#there are some exception to the rule tho
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Maaan I love the optimistic advice "keep practicing and you'll get better at art" as much as the next artist, but it always rubs me the wrong way when that evolves into "just keep practicing and you WILL 100% succeed and CAN get into the industry."
It changes from good general advice to implying you're just doing something wrong if still haven't "made it" yet. Not in the industry? Well, you just haven't worked hard enough, obviously, as if there aren't plenty of other factors that play into "succeedingâ in a highly competitive industry like art.
Donât let advice thatâs supposed to be encouraging turn into something discouraging đ
#thereâs a lot more to worming your way into the art industry than just. studying art real hard and working your bones off#hard work only gets you so far.#a lot of âsuccessâ also starts at childhood and that goes for any industry#having supportive family and even better if theyâre financially supportive#good early education. good physical and mental health. the ability to focus and do the same task over and over for hours#good social skills- because networking gets you a lot further than pure talent alone.#growing up in a convienaint location to even network at all. or the power to travel to such a location.#natural talent puts you ahead. brains work differently so itâs ignorant to pretend natural talent isnât a thing#some take to a skill faster than others because their brain comes out more wired for it. so their skills develop easier and faster#music never came to me. I canât hear the tone of my own voice most of the time. I DID study music and take mystic classes as a teen#itâs insulting to be banged over the head with âif you study music youâll start to get it.â Iâm 28#I know myself and have tried during an age which music is easier to learn and yet I did not. I donât have talent for it- my brain doesnât-#-grasp it. the same with any art. some will struggle more to learn visual art âgood enoughâ for the industry#and implying that they just donât get it yet becasue they havenât tried hard enough is insulting#you can always get better. always always!! but sometimes grinding is just⊠grinding. fruitless and painful#I failed algebra twice as a teen. I couldnât understand punnet squares till my 20s.#saying work harder and youâll become a math professor would be insulting. implying I never tried to learn at all.#implying that even tho I took tutoring multiple times that maybe. if I just took one more. poor id suddenly be more able.#people work hard and it just clicks and 10 years later youâre in a great art industry job⊠youâre not the rule. youâre the exception#ugggh sorry :p just frustrated. sometimes people just donât realize the kind of luck theyâve had in life and it irritates me
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking abt mechanisms and tummy again <333
#Tim is on the brain#she'd be so fucking skinny. very tragic. consequences of the moon war#she's Also one of the ones who gets full body resets pretty regularly bc of her violence habits#so she very rarely has the opportunity to put on weight- and even more rarely the opportunity to keep it for any notable period of time#she filled out a bit during her Persephone era with the (at the minimum) 70 years Ashes ruled the Acheron#bc she did not die often then and when she did it was even more rarely a complete destruction of her body#it was WILD to look at her body in the mirror and not see bone for the first couple years.#and she kinda misses it sometimes but she won't say that alout#also Jonny <333#he was underfed as hell (less so than Tim tho) during his time in new texas but I like to think his body just naturally holds weight easier#he's always had a bit of a belly#and there was enough time between Carmilla picking him up and getting mechanized that he picked up some more weight too#through regular meals and alcoholism#he's got a beer belly. like his belly isn't stiff stiff and there's a lot of softness there but its more rounded than folds#typical beer belly from a naturally fat person y'know#ough#I love them sm#tummy <33333#all of the mechs are just... so unapologetically into each other's body types#Ivy definitely is chubby too love her for that <3333#all the mechs are chubby. Ts and Tim and Nastya are the exceptions#Brian was heavy set well before his death and that benefited him so much as a robot. so much extra space for optimizing machinery#which is also delightful to crack his stomach open and spread that sensitive machinery out on a bed around him to play with#Ashes is also the obvious choice here but they like to stay completely clothed a lot so tummy glimpses are hard to come by#and immediately drooled over by their partners.#and Raphaella always wears that lil crop top in contrast and she gets So many tummy kisses#and y'know her tummy is ALSO immediately drooled over by her partners because their bodies never get old to each other#everyone has such good tummies. there's no such thing as a bad tummy regardless of how big or small it is#kinkdicon
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Resident Evil really makes me wanna become an unhinged scientist creating horrors beyond our comprehension yet made of our own flesh and maybe a sprinkle of virus/parasite/mold in it to give it some extra ooomph
#txts#this is mostly about re4 bc its on my mind rn#the las plaga is like a dog to me#look if its big enough to be petable at some point then its a puppy-i dont make the rules#its just a more fucked up spider#which then growns into an even more fucked up spider hiding in a human suit i guess#the usual things y'know#i say this but the concept of parasite(anime) fucked me up#just the thought that i could sleep and SMTH could crawl into my ear-fucking disgusting oh god who thought of that no please#nothing you can do except die i guESS#good aesthetics there too tho#fleshy long bits with knives on the end are just a go-to-aesthetic for me i guess#i rly should go buy re4make tbh#like i already watched others play through it and enjoyed that#but i also saw some achievemtns which also made me wanna try my hand on this#which is a first#but expected tbh#resident evil#little me thought i could be whoever does autopsies bc A i cant smell B i am not easily grossed out at all and C if i studied just a bit#more and had the energy for it I could do smth smart but i dont wanna do smth like doctor smart so...dead ppl#this is just that but with extra steps and more corpses walking#to be fair-young me also thought i could go find a way to become immortal if i only managed to get cells to stop dying out#which seems really easy#but like...i am NOT a doctor so dear god do not quote my hubris here#'just stop dying'->younger me#so yes i would like all the funding and all the experimental fluids and.....things đ in the world to play god with thx <3#it's been quite a week i am sure you can tell
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
how i know im going through a depressive episode:
been very irritable and crying a lot lately
keep waking up at 5 am no matter when i go to bed and im tired all the time anyway
can't focus on shit and reading books makes me feel like im sticking nails in my eyes
this is my spotify history
in conclusion: im having a bad time
#im actually kind of proud of my 2000s pop playlist#but i kind of feel like adam scott in that one episode of parks and rec doing stop motion + saying 'could a depressed person make this?'#except it's me with my 10 hour long playlist that i made by going through the billboard hot 100 from 2006-2010 and adding all my faves#plus a handful of other random shit like idk selena gomez and the scene songs i think are underrated and whatnot#the only rules for the playlist are i must have known the song when it was popular and songs may not be newer than 2011#90s is ok tho it's not strictly 2000s i threw some sheryl crow in there#anyway! im experiencing mental distress#i also have pms so i almost wonder if this is hormonally induced.. like would i even be depressed rn if not for that?#i feel like that's me trying to be optimistic that it'll just go away in a few days and i'll be able to sleep properly again#here's hoping i guess lmao#bri babbles
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey! are you interest in Poliziano and the Medici court?
in the sense that you have to know about what the medicis are up to in order to follow along with the rube goldberg machine of interlocking politics during the renaissance (& dynast propaganda building, which is an aspect of political art history I'm always intrigued by, etc), yes. also because the medici are the positive space to the negative space that are the pazzi family, and I'm a 24/7 francesco de' pazzi apologist.
but outside of political spectacle and a general enjoyment of drama, I do not personally care about the medici family or their court of politics. I have said before on this blog and I'll say it again, even if I won't deny them their status as compelling figures in a narrative, I'm a full time medici hater (with varying degrees of seriousness to the statement)
I will say tho, I do spend a lot of time thinking about the relationship drama and everything that went wrong between poliziano, lorenzo, and clarice, like, if that was an HBO show, I'd watch it once a year and make all my friends watch it too. I also enjoy poliziano's writings a lot, obsessed with everything that was going on in his orfeo.
#cannot emphasize enough my first love is machiavelli. the medici family as a whole are going up against that#the odds are very rarely in their favor. almost never.#the exception to this rule is that i find piero the unfortunate extremely weird like i want to put him in a jar and study him#some part of me wants to do a proper pazzi conspiracy comic someday as well but if i do that. i have to do lorenzo#as a secondary protagonist. which is not the most daunting task its like. if i HAD to pick#between two big renaissance projects. the sforzas have my number. also im missing a book on lorenzo which would be key to it all#i might do something about braccio martelli tho. im looking at him. i am thinking thoughts#ask tag
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Movie take: tbh Fight Club's social commentary got kinda lost on me when apparantly every single man on the planet was 100% on board with doing every single thing Tyler told them to because at that point it feels less like "oh my sigma we literally live in a society so true" and more like flat out cosmic horror
#movie toughts#fight club#especially because I tought it was meant to be more a representation of malcontent young men feeling like they have no purpose but then#even old men and people in positions of relative power were getting in on it#which leads me to question on why women wouldn't be affected at that point#which I know is because the movie is about masculinity and male role models yeah yeah idc methinks Tyler Durden is a demon mental virus#and the reason he only affects men (except the narrator) is because of some demon supernatural reason idk#which yeah btw why is the narrator the only one that resists Tyler when every other man in existence goes full hivemind NPC mode for Tyler?#that is yet another question that would be answered by my supernatural mind virus demon with random supernatural rules hypothesis#btw no hate at all to the movie it just didn't hit me as hard as it does for some people#(also I might be misremembering some details because it's been a while sorry don't at me)#the editing was epic tho iirc#also the narrator being actually pretty rich didn't help making his plight any more relatable tbh sorry#I'm tagging this fight club for organization purposes hopefully it doesn't annoy anyone checking through the tag sorry
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
the bad feeling i get about people may take some time to prove itself right but it always does
#remember when longbeachgriffy got caught up in that weirdo shit?#no one on this floating rock less shocked than ya boy#used to say only real niggas came outta long beach but thereâs exceptions to every rule#thatâs some a yâalls boy tho
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
me: iâm tired of these nostalgia grabs and constant redos of everything, why canât we just have new content?
also me when Merlin has the slightest chance to come back: oh my god ohhhhhhh my god yes absolutely okAY OKAY OKAY
#personal#this is also me with ten and donna coming back for the special too#like on the one hand tired of nostalgia grabs bUT#thereâs some exceptions to that rule#everyone else is on thin fucking ice tho
1 note
·
View note
Text
I don't personally enjoy death in my stories for one because I have no experience with it personally and for two because you can't torture a character anymore once they've died đ
#and I mean like perma death not talking abt any afterlifes and the afterlife in my story is based on DnD type deals#but even harder to get to like people can't just die and come back like nothing it is a PROCESS and NOT an easy one and also#not commonly practiced because it is rare to get it right (to be more direct it HASN'T been gotten right yet it's just a theory atm)#I never talk about my story or character OCs BUT I guess here's a taste of it#anyway I don't really kill off my characters but if I do experience a death of some sort then I probably will start writing abt it#but for now my characters are relatively safe also this isn't to say I'm unwilling to write abt death I just don't feel equip to handle it#in terms of a story revolving or somewhat revolving around a grieving process of some sort of dealing with all the different feelings#I dunno that stuff so I wouldn't write it as of right now#torture on the other hand#OH a good example for how I view the whole death thing in my story is kinda like Adventure Time#like that episode with Ghost Princess like ghosts and other paranormal stuff exist and are prominent#and they do go and meet with death thru a portal but that's like the surface level afterlife you can't really hit the deeper levels#unless you are dead and no one can see that stuff unless they are dead like when Finn dies we finally see what it's all like#as for like the levels and stuff I dunno abt all that I have like a very vague concept of how that would work but it's kinda like#beyond human comprehension y'know? that's how I view it and like death is PERMANENT and it's not suppose to be messed with#or bad things happen đ»đ»đ»#there are even more things abt it like little exceptions to the rules but the rules still apply even still it's just like#living on borrowed time or being forced to like#well I don't wanna get too much into that tho that's like super spoilers#but man I enjoy thinking abt it
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
you crochet??? what sort of things have you made?
yup! I'm not an expert, I've mostly used it to make small things like socks and mitts. It can be a pretty handy skill for gift giving if you don't know what to give someone
An example are these fingerless gloves and also some fancier ones for my sibling :}
The second one is supposed to look like dragonscales but i used thicker yarn than you're supposed to. It still looks pretty nice though!
#abyssasks#my hands are COLD in winter so i decided that yk ow what#i havent crocheted anything except squares before but im damn good at making squares so ill make some gloves to myself#i freehanded that first one tho and probably broke several unspoken rules while making the finger holes#I've made prettier things too but they were also gifts
0 notes
Text
gojo satoru x reader | oneshot smut [18+]
title. around the clock
Hooking up with your little brotherâs babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision.
á° pairing. babysitter/boxing au - underground boxer & babysitter!gojo x college student!reader (f)
á° summary. when underground boxer gojo satoru becomes a little strapped for cash, he gets a day job as a babysitter for a five-year-old kid named yuuji who most definitely has adhd (but thatâs besides the point). the kidâs mom gave gojo two rules, and two rules only: donât accidentally kill my son, and do not flirt with my daughter. heâs pretty sure heâs got a good hold on the former, but heâs got no self control over the latter.
á° warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, smut, casual sex, lil bit of fluff, lil bit of crack, slight age gap (readerâs 22 & gojoâs 27), cum play, creampie, unprotected sex, praise kink, slight degradation, gojo is a sleazebag that cares?, sort of porn-coded smut except thereâs a lil bit of lore so itâs kinda porn w plot, uhh having sex with risk of getting caught, gojo beats people up at night & then plays father figure to a 5 y/o during the day, mentions of violence/alcohol/drugs/blood/cigarettes
á° word count. 12.6k
a/n. hiiii friends jeez it feels like FOREVER since i've posted some good ol' smut (still has plot tho xd)...hopefully you enjoy n see ya at the bottom! lmk if i missed any warnings! if you asked to be tagged but didnât get tagged itâs bc you have your tags off aaa :( even when some ppl tried to fix it i still couldnât tag them iâm sorry!!
alsoooooo so very much love to @starmapz for beta reading this for me :â) really helped me w my posting nerves haha. she is also a wonderful jjk author pls go check out her works!! đ ART CREDITS: @/3-aem
âž masterlist
2:34 pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): heyy um iâm sorry if this comes off kinda rude i just am kinda bad with this but i was wondering if you could text my mom for questions about yuujiâs care instead of me?
2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Oh 2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Yeah, sure
2:34 pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): sorry i know my mom doesnât know much ab how to take care of him bc i was the one that took care of him for a while but i just really want to separate myself from that guardian role now that iâve transferred to NYU yknow? :/ i think itâs not my place anymore. i just wanna be big sis now haha
2:46pm Gojo Satoru: I get it. Sorry if I was making you uncomfortable with my texts
2:48pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): no no not uncomfy by it, thanks for looking after him. itâs just iâm kind of busy n stuff so it can be distractingÂ
2:49pm Gojo Satoru: Ok, got it
2:52pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): and it was kind of an issue with his last babysitter
2:53pm Gojo Satoru: Oh?
2:55pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): yeahhh like he would keep textinf me n stuff uhh kinda weird things⊠i told my mom about it and she was super pissed so she fired him
2:55pm Gojo Satoru: Weird things?
2:56pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): yeah he was always âaccidentally sexting meâ n like he sent me a dick pic once sooooo yeah
2:56pm Gojo Satoru: Who tf 2:56pm Gojo Satoru: Iâll go beat him up
2:57pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): oh no no its fine lol 2:57pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): please dont beat anyone up 2:58pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): iâm not saying youâre like him tho i just think maybe less texting unless its an emergency okay?
3:00pm Gojo Satoru: Are you sure because I will totally go beat him up for you
3:01pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): NO I DONT WANT YOU TO BEAT ANYONE UP FOR ME 3:01pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): also no offense but you dont look like you could beat someone up
3:01pm Gojo Satoru: WHAT 3:02pm Gojo Satoru: Tf you mean âno offenseâ thatâs literally the most offensive thing you could say to a guy
3:04pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): yeaa i mean you have muscles ofc but in the âohhh i wanna look good for instagramâ way and not like real man muscles yknow
3:06pm Gojo Satoru: Ok princess next time you visit home and go on one of your stupidly large grocery hauls Iâll make sure you carry all those groceries in by yourselfÂ
3:06pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): NO 3:07pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): I WAS JUST JOKING 3:07pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): YOURE SO STRONG TY FOR ALWAYS CARRYING THE GROCERIES INSIDE 3:08pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): PLEASE KEEP CARRYING MY GROCERIES INSIDE
3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Nah 3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Should we be texting right now? Iâm not sensing any emergencies here
3:11pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): pls. my groceries :(
3:16pm Gojo Satoru: Iâll let the kiddo know you say hi đđŒÂ
The irony of it all was that, if Gojo really wanted to, he absolutely could beat the shit out of someone. And he has, hundreds of times, pseudo professionally. Although that isnât something heâd admit to you, out of fear that you might relay that info back to your mom who would then become mortified that sheâs entrusted her five-year-old sonâs life to the hands of an underground boxer.Â
But he needed the money. A night-time job didnât really make daytime money, not when they could easily replace him with the next dude the second he gets knocked out of the ring more than twice, let alone if he let it happen once. And although he sometimes made large sums, it wasnât stable income. He needed a back-up plan, and so babysitting it was.Â
The babysitter working nights at unsanctioned dojos and gyms located in the back of cartel blocks, knocking teeth out of men twice his size, would put any decent mother into a coma or induce some episode of syncope, hence why it wasnât something he put on his resume before he got hired. Not that he even needed to provide a resume; your mom seemed desperate to cover the position as fast as possible, that promotion at work was moving faster than she wanted to, and Gojoâs beneficial attribute that he possessed as a candidate to look after her son, compared to all the other potential hires, was that he had a penis.
He likes the kid. Yuuji. Heâs got kind of a short attention span, and makes Gojo weary of his age. Hold up, that makes him sound like heâs geriatric, heâs really only the ripe old age of twenty-seven, but the immortality and infinite stamina that a five-year-old boy has on him is enough to have him huffing and puffing at the end of every single evening shift he takes on with the rascal.Â
Fighting is all sprint, and no stamina. Sure, there might be some more seasoned boxers that might disagree with him, but for someone as young as him in the field, itâs the tactic heâs been forced to gain. If he draws a fight on for too long, he'll get killed by a forty-two year old man with steroids clogging up his adipose tissue and enough testosterone to grow a full-body beard by the time the sun starts to set. No, his strategy is to knock them out within the first fifteen seconds. Use their weight against them, and whatnot. A tactic heâs found has worked, since heâs been undefeated thus far.Â
He can never wrap his head around it. The drug lords that run the rings whoâve gained millions the night before from selling crystal meth only to lose it all the night following in the second Gojo hooklines a solid punch to their betting boxerâs chin, making them see God & their Momma before they tap out (if theyâre even able).
He doesnât pocket much money from it, not anything compared to what the men who bet on him end up making at least, but itâs a decently solid sum. How lucrative it really is depends solely on what he thinks the value of his life is.
Itâs not unheard of, boxers dying in the ring. Turns out, rich drug dealers care very little about the sheep theyâve captured to perform their entertaining little stunts. But Gojo wasnât doing all of this to feel some sense of work-life pride, no, it was just sustenance. When basic needs are not met, humans resort to the most animalistic of all behaviors, and while heâs not proud of what he does, he canât deny the fact that itâs turned him into an adrenaline junkie that gets a rush in his veins every time he knocks a jaw loose.
But balance was key. And hence why heâs a boxer by night, babysitter by day. For at least four days a week, he gets to pretend heâs the kingâs most trusted appointed knight, or heâs the radioactive tyrannosaurus rex that wants to tyrannize all the other dinosaurs, or maybe heâs the evil power ranger (he always forgets which color that one was) that is determined to make the world a living hell by smashing mr. potatohead against the bunk bed post a billion times for all the other toys to see. Or whatever other imaginative hyperfixations Yuuji imposes on him in the later afternoon once heâs had his bowl of spaghetti-Oâs and is ready to play. Lately, the kidâs been really into space. Theyâve got all sorts of space toys these days. Back in Gojoâs day, he just had a good olâ Buzz Lightyear.
âOne rule, thatâs it: donât accidentally kill my son. Actually, one more rule. Donât flirt with my daughter.âÂ
Thereâs a part of Gojo that believes your mom kind of knows heâs up to shady shit at night, otherwise why else would she clause for him to not flirt with you if she didnât read the slight swell to his eye and the healing gash across his cheek as anything other than this boy is trouble and I want him nowhere near my too-good-for-him daughter of reproductive capacity since thatâs the exact tale of how I became a single mother in the first place. Or maybe he inherently looks like heâs up to no good? Heâs not sure which angle is more offensive, and which one was more flattering. Well in any case, she entrusted Yuujiâs life to him, despite acknowledging the plausibility of harm, and that means she overall thinks positively of him, right? âŠâŠright?
The first night he met you, it was awkward to say the least. Gojo spends most of his nights performing deadly stunts for middle aged men with potbellies, and most of his days hanging out with a five-year-old (one who heâd argue is his only friend at this point). Sure, heâs got some people he sees occasionally back in his high school hometown when he can brave hearing about how everyoneâs in college now or doing a masters or theyâre working respectable nine-to-five day jobs meanwhile he has to lie to his Pops that heâs been working in insurance for the past two years. Listen, in fairness, he probably makes the same amount of money as an insurance broker would anyways, but he canât exactly own up to the identity of his craft.Â
Anyways, the point is, heâs not used to seeing other people his age anymore. Thereâs the occasional hook-up with girls he hasnât seen since Mrs. Tracyâs homeroom period back in sweet two-thousand-sixteen, or his twice-a-year hangout with Suguru where he only learns the day of where he's visiting from since the guy moves around more than Gojo can keep up with. But save for that, he mostly just sees your mom and then Yuuji.Â
So seeing you standing in the kitchen for the first time when he went to put Yuujiâs half-finished GoGurt back in the fridge was startling to say the least. When the sight of a woman startled him, he knew he needed to start getting out again.
You were on your tiptoes, reaching up to grab at something over the fridge, and wearing these ridiculously short shorts to where he could see the curve of your ass, his line of sight trailing down the skin of your bare legs. He couldnât see anything of your form above your shorts, given you were wearing an extremely baggy t-shirt with NYU on it in big bolded university letters. As far as he knew, you were a senior at NYU, studying psychology, made deanâs list consecutively for the past three years given the way your mother posted all your stellar transcripts up on the fridge (he gets that sheâs proud of her daughter, but doesnât that kind of stuff usually end in grade school?) But other than that, it was all the information he had on you.
âHere,â he said, pressing his front to your back, maybe just to get a feel, as he reached over to you to finally grab the box of cereal you were swatting for, the one that he purposefully placed at the back because Yuuji learned how to climb counters recently. âIs this what you want?â
He had heard you gasp, spinning around on your heel fast, staring up at him with wide eyes like you werenât expecting some random man to be in the house right now, and your first instinct ended up being to grab the knife out of the kitchen knife block and lunge it straight at his torso.
If it wasnât for his boxer reflexes, heâd have ended up at the ER that evening. Or dead. All depending on the strength you could pack into a stab. But instead, he deflected it, though not without a gash to his torso through the fabric of his shirt, one that you spent the rest of the evening profusely apologizing for and eventually mending to with cotton balls and neosporin.Â
âI didnât know you were my little brotherâs babysitter,â you mumbled with a small wince on your face as you dabbed ointment on the wound while he pulled the hem of his shirt up to his shoulder. Heâs never had an injury tended to before. It was nice.
âItâs fine, I get it, totally acceptable response to seeing a random dude in your house.â
He remembers the curl of your eyelashes while you stared down at his bare upper half, something he imprinted on his memory rather than the concern in your face as your fingertips traced the scars across his chest. He hoped they made you feel better about the one you just slashed into him, because after all, what was one more?Â
He knows he shouldnât have, but he kissed you that night. Two minutes before your mom came home, and right after you bid him goodnight with one more apology, he backed you up against the door of your bedroom, his hands on your hips pulling you towards him, and his lips pressed against yours. Something seamless, from candid conversation that was heading towards an end, to full fledged making out against white-painted wood, his teeth nipping at your lip and he wondered just how touch-starved those university boys were leaving you given the desperate way youâd clinged to his shirt for dear life as he deepened the kiss.
The moment only lasted one minute and fifty-seven seconds, and in the remaining three, your motherâs key pushed into the front door and he had to pull away. Always, on the dot, 10PM, she was home. It was how he knew he had two minutes left to make a move in the first place.
So much for no flirting.
6:57pm Gojo Satoru: Bahahah I accidentally forgot where yuujiâs epipen is 6:58pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 6:59pm Gojo Satoru: Turns out this can-o-soup was just covering it in the cabinet
7:01pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): ??? why did you need to find his epipen
7:08pm Gojo Satoru: Oh he accidentally took a bite of my pad thai 7:09pm Gojo Satoru: I freaked cuz I thought it had peanuts in it but I remember I asked for it without any 7:09pm Gojo Satoru: shitâs crazy
7:10pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TEXT ME????????
7:12pm Gojo Satoru: YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT ME TEXTING YOU UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY ?
7:13pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): SATORU YOU THOGHT HE ATE SOMETHING W PEANUTS IN IT AND YOU FORGOT WHERE HIS EPIPEN WAS THATSS A FUCKIGN EMERGENCY
7:15pm Gojo Satoru: THE KID IS DOING FINE HES ALIVE JESUS LEAVE ME ALONE 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: See. heâs chill 7:17pm Gojo Satoru: with intact airways might I add 7:18pm Gojo Satoru: Also isnât he a little too old to still be watching baby sensory videos?
7:20pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): yeah my mom thinks he has adhd :(
7:22pm Gojo Satoru: oh
He tried to keep his word though (although he doesnât recall ever giving it) out of the respect he had for your mom. She was a hard-working lady, single mom of two who went from working three jobs to now being a major administrator at a big law firm near the outskirts of town. It was an underdog story if heâd ever heard one, and he loved an underdog story.Â
But a little texting here and there wouldnât hurt, right? Or so he thought, until you told him to cut it out with the contact. Maybe you were just trying to be the good one in this situation. After all, hooking up with your little brotherâs babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision. Still, heâll eventually get your replies to his which shirt should Yuuji wear to the park? and look, the toothfairy gave him the butt of a joint and a couple thumbtacks for his front tooth. heâs ecstatic texts, although in a less timely manner than before when you werenât trying to preserve propriety. And when youâd occasionally visit every other weekend, heâd do his best to keep his hands in his pockets, and youâd fill up your nights with hangouts with your hometown friends to avoid spending too much time with him at the house. A silent agreement to not fuck each other, it was.Â
4:55pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): send pic of yuuji pls i miss him :(
5:04pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo]
5:08pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): IS THAT BLOOD?!?!?!?!
5:09pm Gojo Satoru: chillllllll itâs fake. Weâre working on his halloween costume
5:09pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): WHY DOES IT HAVE BLOOD?!?!?!?!?!?
5:10pm Gojo Satoru: He wants to be a baby xenomorph and I'm his parasitic host. You know that iconic chestburster scene from the old school alien movies? yeah
5:12pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): satoru please for the love of god just dress him up as a dinosaur or something
5:13pm Gojo Satoru: Iâm not the one that came up with the idea, okay? It was him
5:14pm yuujiâs sis (no flirting): because you let him watch adult swim with you before putting him to bed. youâve deranged his brain.
5:14pm Gojo Satoru: He needs it. Builds character.
Gojo was living a double life, and if someone asked him, heâd say it was less of a Clark Kent way and more of a Bruce Wayne way, although in reality, he knows itâs close to neither. Heâs no superhero with a concealed identity fighting crime, heâs a con artist thatâs tricked a hard-working woman into hiring him just because heâs trying to save up enough money to get the fuck out of this godforsaken town, given heâs not knocked dead before then for the crimeâs amusement.
But Yuuji looks up to him now. And Gojoâs grown attached to him too. He taught the kid how to tie his own shoes and piss inside the actual toilet like a real man. And that kidâs the only thing thatâs made him question any of this. Maybe thatâs what dads feel, suddenly held to all this impossible responsibility and the pressure to stop doing stupid shit so that youâll stick around to see your kids get older. The thought that there are eyes on you now, eyes that are innocent and hopeful and learning, and because they know nothing at all, you feel the responsibility to protect them from everything. For fucks sake, remind him to never become a dad.Â
âDo you like my sister?â Yuuji had asked him out of nowhere one afternoon after he just got home from preschool, stacking a blue cube over a yellow one at the dining table.
âUhh,â Gojo starts. He wondered if your mom had put a wire on the kid, so his answer was as diplomatic as he could manage. âYeah, sheâs cool. Youâve got a cool sister.â
âBut. But.â Yuuji stutters, trying to find his big boy words. He stretches up higher to reach the top of his stack of blocks, but he only has so much arm real estate at the age of five. âDo you like her like you wanna kiss her?â
Gojo grabs the block from the kidâs hand, for a moment questioning Yuujiâs decision to want to put a blue block over another blue block, but he figures aesthetics are the least of a kidâs concern, and so he places the block where Yuuji wanted it.Â
Why does the kid know what kissing is anyway? Do kids know that kind of stuff at that age? Isnât a kiss to a five-year-old just something their mom gives to them before they head off to preschool for the day? And not something that happens between adult men and women? Maybe he should stop watching that adult swim in front of him.
âNo. I donât want to kiss your sister,â he says, again, because he is suspicious of a wire. It was a lie and then some, because he wants to do a lot more than just kiss you.
Gojo lifts the RedBull he was nursing up to his lips and watches Yuuji in the corner of his eye as the kid stares at his growing stack of blocks with a concentrated expression on his face, his chubby fingers squeezing tightly into little round dimpled balls, like heâs putting together all his tiny brain cells together to form another coherent thought before turning to face Gojo on the chair.
âItâs ok. You can kiss her if you wanâed to. You can marry her too,â Yuuji says.
Gojo almost spits out his RedBull. He barely manages to swallow it, a broken cough immediately leaving his throat when some of the liquid goes down the wrong pipe and heâs smacking a fist against his chest to knock the sanity back into himself.
âWhere the fuââŠwhere the flip did that come from?â he asks, blinking back tears from the rasp in his throat.
Yuujiâs small shoulders sulk as he sits back on his heels. âI want a papa.â
Oh fuck that hurt. Jesus christ, there was nothing more sad than that. Yuuji has literally never known what itâs like to have a dad, since his had left before he was even born. Gojoâs not really close to his old man by any means, but he had still been a fatherly figure in some pivotal moments when he had needed it growing up. Kids need their dads. And heâs seen enough people lose their way without one to know that the value of them is really underestimated.
Heâs also kind of shocked that Yuuji really did think of you as his motherly figure. Maybe since it had always just been him and his dad, Gojo learned how to self sustain from a young age, and he and his dad became accustomed to just looking after their own interests to avoid the headache of tending to one another. My land is my land, and your land is yours, and there was the occasional Saturday night spent together with his dadâs millions of beer bottles emptied dry on the carpet in front of the 1992 box TV as the two shared a greasy pizza from the place down the street. That was the extent of family solidarity that he knew.
But he canât imagine being barely eighteen and having to take care of your little brother all by yourself because your mom was too busy trying to put food on the table and was too poor to hire a babysitter. Your mom tried so damn hard to keep you away from the single teenage mother life, but somehow ended up giving it to you by proxy in the end anyway. It was no wonder you wanted space now that Yuujiâs a little older and your mom can afford a babysitter. No matter how much you might love your sibling, being their effective guardian out of pure necessity had to have taken a toll.
Gojo clears his throat before he speaks. âBuddy. If I married your sister, weâd be brothers. I wouldnât be your dad.âÂ
Yuujiâs eyes light up at the word brother. âBrothers? Me and you?â
âYeah. Bros.â
The kid giggles, all bubbly with cheeks rounding fully and eyes sparkling. Gojo reaches out to ruffle at his hair before Yuuji gets down onto one stubby leg at a time from the chair then bolts towards the kitchen.
âJuice!!â he yells somewhere around the corner out of sight.
Gojo sighs, staring at all the toys he pulled out for Yuuji to play with, all left in a scattered mess across the table. He gets up out of his chair and heads towards the fridge. âYeah, yeah. Iâll get you your juice, you little demon.â
The conclusion he comes to, and it might read like an obvious one, is that kids donât really know the reality of life, hence why adults hide so much from them.Â
This is what he thinks of tonight when he wraps his worn out boxing tape around his hands and his wrist, tightening it with his teeth, and he can smell the sweat and grime from them. The back of the underground gym had an old dated locker room, and as Gojo stretches his neck side to side while sitting on the stiff metal bench, he eyes the peeling red paint of the locker in front of him, blurring vision making it look like spilt blood.Â
His phone pings with a text. He shuffles inside his duffle bag to look for it while his other hand scratches at his bare chest.
1:07am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): hhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 1:07am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): omgomgomg sor y iâmÂ
He blinks at the screen, confusion flashing across his face. He types one letter, but then he sees three dots and a speech text bubble in the bottom left, so he waits for you.
1:09am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): i drunk :(
The corner of his mouth ticks up slightly.Â
1:09am Gojo Satoru: Yeah I can tell
1:10am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): at a apartyyyy
His eyebrows raise slightly, the thought of you tipsy on some frat party couch flashing through his mind, yet of all things you could be doing at that frat party, youâre texting him? Must be a really boring party.
1:11am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): whyyy are you aawake?
1:12am Gojo Satoru: Couldnât sleep 1:12am Gojo Satoru: Donât you have a midterm in the morning?
1:14am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): wtf hwo do you knwo that
1:15am Gojo Satoru: Your mom keeps your schedule posted on the fridge
1:15am yuujiâs sister (no flirting): im so fucked;â;(((
He snorts. Heâs got a bit more life experience than you, five-ish years to be exact, more than enough time to master the no-hangover hangout, but just before he can offer you some advice, he sees another text from you.Â
1:16am yuujiâs sister (no flirting): can i tell u smethingÂ
His gaze flits up to the ceiling briefly, and he hears commotion outside the thick walls of the locker room. The previous fight was over, and fast. The guy mustâve been knocked out in under twenty seconds tops, which means that Gojo was next up against whatever superbeast just beat him up.Â
1:17am Gojo Satoru: Sure
He stands up, placing his phone down on the bench before he flexes the muscles in his arms a couple times to get the blood flowing into them. And thereâs the noise of another ping. Actually, four.
1:14am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): sonetimes 1:14am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): i thikn of 1:14am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): when u kisse me 1:14am yuujiâs sis (no flirting): *kissed me
His eyes widen slightly, irises dry to the ashy cigarette smoke from outside lingering in the air, and his heart rate picks up a bit. An adrenaline junkie with close to no fear in his veins due to the way his amygdalaâs been fried to a crisp from years of boxing, yet heâs got his breath hitched from the memory of your soft lips against his. It makes the blood rushing through the muscles of his arms rush somewhere down south instead.
Loud banging on the door of the locker room jolts him out of his trance, and heâs stiff around the edges once more.
âSatoru! Youâre up, man,â he hears Danny, the fight coordinator, yell at him from the other side of the heavy & poorly-installed steel door.
Gojo sighs, glancing down at the texts on his phone. To respond, or not to respond. Youâre off your face, clearly chatty from the alcohol, and he knows for certain youâll regret every life decision youâve ever made once you wake up in the morning and see the self sabotaging behaviors youâve engaged in tonight. He knows that responding to you might put you at ease rather than straight up ignoring you, but the feeling will pass, and he has a match to win with no more room left to stall.
He makes his way out the locker room, pushing past the crowded halls of people underneath dim flashing club lighting, some dudes angrily jerking to face him when he pushes past them with a stiff shoulder, only for their eyes to widen when they see just exactly who pushed them.Â
Thereâs strippers in the ring, doing some routine for pre-match, and Gojo narrows his eyes at the man he sees laying back over the rubber boundary rope, head tipped back up to the ceiling with a wicked grin on his face. So that was his opponent? Heâs never seen the guy before. Was he from a different district? Different district talent was tough, you had no background info on them, while theyâve been preparing to be here for weeks. Hence why boxers tend to do better when they visit a different district than they do in their own. There have been rules made to limit these types of fights, mostly over outrage that it was unfair to bid on them, but they were also usually more entertaining to watch. Gojoâs got a sick feeling to his stomach as the strippers clear the ring.
âHey,â Gojo calls out, grabbing Danny by the back of his collar and dragging him towards him and away from the girls stepping down onto the floor, âwhatâs in for this fight?â
Danny glances up at the ceiling. âTarpâs bettinâ tonight, so it canât be anything less than ten grand for you. Iâd say tops fifteen?â
Gojo narrows his eyes further, then glances off into the ring again. The man stands up, and Gojo gets a better look on his face. Heâs got short hair, neon green in color with a dark fade underneath and tattoos all over his face. But those eyes. They were freakishingly red, and it made him uneasy. He knows the type. The type of boxers that do this to genuinely hurt people for thrill. Make no mistake, Gojo understands heâs made himself out to be like that too, gaining some kind of rush out of this profession, but this type of fighter was different. The type to literally continue smashing a dudeâs face into the floor until theyâre a bloody mess even minutes after the winning call, and no referee to stop it because thatâs the kind of action the spectators wanted.
Danny reads his line of sight. âThatâs Gale. Newtonâs new boxing toy. Came outta nowhere about a month ago. Heâs undefeated so far in his district, and Newton specifically wanted to see you up against him tonight,â Danny tells Gojo, resting his elbow up on his bare shoulder. âChances are heâll compete with Tarp for final bid if you win this one. Iâm talking twenty-five grand in the next if you can knock him out in this.â
âUh-huh,â Gojo acknowledges, rolling his shoulder so Dannyâs elbow falls from it. Forget the money, he just wants to make it out of this alive.
He sets his foot up on the square, ducking through the dividing boundary straps and the tacky caution construction tape that the gym thinks creates an exciting ambience. He hears the static of the speakers as the announcers call out Gojoâs name, then this other guy, loud bass club music booming through Gojoâs chest as he tries to take a few deep breaths through the thick air of this low-ceiling arena.Â
The dim overhead lights flickered, casting shadows over the makeshift ring, and the crowd pressed tight around at every perimeter area, yelling and pushing, one even tosses a beer bottle on the square and it shatters, spreading glass all across, a few shards reaching Gojoâs feet and he looks down at them with a shudder. A fight immediately breaks out in the crowd over something related or possibly entirely unrelated, and heâd have no way of knowing as he swipes the shards away with his heel.
The influential men always sat up on higher seating, off towards the back in their own VIP section where they suck in the smoke of fat cigarettes and peer through 100% tinted sunglasses to assess the boxers theyâve bid thousands on. The light reflects off the golden grills of their teeth with every snarl at any passerby that gets too close, like a lion in its den. Thatâs what the sanction was called. Lionâs den.
Gojo sighed, eyeing the twisted grin of this Gale guy across from him. Was that his real name? Usually, foreign district guys get nicknames. Gojoâs always thought the nicknames were tacky, and heâs accumulated some of his own over the years, but to his ears, none of them ever really landed, although The White Fox admittedly was kinda nice. Reminded him of throwback shooting games.Â
He sucked a breath in through his teeth, holding his hands up in front of his chest in weak fists, storing energy in them in the form of pure anticipation alone, and then the bell rang.
His opponent lunged towards him immediately, fists flying in a barrage of reckless strikes, and Gojoâs eyes momentarily widened in the briefest moments of hesitation he had been allowed before ducking and dodging every one of this guy's shots, then jumping a step back to create distance.
Fuck. He was fast. Not just boxer fast, athlete fast. There was a difference. And it wasnât a good one to be up against.
Gojo picked up light on his feet. He couldnât win this one fast, that much was certain. One single careless or reckless move, and heâll get tackled. He knows that by the malicious look he sees on that guyâs face, grin wide like heâs some cannibalistic beast.Â
Stepping back towards the center, Gojo purposefully set himself up for Gale to swipe a vicious hook towards his head, before Gojo last minute ducked down, crouched to the floor, and swung his leg out to knock the guy off balance by his ankles, and he falls onto his back with a loud thud!
Thereâs a moment of momentary silence from the crowd, right before Gojo put the man in a torso-lock, twisting him in a way a human body should absolutely not be twisted, hearing the grunts of pain and the crack of spine even through the shouts of the crowd.
He can hear it. Kill him! Knock his fucking teeth out! Snap his neck like a goose, man! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM!
He feels like throwing up.Â
Gojo looks up at the referee, who wasnât really a referee, just there to run the clock when there was action and only barely stop it before near death. âThis is enough, right?â he asks.
The referee nods. â1-0, next round.â
Gojo lets go of his opponent, leaving him there to heave for a moment before he gets up onto his feet again. Just needs one more, and heâs a winner. Ten grand in his pocket, and he wonât have to come back here for a couple weeks.
Gale gets up, swiping at the spit that had trickled out the corner of his mouth down to his chin, and he had an enraged look on his face. The second the bell rang for the second round, he exploded forward towards Gojo with even more fervor than before, gritted expression with a thirst for violence fueling the storm of punches he was throwing towards Gojo but he tried to remain calm, light on his feet, swiftly duck and avoid before he can find another opportunity to clear a sharp, clean jab right to the ribsâ
sometimes, i think of when you kissed me
Gojo misses his strike, leaving his guard wide open, and Gale takes the opportunity to land a solid punch straight to his jaw, sending his mouth guard flying straight out of his mouth into the air, and knocking him backwards onto the ground with a thud and then he finds himself staring up at the rusting metal ceiling and a ringing in his ears that almost matches the roar of the crowd.
His head is in a haze, dizzy like where one second could feel like a millennia. He feels a soreness underneath his chin, a pain that radiates to his mouth, and he briefly swipes his tongue over his front teeth to make sure he still has all of them.Â
What the fuck was that? That intrusive thought. Thereâs no intrusive thoughts allowed in life or death situations, not when he was always just one smash to the head away from a permanent concussion. But, fuck, he canât help it. Canât help thinking of you. Even when his vision has gone blurry and he should really be weary about what happens next in this ring, his mindâs just thinking about you, at some frat party, tipping back shots of tequila and waiting for a text-back in response to your tipsy ones. Were you even waiting up on him? Have you already passed out on the couch, or were your friends dragging you back to your dorm? Or are you fucking some other dude right now? Has he got his hand up your top, squeezing at you, sleazily feeling you up before spilling beer all down your shirt, and are you kissing him back with the same enthusiasm, your phone now somewhere long slipped between the cushions of the couch and out of sight?
Even though itâs still sore, he tenses his jaw. Grinds his teeth, even. Tasting blood somewhere along the line of his gums, he realizes his lip is split. He licks at it, the flavor of copper more rich on his tongue, and he clenches his fists tightly. Whyâs he thinking of that right now? It just pisses him off, the thought of you with some other dude. Maybe thatâs what he needs to win this fight. Spite. Although heâs not sure why the guy across from him at the ring has to pay for it.
He lifts his head up off the ground, and while it felt like years he had been down, a glance at the timer tells him itâs only been a solid four seconds. A solid four seconds that his opponent had to fully charge a lunge towards him with the look of death in his face, raising his elbow up into the air in time with his leap, ready to come straight down, and Gojoâs eyes widen at the sight above him from where heâs still lying on the wood.
âShitââ he cusses, rolling his body over to the side so that the dude falls straight down onto the floor rather than elbow Gojo in the fucking ribs, and then he gets back up on his feet.Â
Stakes were high, he has to end this, he has to end this now, and he flexes the muscle in his right bicep, channeling everything he has into this one blow, and before Gale even really has a chance to turn around and face him again, Gojoâs already three-fourths set up a knockout undercut that he drives straight up the guyâs chin, with so much force it has him lifting up off the floor, a vertebrate stretch to his spine before heâs sent flying backwards and slammed against the tight rubber lining of the ring to where he was half hanging over it.
The room fell silent for a split second, then erupted in a roar as the referee fell to one knee beside Gale, checking him for any semblance of consciousness, and when he found none, he waves the match off.Â
Gojoâs eyes flit up towards the lionâs den, the only opinions that he really needed to care about were sitting in those mahogany chairs with glasses of scotch swirling around in their hands, and he sees some of them looking straight at Gojo before leaning towards one another and discretely talking about something he canât make out because he doesnât know how to read lips.
He feels someone tug at his arms from behind, pulling him to crouch down and he balances back on the balls of his feet. He glances down through the ring at the floor. Danny was leaning against the wooden surface of it. âDude. Go.â He jerks his head towards Gale, who still laid there sprawled across the now stretched out rubber perimeter bands. âGo fuck him up. Knock a few more teeth out, I donât know, get some more blood out of him.â
âWhat?â Gojo huffs, yanking his arm away from Dannyâs grip. âThe fuck are you saying?â
âI told you, man, Newtonâs here and heâs got his eye on you. Go give him a show,â Danny says, âdo it.â And when he sees clear frustration on Gojoâs face he sighs. âTwenty-five grand, consider that, will you?â
Gojo sneers at the man, an awful taste in his mouth as he spits blood towards Dannyâs feet. âGo fuck yourself on his cock if he wants a show that bad.â And then he ducks underneath the bands and hops back down onto the floor, pushing past people who were trying to grab at him and pull at him and lift him up and even throw him down until he made it through flashing hallways and back to the locker room.
He shuts the door behind him, sliding the bolt lock into the frame so no one can follow him inside, and then he leans his weight back against the chilling steel before tipping his head back until it hits the surface too.
He lets out of a few deep breaths, then stares down at the sting he finds over his knuckles. Red and blistering from the last punch he delivered, and heâs almost certain he broke a bone in his hand. Fuck. It was bleeding across the cuts, too. He had to figure out a way to get it all healed by tomorrow, as if that was humanly possible, just because he doesnât want Yuuji questioning him about it.
Yuuji. For fucks sake, when has he ever thought about the kid this much? When has he ever thought about much of anything when heâs out here or in the ring? Heâs a babysitter by day. Heâs a âpartâ of your family when the sun is up and normal functioning society is breathing their lives into the clean air. Thatâs it. Heâs no five-year-oldâs caretaker in front of all these primetime drug lords, and he certainly shouldnât be thinking of you when facing big, burly men heâs aiming to rough up, all within the dead hours of night. So then how come these thoughts are on his mind at all times, twenty-four-seven, around the clock?
He heads further into the locker room, glancing down at the bench where heâd left his phone, then picks it up, neck craned all the way down to glance at the screen as he holds his phone by his hip because he doesnât have any energy to pick it up any further towards his eyesight.Â
He sees your messages. You never sent any follow-up ones, just your horrendously typed out sonetimes, i thikn of when u kisse me *kissed me across the span of four texts, and Gojo runs a tired hand down his face.
He tips his head back to groan at the ceiling, guttural with no basis other than a release of all the pent up frustration of every sort, then he types in a couple messages to you,
3:23am Gojo Satoru: Thatâs nice 3:24am Gojo Satoru: I think about fucking you all the timeÂ
âand then tosses his phone into his duffel bag to call it a night.
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
Youâre awoken to your alarm blaring heavily, and you whack your arm across your nightstand table beside your tiny twin-size bed to hit the snooze button, then rub your eye with a loose fist while smacking at the residual taste of alcohol you have on your tongue.Â
âMmâŠâ you mumble to yourself. And then the thirst hits you. The overwhelming, intense, unquenchable thirst that leaves your mouth feeling like the Sahara desert before you grab your twice-dented Hydroflask from the nightstand, twist the cap off and chug about twenty ounces of water in one breath.Â
You let out a deep exhale and fall back into bed, your hand resting on top of your water-filled tummy, and you stare up at the ceiling of your dorm.Â
Last night was horrible. You knew you shouldnât have gone to that frat party, especially given you have an exam inâyou checked the time on your phoneâabout an hour, and an hour was not enough time to recover from the raging hangover headache thatâs pounding through your head. But your roommates insisted you went, and so go you did. You never knew what to expect, always torn between shaving your pussy before you go or throwing on a stained pair of sweatpants to keep the guys away instead. Sometimes, it was a combination of both. But last night, you ended up drinking more than you usually do, and that always led to poor, poor, poor decisions, in which all the sense of pride you had in yourself was washed down with the puke that you hurled into the upstairs toilet.Â
You grab at your phone again, briefly seeing that your friends had sent you some photos from the night. You immediately swiped off to the side to dismiss the notifications, because as far as you were concerned, you never wanted to see those photos in your life.
And then, in the briefest of moments, you saw a familiar name in your notifications that made you heart skip a beat.
Gojo Satoru (yuujiâs babysitter)
With an immediate gasp, you pulled your phone to your chest and held it there, blinking up at the pale yellow ceiling, your heart picking up in rhythm.
Oh fuck.
That was right.
You drunk texted him last night.
You drunk texted your little brotherâs hot babysitter.
Fuck.
Mortified was an understatement, possibly because you donât even remember what you said, and so you donât even want to see what he replied with.
You groan, rubbing both your hands across your face then kick your sheets back with your feet like a child having a temper tantrum because you were so embarrassed you had even texted him at all last night. I mean, he was hot. A little older than you, really gorgeous eyes, tall, and, yeah, you gave him shit for the Instagram muscles thing, but thatâs only because you thought heâd find it cheeky that you were trying to humble him despite the fact that heâs more toned and ruggedly sculpted than any other man youâve ever met. You didnât want to have a flustered schoolgirl attitude because it would just seep through to his ego.
In any case, he was hot, there was no denying it, so can you really blame yourself? But still. There was collateral with this. You had to see him every other weekend. He knows your family, even your extended since they invited him to Thanksgiving dinner a couple weeks ago. A high-risque drunk text recipient if he ever was one (of course he has been, look at that face). Why couldnât you have just drunk texted ECON160 guy from last semester who Clit DJâd you underneath your desk at the back of the lecture hall instead?
The thing that made you nervous about Gojo Satoru was that he was just soâŠconfident? Like, in that I was raised to be this way confident and not that I fought inner demons my whole life to barely end up this way confident, yâknow? Never had to fake it âtil he made it, he just was. At least that was the kind of energy you got from him, and unfortunately for you, it was nerve wracking but enticing all at the same time.
You sigh. âStupid. Stupid. Stuuuuuupiiiiidddddddddddd. You. Are. So. Stuuuuuupiiiiddddddd,â you sigh, running your hands through your hair to grip at the strands.
You pull your phone away from your chest, and finally brave yourself to read the texts from your notifications screen, but not without blurring your vision a little to further stall. And then you finally refocus it to read them. The first one you see has you gaspingâ
3:24am Gojo Satoru (yuujiâs babysitter): I think about fucking you all the timeÂ
It has heat spreading across your cheeks, and you blink at your screen, then quickly swipe up to read the previous messages with rushed glides of your index finger on the screen to see that he had sent it to you in response to your barely coherent texts about how you still so often think about that time he randomly pressed you up against the door of your bedroom to kiss you that night you first met him.
I think about fucking you all the time
At 3 in the morning? He decided to send that text at 3 in the fucking morning? That was the devilâs hour. Whatâs he trying to tell you?Â
Oh come on, youâre not stupid. And you know he isnât either. The sexual tension was palpable, it was there since the day you two met and you almost stabbed him, and also everytime you were visiting the house, and his shoulder brushes against yours when heâs trying to get past you in the kitchen, or when youâve got Yuuji in your arms and the kid is clinging to Gojoâs sleeve because he wants him near him at all times. Thereâs even sexual tension over the phone, in those stupid texts he sends you all the time about meaningless child care stuff, and honestly, those little updates made your day.
But⊠you donât know much about him, and your mom would kill you if she ever found out you wanted him. And sheâd probably pulverize him if she found out he ever made a move on you. Cremated without leaving a trace behind would be an understatement. She thinks heâs no good and she thinks youâre too good. You know sheâs warned him before to not get close to you, as if she was pre-emptively expecting him to try to get in your pants like it was some canon force of the universe, hence why heâs probably so fucking awkward around you whenever sheâs there too. Like if he accidentally got caught staring at your ankles, your mom would light him on fire, so heâd rather not risk it by just avoiding looking at you at all.
Your mom has always been protective of you. Your father was a deadbeat, one she thought she loved, only to watch him leave. And she had to raise a baby all by herself. He re-entered your lives right before you graduated high school, knocked up your mom again with Yuuji, and guess what? Left again without a trace. To be doubly humiliated by a man is a fate you wouldnât wish on any woman, but thatâs exactly what your mom went through. It was a wake-up call for her, though. No more living paycheck to paycheck like you had been your whole lives up until Yuuji was born. The kid doesnât even know how lucky he is with everything he has right now. Your mom worked her way up the corporate ladder and made something of herself and now you guys were comfortable, so it was safe to say she had some sort of right to look after her daughter, of whom she simply doesnât want to follow in the same naive footsteps of her youth.
You get it. She wants to break the generational cycle. But it made being with men tough on all fronts, let alone dating. You could never bring a guy home because heâd never be enough, even if he cured cancer or could make you orgasm while doing a sixty-nine handstand. And while her overbearing paranoia over what you do or where you are or who youâre with has since dimmed slightly since you officially moved out to finish your last year of higher education at NYU, you can still feel her disappointment from a hundred miles away when youâre making out with some random frat guy on his beer-stained couch at eleven AM on a Tuesday.
But you got to college. Youâve already made it this far. Youâre on deanâs list. You graduated high school as salutatorian. Youâre the most highly decorated cello player in the state. You won Miss County pageant when you were sixteen for your philanthropic efforts towards feline leukemia. You did online community college for three years so you could stick back after high school and help your mom raise Yuuji, which meant that you had to forfeit your scholarship to Cornell. Youâve spent your whole life being good, you just wanna be bad for a little bit.
And if bad meant fucking the hot and mysterious babysitter, then so be it.Â
You pick your phone up, begin blasting what the hell by Avril Lavigne on your dorm room bluetooth speaker, then type a message to him that saysâ
10:34am you: do it then
âthen shove your phone under the sheets and belt out the lyrics aaaall my life iâve been good, but now, ahhhh iâm thinkinâ what the hell!!! while kicking your feet and clutching your pillow.
â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«â«
Gojo has no clue what divine entity has overcast their gratuitous spirit over him on this blessed Monday afternoon, but heâll thank them for it later once his balls are empty.Â
Heâs got you on your back, sprawled across the couch in the living room, the first fuck being a rushed one that you offered him with before he has to go pick Yuuji up from circle time at preschool, which wasnât ideal, but heâs delirious at the sight of you underneath him right now. Your little NYU shirt, a tighter one this time, bunched up over your bare breasts, otherwise entirely naked other than the flimsy panties dangling at your ankle, and the view of the tip of his cock looking hot and heavy against the velvet of your cunt, slowly pushing in, feeling the warmth of your walls squeeze around him paired with the sweet moan that leaves your lips, makes him fall forward with a bracing hand dug into the cushion by the side of your head because the sensation feels so fucking good he can hardly keep himself upright.
âFuck, youâre so tight,â he grunts, pushing himself in further to try and bottom out but heâs still got a couple inches he needs you to take, and so you curl your hips upwards towards the cieling to make more room for him, practically putting yourself into a mating press and soon enough heâs balls deep, âyou on any birth control?â
âUh-huh,â you moan, eyes closed and head tipped back with one hand squeezing your own tit.
âI can cum inside then, yeah?â he asks you, pushing your knees to your chest, slowly drawing his hips back and you squirm underneath him.
âLetâs get there first, and then weâll discuss,â you breathe out.
âIâve been there for the past ten minutes, baby. I could cum at any second with the way you look and feel,â he informs you flatly, because it was just the truth and you had to know it, then he feels himself twitch inside, slowly working up to a languid rhythm, almost fearfully like your momâs going to pop out somewhere around the corner with a camera crew ready like one of those retro TV shows just to humiliate him on national television for not keeping it in his pants like sheâd told him to.Â
âHarder,â he hears you whisper, and he rolls his eyes shut to just focus on the feeling. The feeling of your nails grazing down the skin of his chest and his abs, tracing the scars heâs collected over the years, and he feels you tightening around him. He leans down to kiss you, fucking you properly now with the squeak of the couch springs echoing across the room, your hums of moans seeping through his lips until heâs fully taking them on with an open-mouthed kiss of sloppy tongue.Â
The fact that it was wrong felt right to him, and he realizes in this moment heâs lost all sense of control. He wasnât just an adrenaline junkie that liked to rough up dudes, he was an adrenaline junkie that wanted to fuck you against all better judgement or moral compass. The way your tits were bouncing, the slap of skin on skin, his balls slapping against your ass while you wrap your legs around him tighter, all convincing him that any consequence made it worth it.
âGood,â he groans the praise, pinning your hands above your head as he rams his hips against yours, your cute moans and squeals sounding like literal music to his ears and he feels heat spread all the way up his neck, âgoooood, keep squeezinâ me like that, fuck.â He slows down momentarily, just to take a moment and watch, really look and see the way his length disappears inside of your pretty self with every push forward, and then he works back up to a relentless pace that has you tipping your head back with a slack jaw and eyes closed tightly shut, sprained expression of pleasure spread across.
âOh, oh my god, Satoruââ you mewled and he felt dizzy from the sound of his name from your softly parted lips.
âFuck, Iâm gonnaââ His hand finds itâs way between your legs, calloused pads of his fingers brushing against your clit and you jolt underneath him, gasping as your hand shoots out to dig your nails into his bicep for purchase. âIâm gonna cum, better tell me where you want it.â
âIn me,â you moan, ânowhere else.â
He presses his mouth against your cheek in a lazy smile, âAtta girl,â he drawls before pushing your ankles down as far as theyâd go near your ears, folding you in half and then reigns all hell into your cunt. He should really care a bit more about your pleasure, but testing your flexibility like this with both his hands holding you down was doing sinful things to his brain, and besides, you had yourself covered with the messy circles you were rubbing over your clit. It was hot to see that too, your nimble pretty fingers so close to the place where he was pounding into you.Â
âOh shit, shit, shitââ he grunts when starts to see blistering white in his vision, balls straining with a pleasure that was almost painful. The moment he finishes feels like hot flashes in his brain, a heat like the cum he begins to paint inside your walls in time with your release, thrusting over and over and over, each one more staggered as he lets off a long, drawn out groan that comes from deep within his chest with the feeling of you milking him dry and the sound of you enjoying every second of it. He canât remember the last time he came this much or this hard and even after coming down from the high, he feels the remnant pulse of your orgasm around his now half-flaccid dick.
He leisurely pulls out, hearing you let out a soft whimper as he marvels at the sight of his cum slowly dripping out of you and down towards the couch, before he scoops it up with a couple fingers and pushes it back inside. You grip his wrist tightly, but you werenât stopping it, that motion of him plunging it all back into you.
âWant a taste?â he asks, casually.
âMhm,â you nod, face looking flush.
He pulls his fingers out of you, coated with sex, then plugs your pussy with the fingers of his other hand because he kinda likes the idea of you walking around all day with him inside of you, so he doesnât want it getting out. Heâs then pushing his other fingers past your lips, pleased to find heâs met with not even so much as a grazing of teeth, and he grins, âbet you take a dick in your mouth as good as you take it down here.â
Your furrow your brows at him, the pout of your lips seen in the way they were puckered to lick his fingers off clean, and when you release the suction with a smack of your tongue and his fingers were wet from your saliva now, his eyes narrow with desire. You push his face away with the heel of your palm to his forehead. âFlattery wonât make me suck your dick.â
âAlright. So? How is it?â he jerks his chin towards your face, pushing against your hand with his forehead until heâs hovering over you again, âtaste good?â
âItâs cum, Satoru.â
He shrugs. âBad?â
âNo,â you say, and you canât make eye contact, âgood.â You sigh. âHot. I donât know. Salty, sweet. Iâm the sweet. Youâre the salty. And this conversation is obscene.â
He kisses you, capturing your lips softly, tongue darting out to taste whatâs on yours. âI like it that way. Dirty. Nasty. Obscene, whatever.â
Thereâs the slam of a car door heard from the driveway, and the two of you instantly make eye contact with round eyes.
âSaââ you stutter, âSatoru.â
He gets up off the couch in a panic, and heads to the window of the living room fully butt-ass naked, then peers through the blinds to seeâ
Your mom was making it up towards the front door, rustling with her keys in her purse. And the last thing he sees before he turns around to face you is her pushing the keys through the lock.
âShit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,â he cusses, finding his boxers off of the floor, hopping on one foot with his cum & slick coated dick flapping around and slapping against his thighs unceremoniously as he tries to get one leg in through them and then the other. Youâre trembling as you hook your panties back into place, pull your shirt back down your torso, and even in his extremely panicked state, heâs still sad he canât freely stare at your tits anymore. Youâre rummaging for your skirt in a haste, looking everywhere for it, and he finds it underneath the coffee table before tossing it to you and then he side-to-side hops towards the coat closet while he pulls his sweatpants up over his ass, in time for you to quickly run and shut the door of the closet closed just before the front door of the house swings open.
The inside of the coat closet is dark, barely enough space in there for a six-foot-four two-hundred-and-twenty pound man, but itâs better than being balls deep inside his bossâs daughter on the couch when said boss just came home from work.
He hears conversation on the other side of the door, albeit muffled, and he presses his ear to it to hear better while he tucks his dick into his boxers from where it was hanging over the waistline.
âMom! YouâŠyouâre home so early,â he hears you squeak out.
âYes,â your mom says, âThe rest of my meetings today are online, so I figured Iâd come home when thereâs less traffic.â
Gojo feels you lean against the coat closet door.
âI see, I see, how was your day at work?â you ask with a tremble in your voice.
âFine.â And then nothing. The silence could mean that was all she had to say, since your mom wasnât really a woman of many words, or it could be a silence that means sheâs suspicious about something. âDarling, why is your skirt flipped up and tucked into your panties? Your whole butt is showing.â
Through the wood of the door, he hears you softly gasp. âOh, um, I just went to pee. MustâveââŠmustâve got caught when I pulled it back up.âÂ
âI see,â your mother says, and Gojo can hear her dropping her heels down near the shoe rack at the entrance. âYou know, I really donât like those short skirts you wear often. Maybe itâs just your generation, but I think it looks tacky and cheap.â
âMom,â you say, in as stern of a voice as you can manage without sounding embarrassed.
Your mother sighs. âIn any case, where is Satoru? I still would like him to go pick up Yuuji. I donât have the patience to sit in preschool & daycare traffic right now.â
âOh gosh, I donât know,â you chirp, and then he hears you let out a small oh no before you lean even more weight against the door, this time somewhere lower, and he realizes youâre pressing your ass against it. His eyes narrow with a small frown, and then he realizesâ his cum must still be trickling down your thighs. You couldnât put your panties on fast enough.Â
Shit. Thatâs hot. A little fucked up, but hot. He feels his dick harden against the fabric of his boxers, and he rests his forehead against the door, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat as he slips his hands down his sweatpants and then gives his cock a firm squeeze. The thought of you discretely swiping his cum up your inner thigh and smearing it against your thin panties so your mom doesnât catch sight of it dripping down your legs has him slowly working up to a rock-solid erection, and he almost lets out a broken grunt from the feeling.
âWhat?â your mother says, âwhat do you mean you donât know?â
âIâve just been watching TV this whole time,â you say, âlast time I saw himâŠhe wasâŠum, in the backyard pulling weeds?â
He lets out a small scoff through his nose at your cover-up. Cute. And not bad.Â
Your mother sighs loudly, and he glances down at the strained veins on his dick as he tugs it through his hand, the tip rearing and appearing flushed and dripping with precum. God, you were just on the other side of this door. Less than a few inches away, and heâd be inside of you.Â
âIâm going to take a shower. Go find him and tell him to pick up Yuuji soon. But before then, change into something less revealing,â your mother says in a more or less detached tone, and he can hear the stomps of her footsteps up the stairs from above him in the coat closet.
The two of you wait at least a solid minute, and just when the coast is clear, he hears you turn the knob of the coat closet and slowly crack it open.
âOkay, I think sheâs in the shower, I hear the water running,â you whisper at him, âyou can go nowââ You glance down towards his groin, your jaw dropping. âWhatââŠSatoru, why the fuck is your dick staring at me right now?!â you whisper-hiss at him.
He pulls you into the coat closet, pushing your front against the door to where it clicks shut, and you gasp when his hands pin your wrists crossed behind your back and his dick presses into the plush of your ass.
âYou talkinâ to your mom while your pussyâs stuffed full of my cum was the single hottest thing thatâs ever grazed my lizard brain,â he tells you, flipping your skirt up and hooking your panties to the side, his index finger briefly brushing against your entrance to find it still leaking from the way your walls were pulsating from his words. And then he aligns his tip to your entrance. âNow keep quiet while I do this, âkay?â
âOhââ you gasp, your cheek pressed against the door as you arch your back and push your ass out for him, âokayââ you say, barely vocalizing the first syllable before heâs already stuffing himself inside of you with one solid glide of a push, making you yelp loudly and he has to instantly cup a hand over your mouth.
âShhhhhh,â he hisses at you, immediately starting to pound you from behind, âtold you toâ fuuuck,â he catches sight of his length covered with a mix of your glassy arousal and his white cum, now starting to cream at the base of his cock, âjesus christââ he breathes out, squeezing the flesh of your ass harshly with his other hand and you let out another yelp, âI told you to fuckinâ keep quiet.â
âIâmâmff,â you muffle against his palm, âIâm trying but,â your hips move back in time with his, âfeels good, feels too good,â you mewl, and his hand desperately yanks up the fabric of your shirt so he can squeeze at your breast.
âYeah?â he grunts, hypocritical for telling you to keep it down when he was slamming his hips against your ass with so much fervor he wouldnât be surprised if the sound was reverberating across the entire house, âyou like it when I fuck you while your momâs all clueless just up the stairs?â His rhythm falters, feeling his release building, and his hand reaches in front of you to rub your clit, making you drop your head against the door with tightly closed eyes. âGetsâ youâwet, doesnât it?â he torments you, his lips near your ear as he slams his hips against you harshly with every enunciated syllable.Â
âMhm, mhm,â you easily agree, or maybe thatâs because itâs all you can really articulate, and he angles his hips up so his balls slap more fervently against your clit, making you scream into his palm while he picks up the pace of the circles he draws on your clit and in one, two, threeâ beats of his pounding heart, he feels you come undone around his cock, gushing wetness leaking out of you, he can feel the mess of fluids splattering on the skin of his thighs due to each of his heaving thrusts as he cusses out a fuuuuuuckkk before spilling his cum inside of you, a short-lived and thicker release this time that has you mewling from overstimulation, and in a few following thrusts, heâs given you everything he had to give.
His eyes open, he wasnât even aware he had shut them in the first place, and he glances down at where the two of you were joined. Rings of arousal coat the length of his half-pulled-out dick, and the second he retreats all of it, a bulging push of his cum seeps out of you, dripping and pooling all over the hardwood floors.
âHoly shit, I wish I could take a picture of this,â he says, taking a step away to commit the sight to memory, your legs trembling and still slightly spread, ass pushed out and when you wiggle it a little, he lets out a huff of an exhale because he just canât believe how sexy you are. Are all college girls like this? Heâs never been to college, his old manâs been trying to get him to go for years, but maybe this is what finally convinces him.
âNo pics,â you breathe out once you catch your breath, standing up straight slowly, âthatâs my one sex rule.â
He takes a step closer to you, flipping your skirt back over your ass while you shimmy your shirt down to cover your chest. âThatâs the only rule you have? Anything else goes?â he asks.
You spin around to face him, his eyes briefly flitting down to the still exposed skin of your midriff. âI have a feeling Iâd be making up more specific rules if it was with you.â
He smiles, his hands grabbing your hips before pressing you up against the door again. âI also had a rule. It was to not fuck you. Wait, no, to not flirt with you. Which, technically, I didnât do.â
You blink your eyes at him. âYouâre kidding, right?â
âWhat?â he asks, genuinely confused, âI didnât.â
âHuhââ you scoff, âhow do you think we got into this situation in the first place?? You didnât just say wanna fuck? You were insufferably flirty with me.â
âNahhh nah nah nah nah, baby, thatâs not flirting,â he tells you, thumb running circles over your hips, âthatâs, likeââŠI donât even fuckinâ know how it worked on you to be honest, I was just being stupid.â
âOh okay so Iâm stupid.â
âI never said you were stupid?â
âWell you said you were being stupid so me falling for it must mean Iâm stupid.â
âPshhh. Youâre cute. Pulling weeds, by the way? Adorable.â
Your hand slowly roams up the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching at your wrists until you uncovered up to his collar bone, and you stare at his skin. He tries to not let the way his heartâs beating faster show through the heave of his chest.Â
âWhy do you have all these scars, anyway?â you whisper to him.  Â
âToo many girls tryna stab me,â he tells you.
You roll your eyes. âSeriously.â Your thumb traces the one you had left on him.Â
âIââ He stops himself.
Does he tell you? Should he tell you? What, just because heâs seen you naked and you took his dick like a queen heâs supposed to open up to you about these things now? He doesnât know. Maybe he could? Maybe you already suspect what he does at night. And if not, at the very least, Iâm an underground boxer might make you think heâs hot? At the very worst, youâll report him to the cops and heâd get fired as your little brotherâs babysitter then thrown into jail, but not before the busted cartel gets him first.
âMaybe Iâll tell you some other time,â he says, his hand wrapping around your wrist and pulling it from his chest, âno hyper personal details until youâve had my dick in your mouth at least once or twice. Thatâs my one rule.â
You snort. âI couldâve guessed that rule from a mile away.â
He hums. And then thereâs the sound of steps creaking down the stairs above the two of you.
You both make eye contact, eyes widening, internally yelling at each other: how the fuck did we get into this situation twice?!
This time, Gojo opens the door and stumbles out of the closet, leaving you inside of it, just in time for your mom to come down the stairs.
âSatoru. I was looking for you,â she says as she rounds the post. âHave you picked up Yuuji? He has to go for his swimming lessons soon.â
âAh, nope, was just about to head out,â he says, letting out a cough to diffuse tension, âsorry, I wasââ he points his thumb over his shoulder to behind him, ââŠpulling out some gnarly weeds.â
She narrows her eyes at him. âI see. Well, thanks. If you want, I can add a gardening stipend to your paycheck. Let me know.â And heâs not sure how to respond because heâs not sure if sheâs joking.Â
He heads out the door, the keys to your momâs minivan in his palm as he throws them up into the air and catches them a couple times. And just before he gets inside the car, he turns on his heel to face the house and pulls his phone out of his pocket to type in a message for you.
3:22pm Gojo Satoru: Send over those me-specific sex rules soon
.
.
.
[the end]
a/n. hope u enjoyed im shitting bricks posting this bc i haven't posted a oneshot smut since february but thanks so much for reading i appreciate u!! i got way too invested in the whole underground boxer thing đđ but the fact i managed to keep everything under 12k is an accomplishment to me bc if u read my other fics you know iâm a yapper LOL i have another kind of a similarly written smut oneshot n itâs a lil angsty (totally different au tho) iâll probs post that one next but yea i really like, hmm, i really like exploring entire characters within a short amount of time i enjoy writing the obscure lore drops xd itâs been kinda fun so far anywho much loveee hope to see u around! <3
âž masterlist
taglist:
@joemama-2 @erencvlt @pickuptruck01 @hanakotateyama @nuronhe
@beabadobeee @air3922 @timetoletmyimaginationfly @chiyokoemilia @jotarohat
@sirencholia @sorcerersseestars @horisdope @to-dabi @staoru
@aliidarling @ninjaturtletoes @lavender-hvze @lanadelreylover11 @chckn-pi
@satoryaa @gojodickbig @v4mpieres @reinam00n @sleepyyammy
@haikomaiko @tbzzluvr @myahfig4 @arabelluhhh4200 @bloopsstuff
@nat-the-gayass-down-bad-mf @badbclub @blackunecorn @geniejunn @n0tviv
@verystrawberryhottub @iheartshopping @peonysfordayz @dreamsxmerci @aishies-stuff
@milkm4nz @athinasaurus @sashisuslover @welldamnsatoru @aeriiixhh
@crystalymin @dcvilxswish @miakxn @satxoru
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader fluff#jjk gojo#jjk gojo smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader smut#gojo satoru x reader fluff#babysitter au#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru fluff#jjk smut#gojo satoru oneshot smut#gojo satoru oneshot#gojo satoru oneshot fluff#smut#fluff#jjk#jjk oneshot smut#jujutsu kaisen oneshot smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo oneshot smut#jujutsu kaisen fluff#oneshot smut#crack#crack smut#crack fic
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
I love watching bad movies cause then nobody gets mad at me when I talk the whole time and repeat every noise/phrase I find funny and yell about the plot holes and the subtitling mistakes.
#I HATE bad subtitles.#yeah the movie sucked but that doesnât mean the subtitles should too#shoutout to the loon calls that were labeled as an owl hooting that lingered for like 15 sec before and after#all the characters in this movie were so annoying but it worked BECAUSE they were all so annoying#like I would get annoyed if some of them were annoying and the others have to deal with them#but all of them were truly so annoying that I felt bad for no one#except for math girl#shout out to math girl I love you math girl#also shoutout to the lack of romance#those two really just stayed best friends/work partners and I love that#not shoutout to the lack of a high five#I feel like having 2 scenes where the high-five is rejected should lead up to a high five#cause rule of 3 yknow?#I also love yelling at the screen when there are plotholes#there were. SO MANY.#also the villian got hit by WAYY to many vehicles/explosions to die from a piece of metal falling on them#I did like how often she hit him with cars tho that was funny#I didnât like the lack of a training montage or something on how she developed her powers#she just meets the guy and he goes âyou can develop your powersâ and goes ok#and then gets a flight back and has powers#but HOW#DID SHE GET A FLIGHT TO PERU#AS A WANTED CRIMINAL#there was also no wrap up with the#stolen technology or the guyâs assistant???#bonemeal says silly stuff#whoops Iâm 4 tag away from the limit#sorry gang. you donât have to read this. I just canât shut up.#guess what movie I watched.
0 notes
Text
who would believe me if i said this
was my favourite NPC of any game ever? not for anything he does but because i decided he wanted new eyes to get some bitches with his W rizz.
#cowberry thoughts#dark souls 3#corvian settler my beloved#he's like shrimp from that episode of smiling friends#gotta get his ass off Crow Quest 2 so he can get some bitches#why he built like that tho#bro kinda sad looking#homie kinda pitiful core#i'd smoke a blunt with him#but i wouldn't let him roll it#he looks like he would roll a terrible joint#also he's a he/him lesbian#cus i said so#i dont make the rules#except i do#teehee :3c
0 notes
Text
((I really have no idea who this muse is but she just is and she has me by the throat like
Is anything even remotely in character to canon
Who is to say omg))
#ooc#she has exasperated older sister energy and sometimes she is evil idk#sometimes she is nice!! mostly just to auri and astarion tho lmao#shes got some bad blood w leon on account of uh. plotting to murder his family for research purposes-#but also like that still would've been against cazadors rules unless he makes an exception for hilarious shit#violet evil petras dumb and yousen... we know nothing about
1 note
·
View note
Text
Sun and his Good Boy Pointsâą /J
In a few short years, âPizza Boyâ became one of the most popular pizza places, their human like androids making fast deliveries and more profits. As you go to pick up your pizza from the front door, the delivery android seems to be nearly out of power. It asks to recharge before heading out.
#DJMM TOSSING PIZZA DOUGH WITH ALL 6 OF HIS HANDS#OKAY BUT WHAT IF GOOD REVIEWS GIVE THE ANIMATRONICS A SHOT OF ROBOTIC DOPAMINE OR WHATEVER BC FAZCO IS FAZZED UP#you leave Moon his Very First Good Review and he decides he's going to deliver to you specifically forever and ever bc that was Lovely#tbh if you gave any version of Sun a gold star he'd probably never get over it#EVERYTIME HE BRINGS YOU ANOTHER PIZZA HE WANTS ANOTHER GOLD STAR. HE GETS TWO GOLD STARS IN ONE NIGHT AND GOES FLAUNTING AROUND THE PLEX#LIKE HE'S A PEACOCK. THE OTHER HATE WHEN HE GETS A GOLD STAR STICKER BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY UNSHAKEABLE. NOBODY CAN RUIN HIS DAY AFTER THAT#BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY BEEN MADE. HE PUTS HIS COLLECTION OF STARS WHERE HE CAN SEE THEM WHEN HE'S IN HIS LIL HIDEY HOLE.#Moon is already covered in stars so you'd probably have to switch it up and give him heart stickers. he's Normal about it. he's Absolutely#Normal about having a little heart sticker being put on his cheek as a reward for scaring the pants off of you. especially if he's given an#Extra Heart for a particularly frightening performance. tho all it takes is Monty calling him Loverboy because he walked into the plex all#goofy đ„Žđ covered in hearts for him to ask you to put them on his forehead the next time he delivers pizza. he even takes his hat off for#you so he doesn't get Teased. it's as cute as it sounds except for the fact he's Very Tall And Creepy. if you ever ran out of stickers and#kissed his forehead instead he'd actually blow a fuse and be super funny about it for the next week or so. he'd start stealing breadsticks#and leave them at your door like he's a cat giving it's owner a mouse it caught.#Monty isn't about the sticker thing. he thinks it's for babies and dumbasses and he's Neither. he'd probably bend the rules to come eat#some pizza with you if you put an action movie on and had one with lots of meat on it. he's ashamed to admit he tried the thing where he#yawns and stretches out to throw an arm around your shoulder. when the movie ends or god forbid he gets called back to the plex he's Cranky#abt it but doesn't fight. luckily he almost forgets his shades on the way out and guffaws when you hold them out to him outta breath bc you#sprinted to his car to give them back to him. he stops laughing Immediately when you carefully place them on his face and kiss his snoot#and thanking him for the company. when he gets back into the plex everyone can see his tail wagging and the dopey grin on his face. Moon#makes it a point to tease him about it. turnabout is fair play after all. Roxanne doesn't even need to be called to deliver pizza#she just shows up to your house with a box and complains about your movie collection. doesn't stop her from kicking her legs over your lap#and watching them with you tho. she says she doesn't Need any special treatment bc she Already Knows she's the best. she's lying.#the best possible outcome is giving her your hoodie when she leaves 'because it's Cold out.' she'll say it's ugly and walk off with it#anyways but the second she's in her room she's putting it on her huge stuffed Roxanne Plush and holding it and you're Never Getting It Back#she'll say she threw it away but that's simply Not The Case.#long post#bug barks#bug writes#glambots
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
i headcanon that sakura is like... one of those few people with immense control over their body to the point where its kinda scary.
he says all the time to anyone mentioning it that he's good for nothing but his fists and fighting, but i really believe that he's the kind of guy where like... anything he tries to do, he can get good at it and pick it up REALLY quickly. he's an incredibly fast learner (exhibit a, the pre-noroshi training arc) and also has really good control over his physicality (exhibit b, his signature move where he turns a fall into a handstand kick).
the boys in class 1-1 constantly get him to play games and sports with them because of bonding reasons, and sakura always gets uneasy because he never had anyone to play with growing up. so they all kinda have to teach him every sport except it backfires because he always gets CRAZY GOOD at them REALLY EASILY.
basketball? despite the height disadvantage, it takes less than a day for sakura to master dribbling and passes + he's crazy accurate even from the 3 point mark. volleyball? call him hinata shoyo because he has an INSANEEEE vertical for spiking. baseball? a lot of stupid rules to learn and easy to get wrong, but sakura knows his way around a bat for sure. soccer? absolutely massacres the field no survivors left. anzai is crying in the corner. kiryu (goalie) is dead.
and it pisses them off to no end because sakura has NO BUSINESS being good at all these things! its not even that he's instantly great at anything he tries, but rather because he learns INSANELY QUICKLY and can commit a movement to muscle memory within a couple of days. thank god furin doesnt have a sports festival because nirei is absolutely certain that sakura would sweep the floor with the first years and leave no crumbs.
it applies to other things too. one day sakura either stumbles upon or hangs out with shishitoren and he gets the opportunity to ask tomiyama how he did that insane flip against umemiya. hes really shy to ask bc he did go around acting as if he knew how to emulate choji's crazyass acrobatics before promptly eating shit on the asphalt. choji, obviously always wanting to have fun, teaches sakura some moves
"well it's not as easy as it looks, but i can teach you some moves. you're a good fighter already sakura-chan, so i'll give you some harder ones to start with. don't worry if you can't doâ"
sakura nails it in three tries. it's probably one of the top 5 best days of chojis life because it turns into a contest of him busting out a gymnastic trick and trying to see if sakura can replicate it. shishitoren is amazed and confused. togame doesn't know whether to be amused or worried. hiragi winds up getting into their territory just to bring sakura home because if no one intervened sakura would end up joining shishitoren and becoming chojis favorite disciple. it certainly already helps that they have similar fight styles that require insane flexibility, but damn sakura isnt this a bit too much?!@?@
he's still hopeless with technology tho lol. years later and sakura is still horrible at mario kart and can't text for shit. god had to nerf him somehow!
737 notes
·
View notes