#there is a LOT in here but these passages jumped out to me. do read it all though

[torukmaktoskxawng]

'anla - part two

Series Masterlist

Summary: Life on the reef has started to change the Sully kids for the better, while a storm looms overhead. Certain teenagers are in denial of each other.

Pairing: Ao'nung/Fem!Na'vi!Sully Reader

Warnings: Mature language, teenagers acting their age, time skips, strict parents, puppy love, canon compliance, slow burn, etc.

Word Count: 5k+

Tag: #'anla ao'nung fic

Na'vi Words: nivi - hammocks, marui - homes, ilu - dolphin like creatures, tulkun - whale like creatures, tsurak - skimwings, Sänrr Rong - the Glow Tunnel, spä - jump, olo'eyktan - clan leader, sa'sem - parents, Iknimaya - Rite of Passage, tsahik - spiritual leader, tsakarem - tsahik in training, tsmukan - brother, Utraya Moktri - Metkayina Spirit Tree, kuru - braid neural queue, fpxafaw - medusa

Taglist (red indicates "could not tag"): @timotheechalametishot @ghost-lantern @shadowmoonlight0604 @melsunshine @ocd-onut @purennn @themostegotisticalgirl124 @notsochillnerd @athenachu @yhern05 @amortencjja

A/N: I tagged everyone from the comment section of the first chapter who was excited or asking for part two. I couldn't respond to them in the comment section because this is a secondary account, so if you do or don't want to be on the taglist, please let me know via ask box or dm, thank you!

read it here on ao3

(I do not consent to my works being reposted or copied)

Kiri had woken shortly after, crying, but was otherwise unharmed and showing no signs what happened had affected her. They gave her a day to recover in their home while the rest of the Sullys went about their day normally, sending Norm and Max away with heartfelt goodbyes and returning to the sea life they had started to grow accustomed to. 

Lo'ak and Y/n were put in charge of plucking barnacles off the bottom of canoes for the afternoon, and the young boy takes the time to avoid silence and boredom, "So what are you doing with Ao'nung?"

Y/n doesn't react or even bother looking up from her handiwork, "What do you mean?"

"I mean when did you guys become friends?"

She looked up then, puzzled as she stared at her younger brother, "I'm confused. Weren't we trying to all be friends?"

Lo'ak paused from working for a moment, shrugging, "Well, we were trying to just earn their respect and get along, but yeah, I guess we did come out as friends."

"I guess we're full of surprises."

"But the other night, you guys were being... weird."

Y/n huffed with mirth, "Look who's talking."

"Shut up." He snarled, "Have you guys been hanging out a lot?"

"Not really. Just a few times lately."

"Is that where you were the other night? This... Arch?"

"Yeah. Ao'nung said he had something to show me."

Lo'ak's expression goes blank, "Y/n. Dad taught us to literally never follow someone just because they said they have something to show you. He called it 'stranger danger' or something like that."

She tossed a barnacle at him, "Is this coming from the boy who willingly followed Ao'nung and his friends beyond the reef?"

"... Okay. Fine. You win."

"Besides, Ao'nung didn't phrase it like that. It was a lot less creepy."

"So why didn't he invite the rest of us to the Arch?"

"You guys had already gone for the day so he just took me." Y/n then reached over to mess with Lo'ak's hair, earning an annoyed hiss and she smiles, "Don't look too closely at it, alright? We're friends now."

~~~~~~~~~

A peaceful morning where the Sullys find themselves rolling up their nivi after a night's rest is interrupted by a horn, followed by whoops and hollers of celebration coming from outside. Confused and on edge, Jake and the kids emerge from the marui, looking around as the Metkayina jump around and dive into the water, making the newcomers curious as to what was going on.

Their answer came in the form of Tsireya, astride an ilu as she waves down her people from the water below their homes, "The tulkun have returned! Everybody! Our brothers and sisters have returned!"

Y/n looked up toward the atoll walls protecting the village from less docile nature. Emerging from the tunnels and pathways were rolling waves indicating something large underneath the water. Spurts of seaspray spring out like geysers from beneath the ocean's surface. It was a large pod of whale-like creatures, massive and slow. Their descent onto the village was graceful and one that brought much joy to the Metkayina as they couldn't get in the water fast enough.

The Sully kids couldn't wait either, jumping from the walkway around their home and into the water below. They scatter, exploring the new creatures one way or another. Tsireya had grabbed Lo'ak when she spotted him and pulled him onto her ilu, swimming away to introduce him to her Spirit Sister. Jake summoned his tsurak and both he and Neytiri take off to observe the sacred animals themselves. Rotxo had come around and pulled Kiri and Tuk away too, leaving the twins to their own devices. Ao'nung was not far behind his friend, inviting Neteyam and Y/n to come along with him to find his own Spirit Brother. All three teenagers grab an ilu and take off, making a game of chase with Ao'nung in the lead.

They weave through and around the large bodies of tulkun, dodging other ilu and Na'vi while keeping close to Ao'nung the entire time. He leads them through the chaos expertly, the three teenagers swimming quickly around a particular tulkun. Kiri, Tuk, and Rotxo were hanging onto the bull's fin and gliding peacefully through the water, the tulkun likely the reef boy's Spirit Brother. Neteyam and Y/n are only able to catch a glimpse of this as they swim by, keeping close to Ao'nung's tail until he slows down in front of a particular bull. This tulkun didn't have tattoos yet, much like Ao'nung as he signed to the twins, "My Spirit Brother."

Neteyam drifts close to the creature's eye, signing, "Greetings, mighty tulkun."

"I See you, Forest Brother." The tulkun sang as his form of speaking, and luckily, having had enough lessons, Neteyam and Y/n were able to grasp the old language.

Y/n ditched her ilu and swam up next, signing effortlessly, "I See you, Great Spirit Brother of Ao'nung."

"Hello, Forest Sister. I See you."

Ao'nung's hand gestures were too fast, and the twins were unable to read them but they had no need. The signing was not for them as Ao'nung was trying to relay a season's worth of events to his Spirit Brother, more excited than either Omatikaya have ever seen him. Ao'nung was smiling softly, and brightly as he tried to tell a story only to stumble over his own way of telling it. The tulkun in front of him chimed in as his way of laughing, urging the Na'vi boy to slow down. Y/n managed to pick up some of the gestures after Ao'nung slowed, not missing the words 'Sky People', 'Forest People', and 'new friends'.

Neteyam took a break to swim up and get some air, but Y/n managed to stay underwater a little longer. She didn't want to miss a second of this adorable interaction, and somehow found herself roped in it when the tulkun turned its eye to her.

"Ao'nung tells me that you are a mighty warrior, Y/n te Suli Neytiri'ite."

"He's being nice in your presence," Y/n signed back with a grin, "I have seen war but not been a part of it. I am too young. I am a hunter at best."

Neteyam, still treading water at the surface, takes a deep breath and simply dunks his face underwater, looking back down to locate Y/n and Ao'nung. He found them below, right where he had left them with the bull tulkun. Y/n was signing to the creature, keeping herself swimming next to his eye while Ao'nung floated off to the side, watching them. Neteyam didn't miss the way Ao'nung was staring at her, yet again, when she was not looking. The reef boy's face was calm, his lips relaxing into a soft, carefree smile, never taking his eyes off the Na'vi girl.

That evening was full of celebration, music and dancing a central part of it. Bonfires lined up the beach where the village people could still be close to their ocean brothers and sisters. Late night dives through bioluminescent waves, sending scattered stars up to the sky whenever a splash was made or a tulkun jumped through the air, cascading back down into the water.

Ao'nung kept Neteyam and Y/n with him most of the evening, adamantly talking about his Spirit Brother and the stories exchanged between them. At one point, the three of them were sitting on the edge of a rock fixture, their toes in the water below as they watched the tulkun dancing around in the distance. Neteyam rolled his eyes lightheartedly at a certain part of Ao'nung's story where his mischief had got the best of him. The Omatikaya boy took a moment to glance at his sister, then looked away-- only to double-check when he saw something that intrigued him.

Y/n was watching Ao'nung with a tender expression, her smile sweet and fond as her eyes locked onto every hand gesture and every laugh Ao'nung made, who was clearly unaware of her stares throughout his story-telling. She laughed and nodded whenever she was supposed to in between tales, urging the boy on when he knew he had an avid listening audience. Neteyam smiled, too, though he was sure it wasn't for the same reasons his sister was smiling.

~~~~~~~~~ 

After that fateful day, Ao'nung invited Neteyam and Y/n to everything. They spent whole afternoons together, sometimes sitting around on the rocks, soaking up the sun while they exchanged stories. After hearing all of Ao'nung's tales between him and his Spirit Brother, either one or both twins would tell him stories from the forest growing up. They told him everything, from their childhood to recent events before they had left their home. Ao'nung was actually a good listener if one sat him down to do so. He nodded in acknowledgment and asked questions between appropriate breaks in the stories. Neteyam could tell how much Y/n appreciated this side of Ao'nung, the girl perking up and gladly answering whatever questions he had. At the end of the day, Neteyam couldn't recall if he ever answered any of Ao'nung's questions himself, but he didn't have the heart to care.

The three were also fond of hunting together and sometimes brought Rotxo and Lo'ak along, this time within the reef and with higher spirits. Some days they would mess around too much and wouldn't catch anything, other times they used their newfound friendship and teamwork to coordinate and bring home enough fish to feed all their families combined.

Ao'nung and Y/n decide to bring all the kids to Sänrr Rong. Tuk was the more ecstatic out of all of them, but everyone was delighted by this new place they could use as a hideout away from their parents. This time, they got a chance to cliff dive from the very top of the arch. The reef kids showed them the path up but were shocked to watch the Sully kids effortlessly climb up the rock as if they were born to do so. Even Tuk showed zero signs of exhaustion as she took a stable vine hand and scurried up it like a monkey. The Omatikaya children were clearly faster and more agile climbers than the Metkayina and therefore made it to the top before the locals even had a chance.

"We'll throw you down a vine so you can catch up," Y/n jeers as she pointedly climbed over Ao'nung.

The reef boy hissed, though it appeared to be playful as he makes a point to tug her tail as she passed him. Y/n hissed back and made sure to gently shove his big forehead with her toes as she climbed before leaping out of reach. They all eventually make it to the top of the cliff, hair whipping wildly in the unforgivable winds, then the reef kids stood over the edge, looking down at the ocean water below.

"Okay! Everyone ready?" Tsireya beamed with excitement.

"For what?" Lo'ak questioned.

"SPÄ!" Rotxo hoots to the clouds as he jumps off the ledge, straightening his legs and stiffening his posture as he falls-- falls-- falls--

SPLASH.

"Who's next?" Ao'nung grinned.

Lo'ak was closest to the edge, peering over and even squinting when he couldn't spot Rotxo all the way down there, wadding in the sea, "Has anyone died doing this?"

The reef boy laughed, "If you wanna be the first, then don't stiffen your form as Rotxo did. Flail about like a screaming baby."

"Me next!" Tuk squealed.

"NO!" All four of her siblings, including Tsireya, shout in different ranges of emotion, such as fear, amusement, and seriousness.

The little girl stomps her foot, pouting as she crossed her arms, "Then why am I even here?"

"To keep me company," Y/n cut in, tugging her baby sister's arm until the shorter girl is pressed into her side. Y/n holds her tight while carefully watching the cliff, being sure to stay close to the middle and away from all edges.

"Aw, Forest Girl, you are scared," Ao'nung laughs, clapping his hands together once in amusement, "I thought you liked to fly?"

She glares at him, sticking her nose up in the direction of the cliff's edge, "That's not flying. It's falling."

Needless to say, Y/n and Tuk didn't do any cliff diving and left that to their other siblings. Kiri went first after Tsireya offered to go with her. Holding hands, the girls jump, screaming and laughing with both delight and horror. Neteyam paced along the edge of the cliff until he watched Kiri's head rise from the water, then relaxed. Once Ao'nung dared the Sully boys to race to the bottom, they were suddenly all for it, jumping off at the same time. Ao'nung took his time and teetered over the edge, grinning when he watched how nervous Y/n shuffled, keeping Tuk close to her side. The future olo'eyktan pretended to lose his balance, earning a laugh from Little Tuk and a scowl from Y/n before Ao'nung also jumped, hitting the water with practiced ease and a laugh still bubbling in his throat.

They climbed up and jumped back down several times, each time trying to persuade Y/n to jump. She put her foot down every time, even when her twin Neteyam offered to either go with her or stay with Tuk. Still, Y/n would not give into the peer pressure and Tuk was miserable by the time they returned home, squawking to her parents while stating that no one would let her cliff dive. Jake and Neytiri exchanged looks and appeared grateful when they nod to their older children with approval.

~~~~~~~~~

The Sully kids' lessons continue as usual, the older ones now granted permission to hunt in groups outside the reef if they pleased. Once they were fluent in signing, they learned to strengthen their knowledge in communicating with the tulkun for the next time. Their knowledge was tested when Tsireya, Ao'nung, and Rotxo refused to talk to them unless they used and perfected the language through signing. When Jake and Neytiri call their children home every night, they often find them sitting silently among each other, only using hand motions to communicate.

Many times, the group of friends return to the Glow Tunnel, to have fun or to enjoy the silence. Each time they all gathered at the center of the village, ready to go back to the Arch, everyone was so eager. All except one particular day, when Lo'ak was nowhere to be found once it was time to go. His absence did not go unnoticed. While Kiri decided to bring Tuk home, the others volunteered to go look for him, and hopefully, he wasn't in trouble like last time. With their newfound hunting party privileges, they go swimming beyond the reef in search of the Omatikaya boy.

They stumble upon Lo'ak by chance, and he wasn't alone. Swimming around him was an impressive tulkun, the left side of the bull scarred and missing a fin. Payakan. Neteyam and Y/n look at each other, worried, while the reef children watch curiously. Payakan and Lo'ak swam around each other like dancers, graceful and practiced. Then, the tulkun turned, fully facing Lo'ak, and opened his mouth, jaw unhinging to reveal the dark cave within. Lo'ak willingly swam in, and Payakan closed his mouth behind him. The twins went to scurry out of hiding as they watched this happen, but both Tsireya and Ao'nung stop them while Rotxo looked on, amazed.

Tsireya went on to further explain that Payakan had chosen Lo'ak to form tsaheylu, and while she appeared proud and excited at the idea, Ao'nung and Rotxo exchanged uncertain glances. Y/n had noticed this exchange, reaching out and grabbing Ao'nung's shoulder, forcing him to look back at her. When the reef boy met her curious gaze, she made movements in the water with her hands, "What is wrong?"

Ao'nung shakes his head and signs back, "Sa'sem will not be pleased."

They definitely were not. Once Lo'ak returned home with the other teenagers, word spread fast and reached Tonowari's ears. Together, he and Ronal round up the teens and brought them to their marui to have a stern lecture, berating the Metkayina children for allowing Lo'ak to bond with the tulkun outcast. It didn't go well as Lo'ak was adamant about Payakan being misunderstood and how he wasn't a killer, even by the Tulkun Way. Jake Sully refused to let his son explain and took him away to straighten him out, but the damage had already been done. Neytiri gathered the twins and followed the father and troubled son home.

They hadn't gone to the communal meal that night, instead, they ate together at home, as a family. Jake was certain that the Metkayina would only receive Lo'ak coldly should they turn up there now, so he suggested that they wait until things cooled down before returning to the village dinners. The Sullys' absence was missed that night, mostly by the children who had slowly become their friends.

Y/n was distressed when her family stayed close to their home the next morning, her father ordering the children to stay near and don't go further beyond the walkways of the village. It felt like a prison sentence to be stuck in one place when it was such a beautiful day out. Neytiri promised her children that they can move on with their lives tomorrow once Jake had calmed down and she spoke to him, but for now, "Listen to your father."

"I see that if one sibling gets punished, we all get punished now," Y/n snarled to Neteyam when she found a moment alone with her twin. Neytiri took Jake hunting with her so that they may talk, while the twins were ordered to look after their younger siblings for the night. Lo'ak and the girls went to sleep not long after their parents had gone, but the oldest son and daughter remained wide awake, talking quietly to one another just outside the marui.

Neteyam exhaled air through his nose, squinting at the dark ink of water in the distance, absently swinging one leg off the side of the walkway, "You don't mean that."

"No?"

"You're just saying that because you've been stuck here with all of us today, unable to go anywhere."

He turned and clocked the snarl on her nearly identical face, her eyebrow hairs furrowing together while she looked away, rocking herself by her heels, "I hate it."

Neteyam smiled fondly, "I know you do. You always hated small spaces. I can see why you like this place better than home."

A pregnant pause hangs in the air over the twins, the only sounds around them being the water and the village, still stirring with life as things begin to settle down. Y/n doesn't look back at Neteyam, sitting on his words for a moment until she slowly turns back, expression blank and immovable, "I don't like this place better than home. I miss home."

"Of course you do. Doesn't change the fact that you're far more free here than you were back there. You've adjusted well here, even if Dad doesn't see it," Neteyam leans over and pats his sister's knee, "He doesn't see how fast you caught onto the Metkayina ways, he just sees all the times we screwed up."

Her ears flatten as she glares at him through her eyelids, unimpressed, "You mean how Lo'ak screwed up."

"We, Y/n. We."

She rolls her sharp, yellow eyes, "If anything, Dad should be proud of him. Bonding with a tulkun is a young Metkayina's first step to their Iknimaya."

"And only you would know that because you've gotten so accustomed here."

She winced, batting his hand from her knee, "You can't talk like this when one day we're just gonna be heading home again. Stop it now. Talk less about how much we like this place and it might hurt less when we eventually leave."

"Do you want to leave?" He cocks his head, eyes scanning her face for an answer.

"... I want to see the forest again."

"That's not what I asked."

"... Do you?"

"Yes."

Y/n's eyes squint, confused, "Why?"

"I have nothing here."

"You have us. You have our friends."

"Yes, but that's all," Neteyam looks around and Y/n follows his gaze, "You have the ocean, the plant life, the sea life. The ilu, the Sänrr Rong-- everything. You love everything about this place. I only love the people. Don't get me wrong. It's a beautiful paradise and I loved experiencing every part of it... but I want to go home. I felt more at peace there."

"At peace?" The twin girl scowled, "We were at war, 'Teyam."

"Yes." She doesn't miss the way his eyes darken a shade, expression hardening into stone as he glares back out to the sea, "But war is what I was trained for."

The silence is chilling this time, Y/n's heart dropping to her stomach as guilt runs through her veins. Even as twins, Neteyam was still the older brother. He and Y/n might have been conceived during a war, but Neteyam had been bred for it, whether or not their parents realized this. Before Kiri was in the picture and before either she or Y/n had their own voices, Y/n was the one expected to be the next tsahik. With Little Y/n learning the Will of Eywa from her grandmother, Neteyam was learning to be the next olo'eyktan. He had to learn to be strong quick, to hunt quick, to think quick. Even when Y/n finally put her foot down and passed the torch of tsakarem to Kiri, she couldn't catch up to all Neteyam had already learned. She wasn't able to share that burden with her twin, and that guilt hung heavy in her heart.

"... That's not a good thing, tsmukan." She spoke gently, even her whisper sounding like a drum in the silence, "There's more to life than fighting."

"I know," Neteyam's posture shrinks, defeated, his smile not quite reaching his eyes when he glances back to Y/n, "But I haven't found what that 'more' is yet. Not for me at least... You did."

"I did?" She tilts her head curiously.

A glint sparkles in Neteyam's eye, like he knew a secret that not even his twin knew. His tail swings behind him with interest, teasing when he nudged her leg with his shoulder, "Ao'nung is good for you. And you're good for him."

He caught the flash in her eye. The flash of understanding behind the meaning of his words. The flash is there one moment and then gone the next. Y/n shifts uncomfortably in her sitting posture and nods, "He's a good friend."

"He is." Neteyam chuckles, "For me. For Lo'ak, and Kiri, and Tuk. But not for you. For you, he's 'more.'"

Quiet surrounds them once again, Y/n glaring down at her feet as if she had been caught stealing treats from Norm. She looked ashamed and belittled, likely wishing her own brother didn't know everything about her even before she knew those things herself. She swallows down whatever emotion came to mind before she looked up, stubbornly staring Neteyam down,

"I don't need 'more'. I just need this. This family is all I need."

~~~~~~~~~

The Sully family had been tense ever since Lo'ak bonded with Payakan, speaking few and far in between words to one another if found in the same space. It wasn't much significance to them whether or not Lo'ak had bonded with the outcast, but to Jake, it was all about principle. Whether or not the family was proud or disappointed in Lo'ak's accomplishment had not been said, but something heavy was floating in the air, like the calm before the storm. The idea of war was still fresh at the very back of their minds, ever looming like a vulture, waiting to strike. Something had changed the other night, shifting into place, deciding the Sullys' fates. Although, no one knew what kind of fate, and that unsettled them.

Unlike the rest of her family, however, Y/n wanted to do something about it. She started by finding the one person she knew would help her, "Take me to the Cove of the Ancestors."

Ao'nung looked up from sharpening his spear, ears immediately rising to the sound of her voice. He tilts his head and forms a closed-mouth smile, though his eyes squint in confusion, trying to solve whatever puzzle he found on Y/n's face, "Why?"

"Because you said you would take me there," Y/n quipped back, taking the spear out of his hands and backing away, "I'm cashing in the offer."

"What is 'cashing?'" He stood up, following her with his arm out, only half-heartedly trying to take the spear back from the Omatikaya girl.

When she purposely kept the weapon out of his reach, Ao'nung smirked, taking a huge step forward so he could stare smugly down at her with their subtle height difference. They were close, close enough to share the same air, and despite Neteyam's words playing back in her head, despite the shame and guilt in her gut, Y/n stomped it down and stood strong.

"It means I want you to stand behind your word." She matches his grin with one of her own, ignoring the heat threatening to rise up to her face as she purposely kept eye contact, "You promised to take me to the Cove. I want you to keep your promise."

She stepped away then, never taking her eyes off him until she fully turned back in the direction she came, walking away with the spear still in hand. She could feel his eyes on her, a thrill running up her spine at the mental image of it. An even bigger thrill, the one led by a horn of victory in her head, went through her whole body when she heard Ao'nung dutifully following her without complaint and without question.

They summoned nearby ilu and fled without another word. They dive down deep into the water and only resurfaced when they had left the sea wall and village behind. Once Y/n inhaled the crisp air, she tosses the spear back to Ao'nung, who effortlessly caught it with a grin of excitement and promise, "Follow me."

~~~~~~~~~

A feeling of familiarity took hold of Y/n when she emerged from the water and looked up to find floating islands all around her. An instant smile graces her face, looking around at all the floating rocks, surrounding a wide circle of water at the center of spectacularly arched rocks easily identifying this sacred place. It wasn't entirely like the Hallelujah Mountains. These floating islands were smaller and floated horizontally, like large stepping stones leading up to the heavens above.

Ao'nung emerged and looked around, unimpressed, "This is it."

"It's beautiful."

He shrugged, "It's not much."

"To you, maybe," she grinned while pointing up at the floating rocks, "To me, I see the potential of kicking your ass climbing up those islands."

He laughed, "Careful what you wish for, Forest Girl."

"Is the Tree on one of those islands?"

"Nope." He smiles slyly, "I'll give you another guess though."

She flashed an odd look before looking around, finally staring down below, into the water. Ao'nung dismounted from his ilu and drifted over to Y/n, "Remember, I'm just acting as your diving partner today. We always have to pair up here. One has to watch over and monitor the other while they connect to our ancestors. Got it?" She nods. "Let's go."

The Na'vi girl sinks into the water with him and they submerge after she takes a deep breath. They swim down, side by side, as they approach the large, underwater Spirit Tree. Instead of limbs hanging down like Y/n was used to, this tree's arms reached up, flowing in the water like an overlarge, glowing anemone. Y/n reaches out and gently touches one of the luminous, graceful fronds, smiling to herself when it tickled her palm to greet her.

Ao'nung chirps low in his throat, like a baby crocodile, to grab Y/n's attention. When she turned her head in his direction, he moves his hands about, "The Tree is called Utraya Mokri. It gives breath when the kuru is connected."

Y/n nods in understanding, reaching behind and taking her braid in hand. She gently offers the tendrils to reach out and curl into the ones belonging to the Tree and closed her eyes.

Ao'nung dutifully keeps watch while Y/n connects with his ancestors. The Tree glows and looms beautifully over him, but he's not paying attention. He's seen the Tree hundreds of times and while it is beautiful, it's nothing new. Y/n, on the other hand, is new, and his attention would rather fixate on her than the Tree he's grown bored of over his young life. Her braided hair floats around her like fpxafaw, and her tail, usually dormant, twitches occasionally in response to the bond. Her fingers, all five of them, still delicately hold her braid to the Tree's fronds. Her hands weren't as strange as Ao'nung initially thought. In many ways, he reasoned the extra finger was good for some things-- like the punch Lo'ak fooled him into taking. If nothing else, an extra finger just means more to hold.

Y/n's body jolts and Ao'nung is torn from his traitorous thoughts. He swims forward and wraps his whole hand around her arm and then her kuru lets go of the Tree. Y/n's eyes flutter, still closed, a little dazed and overwhelmed from the whole experience as expected. With Ao'nung's support, she's brought back up to the surface and she slowly remembers to breathe again, now that she didn't have the Spirit Tree to aid her. The two young Na'vi stay there, treading water as Y/n catches her breath, and once her head is no longer foggy, her eyes appeared saddened, an expression that irritated Ao'nung for some reason.

"Not what you were expecting?" He asked light-heartedly.

"It's just..." she shook her head, bottom lip pouting with her eyes lowered, the water reaching up to kiss her chin, "I was hoping for answers."

He didn't ask, but maybe he should have. It's something that would continue to gnaw at him as the rain clouds float overhead. It would gnaw at him as he expressed on returning home before the storm, it would gnaw at him as their swim back resulted in silence and pouring rain. It would continue to gnaw at him as they approached the village, his ears rising to attention when the horn sounds, his blood cooling in fear and worry.

"Find your family."

"Why?" Y/n asked as her ears lowered in concern, loose hairs plastered to her forehead, "What's wrong?"

"It's a war cry. My father has called for a war meeting."

A/N: Not sure when 'part three' will be out, but it'll likely be longer than normal. Thank you so much for all the support and love I have seen from my very first Avatar work! It motivates me to continue doing what I love!

part three

[dogw1tch]

Escapism 🍂 Pt. Two

18+ Minotaur x gender neutral Reader

(Breeding, size difference, reader has afab anatomy)

Part one here <3

Dogwitch notes: So this is becoming more of a story now. I guess there’s going to be three parts then… maybe more who knows? If you’re not in the mood to read plot the spicy stuff starts after the *** . Alsooo I’m working on a self indulgent sci-fi story next so part three might take a bit. Thank you for all the love btw! I appreciate it a lot!

Summary: You’ve seemingly become fated to a monstrous lover from a different world. It’s a lot to take in, perhaps a shower might clear your mind? But as the water runs over your body, it starts to bring back memories.

You awoke slowly, your back stiff and head pounding. It took you a few moments to gather your bearings as you tried to remember where you were. The library bright and quiet around you, much less imposing in the midday sun and you looked to the desk to see your book, neatly arranged with your translation papers. A dream then. It must have been. You fell asleep with your book and, imagined you were being ravished by the monster within. How embarrassing, you thought. Still, it was strange that nobody had woken you up, surely the librarian would have caught you and figured out that you had snuck in after dark. Or maybe he simply didn’t mind- you hadn’t caused any harm after all. Maybe he even appreciated your academic enthusiasm. The library was still empty it seemed, though after a Friday night at the university that wasn’t particularly surprising. You stretched and began to sit up, cringing as your muscles twinged in pain until you felt something strange. You weren’t wearing any trousers. Had you kicked them off while you were dreaming? If so that was even more embarrassing. But as you moved you realised that the whole lower half of your body and the chair you sat on was completely covered in some kind of half-dried liquid.

Not a dream.

You jumped up, pulling the blanket around you to hide your undress and tried to come to terms with what this meant. A fictional monster had come out of your book and mated you before disappearing and you hadn’t even really questioned it.

“Oh you’re awake!” The voice startled you and you whipped your head around, brandishing your novel to defend yourself from this surprise intruder. Xander, the librarian, stumbled backwards, gingerly holding out a pair of pyjama trousers for you to take. “Hey it’s all good, don’t worry, I’ll explain what’s happening- it’s alright!” He stuttered, looking genuinely afraid of you. You’d never paid much attention to his face but looking at him now he seemed utterly exhausted. The bags under his eyes were deep purple and his hair was an unbrushed mess- not that you were fairing much better right now. You lowered your weapon and took the trousers, shuffling behind a bookshelf to change while Xander covered his eyes. Once you had made yourself decent you joined him sitting on the couch that wasn’t covered in monster cum. He sat awkwardly, clutching a book in his lap that looked strikingly similar to your own. There was a moment of heavy silence where all you could hear was the creaking of the old university. You spoke up first, “so what the hell is happening?” Xander shuffled uncomfortably, not making eye contact.

“Yeah so, that book. I have one too,” he gestured towards the volume, “There’s a few out there. And each book can only be read by one person. I tried to translate yours but it didn’t really work. I knew when you started reading it that it was meant for you just like this one is meant for me.”

“What do you mean no one else can read them? You just need to know latin.”

“How good is your Latin exactly?”

You were a little offended by his tone considering you’d been perfectly able to translate the passages he’d skipped. “Pretty good I would say.”

“Alright,” he opened his own tome to a random page, “read this.” There was a passage of text, accompanied by an etching of a beautiful, muscular Minotaura dressed in fine robes and adorned with a crown of leaves. The text itself was clearly in traditional Latin, and you could recognise the odd word, beast, lover, fate, but as you tried to comprehend the paragraph, the meaning seemed to slip away from you.

“I’m just.. I’m still tired I guess.” Xander shook his head and held up your book, finding a section close to the end that you had yet to translate. “Read this.”

You spoke aloud;

The beast had found his lost lover. And yet they were still worlds apart. The king had manipulated great holes in their mind where there love for the Minotaur had once lay. The only time they seemed to remember their mate was in the throes of passion.

“There, see. I can’t read that,” Xander cut you off, looking a little uncomfortable once again. “But I can read this one. Because this one is for me.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Something happened, a long time ago, some kind of war between humans and monsters. Where once they had existed peacefully together, a powerful king instructed that no monster should have a human lover, insisted it gave them too much control over the human soul. Because once they had mated, their lives would become tied together.” Xander was starting to sound a little crazed now. “So they got separated right? But their souls are bound. So no matter where the souls go next, they’re destined to find each other in the end.”

This all sounded like madness to you, and yet you couldn’t deny the ache in your body and marks on your hips, left by the very real hands of a monstrous lover. “So what? The humans souls traveled to new hosts and the monsters…?”

“They enclosed themselves in old myths and legends and waited for their lovers to find them.” The librarian spoke as though this made complete sense but to you this was clearly the rambling of a lunatic. This had to be some kind of bizarre prank but Xander looked so earnest in his explanation.

“So… your book? That has your… mate inside?” The librarian looked away, his face flushed red.

“She’s been visiting me for a while now, every time it brings back more memories of our life together. I think, eventually, when it all comes back, we’ll be able to go back to the realm our souls came from.” He looked back at you and pressed your book firmly to your chest. “Take it with you… and rest up now, if your lover is anything like mine, I doubt you’ll be getting much sleep.” He smiled apologetically and left you alone, clutching your book, and feeling utterly lost.

***

It was a good job you didn’t have any lectures today and could spend most of your time in your room. You hadn’t opened the book again, you were a little afraid of what might happen. Xander can’t possibly have been telling the truth, but what other explanation could there possibly be. You knew what you’d seen and it had certainly felt so very real; you could feel your body heating from the thought alone. Well, true or not, you decided to follow his advice and get some more rest. But first, a shower was in order. You’d opted for a room with a shared bathroom to save a little money on rent while you studied. They were cleaned every day so it wasn’t so bad. Shedding your sweat soaked shirt and borrowed pyjamas, you stepped into the warm water, sighing as it fell over your body and soothed your aching muscles. You shut your eyes and let the stream run over your face. The sensation bought to mind an image of standing beneath a waterfall, great noise crashing all around you while a summer sun kissed your face. An image of bright flowers you had never seen before, dappled in droplets and shimmering around you. An image of strong arms that pulled you close to a soft, warm chest and hearing a heat that beat only for you.

You didn’t notice the hands that held you close, nor the way you tilted your head to allow soft kisses to be placed up your neck. You didn’t notice anything amiss until you heard that gruff, familiar voice in your ear. “My heart, I know you will remember.” You gasped and tried to spin around but his huge arms held you tight. “I did not mean to startle you. Please, my love, close your eyes, you’re so close to the memories.” His voice was gentle and smooth, relaxing you almost on instinct, and you closed your eyes once more, trying to focus on the feeling of water on your face.

You had been washing your hair in the waterfall, as you had done often in this place. Nobody here seemed shy or ashamed and you were unafraid of another seeing you as you bathed in the cool water. Your lover had approached, wrapping his arms around your body and covering you in kisses. “To see your body like this is a blessing from the gods themselves.” He had said and you smiled coyly, stretching your arm up to touch his face and expose yourself fully for his wandering hands. The beast had grabbed every part of you that he could reach and you could feel as the heat of his cock pressed against your back. You had turned around, his towering stature making you just the right hight to take him into your mouth..

Only when you felt the sensation of warm weight on your tongue did you realise what you were doing. The Minotaur groaned above you, his hand gently guiding your head as you licked and kissed down the length of his cock. There was no way you could take him completely into your mouth so you began to use your hands to stroke him slowly. He bucked his hips, leaving your face nestled at the base, looking up at him with pleading eyes. Just like before you began to crave having him inside you, mating you, taking you completely. His huge hand came down and stroked your face as you opened your mouth wide for him. With two fingers began to gently fuck your mouth, as your own hips began to twitch, craving friction. The steam that filled the bathroom was making you so unbearably hot. The Minotaur began to stroke his cock to the sight of you gagging around his fingers. “We have to train your mouth my love. After all, my mate needs to take me inside them in every way.” You were drooling now, his words making you wet and desperate. He seemed to notice your distress.

“Touch yourself for me, let me see how badly you crave me.” His voice was gentle but still felt commanding in a way that made your body want to obey. You began slowly, rubbing slow circles on your clit, legs shaking and struggling to support you. “Stretch yourself my darling. You want to take me inside you don’t you?” You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes as you drooled around his fingers and used your own to pleasure yourself. “Say it.” He command, his voice echoed around you.

“I want you inside me… I want you to mate me… please..”

The creature growled and pulled your face down on his cock, shoving it into your throat. You could barely take any of the length inside before you were choking but a strong hand on the back of your head held you in place as he fucked into you. His other hand came down between your legs to replace your fingers inside you, curling deep to pull out waves of pleasure. The lack of air in your lungs made you light headed, intensifying every feeling as you grew close to climax. He must have felt it too as you clenched around his thick fingers and he began to push your head further down, thrusting into you without mercy. A final surge of ecstasy washed over you and your vision went white as your monstrous lover released inside you. You tried your best to swallow, to show your mate your appreciation, but there was just too much and you leant back against the wall of the shower as cum dripped down your body.

The Minotaur looked down at you, admiring your body, flushed, marked and claimed. He took you gently in his arms and began to wash you in the running water. You leant into his soft chest as his hands worked lovingly over your body, massaging out any aches and pains. Though as he made his way between your legs, you couldn’t seem to help paying attention to your slick, stretched entrance. He began, almost casually, slipping his fingers back inside, shushing you softly when you let out a quiet moan. “You’ll take one more for me won’t you? I just don’t like to leave my mate empty.” You nod, sleepily and curl up closer to him, nuzzling your face into his fur. He picks you up and starts to pull you down onto the head of his cock. Maybe if you were more coherent, you might have complained that it could not possibly fit but, as you were, you took in as much as you could with a sigh. “There, we’re making progress. You’ll take all of me inside you soon. I’ll keep you full day and night until you feel empty without me inside you. Wont that be good my mate? All you’ll ever need to think about is how good it feels when I fill you up.” You nod, still half asleep as he slowly thrust into you. His movements were un-rushed, like he really wanted to savour the feeling of you around him. All you could do is moan and whimper as your body was stretched wider to take more of your mate inside you. Your hands grips his fur and you pulled yourself as close to his warm body as you could get. Soon enough, his thrusts became more frantic and you couldn’t help but cry out as he emptied inside you once more. The Minotaur kept you in place, even after he’d filled you up and rocked his hips to push his cum back into your over sensitive hole. “I’m going to stay as long as I can my love.” He whispered, “I want my seed to take. So you should sleep. Be rested so you might bare me calfs when we travel home.” You inhaled deeply the musky scent of your lover as the water washed over your skin and you let yourself drift away.

Hopefully nobody else needed to use the bathroom.

[existentialterror]

ARG notes: ZampanioSim, part 2

Hey guys. catfishAnabasis (Light) here, continuing my… uh, ZampanioSim Let’s Play? That’s dumb. My investigation into the Homestuck/Magnus Archives/House of Leaves-inspired alternate reality game ZampanioSim. Read Part 1 first.

Now we have the bare minimum on Zampanio Sim’s format. Actually, we don’t know much and it’s constantly changing, but we at least have an idea of what we’re in for. Cool.

What is the story unfolding within Zampanio Sim?

So we know from the Classpect Menu game, the one that “is” ZampanioSim, that this was an effort to simulate a now-deleted game from the 1970s called Zampanio, based on a now-lost* FAQ on how to play it. At some point, possibly just search engines, I have learned that Eyedol Games is the company that makes Zampanio. Let’s take that going in.

*dubious

A lot of the “routes” off the house at the start of ZampanioSim – see the diagram – are procedurally generated places to explore or are otherwise collections of content. But other have a more directly obvious narrative to them. I have marked these places here.

Let’s go. We'll start... Uh...

…

(Okay, so there’s a recurring meme in ZampanioSim about whether personality-typing you based on whether you traverse labyrinths clockwise or counterclockwise.

But I’m confused about which one that means – like if I’m looking at a drawing of a labyrinth top-down, and I go from the entrance to the right passage, I guess I’m going counterclockwise. But if I were standing in a physical maze, the clockways framing wouldn’t occur to me – I mean, they’re both chiral processes, but like, the hand of a clock moves to the right, so which reference am I taking?

Maybe I’m not cut out for labyrinths. When I’m caving in minecraft I go to the right, so if I’m coming back into the house through the north door, then... I guess:)

We’ll start with the non-existent West Route (accessible by clicking on the west side of the house, where you’d expect a door to be.)

AdventureSimWest

AdventureSimWest is an audience-participation adventure game that, like Problem Sleuth or Early Homestuck, takes suggested commands from an audience that guide a character, and the author tells a story around it. This one has been running for quite some time, so there’s a lot of backlogged material!

AdventureSimWest gives us a lot of info right away. It’s about a character named Peewee, who is hired by Eyedol Games. Peewee and the staff of Eyedol Games are trapped inside a Space Loop. A Space Loop is like a Time Loop except that once you die, physical space (within the loop) and many of the circumstances reset, but its point in time is… not fixed. Peewee is a snakelike alien called a lamia. He first appeared in a different SBURBlike game on FarragoFiction.com called Farragnarok, which he remembers but which I don’t know anything about. He is a COOL GAMER who has lived various other lives including through the destruction of his home planet, Segundia. Keep in mind that he is from a SBURBlike.

Oh, hey, according to an offhand exchange in AdventureSimWest, solving mazes by following the righthand wall means you’re going counterclockwise. Everyone jot that down. We can bootstrap this. We can do this.

I read up through the “JR Rambles about Spoilers” interlude. And it was fun! It’s Peewee’s quirky, haphazard series of adventures in a quirky, sharp universe. The style is fun, self-aware and whimsical. I don’t know how much about the AdventureSimWest lore applies to mainstream Zampanio, especially given the multilayered narrative Zampanio serves up to us like a delicious but concerningly non-Euclidean cake, but some of the characters and concepts appear in other places, and so the worldbuilding might too. Here are some things we learn about the world of AdventureSimWest:

Peewee arrived here from his old universe by jumping into a giant, spiky, magical wall of flesh called an Echidna. He’s actually one of the set of gods who created this universe, but seems to be the only one left.

People central to the space loop remember the space loop exists.

Eyedol Games may have caused or be causing the space loop, but does not appear to be completely in control of it.

The space loop started in 1971 and is spiraling towards the end of the world in 2022.

Eyedol has other employees, including:

Wanda, the “CEBro” and “Lord of Space” (homestuck classpect). She’s tremendously rad and maybe a shapeshifter.

The Intern, a college-aged dude from Ohio, who Wanda is always trying to find and who seems unexpectedly critical to the existence of Eyedol Games. (I might apply a little homestuck logic and guess that he’s the “Muse of Time”, but this is my own speculation.)

The Closer, an aggressive businesslady in a suit and cape

Someone called the Eye Killer, who, like, lives in Eyedol’s basement and kills people.

Flower Chick, some kind of identity-stealing fae, who keeps a copy of Peewee’s skull on her desk.

Quotidians, which are another alien species – these ones are shapeshifting crows and are a hivemind. Many of them are named Tom.

Parker, a “waste”, who has made his business out of learning glitches, hacking, etc, in reality itself.

There are also just two other teams of people who don’t work at Eyedol Games, who both got ejected into some kind of infinite labyrinth around the same time. They have kind of SCP energy. I don’t know what their deal is. Yet.

What about that FAQ?

The mysterious lost ZampanioFAQ actually exists, more or less.

When I found it, it felt like natural game progression: I beat the Classpect Menu game, then there got a link to the official Discord. Then buried in one of the Discord channels, one of the pinned links goes to – yes – THE Zampanio FAQ.

But then it turned out the thing I’d found a link to was a fan-made transcript (by @verbosebabbler) of a different “official” ZampanioFAQ PDF. And through various link-hopping, most of which I now forget, I also found the original PDF on a different website by JR. So I don’t know if I got there the way I was “supposed to” or where else I might otherwise have found the FAQ. But we’re here now!

(The official discord, by the way, does not have talk permissions open in any channel. They are all frozen conversations from years ago, with only a spare few used threads acting as the actual usable channels. So the discord is its own labyrinth too. ITS A-MAZE-ING)

Okay. The ZampanioFAQ. In the frontnote to the FAQ, JR describes this finding a printout of fic they'd read long ago, and sharing it as evidence that they did not invent Zampanio – that this is a sburbsim/glitchFAQ (we’ll get to that, hang tight) crossover fanfic by someone else that they read once, lost, and recently re-found - and that it has a couple indications that it’s referencing Zampanio.

Mostly, contentwise, this FAQ is sort of a interuniversal document about how to play SBURB (the universe-creation game that the characters in Homestuck play), written by a group of players. The Zampanio FAQ has, unfortunately, been heavily redacted by interdimensional forces, perhaps SBURB itself.

It’s like it’s written by a new set of characters who are playing their own game of Sburb. They’re learning about it as they experience it! Haha, that’s a cute gimmick.

Oh, the skull? Yeah, don’t worry about that. Hah, no, I get how it looks. But it's actually totally fine.

The redacted words in the ZampanioFAQ seem mostly to do with certain details of SBURB itself, like SBURB is trying to keep its players from spoilers.

Drawing from VerboseBabbler’s transcript and partial de-redaction of the FAQ, I gave my hand at making what sense I could out of the original PDF.

Excerpt. You may not like it, but this is peak ARG performance: multiple collaborative layers of nested PDF annotation.

--------------

Trying to fill in these blanks made me appreciate the potential of the fan-ARG.

Homestuck is a story that both rewards a lot of knowledge about its worldbuilding and also often doesn't explain itself – I think that’s why it has such intense fanwork, because it implies so much but leaves you to fill in the gaps.

Like, okay, classpects, alright? Fans make a big deal about classpecting and it’s cool but it’s also kind of nothing, like, we get some gestures about what it means but not much. (Quick, what does a mage do?) There’s so much fanon trying to make sense of it that even the wiki explanation is based on fanon. But fanon can be dope and people have done some really, really neat stuff bouncing off of the gaps in canon.

ZampanioSim is about nested realities and missing information, and it's heavily based on specific fanworks of homestuck. And filling in missing information on this document, I could use my knowledge of Homestuck to make inferences about this related-but-separate storyline and worldbuilding. That’s so cool!

In the same way that the best fanfiction draws from and interacts repeatedly with canon, the fan-ARG can act as a commentary on or a dialogue with its sources - a story made stronger by connection to another.

There have been other fan ARGs and this is really my first experience with the genre (well - does EverymanHYBRID count as a fanwork? discuss), but like, holy shit, I get it now.

-----------------

Okay, let’s regroup. So the FAQ is a bunch of advice written collaboratively by a group of people playing SBURB. The FAQ is about a kind of SBURB that is very similar to the one in Homestuck – but it’s even more similar to another game on the FarragoFiction website, SBURBsim, which is “is a fanmade browser simulation” of SBURB.

In SBURBsim, you can throw in a randomly-generated or customized set of characters into their own session, and SBURBsim will invent plotlines, fights, character progression, romance, alchemy, time travel shenanigans, and more, eventually telling you a story about how that session might go. It is mind-bogglingly ornate and cool, check it out.

Okay, anyway, so the game described in the FAQ is mostly Sburb-y but has some clear Farrago/SburbSIM elements in the form of the fan-classes – wastes, graces, smiths, and more. But it has some stuff that feels more Homestuck-classic-SBURB, like in the FAQ [EDIT: SBURBsim] there’s a convention where all the randomly generated player-usernames have the same initials as their classpects, so like the session’s Bard of Time might have the username belugaTrainer or belligerentTriangle or whatever, which isn’t a thing in Homestuck nor in the FAQ. It also adds a few elements all its own, like that there’s a recognized pantheon of gods who have sway over the rules of the universe, with their own usernames and classpects.

(Hey, synthesizing that with some background Homestuck knowledge + what we’ve learned from AdventureSimWest, I think the ‘gods’ are the players whose Sburb session created the ones that the FAQ authors were born into. Elegant!)

Oh yeah, as JR mentions, the Zampanio FAQ also takes heavy and pseudo-explicit inspiration from a fanfiction called the Sburb Glitch FAQ, a sprawling fanwork I haven’t read that’s sort of a game guide and technical manual to SBURB. Maybe more of this is references to that, I don’t know.

(Sidenote, Rose’s GameFAQ was one of my favorite plot points in Homestuck. I’m only sorry it wasn’t used more. So I’m delighted to see all these fanworks that took inspiration from it.)

So okay whether the FAQ players are more playing OG-SBURB, or SBURBsim, or a game that has aspects of both – well, they’re all pretty similar, I don’t’ think we need to split hairs. This document is an in-universe survival guide for a SBURBlike.

You know what it’s not particularly like? ZampanioSim, the game it supposedly inspired!

This is so fun to me. SBURBsim existed long before ZampanioSim. If you were going to make a simulator game based on the Zampanio FAQ, that game would be SBURBsim. But SBURBsim was already a thing! JR knows this – they worked on SBURBsim! Their sburbsona is on the about page!

They mention this in the introduction to the “found scanned printout” of the FAQ - they initially read it deeply to figure out, through the redaction, if it was a fanwork for their own project (SBURBsim). They write:

this is obvs JUST the faq, not any of the like, description or author name or all that shit that eventually lead me down the rabbit hole. like, you could find the missing sections in this weird ...not arg? I don't THINK? and they started talking about things like the achievement system and shit, stuff that stuck with me a lot more if what i chose to focus on in zampaniosim is any indication. still. having a record of the START of this branch is better than nothing

So, okay, the FAQ itself is not explicitly Zampanio. We’re missing the description and whatever else that’s supposedly out there somewhere, as lost media. I tried to find some reason to think the fic was supposedly out of time, like that it would have been from before SBURBsim was made, but there isn't any - everything lines up with what JR said in the forward.

So I think maybe reading so far into the FAQ without that other supposed metadata was a great time and, yes, sold me on a new art form, but it wasn’t that productive in terms of the broader Zampanio story.

... Or was it?

I've connected the dots

There was a reference somewhere – I think in the South route, though I can’t swear to it – that was pretty outright something like “JR added Magnus Archives elements to Zampanio because of an at-the-time obsession with the Spiral from TMA.” Now, some stuff like the south route is less in-character than in other places, so I don’t want to necessarily say that everything like that will “carry through” to the rest of canon, if that makes sense. But it helps put those pieces together, so here’s my running theory:

In the story, Zampanio is a memeplex that moves and spreads between dimensions - very diverse multiple dimensions, including different fictional worlds. (Think the Big Bad in There Is No Antimemetics Division - effecting "universes which embed ours as fiction".) Sort of a psychic prion that goes around twisting orderly systems and punching its way between meta-layers. The core of it stays similar between - it has a predilection for spirals, mazes, meta bullshit, and games - but some of the specifics change from instance to instance.

Zampanio probably spread rampant among this constellation of Sburb universes, perhaps because Zampanio is affiliated with games and Sburb universe is a game. (Or at least uses a game to reproduce.) It’s a great carrier. From there, Zampanio rode into our universe on the back of the FAQ. (Game FAQs being a known way to throw information between Sburb dimensions, in Homestuck.)

JR took the seed that came with the FAQ and instantiated Zampanio in this universe, and added their own compatible TMA-spiral flavoring to it.

(This also lines up with another cool aspect of Zampanio, which is that if you make your own fan-work or fan-story about Zampanio, that’s canon too. It is impossible to gamejack this. Thus far I’m focusing on JR’s ZampanioSim canon, but there are other people out there putting their own spins on it, which are also canon.)

Questions I have now, if that theory is true:

What other aspects of ZampanioSim carry on between versions?

Is Eyedol necessarily associated with the Zampanio memeplex? Does or did it actually create ZampanioSim in some causal way?

Does the Space Loop that occurs in AdventureSimWest have ramifications or equivalents in other instances of Zampanio?

Why does Zampanio like games so much? (Is it because interactive games are a convenient way to punch through from one dimension to the fictional dimension within it?)

There are comments about someone, maybe Eyedol, trying to scrub the ZampanioFAQ from the internet (in our dimension). Why would they want that?

What’s the other missing metadata that would have associated the ZampanioFAQ with Zampanio?

Who wrote the ZampanioFAQ? Was it written (...IC) as a fanwork of SBURBsim or did it “come from a SBURB universe”? Who censored it?

Aw man. And there's still so much I haven't even gotten into.

Like, okay, do you guys know gopher? It’s an early alternative to HTTP as a way of organizing the internet that was mostly sidelined, but a few servers are still around.

Apparently there’s a bunch more Zampanio stuff only accessible via Gopher and I’m going to have to figure out how to use it.

Thanks, JR, YOU MAD SORCERER.

So, that's where I'm at vis a vis ZampanioSim. I gotta get back to my own stuff for right now, but thank you ZampanioSim discord for helping blaze trails and mostly to JR for weaving such a wonderful weird mystery.

If you have questions or comments you want me to talk about in a future one of these, my ask box is open.* Also, if you get into ZampanioSim yourself, feel free to say hi on the discord.**

*(okay I know people have been involved in this for years and I’m still mostly trying to formulate my own opinions about what’s going on, so if you know something that’s like “an actual answer” and want to share, then consider phrasing it as an ominous clue instead of telling me outright – but I’m under the strong impression that this is an ARG where there’s not gonna be like a canonical underlying “answer” to a lot of things so, you know, do what brings you joy.)

**Your first challenge is to find the discord. I wanna be cryptic too!

[mysticheathenn]

What are you being Protected From?

Hi there! Remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to go seek professional help.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition. This is a Free Tumblr Reading. I only put Patreon just in case anyone wants to join for more pick-a-cards and other content soon to come to that channel. I'll make a post about it sometime this week about the different tiers etc.

Patreon Link (Monthly Subscription)

Ko-Fi Donations (One-time Donations)

Pile l:

*What are you being protected from? (Tarot: 9 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, The Fool, and 7 of Cups (Reversed))

Dreams! You’re dreams and goals that you envisioned for yourself are being protected at this time. Some of you may have decided to take the leap of faith and go after what you want for yourself and out of life and you’re wondering if you are also on the right or wrong path and your spirit guides want you to know to keep going, you’re on the right path and that you are protected. This isn’t to say that you won’t deal with hardship when pursuing your dreams especially if you are in a competitive field. This is more so of spirit saying that no one can take away what is yours, your goals and dreams are for the taking and in reach and they are here to help you along the journey if you just ask them. Remember closed mouths do not get fed and we all have free will so your guides will not just jump in your life and change things without your consent. When things get hard on this new path of yours remember to ask your guides for help. If you work with deities ask them for help as well but remember it is a give-and-take relationship when working with deities and you shouldn’t expect things from them because they are who they are. Keep going on whatever path you are going on, you are protected.

*Messages, Synchronicities, and Signs from your Oracle Cards: (Moonology Manifestation Oracle Deck: Go Deeper, Step into your Power, & Relax)

“Go Deeper” Passage from the book: “You’ve moved through your fears and can see now where this issue has come from. It’s time for you to face your darkest concerns…go deeper. Your situation may need to crumble before it can be renewed. Magic is called for. It’s crucial to stay strong.”

“Step into your Power” Passage from the book: “Achieving anything is always part inspiration and part hard work. Be You! Take action, be bold, but be smart. Be systematic but also allow yourself to be excited about what you want.”

*What good things are coming from this protection: (Oracle Cards from Spellcasting Oracle Deck)

Passion Inspiration Boundaries Finding (This could be becoming more of your authentic self, developing your intuition more, or finding the answers you seek)

Pile ll:

*What are you being protected from? (Tarot: 2 of Swords (reversed), 4 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles (reversed), The Moon (reversed), Death (reversed), and The Devil (bottom of deck))

“It’s not time yet.” This is what I am hearing from your guides. Some of you are getting impatient waiting for something you’ve been putting in a lot of work towards, or if not a lot of work towards maybe you are waiting for a scholarship, a gift or money from someone, whatever it is you are waiting for it’s not time yet. There are still some missing pieces that need to come together, some pieces that aren’t being shown to you at this time that accepting or doing whatever it is you want isn’t happening right now.  But you can’t help but feel stuck and questioning if you made the right or wrong decision. Some of you may have been drawn to pile 1 as well. For movement to happen pile 2 change needs to happen for some of you this isn’t on your end, and you just need to wait whatever it is that you are waiting for out, and for others, some of you need to change something. I don’t know what that may be because your guides are telling me that you know. You know what needs to change whether self-doubt, breaking up with your partner, moving from your toxic environment, quitting your job, or what. When you do that, you will receive what you are looking for. You can’t want great things while holding on to the same toxic and harmful people or environments, it will only taint your blessings.

*Messages, Synchronicities, and Signs from your Oracle Cards: (Moonology Manifestation Oracle Deck: Open Up to Change, Attune to the Divine, & Talk Less, Feel More)

“Talk Less, Feel More” Passage from the book: The danger of your current situation is that you’re going to be really good at starting things and less good at finishing them. This card suggests that you talk less and feel more. What you want wants you too. Do you believe in yourself or not.?” (Paraphrased from the book, passage was too long lol)

“Open Up to Change”: “Big changes are on the horizon, but you need to let events unfold with as little steering as possible from you. A rational even slightest aloof assessment for your current situation is being called for.”

*What good things are coming from this protection: (Oracle Cards from Spellcasting Oracle Deck)

New Beginnings Answers Protection

Pile lll:

*What are you being protected from? (Tarot: 6 of Swords, Justice (reversed), 10 of Pentacles clarified by the Knight of Cups (reversed), The Lovers (Reversed), 8 of Swords (reversed), 4 of Cups (reversed)

This could be a relationship/Friendship for a lot of you this is romantic but for some of you, this could be platonic. This reading kind of is going both ways some of you you’re going through a breakup up and others, you are thinking about going through a breakup because you are the only one in the relationship who is putting in all the effort. It reminds me of the Simpson meme where Lis is placing a band-aid on Bart and the caption says my toxic trait is and basically doing things for others they wouldn’t do for you and some of you are seeing that this person is selfish, narcissistic, and maybe even just downright hates you. Reminds me of the thread on Twitter where guys openly discuss the moment, they start randomly hating their girlfriends and start treating them horribly so they would break up with them. Very few of you don’t want to see this out of your relationship (platonic or romantic) so you keep making excuses and giving people the benefit of the doubt. Spirit is saying no more, the blindfolds are coming off and you’re going to see a spade for a spade and move away from this situation. There is better on the horizons. Some of you don’t want to leave this person because you have low self-esteem and feel no one else will love you and others of you are afraid of being alone or fear the dating scene because of what is out there but ask yourself is it really any worse than what you are constantly putting yourself through. Love yourself and have respect for yourself enough to leave, boo.

*Messages, Synchronicities, and Signs from your Oracle Cards: (Moonology Manifestation Oracle Deck: Know Your Worth, Trust all is well, & Keep Your Heart Open, Know You are Loved)

Unlike the other two piles who received messages from the passage from the book of the oracle cards, your cards are quite self-explanatory.

Know Your Worth (Do I need to say more)

Trust all will be well (trust you will be okay when this end. Trust there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Your life will not end because you ended or are going to end your relationship/friendship)

Keep Your Heart Open (I know this isn’t fair the feeling you are feeling and all you have been through. But keep your heart open for others to see the beautiful light you shine.)

Know You are Loved (Again do I need to say more)

What good things are coming from this protection: (Oracle Cards from Spellcasting Oracle Deck)

Lighten your Load Forgiveness (This could be forgiving the person or yourself for not seeing things clearly or even for not taking action sooner.) Friendship Reconciliation (This is more about self-love. If I had to put it in further words it’s that Twitter post where it says after a breakup women go back to school, work on their bodies, buy a house, etc. It’s more of focusing on the self than getting back together with someone.)

Thanks for checking out my reading. I appreciate all of you, until the next reading.

Stay Safe and Be Blessed.

[perpetual-fandom-brainrot]

Shadow (Dark Link x Reader x Link)

Summary: The reader accidentally stumbles into Dink's boss room while scouting ahead for monsters.

MASTERLIST Warnings: 18+ themes such as gore, graphic descriptions of death and fatal injury, emotional/psychological manipulation, etc. coming up. Reader actually dies and is revived. This story is not suitable for small children and easily disturbed individuals.

The temple is completely silent aside from the moves of yourself and your best friend, Link. At first he'd warned you to stay in the safety of Kakariko, but lost that argument when you'd held your own in a sparring match.

Now, the two of you gaze upon the expanse of the room you'd emerged from. Lots of water, as expected, fills the area. You notice a plethora of hookshot points, platforms, and tectites. None of them see you or Link as you swim past them to a hallway entrance. You find that it leads to an underwater passage.

In fact, most hallways do, you realize as you trail Link throughout the temple. Most of that trailing is spent picking off monsters Link can't get to, helping point out puzzle solutions, and quickly stealing Navi's attention if her timing is inopportune. Conversation between Link and yourself is scarce, both a strategic decision and a comfortable one, especially for you. Too many other things might come up right now, things that will cause more problems than will be solved if you choose silence. So you do, especially underwater, where magic is your lifeline. Both you and Link have fully stocked up on bottles of magic for this reason.

That magic almost goes to waste when a sing-song voice calls Link's name. You resist a gasp as your attention is drawn to the literal princess who produced it. How in Hylia's name is she here? You suppose, as the sacred house to the water medallion, it's technically still part of the Zora domain, but you distinctly remember hearing how all of Hyrule's royalty is dead, hiding, or otherwise decommissioned. Perhaps Ruto is safe here? When you look to Link's face to read his expression, he looks shocked and semi-afraid.

"It's me! Your fiancée! Ruto! I never forgot our vows from seven years ago." The princess' words horrify the hero and leave you nearly choking again. Fiancée? Vows? Seven years? She's not serious, is she? "You were so mean to keep me waiting," definitely serious, "but this moment can't be for love. My domain, I know you saw it's completely frozen! A man named Sheik freed me from the ice. The others haven't woken, so I need your help to save them! As my future husband it's your duty!" Ruto, finally ready to drop the marriage topic, proceeds to explain the temple's three water control points, and even leads you to one of them. She's gone by the time you and Link reach the top, most likely continuing ahead without you.

Link reads over the symbols on the wall, muttering to himself the whole time you're inspecting this tiny room. A soothing song comes from that ocarina of his mere moments later. The water level lowers, much to your intrigue. Magic must be part of the architecture here, you think. Instead of vocalizing your curiosity about the subject, you wordlessly follow Link into the next room and help pick off the monsters you find, grabbing the map out of the chest that appears. After examining it, you decide to head back for the bottom floor. The string of rooms brimming with monsters and puzzles begins with that simple jump down. A puzzle, a new room, some monsters, a key. This process repeats twice to get you to the second water control point, which also has to be activated through song.

This one raises the water, although not as high as it was earlier, allowing you and Link to enter a newly revealed passage. It leads deeper into the temple, where the new area leads to a puzzle, more monsters, and another key.

"Is this what every temple is like?" You ask, fingers tapping against your weapon's grip point.

"Yep." Link grunts as he stores the key in his satchel. "There's usually more foes than this," he adds. Your chest swells and tightens at the same time, your eyes going wide with a harsh realization. He could die here. You could both die here. What if one of you gets fatally injured in the midst of a difficult battle? It would be a choice between saving the other person or trying to fight off the monsters quick enough to still have time to do so. What if you ran out of healing items?

"We should split up soon," you find yourself blurting, partially for good reason and partially for the selfishness of not wanting to potentially see Link die.

"Why?" He asks firmly. He was difficult to persuade when it came to your accompaniment, you hope this might be easier.

"We have no idea what to expect in here! Monsters, items, locked doors, sure we know that. Not what kind of monsters, or how many, or where any of those item chests might be. Plus, if you run out of supplies before we split up, I'd be able to smash a jar here and there to bring you back more."

At your words, the same reluctance from Kakariko this morning crosses his face. You know Navi can identify new monsters for him, but you also latch onto the glimmer of consideration adorning his eyes at your offer to pick some off and scavenge for extra items.

"Fine," he finally says, hesitance mostly gone. Warmth blooms in you at his trust that you can handle yourself on that level. This isn't something any random Hylian can handle. You keep that thought in the front of your mind as Link dives back in the direction you came from. You follow soon after.

The third and final water control point sits above a room containing a water geyser puzzle. You draw your bow to shoot the crystal once you and Link both stand on it, raising you to the door leading to the control point. With the water only partially filling the temple, the point you've entered appears to be a vantage point over the temple's main area. It becomes level with everything else when Link brings the water up, and on you go to the next locked door.

You instantly shoot down two waiting keese on the wall behind the door, returning it to your gear when no more show up. Link yanks you back as you attempt to step further into the room. You're preparing to be annoyed, but immediately take notice of how the room is built. You would have fallen clean off the area you now stand on and landed on a platform about 10 feet below you. That platform leads to more platforms, one of which sits on the same wall and four others slowly fall down a waterfall's current. You groan when you notice the hookshot platforms. Link laughs softly beside you.

"The hookshot is uncomfortable!" You whine in defense, while a much worse feeling creeps up your spine. How many rooms has it been since you last encountered a monster? "Tell you what, I have to get used to it anyway. Let me scout ahead now! I'll tell you all about the next puzzles when I come back," you hastily promise before snatching the hookshot from Link. You cross the room before you can back down and before he can protest. The next room, another hookshot puzzle which contains a crystal, almost makes you want to rip your hair out. You don't, instead keeping a cool head as you pass through the room, alternating between bow and hookshot to activate the crystal and cross gaps between the platforms.

You're about to celebrate when you see one last hookshot point, but your face goes pale when you notice spikes directly underneath it and a slime creature bigger than you waiting on the other side. With sword drawn, you hook onto the ceiling, immediately doing a downwards spin-slash to finish it off when you drop to the floor. The next door is not locked.

The room it leads to is not inhabited. Instead of monsters, puzzles, or chests, you're greeted by a peaceful scene. An endless expanse of calm, shallow water expanded on all sides. The only disruptions are the door you came from, the door leading forward, and a small sand mound with a leafless tree sitting between them. You take a step forward and find that the water reflects your face perfectly. You feel oddly safe to take another step despite no visual of solid ground. Your feet sink slightly, but nothing more. You walk, then pause when you notice the door ahead has bars on it. The room is empty, isn't it? You turn around in a panic, trying to spot anywhere a monster could hide. In the water maybe? You take a second look at the surface, only to see a lack of your reflection. The pit of your stomach sinks. This room, and whatever is going on, is fueled by magic. This thing didn't need to hide from you, it could hide itself.

"You're not the hero," a voice sneers, sounding as though the room itself is speaking. That tone, that slight rasp anyone else would miss, it sounds just like-

A hand suddenly covers your mouth, your body being pulled backwards against another. Your instincts call on your weapons, but your assailant grips your wrist with superior strength. A sob begins building in your throat. This is a foe, one who is clearly prepared for Link and not some Hylian girl. You're dead. You'll never get to run around the village again. You'll never get to train with a sword again. You'll never get to tell Link-

"That's right, you'll never get to tell Mr. Hero-boy that you loOove him~" the voice purrs against your ear, his its tone cruel and mocking in a level whisper. Your lungs freeze when you process the words' true meaning. this thing knows your deepest secret and deepest fear. Worst of all, its voice sounds almost like Link's with the exceptions of a heavier rasp, being slightly deeper, and a permanent sadistic venom lacing every word he it spoke.

"I'm so touched you know who I am," it continues. Your body is jerked in a 180-degree spin and shoved to the ground, leaving you sprawled out and disoriented. You're still reeling from being winded like that when you notice a blade at your throat and freeze. A familiar blade, only darkly colored rather than the hauntingly beautiful silver you're used to. You slowly bring your gaze upwards, eyes meeting Link's face when you fully meet the monster's. It's Link?

"I am not that foolish child of the light," it says with a snort, still sounding calm and deadly whilst amused. "No, I am the stronger and more courageous warrior he could not bring himself to be. That Link, that hero that you love so much, he will never be what you think he is. He will never be what I am. I will pry what is rightfully mine from his sinking corpse." The last sentence is a growl full of venom and jealousy that has you trembling. Something tells you this monster really does stand a chance against the mighty hero of time. You would be mad, you should be mad, but his blade still sat against your neck. You don't dare to move or speak as you try to form a plan.

"Tell you what, here's a plan:" Link's evil copy presses his blade against your throat more, "I kill you, possess your corpse, and force hero boy to choose between letting it kill him or mangling it in order to stop me!" The monster says it like it's trying to suggest a fun new game you haven't heard of before. His eyes are wide with a sadistic kind of glee, one that enjoys seeing you so terrified, meanwhile something in you stirs. At first it's slight, something you bite back, but you can't just let him talk about Link like that.

"Don't even-" Evil Link begins, slashing his blade, but you roll away in time to get slashed on the shoulder instead. It isn't too deep of a wound, but you need to make quick work of this foe or else you'll lose your edge. Springing up, you jump backwards before drawing your sword and shield. The monster charges at you with a cry not unlike your Link's. You try not to think about it as you raise your shield to parry the incoming slash. With the opening it creates you manage a minor slice on his its shoulder. It isn't the monster's sword shoulder, but if it causes any struggle it's worth it.

As you take the second to acknowledge your handiwork, you find your own wrist being slashed at. You get a mild cut, hand starting to shake as you force yourself to support your sword. You back away in even steps, Link's dark version matching your pace. He It suddenly sinks back into the floor below when you're about to reach the other door again. Your reflection not returning keeps you on guard. As you survey the room for the monster, its words pop back into your head. It talked about Link like he's nothing! You internally seethe. Clinking behind you gathers your alert and you turn around just in time to brace your shield against his blade. It bounces backwards harshly enough to dent your shield and send the monster stumbling into the wall behind him. You step forward and slash at him again, inflicting a gash on his arm that's severe but not deadly. He drops his sword and shield, one arm now too hurt and one arm holding the gash. He only grits his teeth at you and glares before disappearing again.

You smile victoriously and saunter back to the door leading forward. I never could've gotten a hit on the real Link, you think as you reach for the bars over the door-

Wait, what? Your heart speeds up immediately as you retreat from the door. That's impo-

You feel warmth travel down your abdomen, a very heavy warmth that makes you instantly sleepy. You yawn and reach down to try to pull it over you like a blanket, hands wrapping around something. Your hazed mind doesn't realize the object is sharp as you weakly tug on it, becoming frustrated when you have no success pulling it up. You tear up, but a soothing feeling settles in your throat when you try to cry rather than choking. Slowly, you find yourself falling asleep as your vision fades out.

You wake up what feels like hours later, to Navi's concerned voice and a fairy missing from your inventory. Exhaustion is still burrowed into your bones and unconsciousness keeps a desperate grip on the corners of your mind.

"Y/n! Y/n! Thank Hylia! What in her name happened here?!" The fairy's voice is fast, full of panic. You open your mouth to speak, but as the memories fade back you can't even begin to process it. Saying it proves impossible when you burst into tears, resisting the urge to scream when your body instinctively tries to choke.

"I- I'll get Link! Stay here!" You reach to try to stop Navi when she flies towards you, but you're too fatigued and a sharp pain in your abdomen stops you. You lose the ability to keep your cries silent. It hurts so badly, you don't even want to breathe because even that causes pain. You swear you can feel it in your organs, even. The little blue-winged fairy carefully, silently, sifts through your belongings and extracts the hookshot before she leaves the room. You curl up in the water, which no longer bears your reflection in the absence of the shadow being, and lift your armor slowly to peek at the wound.

Despite having a fairy's healing applied, the wound is horrendous, and looking at the surrounding skin has you in hysterics. Inflamed, red, with a bubbling rash and several tender bruises already visible. Not to mention the stab wound sitting in the center, looking somewhat scabbed over but still obviously new. You try not to think too hard about it, or about anything except Link, as you slip into the simplicity of the morning's memories for comfort.

"Link! Link!" You call excitedly as you jog towards the Death Mountain gate to greet the currently blue-clad hero. You notice he's brandishing a different sword than the famous Blade of Evil's Bane. "New tunic and a new blade in the same day? Awesome!" You cheer, skipping next to Link, who stays quiet beside you. "Where're you headed now?"

"Water temple," Link grunts. When he notices the spark in your eye, visible concern replaces his typically stoic expression.

"Do you need extra eyes?" You ask eagerly. "An extra blade to back you up?" Link turns to you and grabs your shoulders. You know what he's about to say when he opens his mouth.

"Y/n, it is my job to save Hyrule. Not yours. I'll be back before you know it. You're safest in Kakariko," he says in a firm yet comforting tone. A cheeky grin spreads across your face as you form a plan.

"Let me spar you! How about that? If I can't defend myself against you, I'll stay here!" You announce. Link sighs with a defeated look as you celebrate and prepare your gear.

The door opening and Link's alarmed exclamations bring you back to your unfortunate reality. You open your mouth to try to explain, but break all over again when he gently moves to shush you. You can't help but flinch away from his hand. He looks confused, hurt for a moment, before he notices a fairy missing from your healing items. Potion is immediately poured into your mouth, your eyes tracking the seams on the leather covering his hands. You physically relax as the calm warmth of healing comes over you, a much different and more blissful warmth than the one you remember from earlier. You drift back to sleep, barely registering a pair of arms lifting you as you fade away.

You wake in the middle of Kakariko. It's the middle of the night and it's foggy. Everyone is inside for the night. The village is dead silent. The moon and stars are absent, yet a gentle light is barely visible through the fog. It's beautiful, and red. You think it may be a torch at first, other villagers you can't see, but the light seems to shrink as you approach. Curiosity fills you, urging you forward. More characteristics about the light become distinct the closer you get. The source splits into two separate ones when you're what seems to be a few feet away. Their shape becomes perfectly circular.

Your blood goes cold. You freeze in place when you see Link. The evil one, the one made of darkness. The one who had... encountered you in the temple. A smirk crawls up his face as he yanks you towards him and pivots. You feel the edge of the abandoned well dig into your back. You don't have time to process how his eyes aren't red, how his hair turned white, how his skin turned grey. How he looks more human now. He completely fills your personal space, his body pressed wholly against yours as he tips you backwards over the edge of the well, lips poking your ear.

"Welcome home, y/n~" he whispers before shoving you over the well's rim. A scream rips from your throat as you fall into infinite darkness, Kakariko village, your home, getting smaller and smaller. You flail, you cry, you helplessly try to grab for anything that will get you out of this. The air feels like it's moving too fast for you to breathe.

"Help! Help!" You scream out desperately as your heart twists and your stomach flips inside out. Your hands finally grip something you can't see, and you squeeze as hard as you can, not caring when you feel tingling in your knuckles. You pray to Hylia for safety as you clench your eyes shut.

You wake in Kakariko, in your bed, in Link's arms. You tense, prepared to scramble away from him, and burst into tears when you process that this is your Link. Your hero, your best friend, your crush, not the monster that-

You choke at the thought. Link gently brings you into a full embrace, one you desperately want to find comfort in, but all you can think about is how many times that's happened to him.

"D- Does it a- always hurt?" You choke. Link lets out an audible breath and holds you closer.

When he departs for the temple again, you want to beg him to stay. You want to cry to him and tell him everything eating at your brain. Instead, you insist he at least takes your remaining healing items. Two fairies and five potions. You made him pledge to give the bottles back when they were empty, those things took years to gather. All you can do now is wait and hope he makes it back safe and sound.

Read the next chapter here

[phyx-m]

Beneath The Silk | True form Sukuna x Reader

🔗 Masterlist

Chapter 19: Something’s Burning

Content warning: Matricide, implied cannibalism, vomiting, angst, blood, death, violence, attempted sexual assault. Please read with care <3

🔗 Songs for this chapter:

Cool For Chaos - Nostalghia Stockholm Syndrome - Nostalghia

* * * * *

Chapter 18 | Chapter 20

* * * * *

Seven years ago…

It’s the pounding of feet that wakes you first—many of them, by the sounds of it, all rushing past your door. But it’s the panicked whispers that force your eyes open and make you sit up.

Your room is dark at this hour, late, past midnight. Silvery blue moonlight dances through the sliding panel open to the verandah, casting odd shadows on the floor. A small wind drifts through, and with it comes the scent of smoke.

Somewhere, far off, something’s burning.

Glancing over your shoulder, you see Yuna lying beside you, asleep and wrapped tightly in cotton coverings, her head resting and eyes closed. She’s been ill recently, weighed down by the pressure your father places on her as he prepares her for a lifetime of servitude to whatever clan he deems worthy of joining his and taking her as their wife.

Though she may be the gem of the Kasai clan, she still has demands to meet, and she meets them with a smile on her face. That’s why she’s here, staying in your chambers—allowing you to watch over and comfort her for the time being.

Out in the corridor, more thudding footfalls rumble on the wooden floor. The clinking of metal plating bangs and creaking floorboards sound as if straining under heavy weight. An anguished shout makes you jump.

What’s happening?

Quietly and carefully, so as not to disturb your sister, you peel away the blankets, cross the room, and slide the door open just a notch. Kasai men in armour hurry past, weapons at their sides. From your hidden vantage point, you notice their drawn faces.

They’re afraid. Terrified. All of them.

Of what?

One… two… five… eleven… twenty…

You count them as they rush past, their shadows long against the passage lit by hanging lanterns. The numbers keep growing.

“It’s… eating them… it’s eating their skin,” one of them mutters frantically, hands shaking and eyes so wide that only the whites are visible. The man’s voice sounds deranged, trapped and muffled, like it's caught inside a jar.

Your eyes move down the long passage to a door that leads to the room where your mother has been resting, waiting for her baby to arrive any day now. Your father, clad in armour, slips out quietly, his face stern and troubled, his brow tightly pinched. He’s been incredibly watchful of her lately, or rather, the unborn son he claims is due to be born. He’s put a lot of pressure on a child who has yet to enter this world.

A fitting thing to do for a man like him.

You hold your breath, watching as he makes his way toward your room. But Onishi intercepts him, pulling him aside, and they converse just shy of a whisper, forcing you to strain your ears to listen.

“Where is it now?” your father murmurs, his eyes looking like pinpricks of stars in the surrounding shadows.

“After destroying one village, it’s moved east—” Onishi slants closer. “—a bit of a ride from here.” The advisor’s hair is pulled into a topknot, and his slender face is composed of sharp angles. “It’s attacking another village as we speak.”

Your focus on Onishi breaks, shifting to your father, whose jaw unhinges. He’s always reminded you more of a hawk than a man. 

“And the villagers?”

“Fighting for their lives, if they still have any.”

Your father says nothing as his eyes go vacant, though you can tell he’s thinking, strategizing.

“Then let them. Pull our men back. Let it have the village.”

Onishi raises an eyebrow.

“You wish to leave them on their own? Many will be slaughtered.”

“We can’t afford to lose more land or men. It will regret that mistake if it thinks it can take from me.”

Indignation strikes you, stomach sick. Their willingness to sacrifice villagers to corner whatever this monstrous threat is.

“If the village draws its attention, it may expose itself. And when it does, then—” Onishi wets his lips. “—we can attack it. Kill it.”

“Fine.” Your father sniffs. “For now, prepare a small riding unit. I want to survey it from a distance for the time being.” The other man nods, and the two begin to walk down the corridor. “Tell me what else you’ve learned.”

A look of disgust shades Onishi’s face, his upper lip curling back. Seeing that expression, you feel a growing desire to know more. Fingers gripping the edge of the door, you quietly slide it open a little wider.

“Some of the men have been raving mad about it being some kind of demon,” he murmurs, brows creasing as if trying to make sense of it all. “Or rather, they’re saying he is a demon.” There’s a beat and then. “They claim he has extra arms, mouths, eyes… even multiple faces…”

A chill wraps around your throat.

Demon?

The sheer wrongness of this claim.

Your father barks out a fit of sudden laughter.

Your gaze jerks to him.

“Two faces? Four arms? Sounds like the frightened tales of children.” As they walk, their feet carry them closer to your chambers, you pull yourself back, but your father slows. “Speaking of children…”

His cold gaze snaps to where you stand, crowded at the sliver in the door. His brow crashes down, and everything in you goes still. That look on his face says he’s unimpressed by your eavesdropping.

Before he can yell or strike at you, you’re lowering your head and quickly sliding the door shut a bit too loudly. Taking a step back, you listen as the two men and the rest of the Kasai clan begin to depart the corridor, seemingly setting out to put an end to whatever is attacking the territory.

“Sister?” Yuna’s frail, raspy voice calls out from behind you.

Turning, you move back to the futon and crouch beside her, smoothing your yukata around your knees.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” you whisper, taking in her face in the darkness. She looks tired, pale; bruises shadow her eyes, and a few wild strands of hair cling to the side of her face. “How are you feeling?”

Her eyes meet yours carefully before she rubs them with the heels of her palms.

“I’m all right,” she mumbles quietly.

But you don’t quite believe her. The two of you have always been able to sense when the other is lying. It’s just how it is when you’re that close.

“It’s… it’s pulling apart their limbs… sucking their bones dry… it’s fucking… eating them…”

In the corridor, there is more jostling, weapons clinking. More faint mutterings of men who have seemingly lost their minds.

“What’s going on?” Yuna’s voice twists into puzzlement as she rolls from her side onto her back. A dry cough wracks her limbs at this new angle.

As you get a better view of her face, you feel an urge to brush her hair aside, to comfort her. Pivoting on your haunches, you reach for the silk gloves on a table next to the futon. You slip them on, then tuck a few strands behind her ear.

“It sounds like there’s been an attack on one of the villages.” You avoid mentioning any more details. There's no need to worry her. “Father and Onishi have left to deal with it. Go back to sleep.”

Yuna nods, but stares at the ceiling, eyes soft and bottomless—infinite. She seems small and far away, utterly exhausted.

Another breeze slouches through the room, carrying with it the scent of smoke and ash. You tip your head up and glance out the panel door, noticing a faint red glow on the horizon beyond the yew trees on the compound's outer wall. It must be from the attacked village—likely burning to the ground, along with everyone in it.

The flickering of the blaze through the canopy of branches is a fiery-orange, like torchlight. It captures you. Holds you.

Something’s out there… and it’s eating people.

You shudder.

“Mother will be alone.” Yuna’s whisper breaks your trance.

You look back down at her. She tilts her head to look at you.

“She’s in a more vulnerable state than I am.” She touches your arm gently, her fingertips warm. “Since father is gone, you should stay with her.”

You nod.

“You’re right,” you say, leaning back. “Just… try to go back to sleep, okay?”

Her eyes, straining with heavy exhaustion, flutter. She nods faintly, and with a whisper under her breath, she speaks before coughing again. You smooth her hair back, shushing her, then rise to your feet and leave the room, heading down the corridor to where your mother rests.

You're surprised to find her awake when you gently slide open the door. The futon she rests on is a colourful mess, with a mountain of pillows propping her up and silks arranged to keep her comfortable. A nearby lantern flickers, casting a warm glow that dapples across her.

Even this late in her pregnancy, she somehow looks like a goddess.

“You’re awake.” You smile as you step inside and shut the door behind you. Her mouth curves at seeing you, and you softly pad closer until you stand at the edge of the futon. “You should be sleeping.”

Her hands move to rest fondly on her belly.

“Sleeping?” she scoffs playfully, “with this little troublemaker kicking my damn ribs like he’s already gearing up for battle?”

You grin, then stare at her swollen abdomen for a moment as if trying to see any evidence of movement or fluttering.

“He’s already restless then,” you say, glancing at her face. “Just like Father, eager to leave his mark.”

She watches you closely, fully aware of the patriarch's demands on you and your sister. Though she knows many other things, she has always been powerless to stop them.

“Perhaps,” she says softly, “or perhaps he’ll take after you instead.” Her fingers curl protectively where your sibling might rest. “Gentler, quieter.” You shift, a bit uncomfortable with the compliment, and she pats the futon beside her. “Come, sit with me. Let’s hope the little prince gives me a moment of peace.”

Your foot moves forward instinctively, but you stop, hesitating. From where you stand, you look down at her delicate state, unsure.

“It’s okay,” she reassures. “You’re wearing your gloves.” She pats the spot beside her again. “Come, join me.”

You relent, settling down and scooting closer before lying beside her. The lantern's flickering light moves across the ceiling, and your eyes trace the shifting patterns.

“Do you really think it’s a boy?” you ask, tilting your head as her arm wraps gently around you.

A part of you almost hopes it isn’t, just to see the look on your father’s face—watch him completely break down. Though, you know it likely wouldn’t end well for your mother, sister, or yourself.

There’s a brief pause as your mother considers, followed by a quiet sigh.

“Your father certainly thinks so...” Of course he does. She runs a hand through your hair. “But boy or girl, I’ll love them just the same.”

You smile and hum quietly, your eyelids falling heavy as her delicate fingers comb through your hair, nails gently pressing against your scalp.

You enjoy these moments—just you and her, time alone, away from duties and other harsh realities.

Slowly, your eyes fall shut.

Your breathing softens, becoming steady.

Her hand continues its soothing motion.

A heartbeat passes.

You drift.

And drift.

And drift.

And—

Shouting orders and the clatter of hooves erupt from outside.

You sit up, eyes blinking rapidly, tension crawling up your spine as you remember the men’s crazed mutterings about some demon out there.

“It’s all right,” your mother hushes, her hand reaching for your shoulder, gently urging you to lie back down. “Whatever is happening, your father and his men will handle it.”

You tilt your head back, brows knitting.

“But… I overheard some of them talking about something attacking the villages,” you say, your words tumbling out in a rush. “They said it’s been… eating people.”

She pauses, hand stilling at the crown of your head.

“I’m sure they were only embellishing some rumour. Something to stoke the imagination. You need not worry about that.” Her hand begins to thread through soft tendrils again. “Your father has dealt with worse than this. He’ll take care of it, just as he always does.”

“But the men…” Your brow creases further. “They seemed terrified. They made it sound as if it's a monster, a demon. They’ve never looked so frightened before.”

Next to you, your mother is quiet as she continues to dance her delicate fingers across your head. You give her a sidelong glance, wondering if perhaps she didn’t hear you.

"Monsters come in many forms," she says at last, her voice soothing despite what’s happening. "But whatever this thing is, it’s far from here. It won’t harm you." She taps your nose gently. "Trust me."

Your face twists in confusion. If it’s eating people and destroying villages, how could it possibly be harmless? You push the thought aside and relax against the warmth of her body.

"Now, enough talk of monsters and men,” she says, “you need to rest.”

You look up at her. 

“I think you need it more than me.”

"Oh, I’m sure I do.” She cups her stomach again and grins. “As long as this one doesn’t start another battle in my belly, then maybe I’ll achieve such a thing.”

You huff, though it comes out as a faint laugh.

“We can only hope.”

“Yes, that we can.” She taps your nose again. “Now hush and go to sleep, or I’ll kick you out of here.”

You smile, watching as she eases her pregnant frame back into the mound of pillows. She looks serene, her hair cascading over her shoulders, skin practically glowing.

With the sounds of men and horses outside fading into the distance, you settle again, eyes blinking slowly. Your mother’s face, warm and comforting, flickers in and out of focus.

Curled up beside her, your body drifts, grows heavy, and eventually, you fall asleep.

For a while, there were dreams—visions of a glow on the horizon, of villages burning and drowning in thick ash, of men battling a creature with too many faces and limbs, a creature that seemed to have been born from nowhere.

Then.

You’re not sure what happens next—only that you feel it even in sleep.

A terrible resistance, a pressure building at your fingertips, an unbearable accumulation that aches to be released, like something bottled up for far too long.

It builds and builds and builds.

And—

CRACK!

It breaks, like a great collapse, uncontrollable and all at once. The sound pales in comparison to the sensation that rips through you, a force strong enough to send the whole world vibrating.

It’s not until you stir from a trance, eyes foggy, gloves missing, that you realize your bare hands are digging, clawing into the futon, fingertips burning with pain. 

Softness squishes beneath you, pustular in feeling. Blood spreads out from a pile of battered remains where your mother was resting.

Something hard, jagged, catches against your fingernails.

Bone. Many of them.

You look down.

Finally, coming to, your hands stop moving.

You blink.

No.

You crawl closer to the oozing stain that is your mother, head spinning. 

No, no, no.

A bit of hair, the same colour as hers, mingles in a concave of bleeding pink flesh.

“No, no, no—no!” Your voice fractures, breaking apart.

You can’t breathe. Can’t think. Your hands are drenched in red, shaking. How did this happen? She was just here. Now… she’s gone.

She’s gone.

Your head swivels to find your gloves placed delicately beside you. 

“No!” you choke out, spittle falling from your lips as tears spill over, blurring your vision. “I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

You push the remains around frantically as if trying to put her back together—she and your new brother or your sister—it doesn’t fucking matter, both of them—but it does nothing but make a mess; the warmth slips between your fingers, blood bubbling up.

“No!” you scream at yourself before leaning over to vomit across the floor. The combined smell stinks of rotten meat and bile, making you pant, making your chest heave.

Breathe.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t—

“What the hell… are… you doing?…” There’s a quiet, trembling whisper at your back.

You push yourself up, neck craning as you glance back. Yuna stands frozen in the doorway, her face drained of colour, mouth slightly agape as she takes in the scene.

She steps inside, eyes wide.

“What did you—” Another step. A pause. Heart thundering. “What the hell did you do!?” Her scream pierces the silence.

“I…” You scramble to your feet, eyes darting between the bloodstained sheets, your gore-covered hands, and your sister. “I—I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to do this—”

She’s in your face in a heartbeat, grabbing your forearms and yanking you toward her.

“Do you even understand what you've done!?” She shakes you violently, tears spilling loose from your eyes. “You killed her! You killed our mother!”

I killed her.

Your mouth opens, but no words come.

I did this.

“How could you lose control like that!? How!? ” she shrieks, voice cracking and aching. “Father’s going to be furious! Do you have any idea what he’ll do to you? To me!?”

You’ve just ruined everything, taken away his next heir. Or his idea of his next heir. 

“I—” Words won’t come. Your throat tightens, panic rising. “I—”

“Say something! Speak!”

“I—”

I did this.

Your mouth opens, closes—then, suddenly, feeling yourself spiraling out of control, you tear free from her grip and run.

You erupt past her, out of the room, and down the corridor. You don’t look back. Just run—out of the passage, through the compound, until you find a door. You throw it open and sprint into the dark, heading for the estate walls. You reach the gate, push through, and flee toward the small grove of yews at its edge.

Behind you, Yuna’s voice rises in panic, chasing after you.

“Wait, sister! Come back!”

You don’t. You keep going, keep running, trying to escape what you’ve done.

I killed her.

Lungs swelling, you barrel into the grove—the ancient trees with gnarled trunks encasing you. The summer grass is not warm on your bare feet, but cold. 

You run and run and run until your heart threatens to burst, and then you run until your arm is grabbed and pulled back by Yuna, forcing you to stop. 

“Don’t touch me!” You yank free and step back, bare hands clenched into tight fists. 

Turning, you stand before each other, only the sound of your heavy panting and winded breaths passes in the space of ancient sentries.

“I didn’t mean to…” It’s the only thing you can say, and it’s delirious. “I didn’t—”

Your sister steps forward, ignoring your discomfort and pulls you in tight, holding you together when you feel you are falling apart.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Her mouth presses to the side of your head, and her hand gently strokes your hair. “I’m here.”

You cling to her, tears falling and soaking into her shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to… I didn’t…”

Stupid, useless girl—that’s what your father said. Now, you’re starting to believe him.

“I know,” she soothes, voice steady amid the chaos. “I know you didn’t mean to.”

“He’s going to kill me.”

She pulls back to look at you.

“Who? Father?” You nod, eyes blank. Her embrace tightens. “I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry. Just… just leave it to me.”

You pull back slightly, lip trembling.

“But—”

“No.” She cups your face, her thumbs tracing your cheeks. “No more tears, sister.”

You sniffle and nod, barely able to speak.

Somewhere in the distance, you hear the baying of men and the clatter of horses. They’ve returned. Back in those chambers, your father will see what you’ve done. The bloody array of flesh splattered across the futon

I killed her.

Dimly aware of yourself, you start to tremble, your body rocking back and forth.

“He’s going to kill me…” You suck in a tight breath, bleary eyes rolling across the surroundings to your sister.

“Just stay here, okay? I’ll talk to him first.” She dips her head to look into your eyes, brushing the hair out of your face.

You nod, silent.

She steps away, leaving you alone inside the grove. The trees feel tight and dense, crowding in close. You start to pace—feet tracing in small, tight circles, crunching into the leaves and twigs on the ground. Your bloody yukata clings like a second skin, slapping wet against your ankles.

I killed her.

You turn, pace, turn again.

“I killed her…”

Turn.

Your palms ache, nails sinking in until they bleed. Everything—your hands, your yukata, the world around you—is stained red.

“I killed her… I killed her…” Your muttering increases, as do your footsteps.

Turn. Back and forth. Turn. Back and forth. Turn.

“I killed her…”

Twigs break, branches snap. Beneath the yew trees, your pace slows. You lift your head, tears trailing down your face, dripping from your chin onto the ground. All you feel is pressure—anger, disgust. A sick contempt that makes your stomach hurt, as if you’re starving.

You don’t know how, but you feel it—death is near. It’s close. There’s no escaping it. After what you’ve done, taking your mother’s life away, sealing the fate of things to come, you deserve nothing less.

There’s a glow on the horizon, and something’s burning.

Your brow pinches together, eyes squinting. Muscles tense, muscles straining. The hair on the back of your neck bristles.

A flame opens and slithers across your eyes.

That’s all there is—red. Everywhere.

Red, red, red—

“Sister!” Yuna’s voice snaps you out of the dark spiral of your mind. “Come.”

Just beyond, she stands, gently waving you over. The red drains from your vision, and with it, the ravenous emotions fade. Without looking back, you force your dirty feet to move, leaving death behind in the grove.

Everything that follows is nothing more than a blur.

* * * * *

Present…

“So,” Yuna takes a sip of tea, her eyes peeking over the rim with playful curiosity, “tell me, what’s Lord Sukuna really like? Spare no details. I want to know everything—especially how he manages with all those extra hands.”

You nearly roll your eyes into the back of your head from where you kneel across the low table. She sounds exactly like she did on your wedding day.

“You know I’m not going to indulge that,” you say, savouring the tea as it touches your lips. “Especially the second part.”

She clicks her tongue.

“Oh, come on.” She leans in, pouting dramatically. “Share.”

Despite the anxiety creeping into your stomach, you laugh and set your cup down. The afternoon light filters through the screen doors of your sister’s chambers, and you realize the day is slipping away. You don’t have any more time to spare at the Kasai compound; you need to take your leave and return to the shrine immediately—before the King of Curses does.

“Fine, fine.” You pretend to consider. “He’s a sadistic, murderous asshole with a god complex who only thinks about himself.”

The deflection behind those words even makes you twinge.

Yuna gives a weak smile.

“You’re lying. I don’t believe you,” she says, leaning across the table and gently tapping your nose like your mother used to. Your mouth curves up. “Tell me the truth, what’s he like?”

Damn her insistence.

“He’s… complicated.” You rub your thumb into your temple. “There are always two sides to him. Sometimes, he’s a malicious, horrible bastard, and I want to strangle him. But then… there’s something else. I—” You pause, cheeks igniting with heat. Yuna tilts her head. “—I want things from him I’ve never wanted from anyone else... It’s… confusing.”

Shit.

There it is. The messy, complicated admission hurts more than you want.

Your sister’s smile widens as she leans back.

“Oh? That sounds more like it,” she teases, “so, Lord Sukuna has managed to get under your skin, huh?”

Perhaps?

“What? No. Don’t twist my words.”

You slide your hands from the table into your lap, wringing them together.

“Tell me what’s going on here. I noticed a lot of new faces when I arrived,” you say casually, locking eyes with her, daring her to change the subject back to Sukuna.

She smiles, fully aware of your tactic.

“You noticed them too? Those are the men from the Zen’in clan. Father’s been meeting with them. Apparently—” She sighs and takes another sip of tea. “—they’re here to discuss… options.”

“For marriage?”

She nods.

“It seems that way. But you know how Father is—he’ll make the final decision without even considering my input.”

Of course, he won't.

“Yes, I know he will,” you murmur, reaching for the ceramic cup and spinning it on the flat of your palm. Your eyes flit back up to her. “I met one of them, Yuna… I didn’t like him.”

That dark-haired man with the katana had nefarious intentions, especially with his insistence on meeting the King of Curses. Yet, you shouldn’t really mind that.

“They aren’t all bad.” You level her with a stare. Yuna winces and sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. “One of them just seems to be acting tough to prove something. A few soft words, and I was able to see a different side to him,” she says wistfully. “Besides—” she takes a sip of tea, “—it’s not like I have much of a choice. I’ve been preparing for this day. Once it’s settled, I’ll finally be able to leave this place and start my own life.”

All you want is for Yuna to have her own life.

You nod.

“Then, one day,” she continues, almost rambling, “once I have a family and you do too, our children will be able to play together.”

A need to laugh hysterically claws its way into you, but you swallow it down.

“Lord Sukuna and I won’t be having children.” He’ll be dead long before that. “So don’t include me in those daydreams.”

Besides, what did he say to you once?

“Do I look like someone who’d want a bunch of noisy brats tearing through here?”

No, he doesn’t.

Yuna’s brow furrows.

“What? Why? He would be so good, you know, with the—” She gestures to her hands, and you groan, knowing she’s referring to his damn extra set of limbs again.

“Seriously, no more talk about that man’s body, or I’ll punch you in your perfect nose.” Despite the threat, you can’t help grinning, wide enough that your jaw aches.

She beams back at you.

“You know I’m right,” she chimes. “You can’t deny it.”

Oh, you’ll deny it, that and everything else.

Saying goodbye to your sister proves difficult. The two of you cling together for long moments before you force yourself to let go. You needed to leave, and you needed to now.

With one last look toward her, you promise you’ll return in a few weeks for the harvest festival and depart her chambers.

You press down the corridor, but stop while slipping past the same room your mother was resting in seven years ago. Dipping your head inside, you see that the space appears unchanged, all that’s missing is the warmth and comfort she once brought. Now it sits flat and lifeless. 

After that night, when you left the shelter of the grove, your father did not punish you like you thought he would. No, instead, everything seemed twisted and backwards, like he had lost his goddamn mind. He became giddy with the idea of what had happened. That you had ended your mother, it was wrong. So very, very wrong. The only explanation is that night marked the first time he and the Kasai clan fought the demon. You’re uncertain about the details, but you know many were slaughtered, eaten, or killed.

And it didn’t stop there.

It returned a year later in the same seasons, summer and autumn. Then it came again the following year, the year after that, then again after that, and then again—until now, that demon is your husband, however fleeting that union may be.

Heart fraying at its edges, you pull away from the empty space before you allow the tears to start falling.

I’m sorry…

Not wanting to encounter anyone else—no more men, no more prying eyes—you take a back passage toward the stables.

As you hurry along the stone path, anxious about the time you’ve already lost, you hear it—deliberate footsteps behind you. You keep walking, pretending nothing is amiss. The sound fades, disappears, then returns, growing louder, closer—your heart races.

Someone is following you.

You quicken your pace until you can’t bear it any longer and whirl around, only to find Onishi standing behind you.

Great.

A disgusting smirk is already curling at the corners of his mouth, as if unsettling you brings him immense satisfaction.

“Ah, good. I thought I’d catch you before you left,” he says, stepping closer.

“What do you want?” You try to keep the words soft because softness is safe. Softness is a way to hide.

He raises an eyebrow.

“I wanted to know how things are progressing. You haven’t forgotten your task, have you?”

Your lips pull into a thin line, preparing to lie if needed.

“I haven’t forgotten. It’s going well.”

The sun feels warm now—too warm. Burning.

“I wonder…” he drawls. “You’ve been with the beast for a month now, and nothing’s come of it. Maybe you’re getting too... attached. Or perhaps you’ve lost your nerve?”

With one steady foot in front of the other, he circles closer. You stay rooted in place at the center of the pathway.

“I’m doing what’s required.” You keep your face as neutral as possible—no cracks in your facade.

“Are you?” He arches an eyebrow. “Because all I see is a girl who’s starting to look a little too comfortable in her role. You haven’t fallen for him, have you?”

Fucking hell.

All these damn accusations are catching up to you. Sukuna is just a man you find appealing and occasionally fantasize about—that’s it... Besides, it’s better to disregard the vulnerability you just revealed to your sister; it’s safer this way.

“No. I haven’t fallen for anyone.” The words stick in your throat.

"Good. Because once you deal with him, there’s something else to discuss."

“What?” you ask flatly.

“Your father owes me everything. He wouldn’t deny me a single request. So when I say I’ll take you, believe me, it’s already settled.”

Cold wraps around your body.

“Take… me?”

“As my concubine.” A slow smile reveals his teeth. “Don’t worry. Your sister will still be the one I marry and breed. I’m just thinking of... arrangements.”

“You’re disgusting,” you hiss, managing to swallow around your thick tongue. “That’s never going to happen.”

Allowing him to take your sister as his wife? Never. The things you would do if it ever came to pass…

“Disgusting?” He takes a step forward, and you step back. “It seems your time away has dulled your manners. I suppose being around that filthy beast has stripped you of any sense of propriety.”

“I haven’t lost anything,” you snap. “If anyone’s lost something, it’s you. You’ve lost your fucking mind.”

You almost wish you hadn’t said that because a vein in his temple throbs, but it’s too late now.

“Haven’t lost anything?” Spit flecks his lips.

He stalks closer.

You step back.

He keeps coming.

You keep retreating until you find yourself in the garden, wedged between shrubs. Your back hits the compound’s outer wall, the cold limestone pressing against you, hidden in the shadows that stretch across the area.

“I remember a time when you would’ve known better than to speak to me like this. But now, look at you.” His gaze travels across your body. “Acting like some feral whore.”

Fuck that. Fuck all these men.

You start to twist away, but he grabs one of your wrists. 

Your eyes shoot to him.

“Let me—”

You go weightless before your face slams into stone. The force splits an ugly seam open above your eye, blood trickling down your face. He grabs your other wrist, knowing the danger of your hands and shoves your chest forward.

“Perhaps I’ll have to remind you what your place really is.” He smiles into your hair, enjoying this.

"Get off me!” you gasp, barely breathing as he holds you there.

He presses his weight harder against you, crushing the side of your face into the rock—your skin tearing, bruises forming.

“No,” he laughs. “I will not get off you, you stupid girl.”

Behind you, his hands move to pin your arms at your back. With one hand free, he brushes your hair away tenderly.

Your stomach swirls and knots.

“Tell me, how much has he ruined you?” He drags his hand down your side, across the swell of your breasts. You flinch, and his hand finds its way to your waist. “Or should I just discover for myself?”

Whimpers fall from your throat as his hand drops, and he mutters incoherently as if in sheer reverie at having you like this. Gathering the fabric of your kimono into his hand, you no longer feel your body. It’s gone numb.

This isn’t how things should be.

Your breathing increases.

More weight is pushed at your back. The wall cuts, scratching into your face. It hurts. The smell of dirt, stone, and iron flares into your nostrils.

He grinds his hips into your backside with an unspoken threat.

Acid rises from your stomach, burning a hole up into your throat.

This isn’t how things should be.

Gritting your teeth, you turn your head, letting the limestone scrape against you until you tilt your chin away. His fingertips grope across your abdomen, then fall lower, lower, lower, and all you see is red, red, red—

Crack!

Carelessly, you throw your head backwards, aiming for whatever, anything. It doesn’t fucking matter. From the searing pain that drives into your skull and the way he roars in pain, it’s his nose.

“You bitch!” His hands drop away to clutch at his face. “You broke my fucking nose!”

Your head spins from the pain as you scramble away, swaying slightly.

All you can do is turn and stare, watching red cascade down his chin in rivers while you try to gather yourself. Your heart races, pounding, pounding, pounding, as if it might fall from your chest. Pain throbs in your face, and blood leaks into one eye. Moisture gathers along your skin, sweat pooling in your hakama and tabi socks, trickling down your legs. You’ve wet yourself.

You ignore it all, shove it all aside. Your comfort isn’t important right now. You need to focus on the bastard before you.

“Good, I’m glad,” you snarl bitterly, your mouth twitching into a smile. You taste copper and salt on your tongue. “You look better like that. You were ugly before.”

“That’s it.” He takes a heavy step toward you. “Enough of this. I’m going to fuckin—”

One shaking hand flying up, you yank a leather glove free and thrust your arm in his direction, fingers splaying.

He halts in his tracks.

“Oh, is that how it’s going to be?” he laughs, the sound stuttering through his crooked, broken nose. “You’re going to try and kill me?”

Your face darkens, shadowed by the warm crimson trickling down, providing the only answer.

He scoffs.

Keeping his eyes on you, he cautiously retrieves a tantō blade hidden in his obi.

Shit.

Gripping the hilt, he points it toward you. He’s trained in combat; you are not.

“I’d like to see you try,” he whispers, voice dropping to a mere hiss.

An ache radiates at your fingertips, but you know you can’t fight him.

Someday soon…

Saying nothing, you keep your trembling hand directed at him and maneuver yourself back onto the stony path.

“That’s what I thought,” he sniffs. “Go on, return to the shrine. I’ll see you and your—” He smiles cruelly, blood staining his mouth and teeth in a horrid grin. “—well, your soon-to-be departed mark at the harvest festival.”

With one last mocking glare, he steps away from you, and you turn to rush toward the stables.

* * * * *

Ayana’s hooves echo loudly across the shrine’s grounds, slowing as she enters the stables. With no lanterns lit at this time of night, darkness envelops the space. Sukuna’s mounts loom as mere smudges against the shadows, lumbering in their stalls, chuffing and tossing their heads.

Uraume dismounts first, and you quickly follow.

The three-day ride back was uncomfortable and gruelling. It rained on the first day and poured the next, slowing the journey even further. You're eager to retreat to your chambers, tend to the aches and bruises on your face, and rid yourself of the soiled hakama that still carries the scent of your encounter with Onishi. You tried washing it in the river during camp, but the evidence clings to it. Now, all you want is to sleep and forget the last few days.

All you want is rest.

But now, you must find a way to convince Sukuna to return to the Kasai compound in just a few weeks.

Which seems impossible.

Unlatching one of the stall doors, you guide Ayana inside. You can sense the bond forming between you as you pat her nose, and she nuzzles you affectionately before you shut it behind her.

Perhaps you will thank the monster for giving you such a beautiful creature as her—a compliment you’re not sure you’ve ever given him before. The thought alone makes your body feel both heavy and light.

With your mare tucked away, you’re on the move. Your feet clip along the ground as you brush past Uraume, who watches you closely.

“My Lady, wait.”

You stop, your shoulders sagging.

“What?” you sigh, trying to mask your exhaustion, though it’s evident.

“About what happened—”

“Nothing happened.” You glance back over your shoulder. “Nothing happened, and it will stay that way. We say nothing to Sukuna—” His name slips from your lips without his title; you’re too tired to care. “—because he’s not here. So, we never left. Nothing happened in the last six days. Nothing happened to me there. Nothing.”

When you returned to the stables at the Kasai compound to leave, you refused to discuss what had happened, even as you bled and the stench of soiled clothes clung to you. There was no need for conversation. What good could it possibly do?

Now, a silence stretches between you and the pale-haired monk as your eyes lock in the dark.

All you want is rest, and all you hope is that they’ll agree, allowing you to put this all behind you—tuck it away, bottle it up.

In the dim light, it’s barely noticeable, but they finally nod.

“As you wish, my Lady,” Uraume murmurs, their eyes tracing the bruising on your face.

They had given you another one of their swaddled pieces of ice during the ride back to reduce the swelling, but you can still feel the throb beneath your skin, and the cuts haven’t yet closed.

You nod and turn, crossing a small section of the stables, when a sliver of moonlight filters through a narrow ventilation shaft in the foundation. What it reveals makes you stop. Freeze. Your insides drop.

When you left six days ago, one stall was empty. Now, the moon exposes every stall to be full. Every horse is accounted for.

Which means…

No…

“Where in the fucking hell—” The King of Curses’ voice booms, shaking every bone inside you as his enormous body steps into the entrance of the stables. “—do you think you’ve been?”

* * * * *

🔗 Chapter 20

[notquitejiraiya]

9 Years

Well, here we are again. Back to spew some nonsense you could’ve done without about fic writing and otherwise. As a small introduction to myself, if you miraculously come across this before anything else I’ve done online: hiya, I’m Becks. When I was fifteen years old I decided that I was going to create a Naruto specific blog to post fanfiction on and 9 years later, I’m still here.

This is only my third reflection of those 9 years, the first and second of which you can find linked respectively, but it’s the 24th of September, and so here I am, ready to continue a tradition set by the wonderful @unioncolours of documenting her years in fandom. Sink your teeth in below the cut off if you so wish. If not, have a wonderful day ♥️

Before I talk about myself, a little thank you to her, to Bex. Two days ago, she posted what I consider to be her most powerful reflection yet, and I command the lot of you to read it, feel it, and walk away demanding you treat yourself and others kindly for this year and all those to come. Her heartfeltness and honesty is something all of us should learn from, and it is an honour to share my forename, space, fandom, world with her. Thank you, Bex, for all you do, here and away.

Now, the first thing I must address about this Rebecca here is “job no1”, as I called it in last year’s recap. “Job no1” was to become more concise.

It is safe to say that I did not get hired for “job no1.” Not yet, anyway. Perhaps on the future. Maybe. We’re still in the interview stages, and you know how many rounds these things take.

To set the tone of this past year, I will admit that it is the 24th of September, not just when I post this reflection, but as I write it. As mentioned, I have only written two recaps of this sort in my fandom career, both of which were written ahead of time and posted on the day with little stress. This one is being bashed out when the sun is already setting, and time is running out.

Time is something that has fascinated me for years; it’s something I’ve written scientifically on, written fiction about in short spells, and something I’ve come to respect a bit more over the last year, too. It’s something I’ve especially enjoyed playing with and writing about in the one fic that I’ve published/added to this year. In Grandmaster, one of my favourite passages from the fic and one of the bits I’m most proud of involves time. But I won’t dwell on that. Grandmaster — or GM, as I affectionately call it — will get its moment later on. For now, let us focus still on time.

I’ve had a strange amount of it this past year. I wouldn’t say I’ve had too much, nor particularly little, on average, but I certainly feel as though I have. Even if not, it’s slipped away from me, and this year that feels rather damning. You see, as you might know, I live in Finland at the moment. I say ‘at the moment’ because this time next year, when I’m writing my next recap, that will no longer be true. I already no longer live 40 minutes from the front door of my best friend — moving in the summer upped it to almost an hour — and by next year I won’t be able to jump up, hop on a train and see her when the mood (and life) suits. Many rather saddening things have hammered home time to me since last September, but even considering that one thought makes time seem rather fleeting. I need to treasure it until the summer, and so forgive me if my time at my laptop is a little less than it once was.

More relevant to you reading this, perhaps, is the amount of this year that I have been able to spend writing. Without examining the statistics, I feel like I’ve barely written this year. I know that that is ultimately not true; I have made good progress with GM, and have written snippets of works to come. But I still feel as though I haven’t had the time in year 9 that I would’ve liked, and even less than the small amount I dared to expect.

In the time I did spend writing, though, I largely spent it on GM, so it only feels right that I dedicate a sizable portion of this recap to that fic.

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that GM has consumed me. I view the world through a different lens having conceptualised, written, and frankly breathed the world in that story. I see situations in the real-life chess, and I imagine where that might happen in the GM-timeline, were it there. I see the people I envision when the scene play out like theatre performances in my head, and I think about GM, even when it’s totally irrelevant. Even just a face. I hear songs, and I think about GM. I watch movies, and I think about GM. I sit on the bus or god forbid the train, it rains or it shines, and I think about GM.

I have never, in my life, felt a story in my bones like this. When it ends, which this year it certainly must, I will cry. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t cry because it’s over — I will cry because I will remember all the countless hours that have gone into not just writing but thinking about this fic. It is a part of my daily life and has been for such a long time now. I don’t go an hour, let alone a day, without thinking about it. It has been in progress for over 2 years — during every every wrapup I have written, it has been in progress — and 2 nights ago, I finally posted a chapter, the heart of which I first sent to my friends almost as long ago.

I won’t spoil the contents, as I’m sure many of you may not have read it, but I’ll admit now that I cried as I went to sleep after posting it. It took me three months to be happy with that chapter. Three months. That long to accept a chapter that I knew I had the core, important part of set and the was happy with since almost two years ago. It felt and still feels ridiculous to me. Even three days ago I felt like, surely, I had forgotten how to write. Or maybe I just had never known how to write in the first place. I had lost my touch, at the very least, the very spark that made anyone read more than the first paragraph. How in the world could it be that I manage to write these core lines two years ago, when GMverse was Strangers and only Strangers, yet having honed the voice of this story for so long, I now couldn’t write a single good word?

I felt like such a failure. I felt like there was no way I was ever going to finish it, and if I did, I was sure I wouldn’t be happy with it. But I told myself that I was going to post the fic on Majsasaurus day and so I said, “Fuck it,” to my assignments and I finished it.

I was late hour, but I almost did it. When I read it back before posting, I cursed myself for all the clunky sentences and obnoxious descriptions — which may not even exist, I don’t know — but I still pressed post at the end, and I immediately felt proud of it.

It’s incredible when you realise you can do that. I think perhaps it’s a skill that doesn’t make sense to people when they first start writing. Not giving a fuck, that is. I know I was guilty of it for a very long time, but there’s no point in being a perfectionist, especially if you’re trying to write about realistic people. Real people are so far from perfect that you’re fucking kidding yourself if you waste your time on such things. Year 9 has been a lot about that: settling. Settling for grades in uni I once would’ve beaten myself up over. Settling for a sentence that I know could be worded better, in theory, but I’m not yet the writer who can word it that way. I’ll meet her one day, maybe. But before I get to, I have to mould her. I won’t do that without writing more and more.

In any case, in the words of Shikamaru in my own fic: “They’re just words. They don’t mean anything unless you let them.”

In line with that thought, I want to thank you all for your theories and thoughts and engagement with GM. The fact so many of you have managed to find some meaning or emotion in it that matters to you specifically, even if that differs between people, amazes me daily. It makes me emotional and humbles me and all manner of things I could write an entire reflection on.

It is on that note that, I would like to extend a particuar mention to @twnj who has brought to life so many scenes in GM with her beautiful artwork as well as created so many fun headcanons for outside of it. I am so lucky to have met and to know you, and it is a pleasure being rambly with you, my dear.

I also would like to shout out @backgroundcharacterno5 for creating one of most incredible things I have ever seen by way of this comic. You brought that scene to life more beautifully than I ever could’ve imagined even in my own head, and I cannot thank you enough for thinking of GM at all. Thank you.

And finally, the book club. Learning of your existence blew my fucking mind, and it continues to. I refer to you this way because I do not know exactly how many of you there are, but I bloody love you all, even those of you I have never spoken to. The comments I received from you and from every reader, even if I am shit at replying to them, move me and inspire me endlessly. Your analysis and theories and reactionary comments thrill me and make my heart sing. So thank you. So much.

With GM this past year, I feel I have reached a point as a writer that I never expected to, and am endlessly proud of. I never expected people to be so engaged with something I wrote — I thought I was a one- or maybe two-trick pony with song inspired banter-filled one shots and depressing britishisms. But this year showed me that that isn’t true. Do I have the widest range? No, and I’ve made peace with that. But does that devalue what I make? No. I love it. I have fun making it. And as an incredible, frankly unexpected cherry on top, so do some of you. So thank you for that. You’ve ticked so many of my author bucket list dreams in a single year.

As I have certainly mentioned in past ‘blog’-type posts, there are elements of GM which are personal to me, but in the coming year, I will introduce to you what I consider my most personal fic yet. While I may lend things I have overheard or observed, I rarely let myself into my own work too heavily. I value the power of looking over a shoulder, and do try my best to do that. But I rarely force my shoes on a character.

Piano Man (affectionately referred to by myself and those closest as GMJ) will not be like that either. Not on purpose. It will not be a 1-to-1 retelling of my life, the opinions and feelings and experiences within it will by no means be my own, but it will be an expression of things I love and know more directly than before.

GMJ will be set some 20+ years after Strangers, so I am still not escaping this universe I’ve built for myself (not that I want to escape it). It will follow one of my most beloved characters in Shikadai, and how he meets someone he really ought to have known his whole life, but by chance, has not: Inojin.

Any writing I have done that is not GM this year has been ShikaJIn. I know that many of you who follow me, do so for ShikaTema. I wonder if there are even so many of you now that joined for GM that ‘CHESS’ and ‘Cloud Nine’ are now irrelvant in my list of past fics. But regardless of what you’re here for, and whether you ship them now or not, I hope that you’ll stick around for GMJ. It is not a ship fic anymore than GM is, and I like to think that perhaps you trust me by now to tell you a story you might enjoy.

Besides GMJ I have dabbled in a couple of other potential AUs, the most promising of which is a wartime au, which came about after my dear friend Bex suggested that @clumsydragon28 and I read a book she was reading: In Memoriam. IM was one of the most fun reading experiences I have ever had, and I cannot reccomend reading with your friends enough. The joy is something I can’t quantify, and I will treasure that experience forever.

I myself have read more books this year than I have in years. I haven’t read so many fics, which saddens me, but I am so pleased that there is space in my life for fiction and stories again besides thsoe in my own head.

One of the books of this year will no doubt come when I return home to England for Christmas, because last year, darling Barb sent me (and Bex) a goodie box from across the Atlantic. In it, she placed the US edition of my favourite book: The Beach. It will get loved and cherished this year with its first physical read. I promise.

There are so many other things that I could say here, but ultimately, I don’t know that I have the time. All I can say is that I am so grateful for the people of this fandom space, old friends and new, and even those that have not shown me kindness this past year — you have hardened me to realise I am worth more than I thought.

The next recap I write will mark a decade of notquitejiraiya. That, in itself, seems absurd. But I am certain that I go into it lucky, and grateful, and really really fucking inspired.

Thank you, all, for another notquitejiraiya year. May the next be sweet and full of more frequent updates than the last! ♥️

(PS - I’ll try to be more consice next year, but I’m not making any promises)

[occasionallyprosie]

Devotion - Chapter One

AO3 Link

Despite the young Hero of Legend’s best efforts, the spirit of the Master Sword faded after Ganon was defeated (the first time). Some years and five other adventures later, Link discovers a book that will allow him to help and guide the heroes that come after him like Fi did for him during his first adventure.

AKA my Sword Spirit Legend fic

TW: kinda suicide (temporary character death, he dies to become a sword spirit). Lots of mentions of death.

A loud thump sounded through the room and Zelda jumped. A book dropped on her desk by the teen who stood before her.

"It can be done," Link said, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. "I can help them."

Zelda gave him an unsure look as she pulled the book toward her and flicked it open.

"Page 55," he told her.

She flicked through the book, finding and soon reading the aforementioned passage. Her eyes widened and she looked at Link in surprise.

He grinned. "We can do it. I can—I can help them."

She nodded slowly. "Right... Right. Between my sealing powers and your guidance, any future heroes and maidens can handle whatever comes for them. When do you want to do it?"

"I... As soon as you'd let me." He added in a far quieter voice, "I don't think I'll live much longer, anyways."

Zelda frowned, looking down at the book with a clear melancholy.

"Please, Zel. Do this for me?"

She sighed and nodded. "I will." She shut the book and stood. "Let's go."

Inside a clearing of thick forest, a large pedestal of stone sat. A golden sword with a hilt of green was laid down on the stone and two blond teenagers stood there, one holding the book, the other holding a knife.

"You're ready?" Zelda asked, looking over at Link.

He nodded, tightening his grip on the knife in his hand. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready. My house is locked up tight with all my stuff inside, and at worst, you'll come down with some guards and personally make sure everything is put somewhere safe, at best I'II be back to handle it myself."

She inhaled shakily. "Yes... Link— You really don't need to do this. You're still young."

"Zel. It's either this or... I don't know, but this will let us make sure that no matter what attacks Hyrule, what tries to destroy it, someone will be there to stop it. Forever, I'll be here to protect our kingdom." Link insisted. "And the other kingdoms too."

"But..." she sighed, shaking her head. "Alright. This is your choice... Kneel?"

He moved over to the sword and he knelt down, facing the blade. She stood behind him and held her hand out, her palm pointed to the back of his head.

Her hand began to glow a soft golden light.

She murmured lowly, words falling into a senseless stream that rolled over Link's mind and ears, filling it like cotton.

She slowly, gradually grew louder, repeating some sentences and others that were new. The light grew brighter and wrapped around him and the sword.

The light became thicker, swirling almost spherically around him, Zelda chanting in an ancient language far predating their ancient Hylian. The golden flecks within her eyes seemed to glow, mirrored exactly in Link's eyes despite them being squeezed shut and such luminosity being left unseen.

Link lifted the knife to his throat. Zelda's voice trembled as it rose and the golden magic thickened. The sword rose up in the air, lifted by the golden light.

Zelda's voice hit a high and Link slit his throat.

Bright light erupted. Zelda closed her eyes but did not move, nor did her voice falter. A long moment passed before the beaming light faded.

Zelda crumbled to her knees, book clattering to the ground and she covered her mouth as she choked out a sob. The sword was on the ground and gleaming in the sunlight, unblemished. A single drop of blood and a bloodied knife laid by her knee, that was all that was in front of her.

There was no body.

Warmth was the first thing he noticed. Then the light.

It took a long time to be aware of anything else but that. Warmth and light, darkness and cold.

Then he was in a light place, an area of warmth and cold, of light and darkness. There was more light than dark, only remnants and residue of the dark remaining, only the ghosts of the cold lingering. Winding tall things and bulking low things, opulent and bright.

He had no form, no conscious memory, nothing beyond existence. Golden power was within his reach and pure curiosity drove him to push it out, to mold it and see what it could do.

Flames exploded, sparkles erupted, the center of his awareness would shift its placement. Then things would form, colors, or the absence of it, small things that seemed to have minds of their own, animals was what he subconsciously called them, conjured, he identified them without purposeful thought.

Curiosity pushed him to see what else he could do with the power, the golden warmth that made up his awareness.

In time, a long time, he discovered something colorful. Suddenly he was no longer placed in the warm and light place that was distantly tainted by dark and cold, but in a green place on a platform of gray, with blue in the far above and a great yellow and white circle.

Just as colors exploded, memories slammed through him.

Link would have screamed if he could. He would have gasped and hyperventilated at the least. Yet he couldn't.

It worked. It worked, he—He was a spirit, a sword spirit.

All that curiosity that was usually tempered by wisdom and wariness had done one good thing for him.

He could see, it was obvious that the golden warmth was his magic, was his soul, and only through pushing it out and sensing and creating a magical image of the world allowed him to see. He could hear, as air pushed through the reach of his magic, the vibrations made sound that he just subconsciously translated to the sound of wind.

Next was just figuring out how to change form from sword to something more mobile.

In time, he figured it out. In time, he was in the same outfit he'd worn when the ritual took place. He could change his features and his clothes with a thought, not perfectly, he couldn't exactly create matter without active conjuration, so his clothes were limited, though color was not.

He returned to the castle. Zelda was a few years older, Impa had passed in his absence, Ravio was elated to see him, but they could see a difference between them now beyond their color schemes.

Ravio was getting older, Link stayed the same. In no time, for the first time, they were mistaken for father and son when going out, rather than brothers or twins. Link could feel his heart slowly crushing.

He grew older mentally too, keeping up with them in that regard, but physically?

He watched Ravio fade away first, then it was Hilda... then even others passed away, Din, Maple, and Ralph years before Ravio, then... then it was so many others. So, so, so many others.

Then it was Zelda.

Link stayed in Hyrule, watching over her daughters, doting on them, teaching most of them how to fight and helping them learn and harness the sealing power that Zelda spent years merging with the divine magic in their blood. He knew it too, as a result, but her daughters were naturals. Then their daughters too, there was a son and when the kingdom rioted, Link took that son and raised the boy himself, taking him to his orchard, which Link still owned, and raised him on. That boy maintained that orchard, wanted to expand to a whole farm that Link didn’t hesitate to help with, and even though he was aware of his identity as the prince, he wanted to stay a farmer.

Link worked between both, he kept close to his family at the orchard, and he was the royal family's secret advisor, guide, and protector.

He fought for princes to be given a chance and not be hunted. It took years before it was finally done and then there was a prince and a little princess not long after. For the first time, Link didn't have to take that little boy away and raise him away from his parents just so he wouldn't be thrown into the river or to the dogs.

Link did a lot, but it was all within the castle or at the ranch, it was all official work.

Then came a point when it became too much, seeing Hyrule change rapidly around him, and he had to leave. The temptation to just become a sword and rest in a temple or the woods was strong, to just wait until the next hero, but he was far too adventurous for that. He never could stay still long enough for that.

"Uncle Link," the young princess rushed up to him as he was about to leave the castle. "You'll come back, right?"

He knelt down, glancing at her father and brother. He was happy that the kingdom hadn't tried to kill this prince, even if he was a bit arrogant and sharp.

"One day, I will be," he told the young Princess Zelda. "But it will be a very, very long time. We may not see each other again, little nightlight."

She frowned. "But... I'll miss you."

"Don't worry, I'll be out there worrying about you and telling the goddesses to protect you," Link promised gently. "Go on, have fun while you can."

She hugged him before he left.

Next>>>

[fleacollar999]

w-werewolf ideas? -pleading eyes- (but only if ur up for it)

Hello, friend, I am finally here with my treatise on Medieval Werewolves. So this is going to be more like a Brief History of Werewolves as I Can Remember It Off the Top of My Head, Over A Year Since I Read Most of These Sources, than maybe the list of werewolf fucking ideas you might have been looking for. I hope you will agree that this rich history of werewolf lore is a GOLDMINE when you view it with the monster fucking lens. Now, the story I've been working on only has incidental werewolf-fucking, it's not a Monster Fucking story, but I will do my best to help you.

WEREWOLVES ARE REALLY FUCKING OLD. The first recorded "beast-man" is in the Epic of Gilgamesh (~2100 BCE), where Enkidu is a "bull-man" that Gilgamesh helps to find his humanity. Not werewolf specific, per se, but monster fuckers have been around a while. The most famous early werewolf is Lycaon of Arcadia (I believe a date of around 400 BCE), a king who fed Zeus the flesh of his own son cause he thought it would be funny, I guess. Zeus turned Lycaon into a wolf, or wolf-man, and that's where the word Lycan comes from. This also establishes a connection of werewolves with cannibalism.

So now I am actually going to fast forward to the Middle Ages. There is a rich, rich history of werewolves in Europe, particularly in the Slavic and Baltic regions. In Renaissance Germany, werewolf trials were held alongside witch trials. The Malleus Maleficarum, written in 1486 and was like *the* handbook for witch hunting, contained passages on identifying and capturing werewolves. (I'm pretty sure. Like I said it's been a year since I read this stuff.) So what did medieval people believe about werewolves?

There were many ways to become a werewolf. You could have the bad luck to be born on Christmas Day or (interestingly) the night of a New Moon. If you drank water that collected in the pawprint of a werewolf, you too would be cursed. If you died and an animal jumped over your corpse? Werewolf. In Livonia, it was said that if you spoke a certain incantation over your drink, you would become a werewolf upon consuming it. There were also ways to be a werewolf were one had more agency in the transformation. A wolf-pelt belt (often called a "wolf-strap", which cracks me up for reasons we won't discuss here) could be used to transform yourself into a wolf. To become human again, all you had to do was remove the belt. Some people believed you could do the same with a wolf skin. There are stories where if a werewolf's clothes are stolen while they're in wolf form, they will remain that way-- you can read about one such story, as recorded by tumblr user @qqueenofhades here! In Elliott O'Donnell's 1912 book simply titled Werewolves, there is a description of a ritual to summon some dark entity called "the Unknown" who could supposedly grant you powers of lycanthropy. Maybe don't do that. (This book also discusses other, non-European forms of Lycanthropy!)

There are ways for a non-lycan person to return a lycan to their human form; one can return their clothes to them, one can call them by their Christian name (sometimes 3 times, sometimes just once). There are accounts of a witness recognizing the werewolf due to some identifiable injury or something, and once they speak the werewolf's name he will turn back into a human.

Some ways to recognize if a person is a werewolf or not: do they have hair growing on their palms? If you cut them, is there hair growing inward from their skin? Are they just so, so hairy? In Swedish tradition, I believe, it was said that werewolves looked just like regular wolves except they had no tail-- so a werewolf would run on three legs, holding his fourth leg out behind him to look like a tail. Some werewolves still have human eyes when transformed.

A lot of the pop culture lore about werewolves comes from the 1941 The Wolf Man, which really brought the werewolf into modern times. You can check that out if you'd like, it's interesting stuff, but not in the scope of the research I've been doing.

OH MY GOD FLEA you just did a HUGE info dump on werewolves, this is not what I wanted. Yeah, I know, but you triggered my special interest gag-reflex.

But like.... Character A loves Character B and finds their clothes one night, takes them to wash, and a big hairy beast starts following Character A???

Character X gets attacked by a bad guy in the woods but a big ass wolf fends him off and gets a slice down his face. The next day Character Y has a nasty facial wound that seems somehow familiar??

The bond of being able to recognize your lover even when they're in animal form, even when you didn't know they could do that????

And I mean MY GOD just apply A/B/O shit to werewolves HELLO (that's what started this whole spiral for me).

I particularly like medieval monster fucking because the Middle Ages are just very interesting to me. There is a lot of political and religious stuff going on, a lot of culture clashing and forbidden fruit and what not. Remember how I said that there is a rich history of werewolves in the Slavic and Baltic regions? Those were the last areas of Europe to get converted to Christianity. And they resisted, HARD.

Livonia, the Baltic area where you could enchant your beer to make you a werewolf, has a famous account of a man on trial for being a werewolf. "Hell yeah I'm a werewolf," he said. "Me and my werewolf buddies go down to Hell three times a year to fight the Devil and his demons." If I recall correctly they weren't sure what to do with this guy because he *confessed* to being a werewolf and hadn't really done anything wrong. I believe there's another Livonian tale of an abandoned castle where all the werewolves gathered once a year. And something about werewolves breaking into your basement and drinking all your beer and stacking all the barrels up to the ceiling just to be little shits I guess?

Anyway, I think this is super interesting and I know this is not like "Medieval Werewolf Headcanons" but just get out your horny goggles and I am SURE you can find some good shit in this WAY TOO LONG POST.

Peace and LOve

[eridanidreams]

Snippet Sunday

tagging: @bearlytolerant, @silurisanguine, @aro-pancake, @fangbangerghoul, @atonalginger, @aislingdmdt, @fshenkoescape, @ninjaofnaps, @lisa-and-shadow, @a-cosmic-elf, @thatsgoodsquishy0, @hockeydemon42, @fomagranfalloon, @violenceandviolets, @therealgchu, @staticpallour, @artemis-crimson, @genesisarclite and @constellation2330

This is my brain right now...

...and I've been writing in four different fics for three different fandoms. Today's snip is from The Passage of Distant Stars...

Cait braced herself before turning, knowing what she'd see. It still wasn't enough; Sam in one of his relaxed leans against the wall, looking devastatingly handsome in t-shirt and jeans damn near stopped the breath in her throat. "Comfortable?"

"Mmm-hmm. Like they were made for me." He eyed her up and down; she'd expected something of the sort, and managed not to outwardly react. "So tell me, you invite every Starborn that comes in here for dinner and a drink, or am I special?"

"Oh, you're special," Cait admitted, and took some small amusement in his well-hidden surprise. Well-hidden from anyone but her, that is. "And yes, I keep those in there for someone like you." She could smell the paprika now, mingled with the other scents, sharp and just this side of acrid. She grabbed the bowl of chicken and started adding it to the pan. "But I don't invite every person, Starborn or not, in for dinner. Most of them just want to go straight through. Others," she glanced at him as he came over to lean against the fridge, "I want to go straight through. There's usually a few, though. People I've known, one way or another. People who need a little reassurance before making the jump." The tomatoes followed the chicken and she gave the whole thing a vigorous stir, then set a timer.

"I'm in that first group, I suppose," he said, a little whimsically. "Damn, that smells good! What is it?"

"Paprika Hendl," she replied. "Cora ever make you read her Dracula?"

A fond expression crossed Sam's face. "Sure did. In more than one 'verse." He chuckled. "Her and those books."

Cait couldn't hold back a chuckle of her own. "In my universe, I gave it to her." She laughed a little more softly, caught by the memory. "Gave her every book I could find, just to see the smile on her face. It was like to drive her father crazy some days." She caught a shift in his emotions, like a cloud pulling its veil across the sun. She cast him a quick glance, and his smile had turned melancholy. "I'm—"

"Nah," he interrupted. "No need to apologize. That was my—Lila—in a nutshell." Wryly, "I've gotten used to looking at another me from the outside. In a weird sort of way, it's good to know I'm loved, even if it's at a remove." He looked like he was going to elaborate on that, but instead took a deep breath and nodded at the pan. "So what's that have to do with Dracula?"

She accepted his silent request to change the subject. "Ah, yeah. It's the meal Jonathan Harker has before he gets to Castle Dracula. Traditional Central European dish. Supposed to be served with slivovitz—that's a plum brandy—but I'm not much for hard alcohol, so we'll have to make do with wine."

"Works for me," he drawled. "So how come I've never heard of this—Paprika Hendl?"

"Now that's something interesting," Cait said, gesturing him to join her at the kitchen island. (Multiple jumps and she still could not understand why Sam always blocked the fridge when she was cooking.) "Before we jumped, Cora and I had a theory that we wouldn't see a lot of big changes in the universes we went through, at least not the first few times. The idea was that as we started out from our own universe, we'd go through some 'close' universes, where the differences that made them were pretty minimal."

"Right. The—uh—butterfly effect, I think Cora called it." Sam leaned on the island across from her, eyes bright with interest and a sharp-edged curiosity shivering around him.

"Right," she nodded. "We figured it would be hard to change the big events, the ones that had lots of decisions going into them and lots of consequences coming out of them. But small things, things that don't matter much in the long run, or only to a very few people—those we expected to see a wide variety in." She cracked an egg with a flourish. "Turns out, recipes are one of those small things. Someone remembers their grandmother's recipe book, another leaves theirs behind…" A second egg. "Once I figured that out, I started looking. Found this one three, maybe four jumps back." A third egg joined the others in the dimpled flour; she gave it enough of a stir to break up the yolks, then carefully poured in some water and stirred that in, as well. "I thought maybe I could share them across timelines. Restore a little of Terra's lost heritage where I went."

He stared at her in disbelief as she took a heavy spoon and started beating the egg-flour mixture. "Hell, you have got to be the least Starborn Starborn I've ever run into. Most Starborn I've run into don't have the time of day for history. Or the people around them."

"That's the problem," Cait said absently, feeling for that moment when the dumpling batter came together. "In their search for power, they've forgotten everything that makes them human. Unity asks for part of your humanity when you go through, to give to the universe you leave behind. If you don't restore what's left of yourself, what happens when you run out?"

Sam stared at her, mouth all but agape, for several long moments. "Jesus, you're dangerous," he finally said, sounding half-awed. "No wonder they all want you dead."

She lifted the spoon and watched a clump of batter fall back into the bowl. Just about ready. "They want me dead because I don't play their game." She gave him a sardonic look. "Don't tell me I should knuckle under to a psychopath and his enabler."

"Of course not!" he countered. "But the Hunter's bad enough news that I'd pick my fights with him real careful. I ain't going out there punching a—a—terrormorph in the nose, either!"

Cait couldn't suppress a smirk. "Oh, I don't know, some terrormorphs are downright friendly compared to the Hunter and his followers." She moved back to the stove and started dropping batter into boiling water.

"Okay," he said, voice reflecting his bemusement, "You are officially weird."

[nicoforlifetrue]

the fics out!

you can read it right here on ao3 or press see more to read it on here!

part two is over here!

Everyone knows the prime time for shenanigans is three AM! After all, three AM was when most people who would stop shenanigans were asleep— like, say, Second, or Alan, or MT, or any other responsible figures who may think that the crew's definition of fun was irresponsible.

Which is why they were in their current situation: Purple dangling from a lead tied around his ankle, wings flailing around in a wild attempt to right himself, Red struggling to pull him back up onto a platform, Green clearly stuck between helping Red and breaking down laughing, Blue chewing on netherwart as he tossed yet another potion at Purple, just barely missing yet again, most likely on purpose, and Yellow staring at his latest invention, wondering how in the world things could have gone so catastrophically wrong.

“I am never, never, being your guinea pig again Yellow, you hear me!?” Purple shouted as Green finally started helping, pulling the stick onto the platform where they kicked off the lead with vengeance. “Not on your life, got that!?”

Yellow, of course, was too busy once again tinkering with the machine to do more than wave the comment off.

“Call it a rite of passage Purp!” Green exclaimed, still snickering as he threw an arm around Purple’s shoulders, yelping when a feathered appendage struck out and whacked him off the platform and sent him tumbling to the ground.

“I thought the jacket was the rite of passage?” Purple huffed sarcastically as he glanced over at Red, who in turn shrugged.

“There’s a lot of rites, just wait until Sec hands you a gun.” It’s spoken with such simplicity one might think it was a normal statement to just drop into a conversation— peering over the side, Red called out, “Green you okay?”

This was followed by the sound of breaking glass and Blue shouting up confirmation.

“You guys are crazy, you know that right? Are all desktoppers like this or is it just you five?” It’s mostly spoken to himself, as Purple watches Red jump down the same height Green had just fallen, following after him with the primary difference being that he could fly and thus wouldn’t break anything on the way down.

“Healing potion?” Blue offers him when he lands; he takes it, downing the bottle with one gulp out of habit, most potions tended to be either overly bitter or extremely sweet, trust Blue to walk that line like a master. “And I’m pretty sure it’s all desktoppers, Cho is the same, so, y’know.”

“Still have not told me who Cho is, but I’ll take it,” Purple mutters, handing back the bottle and watching with fascination as whatever Red and Green had been discussing turns into wrestling. He can't tell if its lighthearted or actually aggressive, but they tumble their way over to Yellow, who, once hit, proceeds to join in, the three soon just becoming a blurred ball of limbs.

“Welp I’m gonna go join them, you too or you just going to watch like Sec does?” Blue asks, smashing what was probably a strength potion at his feet. By then Red’s dogs had joined in, snipping at clothes and managing to drag Green via his jacket out of the tangled limbs, Yellow having pulled out the command block staff.

“I’m good,” Purple states, taking a step back and watching baffled as Blue dives into the fight via punching Yellow so hard the staff is left spinning mid air.

How, in the everloving world, was this the group he cashed his chips in with? A group currently at each other’s throats like their lives depended on it— only, he knew that wasn't actually how they were fighting, because he had seen that type of fighting— no, instead they were just fighting like wild animals. There were no rules like most stick fights, no idea what a stopping point looked like, no point system or anything, in fact he's pretty sure Green just bit Yellow.

He’s so fascinated by the fight that he doesn't notice the blurring at the edges of his vision at first, but clearly the crew does; Red’s the first one to act, suddenly stilling to a complete stop, ears twitching (why did he have cat ears anyway?) and eyes darting around fearfully. Just seconds after Red stops, so do the rest, their own eyes looking around at what turns out not to be a blurring at the edge of Purple’s vision, but an actual, physical, almost heat puddle effect surrounding the five of them, while the familiar blue of Alan’s computer warps and blends with a more stone gray color.

He can feel the others’ backs collide with his as they form a circle— he can feel each of their breaths now, deep and calm, exactly like how his father taught him to breathe in a fight.

Red approaches the mirage first, breaking formation, and, before any of them can grab him back, pokes then lays a hand against the solid heat haze, his ears pinned back.

The blue keeps fading into that slate grey as Red then punches the haze. Purple can feel their breaths catch as the dome of blur rings out like metal struck— Red, physically the strongest of them barring Sec, struck again, and the dome cracked.

Spiderwebs cover the surface of this odd dome, and Purple swears he can see some sort of silent communication ring through the other three, who draw weapons; he follows their lead as Red strikes again, the blues almost completely gone now and the cracks growing wider— the familiar stench of the city blends with the smell of the desktop, oil and gas mixed unpleasantly with cooking smoke and wood.

The last swing Red takes shatters the dome, and once again Purple feels their breath catch. He's reminded then that they’d probably never been to the city, being the desktoppers that they were, had probably never even considered it.

Everything is tense, Red glancing around, ears perked, Purple feeling his wings rise and spread to cover Green and Yellow who were closest, the four slowly lowering weapons as they looked around the unknown space.

“Where, are we?” Yellow asks first, putting away his weapon and breaking formation by stepping forward.

“The city I think, some alleyway I don’t know,” Purple responds, heading to the entrance. “Let me get a look at a sign and I can probably get us back to my dad’s.”

“That was weird right? Like, really weird?” Green asks in a mock whisper, shading his eyes and looking up to the sky. “Someone had to have done that, it wasn't something you did right Yellow?”

“No of course not, you saw me, I wasn't doing anything but trying to get you off me!” 

“Okay, let’s calm down and focus, let’s get home, tell Second, and maybe he’ll have an idea, if he wakes up and finds us gone he's going to be so pissed,” Blue interrupts, stepping between the two before another fight can break out.

Purple’s only half listening as he peeks out of the alleyway, looking for a street sign or familiar landmark, grinning when he finds exactly what he's looking for.

“Good news, we’re only a five minute walk from my dad’s place,” he calls back, waving the group over— all of them but Red do as asked, but the last member stays still, staring at a piece of paper he's holding. “Come on Red, what's the hold up?”

Red doesn't answer, just walks over and holds out the paper he was staring at; the others all gasp in what he knows is terror, but he doesn't see what the big deal is. The paper has rocket corp’s insignia on the bottom, some propaganda slogan scrawled across it that's just as cookie cutter as the rest. The picture used is of a black hollow head, hair in a bun and eyes a bright, unnatural red— they’re staring at the camera as if annoyed to be bothered, arms crossed, and mouth turned up in a sneer.

Actually, now that he looked closer, they did look kind of like that one terrorist guy from a couple years ago, what was his name? It was real pretentious sounding, something like…

“What is The Chosen One doing working for rocket corp??”

[mayhemchicken-varneyposting]

Varney the Vampire, Chapter 20: I Have Crossed Oceans Of Pointless Digression To Find You

[Previous chapter] [Next chapter]

Flora hears footsteps approaching the door to her room. Assuming it must be Henry coming back, she cheerfully tells her visitor to come in.

It is not Henry. It's VARNEY, THE VAMPYRE!

Varney is, he insists, only here to talk. Flora would sooner jump in a volcano, but reluctantly agrees to hear him out. Varney briefly confesses to wanting the house really badly, before launching into a flowery confession of deep and undying love for Flora, far surpassing (so he claims) that of Charles Holland. Flora seems unimpressed by this, asking him if that was all he came to say.

Varney warns her that her brothers and/or Charles are definitely going to challenge him to a duel, which he will definitely win on account of being a vampire, and they will be killed. He offers to not kill them, however, if Flora will convince them to sell or let the Hall to him; furthermore, if she does this, he promises she'll never have to see him again.

Flora agrees to this, and it seems as if their negotiation is going to conclude in relative peace; but just then, Varney takes a step towards her, and she panics. Flora screams, Varney grabs her by the waist for some reason (I think the intended read is that she was falling over and he caught her?), she screams again and faints.

Varney's entering his Creep Behavior era. He spends quite a bit of time on this "deeply in love with Flora" thing, and I can't quite tell if it's a sincere infatuation or a Bit he's doing as part of his plot to drive the Bannerworths out of their house. Personally I lean towards it being a bit, because he ALWAYS follows up his weird love declarations with some attempts to manipulate Flora into leaving and/or giving him more information to fuel his schemes. It's actually kind of hilarious how insincere it makes the love declarations feel. He's not Erik the Phantom, he's a Scooby-doo villain. (You will see me say this a lot. This is because Varney the Vampire is Victorian Scooby-doo. This is not an exaggeration or a joke, that is EXACTLY the vibe this story has.)

Anyway.

He had drawn up his tall, gaunt frame to its full height, and crossed his arms upon his breast; there was a hideous smile upon his sallow countenance, and his voice was deep and sepulchral, as he said,— "Flora Bannerworth, hear that which I have to say, and hear it calmly. You need have nothing to fear. Make an alarm—scream, or shout for help, and, by the hell beneath us, you are lost!"

I keep picturing the "hideous smile" as Dreamworks Face for some reason. I am, of course, extremely biased towards Varney, but I do take his behavior here as evidence that he's not trying to genuinely charm or woo Flora. We know he is capable of almost supernatural charm; he is clearly not using it right now.

"You are terrified," said Varney, "and yet I know not why."

Buddy, I think you know perfectly well why.

"The house, and all within, I covet," he said, uneasily. "Let that suffice."

We get a glimpse of his true motives here. He wants the house; more specifically, he wants something in the house. ("All within" is not referring to Flora or her family, he wants them gone.)

Varney now moves on to give a speech which puts Coppola's Dracula to shame:

"I tell you, Flora Bannerworth, that he who talks to you of love, loves you not but with the fleeting fancy of a boy; and there is one who hides deep in his heart a world of passion, one who has never spoken to you of love, and yet who loves you with a love as far surpassing the evanescent fancy of this boy Holland, as does the mighty ocean the most placid lake that ever basked in idleness beneath a summer's sun."

Interestingly, he does turn on the Vampire Charm while he's making this little speech, and I feel this passage confirms that it is indeed a supernatural ability:

There was a wonderful fascination in the manner now of Varney. His voice sounded like music itself. His words flowed from his tongue, each gently and properly accented, with all the charm of eloquence. Despite her trembling horror of that man—despite her fearful opinion, which might be said to amount to a conviction of what he really was, Flora felt an irresistible wish to hear him speak on.

Unfortunately for him, the only effect it has is to dispel Flora's fear of him enough to give this hilariously dismissive response:

"You are much mistaken. On the constancy and truth of Charles Holland, I would stake my life." "No doubt, no doubt." "Have you spoken now that which you had to say?"

"You're wrong. Moving on."

Varney now claims to be able to see the future, though I think he's speaking figuratively. Either way, I can say with confidence that future sight is not one of his supernatural abilities.

Anyway, what he tells Flora is less of a prediction and more of a threat.

"Your brother or your lover will challenge me." "Oh, no, no." "I say such will happen, and I can kill either. My skill as well as my strength is superhuman."

Your skill didn't seem very superhuman in Chapter 157 when you tripped on a tree root during a sword fight and got your dumb ass killed.

He promises to spare Flora's loved ones, and leave her alone, if she can convince Henry to give him the house. He also tries to get her to keep this meeting a secret, which she refuses.

"I will not; I have no secrets from those I love." "Indeed, you will find soon the expediency of a few at least; but if you will not, I cannot urge it longer. Do as your wayward woman's nature prompts you."

Varney...buddy...you are not coming off looking good in this chapter.

He then says this, unprompted:

"Young blood," said Varney, "mantles in your veins."

Just couldn't resist sneaking one of those creepy vampire remarks in there, I guess.

The end of the chapter is, as alluded to in the summary, a bit confusingly worded. I can't tell if the implication is that he was about to attack her, or that she was starting to faint and he caught her.

"Thanks—a thousand thanks. You may not live to regret even having made a friend of Varney—" "The vampyre!" said Flora. He advanced towards her a step, and she involuntarily uttered a scream of terror. In an instant his hand clasped her waist with the power of an iron vice; she felt hit hot breath flushing on her cheek. Her senses reeled, and she found herself sinking. She gathered all her breath and all her energies into one piercing shriek, and then she fell to the floor. There was a sudden crash of broken glass, and then all was still.

I think it is probably ambiguous on purpose, since we're clearly supposed to be afraid for Flora; but if he did intend to attack or bite her, he evidently thought better of it, because, well, let's just say...

Next: An exciting chapter for the Kool-Aid Man anon

[mamichigo]

Cyno has been watching the scene unfold for quite awhile now, though he's no less confused than he was five minutes ago. Alhaitham, unaware of his gaze, continues to chat with the two little kids hanging off his frame. Ah, make that three. There's a girl, smaller than the other two boys, valiantly attempting to climb up Alhaitham's leg.

"What's this word?" One of the older kids asks, peering over Alhaitham's shoulder with two little arms wrapped around his neck.

Alhaitham pauses his reading, eyes scanning back to the word the boy just pointed at.

"'Bewildering', it means confusing or difficult to understand."

"Oh, oh, I get it!" The other boy exclaims. "That's just like you! Mister, you're be...be..."

"Bewildering."

"Be will daring!"

"Hm. Your pronunciation is a little off, but your effort to break the word down to more familiar sounds is admirable," Alhaitham nods solemnly.

"Yeah, I didn't get any of that, Mister."

The two boys laugh as if Alhaitham just told them the greatest joke known to men. The little girl, clueless as to what's happening around her, breaks into a toothy grin and claps at them.

It's bizarre to watch. Alhaitham doesn't get along with most people, and Cyno never pictured him to be patient with kids. And yet, here he is: somehow, he hasn't even made a sarcastic quip this entire time.

(If Paimon saw him now, she'd surely have a few words for him.)

"What's going on here?" Cyno finally asks, curiosity winning over him.

Alhaitham doesn't seem surprised to see him.

"They were looking for Candace," he says. "I'm just a convenient substitute. Are your meetings done?"

"For the time being. We've only just started to formulate a plan on how to make the passage between the desert and the rainforest safer, but..." He sighs. "It's only the start, there's still a lot to be done. Oh, and Candace stayed behind to talk to Dehya. I'm afraid she'll be awhile."

The children (who had been not-so-subtly paying attention to their conversation) all deflate in unison. Alhaitham raises his eyebrows at the boys.

"You heard the General Mahamatra. It seems you'll have to find something else to do for the rest of the day."

The two of them grumble as they jump off of Alhaitham's shoulders and stalk to a corner to whisper amongst themselves. Cyno tunes them out as a gesture of goodwill. He doesn't need to scare the villagers any more than he already does.

"And this one?" Cyno crouches by the little girl, smiling when she beams up at him.

"Too young to speak much, as far as I can tell. It seems she was attracted by the commotion the boys were making."

"I'll help you find her caretakers later." Cyno gently sits by her side, allowing the girl to tug at his hair. "Sorry I've made you come all this way with me."

"I don't mind. For now, I'm the closest thing the Akademiya has to a representative, excluding the Dendron Archon herself. I'm sure you understand it's a little too soon for her to be the face of the rainforest around here."

Cyno nods absentmindedly. He scrunches up his nose when a strong tug stings at his scalp. Is he supposed to let her continue, or chastise her for hurting him? Is it even okay to chastise someone else's kid? He's not sure. For now, he settles for prying her fingers off his hair.

"Everything alright?" Alhaitham asks, smiling with amusement. "It looks like you're in quite the heated battle, General."

"If you can tell, then give me a hand."

"Me?" Alhaitham held a hand to his chest. "I wouldn't know the first thing about helping with children."

"I can't tell whether you're lying or not sometimes," Cyno huffs. "I'd hand off this one to you, but it looks like you're already in demand."

He raises his chin towards the two boys, currently waving to get Alhaitham's attention.

"Are you going?"

Alhaitham hums. "Do you think I should go?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, I don't have any particular reason to go, and I still would like to finish my book. But if the General says I should go, then I will."

The girl coos at him and pats his cheeks. She could probably see him blush. Somehow, it's a lot more embarrassing to be seen like this by a child, so Cyno resolutely looks away.

"You should go play with them and lose at whatever game they've come up with," he jokes, hoping to disperse the charged air between them.

Alhaitham seems to ponder his words for a moment before closing his book and crouching by Cyno.

"I've recently found out there's very little I wouldn't do to make you happy," he declares, as monotone as one would talk about the weather.

"Testing the limits of that hypothesis is a good enough pastime, at the very least. I'm off then."

He gently lays a hand on Cyno's head, then pinches the little girl's cheek. Cyno watches him walk away, mouth agape.

And as Alhaitham "loses" in a race against two kids, Cyno looks down at his little partner, grinning despite himself.

"He really is be will daring, don't you think?"

She happily gurgles her agreement.

[deuterosapiens]

So, after a tedious morning, I decided to sit outside, enjoying the afternoon breeze, and read. I spent most of this time being rather thoroughly devoured by mosquitoes and having my feelings exposed to any car that happened to pass by.

So, I found this passage absolutely adorable:

And this one:

It's the first Full Moon since Robbie's been back, and a few interesting things have happened. The first, Robbie's trying to Any% his courting with Kelly. Unfortunately, he's taking courting advice from the terminally single Carter. If any fan art of this passage exists, please direct it my way:

Kelly and Robbie do have some adorable bonding here, but I will be doing us all a grave disservice if I do not share this with the world. I might have done it, I might have found the actual most bizarre passage T J Klune has ever written:

We also learn that Robbie is basically reverse cat-nip to Omegas during the Full Moon.

A couple of other things before I get to the meat of what I want to talk about:

Everyone gets to engage in another round of Pack Bonding Robbie-Pummeling Therapy. Everyone has been Therapied. Robbie accepts his fate as the Bennett Pack Punching Bag.

Carter's actions are beginning to make me wonder if Elizabeth is at all concerned about the possibility that she will not be having grandchildren. Actually, Carter's actions make me question if the resolution to Kelly's asexuality is that Carter acts as a surrogate to Robbie's physical desires and Kelly supports his emotional needs. Seriously Carter, chill. Even Elizabeth, who very much tries to stay as far away from her children's sex lives as possible, is telling you to chill. Cold shower, my man, acquaint yourself with one!

Chris-Tan and Robbie are making up for him basically murdering them. The scene that follows is incredibly weird, and does nothing to assuage my belief that basically everyone not in a mated pair wants to jump Robbie's bones. Actually, I'm not exactly sure if I'm missing something here or if Chris and Tanner are in-fact definitely the most codependent couple in the universe, as they can't even die alone. I do not care about their canon sexualities, these two are basically those two pirates from Pirates of the Caribbean. You know the ones.

Rico and Robbie have a bonding moment. Which means Rico no longer desires to murder Robbie. And there was much rejoicing!

So Kelly's gotten himself human sick with a human cold and Robbie cannot be more adorkable in his ability to blow this completely out of proportion. But this moment leads to, well, this:

So Robbie gives Elizabeth the journal he'd stolen from Alpha Bitch Hughes, in which she finds a set of letters Thomas had written to their sons' spouses (good for Thomas accepting early on that none of his children were likely straight).

Oh, bite me!

I'm serious, I did not need this, I did not want this, my glasses became quite mysteriously extremely damp, thus rendering the rest of this chapter quite difficult to read. Very mysterious.

I've spent a lot of this joking and mocking, but I'm very happy to see that we have started to reestablish our Pack. I'm happy that Robbie and Kelly are putting forth the effort. I love these idiots so much.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Loki Novel 1x3 Sylki Thoughts

So Loki novel update, I've just finished reading the chapters covering 1x3 and honestly I loved every page, every word of it. For me it was really beautiful watching Sylki's relationship evolve over 1x3 and it was even more beautiful reading it because you had that extra level of their inner thoughts and let me tell you there are some real Sylki gems in these chapters. Fair warning this one is going to be a bit longer than my last post because there is a lot more to cover. Obviously spoilers for season 1 and the novelisation, so lets jump in.

So this first part is less Sylki related and more just Sylvie related but I thought it was a small but interesting insight into just how being hunted by the TVA has effected her. This is a description she gives right after she steps through the timedoor into the TVA.

Circular lights glowed against the dull concrete of the ceiling. They looked like eyes to Sylvie. So many eyes. Watching.

She had finally done it.

She had finally broken into the TVA.

... The voice on the PA system said, All minutemen to the armory. Protect the timeline. The words almost made Sylvie want to scream, but she didn't. Instead, she tied her hair back, as she always did when she was preparing for a fight. (pgs 185-186)

A couple of things caught my attention here, the first was how she describes the lights as looking like eyes and the feeling of being watched. It's a seemingly irrelevant observation but it shows us how after being hunted and chased by the TVA for eons Sylvie is constantly on edge and always feels like she is being watched. Something as normal as lights become something that gives a feeling of being unsafe and threatening.

Then you have the line about how hearing the PA system saying 'protect the timeline' makes Sylvie want to scream. Again its just three little words but they bring out such a visceral reaction in Sylvie because of what they meant to her. Protecting the timeline is what lead to her being taken from her home and family, that lead to her entire timeline being destroyed and to her being hunted her whole life. So its no wonder that those words made her want to scream and got her revved up for the fight that was to come. But this passage did make me feel real bad for Sylvie and it was just a description of her surroundings.

The next part I want to talk about is right after Loki interrupts and confronts Sylvie outside the gold elevator.

He pointed his knives toward her. " A few questions," he said calmly.

Sylvie sighed. "Have you really got nothing else better to do?" She walked slowly toward him, and they circled one another like predators fighting over the same carcass. (pgs 188-189)

This imagery of them fighting over the same carcass is intriguing. I think the carcass is a metaphor for the TVA, that is what they are both fighting over. It's interesting to me because they are both fighting each other, and Sylvie sees Loki as an obstacle to getting what she wants. But really they both want the same thing, are both fighting for the same thing, to get to whoever is behind the TVA (at this point they believe its the timekeepers) and make them pay for stealing their lives from them. They just haven't figured out yet that they are both fighting for the same goal.

I also think it is interesting that in this simile Loki and Sylvie are described as the predators considering they both see the TVA as this all powerful, omnipotent organisation, you would think the TVA would be the predators. But ultimately this simile does come to pass as the TVA is torn apart by Sylvie and Loki, they are the ones that bring HWR and the TVA down making them the true predators and the TVA is indeed the carcass.

Ok next. Sylki have just fallen through the timedoor onto Lamentis-1 and are both scrambling for the tempad and we get this little moment.

He couldn't let her get it. It was the only thing connecting the two of them, his only asset. It was a thing she wanted. And Loki knew that the way to keep someone close was always to hold on to whatever it was they wanted. (pg 191)

Yeah Loki really is down bad for Sylvie he just hasn't realised it yet. Jokes aide though, I do think that this shows that Loki not only still feels a connection to Sylvie but also wants to maintain that connection, he clearly still sees her as his way forward, his destiny.

However this also sheds alot of light on his past manipulations and actions in previous films, and its really rather sad. He's learnt that the way to keep people close to him is to hold onto what they want. Thor wanted to protect earth as it was Jane's home so Loki takes New York hostage not because he wants to rule but so that he can keep his brother close. I think its the same with the tesseract, he knows its something Thor and Odin want so they can keep it safe in Asgard's vaults, so to keep them close he takes it. Obviously I don't think that is his only motivation for doing those things but this line does make me think it was a contributing factor, if so then I think its really sad that Loki feels like he has to manipulate those he cares about into staying close to him, that he doesn't believe that they will choose to be around him because they love him.

Speaking of Loki and Sylvie fighting over the tempad, Loki apparently was enjoying himself to start with:

It was quite fun, he decided. Fighting another Loki. (pg 193)

However he also seems to grow tired of it really quickly and seems to get frustrated that she doesn't want to team up.

"Fine," said Loki, quite tired of being made fun of by a Loki who didn't even want to be called Loki. (pg193)

"Fine!" she said, snapping around and drawing her sword.

Instantly, Loki drew his knives. But exhaustion took over him. This felt like deja vu. He sighed deeply. "Look," he said, "are we really about to do this here? Again?" (pg 198)

"I don't know. A truce?"

The fugitive variant scoffed as if this was the most insane idea she'd ever heard of. (pg 198)

At some point he had put his knives away, uninterested in fighting. (pg 199)

I think him getting tired of fighting her so quickly and being the first one to over a truce goes back to what I said in my last post about Loki seeming to have some level of respect for Sylvie because she is a Loki variant and he feels some kind of connection to her because of that. Speaking of the offer of a truce its, again, interesting that Loki offers one but Sylvie finds the idea insane and how I think that also links back to the difference in the way Loki and Sylvie feel about the Loki identity. To Sylvie the idea of accepting a truce with a Loki is insane, but for Loki its the very fact that they are both Loki variants that he feels he can offer a truce.

The question of what makes a Loki a Loki comes up alot in the first few chapters that cover 1x3. There's also alot of exploration of how Sylvie and Loki are similar and how they are different and how that plays into their individual identities as well as how it relates to the Loki identity.

One of the most obvious differences between Sylvie and Loki is that Loki is proud to be a Loki whereas Sylvie has rejected the Loki identity, which makes sense for her as being a Loki is what led to her being captured and subsequently hunted by the TVA. So of course she would take a new name and make a new identity for herself, however this rejection of the Loki identity by Sylvie is something that clearly confuses Loki.

"Don't ever call me that," she said, circling him like a lioness.

"Tech-savvy?" said Loki, a little confused.

"No," she snarled. "A Loki." (pg 193)

"I'm sorry," said Loki, "but I'm not calling some faded photocopy of me 'Loki'."

"Good," she said, totally unfazed by the insult, "'cause that's not who I am anymore. I'm Sylvie now." (pgs 201-202)

"It's not very Loki-like."

"Yeah? said Sylvie. "What exactly makes a Loki a Loki?"

"Independence. Authority. Style." said Loki, pleased he could sum up his own nature so succinctly. But Sylvie wasn't having it. (pg 202)

"I'd never have done that." Loki stopped walking.

Sylvie didn't pause. "Yeah?" she said. "Well, I'm not you." (pgs 202-203)

It's kind of funny that Loki tries to insult and get at Sylvie by calling her a faded photocopy of a Loki but Sylvie really couldn't care less. It does seem like Loki really struggles with this idea that Sylvie has chosen a new identity and name and I couldn't help wondering why it bothered him so much, why he's so put out that she is not the same as him and I do have a theory on that. I think its because he's been told over and over, and particularly by the TVA, who he is, what his nature is and how that's written in stone and who he is meant to be, how he can't change. But then he meets a variant of himself that has built themselves a whole new identity and is choosing who they want to be as opposed to being told who they are. It's like meeting Sylvie has shined a torch on all the lies he's been told about himself that he has come to believe.

Another way the novel highlights the difference between the life Loki had versus the life Sylvie had is by mentioning several times that Loki feels exhausted whilst Sylvie is full of energy.

Then she kept on running. Where does she get this endless energy? thought Loki. (pg 196)

He tried to catch his breath. He hadn't run like that in a long time. His chest burned. (pg 197)

Loki was exhausted, but Sylvie didn't seem to have lost any of her energy. (pg 203)

This shows how Loki lived a life of luxury and relative safety as a Prince of Asgard. He is used to comfort. Whereas Sylvie has had to learn to always be aware and on the move and thus has a constant high energy, she's never had the luxury of taking life slow or taking a moment to gather herself because for her stopping for a breather could mean death.

As different as their upbringings were though, they are still similar in many ways and being variants of each other means despite being strangers they also already know the other really well. Because of this they are also able to figure out each other's motive's really quickly and we get this interesting to and fro where they are both kind of one upping the other and catching the other out. Like when Loki immediately figures out that Sylvie is trying to enchant him:

Then he felt the fugitive variant's hands around his neck. He flinched, then realised she wasn't trying to choke him. Her touch was light, and a faint thrumming came from her fingertips. When he met her eyes, he saw that she was in a state of deep concentration.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"What are you doing?" she echoed.

"You're trying to enchant me?" said Loki. He was still panting. "It won't work." (pgs 197-198)

I really loved this moment when I watched it in the show, there was that underlying energy and tension to it and I loved how their silhouettes made the shape of a heart. Reading the scene in the novelisation reminded me of just how much I loved it in the show. Side note but I do find it kind of funny that at first Loki thought Sylvie was trying to choke him, makes sense so far all she's done is try to fight him. But I love the way he describes her touch and the way her magic feels, it sounds like it feels pleasant to him.

Another instance of them being able to suss each other out pretty quick is when Sylvie figures out Loki's motive for saving her when they were running from the falling asteroids.

"Well you're full of it because you need me to get that thing recharged. That's the only reason you saved me out there."

Takes a Loki to know a Loki. (pg 199)

Them knowing each other so well also means they know how to get under the others skin. There are a few instances where they take digs at each other and are put out by the others comments.

"But now I see," he said panting, "you lack vision."

The words got under Sylvie's skin. She did not lack vision. She had never lacked vision. Vision was what had gotten her this far. (pg 189)

"So naturally," she said, "you went to work for the boring, oppressive time police."

"I don't work for them," said Loki, a little wounded. (pg 202)

"Okay," she said, holding out one hand and wriggling her fingers. "Hand it over."

Loki laughed. "Pitiful," he said. "I'm not giving it to you. You're going to have to try harder than that."

He seemed to have gotten under her skin. She marched past him, her mouth tight. (pg 204)

I think them being so different in some ways and coming from very different backgrounds whilst also knowing themselves and therefore each other so well and knowing how to push each others buttons, creates this really interesting dynamic and fun banter between them. Eventually even they begin to notice the similarities between them.

Sylvie watched. It didn't seem like Loki could resist a good fight. Maybe they weren't so different after all. (pg 226)

Ok now we are at the really good part, the train scenes. Trust me when I tell you as amazing as these scenes are in the show they only get better here in the novel, there are parts that made me feel all warm and fuzzy and there were some parts that stabbed me right in the heart. This is also where I think we see a big shift in the dynamic of Sylki's relationship and this shift comes when the subject of their mothers come up.

They sat forward, their elbows on the table, staring each other down, their eyes in a duel that neither could break.

"My mother," said Loki, not able to stop the tenderness from leaking into his voice.

This seemed to disarm Sylvie. She glanced away. She swallowed. Then, slowly, she turned her head back to Loki and looked at him- really looked at him. "What was she like?" she asked. Softly. Sincerely. (pg 214)

I love that line about their eyes in a duel neither could break, it really captures that intense chemistry and eye contact they have in that scene. But I also do think its interesting that its the mention of Loki's mother that makes Sylvie drop her guard a little and actually look at Loki, to see him as more than just an obstacle in her way. I think hearing that tenderness in his voice, which by the way is so adorable and sweet I always loved the relationship he had with his mother, makes Sylvie see him as a person, he's not just an annoying Loki but a son who clearly loves his mother. In response to this she herself then becomes softer and more sincere when talking to him. Then the subject of Sylvie's mother comes up.

"Hang on a second. So, tell...tell me about your mother."

"I barely remember her," said Sylvie wistfully. "Just blips of a dream at this point."

Loki looked into her eyes. There was real sadness there. Real grief. He remembered his own mother. Just like this train was hurtling toward the ark, he was hurtling toward losing her. (pg 215)

Just like Loki talking about his mother made Sylvie really look at Loki and really see him for the first time, hearing Sylvie talk about her mother makes Loki stop and really study Sylvie, he sees her sadness and her grief and that makes him think about his own sadness and grief, that line about how he was hurtling towards losing his mother really is a gut punch, I mean pull my heart right out because it would've hurt less. However it is interesting because here we are seeing Loki relate to Sylvie, empathising with her and it also makes him reflect on his own life.

"You know," he said, "when I was young, she'd do these little bits of magic for me. Like turn a flower into a frog. Or cast fireworks over the water."

This time Sylvie did not look away.

"It all seemed impossible," he continued. "But she told me that one day I'd be able to do it, too, because..." He paused, his voice trailing off. "Because I could do anything," he finished. Yes, he had been lucky. He knew that now. (pgs 215-216)

Seeing Sylvie's sadness and her admit she no longer really remembers her mother makes Loki realises how lucky he really was, he had a mother that doted on him, that believed in him and who took the time to teach him magic. This next bit I really do love and that is Loki's reaction to seeing Sylvie sad.

Sylvie nodded, but she looked sad. She stared off into the distance.

"You wanna see?" said Loki, hoping to cheer her up. He held up a hand. Out of his palm, fireworks crackled and exploded in miniature, making a delicate bouquet of light and color. (pg 216)

When I saw the scene in the show I thought that Loki made the fireworks because he was thinking of his mother and also because he wanted to show off a little because he was trying to impress Sylvie. I loved the scene because it was just so sweet and tender and was a side of Loki we hadn't really seen before. Seeing, here in the novel, that he did the fireworks because he could see that Sylvie was sad and wanted to cheer her up adds a whole new level of 'aww cute' to the scene. I'm really looking forward to going back and watching that scene again with this added context. I think that is what makes reading the novel so fun is it is giving me all this new context to scenes which makes rewatching the show feel like a new experience again.

But Loki using the fireworks to attempt to cheer Sylvie up is also interesting because, firstly, it shows that he is capable of feeling compassion and empathy for another person despite being portrayed as being a very selfish and uncompassionate person in the past. Secondly it shows that even in this short amount of time that Loki has known Sylvie he has come to care about her enough that he doesn't want to see her sad. Already he just wants her to be ok.

A couple of other small details to note, is that throughout this bonding scene there is quite a bit of focus on them keeping eye contact and them looking at each other. The other thing of note is the way the fireworks are described as a bouquet, this makes me think of first dates and how you might give someone a bouquet of flowers, maybe its just me but this train scene always gave me first date vibes.

So now lets talk about love. Yes we are at the Love is hate, Love is Mischief conversation Sylki have and again this a scene that only gets better when you read the novel and get that insight into what the characters are actually thinking and feeling.

"What was that?" He pretended to write. "Love is...Love is... hate."

"Oh, shut up," said Sylvie.

Loki smiled with amusement and disappeared the paper and quill in a spray of green light.

Sylvie looked like she was trying not to find his joke funny, but she still smiled, ever so faintly. (pg 218)

It's nice to see Sylvie starting to let her guard down a little. As I said earlier, it really is during the train scene that we see Sylki's dynamic begin to shift. Whereas before they were very hostile towards each other and would look for ways to get under the others skin, here we see them actually enjoying each others company. What is even more interesting is that right before this we get this inner thought from Loki.

Sylvie stared at him. She looked unimpressed. Did she have to be so serious all the time? He thought a change of subject might help. (pg 218)

Just like how when he saw her sad he tried to cheer her up, now Loki is actively trying to get her to loosen up, to relax and have some fun and again I just find that interesting that even at this point he cares enough about her to want her to be happy and to feel safe and relaxed. Its also interesting that the subject that ends up being brought up is Love. Especially as this conversation seems to lead Loki to a bit of a realisation about his feelings.

"Managed to maintain quite a serious long distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another."

Loki laughed. She was- genuinely- very funny. He almost...liked her. (pgs 218-219)

Loki has this realisation that he might actually like Sylvie, with the emphasis on the word like it makes me think its less like as a friend and more like in a romantic way and what's fascinating is that not long after this revelation he begins to become uncomfortable with the subject of love.

Sylvie didn't take her eyes off him. She raised her eyebrows like a question. "Love is mischief, then," she said.

Loki swallowed, the bubbles burning down his throat. "No," he said. "Love is..." The train rumbled along its tracks. The diamonds of purple sky had darkened slightly. "Uh... something I don't want to think about."

If in doubt, he thought, avoid the subject. That tactic had always served him well. (pg 219)

Now quick disclaimer, alcohol does not exist in this novel, if they were drinking alcohol in a scene in the show then it is substituted for something else in the novel. Because of this the line Loki says in the show 'something I might have to have another drink to think about' has been changed. Obviously they would had to have substituted it with a line that had the same meaning and sentiment behind it. They could have gone for something like 'something I need more time to think about' but they went with 'something I don't want to think about.' So Loki has had this realisation that he might like Sylvie, which is followed by a very personal and intimate conversation about love and then a flirtatious line from Sylvie and in his panic and confusion over these new feelings he is experiencing he slams on the brakes hard. It's straight to avoidance. I also think the imagery of the train rumbling and the sky darkening really shifts the tone of the scene, almost like Loki is turning away from the possibility of love and back to the lonely darkness of self isolation, but I could also be looking far too deeply into that.

It's after this that, in the show, Loki gets drunk and sings the Asgardian song to Sylvie, though in the novel he's not drunk just having fun, which not going to lie does come across as a little silly but I can look pass that. Sylvie has an interesting reaction to the song which she describes as 'mournful' and as something that sounded like a lullaby or funeral song.

"He had a beautiful voice, and the melody stirred something in Sylvie's chest, but she pushed all of that to the side. (pg 222)

This actually tells us alot about Sylvie and is another instance that shows the difference between Sylvie and Loki and their lives. Sylvie has this emotional reaction to the song Loki is singing and yet she pushes those feelings to the side, we see her do this alot, whereas Loki is often driven by his emotions such as attacking New York because of how hurt he was by his Father's lies etc, Sylvie very much is the opposite and will push those emotions aside so that she can focus on her mission. This is how she survives.

The atmosphere turned lively and jolly again. Loki smiled widely.

It must be fun to be so oblivious, thought Sylvie, glancing around the room nervously. (pg 222)

I get the sense that here, Sylvie is feeling some envy towards Loki, towards the fact that he can let loose and have fun, even when in the situation they've found themselves in, because he hasn't gone through the same experience and trauma that she has. I think she is envious of the life he had, the life that she could have had but missed out on because the TVA stole it from her.

Next I'm going to talk about the Love is a Dagger scene, and yes I've said it before, I'm saying it again, the novel only makes this scene better.

"Hey!" said Loki. "Change of subject. I thought of an answer." Suddenly he was standing closer to her, staring deeply into her eyes.

She bristled. "To what?"

"Your question." Loki stared into her eyes and the silence stretched on between them. "Love," he said, "is a dagger." Just like that, a dagger appeared in his hand, magicked and beautiful, the blade straight and shining. "It's a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It's beautiful." He turned the dagger's point toward his chest. "Until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it-"

Sylvie did reach for it. The handle was beautiful. It was right there. But it disappeared before she could take it in her hand.

"-it isn't real," she said, finishing his sentence. (pgs 224-225)

Let's talk about Loki here first because I think this metaphor he uses to describe love is very telling given the new context learned of him having the realisation that he may have feelings for Sylvie and then becoming uncomfortable with the subject of love. He clearly kept thinking about it after their conversation. But really what this metaphor says about Loki's view on love is really sad. Ultimately he sees love as a weapon that can be used against him, something that can make him bleed, something that will turn out not to be real. Something beautiful sure, but something dangerous none the less. It's sad because I think he has always felt unloved by everyone but his mother. Everyone has always seen the worst in him and he has felt like love is something you have to earn especially when it came to his father's love. I really do think that learning he was adopted, that his father lied to him, that he was a tool to be used, a monster in the tales Asgardian children were told. This all really messed with his head, he wanted his father's, his brother's love and instead he got wounded. If we go back a little, for a moment, to when Sylki were talking about their parents and how they were adopted, we have this:

"What? They told you?" He couldn't believe it.

"Yeah," said Sylvie. "Did they not tell you?"

"No," said Loki, trying not to get emotional. (pg 215)

Loki is so traumatised from learning that he was adopted the way he did that even just talking about the subject makes him emotional and he struggles with the knowledge that Sylvie's parents did tell her the truth. So it makes sense that he has a warped idea of what love is. It also makes sense that because he sees love as a weapon that can be used against him, that when he realised he might be catching feelings for Sylvie he rejected it and instead reminded himself how love can wound you.

When I first watched the episode I'll admit that I got a bit annoyed at Loki for getting drunk and breaking the tempad, as I didn't really understand why he would do that and the 'I'm hedonistic' excuse didn't really fly with me. But now I can't help but wonder if the real reason why he got drunk on the train was because he was so shaken by this realisation that he had feelings for Sylvie that his tactic for avoiding those feelings was to drown himself in drink and distract himself. It was a way of coping for him.

But lets go to Sylvie because her thoughts during Loki's love dagger speech were so interesting to me. It really does seem like she becomes mesmerised by the dagger, she is thinking about how beautiful it is and she wants to reach out and grab it. It really is like she's under a spell, bewitched by this dagger. The reason why that's interesting is because the dagger in this metaphor represents love. Love really isn't something Sylvie has experienced before, I'm sure her parents loved her, but she was taken from them so long ago that she barely remembers them so likely doesn't remember their love either. Because she has never experienced love she's never been wounded by it like Loki. So where Loki sees a dangerous weapon, Sylvie sees this shining new thing and its something that in the haze of the moment she is desperate to reach for.

Unfortunately this dagger metaphor tragically comes true for the both of them come the season end at the citadel, but I'd rather not think about that so lets move on.

Since the show aired I've seen too many posts in the main tag talking about how Mobius changed Loki but arguing that Sylvie didn't change him, that she didn't have any effect on his character growth at all. I always called bull on that personal but these next few parts I'm going to talk about, I think show just how Sylvie did influence Loki's growth. The first comes right after they have been thrown off the train and the tempad is broke, Sylvie is very understandably upset.

Did Loki feel a tiny twinge of remorse? Maybe a tiny one. But he wasn't going to stop arguing. (pg 229)

It's a very small moment, but its an important one. Remorse isn't really something Loki often feels so the fact that he is feeling it now when seeing Sylvie upset is significant. And there is more. After Sylvie screams and walks off to sit by herself Loki has this thought.

"Okay," he said, under his breath, walking to her. It wasn't in his nature to feel compassion, to see the perspective of another person- especially another Loki. It wasn't in his nature to feel remorse, either. But hey, it was the end of the world. Maybe the end of the world did something to you. (pg 230)

Earlier I talked about how Loki trying to cheer Sylvie up showed that he was learning compassion and learning to empathise with another person. Here we get the next step because now he is recognising that he is feeling compassion and that he is feeling remorse, he is also now able to see things from another person's perspective, he's able to understand why Sylvie is upset with him and actually feel remorse. Of course he blames it on the end of the world but really its Sylvie that has brought these new emotions out of him.

Here's another small but important moment.

He sat down tentatively beside her, on the mound of gravelly stone. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but he could endure it. (pg 230)

Loki is someone who enjoys comfort and who is very unlikely to put himself in any kind of uncomfortable position for the sake of someone else. Yet here we see him not only putting himself in discomfort but saying he'll endure it and once again it is for Sylvie, this is again a case of Sylvie being upset and for a reason that Loki himself can't yet fathom, he wants to make her feel better, even if that means sitting on an uncomfortable rock and trying to comfort her.

And the character growth just keep on coming with this next part.

"I just... need to know if I can trust you."

Again, Loki realised he was telling the truth. Not saying something to get his way. But saying something because he truly meant it.

It was a new feeling. (pg 233)

During his time with Sylvie not only has he experienced what it is to feels compassion, empathy and remorse he is also now learning truth. He says something because he actually means it and not just to manipulate someone to get his own way. What is also interesting is the potentially first meaningful thing he's ever said is on the subject of trust. Something else that I think is a bit of a foreign subject to Loki. He is rarely trusted and I don't know how much he trusts others, I think he's more of a rely on himself kind of guy. But here he is wanting to trust and to be trusted. Again he is feeling something new and again its Sylvie that has brought it out of him.

The subject of trust comes up again when they are entering the city, trying to get to the ark.

"Do we trust each other?" asked Sylvie.

"We do, and you can," said Loki. Trust wasn't normally something Loki thought about very much. But for better or worse, he and Sylvie were a team now. They needed to trust each other to survive. (pg 237)

Again this is showing the beginnings of change, not only is he thinking about trust, what trust is and what it really means to trust someone, but he is also actually choosing to trust. Right now its because he knows that they need to trust each other to survive but it is still a huge step for them both. He is also seeing them as a team now.

Something really interesting happens after this, when they are fighting their way through the city trying to reach the ark, and that is that Loki seems to become really tuned in to where Sylvie is often mentioning the feeling of her presence and they also often seem in sync with each other, one stops so does the other etc, not only that but he takes comfort in having her there, in having her on his team.

Loki stopped. He looked around, surveying which way would be best, and Sylvie did the same. Somehow they had really become a team. Even in this chaos, this comforted Loki. (pg 238)

Loki stared at it, feeling Sylvie's presence beside him. He wondered if she was thinking the same thing he was thinking. (pg 238)

People started screaming, running, and Loki ran too, feeling Sylvie's presence as she ran beside him. (pg 239)

To his right, Sylvie was fighting off yet another guard. "Just go," she said to Loki. (pg 240)

Loki ran the same way as the man, and Sylvie followed him. (pg 240)

Loki stopped. Sylvie stopped beside him. (pg 242)

Considering how much chaos is around them it would have been really easy for them to be separated and to lose each other. But there really is alot of focus in this passage on showing them side by side, or mirroring each other, of them being aware of where the other is and staying in sync with each other, they really are shown as a team and as working together.

Ok we are nearly at the end, I promise, just a couple more things I want to talk about. So this also caught my attention and that is that it seems like the more Loki gets to know Sylvie the more in awe and impressed he is of her. Like when she tells him how her enchantment works.

Loki shook his head. He was at least a little bit in awe of her. "And you call me a magician," he said. (pg 234)

He couldn't help but be impressed with the way she fought. She was all elegance and grace, all skill and fire. If they hadn't been in the middle of an apocalypse, he might've stopped to watch. (pg 241)

I mean he seems pretty whipped if you asked me, but I do find it amusing and sweet that he's so in awe of her that even in the middle of an apocalypse he is tempted to just stop and watch her fight.

The last thing I want to talk about is Loki's reaction to the ark being destroyed.

He didn't want to look at Sylvie. He couldn't stand to see the look in her eyes. All their hope- gone.

They were going to die here.

On Lamentis-1. A doomed moon. In a strange, otherworldly city surrounded by dust and fire.

Well, Loki found himself thinking, at least we're not alone. (pg 242)

I really do think this is the culmination of all the growth we see over the episode/chapters. Not just Loki's own personal growth but the growth of the Sylki relationship. At the start Loki was someone who thought about himself, Sylvie was a tool to help get him what he wanted. Sylvie saw Loki as an obstacle to be removed. Here though when the ark is destroyed Loki's first thought is of Sylvie. Not only that but he has come to care for her so much that he can't bear to look at her and see the look of despair in her eyes, just like he didn't want to see her sad, but here I think the emotion is deeper and more intense. Loki is also now talking about 'their hope' not his hope showing that he really does now see them as one unit, as a team. But I think the most significant part is the line about how at least they aren't alone. They believe they are going to die here but Loki is still taking comfort in having Sylvie with him.

I really did enjoy reading these chapters, there were so many moments that I loved and it felt good to be excited about Sylki again, it really did remind me of why I love them. I know this was a long one so if you have made it to the end thank you for reading. As soon as I finish reading the chapters for episode 4 I will post some more thoughts but for now let me leave you with this.

Her eyes were daggers, and she growled a little, like an upset puppy. (pg 213)

No notes I just thought it was really funny that Loki compares Sylvie to an upset puppy when she's angry.

[melodycalypso]

Ni No Kuni Music Analysis : “In Loving Memory of Allie”, Joe Hisaishi

Hey y’all! So… I took a lot longer than expected break on this, but now I’m back and better than ever! Like my break before, the series is very much not on a set timeline.

Anyways, below the cut is my analysis, I hope y’all enjoy!!

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Ah yes, the song that makes everyone cry the most from the first game😭😭

I love how this piece has such a simple melody that gets passes around to various instruments.

0:00-0:10

The soft entrance of the harp in this preluding/introductory phrase is very calming. It reminds me of water droplets… maybe those coming out of us and Oliver’s eye balls😅

0:11-0:36

This melody is breath-taking!! The piano solo here is such a great contrast from all of the other pieces featured in this game’s soundtrack. And if you could excuse me for a second, I’d like to dive even deeper into this particular passage…

So pieces of music are composed in different keys that relate to which notes are written. The two main types of scales are called Major and Minor scales. Major scales have a more positively and correct sounding melody where as minor scales sound a bit “sad” and incomplete, in lack of more professional terms. This piece is composed in a minor key and for fellow curious musicians, the key is E minor. So like I mentioned, it’s a sad key!! So this further explains why the music can have this feeling crafted right into the melodic line.

I unfortunately am not the best at analyzing chords so I’m going to leave that be for now. In the future I way come back and do a deeper dive, but I’ll leave it here for now. And by all means, I’d love to see any fellow musicians take a took and try to analyze these chords!! I’d love to see what you find!

0:37-0:59

The entrance of the Glockenspiel here taking over the main theme is very cool! Maybe it is supposed to reflect Drippy’s character in some way? Curious to hear y’all’s thoughts on what you think!

Also the accompanying harp is a perfect complement to the Glockenspiel and adds more depth to the piece!

1:00-1:42

The main theme is played more confidently here and all three instruments are showcased. There’s also an introduction of some other string instruments (most likely violins and cellos). Each part is woven so beautifully into one another and none feel overbearing in any way. This section has to be my favorite part for sure!!

1:43-1:49

Theme from the harp comes back again here, very cool, very cool!!

1:50-END

This building moment right here is very interesting… I know in the cutscene it’s used in, and luckily for us it’s one of the pretty Ghibli ones, that this section happens when Drippy comes to life. Could have Hisaishi composed the piece specifically keeping this cutscene in mind, OR vice versa!?

So, this is the end of my analysis! This piece is beautifully composed and I hope you enjoyed reading and listening!!

I think for my next analysis, I’d like to jump to the second game’s music. Let me know if any of y’all have some suggestions. Anyways, goodbye for now!!🤗🤗🤗