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HELLO!!
This blog reads in chronological order. The top being the newest posts, and the bottom the oldest. Please scroll all the way down to the bottom and read your way upwards :)
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FInal Post
I believe this will be my final post. My object has taken me far. I have reflected on so many aspects of my life. And Im ready to leave this here for now.
Ive unpacked a lot within myself during this process, and im so grateful for my object to have brought me on this peculiar journey. Thank you also to Julia for allowing this all to unfold.
Goodbye for now Tumblr! Thanks for holding all this crazy information.
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THE ART OF MEDICINE - Materiality and Thread
( Trigger warning: selfharm )
I finally read the reading I posted earlier which my flat mate sent me.
Super interesting ! I made sure to underline key ideas. This also helps me to slow down when reading and really understand the content. Essentially the reading is about Colin Blicknell, a vascular surgeon and Fleur Oakes who makes needle lace. Within Fleurs practise she has a great understanding of how to control thread. Colins students went and visited Fleur to learn about working with thread. Of course as future surgeons they will be stitching up many wounds, and who better to learn from than a master of thread like Fleur. Through this collaboration of science and art, the students were able to examine there work in a new light, and to try alternative approaches. Emphasised in the text, was the connection between the hand, the material, and the tool.
It’s really interesting the collaboration between science and art. How much we can learn from other areas if we only take the time to draw such simple conclusions.
I’m sorry I couldn’t dissect this reading any better, but it was fun to read. It opened my mind to what else my thread could be used for. I hadn’t thought about it in the sense of medical use.
Actually I’ve just realised that’s a big fat lie. Something I suppressed earlier. Uh oh here goes a worm hole.
AHH shit I’ve avoided talking about this. So on the first day, with the initial trigger of the memories of Mum. Came the memories of my self harm days. Yuck I hate talking about this… So for three years I did a great job of using my body as a razor blade canvas. I did a pretty good job. I never told any one I was doing this during the time. So I never got stitches. Lord did I need them. I had huge scars from these incidents. The big ones I did took over three months to heal on there own. I would go to the chemist and buy all sorts of plasters to just patch myself up. Fuck I can’t even explain how painful this was, having an open wound on my hips and arms for this long. I won’t elaborate further. But yeah I never got stitches. And then a roll of cotton turned up in my life to remind me of such.
Fuck how funny that she sent me this reading. I wouldn’t have come back to the idea at all without it. Again the universe working in fun ways. I actually had surgery about a year ago to remove 5 scars. 2 from one hip, one from the other hip, and two big boys from my arm. Of course when you do that to yourself, and leave it untreated you end up with some fucked up scars. It took me two years to get the bravery to get rid of some of them. I still have hundreds of scars. Some the size of a fat earth worm, some faded out now to look like a army of stretch marks. But it’s some thing I have to live with. And it’s kind of hard. Especially with these new scars from the surgery. They look slightly better than the old ones. But the colour had faded on the old ones. And now these are purple again. So you can really see them. I see people looking at my arm often. I don’t blame them. It’s pretty fucked up. Yeeeeahh… silly noodle I can be.
I haven’t self harmed in 3 years. Very good stuff from me. I guess the scars traumatised me so much that I’ve never allowed myself to add more damage to an already damaged body.
That was a lot. Sorry for the trauma dump. Sadly it’s relevant. And I feel needs to be in here.
I ask you to read this with as little judgement possible. It was a person I don’t claim to be acting when this happened.
Alright I can’t type anymore and I’m not sure what else to say. But thanks Katie for the reading, you really did something by sending that to me.
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Made this interesting looking poster thing with my illustration. Pretty cool! I love digitally manipulating images. You wouldn't even know this was made from a very old roll of string.
I would like to try make this into a poster with text, but i hate using text so i may just leave as is.
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Screenshots from a video of Pluto and my object. He was so curious! Bless, I think he thought I was giving him a toy. I actually unwrapped it in front of him to see his reaction and it was very inquisitive. I would love to know how that dogs brain works.
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Following taking photos of my object with my cat Felix, I wanted to do the same with my dog Pluto, also known as Mr P. The first photo makes me giggle. Such a funny tail. They sit really well together for some reason.
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Negative space illustration, of Sylko Scan. Completed on procreate on my iPad. Time took 2 hours.
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Reading kindly sent to me by my flat mate. I Havent gotten around to reading this and responding to such yet. I will post as a reminder!
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Illustration of the original sticker. Created on Procreate on my Ipad.
This was really fun to draw! I would love to do the other side of the sticker now.
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I took a really sweet video of my dog interacting with my object following the previous photo of my object and my cat. Unfortunately tumblr is being a douche bag and isnt letting it upload. Ive spent hours trying to upload it from all different devices with no luck. Ill have to settle for screenshots of the video unless a miracle happens :(
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Throughout the class, it has been emphasised to observe how our objects interact with other objects. I did so early with my discoveries of my object sitting on an old sewing box.
As I said earlier I decided to bring my object with me to wahieke. Just before showering, I was looking in my bag for my lip balm and found my object staring back at me. It was a feeling as if it wanted me to give it attention. My cat was sweetly sleeping on bed, and I decided I wanted to take a photo of the two of them together.
Somehow these two perfectly interact. They are both soft and sweet and small. My object is still wrapped from last class when I was going to gift it back to Julia. Held in its wrapping it interacts with my cat Felix like camouflage. They both look so sweet together. It sat perfectly on has back, and he didn't seem to mind at all.
An interesting observation between animals and objects.
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I saw this video today. And its entirely how I feel about this project. I feel like I am trauma dumping onto this project. Im worried Its wrong that Im doing so. But this is where my object has lead me, and im surprised it has. I dont think any response to this class is wrong. But im second guessing myself. This blog diary style approach has become really personal. Im glad it has because I really have commited to my object in a way I havent engaged in any other class before.
Apologies to Julia in advance for the Trauma dumping <3
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Hello.
Its the first week of holidays. Im not feeling fabulous. I enjoy the routine of Uni and without it I feel quite lost. Im really glad this has extended over the holidays so I have more time with this class.
Today I came over to Wahieke to see my Mum and my uncle. Im only here for a couple days. But when I was packing I decided to bring my object. Im finding an extreme amount of comfort in my object at the moment. I didn't have this connection with it a few weeks ago. Its has the feeling of a childhood blanket. If that makes sense.
Its really special to me. My anxiety has been really bad this year, and all off a sudden I find my object helping my anxiety. Its a little piece of distraction and strength. Im not too sure why it makes me feel so calm and comforted but it does.
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Installation photos - Lesson 6
i am so sad that this day is over. I will miss it so much.
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LESSON 6 - Reflection
Today we had our final class of the object. I am very very sad. This has been my favourite class of my entire 3 years at Whitecliffe. Its allowed me to connect with people I never would have otherwise. Over the weeks, Julia created a safe space where everyone felt comfortable to share such personal details about themselves. Everyone shared such intimate memories, it inspired me greatly. I have a really hard time opening up to people about anything personal. I have so much respect for everyone sharing there stories. Its so difficult to be vulnerable and let people see that side of you. Julia created a space where we all were able to do so. Even better than this, she really sees us as people. Its hard to connect with adults sometimes, especially in a student teacher relationship where there is a power imbalance. But with Julia there is no power imbalance. Only an extreme level of respect and friendship. Im so grateful for being taught by her. She is an incredible woman with an incredible mind.
We installed our objects in the class. It was so much fun. I felt very childlike, and very happy. I tied my roll of cotton onto the blinds. There was a small piece of green string hanging from the blinds which caught my eye. I was able to thread this through the hole in the middle of the cotton with katies crochet hook. I then tied the green string to the end of the thread. It dangled beautifully in front of the window.
Other objects found there way to its company. They all looked beautiful together. But I couldn't stop looking at mine. It slowly wiggled in the air. It seemed alive to me for the first time.
After installing my cotton, I looked for a place to put my paper. This was Sylkos wrapping. On top of a storage unit in the back of the class, there was a box with an assortment of dried leaves and sticks. The perfect perch to hang my paper. It has a large hole in the middle which I hooked over the stick. It looked beautiful.
I wanted the two objects to feel connected in some way, they were so far away from one another. I placed a green pin on a wall halfway between the two objects. The green pin was the same colour as the string hanging off the blind, which Sylko was tied to. I felt this created a line for your eyes to follow between the two.
I was planning to give my object back to Julia today. But when I wrapped it up ready to give back to her, I just couldn't. Theres so much I haven't unwrapped yet. I know its really trying to teach me something. And I just haven't found out what yet. I worry that Im projecting onto the object. Maybe this isn't the object at all, Its me unpacking something within.
Its triggered a lot of personal memories for me. And I feel silly that it has. As I said I really struggle with sharing any personal information about myself. I feel embarrassed that this is where my object has taken me. I shouldn't feel guilt for how this has unfolded. I think I just need to commit to this entirely. Not feel any fear for sharing what this is saying to me.
I hope that made some sense. It was a really amazing day. But so sad. My last class I will ever have taught by Julia. Its been an incredible three years to be taught by her. I have never felt so inspired by a teacher before. Or have had so much respect for a single person.
- Sorry to be a kiss ass Julia. If I had such an impact on someone, I would appreciate reading their words. So I will include this! Its kind of embarrassing for me. But its important because everything Ive gained and learnt from this has been because of you. Thank you for teaching me over these years. Its been amazing, I truly cant put it into words.
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