#there are exceptions though: i like vision wanda black panther and hawkeye

[kryptonbabe]

"Changing size won't help you, father... Nothing will! On the day you created me, you sealed your own irreversible DOOM!!"

I keep saying the same to my dad since I was five... This is just the natural father-son relationship progression Hank, infancy, adulthood, primal killing impulse towards your progenitor

There's so much to unpack in these panels... "mechanized Oedipus complex" is just an awesome name for an industrial metal album

From Avengers #58 (1968) by Roy Thomas & John Buscema

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Yeah, Phase 4 retroactively creates problems with the previous phases. The Eternals could have helped A LOT in the fight against Thanos. What If gave us a really cool scene where Ultron sliced Thanos in half...except wait...he was in Vision's body. So was it only because he was Ultron-enhanced, or could Vision have defeated Thanos THE WHOLE TIME? So Wanda was born in '89? That makes her 26 during AOU. I thought she was a teenager. Didn't Steve call her a kid in CW? Those are just a few examples.

Eternals from their trailer alone, caused that problem: Where the hell were they during the entire MCU??? And like, trailers implied MAYBE they cant intervene unless ordered to do so, which could have explained it....but no, the actual film basically showed they could have intervened ANY point, but didn't and therefore, behold the worst thought out MCU introduction of characters yet....besides a-lot of characters anyway.

What If...? really caused a-lot of problems like that: like you pointed out, could Vision have sliced Thanos in half the entire time, or was it cause of Ultron? We will never know. Shuri is said to be sixteen in Black Panther, but uh....that's a tall six year old then in What If...?, given Iron Man is ten years before Black Panther. Why didn't they just go back for Peter in Star Lord T'Challa??? Can't Ego just reform while T'Challa is gone in finale, therefore rendering T'Challa's effort to nothing? What happened to Wakanda after Erik was imprisoned by the Watcher in finale??? Do they know what happened to Erik and therefore, can call off the war??? What the actual fuck was the point of ZOMBIES, since none of the heroes show up in finale??? Why not remove ZOMBIES as a result and put Gamora's episode in? WHY WAS LOKI THAT EASILY DEFEATED IN FINALE? Why does Peggy have the winter soldier suit when she wouldn't be going through Winter Soldier, cause Bucky never fell off the train here??? The only episode that didn't leave me questioning shit was the Party Thor episode, and even then it got me annoyed at the lack of Jotun Loki in the actual MCU.

Wanda's age just like Shuri's is now, is a confusing mess. Born in '89....but like you said, called a kid in civil war and in Age of Ultron, Hawkeye comments about her going to high school and such, so like....did they only decide to make her an adult so she could be shipped off with Vision like the way she is??? Why not make her an adult from the start?? Especially given her actor is obviously older then a high schooler, like, would have saved so much fucking confusion. Black Widow is still an example to me really- her backstory was ongoing confusion throughout the MCU and when her film finally hit....she suddenly has a family out of the blue and suddenly that kill on her record??? New twist villain, SO SHE DIDN'T KILL HER AT ALL. Oh and don't worry, she got a grave via Yelena.....wait, what do you mean that doesn't fix how Endgame treated Black Widow??? Loki over here also changing shit, aka making Loki think he was responsible for his mothers death when....its a mixed bag: he told them where to go, but he didn't know they'd kill Frigga and even in guidebooks, its mentioned Frigga sacrificed herself to save Jane....still another MCU fridging, but still. You also got how they weakened Loki suddenly in favor of Sylvie, but that's a whole other story really with me and problems with Loki show....

And then you got Hawkeye only NOW deciding to make Clint deaf and alluding to maybe prior incidents in the MCU as the cause....when that's hard to tell as where was his hearing aids during Endgame and crap??? And why only NOW add the netflix characters like Daredevil and Kingpin??? Just wait until they find a way to add mutants though....that's when it'll be a true clusterfuck.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #239: Late Night of the Super-Stars!

January, 1984

1984! Can’t wait to make a bunch of Orwell jokes that are poorly thought out and land poorly!

But I guess it’ll have to wait since we’re on Late Night with David Letterman in this issue.

This sure is an interesting turn of events. Although the team we see on the cover doesn’t seem to be the actually active roster. They’re over in the corner box turned away - either from shame or because they’re off doing their own thing.

Because its Assistant Editors’ Month!

A fun-sounding non-event. Although, looking it up, very few books that were considered part of the event actually did anything with it beyond a slightly goofy issue box on the cover.

So we’re going to see some Avengers go on a talk show today.

Superheroes as celebrities! What a novel idea.

Anyway, I learned an interesting detail about the cover that would have totally missed me. The checkerboard strip at the top was a hallmark of DC comics around this time. And the round MC logo in the top right is an obvious spoof of the DC logo from this time.

It’s not much more than a goof for this book but the Captain America book released for Assistant Editors’ Month also had the checkerboard and logo and was a style parody of DC comics.

Last times: Vision went into a robo-coma from walking into an invisible dome created by Annihilus and only recently recovered the ability to talk. New Avenger Starfox hooked Vision up to ISAAC the Titan computer and overclocked Vision’s robot brain so now he can project himself as a hologram and has an even faster computer brain. At the end of Avengers #238, the Avengers got a call from Tigra about some nonsense going on in San Francisco involving Spider-Woman.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye got a whole miniseries all to himself where he met Mockingbird, lost his job at Cross Technological, his girlfriend revealed that she was paid to date him and also hated him, he teamed up with Mockingbird to uncover an evil scheme by Crossfire to kill all superheroes, Hawkeye lost his hearing by putting an ultrasonic arrowhead in his mouth but foiled the scheme plot, and married Mockingbird. He’s had a very busy week or so!

This time: Hawkeye comes back to the Avengers Mansion to show off his cool new wife.

Hawkeye: “Hey, everybody -- your wanderin’ boy Hawkeye has come home... And you’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done!”

I can just imagine Mockingbird replying “Me” with the biggest shit-eating grin. She feels the sort to do that.

When Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive there’s no one to greet them except the floating disembodied hologram head of the Wizard of Vizh.

Hawkeye has also made the decision, for some reason, to not wear the hearing aid that Mockingbird got him so he can’t hear what Vision is saying when he compliments his new costume.

Mockingbird introduces herself for Hawkeye and Vision tells the two to join him in the medical labs so they can catch up.

When they arrive, Vision raises his volume so Hawkeye can hear and recaps everything that’s happened to lead up to him becoming a robot in a tube who can hologram around.

Vision: “[Starfox] set up a direct link between ISAAC, the world-computer of Titan, to better diagnose my condition. But, instead, my brain became overloaded with ISAAC’s energy-information matrix --!”

Hawkeye: “And you became several with the universe, right?”

Vision: “‘Several with the’ --? Oh -- hah-ha! Very witty!”

Overclocking his brain seems to have done wonders for Vision’s sense of humor.

He even finds Hawkeye funny now.

Vision also explains where the dickens everyone else is (because Hawkeye asks him where the dickens they are. Its so weird for Hawkeye to say dickens).

Jarvis was given the day off to visit his mother, Captain America and Thor are both busy with nonsense in their own books, and the rest of the Avengers are off to San Francisco because of that call from Tigra.

Hawkeye offers to fly out and give them a hand, which Vision declines since they’ll call if they need help.

Instead he asks Hawkeye how he met Mockingbird and Hawkeye recaps the miniseries in only five panels.

He’s better at this than I am...

Hawkeye: “Anyway, Mockingbird and I had made a pretty good team -- so when it was all over, we ran off and got married!”

Mockingbird: “What can I say? The big lug needed somebody to keep him out of trouble!”

That’s the task of a lifetime, Bobbi. But good for you two! Cute couple is what I say.

Vision: “Marvelous! I hope you two will be as happy together as Wanda and I have been!"

Vision and Scarlet Witch probably are the healthiest superhero marriage of this time.

Vision asks if Hawkeye and Mockingbird intend to stay in the mansion, which they do. But it’s cool because Mockingbird has security clearance from working with SHIELD so they won’t need to bother Mr. Sikorsky and agitate his hatred of living in the superhero genre.

After Hawkeye takes Mockingbird off on a tour of the mansion, Vision receives a call from his brain brother, Wonder Man.

Who, very reluctantly, is coming to the Avengers with hat in hand. So to speak.

Wonder Man: “Okay. Here’s the situation -- my acting career hasn’t been going anywhere lately! So my agent, without my approval -- used the fact that I’m a reserve Avenger to get me a booking on David Letterman’s show, and now, they want me to bring other Avengers along with me! My agent really put me in a tight spot on this one. I hate to impose, but -- !”

Vision: “It’s no imposition at all, Simon! I’ll personally call the network and confirm the Avengers’ appearance!”

Wonder Man: “You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

Vision: “None whatsoever! After all, we have many Avengers -- !”

You sure do! Not as many as you’ll have by the No Surrender days. But still.

Also, I love this can-do attitude from you, Vision!

This is a pretty low priority in terms of fighting crime and whatnot but Vision is like THIS IS EXTREMELY DOABLE, I AM THE INTERNET.

Although imagine how sad it is from Wonder Man’s perspective. His agent put him on the spot pulling sorta-rank to get Simon some media attention but the media is like ‘ok but do you have something better?’

This man is trying to improve his career and the David Letterman show looked at him and said ‘ok but what else have you got?’

Oof!

Anyway, Vision uses the superpower of being wired into the phone system to call up some extra Avengers who aren’t very busy right now.

He calls Black Panther, Beast, and Black Widow.

Their varied responses are pretty funny.

But Black Panther’s is probably the best. He interrupts a meeting with his advisers to take the call and then he’s like ‘yeah sure I can drop everything I’m doing to appear on David Letterman!’

T’Challa really would rather be doing anything but kinging.

Beast initially protests that he’s too busy with the Defenders to just jump on some Avengers business but...

Beast: “The Letterman show? Hey, why didn’t you say so?”

And Black Widow is unbusy sunbathing at the Waldorf Towers while between missions. She doesn’t really want to make a television appearance (it’s kinda counterproductive for a spy, I would guess) but Vision mentions something that has Natasha agree to be there.

Based on what happens later, I guess Vision mentions that Hawkeye will be there.

A couple hours later, ELSEWHERE, well if it isn’t our ol’ friend and punchline Fabian Stankowicz!

Remember this goofus? He attacked the Avengers right when everyone was feeling bad about Hank Pym? Iron Man easily beat him up while the rest of the Avengers breezed on by. Or when he attacked Wasp’s cool superheroine brunch? Which was a hilariously terrible idea because he got between She-Hulk and breakfast foods. Also, nobody took him very seriously there either.

I guess the Avengers didn’t bother to press charges either time because he’s not in jail. He’s at his home working on some machines while his dad criticizes how he spends his time.

Dads, amirite?

Granted, what he’s criticizing is Fabian’s tendency to pick fights with superheroes. And... granted. Not a great use of his time.

But apparently Fabian can afford all the robot suits he keeps attacking the Avengers with because he won the lottery.

So he has a pretty good position to shoot down his dad’s protests, really.

Dad Stankowicz: “Fabian, I’m glad your poor mother didn’t live to see what’s become of you... It would’ve broken her heart!”

Fabian Stankowicz: “Aw, gimme a break, old man!”

Dad Stankowicz: “‘Old man’? This is the way you talk to your father?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “What do you want, egg in your beer? Was it you who won the state lottery and got us out of the Bronx? No, it was me! I won the money, and I’ll say how it’s spent! And I’m gonna use it to make a name for myself! Me... Fabian Stankowicz!”

And when Fabian sees an ad saying that the Avengers will be on Late Night with David Letterman, he has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Also, who the heck puts egg in beer?

I’ve looked it up and I get that it’s a saying but apparently the saying is based on people actually doing that! Why??

The next afternoon, at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where the show 30 Rock and this issue of Avengers both happen, this issue of Avengers is happening.

A CBS page shows Black Widow to the green room where the other Avengers are already waiting.

Also: I know that it’s all the Avengers who weren’t busy (even though T’Challa really should have been?) but this is a fun roster.

Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Beast, Black Widow and Panther?

Heck, I could imagine this being the Marvel equivalent of the Justice League International team, one more geared for some light-hearted comedy?

Except we’re in 1984 so this predates that.

But you have Beast and Wonder Man, your comedy duo best buds. You have Black Panther and Widow being varying levels of straight man to the nonsense. And you have Hawkeye who can be very serious or very ridiculous depending on how hot-headed he’s being at the time.

This team could be hilarious!

(Avengers International. Think about it, Marvel.)

Outside the green room, our ol’ buddy ol’ punching bag, Fabian Stankowicz is in disguise as a repairman with a mustache as cover for installing some devices in the studio. Then he puts on a beard to disguise himself as Perfectly Normal Bearded Audience Member.

I appreciate his intiative although I doubt any of the present Avengers are gonna recognize this guy on sight even if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Fabian Stankowicz.”

Fabian Stankowicz: Boy, this is gonna be so sweet, especially after the way the Avengers made me look like a chump those last two times! This time, it’s gonna be different! This time, I’m going to have a ringside seat for the defeat of the Avengers!

Or at least the Avengers that were available to show up on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.

Y’know, I like Fabian Stankowicz. He’s just smart enough to be dangerous and dumb enough to be entertaining. I think there’s a place for an ineffectual doofus with delusions of grandeur in the foe Rolodex of any superhero team.

Meanwhile, back with said Whoever Was Availables, Black Widow and Mockingbird are meeting for the first time.

And luckily, they’re both mature adults who don’t act like you’d usually see in media when the missus meets the ex.

So with a fight to the death NOT happening in the green room, Hawkeye gets to asking Mockingbird about the errand he sent her on which was why she wasn’t in the room when Black Widow first showed up.

Presumably using every bit of skill in espionage at her disposal, Mockingbird got a copy of the questions Letterman will be asking during the show.

Because Hawkeye will be fielding the questions and he has made the decision not to wear his hearing aid. And has also made the follow-up decision that not only will he not be hearing anything tonight, he’s also definitely going to be fielding all the questions.

Mockingbird: “Why won’t you wear a hearing aid?”

Hawkeye: “No can do, sweetheart! The fewer people who know I’m half-deaf, the safer it’ll be for all of us!”

(I don’t really get this reasoning but okay, man)

Mockingbird: “Then why not let someone else be spokesman? This is supposed to be Wonder Man’s big night!”

Hawkeye: “Sure... but I’m the only active Avenger here! Give me a kiss for luck!”

Not for nothing does Mockingbird think that he can be impossible sometimes. And she’s only known him a couple weeks! She’s already come to the correct read on him in that short a time.

David Letterman starts the show with an opening monologue.

David Letterman: “Tonight... What can I say? Tonight is something really special! In fact, it’s probably the most special show we’ve had since our 'camping with Barry White’ program! Yes... hard to believe, isn’t it? But with all due respect to Mr. White -- I think that this show may be our greatest ever. But, as they say, ‘that’s for history to decide!’”

Imagine being a talk show host and getting to introduce the Avengers. Pretty neat.

I like that bandleader Paul Shaffer is wearing a Captain America jersey. Although that makes me wonder once again what merchandising is like for Marvel superheroes. 

Clearly it exists but did Cap sign off on a jersey mimicking his costume? Does he see any money from that? Or at least did he get to say that all profit goes to such and such charity?

Letterman introduces the Avengers for the audience.

(Fun how you can get a sense of their personality just by how they’re sitting. It’s the little touches that make a comic fun.)

Hm, I wonder how well the marvel public follows superhero roster changes.

I know that sometimes new Avengers rosters have gotten attention with press conferences and everything. And sometimes they just swap in and out members as personal business comes up.

Some of the people in the audience may not even recognize Black Widow as an Avenger. Becaaaaause, wait I don’t think she ever was one. She’s assisted on some missions and they were ready to vote her in when she vanished to go do a SHIELD mission.

Okay, better example, does anyone remember that Wonder Man- oh wait, he very publicly burst out of a crate in front of Avengers Mansion during press furor over a roster change. Also, he’s a pre-successful actor.

Black Pan- no, no. He was framed for killing the Avengers his very first day on the team. There was a manhunt.

And of course, everyone knows Beast was on the Avengers. He got around. Romantically.

David Letterman mentions that this group isn’t even all the Avengers because some couldn’t make it (read: were busy with more important things).

Which leads to a funny cut to audience where Beard Fabian is annoyed that this group is who got caught in his revenge scheme.

Fabian Stankowicz: Blast it, where’s Captain America? Where’s that &#%$ She-Hulk?

You better wash your brain out with soap before She-Hulk finds out you thought  that about her. She’s dunked people into the garbage for lesser offenses.

Beast decides that this Late Night interview is the best time to reveal that he’s quitting as a reservist Avenger to focus on his version of the Defenders.

Letterman: “Wow, that was some bombshell the Beast just dropped, Hawkeye! You’re group spokesman... What do you think of that?”

Hawkeye: First question -- ! “Well, David, the Avengers is a non-profit organization, fully sanctioned as a peace-keeping force by just about ever international organization you could think of!”

Letterman: “Eh-heh-heh! You don’t say!”

Oh god, Beast’s bombshell messed up the order of questions and Hawkeye is firmly sticking to script because he can’t hear.

My god, Hawkeye.

Letterman: “You know, I was just about to ask you something along those lines. You wouldn’t be psychic by any chance -- ?”

Hawkeye: “No, of the founding members, only the Wasp and Thor remain as active Avengers.”

Letterman: “You little dickens! You’ve been peeking at my question sheet, haven’t you? All right, I might as well as my next question which is... ‘I hear you were recently married! Is that true?’”

Hawkeye: “Yes, Dave... just a few weeks ago!”

Letterman: “How about that!”

Did Hawkeye just think they were going to blaze through the questions? Even if Beast hadn’t preempted the first question, did Hawkeye think that there would be no follow-up questions? No discussion?

I’ve been on the fence on whether the jokes about Hawkeye not hearing the questions are poking fun at deaf people or at Hawkeye and yeah, Hawkeye is definitely the butt of this joke.

Fabian Stankowicz loses patience for this very dry question and answer session and decides to start his attack nnnnow.

One of the studio cameras is secretly A GIANT LASER. Because. And it blasts the stage.

Mockingbird is watching this on a tiny screen in the Green Room and goes out to help only to run afoul of some kind of mechanized steamrolling dumpster.

Back in the studio, Wonder Man has found his new nemesis.

Move over, Grim Reaper. You’re one-dimensional and everyone especially me hates you. Hello, laser blasting camera.

Wonder Man: “Let me at that thing, Beast! It’s ruining my guest-shot!”

Beast: “You’ll have to wait your turn, Wondy! It just shredded my favorite shirt!”

Priorities!

You know, this was supposed to be about Wonder Man and he only got to say two words during the interview portion.

Dangit, Hawkeye.

Apppppparently, the audience is just assuming that this is all part of the show. A cliche, sure. But it makes sense.

Would you really have the Avengers on a talk show and just have them talk? That’s a waste of perfectly good superheroes.

Also.... apparently? David Letterman used to run things over with a steamroller a lot? So a steamroller looking contraption crashing through the wall to attack the Avengers does seem like something that might happen?

Also, Paul Shaffer decides to just roll with it so as not to panic the audience.

The show must go on, after all.

The steamroller also starts firing missiles at Beast, as ya do.

Beast: “Hunter missiles? I don’t believe this is happening on network tv!”

Wonder Man tries punching the steamroller to no avail but which does give Black Panther a chance to pull out the tried and true “Wonder Man’s fists carry as much bludgeoning power as Thor’s hammer!”

Y’know, originally, that was a flex that set Wonder Man as a threat to the team but after he joined, that never really seemed to actually be the case.

Imagine if Wonder Man always hit as hard as Thor’s hammer? Like, he’s minding his own business and then the Gorr the God Butcher arc happens and Wonder Man is like ‘huh, why do I suddenly feel like my punches could destroy planets light years away? That’s a very specific feeling!’

Fabian Stankowicz takes advantage of the spectacle chaos to walk out of the audience, plunk himself down into one of the interview chairs, remove his entirely convincing beard, and introduce himself to David Letterman as the guy who is definitely to blame for all the action setpieces going on.

Letterman, like Paul Shaffer, just decides to roll with it. Humor the guy. Ask him why he’s doing this.

Fabian Stankowicz: “Why? To prove it could be done! To show what one incredibly gifted individual can accomplish...”

Letterman: “... To get your name in the papers?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “That too! After all, the Avengers have battled Zodiac... the Masters of Evil... Doctor Doom! I want to make as big a name for myself as those guys!”

Letterman: “Seems to me that ‘Stankowicz’ is already a pretty big name!”

Badum pish?

He asks Fabian to explain all of his devices and Fabian is happy too.

I mean, he’s being a supervillain for the notoriety and supervillains already love to hear themselves talk so he’s double dipping into the ‘I will exposit everything at the drop of a hat’ well.

And imagine, Fabian built all this stuff in his garage with lottery winnings.

The steamroller thing isn’t just a steamroller, it’s also got a gravity generator. Which, I guess, makes sense if you’re expecting to go against a She-Hulk or a Thor. A regular steamroller isn’t going to do more than annoy.

Wonder Man fighting so hard against the roller makes it increase gravity so much that Simon and steamroller just fall through the floor.

Hm. I wonder what’s filmed in the studios the floor down. They’re about to have an exciting guest star in that steamroller.

Black Widow (still tangling with the laser camera) points Hawkeye towards Fabian. Although she has to shout and Hawkeye still doesn’t really get it but is happy to shoot an arrow at someone that Black Widow is vigorously gesturing at.

Alas, Fabian is one of those prepared villains we’ve been hearing so much about.

He built a force field too, and the arrow just bounces right off.

(Hey, uh, Hawkeye? What kind of arrow was that? Because it looks technological and you just shot it at this guy’s head)

Truly, can nothing stop this insidious yet not very menacing criminal genius?

Oh, I guess David Letterman can.

Knocks him out with a big knob.

It’s just plain big.

Prop comedy, amirite?

The audience seems to love it anyway. I looked up a clip of the big doorknob and it didn’t meet with this much applause. Maybe its because it was used to do violence this time?

Was the giant door knob a beloved part of Late Show lore?

David Letterman: “I guess that’ll teach you not to mess with David Letterman!”

That’s a line with weird energy to it.

Anyway, it would be a sad day for this random assemblage of backup Avengers if they were upstaged completely by David Letterman and his big knob.

Black Widow and Hawkeye finally manage to blow up the laser camera.

I’m not sure why it took them this long. Sure, the camera could apparently move, based on motion lines in previous panels. But the world’s best marksman couldn’t nail it sooner?

But the important thing is that eventually, they did do it.

The floor starts rumbling as well as Wonder Man flies back up with his belt-jets with the trashed roller and a shit-eating grin.

Wonder Man: “Sorry this took so long -- But I guess I’m a little rusty at tackling big hunks of tin like this!”

Fabian Stankowicz: Rusty? It took me a month to design that, and he totaled it in less than five minutes!

But since everyone’s focus is on Wonder Man (for once), Fabian tries to sneak away.

And runs smack dab into Mockingbird who has a lot of justified anger over almost getting run over by the roller earlier. But she just throws him over to some police that have finally shown up.

Letterman tells the audience not to try any of this at home, just in case any of them have gravity-generator osmium steel steamrollers lying around? And cuts to commercial, presumably so that some basic tidying can happen.

Hours after the filming of the show concludes, the Avengers TV Squad have returned to the mansion, with Vision wishing he could have taken part of this assistant editors month special issue.

Vision: “What became of Stankowicz?”

Black Panther: “Well, with all the charges NBC is leveling against him, the only machinery he’ll be dealing with for some time will be in the New York State Prison library!”

So, he attacked Avengers Mansion. He attacked Wasp’s superheroine brunch at the Van Dyne residence. That’s all well and good. He attacks the Avengers again in the NBC studio and the man is going to jail forever.

I guess the Avengers really haven’t been bothering to press charges on Fabian. But a massive media corporation isn’t so kind.

Since Hawkeye is technically the active Avenger (even though Vision’s hologram head is RIGHT there) he has to follow up on the thing Beast said about quitting the Avengers reservists.

Beast says its not right for him to be an Avengers reservist if he’s also trying to turn “the Defenders into a for-real group!”

Uh, Defenders fans? Wasn’t the appeal of the Defenders them being the not-team team? How did people feel about Beast going ‘ok but what if they were more like other teams instead?’

Meanwhile, Wonder Man is pacing, waiting for the Late Show to come on so he can see how he did when WOMP WOMP the show is interrupted by a special news bulletin.

Wonder Man is aghast that his big break isn’t even airing but when the special news bulletin is about a burning chemical barge, his hero instincts that he has suddenly swell up.

Wonder Man: “This... This is awful! What’re we standing around for? Let’s do something! We’re Avengers, aren’t we?”

Black Panther: “That we are, Simon! Let’s go!”

Beast also decides, hey, one more time won’t hurt and accepts his Avengers ID card back from Hawkeye.

And as they’re headed off to the Quinjet, Beast has a hopeful note for Wonder Man.

Beast: “Hey, Wondy -- remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts! If we can get this mess cleaned up in time, maybe some folks in California will still see you get your big break!”

Wonder Man: “And if we don’t -- ?”

Beast: “Well, that’s show biz!”

Pretty enjoyable issue! Like, sure, its a good for Assistant Editor’s Month. But if you’re going to do a goof, then you can do worse than bringing back Fabian Stankowicz for a third time’s not the charm.

Speaking of charm, having the Avengers appear on a talk show is a charming concept. Not a whole lot was done with it except the joke about Hawkeye answering the wrong questions but its still a fun idea.

And having the Avengers off busy lets us brush off some Also Avengers that haven’t been in play for a bit. That’s a fun idea that I wouldn’t mind seeing some more.

Have the reservists called in because of a situation happening when the Avengers are already busy.

Heck, I’d like to see a situation where the silliest and least regarded Avengers are the only ones available to respond to an emergency. Have them bounce off each other as a group. Maybe they’re mutually aware of their bad reputations.

Anyway, I expected this issue would be ridiculous but it was also enjoyable. Didn’t mind it at all. And (though by a different writer) the Hawkeye miniseries was very enjoyable too.

This is just feeling like a good era for the Avengers team.

Next time, apparently The Ghost of Jessica Drew. So she’s some kind of ghost spider? Nobody tell Carol Danvers.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I typed this post partially while a cat was lying on my wrist. That’s dedication. Which you can’t spell without cat. Also, like and reblog if you think its likeable and rebloggable.

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We Are Continuing Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe...

By Talking About The First Sequel To The Massive Blockbuster Known As The Avengers, Avengers: Age Of Ultron...

This Film Sees Earth's Mightiest Heroes Reuniting To Battle A Threat Created By Tony Stark And Bruce Banner Called Ultron, Who Is Out To Create What He Believes To Be The Peace Of Our Time When Really He's Causing Massive Human Extinction....

Will The Avengers Be Able To Prevent The Age Of Ultron With The Help Of Enemies Quicksilver And Scarlet Witch And A New Ally Who Calls Himself The Vision?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Avengers: Age Of Ultron...

The Film Starts In Sokovia With The Avengers Launching An Attack On Baron Von Strucker's Fortress And Forces...

(End At 4:30)

(End At 4:25)

Searching Strucker's Secret Room, Tony Finds One Of The Chitauri's Leviathans Before He Finds Loki's Scepter But Before He Can Grab It He's Blasted By The Other Olsen Twin Who Gives Him A Vision Of The Avengers Failing To Save Earth Because He Failed...

And It's This Vision That Changes Tony Completely And Makes Tony Believe Every Decision He Makes From Here On Out Is The Right One Even Though To Others It May Seem Like The Wrong Choice...

As Kick Ass Zooms In We Get A Title Card As Tony Grabs The Scepter...

Returning To The Newly Dubbed Avengers Tower, Hill (Who Now Works For Tony After The Downfall Of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Tells Cap About Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver While Hawkeye Gets Healed And Tony's Iron Legion Returns From Sokovia...

But As All That Goes On Tony (With Help From J.A.R.V.I.S.) Analyze Loki's Staff And Discover That While The Scepter Is Alien, The Jewel Is Housing Something Inside That's Like A Computer As J.A.R.V.I.S. Discovers Code...

Telling Banner This By Showing Him The Data Of The Jewel, Tony Thinks That It Is Perfect For His Ultron Program That Tony Is Making For His Iron Legion And Asks For Bruce's Help With It.

Despite Being Against It At First And Wanting To Tell The Rest Of The Team, Bruce Eventually Caves And Decides To Help Tony While They Have The Staff For The Alotted 3 Days That Thor Is Allowing Them To Have...

As Tony And Banner Get Ready For A Party Tony Is Throwing In Honor Of The Avengers Defeat Of Strucker, The Ultron Integration To The Iron Legion Is Complete. But As Ultron Awakens, He Questions His Programming Which Leads To Ultron Malfunctioning And Using Advanced A.I. Abilities To Kill J.A.R.V.I.S. As He Creates A Body Out Of One Of The Iron Legion Armors

Meanwhile, At Tony's Party Everyone Seems To Be Having A Good Time Even The Avengers Themselves, Rhodey (Who's Back As War Machine From Now On)

Guess Iron Patriot Didn't Well With Focus Groups After All...

Sam (Who's Been Helping Cap Track Down Bucky Since The End Of Winter Solider) And Stan Lee Who's Cameo Is Here...

Stan Lee Cameo!

Anyway After Everyone Is Gone The Avengers Along With Rhodey And Maria Hill They Hold A Contest Of Who Could Lift Thor's Hammer With Cap Being The Closest Only To Be Interrupted By Ultron, Who Reveals He Is On A Mission To Destroy The Avengers With The Help Of Stark's Iron Legion...

Escaping Through The Internet, Ultron Goes To Strucker's Castle Where He Can Build Himself A New Body...

With Everything Gone From Their Computers And Loki's Staff Gone As Well, They Discover The Computerized Remains Of J.A.R.V.I.S. As The Team Worries About Ultron Hacking Into Nuke Codes....

Knowing That They Have To Not Only Get The Scepter Back But Stop Ultron, They Ask Tony Why Ultron Is Trying To Kill Them And Of Course It All Goes Back To The Battle With The Chitauri And Tony's Vision That Scarlet Witch Gave Him...

Speaking Of Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver, In Sokovia, Ultron In A New Body Recruits Them To Help With His Plans To Save The World By Getting Rid Of The Avengers As We Discover Why Scarlet Witch Let Tony Have The Scepter Which Is Because She Saw Tony's Fear And That It Would Control Him And Make Him Self Destruct...

Uh, Self Destruct On Him? How About Self Destruct On You Or Do The Words Civil War Not Mean Anything To You, Wanda?

And Why They Are Who They Are And That's Because They Believe Tony Stark Killed Their Parents As One Of His Companies Missiles Killed Their Folks And Nearly Killed Them As They Were Buried Under Rubble...

Discovering Reports Of A Metal Man Or Men, Someone Making People See Old Fears And Memories And Someone Too Fast To See Breaking Into Robotics Labs, Weapons Facilities And Jet Propulsion Labs All Over The Globe, The Avengers Continue Their Search For Ultron...

But When Strucker Is Found Dead In His Cell With The Word Peace Written In Blood, They Start Going Through Hard Copy Files When Everything They Had On Strucker Is Gone From Their Computers...

Eventually Tony Discovers That Someone He Once Knew Named Ulysses Klaw With Connections To The Home Of A Certain Black Panther And The Vibranium That Not Only Powers His Suit But Captain America's Shield...

Traveling To Africa, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch And Ultron Do Buisness With Ulysses Klaw (Played By Supreme Leader Snoke) To Get Vibranium Only For Ultron To Cut Of Klaw's Hand When Ultron Says Something That Tony Stark Once Said To Him...

Ooh, Foreshadowing....

(Start At 1:10)

Blasted By Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Cap And Thor Have Visions We Start Black Widow Who Sees Visions Of Her Time In The Red Room (Which Is The Black Widow Training Ground) Then Move On To Cap Who Is At A 1930s Dance Hall Where He Dances With Peggy Only To Have A Symbolic Moment, I Guess Which Has Him Realizing That Everyone He Cared For Back Then Is Gone...

And Finally Thor Who Sees That Asgard Has Turned Into Christian Grey's Playground Only To Be Confronted By Heimdall Who Sees That Thor Will Lead Them Into Hell And He Will Destroy Them (Which Obviously Isn't True)...

Anyway Aside From Those Moments Of Either Foreshadowing Or Just Scenes That Have No Reason To Be In This Movie, Tony Eventually Destroys The Version Of Ultron That's There Only To Now Deal With A Rampaging Hulk That Scarlet Witch Has Turned Loose On The City Which Forces Tony To Activate The Hulkbuster Suit To Take Him Down...

(Start At 0:30, End At 4:50)

With Banner Calmed Down, The Avengers Decide To Lay Low As Hill Deals With The Press And The Police On The Attack In Africa But The Question Now Is Where Do They Go?, Luckily, Hawkeye May Have The Answer They're Looking For...

Taking Them To A Rustic Farm (That Looks Like It May Already Be Occupied By The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, April O'Neil And Casey Jones) Hawkeye Introduces The Team To His Family...

Wow, I Didn't Know Velma Dinkley Was Married To A Superhero....

While Ultron, Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver Visit The Team Doctor, Helen Cho In Seoul So She Can Create A Living Body Into A Reanimation Cradle That Her And Tony Have Been Developing For Ultron To Download His Consciousness Into, Refusing, Ultron Decides To Convince Helen To Help Him Using Loki's Scepter...

Back On The Farm, The Team Has Some Moments On The Farm Which Eventually Lead To Tony Talking With Nick Fury In The Barn, Who Aside From Telling Tony To Cut It Out With The Maximoff Vision Crap, Is There To Help The Team...

Telling The Team That Ultron Isn't Having Any Luck Getting Nuke Launch Codes As They're Changed Frequently By Unknown Sources And That His Contacts Believe That Ultron Is Actually Building Something Which Leads Banner To Realize That Ultron Is Trying To Evolve Above Humans As He Believes Humans Are Significantly Insufficient Hence Helen Cho...

And Speaking Of Dr. Cho, She Is Just About Done With Ultron's New Body Only Thing That Needs To Be Added Is The Stone From Loki's Scepter Which Is Revealed To Be The Mind Stone...

With Steve Taking Natasha And Clint With Him, Tony Heads To Oslo To Do Reconnaissance From There While Fury Takes Banner Back To Avengers Tower So He Can Pick Up Hill Who Will Help Him With Something Dramatic...

But You're Probably Wondering Where Thor Is...

Well, Unable To Get Scarlet Witch's Vision From His Mind Thor Decides To Take Off To Get Erik Selvig To Take Him To The Spa Of Sight That Will Allow Him To Re-Enter His Dream To Find Out What He Missed...

Uh, Unless You're Into Weird Fetishes, Thor I Highly Doubt You Missed Anything...

But Miss Something He Did, As It Shows All The Infinity Stones Except For The Time Stone And I Guess Ultron's Plan...

And Speaking Of Ultron's Plan, Wanda Looks Into The Mind Of The Body That Is Inside Of The Reanimation Cradle And Sees Ultron's Ultimate Plan To Destroy The World...

Believing That Ultron Lied To Them, Wanda Snaps Dr. Cho Out Of Her Mind Stone Hypnosis And She Stops The Download Which Forces Ultron To Kill Her And Her Team As The Maximoffs Escape...

As Cap, Hawkeye And Widow Arrive With Enough Time To Save Dr. Cho, Ultron And His Metal Minions Take The Reanimation Cradle Onto A Truck Only For Hawkeye To Spot It From Above So Cap Can Jump On It And Fight Ultron...

With The Help Of The Maximoff Twins, Cap Was Able To Stop Ultron And Save A Runaway Train While Widow Gets The Reanimation Cradle On The Quinjet With Hawkeye Only For Widow To Get Captured By Ultron's Minions

Talking With The Maximoffs Afterward, They Ask Where The Reanimation Cradle Is Only For Cap To Tell Them That It's On It's Way To Tony, Which Leads Wanda To Believe That He Will Only Make Matters Worse By Using It To Fix Things

And Right She Is, As Tony To Convince Banner To Help Him Place The Person Who Has Been Beating Ultron All Along Into The Reanimation Cradle, J.A.R.V.I.S

Turns Ultron Didn't Attack J.A.R.V.I.S. Because He Was Scared But Attacked Him Because He Was Afraid Of What He Could Do, So He Went Underground And Scattered His Memory Throughout The Net To Try To Stop Ultron...

Believing That After All That's Happened It's A Bad Idea, Banner Decides To Do It Anyway. Luckily, Cap And The Maximoff Twins Arrive To Stop Them Which Leads To A Heated Argument Of Right And Wrong Between The Team Until Thor Arrives To Get Everyone To Shut Up And Bring The Body In The Reanimation Cradle To Life...

Forming Clothes And A Cape Out Of It's Skin, Thor Tells The Others About His Vision And That Tony Is Right The Avengers Cannot Beat Ultron Not Alone...

Telling Cap And The Others That Unlike Ultron He Is On The Side Of Life Where Ultron Isn't And That He Doesn't Want To Kill Him But The Pain He Is Creating Will Roll Over The Earth If He Isn't Destroyed Which Kind Of Gets Them To Trust Them...

But None Of That Matters Now As Barton Has Located Ultron With Nat In Sokovia And Need To Go Now...

With Tony Downloading A New A.I. Named F.R.I.D.A.Y. To His Suit And Ultron Knowing That They're Coming The Odds Are Stacked Against Them So, The Priority Will Be The Evacuation Of The City While Discovering What Ultron Has Been Building At Strucker's Fortress And Saving Black Widow At The Same Time Which Banner Does Only So They Could Run Afterward...

But Knowing That She'll Be Unable To Live With Herself If That Happens, Widow Pushes Banner Down A Hole So He Can Become The Hulk...

(Imitating Baby Plucky) Hulk Go Down The Hole!

On Board The Quinjet, The Hulk Gets A Call From Black Widow Asking Him To Turn Back But Instead He Decides To Go Off On His Own To Take A Nice Vacation In Sakkar As Vision Destroys The Last Ultron Minion, Destroying Ultron Once And For All...

And With Everything Done, Hawkeye Decides To Retire From The Avengers To Spend Time With His Family While Tony Builds A New Training Facility/Alternate HQ For The Avengers Where They Can Train...

But Unfortunately It's Going To Have To Be Without Thor (Who Is Going Off To Solve The Mystery Of Who Is Making The Infinity Stones Appear Out Of Nowhere) And Tony (Who Is Going Spend More Time With Pepper And Build Her A Log Cabin) But Just Because The Team Is Down A Few Members It Doesn't Mean That They'll Be Short On Team Members....

Nope, Not On Your Life As Scarlet Witch, The Vision, Falcon And War Machine Join The Team As New Avengers...

Sadly, There's No End Credit Scene But There Is A Mid Credits Scene Which Sees Thanos Grabbing The Infinity Gauntlet And Deciding To Take Matters Into His Own Hands...

And That's Avengers: Age Of Ultron And...It's Okay...

While The Action Scenes Are Great, The Villain Is Good And There Is Loads Of Character Development Throughout The Movie, The Color In Some Of Those Fight Scenes Are Not Good Especially The Ones In Africa, Having Both Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver As Bad Guys Was Completely Pointless (Yes, I Know In Their Comic Book History They Were Bad Guys Before They Became Good Guys But Without Magneto And The Brotherhood That Part In Their History Is Pointless)...

There Are More Reasons Why I Don't Like This Movie But I Feel Like I've Been Writing This Review Forever And I Just Want To End It Also I Can't Think Of Any Other Reasons Right Now So, For This One I Would Say Skip It But I Honestly Don't Know If It's That Bad To Skip So I'll Leave This One Up To You Guys....

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[mantra4ia]

My Top/Bottom “10″ Moments of Avengers: Endgame [Spoilers Ahead]

In no particular rank…

The Good and the Legendary Moments (I had a hard time limiting it to 10, clearly there are more)

Cap’s “don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone” and Bucky’s reprise “How can I? You’e taking all the stupid with you…I’m gonna miss you.” He knows his friend well enough through all the years that he understands and accepts (and in that second, we do too) that Cap’s not coming back the fast way, that he’s chosen the slow path to the end of the line.

Sam inheriting the Shield from Rogers with Bucky’s blessing, “go to him.” Because Bucky knows that, even though they are the best of friends and fellow supersoldiers, Sam has kept an eye on Steve while Bucky was MIA, and that puts him in a reasonable position to inherit the mantle.

Post-snap “5 years later” we see Steve taking up Sam’s role as a group counselor, our first hint at the transition of roles later to come, capped off with Sam emerging from the portal with a timely “on your left.”

Hawkeye’s opening: the very real, personal, character driven moment in which Clint is with his family, and shortly thereafter the snap is dragged out of retirement kicking and screaming.

Tony’s and Stark’s intellectual interactions which began as animosity and conlcuded as a kind of mutual admiration “is this the one we win? / if I tell you, it won’t happen (almost apologetically because Strange knows what is about to happen and is letting it go forward anyway),” culminating with “I am Iron Man” and thunderous applause.

EVERYTHING having to do with Tony’s daughter Morgan. From her interaction with Jon Favreau aka Happy about cheeseburgers, to finding her dad’s suit mask, to Stark calculating time-travel while doing the dishes, then swearing, then swearing Morgan to secrecy, and most heartrendingly “I love you 3000.” Tony’s father-daughter relationship is one of those key character pieces that elevates this whole film from a Marvel capstone to a best picture.

Steve’s moment watching Peggy even though he never interacts with her, in 70s at the Pymm/Stark research facility. It’s the most poignant foreshadow of his destination to come. He doesn’t make that mistake twice.

Natasha’s character development. Five years later, even as she falls apart spinning her wheels about deep sea tectonic quakes, and she still cuts her peanut butter sandwich corner to corner as if daring “Nick” Fury to unsnap himself and say “no, let me show you how it’s done.” Two great insights into the depth of their familial relationship courtesy of the Captain Marvel film. Also a shout-out Steve’s subsequent offer to cook Nat dinner. Steve and Nat always carry great character moments, all the way back to CA:WS when she was setting him up on dates.

The small moments of battlefield humor that were just enough not to break the moment: Steve calling out to Parker “Hey Queens,” Peter engaging the Spidey suit kill mode and then him curled up in the fetal position, Wong’s deadpan “were you expecting more?” Jesus, just give Wong an entire act in the next Doctor Strange movie and I will be happy. I adore him. PS: what a pleasant surprise the way the Russos put Tilda Swinton in as Sorcerer Supreme opposite Banner. That was just the right character for the exposition on the perils of altered reality.

The overarching theme of premonitions as it deals with crossing through the quantum realm into the past, and the ensuing parallels from what we’ve already seen in the Marvel past. Specifically the ‘premonitions’ that past-Nebula had when future Nebula past through time and how they could access each others memories, which puts the interesting and poetic possibility that Tony’s dreams/visions this whole time (ex: Infinity War’s “[Pepper] we had a kid, it was so real”) were never a direct result of Thanos, but rather his travel through time. The Time Travel element also relates to parallels where Howard Stark meets “Howard Potts” and the potshots at his questionable beard. Tony meets Stark Sr. at the exact right moment when Maria is expecting and they relate to the perils and joys of fatherhood: “there’s no manual for this/ there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this kid / you did your best”, which sets up Howard’s video journal to Tony and Tony’s post-battle video journal to Morgan as even more powerful together, in the context of each other, then when we saw the original Iron Man films. Endgame brings new depth / meaning to those historic moments.

Honorable mention to Thor who, after the “I aimed for the head” reprise, developed a sense of crippling anxiety and notable weight gain within his depressive reclusiveness, and still managed to suit up and be a hero anyway. While I didn’t necessarily like the fact that Thor dealt with his PTSD through hardcore gaming, I like the direction that the Russo’s steered him after subsequently calling him an “Angel Pirate” in Infinity War. The message, by contrast, that you don’t have to look a certain way, or step into the role that everyone expects of you (King of Asgard), or even have your shit together to be heroic - you just have to step your foot out of the door and face the day - is damn brilliant.

Honorable mention #2: Rocket’s speech to Thor “you’re not the only person to have ever lost someone.” Great BroTP, with tha dash of crossover Whovian.

Honorable trifecta: Steve Rogers wielding the Mjolnir and FINALLY. FIN-A-LLY “Avengers: Assemble!” What great standing ovation moments.

OVERALL: What this film misses in building the tension (it cycles down before it revs up), it makes up for by setting up the small, poignant character moments that show off the emotional talent of these actors in a way that I’ve never seen with this impact before: Infinity War, Black Panther, and Civil War being the runners up.

The Disappointing:

The “Smart Hulk” / Ant Man “little man” gag didn’t work for me. The autographs, the tacos, the test time travel run. It got stale very quickly.

Speaking of Ant Man, by contrast to Tony and Morgan, Scott Lang’s reunion with his daughter after 5 years didn’t hit the emotional note it was meant to. It make sense how they use Lang as perspective of “what’s going on / fish out of water” to drive the aftermath of the snap home and to introduce quantum science. But out of all the characters, I was probably least invested in him.

The female-led gauntlet scrimmage in the final act across the battlefield felt like more of a “set piece” rather than really earned emotion by comparison to Infinity War’s female tag team (Okoye, Nat, and Wanda) against Proxima, where Nat defends Wanda and says “she’s not alone.”

I didn’t like the script choice of killing the complex, Infinity War version of Thanos so quickly (while it was unexpected and paid off big time for a hot second when Thor’s said “I aimed for the head”) and taking on Past-Thanos. For me, it undermined and underdeveloped the villain. I would have wanted a deeper understanding of “The Garden” and flashbacks to Titan or young Gamora, or even more interaction between him and his daughter present-Nebula, before the war-torn Thanos gets the 1-2 chop, but I understand the choice given time constraints of a three hour film.

Hawkeye’s ronin montage: his revenge against criminals in the post-snap era, “why are you here, why did you get to survive and my family didn’t?” could have had the ability to be powerful, especially considering that Natasha has been keeping tabs on him and didn’t intervene until critical mass. But instead, I feel like it was mishandled, too thematic, it takes your out of the moment like a set piece.I loved Natasha’s bond with Clint up to and after the ronin sequence, it took two characters that I was on the fence with and got me emotionally invested in them as a team, I just hated the montage itself.

No Vision? What?! Hardly even a mention in this film except for Wanda’s wrath when she is resurrected and brings that house down on Thanos, but even then Thanos essentially said “who the heck are you and what did I do to make you mad?” completely taking the steam out of Vision’s fall. Hopefully Phase 4 addresses / fixes that.

No Loki resurrection? At the very least, no past-Loki dialogue?! Come on. I thought for a second, when Loki escaped STRIKE custody in the alternate timeline with the tessaract, that maybe the team had created a and untrimmed time branch (I still think they did, because if Rogers returned the Stone to 1970, it doesn’t fix the later botched attempt to steal it, so maybe there’s a branch reality where Loki is alive with witty trickster lines and I’ll cling to it). Then I was fooled again when Mjolnir went flying through the air I thought perhaps that Loki Odinson had returned and was worthy to wield it through his selfless sacrifice (I was only momentarily disappointed / awed to see it was Cap instead). Again, Phase 4, give me some help here!

The fact that Black Widow got no proper funeral sendoff, concluding Natasha’s long history of under-use throughout the entire Infinity Saga. Don’t get me wrong: I understand her soul stone sacrifice, and in a way I understand the people who say, “don’t take that away from her, it’s powerful.” It is. She comes from a manipulative, violent background that made her who she is and good at what she does. Throughout her history, she never had family, which she admits: “Red Skull knew my father’s name, that’s more than I ever did.” So it makes the choice more poignant that she built a family around herself and did whatever it took to keep them safe and united. That said, I wasn’t (until this film) necessarily invested in Black Widow like I am the other Avengers characters, but she’s had some great moments with Clint (I still want to see the Budapest mission, and the Iran extraction that Bucky compromised) and Rogers (Endgame: I’ve been telling everyone to move on, but not us. Winter Soldier: their getaway from Hydra-infested SHIELD) and Fury. Which is why I HATE that her only tribute was a bunch of men standing around lamenting over her (while simultaneously being oblivious to the Nebula swap, seemingly incapable of intelligent script development by McFeely and Markus around those two female characters). It would have at least been fitting if they had more regrets “why didn’t we know her better, we were supposed to be her family”, “why didn’t we appreciate her while we could” or her name added to an altered  “fallen” monument. There was no payoff to her chemistry with Bruce, and no final closure with un-dusted Fury to pay his respects, which would have been a small but vastly fitting gesture. WHAT A WASTE. 

Captain Marvel’s use in the film as essentially a ballistic, ship-destroying missile and her anticlimactic Thanos battle. Why use her at all in this film if it’s going to be as a plot device? She could have had potential opposite Thor, and I’ll argue that she should have been Banner’s tag-team person to bring him out of new-Asgard exile. But the Russos and writing team missed that opportunity as well. Danvers’ appearance felt hollow.

The pacing / cycle down of tension post-opening sequence was off-putting to me. I was revved up to level 10 ready to go to 11, but had to dial back down by half (ex: even though I love the montage of Tony and Nebula playing table football, it crawls by comparison to the expectations set right after Infinity War). The tonal shifts between the three acts of Endgame made me feel like I was watching two good films as opposed to the one great, legendary film I was expecting. Perhaps I came in to Endgame too pumped and needed to be more in the moment, because this displaced feeling was very strong on initial viewing, but faded the second time I saw the film.

Honorable mentions: Parts of the alternate reality “time travel” sequence really bothered me: ie the battle of New York (from A1). Hulk smash didn’t work for me, though Hulk “take the stairs” and Stark’s minor cardiac dysrhythmia corrected by Thor’s hammer were funny. Also Cap’s “I found Loki” was priceless. So I guess you have to absorb the disagreeable montages of time alterations to enjoy the good, like Banner and the Sorcerer Supreme, Howard and “Howard.”

Honorable mention #2: This movie did a hell of a job at all the couple / BroTP splitting, WTH! Steve and Sharon never stood a chance, Wanda and Vision, Banner and Natasha, Steve and Bucky, Steve and Sam, Thor and Loki, Gamora and Quill. Dammit, I hope Phase 4 at least patches up a few holes in these ships before sending in the speculated new ensemble of comics characters.

In SUMMARY: as my dislikes wane with time and my likes grow in retrospect with each saga part I rewatch, and each time I revisit A4 in theaters, I think that Avengers: Endgame, while not quite my favorite installment, will stick with me forever. What a decade! And my next great joy will be 10…15…20 years from now, when I get to meet a kid, let’s call her Morgan, who’s never seen an MCU film before and vicariously relive that first joy watching it with them. To the end of the line.

I can’t wait. 

[amethyst-wind-uk]

Just back from watching Avengers: Endgame, and I’m gonna post my thoughts below the break.

Obviously huge spoilers below.

First off, I loved the third act. I think it’s a cinematic masterpiece, but I’m honestly not particularly enamoured of acts 1 & 2. There seemed like there was too much going on, and some very important parts (like Nebula being replaced) didn’t get the screentime they deserved. I thought the Thor parts were done well, as was the comradery between Rhodey-Nebula and Rocket-Thor, but the rest seemed like a lot of busy work that didn’t provide a whole lot of highs and lows. It seemed to run pretty level.

But that’s the negative. I want to talk about the positives:

The final battle was amazing. I loved damn near every second of it. It featured so many of my favourite tropes and approaches:

1) Here Comes The Cavalry - “On your left.” The good guys failed in Infinity War with just one army (Wakanda), so this time they brought that army AND TWO MORE (Asgardians and Wizards). Summed up by the wonderfully delivered line from Steve Rogers.

Big hearty “AVENGERS...” followed by his voice dropping seriously low and quiet for the “...assemble.” Yes.

2) Captain Marvel and Scarlet Witch just taking it to Thanos one-on-one. First is Wanda’s turn, where she just lets loose with her full strength, blasting the hell out of him, ripping away his armour, and just getting catharsis.

Then there’s Carol. Oh yes, oh yes, she is definitely gonna be leading the MCU franchise from this point on. She goes lower tech and just wades in with her fists, overpowering a guy who tossed around the Hulk, and tanking a headbutt without even flinching. Thanos had to literally un-Infinity his gauntlet just to yeet her away (and this was after she’d repeated Steve’s failed attempt to hold back the snap by himself, except she wasn’t even breathing hard when she stopped his fingers from closing).

3) The relay-run with the Macguffin - I love that, one person has it, then gets cornered, so tosses it to an ally, who goes some more distance, gets cornered too, passes it on to the next guy, and so on and so forth. I love that sort of team-effort play. This time it went Hawkeye>Panther (who remembered Clint’s name from Germany)>Spiderman>Captain Marvel. When Carol picked it up, it lead into:

4) Clear The Way - Captain Marvel held it to the end of the run, but got all her ladies running interference for her: Scarlet Witch, Gamora, Nebula, Mantis, Valkyrie, Okoye, Shuri, Wasp, friggin’ RESCUE (I can’t believe they put Rescue in, when the only hint to her MCU existence was a thirty-second scene way back in Iron Man 3 - six years ago, almost to the day), but it was beautiful (I might have forgotten one or two characters here, for which I am ashamed). They all jumped forward to make room for Carol to fly straight to the time machine. I especially loved how they recreated the triple blast from Age Of Ultron but with Rescue, Shuri, and Wanda this time.

5) A Good Final Boss - Thanos, for all his terrible grasp of social science, did not go down easy. He put up a hell of a fight, and it was gripping stuff. He fought and he fought and he fought, fighting strategically and viciously. I liked seeing him at full-effort for the final fight, when he realised that he very much could lose.

~ ~ ~

There are a few other gripes I have (I’d have preferred to have Nebula use the guantlet at the end to fix things, like she did in the comics, but I knew how fond the Russos were of Iron Man going in, so that was never really gonna pan out). And Black Widow kinda got shafted out of a happy ending just because Hawkeye had a wife and kids and she didn’t. Still not exactly sure why Vision wasn’t there at the end, given how many others were revived either. And I found it weird that Adam Warlock never got introduced before this point either. Guy has a long history with Thanos, but he still appears to be sitting in that Sovereign birthing pod. Thanos is gone now, so I wonder when and how they’ll have Adam show up.

Overall, though, I thought it was a good watch. Mostly because of the third act battle and aftermath. It’s an excellent sendoff to the first iteration of the MCU, and a good way to welcome in the second (Captain-Marvel-led) round.

Easily the second-best superhero movie I’ve seen this year (I saw Enter The Spiderverse after Christmas).

Might have been an idea to watch Shazam! before this, because it’s almost certainly not going to stand up. C���est la-vie.

[orderoftheavengers]

Accio War Machine! 

Summary: Gryffindor Prefect, turned into a merman

House: Gryffindor

Species: Merman, formerly human

Blood Status: Pureblood

Broom: Hijacked one of Tony's earlier models

Wand: Rowan, 16 inches, unicorn tail hair

Patronus: Greyhound

Specialty: Flying, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration

Sorting

"Hold the freaking phone," cries out Albus Severus Potter. "So Hawkeye, and original Avenger and Order of the Shield Agent, is in Hufflepuff, and Bucky Barnes, who joined the army and defended dweeb Rogers and held his own under torture multiple times, is also a Hufflepuff, but this generic sidekick is a Gryffindor? What's your logic on that one, Hat?"

The Sorting Hat takes a long swig from its flask of Firewhisky, and clears its throat with a long belch. "My logic, Four-Eyes, is that I sort by defining traits. Hakweye is first and foremost a family guy. Becoming a secret agent takes balls, but he's still not front of the line. He's fighting from a distance. And he's too much of a one-trick pony to be a Ravenclaw. And as for Barnes, he's too much of a freaking cinnamon roll to be anywhere but Hufflepuff. Rhodes on the other hand is first and foremost a soldier--even when there's no war going on."

Green-haired Teddy Lupin throws in, "But he's a flying soldier! He fights from a distance like Hawkeye!"

"But he doesn't get to hide like Hawkeye," the Hat argues. "He's out there in the sky, like an X-Wing pilot, and he's doing that with no special abilities sans his equipment. And if he's in the middle of a drunken civil war, he'll probably pick his side based on his chivalrous duties, rather than his personal feely loyalties. He stands up to his best friend a lot better than most people, and that's including people whose best friend isn't Tony Stark!"

Hawkeye protests, "But I stand up to my friends! ...when....when I'm part of a whole team that's standing up to another team....'kay." He quietly sits down.

"Know what I think?" Rose Potter says. "I think Hufflepuff and Gryffindor are pretty much the same house, except you put all the badasses in Gryffindor and all the fluff-potatoes in Hufflepuff."

"Well aren't you clever," the Hat snaps.

Under the hat, a patient James Rhodes asks flatly, "Can I go to my table now?"

"Yes. You're in Gryffindor. Get lost!"

"Don't mind if I do."

An Unlikely, But Very Necessary Friendship

James Rhodes came from a long line of Gryffindors and Aurors, and was more than eager to carry on the family tradition. By fifth year he was a Prefect, and, due to his superior sense of responsibility and common sense, Head of Gryffindor House (over Cap and Thor!)

Not content to simply fight with Slytherins like Harry Potter, Rhodey took on the Herculean task of befriending and talking sense into the Serpent House's most insufferable and unstable member. (Edit from Tony Stark: "T'hehe, 'member!'") Rhodey wound up becoming a Bloody Baron to Tony Stark's Peeves. As it happened, Tony already had a Gryffindor study partner named Happy Hogan, but even Happy failed to be much more of a yesman to Tony.

An Unlikely, But Very Necessary Ass-Whooping

When Tony began using his broom and wand whist intoxicated, endangering his fans, Pepper tattled to Rhodey. Rhodey, knowing that the Hogwarts adult staff was still as incompetent as it had been for the last thousand years, didn't bother alerting any teachers, and simply hopped onto a table with his wand out, declaring, "Party's over. Tony, get off you're broom, or I'll get up there and knock you off, with your other broom."

Tony slurred at his friend, “Only I can summon any of my brooms!”

Rhodey raised his wand and said flatly, “Accio War Machine.”

“Who the f*ck is War Machi--?” Tony was cut off when the end of the silver broomstick arrowed into his forehead, sending him off his own broom and against the wall.

Rhodey explained from where he hovered aboard War Machine, “I had a chat with this broom a while back, and it likes me better. It’s not a Stark Broom anymore.” "You're dead to me, Mark-2!" Tony slurred, shaking a fist at the silver, bristly traitor. Rhodey ordered calmly, "Give up, and sober up."

“F*ck you!” Tony drunkenly waved his wand at his friend. "I'll shrink that big Black broom of yours, Rhodey! Er.... what's the opposite of 'engorgio?" Rhodey dodged the spell Tony unintentionally set off, which wound up hitting Scott Lang (in ant form) and causing him to grow into an ant large enough to crash through Rosmertta's roof. Rhodey and Tony then dueled. Rhodey won, and Rosmertta threw Tony out of her bar. The two wound up making up, and Rodey felt bad to learn that Tony had thought he was dying at the time of that duel, but Tony still also had to feel bad about endangering other people's lives like that. The two completely got over the fight, and were on speaking terms again and fighting together by the end of the week. When asked what the secret to maintaining a friendship after such a violent fight, Rhodey replied, "There are several factors that come into play. Like, the ass-whooping and scolding being deserved. And leaving the ass-whopped friend in his warm castle, rather than, say, f*ck-freezin Siberia. And apologizing with your own words, instead of syrupy cliches."

"For chrissake, am I EVER gonna live that down?" Steve Rogers screamed. "We were all drunk and high and playing Quidditch with literal Idiot Balls! Galdalf's dick, I saved Vision and Wanda how many times, I called Tony Earth's best defender, and I said 'I am Steve Rogers!' WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU WANT FROM ME? And for your information, every time I shed a tear, a bald eagle DIES!" He then left the Gryffindor commonroom's lobby and made his way up to the boy's dormitory, slamming the door behind him. Cosmetic Magic

While Rhodes was normally great at standing his ground, he did occasionally let Tony talk him into drinking underage. In a drunken confession, Rhodes complained, "I want a cosmetic magic makeover. I'm sick of looking like that dumb stupid tool from 'Crash.'"

Tony nodded. "You wanna look like your own unique person."

"No, I wanna look like the badass guy from 'Crash!'"

Rhodey eventually got his wish, and was literally unrecognizable to everyone until they heard Tony call him "Rhodey." They quickly got used to the new Rhodey though, and soon found the old one waving irritably in older (wizarding) photographs, and flipping "new Rhodey" the bird.

Loss of Legs

During a fiasco Quidditch match, Rhodey took a badly-aimed and drunkenly-worded spell from none other than Vision. No one, even Vision, knows what spell the humanoid Care Bear was attempting to cast, or which one he did end up casting; only that Rhodey was irreversibly transformed into a merman. Tony fretted and angst over his BFF being unable to walk, trying on clamshell bras, combing his hair with silverware, and singing about his collection of "human stuff."

Despite all the bad blood, Rhodey was not bothered at all when Steve Rogers and others apparated into the Gryffindor commonroom. (While Rhodey had graduated, he'd already had a summer internship lined up with the Flying department.) Rhodey had been in the middle of a fireplace phone-call with Professor Thaddeus Ross, the Head and embarrassment of Gryffindor House. Ross said some angry things at the Cap, that no one remembers, because Ross is a tool who no one wastes time listening to. And Rhodey was only happy to see everyone, Cap included, because that horribly mis-managed drunken brawl didn't deserve any more continuity nods than absolutely necessary, as far as Rhodey was concerned.

King T'Challa, on the other hand, Rhodey had a wee bit of bitter sass for.

“It’s too bad I don’t know a Brother with lots of money and influence, from the most advanced wizarding country in the world, in the Mother Land, that just announced they want to share their advanced magic with the rest of the planet! It's too bad there's no king around like that, who could commission his genius little sister to help a Brother get his legs back!”

"Alas, 'tis not that simple," the king sighed."

“WHY THE F*CK NOT?"

"Alas," T'Challa sighed again, and the scene changed.

Wand, Patronus, etc.

Rhodey's wand is Rowan, a very strong European wood associated with defense against malevolent forces, and guiding the lost. Unicorns are quiet, elegant creatures associated with chivalry and royalty, known for both aiding people and whooping their asses clean off. Ditto for his Patronus, the Greyhound. The Patronus's species goes beyond the whole "loyal BFFs are dogs" and Rhodey being tall and skinny; Greyhounds are hunting dogs, that fought with and befriended royalty. They are specifically known for their speed and eyesight, which are both traits of an Air Force member Flyer.  

While Slytherin Tony flies around on Gryffindor colors, Gryffindor Rhodey's broom is a greenish-silver. The two of them enjoy using each other's House colors, to f*ck with people.

A/N: But seriously, why HASN'T Black Panther helped fix Rhodey's paralysis yet?

[mainssouth]

Zombie hunter spidey

#Zombie hunter spidey series#

The Cloak of Levitation, at first glance looks very nice. Hopefully a subtle hint as to what may be coming? To me, what makes this piece so interesting is the fact that the face sculpt looks almost like an artist rendering of what Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, and Toby Maguire would look like mashed together. His eyes and mouth are both painted equally well, with no sign of splotches or misapplication. The paint detail is applied really well, the hair sculpt has depth, but is painted an even brown color throughout. What I really like about this figure though, is the unmasked head sculpt. The masked head sculpt is really nice and the eyes are very reminiscent of John Romita Jr’s work on the character. His web shooters are a silvery color, but with no added detail to them. I am a big fan of the stylized spider logo on his chest and was very pleased to see that the black paint on it was applied evenly and there were no scuffs or scratches in it.Īll of the black details on the costume are clean and the small silver web cartridges around his belt are also applied very neatly. The weblines on his suit are sculpted in, though nice, would have benefitted from being filled in with a line of black paint. The only problem is that the dirt and wear are all on the front of the suit, while his back side is clean. The costume has areas of dirt and wear, giving the appearance that it hasn’t been washed in a while and that Spidey has likely been living in the suit since the outbreak. I am really a fan of how they tweaked the Homecoming Stark suit for this program and the design on the figure looks exceptional. With that being said, let’s discuss how he looks. Review: Marvel Legends What If…? Wave Zombie Hunter Spidey 6 Inch Action Figure Sorry Spidey, no Accessory A for you today. The potential is there, for this to be a great figure, but the execution in accessorizing is a bit lacking. While the two head sculpts are very nice and the cloak is adequate, I guess maybe I’d have liked to have seen at least one webline to go with the figure.Īlso, a set of wall crawling hands would have been a good addition. I like the cloak and I like the fact that it sits on his shoulders and doesn’t port into his back, however, though the bottom is fairly pliable, the top is molded to sit squarely on the shoulders, which limits articulation.ĭoes the number of accessories give him enough credit to earn the first A? Zombie Hunter Spidey comes with a masked and unmasked head sculpt, two pairs of hands, one fisted, one thwipping, and Dr. The real question is… how does he stack up with our Triple A: Accessories, Appearance, and Articulation? Let’s dive in and find out. I really dig the modified look of Peter’s MCU costume, coupled with the animated look to his facial features. Marvel Legends What If…? Zombie Hunter Spidey is a very sharp figure. Unfortunately for them, they arrive to find a destroyed country and a zombified Thanos in possession of almost all the Infinity Stones…. The group also finds T’Challa, the Black Panther, sedated and being used as a food source for Wanda.Īfter realizing what he’s done, Vision sacrifices himself by pulling the mind stone from his body.ĭuring the battle, Bucky and Okoye are killed and Banner reverts to the Hulk to stay behind and fight Maximoff, while the remaining survivors escape, with the Mind Stone, to Wakanda. Instead, they find The Vision who has secretly been luring remaining humans as food for his beloved Wanda Maximoff, herself a victim of the virus. Spidey, Bruce Banner, Ant-Man’s head, Hope Van Dyne, Bucky Barnes, Sharon Carter, Okoye, and Happy Hogan are left with the hope of finding a cure.Īfter losing Carter and Hogan to attacks from zombified Captain America, Falcon, and Hawkeye, with Hope becoming infected, the remaining members are lured escape and continue on, thinking they’ve found a cure. (Very shocked to find them, really or any of the other Legends I found, as they tend to get picked cleaner than bones from a piranha’s meal.įor those of you who haven’t seen the episode, in a nutshell, the Avengers are turned into zombies and pretty much turn nearly the rest of the planet. I happened across this figure and a few others from the wave at my local box store that rhymes with Tall-Cart. I had planned to pre-order the entire wave, but as is oft the case, bills and other pre-orders took precedence. These figures were planned long ago, to coincide as they were released prior to the end of the first season.

#Zombie hunter spidey series#

I confess, I absolutely, thoroughly enjoyed the What If…? Series and cannot wait for season 2.

[staarknaked]

Hello! I have been watching the marvel movies and tv shows for a while now but I’d like to read the comics too. Any idea how to start since there are so many and have been there for so long (as in which comic from what year)? Thank you in advance!

I’m sorry for how long this is, I tried. Once you find where you want tostart, it gets easier to narrow down and follow timelines and full story arcs,sort of, I promise. Also, Wikipedia is your friend. Marvel starting doing a lot of events after CivilWar. You can skip them and just read summaries. Save your sanity. If you have any questions you can msg me off anon too and I can walk you through it because Marvel comics are a shit show I’m so sorry I don’t make the rules.

Projects:

-Civil War (2006-2007): This is on the list because this is where I jumpedinto Avengers comics, and it’s honestly their most iconic events. It has a tonof main titles for multiple characters and is a really good way to get into howthey think and who they are, but it is fucking huge. After reading the core book, the tie ins and theCap/Iron man books are great. Really gives you history and scope of the Marveluniverse and its original players. This will take a while.

-Avengers Disassembled (2004-2005): Probablybigger than civil war? I have the hardcover of this and it is massive. But again, iconic if you wantto do the work and read it. Scarlet Witch is a key player and it pretty coversbackground for a whole variety of previous material. This will also take forever. I have the entirely of it in a hardcover and I’ve only gotten through 2/3rds of it.

- House of M (2005): Wanda Maximoff. Right here. If you want toknow what comics Wanda is like, and why mutants are the way they are in comicsright now, House of M is it. House of M preludes some of the best x-men stuffpost Phoenix era and leads to a ridiculously intense storyline that leads towhere the mutants are now and why they are the way they are. The core book isshort, and good as a one shot, but if you go further it gets crazy.

Movie Characters in Comics

I haven’t readAnt-Man, Black Panther, or Thor solos except for the all-new thor where it’s JaneFoster but they are re-booting Thor in 2018 I think. And I don’t read Dr.Strange, he’s kind of an asshole.

-Black Widow (2014-2015): The art is amazing and Natasha adopts a cat.That’s all you need honestly. Doesn’t tie into the MCU at all but really great.

-Hawkeye (2012-2015): The Clint Barton we deserve tbh. Fraction andAja’s run is iconic and legendary. Also not MCU related but widely recognizedas one of the best comics runs.

-Planet Hulk (2006-2007): One of themore iconic Hulk runs and also where parts of the Hulk’s story in Thor: Ragnarokcame from.

-Scarlet Witch (2015-2017): Really good art, Wanda is trying to fix witchcraft, and it I think goes into a little bit of her backstory with Vision. They are no longer together in comics, but this I think deals with some of the aftermath and gives glimpses into her history. I have it, I haven’t gotten around to reading it.

-Invincible Iron Man: Extremis (2006): Ended up influencinga huge part of the original Iron Man movie, and updates Tony’s everything. Thearmor from this book was the basis for the armor in the MCU.

-All-New All-Different Invincible Iron Man (2015): This is a newerTony Stark, and this line eventual leads to the Riri Williams line I think? It’sa modern take on Tony Stark.

-Captain America: Winter Soldier / Captain America(Vol 5.) (2004-2011): Ed Brubaker is the mastermind behind bringing BuckyBarnes back as the Winter Soldier. This Cap line runs forever, and covers allthe major events of the mid-late 2000’s, including civil war, death of SteveRogers, and Bucky picking up the Shield. Really good run, it’s the only soloCap stuff I’ve read any part of. The Winter Soldier stuff starts in 2005/2006if you want to skip right to it.

-Captain America (2017): Starting atissue # 695, this is Steve’s redemption arc from the clusterfuck that wasMarvel’s Secret Empire. Getting into Cap here and then backtracking would be mysuggestion.

- Guardians of the Galaxy (2013-technically ongoing): this is a pretty long run and was launched whenthe movies started bringing new readers, and it’s really good. It does crossover with the O5 X-men business briefly, but it’s also where they reallyintroduce Angela Odinsdottir, Thor’s kick ass stolen sister.It’s been re-branded a couple of times due to events.

Team Books

-The Ultimate’s: Super Human (2002): The Ultimate’suniverse inspired the movies. It’s a close universe separate from marvel 616,which is the marvel universe where all the other comic recommendations arecoming from. Ultimate’s is grittier, darker, and changes backstories but isstill really really good. Gets weird, and is definitely not close to themovies, but a lot of the inspiration for the movies came from this universe,and you’ll see it if you read it.This is the kick off book, but the Ultimate ‘verse is pretty straight forward.

-Avengers Assemble (2012-2014): This wascreated for the movies. It has the movie team line up, and was meant to be thestepping stone from the fledgling MCU to the Marvel 616 comic verse!

Netflix/Hulu/Marvel TV

-Runaway’s (2003/2017): If you watched the Hulu Runaway adaption, these arethe comics to read. The 2003 run will not have the same characters or romancesas the show though, and the 2017 ones kind of bounce off the original omics andthe show. I’m not the biggest fan of the Runaways but my best friend read themwhen we were younger so I know this by association.

- Jessica Jones: Alias (2001-2004); Jessica Jones (2016): The netlfixshow was based off the Alias comics, and its Bendis and Gaydos back on the 2016run as well, making Jessica one of the most consistently written characters inMarvel. Very similar to the show

-The Defenders (2017): A reboot of the Defenders line to hype the neflixshow. I love danny jess and luke any and every time they interact. Jess andLuke named their kid after danny okay I love anytime these assholes teamup and I believe this is similar to the show as well.

Deadpool + Friends Deadpool is in a lot ofshit. He was in Deadool and Cable in the 90’s and early-mid 2000’s and then therewas a point where everything he was in was shit for a while, and now he runsaround the marvel universe and teams up with everyone from spider-man to thenew wolverine.

-Uncanny X-Force (2010-2012): This one is a wild ride, and only recommended ifyou really liked the Deadpool movie. Wolverine and X-23 with Deadpool and twoothers mutants. Lots of stabbing. Dark. Moral conundrums. Excellent andabsolutely amazing expose of Deadpool’s character and what his morals are like.-Spider-Man/Deadpool (2016-ongoing): I can’t speak for the laterstuff, but the first bit was pretty funny.

New Kids onthe Block These are “new” heroes that were meant to be youngand fresh. They’re fully established now, and definitely worth a look.-Nova (2013-2016): I love Sam. I do. He’s a spazy Hispanic teenagerwith cosmic space powers by accident basically. He’s one of the kids thatkicked off the dad!tony thing in comics. Has appearances by the guardians, anddeals with cosmic space stuff-Invincible Iron Man: Ironheart (2016-ongoing for now): This iswhere Riri Williams takes over the Iron Man title as weird shit happens to TonyStark. Black, 16, smarter than Tony.-Ms. Marvel (2014-ongoing): Kamala is just really sweet honestly,though I’ve only so far gone through the first 2 or 3 trades.

-Spider-Men(2012): Blends the spider-man of 616 with ultimate spider-man and gives areally good jumping point to the Miles Morales as Spider-Man when he comespermanently into the 616 universe.

-Spider-Man(2016-ongoing): Miles as spider-man. He and Nova, and Kamala get mentored by Tony Starkin some of the all new-all different avenger’s books but each also has a solorun.

- Hawkeye(2016-2018): The only Young Avengers to get her own series, Kate Bishop as Hawkeye.Helps keep Clint Barton from dying, pretty great all around. Kate isn’t newsince she came around in 2005 but she was horribly underused until she showedup in Fractions Hawkeye and then got her own solo.

LGBTQ and fucking AWESOME but not MCU related at all:

- Young Avengers (2005) and YA: Children’s Crusade (2011):Children’s crusade has more Wanda, YA is the first teenage superhero group thatalso had one of Marvel’s first gay on panel kisses.

- Angela: Asguard’s Assassin (2014) and Angela: Queen of Hel(2015): a transfriendly lesbian love story with fierce fucking femalecharacters.

- Fearless Defenders (2013): Valkyrie and a ton of kick assmarvel women team up, boot all the men off the Defenders team and then showthem the fuck up also there are Lesbians and Valkyrie is a fucking goddess.

And that’s where I’m going to stop. If you put any of these titlesinto google with the dates, it will show you what you’re looking for! There aresites to read comics for free, and there are programs that you can use to readthem digitally. But honestly, once you find what you like, head to your localcomic book shop (if you have one) and browse their titles. Most places wlilorder things in.

If you’re into X-Men, I can do an X-men specific list, butX-Men aren’t really MCU so I didn’t include them. X-Men is kind of my tried andtrue for marvel though tbh. There are a lot of new X-men series being launchedright now and they just resurrected Jean Grey, so if you want that, let me know,it’s its own list.

[atamascolily]

I've been catching up on the MCU films (well, let's be honest, most of them) in preparation for Spiderman: Homecoming, Black Panther and Avengers: Infinity War, all of which I am excited about after watching numerous tumblr gifs.  (Thanks, tumblr!) I was inspired by a Vox article ranking the films by quality, so I watched them out of order, which was actually quite interesting in a very meta way. I'd seen the original Iron Man, and some of my friends in college had filled me in on the intricate details of the Marvel universe back in the mid-2000s, so I had a pretty basic idea of the situation with HYDRA, SHIELD, Nick Fury, etc, etc, and could just jump right into the middle of the action without needing too much more context.

So here are my off the cuff thoughts:

Captain America: the Winter Soldier:

My favorite movie of all of them (so far, anyway) and the one I watched first - no regrets! Has everything I want in an MCU movie - great action sequence, a decent but not overwhelming number of characters, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff starring in their own movie, plus a gripping plot and great action sequences. Nick Fury proves he is a total badass, with Maria Hill not far behind. Also, I'll confess a soft spot because the movie is mostly set in DC, which I am more familiar with than New York. The Smithsonian scenes were ON POINT.

Oh, and I totally ship Romanogers after watching this film. Not sorry at all. I know the writers are actually trying to ship him with Sharon Carter, but I'm really not a fan. I mean, it's just a little creepy that she's Peggy's niece, and even though he didn't know that when they first met and flirted and got to know each other a bit - I still find that a bit too much Replacement Goldfish for me. While it's tragic that Peggy aged and Steve didn't and she doesn't really remember him, eventually Steve is going to have to move on. Sharon is a lot like Peggy, but so is Natasha - at least in terms of badass competence - and I love the working dynamic between Steve and Natasha - they know each other well, they trust each other, they have each other's backs, and I love their casual banter. Also, I'm a sucker for Contrasting Opposite pairings - and the morally ambiguous former Russian sleeper agent Black Widow with the honorable, square Captain America is full of it.

The deep irony is that Black Widow is canonically with Hawkeye and the Winter Soldier in the comics, neither of which is ever even remotely hinted at in these movies. But that's okay because I really don't ship those pairings! Yay, movie continuity... because let's face it, sometimes the comics are really weird.

Major thing I would change: NO MORE MALE GAZE SHOTS OF NATASHA, OKAY?

The Avengers:

Surprisingly, not a huge fan, despite rave reviews from Vox and others. I can't even put my finger on what it is, exactly, but things just feel "off" to me here. Maybe it's the Joss Whedon touch? Because that scene with a shoeless Natasha taking out Russian mobsters while tied to a chair really just screamed Joss Whedon to me. Although I did enjoy the look on Phil Coulson's face when she puts him on "hold".

Also, Phil Coulson was a badass and I'm sorry they killed him off (though apparently Nick Fury brings him back to life in the TV series because Nick Fury doesn't believe in death? It's the sort of thing Nick Fury would do.) Nick Fury and Maria Hill continue to be badasses. Surprisingly, I find Loki somewhat tedious and Thor charming when I really expected it to be the other way around. I enjoy watching Bruce and Tony exchange science banter, but I'm really not into the Hulk. And while Tony Stark continues to be the king of sarcastic wit - to the point where I refer to him as "Tony Snark" - and I'm normally a big fan of that (and I enjoyed the original Iron Man when it originally came out), I'm somehow no longer interested in watching the antics of an egoistic billionaire playboy who makes crazy science weapons and then is surprised when bad people use them, especially compared to Captain America.

I do like the Chitauri giant fish weapons and how organic they are but Thanos and the rest of the Chitauri stuff just feels over the top.

I did love the post-credits scene at the Shawarma joint, though; definitely more than Tony's post-battle shawarma ravings in the film proper.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Probably could have skipped this one, but I enjoyed learning more about Captain America's backstory, even if it wasn't really necessary. Peggy Carter is such a badass, and it really make the events of The Winter Soldier all the more tragic when you watch Steve with Peggy and Bucky, and learn that SHIELD has been infiltrated by HYDRA from the get-go. Also, I thought I was going to hate Howard Stark because his son is frequently a jerk, but he was surprisingly endearing. Red Skull is kinda annoying, and having Captain America stuck in the cryofreeze unit.... wasn't really explained.... but I did love the awakening scene in New York at the end. Nick Fury continues to be a badass.  

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Still didn't like this as much as a lot of people seem to (probably the Joss Whedon thing?) - while lots of individual pieces were good, the movie felt weird as a whole thing. Watching Steve and the Avengers take on a European HYDRA base was an interesting callback to the 1940s with Steve and the Howling Commandos - probably the happiest time we see with Steve in the post-SHIELD era, honestly, and right before it all goes to hell. Tony Stark's "yay" as he opened the secret door was fun, although I don't think Wanda (I feel weird calling her "Scarlet Witch") could have snuck up on him and kick-started the plot if he hadn't taken off his suit for no obvious reason.

I hate Tony's decorating skills - all the modern uncomfortable furniture and clear glass - and fancy dress parties full of rich people. Loved the drinking and banter about Mjollnir and Thor's reaction to Captain America being able to move it just a bit. Glad all of Cap's surviving friends from the 1940s showed up, though - warms my heart.  

NOT a fan of the plot shipping Natasha and Bruce together. I like them individually, hate them together. But I was really happy to see Hawkeye has a family and a real life outside of the Avengers he never told anyone about - and his family knows about what he does and supports him. Hawkeye gets a lot of crap from people both in and out of the films, but I think he's one of the more stable and balanced characters, and frankly, by my standards, one of the most successful and happiest ones. Go Hawkeye! You've got your priorities straight.

My favorite action moment is Black Widow using Captain America's shield for a minute in the Seoul action scenes before tossing it back to Captain America, hands down. Why doesn't this sort of double-teaming happen more often?

Also, I like how Thor just decides to leave to follow a vision, is bad at fitting in with the human world, and does his own thing in bringing Vision to life, AND at the end going off to figure out the whole Infinity Stone business. I'm still confused by all the Asgardian references, but not sure I really want to watch the Thor movies to figure it out, so I rely mostly on my knowledge of Norse mythology, which actually gets you most of the way there.

I love Hawkeye and Wanda's relationship - it confirms my feeling that Hawkeye is a mature adult. Also, I enjoy the way that Vision just casually swings Thor's hammer... and everyone is suprised and then decides not to wonder about his ultimate allegiance... and a delighted Thor has someone to discuss his hammer with.... and Vision is just a few notes shy of Uncanny Valley territory (and could be downright creepy if he didn't have JARVIS's voice).

Best part of the movie for me is the end scene at the new Avengers headquarters - thankfully they've moved out of New York! - with Steve and Natasha training the new crew of Avengers, because shipping.  

Captain America: Civil War:

Liked it much better than both the Avengers movies, probably because Joss Whedon wasn't involved. Despite the Sharon/Steve kiss, there's nothing in here canonically that messes with my preferred Romanogers pairing in the long run. I like how Natasha tries to talk sense into both of them (though she fails, which is really not her fault). Too bad Peggy Carter dies and isn't able to talk sense into Tony and Steve and get the government off their backs because you know she would have if she could have. Also, Black Panther and the Wakandans are awesome, T'Challa does the mature adult thing at the end, and watching Peter Parker geek out with Tony Stark makes me like Tony so much better than I previously have, despite the fact that I think he acts like an idiot even though I agree with most of his basic points in the film.

Great action sequences, throughout the film, especially the Berlin chase sequence and the airport battle. Not so into Iron Man vs. Captain America, honestly. Watching Wanda grow is great; Hawkeye gets some great lines and actions; the ending is bittersweet but hopeful. Apparently, Tony broke up with Pepper, which makes everybody sad except for me, who was kind of "meh" about the pairing anyway. Watching Tony flirt with May was hilarious although I don't ship it - just shows Tony's still got a bit of the playboy in him (or maybe that was just a ruse so he could talk to Peter alone? Either way, funny).

Really sad about War Machine, though... glad he survived. Love Falcon and Redwing, watching the opening scene in "Lagos" (really, it was filmed in Georgia). Also glad the whole "Winter Soldiers" business turned out to be a red herring and the real plot was actually something else. Though it breaks my heart that Howard Stark recognized Bucky and calls him out by name.... only to die at Bucky's hands a moment later. So tragic. I didn't catch the name of the villain, but apparently, his name was Zemo - doesn't really matter, his plan was brilliant. Also not clear: who filmed that footage of Bucky murdering the Starks and why?

I think Vision may have a point about the number of enhanced humans increasing the possibility of catastrophe. Though, to be fair, Loki probably would have conquered the earth unchecked if the Avengers hadn't been there, and that just opened the doors for more weird shit to keep occurring. Though Vision may not know about all of the crazy HYDRA plots that went down PRIOR to Tony Stark becoming Iron Man when he made that comment.... or does he? Hard to know what Vision does and doesn't know.  

Mixed feelings on Martin Freeman as Everett Ross - maybe he'll be better in Black Panther, but in this movie, I can't really figure out what his deal is (and didn't catch his name until reading the wiki afterwards). On the other hand, Benedict Cumberbatch is in the MCU universe as Dr. Strange, which means at some point they'll probably have an in-universe meeting, which pleases me on some deep level since I enjoyed their dynamic together in Sherlock.

Also, the Avengers headquarters is actually the Porsche headquarters in Georgia and I cannot take it seriously now that I know this.

Other movies:

-Probably not going to watch the first two Thor movies, might be persuaded to watch Ragnarok depending on fan reactions and the overall quality of tumblr gifs. Since tumblr gifs are what inspired me to watch the mcu films in the first place, it seems only appropriate. Likewise with Ant-Man and the Wasp and Captain Marvel.   - I'm probably not going to watch Ant-Man or The Incredible Hulk either. I'll probably watch the scenes with Black Widow/Natasha in Iron Man 2 and skip the rest of the movie. Likewise, going to skip Iron Man 3 because Tony Stark is only bearable if he has someone to counter him, and I'm pretty sure that's not the case in that movie. -On the fence about Doctor Strange - probably will watch it, but it's not a high priority right now. -Guardians of the Galaxy - these are supposed to be good, and will probably be helpful context for Infinity Wars, BUT Chris Pratt is not my favorite actors and I'm not really interested in the side characters enough for it to be worth it. (I did enjoy Jurassic World, but I was in it way more for the dinosaurs, although his raptor training / racing raptors on motorcycles through a jungle was just crazy enough to be awesome - and also since it was on the DVD cover, I knew exactly what I was signing up for. I HATE how that movie treats Claire, and the inevitable romance between her and Chris Pratt's character... so I'll say I enjoyed Jurassic World in spite of Chris Pratt and not because of him. Don't hate the dude, just not interested in his movies or the style of humor that seems to run through the Guardians movies.) If I find their appearances in Infinity Wars to be good, I'll consider watching them.

Predictions for Infinity Wars:

-Cliffhanger ending to Part One, with all/most of main characters dead/dying as in Tony's vision back in Age of Ultron. -Vision gets the yellow infinity stone ripped out of his head and dies, at least until they can figure out how to bring him back to life -Iron Man's heroic sacrifice, since apparently Robert Downey Jr is getting tired of playing Tony Stark in these movies and is looking for a way out. Someone else will take over the suit eventually, though.

I think Steve Rogers might die, too, but I'm really not happy about this. Gamora, Peter Parker and many of the next Gen Avengers will probably survive, since Marvel will want to make more movies after all this is over. I think Black Panther will be one of them.

I'm secretly hoping that we get a reference at the beginning of Infinity War that Natasha was helping Steve bust into the Rift and get everybody out. Because that's exactly the sort of thing they'd do together. There's so much going on in Infinity War, though, and so many characters, I'd understand if it wasn't included. But it would be a nice nod if they did.

[tachibubu]

Despacito

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Reader

AU: Semi-Medieval, Pirates Era and Aftermath of Civil War.

Prompt: You haven’t meet Bucky but idolized him since you were a child from the stories of your parents. Bucky returned from being captured by the people from Hydra and King Rogers held a masquerade ball for the return of his best friend and you’re invited on it.

|I got to tell you something guys, I don’t really like Bucky that much. But since most of the people on tumblr likes him so I ask, why not? Also this would be semi-Medieval. Thought I’ll do something new! To be honest I didn’t quite like this since I CAN’T COMPLETELY EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED but when I finished editing (Which was weirdly fast.) I appreciated it a little bit. My thesaurus wasn’t working and there’s no Wi-Fi atm when I did this story so sorry! Anyways hoped you like it!

| WARNING: CONFUSING |

You haven’t met this man before, longhaired and piercing eyes. Just glancing at him can make you feel intimidated. Is it because he has the status as being the lone king of the pirates? Might be for the other people but for you, he is the type of man that yearned for love behind his façade. Something about him makes you feel connected at him even though you just meet him now.

Today, King Steve Rogers of the Northland held a party for the celebration on James Buchanan Barnes return. He was known as Bucky, the Lost Soldier of the Sea. The people in the discarded island known as Hydra when he was fighting for the Northland captured him. The people were happy that he was back, for you? You were ecstatic, your parents told you a lot about him. To be exact, he was your childhood hero and you can’t admit that you had a puppy crush on him.

“The theme would be Masquerade, requested by the King.”

Sam Wilson, best known as his battlefield name Falcon announced. He is known as the left hand of King Rogers as Bucky was known to be the right hand. The females scurried off, wailing and sobbing about not finding the right dress and masks as the males were distressed about their salaries and having not enough money to buy their suits.

“Ah, (Y/N).”

Wanda Maximoff, known as Scarlet Witch. She held great power in the battlefield, as she was a sorcerer; she was supposedly in the Southland where the wealthy King Tony Stark governed. Unfortunately, she didn’t like the rules that was set on that land and fled with Clint Barton. The King of Archery in battlefield and serves King Rogers, best known as Hawkeye. Speaking of him, he was beside Wanda smiling sheepishly and awkwardly waving. You weren’t really that close to him. But to Wanda. You treated her like the twin sister you never had.

“We have a surprise for you.” Clint grinned as he scratched the back of his neck. You stared at them confusedly and that’s when you feel a gloved hand covered your sightings. You heard a man giggled and you felt in glee as you uncovered your eyes and gawked at the sight.

“Peter!” you embraced the young man as he returned it.

Peter Parker, alias name is Spiderman. He is one of King Stark’s best soldiers; he was cursed to have the abilities of a spider when he was a child. He didn’t know it until he was took in by your mother, May and father Ben.

“Long time no see bug.” He spans you around and landed you gently on the rocky ground. “Wait,” you stared at him “Does this mean…?”

“Yes, King Stark would be attending the party.”

King Tony Stark of the Southland. Unlike King Rogers’s kingdom, which is only managed by the king himself. King Stark has the help of some few people that his residents voted at.

“Glad that the Iron dude would be here, he got any gifts? Iron again? How about gold, we need that.” Sam engaged in the conversation abruptly with Natasha Romanoff trailing behind. “Not going to happen,” Natasha puts her hand on her hip averted his gaze at Clint, giving in a small smile “Hey.”

“Nice seeing you again,” Clint laughed. Natasha Romanoff, known as the Black Widow. One of the soldiers of King Stark, she is the main spy in his troop of army.  

“Vision!” Wanda rushed in to give the robot a big hug. No one knew how the robot was made except for three people. They haven’t seen such advanced technology made rather than cannons that was found in Hydra. Vision was known to be one of the strongest, agile and enhanced knights at the South, serving for the better and loyal to King Stark. He embraced back and smiled at the form of greeting made by Wanda.

Peter smirked and averted his attention towards you. “So where’s the ant dude anyway?”

"The man went to his family for the time being,” Sam sighed, “The poor man needs time to heal after the War happened. Anyways how’s Rhodey and the Panther guy?”

“Well, King Stark has been by his side all day after the fall incident but he’s fine now. He’ll be able to join the ball and T’Challa returned to his kingdom, he wouldn’t be in the event sadly.” Clint glared at the members of the South. Guilt creeping in, “My bad, sorry.”

“Nonsense.”

The group including you twirled around to find both of the Kings together with their most worthy soldiers beside them. King Stark smirked at the acknowledgement he was getting as you and the others arched your back and bowed while King Rogers just face palmed in annoyance at the other King. “No need to bow for now. I told you that you should just bow when in front of other villagers! This is embarrassing.”

“Now, now Capsicle. Don’t you like the attention we’re getting?”

“Please just stitch your mouth.”

You and the others stood and watched the childish argument in amusement. It’s not any other day you see two Lord-like beings disputing each other in a foolish way since you were just a mere engineer unlike your adopted brother and his and your companions. While watching as the two males fight while Rhodey, the War Machine that stood beside King Stark tried desperately to cease the fight. You noticed a male that you’ve never meet before, longhaired and piercing eyes. Just looking at him can make your knees shook. He had this certain aura around him that you can’t pin point. His facial expression makes you think that he doesn’t care at all on what’s happening around him.

He observed the crowd of heroes and landed his eyes on you, taking note on how you were the only one staring back at him. He frowned then returned to look around who is around.

You sulked at the gesture, how rude you thought.

“Anyways, the reason I’m here it’s because I’m introducing my best friend that helped me through out the years in sailing.” King Rogers smiled and directed his thumb at the man beside him. “His name is---“

You couldn’t believe what just happened as Wanda styled your hair. “I COULDN’T BELIEVE THAT HE WAS THE SEA SOLDIER!” Wanda manipulated another rubber and made it land on her hand and proceeded to do your hair.

“I THOUGHT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HANDSOME AND COOL LIKE MY PARENTS TOLD ME!”

“Now, now (Y/N). There’s no reason to call him not attractive, after all he’s a ladies man.” Wanda chortled as Natasha applied on a lipstick. “Don’t joke on me Wanda! Also he’s so rude for God’s sake, how could that be a ladies man?!”

It was a fact when you stated that he was rude, when you were walking around at the market place, which was filled with people and you are trying to find Wanda his body collided with you and left as if nothing happened and didn’t even apologized, you also took notice on how he has a covered basket beside him. There’s also one time when you’re going in the bakery store to buy some flour as requested by Natasha, just when you were supposed to open the door the pirate roughly exited the room as the door smacked your face. He even made an eye contact yet he didn’t say a simple “Sorry" and rushed out while you were rubbing your bleeding nose. Fortunately it didn’t broke. Now, the one person you idolized so much is now just an annoying fly to you.

“Well, talk to Natasha about that. She dated him.” You instantly turned your head on your right, not minding the call of Wanda as two of the pins fall off of your hair. “You dated that grouchy man?”

Natasha didn’t hesitated to answer as she puts on one of her earrings “Yes. Only for three months. He’s not like how you described him to be.”

You grumbled incoherent words as Wanda only snickered. “Well, he’s a kind man if you try to know him. Take this ball as a chance, though it might be hard since we’ll all be wearing masks.”

“Pfft,” you rolled your eyes “Not a chance.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going with my dear brother.” You smugly said and wore the mask you made that complimented your dress as Wanda finished the last touches on your hair.

“What?”

“Sorry bug.” Peter smiled and left with Mary Jane leaving you alone as your other friends left. Natasha is with Bruce and Wanda is with Vision.

There are a lot of people in the castle, every one of them in check. People were having fun dancing with their partner; no one is alone except you. While wandering you found a waiter bringing foods and champagne around so you took one drink. Nothing to do, you emerged out of the castle and entered the back of it which lead to a beautiful view of the ocean and the night sky full of stars. You couldn’t help but love this part of the land something about it was enchanting. You grinned and placed the wine glass down and took off your heels while launching down the rocky shore. Feeling free from the world. In every step you could hear the sound of the music playing from the indoors decreasing.

You could hear the waves and the salty water scent hits your nose. You sat down near the sea and admired the view of the constellations and the calming hums of the ocean. Something about this place reminded you something but you couldn’t pin point it. While you were engrossed in your thoughts heard someone sitting beside you.

“Nice view right?”

The person is a man in a suit; his hair in a man bun and his mask’s design was gorgeous. You nod, not entirely trusting this man. Though to you, he has this presence that was rather familiar.

“Mind dancing?”  He stared at you his eyes were ice blue. He stood and held out his hand. Something about that gesture made your head ache a little but you reassured yourself and took the hand as he pulled you up. He placed your hand on his nape and puts his hand behind you. His other hand took yours, conjoining it. He led the slow paced dance while humming a song that you were familiar with.

“What are you singing?” he only smiled a toothy one.

“You will know.”

Suddenly you could hear the music from the castle clear.

Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote Tengo que bailar contigo hoy (DY) Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome Muéstrame el camino que yo voy (Oh)

He lead the dance suddenly into a face paced one and adding a mix of touches and salsa, “Hey!” you were flustered, as you didn’t know how to dance on this type of music only slow ones but surprisingly. Your body led you to the beat, shocking you completely. You weren’t the dancing type of girl to say at least.

Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso (Oh yeah)

Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más                                Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro

You wouldn’t admit it but you were enjoying the moment. Chuckling here and there while looking at your partner who is in the same condition with you.

“Sing with me.” He said suddenly which made you gape in confusement.

“Despacito.” He began. The song was really familiar to you and you couldn’t help but hum along and then openly sang as well. Your mind was giving you the words to say in melody, surprising you once again.

Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube)

(Sube, sube) Quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero ser tu ritmo Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby)

You chanted the lyrics along with him until the song ended.

“Despacito.”

You heard Sam’s voice echoing saying to take off the mask now. You and the mysterious man looked once again and untied the masks.

It shocked you who to see your partner’s face.

“Bucky?” your eyes were wide as a saucer.

“(Y/N), I have something to say.”

“How did you know my name? We haven’t even made a proper conversation until now!” you backed, the sand somehow calming your aggression a little.

“(Y/N), I know you before and one thing I want you to know is that I love you.”

“What?!” he smiled, his eyes showing the opposite. It held sadness, “I need to go now. I just want you to know that I’m going to Hydra tomorrow and I need to see you once again there. Promise me please.”

“I don’t understand…”

He moved forward and kissed you, you felt butterflies in your stomach. It was a short, meaningful kiss. When you stared at his eyes, it was no longer blue but it is now warm brown.

“Be safe.” He smiled then backed away and walked towards the opposite direction of the castle. You were left in trance and your mind was full of questions. When you were brought back to reality, you tried to call out for him and maybe follow him to demand questions but his trail of footprints were nowhere to be seen.

“God, Bucky is such a douchebag.” You grumbled while biting on one of the Turkish delight snacks that you bought from the bakery store, this snack was far by one of your favorites. “There you go again,” Wanda sheepishly pinpointed while she was drinking coffee.

“I heard that Bucky would be going to Hydra in a few minutes by now.” Natasha said while biting off plain bread. You choked at the thought; you remembered that Bucky said that you should meet him, which you didn’t know the reason behind.

“Hey are you okay?” Wanda initiated.

“Yeah, I just remember that I need to feed my cattle. I’m just going to buy food in a few minutes.” You responded, took your pouch and rushed outside, running towards the shore where the on-going boats decked are.

“Weird, she doesn’t have a cattle.” Wanda sighed and proceeded to steal some of your snack that was left. Natasha only smiled.

“BUCKY!”

The crowd ceased down and stared at you weirdly while the man that you called looked at you strangely as if he didn’t knew you. “What?” he countered and embarrassment floods you mixing with anger. How could he be all right after he just kissed you yesterday you thought. Now that you realized, you didn’t knew what to say and everyone is looking at you since you just yelled for attention at one of the most intimidating man in the land. To them it was an act for a death wish making you gulp

“Uh, eh… When you get back maybe, tea sometime?” you stammered “And augh, be safe!”

You proceeded to push towards the crowd in embarrassment. “Why did I even do that?!” you panted as you stopped in front the bakery store, your heart was pounding. “But I just noticed, why is his eyes are blue?”

Meanwhile at the boat, one of the passengers nictate his eyes at the scene and confronted his captain. “Do you know that lass?”

Bucky only smiled, remembering the catastrophic moment. “Didn’t knew that girl but maybe I’ll know her in the future just like she said.”

Around the enormous rock that was near at the Lone Soldier’s boat there was a cloaked man watching the scene, his face beaming at the act that happened. He then entered the forest that lead to an isolated shore. Basket in hand, his destination ended in front of a gravestone. He removed the covers as the sweet Turkish delight can be seen and set it in front of the gravestone.

“It’s been years, right? I brought your favorite sweet once again.” He brought out his hand to see it slowly fading. He frowned, “I’m slowly fading…”

“Well at least my other self would get to grow old with you now.” He choked in tears. “I’m coming now (Y/N).” He wiped his tears off, as there are only few parts that weren’t part of the air yet.

“Despacito all right.”

With one last breath, the longhaired man with piercing eyes was gone.

On the gravestone, it carved:

 “(Y/N) (L/N)”.

||The story was confusing I know but I was thinking, should I do a prequel thing that describes what happen before this? Let me know guys! Also if I do add one, who would want to be tagged?

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Captain America: Civil War (Part 3 of 3)

He Reminds Me of a Chicken Pox. If I’m In Trouble PLEASE Do Not Call Him.

The Setup: Here’s Part 1 of Marchae and Clint’s Civil War reaction, and here’s Part 2.

Notes from Kris and Miri in italics.

MARCHAE: Ok can I tell you what I liked

CLINT: Sure I liked everything

MARCHAE: NO NO NO first tell me what you liked 

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL 

I would not go that far...  but I did LOVE Madam Hot Sauce!! She is a really strong female character (physically) and that makes me happy... 

CLINT: It was a good continuation of the cap story

Black panther

Spidey

Obviously, cap

Hawkeye

Yes Madame hot sauce

MARCHAE: Hawkeye is a male Katniss Everdeen 

He is not on my list... our lists do not match except for Madam Hot Sauce

CLINT: Visions density shifting

His name is Clint

MARCHAE: SPIDEY is so far not on my list he isn't even on my non existent kid's kid's kid's list

CLINT: [Hawkeye] grew up in the circus

MARCHAE: SHIT! SERIOUSLY!! 

CLINT: Hurtful

MARCHAE: you want me to get back on the things I DON"T LIKE

But really… A CIRCUS 

ok i am going to tell you the things I LIKED 

CLINT: That's his comic history. But continue

MARCHAE: it should not be

CLINT: It works

KRIS: It does! 

I don’t think it’s supposed to be Clint Barton’s backstory in the movies, though. For whatever it’s worth, the Ultimates version of Clint (whom movie-Clint was more directly inspired by, at least early on) was an Olympic archer who became a special ops soldier. We do know that movie-Clint was with SHIELD long before Natasha, and that when he was assigned to kill her (she was with the KGB at the time), he turned her instead.

MARCHAE: I really do like the core of the story like when you take out all the things I didn't like about it the root message of friends til the end is a good one

CLINT: And him and hot sauce are bffs

K: The movie does shortchange this. And I would’ve liked to see even more work with Steve and Natasha’s friendship.

MARCHAE: also...why. I also really liked the action scenes 

CLINT: So Friends makes it worse

MARCHAE: No!  

in fact my note was "I think if they don't talk and it was just action with no words ALWAYS... I could get all the way down"  that's kind of a backhanded compliment but i REALLY REALLY REALLY like action movies a lot

K: I don’t think I knew this

MIRI: I definitely did not

CLINT: So less story more action

MARCHAE: so it is a testament to the fact that they were some amazing action scenes.

CLINT: So you'd like a Michael​ Bay avengers

MARCHAE: We can talk about my issues with story later (and it was mostly just wonky time things)

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

K: I’m learning so much about Marchae

CLINT: No

MARCHAE: I mean I do love to see the people fight and the things get blown up

CLINT: Watch Man of steel you'll see why that's bad

MARCHAE: guess I will and I bet it will be GOOD!

CLINT: No

MARCHAE: well it's also superman...

ok things I like Mr. Madam Hot Sauce (I know she's your crush)

CLINT: #notmysuperman

MARCHAE: LOL

CLINT: Scarjo is the best

MARCHAE: I did like the Black Panther Reveal ( I think by this point in my notes I got their names somewhat together because they are all written-- I am going to take pictures of my notes and put them in the post) I loved the spotty accent the Olsen Sister

CLINT: She was regionally vague

MARCHAE: it was regionally hilarious because it was only on words that had weird 'R' sounds

LOL. it provided comedic relief

I actually really liked the toddler robot he may have been my favorite

CLINT: I don't know if it was funny but ok

MARCHAE: it was

CLINT: Really him

K: Now I legitimately think Marchae should go back and watch Avengers: Age of Ultron for Vision stuff.

MARCHAE: YUP and Madam Hot Sauce... I may be her if I ever decide to celebrate Halloween

K now hear me cause this is going to be mean

CLINT: Comic con

Cos play

MARCHAE: but I really really liked the individual's subplot story lines... they were well defined but the total stories as a collective not so much  so if each character had a break out session of sorts i could do it...

AND I WOULD HAVE COS PLAYED THIS YEAR BUT YOU STOOD ME UP!!!

CLINT: That's what the whole movie was

MARCHAE: no...

CLINT: Unrelated (re:Cosplay)

MARCHAE: (no that last bit is truth)

ok The fight scene with Bucky was also great and the tag team girl fight scene was also pretty amazing

CLINT: Which Bucky fight the one on the stairs or when he was cray. Or both

MARCHAE: Both actually were really good

I also like that it is a woman who calls Iron Man on his crap and tells him to watch his back

CLINT: The stairs is my fav next to the one at the end

The kids mom

MARCHAE: I also really did forget how awesome iron mans suit was  and I appreciated Stan Lee's cameo

those were all the things I liked

CLINT: It it's cool but he has no powers

MARCHAE: who? Iron Man

CLINT: Yep

MARCHAE: Are you kidding me right now?

LIKE ONLY TWO OF THEM DO ANYWAY!!!!

MIRI: Spiderman has powers. Just saying

CLINT: Iron Man has no powers he's just rich and smart

MARCHAE: like none of them have powers is my point I think that this wasn't a bad movie I just would rather more put together polished heroes

CLINT: Vision, Wanda, cap and Spidey

MARCHAE: if you say that things name one more time i swear  Ok can we please talk about spider man just for a moment and I will try to be rational

CLINT: They didn't need back story at this point We're like 12 movies in

MARCHAE: (also thats not a lot of people to depend on--but we are rehashing earlier conversation if we keep revising that point)  

CLINT: Spidey was awesome

MARCHAE: Here is my thing I don't like Spider Man ... not one bit nope

CLINT: Why

MARCHAE: in fact... my actual honest to god note says... "He reminds me of a chicken pox. 

K: I’m... not sure what this means?

he is always jokes on jokes on jokes. If I'm in trouble PLEASE do not call him. Is this THE BEST that Tony can do! He has the ENTIRE MARVEL UNIVERSE AT HIS DISPOSAL”

I've never liked spiderman . he is kind of whiney and it is really annoying when you're depending on people to save your life. I think from that point forward the movie kind of turns into a farce

CLINT: He is a kid and it's how he deals with the stress

Wow

MARCHAE: He needs to grow the heck up

See this is what I mean  

WHY

CLINT: He's in high school

MARCHAE: and the reason it turns into a farce

is because then ANT MAN WHO TURNS INTO A GIANT also JOINS US

CLINT: Tony used a child soldier. Let that sink in

MARCHAE: SANK. I mean there is an entire universe and that man was like let me go and get this MAN CHILD who makes JOKES to help out?

CLINT: Which is why you don't register

MARCHAE: and also the fact that Ant Man referred to them as SUPER HEROES. Which is why we need a manual  

rule number 1A: STOP MAKING JOKES AINT CRAP FUNNY...PEOPLE ARE DYING

K: Wait, maybe Marchae really will like Zack Snyder’s DC movies

CLINT: Ant Man was cool he had his own movie

MARCHAE: Sweet grief

I did like the ant woman/Madam Hot Sauce Fight!

CLINT: And if you let that get to you too much you're done

She kicked him in the gonads

MARCHAE: I feel like That trio: Ant, Spider and Iron Man act way to casual for me

she did and it was great!

Ant Man was the worst... A giant Tiny Man

CLINT: You need them though so it's not super dark. Giant Man was dope

MARCHAE: *eye roll*

CLINT: I'm at that part now. I'm watching it again

MARCHAE: You're watching it AGAIN! LOL

CLINT: Just cause

MARCHAE: YESS!!!

okay so did you have any specific questions for me?  (I mean I have lots for you but I feel like I can easily wikipedia them and spare the interwebs my ignorance)

CLINT: You can ask away, but how did you feel about the reveal at the end with Buck and Tony

MARCHAE: OH I actually really liked that and was shocked!!!  that was pretty cool

K: This is interesting. As a longtime MCU fan who saw it coming from the teaser (and I don't think the movie was necessarily trying to hide it), I still thought it worked on a dramatic level, partly since it involved a betrayal from Steve as well, in his lie of omission.

CLINT: All that destruction to break up the crew

MARCHAE: and it nearly worked...

CLINT: It did

MARCHAE: I think I even noted that it was sad that Captain America felt so alone in the world and that they were literally destroying each other... that was kind of sad ...and great character/story development

CLINT: Man out of time

Defend my friend or jump on board with something to keep his new friends. I was shocked I thought he was hoping to use the soldiers.  

But nope I'm here to let you know buddy killed your parents 

Have fun 

Also Tony's phone

MARCHAE: The phone?  what did I miss 

CLINT: It's just cool

MARCHAE: LOLOL 

CLINT: And projects holograms. I'd want it

MARCHAE: They have those out now! (just kidding)

CLINT: I would own it

MARCHAE: K I don't think I have anything else really of note necessarily

CLINT: See the funny thing is at the end they were close to all being friends again but that was part of the plan

Great ending

MARCHAE: OH NO i didn't mean to cut you off

CLINT: Oh it's cool

MARCHAE: Yeah ... but i feel like it will never be the same with them again 

CLINT: It won't be and that was the plan

MARCHAE: (not that i know a ton about how it used to be with them I mean I saw avengers 1... but still they seemed to all get along)  to turn them against each other and have them all going rogue perfect plan! sounds like gravy to me! 

CLINT: Yep in zemos eyes the avengers killed his family 

he knew he couldn't beat them so he decided to break them 

You can't overlook your friend knowing his homie killed your mom 

Then just be cool

MARCHAE: It is a very intricate story that's for sure

CLINT: But well done

MARCHAE: *offers tight smile*

CLINT: Lol

MARCHAE: We all like different movies  

CLINT: What would you score it

MARCHAE: I feel like it's a trick question because it's like the score BS and the score AS

CLINT: (I'm lost) wait spider Man

MARCHAE: YUP

CLINT: Oh wow such shade

MARCHAE: So BS  it yielded a solid 7.5

AS it went down to probably a 5... I really don't like him and it did get a little silly to me when he arrived on the scene

MIRI: OH MY GOD MARCHAE

CLINT: Then after

MARCHAE: also I need to shout out Marisa Tomei.

K: This did kind of make me want to watch Only You, an early-90s rom-com Tomei and Downey star in. But having seen the trailer, I’m not sure Downey’s character will have aged well.

After what

CLINT: After no more Spidey

MARCHAE: Oh it'd go back up to a 7.5

CLINT: 9.5

MARCHAE: on that note LOL 

CLINT: Lol

MARCHAE: well hey it's been a freaking DELIGHT to do this with you!!! I had fun watching and talking to you about Captain America Civil War

CLINT: 11ty. Hundred! It was a good time

MARCHAE: 11ty hundred is not a movie rating LOL 

CLINT: For this one it is

MARCHAE: I adore you 

Let's try and see LOGAN!

CLINT: I say bvs or we can do both

MARCHAE: what is BVS?  bible vacation school? 

CLINT: Or if you're up for torture will Smith and suicide squad. Batman vs Superman

MIRI: Marchae, don’t watch Suicide Squad. Two bad Will Smith movies in a year might destroy you. He’s good, but the movie is a disaster.

MARCHAE: Lets aim for BVS and Logan! we officially have plans! 

Thanks again for doing this brother 

CLINT: No prob sister

Thanks very much to Clint for being our first Guest Reactor! We hope he has time to join us again further down the line. I mean hopefully it won’t come down to the end of the line. Which is a reference Marchae would understand IF SHE’D WATCHED THE WINTER SOLDIER.

Anyway. No promises, but maybe a Spider-Man: Homecoming reaction is in the cards, though if we want Marchae to watch it we’re going to owe her two or three Reactions to things she chooses. Watch this space. In the meantime, you can follow us on Twitter.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #246: GATHERINGS

August, 1984

Family feud! Guest-starring SERSI of the Eternals!

She comes!

A portent of times to come! I hear a faint rumbling of leather jackets from distant years...

Also, hey! She-Hulk! I missed you!

The Avengers have been through the Secret Wars and participated in the Wraith War! What’s next for our band of heroes?

Maybe parties? The cover makes it look like a party is going on before some Kirby-looking guys crashed.

But also? Vision’s vague scheming to raise the Avengers’ profile continues as he and Scarlet Witch take a trip to visit President Reagan and First Lady Reagan at the White House.

Weird thing is that we don’t get an unobscructed view of Reagan’s face. He’s either back to the ‘camera’ or cropped on the panel border. Weird, since this wasn’t a problem last time he appeared in this book. Y’know, the time some plant people tried to hold him for ransom? That time?

President Didn’t-Pay-for-the-Likeness-Rights thanks Vision for taking time to personally brief him on all the biz the Avengers have been up to.

President Reagan: “I wish we could talk like this more often! The National Security Council keeps me posted on your missions, but there’s nothing like getting the news firsthand.”

Vision: “I quite agree, Mr. President. In fact, I have a few suggestions for making the lines of communication between Avengers Mansion and the White House more... shall we say... direct?”

He suggests they speak in private which Reagan gladly agrees to, shooing Scarlet Witch and Mrs. Reagan out. To Scarlet Witch’s surprise because he sprang the trip on Washington on her and now he’s sprung this on her.

Also, every time Vision meets someone in private and the conversation takes place off-panel, they suddenly come around to his point of view so.... uh...

Well, I’m sure it’s fine.

Meanwhile, we get back to Captain Monica Marvel Rambeau’s subplot. Remember how she worried after getting back from Secret Wars that she had no explanation to give her family for being missing for several days? And was thinking of telling them about her secret superhero thing?

Well, she calls home to New Orleans and her presumably firefighter dad answers. I presume he’s a firefighter because there’s a firefighter hat and coat hanging up prominently in the background. We call that environmental storytelling.

Monica’s mom isn’t home so Monica asks for her parents to call her back when they’re both available.

Monica: “In a way, I’m glad momma wasn’t home. That gives me more time to figure out how I’m going to tell them that their ‘little girl’ is leading a double life... as an Avenger called Captain Marvel!”

... Geez, her costume looks so weird when there’s nobody in it.

Monica ponders just bringing it up casually by RECAPPING HER ENTIRE BACKSTORY! Which, in fairness, would be an appropriate way to handle it. But she decides that just going ‘yeah I was helping old family friend Professor LeClare investigate a secret lab on an oil platform, punched a machine, got powers, and then joined the Avengers’ would sound crazy and that there must be a better way to tell them.

I say, take it slow and ramp up. Start from ‘I have superpowers’, do a little pew pew flashlight beam and let their questions guide your explanation.

Meanwhile again but elsewhere, Wasp van Dyne is just chilling at Avengers Mansion, bumming herself out rereading the World According to Garp, and receiving a phone call from West Avengers Chairman Hawkeye.

He tells her that he found a great HQ for the new West Coast Avengers, some old silent film star’s home, and he’s overseeing renovations now.

This ongoing Hawkeye real estate subplot is to get you excited for the upcoming West Coast Avengers series. Are you?

I dread it.

Anyway, Starfox comes in after the phone call and recognizes that Janet is in a Mood. A very bored mood. A post-chairperson funk.

Wasp: “It’s just that Wanda and the Vision are in Washington... Hawkeye and his new wife are setting up a new team in California... Cap and Thor are away on missions of their own... Everybody’s doing something! Everybody but me! It’s funny, after all we’ve been through lately, especially with that horrible Magneto, you’d think I’d appreciate a little leisure time. But instead, I’m bored out of my mind!”

Magneto kissing her really teed her off if that’s what she’s focusing on from the whole Secret Wars thing and not having died.

Starfox has just the answer for Wasp’s post-Magneto-kissing blues though.

PARTY.

He was on his way to a great party and Wasp can be his plus one!

Meanwhile, on the Washington to New York plane, Vision and Scarlet Witch.

She’s confused why they didn’t just take the Quinjets that they have instead of flying on a commercial airline but Vision says that getting out among the people is just good public relations.

I mean, he’s not wrong. But also flying in public, in your costumes, seems like it runs the risk of aggroing a supervillain attack.

It doesn’t happen but I wouldn’t have been surprised if it did.

The flight attendant asks Vision if he drinks before course correcting into asking him if he wants a drink.

I don’t know what’s more amazing here. Wanda going ‘he never has coffee at home’ like that coffee ad that Airplane spoofed.

Or Vision patting himself on the back for connecting to the common man with his drink order.

Simply superb.

Back at the casa Rambeau, Maria Rambeau returns and then returns Monica’s call. Monica says she’s going to come over for dinner and then a panel later, she’s knocking on the door.

Her parents are confused because it’s a twenty-minute drive between Monica’s house and theirs but that’s just part of what Monica wants to explain to them.

I see Monica decided to just jump into her explanation.

Back in New York, Janet frets over whether she’s dressed right for the party but Starfox just dismisses that as one of Earth’s weird mores. Why, he only wears the one outfit and that’s just gonna have to be good enough.

They arrive at the party and it seems to be a hobnobbin’ sort of event, with people discussing court settlements and acting. Also, She-Hulk is there. Hi, She-Hulk!

Glad Stern found another excuse to include you after Byrne stole you away to the land of the Fantastic.

She-Hulk says she met the host at an exotic bakery shop just last week and that’s how she scored the invite.

I wonder what made these baked goods so exotic. And I’m wondering if it wasn’t actually erotic. Do I think that She-Hulk would purchase a butt cake? Yes, yes I do.

She asks Starfox how he knows the host and, well, he doesn’t. He heard about the party and decided to invite himself (and Wasp) along. I.e. crash.

But the host...

ITS SHE!

SERSI!

SHE COMES!

But the host, Sylvia Sersi, isn’t too bothered by the pair of party-crashing Avengers and has She-Hulk introduce them.

Starfox is enchanted to meet Sersi and she likewise but they’d best not be too enchanted to meet each other because I’m pretty sure they’re not too distant relations.

Mentor founded the Titan colony of the Eternals and the Eternals have all been around a while so there’s not that many branches between Starfox and Sersi, I don’t think.

Anyyyyyway.

A drunk man pauses before a mirror to tidy up his tie and gets a startle when a Watcher-looking guy that isn’t the Watcher because he has hair appears in the mirror instead of his own face.

When Sersi comes over to investigate she tells him he must have imagined it and sends the guy away for some air but then interrogates the mirror face man and calls him Domo.

Domo, in the mirror: “We need you here in Olympia! Everyone is needed for the final decision!”

Sersi: “I told you before, I don’t care! Go ahead and make your big decision! It won’t affect me, because I intend to go right on doing as I please!”

Then she turns the mirror into a picture of penguins??

Her powers are great indeed.

Although her investment in the community is less so.

Whatever this mysterious decision everyone is voting on, it is clearly less important than this rockin’ party. This party has a She-Hulk!

Back over at the Rambeaus, Monica decides to just rip off the band-aid and tell her parents that she’s Captain Marvel. They find it hard to believe so she just pulls out her costume and lightspeeds into it.

Harder to hold doubts when your daughter glows with an awesome power.

Frank Rambeau: “It’s true... my little girl’s an Avenger. Hey, that means... you’ve met Captain America!”

Frank jumping right to the important points.

Thankfully, Monica’s parents are very supportive. And actually like the Avengers. You have cool parents, Monica.

Frank Rambeau: “Monica, I don’t know what to say! The Avengers are heroes... like Cap and the Black Panther and Thor... They’re like a legend! To think that you’re one of them -- !”

Maria Rambeau: “We’re very, very proud of you, dear... Prouder than we ever thought possible!”

Very cool parents.

Meanwhile, back at the party, mirror spooked guy (apparently Harry) goes out for air like Sersi suggested and then sees something else which spooks him even harder!

He runs from the party babbling about seeing things or not seeing things and not sticking around to sort out which.

Then a bunch of goons crash the party by flying through the terrace doors.

Look at these total goons.

Starfox steps forward and tries to defuse the situation both by words

Starfox: “Easy, my friends! I’m sure you don’t want to hurt anyone!”

And by shooting pleasure beams from his mind.

Predictably, his pleasure beam, besides being creepy, can’t be allowed to be too effective.

If it actually worked we wouldn’t have conflict and plot.

So like the Hulk in Incredible Hulk #300, these dudes called Delphans just slap Starfox out of the way.

Then superhero number two steps up.

One of the Delphans say that they need to get “that witch” before she can cause them any grief and She-Hulk was in proximity and assumes they meant her and takes exception to that.

She-Hulk: “‘Witch’, huh? You wouldn’t mean me, would you? That’s a bad choice of words, but you’re right about one thing... I can give plenty of grief!”

The Delphan just immediately hits her with an energy pole which just pisses off She-Hulk and ruins her party dress. Thankfully she had the unstable molecules FF costume on underneath.

She dresses in layers.

Delphan: “You’re still standing? But that photon-burst would have stunned the mighty Karkas!”

She-Hulk: “You stupid jerk! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find nice things in my size?!”

She-Hulk and Starfox start beating on the Delphans but its Sersi’s party and she can shoot eye beams if she wants to, eye beams if she wants to.

Sersi: “I should have known Domo would send you Delphans after me! Well, it won’t work! You’re not taking me away without a fight!”

Not just eyebeams but apparently a piggifying beam!

A singing piggifying beam!

Oh, sure, the Delphan says that its a transmutive ability but I know whats what.

Her name is Sersi, which is like Cerci, and she can shoot pig beams at people, especially Greek soldiers.

Unfortunately, like other witches before her, she needs some wrist range of movement to do her business and grabbing her by the arms will just nullify her.

Sigh.

If only he didn’t have armored outpanties, she could kick him in the business.

But fortunately, Wasp “can blow up a small house” van Dyne won’t be stopped by armored outerwear and shoots the Delphan grabbing Sersi right in the butt.

That is, Wasp shoots him in the butt, not that he’s grabbing Sersi in the butt.

Meanwhile, over in the Vision and Scarlet Witch subplot, their plane lands at LaGuardia and they’re instantly accosted by journalists who wants Vision’s take on rumors that the president is going to make chairmanship of the Avengers a cabinet-level post.

Vision coyly tells them that he and the president discussed many things but he’s not at liberty to confirm anything.

Hmm.

Then Vision excuses himself, saying that he and Wanda have to get back to Avengers Mansion.

Scarlet Witch: “We certainly do!” And when we get there, we are going to have a little talk!

Seems Wanda is annoyed at all this being left out of the loop.

Back at the A-plot, where A stands for Avengers go to a party and then get into a fight, Sersi gets fed up with these shenanigans and threatens to turn the Delphans into worms but she gets grabbed by the wrists again, this time by power-dampening chonky handcuffs, and dragged away by the Delphans to their spaceship that was hovering right outside the party.

Starfox and Wasp fly out in pursuit, with non-flying She-Hulk complaining about being left behind.

Wasp: “After them, Starfox! We mustn’t let them get away!”

Starfox: “I quite agree! Hostesses such as Ms. Sersi are all too rare!”

Wasp: “No kidding! Once we rescue her, I want to find out how she does that trick with her eyes!”

... Really.

The eyes specifically? Not the singing pig beam?

Huh. To each their own.

The ship takes off shortly after Wasp and Starfox stow aboard and the two heroes resume beating Delphan ass to try to save Sersi.

Lead Delphan: “We have the advantage in number, but they’re still making us look like idiots! We can’t let them beat us now! Have to initiate transport... while there’s still a chance!”

The ship then disappears with a FWOF!

And reappears above the mountains of Northern Greece.

Apparently, Eternal transportation is like the kind in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy because Starfox and Wasp are discombobulated and nauseated by the transport.

The Lead Delphan seizes the opportunity while the bull is hot and pulls the lever to make the ship just completely disassemble.

The Delphans take advantage of the heroes startlement to beat the shit out of Starfox in midair.

Clever. But rude.

Sometime later, Starfox comes to in Olympia to discover that he and Wasp are completely surrounded and in the shit.

Domo: “Citizens of Olympia!! At last, we all stand together... reunited with our Polar and Pacific cousins! Our destiny beckons! But before the ritual may begin, we must first deal with these two... who have intruded into the affairs of the Eternals!”

Hey, dick! They don’t come to a party you’re crashing and slap the host!

But I guess we’re going to meet all the Eternals next time.

What a fun coincidence that I’m hitting this point of the story when the Eternals movie is just a few months away.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because one day I’ll read comics about Sersi wearing a leather jacket. Like and reblog for the same reason or for different reasons.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #211: ... By Force of MIND!

September, 1981

THE OLD ORDER CHANGETH!

Oh hey, Dazzler, Hercules, Black Widow, Moon Knight, Angel from X-Men, Yellowjacket, Black Panther, Tigra, and Hawkeye?

Are you joining Captain America, Wasp, Beast, Thor, and Iron Man as the new Avengers?

Is this going to be the next biggest roster since the Korvac Saga?

Possibly! Jim Shooter is back and he was the guy behind that story.

Jim Shooter is very back, something the creative credits make sure you don’t miss.

“Joyfully welcome back long-time star Avengers scribe, me, Jim Shooter -- ‘cause I’m writing these credits, and, also I’m the boss!”

Charming. Non-facetiously.

It has similar energy to the ol’ Stan Lee introductions. And is probably just as much a pretense. Eh.

So the story “... By Force of MIND!” starts in the Avengers conference room.

And penciler Gene Colan sure has interesting ideas what that should look like.

We’ve seen the Avengers’ conference room a couple times in various books. They tend to have a grand conference table with assigned chairs?

Look at this one from Avengers Annual #10.

Or the one just as recently as last issue #210.

Pretty big overall. Suitably grand.

But the conference room has apparently been redecorated because it looks different. The personalized chairs are still there.

But the table is puny. It looks like the Young Avengers table at Thanksgiving. Set up off to the side for all the kids. Its dinky. It doesn’t look like all the Avengers can fit around it.

Which possibly supports Captain America’s point when he decides that the Avengers roster needs to be trimmed down to only six.

All those people on the cover are going to be really disappointed to hear this.

Captain America: “The Avengers have a habit of playing for high stakes! I believe that a lean, close-knit group is better... stronger!”

Beast goofs that they’ll need explosives to dislodge him from the team.

Also, there’s a trapeze on the roof of the conference room. Why. I mean, I know why. Your acrobatic characters need to be casually acrobatic at random times or they’ll be bummed out. But also why.

Wonder Man isn’t as bothered. Even after all this time on the team, he doesn’t feel like he’s ever really belonged here doing this hero stuff.

Vision and Scarlet Witch are selling themselves as a package deal. You get both or you get neither.

Captain America gives the Avengers some time to rest and think but they’ll reconvene at 1600 for the new roster announcement.

So there’s 9 people in or adjacent to the Avengers. Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Beast, Jocasta, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Wonder Man, and Wasp. Three are gonna have to go.

All of this possibly getting fired, gives a pretty dour attitude (except for Wasp who doesn’t seem very concerned and probably doesn’t have a reason to be. Would you want to tell Wasp that she’s fired? I wouldn’t). Beast decides to lighten things up.

By causing problems on purpose.

So Beast bounces through the crowd of Avengers, jostling them all, and stealing Wonder Man’s glasses. Who hates having his glowing eyes show.

Scarlet Witch: “What on-- !? Beast! You crazy -- !”

Beast: “Moi? Crazee? Begging your pardon, mademoiselle witch. I am merely, how you say... playful! So, like gimme some space to be a jerk in, you know? Okay?”

At least he knows he’s being a jerk??

And then he runs off with Wonder Man’s glasses, goofing all the way.

Wonder Man: “Come on, you lame-brained blue-furred buffoon!”

Beast: “Hmmf! I’ll have you know, sir, that I am a highly intelligent blue-furred buffoon. I hole a dozen PhDs! I speak fifty-three languages... but I tell you, I don’t get no respect! Wanna hear me say ‘eat my dust, jocko,’ in Latverian?”

In the face of all this buffoonery, Wasp still doesn’t really care.

She decides the done thing is to go get her hair done for the big meeting. And sure this is short notice but she’s Janet Van Dyne. She’s going to have a movie starlet’s appointment bumped for her.

Scarlet Witch reflects that maybe the reason Jan isn’t worried about the possibility of being cut is that the Avengers aren’t her whole life. She has other stuff going on. A husband. A fashion line. The fabulous existence of being Janet Van Dyne.

Jocasta comes and tries to ask Vision for advice. Even after her big focus story, she still feels like an outsider. And she doesn’t have a life outside the Avengers. So unlike her brain donor Wasp, she is very worried about getting kicked out.

Jocasta: “You’ve learned to fit in, even though you’re a robot, as I am. Please... help me to...”

Vision: “I beg your pardon, Jocasta. I am a synthezoid, not a robot! As such, I am a perfect meld of computer microcircuitry and living, synthetic flesh! In all ways I am a fully functional man! I have a wife -- who needs me now! I cannot help you with your dilemma.”

And then Vision peaces out of this conversation by flying through the ceiling. Even though he’s going to join Wanda who is in an adjacent room. Ya weird, Vision.

You’re also massively unhelpful whenever anyone asks you for advice.

This is fully the second time Jocasta has asked him for advice. At least he didn’t trash the room in an angst ‘I DON’T HAVE FEELINGS AHHHH I MISS WANDA’ tantrum this time.

Jocasta is left alone. Which basically sums up her time in this book. Poor, poor robot. She’s so lonely she goes off on an existential soliloquy right outside Vision and Wanda’s room. Which is a bit passive aggressive. But hey. Superheroes.

Jocasta: “Are you truly so much different, Vision? So much better than I? I know that my voice rings metallic... but yours is cold hollow and emotionless!”

“I have built-in sensors! I can see! I can hear! I can feel! I function well enough? Don’t I? Don’t I? What does it take to be alive?”

“Does it take warm flesh? Am I merely animated because I am made of metal? I did not choose to be what I am!”

“I am what Ultron made me! Ultron -- the evil robot nemesis of the Avengers! He made you too, Vision -- reconstructed you from a long-dead android body! Both of us rebelled against his evil! Both of us sided with the Avengers!”

“Why, then, am I less than you? Is it because you are loved... and I am alone? Ultron... loved me...”

;__;

Poor robot lady.

I do wonder why the Avengers have been so indifferent to her presence. She did come to them during a chaotic moment in the team history. Vision was based on Wonder Man who wasn’t on the team while Jocasta had to coexist with Wasp from day 1.

There’s also that while both she and Vision are angsty robots that turned against Ultron, Vision (despite his famous “even an android can cry” moment) tends to be more performative with his angsts. He sulks. He broods. He smashes furniture.

Jocasta sits quietly and sadly in the background. Makes tentative stabs at companionship but backs off without ever causing a fuss. Different socialization rules for the robot genders possibly?

The good news is that modern Jocasta has learned to assert herself a lot more. She’s been a delight in the Dan Slott Iron Man book.

Anyway. Hopefully that line about Ultron doesn’t foreshadow anything. Its going to be really dumb if Jocasta brings back Ultron because the Avengers treat her with all the attentiveness of the fridge (although she may still legally qualify as one depending on how much of the Henry Peter Gyrich’s nonsense has stuck around).

Time for a sudden, drastic tone shift!

Beast exits stage Avengers Mansion, pursued by Wonder Man.

He hides up a tree like a rocket belt isn’t something Simon has or the ability to jump hella high.

But Wonder Man takes neither of those options. Instead he karate chops the tree down in one stroke. Which is impressive but I imagine Tony Stark is going to be annoyed. That tree was part of the landscaping!

Not expecting this, Beast falls out of the tree complaining that cutting down trees is illegal in New York. Wonder Man catches him and takes his sunglasses back.

Beast: “You grabbed me! But nobody’s fast enough to do that!”

Wonder Man: “People think I’m just strong! Everybody forgets that I have instantaneous reflexes and blinding speed! To me, the world looks like its moving in slow motion!”

I feel like if Wonder Man was Actually Fast all along, he’s not been getting much use out of it, considering how often he takes dumb hits in fights.

And then Wonder Man hurls Beast into the sky.

Like. Really high into the sky.

Beast: “omigosh! omigosh! omigosh! He’s nuts! He’s crazy! He’s -- who cares about him?! I’m dead! He killed me over a crummy prank! For stealing his glasses I get to end up as a blue blotch on the street. My girlfriends won’t recognize me! I can’t look! Wait a minute! This is serious! This is for real! I’m falling at hundreds of miles per hour! Nothing can save me! I’m really going to die! Like this?! I’m going to die like this?! NO!”

Wonder Man: “Relax, Beast. You’re in good hands with Wonder Man!”

Beast: *Whuff*! You -- you caught me! But that’s like catching a bullet.”

Wonder Man: “Told you I moved quick!”

Beast: “thanks. You’re a decent guy for a common ruffian, Wondy!”

I mean, he also threw you straight up, Beast. Is it so impressive that he caught you?

But with the disproportionate response to a prank by making Beast think he’s going to horribly die, Wonder Man sort of apologizes and says he’s going to miss hanging out with Beast.

See, Wonder Man isn’t going to hang around hoping he gets to stay on the team. He’s actually decided to quit. As has been Wonder Man’s thing for a while, he just doesn’t enjoy the superhero life.

He’s always struggling with insecurity and dislike of throwing himself into deadly danger a dozen times a week.

In fact, he wasn’t too broken up when Henry Peter Gyrich kicked him off the team. Back when he got super into the idea of becoming an actor. He even said at time “If I can get used to playing roles on a stage - maybe I’ll feel more comfortable in my role as superhero!”

Except, as we saw in the Shadow Lord/Berserker two-parter, Wonder Man hasn’t gotten used to playing roles on a stage.

And we’ve seen that his Avengers responsibilities are getting in the way of his acting opportunities. So. Not a surprise he’s going to leave the team as long as the roster is being rearranged anyway.

Wonder Man asks if Beast likes that superhero life of facing death all the time.

Beast: “Frankly, I never really actually considered the possibility of dying... until a minute ago. But think of the fun, glamour and girls, Simon! This is the life!”

Wonder Man: “Is that stuff really enough for a guy as smart as you, Hank? The way I see it being a hero doesn’t make you a person any more than having power makes you a hero.”

Beast: “Yeah. But pigs make good pork chops so I’m staying!”

I’m not really sure what Simon is getting at here. I think its something about finding yourself?

As the time for the meeting draws minutes away, Completely Normal Doctor Donald Blake arrives at the mansion by cab. The cabdriver wondering what a guy like Blake is doing at Avengers Mansion. This Completely Normal Cab Driver is tempted to snoop but goes naw!

If he had snooped, he may have seen Completely Normal Doctor Donald Blake turn into the Mighty Thor and head into the mansion.

Here’s a funny thing, Thor claims that the reason why he talks to himself so much is out of protest that there’s just not enough heralds in Midgard to tell people how cool he is.

Thor: “Thus, the mortal facade is stripped away -- and thus, once again Thor treads the Earth! Thor, god of Thunder, Prince of Asgard! Thor, son of Odin! Bah! That the son of Odin must so proclaim himself -- ! Are there no heralds about? Nay... never when thou needest one! Unannounced, I enter this Earthly ‘mansion,’ poorer than the least dwelling in Asgard!”

Thor also wonders to himself that if he is chosen to take part in the new Avengers roster, will he choose to remain with them? One presumes he has a lot of Thor business going on. That’s why he left the team back when Moondragon was temping with them. She convinced him he was slumming by hanging with the Avengers.

OH. MEANWHILE. That Completely Normal Cab Driver?

He is seized by a strange compulsion. He parks his cab in an alley, takes off his clothes and -- MOON KNIGHT?

Inside, the Avengers are assembling for their meeting to find who is fired or not. Except they’ve decided to give the rinky conference room table a pass and are instead sitting around in a room with even fewer chairs and a table less conducive to holding a meeting.

Lateral move.

I’m wondering whether there was some miscommunication between writer and artist or what.

Cap tells the Avengers to find a place to sit (when there is only one visible chair) when Jarvis interrupts.

Moon Knight has shown up and demands to see the Avengers. And the automatic defenses that should have stopped him seem to have been switched off.

Moon Knight insists that the Avengers summoned him. That he was forced to come to the mansion. Which comes as news to the Avengers.

And then a whole bunch of other superheroes show up claiming that they were also forced to come here.

Hi Hercules, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Angel, Yellowjacket, Dazzler, Tigra, Black Panther, and Iceman!

So that explains the cover.

Wow, a cover that didn’t even lie!

There’s a hustle and bustle of the various superheroes complaining about being here because they had better things to be doing. Black Panther is late for a meeting to speak with the UN Security Council!

And Dazzler complains because its too cold to sit next to Iceman. And Iceman is just like ‘it be like that.’

Oh and Tigra seems to decide to get in some impromptu yoga. Don’t know what the deal with that is. But cats be like that sometimes.

Moon Knight sees all these heroes here and comes to the conclusion that this is some weird Avengers membership drive. But he is very not interested in this!

Yeah, I don’t know that a mysterious vigilante who mostly operates in the shadows would be a good match for a public superhero team.

Cough.

Iceman too is like sorry but I’m not into the hero stuff. I was on the Champions. I did my time!

So he and Moon Knight turn to leave. Iceman saying he’s going to need to find a cab and Moon Knight clearing knowing that he’s going to be picking up that fare.

But when they get near the door, the two freeze.

I realize that Iceman is involved so I mean that they suddenly stopped moving.

And they get super belligerent at each other and start fighting. With Iceman expositing about his skills. Which is normal for a comic. But seems a bit weird in the context of whats going on.

Iceman: “I feel compelled to explain how my X-Men training helped me to get the most out of my mutant ability to freeze the moisture in the air!”

And he freezes the ground under Moon Knight’s feet so he slips like a doofus.

But when he goes to finish the fight, Iceman’s head suddenly starts to hurt. Which he says is like someone else is in his head with him. He can’t think clearly enough.

While Iceman is distracted, Moon Knight throws some of his moonerangs at Iceman who blocks them. But neither can continue as the pain in their heads incapacitates them both.

Yellowjacket: “Wait a minute! I know who must be behind this! That arrogant self-styled g-- *uhh*”

And Yellowjacket freezes in place, as if in a trance.

The Avengers are concerned but Angel suddenly starts flying around the room, saying he can’t resist, he just has to flyyyyyy

Which apparently offends Tigra for some reason. Some mysterious reason. How mysterious.

Angel: “The Angel’s in the air! Watch me do my stuff!”

Tigra: “So, you think you’re pretty special, huh, Wings? Well, you’re just another bird to Tigra, the She-Cat -- and cats eat birds!”

Angel: “Sounds wild -- ! But you’ve got to catch me first!”

Tigra: “I will Bird-Man! I will -- with my nice, sharp claws! And, once I do, I’m plenty strong enough -- to tear your precious little wings right off!”

Eeeeeeeeesh. Well that’s retroactively a sore subject. Angel has his wings badly injured during the Mutant Massacre storyline and they end up amputated, sending him into a depression. And then stuff happens stuff happens, its his college roommate Cameron Hodges’ fault, Apocalypse gives Angel metal murder wings.

But in the here and now before that series of events, we must assume something similar to the sudden antagonism between Moon Knight and Iceman.

Something weird is going on and stating out loud that you’ve figured out what just gets you put in a trance.

Of course, I know what’s going on because I peeked ahead so I’ll just go ahead and tell you its M- *uhh*

Hahah, just kidding! Can you imagine, though? Anyway, its Moondragon.

She’s lurking behind the Avengers watching them watch this nonsense. They don’t notice her because she’s decided she doesn’t want them to. Until she does.

But before that, hey, time to call out Beast.

Beast: “Hey-- ! That’s not a costume! Tigra’s for real! She’s like a cat ... covered with fur -- like me! I should be thrilled, I guess... But instead, I find it vaguely unsettling!” 

Look, furries can’t judge furries for being furry. Its the law.

Anyway, Moondragon lets the Avengers notice her and they turn around and go ‘oh ffs its Moondragon’ more or less.

Moondragon: “I sensed your need for order... for organization! So I returned!”

Iron Man: “What?! What right do you have to interfere?”

Moondragon: “Why, divine right, naturally!”

You may not like her but you have to admire her confidence.

She recaps her backstory a bit, including her belief that she’s Actually A Goddess of Mind. Because she was raised by the demigods of Titan and she’s super psychic.

I’m not sure how super psychic. I don’t think she and Jean Grey, for example, have ever locked horns. And Jean Grey is kind of the byword for super psychic.

She’s at least psychic enough that she gave Daredevil his vision back. I think that’s psychic?

I do wonder how Moondragon stacks up on the Grey scale. But not enough that I want that kind of dick waving contest between the Avengers and X-Men. There’s enough of that already.

So after explaining how great she is the Avengers basically react with ‘oh ffs, we did not miss this’ and ask what this has to do with this circus.

Moondragon: “Come now, Iron Man! Who better than I to bring order to the tangled affairs of this company? When last I left this august assemblage, my status was still Avenger-on-call -- meaning that I would aid you in times of dire need! I am needed now! -- And so I am here!”

Iron Man: “Swell.”

I think I’ve actually missed her advanced state of arrogance. Or maybe I’m just charitably inclined to her because she and Phyla-Vell got back together and alive in the current Guardians of the Galaxy run.

Anyway, Hawkeye has not missed her advanced state of arrogance and decides to peace out. He’s got an actual paying job to do and he’s late for work because Moondragon dragged him out here.

Moondragon tells him he can go. FOR HIS FATE LEADS HIM AWAY FROM THE AVENGERS FOR NOW!

Hawkeye: “Baldy, if you’re so hot why couldn’t you figure that out without dragging me across town?”

Good point, Hawkeye.

Honestly? I think she did it to troll you.

Black Widow and Black Panther also take off. Black Panther to his UN thing and Black Widow back to her job with SHIELD.

Moondragon doesn’t stop them. So I’m guessing their fates also lead them away from the Avengers for now. But. Why bring them? They didn’t do anything?

Moondragon, were you just padding out the numbers for a more exciting cover? Dammit, Moondragon!

Hawkeye is Hawkeye and thus extra extra so he shoots a suction cup arrow at a helicopter to hitch a ride instead of taking a taxi. And as he dangles from it, he muses melancholic about what Black Widow and he once had. And ironically, Black Widow is also thinking about him and sure that he doesn’t care for her anymore.

Womp womp.

Inside the mansion, Moondragon decides to continue, to the protests of Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America.

So she yells SILENCE! and paralyzes them, just like with Yellowjacket.

The assorted crowd of everyoen else fusses and wonders what to do but Moondragon takes charge and demands that Dazzler show her stuff.

Or rather:

Moondragon: “You use your gift frivolously... as part of a musical act! Please demonstrate!”

That’s... a way to request that, yes.

Dazzler doesn’t like her tone but decides to demonstrate anyway. Cranking her pocket radio and converting the sound waves into a dazzling light show.

Dazzler: “I.... uh. Also skate! Not much of a power, huh?”

Moondragon: “Hmm! Greater than you suspect... but i sense that your desire to be a minstrel is deep and sincere!”

Minstrel? Really? Psychics have no excuse for not knowing the right word.

I’m getting a real mixed vibe from Moondragon talking to Dazzler. Its like she’s being condescending and complimentary at the same time.

But since she senses that Dazzler just wants to do disco stuff, she tells her that she can go.

Dazzler isn’t sure whether to leave the Avengers to deal with this or as she thinks “Baldy’s rap sounds real cool but this scene is definitely tense!” but Scarlet Witch tells her it will be alright.

So Dazzler goes. “When the Scarlet Witch says go -- I go!”

Dazzler knows the score.

With Dazzler gone, Moondragon is like ‘welp lets get back on with it’ but Scarlet Witch has had it.

Scarlet Witch: “Enough! We demand that you cease this outrage! We can make our own decisions.”

Moondragon: “Can you? Some of you would choose to stay out of force of habit... or loneliness... or fear of failure in the world beyond these walls! You are children! It is far better that I choose!”

And now Iron Man has had enough. And has also had an idea.

While his body may have been paralyzed by Moondragon, a lot of his armor functions are thought activated because, hey, I don’t see a lot of buttons on him, do you?

So all he has to do is think WHOOOSHy thoughts and WHOOOSH he goes, flying through the ceiling of Avengers Mansion. For once, it is Tony Stark who destroys Tony Stark’s home.

And once he’s outside Avengers Mansion, he is apparently far enough outside her range that he can now move. And since “brainwaves are electromagnetic in nature” he turns on his built-in transceiver to emit a microwave psionic jamming signal.

Which is something that he just can do!

The effect of which is that it’ll make Moondragon “feel like she’s got static on every channel!”

Sure!

Kind of reminds me of the First Foundation’s anti-psychic defenses they made against the Second Foundation. Ah, classic sci-fi. Sometimes it teaches us things like how to fight specifically Moondragon.

Moondragon is sure that she can overcome the jamming if she can just regain her concentration but...

With psychic frequencies jammed, the paralyzed Avengers start to spring into action.

So she just puts up a force field. Projected from her spaceship in Earth orbit and activated with a remote control in her glove.

Aside from the other things I’ve given Moondragon, I’ll also give her this: she came prepared.

Moondragon: “Why must you resist me so? Why can you not simply acknowledge that you need my godly guidance? We are wasting valuable time! I have yet another group of candidates to summon... but I cannot dally here much longer!”

I really want to know who her B Squad would have been.

But with the Avengers trying to break down her force field and Iron Man swooping back in to help, Moondragon decides ‘hey fuck this actually’ and teleports away.

Moondragon: “By the braided ring! How naive... how foolish you are! Perhaps I am wasting my time on your petty affairs! All right then -- enough! Have it your way! I am needed elsewhere in the galaxy! Farewell!”

And she doesn’t die on the way back to her home planet.

I do like that she recontextualizes the scenario as being actually this is a waste of her time and she’s just throwing pearls before swine. She’s going to go somewhere that appreciates the work she’s doing out of the goodness of her heart.

She is horrible. And like with Emma Frost, I just kinda appreciate that in a character.

With Moondragon not here to force people to stay, Thor tells all the non-Avengers to fuck off. Not very gracious, Thor. They were forced to come.

Iceman leaves and reminds everyone and me that his life goal is actually to be an accountant. Something I’m surprised by every time I hear it.

He even offers to help the Avengers with their budgets or tax forms. Heck of a guy.

Angel also leaves but muses that he kind of hates to.

Angel: “I... sort of hate to leave! I haven’t really done much with my life since the Champions broke up! -- Besides hang around with the X-Men a little! I never thought about becoming an Avenger --! Maybe I ought to!”

This is the thought process that will probably lead him to form X-Factor and that road leads to Cameron Hodge and Angel becoming Archangel. Dammit, Moondragon!

Although, the X-Man I really want on an Avengers team is Cyclops. He’s so defined by being an X-Man and by being a leader of X-Men, I want to see what he does on a team that already has plenty of leaders. I want to see if he goes through a weird character transformation like Beast and becomes relentlessly chill.

Alas.

Anyway, Tigra speaks up and says “I gather that you guys weren’t really looking for new members, but now that I’m here... uh, any chance?”

Cap is dubious because he doesn’t know a thing about Tigra (except that he gave her clothes to Patsy Walker) but Hercules is like hey we all saw how she tried to beat up Moondragon, that shows she has mettle.

Plus, there are Avengers that Hercules knows nothing about, which is totally the same thing.

Hercules: “You, for instance! You are called Wonder Man, though in sooth, I know not why!”

Wonder Man: “Really? Well, I... I’m as strong as Thor... almost...”

Hercules: “Eh? What?! HAVE AT THEE, THEN!”

And then he punches Wonder Man through a wall.

God, I love Hercules.

And then he tries to wrassle him, just pleased as all get out that Wonder Man is still conscious after Hercules gave him a big punch. “What fun!”

Wonder Man is less pleased.

Wonder Man: “Why are you doing this? Why are you attacking me for no reason?”

Hercules: “Men must brawl to know one another! How better to learn the measure of a man -- ? And what greater gift can a man give another than the thrill, the glory, the joy of battle? I am a friendly fellow who would often give this gift -- but, alas, most mortals are too frail to receive it. You are not, though! You and I may batter freely!”

Hercules just wants to punch people to be friendly but poor guy is just too swole for most men. He needs a real sturdy friend to beat the shit out of.

Wonder Man squirms out of the wrassle and clocks Hercules through a different wall. As the Avengers just watch like ‘yup this is the kind of day this has been.’

Hercules is in good spirit about being clocked through a wall and decides that now he and Wonder Man are friends and that Wonder Man is truly worthy to be an Avenger.

Wonder Man sheepishly mentions that actually he was quitting to pursue a career in acting and WHY HERCULES LIKES THAT JUST AS WELL!

Hercules: “Acting? Why of late, Hercules has kept company with those mortals known as the ‘jet set.’ I know many producers and directors! Come, I’ll introduce you to them! And the women, friend Wonder Man!”

Captain America, bemused: “you meet some strange folks in this business.”

There’s an non-existent Wonder Man and Hercules Take Hollywood Buddy Comedy Book and its a crime that its non-existent.

Geez, Marvel. GEEZ.

Anyway, that’s Wonder Man gone. Out of one buddy comedy into another.

Tigra reminds the Avengers that she’s still here and still wants to be in the Avengers.

Tigra: “Yeah... uh, back to my little problem... I’ve been at loose ends for a while... and I really want to belong somewhere! I know I could cut it as an Avenger! Please?”

This time, the objection is that the Avengers just don’t have room for a new person. They were trying to pare back! Not recruit!

But Beast interjects and reveals he is also leaving.

Beast: “Wondy and I had a talk this morning that started me thinking -- and I hate to admit it, but a couple of things Moondragon said hit home! You know, I used to be a scientist! I used to have a future besides my next gag and tomorrow night’s date! I want to see if there’s anything left of Hank McCoy besides a ‘blue-furred buffoon!’“

Hank’s early character beats on the Avengers were him struggling to find what his place on the team would be. He couldn’t be the strongest with Iron Man or Thor on the team. He couldn’t be the smartest with Iron Man again, Black Panther, or Yellowjacket. Wonder Man joining the team. Wonder Man joining the team gave Beast someone to be there for and with. But mostly Beast’s tenure has been kind of... party time for him. He’s been the fun member of the team. Going out to parties and juggling multiple dates and telling jokes.

Its been a fun time for Beast but he’s not really been living up to his potential And there were times he could have become the scientist on the team again. Or helped as one. Yellowjacket hasn’t been on the team as a core member for a bit. But he stuck in his role as the team clown.

Like with Thor, Moondragon has convinced Beast that he’s been sort of slumming it with the Avengers and now he’s gotta go rethink his character.

Where does this lead him? Why, he’s going to join the Defenders! And going to try to get that non-team team more organized like a team team. Is this a good thing? I don’t know, I haven’t read a lot of Defenders! Hopefully the Defenders podcast I listen to gets to that point soon!

But Beast isn’t the only one Moondragon has swayed.

Vision and Scarlet Witch likewise announce that they’re quitting the Avengers.

Vision: “Perhaps we will not succeed in finding a place among ordinary people -- but we must try!”

So perhaps influenced as well by the conversation Wanda had with Jan where Wasp wasn’t worried about losing her spot on the team. Which Wanda attributed to Jan having a life outside the Avengers. And apparently Wanda and Vision have been afraid to try for that. Until Moondragon dunked on her for it.

Geez. If there’s anything Moondragon is good at, its getting Avengers to quit the team. She got Thor and Hellcat last time. This time she got Beast, Vision, and Scarlet Witch.

So there’s room for Tigra now but also too much room. They were aiming for six and even with Tigra, they’d only have FIVE THERES ONLY FIVE CLEARLY.

Jocasta, in the background: -saddest robot in the world-

Yellowjacket shrugs and decides to rejoin as a full-time member to get the number up to six. His research hasn’t been going great lately anyway so he has time in his schedule.

Feeling overlooked, just like last issue, which was a filler which was supposed to address the Avengers overlooking her, Jocasta decides to slink away. Just leaps out the window and runs away from home.

Jocasta: “They didn’t even notice me... didn’t count me! Was it an oversight? Or had everyone already made up their minds that I would be one of those eliminated? What difference does it make? I am nothing to them! They do not want me here! Maybe I’ll find someplace where I am wanted! Maybe I’ll find someone... who loves me!”

=(

And where does Jocasta go from here?

She wanders the country looking for love, presumably in all the wrong places, and is seized by a per-programmed compulsion to rebuild Ultron. This leads to a big team up between the Thing, Machine Man, and her and Jocasta sacrifices herself to help stop Ultron. The Avengers hold a memorial and Machine Man attends, realizing that he had loved Jocasta.

So plus side: she does find someone to love her. Minus side: she dies and also its Machine Man.

Double plus side: she’s eventually rebuilt. Dies a couple more times. But she’s currently alive.

It’s going to turn out that this was a failure of communication.

(On the team less than a day after basically begging to join and she’s already made herself at home and is hogging the entire couch. How very cat of you, Tigra.)

Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor had decided privately to ask her to stay on as a Special Substitute Avenger, keep living in the mansion, and help out when its needed.

In the hubbub of Moondragon’s recruitment drive I guess they forgot to bring it up. I feel like its something you should have approached her with before the meeting, just to make sure she was okay with it.

Hindsight and all.

The snubbing from Vision definitely didn’t help.

Iron Man: “I hope she comes back! -- And I sure hope Moondragon doesn’t!”

Hah.

I do wonder what the initial plan going into the meeting would have been, before Moondragon took it over. What roster had Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America decided on before Moondragon talked three Avengers into quitting and introduced Tigra to the team?

I guess we’ll never knoooow.

Captain America muses that although it seems like they drove Moondragon away, she may have gotten what she actually wanted. “What if she used her mental powers subtly to influence the decisions that were made?”

And its possible because of how her speech influenced the three people who quit.

The thought just about makes Iron Man furious.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it because the news shows up to get coverage of the last panel new roster AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! moment.

I do love a good last panel new roster Avengers Assemble moment.

And that was Jim Shooter’s first issue back. And a pretty great first issue too.

Not that the previous issues have been bad necessarily but he definitely brought a sense of fun to this issue. Even though there’s some forced fighting for those ACTION SCENES most of it is just character interactions. Even some of the pointless fights.

And like writers like to do when they take over a book, Jim Shooter draws a line in the history with a shake-up to the team roster. Reintroduces Moondragon into the book because he has unfinished business with her.

I’ve actually been reading the original Star Brand book by Shooter and the writing is night and day. Its all text text text words words words but its much punchier here. Though there are some strange spelling and punctuation choices.

Still, I’m excited to have a consistent writer back on and I’m even excited about it being Jim Shooter. I hated his first run on the book on first read and then appreciated it more the second time through. And I’ve heard interesting stuff about this upcoming run.

Psst, follow @essential-avengers​. You are being mentally influenced by Moondragon to do so. Wait, this is a counterproductive self-promote. Er, like and reblog because you choose to?

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Giant-Size Avengers #3: Kang War II Conclusion: ... What Time Hath Put Asunder!

February, 1975

That is a pretty decent title. I mean, its no “‘This Hostage Earth!': In Which the Mighty Avengers Battle to Save Their Beloved Planet From a Fate So Deadly That None But the Macabre Mole Man Could Have Devised It!: A Marvel Tale of Most Compelling Excellence!” but few things are.

Also, apparently this comic will feature Thor literally destroying a year. Or maybe its one of those symbolical things.

Also also, wait! One of Thor, Iron Man, or Vision will die in this issue? BUT IRON MAN IS ALREADY DEAD AND VISION IS DYING. That kind of strips away some of the suspense.

But a quick recap: Last time:: Kang kidnapped Celestial Madonna Mantis and some other people, Swordsman died, Kang ended up in Limbo and put some people in imprisonment tubes and summoned a Legion of the Unliving, kidnapped some people again, Iron Man died, Vision had a ghost explode inside him.

This time: Vision is dying. Mantis may not be a robotocist but her Mantis senses tell her so.

Vision is handling death pretty well. He’s not sure if he, as a robot, can actually die but if he can, he might finally feel truly human. Like bicentennial man, kinda. But he calmly tells Mantis what happened to him before confusing her for Wanda.

Apparently his android mind made him relate the details of what happened to him as a warning to others. But with that done, he became more human. Calling out for the woman he loves as he dies. 

To ease his mind, Mantis claims to be Wanda. But then ninja stars.

Midnight found Mantis again. He’s here for a rematch. Also, he got his hat back.

Also also, he busts out some nunchaku. Because Kang’s hold on Midnight is fading and with it, the proscription against harming Mantis.

... Okay but Mantis just reaches into the spinning nunchaku and grabs one end and then I guess flings Midnight across the corridor?

Not going to lie though. It looks like that Daffy Duck Robin Hood quarterstaff thing? You know the thing?

It looks like that happens.

And now I’m imagining Mantis and Midnight having Loony Toons-esque interactions and its pretty great.

Midnight (looking kind of like an earless Black Panther in some of these panels) recovers quickly and FTAP!s Mantis for rubbing her alive status in his dead face but the dude is just outmatched.

She kicks his ass so hard that he doesn’t even get up from it and that’s the whole thing with these dead guys. It probably helps that she choked him?

Anyway, in the two and a half pages of this confrontation, Vision has somehow gone missing.

Apparently, Frankenstein happened across Vision, scooped him up and carried him off. Perhaps recognizing a sort of kinship with the artificial human. But he’s still just wandering aimlessly, except now carrying a robot.

Hawkeye happens to spot this and laments another dead Avenger. He considers attacking Frankenstein but realizes that even if he won, it wouldn’t bring Vision back. There are alive Avengers that need to be assembled. So reluctantly, he continues through the labyrinth.

Meanwhile, Kang. And the dead are getting complain-y. Wonder Man comments that wandering the labyrinth aimlessly hoping to come across Avengers seems useless and Zemo chimes in wondering if Kang reanimated the Legion simply to lead them around in circles.

Like I said. It was a dumb, dumb, dumb plan.

Kang decides that a good strategic move would be to split up and cover more ground, gang. Or maybe he just wants to reduce the number of complainers near him. He sends Wonder Man and the robot Human Torch off to find the Vision.

Zemo tries to offer a proposition to Kang but Kang goes here’s an idea: “Obey me -- or die anew!”

Meanwhile... can you really use that term in Limbo? And haven’t I asked that before? Elsewhere, Thor. Between issues he’s lost track of Frankenstein.

Which I’m going to judge him super hard for. The monster’s natural pace is a shamble. How do you get outpaced by that?

But then Thor comes across Iron Man’s dead, deceased corpse. No breath, no heartbeat. It doesn’t take a Doctor Donald Blake to realize an Avenger has died.

Thor honors Iron Man with a moment of silence and then snarls that it was Kang that did this and Iron Man SHALT BE AVENGED!

It adds to this moment if you remember that Iron Man and Thor are basically the Avenger bffs, having become closer by discovering each others’ secret identities.

Back on Earth, the Celestial Madonna heralding star over Avengers Mansion is causing some consternation among a gathering crowd.

Geez. How long has that star been lit. Its been at least a few days since it lit up. We know that the Avengers waited for Mantis to make any burial arrangements for Swordsman. And that thing is REALLY bright.

Anyway, the police tell the crowd to disperse and then head to the door to give Jarvis a message fort he Avengers.

Libra has escaped!

You remember Libra? Part of Zodiac. Wore short shorts. Betrayed Zodiac to save the Avengers because he’s Mantis’ dad. Went willingly to jail?

Well. He broke out. Just disappeared out of his cell. And the police commissioner wants the Avengers on this because Libra might help the rest of Zodiac break out of jail.

Jarvis goes to inform Wanda but when he knocks on her door a voice both inhuman and unmistakably Wanda’s answers:

Wanda?: “Get away from this door, Jarvis! As you value your wretched life -- get far away!!”

Jarvis is spooked, of course. But more on that later. Not in this post. I meant... later later.

Back in the Labyrinth of Limbo, Wonder Man and (robot) Human Torch. And Wonder Man is a robo-racist. Ranting and complaining about having to treck all over Limbo-land looking for “a thing that isn’t even a man!”

Robot Human Torch is pretty irritated by this. Not that Wonder Man realizes why. He’s a big fan of the Human Torch. Read his comics when he was a kid. And apparently the in-universe Golden Age Human Torch comics did not reveal that he was a robot.

And then the two run into Frankenstein with his Vision cargo. Wonder Man is pretty hype that Vision went and got himself dead without him having to do anything. Although Human Torch feels a loss at seeing the Vision laid low.

Wonder Man tells Frankenstein to lay Vision on a slab and back away. See, he doesn’t like to get too close to things that aren’t even human.

Robo-racist and prejudiced against people made out of reanimated corpses? You’re not making a good showing of yourself, Wonder Man.

One has to wonder (heh) whether Englehart would have gone with this characterization if he knew he was going to bring back Wonder Man in a bit over a year. Although I don’t know that he didn’t already have the idea at this point so whatever.

Wonder Man realizes that Vision is still... breathing? Vision, do you breath? Do you breath just to be like the cool kids? Do you breath just to be like the cool kids even when you’ve been rendered unconscious by an exploding ghost? Dang, that’s commitment.

Anyway, Wonder Man goes to finish off Vision but Frankenstein stops him and rasps out “You -- will not -- hurt him --!”

Wonder Man backs off but wonders (okay that time was an accident) what got into Frankenstein. Human Torch muses that perhaps being a unique form of half-life, Frankenstein is consumed with curiosity over someone who is hovering between life and death.

But Wonder Man isn’t interested in philosophy so runs off to tattle to Kang.

Human Torch asks Frankenstein and then takes a closer look at Vision. And he discovers something beyond belief, which shocks him despite suspecting it all along! This is incredible and amazing and you’re going to have to wait to find out what he is reacting to!

Mweeheehee.

Because we have to check back in on Kang and Zemo, everyone’s least favorite double act.

Apparently Zemo has been complaining the whole time he was off-panel about how he just wishes he could get his hands on Captain America. And Kang has finally had enough and tells Zemo to stfu and gtfo. In fact, go guard Immortus’ throne room and make sure Immortus and Rama-Tut are safely locked up.

And don’t even think about double-crossing Kang or boy howdy, you’ll suffer at the hands of someone who has perfected torment over seventy centuries!

Kang is now regretting this stupid tactic. Maybe he should have summoned his stimuloid instead. Although a true conqueror can work with any tools at hand.

And then Thor shows up.

Right after Kang has dispatched all his minions in various directions with no way to contact them.

Womp womp.

Thor tries to womp womp Kang with Mjolnir but Kang has his portable force-field active. But here is the thing that Thor has realized about that.

Kang’s force-field isn’t anchored. So he’ll just hit Kang’s force-field hard enough that it will send the conqueror flying.

And he bats Kang around for a while, Kang insisting that this cannot be! It can’t go how Rama-Tut predicted! He’s totally going to marry the Celestial Madonna and rule the Earth through her son.

Also, I don’t know why he’s surprised that his worthless minions managed to kill someone. He saw them kill Iron Man. He was right there, micromanaging the process.

Luckily for Kang, Wonder Man shows up and engages Thor in fisticuffs.

And they punch each other a bunch and Thor breaks a boulder off on Wonder Man’s head and the narration clarifies that PHOOM is different from FOOM.

And Wonder Man refuses to step aside and let Thor at Kang. Because Wonder Man likes being alive again and without Kang to operate the controls of Immortus’ gadgets... well...

Kang tells him to stop bantering and block the path.

Which Wonder Man does, ripping down a support so that the stones of the roof fall to block the way between Thor and Kang.

Doesn’t seem to slow him down for long though. Thor smashing the way through with Mjolnir or possibly Mjollner, as a narration box says it can also be spelled.

Elsewhere, Hawkeye wins the maze.

He found his way through the Labyrinth to Immortus’ throne room without being murdered or anything. If there was a prize, he would have just won it.

But there’s not. Not unless you count a face full of glue.

Which I don’t.

Because when Hawkeye comes into the throne room, Rama-Tut tells him to hit the button on the arm of the throne, which will free them of the imprisonment tubes. Lacking anything better to do, Hawkeye decides to do it, despite not really trusting Rama-Tut and not recognizing Immortus at all.

Zemo arrives and interrupts and they have a brief contest of ‘who can shoot faster, a guy with arrows or a guy shooting lasers from his glove.’

Answer: Hawkeye. He can shoot his bow ludicrously fast. Hell, he can string it ludicrously fast.

He blasts the ground out from under Zemo’s feet and then smashes his glove zappy doohickey and goes to hit the throne button.

And then with his back turned, Zemo pulls out an Adhesive X (yay!) gun and spurts glue all over Hawkeye with a PHOOP!

Zemo rants that he’s going to leave Hawkeye glued to the floor until he’s a rotted corpse so that he’ll know the torment that Zemo has felt having a mask glued to his face for two decades. Hawkeye asks for a mercy killing so he doesn’t have to listen to Zemo anymore.

Nobody wants to listen to Zemo talk. Its probably because he’s self-centered, always makes the conversation about him, and is also a Nazi.

But someone was listening to Zemo ranting about his mask problems. Immortus offers to send Zemo back in time before his mask was glued to his skin so he can change his past.

And while Zemo is distracted, Hawkeye grabs his bow with his feet and pulls back an arrow with his teeth! GOD DAMN!

He lines up an amazing bank shot and manages to hit the throne button, freeing Immortus and Rama-Tut.

Zemo protests that Immortus swore he’d make him whole again so Immortus turns Zemo into a shapeless, lifeless whole blob of protoplasm.

Should have gotten the agreement in print.

Meanwhile, we finally get back to our unlikely trio of Frankenstein, Human Torch, and dying Vision.

Human Torch reveals to an uncomprehending but attentively listening Frankenstein that Vision’s body is the Human Torch’s. Somehow. Despite being red now.

And he doesn’t want to watch himself die so he asks Frankenstein for permission to try to save Vision.

Elsewhere, Wonder Man is leading Kang to where he saw the dying Vision.

Kang has grown very, very frustrated with this whole endeavor. Which was his idea, remember.

Kang: “You had better be telling the truth, Simon Williams... for, I begin to doubt my wisdom in reviving you six incompetents. Also, I grow weary of this marching to and fro, thru endless tunnels... weary at the lack of scenery... the mindless monotony...!”

Sounds like schemers remorse.

Anyway, Thor shows up. Again. Here to give Kang a reckoning. Again.

Kang tells Wonder Man to hold Thor off so he can run but then Frankenstein and Human Torch arrive from the other direction.

And Human Torch says that as far as ‘Franky’ and him are concerned, this battle is over.

Kang tries yelling Frankenstein into line but one look at the monster’s grim eyes and Kang clams up.

And then Vision pops up from behind Frankenstein. He’s recovered, somewhat. But the exploding ghost damaged him so severely that his arm is hanging on by a thread.

Vision insists that Kang undo the wrong he’s done but there’s no such thing as sunk cost fallacy in Kang’s mind. He orders Wonder Man to smash Vision.

Wonder Man reluctantly obeys, even though he feels the strangest feeling like fighting Vision is fighting himself. Because they share brain patterns.

Not sure how Wonder Man senses that. That’s weird. This whole situation is so weird.

Anyway, Vision’s damage prevents him from going intangible and Wonder Man gets a good couple hits on him before Vision realizes he can still become diamond-hard.

RIP someone’s knuckles, again again.

Vision has the best powerset for trolling people, I swear. He either lets them break their fists on him or lets them fall through them and his finishing move is to jam his fist into someone’s chest. And if he gets bored he can just walk away through a wall.

But I guess Thor guesses that Vision has this handled because instead of helping Vision, he goes after Kang and smashes him against a wall through his force-field.

The march of technology pales next to Thor’s thews.

And Thor is ready to just up and kill a guy, even if in the process he brings the walls of Limbo down on his own head. Guy is in a berserker rage.

According to a caption box, Kang would have died if he hadn’t run, fleeing back into the time stream with some time machine built into his suit, I guess.

Thor is disappointed.

But Human Torch tells him that its more important that they help Vision. Who I guess beat Wonder Man after all.

Vision vouches for Human Torch and Frankenstein, for he would be dead without them.

Leaving Thor to wonder how these two managed to oppose Kang.

Vision speculates that Kang’s power over Frankenstein was incomplete because he is a special form of life. And that his power over Human Torch faded because the Torch was an android, not a human. And also because Human Torch is Vision.

So weird time nonsense, maybe.

And it does explain Vision’s recent claustrophobia and hydrophobia. The Human Torch was encased in cement or kept underwater to keep oxygen from reaching him because he reacted to oxygen by combusting. Constantly.

Also, Vision looks really bad here. Like, he’s got a robot black eye, a robot lump on his forehead, and robot blood trickling out of his mouth. Good job making him look like he had been put through the wringer.

Thor is baffled. He asks how the Human Torch became the Vision.

They got nuthin’.

But then everyone present in that scene is transported to Immortus’ throne room. By Immortus, natch.

Actually everyone still in the Labyrinth.

Including dead Iron Man, Mantis, and Midnight (still knocked the hell out).

Vision is alarmed by dead Iron Man and by Mantis’ seeming indifference to dead Iron Man.

But Immortus just ups and revives Iron Man. See, in Limbo time is weird. So Iron Man hasn’t drawn a breath or had a heartbeat in a while if we were talking about real time. But in Limbo, the space between heartbeats can be an instant or an hour as Immortus wills.

So only a second has passed since Iron Man was felled and Immortus just... gives him temporal magical CPR or repairs his chestplate pacemaker with zappy hand?

Look, Iron Man is alive. Don’t question it.

And Immortus isn’t done yet. He reverts Vision to the state that he was in before entering the Labyrinth, healing all the damage he took and restoring his arm.

He even restores the Ghost from explode to send him back in time. And reluctantly, with Hawkeye’s prodding, restores Zemo from goo and sends him back in time.

Hawkeye would be more comfortable knowing Zemo was in a grave and not slopping around as goo. He also makes the debatable point that not even a leftover unrepentant Nazi like Zemo deserves ‘I have no mouth and yet I must scream.’

Immortus finds Zemo a particularly distressing individual and only agrees with Hawkeye because it amuses him to put Zemo back in the mask he despised.

Rama-Tut decides his work here is done. Not that he did much after Giant-Size Avengers #2. And I’m not sure where he’s going. Is he just going to go back to Egypt? Wouldn’t that create a time paradox? Is he going to retire to Florida?

Anyway, he leaves Mantis the words of an obscure poet, all but forgotten in Kang’s 40th century: “To thine own self be true!”

She just glares at him until he vanishes.

And Immortus sends the rest of the Legion of the Unliving back to the time they were pulled from. All except Human Torch.

See, he decided that he wants to send Human Torch back in time to learn how his fate and the Vision’s became intertwined.

He can sympathize with being two or even three men.

Plot twist: Immortus is a Kang. He’s the version of Kang that’s even older than the old Rama-Tut version.

Geez. Kang is like a terrible male asshole version of the triple goddess. Maiden: Kang, Mother: Rama-Tut, Crone: Immortus.

Or not. Probably not. It just struck me how silly this whole thing was that it was Kang from different spots on his timestream yelling at and punching himself.

It was ‘I was such an asshole when I was a young man and if I could I would punch myself’ taken to ridiculous levels.

But also: this makes Immortus being surprised what a douche Kang was really stupid. Immortus should remember from two different angles the whole sudden but inevitable betrayal. So either he forgot because he’s super old or he decided to play along because he remembers Kang running away with his tail between his legs from an angry Thor.

Iron Man finds this whole thing way too confusing and Immortus basically says ‘good!’

So Thor once again asks the question: “How did the original Human Torch come to be -- the Vision?” with Vision’s answer this time being that we’re about to find out.

So next time back to Marvel Unlimited to continue this increasingly convoluted Celestial Madonna Saga in Avenger #133!