#there are definitely typos.

[shark-farm]

wieder zuhause.

ich kehre wider nach hause zurück. das ist das beste, diese süße zeit wo dir alles was dir gefehlt hat auffällt. der winter ist vor mit hier eingekehrt, den herbst habe ich verpasst und mit der kälte zieht berlin sich ganz eng und steif zusammen. als ich am morgen das hause verlasse, knistert das streusalz unter meinen stiefeln und ich fliege auf der brücke wie immer wenn es schneit erstmal fast auf den hintern. aber so habe ich es gern. auf der spree bildet sich eine dünne eisschicht, und ich kriege schon wieder blasen an den füßen. ein hund schüttelt sich hinter mir und das klingeln weckt in mir dir wonne. ganz sorgenfrei schlendere ich mit der tiefen sonne durch die straßen. in der sbahn stinkt's, trotzdem atme ich tief ein und aus. ich will mich an alles erinnen können. im buchladen sehen meine freunde von hinter einer seule im partnerlook fast aus wie ein liebespaar, das nebeneinander durch die politische literatur stöbert. ich auge diese augenblicke wie ein durstiger schwamm in mich auf, und das hörsüiel des alltags summt in meinen ohren; das sanfte zuklappen eines buches, das flüstern der cremigen seiten eines romans, die gedeckte stimme einer verkäuferin. in meinem kopf kommt alles zusammen wie eine sinfonie, und ich drücke die augen ganz fest zu, damit ich mir jedes detail einprägen kann.

die große vegetarische platte die wir uns beim dem libanesen auf der sonnenallee bestellen ist das bunteste, schönste und üppigstes festmal was ich je vor mir hatte. säure, süße und salziges tanzen auf meiner zunge einen walzer. und schon wieder schwellt mein herz vor glück an. der überzuckerte, heiße schwarztee macht mir wach und aufmerksam, und ich lausche wieder: die nicht entzifferbare ansage, das zischen aus der küche, das arabische gespräch aus der ecke welches ich nicht verstehe, ja selbst das schmatzen von meinen gegenübern was mich normalerweise verrückt machen würde. jedem geräusch schenke ich abwechselnd mein ohr, als ob ich durch dir radiosender stöbere. es kommt mir so irreal vor. das es diesen ort noch gibt, das ich ihn nach meiner langen abwesenheit noch anfassen, riechen und hören kann.

[yamujiburo]

i can't believe i never posted this here

[iheartmonaco]

HI CAN YOU PLEASE WRITE A FULL FIC ON THE VERSTAPPEN GOOD BOY TEXTS PLEASEEE

Good Boy

MV1 X GN!reader

Summary: max verstappen with a praise kink that's it that's the fic

Warnings: suggestive

Inspired by these texts

It started as a joke, really, when you said "you're such a good boy" to Max for the first time.

What shocked you was his reaction to it— the Dutchman, blunt as ever, replied, "I want to hear that in your actual voice, not through texts."

So here you were, with Max's head in your lap, petting him like he does to the cats. A soft sigh left his half-open mouth. You couldn't help but think of it as the perfect opportunity to try out what could be an amazing new addition to your sex lives.

As Max was coming close to the end of his ramble about the day's race, you ran your fingers through his hair and spoke softly, "You did so good today, baby. I'm so proud of you."

It was barely the starting, just typical praise you would always give him after a race, but his reaction was always so adorable you couldn't help but melt. Featherlight pink dusted his cheeks. "Mhm," he replied, lips pressed together in a small smile.

"Such a good boy, always making me so proud."

Heat rushed to his cheeks, cherry red now, as he struggled to keep a straight face. "Thank you, schatje."

You resumed patting his head, cooing softly, "You like that, baby? Like when I call you a good boy?"

Max was looking up at you with sultry eyes and his pupils blown wide. "Yeah," he whispered.

"Then why don't you get on your knees and give me a good reason to call you that, hm?" Max moved instantly, on his knees in front of you in what seemed to be 2 seconds at most. "You know what to do, right, pretty boy?"

He nodded, lips parted as his chest heaved for oxygen. He looked a little dizzy, pupils blown out and blushing down to his chest, and you were loving the effect the simple words had on him.

"Words, baby."

He swallowed dryly, his breath on your thigh. "Yes, schatje, please. Let me please you."

You decided to tease him a while longer, cupping his chin with one hand. "And why should Iet you do that, baby?"

His fingers toyed with the waistband of your sweatpants. "Because I wan— I wanna be a good boy. For you."

You lifted you hips, letting him take your pants off. "Oh, you already are, Max...

"you're such a good boy."

[apticho]

my hope, my star

[marlynnofmany]

First typo of the day: "crowcar" instead of "crowbar."

I will not get distracted by the idea of a crow steering with its beak. I won't. I will be strong.

[holoska]

my brother made me the best birthday card of all time ✨

the inside is just normal greeting card wording, but it has this on the back:

[kirby-the-gorb]

[dip-and-pip-chaos]

Do you ever just think about the way Dan and Phil talk about and to each other? Like Dan is so poetic and beautiful, whilst also being so unhinged and then Phil is more direct, he just says what he thinks, also being unhinged. Like it's beautiful and unsettling and chaotic, the way they say things like " we're a ranch metaphor" or "hello you stupid bitch" it's a love language like no other. Its so utterly them, no one would talk to their partner the way they do, it's ridiculous as a concept; imagine calling some a fucking ranch metaphor (affectionately or at all) like what do you mean?! You just casually say that! Actually that's the thing, they're so casual about it, they say these things to each other because why the fuck the not? They love each other in way no one will ever understand and this is how they show that love. It's nonsensical, it's raw, it's real, it's 15 fucking years of loving the same person, it's being safe and knowing each other better than they know themselves (probably) and honestly? Fuck yes, I'm so happy for them, it's profound and idiotic and I love them 🧡😭

[pix-writes]

So, I'm going to answer these two requests in the same post, because I feel if I did them seperately I'd probably end up repeating myself. Hope that's okay! (NSFW will be at the end of the post under a banner, so 18+ below!)

I think both the stan twins have a complicated relationship to the idea of being parents, whilst they are fond of their memories together as kids, they otherwise had an awful upbringing, whilst stan got kicked out as a teen, I don't think Ford would have had the greatest time either in still being in contact with his family, in fact I have a lot of theories that he more or less cut off contact with them by a certain point in his early adult life when conducting his research in the Falls.

I think their expeirences with how their parents got together and how Filbrick treated his sons as either means to an end or dead weight in his life, meant that they were never keen to start a family early on in their lives and 'settle down', stan more out of circumstances/ wanting to travel the world, and Ford out of wanting to focus on his career/ acheiving greatly in the fields he wished to pursue. However, they were raised around the 60's and would have faced at least some societal pressures and influence (even from their parents) that at some point they had to find a girl to marry and have children with. Whilst neither of the twins really exhibit a desire to fit into the norms of society, I think they definitely considered and probably even fantasised about their future as a parent, regardless if they truly wanted that future or not.

Ford I think would have the narrative of "Of course, once I've done x and researched x, then hopefully I'll find a woman that actually wants to talk to me and then maybe we'll get married and settle down once I'm x age..." and then, satisfied with his internal answer to those societal pressures get's on with his studies. I'm sure Ford has thought about it a lot and ruminated anxiously over the fact that he can't seem to connect with anyone on a deeper level, I mean its practically part of what drives him to study the abnormal in the first place! He's fantasised about meeting someone, who like him is strange and unusual in some way and as driven to seek out intellectual, academic pursuits. He thinks maybe they could focus on their careers together and settle down once you both get to a certain age. You may be 'older' parents by his parent's/generation's standards, but he's never really cared for that and it makes sense for him to focus on his career first and foremost, anyway. He's not putting anything off, not at all!

They both love their family still and love the twins deeply with all of that said, though! Ford in seeing them realises all that he has missed from his time in the portal, even though he feels its silly after all this time to regret the past, it does make him wonder the 'what ifs?' - if he had been more in the twins' lives up to this point, or if things had gone differently, would he have even learnt the lessons he needed to; or would he have been as absorbed into his career as he had been and not had them in his life?

Ford loves being around the twins, they're the most loveable pair of kids AND they're his family <3 Once he's starting to get over all that has happened he starts to really enjoy their precocious natures - it gives him a glimpse of what may have been, however small, into what it would be like to have children. I think he does think it over and considers if it would've made him happy. After all, he isn't his father, maybe he would've been better at raising them than his father had been with them...

So for the sake of one of these requests, let's say that he does want to be a father! HCs for dad!Ford and pregnant S/O:

Ford is going to put his all into reasearching potentially EVERYTHING there is to know about pregnancy, concieving (if you're purposefully putting effort into having kids, that is) and child rearing as he can before you do get pregnant/concieve. It's what he does best and he'll even be trying to research what the best parenting methods are and calculate the possibilities of what can go wrong for the baby, you, etc etc. I mean you can't go into anything unless you're 100% certain you're willing & ready to undergo any of the potential outcomes, right?

He has the best intentions, but if you really don't want to know all the freaky/dangerous outcomes that could happen to you and the future baby/babies, then you might need to have a firm conversation with him. Might have to also remind him that you need to be a team in this, parenting is one of the things with endless amounts of advice and not all of them are going to work or be ones you want to make, part of being a parent is finding out/knowing your style and not overthinking it (or at least trying to).

Will certainly do his own 'check-ups' on you in addition to you going for your regular doctors/hospital ones. Enrolls you both in a class for new parents, but ends up criticising it and is convinced that you can learn everything you need to know at home anyway (finally he sees the value of the internet!)

The fact that he is a lighter sleeper is both a blessing and a curse, he won't mind waking up for the baby any time day or night but when you're in the last trimester and you're uncomfortable he's likely not getting much sleep either! Will be incredibly attentive in trying to solve it though, and that goes for the rest of your pregnancy too! He's there to put oil over stretch marks, set out your vitamins, help you get the most comfortable positions, fetch whatever food you're craving and so on.

Never got to be at the twins' birth and so is absoluely not going to miss the birth of his children for anything! He does fear about things going wrong, though, doesn't think so at first but does have a few nightmares about it. Is anxious about your pregnancy being high risk, since multiples clarly run in his family and being an older parent. Wonders if the baby will have any 'abnormalities' like his polydactly and whilst he will accept his child 1 million percent, he is already worrying over how they will be recieved by others.

In labour, he's definitely in tune with you, he's not one of those lazy, unconcerned husbands that you see annoying/ignoring their pregnant wives in hospital. Is incredibly good at rolling with the punches in an emergency situation. Absolutely sobs when he gets to hold them for the first time. Eventually manages to relieve hold of them when Stan comes over after the birth by convincing him that you need him for something so he can get to hold is nibling, haha.

Loves to smooth his hands over your belly, is excited to feel the baby move and talks to them <3 Definitely the dad who plays them classical music as well!

I think that his S/O being pregnant he just gains a different, deeper appreciation for you! The fact that you're bringing life into the world is incredible and he's there when its wonderful and when its difficult, he knows it's not all rainbows and sunshine and will often tell you that if he could find a way to alleivate your pains or carry the baby himself he would!

Is very protective of you when you're pregnant, more so than he normally is in public. Hates when people cross boundaries and make you uncomfortable, gets especially mad at strangers wanting to touch you and will not let that happen if he's with you.

Ford as a dad would be amazing, he's not perfect by any means, but whatever his children are curious about he has a ready answer! Is actually good at getting to the root of the loop of 'why' questions into what they really want to know/do. You can often see him with his kids, looking up at him like he hung the stars because he has an answer for almost anything they can think of.

Whilst he has to very carefully shut away his lab and make sure it's under tighter security for the kids when they're younger, he now gets to do all sorts of nerdy things with them. Even runs his own smaller, simpler version of D&D&MD for them, ends up becoming a family tradition to have a 'games night' because of this.

Schooling is something he takes very seriously, and he can be a firm parent when he needs to, though debates on whether they should be homeschooled or not and for how long - whatever you settle on, he's going to make sure his kids have all the help they need with homework and will encourage them to take any extra curricular activities/hobbies they may want to do. Your kid shows an interest in music? He'd be showing them all the different instruments that they could maybe play! They want to join a sport, he'll be at every game!

Ford will be there to celebrate their acheivements in life, whatever they may do, I think he'd be a very supportive dad after the events of the show especially. And he'll be incredibly protective of them of course, no one is going to hurt them and get away with it lightly!

Not to mention these kids will have the most fun-loving chaotic uncle in the world! Ready to regale them with tales of all the adventures he and their dad have gone on ("please make it more G-rated, Stanley"), and when they're older cover for them when they want to do more rebellious things - Stan is going to make sure they get back home safe!

Now for the NSFW:

I think like I said, Ford generally isn't much into the idea of having kids --> but that doesn't mean you can't have a breeding kink!

The element of this kink that is so appealing to him is the 'claiming', the need to mark you in some way. He finds it hot to think about you being filled with his cum.

In the back of his mind he has a little voice that says he should feel some sort of shame for the dark, possessive nature of his thoughts around this kink, for wanting you to be 'mine' (his). Its almost like a ritual to him, to combine his cum with yours, to fill you; you are his and he is yours. He's not really religious, but I think in an intimate relationship he feels like he wants to be as close to you as possible, your his to worship and his to protect and keep safe and to pleasure. If he could find a way to meld souls and minds with you he'd be tempted to do it (but on the other side of things, especially ford post-bill betrayal, I think he's too independent to really do that haha).

It's practically filthy the amount of times he's imagined you pressed into the 'mating press' position, legs hiked up onto his shoulders.

When he finishes, wants you to hold his cum in, presses it back in with his fingers or gets you to raise your hips, legs crossed.

Surely thinks about the possibility of you getting pregnant from it. It sometimes creeps into his mind when he sees you interacting with the twins or other kids/babies. It makes him feel feral. Likes to think about what it would be like to see you pregnant, even if he doesn't actually want kids.

[jamietwat]

Jamie and Roy spending ridiculous amounts of time together and Phoebe knowing about it definitely means that Jamie’s around Phoebe a lot more in the off-season when she’s off school and Roy’s off work but still being Jamie’s personal trainer for free (and she definitely likes bossing Jamie around just as much as Roy does and finds the ridiculous shit Roy makes him do hilarious)

And you know that thing where kids love to randomly go watch this, I can do a somersault or want to see me do a cartwheel? and then you just have to awkwardly stand there and be like wow whether they actually can do them or not (and sometimes several times in a row have to try to think of something new to say the fifth time they do the exact same thing and then look to you for a reaction)

I’m just saying at some point they’re in some park and Phoebe definitely pulls a look how good I’m getting at cart wheels, Uncle Roy! around Jamie at some point and while Roy just stands there like 🧍‍♂️ and gives compliments that gradually get more and more deadpan and debates turning it into saying how much more impressive that is than anything Jamie’s done all morning but he doesn’t because he’s 90% sure that would just lead to Jamie getting all indignant and competitive and proving he can cartwheel too as if Roy isn’t already annoyingly aware of that from when he was dying trying to keep up with Jamie in Amsterdam while he was cartwheeling and practically skipping

But obviously Roy not saying anything doesn’t matter anyway and Jamie turns it into being like watch this to Phoebe and cartwheeling too and turning to Roy after like well go on, tell me how good I am at that too

Roy deadpans somehow it’s far less impressive watching a grown man cartwheel for attention. It’s just sad, really

But Jamie isn’t offended at all and just shoots Roy an obnoxious smirk and insists you’re just saying that because you know you couldn’t do one. Even trying would probably end with you needing a hip replacement or something

But before Roy can even properly argue or say something bitchy back, Jamie’s turning back to Phoebe with a how about this then? But even though it’s her he asks, it’s Roy he looks to the moment he finishes running a few steps and doing a one-handed cartwheel

And Jamie’s like well now are you impressed??? And god, Roy resents that he is and he could make a dig about how useless of a skill it was as an adult and how that wouldn’t accomplish anything on the pitch and he’d just look like one of the kids that picks flowers on the pitch instead of playing or even paying attention to where the ball is, but instead he rolls his eyes and says yeah okay

And Jamie beams but he doesn’t have time to properly gloat and give Roy shit because Phoebe’s already bossing him around telling him that he has to teach her how to do that too

[whatlurksbean]

question: is the plural of daisy in the comic "daisies" or "daisys"? I believe I have only seen the latter and I'm very curious!

Daisy’s refers to the cats, daisies are flowers!

[wisteriagoesvroom]

*gently pokes you with a stick til you write this*

Is there a plot, or just vibes... like what is going on in this universe... okay... *rolls sleeves up* lemme try to headcanon it a little:

Oscar is a rising star in product engineering, and was hired based on a prototype he was developing in his Imperial College dorm room. Barely settled into his new office gig, he is told to present a demo of said product on the mainstage of his tech company employer's next big conference, where they announce their latest product rollouts for the year.

Oscar really hates public speaking, and has never been very good at it. Enter Lando - deputy head of marketing and charmboy extraordinnaire - who is assigned to get him up to scratch.

Other universe details that probably only I care about: Adam Norris is the new CFO who brings his son into the picture. There are definitely two overworked interns on both their teams who have to manage all their weird quirks and Lando's idiosyncratic JIRA board hygiene. Surely there must be an ugly conference t-shirt. No wait– Oscar sleeps with Lando at the conference rehearsal, but the first time is kinda unexpected, and also Oscar spilled red wine on himself the previous night which necessitated him going up to Lando's hotel room for Plot Convenient Reasons (sex). Morning after, Oscar has to borrow one of Lando's t shirts and it ends up being a neon prototype that was manufactured as an error. And Oscar's like "you cannot expect me to walk out like this", and it's like. "Well either that or you walk around the city shirtless sorry mate." (Oscar takes the L, but he really hates green highlighters from that point on and nobody really knows why. Lando thinks it's hilarious and buys him copious amounts of hot chocolate to make up for it even though it was never his fault. He just likes buying hot chocolate for Oscar.)

There is also definitely an icebreaking joint activity that they both do, like indoor rock climbing, in order to get to know each other. Except Lando is like, spectacularly good at it, and Oscar (a) lies about his competency in rock climbing (b) is deathly afraid of heights. But Oscar refuses to be a wimp so doesn't say a single thing until he reaches the top of a really challenging wall and Lando is like: woah you did so amazing! Now let go and come down! and Oscar is like: I can't! Lando: wdym?? Oscar: I hate heights. Like "my sisters used to lure me to the roof with a ladder and then take the ladder away", hate heights. Lando: BRO.....your PRIDE.... (but he's also secretly going insane because Oscar clearly just wanted an excuse to spend the morning with him.)

Their first kiss is after Lando belays Oscar safely to the ground, obviously. Adrenalin, and stuff.

[sewersewersewercouch]

today on "things I didn't expect to age poorly": the fucking island of misfit objects song?????

[front-facing-pokemon]

[st4rstudent]

My yap session dynamics that are hard to read without zooming in. sorry

[kiisuuumii]

Mahmoud Darwish, In the Presence of Absence (tr. Sinan Antoon)