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bimbosupreme · 4 years ago

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mephistopheles love post

the equivalent of a mental breakdown tangent is all going under a read more

yes believe it or not that freaky ass literally not even human clown in fgo gets love, and love from who? me and like 3 other people

first off

ok and with that out of the way,

i’m not even familiar with their lore. Reason why i stopped caring about the lore behind faust and mephistopheles is that an interlude happens that shows that mephistopheles is just some homunculi made by some mage nobody named faust. and even then the interlude doesn’t talk about the lore behind the novel, its just you helping mephy kill faust

that being said though i would hope the developers expand on their origins more and potentially even release a “true” mephistopheles (a girl can dream)

So, they’re not even the real deal demon known as Mephistopheles in the first place, and i can hear u going “well that’s lame” and like, no, we just need to redirect our feelings from appreciating a demon to appreciating a homunculi who has a weird characterization in the fate universe

Design tangent:

Fgo was actually my first gacha, and so when I came across this servant I kinda instantly fell in love with their design, I love the colors used in their final ascension and overall appearance. The hat that has horns but they're not quite horns, theyre these weird colorful pointy twisty things, the large garish butterfly ornament on their chest (which isnt ugly at all and somehow works so well with their everything on them) is cool, the tights are so cool to look at, i mean look -- a checkered pattern with golden lining on the shorts portion, the tits out look like yes we get it youre insane, the gloves??? purple and also cool, plus theyve got this gradient thing going on? and the fingers have this line going through them, thats so cool. actually the only other servant that comes close to this in terms of “out there” colorful designs is probably final ascension kama and qsh ( i love them both). Also, mephy has this scissor weapon?? thats so cool lol i dont see any other servant wielding giant scissors (for the love of god give mephy an animation update i need to see them use the scissors while doing flips) and they also have this bomb obsession going on? cant relate, but the bombs designs are so so cool i mean its a fucking centipede -- no idea if centipedes are a thing in the original faust but thats something Ill have to look up at some point. ALSO mephy is wearing heels oh my god anytime people wear heels is an automatic win. No clue whats going on with the hair but its kinda cute (dont question me on that) and it has curls and the hair colors are cool i mean its like a lavender thing with darker purple highlights? i love colorful things and i love people with wacky personalities so. Oh my god their tail how could i forget that its so cute and dumb i almost forgot it was there, like what is that even a whip? i dont.. but its got these little purple tips to them that are kinda cute/cool but more cool because tails are fucking up there alongside heels in terms of cool stuff on characters. and of course their fluffly cape -- again no idea what the designers were going for i mean look its a mess of a design i have no fucking idea what any of it means and i hope they explain it someday because that hair and the butterfly and the tail and the hat and the fluffy garb and a bomb obsession?? and this got the go ahead - yeah lets add that to the game like what

ALSO LETS TALK ABOUT THEIR EYES

appreciate these with me for a second

god.

oh and the blue lipstick and face paint god thats a cool design ugh

they can be normal too or at least as normal as possible i mean they even trimmed their eyebrow here lol but you can see the not so well hidden insanity/goofiness peaking through with the inside of the suit at the bottom being highlighter purple and a green shirt with gold accents underneath the black coat at the front <3, fuckin hate that hairstyle tho bro we gotta get that middle part hairstyle outta hereeeee--

TAKE A DETOUR AND LOOK AT THIS LINK THOUGH THIS IS THE MOST NORMAL AND BEST IVE SEEN THEM IN FANART. THE POTENTIAL IS THERE. WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS AND THEY LOOK GREAT ITS POSSIBLE. I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE FROM THAT DRAWING.

anyways this is me going off all about why i like their design! but we haven’t even touched the nitty gritty of it all. their personality! what personality you may ask? havent they always been some weirdo laughing a lot and saying dumb shit all the time? well yes and no

Characterization:

True to their dumb little clown design mephy also acts like one.

Some servants bond 1 lines are like “fuck off” and some actually talk to you, nah this bastard mephistopheles’ just laughing. and for the second bond line it seems to imply theyre fuckin with you more (showing up and dissapearing and saying ‘afterimage’) so thats nice that theyre actually making some effort to mess with you in a way? some servants take a long time to actually interact with you so this shows theyre not afraid of interacting with you and thats just at bond 2. and of course the third bond line implies they were probably trying to betray you, its stated in more than 1 place that mephistopheles (actually isnt this a caster class thing?) will betray you or attempt to do so. So the third bond line seems to imply that their attempts have been stopped by you and that’s what they say after some failed attempts. So after stopping this freak from doing some shit their next bond line is actually doing a confession! a jester being honest who couldve seen that one coming but theyre 100% not lying, they really arent a demon but a homunculi made by faust

speaking of faust we’re going to backtrack a little into their interlude that i brought up at the start of this post, its one of those dream interludes and it starts with mephy asking you to help him plant bombs for their eventual reuinion/showdown with faust -- in the meantime faust keeps sending golems in an attempt to kill both you and mephy

When you track faust down, it’s shown that faust was your typical mage, inhumane and uncaring. It’s also pointed out that this faust killed innocents, but this typical mage behavior is boring to mephy, and they say that boring typical behavior is why they wanted to kill them

so i really cant blame mephistopheles for being the way they are, being raised by this type of guy, even if mephy was always messed up and wacky from the beginning its no reason for faust to attempt to kill him.

Mephistopheles also shows up in salem, cu alter’s interlude, and of course the knk crossover event, and some other things im most likely forgetting but those 3 are ones that i find notable

anytime they show up theyre actually helpful, in salem mephy points out that the nature of the being responsible for the salem epic of remnant is something alien rather than a typical foreign god, mephy also tells you that time is also being sped up and in their weird way they try to cheer you up by spouting some nonsense at the beginning (guda needed some kind of distraction from the grim events that had just transpired at that point in the story), i cant quite remember what mephy did in the knk event but they were a part of your group and were helpful the whole time, actually @/zeravmeta does an amazing analysis of their role in the knk event as well as some extra character analysis here

mephistopheles is kinda cryptic in a weird way though,

like overall i mean theyre a jester homunculi in appearance so yeah its to be expected but come on i love morally gray characters, despite their supposed betrayal hints scattered around here and there

they have this one line that always gets to me

and this line is said with a completely serious face too

the rare serious mephistopheles face! its kinda grim to see that line, no laughs, no nothing, their voice is kinda serious and monotone too. of course this could be just to get you to lower your guard but its still kinda out there that they have this rarely used portrait and that line, so i like to take it as being said to you when youre by yourself and with sincerity

and at least sei (with her wacky outfit and all lol) seems to get along with mephy and thinks theyre nice woohoo

so at the end of the day you have this guy that laughs a lot and gives mixed signals

and they fuck with you

and will most likely try to kill you more than once but hey thats just another tuesday at chaldea

Before I finish last thing I want to point out is this snippet from the fgo source material book which provides more information on servants, and this specific translated bit under mephistopheles

at the core of it all this homunculi....can be your friend! you just need to not go into despair i guess

of course this entire post is an overanalysis into an underwritten character, quarantine + all online college classes have done this to me, i have a douman icon what did you expect

OH...BEFORE I REALLY SIGN OFF AND FINISH THE POST HEY CLOWN LOVERS CHECK OUT THESE FANARTS AND FANARTISTS...

THE FIRST ONE IS HASENDOW YES THE DOUMAN DESIGNER... <3

i cant believe they drew mephy

twice !

and for those of you on twitter check out @cuz_pb and @L0VEYAMA003

#mephistopheles #fgo #i just go off on the various things i like about this clown #a whole lot lol #this started bc someone asked about my thoughts on mephistopheles well..

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okamirayne · 4 years ago

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Hey Rayne! I just finished rereading BtB (it's been years since i last looked at it!) and I loved it even more than when I first read it! You are an amazing storyteller and worldbuilder. I have two questions: 1) Would you ever consider writing SasuNaru in the BtB universe? (i havent reread the other three parts so forgive me if you did and I forgot LOL) and 2) how do you feel about other people writing within your canon (like with references to your work/universe)? have a great day!

Hey there, my lovely!

Firstly, thank you kindly for revisiting the series. I’m so happy you can still return to it and enjoy it. I truly appreciate your warm words and kind praise regarding my storytelling madness.

Thank you! <3 I sometimes wish I could go back and re-write the first instalment...but then I realise how dangerously masochistic that would be!

Onto your questions! ^_^

1) Would you ever consider writing SasuNaru in the BtB universe?

That’s all I’m gonna give away with that one. ;) I think it answers your question though...no? ;)

2) how do you feel about other people writing within your canon (like with references to your work/universe)?

XD Ha! Damn. Sorry, but I just had to get that psycho gif in there because I freaking love it. Seriously, though, I don’t mind this if the original source is respected and credited and for e.g. the most lovely @atardisbluenight-blog wrote a wonderful BtB inspired drabble over HERE which is a post-war scene <3. I’d be chuffed to know the BtB-verse inspired others. I think with short fics or drabbles etc. it would be easier to write within another fanfic writer’s world without messing up their verse-canon...god, my brain is spinning, it’s like meta-fanfiction here...

...but of course the BtB-verse and my inane head-canon is organically developing whenever I dive back into the BtB world (Heaven Hold Us, for example). In which case, it’s difficult for other writers to guess what ongoing head-canons I have for characters insofar as their development, arcs, preferences etc. It’s actually a pretty fascinating area and you’ve got me thinking deeper about it now...

As long as people are respecting the BtB-verse, having fun, and credit the original fic, I have no issue with this -- unless they go and do something nonsensically drastic like suddenly alter the personalities or events that have already been written in the BtB-verse...

...in which case, go write an original fanfic, you know? I don’t see the point. There’s some tough world-building and heavy character-shaping within BtB and it’d suck to see that messed with given how much blood, sweat and tears I put into it.

That’s my caveat for that kind of stuff, respecting the original fic author’s content/context, seeing as everyone is currently lucky enough to possess the freedom to alter the original source work by Kishimoto and go and create their own AUs (within the laws of copyright, disclaimers etc. I’m big on this.)

Thanks for this question, luv. This is actually a really fascinating “meta” area and I’d be curious to know if a lot of fanfic writers do this with fanfic series or one-shots etc. they’ve enjoyed? I was really touched by atardisbluenight-blog’s moving drabble and the way it blended in beautifully, so I’m in support of those kind of in-synch, hat-tip, and fist-bump fics. <3 Big love and respect to all fellow fic-writers who respect and support this.

Stay safe and well, sweetie. Thank you so much again for the amazing support for the BtB madness. <3

#btb ask #writing ask btb #btb series #okami rayne #okamirayne #btb ask naruto

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bannerswife · 6 years ago

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Nightmares - Bruce Banner x Reader

Title: Nightmares

Pairing: Bruce Banner x Reader

Word Count: 2139

Warnings: None

Summary: After Bruce has a horrible nightmare, you try your best to calm him down before he hulks out.

Authors Note: This is one of my older works, so im so sorry at how bad it is eek. also i havent been posting that frequently ik im a horrible person whoops

You awoke to the heart wrenching screams of your boyfriend. Quickly you scrambled to the lamp switch, turning it on giving the room some sort of light. You jumped to Bruce’s side of the king bed and went to hold him in your arms. From what you could tell Bruce was having another nightmare, it wasn't anything new to you, it happened nearly every week, but recently it became a nightly routine. Not that you cared, you would never sleep if that meant you could hold Bruce in your arms to calm him back to restful sleep.

It always happened at around 2:30am, every single night (well morning), and that was when you started your day. You could never ever go back to sleep after witnessing Bruce’s meltdown, it hurt you so much it normally would cause yourself nightmares of something to do with Bruce, normally of him running away because he couldn’t bare the pain of losing you if he lost control.

You were never ever scared of the Other Guy, he was apart of Bruce and you loved every single part of him, even if half of him consisted of a huge green rage monster. You didn't care one single bit, you loved him unconditionally just for who he was. Green and all.

After the Chitauri attack on New York, Bruce’s nightmares were so much worse, and from the little information you got from Bruce when he briefly tells you about them they’re becoming a lot more vivid.

You didn't know how exactly to help the poor physicist. You couldn't really do a lot but calm him as best as you could and tell him that you love him and that you’re there for him. Thankfully it never ended with him going to the Safe Room because he never got too far to the point of changing.

But out of all of his daily nightmares this was much worse. You could tell already.

Bruce was flinging his arms about, a pool of sweat all over him, his head, neck, chest, everywhere. You wrapped your arms tightly around Bruce’s arm, squeezing it, and softly but loud enough you told him what you would always tell him.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, shhh, you’re okay, i’m here, you’re alright. No one’s going to hurt you here Bruce,”

That was what you normally told him every night but you weren't even halfway through your sentence before Bruce shot upwards his eyes a bright rich green. Frantically he looked around the room, expecting some sort of danger that came from his dream. Though there wasn't anything and so his breathing slowed a little bit and his shoulders becoming less tense. Until it didn't. He looked over to you where your faced with worry, his heart becoming even more heavy (if it was even possible for him) as he was of course the cause of your stress and worry.

“Oh my god, y/n. I-i’m so sorry. Oh my fucking god, i could’ve- i could’ve-” He rambled, hardy able to form a structured sentence. His breathing quickened once again and his eyes widened as he looked upon you.

“No, no, no, Bruce i’m fine. Don’t worry about me, i’m fine, babe, please listen to me,” But you knew Bruce was only spiralling even more from here. His mind was already worked up from his dream and now he’s only digging himself a bigger hole.

“I can’t be here- i dont know if i can control it any longer, please. I need to- i need to go to the safe room,” He choked, trying his best to hold back the tears as he pulled tightly into himself. The previous events of his dream playing in his mind and what could’ve happened if he lost control with you so close.

It wasn’t unusual for Bruce to have his panic attacks, you always could calm him down, as well as his nightmares, but combining the two together would be a piece of work. You didn't know if you could.

“JARVIS, alert someone that Bruce is having a panic attack. I might need some help on this to calm him down. I’m just taking him to the Safe Room now,” You anxiously asked, as you slowly crawled over to Bruce who was currently hugging himself.

“Of course, y/n, right away” The smooth programs voice replied, alerting the fellow avengers for help.

“Okay, i’m going to help you up, yeah? Get you to your other room,” You got up and gingerly went to Bruce’s aid to help him onto his feet, he was wobbly at first but held himself up without your help.

In a second Bruce sped out of the room, one hand held on his head and the other helping him hold up right, you could barely keep up with the man as he sped to the elevator. Honestly you didn't know what you could do to help your boyfriend.

As the two of you made it down to the floor of the Safe Room, all of the avengers were sleepily (except Natasha who seemed to already be awake) waiting for the presence of the two of you.

“Hey big guy, is every-” The engineer asked groggily, sleep still sounding evident in his voice as he went to rest his hand on his friends shoulder, but before he could finish his sentence Bruce snapped, his brown eyes long lost to his alter ego’s green eyes.

“Stay back!” He yelled pushing Tony off of him, thankfully not too forcefully otherwise he would have flown straight through the glass window.

Bruce’s eyes softened and quickly returned back to his normal coloured chocolate eyes and his eyes welled with tears again, his hands returning to his head.

“I-I’m so sorry, but please- please just stay back, i don't want to hurt any of you,” he softly said, as he made his way to the room. The avengers keeping a good distance from the man hoping to not distress him.

You slowly walked alongside bruce, you too keeping somewhat a good distance, though as soon as you reached the room bruce instantly slammed the door in front of you. It hurt him to ever do that to you, knowing all that you were trying to do was help him, but he couldn't at all risk your safety.

He looked at you through the glass window of his room, your eyes glistening with tears. God you hated seeing him there, he wasn’t just some animal that had to be caged. It was ridiculous.

Bruce slowly took himself to the corner of the room and slid down the wall. He hugged his knees and rested his head upon them, and wrapped his arms tightly around him.

You could tell he was shaking, and mumbling things to himself to try and keep his temper down but it didn’t seem to be doing anything helpful anyway.

You held your hand up to the glass, a tear slipping from your eyes as you watched your boyfriend.

“Y/n, I think you should get some rest-“ Steve started as he spoke from behind.

“I’m not leaving him, I’m staying here until he comes out,” you muttered, keeping your eyes on Bruce.

“Cmon, I’m sure Bruce wouldn’t want you staying up all night just for him-“ Tony said, holding your shoulders to guide you back to your empty room - - without Bruce.

Bruce from inside the cage couldn’t hear anything but with his mind currently filled up with rage and anger he wasn’t exactly thinking straight but he could tell that you were distressed and Steve and Tony weren’t exactly helping you.

“NO! For fucks sake I’m not leaving him! Just piss off and leave us alone, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have bothered you all!” You pushed at Steve and Tony chests to get them both away and towards the exit.

And Bruce was up on his feet in a second, the other guy almost ripping through to try and protect you from any threat. In the back of his mind (that was all too blurry to even comprehend for Bruce) he knew that his friends were only just trying to help, most likely get you back to your room for some sleep. But The Other Guy didn’t see it that way, all that Bruce could grasp at the moment was that you were being hurt by these men and Bruce needed to help. The Hulk needed to smash.

Bruce walked up to the glass, swearing at the current men in front of you, which none of you could hear as the glass was so thick it was soundproof.

With a sudden touch of Steve when he went to try and calm you down, as tears poured down your face, the hulk was released. Bruce held tightly at his head, pulling at his hair, but it was all too much. The hulk was too strong at this moment and he couldn't stop him. And so you, Tony and Steve were stopped mid sentence when you could easily hear the deafening roar of the monster.

“Bruce,” You murmured, as you looked upon the beast.

You walked slowly to the glass and held your hand up to it, the hulk tilting his head confused, seconds ago he could of sworn you were in danger and now what was happening? You seemed pretty okay, aside from the little tears he could just see in your eyes. You then walked to the door of the safe room where you went to open it.

“Do you think that is such a wise move, Lady y/n?” You heard the voice of the god of thunder echo through the room.

You only smiled before looking up, noticing that everyone still had stayed in the room for Bruce, and nodded your head.

“He would never hurt me, he loves me, the only reason he transformed was because he thought i was getting hurt when Steve and Tony were trying to take me out, So i just need him to know i’m alright,” And with that you walked calmly into the big room.

You smiled at the beast among you, he looked down at you intently checking for any signs of injury, but thankfully he found none.

“Why y/n sad?” Hulk finally said as he took a seat in front of you, crossing his legs together. As if a child sitting in front of their teacher, waiting to be told a story.

You chuckled softly wiping the tears away and sat in front of hulk.

“I was worried about Bruce, he had a nightmare and wasn’t coping too well,” You simply explained to the big goliath in front of you.

Silence washed over the two of you and it was nice. Even Hulk could have agreed, he had never gotten the chance to just sit calmly and not have to worry about anything in the world.

“Hulk? Can you promise me something?” You interrupted the silence, hulk grunted and softly nodded his head in response.

“Will you look after Bruce for me? I’m not as special or strong as you are, i try my best to but with your help we can keep Bruce safe. Do you think you can do that, Big Guy? For me?” You leaned out and held the Hulk’s giant size hand in yours and looked into his bright green eyes.

Again the Hulk nodded in response, understanding fully what he had been requested to do.

You got up and wrapped your arms around the large beast and rested your head against his warm chest. Hulk not really knowing what to do with this small human on him just softly put his hand on your back and held you close.

Before you knew it the man in your arms was shrinking back to normal size and you couldn’t help but softly smile.

“Y/n? W-what are you doing?”

“Shh, Bruce i was enjoying the moment. Really you’re a good hugger-- and warm,” You giggled digging more into Bruce’s bare chest.

“Please don’t tell me you came in here and hugged the other guy?”

“That Bruce, is exactly what I did. Plus we spoke about… things,” you smiled.

Bruce sighed pushing you softly from his chest holding your arms.

“You do realise I could’ve killed you? If that happened I-“

“Bruce, I know you’re worried about hurting me but trust me when I say, I can handle myself. The Hulk is honestly the last person that would hurt me,” you replied hoping to finally get that through to him.

Bruce didn’t say anything else but just looked deeply into your e/c eyes, trying to search for something, you wouldn’t know. He softly hummed, a small smile setting on his face before enveloping you in his warm arms once again.

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theobjectashley · 3 years ago

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Hello !

Interesting update. Today I was talking to my Mum about Uni. I started talking about The Object and my explorations with Sylko. I mentioned that I had opened the sewing box, and that its contents lacked only a roll of string to be a complete sewing kit.

She told me, the only thing she took out of the box before I took it, were rolls of cotton which are sitting in her sewing box now.

- Note this is starting to get really personal. But I feel like its something that will help me, by continuing to write. My object has lead me here. I just wonder why.

Now I don't know how to explain this, but it is such an odd full circle moment. The first memory this object triggered for me, was those of my Mum. Memories of us sewing together, as well as memories of her Mum. We would sew using my late grandmothers sewing machine, as well as using her old cotton. I used to sew all my own toys. My favourite was an orange cat named Charlie. Named after our own orange cat named Charlie of course. I used to have so much fun sewing with my mum. I just loved to create something from nothing. Those memory's with my mum are so special to me. I remember having so much respect and admiration for my Mums sewing skills. She was a wizard on the sewing machine. And she still is! She is constantly helping me alter my clothes. She's assisted me through many failed DIY projects. I guess sewing really connected us in those moments. Ive been feeling really disconnected from my Mum. Its something that ive been struggling with for a few years.

We have had a bizarre relationship. As a little dude, I was attached at her hip. I constantly needed her affection. Around age 9, I stopped all my affection towards my parents. I stopped hugging them, I never said I love you, and most commonly I called them by there first names. I dont know why and how this happened. But it did. We were distant for years. At some points I remember it getting better. But when I turned 16 we became very close again. This was due to my mental health problems collapsing beyond me being able to keep secret anymore. My boyfriend at the time called my Mum and told her about my suicide attempt the previous night. This call resulted in a horrendous ordeal, which I would label as the worst night of my entire life.

After this event, my mum became aware of my past 4 years of mental health struggles. Now you may wonder how a parent doesn't notice this. My older brother Max, was suffering horrendously with depression. It was terrible. He ended up spending a long time in institutionalised care. He was barely holding on, so my parents were completely focused on keeping him alive. With this I was able to completely deteriorate unseen to anyone.

This allowed me to really open up to my mum, and made me see how much she truly loved me. We had a really great relationship for a couple years following this. She was my best friend and it was so much fun.

For the past year my depression has been really bad. Its something ive struggled with for 6 years now, but with getting older I only now can recognise the difference between myself. It takes over all my relationships, and how I interact with people. Most especially my family. I find it really hard to connect with anyone when Im in such a state, and Its the hardest with my Mum and Dad. With this I havent been able to connect with my Mum in a long time. You know when you having a conversation with someone and you can just feel tension. Its like that I guess.

I feel so much guilt for this. My mum loves me more than anything in the world. She lost her mum when she was 8. I can tell it has affected her a lot. But she never speaks of it. Only when we were sewing. Thats why she loves me and my brother so much, she takes so much joy in being a mum. I think because she never had her own.

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corvidprompts · 8 years ago

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Dissociation

Dissociation. Okya. We got this.

This one came first because I thought it would be short. Help

Disclaimer: Not a psychologist. Never had the opportunity to see one, so I’ve never been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder of any kind (though it’s extremely likely I experience it) (thanks brain)

Dissociation is what happens when the brain decides that Reality Is No Good So ????

There’s a few types of dissociation, and this article is Really Good for a science explanation. I’ve used it a few times to figure stuff out/

thanks brain.

This is not a post on dissociative identity disorder- it’s a lot more general. Dissociative identity disorder is a very specific mental illness that i am probably not qualified to write too much about.

For those of you who torture your characters, or have had your characters suffer traumatic events, you may want to look into dissociation. I’ve always believed that Harry Potter should/ probably does experience some kind of dissociation, for example.

THERE ARE A FEW MAIN TYPES

Dissociation is the Scientific Term for any experience involving the disconnect between the self and reality. The specific kinds of dissociation are as follows

DEPERSONALIZATION

Depersonalization is when the disconnect from self/reality occurs between person and body. It’s essentially a feeling that you may be ‘floating’ or out of your body. This also includes experiences of plain old feeling ‘wrong’, as though you’re too big or too small in your skin, or looking in the mirror and not recognizing your face. Some good descriptions I’ve seen are ‘existing, but a little to the left’, ‘i can’t see my feet, therefore they Do Not Exist’, and ‘im staring at the back of my head’.

From an outsider perspective, I doubt much would seem very wrong as it’s easy to cover that shit up yo, though the character may interact oddly with mirrors and photos of themself

I experience depersonalization (probably) and am available for questions

DEREALIZATION

Derealization is when the disconnect happens between person/reality. This means that between the ‘person’ the ‘body’ or the ‘reality’, only one feels real at that moment in time. This means the person may feel like they are moving through jello- everything seems slow and hard to understand, noises may be Too Loud, a person may be Suddenly Aware that there has been a shift in how they are perceiving things, but will not be able to tell if they’ve exited or entered a dissociative episode. Some good descriptions I’ve seen include “i am hearing everything that is happening but i am not processing any of it’ ‘everything has become 2-d” “i have Spider Senses and the brain of jellyfish help me” and “*toothbrush noises*”

People experiencing derealization would seem ‘out of it’ or unfocused from an outsiders perspective

I experience derealization (probably) and am available for questions

DISSOCIATIVE AMNESIA

This on is So Much Fun (kill me)

Basically, there’s 2 types. There’s Dissociative Fugue and low key fuckery which i dont think has a special name.

Dissociative fugue is probably something you write a whole story centered around, not just a bullet point in a character sheet. Basically, Dissociative fugue is when the brain goes ???? forgot everything. Made some shit up. A person loses all the memories of the past life, can sometimes travel great distances, and just set up shop with a new life in a new place with new memories. This new persona can last for months until the brain reboots and loads all the ‘previous life’ memories.

Low key fuckery, on the other hand, is when your brain goes ???? in general. Experiences include ‘you havent’ finished speaking your sentence, but i’ve forgotten what it is’ ‘is this a memory of a dream?’ and the extra fun experience of ‘i’m on public transit and remember Nothing of how i got here have i missed my stop yet when did i get on’

Characters who struggle with dissociative amnesia will robably frequently repeat information, ask if they’ve already said something, miss social cues like asking how someone is (because they think they have already and dont want to ask again), forget to eat, mess up on dates, ect ect.

I, of course, experience this (probably) an am available for questions

IDENTITY CONFUSION/ ALTERATION

I was gonna write a thing about this but honestly the paragraph from the article does a gr9 job so here

Identity confusion is a sense of confusion about who a person is. An example of identity confusion is when a person sometimes feels a thrill while engaged in an activity (e.g., reckless driving, drug use) which at other times would be repugnant. Identity alteration is the sense of being markedly different from another part of oneself. This can be unnerving to clinicians. A person may shift into an alternate personality, become confused, and demand of the clinician, “Who the dickens are you, and what am I doing here?” In addition to these observable changes, the person may experience distortions in time, place, and situation. For example, in the course of an initial discovery of the experience of identity alteration, a person might incorrectly believe they were five years old, in their childhood home and not the therapist’s office, and expecting a deceased person whom they fear to appear at any moment

I don’t think I actually experience this holla

Every character is gonna have different triggers directly related to their dissociation. They’re likely going to be related to emotions and stress, such as times where your character is having emotionally vulnerable conversations, or is performing heavy emotional labour. I have two big ones. One is those ‘awareness’ exercises, like trying to regulate your breathing, and the second is things like ‘Do you ever think about the fact that your older self is watching you through memories?”

Anyway, upon writing this I’ve come to the conclusion I probably need to see a psychologist lmao

#crow content #technical prompts #writing prompts #im not going to tho because im a Piece Of Shit

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mobianstrip · 6 years ago

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sonic forces me to analyze the game

this is by no means a full, in depth review of sonic forces. however, since im working on a Forces au i think its only fitting to talk about my personal gripes with the game. just to be clear, i dont hate sonic forces by any means! there are some really neat concepts about it that i enjoy, which ill include my thoughts on as well! though with that said, theres a lot about it that could have been dealt with better. this post is gonna be a bit long and messy, sorry!

now i cant speak for what the gameplay controls itself are like since i havent actually played it with my own hands, so my primary focus will be the story and general format of the game. everything under the cut!

ill start by saying that in hindsight, i think the general premise of the game is actually really neat (had the war framing of the plot not been so overly glorified and bland. more on that below). eggman taking over most of the world is very reminiscent to the initial circumstance of mobius in the early archie sonic publication. it seems especially reflective of the comic in the fact that sonic forces takes place on a planet setting more akin to that of Mobius than that of Sonic’s World/Earth, the difference being the lack of human beings aside from Eggman. while this does somewhat bother me for the fact that it paints an inconsistency with the setting, im also all for the planet being strictly Mobians + Eggman again tbh. the concept of sonic being on earth populated by humans, complete with a mock version of the united states, never really settled well with me. it always felt like just a means to make sonic more relatable, which is true, but not done because it made anything more interesting. a problem that then arises is that the origins of shadow and silver/blaze would be radically different or at least would need some retcon alterations to make sense...but thats a topic for another day

overall, looking past the inconsistency with the setting and its implications, i enjoy how the premise of the game feels like going back to the basics. but even the premise still has its problems...which is never a good sign, and this point practically sealed forces’s fate of inconsistency: the theme of war and how it frames the story is so, so poorly written

starting with whats presented at the beginning of the game, sonic is captured by eggman as a prisoner. if the writing had just left it at that, fine. however, the exposition goes on to say that sonic has been there for six months being tortured...and that tails has completely lost it. again id be fine with this - the theme of war is a darker one so these two events would make sense in this circumstance. however, that tension is just totally lost in a matter of a few episodes. you rescue sonic who is just as cheery and jokey as ever, somehow able to fight a boss despite being supposedly locked away and tortured for six months

of course i understand that its not like they could give sonic ptsd and make him look tortured and weak and so on - but why even mention the torture thing at all? the same problem is apparent with the first cutscene with tails. tails is hardly given enough time to seem like he has "lost it". i will say though that tails WAS given a bit more of an emotional response to work with than sonic overall. particularly when tails is about to be attacked by chaos, and he ducks his head in fear and calls for sonic to help him even though sonic isnt there - i actually enjoyed this small segment bc it does reflect some of what was said about how he reacted to sonics capture (aside from also being across the planet...for seemingly no reason except bc he "lost it" and to get him away from the main group so that classic sonic can appear)

frankly speaking from these two points alone, the games tone just feels kind of confused. its obvious the writers wanted some parts of the darker theme of war...and its also obvious that going all out wasnt gonna be an option bc of the nature of sonic as a character and franchise being about more lighthearted, easier to relate to stories about sonics heroism. which im fine with that being the case; sonic is a hero and more importantly a mascot that profits off of kids being able to relate and look up to. my issue is simply that the premise of this game makes consistent writing kind of doomed from the start if the writers are trying to appeal to both the kids AND older fans. they cant go to the lengths necessary to adequately build the narrative. cant go too dark, cant go too lighthearted, and not finding a balance between to two gives you a confused and bland story

on that note, i personally find the theme of war to be...uncomfortably glorified and unchecked (adding to the tone confusion and blandness). sonic forces is named so because...yknow. armed forces. armies. the whole point of the game is that theres a war going on and youre on the good guy side. i mean its not as if youre fighting against other living creatures, just infinite and eggmans robots, but still. i think what put me off the most is the first comic with the soldier cat. after they save the day, the last lines are "I'll do better. I'll be better. I'll become a real soldier and a real hero." now slap that as the tagline to a united states army corps commercial and suddenly its really...sour tasting

war is just one of those subjects that i think needs to be handled with a bit more care. i mean think about it: the primary gimmick of forces is that you get to make your own character, to be the sonic version of yourself in this world. the plot of the game is that theres a war, and your character joins the resistance to defeat eggman. this game is pretty blatantly glorifying the idea that joining in on a war can make you a REAL soldier, a REAL hero. to some kids, that might sound pretty cool. but theres no nuance to it whatsoever, nothing thought provoking on the subject. no one steps back to be like ‘its good to do good things but wars are tough and not fun, and being a hero isnt everything’. none-a that

now do i think a sonic game could get it into a childs head that they should join the army for real? no, not necessarily. i think its possible, but i think that would also be due to a larger issue of military glorification present in modern culture in general (especially in america). mostly i just find the implications at play with glorifying the theme of war in conjunction to the avatar gimmick to be in poor taste and also entirely avoidable because...

i dont think the war and army framing even had to be a thing. not only is it just so sloppily done in general, with that fact that the supposed soldier forces on the Resistance side are literally never seen on screen except for some dialogue boxes in one episode and the rest of the time only being mentioned through other characters, but i seriously think never saying the words “war” or “army” and not including literal soldiers would have worked just as well and even been the better route. they could have just been like yeah heres eggman taking over the world, heres the resistance fighters that have come together to stop him, they are opposing forces and you play as your avatar to stop eggman - and just leave it at that. it wouldve made the glorification of war less obvious and the handling of the topics at hand appear less confused, appealing to a more lighthearted tone rather than weighing it down with frankly out of place hints to a darker subject of war

finally i wanna talk about the story as it relates to how its told through the game. the plot itself is fairly standard - eggman starts war, captures sonic, takes over planet. you rescue sonic, and together you fight eggman and infinite and ultimately defeat them. thats all good and well even if its cheesy sometimes. the REAL problem is how its executed. a lot of the exposition is given not through cutscenes, but through spoken dialogue with text box subtitles over the episode select screen. and it just feels so...stiff. it doesnt feel like world building, it just feels like being forcefed information with no substance behind it

i get that fully rendered cutscenes throughout can be expensive and time consuming, but shoot id take in-game rendered cut scenes at least. (like in sa, sa2, shadow 2005...) anything that could have provided the world building with a bit more ground to stand on would have been great. sure, there are levels to traverse which look cool...but they dont provide any sense of scale, they dont tell us what the area is like, and more importantly, you never see the other characters who are supposedly on the battlefield "alongside" you in a couple episodes. the storyline from the exposition along sounds like it could be an epic journey - but the way its told with the given game mechanics (i.e.: stage-based gameplay with no open worlds to explore) leaves a lot to be desired

i feel like the stuff explained in the comics should have just been cutscenes or exposition or something to pad out the game a bit. the comics are so short anyways so why just put it in the game? maybe not the first comic about the rando soldier saving the day or w/e...but the comic with silver and knuckles fighting chaos? the comic about infinites origins? all of that could have easily been included. at LEAST the comic with shadow was part of the DLC...but even thats just so gimmicky. they provide important background to the main plot of this game so i really dont understand why it was sidelined to comics and not just included from the beginning

the tension that the exposition already fails to build up is brought down even worse when coupled with the confusing timing of the stage complete screens, where you get your completion rank and see what new character creation items you unlocked. listen, i know immediate gratification for completing the level is important and all...but i swear, having these screens between the end of a boss fight and the cutscene showing what happens to them after being defeated seriously impairs the flow of the game. maybe having it there allows for the cutscene to load up in the background to improve efficiency, but personally id prefer seeing a loading screen as the break between a boss fight and the following cutscene after it and THEN the stage complete screen to finish the sequence off. the boss fight end cutscenes arent that long anyways for the most part, so its just nonsensical to have the stage complete screen interrupt the action when theres only a two minute scene left to it

i cant stand how streamlined forces is to the point of the main plot. what happened to games that actually take the time to explain stuff, show us extra bits to the story and how they connect? and even when forces' does explain SOME stuff, its through audio/text only dialogue. nothing visually interesting, just...dialogue. and then its off to the next level. forces' feels very bare bones honestly. the story is supposed to feel big and epic but it just wasnt given enough to bring that feeling into fruition. this is probably the only thing that saves forces’ from the war glorification issue because the game simply fails so miserably at telling a compelling story due to poor writing and poor formatting that the war stuff gets lost in the mix - and thats just sad

all of this brings me to my conclusion. fuck i wish sonic forces was a better written and executed game, because i do think it could have been so cool. i really like infinite as a villain, in both his design and personality. yeah hes kind of a whiny, edgy bitch - but he had potential. and its really gonna suck if this game killed off all that potential in one fell swoop

(then again, thats why we have fan content and aus :3)

#text

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stopsubstanceabuse1-blog · 6 years ago

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kawaiifunhologram-blog · 7 years ago

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Getting a new car today but still have the old one. I'm waiting for it to be collected by a car scrap collection company which could be up a few days. I want to swap my insurance from my old car to my new. My old car would still be taxed and mot but then will have no insurance. Is that legal? Just to keep it parked up for a few days without insurance?

""My car insurance, can i still pay monthly?!?! HELP!?""

my car insurance got cancelled because I missed two payments but, I always gave it to them on the same day I missed it. Anyways, I cannot afford to pay the full amount up front! its $2000! I need to pay month to month! does anyone know a car insurance company that will do this for me? I live in Canada so I need a reference for here.""

""Life Insurance, Add to or buy another policy?

I bought 50K worth of life insurance when I was in my 20's. Now I'm 45 and thinking I need another 50K more. Would i be better off to buy another policy and keep this one. Or should I cash this one in and buy one 100K whole life policy? The policy is currently whole life and there is about 7K in there.

""Car insurance, 17 year old.?""

in the state of NJ, do you know around how much car insurance for a 17 year old would cost monthly? or if you know of any other state? i just want a rough estimate. thank you""

Is their insurance for pregnant women?

Hi, I am about 30 weeks pregnant and very scared. I do not have ins at this time. I had a ppo a few months ago that did not cover anything! My bf (ridiculous we were not married) of 11 years just walked out on me and the kids for his selfish reasons. So he is no help besides paying the mortgage. Im not trying to get free insurance, I just need some help on what affordable insurance there are if any that will pick me up. I pay for my visits but im running low on cash. I am on bed rest for incompetent cervix and I am losing it trying to figure ways. I return to work 6 weeks after I have the little one but for now I have no job! Im at lost. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I can pay monthly's but I know that delivery bill is gonna kick me in the butt. I just want to have a little security...""

How to get insurance to buy a car?

Im about to be 18, and have some saved money to buy a new, cheap car to get me to school/work, but Im a little confused. Ive never done this before and have to all alone now. I know I need insurance on the car to buy it legally, but I'm not sure how to get car insurance coverage first. Do I call my preferred future insurance provider and tell them I need insurance proof for a car Im about to buy? Im not really sure what to do, anybody understand that can help?""

Cheap car insurance for 20 year old?

im new to this im 20 getting my license in ont canada and need insurance i am very cheap will be buying a car 500-700$ and want the cheapest insurance possable il fix my own car if its possible i just want to be legal cause insurance is ridiculous ty everyone

What is a fast but cheap to insure car?

Im 24, 6 years no claims bonus with 6 years driving and no fault crashes (only people have crashed into me) i have 7000 to spend on a car what is the fastest car i could get with the cheapest insurance? (i have extra money to spend on insurance seperately)""

Galo Auto & Home Insurance.com?

need to find a cheaper auto & home insurance before july 09 State Farm is droping home ins.? can you please hellp me?

Do I need rental car insurance?

I'm going to be renting/leasing a car from Avis for around 6 months while traveling for work. Will my current auto insurance be enough or should I take out a separate policy on the rental car itself? I really can't afford to take the insurance from Avis so I'm trying to find the next best option that will keep me well protected on the road.

Cheapest place to insure a peugeot 106 1.1 or a peugeot 106 quiksilver?

Im getting pissed off with the prices of inurance for my car the cheapest i can get it is 3200 fully comp (third party is more money for some reason?!?) and ive tryed all these compare websites and they are utter bollocks i might aswell not have passed my bastard driving test with these prices, i may have to wait another year for my insurance to go down. Btw im 19 year old and have been passed 4 month, can anyone help me im sick of ******* looking at insurance websites, thanks""

Why are so many Americans losing their health insurance plans due to the Affordable Health Care Act/Obamacare?

Is there serious corruption in the health insurance industry? Would that have something to do with it? Why would so many health care professionals like doctors and dentists have problems with the Affordable Health Care Act/Obamacare? By the way, I'm keeping my employer based plan.They're not changing it, and, it's through my union.No one else in my store is changing theirs,either.""

""On average, how much would motorcycle insurance be for a 16 year old?""

I am 16, i will be 17 when i get my bike. Im pretty sure it is going to be a Kawasaki Ninja 250. Could anyone tell me about how much it would be to insure it. I live in Pennsylvania.""

Do I automatically have to get car insurance right after I get my license?

I'm 18, I live with my parents...In order for me to get my license my mom wants me to pay for car insurance (since I'll be under her name) which is understandable, but I don't have a car yet, and I just want my license in case of an emergency...like I won't even be driving around her car rarely. She told me that even if I wanted to get my license and not get car insurance yet, I can't because I live in her house?? Does that sound right? Can't I just get my license without car insurance until I actually have my own car?""

Is there a penalty for not signing up for affordable health care if disabled collecting medicare?

Now my question is am I going to be penalized for not having any insurance and only having Medicare I and my husband are on disability, because of brain tumors and seizures? it ...show more""

Will a window Tint ticket effect my insurance rate? Also how much is a window tint ticket in California?

If i get a ticket for window tint will my insurance rate increase? Also how much are the window tint tickets? I am aware that some officers give you a fix it ticket but if they dont how much money is the ticket? I am located in California and just want to check this out before I get my windows tinted.

What Is The Best Insurance Agency?

Like any insurance agency. Such as Progressive, State Farm, Geico, or anything that you think saves the most of your cash.""

Why do Women get cheaper car insurance?

Thats the biggest joke going! they are safer my ar*e

Is this a good world to bring a child into?

I sometimes worry about having kids due to the world going down hill, theres so many bullies and bad people out there,i dont think I can handle my children getting hurt by someone or bullied,also how much will car insurance be in 18 years, a 19 year old at work keeps getting 5000 quotes for 1.1 cars,id like some opinions on this as me and my wife are planning to have kids soon,am I worrying about nothing or does anyone else feel like this?,i want my kids to have a nice life.""

Why is health insurance so high?

I live in Idaho, I'm a college student, work part time and my wife works full time. We bring home about 1900 a month. Rent is 540, my car + insurance costs 150, gas is about 175 (my wife commutes to work) and groceries are about 300 every month, phone + internet + electric is 175. I have to have medical insurance while I goto school except it costs $250 a month. HOLY CRAP it's alot, and I still have to save for tuition, we usually only have 200-300 a month left over. Why is health insurance so high and what can I do to get it lower?""

Classic Car As A Daily Driver In Michigan?

I'm a hot rod & kustom guy, have building and restoring old cars for awhile now..love the looks of em and the feeling I get driving them, I'm opening up my own shop soon too. I drive a 2001 Grand Am GT and it's about to die 190,000 miles needs tires, brakes, bearings, engines making noises but for the price I paid and miles I put on it, it worked well. Now I need a new daily drive to school 72 miles round trip 2-3 times a week. I live in Michigan, was wondering what it would be like to drive an classic car as a daily...say a 1958 Chevy Bel Air with a 283 motor...the insurance is cheaper, easier to fix and find parts..but may be more in gas...just wondering if anyone drives a classic everyday and how is it in the winter...I'd have to figure out heat some how. I have many cars 1968 Caddy Deville on air bags, 1930 Model A Coupe hot rod, 1951 Mercury custom, 1956 Cadillac Deville...etc""

What is the best life insurance for someone in their early twenties?

I want to ensure my mom & husband will have some money if I were to die early in life.

Is driving a motorcyle dangerous? and will it raise my insurance prices?

is a motorcycle more dangerous than a car what are the pros and cons. i am considering it for the good gas millage i am 18 yrs old (clean record) -- will it increase my insurance costs

""If i get married, but husband doesnt drive, do i have to add him to my motorcycle insurance?""

i got married very recently. my husband does not drive. he doesn't have a drivers license and never has. i got a quote for updating my status to married on my motorcycle insurance and my rate skyrocketed, so i didn't update my policy (my name is didnt change so i dont have to update that either). so my question is, is it ok for me not to update my policy? i just don't feel that if he is never ever anywhere near my vehicle that it should affect my rates. i would love if actual insurance agents could share their insight""

Why are my car insurance rates so high?

To start, my girlfriend is insured completely separate from me and in no way affects my policy. My girlfriend was recently in a car accident. This is her second at-fault accident in a 2 year period. Her car was totaled in the accident and she was trying to get quotes for insurnace on a new vehicle she will be financing. She has been getting quotes around $270/mo and below with the history I stated above. She did have one company give her a quote of $170/mo, then State Farm said they could forgive her first accident and she would have to pay around $136/mo I have never been in an accident, I have never received any type of ticket, I have nothing on my record. Getting a quote on the exact same car (2004 Toyota Rav4), just in my name and with the financing in my name, my quotes average $300. This is insane. My car is currently going through my parents insurance so I only pay $40.00/mo to them and it's all good, but I decided to get some quotes on my car just to see how much it would be... The car is a 1994 Toyota Corolla, 4DR sedan. I am 19 years old, will be 20 very soon. Like I said, I have a CLEAN driving history. My quotes on this car are as follows for liability coverage: Allstate: $113/mo Progressive: $162/mo State Farm: $262/mo Now, to me, this is insane. My girlfriend's insurance was about $50.00/mo on her Dodge Stratus. She wrecked it. The insurance on her new car, which was only liability again, was just $60.00/mo. Now she is getting the $135 to $170/mo quote for full coverage on this Toyota Rav4. If anyone can help me understand how she can get cheaper FULL COVERAGE insurance with her driving history than I can get of LIABILITY insurance with my history, please do. This makes no sense to me at all.""

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Nicotine/cotinine test for life insurance?

I haven't smoke for 5 weeks. In about 2 weeks I might have to take a nicotine/cotinine test to get life insurance. Will I be able to pass the test for life insurance.

Where do i apply for free state insurance in the state of Georgia?

i dont have health insurance and cant afford insurance

""I am going to study in Ontario but I am a US citizen, how much is it to register my car and get car insurance?""

I live in Texas and i'm an 18 yr old female. I will be studying in Canada but I need to take my car to get from place to place. Does anyone know how much it costs to register the car, get car insurance, plates, License and whatever else needed? Thank you (:""

""How to go about getting a motorcycle, license and insurance...?""

i am from kansas and am going to get a motorcycle. can i get a permit? do i get a motorcycle first, then a license? how can i get a license first if i dont have a motorcycle? what is the order of getting a motorcycle, insurance, license? what do i do first second and third??""

What is the cheapest way to get insurance with a friends car?

I'm already practising my driving lessons and theory. Once I pass what's the best and cheap way to be insured.

Insurance!?

We are in the process buying a home and we ARE going to get homeowners insurance but I was just wondering if they make you get it? Also I was wondering if anybody knows if I live on a flood plain if i HAVE to get flood insurance too? THANK YOU!

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deducatbale do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance? also, do you support obamacare?""

Can you insure a car that does not belong to you?

I am driving my friends car with his permission and have taken out a car insurance policy in my name. Is this legal?

Can anyone take a Life Insurance Policy on my life without me knowing it?

A while ago I heard of a story of a buisness taking life insurance policies out on their employees without their knowledge of it. So, I figure it cant be a far stretch for anyone to take out an life insurance policy on anyone if they know the relevant personal information. If they can, how can I find out what insurance company has written so I can have it DESTROYED.""

Will lawmakers eventually create a national health insurance exchange instead of the state based exchanges?

Also, is it possible still for health insurance companies to be given the freedom to sell their policies across state lines?""

""My car was stolen and recovered, insurance are offering me a low figure or they will repair it.any advis?""

car: renault megane dynamiquie, 1.9 dci, mileage 106,000, black, 5dr, before stolen: smooth drive, nothing wrong with it.. after stolen recovered: insurance says it will cost 2300 to repair it hence offered me 'total loss' and got me a 'salvage offer' of 4k. Insurance is saying I only got two opetions accept offer or have it repaired. I think offer is low and dont want to get it repaired in case something else goes wrong with afterwards.. I always thought you can reject first offer so how come in this case I am not getting the option to reject offer??? Insurance are saying they are getting on 4k from salvages for the car hence wont give me more then that.. but shouldnt my insrance top up with some more or am I being silly? please advise.....""

How should i select PIP in car insurance...?

Hi.. I am going to take a car insurance and i am not very much clear about PIP. what is the best option to take as there are 4 PIP options given to me I have a health insurance that covers me till 80 % of the expenses. So if i take PIP option in my car insurance will it cover me the rest of the 20 %? will both the insurances work together? Please let me know. Thanks

What is the best car insurance that you don't have to pay much in any state?

I live in NJ and paying half as my car cost...

Is burial life insurance different from final expense life insurance?

My mom has been wanting to buy burial life insurance but is confused about the terms she sees online. She says she keeps seeing the term final expense life insurance on some of the websites. Can someone explain what the difference in these two terms is?

Temporary car insurance? ?

I recently bought a vehicle from a private party sell. I thought there was a grace period to get insurance but I was wrong. Is there a way I can get temporary insurance just so it'll be street legal? Like a 24 hour insurance or something similar? I need to move soon and the truck needs to come with. Let me know. Thanks.

Cat insurance question ?

If my cat is ill before the 14 days insurance kicks in can i still claim for illness cover

Teen Car Insurance + Accidents Clarification?

I'm a 16 year old girl who just got her license in March. A week after I got my license, I rear ended another car while driving my mom's new car that is insured. We got it fixed and only had to pay the 500 dollar deductible. I do not have my own car. My sister, who is 19, has her own car that is not covered for collision. My dad's car is not covered for collision either. My sister just got into an accident, rear ending someone as well. I really need to get a car next year for work and such but my parents said my insurance would be high enough already with both of me and my sister's accidents. Couldn't I just buy a car on my own and not get collision coverage on it like my dad and sister's cars? Would that be cheaper? I really don't know how car insurance works at all, i only know what my parents tell me, so any help would be appreciated :) Oh, and if it matters, I went to traffic school after my accident to remove the points against my driving record (I think that's what it did) My sister had already gone to traffic school recently for a speeding ticket so she can't go again for her accident.""

How much does insurance cost?

in california? my mother is on a stupid hmo, i was wonderingif i paid for a better insurance if it would get better.""

Mother has Mental Illness but no Insurance?

We are at the moment living in california but my mother has mental illness when we were back in The Netherlands she was given pills to take to supress that voice in her heads making her go crazy, but now we are here and we don't have any insurance yet is it possible that she gets insurance if she supports her illness?""

What kind of health insurance should I get?

I'm 20 I live with my parents we have U visas I know I don't qualify for Medicaid but I know we have to get insurance or pay the fine. What are my best options? Something affordable. Any advice would help because I know nothing about this! Thank y'all

Can you or spouse be denied group health insurance?

I have stage 4 cancer. I have insurance through my husbands job. If my husband changes jobs and is offered insurance at the new job can I be denied insurance due to the preexisting condition? I live in Georgia. I already checked and got information on cobra.

2000 grand prix insurance?

how much would it cost a 16 yr old to insure on a 4 door 2000 grand prix GT. we have statefarm and are just trying to get an idea of the price. he has good grades and took the driving class also.

If i have liability insurance and i hit a car but the car leaves the accident will my insurance pay?

I have liability car insurance and the other day a car pulled over in my lane and just stopped i ran into the back of her smashed the front end of my car(non driveable) the police said it wasn't my fault and the other car just left right after it happened. Will my insurance pay for my car?????

""As a minor, where can I get the cheapest car insurance?""

im 16, and my dad said i wont be driving until he sees that i can pay my own insurance. i know its REEEEALLY expensive for a minor, so where can i get it cheap?""

Female car insurance companies?

does any1 know any good cheap female car insurers?

car insurance quotes fort wayne indiana

Ok I am for the poor getting Health Care....And I am also for insurance reform?

for crying out loud there are kids poor with illness..for them to not be insured is just insane... 1.What I am not for however is this fine for not having insurance if you can afford it.It is there choice and they should be made to pay for there health care should it go South...If they lose there house,car etc than that is there fault because they made a choice.AND please don't come on here and say there is not a fine for it because there is..I just read it again... 2.What I would also like to know is why the Democrats voted out the amendment to the bill that stated that if you have insurance you will not have to replace it with something else?Is that not something Obama has already promised would be in the bill... Thanks for all the Answers ahead of time...""

Moving in 1.5 months and getting a car - Should i buy before or after for car insurance?

I'm planning to buy a car but I'm moving to a new place in 1.5-2 months. Question is, should I buy the car while i'm still at my current address, or wait til I move to the ...show more""

Which health insurance is better?

I'm 18 and my current health insurance (it's called Neighborhood in NYC) has currently expired. I can either re-certify this or be added to my dad's GHI health insurance, which is provided by the city. His insurance includes copays and such that I've never done before. Which insurance makes more sense?""

Car insurance and accidents?

I was at fault in an accident. So insurance had to pay the damages and premiums will go up. Will it go up higher if I have them fix my car also? If I fix it myself will that cause it to go up less than if I use insurance money?

Car insurance?

I PLAN TO PURCHASE A USED CAR. THIS WILL BE MY FIRST CAR SO I DO NOT HAVE ANY CAR INSURANCE. I KNOW THAT I CAN NOT DRIVE THE CAR OFF THE LOT UNTIL I HAVE CAR INSURANCE. SO WHAT DO I DO? CAN I SIGN UP FOR CAR INSURANCE AT THE LOT? WHAT IS A GREAT CAR INSURANCE COMPANIES? ANY HELP YOU COULD GIVE ME WILL BE GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH :)

Divorced Parent's Car Insurance?

I'm under my mothers car insurance policy, so does that mean if i drive my fathers truck and I get into an accident, Were not covered? and does someone in your immediate family need car insurance when driving it if you are the registered owner""

Can i insure my car under my dads name?

so im an 18 year old boy right now i drive my dads old car under his insurance, and the registration is in his name, and thats all fine and everything. however my mom is renewing her drivers license soon (she had an accident that didnt allow her to drive for a few years) so my dad is giving her the mini van back and obviously, taking his car back. luckily, i have been anticipating this happening, as all good things must come to an end, and have saved up for a car of my own. i found one, and i went to get an insurance quote and found it was near $90 a month under my name. I put in the same coverage but with my dads information this time and got a quote of $30 a month for the same car. (because apparently 18 year old boys are dangerous drivers or something?) any way, what i am wondering is can i buy the car, and get it registered in my name, but have the insurance covered under my dads name? or should i just give my dad the money for the car and have him buy it and put it in his name and under his insurance but i just drive it, much like what we do now?""

Will health insurance cover IVF procedure?

As of right now, my health insurance have been covering all of my wife procedure of IUI and her surgery for unblock 1 of her tube. But after 3 procedures of IUI and all are negative, I think my Dr will go to IVF next and just wondering if health insurance will cover the IVF procedure.""

What is the average cost for business insurance? Specifically liability and workers compensation.?

I am working with a skincare product company that needs to purchase insurance to cover various things such as allergic reactions, etc...Is that liability? What are the average costs? Also need recommendations for health insurance for workers.""

How much is car insurance for a 20 yr old?

20k car paying monthly, want estimated numbers dont give me no depends on your state and what car your driving""

How much would my car insurace be with a used 2007 scion tc?

By time I get the car I will be 18 years old. I have allstate insurance. I drive under my mom and dads name and I have a 3.1 GPA. I've never gottten in a wreck or gotten a ticket and i've been driving for almost a year now. About how much do you think my insurance willl be monthly? Thanks.

""How does car insurance in Ontario, Canada work if deductibles are involved?""

Maybe I'm missing something here, but the way it's been explained to me is this: I've got a $500 deductible on my policy. If someone backs into my parked car, this will be deducted from the payout I get for repairs. OK, let's say the damages amount to $900. That would mean that because of MY $500 deductible, the payout to me would be $400. I'd have to pay the other $500 out of pocket to repair my car. The insurance company would then reclaim that $400 from the other guy's insurance company. Now, if the other guy also has a $500 deductible (very likely), then he'd have to pay $400 out of pocket. That seems wacked to me. Someone damages my car, and he has to pay LESS than I do for the damages. Am I missing something?""

How much would insurance be on a corvette?

I'm looking at corvettes in the 1998-2003 range, about 100,000 miles on it. I will be 18 when I buy it and I'm hoping I keep my perfect driving record. If it's affordable ...show more""

Keeping my car at a different address than given to car insurance company?

I am currently looking at car insurance (17 male) and for a peugot 106 its 2,100 at my address, but at my dads address its 1,850? He only lives like 1 mile away... If i put his address in the insurance website, but the car will be staying at my address is there anyway they can find out or check? I stay at my dads now and then and the car will be there sometimes but most of the time it will be at my address.... But i dont want to pay another 250pound for living like 1 mile away...lol""

How much does insurance cost on a Ferrari?

I've always wondered what the cost of insurance would be for a $250k car such as a Ferrari F430. just curious

American auto insurance?

hello im livivng in ireland and over here we have a disc that is dispayed in the windscreen of our vehicles for our insurance policy but what way does it work in the usa? is there a disc to be displayed?

Can you take a rental car when you do not have any personal vehicle or auto insurance?

I do not have any car insurance right now. I am planning to get a car rental for a month. Do I need to get some insurance for this? What happens if cop pulls me up will rental agreement be sufficient?

Looking for insurance?

I'm self employed and I drive for a living, I own a freightliner and it has 90k miles on it. My warranty is going to run out and I'm looking to get a extended warranty but no success. I was thinking I could get insurance to cover it. Does anybody know of anything else! I'm just trying to protect my business.""

How do I get affordable health insurance for my son?

I was in between jobs last year so I had to put my son on medicaid. As soon as I found a job I let them know but they kicked him off of it anyways. The problem I am having is that my insurance at work don't kick in until November and he has to have insurance by then for doctors appointments, etc. I tried to get MC+ for kids but they make it almost impossible to get. I just was wondering if anyone knew of a place where I can get affordable health insurance for my son?""

Help with health insurance in Delaware.?

I need: dental health 0 deductible 20% or less I can pay out of pocket basic emergency just in case copay doesnt matter Also, have not been to doctor in a while except one time I had insurance they told me to lose weight and I had to get blood test all good readings. And also, I need test for my hearing and sleep apnea test. I am looking for a quote for type of insurance that covers this and basic coverage for anything else I might need thank you and have a great day.""

Does a parking ticket raise insurance?

I got a 35$ ticket. (my first ticket). will this go through to my insurance and my record? or do i just gotta pay the fine?

Is California more expensive because of too many people...?

And not enough properties? Or is it expensive because of high insurance because it's in an earthquake zone, or is it expensive because of high taxes? What is it EXACTLY that makes California expensive? I count other cities beside L.A. too.""

Why arent car insurance comparison sites easy?

I am really confused how to use the damn things, for example i am trying to find a cheap quote but it keeps on asking when i want the policy to start?? When i do not want it to?? What policy date should i put in if i am just trying to find cheap insurance, not wishing to start it. Help is much appreciated!""

""Republicants, you do know that the larger the insurance pool the lower the cost?

Everybody pays into a pool it makes it cheaper overall.

How much is the insurance for a 2005 ford mustang?

I am 16 and want a for mustang 2005. I have State Farm and I want to know the estimated insurance for it in Florida.

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-come-red-colored-car-more-expensive-steven-mccoy/"

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gooeyguy · 8 years ago

Text

email to my teacher (warning alot of personal stuff)

Hey so, sorry to email you out of nowhere like this? But i feel like maybe im finally at a point where i can explain more thoroughly why im having trouble with school or just succeeding in general. I think its really important that i tell you some of this junk because theres a chance it might make the rest of the year easier for you and me.

I wanted to start off with apologizing for all the trouble ive caused you throughout the year with the annoying comments, disruptions and backtalk. And most of all the terrible ability i have with doing and turning in work.

This email is mostly to explain my situation and reasoning for acting/struggling the way i have been (not to annoy you or be sarcastic).

Alright so, if you havent noticed i struggle with some things and one of them i never really bring up is ptsd. I have been diagnosed and im hoping to enlighten you on my specific issues with it, (everything i mention will apply to me as to make it less confusing from here on)

I have a specific type of ptsd called Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma) This type of ptsd is different in that it results from repetitive, prolonged trauma. My causes for being diagnosed are specifically natural-detachment from my mother and physical/sexual abuse growing up and some other things im not going to mention.

My side effects from this are,

Attachment – "problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to other's emotional states, and lack of empathy"

This is strongly linked to my reactive attachment disorder and explains alot to why i am the way i am. Heres a link to a website http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-reactive-attachment-disorder#1 that explains a bit of what it is so that i do not have to make this already long email that much longer, i would also really appreciate it if you read even just a little.

I have an extreme lack of trust in others and am constantly doubting myself, there is not a second of the day where i dont think im a horrible person, i could be doing better, im disgusting to look at ect. The social isolation is a big problem for me, because im “this way” i feel that bothering others with my presence/problems/medical difficulties ect. is not necessary and for the better. Hence why i refrain from asking when i really need help, im scared to bother you. I dont want to make you angry and i know you and mrs mumford are already so stressed by the time my bell starts.

Biology – "sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties, somatization, and increased medical problems"

This ties into my Fibromyalgia and eds which ill explain more about after i go through ptsd. Its all kind of one big mixed bag of disorders that tie together and make me the way i am.

Affect or emotional regulation – "poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes"

Like i talked about before i feel extremely useless and annoying when asking for help or even talking about the things i enjoy. And when trying to explain my difficulties i stop midsentence or forget words/forget what my problem is and it becomes frustrating.

Dissociation – "amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events"

THIS is what i blame for never being able to remember anything. With fibromyalgia i have whats called “brain fog” and with the constant dream like state im in because of dissociation it makes my memory absolutely terrible. Remembering your names in class took me until almost 3rd quarter and it was utterly embarrassing(i still forget sometimes), its even more embarrassing when i forget basic buttons on the calculator and have to ask in front of everyone looking like an idiot.Or when i try to shout out an answer in class and it comes out gibberish because my mind is everywhere all at once, Or when we have a test on the formula we learned a week ago, and of course my mind draws a blank. I cant remember, and it makes me so frustrated with myself that i want to break down right there in class. It renders me doing weird things too, like the other day i put the icecream in the bread drawer, and on sunday i woke up and got ready for school. Theres alot of other things i could say but its as if fibro is laughing in my face.

Dissociation in my own words is feeling like nothing is real, things dont feel like they happened. What does feel real is the pain/feeling in my body, i am a very anxious and jumpy person so im very sensitive to loud sounds/touch/weather and certain (triggering) talk among students. And yet i still feel in a daze,My vision will sometimes blur and i am very prone to falling/accidents, staying focused can be extremely frustrating because my brain feels like a cloud, its almost uncontrollable like a dream. I dont think anyone can control those very much so i think its a good example.

Behavioural control – "problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems"

Im pretty okay with impulses, i of course have alot of very impulsive thoughts but i am good at controlling them id say, same with aggression but i very much so struggle with sleep problems because of nightmares from ptsd and chronic pain from fibro, i have not been diagnosed with insomnia but im sure i fit the criteria im just really bad at opening up with doctors/people ect.

These are just a couple more symptoms to help explain,

Cognition – "difficulty regulating attention, problems with a variety of "executive functions" such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring, difficulty processing new information, difficulty focusing and completing tasks, poor object constancy, problems with "cause-effect" thinking, and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities."

Self-concept – "fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self".

Alterations in relations with others, including isolation and withdrawal, persistent distrust, a repeated search for a rescuer, disruption in intimate relationships and repeated failures of self-protection.

Loss of, or changes in, one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.

Variations in consciousness, including forgetting traumatic events (i.e., psychogenic amnesia), reliving experiences (either in the form of intrusive PTSD symptoms or in ruminative preoccupation), or having episodes of dissociation.

Changes in self-perception, such as a chronic and pervasive sense of helplessness, paralysis of initiative, shame, guilt, self-blame, a sense of defilement or stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings

Now that im done explaining the ptsd, Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain disorder that my doctor believes to be linked to my other disorders, Fibromyalgia has to do with the senses we as humans all have, feeling, hearing, taste, and sight. The difference between someone with fibro and an average healthy person is lets say theres a knob for how strong each of these senses are, so imagine someone taking all those knobs and turning them all the way up to max sensitivity. Youd think oh cool youre like a super hero (like my sister likes to say) but no its the exact opposite, it does not benefit me whatsoever. Feeling, paired with ehlers danlos syndrome both my joints and my muscles are constantly in pain and some days ill have what you call a “flare up” which is where getting out of bed usually isnt an option for my body, i cannot remember the last time i didnt feel at least a dull ache in my head, i get migraines at least once everyday and unfortunately i get nauseous so i dont eat very much . Almost everything is irritating to my skin, a simple light rub of my finger on the top of my forearm is irritating and raw feeling (like ive been sitting there rubbing the same spot for hours) /Writing is over all painful, including typing as well/

If youve ever woken up in the morning with sore muscles from pushing yourself too hard the day before,that is how the muscles in my body feel, if you press on them they ache, and sting/burn when i use them. painful touch for most of my body paired with constant anxiety of getting bumped into/touched is stressful and tiring. On a good day my pain scale is a 5 from 1-10 but thats if im really lucky.

Then theres the weather, if im too hot and i start to sweat, the sweat stings my skin and i end up going into a frenzy of scratching and agony. If its too cold my joints will start to lock up and become painful, its like they freeze and when i move them it feels like im shattering ice in my hand mixed with dull muscle ache. If its a good temperature theres still the feeling and i swear, the sound i can hear of my joints grinding together like two pieces of rubber being rubbed against eachother slowly.

Hearing is also bad, loud sounds are very irritating to my ears and will cause my migraine to get worse.(Talking too loud)Other irritating sounds, paper rubbing against paper roughly making that blblblb sound, high pitched noises of any loudness, squeaks, repetitive beeps ect.

Sight wise turning on lights abruptly is painful and makes my migraine worse, any bright light in general.

Taste doesnt really matter so i wont mention, but because these knobs are turned full blast it means the nerves and pain receptors in my body are being over worked constantly by my brain

And my brain thinks its doing its job by constantly acting like ive been running triathalons.

The recollection of pain comes in avalanches of distress for me. I usually experience the intense turmoil of fibromyalgia in the winter, or whenever cold fronts shatter the air and its frail victims. My limbs cannot contain the strength possible to function during those cold spells. Fibromyalgia’s lengthy sentence comes and goes for some, but, as a teenager, it’s disheartening. For the rest of my life, I will never be able to remember living without every waking moment marked by pain.

The abnormality of fibro weighs on my shoulders when I’m asleep, awake, or anywhere inbetween. I wake up at 4:30 each morning in order to be shuffling around by 6:20 a.m. The heaviness of my body pulls me down and pains me as I take a shower, put on my clothes, and put my small backpack on my shoulder to head out to school. Any sense of touch creates extreme levels of pain for me. Touching my arm, poking my leg, and brushing against my back hurt as much as twisting my ankle. My distraught reaction is a lot like a dog crying in pain and distrust after you accidentally step on its paw. Because im always in pain im always right next to the emotional breaking point, im always on the verge of tears. The smallest things can make me break down.

The pain prohibits me from being a teenager. Thanks to fibro, I cannot dress up in my favorite clothes and be what you call “Extra” everyday as i so much wish to be during the winter. My hands are crooked and shake too much usually to apply makeup. I struggle with applying eyeliner, because my hands hurt too much wrapped around a brush. The uncomfortable school chairs make me weep when I return home, because they destroy my concentration, forcing me to focus on the overwhelming pain I feel. I used to excel in school, but now, I can barely think fast enough, and come off as ditzy. I feel like I’m constantly struggling to maintain the fragments of my intelligence I lost due to fibro medication and fibromyalgia itself.

My GPA, became my ball and chain in school, rather than an accomplishment worth sharing. During the year, my schedule is dictated by the weather. Cold weather causes agonizing, excruciating pain that races down my spine and branches through my limbs. If a cold front passes, rain falls, snow falls, or temperatures drop, I freeze like the Tin Man, except there isn’t any oil to move my joints. The way I get sleep should be considered a torture method. Many people feel refreshed or renewed when they wake up after 8 hours, but I feel completely restless and exhausted. And thats if the nightmares from the PTSD dont interrupt. I toss and turn for hours in pain, because the pain signals interrupt the sleep cycle. I cry intensely whenever I think of sleep; school usually means a lack of sleep, but I am further deprived without choice. My biological system cannot allow me to rest, and continues to tense my muscles in a constant state of flight or fight.

With most schools starting at 8 a.m., my body struggles to run on 8 hours of sleep (which really feels like two). The exhaustion prevents me from hanging out with some of my closest friends. In the early stages of having fibromyalgia, I used to be able to do school clubs, hang out with my best friend, and go to cons with my friends often. Now, I spend my time huddled down, trying to make up for the nights of lost sleep. The lack of sleep and the endless pain contribute to extreme depression. And to keep my mood relatively happy i act like a goose in school with friends which doesnt do me good with teachers, I do it to not break down and let myself get too low around others because i know id regret embarrassing myself like that more than anything. The pain yearns for my thoughts to leap toward suicidal thoughts, and I was obsessed with death for years and still am. There was a time when I searched for ways to end my life, because nobody could help me and I couldn’t face living the rest of my life knowing that I’ll always be in pain. I still have these thoughts, and I believe I always will as long as I emit pain. Hence why i was in the hospital for a week recently, the hopelessness and embarrassment is dragging me down. The whole idea of having fibromyalgia embarrasses me. I’m embarrassed that I am constantly being called crippled, disabled, or chronically ill.Or worse not being noticed at all while struggling. I’m embarrassed that fibromyalgia makes me feel like I’m 67 instead of 16. I’m embarrassed that I will never be able to be an artsy beat poet like Patti Smith, or a rock ‘n’ roll guitarist like Keith Richards.

So i think thats as much as i can cover for you right now with my two of my biggest problems , im extremely exhausted and im not joking when i say my fingers feel like they are gonna fall off haha.

Im terribly sorry for how long this email is but i think i got most everything with these two topics in there, also dont feel obliged to reply to this, im already embarrassed i even wrote all this down (terribly).

Quick thing i would like to say before i end the email, with all respect i am not looking for sympathy in any way. I am simply stating the way i am in hopes that if you understand itll make things less stressful for me and you. So dont feel like you have to do anything for me.

Thankyou for reading if you got this far, really. (btw forwarding this to Mrs. m******d is totally okay with me)

#i was up at 2 am writing this #its kinda gross #but it explains so much

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