#there are places in this game where the pics come easily

[hzdtrees]

The Cordon, pt. 2

[viperwhispered]

Notes on Jamil's speech patterns

I was supposed to just pick out some examples of typical Jamil lines. How he speaks, the vocabulary he uses, things like that. Something I could easily refer to when writing to get the tone right.

But then it kinda blew up, oop – because it’s hard to talk about how a character speaks without also dipping into why they say whatever they say.

Plus then I wanted to get examples of Jamil in different moods, and could not resist some poignant things that were more related to his character or backstory rather than strictly the speech patterns themselves, so… It expanded a bit.

Anyways. Some things I noticed he tends to do:

Sighs (more than I realized)

Snarks

Tch (though could be a more general twst writing choice too)

Stutters when he’s flustered / embarrassed / caught of guard (what a cutie)

Goes ahem like an old man when he’s trying to get back on track in those off-kilter moments

Kinda formal with his manner of speech and choice of words (especially in servant mode) (I always worry I exaggerate this but he sure does do that)

But there’s still some animatedness with the way he emphasises words, for example

(so long-suffering and ready to bark out directions to Kalim oh boy - the way the directness just comes through when he loses it)

sugarcoating his opinions if he doesn’t feel like he can say them plainly (tyrant becomes rigorous, etc.)

sarcasm, sometimes with a side of deadpan, sometimes with a smirk

“Good grief” (another thing I didn't realize was that much of a catchphrase)

Very mild on the level of insults & swears honestly, (I mean, "drat"?) but I imagine this is more of a result of the game's rating (I guess for in-game reasons we can say he's been very conditioned by his upbringing)

I put the screenshots that seemed telling, and some related notes, on to a google sheet. That way one can filter and order it in various ways.

The sheet is probably best viewed on a computer or another larger screen, the screenshots might make it a bit difficult to navigate on mobile.

I did go in with the assumption that Jamil might speak differently pre-overblot (when the servant mask is firmly in place) and post-overblot (at least those occasions where he allows himself to be more honest). Like, there’s the sycophantic (as Leona calls it) flatterer, versus when Jamil’s honestly voicing his own thoughts. Which also shows in how I chose to categorize the screenshots.

Of course events are a bit wibbly wobbly in relation to the main story so can’t be placed in the timeline in the same way, but there are still those occasions where it seems you can tell the difference between the servant mask and a Jamil who’s not saying things just for the sake of appearances.

So, to explain the logic of the sheet:

First column has a screenshot of something Jamil says. The second two columns give the source.

The column for whether or not this happened before or after the overblot is only really used for main story things, since event stories are kinda murky timeline-wise.

Next is whether Jamil seems to be putting on the servant mask or speaking more honestly. This is where get more to interpretation territory, and I’ve not applied it to every screenshot (either because that didn’t seem like the relevant part for that line, or because I couldn’t tell).

The last column of the sheet is where we get most to my personal interpretations. So of course you might read these lines differently than I do, and that’s completely fine, these are simply the aspects that seemed poignant to me. Some notes are simply pointing out specific word choices or style of speech, others delve more into character analysis side of things.

Totally fine if you want to copy this file or modify it to your own needs. All I ask is that you don’t pass off anything I wrote as your own thoughts.

Order of lines is based purely on the order the pics were in my screenshots folder, so guess this is also an insight on the order I played things in, lol.

Tagging some jamil peeps in case y'all find this useful:

@crystallizsch @diodellet @moonyasnow @twstgo @lex752

@majestickitty @viperbunnies

[moviestarmartini]

madridista by association. — carlos sainz x f!reader

summary: after expressing a small interest, carlos wants to go all in teaching his girlfriend about his beloved club. too bad you’re a bit... resistant at first.

warnings: none! mostly a smau, short paragraphs as intro. pre-established relationship. few sentences in spanish. part of a series !

fc: blanca soler

“Can you check your DMs?”

Carlos looked at you with those pairs of big brown eyes that easily couldn’t have a single thought behind them.

You didn’t even look up from your computer before replying. “De por Dios Carlos, I’m not seeing yet another Real Madrid post!”

You felt the couch sink lower next to you, turning your face to find him staring directly at you. “But you said you wanted to get into my team!” He let out softly and it resembled a whine.

“Yes! But at home! Where I can hear a commentator explain every single thing!” You fussed back, going back to your work.

He scooted closer— you noticed by the hot air coming down your neck— and puckered his lips out to you.

“I’ll explain everything. I’ll show you pictures of the players and what each of them does out on the field.” He batted his eyelashes at you.

I mean, you did say you wanted to start learning more about ‘el club de sus amores’ (his words, not yours), so you were really up against the wall here.

“You’re lucky I’m a woman of my word.” You lamented as if he was forcing you to do atrocities.

“Ay te amo!” He closed the computer, placed it aside and hugged you tightly. “You’ll love mi Madrid, I promise.”

liked by carlossainz55, fernandoalo_official and others.

yourusername go sports !

see 3789 comments

carlossainz55 I told you so

-> yourusername no no no, no empieces. i was still clueless AND stressed

-> username LMAOOO

-> username “you didn’t tell me shit 🙄”

username i’ll never get over that one pic of her looking stressed tf out while carlos is yelling in her ear

-> yourusername he was explaining who joselu was when he was being subbed in ☠️ it was just too loud and we were losing (ik it’s my first live game i just don’t like losing.)

-> username losing? not around here partner.

-> username baby’s first remontada awww

username he bought her a scarf 🥹

-> username god i see what you’ve done for others

alexandrasaintmleux the pic outside the stadium is so cute !

-> yourusername gracias lindura 🥰

-> alexandrasaintmleux lindura tuuuu 🤭

-> charlesleclerc bye

username barça better 🥱

-> yourusername dembélé 40’, vitinha 54’, mbappé 61’ (P), 89’

-> fernandoalo_official 🤣🤣

-> pierregasly 😎😎

-> yourusername gtfo with your oil money club y’all still got eliminated

-> pierregasly @ carlossainz55 what have you done. she’s RUDE now

-> username me voy que aquí papean

A/N: i’m writing part two as we speak! i think it’s going to be a three parter, so i hope y’all enjoy this new venture aka me writing for carlos. besitos !!

[front-facing-pokemon]

do you have any good dutch angle pics of pokemon?

i had to google what this was, actually. from the looks of it, i could easily do a dutch angle, but i don't think it would look very visually interesting, because of the lack of a floor that i place pokémon on. when i do my angles, the pokémon are generally floating in space:

for a dutch angle to be interesting, i think it requires for there to be a background and a ground for the hypothetical camera to be placed on. otherwise, it just looks like i tilted them to the side:

traditionally just with the way the blog works, the background and composition of the image isn't necessarily the purpose. it's about focusing on the pokémon itself looking silly. this is an interesting idea, though—and if you mean something else, then i'd be interested to experiment, i suppose

further asks…

hiii :) today has been slow but i probably was when you sent this. i hope you are too!

such a prolific video. and honestly i just despise the way servine's voice sounds. why'd you make it sound like that, guys. it does not look like it sounds like that. sssSssiiiirr Viiine ! c'mon

like which pokémon i think will be difficult to come up with angles for? anything with a pngface, really. whirlipede is actually one that i didn't anticipate beforehand but when i had to do it to put up the polls this morning, i couldn't think of ANYTHING. pokémon that are generally a very strange shape like that but that don't have super defined faces are gonna be difficult. sigilyph comes to mind, perhaps—but mostly pngfaces. especially like. tadbulb and anything that looks like that. those are gonna be so boring, i'm afraid. but hopefully i can come up with something. klink and that whole line are coming up soon but i've got no clue what to do there. they're just fuckin gears. it's the pokémon like that—where their designs are very straightforward and not really viewable any differently from any particular angle. not super funny. i like pokémon that get real bad expression syndrome—shit like klink is just like. okay. gears. i guess. what do i do with that

anyway, backlog bonanza continues tomorrow! thank you to everyone who showed up for in stars and time—now we must move onto something else! i'll likely reblog a poll from my main blog in a moment to decide what game we go with tomorrow—and that will continue being the backlog bonanza title every saturday until we finish that! i hope to see you there, dear reader

[sourtomatola]

Vampire Equinox drabble for the Eclipse SIMP's

Based off this pic I drew

Your back hit the silk red sheets, almost knocking the wind out of you. You would have tired to get up if you weren’t currently gawking at the towering behemoth that is an Animatronic Vampire staring down at you. He effortlessly held one of your hands against the sheet, your entire hand fitting in his upper palm, large fingers stretching like a spider sitting comfortably.

"Well well, breakfast in bed? How delightful~" He grinned down at you. His glowing yellow eyes washed over you as his free hand reached for the clasp on his cloak. His starry cape slipped into his free hand as he set it elegantly aside and placed a knee on the bed.

You were frozen in fear, but upon feeling the bed being weighed down near your legs, you began to squirm and look away for an escape. You grabbed his wrist and pulled at it, determined to get away from this creature with glistening yellow fangs. You scooted your legs away from him, thinking you could possibly twist yourself away. Your desperation growing as you felt more and more trapped under this creature.

“Hmm?” He watched you for a second in amusement, simply keeping your hand held in place. It was only when you tried to roll into a sitting up position that he suddenly leaned in, his face suddenly so close to yours. The glow of his yellow eyes made you feel like a deer in the headlights. You slowly backed away, but your heart jumped into your throat at the realization that he followed you perfectly, making it near impossibly to make space between you two.

Pressing into the sheets now, you could only quiver in place under the Vampire Lord’s sights.

 “P…please…” The single word escaped your breathless lips.

“No need to be shy Little Robin, I am not making any judgements on you.” He assured, as if that was really on your mind right now!

He started to lean closer, but you pressed into the mattress harder, hoping it would swallow you up and save you. His knee nudged between yours, making you feel vulnerable for but a moment before you realized you could use it. You put your knee against his thigh and used it to scoot yourself farther away from his face. You slid easily on the silk sheets, but not far.

“Your amount of fighting is admirable, but unneeded. The game is over.” He said with frustrating patience. Frustrating to you, since now you’re starting to reach the point where you wished he would just get it over with and stop playing with you! He was always like this though, seemed to love to play with his food.

His knees now fully supported himself on the bed, and his free hand placed next to your head. You saw him come closer and tried to press away again, but his free hand slid under your neck and pulled your head upwards to him. Your eyes forced to look into his, but there was no hypnotism, no mercy. He wanted you conscious as he took what he wanted.

His eyes then glanced down to your neck before leaning down. You struggled in one last ditch effort to get away, to convince him not to hurt you again. His larger body kept you from being able to kick or fight much farther than weak struggles and whimpering.

You felt his fangs ghost over your skin, as if trying to find the most ample spot to bite. He was teasing you. Still, after all of it, he was teasing you again!

Finally, his four fangs plunged into your flesh, making you cry out and tense up under the pain. You knew your fighting was just making your blood rush faster, and make it easier for him to drink, but there was not much more you could do under this animatronic horror. You were powerless against this supernatural machine.

You felt your head starting to get light, still cradled in his metal fingers. “Too…too much!!” You gasped, realizing your vision was trying to grow dark from blood loss.

He shushed you softly and left a gentle kiss to your neck before going back to your seeping wound. Your free hand reached around him, grasping desperately at his back in an attempt to hit or pull him off of you. He continued to drain you, unbothered.

As your vison started to close in faster, you could hear his softly chuckle. “Tenacious little darling…I shall savor you.”

Vampire Equinox Eclipse by @miwachan2

[acetypeface]

Random TUA Headcanons, Pt. 1

I was thinking about what sort of uncles (and aunt) the Hargreeves siblings would be. Since we may get to see those dynamics in s4 (the Klaus and Claire pic has got me hyped) it's time to share my silly thoughts.

This isn't speculation; I don't really do that. These are merely random ideas of mine (and all very soft because I can't be an angst writer all the time). Enjoy! ^.^

Below the break.

LUTHER

Helps teach them how to drive, and really enjoys it, too.

Has karaoke sessions in the car with his nieces when he drives them around. He tries to sing all the parts and makes them laugh.

Takes them to planetariums, rocket launches, and shows them how to work a telescope; he'll map the night skies with them for hours.

Was always the favorite when it came to playing hide-n-seek or tag; he invented a game called "crazy monk" where he makes scary faces and chases them around the house.

Could carry one niece on each shoulder easily; they loved it.

DIEGO

Is there for them after their first break-up. He takes them to a rage room and they have a grand time smashing things to bits.

Teaches them self-defense, as well as how to properly throw a knife. He may have gifted them their first knife a little too early, though.

Attends all of their sports games and track meets, and is there to scream and cheer from the sidelines (or shout at the ref if needed).

Learned how to style hair so he could give his daughter and niece all sorts of fun and dramatic hairdos; on speed dial for "crazy hair day" at school.

ALLISON

The one who takes them out for their first drink when they turn 21.

Likes to buy a lot of little presents for them, although they'll occasionally get jump-scared by something huge, like a new car.

Loves to go on trips with them; was definitely their travel companion for their senior graduation trip.

Helped them get ready before prom and took way too many pictures, all of which she cherishes greatly.

Would absolutely be the one to give "the Talk", because all of her brothers were too awkward to do it for their own children. Is excellent at giving a quick and concise sex ed course.

KLAUS

Would love to take his nieces to get their nails done (he'd get his done, too).

Loves to go get ice cream, boba, and other little treats with his nieces.

Is definitely the one bringing home puppies, kittens, hamsters, etc. as birthday presents.

If any of his nieces/nephews were to come out as queer, he'd be wildly supportive. He'd go with them to get their hair cut and buy new clothes if they were trans, or support them at Pride, or just overall be the coolest uncle ever.

FIVE

Acts like he could care less, but remembers all of the tiny, insignificant details such as their favorite color or favorite flavor of ice cream.

Will pick them up from anywhere, no lectures, no questions asked. Also won't tell their parents if they don't want him to.

Became very distressed the first time one of his nieces was bullied; his siblings had to remind him that he was not allowed to murder a kindergartner.

Unironically refers to them as his siblings' "spawn" and "offspring".

Asks his nieces for help when it comes to using his phone.

Would take his nieces to Starbucks or Dutch Bros (is this too niche to my area?), even if he thinks their coffee tastes like shit, because he likes to see them smile when they drink their overly sugary drinks.

(UMBRELLA) BEN

The absolute best at reading bedtime stories. He'd do goofy voices and end up keeping his nieces awake because they'd be too busy giggling.

Helps them study for tests and exams (they always get the best grades when Uncle Ben helps them).

Is an extremely good listener and gives some of the best advice. He never judges them for their mistakes, but always suggests how they might grow and move forward.

Happy to help his nieces on their curiosity voyages; likes to take them to museums and other places of learning.

VIKTOR

Would attend every musical, dance recital, talent show, and performance his nieces were in. He'd be in the back with big bouquets of roses and whistle and cheer at all the right moments.

Likes to take them to do the ordinary, menial things he wished he could do as a kid, such as going to the zoo or an amusement park.

Loves to talk and FaceTime with his nieces; he never misses a single call.

Is happy to pay for any artistic hobbies his nieces want to pursue, such as music lessons or drama camps.

Have any other headcanons about the Hargreeves as aunt and uncles? Lemme know in the replies or the reblogs!

[lunicho]

Bunny. Bunny. I fear I cannot handle this, ever since I seen these pics they will not leave my mind 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Making me think,, Kyungmin who fucks you in the elevator because he’s so pent up? Frustrated with you to the point where there’s not even a lenient sliver of patience left in his being. An arm wrapped snug around your neck, preventing you from looking anywhere else but from the way he fucks up into you, his free arm steadily holding his phone from below as he records the way you make a mess over his cock, hearing his faint babbles in the recording when he plays it back, going on and on about how good it must feel finally having his attention. “‘s just what you wanted, hm?” The overhead lighting catching at the way his veins become even more pronounced from how warm his body is due to being in the confined space. GOOOOOSH. Him being pissed off but it’s just mutually so needy and sensual and 😣😣😣

KYUNGMIN MERCY PLEASE PPLEASPLEASEPLEAEEPLEASE.

SAI. saisaisaisaisaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii oh ur so crazy for this. i feel like kyungmin gets so needy so easily and so fast. he's impatient and very touchy so when he's needy you'll absolutely know it so if you ignore him, brush him off, tell him to wait it's so possible for him to start getting so so frustrated. especially when he knows you want him just as bad but you're just playing a stubborn little game. like you said he'd have no leniency for you and u can tell by the way he handles you, his grasp on you being so rough as he has you bend over as he moves any piece of clothing that's obstructing him from getting to u faster. your attempts to piss him off definitely worked and your light "innocent" touches that you placed on his inner thigh contributed as well. he's got great coordination when it comes to things like this. his hips would snap into you so roughly, his voice breathy as he speaks to you in the recording, remarking about all the things you did that led to this moment, he'd tease u so much, his voice ringing in your ears as u try to keep it together. his arm around your throat would be so firm, his body supporting yours as you struggle to stay upright >.< (losing it)

[rrosiepetals]

don't know if you do ask but got curious what some of your favorite things about Marlon and also maybe your favorite pics of him in game

AAAA love this ask, thank you so much anon!!! I love Marlon and I will take any opportunity there is to gush about him!

Marlon is devoted, he’s got a good heart and wears it right on his sleeve. Take one good look at him and you see someone who’s (trying) to keep it all together. He was genuinely so passionate when talking about how well fortified Ericson’s had become. It was endearing seeing how much he boasted to Clementine about running the place and how he and all the other kids had worked so hard over the years to protect the school. 

He is a tragic character, and although only appearing in one episode, you can sense there is more to him than meets the eye. He is someone who has been weighed down by responsibility and by the world he was forced to grow up in. These kids had been sheltered, most of their lives had been spent surviving at the school. The teachers and other staff they'd looked up to… the ones that were entrusted to take care of them had abandoned them, leaving them for dead. As a result, they had no adult figure to look up to and seek guidance from.

Who could they lean on now?

This is where Marlon comes in; I like how despite his feelings of sorrow and betrayal, he decided to step up and take action, even though he was just as scared and confused as the other kids. It highlights just how much he cares for his friends; he doesn’t want to see them suffer and live in fear. It's a scary world out there; practically anywhere they go, it could mean death. However, as determined as ever, Marlon strives to make the best of their situation, and they work together to make Ericson the home that they never truly had before the apocalypse. The fondness in Louis' voice when he talks about him is really heartwarming and goes to show how dedicated he was when playing into the leader role.

Marlon is a person who will do anything in his position to protect his friend's safety. As the self-proclaimed leader of the abandoned boarding school, he goes to great lengths to ensure that everyone is well fed and has a good night’s sleep. When he speaks with Clementine, you can see the desperation in his eyes; shouldering so much responsibility alone for so many years is hard. Despite his doubts that cloud him, he attempts to make it work with the limited resources they have.

The situation involving the twins is extremely heartbreaking from both perspectives. Some people paint Marlon as this “heartless villain” who will just willingly hand over his friends like it’s nothing. I want to pose some questions. Do you think he wanted to hand them over? Did you think he hasn’t gone days upon days without sleeping? Wrecked with the guilt of his decision? Spending hours trying to come up with some sort of rescue plan to get them back? It doesn’t erase the fact that he knew these kids… he grew up with them in this fucked up world. He’s literally still a kid himself! What was he to do in a situation where all he had was a gun practically pointed at him by adults who could easily overpower them? Perhaps he could’ve handed himself over, however what would happen then? They’d just come back anyways and take the rest of the kids without a second thought.

At the end of the day, he wanted to be a good leader and good friend to everyone at the school. He kept all his worries and stress to himself so that the spirits of the school weren't weighed down because of him. He was so insistent that everyone abided by the safe zone rule so much to avoid any conflicts that could disrupt the peace they made for themselves. Thus, these built up emotions/worries caused his eventual downfall and he died thinking that all his friends potentially hated him for what he did. Watching those hurt and dejected looks on their faces when being confronted.. especially the look of sadness from his best friend. It hurt more than anything. I love how they handled Marlon, even if I wished he and many others had more screen time to truly shine, the amount of impact they had is worth it. Also many love towards his va Ray Chase, he put in his all with that performance!!!! 👏

A bit of a side note as well: Marlon had broken his own rule regarding the safe zone as he managed to save Clementine and AJ outside the train station. Why was he out there in the first place? I believe that he was actually planning to scout the Delta from afar, finding any weak spots necessary before making a solid rescue plan to get Sophie and Minnie back. No one else was with Marlon at the time as far as we know, only him and Rosie when he refers to "when we found you." I could be wrong but that’s what I’d like to think.

As far as picture wise go I have a few of them! Mainly love the ones where he’s smiling!!!

[ipilokko]

ALRIGHT splinter cell rant it was about tiiiimmee

Alright i know i was obsessed with assassin's Creed before but that was until i played SPLINTER CELL CHAOS THEORY

You see, i love difficult stealth games and doing complete ghost runs. I thought assassin's Creed was pretty good at this (unity and syndicate) but again that was UNTIL I PLAYED CHAOS THEORY.

I actually hesitated buying that game but oh my god i am so happy i did. The STEALTH UGH THE MECHANICS AAAGHHH. YOU LITERALLY USE THE MOUSE WHEEL TO ADJUST MOVEMENT SPEED THAT'S JUST PURE GENIOUS!!! and other mechanics are SO well thought too! There are soooo many details in this game and IMO it can be counted as like rdr2 of the 2005 (detailwise) though i haven't played many game series so idk. But i think the game is WAAYYY ahead of it's time.

ANYWAY after playing chaos theory now i think the assassin's Creed stealth is a JOKE. Ai was always trash in those games so i am not even mentioning.

The games ai is awesome, like i literally get jumpscared by them, somethimes they sneak up on you SO WELL. Though it does have it's flaws. So there's this light-o-meter kinda thing that shows how visible are you/ how much in shadow are you. Sometimes when the thing is at the very left (that means you're completely in the dark) but i be a black figure shaped thing on an empty yellowish wall and be easily spotted yet the guard doesn't notice me. Even on expert (the hardest difficulty the game offers)

That clip is what I'm talking about (i love the sam jumpscare that's why this is in my gallery)

Source- youtube

Oh and it's funny how the guards guard some place that is very far from well lit.

I love lockpicking, i love spotting mics and disabling them, i love tapping cameras, tapping propaganda... It's just so fun rambling around the map and try not to get noticed, trying to manipulate the guards (gobble gobble gobble)

Okay a few cursed sam pics. I kind of hated him when i first started the game because the dialogues felt forced and I didn't like the voice acting that much (my first ever interrogation was the monkey guy in "lighthouse" mission. It literally the first guard you see in the game) but now i like the sam a lot!!!

And when you mind your business walking around the map he just randomly grunts like "awh sTINKS" or "ohhh chilly"

Don't forget the healing sounds 💀 (come on sam a medkit is not that good...)

(comment under a video of the bank mission where the player takes the hidden golden block to the extraction point)

GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE

Sometimes i watch the interrogations fron youtube because i miss them since i don't kill/ko anyone in the game

I REALLY want to play the other games dude. I will get the first one and want to get the double agent v2 (maybe v1 too) BUT THEY'RE FOR PS2 AND NIT AVAILABLE FOR PC this makes me 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Anyway

If you'd like to try splinter cell, there's the link of Splinter cell Pandora tomorrow (the second game of the series– between the first one and chaos theory) available for free. You can't buy it as it's not on mc store or Ubisoft store.

A fan made this port/fixed it (i guess) and it's awesome! Works well with the patches.

I haven't even finished the first mission yet, but i probably finished the 50% of the mission and it runs well! I can't wait to play this after i finish chaos theory.

The moddb link - with all fixes

The steam link - download your own necessary fixes

Also i just can't believe this is the same studio that made the never assassin's creed games. THIS GAME IS JUST AWESOME so MUCH better than ANY of the assassin's Creed games

SOUNDTRACK!!!

when i first played the game the soundtrack felt really different from what I'm used to listen

Here are my favorites in no particular order!

Lighthouse

Bank

Training soundtrack - the bass line is just 😔👌

Cargo ship

Penthouse

Kokubo sosho

[ogamagirl]

there aren't a lot left, but I'm gonna answer the rest of those cat-themed asks under the cut, cause I want to uvu 💕 also an excuse to show off the full version of my new icon because I'm so so in love with this pic of us rn ;/////; (artist is oozegod!)

Tabby: Are they snuggly? Are you? If so, what are your favourite ways to cuddle?

-I am a KNOWN snuggler, I always be snugglin' =w= he's always been touchy-feely too, but in a lower key kind of way (if he's close/comfy with you there's a lot of shoulder/back patting) so it was quite easy to get him to warm up to how much I liked to snuggle and now we both love it TuT we are always touching if we're sitting on the couch together; if we're not in each other's laps/laying on each other we've got our legs crossed against each other or hands on knees or what have you, but once we're home and done for the day we're usually spooning on the couch - our heights lend themselves nicely to me being little spoon and him being big but sometimes we switch it up (gotta give my boy some lil spoon time u3u 💕)

Ginger: Who is the most intelligent? Who is the sensible one? Or do you share one braincell?

-We're both intelligent! While I was a more diligent student than him (which btw is why I befriended Maka first lmfao) he's never been dumb, just not motivated academically. Who's more sensible tends to depend on what the situation is; I think he has more situational awareness/"street smarts" than I do (he's VERY good at reading people's intentions even when they don't make them clear) but in times of heightened emotions sometimes I'm the one talking him down. But I also tend to get more worked up more easily than he does, so in those cases he's always very clear/cool-headed and helps me work through stuff! We might share one brain cell occasionally when we're excited about stuff haha x3 like music or good food...our dumb/goofy sides come out when we're hanging out with our friends as well (you wanna talk about sharing one brain cell activity, put Soul and Black*Star in a room together, when he comes over I have to run damage control loooooool), but overall we're both smart cookies =w=

Siamese: Who is chattier/louder, you or them?

-I'd say we're both fairly quiet unless we know you/are comfy with you? Volume-wise I think Soul speaks more loudly, and even if we're comfy with someone I think I probably have a higher tendency to rambling/chatting at length than he does, so it's a mix haha.

Persian: Are you a high or low maintenance couple? Who has the most rigorous grooming routine? Do you help each other?

-He's a bit higher maintenance than me when it comes to appearance/grooming, he has gel for his hair n stuff/shaves in the mornings and what not. I usually just brush my hair and teeth and I'm good lol, I don't wear makeup or much jewelry, just my scythe pendant + whatever earrings I feel like that day. Sometimes we'll brush each other's hair! 💖

Maine Coon: Are you a stay at home couple, or do you like going on trips together?

-Right now we're more stay-at-home out of necessity tbh; I'd LOVE to go on more trips with him but money....😭 so while we do love traveling/going places together, we've become quite comfy with being homebodies as well - really, as cliche as it might sound, as long as we're together we don't really care where we are TuT we like playing games/watching stuff together so there's always something to do at home, and we like going out and taking walks together too! But someday...I'd like to go so many more places with him 💖

[cerberus253]

So, that Guy Named "Jack" and He Carries a Candle Around

After years not being on my mind, he finally showed up in my dreams some time ago and I've been thinking about him a lot (that's usually how my hyper-fixation gets re-kindled of an old character).

Contains- Canon Info, Headcanon Info (SFW and NSFW)

Veeeerrry long post

Canon:

- Is called "The Boogeyman. The For Real one."

- Poor back posture (is usually seen hunching over)

- Will kidnap you if you say his name out loud

- Loves Pumpkin Pie (just look at him smelling it!)

- Can levitate while awake and asleep, also those tied in his ropes

- Sleeps like a cat, does the "Stinky Face" like a cat (probably just squinting, but it's still cat-like), and does the "Raptor hands" thing

- Likes satirical sitcoms (F Troop)

- Polite and witty (he even holds his pinky finger up when holding his candle)

- Talks in monotone unless very upset

- Likes to eat peanuts

- Is rather one-track minded when kidnapping targets, ignoring those who have not said his name

- Is an escape artist

(pic of Candlej-- uh, y'know, right after Freakazoid (not pictured) trapped him. He got out pretty fast. Look at that cheeky bastard. Love 'im <3)

- The stitches on his mouth actually open up to a mouth (I saw it happen for a few seconds, so it's real)

Headcanon (SFW):

- Shows up and attempts to kidnap those who are actually scared by him, which are usually children.

- Answers to teens and adults if he wants to, since a lot of times it's for shits and giggles, parties, or weird cult stuff. Disrespect with the use of his name will not trigger him in this day and age!

- While Jack appreciates the wanted invitation to just hang out, he's rather an introvert and values his alone time, but does have his social moments.

- If he does show up [for adult strangers], and it isn't for kidnapping, its usually for Halloween-themed occasions (parties, fairs, carnivals, etc). Since it's usually around strangers, he just creeps around, watching people, either finding someone to scare or talking to those who seem interesting to him, or anyone who just comes up and chats to him. If at carnivals or fairs, he'd also play some of the games.

- I honestly believe, when his name is called, Jack can see the situation/setting he'll be getting himself into. Like, if just saying his name aloud will ALWAYS make him appear, then one could easily trap him in some max security prison. He'll know if he's floating into a trap or not, or if the callers aren't worth going after (especially in this day and age). Besides, if he came to everyone's beck and call, he'd be all over the place, and how could some people know about him yet be here? Survival of his kidnapping? Okay, so if you called again, he'd show up again, and now you'll know what to do to stop him. Why would he float into that? Anyway, yeah, I think Jack's picky and will only show up if you're actually afraid of him or are being serious about it.

- Has a strong sweet tooth, and likes salty treats. You will win him over if you can bake well AND bake his favorite things: Pumpkin Pie!

- Enjoys horror media (movies, TV shows, and books), specifically psychological and thriller ones. This includes watching people playing horror games or watching horror videos and get terrified by them. Will eat popcorn to it.

- Goes to candle and occult stores, which are the only places he'll actually pay for things other than rope. Where does he get the money? Uh... *whistles*

- Enjoys moonlit graveyard night walks (floats?), reading in dimly lit libraries, exploring old, haunted abodes, morning Autumn forest walks, etc.

- Pocket Dimension in his gloves, boots, and sack mask. He's gotta put all that rope somewhere.

- When outside of his kidnapping/villain hobby, he doesn't talk to strangers as much, preferring to let the other person go first, then indulging in conversation if he likes them enough.

- Doesn't talk about too personal of stuff unless he really really likes the person.

- Great listener and observer! Will be the kind of guy to remember seemingly small and insignificant details about someone he likes!

- Struggles to express his emotions normally, but when they are extreme they are noticeable (EX: The Peanut Incident of '97).

- Knows how to do all kinds of rope knots, easy and complicated.

- Doesn't mind physical contact, but isn’t the one to initiate unless it’s for scares. A little nervous if it’s romantic/sexual. Despite this, the Ghost-Man is TOUCH-STARVED, he's just unsure when it’s a good time to indulge himself.

- Jack is normally polite, and a little cheeky, to strangers, but when it comes to friends, he's also kind and considerate.

- Doesn't feel bad about kidnapping people, nor what happens to them after. However, if you strike up a good conversation, and get him to like you enough, he might change his mind. It would be a shame if such an interesting and compassionate person were to disappear and never be seen again... Don’t worry, he won’t stalk you (unless…👉👈 maybe he likes you a little too much 🙄)

- Why does Jack like to scare people and kidnap them? Yeah, he's weird, but what if it's because he's lonely and he didn't know how to socialize? Like, what if he was a creepy and weird kid that liked spooky things growing up, so people avoided him and he didn't know how to converse with his peers, so he found out that scaring people was a way to get them to notice him? Ya know, like "bad attention is better than no attention?" So now, as an adult, it's just what he does on a day-to-day basis because he's so used to it? Just a Theory.

- Jack’s a kind of Sheet Ghost. Him and the burlap and cotton/leather apparel are separate, like removable skin. Without it, he cannot eat. He doesn’t have to eat, but he likes to.

- Likes animals that people deem creepy/scary (insects, arachnids, deep sea fish, snakes, bats, etc.), but his favorite ones are black cats.

- Enjoys surprise gifts, including: Old books, old candle holders, baked goods, and spooky/creepy knick-knacks.

- I see him more as a Giver than a Taker kind of guy in any relationship, but when it comes to physical affection, he’s nervous and doesn’t usually initiates unless he can’t help himself, or he knows and trusts you enough.

- If ya wanna be friends with him, ya gotta be open and accepting of his (non-criminal) behaviors. Simply going out of your way to talk to him when he's around tells him you might want to be friends with him.

- If Jack [also] wants to be friends with you, he'll purposefully seek you out on occasions, scaring the shit out of you when you're least expecting it. Then he'll get down to casual stuff.

- If you have some sort of sensual (not sexual) relationship with him, he will accept cuddles and hugs when you need them. In addition, if you have trouble sleeping, he’ll sit/lay next to you to keep you company (might fall asleep himself).

- I’m gonna say this: Jack does, in fact, live somewhere. I am going to headcannon that he lives in an abandoned Victorian mansion that was left alone for so long that even time forgot it and now it sits between Life and Death in mist strewn woods. When people go missing on their own, they may stumble across it, seemingly empty, but Jack doesn’t like that someone literally entered his place so he scares them out. On the other hand, sometimes he invites close friends over for some quiet spooky time, but that hardly ever happens.

- His place is old, dusty, and dirty, which he doesn’t mind, but he also wouldn’t mind if someone wanted to clean it up (maybe that's why he kidnaps people). Just don’t kick out the rats and bats, change the aesthetic of the place, break anything that isn’t already damaged, install too many modern things, that sort of stuff. He still wants it to be old and creepy, but he understands if you need to charge your phone.

- If ya wanna be more than friends with him, ya gotta not only be open and accepting of him, but love the strange, dark, and mysterious things in the world (which includes him). Someone who’s kind, understanding, weird (complimentary), enjoys being alone with him, but also goes along with him when he wants to socialize; someone who isn’t extremely loud and energetic, but does give life and warmth around him; has a lot of similar interest with him, etc.

- Anyway, I think Jack is pretty inept when it comes to people flirting with him. I mean, yeah, he recognizes someone being really nice to him, but to get romantic, even physically? Nah, that's silly! Falling for a ghost is weird! Once he does get it, I think he'd be rather awestruck and confused, not really knowing what to think.

- However, you'll know he reciprocates when he leaves little gifts for you to discover (possibly even a Treasure Hunt!). or maybe even doing small domesticated things, like doing dishes, making breakfast/dinner for you, making your bed, etc. I don't see him doing laundry (undergarment respect) nor dusting, though. If he doesn't do anything, you'll definitely know he's been around because of the smell he leaves behind (candles and smoke).

- He struggles to know when you really need him around when it comes to emotional/mental struggles. Don’t get me wrong, he can recognize when you’re feeling that way, but doesn’t know what to do or if you need alone time, so he’s going to need you to tell him to stay or go, listen or give advice, and/or to touch or not to touch. Whatever it is, he’ll do it for ya because he cares and worries on the inside (referencing back to the struggle to express emotions). Communication 👏 Is 👏 Key 👏

- Not into hook-up culture. Definitely, at least, Grey-A in both romantic and sexual departments. Like, yeah, Elvira, Mistress of Darkness is a very pretty lady that he crushes on, but personally may be a little much for him.

- Appreciates if you helped clean his clothing attire. Being in the woods or a dusty mansion can get ya pretty dirty.

- Isn’t too picky with other peoples’ apparel, but he is fond of gothic attire. I want to say his favorites would be: Traditional, Romantic, Mopey, Victorian, and Medieval.

- Will help you with your make-up, King/Queen ✌️

- Okay listen, I don’t doubt that Jack may stalk people he has strong romantic interest in, because he’s a weirdo, BUT he is RESPECTFUL about it. He will watch you watch TV, doing chores, cooking and eating, doing sit-alone hobbies (reading, art, gaming, etc), doing taxes, sleeping (a BIG one), etc.

- He will NOT watch you do anything too…revealing (showering/bathing, changing, etc). He may be weird and lack certain social skills, but he knows when to look away…

Headcannon (Suggestive/NSFW):

-… HOWEVER, if he knows that he’s allowed to look at you naked, or doing naughty things, he will. He will. Might even sneak up on you to scare you, then to “help you out,” if ya know what I mean~ Despite this, I don’t think he’d be the kind of guy to watch and pleasure himself while doing so. I just can't think of him doing that. He's weird and creepy, not sick and perverted.

- Would set up a relaxing bath (with candles, of course!) for you after a long and hard day, resting against the side of the tub while you’re bathing, watching and listening to you. Maybe helping you wash yourself.

- Jack comes off as a Soft Switch to me, mostly leaning Soft Dom.

- Remember the “he knows how to do all kinds of knots?” Yeah, he’d have fun with bondage. I don’t think he’d be really aggressive with it, but in fact passionate and loving. Wouldn’t want you getting rope burn.

- If he did decide to “unwrap his gift,” he would do it carefully (again, to avoid rope burn) and methodically, speaking softly, monotonously, and sweetly while he comments on how beautiful you (his gift) is 💛

- I mean, you can suggest he use soft or lace-like binding rope fabrics so he doesn’t have to worry about hurting you, but he prefers classic, plant fiber rope 👌

- Expect playful teasing from him, both verbally and physically. Will use words like “naughty,” “silly,” “little tease,” “my beloved toy,” etc, and would tell you to mind your Ps and Qs (English Idiom for “manners”) if you want him to do something for you.

- Will call you sweet nicknames like, “pumpkin,” “darling,” “my dear,” “little moth,” etc.

- Normally he’d be wearing regular burlap cloth, which is rather irritating to skin (luckily he doesn’t have any), but when he wears the softer kind, you know he’s looking for a lot of physical affection.

- With said soft fabric on, Jack can finally really touch and feel you up as much as he wants and as long as he wants, really squishing, massaging, and fondling all those soft and squishy curves and crevices of yours~ 🖤

- If you want to really get him Turned On: LACE. NIGHTGOWNS. Walk around the house with it on, sleep with it on, cuddle with it on, get intimate with it on, etc. Just seeing the delicate fabric loosely hang around your form, and the intricate lace designs flowing around your chest, sides, and edges (also sleeves if applicable) makes him giddy and warm up fast. If you’re not wearing any undergarments underneath, I think he’ll get the message why you’re flaunting yourself in front of him~ 💖

- In addition, since he's so into scaring people, I think he'd be into playing Hide n' Seek/Cat and Mouse, with you hiding (the Mouse) and him seeking (the Cat). He'd be talking a lot during it, saying things like, "Where oh where has my darling gone?~," "I'll find you soon, my pretty~," and "Come out come out wherever you are, little one~."

- Of course, after finding you, he would love for you to try to run from him! "You can run, but you can't hide, my dear!~," "Running only excites me more, once I catch you, my little moth!~"

- After getting caught, "There, finally! I've caught you now, little rascal~ Now to make sure you won't be running from me any longer, love~" *brings out the bondage rope*

- I honestly don’t think he’d be into violent and aggressive sexual interaction. Like, despite his love to scare, I don’t think he’d try to bruise nor hold a real knife to your throat or anything like that. Legit the worst he’d do would be pretending to choke you or leave red marks on your skin.

- Jack’s favorite parts of you are anything squishy and soft, which includes chest/breasts, stomach, love handles, butt, and thighs. He just adores it when you smile and giggle while he lovingly squeezes any of said parts, and will continue to do so for your arousal. Then he’ll go for the other soft and sensitive spot that will surely get you heated and huffing~ 💗 Be careful not to say his full name, though! Or he'll just tighten those ropes around you!

- I’m not sure if intercourse would even be possible, but I know he’d take great pleasure in pleasuring you in any way he can, whether it be massaging, fondling, fingering, or using sex toys on you (maybe he has specific apparel that has a hollow dildo attached to his crotch so he can be in you XD).

- Jack would like really any position, but I think he’d prefer to hug and play with you from behind. He likes to feel you press into him (or he pressing you into him) when you’re rhythmically gyrating from his touch, and even better if it’s into the bed (he wants to be squished by you👌).

- Another location would be in front of a mirror so you, and him, can see yourself getting fondled/fingered/loved/fucked by him, blushing, smiling, and giggling, all the while stealing glances when your eyes aren’t shut from the pleasure. Additionally, turn your head and give him soft yet passionate kisses, using a possible free hand to hold his face against yours, to make him just as giddy👌👌

- One thing he would prefer is doing it in the dark, or dimly lit space with only candles to light it. Maybe start off in a dimly lit room, and one by one, over the course of the passionate and romantic affection, they’d be blown out until pitch blackness. That’s when he’d start fingering/fucking you, when your sense of sight is unreliable so your sense of hearing and touch are strengthened. Kinky AF~

Closing Notes:

- Like I said before, I see Jack as more of a Giver than a Taker. With friends, and close friends, he’s rather tolerant to all kinds of folks: Loud, quiet; eccentric, secluded; freaks, geeks, creeps, and weirdos; neurotypicals and neurodivergent, etc, just don’t be an asshole (racist, sexist, homophobic, a rapist, all that stuff). He enjoys watching the diversity of people.

- However, when it comes to romantic relationships, I see him like how I am: Yeah, I may have a handful of people I crush on/admire, but you have to really catch my interest for me to actually pursue you, which is quite rare.

- The types of people I think Jack would have strong interests in are the quiet, introverted/extroverted-introvert ones, and outcast types. He’d want someone who is kind, sweet, accepting of him, (trying to) understand(s) him, exclusive, mindful, considerate, weird (affectionate), giving, observant, patient, unique, quiet but not shy, has many similar interests as him, indulges in his hobbies, and their weirdness matches his weirdness.

- Then there’s the “darker” side of said person he’d also like: Reflective, mysterious, a loner (but not truly isolating), gloomy, obsessive (with interests and hobbies), struggles to show emotions but can express them, and prefers to have personal/intimate alone time with him rather than dates or parties every weekend.

[goron-king-darunia]

DotNW Draw-a-thon Recap

Links to individual posts and the associated art at the end. But first, some thoughts.

Want to start by saying this was an excellent and very fun event and even though the English fandom is very small, it was fun to participate. I will be adding on more monsters into the sketchbook to fill it up, but probably not at the rate I've been drawing this month. I would like to someday make the complete monsterbook, including the descriptions from the game, organized in groups based on evolution, but that's a big and very casual project for the future. No promises. It's just a shame that such a resource doesn't already exist. There are videos on youtube that let you look at the monsters in a players completed monster book, but none of them go for the little descriptions and all of the videos are ancient potato-quality rips or just straight up filmed from a monitor rather than screen-capped. It's just not the same as big fancy drawings. But also I will never not be salty that you cannot rotate the monsters in the monster book. I wanna see what these guys look like! SOMEBODY PUT EFFORT INTO DESIGNING THEM, LET ME SEE THEM! AUGH!

Skills I learned from this draw a thon:

People are hard to draw. But the Loomis method for heads simplifies a lot of facial anatomy with easy proportions to remember and landmark guidelines that are more than just "draw sphere, draw a cross on that sphere, put your eyes on that cross and manifest a jaw from the ether, slap hair on that and place ears somewhere. You're on your own for the mouth and hairline. Did you do it?" The Loomis method, at least the videos I found, very gently explained where all the lines go and what they're for. Rocky start but I think I'm getting a handle on it? Not an expert, clearly, but I'm getting better.

People are hard. Hands are harder. And yet if I have a reference of exactly what gesture I want to draw, I can do it? Which is very strange. Hand construction still eludes me, so I will be practicing that, along with feet because those are also hard, but I'm actually somehow way better now at just... taking a pic of my hand on the selfie cam on my phone and just... "Okay, yeah, that's what the fingers look like. Makes sense. Let me just slap down the contours for a rough idea of the const-- Oh, nevermind. I just made the hand perfectly the first time..." So yeah, any of the good hands you see are either me looking at my own hand and drawing it directly, me looking at a reference and drawing it directly, or, especially on the monsters, me being incredibly lucky every single time. All the bad hands? Construction or agonizing over trying to utilize indirect reference.

Monsters are easy except when they aren't. Aside from a few small proportion issues that can be easily remedied during the digital inking and coloring phase, I think basically every monster is either exactly what I wanted or pretty damn close. You can see with the Polwigles from 2011 that I was not having a good time trying to construct them. Like, they're spheres, but not really? But they're not hemispheres, and definitely not a hemisphere stacked on a sphere, even though that's the closest approximation. I struggled forever trying to get the body shapes right. And then literally after like, 2 or 3 attempts not shown here on various other projects over the years, I am suddenly the expert with Polwigles? Basically every single doodle I am happy with when it comes to the wigles. They are very inconsistent design-wise between the game and the manga, and since their mouths in the game open almost all the way around during damage animations... I am opting to lean on the design sensibilities of Onshuu no Richter. Still, basically every Polwigle is constructed without reference. So I guess, somehow, after 13 years, I understand the shapes? I dunno how it happened but it did?

I think most of my troubles with the monsters boil down to one of 2 problems: Not being good at construction, that is, constructing unique poses from indirect references to make an educated guess about how a thing would look like from a different angle if we were to rotate or tweak its fundamental shapes in 3 dimensional space. And then not being able to FUCKING SEE THE MONSTERS. JUST LET ME LOOK AT THEM. There are lots of Polwigles from different angles in the manga, so if I NEEDED to use a direct reference, I could. But for the rest of these guys you basically only get the standard 3/4 facing to the left pose from the monster book and if you can even get a clear frame to look at, there's very little dynamism in the pose. The Lailah for example. I wanted to having it point a blade toward the viewer. But the blade is a complicated shape. I am poor with construction so the best I could do is imagine it as a rectangle and sort of carve the contours out of it to the best of my ability to try to get that foreshortened. Because I have no way to study the shape from other angles besides the ones shown directly in the monster book.

The rest of my problems are me standing in my own way. I did try to practice a lot of new skills. Combining references, taking risks, drawing for fun and not just drawing for a final product. And all of them were helpful to a degree. But I think part of the reason my art doesn't turn out well is because I see failing even 2% of the time as being "too much failure." I see anything less than 100% as "not good enough" so I get discouraged and stop trying. Which makes it impossible to learn and grow and also isn't a healthy way to look at art, because even the pros who do this for a living will have pieces that they tear up or don't post because they just... didn't turn out good. To be at a point in my artistic journey where I can even say I like more than half the pieces I did for this draw a thon? That's above average. That's what success looks like for most people.

I think it's the rejection sensitive dysphoria of ADHD. Because I spent so much of my early life either succeeding at everything right away (usually with help and preparation from adults like my mom) and academic "giftedness" I started seeing "success" or "good end products" as things I could reach with little effort. Especially because any time I DID run up against a roadblock or a challenge, I could usually fix it by powering through. Like, if I just did the thing a little harder, I could do it. Which is why whenever I did run up against real challenges, things that needed muscle memory, for example, like riding a bicycle or those Heelie shoes or those waveboards (My obsession with 2 wheeled modes of transportation era was fraught for real) I would have MELTDOWNS because I couldn't just get on a two wheeler bike and go without even learning or trying. Especially because if I saw peers who could do those things "right away" my assumption was always "They're just better than me, I just suck at this thing." and never "they had help learning that I didn't get" or even "different people have different learning curves for the same skills and comparing yourself is a futile exercise."

My assumption was never "that peer spent 3 hours a day for a week falling on their ass just to learn to ride their bike for 3 minutes and then those three minutes eventually became 3 hours and then indefinitely because they finally got the hang of it." My assumption was always "I suck. So if I can't get it in five minutes like they probably did, then I must not be any good and I should give up." Because 5 minutes of really intense effort used to be the magic ingredient to fix the roadblock for other tasks. So I never had reason to assume it wasn't the solution to EVERYTHING.

So I built up this mindset for myself that if I just press harder, I can fix it, and if that doesn't fix it, I can never fix it. And that's been a stumbling block for everything in my life, basically. I brute-forced my way to getting good at basically anything that I'm currently good at. And I'm having to unlearn that. Because growth isn't something you can brute force.

And growth is ALSO not something you can get without failure and risk. Because the other unhealthy mindset I built by brute-forcing my way to success was that I became unfamiliar with failure. Failure was a temporary state of self. My failures were always either easily written off as failure on someone else's part (It's not that I didn't do my homework correctly, it's that the teacher couldn't read it! That's her fault not mine! [incorrect buzzer noise from future me. There are some assignments that I still think this about but, like, no actually young me, a lot of those were actually a you problem and not a teacher problem {The ones that were teacher problems make me livid to this day, but that's another post entirely}]) or they were VERY temporary. "You got this problem incorrect." "Let me look at it again. Okay, I immediately see what I did wrong, I can fix it." "That's correct." "Easy. I just needed to work a little harder." While ADHD, being shuttled ahead through the gifted program, and with how the USAmerican education system treats failure not as a growth opportunity but as a moral failing are certainly contributing factors, I can say with certainty that a lot of the bad mindset surrounding this hurdle for me was also just my lack of drive to try things that were difficult. Why waste time on things that are difficult if there's already so much I can already do that's so easy!?

Then add the cherry on top of the culture we have around failure where it's shameful to ever admit you failed before unless you can turn it into this big inspirational story of how you "learned instantly from that one bad experience and never failed again!" Easy cocktail for an absolute clusterfuck of imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and control freak behavior on my part.

I am having to systematically reprogram my brain. Failure is a part of life. Just because you don't see other people sharing their failures, publicly, online, all the time, doesn't mean that it's not happening.

Watching Scott Christian Sava's content on Youtube has been doing a lot to help me rewire my brain. Failing is part of the process. And I need to learn to be comfortable with it.

And I think I'll have to keep relearning the lesson a few more times before I get it. Because every time I start to internalize it, I backslide and relapse and get back in that old brain-space of "that doesn't apply to me. Everything I do should be easy because that's how it's always been, and if it's not easy the first time, it's because I personally suck and not because I'm growing."

But, little by little, I'm getting better and better. I am catching up to what I used to be in 2011. And in some ways I am getting even better than I was. 10 years of art atrophy isn't great. But climbing back to the summits I've seen before and realizing that a 10 year backslide doesn't mean a 10 year climb is refreshing. I'm still not where I want to be. But I'm discovering more things I like about drawing, more things I want to contribute to my own style, more things I want to polish up on, more things I'm excited to learn.

I've started of thinking of hair as ribbons which is helping me construct more interesting hair in my art, for example. That's new. And fun. Hair is starting to be a less scary thing. I'm incorprorating more natural lip shapes but still leaning into the anime-esque simplifications and exaggerations of expression. I'm getting ever so slightly better at the shape of the palm of the hand. Fingers are still insane foreign objects to me, but I am learning.

I've developed much better line control. And learning to fail means learning that sometimes your lines won't be perfect. But I have also noticed that I'm able, more often than not, to make the strokes I want on the first try when I finalize a drawing.

I'm still messy with my sketches, which does need some work, but I'm getting better at picking the correct shapes out without agonizing over the line stage anymore.

I'm at the point where a lot of the art books I bought in my youth that were so far beyond my skills at the time are actually... full of manageable if not nearly useless advice for me now. I am growing. And while a part of me will always be dissatisfied that I'm growing so slowly, I am still happy that I'm growing.

Thanks again to everyone who participated! I loved seeing the art! I hope to get more DotNW fanfic up soon, too!

And finally, here's the links to the original posts with their original thoughts and captions.

Day 1: Brute Lualdi

Day 2: Assorted Gels

Day 3: Blast From the Past: Aqua and Polwigle sketches from 2011 and Polwigle doodles from July 3 2024

Day 4: Marta Lualdi

Day 5: Assorted Plant Monsters

Day 6: Rilena Malory

Days 7-9: More Plant Monsters

Days 10-12: Decus and Even More Plant Monsters

Days 13-15: Alice, Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and STILL MORE PLANT MONSTERS

Days 16-24: Aqua, Tenebrae, the last of the Plant Monsters, and some Beast monsters

Days 25-31: A couple attempts at Richter Abend, More Polwigles (specifically Pontus from Onshuu no Richter), Emil Castagnier, Aster Laker, Ratatosk, and some more beast monsters

[wetwaluigi]

lost hex hc sludge, anyone

so ive had this.. sudo-headcanon about sonics world for a while- meaning its something that crosses my mind on occasion and makes sense on a technical level but realistically they were never going for but there keeps being little coincidences that make me WANT to, so. anyway reminder that the zones in LW are inspired by existing classic sonic zones- some are more blatant than others, windy and green hill for example obviously this was for nostalgia bait but eventually i kinda wondered how from a LORE standpoint they would be similar? what i settled on was that over eons, tiles of the lost hex fell down onto the surface periodically, and as thousands of years passed those fallen tiles began to somewhat... spread/infect the world below, making it weird and sonicy this also is an extension of me believing the lost hex follows a minor flightpath which also means its reach would extend over multiple islands, such as south island, or what i specifically want to mention, the northstar islands so superstars came out recently, and me being zeti-pilled made me keep an eye out on similarities between the northstar islands and the lost hex since they're both classic inspired and theres surprisingly a lot more than i thought? for example (sorry for the picture quality, took these on switch handheld)

why is this the second time we're doing 'beach level with jet streams everywhere and unexplainable gigantic fruit littered all over the place'

why is this the second time we're doing a frozen base with a red machinery color palate another frozen base example in a more modern setting is white acropolis, but not taking place on an island, it looks nothing like these too i feel like this one couldve easily come from idea drought because its very weird how similar the themes and aesthetics are

its hard to explain the similarities of these two past 'ooga booga jungle' without being in motion but i cant be the only one even act 2s focus on darkness when theres a darkness level with no lights in silent forest too is just kind of. weird (considering im pretty sure those are the only two darkness levels in the series?)- didnt get a pic of it but you know what i mean if youve played both

floating brown platforms in the clouds is not like. an obscenely unique idea but id be remissed to not mention it although superstars' reminds me more of sonic adventure than SLW

this 100% means nothing since its a generic pattern, just consider it a silly bonus because it was the first thing i thought of when i played golden capital

(unrelated side note but the aesthetic of this level obliterates pinball carnival and golden capital- anyway) hopefully these are enough examples for now- one of them is a bit too spoilery to show this soon this is a weird hc territory where it absolutely was not what they were going for, but theres a lot of little coincidences here and there that make it work for me personally? most of the coincidences absolutely stem from the fact that both of these games have overall very generic level themes so theres bound to be some overlap, but oh well, its a thought

anyway just figured id rant about this, theres not enough rants on this page despite the amount i have bouncing around in my head

[thatblondeperson]

My 20s had to go out with the most awkward bang ever, of course.

I texted a former coworker and friend of mine yesterday to see if I could pick up some hard drives of mine that he had, because I just kept forgetting to do so. Ended up setting up to do so tonight, so when we were both free, I messaged him, he gave me my address, and I plugged it into maps.

Well. First red flag was the building I ended up at not looking like the preview photo in maps. Figured, okay, they have a pic of a courtyard or something, not the street. Plus, no address on the street sign or anything, so I just went with it.

I see the building that says apartments 1-4, my friend is in 1, and I go up a staircase on the side, which starts taking me to the back patio of apt 4. Wrong way, already feeling awkward that i almost trespassed. Walk through a courtyard and I see apartments 1-3. Welcome mat doesn't look like something my friend would own, but the tiny 3D printed Cthulu sitting on the ring doorbell tells me I'm in the right place. I ring the doorbell, someone says "come in".

It did not sound like my friend, but I figure he has a roommate so I am not concerned. However, the second red flag should have been the fact the the entire apartment was dark when I walked inside, aside from the light upstairs.

I wait, thinking my friend may be upstairs playing a video game, or idk, putting a shirt on or something. I wait. Nothing happens.

I start feeling supremely awkward. Am I supposed to invite myself upstairs? That's weird and unnatural. I wait some more. I walk through the dark bottom floor because maybe my friend is outside on their back patio. I say hello very meekly but i cannot be heard over the sound of a dryer going.

I walk upstairs because now like 2-3 minutes have passed, though it feels like 20min. I am immediately met with 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. The bedroom is clearly occupied by someone watching TV, and though I cannot see them, I figure they're just watching TV. I KNOW I can't go in there. I panic and go back downstairs.

I'm panicking, I'm in full autism, awkward, pacing the floor and nervous ticking. I try to message my friend on discord but I have no internet. I pace, I wonder if I should leave. What do I do? I go upstairs again and I very meekly still, but slightly louder, call out hello while trying not to explode.

A like...6'3" muscle-y dude in just boxer briefs, covered in tats, walks out looking only mildly confused. I however, am a deer in headlights. Our conversation is exactly as follows:

Me: "oh, uh. Hm."

Dude: "who are you looking for?"

Me: "Ray?"

Dude: "I think you have the wrong apartment."

Me: "oh, I rang the doorbell and someone said come in."

Dude: "I thought it was maybe my mom, she's coming over tonight."

Me: "Ok, have a nice evening."

I fucking book it down the stairs and out of there, hyperventilating a bit as soon as I'm out in the frsh air. This man was not at all perturbed by my presence, a fucking stranger, on his stairs at 8:45PM. Although, I guess if I *was* robbing him, he could have easily overtaken me, so not really anything to fsar out of a panicked 5'5", 130lb girl, barely able to make eye contact.

My friend eventually helped me find his place which was on the sane street of course, but nowhere near where Google had taken me. I can only imagine though what his mother would have thought of she came in and saw some random girl pacing around her son's apartment, on the verge of nervous tears.

Anyway, here's to my 30s.

[shurinnenation4ever]

Heh… Hey

So…. Yesterday was the fourth of July? Well, despite being japanese.. I STILL CELEBRATED WITH A FEW DRANKSSSSSS!!!!!!!

So…. Late post… heh,

Ya see, The pic from LAST YEARS Fourth of July extravaganza popped up in my memories, AND IT MADE ME REMEMBER THE HOLIDAY EXISTED!!!!!!!!

Sighs…….. How I wish I could go back in time ……. In america, having american beers that would put japanese people into a coma.. with my three lovely uncles…….

LMAOOOO JUST KIDDING, IDK THESE GUYS!!!!! I guess they were biiig fans or something, cause these two gay guys [who kinda reminded me of me and my shmoopy] showed up and asked us if we knew how to grill!!! They said they would adopt whoever could!!! And, well, I wasn’t looking to be adopted, BUT I DID KNOW HOW TO GRILL!!!!! So.. I guess I do have two American dads now… except… well, neither of them are the president, but I guess I would be a good steve fill in… heh… maybe we can get a crazy:b cover…. Crazy:b12…. How about them apples?

ANYWAYS. ACK TO THE STORY!!!!!!!

You may be asking, “ermm… sex magnet rinne🤓 Why were you and your poopty booty in Americain the first place🤓🤓🤓🤓” and FISTE OF ALL!!!!!!!! Dont call My shubaby any petnames, it gets me supes jelly and you dont wanna see the beast come inside me. OKAY BUT!!! Me and babyababybabybabybabybabyabbaby were in america cause….. WE WERE COLLABING WITH MARKIPLIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But…. I WANTED TO GO TO AN AMERICAN GAS STATION THAT WOULD SEND JAPANESE PPL INTO A COMA!!!!!!!! Shoopy came with me after a LOTTT of begging, he kept repeating something like “Yuck! Pa-tooey! Americans are dirty and disgusting, and their gas stations are nothing like in japan. Ill be set into a coma!!!!” Buttt……… he still went anyways! Probably cause our love is better that any coma induced gas station!!! LMAOOOO

Sighs… but sadly, America has NO FUCKING SUBTITLES!!????? So we got lost super easily…

And then these two guys picked us up!!!! After about an hour of grillin their dogs and crankin our hogs [heh.. and NOT the motorcycle kind..] Markiplier asked were we were!!!!!! WE HAD A SUPER COOL 5 SCARRY HORROR GAMES VIDEO TO SHOOT EITH HIM!!!!! My pookie wookie came in with the CLUTCH and sent him a pic of where we were.. and BOOM!!!!! MARKIEMOO WAS ABLE TO DOXX US AND SAVE US!!!!! I thought we were gonna get a stern talking to, like whenever I run off from my idol shit, but NO!!!!! MARK CAME WITH SOME ZAZAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WE PARTIED AND CELEBRATED SOME KINDA AMERICAN…. THING!!!!!!! Whats even the fourth about? Like… the day america popped up from the sea? Idfk, and I guess we’ll NEVER KNOW!!!!!!!!

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO EVERY AMERICAN!!!!!! AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY TWO ADOPTIVE DADS, AS WELL AS MARKIPLIER!!!!! IM SURE YOU’LL BE POSTING THAT COLLAB SOON!!!! Even though its been about a year….. and he blocked me whenever I asked about it……. BUT WHATEVES!!!!!! KYAHAHAHAHAHAAA~!!!!!!!!!!!

- 🎲 MOD RINNAYYYYY

[helenadamidou]

A: Good morning, love. I just finished with coffee and reading, woke up at 9. Here is a pic of us. Do you like it?

J: Good morning, beautiful, handsome man. What a marvelous pic this is of us two! Ah, what a gift! Thank you, my dear love! I just woke up, I'm so tired.

A: Was it my fault? Did I tire you out last night? With my kisses

J: It was so sweet what you did

A: Hehe, I just wanted to say good morning. Later, I'm meeting you with Thomas and the guys.

J: Are you going to join us at the football game

A: Mayyybeee. I'm bad at it, have no clue

J: Oh, it's easy, I'll teach you. I’m wondering if there's a place secret enough for us to kiss? I don't want anyone to know what's going on between us. Thomas is fine, he is open-minded, but the other guys, I'm not so sure

A: I already posted our selfie on socials, my dear boy!

J: You did? Please delete it 

A: It's not a telling pic, don't worry

J: Yes, it is.

A: Trust me, it's like we are cousins. You know what, introduce me as your cousin

J: Haha, why? It complicates things too much. How about Isis? Is she my aunt? 

A: She is your girlfriend 

J: I'm so scared they will find out

A: Why are you so scared of love

J: I'm scared of being labelled as gay because I’m not

A: I'm neither 

J: Maybe we are?

A: No, we are not 

J: Then what are we?

A: Just lovers, I miss your sweet, rosy cheeks; I want to lick them. You are a fairy, an angel

J: And you are my alien lover out of this world. Your eyes travel with me through space. Ah, you'll give me a heart attack!

A: Oh nooo!

J: Strangely, you live so far, but you can come and visit me so easily here in R. 

A: Oh no, it is not that difficult,  that's what we do… 

J: Would you like to meet beforehand? You can visit me here at my house. My parents like you a lot

A: I think they don't like Isis as much

J: Oh no, it's not true 

A: Ok, I'll come by in 15 minutes 

J: OK!

A: My baby boy, my little fleeting bird 

J: I can't hear you, what

A: Can you hear me now? It's me, A. 

J: Ah, yes, now I can

A: Sweet, young baby boy, I want to feel your warm hug and your body. I want to feel the warmth and smell your just-awakened, tender, young skin, soft as candy. I will kiss you all over lick you nonstop, but I promise I wont break into your pure virgin asshole even if its very tough to resist can i put my tongue there? Just for a little bit, just a tender brief licking. 

J: Fine. It's not such a big deal, is it?

A: AAAaah im so HAPPY!

J: How about Isis? Is she coming too?

A: She'll come in an hour, so we have one hour to ourselves. What do you say?

J: ok ok I'm waiting

A: Hi, my baby, can you hear me

J: My love. Where have you been? Im waiting

A: I'm sorry that I'm late

J: It's very annoying, never do that again, so what happened 

A: We woke up late, my dear

J: Okay, if you're quick enough, it's fine. I'll forget about it. You know I have to go shopping with my mom in half an hour?

A: I can help you out with shopping, can I

J: First, I will ask her if she is ok with it

A: Fine, I'm nearby. Open the door

A: I just want to talk to you one more time. Please give me a chance this time, Jonas!

J: Yeah, hi, what do you want

A: I'm sorry for pressuring you without knowing. I'm sorry

J: Ok

A: Is it because of your parents' situation in the end? As you mentioned to me at the supermarket? Please be open and honest with me so I can move on.

J: My mother says that I do not have the same energy as before and appetite for learning, and that my future is doomed if I go on like this

A: Is she talking against me? Is that why you were cold to me today

J: Yes, she thinks I spend too much time with you, and it's not healthy for my development. My brain development stalls when I spend too much time with you. 

A: Did she clarify what she meant by this? Sounds interesting

J: I'm not using my brain for educational purposes, so my development will come to a stop

A: Oh, I never meant to be a hindrance to your education. On the contrary, believe me, my intentions were not to cause any disturbance in your family. Can I show her that I am rooting for your educational success? Let's find a way to show your mom how much we're rooting for your success. 

J: Maybe if we sit together and study with an open door, so she can see with her eyes that we are learning together 

A: That's a great idea, I love studying., Did I tell you that? I'm considering studying philosophy . It’s a passion of mine. I will bring some books and study together.

J: What about Isis?

A: Isis can study too, and will find something to read

J: Hehe, three people studying together, but it will be boring

A: It's fun, trust me, we can help each other 

J: I don't think I know enough to help you with philosophy

A: You teach me your stuff, I’ll teach you. Isn't it great

J: Yeah, but when can we have sex

A: We don't need to have sex; I love spending time with you; just sitting next to you is enough for me

J: I don't want to stop having sex with you, though I like it, and we have a great time in bed

A: We can just wait till they go to bed, perhaps

J: Yeah,s sounds possible. I just hate that I'm so under control in this house

A: You live with your parents, it's normal. Well, now, young man, we need to add you to the schedule. Did you study at all today

J: I was very sad, and I mostly cried. I panicked when you two left the supermarket without saying goodbye. I was ready to run back at you and scream, but I didn't because I was scared of my mother's range

A: Oh my

J: I'm so happy you texted me, I thought I lost everything because of my stupid mother and my stupid house

A: Don't call her stupid; she worries about you.

J: You are such a wonderful friend and lover. Maybe not lover, I'm not so sure.

A: My sweet little boy, we're getting you busy with school. So I assume now we are ok, right 

J: Yes, my handsome man

A: I will see you tomorrow, beautiful sweetheart

A: Baby Jonas, sorry we couldn't make it today. Did you have fun?

J: It was fine, we hung out by the beach. Now I'm heading home

A: Be patient, my little love, you must study

J: I know

I: What are you going to study? Maybe we can help you out

A: Math

I: Nope, big pass

J: Your company is more than enough

I: Ah, yeah, it’s about your mother, right?

J: She warns about my brain development that I'm shutting it down by fooling around with you

I: A,h, poor baby, did you tell her that we're not fooling around at all? We're going straight to the point. Literally.

J: I can't say that! But I suspect she knows..

I: Does she know about our three-way?

J: No, I didn't tell, I'm afraid she is suspecting, guessing it

I: This woman! Gosh

A: It's fine, okay. We only have to show her that we're interested in your success. We will come and help you study

I: But, mister, we have no clue, do we

A: We just pretended, Missy... pretend!

I: The thing is, she demands an open door and all eyes on us! Blieh!

A: We will have an open door while studying

I: When we need to get some action, what are we going to invent 

J: I will close the door while we take breaks and pretend we listen to music

I: Hm, maybe she will start banging on the door like the other night, remember? If Im in the middle of riding your cock and A. here sucking your balls…?

J: Aahh, that's a delicious image you just planted in my head

I: Yes, but things will happen, I'll take a break, I'll undress you...

J: What if we do it semi-undressed, a quickie

I: Hmmm, what do you think, baby boy

A: But I want to feel his naked skin on mine

I: At some point, we can have that too. Let the study begin.

I: Hey J., we are booking this room, it's in Herten for tomorrow, ok 

J: Hey, baby, it’s far

A: I will drive you in my car, no worries

J: Do you have a car?

A: I have one, yes

I: We are renting

J: Guys, that's too much money on me

I: Shut up! Enough with the pity party, huh

J: What

I: I said, Shut up and do what he says. Capiche 

J: I don't like this type of language from you

A: You want to see us or not? Jonas

J: Of course

A: I'm picking you up tomorrow after 12 

J: Ah, that's too early for me

I: Oh, really? You know what he doesn't want to see us so badly 

A: Stop it, will you? He is under pressure

J: I feel very stressed out right now

I: No need to. Tell us the time you are ready

J: Around two? But, guys, I can't stay more than three hours

I: That's fine by me, three hours is more than enough

A: We can pick you up again after dinner for a walk

J: OK, I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble

I: It's fine, you've got a family situation, I understand

I: Hey, I'm not in the mood for hotels. Go by yourself

A: What happened? Why

I: I dont like that i bend backwards for a fuck. You go ahead and do it, it's out of my limits

A: Hey, I know what you have in mind. You prefer to go and stir the waters in… 

I: Stir what you idiot. What

A: I heard your discussions

I: Of course, you are behind everything, so what? Yes, I plan to pay a visit 

A: Why

I: It's not your business, meet your fairy boy

A: We planned to meet him together, but he will get scared off again if I go alone

I: There you go.. that's what I'm done with, he is too much for my patience

A: It's his age, what did you expect

I: Then tell him smth came up, tomorrow is a school day anyway, that googly-eyed freak, his mother is like a hungry wolf hovering around him right now

A: Oh come on, that's..

I: Shut up! Or go alone

A: He won't see me alone. The last time we met, it was really awkward. We need you, it's a three-way arrangement 

I: Ugh, we need to find other people and forget about this situation. enough with the crap im done

A: I just can't comprehend how easily you change your heart!

I: thats who iam i get bored with crap quite easily

A: Ok, I'm texting him that a friend has a problem and we need to be there

I: Go ahead 

I: I’m listening

A: I want to talk to the boy. He asked if we were okay. What should I say? Do you want to talk to him

I: Yes, bring him in

A: Wait, what are we going to say about the friend?

I: I will do the talking

J: Hi, my love, I missed you

I: ,Hey babe

A: Hi, baby

J: Are you ok?

I: Yeah, everything is fine. We just caught up with work today. It's not that I didn't want to talk to you; now we're on a break. Did you study yet

J: No, I'm heading home; I'm too tired already. How do you think it is possible to meet each other

I: Not in your house, it's very tiring with mommy

J: What about you come at night while they are sleeping? They sleep by 10

A: Yes, of course we can, Isis

I guess so, but we might be noticed again. I'm very fed up with the situation there, really

J: I'm sorry

A: Don't apologise, not your fault. Of course, two people in your room again might seem suspicious

J: If we are very quiet, they can't notice you 

A: What are you going to do to us, little sweet candy 

J: haha nothing….

J: I will kiss your beautiful, soft lips. I will use my tongue.

A: Sounds nice, what else

J: I will feel your body on mine

I: alright im horny now so..

A: Just be patient, in a few hours I will give you an orgasm, my love

I: I'll take one from you and another from Baby Boy Number Two. You know A. is weird in a very unexpected way

J: More weird? Im all ears

A: She is kidding, I'm just enjoying our company

I; nonono 

A: yesyes

J: What else? 

I: He is here, but he is at the same time somewhere else 

J: Excuse me, where

I: somewhere far away, that part of him can't reach us right now

A: Yeah, he is a little sad 

J: I would love to meet your other part too

I:  There are too many of us already for your small bed 

J: lol no, I mean outside

I: Outside, there is more space, so yes, that could be possible 

A: he is far from us here 

J: If he is ever nearby, I would love to meet him

A: Why, if I'm not too weird to ask?

J: I'm just curious if he is like you 

A: he is not like me; he is depressed

I: not depressed; he's pretending to be. A fake ass trash bag!

J: Wow, that was rich! It's your son we are talking about

I: Everybody has favorites 

J: What's his name? I can't believe he is what you say. Is he a criminal?

I: A criminal! Pfft in his dreams

J: What's his name

A: Edward

J: Ok, then we say goodnight for now, my loves

I: yeah, bye babe

H: Hey there, you are!. I was searching for you. Come on, split the tea. How was it last night?

I: Missy, I'll pass on the 3-way thing. I'm going my own way.

H: You think, huh, it's very complicated, isn't it

I: I don't find it as fun anymore; it has become a boring ritual

H: So what happened?

I: I'm very confused, and I'm no longer having fun. I'm thinking of finding another boy and leaving them to do whatevs they want to

A: Mother

I: There he is. The weirdo. Wtf do you want? You destroyed a good time we had, as always., That's what you do. I let the field open for you. He is all yours

H: What did you do, A. ? Jesus, you are toxic!

A: Nothing, I did nothing, we had sex as always. idk why she got upset

I: I'm basically the third wheel... Ugh, boring and depressing. Its because his Jonas is afraid of getting fucked in the ass so i take his gay frustration in my pussy i dont like that.

H: Blieh sounds very distressing.

I: not distressing boring and sad as fuck

A: We need you. You are the core of this reltionshop and he fucked me for the first time for a little bit after you left the house early in the morning. We have made progress

I: Great, you don't need me then

A: Okay, you're leaving us. Where are you going?

I: Going to find fun elsewhere

A: Fun? What fun

I: Other man. Im still horny btw you didnt even bother to finish me you egoistical FAGS 

H: Oh, wait, not even tried to please you?

A: I saw you didn't enjoy it yesterday, that's why you couldn't come. It's fine, it happens.

I: Yeah, I didn't like it, that's the point

H: Did you even try to help her feel better?

A: I did, we did, but she couldn't come

I: Ah, yes, because you ruined my good start. Jonas was fucking me just the right way we were in the zone and you suddenly interfere with your talking how you want him to save his cum for you.

A: I thought you liked dirty talking

I: You interfered while we were bonding sexually, and I lost my concentration. Enough discussing and analysing. You had in mind from the start to steal my boyfriend, and you succeeded, as always., Everything must be around you. FUCK YOU

H: She is right. You fucked up. AGAIN

A: ok, go on with your life …. Jonas said earlier in the morning that he wants to talk to you, just give him one chance, just one, that's it

I: You keep on insisting!

A: You are the foundation of our team, you build the base of our relationship

I: A Base? Like a doormat?

H: The base sounds derogatory 

A: On the contrary, she is the soul of our company. I was not ignoring you. Mother just got distracted by him because he excites me, a young boy, so much more mischievous under his clean-cut look of the good kid. It's such a turn-on. He's new to our game, so he gets more attention. I can't continue the relationship without you. I'm going to break up.

I: jesus no go get fucked isnt what you want? 

A: Oh no, I can't do that without you there with me, no

I: I'm sorry I can't be with you

A: Why

I: its fucked up

A: No, it's not

I: you are fucked up i need space

A: Oh no, don't say that you need space, you know what I'm going to try and connect with my other part today, I'm willing to push things further

I: Shut up

A: Please don't; leave me no

H: What do you want from her?

A: I need her with me. That's it, I'm breaking up with him

I: No, don't break up

A: I'm breaking up, it's finished. He caused us a lot of issues 

H: Jesus, go and live the gay love you craved, your mother will be ok

A: You don't understand, she is the core of this. Without her, there's nothing, there's nothing, no spark at all

I: It's a lie

A: You lie to yourself, there's nothing like being the three of us. 

I: I don't feel comfortable enough

A: So we finish it with him, that's it

I: I finish it

A: No, we