#there are audiobooks i just listen to and audiobooks i get fucking OBSESSED with and all the king's men was one of them

[queenerdloser]

all the president's men is on my list to read but i also want to shout out to robert penn warren's all the king's men which i listened to as an audiobook and is this beautiful, lyrical, devastating reflection on the way politics can infect and corrupt. it has one of my favorite doomed, codependent friendships of all time. so, so, so beautifull written, the prose in it made me weep. like not to be "all books that win the pulitizer deserve it" i'm sure there are some that deserve it more than others, but man i get why this book won.

also i know people have polarizing opinions on john steinbeck but if you haven't read anything of his outside of of mice and men in freshman year, the grapes of wrath and east of eden are honestly ridiculously good and heart-wrenching and furious in the right way. i read grapes of wrath for the first time as a full adult and was astonished by how much is resonated as i was mostly indifferent to of mice and men as a teenager.

read old books! read books even if you didn't like them in high school! i've said this before, but some books are really just going to hit different when you're adult and yes i'm including every book you found boring in english class.

No babe it’s so cool and hot that you always insist that fantasy books written to meet a 4th graders’ comprehension skills have more complex themes and a greater sense of praxis than anything written for adults

[bluesidez]

[The Ideal Gaze]

lab tester: @ichigosluvrr 🩻

pairing: DadBod!Miguel O’Hara x Fem!Reader

summary: Miguel is feeling a bit out of your league, so you remind him that he’s just in your lane. 

content warning: established relationship (they’re married with kids!), domestic fluff, mild hurt/comfort due to Miguel being an idiot that does not understand The Female Gaze, some miscommunication between reader and Miguel, 18+ so MDNI, a little raunchier than I intended tbh but hopefully I presented DB!Mig well, body worship, heated tension, reader is like obsessed with Miguel’s new Dad Bod, deepthroat 😗, missionary position, unprotected p in v sex (WRAP IT UP 🫵🏾), the word Ma as a term of endearment from Miguel to reader two times

word count: 5.3k, halfway proofread

a/n: Fulfilling this first because this was technically my first request! I added a few more elements (thank you Miguel server!), so I hope you don’t mind. There were no specific requests other than fluff and smut, so I went with the flow. I hope you enjoy! (Also, I found the original artist's post here!! Go give them some love!)

Your blood is pumping as you round the corner, only a few more steps until you reach the driveway. 

The jog today was pretty refreshing. There were no calls from work asking about things that could wait until 8 AM, no toddler fussing about waking up, and no child whining about getting homework done. It was just you, your FitBit, your steamy audiobook, and the lingering thoughts of meeting your husband’s eyes this morning. Lately, it’s been like a little game to rile him up. 

You’ve been married for a few years and a family of four for seven years with a sweet little girl, a second grader with the attitude of an old lady, and a precious little boy, a preschooler with keen intuition. With your lives being consumed with work and taking care of the kids, you feel like your relationship has been put on the back burner. Long gone were the days in which you two made love at the drop of a hat, fucking on anything that could hold you. Now, you were lucky enough to get a little dry humping.

It was getting depressing, and more annoyingly, frustrating, so you started to put your riled-up energy elsewhere. You were up at the crack of dawn making everyone’s lunches and going on occasional jogs, you were using your PTO for brunches with the girls and spa days, you had regular pilates classes, the real pilates, and most importantly, you were finding small pockets of time for yourself. 

From buying yourself small gifts to filling your Kindle with romance books to pleasuring yourself on the nights Miguel worked overtime. You were sure to keep yourself busy. All of that, and you still couldn’t get the thought of Miguel entangled with you out of your head. 

You heaved out as you stopped at the end of the driveway, taking a few breaths to calm your state. The book you were listening to was on a particularly enthralling scene and you wondered if it was something that Miguel would be interested in trying. 

You looked down at yourself and decided to unzip the top of your athletic jacket, letting the tightness of your bra and the fabric push your cleavage up. One smooth swipe of your clothes and you were walking to the front door. 

It was 6:40 AM, so there was plenty of time to have a little quiet moment with your husband. 

You walked into the kitchen and saw him standing in all of his glory. A newspaper in his left hand, because some things didn’t need to be digitized, a “Best Papá Ever” mug in his right hand, black glasses on his face, and your favorite thing, a naked plush torso on display. 

In the first years of parenthood, his metabolism was through the roof. Despite him joining you for every snack, meal, and midnight dessert, he never lost that tiny little waist or those washboard abs. It wasn’t until your youngest was born and babbling that his appearance started to change. His arms became a mix of muscle and cellulite, his thighs were softer than ever, his chest was full and plump, and his waist widened gifting you with his soft belly and a happy trail that continued to his belly button. 

The early time didn’t stop the coil of neediness in your stomach from forming. 

“Good morning, hubby,” you say with a lilt to your voice. You walked closer to him, an extra bounce in your step, and leaned on the island. 

Sure enough, Miguel was peeking at your chest from over his glasses, mug hovering over his lips. 

You only smiled coyly, waiting for his response. 

“Good morning. How was your jog?” he puts the newspaper and mug down, folding his arms under his chest. 

You stared at his bulging arms, pressed-up pecs, and his tummy that moved with him and almost whined. 

“It was really good. Super nice and refreshing. Maybe a little warm,” you crossed your legs, impatient. “How’s your morning so far?”

“It’s better,” he says, making the short distance to crowd your space. He leans over you, hands going to the island. “My wife is here now.”

You smile at his words, hands itching to touch him but not wanting to ruin the stride. Instead, you look up at him and pan his lips. 

“I’m feeling better, too,” you whisper, waiting. 

Miguel leans forward to press his lips onto yours, the smell of coffee hitting your senses. You feel little fireworks go off as he starts to open your mouth. Everything felt just right in this moment. 

When his hand slid across your back, you almost jumped up to wrap your legs around him. You tilted your head and wrapped your arms around his neck. You could feel yourself slipping against the counter, but Miguel was right there to steady you. 

For what felt like hours to you after so long of a heated connection, the two of you made out on the kitchen island. Only some birds chirping, the occasional car passing by, and the hum of the washing machine could be heard next to the sound of you both breathing into each other’s lips

“Come with me to the shower?” you say, eyes heavy and pleading. 

You could feel Miguel tense up, back rigid as he moved back. 

“I better stay. Raul might wake up soon and he was having a hard time sleeping last night.”

Your heart dropped at the rejection. You were hoping that this would be the one, the moment that you’ve been anticipating for months. Some form of sexual connection. 

“Ok. I’ll be out soon,” you turn and go to the master bathroom, tugging the zipper down hastily. You felt a bit dejected and embarrassed, but you’re trying to let it go. Your mommy side knows that your youngest woke up in distress last night so it makes perfect sense that Miguel wants to be alert for his cries, but your wife side wants her husband back and can’t help but feel like he didn’t want you. 

With this brisk shower, you hoped this self-doubt and neediness washed away with it. 

You tapped your fingers against the desk, staring off at your computer. Work today was slow, which you didn’t mind because that meant you could frequent your watchlist, but your mind kept wandering off while watching some random K-drama. 

Last night, you woke up to what sounded like Miguel getting off in the bathroom. 

He got off work super late that day, so you took the initiative to get the kids to bed and go to bed early. 

What you didn’t expect was to wake up to the sound of his grunts coming through the bathroom door. 

At first, you were a little hurt that he didn’t wake you up to help him out, but then you were so overcome by the sound of him whimpering and moaning that you couldn’t help but pleasure yourself. 

He sounded so desperate and wanton, cursing every once in a while. You bit your lip as you imagined him right next to you, voice right in your ear. You wanted his weight on you. You wanted to feel his skin against yours. 

You lay in the empty bed rubbing yourself until you came, his noises stopping a while before you finished. You were hoping he would come out and see you so you prolong your orgasm to no avail, sleep coming to claim you before he did. 

When you tried to ask him about it in the morning, he kept avoiding your eyes, saying something about his stomach giving him the blues. 

You let it go then, but that didn’t stop you from thinking about it all day. 

In a spur-of-the-moment decision, you decide to text him a flirty message, running to the bathroom to take a picture to match. You waited a little bit, hoping that he could take at least a peek. 

“You look gorgeous, honey.”

Just gorgeous? Not hot? Not good enough to make him want more?

You scrunched your mouth to the side, asking if he could send a picture back.

“Baby, you know I can’t. I’m at work right now.” 

You huffed at that. You knew he was just in his lab by himself. There was plenty of time and solitude to take a picture. He used to send random pictures of himself all of the time. 

For the rest of the day, you were irritated, feeling slighted at the hands of your husband.

You took a break from trying to seduce your husband, tired of the pushback. You put your all into taking care of the kids and maintaining the house when you could.

“And how many sticks does that leave Cassie with?” you asked Gabriella. You both were at the dining table with her math homework sprawled everywhere while dinner was in the oven. 

“27!” she shouted, voice becoming more confident over the course of the math sheet. 

“Correct! You’re knocking ‘em out, girl!”

“Buen trabajo, mija,” Miguel said with vigor as he came by to kiss the top of her head. “You’re doing so well.” (Good job, mija.)

“Does this mean I can get a cookie?” she asked, quick to melt her father’s heart.

“Not before dinner, Gabriella, you know this,” Miguel bounced Raul in his arms, a little fussy and sniffly. 

“Please, papá!” she looked up at him with big brown eyes and a pout.  

Miguel sighed, unable to say no to her 9 times out of 10. 

He looked at you frantically, watching you snickering behind your hands, “You have to ask Mamá.”

Whenever he really wanted to say no, he used you as a trump card.

Gabriella’s shoulders drop as she turns to you, already knowing the drill.

“The answer is no. You can wait until after dinner,” you say, squeezing her cheek.

“You always say no,” Gabriella whines dramatically, slumping in her seat with her arms crossed, pout just like her dad’s.

“And you can always go to bed with no cookies,” you chide as you get up to go check on dinner. “Now go put your homework up and wash your hands, dinner is almost ready.”

She puts her papers back in her folder with the theatrics of a Broadway actor, sighing dramatically with each step she took to her room.

Miguel laughed at her actions watching her leave, “She’s just like her Mami when she gets like that. Fussy.”

You pause to put your hand on your hip, “No, she’s just like her Father when she can’t get her way. Whiny.” You open the oven and pull the lasagna out to the stove to cool a bit. 

“Well, I can’t say no to her just like I can’t say no to you,” he says, placing Raul at the table with a hand running over his soft hair. “You both have the same puppy-dog eyes.”

“You like leaving the hard parenting to me.”

“That is not true. I just tussled with a four-year-old to get him to take his cold medicine and made a promise of not one, but two bedtime stories,” he says, coming up behind you as you reached to get the dishes. He got them down for you instead, hand on your hips and stomach pressed against your back.

You bite your tongue in order not to will your negligent, horny brain from awakening. You didn’t have time for those thoughts, little feet were near, and every advance you gave him ended in failure. 

“Is he doing ok?” you say, referring to Raul he sat at the table with his head down, a teddy bear hugged against him as he pitifully moved his toy car back and forth. It was definitely a big shift from his usual talkative demeanor.

“We might have to go to the doctor again. His allergies are really acting up.”

You leave Miguel’s side to go squat down by Raul, “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

You rubbed his back, trying to see if he felt warmer than usual and sure enough, he was burning up.

“My throat hurts, Mama,” he said, little voice just about gone. 

“Oh, I know, my sweet baby,” you say with a soft voice. “Do you want me to make you some alphabet soup?”

Raul’s face twists up, lip a little wobbly, “But I want some cheese noodles.”

“Hey, it’s ok!. You can have some lasagna. I just want your throat to feel better. Hot things will make it feel better.”

“The cheese noodles are hot, too.”

You smiled, “That’s right, the cheese noodles are hot, but I mean a hot liquid.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, hands squeezing his teddy bear as he thought, “Can I have hot chocolate?”

“Of course you can. Can I give you a kiss?”

He nods his head slowly and you lean over to kiss his head. You needed to get him under the covers soon. Before you could pull away, he wrapped his arms around your neck, snuggling up to be held. You couldn’t resist holding your baby, especially when you couldn’t take his pain away. 

You get up to see Miguel helping Gabriella plate the slices of lasagna on each plate and setting up the side salad. Your heart filled with joy watching them giggle over the stretchy cheese. It was moments like this that reminded you that you were taking the right steps, that this was the perfect little life.  

As they set up the table with the plates and drinks, you kept Raul in your arms, ready to help him with tonight's dinner. 

“Thank you for the food, Mommy,” Gabriella said with a toothy smile. 

“You’re welcome, baby,” you say, cutting Raul’s food up even smaller, not wanting him to struggle any more than he had to tonight. 

The table was quiet, save for Gabriella and Miguel smacking their food occasionally and Raul’s wheezy breaths. 

By the time dinner was over, Gabriella was buzzing in her seat for cookies, and Raul was close to falling asleep in your arms. 

You couldn’t ask for anything better. 

With Raul sound asleep, Gabriella tucked in bed, and Miguel watching cable, you had a moment to yourself to think. 

Did today’s small touches mean anything?

You stood in the bathroom moisturizing your skin after a hot bath. You said you were going to stop trying to fish for your husband’s attention, but if you were honest, today’s brief moment of connection did it for you. You couldn’t stop your thoughts once you were alone.

You decide to wear just a pair of panties and one of his old t-shirts to bed: a look that wasn’t trying too hard to get his attention, but you’re sure he’s going to notice it. 

You sat on the bed and decided to read until he came into the room. You hope you were giving a sexy girlfriend vibe. Your skin was all smooth, you smelled good, and you knew you looked good. 

When Miguel walks in, he pauses at the door to stare at you. 

“Why are you looking at me like that? Come to bed,” you say. 

Hook, line, and sinker. 

Miguel shuffled over, eyeing you from head to toe. He looked delicious in his tank top, fabric stretched in the best possible ways.

He crawled on the bed next to you, “My band t-shirt?”

“Yeah! It’s comfy.”

He rubbed his hand up your naked thigh and your nerves started to sing. Any further up, and you might just wet your panties from his touch alone. You missed it so much. 

He leaned over to kiss the juncture your neck and shoulder, your neck, your cheek, and then he stopped. 

He just…stopped.

“Well, I gotta go in earlier tomorrow, so I’m going to sleep early. Is it ok if I turn this light off?

You felt your throat dry up, “Yeah, ok.”

He got under the sheets and switched his lamp off, leaving you in the dark with the faint light of your Kindle illuminating the room.

“Goodnight, honey,” he said with a yawn. 

“Night.”

You turned your Kindle off and just sat in silence, his snores breaking the illusion of the dark consuming you. 

You’re starting to think the worst. 

You kept up a number of tactics subtle to glaringly obvious to appeal to your husband from changing up your perfume to what you would say was an amazing strip tease. Absolutely nothing is working. 

He kept listing off excuses from the kids to his job to his parents to his brother, anything to avoid an intimate session with you. He even chose a night out with his boys over a night in bed with you which was jarring because he always made you feel good before going out to have a good time. 

Did he not find you attractive anymore? You knew childbirth brought a lot of change, but you were still the same woman he met and fell in love with. 

Did he not love you anymore? He often praised you for being a good mom and his pet names never stopped, but after that, his declaration of love for you had been very surface-level.

Is he cheating on you?

You really didn’t want to entertain that thought, but your heart couldn’t take any more pain than it already had. 

So, one day when you say you’re taking the kids to the park, you drop them off at your mom’s place instead, hoping that if there was something going on, no little hearts would be broken once you unleash a beast in the house. 

You pull back in the driveway to see that he’s still here, just as you suspected. You make your way quietly through the house, inching closer to you all’s bedroom. 

Your heart almost stops when you hear the sound of Miguel’s voice, high and breathy in a way that should only reach your ears. You don’t think when you swing the door open, adrenaline pumping high.  

Miguel yells, scared to death but alone. 

“What are you doing?” you ask, voice frustrated.

“What am I doing? What are you doing?”

You look at the state he’s in, shirt up, waistband under his dick, and a mystery fabric in his hand. 

“Were you getting off?” you say, hands dropping to your side. “Do you…do you not love me anymore?”

“What?”

“Do you. Not. Love me anymore. You avoid me every time I’ve tried to initiate something with you. We haven’t made love in so long. You keep making excuses to not be alone with me. You don’t even want to do normal things with me like send pictures or makeout until we’re out of breath. I’ve heard you in the bathroom during the night and now you’re here doing the same thing, without me, your wife.” Your eyes start to water after it all, feeling utter defeat. 

“Cariño, this is a misunderstanding,” he pleads, voice distraught. “I do love you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

“Then why are you doing this to me?”

“Because,” he pauses, fixing his clothes to have some decency. “I…haven’t felt the greatest about my body.”

Your tears dry up as soon as the statement resonates, “What? What do you mean?”

Miguel sighs.

“Lately, it’s getting harder and harder for my old clothes to fit me anymore, I’m way too busy to hit the gym and more than anything, I think you deserve a man who’s a little less,” he gestures to himself, “let go.”

“Says who?”

He looks at you as if you’ve grown two heads, “Uh, everybody?”

“Well, who is everybody because I’d like to strangle them for letting you think that my husband isn’t good enough for me.” You walk deeper into the bedroom crowding Miguel’s space. “You’ll always be perfect for me. The vows I promised to you will not be broken over something so normal as weight gain.”

He looked like he could cry. 

“Why did you hide you were feeling this way, baby?” you hold his head in your hands scratching at his scalp. 

“It felt stupid and silly. You’ve been doing so well socially and physically, I wanted to see if I could fix it on my own before bringing you down with my problems.”

“Miguel O’Hara,” you say, gripping his jaw firmly. “I’m your wife. I might not be able to solve everything, but at the very least, you need to talk to me. Tell me how you’re feeling, express yourself with words. Don’t hide.”

He wrapped his arms around you, sniffling, “I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

You pressed a long kiss into his scalp, rubbing his back. 

“Oh my gosh,” you chuckled. “You were feeling so much internally, meanwhile I was practically screaming at you to fuck me. I thought you weren’t attracted to me anymore.��� 

So much for communication. 

Miguel just burried his face in your chest while he groaned, “That’s the thing! You were driving me crazy with your tight little workout clothes and your lingerie. You looked so good, but I couldn’t get out of my own head. I’ve been…”

“You’ve been what?”

“I,” he got red in the face. “I’ve been using your underwear.”

You look down to Miguel’s crumbled up hand and it was in fact your underwear from the night you wore his band t-shirt, drenched in his essence.

Your stomach turned with excitement.

“So this is what you were doing in the bathroom in the middle of the night, hm? Using my panties? Giving them more action and attention than me?”

Miguel nodded, eyes hazy.

“Did it feel good?”

Another nod.

“I bet it did. I would wake up and hear you trying so hard to cum.”

You don’t know how, but his face got even warmer.

“You left your poor wife all alone, thinking about you on top of her until she came too.”

“I did?”

“You didn’t know?” you ask, playfully. “I was up all night imagining you walking out to see me. I wanted these arms to come and hold me.”

You squeeze at his arms on your sides. 

“I wanted your weight on me. I wanted your chest against mine.I needed you so bad.”

You move to sit in his lap, knees on the side of him.

“You do such a great job of being a father. This beautiful change in your body is only proof of your hard work and dedication. It’s proof of love for your family.”

Miguel only melted in your hands, face a cloud of emotion.

“I love you, Miguel. I adore you. I yearn for you. I want you.”

With every declaration, came a kiss to his lips.

“Can I show you how much I love you?”

“Please.”

With that, you took his shirt off and made your way down his chest. You lingered around his chest, holding his pecs as you kissed them all over. You couldn’t stop your moans as your tongue felt across the hairy planes of his chest, sucking and pulling on his nipples. Miguel shudders as you pay special attention to them, sensitive after not being with you for so long.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this,” you breathe into his skin. You slide onto the floor and just press your face into his stomach.

“You like it that much?”

“Love it. You look so yummy walking around. You could be just standing there and I get so,” you cut yourself off, trying not to overwhelm him with just how much you were feeling. “You’re hot, baby.”

You kiss down his happy trail to reach his pants, his stomach twitching. You tugged a bit too hard on his pants, causing him to laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” you say with a pout. 

“I haven’t seen you like this since we won that couple’s retreat.”

“Not my fault. You were all sexy up there, beating the other husbands with your big brain. It was doing something to me.”

You finished pulling and you could almost cry with joy when Miguel’s cock springs next to your head. The sound you make when you see it also has Miguel wound tight. 

Completely taken over by your neediness and desperation, you pull one of his thick legs over your shoulder, kissing and sucking on the skin while your fingertips dance around the entirety of his length. 

The display of strength shocks Miguel who drips and whines at your actions. 

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby. Do you want that?”

“Yes,” he whispers. 

You cup him while you take his head in your mouth. It felt like pure bliss to have that familiar taste in your mouth. With the way you were humming, Miguel can tell that you were about to put him to sleep. 

You took no time letting your tongue stretch to take more of him in. Your cheeks hollow as you go further, one hand kneading at the thigh you were holding and the other switching from fondling him to wrapping around the base of his length. 

“God,” Miguel’s voice filled the room, the loudest it had been for the past few months. “I don’t think I’ll last that long.”

You let go of him and lick down the sides, “That’s because you’re too busy fucking other things instead of me.”

“’M sorry,” he whined as you went back down on him. “I-I was still thinking of you and, ngh, wanting you.”

“Mm hm,” your voice sent shocks down his spine as you didn’t let go. He moved his hips steadily, dick sliding in and out of your mouth and pudge occasionally pressing against your face. 

The faster he went, the noisier the sounds got. He moved his hands to your head, thighs eerily close to tightening around your face. You couldn’t have it any better. 

You dug your nails into his hips, throat contracting in order to take him in. Even with your jaw slacked, it’s been so long since you took him like this that you gagged more often than not. With every sound of your throat struggling, Miguel shouted your name, hands gripping tighter on your hair.

You could tell he was close by the way his thigh was tensing on your shoulder, so when he said the four words, you took him to the hilt, face completely pressed against him. 

“Shit!” he felt like passing out as he released into your throat. You swallowed as much as you could, but you couldn’t take it all, saliva and cum esxaping down your chin to his balls. 

He grunts when he pulls you off, chest moving sporadically. 

You lick your lips and let out a satisfied sigh, “Finally.”

Miguel could only chuckle as he laid back on the bed. You crawled on top of him, sitting on his thighs with a smile. You rub your hands on the skin of stomach, slowly getting to his chest, “I’m like, really wet right now if you want some more painties to use.”

He growled as he pulled you closer.

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Nope,” you say, popping the P. “I really want you to do it in front of me. Maybe send me a video for the nights you work overtime.”

He had the nerve to look embarrassed as he wrapped his arms around your back, “I might be able to arrange that.” He kissed your lips to distract you from speaking on it further.

After Miguel returned the favor with his head between your legs, the both of you were enjoying a quiet moment together before having to go pick up the kids.

“I can’t believe you thought I was cheating on you,” Miguel said as you were drawing circles on his chest.

“Miguel,” you say, lifting your head. “I pulled all the stops. I did things that I knew you loved: the t-shirts, going commando, the flirty pictures. I even brought whipped cream to the bedroom and you told me ‘I can’t eat that, it’ll blow up my stomach,’ when you were literally in the kitchen taking shots of it the night before.”

“Ok. So I see how you might have gotten to that ludicrous conclusion, but did you not notice how much I’ve been staring at you?”

You clicked your teeth, “Yeah, but what does that mean when you don’t act on it?”

Miguel twisted his lip, “Will you feel better if I told you that your work pictures turned me on too?”

You pinched him resulting in a yelp, “I’ll feel better right now if you give me a shower round.”

He pulled you in his arms as he got out of the bed, “Let’s go before your mom calls.”

You giggle and swing your feet on the way.

After your afternoon of praising his body, Miguel emerged as his previous confident self. This meant more days with him walking around shirtless, more quickies in the morning, makeouts that ended in pleasure, him smacking your ass, you smacking his ass back, and sex. Lots and lots of sex.

Right now, Raul was down for a nap and Gabriella was enjoying her tablet time. 

You, however, were clawing at Miguel’s back like a cat as he pounded you into the mattress. 

“Fuck!” you shouted, eyelids fluttering as Miguel’s cock dragged across your walls. “It feels so good.”

“Quiet, mi vida,” he whispered. “The kids are in their rooms.”

You were quick to cover your mouth, moans muffled. It really didn’t matter because the creaks of the bed were just as loud as you. One change in position and the headboard denting the walls could be added to it. 

It was all too much. 

First, he woke you up with kisses down your body and a promise to lighten your load around the house. Then, he got the kids up and prepared breakfast with the help of Raul. Later while you were out running errands, he sent you a coupon for a spa that just opened up down the street and warm message. 

Now, he has you losing your mind with his hips slapping against yours, whispering praises in your ear.

“Miguel!”

“Hm? Talk to me.”

“I-I can’t-” your voice keeps getting louder unintentionally. He was so calm while he was reaching so deep inside. Your mind was hazy, wanting nothing more than him to keep going.

“You’re doing so good, Ma. You’re so good to me and the kids. You’re such a beautiful wife. Such a pretty Mama. Just wanna make you feel good.”

You felt yourself clench around him at his words, tears falling across your temples. He kissed your tears tenderly, strokes getting deeper. 

“M-Miguel,” you say with your heart full. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. So, so deeply,”

That was all it took for you to suck him in and scream into his shoulder, nails digging into his shoulder blades. His release was soon after, painting your walls with his lips pressed against your ear.

“Papá! You have to be more careful,” Gabriella fussed with her hands on her hips while Miguel was in the kitchen trying to make the family a snack. “You got hurt at work!”

Miguel paused and reached behind his back, fingers roaming over the healing scratches on his shoulder from his last session with you. 

You covered your teeth with your lips as Miguel turned to look at you with his eyebrows raised. 

“It’s ok, mija. Papá is tough!”

“But you gotta put something on it,” Gabriella said with a huff.

“Thank you for your concern, nena. I’ll get Mamá to take care of it, ok?” he ruffled her hair as he handed her a plate of bunny-shaped apple slices. “Now go sit with your brother and watch some TV.”

Miguel huffed as he walked up to the side of you with his arms crossed.

“What? You should put your shirt on!”

“That’s not what you said when you-”

“Hush and go get the aloe.”

Miguel snickered as he gave your lips a peck, “Yeah, yeah.”

Life was wonderfully sweet.

With that, my first request is done! As always, like, reblog, and COMMENT. Let me know how you guys feel! 🩵

[teafaellana]

Just watched season 2, episode 7 of Wheel of Time.

So, we’re sobbing, right?? My poor, poor heart.

Also, I don’t know if I will ever recover from Siuan just … forcing Moiraine against her will to close the way gate????????????????!!!? That was paaaaaain. And then … and then Moiraine, leaving her?? On the GROUND??

But also LAN?! Figuring out what was going on with Moiraine?!!? Just … fucking BEING THERE? 😭🥹

And listen … this show gives me too many feelings. I’ve also started listening to the audiobook for book 1 because I’m obsessed and cannot get enough lol

Anyway, reasonably it should take time because they are both feeling all sorts of betrayed but I am hoping my fishwives get a happy ending- at least in the show.

And I am so glad Moiraine (Mom) and Lan (Dad) are back together again. I was sad when they weren’t.

[sout999]

adhd talk

the third truly unsung project alongside my film and dissertation was the weird amount of targeted effort i had to put into Completing Anything Big As A Neurodivergent Person Whose Brain Is A Crazy Off The Rails Train Staffed and Patronised Entirely By Multiple Exact Copies Of The Squirrel From Ice Age

which is a description like 99/100 people reading this can relate to, but i think a sentiment i see less often and therefore feel kind of stupid and stubborn and lonesome about is "adhd is innate but is also exasperated by hectic lifestyle/modern instant gratification machines so if i fix my habits around those i can cure myself forever". which is silly and wrong but also i feel abit disconnected from adhd social media culture and cant cope just relating to it (which is all it seems to be sometimes) but learning to harness or tame it to do the things that are really important to me

i felt really cringe tbh having to look up youtube videos of HARVARD STUDENT REVEALS PRO STUDY TRICK and then narrowing it down to specifically adhd-focused study videos and keeping a planner and setting aside specific time to study studying and practising anti-academic meltdown journaling techniques and reading fucking atomic habits but i really didn't want to contribute to my abhorrent academic record following me all through undergrad. in fact i wish i had done this sooner but i was not self aware enough to consider the fact

probably the best change i made was severely cutting down or being mindful of social media time, i don't backread my tl anymore and have more moments of awareness when i find myself dumbly scrolling and realize i dont want to be doing this, and then wondering what i actually Do want to be doing. i keep a book nearby to read, and have also swapped a lot of social media time to sketching-off-pinterest time. reading about the psychology behind social media apps is also super interesting, although i always feel like a paranoid wacko conspiracy theorist talking about it. stuff like how negativity and judgemental behaviour is good for engagement (and therefore ad revenue), and how if all posts on your tl were interesting you wouldn't be as addicted to social media as you are, therefore microblogging employs a slot machine/gacha system where you "roll" for posts by logging on and hope to get a good one. it's a little full on but the more i think of it as a revolting and evil machine the more incentive i have to do something else with my time ^q^

a harder thing to do was, in the late stages of the project, the real crunch time month, avoid everything that could become a huge hyperfixation, and then eventually even minor distractions or fixations. because i know if i got super obsessed with something i'd just be up posting about it or drawing fanart. i had to bar myself from persona 3 remake and elden ring dlc and all these other shiny new releases, and the mobile games i was playing... i look forward to catching up on them now. i took up reading books a lot more because unfortunately thats just not as exciting. in the last month of film work i stopped listening to music on my computer so i wouldnt get drawing or animation ideas to distract me from film work. as of writing this i havent listened to music in like 40 days guys 😱 at the same time i am the kind of person who needs background noise to work, so i have:

watched novum's four hour hereditary video essay three times

watched novum's seven hour midsomar video essay three times

watched that one five hour bojack horseman retrospective twice

listened to audiobooks of the Britney Spears biography, Jennette McCurdy biography, three Playboy Bunny biographies (i was on some sort of lady bopgraphy kick i guess), and a few fiction books

rewatched all of bojack horseman

started on House MD and got a few seasons in before i finished the project, amazingly the perfect show to look away from bc of all the medical stuff, how many lumbar punctures do you need to show like seriously

honorable mention to the learned skill of communication and being honest and picking your battles and killing your darlings which is a larger part of managing mental illness than i cared to admit but one of the hardest ones because it involved confronting things and making big painful drastic changes and then having to tell the faculty about them. sometimes i'd be stuck on a piece of animation work for weeks/months, then go back and change the underlying idea to one i'm actually passionate about, and do the animation work in one day using newly found magical hyperfocus passion power. it's crazy! but being able to be confident about taking those steps rather than keeping on with what you're "supposed" to do went a long way.

i very much look forward to listening to a music and playing some video games properly now and being pulverized like a small victorian child from the sheer amount of fun i'm having. i'd say it was all worth it and a fun experiment in channeling the magical humours of passion and boredom and i hope it will help me with future projects too. i Am super burnt out though x__ x thanks for reading and for all your support up until now!

[gaybellethorn]

i started listening to the first shannon hale eah book on my walk earlier and it's so good. hale you mad bitch <3!!!!!!!

raven being a swiftie (taylor quick........obsessed) and apple being a directioner ("you don't know youre charming" in universe pointing to the real life charming family. CRAZY.)

apple keeping a basket of candy and coins at her bedroom balcony to throw down to her adoring masses PLEASEEEEE . all her kingdom management classes amassing to this she's so FUNNY.

relatedly, how frustrated she gets at the end of her first chapter that people are only gonna grade her on being a good snow white based on how pretty she is and not on how hard she's studying to be a good ruler. very very juicy very interesting characterisation very interesting take for a snow white character. but also. the chapter starts with her naming the dwarves by derogatory nicknames ("my name is frank," pouty said poutily) and the narrative itself superimposing her names onto them in the dialogue tags. SO FUCKING GOOD. APPLE YOU SILLY BITCH.

hale's distate for apple's dad bleeding into the description i looooove it. "keeping a hand on the hilt of his blade as if ready for battle at a moment's notice, but of course he had never been in battle. his only claim to fame was falling in love with a comatose woman in a glass coffin in the woods" damn hit him again for me!!!!!

BUT this coming from apple's pov???? EXQUISITE!!!!!! god that's so fucking INTERESTING and really doubles down on her looking up to her mam and wanting to be the best ruler she can be, because no one's gonna help her out later! i haven't gotten to apple interacting with daring yet, but that's gonna be such an interesting lens to read their relationship through as well if she considers his role in the story like. repulsive!

also just an interesting contrast to raven's relationship with her parents, where she loves her dad and wishes her mam wouldn't belittle him in their convo. oh sidebar there was a description like, raven's mam did love her, in her own way. hope was like a sticky syrup and raven wished she could drink it down just one more time. auggghhh ravennnn :( <33333

back to apple, i liked the little detail about snow having this squeaky high pitched voice, and apple musing that being stranded in the woods with the squirrels may have done a number on her. i think she gives a length of time there, either weeks or months? i hadn't considered that being part of the snow white legacy, that's interesting ! especially after thinkng of her dad as a useless bum ass nobody like 😭

looooove getting raven's introspection around her mam. the mirror scene at the start is so so good. ugh then when she's talking to apple and she notices how slouchy and unkempt she is next to her. and she tries standing properly but she knows she comes off as too tall, too gaunt comparatively. and then she reprimands herself like 'stop comparing yourself to her, that's probably how mom turned out the way she did' AUGH ? that being the first indicator that raven can understand how that path unfurls in front of her, how she could easily take those same steps. sooo juicy

also looove her relationship with baba yaga so far. it's really interesting that baba yaga is compared/contrasted to raven's mam, i wanna keep an eye on how that relationship develops

baba yaga using an actual spray bottle on raven when she starts voicing rebel thoughts PLEASE‼️ raven grumpily looking into the princess' advisor office (run by the white queen! cute detail) where theyre given tea and plush chairs and noticing that there isn't a spray bottle in sight. MWAH.

oh ! and the detail about it being maddie who asks raven point blank "if you weren't destined to be the evil queen, you would...?" as part of this wonderland word game that she doesn't think anything more of, but raven is left speechless because she's never been allowed to consider it before. really sweet moment between them! :)

im like an hour into this 6.5hr audiobook. the voice actor is doing a wonderful job, i really like her voices for raven and apple in particular so far. i definitely wanna keep going on it! i will listen to it on walks i think :^)

[jin-mukang]

I finally finished reading Tress of the Emerald Sea. A little late, I know, but hey, this has been the first book I've physically (ebook) read myself and not listened to as an audiobook in years.

Anyways, I just wanted to sing my praise for Brandon Sanderson writing a predictable book.

More under the cut cuz spoilers and rambling

Lately, I feel like a lot of media has gotten this hate train for predicability. Marvel, for one, is an easy example. But there's also things like movies and shows made with an already popular IP that is another example. Directors, authors, writers, everyone seems so obsessed with shocking the consumer. They want endings that come out of nowhere, leaving the consumer feeling nothing but awe struck whiplash. And quite frankly, I've gotten real tired of that years ago.

Anyways, I'm rambling.

When I first started reading Tress, the first thing I predicted was "Tress is going to be a knight in shining armor, Charlie will be the damsel in distress". I knew this, because when Tress and Charlie were talking about damels and knights, they talked about it specifying how Tress wouldn't be a very good damsel, and Charlie wouldn't be a very good knight. It's an easy conclusion for a reader to come to for there to be a role reversal, so when it actually happened, all I could feel was relief. Thank GOD the story went along my prediction. I got very excited thinking that Tress would be doing the rescuing, and if that didn't happen, I would have been disappointed, not shocked by how unpredictable it turned out to be. I didn't want a "Tress is the damsel, but wait, there's a twist!" Situation. The way they talked suggested a role reversal, and that conversation would have meant nothing if it went any other way. It would have just been a rude gesture of "hah! You thought you could predict the story by just this conversation! You fool! I tricked you! I purposely put in this conversation to trick you!"

Lemme get it clear that I don't expect Brandon Sanderson to write like that. Admittedly, when I pledged to the Kickstarter, I hadn't actually read a single book from Brandon Sanderson. I had NO CLUE what I was getting into, but it seemed like the perfect deadline to actually sit down and go through the Cosmere stories before the books started getting sent. Trust me, if I didn't spend money on the Kickstarter, I never would have picked up The Way of Kings. I've been frightened of that book since Junior High. It's been haunting the corners of my mind every time I visit the library. It looks like a good book! It's just so fucking long! So yeah, I spent money on a Kickstarter for an author I've never read a book from before. And I'm glad I did. I got through Stormlight, in getting through Mistborn, I love these books so much.

ANYWAYS. I just want to stress because of how much I loved Stormlight and Mistborn, I truly didn't expect Brandon to do a "HAH! FOOLED YOU WITH MY FALSE LEAD!". In fact, going into Tress, when I saw that foreshadowing, I knew I could trust it. And it still felt so rewarding for that little, easy to come to prediction, to actually come into reality.

So, when I met Huck, I knew the moment we learnt about the Sorceress's curses, that Huck was Charlie. This prediction was a little harder to stick to, but the subtle inconsistencies of Huck's story and goals kept me firm on it, but it was also done with such care that I knew if I was wrong, then there's surely something that makes sense and will wow me anyways. I wouldn't be disappointed that Huck wasn't Charlie, the book didn't lead you on to focus on that.

And then, this is where Brandon Sanderson does throw you in for a loop. It's so subtly obvious that Huck is Charlie, but then Tress gets to the Sorceress and suddenly, just for a page, you're confronted with a human Charlie who is so so Charlie and you're stopped there thinking "wait, where's the catch? How are Charlie and Huck not the same?" And you're suddenly confronted that not only did Tress change, but you as the reader changed too. At the beginning of the book, you know they're perfect for each other, you want to rescue Charlie too, you want them together and happy, but Charlie didn't change. He's the same. The same old Charlie... just doesn't seem right for Tress anymore. She doesn't seem happy. You don't feel happy. All the Sorceress wanted were her cups? But what about Huck?

What about Huck.

And then, Tress realizes, and you nearly jump out of your chair screaming when she realizes YOU were right all along. Huck is Charlie! This human Charlie is a fake!! Tress goes back to the Sorceress to demand her real Charlie back.

It was so exciting. So so so enjoyable.

Anyways, this isn't to say I think the story was purposely predictable, or that it was meant to be guessed ahead of time, but man, it was so so nice to see a story just. Happen. There's so many things Tress of the Emerald Sea could be complimented about, but I haven't seen anyone talk about the predicability of the story itself, and how it's done so well, and proves that shock factor doesn't make a good story, a good story makes a good story, and sometimes good stories are oh so delightfully predicable.

[pokimoko]

Get to Know me Tag!

Thank you @greentea-and-honey for tagging me in your post :D! I'll tag in @tiptapricot, @theophagism, @thealterscrolls and @duck-in-a-spaceship. :)

Last Song: 'The Rain' by Little Quirks. They're a band I only discovered somewhat recently but they're from the same region of NSW I grew up in, so that's pretty sweet. This song in particular is one of my favourites of theirs.

Favourite Colour: Purple equally tied with blue. I can never decide which I prefer more, I'm a very big fan of both. 💜💙

Last Book: I've almost finished reading 'The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida' by Shehan Karunatilaka, and I'm also in the middle of listening to the audiobook for 'The Haunting of Hill House' by Shirley Jackson.

Last Movie: I watched 'The Thing' (1982) last weekend. It's been on my to-watch list for yonks (because wintery horror is right up my alley) so it was nice to finally get around to watching it.

Last TV Show: 'The Outlaws' (BBC), which was a fucking amazing show. Not only was it as funny as it was thrilling, it had not one but two separate platonic male/female friendships! Big fan of those, me, and of character growth, which there was aplenty. The simplest way I can describe the show's plot is 'found family do crime, fail upwards in exceedingly elaborate and impressive ways, and grow as people together'. I highly recommend.

Sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet tooth all the way baby.

Last thing I googled: Was 'faerie research references' to help with the fic I'm currently writing, which you'll hopefully be seeing very soon ;). 

Current Obsessions: Gravity Falls, and Dungeons & Dragons (but in a 'living vicariously through actual plays' kind of way because I can't play in person with any of my friends; curse the distance that separates us!😭).

Looking Forward to: Flying up to Sydney early next year, not just to see my beloved friends but also to go to a friend's wedding (🥳🥳🥳), the DnD Twenty-Sided Tavern show at the Sydney Opera House (which is also my first time going inside the Opera House! huzzah!), and perhaps even the Hadestown musical too. I'm very excited!! :D

[alliaskisthepossibilityoflove]

Q&A 🧡

rules: answer and tag people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with

tagged by @exhuastedpigeon, @dangerpronebuddie and @anatargmova - thank you 😍❣️

Last song : Slow Dancing by Aly & AJ

Favourite colour : dark blue, that almost midnight tone

Currently reading : I'm re-reading (re-listening to the audiobook!) Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites by Joy Demorra ( @thebibliosphere) and having the time of my life yet again 😁

Currently watching : we've just finished Queen's Gambit (surprisingly watchable given that I neither particularly like nor understand chess) and I tend to put on old full episodes on Last Week Tonight when cooking

Last movie : we're like half way into Furiosa and I almost chickened out more than once because boy have I become even more of a wimp in the last few years. But rn I'm just annoyed - can anyone explain WHY THE HELL she kept growing her hair (AND HIDING IT!) while pretending to be a boy when 1) she cheerfully chopped it of at like 10yo and 2) half the guys in this world have long fucking hair??????? i know it's for THE REVEAL™️ but it's so fucking stupid

Sweet, spicy or savoury : savoury, then sweet

Relationship status : married ❤️

Current obsessions : 911, finishing my 118 bigbang thing, trying not to melt in this godawful heat

Tea or coffee : tea! black with milk is my go to from autumn to spring

last thing i googled : what exactly counts as compound nouns in English because what the 7th grade efl textbook was giving me sounded fake and wrong

No pressure tagging @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @tizniz, @daffi-990, @mayonnaisetoffees,

@shitouttabuck, @diazsdimples, @mistchievous, @acountrygirlsfun,

@pansysgothgf, @playinginthunderstorms, @secretlyatimelady, @doeeyeseddie

[chobani-flip]

so... I've been tagged by @newtkelly (WHO HAS A WIP IN THE WORKS WHICH IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME OMG GO READ ALL THE FICS I LOOOOOOVE) and @alchemistc (THE AMAZING ALCHEMISTIC MAGE OF AWESOME WRITERY POWERS WHO WRITES TRULY EXCELLENT FICS ????DAILY????? GO READ) to put my music on shuffle & list the first 10 songs + tag 10 people

but

the thing is... i... kinda don't listen to music? 👀👀👀 i know, i know, believe me.

like, i am not an alien, i have heard music before, but i don't go out of my way to listen to music in my regular day to day life.

so rather than just not taking part, or trying hard to come up with songs i really love a lot (which, they totally exist! but i can never think of one until i hear it on the radio or in a shop or as background song on a show or something) im gonna tell you about the audiobooks i found really fucking cool and my one podcast i adore:

the podcast AKA the only reason i have spotify on my laptop :

Ridiculous Crime (iHeartRadio) -

Zaron Burnett and Elizabeth Dutton talk about "outlandish capers, heists and cons" to "shine a light on the absurd side of criminality". "Always 99% murder-free and 100% ridiculous". i adore this podcast so fucking much, i am willing to 15sec+ manually skip the embedded ads that appear in LOOOONG chunks at the start, at the 20 minute mark, at the 40 minute mark and at the end of the episodes. also, Elizabeth Dutton is a 911 fan and she's the one whose endorsement finally made me decide to give the show another try. like, srsly, if you've gone off true crime because while you enjoy listening to RL stories and mysteries but all the sensationalizing of brutal crimes just got too much made it impossible to consume? THIS IS THE PODCAST FOR YOU (just srsly, skip the ads, they're fucking annoying

⬆is one of my favourite episodes

the audiobooks:

Vital Organs - Suzie Edge

this is a book full of extremely interesting stories from history connected to various bodyparts.

this is the tagline: From Napoleon's penis to Van Gogh's ear, from Marie Antoinette's teeth to Marie Curie's bone marrow, this book brings together the remarkable stories of body parts that have made history. and you might get the impression that it's going to be a bunch of kings and queens and famous people from that (and like yeah, they're there obviously) but there are so many fascinating stories about people you've never heard of? it's really cool. the one that really stuck with me was about the creator of the Braille writing system, Louis Braille.

Ask A Historian: 50 Surprising Answers To Things You Always Wanted To Know - Greg Jenner

(he also has a podcast, my friend loves it - that's how i found out about the book - but i have space for only one podcast in my heart)

abso-fucking-lutely excellent and interesting and hilarious. remember the tumblr post about the corpse pope put on trial? well, that one was one of the questions Greg Jenner got asked and he talks about the Cadaver Synod in great detail. Mansa Musa, ever heard of him? No? well, google the name and you'll be just as outraged as i was when you realise just how massive and influential he and his Mali Empire was and how your (generally really good) history classes and textbooks never fucking mentioned him. you'll also find out when the first monday was, and why the devil is a goat, and what the Flintstones ot right about Stone Age

A Curious History of Sex - Kate Lister

(also has a podcast apparently, but like i said i can only manage one)

It's a really really cool and interesting book 😁 here's the tagline:

This is not a comprehensive study of every sexual quirk, kink and ritual across all cultures throughout time, as that would entail writing an encyclopaedia. Rather, this is a drop in the ocean, a paddle in the shallow end of sex history, but I hope you will get pleasantly wet nonetheless.

Savage Appetites: Four True Stories of Women, Crime and Obsession - Rachel Monroe

so this isn't true crime, but it's about true crime, it explores why people, and women especially, are fascinated by it. it's not particularly accusatory or judgemental since the author is interrogating her own fascination, but it doesn't shy away from the nastier implications and sides of being enthralled by true crime.

honestly, this describes it really well: Combining personal narrative, reportage, and a sociological examination of violence and media in the 20th and 21st centuries, Savage Appetites is a "corrective to the genre it interrogates" (The New Statesman), scrupulously exploring empathy, justice, and the persistent appeal of crime.

currently listening to: Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlansky

did you know that the word salacious comes from salt? because people believed that salt made you horny and virile? and also that it protected you from evil spirits so in some places in the world (like France and others) in the middle ages, infants would be bathed in brine and salted before a baptism? and that salad is a salad and also from salt because the Romans loved to salt their assorted veggies, when they weren't making garum, the salty stinky fermented fishsauce? AND THAT SOLDIER IS A SOLDIER BECAUSE IN SOME PARTS THEY USED TO BE PAID IN SALT AND SOL AND SALT AND AAAAA i love it so much

ok 🤣 im done. now, i am aware that this was very much not the assignment if the assignment was getting recommendations for music, but if the assignment was finding out more about the person behind the blog, well, here you are 😁 these are the things i find cool and interesting

__

no pressure tagging: @wakeupnew @tiltingheartand @26-cats-in-a-trenchcoat

@kinard-buckley @bugboybuck @mistmarauder

@jackmichaela @do-androids-dream-ao3acc @so-that-was-okay

@apartmentsmoke

[geesenoises]

people i want to get to know better

love these kinds of games!! thanks for the tag @oflights

last song: My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski! the whole album is very good, and this song is just stuck in my head all the time

favorite color: hahaha funnily enough, the reverse of allie. green and pink, but purple/lilac/lavender is making a big come back for me (and just in the culture generally tbh)

last film/show: All Of Us Strangers, and i am unwell now. and currently watching the new season of Dimension 20!

sweet/savory/spicy: this is such a cheater answer but all my favorite foods are all three, or at least a sweet/savory combo. but listen: good food is all about balancing your flavors!!!

relationship status: single

last thing i googled: Tilda Cobham-Hervey because i'm being so fucking nosy about...

current obsession: Dev Patel, in general and especially after watching the trailer for Monkey Man (Tilda is apparently his partner). my other obsession that i'm trying to be a little measured about is watching paul mescal and andrew scott do press for AOUS.

last book: last book i finished was Nona the Ninth on audiobook. the audiobooks for TLT are very good imo!!! moira quirk is a gem!

i started listening to Saving Time by Jenny Odell. i was kind of lukewarm about her first book, How To Do Nothing (kind of felt like it could've been a series of Medium posts, or a Substack in 2024 terms), but i'm liking this one better i thiiink? i'm only half an hour in tho. and also it feels like a physical book kind of read because there's lots of things i want to think over and underline and decide if i agree with so i might have to switch to that.

looking forward to: my brother made himself the birthday cake from Milk Bar for his birthday (i offered!! but he wanted the experience) so we get to eat that tonight, and then we're going out for dim sum on wednesday. and a fun lil fest announcement coming very soon 🤭🪿

no pressure tagging @cavendishbutterfly @moonmanatee @sorrybutblog @oknowkiss @wolfpants @apricitydays-lazynights @saintgarbanzo @sweet-s0rr0w @basicallyahedgehog @phoebe-delia and like literally everyone. my brain can only remember so many people and i am nosy about everyone.

[tommyclause]

Rules: Answer and tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!

tagged by my beloved @jddryder tysm for the tag babe!

Favourite colour: blue!!! but also obsessed with the combination of blue pink & purple

Last song listened to: You Say by Loren Allred. She's performing at the Pride Musical Festival in my area this weekend and I played my mom and sister this song to remind them who she was lol

Currently reading: Just started the physical copy of Don't Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban and the ebook of Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries by Heather Fawgett. And also listening to the audiobook of Funny Story by Emily Henry

Currently watching: 911, Interview With The Vampire s2 (even though I'm super behind), slowing getting through Dead Boy Detectives and Fallout (they're both amazing shows I just have a lot going on in my life rn), and impatiently waiting for Bridgerton s3 part 2. Also trying to finally finish X -Men 97' but i'm so fucking pissed that they ****** ****** so we'll see if I'll ever make it lol

Currently craving: Lunch and the amazing mocha latte i had this morning

Coffee or Tea: Coffee!!

No pressure tagging: @wh0re-behavi0r @monsterrae1 @eddiediazisascorpio @loserdiaz @buckttommy @kinardbuckleys @sainteddie @misstommykinard @watchyourbuck

[practicalghost]

Get to Know Me

Thank ya for the tag @the-blind-assassin-12!

Rules: Answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know

Favorite color: Blue. Any shade from pastels and periwinkle to the color of the ocean to midnight blue it's just super soothing and lovely

Last song: Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon

Currently reading: Mr. Malcolm's List by Suzanne Allain and I'm Glad My Mom's Dead by Jennette McCurdy (technically rereading by listening to the audiobook and it's even more powerful hearing her voice)

Currently watching: Rewatching Bridgerton because I've dragged my mom into my current obsession. Also House of the Dragon and Interview with the Vampire (both on season two and they're both so fucking good)

Currently craving: Copying Alyssa's answer because Italian ice sounds so damn good right now. That's the taste of summer to me and takes me back to being a kid in Queens 😩

Coffee or Tea: Nope I refuse to choose between caffeine sources. They're both delicious but for different moods ya know?

No pressure tags: @flightlessangelwings @swiftpascal @grogusmum @writer-darling @supernaturalgirl20

[llycaons]

SO. I've hit 14 books this year!! I do have a goodreads but it's kind of public so it's mutuals-only (feel free to ask!). but here's my list so far

babel by r.f. kuang

kindred by octavia butler

the goblin emperor by katherine addison

horse by geraldine brooks

spinning silver by naomi novik

kitchen by banana yoshimoto

deep as the sky, red as the sea by rita chang-eppig

the buried giant by kazuo ishiguro

annihilation by jeff vandermeer

the order of the pure moon reflected on water by zen cho

the mask of mirrors by m.a. carrick

black water sister by zen cho

the witch's heart by genevieve gornichec

mexican gothic by silvio moreno-garcia

I also attempted, but gave up on

the night tiger by yangsze choo (the stepsibling romance...I couldn't)

the tiger's wife by téa obreht (just a bit slow - may return to it)

song of the huntress by lucy holland (I just hated one of the leads so much 😭 my blood pressure skyrocketed every time it was her chapter)

these violent delights by chloe gong (WOW this book is for 15 year olds and also pretty pretentious and stupid to boot)

black sun by rebecca roanhorse (it did not grab me)

the black tides of heaven by neon yang (frankly this was a bad book)

silver in the wood by emily tesh (shut UPPPPP white rich british man!!!!!)

lucha of the night forest by tehlor kay mejia (very juvenile and an embarassingly heavy-handed 'drugs are evil' moral right off the bat. also just not very well written)

my reading map as of now

borrowed

ancillary justice - scifi isn't my usual genre but I was really intrigued by the sample I'd read, and I loved the raven tower by the same author. audiobook

sistersong - I had such a bad time trying to read song of the huntress I'm wary about this one but I do still want to try it. ebook

holds - physical books

gods of jade and shadow - I don't know much about this one but I do love a more modern take on folktales and I don't know much about mexican mythology

snow crash - I'll finish this eventually lol. another scifi

pachinko - sampled this ages ago. will it be good? idk. I was absorbed

salt fish girl - REALLY looking forward to this one. it says zero copies available so perhaps I will need to buy it 😭

warbreaker - a podcaster I listen to gave a glowing review and I've been meaning to get into brando sando for ages

lolita - lower on my priority list. I'd like to listen to the audiobook but maybe that would be harder. the only available copy is in spanish anyway

holds - audiobooks

warbreaker - I'll takewhatever arrives first. the waitlist is fucking. months long

pachinko - ditto. these are both 20+ hour audiobooks so maybe a physical book would be less tiring. maybe

wuthering heights - I want to know what everyone is talking about when they rave about their toxic doomed love

the final empire (mistborn #1) - another sanderson offering

the watchmaker of filigree street - I have been on the waitlist for so long for this one...

the water outlaws - please be good please please please

giovanni's room - long waitlist for this one too!!

on my list but not in my library

when a fox is a thousand - I want to read this one so bad I feel SICK. libby PLEASEEEE

piranesi - honestly this did not captivate me but it's so short. why not

sorcerer to the crown - only the second book of this series was available, oddly enough. is the second one so freestanding? is it so much better? I'd like to read them in order. lower on my list since it was a new addition

this is like 16 books and some of them are VERY long so I doubt I'll get to this entire list by the end of the year but it's so satisfying to look back and see how much reading I've done 😊 I've done more this year than I have in like, a decade and it's been so wonderful getting back into another long-beloved form of storytelling even if I don't get as obsessed with it as I used to in hs and middle school

[meraki-yao]

List of thoughts while listening to the RWRB audiobook while drawing Alex during my drawing class (4 10 2023)

Drawing progress update: I was kinda done with the base outline sketch and it looked fine, but my teacher told me it was time to start shading/colouring it and once I did HOLY SHIT IT LOOKED AWFUL HE LOOKED SO DERPY I was laughing so hard at it that I was nearly falling over lmao (trust the process, he helped me a bit and pointed out what's wrong, it looks much less derpy now)

Ch8- half of Ch9 (Wimbledon -> DNC -> Zahra finds out -> Coming out to Ellen -> email: A Mass of Fools and Knaves)

I internally groan in frustration whenever Alex denies he's in love, dude, what the fuck (like, I understand him, but as a listener/reader, come on)

I need to quickly reiterate that I understand changes need to be made for adaptations, and as long as it's done well, which was in RWRB, I have no problem with it. That being said I do notice differences and think about stuff and that's a neutral thing out of curiosity

It never occurred to me how much... Tamer the movie characters are than their book counterparts? Like when you consume each media independently you don't see it because that's just the nature of the medium: films need to be more grounded than books because there's a limitation to a human's suspense of disbelief because it's visual in their face. But the difference in energy levels in the two just hit me. It's interesting.

I never minded not having June in the movie from the start, because Matthew's explanation of the choice is valid and the film worked regardless. However knowing that Taylor has siblings and is one of the young ones, him as Alex having an on-screen sister and getting to play with that dynamic would have been nice to see. (especially of what happened to his family in June. I really wanna hug him.)

The moment in the Wimbleton where Henry fell asleep and Alex just watched him, I kinda wish there was a moment like this in the movie where Alex watches a sleeping Henry, although I can't tell where it would potentially fit in

I tried to find which sex scene in the myriad of sex scenes from the book would have the emotional vulnerability and gentleness of the movie Paris scene, and I think it's the DNC one? The only difference in terms of emotions is Paris is comfort and DNC is hurt/comfort

Kinda prefer the movie coming out to Mom than the book one

I once again question both of them: boys, you're already comparing your correspondence with historical love letters, how the fuck have neither of you realized you're in love and it's very much reciprocated, you two dumbasses (still love you)

As someone who was obsessed with Hamilton for a year and a half and still deeply appreciates the musical, Hamilton's relationships always ... gave me conflicted feelings. I don't doubt he's bi, or he was in love with Laurens, but it's just... Eliza loved him so, so damn much, to the point where she dedicated her entire life to his legacy, and the idea that her love wasn't reciprocated in the same measure just ... makes me really sad for her

I want to cry at the emails, I feel like this is a turning point for book FirstPrince. Again, I really need Taylor and Nick to read the book emails.

[rigelmejo]

10/20/2024

Well, Smart Books app by Kursx is crashing every time I try to open a chinese book. I was trying to read SCI and first it wouldnt save my progress so it kept making me scroll from page 1, and then it loaded chapters wrong so every chapter was the whole book, then it crashed when I tried to scroll TO the part I was reading, then it crashed any time I tried to open SCI. Now its crashing when I try to open any chinese book :/

So much for being able to click translate quickly while I read and audio plays. I guess I'll just go to Edge again, use it's Read Aloud feature, and look up words after getting through a chapter.

I'm annoyed, as that was a really good app for seeing english/chinese full sentence parallel translations for each sentence (versus pleco that can only show an english full translation in a pop up window so you can't look at both at once) AND played audio and highlighted as it read aloud. I guess I'll see if any other apps can do parallel translation per sentence, and audio. (Tons of apps can do individual word or sentence pop up translation if you click,and play TTS, Edge and Google Chrome are what I usually use or Pleco... but the per sentence displaying BOTH languag texts at once was the unique benefit of the Smart Book app)

In happier news:

listened to 4 hours of chinese audiobook yesterday. I did understand more as the hours went on so maybe I just need to fucking listen a lot more. When I read SCI yesterday, I do know most of the words, so when listening there are many more words I /should/ know, that I'm just not recognizing when listening).

Did 8 hours of glossika japanese this week, 4183 sentences total, 86 hours total, 28374 reps. I do notice the listening ability for japanese making some improvements. I'm going to fucking finish glossika japanese A2 by the end of next week. So if A2 part 1 was 1500 sentences (im almost done), part 2 is probably 1500 sentences... so 4500 to a2 part 1 end, 6000 to a2 part 2 end...I'm quite pissed that out of 6400 sentences in this course... B1-C levels will probably be only 400 ish sentences. The only thing motivating me is that glossika japanese CLAIMS it teaches 5000+ words. Even with names counted, even if 200 place and people names are used, thats like 4800 words. Assuming glossika doesnt count every individual conjugation of a word as separate words... if it does, then I'll be pissed. I want my vocabulary to get around 5000...

Anyway I will be doing a review of glossika japanese when I'm done. Since I found only 1 person who reviewed glossika japanese AFTER completing the whole thing. Londoner learns Japanese:

He studied on the app 300 hours, so if he was an absolute beginner beforehand then that would be a big jump from zero. If you're an upper beginner like me, the jump in progress fter 300 hours may not be as big. He thinks he feels high A2 or very low B1 at the completion of the course.

If I do not learn at least 4000 vocabulary from glossika (so 2000 new words for me), then I'm either going to fucking find and buy nukemarine's Lets Learn Japanese anki decks and cram through them on anki (because I know it teaches 6000 words so 4000 new words for me), or get on Satori Reader and read like fucking crazy. Probably Satori Reader first though... because I fear If I use the LLJ deck I'll study basics again and waste time and perfectionist obsess and not make progress, or I'll never study cause I cant focus on anki its so hard for me to concentrate on using it. I'll listen to Nihongo Con Teppei and a Casual Japanese podcast I found either way, as the sooner I can just pick up words from stuff like that then the less I need to do drilling type study.

If I DO learn 4000 vocabulary from glossika (2000 new words for me), then I'll do a month of reviews and reading the sentences (to combine listening with reading and pick up kanji), and trying to speak the sentences out loud more (some speaking practice). Then after, I'll focus on Satori Reader.

[questioningespecialy]

9 people you'd like to know more

i guess i can play, @skygirlstars 🤷🏿‍♂️

last song I listened to: Luke Evans - Silent Night Found out he sings outta the blue and gave his A Song for You album a listen. Nice-ass voice.

Scrollin' through images of him in Dracula Untold (2014) has me tempted to watch again. 😳 i refuse to count Bring me to life by Evanescence from YceQueen's Heroes: Adam Monroe - Bring me to life video (even though it was my kid jam) because i wasn't expecting an AMV of sorts.

currently reading: N/A I ain't readin' shit that ain't on tumblr or an article right now 'cause fuck dat; ADD don't play. Last book I was readin' would be The Three-Body Problem by Liu Cixin (audiobook + ebook). According to my note, I stopped at ch9 (pg105). Great shit. Be careful looking it up in any way. Bound to get some major spoilers for the book series. 😭

currently watching: Oshi no Ko holy hell dis fuckin' series go hard O.O first episode especially, though, tbh the next 2 were great, but could not possibly match avoid all spoilers (including descriptions!); just dive into the first half of episode 1 and then you'll know

next on my watchlist: N/A Assuming I actually finish watching at random sometime this month, 🤷🏿‍♂️ I'll just decide then.

current obsessions: N/A nada, fortunately no wait... tumblr 😐

9 a y'all...: @missmayhemvr (👈🏿 👈🏿) @imnoveria (👋🏿) @superfamiblog (answer in games only)