#there is no point haha i mean personal fulfillment? i guess but its not that fulfilling to not have the chance to show ppl your work

[fitzrove]

WHAT'S THE POINT

[vaguely-concerned]

Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)

The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)

The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.)  This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that. 

(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)   

The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them. 

I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve → I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly. 

And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much. 

I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.) 

Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.

[the-old-book-town]

I dedicate this post to @mejomonster because it would have never crossed my mind to research on my own if you hadn’t told me about hanzi radicals linking to the pronunciation! I didn't think there could be a logic given how many different readings a single kanji can have compared to its equivalent hanzi.

Well, I never did study kanji extensively, which explains why I never knew that some radicals are connected to the pronunciation in Japanese - it seems to be common knowledge among people who are more proficient in the language, but it's almost never mentioned in language learning materials, ostensibly, because people think it's not useful enough to teach.

They're called phonetic components. And they're not as useful as the hanzi equivalent, but they do exist. There are a few caveats in their usefulness: 1) it only applies to on readings, 2) it's not always clear which component is the phonetic one and which is the radical (radical here meaning the one the kanji is classified under in the dictionary), 3) only 67% of kanji have phonetic components, and 4) about 25% of those have irregular readings.

This online dictionary lists the meaning of each kanji and the phonetic component they're linked by.

This article provides a list and discusses this a bit, scroll down to the "Phonetic Compounds and Their Kanji".

This webpage describes some of the research behind the components and two people who put in a lot of work to compiling the list.

I feel stupid for never realizing there is a relationship between the reading and the component, because one kanji/radical I've seen a million times makes it super clear and I just thought it was...a coincidence? I guess??

For example:

The on reading of 義 is gi - alone it is the 'righteous duty' character. It is also part of the following kanji: 儀 as in 儀式 (gishiki, ceremony) and 犠 as in 犠牲 (gisei, sacrifice).

Kanji readings are still difficult, granted, but at least there is some logic to some of the on readings. I don't know if they share some of the same phonetic-component relations as their Chinese counterparts, they might not, or they might but again are more related to an older Chinese language and not so much Mandarin.

For example, 牙 is ga in Japanese but yá in Mandarin and ngaa4 in Cantonese.

For kun readings...there's no logic but only 37% of the dictionary is kun readings, and 53% are on readings, according to one of the articles? If that makes it better haha?

I personally find kun readings way easier to remember. In fact, most of the kanji I know, I identify by their kun readings. 川 is kawa first to me, and 山 is yama, not sen and san.

So, yes, might not be useful for a lot of people, but it's certainly interesting. And at least demystifies kanji a little bit, which is always nice. People, including myself, are always saying how hard kanji is to study, and it's definitely true, but it also becomes almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy at some point.

"It's so confusing, I'm never going to remember them all" and such. But that's why it's interesting to learn different tricks to learn them. It might not help some people, but for example, this makes more sense for me than using mnemonics or making up stories to remember kanji. Even if it only helps me learn a few dozen kanji, that's still more than I would have acquired otherwise (or, at least, not without another 10 years of seeing it over and over again until it finally clicks in my head).

[aajjks]

mommy issues!JK

“stupid bitch”

chaeyoung did hear jungkook and when she sees you walking into the cafeteria not too far behind him with a smile on your face, she’s livid. obviously the two of you were talking in private and she’s beginning to realize just how far you’re drifting from her grasp.

with every interaction, you’re slipping further and further into jungkook’s arms and she can’t afford that. she thought bringing your trauma up would make you grow distant from the lover-boy but its only be drawing the two of you closer.

a little too close…

however, eunwoo is happy upon hearing jungkook brag about scoring both a kiss and a date with you, just as he predicted. he knew things would work out between you two and he could tell you felt bad about what happened which proved jungkook’s rant wrong.

you’re not cold hearted, just a scared girl hesitant about putting their heart in another person’s hand but he knows jungkook will take good care of you but all you have to do is give him a chance.

“sounds like you don’t need $100 when you just won the lottery” smirks eunwoo as he points to the evidence you left on his friend’s lips. “where did you go, daddy?” pouts seol as he finishes eating the last bit of his lunch.

“guess what seol? your father was talking to ms. y/n”

“you were? you were talking to mommy? u-um ms. y/n?”

“he sure was. they even shared cooties, seol. ewww”

“hehehe ewww daddy!!! you have cooties” giggles seol and areum.

after their lunch break was over, everyone was back to touring the aquarium but it wouldn’t be a real tour without you and jungkook exchanging looks. when no one was looking, he’d come and talk to you, bump into you on purpose, or you’d come around and spend time with seol and areum.

however, chaeyoung sees it all.

the flirting, the subtle touches, everything.

when you wander off to converse with another parent and eunwoo has both seol and areum, chaeyoung takes it upon herself to sneak up on jungkook when he isn’t looking.

“stupid bitch, huh?” says chaeyoung. “you’re stupid if you think y/n is gonna want to be with you. do yourself a favor and leave my girl alone before i tell nara”

~🫧

Ah she annoys the fuck out of him.

“Hmm yes you’re a stupid bitch. You see yn as a way to fulfill your explicit desires, you even tried to include me in them.” Jungkook smirks.

Her threats mean nothing. She wants to tell her? she can. Jungkook gets closer to her, he looks into her eyes, all relaxed.

“and why won’t she want to date me? Ahhh you should see the way she kisses me- you were just a fling to her-I am the real deal. I am what she needs.” Jungkook thinks that chaeyoung is so pathetic that she thinks that she can compare to him.

“You wanna be a tattletale and tell my business to some psychotic bitch? Sure. She doesn’t own me. Yn is an adult, I am an adult. This is our business. I won’t tolerate someone coming between us.”

Jungkook glares at her. “it will take me less than a minute to snap your fucking neck.” He laughs, a dark glint in his eyes. “Nara is in desperate need of some pills.” He rolls her eyes.

“Stay the fuck away from my yn and my son. because I know what you have been up to with one of your students mom haha.”

[kendrixtermina]

Another Thing Chibnall can't do right: Audience Surrogates

I'm going to start this last rant with one illustrative question: Why isn't Ryan Sinclair popular?

He is consistently considered the blandest out of a cast of terribly bland, flavorless characters, but why?

Cause let's look at a purely 'theoretical' description of his character: He's a warehouse worker who experienced dicrimination & frustrating shit because of his disability & racism, he has a messy complicated family situation that he's salty about, he likes videogames, experimental music and making youtube videos.

On paper, he sounds like Mr. Relatable Millenial. Why didn't ppl eat his character up? Cause it's not like there isn't an appetite for it, ppl had been clamoring for black main characters, disabled peeps, more working class protags, what have you. There's demand.

Now I generally consider 'Relatable' a a false god & I'm the first to get angry when someone argues all characters need to be 'relatable everymen'. RTD loved that trope a lot & then ppl got mad when Moffat wasn't RTD and loudly proclaimed that no real person would relate to Moffat's characters (I guess I don't exist then...), it always pisses me off when ppl claim their experiences are universal or that they will only care about characters who are similar to them as if experiencing the PoVs of other wasn't the point of storytelling.

So the issue is NOT that I think all characters need to be Relatable Everymen. The issue is that Chibnall tried to write one & failed spectacularly.

I wanna argue that the reason for this is that he doesn't know who the audience is, and that he treats the supposed audience with mockery & condescension.... though really, most of all, he's simply out of touch with it. To make an audience surrogate type character & have it land, you need to correctly understand the audience.

Notice what tone is present when something from pop culture is referenced - for example, when Tzim Sha's victim is listening to affirmations on his headphones, its looking to be mocking ppl who do that.

Ryan shows more emotion about things being deleted from his phone than his life being threatened, landing on an alien planet or finding a desolate future earth. "Haha millenials obsessed with phones!" ...who is that joke FOR? What feelings is it likely to evoke towards Ryan?

'Climate Change Bad' is treated like it would be a totally new idea to Yaz & Ryan, who are supposed to be part of a generation that grew up with climate anxiety all their lives as a reason to be cynical

The Doctor needs to lecture them about who Nicola Tesla is, they're treated as having no clue... even though there's, like, a car brand named for him & loads of tumblr posts.

Likewise, Ryan needs to be lectured by everyone about who Rosa Parks was

etc. etc.

The same refrain all over again: Young people are dumb, young people are silly, we wrote these characters as dumb & silly because that's what we think YOU GUYS are like.

Does anybody LIKE being called dumb & silly? Are people likely to like the character used to represent their dumbness & sillyness?

I get the need to maybe exposition things for young viewers, but that can probably be contrived in some way without making the characters you're supposed to like seem dumb. With the Nikola Tesla thing, for example, how about having Graham have no idea who he is? I don't mean make him ignorant, but genuinely interested to learn.

By contrast, let's look at some other 'relatable youngster' characters & how they're treated:

Rose Tyler very much evokes a typical mid 2000s mainstream pop culture, with her bleach blonde hair & bleached flared jeans etc. You can easily imagine that she probably dyed her hair to copy Britney spears, Kylie Minogue or Christina Aguilera, like a lot of girls back then. She effectively winds up in one of the fantasy romance stories that were popular back then. She gets what's kind of a wish fulfillment story of finding out she has the potential to be badass & make a difference after being treated as a fuckup.

Courtney Woods is a rebellious teen considered difficult by her parents/teachers & labelled a 'disruptive influence'. When she introduces herself as such, the Doctor instantly likes her & respects her rebel cred. She is treated as having great intuition & being unintimidated by effective authority figures such as Clara... and that's cool & an opportunity for Clara to learn. Likewise, when he off-handedly says something that hurts her feelings, it is not played as an an 'oversensitive teen' joke but rather Clara makes the Doctor apologize & make it up to her. We are also told that despite struggling with a rigid environment at school, she becomes succesful later in life because of that same strong personality.

Rose Noble is sort of the typical image of gen Y, complete with colorful hair & pronouns. She is really into arts & crafts, makes those 'creepy cute' plushies that she sells online, but in her IRL surroundings she experiences bullying. You can easily imagine her having an AO3 or a crafts-themed tiktok. She is in one of those 'found family wholesome hurt/comfort' stories that are popular nowadays & has the protective mom many teens wish they had.

To summarize:

Their experiences are validated & affirmed, not mocked

pop culture references are used to characterize them & connect them to the audience

From the framing it's clear that we're supposed to like these characters and that they're awesome. That doesn't mean that they don't have flaws or insecurities (indeed those are a big part of what make them relatable) but they're the kind of insecurities someone in their life situation would have. (Rose T. is a tad jealous cause she worries about her love interest finding someone more impressive, Courtney doesn't show insecurity but responds by acting out, but has a thing about being unimportant/not special, Rose N. feels alienated from her peers & out of place)

the stories they get cater to wish fullfillment, which is possible due to knowledge of what these groups of people like

It would have taken a half hour google search for Chibnall to find out what the wishes & dreams of someone like Ryan would look like. IDK, find some blog posts by warehouse workers, ppl with dyspraxia, millenials etc.

One thing that's been pointed out for example is that we never really see WHY Ryan wants to learn to ride a bike. If it's just to please his parental figures, wouldn't a better arc be that they realize he doesn't need to be able to do that just to prove he can and appear "normal", rather than 'look he concentrated & climbed a ladder after all!' Like many actual disabled ppl say they're annoyed about 'shaking off the disability' type stories.

Or, he could relate to getting the chance to adventure as an escape from his lowkey dystopian frustrating life where he deals with many unfair things, or latch onto the Doctor as a mentor after losing his parental figures, or maybe worry that someone who struggles with some physical activities isn't a fit for adventuring but then realize that he can contribute in other ways like asking good questions & thinking. (especially when Yaz is a better fit for the action scenes as someone who presumably had police training)

You could have an interesting unique team dynamic this way:

Yaz could be the competent, badass one, but believing in order & authority tends to just follow/ hero worship the doctor eventually leading into the bit where she develops a crush on her, Graham is the caution/common sense similar to Rory or Donna, maybe looking to protect the younger protags but also gradually having his horizons broadened, and Ryan could get to be the heart & emotional core of the group & the one who questions the Doctor more due to being more jaded from his shitty life while also wanting to escape from it...

Like. If you gave the same list of character traits to a more competent writer, you could've ended up with such complex, dynamic & interesting characters that ppl would have been all over.

[allgrrl78]

Some realizations for 2023:

This year sucks, haha! But there’s no way but up. It’s an uphill battle but I’ll get through this

You may lose everything, but choose which ones are worth recovering

The people who made you the happiest are the same people who will make you the loneliest

Never, ever be with people who make you feel alone when you’re with them

Avoid unhappy and bitter people. You’re not their shock absorber. You can be supportive, but never be a doormat

Be understanding to people who don’t understand themselves.

Always pray and be discerning. Learn to address and accept when something is no longer serving its purpose.

God gives and takes away. All you gotta do is trust Him

I’ve never really gotten over the dream that was taken away from me when I was 23 years old. It’s time I make peace with that. Seeing you again after all these years brought back the lost dream, but I’m glad I can cry about it and then go on. This chapter has ended and will not be continued by another person.

I’ve never met a person so unhappy and bitter. And all I have is just the curiosity as to why you ended up like that. All I know is you can blame me all you want, but you can’t deny that all I did was force you to confront your shadow self

I’m happiest when I’m fulfilled. I’m happiest when I feel safe. I’m happiest when I’m on the side of truth - even if it’s not what I wished it would be.

I dreamed you told me the real reason why you connected with me. It wasn’t love. But I was relieved to know that I finally got the truth. It finally made sense.

I feel happier now knowing I’m free. No responsibilities

I loved you but also dreaded dealing with you. I admit, I was trying to get answers even though I already know the reality. It was exhausting.

Hmm, I guess I wish you the best? Or more of I don’t wish ill on you.

I don’t think I’ll miss you this time. It was such a bad experience these past few weeks. Like you were a brick tied around my neck and I was drowning.

It’s always sad when the people you love change. It’s sadder when they blame it on you. It’s saddest when they don’t accept their responsibility

I can love as much as I can, but when I’m exhausted, I can walk away and never look back.

You were just a lesson after all

I’m ready to let this year go. I couldn’t bear the pressure anymore - it will just make me resent this person if I held on

I’ll always doubt who you are. And that’s unfair to both of us. To the next person, be fair to her. Let her know who you are. You can’t hide behind your lies forever

You underestimated me. You were scared of me and yet the funny thing is, everything I found out about you just fell on my lap. I never even had to dig. I have a powerful angel over my shoulder protecting me from deceit.

You do you. But not with me. Apart from intelligence, I crave authenticity.

I was in a rush for us to build this relationship because I didn’t want to pay to talk to you. From the beginning I told myself I will just give it a year. Time’s up!

Wow, I just realized how tired I was of the bullshit. You will always find excuses. It was laughable how you sounded robotic when you were “loving” and just plain mean when you were bitter. And you passed it off as me not being right in the head? Hahaha. The depths a man will sink into when he’s so unhappy with himself is such a turn off.

It’s funny because I will not remember you as a cheerful person. You said so yourself, you’re bitter.

It’s different this time - I’m not afraid of disconnecting because I’ve asked for signs and it all points to this - “I will make things new”. Sadly, you’re not invited to the table - this is what my inner voice is saying.

I did try to contend with my inner voice - but no more.

It will always be better to live in the truth than be enslaved in a fantasy just to escape.

In the end, it had to take a woman like me to uncover the bitter truth. You won’t ever find a woman who can face the truth square on, accept that what has run its course and walk away. With her crown intact on her head.

[beesgav]

So... for the past few days I've been watching Steins;Gate.

I initially checked it out because. uh. truth be told it's because I thought one of the characters was cute, haha. As of my writing this I'm 9 episodes in and WOW I'm invested. Spoilers for those first 9 episodes up ahead, but I think I'm only just now getting really into the meat of the series so it shouldn't be anything major.

(before I get too deep into this, though, I have to confess - before fully committing to actually sitting down and watching it I read about half its TVT page, so unfortunately I did spoil myself on some pretty major things coming up. So I do have a bit more insight into why certain characters act the way they do than I really should, and I really wish I didn't bc I think it'd be more fun to learn naturally :P whoops.)

I also very vaguely remember seeing a chunk of the first episode at a convention years ago, so for the longest time my impression of Steins;Gate was "oh, that's the anime where they have a microwave that can turn bananas into gel" which is not an unfair impression to get. There's a lot of gel bananas in the first few episodes.

---

On the whole I felt the show started a bit slowly, and I probably still would have felt that way if I'd gone into it completely blind. I don't think it's a bad thing because it allows the show to establish its central character relationships very strongly before it starts getting more action-oriented. It feels very day-to-day at first, with a lot of time spent on how the characters interact and the new characters they meet as they're slowly setting up the literal plot device of the phone microwave. It takes them around 6 episodes to build the time machine the series is known for and another 2 to fully figure out how it works, and while I absolutely wouldn't've sacrificed anything they did spend that time on for the sake of getting to that point faster, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a point where I was starting to wonder when they were going to start time traveling. Again, could be a side effect of "I know these beats are going to happen, I just don't know when" and I should've gone in totally blind, but...

I want to say here that I'm not the biggest fan of the show's color palettes, especially for outdoor scenes- I think I get what it's going for and it certainly conveys a mood, it just personally isn't my thing. Not really relevant, but wanted to get it out of the way early on.

---

I was not expecting to like Okabe as much as I do. Going in I honestly thought his design was pretty boring, which I mean. The mundanity of the characters and the world is kind of the point, but still.

and then he turned out to be Weird and oh no I really like watching him and how he interacts with people. He has this elaborate spy-fiction fantasy that the people around him just kind of have to either adapt to, indulge in, or just put up with. He's rude and standoffish and proud but he's dealing with interesting enough things that people (Makise) have no choice but to continue interacting with him, which slowly gives them insight into his true personality.

Later on it becomes clearer that these fantasies pretty much act as a coping mechanism for the fact Okabe doesn't really know how to let people get close to him, as well as to fulfill a deep-seated desire to feel important and like he has control over things- he'll brush off moments of emotional vulnerability or honesty by acting like it was all part of a grand plan, or deal with moments of uncertainty or when he feels like he's losing control of a situation by making himself feel like it's an outside threat he has to overcome. People have forced him to give up the act by just. not giving him what he wants until he's honest, and it's clear that this makes him feel like the narrative is being taken out of his hands, which he obviously dislikes. If I were to guess I'm assuming his main character growth arc is going to be about growing out of these habits and facing the world head-on, letting go of the need to be/feel in control of everything.

So needless to say it's very interesting to see someone who needs to feel deeply important suddenly be important and not know how to deal with the ramifications of the control he suddenly actually has. He has the ability to go back and change history while retaining the memories of what actions he took to change that history, but right now is figuring out that the actions he's taking as he's exercising this newfound control have massive ramifications that he doesn't know how to influence.

---

Mayuri is an interesting character to watch. She's a bit spacey and at least seems airheaded (and she won't stop staring at the sun), but also. she's the only member of the Future Gadget Lab who actually earns an income. She plays along with Okabe's fantasizing somewhat (moreso than Daru or Makise do, at least) but still recognizes him as who he is, to his chagrin. She's also definitely the closest to Okabe at this point, given that they're Unspecified Childhood Friends, and out of everyone he's probably kindest to her? He still sees her as someone to order around, but he also seems to just enjoy spending non-FGL-related time with her.

I do like how genuinely kind she is and how easily she gets along with the other characters, including the just-met Makise, Suzuha, and Moeka. She definitely has a social aspect that the FGL badly needs, and it's nice especially to see her and Makise's dynamic. I can't say I'm a big fan of the fact she doesn't seem to get innuendo, just because it feels a bit... archetypal? It's the most obvious joke to go for with a character like her, but with the surrounding characters there it's not too bad.

I feel a bit bad for not having more to say about her, I feel like we'll learn more about her as the series continues from this point. It's evident that she's had some kind of loss at some point before the series, and I'm assuming that'll be explored more as time goes on (it's also making me realize that aside from Makise and Luka, nobody's parents have come up yet). I do like that calling the future emails "d-mails", as in short for "delorian mail", was her idea.

---

I knew going in I was gonna like Daru. I've always had a soft spot for geek/hacker/otaku-type characters and while I kinda wish they hadn't gone the full mile and also made him a bit of a pervert (again, most obvious joke to go with given his character archetype) it's honestly. not a pain to watch? Obviously it remains to be seen what happens in the rest of the series but so far it seems to have a handle on just how far to push the joke with him, so while it does come up sometimes, it never feels like they're going to pull something shocking, further evidenced by the fact that nobody really behaves like he's actually hurt someone.

so. just wanted to get that out of the way first since it's the most obvious counterpoint to liking this character.

But yeah, I like him. He's generally grounded enough to be a good balance to Okabe's eccentricities, but still has a fair few of his own. Despite these contrasts it's pretty clear why they're friends, and honestly I think there have been more scenes of Daru and Okabe hanging out together so far than of Okabe and Mayuri hanging out. He's unwilling to really go along with Okabe's dramatics and gets embarrassed when he's doing it in a public setting. At the same time he's just as interested in time travel as Okabe is, just more on the technical side, to the point where he was willing to work for two days straight hacking into a European company's systems essentially because Okabe, on a hunch, asked him to.

There hasn't been much indication of how Daru and Mayuri really interact other than Daru sometimes taking advantage of her naivete, but he has called Okabe out on taking advantage of her financially and they generally seem to get along just fine. I like that Daru respects Makise's intelligence on the subject of time travel more than Okabe does (initially, at least) and they seem to work together pretty well too.

Given that the series is from 2011, the phrases Daru uses (at least, as well as the subbing team translated them) come off as charming in a way that I don't exactly think was intended. The one thing I don't regret looking on TVTropes for is for the references he makes because otherwise they would've gone straight over my head.

---

Makise is great. I feel a bit bad talking about her so far down, but given how the order of relationships between characters was presented in the series it would've felt odd to talk about her earlier. She's at this point very clearly the main contrast to Okabe, with their interactions forcing them to reveal aspects of themselves they otherwise wouldn't, making the both of them into more well-rounded characters. She's clearly very intelligent, definitely moreso than Okabe, but with Okabe having stumbled upon a technology she thought was impossible, she has no choice but to put up with him to learn more about it and how it can be used. However, she's still very dry and unwilling to participate in Okabe's fantasies while being polite and friendly to everyone else, so it's always fun to see them interact, even with Okabe refusing to just call her by her name until she forces him to.

So far her main character arc seems to be confronting her analytic detachment to the things and people around her- Okabe calls her out on her not wanting to tamper with her own history and the past at large- she's very determined to keep facing forward no matter what, even presented with an opportunity to go back- but being perfectly fine with sitting aside and allowing others to tamper with history. Since joining the FGL, though, she's started to form friendships and connections with the other members- initially Mayuri, who I already said I loved her friendship with, but she gradually seems to be connecting with Okabe and Daru more as well.

She does warn Okabe about the butterfly effect and how small actions can have large unintended consequences, something which doesn't sink in for him until Okabe goes too far and alters the world beyond recognition, and I'm very curious to see what her thoughts on the damage/alterations he's caused are.

There's also, obviously, what she's dealing with from her parents. I haven't gotten far enough to have too much insight into how things will resolve, but having spoiled myself somewhat I certainly know Things are Afoot.

A smaller detail, which feeds back into her feeling/being isolated, is her disconnection from Japan, having spent time in America. Maybe it's just a personal thing because I haven't seen much anime in the grand scheme of things, but I thought the scene where she reads out the SERN reports Daru uncovers because she can read English while Okabe and Daru can't was a super cool use of that character detail. It's also fun that she later used it to make fun of Okabe in a test text, which Okabe only realized after the fact.

She's the character I'm probably the most interested in seeing how her story unfolds and how she develops, because she's definitely the most fun to watch.

---

Luka is adorable and I'm very worried that they're not gonna do her justice. Yeah, granted, I'm coming into this 2010s series with 2020s ideals, and in all honesty she's not disrespectfully handled, I feel. There are a few off-color comments made about her, but everyone pretty much immediately respects her wish to have been born a girl and are willing to give what she's asking for a try. Her ask also brings up a genuine conundrum for the issue of time travel: how can you send a message to a past before cell phones? They figure out a solution, but it's definitely something I'll be keeping in mind as the story continues: there's a limit on just how far back they can go based on the rules of the tech at play here.

Back on track with Luka as a character, her relationships with the others are very cute. She's close with Mayuri and surprisingly close with Okabe, being one of the ones most willing to just go along with his fantasy. Makise is, of course, instantly polite, and it's always nice to see her just have a normal friendship with someone. On the whole, very cute, Mayuri's just gotta remember that no means no next time.

---

Suzuha starts off fun and quickly becomes wildly interesting. She's probably the one I regret the most spoiling myself on, because I feel like it'd be so much more fun to learn her deal naturally, but oh well. My added insight does allow me to connect a few dots that an initial watcher may not have, and it remains to be seen if I'm right or if I'm completely off-base, connecting one thread with a thread that is supposed to be invisible to me at this point.

I really like her being so relaxed with the weird things Okabe, Daru, Mayuri, and Makise are getting up to and even helping Okabe out with parts shopping at one point. It's also very obvious even at this point how out-of-step she is with the rest of the world even if I'm not supposed to know the full extent of it yet. Again, oops.

Her reaction to first meeting Makise, of course, is what has me most intrigued, and has become one of the series' bigger mysteries by this point- what did Makise do to get her this on-edge around her?

---

I like pretty much all the characters in the show so far, but if there was one I was closest to disliking, it's Moeka. It's not that I even dislike her, either, it's just that at this point her behaviors have no explanation, and I know it's just because I'm still pretty early in on the series. It's very clear she has some kind of issue with communication, hence her communicating primarily through email over talking. But she's also very... driven, in a way that seems suspicious, especially when concerning the IBN 5100. It's surprising how lenient Okabe's been with her considering how paranoid about conspiracy he generally is. She's otherwise quiet and cold, which makes it hard for the other characters to form any kind of meaningful relationship with her. I'm curious to see what the show does with her moving forward and if I'll get more invested in her, because right now I (and the show, tbh) are much more interested in seeing how Okabe deals with the butterfly effect consequences of using the D-Mail system than I am in seeing what she's up to.

---

Feyris is really fun. I like that she's this idol that Daru adores, but is also just a person they know and seem to kind of be friends with- especially with Mayuri being her coworker. She's also a lot cleverer than she seems at first blush, but is also the most willing along with Luka to go along with Okabe's fantasy. At this point she's also set up a pretty big question- just what did she text back 10 years to change the city so much, and what happened to her dad in the previous world line? The aspect of her outward persona being this sunny, confident idol who doesn't look back or regret anything, but then as soon as she's given a chance to change her past she goes for it is also an archetypal character conflict to give her, but it's archetypal because it's immediately intriguing.

I keep expecting her to be revealed as another character I spoiled myself on and I'm slowly realizing it's probably not gonna happen. But does she really have pink drills??

Related, I also really like how her main outfit is her work uniform so in the intro it just looks like this show stars a catgirl. (I couldn't get the version of the shot with Makise in it because it went by too fast sorby)

---

I'm a really big fan of how the time travel mechanics work in this series- with the texts sent back in time essentially allowing Okabe to "slip"/"jump" from world line to world line, which represent the infinite outcomes that come from choices that affect how events play out. There seem to be some rules as to how these effects happen- whatever happens, Okabe has to wind up in the exact same geographical location as he was when he made the jump, despite the events leading up to that point inherently being different because of the text he sent back. It also seems like there's a threshold of interference- when Okabe tries to use the D-Mail to win the lottery, it causes a jump even though Luka gets the wrong ticket and they don't win, but when Okabe tries to use it to get Daru to win against Feyris in her board game competition, Daru loses anyway and the world line doesn't change, even though events in that same world line have now played out differently for Daru to have received Okabe's text.

In a way, it kind of reminds me of the copy/paste mechanics of SOMA? As in, with the simulation of the world lines all existing simultaneously, the original world line continues to persist while we switch perspective to the new one where the choice was made, but it's probably more accurate to think of each worldline being theoretical and only the one Okabe is currently in being the one that exists. It's probably the least headache-inducing explanation of time travel I've seen in media, since as they've established, sending anything more than a bit of information back in time doesn't work (well. it works, but not in a way that's useful to anyone) and each divergent choice is treated as its own timeline.

The central question of the series to me, at this point, is how did Okabe accidentally sending a text back in time to Daru, which he said he ignored because he thought it was spam, about Makise's stabbing at the radio building cause events to be rewritten in such a way that a satellite crashed into the building instead?

On the whole, I'm surprised by how much it grabbed me and I'm very eager to continue watching when I get a good chance to. I'm really liking it so far.

How much rambling about an anime i'm watching would you guys tolerate from me

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Dude socks was so domestic and cute and comforting I might cry!! Can I request a sirius black imagine where the reader is like a confident and fun/sarcastic person that is friends with the marauders and has a playful flirty relationship with sirius. They both like each other but the reader is kind of scared of commitment so they always take a step back whenever sirius takes a step forward and sirius finally corners them about it and finds out its readers insecurities and all ends well? Thanks!

She's not afraid [S.B]

Sirius Black x Reader

Word counts: 4.8k

A/N: This was a very entertaining request and it took a while because every day I feel like I'm going to pass out from nausea haha. But writing is super relaxing for me.

I was hoping it would be shorter and now I feel like something was missing, but I hope you like it. Especially you, nonny!

And thanks for your nice comment, I'm glad you liked "socks"

(The title refers to the song of one direction because it reminded me a lot of its lyrics)

"If you had to choose between a chocolate-flavored shit and a shit-flavored chocolate, what would you choose?" he murmured, his voice echoing through the room.

You and your friends were in the common room in the so-called “study group” that Remus had insisted on creating for the Defense Against the Dark Arts class and ended up with topics from the other subjects. It was true that everyone fulfilled the boy's whims, because none had the heart to say no to something (which he often took advantage of) and now every afternoon you met to read some documents, comment on your doubts and practice spells and even potions.

But if anyone couldn't take things seriously, he was Sirius.

The only thing that kept it there was his love for Moony and also the opportunity to watch you study for a full hour. Or watch you do anything, to be honest.

Everyone frowned at Sirius' question, not understanding the nature of it. James, who was the only one who could listen to him, was busy analyzing a herbology book in detail. And by analyzing I mean sleeping on top of it.

“The chocolate-flavored shit, of course. What good would it do you to have chocolate if it tastes awful?" you answered seriously. Suddenly all eyes in the room were on you and most of them seemed half disgusted half confused. "What? Sirius asked" you said shrugging your shoulders and pointing at him with an open palm. The young man grinned widely and you returned the same smile, both of you holding back the urge to laugh.

"I can always trust you, pretty," he said happily. "And now that I think about it, you're very far from me, don't you think? Let me get closer” he murmured determinedly, getting up from his seat with a book in hand and all the intention of placing himself in the same armchair as you. But halfway there an arm stopped him abruptly.

"Go back to your seat," Remus demanded, not looking away from his book. Sirius complained.

"Why?" he said indignantly. You turned your gaze to the notes you were analyzing, but the smile on your mouth didn't fade and Sirius noticed.

“Because having the two of you together is having a time bomb. Go back to your seat,” he murmured just as seriously. Sirius watched him and in the middle of his tantrum he wrinkled his whole face trying to imitate Remus "I can see you Sirius"

"Since you've been a prefect, you have become unbearable," he muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," he replied like a little boy, dropping on the couch and taking the book from him again in the middle of a snort. You watched him with amusement and he stared back at you, so you mouthed ‘Better luck next time as he looked back at his notes. You felt Sirius's gaze, it was not something easy to ignore, but you tried not to stop yourself from the spirit from passing all the subjects that had suddenly invaded you.

When you couldn't take it anymore you looked up and again mouthed ‘What?’ Trying not to get caught by Remus. Sirius sneakily pointed to a scroll and his quill and you knew what it was all about.

Turns out that Sirius was extremely smart when he put his mind to it and he himself had enchanted a couple of scrolls that only you and he knew about. When you wrote in one, it was reflected in the other and when you finished whatever you were writing this was erased. At first you had not believed him because doing that involved very advanced magic and Sirius was not the archetype of an exemplary student to do that. But once you tried them you realized that you had indeed underestimated the boy and the curiosity to know the most intelligent and creative part of him invaded you. I mean, he was when it came to the pranks but you never imagined a Sirius smart underneath the idler you knew.

Y/N, can I ask you a very personal question? he wrote it. You tried not to sound too concerned and replied:

You can do it, but I can decide not to answer it. It turned out that Sirius was really weird lately and you were worried about what he might say, but usually it was pure nonsense.

The scroll went blank and you waited a few seconds for Sirius's pretty handwriting to appear. You tried not to look at him too much because you knew beforehand that he would get a scolding from Mr. Lupin.

Are you a dementor? he wrote.

You frowned at the words, searching for some logical explanation for his absurd question. Obviously you weren't. Sirius, seeing your confused face, supported a giggle and wrote again.

Because you take my breath away.

You read the words, going over one by one, and couldn't bear the urge to look at Sirius over your glasses with that annoyed look that you liked to fake so he wouldn't notice that you actually liked his scoundrel flirtations.

That was horrible, Sirius.

I made you blush so I don't think it was that bad.

Of course I didn't do that.

Of course you did. He wrote. And you didn't want to look at him because you knew you would just agree with him and blush even more. You look beautiful when you do that, he added. You bit your lip and looked at the parchment for a few seconds just before writing on it.

Stop saying such things to me, Sirius.

What do you say? What do I continue to say to you my best compliments and flattering your qualities? Perfect.

You stifled a laugh and shook it softly, keeping that smile that Sirius loved to observe.

You considered him a wonderful, handsome and kind boy, who was always looking for a way to make you laugh. The spark between you was something that everyone could perceive, including yourself.

I need to study, Sirius. Goodbye. You wrote and that ended your little talk.

For the rest of the hour all your attention was focused on the topics you were studying: Aconite (also known as monkshood or wolfsbane) a mundane plant with magical properties. The name had seemed funny to you and Remus had assured that it had nothing to do with werewolves.

Herbology was a very simple class for you, especially with the help that sometimes the best student in the class gave you: Frank Longbottom.

"Well, the hour is up, do you want to discuss any of the issues or...?" he was interrupted by Sirius abruptly closing the book and who with a wave of his wand put away all his notes "Everyone except Sirius, would you like to discuss something?" he asked, rolling his eyes at the brunette's innocent smile.

You all denied and Lupin ended the meeting. Everyone scattered in different directions, including James who seemed to have magically awakened as soon as the hour was up, but you stayed in the sitting room with your feet tucked up on the red velvet chair.

"What happens?" Sirius asked from behind, not noticing your presence. He jumped onto the couch and flopped into it.

"Nothing, do I need to go where everyone goes all the time?" you asked raising an eyebrow. The boy smiled and shook his head as he leaned on one of his hands, closing the distance between you. "Weren't you the one who was dying to get out of here?"

"Correction: I wanted the session to end, at no time did I speak about the company" he replied and you smiled "Speaking of which, I was thinking..."

"You think?"

“When I want to do it, yes,” he said amused “But let me talk and then you make fun of me. I was thinking that this weekend we are going to Hogsmeade and I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere "

"Sure!" You answered animatedly and his eyes lit up "Will the others go too?" You continued, but the boy was suddenly disappointed.

"Hmm, I was thinking of something... different."

"Different?"

“Yeah, something like… you know, you and me. Alone”

And with that, you were paralyzed in your place.

You'd been alone with him countless times, just like that time, but it was one thing to chat in his common room or in class and quite another to ask you out at Hogsmeade.

"Oh, sure. Something like… a walk or shopping for chocolate frogs at Honeydukes, right?" you said quickly, trying not to show your nerves.

"Hmm, I could think of something else like Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop," he said with a smile. You gulped and watched him with concern. That place was usually full of cheesy couples. "Even though I have all those pink things, I could take them if I'm with you..."

"No," you said abruptly. Sirius was silent and you watched his smile diminish considerably. “I mean, no… I don't wish we were alone. We are always accompanied by the group, why not do it now?” you asked with an awkward smile. The boy was close to you and apparently he did not expect that answer, as his face reflected it quite well. But you were too busy with nerves eating your stomach to notice.

"Uh... yeah, I guess I'll tell them then" he exclaimed softly.

"Yes! It will be more fun and we can go for butterbeer if you want. And I could buy you those sweets that you like, what do you say? " you asked trying to sound a little more animated. Sirius was good at pretending and his disappointed look on his was replaced by a smile in an instant.

"Yes, that would be fine" he replied. His hand traveled to your cheek and he ran over it gently, resting at the base of your jaw for a moment. His hands were callused and very large compared to yours "Then we will go with everyone, as always" he sighed. His hand went up a bit and you felt him tug at your earlobe.

"Hey!" you screamed trying to reach for her head to hit her. Sirius dodged it quite skillfully and it made you laugh.

"I think I'll go to my room. See you tomorrow?" he murmured with a tight-lipped smile as he rose from the couch.

"Sure, see you tomorrow" you replied in the same way, watching him walk towards the exit. You released your contained breath and let your head fall against the back of the chair, processing what had just happened.

You were very sure of what Sirius had tried to do and you didn’t understand the reason for your reaction. I mean, you had completely paralyzed shortly after blatantly flirting with the boy. You had had many dates in your life, why would this be any different?

You looked down the hall where Sirius had gone and remembered his disappointed fase. Should you go look for him?

No, maybe it was best to just let it go and gradually he would forget about it. Yes, that would be the best.

You looked at the seat where he had previously been and you also touched your cheek, hoping you could relive the touch that he had given you. For a few seconds you felt guilty that you responded so rudely to his request, but then you simply shook your head to drive those thoughts away.

"I should be sleeping" you thought aloud. You weren't even sleepy and it wasn't even too late, but you imagined it would be easier to lie down on the bed and not think about it anymore.

You took your things in silence and climbed the stone stairs, leaving behind that memory that you hoped would soon be forgotten.

It had been a few days since that incident and luckily things hadn't changed at all between you and Sirius. He really seemed to have forgotten what happened, so the weekend trip to Hogsmeade unfolded in the most normal way in the world.

Sirius was still flirtatious as ever, teasing you and taking every opportunity to be close to you. You liked his company, he made you feel quite calm and you always had something to talk about. If it wasn't this, it was that, and when you weren't talking you were laughing.

"How could you not fall asleep in Slughorn's class?" James asked. His head hung from the ledge where he was lying and played with his glasses. "The only thing that could distract me was Snivellus's voice."

"Don't call him that," Lily said in a stern voice and you snorted.

“Why do you defend him so much? " you asked wrinkling your nose. Lily looked at you just as seriously.

"Because he’s my friend and he does not deserve to be mistreated like that"

"Mistreat?" you asked incredulously “Have you heard him mocking us along with his entourage of snooty Slytherins? Who you should take care of should be that Lucius and Regulus" you said rolling your eyes "No offense, Sirius" you added. The boy was leaning against the wall with his tie unbuttoned resting on his shoulders.

"It's not offensive, it's the truth" he murmured amused, shrugging and giving you a smile.

Lily didn't say anything else, but she seemed annoyed and she didn't speak for the rest of the afternoon. Peter and James started arguing about things you weren't really interested in so you decided to focus on the scribbles you were drawing on a worn parchment.

You felt an extra pressure next to you on the couch and it wasn't even necessary to look to know who he was.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing" you said simply, keeping your eyes on your scroll.

"Can I talk to you?"

"You are doing it" you replied with a smile. Sirius rolled his eyes and took the quill from your hand, forcing you to look at him.

"Can I talk to you alone?" he asked seriously. Oh no, trouble again...

"Why alone, dear?" you said as a joke. Sirius was too close to you and you tried not to get flustered by it "Is there something you need to say to me that others can't hear?" you asked with a tight-lipped smile, the kind you wear when you're uncomfortable with something.

Sirius cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck unconsciously. You knew he did that when he was nervous.

"Well... to tell the truth something like that" he murmured with a smile. You felt your heart beat faster "Do you think we can go to my room?" he asked.

"To your room?" you said, your voice an octave higher than normal.

"Yeah, you've been there a thousand times," he laughed.

"Eh, is what you have to tell me very urgent?" you asked. You were a bundle of nerves and you really didn't understand what it was.

"Yeah boo, it's important," he said gently. His hand traveled to yours and took your fingers against his. You turned pale because he didn't say urgent but important.

“So, uh, come on. The faster the better, right?" you expressed nervous. You got up from your place and walked to the bedrooms without looking back. You heard an almost deathly silence in the common room and then laughter, but you didn't have time to look when Sirius was already shoving you from the lower back.

The walk to his room was very silent, the first omen that something bad was about to happen. Once you were in his bedroom he let you in first and closed the door behind you, managing to startle you with the simple sound of the latch.

"Why are you closing the door?" you asked nervously, with the volume of your voice considerably louder. Sirius noticed this and quickly removed the latch he had placed on the door.

"I just didn't want to be bothered, that's all," he said with a frown "You're a bit strange, are you sure you don't mind being here with me?"

"No, no, nothing like that" you rushed to reply, waving your hands in an exaggerated way. Sirius found it cute when you did that "You're the one who's suddenly strange, I'm not"

"Yeah, maybe I've been behaving a little weird lately" he smiled, in that way that reminded you of a child "But I promise you it's for good reason, in fact it's what I want to talk to you about" he started to say.

You panicked, total panic screaming at you to get out of there at all costs. The look Sirius gave you, the nervous posture of him and the way he was smiling at you. You knew what that was.

"McGonagall!" You screamed out of nowhere before he could continue

"Excuse me?"

“I forgot that I have a very important meeting with McGonagall, to see the matter of one of my grades. It is essential that I go today and I forgot, can we have this talk later? " you said clasping your hands in a sign of prayer.

Sirius looked, for the second time, disappointed.

"Sure, school is more important," he replied, trying not to sound affected. You grinned widely and walked in the direction of the exit, eager to leave his room.

"Thank you Sirius, you are an angel"

"I know I look like one, but I'm not quite sure I am," he joked, but his smile was not as bright as before. You laughed in response and stood on the balls of his feet to place a kiss on his cheek.

"See you later, I promise," you murmured hastily, leaving without giving him a chance to say anything else.

"Yes... I can wait" Sirius spoke to himself, with a hurt tone. He released his breath and lay down on his respective bed, staring at the ceiling. He felt something strange in his chest, something that wanted him to cry out.

You walked down the hallways, desperate to get away from the questions he might have asked, and when you were outside your common room you didn't stop. On the contrary, you ran and ran through the corridors hoping that no one would find you.

You didn't stop until you were outside the castle, until you were on the same black lake. And once there, you collapsed to cry.

You entered through the portrait of the fat lady, making sure to remove your shoes first so as not to make noise when entering. It was late and you had spent all day wandering the castle only to never return to your common room, wearing James's cloak so as not to be discovered.

It had been a few other days since you spoke to him and you still didn't feel ready to face him. Especially when, that afternoon, you had come to your room totally agitated and your two companions had bombarded you with questions.

Did he already tell you? they asked. What was he supposed to say? What was that important thing that Sirius was going to do that you had avoided?

The worst thing was that you already knew, that was the reason for your flight. Your mind knew what was going to happen and refused to accept it.

But you had also wanted it, you had been waiting for that question for years and now you were simply hiding from everyone so you wouldn't have to face that change.

"I was wondering where you were," said a voice in the dark, making you jump instead. The fireplace was off and the darkness did not allow you to see well who it was, but it was not necessary because you recognized his words perfectly “Well, I was not wondering where because I have this wonderful map to which we all owe a lot, but I was wondering why” he murmured showing you 'The Marauder's Map'. It was night, you couldn't move anywhere anymore and you knew that sooner or later that moment had to come. Still in the dark you saw the silhouette of him get up from the couch and walk in your direction "Are you avoiding me?"

"Sirius..."

"Of course you're avoiding me," he answered himself. The boy took a step towards you and your reaction was to walk two steps back. Sirius stifled a laugh “That's what I refer. Whenever you seem to move towards me and I get closer, you move further away" he muttered. You thought that maybe he was not only referring to the literal part of the sentence “I don't blame you, but I sincerely wonder why you do it. I am a very curious boy” he expressed somewhat ironic. His words hurt because you knew you couldn't give him an explanation "And you're very smart, I'd say too much, and I'm sure you knew my intentions from the moment I asked to speak to you, right?" he continued. He took another step towards you, you stepped back "Do you not like me? You can say no and I will never blame you, but I would have preferred a no sincere to the uncertainty in which I find myself” he explained. Another step, another step "Won't you say anything?" he asked without losing his temper. You were surprised by how calmly he could react to all situations when you were struggling to stay on your feet.

"Sirius, it's not what it seems" you tried to justify yourself. But the man said nothing, because you knew he wanted a more substantial answer than that. You refused to look at him and felt him take another step in your direction, repeating the previous sequence. But this time you felt your back crash against the stone wall and Sirius's arms at your sides, imprisoning you against it.

You looked at his clothes. He was still wearing his uniform but he looked more scruffy and some items were missing. His shirt had a three-quarter sleeve, thanks to the fact that he had picked it up himself.

"Y/N, please" he spoke in a soft voice "I do not ask you to reciprocate, I only ask you to give me an answer"

"I'm terrified Sirius!" you finally said, in a louder voice "I'm completely scared, what else do you want me to tell you?"

"Are you afraid of me?"

"I'm afraid of how you feel about me" you murmured sincerely. Maybe it was time to be honest with him, because you had no other alternative anyway. He had cornered you to it, literally “It scares me that things will change between us, okay? And I like you too, I like you a lot, but I'm afraid of what might happen next" you whispered without looking at him. The heat that emanated from his body hugged you “I like you to tell me all those compliments, even if I say otherwise. I like when you touch our hands, I like that we escape together from class, that when we walk around the outside of the castle you cut flowers to put in my hair, I like to see you every day and I like the cute nicknames you call me with. I like everything about you, Sirius. And that's why I'm so scared of losing you" you exclaimed with a cracking voice. Sirius kept a pious gaze on you. You could feel a bit of his accelerated breath "I've had a lot of good people in my life who have ended up leaving, I don't want that to happen with you..."

"And how will you know if we don't try, love?" he spoke. His voice came out hoarse and with his hand he gently took you by the chin to force you to see him "You could have told me this before and I would have stopped insisting, or we would have discussed it as we are doing now" you looked at him, eyes clouded with tears restrained, and Sirius smiled at you tenderly "I'm not going to force you to do anything, I never would and I never will. But I would... I would like to have something with you. I really like you and if you don't agree I will respect it, but it would be a dream come true to be able to form a relationship "

"Sirius, I don't know how to do it."

"Me neither!" he said, almost excited and managed to make you smile. He carefully wiped the tears that fell from your cheeks. “We could learn together and I promise you that if it doesn't work, I won't let you. If we are not a good couple then we will be friends again and problem solved. But how about we realize that we are ideal for each other? " he muttered. His thumb left slow and delicate caresses on your face “I don't know how to love either, nobody in my family knows how to do it and that's why I never learned to do it. But… being here at Hogwarts I knew what it was like to have friends, to have friends. I learned that my heart races when I see you and that I also like all those things you do for me. I like you to know what my favorite sweets are and buy them for me, I like it when you detangle my hair, when you force me to study, even if I don't like it, because you care about me. When you know that I am sad and you do everything to cheer me up, even when you call me in horrible ways and make fun of me" he laughed, making you smile too "And if you give me the opportunity I know that I can make you very happy and I would also be very happy to be with you. I planned for many days how to say these words to you, but I think now I speak from the heart when I tell you that I like you like no one else has. I'll take care of you, I promise. And I already told you that if this doesn't work, and you decide that way, we will continue to be friends” he concluded. In his eyes you could see that he was also nervous, that he had the same fear as you but that he was better hiding it "Now, if you want me to list the many advantages that I would have as a boyfriend, then doing it" he continued, with a more naughty tone "Don't pay too much attention to me, but I give some excellent kisses..."

"According to whom?"

"According to me!" he said obvious “If you want to check it I am totally available. I mean, just so you know I'm not a liar," he muttered innocently, making you smile from ear to ear.

"Are you sure about this Sirius?"

"From my kisses? Of course"

"About us, you great idiot," you said rolling your eyes and gently pulling a loose lock of his long hair.

"Ouch! If you are going to insult me ​​and pull my hair like that I would prefer that we were in a more private place, my dear” he murmured flirtatiously, putting one of his hands on your waist and closing the distance between you. You looked away but he forced you to look at him again "Of course I'm sure, only if you're sure too" he replied. You sighed, feeling in your stomach a more pleasant emptiness than the previous ones.

"Then ask me"

"What do you want I ask you?"

"What were you planning to ask for days, silly" you said rolling your eyes. Sirius smirked.

"Can you let me copy your Potions project?" he said pretending to be confused and you tried to free yourself from his grip due to lack of seriousness, but he did not allow it. He took you from behind him, putting his arm around your lower back so that his torsos collided and the space between his faces was minimal. You had to lift your head to watch him, but he also looked down to save you a bit of work. His smile faded, but despite the darkness in his eyes you could glimpse a sample of the love he professed for you "Would you like me to be your boyfriend?" he asked softly.

You would remember that moment all your life, his voice low, his sounding in the middle of the darkness with the question that would start his beautiful love story.

"I wouldn’t like it," you said just as seriously, looking into his eyes with a smile. Your hands went up to the back of his neck and you pulled his face gently to place a kiss on his cheek. He smiled "I would love it"

[compassion-of-a-lightner]

I guess I'm sleep deprived enough having not slept for 4 days to make a post about this.

People who entirely write off Asgore as a character worth caring about in any respect, what's up?

I should clarify.

This is not directed to people who fully consider his story in UT, or the implications in DR and come out of it going "I don't forgive him and therefore don't like him"

It's more to the weirdly hostile voices I see that are just like, entirely dismissive of his story and just go "Haha, he sucks. Definitely no nuance here! Just shitty! Every other character is worth the world and Asgore is a piece of shit forever and should die lmao" and like, did you play the same game?

Because I feel like you're just robbing yourself of a whole ass dynamic of the story in UT just to go "Haha, he's a lame divorced shithead and murderer, Toriel deserves better uwu" and like, that's not the point? OBVIOUSLY she does? Because she decided he's not for her in both games for different reasons? That doesn't delete his story from the game(s) or make it less valuable to consider?

Also good for her (in UT), the dumbass goes kid killer and you tell him to go fly a kite.

But like, seriously man. Asgore has one of the most hefty 'crumbling under the weight of the world' narratives to his story in UT.

He's in charge of giving all monsters a better life, and he's looked deep inside, witnessed his son killed by humanity, witnessed the (supposed) best chance at peace between humanity and monsters pass with Chara, and he's decided that the only hope to provide for those he cares about is to give up his own 'humanity' and gather the power of human souls to break through... AND HE CAN'T EVEN DO THAT BECAUSE HE CAN'T BRING HIMSELF TO BECOME THE MONSTER HE HATES!

(Yes he kills though, I mean finish the plan, we'll get to that)

Like cut and dry, it's a pretty shit plan bud. But it's born from a place of deep compassion and a sense of significant loss that made him desperate.

(some of these details might be too fuzzy from a long time since playing but the general point remains)

He doesn't know all the facts.

He doesn't know everything about Chara.

He doesn't know that Chara, while fused with Asriel, wanted to commit violence against Humanity for what they did to the monsters.

He didn't know that Asriel died because he fought against this.

He didn't know so much of the story. All he saw was his adopted child dying with a simple wish to see the flowers again, and humanity attacking like the beasts they claimed monsters were when his son attempted to fulfill that wish.

He saw humanity's darkest, and questioned why monsters were the ones locked below. And he saw what Asriel and Chara were able to accomplish together so he made a plan.

His plan rings the same tones of most 'last chance' narratives. There IS no other way out from what he's witnessed. Chara and Asriel WERE the good option out, and it didn't work.

The good ending was attempted, and denied. So he looked at his options and there really weren't many.

Either die underground, or kill to make the surface their home.

And upon finally building up the determination to put his plan in motion, he couldn't do it.

He killed, and immediately had too much regret to follow through.

He shut down, he crumbled under the pressure, he saw the blood on his hands and he realized he wasn't able to hate strongly enough to use the soul to break through and attack humanity as a whole.

As Toriel said in the true end, he could have gone with 1 soul, but he hid away and hoped that no more humans would come.

His true plan was to end his plan. To live in regret of the life he stole and never see another human again, and out of fear of revealing his failure to his people, out of fear of admitting to them that they would never see the surface again, he hid from his responsibility because it would demand he become a true monster. He claimed to need more power, and hoped no one would come to confront them.

He locked himself into the responsibilities of a mad king, to kill and gather power whenever a new human arrives. For nothing.

To continuously bloody his hands in the hopes of never doing so again, all because he's too 'weak' to just go up top and become the Mercy-less monster he truly believed needed to exist to free them.

And all the sadness and regret, but hollow determination to continue on his path is so STRONG in his story, man! It's TERRIBLE!

He hates what he's become; He shows no joy at the thought of fighting Frisk. He's built an empty responsibility all in the hope of never killing again, and the world keeps laughing at him as it tosses more lives his way.

He wants to help his people, but he doesn't want to hurt the humans.

He was a good person presented with a perspective of the 'facts' that laid bare a world of disgusting hate, a world that can't be reasoned with, a world without Mercy. And after having lost his only children to this world, he gave in to his own weakness and decided to play by the rules- to also fight without Mercy.

AND. FAILED.

He's both entirely convinced that the world has no mercy, and is entirely unable to relinquish his own.

All while bitterly tending to an evil he resents to its core, all while hoping to be left alone and never be asked to shed blood again, all while truly believing he must do so- in these circumstances- if he is to protect the lives on the surface and maintain even a semblance of his mercy in the grand scheme of things.

Let them live and risk the humans finding out he killed in the first place, risk the humans coming underground to kill them all. Risk repeating what happened with Asriel, but for them all because of blood on his hands.

Kill them, for no gain, and continue the facade- continue telling everyone you're almost strong enough to kill those on the surface. Continue lying, so that the monsters are safe, and the humans are as well. All at the cost of another child. IT SUCKS IT'S FUCKING BAD MAN.

It's what makes it so touching that you can convince him through your intense determination to break the rules of this mercy-less world! You're unending compassion and inability to accept 'no' for an answer in regards to cherishing life provides him with new hope!

It's a glimpse of a person with true unending mercy that convinces him that the world can be changed- Frisk and the player's actions convince him that he was mistaken. That it never had to be the original plan, and the reason he couldn't think of a new one is because succumbing to the act of murder had destroyed his sense of hope- he wasn't the right person to come up with a plan to free the monsters after that because it was simply too damaging to his ability to hope or dream of a better future.

He needed convinced.

He needed to be shown that the world can have mercy in it, that it can be compassionate.

Things he once believed were possible, and a reality that was torn from him with the loss of his kids- revitalized as you step through to make it happen.

IT'S GOOD, OKAY.

AND ASGORE IS INTEGRAL TO IT AND IS A TRAGIC FIGURE WITHIN IT.

Anyways you can still hate him, you're opinions are you own and he sucks at being a good dude. The dude killed kids (in UT), you remember that? Fucked up.

I've just been seeing a lot of takes on the guy as some nuance-less bad person when he has so many layers of depth going on that it sounds bizarre to hear him summed up as like "Oh yeah, Asgore is a piece of shit, anyways let's talk about the character depth of Pipis"

I mean come on, Ms. Pipis is right there, talk about her, lol.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s 4th Birthday Story Event: Before the Clock Strikes Midnight

REEEEEEEE Ik it was a long time ago but life has been a [redacted], so I figured better late than never HAHA

So without further ado, anybody who’s curious feel free to click for more--I’ll put it under a cut for spoilers as per usual~

So in this story it’s the usual, a few days before his birthday, and they’re discussing a bump in the road. Essentially, it appears a friend of Comte’s is going to be celebrating a wedding, and as such he’s going into the suburbs/affluent part of the region to be able to attend. It’s only a few hours away from the mansion, but he will be gone for a few days with the arrangements made for his stay. 

While this wouldn’t typically be an issue, MC has some things to take care of and opts out of attending with him (preparing for his bday probably LMAO) and Comte is immediately big sad. My favorite dramatic fool is already pouting, though he fully accepts and respects her decision. Besides which, he fully intends to be back in time to celebrate his birthday as well. He notes that he’s always admired how driven and independent she is, and has no intention of getting in the way of that. He’s just going to miss her, is all.

He says as much, figuring there’s no point in hiding it: “I really wanted to bring you with me to attend…but I suppose it simply can’t be helped” … “That’s not it…I guess I’m just wondering if you’ll miss me as much as I’ll miss you while I’m away.” 

And MC’s just like “Aw, it’s okay it’ll only be a few days.” While Comte’s response is a very mature, high-pitched whining sound at a frequency only King (Theo’s dog) and Theo himself can hear. When MC tries to reassure him once more, his Hamlet impression continues: “Even the prospect of a few days away from you feels unbearable.” 

Naturally, as any man do that loves his wife, he draws her close and proceeds to bang the living daylights out of her. I would offer details, but I have no deets to give beyond: [Well MC, it appears I won’t be letting you get much sleep tonight.] 

Brief intermission for the vague sounds of fangirl cardiac arrest. 

The scene opens again to him doing his walk of shame (the slut) down the walkway and into the carriage that will take him to his friend’s house. His thoughts carry the regret of burdening her with his desire, though MC is pretty much on cloud nine and unable to stop thinking about the heady night they shared in a good way. Bruh and the sly look when he figures out why she looks like that--I’m boutta call the police, he is going to make women and men alike act up. 

MC scrambles to cool his already returning desire by insisting he will be late if he indulges any further, and he laughs and agrees easily–albeit with the slightest hint of reluctance. My favorite part in this exchange is that he kisses her forehead, adding that it’s because she’s the most adorable person in the world to him (a moment of silence for our uwus). 

Fast forward to Comte trying to get home after the festivities are over. Problem is, it’s been raining like a mOTHERBLEEPER, and as such carriages have no safe way to traverse the roads at the moment. He waited out the first day as patiently as possible, but after the second–and no sign of stopping–his Leeroy Jenkins instincts kick in. He notes to the coachman that he’s aware he’s asking a lot, but they fully intend to take the long way which invites the least risk–and the rain is ebbing, even if the progress is slow. 

It’s interesting because there’s another echo of his main story in this moment. He essentially showcases a desperation to return before the day ends, though without context it’ll probably seem a little strange, so I’ll do my best to explain. Basically, in his main story, MC notes that she doesn’t really care how different they are. Different time, different species, different experiences, so on and so forth. She hammers home that what matters is that the present is something that they actively share. It’s theirs. And no amount of divisions he desperately tries to draw will change that fundamental reality. 

And it’s a little moving to see how deeply he takes it to heart? I think it’s one of those wonderful phenomena, personally–the way a person can influence how you think and act with their sentiments. Sometimes someone says precisely what it is we need to hear, and it changes us–while it can be for the worse, it can also be for the better. He notes that he spent so many birthdays; among the people serving his house when he was little, raising hell with his friends in his younger days, so on and so forth. Not unlike Leonardo, he says that after so many “special” days the faces become a blur, the festivities lose their luster. It’s just another day, at this point. 

Note, one interesting thing here that stands out to me is that I feel like this is a reflection of both of their larger struggles. Where Comte can’t stand the relentless flow of time rendering him the only constant (and something of a ghost, never fully present), Leonardo can’t bear birthdays because it means remembering people who still mean the world to him, but are long gone. People he can never see again, never laugh with again, never share his life with again. And I think that’s a very profound pain, an anguish that just keeps on settling its weight. (Oh, Sisyphus…)

Comte’s is similar, but different. He actively works to keep his distance-- unlike Leonardo, he approaches immortality in the pragmatic way. He knows getting close will hurt, so he opts out of that–keeps a step behind, an easy smile on his face. Betrays only fragments to anyone, always has his guard up. But the downside of being so guarded means you eventually feel hollowed out and alone; nobody truly knows or understands you. There is a distinct loneliness in that approach, where memories only become reminders of how nothing ever improves and how bereft you are of warmth. 

Leonardo, at least, gets to have the joy of being known from time to time. But loss and estrangement from those people means double the pain in the long run, because he loved them fully. Comte chooses to live in the cold to protect himself, but ends up in a kind of catch-22; the cost of forgoing loss means a constant deadening of his own feelings. It means living in a kind of fog, where there is a distinct discomfort in the silent obscurity of your own heart. 

There’s something I’ve come to believe in my short course of living, so I guess I still need time to determine how true it is. But…I feel like, when people live this way, where who they are is a lie or it’s at the very least carefully concealed, we in part start to become that lie. I think it’s fascinating because Comte seems to have so much personality to him. He’s dramatic, he’s thoughtful, he has a sense of mischief about him, he has strong ideals, and he has an even more ironclad moral grounding. And yet, when he talks about himself, he always uses descriptions that hinge on emptiness. Like he’s worth so little, worth nothing. And that’s what I mean–he’s been trying so hard to glide on the surface that he has come to believe he really is equivalent to something that ephemeral. Like there’s nothing more inside him, or if there is, that it will never be worthy of much. I think it really speaks to the ways behavior impacts the psyche, even though the opposite tends to be considered the only possible cause and effect relationship. 

He’s so determined to live for and in the future while he’s in the present, that he forgets to enjoy himself and really live. And while that approach is certainly understandable, I do think he loses parts of himself along the way. Only to be rediscovered and placed back into his hands by MC: [Today–this moment–our now, I don’t want to miss it for anything.] And that's not even touching on how quick she is to make them a we; she's not letting him keep that distance. It’s not “you have the ability to share this day with me” it’s “we’re here and in this together.”

I feel like what I love about this is that it’s not only about how sweet he is on MC, but also about how much he’s truly living again for the first time. His defenses are slowly inching their way down, he’s letting himself hope and want things and look forward to things again. The thing about being a responsible person is that–while responsibility is all well and good–sometimes you become so mired in doing the right thing and planning the most optimal outcomes that you just aren’t thinking of yourself anymore. That is, if you ever were to begin with. He went from the careful cultivation of a life as an aristocrat, to a life that spoke of more freedom and fun beyond those iron wrought gates, before he returned to the structure of what he knew. Freedom speaks to him I’m sure–we all need it in some measure to survive. But I do think a good portion of that was unfulfilling for him after a point. It was only feeding the void that was beginning to form inside him. He was instinctively retreating into himself to avoid pain, and in doing that the only result was feeling like a coward and a fake. He wasn’t happy, he wasn’t able to be himself, and nothing was fulfilling–every single day just another forward march. 

I think it comes as no surprise he took up Vlad’s initial invitation so willingly. 

But then I digress, back to the story. There’s another timeskip and it finds him racing down the hall of the mansion. He’s hoping to make it in time but knows he’s racing against the clock, and fully expects MC to be asleep by this point in the night. Midway along his path he thinks he spots MC and falters in his step, blinking. He decides to hang back, watching the figure enter his room with a great deal of curiosity and resists every urge to burst in after her. He hears MC speak into his pillow, her voice muffled but clearly despondent: “I miss you, Comte. I hope you get back home soon…” 

Comte pretty much dies right there. I literally have no better explanation for it. He freezes, his heart sputters and stops. He’s just completely taken aback. 

And then, naturally, he goes about feral with desire as is his modus operandi: “Oho, I heard something incredibly cute just now. Were you also having a hard time spending so long apart?”

MC: “…!”

[Startled, she turns around and her eyes widen and widen.]

MC: “Comte, how...”

Comte: “Took a detour in areas with less rain.”

MC: “?? Wouldn’t that still be hard in weather like this?”

Comte: “I told the coachman I wanted to see you as soon as possible. Even if it was only for a second, I wanted to spend today with you…”

[Everything I was thinking while in the carriage spills out of me long before I can help it. I am reminded again of just how utterly irreplaceable an existence MC is in my life.]

Comte: “Even so, it seems interesting that I would find you in my bed”

MC: “...! A--Ah, I’m so sorry for entering without permission!”

[I quickly grab hold of her before she can scramble out of my bed, coaxing her to sink back into the sheets.]

In between a lot of intense making out and [redacted], the larger overtone is that her reciprocated ardor just destroys him inside:

MC: “It was...because I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about wanting to see you…”

Comte: “!”

[You know just how to drive me mad with desire.]

Comte: “I’m the same...the first thing I did was look for you. Even though it was only a few days, your voice, your body, everything...I missed you”

[Because today, our ‘now’--I never want to lose a single moment with you as long as you’re by my side...]

Comte: “I’m so happy to be able to be with you, right here and right now.”

It gets funny too because Comte is trying to take it slow, but when she tells him “Happy birthday” and goes on to say she was so glad to greet the day he was brought into the world by his side, he just loses all control LMFAO. It ends with them getting more heated and [redacted], to the point where he doesn’t even hear the clock strike midnight. 

And if him being the cutest and sexiest romantic wasn’t obvious enough, he spends the next morning just sighing blissfully with her in his arms:

[The next morning, when I wake up, MC is still fast asleep. I mean, given she only fell asleep a few hours ago. I’m still reveling in the afterglow of a sweet night filled with her cries, the way she looked at me and held me. MC...]

[I relax to the sound of her breathing steady with sleep, stroking gently at her hair as I hug her from behind.]

Comte: “I’ve had countless birthdays. In an endless life, I was convinced it was just a day that would come and go every time.”

Comte: “It was only after meeting you that I could understand there was no such thing as an overlapping or identical moment. I don’t want to miss a single second by your side...that’s what I think now.”

[I admit the truth of my heart, brushing a kiss against her cheek. Over and over and over again, showering her in my affection--]

But dun dun dun!!! MC was awake the whole time, so when she fidgets a little at how ticklish his kisses are, he 👁

[Oh, I see. Well then, two can play at that game...]

Comte: “Your punishment is to stay in my arms just as we are...how’s that?”

He gets his mischievous (and hilarious) revenge for being revealed (HORNY TIME), though it’s so suffused with love it’s hard to call it revenge hahaha. She reminds him to go easy on her because they have his birthday party to attend later, and he agrees~

Honestly after such killer hurt/comfort spice fluff, I can only tremble at the thought of what his 5th year bday story will be

It’s either going to be Some Angst^TM or even more killer fluff, and either way that means my days are numbered

[joshuaalbert]

ok here are my liveblog notes.

- girl we didn’t have to come out of the gate with “every important person in the series is the child of an older character.”

- this show literally thinks you’re stupid (note from like 7 hours later: i think this was about picard needing to explicitly explain that the ships were linked and moving into formation which like. no shit.)

- “if earth falls everything falls” yeah man fuck every other planet in the federation I guess

- I like this cook guy at least

- “jack is in there and he’s still jack” yeah the guy you know so well after like a week

- oh I guess picard is actually doing something for the first time this entire season instead of just. reacting to other people saying stuff to him. took long enough.

- geordi could be literally anyone please god give this man some technobabble or something. glad he gets to sit in the captain’s chair tho I know that was big for levar burton in tng

- oh nice deanna gets to be upset about riker rather than doing anything again. classic. worf you are the only one holding the line against white boy wednesday on a thursday.

- weren’t they just having a super hard time isolating his life signs the fuck

- well at least raffi and seven get to talk to each other 😐

- I mean the cook’s not wrong that it’s objectively stupid as hell to try to fight the entire fucking fleet alone but ok

- yeah wow the zombie movie imagery here. lm fucking ao.

- oh beverly did weapons so she’s good character now. this season’s entire philosophy.

- “planetary shields are down” yeah its almost like the stupidest plan of all time didn’t help but also nobody except picard is allowed to do anything so I guess this was to be expected. cant really blame her for this one i guess.

- except like. hey remember when seven became the most specialest person on all of voy and took over the entire show because she kept finding the solutions to problems and shit. lmao.

- like this moment of picard deciding to go back to the borg would have been powerful if we hadn’t been beating this dead horse for this many decades or if there was any actual sense of threat or. anything.

- “you are the part of me that I never knew was missing” yeah man “having biological children is the only key to a fulfilling life” is really progressive

- like this should be a really touching moment but there’s just. not enough chemistry here to make it work all these flashbacks are so surface level and take place in a week and you’re telling me this is enough

- like I’m a sucker for the power of love saves the day if it’s done well I won’t pretend I’m not but like. holy shit this aint it.

- oh shit deanna actually gets to do something what a fucking world

- “the time of the borg is over” god I wish but I’m sure they’ll keep finding a way to bring them back forever

- all those touching goodbyes might have been better if it ever felt like they were gonna have the guts to kill anyone off

- aw ok. seven hugging sidney was cute.

- NOT THIS AVENGERS ASS GIRLPOWER SHOT LIKE THEY ACTUALLY GOT TO DO ANYTHING. why are they nodding. what publicity fuckery.

- none of this felt earned. they were in the borg cube for like 15 minutes.

- hey uh I do not like this technology that “scans for other irregularities” that feels. bad.

- ok I’m glad tuvok is ok glad you got out of the bullshit alive

- oh yeah ok we’re just gonna frame starfleet as everyone’s happy ending. ok.

- no like remember back during uhhh whatever episode ro laren was in where it seemed like they might be actually critiquing starfleet some. what was the point of that if they were just gonna be like haha never mind starfleet is good for everyone it’s a place everyone needs to be to be happy.

- shaw knowing he was doing something wrong by calling her hansen doesn’t help actually and it definitely doesn’t help that he sounds like he’s about to start complaining about how hard it is to remember all these newfangled pronouns

- like I know I haven’t watched the first two seasons I’m not super familiar with raffi’s family stuff but this feels like a copout lmao

- the fact that they acknowledged ds9 continuity with “house of martok” but still managed to go the whole season not mentioning jadzia or alexander or anything is so. like.

- ok worf and raffi continue to be the best dynamic in this fucking show like they’re the only ones I actually feel anything for

- haha I love how they almost made deanna good at her job and then were like actually she and riker make fun of her patient

- my computer is buffering at the 1 year later mark I think it’s trying to save me

- “if ever there was better evidence that the past mattered” no please hammer the message of this season home harder

- why was that scene a year later have they just been standing there for a year. actually I guess it’s the only place in the whole world that’s lit well so maybe I’d stand there for a year too everyone probably has seasonal depression from being on the titan.

- oh my god

- oh myg od

- they. they fucking put him in red too. it wasn’t enough to be like yeah his happy ending is starfleet no it has to be the fucking command track he has to take after his father because god forbid he take after his mother to do something he was shown to be good at

- I hope I die for real actually.

- on one hand i feel like that nepotism line was a direct shot at wesley except they’re also doing the same thing but worse. so like ????? are they just trying to lampshade what they’re doing now it’s not fucking working.

- I’m going to fucking explode everyone forever

- the titan being renamed to the fucking enterprise is like. the perfect encapsulation of this show’s mentality. you can almost go forward a tiny bit (have new ship that is important) but then you HAVE to go back to the way things were (jk it’s the enterprise because that’s the only ship that can ever be important)

- stop namedropping your goddamn....it’s not even a planet now it’s a whole system. shut the fuck UP.

- yeah this is really professional. this is a functioning vessel. jack shut the hell up.

- what the fuck is this.

- isn’t this the same gag they used in the snw s2 trailer I haven’t actually watched it but I feel like I’ve seen a gifset

- jack shut up

- wow they really just didn’t want to have to make a decision on this. or they’re setting up the sequel. either way I hate being alive

- why did we even have a plot to this episode when they clearly just wanted to do the nostalgia world tour. I guess that explains why all the borg shit wrapped up so quickly they never actually wanted to do the plot. on one hand the plot was bad on the other hand watching 15 consecutive victory laps is also bad.

- this show is bad

- I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be someone who liked the first two seasons or cared about the bonds picard made with literally anyone else this is such a fuck you to all of that. hey remember laris. because even despite not watching the first two seasons I remember that she was in the first episode. but I know the show counts on you being too stupid to remember that anyway.

- ok I feel like that’s clearly just a premiere photo so that’s kind of funny

- jesus fuck

- let this man die

- there are literally tears in my eyes and not in a good way stop trying to set up a spinoff I’m so fucking tired

- everyone who hated wesley for being a mary sue had better hate jack that’s an order

🫥

[fandom-oracle]

Wait wdym? Do you think fic is bad?

i'm getting canceled tonight i guess.

if you actually did a good a faith interpretation of my post you know it's not really ABOUT fanfiction at all, i actually write fanfiction myself. i'm not sharing here because it's overwhelmingly bad fic that i write exclusively as wish-fulfilment or for self-projection, but at least i'm self-aware about it. i am ALSO one of the people who reads ze Books™️, although most of the academic material i consume are nonfiction, so this whole thing is particularly annoying to me. the crux of the matter is that, if you're a little younger you might've missed it, but this website was a hotbed of scalding takes like 'dante's divine comedy is literally fanfiction', 'something something is literally fanfiction' when the thing in question barely counts as a transformative work and, in fact, it weakens the definition of transformative work in itself to try to apply it to literally anything that exhibits an ounce of intertextuality. plenty of takes that are... true, but require some nuance, focused on the idea of transformative fandom as a place defined by its presence of overwhelmingly female and disproportionately queer (occasionally, though disputedly, nonwhite) content creators and the ways in which transformative fan content could be interpreted as a space of defiance to cisheteropatriarchy in the way it permeates traditional media. a third, less common but still relevant take was the focus on how certain fandoms such as trek and doctor who have a long history of involvement in real-world civil rights issues and progressive politics. so this kind of take has been the dominant view on tumblr and transformative fandom for a good decade now, perhaps longer, and the people with this kind of takes can sometimes be a little... obnoxious. and the majority of people on transformative fandom (regardless of wether or not the fandom is disproportionately composed of nonwhite individuals or not, by sheer virtue of american demographics and this site`s heaily skewed userbase, the majority will still be white) are white, and like any other space dominated by white people, fandom has often been a vehicle for white supremacy. "Stitch Media Mix" talks about this in-depth. the discourse on fandom racism and ways in which transformative fandom as a whole contribute to racialized stereotypes, hierarchies, and deeper problems within online culture has led to a lot of people with grievances with fandom, many of whom are women of color, to develop an entire online identity built around the concept of being "critical of fandom", which is a very weird thing to do with fandom is literally billions of people, not a unified demographic, and that being critical of something can mean a WIDE amount of things; which in turn has led to a lot of people insulating themselves completely from any criticism of fandom as being inherently in bad faith, which a weird thing to do when literally ANY sphere of society should be open to criticism. people taking critiques of media they consume and taking critiques of their own critiques as personal attacks are abound here and make everything worse. so a fairly recent (mid2018ish, definitely post the insanity of reylo discourse but before sarah z blew up in popularity) trend has been that people in these communities isolate more and more and the general discourse has effetively resulted in people with differing takes in fanfiction specifically but fandom as a Whole (which is, again very weird to say because fandom is not 'a Whole' because there's no unifying element to different fandoms) only interacting with each other in hostile ways. and increasingly, in my personal sphere, a lot of people are positioning themselves in the "fandom critical" (AGAIN, WEIRD THING TO SAY, WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN, PLEASE USE WORDS WITH PRECISION) sphere, and I tend to take that "side" myself, but i specifically do not think framing this as a team A or team B thing is useful. this culture war was in the buildup.

last week a post by a user i follow recently became popular. the post itself was a critique that i.. do not necessarily agree with. it was ultimately about the idea of easily-consumable popular media being seen as an acceptable form of exclusive media engagement by people in the "pro-fandom" sphere, and how the insidiousness of this line of thinking has to do with how capitalist media production is designed to spread, and how fandom AS A TREND, not specifically any individuals or any fanworks, can empower capitalism. the post specifically did NOT use the kindest possible words, but that was what they were trying to say. howelljenkins also has really good takes on the subject, albeit from a different angle.

anyway because this is a circular culture war, the result was as follows: 1) a bunch of pro-fandom types refuse to actually make a charitable reading of the post and insist the user in question hates fandom and thinks people under capitalism shouldn't have things that are Fun, and should Only Read Theory and keep sending anon hate to several blogs in the opposing sphere, therefore proving the point that fandom sometimes prevent people from being able to engage critically with things; 2) a bunch of anti-fandom types who defined their entire identity on hating fandom being like "haha look at these cringe people" instead of trying to understand why a demographic overwhelmingly composed of marginalized people would feel strongly to posts that use inflammatory language against an interest of theirs, thereby proving the point that most criticism of fandom is divorced from actual fan content and is vaguely defined. the reason this is a culture war that actually deserves attention (unlike most fandom culture wars, which are just really granular ship wars made into social justice issues for clout) is that, for the most part, both of these groups are mostly people with college degrees, many of whom will contirbute to academia in the coming years. fan studies is a relevant field. these discussions have repercussions in wider media criticism trends, and this is why i can't really stand it or just passively ignoring it the way i do with most other inconsequential discourse. like it's genuinely upsetting seeing almost every single tumblr user, most of whom should know better, patting themselves in the back for their inability to read things in a way that doesn't feed into preexisting cultural hostilities in fan spaces.

[lovetenya]

✧ 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐚 𝐢𝐢𝐝𝐚’𝐬 𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

warnings: none.

word count: 3k 

author’s note: this constantly switches between you and tenya dating at UA and typical married domestic life. i’m writing this during my break from my color series. i’m still writing it, and still going to finish it, don’t worry. also, if this is your alphabet prompt, i’m sorry for not crediting you! i don’t remember where this is from!

A - Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a person and about you?)

personality-wise, i think tenya would gravitate toward someone that is intuitive, trustworthy, and kind-hearted. 

someone who isn’t going to tease about the things that hurt him, or question the things he holds nearest to his heart.

someone who would patch him up after a long day, help him with his arm, and hold his face in their hands.

someone who knows when to push, and when to release.

when to prod him with questions, encouraging him to share more, but not arguing and making him feel ashamed for his ambitions.

someone who will be gentle with him, and respect that he is a hero for all the right reasons and does it because he has to

i’m not doing physical appearance because it REALLY bothers me when people hc characters with a certain type.

to me, it feels like it’s made with the intention to leave people out, but...

do whatever you want, i guess. 

B - Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why Not? How big?)

tenya definitely wants a family

i think he would have 4-6 kids, to keep it even have a big, strong family

he grew up with siblings and loves them to death, so it only fits that he would want the same thing for his kids

but he wouldn’t pressure his kids into being heroes or into doing anything related to hero work, because he can understand how intimidating and suffocating that expectation is 

it scares him to think that he could get killed by a villain and have to leave them behind, but he does his best every day so that he can come home to you and all the little iidas

C - Cuddle (Do they like to cuddle? How do they like to cuddle most?)

honestly? i’m not really sure that tenya would like cuddling that much at first, but i think he’d do it for his significant other and it would grow on him.

i don’t feel like he’d be very cuddly or overly affectionate physically, but would do it to comfort and care for you.

i do think that he likes to hold you and keep you safe in his arms, so i do think that if you were gonna cuddle, he’d hold you close to his chest and wrap his arms around you so that he can press kisses to ur forehead (awww <3)

or he’d be the big spoon :>

don’t even kid yourself trying to be the big spoon, although he’s only 5′10″ i know that if you’re reading this you are NOT taller than him. don’t lie to me.

D - Date (Ideal date?)

tenya’s ideal date would be a quiet date away from others, maybe in a library for a study date.

OR A BOOKSTORE AND A COFFEE SHOP 

oh my gosh and he’d carry your books while you keep walking around and looking at other ones 

E - Energetic (How energetic are they?)

he’s up early for work, but comes home tired. he tries to stay up to talk after dinner, but as the days get longer, his energy wavers more.

i think he’s use to being up for long periods of time, but if he can relax, i think he’ll take that chance to fall asleep on the couch next to you.

F - Fight (How are they in a fight?)

if you’re fighting, he’s wants it to be fixed. he’s not interested in dramatics, or spite, or pettiness.

if he did something wrong, you know he’ll apologize profusely and try his best to give you space, if you need it. if not, he’ll comfort you and reassure you that he didn’t mean it that way, or that he didn’t think before he said it.

if you did something wrong, an apology will help. though sometimes the words hurt more than he’d like to admit, he believes you when you tell him that you’re sorry, and he’s willing to move on from it.  

i don’t think there would ever be a real, blown up fight, because he’s not one to overreact. yes, there will be arguments on whether he’s being taken advantage of by the agency (he is) and he’ll assert that he doesn’t care, because it isn’t about him anyway.

G - Gifts (How do they feel about gifts? How do they give them?)

he doesn’t really see the reason for receiving gifts, because he isn’t materialistic in the slightest. he’d rather you give him your all and your love than a tangible gift, but he won’t refuse anything

that’s rude

he grew up with everything he needed, so he never developed emotional attachment to items, but he loves giving them to other people and seeing how his small generosity can cause so much happiness in others

he’s definitely a meaningful and thoughtful gift giver, and puts a lot of effort into it to make sure it’s perfect 

H - Honesty (How honest are they? Do they keep secrets?)

he’s incredibly honest, but will sometimes downplay his physical pain so that you don’t worry about him 

he’s not going to lie and say “it doesn’t hurt at all!” but i can definitely see him acting tough and saying “it was just a scratch” when he actually got stabbed or something HAHA

(i hate when people only characterize him in relation to his family and how he has a heightened sense of honor, because that’s only a part of who he is. he’s not honest or heroic just because of his family, he does it because it’s the right thing to do. by making honor his only personality trait, you’re kind of playing into a false stereotype, and i’m not gonna call you what i want to call you, just know that your bad writing in your simplification of the culture as a whole is genuinely annoying to me in that aspect)

...

moving on

he doesn’t have any reason to keep secrets from his significant other. he wants to be able to trust you with anything and have you trust him right back, so he’s an open book for you.

if you ask him, he will tell you, regardless of what the question is

I - Injury (How do they react if you get injured?)

IT DEPENDS HOW IT HAPPENED

if you hurt yourself around the house and it wasn’t serious, he’d make sure you were okay and then laugh, saying “you should really be more careful.”

but if it was serious, (say, villain related?) 

J - Jealousy (Are they the jealous type? How do they deal with it?)

he’s not the jealous type, because he isn’t insecure and trusts you too much to suspect anything like cheating

i think if you were trying to make him jealous, he’d ask why you were doing that when you knew he’d give you affection whenever you want. he’s just confused.

K - Kiss (Their favorite way to kiss you?)

his favorite way to kiss you is away from others. pda isn’t his thing.

iida knows his strength, so he’s gentle.

he’ll lift your chin with his hand and press soft kisses to your lips and cheeks

or he’ll hold your face in both of his hands and bring you real close

(you can put your hands on his chest)

(he likes it)

L - Love Confession (How did they confess their love?)

he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he tried to be as respectful as possible

i think uraraka and midoriya would scout and interrogate you to see if you like him first

“WHAT’S HIS FAVORITE COLOR, Y/N? DO YOU KNOW?”

as if that’s an indicator

i think he’d give you a letter confessing because he was afraid his presence would be too intimidating for you to give a real answer

it would be very sweet and to the point

M - Mean (What are they like when they’re mean? Is it common?)

when he’s mean, it’s because he feels like he’s not meeting expectations or fulfilling his goals and he gets frustrated

it really isn’t about you but your distractions certainly aren’t helping his focus

i don’t think he’d full on yell at you, he’d just get pissy and ask you to “please let me get my work done”

it’s not really common, because he’s not usually behind on his work

N - Nicknames (Do they have nicknames for you? What are their favorites for them?)

i can’t see him do any of the goofy or overly affectionate ones like.. baby or something

probably just sweetheart, darling, my love, etc. or your first name bc even that feels like a lot to him

??? i don’t really know what he’d call you

but i think it’s cute to call him tenya, ten, honey, baby, etc.

he needs to be taken care of so just anything sweet and i think he’d be flustered

and ingenium (because it would annoy him HAHA)

O - Open (How long did it take for them to open up to you?)

i think that he’d hold back for the most part until he’s sure you’re serious about him and you’re not going to make fun of him for his deepest feelings

if he’s dating you, he expects that he’s able to trust you, so i think he would be relatively easy in opening up to you

P - Proposal (How would they propose? Would they propose at all?)

WOOOOOOOO

he would propose. duh.

he would plan it months in advance and have the perfect ring picked out for you, but he could barely wait to propose

i don’t think he’d propose on a dating anniversary, because that day is supposed to be special on its own, and he doesn’t want to take away from that

i think he’d take you out to dinner, and have the ring in his pocket, but wait until you got home to propose so that everyone in the restaurant wouldn’t make a scene about it 

you’re confused when he holds two items behind his back and asks you to choose which one you wanted first

he’s not usually playful like this, but you play along

you pick the ring first, and he suggests that you pick the other one

it’s three roses (that means “i love you”)

shameless self promo... i talked about that in another one where tensei says that iida should get you that for valentine’s day, finally tenya listened

and then when you ask “what’s in the other hand?” 

he gets down on one knee

congrats, honey <3

Q - Quiet (What are quiet moments like with them?)

i have a draft on this waiting for me to work on it, but sure i’ll give you something

quiet moments with tenya are comfortable. 

sitting under a blanket together on the couch while he types away at his laptop

the look on his face when you take the first bite of dinner together, and he was nervous to try the new recipe, but you were sure it’d be okay

how he always, always, waits for you to finish eating before he gets up to start cleaning up dinner

(he’ll compliment your cooking even if you think it turned out awful)

(even if it did, he doesn’t know how to use a potato peeler, so he can’t really say much in that department)

the quiet moments of intimacy where he hands you a jar of spices that comes next on the recipe

or where he tucks your hair behind your ear

or bends down to tire your shoe for you

R - Rainy Day (What are they like in the rain?)

he holds the umbrella with his left hand and your hand in his right

makes sure you don’t get wet, and tries not to let his glasses get wet

tenya would kiss you in the rain, but under the eave of a building or an overhang where he can do it the right way.

S - Sad (How do they handle their sadness? How do they react to yours?)

he handles his sadness by writing in a journal or he likes reading books from his younger days to make him feel better

he bottles his emotions, but not because he wants to, he just accidentally neglects his emotions because he’s too busy with other things

i think he would talk to you about it if you asked, but he wouldn’t bring up his emotions 

if it was you?

he would react very kindly to your sadness, and he would try to be as comforting as possible without forcing you to talk about it

but of course he’d listen if you wanted to, and offer his support and advice if you wanted it

he would drop everything for you, putting his pen down the moment he sees your eyes brimming with tears

and he’d pull you to his chest and whisper words of adoration and hold you until you feel better <3

T - Time (How long did it take for you to get together?)

maybe like three months to start dating while the two of you were at UA, just because he wanted to make sure you were interested in him before he came on too strong 

he would ask you to be his sparring partner just so that he could compliment you <3 

he’d let you win that day, but would NEVER admit that regardless of how long you’ve been together/married

he just says that you bested him that day, so he’s been the best for you ever since

damn, that was cheesy, tenya. 

love is super gross 

moving on

U - Unique (What’s an interesting thing about them that not a lot of people know about?)

i can either go super angsty with this one or just go normal

hm. i’ll spare you.

not a lot of people know that tenya plays the piano!

he learned when he was young because his parents insisted it would make him more well-rounded, but he quit taking lessons early on and just taught himself from then on

he likes the predictability of music, and how really it’s just a pattern if you think about it, it’s just where to and where not to play

someone requested that i write the angst version, and you can find it here !

V - Value (What are some of the things they value most in life? value most about you?)

he values respect, integrity, and dedication. 

he cares that you respect him and everything he works for, but encourages you to let him know if you ever notice a hint of self-interest in his hero work

he doesn’t want to ever become a corrupt hero and lost his integrity

he values your honesty and your ability to make everything more fun

he finds fun in quiet, intimate moments, but he loves how you still find him in the loud, chaotic moments, and make sure he’s okay.

he also values the fact that you’re so understanding of how important hero work is to him, and how he has to put his life on the line.

you know that he has to stay at the agency or on patrol late sometimes, but you’d never ask him to stop, because you know he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if someone was left unprotected because he was home

W - Wildcard (random fluff headcanon)

i don’t know i saved this one for last

i just wrote 25 others though, why don’t you read those?

kidding...

tenya loves dad jokes because they’re meant to be taken literally and he loves seeing the disappointed look on your face 

“honey, do you want to help me with dinner? i’m hungry.”

“hi, hungry, i’m tenya iida, also known as in-”

“STOP”

“it’s always lovely to meet my admirers! i hope to inspire many great heroes!”

but he hates puns and will sigh deeply without laughing at all 

“that was awful, y/n.”

“HAHAHA”

X - XO (Are they affectionate with hugs and kisses? If not, are they in other ways?)

at ua, he’s not really affectionate with hugs and kisses yet

he’ll show affection by patiently going over that stubborn math problem again and not getting upset when you ask him to repeat the formula again

or he’ll remember to ask you about the plotline in the book you’re reading or how your favorite show is going

and he’ll offer to buy your lunch or bring you a special snack from his secret supply in his room :)

as your relationship progresses, he’s more physically affectionate behind closed doors, but it’s not a common thing and he isn’t clingy about it 

when you’re married, he’s also affectionate in other ways, like he’ll do meal prep for you to make dinner easier for you to make, because he knows it’s hard to wait for him to get home and eat so late

or he’ll do that laundry you’ve been too busy to get to

he’ll go all out every once in a while, but he knows making life a little easier and a little sweeter sometimes sticks with you 

Y - Yearn (How do they deal with yearning?)

he didn’t yearn for you for long at UA, because he just... realized he had a crush and then decided to pursue you, but i’m sure it was hard to get over the initial “oh, shoot” of realizing he has a crush when he’s at UA to become the best hero he can be

he feels his love for you more intensely than he’s ever felt love before, and he’s not exactly sure what to do with your name constantly plaguing his mind. 

i think he’d work a little harder in school and in training because he wants so badly to have a good, long life with you, and for everything to be perfect

he’ll get what he wants, because he works hard for it, and you’re willing to support his dreams

Z - Zen (What makes them calm?)

quiet evenings, quilts, candles, cooking together, soft music playing in the backgroud, looking at photos from your wedding, daydreaming about your future together, reading, and coming home to you after a long day.

✧ hope you liked this! it was super fun to write and it was cool to think about tenya in all of these different ways.

love, tj 🦢

✧ navigation

✧ masterlist

[thotsforvillainrights]

Hello, here's my resume for the matchup <3

I'm a bisexual brown girl and I can be very chatty.

I'm an INFP and I can be loyal to a fault, mostly kind, indecisive, playful, chatty but prefer to listen, kinda ambitious and that's all I guess.

I really like things that are considered feminine like dresses, makeup, jewellery (rings!) and things of that sort.

Things I'm interested in other than anime- mystery series, books, writing, cooking and yada yada.

My love language is 'act of service' and I could totally be a sugar mommy if I had money.

Here's my turn ons- basic hygiene (doesn't smell like they woke up in the dumpster, talking from experience :p), serious type, shows basic respect and gives space, its okay if they aren't overly romantic.

And my turn offs- perverted mindset, unfaithful and the basics.

Ummmmm I don't have a preference just please don't give me Re-destro, I don't like him.

Also thanks in advance! I look forward to your reply!

(dude, we literally have the exact same personality type whaaaa?)

Match-Up #15

I match you with Re Destro-

(Pshhhh! Hahahaha!!! Did I get you? Just kidding, I’ll stop playing now lol)

-I match you with Chitose Kizuki-

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-She’s very bold and likely asked you out before you asked her. The two of you met at her company when you came in to submit a resume. She took over the role of HR and decided to interview you herself. She probably came off as conceited at first (and maybe you were right), but I promise she has a soft spot. The interview was difficult. She was throwing a lot of hard-ball questions your way but you managed just fine. The thing that got you the job was how chatty you were. At some point during the interview you both got off topic about the job and started talking about the latest trends and shopping etc. She smirked at you before reaching out to shake your hand. “You’re hired.” She smiled and sent you on your way. I don’t think it even passed to be a week of you working there before she invited you out to lunch with her. Probably right away you noticed this wasn’t work related and that she wanted to date you. What the hell, why not? Office romances could be messy and affect your job, but she was just damn good at persuasion and got you hook line sinker.

-Dating her is so much fun I’d imagine. The shopping trips are out of this world. You’ll have to let go of the role of sugar mommy because that’s her job. She spoils the shit out of you any chance she gets. She has no issues since she does it to herself as well. She’s got a real unbeatable ‘treat yourself’ personality. Her bank accounts could cry if they had eyes to do so lol. Whatever you want just throw it in the cart or else she’ll do it herself. No seriously...she knows you can be indecisive so she’ll step in and do it for you. Cute dresses, Makeup, Jewelry, Books, Cooking Utensils, literally anything! I think the way she shows most of her affection is through gift giving. She also feels loved by having her partner spend time with her. Hopefully you can fulfil this! Speaking of love languages, she’s got no issues with acts of service but you have to let her ease into it. She’s gotten too used to having things done for herself through maid/butler life so now she’s having to adjust to doing it for you instead of having a worker do it instead. You can tell she’s trying and it’s a little funny watching her struggle (a little mean but that’s true lol).

-She’s a good person to have as a partner really. She’s got her flaws here and there but if you can put up with it then it’ll work. She can be flirty but not full on perverted so no need to worry much there. She sometimes has a hard time giving you the space you need. She has a deep fear of being left behind so it’s hard sometimes for her to leave you to yourself. She’s extremely loyal and so are you. Make sure to let her know this so she can calm it down a little bit and also so she can give you some alone time haha. As far as flaws, she’s not too playful at first but I’m sure you bring it out in her later on. She’s got an uptight and classy way about her but only you can see her silly behind closed doors. She keeps up with her looks, always smelling like the best soaps and perfumes that you can find! She’s also chatty by default thanks to her career role. Sometimes you sit back and let her talk while you listen. It’s nice to have someone ask her questions for once instead of the other way around. She admires your ambition and she thinks your interests are rather lovely. She makes note of everything you like so when date night rolls around she knows what to do to make you happy. That’s just her long-term goal...making you happy.

[nameless-brand]

Ahh. I'm not very well-versed in astrology, so I had to look up some parts - particularly of the lot system - and I guess the interesting device used to derive those angles from each other? I'm assuming it's a device. Admittedly, I'm not really good at math beyond crunching numbers - asking me to do geometry is like asking me to do a standing backflip, which isn't going to happen now. Haha.

So why use classic astrology when modern astrology seems more convenient? Is it more accurate cause of the parts? or is it that the amount of work put into isn't worth the (possibly slight) increase in accuracy? Because that sounds like a lot more parts are being added.

Is the natal chart part of the modern astrology or classic astrology or both? And it makes more sense than the way astrology is done in our world - or at least how I think is done in our world - they usually take our birth month, sometimes also years, and derive a fortune based on it. It's probably not real astrology given the fact these fortunes are done on newspaper - and probably pretty generalized - but it's the closest thing to astrology I've experienced beyond my more experienced friend believing in it.

That makes sense. Usually, there's just more information in a more popular/famous figure than the others that exist in their time. Star outshining all others, I suppose. Are mages typically more famous than their non-magical counterparts? I'm assuming this is due to the ability to single-handedly affect events in a way a more mundane person can't.

Oh. That sounds like a nice game. Better than most of the ghost-genre-games I've seen, which usually amount to horror - fulfilling last requests is just so much nicer as a genre. Haha.

Soooo Chicken (or until it remembers it likes to be called Lord Ji (which also means Chicken)) instead being large at all times apparently has acquired the ability to change its size at will - it can grow two stories tall if the news report is to be believed. And with Lev and Chicken arguing, it's gonna come to the point where Chicken will just grow and sit on Lev to win the argument, which is bad because the dining room is tiny.

Oh, that's what it entails here! You track the positions of the stars for certain dates and try to gather what the stars are telling you! I feel like it's actually a lot more complicated than most people give it credit for? Because I feel like the average person looks at astrology and they're like, oh, it's easy, anyone can do it, and it's not! There's actually a fair bit of math to it, and... personally, I'm not the best at math, I usually mix things up, but it's less math equations and more looking at the angles of the planets in relation to each other! Then you have to take into consideration if it's a day chart or a night chart (though a lot of modern astrologers choose to not make that distinction).

Not to mention, you have to check in with the people you're working for if they want something done in the modern way or the classical way, because if they ask for modern astrology, that's usually less work than classical astrology, which involves a lot more Agrabahian Parts, like the Part of the Spirit, the Part of Relationships, the Part of Victory, Bravery, Despair, so on and so forth... and that's not even getting into the Fortunes of the Houses, or the Fortunes not related to either the planets OR the houses, or and then the Fortunes related to lots, and there are MANY lots!

Mostly, a lot of them are outdated - you don't really need astrology to tell you about how certain crops are doing, what with modern science - but you might get someone who wants to know, just in case, so it's important to learn, or at least have the formula for that written down somewhere!

Plus sometimes astrologers who are working for just one client need to learn how to relocate someone's natal chart in the event that they've chosen to move out of the city they were born, permanently, which is a much more frequent concern nowadays since it's a lot easier to just move! But usually your natal chart suffices for most things when you're working with things.

But you probably would prefer that I don't talk for hours about astrology! So I will restrain myself.

Yeah, it's basically that in terms of history, she wasn't the most important figure. Her father the Sultan was even less important. Plus, neither of them were mages, so there just isn't as much information to find because they just didn't do things on as grand a scale?

I just picked up Spiritfarer! It's a game about being a ferryman of the dead, picking up dying souls and keeping them happy and fulfilling their last requests before they can move on. I just started, so I don't really know what I'm doing, but the art is really nice!

Wh... what do you mean you hope Chicken doesn't grow big? Is that... something they can't control? I read a little bit, but I wasn't sure if I really understood what was going on.

[mrhrmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

Hiii could I please get bnha & haikyuu matchup? Preferably with males pls. My pronouns are she/her. I am 5’4, an ambivert and a Latina. My enneagram is type 4. I have pale skin, mid-length brown wavy hair with bangs, and hazel eyes. I am described as someone who comes off as cold or aloof when I’m around people I don’t know. After getting to know me, I am the complete opposite. I’m just a bit shy at first lol. My friends have told me that I give good advice but like to joke about my stubbornness. I like to make people laugh and try to make the best of any situation. However I have a hard time expressing my emotions. I’m also described as easy going and fun to be around. I also love animals especially dogs.

I am a hip hop dancer and love to perform. Dance to me is very freeing and I'm usually dancing anywhere anytime haha. I choreograph a lot as well. I also enjoy reading could vary from manga to non-fiction. I love music especially hip hop, rap, & reggaeton. I also love to write music/poetry. At one point I was composing 2-3 songs a day but lately I've lost my creative streak. I never show anybody though since I’m really shy about it. I'd love to one day tho! I can be playful and love to tease my friends. I also really like to eat and travel. I am a bit of a homebody but I enjoy hiking because of the exercise. I really enjoy having deep conversations. I can’t stand people who bully others and people who are fake. I like to be honest and helpful in any way I can. My style is usually anything comfy/casual and I don’t really like wearing skirts or dresses. I speak English and Spanish (learning Japanese & Portuguese). I would love to learn ASL and Hawaiian one day as well. I enjoy watching crime investigations, probably one of my favorite things to watch.

I don’t really any fears, just not being able to accomplish my goals/dreams. I tend to daydream a lot and I’m also a big procrastinator 😭. I'm usually in my head a lot which tires me a bit. Alone time for me is definitely important. I would say my love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. I’m usually really cold towards the person I like lol. Only because I test the waters to see if I should spend time and energy on them. I tend to be a bit jealous/possessive, not in an unhealthy way though. Just wouldn’t match with someone who is very flirty with other people lol. What I look for in a partner is someone that is selfless, mature and has depth to them. Also if they are really accepting because I’ve never had that growing up. I'm a bit touch starved lol. Thank you so much 💖💗💕

tl;dr Hinata Shoyo thinks your really cool and supports your goals/you in general fully. Tamaki Amajiki thought you were scary at first, but once you warmed up to each other he ally admires you, and thinks your cute.

Hope this is alright, still new to the whole matchup thing:

Haikyū!!:

I give you…One Shoyo Hinata

He may not always be the most mature person, even in the Haikyū timeskip, but he makes up for it in other ways.

You would probably meet after his first year, probably sometime between end of his second-timeskip around 2018.

Really depends on where you are, I won’t go to into detail seeing as some people might not want spoilers, I will put any spoilers down below the cut at the end of this.

If it’s during high school still, you might be a new manager for Karasuno, or even the manager of another team they are having a practice match with.

Just some things…:

> would love that you can speak multiple languages, he thinks it’s so cool that you can communicate to all kinds of people, and he’d probably ask you to teach him a little bit as well

> he probably wouldn’t care if you were ever distant/cold, he understands that it takes time for people to warm up to each other, (Kageyama, Kenma even, good examples there)

> if you told him/he saw/you showed him your dancing, he would probably be open jawed thinking stuff like “that- is so freaking cool!!!” yeah- mental exclamation marks.

> if you showed him how to do a couple moves? amazing, he’s gonna brag and go show his teammates tomorrow at practice what he learned how to do

> sometimes he can be a bit energy draining, but if you tell him you need alone time? he understands completely and will give you your time (might be a bit impatient in waiting for you to send him a message saying hi but he respects that all fully.)

> this dude would be so freaking supportive of you- I will go more on this below the cut for manga spoilers- but he’d just think your one of the coolest people ever

> if you do warm up to him, and decide “this is alright” he’d smile so big and just- hug you so tightly because he’s so happy you feel comfortable around him

> being the kind of person he is, he totally understands you wanting to pursue your dreams. he’d support you, your hobbies, all of it.

> if you told him about your song writing + that you’ve been a bit out of it in your writing he would beg you to let him read or hear some of your work (if you said no he’d understand but he’d still in his mind hope someday maybe you would), he’d ask if you wanted him to try and give you some inspiration, his first answer being “Volleyball!”

> he’s so freaking cuddly once he knows if your comfy with that, he’d hug you, hold you hand, all of that

> start of your relationship he’d definitely be blushy and a bit shy (girls though amiright?)

> he’d watch crime shows with you for sure, he might not share the same love for them, but he loves to cuddle up with you to watch them, he might play with your hair, he just likes to be near you to be honest

> he just thinks your freaking cool and really pretty

BNHA:

Ah hmmm…I give you one Tamaki Amajiki?

Its quite the flip around from Hinata but hear me out….

You are probably also a hero-in-training. You might training to be a more rescue based hero, knowing multiple languages you’d be good at containing a scary situation/containing the crowd. Good at calming people down to evacuate or get to safety..

When you meet to be honest he thought you were scary, shivering in his shoes,

as he gets to know you though, whether it’s from observing you or because Mirio or Nejire have tagged you along with them so he had no choice really-

he finds your not all that scary! The other too can be exhausting so you might drift off towards him for a chiller vibe…

Just some things:

> you’d probably bond over food a bit, and both having the want to stick up for others, (or a dislike for meanies).

> it would take a while for you Both to warm up to each other much/fully, but when you do its quite great

> A slower relationship for sure I think, even once your both more comfortable with each other, not a whole lot of affection at first though

> if you first initiated any affection (verbal or physical), he’d probably be a blushing mess, don’t worry though, he finds it easier to show not tell, so once you’ve talked about it to each other and he’s gotten reassurance from his friends, he’d probably be much more affectionate

> probably lots of comforting, cuddles, not a lot of public affection- he’d rather keep it behind closed doors. when your alone he loves to hold you hand or just pat your head, mostly small things but baby steps matter

> if you tell/show him your dancing he might be intimidate, he’d think it’s cool but he’d definitely have a little bit of a mindset about you like he does with Mirio, he loves and supports your dancing fully though

> same with your writing- if you showed him he would probably think “oh well now i have to add to my list of reasons my s/o is amazing.”

> food dates + movies/tv shows probably, he’d watch crime shows with you, he thinks they are interesting, he mostly loves the look on your face when your doing/watching something you love

> definitely lots of comforting him when he’s anxious

> he likes it when you speak in languages he doesn’t speak, he also likes to try and mentally guess what he thinks your saying

> you both need your alone time, so he gets that and respects your space, he hopes you’ll do the same

> he really understands your want to fulfill your dreams and goals, and he really admires you and thinks your really cute.

this was a little rushed and I probably could have found better characters-

hope this is alright if you want a re-match I can do that for sure <3

timeskip!hinata/manga spoilers below the cut

if you meet after high school:

> you both can speak similar language! (assuming that in this made up universe you have already learned how to speak the rest on your list..)

> imagine that cuddly hinata- but better. it’s the timeskip beef all the characters got like—

> if you met/were together when he was doing beach training, he would definitely try and teach you a bit of beach volleyball/indoors as well.

>when he goes back to japan and joins msby? you probably moved over there with him, if not you can probably make a long distance relationship work just fine

> he would brag to his new teammates so freaking much about you too, especially about your dance skills and how many languages you speak

> he’s just really proud of you tbh

> he understands your want to succeed/ achieve your dreams/goals, I mean he moved to freaking Brazil to help him achieve his, so i think he definitely relates