#there are quite a few people on here i can't truly live without

[edgessunflower]

🥺 I love you all so much

but it really is so important to find people who don’t lose patience with you or get angry if you’re being irrational or insecure or downright ridiculous, it is so so necessary to be treated with gentleness from loved ones and not to be made to feel like you’re irritating or a burden

[howlett-dekarios]

𝚂𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑

▏Trilogy!Logan x Reader

▏Summary: You were the perfect student of Scott's. But after you've came back form university, you've changed and Logan can't stand it.

▏Warnings: dom!Logan | virgin!reader | NSFW | MDNI | big breast | | breast play | slight overstimulation | kinda mean!Logan | unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!) | spanking | Logan calling reader names | male masturbation |

▏Word count: 3,5k

First days in school were a very weird experience for him. Being around so many kids and a few teens who were genuinely interested in studying here. The place itself being some sort of safe space for them. Truly unusual to watch something from so close, or even being considered a part of. Xavier wasn’t pushing him into anything though, rather giving him time to adjust to the new reality. Logan didn’t really feel like matching the whole vibe. Being a responsible adult, an example for youngsters.

He was called by Charles into his office. What he didn’t expect though was to be bumped into on his way in.

“Of course Professor, it will be done as soon as possible-“ A young woman's voice was stopped when her head hit the hard chest of Howlett. Her gaze quickly rose and was met with his unreadable eyes. “I-I’m so sorry Mister..”

“I’m Logan, kid.” His voice stern. “You should be more careful.”

“Yes, of course, I’m so sorry.” She stuttered. This guy wasn’t giving the nicest aura. Big, grumpy and intimidating with the cigar between his lips. “It’s my fault, I-“

“I’m just kidding, kid.” He gave her a teasing smirk, definitely enjoying how she had been panicking just seconds ago. Logan was a bastard who was well aware of his posture. “Nothing happened.”

“Sure..” Her red cheeks made him smirk even more. Are all students like this girl? “Goodbye, Professor, have a nice evening. Same for you Mr. Logan.” And with that she left as fast as possible, embarrassed by the whole situation she put herself into.

“Take care, bub.” His attention focused on Charles again. “Are all of them so scared?” The question was rather sarcastic one.

“I prefer the term of well behaved and polite.” The man in the wheelchair smiled and got back to sorting documents that were stuffed on his desk. “Besides Y/n is one of the best students here. Very smart and well raised young woman.”

“Oh is she?”

“I’m quite positive. She was asking me for the recommendation letter for the university she wants to get into.”

“They can do that?” Logan was honestly surprised. He couldn’t really imagine graduating from such school and being accepted in a ‘normal’ world later.

“It’s not so common unfortunately. Most students prefer staying here and becoming teachers like Jean or Scott. That or move out to the countries where the knowledge about mutant kind is less advanced.”

“They’re running away from reality-“

“Seems familiar?” Charles gave him that knowing look which other mutant already hated from the first day here. Older professor was actually one of the few people who had the ability not to take offense and even mouth back. Old ‘I know everything’ bastard.  “But I didn’t call you here to talk about Y/n performance in studies. You made your decision, Logan?”

Howlett wasn’t dumb, well knowing about what exactly this question was. Him staying in the mansion. If he was ready to fit into school reality. To deal with kids, or worse, with Scott. But what choice did he really have in that matter? It was that or coming back to the shadows. To live from paycheck to paycheck, getting any non-attachment job, vanishing as soon as someone realized who he truly was. And here? As much as Logan hated to admit it, it started to feel like home. Being accepted, doing whatever he wanted without needing to think about being discovered. A stabilization he never thought he really needed.

There was one more thing. He was in debt to Charles. For all the help the old man provided him with getting back the memories. For making it possible to puzzle all his life together. Such sort of debt wasn’t something a man can forget just like that. Or at least Logan couldn’t.

“I’m gonna stick around. No teaching though.” Not yet at least. He wasn’t ready for such responsibility.

“A babysitter then?” Xavier laughed, which only made the other man roll his eyes.

“I can train older ones.” Make himself useful by the skills he has. Not much but could be good to start.

“Very well, so be it Logan.”

And that’s how he officially became part of the life of the mansion.

For the next month Logan hasn’t gotten a lot of occasions to cross his way with Y/n. She was too focused on her studies and getting ready for the university life she planned for herself, and he definitely wasn’t the type to beg her to move her ass and join the training with the rest of teens. He really couldn’t point out why every other member of the team was so fascinated about that girl. Sure, she was nice, kind and smart, but that wasn’t making her anyone special in his mind.

That’s how on her last day in the mansion Logan was indifferent towards her. When Scott and Storm were all teary, hugging her and wishing luck, he stayed aside, watching it from the far corner of the room.

“Mr.Logan-“ Her face made it clear she didn’t know what to say after that.

“Just Logan, bub. You’re a grown up so act as one.” Maybe a bit too rude, judging by Jean killing gaze he felt on himself. “Just do your best there and don’t let anyone boss you around. If all I heard about you from Charles is true, then I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”

“Thank you.. Logan.”

“Y/n we need to go, you’ll be late for the tour around campus.” Scott called her after packing everything in the truck.

“I’m coming.” She smiled at Logan one last time. “Sorry for not attending your classes.”

“Yeah, whatever, it was your choice.” He shrugged, patting her arm. “Just don’t bump into anything on your first day there.”

“I won’t-“

“Y/n!”

“Coming!”

And just like that she was gone, starting a new chapter.

It was quite funny how history repeated itself.

After five years and graduating from the university she was once again at home. Talking with Professor about wanting to come back. To help both the school, since she had a degree in psychology so she could help students to understand their emotions, but also to fulfill her responsibilities as a mutant. Charles has always been saying how her mutation was so unique and how much it could serve for goodness.

In those few years she understood where she should be. Who she should be helping. As a successful psychologist it would be so easy to just open her own practice and make good money, but deep down Y/n got the feeling that it wasn’t what would make her happy. Being surrounded by normal people, hearing all the hideous things they’ve been saying about her kind.. it just made it more clear. It wasn’t her world. She wasn’t welcomed in it. She never should’ve left the mansion.

She was so stuck in her own mind that she didn’t notice the body in front of her. Not until her nose sunk deep into someone’s white wifebeater.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I-“

“Old habits die hard, huh?” Deep voice made her realize who exactly she bumped into. Again.

At this point Y/n was sure that the universe is just playing its most hilarious pranks on her.

At first Logan didn’t recognize her.

Those five years changed her entirely. From a nineteen girl who he had only seen with her nose in the books, to a fully grown woman.

Fuck, a very attractive one too.

The upper messy bun, the white shirt and dark shorts which left very little to the imagination.. If the concept of glow up was real, then it sure as hell could be used in her case. He really needed to double check if it was actually her.

“Logan.”

“Y/n.”

They’ve been looking at each other and if not for Charles, it quickly could’ve been awkward.

“Good to see you here Logan, I’ve been looking for you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Man in a wheelchair smiled and pointed at his student. “Y/n decided to join the team. But she will need a little bit of training before she can go for the missions. I believe your teaching skills could be useful for us.”

“And how do I know she won’t bail it all like the last time?”

“I’ve changed.”

“Yeah, I can see it.” Quite literally. One was sure, if Scott could see his thoughts right now, he would probably beat his ass because none of them were appropriate. “Fuck, alright.”

“Excellent. Welcome back Y/n.”

Next weeks were true torture. Watching her in clothes that wrapped her body tightly. All sweaty and with a face that showed true motivation to win against him. One thing he learned about Y/n was how university indeed changed her. From a polite and shy student, to a bratty and confident woman. Testing his patience limits whenever she opened her mouth.

Every night he was coming back to his room, getting in the shower and getting off to the thoughts of her in his bed. Laid down naked, spread all just for his pleasure. Her mouth finally shut up by his dick inside, abusing her throat. Logan wasn’t certain why it all made him so on edge, but something in her just made it impossible for him to focus. The thoughts of her irresistible.

He couldn’t act on it though. She was too young for him. Being the precious girl of Scott and Charles, the brightest and so perfect student of theirs.

But one evening made him lose it all.

“Always having such a fucking smart mouth bub, huh?” He hissed through his teeth, while having a strong grip around her throat. “Never taking my advices-“

“Maybe I would if you wouldn’t have your eyes on my tits all the time.” She mouthed back, using her power to form a dagger and sticking it into his lower stomach. “You’re always so grumpy, why is that? Haven’t put your dick into anything in a long time?” The bluntness of her words took him completely off guard since Logan was sure about hiding it rather well. 

Those few seconds gave her enough time to pin him to the floor, her legs on his chest and another dagger white energy dagger near his throat.

“I won.” Y/n gasped, clearly out of breath. After weeks of sparrings and constant failures she’s finally made it for the first time.

Her being on top of him was enough for Logan tho. In a second he rolled over, strong arms pinning her to the training matt.

“Get the fuck out.” He groaned, looking into her eyes. He wasn’t playing anymore. “We are done.”

There was no way of him working with her ever again. 

For hours Y/n was debating on how to approach Logan. What she should say, how to apologize to him. She took it too far, using some cheap shitty distraction to win. In reality she wasn’t even sure if Howlett had any interest in her, and judging by his reaction it was clear that he took the offense. The accusation of being unprofessional like this.. it was a really low blow.

That’s why she was currently standing in front of his room, knocking and waiting for an opportunity to say sorry.

What she didn’t expect was to be met with him half naked, wearing some sweats and having wet hair.

“I-I’m.. listen Logan, I’m sorry about what I’ve said-“

He didn’t give her a chance. Instead his big hands grabbed her waist, dragged into his room and pinned to the other side of the closed door.

“Oh, really, princess?” He fumed, his eyes focused on her face like he was really looking for any sign of doubt, not really in a mood to be played over again. 

“L-Logan I’m really sorry-“

“You should be, bub. Using my weakness, like it wasn’t you who have been wearing these tight pants and bras of yours.”

“W-what-“

“Everyone thinks you’re so smart but I see that you don’t have basic instincts, huh? Teasing me every damn time, like you don’t want me to fuck you dumb, and then having the audacity to just spit it in my face.”

“I swear I didn’t-“

“Is that so? Then why can I smell you know, Y/n?”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck his heightened senses. The second he grabbed her she started getting wet, squeezing her legs just to provide any sort of pressure. 

“Logan-“

“I asked you a question, bub.” The threatening tone near her ear made a shiver run down her spine. “But let me ask again. Do you like it Y/n?”

Truth be told, the time she spent with Logan made her realize how handsome the guy was. Strong and cut muscles, the height, and now the chest hair and happy trail going down under the waistband.

“My eyes are here, princess.” He chuckled seeing her struggle.

“Y-yes.” If before she was out of breath, then now it was literally no existent.

“Good.”

And just like his eyes landed on hers. Swallowing her flavor. Devouring any place he could. Quickly the kisses lower to her neck, leaving the trails of his spit and teeth on it. Bruising it like it was his job to do so. 

“Logan!” Her moans were a pure symphony for his ears.

“Legs.” The simple order made her obey, wrapping her legs around his waist like it has always been their place. “Good girl.”

It didn’t take him long to make her a moaning mess. Dropping her on the bed and undressing, leaving her fully naked just as in his scenarios.

“Fuck, I’ve been thinking about it for too damn long. Always wearing those tops that are fucking too little and cute for your slutty tits. I imagine guys on campus enjoyed them.” Her nipples were being abused just like the neck before. “But they’re mine now, you get it, bub?”

“Yes, yes, please.” She cried, trying to cover her eyes, both from pleasure and embarrassment.

“Ah, ah, ah, none of this. You can’t act all shy on me now when you’ve been such a bratty bitch all the time, baby.” Logan grabbed her hand and pinned them together above her head, not making it possible for her to do anything else than just take what he was giving. After he was satisfied with his work on the upper parts of her body, he took his pants off and smirked at her reaction. Logan was quite aware of his size being above any normal human, so it wasn’t any surprise. “Never had anything like that, huh? None of your little college boys gave you something like that? But don’t worry, princess, I’ll make sure it fits.”

But before he could enter her, she stopped him, putting her hand on his chest.

“Logan, wait!” Seeing his confused face, she whispered the thing he couldn’t believe was real. “I-I’ve never done it..”

“Come again?” But her reaction to his question ensured him that what he just heard was true. “You are a virgin?”

She nodded, not being able to look into his eyes.  

“Y/n look at me.” She shook her head, afraid of him being mad at her. “I said look at me, bub.” Logan gently grabbed her chin and forced her to face him. “It’s okay. It’s fine, you don’t need to be ashamed. Fuck, you’ve been so confident in your words back there that I thought.. but it doesn’t matter. It’s all good, I’ll be gentle. Just tell me if anything will be wrong, okay?” When she nodded one again, he smirked. “Words Y/n. You have such a smart mouth then use it now.”

“Okay.”

That’s when his member slowly entered her. Inch by inch, Logan was checking on her if everything was fine. The little pain expressions were a natural reaction considering his size, so he was soothing her legs, calming her down by praising how well she was doing.

“So fucking good for me, baby, so tight and warm.”

At first Logan wanted to give her some time to adjust but instead the girl told him to move.

“I want it, Logan.”

And who was he to deny her?

His pace was too slow for his liking, but her comfort was in first place.

“Faster, please.” She moaned, not being able to stand his gentle trust. “I’m not made of glass.”

Oh, she really shouldn’t have said that.

“As you wish.”

Logan grabbed her legs and turned her around, making her stand on all four. Pounding into her relentlessly, like his life depended on it. One hand grabbed both of her, holding them as a lever, making her arch in a way that will never leave his mind. Other went straight to her hanging breasts, squeezing them and overstimulating to her limits.

“Lo! Please, fuck, I’m close.. Lo..”

“I should’ve known that all it takes to finally shut you up is just to fuck you dumb. Such a good pussy for me, keeping herself pure just so I can use it however I want, isn’t it right princess?”

“Yhym, yeah, please, Lo!” Her mind clouded by the overwhelming pleasure.

“Already dumbfounded, how sweet. What would Scott think about you, baby, huh? You think he would be proud of his perfect student to be pistoned like a cheap whore? Just a hole for my pleasure of all the people?”

His fingers traveled from her tits to her clit, making small fast circles which made her legs tremble uncontrollably.

“Logan! I think I’ll-“

“I know, princess, I can feel you squeezing my cock. Give it to me Y/n, milk me so I can know how good your cunt is.” He kept his brutal pace, pounding into her from behind. Feeling how her legs were slowly giving up, Logan freed her hand and slapped her ass, leaving a red mark on it. “Cum on me, baby.”

“Lo! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

It didn’t take much for him to follow her, reaching his orgasm, painting her walls white with his own cum. The trip to the drugstore for the morning after pill will be the first thing needed in the morning, but for now his mind was focused on something else.

Y/n didn’t take Logan as a type of the good aftercare guy, rather betting on the ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ man. But to her surprise after they both calmed down from their high, he grabbed her waist and cuddled her into his chest.

“You alright?”

“Yes.. shit, it was..”

“I feel the same, princess. You did a very good job.” He smirked, giving her tender pecks full of affection. “I’ll clean you in a second, baby. Also I don’t think you’ll be able to have any sparring tomorrow.”

The teasing comment made her blush, but she knew he was right. It’ll be a miracle if she will be able to walk properly. But it took her a second to realize the true meaning behind his words.

“So… we are cool?”                                                                                                         

It honestly made him smile. But it wasn’t his usual forced grimace. This time that smile was kind, soft and genuine which made her heart melt a little.

“Yes, Y/n. We are cool. Besides, you were right. I was checking your tits all the time.”

They both laughed at that and after a few more seconds in a tight warm embrace, Y/n fell asleep.

Finally after five years of being here, Logan found a good reason why it was worth staying.

BONUS

Their relationship was kept a secret. To Logan it was ridiculous, but Y/n didn’t want Scott to find out, knowing that her former teacher would be furious. He would definitely judge the choices she’s made, especially by choosing Logan of all the guys. So that’s why they’ve been hiding. Stealing private moments, hiding in empty classrooms for quick make out sessions. Sneaking out of each other's rooms in the middle of the night.

But one day, she fucked up.

Charles called the whole for an emergency meeting early in the morning. She was still tired from the entire night intimate session with Logan, that her brain didn’t have any moment to wake up and start working properly. Instead of grabbing her own hoodie, she put on Logan’s which was too big for her.

The whole meeting went smoothly, though she couldn’t understand why Scott was giving her angry glances, at the same time Logan smirking like crazy.

“Nice hoodie, sweetheart.” He finally whispered into her ear, when the gathering was over. The realization hit her instantly like a bullet. 

“I can explain-“ Y/n started.

“Fucking asshole.” Scott only bumped his arm into Logan’s chest on his way out, not wanting to hear it all.

“Well that could be worse.” Another smirk appeared on Howlett’s face.

The next thing she felt was his lips on hers. There was no way he wouldn't use the first occasion to show off his girlfriend. 

▏A/n: Was the first concept writing some sort of teacher's pet fic? Yeah, but then it slightly evolved. Hope you enjoyed it tho!

[ssahotchnerr]

omg please part 2 off wishful thinking it was so good

we make sense, don't we?

thank you my sweet! cw; bau!reader, idiots realized <3, angst if you really squint, aaron pouring his heart out and FLUFF wc; 1k

part one

Saturday night had arrived; the sun was just beginning to sweep below the horizon. As a result, your living room filled with a comforting warm glow, contrasting the restless feeling your body currently held.

The thought had just entered your mind - you should've been getting ready for the date by now - but a sudden knock at your door interrupted your thinking.

Confused, you rose and crossed the threshold of your apartment. You opened the door, revealing none other than Aaron Hotchner.

"Oh," You blurted out, your heart picking up. "It's you."

You've never seen him like this; Aaron ridden with nerves. His eyes were somber, yet on edge. At first glance, they were desperate. His hands were buried within his pockets, and despite his nervousness, he didn't dare pull his eyes away from yours. "Can we talk?"

"Um, of course. Sure." You opened the door slightly more, allowing him the room to enter. "Come on in."

He thanked you with a swift nod, stepping inside. You closed the door, slowly, to fill the tense silence that hung over your heads, both of you figuring out what to say.

"What is it?" You leaned against the wall, crossing your arms across your chest. You were suddenly hyper-aware of your actions; should your arms be crossed, or was at your side better? What did your hair currently look like, after spending a rotting day on the couch, nose buried in a book. You nearly blanched at the thought, hoping you didn't look too horrendous.

However, while you contemplated your unkempt appearance, Aaron thought quite the opposite.

"I wasn't honest with you."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "About-"

"I don't think you should go on that date tonight." He confided earnestly, feeling nearly sick to his stomach at the thought. To be fair, he had felt similarly since the initial conversation on the jet. He could barely eat the past few days, his throat uncomfortably locked with dread. Regret.

Your mouth parted slightly, in surprise. You would've given anything to hear him say those words on the jet. But for now, your eyes only searched his for more.

"It's not my place to dictate what you do, and I'm not here to change your mind either," He honestly said, internally accepting the possibility his impromptu visit was for nothing. That he was truly, too late. "But you asked what I thought."

It took you a second, still soaking in his words, before you nervously queried. "What do you think, then?"

This is when he tore away his gaze - taking a moment to himself - internalizing what was due to be said and finding a sense of composure. He sighed heavily. Here it goes.

"You and me, we work, don't we?" He hadn't realized how frustrated he was until the admission left his mouth - his voice ached. He continued without waiting for an answer, his words flowing freely now that they've grazed the surface. "I don’t know about you, but I can’t pretend anymore. I can't keep pretending that there's nothing going on between us. I don't need to elaborate, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Right?" He took a step towards you. "We make sense."

"Then why haven't you asked me out?" Your voiced twinged too, partially at fault as well. You never initiated anything, either.

The empty hole that maintained home in the middle of his chest seemingly deepened, sadness brimming at the rim. "As cliché as this statement is, it's complicated. I'm complicated. It's... I'm good at shutting people out. You know how I am with the team, others, I prefer it even."

"But then with you... it's addictive almost, you're addictive. I don't know how else to put it. If I'm not near you, I have the utmost desire to be. You make me want to be open and vulnerable and as much as I fear I'd have a negative imprint on you" Like Haley. "I'm sick of allowing that to control my life. So I'm giving in to it, to be with you. If you'd let me, that is."

You blinked up at him, utterly speechless.

"Which, I'm sorry for coming over unannounced. Unfairly at that," An breath escaped from his nose, resisting the urge to clench his jaw in jealousy. "Before Cameron-"

"Actually," You finally found your voice, interrupting him and feeling lighter than ever. "He's not."

His eyebrows furrowed, a stern yet quizzically pull forming on his face. You could've sworn there wasn't a more adorable sight. "What?"

"I called the date off." You shook your head. "I didn't want to go, and the only reason why I even considered it was because I needed the distraction. From you."

There was an instant change in Aaron; his shoulders dropped, his face softened. Relief swept through him, he could breathe again.

"Truth is," You took a breath, bravely moving yourself closer and bringing your hand to his neck. You could feel his heartbeat racing underneath your fingers. "I've longed for you so much. So much it's almost embarrassing." You laughed gently, a faint blush appearing at your cheekbones. "Long story short, I've been holding out for you all along. No one is you. And it wouldn't be fair to James, you, or myself if I went through with it."

"Of course. Of course I feel it." You laughed gently, a sly smile tugging at your lips as your fingertips brushed against his skin. "Guess we've been on the same page all along, huh?"

"We're stupid, aren't we?" He laughed, his head leaning into your touch as your hand rose to cup his cheek.

"Definitely."

Aaron allowed himself to look at you, he wouldn't deprive himself any longer. He was free to fully admire you without the fear of being caught - no limitations. Lovesick.

"Are you just going to stare at me all night?" You quipped, a light tease in your voice and with just an admirable gaze at him in return.

"Maybe," He mumbled back as his smile resurfaced, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "There's something else I'd rather do, in fact."

Your heart skipped a beat, "oh?"

"Can I please kiss you?"

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

P*rn ☆  Chapter 6, Fear and despair

Masterlist Word count: 2 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Author's note: Ya'll ready to cry?! Me neither... Also, for anyone wondering why I don't English so good sometimes. I am Dutch and nothing is proofread <3

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, alcohol, mentions of domestic abuse, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

Mature content under the cut. No graphic content. Mention of abuse.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘

'You're not quite here with me.' You look up from the cup of tea you had been absentmindedly stirring since it was put in front of you. He's right. He's always right. Well... Most times. 

Your mind has been a mess. There's the whole Sylus thing, yes, that's something that takes up way too much space in your head. You keep thinking back to last Saturday, sitting on the couch with him watching the rise and fall of sexual tension. Seeing him try so hard to do small talk while pretending he wasn't looking at your lips and body like a man starved. He had kissed your forehead when he left and you leaned into it. Even thinking about it gives you butterflies. 

But there's another thing on your mind. A much more menial thing. Something much easier to discuss with Zayne. 

'How come I never heard you shower when you lived next door?' Zayne tilts his head, looking at you a little confused. 

'That's what you've been stuck on?' You reluctantly nod. It's stupid, so damn stupid, but Zayne still answers. 'When I moved out, Rafayel was talking about a new ventilation system. Maybe it connects to yours?' 

'That makes a lot of sense actually,' you groan, leaning back in your chair defeated. 'I can't believe I've been so busy thinking about that.' 

'You're an interior architect; shouldn't it be logical to you?' He's got a point and a very good one at that. You also could've just asked Rafayel, but no. You'd like to avoid that man as much as possible. He always tries to get you to do work for free, without even offering to lower you rent for a month or something. No way. 

You look around the coffee shop. This is you and Zayne's regular spot. The place is very big and open, but sound doesn't bounce around nor echo. There's tons of natural light and very kind yellow lights when the sun goes down. The furniture is a mix and match of secondhand stuff that's surprisingly pleasing to the eye and most chairs are comfortable. Then again, the chairs that aren't comfortable to you could be very comfortable to someone else. There are tons of plants scattered around, lots of cut vintage decor like old Matchbox cars and very old adverts on metal plates. On the floor are a few rugs that have almost worn into the floor and have major damage where people often walk. Almost looks like the rugs have crop circles. 

It might not be for everyone, even Zayne used to be a little uncomfortable here at first, but it's grown on both of you. The employees are kind and helpful, the music is always good and never too loud. It's a good atmosphere. 

'Anyway, how is the new neighbor?' Your cheek flush almost right away when you meet Zayne's eyes. 'What is it? Are you alright?' He leans over the table to touch your forehead, worried you might be sick. 

'I'm fine, I'm fine. His name is Sylus and he's hot- A LOT, he's a lot.' Zayne chuckles at your antics while you feel your ears burning. Not exactly the information you wanted to share with Zayne. Truly, it doesn't matter all that much in the end. He's like a brother to you and he knows nearly everything about your life. A fact that you wish was still true the other way around as well but he's been too busy to tell you everything. And now that you've dropped the "Sylus is hot" bomb, he's not letting it go until you tell him everything. 

For a professional, cold doctor he's surprisingly desperate for gossip. 

'I'm sure he's a lot,' he says with a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips, 'you were worried he might be loud. Is that the case?' 

'A bit. He's awake deep into the night, so sometimes I hear him moving around in his apartment or playing music late at night. It's nothing too bad though. Though Tara seems a bit cautious around him. Apparently, he's friends with her boyfriend.' A slight frown appears on Zayne's face. If you hadn't known him as long as you have, you wouldn't have noticed. But you do know him. 'What's that look for?' 

'Tara is dating that Kieran boy, right?' You nod and he tries to soften his face. 'Hm, I don't know them very well. It's probably not who I'm thinking of.' 

'Who are you thinking of?' And suddenly he looks real serious. The temperature inside is suddenly a few degrees lower and the bubble we were in feels like a soundproof chamber. 'Zayne, who are you think of?' 

'I wish I could tell you, but patient confidentiality forbids me.'  

“Patient confidentiality? What the hell? Is this even about Sylus?” 

Zayne reaches out for my hand on the table and gently takes it in his. 'Don't worry about it too much. I'm not even sure if it's the same guy.' 

'You're right,' you say, trying to smile as wide as you can while pushing the racing thoughts in your mind down. 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

"She has a boyfriend? Shit." Sylus tries to quicken his pace while he walks past the coffee shop before you see him, but he's too slow. You spot him and smile at him. A big smile, one that almost makes his cheeks hurt from looking at it. 

Wait... He's smiling back? 

No matter, he keeps walking. But then he catches the slightest glimpse of the man sitting with her and his blood runs cold. It's like a distant memory, or more like a distant nightmare. He can only hope and pray and doctor Zayne hasn't seen him. 

It's been years, but Sylus still fears the doctor might remember him. It wouldn't be too bad, the man saved his life, but he doesn't want you knowing. Not yet at least. What if he asked how his recovery is going? What if he asked if his scars healed okay? What if he asked if his situation has changed? How would he answer those questions and not revert back to that scared little boy she made him. 

Because all that still feels so raw, even though it's years ago. He should've been fine by now, at least that's what he thinks. Time heals all wounds, right? Three years should be enough. More than enough. 

That being said, his first doxing was her. She put his address out there as a last-ditch attempt to get him to "commit" to her. To make him obey like a fucking dog. 

He isn't even sure how all of it happened back then, but it did. Maybe it was just young love. Yeah, young love at 24. No, he was just naïve and stupid. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” 

What he does know is that he is nearly running home. He's stuck in his own head, tears prickling in his eyes. How does this keep happening at any mention, thought, or glimpse of her? It's not normal. He should be okay. 

It feels like he's picking up a fever as he unlocks the door to his apartment. He faintly hears the sound of his name but his chest is getting tight and he has to get inside. Why does this affect him so fucking much? 

And suddenly he recognizes what is going on. He's having a panic attack. 

He hasn't had a panic attack in the last two years. He's been fine, he should still be fine. Is it because he saw doctor Zayne again? Because he is with you? Because all he can think of when seeing doctor Zayne's face is how much pain he was in and how scared he was? 

“This is not fucking normal. Breathe Sylus, breathe. You know how to breathe. You've been doing it all your fucking life. Just stop panicking!” 

The voice in his head is no help. He slumps against the back of the couch in the middle of his living room, not able to make it to the bathroom to take a cold shower. Cold showers usually shock him out of it. His breathing stays rapid, his eyes looking for anything in reach that can help him but there are dark spots all over his vision. 

He closes his eyes for just a moment. Just a little bit. A second, no more. He wakes up with a few slaps to his cheek. His head feels cold against the wooden floor of his apartment. When did he fall over? 

'Sylus? Sylus? Look at me.' It's you. Your voice is desperate, scared, as you grab his shoulders and try to pull him upright again. He tries to help you, moving ever so slightly to a sitting position. Your hand raises up to his forehead, brushing the hair sticking to his sweaty skin away. 'Are you alright?' 

'Always with you around,' Sylus says, trying to look and sound like a womanizer, but failing miserably. To you, he just looks a bit loopy. His breathing is still ragged and strange. 

'Cute,' you note with a frown, 'now breathe with me.' You grab his hand and press it against your chest, just underneath your collarbone. 'Ready?' He nods. 'Breathe in.' He feels your chest rise slowly as you breathe in with him, your heard thumping under his hand in a steady, comforting rhythm.  

Slowly, the whole world disappears. His eyes are laser focused on yours, ears zeroed in on the sound of your voice and your breathing. To him, you look like an angel. His guardian angel. 

'Breathe out.' 

Your chest falls, he breathes out. It feels like seconds have passed but by the time you let go of his hand, the sun is setting. He last checked his phone around 16:30 before he saw you at the coffee shop, so that means it's close to six, it being wintertime. 

Finally lucid again, his heartbeat slowed, his breathing steady, he asks: 'Why did you follow me?' 

The coldness of his questions shocks you and you answer: 'I felt like you needed someone to be there for you.' 

He lets out a cold laugh, something that sounds close to disbelief but also much much closer to insecurity. A sound you hadn't expected coming from his mouth. He knows you think he's hot, he knows you are attracted to him, but he does not know you. He does not know about your youth, your struggle with panic attacks, your loneliness. But he doesn't need to know for you to be able to help him. 

If only he'd believe that you only want to help. 

'How do you know doctor Zayne?' There's something possessive in his tone, something you wouldn't have expected right now. 

'He used to live here before you. We're friends.' He stays quiet for a while, staring at you but not quite. More like he's looking through you, disassociating. 'I'm gonna get you a glass of water.' You move to your feet, but he grabs your wrist and holds you where you are. He's suddenly back, eyes watching you with immense focus. 

'Do you pity me?' The words sound like an accusation, like he's admitting he doesn't like what happened and that you "had" to see it. So much grief in those few words, a grief that goes much deeper than you can imagine. 

'Pity you?' 

He lets go of your wrist with an angry expression. He quickly gets up, refusing to look at you any longer. 'Never mind. I think it'd be better if you leave.' 

'What? Sylus-' You try to reach out for him, but when he looks back at you there's venom in his eyes. Your hand hangs in the air, halfway reaching towards his forearm. And then you drop it. 'Okay, if that's what you want.' 

He walks you to the door, his chest full of regret, embarrassment, shame. He was doing so damn well and now you've seen him like that. Like a shell, something defective, a bird with a broken wing. In the doorway you turn back to him so that he can't close the door on you. All he can see in your eyes in compassion, adoration and, strangely enough, love. 

'For what it's worth, I don't pity you. My opinions and feelings about you haven't changed,' you hesitate for a second and look down at the ground, 'and I hope you'll still ask me out. I do really want to get to know you. All of you.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Previous - Next

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Taglist

@carmelves

@d0llfilth

@terriblesoup

@valkyyriia

@fvcknwww

@itsizumiiii

@ludwigsb0nker

@amywright

@frenchmess23yo

@malleus-draconias-rose

@deathkat657

@sweetnanah

@trishiepo0

@iraot

@nyxie-00

@sherlockstolemyname

@poptrim

@dummiebunny

@everythingistaken00

@ikesimpleton

@tyys-stuff

@venussakura

@crimsonlittlecrow

@raiyuxa

@pxxchyjjk168

@satansdaughter123

@nekee-lilac02

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

[callmebrycelee]

I've been mulling this over for the last few days and I figured I'd just put what I'm thinking out there in hopes that someone will understand what I'm coming from. I'm reading a wonderful fanfic where Buck leaves the 118 and goes to work at Air Operations. He is paired with Tommy and the two of them strike up a friendship and an eventual romance. I'm only a few chapters into the story and there's a conversation where Buck and Tommy are relaying their backstories to each other. Buck talks about getting crushed by the fire engine, the subsequent surgery and setback, and him suing the LAFD. Tommy talks about his time in the Army and ultimately joining the 118. He goes into vivid detail about every single awful thing he did to Chimney and Hen. He ends the story by telling Buck that even though the Chimney and Hen chose to forgave him, he can't quite move past his guilt and works hard daily to become a better person. The thing I've been mulling over is the concept of white guilt and how it often triumphs over forgiveness extended by people of color. I find this so funny because even when people of color, esepcially Black people, are at their most vulnerable and open, whiteness still finds a way to be greater than.

Now I'm not here to excuse any of what Tommy did during his time at the 118, but I have to admit that the majority of the people I have seen taking umbrage with Tommy and his behavior, even after he has been forgiven by those whom he offended, and even after he has taken strides to change, are white, non-queer individuals. And before we making this a B*ddie versus BuckTommy situation, I have seen individuals from both sides of the fence taking Tommy to task.

Before I jump into my thoughts on this, let me just say that I'm a Black man. I'm also a queer man. Most importantly I'm a Black queer man and let me tell you a little something about poor behavior from white people. It happens so much and so frequent that oftentimes I don't even see it happening until I am allowed to have a moment to process and reflect. With that said, quite a few of my close friends and acquaintances are white and all of them at some point have said or done something deliberately or accidentally offensive to me. Now not all Black and/or queer people are a monolift so let me make this very clear right now. I am speaking on behalf of myself and myself only.

Now that I've gotten out of the way, I will say that in any and all cases where I have been offended, my forgiveness is more for myself than the other person. Forgiveness is something I do to protect my peace. I fundamentally understand how whiteness works here in America and I understand how it operates. You don't get to half 39 years as a Black queer person without learning this. Especialy living in the the south. I also realize that at the apex of whiteness is the white, straight male and whether we realize it or not, we all, for the most part, at some point, seek proximity to him. You see this happen with white women, with Black men, and evenwith gay white men. In fact, the only group you don't tend to see this with is Black queer women and I believe this is because they are truly the antithesis of the white apex.

With that said, any time my friends or acquaintances have behaved badly, especially towards me, especially regarding my race and/or sexuality, I understand where that energy comes from. I really do. And, if we are being truly transparent here, there have been moments in my younger existence where I actively participated in the oppression of Black women and queer people. I, too, was a Tommy who hid myself by participating in the toxicity directed towards queer people. And yes, I felt tremendous guilt for my actions when I had time to reflect.

Here is the thing people forget about guilt. Much like grief, guilt ebbs and flows, and it doesn't really go away. What happens, or what should happen, is that your world gets bigger and bigger to the point where that grief or that guilt doesn't occupy as much space. That's exactly what I believe has happened to Tommy Kinard. Yes, he still feels bad about what he did to his friends back then (and he should) but his world has gotten so much bigger since then. That guilt that was once a loud roar is hopefully only a whisper now because he has done the work to understand why he behaved the way he did and has taken strides to be a better version of himself.

So, to all the white, non-queer individuals out there who have been taking Tommy to task for things he did a long time ago, things he's been forgiven of a long time ago, parts of himself that he has made better, ask yourself this one simple question. Why should my guilt (white guilt) be bigger than the forgiveness provided to him by those he offended? Second question I would ask you to ask yourself. Why am I demanding that Tommy actively punish himself and be punished for something he has already been forgiven of? When you answer that question, there is one last question I want you to ask yourself. Why am I feeling guilty and projecting that guilt onto someone else?

Again, I am not excusing any of what Tommy Kinard said or did during that time of his life. I just find it strange that so many of you are condemining him of something he once did when you should be asking yourself, am I actively participating in the oppression of those around me. There's a 99.9% chance you are so maybe focus on your own garden before you start asking others to clean up theirs. Also, for those of you coming at this from the angle of, well we didn't see Hen and Chimney forgive him. So what! Unless you have a camera following you around 24/7, no one will ever get to see you be forgiven of the fucked up stuff you've been doing. Most of all, stop projecting onto fictional characters. It's weird. Okay, those are my thoughts. Do what with them what you wish. As always, these are my opinions.

[yesvic13]

Losing the gamble pt.2

Gi-Hun x F!reader angst

S1 in the games, some swearing, deaths, violence, blood mentionned, angst, 6000 words.

English is not my first language, sorry if there is spelling mistakes. I would also like feedback on this! (not sure if this is an original idea, if you find a similar fanfiction, please lmk). Can be read without having read pt.1

can't really write any stories atm as I have bad grades and need to focus on school ☠️

It had been a little over a week since you moved in with a friend to think about your relationship with Gi-hun. You felt immensely guilty, but it also felt good not to have to constantly worry about him, you were sick of all his promises when nothing ever changed.

You hadn’t tried to contact him, and he hadn’t reached out either. It surprised you, and you even imagined the worst, it wasn’t like him to let you go so easily. Deep down, you truly hoped this breakup was just a rough patch—that you would eventually find your way back to each other.

Every night at your friend’s place, you had to resist the urge to run back to him. You still loved Gi-hun, you never stopped. You still wanted to marry him, to live the life you deserved together. But in a week and a half things had surely not improved on his end. He was probably still being chased by loan sharks, his debts certainly hadn’t decreased, and you would still fear for your own safety.

One evening, on your way home after a long day at work, you stopped on a bench at the park near your friend's flat. You knew you had to move out soon and also had to retrieve your stuff from Gi-hun’s place. The thought of seeing him again filled you with shame, you wouldn’t be able to look at him in the eyes. You hated what you had to do.

As you sat moping on the bench, your face in your hands, you saw a shadow approaching. You immediately looked up, sensing danger as it was quite late and the park was eerily empty. Your eyes met the ones of a handsome man wearing a tailored black suit with a tie. He was also carrying a briefcase that didn’t seem to be empty.

Even though he didn’t look like the usual suspects you saw on the news, you knew damn well that a psychopath could be anyone. Sensing your suspicion, he introduced himself as a salesman and sat beside you.

He didn’t appear threatening but you were already strategizing how to leave the park without seeming suspicious. As you considered all the ways this encounter could go wrong, he spoke.

“I can tell you’re scared—don’t be.” he began, his voice calm and smooth. “As I said, I’m a salesman. I often help people in distress, and when I saw you here so late at night, I thought I could help.”

“How so?” you asked, your tone defensive though his proposition intrigued you.

“I’m sure you’ve played ddakji before, right? Play a few rounds with me. Each time you win, I’ll pay you 100,000 won. I’m sure you could make good use of this money.”

“… What? Is this some kind of shady offer?” you asked in complete disbelief.

“No, no.” he said with a slight laugh. “I just want to help.”

“You just want to play ddakji and if I win, you give me money?”

“That’s about it, yes.”

You looked away, thinking this was all a setup and you were about to be kidnapped. But nothing happened.

After all, you had all your chances, you played when you were younger and you were quite good at ddakji.

“There’s no catch.” the salesman said, sensing your hesitation.

“Okay, then I have no reason not to try and win a bit of money. How many tries do I get?” You asked.

“The game ends when you either win or decide to stop playing.”

“Right.”

The man opened his briefcase on the bench, taking out a red and a blue envelope. You stood up and chose the blue one. It had been years since you’d last played, but you believed in yourself. Besides, he hadn’t mentioned what would happen if you lost, so you had to win.

You stared at the red envelope on the ground and threw the blue one with such force that the red turned over.

You had won first try.

You looked at the salesman shocked, you weren't actually thinking that after years of not playing you could succeed, but you did.

He seemed surprised too but he clapped for your victory.

“Is that it?” you asked, feeling proud of yourself.

“Yes, that’s all. Here’s your 100,000 won. Congratulations.” He placed the bills in your hand, then smiled as he handed you a small card. “If you want to play other games for bigger prizes, call me with this number on the back.” He pointed at the card, smiled and left the other way with his briefcase.

You quickly pocketed the bills and the card, wanting to leave the park as soon as possible but staying still for a moment. You watched him walk away, your heart pounding in your chest. What was that? Was this even real money?

Yes, it was. Your friend, who worked as a cashier, confirmed it.

“You’re lucky nothing bad happened. I would never have played with him, no matter how handsome he was!” she laughed.

“Yeah, I know. It was so weird. I don’t know why I didn’t just run away. But he didn’t seem threatening, and look—I won 100,000 won from his stupid game!” you said, showing off the bills. But something slipped out of them and fell on the floor.

Your friend didn’t notice but you did. It was the card the man had given you. There was a square, a circle, and a triangle on it, along with a number on the back. You dismissed it as his business card and put it back in your pocket.

Later that night, your friend expressed her worry. “I was scared. I thought maybe the men chasing Gi-Hun were now after you. I’m glad it was just a random game of ddakji” she said with a half-smile, knowing how much you still thought about him.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” you replied, brushing it off.

That night, you had nightmares about Gi-hun, the salesman, and the card. At two A.M you woke up, panicked. Your thoughts immediately returned to the card. It didn’t look like a business card at all, and what was this number on the back?

In a moment of despair, you called. Hoping the salesman wasn’t the one supposed to pick up. A generic robotic voice answered, instructing you to go to a secret address in three days and to provide a password to the person who would pick you up. From what you understood, you’d be playing games in a sort of reality TV show to win a lot of money.

You hung up, contemplating your options. You were struggling financially, you needed a new place, and you wanted to help Gi-hun. If this was just about winning stupid games, you thought you’d manage.

Three days later, without telling anyone, you went to the secret location. You had taken a few days off work, only imagining the look on Gi-hun’s face when you’ll return with enough money to solve all his problems.

You woke up feeling extremely groggy, your body heavy, and a strange fog clouding your memory. You struggled to piece together how you had ended up in this place. The last thing you remembered was stepping into a white car and now you were in a huge room, filled with bunk beds stacked incredibly high. The walls were painted half white, half blue, giving the space an unsettling, sterile atmosphere. The air was cool, almost chilly, and it sent a shiver down your spine. You had never seen a place like this before.

Looking around, you saw other people slowly stirring, their faces etched with unease. They looked just as lost as you. There were so many of them—a crowd of strangers successfully recruited by the salesman you thought.

You then lifted the blanket that had been draped over you and froze. You weren’t wearing the clothes you’d had on when you left. Instead, you were dressed in a green tracksuit with a white trim. The number "282" was printed on the front of your shirt and on the back of the jacket.

You had entered the games—the ones the salesman had spoken of. The room around you was buzzing, participants murmuring inaudible words to each other as others extricated themselves from these unfamiliar beds.

Before you could think of what to do next, the front door opened and a group of guards entered the room. They were dressed in bright pink jumpsuits, their faces obscured by black masks. On it was either drawn a circle, a triangle, or a square. The exact same geometric figures that were on the card the salesman gave you.

One of the guards stepped forward, he seemed to be the leader. His voice was robotic, like the man you had on the phone. He explained why you were here and the rules of the games. He then gestured upward and a lever was pulled. From the ceiling descended a massive, transparent, empty piggy bank. It glimmered under the harsh fluorescent lights.

It was supposed to fill up with money as you won games. You thought the idea seemed absurd—childlike games for something as serious as money!

The murmurs of confusion and faint protests from the crowd were ignored. The guards were indifferent to it and turned to leave, announcing that the first game would begin in a few minutes.

You glanced around frantically, hoping to see a familiar face but you found no one you recognized. You felt more isolated than ever, and also kind of trapped.

Moments later you arrived in a vast, open-air room. The ground was covered of a fine layer of sand and the walls were painted sky blue with clouds.

At the far end of the room stood a massive animatronic doll with a frozen expression. The rules of the first game were announced, you were going to play “Red Light, Green Light.”

The doll began to sing, her voice oddly cheerful. You moved forward, careful not to move as you told yourself that if you did you'd be eliminated, you'd go home and you couldn't win any money. And you really needed that money, for Gi-Hun.

The doll’s song paused. You froze, holding your breath but one of your neighbors moved and the doll’s eyes turned red, the man was eliminated on the spot, falling loudly on the sand.

Your body froze. At first, you thought it was a performance, that the man had fallen for the sake of entertainment for the reality TV show.

But as you decided to look closer, you saw blood coming out of him.

Suddenly, a woman screamed, and others followed. Panic rippled through the participants. Some of them sprinted desperately towards the door they had entered through but they were shot one by one by snipers stationed above the doll.

You were paralyzed by the sight of dead bodies. Yet, your body remained still, partly out of sheer terror and partly because your body still felt anaesthetised. You understood the doll detected movements and you saved your life by not moving.

The atmosphere had changed in an instant. People who dared moving fell one by one, their bodies hitting the ground with sickening thuds. Only a handful of participants managed cross the finish line behind the doll at the end.

When you finally reached the line yourself, you turned around and saw the carnage. A hundred bodies littered the ground, blood sprayed in every direction, with corpses stacked near the entry door where people had tried to escape.

Your eyes widened in horror as the realization sank in. You were choking on your sobs, your breath catching in your throat because of what you had just witnessed. Fear had stolen your voice, no sound came out of your mouth.

This was it—you were going to die. What had you been thinking? Why had you agreed to participate in a game proposed by a stranger? You were stupid. So, so fucking stupid.

You sat on the ground, rocking back and forth, desperate for some comfort, but finding none. You couldn’t escape the truth now—you were playing these games with your life.

Eventually, the guards arrived to herd the survivors back to the dormitory. They were armed now, their rifles slunged over their shoulders, their presence suffocating. Not a single word of defiance uttered from participants, everyone was too afraid.

You had never seen dead bodies before in your life, and now you had seen more than a hundred in just a few minutes. Too shocked to process the situation further, you simply returned to your bed.

It was positioned quite high, giving you a clear view of what was happening below. Chaos reigned as everyone was clamoring to leave, shouting, crying, and begging for a way out.

The guards silenced the crowd, contestants instinctively backing into the far corners, terror etched on their faces.

None of the guards spoke, instead one of them activated the lever, and the piggy bank suspended above the room came down again. You watched as bills filled it—this money represented the lives who had been lost to the first game.

The sight of money made the eyes of a few greedy participants light up. As if wealth could justify the loss of human life.

The guards said they would come back in an hour, leaving the participants to contemplate their grim fates. You sat on your bed, trembling. Tears streamed down your face uncontrollably as you clutched your knees to your chest. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop crying. You were traumatized.

You were so consumed by your sobs that you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Startled, you looked up, and your breath caught in your throat.

It was Gi-Hun.

The horror on his face mirrored your own. His eyes widened in shock scanned your tear-streaked face, and for a moment, he looked as though he couldn’t believe you were really there.

You realized you were no longer alone but this thought brought no comfort, if anything, it was worse. The man you loved was here, in this nightmare, and that meant he could die too.

He didn’t say a word, he simply pulled you into his arms, holding you so tightly that you felt the faintest sense of security. You could feel his body shaking against yours, his breath uneven, he was crying too.

You buried your face in his chest as he held you, his voice breaking with frustration and fear.

“Oh my God, Y/N, what are you doing here!? Why are you here!?” His voice cracked with desperation. He pulled back slightly, gripping your shoulders and looking into your eyes. His tears glistened under the dim lights, his face a mix of panic and disbelief.

“Don’t tell me you came here for me. Please, tell me you didn’t come here because of me!!” His voice grew louder, frantic, as though he couldn’t bear to hear your answer.

Your tears didn’t stop as you looked at him, guilt and sorrow written all over your face.

“I… I’m so sorry, Gi-hun." you whispered, your voice trembling. “I… I came here because someone told me I could win a lot of money playing these games. I thought… I thought if I won, I could help you. You wouldn’t have to struggle anymore. You wouldn’t have to worry about money ever again and I could be by your side.”

Gi-hun’s face twisted with anguish, his grip on your shoulders tightening. He shook his head, his voice raw with emotion.

“No… no, no, no. You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t have come. I…” He trailed off, his voice breaking as he let go of your shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t—”

He couldn’t finish the sentence. Instead, he sank to his knees in front of you, burying his face in his hands.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “You don’t deserve this. You shouldn't be here, you should be safe, happy, not… not trapped in this hell because of me.”

You knelt beside him and wrapped your arms around him. “Gi-hun, stop. Please. I chose to be here, I couldn’t just stand by and watch you suffer, I’m so sorry to have left you.”

He lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours, a mixture of guilt and love. “But you shouldn’t have to do this for me. You shouldn’t have to risk your life for me.”

“I didn’t know that you played these games with your own life...” you said softly, your voice steady despite the tears.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. You both realized you had been trapped in a sick game to manipulate the most distressed people. You both sat against the wall on the bed as Gi-Hun held your hand.

“I swear we’re going to get out of here, and from now on don’t ever leave my sight.” He said firmly.

The guards indeed returned one hour later, and the leader stepped forward.

“Please, remain silent.”

The murmuring stopped almost instantly, replaced by an eerie silence. All eyes were fixed on him.

“As stated in the contract you all signed, if the majority of participants agree to terminate the games, you may leave immediately.”

A wave of gasps and shocked whispers rippled through the room. You felt a glimmer of hope ignite in your chest. Could it really be that simple?

“To proceed, we will conduct a vote. Each participant will have the opportunity to make their choice. A vote to continue the games will be indicated by pressing the green button. A vote to terminate the games will be indicated by pressing the red button. The majority will win.”

The guards brought in a voting machine and a giant digital screen deployed from the wall.

“As a reminder, the prize money accumulated so far will only be distributed if the games continue until the end. If you decide to leave you’ll leave with nothing.”

You glanced at Gi-hun. His jaw was clenched, his eyes locked on the panel with a mixture of hope and dread. Around you, people debated furiously with one another. Some argued for survival, desperate to escape the horror they had just endured but some greedy ones insisted that they had to continue.

A loud beep silenced the room again. The leader gestured towards the panel. “Participants will vote in numerical order. Participant 001, please step forward.”

All eyes turned to the elderly man standing at the front of the room, his green tracksuit hanging loosely on his frail frame. His steps were slow as he approached the panel.

The screen finally lit up with a single green dot.

The vote had begun.

One by one, participants shuffled forward, their decision made public. As the numbers climbed, the split became evident. Green and red dots alternated as tensions rose among the contestants.

You was called, Gi-hun squeezed your hand before letting you go, your eyes searching his for reassurance. You approached the panel, your mind racing. The red button would mean safety, a chance to escape dying. But the green button… winning the games could solve all your problems. It could save Gi-Hun from his crushing debts and give you both a bright future.

Your hand trembled as you pressed the red button.

The screen updated, and you returned to your place beside Gi-Hun, your heart hammering in your chest. He whispered to you “We’re going to get out of here, I swear.” and he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

Gi-Hun was the last to vote, all eyes were on him as he approached the panel. He pressed the red button.

The masked leader stepped forward, his voice calm despite the storm of emotions in the room. “The majority has decided to end the games. You will all be at your homes by the night. You have three days to think about your decision, if a majority of you decides to come back, you’ll all have to do so.”

Gi-Hun and you watched the chaos happening at the center of the room. Some people were yelling, they knew their life would still be miserable when they came home, this was their chance! Others were crying from relief, they were promising themselves to do better, to really try this time.

You also cried from relief, your hand on Gi-Hun's arm.

“We’re going to come home.” You said, your voice barely audible.

“Yes, and I’m never going to let you leave again.” He said with a faint smile.

As the guards said, you had to wait for the night and for every contestant to fall asleep in order to be able to come home. They were probably going to anaesthetized you again, so that none of you would remember anything and wouldn't be able to go to the authorities.

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” you asked Gi-Hun shamefully.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have let you sleep alone anyway.” He paused. “Stop feeling guilty about what you had to do Y/N, you had every right to leave me. I was such a mess, I’m so fucking sorry.”

You didn’t know what to say to him, he was going to promise all sort of things again, but this time you’d believe him more than ever. You hugged him tightly, whispering “I love you” in his ear.

He released himself from your embrace and placed both hands on your cheeks to pull you towards him in a slow, passionate kiss. He poured all his emotions in it, he was desperate, you could sense it.

“I thought I had lost you forever.” He said, unshed tears in his eyes.

“You didn't, I’m always going to be here for you, I love you so much.” You smiled at him.

He smiled at you too. “We should sleep now, I want to get out of here quickly.” You agreed and he held you close to him, his face buried in your hair with his hand on your stomach.

But after a few minutes of trying to fall asleep you realized you just couldn’t, not after the horrors you had just witnessed. Fresh tears spilled down your cheeks. “I’m so scared, Gi-Hun." your whispered, your voice cracking.

He tightened his hold on you, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your head. “I know." he murmured. “I’m scared too. But we’ll get through this, we’re going to investigate this as soon as we come home, too many people died.”

You sobbed quietly, you body shaking against his. Even if his presence was reassuring, you were going to be traumatized forever, with probably no answers to what those games were.

Gi-Hun’s hand moved to your arm, gently tracing soothing circles as he tried to calm you. He hated himself in that moment—hated the decisions that had led both of you here.

“This is all my fault. You shouldn’t be here. None of this should have happened.” He hated that you were suffering because of him.

You shook your head weakly, your hand resting on his. “It’s not your fault, we really need to get out of here to understand what happened to us.”

“I know, but you deserve so much better.” he whispered “I’m going to be better, for real this time.”

Slowly, you both felt reassured, knowing you’ll soon be back in your appartment. You fell asleep first, even if you kept trembling in your sleep. Gi-Hun watched you, determined to get to the bottom of these “games”. He wanted to understand.

“I’ll protect you” he whispered to your sleeping form. “Even if it costs me everything.”

@pink-apples001

[leidensygdom]

So, one of the thoughts I've been having about AI of late (and the people defending them) is the people who try to defend it from an anti-capitalist, anti-copyright perspective. I can understand that there are AI bros that just like the convenience of cheap art (or even to run AI mills of any kind) and that they're being inflammatory or seeking to make a quick buck (and I hate them for it), but the perspective of "I'm defending AI from a communist perspective" it's truly the one that baffles me.

Like, let's be real. Who is pushing for it? Why is every large tech giant desperate to normalize it? Why are they trying to put it on every single thing you own? Why are they trying so bad to make the investment worth it? genAI is here because really rich people want it. Because it benefits companies. Because it's already been used to bypass any already ridiculous data protection the average person had, and data equals money to them, as they can use it to make increasingly more weaponized advertising. Instagram has been using it to generate images of people without their consent. Will ads simply include your face using their product? Who knows! But this is a massive concern for data privacy (and for consent)

People try to talk about artists who oppose AI as "entitled", "the biggest fans of IP law" and "acting as temporarily embarassed burgeoise who wants to ascend class through their art". The large majority of artists are already struggling to make ends meet as it is. Very few of the people you'll see complain online are doing much, if at all, through art. That one furry artist whose work you love who covers kinks and genders that the mainstream would not understand in 7 more decades isn't someone aspiring to be part of the upper class through they art. They literally just want to make a living.

Quite a large portion of internet artists are people who either make art that wouldn't fit the mainstream for different reasons (too subversive, too unique, too inflammatory, whatever), are disabled/ND people who have very limited options to make a living, or part of marginalized groups that have issues finding more standard jobs in bigger companies. Or several of these at the same time. These people aren't the evil capitalists you want them to be for trying to defend their work (and their livings).

Maybe, if AI existed in a world where everyone had an Universal Basic Income and their worth and chances of living were independent from their ability to commercialize their art, a lot of artists would care far less for it, or copyright, or anything. But it does not exist in a vacuum. The ones who are more staunchly vouching for AI are the actual big corporations that a lot of the people criticizing IP/copyright are usually opposed to. Can we talk about the way these corporations want to use AI to control social media? To standardize misinformation? How you can't generate a lot of things with it due to extreme sanitization? How it will tell you biased information as facts, knowing you won't fact check? How the use of genAI, ChatGPT and so is directly hurting people's ability to fact-check and have critical thinking? Maybe that's the most pressing issue, and the reason AI is being pushed as hard as it is.

Are the people who are at higher risk of losing their jobs to AI going to get compensated? Once companies start culling translators, customer service workers, videogame devs, writers and artists, VAs, and everything else they can replace, will they receive any compensation? No? Then maybe stand the ground with your fellow workers and hear their complaints about AI. Again, it does not exist in a vacuum, and as long as it doesn't, it will hurt a lot of people as companies seek to save up few cents.

But no, let's pretend that opposing AI is always made because every artist on the Internet is sitting comically massive piles of money they made drawing socially unacceptable queer art that gets them banned every other month from sites.

[k9punkout]

AND IF I SAID THAT ivan's perception of till's determination and hostility was generally wrong and unintentionally undermining of his actual mental instability. IF I SAID THAT this pov rubbed off on the fandom and plays into several till mischaracterizations. WHAT THEN.

okay so hear me out on this one. ivan's acknowledged that he could never quite understand till like he could all the other children. everyone else fell into a sort of pattern, a puzzle that can be solved with a simple analysis and adapted behavior. everyone except till.

till was no solvable puzzle. all the pieces to him were distorted, broken, missing. a living hurricane, a walking contradiction. he was gentle in his violence, quiet in his loudness, complex in his simplicity. ivan could get no true read on him, and that's why he grew so drawn to him.

and while i do believe that till is just an eccentric and unpredictable person at heart, a large part of his chaotic nature is due to his trauma. his rapid and intense mood swings, his aggressive behavior, his easily overwhelmed mind, his fluctuating ego, and many other aspects to him are all signs of abuse related mental instability. ivan saw all of that, witnessed all the abuse and all its side effects, but it never really struck him that holy shit, this guy needs psychological help.

and it's not like that's HIS fault either. Ivan was never really taught how people work, he learned via absorbing how the other children interacted instead (which isn't really efficient, he's no mind reader or anything). i wouldn't be surprised if he had no clue that mental illness even EXISTED; he always referred to himself and sua as simply "twisted" rather than trying to figure out if they could be helped or fixed, or WHY they stood out from the others.

he never even questioned his own hatred for himself. he simply thought it was reasonable, because of course, who wouldn't hate a monster like him? once someone knows who he is deep down, there is no redeeming quality that he can genuinely exhibit to exonerate himself from his rotten, detached mindset. in his mind, he deserves the isolation.

ivan truly sees himself as the worst person in the world, which makes till, by comparison, simply a confusing kid who isn't scared to fight back. ivan thinks till's willpower stems from great mental strength rather than desperation and fear. this would lead him to both misinterpret till's actions and overestimate his mental strength, all while underestimating how rapidly his sanity is withering.

this is shown quite a few times around the series. in "Confession," he refers to till as the "victim of his shallow emotions," demonizing himself and painting till as his victim. as if till could do no harm. as if till was the ONLY victim here. (i can't stop thinking about how much till would've hated that word. victim.)

in a slightly more elaborate retranslation of Cure that someone on this app did (i tried to find it but i sadly couldn't), the word "scars" ("even if your cruel words carve scars beneath my eyes") was said to be better translated into "scratches." a flesh wound. nothing debilitating, nothing severe, just painful for a while, and then gone. insignificant. the harm he inflicts is insignificant compared to everything else that he is.

i'll stick around, i'll stay, because the bruises we leave on each other are nothing compared to the spark he ignites within me.

till punches and kicks and screams and snarls, and to ivan, it's no problem, just something that makes him unique. he'd do anything to see him fight. so what if he gets caught in the crossfire? so what if he's killed while he's at it? it's all worth it. till could just continue on without him, it'd be so easy. he's strong, he never cared for him all that much anyway.

till is unpredictable, till is unique. it's just the way things work. nothing about it needs to be changed. the destruction he causes to himself and to others doesn't need to be fixed, it's already perfect. he's perfect, in all his imperfections.

THATS where the toxicity lies in ivantill. not because ivan is totally possessive and wants till to belong to him and only him or whatever some of the fandom says. but because ivan so obsessed with till that he'll die for him while calling him his victim. that he'll acknowledge till's hostile behavior and his quickness to rage and violence and consider it something to be loved rather than concerned about or feared. he'll hone in on his own flaws, never acknowledging till's, never seeing how they're destroying EACH OTHER, and exclusively focusing on the harm that HE'S done to till.

it's why ivan was always bothering him. he wanted to see him lose his temper, wanted him to fight and struggle. (more often than not, this was a good thing, as it often happened whenever till was sad/out of it, but just because something's beneficial in the moment doesn't mean it makes for a healthy relationship).

of course, none of this means that ivan DIDNT want till to be happy. he wouldn't have tried to escape with him if that was the case. he liked seeing till angry, but not any more than he hated seeing till miserable. despite not quite understanding him, he still wanted the best for that boy.

i think ivans warped perspective affected the way many people characterize till. a lot of people treat him as a more gentle person than he is in canon, and while it's true that he's mentally weak, he'd never cower in the face of someone stronger than him, like many people seem to think. he's vulnerable in the explosive and reactive sense, not in the powerless and delicate sense.

so far, we've gotten so much of ivans perspective of till that people seem to forget that he literally committed a murder in round 2. and he looked REALLY happy abt that shit. my mans freddy was a father of two and till did NOT care. not to mention that he didn't even spare acorn a GLANCE the entire round.

idk man the guy's a lil cuckoo loca we might need to remember that

[strwbrythoughts]

a topic worth discussing | alhaitham

Alhaitham comes home to you (and Kaveh, much to his dismay) with a traveler and their flying companion in tow.

Divider by @/osqrie

My original work from my main blog, revised and reposted here.

As the front door of the quaint house opened, the traveler expected everything else other than a person -who is not Kaveh- greeting Alhaitham with a huge smile on their face.

"Sweetheart, you're home!" said person exclaimed, putting their arms around the man. The person captured Alhaitham in a sweet embrace. What was more surprising to the two observers was definitely the fact that Alhaitham made no effort to push them away with disdain; he reciprocated the hug quite happily.

"I'm home, indeed," he whispered into your ear, the sheer love he had for you evident in his voice. The hug was cut short and interrupted quite rudely by a certain flying emergency food's question. "Uh, so...who is this, Alhaitham?"

"Oh, you brought guests home! Welcome, welcome. I apologise for not noticing you sooner," you exclaimed, pulling yourself away from your beloved. "I am [Y/N], Alhaitham's spouse! My dearest here rarely brings any guests home, so please make yourself comfortable here." I smiled at the two guests behind him before disappearing into the kitchen.

The golden-haired traveler and their companion's eyes looked as if they were about to blow out from their eye sockets. The Acting Grand Sage of the Sumeru Akademiya never seemed to be lacking of surprises; rather, he was full of them. This action of theirs, no matter how much they tried to hide it, had not gone unnoticed by the subject of their interest.

"You can stop being surprised, you know," said Alhaitham with a small chuckle that could only be heard if one was close enough to him. "Though, I can't blame you for your shock; surely you didn't expect me, out of all people, to be married, hm?" His question was only responded to with awkward chuckles and eyes averted to the floor.

"Hey Alhaitham, help me with this painting I'm trying to- oh hey, traveler, Paimon!" A voice barged into the awkward conversation that took place in the living room. Kaveh's sudden interruption had no doubt brought some sort of shame to Alhaitham. An embarrassed sight left his lips before replying, "Now, you can either have a seat and behave; or you can leave this room without a word."

Before the architect could retaliate and respond with a snarky reply, a sweet voice cut him to it. "Oh dear, don't be so harsh on Kaveh, will you? Here, have some of these, it will re-energise you just right, after such a long day," you interrupted, setting down a tray filled with a teapot and a few teacups onto the table, enough for the guests, your husband and Kaveh. As you poured some tea into each cup, a fragrant and relaxing aroma filled the cozy living space. It was as if it had the power to calm all the inhabitants of the room.

No words were exchanged whilst everyone except you enjoyed the tea you had brewed, a look of bliss present on each of their faces. Truly, your amazing skills at brewing tea was one of the things Alhaitham loved about you, though it was not the only reason he fell in love with you. If he were to list down what made him fall for you so hard, he'd have filled the House of Daena with books that contained each and every reason, all explained with elaborate details.

The moment of silence was soon broken by none other than Kaveh. "Thank you for this, [Y/N]. Your tea never fail to calm me down after a long and stressful day." You shot your usual sweet smile at him. "Of course! Nothing makes me happier than helping people relax."

You didn't know if it was your imagination or not, but you could've sworn Kaveh shot a smirk at your husband, who sent him the slightest glare. Oh, these two's antics will never find an end, will they?

Deciding to ignore the two men, you turned to your two respectable guests. "So, you are the renowned traveler who is traversing across the seven nations, and you are their honourable companion, Paimon. Correct?" You inquired to your guests in an attempt to start a small conversation, as to not let them feel awkward.

The traveler merely nodded while Paimon replied to you for the both of them, "Yep, yep, you're absolutely right! But don't worry about us, let's talk about you! You are Alhaitham's spouse? That's super cool! When did you two get married?" You were slightly caught off guard, since you didn't expect such question to come from her.

"Ah, curiouser than a cat, are you?" Paimon merely let out a giggle at that. "Well, we actually got married last year after dating for a few years, when we were still in the Akademiya as students," you responded with a smile. The shiny glint in the traveler and Paimon's eyes told you that their interest was very much piqued. "Wow, that's really unexpected!"

"I think it's rather rude of you to say that I, of all people, would be quite the shocker to the whole of Teyvat if I were to get married," your husband interrupted, tone as sharp as ever. Before you could gently chide him, Kaveh spoke his mind first, "Well, I don't think it's unreasonable for others to think like that, no? What with your aloof and 'I don't care what others think of me' personality going on."

Alhaitham merely glanced at Kaveh before he decided to roast his roommate. "Well, despite not having the best personality others would expect from me, at least I have the financial freedom to have a nice house that was originally meant for my spouse and I only." You knew an agitated Kaveh would start a fight, and so you decided to shoo them away to another room. "An argument is coming up and we all know it; so please, kindly leave the living room." No disagreement was expressed towards your statement, and both men stood up to continue where they left off in the library instead.

A sigh left your lips. "I'm utterly sorry you had to see such an unsightly display like that. Please, continue asking me more questions if you still have them?" The traveler and Paimon assured you that they had already withessed one of their arguments back in the House of Daena at the Akademiya, and were more amused than annoyed by it. You could only chuckle at that.

"Anyway," Paimon started, her -and to a certain extent, the traveler's- want to satiate their curiosity regarding you and Alhaitham's marriage was quite strong. "How'd you manage to get him to fall in love? As far as Paimon can see, he doesn't seem like he has the abilities to feel any empathy, let alone love." You let out a hearty laugh at her words, even though it was not the first time you heard such things from other people regarding your husband.

"Well, Paimon, you should know that love is one of the most mysterious emotions for humankind. It can appear in anyone at anytime and anywhere, even to the most stoic and rational people. Pure love cannot be suppressed easily, and it is necessary for one to act according to the love they feel, lest they hurt emotionally or in the worst cases, die."

Paimon shor a confused glance at the traveler who nodded with understanding at your words. "Uh, well, Paimon was not expecting such a logical answer...are all people from the Akademiya like this? All of you talk like you're writing an academic paper or something!" You grinned at the little flying companion. Truly, she never failed to amuse anyone with her blunt words and thoughts.

"Well, if it can satisfy you much better than my previous answer, I can tell you how we started having a crush on each other, all those years ago," you said, the grin still stuck on your lips. "Ooh! Please do, Paimon and the traveler would love to hear it!" The small glint in their eyes had been replaced with stars that shone quite brightly. Quite a comical sight.

Before you could open your mouth to begin your story, a familiar pair of arms enveloped you into a back hug, well, they enveloped your shoulders it seemed, as you were sitting. Ah, it seemed that the two arguing men had finally became tired of arguing. "Must you barge into other people's love lives? Is that really all that you can entertain yourselves with these days?" Alhaitham questioned, annoyed that others kept trying to know his very much private love life.

Paimon pouted, bringing out the childlike attitude she sometimes had. "Hey, [Y/N] wasn't forced to tell us, so why are you saying that as if we coerced them into this?!" "Come now, the stoic and rational Akademiya's Acting Grand Sage's love life is definitely a topic worth discussing and you know it," Kaveh chimed in, indirectly supporting Paimon.

"Come honey, we should take a stroll around Razan Garden tonight. I'm sure the darkness of the night will only ensure that the plants glow even more magnificently than ever," Alhaitham interlaced his fingers with yours, pulling you up from your seat and ultimately ignoring Kaveh and his guests.

"Come back, you two!" Annoyed voices called out to the two of you. You looked back but your husband's hand on your waist was proof that he had no desire to entertain them any longer. You could merely shoot a small, apologetic smile as Alhaitham opened the door of the house.

"See ya."

Thank you for reading! <3

[theprettynosferatu]

I Had Ice-Cream (The Election Post)

I had ice-cream yesterday.

I've following a very strict diet because I'm trying to eat in a healthy manner and, let's not lie here, because I am quite vain and wanted to lose a few pounds. And if there was one thing I stayed away from, it was ice-cream. But yesterday I had to. Eating my feelings, I suppose.

The reason I felt so bad should be obvious. And I'm not even American! But I lived there. I made friends there. I still have friends there. Gay, straight, cis, trans... my heart breaks for them all. It feels like something horrid, something primal and evil and dark won. A fear turned into anger and selfish lashing out. It's hard to believe, right now, that love will always conquer hate.

I intended to make a few captions yesterday, but I couldn't. And I am well aware you don't come here to see me whine and weep and rant. But I don't think I can make more content without addressing this first.

This blog plays with ideas of power- in fact, the main aesthetic and tone for captions is inspired very directly by propaganda. I imagine them as posters from another, fictional reality. Hard to see it as so fictional right now.

Let me be absolutely clear: if you truly think women are lesser, if you let hate take root in your heart, if you are a real authoritarian, this blog is not for you.

What can I do? Not much. Not much except providing, perhaps, a bit of escapism- hoping people understand the difference between kink and reality, hoping I haven't done harm with my work (although I doubt captions and kink stories moved a lot of votes in this election).

I feel we need to take our small joys wherever we can find them. You can't fight if you are a burnt-out, overwhelmed mess. So, don't feel bad about cutting yourself some slack. Do something that brings you joy, even for a moment, because we need you. You matter. And you deserve that joy, and so much more.

So, I had ice-cream. Find your ice-cream, and eat a bit without shame.

Take care of yourself. And now more than ever, we need to help take care of each other.

Kink content will resume soon. I just needed to clear the air and vent a bit. Thank you for understanding.

-Nos

[yandere-sins]

Im loving this naga stuff sm omg and it’s got me thinking.

What if they were to leave reader for a few minutes, only for someone to find them and maybe try and take them back? Or them just talking to the reader in general

Had an idea for a scenario with Ghost! Thanks for requesting ^-^

Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Attempted Non-Con), Violence (Death of minor character, Brutal Death), Monsters

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

"Thank-- Thanks!"

You barely had the breath to utter a word, but neither did your savior, coughing and panting in front of you. If it hadn't been for the fact that you two were racing through the forest mindlessly, "escaping" being the drive to keep you running, you might have expressed your thankfulness a little more. This had to do for now. Even though you two still weren't in the comfort of a town with big, sturdy walls and guards with weapons, you had gotten quite far in your mad dash through the thicket, every inch away from the hell that was the lair you had been kidnapped to, feeling like you were finally free.

"Thank you so much!" you croaked, your voice hoarse and your mouth dry despite sweating profusely. "You can't imagine," you added, swallowing hard as your throat stung. "That monster in the woods... that... snake... it captured me and held me there for some reason. I wouldn't have been able to escape without you!"

The man—a hunter or soldier, you reckoned, considering he knew the forest so well—waved his hand dismissively, stretching out his back and taking deep breaths, collecting himself. 

"Please, anyone would help when they found someone in such a dire situation as you were," he comforted you. You tried to smile through the pain aching through your whole body, the impromptu workout rattling every bone after weeks of being carried around and doing nothing.

Steadily, the man was regaining his composure, so you tried your best to keep up, not wanting to look lousy in front of your savior. He looked around, scanning the area, before pointing his finger somewhere further south and turning towards you. "There's a hut just a few minutes from here. It's getting dark, and we should stay out of sight in case we're being followed. What do you say?"

Gulping, you wished his suggestion had been more like, "The city is just a few more steps from here. Let's take shelter behind a safe stone wall full of guards and trained soldiers to protect you." Then again, you wouldn't be as ungrateful to his efforts as to suggest you two kept going until you could truly settle into the safety and protection of civilization. You didn't want to stay one more night out in the forest, but a hut sounded better than to be found wandering out and about in his habitat.

There was a lot to unpack, and you weren't sure if you'd ever get over what happened to you. Still, when your savior closed the wooden door, drew the curtains over the windows, and handed you a blanket to bundle up, you felt like the first step towards healing had been made. A fire might have given away your presence, so you wrapped the blanket tightly around you. However, it was barely enough to cover everything, your legs sticking out if you didn't pull them against your chest.

It wasn't comfy or warm, but it was the first time you truly realized you made it out. Things had been rough living with that thing. People would call your stories crazy if you talked about a strong half-man, half-snake, feeding you raw meat and occasionally fruits while keeping you coiled in his tail. They'd think you'd gone mad if you told them about the white, skull-like marks on his body and face or how he'd bury his face in the crook of your neck, jittering happily. The worst part was that he couldn't speak to you, even though you thought he tried a few times, but there were no words spoken between you two ever. You couldn't explain his intentions or thoughts to anyone, not even yourself.

For a while, you two sat in silence, breaths calming down. The man handed you some dried meat and his water flask, sharing what little he had, and you gobbled it up with your gratitude, thanking him again and again. You could feel him watching you, even through the darkness inside the hut, but you thought nothing of it. He must have been concerned for this stranger he found in a ditch, hidden away, crying and begging for help when he passed by accidentally and took them on a run through the thicket. All while they kept whining about some monster kidnapping them. It sounded crazed and suspicious even to you, but you were glad he listened to his heart and helped you despite the wild story behind your misery.

"Thank you so much," you mumbled again, unable to stop thanking him. Tears welled up in your eyes as the realization of your escape settled further, something you had started to fear wouldn't ever be possible after so many days spent with the monster. You sobbed quietly as the relief washed over you in big waves, wishing you could stop and not look so pathetic in front of a stranger. However, he put his arm around your shoulder, drawing you into his chest, and you could no longer hold back your ugly crying.

It felt good to be held again in a warm embrace, hands patting your head, your back. It was different from the claws and scales, the sensations only ever bringing you terror. Instead, you were comforted by the humanness of the kind stranger, so much better than what you had come to know from the monster. Palms rubbed soothing circles between your shoulder blades, and arms that were strong but not as firm as your captors hugged you tenderly. His touch warmed all of your back, fingers slowly dipping lower, massaging the soreness in your muscles until they ended up above your ass, making you jolt.

"Sorry," you apologized, wiping your eyes as you tried to slide away, thinking it was a mistake where his hand landed. However, the arm around your shoulder didn't budge as you tried to slip out, his other hand creeping up your leg instead, brushing aside the blanket.

"I don't mind," the stranger muttered, leaning forward. His nose brushed against your hair, and you heard him taking a deep breath, inhaling your scent that you didn't even want to know what it smelled like. Immediately, goosebumps erupted all over you, your body tensing under his touch as you turned stiff as a board.

"How about you thank me some other way since we'll be stuck here together all night? Let's take some of that tension off you, shall we?"

You could hear the disgusting grin on the man's lips and knew exactly what he was suggesting. Your eyes darted to the door, knowing where it was even in the darkness. Only a small bolt locked it from the inside, and as the stranger's hand crept higher on your thigh, fingers pressing and massaging the flesh, you were planning your way out frantically. The sound of him letting out a long, satisfied sigh was enough to finally put your plans into action while you were filled with disgust.

"Please stop!" you pleaded, pressing your hands to his chest. Still hoping to find reason within him. You cursed the monster for actively encouraging you to do as good as nothing while it had captured you, all your muscles seemingly evaporated as you couldn't even push him an inch away from you.

"Come on, don't I deserve a reward?"

"No! Not like this, please! I don't want that!"

"Don't be like that now! I helped you, didn't I?"

Panic made your blood pound in your mind, pumping you full of adrenaline that you thought had all been emptied out while you ran from your captor. You hadn't realized the man's thoughts, disgusting, vile, and opportunistic, no different from the monster you were with before. But if you had to choose, you chose neither.

Luck was in your favor, and as the man tried to topple you over, the barely helpful blanket gave you a chance to slide out from under him, your nails scratching over the floor as you got to your feet, dashing towards the door. He tried to get up after you, though he wasn't as quick and found less hold on the ground, so you had time to find and unbolt the lock with shaky hands; your breath uneven as you tore open the door and ran into the dark night.

The small clearing before the hut was eerily quiet, but with your blood rushing in your ears, you didn't notice the absence of sounds. Unfortunately, that was also where you ran out of luck, your foot getting stuck on a root, tripping you over badly.

"Come back here, you idiot!" the stranger whisper-yelled after you. On one hand, he had a point: neither of you should be out at this hour, causing a ruckus. But you were way past reason as you knew that going back there would mean he'd do something to you, one way or another. You had escaped one monster, but your fellow human was no better than one. Different, yet just as harmful.

"It was just a joke! Come back here right now! You're getting us--"

His voice was cut off, and you didn't hear his steps behind you anymore, confusion forcing you to look back over your shoulder as you stumbled to your feet. Clouds seemed to break open at the exact moment that you looked at him, letting the moonlight through as you found your footing in a daze, furrowing your brows as you noticed the stranger not staring at you.

His mouth hung open, head tilted back, his eyes wide and filled with unimaginable terror. You were appalled yet intrigued by what he saw when your body crashed into a wall, the unmistakable feeling of scales rubbing over your skin. There was nowhere to run as the elongated body you knew too well started to wrap and tighten around you, a large hand sinking to your back, its palm covering it protectively, keeping you pressed against the monster you initially ran from, his black scales enveloping you in darkness.

"It's- It's real," the man mumbled, his voice turning into yelling as he continued in a ramble, "It's real! It's actually real!"

All you could do was shiver as you heard the man laugh manically behind you. As if he hadn't believed you until he saw the monster you had described. You didn't know what was better: running away alone, staying with the beast, or being with the stranger. Every one of these options made your gut churn. How did he even find you? How could he catch up so quickly despite you two running all day? When you ran out of the hut, you hadn't even seen a shadow, much less a body, so where had the monster come from? 

The creature leaned down, his humanoid upper body hovering over you, palm pressing you against him a little more. And in what you could only describe as monstrous comfort, you felt a rumble go through him, soft and even, his thumb brushing over your back. It was different from the comforting touch of the stranger, but no less ill-willed and a lure into more danger. Even when the monster tried to seem less like the bad guy, you knew it was far from the truth. The trust he attempted to pull out from your subconscious as he protected you, was misplaced and unwarranted. His hands were cold, his body abnormally. Like a ghost, sending shivers down your spine and spooking you to your very core. 

Behind its purr and comfort, he was still a monster.

You gasped and flinched—hard—when you heard his tail slam into the ground, the maniacal laughter dying instantly and being replaced by the cracking of bones and splashing of flesh. You didn't dare to look back, couldn't stomach a glance at the dead body smashed into pulp behind you.

Even when the monster picked you up, your arms wrapping around his thick neck instinctively as you had so many times before, your mind ordered you to be compliant, but you couldn't stop shivering. You didn't want to submit to the monster, nor did you want to end up smashed and dead as well. Just like before, you cried into the shoulder of your savior pitifully as he carried you back into the dark forest, clawing onto you and not giving you the same lucky chance to slide out of his grasp.

He carried you for a long time at a leisure place, ducking under branches and brushing away thorny bushes, and only then did you realize how far you had come—how close you were to escaping the creature. The despair tore your sanity into pieces. He had no hurry while carrying you back, but when he sunk underground, the moonlight fading from your sight, you knew it was hopeless.

The monster laid you down into soft furs, the darkness surrounding you a familiar threat, forcing you to experience every touch and every sound much more intense than before. It had never spoken to you in all the time you two were together, but it didn't let you forget it was there. His face rubbed against yours, tongue lapping at the pulse in your throat, and he purred and hummed, his tail coiling around your leg, scales scrapping over your skin.

He rested his face against your throat, taking a deep, audible breath, and you thought back to the man who had tried to save you, doing the same. Monsters, you thought. Monsters, all of them.

"M-- Mhm--" you suddenly heard, feeling the vibration in the creature's chest, and you held your breath, the sound almost familiar, like a voice.

"Mat-- Ma-tsss--" Slowly, the pronunciation got clearer, strained and uncanny as it was, followed by a hissing sound. You couldn't help the goosebumps on your skin, the scales tightening around you as they felt the change, imprisoning your limbs while the monster kept trying to speak in an unfamiliar tongue.

You saw the glint of his eyes hovering above you, something dripping down onto your cheek. You had no way of knowing what it was, but by the sounds of straining, you guessed it was drool as the monster tensed and flexed his jaw for more mobility. You could only stare in wonder and fear alike.

"Wha-- What?" you uttered, confused and agitated by the whole situation, frightened and unsure what to make of it.

"Mi-- Mine," it finally stammered out, and time seemed to halt as you stared, bewildered. It had never said a coherent word to you, much less did you think it understood your talking. But as the darkness and silence carried one, he repeated it, and you felt like, finally, everything was beginning to make sense.

"Mate. Mine."

[shunin-gumis]

L4mps Main Story Translation

Designs of Happiness A01

Title: ep.1 Well-being by myself

Characters: Nagi

Summary: One night, an interesting radio show could be heard at the Flower Laundry...

JP Proofreading: aca @463ce6 on twt EN Proofreading: jes @arcanecrayonn on twt

No matter how hard I try, a worthless person like me could never trace after the path to "happiness" that everyone else gets to experience.

As the gentle loneliness of the night envelops me, I drift between fleeting moments of happiness, barely holding on to see the next day.

-It was one of those days.

Location - Flower Laundry

Voice from the Radio: Coming to you live from HAMA Studio no.3-

Arisa: It's Arisa and~

Teresa: Teresa's~

Arisa and Teresa: Intelli-radio: Aristotle~*

Nagi: Sonia, could you turn up the volume?

Sonia: Okay~

Teresa: The rain sure isn't letting up huh?

Arisa: True~ It's quiet but it's perfect for getting some me-time in, whether it's to study or get some reading done.

Arisa: As we were talking about before the commercial break, forgive us if we go on too long on the mechanisms of achieving Happiness, just blame it on this lovely night we're having~

Sonia: ...

Sonia: Nagi-shan, you've been working on your bike all this time, but you made sure to eat dinner, yesh?

Nagi: Eh? ... Ah.

Nagi: Now that you mention it, I might be really hungry right now.

Sonia: Geez~

Sonia: You're still in the middle of work, so I'll get you shumthing you can eat with one hand.

Nagi: Thank you, Sonia. If you weren't around, I'm sure I would've ended up a mummy by now.

Nagi: "A mummy was discovered in the middle of the city!" Could Flower Laundry possibly be the next new hot spot...

Sonia: Don't say shumthing so ominous. It's exactly to prevent unfortunate people like you from ending up in such sad situations that helper robots like me were created.

Sonia: Pleash wash your hands and wait there.

Nagi: When did it get so late...

Nagi: I should get the bike back in the garage for now...

Arisa: While countries and corporations were competing between themselves for economic growth, the end result was that most of our environment was destroyed, and resources dried up in the blink of an eye.

Arisa: Did humanity manage to achieve true prosperity after this? Was it worth the cost? The answer is a resounding "No". Although the country's GDP* has increased four, or even five-fold, the happiness-index has flatlined for the past 100 years or so.

Teresa: Wait, really? A 100 years ago, people couldn't even have their clothes dry automatically, right? They also had to wash the dishes by hand... No way, that reminds me, they even had to vacuum the dust off the floor themselves or something right..?

Arisa: I think they'd still be using brooms about a 100 years ago?

Teresa: No way~ That's way too retro for me! I can't imagine life without all the smart appliances we have now. I mean, a world with no food-printers? Yikes.

Sonia: Here you go, "fresh" off the food-printer...

Nagi: Right on time.

Sonia: On time?

Nagi: I was just talking to myself. Thanks for the meal.

Arisa: Okay, I get how much you love your smart appliances, but do all these materialistic things truly fill your heart? Does it really let you sleep better at night?

Teresa: Hmm, you do have a point. The more convenient things get, the more it feels like the world is telling me to be time and cost-efficient, but before I even realize it, I'm already doom-scrolling on dazzle*...

Arisa: "More convenience! More income!" Such concepts are shoved in our faces constantly... How about trying to remove ourselves from this endless equation? There's quite a few factions amongst the younger generation who never expected much from society nor themselves...

Teresa: Sorry, that's just not for me. Chasing after your dreams, working towards your goals: those are the things that make life worth living. Growing as you compete with others is part of it too. And then when you finally get your hands on the things you've always wanted with your own effort... It doesn't get better than that.

Arisa: That's right. That's why people have come up with a strategy guide-

Arisa: The era of learning the Psychology of Happiness is upon us!

Teresa: The Psychology of Happiness?

Nagi: What's that?

Sonia: Oh! There's a response on the shop's PeChat*, hm...

Sonia: Nagi-shan, we just got an order. The customer will be coming by in ten minutes to pick it up.

Sonia: They're requesting a bouquet that can cheer up their girlfriend who's feeling down about making a mistake at work.

Nagi: ―

Sonia: Nagi-shaaan.

Nagi: Ah, sorry. Can you ask them what her favorite color is?

Sonia: I already did. Apparently, she likes the color blue!

Nagi: Blue... Blue, huh.

Nagi: I think we can use the nemophila we just got in earlier today. Add in some large calla lilies and sky-blue baby's breath...

Nagi: Maybe some delphiniums and blue stars could work as accents...

Sonia: And what about the ribbon?

Arisa: To explain, the Psychology of Happiness is the study that aims to help anyone, of all ages and gender, understand how to engineer and replicate the mechanism of happiness in their own lives.

Nagi: Replicate... happiness?

Sonia: Nagi-shaan, are you listening?

Nagi: I'm listening. Could you bring out the thin, light blue ribbon from the back?

Sonia: Got it. I'll leave the card here too.

Nagi: Okay, thank-

Teresa: Wait, some people find it easier to be happy because it's hereditary!?

Nagi: What!?

Sonia: Huh!?

Sonia: Geez, don't scare me like that. What's got you sho worked up?

Arisa: That's right. 48% is already determined by our DNA.

Nagi: .....

Sonia: Nagi-shan?

Arisa: Just like how some people might find a dish spicier than others, some can experience happiness easier than their peers as well. This is a hereditary factor, determined by our genes from the moment we're born.

Teresa: No way! So what you're telling me is that half of the happiness we can experience in life was already decided while we were in our mothers' womb!?

Nagi: ......

Sonia: Are you okay now? The customer will be dropping by soon.

Nagi: ...! Right, I need to get this done quickly...

Sonia: I'll go ahead and cut the flower stems under water.*

Nagi: Thank you. Could you also get the blue gift-wrapping paper-

Sonia: I've already spread it out for you!

Customer: Um... I'd put in an order just earlier.

Nagi: ...Ah.

Nagi: Sorry, could you please wait for just a moment? There's just the finishing touches left.

Teresa: So, what about the remaining 52%? Don't tell me it's influenced by the environment we were born and raised in.

Arisa: Not at all, the influence from your environment makes up only about 10% of it. As for the remaining 42%...

Teresa: ... Is it based on our actions?

Arisa: Correct! This means that, out of 100% achievable happiness level, about 42% of it is within our control.

Nagi: Wow. I've never thought about it that way.

Customer: Huh?

Nagi: No, if I think about it, is that really possible?

Arisa: Just as how the right diet is different for each person, once you figure out the method, anyone can achieve happiness. How it comes to bear fruit for you, is up to you yourself.

Nagi: If half of it is determined by fate, and the other half is uncertain... Could it really be that simple? Then maybe it's also possible for me to.... No, it's probably just a waste of time in my case. I shouldn't get my hopes up. Just thinking about it is making me depressed.

Customer: Erm... Are you alright? You've been muttering to yourself for some time now...

Nagi: Ah... Sorry about that. Don't mind me.

Customer: Right...

Nagi: Thank you for waiting. This is the completed bouquet. Is it to your liking?

Customer: Wow...! It's beautiful... It's just how I'd imagined it, I'm sure my girlfriend will be happy with it.

Nagi: I'm glad to hear that- Ah.

Nagi: That's right, I almost forgot... Excuse me, would you mind handing the bouquet back to me? There's one last thing I need to do.

Nagi: Mu....

Customer: Mu?

Nagi: Mu.....nn!

Customer: Um, what exactly are you doing...?

Nagi: I've instilled some energy* into it. In other words...

Nagi: It's something like a good luck charm. When your girlfriend receives this bouquet, she'll be so happy that she'd be skipping along the pavement.

Customer: To the point of skipping...

Nagi: Oh but, even without my little charm, I'm sure she would be plenty happy just knowing she has someone who would get her a bouquet when she's feeling down.

Nagi: In any case, I hope the two of you can skip along merrily.

Customer: I-I see... Thank you...

Nagi: Thank you for your patronage.

Sonia: Thank you very mush!

Teresa: Whaat, is it time for us to go already? Too bad, I really wanted to talk some more~

Sonia: Phew... I'm glad we finished it in time.

Nagi: Yeah, it's all thanks to your help Sonia.

Sonia: It's a piece of cake!

Arisa: Arisa and Teresa, your guides for psychology, signing out!

Nagi: Anyways, good job. Let's do our usual thing.

Arisa: Let's meet again when the fountain of knowledge wells up again!

Sonia: A high-five right? 3, 2, 1..!

Arisa and Teresa: See you again!

Play Ivory MV

Notes:

Sonia has a bit of a lisp so I changed a few words to match her speech

Intelli in Intelli-radio is short for Intelligentsia

dazzle is a social media site in the 18trip universe

PeChat is a messaging app in 18trip universe

GDP stands for Gross Domestic Product.

Cutting flower stems under water prevents air bubbles from going up the stem and helps in keeping the cut flowers fresh for longer.

'Muuun’ is the sound he makes when he’s instilling his happiness energy/thoughts(念) into the flowers, literally.

Flower Language:

Flower Language is important to Nagi's character and a way for him to communicate his thoughts, so I'll always note it down whenever any are mentioned.

Nemophila Lovely, Wish for success, I forgive you, Clear heart

Calla Lily Gorgeous beauty, Purity, Gracefulness of a young maiden

Blue Baby's breath Gratitude, Luck, Innocence, Kindness

Delphinium You spread happiness, Clear and bright, Generous, Precious

Bluestars (Amsonia) Trust in one another, Abundant love

Fun fact: The flower passed around in Ivory is a Delphinium! Meaning Nagi spreads happiness, which is what he does by sharing his happiness 'energy' but also that he brings joy to those around him by simply being himself.

Next -> | Masterlist

[kentocrush]

03. ,, mitski + jjk

since twitter flopped on my mitski x jjk post ive decided to wrap it over to my real fans Tumblr (thank you) I am so enthusiastic about mitski and jjk equally so I have gathered a wide assortment of mitski lyrics/songs and jjk characters that fit each other! warning for obvious JJK SPOILERS (if I do end up explaining a few) I'll probably make a part two.

YUJI ITADORI + CRACK BABY "Crack Baby, you don't know what you want // But you know that you had it once // and you know that you want it back" I know damn well that Yuji misses what he had before, how he wishes for a normal life (even if he won't always admit it) but truly - he was cursed from the start, and he will never truly know what he wants back.

GETO SUGURU (HS) + I WANT YOU "you're coming back // and its the end of the world // we're starting over // and i love you, darling // and i'm done, dear" very much in reference to the KFC scene, but also Gojo in general. Theres not too much to talk about but I really emphasize the "we're starting over" although, they aren't really. Theres no starting over.

MAI ZEN'IN + I DONT LIKE MY MIND "inside the walls of my skull, waiting for its turn to talk // and it may be in a few years // but you can be its tere, waiting still // for me to be left alone in a room full of things ive done"

theres really no explaining to do here. As much as I dont really like Mai - she makes me so sad. especially with the hints on her relationship with Naoya??? fml!!!!!!

SUKUNA RYOMEN + COP CAR "am cruel, i am gentle, i can make you laugh // i have loved many boys, i have loved many girls // i dont think about the past, its always there anyway"

if you get it.. you get it. I really dont know how to explain blahhh...

JUNPEI YOSHINO (+ MAKI ZEN'IN) + CLASS OF 2013 "Mom, would you wash my back? // This once, and then we can forget // And I'll leave what im chasing for the other girls to pursue"

FML!!!!!! god I hate this but., RBGUBVUDHBSSIJ

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO + CLASS OF 2013 (LIVE) "Mom, am I still young? // can I dream for a few months more?"

this is a sign for me to stop

GOJO SATORU (ADULT) + I BET ON LOSING DOGS

Literally the entire song is him idk guys. like his babies are his students andall he wants to be is the proudest teacher and father and he's just doing a great job. I fw Gojo Satoru. but GOD this song is so him im gonna fucking los

SHOKO IEIRI + FIRST LOVE/LATE SPRING "Lately, I've been crying like a tall child // So please, hurry, leave me, I can't breathe // please don't say you love me."

Shoko deserves so much better I say. im also listening to this song right now soo.

KENTO NANAMI (HS) + I GUESS "I guess... // I'll have to learn how to be somebody else // Its been you and me since before I was me // without you, I don't know quite how to live"

dont even get me STARTED!!! Haibara was His ONLY classmate and one of his ONLY close friends and he literally died and left kento alone. Nobody understood kento like Haibara did - and he lost his youth which is hwy kento wants to protect it so much nowww.

YUUTA OKKOTSU + THE FROST "You're my best friend // Now I've no one to tell // How I lost my best friend"

I actually love this song so much..! I feel a lot of people assume satosugu with this song but nobody else at the tech at all knew Rika like he did -- and he didn't really have anyone to TRULY understand the lost of rika like he himself did. let my boy get understood.

NOBARA KUGISAKI + REMEMBER MY NAME "Cause I need somebody to remember my name // after all I can do for them is done // I need someone to remember me // I need something bigger than the sky // Hold it in my my arms and know its mine"

I dont know how to put this into a lot of words. She wants to be known - become someone strong and someone that people can look up to.........

yayyy!!!! ill def try to cook up some more but with other artists zs well. I listen to a lot of mitski, laufey, and Tyler but I listen to others too.... give me some recs if you want!!!

always - likes and reblogs are appreciated !!!! (as well as comments I love to talk)

[tragicclownwrites]

Why the ending of "Sponge-Cano!" was great SquidBob fodder

Hello! I'm back with an analysis post as I came across something recently and wanted to share some thoughts.

I'm likely late to the game here, but I saw an old post in which the author (a fellow SquidBobber) was upset by the ending of "Sponge-Cano!" and I just have to say... huh!?

Were we watching the same episode? 🤨

Needless to say, I was thoroughly perplexed by this reaction because I personally read into it much differently. Then again, I am a clown.

Therefore - in the spirit of friendly fandom discourse - I wanted to provide another perspective on this episode. Absolutely no shade to the OP either - people are allowed to have differing opinions, after all.

If you're with me, let's clown around below the cut!

The lie that started it all

Before we dive in any further, let's take a look at the scene that started this whole conversation.

Essentially, after Squidward's heartfelt confession to SpongeBob, while he's hanging on for dear life over a boiling volcano...

Squidward: "Please SpongeBob, I didn't mean any of that! I do appreciate your friendship. I am grateful. I'm… I'm… I'm grateful for the life I'm living! Who knows how long I'll have it? I learned that from you, remember?"

He says this after being rescued by his true love SpongeBob:

Squidward: "You know SpongeBob, in light of everything that just happened... I lied to you. I am not grateful for anything! I mean look at me. I don't even have a roof to sleep under, anymore!"

Now, this is the moment that had the OP so heated about this episode. After everything he said, after SpongeBob saved his life, he just... lied?

Weeeell, not exactly.

The truth always reveals itself

Now, for my hot take... I don't think Squidward was lying at all when he said he was grateful for SpongeBob.

Before you immediately decide that I've completely out-clowned myself this time, just hear me out!

There are a few reasons Squidward may have reacted the way he did in the aftermath of the volcano debacle.

He's Squidward

Our man's just lost his whole fucking house for the billionth time

The reality of what he just said is slowly catching up with him

He's Squidward

Unlike his more chipper counterpart, the guy doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve and has been shown to struggle with vulnerability and admitting failure. I mean, he can barely manage to apologize for his less savory actions without choking and sputtering like a fool!

However, when his life was on the line in this scene, he was vulnerable in more ways than one. Physically, he was quite literally dangling over an active volcano - you can't get more vulnerable than that! Emotionally, he bore his soul to SpongeBob because he thought he was going to die and wouldn't have another chance to say any of that again. Keep in mind, he truly believed he wouldn't live to see SpongeBob ever again.

I've mentioned this in my Reigisa x SquidBob masterpost, but there have been several other instances where - particularly, in a dire situation - Squidward will openly admit that he has always liked/cared for SpongeBob. And similarly, he's also tried to take it back or act like he didn't mean it when everything turns out okay or if other people aside from SpongeBob hear his confession.

So, as much as he "hates" SpongeBob and can't stand him, when it really counts, the truth always reveals itself.

Is it possible that he was just trying to play at SpongeBob's heartstrings to save his own ass? Perhaps.

But then, he accepts his fate. He loses his grip, giving everyone a tearful farewell. That is, until his little yellow angel comes to his rescue.

SpongeBob: "Squidward, I always knew you felt that way. Aw, buddy. Thanks for finally opening up to us."

⬆️Just look at the pure love in his eyes! (*Patrick voice*: LOOK AT IT!) The sappy sponge was even prepared to sacrifice himself for him. 🥺

While there was absolutely no way SpongeBob would actually let Squidward perish - promises be damned - it wasn't until Squidward poured his heart out, putting his true feelings towards SpongeBob out in the open, that he was saved from certain death.

You know how they say, "the truth will set you free"? No kidding!

As for why SpongeBob was completely fine with Squidward's lie after the fact (another point of contention for OP), well... he loves him. Period. And I think, despite his emotional constipation and frequent annoyance with the sponge in question, it's pretty clear Squidward loves him, too.

Therefore, SpongeBob wasn't upset by Squidward's outburst here because, as naïve as he may be, I don't think that fact is lost on him either.

In conclusion...

I think it's safe to say that "Sponge-Cano!" was a pretty great episode to add to the ever-growing SquidBob pile.

And if you thought the scene I talked about above was the last of it, ohohoho~ 🤭😏

You. Just. Wait.

At the very end of the episode, after Squidward loses his home and complains that he no longer has "a roof to sleep under anymore," SpongeBob does what SpongeBob does best: he offers to help him out.

Even after Squidward's selfish actions in "Can You Spare a Dime?" (which had some great fodder as well, such as *ahem* Squidward making SpongeBob wear a sexy maid outfit), SpongeBob still lets him stay at his house for an indefinite amount of time. Continuity? I don't know her.

To which, this gets even better.

Squidward doesn't refuse and find somewhere else to crash. After all, wasn't SpongeBob the reason he was miserable enough to be sacrificed in the first place? Why would he subject himself to even more SpongeBob, if that were the case?

At SpongeBob's house, he doesn't sleep on the couch or in a spare room. He doesn't even take SpongeBob's bed for himself while SpongeBob sleeps elsewhere - just like he did in "Can You Spare a Dime?"

NO.

The two of them share SpongeBob's bed. As in, they sleep in the same bed together.

Are these two fucking serious!?

They totally cuddled. Maybe even kissed.

All that to say, as much as Squidward whines and gripes about how much SpongeBob makes him miserable, it's clear to see that - even in the face of life-threatening adversity - SpongeBob's presence in his life is the key to his happiness. In this case, the key to his survival as well.

Now, if only our favorite grumpy octopus would take that spongey key, embracing him fully, to unlock that door... 🌈

[sorrelchestnut]

Birds on a Wire, Lucanis/f!Rook, 4/?

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

Rook's grown considerably less resistant to his blandishments since those early midnight meetings; these days luring her into a nap is as simple as climbing into bed and asking her to join him for a while.  Lucanis waits a few minutes to make sure she is well and truly out before rising to retrieve the luggage left outside the door by a soft-footed servant - along with a second bag of elf-sized clothing in a variety of what he assumes are current fashion in Antiva, so clearly someone did their due diligence on Rook's pack already.  He ferries the whole lot of it inside to pile on his desk and unpacks their bags into the wardrobe, knowing damn well that the maids will come along tomorrow and do it again to their satisfaction.  It's for his sake, really.  Trying to remind himself this is where he's supposed to be.

(never happy here. not like THERE. why did we leave?)

The Lighthouse was never theirs to keep, not really.  Even Spite must know that.  Either Lucanis would die pitting his blade against the gods-

(mine, mine, mine!  they cannot have you!)

-or they would triumph, and live, and then leave.  That was the deal.  Lucanis delayed as long as he could, but the vacation was always going to come to an end at some point.  He was always going to come home.

(tears in dark corners. old misery in stone. this isn't home.  this is a prison!)

Perhaps, but it is one that Lucanis walks into with his eyes wide open.  This is his responsibility, his contract.  He cannot be other than what he is, other than what has been made of him.  He can only hope, with a desperation that borders on fervor, that the burden will not prove too great to be shared.

(yours.  mine.  OURS.)

“How many new outfits did they foist on me?”

Lucanis doesn't start at the welcome intrusion of Rook's sleep-roughened voice: she's always had a sense for his darker moods.  “Only three so far, but I wouldn't be surprised to find a few more slipped in tomorrow.”

“Please tell me at least one of them is in something other than black, blue, or gray.”

Silently he holds up the black tunic he was folding.  “This one has some gold braid.”

“S'pose they tried, at least.”  In the mirror he watches as she pushes herself to a sitting position against the headboard, sleep-rumpled and bleary.  “How long was I out?”

“No more than an hour.  We still have some time before dinner.”

“Do I need to dress up?”

“Tonight, no.  Tomorrow, when Catarina is back…”  He clicks his tongue in a wordless shrug.  “Maybe we visit the markets tomorrow?”

She snorts.  “Do your worst, pet.  Long as I keep my sword, I'm happy.”

“Oh that's not a concern.  A Crow without a blade is worse than naked; it's like bringing a dog to the dinner table.”

He waits for her to say the obvious - I'm not a Crow - but she only hums in vague acknowledgement.  “My favorite people,” she says around a yawn, and stretches extravagantly, undershirt riding up at her tanned belly.  “Alright, I'm up, I'm moving.  Let's do this thing.”

In Lucanis's experience, most people who need to declare that they are awake are several steps removed from actually being so.  Rook, ever contrary, is up and out the door before Lucanis can finish dressing for dinner.  Rolling his eyes - does she even know where the kitchens are? - Lucanis lets Spite follow the scent of her soap through the back hallway into the library, where he finds her wandering the lower balconies with her hands firmly tucked into her pockets.

“Looking for something in particular?”

“You know me, dove, not much of a reader.”  There's some kind of tension in her voice, some minute thread of unhappiness whose provenance he can't quite identify before she shrugs it away and smiles at him.  “Just went the wrong way is all.  This place is a bloody maze.”

(closed doors. boarded windows. doesn't want you to see.)

Lucanis can't imagine what Rook could possibly be ashamed about in this house.  Nevertheless, it is not something to be picked at and unraveled here, where any watchful eyes could see, so he only says, “All the better to trap the unwary,” and comes up behind her to put his hands on her hips.  “That would be less of a problem if only you'd stop running off.”

Rook shifts her elbows to make room for him to rest his weight against her back the way she likes, caging her in against the balustrade.  “Yeah, but then you'd think I was a fake again, might need to call Emmrich for an exorcism.”

(hands still in her pockets.)

Lucanis noticed that too.  He slides his hands from her hips to her tattooed forearms, playing his fingers along the bones of her wrist.  “Mm, can't have that.  This many books?  He wouldn't come out for a week.”

There's a pause, where he worries he might have misread the source of her upset - and then her hands come up to twine with his, and her muscled body goes lax against him.  “You'll have to invite him then.  Give Manfred a break.”

“We'll do that.  Bellara, too.”  Lucanis hooks his chin on her shoulder and sighs.  He could stay here for hours, he thinks, just like this, and not count a second of it wasted.  Even Spite grows quiet if it means listening to the sound of her heart.

Still: “Come now, querida.  I know you must be starving.”

He can feel her smile against his cheek.  “You knew what you were getting into when you signed up to feed me.”

“I believe House Dellamorte is up to the challenge.”  With the greatest of reluctance, he unpeels himself from her back, and offers her once more his arm.  “Shall we?”

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

miles kane, swg3 glasgow 01/02/2024

oh my god oh my GOD i don't even know where to start. last night was hands down not just one of the best gigs of my life, but one of the best nights of my life full stop. it's twenty four hours later and my heart just feels so full and i still can't stop smiling with pure happiness 🥹 i've been to a LOT of gigs over the years, and a lot of those have been really amazing gigs too - but this one. wow. there was truly just something so special about this one that i know i'll carry with me for a long time to come 💗

i feel like i could ramble endlessly about all the things that made it so incredible (i.e. literally everything), so to try and avoid writing an actual essay, here are a few bullet points of my favourite things:

being right in the front row was AMAZING for obvious reasons, but also because of the number of times miles made eye contact with me and smiled at me as he was singing 😭 (naturally any time this happened i smiled back like a total idiot and forgot all the words) me and the lovely human i was there with were the only ones at the barrier who were really getting into it at the start, and i got the sense he loved seeing how much we were loving being there 💗

miles just has the most incredible energy ✨ that's absolutely something you pick up from listening to his music, watching interview etc - but it's quite something else to experience in person. the moment he walks into a room he just gives off such good vibes and such warmth. there's such a sense of groundedness to him as well as all the amazing passion, and also idk. i feel like in person you can really feel the sensitivity and vulnerability that's so present in his music too. he truly lights up a room and just has such a knack for holding everyone captive 💫

getting to witness miles being overwhelmed and unable to stop smiling at how enthusiastic the crowd was truly wonderful 🥹 you could just *feel* how much it all meant to him, and watching him get all the love and appreciation he deserves was just magic 💖

at the end, he came down into the crowd towards me and was making direct eye contact and then he FUCKING SPOKE TO ME??????? 😭 i was too dazed to actually take in what he was saying (i'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of "i like your necklace" but honestly who knows lol), and it was very brief because naturally i wasn't the only person in the crowd he was saying hi to, but fucking HELL. i was totally, totally unprepared 😭 i then had the privilege of a sweaty miles kane leaning over me to high five the people behind me, and i held his hand and - yeah. it was all so truly surreal that i might think i'd imagined it if it wasn't for the fact i can literally see the moment in this video 😭

i was there with @perfectly-clear-from-here and we were both just utterly ECSTATIC after the show, it was amazing getting to share the sheer giddy joy of all that with one of the loveliest humans i know 💜

and then of course (as if all of that wasn't already enough to make it the most wonderful night), we MET MILES after the show 😭😭 i've already rambled about that here so i won't do it again, but - yeah. let's just say he truly is the most wonderful person with the loveliest energy, and he is so easy to be around 🥹

the last six months or so have not been easy ones for me, and this felt like the most wonderful break in the clouds that just - idk. really restored me to myself. it was so special to get to experience live so many of the amazing songs that have got me through and been such a comfort in the difficult times, and i am just so endlessly grateful to miles for his courage in creating and sharing all that he shares 💗

**please do not repost my photos without permission**