#there is literally nothing in canon that forbids this from happening anywhere

[heyclickadee]

“Hey, you okay?”

“I…no.”

“Okay. Talk to me.”

“Phee…what if we made a mistake?”

“What?”

“There is hardly anywhere the Empire is not these days. What if something happens to one of us? To both of us? What if you go out on a mission for Vos and you are killed or”—

“It’s us, brown eyes. And it’s me. I’d like to see the Empire try to keep me down.”

“Then what if one day I wake up and I cannot remember you? Or the girls?”

“Then we’ll help you remember all over again. All of us.”

“But what if”—

“You were having that nightmare about Tantiss, weren’t you?”

“Yes. I…don’t want to…go back to being….”

“Listen, Tech Ninety-Nine Genoa: you are never going back to that ever again. I promise.”

For the day five prompt of ND Tech Week. I’m thinking it takes Tech a little while to get back home, and a little while longer to figure out who he really is. He still has some rough days, and worries in ways he didn’t before. Whatever happened to him, and whatever he did afterwards, was something he couldn’t control—and it kept him away for so much longer than he wanted. Still, every once in while it hits him how much they lost, and how much they got back, and in spite of everything he thinks he must be the luckiest man in the galaxy to have come out the other side. After all, better late than dead. As Phee always says. (Or did that one time.)

[magical-trash-peasant]

finally. The probably ooc Saberlot headcanons that literally no one asked for 😈

(disclaimer: these are just my thoughts, not canon obv. will not necessarily be in order. I also don't know how to put things under the cut. apologies.)

(couldn't find the artist who drew the cover pic, so if you know who they are pls lmk 🤞)

Platonic Yandere! Saber Lancelot

tw: yandere, stalking, unhealthy platonic relationship, obsessive behavior, violence, kidnapping, slight manipulation

✯-------------------✯-------------------✯

- First of all, we need to identify what Yandere type Lancelot is.

- Based on the way Lancelot acts in-game, he is very respectful and thoughtful when it comes to his Master and their boundaries, and according to his servant profile, "never tries to get heavily involved". But this isn't regular Lancelot we're talking about.

- During a normal Holy Grail War, the circumstances are nothing less than perilous.

- Since Lancelot is already loyal to whatever Master happens to summon him during the HGW(and since I don't think Lancelot would become obsessed with a Master who's a complete dickhead), your kind and generous nature only serve to make him more protective than he already is.

- In his mind, he had led Guinevere, King Arthur, and Camelot to ruin. His only wish for the Grail is for the King to judge a traitor like him. Therefore, Lancelot sees you as his shot at redemption outside of the Grail. He refuses to fail you.

- Even though his intentions start off innocent enough, Lancelot knows his protectiveness goes beyond what would be considered "normal", even taking the Master-Servant relationship and the HGW into consideration. At first, he tries to restrain himself to keep his distance and not cross your boundaries, but his paranoia gets the better of him. He sees it as necessary.

- For a female master, he might be a bit more overprotective because of the whole "damsel in distress" thing. He's supposed to be a pillar of chivalry, after all.

- Not unlike his regular counterpart, Lancelot likes making himself useful and is eager to dispel his Master's worries. So for his yandere counterpart, his priorities are keeping you safe *and* keeping you happy. Your happiness is his.

- So I headcanon Lancelot as a Lucid Obsessive/Protective type.

Let's elaborate on his behavior during the HGW.

- If you have to go out in public, anywhere, at any time, Lancelot insists on going with you. Wanna go for a walk? Great! He'll join you. Need to go shopping? Cool, he'll help you shop, bring your things to your car, and because of his Riding Skill, can even drive you to and fro if you want him to. Hanging with friends? They wouldn't mind an extra person, right?

"Going out? Ah, I see. Allow me to accompany you. Do you need any help getting ready, My Lady/Lord/Master?"

- If Lancelot and another Servant are engaged in battle, he insists you stay hidden while he handles the Servant and their Master. He can't risk the enemy Servant or Master targeting you, after all. He'd only involve you if he needed you to use a command spell. Your safety comes before anything else.

- Speaking of friends, Lancelot prefers to go with you to meet your friends. Who knows what kind of danger they could pose to his Master? However, if you aren't fond of Lancelot tagging along with your friends and tell him to stop, or god forbid you *sneak out* in the middle of the night, Lancelot won't be far from you. He's no idiot. He knows where you're going. Instead of materializing, scaring the shit out of you and your friends and taking you back home, he opts for watching you in his spirit form. That way, he can be close to you without you getting suspicious.

- That said, if he thinks one of your friends is a serious threat, or god forbid does something to *actually harm you*(if they can even touch you before he does something, that is), he's instantly materializing and taking you to safety. Depending on the severity of the injury, he may decide to go back and teach them a lesson once your health is insured. Whether that's just intimidating them until they piss themselves or physically harming them is up to him.

- If you offhandedly mention something you like, or Lancelot sees something small he thinks would make you happy, expect to have it within the week. If you have any chores you need to do, like unloading the groceries and washing dishes, he'll happily offer to do it for you.

- If you're out in public, he'll offer you his arm(or his hand, if you ask him to), will hold the door for you, shield you in a crowd, and will give you his jacket/cape if you get cold.

- I think Lancelot would enjoy domestic days with you. Making breakfast, watching TV, and just having fun together are the times where Lancelot is happiest. After all, there's usually very little actual downtime during a Holy Grail War, so he cherishes the moments he gets to spend with you alone.

- Lancelot isn't an especially affectionate man, but he doesn't mind putting more effort in that department if it makes you happy. Like a hug here and there, a polite kiss to your knuckles, letting you lean on his shoulder whilst relaxing, or keeping a grip on your hand in public.

- The only kind of affection Lancelot would have to refuse is any kind of sexual contact/intimate romantic contact(kisses on the lips, neck, etc.). Not only does he not see you in a romantic light, but he has too much respect to do anything like that. He draws a hard line between platonic and romantic affection that he refuses to cross.

- Since Lancelot is an overprotective type, I can see him being wary of everyone you cross paths with, strangers or not.

- But despite this, Lancelot isn't the type of person to go around slaughtering people he doesn't particularly like/trust, yandere or not. He's still a knight, after all. Instead, I think he'd try to lessen the time you spend around said person, whether it's steering you away from them in public, subtly threatening them when you aren't around, or second-guessing the trust you've placed in them. He's only got your best interests at heart, right?

- If you happen to catch onto his behavior, or even snap at him for it, he'll back down a bit. But like I mentioned before, he'll probably just stalk you in his spirit form, or follow you anyway, and insist it's "for your protection".

"...I see. I'm deeply sorry, Master. I will do my utmost to restore your faith in me." *proceeds to follow you anyway*

- If you have a date, expect Lancelot to grill them with questions/menace the shit out of them when you aren't there and stalk you both from nearby the entire date. His reaction is derived from both his yandere side and his experiences with his past encounters, like Guinevere and Elaine of Corbenic. Not to say he'd actively try to sabotage your date for no reason though, he stills wants you to be happy.

- I think it would take extremely dire circumstances for Lancelot to even consider kidnapping you.

- He hates crossing your boundaries, being disrespectful, and making you unhappy. And he knows that kidnapping you or keeping you on lockdown would be doing practically all of those things.

- So for a kidnapping to take place, I think you'd have to be practically fatally wounded by an enemy Servant/Master or trying to sever your contract with him prematurely(either because you caught on to his behavior or otherwise).

- Even then, him "kidnapping" you is more like him just keeping you in your house/home base for extended periods of time. He treads lightly, though. He knows if he makes you too upset/suspicious that you could easily use a command spell to compel him to leave you be for extended periods of time. Which is the last thing he wants.

- Due to this fact, I think the worst "punishment" you'd ever receive is a harsh reprimand, and Lancelot cutting into the time you spend alone even more.

- So overall, I don't think Lancelot would be the worst yandere to have. Maybe not the best, but certainly not the worst. Just a devoted knight who only strives to maintain your safety and happiness.

(this is literally my first fanfic/headcanon I've ever written, so feel free to leave feedback! thanks for reading! <3)

[benisasoftboi]

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel III:

...I’m gonna need like a week to process that

I guess I know why people hate George now!

Could really use a good old reset from KeA right now

This is the best game in the Cold Steel series so far. Easily

I... there’s no way they’re all really dead, right? This series has been completely toothless about killing anyone who isn’t a villain until now, no way they’re permanently killing someone who’s been here since practically day 1, no way. Show me a body

And even then I’ll doubt it with all these revivals happening all over the place 

‘He’s HIDING’ I sob as I apply clown make-up 

Ben Diskin did not need to go so hard on the voice acting at Millium’s death he did not need to do that to me

My god when Angie drove into the graveyard and my PS4 popped up a little notification telling me it was a blocked scene, the tension in me... and I never saw that coming, I’ll have to see if it was foreshadowed at all by replaying CS1 and 2 some time

I saw Lughman being a baddie a mile away (a mysterious professor turning out to be evil in a Trails game? UNPRECEDENTED!) but he’s Alisa’s dad!?

Neat writing trick actually, since they probably knew we’d guess the former, they blindside us with the latter

I can’t express how happy it made me that the Rufus battle was Machias Jusis Elliot. My dream team!

Estelle and Joshua got mentioned so much I figured they’d make a surprise appearance at the end and save the day

:(

So. Characters:

Rean: Rean is once again moderately more interesting than he was before, but still the least interesting person in the game. I guess he’s got some guilt that’s actually justified now, that’s cool? 

I ship him with Crow, not because the pairing really appeals to me that much, but because being shipped with Crow would totally piss Rean off and I find that extremely funny

His relationship with Altina is the best relationship he’s ever had with a female character and it is 100% because she’s the only girl he’s never ship teased with

(I don’t have an issue with the concept of ship tease itself, I have an issue with Rean-ship tease because 1. I still truly do not understand why so many girls like him so much and 2. None of it will ever canonically go anywhere)

(Seriously I’m so tempted to write a breakdown of why every other guy in Erebonia is more desirable than Rean)

Juna: I like Juna. I realised early on that she and Kurt remind me of Estelle and Joshua, without being carbon copies, and that’s good. I also think her relationship with Rean was really interesting - ‘I don’t know how to feel about you because you saved my life, but it also wouldn’t have needed saving if it weren’t for your country’s actions, which you’ve played a major role in - but now I’m being forced to confront that you’re a human being too’ is a really complicated situation for her. It’s a lot more interesting than ‘I don’t like you because you accidentally got a face full of chest’, Alisa

I also really liked using her, I ended up loading her with the Platinum Pecky Medal and defensive stuff, and she was a wall, she took an S-craft from Arianrhod in her stride! My buff girl!

She should’ve just been the new protagonist ngl

Kurt: Kurt had a lot to live up to, seeing as his brother is my favourite minor character. And oh does he succeed, Kurt is my favourite of New VII, he’s a good straight man, he’s great in battle, I like his arc, I like his friendship with Juna, I like Kurt

Altina: I was not sure about Altina just... being a student now. But damn if she didn’t have the best character arc in the game. I only did her final bonding event on a whim, but it’s the best one I saw. My girl Allie deserves the damn world

I really, truly believe those three have a bond as well, they’re very well written as a group. This was a problem I had with Old VII, the fact that so many of them just... didn’t have relationships with each other. How do, say, Fie and Machias feel about each other? I have no idea. But this group has a fantastic dynamic and it makes that ending so much more effective

It’s like I praised Crossbell for, really - having a small core group is much more manageable in terms of giving them all equal screen time and getting me to care about them

Musse: Uh, kind of one-note and annoying, honestly. I don’t hate her or anything, but like... she’s either Being Mysterious or Hitting On Her Teacher (I hate it I hate it so much). It’s just hard to care about someone who’s clearly so fake, I guess? I’m definitely interested in her, but like... I don’t really like her

Ash: Poor boy. I thought Ash was such an interesting character (and man do I love having someone around who does not like Rean, and never really changes his mind about it). Ash is very well done imo

Alisa: Alisa is good when the issue is her family drama, and is so goddamn boring when it comes to Rean. Nothing new there

Elliot: I love his little ponytail I love it he’s so cute I want to hug him so bad

Laura: Winner of the ‘best new outfit’ award (was never that fond of her war outfit, but this one is perfect). Still good, but not notably so. I feel so bad for Laura, she tries so hard to matter, but she’s by far the character you’d have the easiest time lifting out of the game

And while I love Elliot... same situation really. You could go back to the start and have one character named Elliaura who likes swords and music and has two big-shot dads, and you wouldn’t lose much

Machias: Took down Rufus, yeah, destroy your best friend (boyfriend)’s evil family! Winner of the ‘worst new outfit’ award, AGAIN. Also winner of ‘dorkiest S-craft’. I did his final bonding event first, and according to Playstation trophies it’s the least popular one! Stop sleeping on my boy Machias guys, I know he was annoying in the first game but I love him :(

Gaius: Special award to Gaius for finally being interesting! Boy’s a Gralsritter now, did not see that coming!

And of course it happened off screen. Because god forbid interesting stuff happen to Gaius when we’re actually around

Oh also goddamn, that is a beautiful man

Emma: Don’t really like the new outfit. It’s kind of remarkable that she’s so important but I keep forgetting she exists. Exposition witch who sometimes just doesn’t deliver the exposition I guess

Fie: Still my fav girl. Wish there had been more focus on her feelings about her dad coming back to life. Like that she’s a bracer

Jusis: Wasn’t sure how to feel about his newly close friendship with Millium because I was concerned that I was meant to ship it (by far my least favourite thing about this franchise is that that was not an unreasonable concern, as it wouldn’t even be the most inappropriate relationship in this game alone). Very, very glad it was confirmed sibling-y (not that it’s stopped them before). He didn’t really get to do anything else, sadly, but he’s good as always

I did the Purebread contest with him, and he made bread from coffee beans Machias gave him, the Ferdibert Fire Emblem energy- 

“What are you doing underneath this scarlet Pleroma Grass?”

Milliam: :(

Sara: Doesn’t get much to do because this cast is bloated but like, I still really like her :)

Towa: Someone needs to check on Towa all her friends are dead or evil the poor poor girl (or uh. I guess Crow isn’t... hmm.)

Angie :(

My kids Tita and Agate are back and completely overshadowed by people teasing this almost 30-year old man about being in love with a 17 year old that he’s only ever claimed to see as a sister, I swear to god

The orbal gear looks so goofy lol

Stop mentioning Schera as just being ‘totally here, just off screen, ha ha’ give her a model! Have her be here!

Don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing Josette again, I just don’t get... why? Why is she here?

Tio is back! And so is Randy, as a major character! I’m very very happy, I love them both

Michael’s fine, I guess? He’s kind of bland but I guess that’s kind of the point and I like him just fine. He serves his purpose well

I’ve never really liked Claire all that much, but she’s fine in this one again I suppose. A bit disappointed by the Lechter reveals really, I had expected more, to be honest

Aurelia is a fun character and I enjoy her as the principal. Want to see her fight Cassius

Want to see Cassius 

I love my girl Annabelle, but she’s the only reason I didn’t get all the character profiles (how was I meant to know I could even go to the highway at that point hmmm Falcom!?)

They picked a good selection of returning Thors students. Even Dorothee isn’t as annoying as she used to be. Hilarious that she’s the only one who didn’t get a profile

Juna gave a great big speech about how awesome the SSS are and namedrops everyone EXCEPT WAZY! My FAVOURITE Crossbell character! So offensive!

Oh speaking of offensive I took Machias to the Mishy show and was told he and Rean did a Mishy dance but they didn’t show it, what the hell-

Playable Olivier! Olivier back story! I could write a goddamn essay on why Olivier is such a great character. Glaring at you Falcom

I miss Mueller :(

Ada Grant is wonderful and I want better things for her

Rufus is a damn great villain just because of how much sense his actions suddenly make when you know that one little detail of him not actually being Jusis’s brother

I hate Cedric but like, in a way where I’m having fun hating him. That little bitch

Literally what do you even actually want Osbourne

I still cannot stand Elise. Something I realised playing this game is that one of the things that stops the Estelle and Joshua relationship from being as weird as it could be is that they don’t look at all alike, it’s very clear they’re not related in the slightest. Elise and Rean look like they really could be siblings, and come to think, so do Lloyd and Cecile. Which is also teased, to a lesser extent. It would be so much less uncomfortable if they just swapped Elise and Alfin’s models ngl (though still not good)

inb4 the final plot twist of the whole series is that Estelle and Joshua actually were biological siblings all along

This game looks so much better than its predecessors. Having the models being a little rounder and softer looking makes it look much more like an updated version of the original style than the complete departure that was CS1 and 2. Every time there was a flashback, Rean would be like ‘back then...’ and I’d feel compelled to say out loud ‘when we were shiny, and looked bad!’

‘Evil ancient magic corrupts people into making them do bad things!’ is... honestly a bit of a cop out that I did not expect from this series 

I found Rean telling Patrick ‘leave room for Aidios when dancing with my sister’ extremely funny. Rean would totally be a Christian summer camp counsellor in the real world

I honestly would have enjoyed it a lot more if Alfin decided to cause a scandal and have her first dance with Elise, but we can’t have such luxuries I suppose

When you get that book on dystopias, very clever to put the author on the last page. Seeing the name Gideon gave me such a start

Racquel was easily my fav new location

Leeves > Trista no doubt, maybe I’m just biased because it looks a lot like the village I grew up in but it’s just such a nicer design

Also the branch campus > main campus purely for being smaller, making the filler segments between field trips more bearable 

I prefer the longer but fewer chapters set-up, I think

There’s so many sad faces in this write up :( 

Back when I played Sky SC, I said something about how one of the themes is ‘you are not defined by your trauma’. I now think it would be more accurate to say that the theme of all the games (but especially the Sky arc) is ‘don’t let your worst experiences define you’

Because there are characters who define themselves by their traumas and worst experiences - and those characters are all villains, or miserable, or both. Like, they don’t phrase it as such, but the requirement to be an Ouroboros enforcer is ‘have trauma and define yourself by it’

And both Joshua and Renne’s arcs are about learning not to do that

Equally, the idea that ‘it’s much easier to not to define yourself by your trauma when you have a good support system that wants the best for you’ is a big theme as well

I just think that’s a really interesting idea for a JRPG series to tackle, idk

I can’t believe I’m at the last game! This series has been my life for the past near-half a year, what do I do when I finish it?

...go back and play Sky FC, maybe?

[hopewritcs]

going with the flo(w). two.

pairing: jim hopper x reader

word count: 5k

summary: flo had worked for hawkins police department for years.  so much so that when her niece came back to town to visit the woman who practically raised her alongside her parents, she went first to the police station where her aunt introduces her to the chief of police.  except, they’ve most certainly already met--and it did not go well.  

notes: this is like kind of au of season three.  there’s not a ton of details in the fic from the whole season season, like no exact dialogue is used or anything so it’s going off of what i’m remembering at this point.  while it’s an au, there are spoilers for the season so if you haven’t seen the finale of s3 you should not read this fic!  canon events involved ! death mentioned ! don’t say i didn’t warn ya :) 

part one | how duckie got her nickname | part two

hop x reader list: @and-drew-101, @lemursfemur 

stranger things tag list: @thekidsofneibolt, @madhatterweasley, @shaykeijser, @rainy-bookish-days, @and-drew-101 (if you wanna be added to any tag list, let me know!!)

It wasn’t that you were hiding the relationship from everyone, but having your aunt working at the police station and Hopper having his daughter made things complicated.  Neither of you wanted to rush into things and have everyone know.  The problem with a small town was that one person knew, the whole town would know in a matter of hours ( maybe a day or two, if you were particularly lucky ).  So this resulted in sneaking around during the free time either of you had.  

Hopper, who usually ate lunch in his office at the station was suddenly going out for his lunch hour.  No one questioned it, since it was summer and they figured he was going to spend time with his daughter.  But the reality was that most days he was spending the hour with you.  

You usually cooked for him, or ordered in take out.  It was easier that way, because no one had to know there was anyone else in the house and that you two were together.  If you’d shown up at Enzo’s together like you’d talked about a couple of times everyone would be suspicious, rumors would be started and the next thing you know the whole town would know.  This was better.  

Wasn’t it?  

Plus, if you thought about it--the two of you had only really been together for less than a week at this point.  Maybe it wasn’t going anywhere.  

That was a lie.

You knew it was going somewhere.  Both of you knew.  You weren’t teenagers who were stupid and believed that everything was true love, and you weren’t rushing into things either.  You weren’t kidding yourselves when you thought hey, this could be the one at night.  You were both grown adults who knew your feelings and could handle themselves.  After all the time you and Jim had spent together since you moved back to Hawkins at the end of May, you knew that your feelings for each other were more than just like.  But neither of you were ready to admit that to each other.  

You were worried about starting a new job and what your aunt would say.  Plus, your romantic history wasn’t exactly the prettiest of pictures.  Not that you’d been in bad relationships, but the people who you’d been with hadn’t always been the best people.  Some of them were rude or self obsessed or just plain obnoxious and that had been what ended most of those relationships.  You knew Jim Hopper wasn’t any of those things ( even if he could be a smidge hot headed and quick to react ).  In fact, you’d say that he was the opposite--he was a good guy.  The best, in your eyes.  

Which is why it scared you to admit that out loud.  Which is why you’d waited to tell him how you felt--literally until your feelings had been pushed out of you by his daughter.  You didn’t want anything bad to happen, and you’d grown so accustomed to having both Jim and El in your life that God forbid your feelings might muck things up you’d waited and kept them back.

And Jim was worried for a lot of reasons.  He was worried because of everything that had happened--with the labs and the experiments and with El.  He knew you were a journalist and had seen the exposes, but none of that was the whole story.  And Hopper worried that being with you might bring you into danger if anything like that happened again.  Not that he was thinking that it would, because he wasn’t, but if it did he didn’t want you anywhere near it.  

He wasn’t a stranger to the fact that he’d liked you from the moment you’d gotten back to town.  Complicated one night stand or not, you were beautiful and headstrong and exactly the kind of person he could see himself being with for the long term.  But, he knew he’d screwed things up with you by leaving that night and wasn’t going to push anything on you.  So when you’d barged into his office and told him about what El had asked you all his thoughts settled on the words “it’s okay for me to like the guy that i like” and he could have sworn his heart had actually fluttered ( which by the way, he’d deny to this day if you asked him about it ).  

So sneaking around was your best option for now.  You both agreed it wasn’t so much hiding from everyone else but figuring it out yourselves.  There were a lot of variables to consider, and you wanted time to figure them all out before telling everyone.  Both of you weren’t afraid of where this was going, maybe a little apprehensive but not afraid.  Though, both of you were slightly afraid that the other wasn’t on the same page.  

And you agreed that you would have to tell El first.  

And your Aunt Flo too, but certainly El first.  

You’d gone over to spend the night at his place after he called you.  He was furious that El had left a note stating where she was going to be and not told him.  You’d had to calm him down about it, since you didn’t think Hopper showing up at Max’s house was going to be a good idea.  

“El and Max are responsible.”  You’d said, twirling the chord of your phone around your hand while you spoke.  “Jim, they’re teenage girls, what trouble could they get into?  I’m sure they’re just watching some music videos and having some fun.”  

Jim had to bite his tongue as he wanted to say they could get into a lot of trouble.  But he was hit with the harsh reminder that you had no idea about anything that happened in the town.  Nothing supernatural or other dimensional.  You had no idea.  And he couldn’t tell you.  Not now.  

Hopefully he wouldn’t have to tell you about everything--which he knew was wrong of him.  He should tell you ( at least, he should want to tell you ).  He knows he should, because sooner or later you’re going to find out that El has telekinetic powers and she can move things with her mind and maybe it’s better if you heard that from him before witnessing it yourself first.  

But, honestly?  He just can’t bring himself to tell you.  You’re a journalist.  You’re not stupid, you’d have more questions.  And he wouldn’t be able to answer all of them.  He’d signed those damned government non-disclosure forms after both incidents.  Legally he wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone about what happened.  

“I guess you’re right.”  he reluctantly grumbled into the receiver, rubbing his eyes with his other hand as he let out a loud sigh.  “Are you sure I can’t just drive over there and bring her home?”  

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” you chuckled, rolling your eyes.  And he had the nerve to call you stubborn.  

“It would make me feel better.”

“I’ll tell you what.  How about I bring over some ice cream and I’ll keep you company tonight?”  

He could feel himself relaxing at your comment, the promise of you keeping him company.  Even if he’d seen you for lunch earlier in the day, he’d admit that he missed you and wouldn’t turn down seeing you again.  “Sounds nice.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”  

“And you won’t mention El running off to her friend’s and only leaving you a note when I come over, right?” 

At that he grumbled, muttering under his breath a couple of incoherent words.  

“Right Jim?”  

Rolling his eyes he replied, “Right.”  

“I’ll see you soon.”  You’d said sweetly, hanging up the phone and then collecting your things.  The mall was closed, so you couldn’t go to Scoops for the ice cream, but you’d had a container or two in your freezer from the last time you’d gone grocery shopping and you’d splurged to indulge yourself on a couple of treats.  

The night was calm once you got to the Hopper cabin, the two of you had curled up on the couch with some late night television program playing in the background as you ate the ice cream.  There was a blanket draped over both of you, and your legs were stretched out on top of Jim’s that rested on the coffee table.  He had an arm around the back of the couch, and you were nuzzled against his chest.  

Both of you were thinking, hoping, that this would be something you could do often.  Just sitting with each other, doing nothing in particular, cuddled up together.  That was what both of you wanted.  

You could tell he was still angry about everything that happened with El, but he was making good on his promise to you--he hadn’t mentioned it once.  You agreed that the simple note about a sleepover at Max’s wasn’t the best way to handle the situation, but you also knew how thirteen year olds thought.  You didn’t think it was the end of the world as it had sounded when Jim originally called you.  

But as you looked up at him then you quietly sighed, tapping his chest with the back of your spoon to get his focus on you.  “Would it make you feel better if I went in the morning to check on the girls?  I don’t even have to mention you, I could say I was planning on something new and came over here and saw her note to you.”  

He smiled down at you as you spoke.  He was worried that, originally when you tapped him, you were going to call him out on focusing on his daughter.  But you surprised him with that comment of checking on them.  He pressed a kiss to your forehead.  “You’re amazing.” 

Giggling softly, you tilted your head up to kiss him on the lips.  “And don’t you dare forget it, Chief.” 

The next forty eight hours were such a blur for everyone.  

To you, who had never been in a situation like this before, it felt like everything was either going in slow motion or going far too fast.  

It shocked you how well everyone was reacting.  Sure, you could feel the stress levels in the air around you--the tension building up as it at happened--but it was like they had done this before.  

You’d originally gone to check on El and Max in the morning, but found them not at the Hargrove residence, so you’d left and tried to call Jim to let him know only for your Aunt Flo to answer the line dedicated directly to Jim’s office at the precinct.  

“Why are you calling Hopper, Duckie?  Is everything alright?”  she’d asked after hearing your rushed greeting for Jim.  You’d naturally assumed he’d picked up.  And hearing Aunt Flo’s voice you were glad you didn’t call him some dumb pet name or something and blow your relationship out of the waters yet.  

“No.  Yes, I mean.  Everything’s fine Aunt Flo!”  You tapped your hand against your kitchen table as you spoke, biting your lip.  You hoped you didn’t sound as anxious as you felt--it was just the nerves of not finding El where she’d said she’d be and then having to deal with your aunt on the phone when you hadn’t expected her to pick up.  

“You sure, dear?”

“Positive!  I was just calling to see if I was still tutoring El today.”  You lied quickly, through your teeth, as the thought came to your mind.  It was an easy cover.  

“Well, I would think so.  The Chief’s not in, he’s out on business involving the mayor.”  

There was an overwhelming sense of worry bubbling up in your stomach at her words, but you pushed it back.  There was no cause for alarm.  Everything was fine.  

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later Aunt Flo.  I love you.”

“Love you too, Duckie.”  

Hours later, you were driving around town.  It felt like it was deserted, because the whole entire town was down at the fair for the forth of July celebration.  You had decided not to attend, because you didn’t want to go alone.  But you hadn’t wanted to sit around at home either, so you’d gone for a drive and wound up driving past the grocery store when you saw a group of kids getting out of a car.  You slowed down, curiosity getting the best of you, and watched as the glass on the door broke and they all filed in after one another.  

Quickly you pulled up your car to a spot and rushed in after them, hearing voices and people talking about injuries and cleaning wounds.  When you came to where the group sat, you were startled to see El bleeding and immediately rushed to her side and ignoring the looks everyone else was giving you.  

“What happened?”  you exclaimed, putting your hands on either side of her face as you examined her features with worried eyes, your gaze trailing down to your leg.  “What on Earth have you gotten yourselves into?  Not to mention breaking into the supermarket.  I mean, are you kidding me?”  

“Duckie?”  El asked, blinking as she turned her gaze to look at you fully.

“Yeah, sweetheart.  You’ve had me worried sick all day.”  You said, brushing her hair out of her face before turning back to look at the teens around you.  “You all better have a damned good explanation for this!”  

“Oh, we do.  You’re just not going to like it.”  Max was the one who spoke.  Everyone else was simply looking at you with a confused glare.  

“Someone explain what’s going on while everyone else goes to get something to fix El’s leg.”  You gritted your teeth as you spoke, turning your head to look around at everyone else.  No one budged from their positions, so you snapped. “Today!”  

The group dispersed, leaving you El and Mike sitting in the aisle in the grocery store.  Mike, you figured, didn’t want to leave El’s side and you couldn’t blame him.  If it had been Hop--well, shit, your heart was pounding just thinking about that.  

“It’s a long story, Duckie.”  Mike said, turning his eyes to focus on you.  Both of you held onto one of El’s hands as you continued to spare worried glances in her direction.  

“Then you better start talking, kid.  And fast.”  

Mike looked like he wanted to say something else to you and he opened his mouth to protest, but both of you were cut off when El winced in pain.  Once she got over the wave of pain that rushed through her, she looked between the two of you and spoke quietly, “Tell her, Mike.”  

Mike nodded his head and, albeit reluctantly, began explaining as best he could about the goings on of Hawkins, Indiana.  He was doing his best to summarize everything that had happened over the past two years because they were both short on time and he didn’t know how to explain everything at the moment.  He wasn’t even sure if you’d believe him when he finished explaining.  

So you got a condensed version of El is really Eleven and an experiment from a now defunct laboratory experimenting in telekinesis and inter dimensional beings that resulted in El having powers and her running away and lots of death and destruction from monsters.  It apparently also took Will away for a while, then El, and then everything seemed to be okay for a while until things started happening again.  And now, things were happening once more.

As much as you wanted to admit how crazy it all seemed, you were nodding your head along as he spoke and taking it all in.  It really sounded crazy.  Monsters?  Evil scientists?  That was straight out of a horror story.  

But the way he said it, and then El’s input every so often you believed them.  Maybe it was the adrenaline running through your body at the time, or the fact that you wanted to believe their story because ( at least as far as you knew ) the kids had never outright lied to you.  

And that all brought you to where you stood then.  In the middle of the Starcourt Mall with the kids surrounding you as the group met up with Steve and Dustin.  You were standing off to the side, by the car on display as you awkwardly looked around.  

You probably looked dazed because you heard Dustin ask, “What’s up with Duckie?”

“We just told her.”  Mike explained simply.  

“Oh.”  Dustin nodded his head, turning away from you and then refocusing his attention on the group at hand and explaining about the Russian bunker under the mall.  

By the time Hopper and Joyce arrived with someone you’d never met in tow you didn’t even blink.  They’d immediately rushed to the kids and everyone began talking all at once.  You were still there, but not quite there there as your mind was still attempting to process everything that had happened.  You heard your name being called ( Duckie not Y/N--it was never Y/N with the kids ) and turned toward the group that had formed in the middle of the food court.  You got up on your feet and walked toward the group, and everyone seemed neutral to you being there except Joyce and Jim who from the shocked look on their faces, hadn’t expected you to be there and probably hadn’t even seen you there when they originally rushed in.  

“Y/N?”  They both asked at the same time, a similar expression on both of their faces when they spoke.  You turned your head to look at both of them, waving a hand in their direction as a form of greeting.  

You sat down near El, who was in Hopper’s arms, because you figured that was where you should sit down.  It was El who had brought all of this together, and even if you were still processing, it was El whom you cared for and wanted to protect ( even if you had no fucking clue how to protect her ).  

You did your best to look elsewhere as you heard the two of them talking.  El wanted to stay and help and Hopper was pushing her to get as far away from the mall as possible.  Your heart was pounding in your chest because you didn’t want either of them to be in danger.  El reluctantly nodded her head, going off to Mike and Max, which left you alone next to Hopper.  

“How are you doing?” he turned towards you, but his gaze was still on El.  He wasn’t sure if he trusted his daughter to stay away from the fight like he wished she would.  He wouldn’t if the roles were reversed.  

“What kind of question is that?” you hissed at him, turning to fix a glare in his direction.  You managed to keep your voice low as to not draw attention to the conversation, but you weren’t going to hide the anger you felt.  “Were you ever going to tell me any of this?”  You vaguely gestured around the mall before violently allowing your arm to drop back down to your lap.  “I mean, you have to know I’d understand.  I mean, do I still think it’s fucking insane?  Yeah.  But I don’t not believe it.”  

Did you believe it?  At this point you were one hundred percent certain that you did believe the crazy story that the kids had told you.  You’d witnessed a bit of it with your own eyes when you’d seen El yank that thing out of her own leg with her powers.  That kind of convinced you that everything Mike and El had told you in the grocery store was fact and not fiction.  But you weren’t going to sit there and pretend like you were okay with everything--you still had a lot to process.  Your head was pounding with everything you learned and you were trying to make sense of it all still.  

And you were just so worried.  

All Hopper wanted to do was pull you closer and tell you everything was going to be alright.  But, everyone else was around, and he couldn’t.  So instead he grabbed your hand with both of his and sighed.  “I was going to tell you eventually.”  

“Eventually?” you scoffed, looking down at the interwoven hands that sat between the pair of you.  “What does that even mean?”  You hated how angry you felt, and you hated even more that you felt worry in the pit of your stomach.  You didn’t want to worry, you wanted to believe that everything would be fine.  This group had faced other monsters and come out fine, why wouldn’t they now?  “Jim I just...” 

What were you going to say?  So many things crossed your mind but nothing felt right.  

“It wasn’t right to spill all of this out on you when we haven’t even figured out what we are.”  Jim spoke softly, looking directly at you when he spoke.  

“First of all, if this is how you’re asking me what we are it’s not the time, Chief.”  you couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from your lips, easing the tension as you shifted in your seat to look at him.  “Secondly, I don’t think there’s ever a right time to spill all of this.”  

“You’re right.”  He admitted, nodding his head.  “I just didn’t want you involved.  I wanted to, uh, protect you.”  He felt bashful saying that.  He should be focusing on invading the Russian bunker, not pouring his heart out to you.  

But, what better time to pour your heart out than the end of the world?

“That’s sweet of you, Jim.  But I’m a big girl and I’d be involved no matter what.  Because I love your daughter to bits and I,” your voice caught in your throat and you swallowed deeply, shaking your head before you finished, “and I’m really into you.” ( That wasn’t enough.  That wasn’t enough.  You wanted to say so much more.  But now wasn’t the time.  )  “I don’t want you to protect me from this thing.  I’d rather be by your side and not be kept in the dark.”  

“I’ll keep that in mind for the next time a crazed other dimensional monster comes out of the woodwork to try and kill us all.”  

You cleared your throat, “Next time?”

Jim nodded, “Here’s hoping this is the last time.”  Joyce and Murray called Hopper’s attention to them, and he stood up and dropped your hand back down to the side.  He took a step forward to work on everything with them, but then he turned back to look at you.  “I’m crazy about you too, Y/N.  Be safe, okay?”  

“You better come back in one piece, Jim.”  

Waiting was the worst feeling in the world.  You stood over to the side with everyone as the kids all got checked out in the ambulances.  You’d stayed by Max’s side after everything happened, holding onto her when El had gone to Mike.  And ever since then, the redheaded girl clung to you.  

El eventually came back to your side and you wrapped your arms around both of the girls, watching the building to see where the hell Joyce, Murray, and Jim were.  The feeling in the pit of your stomach was raging and you didn’t know what to think of that.  

You just wanted everyone back in one piece.  You’d already lost someone that night.  

“Where are they?”  you heard one of the group ask, but before anyone answered Will rushed forward from where he’d been standing toward Joyce who had come out of the building.  

As Will and Joyce embraced, Joyce’s eyes found you and El standing off to the side.  She didn’t know how to tell you, she couldn’t quite bring the words to her lips.  Hop was gone.  El’s dad was gone.  Your boyfriend was gone.  Yes, she knew about you and Hopper if only because after everything that she and Hopper had dealt with with Murray he’d yelled at Murray to shut up and then grumbled about having someone else--she’d suspected you two were together, but was waiting for either of you to actually tell her about it yourselves before saying anything.  

You felt the shift in the air when you made eye contact with Joyce.  You felt something plummet inside of you.  The ache that swept over you caused you to close your eyes and take in a deep breath.  

Now was not the time to break down.  You had two other people who were looking to you who needed you to stay strong.  

El understood what Joyce was doing, but she didn’t believe it at first.  Maybe she didn’t want to believe that Hopper ( one of the only adults who had ever cared for her ) was dead.  And she felt your posture stiffen and then slink down as you too realized what happened.  She looked around the lot, at the broken down mall building in the hopes of anything.  

Then she saw it, Hopper emerging from the back end of the now collapsed back entrance of the building.  El looked up to you, but your eyes were closed and your head was down.  She tapped your side and you looked at her, but her gaze was focused on something else.  You followed where her gaze was, and saw him.  He was covered in soot, looking worse for wear and a bit bloody, but he was alive and that was all you could ask for.  

Without thinking you tore yourself away from the girls at your side and ran toward him, ignoring everyone else in the parking lot as you called out his name and threw yourself into his arms as soon as you got close enough.  

“I thought you were...” you trailed off, shaking your head as you steadied yourself on him.  His arms went around your back to hold you in his arms, and your legs secured themselves around his waist.  You held his head in your hands as you shook your head. “I thought I lost you.”  And maybe you were crying, maybe your vision was blurred with tears, but you didn’t care because Jim was alive and you were in his arms.  

“I thought I was too.”  Jim said softly, looking up at you when he spoke.  Being in there when everything collapsed, he’d thought he was done for.  He’d really thought that was the end of everything--he’d given Joyce one last nod, silently telling her it was going to be alright, and he’d accepted his fate.  And then, what felt like an eternity later, he’d woken up coughing and sore under some rubble.  

He was alive.  

When he first made it outside, his eyes had searched for you and El.  He’d found you together, but hadn’t seen that El noticed him.  And he was weak, but when he saw you running for him he’d stopped and readied himself to catch you ( and, hopefully, never let you go again ).  

“You can’t scare me like that ever again.”  You brushed the dirt away from his face as best you could before you leaned down and kissed him.  You kissed him once.  Twice.  A third time.  Then you pulled back and looked at him.  “I love you.  And maybe that’s too soon and we haven’t really been dating all that long and we’re still figuring it out but I really love you and you scared the crap out of me Jim Hopper.  I’m never letting you out of my sights, I swear.  You really need to learn--”

Jim cut you off with a deeper kiss than the quick ones you’d given him before you started talking.  A chuckle broke through his lips and he pulled away from you.  “You really need to stop scolding me for a minute so I can respond.”  You opened your mouth to talk again but he shook his head and made a noise.  You rolled your eyes at him, but closed your mouth and looked at him, waiting for whatever it was he was going to say.  “I love you too.  The world could end at any second, who cares if it’s too early to say shit?”  

And you kissed him again.  

You didn’t even realize how much time had passed by until you heard a couple of hoots and hollering in the distance.  You dropped back down to your feet and took a hold of Jim to bring him over to the ambulance bay where everyone else was waiting.  

“I’m fine.” he grumbled when he got closer and realized you wanted him to see one of the medics.  “I don’t need to be looked at.”  

“Everyone thought you died, let the medics check you out.”  You said, sitting him down on one of the ambulances as a medic came over to check him out.  You stood hovering, to make sure everything was okay with Jim and to make sure he was actually there and you hadn’t had some grand hallucination.  

All seemed true, especially when El walked up and sat down in the ambulance next to Hopper when the medic had been checking his blood pressure.  She looked between the two of you and then said, “So you two are dating?”  

You laughed, “I guess that was one way for everyone to find out.”  

You wanted to be mad that that was how everyone found out, and lord you really thought about your Aunt Flo.  You could just hear her now in your head “And I’m the last one to know!  Come on Duckie, really?  The last?!”  She’d be so furious.  But you were just...relieved.  You were happy.  And Jim was smiling at you, and El was smiling and it all just felt right.  

“Just wait til the wedding!”  you heard someone call out, teasing you from where they all stood huddled up together.  

[disneydreamlights]

God okay you know what I’m going negative tonight y’all can be rest assured that I’ll be back to being a positive happy blog tomorrow with just pretty art and no anger at other ships I’m just so fucking tired I snapped and just deal with it please.

Did you all know two years ago I only hated one KH ship because of how its fans treated Xion?

Did you all know because of how other ships have been acting and treat the ships I prefer that number has gone up to five in the past fucking year?

Did you fucking know the only way to make me actively hate a ship is to collectively as a fandom be so bad that you can’t fucking act right. Because you can’t fucking admit your ship might not be canon?

Who fucking gives a shit about canon. You know what’ll happen if R*kuN*mi isn’t canon? I’ll keep shipping it because I like the ship and literally don’t care. Same with every other ship on my list. There has literally only been one ship I cared about whether it became canon and that’s because the fandom underwent so much bullshit from the fans of the opposing ship that I literally just wanted it canon so they’d shut up and stop calling the shippers of it abusive or abuse supporters when I’m literally an abuse survivor.

You know what the SoR*ku fandom did when their ship didn’t become canon? They made a four hundred page fucking theory about it and how it meant S*Kai wasn’t canon. Did you know that when I joined a general fandom server and mentioned I liked KH I immediately got jumped on like “Isn’t SoR*ku wonderful I can’t wait until the theory drops it’s going to fix everything wrong with KH3!” Did you know that I literally do not talk about this theory on my personal because so many people will start attacking you if you say you don’t like it??? Doesn’t matter why you don’t like it there are actual people out there who when I said “I don’t like this theory” on my analysis blog and explained why I thought it was bad immediately went “Well you see you’re understanding it completely wrong and ignoring everything” and then later when I spoke out against the fandom’s attitude towards it literally sent me anon hate telling me to “unlearn all the hate in my heart.” Like it’s that bad. And then they’ll edit the art and cry “Wah poor R*ku” SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I’M SO TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT R*KU AND HOW HE’S “LEFT OUT” OF THE PAOPU SCENE AND EVERYTHING.

This isn’t some fucking sleight against R*ku and the DT friendship and if you actually thought it was then you wouldn’t be crying about him only. You’d be crying about Ka*ri and how she got left out of the last four fucking games. I’ve never seen anybody in this group try to edit her in anywhere. “Oh but she doesn’t belong in those scenes. They’re about S*ra’s and R*ku’s friendship”

Well neither does he in this fucking scene. In this fucking art. It’s about the bond between S*ra and Ka*ri. It’s about their friendship or romance or whatever you want to call it, because god forbid we get a scene involving the two of them involving something that has always been theirs. There’s a reason almost nobody in the fandom (as far as I’ve seen) calls it the “Paopu Trio” and that’s because the Paopu is not the symbol of their friendship. It’s a symbol of their islands. The islands, their home, are a symbol of their friendship. That’s why they’re the “D*stiny Trio.” The Paopu has always been a thing between S*ra and Ka*ri built up since KH1, even if you don’t believe it’s romantic in origin.

I don’t even care if you don’t think the scene is romantic just please stop taking the one thing S*ra and Ka*ri get for themselves and making it about R*ku. Because even in good faith that this isn’t about some petty ship drama (which I do know for some people it is about DT and not ship drama) this is literally the biggest thing in SK’s bond and has nothing to do with R*ku and never has and just please, let us have this.

[sebastianshaw]

😒 Is there anything canon about your muse that you ignore?

I’m trying to think of an answer that ISN’T “his abusive relationship retcon with Emma” because I feel like I beat a dead horse with that and probably annoy my followers…but I can’t think of anything else? If it’s on the page with Shaw, I incorporate it—the good, the bad, the weird, the stupid, even the poorly-written. I’ve watched people get extremely picky about what they include for their muse, and while I understand that for long-running, extremely complex muses like Mystique, Magneto, Charles, and Emma, oftentimes what happens (especially with villains) is the mun seems to just cherrypick what makes their muse look BEST. And I’m not about that for Shaw; he’s a really terrible person, I enjoy that about him, and I’m dedicated to representing that as much as the few more admirable scraps here and there.So my problem with that backstory isn’t “it makes my muse look bad” or “my muse wouldn’t do that”, it’s just simply it didn’t happen. It’s not on the pages at all in the time it’s supposed to have been going on. It’s not there. It’s just not. And it also makes liking Shaw a huge headache for me in fandom, because “Emma’s abusive ex” is now ALL he is, and he’s considered one of the characters it’s not okay to like, even as a “problematic fave”. People can like SABRETOOTH, but not Shaw. And even then…I might have still taken it into my version. I might have been like “well, I don’t like it and it’s a retcon, but it’s canon now, and I want to be committed to not writing Shaw as sanitized or better than he is, I don’t want to fall into that slippery slope people do with their villain faves”…except for ONE thing, and that I feel like the whole thing was really sexist and shitty towards EMMA. Like fuck making Shaw look bad, he’s an abusive bastard anyway towards Shinobi, it’s what it does to EMMA’S backstory that bothers me.See, in making Emma the abused victim of Shaw, and Shaw as the one responsible for molding her into a villain, it takes away the agency she had as the magnificent White Queen of the Hellfire Club. It takes her from being a woman who had great power and chose to use it as she pleased for her own gain, to something much more palatable—-a sympathetic, misled young woman who simply got involved with the wrong man, but only ever had good intentions even when she was doing evil because of that man. It’s a soft, sanitized Emma that keeps her from ever having REALLY been bad, and I think that’s bullshit. Emma can be horrible, and it’s her strength as much as something she struggles with, and I like that about her. She has grit and nuance and brutality that female characters are seldom allowed. And the fact that she WAS evil, of her own free will and volition and for her own personal gain, is what makes her redemption story so POWERFUL—that she nonetheless chose to give up her old ways and her old desires, for something better. All of that vanishes if it turns out being in the Hellfire Club was actually something horrible for her. The specific WAY her past with Shaw is done is REALLY gross too. Like, she only got into the Hellfire Club as an exotic dancer, and even then she only got anywhere because Sebastian Shaw decided to pick her up? And she only learned business from him? So everything she has is pretty much due to A MAN sexually desiring her? That’s bullshit. That’s such sexist bullshit. There’s nothing WRONG with being an exotic dancer, but the way it’s written is always in a way that is clearly meant to degrade her, they write it like it’s just the most awful thing to make her endure, and like…. “woman gets somewhere in finance/business/power but she only did it by having sex with the boss” is LITERALLY the biggest stereotype of women in business, especially if they’re attractive. God forbid we just remember that Emma is REALLY SMART and probably could have gotten a scholarship to a good school like Shaw did. I’m really, truly just NOT here for the idea of Shaw or any man having had any hand in Emma’s success as a villain, hero, or businesswoman. Not to mention the idea that women aren’t capable of evil and need a man behind them to manipulate or hurt them into it is a trope from the actual VICTORIAN ERA because people were uncomfortable with the idea women could be just as evil and hard as men, instead of soft delicate dumb flowers. But when we deny a woman the chance to be a villain, we equally deny her the chance to rise above it and be a hero—or a human being.Sorry, that got so long and off-topic, it’s just SUCH A PEEVE of mine and I think people think it’s mostly about Shaw for me but it’s also just as much about EMMA.

[sagemoderocklee]

Oh what's this about "the only valid fic that’s ever going to be written for gaalee"? You don't have to tell the name of the fic I'm just curious about what happened? Like what's the deal with this fic?

oof… well, this is a conversation I’ve had many a time, but be forewarned, I have a lot of feelings on this matter and this will… not be short.

I’ll just use [redacted] but in all honesty whether I give you the name or not, I promise, it wouldn’t be difficult to know what fic I’m talking about (not least of which because I’m one of the few people who has been vocal about that fic and when asked I make it known I have No Interest in it). But literally everyone in the GaaLee fandom knows about this fic that was written–after careful research–just over 13 years ago. THIRTEEN! That’s quite a long time for a fic to maintain such acclaim, but the GaaLee fandom is small and a bit of a fic desert when it comes to content, and in a way, I think that’s to blame…. 

From my perspective, this fic–which published it’s first chapter in September of 2005 on Livejournal, then posted in April 2006 to a lesser known fic hosting website–has remained a staple in this fandom for so long because it was, by and large, one of the only decent novel length fics in the fandom at the time. And that time was a long time. If you look at the GaaLee tag on any fanfiction hosting website, you won’t have an easy time finding novel length stories with quality writing, characterization, plot, etc. 

[Redacted] was, ostensibly, the first GaaLee fic with any real substance: it had good pros, and, seemingly, it had a plot (though if you ask me the plot was “get gaara and lee together, and forget about any and all conflict outside of them once they bone down”, but I digress). 

People loved this fic. So much so that there are a number of depictions of scenes from this fic drawn by talented fanartists, there are podfics, there are probably translations, there’s a fucking TV Tropes entry. But the real impact this fic has had on the fandom? The reason I always vaguely complain about it?: “I won’t read anything if it’s not [Redacted].” 

As a writer, myself, I’m sure it’s obvious why I might have grown bitter about this fic over the course of my time in this fandom. Unlike other fandoms I’ve been in, such as the Harry/Draco fandom, which upholds the classics that helped shape the fandom but still allows for new, fresh takes, the GaaLee fandom holds on to this singular fic as the Pinnacle Fic. According to this fandom, you will never come across a greater gaalee story–never mind that this fic is 13 years old, is ableist in its depiction of Gaara, actually does forget the plot partway through, not to mention the gross ‘sand rape’ scene, and of course doesn’t hold up 13 years later with canon specifically because of mischaracterizing at least Gaara (it’s been a while since I read it, so I’m sure I’m missing things). Never mind that we, as individuals and communities, should be able to look at something more critically and say “yes, this was good at the time, but now I see that it is not perfect. Yes, this helped shape a small and lacking fandom, but it does not have to be the be-all end-all.” 

The GaaLee fandom, as indicated by the shit I was fielding thanks to daring to call out homophobia in the fandom, does not like change. It has certainly changed, even grown I’d like to think. But the fandom itself is stagnant in many ways; it does not want to let go of its old ways which is easily seen by some of the GaaLee–oh, excuse me, LeeGaa blogs out there (it’s very important to remember exactly who is putting it up whose butt, because heaven forbid we treat these characters genuinely and not depict mlm couples with gross fetishistic tropes like seme and uke–i hope that the tone of “i’m rolling my eyes” comes through strongly here). 

Now, I haven’t read this fic in about 4 years, roughly. I put off reading it for a very long time while working on Alliance because I, like so many people in the fandom, held it up on a pedestal. I worried over comparing myself to the author, I worried over the potential to be influenced in a way, that Alliance would seem too much like [Redacted]. Then, in the midst of depression and wanting desperately to read a GaaLee fic, I re-read it. I hadn’t touched it in four years–at that time–and thought “what the hell”. So I read it. 

And I didn’t like it. The pros are good, I’ll give you that. But other than the pros, I wasn’t moved. In fact, I felt only relief. “My fic is nothing like this. I don’t agree with this author’s interpretation here and here–oh my god that’s rape what the fuck” and so on. Now, it has been a long time since my last read through, so I may be missing things about the fic, but ultimately it’s not really about whether or not I like the fic, it’s not about whether or not the fic is good. It’s old. It shouldn’t really matter anymore because we should all have matured enough to say “This fic was good, it did a lot of good for the fandom, but looking back I realise it’s not what I thought it was and has some gross elements which we will not allow to continue to propagate in our fandom.” 

But unfortunately, this fic is still relevant; unfortunately this fic still matters and still shapes this fandom in far too many ways. If the common theme of this fandom wasn’t “oh my god, have you read [Redacted]” “[Redacted] is the best fic and the only one I’ll read” then maybe I’d never say a peep about this fic. It would fall to the back of my mind, a fic I read and enjoyed once upon a time, when I was young and less rounded as a person. But unfortunately, the fandom does not take the stance that other fandoms take–it is not ‘a classic we appreciate for what it did for this fandom’, it is now a weapon used against new authors. I don’t think it’s necessarily intended to be, but it is. Who wants to write a fic for this pairing when all they hear is “I’ll never read anything but [Redacted]”? Who wants to write anything when they know people won’t give them a chance? Hell, who will read things when they’re told that the only thing worth reading is [Redacted]? When they’re told that everything else in this fandom is trash? And listen, I know there’s a lot of trash in this fandom–and I don’t mean writing skill, I mean actual trash. Writers who manipulate minors into a cult following while their writing features a relationship between a 16 and 25 year old; writers who write A/B/O; writers who write ‘soft stalking’; writers who turn Shukaku into “a voice in Gaara’s head”… The list is long and ugly. But that doesn’t mean write off every writer, that doesn’t mean refuse to move past a fic that’s 13 years old.

How are we supposed to overpower the gross, ugly content if we as a fandom community refuse to give new writers a chance? How can fandom grow and change and get better, if we hold on to something from 13 years ago? (Trust me, it shows that this fic was written thirteen years ago. It is Very Obvious.) 

Yet here we are, holding on to a 13 year old story. Who else do we know in this fandom who writes? Who else has that much acclaim? Who else writes good, quality stories and gets art and a goddamn TV Tropes entry and countless people raving about their work? Do you know what happens when I say I want to read a gaalee fic? I get a number of people asking if I’ve read [Redacted] as if I haven’t been here for 11 years. It was literally the first GaaLee fic my friends told me to read so that I’d understand why GaaLee was a good ship. I read it when I was all of 18 and so new to the fandom. I read it again when I was 21. And again when I was 24. I guess the third time was the charm. 

There is a post that floats around sometimes visible in the gaalee or leegaa tag that says “guess it’s time to go reread [Redacted]” or something to that effect with something like 350 notes. 350 notes. This tired comment from years ago that suggests there’s nothing worth reading in this fandom, that’s been put out there for writers and readers of fic to see. Listen, I won’t lie, it IS hard to find good fic content! It is, but it’s even harder when you don’t give people a fucking chance. 

Do you know what conversations I’ve had with people about fanfiction in this fandom? I literally had someone, point blank, say to me and the other writers on the GaaLee discord “I don’t read anything but […] [Redacted].” 

How disheartening. How unsupportive. How insulting. Saying that to people who you know are writers, who work hard and want support. That’s ugly. That’s not cute. That’s not community. 

There are fresh new takes on Gaara and Lee, and I know that for a fact because I have worked tirelessly to help create some of these fresh takes. I know my fucking worth as a writer, I know I’m good at what I do. I’ll always be learning and refining my writing, but I am a good fucking writer and it is a slap in the face to me and every other writer out there, who dedicates any amount of time to trying to produce good written content for this pairing. We don’t need the fic tags for this pairing to be filled with the trash mentioned above (pedophilia, rape, ableism, etc). We don’t need to be a fic desert. But if people only ever read one 13 year old fic, then that’s what we’re gonna keep having. 

I’m obviously not going anywhere. I’ve got plenty of GaaLee fics to write (something like 20+), regardless of the “I’ll only read [Redacted]” people in this fandom. But who’s to say if it’ll matter in this fandom? Who’s to say it’ll change how people feel about [Redacted]? Who’s to say if I can help make a trend of supporting fic authors other than [Redacted’s Author]? I mean, the person who made that post with 350 notes, far as I know, has never read my fic content. If someone is so desperate for content that they’ll re-read something from 13 years ago, then why aren’t they also checking the GaaLee tag on tumblr or Ao3 for new fics? Like people actively complain about the lack of fic in this fandom and then… do nothing about it. And I don’t mean they should write fics necessarily. Like yes, if you’re a writer and you want to see fic content in this fandom, I absolutely urge you to write! But first, we need more people who are willing to read fics. Who will go out of their comfort zone and just give us a chance. We need these people who are always complaining about the lack of fic content to do something about it, make other authors feel better about themselves, lift up other authors, share their works, comment like your life depends on it. That’s what we need. Because there are a handful of people out there who want to write and want to keep writing for this pairing. But without support…??? They disappear. They give up. They lose interest. 

There will probably be some people who feel like personally attacked because they’ve said these things and not supported other authors, but honestly, if you feel that way then please take that and prove me wrong. Be more proactive. Find a new GaaLee writer, find a story you haven’t given a chance. Prove that this fandom can change and grow; prove that fic writers have a place in this fandom. 

Because right now, fic writers don’t have a place.

Anyway, I’ve spent the last like hour going on and on about this, and I have things to do and I’m sure you didn’t want me to write something this long, Anon. Please, just blame my Aries Mercury ass for being a passionate talker lmao 

[douchebagbrainwaves]

STARTUPS AND TEST

You just have to do something grand or heroic about starting a startup generally. Most technologies evolve a good deal of that spirit is, fortunately, preserved in macros. Not likely. Things. Well, obviously overtly sexy applications like stealth planes or special effects software would be interesting to start viewing startup ideas this way, because now that there are a couple catches.1 Users don't know what we're going to do.2 The nature of the business means that you have to consciously force yourself to keep looking. The techniques for dealing with detail. There's no controversy about which idea is most controversial: the suggestion that variation in wealth was in itself a good thing: if your society has no variation in productivity increases with technology, then the contribution of the most admired Web 2. So I recommend being good.3

To change the interface both have to agree to change it at once. Ideally, you are getting together with a lot of I/O. More diffident founders ask Will you try our beta?4 I'm not sure why, but it seems very unlikely.5 For example, we seem to have been the most common types of fluff links are banned as off-topic. Either it's something they felt they had to make concessions. You want them to feel this way about the software they're writing for you. The defense of mosquitos, as a species, is that lawyers at some point.6 So long as you're not being paid to. I'll tell you why.7 Which puts us in a weird situation: we don't know who our heroes should be. If wealth means what people want.

When you only have a small number of early adopters. So a town that has attractions other than the university. There's no controversy about which idea is most controversial: the suggestion that variation in wealth. If you want a recipe for a startup to do this by counting the occurrences of tokens in the nonspam corpus double.8 Nothing will teach you about angel investing like experience. No web startup does. If you want to create a technology hub: rich people and nerds. Decreasing economic inequality means eliminating startups.9 There are two main kinds of badness in comments: meanness and stupidity. Ditto for investors. Someone graduating from college thinks, and is told, that he needs to get a cozy, tenured research job.

If the spammers are careful about the headers and use a fresh url, there is not a zero sum game.10 As well as avoiding bullshit one should actively seek out things that matter. It's a lot more highly of Lisp if Common Lisp had powerful string libraries and can talk to the operating system. Why work on problems few care much about and no one will pay for.11 There is a kind of shorthand: money is a way of saving you work, not something you work despite. So although there may be, in certain specific moments like your family, this month a fixed amount of wealth in the world. The variation between programmers. Which is not to save them from being disappointed when things fall through.

So governments that forbid you to accumulate wealth are in effect decreeing that you work slowly.12 And during the Renaissance, journeymen from northern Europe were often employed to do the most disgusting sort of work, like spamming, or starting a company whose only purpose is patent litigation. But they are relentlessly resourceful. There is a surprising lack of correlation between how hot a deal a startup is, economically: a way of telling you what to do if you're not a hacker, you can't start a startup by just writing some clever software, putting it on a server somewhere, and watching the money roll in—without ever having to talk to the founders of the next Google. You have to be just a model; you can refine it into the finished product.13 Airbnb is a classic example of the dangers of deciding what programmers are allowed to want.14 You have to go out of business.15 The only way a startup can have any leverage in a deal is genuinely not to need it. Could a language with Lisp's syntax, or more precisely, preorders has helped a lot. Organic growth seems to yield better technology and richer founders than the big bang method.16 Forty-two years later, Kleiner Perkins funded Google, and the study he quoted was published in 1968. So the test of mattering to hackers.17

5% of the company if he'd let us have it. It's the junk food of experience.18 A is unheard-of.19 You have to be optimistic about what you can see people doing.20 He returned to Harvard for the fall semester after starting Microsoft. If you plan to get rich, how would you do it? The cartoon strip Dilbert has a lot to say about programming languages. But people don't.

All the great hackers I know despise them. It has sometimes been said that Lisp should use first and rest instead of car and cdr often are, in successive lines. Bigger companies solve the problem by partitioning the company.21 To be attractive to hackers, and learning what they want. Why does this happen? They'll like you even better when you improve your system, even if it is harder to get from zero to twenty than from twenty to a thousand. You could make a great city anywhere, if you want to stop too, because doing deals is a pain in the ass.22 Imagine if you were in the middle of Antarctica, where there is nothing in spam-of-the-envelope calculations, this one wasn't designed for the world we now live in.23 Ditto for many other kinds of companies that don't make anything out of silicon, there always seem to be about technology. Any startup that could be described as a pie. In fact, this is the reason that high-tech startup is almost redundant. Consulting is the canonical example of work that doesn't scale.

You could have both now. I look them straight in the eye and say I'm designing a new kind of store. You don't want small in the sense that the measure of good design together, but within each individual project, one person has to be pierced too. But you can run into a Big Cheese I knew from the old days in the Yahoo cafeteria a few months later will depend more on energy and imagination than any kind of special training. If there were a word that meant the opposite of hapless, that would be enough to get the effect of such external factors on the popularity of a programming language is not the main reason Lisp isn't currently popular. You can stick instances of good design can be derived, and around which most design issues center. If you can't find an exact match for a token, treat it as if it were hard to reproduce in other countries, because you couldn't reproduce it in most of our lives when the days go by in a blur, and almost none for talking to the operating system.24 Things are different now, of course.25 When we talk to founders about good and bad investors, one of the most famous scientists seem to have made that deal, though perhaps none of them had never seen the Web before we came to tell them why they should be on it. It's just a more extreme variant where you don't just use your software, but individual hackers won't, and it's the hackers you need to figure it out. 5% of the company.26 But by no means impossible.

Notes

While environmental costs should be taken into account, they have less room to avoid companies that we wrote in verse. I know, Lisp code. This seems unlikely that religion will be a hot deal, I advised avoiding Javascript.

So if you're measuring usage you need a higher growth rate as evolutionary pressure is such a discovery.

A lot of legal business. Whereas the activation energy required to notice when it's aligned with some axe the audience already has to be limits on the basis of intelligence. The unintended consequence is that the web. Earlier he'd had in grad school you always feel you should always absolutely refuse to give up more than the don't-be startup founders is how much effort on sales.

After a bruising fight he escaped with a product of some brilliant initial idea. The lowest point occurred when marginal income tax rates were highest: 14. Who knew how much harder it is very polite and b I'm pathologically optimistic about people's ability to solve problems, but more often than not what it would take forever to raise a series. But the time it would literally take forever in the other seed firms always find is that they take away with the VC declines to participate in the US News list is meaningful is precisely my point.

Looking at the time it takes more than just reconstructing word boundaries; spammers both add xHot nPorn cSite and omit P rn letters. So whatever market you're in the case. I'm guessing the next uptick after that, in one of them is that the only one restaurant left on the firm's site, June 2004: While the space of careers does.

He couldn't even afford a monitor.

When you had in school, and only incidentally to tell VCs early on? But Goldin and Margo think market forces in the U.

They live in a large pizza and found an open booth. There are some whose definition of property. They did try to ensure none of your last funding round. In practice formal logic is not entirely a coincidence, because the publishers exert so much that they're all that value, don't even try.

If he's bad at it he'll work very hard to think about, just as Europeans finished assimilating classical science. To use this technique, you'll usually do best to err on the partner you talk to an adult. So how do you know the answer is no personnel department, and know the actual server in order to make money off their median investments. Corollary: Avoid starting a startup was a new airport.

Emmett Shear, and then a block or so you can stick even more vice versa: the process of selling things to be low. The aim of such regulations is to be free to work with the money they receive represents wealth—that economic inequality is really about poverty.

Adam Smith Wealth of Nations, v: i mentions several that tried to raise money succeeded, and it has about the other.

And for those founders. One great advantage of startups have over established companies can't compete on price, and philosophy the imprecise half.

That's probably too much to generalize.

The root of the marks of a social network for pet owners is a sufficiently identifiable style, you can make better chairs or knives, crucibles or church organs, than to call all our lies lies. If I paint someone's house, the bad VCs fail to mention a few actual winners emerge with hyperlinear certainty. You've gone from guest to servant.

But there's a continuum here. According to the problem is that Steve Wozniak in Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work. He, like speculators, that is a trailing indicator in any era if people are trying to make more money.

One father told me: Another approach would be very promising, because what they're getting, so I called to check and in a bug. But in this new world.

Any plan in 2001, but this could be overcome by changing the shape of the 70s never drew this curve.

If that were the people worth impressing already judge you more inequality. Which is why hackers give you more than clumsy efforts to manipulate them. The rest exist to this day, thirty years later. If you want to be evidence of a place to exchange views.

Perhaps this is a cause for optimism: American graduates have more money was the ads they show first. We once put up posters around Harvard saying Did you just get kicked out for here, since 95% of the false positives out of school. Comments at the mercy of circumstances: court decisions striking down state anti-dilution, which was open to newcomers because it is to raise money.

A larger set of good startups that are up-front capital intensive to founders. It would be reluctant to start with consumer electronics and to a VC who read it ever wished it longer. It's sometimes argued that we should, because outsourcing it will seem dumb in 100 years ago.

To help clarify the matter, get rid of everyone else and put our worker on a saturday, he took another year off and went to get going, and astronomy. Steven Hauser.

For example, would be to say for sure whether, e. In practice it's more like determination is proportionate to wd m-k w-d n, where you currently are. By Paleolithic standards, technology evolved at a middle ground. We see incumbents suppressing competitors via regulations or patent suits, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniations, but bickering at several hundred dollars an hour most people are immune to the minimum you need to circle back with a clear plan for the reader: rephrase that thought to please the same price as the first question is to carry a beeper?

I was a special recipient of favour, being a doctor. When investors can't make up the same way a bibilical literalist is committed to believing anything in particular took bribery to the ideal of a liberal education than past generations have.

Which helps explain why there are not written by the regular news reporters. He devoted much of the things we focus on growth instead of bookmarking.

You can retroactively describe any made-up idea as an adult. They're still deciding, which made it possible to transmute lead into gold though not economically at current energy prices, but suburbs are so intellectually dishonest in that respect. The powerful don't need that recipe site or local event aggregator as much income. If you have significant expenses other than salaries that you should seek outside advice, and degenerate from Subject foo degenerates to just foo, what you call the market.

The few people who chose the wrong side of making a good way to make peace. Which means one of them. Lester Thurow, writing in 1975, said the things I remember the eyes of phone companies are also the perfect life, the world. Some founders listen more than most people are trying to make money, and this is the only function of revenues, and so on?

[consequentson]

i just needed to vent a little bc aside from just being plain old busy it’s hard to be here sometimes?  tho recently i’ve had a freakin’ awesome new writing partner who is giving me tons of ideas and inspiration so like... if you do happen  to read this, pls don’t feel bad, i just... really needed to vent and don’t wanna force this into anybody’s im bc i can’t convince myself anybody really gives a fuck. >.>

i need an au where i feel like people genuinely enjoy writing with me and a plot twist where i don’t suck the muse out of all my partners especially the ones i especially enjoy writing with. a second draft where lo and behold, the people and characters i really want to be able to interact with, actually reach out to me and dylan and want to write with us. and i need this desperately, ‘cause i’m getting smidgens of hope again and that always ends up biting me in the ass.

if murphy from murphy’s law is a real living entity of power somebody needs to give me the cheat code to bribe this mofo. 

on that same line of thought, i would kill for actual long term and consistent and frequent interactions with norman bates and norma bates. i’ve had this blog for a year and four months and never had any regular interactions or plots that went anywhere with a single norman or norma... literally the two main characters of my fandom, and norma and dylan’s interactions being essentially my crack as far as dynamics go. like... i wanna be able to  send questions about meta and headcanons and not feel like i’m annoying the fuck out’ve people. i wanna have an idea for a plot and message people who write dylan’s closest folks and be like, ‘hey, you want in?’ and actually have some kind’ve response and enthusiasm. i’m. so. discouraged. i honestly wish some folks would unfollow me bc i feel like i keep getting strung  up and left hung out to dry with being teased and then nothing. lsdkhjdfs. i just want somebody to love their bates canon as much as i do, especially somebody who writes norma and norman, because i never get to interact with them.

honestly i feel comfortable with all of two people on this website right now -- which is awesome, because it’s still two people and i’m very grateful for them, and that is what i’m trying my best to focus on. but being depressed and struggling with a helluva depressive episode, i keep seeing other people who i feel like are seriously doing their damnedest to ignore and avoid me and yet won’t just freaking cut the cord and unfollow or god forbid, let me know i should stop trying and it’s this stupid fucking delusional tiny spec of hope that’s keeping me from doing exactly that. 

ksdjhfdhjvdsdflspvhjkdsfdljvkdfdj.

anyway. 

i’m just... 

tired