#there are already other things i need to fix that are way worse :'^)
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They were also SO weird about my daily meds. I wasn't allowed to take them on my normal schedule that my regular doctors have signed off on, apparently this hospital has a special rulebook for when and how often I'm "actually" supposed to be taking any given medication which takes priority over my current regular medication schedule and thus I was forced to adhere to it, so between that and the whole "the nurses are so busy they are constantly late bringing me my meds which HAVE to be taken at a specific time each day, meant I felt extra mega like shit. (Like I'm on Lamictal and you CANNOT just fucking stop taking Lamictal and they wanted me to skip a dose and take it in the morning "like I'm supposed to" even though my actual fucking psychatrist said I can take it morning or night, whichever is more comfortable for me, it literally doesn't matter at all. I also kept missing the times for my Propranolol which meant my POTs was out of wack and making me dizzy and my heart race.)
Also the on-site pharmacy didn't carry one of my usual medications so they gave me a choice between switching to an "equivalent" one the doctor approved of(a decision I was not present for so I couldn't even give informed consent, like I didn't get any info on this other med aside from it's name and the assurance that "it would do the same thing" which I found dubious at best given that this was prescribed by a specialist and my assigned doctor was not trained in that field at all) or just not taking it at all, and I was explicitly forbidden from touching my meds from home(my usual hospital has no such rule so idk why they were being like this about it, I had no reason to think me bringing them was against the rules) and they nearly forced my fiancĂŠ to take the ones I broughtâsince I knew I'd be there for two days and figured I'd like need my medsâback to my house, so I couldn't even just take my usual meds which I literally had in my bag, I was forced to take something else.
So yeah like the constant inability to sleep or eat given the cycle of intense nausea and excruciating pain no one cared to treat correctly was already stressing me out to the point that I knew I was going to have a fibro flare that would make it harder to recover, plus the whole "ignoring me for several hours when I was sobbing from how badly I had to pee despite being unable to on my own because they just didn't believe it was possible for me to have to pee that bad until my fiancĂŠ was pissed enough he went and found them(literally actively shit talking me when he walked up too) and essentially forced them to check again, which the assistant who was in charge of that did so carelessly it make the pain so much worse and she refused to even speak to or really look at me while she did it too, and then they had to rush to give me a catheter which meant they couldn't find a smaller tube(my urologist has told me I have an uncommonly small urethra and bladder opening) or be careful so it hurt really bad" thing, AND the saying they'd give me enough pain meds to help at home only to change the dose to a lower, less effective one which I only found our about after they discharged me and I was told because I'd been discharged the doctor wouldn't speak to me(the pharmacist literally said once you're discharged you're treated as "out of sight, out of mind" like he said those exact words) AND the surgery team just straight up not returning any of my calls today to try to get the medication thing fixed, I think this hospital is run by inhumane monsters who don't give a shit about their staff or patients, which in turn makes their staff unwilling to care for their patients basically at all and they should probably face serious consequences for treating people this way.
Oh, also I just remembered the surgeon said they would tell me what setting my shunt was at because I would absolutely need that information, but no one ever told me and right as we were leaving we realized that and mentioned it and the nurse was like "idk I can't find it written in your chart so I guess you'll just have to call the neurosurgeon" and then lectured me again about the dangers of pain meds before vanishing and not returning. Which I'm sure is fine and normal.
God I fucking hate that hospital with every fiber of my living being. Also they should decriminalize all drugs and I'm not kidding.
And I'm filing a fucking grievance.
I'm home from the hospital and I can confirm that the opioid crisis has made these places fucking insane about literally all medications.
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You know, it drives me crazy to know that technically thereâs two (at least in terms of prominence cause I think thereâs also a TFA one though it doesnât seem as talked about) canonical Shattered Glass continuities: the one made by FunPub and the IDW reboot.
Cause the thing is, those two comics have vastly different Megatrons and Optimus Primes.
Like we have FunPub Megatron who is a mathematician and Optronix who was a librarian that backstabbed his way to the top.
Then we have the IDW versions where Megatron is a miner/civil activist who keeps getting tossed into jail and Orion Pax who is a senator in this version.
And what fascinates me is that in the FunPub version, Optimus actually lives (though he becomes Nova Prime). Meanwhile, in the IDW version, I think he dies (?) or well his fate is much worse in comparison to FunPub!OP.
Also whatâs up with both Megatrons having a fakeout death? FunPub!Megatron does get killed by Cyclonus but he comes back as Galvatron. Meanwhile IDW!Megatron gets defeated by OP and is momentarily thought to be dead (he just went into self-exile).
Thereâs not actually a lot of difference between the two OPs (cause honestly they both seem insane), though I guess one could interpret FunPub!OP as much more depressing cause the only reason heâs evil is cause he saw life as meaningless unless history remembers you and when he becomes Nova Prime, heâs still a little jerk but heâs tamer so I assume that was his original personality. IDW!OP just wants total power and only initially hides behind a nice facade.
The two Megatrons are vastly different though in my opinion. Cause FunPub!Megatron really was just some guy who predicted civil war and was good enough to want to stop it (this Megatron wasnât affected by the caste system, he just genuinely saw something wrong was happening and chose to do something about it). IDW!Megatron was someone who was affected by the caste system and was trying his best to bring attention to it. FunPub!Megatron is also very nice (like not overly nice but heâs genuinely such a nice guy and this is why heâs my favorite aside from him being a nerd lmao). IDW!Megatron is a bit more jaded (which is fair cause the caste system is horrible and his âfriendâ is an asshole).
Even the relationship between OP and Megatron are different in both continuities. Iâm pretty sure in FunPub these two never interacted before the war, where OP gets pissed that this random mathematician is opposing him. In IDW, OP and Megatron were âfriendsâ with OP even bailing Megatron out of jail, though their âfriendshipâ was already toxic even before the war cause Megatron seemed to really see through OPâs BS.
All this to say, there should really be a crossover between both continuities.
SGFunPub!Megs and SGIDW!OP meeting would be kinda fun and dangerous, especially if they meet each other before the civil war broke out. Megatron wouldnât know who OP is while OP would see another version of his Megatron who he could possibly trick. Also this has the added bonus of a hilarious scenario where Megatron predicts OP is the cause of the civil war through math and that pisses off OP cause genuinely tf you mean you computed that through math. This one is more dangerous though as OP genuinely wants power and will not be swayed by whatever Megatron says.
SGIDW!Megs and SGFunPub!OP might honestly end up the happier version ngl. Cause OP clearly has an existential crisis that Megatron can probably fix by convincing him that OP can still be remembered in history by doing the right thing⌠such as being a civil rights activist. Like⌠Iâm just saying maybe FunPub!OP needs therapy (and unlike IDW!OP, he actually gets a canonical redemption arc so heâs not completely lost).
.
.
.
Anyway, will I write this? Maybe (I really shouldnât though cause I have a series and two writing requests to finish lmao). Because I am officially employed now and thus have a fixed schedule unlike the previous weeks where my schedule was erratic (which is not good for my OCD as I need a fixed schedule or I will be very upset sksksksk) as I had nothing to do but read, play video games, and exist lmao
#transformers shattered glass#shattered glass#sg idw#sg funpub#sg megop#sg megatron#sg optimus prime#optronix#megop#opmeg
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Hazel, Sweet and Dynamic Chp. 5 - Arcane Fanfiction
Summary - While Viktor notices more and more things wrong with Jayce, their relationship reaches a climax
Word Count - 3,817
Full Word Count - 15,469
Read on Ao3
Previous Chapter
Chp. 1
Notes: I wrote half of this in one sitting you guys can live with the typos anyways I'm back in school and need to make the gay men suffer because of it so things will be getting SO MUCH WORSE
The two had held onto each other for what felt like an eternity. It was one Viktor would gladly spend with Jayce, though he wasnât sure he wanted to delve into why he felt that way.
The only thing that convinced the two to separate was the toll of their physical needs. Both of their bad legs were begging them to move to a more comfortable position. That combined with the twoâs growing hunger was enough to do the trick.
Viktor bid Jayce to lay down, to rest his eyes, while he fixed some food. Jayce clung to his arm when he stood, holding him in place for a solid five minutes before relenting and letting go. Viktor hadnât said a word the entire time it happened, only placed his hand over Jayceâs and squeezed it.
They ate silently after Viktor brought the hastily made meal back to Jayce. It honestly felt suffocating. Viktor thought there was more he should say, something like âIâm sorry,â or âI shouldnât have gotten mad,â but he couldnât force the words out.Â
He honestly still felt like he was right. Viktor might always be bitter about the fact that Jayce still wanted to leave. If the other manâs occasional glances back towards the lab were any hint, he clearly still felt the urge to work on a way home.
Once Viktor had finished eating, he watched as Jayce only mindlessly picked at his food, pushing the chunks in the stew around with his spoon. Viktor was once again reminded by how much had truly changed.
There had been many days in the lab where Viktor had to be physically dragged away from his desk just so he could meet his basic needs. It would always be Jayce that finished his food first, though he still sat next to Viktor and silently made sure he finished as well.
Viktor was starting to hate everything that had changed. Why couldnât they go back to that easy comradery that they had fallen into, that silent routine that brought them so much comfort and warmth?
âViktor,â Jayce said, breaking him out of his stupor. He looked back at Jayce, who still looked like a kicked puppy. It made Viktor want to hug him again and this time never let go. âI-I can stop.â He continued quietly.
Viktor blinked once, twice. He furrowed his brow as Jayce nodded towards the lab, a silent explanation.
Oh. he was offering to give it all up. Just like that. It was what Viktor had wanted, but it brought a pit into his stomach. It wouldâve made him lose his appetite if he hadnât already finished eating.
âI-â He started, breaking off as he suddenly became very unsure of his words. Last time he managed to mess everything up, he didnât want to repeat that so soon. He steeled himself for a decision that he would likely regret later, that would make him even more bitter with time.
âNo, you deserve to go home.â He said, surprising the both of them. Jayce looked down contemplatively, then returned Viktorâs gaze with a confused expression, his mouth open as if to protest.
âThis isnât a world that we could be happy in for long,â Viktor could be happy, if he had Jayce with him. Being alone in this world seemed worse than death, but with Jayce it seemed like a paradise. âAfter everything thatâs happened, we deserve to live an easy life with the people we love.â Jayce deserved it.
Jayce blinked at him for a moment, he looked lost on what to say. He looked down at the ground, picking at his food again before turning back to face Viktor. He smiled lightly.
âThank you, Viktor.â He said, relief bleeding into his voice. Viktor nodded with a small hum, smiling back at him through his watering eyes.
After the incident, things went back to normal. Jayce noticeably stopped working in the lab as much. He went outside more often, insisting that he accompany Viktor on some of his expeditions.
The two of them were around the bridge now. Jayce looked over at its crumbling form as Viktor picked through a dumpster on the side of a dilapidated building. It probably would have held one of the luckier trenchers, being so close to the bridge.
Viktor found an old childâs toy that had a few gears and screws in it. It would be useful for whenever they got restless, but not for anything more than a bit of tinkering. He put it in the small sack Jayce had sewn anyway.
He turned back towards Jayce, who was leaning on his cane and staring out into the golden city. The shining bronze and pristine white were dull with age and had the same growths of arcane as the undercity did.
Viktor went up to his partner, his own cane clopping against the ground. It felt strange to be using it again, but after his fall and overextension of his bad leg, he found it more difficult to rest his weight on it without feeling sore quickly.
Jayce made him a cane when he had been out. He hadnât said a word when he handed it to Viktor. Viktor had taken it solemnly and used it as necessary.
âHave you been across the bridge?â Jayce asked once Viktor stopped beside him. Viktor followed Jayceâs gaze. From the bridge, it was a straight shot to the hexgates. If it werenât for the decay and crumbling of the buildings, it would have been fairly easy for them to go all the way to the top.
âNo,â Viktor responded with a sigh. âIt never felt right to go without you.â He added. For some reason, he almost felt guilty about it, like he was pushing an obligation onto Jayce.
Jayce sighed and Viktor turned to look at him. The man seemed to have permanent bruises under his eyes, sleeping coming to him less and less as the days went by. His mouth was set in the frown that Viktor noticed more often.
Viktor felt as though they were about to have a conversation. The kind where everything either went horribly wrong or surprisingly right. The kind where one of them broke down into tears for one reason or another.
Instead, Jayce turned his back to the golden city. He limped back towards their humble home, his own cane causing an echo that bounced through the alleyways.
A marionette turned its head to follow him as he passed.Â
Viktor and Jayce sat around the fireplace. They had managed to find some wood that would be suitable enough to start a fire. With the lightbulb having finally gone out, and little hope of finding another one that wasnât completely broken, this was the next best thing.
They sat close to one another, with the blanket around both of their shoulders. It reminded Viktor of those first few days they spent in this world. The two of them had been near inseparable, curling up together at any chance they got.
He wasnât sure when the change happened, when things got so tense between them. Maybe it was just Jayce having finally realized that he was near cuddling with a murderer who had nearly caused a genocide. He hoped that Jayce hadnât realized that, or that if he did he didnât care. He hoped it had been something else.
Jayce had still only been picking at his food, taking meager bites and scrunching up his nose whenever he did. It looked like a genuine struggle to swallow it down. It was worrying Viktor. The days were getting colder and the nights were getting even worse, he needed to eat.
âIs the food not to your tastes?â Viktor asked, because this time he was the one to cook and he had no qualms about guilt tripping his partner into eating. He knew he wasnât a better cook than Jayce, so it was very likely that he had just happened to mess it up and that was why Jayce was struggling to keep it down.
Jayce let out a huff, a small smile gracing his lips. Those were becoming rarer, Viktor realized. He blamed it on the weather. Jayce had always had a strenuous relationship with the cold, for good reason. Viktor couldnât imagine how much worse it must be when they were living in these conditions.
Abruptly, Jayce started to cough. They were small huffs at first as he scrunched his nose. Then he started coughing into his fist and trying to clear his throat.
For a moment, Viktor stared. It felt strange being on the other side of something like this. It felt like he was watching himself from anotherâs eyes. He wondered how long it had taken others to notice that he had been truly sick.
With a blink, he broke out of his stupor. He grabbed the mug of still warm water and handed it to Jayce when he reached for it. The other man seemed to down it in one go, setting it down next to him with a strained exhale.
âSorry,â Jayce muttered, âmustâve been a tickle in my throat.â He shrugged, looking at Viktor sheepishly.
Viktor looked down at his food before answering.
âItâs alright.â He said softly.
Viktor was sitting at the table, writing in the small notebook he had found around a week ago. It had a couple of pages already filled with various drawings. He had finally given Jayce something to do other than research that wasnât needed to survive.
He had seemed happier, being able to draw little things. Viktor had even caught Jayce drawing him a couple of times, much to his surprise. It was flattering, and made his chest ache in ways he couldnât explain.
Viktor enjoyed writing as well, little things like observations of their environment or a few poems. He had banned Jayce from reading those, and in turn promised not to snoop on his private works as well. Though, the urge was still there, and he knew Jayce felt a similar way.
Viktor had been writing down his observations of a plant he had found when their refound peace was broken again. The plant had the same arcane corruption on it, much like the plants he had experimented on with the hexcore. It was scary to think that the device still had so much influence on this place.
Viktor had been writing when he heard something shatter in the kitchen. When he heard the hitching of breath and something falling with a thud.
He sat there a moment, blinking into the doorway that led into the kitchen. Jayce had been making them lunch.
He hurried into the kitchen, practically tripping over his own two feet before steadying himself in the doorway. His breathing was ragged with panic.
Jayce sat against the cabinets next to the stove, shaking and breathing hard. There was a shattered plate next to him, along with scattered ingredients that had fallen with it.
âJayce!â Viktor exclaimed before rushing over to him and crouching down in front of him. He didnât react to the call, only sat there, shuddering with each ragged breath. He wasnât looking at him, more through him, with glazed eyes.
Viktor placed a hand on his shoulder, making the man flinch and let out a sound akin to a whimper. He moved back, terrified of making things worse. He had no idea what he was even supposed to do. Heâd never dealt with something like this before.
âJayce, please, can you hear me?â he asked softly, looking for some kind of recognition. He couldnât help if Jayce didnât talk to him and he couldnât stand not being able to help. He couldnât just sit there while his partner was shaking on the floor and unresponsive.
He tried several more times to get Jayceâs attention. They all had similar results. The only difference was that Jayce had started to curl in on himself even more, with his hand digging into his hair and his knees pulled to his chest in a way that Viktor knew made his leg twinge.
It was then that Viktor noticed the blood on Jayceâs wrist. The way it was shaking so much more fiercely than the rest of him. Viktor blinked several times, then glanced over to the broken plate.
Blood was on the edges of some of the shards as well.
He turned back to analyze Jayceâs wrist. It was the same that once held his beloved rune, the rune that an older version of Viktor had gifted him to help him discover his dream. It was the rune that had been embedded into his skin and later ripped out when he gave it to Viktor and fulfilled his promise.
During the time that different worries and theories flooded through Viktorâs head, Jayceâs breathing started to get steadier. He was looking at Viktor now, looking as the other man stared dagger at his bleeding wrist. Looking at the blatant concern making his brow furrow.
âVik?â He asked hoarsely, breaking the other man out of his stupor.
Viktor visibly flinched, but quickly recovered. He sat there with his arms outstretched for a moment, wondering if he still shouldnât touch. The urge to hug Jayce was so perilously great. It was another foreign feeling that he wasnât sure whether to loathe or accept.
Before he could make up his mind, Jayce grabbed his wrists and pulled him against his chest. Viktor gasped quietly, sucking in a breath. He placed his hands on Jayceâs shoulders and gripped them firmly.
âWh-what happened?â He asked, somehow sounding worse than Jayce. He grasped Jayceâs shoulder in a death grip, like if he even thought of letting go, the other man would dissolve through his fingertips.
âIâm okay,â Jayce reassured. And how cruel was Viktor to be the one in need of reassurance? âJust-â He broke off, not yet ready to speak.
Viktor was torn between forcing it out of Jayce, of finding a way to make sure whatever just happened would never happen again, and giving him the time he needed. He bit his lips to keep his endless questions from flowing.
For a long time they remained silent. Jayceâs breathing became shallower and calmer, smooth like the morning shore. All the while Viktor had never felt so high-strung. Viktor was walking on a tight-rope, so precariously that the faintest gust of wind would make him fall.
The wind blew, and he couldnât resist leaving himself with so many questions. He was a scientist, after all.
âWhat happened?â He asked again, forcefully this time. He felt Jayceâs shoulders tense, he felt the way Jayceâs jaw set firmly and his chest stuttered with another hiccuping breath. Viktor pulled away to look him in the eyes, though he kept his hands on Jayceâs shoulders.
âIt just-â he tried again, pausing a moment before he fully regained his voice, âhappens, sometimes.â He forced out, the words biting like a snake.
âWhat does?â Viktor interrogated. He felt more and more uneasy with each breath. He squeezed Jayceâs shoulders, his fingernails digging into the fabric of his shirt.
âSometimes Iâm reminded of the bad things that happened and I just shut off, I donât know.â He snapped, not looking Viktor in the eyes. The other man could see them anyway, how they were red-rimmed and still a little hazy.
âWhat set it off?â
âThe smell.â he muttered, nodding towards one of the newt he had been chopping up to cook.
Viktor wrinkled his nose as he looked at its bloodied form. If he really paid attention, he could smell rot. The thing had gone bad, it had probably been stuffed in the back of their small pantry.
Viktor felt a pang of sorrow strike his gut. He let go of Jayceâs shoulders.
In a way, Viktor was still the cause for Jayceâs grief. Perhaps if he had never left in the first place, Jayce would have had no reason to go to the hexgates. And was it not him that left Jayce in that cave to rot for so long? Was it not him that had in some way caused all of their problems?
Neither of the two men looked at each other. Eventually, Jayce stood and went into the living room. Viktor soon heard the ruffling of covers as Jayce decided to rest early.
Viktor threw out the rotten newt, and any others that he suspected.
It was the middle of the night. Neither of them were sleeping, though they were both lying down on their shitty mattress, holding each other tightly. VIktor didnât think that Jayce had slept the entire half day he had been laying in bed. Viktor couldnât fault him for it.
There was something dark unfurling in Jayceâs mind. Viktor could practically see it emerging in real time. He ate less. He worked less. He even slept less now. It was all too similar to his own experiences for Viktor to not be at peace as well.
Something was in his own mind too. Something that whispered and taunted and told him to leave Jayce be. It told him that this kind, loving, beautiful man was not meant for him. It told him that he was infecting Jayce with his darkness and would continue to do so until one of them died.
He closed his eyes, willing the darkness away. It would not leave, no matter how far he pushed it away. It was always at the edge of his mind, rearing its head when he was at his weakest.
He had never felt so weak as he did now.
He was accustomed to being weak, to not being able to do things everyone else could. He was used to the days he couldnât stand without falling, to the days he couldnât even make himself get out of bed because the pain was so great.
He was not accustomed to being useless. To having to sit back and watch as someone he loved so dearly rotted away. He was not used to having to observe from a distance, where the only thing he could do was place a hand on his shoulder, or give him a hug once the worst of an episode was over. It all felt worthless in the long run.
Was this what Jayce had dealt with when Viktor had been dying? Had he felt as useless as Viktor did now? Did he cry and pray and beg t whatever higher being existed that things would not end this way? That he would still be given a second chance?
They both had been given what felt like a million chances, each they somehow messed up worse than the last.
The first second chance must have been when they first proved Hextechâs worth. How he longed to go back to those first days. To the time when Viktorâs illness was far enough away that he could live in the moment. He longed to go back to something as simple as the Innovator's Competition.
They would never be given another simple life like that again. And it was all his fault.
âWhat are you thinking about?â Jayce asked, cutting into the agonizing silence. It felt like he had just broken some kind of rule. Whenever they had both been stuck awake they only lied there in silence.
âWhy donât you hate me?â He blurted. He didnât know the words were on his tongue. Nevertheless, they pushed their way past his lips.
âHow could I?â Jayce whispered back.
âIâve ruined everything. I killed so many people. I left you in a cave for weeks. Iâve been so cruel to you while weâve been here.â Viktor said, listing every transgression he could in the moment. There were so many more. There were endless reasons for Jayce to hate him, to throw him away like the sump rat he was.
âAll I do is make mistakes.â He finished weakly. He looked down at the pillow his head was against. He could not meet Jayceâs eyes at this moment, he couldnât.
âThe times Iâve spent with you have been the best times of my life, Viktor.â Jayce started, his voice so achingly soft. Viktor silently begged him to stop talking.
âThe nights spent working in the lab when we could barely talk without sounding like we were high, one of those nights had been the first time I had heard you really laugh. I thought it was the most beautiful sound.â Jayce paused as he let out a small sigh. âThose few times I convinced you to go to brunch with me and you got the most obscenely sweet thing you could find,â stop, stop, stop Jayce had to stop!
âThat first time I got you to go to one of those stupid galas with me, and you wore the most stunning suit. It was the dark purple one, almost black, with all the gold accents. All I could think about was that it would have been perfect if you had some Talis red on you.â Viktor closed his eyes tightly. He sucked in a breath.
âThe first night we met,â Jayce gently wiped a tear that had snuck its way down Viktorâs cheek, âWhen you convinced me to fight for my dream with every tooth and nail.â He rubbed his thumb along Viktorâs cheek bone. He couldnât keep his eyes shut any longer.
Viktor stared into Jayceâs hazel eyes. The eyes that were so sweet, and beautiful, and made him feel loved even though he deserved all the hate that the world could throw at him. His breath hitched, and it suddenly felt like he couldnât breathe at all.
âWhen you gave me a reason to live.â Jayce finished quietly. It felt like he was saying a vow. Viktor didnât think he had ever seen the man wear such a bright smile. After days of nothing but small smirks that looked like he was being held at gunpoint, Viktor felt like he was staring at the galaxy itself. He was suddenly surrounded by so much color once again. And once again, the hazel stood out the brightest.
âWhat are we?â Viktor asked, because it had been eating him alive for the past few months that they had been entirely alone together, and if he had to wonder for another minute he would be devoured.
âDoes it matter?â Jayce asked with a huff, âWeâre together. I love you.â
Viktor cried then, fully cried. He felt tears track down his cheeks and snot dribble down his nose. He must have been disgusting. He must have been disgusting, but Jayce leaned in anyway.
He was horrible, and worthless, and was the reason everything had gone wrong. But Jayce still pressed his lips to Viktorâs and muttered a million promises that he would stay with him forever.
End Notes: kiss kiss smooch time <3 I'm gonna be real I do not enjoy writing kiss scenes and I cannot write smut so you guys get abstract kisses where your dirty little minds can wander whereever they want to go (or you can be really cutesy with it and give them cuddle time) anyways, things will still be getting worse and I've thought of a bad ending to give them so⌠(maybe it'll be a grey area ending tho I have a few different ideas) also I'm gonna guess that there are about 2 more chapters left (always subject to change) so yeah :) also fun fact I was debating making this chapter the last one and then I realized that I left so many plot holes and I still wanted them suffer I love you guys so much and you guys please manifest a snow day on friday the weather says it'll snow but my school system is borderline abusive and might not give us a snow day so let's all use the magic of friendship and summon it together!!! (If I sound insane it's because I'm horribly sleep deprived because my sleep schedule is majorly fucked :D) anyways, thx for reading! I always appreciate comments and try to reply to as many as I can <3
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Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I donât think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didnât under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldnât. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. Itâs not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmyâs relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curlyâs friends. Itâs not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in donât want to see spiral further in Anyaâs case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmyâs actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmyâs stability first is both out of bias but also the fact heâs aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said itâs hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isnât even saying he doesnât care about Anya but heâs not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. Itâs a complicated thing but heâs still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasnât much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didnât punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her heâd do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and thatâs not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how heâs a big picture guy and itâs not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits heâd drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we donât get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I donât think Curly underplaying Anyaâs trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isnât his to bare like he canât#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and thatâs the problem really cause heâs just used to actually fixing it for him and itâs the case#this is the one thing he really couldnât like I think heâs a good guy but heâs trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they donât like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually donât believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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lvl40 is ALMOST done i'm working on the greys :v (as you can see this page isn't finished â.â;; ) also it takes place largely in a bowling alley and i forgot about bowling shoes so i need to redraw those on SIX pages...........
#artists on tumblr#webcomics#art process#art wip#I ALSO FORGOT ABOUT WEDDING RINGS orz;;;;#yan's husband shows up briefly in this chapter so i'm like#surely irl most places in the world they're not a thing right????#SO IT MAKES SENSE FOR THEM NOT TO EXIST HERE RIGHT????#I DON'T NEED TO GO BACK AND FIX PREVIOUS CHAPTERS WHERE SHE WASN'T WEARING ONE???????#there are already other things i need to fix that are way worse :'^)#i noticed the thing with the dialogue on the first page of lvl33 the day after i posted it#and IT'S STILL LIKE THAT#/stares into the distance
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Donât Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean Iâm good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like âyeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.â#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and donât try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and Iâve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I canât even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I donât think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like Iâm lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and Iâm In The Vicinity. even when theyâre clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I donât cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything theyâre upset with me for. which isnât fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I canât even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. Iâm actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and itâs not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. Iâve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like âwell. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you wereâ.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesnât make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. Iâm not. Iâm weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that theyâre generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that theyâre probably right#which is why Iâm not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now Iâm just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know itâs draining to talk to someone who doesnât accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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I've got to watch Leverage again. I can not let this stupid stupid man replace Eliot đ
#yeah yeah same guy technically but no#one of them is Eliot and the other one is a giant dumbass (but aww that's so cute and he's old and stupid and he needs a hug and)#but it would be very funny if he was replaced by another character played by the same guy#that doesn't usually happen. usually it just ends up being the actor and all the characters at once#but since I'm not letting myself like him... hm yeah it's weird#feels wrong somehow. which is hilarious actually. it literally doesn't matter they're all not real lol#I was about to start watching the librarians too but. can I risk that? what if I like that one too đ it's already so stressful#but I'll watch it anyway. more of his face. that's all I need. if I just look at it long enough I'm sure that'll fix me :) there's no#way that'll make me worse :)#I love overthinking stupid irrelevant things đ#personal
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i âwould she really say thatâ is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a âyour mom's kinda hotâ level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most âits just you againâ out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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Hey Iâm just begging for a fic of Logan with a shy reader that she has a crush on him but thinks heâs never going to fix on her since Jean exists (maybe the reader can make her hair color change depending on the emotion or something
a/n: sorry I havenât been responding to asks. The new job has officially killed my spirit. But I got to work out finally and do some yoga so hopefully Iâll start feeling more motivated đ¤đ¤this one will be shorter
Logan Howlett x X-men!reader (Chameleon)
âChameleon!â You jump, shoulders flying up to your ears. Almost immediately you can feel the tips of your fingers tingling. Sure enough, when you look down theyâre already disappearing. Sighing, you turn around and glare at Scott.Â
âWhat have I told you about scaring me?âÂ
He grimaces, raising his hands in surrender. âSorry, I forgot.â
You roll your eyes and turn back toward your project. âEvery time,â you mutter bitterly. Youâre not an idiot. You know he thinks scaring you is funny. The whole school does. They all like to see you yelp and blend in with the nearest surface, the only thing visible is your stupid hair.Â
âYouâre, um, turning red.â Scott points to your head and you donât have to look to know your hair is shifting colors.
You reach over and swat harshly at his arm, âBecause you pissed me off! I know you scare me on purpose,â you accuse, jabbing your finger into his chest. He laughs and stumbles away from you.Â
âAlright, alright, calm down. I was just messing around a little. Look,â he glances down at the lesson plans before you and sighs. âAll this will have to wait. Charles needs us all for a mission.â
You huff and shove the papers into your desk drawer. âAlright, lead the way.â You feel Scottâs eyes still lingering on your hair and glare at him. âMove it, Summers,â you demand.Â
You were already in a bad mood, you didnât need him making it worse. It honestly shouldnât be such a big deal for you. You get scared by everyone all the time. You used to enjoy it, enjoyed the way it felt like you all had your own joke. But, eventually, it started to feel less like an inside joke and more like youâre the unwitting butt of one.Â
Some mutants get amazing powers, like Jean or Charles. Loganâs abilities are incredible, even if he doesnât believe you when you tell him that. But yours, well, you're better suited as the cheap gimmick of a childrenâs birthday party than an X-Men. Youâre just a walking mood ring that blends in with her environment.Â
The only thing youâre good for is reconnaissance missions and embarrassing yourself. You donât know what Charles sees in you. Youâve never understood why he insists youâre such a good asset to the team. Yes, you are good at spying on people, but you donât need to when Charles has such strong telepathic abilities. Youâre essentially useless in a fight due to a lack of regenerative or strength abilities.Â
More often than not you feel like a child playing dress up, chasing after the big kids. You know the others donât mean anything bad by it when they tease you into going invisible or laugh when your hair changes. Itâs all in good fun. But it doesnât make you feel any less like easy entertainment rather than a teammate.Â
It doesnât help that youâve got little to no control over your abilities when it comes to Logan. Youâve never had such a horrifically bad crush like this. Anytime he opens his mouth around you, you're fighting off the urge to just go invisible and run away. You feel like you go feral around him. You donât know how he hasnât caught onto what the colors of your hair mean when youâre near him.Â
Itâs constantly switching between some odd mix of red and pink when you talk. Which, you know what it means, but youâre praying no one else does. Red can mean angry, depending on whether youâre talking to Scott or not. You know, though, that with Logan it just means you want to jump his bones and youâre hopelessly in love with him.Â
Thankfully, like the others, he associates red with anger. Which isnât great for you because that just means he thinks every time he opens his mouth youâre pissed off. At yourself, maybe, but at him, never. It just means when he wears those stupid tanktops you want to dig your teeth into his biceps and never let go.Â
Scott opens the door to the meeting room and you slide in past him. Charles gives you a brief smile as a greeting. You take the chair at the end of the table, which just happens to be next to Logan - completely coincidental. He gives you a tense smile and you return it stiffly. You tug your hood over your hair, praying he doesnât notice the red in your strands yet. You donât want him to think you hate him. You completely prefer that over him knowing how feral you are for him, but itâs not conducive to your slow plan to finally get him to acknowledge you as a sexual partner.Â
You swear, if your name isnât Jean Grey, you might as well just be a shapeless blob of nothing. He glances over at her, that smoldering look in his eyes, and you try not to throw up in your mouth. Scott wraps an arm around Jeanâs shoulders and they break their lingering stares.Â
Logan glances over at you and catches the glare on your face before you can get rid of it. He huffs and turns towards Charles. With a sigh, you sink back into your chair and focus on not just going invisible.Â
âChameleon,â Charles says your name and your eyes widen. You wonder how much youâve missed while youâve been glaring at the back of Jeanâs head. âDoes that sound alright with you?â
You look around the table for help but theyâre all staring expectantly at you. âSure,â you stumble over the word, racking your brain for any answers. It seems not even your subconscious was paying attention to Charles droning on. âSounds great.â He gives you a satisfied nod.Â
âGood. Off to the jet, all of you.â he rolls out of the room and you wait until heâs out of earshot to kick Logan under the table.Â
He glances back at you, smirking. âDonât know what you agreed to?â
You purse your lips and shake your head. âNope,â he gives you a look like he knew youâd say that. You hate how well he can read you when it feels like youâre constantly hitting walls trying to understand him.Â
âYouâre scoping a place out for us. Making sure itâs safe so we can retrieve some information.â You give him a thankful look and he chuckles. âYou need to start paying attention, kid.â
You groan and get up from your chair, brushing past him. âI told you to quit calling me that.â It makes you feel like thatâs all heâll ever see you as, some kid invited onto the team. You want him to see you as someone he could have sex with, hopefully, love one day.Â
He glances past you at Jean. She smiles at him and you fight everything inside you to not roll your eyes and gag at them. Sheâs holding onto Scott and making fuck me eyes at Logan, which heâs happily returning. This is just too disgusting for you.Â
You shove past him and ignore how he calls out your name. Your real name. Heâs the only one that uses it. For some reason, most people just refer to you by Chameleon. You donât understand why. They just donât seem to think of you outside your abilities as a mutant.Â
You make it to the jet before the others, taking the private time to change into your X-Men suit. If thereâs one useful thing about your ability, itâs that it affects whateverâs touching you. Which means, you donât have to strip naked to go completely invisible. And if anyone is around you, all you have to do is hold onto them and theyâll blend in too.Â
Youâre tugging up the zipper of your top as Logan walks in. He gives you an odd look, sitting on the bench in front of you. âAngry about something?â He asks, gaze darting up to your head.Â
You drag your fingers over the ends of your hair and sigh. âNo,â you tell him bluntly, taking the seat beside him.Â
His brows furrow in confusion. âItâs red, though,â he points out, his tone colored in suspicion.Â
You laugh a little, âRed doesnât always mean angry.â Itâs the most youâve ever confided about your hair colors to him. The largest hint youâve ever given him that you donât hate him. Youâre worried if he knew how you really felt about him, heâd think you were a little creep.Â
He slides his arm behind you on the bench, leaning in until youâre practically sharing the same air. You know your eyes are comically large, you donât even want to know what color your hair is turning right now. âWhat else does it mean, kid?â He whispers and you donât even pay attention to the nickname. All you can see and hear right now is him. How close he is, how close your lips are.Â
You could lean forward an inch or two and youâd be kissing. âUm,â you swallow harshly around the lump in your throat. You donât even know what he asked you, all you can think about now is kissing him.Â
âLogan!â Ororoâs voice echoes through the jet and you leap away from him, trying to calm your racing heart. Logan sighs and leans back in his seat, giving Storm a tense smile. She glances at you and laughs, âSheâs nearly see-through, what are you doing to her?â
You frown and look down at your hands. Sure enough, youâre going translucent. You let out a silent groan, and tuck your knees into your chest. You take a few deep breaths until youâre one solid form again. Itâs so embarrassing when that happens, when you lose control over yourself like that.Â
But itâs even worse when Logan does it to you. He gives you hope, stupid, hateful hope, for one minute that he might feel something deeper. Only for it to be another joke. Youâre a walking mood ring, nothing more than a quick laugh to all of them.Â
Jean walks up the ramp, her gaze going to Logan first before drifting towards you. âAre you alright?â She mutters, trying not to let the others hear. Of course, Logan can, with his stupid enhanced abilities. âYouâre turning blue,â she points out and you roll your eyes.Â
You can feel Loganâs stare burning holes into the side of your head and it only makes you feel worse. You hate being a joke, but you also hate showing them just how much it affects you. You donât want to seem like a crybaby that canât handle a little teasing. But youâd thought coming to Charlesâ school meant people would stop poking fun at you. It feels like being dragged right back into high school.Â
âIâm fine,â you tell her. She doesnât look like she believes you but she takes a seat anyway. Of course, placing herself right next to Logan, even though her fiancee is a few feet away from her, looking just as hurt as you. They lean into each other and whisper. Theyâre not even trying to hide it anymore. You let your glare bore into the floor, ignoring how much seeing them together hurts.Â
The mission had gone well, Logan had been hoping to go to the bar and grab a drink with you. But the second his back is towards you, youâre running off the jet. Logan calls out your name, trying to catch up. You glance back at him, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He smiles at you and your eyes widen. You go invisible and Logan glances around, baffled.Â
He calls out your name again but the door ahead of him opens and closes quickly. He can only assume youâve run away again. You always run away from him. Youâre always pissed off at him. He doesnât know what Jeanâs talking about when she says you like him.Â
Loganâs never met anyone more repulsed by him.Â
âWould you just trust me?â Jean tells him lowly, creeping up behind him.Â
His face falls and he turns to her, glaring at her knowing smirk. âShe just fuckinâ ran away from me. Pretty sure thatâs about as good a hint as Iâm gonna get, Jean.â
She glances over her shoulder, waving Scott away and looping her arm through Loganâs. âYouâre an idiot, Howlett.â He scoffs and she swats at his shoulder. âTrust me, I can read minds, remember?â
Of course, he knows sheâs got some pretty decent telepathic abilities. But he didnât think she would so brazenly breach your boundaries. Thereâs an unspoken rule that the mind readers of the school donât delve into your brain without permission.Â
She sees the look on his face and sighs. âI didnât read her mind. She got drunk a little while ago and told me about her raging crush on you,â she laughs a little at your expense and Logan lets out a short chuckle. You can be a pretty sloppy drunk if they let you go too far. He figures it was one of those girlâs nights he wants nothing to do with. Youâd probably let the tight reigns you keep on yourself slip for once.Â
âShe goes red every time she sees me. I donât know what else that could mean other than she hates me.â Logan isnât surprised that youâre not taken with him like he is with you. Heâs used to the rejection, but it hurts just a bit more coming from you. Youâre so welcoming to the others.Â
You embrace every new member of the school with open arms. Yet, with him, you get angry whenever you see him. You see through his walls, see the rot lurking underneath them. And, rightfully, want nothing to do with him. He understands your reasoning.Â
Most days he barely wants anything to do with himself. Heâs made a lot of bad choices in his life, half of which he canât remember. But heâd hoped, for one minute, that you might give him a second chance. As much as Jean insists otherwise, he can see the truth of how you feel about him every time you run away.Â
âRed doesnât always mean anger,â Jean tells him elusively. Itâs the same thing youâd said to him on the jet. It makes his brows furrow in confusion and he glares at her.Â
âWhat else could it mean?â He demands sharply, sick of her teasing him with the possibility you might feel the same way.Â
She bites her lip, looking suddenly sheepish. âI canât say-â
âJean,â Logan snaps. He stops her from walking any further, keeping her planted in one spot with him. âTell me,â heâs sick of the games youâre both playing with him. He just wants some straight fucking answers. How hard is that?
She sighs and looks away from him. âI promised her I wouldnât tell.â
âAnd Iâm sure you promised you also wouldnât tell me how she feels about me,â he points out. Thereâs a sharp tone to his voice, itâs rude but he canât bother feeling guilty about it.Â
She canât meet his eye, a smirk fighting at the corner of her lips. He waits impatiently for her answer, irritation broiling quickly in his gut. Heâs about to snap at her again when she finally meets his eyes.Â
She speaks through a laugh, like what sheâs about to say is so ridiculous she canât hold it in. âShe wants,â she cuts herself off with another laugh and Logan groans in frustration. He begins to walk away from her when she yells, âShe wants to fuck you!â At his back.Â
His eyes widen in surprise before he turns back to her with a displeased look. âAre you fuckinâ with me?â He demands, narrowing his eyes at her suspiciously.Â
She shakes her head and brushes past him. âYou didnât hear it from me,â she warns, tone grave as she leaves the room.Â
Logan is left standing in the same spot, stunned at the revelation. Heâs not sure how much of that he believes. But he doesnât understand why Jean would possibly lie to him about this. She gains nothing by setting him up for failure. As much as he doubts the honesty behind her words, heâs got no other choice but to trust them.Â
He heads to the most likely place youâre hiding out. Charles has a private library thatâs blocked off from the kids. There are too many first editions in there, he canât risk any of them accidentally blowing them up. You like to head there when youâre trying to avoid people.Â
He tries to stay quiet as he walks in, not wanting you to run off again. Itâs hard to confront someone who goes invisible whenever she feels like it. He sees light blue hair draped over the back of an armchair. He feels like a creep as he stalks towards you, sneaking and pouncing on you so you canât run away.Â
He canât imagine how Jean ever thought him approaching you would be a good idea. He whispers your name, trying not to startle you. It doesnât take a genius to see how much you hate when the others scare you. They might not mean anything bad by it, but they have to be blind not to see how much it pisses you off.Â
You still jump, glancing up at him with a surprised look. He looks to your hair for any tells of how you feel. Some pink weaves its way through the stands but it otherwise stays relatively blue. His brows furrow in confusion, he canât tell if itâs a good or bad sign that thereâs no red.Â
âHow are ya, kid? Ran off pretty quick earlier.âÂ
âDonât call me that,â you mutter, giving him a brief glare before staring absently down at the book in your hands. Logan kneels beside your armchair, covering the pages with his hand. You huff, giving him an expectant look. âYes, Logan?â You demand, tone short.
Logan tilts his head, examining you and your body language. You seem relatively closed off, irritated at him or something else. He doesnât know what to say. Heâs never been good with words or trying to express how he feels. Heâs more comfortable showing how much he cares for those around him.Â
Throwing caution to the wind, he lets his hand drift to your wrist and tugs you forward. Your eyes widen as he drags you toward him. The kiss is short, he doesnât want to push you too much. But it takes everything in him to stop himself from deepening it. All he wants is to pull you into his arms and devour you.Â
He holds back, parting from you with a low exhale. Your eyes flutter open and he grins when he sees the bright red your hair has turned. âWhat,â you sputter and stumble over your words. You shove him back and leap to your feet. âWhat the hell was that?â You demand, voice higher than heâs ever heard of it. âWhat was that?â You ask him shrilly, again.Â
You almost seem to be stuck in a loop, blinking rapidly and asking the same thing. Logan chuckles and gets to his feet, he gives you a knowing look and you narrow your eyes at him in disbelief.Â
âJean told me.â
Your brows furrow and you shake your head. Realization dawns on your face and you gasp, looking up at him with something like horror on your expression. âNo,â you tell him lowly. âShe didnât,â it almost sounds like youâre begging him to tell you otherwise.Â
He laughs again and your face falls. You start going clear, he can see the bookshelf through your stomach and he sighs. He grabs your hand, holding onto you before you can run again. You donât even seem to be aware that youâre slowly disappearing from view.Â
âSheâs, uh,â he struggles to figure out what to say to make you feel better. âSheâs been coaching me,â he admits shamefully. âTrying to help me talk to you.â
You glance up at him but he can barely see your expression. The only thing reassuring him youâre here is his grip on you and your voice. âWhat? But I thought that-â You cut yourself off quickly and Logan glares down at where he thinks your face is.Â
âThought what?â
You take a long pause and exhale deeply. âI thought,â you mutter, âyou liked her.â
âSheâs with Scott,â he points out bluntly. He can practically hear you roll your eyes, even if he canât see it.Â
âYeah, I know. But you guys are always whispering to each other and making googly eyes.â
âGoogly eyes?â He interrupts, disgust clear in his tone.Â
âI was wrong,â you continue, ignoring him. âI see that now, but I thought you didnât care about me.â
Logan huffs, he hates that you thought that. He should have just been open with you from the start. Heâs faced rejection his whole life, he shouldnât have been so petrified of it just because it could come from you. If heâd just manned up and told you earlier, it would have saved you both a lot of time and hurt.Â
âKid,â he hopes heâs making eye contact with you and not just staring at some random book. Itâs really hard to tell when you go invisible like this. âYouâre the only person I care about in here.â
Youâre quiet for a long while and he worries youâve somehow slipped away without him realizing. But, ever so slowly, you start coming back into view. Logan awkwardly averts his eyes from your breasts, heâd been hoping he was making eye contact with you, clearly, he was wrong.Â
âYou mean that?â You ask, and he hates the trepidation in your voice. Heâs never been good with words, he doesnât know how to tell you how much you mean to him. But he can show you.Â
His hand drifts up your arm, wrapping around the back of your neck and tugging you towards him. You trip over your feet, hands landing on his chest to stabilize yourself. He leans down, hovering over your lips for a moment. He waits until your eyes drift shut and your lips purse impatiently before he finally kisses you again.Â
He doesnât hold himself back this time. He pours every racing thought heâs ever had about you, every one of his wanted-to-tell-you-how-he-feels-and-hasnât moments into the kiss. Your hands slowly curl up into his shirt, wrinkling it and tugging him further into you.Â
To his surprise, you deepen the kiss, mouth moving over his like you want to devour him whole. Heâs sure if he opened his eyes your hair would be a bright roaring red. He smirks against your lips, happy that, for once, he actually listened to Jean. If it gets him results like this, he might have to do it more often.Â
end. â I do not own the characters or the comics/movies Wolverine/X-Men, but this writing is my own all rights reserved Š not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
General Taglist: @evasmlp âĄÂ
Logan Taglist: @nonamevenus @smexy-bucky-waifu @wh1sp @peony-always @corvusmorte Â
@mrs-ephemeral @wolviesgirl @allllium @insomniachox @izbelross âĄÂ
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#logan howlett imagine#wolverine imagine#x-men x reader#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman#anon
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buffalo'66 au ! old!serial killer! rafe x young!sugardoll!reader
warnings : daddy issues/kink. slight of rafe having a god complex. smut. sick love/obssession/behavior. age gap. size kink. gunplay. spit. mean!dark!rafe. mentions of kidnapping/murdering. dark content. be careful with the warnings.
author's note : i think a lot about rafe having a god complex. and the way it could fix him to have a girl who cherish him and love him like he's just the only one. as the same i think a lot of rafe being a cult!leader with a sweet lamb. anyways, enjoy !
you knew you weren't allowed to touch his gun, but you couldn't pretend that the forbidden rules didn't excite you either. the proof being that you were still with rafe even though he had kidnapped you. you had found the glock in the drawer, and now you were having fun with it to the point where you hadn't heard your jailer come home. you were too captivated by the handgun to pay attention to that.
â will you teach me how to shoot ? â you asked in a soft tone.
â obviously not. but i can swear to you that if you don't put the gun right in my hand in a second, i will show you how i use it. especially on a little tiny thing like you. now stop playing and give it to me, sugardoll. i already told you to not get on my nerves. â
â are you a serial killer or something ? â you said to him, not aware about his job.
â no obviously, i'm a babysitter. see ? how well i care about little silly girls ? â he answered with the most sarcastic tone. â i think you already know what i am, but you like playing dumb. because you're desperate for my attention. you need me to explain things, to satisfy your need of validation. that's right ? â
he moved from his place, and placed himself behind you, your small body caged against his bigger size. you could feel all the pressure of his strength on you, and you started to shiver when his breath came near to your ears.
â since you want to play with daddy's gun so bad, i'm willing to give you what you want. â
â no, i don't want to play anymore ! â
â oh i'm afraid to tell it's too easy like that, sugar. the game doesn't stop when you decide. the game stops when iâm done playing. got it ? nod your head if you got it.â
you really started to be his doll, accepting to nod whenever he wants, to use you whenever he feels the need, to move whenever he decides. when you nodded your head, giving him a little look, he grabbed the gun.
â you will kill me ? don't, i can be good ! â
â you can ? no, you will. choose your words better, sugardoll. why are you crying right now ? the worse it yet to come actually. now, open that pretty mouth of yours. â
you refused, shaking your head. you were terrified that he would kill you.
â i said open it. if i have to repeat it, i swear that i will snap dry this gun further in your cunt, and everytime a sound will come out your mouth, pushing it deeper inside. do you understand me ? now, don't you want to be a baby sugardoll, full of kindness and sweetness ? show me how sweet and pretty you are for me. and listen to me. â
with tears on your cheeks, you slowly opened your mouth. you could feel rafeâs smile against your neck. you were so submissive, the perfect victim. he had chosen you well the day he saw you. like a true serial killer, he never missed his prey.
â this is why you call me sugardoll ? â
â see ? i'm good enough to give you a nickname. â
it was sick but you smiled, you felt like you were special in his eyes. maybe rafe had a collection of little dolls but you felt unique.
â don't kill me. i'm begging you. â
â fuck, you don't know how hard you make me when you're desperate like that. but trust me, i will make you see soon how good you make me feel. it will be your reward for being this sweet for me, sugardoll.â
he spread your legs, holding them wide with his strong hand covering your trembling thigh while his other hand brought the front of the gun down onto your skin. passing the coldness of steel across your tummy, while you shivered at the thought of dying. when he got to your underwear. you had heard his smirk.
"oh sure, you don't want to die. you want to be fucked. it's so wet here, i could stick the gun in without even preparing you, it would slide off so easily.â his mocked tone made you yelp.
â i'm not controlling myself ! â
â and you don't need too. let me take care of you. keep your mouth open. i will put my gun in. â
â i can't do this ! it seems very dangerousâŚâ
â then suck it well, sugar. especially, if you don't want me to empty the gun on your gorgeous throat. â he warned you, while pressing his lips on your neck. it was not a kiss, but you were so soft for this little touch. you wanted to please him, to see him proud of you.
he rushed the pistol between your wet plump lips, and you almost choked on it. â be careful, doll, daddy's gun it's loaded. â he said with a smile that made your tears even saltier.
while you had started to do your job, his fingers were lightly pressed on the surface, fiddled with the trigger. he loved seeing your petrified eyes, he loved feeling your blood freeze inside your veins, the way you resembled a frightened and helpless animal. you were defenseless and he had no limits.
you lapped at the cold metal at first, your tongue rolling over the barrel, swirling like a needy pet, and licking every bit of the object. you didn't waste anything, moistening the weapon with your own spit, some trails dripped down your tits. rafe had pushed the gun farther, almost into your throat. you choked, a trail of saliva raining over your jaw.
there was nothing amusing about it, but he found it fun. you sucked like your life depended on it even though let's be honest, it did. you moved back and forth quickly, rushed every movement with a softly sloppy gasp. he loved, no he adored the view of your ruined face and your mouth stuffed by the cold weapon. your great job made his dick painfully hard. you could feel the gun under your tongue, and the way it abused you. you drooled, a batch of saliva engulfing one side of the charger.
â slow down, sugardoll, you're about to melt. â
you felt dirty for being turned on by something so humiliating, the way you were pathetic for every single thing he introduced you to. it was as if he knew what you wanted, and how to exploit it. he could destroy you as well as shape you. you were nothing but the doll he wanted to play with. he knew more than anyone how to make you feel good. he knew well how to play with his toys.
you were killing him slowly with the way you were going about it, your pink tongue tickling the barrel, your mouth swallowing the entirety of his gun. every inch moved in and out of your parted lips. you lost count of the number of times you almost choked to the point you could throw up, you did your best.
the cold air of the room hit the soaked fabric of your underwear. it had gotten so wet down there.
you tried to focus on this dangerous game but you saw his bulge growing, his crotch distorting his pants.
â keep sucking, i'm not done. â
â but ..."
he ignored you and took off his pants and boxers, freeing his hard cock. the next minute he was inside you, completely buried to the point where you could feel him all the way to your stomach. you salivated on the handgun, making a rain all over it.
as he filled you up, his thick cock abusing your tight pussy, the position was totally different, you were lying there, still the gun in your mouth, but now he was fucking you. his eyes were on you, and you could feel that motivating him even more to pounded you. your juices pooled on the surface the deeper he went. the slobber gathered around the metal. he rushed away your tears with his thumb.
â stop whining, sugardoll. you can't cry when daddy takes you so well. â
you really wanted to listen to him but it was too much for you. you were full of tears and they constantly wanted to come out, even when you felt good. but it was like the more you cried, the more he bullied your pussy, and by that, giving you more reasons to whine.
â jesus, i'm pretty sure that you really like that gun in your mouth. â he said with a firm thrust that made you squirm, your eyes wettering as the sentence. â you like being this pathetic ? don't worry, i got you, i'm not judging you, but don't mind if i take advantage of it ? of course, you don't mind. you love being this sick, you're just a needy freak. â
he pulled out before putting it back in you, inched himself deeper and deeper, letting you breathless. he was more rough this time, his fat length stretching you wider. his hips slammed your skin, his sweaty balls slapping you in motion. you nodded your head, your loud moans echoed in the empty room. his heavy hand on your tiny throat, pressuring it every time your walls tighten him.
his big other hand squeezing your small waist, as your core wrapped him harder. â see ? daddy's making you a new home, right now. â
his breath was heavy and short, the sweat of his body pressed against yours, while you were about to explode, so close to the orgasm. you were crying even more. and he covered your mouth with his large palm. he hitted the right spot again and again, without a break. you reached the second orgasm quickly, and you waited for him to explode at his turn. but he was taking his time on purpose. he obviously liked to abuse this little cunt of yours, wrecking like it was nothing your cervix. he glared at your glistening eyes with a proud face, while hurting your sloppy cunt. â be patient, sugar. it's a matter of time but daddy will make you melt, and you will make a big mess on his dick to show how grateful you are ? â
you didnât answered, even when he released your mouth from his hands, because of the overheating.
â you better answer because i can go to the next round. â
â yes .. yes !! â
â you're so naive, sugar. trusting me this easy, it's your own fault if old men like me use you. like did you really think we will not go on another round ? i'm about to make you dumb. not only your brain, your pussy, all of you. after this, you will not be able to think, to talk and even to walk. â
your tears made him cum, and you let out a noisy and desperate whimper. â it's sad for you that i'm the only god you can pray for, because i'm going to ignore all your prayers, making you on your knees every time for nothing more than my own good. sweet lamb, i'm such an uncaring god. but you can't hate on me, even a little, such a pretty precious thing you are. â
â why ? â was the only word that came out of your mouth.
in fact, you were a little sad about this, because you wished that he cared a bit, even an hint about you.
â nobody deserve you like i do. nobody deserve to touch you, or put an eyes on you, no one. you're just mine, and i need you to understand that clearly. do you got it ? do you even understand what i mean ? i will never let someone have you. never. â
â i really love you. â
â not only you love me, sugardoll. you adore me, you cherish me, you can't breath without me. do you understand ? how trapped i made you.â
â buâŚâ
â quit crying. you wanted this, you begged for. â
â i thought you only wanted to kill me ! â
âif i wanted to kill you, it would already be done. i don't mind having blood in my hands, i'm a killer after all. but yours, i promise, i would never dream of, sugardoll. â
it was very sick. but his words made you smile.
â i want to hug you ! â
â don't make me regret my words. i still can choke you to death. â
â can i ask a question ? â
â jesus, if you don't yap more than a thousandth time each day, you're dead or what ? i swear, tell me your question, but choose it carefully because it will be the last. so, use your dumby brain very well. â
â i just wanted to knowâŚif it's the first time you do this with one of your victims ? â
â why do you want to know ? â
â you need to answer ! â
â and you need to mind your own business. â
â i asked you a question ! it's not fair if you don't answer it ? â
â you better not try to raise your voice at me because i can shout, and trust me, the tears i will bring in your face will not be that pretty. â
â you're still mean to meâŚnothing has changed. â
â and you're still annoying. yes, nothing has changed.â
and you smiled at him, your sweet eyes melted on his unhichanged look.
â someday i know you will love me too ! â
â bold to have faith, better to work on it, sugardoll. â
you gave him a sweet look, even if he was grumpy, you wanted him.
#dark!rafe x reader#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader smut#outer banks smut#mean!rafe#dark content#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron smut#rafe obx#dark!rafe#buffalo 66#obx au#obx aesthetic#rafe cameron angst#rafe angst#tw gunplay#tw kidnap mention#tw age gap#tw size difference#smut#obx smut#x reader#rafe x fem!reader#dark fic#god complex
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"Let me take care of you" - Max Verstappen
pairing . . . max verstappen x reader )
genre . . . smut )
summary . . . after a disastrous race, you take care of max the best way you know how )
warning . . . smut, 18+ MINORS DNI, oral (m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, nipple play, use of petnames, sub!max, very soft dom!reader, traumatized maxie, not proofread )
word count . . . 2800 words )
a/n . . . this actually ended up a lot more emotional than i intended it to be but i hope everyone likes it anyway. i don't know if my smut writing is getting better or worse tbh. any and all feedback is always appricated <3 )
Max was a perfectionist; anyone could see that. He also had a desire to win like nobody else. He never let up. It didnât matter to him if it was a title deciding race or a completely meaningless one, he needed to win. It had been instilled in him for as long as he could remember; second place is first loser after all. So naturally, when his brakes failed, and his car very literally caught fire in the Australian Grand Prix causing him to have to retire three laps into the race; you knew he was not going to take it well. Â
You were watching along in the garage, and the only thing you could think about as his smoking car pulled up to the pits was how hard on himself he was going to be. The fact that it was through no fault of his own was irrelevant. He had just handed a win to Ferrari, and that made his blood boil. Â
In typical Max fashion, you barely saw him after he retired too. He gave you a quick hug as he reached the garage but after that it was straight back to business. He made his way to the pit wall and immediately began discussing with Christian and GP what exactly happened and how do they fix it for Japan. He sent you a text that he was going to stay late at the track with the mechanics so that you should just head back to the hotel. Â
Truthfully, Max was avoiding you. You had only been dating Max for a couple of months, and so far you had only seen him dominate on track. And whilst you were concerned that that he would be beating himself up for disappointing himself or the team, he was busy focusing on how he had disappointed you. You had taken time out of your busy university schedule to travel to the other side of the world to see him race, and he had to retire three laps in. He was used to people living through him, taking his wins as theirs. He had never considered that all you cared about that he was safe and didnât get hurt. Â
So, you went to the hotel and waited for him; or at least you tried to. Tiredness and jet lag eventually started to catch up to you, and you had just started to drift off to sleep when you heard the door open. Looking up greet Max, you could see immediately how heavy the weight he bore on his shoulders hung. Â
âHey baby, how are you feeling?â You asked him sleep in your voice still evident. Max just hung his head and walked into the bathroom. He half expected you to berate him. To question him on exactly what went wrong and what heâs going to do to fix it. Â
âMaxie?â You asked again, as he came in from the bathroom and made his way to his side of the bed, his eyes routed to the floor. This time he just grunted at you in response before getting into bed and turning away from you. He did not have the energy to be told everything he did wrong and why - he had already had that from his dad. Â
âPlease talk to me Maxie, Iâm worried.â You pleaded at him, fighting the urge to wrap your arms around him. You wanted that more than anything, but you sensed that he maybe didnât feel the same. Â
âWhat do you want Y/N?â He finally spoke, his voice cracking. Â
âAre you okay? I know that was tough result to take but itâs only once race. We both know youâll be back better than ever for the next one.â Â
To your words, Max just grunted again. And this time you couldnât help but reach over to hold him. Wrapping one of your arms around his waist and the other coming up to brush through his hair. You waited cautiously for him to pull away. A moment passed and he began to move, your heart sank; he clearly didnât want to be anywhere near you right now. But instead of moving away, he just turned around, bringing himself closer to you, resting his head on your chest. Â
âI just hate to let the team downâ he spoke, his voice no more than a whisper, like he wasnât 100% convinced if he should be saying anything. Â
âBut baby you didnât let them down, you did nothing wrong. There was an issue with the car that isnât your fault.â You gazed down at his face, your hands smoothing through his hair. Â
âI could have done something. Maybe I pushed the brakes too much. Maybe I went too hard. All I know is that I let the team down. I let my dad down. I let you down. You cam-â He started to ramble, but you had heard enough.  Â
âWhoa Max baby slow down. I canât speak for the team or your dad, but you certainly did not let me down. All that matters to me is that you didnât get hurt. I was so worried; you were literally driving a car that was on fire. You could have been hurt.â Â
As the words left your mouth, he looked up at you. Almost as if he was trying to see if you were telling the truth. When his eyes met yours and he realized you were being sincere, he hugged tighter into you. Â
âI love you Y/Nâ he spoke and before you could say anything, you felt him bring his mouth to your neck. Leaving hot open-mouthed kisses from your collarbone up to until he met your mouth. His lips crashed against yours. The kiss was hungry and desperate. His hands found your hair and his teeth nipped at your lips. He quickly found himself getting lost in you and you werenât too far behind. But when his hands wandered towards the bottom of your pajama top, you had to pull away. Â
âWait, Maxie. Are you sure you want to do this? Youâve had a rough day, are you sure you want to do this. We could just go to sleep if youâd prefer.â You didnât want him to feel like this was something he needed to do. Â
But when his lips once again found your neck, it was clear you had your answer. âPleaseâ he mumbled against your skin âI just want to forgetâ between each word he left a kiss on your neck, before beginning to nibble against that one spot on your neck that he knew always sent you completely insane. He left deep purple marks all down your neck and you couldnât help but let a moan slip through your lips. Â
You were about to completely cave into his touch before you had an idea, and before you could overthink whether it was a good idea, you swung your legs over him until you had him pinned underneath you, your legs either side of his. A smirk plastered across your faceÂ
Max looked completely taken aback at your action, but the second you leant down to kiss him, your lips just slightly brushing against his; he was starstruck and could feel himself growing harder by the second, which only deepened your smirk. Â
âLet me take care of you babyâ you whispered in his ear before beginning to grind your core against him. The whimper that left Maxâs lips took you both by surprise but, taking that as confirmation that he wanted you to take control; you attached your lips to his neck, trailing kisses down his chest until you reached the waistband of his underwear. It was clear from the way that his hard dick strained against the cloth that Max was enjoying this new side of you, and you could be lying if you said it didnât give you a bit of a confidence boost.Â
You started to tease him, placing warm kisses over his underwear, but when you hear him try and fail to beg you to touch him, it becomes clear that maybe today isnât the day to tease him. So, you hook your fingers around his waistband and release him from the tight confines of the cloth. Immediately, your mouth found his cock, your lips wrapping around his tip. Maxâs moans filled the air as he came apart like putty in your hands. The way that your tongue swirled around him made him go crazy. He reached out his hands to grab your hair in a makeshift pony, but you dodged him. Max honestly thought he was going to cry when you took your mouth off him.Â
âNo baby, I told you I was going to take care of you, you just sit back and let me do everythingâ you told him before quickly placing a kiss on his lips before reattaching your mouth to Maxâs throbbing dick and bringing your hand to the part of it that you couldnât fit in your mouth. Max felt lightheaded; itâs not like you hadnât given him a blowjob before, but never like this. He couldnât ever remember being this turned on before. He had never even considered letting you take control, letting you take care of him so intently before; but now that he was experiencing it â he kicked himself for waiting so long.Â
The sounds coming from your boyfriend were music to your ears and only encouraged you to make him feel better and better. You could feel yourself getting wetter, completely desperate to feel him inside of you; but today was about Max, youâd happily wait longer for your own pleasure to take care of him. You began taking him deeper and deeper into your throat, earning more moans from Max. You had never heard him be so vocal before. Things got even better for him when you hallowed your cheeks and brought your hand up to his balls, massaging them in your hands as you worked his dick in your mouth.  When his tip hit the very back of your throat and you gagged around him, he was so loud you were just slightly concerned that whoever was in the room next door would be up for a rude awakening. Â
âOh, fuck baby, oh my god. Iâm so closeâ Max just about managed to get out between moans, promoting you to once again let go of his dick. For a second Max looked at you with puppy dog eyes, silently begging you to take him back in your mouth. But as soon as you stood up and very slowly pulled your pajama shorts down, he realized that there were better things to come. Â
âDo you want me to ride you, Maxie?â you asked him breathlessly earning another groan from the man lying on the bed.Â
âFuck, yes. Please please ride me I need to be inside of you more than anythingâ Maxâs voice was weak; it was becoming all too much for him. And when you finally rid yourself of your pajama top, Max started to see stars. Your tits were his weakness, and you knew that all too well. All he wanted was to take them in his mouth, to suck and bite on your nipples. So, when you straddled him once again, that's exactly what he did. You thought about stopping him again, reminding him that tonight was about him and his pleasure; but when you caught sight of his eyes â usually so bright and sparkling. Now they were so dark, so filled with lust and desperation, you didnât have the heart to deprive him of one of his favorite things to do. Â
You leant down to kiss him again, and the taste of his own precum on your tongue made him groan feverishly against your lips. Unable to wait anymore, you finally lowered yourself onto his dick. Now it was your turn to let out a string of moans and profanity. The way that he stretched you out was a feeling that you could never grow old of. After a beat to get used to having him inside of you, you began to bounce on top of him, pumping his dick in and out of your tight desperate pussy. Â
âOh my god Maxie you feel so good, your huge dick sends me so crazyâ You moan out, completely cock drunk. âYou fuck me so good, god nobody makes me feel like you canâ Your praise made Max moan louder than ever and then he simply couldnât help himself anymore; he brought his hands up to your hips and began thrusting hard into you. You wanted to tell him to stop, to tell him to let you take care of him â but when he rammed his cock into g-spot you physically couldnât ask him to stop doing something that felt so good. Â
âI love you so much Y/N babyâ Max croaked out, bringing his mouth back to your tits and his hand down to your clit. Him touching you for the first time tonight meant it was now time for you to see stars. His expert hands rubbing against your clit brought you closer and closer to release and you could tell from the way that Maxâs thrusts became deeper and harder that he wasnât far behind you.Â
Wanting to finish what you had started; you placed your hands on his chest â signaling him to stop for a second. Max did so very reluctantly, but when you started to bounce on his dick again his eyes rolled back into his head. After each bounce you grinded yourself down on him, desperate to get him as deep as you possibly could. Your climax was getting closer and closer and soon you felt like you were ready to burst.Â
âIâm going to cum on your dick okay baby? You just make me feel so good I canât help myself.â you told the man beneath you breathlessly, prompting Max to resume rubbing circles into your clit.Â
âPlease do. Please cum all over my cock I need that so muchâ Max croaked out and with that you fell over the edge. A wave of pleasure washed over you and you screamed out for Max. It felt so good you thought you were going to pass out, completely taken over by the pleasure that Maxâs hard dick had given you. For a few moments, you simply had to still yourself to let yourself recover.Â
Once you had ridden out the last of your orgasm, you were ready to go again; ready to make Max feel as good as you possibly could. You began grinding down onto him, squeezing yourself against him. After feeling you cumming all over him, Max knew he wouldnât need long before he was right behind you. Â
âFuck Y/N Iâm really close, get off and Iâll finish in your mouthâ Max just about got out between moans. When you didnât get off and instead began bouncing faster and harder, Max really thought he might just die. Â
âCum inside of me Maxie please, I need your cum fucked so deep inside meâ Â
âFuck really?âÂ
âYeah, i need it so bad.âÂ
âOh my god Y/N, youâll be the fucking death of meâÂ
The second those words left his mouth, he fell apart. A string of profanity left his lips, and you could feel his dick pulse inside of you as he painted the insides of you white with his cum. Max couldnât believe how good it felt, sex with you was always great but that was on another level, he couldnât remember ever feeling that good before.Â
âI love you so much Y/NâÂ
He gently slipped himself out of you and you collapsed next to him on the bed. Exhausted wasnât the word for how tired you felt after that. And apparently that was true for Max as well as in the time that it took you to waddle to the toilet to clean yourself up, he had managed to fall asleep. You couldnât blame him of course; even before that it had been a very long tiering day for him. So, as quietly as you could, you got ready for bed and slipped yourself into bed next to him. Â
Looking at the very peaceful sleeping man next to you, you couldnât help but snuggle down close to him. Placing a kiss on his temple before assuming the big spoon position that you know he loves so much from you. Your movement causing him to ever so slightly stir awake.Â
âYouâre the best thing that ever happened to meâ he spoke so softly you almost missed it before falling right back into a very peaceful sleep. You couldnât help but feel so lucky to have a man like him cuddled close to you.Â
âSleep well Maxie, I love you more than anything.âÂ
#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula 1#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen x y/n#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#formula one x reader#f1 imagine#max verstappen smut#max verstappen x oc#f1 smut#formula one smut#formula 1 smut
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Jayce Talis as a Husband & Father | Headcanons
⸠ask: "hiii i was wondering if you could do post s2 arcane headcanons for Jayce?? like jayce x wife!reader that have a newborn baby??" ⸠pairing: jayce talis x wife!reader ⸠word count: 923 words ⸠tags: mdni! sfw, fluff, comfort, mentions of jayceâs trauma, pregnancy, headcanons, childbirth, parenthood, canon-divergent ending. ⸠notes: i went really poetic with this idk why. also this definitely heightened my already terrible baby feverâŚâŚ. please for the love of god send me more asks about girldad jayce, i am begging you. i love writing these.
When you met Jayce Talis, you fell madly in love with him almost instantlyâas did he with you. Within the first six months of your relationship, he proposed to you with a ring that heâd smithed himself, adorned with a hextech gemstone that sparkled unlike anything youâd ever seen. Of course, you said yes⌠and moved in within that same week.
Living with Jayce Talis meant dealing with the aftershocks of what heâd gone through during his time in the arcane and subsequent war. With a permanently injured leg and mental wounds that left him cursed by night terrors, you were they by his side to help him overcome his past. You were the rock he hadnât known he needed, the one who encouraged him to keep fixing what heâd broken (and not without his partner, Viktor.)
Although heâd gone through hell and back, he found joy and happiness in you again. No longer was he filled with anger and guilt for allowing his naivety to take control of what was rightâall Jayce wanted was to be happy. With you.Â
When you found out you were pregnant, Jayce was over the moon, excited and horribly nervous. He constantly worried whether or not heâd be a good father, and the absence of his own in his life made him uncertain. He would spend countless evenings with his mother, asking her hundreds of questions about parenthood, which either made it better or worse depending on what he wanted to know.
However, the worry washed away when he held his little girl in his armsâweighing shy of six pounds and so tiny in his arms. It was a beautiful sight, a rugged man with messy hair, scarred arms, and calloused hands holding the love of his life.
Your daughter brings out a side of Jayce that Viktor told you is reminiscent of his life when they first met all those years ago: gentle, curious, nervous and much too excited.Â
Jayce is messy and clumsy in his parenting, learning as he goes, but he is so dedicated. Heâs used to being covered in stains but no longer in oil and soot from his work. Now itâs spit-up and dried milk⌠among other things. And to you, heâs never looked sexier than when heâs a mess.
Even though heâs still a councillor and working with Viktor on restabilizing hextech, he makes time for his family. The days of late-night tinkering in the lab or long council meetings are in the past because there is nothing more important to him than you two.
He is a very overprotective dad, constantly worrying about the little things and often getting sleepless nights because he checks on her one too many times to make sure sleeping soundly in her crib. He baby-proofs your home with everything he can makeâdoorstops, locks for the cabinets and removing any of his work from his home to the lab so there are no accidents. Itâs cute, but considering that your daughter is shy of two months old, the baby-proofing tends to get in the way, but you let him. âFather knows bestâ is a term he coins and uses, much to your annoyance.
Jayce always splits the tasks of parenting between you two but is never opposed to taking on more than you if you need the rest. As you slowly transition to include bottle feeding in your routine, he takes on nightly shifts for you. You find him asleep a few times, sitting up against the crib with a blanket covered in spit-up draped over his shoulder and an empty bottle in his hand.
He is a sentimental man. He makes a locket that he wears as a necklace every day, tucked beneath his clothing, and shows it off to anyone that he canâa photo of you and your daughter inside it.
You swear youâve never been more in love with Jayce than you are now. A loving father and husband who doesnât let his new role as a parent overshadow his love for you.
Heâs just as romantic as he was the first time he took you on a date. A month after you gave birth and were far too stir-crazy to be at home any longer, Ximena watched your daughter, and he took you out on a date that reminded you of simpler times. Showering you with gentle touches and kisses that set your heart on fire and reignited your passion.
Jayce noticed how your confidence dropped since the pregnancy. He finds you looking at yourself in the mirror and trying to love the body that grew your daughter, hands over your still-rounded stomach and tracing the stretchmarks. Changes that look so large in your eyes go unnoticed by him, and he makes sure to cherish your body as a reminder that his love for you hasnât changed.
Every night in bed, he kisses your stomach, your hips, your thighsâpeppering your body with kisses and massaging you as he worships your strength and beauty, silently thanking you for bringing your daughter into the world.Â
As with any relationship, there are good days and bad. Some days go so smoothly that you wonder if you both were naturally inclined to be the perfect parents. Then come the days when all you can do is argue, overcome with the stress, fears and worries of marriage and parenthood.
But you make it through because to be loved by Jayce Talis is to feel love unlike anything you have experienced before, and that is worth the hardships.
#jayce talis x reader#jayce x reader#jayce talis x you#jayce x you#jayce talis x y/n#jayce x y/n#jayce talis#jayce arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane x y/n#arcane#arcane fic#jayce talis fic#wordsbyspatial#spatialanswers
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DPXDC: I wanna be like most girls ghosts.
or Danny: What should I do to make my mom happy?
or ~Danny deserves a little teenage rebellion as a treat~
Maddie: I just want this damned Phantom to stop pretending to be a hero! All ghosts are pure evil, who is he trying to deceive? Danny: Oh, really? And Danny took it personally.
Itâs not Dannyâs fault that heâs a good kid and wants to make his parents happy. But why would he have to be a monster to make them happy? Why must they hate him to be happy?
Dannyâs obsession was going crazy.
Well, when your own parents call you a monster in the face, it hurts. Why do they always believe that only their opinion is the absolute truth? They have no idea how much worse things would be if at least some of the ghosts really behaved the way Maddie and Jack think theyâre supposed to. If he really is evil by nature, is there any point in fighting his own fate? They want to see him as a villain, he will become one. He will. He just needs a little help and practice. And not bring it to the level when Clockwork has to clean up his mess. Poor guy is without a vacation for how long? Couple of millennia?
Johnny 13: Sup. Danny: F*ck off, Johnny, Iâm not in the mood. Busy thinking about world domination. Get out of here or Iâll call Kitty. Johnny 13: Whatâs wrong? Youâre usually so grouchy only towards the end of the week. Danny: Nothing. Just parents. Again. They are wonderful but I canât help but feel sometimes that they, em⌠Johnny 13: Suck? Danny: RightâŚDamn. Iâm a terrible son. Maybe something is wrong with me. Johnny 13: What? No, no, dude. Youâre just growing up. And youâre a little late, usually teenagers go through that stage before they graduate. Well, youâve probably been busy with other issues, so just missed it. Danny: I wonder whose fault it is. Arenât there ghosts who enjoyed to ruin my life in the middle of school day?
Johnny 13: Oh, bother. Anyway, youâre entering a beautiful time of emancipation, where youâre going to shape your own view of life and, along the way, to get drunk on cheap alcohol at parties, maybe to go to jail and to become the greatest disappointment to your family..And then you will be ashamed to remember it for about the next ten years. Danny: Well, it looks like Iâve already done two out of three additional things. Great success. Johnny 13: When did you get drunk? Danny: I didnât. Johnny 13: Oh. Want to fix that? Danny: What? No. What an idiot wants to add a headache to his problems? Johnny 13: Well, your loss, then Iâll go terrorize the bars of Gotham alone and no one can stop me. Letâs see what your boyfriend will say about it. ~~~~~ Danny: Bartender, another shot of Dead Manâs Fingers, please. Red Hood: Babe, havenât you had enough? Danny: Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you try, no matter how many sacrifices you make, in their eyes youâll always be nothing more than a monster? Nothing more than a mistake? Oh, Death doesnât give people like me a break. Red Hood: âŚIâll have what heâs having. *gives the bartender a sign to switch the rum shots to a batburger milkshake for them, and starts talking to Danny so that he doesnât understand Hood's scams*
~~~~~
Johnny 13: Other peopleâs kids are growing up so fast. It seems like yesterday he didnât know how to shoot ectoblast, and now.. Kitty: Stop trying to make me feel bad, weâre leaving. Johnny 13: But the boy needs our support, honey boo!
~~~~~
Danny: I'm fine. Really, I am. This isnât the first time momâs called me a monster. She often called me that when she was upset with my behavior in my childhood. Huh, it's even funny. Jason: Thereâs nothing funny about that. Danny: No, you donât understand. Looking back, I was really a very active child and didnât know when to stop. Not surprisingly that I often annoyed my parents. Theyâre very busy people, and Jazz couldnât always keep an eye on me. And I was often afraid to go to sleep alone because there were shadows in the darkness of my room. Well, I used to think they were. But I pretended everything was okay to not distract parents from work. Jason: Hey, itâs not your fault. You were a child. Obviously, kiddo requires a lot of attention, they must have understood that. You are the second child in the family, right? Danny: Well, Jazz was different. I donât know. Anyway, I thought if the monsters behind the curtain and under the bed were just like me, well, according to my mom, you know, then they wouldnât want to hurt me. And since they look after me, they are friends. So I kinda greeted all the suspicious noises and howls. Huh, I was a strange kid. Jason: If you smile at someone in the dark alley right now that someone is more likely to wet themselves or faint. Danny: Rude! Iâm not that scary. Admit that Iâm adorable. Do it right now. Jason: Stunning, darling. But still carry a gun and a knife, please. My childhood taught me that what's hiding in the dark is worth beating up. Danny: Come on, what should I be afraid of? Death? Anyway, I want to try this shit. Like, the inevitable one. Being a bad boy, you know? Hood *raises eyebrows*. Danny: Oh damn it man, I'm talking about ghostliness. I want to try to be like most of dead ones. I want to unleash my side of the trickster and the villain. But only a little bit. I have to be supervised so that things don't go too far. Would you help me, honey?
~~~~~2 hours later~~~~
~~~~~
Goons used to expect a lot of weirdness from working with the boss.
Sometimes Bruce Wayne would go into their base and yell at the Red Hood like he's one of his kids. Of course Wayne's well-known as 'Gotta adopt them all' but the guy must really suffer from insomnia to count the Red Hood into his brood of chicks several times. Sometimes the boss would fight Robin or Nightwing over differences in moralsâŚor for biscuits. It varied from moment to moment. Sometimes the boss caught the local street children, fed them and taught them to steal correctly. And most of the foundlings stayed with them under their protection.
To make a long story short, Red Hood is not the typical crime lord that some of them had to deal with before. Which is a blessing. Thanks Lord for the health insurance. But still the crime lord. Which means he's still scary, and sometimes deadly.
Anyway, when the boss brought in a guy who looked more civilian than any civilian in the whole Gotham and said he was going to be their intern, they thought it was a joke at first. Despite the fact that Hood was not in the habit of joking while working.
The teenager was too well-mannered and sweet to come from Crime Alley. Phil thought the guy was gonna run when he saw the first murder, Jessica didnât think the domestic boy wouldnât chicken out at the sight of a fight. But arguing with a bossâs orders in their profession is like asking for a bullet in the head, so these conversations were taking place outside of their boss's sight. God, how can they teach him anything? What do you take from a boy whoâs only good to do the coffee run? Fenton will fall if theyâll give him something heavier than 10 pounds. And then boss will yell at them because he treats the new guy like a princess on a pea. Well, at least thatâs what they thought until the boss decided to give the new guy his own assignments:
~~~~~
Red Hood: So, what have you learned during your internship, my young Padawan? Danny: Well, it looks like Iâm gonna suck at being a criminal mastermind. I think I may have to find myself some other profession. Red Hood: Come on, you just need a little more practice. Danny: Thank you but I donât think thatâs fit my obsession that good. Don't misunderstand me, I wanna be like most ghosts. But I was wrong to go to hit that goal only base on human stereotypes about my nature. Red Hood: What a pity. The newbies just learned not to flinch when you walk in. But, to be honest, I'm not gonna miss the adrenaline-boosting roller coaster of you at work. Danny: Oh, and I guess to hold on to the concept of humanity was really stupid too. I clearly no longer fit in and Iâm finally ready to accept that. So, hopefully, if you get into trouble, you can rely on my ghostliness and call for help. I am the spirit of many talents and of my word. I can haunt your enemies or walk through the walls of Arkham Asylum. Whatever you need, Iâll be here. Red Hood: Iâll bear that in mind.
#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc crossover#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dead on main#dead on main ship#alcohol
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BEG!
Tags: Satoru x fem!Reader, nocurse!au, misogynistic!gojo, college!au, reader puts him in his place, CRACK do not take this fic seriously, enemies to lovers, suggestive, mdni
Synopsis: Satoru is a stupid alpha bro whoâs misogynistic and a play boy in a fraternity at your college. He learns that he canât walk all over you, and that turns him on.
An: Thank you to everyone who commented on that post and encouraged me to write this! I didnât think you guys would eat it up like you did đ
I thought this would be a smutty one-off, but I actually wanted to try and make it into something a little more meaningful; hence why it took a bit longer to post. This is only part one :)
The party. |
His house screamed wealth and overconsumption at every corner. Money was obviously frivolously spent with building and furnishing the Gojo fraternity house. It was sleek, modern, but still a devastating bachelorâs pad.
The Gojo fraternity held parties every day of the weekend, including Sunday. Women got in for free, and men had to pay 5 dollars to get in. Not that Satoru needed the money â he was disgustingly wealthy and a trust fund baby. He merely charged guys money that way no one below his standard could just waltz into his frat house.
Of course, he truly believed every other man in the frat house was below him in some way. He had the full package: smart, funny, rich, handsome, a dick that should be registered as a legal weapon.
It was no wonder that women was never an issue for him. He found flirting with them to be like childâs play. Itâs just too fucking easyâŚ. pun intended. He and Suguru once had a challenge to see who could pick up the most women in a single night. Satoru ended his night after fucking 9 women in a single night, and one of those events was actually a foursome between him and three girls at once.
Honestly, he could be so much worse. With a witty personality and a mouth that just wonât shut up, he could talk his way into or out of anything.
Itâs a Sunday night, which usually isnât a big turn out for the party at his house since everyone has class the next morning. Plus, all homework is due at 11:59pm on Sundays. But this turn out was just embarrassing, there was merely 10 people all sat in his living room.
Suguru already had a girl in his lap. Everyone was giggling about something. Satoru felt like he had a chip on his shoulder, he wasnât the center of attention right now, so he had to fix that.
Plus, there was a pretty girl in the room who he wanted to impress.
Sitting down in front of you, Satoru grins and hands you a cup undoubtedly of liquor. âHere you go, sweetness. Have one more.â He encourages, knowing that itâd be easier to chat you up if youâre a little buzzed.
âOh, thanks.â You smile politely, and you fake taking a drink out of it. Youâve heard the stories about Satoru, and thereâs just no way in hell youâre drinking something he gives you.
âWhat are you all talking about?â Satoru asks with a casual grin, and he takes a sip of his own drink.
âOh, just how dumb Andrew Tate is.â A nobody responds from within the group.
âWhat? Heâs not dumbâŚâ Satoru nearly pouts as his favorite starboy was being harshly criticized by his friends.
âOh god, donât tell me you like him.â You say with disgusted look on your face as you eye Satoru. Now, youâre definitely not drinking whatever he just gave you.
Satoruâs face twists in defense as you so boldly speak up about his interests. Itâs clear to you that heâs offended, but heâs trying not to make a big deal out of it.
âWhy? What do you think is so bad about him?â He retorts as he cocks an eyebrow, leaning back in his seat to try to appear as confident and collected as possible.
âHow about how he treats women like shit?â You ask, raising your own eyebrow. Satoru has another thing coming if he thinks youâre just going to bow down and not argue with him because heâs rich.
âHe doesnât treat women like shit-? Where are you getting your facts from?â Satoru argues, and his jaw tightens a minuscule amount. Itâs bad enough that heâs being challenged, but heâs being challenged by a woman.
âHis literal interviews, and the video of him literally beating a woman?â
âThat video was just a sex act without any context.â He dismisses, rolling his eyes and not dispelling any claims about the interviews.
âBitch, is that what sex sounds like to you? Because you must not be doing it right if she sounds like that.âThe room erupts into laughter, and Satoruâs face only makes it better. His pale skin is becoming a little flushed. His eyebrow is twitching slightly with anger.
He takes a breath before quickly recovering. He hasnât forgotten his objective tonight is to sleep with you. His signature smile returns to his face, and he leans in slightly. âI donât know. Why donât you come teach me how to do it right?â
âAs if. Iâd rather grind my pussy against a cheese grater than fuck an Andrew Tate fan.â More laughter breaks out amongst the small group of people.
Satoruâs jaw drops as he looks at you with disbelief. Youâd rather⌠grate your cunt than sleep with him? âOh yeah? So, what kind of guy piques your interest then, princess? You probably like those woke emasculated guys. Suguru might be more up your alley.â
âHey, what the fuck?â Suguru laughs, chunking an empty beer can at Satoruâs head. The girl in Suguruâs lap continues to mindlessly giggle and play with his hair.
âNo, I like men who are calm and capable. Maybe a guy who can lead but also knows when to take the backseat.â You explain, eyes wandering over Satoruâs stature. âI like them funny and kind.â
âSee? Iâm just what you need, princess. I can do all those things and so much more.â
âYeah? Youâre going to take the backseat sometimes?â You challenge with a knowing smile on your face. You already know what type of guy Satoru is based off of this sole interaction â plus all of the horror stories of how heâs a modern-day Casanova.
âPrincess, the only time youâll need me to take a backseat is when youâre riding that pretty pussy against my face.â His cerulean eyes gleam against the LEDs in the room. Heâs fully confident that will win you over.
Your face stays completely flat. You donât even crack a small pity smile for him. âOh sorry, was this meant to be the part where youâre funny?â
Satoru looks at you, and you see a small twitch in his eye. Heâs never had someone match his wit or his sass before. You were the perfect challenge for him â his perfect match up.
He tips his red solo cup up until his finishes the rest of his drink. Fuck sleeping with you. He wants to make you beg for him to fuck you while he just laughs in disinterest. Youâre his mission now.
âYouâre cute, princess.â He finally comments before getting comfortable in his chair again. âYou donât have to act like you donât want me. âs okay. No one here will blame you.â
Your arms cross over your chest, and your lips curl into a frown. As much as you want to pretend to be unbothered, your face can help but show the irritation you feel from him. Heâs unwavering, thinking that he will just argue and flirt his way to winning you over.
He needs to be humbled real quick, and youâve got nothing else better to do.
âOh really? Thank god. Iâve been dying to get on my knees and suck the most mediocre dick of my life.â
âYou have the wrong guy, sweetness. Iâm anything but mediocre.â He retorts without missing a beat.
By this time, most of everyone has stopped paying attention to you two â used to Satoruâs antics by now. This is just another Sunday night for him â chasing pussy as per usual.
âYeah? Any guy who constantly boasts about how good they are in bed usually isnât good at all.â You respond with a small eye roll.
Satoruâs strong arms cross over his chest. Heâs wearing a simple white shirt with some black pants. Itâs overwhelming plain, but it compliments him so well since his appearance is striking enough as it is. âI never boasted, princess. I simply stated that I wasnât mediocre.â
You let out a small scoff and shake your head. It was honestly arguing with a brick wall. âSemantics. Either way, I donât want to fuck you.â You dump your liquor out into a potted plant thatâs next to the couch.
Wondering why you even decided to come to this stupid party, you stand up, and Satoru follows suit. âHey now, darling. Come on. Donât leave now. The nightâs still young.â He tries to smooth things over as he takes puts his hands up in surrender. âI promise I wonât call out the obvious sexual tension between us for the rest of the night.â
âI have more sexual tension with your fake houseplant that I dumped my liquor into.â You deadpan, gathering your things as you decide that a cozy night in would be better than this mess.
Walking outside the house after everyone wishes you goodbye, you let out an audible sigh as you hear the door open and shut once more behind you. You spin on your heel to find Satoru jogging up behind you.
âDid I ruin your mood that much?â He asks with a small smile, shoving his hands into his pockets as he falls in step beside you.
âWell, following me home is certainly not giving you any bonus points.â You retort, tugging your jacket a little bit closer to your body. âBesides, thatâs not really my scene.â
Satoru glances over at you as the two of you walk. He finds himself hypnotized in the way your skin glows in the moonlight. He would be lying if he tried to convince himself that you werenât pretty because you are. Gorgeous â in fact.
âReally?â His voice is a shade softer now that he doesnât have everyoneâs eyes on him. âYou seemed like a natural in there.â
You shrug your shoulders, not offering up any more information about yourself to him. Heâs just another misguided frat boy with no intentions to change whoâs looking to hit.
Satoru hates silence almost as much as he hates not being the center of attention. He hates how youâre not giving in even the slightest for him
âWe should go out to dinner together sometime. I think youâd be surprised on how well I can fit in to any scene.â He offers, not quite giving up on hope just yet. Heâs determined to get you in his bed, genuinely deluding himself that it would be a favor to you and him.
âNo thanks.â Your voice is blunt as you step toward the entrance of a girlsâ dormitories. Satoruâs technically not allowed inside at this late of an hour, but heâd be amused to see who would try and stop him. His family is the top donor of the university. He practically owns this place.
He stands there baffled for a moment as you turn down his date invitation. Rejecting his sexual advances is one thing, but you wonât even give him the time of day.
âSo, when can I see you?â He asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips curled into a small pout.
âYouâll unfortunately probably see me in class.â You respond, letting the door close behind you and checking to make sure it locked. Breathing a sigh of relief, you trudge your way up the steps to finally get away from that leech of a man.
Satoru stays at the door for a moment, contemplating following you inside â not for any nefarious reason. He just truly believes that youâd like him if you gave him the time of day. One of his many charming qualities is that he can talk anyone into enjoying his presence.
He had already made up his mind. Youâre going to like him. Youâre going to sleep with him too and like it, and heâs definitely not going to catch feelings for you so he can make you feel as embarrassed as he did tonight.
Heâll just have to set his plan in motion during class.
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