#which I know is because the movie is about masculinity and male role models yeah yeah idc methinks Tyler Durden is a demon mental virus

[raviscin]

Movie take: tbh Fight Club's social commentary got kinda lost on me when apparantly every single man on the planet was 100% on board with doing every single thing Tyler told them to because at that point it feels less like "oh my sigma we literally live in a society so true" and more like flat out cosmic horror

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

acne skin care rant:

y’know i think one of the reasons why young men (or maybe just all men in general) don’t look after their skin and still have bad acne in their 20s etc (unless of course they had a dermatologist through their parents health insurance or asked their gp for advice or something)..... is because all the acne skin care brand ads like neutrogena (abbreviated to NG later in this post), clean & clear (c&c), clearasil; biore and hell even pro-activ.... were all largely aimed at young girls/women.

for example, when I was going through high school, and for a little bit of time after that, the face of neutrogena was vanessa hudgens; clean & clear always had female models for their ads, as did clearasil & biore and every other face skin care brand on chemist shelves. like the only thing that I ever saw that was “designed for tough & stubborn acne prone male skin” was oxy 10 acne spot treatment creams; which NEVER had ads on tv. and I only knew of oxy 10 because i bought it to get rid of my awful facial acne and back acne for my year 10 formal/junior prom. creams like oxy 10, when advertised from other brands, were aimed again largely at teen girls and focused on having zit zappers for dates or “prom”. like hell, you could’ve easily slipped a promo for any of these into a fall out boy video and given it to idk patrick stump in the dance, dance music video from 2005 lmao???? or again you could’ve easily marketed a similar cream with pete wentz (sorry for the rock scene thing here lol) or idk jesse mccartney or frankie muniz for a mainstream male celeb at the time, for the male face of any of these brands????

like the only the brand listed above that tried to half-heartedly market to dudes on the tv was pro-activ, where they’d have “reviewers/ real life customers” or whatever in the ads and every so often they’d have a guy saying how “pro-activ changed my life” or some shit. and that it was an “unscented, soap free, medical formula” (or however they phrased it).

that’s the other problem, in a way, with the other brands listed... they all had “feminine” scents like orange and bergamot or whatever, which most guys shun as being “too girly” bc of bullshit toxic masculinity.... like the only “manly” sort of scented face wash I used was neutrogena’s invigorating scrub which was like sea salt or whatever scented.

although neutrogena does have some great neutral smelling/scented facial cleansers and stuff, I’m pretty sure again, that many young teenage guys would shun/shy away from ingredients like witch hazel or orange & bergamot or whatever the fuck else they put into these soaps. all because, lets say, their sister uses/used them, or one of their female friends at school talks about it..... or obviously the face of NG is probs still a woman (like vanessa hudgens, again back when I was in HS) or the face of clearasil is some random female model..... so why on earth would they use something that they perceive as “girly” or “feminine” when there’s no male face to these brands aimed at young male teenagers/young men????

like it’s almost 2020, and I have no idea who the current faces are of the skin care brands that I’ve mentioned in this post..... but for the love of fucking god, can these brands shove Zac Efron or idk Daniel Radcliffe or even micheal b jordan...... or finally some random, popular young male youtuber or whatever into a spokesman/person role..... so that young men will use these products and know how to look after their skin???? like how many young teen boys and young men would latch onto these brands if any of the above guys listed (or maybe even a young male athlete... sadly i don’t know any lmao.... but y’all get my drift yeah??) were a spokesperson for them???? probably a fucking fair few, let’s be real here. like I’m ngl, if I was a dude, and any of those male stars did an acne ad campaign.... I would fucking buy straight into it, right a-fucking-way. sign me the fuck up now, actually. lmao 😂.

because looking back, I knew quite a few dudes in school that had bad skin/general acne, and I’m pretty sure if they’d known about oxy 10 or other male oriented brands for facial/acne skin care.... they would’ve of used those products.... instead of ignoring NG/c&c.... or if NG or c&c werent made to seem like they were solely marketed towards girls/young women (other than pro-activ obvs)... and if these guys not had perceived scents like witch hazel/orange & bergamot/pink grapefruit/green tea as feminine etc., they would have used NG or c&c etc etc etc. to treat their acne, rather than refusing to use the brands.

just learn how to market acne treatments (as well as normal skin care products) to young guys. period!!!!! because there were quite a few more dudes with terrible, persistent acne (meaning cystic acne etc) than girls, like myself, with cystic acne, when I went through high school. and the dudes probs still have no idea how to look after their skin (unless they’re on acne meds from their GP or other medical professionals, like I finally took to using in 2012/2013)..... while I’ve tried nearly every fucking facial skin care/facial acne treatment brand on the chemist shelf; to even luxury sc brands and normal acne meds to curb my cystic acne.... and that was because of all the skin care ads being aimed at young women or because some famous woman like kylie jenner (rip to high school me) or Rihanna recommended a luxury acne sc brand once in an interview, for example (ie. Mario badescu).

just.... acne brands need to learn that their demographics are much bigger than teenage girls/young women concerned about their looks and loving skincare. because boys have bad skin far more often. but male body products, unless we’re talking about lynx Africa or nivea for men aftershave or something; are largely ignored or not even advertised to teen boys or young men struggling with any form of acne. because for some reason, to these brands, male acne doesn’t apparently seem to be an actual thing...

and i think the above is because male acne is usually associated with the creepy loser nerd guy archetype in tv shows/movies; who is always a background character mentioned in passing or whatever.... but facial product companies don’t want to focus on that image at all... instead they want the hunky good looking macho dude who has perfect skin (who ironically probably has no idea how to look after his skin most of the time anyway) who wants to be the centre of attention and is the epitome of male bravado. so the creepy loser nerd guy with acne archetype just doesn’t fit this ad market.... unless they get a makeover to turn into the pinnacle of male bravado by the end of the ad; much like lynx Africa ads always did when I was in high school.

so, to conclude: skincare brands need to learn how to market to teen boys and young men both with acne products and general skincare products, much more often. because then more people in this age demographic would know how to look after their skin and know how to treat skin problems like acne with more serious care than what they might do.

anyway here’s another rant.

[caughtupinbetween]

Still All Wrong: Looking Too Much Into This

I know my posts are like journal entries, and I’m sorry that this blog is just me, essentially, venting that I have no idea of who I am or what I’m doing. Anyway, that’s what brings me to this. Right now, I’m listening to a lot of rap music, as I write this. I felt kinda in-between, all day. I was just kind of tired. I couldn’t get out of bed to eat until maybe 2 or 3 in the afternoon. I snacked on some things, like the mini bag of Doritos and Cheetos. Some Pepridge (however the hell it’s spelled) Farm cookies. But I just didn’t want to do anything but sleep. When I was finally awake enough, I wanted to write a story. But all of my creativity and my passion for writing anything just...disappeared.

At this point, nothing is going to make sense unless I explain some things about me. I’ve struggled with Dissociative Identity Disorder since I was a child. I almost died, when I was really young. I was neglected throughout my childhood. When I wasn’t being neglected, I was physically abused by my older sibling. Every time I said or did something they deemed to be “stupid,” they’d hit me. My first suicide attempt, they kicked the shit out of me for being “an idiot,” for being “selfish.” The reason I bring that up is because the stress of being (quite literally) unable to do something I love to do brought me to a bad place. I was struggling while talking to some of my alters about what I’m doing to do, since I can’t write anything. One of them happens to be more like a fragment, and he is the bane of the entire disorder, for me. In a...trapped, dissociative state, I saw this fragment do something to me that I didn’t want him to do. It’s also very hard because he has the likeness of one of my best friends, someone I genuinely have a sense of love for. But this alter is somewhere between a persecutor and an abuser. He knows all of our flaws, despite being a fragment who has never fronted. He knows our weak spots. This fragment decided to taunt me about what had happened. I didn’t want this to come out, since I know how much criticism I might get for it, but Johnny is also an alter. Johnny and his family. By taunting me, this fragment (which I won’t name, since he also bears the name of my best friend) torments Johnny, who found me after it had happened. Stephen, being more of the...male head of the house, handled it, since I wasn’t mentally in a place to do it myself. But I had a flux, after that. I went to shower, since I couldn’t stand the things that had been said. When I went to grab my soaps (I have two sets: one feminine, one masculine) and my clothes, I opted for my Dominik stuff. I know it doesn’t change how the alters see me, but it gave me a sense of peace. I relaxed. I just didn’t wanna go back to sleep.

Which, then, fucked with my head. There’s something in my head that tries to tell me that maybe I’m faking being gender fluid. Maybe it’s all in my head. And there’s another part of me that tries to argue that I’m using gender fluidity to run away from my fears and my past. That’s also the part of me that says, “Do you really wanna add this to the list of problems you have?” So I’m starting to doubt myself. Even though I wore a dress, over the weekend, and I felt wrong. Physically and mentally wrong. I felt like I didn’t belong in dresses and makeup, the way I was. It’s not as if I felt like I can never be in those things. It was just that moment. Other times, I feel right in those things. It’s even worse because there’s pictures of me in that dress and the makeup. I did my own makeup, that day. I just didn’t like how it felt on my face. I get that way as Dominik. I wanna contour my face to look more like a guy (I hate my face. I don’t like the shape. My mother tells me I will always look like a woman because of my face, especially the shape of my lips), but I can’t stand the way makeup feels, when I flux. I grew up feeling like I was different people (Yeah, I know I was, given the DID, but this is different. Keep reading). On one hand, I wanted to grow up to wear makeup, high heels, and dresses. I grew up playing with dolls, watching Disney Princess films. On the other hand, though, I also grew up with a certain way of speaking. I was “obnoxious” for a girl. I didn’t like spending time with other girls my age. I idolized male movie stars for the clothes they wore, their behaviors, the way they looked. I wanted to be like them, too. That’s when I started to notice I liked guys and girls. I figured that out with Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance. I liked the way he looked during the Revenge era. I had the biggest crush on him, actually. But there was also something that tugged at me. I wanted to be like him. I wanted to be the way the members of My Chem were. I wanted to wear the clothes they did. I wanted to wear the suits they wore in the “Helena” video. I wanted to be allowed to behave like them. Like a guy. I also thought that Helena’s dress was beautiful, and I wanted to dress like that, too. But I couldn’t shake off that I saw Gerard Way as a role model. When he opened up about his gender identity, I cried. I came out to my sister about my androgyny, that same year. 

Still, I have this nagging doubt, this thought that I’m lying to myself. But when I mentally picture that question, I get more depressed. I feel like if this isn’t me, then I don’t know who I am. When I try to imagine removing this part of my life, I don’t know who I am. I feel lost. I feel like I, as a whole person, don’t exist. I feel like I would be erasing myself, completely. But when I try to imagine not removing this part of me, I still feel like I don’t really know who I am. Just to a much lesser extent. It’s more like I don’t fully understand, or as if I haven’t fully explored being me, as Dominik. Which I can accept, given that I haven’t embraced being Dominik for even a full year. I don’t know, though. This is part of what’s been depressing me, all day. I hate it. I don’t know what to do. This is also why a lot of my posts are like journal entries. By doing this, I keep hoping that someone out there hears me. This is my way of seeking help, some guidance, at this point in the journey. So, if there’s anyone out there who knows this struggle...please. I’m calling out for help. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

I've seen a popular post on tumblr saying "I'm done with the female villain using seduction to get what she wants,and the male one using violence to the same end. How about we gender flip that shit - the guy charms someone,and the girl threatens to throw the poor victim off of a building?" or anything alike. I totally agreed with them,and my mind went to Drew Tanaka and Luke Castellan. Okay,Drew is a daughter of Aphrodite(goddess of beauty and love),and Luke's a terrific warrior.

Cont. However,that post fits their canon MO’s perfectly, IMO. In The Lost Hero,Drew used intimidation and fear to have people doing whatever she wanted,and was described as having cold,piercing eyes. Luke,while being a badass warrior and a big guy,his biggest assets are his looks and charisma. Silena is an example,and perhaps Kronos chose Luke as his second because he was well-liked. Even Drew being Aphrodite child makes a plus to me,since it makes her half-sister to Deimos and Phobos… ☆

i can agree with you on luke, and somewhat on drew, anon

and i can agree with that sentiment, as well. but also, tbh i think the sentiment is a little surface level, but that’s a whole other beast that i won’t address, bc that’s not really what this post is gonna be abt. and let me be clear, there’s nothing wrong with it being surface level

so luke, we’re good. i think kronos picked luke bc the titan knew that luke was, in fact, very good-looking. even with the scar. and even tho i do think luke had to actually work to charm ppl, he still could. not to mention both annabeth and percy had crushes on him (no one describes another guy like percy did luke unless they have at least a lil bit of a crush on the guy, fite me)

annabeth, of course, had deeper ties

but man, percy sees luke and right off the bat, despite being a little off-put by the scar, percy continues to describe luke is very pleasing terms (for the lack of a better word). even when he knew luke was evil, in som percy calls him an evil male model,,, so like...i’m just saying

anyway

the bonus with luke is that he’s a great warrior--best swordsman in the last three centuries. that’s a high title

drew, on the other hand, i can only half agree with. while i’m glad that rick didn’t go that “sexual” route with her just seducing people to get them to do her bidding, i don’t know that she’s entirely in the “girl threatens to throw someone off the side of the building” class either

for one, it is implied that drew has seduced ppl in order to break their hearts, which is fine. not like, morally fine, but in the sense that it’s okay to age-appropriately have drew “seduce” ppl for her own gains as a character in general. i’m kinda going for “let’s not slut-shame ppl” energy here, which is why i say age-appropriate and put seduce in quotes. so i hope that makes sense

for two, i wouldn’t necessarily be afraid of drew talking me into walking off a cliff or smth. lbr i can’t say how much i’d be affected by charmspeak in general, but we know that charmspeak works better when you’re attracted (or at least find the person aesthetically pleasing) to the person and when what they’re saying is smth they already believe. the magnitude of how well it works probably depends on how much they believe whatever the charmspeaker is telling them/trying to convince them of. with drew, it’s hard to tell her limits, following what we do know from piper, since ppl were scared of her. idk how hard she’s have to try if ppl feared her. it seems like it’d be harder? but that’s a tangent

for three, i also do think her being a child of aphrodite does automatically pull her toward “seduce enemy” territory. now, as you know from previous posts, i want to abolish the stereotype that love only means romantica/sexual love and beauty only means some arbitrary western standards of “““““beauty””””” but it is important to remember that stereotypes are automatic and prevalent responses to things, so it does communicate some of age-appropriate “seduction” on drew’s part

when i read, “girl threatens to throw someone off the side of a building,” i think of the scene in...i think it was the first avengers movie? when cap and black widow are on the roof of a building and the guy they’re--jk, it was the winter soldier, wasn’t it--threatening is like, “you’d never do it cap” and cap is like, “yeah, but she will” and black widow just fucking punts him right off the side of a building without a second thought

drew’s in a grey area between “seduce the villain” and “throw villain off the side of a building” bc she’s not using age-appropriate “seduction” most of the time, and it’s obvious she’s instilled quite a lot of fear in the campers at chb, so i’m not denying that

now am i saying that she has to be physically violent to fit “throw villain off the side of a building?” not at all. and you could def argue that her manipulation is violent in a sense that it’s abusive

but i wouldn’t say you can equate it to the outright violence that men often show in media (which has a lot to do with toxic masculinity, but again, tangent). so, she’s probably closer to “throw villain off the side of a building” but still in that grey area, not to mention her being a child of aphrodite and the stereotypes involved are also pulling her toward the “seduce villain” side

however, i do think if rick made her totally “throw villain off the side of a building,” even with just her charmspeak, we’d be straying into her being a true-true villain territory (she’s definitely an antagonist and not nice, at all in hoo; but like we’re talking the kind of monster that would goad someone into killing themselves). and while it’d be interesting to have a child of aphrodite, who’s a woman, be the antagonist and/or villain would have been dynamic and very interesting, there’s quite a lot to unpack and juggle with if we kept drew as drew and just put her into an antagonist and/or villain role (for example, her being japanese)

that’s all i can think of to say at the moment. thanks for your patience on this. i’m on break, but i’m also working on my thesis p much nonstop so i can propose finals week (wheee)

it’s late here, so i man not be entirely cognizant, but here’s what i got for ya

thanks for sending this in!!

FEED ME SEYMOUR

[cosmoseinfeld]

Rebel without a cause, anyone?

I am a huge James Dean fan & a huge fan of the movie “Rebel without a cause” for many reasons (Jimmy only being one of them).

You know, the movie from the 50s? That’s about emancipation and breaking free. The movie that’s rife with queer undertones and subtext, had a queer cast & crew (Sal Mineo, James Dean, director Nicholas Ray…) and “is bathed in a gorgeously gay, Cinemascopic light”?

“Rebel actually offers a very interesting examination of masculinity that was perhaps ahead of its time. Without a strong male role model, Jim feels inadequate and flies off the handle whenever he gets called a “chicken” — that is, when anyone questions his masculinity."

(source)

Why am I talking about this? Well, because THIS scene from 13x16 rang a big bell:

Why, you ask? Because of the famous “chicken-run” drag race that went down in Rebel. But let’s not go there, yet. Let’s take a look at the events that lead to the chicken-run in the movie.

Okay, so we have Jim Stark (“the new guy”) on the left and we have “Mr Pompous” Buzz Gunderson on the right. To break it down, there is a bit of an “antagonist to lovers” trope going on here:

This fight scene eventually leads to Buzz challenging Jim to a drag race:

Jim:       Where can we meet? Buzz:     Know the Millertown bluff? Cookie: The bluff, Buzz! That's dangerous up there. Buzz:     Draw him a picture, Chicken Little. Eight o'clock. Cookie, you call                  Moose and get a couple cars. We're going to have us some real              kicks. Little chickie-run. You been on chickie-runs before? Jim:       Sure - that's all I do.

(nevermind that we have a Moose here) Cut to the night of the race. Here comes the “… to lovers” – it’s beautiful, just watch this wonderful kiss by proxy:

(source)

Oh, the UST... Not complete without the dialogue:

Two shot. JIM and BUZZ. JIM is staring below. He is beginning to perspire. He lights a cigarette. Without taking his hand from JIM's shoulder, BUZZ borrows the cigarette from his lips, takes a drag and hands it back. JIM takes another puff then tosses it into the abyss.

Buzz: (quietly) This is the edge, boy. This is the end. Jim:    Yeah Buzz:  I like you, you know? Jim:    Buzz?  What are we doing this for? Buzz: (still quiet) We got to do something. Don't we? 

Long shot. JIM and BUZZ with PLATO in f.g. JIM and BUZZ appear to him as two close friends. Suddenly they break and go, without speaking further, to their cars. They back up to the opposite end of the plateau, headlights dark.  PLATO follows them with his gaze.

(Sidebar: I can never read or hear the word “gaze” platonically because of this:)

I am really holding myself back here because there is so much in this movie. But I am just gonna throw some more stuff at you and let you make up your own mind:

Judy (the girl in green) is Buzz’ girlfriend (look at that beautiful ascot) but there is also a little something between Jim & Judy (which grows as the movie continues):

But we all know, the real love story is between the two of them:

“Plato is obviously gay. Inarguably one of the most blatant homosexual characterizations of the Hays era, the Motion Picture Production Code office made sure to send a memo to Warner Bros. head Jack Warner, warning him against “inference of a questionable or homosexual relationship between Plato and Jim.”

(source)

Just do yourselves a favour and google “Sal Mineo and James Dean”… *sigh*

Anyway, I am digressing. There are also COLOURS (just focusing on those that screamed “13x16!” at me, immediately:

(and mind you: a lot of the gay stuff is happening at that planetarium)

I conclude: Yes, 13x16 did indeed have a lot of queer subtext.

(rebel screenshots, rebel script)

@postmodernmulticoloredcloak @deletingpoint @dimples-of-discontent @naruhearts @sactownbrowns3 @elizabethrobertajones @mittensmorgul @bluestar86 @tinkdw @margarittet @weathergirl83 @amwritingmeta @magnificent-winged-beast @thejabberwock and whoever else wants to read and comment :)

[unschoolhome]

I’m Freaking Out That My Daughter Might Be Transgender

“I want to be a boy when I grow up. I want to be a boy. I like boys better than girls.” Always choosing to be a male character when playing a game. Wanting to be a daddy, not a mommy. Choosing boys to play with and eschewing all girls as playmates. Loving football and sports. Wearing boys’ clothing, including swim trunks instead of a girls’ bathing suit. No interest in dolls.

I could attribute many of these things to other causes: she’s never played with or been around other girls, she emulates her older brothers and her dad, whom she adores, she’s athletic, I'm not exactly a feminine role model, she basically has never seen or been around make-up, dresses, all that stuff. Much of this is a pure result of pandemic living. In an effort to avoid the dreaded princess syndrome, I’ve purposely offered her gender-neutral or more masculine choices for shoes, clothes, toys. She's in a boy world (and a big boy world at that) and of course she wants nothing more than to fit in. And of course, we’ve hinted that she might choose girl things once in a while, which means she will cling more tightly than ever to the opposite (the resistance is strong in this one...).

Her femininity is subversive, at best. She loves to play adopting an orphan animal and giving it a home and food. Her games are friendly and kind rather than rude and rough (selling pizza from a shop, not blowing up the shop, or robbers, for instance). Today she perked up when Y referred to his toy car as “she.” 

I admonished him for referring to a thing we use as a girl. The light in Z’s eyes died. Was she pleased to see a feminine pronoun attached to something so high value in her brothers’ world? Should I not have corrected the misogynistic use of the feminine to describe an object that is used by males? 

I’m so confused.

Children look for reflections of themselves. She wants to be important in our family world. She told her doctor that Jurassic Park is her favorite thing to play - she has never seen the movie and is mostly unaware of the storyline but her brothers will include her in dinosaur chase games, so that makes it tops. She has an uncanny sense of what they think is cool and adheres to that like a religion. If not for her brothers, would she be eager to go to classic car shows, or insist on owning an RC car, for instance? She certainly wouldn’t want a Professor Snape-themed birthday party at age four.

Who is Z without her brothers around?

At this age, I wondered the same about X and Y. They were never ever apart and so entrenched in their roles with each other that I lamented they would never be able to exist outside their own little dimension. (I also was terrified that X was a sociopath - but really. He used to tell me that his mind was telling him to do bad things. Also I worried that he might be gay. Jury’s still out there, but I’m less worried about it now.)

Officially, I’m totally accepting of whoever my kids are. 

Inside, I’m a mess. 

If my daughter is transgender, I will experience a deep sense of loss and sorrow. First because of my expectations and loving preparations about raising a girl into a woman, and how that experience would be for me, and second because I love being female and would feel so rejected that she doesn’t want to share that. I would be the only girl in our family. And finally because that perfect body that I carried inside of me and nurtured and think is absolutely perfect would be rejected by her also, and I would never get to know, intimately like I do now, her new male body, so in some ways, she would be a stranger. For any of my kids to not love their bodies...it truly guts me.

We chose her name with such love and care. Would she take that from me too? The privilege of naming her?

Yeah, it boils down to rejection and abandonment. My therapist would not be surprised!!

Selfish reasons. Still real.

I’ve been learning that things I panic over at midnight are rarely dire in the morning. Writing helps me see it all and process. But damn, the fear is thick tonight. I don’t know what it is about this strong-willed, independent, brighter-than-a-flame child, but I fear losing her with a strength that turns my bones to liquid. I look and look at her face, trying to memorize it, wondering if I’ve ever seen her, if I know what she looks like. I think about how badly I wanted her and how I held this silent vigil for her life ever second she was inside of me, pushing back floodgates of grief and fear, trying to keep them away from her until I could bring her to safety. My little daughter. Will we have camaraderie if you change? 

Will we have camaraderie if I don’t?

Edited to add: post freak-out thoughts

1. Z called a good friend who is a girl “like a brother” today, meaning she feels close to her. She knows this girl is a girl, but brother/boy = cool, close, someone to emulate. She has no concept of sister, girl, female. This is fine.

2. If she was a boy, what would I do differently at age four? Absolutely nothing. Literally nothing would be different.

3. All her life, I have subtly steered her away from pink, purple, princess, girly things because I don’t want her to feel boxed in by those options, to see female as only this one way. I probably haven't given her much variety of choice, but have basically raised her as gender-neutral with a slight bias toward male. She is living what she has learned.

[chestnutpost]

Glenn Beck’s Suggestion Trump Is 1 Of The Last Male Role Models Doesn’t Go Well

This post was originally published on this site

Right-wing talk show host Glenn Beck lamented the world’s lack of male role models and appeared to suggest that the void was now being filled by President Donald Trump.

Beck on BlazeTV this week bemoaned how there were “no examples of men being men” during a discussion about masculinity. He continued:

“James Bond. That’s it. A movie. There’s no male role models. Would you agree with that? So, Donald Trump, here’s a guy who marries a supermodel, is like, ‘Yeah, I can make it with any model I want.’ He’s over the top, but he fights back, he doesn’t flinch. He is the almost cartoon of an alpha dog. You know what I mean? And I think because we have taken alpha dogs and shot them all, when he comes to the table there’s a lot of guys that are out there going ‘yeah, damn right!’

I feel like Glenn beck explaining in earnest why trump is one of the last “male role models” does more to highlight how ridiculous our perceptions of gender norms are than any liberal take on toxic masculinity lol thanks Glenn https://t.co/BQoLcJLc9q pic.twitter.com/h5d3GRDDsN

— Robbie Couch (@robbie_couch) March 6, 2019

I see Glenn Beck’s efforts to reinvent himself as a never-Trump woke conservative are going swimmingly. https://t.co/AVyFJ4buO9

— The Unbearable Lightness Being (@veryrealbatman) March 6, 2019

.@glennbeck heard your comments about Trump being the “last male role model”. Trump is the epitome of toxic masculinity, which btw is not synonymous with plain old masculinity. There are lots of good male role models. Trump is the antithesis of that, and a warning to our youth.

— therealtm (@realtmell) March 6, 2019

If being an utterly dishonest, proudly ignorant, off the charts narcissistic bully is a role model for men, then sure, Donald Trump is a role model.@glennbeck, Donald Trump is NO role model. Gosh, I hope you understand that. https://t.co/OkrK8Io8kS

— Joe Walsh (@WalshFreedom) March 7, 2019

When I think about whose opinion I value on the topic of “male role models”, Glenn Beck is right up there with the Catholic church for me. https://t.co/2jFjx0J1Tn

— larry dimaio (@larrydimaio) March 6, 2019

Hey @glennbeck are you high? Role models don’t brag about grabbing women’s genitals, lie 22 times a day as a POTUS, stoke racial animus, cozy up to murderous dictators, rant and rave against accountability, insult the media, cheat on all his wives, and pay off mistresses.

— Josh Stack (@JoshuaKStack) March 6, 2019

Modeling ourselves after so-called “tough guys” got us mass shootings, #MeToo and a fascist administration. Maybe what the world needs now is fewer male role models.

Glenn Beck: Donald Trump Is the Last Male Role Model https://t.co/ZPh7zZy35Z

— ceartas (@ceartas) March 6, 2019

The post Glenn Beck’s Suggestion Trump Is 1 Of The Last Male Role Models Doesn’t Go Well appeared first on The Chestnut Post.

from The Chestnut Post https://thechestnutpost.com/news/glenn-becks-suggestion-trump-is-1-of-the-last-male-role-models-doesnt-go-well/

[bitchflicksreviewbyalanna-blog]

ABC’S “Fresh Off the Boat” and the Masculinity of Asian Men

 I identify as an Asian-American woman. I am the eldest daughter of first generation immigrants, which means I am the first in my family to be born and raised in “The Greatest Country on Earth”: The United States of America. Growing up, not only have I been told to go back to go back to my own county, spat on, bowed to with a “Konnichiwa”, and have been fetishized to be your sexy oriental schoolgirl because I am Asian but I have been cat-called, told to put on more clothes, told to wear less make-up, and told I am too stupid and deemed too incompetent for a task because I am a young woman. Yeah, I know. It’s AS IF I didn’t already have it hard enough from my *Asian* parents and their *Asian* expectations.

Anyways, you get it. I’m Asian and I’m a woman. And although I consider myself lucky to be so privileged, life is tough and I could go on and on about my experiences growing up in America. But enough of me because I’m here to talk about Asian men.

The only two Asian male role models I had growing up were my dad and (yes, you guessed it) my very own grandpa. Why is this you may ask? Well, when you picture your standard male superhero or lead role superstar hunk, who do you see? Not too many Asians? Well, don’t worry. That’s not your fault. As we all may know from media, Asian men are either oriental foreigners who have micro-penises or are super geeky nerds who have absolutely zero game with chicks or all the above. Because of this, Asian men have rarely ever been the ideal type of guy a girl would want to date. This exact factor is predominantly why many of my Asian male friends have had self-esteem issues from never being “good enough” in the eyes of their love interests.

Thus, from these stereotypes and generalizations, one fact stands strong amongst the Asian-American community: Asians are misrepresented and underrepresented in Hollywood. We are known as the socially awkward Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles and as Me Love You Long Time from Full Metal Jacket. We have had white individuals being cast for roles meant to be played by Asians and have had predominantly white individuals paint themselves to represent an Asian character. Slowly, however, the Long Duk Dong mentally is changing and the film industries are tackling social justice issues head on.

I essentially wanted to bring all of this up because I recently started watching ABC Channel’s Fresh Off the Boat, a sitcom based off writer Eddie Huang’s memoir about him and his Chinese family’s experience with moving to suburban Orlando, Florida. When this show initially came out in 2015, I was completely psyched out. It was the first time I’ve ever seen so many Asians together on one American TV show. Finally, we were being represented. For the first time, I even thought I had a chance at Hollywood.  

To get a better idea about the vibes of the show, here is the trailer:

I remember watching the first two episodes on TV when they first aired on ABC with my dad. Personally, I thought they were wonderfully constructed because of the well-written plot amd the immense level of relatability. My dad, on the other hand, thought differently. My dad is in his late 50s and lived in America for about 30 years now. I’ve heard quite the fair share of stories about racism and acts of prejudice geared towards my dad because of the way he looks. Therefore, he felt that the show only highlighted the discriminatory remarks and that “some things are better left unsaid”. I, of course, tried explaining to him that Asians have always been the silent minority and that if we never say anything, nothing will ever change. We can’t continue keeping our head in the books and being pushed around like the cliché nerd in movies who gets forced to do someone’s homework “or else” (he meets a fist). I truly thought Eddie Huang had created the start of something for us. But by no means is this show perfect, especially when the executive producers continued to produce a show that was entirely different from Huang’s original vision.

In Season 1, Episode 3, “The Shunning”, young Eddie Huang is desperate to fit in with the popular white American boys at school. Not only does he get ridiculed for bringing Chinese cuisine to lunch, but he also struggles to gain popularity to make friends and impress the girls. Accepting the fact that he is unable to afford a pair of Jordan sneakers, he comes up with a new idea to integrate himself into the cliques at school and “change the way the kids at school saw” him. 

Here’s a clip from the episode that I will be viewing through a hegemonic masculinity lens: 

Eddie’s role model and inspiration for his version of ideal masculinity isn’t his own father, but it is Ol’ DB. Ol’ DB is Eddie’s adored rapper whose lifestyle of fame, fortune, and access to limitless women inspires Eddie to be just like him in order to fit in with the other boys at school. In Eddie’s fantasy, he imagines himself in one of Ol’ DB’s rap videos. There’s cash flying everywhere, expensive cars and jewelry, and women—a ton of women dancing seductively and wearing revealing clothing. The moment an attractive black woman steps out of a car, Eddie has quite the epiphany: “That’s it. A hot girl was the ultimate status symbol”. In order to gain a higher status of masculinity, he suddenly alters his idea of women. No longer are they seen as women, but they are now considered “symbols” and objects because even if he didn’t have Jordans, as long as he had a “fine shorty on [his] arm”, nothing else would matter.

According to our MACS 356 lectures on Normative Masculinity, Eddie’s fantasy would fall under the umbrella of “toxic masculinity”, which to reiterate, does not mean that men are toxic. Instead, toxic masculinity is the idea that society has these expectations as to how “real men” should or should not behave. Because emasculation is a huge no-no when it comes to being a “real man”, Eddie’s fantasy portrays women as just objects, using them to gain popularity amongst the white boys at school. Without even realizing it, young Eddie put women in a lower hierarchy than men, which would make it easy to manipulate women if he were rich and powerful like Ol’ DB. He created a totem pole mentality where men are superior to women and thus, being a man and impressing his white male friends at school doesn’t seem as hard anymore when he has the ladies wrapped around his fingers.

However, male privilege is not just based on gender and it is especially clear in Eddie’s case in this single episode. When examining male privilege, the idea of intersectionality plays a huge role in a man’s rise to success. In this episode, Eddie’s gender is not the only thing that keeps him from fitting in. Like I mentioned earlier, Eddie gets shunned at the lunch table for eating Chinese food prepared by his parents. When he pulls out his noodle lunch, the boys around the table cover their noses and exclaim, “Ew what is that?”, “Get that outta here”, and “Ying Ming is eating worms!” This ends up in him announcing to his family at the dinner table: “I need white people lunch”. This is an example of a concept known as “white-washing”. White-washing is essentially this belief that an individual is willing to neglect and abandon their culture to assimilate to white, western culture. Eddie felt the strong urgency to “white-wash” himself after his bad lunch experience because he wanted to completely get rid of his Chinese roots by removing a huge part of what makes a culture unique: one’s cuisine. 

If we had more movies and TV shows with Asian male lead roles, perhaps white washing and Asian male insecurity wouldn’t be such an issue. Eddie’s experience of being rejected at the lunch table because of his Chinese meal is not unheard of. In fact, it even happened to me when I attended a predominantly white suburban high school. In my freshman year of high school, there was a boy who teased me for a whole week by asking me if I liked the dog meat I ate at lunch. He didn’t stop teasing me until I finally mustered enough courage to call him out on his ignorance.

I believe that ignorance is more likely to occur when there is not enough proper exposure and education of different cultures. If we had more Asian lead roles in general, people wouldn’t stereotypically view us as just “chinks” who are good at math. Asian male representation is needed not only for young Asian boys, but for young Asian girls to realize that the men in their lives aren’t just men who get pushed around and bullied. If I had the examples of strong Asian male lead roles (Steven Yuen from “The Walking Dead”, Aziz Ansari from “Master of None”, and Vincent Rodriguez III from “My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) that we have today, I probably would have had more courage to stand up for myself as a young girl against racist remarks from my American peers. Now, I can only have the hope that Hollywood and media industries will continue to develop dynamic character roles for the Asian population and hire more Asian actors to fill their lead roles for future generations of Asian-Americans to look up to. 

If you enjoyed reading my post about Asian male representation in Hollywood, take a look at http://starringjohncho.com/. John Cho is a Korean-American actor best known for his role as Harold Lee in the Harold & Kumar films. On his website, Starring John Cho, he raises awareness about the lack of Asian representation in film and brings the “vision of tomorrow’s Hollywood to today”.