#there are many benefits to having a mortician as your ex

[hisbutleronhiatus]

It has been 194 days since the Kuroshitsuji hiatus was announced

Othello sauntered out of the Undertaker’s funeral parlor with his hair in even greater disarray than usual, a smirk on his face, and a conspicuous bruise forming on his neck.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #456

“i don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger, & that feels so rough”

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? I know at LEAST over an hour. I was in agony. What type of TV shows are your favourite? Animal docs. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Bitch I still am lmao. Do you know anyone who has died in battle? No. When was the last time you went on an adventure? Bro, I could NOT tell you. I haven't had one of those in what feels like eons. What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Are you good at rapping? Never tried, but I'm sure I'd be awful. I stutter too much. Name one world issue that upsets you. Just ONE????????? Well, I can name homelessness as very high on the list. How do you feel about tanning? I hate it. I can't stand the heat, so why would I deliberately go bake in it? Have you ever given a public speech? Yeah, in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade when I was innnn... one of those grades, idr which. It was for my D.A.R.E. essay. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? NOOOOOOOOOOO I'm way too awkward. Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Bro who tf kisses with their eyes open, that shit is creepy. Do you believe you can change someone? No. One can only change themselves. How did you react when your first pet died? I have no memory of our first pet. Have you ever drawn anime? No. Can you use a pogo stick? When I was a kid, I became a MASTER. I got one for I want to say Christmas and I was obsessed. When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like? Idk, first he needs to get on Facebook and see I messaged him alsdkfjalkdj. He like never gets on there. Do you like bathing/showering? No. One, it's a chore, and two, it's actually painful for me, standing up so long and propping my legs up and stuff like that to clean myself properly. Have you ever considered entering a race? HEEEEEEEEEEELL no. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Probably Gaga, idk. Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I actually kinda want a TV now? What do you take the most pictures of? Flowers. What are you always in the mood for? Lately, Krispy Kreme donuts, lol. I haven't had one in a very long time, but goddamn does a hot glazed donut sound BANGIN' right now and has for days. What is something that you never turn down? Hm... how am I blanking??? What is something that you always turn down when offered? Certain foods or drinks, like tea. Name something sexy about your significant other. I don't have one'a those. What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Um, idk. As interests work, I may move away from any hobby eventually. If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance. If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? Violin. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? A mortician. That job doesn't even seem all that bad to me? I think it'd be kinda chill somehow???? I could NEVER be a surgeon. I'd be terrified of fucking something up. Have you ever been on a subway? No. Are you in love? No. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? *eyes emoji* Do you want to get married when you’re older? Yes. What was the last band shirt you wore? PROBABLY my Metallica shirt? But I'm unsure, ultimately. You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? Ugh, I've been wanting a nice chocolate milkshake for a while. Have you ever given someone flowers? For Mother's Day one year, I collected some wildflowers to put in a jar for Mom. I've also given Jason roses before. I really wanted to give Sara some when I surprised her for her birthday, but I didn't want to ask her parents to drive me somewhere where I could buy her some, ha ha. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? None. My days are all the same. Do you have any concerts coming up? No, but UGH, I was so hyped a few days ago because I saw Motionless In White was going on tour next year, but of course they're going to the big city on the OTHER end of the state versus the capital, which I'm way closer to. -_- Bands ALWAYS choose Charlotte on the super rare occasion they come to NC... Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ugh, I hate it. What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos, maybe? Between Mountain Dew and those... I am such a fucking gamer stereotype lmfao. Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? I think I had to before in school? Idr. Do you like pineapple? Love it. Does your house have a dishwasher? Yes. A dishwasher is one thing I MUST have in my own future house. I cannot stand touching dirty dishes. Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? Oh, absolutely. Sunflower tattoos are especially popular around here. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and uhhh Spanish? Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. I don't mind them. I've never understood the hate, honestly? I think he's capable of being funny. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Only by myself when I was a kid losing my baby teeth. Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? Nooooo. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? Fuck no, I hate it. What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? I don't like those. Do you get cold easily? No, but I get hot extremely easily. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? I don't think so, no. Do you admire nature? I positively adore nature. If only we treated it better... Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Done sexual things in places I probably shouldn't have, oops. Name two of your favorite things as a child. Pokemon and Webkinz. Do you own a Pillow Pet? No. They're cute, though. My niece has one. Do you tend to solve problems with violence? Absolutely not. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you know a hoarder? Yes. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I just leave 'em be, honestly. Do you have any interesting scar stories? Not really. Do you hate the texture of meatballs? No, I love me some meatballs. Do you get migraines? Very, very rarely. They fucking suck. Do you like guns? NOOOOOOO guns terrify me alsd;kjfal;sdjfk Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') How much time do you spend taking surveys? A whole lot. It's just that I'm like... always bored and the randomness of surveys can add interesting little flares to the day, I guess. Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, for sure. Would you like to work at a candy shop? No. I don't want to work directly with people. Do you have feelings for someone? It's funny; now that I've settled the extreme indecision, I've come to realize that they're very strong feelings. How you go from being indecisive to really, really liking somebody, hell if I know. Which one of your guy friends is the best looking? Uhhh Girt is like my only real guy friend, so I guess it's by default him, ha ha. I'm not particularly attracted to him, but he's not ugly by any means. Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf? I'm so sorry. Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? Either Ozzy or Metallica. Most likely Ozzy, though. Which song describes your mood at the moment? Hm. I dunno. Which movie(s) do you quote the most? None, really. Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date? None; we don't share irl friends, being many states apart, and not even that many online ones. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? I don't have my own car. Which one of your friends will be the most successful? I'm not psychic. What store did you last shop at? Mom and I picked up a Wal-Mart order the other day. Do you think telepathy is real? Absolutely not. When did you last draw something for fun? A few days ago, I started a drawing of Maieykio for Sara. Who makes the most in your entire family? I have no idea. Do you like writing essays? I don't mind, if the topic interests me. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? Nah. Well, I think you can take it to an visual extreme, but that's just my opinion. Do what makes you comfortable in your own body. Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It's picked up. When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands? The inside of my elbow. Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? It usually happened at night. Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? Haven't taken it yet. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? OH MY GOD NEITHER Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: No one, really? Well, unless you count my change of feelings for Girt, but it's just that: a type of change. I've loved him platonically since high school, and it's like, I feel the same for him, just in a romantic way now? Does your car have a sunroof? No. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? My mom. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope, not how I roll. Who’s the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Unless you count my cat. Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook? Former teachers, yes. I feel kinda bad for 'em now... They're all the sweetest, God-fearing people, and then there's my outspoken (online) and liberal ass sharing shit that's gotta disappoint them now lmaoooo.

[tiny-personal-university-thing]

Skincare and Other Ways to Live Your Best Life

Skincare 

So I've had a lot of improvement in the condition of my skin (in terms of the occasional hormonal acne, and hyperpigmentation that serves to remind me how wonderful my pre-teen and teenage years were), and I thought it would share it with you all my routine. 

Let me preface this by saying that I have tried everything for my skin. I’ve tried Proactive (which only really seemed to bleach my pillow cases), Tetracycline and Minocycline, all of the top of the line products from companies such as Peter Thomas Roth. I even went through all of the INTENSE steps to get on Accutane, only to find out that it doesn’t really do anything at all for hormonal acne and hyperpigmentation - and at that point the occasional cysts I would get were few and far in between *knocks on wood*. Long story short, you name it - I have tried it. 

However, I have recently become some what of a product junkie, and have a mildly elaborate skincare routine that is relatively inexpensive, and actually works. Since I fully believe in sharing the wealth, I thought I’d share.

Mornings

I start off by washing my face using Noxzema Classic Clean. Noxzema is a timeless product - something your parents or grandparents probably used back in the day. It is by far the cheapest face wash I have ever owned (about $3.99-$5.00 depending on the retailer). I found out about it through my ex-boyfriend’s mother - who actually recommended it to me to ease the pain of a sunburn, as it has a cooling effect. You can read more about Noxzema here

I then move on to toner. I use Witch Hazel. It’s incredibly soothing, gentle on the majority of skins (so don’t come for me), and again - pretty cheap. I have found that it retails for usually $3-$5, with more high end brands (perhaps with Rose Hips Oil) going for $6-$7. I have used Witch Hazel for years and I love it so much. Technically, you don’t need to use a toner, but since using it twice daily I have really seen a difference in my hyperpigmentation and the overall oil production on my face. You can read more about Witch Hazel and it’s benefits here I apply Witch Hazel to my face using cotton pads, making sure to use both sides of the cotton pad all over my face. 

Last, I use exactly 3 drops of Tea Tree Oil. As with most essential oils, you will probably want to dilute it with water, or even our good friend, Witch Hazel. Let me warn you now Tea Tree Oil is STRONG. Personally, I do not dilute it; however, you might want to at least build up a tolerance to it. Again, it is very strong - in smell and in potency. With this being said, I have used it every day for the past couple of months and have actually taken a strange liking to the smell! You definitely get used to it. Additionally, I have found that it doesn’t burn or irritate my skin, but use. your. best. judgement. Finally, Tea Tree Oil can be found cheap at many retailers. I purchase mine at Walmart for around $8 and the bottle will last me about a month and a half. You can read more on Tea Tree Oil here  I apply the Tea Tree Oil directly to my face, using my hands to massage it into my skin until I don’t feel the liquid anymore. I will say that Tea Tree Oil definitely does not feel like oil, that is to say that it doesn’t have the same consistency as something like coconut oil. 

I then proceed with my make up. 

Nights 

(Skip this step if you are not a make-up wearer) I begin by removing my make up with a make up remover. Currently, I am using Clinque’s Take the Day Off make up remover. It ranges between $10-$30 depending on if you buy it at Walmart or Ulta/Sephora. However, it is easily the best make up remover I have ever used. It actually takes it all off in one quick swipe. 

I move on to using Noxzema again to really make sure I get all of the make up off.

Next, I do one of two things. Every other day, I alternate between one of two products. The first product is a Dead Sea Minerals Clay Mask, which you can get for about $3-$5. I leave it on for about 10-15 minutes, and then remove it using Noxzema and my Panasonic, but you can totally just use your hands. On nights that I don’t use my clay mask, I will use this amazing new product that I was fortunate enough to receive a sample of from Sephora - it’s the AmorePacific Enzyme Peel. Now, this is a pricey item, I won’t lie to y’all. But it makes your skin feel - and I don’t say this often - like a baby’s butt. I alternate using it because for a tube of it, it ranges between $45-60. But again - wow. It really works so well. It is also apparently one of the best selling beauty products in Korea. And it doesn’t burn or dry my skin out. I am so in love with this stuff. It’s a powder that you put a couple drops of water in, work it into a paste, and massage into your skin for about a minute. Again, I really only do this at night and every other day because it costs a pretty penny. You can read more about Dead Sea Minerals Clay Masks here and the AmorePacific Enzyme Peel here. 

I then proceed with Witch Hazel. Again, I make sure to use both sides of the cotton pad.

Next, I use my Tea Tree Oil. This time I can use a couple more drops since I’m not really concerned with my face looking a little shiny or smelling like ... well Tea Tree Oil. It just makes my boyfriend crinkle his nose because I “smell like a koala.” 

FINALLY, I finish it off with a dime size (lol more like a nickle) portion of my Curology bottle! First of all, for those of you who don’t know about Curology - it is a personalized skin care product that you can purchase online. I was able to receive my first bottle for free (I only paid $4.95 in S&H), and received it in two weeks. Curology really easy, you can do it on your phone. Essentially, you will need to answer some questions about your skin type, what your concerns are, etc. And you will also need to upload pictures of your ENTIRE FACE WITHOUT MAKE UP. Here are the pictures I took for your reference. Curology also connects you with a skin care professional to answer all of your burning questions about how to use your Curology. It also comes in a precious little box that says “I was made for you,” and I found that to be incredibly endearing. For the second box, I paid $19.95ish. The bottles also last you for about 60 days, so for how well this product works + how much money it will save you in potential dermatologist appointments is so worth looking into. Again, you can get your first bottle for $4.95, so why not? 

Then I get my beauty sleep. 

Self-Care 

Especially if you have chronic pain, or stress/anxiety - I highly recommend the following:

Epsom Salt Baths - Personally, I like to pair my Epsom Salt baths with water that is pretty hot - almost too hot? But definitely know your limits on this one. I don’t want any of you passing out in your bathtub and turning into soup. Don’t put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. 

For baths - while I am soaking in my warm water that reminds me of the pit of Hell from which I came, I enjoy watching Youtube series such as Ask a Mortician, Buzzfeed Unsolved, various beauty gurus, and a plethora of other subjects. What I am trying to say is - take your time in the tub. Really allow yourself to detox. 

For showers - pump up the jams, and get your inner Beyonce on. Nothing screams louder to me that something is off about me than whether or not I sing along to songs. If I notice that I am not singing to a bop I know the words to by heart, I stop for a second and ask myself what is bothering me.

You can also take some time to write down your thoughts in a lovely journal, doodle a bit, or look at aesthetically pleasing images which there are a plethora of on Tumblr. 

I also found out the other day that we have to physically help our lymphatic systems drain. An un-drained lymphatic system (so to speak) can lead to you not functioning the way you need to, and just not feeling up to anything. I highly recommend that you read up on your lymphatic system here. However, long story short - you can help your lymphatic system out by staying hydrated, alternating between hot and cold (like a hot bath and then a cold shower), practicing deep breathing, or going for a brisk walk. 

I also recommend drinking about a tea spoon of Apple Cider Vinegar twice a day. The benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar are numerous; however, here are some of the most significant ones: 

weight loss, reduced cholesterol, lower blood sugar levels and improved symptoms of diabetes

Additionally - and this is important - if you chose to incorporate Apple Cider Vinegar into your daily regiment, be SURE to purchase the one that says “with the Mother.” I don’t know who she is, but that is the kind you need! Without going into too much detail, it definitely keeps you -- regular, shall we say? Apple Cider Vinegar tastes, well, like sewer water some might say - so you may want to dilute it with water or juice. Also, because ACV is quite acidic, you may want to drink it through a straw so that you don’t end up completely toothless. I am currently consuming 1 tea spoon in the morning, and 1 tea spoon before bed!

Also, ACV is apparently a great alternative to Witch Hazel! 

It is also good to do little things that may make you feel good about yourself, like making your bed, painting your nails, letting your conditioner sit in your hair for a little longer, treating yourself every now and again, or maybe indulging in a little retail therapy.

Etc

Eliminate anyone from your life that makes you feel less than

Drink your water and take your meds

Make time for yourself. Do the things you love. You cannot just work, study, and go to class 24/7.

Don’t be afraid to invite people to go out.

Don’t be afraid to say no to people when you have to, this includes clubs, work, or hanging out with friends when you really need to eat, sleep, do some homework, get groceries, etc. 

Anyway, I hope that some of these prove to be helpful to y’all! I know I promised that this summer would be the summer of self-care until classes resume for the fall, and I haven’t posted as much as I promised. I do hope to be better about that. Feel free to message me with your favorite skin care/self care methods, or comment them below this post. Additionally, I hope it goes without saying that if you can’t use these methods for any reason - you won’t try them, and that I am obviously not a doctor and can’t give you medical advice. These are all just things that have worked for me this summer, and I have definitely seen improvement in my skin, body, and well-being. 

I hope everyone is enjoying their summers! 

[eldritchsurveys]

968.

What's your favourite sport? Do you prefer to watch it or play it?: >> Figure skating. I can’t skate, so....

Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook?:  >> I don’t remember.

Have you ever been to that person's house?: >> ---

How recently did you wash your hands?:  >> About a half-hour ago.

How many girls do you know named Emma?:  >> I don’t know anyone named Emma.

Are you upset, for any reason at all?:  >> I’m not upset right now, but I was for a fair chunk of today. I hate it when I get triggered by something random when I’m not at home, because can’t just lay in my bed with my plushies and self-regulate. This is truly my safe zone and when I’m not here it takes me 1000% more time and energy to get back to normal (and that’s if I succeed at all -- I did not today, not until I got back home).

How did you feel when you woke up today?:  >> I felt fine when I woke up today.

When you're stressed, what helps you to relax or calm down?:  >> Being in my room, apparently. Nothing else is really reliable. Maybe further down the line I’ll be able to self-regulate elsewhere, but right now this is how it is.

What were you doing before you started this survey?:  >> A different survey.

Is there something else you should be doing, that's more important?: >> No.

When was the last time you neglected to do something that you'd planned?:  >> I don’t remember. I haven’t really been planning things recently, aside from, like, doing my FFXIVWrite prompts. Which I haven’t lapsed on yet.

Is there someone that can always make you smile no matter how bad you feel?:  >> Of course not.

Do you have any friends that you feel don't fully appreciate you?:  >> I don’t really feel appreciated by anyone. Like, I’m only just now starting to trust that Sparrow isn’t lying when she says stuff about me lmao.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful?:  >> ---

Who was the last person that apologised to you?:  >> I don’t remember.

What were they apologising for?:  >> ---

Do you think they meant it?:  >> ---

Would you be embarrassed if your parents looked at your Facebook?:  >> ---

Describe the personality of the person you have feelings for.:  >> ---

What does your pencil case look like? What's in it?:  >> ---

In your Facebook friends list, who is the first person listed under 'D'?: >> I don’t feel like looking at my facebook friends list right now.

How did you meet him/her?:  >> ---

Did the last person you kissed have facial hair?:  >> Yes.

You're locked in a room with your ex. Any problems?:  >> Yeah, I’m fucking locked in a room, what’s wrong with you?

Be honest. What are you most afraid of?:  >> I’m not sure. My default answer is “death” because it’s easier to say than breaking down the exact nature of what I fear.

In the last 24 hours, have you seen or spoken to anyone you dislike?:  >> Yeah, Sparrow’s mother, but not for long so at least there’s that.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you?:  >> It’s complicated.

What is a word or phrase that you say often?:  >> I don’t know. <-- Or maybe that one, especially on surveys.

Name 3 songs that remind you of someone special.:  >> May It Be by Enya, Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell, Helvegen by Wardruna.

How much chocolate do you have in your house atm, if any?:  >> Sparrow has some. I don’t know the exact amount or nature of chocolate that she possesses at the moment, but she’s the one who eats it in this house, so if it’s here, it’s hers.

Who is the most intelligent person you know?:  >> ---

Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them?:  >> No.

Who was the last person you insulted?: >> Probably someone I don’t personally know, like a celebrity or some rando on Reddit (any insult would have happened while talking to Sparrow, not like... in a comment to the actual person or anything).

What are the other members of your household doing at this moment?:  >> Sparrow is playing Skyrim in the living room. I don’t know where the cat is and I don’t care as long as he stays out of my room.

Do you have any neighbours that you don't get along with?:  >> I dislike all my neighbours on principle. But I don’t actually know any of them personally to know whether I’d get along with them or not. At this point, if I have to interact with any of them I’d just blow up with all the repressed rage I’ve felt towards them, so... yeah.

How recently did you speak to the last person you kissed?:  >> I am almost always in some kind of [spoken or otherwise] dialogue or interaction with Can Calah. Benefits of soulbonding.

Who was the last person you told to get lost, or something similar?:  >> I don’t usually tell people to get lost. Or anything similar.

Give me a random line from the last song you listened to.: >> I don’t remember the last song I listened to.

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you Facebook messaged?:  >> Nope. We don’t know each other well enough to have anything to argue about (I don’t make a habit of arguing with strangers or acquaintances because they’re not allowed to have that much emotional power over me).

Do you have any plans for tonight?: >> My plans are to do these surveys and then veg out on tumblr for the rest of the evening. It’s been a stressful day in this brain of mine, so time to chill.

Where were you at 9 o'clock last night?: >> In my room. Or maybe I was still in the living room playing FFXIV. It’s possible, I’ve been very focused on that game lately.

In the past week, have you slept past midday?:  >> Absolutely not. If I ever do something like that, assume I am very ill (either physically or mentally).

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to?: >> Nothing’s happening tomorrow, but I’m looking forward to waking up refreshed and reset and ready for a new day of playing FFXIV and messing around on the internet.

Is there anyone you used to be friends with, that you now dislike?:  >> I don’t dislike my former friends, I’m just entirely disinterested in dealing with them on that level ever again. Unless, of course, they’ve changed a lot (as I have, and continue to).

What is your least favourite chocolate bar?: >> Most of them are my least favourite, I don’t like milk chocolate at all and there are plenty of dark bars I don’t like either.

Do any of your friends or relatives have the same birthday as you?:  >> No.

Name the last song that made you cry.:  >> I don’t remember.

Who do you miss at this moment?:  >> ---

Where is that person?:  >> ---

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour?:  >> Yeah.

Have you had any deep conversations today?: >> No.

Is your television on atm?:  >> No.

If it is, what are you watching?:  >> ---

Are you wearing anything blue?:  >> No.

Who were the last 5 people to make you smile?:  >> Can Calah and Sparrow, I guess.

Do you use Twitter?:  >> No.

Tell me about the last YouTube video you watched.  >> It was an Ask a Mortician video about Columbine.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?:  >> No.

[idea-garden]

prompts #0001 - 0150 + bonus (wwyd)

ALL PROMPTS | SMUT PROMPTS | WWYD | RULES | ASK | MY WRITING

I’m happy I made it this far, and I hope to make many more prompts. Without further ado, here are the first 150 prompts on my blog:

Prompt Number - Prompt Name - Prompt Tags

bold = smut

0001 - AFTER WORK DRINKS - drunk, bar, romance, alcohol, one night stand

0002 - NO PANTIES - public, humiliation, domination, no panties, sexy texts

0003 - HIGH CLASS HOOKER - cheating, prostitution, hooker, escort

0004 - ONLINE HOOKUP - online, webcam, cyber sex, nudes, selfies

0005 - DADDY’S FAVORITE TOY - daddy kink, bdsm, d/s, fetish

0006 - DARKEST DESIRE - desire, secret, kink, fetish

0007 - HOW MANY LICKS? - oral, oral sex, filth, dirty talk

0008 - BEHIND CLOSED DOORS - politics, cheating, romance, spite, revenge

0009 - VIOLENT TENDENCIES - violence, scary, domestic violence, dark

0010 - DON’T LOOK AWAY - mirror, kink, dominance, voyeurism, exhibitionism

0011 - SOLO (HER) - masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, fetish

0012 - SOLO (HIM) - masturbation, pornography, voyeurism, exhibitionism

0013 - SUCK - supernatural, vampire, roommates, funny, illness, au

0014 - OUIJA - gore, horror, ghost, death, scary, ouija board

0015 - SNAPSHOT - au, camera, evil, good, personality, love, dating, romance

0016 - THE TRUTH IS - confession, revelation, secret, vulnerable

0017 - HOMECOMING - home, family, relationships

0018 - BREAK ME - rough sex, angry sex, tension

0019 - POKER FACE - gambling, debt, power, addiction

0020 - ODD - weird, habit, strange, odd, character development

0021 - JEALOUS - jealousy, rough, angry, sex, teasing

0022 - LOREM IPSUM - horror, au, curse, supernatural, demon, monster

0023 - ASPHYXIATION - asphyxiation, bdsm, choking, pain, dark, domestic violence

0024 - EYES - dark, soul, eyes, character, scary

0025 - ROAD TRIP - funny, road trip, misadventure

0026 - PRIVATE SHOW - college, teacher, student, stripper, romance

0027 - RETAIL - supernatural, black friday, retail, au, funny

0028 - FULL MOON - supernatural, werewolf, curse, death, murder

0029 - FUCKBOY - fuckboy, club, nightclub, sex, one night stand

0030 - DADDY’S RULES - daddy kink, fetish, bdsm, d/s, rules, obedience

0031 - DEALER - cocaine, mafia au, gang au, drugs, violence, crime

0032 - AFTERLIFE - murder, ghost, justice, crime solving, supernatural, au

0033 - LIAR, LIAR - lies, liar, punishment, violence, danger

0034 - BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN - mortician, blonde, funny, morgue

0035 - ANGEL - angel, question, character development

0036 - COLLEGE - college au, university, meeting, ominous

0037 - GODS AND GODDESSES - gods, goddesses, mythology, 

0038 - FEAR - test results, fear, concern

0039 - NOT ENOUGH - inadequacy, self-esteem, dark, sadness

0040 - THROUGH HIS STOMACH - horror, medical, dark, torture

0041 - HARD DAY - love, romance, prostitution, sex workers

0042 - INSOMNIAC - insomnia, fatigue, smut/no smut

0043 - TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA - thirteen, fear, irrational

0044 - FAKE - fake, imposter, deceit, lies, grifter, con artist

0046 - VILE - kinkshaming, ostracism

0047 - HEAD - oral sex, dirty talk

0048 - 666 - graduate student, mathematics, satan, devil, antichrist

0049 - ONE HELL OF A TIME - satan, devil, romance, funny, dating

0050 - TAROT - exes, tarot, fortune telling, romance, love polygon

0051 - NECROMANCER - necromancy, supernatural, socially awkward, au

0052 - FAVORITE MOVIE - movies, au

0053 - TYPO - typo, coworkers, accident, funny

0054 - LUST (FIRST DEADLY SIN) - cheating, money, sex, power

0055 - GLUTTONY (SECOND DEADLY SIN) - drugs, addiction, sex

0056 - GREED (THIRD DEADLY SIN) - royalty au, blood lust, violence, war

0057 - SLOTH (FOURTH DEADLY SIN) - anxiety, depression, sadness

0058 - WRATH (FIFTH DEADLY SIN) - violence, hatred, murder

0059 - ENVY (SIXTH DEADLY SIN) - vengeance, beauty queens, pageants

0060 - PRIDE (SEVENTH DEADLY SIN) - villain, hero, transformation

0061 - THE BOY ON THE ISLAND - mystery, neighbor, romance

0062 - SAD - sadness, inadequacy

0063 - BATTERIES - song lyrics, miley cyrus, masturbation

0064 - OTHER PEOPLE NEED FOOD - song lyrics, mac miller, sex, oral sex

0065 - PORNSTAR - pornography, adult movies, normalcy

0066 - SEX, CIGARS, AND BOOZE - character development, favorite things

0067 - HOROSCOPE - horoscope, astrology, zodiac, deceit, ominous, warning

0068 - I TOLD YOU SO - flexibility, dare

0069 - TOO MUCH CLOTHING - nudity, nakedness

0070 - STOCKHOLM SYNDROME - kidnapping, deceit, abduction

0071 - BORED GAMES - netflix and chill, boredom

0072 - LOST LUGGAGE - sex toys, accident, funny

0073 - REALITY LEAVES A HORRIBLE TASTE SOMETIMES - reality sucks

0074 - MEMOIRS OF A GRIMOIRE - supernatural, au, witch, spells, magic

0075 - SHE USED TO BE ME - love, romance, cheating, sadness

0076 - STORY WITHIN A STORY - au, character development

0077 - HOTLINE BLING - sex workers, phone sex, college au, professor

0078 - STARS - why astrology isn’t predictive of future spouses

0079 - PLAYTHING - used, toy, lonliness

0080 - CROSSROADS - devil, selling your soul, midnight

0081 - RUMORS - au, rumors

0082 - OPERATION: DONNIE BRASCO - dea, drugs, mafia au, gang au

0083 - INITIATION - gang au, romance, violence

0084 - DESTROY YOU - dark, scary, danger, kink, fetish

0085 - SPANK ME, MISTRESS - bdsm, master/slave, d/s, kink, fetish

0086 - POTATO CHIPS - funny, incident, office, cafeteria

0087 - BATED BREATH - lingerie, nervousness, phone call

0088 - FUNERAL - death, loss, grief, sex

0089 - SHOW’N’TELL - private show, show and tell, voyeurism, exhibitionism

0090 - BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE SPREADSHEET TRANSCRIPTION ERROR - beauty, au, funny, rating scale, typo, error

0091 - VACAY - song lyrics, fifth harmony, sex

0092 - BODY - song lyrics, mino, kpop, khiphop, sex, foreplay

0093 - 10 OF THE SEXIEST THINGS YOU CAN DO IN BED - clickbait article, sex life

0094 - I JUST WANT TO KNOW - hate, sadness, inadequacy

0095 - SEASONS CHANGE - people, idiom, change, life lessons

0096 - POTLUCK - sex, potluck, habits, funny, personality, character development

0097 - ILLEGAL - illegal activity, money, business

0098 - PINTEREST - pinterest, funny, character quotes

0099 - LOOK AT ME - funny, character development

0100 - HUNDRED WORDS - drabble, serenity

0101 - 101 - sex, teasing, teacher/student

0102 - AN APPLE A DAY - medical, dating, romance

0103 - CAM GIRL - cyber sex, romance

0104 - FROM ENEMIES TO LOVERS - environmentalist, real estate developer

0105 - SHORTS - scantily clad, sexy

0106 - SWINGERS - kink, fetish

0107 - 90′S PARTY - funny, mistake, 1790s, 1990s, party

0108 - KEY PARTY - kink, fetish, funny, accident

0109 - BRIDESMAID - wedding, cheating, sex

0110 - SWEET MEMORIES - writer, memories, dying

0111 - BOOKSTORE - mystery, romance, danger

0112 - MORNING AFTER - one night stand, alcohol, embarrassment, romance

0113 - INKED - tattoo shop, independence

0114 - PERSONAL TRAINER - personal trainer, d/s, fitness

0115 - GOALS - character development

0116 - LOVE NOTE - character development

0117 - REDUNDANCY - funny, character quotes, character development

0118 - I’VE NEVER SEEN A DEAD BODY - corpse, scary, funny, death

0119 - WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? - phone sex, funny, romance

0120 - IF I WAS THERE RIGHT NOW - housework, funny, character quotes, character development

0121 - 21 - wild night, adventure, hangover

0122 - AMBER - angst, dreams, regret

0123 - SEASHELLS - business, funny, tongue twister

0124 - LIKE A MOTH TO A FLAME - mystery, danger

0125 - HE’S BEAUTY, HE’S GRACE - funny, facesitting, character quotes, character development

0126 - HAPPINESS AT STAKE - money, happiness, deceit

0127 - MONTHLY ALERT - au, menstruation, funny

0128 - TEACHER’S PET - omegaverse, teacher/student

0129 - PLAYMATE - omegaverse, online, hookup

0130 - WHO’S YOUR DADDY? - omegaverse, orgy, paternity

0131 - MINE - omegaverse, love polygon, danger

0132 - CONSORT - omegaverse, consort, sex worker, love polygon, danger

0133 - SERVANT - money, power, sex, royalty au

0134 - MAMA’S BABY, DADDY’S MAYBE - incest, royalty au, affair, secrets

0135 - ONCE A BLUEBLOOD - sex workers, drug abuse, modern aristocrats/ royalty au

0136 - TRAVELING MERCHANT - sex toys, salesman. royalty au

0137 - FOR THE GOOD OF THE KINGDOM - well-being, royalty au

0138 -  A CHANGE IS IN ORDER - self-hate, desperation, change

0139 - SIGNS’ FAVORITE KINKS - astrology, WRITING PROMPT, sex, kink

0140 - ROOMMATES - desperate, roommates, college au

0141 - NOT DONE YET - command, character quotes, character development

0142 - WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I CALLED YOU DADDY? - daddy kink, fetish, spanking

0143 - BEST FRIENDS…WITH BENEFITS - friendship, romance, love, sex

0144 - PLAYING THIS GAME - teacher/student, college au

0145 - EAT SHIT AND DIE - anger, character quotes, character development

0146 - BROTHEL - sex workers, first time, nervousness, coercion

0147 - BROAD DAYLIGHT - public sex, fingering, kink

0148 - BUBBLEGUM-FLAVORED - condoms, funny, sex, character quotes, character development

0149 - READ MY LIPS - kissing, character quotes, character development. love, romance, flirting

0150 - ORDERLY - mental hospital, au, scary, murder, death

BONUS - WWYD (1/17/17)

WWYD #1 - RUDE IDOL

WWYD #2 - WEIRD NEIGHBOR

WWYD #3 - HAPPY ENDING

WWYD #4 - REAL WORLD

WWYD #5 - PREACHER’S KID

WWYD #6 - CULT

WWYD #7 - INTERIOR DECORATOR

WWYD #8 - WRONG NUMBER

Thanks so much! Now what? I need more smut, clearly.