#there are not enough hours in the day i NEED to be listening to vocaloid rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blueluneacy · 4 years ago

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I got inspired by a vocaloid song I liked when I was 13. Its ok bc Azul :)

It’s demon! Azul! that is probably the most obvious au i can think of, but its okay and I do not feel bad.

Warnings: manipulation, soul stealing, nightmare mention, implied yandere

It was another restless night. You were used to it at that point, looking up at your ceiling and hoping beyond hope that you would fall asleep. And you were tired, no one could deny that. It was just the idea of seeing…

You didn’t want to think about the nightmares that you were having. They were awful. You always found you in such a terrible inky black world, felt as if your heart was being torn from your chest. It would seem your body would rather be asleep than experience that over and over. But it led to your current dilemma.

It had been three days now. You needed to sleep soon, lest you pass out during work or worse. You needed to sleep. This sick cycle had been going on for a month now, getting nightmares then staying up for ages until you passed out and had more nightmares.

You huffed as your body seemed only to get more restless, pulling you out of your bed. You went over to the window and pulled it open, hoping to get some air. You sighed as you looked up at the moon. The full moon has just passed. Maybe it was the light that was making you so restless. Once the New Moon came, you would be able to sleep with how dark the sky became. You hoped. It seemed that with the month you had been suffering, it was all just terrible hopes and wishes.

“It’s a bit late for stargazing, isn’t it?” You immediately turned to the voice that seemed to creep up out of nowhere, only to see… A man? No, this thing wasn’t a man. Although he had the features of one, there was something off about the look of his eyes. He was beautiful, fancily dressed with a good hat and a freshly pressed shirt. He wore fashionable glasses and had a rather nice coat, to the point where one may suppose that he may be a gentleman of sorts. His silver blue hair fell just past his ears, but you could see them poking out just a little. You noticed a point to them and steeled yourself. Despite his looks, he was no gentleman. You could already tell such a thing.

“I was just going to go to bed. Apologies if I had interrupted your walk.” You said, turning you back immediately and moving to your bed without closing the window. But the man only laughed, choosing to let himself lean against your windowsill and and gently lean into your room.

“You will be? That’s a shame. I had heard you haven’t been able to sleep at all. I was hoping I would have someone to talk to at this late hour.” He said. You flinched, turning your head. You were ready to snap at the being in front of you, but his expression was so gentle.

“Where did you hear that?” You asked, trying to keep your voice smooth. Who knows what would happen if you made some being at your windowsill angry? But he laughed, leaning his head against his hand.

“You know, usually you ask the name of the person you’re talking to before asking questions.” He told you, as if gently chiding a child. “But I hear most everything. Every crone will gossip about any young person they see. Especially one drifting off at their job.” He said. You pursed your lips, looking away.

“I… I’m trying my best. I’ll be able to sleep tonight, don’t you worry.” You said, moving over to the window to get ready to shoo away this mysterious stranger.

“You will? With the nightmares you’ve been having? You know, I know just the cure for those sorts of dreams.” The man told you. It was the word cure that made you pause. You wanted to question again how he knew about your nightmares, but you were sure you’d get the same answer as before. Something told you that he wasn’t all that forthcoming. And besides, you had told your coworkers and friends about it. Had he overheard you?

“You can…?” You paused and shook your head. “I’m not interested in any sort of sleep medicine you have. I don’t really have time for a sales pitch, Mr…” You really had never asked his name, had you? He only smiled.

“Azul. Please, it’s no medicine.” Azul hopped through your window as if it were nothing, moving to seat himself in your desk chair as if he owned the place. You were shocked at how absolutely comfortable he was to look around your home, to set himself comfortably. It was if he was able to go and make himself tea as well. He motioned for you to sit, and for whatever reason, you obeyed. You sat down on the edge of your bed across from him, just staring at him wide eyed.

“Have you ever considered magical intervention for this problem?” Azul asked you. You blinked. Magic…? You looked away, almost shuddering at the thought.

“We don’t have magicians and stuff like that around here. It’s looked down upon.” You responded meekly. He only scoffed at the idea.

“Well now, then there’s your problem. You’re not willing to explore ideas outside of your comfort zone.” Azul said in a bit of a harsher tone. You looked away, curling in on yourself. You were doing the best that you could, right? But, as soon as Azul saw it, he smiled. “Ah, but don’t worry. I have the solution here for you.” He told you. You blinked, looking at him before speaking again.

“And… And you really think that this will help me?” You asked. “Do you really think you’ll be able to help me sleep?” You asked. Azul gave you a lovely smile as he held a hand to his chest.

“Of course. I would never lie to you. I will be able to make you sleep, no doubt about it. You’ll just have to pay me back once you do.” You turned pale at the thought of payment, already grabbing your wallet to try and see how much you had.

“Ah, don’t bother with that. I could never accept a payment up front. After all, what if it doesn't work?” He chuckled. “Of course, it will, but I like to make sure my customers are insured.”

“W… What exactly is going to be the cost?” He was some sort of demon. You could feel it, see it even. But there was something so inexplicably beautiful about him, from those blue eyes to the mole on his chin like a drop of the most exquisite ink. It comforted you, just a little.

“Oh, nothing much. Don’t worry, I tend to like things humans usually don’t even think about. Things that rarely cross your mind.” He hummed. Well, that would be simple, right? Did he really just like trinkets and such? It might be risky, but… God, you were so tired. No other method had worked, and you knew Azul knew that. It would be fine, right? Something you rarely thought about… Well, it couldn’t be that hard.

“Fine. I accept, please. Just help me.” You said. Azul smiled, standing up as he held up his hand.

“Then it’s a deal. I’ll come back on the New Moon to check on your progress.” He told you, before taking your own hand and raising your pinky up. “Why don’t we make a nice promise? I always think young people like these sorts of things.” Ah, was Azul a lot older than you then? But he looked the same age you did. Still, as he raised your pinky, it seemed as if he wanted to make a promise with you like that. You couldn’t help but laugh as the two of you made your small pinky promise.

But, your laughter didn’t last long. The moment Azul pulled away from you, you felt an intense drowsiness fall over you as you instinctively crawled into bed. Azul looked over you with a smile, much more satisfied than the last few he’s given you. He walked to your window, ready to leave before calling out to you again. Your eyes were just barely fixed on him, your eyelids feeling oh so heavy.

“Have a pleasant evening, (Y/n).” And with that, you fell into an empty sleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you burst up, looking around. You really… Were able to get a good night’s sleep? Was all of that with Azul just a dream? You got up and saw that your window was still open, a gentle breeze blowing your curtains back. You looked around outside, but there weren’t even footprints. He really was just gone.

“Maybe it was all a dream…” You decided not to worry too much about it. After all, you slept. You felt rested. And that was enough for you.

But, that didn’t last for long. After a few days, it felt as though sleep wasn’t helping at all anymore. Although you could fall asleep now, every time you woke up, you felt just as tired as when you were awake. Your sleeps were empty, like death itself. It was definitely not as troubling as before, but still. You were still exhausted. After a week, you were in the same position you were in before. Falling asleep at work, dozing off left and right. But this time, sleep was just doing nothing for you.

On the night of the New Moon, you stayed up on purpose. If Azul didn’t show up, you had a strange dream, and if he did, you had words. Many, awful words.

But, when your clock had just struck three, there was a gentle knock on your window. You got up, unlatched the window and pursed your lips as you saw Azul. He was as handsome as ever, smiling at you with wonderful kindness. He easily pulled himself through your window.

“You’ve been able to sleep, I see. Are you enjoying it?” Azul asked. You immediately huffed.

“I can sleep, but I’m still tired all the time. It’s like my sleep doesn’t even matter.” You told him. Azul immediately laughed.

“Well, of course. You haven’t been dreaming, after all.” He told you as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You blinked.

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“I suppose that maybe you’re not the type of person to remember your dreams, then? Well, allow me to explain.” He already sat to take his place at your desk, sitting down and leaning back. And, like an obedient student, you were already sitting on the edge of your bed, ready to listen.

“It’s about the sleep cycle. In the most important step, where you are getting the most rest, you’re dreaming. It’s like a filler portion your brain puts in.” Azul tells you. You felt yourself getting pretty angry at that. Of course you could never trust a demon like that. They always have something to pull.

“Well, then why didn’t you give me dreams? You took away my nightmares, but you didn’t put anything there to replace it?!” You snapped. Azul tilted his head to the side as if he were a confused dog.

“You never asked. I don’t do things that people don’t ask me to do. It always seems to end up terribly.” Azul replied, as if it were the most simple thing.

“Well, now this has turned out terribly too.” You huffed. Azul sighed.

“Well, that’s the reason I take payment afterwards. After all, I can’t take payment from an unhappy customer, can I?” Azul said, standing up. He took your hand and gently pulled you up, using his free gloved hand to run along your cheek. Azul, despite everything, truly was beautiful. Perhaps that was the danger of him, or of demons in general. They were too beautiful. It was as though the tricks that they play weren’t out of malice, but out of pure foolishness on both ends. Foolishness to not assume and foolishness to believe a demon would ever not twist his words.

“How about I make you some dreams then? I’ll make you the most lovely dreams. Sweet stories and savory fantasies. Would you like such a thing? You’ll be able to dream to your heart’s content.” He told you. You should know better than to say yes to such a thing. And yet, you couldn’t help but ask.

“And… And the payment will be the same?” You asked, hoping that he would tell you that it would be awful this time, that he would scare you into refusing. But Azul only smiled.

“Of course. Like I said, I’ll never take payment from an unhappy customer.” You felt his hand rub against your back as the other held your chin. When… When did you get so close to him? It was dizzying, this whole experience. You blinked up at him, nodding slowly. Azul hummed in delight.

“Then… Shall we seal this promise with a kiss?” He asked, and you couldn’t refuse. As Azul’s lips pressed against yours, you felt your eyelids get heavy once more, whatever magic Azul had activating and starting to lull you to sleep. It was a chaste kiss, but long. It was as if Azul was savoring it, only pulling away when he was satisfied. He easily pulled you up into his arms and placed you on the bed, turning his back to you as he moved back to the window.

“Then, I’ll return on the full moon. I hope to hear about how happy you are then.” He turned to you, looking at your sleepy face once more before smiling.

“Sweet dreams, (Y/n).”

And you did have sweet dreams. That night, you dreamed of such wonders. Of houses made of sweets, of a prince to sweep you off your feet with silver glasses and a mole on his chin. It was all so wonderful that when you woke up, you wanted to go right back to sleep. You saw your open window and smiled. Finally, things would get better. About time.

And they did get better. For you, at least. Maybe not for the people around you. Because, as you slept more, the more you wanted to sleep. All you wanted to do anymore was sleep, sleep, sleep. You were rested when you were awake, sure, but your dreams were so pleasant. You were so happy being asleep. You continued dreams with your prince, to dream of love and eternal bliss. It was like a paradise you could never escape from. The only anxiety that plagued you was once again, Azul.

What was it exactly that he wanted from you? Soon, he would be coming for his payment. What was it that he wanted? You tried to think of things people didn’t think about often. Maybe cheap things? Or squirrel skin? Or maybe people didn’t think about lost fingernail clippings. But any idea that came to your mind felt stupid. You just had to wait. And the waiting was the most terrible part.

But, the full moon came. Time never slows down, and it moves extra quick for those who are always sleeping. When Azul knocked on your window, you opened it gently. You didn’t want to seem afraid, but you were just unsure of what to even give. But Azul greeted you warmly, coming through your window gently. Really, now that you think about it, he looked a lot like the prince from your dreams. How strange.

“I see you’re doing very well. That makes me really happy.” Azul told you. You did your best to smile back, nodding.

“Yeah! Of course, now I sleep a bit too much, but that’s more of my own fault than yours.” You replied, trying to keep yourself light. Azul just hummed.

“That’s good. That’s another happy customer I have under my belt then.” Azul told you. Usually, now was the time he would sit down and explain how payment would work, but he simply stood there, smiling at you. You let yourself stand in the silence as it grew awkward, before Azul finally spoke up.

“Well, as for payment… I’m sure you’re already aware, right?” He asked you. You shook your head slowly, trying to figure out what he meant.

“Actually, no. But if you tell me what it is, I’ll get it for you right away, I promise!” You told him. Azul chuckled a bit.

“Ah, but you already have it right here.” Azul told you, pulling you into his embrace. It was tighter, more possessive than you expected it to be. “After all, it’s quite hard to lose your eternal soul, at least for a human.” You went pale, starting to squirm to try and get away from Azul, but his grip was iron tight.

“W-What?! Why didn’t you tell me?! You said it would be something I don’t think about?!” You told him. Azul only laughed.

“Humans don’t think about their eternal souls often, I don’t think. If they did, they wouldn’t do foolish things so often.” Azul replied, touching your cheek gently. “As for not telling you… You never really pressed me on the matter, so I thought it was okay.” He replied. You felt your blood run cold as you turned your head away from Azul, starting to cry. He tutted you gently.

“Oh, why are you giving me such a sad expression? This is reality here. After all, you were only dreaming anyway. What’s the point in dreams if you don’t ever try to put them into action?” he told you. You weren’t listening. You only continued to cry, to cry for yourself. You can never trust a demon, no matter how beautiful they are. And you were learning that far too late.

Azul sighed as he lifted you up, placing you onto your bed. You tried to curl up, but Azul easily climbed on top of you, entwining his hands with yours and letting his nose brush up against yours.

“Don’t worry, darling. It’s not so bad to be with me. Just let yourself fall into one more dream that I’ve made for us.” Azul told you, leaning to let his lips brush gently against yours in a not quite kiss.

“Now. Fulfill your end of the bargain.” And you had no hope of saying no as Azul descended upon you in another kiss. It was rougher this time, with teeth and tongue, but it didn’t matter. All you truly felt was despair as you felt your eyes droop. You felt a sharp pain and the taste of blood as you started to fall asleep, looking up to see Azul pull away from you. The last thing you saw was a satisfied smile on Azul’s face, with blood staining his teeth.

…

Hey, have you heard? It’s about that person who fell into eternal sleep.

They say that if you go out on the full moon when the clock strikes three, you might be able to see them on the arm of a handsome man. Of course, that’s ridiculous, right? Only a fool would believe such stories. After all, at that late, everyone must be dreaming. But the man always looks so happy as he walks with them, don’t they?

They say at that time, the person sleeping starts to cry.

#azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto/reader #twisted wonderland/reader #twisted wonderland #twst/reader #yandere/reader #yandere x reader #My writing #mine #sfw

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manjuhitorie · 4 years ago

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tat - Shinoda’s Hitori-Atelier blog posts - REAMP Digest volume 4

Shinoda’s blog post via Hitori-Atelier! Please consider joining Hitori-Atelier and supporting Hitorie’s ventures today. How-to here: https://boatmanju.wixsite.com/hitorietranslations/hitorie-atelier

It’s already been 3 months since REAMP was released, time really flies.

In that short bit of time we’ve already planned a tour ahead of us, and were given the opportunity to do the opening for the anime ‘86′. Let’s fucking go~~~~~ Is everyone faring well? I've recently rekindled my passion for sampling, I haven't felt like this in years. I'm taking free samples I find strewn across the internet and turning them into techno. I kinda remember mentioning my appreciation for techno in vol. 1 of this blog series, and yeah. I'm finally trying it out for myself. I've managed to make a pretty sick song if I do say so myself. You'll find it on Hitori-Atelier soon enough. (＊This is most likely the song titled 'mad candy', found in 'Shinoda's Contents') It's fun 'cause compared to vocal stuff, I use a whole different part of my brain to make techno. I say "This part of this sample has a good beat to it, I bet if I rearranged it like this it would make music~" and do it. Relatively speaking, this kinda music making matches my personality type really well. I feel like I've found a fucking good hobby for myself here. With that said, even though it’s a hobby, work is still work so the collateral damage of music-making is still vividly affecting my body. Like music is still music, and with the way I tunnel vision I'll end up at my desk for an obscene amount of hours. By the time I'm done with it physically and mentally I'm a wreck. Like the fuck do I mean by hobby, is this some kinda shitty joke Shinoda? Anyway let's talk about 'tat'. The question as to what the title means comes first. Initially I wanted to name this song "刺青(meaning tattoo)". Because the song ‘Perfume’ by ‘Eito’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MjAJSoaoSo) was a huge hit at that time so yeah.. But that idea failed ygarshy's inspection so I had no choice but to look around for a word similar to tattoo.

That was when I found photos of tattoos on Instagram with the hashtag #tat. This is it, I said. As a slang tat can mean many other things as well but I forget what they were. I'm sure you can find out if you look it up but, take note that none of it has much to do with the song itself. I considered '#tat' for the title as well, but it was too lame so I pulled back. This song was written when the album was almost finished and most songs ready: I reviewed the album as whole and felt that something was missing. I had wanted something with now tat’s tempo and mood to it to tie the album together. It turned out really well, if I may say so myself. Isn't it a great song though? I feel like all my efforts were worthwhile... It's fun to let the creative juices flow and write with whatever comes to mind. I tried to make the amount of guitar notes concise and solid. The tone was supposed to be graceful too but... ygarshy swooped in with a kick and his bass so heavy it sounds like he's blasting music from a little motorcycle. The melody too has the same makings as the hits these days. It’s about someone of the opposite sex with a bold tattoo who’s stuck in days of ennui, and me who’s gazing from afar wondering what these feelings inside me are. It’s about that sorta thing (?) - I think I managed to express it (????) The beat isn’t made to be far off from modern tuning either. I’m sure I could’ve harmonized it even better but, at the time I found good reason to make it more rock band-y, so I have no regrets. I only wish I made the song name something easier to find via search. It’s so hard to find the people talking about it... Starting with a verse and closing a song with that same verse is great, ain’t it. I’ve always liked songs with a bit of a whacky structure to them, Like November in HOWLS, it goes from verse 2 back to verse 1 then into the instrumental break. If you think it’s just any old number then prepare to be sorely mistaken - Or, that kind of fetishy stuff is important for music if you ask me. I received a fair lot of praise from people in the song-writing industry about tat, I’m happy. Though I’m not sure about the lyrics. Someone from our workplace told me that “Mushy gushy heart-wrenching lyrics would fit well”, so I sought out to do exactly that. The only problem is that my expression of mushy gushy made that person from work go “????” so making people’s heart clench is hard shit. This doesn’t leave here okay.. My dismay over the discontinuation of Chikyuu Monogatari is vented in here a bit as well. Though I don’t think Chikyuu Monogatari is boring. Not really. I saw a few people say that ‘tat’ is like the evolution of cakebox. And it makes sense to me now that y’all say it. cakebox was my solo project I did back in my mid-20’s. I made 3 mini pieces with 7 tracks and 1 EP with 4 tracks before stopping. I’m sure only like 10 people in the whole world ever listened to it. If you look it up you can still get it to listen too. Like an offering of random ass songs to my dead school life, I had a phase between my late teens and my early 20’s wherein I was obsessed with making songs using just my voice and guitar. The question of direction was beyond my consideration, I just sorta let the creative juices flow back then too and promptly set pen to paper. That was my creative process cycle. It was kinda like a diary. There’s barely any proper complete songs. The reason being that I completely lacked the skill necessary to make them proper. My guitar was alright but my singing wasn’t up to par, no one ever praised my voice at all. So I resolved that I just wasn’t cut out for it and strove to be a lead guitarist. Instead of my own songs I chose to go do band stuff, thus devoted myself to guitar. Yet still my desire to make something proper stuck with me, and so soon after that I started a band in which I did guitar and vocals. we mashed stuff together and made song proper. Alas. Between creative differences and my own lack of ability, we were barely able to make something that I was proud of. After shit happened I ended up at home immersed in making my own songs. “Surely I could put all my experiences in bands and my own growth to good use, to turn my backlog of WIPs into something proper as well?” I thought to myself, and thus was the beginning of cakebox. I think that was the first time I ever got involved in making my own music through my own power. But my way of intense creation was too innocent for listeners or something, or like I wasn’t conscious enough of my headfirst personality... So I didn’t even have the sense to match the tuning up with modernity, and ultimately my work wasn’t clicking with society’s needs. That reality was crushing me more and more with every piece I made. I didn’t have absolute confidence in myself or conviction to push through either. After 3 albums the feeling of “Why am I even doing this” grew, and I found more purpose in Hitorie instead. From then on I devoted myself to Hitorie. These past few years in Hitorie have been nothing but learning experiences for me. After years of the four of us together stressing over what makes good music, I think my own work has leveled up as well. One thing I learned that has especially stuck with me, even now, is leader’s unwavering stance on “Believing that I’m just no matter what”. For someone with my relative dispositions it’s a nigh impossible stance, and at often times I felt it was egoistic of him but... It’s what led him to create such powerful music, and it’s something we depended on greatly. The other day I gave Unhappy Refrain a full listen for the first time in a while. It’s perfect in every way, what the hell. Vocaloid as a genre was still establishing itself back then, and without a doubt this album served as a monument for the cause. The same way ‘my bloody valentine’’s ‘loveless’ was the cherry on top for the shoegazer genre. It’s made an immovable unsurpassable mark on music history. I really was in a band with a crazy person. To think that when I was in a band with him I more saw myself as the crazy amazing one. What the fuck was up my ass. I understand why felt the need for a band after making this album - why he brought us together - even more now. The obscene amount of notes in that album with a tone reeking of rock band stuff... It’s really flooded with his innocent yearning for rock music. I think the troubles he faced following Unhappy Refrain were the repercussions of him making such a huge monumental piece. But his stout core belief in himself - that he’s just - has stood equally as tall as that monument all the way. Now, after so many twists of fate.. I never thought I’d be writing AND singing my own songs for Hitorie like this. Except, one difference between the me of now VS. the me of old is that I don’t feel even a smidgen of unconfidence. I’m not worrying that I “don’t stand out” or “don’t suit societies needs” anymore. I feel like ‘tat’ might be the best song in the album (sorry ygarshy and Yumao). To the point that when people praise it I merely agree with them, “No lies detected” I say.

It’s all thanks to my time spent with Hitorie, the musical knowledge we sharpened, and the fact that my bandmates’ amazing performances have my back. If I don’t have something as big as this supporting me then I’ll just be a fucking chicken with no confidence in my music, after all. With that said, Music made by you yourself is an irreplaceable treasure, “If you made something good, then be proud”: this lesson of mindset was taught to me by Leader. It’s a really life-changing way to be so... If I mimic Leader at least this lil’ bit no one would make a bad face at me, right? What do y’all think? With that that said, the actual most pure thing that’s naturally come out of my head in years, with my actttual emotions stuffed in, is... The actttttual best song is “Utsutsu” if you ask me so. Look forward to the next entry of this blog series, y’hear me. Shinoda

#REAMP #SND REAMP Blog #Hitorie #REAMP Digest

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aerial-aspie · 3 years ago

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An Autistic Point of View 21 (Summer Camp Edition)

Hi there it's Hazel! I'm finally back after a bit of a too long break because I've been struggling to find things to write about (which is also called being too lazy too) but I actually have something to talk about today! Yay!

So if you haven't seen on some of my earlier posts, I am a youth summer camp leader and 3 weeks ago I led for my first time and this is how it went.

Coming from a northern city in England, it was already difficult because everyone else was from London and were all talking gossip about people at school and would leave me out of everything, telling me I didn't want to know. I felt left out and isolated because I couldn't join in conversations as much because I didn't know who anyone was. This went on for the full four days of pre-camp preparations and it was quite difficult, another thing that happened was someone used the phrase 'you're not Jewish if you don't know...' and this was about a musical called 13 which was about a Bar Mitzvah. I'd never heard of it because I mostly know things that people tell me about or that I've seen come on tour and I wasn't sure how to respond because I didn't know it.

We also had multiple clashes in interests because the interests of all the girls (who I clashed with more) were more mainstream such as watching love island (I hate that show with a passion, it's disgusting), being die hard mamma mia fans (the songs are annoying and the film is awful in my opinion) and this is about everyone, they love pop music (again, I hate pop music and would much rather listen to vocaloid, jpop, electro swing, heavy metal and whatever is on my weird playlist). So because of this we clashed quite badly, especially over our opinions on love island because I'm so opinionated on how much I hate that show and they love it we got into a somewhat argument, so I left the building and went back to my dorm because it was the evening when we could do basically what we wanted.

Now I've gotten that off my chest, I need to say that I loved the group of people I was leading with. Yes we didn't get along interests wise and north, south divide didn't help but they were lovely to lead with and some of them I've come out with friends for life (well if we can keep in contact).

When the kids came it was so daunting, but luckily my friend Ash (who is leading with me) was on the coach with them because they had just had covid and had to isolate before coming, but they were fine.

I can't really remember fully what went on every day but I can tell you that the first meal time was horrible. I had this one kid on my table who begged me for the full half an hour about what we were doing next and I couldn't tell him at all and was panicking about what to say. I grabbed one of the senior leaders and was like "help, I don't know what to do" and he gave me some tips but even then, the kid wouldn't get off my back. He started being like "I hate it when people keep secrets from me, my mum once kept a secret from me and it was so horrible so tell me what we're doing please" (this is not exactly word for word what he said but he did bring his mum into it).

However, dinner was luckily over and I thought I was done with him but whilst we were blocking the entrance to one of the buildings whilst the activity was being set up, he went at me again and I was really struggling and panicking. Ash, who is one of my closest friends and knows me better than any of the other leaders, quickly spotted I was in a bad position and turned to me and said "Hazel, I think you're needed inside" and instantly got me out of that stressful situation. I thanked them for it later because it really saved me from a panic attack.

I only had one major panic attack through the entirety of camp, which is the best I've ever come out of one before. The one I had was because we were running early and had to think of something to do. I was suddenly told in front of all the kids with no prior warning that I was leading an invisible circus session and I found and excuse to leave the room and then I panicked. From there on out, the people running the camp knew they had to pre warn me about anything that was causing major changes and I would have to do things on the spot (even though I already told them that when we talked about my needs on a call prior to camp).

Last extremely negative moment when leading, then I'll get onto the positive sides. The kids were so hard work and one day they had 4 discipline talks and it did nothing. We were getting so annoyed and upset that Tammy had to do a full powerful speech about how upset we all were and I could see she was struggling too. Because of this, she wasn't in the next session she was leading with me (and I do not and will not blame her for it because she was so upset and needed that break). Luckily, Ethan was there to help me out and helped run the session and keep the moral high up for the kids as I was really struggling. At dinner I basically broke and after went to sit in the welfare room, there was another kid in there from another bubble and so I moved a chair just to put more distance between us and it was stuck to a phone lead and the phone clattered to the floor. This kid was very noise sensitive and was so frightened, I apologised so much to them before they got taken out and that was enough to set the tears off. There were leaders from the other camp there who knew me and comforted me (socially distant) because they understood I was having a terrible day.

I was then kicked out the welfare room because kids from the other camp were eating in there and this was for safeguarding reasons and so I got sent to one place to wait for the welfare officer but she was already there with someone else. I was basically a stranded autistic person, mid meltdown, not knowing where to go.

I did get rescued by another set of leaders who make our resources and they sat and talked to me whilst I cried it out. I really wanted to go home then, I hated it so much that day and soon the welfare officer came and I talked it out to her before ringing my parents and telling them about it.

I didn't go home in the end and made it all the way through.

Now for the good moments.

Meetings in the evenings were the funniest moments ever, where we talked about about our day and told funny stories and they never failed to make me laugh and always made my day, plus they were always followed by snacks!

We led some amazing activities where the kids got so into them and joined in with everything so that we all had a blast in the end. Site activities were so fun and I got to do high ropes, crate stacking and climbing and I loved it. Me and Ash went as a pair in crate stacking and I fell off at 6 crates, while they got to 13 and it was supposed to be a pairs challenge. But let me say, I screamed the whole way up the crate stacking.

The last night of camp talent show was hilarious. I got to do my poi in it because I was not comfortable doing what everyone else was doing, which was being randomly assigned acts on the go and you had to go up and improvise. But all the improvisation acts by the leaders were so funny, there was; the freedom sandwich song with a singer and someone with a broken finger on recorder, bohemian rhapsody without the vowels, slam poetry about the clavicle and more and it was so funny and such a great night.

The last night of camp in general was great because I pigged out on ice cream and popcorn and got my face painted as a cat. It was great except me 2 hour shift of watching the quiet sleeping area, which was dead boring but then I got to sleep early.

Finally, I did a talk on autism, at first it was just a half an hour chat session where Ash came to sit and listen and also crowd control in case anyone was silly in it. I only had 3 people turn up and another leader ran a football chat session to try and bring more people to mine (how sweet of them) so I ended up with 5 of them, all of them boys.

I thought they would mess around but they were so mature it was amazing! They asked loads of interesting questions about what it was like to be autistic and I answered them all and I loved this talk so much because I was so happy when it ended because it went so well and all the boys said I was now their favourite leader and it made me so happy.

I then ran this talk again in a session which was an hour where you could move between chats freely, whenever you wanted to. Ash was inspired by my autism talk and wanted to do one on being non-binary however, they didn't want to stop people from coming to mine. I turned round and said it doesn't matter about who comes and who doesn't, you should lead it, don't let me hold you back. And they did it! I was so proud of Ash for leading that talk.

I ended up getting all the boys in my talk, whilst Ash got all the girls (which they all apologised to me about not coming but I said it was fine and that they could come and ask questions at any time). All the boys were mature again and I got to happily chat about being autistic and I loved listening to all the questions they asked and anecdotes about people they knew and it went so well again.

Finally, my last highlight was Ash's 'why don't we talk about periods' session which most of the leaders all assisted on because it was so interesting. All the girls were sharing stories, I shared a story and even lots of boys turned up and one was brave enough to ask where the blood goes which I was so proud of him for asking. Whilst the female participants found that question funny, we were making this boy feel good for asking because we thought it was a mature question to come from a 12 year old boy and happily answered it.

To help desensitise people to some of the words we were using, we had everyone yelling period, menstruation, period blood, etc and it was good fun and I loved it.

And that's all about being autistic as a summer camp leader, will I lead again? Probably not. I considered trying again next year but it clashes with the commonwealth games and whilst there were positives from leading, there were lots of negatives too that were off putting and I'd rather go to the commonwealth games.

I hope you enjoyed it and see you next time!

#autistic experiences #actually autsitic #autism #autistic positivity #being autistic #autistic life #autistic blogger #summer camp

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nekowriteshaikyuu · 4 years ago

Text

paper airplane

if you need to talk, i’m always here.

pairing : sugawara x reader

a/n : OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. I know i’m exaggerating but thank you so much for 100 notes on my previous post couple’s necklace !! i woke up and i just- i freaking flipped. thank you so much X33. i refuse to do any homework because- i don’t want to huhhuhuhu. but yeah,,,enjoy some wholesome hc with sugamama >w<

disclaimer again: you know the drill. but yeah apologies again if it don’t match ze chawacterr.

---------<3

you were in despair. you felt empty, hurt, unwanted when your 1 year relationship with the boy you most certainly adore left you for someone else. you stared at the picture frame of the both of you together, smiling, holding each other’s hands happily. how could he ?

you wiped your tears and looked out the window that was just infront of your desk. You looked at the opposite building which was blocking the sky. you sighed and just as you were about to leave your desk to grab a glass of water. a paper airplane flew through your window.

you looked out your window only to realised all the other windows are closed and you lived at quite a high level so there’s no way someone threw it from below.

You were about to throw it away when you saw some blank ink on it. you unfolded the paper airplane up

‘are you okay?’ was written bodly in blank in. you looked at the bottom of the paper and saw what it seems like a phone number.

‘you can always talk to me:)’

you were feeling a little skeptical, thinking it’s just some perverted man trying to get laid or something. but nonetheless you pulled out your phone, dialing the number in with a contact name “paper airplane thrower” what a name lmao

it took a few hours before you had the guts to text this person.

‘hi,,,i caught your paper airplane.’ you threw your phone on the bed, thinking this person would never answer. Maybe they forgot? Maybe it was an accident? or a dare? either way, you just walked around your room, admiring all the small decorations that were scattered everywhere in your room. It wasn’t long enough before you heard your phone dinged. For some reason you rushed to your phone, unlocking it and saw that the unknown user replied back

‘hey !! sorry if you’re weirded out, i just saw you crying and i was kind of worried. though we are complete strangers. anyways, i’m sugawara btw !’ you both chatted for the whole day, getting to know each other more. his choice of words always brings you a smile. ‘don’t worry’, ‘that’s awesome !’, ‘you’re so cool!’, ‘heheh’, all these simple texts just gives you the most widest smile ever.

This goes on for days to weeks. Somehow, you both had never gone a day without texting each other ever since the incident. Texts turn into voice messages, and soon to calls. Both of you were on the phone for hours. and if ever one of you fall asleep, you’d just continue the call, listening to the soft snores or the bed rustling.

If ever something happen during school, you’d always come home and straight away give him a call which he would immediately answer. you can never have a day without hearing from him. you really love his presence, his voice, his laugh,,,maybe,,him too.

one day you felt like visiting him. After school you decided to take a trip to his school, karasuno. It’s gonna be a journey for you to find him with just the recognition of his voice since he never send you a photo of himself or even switch on his camera. You were abit scared if ever he’s catfishing or a creep impersonating as a teenager.

he mentioned he had volleyball practice so you spent some time in a cafe, recollecting your thoughts and building the courage to actually meet him in person. After a while, you headed of to his school

Your slowly entered, afraid someone might caught you. But you manage to make your way in and find the volleyball gym when you heard the sounds of volleyballs bouncing off the ground. You slowly walked to the gym and immediately felt the chills.

You kind of lost confidence so you decided to just head back home and wait till he contacts you. But before you could even take a step, you heard the creak of the metal door slide and a bunch of boys came walking out. You flinched and your presence brought attention to all the boys.

“uh- sorry, are you lost? you don’t seem like you school here” a tall guy with a man bun and a small beard asked. He looked so intimidating. you backed away slowly, giving a weak smile

“ah ! s-sorry ! i uh, have to go” but even before you could bail from the boys, a hand caught you and pulled you in. You squeeled and shut your eyes close, afraid of what’s going to happen next.

“y/n?” his voice...it’s so heart-warming. something you’ve yearn for the whole day. you looked up to see the boy with soft, gray hair and clear, glossy eyes.

“what are you doing here? hehe, silly. miss me that much?” he gave a warm smile. somehow it felt like the same smile you could fell when calling sugawara, even without seeing it once. it’s him. it really is him.

“suga...” you gave him a warm, tight hug which shocked the boys from behind. He slowly placed one of his hands behind your back, while the other slowly carress your head.

“there, there, i didn’t know you’d be visitng me ! this is a huge surprise” you pulled the hug away to see his smile pasted on his face again. your heart have never beated so fast before, faster than when you were with your past lover. something about him just makes you skip a beat all the time.

he turned to see his teammates in awe.

“ah, right. guys! meet y/n ! i met her- uhh,,uhmm-”

“by a paper airplane he threw through my window when i was crying over an ex.” you continued which made him slightly embarressed, rubbing his nape.

“....”

“aah! you’re the girl suga keeps talking about!” the boy with a strand on blonde hair at the front spoke, he began to lift his brows as he slowly turn to suga

“uh who?” the oranged haired asked

“the girl.”

“...AAH! YOU’RE SUGA’S LONG TIME CRU-”

“hehe, y/n! do you mine waiting me by the gate? we’ll go home together.” he covered the mouth of the oranged haired boy before he could continue. you nodded and skipped to the gate.

“hinata....you almost made me dig my own grave” suga sighed with relieved.

“heheheh”

you didn’t wait for too long before you saw suga running towards you. You both walked home in silence before he broke it.

“ the stars are pretty today.” you looked up, and nodded in agreement. You recalled what the little tangerine head said and was really curious in what he meant.

“hey,, what did that tangerine head meant when he said you had a crush on me?” he chocked on his own saliva. His cheeks flushed red immediately.

“e-eh? what do you mean?” he tried to play it off, changing the subject about how his body was aching from practice.

“koushi, i’m not dumb. i know what he was trying to say.” he knew he was defeated. he sighed, before looking up at the sky again as he spoke.

“ well,,,i’ve actually known you before. We..passed by each other at the convenient store once. I was crying, and you were there to buy me tissue and a small melon bread. i guess,,,,i liked you since then? i opened my window one day and saw you. i havent seen you since the incident for months. You were crying, just like how i was. i can’t possibly come up to your door so i drew a paper airplane down. Surprisingly it landed right into your window, and i chickened out so i shut mine. i never thought you’d actually contact me. but when you did,,my heart was pounding like crazy. I guess ever since then i just wanted to give you all my attention, since it was the only way i could show my love for you..” he fiddled with his fingers and looked down at the ground. You couldn’t help but giggle from his cute confession.

“haa koushi, you’re so cute. i guess- i can say i feel the same.”

“w-wait what?” he looked at you, and you couldn’t help make the first move.

“wanna date?”

“IT’S THAT EASY?! but...i wanted to ask you that..”

“then, i would have said yes.” you gave him the warmest smile which he returned with his.

“then it’s a yes for me too.” he grabbed your hand and pulled you slightly closer.

“i look forward to the future with you, y/n” he whispers to your ear.

“koushi...that’s so cheesy !!” you playfully smack his shoulder.

but you don’t deny it, you as well look forward to the future, with him by your side.

a/n: Omg i had so much distractions writing this while listening to vocaloid so it turned out super whacky and just- not up up to my standard im so sorry TmT. also sorry my stories are like super duper long, i’ll maybe add a word count next time (keyword: maybe sjsjj) But these few days i’m kind of dry with story ideas, so feel free to send in some requests !! i’d take some time if i’m ever free to go through and try to write some of your requests !! again, thank you so so much for 100 notes on my previous post, it really made my day !! X33 <3333

#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #sugawara x reader #sugawara koshi imagine #sugawara fic #sugawara kōshi #sugawara x y/n #sugawara scenario #haikyuu!!#haikyu!!#haikyu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n

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shadowfae · 4 years ago

Note

Do you want to explain what that last ask was? I gotta say you look like an entitled prick in your response and the asker was making some pretty serious accusations. I thought you seemed chill but that entire thing is painting you in a pretty messed up light.

You’re right. I do sound like an entitled prick, and to be quite honest? That’s just fine. Because if I’m a heartless jerk, they can’t hurt me. They can’t touch me if I don’t give them anything to argue with.

This happened in the Evillious Chronicles fandom - you may know best the Vocaloid song Servant of Evil, that’s their most famous song. In the English discord for it.

Well, there was me and a few other ‘kin folks in there, all fictionkind from EC, all of varying ages. This was... I want to say 2016. I could be wrong. Scroll back in my blog and check when I figured out I was Pale, that happened right at the beginning of it.

I was 16-17 or so, maybe 15? I don’t remember. But there was Seth, who was twelve, and Lawrence, who was like 21.

Seth is Seth Twiright. Lawrence was Adam Moonlit. Me, Pale Noel. Seth decided in all his twelve year old traumatized wisdom he was gonna get Lawrence to date him, because he missed his own Adam and figured this one was good enough. He said they were canonmates. Maybe they were. I don’t know and I don’t care.

Lawrence was this British guy in uni for physics who liked visual novels and talking to like-minded others, but didn’t get fandom very much and was so not prepared for this bullshit.

Seth liked the NSFW channels of the server, before the 18+ restriction on them. He had a few notable triggers - the word ‘daddy’ was the big one, there were others - and the rule was, triggers are banned in all but the trigger channels which were free for all. Unfortunately, this meant there had to be two NSFW channels, one where Seth ruled and you couldn’t say daddy, and one where you could and somehow he was still allowed in it.

(Edit: I forgot to mention, but like. Looking back, why the fuck was a 12yo allowed in the NSFW channels. Why.)

I dunno. Anyway, so Lawrence lets Seth make friends with him, Seth fixates the hell on Lawrence because he’s twelve and gay and doesn’t have a good support system or whatever. I was friends with Seth beforehand, because his kintype was mine’s creator and I did trust him a little automatically because of it. (I also immediately trust anyone named Yegor or Raisa, no surprise there). I shouldn’t have. Damn it, I shouldn’t have. But I did.

Seth also was very, very suicidal. Kid should’ve been hospitalized multiple times. But here’s me, who’s like sixteen and doesn’t know any better. I talk him out of suicide.

Again. And again. And again. I didn’t go forty-eight FUCKING hours without talking him back from death’s door. It got so bad, that after like six months of this, I couldn’t eat more than a third a plate of food or half a can of soup without immediately throwing it up, because of the stress. My family actually noticed to the point I was finally allowed to go get therapy, which I’d needed for years.

Me, who just wanted all my friends to not die, spent over a year constantly talking everyone out of suicide. Even Lawrence turned to me, and I helped.

Lawrence tried to take some time off to work on his visual novel. Seth started having such bad suicidal episodes I told Lawrence I’d kill him with my bare hands if he didn’t come back and help me fucking deal with it, because I wasn’t good enough and Seth wanted him.

This got back to the server, one of the admins said this was too far out of line, and I got thrown from the server. I confessed to Seth how suicidal I was, trusting he’d talk to me the same way I’d been talking to him for probably two years, and he said something like “I don’t have the energy for this I’m sorry :(” like I’d ever had the energy to do it for him and yet somehow, I still did.

I almost failed two finals - two very important finals that determined what universities I could even apply to - because I couldn’t study because I had to talk him out of suicide.

By the time all was said and done, I’d been the only one keeping three people from killing themselves for over six months. Lawrence, and Seth. And also myself.

Two or three years later, you know what I know?

Seth called Lawrence a pedophile when and only when Lawrence proved he wasn’t going to let Seth control his every move. Before then, he doted on him like no tomorrow. He realized he could just say “pedophile” and everyone would believe him. I did too, until I’d been away long enough to realize he’d been manipulating me, too.

Seth started it. He fucking started it! Lawrence just wanted to make some friends and talk about his experiences as Adam. He actually made up a girlfriend and roleplayed as her with her own discord account in hopes we’d fucking believe him and leave him alone. At the time, I mocked it, but I’d been manipulated by Seth and didn’t understand it.

Seth will tell you Lawrence is a pedophile. He wasn’t. He was the poor bastard who just so happened to be kind to a megalomaniacal twelve year old (note, Seth did turn thirteen somewhere in here so if I fuck that up, forgive me) and just so happened to fit what he wanted to do.

I. Kept. Seth. Alive.

I kept five fucking people alive, when I was sixteen, and what do I get out of it? Seth tells me that I’m the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. I do not and might not for a decade be able to interact with EC. My own source. Nobody in this fandom save for Soubi, who knew me before and still follows me, will forgive me, because I told Lawrence I’d kill him myself if he didn’t help me keep Seth alive.

I can’t go back to my own source because Seth wanted to see how many people he could manipulate into adoring him. It’s been three years, and if you stress me out enough, I still throw up.

You’ll notice I have very little fear response anymore. I don’t get scared. I just get angry. Go on, guess why that is. Guess! It’s because he traumatized me! He traumatized all of us!

I don’t like calling myself traumatized. You know why. Other people had it worse. And for the most part, I’m over it. I can’t talk anyone out of suicide anymore, not even once. It reminds me of the pure, primal terror of keeping five people alive. One, I could’ve handled. Two, if one was me, yeah sure. But three? No. It was too much.

One was too much to ask of any sixteen year old.

I still throw up if I get stressed. I can never give anyone who really needs it the kindness I gave a twelve year old who didn’t deserve it. But you know what?

If I had to go back and do it all over again, if you made me go through it all, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I thought he was a victim. Because I thought he was truly hurt. Because I wanted to help.

He didn’t deserve it. Frankly, if he’d died somewhere along the way and instead of him coming into my inbox and bitching about how horrible I am you’d told me he was dead, I wouldn’t be upset. I don’t want to say “Good riddance,” because I wouldn’t say that, but I wouldn’t mourn him.

Maybe Seth deserved better in the start. But I can’t say he deserved better than me, because saving him and everyone was the strongest, bravest thing I’ve ever done. Because he didn’t fucking deserve me, but I deserve me, and what I did was brave. What I did was cruel. What I did was kind.

At the end of the day, I saw a hurting teen who needed help, and I helped. It doesn’t matter that it was all a lie. I did what I could. I did what I had to.

Let him tell the world I traumatized him, because I made damn sure he lived. Let him call me worse than a pedophile, because I refuse to let his memory silence me. Let him stew in his hatred and his sorrow and his megalomania, because I stopped being suicidal, because I realized nothing could be worse than what I’d just been through.

Sometimes you have to argue like an asshole. I’m not going to justify myself to him anymore. I’m not gonna give them something to argue about, they aren’t doing it in good faith. I’m not going to reason with them, they won’t listen. I deserve better.

I do. It just took me far, far too long to realize it.

#asks #sleeping-deity #kin drama //#that ec drama

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yellowocaballero · 4 years ago

Text

You And Me (And Your Friend Daisy)

Thanks for pushing me to finish this, Anon! This is a short, fun, and romantic story written in the verse of my other fics Bell, Book, and Candle and No Sin But Ignorance. Takes place some time post the ending of No Sin But Ignorance. That being said, this is probably very comprehensible without knowledge of those fics, so feel free to just view it as a no-apocalypse au. The majority of this was written while writing Feste - more accurately, when I needed a break from the crushing depression of Feste, so that’s why it’s so cheerful. :)

Yes, it’s named after that Garfunkel and Oates song, because that’s the plot.

The rest of the story is under the cut!

*******************************************

“Are you going to tell me where we are?”

“You have to guess! And no peeking!”

Jon sighed, slouching in his seat. He hated surprise vacations. He hated being forced to leave work and ‘take a break’ because ‘you’re contractually obligated to use your PTO hours’. And he did take vacations, he didn’t know why everybody acted like he didn’t. He and Georgie took Gerry to Blackpool once a year for Spring Break. That was a whole week off. That was enough for anybody.

But Martin had been pointedly sending him emails about ‘fun couple’s trips’ and ‘romantic getaways’ in an ultra-subtle act of subliminal messaging. Indeed, the three emailed promotional advertisements listing off fun, relaxing, and romantic things to do with your significant other were so subtle that Emma was forced to listen in on the automated JAWS voice reading them out and then call him a ‘fucking idiot’.

Whatever. It wasn’t as if Gertrude took any vacations, and nobody got on her back for it. Jon was willing to bet that Dekker never sent Gertrude any passive aggressive emails. He would have to ask him later - they got boba together once a month, he was an excellent conversational partner. He was, of course, slightly insane, both for his fervent adherence to the ancient religions and willingness to come within five feet of Gertrude Robinson for personal reasons, but all the best supernatural hunters were.

“Well, we’ve clearly been driving north for the past eight hours, judging from the angle of the sun,” Jon said, annoyed. The car radio was playing the Archers in a dull drone, which Jon had insisted upon, because he and Daisy never missed an episode. This confused and frightened Martin. A bag rustled, and Jon knew that Martin was fishing around in the plastic convenience store sack for more Jaffa cakes. “Combined with the time, that can only mean that we’re going to Scotland. I don’t have any close friends in Scotland and I’m willing to be you don’t either -”

“Hey!”

“ - so unless you assigned yourself the task of following up on the Scottish Slaughter Statement without me assigning it to you, and deciding to bring me along, I’m guessing that we’re going to stay in a hotel and do...touristy things.”

“Wrong again,” Martin said triumphantly. He liked keeping track of every time Jon was innocently incorrect about something, just to prove it to everyone else. “I mean, yes, we are in Scotland, you’re right about that, but we are not staying in a hotel. We’re staying in the country.”

“Darling, I would love to sit on the Scottish Moors and stare out into the endless, unceasing fog with you in complete silence,” Jon said lovingly, “but I thought you wanted to do something romantic.”

“That’s not romantic?” Martin gasped, horrified. “Have you even read Wuthering Heights?”

“You and Gerry are two peas in a goth pod.”

“He’s goth, I’m gothic. There’s a difference. And don’t tell me that you don’t enjoy gothic literature - you’re literally a Byronic hero.”

“Oh, here we go,” Jon sighed, as the car bumped over a speed bump. He hadn’t heard another car for hours now, and he knew that they had to be in the middle of nowhere. The weather had grown colder, more humid, and occasionally he could hear the bleat of cows. It was...calming.

Then Martin started listing off the very many reasons why Jon was a classical Byronic hero, then Jon had to remind him that none of that stuff had technically happened, then Martin began insisting that it happened in their hearts, then Jon got deeply engrossed into today’s episode of the Archers and felt the need to inform Martin about its illustrious and aged history, which prompted Martin to put on Hatsune Miku when the episode was over and indoctrinate Jon into whatever ‘Vocaloid’ was, and by the time the car transitioned to skittering over bumpy gravel they were both entering a heated discussion about the most superior of the ‘Vocaloids’.

“ - and she created Minecraft?”

“And she’s trans,” Martin said heatedly.

“Good for her,” Jon said, just bemused. The car engine quieted, and keys clinked and rustled. “Are we here?”

“Yep! Seven hours later.” Martin sighed and made a quiet, satisfied noise, probably stretching, and Jon didn’t bother to fight his smile. Man was like a cat. “I want to show you around and everything, but honestly that drive was exhausting and I might take a nap first.” He sighed happily. “Peace. Quiet. No coworkers.”

“I’m your coworker,” Jon pointed out, opening the door of the car as Martin did the same. He stepped onto gravel, grinding his trainer a little into it, and breathed in. The air tasted...fresh. Clean. Pure and just a little chilly. It was nice. It perked Jon up, as the wind lightly tousled his curls. He stretched his legs too, cramped from being knitted up in the small car. Martin popped the boot and started loading packages into his arms, and Jon walked over and held his arms out so he could help Martin carry the packages. Martin dropped a picnic basket filled with snacks in his arms, and handed him his own suitcase, as Martin dropped his own suitcase on the ground with a heavy thump. “How does a teenage girl create a video game? That’s very impressive.”

“This week you are my boyfriend,” Martin corrected him, thumping the boot down. “No Emma getting on my case about misfiling the papers. No Michael concern trolling me. No Eric judging me for my taste in tea. No Gertrude terrifying me every second of the day. I am free. I am not going to think about work, or anybody related to work, for a single second. No Entities. No fear demons. No monsters, besides my boyfriend.”

“Thanks,” Jon said wryly. “Aren’t we forgetting someone?”

“Oh, darn it!” Martin opened the back door of the car, and pulled out a carrier. The wire door of the carrier cinched open and Tiresias came bounding out, barking madly and running in little circles around Jon, his tail beating against Jon’s leg. Jon laughed, lifting his burden higher in his arms, and let Martin loop his arm around Jon’s and guide him towards what he had to assume was some kind of building. “C’mere, boy. Good boy! You were so good for the trip! You’re getting a hundred snacks as soon we get inside.”

“Are you going to tell me where we are yet?” Jon asked, exasperated.

Martin squeezed his arm happily as they walked up an incline, shoes scuffing dirt. “I got permission from Daisy to borrow it. It’s her cabin, just outside of Applecross. It’s really in the middle of nowhere, nobody around for kilometers. Just us and a great deal of cows. It’s really gorgeous, Jon, with such clean air and beautiful hills. I can’t wait to go for walks with you. You’ll get so much time to go through your audiobook collection. And we can snuggle, and I can cook for you, and we can listen to more radio dramas, and we can talk about our future, and you can pet the cows…”

“Sounds wonderful,” Jon said honestly, squeezing Martin’s arm back. They paused, Martin rustling his keys again, and Jon heard the grinding of metal before a door seemed to creak open. “I can’t wait to spend this week with you. I could use a little peace, I think.”

“Gods, me too. You have no idea how stressed I’ve been. It’ll be just you, me, and -”

That’s when Martin screamed, and Tiresias barked excitedly and ran forward, almost bowling Jon over, and a familiar voice broke the quiet of the rustic cabin.

“Aren’t you a good boy, Tiresias? Aren’t you a good boy?” Daisy Tonner’s grin was audible through her words, but it held a familiar tint of ferociousness. “Hullo, Jon. Blackwood. What are you doing here a week early?”

“Early!” Martin squeaked. “I said we were coming up the first week of September -”

“Really?” Daisy said, voice casual. Seemingly. “Because I have it down in my calendar as the second week. This is my vacation. And I’m not leaving.”

Silence stretched between them. Jon smiled happily towards the sound of Daisy’s voice, placing his burdens at his feet, and soon Daisy walked forward and enveloped him in a bone cracking hug.

“It’s so good to see you,” Jon said, hugging her tightly back too. “I’m sure we can share the cabin for the week. It’ll be fun, like a sleepover!”

“Oh, I think so too,” Daisy said, her voice tinged in a wolf’s grin. “Don’t you think so, Martin?”

“Good fucking christ,” Martin said.

****

True to his word, Martin was exhausted enough that he immediately made the bed and collapsed into it. Jon lovingly took off his shoes and socks and Tiresias even, adorably, pulled the comforter up around Martin’s ears. But Martin didn’t sleep: he seemed preoccupied in angrily muttering to himself about how he didn’t get the time wrong, she did, this was all her fault, and it was also completely on purpose, devil woman, everybody was trying to ruin everything -

“Love, if I ask her to go, she’ll go,” Jon said.

“No! Ugh!” Martin screamed lowly, muffled, and Jon realized with amusement he was screaming into the pillow. “It’s her house, she’s doing us a favor, I don’t want to be rude! I can’t kick her out of her own home!”

“Are you going to be passive aggressive at her until she leaves?”

Incriminatingly, Martin was silent.

“She’s more stubborn than you are. If you try to solve this with your usual methods she’ll outlast you.”

“I hate her so much,” Martin groaned.

“Don’t say that,” Jon said loyally. “She’s really come around to you, you know. She hasn’t threatened to chop your dick off in - oh, two weeks now. That’s a new record.”

Martin groaned again. Jon kissed him on the cheek, turned the light off - “Jon, you just turned the light on.” - turned the light off for real this time, and went into the living room/dining room/kitchen to start putting away all the food they had brought. He bent over his suitcase, withdrawing Tiresias’ harness, and whistled to call him over before snapping the harness on. Tiresias stiffened into what Georgie called ‘Buisness Boy Mode’, and Jon grabbed his handle with one hand as he loaded the groceries into the other.

“Here, let me help.” Daisy lifted the other load from the floor, leading the both of them into the kitchen and opening the fridge. “I know Georgie’s organizational system.”

Jon just sighed, slowly navigating his way to the fridge to put his own load away. They had clothing to unpack, things to set up, and arrangements to plan, but Jon had the sense that none of it was getting done immediately.

“What were your plans for this week?”

“I normally go up here to hunt,” Daisy grunted, sliding cans into the cabinet. At Jon’s raised eyebrow, she clarified, “with guns. They’re all locked up in the gun cabinet, as is my ammo and knives. Neither you nor Martin have the keys, but the cabinet is in a closet near the bathroom. That should be locked too.”

“Goodness, Daisy, I’m not an errant toddler. I won’t play with your collection.”

“You’re my errant toddler,” Daisy said loyally, giving him a noogie and making him scowl. “Say it. Say you’re an errant toddler.”

“Goodness, Daisy, leave me be -”

Then she lifted him up, like he was nothing more than a bundle of sticks, and held him in the air as he screamed and kicked his legs, trying to get down. Tiresias, the Traitor, the Serpent, the King of Lies, barked happily. “Let me down! Daisy!”

“Say you’re an errant toddler and I’ll let you down.”

“I shan’t. Daisy, stop -!” But then she started tickling him, which was extremely dangerous, and Jon was forced to cackle out in breathless laughter, “Fine, I’m a toddler, let me down, you crazy woman!”

She tossed him lightly onto the pull-out couch, putting away the rest of the groceries herself, and Jon let Tiresias sit on top of him and lick his face as he could almost audibly hear Martin pouting in the bedroom.

“This’ll be fun,” Daisy said, shutting the cabinet and rustling some familiar boxes. “Can’t believe Tim paid me fifty quid to do this. I would have done it for free.”

“Do what?”

“Never mind. I have your copy of Life, do you want to play?”

“Sure!” Jon sat up, feeling Daisy sit down next to him and set out the game pieces. Then something occurred to him. “Wait. What are you doing with my copy of Life?”

“Georgie lent it to me.”

“...why did Georgie -”

“I was going to leave it here for when you came up,” Daisy said easily, and Jon nodded in acceptance. “Spin the spinner to see whose turn comes first.”

Jon considered thinking deeper about this, but Daisy wouldn’t lie to him. She was the most trustworthy person he knew. She didn’t have a deceitful bone in her body. He shrugged and reached forward and found the spinner, giving it a good twist before rubbing his thumb over the braille. Something occurred to him.

“Maybe we can ask Martin if he wants to join -”

“I’m sure he would prefer his rest.”

“Okay!”

This vacation was going to go great. Why had Jon been worried?

****

That night they had a delicious barbecue outside, cooked by Daisy. Martin ate it in angry silence, which was quickly broken by Jon’s frequent nudges and directions for conversation. He wasn’t the most socially adept person at the best of times, but Martin and Daisy were two of his best friends and he knew how to get the both of them talking. He was even able to draw them into a spirited conversation about 19th century literature - Daisy preferred Russian novels, while Martin preferred Gothic romances and Hugo and Jon tended towards nonfiction. Afterwards Daisy grabbed her gun, kissed Jon on the cheek, did something that made Martin squeak in fear, and tramped off to go hunt deer or something. Jon waved her off with a blessing, his sixth sense thrumming with satisfaction for the Sacrifice.

He spent the night cuddled up with Martin, watching Beauty and the Beast on his laptop. Martin was obsessed with Disney movies in a way that explained a great deal about him, and Beauty and the Beast was his absolute favorite. Jon ran his fingers through his soft and feathery hair as Martin squeezed his hand, and Jon’s heart settled in complete contentment. The audio description voice droned gently about the heartwarming falling in love montages, but Jon wasn’t really paying attention: he just felt safe, and warm, and as if he wanted the moment to last forever.

Then his mobile rang, a clear automated voice saying “Gerard calling. Gerard calling.”

“Oh, I should get that.” Jon straightened, throwing out a hand on the coffee table where he thought he had put his phone, and Martin pressed it into his hand. He accepted the call quickly, putting it on speaker and holding it up to his ear just like, he was reliably assured, ‘an old man’. “Hello, honey?”

“Jon!” Gerry yelled. “Did you get the cabin okay?”

“Oh, so everyone knew but me,” Jon said, amused. “You’re on speaker, Gerry, so say hello to Mr. Blackwood.”

“Hi Martin! Are you guys having a good time? You have to take me next time, I want to see Daisy’s guns!”

“You will not see Daisy’s guns,” Jon said quickly.

“Hi Gerry,” Martin said, a smile clear in his somewhat strained voice. “Sure, you and Georgie should come up next time. Make it a party. Why not.”

“Told you she’d do it,” Georgie said, and Jon perked up. “Hullo, love. How’s your romantic getaway going?”

“Oh, it’s lovely,” Jon said, excited. “We’re going to walk down to the town tomorrow, check out some of their antique stores. I’ll let you know if we find any interesting art.”

“I’ve been up to Daisy’s cabin a few times with Melanie, it’s delightful. Great place for her to hunt and for me to practice my carrion photography. It’s always nice just to get away from it all! I hope you haven’t touched any work, Jon.”

“I haven’t,” Jon said loyally. He paused a beat. “Do Statements count? Because I was planning on listening to a few recorded ones as a sort of bedtime story?”

“That’s just self-care,” Georgie assured him. “Treat yourself, queen.”

“Thanks, honey. Make sure Gerry gets his homework done? Do you need any help? I have some time now -”

“I got it,” Georgie said, laughing slightly. “I can still help a fifteen year old with his English. I’ll make sure he brushes his teeth too. Just enjoy yourself.”

“Have a good time, Dad!” Gerry called, the affectionate nickname making Jon smile. “Bring me back a cow!” Slightly more muffled, Jon heard him say to Georgie, “Mum, when Jon goes on a romantic getaway, what do you think they -”

“Night, honey! Night, Martin! Love you!” Georgie called loudly.

Jon laughed, unable to stop himself from waving a little, as if they were there. “Night, you two. Love you too. Stay safe.”

“We will! Bye!”

The line clicked off, and Martin’s arm stretched across Jon’s shoulders squeezed a little tighter. Jon extended a foot and clicked the space bar on the computer, starting up the movie again.

“You’d make a really good dad,” Martin said, almost to himself.

Jon settled back against Martin, leaning his head against his shoulder. “I feel like one already, honestly. Obviously, I have far more experience with teenagers than babies, but they can’t be that hard. If I don’t drop them…why?”

Martin coughed a little, abruptly flustered. “No reason! No reason.”

“Do you want kids?”

“Can’t exactly have them biologically,” Martin muttered, before sighing. “Yeah, I’d love to...foster or adopt or something. I’ve had my - differences - with my parents, but I’m still glad they adopted me, you know? I’d like to pass that on. But...better. Much better.”

“Georgie is talking about fostering again once Gerard moves in with Eric,” Jon said quietly. The thought of Gerry moving out, of living full time with Eric again - it just seemed weird. Almost wrong, although it wasn’t - Eric adored Gerry, and he was a competent father. It was just that...well, technically, Gerry had been living with them since the beginning of the universe. On a purely literal level, they really had always had Gerry with them. It would be strange. “As a - recipient of the foster care system myself, I’d like to make a difference too.” He smiled thinly. “We’re very compatible, aren’t we?”

“Would it be...you and Georgie…?”

“I don’t know. Does it matter?”

Martin sighed a little. “Is it dumb that sometimes it feels like you already have a family built in?”

Hm. Jon hadn’t quite thought about it that way. “You know those jokes about me and Georgie being married are just jokes,” Jon said reproachfully.

Martin moved away a little, leaning forward, slipping his arm from Jon’s shoulder. He abruptly missed the warmth. “But you’re partners. You’re raising a kid. And I know Daisy and Tim think of themselves as your overprotective big siblings, they aren’t even wrong.”

“Many people have siblings? And friends? Some even have kids, I’ve heard.”

“I don’t.” There was really nothing for Jon to say to that, so he didn’t say anything. “I don’t want my entire social circle to just be through you…”

“It won’t be,” Jon said firmly, reaching out a hand and brushing it against Martin’s arm. He squeezed it firmly. “You don’t have to be Lonely anymore, Martin. I won’t let you.”

“Is that a promise?” Martin said, as if he was joking, as if Jon wasn’t certain that he wasn’t. As if he needed the reassurance.

“How can you be lonely when I’m here?” Jon said, and trailed his hand up along Martin’s arm until he reached his neck and he could cup his face. He rubbed a thumb against his wispy stubble, light and thin. “I’m right here.”

Martin kissed him, and then the movie was quite thoroughly forgotten as Jon necked with his boyfriend on the couch like a teenager. They forgot everything, and for a small period of glorious time Jon forgot everything that he knew, in all of its entirety, and his Eye saw only the here and now.

Then the door thumped open, the wind blew into the cabin, and heavy footsteps thumped into the room. Something dragged behind the footsteps, something that sounded a bit...wet.

Martin, who was thoroughly on top of Jon and almost done unbuttoning his shirt, froze. Jon just craned his head, trying to hear the sounds of what was likely a dead deer being pulled in through the entrance way better.

“Hello Daisy!” Jon said, still pinned down. “How was your hunting?”

“Lucrative. We’re eating venison tomorrow.”

“Great! Need any help getting that put away?”

“No, I’m good.” Tiresias barked happily. “Here, boy, you can have a little. Good boy. I’ll probably skin and clean it outside, I just wanted to get my gloves.”

“Take your time!”

Martin sighed and got off Jon, straightening his own clothing. “Yeah, Daisy, take your time.”

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Daisy said blithely. “I didn’t mean to.”

“You’re fine,” Jon assured her, fixing his own hair from where it had grown tangled. “Want to finish this movie with us?”

“Sure, let me gut this animal first.”

“Great! Scooch over, Martin.”

“You know,” Martin said, “maybe we want to move to the bedroom?”

“If we stay in the living room I can hook up your laptop to the television and we can watch the movie that way,” Daisy said innocently.

“That sounds good,” Jon agreed. He patted Martin’s hand. “Is that alright with you?”

Martin sighed. “Yeah. Of course.”

That night, Jon curled up next to Martin on the creaky wooden bed, listening to the flies buzz around them and the crickets hiss their lilting song outdoors.

His earbuds were still nestled in his ears, the soft hum of his Walkman cutting the quiet night, his own pre-recorded voice reading out a story. Martin sat next to him, and occasionally Jon could hear the soft shift of the pages of a book turning. Every so often Martin would gasp, or make a little noise at some exciting event in his book.

Jon rolled over, throwing out an arm and pulling Martin in close, resting his head on Martin’s shoulder as he let the earbuds roll gently out of his ears. Martin was soft and warm, the cotton of his t-shirt rubbing up against Jon’s cheek, and Jon let his mind gently bliss out and drift away.

He thought about the breakfast he wanted to make the next morning, and of the soft beat of Scottish sun on his face. He thought about the creak of cobblestones as jumped-up jalopies rolled over them, and of the shifting and groan of old wood. He thought of the bright, sharp summer smell of the highlands, and the sinking and sticky marshland.

“We should visit the antique store in town tomorrow,” Jon murmured. “Georgie’s been looking for a new lamp, and I think they should have a nice Rococo one for cheap.”

“Oh? Maybe I can pick something up too.” Martin gently scratched Jon’s scalp, making him bliss out even further. “Nice of you to always loop us in on the best deals, you little shopping catalogue.”

They, of course, had not been to the town yet, and there was no reason for Jon to know of the antique store, or the Rococo lamp. Jon hadn’t even thought about it, the information as available and easy as the layout of the convenience store down the street and a left turn from his childhood council flat.

Martin’s voice broke the quiet, cutting through the buzz of insects. “You know I love you, right?”

“I know everything,” Jon yawned, snuggling into Martin’s side closer.

“Not what I meant.” Martin hesitated, almost awkwardly. “You’re a literal mind reader and everything, but I’m not, so…”

“Oh, Martin.” Jon reached a hand up and cupped Martin’s cheek. “I built this world from the bedrock of my love for you.”

“Uh - wow! That’s - it’s kind of weird how you can just say that and have it be true!”

“Our lives are weird,” Jon agreed, brushing his thumb over Martin’s lips, and he carefully leaned his head up to kiss him, and they passed the long silent minutes just like that.

Several hours later, Jon found himself jerking awake. Martin was snoring beside him, and he couldn’t feel any sun on his face, so Jon figured it was likely still nighttime. He carefully slipped out of bed, reaching out a hand and trailing it along the wall until he managed to leave the bedroom, navigate down the hall, and enter what he was fairly sure was the living room.

“Jon?” A voice broke the night. Daisy, who had taken the pull-out couch. “You looking for the loo?”

It was only then that Jon realized that he didn’t know why he had gotten up. Tiresias snored loudly in the kitchen, adding a subtle undertone to the noise from outside, and Jon found himself shrugging helplessly. “I don’t think so. Did I wake you up?”

“Nah. Hold tight, I’ll help you to the couch.” Sure enough, after the almost silent footsteps echoed through the main room Jon felt a soft hand on his back, and she led him towards the couch. Jon lightly kicked it, testing its height, and gently lowered himself onto it, the springs of the pull-out bed breaking through the night. “What has you up?”

Jon just shrugged again. The bed creaked beside him, and he felt calloused fingers carding through his hair with gentleness that would have been surprising to most people.

“Am I a bad boyfriend?” Jon asked, surprising himself. He hadn’t even known he was thinking that.

“Did Blackwood tell you that you were?” Daisy asked sharply.

“No! No, not at all.” Jon sighed. “I just...I just have different needs than him.” He could already tell what Daisy was thinking, and he shook his head. “Not about the - the you know what thing. I just...I know how much he loves me. I know what he thinks of me, I know his dedication to me. Sometimes I just assume that he’s - capable, of what I’m capable of. Do I not tell him I love him enough? Am I not affectionate enough?”

“You aren’t as perceptive as you think you are, Jon,” Daisy said, amused. “I think you’ll find that Blackwood has quite a few more secrets than you think he does.” She untangled her fingers from his hair and squeezed his arm. “Blackwood’s insecure. All insecure people want mindreader boyfriends. But you force him to use his words and ask for what he needs, Jon. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s good for him. He needs to learn to speak up for himself.” She hummed slightly. “He reminds me of Basira, a little. She’ll never tell you that you bothered her, and she just lets it pile up and up. But then you go just a little too far, and then she explodes all of that pent up anger and frustration on you. She likes to pretend she’s a real robot, but she’s just as human as the rest of them.”

“I’m so terrified of Basira,” Jon said miserably. “Remember when I dropped a plate and she told me that the reason why my gran didn’t love me was because I was an attention seeking nine year old?”

“She’s so mean. I love her so much.” Daisy patted Jon on the back. “Buck up. I’m working on Blackwood. You focus on enjoying your vacation.”

Jon let himself lean to the side, resting his head on Daisy’s shoulder. “I’m worried that Martin will realize that I’m not capable of expressing romantic affection in a socially typical manner and leave me.”

“God, shut up, whiner.” But the bed creaked and Daisy’s head gently slid out from under his shoulder, and Daisy gently helped Jon to his feet. “I’ll get you back to bed. Bitch about your imaginary relationship problems to me in the morning.”

Translated: I love you, I’ll always be here for you, and goodnight. Jon huffed a quiet laugh. “Aren’t the lights off? How can you see anything?”

When Daisy spoke again, a quiet bass growl echoed underneath her words, and Jon grinned with her. He Knew, like how he Knew that he loved Martin enough to destroy the world, that Daisy’s eyes were flickering yellow in the darkness. “Don’t be fooled by appearances, Jon.”

She helped him back to bed, and when Jon slept through the rest of the night he dreamed of nothing but Martin’s weight on his.

****

“What a beautiful morning!” Martin said loudly. “The birds are chirping, the Scottish highlands are beautiful, I am here on my romantic vacation away from everybody with only my lovely boyfriend for company - and Daisy Tonner!”

“Glad to be here,” Daisy said affably.

“This is so much fun!” Martin said, still loudly.

“I think so too!” Jon said enthusiastically.

Tiresias barked.

After a breakfast pointedly prepared by Martin, they all got dressed and saddled up to go walk into the village. It was a quick walk, only about twenty minutes, and Martin and Daisy enjoyed the scenery as Jon enjoyed the warm grip of Martin’s hand in his and the breeze on his face.

When the trail began sloping further downhill, and their footsteps began to slide against the incline, Jon pulled what Gerry would have called a ‘pro-gamer move’ and moved his grip up until he was clinging to Martin’s arm. Martin sprayed a hand out, resting it against Jon’s back, and helped him down the trail.

“Whoah! You alright, honey? Careful of your step!”

“Jesus christ,” Daisy muttered.

“It’s hardly Jon’s fault -” Martin began heatedly.

“Yeah, Daisy,” Jon said, delighting in setting them against each other like the cold, uncaring god he was, “check your privilege.”

Then they were off, because despite Daisy was allergic to social consciousness, and Jon whistled a jaunty tune, composed in the 15th century and unknown to all but its lonely shepherd creator, as they navigated their way downwards.

The village was small, nothing more than two streets with cheerful wooden facades and swing porches set out on the decks with wizened elderly people sipping from bottles of Irn Bru and smoking down cigarettes to the dregs. At least, as narrated by Martin, who seemed to already be mentally writing his small-town murder mystery in the Scottish highlands (Martin’s poetry needed work, but his fiction held a certain massmarket appeal). Knowing Martin, the protaganist would likely be either a grandmother with his own personality, or a thirtysomething gay man who had twelve counts of arson on his record and was running from the cops.

Wait. Wait, Jon should use his words. Ask instead of look. Display interest in Martin’s inner life - which, granted, seemed to be a waste of time when Jon could just Know and not waste his breath, but Georgie had been coaching him in this.

“You should give the ex-con narrator a boyfriend,” Jon said supportively. “Maybe bring back the gay bar owner from the last book?”

Martin almost tripped over the gravel. “How did you know I was thinking of - Jon, I told you not to read my mind!”

“Lay off, you know he doesn’t do it on purpose,” Daisy said uninterestedly, growling at what Jon guessed were passerby on the street.

“Daisy, stop telling me how to talk to my boyfriend -”

“Oh, he’s your boyfriend now, is he?”

“Yes! Yes, he is!”

“Let’s get some ice cream!” Jon said loudly.

“How did you even know there was an ice cream - fine! Fine, of course!” Martin sighed loudly. “Why not!”

As it turned out, they were right in front of ice cream. Jon loved it when things worked out.

****

Twenty minutes later, after Martin laboriously reading out all of the entirely too many flavors to Jon, Daisy growling at everybody at the store like an errant dog, fighting with the owner of the store extremely politely about his actual dog existing, and finally taking their ice cream outside to sit at a picnic bench and attack their waffle cones, Jon felt content.

He indicated this by telling everybody everything he knew about emulsifiers, which were extremely neat and a lot of fun! Because nobody was stopping him talking by saying ‘let’s talk about something else, Jon’ or ‘isn’t that a bit boring, Jon?’ he moved onto the history of waffle cones, safe in his assumption that everybody was as interested in the topic as he was.

“I love you so much,” Martin said, somewhat dazed, when Jon stopped to draw a breath. “Did you know that this is the second time this has happened?”

That stopped Jon short, when nothing else did. “Really? Has it?”

Martin’s spoon scraped his small paper bowl. “Yep. Uh - for my birthday, I think. Me, Tim, and - and Sasha, and you. You ordered rum raisin. I was thinking...did you actually like rum raisin? Or did you just panic?” He laughed, somewhat self-consciously. “You didn’t remember about it even before the whole apocalypse thing, so no sweat, but…”

“Oh.” Jon realized, for probably the fifth time, that Martin held years and years worth of memories in him, and that Jon had only fragments and impressions. He knew that he had everything important, that everything he needed was within him, but - did he? What if he was missing the key to everything, the key to Martin, and all he needed was to just Look deeper? “That’s - I could remember it, if I wanted.”

“It’s fine, Jon,” Daisy said quietly. “Don’t go giving yourself a migraine.”

“I could,” Jon insisted. “I’d like to remember something like your birthday, Martin. Precious memories, or - or something. Give me a moment, I can send a quick prayer, and -”

“You know,” Martin said, and he squeezed Jon’s hand. “I’d rather make new memories right now. Where we are right now, that’s - that’s the most important place, innit?”

Jon smiled at him, and he knew, in the most mundane of ways, Martin was smiling back. “I like to think so too.”

“Ugh,” Daisy teased, although perhaps to an outsider it may have sounded mean, “get that sappy shit outta my face.”

“You’re just as bad with Basira,” Jon shot back, smiling. “You two are in love -”

“Take that shit back,” Daisy hissed.

“You want to get married -”

“Who told you!”

Jon tapped the lens of his glasses smugly. “A little Eye told me.”

“Beholding cuck.”

“No, that’s Peter -”

“Martin would know all about Peter, huh?” Daisy sneered, and the pressure on Jon’s hand intensified for a brief second before it withdrew completely, leaving his hand cold and empty.

“Jon, can you give me and Daisy a few minutes of privacy, please?” Martin said pleasantly.

Jon raised an eyebrow, licking the ice cream dripping down his hand. It was Vast flavor. Tasted like...ozone. “Why?”

“He doesn’t know the area, you can’t send him off alone,” Daisy shot back, strangely smugly. “Come on, Blackwood. Whatever you want to say to me, you can say it in front of him.”

“You know what, fine. Fine!” Martin thumped the table, making Jon start and Tireasias stiffen. “I have done nothing that warrants this kind of treatment from you. You are disrespecting me, disrespecting my relationship, and you are insulting my fucking intelligence. I appreciate you loaning us your cabin, but if I knew that it would come with strings attached then I would have paid for my own bloody hotel! Why are you doing this!”

“Tim gave me fifty quid,” Daisy said, like the wolf that had caught the canary. “Plus it’s fucking funny.”

“Done what?” Jon asked, confused.

“I want you out of my vacation, Daisy,” Martin hissed. “If you won’t leave the cabin, then I am booking my own Air BnB and that’s fucking final! I don’t care if I have to - to fight you in the street about it, I can and I will, you don’t want to mess with me -”

“Sure.”

Martin stopped short. Jon licked his ice cream, fascinated by the drama. “What?”

“I said sure,” Daisy enunciated clearly. “I was waiting for you to fucking say it. I told Basira I’d be home by tonight, anyway. Knew you’d snap.”

“I - what! What! What?!”

“You’re a pushover, Blackwood,” Daisy said. “Your coworkers, your friends, everyone - they just walk all over you. It’s fucking stupid. You are the archival assistant who survived the apocalypse with memories and sanity intact. You lasted longer on the position than anyone since Emma Harvey, and you didn’t have to lose your soul to do it. You looked Elias in the face as you burned his Archives down. You’re not a pussy. And I was sick of seeing you act like one. It’s fucking annoying.”

“I hate you so fucking much,” Martin whispered, somewhat in shock.

“Well, I hate seeing my best friend date a passive aggressive loser, so we’re both unhappy.” Daisy stood up, feet shuffling against the cement, and Jon felt her press a kiss against his forehead. “You two have a nice day out. I’m going to go hunt things, and head back to London. Take care of yourself, Jon. And cut out the PDA, it’s gross.”

Suddenly, violently, with a crushing realization, the entire vacation was recontextualized.

“I don’t appreciate any of this,” Jon said crossly, scowling in her direction. “Honestly, Daisy, you don’t -”

“Blame Tim. Love you, Jon. Love you, sweet puppy. See you later, Blackwood.”

Jon and Martin sat in silence as the sound of footsteps receded from Jon’s hearing, and the low murmur of the small village set in around them. Martin still seemed to slightly be in shock, his ice cream slowly melting, and Tiresias yawned sleepily in the sun.

“I hate her so fucking much,” Martin whispered.

But Jon just smiled, and reached out to brush a thumb over Martin’s close-cropped hair. He leaned in, whispering into Martin’s ear. “Hearing you yell at the scariest woman I know who isn’t Gertrude Robinson was pretty fucking sexy, love.”

“I hate her so - wait, it was? Really?” Martin coughed awkwardly. “Well, she really had it coming, and it’s not a huge deal, and I know she’s your best friend and I should be nice to her, but -”

“ - but she was right,” Jon said firmly. “An arse about making her point, but she was right. I’m working on using my words. You should too. All of the books say communication is key in a relationship. So let’s communicate, alright?” He faltered a little, uncertain if Daisy would want him to say this. “And - and it was obvious, from what she said, that Daisy respects you. It’s a very difficult thing, to win Daisy’s respect. I think she was trying to help us, in her own - unorthodox manner.”

“I hate her so much,” Martin groaned.

“It was very sexy,” Jon hinted.

Martin leaned in and kissed Jon lightly, and Jon could feel his smile against his own. “How about we finish our food,” he said quietly, “walk around town for a bit, buy some souvenirs for your family, and then go back to the cabin and snog and cuddle for a very long time? If that’s okay with you?”

“I’d like nothing more,” Jon said.

And he was right. It was messy, and weird, and painfully uncomfortable.

It was perfect.

#Bell book and candle #immortal with a kiss #no sin but ignorance #my writing #the closest thing you will ever see me write to a safehouse fic #jonmartin #the magnus archives #jonmartin fanfic #the magnus archives fanfic #tma #*bangs pots and pans* i am ace and sex-repulsed like jon so this is the bible how of how to write ace and sex-repulsed relationships #this is my 10 page apology for sidelining jonmartin in my 500 pages of tma fanfic

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punished-lamb · 4 years ago

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Mob’s Bizarre Adventure

Summary: This is a short spin-off story that involves Mob and Reigen preventing an evil demon from taking over MobDonalds. There are many exciting twists and turns as our heroes deal with this great mysterious threat. It’s very tongue and cheek.

Word Count: 2098

a/n: This is a goofy story contained in the Mob Psycho world that involves wacky high jinx and plentiful amounts of corn. This is my first posting, so enjoy the show and please leave any comments you want, thank you.

All was normal in Seasoning City, there hasn’t been a huge psychic threat in a while. Mob and Reigen only had to worry about the small exorcism work around town, so they could enjoy their personal lives better. The steady work flow isn’t much of a bother to either of them as it allows for a nice daily task.

Recently, Mob has been tasked with a daily mission, where he must exorcise a recurring demon at the local MobDonalds. Every day he is required to wear a corn cob costume and spin a sign to scare off the looming demon, or that’s at least what Reigen told him. Mob spends a few hours each day outside the establishment with him levitating the sign above his head as he wiggles his fingies in the air for extra flare. The sign reads “MobDonalds limited time exclusive Corn Mobs on a stick” for their new promotion.

Mob tries to stay enthused during his current assignment, but it’s starting to get him after doing it for the past 4 days. He just moves that sign like a good little boy for what seems like forever. As time passes more and more people are attracted to the establishment by Mob’s twirling. Luckly, Mob hasn’t encountered anyone he knows as he does this act, especially not Tsubomi. As Mob begins to doubt how much the is helping the demon problem, Tome spots him in his Corn Mob set up. She walks over with her sexy pink DS in her pocket. She asks, “Uhhh...Mob, why are you a corn?”

“Master said that if I do this, it’ll deter the demon that wishes to demolish this restaurant chain” said Mob in his usual monotone voice.

Tome gives a smug look, like if you rated her out of 10 on how smug she looked, that bitch would be SMUG. “You’re still taking those wack ass jobs, look at yourself, you’re a corn Mob, a corn.”

“I guess this task was a little out of the ordinary” Mob says as he looks down at the ground with the corn costume™ hiding his mouth in slight shame.

“Did he even tell you what the name of this “demon” was, Mob?” Tome asks, doubting the entire assignment.

Mob looks back at Tome and says, “Burger King”. Tome can’t believe how dumb that sounded. She tells him to get out of that costume as she goes to get them two corn mobs.

Mob walks to the bathroom that is located on the side of the building to get out of the corn costume™. He enters the men’s section and squeezes out of the costume from the head whole. The bathroom looks quite immaculate with every surface shining. Mob washes his face by the sink to get some of the sweat off from standing in the sun all day. He wiggles all the water off so he is no longer damp. He takes his corn costume™ and leaves the bathroom.

Mob sees Tome stand outside the MobDonalds with two corn mobs on a stick. She is already suckling hers because of the butter melting on it. “There you are Mob, took you long enough, your corn mob is drippy '', Tome calls out. Mob stares at the melty corn mob admiringly. “Uh, Mob. Get rid of that raggy costume already, it smells like ass bro.”

Mob throws the corn costume™ into its designated costume bin by the mobdonals gate. He then snags his corn mob from Tome’s delicious buttery hand. Mob thanks her for getting him a nice little treat as they walk around town together. The two suclke their corn mobs together as they chat about after school clubs.

As the two continue to chat, Mob’s phone begins to ring. Mob answers only to hear Reigen’s shouting voice, “Mob!!! Where’s the Corn Mob, Mob!!!”

“Uhhh...Corn Mob got a corn mob” said Mob hoping master won’t be as mad.

“YOU WHAT!!! Mob this job is of utmost importance, all these people are around this restaurant without a powerful corn esper to protect it. Think of the kids Mob” Reigen said angrily, clenching a corn mob in his hand

“Not to be rude but you never told me how a corn and esper hybrid was supposed to ward off a demon” Mob asked as Tome is devouring the corn mob in spectacular fashion.

“Mob, babycakes, you know demons work in unique ways” Reigen sighs, “Besides, you should have at least told me you felt for today, the MobDonalds manager is flipping out without its corn mob.”

“Sorry master, I guess it was spur of the moment,” Mob said while nibbling his corn mob.

Reigen responds with slight disappointment, “It’s okay, I’ll go take over, I’ll see ya later Mob.”

“Okay, see you, master” Mob hangs up and continues his hangout with Tome. They plan on heading to the shopping center and hanging out for the rest of the day.

As Mob goes on to enjoy the rest of his free day, Reigen is stuck in an undersized corn costume™, sweating his ass off with an advertising sign. “Oh my god, I didn’t know this suit was such a pain in the ass,” Reigen exclaimed with sweat covering his forehead. He had been taking Mob’s spot for what seemed like hours, but in reality was about 37 and a half minutes. Reigen passed the time in the by suckling as many corn mobs as he needed. And boy did he suckle them good…...what, anyways he was out there for a long time.

Reigen struggles to pull in as many customers as Mob did due to him not being able to spin the sign as skillfully. In fact, he keeps fumbling it on the ground. As he goes to pick up the sign, a little boy points at him and tugs his mother’s skirt. “Mommy, mommy look. There’s an old bum dressed as a corn mob,” yelled the snot nosed boy.

“Now, now, don’t make fun of the homeless Timmy,” the mother reprimanded her son as she dragged him away.

Reigen overheard the mother and boy duo and shattered his ego more than it was before. He grits his teeth and in that moment he decides that he is done for today. He angrily atoms to the bathroom area with his corn leaves rustling. He plops out of the corn costume™ and throws it in the outside dumpster. “Humf, serves that thing right.” He kicks the dumpster and stubs his toe. “Ack!!!”

Reigen proceeds to scream at the dumpster. But little did he know the chain reaction he just started. Although he didn’t take the Burger King demon seriously, there was trouble brewing there due to there not being a Corn Mob guardian in front of the MobDonalds establishment during its limited time offer.

Reigen notices a cold waft of air behind him. This alarming feeling causes him to turn around. He sees a burger king crown laying on the ground. His eyes widen as the ground starts to shake. Panic spreads throughout the MobDonalds line as the establishment begins to sink into the ground. A tiny mountain emerges with a Burger King on top of it. Reigen freaks out and calls Mob.

While all that was happening, Mob was still hanging out with Tome as they had a fun and exciting day in an Ikea. They have just exited the Swidish furniture store with meatball platters in hands. Mob’s phone starts playing Shawty Like a Melody as a ringtone for Reigen. Tome is quick to blurt out, “Oh my, it’s not who I think it is is it”

Mob just stares directly into Tome’s eyes as his eyes get increasingly bigger. Mob answers his absurdly tiny phone to hear Reigen freaking out. “Holy...MOB,MOB,MOB listen! You need to get over to MobDonalds right no…” Beep Beep Beep. Reigen was cut off due to an unknown reason.

“Tome, I think I need to go to MobDonalds now, master seems to be having trouble,” said Mob as he threw away his meatball platter.

Tome squints in confusion“Wha...alright, well imma head back home. I have to put these meatballs in the fridge for later.” The two say their goodbyes and part ways. Tome seems a little annoyed Mob had to be taken away for work on such short notice.

Mob rushes like Sonic down the street back to where the mountain has erected itself. He sees Reigen at the bottom of the mini mountain with the Burger King on top. Mob greets his master as Reigen fills him in on what happened

After Mob hears the story about the mini mount Burger King, it’s clear that there is only one thing left to do. Mob retrieves the corn costume™ from the dumpster and flies up to the Burger King door with both hands in the air. He slowly opened the door to see the man behind it all. A vocaloid voice can be heard from the shadows, “Haha, I see we have a corn mob on the loose, looks like it's time to double down on the serving.” It was none other than Hatsune Miku holding a whopper, standing while a smug smile.

“Miss Miku, why did you want to destroy the MobDonalds?” asked Mob with his wittle voice.

Miku scoffed, “Noob, can’t you see, MobDonalds’ new promotion only stands in the way of my new promotion with Burger King-sama.” Her face looked very evil with her smile going ear to ear as she took a bite from her whopper.

“Miku, can’t you see, nothing but harm was brought to the people you're trying to sell to. Look at them, down there. They’re screaming for their lives.” Progression toward Mob’s explosion has risen to 69% due to Miku's neglectful actions.

She laughs in vocaloid. “Nothing more than a minor loss to my profit margin, HEHEHE MWAHAHAHAHA”

“No! Don’t you see, they’re more than a profit margin. They’re more than loyal and valued customers, they’re the life and soul of this community. And I’m beginning to think that they don’t need this so called whopper,” progression toward Mob’s explosion had risen to 76%

Miku cracks her knuckles and lets out a high pitched squeal that shatters the windows. “You’re just like one of them, esper or not. Nothing more than a little bug for me to squash.” She throws her whopper at Mob and starts to float and glows purple.

Mob’s corn costume™ got stained from the mess of a burger that was thrown. Progression toward Mob’s explosion grew to 90% as he stared at the pile of tomato, onion, lettuce, and meat. Miku proceeded to laugh at Mob, taunting him further. “Alright, it’s time to end this man’s whole career!!!”

Miku begins to float across the Burger King floor toward Mob as the progression toward his explosion reaches 100%. Mob goes and does the only thing he can think of. He reaches down into his pocket and throws a corn mob at Miku. It knocks her on the forehead, leaving a buttery mark on her head. It starts to sizzle and boil causing Miku to scream in immense pain until she turns into dust and blows away.

Mob floats out of the Burger King as it sinks back into the Earth. He lands near Reigen and Dimple while MobDonalds rises back up and everything goes back to normal. “Woah Mob, that was quick,” Reigen said with a thumbs up

“Yeah, Miku wanted Burger King to rule the world but I had to stop her,” Mob explained while looking intently at his master.

“Well regardless, let's take a break, it’s been a long day” Reigen patted Mob’s little corn head

“Wait a minute, Dimble, when did you get here. Why did you appear so late in this story?” Mob questioned while staring at his floating green friend.

Dimple explained, “Well ya see, the author forgot to write me in earlier because he was too busy thinking of Tome’s feet to include me,” Mob and Reigen just stare at him like he has no idea what he is talking about. “What!? It was his fault not mine.” Dimple crossed his arms in anger.

Mob and Reigen are still confused but just shrug their shoulders and go along with it. “Anyways, let’s go relax at the office, maybe there might be a new job wait.” They all walk off as the credits roll.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to get back to playing animal crossing new horizons on nintendo switch.

#mob psycho fanfic #mob psycho story #reigen arakata #mp100 shitpost #mp100 shigeo #corn mob #mobdonalds #mp100 tome #shitpost #shitpost story #Comedy #adventure #sexy pink ds

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