#there is an edit tag but I'm scared
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Maskless Grizz edit I made months ago...I may make more....maybe
#beary the hatchet#bth#edit?#there is an edit tag but I'm scared#night posting oh yeah#she looks hideous...and dirty.../postive
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Sofie Plays KinitoPet: Comic Edition
KinitoPet wasn't a game I was really able to liveblog like Slay the Princess, but I made some goofy sketches of the experience! There's oodles of additional comics under the Read More!
(The camera app genuinely bugged out and wouldn't show anything at this part--- my tech incompetence seems to be bleeding out into how KinitoPet.EXE is able to run on my computer)
#EDIT: Thank you Tumblr for seemingly shadowbanning this specific post :) that's nice :) I'm not angry :)#ORIGINAL TAGS:#having my boyfriend in VC the whole time made the experience into more of a comedy than a horror-based one#I'm not sure if I ever got spooked by the intended scares--- I got freaked out by heights and glitches in the terrain textures#and also was extremely excited when I called a jumpscare / atmospheric turn for the terrifying coming up#kinitopet#kinitopet art#kinitopet fanart#kinito fanart#kinito the axolotl#kinito meme#kinitopet meme#horror games#indie horror game#stuff by sofie#obbyposting#sofie liveblogs stuff#(kinda)
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#dhmis#don't hug me i'm scared#animation#dhmis duck#dhmis red guy#my art#no loop just a jarring restart back at the start because i don't even have enough time to make this much less make the snow loOOP#thank u to my asker who gave me this to do instead of any one of the pile of things i have to do already:)#love it#sincere btw#i love them with my whole heart akfjaskldjflsdj#fluffybird#lol the redundant tag up there#welp too bad i cant edit tags without destroying all the others after it and no im not going to retype them all
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hello :) this was the first edit ive ever made so please be nice :'D
tiktok seemed to really like it, so
(song is 'never love an anchor' by the crane wives)
#i made this a few weeks ago but have been too scared to post it-#i have two other edits but i might post those here tomorrow maybe?#i will never shut up about them with this song btw#apologies if i'm being really annoying :')#ride the cyclone#rtc#rtc edit#perfectdolls#ocean o'connell rosenberg#jane doe rtc#bagel edits#:0 a new tag
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I would like to bring up how user @cracksh0t is the major reason I got here, drawing these damned cracknutters.
#Fortnite#Crackshot Fortnite#I am too scared to draw the in-game Crackshot design it's too shaded and detailed for my uncertified eyes.#Instead I just used fanart for reference. (by that I mean I used user @cracksh0t's art for reference.#Eeh why not#Lethal Company#Lethal Company Nutcracker#Lethal Company Employee#Generally#Nutcrackers#Nutcracker#Lethal Company Fanart#Fortnite Fanart#I don't know squat about Fortnite but any nutcracker media has me on chokehold#The last drawing is part of a bigger picture but I feel it would be injustice if I didn't post it alongside a huge rant about it.#I don't feel like writing paragraphs today</3#EDIT: tbf I didn't mean to tag but I guess I'm committing to this now.#I don't understand Tumblr this is the side effects</3
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Please still be here in 4 years.
Please.
#Edit: I don't want this to come off as me giving up or fear mongering#this is not a white flag cry#this is a gritted teeth declaration and call to my friends and acquaintances#it will get dark.#but it will eventually get better#millions and millions are fighting for us. stay strong#end edit#begin original tags:#im so fucking scared#on every level#i know we've made it through awful shit but#my anxiety is flaying me alive and fearing the worst#i have 0 faith in this country anymore#and i'm so scared for all my trans/lgbt friends#im just#please persist#please#please survive as an act of rebellion#i don't want to lose any of you#vent#negative
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RAYLLUM S5 MEME: quotes [1/4] 5x04, “the great bookery”
Rayla, we've been through a lot. And a lot has changed. Well, some things have changed. But... not everything.
#the fic counterpart (which will be late bc i'm backlogged on day 2) is ezran's and i wanted to get this done so#two birds with one stone#snake boi callum week#rayllum#rayllumedit#some things never change#arc 2#s5#s5 meme#my edits#graphics#for snake boi callum week day four#However Vile / I Would Do anything For You#tag ramble#in my mind 2x03 where he forgives/understands why she didn't tell him is like#the moment it's Over. she's family from that point onwards#callum doesn't equate callum's love for his brother with another person's love for him lightly#she's on the ezran tier. and then everything else is just full throttle#even 3x09 like he's scared. he's So Scared before and after he jumps#not just about himself but about her. together or not at all#and then in s4 after two years of hurting & a season of wrestling with it here she is breaking his heart again#and he's like u know what? if this is a part oof her? i have to let it in. i have to let it hurt#and he does!! and like. GOD. Unconditional indeed
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P5R | AKIRA KURUSU REN AMAMIYA JOKER +what's in the mirror, behind the mask, hiding in heart
quote credits under the cut:
1. Persona 5 Royal+vintage pin | 2. The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Anaïs Nin | 3. Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays, Christa Wolf (trans. Jan Van Heurck) | 4. Elektra, Sophocles (trans. Anne Carson) | 5. Broken Jaw, Foster the People | 6. Keeping Things Whole, Mark Strand | 7+8. April 30th in Persona 5 Royal | 9. Beneath the Mask, Lyn Inaizumi | 10. I Loved You Before I Was Born, Li-Young Lee | 11. In The Wings, Mother Mother | 12. Text post by DateAMonster and fae-bastard | 13. A LOVING LAMENT FROM A CHANGELING, KRShush (hi) | 14. Persona 5 Royal opening
#Persona#Persona 5#Akira Kurusu#Ren Amamiya#Kurusu Akira#Amamiya Ren#P5 Joker#P5#um. hi. do I need to put any more tags for visibility or can I start screaming now. I don't MAKE a lot of fandom content so I'm scared. hi#but also I can't stop thinking abt the fucking. ups and downs of being a silent protag/mirror for others/nothing underneath#except! make no mistake I'm not one of those folks who thinks he's blank I do believe Akiren HAS personality. I just mean.#I got BIG Feelings abt how performance and compartmentalization chips away until you FEEL like there's nothing underneath. y'know?#but also the mixed bag of that and delighting in performance/controlling perception/raising up your loved ones by being What They Need#and with all that said I LOVE MY SONNN.#He is SUCH a FUN crossing of all these little things alongside the Persona=masks thing alongside Arsène as HIS Persona and and and--#I LOVE MY TRICKSTER SON. I'M SHY. OKAY BYE 🏃#oh shit wait MY tags for my blog wait#K.R. edits#Son Boy ALLOWED#Persona blogging#long post
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Hi! Long time no yap but I've been really bothered by this thing and I know you're just the person I can go to with this (even if we don't always end up agreeing at times).
I got into a tiff with someone in a comments section of a post that was about Amy (Which character do you think deserved to become a villain? or something similar). They brought up Amy's abuse of her boyfriend. I may have tried to defend Amy (key word is tried. I am officially rubbish at debating) but then I may have said something? Because they said that I (and apparently a lot of other fans) was excusing Amy's abuse because of her trauma. It got me stumped because isn't young Amy's treatment of Rory rooted in her trauma? Did I miss the memo where we separate trauma and abuse? Am I missing something?
That statement bothered me a lot because if there's one thing I never want to do it's defend an abuser. So here I am, humbly asking and hoping to clear the muddy waters.
Your really confused and disturbed moot, Tia 💌
TIA!!!!! Thanks for the ask 💌 , and I send you all the hugs.
Discussion of abuse, trauma, ableism, infidelity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics beneath the cut.
(First off… while I really appreciate your faith in my explaining skills <3 <3 <3 my passion for traumatized characters and mentally ill+neurodivergent rights doesn't make me especially qualified to fully clear muddy waters especially not knowing the full context, but I feel you, and what follows is my informed perspective!)
Speaking generally first, harm done in media is best examined by the impact on the audience, with a different lens than harm done to real people. While relatable experiences in media can be useful and validating and incredibly important, you can’t be “defending an abuser” when the abuse is fictional. It's actually normal for traumatized/ND/mentally ill people to project onto mentally ill villains, when villains are the only significant representation for those stigmatized symptoms in a media landscape that excludes and demonizes us simply for existing. RTD can't stop people who hallucinate from reclaiming the Master's Drums and projecting onto the Master, for example — 90% of the best Doctor Who psychosis fic by psychotic authors is about the Master, whether RTD likes it or not. It's not true crime.
(This is speaking generally. Amy Pond is very much not the Master.)
Abuse is a behavior, and there can be many reasons for it, but reasons based in trauma don’t make it not abuse (some forms of generational trauma can propagate abusive parenting styles, when the parent thinks abusive parenting is normal, or lives entirely vicariously through their child). This absolutely should not be taken to mean trauma correlates with abusive behavior; rather that abusive behaviors from traumatized people are more likely to present in specific ways.
Abuse is also a targeted behavior, based in control — not consistently displayed C-PTSD symptoms as seen in Season 5 Amy Pond through many aspects of her life. Mental health symptoms don't become abuse just because they hinder one partner from meeting the other partner's needs. Any life event can do that.
Without knowing the context of the arguments, this is the aspect of their relationship I've seen you talk about before (which I also feel strongly about), and what I assume is what you were debating? So, here I will talk specifically in regard to Season 5.
We all know Amy — she's never attached to Leadworth because she never wanted to leave Scotland, no steady therapist because none of them stick up for her, can't stick with one job yet her first choice is a job that simulates intimacy because her avoidant behavior (a known trauma response) isn't sustainable to her wellbeing. Rory knows her fears of commitment stem from her repeated abandonments, it’s why he’ll always wait for her, and it's why he blames the Doctor “You make it so they don't want to let you down.”, who apart from having caused a lot of her trauma, has actively taken advantage of her being the “Scottish girl in the English village” who's “still got that accent,” because he wants to feel important, so yeah, I think interpreting Amy's issues (and how Amy and Rory transverse them) as Amy abusing Rory indicates a fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship, as well as a misunderstanding of the (raggedy) Doctor’s role in Amy’s formative self-image (which of course she works through in Season 6, but I am sticking to Season 5).
Abuse is always based in control. That just doesn’t fit here. While Amy's detachment from her real life includes things like calling Rory her “kind of boyfriend” (which she is upfront about to his face; differing commitment levels isn't abuse, though it can be a relationship red flag for both parties IRL) — her Season 5 disregard of Rory’s feelings occurs only in response to the fairytale embodiment of her trauma. It's never a response to Rory; it's a response to the Doctor, who stole her childhood and led her by the hand to her death. She cheats on Rory with the Doctor in her bedroom full of Doctor toys, drawings, models, she made from childhood to early adulthood.
(And yes, like many repeatedly-traumatized people, Amy is prone to being sensitive and reactive. Take her “Well, shut up then!” line in The Big Bang; but given Rory responds to this by hugging her, clearly he doesn’t take it as her actually dismissing him. He knows her better than that.)
And by no means do I meant to imply this is fair to young Rory, poor Rory, who's left struggling with the feeling that his role in her life is in competition with the role of her trauma (aka the Doctor). But not every unhealthy relationship dynamic is unhealthy because of abuse. Labelling Amy's treatment of Rory in Season 5 more accurately isn't the same as excusing her harmful choices — but making mistakes is part of being human, Amy's mistakes are certainly understandable, and she works through them out of love for Rory.
If there's one thing to say about Moffat women, it's that Moffat allows his female characters the same grace that the male characters *coughTENcough* have always had, to hurt and struggle and make realistic mistakes and overcome those mistakes and to heal without being demonized.
Amy isn't perfect, but she is a fully realized character, and her story gives us a resonant depiction of childhood trauma.
#abuse#rtd critical#anti rtd#im NOT really anti rtd but im tagging it that because some people block that tag and uhhhh this post strays into rtd critique#maybe he does regret how he wrote the master! we'll never know because rtd is very anti-admitting-his-own-mistakes#words by seaweed#anyways tia i am. SO relieved you’re not upset with me about our last disagreement?#i high key jumped to conclusions after the lack of reply to the last DM? so thank you for this ask it's great to hear from you#sorry you were in a debate about this! that sounds extremely awful.#anyway i'm gonna WAIT at least a week to tag Amy and Rory to avoid this showing up in the character tags right away haha#because I am KINDA scared the anti-media-literacy ppl will find this (I had to include the first part tho its important)#(lack of distinction between harm to audience *in fiction* and irl harm *to actual ppl* leads to problematic public apologies where-#-public figures apologize to fans they let down *instead* of the people they actually hurt. no it doesn't work like that)#(parasocial relationships are not more important than real victims agency or privacy)#and I am planning to make a post at some point about the nd aspects of Amy+the Doctor's connection which this stuff IS relevant to soooooo#am I going hard on specifying Season 5 Amy to under the assumption that the uncharacteristic Rory-slapping isnt whats bein talked abt?#maybe. its not in character.#editing to say..... yanno what? ive come to terms with not all the posts with the following tag been about the doctor#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#editing again to add character tags:#Amy pond#Rory williams
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AND JUST AS I GO TO CHECK IF I HAVE ANYTHING GOOD SCHEDULED FOR TUESDAY, I-
WHAT??????
TODAY IS ONE FUCKIN' DROPKICK AFTER ANOTHER HELLO SINCE WHEN FOR WHAT
#I????? HELP ME#I MEAN. JUST LOOKING AT THE MOST USED TAGS I HAVE I CAN GUESS *WHY* - I HAPPENED TO RIDE SOME HIGHS HERE AND THERE BUT#AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE THE KIND WORDS IN THE NOTES AND GENERAL APPRECIATION TOWARDS MY ART I'M HUH???????#i'm a cocky bastard i'll be frank i Was hoping to gain an audience of like a hundred people i like attention but. HHHH??#is this a sign. is it time for That again. should i edit the pinned post. god help me i'm so scared but very grateful
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Ohhhh so you gave that non-human non-animal character animal features like claws and paw pads and sharp teeth and tails and ears. Okay. I know what you are
#i need not explain myself you know who you are.#actually just to show I'm tagging all the examples off the top of my head#daycare attendant#wally darling#tbh creature#trolls#batim#cuphead#invader zim#sans undertale#minecraft mobs#AND YALL BETTER NOT THINK I'M JOKING IM BEING SO. FOR REAL!!!!!!#I'VE SEEN IT ALL... EVERY CORNER OF THE INTERNET#not throwing shade tho bc im guilty of this sometimes 🧍🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️#---- edit.....#this draft has to be like two years old. why didn't i post the creaturification post. was i scared#anyway. yeah#words
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some Coricojerrie headcanons
⪼﹕As far as goals, these two are very different, Mungojerrie has no set goal, he wants whatever gratifies him in the moment, stealing from the next house, emulating Tugger, etc. Coricopat doesn’t understand this, probably because he has so many goals he wants to work towards, most of them summing up to wanting to support the Jellicle community as a whole in a meaningful way.
Despite their differences, Coricopat occasionally tries to gently nudge Mungojerrie towards considering more lasting accomplishments.He tells him that the short-lived happiness of his little escapades will fade, and that investing in something more substantial could bring greater fulfillment in the long run.
Mungojerrie does listen to this advice with a mixture of sarcasm and amusement; he finds amusement in Coricopat's sincerity, and teases Cori about being overly concerned about him, and tries to highlight the desire he has to live in the present. Even if Mungojerrie isn't ready to fully embrace the idea of long-term goals himself, he does, in the back of his mind, appreciate Coricopat's comments and acknowledge the genuine worry.
⪼﹕Coricopat does tend to sleep with his eyes open, which isn’t completely unusual for cats; no, he sleeps with them wide open on occasion. As if he were just staring off into the distance.
Coricopat's unique sleeping habit is a direct consequence of his psychic abilities, which grant him heightened awareness even during sleep. In this state, Coricopat experiences vivid visions, with the clarity and duration of these visions influenced by his proximity to his twin sister, Tantomile. When Coricopat and Tantomile are together, their visions are clearer and longer, often shared between them in synchrony. However, when apart, Coricopat's visions become shorter and less distinct. Despite this, he attempts to interpret these visions independently before discussing them with Tantomile. Surprisingly, depending on when they fall asleep, Tantomile and Coricopat frequently see the same visions at differing times.
Back to Mungojerrie, though; he’s observant; he needs to be in order to steal so well, so it didn’t take him too long to decipher whether Coricopat was staring off or "resting.” One particular sign that Coricopat was mellowing out was that his tail would swish around from left to right every minute or so; if he was resting, however, his tail wouldn’t move at all. When he’d catch him in the act, he’d normally wait by Coricopat to see if he would tell him what he saw.
Any other cat wouldn’t tell Mungojerrie anything; he was known to cause trouble, after all, but Coricopat didn’t mind. In fact, he found it helpful to discuss what he saw as it helped him interpret it better, and Mungojerrie did provide insights Coricopat may not have always thought of as an explanation, regardless of if they were wrong or right.
⪼﹕Coricopat is the more social of the psychic twins, so Mungojerrie always took the liberties of bothering him over Tantomile. He became quite fixated on the idea of outsmarting Coricopat in particular; he’d insist that Coricopat didn’t have any powers at all and would pose absurd questions to him in an effort to "prove" his argument. Even when Coricopat effortlessly answered these questions, Mungojerrie would dismiss it as luck or coincidence, promptly posing another question—often unrelated and equally absurd—just to keep the banter going. Like what he had for supper two moons ago, or how he’s going to feel about the weather tomorrow.
Despite Mungojerrie's persistent teasing, Coricopat remained patient and good-natured, his understanding demeanor shining through. Unwilling to admit defeat, Coricopat would sometimes respond with vague answers when unsure of how to answer Mungo’s questions, enjoying the faux rivalry he shared with Mungojerrie. However, when he was confident in his knowledge, Coricopat made sure to assert his correctness, taking pleasure in proving Mungojerrie wrong. He enjoyed the humorous challenge of their relationship and didn't mind repeating himself to his foolish mate in order to get his point across.
#trying a different style for these why not#this is mostly from a pre-realationship perspective mostly going over some of the dynamics between them#Mungopat#Coricojerrie#idk if I'll put it on main tags hmm#This was more difficult for me because I tend to avoid talking about characters I'm not completely confident in my portrayal of#especially when they're beloved characters (the fandom scares me like that)#but hey#it's better to try and fail than not attempt at all.#and I wanted to make a post about them for a while#Also also I go on little tangents a lot sorry#CH#I'm posting this now so I stop editing it
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Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.
This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.
[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]
For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.
Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.
Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]
Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!
Sam's Part
I was a ten-year train wreck
Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.
In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."
I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.
It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.
With a last-call longneck
Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.
I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad
This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.
I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)
Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back
This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.
If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.
Not your fault, I was scared to fall
This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.
Darlin's Part
You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back
We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.
"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"
Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."
Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"
"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.
"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.
"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.
Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."
They scoff. "I am being serious."
Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."
"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."
He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."
He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"
Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"
He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."
They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."
In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
They think about dead stars.
They think about time.
"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"
They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.
They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.
"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."
.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.
Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers
'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)
[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]
Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined
Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.
The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.
Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to
These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.
I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.
"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."
Equally Applicable Lines
And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break
Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.
(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.
But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)
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[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]
#redacted audio#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted playlists#redacted asmr#redactedverse#music stuff#Spotify#Seven's Blorbo Songs#<- starting a dedicated tag for these kinda posts bc i feel like there will be. Many more#gotta go dig up the few i've made in the past and retroactively tag them. they weren't as Involved as this one but i'll still include 'em#good fucking god this post got long. i started it at like 2pm and now it's almost 8. i've been locked in on blorbo analysis for 6 hours#don't ask why it took That long to make this post okay i am. very slow. but i had a good time so it's all good#there's like 10 other things i needed to spend my free time on today but this post Demanded to be made asap so here we are#i've been stewing on this song for several days since i found it and i literally had to make this post to get it out of my system#i was gonna make One Big Post to discuss the entire playlist at once but it's got 80+ songs on it by now...#and i like to Yap if u cannot tell so it literally wouldn't even all Fit in a single post. so i'll probably just do individual songs#or maybe a few per post if they all fit a certain theme and aren't enough to justify their own post#anyways i. am so very very very in love with Sam. if you. cannot tell. from the entirety of this post. and the state of my blog#about halfway thru this post i realized i perhaps should've just written a songfic but those take so much more effort and time#and i'm already editing two that'll come out later this month. with two more in the wings. so i can't afford to start another#(not Redacted fics btw sorry but in spite of the little drabble i did on this post i'm actually scared to write for this fandom)#i don't feel confident enough not to mischaracterize them. plus i'm already juggling more than i can handle anyways#anyways the drabble + this post in general probably isn't very good lmao i Should like. draft it and edit it tomorrow with fresh eyes#but i wanna go ahead and send it out into the world and just let it be. it's not that big of a deal
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Uhm i don't really know what's going on but all the transfem selfship positivity posts lately gave me the courage to make a blog and stop lurking–
Hiii!!! :3 My name is Magnolia and I'm a selfshipper!! I've been lurking for a few months but i'm still pretty new to the community!! My only f/o is Lev.iat.han from o.bey m.e (censored to keep this out of search results) and I've been dating him since before I even knew selfshipping was a thing! He is everything to me I cannot shut up about him ♡
I really really wanna make friends here so if you wanna be mutuals just tell me and I'll follow you!
Okie that's all I gotta say for now, see you around!!! Your f/o(s) love you btw!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
#aaaaa i'm so nervous to post this my thumb is literally shaking over the post button what is wrong with meeeeeee#the selfship community seems pretty supportive and friendly most of the time but i'm still scared idk whyyyyyy#I will make a promo soon maybe#edit: okay nvm that last tag this post is the promo now
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One of my favorite hobbies to engage in is ignoring the canon course of video game romances
#yes my warden in an open relationship will have a foursome at the pearl#and yes I will continue to have Morrigan sleep with Orest after the “I love you and I hate it” conversation#I am digging into her brain so deep rn#morri seeing sex as the main manipulation tool she has and being so scared to have orest be just In Love With Her#she says no to his invitation of sex once and he just goes oh okay I'm sorry#I still love you that's okay#and it scares the bejesus out of her#time to keep fucking him so I can pretend that he just wants me for my body#time to let him fuck other people so it'll be easier for him to leave me in the end#I can't have him so dependent on me for his happiness or else it will destroy him (the man I love) in the end#I have to let him leave my side slowly or else he'll die if I separate myself from him I saw what happened with his ex-lover (tamlen)#let him be happy with zevran or leliana or anyone#fool woman he will never let you leave and never stop loving you#I love morrigan and her fucked up relationship with intimacy so much#orest is also especially easy to think you're manipulating because he acts so stupid (and it's only partially an act)#he loves so openly and so intensely and yet he's also clearly very easily drawn in with the appeal of a Nice Ass#I could talk about them forever#I'm editing an old fic to better fit with their dynamic and the canon of the romance#and the orest x morri content I've written since I first wrote this fic#and this doesn't just apply to orest and morrigan#I ignore that tamlen and gorim are female warden LIs only#I ignore that Blackwall is “straight” (blackwall may be but thom isn't that's for sure)#I do whatever the fuck I want with da2#anyway time to stop rambling in the tags and actually get back to writing#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age ii#dragon age inquisition#original content#and mainly
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Sorry for disappearing, it will happen again
(but not before I post my latest fic)
#long time no see tumblr!!!#it's been a (loooooooong) while and i won't go into details - plz don't ask - it just sucked hard but it's well on the way to better now#turns out i really suck at social media and community in general#i say anxiety and neurospicy - my psychiatrist basically says 'do it scared but do it'#sooo still wondering how to run this blog#miss you tumblr miss you fandom miss you mutuals i haven't talked with sinceforever - u aren't that many but u know who u are#uhhhhh might reblog fanart soon-ish#right now i'll go answer the comments I received on AO3 while I was afk (yayyyy thank you readers i love you)#might post that fic too when i'm done editing and I'll see how that goes (Shanks x Buggy nation I'm back! But this time with polycules!!)#OP-wise I'm up-to-date with the manga but well behind the anime - plz don't talk to me about the fan letter I'm not here yet#nae's ramblings#<- i forgot my own tags I had to check my pinned post T_T
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