#there are things i’ve written that i haven’t posted (yet in some cases. sometimes it just didn’t get finished)

[thecollectionsof]

do you ever think of all the fics that just weren’t ever posted

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  @griefabyss69! GriefAbyss has 97 fics posted to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 92 of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by GriefAbyss:

Quiet Nights

Still Motion

Vulture

Concrete Lovers

All Is Fine

"If you're looking for quality Steddie smut, Grief's profile is where it's at. There's such variety to the fics they write, that I feel like there's something for all tastes. If there's a very specific spicy tag you're looking for, they probably have a fic for that.Their phillia series is particularly delightful." -- anonymous

Below the cut, GriefAbyss answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I write Steddie because we were given enough in canon to build a solid foundation of these characters—but not nearly enough to be satisfied. They’re also so easy to put into different situations, and in my case that usually means bondage! I think they’re both really interesting, well acted, and for me, they both ping that feeling you get when a character has a specific trait/experience/etc that you do. Also I really enjoy doing character explorations through sex and sex adjacent themes, especially BDSM/kink. What a character is or isn’t into can say a lot! More surface level; I like it when men are hot, especially with each other. :’ )

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Is there a trope name for when two people are just messing around—wrestling or whatever—and accidentally get turned on and it becomes this push and pull thing where you know the embarrassment isn’t going to win out but the tension is still so good that you’re still like cheering from the stands when they start making out? Probably. I don’t know it though. That kind of thing is fantastic, especially if they’re rivals/enemies/etc.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Getting together, 100%. It’s the majority of what I write over all of my work no matter what type of writing it is! I also love to subvert the classic romance / sex / friendship scripts, so there’s a lot of buddyfucking and first kisses after sex (sorry to my LARP AU readers lmao). I’d say that kink discovery ties in with that well, because it’s rare for me to write a getting together story without sex, and it’s rare for me to write sex without getting kink involved.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Here are three that are my faves, and I think might become other people’s new favorites! All three are very different, but they’re so well written and give you something really good—or interesting—to chew on. dog at the door by cchapsticck is hands down my FAVORITE, in the way that it’ll gut you so beautifully. I read it during a time where it was very cathartic (life is sad, gross, and dumb sometimes, to be suuuper reductive lmao), and I’m waiting for a good time to revisit it. Take the tags seriously, this is 100% a horror story. your dog or your bullet but i'm always a/stray by andwhatyousaid is another gorgeous fic with dog in the title that will gut you, but in a much kinder way. I also read this at a time where it hit me in a very cathartic way—this is more about the survival and growth after a certain kind of horror. Leomund's Lamentable Belaborment Makes It Hard To Graduate High School by perceived_nobility is the first fic I read that really nailed Eddie’s internal voice in my opinion! If you’re a fan of depictions of Eddie with ADHD, this is absolutely for you. It has a lot of details in it that feel so real to life too.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

It’s more of a genre, but erotic horror. I’ve been trying to sink my teeth into it but it still comes out either too erotic with little horror, or too horror with little eroticism. I have the vague plot ideas, but I don’t have the balance yet! Related (or not, who knows), I haven’t written sex pollen yet, which I think is strange because I love complicated sexual tension! I do have notes written down on how I want to go about it though, so it’ll be a part of my WIP city at some point.

What is your writing process like?

Sometimes I get a flash of something that would be hot or beautiful or interesting, and open a doc and start writing before it disappears. If I’m not at home I have to make do with writing down the gist of the idea on my phone which is... fine. I think I’ve lost some good ideas to just being at work and unable to do much with them when they’re right there in my fingers instead of gathering dust lost in the back of my mind. I do have an ideas document that is miles long at this point, though! And approx 65 WIPs. So I have plenty to work with. Other times I spend months and months daydreaming about something, examining the plot/themes/etc over and over from different POVs, until it eventually just comes out of me with little input. I have a WIP that comes to mind, where I got up one day and started writing and like three days later—I ate and slept I promise—I had 50K. That was in October, and now it’s a respectable 70K+, because life got in the way of my momentum, and I had other WIPs to finish sooner. When this happens it’s like I’m possessed by writing ghosts.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Mostly just an extreme pickiness about my writing environment! I need to be alone, have a specific word processor (if anybody knows of a Linux equivalent for microsoft WordPad, win7 edition, hit me up), headphones—usually with white noise AND music playing, and sweatpants on. Some of my friends get fully dressed to write at a desk, and I wear what’s basically pajamas to write while sitting on my couch :’ )

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule? Oh my god I’ve learned my lesson with this one. For every fic I’ve written except for two of them, I fully finished writing and editing before posting them. I didn’t do that for one chaptered fic, and managed a decent update schedule, but with the second one… well, to the people who are waiting on a Vulture update, it’s coming soon! Thanks for your patience! It’s much easier for me to have a full fic to work off of, to change as I like, especially when it’s been a month since I’ve had the chance to even look at it. I think once Vulture’s done, I’m going back to strictly finishing before posting, though people have been very encouraging on it even though it’s not finished <3

Which fic are you most proud of?

I’m giving you two answers because I’m breaking the rules lmao 1. The first fic I ever finished and posted: Hell Patrol - It was kind of terrifying to share a piece of myself like that, especially in a fandom with so many people. I used to have a blog back in the day where I posted original art that got like no attention, which suited me well enough because attention seemed like a double edged sword at best—until this! So far 99.9999% of people have been nice. I’ve posted a lot, so I don’t really get nervous anymore, and I’ve gotten more comfortable writing what I want to. Mostly I get nervous about finding time to write everything I want to! 2. Silence Awakened - This was written for @steddiesmuttyseptember, and I really pushed both my ability to write under a tight deadline and my ability to turn something I thought was a very rough first draft into something I ended up liking a lot. I also had the idea for the gag sitting for a while, and was really happy to finally have a use for it! I’m not sure that I feel strongly proud of any of them over others, I think I’m just proud that I’ve finished things after a lifetime of struggling to finish any creative projects I started, and proud that my writing is—hopefully—getting better!

How did you get the idea for Quiet Nights?

This was another @steddiesmuttyseptember story! There were prompts: Soft and Slow, Backseat, Clothes On. Those really helped me get started, and I find it fun to write about public sex and also the idea of getting stuck on the side of the road with your hot best friend, so this was fairly easy to write. It was definitely one of those “I daydreamed about this for months and it fell out of me” fics. I also really like Steve’s car and need to write more about it :’ )

When writing Still Motion, what was something you didn’t expect?

This is the first fic I wrote where I felt like I was finally getting a handle on Steve’s voice, which was a nice surprise! I also had such a strong idea for the premise, but not for the ending, so figuring out how to carry that through but still having a satisfying end to the story was harder than I expected. I’m really glad I figured it out, though.

What inspired Vulture?

For anyone who’s read Vulture, this might sound weird, but trauma. It’s absolutely not 1:1 in the fic (and the story isn’t even really about trauma at all, despite the traumatized characters), but sometimes you gotta write about something through 100 filters and let that writing be a comfortable place to live in. Maybe some of the adjacent themes crept in, but it’s not really a puzzle or a mystery to solve—ultimately the story changed so much after the first few chapters that it isn’t really about that anymore. This is one of those WIPs that I come back to when I need some place where I can solve the problems that come up and it doesn’t even take anything away from me to do it. Also I wanted to explore a way more fun part of life, which is hearing an album so good you would eat it if it was possible, and then add in the sexual tension between Steve and Eddie, plus the vulnerable tension of their feelings.

What was your favorite part to write from Vulture?

I have a lot of favorite parts from this! It’s a pleasure to write, when I have the time to actually sit down and get to it. (Though I did write myself into a corner and had trouble fixing that, which halted progress on it, but I should be able to update it this month unless my life Gets In The Way <3) A few favorites are: 1. When Steve found out Eddie gave nobody else a copy of the tape. 2. The scene where Eddie’s sitting behind the counter at Family Video with Steve, severely sleep deprived, and the follow up scene where Eddie visits Steve at Family Video and brings him something. 3. The callback to the play wrestling scene in Chapter 1 in Chapter 8. That was a long time coming! Especially since I wrote Chapter 8 after a long break from working on this.

How do/did you feel writing Concrete Lovers?

This was a WIP I started almost a full year ago, because so many people were so nice about Acceptance and Negation, which is the first forniphilia/human furniture story I wrote. I wasn’t going to write more of A&N, so I started this one because not only did I want to revisit this kink very badly, but many people have said A&N opened them up to it. So this was written for the human furniture enjoyers, old and new! Including me. I felt great writing it, even though it sat at a dead end for months and months in my WIP folder. The fic I was writing for Dom Eddie week had turned into oh no they’re both switches, and so I decided this was a great chance to work on Concrete Lovers. I love this style of domming, especially from Eddie, who’s always so dramatic that writing him being so casual and playful about domming someone—even if he doesn’t know that’s what he’s doing—is really, really fun. And Steve, man. In A&N I was able to articulate something so fundamental to what I enjoy about enemies to lovers, and the beginnings of getting into a kink you had no idea you had, but I needed to get back inside of his head and go onto the next step. How does he feel when he trusts Eddie so much that he’ll just shrug and go with the flow, until he’s so at peace and horny that he realizes he’s breaking social rules—and Eddie is letting him? How will he feel afterwards as he struggles to get back to normal? They’re both not knowledgeable about BDSM in this fic on purpose, and so navigating the aftercare was a good exercise in not being too “by the book” about it. So all of that to say I had a lot of fun, especially once I got back into it. Even the idea of it—Steve standing there holding up the incense sticks—is so beautiful in my head, it’s very gorgeous and quiet. I’ve never seen incense holder done in any of my research—or “research”—for this kink, so it was satisfying to take it from my head and make it into something concrete. I’m very happy with this one!

What was the most difficult part of writing All Is Fine?

God. Finishing it. This one was so fun to write—right up until it was the most difficult thing to get through, and not for any particular reason! I’m glad I did it though. I think if I had been more committed to fleshing out the first parts before the sex, the rest of it would’ve been more satisfying to write to be honest.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

The scene in Transcending Dualities where Eddie and Steve both dump their tapes out onto the floor to share music is one I love. I think Steve is a “I listen to everything including Rap and Country” kind of guy, so he had a few of the same tapes as Eddie, and the way Eddie figured that out was really funny :’ ) And the scene in Waves where Steve forces Eddie to keep his mouth open by holding his teeth apart with his fingers. It’s just hot, strange, and vulnerable! It’s one of those ideas that hit me in a flash that I had to write immediately.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Like I said earlier, I hope to update Vulture this month! Other than that, I should have a steddiemicrofic this month, and I’m working on a sequel to Lingual Frenemies for Sub Eddie week in April. And a few other things that I might get done on time for the deadlines for corrodedcoffinfest’s May Mayhem and some steddiesportsau prompts! Also random WIPs I’m tapping away at that might get finished this month. No promises on an update to LARP AU before April but it’s been a while and I did some work on the next installment today. I have a lot of ambitions and very little writing time these days :' )

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Thank you to everyone who runs this blog, it’s made my To Be Read list a million miles longer, and I’ve found some fics here that I really loved! Thank you to whoever nominated me, this made my week! It was such a pleasant surprise <3 Also, thank you to anyone who’s given me any encouragement, or feedback. It’s easy to feel like an outsider in a fandom (especially after not participating in one for many years), but I’ve met a lot of friendly people here <3  Lastly; get weirder with it!!!

Thank you to our author, @griefabyss69, and our nominator! See more of GriefAbyss's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[who-is-page]

Consider Community Writings

Author: Page Type: Essay Words: 920 Summary: Page talks about the importance of personal writings, but acknowledges that they may not be for everyone (including himself). A discussion on the oft-overlooked relevancy of community writings and why you, the person reading this summary, should try to make some.

[Part of the Sol System’s Alterhuman Writing Project for 2024. If you don’t want to see these posts, block the tag #inkedclaws]

There are thousands upon thousands of intricate, detailed writings about individuals’ personal alterhuman experiences and identities. These intimate pieces are a foundational part of our community: in recording its history, in leaving tracks and marks of the ways we’ve changed it (and in turn been changed by it), and in inspiring others to do the same. I can’t emphasize enough how important these types of works are to the very essence of alterhuman subculture and its continuation. As an archivist, I always strive to encourage people to talk about their unique experiences for these reasons. After all, if you don’t write about your experiences, no one will.

But, as an artist myself, only a small fraction of my works talk about my own personal alterhumanity— on my website, only 11 of the 33 pieces that I’ve written go into detail on specifically my alterhumanity (these numbers are excluding essays posted elsewhere that haven’t been posted on the website yet, but let’s assume that the 1 out of every 3 ratio holds). For such a big proponent of folks writing about themselves, at first glance it would appear that I’m not practicing what I preach! Most of what I write isn’t about me!

But that’s the thing: for all that I encourage and want to see people writing about themselves, I also want everyone to recognize that the community is not owed sensitive or intimate information about you if you’re genuinely uncomfortable with sharing it. You don’t have to expose your sensitive underbelly for acceptance. You can write about yourself as much or as little as you want, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. There is the caveat that you won’t be able to experience the euphoria of being understood by others unless you submit to that mortifying ordeal of being known, but how much of yourself you want to put out there is always your choice to make. And for all that we rightfully celebrate personal writings within the community, there are other extremely important types of written work that I don’t often see talked about in this regard enough: perspectives on community phenomena, history, terminology, and similar.

One-off works that discuss the community and aspects of it are invaluable time capsules. They let us glimpse into the ways the community has changed or stayed the same and they show us what people found important, when, and what aspects of it. They show the rhetoric and discourse that was actively being used, and which may not still be in use five or ten years down the line (or may be used in radically different ways). And years in the future they sometimes provide sources and links that would have otherwise disappeared to the sands of time, or otherwise by themselves go on to be used in dozens of other projects and works. While they’re something that can’t necessarily be written by someone who’s only just found the community for the very first time and doesn’t understand it well, that factor also makes them that much more vital for not only historical preservation, but also for folks who are still learning and exploring about it. It gives them information into the community side of alterhumanity, a glimpse into the things that are interwoven collectively between us all and why and how we see ourselves as a community.

It used to be that it was much more common for individual otherkin to have their own F.A.Qs and personal glossaries on their blogs, but nowadays it isn’t something you see often, if at all. And I wish it weren’t the case! I want there to be more F.A.Qs, more personal glossaries, more introductory resources, more discourse essays, more guides, more satire pieces, and more timelines. I love the ways we celebrate ourselves individually, but I also don’t want people to feel like they have to restrict their non-fiction writing to only ever being strictly about themselves. The commentary that people have on the community around them and their place in it is important and relevant— even if it’s the same subject by different people! It’s all useful, it allows us to preserve more of our community history, and at the end of the day, it’s also just downright fun.

I’ve made so many things that boil down to: please write. And this essay might be wearing a different shirt than some of my others, but its message still stays the same. If you’re shy, or anxious, or just don’t want to talk about yourself in detail, that’s fair and understandable. I don’t want people to feel pressured into putting information out there about themselves that they’re uncomfortable with, though I do want to empower everyone to say “fuck you!” to respectability politics and flaunt their unique perspectives and experiences. But if that is something that’s just never going to gel with you (or even if personal writings are something you enjoy writing), I want you to consider every time you’ve had a strong opinion about something in the community, or every time there was a community event or group or time period you found especially fascinating or emotional to experience, or every time you’ve seen someone ask a question that you’ve seen a thousand times before and felt compelled to answer. And I want you to give writing about it a shot. Because if not you, who? And if not now, when? You might end up finding these types of things more fun or satisfying to write than you could’ve ever imagined.

[jeanystillbeany]

BillFord Fic

I haven’t gotten invited to ao3 yet so I’ll just post it here anyway. It doesn’t have a name so I’ll just post a teaser or whatever. Idfk. It’s a billford fic ig. As soon as I get ao3 I’ll post it on there. I do have more written. I’m just taking the first part for a test drive. Let me know ur thoughts! (Literally anything- name suggestions scene suggestions, if i should post it on ao3, explanations etc.)

Entry 167: Series 6

  Out of all the curiosities I’ve studied in my travels, this has to be one of the most shocking enigmas yet.  This timeline had the bottom story of the shack left with two gaping holes at the top.  In fact, it’s as though the shack grew legs and walked away.  Which is completely bizarre- even for a weirdness magnet such as Gravity Falls, Oregon.  The countless timelines I’ve visited so far were nowhere near this level of insanity.  This level of… intrigument.  The state of the timeline has this enrapturing effect on me.  

  Recently the timelines I’ve been traveling through have had a different variable.  Two in fact.  As it turns out, me and my brother have a great-grandniece and nephew.  Dipper and Mabel.  While I’ve been careful to not interact with any timelines I’ve found myself caught up in (especially after that incident with the Time Police), I still somehow find myself growing attached to the two.  For the past few months I’ve been observing them through the different timelines I’ve traveled to.  There has also been the reoccurring pattern of their other ‘Gruncle’ re-emerging from the same portal I find myself appearing from every few days.  I’ve been waiting… counting down the days til it’s my turn.  And yet, I still don’t understand why I continue to keep that false hope in my pocket.  The multiverse is infinite.  The chances of me ever finding my home universe is nearly pointless.  While I could always take the place of another Stanford… The Time Police would be on my case in a second.  I also understand that the multiverse I was sent to wasn’t the same one as the other Stanfords.  While I’m dealing with infinites of my brother, they were dealing with beasts beyond basic human comprehension… and yet I’d much rather that than to be cursed knowing I’d never get home.  To see Dipper and Mabel fail… over and over… with myself unable to assist… sometimes I thought it was driving me mad.  

  I’ve certainly spent more time reciting the last few entries than I should’ve.  So I shall continue with the present.  The shambles of my lab have made for an adequate shelter.  (Save for the 2 overgrown hairless mole rats I’ve needed to fight off for my rations).  The sky appears to be a blood red, many of the familiar surrounding trees were reduced to brambles, probably by some larger species I’d like to take the time to investigate at a later hour.  This area has been intensely modified compared to the other Gravity Falls I’ve been in.  I have a hunch this is due to the large vortex that ripped through the dimension.  (That was in fact sarcasm my dear reader).  So far I’ve studied and dissected one of those overgrown Eye-Bats that can turn a person to stone just by looking at them.  From memory; I will promise they were much smaller and could not turn one to stone in my own timeline.  Why would anyone feel the need to weirdify these anomalies?  Some sort of apocalypse has settled over this world.  Whether or not it was always like this is unknown.  I’m leaning towards the latter though.  I shortly ran out of things to do after examining my last two specimens and I itched for more information on these preternatural creatures. 

Ford sat in what was left of his desk chair and kicked his feet up.  He would kill for a mug of coffee right now.  

Ford ran a hand through his hair.  Since the portal incident, he’s grown it out. He’s grateful he didn’t cut it when he could.  It more than likely would’ve exaggerated the up and coming gray hair.  Though… he shouldn’t exactly care how he looks because he’s not supposed to be seen in other timelines according to the Time Police.  In the end, he still does get a fond satisfaction of knowing he’s at least well kept.  And mistakes happen.  He continues to have the same clothing pattern of turtle necks- though he only ever wears them underneath his long coat.  It proved to be very useful when traveling timelines.  The amount of pockets he had to keep so many samples in almost seemed like cheating.  He also always had his bag with him.  Most of his pockets aren’t big enough for his journal, and he’s filled up a couple while he was traveling timelines.  His love of pockets also extended to his lower half making sure to have maximum pockets on his cargo pants.  He even bothered with a hidden one in his shoe for an emergency lock pick.  If that wasn’t enough, his obsession with Sci-Fi led to him wanting to live it to its full extent, so naturally he put knives in both heels of his boots as well.  

  Normally he’d care that there were some contaminated combat boots being rubbed all over his desk.  But now?  He thought he might as well embrace the end of the world.  He loved his family to death, but if any of them saw him in a timeline other than his origin the whole universe would collapse in on itself, and they would be the ones dead.  Ford could always scramble back to his portal and go to the next timeline.  According to the Time Police that is.   Though there have been many instances where he has intervened in his earlier days with no consequence.  

  The man mindlessly fiddled with his gun on the inside pocket of his coat.  He wanted to study more.  Maybe the giant gash in the sky was the root of his greatest mystery!  He unhooked his heels from the edge of his desk and swung them around towards the bunker hatch.  He pushed himself off from the armrests of the chair.  Stanford climbed up the ladder and popped his head out of the bunker.  He supposed the first step would be to find a lookout point.  If he was lucky he might be able to stay in one place long enough to do a quick sketch of this timeline’s situation.  The first place Stanford’s mind drifted was his abandoned UFO- though it was identified and no longer flying, so he dubbed it the alien spacecraftt.  It gave a perfect view of the entire town and was rather close to his current position.  Ford gave a once over of everything in his satchel.  He plucked out his journal in order to sift through the small bit of food, water and any other trinkets he had before neatly replacing it and went on his way.  

  As Ford traveled he kept a hand on his gun.  Aside from the terrors the scientist was getting antsy to encounter, he was the only other sound he heard.  His boots trudged along the ground -making distinct squishing sounds- as though he were walking in his own wet socks.  The ground beneath him was unnaturally wet causing the uncomfortable feeling.  There was the occasional shuffle as he adjusted his jacket to the odd temperatures.  Ford made a mental note to journal about the seemingly miniature air masses that drastically changed the temperatures in as little as every few feet he walked.  The long coat was currently adjusted to be draped over his shoulders, as Ford found this to be a happy medium and made a constant grip on his gun easier.  

  A rumble struck the ground just as Ford’s own foot hit the earth.  The man felt a jitter course through him, crawling up his spine.  

  “Another weirdness wave!”  The man exclaimed with much more enthusiasm than anyone else trapped in this hell bubble ever would.  He licked the first two of his fingers and raised them up in the air, turning them at different angles until he found the direction that gave his moistened fingers the most chill.  After finding the wind direction he quickly hid behind a tree and scrambled through his bag.  His six-fingered hand reemerged with a sort of hand made device.  It was made from old lab parts created during his first few days in this timeline.  It allowed him to calculate the intensity of the weirdness wave and further study its properties.  He carefully placed the machine away from the cover of the tree and braced himself for things to get weird.  

  The wave passed over Stanford relatively easily and he observed no mutations to himself.  Stanford went to pick up his wave reader when- 

  “Oh.  How peculiar… Shit.”  The man’s handmade invention had grown to compete with the surrounding forest’s pine trees.  For a moment the Author thought that he would be unable to run.  For a moment the Author believed he was frozen in time.  For a moment he saw himself as a child.  For a moment he saw his brother.  For a moment he saw the twins.  

  Stanford found the right gears that made the joints in his legs move.  This was no longer his invention.  It had grown six legs of its own.  The calculator screen that was once used as a makeshift reader display was its mouth and the antenna was its tongue.  Ford was tempted to take a picture, though he doubted such would be worth his life.  He raced through the forest.  It was almost as if its size grew due to this oddity apocalypse.  The scientist didn’t have a chance.  Every time he heaved himself over a log, the creature could bash itself right through it after him.  He needed to think of something… he’d kill to meet his niece and nephew.  

  The Author took out his loaded gun as he ran through the brambles.  He took a sharp turn, causing the monster to slide in an effort to regain its balance.  Ford began to aim as the creature was tipped onto its side.  It landed with a loud thump, causing multiple mutated birds to fly away startled.  Stanford lowered his gun and stood stunned in front of his creation, as its legs flailed about, damaging the surrounding shrubbery.  

  “Intriguing!”  Ford quickly snapped a picture.  As much as he’d like to inspect the helpless thing more, he deemed it safer to continue with his original task.  He would’ve stayed longer if one of the monster’s legs didn’t reach out and claw at his coat, tearing it down its side.  A bit closer and the scientist would’ve been seriously injured.   He jumped back and continued with his task of sketching this new timeline.  He also made a mental note to log his encounter in the journal when he was in the clear.  

~

  He finally made it to the spacecraft.  Ford would definitely consider using this as a hideout in this world.  Contrary to Ford’s belief, the state of this timeline was only in Gravity Falls.  He remembers studying the Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism as a younger man, but he never believed it could affect anything to this extent.  Ford sat down atop the spacecraft.  He snapped a picture of the surrounding scene.  

Entry 167 B. Series 6

  There seemed to be a large barrier encasing Gravity Falls.  More than likely the Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism.  I’ve studied the topic before and have come up with a simple equation to break it.  The scene before me is both exhilarating and dread ensuing.  To even think about the situations my brother and the kids have gone through haunts me.  I want nothing more than to be able to talk with them.  Even if it’s not my universe.  I want to hear their stories and watch them grow up… I wish for my own universe.  I’ve traveled the timelines for much too long.  I’ve watched them.  But I want to see them.  To meet my Mabel, my Dipper, my Stanley.  I want to meet my family.  But where would I even start?  The time police?

  I looked off to the sunless horizon and noticed a large pink orb sitting dead center of the train tracks with Mabel’s zodiac on it.  My breathing sputtered.  Just what were these kids into this timeline?  I decided it’d be best to head back to the lab.  I’d like to be there when the portal reopens.  

   Maybe… maybe I can try one more time.  My sentence is already high enough as it is with the Time Police… I want to help my niece and nephew… no matter what universe they’re in.  There has to be a reason the Time Police aren’t on my tail by now… especially after that monster was created.  I’ll spend the night at the lab again and work on relocating to the spacecraft tomorrow.  Then I’ll find my brother.  

  Ford replaced his bookmark into his journal and brushed himself off.  He stood up on the roof of the dead spaceship and gave one last glance at the world he found himself in before beginning the few hour trek to where the Mystery Shack once stood.  Stanford was nearly to his hideout. About where he left the wave reading monster.  There was one problem that had unnerved the Author for more than one reason.  A question that bubbled out of his mouth as soon as he seen the large clearing in the trees where the monster had been discarded.  

  “Where is it?” His question was shortly answered as a screech was heard not too far behind him.  

  “Fuck!  Are you Serious?!”  The scientist grumbled and quickened his pace.  It was following him.  Either it had extremely sensitive hearing or it was tracking him by scent.  Whatever the case was, his hands itched to jot it down in his journal.  He didn’t have much time for that as he found himself being chased by the beast once again.  Ford continued to race to the lab and attempted to slide into the underground space.  The mechanical creature’s claw lurched out and nicked his back, sending him flying forward and creating another large hole in the roof.  He landed ungraciously on the floor of his lab with a groan.  As a last resort Ford turned over on his back and began shooting wildly through the crack.  The mechanical anomaly screeched as it was shot at, retreating immediately.  Ford felt the back of his coat begin to soak and his vision blur.  The tips of his finger began to numb as his arm fell to the ground. 

   With one last screech, a fourth hole was punctured into the top of the lab, right over the portal, leaving Ford’s escape in shambles.  He would’ve screamed, or yelped with his hand held out dramatically as any Author such as himself would, but that was the last sight seen before he passed out completely.  

~

  “Do you think it’s dead?”  

  “I say we eat it”

  “Dudes.  Is it just me?  Or does it kinda look like Mr. Pines.” 

  “Soos.  It has SIX FINGERS!  SIX!  It had to be some sort of clone… or- or… imposter.”  Pages began to flip in the background of the following commotion.  Quiet muttering was also heard following each turn of paper- though it was mostly blocked out by the pounding in Ford’s head.  

  “Mr. Pines… do you… know anything about this?”  Ford was becoming conscious enough to pick out voices.  This seemed to be the only female among the group.  

  “Stanford…?” This was a new voice.  Much older than the others.  It wavered as it said his name- effectively snapping him out of the painful slumber he was in.  

  Ford started with a groan and his eyes squinted shut, adjusting to the abnormal light- even for the living world.  In this universe that is.  

  “Dudes.  It’s waking up.”  Ford mumbled and rubbed his head.  Thankfully the wound on his back didn’t go that deep into his back.  Though the semi-dried blood latching the fabric of his coat to himself was very uncomfortable.  

  “Sixer!”  Stanford opened his eyes just in time to see the back of a tacky red hat by the side of his head.  Arms enveloped his shoulders partially helping Ford keep himself up.  

  “Stanley…”  The scientist just barely breathed out.  

  “STANLEY?!”  Ford couldn’t be bothered to look up from his brother’s shoulder at the other’s exclaimation

  “Is anyone else confused right now?  Cause I’m confused.” Soos commented.  Stanley sighed before releasing his disoriented brother.  

  “Kids, Soos, I want you to meet… the author of the journals.”  Stan was hesitant to let go of his brother, as though if he let go of his brother’s shoulder he’d disappear back into the fabrics of existence.  Dipper did an excited squeal and almost ran up to properly greet his practical obsession, but Wendy put a calm hand on his shoulder to stop him from ruining the two brothers' moment.  She decided she needed more context with her boss’ secret twin before Dipper butted in.  

  “Stanley.  I need- I need to tell you something.”  Stanford’s voice wavered with guilt.  As multiple scenarios ran through his head.  More than likely this wasn’t his universe.  He doesn’t know what happened to his own timeline, or this one… though it’s not like he can continue traveling timelines with the portal busted.  Ford opened his mouth to speak- but no sound came out as a thought surfaced to his head.  

  ‘…what if this is my timeline?  What if the portal busted for a reason?  Maybe… I can stay a while.  They need my help…’

  ���Yeah?”  Stanley asked- a small smile almost suppressed on his face.  

  “…I missed you.” Ford sighed out.  He pulled Stan back into him.  The other man slapped his back playfully with a goofy grin.  Ford winced and let out a small yelp.  

  “Oh… forgot about that.  Welp.  I smiled too little in the past 3 weeks to smile this much now.  Let’s get back to the shack.”  As if on queue, an ominous roar shook the ground under them. 

  “Agreed.” Wendy said.  

  “Yup, yup, yup, let’s go!”  Soos hauled Dipper over his shoulder and sprinted out of the Lab and everyone else followed.  Ford found himself lingering for a moment- his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the remains of his portal.  It’s gone.  It’s all gone.  

  “Hey, bro.  Let’s get out of here, ‘k?”  Stanley put his hand on Ford’s shoulder, offering a hopefully comforting smile.  

  “We have a lot to talk about Stanley…” Similar to any other earth tremble, the earth shook following the signs of a beast approaching.  

  “Yeah, yeah.  Can we do that later?”  Stanley tugged his brother along by the back of his coat leading him out of the lab.  Stanford followed behind- occasionally wincing from the pulling on his jacket.  

[sapphicseasapphire]

Hi! I hope you don't mind me asking a question about your CAC AU no longer being LU. Will you be changing anything about the characters that have been compressed? Ex: Four being both Minish Cap, Four Swords, and Four Swords Adventures Link. I'd also like to know if anything else significant is changing with the story, but that's a pretty broad ask 😅

Actually, second question that's only sorta related and that you may have answered in the past but I don't remember (sorry if that's the case ;-;) is the FSA manga canon? Specifically Shadow Link being like, an actual character.

Looking forward to seeing more of our favorite cryptids, esp now that you have more creative freedom <3

Thank you for asking! I think I’m gonna keep the Links that I have, simply because I have so much already written for them and unmerging them would wreak havoc on my storylines. I JUST figured out Four, I don’t want to change them haha!

As far as story changes, I don’t think there’s much I can tell you because I haven’t really said a lot about what the actual story is. I have my little comics, but they’re honestly just little oneshots to explore the characters’ interactions. Salt and Sea, for example, my comic focused on Wind and Legend, isn’t necessarily canon and doesn’t take place within any specific plot. My Sky and Time comic is more plot-relevant but… Okay so I got a little impatient with that one. The Sky and Time comic is the God Reveal comic, and the God Reveal should take place in a story line that I’ve been calling “Grounded.” But this version happens outside of Grounded, for the sake of not spoiling it. But like… the interaction will be mostly the same. It’s hard to explain.

Some of the big arcs that I have planned are: I am Sky (which functions as a prologue to the Cryptid au), Grounded (which is my largest storyline BY FAR, containing the God Reveal, Ravio, Four Splits Reveal, and MUCH MORE), one that just the title of is a spoiler, but it contains the curse reveal (among other things. Shadow. Legend of the Godkiller. Exciting stuff, I think). Some more miscellaneous ideas that I have yet to give names to, nor organize. And then the au actually has an epilogue that’s centered around Time, which… has made me cry when I planned it. But. You know. Spoilers.

I don’t think I can properly express just how BIG this story is. I feel overwhelmed by it, sometimes. I can’t quite put it into words yet, but there will be fics at some point. More comics. And more lore dumps!

I actually have answered a question about the FSA manga and Shadow, but that was a long time ago and I don’t expect you to read through my millions of posts. But yes! Shadow is a real character in the Cryptid au! I’ve been pretty tight lipped about it since it’s kind of… later on in the story. I’m trying SO HARD not to spoil anything haha!

[strangermoons]

I keep seeing these ask memes for writers going around, and while I haven’t been tagged (on account of having few fandom friends and no appreciable social skills) I like reading these kinds of posts when other writers do them. So on the off chance someone might want to know: My writing process. Warning: Long.

Coming up with ideas

By far the easiest part, for me. I get them constantly at the slightest provocation when I’m enthusiastic about a pairing/fandom. They’re usually just one moment or scene, and can be sparked by pretty much anything — The Beat Has Just Begun came about when I had a weird dream that involved a mirror, and thinking about it the day after I was like “what if Steve gets home after everything and looks in the mirror, and Eddie is looking back at him?”

Then I write the basic shape of it down, talking myself through what I’m picturing. In the case of TBHJB it was a lot of worldbuilding questions: Is Eddie in every mirror, or a particular one? If he’s only in one, what’s keeping him from the other ones? Can everyone see him, or just Steve? How does sound work across the mirror? What about objects? And so on and so forth. It’s rarely even close to a full outline, and the stuff I type up doesn’t necessarily bear a strong resemblance to the eventual fic, but it’s a way to document what it was that grabbed me.

A crucial component of this is sharing the idea. Nearly all my fic docs have a section at the end that’s just a series of DMs I sent my two beleaguered fandom friends explaining my passions. If I’m lucky they bounce the idea back to me and spark something further.

Actually writing the thing

Here’s where I try to write the scene(s) I’ve come up with. At this stage I generally don’t know the shape the story wants to take yet, or if it even has one. I pick a POV, I picture the scene, and I start writing and see how it goes. If the idea involves several (fragments of) scenes, I’ll write all of them down because otherwise I’m sure to forget. And in between fragments I’ll put double brackets (()) to make it easy to Ctrl+F for lacunae later. If there’s something I’m not sure about, an incomplete thought, or something that requires research, that also goes in double brackets.

I then spend an inordinate amount of time just thinking about the idea and rotating it in my mind. How’d the characters get here? What happens next? How to get from scene fragment A to scene fragment B?

Sometimes, this is where it falters, usually because I'm not sure how the rest of the story would go. I have a doc titled Various Ideas where a lot of these fragments live, ready to be picked up and continued (or combined) when inspiration strikes.

If I do see a way forward, it’s time for the next step:

Obsessive polishing

But wait, you might say. You’ve barely written anything! What is there to polish? Cart before the horse, surely?

And, like, fair enough, but this is what works for me. I write until I run out of gas; I reread what I’ve written and my notes for what comes next, add a sentence, delete a sentence, swap out a word and then change it back; I reread it again and try to imagine the characters saying their lines, sometimes after watching clips of them to refresh my memory of their particular cadence, or consulting my extensive notes. Sometimes I’ll read everything out loud to see if I like the way it flows. This is also when I do research, documenting my findings via either comments or a separate research notes section at the end of the doc. 

I switch between writing and polishing throughout the entire fic-writing process, though I’ll gradually stop tweaking earlier sections as I go along. Sometimes a section or a paragraph won’t feel right no matter what I do, and then I flag it with a comment and put it down until I can come back to it with fresh eyes some days or weeks or months later, having hopefully written more of the story in the meantime which will then give me a better idea of what’s not working. This is also part of the reason why I never post WIPs on AO3 — I have to be able to go back to earlier sections and make changes if the situation calls for it.

At this stage, even when I’m not writing I’m usually thinking about writing. I’ll think about conversations and scenes that aren’t working, or how to bridge the gap between two scenes, or what a scene looks like from Character B’s perspective, or what Character C is doing while offscreen. And I also think about:

Research

If I do no research for a fic assume I’m dead. I’m very resistant to making shit up, and if I make shit up I need parameters. How much was an ice cream cone, or a hot dog, or a gallon of gas? Did that franchise exist in mid-80’s Indiana? When did cars start coming with a key fob? Was this flavor of Jello on the market when the story takes place? Did that cologne exist yet? If a character goes to prison, which one, and how far is it from where I’ve decided Hawkins is, and what was it called at the time?

I look these things up in a variety of ways. I may start with a simple web search or check Wikipedia, and I also use Archive.org a lot — they have a ton of books and magazines on all kinds of subjects, and a fairly flexible search function. I go to 80’s nostalgia Reddits and save reference photos and read discussions where people talk about their experiences at a specific defunct nightclub, or what the LA smog was like at the time, or their memories of a specific event. I watch 80’s movies and take screenshots and notes on vocabulary and anything else that seems like it might one day be relevant to a story. I check Youtube for old ads and home video clips. I may even ask older relatives about things that are tricky to look up.

I try to keep notes on all of this to refer back to later, and I also keep a spreadsheet of minor OCs who’ve appeared or been mentioned in any of my stories, and I have a separate timeline spreadsheet for my most complex stories like TBHJB. That last one even has a tab with a partial shift schedule for Family Video. I know, I know. I think of all of this as scaffolding for my stories, and I feel better for having done the work even if the thing I look up on a given day ends up getting cut. 

Finishing touches

If everything goes well, sooner or later (usually much, much later) I end up with a finished draft. At this point I generally collapse in my chair and stare blankly at the ceiling, and then tab over to my fandom friends’ DMs to be like “I think I finished it!!!”

Then I let it sit. This can be hard, but it’s important. A couple of days at least, ideally a bit more. Then I read it again, and maybe make some tweaks.

Then, if I’m lucky and my friends have time, I get it betaed. Usually this is where they point out some glaring weakness that I can’t believe I didn’t notice before. I fix whatever needs fixing, and then my story is finally ready to post.

… And then I move on to the next one. I’m usually juggling at least two active WIPs at a time, picking one up when the other isn’t speaking to me, and so on and so forth. If I stall out in a bad way I may jump ship to a third or even fourth WIP, and hopefully come back to the first one later. 

[goosewriting]

Dating Pyre

for some reason the ask disappeared from my inbox ;;-;; but luckily i had written it down. this was requested by anon (as a reply to this post):

In that case, I'd love general relationship headcanons with pyre? Just reader being all mushy mushy with him omg If this doesn't spark any inspiration though, feel free to ignore :))

summary: general relationship headcanons with Pyre

relationship: Commander Pyre x gn!reader

warnings: none

word count: 1.1k

A/N: im so sorry this took forever! i’ve been thinking about this ask every single day. i hoped that doing some good ol’ bullet list headcanons could get me back into writing, and i think it worked :D thank you sm for the request and the patience dear anon! hope you like it<3

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

Pyre likes to be in control.

He’s protective without being smothering.

He does have a reputation to uphold to after all, being a commander and everything

so PDA is off the table.

Any flirty comments and intimate moments are reserved for behind closed doors.

If you’re a civilian, he just straight up hires you so you can go with him wherever he’s deployed. You end up being his assistant, secretary or get a job at the hangar if you’re anything adjacent to engineering.

If you’re enlisted as a stormtrooper, he makes sure you’re always in his assigned squadron.

He definitely uses his position to make things easier for you if anything happens.

You’re not feeling well? He’s literally your boss, and you also share a bed, so he brings you tea and lets you sleep in.

Someone treats you unjustly? They’re getting a scolding from the commander before their shift ends.

You complain about it being a little cold in your office because the heater broke down and they haven’t sent anyone to fix it yet? It’s not only fixed by the next rotation, you also get an apology letter from the maintenance department. 

All these gestures to accommodate you don’t come without consequences, though; he might have received a warning or two from his superiors after pulling something which was evidently in your favour.

You keep telling him to treat you like all other employees, but he just can’t help it. He wants you to be safe and comfortable.

Which really stems from a deep fear of you leaving him.

Pyre isn’t necessarily emotionally constipated or unavailable, but he has trouble processing Big Feelings sometimes, especially when you’re nearby.

He’s scared he’ll lash out at you and take out his anger on you when a mission went badly, or when he’s having a bad day, and that you’ll be scared of him or even disgusted by him.

So before he gets to his quarters in the evening, he’ll try to let off all the pent-up steam; be it more proactively through physical exercises, or sometimes by lashing out at the poor stormtrooper that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He also may or may not have put a few mouse droids out of commission.

Since he does all this when you’re not around, it takes you some time to not only come to know of his actions, but even more to figure out what’s happening.

Once you sit him down to assure him that he’s allowed to have bad days and be frustrated and angry, and that you’re not going to think less of him because of it, he learns to deal with it better.

If it isn’t regarding any confidential missions, he might actually seek out your advice on how to deal with things, and you’re more than happy to help.

Once the doors are closed and the helmet comes off, though, it’s like he’s a different man.

When you sleep, he clings onto you.

He loves to wind down by sitting down on the floor between your legs with his back to you as you sit on the couch, his head resting on one of your thighs as you run your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. You tell him about your day while you do this. He sits there with his eyes closed and letting out the occasional grunt or sigh, but be assured he’s listening intently, mentally making notes here and there to ask you about later on.

Pyre is very thorough with the upkeep of his golden armour and equipment, and you’re the only one allowed to clean his helmet and blaster in the rare occasion he’s unable to do it himself.

As for pet names, if you’re into that, I think he’d call you sweetheart or darling. You mostly stick to his first name since you’re one of the very few who even knows it, but you like to call him Commander Tin Can when you tease him.

He’s also very attentive to your physical needs, and quickly picked up on your cues for hunger, sleep, etc. Sometimes it seems like he knows what you want even before you realise yourself.

As for himself, it took a while for you to learn how to read him. When in commander mode, he’s quite stoic and distant. But the moment it’s just the two of you, he relaxes. It’s subtle, but you learned to read his body language, and now you also notice when he comes home stiff or upset.

Once you both learn how to communicate properly, your arguments drop to basically zero.

Every now and then though, just to get a reaction out of him, you’ll place a kiss on the visor of his helmet after he’s done cleaning and polishing it; a little surprise for him to find the next morning. It’s always fun to see his conflict as he feels bad for wiping it away, but he’s also a bit rattled at the sight of his helmet not being spotless like he left it. He’d always walk up to you and tell you that “if you wanted to kiss him so badly, then you should do it properly instead”, right before pinning you to the wall and taking his sweet time with you.

All in all, Pyre is a pretty solid partner, always looking out for you. Of course, you try your best to return the favour, which mostly comes in the shape of words of reassurance and soft caresses.

One sure way to disarm him completely when you’re both in bed and he can’t sleep, is by placing kiss after kiss all over his face. The way he sighs and melts into your touch is intoxicating.

One time you were in the hangar talking to Pyre, talking something over before he leaves on a shuttle. Once you were done and he was about to turn around to go up the ramp to the ship, you said your goodbyes and a “take care, I love you” slipped out right as two stormtroopers were walking past you two with some crates. All four of you froze on the spot; it wasn’t a secret that you and the commander were a thing, but Pyre had made it clear from the start that he wouldn’t want this kind of interactions to reach prying ears or eyes. It was your first and only slip-up, so you were unsure of how he would react, and what to do. One of the troopers cleared their throat and carried on as if nothing had happened, the other one following suit. Once they were out of earshot, you were about to apologise to him, but with his visor cast down to the floor, he wordlessly took your hand in his and gave it a squeeze before effectively turning around and boarding the ship. Unbeknownst to you, that man was sporting a violent blush underneath the helmet.

~~~~~

[link to join the taglist in my pinned post!]

[birdiebortnik]

oh it is 4 AM and this is probably riddled with typos but here we go <3

Fanfic Writer Review

Omg! Thank you @harumin24 for tagging me! <3<3<3<3 (spamming you with hearts) 

“How many works do you have on Ao3?”

I have seven! With hopes of more. Six of them are multi-chapter stories, one is from a gift exchange I did a million years ago for a fandom I'm no longer in lmao, and two of them are WIPs. 

“Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes?”

White Catchfly- 812

Here I Am- 343

Meadow Sweet Fennel- 262

Acropolis- 144 

I don’t endorse the gift exchange fic, that was a different me from a different time but i refuse to delete it cause like one or two people have it bookmarked. 

“Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?”

Yes yes yes! Comments make my heart leap out of my chest and smile like a darn fool for hours! I have a little routine where I only respond to comments once I’ve posted the next chapter of my story cause I am such a slow writer I’m pretty convinced that every reader has totally forgotten the fic exists. Unfortunately because of the debilitating adhd sometimes responding to comments and DM’s about finished stories is still on the docket (IM GETTING TO IT I PROMISE!)  

“What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?”

Oh ho ho ho ho. I write angsty angsty shit. But that being said, I don’t want my readers to leave feeling hopeless and crushed. I want to balance out the whump and hurt with some reality of hope. I put a bob the drag queen quote at the end of all my fics, “everything works out in the end, so if things aren’t working out it is not the end.” I put this on there mainly for my readers in case they need to hear it, but I also want to reflect it within my stories. I’m not going for tragic for tragedies' sake but I’m also not going for cartoonishly happy endings, I’m trying to hit a middle ground. All of that being said I think right now the angstiest ending I’ve written is for White Catchfly— the children have returned from Narnia and are re-learning their lives in England. Much has been lost with this ending and there’s trepidation in the future. 

However, Green Carnations is a strong contender because it ends when Ben is really just starting his life and there’s this kind of impending cloud that is the events of canon in the distance.  

(Rest assured I have much angstier endings planned mwahahahahah). 

“What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?”

Hmm! I think it’s a toss up between Here I Am and Acropolis. Here I Am ends with hope after INTENSE angst and honestly I kind of regret that, I was a little burnt out on that fic when it was time to write the ending and I don’t think I gave it all the care it deserved. To remedy that I’d love to write some one-shots to expand, but I just need some ideas (if any here i am fans are out there and you have prompts my asks and dms are open!). On the other hand, Acropolis isn’t as angsty overall and the last chapter is pretty cute (if I do say so myself) with family bonding, sibling fun, music, etc. 

“Do you write crossovers?”

I do not as of now. I’m less fandom focused and less ship focused and much much more character focused so I tend to hone in one detail/person which doesn’t really lend itself to balancing crossovers. 

“Have you ever received hate on a fic?”

No! Thank goodness and knock on wood. My fics are pretty specific so I assume anyone clicking on them knows what they’re in for. I’ve gotten some odd comments (I think only on Here I Am), but nothing I would call hate. 

“Do you write smut? If so, what kind?”

I haven’t. Not yet at least. I don’t think I’m really attracted to writing smut for smut’s sake. Though its something im a little torn about— a lot of my stories have themes of coming into one’s sexuality and there have been several instances already and I have more instances and scenes planed where moments of sexuaity/description of sexuality would make sense narratively and I do fully believe in sex being a useful literary device but I’m unsure how to navigate being more detailed than vague reference, shadowy description, and fade to black. We shall see what the future holds I suppose!  

“Have you ever had a fic stolen?”

Not to my knowledge. 

“Have you ever had a fic translated?”

Nope! 

“Have you ever co-written a fic before?”

I haven’t! My writing tends to happen in a late night adhd coffee fueled frenzy and also tends to center around real specific headcanons and smaller fandoms so I’m not sure my writing lifestyle is very conducive to co-writing. 

“What’s your all-time favourite ship?”

Alas, I am not really a ship person. I get it, I do. But like i said earlier, I’m much more individual character focused. However when I think of character pairs that should smooch cause they seem very in love the first pairs that come to mind are Harry and Dale from twin peaks (i never finished the show but I don’t platonically grab my friends noses, what’s that about dale, huh?) and the roman solider and cowboy from night of the museum who invented romance. Am I only thinking of those two pairs cause its four am? WAIT! I do love Legolas/Gimli I do love that. 

“What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?”

Crying. Sobbing. Kicking. Screaming. I have started so many WIPs. I’ve only posted the ones I’m 100% going to finish, but in the drafts are a three musketeers fic, a merlin fic, a boy meets world fic (i’m almost done with it, I have hope!), a boys in the boat fic (i loved the movie interpretations of the lads as characters, but the more i sit on the this fic, the more i remember they were based off real people and i get a lil uncomfy), two white collar fics, a flash fic, a she loves me fic (yes, the broadway musical), dead boy detective fics (ill probably never finish those alas), lotr, abbot elementary, thelma (2024), i started a parks and rec one once upon a time, a modern family fic, stranger things (the hyperfixation lasted maybe a week if that), two marvel fics, a prodigal son fic, dr who, that show with the dog hudson and rex, and i just started a open a doc for my current fast and furious tangent 

I know this sounds like so much and it is, but only a few of these are more than a page. Some of them are just a title and blank doc or one paragraph. When I say i have adhd i mean it. I open a doc for almost every show I watch. 

“What are your writing strengths?”

Oy gavalt. Something I try and take care to do is root a lot of things in the body of the characters which I think helps with fleshing out the descriptions of emotions. I also think I’m alright at coming up with the one way gate— that being the plot moment that the characters can not come back from (romeo killing tybalt for example) but i'm still working on making it all more succinct and fleshed out. 

“What are your writing weaknesses?”

In a big picture sense— plot. Sometimes I feel like my characters show up on the page, have emotions, and then it's the end. Goodnight goodbye. Recently i feel like i’ve forgotten some of my tactics in plotting things out so I’m trying to go back to that. In conjunction with this, I’m really not good at the ticking clock (in reference to Charles’ Baxter’s lecture on aspects of an effective plot). I feel like my characters are seldom in a plot enhancing time crunch. I’m working on it. 

In a none big picture way— yall i’ve got to come up with another way to communicate what’s going on with a character besides describing their breath. Maybe its cause i have asthma so im just like really aware of what my lungs are doing but my characters breathing is so constantly central to how im communicating with them and i feel like it gets repetitive. 

“What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?”

I’ve done it! It’s really hard! I provide translations whenever I do it to keep readers in the loop. When I was writing russian dialogue for here i am I was instantly hit with how my russian is much more of a russian/ukrainian/yiddish familect and while my speaking/understanding is a little better I had 0 formal reading/writing education. A kind soul fluent in like proper academic russian volunteered to help me out, but man, it was tough. 

I have other fics in the works (-ish, you saw my wip list, im freaking toast, dude) where I have characters who I want to represent speaking in another language that I have no experience with which is really intimidating especially since fluency is so dependant on location and culture and time and colloquialisms that can be impossible to translate when you’re not fluent yourself. 

All that to say, I want to speak and write about every language but rn I’m focused on getting out of bed so we’ll see what happens lmao. 

“What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?”

I’m vibrating in place. Again y’all saw my wip list. It’s out of control. It’s hard to say cause my brain jumps from idea and focus to idea and focus so rapidly that I don’t really know what’s on the horizon. I will say, one that I’ve not really worked on in a serious way, as my ideas are very scattered, but I keep coming back to is White Collar. A Neal fic may very well be on its way (wow, a fic where a traumatized man realizes he’s gay, so original avi, you’ve never written something like that before! Listen, ill write it a million times over leave me alone). 

However, a way out of left field fleeting fixation that is calling to me from the google docs is fast and furious. I’ve watched one film. That’s it, one film, the first one. I have no plans to watch any more. HOWEVER, there is a character in the first film that is barely expanded upon, dies, and does not come back in any of the other films. And let me tell you, my brain is seeing an opportunity here, like Ben from Lupin, this kid is a blank canvas with like zero canon details that I want to craft an entire life story for, a story that certainly no one will read but i do want to write. 

“What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?”

You’re going to make me choose from all my babies? My beautiful children? 

Listen— White Catchfly has a special place in my heart as the seed of Larch and the first project I started and finished.

Here I Am does not make the cut because though i love it, like i said, i got a little burnt out and im not proud of every chapter 

Acropolis gets an honorable mention cause it gets no love (thats so okay i knew exactly what i was getting into writing a side character focused no powers au for a fandom where the powers are like 99% of it) and i think its cute and its the first medical trauma fic ive written which makes it unique 

Green Carnations, my child, my beloved. I love it so much, it was such a labor of love. This was one of the fics that is like 99% me cause it’s about a character with no canon details and i made up all of it so the few and mighty comments on it are so special cause my dear readers are getting no canon and all me and it just floors me that they clicked on the fic and stuck around.  

However, the winner at the moment is Meadow Sweet Fennel. Technically its not over yet, we’ve still got one more chapter. I really love this fic. The larch series is one of my favorites to work on and this was the first larch story where i got to explore the historical component which is one of the main aspects of the series. This fic really felt like a step up from White Catchfly, i think my writing really matured with this fic and it feels like a sturdy push into the rest of the larch series and one of the largest most impactful steps in getting to the stories yet to come. <3 

I don’t really have other fic writing pals but if any writers following me feel compelled i tag you!

[aranarumei]

10 17 24 I think was the last one. hi kiri Ask game :)

ask me something from this list?

putting these answers under a cut bc it got long

10: what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

okay I need to do some research for this one. I think this question means to ask, like, how long I’ve just… not worked on something before coming back to it and completing it? and that’s different from “how long have you worked on a project” which is… also a bit hard to determine. I’ll just note some interesting spans of time, then. my current WIP has existed in some form since October of 2021, which is fun. I’ve definitely spent a good 6 months not touching it in the slightest, maybe longer during the early years, but I’ve not finished this one yet. I am committed to completing this, though. it’s just a fic that takes and deserves a lot of work. apart from that, I’ve been writing vague scenes related to freed & laxus’s relationship, and snippet #4 was written 2 whole years after snippet #3. so I’m definitely someone who can return to old ideas… especially around 2021 and forward, my style hasn’t deviated enough for me to really never want to return back to any of it. so I tend to add to fics I haven’t touched in a long time. my ideas usually just hang in unpublished limbo for years, sadly. most of it will probably never see the light of day even though I like it. I’m trying to get more comfortable just posting scenes with little context, but it’s tough.

as for published stuff, for “bloom” I wrote the first scene in September of 2019, and then started working on it again in September 2020, which is when I then posted it.

17: talk about your writing and editing process

oh boy… how do I talk about this. I’m unsure even how to describe any of it.

like titles, I think my fic ideas stem from two places: the “point” and “concept” at hand. sometimes I’ll think “oh, this situation would be really fun to explore” (like, hanzawa showing up in the case files of jeweler richard) and work from there to figure out what the main idea of that story would look like (okay, so I think this would lead into discussing how hanzawa puts up a façade, and seigi’s influence would change him in a way that is impactful yet minimal enough to work for merging both canons), and sometimes I’ll think “oh, I really want to express this aspect of a story / character” (I want to write about what interests me regarding hanzawa and tashiro’s relationship) and have to figure out how to get there (I can have them discuss hanzawa’s dyed hair during club practice, and expand that out into various musings).

these usually start out with me just like… writing a scene, if I’ve got a vision of one in mind, but some just start out with like. a topic sentence. it depends how clear I am on what I’m doing. These days I outline more often, so I tend to hash out the concept alone or with a friend, collecting various ideas for how I might expand on whatever I initially thought, so it can actually be a complete piece of work. I first start by outlining various “scenes” or “moments” I think would work, and then I try to break it down into way more detail and build stuff out. for longer things, I might have extra notes just analyzing various parts of the piece.

writing is usually just pretty much… sitting down and doing it. I tend to write scene by scene, and write later scenes only when it’s like, I’ve got a perfect vision of how it’ll go and have to write it down. so I can have snippets of stuff that shows up later, but it’s not usually intentional. for fics where I have a detailed outline of bullet points, I stick that section of the outline in my draft and write while going through each bulleted point. delete a bullet point every time I complete that bit, until I’m done with the scene.

I edit a bit as I go, but to not get too stuck, if I’m struggling for words I tend to put that bit in square brackets [like so]. when I edit, I usually ctrl+f for these square brackets and try to address any notes I might’ve written down. then I like to just read through it and either mark it up as I go or just fix it as I go. it depends on the level of work something might need. I edit scene by scene, though when I edit is up to when I feel like it. sometimes it’s just at the end, or other times I write a scene, edit the scene, and then write the next one. if I can, I’ll sometimes get someone else to read over a scene, especially if I feel unsure about the direction.

lastly, I like to sleep or rest my eyes before doing a final check for grammar, spelling, and formatting. in general I like to try and have “fresh eyes” while editing!

24: how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

…do I? I feel like I almost always want to write and want to be creative. Usually it’s life that’s hampering me. but there’s definitely times when words feel beyond me. I usually just sleep, or I try to switch formats… instead of prose, why not bullet point my way through it first? or talk through it and just vocalize all the dialogue? or I switch to handwriting text, or I change the font so what I’m working on looks visually different to before. I think that helps the work feel less stale. I also love talking to other people, because that makes me get a bit of external motivation.

[rexxdjarin]

(I’m not the anon who sent you hate about Mari!)

I really do mean this in the nicest way possible. This is not intended to insult or belittle you or your writing style at all. I just want to maybe help clear up what some people might find “problematic” about Mari (but the hate anon obviously did a poor job of voicing their complaints because it was very destructive criticism rather than constructive criticism).

I think the misconceptions about Mari stem from the fact that the majority of scenes in both Captain’s Log and Unwritten (I have read both many times) are just smut and lack a true emotional connection between Rex and Mari beyond being physical. That gives off the vibe that their relationship is only rooted in sex and that it’s the only saving grace of the relationship. Sex and love can be mutually exclusive. I understand wanting to write a sexually-liberated female character, because society severely represses women of their sexuality, but sometimes I feel like Rex and Mari are only together because of their physical attraction to one another. Additionally, there is major emphasis on Mari’s beauty from every single character (other than Rex): Shaeeah Lawquane, Omega, Wrecker, Gregor, Echo, Fives, Wolffe...the list goes on. None of her other personality traits are really complimented, just her looks. That might be problematic to some people because it fails to look at Mari as a whole person. Expanding on her intelligence, empathy, and fearlessness in both stories might help counterbalance her seductive nature while not discounting it.

Also, you reblog posts that include details about Rex and Mari’s relationship in the tags, and that’s the only tell about how Mari helps the clones. The audience doesn’t see that in the actual stories because there’s no explicit subplot that shows Mari helping Padmé in the Senate during the Clone Wars. So for those who only read the story, they wouldn’t know Mari’s political background with Padmé, other than an offhand mention of it.

Again, this is no hate toward you. I’m just trying to help elucidate the arguments against Mari. You’re an amazing writer and I admire you so much for your dedication and passion for your stories! I sincerely hope this doesn’t hurt your feelings because that isn’t what I intended at all. I’m open to hearing what your response to these claims, in case I missed something in both stories; you’re the expert!

I don’t even know what to say to any of this. Because despite literally every single thing I’ve put into this story, as much emotion as I can possibly put into the subject matter, I still have people saying and believing this.

Like first of all, Unwritten isn’t finished. I am only 3 chapters in. I have not gotten to explain any of the times she has done things and will do to help the clones politically socially etc. I literally haven’t written them yet.

Captain’s Log started as a reader, so a lot of the things I attribute to Mari weren’t initially in that story because it didn’t start out as being an OC story.

At the end of the day, I feel like I’ve put so many conversations and situations between the two of them that are so much bigger than just sexual stuff.

I’m just writing my stories the best way I can. To sit here and try this hard to dissect my characters and my story is incredibly hurtful. We’re all just here writing stories for fun on the internet. I feel like lately people on here are trying so hard to make me feel like I’m not allowed to do that.

I haven’t written or published anything in so long. I have had a miserable and extremely difficult year as it is which has made writing the stories I love basically impossible. I was really excited to try to get back to my stories. Receiving messages like this from you and others really doesn’t make me want to continue.

“I hope this doesn’t hurt your feelings” while simultaneously calling for me to somehow defend my response to these claims….like wow. Idk how anyone would take this any other way but to be really hurt by it.

So thanks for this. Really made me feel awesome.

[6gumi]

⋆.˚ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐒 — 𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑺 𝑹𝑼𝑩𝑰 !

⊹ --- 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖 .

my blog is an nsfw + dark content blog. (also sfw) meaning minors + ageless blogs get the hell out !! <3 + you must have your age somewhere on ur acc to indicate that you aren’t a minor !!

i often use petnames for both anons n my precious lil mutuals <3 so if you are one of my mutuals n uncomfy w it . . please do lmk ! other than that, keep that fact in mind !

please DO NOT SPAM-LIKE my posts otherwise you’ll get blocked. sorry not sorry. (4x in a row without reblogging or commenting), do not bring discourse here, most importantly do not bother sending hate asks. it will be deleted.

you can most definitely send an ask to be mutuals and i’ll check your page just in case! but please do not be forceful w me when asking.

i’m a little slow n stupid, if you want to break the mutual or i make you uncomfortable please feel free to hard-block me. i’m slow n i can’t tell if i’ve been soft blocked, so please feel free to hard-block me so we don’t make things awkward between the both of us

i age up some of the characters i write for. if that doesn’t satisfy you, then don’t interact with my blog completely and just block me

i can guarantee that i have a very broken posting schedule, so requests may not be done immediately as sometimes i get overwhelmed. so, please don’t take it the wrong way when you see that i haven’t fulfilled your request yet. i just have a very unstable posting schedule ! keep that in mind but i will try my very best to do your requests + thirsts !

english is not my first language so sometimes my grammar can be messed up at times, don’t pay too much attention on my terrible grammar i’m working on it !!

i openly interact with dark content and nsfw content, i will tag them if needed.

useful tags: TAGS HERE.

⋆.˚ 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓. 𝐆𝐎 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 !

absolutely do not interact with me if you’re a ZIONIST, a minor (obvi), homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist, misogynistic, fit the rest of the basic dni criteria, send hate asks / spread hate for literally no reason, or you’re just a rude person in general. in this blog, my blog = my rules. i’m willing to block anyone who oversteps my boundaries or make me feel uncomfortable or sends me unnecessary hate. i kindly ask for you guys to respect me as a whole, that’s all i’m asking for.

absolutely don’t interact if you support isr𝟒𝐞𝐥

⋆.˚ 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 .

once again i am a multifandom blog, i write for multiple fandoms (honkai star rail, jujutsu kaisen, blue lock mostly + maybe chainsaw man genshin impact + bungo stray dogs also) my requests are open at the moment, thirsts are always opened so i prefer if you send more thirsts than requests.

another thing i’d like to mention . . . i can guarantee that i will not write for npcs :,> & i would prefer writing requests that interest me . . . please don’t be too detailed !

WHAT I ABSOLUTELY WON’T WRITE — gore, scat, necrophilia, noncon (everything i write is strictly consensual.) foot fetish, armpit fetish, vomit, and vore as well.

some dark content things i may write is stepcest, consensual somno, “yandere”/ obsessive themes etc etc. i’ll be sure to tag a few things as well to let you guys know.

i do NOT condone to these things irl in real life. please keep that in mind ! these things are fiction . . . fiction does not equal reality :)

and that’s about it. go crazy with your requests + thirsts as long as they aren’t detailed or written as something i don’t / will not be writing. ^-^ it is encouraged that you ask first if you’re unsure about something !

thank you for reading bbies ! here is my masterlist

[candycandy00]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for tagging me, @scary-grace! This was a lot of fun!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

18, though I’ve only posted a fraction of my BNHA stuff on there and there’s even some JJK stuff I haven’t posted there yet. 

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

217,870. And wow it took me way too long to find that lol. I didn’t even know about the Statistics page! 

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Currently, Jujutsu Kaisen and Boku no Hero Academia. I wrote for a ton of different fandoms back in my “previous era” I’ll call it lol. I wrote for One Piece, Naruto, Final Fantasy (mostly 7 and 12), Death Note, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Durarara!!, and lots of other things (almost all of it featuring non canon ships like Cloud x Yuffie and L x Misa). I’d like to try writing for Bungou Stray Dogs and Demon Slayer at some point. 

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Doll House (2,280)

Human (390)

The Offering (377)

How to Seduce a Gamer (300)

Little Miss Nobody (234)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! But sometimes if it’s a comment on an older chapter of something I might not or if I got several close together I miss a few and then I’m too embarrassed to go back and respond later. Or if they just comment with an emoticon, I’m not sure how to reply lol. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

In my current era, it’s definitely the Mr. Compress chapter of The Dark Carnival. I have other fics that end badly for Reader but this one felt very tragic to me. 

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Most of mine have pretty happy endings! 

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Current era, I occasionally get people complaining that certain Readers are wimpy or stupid or whatever. I even had one person on AO3 write out a huge wall of text about how one of my Reader characters was a Mary Sue (they simultaneously complained that she was too weak and useless in a fight but also too perfect). But I tend to shrug off those comments. Readers are supposed to be Mary Sues. They’re literally Reader/Writer self inserts! Part of the appeal of x Reader fanfiction is the fantasy of Reader being an idealized version of yourself. So yeah she can hang out with the League of Villains and be the only girl Dabi has ever liked, or she can be old high school buddies with Gojo and Geto and they’re both crazy about her. It’s all fantasy. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Yes! And I write pretty much all kinds that don’t involve my three “big no’s” (minors, animals, or scat/pee/vomit). 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

Not since I was a kid, writing Sailor Moon/DBZ crossovers lol. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not in my current era, not that I know of. In my previous era, I wrote a Gundam Wing fanfic that got really popular in the fandom and was ripped off twice. Not exactly copied word for word, but very close in both cases. They basically changed the wording around a bit but kept the entire plot the same (and it was a very unique AU with a big, sprawling plot). 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Like 20+ years ago a friend and I were co-writing a very fucked up DBZ fanfic together. It was actually pretty good, but it was unfortunately lost to time. I’d give anything to find it and be able to read it again, but she’s the one who was posting it and she deleted her account a few years later. 

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 

I’m just gonna go with my current fave ships of my two main fandoms: BNHA (Spinneraki) and JJK (SatoSugu). 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

Probably The League of Villains Heroes. I love it dearly but it gets practically no notes so I have little motivation to keep working on it. 

16. What are your writing strengths? 

I’ve always felt like dialogue is my strong point. Probably because, until I was up into my 20’s, I rarely read actual books and almost exclusively read comics/manga (which tend to be dialogue heavy). I think I’m pretty decent with plotting as well. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

Descriptions! 😩 I am so bad at describing things. Or rather, I’m bad to just… not do it. I literally forget to. I’ve had friends read my work and be like “what does this place look like?” Or “what does that guy look like?” And I can see it all so clearly in my head that I forget readers can’t see it as well. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I sometimes toss in some honorifics just because it seems weird to have certain characters not use them. Other than that, I try to avoid throwing in random Japanese (the only other language I would even consider using, just because these are Japanese characters). I did have Sukuna say his famous “Gambare, gambare” line once but it’s just too iconic! 

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

First I wrote for: Sailor Moon. First I actually posted a fic online for: Dragon Ball Z. 

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

I’m going to pick one from each fandom, only among completed fics. 

BNHA: Trending Topics

JJK: The Offering

Tagging @missrosegold and any other writer friends who would like to do this!

[the-diary-of-bev-bevan]

What is the point of this blog?

To provide a relatively organized index of strange, fun, and obscure facts sourced from Electric Light Orchestra dummer Beverley “Bev” Bevan for fans to scroll/search through.

My main source, The Electric Light Orchestra Story, has been out of print for decades and is thus a rare and expensive find, resulting in many fans not being able to purchase it for themselves. As of late I’ve had more fans asking me about the contents of the book, and that presents me a unique opportunity to offer some accessibility. I own The Electric Light Orchestra Story.

What is The Electric Light Orchestra Story?

The Electric Light Orchestra Story is a journalistic biography written by Bevan. It is also shortened to The ELO Story, or affectionately and readily called “Bev’s book”.

“Since my career began in rock music in 1962 I have kept a detailed scrap book and a daily diary. From these comes the story of the Electric Light Orchestra.” — Bev Bevan

The book contains a vast string of anecdotes covering the span of a decade, from the early years and dissolution of The Move to the very latest ELO album at the time, Discovery. It is rightfully considered the ELO bible, since no other book like it is out there and comes from an inside source.

Requests

Here are a variety of reasons fans might come into my asks in case you need a place to start!

wanting information on specific band members or crew, including earlier members or crew

clarification/elaboration on posted facts

wanting to know if a fact you learned elsewhere is true and found within the book

asking to post something completely random as a surprise just to see what you get

Tags

I haven’t got a real plan for tags yet, but I can safely say any posts about specific band members will be tagged with their names for easy finding. This will also include anecdotes with several people involved.

Any story having to do with The Move—the band Bev Bevan, Jeff Lynne, and Roy Wood were a part of before the formation of ELO—will be tagged accordingly.

Something to address.

Parts of The Electric Light Orchestra Story are dated due to some views expressed by the author at the time.

Bevan would sometimes equate being gay to inherently displaying predatory behavior from people of the same gender/sex. In this day and age we know being gay and existing is not the same thing as being gay as well as predatory. This wasn’t so much hatred coming from Bevan as it was misplaced paranoia over gay men, but is still dated homophobia.

As this work was written forty years ago, I as the owner of this blog and book cannot say this book speaks absolutely for Bev Bevan at the present time. It is up to your discretion to decide this for yourselves and I am sorry if it taints your experience in any way. I felt I had to address this aspect of the book because it is present in specific anecdotes which makes it hard to avoid.

Another thing to address.

As with 99% of rock band biographies, Bevan is uncensored and unfiltered as reasonably possible. I personally want to keep the fun facts as PG to PG-13 as I can, since I feel uncomfortable with writing out or showing the details in a few of these anecdotes. Partly for being asexual, partly because of potentially younger readers than me!

This is something I will figure out better down the road, but for now I hope to recant stories in a way that won’t take away from their charm.

[honeydjarin]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙💙

(@wings-and-beskar)

Ah, Self love. I don’t know her 😔

But I do know the order of my top 5 favorite fics!

Edge of the Map (Spencer Reid) - I put my whole heart and soul into this mini series! It is heavily inspired by my own life experiences. I tried to include symbolism and a nod towards fairy/folk tales. It also has an MC who sees too much in her dreams, what’s not to love? It was kind of a flop but it’s still #1 in my heart

To the Bone (Din Djarin) - My second series! The longest thing I’ve ever written, and it’s not done yet. Someday I’ll get the motivation to finish it. I’m really proud of the setup of this fic and there’s definite growth from other fics I wrote.

Bittersweet (Steve Harrington) - just a short fic about the ache of longing and summertime romance. I think it’s more sweet than bitter and I like to reread it sometimes

Anything that Touches (Steve Harrington) - another summer fic (oh summer how I love you). I like reader characters that are a little ditsy, dumb, and depressed because I can see myself in them (maybe that’s not a good thing?).

What it means to grow (Spencer Reid) - this one was a little longer, and I’m proud of how each of the little chunks in the fic parallel each other. I’m also proud of how I ended it, something that often isn’t the case. Endings are hard!!!

I have some fics that I haven’t posted, either because they’re on the back burner or they’re still being worked on now, that I’m really proud of too. I wish more of the Star Wars fics made the List, but writing has been such a struggle lately despite how much I love it. Hopefully that will change soon!

[transcendersmedia]

Would you like being forced into a relationship?

When working on relation games, there are many things to take into consideration. I’ve already elaborated a little upon the fact that the choice of characters in relation games is very important, and will affect the players a lot.

When working on those kinds of games I have asked myself questions, such as if players should get a wide variety of romanceable characters to choose from, and be able to shift the relationships according to their preferences, or if it sometimes makes sense to exhort players into having relationships they wouldn’t choose for themselves, to convey a specific story.

Through our experiences working on Knife Sisters, I’ve understood that, even though it’s absolutely doable to coerce players into things, it comes with a cost, and that’s what this post will be about (there will be some spoilers so read with caution).

The relationship between Leo and Dagger

We discovered that players can heavily object to being forced into relationships they haven’t chosen for themselves, if they do not enjoy these relationships. As I wrote in the last post, the storyline with Dagger is the main story in Knife Sisters. So what happens if you don’t like Dagger, and don’t like being subjected to her? It turns out that most of the ‘not recommended’ reviews on Steam mention not being able to opt out of the storyline and relationship with Dagger as something that negatively impacts the game.

When I come across a bad review I generally react emotionally, I often avoid it by for instance skim-reading, and sometimes dismissing the information as not relevant (that’s a coping mechanism – it is really hard to handle when someone truly hates something you’ve tried to be careful about and have put so much effort into). But in this case something got me interested in what the players who objected strongly were actually experiencing – so I decided to take a little more note than I might otherwise do.

So this is from a really lengthy review by someone who disliked Knife Sisters immensely  – both because of how the game was designed, and how the characters were written and/or portrayed.

First and foremost, all dating sims have one thing in common: making you feel like you have a choice. This generally makes or breaks a dating sim, and in this case, it breaks it. This game makes you feel like the relationships you pick, are the ones you decided on. This is not the case at all. I will tell you the obvious now: Dagger is your girlfriend. These other characters? We don’t know them.

The reviewer then discusses their emotions around having to always come back to Dagger, no matter how they feel about her:

Anyway, in all seriousness, I hate Dagger. I didn’t want to be with her at all, yet the story doesn’t progress until she is acknowledged. /…/ after a while, it just gets redundant. Suddenly, I’m not playing the game anymore, the game is playing me.

A game about power and dependency

This player seems to have been hoping for a queer dating sim where player choice regarding all the relationships’ outcome (including the relationship with Dagger) would be much greater than what it was. Since Knife Sisters is about dependency and power relations (something that is clearly stated in the description and also in the beginning of the game), there definitely is coercion – meaning that the player/Leo can’t fully get away from Dagger. Being caught in Dagger’s net is what the game’s theme is about – and if that’s not something you as a player would want to explore, and you can’t stand it, then the game will be experienced as almost abusive to you, which is what this player is expressing. They are also saying that there are some expectations on the genre dating sim, that Knife Sisters just doesn’t live up to.

The game and its player

To counter, some reviewers thought very differently about the game. In her Kotaku article, Kate Gray goes into the topic of the player’s relationship to the main character – and that their wants and needs actually could differ to some extent. In the beginning of the article, she poses this question:

Can a character be their own person? It’s intriguing, the idea that the player and player-character could be two separate identities, with two separate senses of agency and decision-making. Often, they are one and the same: The player tells the player-character to do something, or say something, and they will. But in many narrative games, sometimes the player-character has a personality already, and they know what they do and don’t like.

What Gray addresses here is something I’ve thought of a lot, and have made a deliberate choice about. I want the main character to be a person that has their own agenda. Within the framework of their agenda, the player can make choices. And the relationship with Dagger is, in a way, a reflection of that design decision. No matter if the player likes Dagger, Leo is intrigued by her, and has a hard time resisting her. In that respect, Knife Sisters probably does break dating sim norms.

Gray continues:

Leo decides how they feel about the world, but you, the player, decide how they interact with it. Yes, Leo is scared, that much is clear; but whether or not they do something despite their fear is up to you.

This way of playing actually demands of the player to accept the main character’s personality and circumstances – which might be too much to ask of every single player, since they will sometimes want more agency than what the game can offer.

What do you think?

[vitaminwaterreviews]

Itzy - Cheshire

Very much an album of two halves. The first two songs are excellent. I think Cheshire is a Very good song, I should listen to it more, I should look into it and really Understand it. Kind of like how I Understand Snowy. Freaky was kinda mid, not totally offensive but not great either. Boys Like You was straight outta 2012 Disney Channel, which sometimes I like, but not in this particular case.

I should listen to more Itzy in general, but nothing else that I’ve heard from them really warrants it? Like, I think Wannabe is kinda mid, their most recent album (Born to Be) was kinda mid, the other tracks on this album were kinda mid … maybe Snowy really just is peak Itzy. Or maybe I just don’t understand their sound well enough yet! Oh yeah, average rating is 8.0 which is fair enough. Snowy pulls the average up, the other two drag it down a bit, and they meet in the middle at Cheshire. It’s definitely worth a listen if you haven’t heard it before, but if you just wanna listen to Snowy then that’s also totally acceptable.

- I know Cheshire and Snowy. In fact, Snowy is one of my all-time favorites. I believe I’ve heard the other two songs once each, but that will have been two years ago or so.

Cheshire

God, I just love the background music

It sounds like … music boxy?

And then the bass drum is Thumping

There’s a clip somewhere on the internet of Lily saying like “Omg Cheshire is so hard, it goes so high” and then she just like sings the chorus perfectly fine

This song is So kpoppy though

Like people who aren’t into kpop would just despise this, I’m sure

8/10

Snowy

I named myself after this song

I’ve actually written a Bunch about this song, like several pages

Really there’s just one thing, but this song does that one thing so well and so cleverly that it’s just perfect

And of course, my appreciation for the song is mostly due to how much I read into it

That’s why it’s kind of unfair to do albums where I already know most of the songs. But oh well

I’m not even talking about the song itself because I know it so well

Like, I don’t actually hear those beautiful chimes anymore, I just feel them intuitively

Here it comes

Goosebumps

10/10

Freaky

Well this sounds significantly less freaky than the first two songs

Yeah, this is just like, standard Itzy-sounding r&b

Maybe it’s more interesting lyrically? But I don’t have the lyrics on

The flute is pretty

7/10

Boys Like You

Owl City vibes for some reason

Woah this is some HARD hitting percussion

Oh wait do I know this song?

Yo wait this is all english

Yeah this is why I like songs with Korean, the lyrics just don’t really add anything

This post-chorus feels pretty forced

And their voices are SO autotuned oml

The bridge is kinda pretty though

This actually sounds very Disney Channel lol

7/10