#there are no shows that emotionally devastate me as much as those two do

[anarchypumpkincowboy]

what if i rewatched black sails AND the magicians to add incredible emotional distress to distract me from the irl emotional and physical stress I’m in

[kanmom51]

Are you sure?! Sapporo - Episode 8

I know.

I know it's been a bit and a half.

I know it's taken me time to come here and talk about the last episode.

I've been digesting, totally in the feels, and trying to recover.

The photobook, JM's little piece of information regarding his whereabouts night before Jeju and the pic. OMG, that JK marked by JM pic. The more you think about it the crazier it gets. That they actually did that and that the photo made it's way into the book (not to mention us knowing that JM has that pic he took of JK on his phone). All quite a distraction from me working through my thoughts about the episode. A welcomed distraction, but a distraction none the less.

This last episode we got of their Sapporo trip was an emotional rollercoaster. Not only for JK and JM. The level of Joy on the one hand. Seeing them so very happy. And them allowing us to see even more of them and their happiness. Like JM said:

Thinking again about what he said here... and then going back to this:

Yeah, I know he was talking about their Sapporo trip, but you know that this isn't the first time we saw JM wanting to claim his territory.

I know I don't have to point out where JM was pointing where he was going to be writing "Jimin", right?

So, this too is something JM does at home? Just a thought, lol.

And then those two just had to kill me. I know they were both pensive and sad it was all coming to an end, but JM crying, that just devastated me (because It's JM, and JM struggles so with showing himself so vulnerable).

So yes, it has taken me a second to get my wits together and come back and talk a bit with you about what we had in Episode 8.

When I finished watching the episode for the first time I couldn't help but think:

It's the end of the world as we know it...

Well, not really, because we knew it pretty well, but for those that didn't (or wouldn't see it, or denied it, or lived in a delusion that it wasn't happening) it sure is changed.

And then we get JM and JK just crushing down all those TKK rickety houses of cards (see what I did there?) with the photobook. Absolutely priceless!!

Are you sure?! Episode 8

Filled with romance and sentiment and so much feels. Couplie feels.

This episode, is the one, out of all those it followed, to cement for us, the spectators (all spectators, not only Jikookers), that these two are... drumroll... a REAL LIFE long term ever so loving couple.

No huge ear sucking, hickey showing or sunscreen claiming moments. And yet, this episode differs so much from the ones that came before because the whole aura of it was so heavy in "if it looks like a duck and quack like a duck then it's a fucking couple you idiots, just open your eyes".

This is JM and JK just being themselves albeit Sapporo Jikook are innately different due to timing and place - Japan and last trip before enlistment made this so much MORE for the two of them, and we most definitley saw just how much so at the end of this episode.

But this is also the editors doing, with the company's ok, of course, allowing us to see so much MORE. I do believe, that just like with the hickey finding it's way into memories 2020, this episode, the editing of it, was a conscious decision of both Jikook and the company. Jikook being themselves and allowing us to see more of it. More of them. I can assure you there is much we did not get to see, just like there was much we did not see from the previous trips and episodes, but we were allowed to see MORE in episode 8.

And again, it's not about seeing sus moments, because we definitely got a few of those in this episode. We had some in previous episodes as well.

It's about the MOOD.

it's about the editing allowing for more private moments (emotionally private, couplie private, not necessarily what people love to see or think would be the most suspicious ones, the more obvious ones with sexual innuendos), moments that I am sure happened in the other two destinations as well but were edited out.

But there were still things we weren't allowed to see.

Like when a crying JM goes to wake up JK in the morning.

Too personal. Too emotional. Too private.

Beyond the MORE, it was just TOO MUCH.

And yet we did get Jikook just being themselves and us getting to see it. Jikook just BEING. And it was beautiful. It was emotional. It was intimate. It was so very special.

We got to see them react to the first episode of the show. And although this most definitely wouldn't be the first time we got to see them sit down and watch and react to BTS content, that was always within the context of BTS content and with the other members. I can think of one time we got to see them watching their own interactions during the Black Swan shoot.

But even that had them sitting apart and the whole group present.

This was intimate. Just the two with only a red pillow between them (which I am 100% they put there to remind themselves of where, when and what they are doing). JK holding on to that pillow, to prevent hands from straying? I guess it kept them at bay... at times...

So yes. We see JK and JM (oh boy JM) definitely in the feels. And the different editing. Allowing us to see and feel their intimacy.

And with all that, the whole intimate aura surrounding that whole episode we got some cute and some more obvious moments (those moments you can point your finger at and say "there you go", unlike a feeling you get from just watching the two BEING).

We got so so much in this episode.

We got their usual playful flirting.

One example of many:

I mean, really???

The facial expression while saying it, and the mostly lack of reaction from JM as well. No flinching, no "you shouldn't say stuff like that", nope... just this:

This, to me, is not stressing about JK saying this to him but more about it being said for us to hear.

And I'm sorry, but whichever way you look at it, this is not the reaction you would get from a bro who was just told by his bro to strip.

We got more flirting in the car, at the convenience store, at the accommodations, in the hot tub as well. I will get to it all, don't worry, lol.

We got the touchy.

We also have the full combo of flirty playful and touchy:

We got JM telling us 3 times he was taking and took a boyfriend pic.

We got them calling each other pet names.

We got JM talking about his butt and JK's familiarity with it...

We got JK showing off his BF privileges.

We got JK trying to uplift JM's mood.

We got JK telling us all these trips with JM have been the best of his life,

and:

We got JK totally lost, gazing all stary eyed at JM.

Fuck, that was so beautiful!!

I want to go back a second to the clip I shared - what the absolute perfect ending to an absolutely wonderful show. And that little surprise at the end.

Even watching it again now I'm balling my eyes out.

JM rubbing his shaved head... I can't...

😭😭

The one thing that gives me strength is knowing that they are there TOGETHER!!!

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

As much as I was not emotionally prepared for the end of episode 10 after the utter hell that was last week irl, I keep thinking about how well they constructed this episode.

I know there's a lot of varying opinions out there, but to me, when it came to the core themes, what happened made so much sense, and was crafted really, really well.

Like I couldn't give less of a shit about the ring and how it works, because it doesn't matter - there's always some bastard with power that he's abusing, and how he got it and who is going to get it from him next is irrelevant to those of us just trying to survive. They already spent plenty of time showing it's all a game, the ball has just changed hands. It very well could be a magic ring - just look at how people in real life worship and obey money, which is a creation of humanity, not an inherent truth. The point isn't for us to understand how the system works overall, but to see the ways that those of us lower down get manipulated into exhaustion and despair and self-punishment. That's what we need to know about the system - how it breaks us down.

What mattered with the episode was the escalation, the throwing of the crabs into the bucket where they start to pull and tear each other - and themselves - apart.

And it started early. It started when Jack & Joke saw Jennie's character being harassed, and did nothing. Because they thought they were ok, in their little couple bubble. But that's the whole point. It's not just about the two of them, it's about all of them, the collective community, and how none of them are safe even when it feels that way. How none of us are safe.

Jack and Joke both did things we didn't want to see them do, but those are the things the system is designed to draw out of them. Just look at those of us in the U.S. right now. We live in a country that was founded as a white supremacist patriarchal institution, and last week it worked exactly as it was designed to.

Yes, the angst in this episode hurt, but it had purpose here. Because this shit is insidious and horrible and devastating, and even our heroes are not immune to it.

But you know who is immune? Who sees what's truly happening? Who understands what needs to happen?

Hoy. Sweet innocent, baby Hoy.

Hoy gets it, and he convinced his cougar girlfriend, and she convinced the people in the temple. Because as horrific and insurmountable as it all feels sometimes, it is possible for holds of power to be broken, for an oppressor to be brought down.

But it has to be collective. It has to be community.

Jack and Joke are suffering because they are not special, they are not perfect. They are us.

But they will get there, because of what they've built in the community up to this point. And the community will come back for them.

[flownwrong]

chaotic ckr c6d squee propaganda (?) post

This, started half a year ago for @ds30below, was initially a general c6d short reviews post but kinda skewed majorly towards CKR's repertoire and wasn't too review-y. So I gave up on making sense and on including the non-CKR works. I don't know who the audience for this is, because I never give basic details for people who don't know about this stuff but say too much for those who do. I giffed what I could and tried to avoid what I know a lot about but haven't actually seen. Here goes.

Frank's Cock (1993)

Not much to say. It's only 8 minutes, it's beautiful and you should see it if you haven't. I won't spoil the subject, but you can likely guess. Watch it, cry a little. Then go watch some more of Mike Hoolboom's stuff, the vimeo link above is from his channel.

Two X-Files episodes (1994 – 1995)

Well, I haven't actually seen X-files since I was about fifteen and watched the like two seasons, and I remember none of it. I rewatched the two early episodes CKR appears in and they were fun. I did not watch the, the movie or whatever where he's doing the evil gay thing. But really, this one is on the list so I can show you this self-indulgent gif of him being Very Long:

Double Happiness (1994)

You shouldn't watch this one for CKR. I mean, you absolutely should see him here, looking like he's barely out of his teens and playing up the insecure act and having devastating chemistry with devastatingly beautiful Sandra Oh, but this is not why it's great. And it's really, really great. It's touching and funny and sincere. If you wanna have some feels about complicated family relationships and identity and growing up (at any point in life), you'll find them here.

Curtis's Charm (1995)

Don't regret watching it, can't recommend. Not gonna lie, I was emotionally affected. But I usually am by things as in-your-face bleak as this. Mostly, it's trying very hard to be smarter than it is, I think.

However: CKR's One Wild Curl is everything to me (see above, on the right. It was, like, actually curly. I was rendered speechless). And like two seconds of Hugh Dillon made me do a double-take, lol. Incredibly weird knowing this was shot like half a year before HCL began shooting. Feels like it must've been a decade earlier.

Hard Core Logo (1996)

I could make three separate posts about this one, so of course I have no idea what to say.

This one, you should watch for CKR, actually, he's something, but so is every single other aspect of this film. I wouldn't change a thing about it. It hits you like a 16 wheeler. Perfectly cast, unimaginably beautiful, hysterical and melancholy and disgusting and compelling.

Related recs:

A wonderfully fun article/retrospective/interview for its 20th anniversary a while back.

You should also absolutely read Hard Core Roadshow if you enjoyed the film. It's a book documenting the whole thing from conception to release. It touched me for its own sake, not just a backstage glance, full of love for the craft and the people and carrying this tangible bittersweetness about the heightened and fleeting nature of this kind of work.

(here, I feel compelled to include a quote from another c6d-related interview on Slings & Arrows, which I read after the book and went like man, it's really a universal experience isn't it.

Coyne: <...> But I also think, and this is my experience, what we were all experiencing, because we were all talking about our lives, our life in the arts �� there’s something very melancholy about doing something you love, because it will never be good enough, it will always break your heart.

McKinney: Or it will be fleeting.

Coyne: It’ll be fleeting. You come together with people you feel passionately connected to and two weeks later they’re tearing down the sets.)

Quotes from the article and the book respectively include:

McDonald: So there was a kind of mutual dependency society with Hugh telling Callum, “Don’t worry, man, I got your back, I’ll tell you how high or low to wear your guitar, I’ll tell you how you should dress, I’ll tell you what you should drink…” and Callum was like, “I’ll tell you what hitting your mark is, I’ll tell you why they pull out fucking tape measures, I’ll tell you why you have to do it again, I’ll tell you about not overlapping dialogue..” and you know they clung to each other, like the other one was gonna fucking save them.

And:

A final gathering at the back of the tour bus with Bruce, Callum, Hugh, Bernie. We listen to the tape of HCL songs, all the way through, one last time. And we belt the words out. Bernie sings loudest, performing for Salerno's camera. Hugh and Callum sit back, looks of sadness. I get the sense that if they could do it, they'd chuck their lives and be Joe Dick and Billy Tallent forever. Callum leans to Bruce and says exactly what everyone else is thinking: "I don't want it to end."

There's much more to both texts than *gestures* the whatever those two had, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

And Xeriscape is the best HCL fic I've read. Granted, I read very few because it's not a source that creates in me a craving for fic. But this one perfectly matches the film's fucked up beauty with its language while also adding a quieter, more fraught layer of humanity that we only get glimpses of in canon and that perfectly fits John. 10/10, would recommend.

Anyway. Watch it. Read it. If you haven't. Otherwise, come scream with meeee! And go reblog my gifs or something. Idk.

Letters From Home (1996)

Mike Hoolboom strikes again, with another short. This goes into the "don't watch it for CKR, watch it because it's great" box. Yes, you will cry.

For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down (1996)

Another bleak one! It sucked to watch, I mean, on purpose. There were a couple of very effective scenes. I really enjoyed the opening. They say the book is decent too, I haven't checked that out.

Actually, let's just switch back from coherent thought to undignified staring at his mouth with this one. What the fuck is that cigarette thing. I couldn't help myself.

Last Night (1998)

These gifs are not representative of the whole movie. There is more happening than CKR kissing or hugging people. He's also doing more than just kissing and hugging. It's all very... impressive.

Guess who's also here again? Sandra Oh! And say hi to Don McKellar, who is an absolute champion for writing/directing/starring. You'll be seeing more of him.

Another one for the "watch it for its own sake" box. Seriously, that late 90s indie stuff is banger after banger. It's so beautiful! Look at those colours! Look at those shots! It's very uneasy and charming and melanchioly and itself in the best way.

Twitch City (1998 – 2000)

Don McKellar is back to murder you with discomfort! Bruce McDonald lends a hand. Molly Parker is also here. And Daniel McIvor, who'd go on to direct, for example, Wilby Wonderful. It's a party. If you watched some stuff from above (or below) on this list, most faces and names will be familiar to you, tbh (another Hugh Dillon double-take happens).

If you liked Spaced, you'll love this. You might also love it because it commits to its weirdness with an admirable resolve and is genuinely hilarious. (Honestly, CKR's outfits alone warrant a watch.) The idiosyncrasy is definitely Don McKellar's doing 200%. It couldn't be more different from Last Night, but if you've seen one, you'll recognise the other.

Battlestar Galactica (2003 – 2009)

I don't think a person should be allowed to look this pretty in the sweaty-and-dying makeup in that light (this sentence probably looks very weird to those not under the CKR magic spell).

I don't know what to say about BSG because I really, really enjoyed early it initially, but by the middle of S2 it got... well, whatever that was. If you know you know, if you don't, still give it a go. You might get invested enough to suffer through it all, as I have been, slowly.

The unfortunate thing is that CKR got to be there mostly in the "what the fuck" years and not the "wow that's so cool" years. That, as you might be aware, is a pattern with him. But! When he was here, he was so genuinely, wonderfully creepy not in the typecast-baddy way, but in this slow, half-absent way, which really worked. You can also see him tortured a little, as a treat!! <3

Also, a wild John Pyper-Ferguson appears! If you're looking at him thinking you know him from somewhere but not immediately remembering, you'll figure it out, I believe in you. I was very happy to see him.

Wilby Wonderful (2004)

Another win for the put CKR in more good shit team!!! Guess who's here again? Sandra Oh! Also, Paul Gross. Don't watch it for him either though haha.

Another one for whoever wants to look at pushing against the weight of others' (or your own) expectations and growing into who you are or reconsidering who you are or finding meaningful connections with others even when you're kind of a mess and they are too.

Not nearly the first time CKR's gotten to play a queer character, but man, this one really is the heart of the in-universe community, and, through that, of the film. A rare chance to see him so far out of the prickly persona! He's just so solid and calm and there for others in this one and, and soft, ough. It's awesome.

By the way, if any of you have the commentary track or know someone who has, please drop me a line here or on discord (emotionalrisotto), I really wanna hear that.

Supernatural (2005)

I love Supernatural a lot. It was a formative experiences (albeit a very late one) and I owe a lot of my favourite stuff about fandom-ing to the buddies I met through it. I can't believe I'm telling you this (because who hasn't seen it, not because I'm reccing it), but you should really try it if you haven't. It's pretty rad.

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw that episode (the second ever one!), though. I simply cannot fathom what @nigeltde-fic felt when she first saw it. I think I personally got very lucky she didn't combust on the spot. It would've been unfortunate.

On a sillier note, CKR's character has weird tension with both Sam and Dean in this episode, which is par for the course. I personally think they should've... no, I shan't say it. You can probably imagine.

Californication (2008 – 2013)

I haven't actually seen it, lol (and I suspect I won't enjoy it, but I'm very curious and also CKR looks really really good).

The real reason for this one on the list is to share a fic rec. Really, it's a due South F/K fic featuring Lew Ashby. It's ridiculously hot and very satisfying in its romantic resolution, too (but then, I'm kind of big on selfcest. And consensual voyeurism. And pretend relationships when done like this. And sublimated yearning. Erm.)

Shattered (2010 – 2011)

I wish this never happened. I badly, badly wish this never happened. I can't turn back time, but I can warn those luckier than me: do not go there. Yes, even for this dude. You'll sleep better not knowing just what it is he was the EP on. And the only important part — the mascara — can be seen above (yes, the show does look that bad, it's not just the gifs).

Just kidding — I watched it, didn't I? You'll have fun hating it! Just prepare for industrial grade cringe, lower your expectations (No, lower. No, still lower than that. And just a bit more.) and you'll have a great time!

Star trek: Discovery (2024)

Or, as I call it, Star Trek: The Mediocre Show. Discovery S5 was... what it was, but it was a wonderful viewing experience — mostly thanks to the gang (@kittkatk and @feroxargentea especially!)

What a joy it is, to follow a show week by week, yelling and laughing and discussing the whole time. And giffing, too. I was very happy to contribute to the Disco fandom from my own little obsessive corner, and I was glad to see people adoring Rayner, haha.

He's a pretty neat character — very much a stereotype, yes, but with CKR's usual twist of odd vulnerability and weirdness. Also, I loved the ears. I miss the ears. The ears were great.

I even wrote a fic! Although it's not within my usual range to write for canons and universes I don't know well — and back then, I'd only seen S5 of Disco. It was a lot of suffering, and a lot of fun.

Closing thoughts

I'd really love the dude to get a better agent. And possibly better taste, but I realise that's a tougher ask. Seriously, it's been too long since he was in something majorly cool. I'm grateful to him, at least, for not making terrible music on the side. And I still have a lot of his back catalogue to get through, some of it even good, so there will be more insanity. Until then!

[love-anddeepression]

O my gosh do you think you can do a Miguel x teen reader. Where the reader has been in a depressed mood lately and no one can figure out what's wrong till they reveal that their headphones broke on their last mission and it was the last thing their remaining family member gave to them before they died and they blaime themselves for not being more careful with them.

Headphones-Miguel O’Hara x teen!reader.

As someone who’s emotionally attached to her heradpjones yes I can and will write this. Thank you all so much for the love and support from my last post! I’ll be taking a short break after this and I hope you all like it! Please comment and reblog if you do :D love you<3333

Warnings: Implied Hobie brown x reader; mostly fluff dw, crying.

ART BY THE AMAZING @thattripleabattery

“Is it just me, or is something off about her?” Miles nods towards you who is sitting all alone away from and sipping juice desolately as they all listen to Miguel’s newest monthly goal meeting.

“Something looks off about her, like something’s missing.” Gwen narrows her eyes at your figure.

You just keep nodding at intervals and try to pay attention but all you can think about are the headphones your brother had given you.

You considered them an extension of you, going so far as to even sometimes wear them during light missions while you waited for the threat to show up.

Your last mission had been gruelling, so bad to the point that both Jess and your dad had suggested you take a break from fighting to recuperate.

You were so devastated on the inside, all you did was just nod.

You knew that Miguel knew you were off. It was obvious that you joked less and acted tired. Not to mention the little amount of sleep you got.

It was stupid really, all this drama over a pair of headphones. Yet, they were the last connection you had to your brothers and it felt like you had truly lost your family when they broke into two.

Your mind was literally empty as you nodded at whatever Miguel was saying. You just dipped your juice and kept zoning in and out. It felt wrong that they weren’t there around your neck where they usually were.

Miguel started to notice your constant fidgeting and the way your hands kept rubbing your neck. He had also noticed your dull nature and the way your sweet smile stopped making its way onto your face.

Even to his lamest dad jokes, you’d respond with a huff and small twist of your lips.

As he wrapped up the plan, his eyes flit to yours and he saw you still nodding, your eyes glassy.

He takes a deep breath, “Dismissed, all of you leave. Now.”

The shuffle of chairs fills the room as everyone files out one by one.

He says your name, “Stay back.” And turns around to look at the hologram.

Miles and Gwen look at each other and then at you, who breathes in and nods without a word.

Once everyone has left, he turns back around to find you looking at him with your hands behind your back.

“What happened?” He asks and you sign.

“Nothing.”

“It’s rude to lie.”

“Manners maketh man and all that jazz.” You reply with a roll of your eyes.

“Seriously.” He raises his eyebrow and his hand rests on your shoulder, “You okay?”

“Yeah, god I’m fine! I was just an irresponsible shit and I broke my headphones.”

His eyebrows furrow, “The ones your brother gave you?”

You clench your jaw and nod, eyes smarting as you struggle not to cry at the thought.

He shrugs, “They’re just headphones, kid. You can always get another.”

You just scoffed, “Yeah, I know.”

“I mean, you get it right?”he tips his down to make a point.

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” You smile wryly and turn away so that he can miss the tear forming in your eye, “Cool, I’ll uh catch you later boss man.”

He stares after your retreating figure with remorse, did he say something wrong?

“You dumb idiot.” Lyla pops up.

“What?” He snarls, whirling to look at her.

“She was really attached to those headphones, Miguel.”

“She can always get new ones, Lyla. I’m getting them for her anyway.”

“Miguel it’s as if her brother died all over again.” Lyla replies firmly, “She’s hurting, ans you made her feel worse.”

Miguel hangs his head, “Shit.”

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but after years of shutting himself out, he didn’t understand people’s feelings like he used to, and he wanted with every fibre of his being to cheer you up, and he managed to screw it up.

“You need to go apologise and fix this.” Lyla points towards the doorway.

——————-

“It’s okay. Let it all out.” Hobie’s soothing voice is calming as his hand travels up and down your back to soothe you.

You breathe deeply before letting out another broken sob that only makes you more embarrassed, and in front of Hobie of all people. The guy just oozed absolute “don’t care” energy while still simultaneously being one of the most caring people you’d ever met.

Your apologies are hushed and he takes your face between his hands and wipes your tears from your cheeks, “You look pretty even when you cry.”

You roll your eyes, “Shut up.”

You hug him again, “Thank you.”

“I know what it’s like to lose something like that, and I’m sorry. But I know you will get over it and I salute you for being so brave.” He winks, “I’ve gotta run, catch you later.”

He quickly kisses your forehead and dashes off, leaving you stunned. After a few moments, a smile makes its way onto your puffy face.

“I’m going to kill that kid.” Miguel seethes as he watches from the camera.

———-

You were exhausted after a long day of training and you couldn’t wait to just go and fall asleep in your quarters.

The door swung open easily and your eyes flitted to the shabbily wrapped present on your bed. The bed that was unmade in the morning but was miraculously made and cleaned now.

Your eyes narrow as you tear away the wrapping to find a near identical pair of headphones to the ones that broke and your eyes widen in shock as you hold them up in front of you.

There’s a post-it stuck to the wrapping paper and you read the note that is unmistakably written by Miguel. You can recognise his chicken scratch handwriting.

“Im sorry for hurting your feelings this morning. And I hope this makes up for it. Don’t blame yourself, it was an accident and accidents happen. Im proud that you learnt your mistake and that you act so wise for your age, despite the fact that you decide to go to a weird British punk spider for advice, I am still proud of you. No es tu culpa, none of this is your fault.

Love,

Dad.”

—————-

“She seems to be in a much better mood today.” Gwen nudges Miles.

“She’s smiling and trying to get him to laugh.” Miles grins at your antics.

“Wait her headphones! They were missing, they’re back around her neck, that’s probably why she was in a shitty mood!” Pavitr reasons as Gwen nods in agreement.

“Are the three of you paying attention?” Miguel looks pointedly at the three kids and his glare then falls in Hobie who is seated next to you.

“Everyone dismissed!”

As everyone files out he says yet again, “Hobart, stay back.”

[queenofmalkier]

Moiraine being 70 vs 40

(Alright this one took me a minute because corralling my thoughts is a challenge in the best of times.)

To begin with I will admit... I am one of the people who was indifferent towards the age change in the beginning. They're Aes Sedai, they live nice, long lives, and I wasn't like, emotionally attached to a younger, canon-aged Moiraine. It does make her early years more poignant, but I'll touch on that later.

Primed for older Moiraine, the show started and after two seasons I can safely say I am so gung-ho for 70 year old Moiraine I might actually be feral.

Here's why I, personally, think it was an excellent choice: Rosamund Pike is 44 as of writing this, so she visibly fits into the book age. As an audience nobody is really questioning her age - a few show-onlys I watched season 1 with actually remarked on how refreshing it was to see an older female character allowed to just exist and be part of the narrative without trying to sex up and/or grandma-ize the role.

Little Did They Know.

So you've got an audience that's mostly accepting of this character being in her 40s, and then you hit them with "Oh she's 70 and lets explore just how horrific that fact actually is together, it'll be fun!"

It was not fun, it was gutting.

One of my main critiques of the book has always been how we have these long-lived women, powerful women... but we never really take much of a look at the reality of that concept. Nor are we given POV characters who are really old enough to remark on it. Pevara at least thinks about her family, but Cadsuane doesn't give two figs about hers.

And here's the thing... they're Aes Sedai, but they're still human. What happens to them as they get older, but the people who fill their life are the ones aging? How does it feel to watch a mother, a sister, a child, friends, acquaintances, EVERYONE succumb to time in a way you won't for a very long time after?

That has to be impactful and I wanted to see those stories - and the show delivered. Seeing Moiraine with Anvaere? Chilling, horrifying, heartbreaking. Liandrin and her boy? A kick in the teeth. Even Alanna with her family, knowing very well she's probably the oldest one sitting at that table.

The point is, being an Aes Sedai means being powerful and respected, but it also means living through a very specific kind of suffering and trauma. They're basically vampires in terms of lifespan and we should see how that shapes them.

In regards to Moiraine being older and therefore not basically a child during the foretelling, it does change that particular hit... but by no means did the show let the viewers not understand how that moment altered Moiraine's life forever.

Instead of her being sort of an unformed girl hardened and honed by a lifetime of searching for Rand, one who never got much chance to be anything else, we get a woman who was already beginning to build her life, who had achieved the shawl, found love, and was exactly where she wanted to be.

And then all of that is taken from her.

It's devastating to watch the double-barreled whammy of Siuan and Moiraine giggling about being fishwives and walking into what was in many ways their deaths. Because the Moiraine and Siuan they were before walking into that room were gone forever. They would never be able to go back to the women they were before. They never even had a chance to mourn that loss. Moiraine went hunting and Siuan set her sights on the Amyrlin Seat.

I do understand for a lot of people her age is a sticking point, and that is completely fair and valid! It's a change that I fully agree did not need to be made... but by making that change we're given such a stark insight into the lives of older Aes Sedai who are just beginning to experience what it means to outlive everyone they know, watching one by one as cherished friends and family members pass on.

Soon all they have left are the children and grandchildren of those people, fractured mirrors that are just enough of a hint at the original that it must be painful to know them - which explains even further why so many Aes Sedai cut off contact entirely with their families. It's too painful to keep them in their lives.

[queenpinesofdomino]

You know why the conversation between Sally and Poseidon is so good and has us losing our shit?

Because of ✨context✨.

I feel like these days the majority of the scenarios don't show you the way the character feel but just the way that they act. Which sometimes those two things are different. Do you know where was the last time that a show showed us well written context behind actions and words? In that kiss scene in Good Omens.

The conversation between Sally and Poseidon is so amazing because it appears that it's just two parents talking about the future of their child, which it is, but it also turns into a conversation between a couple who still loves one another but for reasons can't be together.

Let me show you how I analysed this moment.

So here Poseidon is stating a fact. That Sally doesn't want to sent Percy away and she's responding truthfully that she doesn't. The context behind her multiple no's is :

No Im not ready to separate from him yet

No I don't like the idea of him being away from me

No I can't lose him yet because i feel it'll be like losing you again.

And now you'll say "where do you get the last one from pines?

From here.

"Tell me why" I believe has a double meaning as a sentence.

1 tell me why you can't lose him yet and get it out of your system

and

2 tell me you still love me and miss me

The way he said it with much longing and so strained, in my opinion, that I feel the context behind it is:

"Tell me why you can't lose him. Tell me that you see me in our son. Tell me you miss me because I can't tell you how I feel."

Thats why Sally says "you don't wanna hear why" and if you watch carefully youll see them chuckling a little.

She says "you don't wanna here because if I tell you we both know you'll drop everything and come to me and that can't happen."

I don't have the full subtitle here but Poseidon says

"but you have no one to say it to, and maybe that's the most unfair part of it"

Meaning you don't have any one else who understands what's like to raise a demigod and also you don't have any one else to lean on, to listen and comfort you when things get rough. And that's unfair because I want to be here for you.

And then he says the line that's literally my new roman empire

"YOU SAY IT AND I WILL LISTEN"

(screaming in a pillow)

Context "I will drop everything and come to you if you tell me to. You call me and I'll be here in seconds just like I did now"

I can't this is killing me..

Then we have Sally turning the subject again on Percy with the "I want him to know who he is, before your family tells him who they want him to be" only to counter it with

"he is better than that" and context wise I'm sure she says "you are also better than that. Than them."

I think that, because the camera points at Poseidon at than moment and the when Sally says " he has better things in him than that" she takes a little credit for her contribution into who Percy is, which honestly fuck yeah girly you deserve all the credit, and that's when the camera points at her.

Then Poseidon starts explaining her how the situation is going to be and how it'll be for both her and Percy and he finishes with this

Which also has me screaming and crying on the floor because so far is the closed he's got to look at her. So far he looks down or up front.

And he's so poud of her and I'm... I can't.... He loves her so much......

And because it's obviously a very sensitive sudject emotionally for Sally who's trying to move on or to focus on her child she changes the subject (kinda) again by asking Poseidon

And here we start seeing context purely for Poseidon

I can't post more pictures, but he turns and side looks at Percy and you can seeee that he's considering it very much. He almost says yes. It's so tempting and devastating for him. Only for Zeus to throw that thunder. At first i thought it was Poseidons thunder (as stormbringer) to represent his inner conflict but while I was waiting for it to be heard I noticed that it took to long and that his face didnt show resignation until after it struck. So I strongly believe that, that was Zeus warning him about interving.

And thus we reach the ending monologue where Poseidon states that when Percy is ready, as his mother sees fit he will be at his sons side supporting him as he very much wants.

I swear the context here is so good I'm gonna be thinking about it for days.

Now I'm gonna cry watching Sally/Poseidon edits on the clock up because I physically can't :')

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode five thoughts

HELLO???? girl where do i even start. i May have to get some thoughts out of the way so i can properly talk about this shit what the fuck. my thoughts are goddamn incoherent 😭

OKAY start of the episode. i actually really appreciate crystal and charles having a frank conversation about like. hey kissing was nice but we both have a lot of shit going on and we're neither in a place to be in a relationship rn so let's just be friends. and it's not framed as a bad decision or for drama or anything, it's the reasonable and emotionally mature choice to make and i love that so much!!

oh my god the lesbianism.... noble was not lying there was in fact lesbians!! bro i was so excited 😭 jenny and the librarian were genuinely so cute, like when they were bonding over true crime. and when they kissed i kid you not i put my fists in the air like a highschool dad watching sports i was thrilled!!! but no the librarian had to turn murderous when jenny was uncomfortable with being stalked.... devastating 😔

i will say tho they really made me watch the aro nightmare play out. someone is interested in you, gets mad when you don't return their feelings in the way they want you to, and then tries to kill you. deeply uncomfortable, but i'm happy to know jenny canonically likes women and, if she ever feels like giving romance another chance, i hope she meets someone nice and average who doesn't stalk her. best of luck queen im rooting for you whatever you decide you want

okay the case was really interesting, i like a good bit of whodunnit. it's also a fun change from the usual, where the case they're solving is unrelated to finding a killer. very fun! i like both formats, and it's fun to switch things up once in a while

i didn't expect the killer to be so sympathetic, but by the end i was really rooting for her to go unpunished. makes sense that she turned herself in since it really was an accident, but ah well whatever she chooses to best help her move on with her life!

i'm glad those two assholes went to hell at the end tho, even if it does have some fascinating implications. like, are we talking christian hell? if so, what kind? classical, or more dante's inferno with the different levels and so on? is 'hell' just a term for an afterlife of punishment for crimes committed in life? how does all that work with demons being a thing? and why does edwin go to hell for being ritually sacrificed? they said it was a mix-up, but what kind of technicality or misfiled paperwork does that? give me the afterlife lore i need to know more!!!!

i feel like i haven't talked about crystal's demon ex in a bit so let's cover that. god i really was right in my first read of him, he really is doing all this because he's desperate to stay relevant in her life. it's honestly pathetic and idk what else there is to say about that. like it sucks that such a pathetic asshole has just enough power to keep hurting crystal, and i look forward to his comeuppance whenever it should appear

ALRIGHT OTHER THOUGHTS OUT OF THE WAY. ohhh my god so much in a few short scenes. MONTY KISSED EDWIN AND CONFESSED TO HIM?? oh my god i can't believe we got that in a netflix show no wonder it got canceled. AND THEN EDWIN REJECTS HIM?? this is so crazy im Thriving holy shit

okay i have something to say. so edwin says he isn't talking about monty but doesn't say who he's talking about, but i think he was talking about charles! like yeah it cuts to the cats and the episode ends, and that Could be implying he's talking about the cat king, but if i'm right it's just meant to indicate they were eavesdropping at that specific moment

okay let me explain my theory. there's the stuff i talked about in the past posts, about the scene where the cat king took charles' form (and i didn't mention it but. the bit in the same episode where edwin is just staring at charles' face distracted while charles talks? hello??) but what really cemented it for me was the hug this episode. in possibly the sweetest scene yet, edwin reassures charles that he is a good person, and charles hugs him. and just the look on edwin's face... the way he stands there almost stunned before carefully hugging back... the way after charles lets go and they start to leave edwin stands there a moment longer, with a hand pressed to his heart.... like i could be wrong but. i am seeing signs!!

and i think it's So interesting because charles has some kind of crush on crystal, even though they've agreed not to pursue anything there that doesn't mean the attraction is gone yknow? so im Really interested to see what's going to happen and where this is going

godd that whole scene was phenomenal. charles being afraid of being a bad person, like the jocks and like his father... yeah girl i've been there. it fucking sucks! and im so glad he had edwin there with him, who cares about his friend and knows him well enough to know how to comfort him. idk the whole thing was so good, i nearly cried when they hugged :')

very good episode! i've eaten dinner now so i'm ready to move on to the next episode, and i'm Very excited to see what's going to happen!!

[stars-n-spice]

So, this is it, huh?

I figured the least I could do was write something down before shit goes down because I know after tomorrow I don't think I'll be emotionally available to do or say much about the show and what it and the fanbase means to me.

The last few days, my mind has been a whirlwind of emotions and I don't think I've ever really suspended my disbelief since it was announced that this would be the last season.

I felt like Po honestly, in Kung Fu Panda 2, when he's like "But I just got Kung Fu!" when they're talking about Lord Shen making that weapon that straight-up kills people who practice Kung Fu (I'm going somewhere with this just bear with me-) because I'm fairly new to the animated shows of Star Wars fandom and didn't start hyperfixating on Bad Batch until midway through Season 2 while those episodes were still releasing.

So when they announced that the 3rd season was the final season I was devastated. "What do you mean no more Bad Batch? I just got Bad Batch!" - I didn't want to believe it.

But here we are. Final season. Final episode.

I can't describe how the obsession started. It just did.

When the first season was coming out, I was still on Season 6 of TCW, so I got into it a little late. Then when it was over I immediately jumped into watching Rebels and became utterly obsessed with that show while Bad Batch just stayed, "Oh, neat show I watched."

Then the second season came out. I don't know how or when or why but suddenly something just went off in my brain and I became obsessed. I became attached. I fell in love with Wrecker in a way that I've never once felt or experienced towards any other fictional character, or person for that matter. I grew to understand Crosshair on a deeper level that made my heart ache for him and made me reflect on my own past and choices. Echo became a comfort character and an anchor in my life in where he's the first thing I think of when I'm down to put myself in a better mood. Suddenly I was ready to give Omega the universe and everything good in it. Tech became a lifelife (ironically) a hope that despite how I am and who I am, I'm capable of loving and being loved. And recently I've become so incredibly attached to Hunter because as the oldest child of five as well, I know that crushing weight of responsibility. Of failing your siblings. Of trying to be better.

This squad. This family. Cheesy as it is, I can't describe what they mean to me but Force, I'll try.

Recently I've been wondering why I'm so attached to this show and these characters. Jokingly, part of it is yes, the Bad Batch are lovely to look at and that does play a role in why I enjoy watching the show so much, but that's not completely it.

I think I speak for a lot of us fans when I say that I didn't fit in as a kid. I still don't even as an 'adult.' Look, I'm a biracial guy from two VERY different cultures that don't feel like home to me. On top of that, half of the time I don't know how to identify myself in gender and sexuality because I don't feel either most of the time. I'm introverted. I have anxiety. I probably have autism. I'm a burnt-out former gifted kid. I quite simply don't fit in.

"No, I'll stay. You guys don't fit in here either."

That? Yeah.

This show is for all those kids. Everyone who never fit in. Everyone who was told they were strange or weird, for the kids who ate glue in the back of the classroom, who were told they were too loud, who were put down because they didn't express emotion a certain way, for the kids who sat alone at lunch, who got left behind in their friend groups, for the kids who felt like they had no one so turned to harmful things, for the kids who were told they were special only to be discarded later in life, for the kids who don't know their place, don't know where they fit in and if they even do or ever will.

It's a show that tells those kids you're more than that. You're worth it. You're worth loving. You're worth protecting. You're worth the second chance. You're worth being loyal to. You're worth teaching. You're worth forgiving. You're worth it. You're worth it. You're worth it.

In the end there's hope for us. There's hope for all of us. And I think that's why I cling to tightly to this show. Why it means so much to me. Why I so desperately need these characters to make it out alive.

It's what Star Wars was from the start. About hope. About family. About loving and being loved and learning to love despite your circumstances. It's a show that took a bunch of neurodivergent absolute daddies and packed in so much angst but also feel-good moments with stunning animation, beautiful, moving music, and phenomenal voice acting. It's a show I can't help but love and love immensely because it feels like it was written for me.

For that kid who spent their recesses with their nose buried in an animal encyclopedia or talking to imaginary characters from their favorite books. For that kid who always felt so utterly useless and hopeless whenever they got less than an A- for a grade because they were supposed to be the gifted one. For the kid who struggled so much to be the older sibling they never asked to be. For the kid who just wants to find someone, anyone, who will love them as they are and fight for them. For the kid who valued loyalty above all else, always has, always will, and never gets it in return. For the kid who never fit in.

And well, whatever happens in the finale, I'm so grateful, so blessed, and so honored to have been a part of this journey with all of you.

[add-v-bae]

Hi. I'm sure that nobody expected me to come back, and I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to. I'm just so disgusted with recent events that I want to post my thoughts in a location where anybody will understand what I'm talking about, as nobody in my day to day life even really tolerates kpop

As everybody knows, a lot has happened recently. And yeah, I've got a lot of emotions. I'm devastated to find out how much of a disgusting human Taeil is, and just in general, the wave of disgusting misogyny that's been going on in South Korea is absolutely horrifying.

However, I'm here to talk about my disgust in the state of kpop fans and the abysmal behavior some show. Mind you, i know very well that its very much not everyone. I've spent enough time in the community to know that there are plenty of people who are capable of being normal about their relationship with the idols, even while being a stan who cares about nothing but them. I have a history of parasocial relationships and I firmly believe that you can absolutely obsess over celebrities without being a psychopath. That being said, it's also a very fine line and I've seen some absolutely disgusting shit here.

None of these men belong to you. None of these men owe you a fucking thing. They are there to make you music, give you dances that you can enjoy, and serve you looks, depending on your style per era. They don't owe you abstinence and this is frankly something I've hated even while I was frequenting this site. I know full well that i personally have gotten a little too deep into shipping and crushing on idols. Do you know what happened during the two time an idol that i obsessed over/shipped with people referred to being in a relationship while being an idol? I felt a pang of disappointment and then I decided that as long as they're happy, I'm happy. Do you know what happened to them? One of them could only talk about it after leaving the industry, and the other lost their contract at their company. There's absolutely zero reason why an idol can't live their life alongside being an idol. They're not dolls, they're human beings with human lives.

Now, I left the community years ago. I still listen to the songs I used to listen to, but that's about the extent of where my kpop Fandom journey is anymore. I've also technically started rewriting some of the story ideas I had while excluding the kpop aspects, but that's an entirely different thing.

However, I do still like the occasional kpop post on Twitter, and today, my page was full of learning of a man named Seunghan from a band Riize. I've never heard of him, nor have I heard of this band prior to this controversy. However, the shit that's going on with this is unreal. You're telling me that this 21 year old got bullied into going on hiatus because he smoked a cigarette and dated someone? And then as soon as he came back, people sent funeral wreaths to SM over it? That's abhorrent. The girlfriend thing I've already touched on, he doesn't owe you anything, let alone abstinence from a time before he was famous. The cigarette, sure that's not good. Death threats are so much worse?? Most people have done something bad at some point in their life that doesn't at all reflect who they are now, and frankly, even if he still smokes, what the fuck are you helping with this behavior? Show concern, don't act like he's your fucking doll who's not acting how you want.

I'll be honest, I don't think the people that have or currently follow me are the kinds of people to do this thing. However, if somehow one of the people who engaged in this see this (especially those girls dancing in front of the wreaths uggggh), in complete, 100% seriousness, get some fucking help. You're entering into a parasocial state that is far beyond the acceptable state and has passed into psychotic behavior, and you need to find how to work that out because you've already emotionally hurt people and you're well on your way to physically hurting people, if you haven't already.

And if you haven't been one of the people who have been doing this but you don't see a problem with it, you get some help too. You might feel that you're not doing anything to anybody but as far as I'm concerned, you're just as part of the fucking problem. You might not have engaged in this action, but you very well could to other idols in the future, or God forbid people in your life. This kind of obsession can very easily translate over to behaviors and entitlement to partners, friends, family, none of which are people you're entitled to either. I couldn't fathom looking at this and feeling like this is at all okay.

I can't say if I'm gonna uninstall Tumblr and go back to staying my nose out of things or if I'm going to pop in once and a while as a casual, especially since I'm sure my page has been dead long enough that nobody cares if I come back but I got so heated over this that I needed to put all my thoughts out there, even if nobody sees it

[bonnefeta]

I recently saw a tiktok talking about which of the Fallout protagonists people most prefer, in light of the fact the Fallout show is coming out soon ish.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the most popular answer was the courier, which makes sense because New Vegas is a masterpiece, but also a lot of people talked about liking their backstory being less scripted.

Like compared to the lone wanderer or the sole survivor there isn’t like a cut scened backstory about your family or anything, the courier just pops up with a blank slate you can imagine however you want.

I totally get that, don’t get me wrong I love New Vegas, but having thought about it I do find the journey of the sole survivor and the lone wanderer effected me a lot more.

Especially the lone wanderer who I reckon is probably my favourite.

The characters I remember from New Vegas often have very little to do with my character. Like I remember the NPCs I met but the courier is basically just my eyes and ears, a much more blank slate.

With Fallout 3 I remember feeling gut punched by a lot of those moments, leaving the vault for the first time, finding your father and then loosing him, they really hit emotionally because I’m invested in the story of my player character.

But the main one I want to focus on is one of the moments I’ve found most impactful across all the games I’ve played,

Leaving the vault for the 2nd time.

Now not everyone might have done this quest, I’m pretty sure I missed it on my first playthrough, but if you haven’t ever done it you absolutely need too.

After your father dies if you return to Megaton you can pick up a distress frequency from the Vault where you hear Amata (your old bff and one of my favourite minor characters) asking for your help specifically. Something has gone wrong back home and you need to came back to fix it.

So you toddle off back home, and either help (or hinder) the vault get through a mini civil war. For the purposes of this post we’ll go with help.

So you save the vault, Amata is now in charge and everyone is safe and sound again, thanks to you. You’ve managed to save your home.

But you can’t stay.

Amata breaks the news to you that even after everything you’ve done there’s too much bad blood for you to stay. People blame you for the chaos, the change it’s brought. Amata can lead them into a better future but you can’t be at her side while it happens.

So you leave.

You walk out the vault door again, and as it closes behind you and you head back out into the wasteland you’re alone again.

The first time I played it (and honestly every time since) I was hit with such a strange grief. Like a hollow sad feeling I wasn’t expecting. Loosing your father is sad but this felt more impactful to me for some reason.

Maybe it’s the one-two punch of it, like lose your father and lose your home. But I for me it’s always reminds of the quote “you can never go home again” by Thomas Wolfe.

I don’t know exactly why this concept has always stuck with me, like it’s just stuck in my brain and it never really leaves. Maybe it’s from moving inter-state when I was a kid, and a few times since. But that idea of wishing to go back to a place where things were better, where you were happier, only to go there and realise it’s not how you remembered, and that you don’t belong any more, I guess it hits home.

You’ve been cast out into the wasteland, gone from your relatively comfortable and happy home into a world of violence and chaos and horror, only to lose your father. You fail, your defeated by the enclave, you’re starting again after a devastating setback, and when you’re at your lowest you get just a crumb of hope.

You get to go home, back to that place, but it’s not the same. Even when you ‘fix it’, you end the violence, there’s still no place for you there.

You just don’t fit any more.

And so you leave, you’re alone again. There’s no going back to when things were better, and the road ahead is more than hard, it’s probably impossible and even if you do succeed life will still probably never be easy.

But the vault door is sealed behind you, there’s no where to go but forward.

I know this is reading so deeply into a very minor side quest from a game from 15 years ago, but I honestly think it’s some of Bethesda’s best storytelling and kind of criminally overlooked in all the new Fallout talk.

[ladysomething]

You said you wanted to hear everyone's reactions to Chapter 17, so here I am, and wow. . . I can't say I'm surprised with where they've ended up? Especially with your warnings of rock bottom incoming, but man if I'm not still devastated for both of them.

People have been wanting more honesty from Max, but I feel like this chapter just proved exactly why he's been so unwilling to come clean to Charles. Yes, the confession was certainly too little too late, but Charles saw him unraveling and went for the throat anyway, throwing all of Max's feelings and insecurities back in his face— which I think he would have done in some way even if Max had been honest earlier because there was no way he'd just believe him. There really hasn't been an ounce of trust between these two since the beginning and it SHOWS 🥲

I feel like there can be so much virtue signaling in media these days and it can water down some narratives because it's easier to have it all be black and white and pick one character to be "good" and assign another as "bad", but you've managed to create two complex and, ultimately, flawed characters who are both of these things and so much more, and each completely sympathetic in their own right. Like even when it hasn't been "right", I still completely understand what lead them to make those choices.

I know we still have some time in the trenches ahead of us, but I am very much looking forward to seeing these idiots both realize how much they've wronged each other so they can start building something real! 👏🏼

ps Max saying "You lied to me, it's not nice is it?" should not have been as hot as it was. . . like I could SEE the angry, cocky head tilt 🤭

pps the whole scene with all the alphas smelling his heat was so tense, and then Max mentioning that he heard what the others wanted to do to him— Charles just really had no idea what horrors Max's crazy rules have been shielding him from 😭

LAST PART, I SWEAR! I'm still not exactly sure what I think happened with Kelly, but it was obviously something that was devastating to Max and given how emotionally stunted he is and how little genuine care Charles has shown toward him, I don't blame him for not opening up about that yet. He probably just didn't want to make himself vulnerable, but he clearly didn't realize how terrible Charles assumed him to be 🥲🙃

honestly ... If Max had sat down with Charles at the beginning, Charles wouldn't have had anything to throw back in his face, but he certainly would never have believed him. I doubt it would have changed Charles' actions at all, really. After all, there's a reason Max said:

Christian sighs, then puts his hand on Max’s shoulder and squeezes. “I know you think that doing all this is better than being honest,” he says. “But is it really what’s best for Charles?” 

Max shakes Christian’s hand off his shoulder, standing up and pulling away from him. 

“You don’t know Charles like I do,” he snaps, arm crossing tightly over his chest. “Trust me, he’ll think that the truth is worse than this.” 

and thank you for the note about the characters. they are both incredibly complex, right and wrong in their own ways, good and bad in their own ways. they are products of their respective environments and desires, and personally exploring their morality is one of my favourite parts of this fic.

Max leaning against the car ..... tight white shirt ... sunglasses on .... getting the upper hand over Charles ................ if so toxic, why so hot??

[hopeymchope]

"Rascal Does Not Dream" Double Feature review-ish thoughts

I attended the North American "Rascal Does Not Dream" double feature (subtitled edition) yesterday on March 24th. This was one of those Fathom Event things, and it served as the official North American premiere for both Rascal Does Not Dream of a Sister Venturing Out and Rascal Does Not Dream of a Knapsack Kid. At 73 minutes apiece, they're pretty damn short for movies... but I've seen even shorter in the anime world, weirdly enough. These would be the second and third movies after the "Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai" 12-episode series and its first movie sequel, 2019's Rascal Does Not Dream of a Dreaming Girl.

If you're completely unaware of this series, I implore you to ignore its admittedly awful titling convention. This is all based on a set of Japanese novels revolving around teenage (ofc) protagonists Sakuta Azusagawa and Mai Sakurajima as they contend with the bizare phenomenon that's come to be called "Puberty Syndrome" (sometimes called "Adolescence Syndrome"), in which the emotions of teenagers/pre-teens/young adults are able to somehow affect reality via quirks of theoretical quantum physics. So in this world, if someone wishes they could redo a bad experience? They might start looping said experience ala Groundhog Day. If someone feels two sides of their personality are diametrically opposed? They could literally split into two separate versions of themselves. Only somehow resolving the underlying issue can fix these bizarre sci-fi events.

The first four arcs of the TV series could be described as "A boy is made to understand and empathize with how hard it is to grow up female." After that, starting with the final arc of the TV series and up through these movies, you could describe the story as "A boy is made to understand and empathize with people who struggle with disabilities." I have tons of respect for how the series is basically all about trying to provide deeper understanding/sympathy for everyone around us.

I'm an anime-only plebe who hasn't read the books these are based on or the manga adaption, so that obviously will affect my view of the story. With that said...

Sister Venturing Out is basically the emotional sequel to the TV series' final arc, the "Sister Home Alone" story. That one contains an emotional sequence that has made me cry on MULTIPLE viewings, which I consider to be some of the highest possible praise. I have to say that Sister Venturing Out has a similarly devastating scene that flips the script on what was so painful in "Sister Home Alone" and effectively shows the pain of the OPPOSITE side of the relationship. So: major props. It's a slow-build sort of tale without the tension inherent to some of the franchise's arcs — the central gimmick of "Puberty Syndrome" barely plays a role here — but it works well at delivering on emotional payoffs and character moments. I previously felt that "Sister Home Alone" was the most emotionally intense story in the series, but Sister Venturing Out is an easy rival to it.

Knapsack Kid, on the other hand, is all about Puberty Syndrome business and the suspense of how to resolve it. Unfortunately, I don't think it works nearly as well as Sister Venturing Out because it's so clearly in need of a longer runtime to flesh out its ideas. As the story stands here, the existence of the titular "Knapsack Kid" is never even remotely explained! Series fans know that we usually expect Rio Futaba to provide some kind of quantum theory that suits the weirdness occuring, but Rio only shows up long enough to vaguely hand-wave the reality-warping shenanigans at play. Nobody ever provides any justification for why Sakuta is being guided by an all-knowing childhood version of his girlfriend. How does she know so much about what's happening? How can she jump between... realities or timelines or whatever she's doing? Why her, and more importantly, why her as a child? Shouldn’t the CHILD version of Mai know LESS about this stuff? Normally, the series would have fun explaining this; here, they want us to stop thinking and just feel it. And admittedly, the emotional moments are still pretty strong. I just think I would've felt them harder if I understood more about how and why this was all happening.

Although the series has always had its emotional moments in each story arc, the fact that these two stories have so little room to breathe means we lose out on a lot of the humor and witty dialogue that the TV series managed. There's still some of it in here; it's just not as common because we don't really have much time to spare onn comedy.

We do, however, seem to have time to spare on setting up future stories! Two plot threads are set up that do not pay off in these films but instead are events for the upcoming "University Arc." A little tease at the end of the second movie (after the post-credits scene; don't miss out on that) says that "Animation Production is Confirmed" for the University Arc — whatever the hell that means. A new TV season? There are four books so far in the "University Arc," so that seems possible. A bunch more movies? It definitely implies something longer than just one additional film. Whatever this turns out to be, I look forward to it.

[theflyindutchwoman]

I’m piggy backing off our 5x20 anon cause I read your answer and I had thoughts and I was gonna comment on the post but I thought it might be too long 😂

Anyway, I’m really interested to see what they do with Lucy’s UC (long term ops) but on one hand I can see that she really does love UC, but I don’t necessarily believe her when she says she’ll be fine being gone for 6months to a year. She’ll absolutely be good at the work aspect of it, but emotionally being away for that long I don’t think she could handle. She was like almost devastated at the thought of not seeing Tim every day and their shifts not syncing up when she was going to transfer and again when they were discussing the detective vs metro hours. You could see how much she hated the idea of being away from him, and yet she’s gonna be okay not seeing or speaking to him while under for a long time? Idk it just doesn’t sit with me. It doesn’t seem in her character.

And then with Tim — I firmly believe when he asked her out, he already knew she was going UC and probably was already mentally preparing. He knew from the jump what being with Lucy would entail. So I do believe him when he says he’ll be fine. Cause knowing Tim, he thought it all before asking her out and taking that chance with her.

So how interesting would it be if it ends up being flipped. She’s not okay with it but he is, in a way — cause he really won’t be fine fine but he’ll manage cause he loves her.

You know what I mean?

Also I have a feeling it’ll go something like — she does a semi long op between 6a and 6b and comes back realizing she doesn’t like long term and just stays doing short term for a while and then stopping when her and Tim get married and eventually have kids. Cause that’s also what she wants and I highly doubt she’d want to still be doing UC like that once they’re married and have tiny humans and all that.

But also I want Lucy to have whatever career she wants lol she’s a badass.

Disclaimer : this is going to be a very long post… So hopefully Tumblr doesn't eat the 'keep reading' line. Also, I know how polarising the undercover discourse can be, so remember, those are just my two cents.

This is exactly why I hope we get to see Lucy on a long term assignment soon. So that she can find out if UC is truly something she enjoys doing and something she can handle. With all its ups and downs. Not just the part of playing a different character for a few days/weeks : this, she manages without trouble. I'm talking about the separation, the anxiety, always being on edge, the lies and deception, leaving the people you love behind (including the ones she might get attached to while undercover)… All the things she has been told about but hasn't really get to live yet. She needs to experience this to determine if that can be compatible with what she wants in life. The catch is she has to be a full-time undercover agent first. But she deserves to give it a try. Actually, more than that : she owes it to herself to try. Maybe she will decide that it's not for her (at least not long term UC)… Or maybe she will love it...

I think part of the reason why this seems out of character is because we don't really know why Lucy loves undercover work so much, what really attracted her to this line of work in the first place… The fact that the show has often portrayed it in an unflattering light doesn't help at all… It just creates a bigger dissonance. However, we need to remember that she is just starting her career, she's still figuring things out… Up until she joined the Academy, she didn't know what to do with her life. These are her words on the topic : Being a cop is the first thing I've ever been serious about… (1.04) I've been adrift since college, trying on different hats and different personalities, and nothing's felt right, until… Until this. (3.10) That's her whole driving force here : she finally found something she loves, that has meaning to her. That is so important. Even better : she is fully supported in that endeavor, including by people whose very lives got turned upside down by undercover work. We saw how much she loves the danger. It's not a coincidence that she asked Tim if he ever wished he had a normal job. Both of them can't fathom being anything else. Playing different roles is something she clearly likes and so far, only undercover work can give that to her. It's also the only department that showed an interest to her… At the end of the day, this is what makes her feel fulfilled, so I understand why she wants to pursue it and thinks she can handle it.

And maybe she can! Lucy is often underestimated, but she always proves herself. Don't get me wrong, I agree with your assessment : she did look rather devastated at the idea of spending less time with Tim… And yet, that didn't deter her one bit. She was still ready to move to another station. She still went along with the five-player trade despite Nyla's warning that the Metro hours were brutal. She was still studying for the detective's exam. Obviously there's a big difference between seeing less of each other and being completely separated for months. But my point is, she was still ready to make the sacrifice for Tim and she doesn't seem to regret it. She may not like the idea of being away, of not talking to him (and her friends) for months but that doesn't necessarily mean she can't handle it. Those are quite two different things. Wanting a family and a job that takes you away from your loves ones might seem contradictory, but she's not the first woman who finds herself in this conundrum. And notice how in the first two cases (moving in another station + Metro), she was fine with the trade-off (spending less time with Tim) because it meant that he would get to do something he loves, something he would find rewarding. If UC is that for her, then she deserves the same support.

As you mentioned, Tim absolutely knew about all of this and still decided that it was worth the risk. He was aware of her choice of career long before he even realised his feelings for her. From the moment she graduated, he's been nothing but supportive towards her goal. He was the one to convince her to go to the UC Academy. He asked her out mere days/weeks after she last went under (seriously, that was the episode right before). Undercover work is even the reason why they got together in the first place… which is so ironic when you think about it. When he said they were worth taking the risk, he meant it. Just like when he told Isabel that Lucy was different, I have no doubt he also meant it. He has some experience in the matter, he has some inklings as to what being separated for months truly means. Now it can be a hindrance, since it could trigger some bad memories - like we saw during her last undercover op. But it can also be an asset : he can learn from the past and avoid to make the same mistakes. I'd like to think that having both Tim and Nyla as her 'guardian angel' when she goes undercover is not just a happy happenstance. They both know the pitfalls of this job in a very different way and can guide Lucy on how to avoid them, to succeed where they previously failed. And let's not forget that he knows what's it like not to be supported… Ashley was trying to make him quit his job - I can't see him doing it to Lucy. I believe that Tim's biggest challenge will be to express his feelings, since he tends to internalise them. That's why I'm glad that he and Lucy were able to set things straight, to set their boundaries. Like you, I also think he is going to be fine (under the circumstances), but it was an important step for them. They can only make it work if they're both honest and communicate with each other.

And hear me out : maybe they could be the ones to make it work! So far, with the exception of her first solo op, Tim has always been involved… and even then, he managed to insert himself in the equation. So maybe that could be an alternative : having Tim as her case officer. It's not like it's impossible : her last assignment was supposed to last weeks or months, and Grey didn't have an issue with Tim being Lucy's handler. It would also solve a lot of issues : they would still be in direct contact, he would be able to immediately know if something was wrong and raise the alarm if necessary and she has complete faith in him, so knowing he's the one who has her back would probably make her feel more comfortable. And apparently they are not against the casual hookup during their debriefing ;).

You know, sometimes I wonder if we are just over thinking it… The writers have been teasing us with this long term UC mission since s3 and so far, the longest period was the 2-week op she did in 3.14. That and the month away at the Academy if we want to make it count… So who knows if we are ever going to get one. Maybe the writers are just going to follow what NCIS LA did. I don't know if you are familiar with the show, but basically the agents had to often go undercover to solve a case… it ended up being mostly short assignments so the mission would fit in one episode - two in rare cases. A bit like Lucy has done until now. Also, her getting married or having kids doesn't have to mean the end of her career. She could still work undercover. She could be a case officer herself. Or coordinate/supervise UC missions. Or mentor new officers… You know, be in a leadership position, which would be perfect if that happens in a couple of years. Or maybe she can be recruited by another division like Porter suggested in 5.02.

I want Lucy to have whatever career she wants lol she’s a badass. YES! I couldn't agree more! That's why I'm a bit sad at the idea that she has to change her dream… All the other main characters got their dream job. Sure, that job doesn't take them away for a long period of time but hey, it's a show, they can find a way to make it work. In the end, I don't know if she'd enjoy long term UC… I understand why you think she won't : that definitely wouldn't have been my first choice of career for her. But regardless of my opinion on the matter, I just want her to be able to make that choice for herself, you know? To determine what's best for her, whether it's going forward with UC or doing something else. The only scenario I would completely hate is if that decision is taken away from her… That Primm blocks her. Like they did with Nolan and that Union guy… Because unlike with John, I doubt there would be a Golden Ticket waiting for her...

[hello-eeveev]

Self Rec Tag Game

tagged by @spottedenchants thank you!!!

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.

1.something you absolutely adore

On the Nature of Attraction

T, Essek/Caleb, 7.5k

What more can I say about this fic that I haven't already? It's a very vulnerable fic that came from a very vulnerable place. It means a lot to me, and I love that it seems to mean a lot to other people. Sometimes art is sending out a call and receiving the answer: you're not alone. That, and I truly do just like it. I like the story, I like the pacing, I like how I wrote Essek's inner monologue. Unironically, it's a banger.

2. something that was challenging to create

All Things End, All Things Change

T, Essek/Caleb, 2.8k

Fun fact: this is an entirely different fic from what I had intended it to be at the outset. I had been planning an Essek POV romp through Aeor where the main tension was pining that would culminate in hand-holding that's not explicitly romantic but they both kinda know what's going on. Instead I got Caleb POV emotionally devastating choice in Aeor where the main tension is pining for power that you know isn't worth the risk and for a past you can never return to. Does result in hand-holding though, so good for them :) One thing I learned in this fic (and re-learning in the current fic I'm working on) is that Caleb's darker moods are more difficult for me to write than, say, Essek's. And once I get that internal feeling down, it's hard to figure out how much of that should be revealed through dialogue, what exactly should be revealed, and how should it be revealed. It requires some real intentional thought, a lot of brain power and brain space, makes my dopamine-starved adhd brain go noooooo lol That said, I am particularly proud of how I explored why Caleb chose Essek and Essek alone to accompany him to the T-Dock. I think I hit on some tasty stuff there.

3. something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably)

oh, by the way (also on tumblr with a small coda here)

G, Beau & Caleb, 932

This fic gives me a chuckle every time. It's got all the hits: empire siblings, Caleb playing a silly little prank, Beau's over-the-top reaction to said prank, the "Yasha doesn't get how Sending works" gag. Beau is a fun POV to write. I don't swear much in my day-to-day life and I am not prone to irritation or anger much at all, but those are pretty key to Beau's voice, especially in this little scenario I've crafted for her, so it was fun to play around in her headspace during this low-stakes, overdramatic moment she finds herself in.

4. something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.)

The Shadowhand Becomes A Baker

G, Essek/Caleb, 2.1k

My first critrole fic! This one surprised me in a couple of ways. Before this fic, I had thought that a beauyasha wedding one-shot I planned shortly after the c2 finale would be the first critrole fic I published, then I thought that I would re-spec a ramble about the relationship between Essek and the Bright Queen and publish that as my first critrole fic, then Ephred the Shadow Baker showed up and my twitter moots convinced me it was Essek in disguise (still holding on to that belief btw) and then I wrote this fic in 2-3 days before anyone else had the same idea. And I was so pleasantly surprised by how kind and eager shadowgast fic readers were! I had seen it ofc, but it's different to be on the receiving end. Before writing critrole fic, I had written some Fire Emblem fics that existed in corners that were far less active than shadowgast in general, much less shadowgast in 2021, so I had not been expecting such an enthusiastic response. It also surprised me that several people complimented my descriptions of the baked goods because at least two of them involved citrus in pastries, which is something I actually hate. I just pretended that someone might like them for the exact reason I hate them and really leaned in to everything I hate about cinnamon rolls that have orange in them. Turns out when you do that, you get some really vivid descriptions. So... writing tip, I guess?

5. something you want other people to see

How to Rest Chapter 1

G, Essek/Caleb, 3.2K

Shadowgast first date! This chapter makes me so soft! Back in my rom-com era! They have a picnic! They stargaze! Caleb flirts! Essek bluescreens! It is one of the joys of my life to make the wizards be awkwardly in love with each other (or, in this case, not quite in love yet, but on their way there), and this date is chock full of it. The hello and goodbye are two of my favorite moments. I really enjoy the imagery and how I conveyed the very blush-y, awkward first-date dynamic. I also love their conversation and Essek's subsequent introspection while they're stargazing. It's sweet and tender and layered, and I got to make a subtle nod to one of my favorite Fire Emblem games and the role that made me fall in love with Matt Mercer in the first place because sometimes two of your favorite ships are about people finding each other against all odds and who knows why their lives are intertwines, but man, are we glad they are.

tagging: @awesomefrogofawesome, @astrasia, @esseekthelyss, @quinn-of-aebradore, @cogsandsprings

[naranjapetrificada]

Good morning, crew mates.

Last night when I should have been asleep, I read about the rumored behind the scenes bullshit that tried to take our pirates away from us. This morning, I'm thinking about Batgirl and that Scooby-Doo film that both got canceled despite being almost complete. I'm thinking about Coyote vs. Acme. I'm thinking about Turner Classic Movies.

But also, because of my current WIP set in a similar (but OFMDified) world, I'm thinking about another IP owned by Warner Brothers now. One that even before Zaslav the Destroyer arrived, was canceled earlier than it was meant to be. One that was also groundbreaking in its own ways. One that's offering me a type of consolation in these trying times.

I'm thinking about HBO's Rome.

It was absolutely not perfect, especially around certain things to do with in-world consent and sexual assault. I'm not making this post to litigate that, though I will say that it was made in 2005, when we as a society certainly weren't having mature conversations about consent.

[Also that it was set in a society so patriarchal that daughters didn't receive their own given names, just names that said who their fathers were and designations that told you where they fell in the birth order (i.e. the daughters of Lucius Vorenus are named Vorena the Elder and Vorena the Younger).]

But it did pave the way for the sort of gritty, trope-inverting, epic series we saw different networks take a stab at in its wake. Many people say, correctly, that Rome walked so Game of Thrones could run. And yeah, GoT eventually ran right off a cliff, but the fact remains that networks, including HBO again, became willing to make large initial investments in shows with lavishly and lovingly detailed sets and costumes, top-notch casts, and beautiful but expensive effects in part because of the prestige and lasting praise for Rome.

So what does this have to do with OFMD? Besides being canceled after two seasons when there were plans for more, the way it redefined a setting and genre that previously felt stale, and the way people will probably talk about its unanticipated influence for years? I'm thinking about scenes that I'll never forget, and how both shows have those indelible moments, and how emotionally cathartic certain moments from Rome feel in the context of the cancelation of Our Flag Means Death.

I'm thinking about the rivalry between two characters in particular, Atia of the Julii and Servilia of the Junii, and the way the show depicted their conflict during their bitterest, most desperate, and most devastating moments. Obvious spoiler warnings for the second season below, including the death of a character, but also TW for a brief mention of rape, and for canon-typical (but not especially graphic?) attitudes toward and depiction of suicide. Because Rome was ugly, and if the show had one guiding principle it was to remind viewers that Rome was ugly.

But also: a character reading another for absolute and utter filth, and two truly terrifying curses, in case there are any studio executives you're feeling angry towards.

Firstly, there's the moment when Servilia curses Atia, inspired by IRL lead curse tablets found in Roman Egypt iirc.

"Gods of the inferno, I offer to you his limbs, his head, his mouth, his breath, his speech, his hands, his liver, his heart, his stomach..." indeed.

The second, which I won't embed because it is quite dark, features some things that I'd guess lots of folks have increasingly wished on Zaslav, especially "let [him] taste nothing but ashes and iron" for me.

And last but not least, some hope. Even if our efforts for a reversal of the decision or a move to another network don't come to pass, we will still be here. Artists will keep creating and figuring out new ways to share their work with the world.

Zaslav is not the first executive to destroy an industry but the fundamental human impulse of art is eternal. Remembering that makes it feel much more possible to look at this whole fucked up situation and these fucked up capitalist ghouls who aren't unique at all and point to their predecessors and say "go and look for them now."