any spelling errors! /

( unedited, 4.25.22 )

“ y/n, wait! ”

mud-caked, black timberland boots harshly slapped against the clustered pavement of the cliff's ground. while the foot steps were fast paced and the person behind them was fuming, a panic stricken male rushed after the person; pace fast, though hesitant, filled with anxiety. it was unfamiliar for this particular male to be so nervous, but around this certain person, he always seemed to be just that.

“ piss off, leach! ” the person in questioned snarled harshly over their shoulder; over his shoulder. the occupant was a male, himself; a rather nasty, dark-clad asshole that held the reputation of a hood-rat from the south. “ keep far 'way from me! come anyw're near me again and 'll rip out yer' fuckin' tongue an' stomp 't into the damn pavement! ” the words coming out of his mouth were cruel, far too cruel for anyone sane. part of the reason why the other male, who had flinched at the man's words, was so allured to him.

“ I said I was sorry! ” the brunette picked up his pace, to where he was only a few beats off behind his long-term crush. “ please just listen! I'm sorry for not telling you! ”

y/n stopped in his tracks abruptly, eyes narrowed into dangerous slits while his upper lip twitched in pure agitation. he didn't know why the sudden, cracked plea coming from michael's mouth forced him to quit walking, but he knew he was sick of this. all of this. why was he feeling bad? why was his heart... aching at the fact michael kept this from him, or the thought that he might have hurt the brunette's feelings? he was so confused; so mad that he didn't understand this. overall, though, he wanted to know why out of everybody in the world, he chose to stick by this little annoying fuck's side.

“ sorry? ” the six-foot-tall male turned, eyes gleaming in utter-dislike in the paleness of the moonlight that covered them both. “ yer' sorry? you kept it from me that yer'a fuckin' vampire, michael. how th'fuck does sorry even cut that? ” scoffing, y/n shook his head while looking over the kicked puppy dog expression on the face of his best friend. “ not to mention, you an' yer' little nit-witted friends tried t'fuckin' turn me. against my will, might I fuckin' add. ”

“ I know - I know! ” michael's hurt filled eyes dropped to the ground, the pebbles blowing around on the earth's floor seeming a lot more interesting in that moment. while dark blue, frightened hues threatened to me anger filled ones, bright pink lips shook as a sharp inhale was taken. “ I'm sorry for that.. I really am. It was david's idea - the other guys' didn't seem to mind it, and I.. I thought it was a good idea, too.. ” he swallowed thickly, as a small chirp of silence passed.

y/n opened his mouth, ready to talk once more, but michael beat him to it, “ — I thought it was a good idea, because you're my mate. ” tear glazed specs flickered up to meet the others', who's eyes were now wide; filled with disbelief. “ my soulmate. I didn't know those were real - I thought david was just messin' around with me and pulling another mind trick, when he told me about soulmates. ” quickly looking away, he shakily ran his hands through his messy curls. “ told me they were rare for vampires, 'cause not many get to live long enough to meet the one they're destined to be with for eternity. I thought it was a joke.. a sick joke.. ”

one hand lowered, while the other pushed back the heap of hair that began to settle on his forehead; love stricken, dilated pupils looking back over at the guy who stole his breath away. they raked over his face, taking in every inch of it; the dip of his nose, the slight dark circles under his eyes, the small dimple in his left cheek, the sharpness of his jawline.. and everything more. “ but then you came along exactly six months ago. ” a lop sided smile grazed michael's lips, as their eyes met once more. “ I saw you fighting that surfer nazi at the end of the boardwalk and I immediately knew - somehow I just knew, you were the soulmate david was referring to. ”

“ michael- ”

“ — that's why I introduced myself by playing you out of big ed's hands, ” the brunette continued to speak, being apologetic about cutting off y/n, but needing to let this all out. “ maybe it could've happened differently, or later on, but I wanted to meet you then and there. ” michael's head lowered, hair sweeping off to the side as the midnight breeze picked up. he bit down onto his bottom lip, while peaking up at the annoyed looking man before him, through his lashes. “ I'm glad we met then, though; I've been the happiest I've ever been, since. ”

y/n silently processed the information he was given, arms slack at his sides; though, his left index finger aggressively scratched at his thumb. nail inwardly picking at his already injured, cuticle. “ mike.. ” he started off slowly, his usual stone-cold expression setting in; irises that had once softened, now turning stern. “ I can't be yer' soulmate.. ” a sharp intake of breath invaded the taller male's lungs, when the former man's face dropped. “ I'm not gay.. I can't be gay. ” his own eyes fell to the cemented ground below, flickering back and forth between the various rocks that covered said ground. “ 've never.. seen a guy that way b'fore. 'm not allowed t' see a guy that way. ”

the greasers jaw clenched tightly, and michael spotted that. although his heart was practically clenching in his chest, he said nothing; much too worried for the gruff looking guy before him.

“ — 's disgusting, a fuckin' crime. ” specs once again turning bitter, they switched onto the hurt brunette that stood silent. “ m'dad would fuckin' skin me 'f he caught me hangin' with a lacky queer like you, emerson. ”

although the homophobic insults hit him like a million sharp mirror shards, the fact that y/n felt it was wrong to like the same sex, all because his father and possibly others said so, hurt even worse. his soulmate, the one he was meant to kiss and hug forever, couldn't even do that with him because he was too busy hiding in the closet. there's no way y/n wasn't gay; he was michael's fucking mate, for christ sake.

“ that's a lie and you know it.. ” michael spoke up, after a full three minutes of the two of them staring each other down. by the way y/n's eyes slightly widened, he could tell that the hoodlum was caught off guard. “ you have had feelings for a guy before, ” the curly haired eighteen-year-old began walking closer, gaze hardly set. “ you still do. ” he neared y/n, until he was only a few inches away; a little too hesitant to step any closer, seeing as the former tensed up. “ you're just too afraid to admit it. you don't want to disappoint your dick of a dad. ”

rotating his jaw, lips pressed tightly together, y/n once again narrowed his eyes at the emerson boy. “ 'm not afraid of shit, ” he growled, now pissed since his threatening image seemed to be crashing right before him. “ you're just some little, pissy fairy that can't get it through his head that the guys he wants, doesn't want him back. ” with each step closer to michael, the toes of the male's boots crunching into the pebbles below, michael back away, until eventually his shoulder blades pressed into the solid surface of the rocky wall behind him.

now, merely two inches apart; faces only about an inch and a half away from each other, the l/n man smirked sinisterly. “ am I right, emerson? yer' jus' scared 'f bein' 'lone forever, so y'made up that bullshit soulmate story t' try an' lure me in; hm? ”

michael, instead of cowering away like y/n expected him to, look him straight in the eye and shook his head; causing the taller of the two's smirk, to drop. “ you're wrong. I didn't make anything up. ” leaning forward, just slightly, their noses brushed against one another's. his eyelids fluttered, as he tried his best not to kiss the angered greaser in front him. too bad he didn't see y/n actually eyeing him hungrily when he made that facial expression.

“ I love you, y/n.. ” michael mumbled, finally settling to look him in the eye again. when y/n stared back at him, lips slightly parted, he grinned lazily. “ maybe you don't feel the same now.. but- ” before the curly haired teenager could finish his thought, lips smashed into his own, catching him off guard. he gasped, as rough hands found either of his hips and squeezed them roughly; causing him to quietly grunt out. it took a few seconds, but michael eventually snapped into reality and realized what was happening.. y/n was kissing him.

and god did it feel like heaven.

pressing back into him, lips pushing against the taller male's, michael let his arms loop around the other's leather-clad shoulders. his head tilted to the side, so more access was given; y/n of course, taking this to his advantage to slip his tongue passed the brunette's lips. usually, michael would be a full time tease, but since he didn't want this moment to go to waist, he happily open his mouth; inviting his mate in.

just as their tongue brushed up against one another, is when y/n jerked back; finally taking in what he just did. his eyes were blown wide open, a shocked look on his face as the back on his hand was lifted to his mouth. wiping the fallen saliva, from his lips.

he looked up at michael, as michael, in surprise, looked back at the male. “ y/n - ”

y/n turned, and went to run, but the vampire already knew his motives; using his abilities to quickly rush to the frightened greaser, and hug him from behind. “ stop! ”

the more dominant one instantly stopped in his tracks. jaw clenched, skin now hot in both embarrassment and from being flustered. he didn't know what to do, nor say, and actually was scared of something so small, for once in his life. he was supposed to be tough - mostly everyone was supposed to fear him, and yet he couldn't even come to terms with the fact that he liked men. what kind of greaser was he?

“ y/n, just.. look at me.. ” michael slowly released his grip on the taller man. arms loosening, until they fell from his waist. the brunette circled y/n, until his foot steps came to a stop in front of him; deep blue eyes filled with concern, looking up at the terrified southern. “ listen to me.. ” michael's voice was low, but thick and sweet like raw honey, as he spoke. “ you don't have to be afraid of liking me, or loving me, or even any other guy. ” he reached down to take one of y/n's hands into his own. although the ( dark/medium/light ) haired male flinched, he didn't let go; instead, intertwining their fingers together. it was a relief when the greaser decided to give a slight grip, back.

“ — it's not wrong to love the same sex.. whatever your father, or anyone else told you, they were lying. ” he stepped closer, cradling their held hands to his chest. “ it's not any different from a man and a woman's love. we're all still the same - we all still bleed red, we all still have flesh and bone in our bodies. we all still breathe the same air, and live on the same planet. it doesn't make us any different by loving who we decide to love. ” the siwlred-haired male muttered, looking over his beloved's expression. he still looked anxious, but seemed to be calming down, by the way his heart rate was starting to slow beat by beat. “ sexuality isn't a choice; you're born with a given. the people who have a problem with that, are the people that are made to be a lesson. nothing more, nothing less. ”

y/n still stayed quiet, not really knowing what to say. though, his orbs did manage to hold more of a relaxed flow now. “ I want you to know that.. ” the hood's attention stayed on michael, as he continued to speak. “ you don't have to keep anyone in your life, that diminish you all because of who you're attracted to.. you're allowed to cut them out. ” michael's free hand lifted up, to caress over y/n's cheek; palm feeling over the soft peach fuzz of stubble. “ you can live your own life, y/n.. ”

for a few minutes, silence overtook the two beings standing together; nothing but the howling of the wind picking up, surrounding them. michael's eyes stayed focused on the face of his lover, while y/n's eyes planted to the distance. thoughts clouding his mind; decisions being made.

“ 'f I were t' drink from that bottle, an' become like you.. ” y/n's gravely, now emotion filled voice, rang through the air; causing michael to slightly grin. “ my life could change? ” he focused his vision back onto the vampire, orbs full of curiosity and determination. “ I could start over; go my own route? ”

nodding, almost too eagerly, michael hummed. “ of course you can.. you can also be with me.. ” he squeezed the greaser's palm to his own, fluttering his eyes once again. “ we could be together. ”

( dark/medium/light ) specs switched over michael's face, studying his expression with uncertainty. “ you swear on it? ”

michael, lifting their conjoined hands up, only to kiss the back of the greaser's, grinned in reassurance. “ I swear on it, y/n. I wouldn't lie to you. I'll do anything to make you happy. ”

a small, lop sided, playful grin grew on y/n's lips. “ y'can start by gettin' a better haircut. ”

“ anything but that. ”

“ aw, c'mon! y'd look good with shorter hair! ”

[bb-8]

Tech Savvy

Pairing: Tech x female reader Summary:  You’re an ex-imperial who has a crush on Tech. He’s awkward about it. Until he’s not. Rating: Explicit (18+, minors DNI) Warnings/tags: crack treated seriously, smut, unprotected PIV, awkward flirting, oral sex, first kisses, accidental exhibitionism, lots of bad jokes, slight angst Word count: 5.4K Notes: It’s smutty crack treated seriously, guys. Read on AO3.

The planet you land on isn’t anything special. It’s a humid swamp world in the Outer Rim that offers enough seclusion for even the Empire’s Most Wanted to pass by unnoticed.

You, being the kind and selfless individual you are, decide to help with repairs while Clone Force 99 are on a supply run. It’s the first time the ship has made planet fall in weeks and everyone is a bit stir-crazy, jumping at the chance to stretch their legs. Prolonged time spent in hyperspace has that effect.

Before he left, you told Hunter that your status as an ex-Imperial put an unnecessary target on their back. You’re still wearing your Imperial uniform, after all, and you know for a fact that the Empire is not exactly merciful to deserters. Especially deserters that committed high treason. Like aiding Clone Force 99’s escape from an Imperial prison.

You definitely didn’t just jump at the chance to stay behind because Tech opted to. That would be ridiculous.

You feel your face heat at the thought.

(What? His goggles are cute.)

The truth is, there’s been something – a tension, as it were – between the two of you since you arrived on board. You know it, he knows it. You’ve been orbiting around each other for some weeks now, and this is the first time you’ve been alone –

“Can you spare a minute?” Tech calls out, pulling you away from your thoughts. You swivel in your chair and shift your attention to him, a bit surprised.

“I was beginning to think you didn’t realise I was on board,” you reply as you make your way to the cockpit where Tech is currently fiddling with some wires.

“You’re...very hard to miss,” Tech replies and your heart skips a beat. “The ship is far too small to miss another sentient being’s presence.”

“Right,” you mutter while taking a seat, trying not to sound too deflated. So maybe he didn’t feel that tension. “What do you need help with?”

“I am taking this opportunity to rewrite the ship’s central comm unit to be more covert when passing through areas with increased Imperial traffic. If I can update the ship’s communication infrastructure to resemble that of a first generation Imperial craft, then we will considerably reduce our chances of being identified. Which is why I am particularly glad you stayed behind today. Considering your, er, history.” He fiddles with a mess of wires in front of him, not once looking up.

“And here I was thinking you wanted me around because you enjoyed my company,” you playfully jab.

“There’s that, too,” Tech replies. “Though it would be advantageous if you could list all of the Imperial access codes you can remember. The computer and I can do some pattern recognition to better–,” he cut himself off and anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. “Apologies, you don’t need a long-winded explanation. If you’re happy to share, you can do so whenever you’re ready.”

You consider protesting and telling him that you find his rambling cute, but you decide not to dwell on it for his sake. You list the codes you remember from the Academy. You keep talking, relaying any tangential intel relating to access codes. If it’s irrelevant, Tech doesn’t stop you.

He is silent for a few moments analysing the data you’ve given him. You watch him closely, admiring the way his brow furrows and his lips purse while he’s concentrating.

“You trust me then?” you venture to say. You play with your hands in your lap. “Even though I was with the Empire?”

“You’re helping us now,” Tech replies, as if it’s obvious. He is still inputting data into the datapad he is holding when he continues, “You trust us, it would seem. And we were soldiers programmed upon our creation to destroy the Republic.”

You fumble over your next words.

“That’s – it’s entirely different.”

“And from my perspective, all that matters is where you are now,” he states with finality.

“Well,” you say shyly, “I like where I am.”

Tech smirks despite himself, briefly glancing up at you from his datapad.

You hold his gaze for a moment, before settling into a comfortable silence. You sit in next to him for several minutes, revelling in his closeness like a brezak basking under the Zygerrian sun. It’s only when you notice yourself blushing like a teenager that you decide to make yourself useful and actually help with repairs like you promised.

++++++++++++++++++++

“Would you mind holding this wire out of the way for me while I solder the capacitors for the localised memory bank?” Tech calls, breaking your concentration. The illumination device you were repairing could wait.

You have no idea what Tech means, if his string of words means anything, and you survey his makeshift workbench for a hint. Several panels are detached, limply dangling from a few brightly coloured wires. Tech is focusing his attention on a large panel that is plugged into a cylindrical storage device.

“Maker, that’s a big data stick,” you can’t help but mutter.

Tech makes an incoherent choking sound.

You do as requested and lean over his shoulder to take hold of the wire he specified between your thumb and forefinger. The fabric of your sleeves brushes against his shoulder armour and it feels as though there is a static shift in the air, like the air around you is alive and humming.

And Tech gulps with the contact. He types a few sets of numbers into his datapad with excess force, seriously testing the build quality of the device. His posture is especially rigid as focuses on testing the wires currently in his lap.

Your pulse is racing. It’s as if each second that passes without a confession threatens to rip apart the very fabric of reality.

“Tech?” He has to feel this too, right? “Why...why did you stay behind today?” you ask, careful to keep your voice even. You need him to say it, admit that he feels it, too. You’re desperate for it.

“You can let go now,” he replied, pointedly ignoring your question.

You let go of the wire, but make no move to step away from him. You’re acutely aware of yourself right now and suddenly self-conscious: about the deep shade of crimson enveloping your face, the way you’re breathing, the clamminess you can feel on your palms. You hope you smell alright and silently pray that any traces of caf on your breath are long gone.

Several seconds pass before Tech looks up, over his shoulder at you. His face briefly flickers with concern.

“Your flushed features and increased heart rate indicates that you are nervous,” he remarks.

Maker, is it that obvious, you cringe.

Your mouth is dry and you contemplate making an excuse, but your brain does not want to cooperate.

“Sometimes I –,” you begin. Void, here I go. “Sometimes I get nervous around you,” you admit, attempting to make your confession sound as casual as possible. You bite your bottom lip in a way that you hope will be interpreted as sensual, or, at the very least, cute.

And Tech? Tech is flustered. Like visibly shaken, blushing furiously, two-steps-away-from-hyperventilating, kind of flustered.

“Please do not be nervous,” he responds tightly. Each word is taking considerable effort to be spoken. “I already told you: we trust you. I am not a threat to you.”

The poor guy. There’s no way he can really be misinterpreting that –.

“No, no, it’s a good kind of nervous,” you attempt to clarify.

“Nervousness is not conducive to high quality work,” Tech chokes out.

“No, I mean like giddy. I feel giddy around you.”

Come on, Tech.

“Would you like a chair–.”

“Stars, Tech, I like you!”

Tech...errors. He attempts to start several sentences with no success before mumbling an excuse that he has to go, “fix the reverse polarity capacitive inductor,” which, to your knowledge, is definitely not a real thing.

So maybe that could have gone better. All things considered, he did seem affected by your admission. On the other hand, he also left the room entirely.

Your face burns with embarrassment and, hey, maybe this backwater planet could make a decent home. Maybe the swamp water would be safe for consumption and you could spend the rest of your days foraging for swamp... berries. Sure, it might be a little uncomfortable, but no less uncomfortable than staying here for one more second.

And this is why you don’t admit your feelings to anyone. Ever.

Ugh. You were so confident, too. You squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself to transport to another star system.

The door to the ‘fresher shuts, followed by a slight scuffle of feet, and a thunk that sounds decidedly like a head hitting the door.

You briefly consider leaving the ship to attempt to meet up with the rest of the Bad Batch. It’s been far too long since you’ve breathed fresh, clean, air and you feel a second wave of self-pity wash over you as you contemplate the thought of breathing in the smell of Wrecker’s feet for several more weeks in the Marauder’s circulated air. They hadn’t been gone longer than a standard hour and there was a clear path to get into town. You could still salvage the day, you could still stretch your legs–

‘Oh you want to know why I suddenly decided to join you, Hunter, after promising I’d help fix the ship? Funny story, I was trying to seduce your brother and he rejected me!’

You physically cringe at that. On second thought, maybe just pretending this didn’t happen would be the easier option. Lesser of two evils and all that.

Well, you’ve endured worse situations than this. Swamp berries, if they exist, probably won’t offer enough sustenance anyway, you conclude. You turn your attention to fixing several access panels that require little to no attention.

++++++++++++++++++++

It takes a long while for Tech to exit the ‘fresher. The door opens with a hiss and you stiffen, not looking up until he briskly walks past you and resumes his makeshift work station in the cockpit. Once he is seated and his back is facing you and you can hear the rhythmic tapping of his fingers on his datapad, you allow your entire body to relax.

You look back down to your newest project: fixing the swivel action on a chair. You’re not entirely sure if the chair needed to swivel, or whether it was supposed to, but it does now. At least Omega would have fun with that.

“Can you spare another minute?” Tech says after a considerable stretch of silence.

His comment catches you off-guard. It’s fine, it’s fine, you are just going to pretend like nothing happened. You can just carry on helping with actual repairs like you promised.

“I’m coming,” you say, while putting your entire weight into tightening a screw.

Tech coughs slightly.

“The, uh, I need your help with the cum system. The comm system!” he stutters.

Your eyes widen and decide it’s best not to comment, furiously thinking about the fact that Tech rarely makes mistakes. You wipe your hands on your trousers and stride over to the cockpit where Tech is fiddling with some wires on his lap.

“Take these,” he says while coiling a piece of wire to make a conductor. He pushes right through the awkwardness and places a handful of resistors in your outstretched hand.

You stand there in silence for several moments before you drum your fingers on the back of his chair. He makes no move to immediately utilise the resistors, so you resign yourself to stand there and watch him work. (You suppress a sigh – you wish you weren’t attracted to him at this moment, but here you are, drawn in by his confidence and fixated on watching his nimble fingers work their magic.)

Normally, you’d have already lost your patience. But not now, not when you are trying to decipher just what exactly Tech was trying to accomplish by calling you over and ignoring you. And that’s when you realise that Tech either forgot you were there or forgot to give you whichever menial task he originally intended.

But there’s absolutely no chance that Tech makes two mistakes within the same standard year, never mind two mistakes within the same afternoon.

You start to wonder if he even has any use for the resistors. Your knowledge of technology is limited, but you really don’t see how they’d be useful with his current task. Maybe this is Tech’s uncharacteristically inefficient way to try to initiate conversation. You really hope you’re not completely misreading the situation, but it’s not like you have any pride left to lose.

“Why did you stay behind today, Tech?” you ask quietly, voice tinged with apprehension and perhaps an unmistakable eagerness. You phrase it more like a statement than a question this time.

He continues to fidget, his leg bouncing anxiously as he works.

“I did some research,” he blurts. “Regarding intimacy between human males and human females.”

Huh.

“I read the specifics on how to kiss,” he continues, “but I fear that I am a bit out of my depth as to how I am supposed to initiate it.” He is still fussing with the wires in his lap, not quite able to look up at you.

“You...want to kiss?” you surmise, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. “Me?”

“Very much so.”

A grin breaks across your face and the sharp sting of Tech’s previous rejection immediately melts away. You deposit the handful of resistors in a tray containing various tools Tech had been using throughout the day before taking a tentative step forward from behind the chair. He cranes his neck to look at you, an unfamiliar expression that you’re not quite able to decipher written across his face.

You reach your hand out to caress his cheek, and sliding your hand down to his chin to guide it upwards as you bend down to bring your lips to his. The kiss is chaste, at first, but Tech proves himself a quick study as slightly parts his lips to deepen the kiss. His goggles nudge against your face and you’re pretty sure you’re leaving a greasy cheek print on one of them.

You pull away to gauge his reaction.

“Was that... satisfactory?” he asks, seemingly dazed. His eyes are hooded and still focused on your lips.

“It was perfect.” You offer a small smile.

He removes the goggles to clean one side of them with a nearby cloth. So you were leaving a cheek print. Once his goggles are back in place, he’s looking at you like he can’t quite believe you’re real, his golden brown eyes blinking owlishly at you.

“I apologise for leaving you earlier. I did not anticipate you returning my affections – it did not seem probable. And I was, regrettably, not prepared,” he mumbles.

“Probable?” It’s your turn to malfunction. You want to usher a thousand reassurances at once.

“Well, no.” Tech shifts his weight uncomfortably, not quite able to meet your eyes. “Hunter or Crosshair usually are the ones who capture the affections of –,”

“I like your goggles,” you interrupt in a rush before you surge forward to press your lips against his, hoping to convey just how much you return his affections. It’s a messy, urgent kiss that Tech returns with equal fervour. His fingers find their way into your hair, pulling you closer.

When you finally break the kiss, you straighten your back and take both of his hands in yours and take small, hesitant steps backwards, encouraging Tech to stand. As he does, the project he is working on slides off of his lap and clatters to the floor. He pays it no attention as he closes the distance between you, his eyes darkened with lust. He kisses you with renewed purpose as his hands wrap around your waist, roaming across your body, before they settle firmly on your ass.

Your hips grind into his codpiece and Tech lets out a low groan that goes straight to your core. He moves to kiss the curve of your neck, sucking at the delicate skin and making you squirm. The dampness between your legs becomes apparent and you press yourself closer to him, desperate for friction where you need it the most. As if he can read your mind, he trails a hand from your ass and places it between your legs, grazing over your clit before cupping your cunt. You involuntarily rock into his hand and moan into his mouth, hardly recognising the sounds you’re making.

Tech’s hand abruptly stills as he draws back to meet your eyes. His expression mirrors yours: searching wide eyes filled with longing, a silent acknowledgement passes between you as you reach the point of no return.

And in that moment you are struck with the urge to want nothing more than his cock in your mouth.

“Can I?” you blurt, glancing downward, hoping he is able to intuit exactly what you are suggesting in that moment.

“You may.” You allow the grammatical correction to slip by. “But I’ve never–,” he begins.

You don’t break eye contact and you begin to drop to your knees. He’s looking at you with his eyes wide, mouth slack. Tech’s bulged codpiece is mere inches from your face, and it’s in that moment that you realise that you have no idea how to undress this man.

And this, this is when you start to worry.

Does it have a latch? Does it even come off?

Your eyes dart from left to right looking for some sort of hint as to how it could be removed. You’re half tempted to just plant a smooch on the armour or the kiss inside of his thigh and pretend that all of this was intentional.

“I can get that,” Tech helpfully chimes in, blessedly oblivious to your internal struggle. He removes the pelvic plate with ease and, to your relief, you can see the shape of his erection straining under a layer of thick black fabric. Black fabric that conforms to his body shape exceedingly well. You reach out to feel his length, gently cupping his balls through the fabric before applying more pressure as you palm his shaft. He soft groan escapes his lips.

It catches you a little off guard, actually, to see him so hard. Knowing he’s been hard underneath his armour this entire time. Wondering when else he’s been hard and you had been none the wiser.

His cock has an attractive silhouette – it’s thicker than you expected and you can feel the patch of pre-cum that dampens the black fabric near his tip. You reach for his waistband and pull it down before slowly wrapping a hand around his shaft. He hisses with the contact and brings a white-knuckled fist to his lips.

You peer up at him through your lashes and you lick your lips, preparing to tease him a bit before taking him as deep as you can manage.

And that’s when something inside Tech snaps.

He looks down at you with wild eyes and places his hand on the back of your head to guide your mouth to his cock, apparently unable to continue the role of a passive observer for any longer. Clearly intent at putting his newfound research to good use. You lick a wet stripe from the base to the tip, before taking him in your mouth, the pre-cum tangy on your tongue. His grip tightens on your hair the same time he tilts his hips forward to push his cock further and you hollow your cheeks, sucking hard enough to make Tech groan and his knees buckle. He braces himself against the back of the pilot’s chair, captivated at the sight your mouth stretched around his length.

You begin to bob your head in a steady rhythm, taking him as deep as you’re able. You drag your tongue and press it flush on the underside of his cock, looking up at Tech with wide doe eyes, batting your eyelashes prettily as he struggles to maintain composure. You continue your pace until sweat starts to bead at his temple and his breathing becomes less controlled.

Patience isn’t your strong point and you’re too pent up not to touch yourself. You bring your free hand down your trousers, between your thighs, running your fingers through your wet folds and hum at the sensation. Tech’s hips stutter with the vibrations and his face contorts in what looks like a pained grimace. He takes a miniature step back and your lips leave his cock with a pop. He’s breathing heavily now and his weeping cock is painfully hard, his balls tight.

“I don’t want to finish in your mouth, mesh’la,” he pants, voice low.

You nod dumbly, currently unable to form a coherent thought or tear your eyes away from his erect length, only inches away from your face.

Tech takes hold of both of your forearms, helping you get to your feet, before wrapping his hands around your thighs, picking you up with surprising ease. You lock your thighs around his torso as he strides over to press you against one of the auxiliary control panels adjacent to the co-pilot’s chair in the cockpit. The incline on the panel is steep and the pressure of his hips against yours is the only thing keeping you from sliding down.

“Let me taste you,” Tech groans against your ear.

You let out a frustrated whine and desperately move to unclasp your trousers as Tech works to open your shirt. You shudder once the cool air hits your sweat-dampened skin and Tech messily palms your exposed breast while nipping at your neck. He helps you shimmy out of your clothing while holding you in firmly place before discarding them on the floor of he Marauder.

And this is how you find yourself spread eagle on the Marauder's control panel in possibly the most undignified position you’ve ever been in.

He goes to remove his goggles and you stop him.

“If they’re not uncomfortable for you, I’d like for you to leave them on.” He quirks a brow at you, quizzical. “What? I told you that they’re cute.”

His face evolves from sceptical to bashful in a few moments.

“Very well, then. I can leave them on.”

Tech moves his hands under your thighs as he lowers himself, draping your legs across each of his shoulders with surprising gentleness for a man who looks like he is ready to devour you. Once he’s on his knees and comfortably supporting your weight, keeping you pressed against the console, he places an open-mouthed kiss on the inside of your thigh.

“A-are you okay with this?” you manage to stutter out. It’s not like you haven’t pictured his head between your thighs before, but something about his head actually being between your thighs fills you with a nervousness you hadn’t anticipated.

He mumbles his assurances against your clit. He begins with slow, languid licks and you suck in a sharp breath as you feel yourself craving more and have to stop yourself from violently bucking your hips up.

Okay, so he’s actually really good at this. You know you really shouldn’t be that surprised, Tech is nothing if not thorough with his research and it’s, er, practical applications. Any thoughts of humour at Tech’s expense are, however, ripped from your mind when he sinks a single finger inside your cunt. His finger curls with a precision that only Tech could manage and you moan in encouragement as he pumps it in and out.

You squirm when he hits the spot that makes you want to beg for more and you feel your bare ass hit a button on the console. The next thing you hear is a soft swish swish sound of the Marauder's screen wipers that you inadvertently turned on. Mercifully, it doesn’t break Tech’s concentration and his hands continue to grip your hips, holding your cunt to his face.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you chant. You writhe again and another button sounds its activation. Nothing immediately makes itself known. You hope it’s not something like a proton torpedo firing into the swampy area the Marauder landed in. Not because there’s anything nearby, but because you’ll die if Tech stops here.

He moans into your core as he brings a hand down to grip his leaking cock, desperate for some friction.

“Kriff,” you grunt at the sight of him fucking his fist, only to hear Tech utter the same exclamation at the same time.

“Is there an echo in here or something?” You smile at him, offering a half-laugh before your face contorts with pleasure once again and you hiss through your teeth.

“Yes?” a new, tinny voice chimes in on the overhead speaker system. “This is Echo... You’ve, uh, turned on the short range comm system.”

You knew Tech was a good soldier, but the reflexes in which he slammed the short range comm transmitter with his free hand surprised you. He didn’t move himself from between your thighs and skilfully cut off the transmission while continuing to work your clit with his tongue and your cunt with his finger.

Before you could die from embarrassment and wonder just how much Echo and the rest of the Batch heard, Tech adds another finger and your entire body jerks and tenses.

“I’ve – ah, right there – Maker, that feels good. I’ve never been with anyone who is patient enough to let me come,” you manage to say through gritted teeth.

“My research indicated that it can take around 20 standard minutes for women to orgasm if properly relaxed, why would others stop prematurely?” Tech replies, only briefly removing his mouth from your cunt to reply.

“Selfishness?” you guess.

Tech seemed to take your admission (and ability to form sentences) personally, clearly intent on rendering you incapacitated. He returns to his attention to your clit and maintains his rhythm, teasing a third finger near your entrance. You whine at the sensation and move to hold Tech’s head in place, because if he stops now, there’s no way you’ll ever forgive him. The pressure that’s been mounting in your core finally, finally peaks and your entire body tenses as you surrender to your climax.

“Tech,” you whine, unable to formulate thoughts, let alone words.

He assures you with a soft groan and tightens his grip on your hip. He can feel your walls clenching around his fingers as he guides you through your climax.

As you come down from your orgasm, you feel like you’ve spent a year in bacta. You can’t move. Honestly, your bones are like Andorian jelly. The feeling is only temporary, however, as you’re overcome with the desire – no, need – to be filled.

“In me,” you urge. “Now.”

He adjusts his goggles and looks at you, spread out, completely ready for him.

“Lie back then.”

Tech settles between your thighs and nudges his cock head against your entrance. He takes a breath to steady himself, rubbing his length through your folds, covering it in your arousal.

“So wet and ready for me, mesh’la.”

Your hands wildly grasp at his chest plate, fingernails scratching along the plastoid, desperate to hold onto anything to anchor you. You meet his mouth with a graceless kiss, before he finally sinks into you.

“You’re tight,” he grits out.

He waits a few moments letting you adjust to his size before he begins to move. He restrains himself, slowly rolling his hips as your cunt stretches around his length.

“More,” you plead, breathlessly. “Please.”

Your encouragement is all he needs before he snaps his hips against yours, setting an unrelenting rhythm. He rocks into you harder with each thrust of his hips, his plastoid leg places slapping your skin.

“You feel so good, cyar'ika,” he pants. You surge upwards to greet his lips with a messy kiss, which only spurs him on to fuck you faster. “You’re, ah, taking me so well.”

“Fuck –,” you whine.

His grip tightens and his whole body starts to tense – he’s dangerously close to coming undone. And that’s when you notice his pace start to slow, his movements clearly distracted.

“Tech?” you mumble. You focus your eyes on his face and he looks dazed, you can practically hear him thinking. You’re about to ask him what’s wrong, but he doesn’t give you any time to panic.

“Elevate your hips by seven to ten degrees,” he states through heavy breaths.

“What?” Definitely not what you were expecting him to say.

Tech seems unfazed by your apparent annoyance. He wordlessly repositions himself, grabbing both of your hips and raising them slightly, holding your body up so it’s just the sharp incline of the console and Tech’s hands keeping you in place.

He began thrusting in earnest again, his eyes screwing shut in pleasure. And, Maker, he was right. The new angle hits a spot that makes your toes curl and you lose the ability to speak almost instantly and mewl helplessly as Tech fucks into you.

You made an undignified noise as you gripped his bicep, desperate to hold onto something, feeling the pressure mount in your core. With Tech’s hands busy holding you in place as he maintains a brutal pace, you bring a hand down to your clit, still wet with spit and your own essence. You barely have to touch yourself before you feel your body screaming for release.

“’M coming,” is all the warning you are able to give him before your cunt spasms around his twitching cock as your vision whites out. Tech grunts at the sensation, unable to hold his own climax off any longer.

“Where do you want me to –,” he grates out.

“Anywhere,” you cut him off, still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. “Just want to feel you.”

“Fuck, mesh’la, I’m going to come,” Tech groans, desperately chasing his release with harsh thrusts. His hips forcefully buck into you before his cock stiffens and he spills himself inside of you. He buries his face in your neck, slowly pumping you full of his cum, before he slumps against you. “Bid jate par me,” he mumbles into your neck, barely audible. “Gotal par me.”

You don’t know Mando’a, but whatever he is saying, the way he is saying it, sends a pleasant chill over your body.

You’re both still breathing heavily when Tech gingerly places you back down with a surprising gentleness for someone who had just been fucking you within an inch of your life. He’s in no rush to remove himself from you, but when his softened cock does slip out and his cum leaks out of you and onto the console, he helps you slide down. When your feet touch the floor, your legs wobble slightly and Tech has to grasp your forearms to steady you, softly chuckling at the state you’re in.

And when you look at him, he looks positively debauched. Sated, but debauched. You probably look worse.

In one swift motion he bends down, brings an arm down under your knees, and lifts you up. You wrap your arms around your neck while he carries you to his bunk. His cool armour against your overheated skin is a welcome sensation and you press yourself closer.

“Your research paid off,” you mumble into his chest as he sets you down on his bed.

“Please do not act so surprised by that.”

++++++++++++++++++++

You and Tech aren’t quite finished with the repairs by the time the Batch return hours later, long after the moons have risen and the bioluminescent plants surrounding the ship have begun to glow. If the squad notice you’re sitting a bit too close to Tech, your thigh pressing comfortably against his, they don’t say anything.

Neither of you were expecting to defile the Marauder all day and Tech was frantically fixing the lever on a storage hatch access panel, attempting to make up for lost time.

“Wrecker!” Echo shouts. “Clean up after yourself, for kriff’s sake.”

“Why?” Wrecker drawls, stomping towards the cockpit. “What did I do this time?”

“You’ve spilled your juice on the console again, all the keys are stuck in place.”

The access lever snaps clean off in Tech’s hands.