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user-needs-new-hyperfixation · 11 months ago

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Hello, can I ask what do you mean "in canon it's impossible for Sherlock to settle down with a woman"? Like, as a fan of Holmes and always read the books since middle school, I'm kinda confuse here, I don't mean anything negative. Sorry, do you think Poirot (from Agatha Christie) is also queer?

Maybe because I grew up with very religious mother and lived in anti-LGBTQ country, I'm kinda slow in picking up subtext. Like until now I'm still kinda confuse with my friend who have ships from any fandoms (but I still love to hear and read her headcanons or fics about those characters)....

I really agree with you, I've seen many Holmes' adaptations (cartoon, tv series, manga) but Yuumori is clearly the closest to Doyle's works. Do you think the mangaka also love to read Holmes' books?

Story time! (Welcome to "Hyper answers asks like an old lady going on an hour long barely-on-topic tangent at the slightest prompting.)

I totally get where you're coming from, I was raised in like...knockoff Southern Baptist churches. Growing up, homosexuality was presented to me as a sexual perversion incapable of involving real love. It's kind of silly, but it's true: a ship was a big part of changing that for me. I read Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle as a teenager, and Kurogane and Fai had something that was inescapably romantic and beautiful but never strictly sexual (tho the potential is certainly there). Between that and an online community of LGBTQ+ adults who were incredibly patient and kind towards me even when I was suuuuper ignorant, I started to open up towards queer relationships as...well, just relationships. Relationships that can encompass sex and also encompass love and friendship and communication and partnership and all those other things I'd been taught were exclusive to monogamous straight people. And then, even as terrified as I was, I was eventually able to face the fact that I'd always had crushes on girls just as often as crushes on guys. So yeah, there's a reason Kurofai is my ship of all ships, the actual One True Pairing for me. Because it cracked open a door just enough that I could slowly lever it open the rest of the way. There seem to be quite a lot of anecdotes like this: women enjoying BL/mlm ships is often seen as fetishy (which can certainly be part of it) but for some reason I can't fully articulate it also seems to sometimes be a means for girls and women to explore their own not-straightness.

ANYWAY. SHERLOCK HOLMES. Tbh I'm not gonna go too in-depth because I would bet good money that there are a bunch of scholarly articles on Holmes' queerness. People have probably done their doctorate theses on this! Much smarter and more well-read folks than I have already covered the topic. For me, it really boils down to: he never outright expresses sexual or romantic interest in anyone (we must resist the urge to assume his respect for Irene Adler is romantic just because he is a man and she is a woman). He's almost certainly on the asexual spectrum. But when he does exhibit symptoms one might associate with romantic and/or sexual interest (particularly romantic, imo), it's always towards men (usually Watson, of course). For example, notable flirt John Watson saying that Holmes blushes at his compliments the way a girl does is...suggestive.

The whole thing is complicated by Watson being (in my opinion at least) an unreliable and sometimes downright petty narrator. He keeps going on spiels about Holmes being cold and heartless, only to turn around and describe him greeting his friends warmly and being emotionally moved by music and baby-talking puppies and charming old ladies. It makes Watson sometimes come across as one of those allo people who are so unable to conceive of a life without romantic and/or sexual desire that they start dehumanizing those who don't experience it. Alternatively and maybe more charitably, he just has a big ol' crush on Holmes, is understandably alarmed by it given the time period, and gets bitchy and defensive when he feels it might not be reciprocated.

But ultimately...do I think Arthur Conan Doyle sat down at a desk in the late 19th century/early 20th century and was like "I am going to write some ace queer representation for the tumblr girlies (gn)"? Obviously not. 😅 I do think he might have set out to create a character who very deliberately did not need to have the otherwise almost obligatory straight romantic side-plot. Holmes is never in any way set up as having a life headed towards marriage and children, in spite of how typical that was for the time. The companionship he does express a need and desire for comes in the form of another man. He's "lost without [his] Boswell." He sneakily buys Watson's practice out from under him so he'll be free to move back in and go on more adventures with him. He threatens violence when Watson is hurt. Etc etc. I think it's very fair to interpret it all through a queer lens, the quibble would be more in whether that queerness ever manifests sexually.

I definitely think the Yuumori creators have not only read ACD but also other fiction based on the stories, possibly even including some very old pastiches like this one. I love how seemingly nerdy they are about it haha! The series is full of easter eggs and callouts to other Holmesian works.

As for Poirot, I know very little about the character beyond a few episodes of the show I watched as a young'un, but that is not the mustache of a straight man (I'm joking I'm joking I have absolutely no opinion on that one! 🤣)

Thanks for the ask, and for actually reading this ramble if you got this far! 😅

#acd holmes #acd canon #yuukuko no moriarty #kurofai #rambling #asks

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itsavgbltpta · 8 months ago

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Should You Watch Undead Murder Farce?

(Japanese title: Undead Girl Murder Farce)

A Brief Summary

In an alternate universe where demons and monsters still exist, one half-oni is living out his days in a fight club, just waiting to die. That is, until a genius detective manages to catch his eye. With promises of extending his life in an exchange to end her immortal one, the two pair up - along with the detective’s maid who happens to be handy with a rifle. The trio solves some mysteries in Japan before going global, searching for the man who wronged them both and meeting some familiar literary figures along the way.

With so many scheming people together - friend and foe - it’s a battle of who can out-think and out-detective each other in order to win the day.

So, should you watch the anime?

Yes!

To be fair, I have a predilection for media (shows, books, whatever) where geniuses keep trying to out-do each other. I love a person with a plan that’s thinking 30 steps ahead in 5D chess. And this show is abundant with that character type. I also like it when a show can keep me on my toes. Undead Murder Farce kept up a lot of mystery throughout, which also makes it kind of hard to talk about in fear of spoiling things.

The season is made up of several arcs, each 2-3 episode arc involving a specific mystery to be solved. There is also a general mystery tying things together and giving reasons for our characters to come together. Our detective trio often clashes with an organization made up of supernatural beings, sometime works alongside vigilantes, and tend to end up meeting a whole lot of interesting folk.

I was a bit skeptical when the show made a change from the Japanese setting to Merry Olde England, and also wary for our detective hero party to suddenly be in the realm of probably the most well known detective in all fiction, but this show managed to pull it off. Sherlock didn’t steal the show. Lupin may have. ;)

One of my least favorite characters in Undead Murder Farce is the maid body-guard. She didn’t seem to have much point in the plot-line besides being sullen and getting into certain… situations… but you know what, I bet there are people who really like her and those situations, so I’m not upset, lol.

The animation is really nice and action sequences flow well. I am a fan of the character design so that gets a win from me, but I know that’s always a subjective thing. But if you like any of the faces you see in the image for this article, then you’ll be good to go.

I have to mention the absolute banger of an OP this anime has as well. It gave me big K-Pop vibes (in a good way). I did a little digging and the group that performs the OP is part of the K-Pop world, so I guess that vibe makes sense. It’s a song I can easily recall even half a year later (which is kind of a rarity with the amount of anime I watch), and it sparked joy every week.

For me, characters are a big part of what makes me enjoy a story, so what kind of characters does Undead Murder Farce have jam-packed within each mystery-solving episode?

A slightly perverted and laid-back Rakugo-styled half-oni experiment that can put up a mean fight with a smile always on his face (Tsugaru).

An immortal genius looking for someone to end said immortality - oh and also looking for her body as she’s currently just a very intelligent head in a cage (Aya Rindou).

A military-esque maid who can keep up with the monsters around her, though she also somehow ends up in rather sapphic situations (Shizuku).

A gentleman thief that’s always a few steps ahead of his detective opponents and tends to add a dramatic flourish to all he does (Arsene Lupin).

The big detective himself, full of snark and confident that he is the alpha detective in Europe, despite the supernatural competition (Sherlock Holmes).

The epitome of a polished lady who isn’t afraid to show off her assets and also sink her teeth - quite literally - into anyone who gets in her way (Carmilla).

Plus a whole heaping of other figures from literature and supernatural origins, including the mother-fucking Phantom of the Opera. Just because.

I skipped on a few key spoiler characters as this anime is all about mystery, and who am I to give it away?

Where does it rate on my personal scale?

S: I will buy it at full price (unless it’s released by Aniplex USA, because fuck their pricing).

->A: I will buy it on sale sometime down the line.

B: I had fun watching it, but don’t need to own it.

C: It’s not my cup of tea, but wasn’t awful.

D: Dropped it.

X: Finished it out of spite, but did not enjoy it.

Undead Murder Farce was a lot of fun to watch, so it gets an A ranking from me. It was probably my favorite anime of the summer 2023 season, and the show I most looked forward to watching every week. While some mysteries were solved in the 12 episodes that aired, we’re still missing a resolution for the over-arching plot lines. I very much hope we get a season 2!

#anime #anime review #itsavgbltpta #should you watch the anime #undead murder farce #undead girl murder farce

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icescrabblerjerky · 1 year ago

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twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @senseandaccountability THANK YOU!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 200 exactly! I did not know this until I just went and checked.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,222,468 - I too have been at it for a long time, about fifteen years (and there is more of it on other sites lol)

3. What fandoms do you write for? Rusty Quill Gaming, Baldur's Gate 3, SWTOR (and other star wars related fandoms), Dragon Age, The Magnus Archives, Final Fantasy XIV, uh... and lots of little one offs for books and tiny podcast fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Mbmbam Archives (mbmbam/magnus crossover) with 949 (this still makes me laugh so much)

Seven Days (RQGaming, Zolf/Oscar) at 458

Sex, Death and Plants or: Four Seasons Total Landscaping (RQGaming AU, Zolf/Oscar/Grizzop) at 425

Willing to Wait for It (RQGaming, genfic) at 394

and

A Little Help (RQGaming, again Zoscar) at 384

Rusty Quill Gaming folks are super super supportive and awesome and I'm forever grateful they went on my dumb journeys with these characters with me.

5. Do you respond to comments? Always! I hope! I know sometimes I miss them when I'm away from my computer but they are definitely always read.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Mmmm, angsty-est?? I'm not one really for angsty endings, although I like angst in all the other bits. Probably the fic I wrote where Zolf is mourning Oscar. I honestly can't remember what it was called.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Sex Death and Plants ends in a massive polycule and the take down of a fascist asshole billionaire so I think it deffo qualifies as the happiest of my endings :D.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm LOL. Never directly. I have reports of people who dislike what I write but they never tell me to my face for some reason, it always gets around to me, usually about two years later, on the underground.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do. I love writing smut. I don't write very graphic smut as a general rule but most of my fics will have one or two scenes in it and I've done a couple of kinktobers. Love it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've got a couple. One Dragon Age/Lucifer crossover that I wrote specifically for a friend. One aborted Firefly/Dragon Age Crossover that lives on FF.net I think if that site hasn't destroyed itself.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I've had enquiries about translating some into Russian but I've never actually seen if they followed through.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! Quite a few actually. Some of them haven't been published :D.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I should say Zoscar. So I will. I love them your honour.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Gods I got a comment on my old Rebels fic "Talking to Strangers" and I read it again and went "this shit's good I should finish it" but that would involve me actually watching the rest of Rebels and I don't really watch TV any more and it just ends up being too hard.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and character voices, I think - at least for fic. I have a lot of fun trying to make what characters say feel like it could be lifted directly from the source material but isn't.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Description. Fucken' hate it. I'll do it but I'll moan about it for every single sentence.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Very risky IMO and not something I'll do any more although I used to when I first started out. These days I'll write it in English but indicate which language it should be in in other ways.

19. First fandom you wrote for? If we wanna get technical I wrote my first fanfic when I was about ten years old. It was Sherlock Holmes fanfiction (the stories, not the series, since the series didn't come out for another twenty five years lol). Self insert time travel fic. I may still have it somewhere lol.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? I love all my fanfictions equally (I really don't care for Mbmbam Archives). No that was a joke, I really do love all of them, my favourite tends to be the one I'm writing at the present moment. That said honourable mention should go to The Nature of Crystal (G'raha/WOL smut) because that one just arrived fully formed in my head one morning and tickled me.

I'll tag @feralkwe, @wishflower4, @zombolouge @makesometime and anyone else who would like to do it!

#20 questions for fic writers #fic writer meme

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illuminopseudonymous · 27 days ago

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From Calliope on Cohost

Folks in the thread know this obviously, but as a comment, yeah, this is basically the point of the book. Though, I'd say it's not Gnosticism as much as just, you know, the monotheist God. There's a reason the book begins by quoting Paradise Lost.

Less glibly, there are a lot of different ways to read Victor's guilt -- and in fact this is why I roll my eyes at the people who make fun of "well Frankenstein is the doctor's name." It is important, for a few reasons. The first is that the Creature doesn't have a name. Like, that's important. Second, it's the Creature -- the book itself never calls him a monster, very carefully avoiding loaded words for him. He has the chance to interrogate his creator and find that creator lacking.

You see similar vibes in Moby-Dick; like the first few passages where Ishmael says God is a poor craftsman because his creation -- the human body -- fails so often.

Anyway, reading Victor's guilt. I taught Frankenstein for several years, and I usually did three different broad readings. There are obviously more.

The first was religious, as above: Victor is a God, a creator of life. I wish I'd known more about Agrippa at the time, because now that I do I'd like to be able to teach more on how it's Agrippa that inspires Victor, and how it's as much alchemy as necromancy that he performs. But in general, it's Paradise Lost, a poem the Romantics loved very much: Lucifer and Adam both crying out that they did not ask to be born, nor to be saddled with unreachable responsibilities.

The second reading is feminist: Victor is a parent, and the Creature his child, except Victor is the only parent, which means he must be read as feminine -- and the book codes him in this way often. This is important because now we can read the book as a portrait of post-partum depression: Victor is sick and senseless after the Creature's birth, and is freaked out by the sight of his creation in a way similar to how many people who give birth can feel ambivalent feelings towards their new child as the depression sets in. We have these terms now, and they didn't then, but Mary Shelley may have had the experience for herself, and given the statistics, she probably knew someone who did.

This reading is even more complex because while Victor is still guilty, he's understandable: he's sick, hallucinating, half-starved; when he reacts to the Creature and accidentally pushes it away, he doesn't know what he's doing, really. However, after that one moment we can sympathize with, we see Victor close up shop and go home as though nothing happened -- as though he isn't now responsible for a life. And, of course, he's alone. There's no support structure to help him, so in that way, the world around Victor is equally culpable (which we see as it fails to aid the Creature in similar ways).

The final reading is queer: if Victor is coded as feminine at times, given the book's date of composition, that means we can read him as queer, not necessarily (or not singly) as a stand-in for women (1818 gender binaries, not only women have babies, so on). This is a very strong contender, because Victor is 100% in love with his best dude friend, Henry Clerval.

You know all the sorta kidding but not really readings of the second Downey Sherlock Holmes, that say Holmes and Watson are going on honeymoon and Holmes literally throws the woman out the window to take her place? Yeah, so Victor does that.

He's been "in love with" Elizabeth, a young woman his family took in, since he was a child. I mean, they were the same age, she wasn't a young woman when he was a child. Anyway, they're engaged, and he's been putting the wedding off to, first, make the Creature, and second, to recover. But when the time comes, he declares it's time to get married, takes a deep breath, and... travels Europe with Henry (who, I should note, took care of Victor when he was convalescing). This reads very easily as a man who thinks he "ought" to be straight but who isn't, who in all the good faith he can muster keeps trying to marry a woman he genuinely does love -- just not like that.

This becomes important to the Creature's story in two ways. First, Victor tells Walton that he chose each body part of the Creature with care, and that each part was perfect, beautiful and perfect. The Creature asks for a wife, so they can go off together away from humans and start a family. This means, and I don't want to put to fine a point on it, that the Creature can fuck, which means Victor carefully and lovingly chose a penis to put on the Creature, one he felt was beautiful and perfect.

Secondly, let's loop back to the Creature's request: a wife. Victor agrees, actually, and there's a grimly comical note where he travels Europe with Henry while carrying around a suitcase full of body parts he's taken from graveyards, which somehow never rot. He builds the lady Creature, she's finished, but in the mysterious process he uses to vivify her, to give her life, he stops, and in an excess of disgust he tears the body limb from limb and swears he'll never do it.

I don't want to expand this already-long post further with references, but Kristeva's theory of abjectness is important here, that feeling of having drunk rotten milk, that the horror is both external and internal. Victor's visceral disgust can't be adequately explained by his rational statements -- which mostly boil down to his belief the Creature is evil and that allowing him to propagate would end humanity. We can't believe that because those thoughts do not cause that disgust. That level of bodily hatred emerges from somewhere else.

This drifts us even further from Victor as the villain, because, now, we can hardly blame Victor for being closeted and irrational when confronted with the things that disgust him that he believes he must accept. But, always, underpinning everything, is the simple fact that Victor made a life and then abandoned it.

The thing is that there's not really any villain in Frankenstein. Victor is as much a victim as the Creature, but -- and this is important -- Victor has the agency that the Creature lacks, because he, Victor, is responsible for both the Creature's very existence and his own abject status. Remember he was basically forcing himself into marrying a woman he grew up with; he felt like he was marrying his sister.

And always remember, too, that this story is filtered, several times: Victor is recounting it all to Walton, a jackass leading an expedition to the North Pole who got his ship stuck almost immediately, and who is very likely going to die. The book is actually Walton's letters to his sister. Walton and Victor both mention feeling a sense of kinship, one to the other -- and unlike, say, finding the Northwest Passage or circumnavigating the globe, there's not a lot of conceivable use to going to the North Pole. Especially as Walton isn't a scientist, he's just a rich goober. He wants to be the first there so he can say he's the first there.

We're supposed to roll our eyes at Walton, see him get closer to Victor, and realize these two are fools. And then, hopefully, we remember that Walton dragged an entire ship's crew out into this ice to die, just as Victor ruined his own life, Elizabeth's life, and the Creature's.

In sympathizing more with Victor, we actually come to dislike him more. He is no longer a villain but a fool, doing things because he can, and failing entirely to think of the consequences.

And that's why, to me at least, it's important to differentiate the book's dark mirror held up to Christianity from what we know of Gnosticism: the demiurgos is often cast as a villain, but with there being no discernible reason for existence itself, the buck must be passed further on. According to the book, God, the monotheistic One, itself, is a fool leading innocent people, Creatures and sailors, into a lonely death in a field of ice.

I don't actually think Shelley believed that, at least not when she first wrote the book. She may very well have indulged in those thoughts later, as her husband and children all died one by one, and the 1837 edition of Frankenstein is notable for how the revisions make things more dire, more depressing, and more inevitable. The 1818 edition hinges more on accident, offering the possibility of better outcomes. But the book itself, as a gothic novel, unsettles exactly insofar as it questions one of the core beliefs of cultural monotheism: God is good, and God made the world, and the world is therefore good. Perhaps it's neither good nor bad, but a Creature made in a moment with no thought for anything beyond wondering whether it's possible.

#frankenstein #literature #literary analysis #character analysis #backing up my likes from a dead site

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barbasbodaciousbeard · 4 years ago

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Love you to the Moon and to Saturn

Summary: Caring is not an advantage. To Mycroft, this was a belief he found through the calculated logic that ruled his life. If was analytical and detached and certainly had nothing to do with Sherlock or the childhood neighbor.

A/N: In a break from my regularly scheduled SVU writing, here’s a four part Folklore inspired Mycroft Holmes thing.

Please, picture me in the weeds Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously Any time I wanted

“Mycroft, promise you’ll remember me here,” Ruth whispered, laying on the blanket beside where he sat with his legs before him. It was wholly undignified, but it was the clearing they spent their free time in the summer when Sherlock wasn’t there for them to watch over.

“Why here?” he asked, brow lifted as he watched her carefully weaving the bevy of flowers she’d picked. It had made their walk three times as long, but he was content to watch her as the sun shone on red curls and the yellow sundress flowed in the wind. Uncle Rudy wouldn’t approve of the way he was beginning to think of her. The neighbor girl in the summers who helped him watch over his precocious brother and never knew the sister that still haunted his nightmares. He was sixteen now, but the tension was not yet gone in the Holmes house. Ruth’s insistence on dragging him to the clearing always served as a reprieve.

“You don’t act so stuffy, so it’s where I’ll remember you. I want our memories to match when you go off to school in a couple years.” He might have taken offense if she weren’t right, something she must have known because she added, “It’s probably good one of us already acts politely. But I like seeing you when you don’t look so stressed.”

“I’m under no stress, Ruth.”

“You’re a good liar. But we’ve also spent four summers together now. You always play quite serious, but I’m learning to read you.”

There was no reason she needed to know what weighed so heavily on his shoulders. His parents had yet to realize the weight their pressure put on him. He’d been scolded for not watching Eurus more closely, not watching Sherlock and Victor as they played. Then, Uncle Rudy had decided two years before that fourteen was man enough to know the reality and partake in taking care of the family.

Rudy would always claim he occupied a minor position in the British government, but whatever it was allowed him to put Eurus somewhere far, far away. In a few years, Mycroft would go to Oxford, study something that prepped him to join Rudy. When the time came, managing the secrets would be his job. He would minitor Eurus at Sherrinford, hide the secrets away from his parents, let them think their daughter dead and maintain the illusion she was. At least he would give her creature comforts, gifts on birthdays.

Mycroft wouldn’t lose the humanity or kindness Rudy had. It took work to learn it, but it was carefully curated and hidden away, reserved for a select few, and Ruth was one of them. He didn’t want to tell Ruth all the darkness Rudy kept tucked away or the way he had to monitor Sherlock to ensure he didn’t remember Eurus or that redbeard wasn’t truly a dog.

“I am unknowable, Ruth,” he nearly hummed, allowing the corner of his mouth to lift. “But I promise to remember you dirtying a perfectly lovely dress in order to weave flowers into a wreath.”

“It’s a crown, Mycroft,” she said emphatically. “I bring blankets now so you won’t dirty your slacks.”

“What a kindness.”

“You used to be more like me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You act like a teacher. All serious and proper and wearing slacks and a sweater and a collared shirt to spend a day in the yard.”

“I’m just trying to act like an adult.”

“We’re not adults.”

He wanted to tell her he wasn’t allowed to be a child anymore. That he wanted to go with her to get drunk at bonfires and snog and do all the things his peers did. But, between his intellect making most people simply unbearable, the jealousy he wouldn’t acknowledge when some lad talked to Ruth, and the fact that would mean risking something happening to his brother, he couldn’t. If Sherlock were hurt, his parents would blame him, as they did with Eurus, so Mycroft hovered over him. Luckily, he seemed to like the attention from his big brother, often snatching books he knew Mycroft had finished and devouring them to discuss them proudly in earshot of Mycroft.

“I suppose you’re correct. I still have no intention of going to one of those bonfires with you. Sherlock will be home soon. We ought to go back.”

“You’re not his parent.”

“I just enjoy his company.”

She squinted, placing her newly finished ring of flowers atop her head, and he smiled despite himself. It was probably good she made him take these breaks in the summers. Otherwise, he’d never take the time to breathe or feel the sun on his face or anything else. One day, he wouldn’t have the option. Caring wasn’t an advantage. That’s what Rudy kept telling him, but Mycroft couldn’t see how this could be anything but.

Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other… Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

“This isn’t tea, Ruth,” he said, distaste apparent as she set the pitcher before him.

“It’s sweet tea, Mycroft. Just try it.”

“You were raised by Americans. This is a bastardization of tea. I won’t have it.”

“You take your tea with so much sugar, anyway. It’s hot out, and I wanted something that wouldn’t make me hotter. There’s mint in it. And sugar. Just try it. For me?”

Mycroft made a noise of dissatisfaction, taking the offered glass and sipping it. He didn’t want to admit it was bearable, but when he took another sip, he could see the look of pride on Ruth’s face. Expectantly, she crossed her arms, and he sighed as he realized she’d wait until he answered.

“It’s acceptable. Still a bastardization. Hot tea is perfectly lovely on a hot day.”

“I’ll take it. Especially given how easily you’re drinking it.”

“Impossible.”

“You love me,” she sang playfully, and he wanted to tell her he was becoming quite sure he did. She was who came to mind when he heard love described. Ruth was who he trusted, was comfortable around, and made him want to be less of a miserable pain. She was also beautiful and smart and interesting, not like everyone else he’d dubbed as goldfish as of late. It was infuriating.

“To the moon and to saturn,” he said softly, mirroring the way she’d said the same thing affectionately to both him and his brother. His eyes were closed as his head rested against the back of the patio swing, and he felt the tickle of Ruth’s braids before he felt her press a kiss to the top of his head. His heart pounded, and Mycroft was suddenly more aware of her closeness as he opened her eyes. The sound of Sherlock calling out to his audience of toys as he played echoed to them, but for once they were the background noise to his mind and all he could focus on was Ruth’s soft laugh as she watched his brother from her place beside him.

“To the moon and to saturn,” she smiled. “You’re my best friend, Mycroft.”

He didn’t like the word friend in that moment, but saying as much would mean admitting he was smitten with her. There was no way he could keep that from mummy and father. He wasn’t one for affection, but he let her rest her head upon his shoulder, a dignified hand pressing to her cheek before returning to his lap.

“And you are mine, Ruth.”

“You mean that?”

“I do.”

“Thank you.”

Ruth stayed against his side, only sitting up when Sherlock ran up clutching some piece of a broken gardening trow he seemed quite proud to have found. Ruth took it gladly, promising she’d try to think of a way to give it a handle again. In the fall and spring, it was always harder for him to keep up with his younger brother; mummy and father both taught at the university and found their time researching and writing indispensable so they could enjoy the winter break and summer. They said the boys would be fine on their own, but what they meant was Mycroft would be watching. It was better with Ruth, who genuinely seemed to enjoy helping to make Sherlock feel included.

With Eurus gone and Victor dead, the ten year old only had his brother and their neighbor. He also had the same distance Mycroft remembered so well, the sea between himself and everyone else because their minds simply worked differently. People could be so boring, especially if they were unwilling to deal with the Holmes’ peculiarities. Everyone was so delicate, still learning who they were and building self esteem, that Sherlock and Mycroft with intelligence to rival the teachers and eccentricities abound didn’t know how to interact, especially given how long their mother had kept them home schooled. Victor had always understood his brother, and now he was gone. Ruth was the first close friend Mycroft had found, the only one where he didn’t have to calculate what his next move should be.

“Mycroft,” Sherlock asked, pulling on his brother’s sleeve. He was still all dark curls and blue eyes. It was still admiration on his face instead of the annoyance that would take its place ten years later. “Do we have any of the big wooden dowels left? Ruth says we could use them to make a handle!”

“We do,” he said softly, straightening the boy’s collar. “You’re quite lucky she’s always so willing to assist in your restorations. Her father does restorations for museums. I’ll fetch the dowels. You help Ruth set up your work station.”

I’ve been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why I think you should come live with me And we can be pirates, then you won't have to cry

“Why are you hiding?”

Mycroft looked up from his book, back against the wall of the attic. It was the first Christmas since he’d left for Oxford, and he was pleased to learn both families would spend it as they did their summers. If anything had been confirmed for him, it was that he was irrevocably in love with her. He’d now kissed and slept with a couple of people and each time he wondered how it would be if it were Ruth.

Rudy had made it apparent that until he was needed at a job once he graduated, his summers were his, and he was pleased to know he had three summers with her before Eurus was his responsibility. Sherlock had been acting out since he left, and he had a feeling soon enough the boy would be his responsibility from afar.

“I’m not hiding,” he argued as she settled beside him. “What, no hello?”

“Hello, Mycroft. I missed you terribly.”

“I missed you too, Ruth.”

“You never call me. We don’t get to run into each other when you’re at school. So we’ve got to put in effort.”

“I’ve nothing terribly interesting to say.”

“Call and bore me then, okay?”

“You require quite a lot of attention.” His tone was as playful as she’d ever heard, though to anyone else she was certain it sounded monotone. But, the corners of his mouth weren’t turned down, even if he did seem more exhausted than she’d ever seen him.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, Mycroft.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I could hear your dad.” Mycroft sighed, placing his bookmark and setting the novel aside. His hands came to rest on his lap, fingers laced, and he just couldn’t quite bring himself to look at her. “Was it about Sherlock?”

“He’s been acting out with regularity. Mummy and father think I should come back more. That he misses me. I do not know when they expect that I will be able to, but I’m going to make an effort to.”

“Mycroft, he’ll find something else to act out over. He’s only turning eleven. It’s a change he’ll have to get used to because one day, you’ll be prime minister or something and never have time for any of us.”

“Don’t wish that upon me.”

“Sometimes, I think something bad happened here. And that the energy gets to your dad. He isn’t like this in the city from what you tell me.”

“Are you implying ghosts make my father angry, Ruth?”

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “You should come stay with me. I’ll sneak you in through the window.”

“Your father would have me killed. He’d assume I had nefarious intent.”

“He left,” she muttered, picking at the loose thread of the rug.

“Ruth-”

“I’m fine. He still visits me, and I visit him. It’s just so strange being here for Christmas without him. He met a woman at work…”

“How’s Catherine?”

“She’s taken it well. She stays out a lot. But she’s been home for the holiday since we came out here.”

“I am always here if you need to talk about it. You could have called me.”

“I know,” she said, squeezing his fingers. “Are you ready to run away from responsibility yet? I still think we could have a lovely roadside stand somewhere. A cottage.”

“You could always come to Oxford.”

“Maybe I will.”

“I’ll always have a place for you.”

“I’m just pleased I get to see you. It’s been too long. You’re my favorite person, you know?”

“And you’re mine.”

“No, Sherlock is,” she teased, nudging his side. “But that’s fair.”

“I love you.” The words tumbled out before he could stop them. He’d said it dozens of times, but always in response to her. There was something else behind it now as they hid away from their families. It felt comfortable. He felt at home now that she was here. Wasn’t that a sign? That he still felt unstable when surrounded by his parents and Sherlock, but a peace washed over him when Ruth’s head poked out from behind the attic door.

“Mycroft-”

“It’s perfectly alright if you don’t.”

“I do.”

“What?”

“I said I do. I love you too, Mycroft Holmes.”

He didn’t know what to do now. Oxford was the first place someone had kissed him, a brunette boy at a party his roommate had held. There was also a woman, one much older than him, who he met at the library. Those had been simple enough because the weight of his feelings wasn’t attached. He’d worked so hard with Rudy to control them, to remember caring isn’t an advantage. It was acceptable to love his little brother; Rudy reminded him that would make everything easier. But loving Ruth? He’d always made their friendship an exception, but as he realized he had the opportunity to kiss her he took it.

Long fingers cupped her jaw, and his heart soared as he realized she was looking to his lips. She leaned in before he could, hands going to his sides as she kissed him sweetly. Each kiss he’d had before had a purpose. It was hard and wanting and found the inexperienced Mycroft in a bed somewhere. Now, he could just hold his lips to hers like this forever, never progressing, and be happy. When they did separate, she buried her face into the crook of his neck, and his arms circled her waist as he savored the closeness. He could feel her heart pounding as his was.

“I love you, Mycroft.”

“And I love you, Ruth.”

“Promise?”

“To the moon and to Saturn.”

#Mycroft Holmes #mycroft holmes x oc #mycroft holmes x original character #mycroft holmes fanfiction #sherlock #bbc sherlock

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plague-of-insomnia · 3 years ago

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Lol I *hate* that post. Also like, most people don't read classic lit, and classic lit in general can be critized as being made up of primarily cis, white, straight men. Women and queer authors often have their works shuffled into YA. And fanfic?? Primarily made of of women and queer folk (and queer women). Which... is often what the reasoning is why it's targeted.

Also, children's lit and YA lit are some of the best works I've read. They deal with harsh topics. One of my favorite books from when I was a kid is Gossamer by Lois Lowry. My class read it in fifth grade (so like, 10 year olds) and it dealt heavily with abuse and coping with and recovery from trauma. The book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson also deals with very dark themes, and it's YA. (Also both very good books and I highly recommend each. Look up the trigger lists for them. When I say they deal with dark subjects, I mean it.)

Fanfic and YA are such broad categories, and to dismiss them shows a clear lack of true understanding of literature. Typically, when people say they dislike them, it boils down to bias against queer people, women, and romance as a genre (which was spear headed by, you guessed it, queers and women).

Also, there's nothing wrong with liking tropes. I like tropes. Everyone likes specific tropes. We've all just been copying off of one another since the beginning of art creation, and we will continue to do so. Just let people enjoy things ffs. Reading is for fun and creating fanfic is for fun. Just because I read or write something doesn't mean I want to base a master's thesis around it

[In reference to this post: TL;DR - people who only read fan fic/YA aren’t capable of understanding/analyzing complex themes bc they’re obsessed with tropes]

Oof! @gabedemon, this is all a really good point/addition to why that OP’s point was 😬.

Now I’ll confess I do not personally like YA as a general rule, largely for two reasons: 1) I don’t like reading about teens and 2) for a while EVERYONE and their grandparents were writing YA to try and hitch onto the bandwagon of popular novels turned films like Harry Potter and The Hunger Games, et al, and so a lot of people were writing stuff just to try and ride a trend rather than bc that’s what they should have been writing/what their story actually wanted.

However, you are 100% right that there are some amazing novels that fall into that broad category and are worth reading whether you’re 15 or 95 (or somewhere in between).

One of the best novels I read before my headache began (and I stopped reading novels 😞) dealt with some really heavy issues (it was focused on suicide) — and it managed to delve into complex mental illness (like BPD, borderline personality disorder) and suicidality in a really realistic and complex way while not glorifying it in anyway. I highly recommend it, if the topic isn’t too tough for you (general you) to deal with, Suicide Watch:

I definitely think you see queer authors and their stories forced into niche publishers or fan fic (I don’t know if I would say only YA here as I’ve read a ton of non-YA queer published fiction).

I think you have some people who are just “snobs” who think only “serious” “literary fiction” is worth reading and has any depth. Those people have probably never read a really good YA novel (I also recommend Freaks Like Us for one that tackles mental illness in a insightful way) or any fan fic at all. (Or if they have, it’s something like My Immortal.) So they make the assumption that all fan fic must be meaningless drivel (as if there isn’t plenty of that in mainstream, published adult fiction or other media for that matter).

They also forget that people read for different reasons, and like you said, not everyone wants to read something to write a master’s thesis on.

Some “pulp” stories, like the Sherlock Holmes tales, have survived and proliferated across time and languages because people find them entertaining and can identify with the characters in some way. (Ofc some people like to analyze those stories but not everyone does; in fact, most people don’t, and that’s perfectly fine.)

So I think you have the snobs who really aren’t looking at it from a “I must crush queer writers,” though ofc you’re absolutely right about the fact that bias still exists among readers and publishers.

As I mentioned before, trying to publish a novel with a queer MC or romance through one of the big ones is really difficult for the same reason we see plenty of queer baiting in film but very few actual queer stories. Publishers are afraid that those stories won’t sell, will offend and affect sales of other books, etc, etc,

So we see the proliferation of queer stories and writers in fan fic where people are free to write whatever they want. And that’s really wonderful, imo. (But I also hope we finally see more mainstream queer stories and authors/creators as well.)

And as for tropes, honestly that was the dumbest part of the whole argument. Tropes have always and will always exist bc there’s just some things we humans love to see over and over and over again. I’m sure you could label just about any “high” art with a trope of some kind. Just bc something can be distilled into tropes doesn’t mean that’s all it is. I mean, writing programs always talk about things like “the hero’s journey” or whatever and that’s a kind of trope, too.

Anyway, I’m gonna stop before I keep rambling 😅 but yeah I think you make some really great points/additions, and I absolutely think that “all generalizations are bad” 😅😂 and trying to make a sweeping assessment like that is ridiculous.

Kind of reminds me of how much scorn “genre” fiction has gotten (think mystery novels or romance novels or sci fi, etc) because it’s “shallow.” But that has begun to change, and I do think we’re slowly seeing the attitude toward fan fic changing…. Now, if only we could chuck all the antis and their puritanical BS out the door….

#poi answers #gabedemon #literature #fiction tropes #very long post #not kuro

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roccomoon · 3 years ago

Text

a birth anniversary noticing

7.22.21

1036am

if you’re reading this, maybe you know me, maybe you don’t,

maybe you care, maybe you don’t,

theres no way i could know,

so i don’t really care,

but i do appreciate the energy,

and attention,

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its my birthday today, and im writing this,

typing it,

reflecting on how it feels,

an anniversary that notices when i first breathed life into this form,

it brings something tender, vulnerable, and sensitive out of me,

i woke up this morning, sat up, checked the time, and closed my eyes,

i sat until it felt i was ready to open eyes, i checked the clock,

20 minutes had passed,

all i saw was who i am, and how that wants to be,

how it already is,

but honestly, how that isness wants to be expressed,

theres so much i want to do,

and yet,

only ever one thing to do, that does all things,

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i remember being a young human,

feeling like i was just overflowing with a world inside of me,

it seemed like my dad was really important to a lot of people,

people showed up to his concerts and they cared about the things he said,

they cheered and applauded ,

i wanted that,

i tried to do it in sports,

and failed,

for the past 10 years,

I’ve really been doing my absolute best at creating meaningful art,

and admit-tingly , it always feels really nice when people care,

when they care enough to pay close attention,

when their attention is on me,

when i am in the center of someones attention,

and they’re absolutely focused on my expression,

performing music on stage,

acting in film,

seeing someone really grasp a tech idea that can be a huge business,

it feels really nice,

to be really seen and heard,

and felt , and noticed, and understood,

i guess i don’t need it,

but i actually do,

i have God’s love pouring through me,

and in many ways, that is the end all be all,

it is enough, but as my sadhana deepened,

i realized it was actually a bizarre western roman catholic christian trauma distortion to act like you don't need attention, or want to be the center of attention, or the center of your own galaxy, .. a star.

the west actually, because of toxic christianity mostly, has developed some kind of weird anti ego - egohood...

its like an ego complex about being anti ego...

like its frowned upon to want the spotlight or something...

but as sadhana deepened, and the Parusharthas unlocked much that was suppressed, ... i ... as i actually am, was unlocked, ... and allowed,

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there, here, is presence, that could go unnoticed by others, for centuries,

but i , rocco, now with integration, noticed,

that i actually need to be noticed,

i sat with this, and observed the reality,

i need it,

its not just a want,

it is a literal need. not just human. but a meta-physical need,

of every soul,

to varying degrees,

some more than others,

karmic structure is just as real as physical skeletal structure,

its about potential , and potential being wasted,,,, is sad,

the All is sad when such occurs,

so,

i need to be noticed,

in my growth and evolution,

it confirms that its happening,

and i only discovered this because i did my best to become invisible,

totally avoided my calling, and that "wanting" to being seen,

heard,

felt,

witnessed,

as a kid on tour, i practiced being invisible,

then in art, i wanted to become invisible so the art was seen, but i didn't get in the way,

but that was all still woven with fear of being seen,

for being seen as being the greatest living thing in existence,

which , i am,

i am literally the greatest living thing in existence,

not stuttering,

clarifying ,

i , am , the , greatest, living , thing , in , existence,

...

and i want, which is predicated on a need,

to be witnessed in that,

witnessed as attention, attention as awareness ,

awareness as love,

of, and for my evolution and expansion,

and not from lack, but from having,

from abundance,

from being, ,

its not just a want,

its an actual human need,

that i acknowledge is sacred, and actually of divine accord,

why else would i be beaming with these desires,

to be seen and heard,

for no reason?

or for the one and only reason.

sat. chit. ananda.

:{}|:{}:}|}:}|{:}:}|:}:{|}:}{:{}|:|{|{:{}|:|:|:{}:}:|:{:{|}:|{}:}{:}:|}:|}:{}|:}{:{|:{|}:

i remember being backstage, and getting in the way one time,

we were on tour with kiss, and lynyrd skynyrd,

and i got in the way,

these dudes were pushing huge container things on wheels down the hallway, and i think i was walking while playing pokemon on my gameboy... and my dad grabbed my arm tightly,

and in my eyes, told me to never get in the way like that,

always be aware and cognizant of what's happening around me,

so i did,

that wasn't the first time that happened,

but it was the last,

i was never in the way again,

well, there were probably times, but since then i have been keen on not being in the way if i don't have to be,

since then, i love being against a wall,

or in a corner,

so i am able to see everything that is occurring around me,

i love being able to see, everything, clearly,

even in life, if i go days or weeks without being on top of a mountain, or on a big wide open road, it feels like claustrophobia,,, like i need to see evvvvverryyyything around me... its like a clarification of where i am in relationship to everything around me... and what all those things are...

theres this scene in one of the jason bourne movies where he basically flexes as to how aware he is... he's like... theres 3 dudes over there... one just got divorced... 2 are well trained... then there 4 other dudes over there... one likes pickles... etc etc... its like a sherlock holmes thing too... who is another one of my favorite super hero style reference points amongst the all.

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it feels like that's what happened for several years,

i moved to la,

and just disappeared,

i needed to get bearings on who i was in relationship to literally everything else in existence.

i dissolved most the friendships i had from high school, and became a loner, and nocturnal,

i had actual human friends still, but now something changed,

and i was inward almost seemingly more than i was outward,

my friends were people who i didn't even know,

kid cudi, yeshua, tesla, einstein, thelonious monk,

artists, legends, great ones, channels,

and as i became more and more alone,

i became more and more aware of what i wanted to do with my life,

i wanted to channel the infinite into the finite,

and i although i thought i didn't need anyone to notice,

i realized, after a while of no one noticing, i did.

so if you're reading this. thanks.

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the i am witness seamlessly bright in awareness at these words,

as they move through my fingers and appear on the screen,

when i watch them appear on the screen,

it feels like a mirror,

to me,

that’s how it feels,

i had these sensations inside of me,

and they were just sensations,

but not i am typing those feelings,

and they show up as words on the screen,

that’s pretty cool,

i guess that must be what my dad feels when he plays the guitar,

they were just feelings and sensations inside of him,

and then , because he is a master craftsman ,

he is able to become a channel, and fully express himself into that form,

i feel that when i write,

i feel that when im acting, when the camera is on,

or even on stage,

i feel that when im performing a piece of music i really care about,

i feel like i haven’t felt that in a while with music honestly,

it feels like i got away from just being my most ridiculously authentic signal there,

and i wanted to be cool,

cool feels like death sometimes,

sometimes its nice when it happens, but sometimes it just doesnt feel like who i am,

i don’t think I’ve ever felt cool acting,

i don’t feel like like that’s what its for ,

for me,

i love feeling the feeling of completely disappearing, and feeling whatever is that, fully,

and not having an opinion about what the feeling is,

terror, horror, anger, jealously, hatred, pain, sorrow, torment, love, joy, bliss, fun, happy, friction, confusion, lostness,

whatever,

as long as im feeling it fully,

then i call that “perfection”,

i call that “missing out on nothing”

i call that “fully reflective”

im writing a book about it actually,

its called “moon theory”

“missing out on nothing” means nothing is missing,

when nothing is missing everything is perfect,

resistance-less-nes-

the state of no resistance,

wu wet, zero point, crystallinity , buddhic emptiness,

perfectness,

my version of it,

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…

so im sitting here,

writing this,

and noticing what is present for me,

and the other things i would like to be present,

that feel like, because i don’t see them outside of me,

but feel them within me,

they are missing,

but they are only missing from the outside,

they are present on the inside,

and that feels nice to distinguish,

they aren’t actually missing,

they are loading,

so they are coming,

coming into existence,

growing from thought, to feeling, to experiential manifestation,

from the inners of my inner awareness,

to the palpable touchable holographic matrix i access through senses,

that’s basically where im at right now,

nothing is missing,

but i notice what i would like to add to what is present,

i knew this last year too, but it was less accessible ,

less tangible,

as clarity,

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last night my mom said that jesus is the only way to God,

that made me sad ,

cuz yeshua literally came to me and said that not true,

he said folks misunderstood his teachings, and ran with em,

he literally said that he is the crystal soul self,

which all are, and so all can get to God,

and his teachings have been horrifically, violently misinterpreted,

he told me this,

and it feels sad sometimes when those closest to me don’t notice who i am,

it feels sad sometimes when it feels like those closest don’t see me,

or , like they haven’t taken the time to realize who and what i am,

that’s okay though, it gives contrast so when there is the feeling of being super heard, seen, felt, and understood, its clearly noticed,

i know who i am,

and amongst all the things pouring through me,

and into the holographic field of reality,

i am glad to be this one,

with the awareness i have,

,,,

enough thoughts for today,

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i phase out of rocco,

rocco’s eyes glaze over,

rocco looks up,

the channel opens like a flower,

we see rocco looking up to us,

we receive him with love,

he asks us,

what else should he write,

what else should he share with those who will read this,

he feels like not that many people will read it,

and so he feels less important,

because he compares himself to others so quickly,

we reassure him that is not appropriate ,

for the time will come ,

when everyone pays attention,

he feels our reassurance,

the reader wonders who is We,

we are rocco’s guardian guides,

yeshua is here,

gautama is here,

arch angel michael is here,

quan yin is here,

thoth is here,

gabriel is here,

st. germain is here,

melchizedek is here,

abraham is here,

ra is here,

we are rocco’s channel prism guardian gateway keepers,

rocco feels slightly scared to share this right now,

and we reassure him it’s okay,

for he is emptying into the infinite,

and dissolving into resolution,

you reading this is a sacred witnessing of a human beings dharmic resolution,

rocco looks up to us with a prayer hand emoji,

we look to him with the same,

this is enough for now,

thanks for reading,

thanks for paying,

thanks for your attention,

thanks for all you are,

ase, aho, amen, amun,

ra,

co,

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centaurianthropology · 4 years ago

Text

A List of Older Fandoms for Quarantine Viewing

I thought it might be fun to put out a list of older fandoms or smaller fandoms that might be of interest to folks here. As we’re all still stuck with quarantine, perhaps you’re looking for some new/old media? Perhaps this list could help?

This is halfway between a rec list and a charting of my own fandom history. For anyone looking for some new fandoms to check out that are various flavors of interesting and a little older, check ‘em out!

Feel free to add your own!

In no specific order (other than maybe my DVD shelf??)

Patrick O’Brien books/Master and Commander - this was a fairly good-sized fandom back when the movie ‘Master and Commander’ came out. A must-watch for anyone who likes historical fiction, age of sail, and powerful homoeroticism.

David Drake’s Royal Cinnabar Navy series - did you ever want Master and Commander in space, but Stephen Maturin is a librarian named Adele Mundy who is a sharpshooter and utterly terrifying and wonderful and beloved ace representation? Fair warning: this series contains grapic descriptions of violence from an author who’s still working through his Vietnam PTSD. Here be dragons.

Adam Adamant Lives! - an Edwardian adventurer got frozen in a block of ice by his arch-nemesis The Face, thawed out in 1969, and now fights crime with a young woman sidekick and an actor-turned-butler who spouts limericks. It is a completely insane show and joyously dumb. Everyone involved is having a whale of a time. It’s hard to come by, but so worth watching it for the pure silliness.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I can’t believe this has become a fandom some people haven’t heard of, but here we are, far enough out from the massive cultural impact of Buffy that I need to remind folks. 1990s series about a cheerleader-turned-vampire slayer, struggling with both the supernatural and with high school (which is much worse).

Angel - spinoff of Buffy, and in some ways my preferred series? It has so many problems, and the writing of seasons 3 and 4 is quite weak, but the characters are strong, the stories are solid, and Alexis Denisof’s Wesley Wyndam-Pryce remains one of my favorite character arcs in television.

Marble Hornets - here’s another fandom that doesn’t feel like it should be old, but it’s now over a decade since its premiere. One of the early webseries, Marble Hornets is still one of the best. Well done horror with occasionally iffy amateur acting, easily overcome with a surprising touch for cinematography. I’m a sucker for amateur film, especially when it’s well done and ambitious.

Babylon 5 - This was the first fandom I posted about on here, and still one of my great loves. Arcs before arcs on television were a thing. Huge overarching stories playing out over seasons. Great political intrigue on a space station. The grandest, most tragic Shakespearean romance that ever played out between two middle-aged alien diplomats.

Carnivale - HBO prestige show before they had prestige shows. Bought the DVDs on the cover art alone, and they were so worth it: “1934. The Dustbowl. The last great age of magic.” Like most HBO shows, every possible content warning does probably apply to this show, though it’s not nearly as extreme as Game of Thrones, so if you could watch that, you can probably watch Carnivale.

Firefly - space western courtesy of Joss Whedon. Only one series long, but really well done. Probably Whedon’s best work.

Homicide: Life on the Streets - early 1990s police procedural with a twist: it wanted to be a very accurate, realistic portrayal of a homicide unit, based on a documentary novel. The characters all feel real, you’re certain they all smell like cigarettes, coffee, and sweat. Also, can we applaud a show that has a female homicide detective who doesn’t wear makeup, has frizzy red hair, and never wears heels? Kay Howard is such a fantastic character. Frank Pembleton and Tim Bayliss and John Munch and Gee are all such wonderful, real characters. Another great show for prestige-television-before-it-existed.

The Last Detective - British detective series about a detective who gets small, mournful cases ignored by everyone else and solves them mostly through dogged work rather than brilliance. This show is the most melancholy show I have ever seen, shockingly good in the quietest way possible, and remains one of my favorite detective series ever.

M*A*S*H - have you ever wanted a proper tragicomedy billed as a sitcom? There’s a reason this show is still considered the greatest sitcom ever made. Fair warning: the early seasons really haven’t aged well, and a lot of the comedy doesn’t land. But if you’re willing to stick with it to the later seasons, you’ll find a show that shifts toward one of the greatest tragicomedies ever.

Sapphire and Steel - 1970s/1980s British horror/sci-fi show about two mysterious beings that appear to resolve science fiction reinterpretations of horror concepts. Despite a shoestring budget, the writing is phenomenal, and the acting is perfect, particularly the icy intimacy between the two leads, David McCallum and Joanna Lumley.

Sherlock Holmes - before the modern interpretations, there was the 1980s series starring Jeremy Brett. If you want the single most accurate interpretation of Conan Doyle’s work, with characters who feel and look like they’ve stepped off the page (and the series that singlehandedly rehabilitated the character of Inspector Lestrade), this series is a must-watch. This has been my go-to comfort viewing for years.

Also, if you’re a Sherlock Holmes nut, and you’re desperate for more content, and willing to navigate a Cyrillic DVD menu for subtitles, might I suggest the late 70s Russian Sherlock Holmes series? Vasiliy Livanov’s Holmes is such a different interpretation of the character, and he’s a delight. And Vitaliy Solomin’s Watson is possibly my favorite Watson ever. He’s so done with everything.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - sort of the forgotten middle child of the Star Trek series, but in many ways it’s one of the most ambitious. It was a rival/developed at the same time and somewhat by the same team as Babylon 5, so there are some striking similarities (space station, overarching stories, etc), but while B5 manages the political intrigue better, DS9 does a war better. It’s the darkest of the Star Trek series, investigating the more tarnished edges of the utopia. The characters are more deeply developed and flawed, and I love them all. Andrew Robinson’s portrayal of tailor-with-a-mysterious-past Garak is probably the best character Star Trek ever created in any series.

Hope those of you looking for new things to watch and dig into might find something in this list!

#older fandoms #maybe you're looking for something new to watch or read?#might I offer these?

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vincent-g-writer · 4 years ago

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The Silver Screen Savant, pt 2- the Meh, the Bad and The yikes.

Hello Writers!

Last time here on Starry Starry Write, I talked a little about Autism in the media and my personal experiences therein. Today, I’d like to go a little broader, and tackle the topic from a macro perspective.

In recent times, you’ve probably heard “Representation Matters” oft repeated. Especially in prominent talking spaces like social media. But what does that mean, exactly?

Why “Representation Matters,” and how.

The short answer:

Diverse representation in media tells us that everyone has a place in the world. That everyone’s story matters.

The long answer:

It’s no secret that we begin engaging with media at a young age. When I was growing up in the 90’s and 00’s, TV and video games were often the babysitters of my peers. I was one of the few kids in my neighborhood whose parents weren’t divorced. The kids I knew? Not so much. Most of them were raised by single parents, grandparents and of course-the boob tube. I personally prefered books, when my mom wasn’t yelling “it’s too nice out to be holed up in that dark bedroom!”

Now, don’t mistake my preference for some kind of intellectual superiority. I watched plenty of TV too. Besides, books aren’t magically out of the equation. Printed material is our oldest form of media. And- often just as problematic. Though I will say- I saw a much broader range of people on covers adoring library shelves than I ever did titles on a TV roster. But, I digress. The point is: for many of us, consuming media begins at an early time of our life. And that’s where the problem starts. Even in my childhood, where The Magic School Bus, Hey Arnold, and Sesame Street showed people of all kinds, I can point to many that did not. Especially not people like me. Which did me a grave disservice. I didn’t know I was on the spectrum for a long time, and when I finally found out, I was horrified, thanks to what I had seen on TV.

Because media is not only a wonderful way to learn about people that don’t look, act or sound like us. It also informs our ideas of who we are, and what we can be. Whether we like it or not: it shapes how we understand the world. And it doesn’t stop with Childhood.

Time Changes Much, but not all.

Things are better now. Well, a little bit, anyway.

As an adult, I see more people like me on the screen nowadays. Which is nice.

Ish.

Why “ish?” Well…

Frequently, these “noticeably different” characters (read: Autistically coded) are branded “NOT AUTISTIC!” You heard it here first, folks! That one character (insert your favorite) is Totally Not Autistic. Despite being written in a way that gives every indication otherwise.

*Facepalm*

Now for some examples, which we’ll call the “Meh,” “The Bad” and the “Yikes.” For “fun,” we’ll also go into the off-air perceptions of the characters.

The “Meh.”

First on the list is Dr. Spencer Reid, from CBS’s “Criminal Minds.”

Dr. Reid is the youngest member of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, having joined at the age of 22. He holds three B.A degrees in Sociology, Psychology and Philosophy, as well as three Ph.D’s in Engineering, Chemistry, and Mathematics.

He also has the social skills of a limp dishrag. Wait, what’s that? High Intelligence + Low Social Awareness? Hmmm…Then there’s his restrictive behavioral patterns, obsessive interests, and general “quirkiness!” that we could talk about. But let’s hear a quote from the actor who plays him, Matthew Gray Gubler:

“..an eccentric genius, with hints of schizophrenia and minor autism, Asperger’s Syndrome. Reid is 24, 25 years old with three PH.D.s and one can’t usually achieve that without some form of autism.”

Hoooo-boy. I could go into all the things wrong with this, including why the term “Asperger’s” is both horrific (TW: Eugenics,Ableism, N*zis) and harmful. However, today we’ll simply leave it with the fact that this term is no longer applicable, having been reclassified in 2013 as part of Autism Spectrum disorder.

The “Bad.”

Next up, we have Will Graham, from NBC’s Hannibal.

Like our first example, Will works for the FBI. He’s a gifted criminal profiler with “special” abilities, namely hyper empathy, which allows him to reconstruct the actions and fantasies of the killers he hunts. He’s intellectually gifted, hates eye contact, socializing, and prefers to spend…most of his time…alone.

Oh dear. Haven’t we been here before? But, I mean, he doesn’t have Autism! The show runner says so!

For Will Graham, there’s a line in the pilot about him being on the spectrum of autism or Asperger’s, and he’s neither of those things. He actually has an empathy disorder where he feels way too much and that’s relatable in some way. There’s something about people who connect more to animals than they do to other people because it’s too intense for whatever reason.

You can’t see me right now, but I’m cringing. A lot. This is just…ugh. I mean, for starters, I know a handful of autistic people who struggle with hyper empathy, which can make social situations overwhelming and hard to navigate. In fact, I happen to be one of them. Plus, there’s a cool little thing about how, frequently, people on the spectrum more readily identify with animals. But, y’know. Who am I to say? I’m just someone, one of many, who’s dealt with this my whole life.

Now, onto the “Yikes.”

*sigh*

And finally, we have BBC’s Sherlock, a modern adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s renowned “consulting” detective, and probably the most famous fictional character of all time.

Now, I’ll start by saying that the BBC incarnation is not the first to be Spectrum labeled. In fact, Sherlock was my childhood hero, and the first “person” I saw referred to this way. My aunt, an avid reader herself, casually remarked to a friend “I’ve always wondered if Holmes is Autistic,” after I came yammering on about how fantastic the books were. Had I not been champing at the bit to get back to my reading, I might have asked her what that meant.

I also believe this fandom driven speculation is why many detective type characters (see above) are often coded as Autistic, intentionally or otherwise.

In this New York Times article, Lisa Sanders, M.D. describes Holmes traits:

He appears oblivious to the rhythms and courtesies of normal social intercourse — he doesn’t converse so much as lecture. His interests and knowledge are deep but narrow. He is strangely “coldblooded,” and perhaps as a consequence, he is also alone in the world.

Now, before we go any father, let me take a moment to defend his creator. During the time Sir Arthur Conan Doyle first created his most famous work, Autism was not known. That isn’t to say it didn’t exist. We’ve always existed. In fact, it’s now believed that the Changeling Myth, a common European folk story, was a way to explain Autism. In one telling (there are a few) children displaying “intelligence beyond their years” and “uncanny knowledge” were imposters, traded out by Fae creatures for offspring of their own. Children believed to be “Changlings,” regretfully, often came to a bad end. A chilling reminder that the stories we tell impact our real lives.

So while Autism was at least somewhat recognized, it did not become its own official diagnosis until 1943.

Meanwhile, Sherlock Holmes was first published in 1892. Now, as a writer who often draws from my personal reality, I imagine Doyle probably “wrote what he knew,” which is to say, acquainted with one or more Autistic people, he used them as inspiration.

On the other hand…

BBC’s Sherlock first aired in 2010. And while one might argue that the writers simply capitalized on the Autistic fan-theory, or took already available traits and exaggerated them for their version… they left a lot to be desired. Autism aside, this new Sherlock is…well…an asshole. Narcissistic, abusive and egocentric (to name a few) he sweeps his caustic behavior under the rug of “high functioning sociopath,” and blytly ignores the consequences.

Which is a major problem. Because while doing this, he’s still “obviously” (at least in the Hollywood sense) Autistic. In my previous post, where I said some characters are “too smart™, and logical© to ever have feelings, friends or empathy,” this is what I meant.

This is bad. We’re looping right back to Representation Matters. Bad representation, and the navigating of such, is just as important for writers to think about as good representation. Maybe even moreso. Because bad representation paints real people into cardboard, stereotyped people-shaped things. It otherizes. And it’s harmful. You would not believe the people I’ve met assume I’m not Autistic because I’m not an egotistical jerk. Why? Because they watched, you guessed it, BBC Sherlock.

Confession time:

Now here’s my little secret:

I love all of these characters. They are some of my favorite on tv. Why? Because for good or ill, I recognize myself in them. Finally, I can turn on the TV, and see myself. Or, somewhat, anyway.

My favorite character out of this list? Loath though I am to admit it… Is Sherlock. See, what those well meaning folks didn’t know (the ones who say I’m I’m “too nice,” to be Autistic) is… well, if we’re being honest, I wasn’t always nice. A few years ago, I was that guy. I was a jerk because I thought I was the smartest person in the room. Which is really not a good look. In fact, sitting down and watching the first season of sherlock, (around three or four years after it came out) made me realize how much of a jerk I actually was.

There are other things there too. Things that tie me to all these characters, that I didn’t list. But that’s for another today.

For now, I’d like to add a caveat or two:

1) I’ve watched all the shows listed above, and adore them. As I mentioned, Sherlock is my favorite. He’s also the one I’ve watched the most (Repeatedly, in fact. Whoops.) and I recognize it’s not all bad. In the end, he learned to treat people better (somewhat) and certainly became more human over time. And, there are other deeply problematic elements of the show I’d like to tackle, eventually.

*cough* Queerbating! *cough*

2) I’m well aware that the above cases are all thin, white, able bodied, “straight” males. But I chose these characters for a couple of reasons. One, they’re the most prominent type on TV. Again, we loop back around to representation, and why we need more positive, diverse examples of it.

And finally-

3) In my last post, I mentioned I’d give some “good” instances of Hollywood Autism trope. But I didn’t exactly do that. Partially, because half way through, I thought…perhaps…I’m not the best to judge what might be a good Autistic character. I mean, I’m sure someone will read this and think my current aforementioned characters are fine. Heck! They might even argue my perception here, and say the characters are just fine. I accept that. In my life, both on and off the page, I recognize that I cannot, should not (and don’t want to) speak for an entire community.

Because of this, I cannot tell you how to write a “good” Autistic character, or what media is “acceptable.” I can’t even really tell you what a bad character is. Sure, I have a lot of opinions about it. But- if you’re on the spectrum and like and identify with the above? That’s fine. I mean, even with all the problems I noted (and some I didn’t) I certainly do.

On the other hand, if you’re a writer, and you want to write a character from this (or any, for that matter) community you aren’t part of, I caution you.

Do your research. Preferably from multiple credible sources.

Talk to people on the spectrum about what it’s really like. (Though try to steer clear of asking for emotional labor.You could, say, hop on reddit and ask the community there, for instance, which is a no pressure way to obtain potentially decent info.)

Finally, whatever you do, remember this-

Autistic people can look like anyone. We can act, and think and be different, like anyone. We are real, living, breathing people. Not robots, not sob stories, not tropes. People. So if you write about us, write us like people. And your work will be all the better for it.

-Your Loving Vincent

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marta-bee · 4 years ago

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Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

Sherlockians, I want to talk about Mary. Or not about Mary the character, because enough words have been spent on that topic and I’m nowhere near brave enough to wade into that one on a snowy Sunday afternoon, but rather on the way we as readers can (perhaps should) relate to her. At some level what follows is about this Tumblr post, where an anonymous commenter asked for “any fics where Mary’s not the bad guy” and noticed that a lot of the evil-Mary fanworks “gets a bit misogynistic in my opinion”; but I’m also using that as something of a springboard, and don’t mean this as a direct reply to that post. (Which is why I’m not replying in a reblog; please everyone go check out that post and comment on it as well.)

Anyway, let me start with two basic points that I hope are pretty noncontroversial.

Mary is an antagonist, at least some of the time.

Mary has at least some aspects of her character that are bad-making (more on what I mean by “bad-making” in a moment), or at least would be if she were a real person.

The devil’s in the details here, as it is with most things worth talking about, so let’s unpack that a bit.

(Long post is long, and so continued under the cut.)

When I say someone’s an antagonist, I’m not really making a value-judgment. I’m purposefully avoiding that word, “villain,” which calls to mind “villainous” as a description of their personality and character. An antagonist is just someone who plot-wise stands in opposition to the character. They’re wrapped up in the conflict our hero has to overcome.

Let’s take a pretty straightforward (and unrelated to our fandom, so hopefully less emotionally charged for a lot of us) example: the first “Hunger Games” book. Katniss is thrown into a gladiatorial fight to the death with twenty-three other teenagers. With the exception of Rue and (later in the games) Peeta, everyone else is an antagonist in relation to Katniss. She has to hope for their death and be prepared to kill them because their continued existence stands in the way of her surviving the games. Most are reduced to numbers with s knowing precious little about them – certainly not enough to think they deserve death. But they’re still antagonists because they’re obstacles the hero has to work past if she hopes to succeed.

Or take Draco Malfoy, in the early Harry Potter books. He’s a thoroughly unpleasant boy, spoiled and sniveling certainly, but I’d be hard-pressed to call him bad. His biggest defining characteristic is he stands up and tries to fight Harry; but often as not this comes down to inter-house squabbling and the only reason he and Harry are on opposite sides is how they were sorted. As we learn, given the way he was raised and the political situation he was raised in, it’s actually pretty admirable how on the periphery of the Death Eaters he stays. But he’s still the antagonist, he’s the one Harry has to outsmart or outperform or otherwise get around.

It's only natural we cheer when the antagonists fail. We’re primed to identify with the protagonist, after all, and their failure means the protagonist gets to win. Even if objectively know the antagonist doesn’t actually deserve to fail, well. That’s just kind of how stories work.

Getting back to Sherlock, I said it’s pretty noncontroversial that Mary’s an antagonist. So when I say that I don’t mean she’s evil, or even that she’s only an antagonist. But the woman shoots our star character in the chest. It’s her secrets and her very presence that drive Sherlock into exile (and drive Sherlock and John apart) for a second time, undoing whatever victory Sherlock achieved when he defeated Moriarty’s web. She’s certainly a problem to be addressed and worked past in HLV. In terms of canon and parallels with the Doyle stories, there’s quite a lot about her actions (particular in Leinster Gardens) that all but screams “Sebastian Moran.” Ergo: antagonist.

There’s also a quieter, more ordinary sense that I suspect will be more controversial but is worth talking about anyway. Like a lot of Sherlockians and Johnlockers, I’m a big fan of making space for John/Mary/Sherlock in happy OT3 land. I think Sherlock and John at least want some version of that in canon; maybe not romantically, but they like to imagine their being room in their lives for these different relationships to not be in conflict. But in BBC-canon that hope’s not really borne out. This deserves a full meta on its own, but briefly: when Mary observes that neither she nor Sherlock were “the first” (talking about Sholto), she situates them in competition for the same position in John’s life, rather than in distinct, complementary ones (which an OT3 seems to require); and when Sherlock notes at the end of TSOT episode that “we can’t all three dance,” he seems to come to a similar conclusion. I do love me some good Johnlockary fic, but I don’t think this is where the show was heading

At a more basic level, I’d actually argue it almost has to be this way with these three- at least if we’re to hold on to John and Sherlock being “the two of us against the world.” In the 1800s men and women had such different roles in society, a man would do very different things and relate in very different ways to his close (male) friends than he would to his (female) wife. So Watson could run off with Holmes and have adventure, then return home to Mary for the peaceful, even loving family life, without one really being in tension with the other. But by the twenty-first century those spheres aren’t nearly so different. Even if you don’t imagine them as lovers, it’s hard not to imagine a self-respecting woman today saying as Mary did in TAB, “I don’t mind you going; I mind you leaving me behind.” One of the biggest challenges for a modern Holmes adaptation (or indeed, for a modern consumer of the original Doyle stories) is how to balance Holmes’ and Watson’s private “intimate partnership” – however we understand that term – against (John) Watson’s marriage to Mary with all we moderns expect of that relationship in terms of emotional fidelity, equal partnership, shared future, etc.

Put more simply: Mary should throw a monkey-wrench in the mix; she should be something that must be accounted for and whose presence should affect how Holmes and Watson can interact. Not to mean her presence is incompatible with Holmes and Watson’s close and exclusive relationship, but at a minimum she’s a factor in need of an explanation. She can’t help but be antagonistic, at least to some interpretations of Holmes’s and (John) Watson’s relationship.

As I said, with antagonists, it’s only natural to cheer for the protagonists, which almost inevitably means rooting for the protagonists’ failure. At least we root for them being de-antagonized, converted into some other relationship to the main character. But if you’ve spent any time on AO3, you’ve probably come across fanfic focusing on the antagonists (*cough* Loki *cough**cough* Drary *hacks up a longue* Silm-fandom-this-one’s-for-you *cough*’s). We can be a thirsty bunch when it comes to our antagonists, for characters we by all rights should be primed to hate. And even at the level of primary-canon, one of the biggest ways the primary creator shows their emotional growth is by realizing their antagonists aren’t truly their enemy. Like most readers I had a tear in my eye as Cato suffered through the night, begging for death; and certainly I would have been outraged if Harry hadn’t saved Draco from the Room of Requirements in “Deathly Hallows.” Gollum’s treachery is explained and he is given his own completion; Darth Vader is spared by Luke and allowed to look on his son with his own eyes; and the Klingons, Cardassians, and Borg are given their own sort of redemption in Worf, Garak, and Seven of Nine.

All of which is to say: it’s understandable, even natural, why people would have a hard time rooting for the antagonist, but there’s a long history of fandom peoples steering into the curve on this one. So it’s also understandable, even natural, that people want to hear stories with them at the center, both new stories about them and also versions of the original canon narrative that don’t need them to wear the black hat all the time. Some folks want Mary, Sherlock, and John to all go crime-solving together. I personally think there’s sometimes a danger of turning an antagonist – especially one who is at least morally gray (and I promise we’re getting there) like Mary is – into a protagonist without wrestling with what turned them into an antagonist in the first place; so if you want to bring Mary back to the side of John and Sherlock you need to grapple with what pushed them into opposing roles in the first place, or else risk your plot feeling “cheap” and unearned. (In fairness, this warning could as easily be directed to Mofftiss as anyone in fandom!)

But at an absolute minimum, I think it’s pretty obvious that lots of fans want to imagine the antagonists as at the heart of their own stories, and lots of fan-creators have done a really good job of providing those stories. Just as a lot of fans will almost instinctively be drawn to hate them, well, if you want to go a different path you’re in good company.

Enough about protagonist/antagonist, which as I said is more about the role the character fills in the story than about their morality or character. This, for me at least, is where it really gets interesting.

Before we get started, though, I know a lot of people struggle against this idea of morality when it applies to fictional characters and fictional stories. They’ll point out (rightly) that just because they enjoy a non-con PWP doesn’t mean they approve of rape in real life; that their reading preferences come from a different place entirely than their moral judgments. But at the same time, a lot of people (equally rightly) struggle to enjoy stories that glorify things we don’t consider worth glorifying. It’s one thing to enjoy a story about Draco rejecting the Death Eaters, returning to mainstream wizarding society and joining the Aurors; quite another to imagine him dating Harry while he’s still walking around calling Hermione a mudblood.

Or getting back to the Sherlock fandom, a lot of people are most comfortable with stories with Mary’s the antagonist because she’s got a character history and just personality traits where, if we met someone like her in real-life, we’d consider her morally bad. Or on the flip slide, those fans who want a not-evil!Mary in their stories often like to imagine her as the kind of person we’d describe as good or redeemed or some such thing, if she were an actual person. Mary’s morality, at least the morality of a similar person operating in the real world (because --speaking as a former philosophy Ph.D. student who taught philosophical ethics for years-- let me tell you: talking about the morality of fictional constructs gets very messy, very quickly), seems to matter to a great number of fans. So let’s talk about that.

I said above I thought most people would agree, Mary had parts o her character that were bad-making. What I mean is there are aspects about her that tend to make a person bad, unless they’re explained by some other factor. I’ve got in mind something vaguely similar to W.D. Ross’s theories of prima facie duties (if any of you studied this in your Ethics 101 courses- you would have in mine). Basically, the idea is we have all these duties that apply to us, but they can seem to conflict, and we may decide (rightly) in any given situation that one or the other is the more important one for us to follow. The classic example is the duty to keep our promises and prevent suffering when we can. You can imagine situations where you can’t do both- for instance, if I promised to meet you for lunch and on my way to the restaurant came across a man who fell into a ditch and twisted his ankle along a deserted road, where it’s unlikely someone else would come upon him. If I stop to help him I’ll miss our lunch date and break my promise; and while I still have a duty to keep that promise, I think most people would agree it’s more important to stop and help the person. We’d all be hard-pressed to say if I helped the stranger, I’d failed at my duty to keep a promise; at least not in the same way as if I could have kept that promise and just chose not to. That’s Ross’s idea of prima facie duties: that we have all these general obligations on us, but which actually should govern our choices in any particular instance comes down to the details of that situation.

I think there’s something similar going on with Mary’s character. This is actually a good way to evaluate most of us morally, in my opinion, but it’s doubly useful when it comes to Mary because she’s simultaneously got so many troubling aspects about her that just demand some sort of justification, but at the same time, because Mofftiss really screwed the pooch here, we don’t really have the information we need to give a definitive answer. So it’s useful to say: here’s something about Mary that needs accounting for, even if we don’t have enough information to evaluate her definitively.

Let’s take Magnussen’s biggest accusation against her: “All those wet jobs.” Mary killed people on her own prerogative, and she left behind a lot of grieving relatives who would love their revenge – both a testament to the suffering she caused, and a real risk for John, the baby that will become Rosie, and everyone else in their orbit. But if that’s all there is to it, it’s not wholly dissimilar to John’s decision to shoot the cabbie. It may have been different, but we don’t have the information to know that; it feels different, but most because John was saving Sherlock (who we know), whereas if Mary was saving anyone, it’s not someone we the viewer have an emotional connection to. Still, to borrow a phrase from Ricky Ricardo, Mary, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Or to take an even more serious charge, Mary shot Sherlock, was prepared to make John watch him die all over again and force him to go through that grief that so nearly destroyed him the first time around. Unforgiveable, yeah? The best shot at justification here is that Mary had somehow got herself cornered, so that shooting Sherlock was somehow an attempt to escape an even worse sitation. This really demands a full meta to dive in to, but very briefly, I think Mary never intended to kill Magnussen and was instead trying to intimidate him; meaning she couldn’t let Sherlock undercut her power, but equally she couldn’t leave Magnussen with the impression that John and Sherlock were somehow her partners; so shooting Sherlock was the best way to keep him from becoming a full target of Magnussen’s. If that’s the case, the whole showdown in Magnussen’s office becomes markedly similar to Sherlock’s decision to “kill” himself on the roof of St. Bart’s. Mary is willing to cause a lot of pain to avoid even greater destruction, but at the same time, the whole situation that compels this choice was fed by her limiting her options when she decided to intimidate Magnussen. Similar to how Sherlock, once he’s on the roof of St. Bart’s, has no better option than to fake his own death and leave John to grieve; but how he does have some degree of culpability for engaging Moriarty in the first place and egging on Moriarty’s destructive obsession with Sherlock.

My point isn’t that any of these parallels really hold up to scrutiny. Sherlock risked his own life in TRF (and John’s pain) while Mary was prepared to kill another. John was ready to kill “a bad man” to save our hero while whatever murders Mary committed were against unnamed people in undetermined circumstances, and narratively certainly don’t pull at or heart strings in the same way John’s heroic killing of Jefferson Hope does. But the point is, with Mary, so much of what a lot of fans object to involve these vaguely-told stories where whatever factors would excuse her actions just are left untold. What we can say definitively is “all those wet jobs” require justification. Mary’s willingness to shoot Sherlock require justification. These things are prima facie wrong (or bad-making, the kind of things that tend to make something bad in the absence of other explanations) and demand an accounting for.

I’m focusing on Mary’s violence more than what a lot of fans have identified as her abuse toward John. Partly, this is personal: I have my own experience with abusive relationships and don’t entirely trust my ability to parse similar dynamics in fiction; certainly I don’t want to tie that part of my past to public debate, and I’ve not worked out how to talk about Mary and John without over-personalizing it. But I will say, there’s a lot to be considered on that front as well, and people interested in thinking through Mary’s im/morality shouldn’t ignore it. As a starting point, inevity-johnlocked pointed to several of her old posts making the case that Mary was an emotional abuser. silentauroriamthereal’s fic “Rebuilding Rome” looks at a lot of these issues in a really powerful way if you’re looking for an exploration in fic form. I’ll just add, even if I thought Mary was justified and so “good” in some sense (and my internal compass is so screwed up, I’m not really qualified to tell at this point), the way she chose or had to lie about her past to John seems a particularly bad match for a man like him with his trust issues. So even if you think Mary is good, there’s a lot of justification for saying she’s still not good for him.

So what does this mean for reading fics involving a kinder, gentler Mary? First, I’d emphasize there’s no shame or judgment in reading what you want. Much as writers may choose to write about all kinds of things they’d disapprove of in real life, readers have that same freedom to scratch whatever readerly itch they like, with no need to defend that to anyone else. Kinktomato and all that. On the other hand, I know I personally enjoy stories more when I can lose myself in them, and – again, for me personally – it helps me do that if my values are at least compatible with what’s presented as praiseworthy. I don’t have to guard myself as I enter the story. So it’s definitely worth thinking about how comfortable you are with fiction that vilifies Mary or pardons her or something in between, because it may make it easier or harder to really immerse yourself in a fic.

Then again, maybe that’s just me. I am a rather persnickety chickadee with things like this.

I do know that many fandoms have an unfortunate history of coming down hard on the female competition to a popular slash ship. While I’m reluctant to apply “should”s to our consumption of fiction, I think there are genuine feminist concerns here. Not with thinking Mary’s bad/evil or even hating her, but hating her for the wrong. For me, it helps to imagine another character doing something similar, and think about why I would react differently if it was someone other than Mary doing the deed. Also to be aware of the details canon doesn’t answer decisively or answers different ways in different episodes.

(More than most characters, Mary does suffer from a really inconsistent characterization. I’ve often wondered if everything since HLV was Sherlock or whomever trying on different frameworks for her personality/psychology/what-have-you, to see which could account for what she did to him. First she’s a badass villain, then a Mycroftian operative, then a martyr, then a worldclass manipulator, and finally a sanctifier whose own personality was irrelevant, giving her imprimatur from beyond the grave. And that’s without throwing veteran/maths genius and happy homemaker into the bunch. Maybe the showrunners simply weren’t sure what they wanted to do with her. Whatever the situation, I do think we need to be careful about taking any one canon detail at face-value, especially with her.)

I’m also a little discomfited by this trend I’ve seen among Johnlockers, to write Mary as a monster as a way to lessen John’s pain at her… betrayal, I guess? Or just the loss at her death? I remember when a lot of fanfic authors back between S3 & S4 wrote about the baby being fake; or even after S4, as part of John’s “alibi” rather than a true detail. Or even just deciding the baby was David’s or some such. By itself, that could have been really interesting, but what I saw so often happening was people used that as a way to remove the complication of the baby. Or to let John skip the grief he’d feel if the baby wasn’t born healthy- for instance, if it didn’t exist, or died, or if Mary was killed or ran while she was still pregnant. The basic theme was if Mary didn’t deserve John’s pain, John didn’t have to hurt for so long or as deeply.

Complicated grief is a thing, though, and for a lot of people, grieving the loss of someone who hurt them and aren’t “worth” their pain seem to suffer worse and for longer, particularly if they also have to grieve the lost opportunity to make their peace with the person while they were alive. This doesn’t mean fanfic writers or readers have to give us some kind of sanitized Mary; certainly she has the potential to be a true east wind of a character. But I do think there’s a tendency to prefer a more evil Mary because this lets the story move past her or spares John some suffering often won’t feel true. It also runs the risk of disrespecting the suffering of people impacted by these kinds of losses. So while I think this kind of characterization can be really interesting and compelling, it also takes a lot of skill and thoughtfulness to do it well. Here be dragons.

For me, though, the point isn’t to be proscriptive, to say Sherlock fic writers and readers need to limit themselves to a particular read of Mary. Her character has such potential to give birth to such a wide range of fic. As a viewer of the show I wish the writers and other creators had given us more of a sense of who she was because I think it really contributes to my frustration with not understanding the story they were trying to tell. But as a (kinda-sorta-someday-once-again) fic writer, it’s a true embarrassment of riches. The trick, for those of us concerned about Mary’s ethics were she a real person, is to be aware of the dangers of reading her character certain ways and to be cautious around them if we want to play with those interpretations.

#sherlock meta #mary morstan #marta blathers #johnlock meta

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roxannarambles · 4 years ago

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About This Blog - FAQ

Who are you?

Hi there! You can call me Roxanna or Roxy.

How old are you?

I am above 18/an adult.

What’s the purpose of this blog?

This is a multi-fandom blog made for geeking out over characters I love and for enjoying various ships. Although it’s largely ship-focused it also includes general fandom stuff.

This is a reblog-heavy Tumblr but also includes original posts and content. If you want to jump straight to my original posts, click here.

Do you use tags?

Yes, I tag extensively, so you can find the content you want and filter out the stuff you don’t want. If you need me to tag for a trigger, let me know.

Can I contact you?

Yes, I love to chat, so feel free to message me or drop a note! Anon is currently on but will be turned off if folks decide to be rude.

What fandoms/ships are you currently into?

My current/recent fandom and ship fixations: Pokemon (Nemona/Juliana, Rika/Reader), Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom (Sidlink), Deltarune (Spamton), Delightful Moomin Family (Snufmin), and Ace Attorney (Narumitsu, Franmaya).

What other fandoms have you been a part of?

That’s a pretty long list, but it includes Fire Emblem, Undertale, Doctor Who, Mystic Messenger, Yuri on Ice, Star Trek, Sherlock Holmes (Granada Television & original books), and My Little Pony. For a fun collage that attempts to capture every single fandom I’ve been in, see this post!

What are your content policies?

* Any ships involving sexual content are consenting adults only

* I am always against shipping real-life people

* I will never tolerate content that involves the sexualization of animals or glorifies p*dophilia, inc*st, or r*pe/“noncon”

* You will never find any p*raphilias or extreme f*tishes on this blog

* The vast majority of the content will be SFW, but I will occasionally blog something NSFW (sexually explicit). It will be clearly tagged as such and will have the proper community labels

What are your blocking policies?

People I block:

* Openly and clearly bigoted people of any type (TERFs, racists, homophobes, abelists, sexists, etc.) who have no intention of changing

* I will also block you if you practice or encourage harmful sexual behaviors. (If you sexualize animals in any way, p*dophilia, inc*st, r*pe, etc.) This includes posting stories or art in a public space that glorify that content. I don’t want to see that stuff, and I believe that stuff is actively causing harm to others

* I will block you if you use parental slang terms (that children normally use for their parents) to refer to sexual partners. Yes, even if it’s “just a joke.”

* Finally, for other reasons up to my discretion– excessive rudeness, trolling, content I simply don’t want to see, etc. A block does not automatically mean I hate you

What are your favorite ship genres?

I am a huge fan of fluff, shipping mixed with plot-driven stories, friendship, pre-romance, friends-to-lovers, sexual tension, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, slow burn, and enemies-to-friends-to-lovers. I’m also good with mild angst with a happy ending, but tend to avoid extreme angst.

Can I mass-reblog or mass-like your posts?

Yes, I have no problem if somebody reblogs or likes a bunch of my posts in a row. It doesn’t bother me at all.

Do you have an Ao3?

Sure do! You can see it here.

You’re a grown adult and you’re still shipping? That’s so cringe.

I may be cringe but I am free

#about this blog #announcement #faq #policies

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gisachi · 5 years ago

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12 Games: Shinichi and Ran Game #3 – Old Maid Rating: T Summary: She hoped that once he made the call, her phone would ring. But it didn't. Of course not. There's no way that he'd dial her, right? After all, he's supposed to dial the person he likes. AU

(Read here or in FFN! Link provided.)

-o-o-o-o-o-

"I don't think this is a good idea, Sonoko."

"Oh c'mon. Don't be silly! You just told me the other day that you're bored to death. I'm not even surprised though. Your life only basically revolves around school and karate, Ran! Now thank me because I'm going to make your life a bit more interesting."

The cheerful, light ginger-haired lady did not even give her friend a moment to reply, because as soon as she finished talking, she grabbed her friend's arm and pulled her along with her out of their classroom and into the direction of the adjacent room.

"I will introduce you to Sonoko-sama's 'after-school 'club' activity'!"

For socialites like Sonoko, classroom hopping was a thing after school. That's how the likes of her garnered so many friends in campus. But this long-haired brunette friend of hers, Ran, was the opposite. Sure, she's pretty popular, being known as the karate queen in Teitan High because of her unmatched prowess in the said martial arts, but it was precisely because of that that most students in her school found her kind of intimidating and thus unapproachable. Which was sad because in reality she's very far from that. She's sweet and lovable and all kinds of good and Sonoko could certainly attest to it, having known her since they were kids.

Through the glass window from the corridor, Ran saw some students sitting in a messy circle near the teacher's desk inside that adjacent room. They looked rather – how should she put it – poised and rich. Not that she had any problem with that, but she hated small talks and if she had to deal with it later, she'd probably just rely on her friend Sonoko to keep her afloat in the boat. Her friend never ran out of topics, which made her such a valuable, life-of-the-party kind of person.

Sonoko slid the door open and casually barged in like it was her own classroom. "Yo, minna!"

"Hi, Sonoko-san. We were just talking about you." The girl with a long wine-red hair standing by the window greeted her. Her voice was high-pitched but not the annoying kind. Ran thought she was really pretty.

"And I see you brought a friend?" The student sitting by the desk near the pretty woman spoke this time. He looked like a serious gentleman. Though he spoke fluent Japanese, he didn't look like one. His blonde hair and light brown eyes screamed English. A foreign transferee, perhaps.

The dark-skinned guy sitting on the teacher's desk inspected her from head to toe.

"Wait a sec. Could this nee-chan be, Mouri Ran?" the guy inquired.

"You mean, the karate queen? A pleasure to meet you! I'm Ooka Momiji." Momiji extended her hand at her which she gladly accepted. As Ran shook her hand, she couldn't help but notice the curly-haired girl's incredibly huge front.

The dark-skinned guy spoke again. "I'm Hattori Heiji. That obnoxious looking dude right there is Hakuba, while the woman beside him is Akako. Both folks are from class 2-A."

"And this guy right here," he patted the back of the guy sitting on the teacher's chair next to him, "is Kudo Shinichi."

Ran’s eyes brightened at the guy who was just introduced. Either it was her unsureness or his impulse that the guy’s eyes glimmered as well in reaction to what she herself did.

“Oh, I know him!” Ran said.

“Right, everybody in this school knows about Kud—"

“He was a classmate in middle school.”

Everyone in that room stared at her as if she had said something off.

But Shinichi smiled kindly, effectively disrupting the problematic expression of the others.

“Oh—yeah. You’re right, Ran-san.”

Sonoko nudged Ran’s shoulders.

“Ran! That’s Kudo Shinichi, the great detective! He sometimes teams up with Hattori in solving cases, and the two of them are currently the heartthrobs in campus! You didn’t know that?”

“Stop Sonoko. That’s not really important, is it?” It wasn’t obvious that Shinichi was embarrassed, but from the likes of it, he seemed to have already gotten used to this treatment and had already mastered how to react when people introduce him as THE Kudo Shinichi.

“But that’s not a lie, nee-chan. Currently though I am number one and Kudo is number two.” The guy named Heiji butted in, ruffling the hair of his companion who was reading a Sherlock Holmes book on the side. She rather found the dynamics of the two cute.

“Really? That’s awesome.”

Of course she knew Kudo Shinichi to be a great detective. But she didn’t have to tell and she wondered why. Perhaps because she remembered him better when they were in middle school; they were paired up for a project and even if it was for a week she felt herself developing a small crush on him. Not because of his looks (though she did factor that in, how his face was so charming and almost too perfect, a wonderful product of a beautiful actress mom and a handsome novelist dad) nor his popularity (she didn’t even know he was that popular when they were still in middle school), but because in the short time that they’d worked together, she was captivated by his strong principles and ideals. She remembered having a small conversation with him while they were doing the project. They were talking about aspirations in life, and when she learned that his father was a crime novelist, she asked if he wanted to be like him. His answer was a remarkable no. “I don’t want to write about detectives. I want to be one.” Unadulterated conviction reflected in his eyes. It astounded her how someone in the prime of his age had already decided on what he’d become and how he’d do it. And when he went on further on how he’d like to be the modern Sherlock Holmes, and how he would never let a culprit die even if they did wrongful acts because that would make him, the detective, no different from a murderer, or how reason and logic aren’t necessary to help a person regardless of what kind of life that person had lived, she couldn’t help but admire the way he viewed and understood things from his own perspective. She saw a young boy who was principled but kind; a boy that would seek the truth to its end but would make sure that lives wouldn’t be in danger along the way.

That short interaction stayed with her even after the project, after middle school, and even until now. Her simple crush wasn’t a big deal, she never talked about it with Sonoko. It was just a puppy-admiration thing, and it wasn’t like they’d meet and talk to each other again after that project, so she just let her puppy-crush feelings settle at the corner. That’s why to have the opportunity to sit with him in the same circle came as a surprise. She doubted he even remembered their interaction though because it was a long time ago and they just talked for a week, in person and through text for the sake of the project. Maybe it was a good thing to let him remember by bringing that up instead of acknowledging his grandiose status in school. He probably had enough of that already as introductions.

“This is Ran, Teitan’s karate champ and my best friend since forever!” Sonoko hugged Ran as she proudly introduced her to the others. Ran awkwardly smiled at them and waved. So this was what it felt like standing in front of a crowd of ‘elite’ individuals looking at you. She didn’t feel outcasted though, because they felt all welcoming and fun although it wasn’t apparent on their faces.

“Ran, now that you’ve been introduced to everyone in this room, you’ll have to participate in our ‘club activity’.” Sonoko led her to sit on one of the student chairs.

After Ran asked what kind of activity that would be, Sonoko revealed a pack of cards from her pocket and tossed it on the teacher’s table.

“Actually, nothing. We do nothing. Just random stuff, whatever we feel like. But as the initiator of this group, today I, Sonoko-sama, feel like playing cards.”

Cool, Ran had never played cards before. It’s nice to try something new.

“But if you may know, Ran-san, we don’t care much about the random stuff. We care more about its results.” Akako approached the girls and sat on a nearby chair.

“Because the one who loses gets a dare!” Sonoko added, grinning slyly at her now bemused friend.

“Last week Hakuba-kun had to sit on Heiji-kun’s lap until we finish all rounds and it was the loveliest moment I have ever seen,” Momiji reminisced and everyone laughed except for the two scoffing guys.

“And you know what? Today’s consequence is going to be more fun – the loser must call the person they like and confess!” Sonoko declared.

“Oh, juicy.” Akako commented. “I wonder who from this circle will call me.”

Turning his head slowly to face her, Hakuba stared her down with a straight face. “Akako-san, not everyone is in love with you.”

“That’s what you think, Hakuba-kun,” she contended, with a matching wink.

The tables were now rearranged so that all of them were facing each other like they were in a meeting. Presiding that ‘meeting’ was Sonoko, who had now dealt the cards and announced that they’d be playing Old Maid. She explained the mechanics and everyone got it right away.

“Right. So I just need to get pairs for all my cards.” Ran mentally noted. She looked around her and everyone was focused discarding paired cards from their hands.

Across her was Shinichi, who, with a disinterested face, nonetheless participated in the game.

She paused and admired how he looked. His appearance was different from the last time they were together – his face was much younger then, but now his hair was more refined, shoulders broader, jaw much angular. Yet his eyes still reflected that same old confident vibe. She silently wished that he would look at her direction so that she could admire his beautiful hazel eyes better. And surprisingly, he did. He must have noticed her staring at his direction for a while now that he had to look back at her and acknowledge it. But once their eyes met, she got startled and immediately looked away, embarrassed. She felt like a creep. Meanwhile, Shinichi just pulled a questioning look before returning his eyes to his own hand. Nobody saw, not even Ran, how the corner of his lips tilted slightly for a smile.

“Alright! Let’s start the first round!” Sonoko picked a card from the deck of Hakuba, the person to her left. Lucky for the woman, the first card she picked had a pair.

The game continued clockwise, with Hakuba getting from Ran and Ran getting from Momoji, who got from Akako, then Shinichi, then Heiji then back to Sonoko. Cards were discarded so quickly until finally there were only two people left.

Shinichi with two cards, and Ran with one.

The girls cheered at Ran. It was her turn now. There was a 50-50 chance that she’d be the Old Maid. If she got this one wrong, she’d have to reveal to Sonoko and to these new acquaintances her crush. And it’d be very awkward. Because that would be him. The guy right in front of her.

Closing her eyes in nervousness, she decided to pick the card on her left and on Shinichi’s right.

And she got it.

Ace of spades paired with the ace of hearts she held.

“Oh my gosh it’s Kudo-kun!” everyone in the room laughed.

“Nice one, Ran-san,” Hakuba winked at her. Judging from everyone’s reaction, it’s as if they had been waiting for this moment, for Shinichi to lose. And now that it happened, everyone was thanking her for doing the honor of defeating him.

Ran let out a sigh of relief. By sheer luck, she was saved from a sudden revelation of her hidden crush, who, unbeknownst to the people in the room, was in that same circle. Her contender, even. Glad of her narrow escape, she grinned widely like the rest of them.

“Now, who are ya gonna call Kudo?” Heiji basked at his friend, who just grunted in annoyance.

“I told you, there’s no one,” Shinichi grumbled.

“You’re a bad liar Kudo-kun. Your ears are turning red.” Akako pompously flipped her hair to the side, watching the teenage detective glare at her with warm cheeks and red ears.

“I know who! It’s Uchida Asami-san, right? That pretty senior who gave you your favorite lemon pie during soccer practice?” Sonoko jested.

“Uchida-san? Oh, that senpai is rather pretty. A lot of guys swoon over her. Ya didn’t tell me you’re one of those guys, Kudo!”

“Go on, call her! What a lucky girl.” Momoji raved, looking at Shinichi endearingly.

Ran, who remained silent all throughout the scene, just watched each and every one of them make their guesses as to this mystery woman. For some reason, at that moment, she felt rather invisible. Not because of their doing or that she felt excluded or something. But she was hoping that maybe anyone, Sonoko perhaps, should mention, even in passing, her name. You know, just to suggest, even as a joke. But no one seemed to have noticed. Well, she wasn’t making it obvious to anyone either, even to her best friend. And with all the beautiful people in Teitan High, Shinichi certainly had many options and the odds that he would indeed have a crush on her were nil.

The detective just stared at all of them with half lidded eyes. It wasn’t in his personality to shun everyone, and he didn’t seem like the type who’d chicken out on the last minute. Taking a deep breath, he took out his phone and flipped it open.

“Fine. I will do it. But do me a favor and don’t make any silly reactions, got it?” Shinichi enunciated.

It was only for a split moment but Ran may have noticed him flick his eyes into her direction.

The group cheered when Shinichi started to dial the mystery person’s number. He then positioned the phone near his ear and waited for the call to connect.

She hoped that once he made the call, her phone would ring. But ten seconds in and her phone didn’t. He was already waiting for the person on the other end of the line to answer it, so of course that person couldn’t be her now. She pursed her lips and stared at the window, trying to mask her crestfallen expression.

Not a big deal.

Totally not a big deal.

A minute passed but the call didn’t connect and he was just directed to voice mail. Wondering what was up, he dialed the number for the second time and waited, but still to no avail.

For the third time, he dialed and his phone continued to ring, until finally the person he was trying to call, answered.

Everyone was staring at Shinichi but to their surprise he didn’t speak. Instead, his eyes were wide and he looked confused, and nervous. Ran couldn’t understand what was happening but she had a feeling that his surprised look was not because the call connected, but because the call did connect when he was perhaps expecting that it shouldn’t.

So Shinichi just sat there and everyone’s attention was on him. They could hear the voice on the other end but the words the person was saying were unintelligible.

“Yes. I-I’m sorry. I thought—” Shinichi spoke in a flustered manner.

The voice didn’t even let him finish. It just hang up.

For several seconds, Shinichi was left staring at his phone. His face was a bit flushed. Then he lifted his head and looked at Ran first, then at Sonoko, and then at the other people in the room, all of whose expressions were as confused as he was.

“But that’s a guy’s voice.” Heiji started.

Slowly and cautiously, Momiji went near him and placed one hand on his shoulders.

“I’m sorry Kudo-kun, we didn’t know you’re…”

Shocked at the result of what had just transpired and how the others were interpreting it – rather poorly, that is – Shinichi opened his mouth to explain.

“Barou! That person was –”

Before he could even comment, his phone rang.

“Oh, Megure-keibu. Yes. Yes. Got it. Right now? Okay. We’ll be there shortly.”

He closed his phone and grabbed his bag, motioning Heiji and Hakuba to tag along with him.

“Hattori, Hakuba, we’re leaving. Megure-keibu wants us to go to TMPD. They need our testimonies regarding that robbery case we solved last week.”

“Aww, you’re leaving already? That sucks. I guess that ends our club activity for today.” Sonoko mumbled.

“You got away this time, Kudo-kun! You owe us an explanation next week, okay?” Akako exclaimed loudly to the figures walking past her.

Shinichi shrugged, rolled his eyes, and left the room together with the other two guys.

-o-

After she bade farewell to Sonoko and the two girls, Ran walked home alone, lost in thought. She still couldn't make sense of what just occurred, for it all happened so fast. She was introduced to new people, met and interacted with her crush again, and had her heart break just a little for confirming that he already liked someone else. A guy or a girl, she didn't really care. All that stuck with her was the fact that during that time she might have hoped for a slim chance on him, only for that hope to be completely flushed down the drain.

Sigh. Life goes on, she thought, cheering herself up.

Not long after, she was already in front of her apartment.

“I’m home.”

Ran opened the door to the detective agency and was disappointed to see her father, with two beer cans on his working desk, watching a horse game live on television. He had been drinking again and it wasn’t even night yet.

“Geez! What will you do if a client steps in and sees you like this, otou-san?” She rambled, hands on her hips. But Kogoro didn’t seem to pay much attention as he was intently concentrating on that horse race while clutching on his race tickets tightly.

Seeing that it was no use reprimanding her inebriated father, she turned around and decided to go upstairs in order to prepare supper.

She was stopped by her drunk father scoffing behind her.

“Ran! Before you *hic* go upstairs can you please take your *hic* phone with you? It’s being annoying and disrupting me from the *hic* h-horse race!”

Surprised, she checked her uniform pockets and realized too late that she actually didn’t bring her phone to school today. She probably placed it on the center table of the agency when she took the trash out this morning and forgot to get it again before she left.

She rushed to the table and grabbed it before closing the door and ascending the stairs. Several notifications popped up on her home screen when she opened her phone, with unread messages from her dad and Sonoko. There were also a missed call from the laundry shop across the street. She could’ve stopped there and closed her phone again, but there were still unchecked notifications in her call history. She clicked on it.

Two (2) missed calls.

Kudo Shinichi - Cancelled call 16:30 Kudo Shinichi - Cancelled call 16:32 Kudo Shinichi - Incoming call 16:35 10 seconds.

Eyes widened like saucers, brain lagging for a considerable amount of time.

Kudo…Shinichi… called me?

She rushed to her room, closed the door, leaned against it and stilled her heart, allowing herself to process the name appearing on her cellphone screen. The number of ideas popping in her mind all at once was overwhelming her, and all those musings directed to a certain incredible realization – a realization she wanted so much to be true.

Just in case her eyes deceived her, she double checked the caller. She had already forgotten that she had saved his number, but this was still back in middle school. And now once again his name was right before her very eyes. For the many times she hit back and clicked her call history, the name didn’t disappear, confirming that this was the real deal.

Not that she was jumping into any ridiculous conclusion, but if she remembered correctly, Shinichi did call his crush thrice. The first two were a miss, and the last one, the recipient hang up. She remembered the recipient being a male.

Is it possible that the recipient who hang up was actually… Ran’s dad?

So does that mean that the person Shinichi meant to call…was her?

The call Shinichi made in school? At around 4pm? While they were playing that game? A call that was meant for his crush?

A call that was meant for her?

Mouth still agape, she covered it with her free hand but her eyes remained shocked. This has got to be just a coincidence. She clutched her phone with her other hand tightly, and without even realizing it, she accidentally clicked his name and the phone automatically dialed his number.

Before she could even react, the call had connected. Her phone was now ringing.

Crap.

Panic hit her like a speeding train but she had to pull herself together fast because after four rings a voice spoke on the other line.

“Hello?”

Her throat clenched upon hearing a handsome voice. Certainly, she couldn’t mistake that timbre for someone else.

“…Shinichi-san?”

A momentary pause, then the person on the other line dispelled air before speaking, in a much lower voice this time.

“Yes. And this is Ran-san, right? So you finally have your phone.”

Finally, implying that he somehow knew her phone wasn’t with her earlier.

She nodded her head, pretty stupidly in fact, because it wasn’t like he’d see that.

“You… c-called my phone?” She feebly asked.

“Yes, I did. A while ago.”

“Are you sure you called the right number?”

There was once again a short pause before he answered. She wasn’t sure but with his breathing patterns she thought she could hear him smile.

“Yes, I’m sure now. You witnessed me call, right? In school.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

Wait.

Just. Wait.

Don’t tell me—?

“T-that’s ridiculous.”

“I’m sorry?” he spoke.

“That’s ridiculous! I mean, b-because… that means I’m-… I – Y-you have a… on me…”

The way she struggled to find the right words must have sounded so funny in the phone that the only response of the voice was to heave a light chuckle. She felt a bit awkward. Ran could definitely picture his expression at the other end of the line – probably a smirk that could make her so embarrassed but at the same time let her swoon for ages.

“Yes, I do.”

That short statement. He said it too confidently, too certainly, with the same amount of conviction she had heard from him a long while back.

No matter how hard she tried to speak, no words came out. She couldn’t even close her mouth. She just leaned there against the door, heart accelerating twice as fast as normal, her breathing clipped and producing short croaks that sounded like she was choking.

This time, it was he who tried to decipher her facial expressions. He could almost make sense of her disbelief through the silence in between them, the sound of nothing but static and her irregular breaths.

“Ran-san?”

No response. Feeling that the silence might probably take forever, he decided to speak again.

“You don’t have to say anything back, it’s okay. I hope I didn’t freak you out. I just want you to know, because it’s true. Up ‘til now I’m still thankful for that middle school project because through it I was able to meet and know you. I’m happy you still remembered that.”

Someone pinch her. He remembered!

“I—”

If only his friends didn’t arrive sooner, he would’ve stayed on the line longer.

“I’m sorry, I have to go, Ran-san. I hope to talk to you again soon!” Then he hang up.

Ran stood still, immovable, frozen like a statue, except that she wasn’t cold like marble. Warmth enveloped her whole senses, the source of warmth coming from her heart which she believed had just exploded. The only thing keeping her from thinking that this was a dream was this soothing warmth spreading on her cheeks and hands like fire. She felt her chest tighten.

That phone call really just happened. And there Shinichi manifested that he liked her.

He. Kudo Shinichi. Likes her. Mouri Ran.

The person she liked – no – likes, likes her back.

The next thing she knew, she had already slumped in her own bed, marveling again and again at that one name on her cell phone screen, unable to contain the giddiness she was feeling.

For sure, it would take a week or more before that smile disappeared from her face.

-o-

“Kudo! Who was that?”

Shinichi closed his phone quickly before Heiji and Hakuba, who had just stepped out from the police department, could see the caller’s name on the screen.

“Just – a call I had to attend to. None of your business.” He answered coolly before descending the front steps of the building.

His two friends looked at each other quizzically, then back at him. Expecting their pestering, Shinichi quickened his walk way ahead of them, not attempting to look back.

“Lemme guess, did your guy crush regret that he slammed the phone at THE Kudo Shinichi and called ya back to apologize?” Heiji shouted from behind him.

“Or maybe, it was Kudo-san who tried to call the guy again. He couldn’t move on from the fact that the guy ended the call so now he’s pretending he wasn’t affected.” Hakuba surmised. It was loud enough for Shinichi to hear, and because of that the latter had to face the two ungratefully but he didn’t stop walking. Through his narrowed eyes, he wanted to show to the two that he wasn’t laughing and make them understand that they were being pathetic friends.

“Idiots. Anyway I’m going home.” He walked ahead and waved his hand lazily, leaving the two behind.

The two guys stood there and watched him disappear from sight.

“Oy Hakuba. Are ya thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That our friend is gay and in love? Yes.”

But had they paid more attention to his face as he walked away, they would’ve seen that unique radiance in his eyes and that crimson shade on his cheeks. Those should’ve been noticeable because he had never worn that expression before.

And had they pressed him on further, they would’ve discovered about that short message he had just received. A message that easily caused him to curve his lips into a huge smile and made him thank the heavens for being more alive than ever.

From: Mouri Ran Subject: Thank you.

I’m happy you remembered it too, Shinichi-san. I thought it was just me. And now I’ll have something new to remember again. Thank you for making the calls.

-Ran

P.S. I like you too.

#dcmk #fanfic #shinran #detective conan #kudo shinichi #mouri ran #fluff #uggghhhhhh i still struggle sometimes huhu #but i love my bbs so much i want them to be happy

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wolfofromania · 5 years ago

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8 people I’d like to know better

Rules: fill this up and then tagged 8 people you’d like to know better!

one / ( alias / name ): Bee

two / ( date of birth ): uhhh redacted, sorry

three / ( zodiac sign ): Scorpio

four / ( height ): 5'6″ i think?

five / ( hobbies ): i want to say writing even though i haven’t done any in a while, watching tv shows and movies, cooking

six / ( favorite color ): blue

seven / (favourite books ): i loved the first 2 percy jackson books (those are the only ones i read, i wanna try to read the others at some point though), sherlock holmes and the hound of the baskervilles, pretty much any book about mythologies of all kinds

eight / ( last song listened to ): speechless by naomi scott

nine / ( last film or show watched ): superstore

ten / ( story behind url ): it’s a very basic url tbh but i can’t bring myself to change it because i’ve had it since the very beginning of this blog. the ‘of ro.mania’ part is pretty obvious, but the reason i chose ‘wolf’ is because i was really into the whole Da.cian part of Ro’s history and i wanted that to show through the url first. i also made it a big deal out of my interpretation of Ro that he was Da.cia itself, not a child of it. the idea is that wolves were sacred animals to the Da.cian people, and as a result the url is what it is today

eleven / ( inspiration for muse ): the country itself i guess? i just thought ‘why not give it a go at rp-ing my own country’ and then bam! this blog appeared

tagged by: @bates--boy (thank you! <3)

tagging: uhhh anyone who hasn’t done this (i’m late so i think most folks have already done this)

#ooc

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khorazir · 5 years ago

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Hi Khorazir, I am a huge fan of your writing and drawing and I am almost jealous of your double-talent. I have enjoyed Enigma (and Slipstream) tremendously for the way you depict emotion and thought processes. What do you think about one writer after the other jumping onto the GO wagon? I for my part am so fond of our Baker Street boys and can't imagine "abandoning" them just because the show is over and something new comes along. Huge thank you for your work!

Hi, and thanks a lot for your message and your kind words about my fanfics and art.

As for people from the Sherlock fandom finding solace and inspiration in Good Omens, well, to some extend I can’t blame them. Many are still burnt by S4 and are now finding many of the things they were hoping for in Good Omens. I myself have been a fan of the Good Omens book for many years and have enjoyed the series, which I think is a brilliant adaptation of the book.

Strangely, some crossover art aside, it hasn’t inspired me to read or write fic, or create more (and more "shippy") Good Omens art. I think the main reason for me is that I’m happy with what’s in the book and in the series and I don’t feel the acute need or inspiration to contribute or fix anything. Certainly not in the same way it happened with Sherlock or the works of JRR Tolkien. Still, I don’t blame people who do feel that need, or to express their love for the book/show. There are some who latch onto everything that’s new and popular, stay with it for a bit, and move on. Others are more steady and stay in a particular fandom for years, even decades. It’s just how people tick, I guess. Sometimes you get sucked into a fandom and there’s little you can do to resist.

As for people leaving fandoms and finding something new, it happens all the time. I’ve been in the BBC fandom almost right from the beginning, and after each new season some fans left while new ones joined. People also left the Sherlock fandom for other shows that came along, such as Stephen Universe, the Hobbit films, Yuuri on Ice, or they stopped writing Sherlock fanfic because they were working on original stuff, got book deals etc. This kind of change is a natural thing in not just fandoms, but real life, too. It is sad when it happens, particularly when a fandom loses talented people whose works you enjoy, but there is little one can do to prevent it.

Experience also shows that often, people don’t leave forever. The Sherlock Holmes fandom has been around for over a century. Other fandoms such as the X-Files have been alive and thriving for decades. Folks are still writing fanfics for shows such as Remington Steele, despite the series ending in the late 1980s. People come and go, and sometimes return. So while I totally understand your disappointment and fear of a fandom bleeding out, I live in the hope that BBC Sherlock fandom will yet stay around for a good while. I for one don’t intend to leave, not when I have a fanfic to finish and several others still to write. I’m not done with the Baker Street Boys yet, and I know of many others who feel the same. New people will discover the series and join and enrich the fandom, while those who right now find joy and solace with Good Omens might return in time.

#sherlock #sherlock fanart #good omens #fandom #writing

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twobitmulder · 6 years ago

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Modern Day Dracula Fan Cast

Whether your particular poison is Sherlock, Elementary, or Watson and Holmes (which is a comic that’s worth looking at if you like Sherlock Holmes) you can’t deny that the idea of modern day Sherlock Holmes really works. I think the reason for that, beyond just having strong, archetypal characters, is that the original Sherlock Holmes stories were very modern at the time. It was a scientist applying the latest methods to crime solving in a world where the police ran like that John Mulaney bit about getting away with murder in olden times.

Somewhere along the way we got stuck in the Victorian conception of it, but it’s got the soul of modernity to it. Another novel that has the soul of modernity to it but has been locked to the period, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (not to be confused with the film Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which I do not care for the most part, though I bear no ill will to those who do). The world has sort of latched onto it as a Romantic era story about a brooding vampire and swooning maidens, but it really is more of an enlightenment story. I’d compare it to Pacific Rim or Ghostbusters which are films about regular folk (primarily young folk in the case of the former) who apply science and friendship to defeat old world evil (admittedly among other uncomfortable Victorianisms).

That’s the adaptation I want to see, where a band of young people join together with science and friendship to defeat the avatar of an outmoded, parasitic medieval worldview.

So here’s the cast….

Mina Murray(-Harker): Saoirse Ronan

Stoker was Irish, Murray is an Irish name, and so I think that it’s fitting for the co-star of this movie to be Irish as well. I don’t think anybody can doubt Ronan’s acting chops at this point so I’ll just say that I think she’s got the ability to be kindly and strong, and be the one to take charge of the Crew of Light (which is the badass name the heroes call themselves in the novel).

John Harker: John Boyega

I don’t think I’m the first person to say Boyega would be a great Johnathan. Based on Star Wars alone Boyega can pull off Harker’s mix of “what the F—k is happening” and “touch my friends and I’ll put a Kukri through your neck.” This character has been done wrong throughout decades of film and stage shows and I think Boyega would be perfect to make the character the active, brave, down to earth, kind and loving husband of the novel.

Lucy Westenra: Lily James

Lucy, another character that has been, in my opinion at least, misinterpreted by most adapters. I picture Lucy as Mina’s upper class best friend. A little more deliberately glamorous but a total sweetheart who we believe the Crew of Light would band together to avenge. The idea of an actual Disney Princess in the role of Lucy is a pretty solid way of looking at the character.

Doctor Jackie Seward: Hannah John-Kamen

Yes, I think Seward should be a woman. The cast needs to an overhaul so it’s not all dudes and one Mina once Lucy dies. Kamen has the capability to play a sort of brooding badassery that works for Seward. Seward is a character who is dealing with rejection, being overworked, and probably dealing with some kind of clinical depression but rises to occasion and teams up with the man her ex-girlfriend was going to marry to make sure nobody has to go through it again.

Arthur Holmwood: Tom Felton

As much as I don’t want this to be a total angst-fest, I think Arthur doesn’t really have much of an arc in the novel. Felton can obviously play upper class Englishman and sort of dorky friendly guy (watch his later episodes of the Flash). I think he could also play an Arthur that slowly breaks down at all the loss until he lets the rest of the Crew of Light support him and ends the movie a little more world weary, but ultimately standing upright.

Quincey Morris: Lucas Till

Guy’s actually Texan, which is fun. I’m mostly basing this on his role as Havoc, but I do think he’s got it in him to play Arthur’s supportive, adventurer best friend, who bonds with everyone and sacrifices himself for John and Mina. Just a fun, friendly action hero in the middle of a survival horror thriller.

Abraham Van Helsing: Mark Hamill

I’m sure he can do the accent, and he’s definitely got the look. I imagine him doing a variation on old Luke Skywalker in TLJ. Someone who knows more than the young people around him, who’s hurting from loss and past mistakes (remember book Van Helsing lost a son and has a wife struggling with mental illness) and ultimately gives his charges the tools they need to save the world on their own.

RM Renfield: Bill Skarsgard

I know Renfield should be older, but I have two points. Firstly, I think it’s fun if Dracula ends up enthralling more of an impressionable young person. Second, just look at that picture. That’s Renfield.

Count Dracula: Hugo Weaving

Credit for this one to my friend Ed. Picture him doing Agent Smith crossed with Elrond in Red Skull’s voice. No sexy Dracula (nothing against Mister Weaving), just a dark, menacing, towering figure with a powerful voice looking down on everyone around him.

#dracula #mina harker #johnathan harker #mina murray #dr. seward #Arthur Holmwood #Quincey Morris #abraham van helsing #renfield #Fan Cast #modern day Dracula #Bram Stoker

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