#there is an almost impressive lack of communication

[muzzlemouths]

my doctor never got back to me about the one-day prescription of a sedative so uhhh guess who has two thumbs is claustrophobic and will be raw dogging their MRI tomorrow? yippeeeee................

[velvetures]

Honorifics

A/N: Yeah... I don't know about this. I'll probably take it down since I'm unsure if it's got enough of a consistent vibe. Let me know if it's actually something you enjoy since I don't write angst or hurt/comfort often. I ALWAYS WRITE HAPPY ENDINGS THO. That's a damn promise. Summary: You've given Ghost a title he hates, and takes it out on you. The situation goes too far, and you're both left trying to figure it out. Reader is nicknamed "Brass" since she's a long-distance shooter/sniper. T/W: angst, cursing, Ghost being an emotionally unstable human, yelling, the reader having a breakdown, smidge of not eating, smidge of not drinking anything, comfort, feelings, female reader, not proofread.

When you joined the task force, things didn’t exactly go as smoothly as you had hoped it would. Training sessions usually ended up with you either getting your ass beat or nearly surviving a full-on embarrassment by the skin of your teeth just to be told that you still weren’t in good enough shape to keep up with them in the field. Surely being a woman didn’t excuse you from being in shape for the kind of work Laswell and Price had brought you in for, but damn if it wasn’t difficult to try and have a one-on-one fight with someone like Soap or Ghost without the benefit you would typically have in a real-world battle situation. The reality that all of the men in the squad were literally the best of the best aside, there could be just barely enough room for you to compete on the same level when it came to sheer physical strength. While that wasn’t your specialty anyway, the Captain made it clear you needed to prove you could handle your own against serious physical fights without assistance. After nearly five weeks of having one of your squad mates slam you on your ass one too many times in the training hall, you finally were able to prove to Price that you could go out in the field and he didn’t have to extend any extra worries for your ability to survive.

Logistically as a sniper, it meant you frequently held a much more distant role in missions. By watching from a scope you could ensure that infiltrations, covert ops, and other hush-hush kinds of operations that typically the 141 wouldn’t have the luxury of. Being the skilled marksman you were, it made sense to take advantage of your talents and also extend you a job that progressed past what you’d experienced in your “standard” military career and multiple tours overseas. However, that meant communications were essentially the backbone of your usefulness aside from your rifle. Next to nothing else, your daily and mission-based work almost exclusively went through Lieutenant Ghost. Which… often proved to be the largest obstacle that you faced aside from making sure that your scope didn’t get bumped off sight the -often- rough flights and drives to insertion points.

The Lieutenant was particularly mean… he certainly didn’t give a single thought to if anyone thought that he was a little too harsh of a personality to swallow. That went for everything you came to learn about Ghost. From his lack of willingness to speak unless required of him, to his unique ability of appearing and disappearing from anywhere without the slightest sound or hint of where he’d come from or gone to. Trained as a distance marksman, even you were impressed that such a massive man could move around like smoke on water. That and his physical appearance; good god above. Surely a man like Ghost had never graced the face of the Earth before, else he’d have been just as mythical in his legendary life and would’ve been known by thousands of people. He stood towering over just about everyone, in whatever room he was in, and compared to your own height it was downright laughable the difference between the two of you as operators.

The one thing that made the biggest impression on you after meeting the Lieutenant was his voice and how he spoke. That thick accent always sounded rough and a little gritty. His deep timbre gave such a commanding authority that if given the choice between getting yelled at by Captain Price or Ghost… there was no choice you’d sit for hours listening to Price threaten you over Ghost. He just sounded so scary and attractive all at the same time. Unsurprisingly, it developed into a subconscious dynamic where you saw Ghost as such a superior officer -and human- that no matter how much you liked to daydream about Ghost in less-than-professional situations… You gave him the utmost respect at all times. Easiest of all to recognize was that from day one, you had never addressed Ghost to his face as anything other than ‘sir’. Not even his rank gave enough nuance to his character and presence, so for you, Ghost was inextricably attached to the name.

Ghost however… didn’t like it.

Such a simple address actually made Ghost grit his teeth beneath the shield of his mask. When he heard you call him that, he automatically related it to how he had called General Shepherd ‘sir’ as a subtle sign of mockery and defiance. Thinking about that made him more than necessarily angry and confused, but he couldn’t really accuse you of having ever been given much of a reason to detest him. Therefore, he had to come to the conclusion that you were doing it out of some kind of respect that a drill sergeant or boot camp instructor had bashed into your brain so hard that it stuck permanently. Not surprising since you were much different from the rest of the task force. Yet he had to revise that after the first six months of you being with them permanently. You had gotten settled in. Enough so that you called the Captain, ‘Cap’… Soap, ‘Johnny’… and Garrick, ‘Gaz’ like everyone else did. Exceptionalities only appeared when it came time for you to be around him or have any sort of interaction that wasn’t the occasional silent nod of acknowledgment when walking past each other in the hallways.

He honestly tried to ignore it and you altogether for that matter in an attempt to keep his bitter anger at a minimum. Seeing such a small and fucking happy woman always lingering around somewhere in the corners of his sight couldn’t be anything but a distraction waiting to happen. A bad habit that he didn’t have the mental capacity or emotional willingness to take on. Fuck… he already had to worry about the 141 as a whole, to begin with. Now you on top of that? It was more responsibility than he’d signed up for initially. Hearing you call him ‘sir’ day in and day out began to take its toll on his self-control. Ghost needed to either find out why you were hellbent on calling him that, or at least be enough of a bastard to you to be reassured that you did it because you wanted a polite way to tell him to shove it up his ass sideways.

The Lieutenant had been being nothing short of a prick in the last few months.

He was making paperwork back at HQ a nightmare that couldn’t be solved alternatively through someone like Gaz or Soap who often didn’t mind playing the part of the unbiased third party. Refusing to sign things when you stopped by his office, outright ignoring your necessary questions, and stonewalling you at every single stop along the way just to yield at the last moment and do everything you’d been asking for so the both of you wouldn’t face heat from any higher-ups. That alone was enough for you to consider talking to Soap privately since he knew Ghost the best… but you’d kept putting it off hoping that it was just a passing phase of shitty attitude.

Your patience and emotional strength fell through the floor after attempting for the third time in a week after something so fucking simple as trying to get his approval and official signature on a post-mission report Price had delegated to you after being called to Washington D.C. for a meeting. It wasn’t a major task, but knowing that the Captain had given you the responsibility first over anyone else made you want to impress him and take care of business without incident. God forbid you do something as simple as ask Ghost to pick up a pen and scribble his name at the bottom of a page so that you could send it on through the higher-up channels. It resulted in the Lieutenant straight-up yelling at you in the middle of the hallway outside his office when he’d found you standing there patiently waiting for him to show up. He wasn’t threatening physically, but it cut much deeper into your pride and feelings than it should have.

With every word that dripped venomously out of his masked mouth, you lost a little extra peace of mind on having such an untouchable and unshakably good opinion of Ghost for so long. This moment of undeserved verbal punishment was enough to make the corners of your eyes burn with inner disgrace, self-doubt, and plain old sadness which motivated you to get the hell out of there before the Lieutenant saw you cry. When you turned your back and walked away right in the middle of his berating for you being “too fucking annoying to tolerate”, your only destination was your personal quarters on the other end of the building where a lock on the door could shut out the entire base for as long as you saw fit. Upon the first estimation, it would be after Captain Price returned so that you could have at least one single chance at not getting a second punishment or dismissal from the squad. The sound of your door slamming shut and your back sliding down against it on your way down to the floor silenced the entire room around you, leaving just enough room for the papers clenched to your chest to flutter onto the ground and your weak cries to sounds amplified.

It was hours before you could drag yourself off the floor and into bed, too tired and wanting to fall back on the trained and instinctual desire to hide away somewhere isolated and not move for hours on end. Being a long-distance marksman gave you the talent of patience insurmountable to the average person, allowing days to pass by without you needing to do more than go to the bathroom before coming right back to a motionless position. That’s what you wanted tonight. You needed to focus all of your energy into your brain alone and use it to sort through the hurt burning through your eyes and throat, and the questioning that gave such a sickening feeling a chance root in your stomach. Questions of if it had been foolish to trust Ghost as much as you did the others, knowing how you’d been warned that he would be difficult to work with. Hoping you hadn’t been truly so ignorant of judging behavior to think that the Lieutenant was something much greater than his behavior had been not only today but for the past months.

The next two days were spent laying near motionless… not hungry or thirsty.

Just thinking, sleeping, and staring at the wall across from your bed.

A solid knock on your door was the first human sound that hadn’t been made by you in over forty-eight hours. You’d not looked at your phone or any communications since locking yourself inside, and there was a good chance someone from the squad had come searching for you after such a long period without seeing or hearing from you. When you refused to answer right away, another harder knock banged on the door twice and rattled the steel in its doorframe. Impatient. Testy. Quite familiar with everything you’ve been through lately. Recognizing the Lieutenant was the one outside made your gut churn all over again. Questioning whether to get up or not wasn’t hard. Laying perfectly still in bed, you waited. If you were being honest though, it’d been a long time since you’d spent so long restricting yourself from basic needs for the purpose of acting like a living phantom. Close to three years since any sniper position had left you utterly abandoned without resources. Only this time it was self-induced and nothing short of a trauma response you wanted to hide away from. Truthfully you couldn’t tell if walking to the door was an easy feat or not. After not drinking anything, using the bathroom wasn’t necessary and the last time you’d stood up didn’t cross your memory clearly.

Ghost slammed his fist against the door again one last time. But he didn’t wait long enough for you to answer before rattling the handle to the door with a heavy sigh that was audible through the cracks separating you. Metal on metal gritted softly and moved the door handle a bit further. Recognizing that as nothing short of Ghost picking the lock to your quarters without the slightest care of how he’d be breaking multiple stipulations laid out for them living in HQ. Either your physical or mental state kept you from giving a damn when the handle gave way fully, leaving a bright fluorescence light flooding in from the hallway into your pitch-black room. It made your eyes water and the urge to turn your head away was strong enough to budge your head into the blankets and pillow surrounding. Heavy boots made the paperwork scattered on the floor crunch softly and the sound of his deep breaths gave away his current state of frustration. Clearly not appreciating being locked out of a room that he had no fucking business being in. A long pause led to shuffling around, and the sound of your desk chair creaking under his weight.

“Gonna say somethin’?” He sounded no less irritated than the last time you’d spoken.

It made your throat burn to even think you’d allowed his to get in your head so deeply just to utterly rip every last bit of security and respect away from you for no damn reason. Your silence made quite the statement, even if the actual task of speaking hadn’t been a totally voluntary one. You’d not moved your jaw in days at this point.

“You’ve missed five drill sessions, two mandatory meetings, and one phone from General Shepherd.”

Listing off your offenses hardly bothered you. The consequences of this had been fully accepted days ago, and Ghost would have to do a lot more to get you up from this bed. You’d trained for hell, and no matter how badly Ghost had ruined your almost loving and patient view of him there weren’t enough men on the planet to make you get up voluntarily. Drastic… yes. Satisfying to your own pride… undoubtedly. When you didn’t even let out a single breath loud enough for Ghost to hear instead of that instant apology or willingness to appease him… please him even, with that little quip of ‘sir’ ready on your tongue, the Lieutenant was up out of that chair so quickly you heard it roll into the wall behind him hard enough to thud against the drywall.

“Goddamn it Brass, I demand a fuckin’ answer!” His loud bark caught your attention, but the feeling of your blankets being ripped off your body was a far more startling sensation.

Baring you to the cold air of the room, all your body managed was to raise chills on your skin in a feeble attempt to keep you warm or alert you to seek out that heat again. Tension exploded into shocked silence when Ghost didn’t utter more than a sharp inhale after getting one, shadowed glimpse of your body totally frozen on your stomach. You knew it couldn’t look great. Snipers could come back looking like skeletons sometimes after a long mission if they were given the orders to stay put. You’d not been laying nearly long enough for that to be the case, but dehydration was certainly a symptom you were ignoring quite easily, as well as the possibility of some minor pressure ulcers that would linger for a few weeks if you didn’t move soon. Ghost wasn’t as familiar with the sight of how you felt internally. Snipers weren’t commonly used or in collaboration with Task Force 141. You’d been their first real look at how the inner workings moved or didn’t, and much of your personal way of doing things had dispelled or blown away any misguided assumptions they’d made about your skills early on. Viewing a sniper after days of doing literally nothing, of her own free will…? That wasn’t healthy or accepted in general military companies. Lucky Ghost got the front-row seat though.

When you heard his movement next to you, weight pressed down the mattress at your side in the shape of his hands, and a low sigh registered.

“Brass…” Failing to even say something, you wondered if your own assessment of yourself wasn’t accurate. “It’s been five days.” His faltered tone was truthful, and it destroyed your semblance of time that had been misled by the absence of sunlight coming in through your room.

You thought about trying to say something, resolve falling flat when swallowing felt difficult. A gloved hand rested against your thigh and Ghost almost growled again, sounding a lot more like he was resisting the urge to squeeze you hard. Only his fingers traced along your hip and over the curve in your waist with a tense and heavy swallow. He was being gentle beyond your concept of his depth of emotion and understanding. Nearly loving as he paused over your ribcage with another pinched sort of sound. Staying like that for what felt like hours, you struggled to keep yourself awake. It had been a struggle to move your tongue in your mouth, testing what mobility you’d lost in the short term. Only Ghost wasn’t leaving like you expected, and suddenly his voice returned it its normal stature.

“This’s Ghost. Get a bay ready now, I’m bringin’ someone in.” The reverb of his voice crackled in a radio you knew hooked to his vest. A backup short-range alternative in the case that SAT couldn’t be established or wasn’t clear enough to rely on in the field. Apparently, he used it to keep in contact with someone on base. Or multiple people for all you knew.

“Copy Ghost.” A static voice could be heard and quickly the room was pitched back into a silence you wanted to remain in, but Ghost was adamant to keep infracting alone with a whole list of other rules that, for whatever reason, just didn’t fucking matter or apply to him.

His other hand searched around the dark until he found your face resting amongst the fabric of your bed, curling his hand around your head and meticulously lifting you so very slowly away from the bed with his other arm steadying your legs that had also been taken up off the mattress. You’d never touched Ghost once in all the time you’d known him. Understanding that with his sour attitude, there couldn’t be a single chance in Hell that touching him was an acceptable action. Whereas with Soap, Gaz, and even on occasion Price: hugs, handshakes, shoves, and other physical touches were common, Ghost totally ignored all human contact. Maybe Hell had frozen over outside of your quarters for your weak and still motionless body to be lifted up against the Lieutenant’s chest and carried preciously outside of your room into the burning light of HQ. His chest heaved deep and quickly against you. Both hands curled around you and flexed tighter each time you were able to hear another set of shoes approaching closer to you. Possessive like a soldier. Silent like a Ghost. Determined.

He takes you straight to the medical hall where three nurses and two of the on-shift doctors are fast to respond to your condition. Only Ghost refuses to let them take you away from him for any reason. Stoically stonewalling them just like he habitually did to you as they begged him to lay you down on a transport bed so they could take you back to a room for assessment. The Lieutenant took you there himself, with the group of nurses and doctors hot on his heels and surrounding your bed once Ghost had you settled down inside a private room.

The whole place smells sterile and like alcohol. It’s not the first time you’ve been here, but these are far different circumstances. You’re still too sensitive to open your eyes, but hands are all over your body, gloves fingers touching around the sore places on weight-bearing points on your body, pricks in your fingertips, and a needle poke to the back of your hand. It’s overstimulating, to say the least, and you’re worried they’re going to think you’ve tried to starve yourself to death or decided that living altogether wasn’t worth it and simply wasting away into your bed was the solution. Right away, one of the voices of the medical professionals breaks that worry in your mind by calling for some of the tests to be staggered, needing time between them for nothing other than your own benefit.

“Treat this no differently than prolonged active reconnaissance,” The female voice states softly. “Being on-the-gun for this long is detrimental to all senses, and she’s going to need a while to wake up in a meaningful way.” She added, voice coming clearer the closer she got to your head.

“You’ve been working very hard, I suspect. Maybe not in the field… but you’re one tough lady.” She commented to you quite personally, her hand falling to your shoulders. “We’re going to get you plenty of fluids and start you on a vitamin drip to get everything running as it should again. You’ve also got some slight bedsores, but as long as we take care of them now, you’ll be right as rain soon, sniper.”

Tests were run, treatments began, and nurse after nurse was brought in with both doctors running rotations in and out of your room for the rest of the night. All of them were under the hard watch of Ghost who’d not moved from his position sitting in the corner of your room where he could see not only you but anyone approaching the door. He’d been very quiet throughout the process, watching and waiting for someone to give him some news about your condition with actual certainty. Stewing over the guilt he felt knowing damn well he was the reason you’d shut down so far and were still unable -or unwilling- to come out of it yet. You’d been nothing but the perfect little woman, doing her job with skill and grace, making everyone around you happier just with one glance in your direction. But fuck, he couldn’t stand seeing someone do the callous profession of killing people with one single squeeze of her finger and still have so much innocent and emotional humanity inside such a small body. Ghost couldn’t wrap his mind around it. So instead of trying to do the right thing and figure it out, he did what a man so out of touch with empathy did: Try to snuff it out.

You threatened him whether you or he realized it in the beginning.

But now he could see it with that crystal fucking clear hindsight. How monstrous he was for punishing you with no foundation other than his own selfish fear of seeing a dynamic he didn’t know was possibly wrapped up inside of you. Sweet and little you, never saying anything to him other than a ‘yes sir’ or ‘no sir’. Goddamnit Ghost knew he’d nearly killed you in a way. Seeing days of neglect in your sallow expression, darkened under eyes, and weakened body was more than even his cold heart could take all at one time. Wasting away for someone as useless as himself, all because he’d never given you enough credit for finding something worth liking in him where no one else had. Screaming at you. Cursing your existence. Right in your face, while he’d been too big of a pussy to even take off his own mask he hid behind every day as he utterly destroyed your meaningful position and life working alongside of his and his squad. Owing you his life wouldn’t nearly cover his offenses. Laughably, Ghost admitted his own life or death couldn’t measure up to yours. So instead of saying any kind of bullshit apology, he sat in the corner of your room and denied himself sleep, food, and water because there wasn’t anything else he could do until you’d been considered healthy and strong again.

Almost one week to the day you had been signed off for return to duty with zero restrictions. Your physical and mental evaluations came back clean, and with both Price and Ghost signing off on the doctor’s orders, you returned to your quarters where you expected to see your room exactly as you’d left it before Ghost brought you into the medical wing. Only nothing was as you’d left it. All the paperwork left on the floor was gone, as well as the other documents that had been left on your desk that still needed finishing. All of it was gone. Your bed and all of the bedclothes you’d been taken from were also missing. Replaced with totally brand new bedding in dark hues of dark green and navy blue with a decidedly feminine pattern on the quilt. Items you didn’t own. Or have any idea where they came from. Even the smell of stale air was traded for a woody, and familiar smell that wasn’t of a candle, or room spray; It was from a person. The person who sat in the corner of your room in your desk chair with his massive arms crossed over his chest and dark eyes staring at you through the painted visage of a skull gracing a black compression mask.

“Sir,” You greet hoarsely, still working through some of the non-significant parts of your recovery that lingered. Ghost stood from his seat and met you halfway across your room with a silent nod, his hand reaching out and motioning for you to step closer to him. Warily but complicit, you make the few steps forward and watch his hand turn to slide against your jaw and stay there firmly. “I expected you to be at drill.” You say with a tinge of surprise at the touch of his bare hand resting against your cheek.

“Should be,” He replied flatly. “But I’m not.” You nod a little, biting your tongue when his fingertip rubs over the curve of your ear. His eyes were soft and his unarmored physique was highlighted by the shadows made by the lamp on your side table. He’s inspecting you, you know as much. Clear by his thumb pressing over your pulse point and the minute exactly that he waits before speaking again.

“Do you like the color green?” His question knocks you off guard and his eyes slide over the quilt laying neatly over your bed. You were quick to answer honestly out of mere habit.

“Yes, sir.”

His hand stiffens against your cheek, and Ghost takes another step closer. His boots graze the tips of yours and his chin is nearly tucked against his chest to look down at you properly. You’re breathing a little harder, anticipating another break of his patience and an onslaught of screaming all directed at your apparent mistakes made right in front of his face. Judgments you’d still be unable to solve no matter how much you thought about it or what you did to try and find a solution of healthy -or not- motives. Ghost doesn’t yell though. He actually lowers his face down to yours, eyes locked right on you and an intensity burning there.

“Why do you call me that?” His low growl made you shiver, especially when his hand dropped lower to your throat. Now squeezing, but holding your gaze steady on him, reminding you of his strength. The power over you he’d always held, and given you the instant to call him ‘sir’ in the first place. Everything about Ghost was overwhelming, and you’d always been one wave away from drowning under him.

“You deserve the honor…” You answer, certain. Even if he’d broken your spirit and came back in the aftermath with questions you still believed to be much too complex for a single-sentence answer. Hopefully, he understood a little bit better but the way you leaned against his hand, letting him actually feel the pressure of your throat pressing into his palm. Literally offering your trust in him over again, testing the Lieutenant and watching as his eyes widened. His other hand came up to your face, counteracting the pressure you’d applied to keep your breath and blood flow uninterrupted. His face is still only inches away from yours but unflinching at the close contact.

“Brass,” He murmured, masked face teasing closer with his own lack of control. “I’m not what you think I am.” Your chest tightens with his words, soaked in desperation that heats your lips and cheeks.

“What’s that, sir?” You question, earning another flinch of his fingers against your skin.

“Safe… Trustworthy… Honorable.” He replies, getting even closer. The smooth material ghosted over your lips, and his breathing fanning over you wetly through the damp material. You sigh, feeling lightheaded. Weak in his hands, confused yet happy to have your life held in the palms of his hands. Confused about where his mistrust comes from, but gaining perspective every time he flinches when you address him in the way you always believed he’d feel the most revered and… loved.

“You’re wrong,” You challenge, hands moving from your sides to run up the thin shirt covering his chest. “You’re a man of fear. One that death shakes at the mention of. Even looking at you through my scope a mile away is enough to remind me you’re capable of inhuman things…” Your voice lowers, hearing thoughts straight from your soul escaping without filter from your brain. “Yet you’re human. So much more than anyone sees. Because it’s not evil that keeps you going. It’s the fear and hatred of losing anything that means something to you.” Your hand rests over his chest, hearing his heart thundering against his ribs.

“You’re not a monster, you are terrified of losing everything. That is why I call you ‘sir’, is because you’re a man unlike any other, Ghost.”

Hearing your own voice say his name like that feels so foreign. Coming off your tongue with the letters not fitting together in a way that you’d experienced. But Ghost… he reacts differently. His hands tightened around you and he hugged you against his chest tightly. His chest heaves up and down and the thunder of his heartbeat impossibly quickens until your left ear can’t hear anything but the repetitive thrum of blood coursing through his body. Heavy arms snake around you, one around your head to secure it to him and the other clinging to your waist with his hand fisting into your shirt until it’s skin-tight on your stomach. The Lieutenant practically shakes against you, using your much smaller frame to steady himself.

Yet he’s dropping to one knee on the ground, bringing you down with him until he’s nearly cradling you and softly rocking your weight back and forth. Soothing himself in much the same way a child would after scraping their knee on the sidewalk and the tears have begun to dry up. God, it made the massive man feel so weak; much like you did after he’d yelled at you a week ago. Both of you kneeled on the floor now with all of your wounds opened up to each other and had silently found a calm within the eye of a destructive storm that had been raging against the pair of you while everyone on the outside had been simply looking on with bated breath to see how the ending would play out.

“Brass - I…” Ghost’s voice choked up again, his arms tightening around you. “God, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t ignore you anymore… I’m losing my mind.”

You lean into his chest harder, arms struggling to reach all the way around his wide back in an attempt to support him a little bit. You understood through the way he was grabbing at anything on you he could desperately. So you did all you could and rubbed your hand up and down his back quietly allowing him the time to work through his thoughts. Both of you had been hurt by this, and while the Lieutenant’s form of apology came in the way he’d ushered you for help when you needed it most and unquestionably been the reason behind the way your quarters looked. Now it was you, cradling a man who’d never shown a single crack in his armor, feeling the weight of so many emotional wounds that he was practically bleeding out with pain and palpable regret.

“You don’t have to…” You whisper, resting your forehead against his.

Ghost just nods his head, panting heavily and giving a low sort of whine. “I’m so sorry…”

You smile sadly. “I’m sorry too.”

His eyes soften more, blinking away at wetness brimming at his waterline. “Say it again… please. I need to hear it. God, please.”

“It’s okay…” Your hands cradle his cheeks, feeling the sharp lines and hard muscles. “I’m right here, Ghost. We’re going to do this over again… Together, Ghost.”

Nodding weakly, he meets your gaze as you say his name again. Reveling in it. “Together… together, with you.”

[halfwayhearted]

Will You Cry? — Spencer Reid.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Summary: Ever since JJ’s confession, it feels like your relationship with Spencer is crumbling to pieces right before your eyes. You’ve had enough.

Word Count: 920+

Disclaimer/s — ANGST (hiphip!), no fluff/comfort ending, no use of Y/N, I think that’s it! 🎀

A/N: Soooooo, haha… Lmk.

‘I’ve always loved you’.

Those were Jennifer Jareau's exact words to your boyfriend of two years. You weren't angry; it was a spur-of-the-moment decision. She had to give the UnSub what he wanted, to be impressed. And she did exactly that.

You weren’t mad at her at all. Nor him.

Well, you weren't mad at him then. Now, it was a whole different story.

The pieces of your relationship were shattering, bit by bit, right in front of you. The worst part was, you felt completely and utterly helpless. You tried, and you tried, and you tried. But, he just kept on acting the same way.

Distant.

Once it hit exactly two months, you realized you faced one thought and one thought only.

If you decide to let go, how will he feel?

Will he reassure you, claiming it’s just a… a rough patch, finally realizing just how deeply his lack of understanding and communication has quite literally affected you? Or, will he keep doing what he's been doing, shrugging and brushing you off like you're nothing but a stranger he happens to pass by almost every single day?

You'd find out one way or another.

Oh. You’ll actually find out right now! How fun.

As soon as you hear the front door unlock and creak open, you rise to your feet, casting a wary glance towards him. You nervously wipe your sweaty palms on your pants.

He had spent yet another few hours at the BAU, even though he didn't have to. That was also one of the reasons you so badly needed to talk to him. He never stayed this late before, but ever since everything went down, he started to. Leaving you to drive home alone, wondering if this was the slow, painful end of something special.

“Hey,” you begin, “You’re home late. Again.”

He merely hummed, a distant sound, as he took off his leather messenger bag, hung it on the hook with a weary sigh, and slipped off his shoes.

How could you even bring this up? Just—you didn’t know, take a deep breath and go for it? “Do you think we could maybe… talk?”

Slowly, Spencer flicked his gaze to meet yours. He mutters your name under his breath before replying, “I’m tired. Can this wait ‘til tomorrow?”

“No,” you blurted, internally face-palming. “It won’t take long, I don’t think.”

Inhaling sharply, your boyfriend nods and begins to take off his tie, his eyes never leaving you as you figure out how to start.

“About JJ’s confession,” you begin, mentally cursing yourself when you see him stiffen almost immediately. It’s already out. So, just stick with it. “Did it mean something to you?”

Silence. Deafening silence. The only sound is the subtle hum of the air conditioning. You vividly remember you and Spencer on the couch, his head on your lap as he read a book you both wanted to read together. He’d pause whenever the air conditioning kicked on, making you let out a small huff of laughter. It feels like it was just yesterday. But, in reality, it was four months ago.

You felt your patience thinning, “Spencer—”

“What do you want me to say?” He quips, lifting his arms in frustration. His words cut through the air, earning a bitter scoff in return.

You kept your composure. “Answer the question.”

“Why does it matter?”

Why does it matter? You could’ve burst out laughing right then and there, but you held it in.

“It matters because I need to know if everything I’ve been doing these past two months have been for nothing!” You snapped, your eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I tried to make this work, it’s like you’ve given up on us or something.”

All you get in return is silence, so you continue. “You don’t talk to me as much as you used to. Not about your day, what you’ve read, how you’ve been—nothing! It’s always ‘I’m tired, talk later,’ or you vanish into your office for hours and hours on end. We don’t even do the things we used to. Haven’t you realized? I—I don’t even know what to say to you anymore, Spencer. No weekly dates, no quality time spent. I didn’t mind because as long as you were here, I was fine. But now? Now, I’m not so sure. I’ve tried to get at least a little communication from you, but you’ve given me nothing. I’m tired, okay? So, please, talk to me.”

…

He blinks. Once, twice, three times. Nothing.

Of course.

A humorless laugh bubbles up and escapes your lips. The tears you fought so hard to hold back now stream uncontrollably down your cheeks. You brush past him and reach for your sweater. Just then, you feel the desperate brush of his fingers against your elbow, but you pull back and slip the fabric on with a trembling resolve.

You hear him say your name. You don’t answer as you grab your bag. He says it again, this time much louder. Still, you don't respond as you grab your keys. Once you stand in front of the door, you turn to face him. “If you can’t come to terms with your feelings just yet, I understand. But I’m done putting myself through that—the waiting. I won’t put up with that anymore. Not right now.”

He says nothing.

Spencer Reid is silent.

You catch the softening in his expression, but you turn away sharply, refusing to let yourself crumble under the weight of his gaze.

“Goodbye, Spencer.” And with that, you leave.

You were done.

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated ^_^.

DT(s) — @pedrilcvr ! ౨ৎ

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We need to clear something up: nonbinary or agender aliens and robots aren’t problematic. Neither are ace or aro ones. These are normal traits that you’d expect of robots and would not be surprising in aliens.

I’m bringing this up because I’ve seen some really weird criticisms lately that take the stance that if you make a robot that has no gender or sexuality, that’s somehow... bad? That a single sex alien race, or a trisexed alien race, or a hermaphroditic alien race, is somehow inherently insulting to trans people? And this take is fucking baffling to me! These are exactly the traits you would expect in robots and aliens! (This applies to robots that seem to act autistic, too; many common autism traits also happen to be traits that you might expect in artificial intelligences.)

I can see the logic. At some point, we noticed all the stories with human cis men and human cis women who were almost entirely heterosexual, and some robot who doesn’t have a gender and explains this to someone at some point, and some people went “woo, agender representation!” and then everyone had to be like “that’s not agender representation, it’s a robot.” Which is correct; the robot happens to be agender, but if none of the humans are then having all the robots be agender isn’t agender representation. So some people started thinking that the robot was the problem. The robot isn’t the problem. The robot is fine. The problem is the humans. The robot’s existence isn’t some insult to the agender community, or the nonbinary community, or the ace or aro or autistic communities, depending on what traits it was given. It’s not representation, but it’s not an insult.

“Oh, but making all the robots asexual is saying that being asexual makes someone a robot!” No. It doesn’t. Making none of the humans asexual and making them all confused by it and having them treat it like some big division is what says that. “Making aliens that don’t have genders gives the impression that genderless people -- ” NO. IT DOESN’T. Making all the humans cis people who treat the absence of gender as a weird alien thing is what does that.

The aliens and the robots are fine. They’re not the problem. The lack of diversity among human characters is the problem.

[enarei]

i was banned late in 2022 for what the moderators told me was "hate speech". in my last post before the ban took place i'd called myself a tranny (i had been doing for months admittedly). i guess self-referential use of a slur could be framed as "hate speech" if you really wanted to police a group's speech. besides that i'd very recently expressed my dislike of all the associations centered around venerating american veterans and the conspirational origins of the "MIA" flag. "veteran status" is a protected identity under tumblr's community guidelines, which i think is as patently ridiculous as it sounds to anyone who is not from the US.

but those are just guesses. for all i know it could've been something else. i can't know for certain because i didn't receive any warnings or strikes prior to the ban. they refused to cite the offending post when i pressed them on it, and they didn't follow-up on my emails when i asked them again. they just said my whole blog violated the community guidelines. how? that's the kinda absurd part about using this website for an extended period of time (i had had that account for almost 5 years). any trans woman who is mildly public or vocal about their opinions when those opinions relate to her personhood is subjected to a torrent of hate speech. radfems were much more prominent back then, which gave the impression that this site's moderation was very lax. but when i was banned my account was deleted in one swift stroke, with no reference to what the offending content was, no previous warnings, and thus no means to reasonably try to contest it. i still don't know if I actually violated the community guidelines or not. no other social media does this. and one can argue tumblr is *relatively* more stringent about hate speech which impacts trans people than it was in 2022, but it's still a terrible practice. because people who might've been falsely banned due to an antagonistic moderator targeting a popular blog for personal reasons, something we know to have occurred with transmisoginistic actors in the past, that staff themselves have admitted happened, however briefly, have no means to prove it happened to them and end up just sounding like conspiracy theorists.

even if they claim they've rooted out the problem and their moderation team is "better" the complete lack of transparency makes it impossible to prove trans women aren't being targeted

[adeleidetheexplorer]

ᰋ  ׅ࣪   ꒰  pac reading detailed ♡︎ the realistic energy of your future spouse, who are they for real?  ꒱ 

01. 02. 03.

keep in mind that the physical appearance is collective one and it may indicates that not all the parts is totally alike of them which is based on the reading. it may tell you as well that there are some of parts of them from the description that is closely similar for your future spouse's physical attributes for example, the nose, eyes, moles, skin color, height or freckles.

01

1.) physical appearance

you get the impression that this person is a hem and haw. a pair of brown eyes that resemble almonds, eagerly watch over the wilderness they've long guarded. their coffee-colored, fine and a short-straight hair that's styled in a way that makes you think from the eras 1900, combed perfectly at the back which is revealing their sad and bony face. a body that's in between of curved, lean and mascular types despite having that type of body they will tower the rest of people around them. a skin complexion which is in the light tones. they have long fingers and a big full mouth while most of their clothes are professional.

some freckles spread mesmerizingly around their nose and cheekbones, leaving charming memories of their happy childhood. this is them, your future spouse - a true romantic (dreamer) among the rest. perhaps of maybe having an unhappy moments and hurtful past or maybe it's just a sense of security towards others, there's something misleading about them from people, perhaps it's their sense of humor or perhaps it's simply their kindness. but nonetheless, people ask them favors and tend to wish to get to know them better, while trying to avoid and secretly training to become more like them.

2.) positives

protective, tough, knows how to stand on their own ground, charismatic, great decision maker, optimistic, the best planner, have a great childhood memories, not easily to get fooled, sociable, suave, a trustworthy, loves unique people, liberal, knows how to appreciate the richness whether it's big or small, broad-minded, friendly, looking for true love and soulmates, good communicator and consistent.

3.) negatives

feels detached easily when they don't get the attention they want, inner sadness(/sadistic), felt inexperience, likes to stick around probably 24/7 (super clingy), immature, over critical, fanatical, doesn't take care their health most of the time, restricting themselves to achieve more, prefer to live in a rose-colored glasses but may lack of action to do it, careless and maybe someone who is lack of discipline.

4. love/dating history

considering this individual values sincere love. most of the time, they flirt as well as having flings but usually thinking they'd like to get settled down with someone who is right for them. they usually refer and more preoccupied with their own self-improvement and less about their own romantic life right now. they possess the ability of realistic love and person and if they stumble upon the right one, they think their prayer have been answered. they are willing to sacrifice everything for the person of their dreams, their devotion, their exceptionally high lifestyle, along with everything they were entitled to, nevertheless the chronology of every single one of the aforementioned actions are somewhat a sign that you ought to shower your love on them.

5.) career and money

they akin to having to work solo almost all their times, and therefore can be recognized pros. someone who makes greater than the bare minimum amount of salary. they were able to function in any of the areas that follow: animal care, the dental profession, guiding people, medical professionals, or in general, someone who looks after the mental well-being of others, which might involve a psychologist, psychiatrist, or simply any mental healthcare worker, writing and reading, and defending people from harm. they prefer to develop their own money by means of their own hard work and hands.

6.) home life, family and friends

they feel playful around it. from their household life to their companions. they genuinely closed with a manly vitality here, your future companion highlights a gigantic respect for this person maybe they can be a parent of them. and besides i picking up here that they customarily feel an entire person with all of these people, they genuinely appreciate being included by these individuals. they maybe born in a family which is able as of presently fulfill a money related security. their household life and people who included them in their presence are outstandingly optimistic, they can genuinely depend with these people when it comes looking at their personal issues and circumstances since these individuals are unfaltering and reasonable. the only issue is that this person really don't slant toward sharing it with others since they don't want to be called as "weak". so they as frequently as conceivable allowed themselves to discussion various negatives alone. they can be an only child person or maybe they belong to a family where children are opposite-s x like they conceivably feminine or masculine among their kinfolk. it can be that this person has one companion or they are regularly meet or surrounded by unused people that they may not considered buddies at all.

a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy "foolish heart" by steve perry.

02

🐰ada says: "I picked up 2 different energies from this pile, one is masculine and the other one is feminine."

1.) physical appearance

1.1 if they were masculine

standing 5'9 tall, this red-brown skinned person has a moody feel about them, their short, brown hair, currently dip-dyed half way with shades of blue or orange, is neatly braided. they have a short goatee/mustache that is a shade browner than their hair. they might even have a messy beard. they have slender hands, spindly legs, straight hips, and average-sized feet, they have multiple tattoos on their lower legs, neck, right foot, hands, stomach or upper back. they have big, hazel eyes, a flat-wide nose and smooth cheeks, if they were someone who wears make up, they wear an obvious foundation, light eyeliner, subtle blush and light eyeshadow, they look eternal. they often wear masculine clothes that are mostly light-coloured, they are usually seen wearing a certain style of kerchief.

1.2 if they were feminine

they have a wide shoulders, this brown skinned person has a very worldly feel about them, and they have a distinctive mark on their right leg which causes offense if they are asked about it. their perm, black hair is very short. they have mysterious, large, light brown eyes, a long face and very thin lips, large hands, small feet and muscular legs. they have a uniquely styled and they are usually seen wearing a traditional jacket.

2.) positives

casual to every people they encounter, generous, charming. free-spirit, sociable, honest, trustworthy, very private person, believe that everyone is not perfect and usually make mistakes, loves to bring joy, knows how to take care of themselves, doesn't use much of social media, they know how to protect their inner peace, independent, know how to debate, luck is on their side always, smart, learn from their mistakes to re-learn and someone who is educated.

3.) negatives

hot-headed sometimes, not really committed about someone and something, way to blunt, cold, obsessive/possessive, hold grudges, maybe someone who has an addction, may like to control other people, may like to party a lot, kinda feel lonely sometimes, sexu I?(maybe this one is neutral), may act most of the time being unconcern, heartbreaker, can be bitter about their past, way to logic, they have dark side that won't tell to other people or might be with neither you and most of the time they follow their head rather than their heart.

4.) love/dating history

your future life partner may had one partner some time recently, your future companion is somebody who may be from a long-term commitment or somebody who is separate from their partner before assembly you. they possibly have a child with this individual or arranging to have one with them. there's a genuine strife that has been happen with this individual which can lead their relationship to ended up a toxic way. this individual is giving me, a really overwhelming vitality, exceptionally dull. it also looks like adore is so favorable for them, they get what they needed for a accomplice. but within the conclusion, indeed in spite of the fact that this two individuals chosen to part up, they will attempt to mend each other's to begin with some time recently completely clearing out and moving absent from one and another, individuals may percieve their relationship as culminate and full of cherish but the truth is- it's not, their sentiments for each other's aren't the same as some time recently, the start is as of now gone after this two break, they gonna attempt to work for themselves and attempt to go alone as person to begin with some time recently letting. themselves to go for the another relationship.

5.) career and money

self-made. they are somebody who utilized to have different occupations to bolster themselves fiscally. they are skilled and somebody who is able to rapidly get a handle on modern concepts, they can offer sand in desert, that's how great your future life partner or future spouse are, they can be somebody in the field of I.T analyst, medical treatment and field, bodyguard, actor, art trading areas, artist, musician, singer, commerce examiner, judge, business analysis and somebody who works in promoting and craftsmanship exchanging ranges. anything or what kind of work they closes with, it bringing them up into the highlight or spotlight, victory and triumph is made out from their claim hardwork, individuals at their work calling them frequently for help or simply adore how they work, they will be reliable at their work and they aren't narrow minded when it comes to cash or maybe on the off chance that they think there's surfeit almost it, they ordinarily giving or giving it to others. they aren't that much centering on their accounts and money but they know they come to this solidness they accomplishing for themselves for financial, they aren't centering much on their cashes since they appreciate living the minute, after all, this individual accept "money can't purchase happiness",

6.) home life, family and friends

i think this individual doesn't have kin at all and possibly they were only child but they do have numerous companions and connection. they ordinarily amicable individual and likes to form association with individuals. they appreciate their social life and they kinda ruined as well from their guardians when they were a kid but i think it's gone when they gotten to be grown-up. they guardians adore them exceptionally much and they appreciate that kind of cherish they've encountering from their domestic and social life, they think they are the foremost fortunate individual. well, little things makes them upbeat presently not at all like some time recently. they may live in a house which is outlined and great for atleast 3-4 family individuals, with two rooms. this house can be colored in white, gold and green.

a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy "your still the one" by shaina twain.

03

1.) physical appearance

a fine, lived-in face is revealed by a tight pulled ponytail. they have light tones greasy hair. this native, you gonna felt at home with for so long are guarded by bloodshot light earthy colored eyes that are securely anchored in their sockets, an enormous ears, extremely flimsy lips and a straight nose. their eyes and hair are beautifully complemented by a glisten visual, leaving a pleasant memory of their fortunate appearance. despite of their fragile frame, they perceived themselves as everyone else. they exudes an unrestrained aura despite of being medium-tall and svelte. their special striking element is their white, shimmering teeth. they (maybe) have moles completely covering their left thigh, right hand, chest, stomach and right lower arm (anywhere in these areas). they frequently wears opulent, spectacular garments that are generally pastel-hued, golden or dark colors. they typically seen wearing an unmistakable and undeniable shroud.

2.) positives

intuitive, romantic, mysterious, sympathetic, a true leader, tidy, responsible, quite and carefully listening to what the other person sharing to them, goal-oriented, influence others in a good way, sociable, easy to get liked by many, faithful, committed, have a strong inner strength and they usually attract many admirers.

3.) negatives

blunt, argumentative whether they're wrong or right, trouble maker, self doubt, anxious, rude and bossy.

4.) love/dating history

they as often as possible discover themselves in this viewpoint while in case they gonna proceed finding adore or proceed working on their possess objectives like goals. i can say this individual is single since birth and do not really have a dating history but they drop in cherish once however they knew this love is one sided which other individual doesn't cherish them back as the way they do. i also think usually a crush that turned into love, i do have this feeling that they confessed to this individual and this person turned them down since they preferred somebody else. right presently, they attempting their best to discover and adjust between these two angles of their life (love and career) whereas attempting to figuring out what truly their reason on the earth, you might meet them through your social associations.

5.) career and money

this individual is exceptionally decided to attain their objectives to gotten to be what they needed to be, they need to win and succeed in life. truly, they will accomplish much advance in their career life and will have flexibility from obligation and will be able to achieve security and steadiness. i am moreover figuring out that after marriage, the money will bloom and will accomplish more. fair an counsel for you to not spend as well much of all their cash since they worked difficult for it and it is no joke the work they put in for this security to realize. they may be from a family that incorporates a huge trade running or fair basically a family part of a proficient (a big family business). anticipate that individual to be proficient, they may be somebody who works as a chef, specialist, ceo, attorney, property speculator, genuine domain proprietor and fire fighter or firewoman.

6.) home life, family and friends

i knew it. they are from a family that appears proficient, they are ordinarily private and share as it were a number of viewpoints of their life with others. their family claims tons of properties but as i'm getting here, they may be living within the farmland. they live in a reviving house with their family, i too think that they met companions since of schools and with their family associations. they might do sports at school and it's so well known. i too think that their family itself is well-known in their community, as i talk here, perhaps their guardians have a part of associations and engagement with other greater individuals. they sentiments appears distant absent from their family, they might see these individuals scarcely or most exceedingly bad few times in a month. when we talk about their guardians, they are strict, rules and routines individuals.

a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy "all i ever need" by austin mahone.

© thecelestialperiwinkle

[extrajigs]

Wanted to figure out how chimera’s wrote and ended up starting on their written language proper. MASSIVE info dump below! 

Writing

They write using four fingers of one hand, usually the right, coated in ink. Think like a stamp almost. The three middle fingers draw with the tips of the teeth whilst the thumb will alternate between tip and back. All words are written simultaneously inward. The remaining fingers grip the source of ink, usually a length of hardened pigment only wetted on one side OR those who write often could invest in a pen. A pen for a chimera is a fanning brush saturated with ink that the writing teeth brush through when needing to reink. It allows for much faster wetting of the teeth, but can be messy when learning or refilling. 

Most chimera are right handed but left handed individuals exist, they will simply need to learn to use the two fingers opposite the middle in reverse of how someone who is right handed would! Luckily all fingers can move pretty independently of each other and it is an easy task.  As chimera mostly communicate through direct broadcast most find the written word lacking, so it is a common occupation among Chimera to write for others. It is an impressive skill to eloquently convey ideas/feelings through writing. Though their language set up lends to it MUCH more than others. 

The Nitty Gritty

All subject to change as this is very first drafty. 

Chimeric is a logographic language, there is no set alphabet and all ‘words’ stem from symbols representing things and ideas. Sentences are kind of two sentences atop one another, with one being the literal and the other the reactionary. It is read from out to in and sentences are written in a circle divided into 4 quarters. We’ll start with the top moving counter clockwise. 

Quarter 1 (Red) is the subject area, now subjects function the same as nouns for the most part, people, places, and things. But something important to note is that there must always be an ‘audience’ for the words being spoken. An audience basically means pronouns though they are a lot more encompassing with: I, You, Us, Them, Them excluding me/you, Us excluding you, Everyone, and a bunch of others. These are all acceptable audience subjects to top off your sentence. For instance you wouldn’t say “This pizza tastes good!” you would instead say “I enjoy the taste of this pizza” or “Everyone enjoys the taste of this pizza” the opinion/emotion needs to be applied to a source to make sense grammatically. 

Quarter 2 (Green) is all about emotions and opinions. Chimeric language is an exchange of ideas but also importantly emotions and feelings. Q2 is dedicated to how the sentence is supposed to be interpreted or felt by the reader, as obviously in ‘spoken’ chimeric speaker and listener technically feel the same about what is currently being said. Listener opinion is very distinct from speaker and in writing the speaker takes priority. So for example the statement “Who finished the box but left it in the pantry?” would instead have to be translated into something akin to “I am pissed and questioning who had the audacity to finish the box and did not care enough to remove it from the pantry thus leaving me to find it and become disappointed?” Basically chimeric lends itself to very long translations due to their feelings.  

Quarter 3 (Blue) is the action section of the sentence. The verbs if you will. This is where things are happening and is VERY tied in with Q1. Subjects in Q1 and Q2 will be linked together with lines that follow the same slice through the circle.

When a subject is linked to an action that means that the subject is the one performing the action, whereas subjects closer to the center and unaligned with an action are what is being acted upon. Like with the audience conundrum though an action needs a subject to actually act, whether it is an individual/s or an object or place. This is usually the least word heavy portion of the sentence as it is almost supplemental to Q1, and in contrast to the thin, crisp lines of the other quarters, Q3 will often be smudgey and more messy due to being written mostly with the back of the thumb. 

Quarter 4 (Yellow) is generally not going to have any words written there, as it functions as the anchor point for the hand. The outmost finger rests here on the page to stabilize the hand as it closes during writing. When writing in a ream of papers this is where the hole to hold them all together is punched through. However in modern fanciful writing styles Q4 is also used as a secondary emotional quarter. This style will use Q4 as the reactionary emotion of the reader, more so the expected reaction and emotion from the reader. This is an EXTREMELY class based writing style and it is a GIANT NO NO to write like this for someone of higher status to read. Typically only Clan heads will freely use this writing style, especially towards each other lmao. The writing style of the passive aggressive power struggle. 

All together Quarters are read at once! And I mean that there is no one word the chimera will start with. Every word of the sentence is absorbed at the same time, no following along a line like how I’m currently typing. But what indicates the order of which things are meant to be perceived is how close they are to the outside of the circle. Things closer to the center come later in the sentence and will be understood to be lower in the hierarchy of words. However only subjects and actions are directly linked to each other, emotion/opinion words are to have a more natural seep throughout the entirety of the sentence with only a loose idea of where they are to be felt. In this way while a subjects actions may be concrete, the writers feelings about them are more fluid and organic. 

Chimeric conlang yay! I wanted to make modern Mirum script but decided I needed to start at the roots. So technically two written languages originate from Mirum, but they are extremely similar with one directly branching from the other. Chimeric is the original and Miran is the derivative, they mostly share characters but their sentence structure is different. Chimeric keeps the circular structure whereas Miran is a zigzagging horizontal and completely drops quarters 2 and 4. Leading to modern Miran being a very literal language vs Chimeric’s emotion heavy focus. But if you know one you can pretty much read the other, albeit with some culture shock. 

[lazycats-stuff]

Hello I hope you are well I wanted to make a request about a little male reader that he is a Green Lantern who ends up in Gotham for something related to space drug trafficking but for unspecified reasons he ends up being very attached to Batman a lot as if he were his son small and the bat family ends up making fun of him for this.

I really apologize if there are any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language and I hope I don't bother you with this request.

Hey, English isn't my first language too, so no worries. Of course I can make this, sorry that this took so long though...

Summary: (Y/N) gets attached to Batman.

Warnings: is the ending rushed? Maybe, nothing major, minor cursing here and there, but only one or two

(Y/N) never knew that if he ever took that ring that he would be a Green Lantern and that it would catapult him into this world of justice, injustice and a gray area of the world of criminals. While it is an incredible experience that most people will never experience, such as flying and having powers, but of course, everything has a bad side.

Such as trauma, PTSD, lack of trust towards people and more so towards humanity as a whole. And (Y/N) lost faith in all creatures as it is, since he is responsible for space as well. More often than not, he would travel to space and he would have to investigate there. More people would think that alien species would be more above of human crimes.

Think again.

They were just as bad, if not more worse. (Y/N) had difficult bumps in his hero life. Being a young hero, all alone, with no one to fall back on is rather difficult. Seeing the awful things in this line of work is hard enough, but not having anyone to fall back onto, it makes it even more harder.

But seeing justice being handed to those who deserve it, seeing the victims being empowered... That's something that keeps him going. And is justice always perfect like people would like to think so?

No. But (Y/N) saw that justice takes care of the innocent. Late or early, it always comes when you least expect it.

And that's what kept him going, to keep helping everyone he could. Through all the hardships... It kept him going.

Soon enough, he was introduced into the Justice League and to Flash, Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and of course, the infamous Batman. He soon became a member as well and that came with a shit ton of help.

Better equipment, communication and more information that he previously couldn't get or didn't have access to. It made his life much more easier and the cases moved quicker due to the before mentioned information. (Y/N) was on cloud 9 as it is.

However, there was a slight problem called Batman.

(Y/N) was slightly afraid of the man, but in awe at the same time. Batman was a detective known all over the world. His detective skills are impressive, almost like Sherlock Holmes', which is impressive. And with today's technology, Batman is nothing short of a great detective.

But then again, there is a problem with the man's demeanor. He is scary as hell. The man just pops out out of thin air and makes your blood pressure rise to the moon itself. But he is a good mentor when he needs to be and when someone needs guidance. It's something that fascinates (Y/N) about the duality of the man.

And, (Y/N) doesn't have a father so he may or may not get attached. Either way, (Y/N) has some sort of respect for Batman, but more out of fear.

As of now, (Y/N) was going to kill someone. He was on this drug trafficking case for a long while, bouncing from one point A to a point A,1. He couldn't get to point A to point B directly as it should have been. Oh no. Oh God no. Why would (Y/N) get it so easily?

At last, (Y/N) has made it to the almost point B. That almost point B came down to Earth. More specifically, to Gotham city. To Batman's domain, so to speak. Sure, saying domain is rather dramatic, but everyone knows that Gotham City is off limits for anyone who is not Batman.

So, (Y/N) threaded carefully in the city, looking for the people who were needed in his case. He tried to be as covert as possible. That, everyone, went to shit rather quickly.

" What are you doing here? " Batman asked from behind him in his gravelly voice, making (Y/N) jump into the air like a scared cat, grabbing his chest like an old lady.

" Jesus! What the hell?! " (Y/N) exclaimed, leaning down onto his knees.

" What are you doing here? " Batman asked again in his deep and gravelly voice.

" I'm here on a lead of my drug trafficking case. And before you say something, I'm not leaving until I solve it. I led me everywhere and the last stop is here. " (Y/N) said with determination in his voice, however, inwardly, he was shaking in his boots. Batman is scary, can you blame him?

" There has been a new drug on the streets that has been causing problems here... " Batman noted and then looked at (Y/N) and it took everything in him that he doesn't buckle at this very moment. His glare was piercing.

" It seems we are going to work together. " (Y/N) said and Batman simply called someone and (Y/N) wasn't sure what to make of that. Why is the man so cold?

" We will work together, but I'm taking charge since it's my city here. What do you know about the drug and it's distributers? "

And that's how their chaotic friendship and paternal looking up started. (Y/N) has learnt a few tricks from Batman who has years under his belt as a detective really taught (Y/N) some things that will help him in his investigations later on. (Y/N) didn't think that Batman would be such a great mentor, but he was.

Tough and firm when he needed to be, when (Y/N) felt weak and hopeless in this case. And when (Y/N) was clueless, he would be pointed into the right direction and was allowed to learn on his own, with subtle hints. And reassuring when he felt insecure about his powers.

And in the meantime, he met the entire family, starting with the oldest Dick and ending with Damian, the youngest one in the family and the only biological one in the family.

Everything would have been normal if (Y/N) didn't bond with Bruce so out of nowhere. Almost like he would have been his son. Bruce had absolutely no explanation for this. And neither did (Y/N).

But did either of them complain? No.

Did the boys decide to absolutely make fun of the situation? Hell yes.

Dick would often joke that Bruce has a radar for the orphans, regardless of the region where they lived.

Jason would often compare Bruce to a solitary creature that comes out of its lair to seek them and bring them to the lair. Bruce more often then not rolls his eyes at the remark.

Tim simply calls him a new brother and Damian has often joked that (Y/N) is a long lost son of Bruce.

Of course, all of this was in good nature, no malice behind any of those words. Boys liked (Y/N), not minding it all, but they are still allowed to have fun with the situation.

[solar-serpent]

Which one of your gifts can help you to manifest the life you want?🪄

Hello! I haven't posted a PAC in ages, so I am excited to share something different from the fs/so readings you can mostly find in my blog. Let's focus on you✨ and how special you are!🤗

I want my gals to be rich (or at least comfortable) and impediment💅🏻 so pick a witch and get to know the peak of your potential!

Pile I → Pila II

Pile III → Pile IV

🗝️Pile I🗝️

Conviction is your greatest gift. You can manifest any material thing thanks to your steadiness and stubbornness. You don’t need any sort of validation to keep pushing forward, you already believe in yourself and the extent of your power. You have a strong sense of ownership as you are willing to fight and defend what is yours. You are a creative person with clear and solid ideas. The only thing that seems to disturb you at times is your fear of failure or the intrusive thought you have accomplished almost nothing in life. You have the archetypes of the worker and the architect. Your special gift is the one of building, your love for creation will drive you to manifest beautiful and unexpected things.

Hi! I hope this reading was to your liking♡. I'm offering paid readings about this topic here.

🗝️Pile II🗝️

Your intuition is more powerful than you think. You can get in tune with the collective unconscious and predict the next trend that will be born. You started wearing lolita shoes and gothic accessories, and then everyone was wearing them three weeks later? It's not a coincidence, honey. You will walk into a room full of people, pick on the energies steering on the air and quickly deduce what's going on with each present group, right? Nothing escapes that third eye. Be quick and a real pioneer. You have the ability to leave everyone’s jaw dropped! Sometimes you can doubt yourself and overestimate your own gifts. You have the archetypes of the planner and the artist. You are ready to embrace success.

Hi! I hope this reading was to your liking♡. I'm offering paid readings about this topic here.

🗝️Pile III🗝️

Is it a gift or a life mission? You do not and will never lack material resources. Very often you find yourself in a situation where you have to make a decision involving the following questions: “what will you do with your resources? How can you receive more profit from them? Will you manifest something exclusively for you or for your community? Your archetype is the opulent. You can manifest things on a large scale, as well as employment for others. You are born a leader, altruistic in nature, the defender of your people or land. Others need your services, so one position will always open up for you wherever you go.

Hi! I hope this reading was to your liking♡. I'm offering paid readings about this topic here.

🗝️Pile IV🗝️

Your cleverness has led you to countless achievements. You have the soldier archetype! Your outlook on life is very simple and can be summarized like this: challenges, victories and defeats. You are tough, reckless and sometimes you believe yourself invincible. You will rise gracefully from difficult situations and finish the most complicated tasks to everyone’s surprise. You possess great strength, you are willing to ignore the shame of defeat or the pain coming from an injury to embark on your next adventure. When an idea has been set in your mind, you’ll turn restless until you succeed on manifesting it. Passions, love, the wish to impress someone can lead you to manifest with more intensity. Your life purpose is meting victory, you are not necessarily over-ambitious.

Hi! I hope this reading was to your liking♡. I'm offering paid readings about this topic here.

[death---dealer]

I love noa but blue eyes will always hold my heart ❤️

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR HONOR HE JUST NEEDS A HUG--

Part two to this imagine. Title: Fished. Fandom: Planet of the Apes. Pairing: ( Getting BETTER ) Yearning! Blue Eyes x Human! Reader. Rating: K. ( Mucho fluffy. ) Words: 1.8K. Summary: Blue Eyes is not a chatter box. You knew this very well, but still, every so often, he'll bless you with a conversation and always leave you wanting more.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

The sound of twigs crushing underweight got Blue Eyes’ attention. He had been so invested in scouring the area with his eyes, checking for any signs of danger that it ultimately left him defenseless to an extent. Actions caused by his young age, something no doubt his Father would scold him about if he were there, about needing to not be so invested into his own personal thoughts that it caused him to lack focus on other, more important tasks. He could almost see, hear Caesar in his mind about that but he pushed it aside. Even when out on his own time, he found himself thinking about his Father. But--- what had caused the twigs to snap?

Blue Eyes tilted his head and out of the corner of his vision was a form. Ah… It was not dangerous, your scent hit him mildly before your entire being came into view and he turned his head back forward, following the dance of light as it seeped in from the sky above, casting fun shadows along the ground of the woods. It was just you. Just… You, Blue Eyes thought and turned his head to glance up at you, opting to rest in a rather comfortable crouch position as his gaze followed fish in the water in front of him that swam dangerously close to the edge of the shore.

‘Have fun?’ Your signing was rough around the edges, Blue Eyes thought with a huff to himself. A laugh of contentment. You were asking him if he was having fun. A brief expression of happiness hit him, and you felt a surge of gratefulness wash over you. The fishing expedition with himself, you and Ash had gone splendidly. Blue Eyes was quite adamant to be the watch for the entire trip. Not much fishing was done for him, he plucked a few once you were at the embankment of the river and hooted in excitement with Ash at how large a catch it was. You were impressed too, less so once he offered you to hold it, but impressed and happy nonetheless. But he did have a good time watching you and Ash. Ash and… you… You.

The way your body bent against the trick illusion of sunlight bouncing off the water, the chaos of the moment when Ash began chasing you with a fish at the end of his spear, the pleasure on your face when you took your spear out of the water, the tiniest of fishes on the very tip. Tiny, Blue Eyes could eat it in one bite but you were still so proud to call to him, to show it to him. He… He liked that. That you beckoned him, and the way that his name fell from your lips? Blue Eyes felt confused at that and often shook it off, but this time, he couldn’t. It lingered and felt like a mild thorn in his side. He ended up by the embankment in subtle silence, watching, waiting for the second you came back to him to tell him that this time was over, and that you were ready to head back.

With wrinkly hands from being submerged in water for an extended time, you propped yourself next to the Ape Prince, letting your eyes trail along your fingertips before smiling and dropping them into your lap. Pensive silence followed; Common with Blue Eyes but you always found it nice, the non-pressures of having to actually communicate. Ash had gotten himself busy with preparing for departure, you watched as he placed fish into a basket, weaved by yours truly. It wasn’t the best looking, a bit sloppy around the middle, but you couldn’t help but feel proud of the work you had done.

In all honesty, you didn't want to leave. To go back to the Colony in the same silence that you came in, save for Ash’s pestering about you and Blue Eyes. Whatever that Ape saw between his friend and you had to be catapulted in his mind. You didn't want to return just yet as you let your gaze sink into the Prince next to you. Words always found themselves dry when you tried to teeter in your mind how Blue Eyes looked to you.

He was svelte- given his age, given all aspects of his parents, you supposed that made sense. He hadn't quite grown into the same bulk that Caesar had, but no doubt that as the years passed, he would get there, even potentially matching or surpassing his Father. The mild part in his hair, courtesy of his Mother Cornelia. How soft it looked, you thought to yourself with a sigh of longing. What you would give to brush your fingertips through, just to know what it felt like. You imagined silky- the rest of his fur appeared coarse in nature, another aspect of age. He’d smooth out as he got older, the patches of fur that weren’t as thick as others along his shoulders would find themselves evened out and balanced perfectly against the ripple of his muscles underneath. You paused for a moment at the scars across his chest, starting at his right shoulder and encasing his entire upper chest with three parallel and long gashes. If they hurt him, he was good at covering it up as they had already begun to scab over.

The scar that encased his right cheek was noted, feeling a bit of sympathy rest against your chest. How you’d love to heal him, to help him. In these moments of silence, it was always his eyes that caught your attention. You were so used to the intelligence of the green eyes that his were always going to leave you breathless. The bright blue nature, so vivid against the backdrop of his pupils and limbal rings. You wanted to swim in them, that’s how dilated with color they were. You tried your best to gawk, but it was hard not to as you shifted your body ever so slightly to angle away from him, hopeful that if your entire being wasn’t entranced with him, maybe you could focus on something else.

Despite your attempts to cover, Blue Eyes knew you were looking at him. Every pass of your eye, every narrowing and widening, were documented. Known, accepted, and allowed. Blue Eyes did not know why, but even your presence, just sitting beside him doing absolutely nothing, caused him to rattle on the inside. You were great friends with him, you were great friends with Ash, but the stir in the pit of his stomach caused him to shift ever so slightly. He signed, hopeful that it was just a passing feeling and it would fade, ‘Lot of fun. Good fishing ground here.’

A response, albeit late, to your earlier inquiry. You smiled, nodding in agreement. You knew nothing about fishing, Blue Eyes had to know that. ‘I caught one.’ You signed proudly. ‘Finally.’ You tacked on with a laugh.

There was a flash of a happy expression across the Apes face at your joke. ‘Tiny,’ he joked right back, ‘Good, you learned how to do it.’

‘Had good teacher.’ The praise that Blue Eyes got from you pushed him through a metaphorical door. He felt… good. Good that he taught you so well, proud that you told him he was a good teacher.

Still, he could not bring himself to rest comfortably with the compliment from you, documenting the way it made his heart race, the way he felt clammed up when you smiled. ‘Ash is better.’ Ash is better at teaching how to fish, or other things?

You tilted your head and chittered softly, using your words rather than rudimentary signing. It had to be difficult for Blue Eyes to put together cohesive statements from your rather choppy knowledge of sign language. Getting better, but still hard to formulate complete thoughts. “Ash almost stabbed my foot thinking it was a fish.”

Blue Eyes let out a few huffs at that with an open mouth. He was laughing- not at you, but at the situation he imagined. He knew Ash to be that way, and odds are, his friend would deny it happening. He was the greatest fisher of the entire Colony, after all. Self-proclaimed, Blue Eyes sarcastically joked and made fun of Ash for it.

‘He gets… impatient.’ You could tell from the way his hands were moving that he was searching for motions you were going to understand. ‘Wants to catch all at once. Does not wait.’

That… sounded remarkably like Ash, but also like Blue Eyes and you found yourself slapped with a stupid looking smile as you said, “Are you sure you’re not talking about yourself?”

Blue Eyes got quiet next to you in a mild form of self-reflection before snapping rather defensively, ‘No.’

That made you burst out with laughter, tilting your head back and placing a hand on your chest to catch your breath as you wheezed. Blue Eyes watched, turning his head ever so slightly at the sound you were making. Sure, he had heard Humans laugh before - in fact, this was not the first time he’d heard you but the way you moved, the way your head exposed your jugular to his eyes, the way you lightly placed an arm to his bicep, unknowingly or not, to keep yourself leveraged from falling over - Blue Eyes stiffened beside you and let out a small laugh, unsure why what he said was so amusing but he wasn’t able to bring himself to complain upon seeing your visceral reaction.

Wiping tears away from the corners of your eyes, you smiled once more at Blue Eyes. You opened your mouth to speak once more but were cut short as Ash came stumbling in behind the two of you, muttering something about the loss of time and that you needed to head back now to get to the Colony before dark. Blue Eyes gave you a passing glance as he stood next to his friend who gave him a raised eyebrow look - no doubt wondering what the two of you were talking about. Suddenly, as you were preparing to hike your body onto your feet, there was a hand in front of your face. Blue Eyes. You blinked at it, but accepted the action and grasped at his tightly. Without reserve and leaving you breathless as a result, he picked you up like you weighed nothing more than a leaf.

And in stunted silence, you began the trek back home, hoping to the high heavens that Ash didn't come to your reckoning and beg you to tell him about the details from your conversation with Blue Eyes. You wanted to keep his words to yourself.

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you've loved before part 1

author's note: hi! remember that time i wrote jack fics? well i'm branching out, so BUCKLE UP BABY. it should be said that this will be multiple parts, i don't know how many though so again, buckle up. also i'm pretending the trade never happened

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, mentions of absent parent

mat barzal. nearly everyone in new york was obsessed with him, you knew him by the awkward elevator interactions when you were leaving work and he was getting home.

you nannied for a family in his building, a mom named erin who was rarely home with two really sweet children, ages 2 and 4.

you didn't even know his name until a few weeks after he moved in when erin mentioned his name in passing conversation, saying something about an nhl player living across the hall.

"i think he's around your age," she said with a sly smirk. "and handsome too, introduced himself to the kids too. such a sweetheart."

"erin," you started. "you can't possibly know he's a sweetheart from one two second interaction."

she tsked and waved you off. "first impressions have a great impact."

you met him when you were getting off the elevator. he had a duffle bag slung over one shoulder and wore a suit, his hair was wet and strewn about in every direction. you were in a pair of sweats to combat the cold.

he mumbled a small hey and made a pathetic excuse for a smile as he waited for you to get off the elevator.

everything you knew about him, you gleaned involuntarily. he must suck at cooking given the amount of times the smoke detector would go off in his place, you could hear the beeping through the walls. and his lack of cooking skills took shape in the trash bags filled with take out boxes that he loudly dumped in the trash chute. you even knew he had a best friend named "tito" from the shouting that erupted every time said friend came over.

you thought nothing of him aside from the mild annoyance at his loud noises.

it wasn't until the fall came and the two year old turned three (and therefore went off to preschool) that things changed.

you'd just settled into your pajamas when erin called asking you to come over.

"is everything alright?" you asked.

"you remember mat?"

"hardly."

she laughed through the phone, though it sounded a little strained. "can you come over? he's found himself in a bit of a situation."

you paused. "what kind of situation?"

spoiler alert: it was an eight month old baby girl kind of situation.

mat was sitting on erin's couch while the baby, whose name was apparently ella, snoozed away in the pack and play when you walked in.

erin explained the situation as you took a seat. something about a fling he had that resulted in a pregnancy (obviously) and the mom decided parenting just wasn't for her so she dropped the baby off with mat and has blocked him on all forms of communication.

erin leant some things like a pack and play for ella to sleep in until he got a crib. but he didn't need that as much as he needed you.

a nanny.

"i know you already have a job, but i can pay well and pay you more for watching all three kids when you have them," mat begged. "i know i have late games so it would require late nights but you can sleep in the guest room if you'd like and i might be gone for a week at a time, but you can invite friends over to hang out and--"

you held up a hand. listening to the man beg and plead for your help was almost heartbreaking. "i'll do it."

he sat back. "what, really?"

you furrowed your brows. "is that a problem?"

mat shook his head. "no! sorry, i was just surprised you'd agree so quickly.

"well, it's not like it would interfere with my time with erin's girls. i could watch your baby during the day and take her to pick up the girls from school and keep ella until you get back."

he still looked unsure. "i work late nights sometimes, is that a problem?"

you thought about the fact your schedule has been empty for the past few months, that the only reason you leave your shitty apartment was because erin needed you to nanny. "i think i can manage."

he smiled for the first time that evening, looking almost near tears. "thank you thank you thank you," he said.

you nodded, a little overwhelmed by his sudden change in demeanor. "when do i start?"

day one

you hesitantly walked into mat's big ass apartment to the sound of a screaming baby.

it was six in the morning.

mat ran into the living room, hair askew, clothes wrinkled, but his baby was in a clean set of pajamas with tears running down her face.

"i don't know what's wrong," he said frantically. "she woke up and i changed her diaper but she's still crying."

you dropped your bag on the floor and made your way over to him, taking ella out of his arms and immediately bouncing her in your own. "she's probably hungry," you guessed.

"i tried that! i put the bottle in the microwave but when i gave it to her she started crying harder and--"

"wait," you stopped him. "you put the bottle in the microwave?" he nodded. "with the formula?" he nodded again. "mat, you can't do that. heat the water separately and then add the formula. and then test it on your wrist to make sure it's the right temperature." you walked into the kitchen and prepared the bottle the right way, showing mat how to do it as you went.

when all was said and done, you placed the new bottle in ella's mouth and watched as she took it without issue.

mat's shoulders sagged in relief. "you're a miracle worker."

you gave him a sheepish smile. "you can go get ready, mat. i've got her from here." he nodded and hurried towards what you assumed was his bedroom while you walked over to the couch to sit down.

ella was a cute baby, you'd give her that. no doubt taking after her father. she looked at you with wide eyes as she drank her bottle, her irises never left your face. it would've been unnerving if she had been an adult.

mat came out a little less frazzled ten minutes later. ella had finished her bottle at that point and the both of you were laid on the floor doing tummy time.

"what's that?" he pointed to the two of you once he stopped running his hands through his hair.

"what's what?"

"what's that you're doing?" he gestured again before placing his hands on his hips.

"tummy time," you smiled. "it helps build her neck muscles. also helps prevent flat spots on the back of her head."

you didn't like to judge people for their skin color, because it's racist, but you didn't think it was possible for mat to be paler until you spoke.

"she could get flat spots?"

you hung your head as ella babbled to herself.

it was going to be a long employment.

day ten

you'd finally gotten mat on a rhythm, he looked a little less scared with every day that you came over.

but today was different.

he was going on an eight day roadie which meant you would be watching her overnight several nights in a row (on top of erin's kids).

you'd done much harder jobs before, so you weren't nervous about the time you spent with ella, it was more so you feared all the confidence you built in the week or so you'd worked for mat would disappear when he came back and realized he had an eighteen year commitment waiting at home for him.

"you have my number, right?" he asked even though you got it the night you accepted the position.

"yes, mat," you said instead.

"and you'll text me if anything goes wrong?"

you nodded. you bounced ella on your hip and held her hand up. "bye dada," you said for her, smiling as she did.

mat's bags were stationed by the front door, but he made no move towards them. he stayed planted in front of you, but his hands fidgeted.

"can i--" he cleared his throat. "can i hold her?"

"of course!" you didn't hesitate to pass her off to mat, who handled her like precious cargo, but was still a little unsure about the entire situation.

once she was settled, he took his eyes off her to look at you. "you know where the guest room is, right?" you nodded. "right, just make yourself at home. i stocked the fridge, i have just about every streaming service, so you should be fine." he paused. "but if you aren't--"

"mat--"

"--you can just text me if you need anything, alright?" he turned his head to focus on ella who took her hands to slap to his cheeks. "and you be good, okay baby?" his voice pitched higher right before he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

you checked your watch to keep yourself from intruding on what felt like a special moment. "mat," you started. "you should get going before you're late."

he nodded and pressed one last kiss to the top of ella's head before passing her back to you. "i'll facetime you when i get to the hotel, okay? so i can tell her goodnight?"

you nodded and left out the part that she would probably be asleep because honestly, you weren't expecting him to remember.

"alright," he said, wiping his hands on his pants before making his way to the front door where his bags sat. "i'll see you in a week."

"bye bye dada," you said in a high squeaky voice, using ella's hand to wave just like before.

he smiled before walking out the door and locking it behind him.

day fourteen

it wasn't until halfway through mat's roadie that weariness settled in. you were constantly surrounded by children, which normally wouldn't be an issue, but between ella and erin's two kids, you were practically a full time single parent.

which sucked because it wasn't even like you got laid to even create this issue.

mat, though, true to his word, facetimed every night he possibly could. he smiled wide every time he saw ella's face and while she was confused at how your phone worked, ella smiled and laughed at the sound of her father's voice.

"what have you been up to?" he asked one evening. you were spoon feeding ella sweet potato puree for dinner while he was laying in bed in his hotel room.

"nothing really, we went to the park today, she was really happy to see a few dogs."

mat grumbled. "certainly didn't get that from me."

you couldn't help it, you smiled at his pout.

"is that--" he guffawed. "did i make you smile?"

you rolled your eyes. "i'm sure i've smiled at you before."

"you haven't!"

"and i don't blame you!" another voice piped in. "he's not funny."

when mat saw the look on your face, he sighed. "that's tito," he said like that explained everything.

"nice to meet you, tito!" you called.

"is that your nanny?" you heard him call. "can i say hi to ella?"

mat rolled his eyes but moved the camera to show you a good looking man lounging in the other bed. he was handsome in a way that mat wasn't. you couldn't really compare one to the other in the same way you couldn't compare an apple to quantum physics.

"ella can you say hi?" you asked in a small voice. ella spared a single glance to camera before screaming. you laughed before spoon feeding her more puree. "sorry," you started. "she does that sometimes."

tito looked terrified but covered it up quickly when mat cleared his throat. "she just screams randomly?"

you shrugged. "usually when she's excited or frustrated."

tito laid back in his bed and started scrolling on his phone. "babies, man."

mat came back into view. his head rested back on his pillow as he held the camera above his face. "are you both doing okay?"

you opened your mouth to reply but tito cut him off.

"you don't need to ask her that everyday!" he said.

you couldn't see what he did, but judging by the shaking of the camera and the cackle that escaped tito's lips, you'd give your left leg and say he flipped his best friend off.

you took your eyes off the camera to look at ella who was using her puree covered hands to rub at her eyes. you put your phone down and grabbed a napkin to immediately start wiping her face and hands.

"is everything okay?" mat asked. "did i lose you?"

"just had to put the phone down to clean her up. she's getting sleepy." you pulled ella out of her high chair, resolving to clean it up later, and picked your phone up.

mat's face lit back up when ella came into view. "hi baby girl," he smiled. "are you getting ready to go to bed?"

ella rested her head on your shoulder and yawned.

"well, i'll let you two go," mat sighed. "i love you, ella bean." he directed his gaze to you. "same time tomorrow?"

"i'll let you know if anything changes."

"night."

"night, mat."

he ended the call and left you to take ella to bed.

day twenty-seven

nearly a month into working for mat and everything was going great. ella had gotten used to you which meant she knew you would come back when you left the room. the first two weeks, she cried every time you left. and if you had to guess, it probably had something to do with how her mother treated her.

and mat, well, he was embracing the father role well enough for someone who thought he was an unattached bachelor not even a month ago.

as far as you go, you were still getting used to the workload of erin's kids and ella. and while you would never breathe a word of it to anyone, you preferred ella over erin's kids.

your roommate and your boyfriend took some time to adjust to your new hours, but your roommate was excited when you contributed more to groceries and apartment needs. as far as your boyfriend went, he was still getting used to the idea of you being gone all day and sometimes even weekends, but even he admitted ella was the cutest baby he'd ever seen.

you were plating yogurt and some smashed peaches for her morning snack while holding her on your hip when mat walked in the kitchen, hair wet from a shower.

"hey," he said. "how is she?"

at the sound of his voice, ella turned in your arms and made a grabby motion for him. "you tell me," you said, handing her off to him. almost immediately, ella rested her head in the crook of his neck and popped a thumb in her mouth.

a smile crossed his face at the way ella fit so perfectly into the lines of his body.

"you're good at this," you remarked.

he laughed. "i have no idea what i'm doing."

"does anyone?"

"you seem to have it figured out."

the laugh was out of your mouth before you could stop it. "well then, let me go audition for broadway. i'm a better actress than i thought."

neither of you said a word, but you continued to stare at each other until his phone dinged. mat shifted ella around until he could fish his phone out of his pocket. "oh it's my mom." he scrolled through the texts when a figurative lightbulb appeared over his head.

"what?" you asked.

"my family is coming into town to meet ella next week so that might affect the hours you have." a flash of panic must've been present on your face because he quickly spoke again. "but your pay will still be the same! i don't want you to worry about that at all. i might still need you throughout the week."

"okay!" you smiled before moving ella's morning snack to her high chair. mat peeled her off of him and placed her in the seat before taking the chair next to hers.

his phone dinged again.

"oh," he said.

"what is it?"

"my mom wants to meet you."

"oh."

[greenandsorrow]

~Her man child~

Headcanons 📺

Vox is the definition of a manchild and I think it's kinda obvious.

He's the mean kind, acting with so much spite, sometimes without it being necessary or justified.

He NEEDS to be taken seriously. He tries so hard, blurring the lines between respect, fear and tolerance.

But when you two are alone... the telly-head man is a whiny boy.

He complains like it's a form of art. You can't help but roll your eyes playfully when he lets out a too loud sigh, but after doing so you're always ready to give him all the reassurance and attention he desperately craves.

Your man prefers being the little spoon. He's like a lap cat.

If anyone finds out about his cuddly nature, he's gonna die a second time...

Vox feels the need to constantly prove himself to Velvette and Valentino, but with you he feels safe. He can be overly emotional. And weak. And needy.

Very needy.

If you're not somewhere behind the camera admiring him and boosting his confidence, his day is ruined.

Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.

In the mornings he doesn't even turn on his screen... settling for the protection setting instead.

You have to be patient with him.

Bring him a steaming cup of coffee and hug him from behind and he might as well start giggling like a schoolgirl.

He's too sensitive for harsh jokes. Being in Hell means ONLY dark and cruel humour, but Vox can't take it sometimes.

His ego is fragile.

In order to feel loved, Vox has to be showered in extravagant compliments on a daily basis. Whether it's about his appearance, his job, his amazing and very interesting personality... He needs them.

When you tell him he's better than the radio demon.... he literally gets rock hard.

Vox is in a constant dilemma between showing you off for all Pentagram City to know you're his, or keeping you secret.

It's the same as a boy with his favourite toy. If other kids see his toy, he's gonna have to share.

What if someone steals his favourite toy?! Or even worse... BREAK IT?!

That being said, he doesn't objectify you, but he's terrible at showing affection or appreciation.

He's gonna be there for you, help you with anything you need, laugh with you, spend quality time with you. Still, deep communication is a difficult subject for him.

Thank god you're observant enough to catch all the messages he tries to pass to you.

Such an attention seeker though.

Have you ever seen a six year old trying to impress his crush?

Just look at Vox trying to woo you. It's the same thing.

But he's not that bad... His self-esteem is an obstacle alright, but he becomes a rug for you to step on and use as you wish most of the time.

Vox would definitely go out of his way if you asked something from him. You're his rock. It's the least he can do.

The guy even whimpers in his sleep.

Vox loves to fill his hands with your thighs when it's bed time. They're warm and soothing to him, like stress toys. Being a walking television has its disadvantages temperature wise.

He would bend you over and take you in front of a mirror so he could see himself while at it, but he hasn't done so yet. He wants to ask you beforehand and make sure it won't make you feel weird.

Vox is easy to rile up. A breathy compliment and a squeeze of his thigh and he's more than ready to go.

He doesn't actually feel dominant, but he tries to act like it. This Vee member has the stereotype man = dominance engraved in his subconsciousness and so he fights to live up to it.

But between you and me... Treat him like an inexperienced and innocent boy and he'll be crying out in pleasure.

Aka... be a femdom. Even a soft one. You won't even have to try that much.

Another thing. Vox is loud. (Like his name implies 🫣)

He also pants a lot. Almost like he's hyperventilating.

Unlike Alastor, this man is very insecure about both his performance and... size.

I'm not saying he's lacking in either though. It's just how his mind works. Always comparing himself to his opponents and in this case, his opponents are other men that could perhaps satisfy you more thoroughly than him.

Allow me to say that he fucks in an anxious way. Hands shaking and his mantra "Does that feel good to you darling?"

You just need to praise him a little. (A lot)

He doesn't last that long but he'll be sure to rub your clit so you don't either.

When it gets too real, he tears up at the end, like a baby that's holding back from crying. But you're there to hold him until he calms down.

He's usually too tired (and still nervous) afterwards for proper aftercare. Vox likes to be babied though. It's more personal attention after all.

Oh to be cleaned up and tucked to bed! Only then will he feel comfortable enough to run his fingers through your hair and mumble a faint thank you.

Vox's head has a bit of an awkward shape for cunnilingus. However, he has a surprisingly long tongue that can reach more than enough to have you moaning out how good of a boy he's being.

He usually cums in his pants while eating you out.

And when you return the favour it's usually to relieve his stress at work. He feels like a teenager when you do it. It's an act of service, really.

He low-key fucks your face, not enough to choke you but you do gag around him. It makes him feel in control. It makes him feel like a man.

To sum up, Vox is a bit dependent on you and on your validation, but he would never hurt you or become too overbearing.

He's needy, but not stupid.

He is the definition of a manchild and I think I proved my point.

But he's your manchild sis!

Support a struggling university student! Thank you so so much🫶 CLICK HERE (PayPal link)

my masterlist || Hazbin Hotel masterlist 🦷

~~~

Vox divider by @rubra-wav

Support divider by @cafekitsune

The explicit content one... I don't remember :(

~~~

[thecelestialperiwinkle]

ᰋ  ׅ࣪   ꒰  pac reading detailed ♡︎ the realistic energy of your future spouse, who are they for real?  ꒱ 

01. 02. 03.

♡tarot commission♡

keep in mind that the physical appearance is collective one and it may indicates that not all the parts is totally alike of them which is based on the reading. it may tell you as well that there are some of parts of them from the description that is closely similar for your future spouse's physical attributes for example, the nose, eyes, moles, skin color, height or freckles.

01

1.) physical appearance

you get the impression that this person is a hem and haw. a pair of brown eyes that resemble almonds, eagerly watch over the wilderness they've long guarded. their coffee-colored, fine and a short-straight hair that's styled in a way that makes you think from the eras 1900, combed perfectly at the back which is revealing their sad and bony face. a body that's in between of curved, lean and mascular types despite having that type of body they will tower the rest of people around them. a skin complexion which is in the light tones. they have long fingers and a big full mouth while most of their clothes are professional.

some freckles spread mesmerizingly around their nose and cheekbones, leaving charming memories of their happy childhood. this is them, your future spouse - a true romantic (dreamer) among the rest. perhaps of maybe having an unhappy moments and hurtful past or maybe it's just a sense of security towards others. there's something misleading about them from people, perhaps it's their sense of humor or perhaps it's simply their kindness. but nonetheless, people ask them favors and tend to wish to get to know them better, while trying to avoid and secretly training to become more like them.

2.) positives

protective, tough, knows how to stand on their own ground, charismatic, great decision maker, optimistic, the best planner, have a great childhood memories, not easily to get fooled, sociable, suave, a trustworthy, loves unique people, liberal, knows how to appreciate the richness whether it's big or small, broad-minded, friendly, looking for true love and soulmates, good communicator and consistent.

3.) negatives

feels detached easily when they don't get the attention they want, inner sadness(/sadistic), felt inexperience, likes to stick around probably 24/7 (super clingy), immature, over critical, fanatical, doesn't take care their health most of the time, restricting themselves to achieve more, prefer to live in a rose-colored glasses but may lack of action to do it, careless and maybe someone who is lack of discipline.

4. love/dating history

considering this individual values sincere love. most of the time, they flirt as well as having flings but usually thinking they'd like to get settled down with someone who is right for them. they usually refer and more preoccupied with their own self-improvement and less about their own romantic life right now. they possess the ability of realistic love and person and if they stumble upon the right one, they think their prayer have been answered. they are willing to sacrifice everything for the person of their dreams, their devotion, their exceptionally high lifestyle, along with everything they were entitled to. nevertheless the chronology of every single one of the aforementioned actions are somewhat a sign that you ought to shower your love on them.

5.) career and money

they akin to having to work solo almost all their times, and therefore can be recognized pros. someone who makes greater than the bare minimum amount of salary. they were able to function in any of the areas that follow: animal care, the dental profession, guiding people, medical professionals, or in general, someone who looks after the mental well-being of others, which might involve a psychologist, psychiatrist, or simply any mental healthcare worker, writing and reading, and defending people from harm. they prefer to develop their own money by means of their own hard work and hands.

6.) home life, family and friends

they feel playful around it. from their household life to their companions. they genuinely closed with a manly vitality here, your future companion highlights a gigantic respect for this person maybe they can be a parent of them. and besides i picking up here that they customarily feel an entire person with all of these people, they genuinely appreciate being included by these individuals. they maybe born in a family which is able as of presently fulfill a money related security. their household life and people who included them in their presence are outstandingly optimistic, they can genuinely depend with these people when it comes looking at their personal issues and circumstances since these individuals are unfaltering and reasonable. the only issue is that this person really don't slant toward sharing it with others since they don't want to be called as ''weak''. so they as frequently as conceivable allowed themselves to discussion various negatives alone. they can be an only child person or maybe they belong to a family where children are opposite-s💗x like they conceivably feminine or masculine among their kinfolk. it can be that this person has one companion or they are regularly meet or surrounded by unused people that they may not considered buddies at all. 

a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy ‘‘foolish heart’’ by steve perry.

02

🐰ada says: ‘‘i picked up 2 different energies from this pile, one is masculine and the other one is feminine.’’

1.) physical appearance

1.1 if they were masculine

standing 5'9 tall, this red-brown skinned person has a moody feel about them. their short, brown hair, currently dip-dyed half way with shades of blue or orange, is neatly braided. they have a short goatee/mustache that is a shade browner than their hair. they might even have a messy beard.

they have slender hands, spindly legs, straight hips, and average-sized feet. they have multiple tattoos on their lower legs, neck, right foot, hands, stomach or upper back.

they have big, hazel eyes, a flat-wide nose and smooth cheeks. if they were someone who wears make up, they wear an obvious foundation, light eyeliner, subtle blush and light eyeshadow. they look eternal. they often wear masculine clothes that are mostly light-coloured. they are usually seen wearing a certain style of kerchief.

1.2 if they were feminine

they have a wide shoulders, this brown skinned person has a very worldly feel about them, and they have a distinctive mark on their right leg which causes offense if they are asked about it. their perm, black hair is very short.

they have mysterious, large, light brown eyes, a long face and very thin lips, large hands, small feet and muscular legs. they have a uniquely styled and they are usually seen wearing a traditional jacket.

2.) positives

casual to every people they encounter, generous, charming, free-spirit, sociable, honest, trustworthy, very private person, believe that everyone is not perfect and usually make mistakes, loves to bring joy, knows how to take care of themselves, doesn't use much of social media, they know how to protect their inner peace, independent, know how to debate, luck is on their side always, smart, learn from their mistakes to re-learn and someone who is educated.

3.) negatives

hot-headed sometimes, not really committed about someone and something, way to blunt, cold, obsessive/possessive, hold grudges, maybe someone who has an addction, may like to control other people, may like to party a lot, kinda feel lonely sometimes, sexu💗l?(maybe this one is neutral), may act most of the time being unconcern, heartbreaker, can be bitter about their past, way to logic, they have dark side that won't tell to other people or might be with neither you and most of the time they follow their head rather than their heart.

4.) love/dating history

your future life partner may had one partner some time recently. your future companion is somebody who may be from a long-term commitment or somebody who is separate from their partner before assembly you. they possibly have a child with this individual or arranging to have one with them. there's a genuine strife that has been happen with this individual which can lead their relationship to ended up a toxic way. this individual is giving me, a really overwhelming vitality, exceptionally dull. it also looks like adore is so favorable for them, they get what they needed for a accomplice. but within the conclusion, indeed in spite of the fact that this two individuals chosen to part up, they will attempt to mend each other's to begin with some time recently completely clearing out and moving absent from one and another. individuals may percieve their relationship as culminate and full of cherish but the truth is– it's not, their sentiments for each other's aren't the same as some time recently, the start is as of now gone after this two break, they gonna attempt to work for themselves and attempt to go alone as person to begin with some time recently letting themselves to go for the another relationship.

5.) career and money

self-made. they are somebody who utilized to have different occupations to bolster themselves fiscally. they are skilled and somebody who is able to rapidly get a handle on modern concepts. they can offer sand in desert, that's how great your future life partner or future spouse are. they can be somebody in the field of I.T analyst, medical treatment and field, bodyguard, actor, art trading areas, artist, musician, singer, commerce examiner, judge, business analysis and somebody who works in promoting and craftsmanship exchanging ranges. anything or what kind of work they closes with, it bringing them up into the highlight or spotlight, victory and triumph is made out from their claim hardwork. individuals at their work calling them frequently for help or simply adore how they work. they will be reliable at their work and they aren't narrow minded when it comes to cash or maybe on the off chance that they think there's surfeit almost it, they ordinarily giving or giving it to others. they aren't that much centering on their accounts and money but they know they come to this solidness they accomplishing for themselves for financial. they aren't centering much on their cashes since they appreciate living the minute, after all, this individual accept ‘‘money can't purchase happiness’’.

6.) home life, family and friends

i think this individual doesn't have kin at all and possibly they were only child but they do have numerous companions and connection. they ordinarily amicable individual and likes to form association with individuals. they appreciate their social life and they kinda ruined as well from their guardians when they were a kid but i think it's gone when they gotten to be grown-up. they guardians adore them exceptionally much and they appreciate that kind of cherish they've encountering from their domestic and social life, they think they are the foremost fortunate individual. well, little things makes them upbeat presently not at all like some time recently. they may live in a house which is outlined and great for atleast 3-4 family individuals, with two rooms. this house can be colored in white, gold and green.

a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy ‘‘your still the one’’ by shaina twain.

03

1.) physical appearance

a fine, lived-in face is revealed by a tight pulled ponytail. they have light tones greasy hair. this native, you gonna felt at home with for so long are guarded by bloodshot light earthy colored eyes that are securely anchored in their sockets, an enormous ears, extremely flimsy lips and a straight nose. their eyes and hair are beautifully complemented by a glisten visual, leaving a pleasant memory of their fortunate appearance. despite of their fragile frame, they perceived themselves as everyone else. they exudes an unrestrained aura despite of being medium-tall and svelte. their special striking element is their white, shimmering teeth. they (maybe) have moles completely covering their left thigh, right hand, chest, stomach and right lower arm (anywhere in these areas). they frequently wears opulent, spectacular garments that are generally pastel-hued, golden or dark colors. they typically seen wearing an unmistakable and undeniable shroud.

2.) positives

intuitive, romantic, mysterious, sympathetic, a true leader, tidy, responsible, quite and carefully listening to what the other person sharing to them, goal-oriented, influence others in a good way, sociable, easy to get liked by many, faithful, committed, have a strong inner strength and they usually attract many admirers.

3.) negatives

blunt, argumentative whether they're wrong or right, trouble maker, self doubt, anxious, rude and bossy.

4.) love/dating history

they as often as possible discover themselves in this viewpoint while in case they gonna proceed finding adore or proceed working on their possess objectives like goals. i can say this individual is single since birth and do not really have a dating history but they drop in cherish once however they knew this love is one sided which other individual doesn't cherish them back as the way they do. i also think usually a crush that turned into love, i do have this feeling that they confessed to this individual and this person turned them down since they preferred somebody else. right presently, they attempting their best to discover and adjust between these two angles of their life(love and career) whereas attempting to figuring out what truly their reason on the earth. you might meet them through your social associations.

5.) career and money

this individual is exceptionally decided to attain their objectives to gotten to be what they needed to be, they need to win and succeed in life. truly, they will accomplish much advance in their career life and will have flexibility from obligation and will be able to achieve security and steadiness. i am moreover figuring out that after marriage, the money will bloom and will accomplish more. fair an counsel for you to not spend as well much of all their cash since they worked difficult for it and it is no joke the work they put in for this security to realize. they may be from a family that incorporates a huge trade running or fair basically a family part of a proficient (a big family business). anticipate that individual to be proficient, they may be somebody who works as a chef, specialist, ceo, attorney, property speculator, genuine domain proprietor and fire fighter or firewoman.

6.) home life, family and friends

i knew it. they are from a family that appears proficient, they are ordinarily private and share as it were a number of viewpoints of their life with others. their family claims tons of properties but as i'm getting here, they may be living within the farmland. they live in a reviving house with their family, i too think that they met companions since of schools and with their family associations. they might do sports at school and it's so well known. i too think that their family itself is well-known in their community, as i talk here, perhaps their guardians have a part of associations and engagement with other greater individuals. they sentiments appears distant absent from their family, they might see these individuals scarcely or most exceedingly bad few times in a month. when we talk about their guardians, they are strict, rules and routines individuals.

a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy ‘‘all i ever need’’ by austin mahone.

© thecelestialperiwinkle

[ilguna]

☼ lovestruck, lovesick, lovelorn pt3 (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; it turns out finnick has a lot of pent up thoughts that he’s having a hard time showing properly. at first, it seems like he can’t get enough time with you, then he begins to retreat back to his original demeanor, the one you know the best.

warnings; swearing, death mention, torture and strangulation mention, prostitution mention.

wc; 4.5k

notes; highly requested!!

part one, part two.

--

While District Thirteen seemed to be perfect by the way it was described to you, it has got to be one of the more frustrating places you’ve had the displeasure of visiting. You understand their concept of total equality to ensure fairness, but with it being taken to this extreme—you’re being driven up a wall.

To start, there’s no such thing as individuality, it’s basically a crime to suggest it. And it’s becoming a difficult pill to swallow with each rejection. You come from a Career district, one that’s known for its diversity. As you were growing up, especially in your teenage years, you were taught how to stick out just enough to make heads turn.

You’ve been using it to your advantage for years now, mainly in the Capitol. You tend to tone it down at home, because there’s no reason to stir the pot and draw attention to yourself when you’d like peace and quiet. It’s almost crazy how quick people jump to conclusions when there’s nothing going on.

It’s almost the same here. With how secluded Thirteen is from the rest of the world, all it took was you and the three other victors arriving for conversation to begin. You can’t remember how many times you were stopped your first time out of the hospital by curious minds.

Anyway, in Thirteen, you’re not allowed to wear anything besides the grey jumpsuit they’ve provided. Unless, of course, you’re a patient in their hospital. Then, you get to wear one of their itchy white gowns you also can’t take off. It took hours of begging the nursing staff for them to finally relent on the rule. And the best they could do for you was the jumpsuit. 

At this point, you’d give anything for a simple outfit. As well as a meal that isn’t pre-portioned based on your age, height, weight and muscle mass. There’s been countless times where you’ve asked Greasy Sae to give you a bigger portion on your tray, only to be told that what you have is what you get.

It doesn’t matter who you talk to, everyone refuses to believe you when you tell them you’re still hungry. They’re so set on trying to take away free will, they forget you’re not used to living this way. It’s not normal to have your entire day’s schedule printed on your forearm for you to follow by the hour. It’s weird.

They didn’t have you start with a schedule as soon as you arrived, though. After being rescued from the Capitol alongside Johanna, Annie and Peeta, you were immediately taken into the care of the hospital. Almost a month later, they still haven’t fully released you from their custody.

It might have something to do with your adjusting period, and the fact they’re comparing you to the other three. With Annie, she was able to communicate they didn’t harm her, so she was given the option to leave the hospital first. As for Johanna, she’s the same person she’s always been, the aggression just threw them off, so they kept her for a week longer than they should’ve.

As for Peeta, he’s on the extreme end. Upon seeing Katniss, he tried to kill her, which put the doctors under the impression that not everything is what they seem. That’s why they insisted on keeping Johanna until Haymitch could confirm that’s just her personality.

When it comes to you, the bright lights of Thirteen’s hospital were almost identical to the ones in the Tribute Center. They had you strapped to a chair underneath a big light in the middle of the room. It was shining directly into your eyes, all hours of the day. The only time you got a break from it was when you’d pass out from the lack of oxygen.

It took some convincing, but eventually the doctors got through to you that you are safe in their care. All lights in your room were promptly changed from white to yellow, and then they were either dimmed heavily or off completely from then on. 

As soon as you started showing signs of normalcy, you were given the option to wander the hospital wing. And when they wanted to start implementing you into their way of life, they tried to give you one of those arm stamps. You followed it for… maybe the first three days before Katniss told you it’s a bunch of bullshit.

You didn’t care for it much after that.

Honestly, that might be one of the main reasons why they continue to keep you in the hospital, instead of moving you to one of their pods, like they did with Finnick and Katniss. Apparently, they were both kept here for a while following the arena rescue. Finnick couldn’t function properly from the shock, so he wasn’t in any shape to be making decisions about his care.

The same goes for Katniss, just worse. Haymitch caught you up on her behavior, because you were curious about how she was compared to Finnick. From the sounds of it, the weight of everything that had happened hit her hard. Including the fact Peeta was no longer around for her to fiercely protect, he was in the hands of the Capitol.

You can’t imagine how painful it was for her to get Peeta back, only for him to be unrecognizable. In the few times you’ve talked to him recently—because he doesn’t have a violent reaction when he sees you—you can tell by the way he holds himself that there is something severely broken in him. 

He does not have the same softness he used to. The Capitol was successful in breaking him. 

Peeta seems to be getting better over time, though. He’s not nearly as violent as he used to be when he talks about Katniss now, but it’s still nowhere near positive. It’s just tolerance. Plutarch has been working over calls with scientists in Three on ways they can reverse the hijacking.

Every time you sit in on a meeting in the Control room, he can’t help himself when he makes jabs at you when it comes to Beetee’s death. As if you were the one that missed blocking the knife, not Finnick. And you don’t say that to blame Finnick, you’re just confused on how that was your mistake, when you couldn’t have helped prevent it.

You never feel the need to defend yourself with Plutarch, he’s not worth your energy, you did everything they asked of you. Besides, if you’re sitting in on a meeting, so is Finnick. He’s jumped to your defense plenty of times, he has no issue shutting down Plutarch when he’s making shit up. 

Speaking of Finnick, it’s a weird adjustment with him, too. If you had told yourself last year that Finnick would be defending you to other people, instead of helping them tear you down, you might’ve peed yourself from laughing so hard. Finnick swore to you, and Mags and everyone else who would listen that he would never change his mind about you. It’s funny how things have worked out.

You’re really glad you two have been able to move on from that point. You’ve known Finnick for a long time—ten whole years. If he hadn’t been so set on making you an enemy after your Games, you’re sure that the two of you would’ve been best friends. It makes you curious on how the Capitol would’ve perceived you in that case, would it have made your situation with Snow worse?

Either way, your feelings about Finnick have been the same for a while, even years before the Quarter Quell. You’ll admit there were times where you lost your patience, and dropped down to his level of disrespect. Which definitely didn’t help with the way he decided to treat you, only justified it.

All it took was Mags telling him the truth about how you’ve allowed the Capitol to treat you, something you confessed to her ages ago. You can still remember the look of horror on her face when you got into the details, and the way it smoothed over when you said you’d made an offer to Snow to take more nights for Finnick. 

Mags was truly a sweetheart. Besides Finnick’s family, she was the only other person who was able to see things correctly. And she was incredibly wise when it came to important secrets. When you told her about the Capitol, you said she could do what she wanted with the information. You assumed she would go and tell Finnick when she got the chance, a part of you had hoped it would shake him.

Nothing came of it, of course, until a couple weeks ago when Finnick told you she’d finally told him your secret. You loathed Mags for at least a week, all you could think was, “A little too late, don’t you think?” But as soon as you had a conversion with Haymitch about it, he reminded you that she did it on purpose. 

Mags waited for the perfect time to tell him, and you suspect it had to be on the night of the interviews, before you all went to bed. It would make him hesitate in the arena, see your opinion from a different angle. It made him trust you, despite the years of hatred that had been leading him prior. 

What really sealed it for him was when you risked your life to make sure his family was safe in the Capitol. Finnick’s told you countless times since you started talking to him, that he’ll never be able to make it up to you. You don’t know how many times you’ve told him that you don’t want him to. 

He’s doing enough now. In fact, he’s doing more than you expected from him. At first, it started with the two of you hanging around each other, going around District Thirteen, getting lunch and dinner together. You thought you’d be friends at most, until the two of you got caught in your feelings.

Johanna’s been making fun of you ever since she found out.

She’s currently laying backward on her hospital bed, using the pillows to keep her legs elevated and feet pressed against the wall. The hospital is beginning to drive her crazy, especially the nurses. It doesn’t help that the doctor she was assigned refuses to discharge her. She’s stuck here, like you.

Johanna’s gently rubbing her head, a habit she picked up recently. It’s not that she necessarily misses her hair, she just claims that it helps her think. She hasn’t been talking as much as she first did when you got here. It’s probably because she was able to get all of her thoughts out when she was talking to you while you were unable to respond. Everything she had kept bottled inside was let out over the course of three weeks.

It was actually fairly interesting to get inside of her head. She has good advice when it’s not clouded by anger. You’ve been meaning to ask her some questions, regarding Finnick. You’ve already picked the brains of Katniss and Haymitch, and they gave you answers that weren’t exactly thrilling to hear.

Lately, Finnick hasn’t been acting like the person he’s grown to be in Thirteen. In fact, he’s starting to revert back to how he used to be. The mean, distrustful man that could barely stand your presence in a room. But he’s inconsistent about it. Sometimes he’ll brush you off and make snide remarks, and others he’ll be kind and loving.

Haymitch wasn’t helpful, asking you if you were sure he wasn’t getting closer to Annie, like he’d been before the Quarter Quell. You told him that it couldn’t be possible because Finnick has never had feelings for Annie. It has something to do with the fact that she was too focused on her health to consider a relationship with anybody. Let alone Finnick, who had a number of problems from the Capitol. Not to mention, her parents are strict about her life.

Annie is out of the question.

Katniss had a better idea, mostly because she’s going through a similar situation with Peeta right now.  She suggested that Finnick could be acting like that because he’s confused. He had a wave of euphoria when he saw you were okay, after sacrificing so much for him. He’s been given the opportunity to make things right, but now he’s confused because he’s not used to these types of feelings about you.

This could be why he’s acting out.

The only other person you want to hear from right now is Johanna. Finnick still talks to her as much as she talks to you, which is almost all hours of the day. You’re hoping he’s said something to her recently that might give you an idea of what’s going on in his head. Or even the answer entirely.

“Hey, Johanna?” You ask.

She hums, hand pausing. “(Y/n), if you try talking to me about breaking out of this place again, you better fall through with the plan this time.”

You roll your eyes. “In my defense, I asked Coin to clear us to go outside, but she said that only Katniss and Gale are allowed to go. They hunt.”

“Sure they do. I bet they think of ways to escape, too.”

“It’s Katniss.” You agree, playing with your shoe on the floor. 

Thirteen’s shoes are unsurprisingly uncomfortable. If it were allowed, you’d walk around in your socks. You tried once, and then you got sent back to the hospital to get them. You were escorted the entire way here to make sure you wouldn’t disobey. 

“What’s your question?” Johanna asks.

You press your lips together briefly. “Have you noticed that Finnick’s acting kinda weird lately?”

Johanna doesn’t move for a second. “Weird how?”

“I mean, he’s not acting like he normally does. I think…” Your face screws. “I think he’s going back to how he used to treat me.” You look up to see her. “Has he talked to you about how he feels at all?”

Johanna doesn’t respond, so you take this as her thinking.

“If it helps, Katniss said it could be because he’s confused.” You offer, shrugging. “Haymitch said it was Annie, but that can’t be true, right?”

She looks impressed, rubs her head once or twice, and then turns to look at you. “Of course brainless is smarter than the drunk.”

“Katniss is right?” You ask.

Johanna sighs, “No, she didn’t get it exactly.” She rolls her eyes. “Listen, I told Finnick that he’s being stupid about this, but he didn’t care. He’s caught up in his head.”

“What are you talking about?”

“(Y/n), he’s told me that he doesn’t think he deserves you after the way he treated you. He said that it’s clear that you’re the better person, and he’s nothing but an asshole.” She shakes her head. “He wants to end things with you.”

“What?” You ask, getting to your feet. “When did he tell you this?”

“Last week, I think.” Johanna stares blankly at the ceiling.

“Why didn’t you tell me? We see each other every day.”

“I thought he wasn’t going through with it. If he did, you’d bring it up to me.” She makes a face. “I’ve been trying to tell him to knock it off.”

“Johanna, what did he say exactly?” You sit back down on the stool, trying to calm down.

She sighs, closing her eyes. “He said it had something to do with your generosity. You know, the whole Capitol thing. He’s hearing a lot of good things about you from Haymitch, and I think that’s freaking him out.” She starts to pick at one of the scabs she refuses to let heal. “I think he said that he didn’t understand the way you worked, and now he feels stupid about it.”

“The way I worked?”

“Like your ulterior motives.” She explains. “How you do one thing and it benefits you later on, but it looks bad from the outside. Finnick said that you have a heart of gold and it took you getting tortured for him to feel that way. He feels selfish.”

Your eyes dart to the clock, wondering what time it is. The hospital’s curfew will go into effect in a couple of hours. They don’t like it when their patients are out past a certain time, they have a routine when it comes to gathering vitals.

“I’ve got to go.” You say suddenly, bending down to pull your shoes on.

“Where?” Johanna asks, twisting to sit up.

“I need to talk to Finnick, now.” You tell her, standing up. “I’ll see you later.”

You leave her room before she can stop you. You’re a few steps down the hall when you hear the automatic door swish shut. Finnick could be anywhere in the bunker, but he’s been hanging out in the Control Room a lot recently.

You go there first. Down the hospital hall, up six floors on the elevator, down a muggy hallway and up to the door. When you knock, no one answers. It isn’t until you’re pounding on the door, does it swing open, to a very irritated President Coin.

“Can I help you, miss (L/n)?” She asks, eyebrows turn down. “We’re in the middle of a meeting.”

“Is Finnick inside?” You ask. “It’s urgent.”

“No, I have not seen him. Try Heavensbee.” She goes to swing the door shut.

You place your foot in the crack before she can shut it entirely, and regret it almost instantly from how hard she was going to slam the door. Coin opens the door wider, lips pressed together.

“Where would I find him?” You ask.

“The basement. He was working in the weapons shop.”

She then kicks your foot out of the way, pulling the door shut. You roll your eyes at her behavior, she hasn’t been the kindest person to you since you arrived. You think Plutarch’s convinced her it’s your fault Beetee’s dead. One day you’ll give him a piece of your mind, but today won’t be it.

You leave the hallway, finding the elevator again. It’s old, which means it moves slowly. It takes almost fifteen minutes for it to go all the way down to the basement, because of the other people getting on and off. 

By the time you get there, Plutarch’s locking the doors. “Have you seen Finnick?”

He looks over his shoulder to see it’s you, and then goes back to fixing the lock. “I haven’t. I’ve been on a call with a scientist for the past hour working on weapon plans because we don’t have any experts here.”

You suck in a breath, reminding yourself not to react. “Do you have any idea who might’ve seen him? It’s important.”

“Did you try Haymitch?” He suggests lamely.

“Where would he be?” 

“The rehabilitation center. Where else?” He shakes his head.

You don’t say anything back to him, because all responses would be rude. You leave him there, heading back to the elevator. By the time you get it programmed for the rehab center, Plutarch is in sight. He holds out his hand to tell you to stop, but you press the button while looking away, pretending as if you didn’t see him. 

Maybe he should be nicer to you.

The rehab center is closer, and their curfew is stricter. If Finnick is here, then he’s only in the visiting area. It’s a shame that Haymitch is still required to stay here instead of a pod, but he really pissed off Coin. He was joking about smuggling alcohol from Greasy Sae, and she was having none of it.

When the elevator stops, you program it to go up a few floors before being allowed to go back down. Anything you can do to inconvenience Plutarch. When you get inside of the center, they have you sign a sheet, and then they put you in the waiting room while they call out the person. As soon as they have you sit down, you know Finnick isn’t here, either, because they would’ve just directed you to the visiting area.

Haymitch comes out, as messy looking as ever, with a beanie pulled to his eyebrows. “Hey, kid. Curfew’s soon.”

“I know. Hey, has Finnick been here?”

He shakes his head. “Peeta’s a good guess. Finnick’s been trying to do exposure therapy.”

“At the hospital?” You ask. “I would’ve seen him.”

Haymitch blows air out from his cheeks. “Katniss?”

“That’s a better idea.” You nod, “I should’ve tried her first instead of Coin. I’m sorry I can’t stay, the hospital’s curfew is in an hour.”

Haymitch waves his hand. “Good luck.”

You wave, leaving out the waiting room door. The lady at the office bids you a goodnight, and then promptly shuts off the office lights. There’s a click that fills the air from the locking system, making you let out a quiet laugh. What a passive-aggressive way to tell you that you were overstaying your welcome. 

On the elevator again, you take it up to where Katniss’s pod should be with her family. Just her, her mom, Primrose and their cat. When you get there, you knock on the door. It’s only a second before Katniss’s mother opens it with a warm smile. 

“Oh, hello (Y/n).”

“Hi.” You smile, “Is Katniss here?”

“No, I believe she’s down in the cafeteria with Gale and Finnick.” 

You hum, eyebrows drawing together. “Thank you.” You begin to back away. “Have a good night.”

“Is there a message you’d like to leave?”

“No, I’m actually looking for Finnick.” You shrug. 

She nods. “Have a good night.”

The door shuts, you turn around and get back to the elevator, where you’re forced to wait twenty minutes. The clock on the wall isn’t helping the rising anxiety in your stomach, you’ve only got enough time to check the cafeteria before you have to get back to the hospital. He better be down there. 

You guess you could try again tomorrow, but you want to have a conversation tonight. The longer you wait, the more it settles into his head. What if he spends the entire day dodging you?

The elevator arrives full of residents trying to get back home. You step on, and being the only one inside, you’re able to head straight down without any disruptions. It’s a quick trip down, but you have to go down the hallway to even get to the cafeteria. 

You push the swinging door open with your hip. The room is illuminated by the few tv’s on the pillars, they’re stuck on the Capitol logo. In the daytime, Thirteen usually will let the Capitol broadcasts play. The people here see them as a comedy.

Sure enough, Katniss and Gale are inside, and they turn at the sound of the door. There is no Finnick in sight, but that doesn’t mean he’s not nearby. 

“Hey, (Y/n).” Katniss adjusts her body to turn halfway so she doesn’t have to crane her neck. “Looking for Finnick?”

“Yes, actually.” You nod. “Have you seen him recently?”

“He just left and took the stairs up to the hospital to talk to Johanna before the curfew set.” 

Your face twists. “Johanna?”

“If you take the elevator, you might be able to catch him.” She says.

“Right.” You agree, “Sorry for interrupting.”

Gale opens his mouth, Katniss speaks first. “It wasn’t even important. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.” You wave, leaving the doorway.

You jog back down the hall to get to the elevator quicker. As soon as you press the button, the doors peel apart, allowing you to get inside. You’re briefly hopeful this trip won’t take longer than a minute, except you run into the same problem as earlier, with people stepping on with every passing floor.

By the time you get to the hospital, it’s past curfew. Finnick always leaves on time.

A wild goose chase for nothing. It’s like Finnick knew you were coming, so he avoided you at all costs. You don’t want to go back to how things used to be between you two. It was painful, knowing there was nothing you could do to fix it. You just had to let it go, like you will now. Except, you’re stuck in this stupid bunker with him, meaning you’ll never get away. 

Tears appear in your eyes. You suck in a breath, holding it, tilting your head back to force the tears back to where they came. It doesn’t work, they slide down the sides of your eyes, traveling down your cheeks.

You let out the breath, and take in a shaky one. It isn’t long before the crying starts. You have to stop in the hallway before you enter the hospital wing, because if they see you upset, they’re going to put you on medical lockdown. This thought alone increases the hysteria.

You slide down the concrete wall, burying your face in your hands while you cry. Ten years you’ve waited just to be his friend, and he’s going to take it all away on the thought he’s not a good person? When it’s clearly not true? He’s sacrificed just as much as you have to get here.

You’ve told him this. Why won’t he listen?

“(Y/n)?” You whip your head up to see Finnick, a frown on his face. “Oh, honey.”

“You—” The word is strangled as another sob overcomes you at the sight of him, finally.

Finnick rushes over, coming to a crouch in front of you. You jerk forward, throwing your arms around him for a hug, squeezing him tightly. Finnick pulls you closer, placing a hand on the back of your head to keep your face in his chest.

“I’m so sorry.” He murmurs, shushing you gently. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not!” You protest through your tears. “You want to leave me!”

He doesn’t say anything, his grip only tightens.

“Finnick, I don’t care. I don’t care that you were mean to me in the past, because it didn’t bother me. I wouldn’t be talking to you if I didn’t want to be with you. How could you have known better if no one told you? It’s not your fault.”

“I should’ve seen the signs. If I had gotten to know you better, maybe I would’ve realized. I was so mean to you.”

“We were mean to each other.” You tell him, playing with his hair. “We did good things on our own time. You’re a good person, Finnick. You’re not bad for what’s happened between us in the past.”

You push him away from you to see his face, finding tears in his own eyes. You cup each side of his face, pulling him to your lips. Finnick’s hand slides its way to the back of your neck, holding you against him for a few seconds longer.

When you pull back, you wipe a tear from beneath his eye. “Let’s just focus on us right now, okay?”

“Okay.”

[woominutes]

ko kyungjun as a boyfriend

he is THE hates everyone but you bf

bad boy with a soft spot for you kinda trope

just replace bad boy with bully

he doesn't go out of his way for anyone except you

princess treatment? you got it.

he'd make jinha and seungbin do the work when they are around lol

his love languages are;

acts of service

holding doors for you, buying you snacks, walking you home, helping you the week before and during your period. the things he does for you can erase any doubts that may arise in your head about his feelings for you.

he might hold back sometimes to not appear as a simp and maintain his reputation as the tough bully though.

physical touch

always has his hands on you in a way, mostly around the waist or shoulders. it is a sign of affection but also ownership as he wants to make your relationship known to other boys so they don't even dare to make a move.

also having you on his lap, he loves that. especially during recess at school, you can be found sitting on him while he zones out or talks with jinha and seungbin.

and quality time

asking you to hang out after school, inviting you to his place to chill, tagging along when you have errands to run if he is in the mood for it.

this guy literally walks away from people and situations when he doesn't care to be bothered so spending his time on/with someone definitely means something.

now about gift giving

i don't think he'd put a lot of thought into gifts. on specific occasions like anniversaries or trying to impress you, yes, but nothing too fancy otherwise.

however, you'd get little things; like a flower from a random garden he passed by from.

in my eyes, he's a casual sharer in a relationship

what is his is yours, his basketball sneakers being the only exception. food, clothes, his bed, his heart, everything.

you like his jacket? you'll share it back and forth, one week his and two weeks yours. you like his hoodie? take it. you like his shirt? wear it (but bring it back after a month and borrow another). you like his earrings? you can wear the right one and he'll wear the left one.

words of affirmation is not something he is good at

it's hard for him to express himself. he can throw a few playful sweet words here and there but rarely gets serious. he has his moments, especially after intimate situations with intense feelings, but they're few.

rarely says "i love you", he shows it instead.

he'd be the one to secretly need words of affirmation despite denying it

not too much praise though, he'll get cocky

bro felt love for the first time and his world changed #canon

such a show-off, especially with basketball

"this is for you" *misses the shot*

once threw the ball in hyunho's face because you were looking at the poor boy for too long and kyungjun got jealous

cue nahee running to help hyunho with his bloody nose

he eliminates your worries when he can

(we all know how I'm talking about)

tending to his wounds whenever he gets injured

insecure hence extreme jealousy

someone looks at you for too long? glares at them. someone talks to you? either waves them off or mocks them when they leave. someone confesses to you? they get threats as a warning. someone touches you? disappeared from the face of earth.

i could actually see him wanting to kill other boys out of jealousy but he'll hold himself back by giving them a light beating instead.

"me? jealous? ha! I'm better than that asshole"

yeah yeah sure

bro is so aggressive

you'd most likely have to witness a lot of outbursts of anger

but he apologises after, usually

intended empty words or not, you'll witness his wrath again because that is his reaction to almost everything that inconveniences him

he's throwing things and punching walls

BUT NEVER EVER hits you

even if he unconsciously shoves you, he regrets it immediately

many, mostly minor, arguments because of misunderstandings and lack of communication

he is not very confrontational when it comes to a relationship, either because he doesn't want to appear vulnerable and clingy or he doesn't know how to express himself and figure out why he is feeling the way he does.

when his hidden feelings of insecurity and discomfort bubble up, it's hell for the both of you. screaming, crying, him acting like he doesn't care to protect himself.

and his impulsivity makes it harder to make up sometimes

he might say hurtful things out of anger that will keep you away from him for a while but he rarely actually means them, it's just his defense and illusion of security.

possessive and slightly controlling

he cares too much when he considers his relationship serious and it's not just him fooling around.

unfortunately, he'll use manipulation when he wants something badly or to convince you of something. if you call him out, he'll drop the act and most likely get annoyed.

he needs a lot of work when it comes to the negative aspects of his personality for a healthy relationship to exist

he is not too much of a bad guy, he just has issues

and needs therapy

passionate makeout sessions

those big palms and veiny hands know how to grip. he's the dominant one and he won't have it any other way, wanting to have power and control over the pace and movements.

high libido, that's all i'm apparently allowed to say :P

learns and remembers a lot about you

especially your habits and quirks

if you smoke too;

he'll share his cigarettes with you

and steal a couple of yours when he is out of his

if you hate smoking;

LIKE LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE AROUND SMOKERS

he'll make an effort to not smoke when you are present

brushes his teeth or eats a piece of gum before he kisses you if he meets you after smoking <3

can't have you thinking he is gross smh

if you're short;

he definitely teases you about your height

picks you up just for fun or carries you around like you weigh nothing

ties your shoelaces for you

playfully insulting each other and bantering all the time to show affection

you're the only one he actually listens to <3

you shove him or nudge him when he is being too mean to other people or crossing a line

still goes wild when you're not around

you are his lockscreen <3

not too much of a talkative texter

sort written replies but long voice messsages

oml that voice

sends you pics of himself all the time, expecting compliments and praise

shirtless mirror pics focusing on his abs? all yours. manspreading pictures? you got them. selfies in which he tries to appear tough but his cheeks and soft features make him look like the cutest boy you've ever seen? yep.

cares a lot about how you view him so he takes a lot of time to make sure he picks the right pics to send you.

let's not fool ourselves, he knows you love those muscles and he purposely puts them on display for you

cuddles with kyungjun are warm and tight, becoming one under a blanket

more of a motorcycle guy

buys you your own helmet <3

not one for fancy dates, maybe dinner here and there, but prefers casual hangouts

movie nights at his house, late night walks and rides, chilling at a convenience store after school.

just peaceful private moments.

pretends to not like cheesy couple things, such as matching outfits or pajamas, but they secretly warm his heart

he takes your gifts very seriously; wears them to please you or carries them around with him

get him a neck pillow

you have him wrapped around your finger no matter how much he denies it

jinha has gotten a good smack in the back of his head for voicing that fact multiple times

© to @woominutes on tumblr; do not repost or steal

[ddarker-dreams]

do you have any more yan golden girl thoughts you can share 🤲 i am devouring them every single time

ohhh boy ohhhhh man.... it really is something... here are some yan branch ideas (from their high school years).

(reader here is described as fem, satoru and suguru are gaslit gatekeep girlboss-ing their way into making you their girlfriend)

for starters, satoru and suguru handle the kaizu incident much worse. what little tact they have in the main storyline is gone lol. this has short-term success and long-term consequences. rather than giving you the time to recover and reflect, suguru sneakily introduces guilt. he stresses that you should've told them that you can't perform cursed technique: null without hurting yourself in the process. had they known, they would've found another way.

then there's satoru. he just starts coming along on your assignments. if you get annoyed and tell him to quit following you, he seemingly concedes. that is, until every time you arrive at your assignment's destination, you find him lounging around, having already exorcised the curse. while you're recovering from his audacity, he's making dinner plans, brochure in hand. he's pointing at a famous local restaurant instead of acknowledging your frustration.

"you took forever to get here," he'll lament with a yawn. "i was so bored. ready to ditch this place?"

they safeguard you from any danger at the cost of eroding your relationship.

you came here to learn, to grow in strength and potential. how can you do that under these circumstances? suguru interferes behind the scene so you’re given less assignments, satoru tags along uninvited for the few you manage to land. it’s frustrating and demotivating. trying to get them to see reason is akin to arguing with a brick will. satoru waves off your frustrations whereas suguru listens. in a way, this is almost worse. suguru gives the false impression that you might be changing his mind. he’ll nod along as you vent, his countenance solemn and his voice soft. he’ll validate your smaller plights while twisting your perspective on the most pressing issues. you come away from the interactions unsure of what to feel.

are you making a big deal of things? is satoru just expressing concern in his weird why? maybe they could be handling it better, but it isn’t like their intentions are malicious, you did almost die in front of them… etc etc. the seeds of self-doubt blossom until they’ve made your mind a garden.

then there’s the whole ‘you're our girlfriend now’ bit that deserves mention. satoru kicked it off and suguru went with it. you didn’t think much of it at first, especially since they both conveniently forgot to fill you in on this major development. after showering, you’ll leave the restroom to find satoru sitting on your bed in his slacks, acting like it’s the most normal thing. they stand on either side of you when you’re traveling by train. suguru’s hand finds yours when navigating busy crowds, his grip gentle while also communicating he won’t let you slip away.

you only find out that you've apparently been their girlfriend for months when satoru complains about the lack of a first kiss. when you understandably express your confusion, he coos over how you're 'acting shy.' suguru isn't much help. he opts for the gaslight route.

"you forgot the evening where we...?" he'll begin, visibly crestfallen. "but i thought... ah, never mind... no, it's nothing, really..."

(the 'evening' in question does not exist, he's trying to confuse you so you're more willing to accept this bombshell).