#there is so much scenes that made me laugh your humor is unmatched

[byunfirstlady]

kim mingyu’s (unhelpful) guide to losing your virginity

❝ you’re telling me that you, Miss Dick Repellent, had sex with Captain Chastity By Choice over here. ❞

PAIRING ▸ kim mingyu x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, humor, college au, best friends to lovers au, friends with benefits au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, alcohol consumption, rated m for mingyu, slow burn, he fell first but she fell harder but then he tripped and ate shit, probably the most self-indulgent thing i’ve written, mingyu and mc are both virgins, sexual content, sexual tension, protected and unprotected sex (i would not advise doing the latter), lots of teasing and banter, oral (f. and m. receiving), fingering, wall sex, couch sex, public sex, mingyu discovers what pasties are, soonyoung orders 20 connect fours, they are avid enjoyers of the barbie movies

SUMMARY ▸ after accidentally telling your friends that kim mingyu took your virginity (he didn’t), you’re shocked when he proposes to relieve you of the fabled v-card for good (he does).

PLAYLIST ▸ perfect by one direction • spell by niki • fatal flaw by ellise • give me a kiss by lolo zouaï • step? by bibi

WORD COUNT ▸ 31,273 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ someone (fia) once told me i write too many college aus. i said yeah ur right. and i’m gonna do it again

“BIRDS AND BEES CANNOT PHYSICALLY FUCK.”

You sounded more distressed than informative while you were trying to reason with your longtime best friend, Kim Mingyu. He, on the other hand, appeared visibly worked up over this childish level of argument you two were having.

“It is a metaphor,” he said. “Everyone knows birds and bees aren’t screwing each other up in the trees.”

You still couldn’t wrap your head around it. Hours ago, you had fucked yourself over after Kwon Soonyoung had casually brought up the topic of body counts. After everyone in your friend group went around listing theirs (Soonyoung: 3; Jungwoo: 3; Minghao: 2; Vernon: 5), you accidentally blurted out that your body count actually existed—one, to be exact.

This was a problem because, to everyone’s prior knowledge, you were a virgin.

Afficher davantage

[nashvilledreams]

My Naya, my Snixxx, my Bee. I legitimately can not imagine this world without you.

7 years ago today, she and I were together in London when we found out about Cory. We were so far away, but I was so thankful that we had each other. A week ago today we were talking about running away to Hawaii. This doesn’t make sense. And I know it probably never will.

She was so independent and strong and the idea of her not being here is something I cannot comprehend. She was the single most quick-witted person I’ve ever met, with a steel-trap memory that could recall the most forgettable conversations from a decade ago verbatim. The amount of times she would memorize all of those crazy monologues on Glee the morning of and would never ever mess up during the scene… I mean, she was clearly more talented than the rest of us. She was the most talented person I’ve ever known. There is nothing she couldn’t do and I’m furious we won’t get to see more.

I’m thankful for all the ways in which she made me a better person. She taught me how to advocate for myself and to speak up for the things and people that were important to me, always. I’m thankful for the times I grew an ab muscle from laughing so hard at something she said. I’m thankful she became like family. I’m thankful that my dad happened to have met her weeks before I did and when I got Glee, he told me to “look out for a girl named Naya because she seemed nice.” Well dad, she was nice and she became one of my favorite people ever.

If you were fortunate enough to have known her, you’ll know that her most natural talent of all was being a mother. The way that she loved her boy, it was truly Naya at her most peaceful. I’m thankful that Naya got that beautiful little boy back on that boat. I’m thankful he will have a strong family around him to protect him and tell him about his incredible mom.

I just hope more than anything that her family is given the space and time to come to terms with this. For having such tiny body, Naya had such a gigantic presence, a void that will now be felt by all of us - those of us who knew her personally and the millions of you who loved her through your TVs. I love you, Bee.

My favorite duet partner. I love you. I miss you. I don’t have words right now, just lots of feelings. Rest In Peace Angel, and know that your family will never have to worry about anything.

We started out as the closest friends and then like all new things, we went through a bit of a rocky phase. However, we stuck by each other’s side and created the most beautiful friendship built out of love and understanding. The last I had the chance to see you in person, I had left oranges outside our home for you to take. I wanted to say hi through the window but my phone didn’t ring when you called (which it never does, f*cking T-Mobile), so instead you and Josey left two succulents on our doorstep as a thank you. I planted those succulents and I look at them everyday and think of you. I still listen to your EP on repeat because from the moment I heard it, it struck me and I always wished the world knew more of your voice. You sent me over 5 dozen SnapChat videos when you and Josey woke up in the morning and I kick myself that I didn’t save one of them. You always shared recipes and I admired your love for food. We vowed to spend every Easter together, even though Covid stole this last one from us. You are and always will be the strongest and most resilient human being I know, and I vowed to carry that with me as I continue to live my life. 

You constantly taught me lessons about grief, about beauty and poise, about being strong, resilient and about not giving a fuck (but still somehow respectful). Yet, the utmost important lesson I learned most of all from you was being a consistent and loving friend. You were the first to check in, the first to ask questions, the first to listen..you cherished our friendship and I never took that for granted. 

We never took photos together because we mutually hated taking pictures...our relationship meant more than proof. I have countless pictures of our babies playing, because we shared that kind of pride and joy. So I’m showing the world a photo of our little goof balls for you, because I know that meant more than anything and they remind me of you and I. I speak to you everyday because I know you’re still with me and even though I’m feeling greedy that we don’t get more time together, I cherish every moment we had and hold it close to my heart.

There are no words and yet so many things I want to say, I don't believe I'll ever be able to articulate exactly what I feel but... Naya, you were a ⚡️ force and everyone who got to be around you knew it and felt the light and joy you exuded when you walked into a room. You shined on stage and screen and radiated with love behind closed doors. 

I was lucky enough to share so many laughs, martinis and secrets with you. I can not believe I took for granted that you'd always be here. Our friendship went in waves as life happens and we grow, so I will not look back and regret but know I love you and promise to help the legacy of your talent, humor, light and loyalty live on. 

You are so loved. You deserved the world and we will make sure Josey and your family feel that everyday. I miss you already.

She was bold. She was outrageous. She was a LOT of fun.⁣

Naya made me laugh like no one else on that set. I always said it while we were working together and I’ve maintained it ever since. Her playful, wicked sense of humor never ceased to bring a smile to my face.⁣

She played by her own rules and was in a class of her own. She had a brashness about her that I couldn’t help but be enchanted by. I also always loved her voice, and savored every chance I got to hear her sing. I think she had more talent than we would have ever been able to see.⁣

I was constantly moved by the degree to which she took care of her family, and how she looked out for her friends. She showed up for me on numerous occasions where she didn’t have to, and I was always so grateful for her friendship then, as I certainly am now.⁣

And even as I sit here, struggling to comprehend, gutted beyond description- the very thought of her cracks me up and still brings a smile to my face. That was Naya’s gift. And it's a gift that will never go away. ⁣

Rest in peace you wild, hilarious, beautiful angel.

How can you convey all your love and respect for someone in one post? How can you summarize a decade of friendship and laughter with words alone? If you were friends with Naya Rivera, you simply can’t. Her brilliance and humor were unmatched. Her beauty and talent were otherworldly. She spoke truth to power with poise and fearlessness. She could turn a bad day into a great day with a single remark. She inspired and uplifted people without even trying. Being close to her was both a badge of honor and a suit of armor. Naya was truly one of a kind, and she always will be. 💔 Sending all my love to her wonderful family and her beautiful son.

Dear Naya, 

I’m failing miserably to process this news. I always imagined old future senior moments where we would hear your infectious laughter down the hall knowing that our funny bone was in for a treat. To many people, myself included, you were the life of the party. Not only able to rock when fun was to be had after a long day but that shining friend that was always willing to listen, offer sympathy, perspective and at times, give much needed levity to any situation. 

You were a beast on the show. I admired you as I watched you nail multi page monologues that you learned moments before and pour your heart into every performance with an energy that had that snicks special written all over it. Our deep conversations about life inbetween scenes are some of my favorite moments with you. Getting to hear about your hopes and dreams for the future and with Josey’s arrival, ‘Your greatest success’ I was so happy to see your dream turn into reality. 

You deserved more. I’m so sorry but you deserved more. You gave life your all and I hope all the good that you have given to the world will be returned in abundance when you reunite with our brother in the heavenly skies. I’m so grateful for our memories. We will make sure to keep your legacy and spirit alive so Josey will grow up to know the incredible woman you were. Love you, Naya. You are already missed. Eternally. 

-HSJ

Naya and I fell into stride with such ease, she was my first friend and ally on our show. In the pilot, our characters came and went with such swiftness. Our enthusiasm brimmed with all of the unknown. We tried to grasp what the other cast members must be feeling as we were working in such separate manners. We dared to dream. What if this show worked? Wouldn’t that be something? Something was brimming, it was palpable. And thank god it worked. Naya’s magnetic talent was going to be unleashed, we just didn’t know it yet. ⁣⁣

I’ve been revisiting Naya’s performances on our show and it has brought me great joy. To work with her was a gift. There was a great deal to absorb - her work ethic, her fearlessness, her talent - supreme. Naya had a laugh that would envelop you and hold you captive. She was mesmerizing. That twinkle in her eye, her luminous smile. Naya lead with truth, humor, wit. I loved her for all of these reasons. ⁣⁣

I loved her sense of curiosity and wanderlust. I was lucky enough to be her travel partner for some of my most favorite adventures. As I write this, I’m grinning with swelling memories of a spontenaous 36 hour excursion - one might even say diversion - to Paris. With Naya, everything was possible and would often simply unfold before us, almost magically.⁣⁣

On this particular jaunt, within ten minutes of checking into our hotel, we found ourselves strolling the halls of L'École des Beaux-Arts, sipping wine from paper cups with students showcasing their latest work. It was fantastic. We were united in our commitment to discovery. And there was always a list of cleverly curated ideas in Naya’s back pocket, should we need it. ⁣⁣

I cannot make sense of this tremendous loss. I will hold onto her and these memories for the rest of time, alongside our Glee family. Please hold space for her, her family, her beautiful boy. ⁣⁣

In absolute, loving memory.

Naya The world is at such a loss and I am truly heartbroken. I still remember the day I met you. You Walked straight up to me, grabbed me by the face and drug me around until I met every single person on set, introducing me as “new booty”. You were one of the first people who made me feel like family when others saw me as an outsider. I didn’t know then that you would become my family and that’s just who you were to everyone.. A Mother, Sister, Daughter and most of all a friend. Your massive heart and bright spark is what carried our entire show, when at times we all felt like giving up. 

You always showed up for me when I needed some wisdom or was down and just needed someone to talk to. You took care of everyone around you in a way that was so warm and comforting and you sure knew how to throw a hell of a party! 

I always admired your bravery and passion to fight for what’s right even when it seemed like you were up against the world. Your spirit is contagious and you continue to make everyone you have touched a better and stronger person by knowing you. 

My favorite part of glee was getting to watch you perform and shine up close every day. You really were the pulse of that show. Anyone who was blessed enough to see and experience your raw talent knows it to be true. You’re one of the smartest and most gifted people I have ever met. There is no one like you and there never will be.

You have changed peoples lives all around the world and you continue to change mine forever. I will never forget your love and kindness. Thank you for sharing your spirit Angel.

I will miss you always. I Love you Naya

For the last 7 years the 13th of July has shattered our hearts beyond repair. There aren’t enough words to describe the pain we are feeling, we are truly heartbroken at the loss of @nayarivera .

Naya, Cory loved you so so much. He cherished your friendship more than you will ever know. From the laughs you shared, to the strength you gave him when he needed it the most. Cory truly adored you. He was in awe of your incredible talent, the way you gave everything you had to each performance; the slap in the auditorium was one of his favourite stories to share. You once said Cory was like a member of your family; you will always be a part of ours. We’ll carry you in our hearts forever. We miss you. Friends reunited for eternity.

We send all our love and strength to your beautiful boy, your family, friends and fans 💔🐻💔

[lilac-melody]

Can’t an Idol Fall in Love with Another Idol? (Fuuma) Honeyworks Novel Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I’m not a pro translator and tbh this chapter probably really proves it. I struggled lots with it ahaha. Hope it’s coherent anyway!

Masterlist here

“Alright, Yui is the center from this next new song onwards!”

“Seriously? Congratulations!”

“Wow, congratulations!”

Applause and echoes of congratulations were raised one after another from the members of Sakura Michi. After finishing their second live performance of the day, there was this sudden announcement in the dressing room.

The previous members who had been at the center of their songs had just announced their graduation last week.

For the past few months, Yui had been suffering from poor physical condition due to overwork, and it wasn’t like her parents could see her and pull her aside and persuade her to take a break.

She hasn’t graduated yet, but even so, she didn’t participate in today’s concert.

“Are you really okay with me?”

The producer then nodded firmly.

“Of course. Yui’s expressiveness is unmatched and I’m looking forward to it. From now on, Yui will be at the center, so please do your best and lead the team well.”

“Yes, I will do my best to live up to my expectations.” Yui bowed to the producer and the members.

“Good luck!” The producer said, and they all smiled and applauded again.

“Also, there will be meetings about the future soon, so we’ll meet up later for that.”

“I’ll call you for that later, Yui.”

“Oh, I’ll go and check the schedule for next week.”

The producers and managers left after that. Yui took the stage costume that was laid on the pipe chair that had been prepared for the time being.

(I’m the center…)

She vaguely reconfirmed it.

The center was the “face” of the idol group. In other words, Yui would become the “face” of Sakura Michi.

Perhaps she finally processed it, but the joy slowly overflowed from her heart.

(I’m glad..! I can finally sing and dance in the middle of everyone!)

More people would see Yui, shake the pink penlight, call Yui’s name, and see more of her. She would be more visible on TV and then…

Then maybe her father...who had left Yui alone, would remember Yui’s existence.

Besides, a lot of people would say that they love Yui, and she could feel more confident in herself.

Would she be able to like herself?

She clenched her hands in her lap.

The expectations and hopes made her feel warmer.

💕

Meetings with the managers and producers were much easier than Yui thought. It seemed she was going to do a big live at the center of the stage.

The center, even though their formation was like a flower shape, was the most important part. She had to keep that in mind.

(I know that much without being told)

There was a reason why people formerly in the center accumulated fatigue, and it was due to the pressure of their responsibility.

(I’m strong. I can do it. I’m okay)

That’s what she told herself as she touched the door to the dressing room, but then stopped.

“Why is she the only one?”

Yui heard the voices of the members inside.

“I don’t understand. I thought for sure Kokone was going to be the next center.”

“I thought so too. Don’t we have more fans?”

Yui felt as though her hand was frozen.

“Aren’t her parents supposed to be really overprotective?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be told my daughter got sick because of her idol activities.”

“And she doesn’t even complain? It’s just stupid and terrible.”

“I know, that’s what I’m saying.”

They started laughing.

(It’s not stupid)

She didn’t understand why they had to smile at her, but then complain behind the scenes.

Even if you get chosen, you’d always become a target for someone like that.

(If you want to be chosen, you have to make an effort to be chosen)

The office was a business, so the parents never got a say in who was the center. And the fact she was raised in a facility had nothing to do with her being chosen.

(It’s not something so humorous to laugh at…)

Yui wanted nothing more than to turn the doorknob and storm inside. However, her hands felt too cold to move. There was also a stuffy feeling in her heart, and a lump stuck in the back of her throat.

(What…)

It hurt? But it shouldn’t hurt.

Because even Yui knew that idols were rivals, even if they were members of the same group. You can never get along well.

Earlier, when the center was announced, all of the “congratulations” and “good luck” she had received had been a lie.

She had noticed that no one had told her, “let’s do our best together!”.

(I’m really not stupid)

Yui laughed through her nose and remembered her past.

She had become an idol and wanted to work hard with everyone in her group, for everyone to get to know each other.

There was a time when she had been excited to make lots of friends.

But this was her reality.

Only fans could pour their love out for them with their open minded hearts.

That’s why she had no choice but to do her best as the center.

(I’m strong. It’s okay. I’m not hurting because of my rivals. I’m fine)

She cooled her expression and put all of her strength into her cold and numb hand.

She was fine.

She just had to put on a face that didn’t look like she had been listening in.

...And if she didn’t get in and get dressed early, she would probably lag behind and be unable to catch up with the dance lessons.

Yuio clenched her teeth and swung the door open. Everyone glanced at her with nervous expressions.

“Yui, welcome back…”

“Um...how was the meeting?”

“I’m tired and don’t remember it very well.” She said coolly and quickly. “I’m in a hurry right now and I have things I need to do. I’ll head home.”

She left the dressing room, listening to the quiet choruses of “good work”.

“Why does she have her own lessons again?”

“Because Yui’s really desperate.”

She could still hear their quiet voices, so she closed the door tightly behind her, and started running.

💕

(What’s with my face...it’s not cute at all)

Through the big window of the rapidly moving train, Yui could see her sick face in the reflection. Her complexion was pale, her lips were dry and had wrinkled a bit during the day.

However, even if she put lipstick over her lips or put foundation on over her eye bags, she still wouldn’t be cute.

Being unable to stare at herself any longer, Yui took a mask out of her bag.

When it was applied, the scent of herbs spread to her throat. It was highly moisturizing and had a special relaxing effect.

She took out her smartphone and started uploading the photos she took after the concert to SNS.

As Yui stared at the slowly increasing number of likes, her heart started to calm, though she also felt a bit impatient.

(Press it more..! Why can’t you get more!)

She wanted more likes than the other members of Sakura Michi. She didn’t want to lose to them, so she needed more fans to do her best.

(Everyone, press “like” more and see me! Prove that Yui is your favorite idol..!)

Yui closed her eyes tightly, with the feelings of annoyance and crying. She took a deep breath, the herbal scent slowly soothing her heart.

(...Speaking of which, isn’t this a mask that was given to me by Shirayuki Fuuma?)

The other day, they had gotten together again for a recording at the idol channel, and she had got it at that time.

It had been given to her on the way home from the voluntary lessons. She had refused it at first, but he had been so persistent that she had no choice but to shove it in her bag.

She hadn’t touched it since then.

(He’s so noisy)

Her phone beeped, signalling an incoming message.

It was from Shirayuki.

Looks good! Anyway, do you have lessons until late today? Be careful on your way home!

She had been forced to exchange contact info with him as well, saying that she should send him a message if she was going to return late and alone.

Even so, Yui continued to leave him on read, wondering when he would give up sending her messages.

It felt like he was getting closer to her heart.

(Ah...what nerve does that guy have?)

She denied her thoughts immediately.

After all, Fuuma had apologized, not Yui, even though he had been the one to hurt his leg during his lessons. She had given him a compress for it.

She had to have been doing something wrong.

(Shirayuki Fuuma, you ridiculous idiot!)

She mentally stuck her tongue out and didn’t respond to his message.

...But she felt a pain in the back of her chest.

(...Ah, I got a message from Uru)

Yui opened Uru’s message.

The test range is so wide, I’m so nervous!

There was a crying face stamp on the message.

(Oh yeah, next week we have a test…)

Yui had been so busy that she had forgotten all about it.

(If it wasn’t for Uru, I’d forget I was still a student and probably wouldn’t go to school)

Uru always had Yui return to her normal junior high school student life. She treated her well, and for Yui, who was often not treated very well, valued her as her most important friend.

Two new messages popped up.

I’ll do my best so I can meet Fuuma-kun!

Want to study together, Yui-chan?

“...”

Yui didn’t like the fact that Uru was so wild about Shirayuki Fuuma. Moreover, recently, it seemed that Fuuma being a crossdresser was beaten on SNS, and news spread as “kimoi!”*.

She didn’t like the fact it had hurt him.

(...Hmph. He’s trying to stand out by dressing up as a woman with a light feeling. It’s none of my business!)

That’s what she was trying to tell herself, though it seems the bashing had also hurt Uru.

Yui started putting her smartphone in her bag, but stopped. She remembered the words Uru had said at school only a few days ago.

“Yui-chan, I’m so sick of the people who deny Fuuma-kun and say bad things about him. They don’t even know anything about him!”

Her chest started aching badly, and this time, she couldn’t ignore it.

Yui had met Dolce several times at work, usually for the special idol channel or for a live, but even so, Yui always felt that Fuuma’s performance was full of heart and that she could feel his hard work.

Was that really just trying to stand out without any effort..?

Those who deny Shirayuki Fuuma, even though they don’t know anything...people like Yui herself.

“This mask is good for your throat and has a good relaxing effect, so you can use it. I love it.”

Fuuma had said that while pressing it in her hand.

To feel the relaxing effect...did he know that she was under a lot of stress?

Was Fuuma really as bad as Yui thought?

She never really thought about it.

No, she just tried not to think about it.

She didn’t like them for their first impression.

After all, if you make someone you didn’t like feel bad, then you start to feel better about yourself. Even Yui unknowingly did that for self satisfaction.

“...not stupid…”

Who? Shirayuki? Or her?

Yui bit her lip, and touched her smartphone with her finger.

*Kimoi is short for “kimochi warui” and is basically slang for “gross”

[cforbes]

Why you should read the Green Creek Series by TJ Klune

To the dismay of my followers I’m sure, I recently discovered a book series that spoke to my soul in a way nothing else ever has. It’s a beautiful coming of age story about werewolves and love which, sadly, barely has a fandom. I would like to change that. Below is a comprehensive list of all the reasons I think you will enjoy reading the Green Creek Series:

No one is straight. It’s been called a “walking pride parade” by the author. And he is not wrong.

Canon bisexual, asexual, and aromantic characters. All three words are explicitly said.

So much found family and heart-filling group dynamics. Your heart will be so full you won’t know how to handle it.

A perfect mixture of plot, fluff, and angst that will leave you feeling satisfied. There is so much plot but somehow he gives you an incredible amount of time to get to know the characters and watch their personal stories play out.

Beautiful, lyrical writing that truly makes you feel. The writing style is so unique and paced in a way that almost feels like poetry.

Forgot how to read like me? The audiobook, in my opinion, has unmatched narration. Kirt Graves brings every single character to life. I think this is why I am so in love with them all.

That being said, every character is so unique and important and real. You really enjoy getting to know every single one of them. There are so many personalities that come together to create something so special.

The characters, their actions, and the way they react to conflict is also realistic in a way I’ve never seen before. Characters hold grudges and get in arguments that just go in circles because that’s what real people do. You really feel like you know them because they are genuine and true.

Laugh-out-loud humor. These characters all bring something different to the table and their conversations will have you rolling.

Unlikely/unexpected main characters. The narrator of the first book is a quiet boy who has a difficult time expressing what he’s thinking. He isn’t good with words and a lot of people think he’s just “big and dumb,” but he’s so so special and full of heart and his journey is so beautiful. This is his coming of age story.

Gordo Livingstone. Listen when I say if you read these books for no other reason, read them for him. He’s a damaged, angry gay man who swears too much and has a heart of gold. He shows his affection through insults and empty threats and would do just about anything for the people he loves. He is the best character I have ever known.

TJ Klune is also an incredible, self proclaimed “unapologetically queer” man who truly cares about his audience and giving a voice to his community. Do it for him.

And oh, did I mention it’s about werewolves, witches, and magic? And everything that comes with that. Pack dynamics written in the best way. Mating and full moons. Territories and family legacies. TJ took everything I love about these concepts and made them into something special.

I also would like to list some warnings/possible triggers:

Questionable age gap(s). While handled as well as they can be, it doesn’t seem entirely necessary. Nothing sexual happens between or with any underaged characters, but I can understand why the age differences would make people uncomfortable as they do meet when they’re children. (I am happy to elaborate on this if anyone is concerned!)

Explicit sexual content. There are two full sex scenes in the first book, one in the second, and ~one in the third. There are also multiple references to other sexual encounters.

References to domestic violence. There are no scenes showing it, just discussing that it had happened.

The R word is used two or three times in the beginning of the first book. It is used by a bully to insult the narrator.

Character death. Not as much as you’d think given how many characters there are, but it still needs to be mentioned.

Excessive swearing. This is actually one of the reasons I adore these books, but it may not be for everyone.

**Edit**Threats of sexual assault as well as the “villain” stating how he wanted to sexually assault a character when he was a minor.

**Edit** Mentions of past torture.

**Edit** General blood/gore/violence.

And that’s all I have! Please please please give these books a chance. Feel free to message me or send an ask if you have any questions or concerns! I will be happy to talk about these with any and everyone.

[sarcastically-defensive17]

hiii what about a penelope garcia x fem!reader where she has a crush on reader has to come to terms with not being entirely straight? or even including the team supporting her too? :) x

Revelation - P. Garcia

Hi darling! Sorry this took so long! Had some changes in my personal life and took a hiatus!

Hope you enjoy!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

For her entire life, Penelope had been discovering who she was. The death of her parents sent her spiraling, but that spiral took a course that helped her piece together the puzzle that was her being.

For some time.

Y/F/N was like a volcanic eruption. A beautiful disaster that, no matter what her intentions were, threw the life of Penelope Garcia through the ringer in the best way she could imagine.

She found herself drawn to the woman more than she had been to any other. Even Derek.

She worked in close quarters with the woman, allowing her to be the first being to share her space for longer than a single case. Y/N was a technical analyst on near equal skill level of Penelope, with a specialization in hacking and decoding. Her skills were utilized efficiently by the BAU, and she became fast friends with the Blonde Bombshell who had occupied a position for years before her.

Y/N was a stark difference to Penelope. All neutral colours, but with vibrant coloured hair. Piercings where Penelope had makeup. A large shaggy dog for a pet, where Penelope had a cat.

They were opposites, yet they got along like they had known each other for many years. And Penelope found herself longing to be with Y/N. More than she normally would.

Y/N always knew when a case was getting too much, and she would always lighten the mood or attempt to distract her.

“Hey Penny?” She would ask, eyes fixed on the computer in front of her but mind on the other woman. Penelope made a noise of acknowledgement, fingers working fast on the keyboard. “What do you call a man with a rubber toe?” The Blondes attention had shifted now. They were working on a case where children had been kidnapped and their parents murdered in their homes. Cases like that always got to Penelope more, and Y/N knew it. “Roberto.”

There was a beat of silence, Penelope looking at Y/N with a confused but humored expression before the other woman snorted loudly.

Penelope grew to love the sound of Y/N’s laugh more than normal. She was a people pleaser, she loved to make her friends happy and bring light into the world, but day after day, she wanted to make Y/N laugh and smile more than others. She would head straight to their office in the morning and greet her with a cup of strong, soy coffee with exactly three and a half sugars. She had Y/N’s order down pat, and fought to hide the butterflies when the other woman greeted her with a hug of thanks and a kiss on the cheek.

Her sexuality was never something that she had questioned. She had always just assumed she was straight, partially because she had never experienced attraction this deeply towards a woman. Or anybody for that fact. She spoke to Y/N any chance she could, but reminded herself that it was always good to be friendly with coworkers. She took the woman out to lunch, dinner, drinks, pet play dates. She longed to be in her presence.

It was as if her body were trying its hardest to convince her mind of what they already knew.

Penelope was falling for Y/N, and she was falling fast.

“Babygirl? Earth to Penelope? Your food’s getting cold,” the fingers of Derek Morgan clicked in her face, snapping her from her thoughts and forcing her eyes to zero in on the scene in front of her. It was a Saturday. No case. And she was in her favourite diner with Derek, Spencer and Emily. Her half eaten Waffles sat in front of her, looking up in disdain as they sunk in the puddle of syrup. “You look like you just went on a round the world trip in 10 minutes.”

If one thing could bring her joy, it would always be Derek Morgan’s smile. He was her best friend, after all.

“Pumpkin, I love you, but don’t snap your fingers at a lady,” she quipped pushing his hands down from their place in the air. “Rest easy, sugar bears, I’m back and ready to finish brunch.”

“What’s on your mind, Penny?” Emily asked. “You were spaced for so long.”

Penelope simply smiled, a warm gesture. She adored her friends, but as far as she knew none of them had ever experienced this. They were all sure of themselves, especially in their sexuality, so she knew. “I’m fine Em, just... have a lot on my mind at the moment.”

Spencer’s brow furrowed. Penelope had always been open with them, for every issue she had. He exchanged a concerned look with Emily, who sat across from him in the booth.

Derek frowned, “You don’t sound fine.” He reached across the table, clasping her hand. Over time he had learnt much about Penelope, including the fact that when things bothered her, she would seek out somebody to help her. If she didn’t, then it was extremely out of character. “You can talk to us, baby. You know we’re here for you.”

Penelope turned her head, catching the smiles of Emily and Spencer. She knew she could trust them. She knew they would be there for her and accept her despite anything. They excused her criminal past, after all.

She knew she could open up, but when she opened her mouth the words couldn’t come out.

She sighed, smiling awkwardly at the three. “I- um. I have feelings for somebody. And I... don’t know what to do about it, or how I feel about having feelings for them.”

Derek made an interested sound, squeezing her hand that was still clasped in his, “Ooh, who’s the lucky guy?”

Her eyes shifted downwards, a blush rising to her face from embarrassment: she had no choice but to open up completely now. She put herself in this position, she thought, time to confide.

She cleared her throat, “Actually, it’s a woman.”

There was barely a second of silence. A quick look of confusion from Spencer as he let her words sink in, and then his former expression laid back on his face. “Okay, so who’s the lucky lady?” He asked.

Penelope needed a moment to allow for their reaction to completely take hold. They didn’t make a spectacle of it, nor did they seem offended or angry. She had expected questioning, despite her friends being the most accepting people she knew. She had been so terrified and now... they were normal.

She was stunned, to say the least. “You guys, you’re... okay with this?”

It was only then that they looked offended, and even so, it was a feigning of the expression.

They all answered her with questions, directing sentences of “why would we be offended?” and “Why would we have a problem?”

It brought a smile to her face.

“But seriously, Penny,” Emily bumped her shoulder, drawing her attention. “Who is the woman who has captured your attention away from us?”

Now she could be open with her friends. “It’s Y/N.” She murmured quietly, a shy smile on her pink stained lips and a large grin stretching across Dereks face.

“Little office romance in the batcave, is there?”

A cherry was tossed at his forehead soon after.

The conversation left Penelope giddy. Even on her way home, her heart swelled with love and her stomach was filled with anticipation for what she planned to do when she arrived home.

The minute she was in her door, her kitten heels were kicked off and she was dialing a very familiar number.

After one ring, Y/N’s sweet voice travelled through the receiver.

“Hey, Penny. How are you?”

The smile on Penelope’s face was unmatched. “I’m amazing.” They chatted for a small while, Penelope gathering her courage entirely before the words fell from her lips. “Would you like to get dinner tonight, if you’re free?”

Y/N sounded shocked at the sudden outburst that interrupted their discussion about the best reincarnation of Dr Who. “Do you mean as a date?”

“Uh, yeah, if you’re okay with that,” Penelope stammered in reply, her confidence quickly fading.

“I would love to!” Came the quick reply, sending her heart skyrocketing again. “Around 7 tonight?”

A breathe of relief left her lungs as she let the words settle in her mind. “Sounds perfect, Y/N.”

Penelope Garcia had a revelation. One that she hadn’t had opportunity to discover before in her life, and she never wanted to look back. She was far too enamored by Y/F/N.

Tag list: @starshonerose @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3 @mantlereid @another-lonely-heart

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[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 15: DR. EGGMAN

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a mini-series of mine, in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, it’s finally time for him. The bad doctor himself. Gather round ladies and gentleman, for the spotlight is on the arch-villain that shines above them all... Dr. Eggman.

The Gist: It's the dawn of the 90's. A little company called SEGA had an ephiphany. They wanted to make a video game juggernaut that could rival the quality and iconic appeal of the then-unmatched Super Mario Bros, and their current star, Alex Kidd, just wasn't doing it in the way that they hoped. They promptly set about starting anew, as a worldwide phenomenon wasn't going to make itself.

So a gentleman named Naoto Ohshima created a selection of design concepts for this brand new mascot. One of these concepts was President Roosevelt in his pajamas.

Seen here with his catgirl body pillow.

The response to this character was “This is good, but we think kids would prefer kicking the shit out of him”, and so he was given an antagonistic role instead. In the meantime, after juggling the rest of their ideas, they eventually settled on a rabbit hedgehog named Sonic for their main protagonist, knowing his Mickey Mouse-like aesthetic would help endear him to the audience, and the franchise as a whole would have an easier time gaining a DeviantART fanbase later on down the line.

Initially, the character of today's review was but a mere lackey among many, seemingly little more than one of numerous minions working for Sonic's originally intended main villain, the Nonspecific Goblin. He was also dressed as a bee for some reason.

Which is the least weirdest thing in this image.

At some point however, they all got together and decided that actually, the guy with the moustache was the only one worth shit, and so he was upgraded to the role of main villain himself. With a spiffy new attire of red and black, he was given the bold title of Dr. Eggman, because with a shape like that, what else are you gonna call him?

“Funny you should say that”, laughed SEGA of America, as they rebelled like an angsty teen and named him Dr. Ivo Robotnik instead. While this name does make equal sense for the character, as he is indeed a hard worker who also happens to like robots, the reason for this name's existence seems to have been mainly because they thought Eggman was too out there of a name for an egg-like man. Whatever the case, this would confuse a lot of fans for years, and remains a point of divisiveness to this day... Unless you're like me and your first game in the series was Advance 2, in which the manual clears it up right away, and you accept the idea of a character having two names and immediately carry on with your life.

He would have aimed it perfectly if it weren't for the Sonic Heroes Parrot distracting him.

And that was that, really. It didn't take long for them to come up with his characterization, which was that of a cackling fiend with an ego to end all egos. This guy was the Narcissist Alpha, more king than actual kings, no strings attached. Other villains would build statues of themselves, but only Robotnik would deface Ancient Egyptian monuments to improve them with his face. Other villains would think “Nah, refacing all four in Rushmore would look silly”, but only the Eggman, the Eggmyth, the Egglegend, would go “Well fuck you, I'm doing it anyway.” Then he'd do it anyway, and proceed to address to the entire world that he did in fact do it anyway.

It also didn't take long for them to develop his primary schtick. With the dynamic of Sonic VS Eggman, you had a classic rivalry between nature and technology. Interestingly enough however, this turned out to be executed more tactfully than your typical Amish-abiding examples in similar media. Never was technology itself regarded as a corruptive influence that you should never utilise no matter what. Rather, it was only as good or as evil as the person using it, with it just so happening that the villain loved machinery only slightly less than he loved himself, and it was countered by Sonic’s best friend being a techno wiz in his own right anyway. Anyhow, with his machinery, the doctor would make a name for himself among video game baddies by confronting his enemy as the boss of nearly every zone in each game, rather than hide away until the endgame.

And all without a driver's licence.

In his soon-to-be-30 years of activity, he has largely remained the same since his inception. Other characters have been introduced, other villains have came and went, but Eggman has remained THE villain of the franchise, and he's remained a vital part of the Sonic the Hedgehog universe... with a slight redesign along the way.

The only ad I don't want to skip.

The Design: Eggman's design may be more simplistic than the likes of Bowser and Ganondorf, and he may not look as openly threatening at first glance, but it's still a very iconic look no matter what look it is. His original appearance was devised so that kids could have an easy time drawing him, which only makes me feel worse about not being able to do it as a grown adult without it looking like a Sexy Legs Kirby.

Still, it's a classic for a reason. With his to-the-point colour scheme, contrasting heavily with Sonic's blue, and his capelet collar resembling walrus tusks, it was an instant winner and made everyone goo goo for g'joob.

The Emeralds he’s juggling are a metaphor for the divided fan community.

And when it was time to give the cast an update for Sonic's first real 3D adventure (or at least the first one that didn't get axed for being a magic eye seizure), Eggman got a respectable change of his own. He was taller, his getup was militaristic, and his body was more legitimately egg-shaped rather than basketball-shaped. He also gained a pair of goggles that he never uses, except in scenes where he puts them on and then never uses them.

“How do my chicken legs not collapse under the might of my gluttonous mass? Find out in an unrelated tie-in novel that you have to pay additional money for.”

There was also that one redesign from 2006, but...

Be it Classic or Modern, I've always loved his design. Before he even says a word or does anything, you know from his appearance that he's a bit of a clownish sort. But he also has a subtle creepy vibe going on, with the way his glasses often obscure his eyes, and how this only makes the pearly-white, unnecessarily wide grin on his face that much more empty and unsettling. This little bit of eeriness hiding among his cartoonish physique reflects the full extent of his character pretty accurately, as we’ll delve into soon enough.

If nothing else, it's more effective than him having no eyes at all.

GRRRRRRRR FUCK YOU BUNNIES THAT I CAN'T SEE

The Personality: If you've seen my villain reviews, then you'll have gathered that Sonic's rogues aren't known for having much in the way of personality. There are exceptions, but they are indeed the exceptions. More often than not though, whether it's an alien conquerer, an ancient monster, or Dan Green the Recolour, they can be summed up thusly: They're evil, they want to destroy the world, and the heroes stop them because they're evil and want to destroy the world. If they're feeling particularly daring, they might go for a second colour.

Luckily, as if to counter all these cardboard drawings, the central adversary of the franchise makes up for these voids of personality by actually having one. And what a personality it is.

The writers of SatAM looked at this and thought “No, this won't do, there's no character to work with here.”

He really is brimming with comedic charm. Every moment that he's present...

Every moment that he shows off...

Every moment that he basks in his own glory...

Every moment that he unveils a new wicked scheme...

Every moment that he puts his enemies to the test...

Every moment that he challenges the world...

Every moment that he laughs at the world...

Every moment that he lives, nay, every moment that he breathes...

Yes, the man has plenty of humor, and it's part of what makes him so enjoyable and memorable. However, if you think being a clown is all there is to him, then prepare to have your expectations subverted initial assumptions taken in a unexpected direction, because although he puts the goof in goofy, he ALSO puts the “oh...?” in “oh shit”.

For you see, Eggman is by all means the epitome of Laughably Evil, but do not, under any circumstance, take him at face value and write him off as a joke. He is anything but.

For starters, he can swing a planet.

There is a rule of thumb that I personally go by with Eggman’s characterization, one that I believe is an immediate make or break factor in regards to whether or not you understand what makes this villain work. Eggman - when you put all his secondary traits aside - is made up of two prominent halves. There’s the egocentric meme machine that bounces up and down like a kid with his N64 and laughs like Santa... and there’s the monster buried within that remains completely and utterly unrepentant for everything he’s responsible for. This is very important. Despite the character’s simplicity at his core, many writers have failed to grasp this, official writers included, and I for the life of me cannot understand why this is such a recurring problem. Eggman is funny, AND Eggman is evil. Both are equal. When you take away one or the other, you may have a funny character, or you may have an evil character, but you don’t have Eggman. Simple as.

Armchair intellectuals may argue that Eggman’s deeds aren’t that evil, since he tends to be merely callous rather than actively trying to hurt or kill people. Those people are probably the types on TV Tropes who weigh a villain’s evilness and effectiveness purely through the surface-level scale of their goals rather than what they actually do to achieve them. While it is true that Eggman tends to be more apathetic about the aftermath of his actions, that doesn’t - and shouldn’t - negate how dangerous he is. It shouldn’t negate what he’s capable of. It shouldn’t negate how far he’s willing to go. And it shouldn’t negate the consequences and casualties that can and do result from his many schemes.

Seriously, think about this for a second. If you confronted Eggman about his current plan to... I dunno, make a water park in Africa or some shit, and you informed him that there has been unexpected mass suffering as a result of this, how do you think he would truly feel about that? What do you think he would actually say to that?

Spoiler: No fucks.

If anything, that he “merely” doesn’t care either way as long as he gets what he wants is more uniquely horrific and deplorable than if he were a generic baddie who committed his evulz specifically for evulz’s own sake and nothing more. At least you’re inadvertently acknowledging that other people’s lives have value when you act one-dimensionally gleeful over ending them, but when your immediate response to the side-effect of a million potential deaths and environmental disasters is “Oh well, fuck ‘em, Eggmanland time baybeeee”, that’s a new level of cruelty.

Besides, even in the Genesis era, he was carpet bombing Angel Island...

“Good thing I have this shield. Sucks to be this forest!”

And he’s only gotten worse since then, indulging in such acts as going full suicide bomber with a missile, after his initial plot to destroy and rebuild Station Square through the means of Chaos and the Egg Carrier didn’t work out...

But don’t worry, he kept it lighthearted by making it look like a penis.

Making one of Sonic’s friends go insane with power against their will, forcing the Blue Blur to put them down personally...

It’s ironic, cause he’s metal. Or do I have to awkwardly explain the joke two more times before I’m a proper YouTuber?

Capturing thousands of innocent aliens, and forcefully converting them into mindless beasts...

I’m pretty sure I saw Alfred Molina conduct this experiment one time.

He even removed the heroes’ collective IQs so that he could shoehorn a cliffhanger on an already terrible game.

Thanks, cunt.

And honestly? When it comes to Sonic and chums at least, Eggman does let out a more openly sadistic side now and then. Need I mention that time when the doctor forced Sonic and two random buddies to make their way through a trap-infested island of his own creation? Not for the sake of nabbing Chaos Emeralds or anything of the sort mind you, he just wanted the blue motor mouth to suffer.

Images you can hear.

To make matters even worse, as befitting of his manchild tendencies, he’s ridiculously petty. How petty? Petty enough to abduct a little girl’s mother for no other reason than because Cheese completely trivialized his forces the girl was friends with Sonic and helped participate in the latest kicking of his own ass.

He only picked Vanilla because there was no Strawberry.

But at least his captives can admire the sheer variety that their captor has to offer. One of the greatest things about the doctor's style is that anything goes. With all due respect to Bowser, he tends to stick with his fiery castles (although he has been branching out recently), and plenty of other villains in gaming tend to be similarly stuck in their ways when it comes to tastes. Eggman, on the other hand, will create all sorts of fortresses and reside anywhere on the planet and beyond. It can be in the sky, in space, somewhere hot, somewhere cold, under the sea, in a circus... and every now and then, he might combine some of them together and thensome. So long as it's even vaguely mechanical in some way, his ground rules have already been ticked off.

Hang on a minute...

You know what else Eggman is? Relentless.

Persistence is a quality that most villains by their very nature share, lest they cease to be an effective antagonist. But once again, Rrrrrrrobotnik maxes out more than any other, and will often go to insane lengths to keep the current plan going, or if not that, then to spite Sonic.

Exhibit A: Sonic 3 & Knuckles, in which the grand finale consists of the madman throwing a gravity-shifting contraption your way, busting out a Kaiju-sized robo, escaping with the Master Emerald after his defeat, continuing to escape even after the Death Egg has been thoroughly destroyed, getting chased through the asteroid fields in space by Super Sonic, and only finally going down when the escape craft and the piloted mech controlling the escape craft are down. And all of this came after a grand adventure where, among other things, he destroyed an entire level just to kill you.

There are immortal omnipotents that put up less of a challenge.

“Looks like it’s time for Plan... *checks paper*... F.”

His relentlessness also reveals another side of the doctor that is simultaneously admirable and terrifying: He bows to no one. No one. Doesn’t matter who it is. Doesn’t matter how powerful they are. Doesn’t matter how much the odds are stacked against him. If another villain were to demand that he cower before them, the scientist would laugh and show through physical demonstration that this is not the way the egg rolls. Unless he’s absolutely unable to do so, he will give it his all every time, and even if he can’t, he’ll use his crafty mind to find some other way to get around the issue. You can beat him in battle, you can foil his plans, but you absolutely cannot break his resolve.

“Dad said it’s my turn to play with the Ruby. I know this, because I’m your dad.”

What about his relationship with those who actually serve him? Specifically, his own robots? Well for the most part, he treats them like absolute crap, what with verbally abusing them at every corner and being all too willing to go full Vader on them the moment they mess up. He IS capable of expressing fondness and giving praise to his more successful creations, like with Metal Sonic and Gamma, but even then, it’s a roundabout way of praising himself, since he’s the one who made them what they are. So basically, you’re only valuable to him if you make him look good.

Gaming in the Clinton Years in a nutshell.

And as for Sonic? Yeah, like with any legendary and long-lasting hero/villain dynamic, it’s obvious that Eggman has some degree of begrudging respect for his opponent. But if you think this respect would dissuade him from actually going through with his ambitions of rulership...

As the hedgehog’s apparent demise in Sonic Adventure 2 proves, as well as his defeat at the hands of Infinite and the subsequent six months of brutal conquest in Sonic Forces, Eggman is dead serious about his goals. If you think he’d get bored after conquering the world, he would simply expand his resources and have a crack at conquering the rest of the universe. When he says he hates that hedgehog, I’m inclined to believe that he means it, and although he may enjoy his “games” with Sonic to an extent, I also can’t see him wanting to remain stuck on square one forever.

If this were Sonic X, he’d just grieve.

By the way, the scene above? Undeniable proof that for all the doctor’s boasting, he’s not actually lying or exaggerating when he prides himself on his brilliance. Because when you get past his goofy exterior, when you look beyond the occasional, relatively minor mistake (*glares at IDW*), you’ll see that... yes. He IS brilliant. And not just in the science department either, although his countless robots and strongholds over the years are no doubt a testament to his credentials there. While he may prefer to go in big and bold, he can also be shrewd with his strategies when he wants to be.

Sonic’s aforementioned near-death experience, for example, was the result of Eggman turning the heroes’ own cunning plan on its head by being one step ahead of them. And in Sonic Unleashed, he lured his enemy into a trap, culminating with him cancelling out Super Sonic.

“...and pay the price for your Werehog gameplay...”

And after all those years of struggling, he finally got a giant monster under his complete control. “But he had help!”, you say? Yeah, from himself.

Did Flynn sleep through all this...?

Much like his inner nature as an evil bastard, Eggman's effectiveness is likewise commonly underestimated by writers. Yes, he occasionally makes mistakes. Yes, he occasionally overlooks details. Yes, he occasionally lacks foresight. But he is NOT stupid. A hero is only as good as their villain after all, and if Eggman is portrayed as a bumbling fool, then how can Sonic be a truly great hero? Eggman is humorous, sinister, and when the chips are down, competent.

...Did I mention that he's also a master Olympian?

The Execution: There's no surprises here. You knew from the moment you saw this review that my stance wasn't going to be anything less than 100% fanboy adoration. In that respect, this section almost feels redundant, because there's only so many ways I can say “Dr. Eggman is the fucking shit and I'm eternally grateful to Mr. Ohshima for bringing this absolute masterpiece into our world” without it getting repetitive. So to cap this review off, I'm going to very briefly compare his portrayals in other media, and explain why they tend to not be as good as the original SEGA Eggman.

“Cause they’re not balanced, right?” you ask. “Cause they veer too far in a particular direction? You're so predictable,” you add. To that I say:

1. Yeah, basically.

2. ...S-Shut up...

3. While the conclusion may be obvious, it's nonetheless important because as I mentioned previously, despite how straightforward this villain is, writers seem absolutely intent on not getting the point. There are loads of villains out there who share Eggman's talent of mixing hilarity and evil together with a bow of competence on top. Two of those villains are among the most famous supervillains of all time, in fact. You might have heard of them.

Joker can do it just fine. Green Goblin can do it just fine. And plenty of others can do it just fine. So why is it such an issue with Eggman? What is it about a round body and a long moustache that gets people to think “No, this guy is absolutely incapable of being comedic and threatening at the same time, no question, end of.” Is it because he’s a more cartoony franchise? Well, that can't be the case, because even Mario has a couple of beloved examples. Fawful, anyone? How about Dimentio? Cackletta? King Boo? K. Rool? Hell, you could even count Bowser himself depending on the portrayal.

Anyway, the point is, writers tend to miss the mark for one reason or another. With Sonic X for example, he wasn't too bad in the beginning, but as the show went on, he became exactly the toothless non-villain that many people misjudge him as. We all know that scene where he berates Black Narcissus for harming their captives (not for pragmatic reasons mind you, he genuinely took issue with the act on moral grounds, even though his own hands weren’t exactly clean either), but even before that point, he was doing such things as healing an injured Sonic without an ulterior motive, not taking any opportunity whatsoever to start conquering Sonic's world because he was pining for Sonic's attention, and being the Jiminy Cricket to Chris Thorndyke's Pinocchio. Why they thought the goddamn villain should be the moral conscience of this show remains an unanswered question, but at least it no longer influences how he's portrayed in the games.

Then you have the IDW comic, which is a similar tale of starting off decent and then careening wildly into the abyss, but for different reasons. Initially, he was built up to be in-line with his competent, foresight-packed self from Forces, with his inevitable return being met with dread, and a delightfully devilish scheme to match when he finally did so. But somewhere along the way, Ian Flynn thought that Eggman coming back from his amnesiac period and returning stronger than ever with a new minion and a deadly virus wasn't enough to up the stakes... so they decided to “up the stakes” by turning both the doctor and his new minion into massive imbeciles so as to justify their plot getting hijacked by the Deadly Six, a move so predictable yet infuriating that it got even me to turn against the Six. And the reason the Six got invited in-universe is because Starline decided he didn’t like being unique and devolved into Snively 2.0 behind Eggman’s back. All this from the alleged “best writer” for the series...

Yeah, same.

And then you have the Boom version, which shares basically the same issues as Sonic X but in a more mundane fashion. It's easier to dismiss because it's a comedy-centric show and his redesign makes it easier to separate him from mainline Eggman, and I'll gladly admit that he does have a lot of genuinely funny lines that redeem him a little bit. But yeah, too much of not being a true villain for my tastes.

Now this isn't to say that there haven't been portrayals in other media that are up there with the original. The versions that I consider better off than the ones above include...

- The OVA Eggman is pretty faithful all things considered, aside from his romantic feelings for Sara, which feels slightly off since the idea of Eggman loving anyone other than himself is incredibly unrealistic at best. But it doesn't actually soften or undermine his deviousness, so I'm willing to let it slide for an alternate take. Especially since he gave us the best Metal Sonic out there.

- AoStH is far from a perfect show, but there's a reason why even its detractors tend to treat its version of Robotnik like a national treasure. Admittedly most of that is because of the legendary Long John Baldry and the endless memes associated with this incarnation, but despite hailing from a comedy-focused show like Boom Eggman, this Robotnik still had a lot of legitimately dangerous moments, more than you'd think.

- And of course, Jim Carrey's Robotnik in the Sonic movie is just... *chef's kiss*

So obvious aesop though it may be, but you see what the more effective portrayals have in common, I assume?

Granted, this also isn't to say that SEGA Eggman himself has had a perfect track record. The decade's worth of upstagings and backstabbings by other villains should be enough of a counterpoint to that claim, and I've also made it clear now and then that I take issue with certain games regarding what they do with the doc, no matter how revered they may be by other fans. Sonic Adventure 2, for instance. I praised the fake emerald scene, and I do sincerely believe that he has a number of other badass moments in that game, but because Shadow was playing him like a fool the whole time, I can't help but have a bitter taste in my mouth when I look at the bigger picture.

So close to greatness, yet so far...

So in that case, which game do I think has Eggman's best showing overall? That's not in any way an easy question, but lack of dialogue aside, I'm gonna go with Sonic 3 & Knuckles again, as the classic journey through the sights of Angel Island plays out in a way that highlights just how determined, ruthless, and underhanded he is with carrying out his mission to revive the Death Egg by any means necessary. Other games do win out in other areas - SA1 for how bastardly he is, Forces for how cunning he is, Colours for his hilarious announcements, CD for using the scenery to show the effects of his actions, Mania for not letting the other villain walk all over him - but for the purest essence of the doctor at his cartoony yet competent best, I'd say S3&K is a reasonable bet.

And when it comes to all his many traits, which one do I find the most special one of all? Well again, far from easy to answer, but I think the coolest aspect about him is also one of the most overlooked. Robotnik, despite whatever superhuman qualities he may occasionally unveil, is for all intents and purposes a regular guy with a big brain. This might make him appear unimpressive when compared to your average Final Fantasy villain and the like, but if anything, it paints him in a more flattering light than expected, because he doesn't even need to be on their level to still be on the radar. It's easy to be a big bad threat when you're an ancient demon or an almighty god-like being, and you only have to wave a hand to cause armageddon. But when you're just Some Guy™ going up against superpowered opponents, meaning you have to earn your threat level the hard way, and you prove to be a challenge every step of the way regardless, because you're just THAT much of a genius... that's fucking awesome, no other way to put it.

And you know what else is awesome? You may not like Eggman, and you don’t have to like him, but like it or not, he is directly and indirectly responsible for a vast majority of the coolest and most loved moments and aspects of this franchise.

The opening to Unleashed? Eggman set up the scene.

Shadow running around and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman released him.

Blaze getting involved with Sonic’s world and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman’s half-responsible for that.

Metal Sonic? Eggman made him.

Egg Dragoon? Eggman.

Big Arm? Eggman.

Monkey Dude? Eggman.

That text is missing a blue checkmark.

This review is probably longer than the echidna family tree in Archie at this point, so I better finish it off. If it wasn't obvious from all the paragraphs I've belted out in this post, I'm very passionate about Eggman and the way he’s portrayed. Ever since I got into the Sonic franchise in 2003, I immediately took a liking to the doctor, and to this day, he remains not only my favourite Sonic villain, my favourite Sonic character, but also my favourite character period. Some may find it a weird or lame choice compared to other, “better” characters, but that's the way it is, and I ain't about to change it. I am very unlikely to ever stop enjoying the hell out of this villain, and even if he got irreversibly ruined in some way, I'd still continue to love what he was before that point.

Because yeah, he's not the deepest character ever, but... who cares? Is it not enough that we find something that appeals to us? When I got into Sonic, I was introduced to fantastic games, a likable cast, high quality soundtracks, beautiful worlds, numerous friends on this very site, and of course, the lovely treasure that is my partner. I may not have been with this franchise during the 90's, but it's given me just as much fun, nostalgia, and happiness as those who were. Despite the flawed titles, despite the fandom conundrums, I still love this series.

And I still love this absolute prick.

Crusher Gives Dr. Eggman a: TWO Thumbs Up!

[nxrdist]

𝕺𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝕷𝖔𝖞𝖆𝖑𝖙𝖞||TLK Fic|| FinanxOC||Six

AN: Two updates in a week! I’m on a roll~ And this one’s a long one! Also, I’m trying out a more dynamic form of narrative at this point because there’s more going on than can be learned just through what Tove sees. In light of that there will be more non-Tove centered scenes in the making, but I feel like it makes for a more rich reader’s experience. Please let me know what you think! I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Story Summary:  Tove chose to surrender rather than be killed, after Sigfried was defeated at Beamfleot, giving herself up to the mercy of the Saxons. Thanks to Finan’s intervention, her life is indeed spared and she is brought into Uhtred’s service. With the sting of defeat fresh on her tongue and her new life fighting for the Saxons secured; Tove is left wondering what tricks the Gods have in store for her next.

Words: 5517

At Haesten’s return there was a mixture of celebration and grumbling. Some of the assembled Jarls were more than pleased to have won riches without having to sacrifice any of their men -a thing they were quite wont to avoid whenever possible. However, there were still those who were rather sullen. One such Jarl, Ketill Frodeson, tall and broad of chest with long dark hair was the loudest of the dissenters of the arrangement.

“I have sailed many leagues for my sword to taste Saxon blood! And you -swine- have robbed me,” exclaimed Ketill before turning to the gathered men. “How are we to conquer this land with leader like Haesten? Haesten the spineless. Haesten the lazy.”

There was silence in the hall as Ketill stormed out, the doors slamming soundly behind him. Chatter rose again with his exit. Some of the assembled were angered by the derogatory words and raucous exit while others who knew better of the man’s character were not surprised. It was the latter who reminded their fellows of the moniker Ketill had earned; Ketill the Eager.

Ketill did not simply hunger for gold and silver. Of course, all men wished to be rich but there was more to be won than just that for a man like him. Men like Ketill sought battle -bloody, savage, and ruinous- of the kind that would bring reputation. The highest accolades for any Viking were won with reputation. For those were the ones who the great poets sang their songs about. Those who had it were the men that others followed. And so there would be no convincing Ketill to stay.

That same day Ketill railed his men and instructed them to ready the ships for them to leave on the morrow. There was not much for them to do other than the gathering of provisions and checking the ships readiness. All three ships were of Danish make with long oak timbers high prowed and adorned with different beast heads. When the sun rose the next morning, they were ready to set sail. The ships had been recaulked, ropes stored, planks inspected, and oars waxed with great efficiency. Their only minor delay was a wasted solicitation from Haesten entreating Ketill to reconsider. Dismissing him out of hand, Ketill hopped aboard his ship and they sailed.

The sum of their company was one hundred and twenty men between three ships for an even crew of forty per vessel. Once they were at sea Ketill shared his planned destination with the men at oars with a great level of fervor. Harald Bloodhair landed some ways to the south of them and was spreading word of his intent to form a Great Army who would harry and vanquish the King Alfred in Wessex. It was even said that he had a witch as part of his force; a seer called Skade. She was even rumored to be such a great beauty that to look upon her was to want her though she had eyes for no other than Bloodhair himself. Harald had been drawing forces all winter for his plotted assault. With his abandonment of Haesten it only made sense for Ketill to join with Harald.

 Exhilaration spread through the three ships like wildfire; though, there was one man among the crew whose gladness was unmatched. A stocky axe man pulled his oar with a renewed vehemency, Halvar Ulfson. Sharing the bench with Halvar was another Dane called Geir who Halvar knew in passing. Noting the grin on Halvar’s bearded face, Geir nudged the dark-haired man.

“Do you think the witch is as beautiful as they say?” Geir asked.

Halvar scoffed. “I care not for a witch who may or may not speak for the Gods.”

Dismayed, Geir’s expression faltered a moment. “They say her hair shines with their light…”

“Perhaps Harald will let you hump her,” Halvar snickered.

Geir rolled his eyes. “Then what is that look on your face?”

“Aside the prospect of glory in battle? Riches to take home to Denmark?” Halvar’s tone was incredulous.

Geir prompted Halvar to continue with a nod.

“My brother. Not by blood, but of battle… He sailed to meet Harald when I joined Ketill in Frisia.”

The look on Geir’s face revealed his understanding as he glanced at the man seated on his other side.

Several days later they came into sight of Harald Bloodhair’s camps when the sun was highest in the sky. Sighting them, centuries sent messengers to the camp to fetch their Jarls and by the time Ketill’s vessels reached the shallows a party was there to meet them. They were greeted warmly by the large Dane who had come to meet them as they disembarked. He grinned broadly at Harald and embraced him warmly. Harald then addressed the newly arrived men in a booming voice.

“Is that the banner of Ketill Frodeson I see?” boomed a large Dane with thick dark hair.

“It is my friend!” Ketill yelled back from his place at the steering platform.

“Come ashore!” Harald called.

So, they disembarked, Ketill was the first to make land as the crews ran the ships aground. Harald surveyed them until Ketill came to his side.

“You have abandoned Haesten then?” Harald asked with a broad grin.

“I will not speak of that milksop,” Ketill bit out.

“Relax my friend! I will not question you,” Harald responded in an effort to quell him. “Come drink with me. We have so much to speak on!”

Ketill have an affirmative nod and his posture relaxed some. Bloodhair clapped him hard on the shoulder grinning again. Then he turned to Ketill’s men.

“You are most welcome my friends! The Gods smile on your coming. We are glad to welcome you to our army! Please eat and drink you must be weary.”

The warriors cheered heartily. Bloodhair put an arm around the slightly shorter man and led him away to his tent. Taking it as their dismissal the men dispersed themselves to make camps of their own and rest after having rowed many days to reach the place. Halvar followed along with some others to an open area where they could pitch themselves tents to sleep under. To the practiced Vikings it was a simple task which was finished with haste being that their desire for fresh food and ale was paramount.

Food was shared freely with the newcomers and Halvar talked and ate with several old friends whom he had not known would be there. With the afternoon waning into evening Halvar began to wonder how he had not yet come across the one individual whom he had been certain to find. He had not seen his best friend in months and sorely regretted parting with him in Frisia. Finally, just as the evening fires were being lit Halvar came across someone who pointed him in the direction that Kåre Ødgerson had last been seen.

Dark fell before Halvar reached the other side of the encampment to find Kåre gnawing a chicken thigh in front of a fire. From his vantage Halvar only see him in profile, but the slight upturn nose and sleek cornsilk blonde hair were unmistakable. Grinning guilefully to himself, Halvar ducked behind a barrel of ale and scooped up a small stone from the ground. In one quick smooth motion, he peaked up over the barrel, lobbed the rock at Kåre’s turned back and ducked back behind the barrel. There followed the sound of a brief scuffle and a few shouted words of anger.

“Hey! I wasn’t me alright?! It came from over there,” said one man.

“You had better not be having a laugh,” Kåre responded irritably.

Halvar crouched waiting until Kåre was about to come around the side of the barrel to stand. Startled Kåre’s hand went to the hilt of the sword that hung at his waist. Nevertheless, it only took a moment for him to recognize his friend and in doing so he immediately swung a punch at Halvar’s shoulder.

“What in the hel did you do that for!” he exclaimed.

“Keeping you on your toes?” Halvar offered with a laugh.

Kåre swept forward and embraced his best friend in a crushing hug. “You lousy shit.”

“Aw he missed me,” Halvar called over Kåre’s shoulder at his companions who sat by the fire chuckling.

“Come and eat,” Kåre offered.

“As long as you’ve got ale.”

“Of course!”

And Kåre guided him over to the fire where he sat with two companions. The two men were familiar to Halvar and he greeted them warmly. Erik and Arne had been part of Kåre’s crew when Halvar parted from them in Frisia to sail with Ketill and meet Haesten. Arne offered Halvar a piece of chicken with hard bread and a cup of ale which he accepted with thanks even though he had ate only hours ago.

“What news of the Jarl Haesten?” Kåre asked eyes alight with humor.

Halvar huffed and moved to bump his shoulder hard against his friend’s. “You know what news. Seeing as I am here not with him.”

“Oh, I know,” said Kåre a purposeful smirk spreading across his face. “I would hear you say it though. It is quite a thing -to so often be right.”

“Alright you damn bastard,” Halvar rolled his eyes. “He treated with the Saxon dogs. Gold and priests in exchange for peace…for a time at least.”

The laugh Kåre gave at his friend’s admittance was loud enough that Erik and Arne looked up briefly from their own conversation in question. Kåre waved them off with ease. A frown marred Halvar’s face and he stared down into the dirt. Eventually Kåre subsided and patted his companion consolingly on the back .

“Perhaps the gold I would have taken,” Kåre admitted. “Priests? No, never.”

“An affront to the Gods,” supplied Halvar moodily.

“Did I not tell you to stay when Ketill made his intentions to join Haeten clear? He is a pitiful and gutless coward. The way he abandoned the Thurgilsons at Beamfleot…” An expression of rage flitted across Kåre’s face before he composed himself. “But who was I to stop you. You are your own man.”

Halvar sighed raising his eyes to meet Kåre with an exasperated look. Cautiously, the elder of the two considered how or whether he ought to tell his fellow of the full encounter that had taken place prior to their abandoning Haesten. Surely, he ought to on account that they could likely be facing the Dane-slayer in battle at some point. The momentary flash of temper he had just seen gave Halvar pause though.

“You did tell me,” he assented, brightening a bit he continued. “And I told you then, perhaps I needed a break from looking at your ugly mug every day. You scare away all the women.”

Kåre snorted indignantly. “My friend, I think you are mistaken! Women love me.”

“Do they?” Halvar’s eyebrows rose high on his forehead as he spoke. “Is that why your lip was bloodied when we departed home? Igna has finally grown wise and tossed you out?”

Shaking his head Kåre chuckled. “She would never do such a thing.”

“Aye, she would not,” granted Halvar. “Ridiculous, truly, but she loves you far too much.”

“And I her.” Kåre’s expression softened.

Both men lapsed into a companionable silence and were contented to drink from their cups for a time. Kåre watched Halvar picking at his chicken. It seemed to him that his friend was troubled by something which he was reticent to speak on. In the end Kåre broke the peace.

“What bothers you?” He asked.

“At the negotiations…I thought I saw a ghost,” Halvar said grimly.

Finan stared unseeing at the seat across from him which was usually occupied by Tove. After her ill-tempered mood during their journey back he had thought it best to give her some time, though a night in her own bed appeared to have cured that. She had turned up the following day to train with a smile and her normal relaxed demeanor. He assumed all that had caused her previous temperamental behavior was travel weariness. An understandable thing which had been easily brushed aside by all.

Thinking her back to her usual self, Finan had expected to see her at the tavern that evening as they often congregated there when the days’ work was done. When Tove did not make an appearance that night or any of the four nights after, he truly started to suspect something was wrong. Of course, it was not unlike her to take time to herself occasionally, but he had hardly seen her outside of training and patrol since their return -and that was decidedly not normal. Even so, she gave no outward indication that anything was amiss other than her newfound aversion to anything sociable. Still, Finan suspected and he was not the only one.

Just the previous evening Uhtred had commented upon her elusiveness mentioning also that Tove had not visited Gisela since their return. The eyes of Sihtric and Osferth had immediately gone to Finan as if he would surely know the reason, but all he could offer them was a shrug. Though no further comment was made on the issue he decided then that if she did not come the next night, he would seek her out.

“‘Ave ye seen Tove since ye came in from patrol?” Finan looked up, directing his question at Osferth.

The former monk paused midbite thoughtfully. “Now you mention it, I can’t say I have.”

Finan exchanged a significant look with Sihtric. He had confided in the half-Dane his plan during training that day. Sihtric had noted that perhaps he was overreacting but conceded that if she did not show then it would not be unreasonable to check on her. Finishing his bite, Osferth glanced between the two a hint of his confusion touching his expression.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Osferth added when no explanation was forthcoming. “She probably just wanted a quiet evening.”

“Another one?” Finan challenged.

Osferth shrugged noncommittally. “Women do strange things at times do they not?”

The Irishman sighed. “I’m goin’ to check.”

Neither of his companions made any protest as Finan got to his feet and made for the exit. Once he had left Osferth turned his attention back to Sihtric who did not look at all bothered by Finan’s behavior.

“Is Finan well?”

Sihtric snorted. “I am beginning to think our Irishman feels someway about her.”

Osferth furrowed his brow but did not question the assertion. Shortly their conversation turned to other topics as they waited for Uhtred to arrive. Their Lord had taken to joining them later in the evenings after the children had gone to sleep.

Finding her turned out to be more of a task than Finan had anticipated. He had gone directly to her home where he knocked on the door for several minutes before a neighbor tartly informed him, she was not there. With that hope dashed, he sought out the few places he knew she frequented for solitude. Checking first at the wharf where she had given him the rune a month before, then the old Roman ramparts where he’d seen her staring out into the countryside, and on his last limb the stables as occasionally she visited the horses.

Frustration mounting, Finan exhaled a deep sigh and kicked the dusty stable floor. A quiet cough from the doors caught his attention and he looked up. The stable hand stood at the threshold carrying a pail of oats looking a tad surprised to see him there.

“Evening,” said the young man.

Finan observed the lad for a moment. It was likely the boy has been there all day and was just finishing his evening chores. If Tove had been to the stable since returning from patrol with Osferth and the others he would’ve probably seen her.

“Has a woman been here?” Finan asked abruptly.

Blinking, the stable boy shook his head.

“Blonde, fair height, ...pretty face?” He paused.

Again, the young man shook his head looking less surprised and more confused. “No one like that.”

“You’d know her,” Finan pressed, annoyance rising. “The Danish shield maiden.”

He flushed. “Ohh, she came in with the last patrol...but her stallion isn’t in his stall. Coulda gone back out?”

Thanking the boy shortly, Finan rushed past him in the direction of his horse Gúthwine’s stall and quickly set about tacking up the steed. When he had finished, he led Gúthwine from the stall, past the stable boy who’d since resumed his chores, and out into the street. Swinging himself onto the stallion’s back, Finan steered the beast towards the gate only stopping briefly there to question the guards. They were more helpful than the stable boy and were able to indicate to Finan the small wood Tove had headed towards.

He rode hard and reached the trees just as twilight was approaching. The wood was not thick, but still he couldn’t see far into the trees with the fading daylight. Up to that point Finan had been merely frustrated by his search for her, but as Gúthwine trotted along the edge of the wood he wondered what brought her there in the first place. Wandering the woods at night wasn’t particularly safe even if one knew them well, though with the light fading there was hardly time to dwell on the matter. So, without any further delay, he dismounted and tied his reigns to a nearby tree. Gúthwine gave a snort as he watched Finan work. Upon completing his task Finan patted the stallion’s shoulder reassuringly.

“I’ll be back. Got to fetch our friends,” he murmured.

Twilight descended into dusk and Finan started to wish he’d thought to bring a torch. It was too late for that though as he’d already walked for almost ten minutes into the trees. Silently he continued on for another five or so minutes until he clearly heard the sound of slow-moving water over rocks. Having no other apparent direction, he followed the sound to locate the flowing spring. As he came to the edge of the bank Finan saw a flicker of firelight from the corner of his eye and turned towards it. From his vantage point, it appeared to be a little less than two hundred meters off.

Full night descended on the wood as Finan made his way toward the beacon of light. Tove’s horse -Alvis- startled as he approached, pawing at the ground, and watching him closely. However, the muffled sound of Alvis’s hooves did not cause Tove to stir. Instead she sat shoulders slouched apparently staring deeply into the flames.

Finan purposefully made his steps louder as he approached her from behind. “Tove?”

Genuine shock flared in her tone as Tove whipped around to face him. “Finan!”

His step wavered. “Fancy seein’ you here.”

“What are you doing here?” Her brow creased, a hint of accusation in her words.

“Oh ya know,” Finan began again pacing toward her coming to a stop within arm’s length of where she sat. “Thought ta take an evenin’ stroll, perhaps even happen upon one of the fairfolk.”  

Tove snorted in consternation. With their closer proximity the frustration in her eyes was plainer to see, Finan offered her a placating smile. When she did not soften right away, he sighed raising his hands in supplication.

“Perhaps na’, it would be a sight though, wouldn’t it?”

Tove made no dissent as Finan lowered himself onto the ground next to her. Finally, after a moment of weighty silence where she stared at him enigmatically, Tove nodded her assent and turned back to the fire.

“And what would you venture to ask of them?” she asked softly. Her eyes still fixed upon the flickering flame.

Humming as he feigned deep thought, Finan pursed his lips, though when he spoke none of the humor of his performance tinged his words.

“I would ask to know what troubles my dear friend.”

Instantly her head snapped up and she fixed him with a scathing look. “Could you not simply ask? To risk guileful nature of the fae would be a folly.”

“Difficult to manage when they are so distant.” His wry smile had withered measurably under her gaze.

Tove’s cheeks flushed at Finan’s words though it was mostly hidden by the glare of the flame. Biting the inside of her lip she looked away again suddenly feeling quite trapped by his intense mahogany eyes. Had she not averted her eyes, she surely would have told him every thought she’d had over the past several days and the knowledge of that unsettled her further.

Most of her thinking revolved around Halvar, his disgust when he named Uhtred the Dane-slayer, and the flush of anger when she had defended him; all of which left a bitter taste in her mouth which was determined to linger. She’d had no concern in the moment over the fact it was an apt title -despite Uhtred’s disdain for it- only that her Lord had been insulted. Uhtred was her oath lord even if he fought the Danes. Halvar being honorable as she thought he was should understand that. But he didn’t seem to.

Altercation with Halvar aside, Tove could not help but agonize over what had also not been said or rather asked. She had not even thought to ask after her twin and the guilt of that weighed on her consciousness like led. Halvar told her they all thought her dead. Kåre would still think it. Yet, she had not spared the moment to ask after his health -or even that of his child. What kind of person did that make her?

From his place beside her Finan eyed what he could see of her partially obscured face with interest. When she turned away a few locks of hair had fallen from behind her ear and effectively hid most of her profile from his view. If finding her far out in the wood were not enough proof, he had been correct in his assumption that something was off, her reaction to his query was. The confirmation was bittersweet though as it shed no light on the source of her dismay.

Feeling doubtful that she would speak again without his prompting, Finan took a moment to search for a lighter topic of conversation.

“Uhtred mentioned Gisela had asked after you.”

Patiently, he waited for her to respond nothing the slight downward tilt of her lips.

Finally, she did and it was but a whisper. “She should be focusing on the baby.”

“Perhaps I am not the only one who is concerned for a friend?” Finan replied in the same volume.

Tove turned her face a fraction toward him and Finan swore he saw the shimmer of unshed tears with his limited view of her eyes. It seemed his attempt to lighten the mood had failed. At a loss, Finan asked the question he truly sought an answer to.

“Tove, what are ye doin’ out here?”

She inhaled deeply possibly to hide the sniffle he thought he heard. “Being questioned by an Irishman who seems to have quite a habit of intruding on my peace.”

Finan frowned.

Turning to survey him fully, Tove’s expression was filled with tell tale signs of instant regret. “I don’t know why I said that…”

“You’re upset.”

She nodded. “Still…I am sorry.”

“There is no need to be.” Finan reached over to rest a hand lightly on her knee.

“Thank you.” Once again, her voice was barely a whisper however she did manage a weak smile. “You are a true friend and I appreciate you.”

Something in Finan’s chest clenched uncomfortably at her words, but nonetheless he smiled in return.

After a time Finan convinced Tove they ought to return to the city arguing there was no reason to sleep upon the ground when their beds were so near. Having no fair defense against it, she yielded. They doused the fire with water from the spring and he rode behind her on Alvis as he picked his way through the trees to where Finan had left Gúthwine.

Upon reaching the grey stallion, Tove brought Alvis to a stop so that Finan could dismount. Despite the fair weather that night a chill ran through her with the sudden loss of his assuring presence at her back. Before that night she had not fully realized what a comfort he was to her. And as she watched him climb into his own saddle, she almost called to stop him, but then the moment passed and Tove had managed to stay her words.

Once he was seated Finan gestured for her to lead the way and they were off. Neither spoke as they rode at a leisurely pace back toward Lunden. Their silence was companionable as both seemed to be lost within their own thoughts though as they came within a hundred meters of the gate Tove broke it.

“Do you have siblings?” Tove asked suddenly.

Finan hesitated in his answer, but eventually he said, “Yes -a brother.”

“What is he like?”

He snorted. “He is an arrogant turd.”

“Not like you at all then,” Tove said dryly, though her eyes sparkled with humor.

“And what of your brother?” Finan asked.

“Kåre,” she supplied and Finan nodded. “He is…strong -a fierce protector- but also quite funny when he is not so busy being serious.”

Finan nodded along absently as she spoke staring off into space. “Sounds a bit like Lord Uhtred.”

Tove chuckled. “In that way, I suppose he is.”

Commotion was spreading through the camp with news that Bloodhair’s witch had made a prophecy of Alfred’s imminent death. When the news reached him, Kåre was in the middle of a duel with one of his subordinates. The man who carried the news had been present when Skade emerged from the wood to proclaim to Bloodhair what she had seen. Instead of waiting around to find out the truth of it, he abandoned his sparring partner and set off to find Bloodhair because surely this was a sign they were to move. At Bloodhair’s tent he found several other Jarls were already there including the newly arrived Ketill who was speaking animatedly to the group.

Eyeing the older Jarl with some interest, Kåre surveyed those present. Other than Ketill those he recognized were Jari, Einar, and Bjørn. Then there was Harald who was listening to Ketill as he spoke about his hopes for their coming victory. Kåre waited for a moment so Ketill could finish speaking before he interrupted.

“It is true then?”

Everyone’s attention turned to Harald at Kåre’s words, as a number of those present had only just arrived, to hear confirmation of what they had been told. 

“It is. The Saxon King will die,” said Harald triumphantly. “At my sword.”

A soft murmuring began to rise as the assembled Jarl’s and captain’s exchanged glances excitedly.

“We must strike first!” Ketill asserted. “They know we are here. Surely they are already amassing their forces.”

Harald nodded in agreement.

“From what you have told me of Haesten, he will not aid us?” It was phrased as a question, but the words carried the air of a statement.

“He will not,” spat Ketill.

“And how many horses do we here possess?” Harald asked.

“No more than two thousand.” Someone answered.

Harald was thoughtful for a moment. “It is enough.”

Kåre felt inclined to disagree but was reticent to do so. Two thousand was more than enough for effective and aggressive raiding, but he had never fought the Saxons. All his previous raiding had been in the Irish land where the fighting was bitter and difficult. However, he had been drawn to Wessex though by the prospect of a Great Army which might finally conquer the Saxons. Seeing as no others objected, he supposed perhaps two thousand was enough for an initial assault.

From there debate began over who would be staying behind and that brought a much more heated debate. Harald began by taking account of how many fighters they had amassed in total -which was at an estimate near five thousand. Once that was settled, they began to argue over who was to go and who was to stay -protecting the ships and raiding only in the surrounding country for the things they required. It took several tedious hours of bickering to come to a final decision and predictably not everyone was happy with it. Though for Kåre, luck was with him and he had been chosen by Harald to be among the riders considering most of his men already had horses.

He returned to his own camp site that evening with a feeling of anticipation growing in his chest. Kåre called for his second and instructed him to inform their warriors to make ready. Harald was intent on leaving in the morning to begin harrying Alfred’s lands. After packing the few belongings he would require Kåre settled in to sleep.

In the morning Kåre waited by the stallion who had been gifted to him by Tove before she had set out for Beamfleot. She had called him Roar saying that it was a fitting name for his companion in battle as he himself was a fighter worthy of much praise. At the time he had teased her for being so sentimental, but just then he wondered if he had not been grateful enough of the gift. Though he was not able to dwell on the thought for long when Halvar appeared.

Kåre’s expression smoothed to a look of objective calm at the sight of his long-time friend despite the frustration he still harbored over their last conversation. At first, he had of course been overjoyed to hear that his sister still lived, but that she was in the company of the Dane-slayer unsettled him. A part of him was also quite angry though he was unsure of with whom. It would be easy to direct his anger toward Halvar as the messenger and the one who had left her behind; however, nor had Tove deserted the Saxons at Scaepege when she had the chance. So Kåre was left in a strange limbo in regard to the whole ordeal.

“Should you not be with Ketill?” Kåre asked somewhat stiffly when Halvar reached him.

Halvar let out a long-suffering sigh at the mention of the Jarl. “He is intolerable to be around just now.”

Kåre was unable to suppress his chuckle. “I’d imagine so. Abandoning Haesten for his inaction, only to be left behind due to lack of horses.”

“He’ll not stay put,” Halvar commented mildly.

“What makes you say so?”

Halvar only shrugged.

Turning away for a moment, Kåre busied himself checking his saddle bags. He still didn’t really feel like things were quite normal between them. Clearly Halvar felt the same if the tension that hung between them was any indication. Sighing to himself, Kåre spoke again when it seemed Halvar did not intend to.

“I am not angry.”

At first Kåre thought his friend had not heard him over the surrounding din of activity.

“Aren’t you though?” Halvar finally asked.

He conceded. “Perhaps.”

“At me.”

It was not a question. Kåre secured the ties on his bag and turned back to face Halvar. The stockier man’s nose still bore some mild swelling from where Kåre had punched him. He had the good grace to look a shade guilty.

“It isn’t broken,” Halvar supplied.

Kåre nodded.

“I am glad,” he paused before adding with a bit of humor. “Then you would have truly been ugly.”

Breaking out into a grin, Halvar laughed. “Such a bastard.”

Kåre chuckled along with him until they both subsided.

“I am sorry.” He said as the smile faded somewhat from his face. “There was nothing you could have done under such circumstances. I see that now.”

“Well…I suppose I could have suggested to Ketill that we kidnap her?” Halvar joked. “Though, I do not think you would have thanked me for that.”

Kåre shook his head.

“What will you do?” Halvar asked tentatively.

“I can not believe she is loyal to this Saxon as you say,” Kåre said firmly. “So, I will do all that I can to reach her and bring her back safely.”

Halvar’s expression was neutral as he nodded in understanding, but he did not believe it could be done. He had seen the way Tove’s eyes had flashed with anger when she corrected him; though, he was not surprised by Kåre’s resolve. Tove was his sister from birth and they had been close for as long as he had known them. No matter how much he liked her, Halvar was not sure he could forgive aligning herself thus. Objectively, he supposed it was better that Ketill had been instructed to stay close to camp for if he were to meet Tove in battle he would not hesitate.

Feeling the matter resolved, Kåre moved on to lighter topics until warriors started to mount up and they had to say their goodbyes.

 End note about Finan and Tove’s exchange about fairies. I only have a base knowledge in Irish or Norse folklore so I hope I haven’t misrepresented what the common attitude towards talk of fairies/fairy deals would have been at the time. It’s a topic I’ve always wanted to study deeper, but just haven’t gotten around to. Also according to google Gúthwine means “battle-friend” in Anglo-Saxon which I thought was fitting for a war horse. And Alvis means “all-wise” in Norse which seemed like something Tove would call her horse because as I wrote this chapter I started to realize she has a great reverance for them.

taglist; @lauwrite1225​, @queen-manning​, @for-bebbanburg​, @bells3333​, @othermoony​, @iwillboilyourteeth​

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[televisor-reviews]

Everything Of Note I Have To Say About “Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil” Season 4!

As I’m sure you’re aware, the great animated series Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil has recently concluded and I have a ton to say about it... So I made a list!

1. Spoilers...

2. Duh...

3. Before anything, I absolutely loved it! This was the finale this great show really deserved.

4. Let’s start from the beginning: I’ve been watching Star Vs. for a few years now when a good friend of mine recommended it to me. At first I was resistant because the advertising for it at the time was god awful, but luckily I was convinced otherwise and been loving it ever since.

5. The show premiered when I was a teenager, going through all the cliche teen shit. So seeing a show that portrayed the overly dramatic life of a teenager without being one of those stock teen dramas was a good change of pace.

6. In particular, I remember being amazed that it could be so relatable while still being able to have it’s upbeat and fast-paced fantasy/sci-fi action sequences and world while also having a good mixture of mature and juvenile humor. I mean, all of that would seem to work against each other and yet this show made it work in spades.

7. Actually, the way Star Vs. uses it’s fictitious setting to complement its down-to-earth characters while juggling great humor reminds me a lot of a different Disney property: Guardians Of The Galaxy. GOTG, I think, is the perfect film to study if you want to ever write for sci-fi or fantasy because director James Gunn understood that you can have as wild and crazy of a world as you want but you still need to write your characters as genuine as possible. If you don’t, you’ll get something like Avatar (the movie); a film that everyone remembers liking because of the incredible world and even better effects, but no one can name a single character or plot-point. The universe still needs to be grounded by the characters or else it’ll become forgettable and un-relatable. Star Vs., thankfully, does not have this problem. I love the characters, their trials, their tribulations, all because they feel real despite the world in which it takes place.

8. That isn’t to say there isn’t a reason to set a story in a fantastical world or that there isn’t an issue with being too relatable. If anything, the world of the show helps to make it more entertaining, less monotonous, and more unique. Without it, Star Vs. would be another Pretty Little Liars or Zoey 101 or Dawson’s Creek or any other boring teen drama out there. They’re practically identical because they start off too similarly! They all follow around relatively normal teenagers in a relatively normal world with their relatively normal life and god do none of them stand out. So Star Vs. separates itself by still keeping its characters pretty wacky and the universe as crazy as Daron Nefcy’s imagination!

9. Even by a storytelling perspective, this makes more sense because there is objectively more that can be done! By the end of Zoey 101, Zoey and her lame crew basically did everything they could do without jumping the shark too much. In comparison, there are countless adventures Marco and Star could go on even past the series finale.

10. And because the number of future adventures are countless, part of the tragedy of the show ending is that we (the audience) don’t get to experience them alongside these characters we’ve learned to love so much. Keeping that door open leaves a much longer lasting impression on the audience, as apposed to the ending of Zoey 101 in which... wait, what happened again? I don’t remember. Anyways!

11. I love the comedy in this show! From the very beginning, the humor was very lighthearted and yet mature because it had to be. It had to have a tinge of maturity to it because the target audience isn’t little kids like it would be for a show like My Little Pony or SpongeBob. Star Vs., with it’s doomsday atmosphere and constant teen drama, was definitely geared more towards older children/preteens. The ones more likely to watch a show like Gravity Falls or Rick And Morty and this audience will not tolerate childish humor. They can appreciate it sprinkled in here and there but if used too much, they’re taste will sour. This is because as they are maturing to to start maturing into adulthood, there is the natural need to separate from childish things with the added childishness of wanting to totally separate from it. That’s why on The Loud House, a punchline could literally be poop and why that is not something you’d see very often on Star Vs.

12. With that said, the show still needed the humor to be incredibly lighthearted because otherwise this show would be so depressing! The worlds in which these characters live in and know are constantly changing, evolving, and almost blowing up. For Christ sake, many important characters die in this finale! The only one who died in Gravity Falls was the villain and in this, the villain isn’t even one of them! Seeing Marco and Star still be able to crack jokes to one another and making each other laugh keeps spirits high. God knows Hekapoo can’t do that now!

13. Speaking of Marco and Star, I have been a hardcore Starco defender from the very beginning despite the show constantly trying to convince me otherwise! There are so many perfect pairings in this cast that any one of them could’ve worked if Nefcy were top change her mind. If it ended with Star x Tom or Marco x Janna or Star x Janna or Marco x Hekapoo or Marco x Tom or Marco x Kelly it would’ve worked perfectly well.

14. But lets not kid ourselves, it was always going to end with Marco x Star. Their relationship and chemistry is unmatched, they might be the only couple in existence to say a joint line like “With or without magic, we were always meant to be together,” work and come off as not only sincere but true. I don’t even believe in the whole “soul mate” mumbo-jumbo, but I’d be damned if they are not that!

15. I audibly squealed in delight when they finally got together. It was like the build-up of four season culminated in one scene.

16. Though it wouldn’t really surprise me if I was alone in this assessment because I am a sucker for a good romantic movie. I saw La La Land in theaters, I cried at Love, Simon, I actually really love Love Actually. And though I do think Star Vs. pulled off relationships better than most, take my opinion with a grain of salt because the build-up itself was a little grating.

17. I have a huge issue with “will-they, won’t-they” stories! It’s the same issue I had with The Office and Friends and The Big Bang Theory and Sailor Moon and That ‘70s Show and every other show that has this dumb trope! Of course they’ll get together because otherwise I wasted several hours of my life wondering about it! Star Vs. isn’t as bad about this as most others but it’s still there and it’s still annoying.

18. It does this better than most because of three main components: it’s relatively short, we get plenty of Star and Marco being all lovey-dovey with each other once they do get together, and they do have genuine chemistry together. They have so much chemistry that Star’s ex literally told Marco that they were clearly into each other. If only they could’ve avoided the trope.

19. Okay, this next point is a little personal but it did effect my feelings towards this show’s finale so I think it’s kind of important that I mention it. Around the time the Star Vs. was ending, I was just entering my first real relationship and around the time I watched this finale, we lasted long enough that we could start taking the relationship a little bit more seriously. Now before anyone says anything: everything’s going great (she actually made me my header) and I am absolutely still in a honeymoon phase with her. But I think you could imagine how a lovesick teen just entering a serious relationship would be effected by this show that ended with lovesick teens so in love that they’d happily sacrifice themselves for the other.

20. I may or may not have also been high while watching this and that may or may not have effected my viewing experience. Don’t be a narc!

21. I love what this last season did with Ludo. Push away the fact that they somehow keep talking Alan Tudyk into these rolls he clearly does need to do and yet still does a great job at it (did you know he was King Candy in Wreck-It Ralph? Why? Why did he do that? Why is he so good in it? This guy’s casting decisions are so weird). The character of Ludo was a generic comic relief villain (see Doofenshmirtz) but was usually fine if only because he made for a good contrast and was way more interesting compared to Toffee (played by Michael C. Hall, another actor who does not need this job). But season four made Ludo a million times more interesting by showing his obsession with the wand exactly what it is: and unhealthy obsession that he needs to get over. And I like where he’s left by the end, clearly still not doing too great but is making strides to get better. As someone who has known many addicts in my life, this hit home a little.

22. Actually, I think a large part of season four was specifically meant to fix the first two mediocre seasons. Just look at my new favorite episode of the series: Britta’s Tacos. In this episode, Star and Marco find themselves back on Earth after a year of being on Mewni and catching up with all of their friends and seeing what’s changed. Watching this episode, I was reminded that as good as the first couple of seasons were, the latter half of the series was a ton better! The characters, character arcs, stories, everything, everything was better once they went up to Mewni. So seeing them go back to Earth and challenging the writers with rewriting their past characters to be more interesting showed just how much the series has improved. Could you imagine characters as uninteresting as those nerds I don’t even remember the names of being introduced in the much more interesting latter seasons? I couldn’t! So I appreciate that they went back and made sure every character in this show was interesting... except for Toffee, he still sucks.

23. And of course, the character that improved the most, hands down was absolutely Jackie Lynn Thomas! She was as bland and boring as a love interest got and that bothered me from the very beginning. How is it that in a show this imaginative and unique they still felt it necessary to use this tired cliche. So bringing her back, the writers had to do something to make her more interesting and it was apparently really easy. All they had to do was keep the character herself basically the same but now she’s a lesbian. And somehow, just adding that one extra layer made her feel so different, so interesting, so complete. I think that’s what it was, she just felt like an incomplete plot point and giving her a girlfriend completely separates herself from being important to the plot and adds that extra layer to make her seem more finished as a character.

24. I’m actually really surprised by this recent trend of LGBTQ+ characters in kids cartoons. You’d think that of all mediums, kids cartoons would be the last to fully integrate a controversial minority but they’ve been some of the first. Steven Universe really started this trend but I feel like The Loud House was the first to show and say it outright. Star Vs. doesn’t do it that well (and I’m willing to bet that was because of higher-ups over at Disney) but I appreciate the sentiment anyways. They never call Jackie and her girlfriend a couple or show them kissing, the most they do is have them hold hands and though I guess that’s enough, I wish they were able to go further. Whatever, I already wrote about why this representation in kids media is important, go read that.

25. For a while, Star was my favorite character in this show. I just have a real soft-spot for upbeat female badasses (and I am very happy this has become more of a trope recently), I think Janna might’ve taken the throne. It’s not that Star stopped being interesting or anything like that, I just really love Janna and her “Jannanigans”. Plus, I do really like the “cute girl who’s into weird shit” trope too. She’s not my favorite version of this trope (see Raven from 2003′s Teen Titans), but she was always a delight whenever she was on screen.

26. Tom is probably the most obvious example of “boring character was made interesting” that the show has. In the beginning, he was the standard bad boy archetype but, over time, was given more personality and started working off the other characters much better. Sure, he and Star worked great with each other as to be expected, but I think the real standout relationship he had was with Marco. I have never seen bromance as strong as what those two have. Their little musical number at Queen Moon’s cornonation turned talent contest might have been the greatest piece of animation ever made (change my mind). And this I know people agree with me, I cannot exaggerate just how much literally everyone I have ever spoken to loves Marco and Tom. It just works so strangely, it has to come off as genuine.

27. I think the series was supposed to go on for another season. I say this because Kelly was too good of a character to waste like they did! She was a great character with tons of personality and amazing chemistry with Marco that was seemingly building up to something... only to drop the ball at the end. She isn’t given much to do, she doesn’t have a final scene with Marco, she isn’t even given a good ending. The most we got was Ponyhead theorizing what her life would be like just to cheer up Star. If that was all they were going to do with Kelly, that’s just a waste of perfectly good build-up.

28. It’s very strange how on the nose these metaphors in the show got at times while still seeming perfect. I guess it had to be on the nose so that the younger audience could catch on to them but I’m not sure what the’ll do with the knowledge that magic=nuclear power. Also, the monsters kind of changed metaphors, originally they were clearly meant to be Native American stand-ins but later on they kind of changed into African American stand-ins. Not that they’re histories (in America) are all that different but it was a noticeable switch. It’s not like Zootopia where any given animal could represent any number of races depending on the scene in question, this was definitely what Star Vs. was going for and I’m not sure if it totally worked. It didn’t NOT work, I guess.

29. I actually don’t like the whole “blowing up the magic” thing. It was something Star made up in a temper tantrum and goes totally against the theme. The whole time, the show was going on about how important integration is and how “separate but equal” doesn’t work and whatnot. So destroying the only way they know how to travel through different dimensions seems contrary to that point. I get that drastic times need drastic measures but I get the feeling that in a theoretical season five, Star and Marco would work to bring back the magic. Or maybe find a more scientific way to travel through dimensions... like some kind of portal gun. We already know this takes place in the same multiverse as Rick And Morty, it’s not that crazy an idea.

30. Another reason I think there was originally going to be another season is because the whole “Mewmans are humans” thing that came right out of nowhere! I mean, it makes total sense and I’m totally down with this plot point but it seems like that would be a much bigger deal than the characters make it out to be. My god, they don’t even let Marco finish explaining this. How the hell did that cave painting get to Earth if they didn’t run into Glossaryck until they got to Mewni! Explanation please!

31. I wish destroying the magic didn’t also mean killing off Glossaryck and Hekapoo. I don’t really care about any of the other characters literally made out of magic, but those two are just so likable and such fan favorites, it’s just a shame to see them go. Though I do really like that they’re reaction to the whole thing seems to just be a mild shrug. I get the idea that since they’ve lived for millennia which would make them more okay with dying. It’s easier to live a full life if you can’t die.

32. I like how Mina’s story ends: defeated and yet still refusing it. Her whole speech about having good ideas really says something, like these issues will never be fully defeated because everyone thinks that they’re right. It’s a bit more of a bittersweet moral than “bad always loses because they’re bad” but is an important lesson that I think kids need to learn. Especially in this political climate. Good god, just end me!

33. Holy shit, I’m up to 33! My Wakfu one only made it up to 25 and I am nowhere close to done yet!

34. A psychotic part of me really wishes the finale had Star and Marco die in each other’s arms in the Magic Dimension. It’d be the ultimate show of love as they’re sacrificing each other for one another and be the ultimate ending. I mean, what more is there to care about after the main two characters are dead? It’d be very bittersweet and much more emotionally taxing on the audience but it’d also be more classic. Like Romeo and Juliet or Bonnie and Clyde, they’re love was just too strong for this world.

35. With that said, that part of me is absolutely wrong! Having their dimensions merge was clearly what the series was building up to with it’s hopeful tone, the power of love being a big theme, the message of integration, and (of course) the promise they made to Meteora and Hispanic Meteora. It seems so obvious in hindsight and yet I still didn’t see it coming, I guess that’s a sign of a really good plot twist.

36. My god, everyone is such a dick to Queen Moon. Like let her be in love you jackasses. I had such a hard time liking anyone who worked against her (which is why I really like that Hekapoo had reservations on both sides the whole time) and this includes Ex-Queen Moon. I really can’t grasp my mind as to why she thought this was a good idea, it clearly wasn’t from the very beginning. Maybe if the show gave her time to explain herself I’d be singing a different tune but she never really does and I have a hard time forgiving her even after her apology.

37. This is just a reminder that Starco is best ship. Repeat, Starco is still best ship.

38. The ending reminds me of Titanic. I mean, two young lovebirds meeting each other, growing closer, and falling in love all the while a looming threat of destruction and death is above them. The epic scale of their problem being brought down to earth by the almost normal love story happening in the midst of it all. Their ever ready willingness to sacrifice everything for each other. Their world forcing them to cling to each other for protection. The grand scale of everything around them making their love seem grander than it would be without it. Yeah, there are more and probably better examples I could turn to for comparison (Romeo And Juliet, Les Miserables, Spartacus) but Titanic was the first one to come to mind and I’m sure my subconsciousness has a good reason for that.

39. I continue to have problems with this finale but I get the sense that I’m nitpicking because this was still an amazing end to a great show. When I think about this ending, the first word that comes to mind is deserves. This is the ending that the story deserves, that the characters (minus Kelly) deserves, that the show itself deserves. It really is a fantastic finale and I’m so grateful that I got to experience it.

40.

[kvhottie]

Hinata, sports reporter and Kageyama Tobio fanboy, had found one way of dealing with his nearly decade-long crush on someone unattainable: writing fanfiction—the smutty, self-insert, wildly creative kind. It had always been his most guarded secret, and was going to remain that way until…

Olympic volleyball star Kageyama knew almost nothing of the fanfic world. But overnight a babbling, orange-haired reporter changed that when instead of an interview transcript, he sent Kageyama a dirty (and oddly intriguing) draft for a story featuring the two of them.

Rating: Explicit |Pairing: KageHina |Tags: Sports Reporter& Fic writer Hinata/ Volleyball Pro Kageyama, Humor & Smut

**With special guest, Esselle, writing Hinata's fic excerpt

[Ao3]

Hinata’s first crush was through a phone screen.   He was sulking in bed, potato chip crumbs on his chest, and his phone held above his face as he watched the third round of the All Japan Intercollegiate Volleyball Championship. It was part self-torture and part curiosity that lead him to watch these games, since his own team was not participating because of their loss in the Nagoya representative playoffs.   The game was Tokai University versus Chuo University, both powerhouse schools with an equal chance of winning. Hinata was just a first year so all he knew about them was how impossible it was to get into their starting lineup due to a top-notch team of players. But then the Tokai University player introductions scrolled across the screen and he saw it: Kageyama Tobio, principal setter, 1st year.

 Hinata nearly choked on his umaibou. He sat up with a start while coughing and smacking his chest to clear his windpipe, and pressed rewind to make sure he read the caption correctly. But the undeniable and impressive truth was still the same: Kageyama Tobio was the 1st year setter for one of the strongest and most competitive university volleyball teams in Japan. A prodigy. And though normally that would only make Hinata pissed off and hyperaware of his common, un-prodigy self, this time his eyes couldn’t help but follow Kageyama around the court in admiration.   He was beautiful, in like, every sense of that word. He had pitch-black hair that brushed across a smooth face and serious, deep blue eyes. And that body—chiseled in all the right places, Hinata’s favorite assets being his defined pecs, thick legs, round butt, and wide sculpted shoulders. But aside from Hinata’s superficial and ‘he can’t help but be hella gay’ observations, it actually was how Kageyama moved about the court that drew him in. Never wasting a step, Kageyama commanded the court with meticulous precision and unmatched grace. The trust between him and his teammates was palpable in the others’ resilient determination to connect the ball to him, and his perfect repayment of their efforts: he always made sure the ball got to one of their hands in just the right position that maximized each of their strengths. Hinata could tell that it was Kageyama’s ability to flawlessly set the ball to them, repeatedly and without fail, which got him his spot on the team.   Watching one game lead to watching all the Tokai games in the championship, which lead to watching all the games in existence since Kageyama joined the team: it had become a full-blown obsession. So this is what it was like to have a favorite sports player…though Hinata’s interest in him was tainted with something beyond a simple appreciation of his athleticism. He was grateful for Tokai’s dedicated stream of online content, providing coverage of every official and practice game, as well as behind the scene moments at practice and a few interviews with the starting line up. Hinata watched every video, sometimes multiple times, and keep a close eye on Kageyama’s expressions and movements. His favorite was a short interview where Kageyama was asked what it was like to be the main setter as a freshman.   His usually disinterested expression broke into a teensy smile, eyes lighting up, and he said, “My senpai always get the ball to me and I can set for them at every game. It’s fun.” And then he walked off.   The video was a mere minute but Hinata never tired of re-watching it. He wanted that smile, as tiny and brief as it as, engrained in his memory. He thought he had seen all of Kageyama’s expressions—anger, smugness, annoyance, exhaustion, and a hybrid of a few of these—but this one, this one was so rare and pure it made Hinata want to kiss him. But he couldn't, unfortunately, so he threw his head back on his pillow and closed his eyes, trying to imagine what that would be like. At first it was innocent like this, just imagining his lips or his laughing face. But with time his imagination gradually seeped with lust, waking him up sweaty and wet in the morning and sparking a fire in his gut whenever he closed his eyes to think of Kageyama. He knew it was…strange. That he was crushing so hard on a person he’d never met to the point of jerking off to the mental image he had ingrained of him was, a bit out of the norm, to say the very least.   The feelings persisted for many years—through his attempts and failures at dating, his uneasy and regrettable one-night stands, and that post-graduation loneliness that came with being a working adult and living alone. He had graduated with a degree in communications, concentrating on sport journalism, and after countless interviews and rejections, was hired by TV Osaka as their new sports reporter. He hadn’t expected this stroke of luck. Especially since it came on the tails of Kageyama being recruited to the Osaka’s Panasonic Panthers. Not only would they be in the same city, but also with Kageyama becoming a professional volleyball player, Hinata would be able to cover news about him all the time. And there was a lot of news about him and his vibrant pro career: having Kageyama as their setter lit a fire under the Panasonic Panthers that hadn’t been seen in a while and they started winning tournaments. If that wasn’t impressive enough, he also did an amazing job as the setter for Japan’s Olympic volleyball team. Oh, and of course, there was the occasional small scandal of x or y woman leaving the handsome athlete’s apartment, but none of it amounted to much, to Hinata’s relief.   Yes, even still, Hinata liked that distant and unattainable Kageyama. He especially enjoyed his reporting when it had to do with him, so everyone had noticed how much of a Kageyama fanboy he was. And that lust that burned through him…it had matured into something beyond masturbation and finding porn stars that looked like Kageyama. His head had become so filled with fantasies that he needed to find a way to empty it, and so he started writing fanfiction. He would write countless stories of his OC, which was actually just a self-insert of himself, and Kageyama, doing all sorts of wild things. The stories brought him warmth, peace of mind, and when they started getting a few loyal readers, a group of people who also relished in these fantasies he was once shamed of.   But, the most painful thing about unrequited crushes is that all the imagining only made him fall harder. Hinata loved the Kageyama from his imagination, whether or not it lined up with the real one. This was the only Kageyama that could ever be completely his and he was okay with living in his head.   Well, he thought he was okay with just living in his head…   He SHOULD have been satisfied with just the fantasies, yet—Hinata let out a shaky breath and stared at his reflection as he nervously finger-combed his hair. He was currently at a potential major turning point in his life and also having an existential crisis in a bathroom.   “Get your shit together,” he mumbled to himself, opening the sink faucet and splashing his face with cold water.   TV Osaka was going to do an exclusive and intensive report on volleyball’s MVP, and that’s where Kageyama fanboy and Osaka’s sweetheart announcer came in. This meant Hinata was going to have to meet and talk directly to Kageyama, multiple times, throughout the course of a few weeks. Hinata had already been working at TV Osaka for three years, so the fact that this didn't happen sooner was a mystery, but he had never actually prepared his heart for the reality of it happening.   “Hinata!” Ueda, his fieldwork partner and also the one who was going to run the adjacent and more detailed exclusive on TV Osaka’s website, peeked into the bathroom. “Stop shitting your pants already. The love of your life just finished practice so we have to go do the interview now.”   ‘Love of his life’—ha, if only Ueda knew how true those words were. “Stop teasing!” Hinata yelled and dried his face with a paper towel. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he said with a sigh, pulling his lanyard badge from his white shirt pocket so it hung freely and visibly on his chest.   They walked into the Panasonic Panther’s gymnasium and toward the corner they had set up with chairs, microphones, and filming equipment for the sake of the interview. There Kageyama stood, tall, towel dangling from his neck as he dabbed at his face, his shorts and practice shirt straining with every defined muscle now glistened with sweat. Hinata put on a smile as he trained his wild thoughts on artic ice baths, naked grandmas, and dying cats.   “Hi,” he beamed, a bit too enthusiastically, and extended his hand. “I’m Hinata Shouyou, with TV Osaka.”   “…Oh. You’re shorter in person.” Kageyama noted, briefly shaking his hand. “And your hair is even brighter.”   “Um, I am! And yes it is,” he replied with a forced smile. How was he supposed to even act? How does a person act when they meet someone they’ve been jerking of to for years?! Hinata signaled to Ueda, “This is my partner, Ueda. He’s going take charge of the recording and filming while we talk. Should we start?”   “Sure.” Kageyama took his seat and pulled the towel from his neck, hanging it on the arm of the chair.   Hinata sat down and opened his notepad with his list of questions. “Um, okay. So first question, how do you feel about being called volleyball’s MVP?”   “That’s a nice sentiment but calling someone the most valuable player of an entire sport is ridiculous.” Kageyama shrugged. “There are players in other teams doing things I can’t do and being their team’s MVP in their own way. I don't need an exaggerated and flashy title like that.”   “So you don’t like that title?”   “Not really.”   Hinata tapped his notebook with the tip of his pen.“…But you can’t deny that you’ve broken countless records in the past few years. You’re certainly one of the best Japanese volleyball players to come into the court in the last three decades. Not only is your professional record unbelievably impressive, you always made huge splashes in the collegiate and high school level—”   “—I’m doing what I’ve been doing since day one and nothing else: setting to maximize the abilities of each player on my team. I’m glad to be doing it and it’s fulfilling. That’s it. Everything else is outside my field of vision.”   “Understood.” Hinata gave a nervous laugh. “So, do you get along well with your team? Are you guys friends outside of practice?”   “Yes, we go out to eat and drink together from time to time.”   “Is that all?”   Kageyama cocked his head a bit to the side. “What else would there be?”   “Um, like hanging out in each other’s apartments, or doing karaoke, or a joint hobby you guys may have. Do you have any hobbies?”   “Volleyball,” Kageyama stated and Hinata could almost hear the silent ‘no shit, Sherlock’ following it.   “Aside from that.”   “I like food. Does that count?”   Hinata chuckled and nodded. “Yes, I suppose it does. What’s your favorite food?”   “Pork curry with egg on top. I also like meat buns.”   “Do you eat these often? Is it difficult to stay in shape while eating your favorite foods?”   Kageyama looked down at himself and then up again at Hinata with a confused expression. “I’m always practicing and work out often. And aside from those foods I eat a pretty clean diet…so it’s not hard at all.”   Hinata fought the burning desire to cop a longing glace at Kageyama’s body. He made the smart decision to look him in his gorgeous face instead. “That’s good, then.”   “Any more questions?” Kageyama was bouncing his leg now. They must have passed the threshold of his patience with people snooping into his life.   “Just one more question for this part of the interview series.” Hinata said with a grin. “Do you have any other play you see as a rival?”   “No, I only focus on myself and how I can be more of a strength to my team.”   “Pretty admirable.” Hinata closed his notepad and got up from his chair, looking to Ueda. “And that’s a wrap for now.”   Kageyama grabbed his towel. “Am I done for today?”   “Yes, I’ll send you—” Hinata shut himself up; noticing Kageyama had already walked away. “…Okay then,” he muttered as he watched Kageyama move further from him. Damn him and his wonderfully shaped ass.   Ueda and Hinata spent the next hour going over the footage and planning on what questions to tackle the next time. Ueda asked him more than once if he was feeling star struck, but Hinata answered that he wasn’t sure. He obviously didn’t give full disclosure, but on his way home he thought more deeply about what exactly he was feeling at the moment. First of all, it hadn’t yet truly sunk in that he just had a conversation with the fodder for his sexual fantasies from the last eight years. But if he were being honest with himself, though his heart was jumping out of his chest and it was very difficult to keep his eyes off of Kageyama’s body, the whole ordeal was pretty…anticlimactic?   Sure, it’s not like he was expecting a TV drama scene or anything. But he thought it’d be more of a BAM or a WAH, or some other of his many nonverbal sounds. Of course it was amazing talking to Kageyama. He still found him unbearably attractive, somewhat cold and unrelentingly straightforward as he had expected, and also a surprisingly awkward, but meeting the ‘real one’ made Hinata pitifully hyperaware of his own delusions.   He took his laptop and the USB with the recording of the interview out of his bag and set it on the small table in his kitchen. He then slipped off his tie, untucked his shirt, and grabbed two beers from his fridge. He yawned, it was already ten at night and the exhaustion from his over-excitement was pulling at his eyes. But he needed to transcribe the interview and send it over to Kageyama for approval so that they could soon put it up on TV Osaka’s website. He opened up his first can of Asahi, took a refreshing gulp, and got to work.   An hour later he was not only quite drunk from a bad combination of light-weightiness and exhaustion, but also finally done with the interview transcript. He saved it into whichever folder he had used last, and though it happened to be his fanfiction folder, he figured he’d just move it elsewhere tomorrow. He was tired. All he needed to do was attached this document to an email and…done! Kageyama should have gotten that. He’d send him a text late tomorrow to ask if the transcription looked fine, but right now he could only think about his heavenly bed. And so he waddled off to sleep.

Kageyama Tobio was sure he was dreaming. After all, there was no way the brilliant, handsome, talented, sexy, Pulitzer Prize winner for Investigative Reporting journalist Hinata Shou could actually want to have sex with him, was there?   Sure, Kageyama was pretty hot himself — since he was naked, his really awesome abs were obvious. His pecs were super defined because of his twelve-step exercise program he’d developed himself (now a series on YouTube!) and his eyes were really blue, like, way bluer than anyone else’s eyes and twice as pretty. And he was tall and also handsome and the best setter in Japan, probably even the world. He was definitely just as sexy as Shou, so why shouldn’t they sleep together? They’d probably have really hot sex, and maybe even fall in love.   “I really want to have sex with you,” Shou said, dispelling all doubts from Kageyama’s mind.   “I really want to have sex with you, too,” Kageyama told him.   They started to have sex. It was really fucking hot and super sexy and vulgar, which was the best kind, even though sometimes Shou liked it slow, too. Also, they did it without a condom. First, Shou got on his knees and gave Kageyama a blow job. He was really good at it, even though Kageyama had also never been with anyone besides Shou (despite how super sexy and hot Kageyama was). And now he knew he would never have sex with anyone else again, ever, because Shou was definitely the best.   “Shou,” Kageyama said, and Shou looked up at him, while he kept sucking on Kageyama’s trembling manhood. “You’re the best at blow jobs. If this were the Olympics, I’d give you a gold medal.” “How about a pearl necklace instead?” Shou asked sexily. [A/N: a pearl necklace is when a guy cums all over his partner’s chest!!!!!! So vulgar (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)]

At first Kageyama stared at his laptop screen with a blank expression. Surely, it was shock. What the fuck was this? He rubbed at his eyes to make sure it wasn’t the exhaustion playing tricks on him. But as he continued reading, his face burning a deeper shade of red with every sentence, that initial shock turned into realization.  

This was so hot that Kageyama came instantly, and he did it all over Shou’s chest to give him a pearl necklace. After that, Shou made Kageyama lie down so that he could finger him (with lube!!) until he could have sex with Kageyama. Kageyama was so sexy, moaning so much while Shou was inside him, that Shou came really soon, too. It felt AMAZING to come inside of Kageyama (without a condom) that he came so much his cum filled up Kageyama’s tight hole and even came out all over Shou’s throbbing, thick member. It was really gross, but also really hot. It was so hot that it made Shou want to have even more sex.

  “Kageyama,” he moaned, “I’m going to ride you, okay?”   “Yeah,” Kageyama moaned also, “I want you to ride me so bad, Shou, you’re so hot!!”   Shou made Kageyama finger him now until he was ready, even though he was so turned on that he probably could have done it even without fingering, but he also wanted to feel Kageyama’s sexy hands with his sexy national level setter’s fingers inside him. Kageyama was a really good setter, but he was also really good at fingering, and Shou even came again while Kageyama did it, because he was so good.   “Can you still ride me?” Kageyama asked after he came.   Shou smirked down at him. “Baby, I can do anything you want.”   Kageyama’s mini-Yama wasn’t really all that mini!!! It was enormous, big, thick, trembling. Shou screamed as it went inside him when he sat on it. Kageyama’s penis was the best thing he had ever felt. It was so good that he had to start bouncing on it immediately. He really wanted Kageyama to fill him with his cum.   “Kageyama!” he screeched, gyrating his hips around and around in a figure eight on Kageyama’s meaty spear, which he’d read was a good sex move in Cosmo. “Fill me with your cum!”   “I’ll do anything for you, Shou!” Kageyama yelled. He started to come, even more than Shou had, pouring his hot, sticky ropes of spunk inside of Shou for at least two minutes. Shou climaxed simultaneously with him, coming all over Kageyama’s sexy abs and on his nipples, too. It was the best orgasm either of them had ever had.   “That was the best sex ever,” Shou said as he snuggled next to Kageyama and Kageyama cuddled him and kissed his forehead. “And I’ve had a lot of sex.”   “Really?” Kageyama asked. He was super happy that he had made Shou come so much and feel so good even though he was a virgin before. It must be because they were made for each other.   “Yeah,” Shou said. “Let’s do it a lot more.”   They cuddled the whole night long and had sex seven more times, because they were boyfriends now and would probably get married and get a dog. Shou would always come to see all of Kageyama’s games, and Kageyama always dedicated his medals to Shou.   They loved each other forever!!!   THE END.   [A/N: KTsHubby69 here! Hope ya enjoyed that. And remember to leave me comments and likes~]  

This was ‘fanfiction’.   Hinata had sent him fanfiction. His email had said this was supposed to be an interview transcript but it sure as hell wasn’t! It was steamy, raunchy, and very badly written gay porn about him and some guy called Shou. There was this time that to poke fun at him, his teammates had shown him a page full of stories of him and other guys, some being his own teammates, in some fanfiction site. All the knowledge he had of this foreign world was that memory and, well, this wretched document on his screen. Why was contriving sexy situations between other living people something a person would want to do with their free time?   Wait, wasn’t Hinata’s name…Shouyou? Huh?   Kageyama launched forward so violently in his couch that the laptop that was resting on his knees smacked him in the face. “HAAAH?” he yelled to absolutely no one but his panicking self.   He pushed the laptop away from him and rubbed at the sore spot on his forehead while he tried to wrap his mind around the situation. Hinata Shouyou—bubbly, vibrant, sunshine sweetheart of TV Osaka—had sent him smutty fanfiction involving Kageyama and a guy named Shou. Only a dumbass wouldn’t notice that Shou and Shouyou are basically the same name. And since the document said ‘draft’ Hinata had, certainly by mistake, sent him something he was personally working on. Meaning that Hinata was writing fanfiction of himself doing wild things with Kageyama.   But the biggest question of them all was: why?   The most obvious answer was that Hinata had a crush on Kageyama and fantasized about Kageyama doing all those things he wrote about. But that was hard to visualize—the Hinata crushing on him part, not the sex, Hinata made sure to make that painfully vivid—after all, he acted pretty normal in the interview today. He was a little bit red in the cheeks and sometimes he did have a questionable look in his eye, but other than that, he was utterly calm.   Kageyama pulled the laptop back to him and cozied up with it in a corner of his couch. He was curious. He wanted to know what that seemingly innocent face had hiding in his mind. And so he started reading yet again from the beginning. Most of it should have made him uncomfortable. Up to this point all of his experience had been with women and he had never considered being with a man…yet he wasn’t opposed to the things portrayed in this fanfic. Well, he wasn’t opposed to most of the things portrayed in the story, but Hinata’s characterization of him? Horrendous. It was unbearably out of character. He wouldn’t say half the crap Hinata had him say! Also his writing needed some work.   Kageyama went to Google and looked up the username mentioned in the author’s note. He was curious to see what else Hinata had written, in what other ways did they ravish each other on the page. Chalk it up to 3 a.m. boredom, or a touch of narcissism, who cares. The search lead him to Hinata’s profile on a fanfiction website and a listing of everything he’d written. Kageyama scrolled through—Hinata was somewhat prolific, having written almost fifty fics, and also singularly focused: every fic was between Kageyama and this Shou character of his. Kageyama wasn’t sure if to feel flattered or bothered by the fact that some of the fics ranged back a few years, meaning that Hinata had been hung up on him for quite some time. He tried to click on a fic in the listing, a pirate ‘alternate universe’ that sounded interesting, but the site redirected him to an account creation page. Was he really about to create an account to read bad fanfiction about him and the adorable reporter in charge of him for the next few weeks…   Short answer: Yes.   Long answer: Yes, but he was probably going to regret it tomorrow.   Something was vibrating. Kageyama’s eyes peeled open, the bright sunlight in his living room causing him to shield his irritated eyes. He looked around, his neck sore and mind disoriented—when did he pass out? If he remembered correctly it was somewhere in the middle of the third fic he was reading. He groggily set the dead laptop on top of his coffee table and searched his pocket for his vibrating phone. It was an unknown number.   “Hello?” he mumbled, a yawn catching him at the end.   “Sorry did I wake you? I didn’t expect you to still be sleeping this late in the afternoon.” It was Hinata’s voice.   Kageyama shot up and looked at the clock hanging above his television. It was already two. “Not usually. It’s my day off and just…I had a late night.”   “Oh, what kept you up so late?”   Your lewd fics, that’s what. “None of your business,” Kageyama muttered. Fuck, that sounded a bit too harsh.   “S-Sorry! I shouldn't be nosy, right? Um, anyway, I sent you an email with the interview transcript. Did you get it? Does it look fine to use?”   “Uh…” Kageyama glanced at his laptop and immediately felt his face burn up. “Y-Yeah. It looks good. Totally fine.” His guilt was eating him alive.   “That’s great, then! I’ll be in contact with you about our next interview and the photo shoot.”   “Okay.”   “Bye!”   He hung up and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a long, deep sigh. How the hell was he going to face this guy from now on? Just trying to bring up an image of his pretty face and obnoxiously vibrant orange hair dragged up all sorts of descriptions of moans dripping from those saliva licked lips and eyes glazed over with—fuck, you see, his mind just freaking GOES.   And it kept going, bringing up a scene in one of Hinata’s fics every…damn…time.   How about when they were at lunch together and Hinata was happily eating his salad and babbling about the photo shoot that would happen in a few days. Well, of course, brain, wasn’t the cabbage lush, green, and very similar to the jungle foliage in that fic where Hinata and him were castaways on an island and fucked like bunnies to keep each other sane? UGH.   Kageyama squeezed his plastic water bottle so hard it popped, splashing water all over himself and the table. He stood up with a jolt and Hinata came to his rescue with napkins, trying to hold back a laugh while simultaneously shoving napkins into Kageyama’s hands and pressing them on to the table. Kageyama dabbed his practice shorts with the napkins, eyes stead on the soft curve of Hinata’s lips and the crinkling of his eyes when he giggled. When he wasn’t chattering on nonstop he was actually, sort of…lovely.   That was the usual pattern.   Hinata did something completely innocent like untangle the filming equipment and BAM, that kinky ‘shibari au’ Kageyama had read a few days prior would play in his mind. Eating ice cream dragged up ‘semen drinking fetish au’. Sipping coffee— ‘coffee shop au’. Unbuttoning the top of his shirt to cool down—‘stripper au’. Stretching. ‘Dancer au’. Playing volleyball together. ‘Fucking in the team locker-room PWP’. Any mention of Sci-Fi and that really, really strange ‘alien abduction au’ that left Kageyama both confused, but also hot and bothered, flashed through his mind.   Why the hell did this guy have such an impressively overactive imagination? Kageyama could also say that for himself…if he didn’t keep reading Hinata’s god-awful fics this problem of constantly thinking about them would probably solve itself. But he couldn’t help but go back to read them every night, they had become strangely addicting. Though his own characterization hadn’t improved in the slightest, and he made sure to leave Hinata a comment letting him know that, it excited him to see how Hinata would react in each of those different scenarios. He wondered if Hinata was that sensitive in real life.   Anyhow, said dirty scene popped up in his head, and the next step of the usual routine was that he’d act like am utter fool. Too often had he spilled water on himself, but he’d also trip, bump into things, and let easily receivable balls catch him in the face. None of it affected his actually playing or practice (thank god) since it only happened around Hinata, but it did make filming and shooting photos take that much longer. Yet, Hinata was never mad. When facing Kageyama, an endearing gaze glimmered from those golden eyes, and he’d laugh, much to Kageyama’s embarrassment, in dulcet tones that warmed up the room.   Kageyama could tell he was falling for him.   In the last few weeks there was rarely a moment Hinata wasn’t on his mind, but which Hinata? Fearless, wonton, and suave Hinata from those fics or the adorable, cheerful, and snarky Hinata right in front of him? They might be one and the same. If he dragged Hinata to a room where they were alone and pressed him to the bed, would he be able to see the blood rush to his cheeks as he lost himself in Kageyama’s embrace?   He wanted to answer these questions. But first, he needed to know if his feelings were true.

Hinata yawned, glancing at the time on his work computer. It was past eight and he wouldn’t be going home any time soon. He bounced his leg impatiently and pressed the home button to his phone, only to be disappointed yet again. Kageyama hadn’t responded to any of his texts for about week. Half of them weren’t work related so Hinata guessed that Kageyama was too busy to respond to them. But he hadn’t expected radio silence about the scheduling of their last interview, since Kageyama used to be prompt in his responses to work related emails and texts.   “Here you go,” Ueda returned with two cups of coffee and took the seat next to Hinata, passing him one. They were looking over all the Kageyama video footage they had and editing it down for the online exclusive.   “Thanks.” Hinata grabbed the cup with both hands and took a blissful slip; it was perfectly warm.   Ueda took a gulp of his and set it down on the desk. “So…are things going okay with you and Kageyama recently?”   “Hm? What do you mean by that?”   Ueda scratched the back of his neck. “I mean, like, did you do anything to get him pissed or something?”   Hinata pursed his lips and set his coffee on the desk. “Not that I know of…but he has been ignoring my texts for a while. Why do you ask?”   “Well, it’s just that I overhead our boss on my way to get coffee. She said that Kageyama had called in this morning and requested that the reporter in charge of his exclusive coverage be changed.”   “What?!” Hinata exclaimed, standing up from his chair. “Why? Did he say why?”   Ueda shrugged. “I have no idea. That’s all I heard, but she’s probably going to talk to you about it soon.”   Hinata bit his bottom lip and tapped his foot on the floor. Did Kageyama catch him staring at him weirdly? They were getting along super well recently so why would Kageyama all of a sudden want to avoid him? What was up with his freaking luck! First he had a rude reader saying his Kageyama was OOC and now this?!   “Sorry, Ueda. I promise to make it up to you but I won’t let Kageyama take this project away from me!” Hinata stuffed his phone in his bag and hurried to the door. He heard a faint ‘Good Luck’ from Ueda as he left the room.   Hinata headed to Kageyama’s apartment, he and Ueda had gone there briefly for a portion of the photo shoot and Hinata had committed it to memory. It was a Friday, so Kageyama usually finished practice around seven and went straight home. He tried to gather what he was going to say in his head but his thoughts were all muddled. He was nervous—what if Kageyama had come to hate him for some reason? Somewhere in the corner of his heart he was holding on to the hope that they could continue to meet up even after they were done with the exclusive. He didn't expect Kageyama to come to love him or anything like that, but friendship would have been nice. Now that he’d been by Kageyama’s side so many times, seen his expressions up close, felt him near by, he didn’t know how he’d go back to just living in his head.   Once inside the entrance of Kageyama’s apartment building, Hinata pressed the intercom button for his apartment. He looked straight up at the camera, knowing Kageyama could see him.   “Why are you here?”   “Let me up. Please.”   He heard a quiet sigh and then the door buzzed open. Hinata took the elevator to the third floor, practicing deep breathes as he approached Kageyama’s door. There, Kageyama was waiting for him in a white t-shirt and shorts, hair damp from getting just out of the shower. Hinata nearly forgot what he had come all this way for.   Kageyama leaned against his open door. “If you’re here to—   “—Why are you avoiding me?!” spat Hinata, eyes wide and locked to Kageyama’s.   “I’m not avoiding you,” insisted Kageyama, desperately wanting to look away from Hinata’s intense stare but keeping his gaze steady to not make his lie obvious.   “You are.” Hinata balled his hands on either side of him. “I know that you want to change who’s in charge of your exclusive. And you haven’t answered my texts. If I did anything to make you mad or uncomfortable just tell me. I’ll try to be better, I promise.”   Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, folding his arms across his chest. “It’s not that…it’s just, personal reasons.”   “But I thought we were getting closer!” Hinata stammered, eyebrows knitting, and lips quivering. “Just tell me why. Did you notice that I look at you weirdly? I promise I’ll stop; it’s just that I’ve been a fan of yours for so long that it gets away from me sometimes. This exclusive is a dream come true, it means a lot to me. I just really—   “Hinata!”   “—love you!” Hinata’s eyes widened, swimming wildly with the realization of what he just said. “No, no, not that. I mean—“   Kageyama slapped a hand over Hinata’s mouth and covered his own burning face with the other. “Shut. Up. Already.” He huffed, finding enough composure to uncover his face and return his gaze to Hinata’s. “I’ve known you like for a while now.”   “Mm!” Hinata muffled.   “And before your mind jumps to that, no, that’s not why I’m avoiding you.” Kageyama moved his hand away from Hinata’s mouth. “Try to be quiet, dumbass.”   “How?!” Hinata whispered, loudly.   Kageyama sighed and took Hinata’s hand, silently leading him into his apartment. Hinata just followed along, not really sure of what was happening anymore or if he should say something, so he also kept quiet and focused his attention on their linked hands. They took off their shoes, walked into the living room, and Kageyama plopped him down on his couch. He picked up his laptop from the coffee table, clicked around, and placed it on Hinata’s lap.   “That’s the email you sent me in order to review the transcript for the first interview. But you attached the wrong document,” Kageyama explained, cheeks dusted in pink once more.   “What did I send, then?...” Hinata looked at the document title and his faced immediately went beet red. “Wait, no. No way.” He opened the document, and having confirmed his fear, returned the laptop to the coffee table, covered his face with his hands, and curled forward until his head was on his knees. “You must think I’m crazy,” he muffled.   Kageyama gently mussed the hair on the top of Hinata’s head. “I don't.”   “Even though I write weird stuff about you?!” Hinata croaked, face looking up to reveal his flushed face and glossy eyes.   “Yes.” Kageyama retracted his hand, folding his arms across his chest, and paced back and forth while staring at his feet. “…I wasn’t grossed out by it. More like, I was so hooked that I read a lot of your other stories,” he stammered.   “H-Huh?” Hinata stood up and took a few steps towards the restless Kageyama. “Really?”   “And I kept thinking about your stupid fics every time we were together. I wanted to put some distance between us because I couldn’t tell if your stories were influencing my feelings or if they were my own…” Kageyama stopped pacing and let his hands fall to his sides, blue eyes meeting Hinata’s golden gaze. “I like you, Hinata. Even if you write strange fanfiction.”   “You didn’t have to add that at the end!” Hinata whined, hand tugging at Kageyama’s t-shirt with a smile so wide it could have left his face. “Is this for real? I feel like I’m dreaming.”   Kageyama flicked Hinata’s forehead. “It’s real, stupid. You’ve done enough living in your head for a lifetime.”   “Then…” Hinata grew quiet, gaze cast downward, and pinky finger sneaking to touch Kageyama’s skin from where he was holding his shirt. “You’ll have to keep me busy.”   Kageyama swallowed, hard. “Yeah, of course,” he managed to get out.   Hinata looked up through his lashes, and though he was trying to best to be sultry, his pursed lips and knitted eyebrows displayed his embarrassment and desperation. But even more so with this front he was trying to put on—he was unbearably cute.   “Right now,” Hinata whispered.   “Now?” Kageyama murmured, the fingers Hinata was crawling up his abs leaving immense heat in their wake. “Okay. My room is this way.” He grabbed Hinata’s assaulting hand and pulled him along.   “Wait,” Hinata said as he slipped his hand out of Kageyama’s grasp. “I need to take a shower first and prepare, and all that.”   Kageyama pointed at a door across from the living room. “That’s my shower and tub.”   Hinata nodded and said, “Thanks,” promptly disappearing behind the door.   Twenty minutes passed and Hinata remerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, his usually messy hair now damp and framing his rosy cheeks. Kageyama shot up from the couch, eyes traveling across Hinata’s almost naked body as if they had a mind of their own.   “My room?”   Hinata nodded, a small smile slipping past his nerves. “If it’ll get you to stop trying to eat me alive with your eyes.”   Kageyama chuckled and shook his head, grabbing Hinata’s hand again. “I think it’ll only get worse.”   Once in the bedroom, Kageyama turned on only his bedside lamp and set the lube and condom from his drawer on top his nightstand. Hinata climbed onto Kageyama’s dark blue king-sized bed. Kageyama threw off his t-shirt and shorts and carefully crawled over him. He deliberately smoothed his hand across Hinata’s chest, focusing his attention on tracing his beautiful collarbones and pink nipples. He feathered his fingers down Hinata stomach and up again, inching closer and closer to the edge of his towel with every pass. Hinata shuddered under his touch, hazy eyes watching his face and hands wrapped around the wrist of the hand Kageyama was leaning on.   “You’re a lot more forward in your fics,” Kageyama commented, pulling down at Hinata’s towel until he was completely exposed. He took in Hinata’s naked body, its lean shape, faint freckles, and the proud state of his leaking dick. “But just as sensitive…I’ve barely touched you.”   “I can’t help it!” Hinata wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck and pulled his face closer. “I’ve imagined this a million times. You could probably just look at me for the next ten minutes and it’ll be enough to make me come.”   Kageyama brushed his lips against Hinata’s, grabbing one of his hands and pressing it to the raging erection he was packing in his boxers. “I’ve read half those fantasies so I’m just as painfully excited. But…” Kageyama placed his lips right beneath Hinata’s neck and murmured, “You should focus on the me that’s here.”   “Ah,” Hinata breathed, fingers teasing Kageyama’s dick against the cloth of his boxers. “It’s really hard to focus on anything right now.”   Kageyama laughed through his nose, mouth traveling down to Hinata’s neck to nip and suck at his unmarked skin. It bruised with ease and soon enough Kageyama had scattered dark red hickies all the way to his shoulder. Hinata also kept himself busy, shaky fingers traveling up and down Kageyama’s spine, grazing gentle nails against the back of of his neck. Kageyama trembled against that touch, biting harder into Hinata’s neck and rolling his nipples to reciprocate the pleasure. Hinata whimpered against his ear, his fingers pulling at the hair nearby, drawing a low moan from Kageyama.   “You like that?” Hinata huffed, fingers traveling deeper into Kageyama’s hair.   Kageyama hummed in affirmation; tongue teasing Hinata’s chest and hands tortuously caressing the inside of his thighs. His mouth moved further down, tongue prodding at the place where his thigh met his hips, teeth grazing so close to Hinata’s dick that Hinata’s legs quivered uncontrollably despite being so tightly wrapped around him. Kageyama sat up and reached over for the lube and condom, setting the condom behind him for easy access later and pouring excessive lube in his hand. He warmed it up, some dripping onto Hinata in the process and making him jolt slightly.   “Hurry up…” Hinata begged, pushing his fringe away from his face with the back of his hand.   “Hush,” Kageyama said as he leaned forward, propped himself up on his right hand again, and slowly pressed two fingers into Hinata. A breathy moan escaped Hinata’s lips and he pushed against Kageyama’s fingers, arms reaching above his head to grasp at the pillow. Kageyama worked him unhurriedly—gaze steady on Hinata’s face to take in each of his fevered expressions, only breaking his watch to occasionally drink up Hinata’s moans with a messy kiss.   But Hinata grew impatient. He reached down to pull at both sides of Kageyama’s boxers, succeeding in freeing Kageyama’s throbbing dick. He wrapped his legs even tighter around Kageyama’s waist, hands diving to the back of his head. “Come on, already“ he said with drawn out tug of Kageyama’s hair, his voice no longer begging, but desperately commanding.   Kageyama complied, too riled up to be able to endure teasing Hinata any longer. After rolling on the condom, he leaned forward again, his weight on his right elbow, and lined himself up against Hinata’s entrance. He inched in slowly, relishing the sharp intakes and pants Hinata made against his lips, losing himself gradually to the heat inside Hinata. When he was in to the hilt, he pulled out a bit and rolled his hips slowly, grinding hard with each deliberate thrust. Hinata dug his fingers and heels into him, taking Kageyama’s lips to muffle the insistent chorus of his own moans.   But Kageyama wanted to hear him, those whimpers and pants so knee-weakening that they would be enough to push him over the edge. He broke the kiss, holding Hinata’s hands over his head so he couldn’t pull Kageyama’s face in again, and buried his face in Hinata’s neck.   “Kageyama,” Hinata cried, “I’m close.”   “Mmn,” Kageyama moaned in agreement.   He picked up his pace—slamming in faster, deeper, urgently. Kageyama reached down and pumped Hinata’s dick in matching rhythm, swiftly making him climax with a strained moan as he spilled hot and white into his hand. Kageyama barely lasted a few seconds after him, Hinata’s sudden tightness being too much for him and bringing him crashing past the edge.   Kageyama waited until their bodies’ quivering had stilled, and slowly pulled out. Hinata gave a short whimper, teeth sinking into his bottom teeth, but soon after he let out a blissful sigh. Kageyama followed suit with a satisfied sigh of his own, and slumped next to Hinata, bodies close and feet tangled.   “…Damn, ” Kageyama breathed, pressing his damp forehead against Hinata’s. The blue of his eyes was filled with adoration. “Your writing doesn't even do you half the justice.”   Hinata’s lips curved up into a warm smile and he traced the edge of Kageyama’s ear. “Maybe you should help me with it from now on.”   “I probably should. I could guide you on writing a Kageyama that’s not out of character for once.”   “Wait…” Hinata’s eyes widened and he sat up, gasping dramatically. “Were you that annoying reader that kept dissing my characterization?”   “…No,” Kageyama denied, trying to hold back a smirk but failing miserably.   Hinata yanked the pillow from under Kageyama and hit him with it. “You were so rude!”   Kageyama blocked his face, lounging at Hinata to pull him down into a hug. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past.”   “You hurt my feelings, though. Make it up to me,” Hinata pouted.   “Depends on what you want.”   “…Let me wear your Olympic jersey.”

“As long as you do it with nothing else on,” Kageyama retorted with a sly smile. Hinata laughed in that lovely singsong way of his and pressed his lips to Kageyama’s. “Deal.”

[hoshi-kawaii]

Seeing Blue

Seeing Blue, a Yuri!!! On Ice Fan Fiction by zerOphelia

Summary: Being an artist is hard enough, but being an artist who can't see color can kill your career. Lucky for Victor, the cute Japanese boy who just left his store has him seeing blue. Victuuri Art College Soulmate AU. ff.net AO3

The shop door opened with a light ring of a bell, alerting Victor to the presence of a customer. Victor remained seated at the checkout counter, calling out a greeting without removing himself from his sketchbook.

“Do you need help finding anything?”

A quiet, “No, thank you,” answered in return.

The reply was enough to let Victor know he would still have a few more moments to work on his piece. It was only some base work for his next assignment, but he was taking it seriously. After all, this would be the last assignment of his college career and in just a few months he would be facing the harsh realities of the job market.

He wiped his fallen bangs out of his eyes, a smudge of charcoal going unnoticed on his cheek. His brows furrowed together in thought as he tried to flesh out his ideas. Victor Nikiforov prided himself in doing the unexpected. This was how he had made it so far: to be one of the top students in one of America's most prestigious art schools.

With each drawing, Victor soared to new heights. His realistic portrayals of both familiar and unfamiliar scenes of life repeatedly left his audience breathless as he lit himself ablaze of dazzling, monochromatic flames. They would praise him as he fell back to the Earth in a rain of ash, only to rise again upon a bed of their expectation.

Yet increasingly, Victor finds the puddle of ash at his feet grow larger. He struggles to give the lifeless dust new form. His body is left stained with charcoal, his art lost in the deep shadows of his colorless world. After all, life can only offer one so much in black and white.

Art is unforgiving to those with unmatched souls, cursed to live an flat, achromic existence. The use of color bred great art, the art that stands the tests of time. But one could only paint with color if one could see it to begin with. The only way this could happen is if one were to meet his soulmate.

So far, Victor had not been so lucky.

Growing up, he dreamed of nothing but the ability to see color. Elementary school started off with torturous lessons of common pigments found in nature. Young Vitya had groaned to his mother in the frustration of learning about something he couldn't see. She smiled softly and told him that one day he would be thankful for knowing that the sky is blue and the grass is green.

As he grew older he begged his parents to describe colors to him. What was the shade of his hair like? Or his eyes? If the day sky and the night sky were both blue, why did they look so different? It was difficult, but they did their best to humor him.

In high school, Victor fell in love with poetry and literature. He longed to know: What was so warm about the sunset? What was so crisp and beautiful about the ocean? What made the bloom of spring so different from the dead of winter?

These questions struck deep into his core with a pain that almost caused him to curse out loud the sadistic nature of fate. He stared at his sketchbook like it had betrayed him, the page before his eyes a mess of soft, grey streaks. Why did his art have to be so goddamn lifeless?

The sound of items hitting the wooden counter before him interrupted Victor’s inner admonishment.

“Yes,” he responded to the awaiting customer, stashing his sketchbook on a shelf below the counter where no one would have to see. He cleaned the residual evidence off his fingers and on the waist of his black cardigan. “Sorry about that.” Victor offered a bright, apologetic smile.

The Asian boy on the other side of the counter blushed slightly, replying in a warm, accented voice, “No worries.”

Victor’s smile sat more naturally upon his lips at the sound, his eyes briefly trailing over the form across from him. The Asian boy had black hair so deep it shined and glasses that covered his down-shifted gaze. Victor smirked because somehow he found this nervousness incredibly cute.

He examined the customer’s order and searched for a topic of idle chit chat. His purchase included black and white paint and two canvases. Chances are he, too, was unmatched, but it wasn't exactly a polite topic of conversation.

“This is high-quality paint you got here. You seem to know your stuff.”

The customer chuckled lightly, adjusting his glasses. “Thanks? I actually attend the art college near here. I'm glad to know their teachings are useful.”

Victor looked up sharply from where he had been adding up the purchase in the register.

So cute nervous boy had a sarcastic side to him, huh?

“I go there too!” Victor didn't know what he was letting himself get so swept up for, this was a college town after all. “I’m a senior in the fine arts program.” He paused his work to look over the other boy again, ”I wonder if we've ever seen each other.”

“I'm only in my second year, studying art therapy. We've probably missed each other until now.” The Asian-- Japanese?-- boy turned his gaze towards the window in avoidance of Victor. There was an unsettling pause between the two before he added, “To be honest I usually get my supplies online or at the campus store. But they were out and I couldn't afford to wait for the shipping date. It's good to know this place is here.” His eyes settled again on the counter between the two.

Victor smiled warmly, “Yes, it's a small shop usually overshadowed by the campus store, but we have a good selection here. Though I will admit I'm glad we aren't more busy. This way I can get a lot of sketching done. Your total is $21.47.” Victor began bagging up the items.

A small dusting of gray took over the Asian student’s pale features as he admitted, “Ah, yes. I had noticed you drawing for a bit there. It was beautiful.” He handed over $22 in cash.

Victor simply paused with the money in his hand before the customer added, “You're ending your final year, so the pressure must be high.”

Victor sighed, offering the customer his change and his bag. “You would not believe.” The last word nearly catches in his throat when he finds cute nervous boy’s gaze locked unflinchingly on his face.

Without warning, the student swipes his thumb over Victor’s cheek causing his eyes to blow wide at the contact.

The customer gasps, for some reason reacting with more surprise. “Sorry! I-- Y-you just had some charcoal on your face.” His eyes are staring into Victor’s dead on for just a moment before he forces himself to look away. “I gotta go.”

Victor was taken aback by the odd behavior, but before he knew it he was calling after the man, “Wait! What’s your name?”

The customer stopped in front of the door, standing there for a moment-- as if making some kind of life-altering decision. Opening the door slightly, he turned around and spoke with a shaky voice, “I’m Y-yuuri. Yuuri Katsuki.” The door swiftly closed after him as he exited the building as quickly as he could.

Victor looked after him for a moment, dazed by the encounter. The silence of the store was broken as Victor opened his mouth and repeated the syllables, “Yuuri.”

The world around began to distort and glow as a soft, pleasing shade entered his vision. Victor stilled, frozen in awe of the beauty of the color that entered his life. One moment he was standing in the all-too familiar territory of his workplace and with the utterance of a few lithe syllables he was transported to a plane so distinctly alien.

Everything around him was the same, yet profoundly different. Shades of hue saturated pockets of his vision while others were merely tinted. Staring out the store windows, he was stunned-- confounded with wonder.

So this was what the sky looked like all along? So this is blue?

It took Victor a moment to process all that this meant for him, and he cursed himself as he ran out the door in hopes of catching up with the person who gifted him with this new phenomena. Expectedly, the streets outside were empty. He sighed, running his dusty fingers through his hair. “Yuuri,” He whispered, “I won’t let you get away that easy.”

A few hours later, Yuuri was pulling on his hair, pacing around his apartment as he spilled-all to his roommate.

“What kind of guy am I? What kind of guy meets his soulmate and runs away!?” Yuuri sat on the edge of the couch for a moment before springing back up and continuing to release his nervous energy.

He had ran, because the moment the blue in the shop clerk’s eyes hit him, he didn’t know what else to do. He wandered frantically around town for at least an hour trying to process what was happening to him. He even stopped into the University Wellness Center to make sure he wasn’t having a stroke. The only treatment he received was a very embarrassing pep talk from the campus nurse.

“That happens, I’m sure. There are some crazy stories out there about soul-meetings. It’s not exactly like you can prepare yourself for something you can’t comprehend existing. At least you didn’t go Double Rainbow, right?” Phichit Chulanont was really too pure for this world. He sat on the couch listening to Yuuri and petting one of his hamsters. “But tell me exactly how it happened! What colors can you see?”

“Well,” Yuuri finally stilled for a moment, “I went to brush some dust off his cheek and when he looks at me again, all of a sudden his eyes were glowing with-- with color!” Yuuri’s legs collapsed to the floor. “It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I thought I was going to die.” Yuuri slumped forward, face meeting the floor.

Truth is he still felt like he was going to die. But of embarrassment. Because in the touching moment that Yuuri finally met his soulmate-- something he never ever thought would happen, by the way-- Yuuri ran away. But again, at least he didn’t go Double Rainbow over some dude’s eyes.

Arigato, Kamisama.

Phichit’s laugh was somewhere between a squeal of delight and a horrifying cackle of extreme amusement. “I love you, but you’re an idiot!” He picked up a pillow and aimed it directly at Yuuri’s butt. “This is so unfair! I want to see color too! Which color do you see?”

“Blue.” Yuuri answered softly, his voice muffled by the carpet. “And I doubt anything could ever be more entrancing.”

“Did you get his name, at least?”

Yuuri sat up properly. “His name tag said ‘Victor’.”

“You actually paid attention to his name tag?” Phichit shot Yuuri an odd look.

Yuuri’s face gather in a blush neither man could really determine. “To be honest, I thought he was attractive even before I could see his eyes. His hair was this really pretty, silky-looking grey color... and it just had this essence like... you know when you see something that is black and you can tell that it’s true color is really black? There's just this quality of completeness. It’s really calming.”

“Wow. That was really beautiful, Yuuri. You got me bawling over here.”

“Shut up! I was a wreck just talking to him as a customer. How am I supposed to face him as my soulmate?” Yuuri buried his face in the nearby pillow, groaning in frustration.

“Woe is me! My name is Katsuki Yuuri! How am I supposed to talk to the super gorgeous boy who has been fated to be my lover since the beginning of time!” Phichit teased.

Yuuri deadpanned, taking the pillow in his hand and tossing it at Phichit with no mercy. “You can be an ass sometimes.”

Phichit grinned. “Too bad I can’t be your ass, or I’d be bound to get some sweet lovin’ sooner than later.”

Yuuri rose, nervous energy forgotten as he took a deep breath and declared, “I’m going to kill you.”

Meanwhile, across campus:

“Yurio!” Victor barged into his friend’s room without warning. Yuri Plisetsky sat in his bed with a guitar on his lap, a notebook of staff paper lying open beside him.

“What the fuck did you just call me?” The blonde replied with a snarl.

“I called you ‘Yurio’. I just met another Yuri, so I’ve decided to call you ‘Yurio’ now.” Victor replied, his tone somewhere between smug and matter-of-fact.

“We’re Russian! Why not just call me ‘Yura’?” Yuri barked, his palm in his face.

Victor pouted. Of course. Victor always pouted around Yurio. For some reason he felt the right to act spoiled around those he had known for most of his life, a prerogative Yuri often wondered what he did to make Victor think belonged to him.

“But what if I want to call him ‘Yura’?”

“Wait,” Yuri set his guitar down, giving Victor his full attention. “Another Yuri? Do you mean Yuuri Katsuki?”

Victor’s eyes widened, his mouth molding into the shape of a heart as he bounced with excitement, “You know him!?”

“Da, I know that pig. We’ve had a few psych classes together. He’s a loser with no confidence. He totally bombed one of our presentations and I told him he should just drop out.” Yurio explained.

Victor suddenly grabbed Yuri by the shoulders, exclaiming, “YOU TOLD MY SOULMATE HE SHOULD DROP OUT?”

“Soulmate? What? That loser is your soulmate!?” Yurio pushed Victor away.

Victor sighed, his expression akin to a lovelorn maiden.

“He just stopped in the store. I could tell right away he was interesting, not to mention completely adorable, but when he told me his name I knew I was a gonner. I met Yuuri Katsuki, and now I can see life through blue-tinted lenses! It’s such a wonderful color, too.”

“Blue, huh.” Yurio snorted, seemingly disinterested. While on one hand he supposed he could be happy the man he saw as an older brother finally found his match, he had a feeling Victor would talk about nothing else for quite a while. Victor had a tendency to be a bit... how should we put it... extra.

“Yurio, please tell me you have his number.” Victor turned to Yuri with eyes that rivaled those of his dog, Makka.

“Why would I have a pig’s number? And stop calling me that stupid name.” Yuri reached for his guitar again.

“You have to help me track him down.”

Yuri hated being told what to do, but he restrained himself and began to play a melody he had been working on. “Why do I have to? Just search for him on social media.”

“You don’t think I tried? The kid is like a ghost! He has no facebook and his instagram hasn’t been updated in MONTHS. PLEASE, Yurio! You’re the only connection I have right now.”

“Stop calling me that.” He set his guitar down once more, looking Victor dead-on. Yuri hated that those stupid eyes actually had some kind of effect on him. He looked away, conceding, “If I help you, you’re gonna owe me big time.”

Victor threw himself at Yuri’s feet, hugging his waist tightly in gratitude. “Thank you!”

“Disgusting, get off me!” Yurio pushed at Victor’s head, pissed that Victor was actually stronger than him. “His roommate is part of the music program and we have a class together. They’re pretty close and I’m sure he would help you out.”

“Perfecto!” Victor leaned in to give his “little brother” a kiss on the head.

“I swear to God, Vitya, your lips touch me and you die.”

The next day, Victor sat restless on his stool at the art supply shop. His shift ended in less than one hour. One hour and he would rush across campus to meet Yurio after his seminar. The blonde boy had agreed to detain Phichit, Yuuri’s roommate, after class so Victor could talk to him and hopefully get in contact with Yuuri that night.

As usual, things were slow and Victor was attempting to work on his artwork. His mind buzzed with thoughts of the cute Japanese boy he had met the day before. Many times during his shift he caught himself tracing the lines of Yuuri’s face into the paper. His glasses perched on an unbearably adorable nose, the tresses of his soft black hair.

If Victor had known that customer was his soulmate, he would have worked harder to burn the sweet image of his smile into his brain.

His mind wandered to the only information he knew about his match: he was from Japan (or Victor assumed based on his accent and a few old photos on his instagram), he was a sophomore, he painted, his major was art therapy. From what Yurio told him, Yuuri wasn’t good at speaking in front of a crowd.

Victor sighed, setting his most recent sketch of Yuuri (because somehow in the last 24 hours he managed to fill ten pages) down on the counter, resting his cheek on his palm. He stared at the image like it would come to life and start talking and on some level, Victor himself felt alive.

He felt heavy, burdened by anxiety of new love and stress of tracking that love down, but all at once: he felt light.

Light because life had returned to him and returned to his art as his eyes had started to perceive the world in a different way.

Light because love was in his grasp and it made his heart soar higher than ever before, beating rapidly with anticipation of what new possibilities were before him.

Light because he finally shed the ash of the cold, gray world.

“You got my chin wrong.”

Victor’s eyes flew open, his head pulled down from the clouds by the sound of a familiar accent. His gaze refocused, and was met directly with a bottle of turquoise paint. His head lifted higher to find the subject of his mind’s occupation standing opposite him, and his butt had never left a seat faster than this moment.

“Yuuri!” Victor nearly fell over the counter.

Yuuri smiled brightly. “I’m glad you remember me, Victor.”

Victor’s chest popped and fizzed, threatening to burst open at the sound of his name on his soulmate’s lips. Yuuri’s lips.

“How did you--?”

“You’re wearing a nametag.” Yuuri pointed to Victor’s chest.

Victor’s eyes followed Yuuri’s finger unknowingly, but stopped instead on the bottle of blue paint Yuuri had previously placed before him.

“Blue.” Victor blurted before meeting Yuuri’s eyes, caught completely off guard by this surprise attack. He had a whole plan for meeting Yuuri in the evening. He would meet with Phichit and convince him to take him to wherever Yuuri was and then charm the pants off his soulmate. Figuratively and maybe even literally. “You! We’re--”

“Yeah.” Yuuri smiled softly, acknowledging their cosmic relationship.

Smooth.

“Urgh!” Victor’s legs gave out as he slumped onto the shop floor. He turned his back to the counter, burying his face in his hands.

“Victor?” Concern and surprise leaked through Yuuri’s tone.

“This isn’t fair!” Victor could no longer contain his embarrassment. “I had a plan to talk to your roommate and track you down. I was gonna prepare myself to speak to you and ask you out to coffee. Getting caught drawing pictures of you in my sketchbook was not part of that plan.”

Behind him Yuuri laughed.

“How can you be so cool?” Victor asked.

“Cool?” Yuuri froze. “Are you kidding? I ran away from you, remember? I was up all night trying to figure out what to say to you. I paced in front of the store for an hour before I came in. A cop actually stopped me for suspicious behavior.”

“You’re lying.” Victor turned to stand on his knees, his face half-hidden by the counter as he looked up at Yuuri.

“I’m not. I sort of wish I was, though.” Yuuri’s face flushed, and as it did Victor’s eyes began to pick up on the pink pigments of the blood beneath beautiful peachy skin. He stared, mesmerized as Yuuri continued, “I-I came in quietly a-and only calmed down when I saw you sketching.”

Victor could tell from the stuttering that Yuuri was also experiencing this new phenomena. He rose to his feet, and Yuuri’s blush deepened as Victor leaned closer over the counter.

The spread of color only lured Victor in. Yuuri froze as the pale hand of an artist rested against his hot cheek. He gulped, but willed himself to continue talking-- to distract himself from the fact that Victor’s face was approaching his own with dangerous speed.

“If you were sketching me... I knew you had to be as occupied by me as I am by you.” Yuuri’s eyes drew closed as if by gravity.

“Yuuri.” Victor whispered, “You’re so cute.”

Before Yuuri’s face had the chance to burn brighter, Victor’s closed any short distance still left between them, connecting two bodies by the lips for one brief moment.

Victor simply looked at his soulmate, his amused, heart-shaped smile full of fondness. Yuuri stood absolutely still, shocked expression lingering longer than either of them expected. Victor let out a small giggle.

This is going to be fun.

Yuuri finally cleared his throat, though it did nothing to stop his voice from cracking as he spoke, “So, um... You said something about coffee...”

Victor laughed again. “I get off in about twenty minutes.” He reached to comb his fingers through a few tousled strands of Yuuri’s hair, “Think you can wait that long?”

Yuuri’s eyes trailed Victor’s every movement. He released a breath he had apparently been holding, a small cough escaping shortly after as he choked on his own saliva. “Y-yeah. I’ll just... um...” Yuuri looked around nervously, his mind unable to focus on how on Earth he could pass any amount of time away from the man in front of him.

“Why don’t you keep me company until then?” Victor smirked, pointing with his head over to a second stool behind the counter.

“O-okay.”

Victor lifted the small counter-top separator, ushering the Japanese man behind the divider and over to the stool before taking a seat himself. In the back of his mind he debated whether or not his boss would mind, but he doubted it. Nicolai was a kind man and the two were almost like family.

“So, Yuuri, tell me what project you’re working on right now.” Victor gave his soulmate his full attention, lips turned up in an unwavering smile, blue eyes swimming with awe.

Unspeakable happiness flowed through Yuuri’s veins as he began, “Well...”

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #132 - Good Will Hunting

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) I find it interesting how when the opening credits say, “Written by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck,” it says Damon’s name over Affleck’s character and vice versa.

2) The first character in the film we really get to know is Stellan Skarsgård as Gerald Lambeau.

You get that Skarsgård has good intentions, even though he is a massive pretentious asshole who hits on his students and judges people not based on how happy they are but more their position in life. A janitor is a failure. A community college teacher is a failure. Any other opinions be damned. He’s not EXCLUSIVELY a bad guy though. You understand his intentions are good and he does learn as the film goes on, but damn if he isn’t just a prick for most of the film.

3) The first tavern scene is a nice way of introducing us to Will and his friends. It creates a sense of community between them and South Boston, a sense of character for every member of the group, and their relationships with each other.

4) Matt Damon as Will Hunting.

Will is a character who you really get to know over time, and that’s very nice. At first he largely keeps to himself and we get that he doesn’t care about power or prestige. At first that’s a noble thing, but then we learn that this is born less out of humility and more out of fear. Will is a flawed character. He convinces himself of all the disadvantages of somethings, of the shame of it, because he is petrified. His world, his life with his friends, that is safe for him. That is home. And he doesn’t really risk to go for more than that because of his fear of rejection (identified by Robin Williams’ Sean Maguire later in the movie). I think this - along with the beatings he sustained as a child - fuels the aggression we see (and later hear about) when he picks a fight with an old kindergarden bully for no other reason than he just felt like it (and then doesn’t stop until the cops show up).

But Will is SMART. And not like a little smart either, but incredibly intelligent. He’s not afraid to show it either, he doesn’t hide it when he feels a need to use it. But he doesn’t brag about it either. He is not in his friends’ faces with it with an, “I’m so much smarter than you,” attitude. Matt Damon - the film’s cowriter with Ben Affleck - plays Will’s many facets very well. This film is incredibly well cast and most of the actors when you’re watching them don’t FEEL like actors. They feel like the characters, totally and completely. Damon as the lead is no exception.

5) Can I just say: I LIVE for scenes in movies and moments in life where some pretentious condescending asshole is put in their place totally and completely? It’s so cathartic!

6) Minnie Driver as Skylar.

Can I just say I LOVE Skylar, even if she is at risk of falling into the category of manic pixie dream girl on paper. Minnie Driver’s academy award nominated performance in this film just makes her so much MORE than that! I love everything about Skylar: how she approaches Will at the bar and calls him an idiot for not asking her out, how she is able to hold her own against Will’s sense of humor and occasional bullshitting, her laugh, her honesty, her heart! The first time I watched this film I was in awe - more than anything else - with Driver’s realism in the part. She and Damon have knockout chemistry that not only suggests to you their heat but their friendship. It is totally believable that they fall in love in such a quick time, and that is because they work so fucking brilliantly with each other. There is sincerity, trust, comradery, humor, an ability to be themselves around each other. I believe Damon and Driver dated for a while after meeting on this film, and that chemistry shows. I just...gah! I love it so much!

7) Classic.

Will [to the douchebag from the bar]: “Do you like apples?”

Douchebag: “Yeah.”

Will [placing Skylar’s phone number on the glass between them]: “Well I got her number.”

8) The way Lambeau treats Will is...interesting, to say the least. At first it seems like he looks down at him. Like he’s his savior and he knows it. There’s a scene where after they’re done doing math together, Lambeau ruffles Will’s hair. Who the hell does that? It changes as the film goes on. You realize that Lambeau grows to understand that Will is truly an unmatched genius, but early on it’s...weird.

9) The string of psychiatrists Lambeau takes Will to see is very telling and very entertaining. It shows how smart Will is, but also how abrasive he is. How he scoffs at authority and the need for help. It’s a funny scene but it greatly tells to Will’s deeper struggles.

10) Robin Williams as Sean Maguire.

Williams won his first and only Oscar based on his performance in this film, and damn if it isn’t clear why. Williams is chameleonic. Yes you know its Robin Williams playing him, yes he brings some of his trademark improv comedy (more on that later), but you don’t SEE Williams. All you see is Sean, and that is incredible. Damon and Affleck took a character who could have easily been just the token mentor. The Obi-Wan to Will’s Luke Skywalker. But they did more. They gave Sean his own struggles, his own grief, his own desires, his own conflict, his own arc, and made a truly compelling character who can hold his own against Damon’s Will.

You learn a lot about Sean as the film goes along. You learn how his life is defined by his love and loss of his wife, you see that he is able to relate to actual people, that he hates the MIT snobs. The dude chokes Will out for insulting his wife at one point and is the first therapist to kick Lambeau out of his session. Meaning he takes his time with Will far more seriously than the other therapists.

The chemistry between Williams and Damon is on par with the chemistry between Driver and Damon, although of a fundamentally different nature. Williams as Sean is able to sift through Will’s bullshit, knows when he doesn’t need to put up with it, and is able to slowly make this character who is so afraid of rejection comfortable around him. I think it’s the key relationship in the film, and I love it.

11) Danny Elfman’s score in this film is beautiful. Elfman is known for his more macabre work through collaborations with directors like Tim Burton and Sam Raimi, but here he creates a hopeful and sincere melody which carries you through the film like a leaf on the wind. I think it’s great.

12) The scene where Sean is talking to Will on a park bench is somewhat iconic, but I think it is very powerful for one key reason: the filmmakers decided to keep it on William’s performance for most of the scene. They did not cut between him and Damon, they let his acting and his heart carry those minutes and it is incredible I think. You can watch for yourself if you so desire:

This is my favorite line from that monologue:

Sean: “You’re an orphan right. Do you think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been - how you feel, who you are - because I read Oliver Twist?”

People like to say they know what other people are going through, but unless they have personally they don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. Thank you to this film for having that line in there. I love it.

13) According to IMDb:

The lines in the scene when Sean talks about his late wife's farting antics were ad-libbed by Robin Williams. That is why Matt Damon was laughing so hard. If you watch the scene carefully you can notice the camera shaking a bit, possibly due to the cameraman laughing as well.

14) This film does an excellent job in balancing the aspects of Will’s life. We get the perfect looks at his relationship with his friends, with Skylar, with Sean, and with Lambeau. There’s not too much and there’s not too little, it’s just right.

15) It is interesting to see how Will lets his guard down with Skylar in some regards while also keeping it up in some ways (namely, lying about how he has 12 brothers).

16) I love Skylar’s story with Will’s friends.

Minnie Driver is gold.

17)

Lambeau [after Sean says they should let Sean go down his own path]: “It worked wonders for you didn’t it?”

Sean: “Yeah it did you arrogant fucking prick.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE HAS LIVED A GOOD LIFE IS NOT BASED ON THEIR STATURE. IT IS NOT BASED ON THEIR JOB, THEIR WEALTH, THEIR LOOKS, NOTHING LIKE THAT. IT IS EXCLUSIVELY BASED ON HOW HAPPY THEY ARE LIVING THEIR LIFE AND HOW MUCH PAIN THEY ARE OR ARE NOT CAUSING OTHERS!!!!

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

I have a lot of strong feelings on this matter, can you tell?

18) I love how Will explains the way his brain works. How he says Mozart and Beethoven could just look at a piano and play, that’s how his brain works with history and numbers and science and stuff. It actually makes a lot of sense despite being pretty vague.

19) Get ready to have your heart broken by Will being a fucking idiot.

GODDAMN IT WILL!!!!!

20) Will’s whole monologue about why he doesn’t take a job with the NSA because of what COULD happen and one hypothetical leading to another is just a perfect example of him using his intellect to rationalize his fears in a bullshit way.

Will [in a session with Sean]: “Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.”

21) One of my favorite scenes in this film is Chuckie’s reaction after Will says he’s going to stay in south Boston his whole life.

Chuckie: “Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way but, in 20 years if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house, watchin' the Patriots games, workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill ya. That's not a threat, that's a fact, I'll fuckin' kill ya.”

He is like the only one - between Skylar, Sean, and Lambeau - to actually get through to Will. And that is because he speaks Will’s language. It’s one of my favorite character moments in the film.

22) I do really love the climax of the film (Sean telling Will, “It’s not your fault,” for his foster dad beating on him and Will breaking down into tears) even if I’m aware of some of it’s flaws. This is a turning point for Will, but if he were in therapy in real life this wouldn’t be the end. Also most therapists don’t treat their patients this way. But that’s the beauty of fiction: we have this thing called suspension of disbelief which makes movies fun to watch! :D

23) I think the ending for this film is quite lovely. So many different ideas from earlier play into effect, Will goes to make up with Skylar (headcanon: he gets her back after much groveling and attempts to convince her he’s changed), and what Matt Damon said was Robin Williams’ best improvised line in the film.

Will [in a note he leaves for Sean]: "Sean, if the Professor calls about that job, just tell him, sorry, I have to go see about a girl."

Good Will Hunting is a classic of cinema. It features excellent writing that features a heartwarming story, supported by incredible performances across the board. Williams, Damon, and Driver are all particular standouts, but the film is just so good. Perhaps a little overrated, but still incredible. Go see it!

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'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

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'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

As the season heats up on the big screen, Guardian writers look back on their picks from the past with killer sharks, mournful crime-fighters and time-traveling teens

Face/Off (1997)

Photograph: Allstar/Cinetext/PARAMOUNT

Madman bomber Nicolas Cage stole John Travoltas dead sons life. So gloomy FBI agent Travolta steals Cages face. When Cage steals his face and his wife and freedom John Woos Face/Off becomes the biggest, wackiest and most operatic summer blockbuster in history, a gonzo combustion that flings everything from pigeons to peaches at the screen.

Hong Kong cineastes might applaud a script with roots in the ancient Sichuan opera genre Bian Lian, where performers swap masks like magic. Popcorn-munchers, of which I am front row center, are here to watch whack job Cage and soulful Travolta, two actors who love to go full-ham, play each other and go deep inside their iconographies. Call it hamception. Or just call it a crazy swing that hits a home run as Cavolta and Trage battling it out in a warehouse, a speedboat and, of course, a church. As Cage-as-Travolta gloats to Travolta-as-Cage, Isnt this religious? The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners but youre still not having any fun! Maybe hes not, but we sure are. Bravo, bravo. AN

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Photograph: David James/Publicity image from film company

Theres been an increasing sense of desperation clinging to the majority of roles picked by Tom Cruise in recent years. Outside of the still shockingly entertaining Mission: Impossible series, he was miscast in the barely serviceable Jack Reacher and its maddeningly unnecessary sequel, his awards-aiming American Made was throwaway and his franchise-starting The Mummy was a franchise-killer. But four summers ago, he picked the right horse just maybe at the wrong time.

Because despite how deliriously fun Edge of Tomorrow was in the summer of 2014, audiences didnt show the requisite enthusiasm. It was a moderate success (enough to warrant a long-gestating sequel) but it should have packed them in, its combination of charm, invention and sheer thrills making it one of the most objectively successful blockbuster experiences in memory. The nifty plot device (Cruise must relive a day of dying while battling aliens over and over again) allowed for some dark gallows humor and a frenetic pace that kept us all giddily on edge while it also contained a dazzling action star turn from Emily Blunt whose fearless Full Metal Bitch wrestled the film away from Cruise. Blame its relative failure on the bland title? Cruise fatigue? Blockbuster over-saturation? Then find a digital copy to watch and rewatch and repeat. BL

Back to the Future (1985)

Photograph: Allstar/UNIVERSAL/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

Back to the Future very nearly wasnt a summer blockbuster. The reshoots required after Eric Stoltz was booted off, then the fact Michael J Foxs Family Ties commitments meant he could only shoot at night all meant filming didnt wrap until late April. Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg duly pencilled in an August / September release.

But then people started seeing it. Test scores were off the scale. Said producer Frank Marshall: Id never seen a preview like that. The audience went up to the ceiling. So they bagsied the best spot the year had to offer 3 July hired a squad of sound editors to work round the clock and two print editors with instructions to get properly choppy. They did, and those big trims tightened yet further one of the tautest screenplays (by Bob Gale) cinema has ever seen. The only bit of fat they left was the Johnny B Goode scene: sure, it didnt advance the story, but the kids at those test screenings knew we were gonna love it. Back to the Future is a pure shot of summer cinema: grand, ambitious, insanely entertaining. Deadpool, Avengers, take note: a blockbuster can be smart as hell so long as it wears it lightly. In the end, by the way, the film spent 11 weeks at number 1 at the US box office. Thats essentially the whole summer. CS

Teminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Photograph: Allstar/TRISTAR/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

The first film I ever saw at the cinema was The Rocketeer. We drove into Bradford city centre, bought our tickets at the Odeon and sat through the 1991 tale which followed the fortunes of a stunt pilot, a rocket pack and a Nazi agent played by Timothy Dalton who sounded like he was from Bury rather than Berlin. The way into the multiplex there was a huge poster for Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Arnie sat on a Harley with a shotgun cocked and ready. My dad was a huge fan of the original but he still couldnt swing taking a seven-year-old to see it. It wasnt until I borrowed a VHS copy that I finally got to see what was behind that image. Skynet, dipshits, T-1000s, a nuclear holocaust and a motorbike chases on the LA river.

Blockbusters dont usually have that edge: theres a more brazen mainstream appeal. But Judgment Day was and still is an exception. It did huge numbers at the box office (more than $500m), was a rare sequel that was arguably better than the original and introduced really odd bits of Spanish idiom into the Bradford schoolyard lexicon. I probably would have been scarred for life watching it as a seven-year-old, but as a teenager it gave me a story I doubt Ill ever get tired of revisiting. LB

The Dark Knight (2008)

Photograph: Allstar/WARNER BROS.

The summer of 2008 was a busy one: Barack Obama emerged from a contentious democratic primary to become the first ever black presidential nominee of a major party. The dam fortifying the entire global financial system was about to burst. China hosted its first ever Summer Olympics. But somehow, and not exactly to my credit, what I remember most from that summer is the uncanny, ridiculously over-the-top publicity blitzkrieg that preceded the release of The Dark Knight, which has since emerged as not just an all-time great summer blockbuster, but an all-time great American film, period.

There were faux-political billboards that read I believe in Harvey Dent; a weirdly nondescript website of the same name; Joker playing cards dispersed throughout comic book stores, which led fans to another website where the DA was defaced with clown makeup. Dentmobiles, Gotham City voter registration cards, a pop-up local news channel: the marketing campaign might have seemed excessive had the movie not so convincingly topped it. Ten years later, as films like Deadpool and Avengers: Infinity War try to reach those same heights of virality, The Dark Knight remains the measuring stick by which every superhero movie, and superhero villain, is measured. JN

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Photograph: Jasin Boland/AP

In many ways, Fury Road is summer: arid, scorching, bright enough to be squinted at. The driving force behind all the high-impact driving is scarcity of water, the essence of life in a desert where death practically rises up from the burning sand. Even in the air-conditioned comfort of a multiplex auditorium in Washington DCs Chinatown, watching George Millers psychotic motor opera left this critic sweaty and parched. My world is fire and blood, warns the weary Max Rockatansky (Tom Hardy) in the scripts opening lines. Staggering out of a theater into the oppressive rays of the sun, it sure can feel that way.

Millers masterpiece fits into the summer blockbuster canon in a less literal capacity as well, striking its ideal balance of dazzling technical spectacle and massively-scaled emotional catharsis. There was plenty of breathless praise to go around upon this films 2015 release, much of it for the feats of practical-effects daring, but the hysterical extremes of feeling cemented its status as a modern classic. I cant deny that Ive watched the polecat sequence upwards of a dozen times, but Millers film truly comes alive in Furiosas howl of desperation, and in Maxs noble disappearance into the throng. CB

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Its the music, its the giant boulder, its the Old Testament mysticism, its the whip, its the Cairo Swordsman, its Harrison Fords crooked smile, its the bad dates, its Karen Allen drinking a sherpa under the table, its the melted faces and exploding heads. Its all these things plus having the good fortune of seeing this at the cinema at a very young age, therefore watching most of it through my terrified fingers. (Indy tells Marion to keep her eyes shut during the cosmic spooky ending; way ahead of you there!)

The modern blockbuster as we know it was created by Steven Spielberg with Jaws and George Lucas with Star Wars, so the hype was unmatched when the two collaborated in 1981 with Raiders of the Lost Ark. As a kid I had no idea this was a loving homage to cliffhanger serials from the 30s and 40s, I took it as pure adventure. The seven-and-a-half minute desert truck chase (I dont know, Im making thus up as I go) is probably the best action sequence in all of cinema (John Woos Hard Boiled does not have a horse, sorry), but watching as an adult one notices a lot of sophisticated humor, too. (Indy being too exhausted to make love to Marion, for example, is something that didnt connect when I was six.)

Its strange to think I watched these cartoon Nazis on VHS with my grandparents who had escaped the Holocaust, and no one benefits when you do the math to figure out how young Marion was when, as Indy puts it, you knew what you were doing. But for thrills, laughs and propulsive camerawork (though a little mild Orientalism), nothing tops this one. JH

Independence Day (1996)

Photograph: Everett/REX/Shutterstock

Short of actually calling their film Summer Blockbuster, rarely can a films height-of-summer release date been so central to a films raison detre. This being the mid-90s, when po-mo and self-referentiality was all the rage, brazenly hooking your tentpole film to 4 July was seen as a pretty smart idea.

Fortunately, all the ducks did line up in a row for ID4: a game-changing performance from Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum at (arguably) his funniest, a rousingly Clintoneque president in Bill Pullman and most importantly in that run-up to the millennium physical destruction on a gigantic scale. Much comment at the time was expended on the laser obliteration of the White House (an early shot from the Tea Party/Maga crowd?), but I personally cherish director Roland Emmerichs signature move of detonating cars in somersault formation. Like many other huge-budget films then and since, Independence Day was basically a tooled-up retread of cheap-as-chips format of earlier decades though who these days would roll such expensive dice on what is essentially an original script, with no comic book or toy branding as a forerunner? We shall never see its like again. AP

Aliens (1986)

Photograph: Allstar/20 CENTURY FOX/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

An Aliens summer is one for moviegoers who prefer to sit in in darkened rooms when the sun is shining; the brutal confines of the fiery power plant make an excellent subliminal ad for air conditioning. In 1986, James Cameron took Ridley Scotts elegant, iconic horror template and turned it into an all-out action blockbuster, forcing Ripley once again to face down her nemeses in a breathless fug of claustrophobia, sweat and fear. Its relentlessly stressful and unbelievably thrilling.

I first saw Aliens many years after its initial release. Owing to its sizeable and long-lasting legacy, it was at once immediately familiar, yet also brisk and brutally fresh. I understood that it was a classic, but I wasnt prepared for just how good it is, for the pitch-perfect management of tension, the pace that never really lets up, the emotional pull. The maternal undertow of Ripleys protection of Newt, and the alien mirror of that, adds a level of heart unusual in most blockbusters, and her frustration at being a woman whose authority must be earned again and again, and then proven again and again, remains grimly relevant, 30 years on. Its also a total blast. Now get away from her, you bitch. RN

Jaws (1975)

Photograph: Fotos International/Getty Images

It is the great summer blockbuster ancestor the film that in 1975 more or less invented the concept of the event movie. And unlike all those other summer blockbusters, Steven Spielbergs Jaws is actually about the summer; it is explicitly about the institution of the summer vacation, into which the movie was being sold as part of the seasonal entertainment. It is about the sun, the sand, the beach, the ocean and the entirely justified fear of being eaten alive by an enormous shark with the appetite of a serial killer and the cunning of a U-boat commander. And more than that: it is about that most contemporary of political phenomena: the coverup, the town authorities at a seaside resort putting vacationers at risk by not warning them about the shark. The Jaws mayor has become comic shorthand for the craven and pusillanimous politician.

A blockbuster nowadays means spectacular digital effects, but this film is from an analogue world. It bust the block through brilliant film-making and an inspired score from John Williams, summoning up the shark with a simple two-note theme which became the most famous musical expression of evil since Bernard Herrmanns shrieking violin stabs in Psycho took the place of actual knife-slashing. I still remember the excitement of the summer of 1975, and the queues around the block at the Empire, in Watford, round the corner from the football ground. The inspired brevity of the title meant the word was repeated over and over again to fill the marquee display: JAWS JAWS JAWS as if they were screaming it! PB

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