#there are absolutely zero thoughts in my brain

[gothteddiesdotcom]

I think every time I see a “girls do x boys do y” post in 2024 I take 500 damage

[blorboresidue]

also re my previous labru shitpost I think it'd be really funny if kabru was like "well I need to know if I'm sexually compatible with him before I make a move" so he tries jerking off to a variety of monster-based scenarios and well. that's the story of how kabru conditions himself to be into furry porn. bonus points if he also accidentally works through some of his monster-related trauma in the process

[appalachianapologies]

[random drabble to get you through the day]

“I was able to hack her stuff pretty easily.”

“That didn’t take long.” 

Riley sends Mac a look. “I’m sorry, have we met? Riley Davis, hacker extraordinaire.”

Rolling his eyes, Mac replies, “You know what I mean. What’d you find?”

“The usual. For a double or triple or quadruple—or whatever type of agent she is—Nikki doesn’t encrypt her files as much as she should. I’ve already sent the juicy stuff to Patty.”

“Nice.” Giving a nod, Mac pulls a spare wheeled chair toward Riley’s desk and sits down. “What’re you doing now, then?”

“Oh, just having some fun.”

“Should I ask?”

“Probably not, but I’ll tell you anyway.”

With a poorly contained smile, Mac says, “Go for it.”

“After getting the goods out of her laptop, I hacked into her phone. Weakest wifi password in the history of ever, by the way.”

“Noted.”

“And she’s been listening to Spotify for the past three or so hours, so if I were to guess, she’s probably doing some other task while listening to music in the background.”

Mac gives another nod, still not exactly sure where this is going.

“So, like I said, I decided to have a little fun, and I wrote up some quick code this morning before you and Jack got here.”

“Code for what?”

“Basically,” Riley starts, “I made it so randomly in the middle of her songs, Spotify will pause itself.”

“Is that… it?”

“Yep.”

“Riley, what the fuck?”

Turning her head away from the monitor, she looks at Mac. “What, I can’t have some fun? When I wasn’t doing hacktivist stuff, this is basically all I’d do.”

A stuttered laugh escapes Mac before he can stop it. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of you.”

“She’s been dormant for a while,” Riley confirms, “but I think it’s time I bring that part of me back.”

[goat-boy-sounds]

one of these days I feel like I should watch an actually really scary horror movie like blair witch or skinamarink or that new maika monroe movie but idk.

[wasabikitcat]

Has anyone in this Olympics women's boxing argument ever stopped and thought about whether it would make any sense for women to be more susceptible to being injured in boxing than men? Like sure, it's a fairly common assumption that men are physically stronger than women, and therefore a man would have an advantage at boxing because he can punch harder... But how would that make you more resilient to being punched in the nose? Like I would think the assumed advantage would be that women can't hit as hard and therefore would require more effort to take someone down, but what everyone is arguing over is a woman having her nose broken from a punch to the face, when a man's nose would be just as broken from the same punch. Women don't have like, daintier and weaker facial bones or something. Being punched in the face "by a man" when you're a woman is literally no different than being punched in the face by the same person as a man. If we are to assume that men (note: the person being debated about here isn't a man or even a trans woman, she is cisgender, but I digress) are so Herculean that their punches are just too dangerous for women, then men's boxing should be banned outright because it's just too dangerous for men to be punching each other with that strength when a punch to the face is exactly the same for a man as it is to a woman.

[jaynovz]

According to my mood tracking app, the longest I have gone without writing since I started up again in Jan 2021 was ten days in a row, which was when I was in GA for xmas during the last two weeks of Dec 2021...

The overall effect on my mood when including the writing activity is pretty high, in a positive way, based on the data.

All of that to say that my current depressive slump as a result of facing the fact that I may have finally hit a hard wall of burn out, after two years of intense output?

...well, it makes sense lol.

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

can y’all imagine how fine kunikida would look in a turtleneck *passes out*

[kadoodles-on-ao3]

Sickness update: Still coughing, but it's (mostly) dry coughing now, and my headache is gone! But I'm not at 100% back-to-normal mental capacity yet either :(

Writing update: I've been hard at work on my angsty longfic! I was going to work on something lighter (especially with my cold) but all of a sudden more and more ideas to add to my AU kept popping in my head and I just had to jot them down.

Before long I was finally organizing my outline by putting all my previous bullet-point came-to-me-at-random-times-of-the-night-and-put-in-an-equally-random-order concepts into plot-chronological order as they should be, and making headings/sections for the major location changes to find stuff easier, and getting down how exactly series-and-collection-wise I want to go about categorizing the fic and its sequels, and finalizing their titles (which are all names of songs on The Glitch Mob's Drink the Sea album, give it a listen with good headphones if you haven't before, it's great background music!!) and oh yeah I needed to go over the h2hs again better open that doc, and I definitely need to have the game's script and cutscenes on hand for reference as needed (which was very frequently) and now baby I've got a stew going

I'm having so much fun writing characters I haven't gotten to write before, and (minor/vague Xenoblade spoilers) digging into the details of the lore about Face Mechon and expanding on my take of what was happening on the Mechonis before the party got there, and fitting lots of little puzzle pieces that the game gives you but doesn't directly tell you they belong together which is why I love it so much, and getting into such a nice flow state with it all and gjshfhskfh I love Xenoblade 1 so muchhhhhh!!!

So all that is to say I will hopefully be posting the prologue tomorrow or the day after! :) No promises as it's gotten much longer/more-detailed than I planned for (although I really should have expected that, it's always how it goes with me when I'm having fun writing I just can't stop haha) but it is most definitely on the way to being published soon!

[mxcrayon]

TW TW TW for several things, under cut and in tags

one time, and this is not a joke although i wish it was, a social worker BADGERED me over being suicidal. i.. was not suicidal, but my life sucked so bad that she REFUSED to believe that i wasn't, and after telling her multiple times she said "well why not? anyone in your shoes would be"

i do think therapy recommenders on here wildly irresponsibly downplay its potential risks lmao starting obviously w/ the threat of psych and criminal institutionalisation which is structurally inherent to the patient-physician relationship but also the maybe more mundane risk of simply receiving treatment that is bad for you and counterproductive. i do not know where the idea came from that therapy is 'at worst useless'. at worst it fucks you up majorstyle

[the-travelling-witch]

holly how are you doing today/tonight?

[written-and-readen]

The Odds Are Slim But Never Zero

Dan Heng, Luka, Blade x fem!reader (separate)

Part 2 (Jing Yuan, Sunday, Gallagher), Part 3 (Moze, Phainon, Sampo)

Summary: Someone walks in on you two

Warnings: nsfw (18+), established relationship, penetrative sex (Dan Heng, Blade), fingering (Luka), getting caught

Dan Heng

Dan Heng is usually a soft spoken person, keeping to himself in the Express’ archives. So how come his pace is so relentless that your breath is stolen every time he bottoms out?

Who can blame him though? The walls of your pussy grip him viciously and your legs are wrapped around his waist, only pulling him further in. He’s completely lost in you right now. The only thing that would make this better is getting to see the expression you make once he pushes you over the edge, eyes going slightly hazy and mouth falling open.

And the only thing that could completely ruin this moment is March slamming open the door to the archives. The moment she registers you both naked (and probably the fact Dan Heng is balls deep in you), she closes the door just as fast as she arrived before either of you can think of yelling at her.

Mood shattered, you sit up to come face to face with your now beet red boyfriend. Your hands reach up to hold his face, thumbs running across his flushed cheeks.

"We're locking the door next time," he sighs.

Luka

The minute Luka got out of the ring and into the back room of the fight club, he was on you. It was such an easy match that he had lots of energy left over. Once he saw your pretty face, he knew exactly how to spend it.

With your back pressed against the wall, he's sucking marks into your neck as both hands grope your ass. You can feel him smile whenever a whine of his name leaves your mouth, your fingers threading deeper into his hair.

Through your heated haze, you feel his left hand slip down your pants and past your panties. After rubbing a few circles on your clit that have your legs nearly buckling if it weren’t for his metal arm wrapped around your middle, two fingers push into your pussy.

“Luka-” you brokenly moan as his fingers curl against your walls.

“You doing okay?” His pace slows for a moment when your head falls against his shoulder.

“Mmhmm, keep going please.” Your wish is his command as he adds a third finger to the two pleasuring you. Your brain feels like mush at this point, but it’s abruptly cleared by a loud slam.

“Luka!” Seele barges through the door. It’s clear she was going to say more until she sees Luka hastily remove himself from your pants. A faint red rises to her face before she leaves, grumbling a “never mind” as she quickly closes the door again.

There’s a beat of silence where you’re both still breathing heavily from your previous activity. Despite the awkwardness now hanging in the air, Luka speaks up.

“So, did you want to continue?” He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. A laugh leaves you at his efforts to pick up where you left off. You lean over to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Let’s head back to my place first.”

Blade

You haven’t been able to form a coherent thought for a while. Blade just keeps driving his cock into your pussy, fast and deep. The mara must be acting up today.

Your fingers grip the long strands of his hair as you hear him occasionally grunt into your ear. Few words are spoken between you. It’s one of those times where you just let him use you, find what solace he can in the warmth of your body sucking him in.

“B-Blade, I’m close…” You warn him. The only thing you receive in response is a particularly sharp thrust into your sweet spot.

All of a sudden, the door to Blade’s room opens to reveal Kafka. Her eyes take in Blade absolutely ruining you, but she remains standing in the doorway. An embarrassed flush rises to your cheeks at having Kafka’s gaze on you. It’s only increased by Blade’s audacity to not slow down at all.

“What do you want?” He glances none too happily at Kafka.

“Silver Wolf asked me to go get her some snacks. Do you want anything while I’m out?”

“No.” He turns his attention back to you. You’re biting your lip, believing that any whines you let out would only exponentiate your shame, but you’re fighting a losing battle, especially when Blade reaches down to thumb at your clit. A long moan escapes you once he pushes you over the edge, continuing to fuck you through your high.

“Okay, let me know if you need anything.” You hear Kafka’s voice and the door faintly close before all your senses are consumed by Blade.

You feel his calloused hand holding your waist down as his cock still moves in and out of you. You smell the sweat from both of you as you breathe heavily. His fingers swipe up some of the cum that leaks out of your folds, bringing them up to your mouth for you to eagerly taste. His red eyes are intently trained on you as you swirl your tongue around his fingers. When his voice reaches your ears, a shiver runs down your spine.

“You can give me another one, right?”

[straylightdream]

APT. 847b

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: yoon jeonghan x camgirl! reader

Having sex with your roommate normally complicates things. What happens when being with Jeonghan just makes sense?

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: roommates to lovers, friends with benefits??, soulmate au?? non idol au

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: camgirl reader, camboy jeonghan, lots of emotions, they’re both very down bad for each other and don’t realize it. Smut warning below the cut.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.5k

an: this story switches between jeonghan and the readers pov. It will be label by his name and her, when the pov is switching. This is a part of my little universe of loosely connected SVT stories called all for you. Thank you @whimsical-whatever for helping me figure out this story.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: multiple sex scenes, camgirl reader, camboy jeonghan, soft dom/switch jeonghan, voyerism, masturbation, mutal masturbation, oral (male rec), sex toys, dirty talk, nipple play, squirting, unprotected sex, cream-pie, breeding kink, cum play, sex tapes, cam boy jeonghan??, lots of emotions, tipsy sex (they’re both fully consenting), filming sexual slut shaming (not by any of the boys. The mc refers to herself as one). names: hers (baby, good girl, angel), his (baby, hannie)

-JEONGHAN-

Jeonghan was tired of being one of the few single people in his friend group. He had zero desire to try online dating like a few friends and all his friends that were girls were already dating one of the other guys in his friend group. He thought maybe if he had a girlfriend or someone for companionship he wouldn’t feel like something is missing in his life.

-

Looking at his computer at the kitchen table his brain was hurting looking at all his banking info. It was coming up on that time if the month when rent was due. Since Jihoon moved out to move in with his girlfriend, Jeonghan and his other roommate Kitten decided to just split the amount of the whole apartment instead of finding another roommate. This was working out but now it’s been six months and Jeonghan is tired of spending so much on rent.

Kitten walked in the door with groceries in hand. She instantly noticed how stressed Jeonghan looked.

“What’s up?” She asked as she set some groceries on the table.

“I think we need to get a roommate. I can’t keep paying this much for rent.”

“Okay that works for me. I just request we maybe find a girl roommate. Also we should probably tell her right away about my job.” Jeonghan assumed Kitten would want a girl roommate. With her being a cam girl he knew having a random man she didn’t know living with them could make things weird. “Wait. Would it be weird if I asked one of my friends I met through Cherry moved in?”

“Is she a camgirl?” Honestly Jeonghan didn’t care what Kitten did for a living. He also didn’t care if another girl who did the same job moved in.

“Yeah she is.”

“That’s fine with me.”

-HER-

Your last roommate you had started making you uncomfortable after finding out about your job. You were in desperate need of a new place to live.

One day when you were out to lunch with Cherry she mentioned having friends that were looking for a roommate. She mentioned one of them being Kitten, a fellow camgirl. You knew right then that would be a good place to live.

You’ve been living with Jeonghan and Kitten for four months now. You and Kitten were already friends and your first reaction when you met Jeonghan was that he's absolutely beautiful.

You learned very quickly they’re both amazing roommates. Jeonghan keeps the apartment very tidy and Kitten loves cooking for you guys. Kitten’s boyfriend Joshua is often at the apartment. He’s best friends with Jeonghan so he’ll even come over just to hang out with him even if Kitten is busy.

You work at a tech company as a software programmer during the day and at night you stream to make extra money. Work has been absolutely shitty recently and this week all your deadlines have been driving you insane. After getting yelled at by your boss you can’t wait to get home. The moment you walk through the door you instantly notice how quiet the apartment is. Opening your phone you see a text sent to your roommate group chat.

5:32pm

From Kitten <3: I’m not coming home tonight. I’m staying at Shau’s place. I made pasta for lunch and I made you each a container. They’re in the fridge for you.

From Jeonghan: thank you. I’m heading home soon. I carpooled with Hao to work.

From you: if anyone needs me I’m getting wine drunk. I had a shitty day at work.

5:37pm

From Jeonghan: don’t get wasted before I get there. I’ll get wine drunk with you.

Walking into the apartment Jeonghan finds you sitting on the couch in your pajamas with a large glass of wine in your hands. You’re dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt.

Jeonghan sits his work bag down by the door and slips off his shoes.

“That’s a lot of wine,” he says walking closer to you.

“I had a shitty day,” you raise your glass at him.

“Let me get out of this work clothes.” He heads off to his room and comes back in a pair of sweats and baggy shirt.

He heads off to the kitchen and comes back with a wine glass for himself. He pours himself a big glass of red wine and sits down next to you.

“Am I crazy if I quit my tech job?” This week feels like it’s been absolutely eating you alive trying to maintain your nine to five job. You take another big drink of wine.

“Not necessarily. I don’t know how inappropriate this is to ask but do you make enough on your lives to afford to get by?” You know Jeonghan is one of the few people you can have that conversation with. He knows all about how being a full time camgirl works because of Kitten.

“Honestly I make enough to live comfortably. In all reality if I quit my tech job I could probably focus more on streaming and making my subscribers only page make even more money.” You’ve been thinking about this for a while, you've just never mentioned it to anyone.

“You’re pretty miserable at your tech job aren’t you?” He’s seen you so stressed out you started crying last week. Jeonghan is very aware of how much you hate your job.

“I fucking hate it,” you sigh.

“If you think you make enough steaming, I say do it. If you have a rough month with money. I can help you figure out rent.” Jeonghan has been so nice to you since the moment you met him. You can’t believe he’s willing to help you with money if things get tough.

“I’m gonna tell them Monday I’m quitting,” you can’t help but smile.

“I think you’re going to be so much happier.”

Taking a big sip of wine you instantly feel relieved. You can’t wait to no longer work a nine to five job.

“Did you already heat up Kitten’s food she made for us?”

“No.”

Reaching over his pats your thigh, and lets out a soft laugh. “Maybe we should eat something before we drink our weight in red wine.”

Getting up he goes into the kitchen and starts warming up the food your roommate left. Sitting at the kitchen table you pour yourself another large glass of wine. He places the food on the table in front of you. Before sitting down across from you.

The food is absolutely delicious. Just like it always is when Kitten makes anything.

“Did you wanna watch something in the living room together?” He asked picking up your empty bowl.

“Sure.”

Sitting back down on the couch you take another big drink of wine before sitting your glass down on the coffee table. Jeonghan turns on a drama he’s been watching before he gets comfortable next to you on the couch. It’s not uncommon for you to practically cuddle leaning against each other on the couch.

His arm is over your shoulder as you lean against him. The whole time his show is playing you aren’t really paying attention. Even the red wine can’t seem to stop your over thinking about work. Without even thinking you pick the little lent pieces that are on the thigh if Jeonghan’s sweats. He doesn’t say anything but you feel his thigh flex under your touch.

He takes a deep breath. Glancing up you see he’s no longer watching the tv, he’s eyes are trained on you.

“Sorry,” you pulled your hand away feeling instantly embarrassed.

He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at you blinking. The air feels heavy. Without even thinking you go back to playing with the fabric of his sweats. Your hand travels towards the inside of his thighs almost testing the waters. The sound of him swallowing loudly tells you you’re playing a dangerous game.

“Do you want me to stop?” You whisper not even sure if your voice is fully audible. Maybe it’s the red wine in your veins making you bold enough to make a move on your roommate.

“No,” he voice is clear as day.

Your hand slides up his thigh. The growing bulge in his sweatpants is a clear indicator that he’s enjoying this. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes.”

Slowly your hand slides up his thigh. Stopping just at his bulge. Your eyes stay locked on his as you cup his bulge. He’s a little bigger than average size by the feel of it. A low moan passes his lips as you feel him up.

Your eyes stayed locked on him as you groped him. He’s so hard in your hand and straining against his sweatpants.

“Hannie,” you whisper.

“Yes?”

“Are you sober?” You want to make sure he’s fully aware of what is happening.

“I was barely tipsy. Are you sober?” He looks so gentle suddenly.

“I’m just tad tipsy.” You don’t stop touching him as you speak. “But I want this.” You have thought about touching him for weeks.

“Can I please kiss you?”

“Please.”

Without another word he removes your hand from him and pulls your pilant body on to his lap. His straining erection is pressed up against your clothed core. Resting his hand on your cheek he drags his thumb across your bottom lip. Rolling your hips against his for some friction, a soft moan passes your lips.

The first time your lips touch in a tipsy state it feels sobering. The feeling of Jeonghan’s soft lips against yours gives you butterflies. He’s holding your face in his hands slowly he pulls away and smiles at you.

“I have wanted to kiss you for a while.” His voice is low. There’s no words you can think say. Crashing your lips into his once again for a heated kiss.

“I wondered what it was like to kiss you.” His hands grip your hips and guide your body against his. After your shitty day at work you didn’t think it would end with you dry humping your roommate while you make out.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he groans as his lips start kissing your jaw.

Rolling your hips against his erection you can feel your panties starting to stick to your wet core. “Hannie, can you fuck me?” You moan.

Pulling away from you, he rolls his head back moaning. “I want to so badly.”

Crawling off his lap you quickly remove your sleep shorts and your wet panties. His eyes stay locked on your pussy. It is clearly wet with need. You hope he doesn’t mind that you aren’t shaved bare. Since you started streaming you realized you didn’t need to wax all the time. Men tended to like you like that. He swallows watching you for a moment before he takes this as his cue to remove his sweats and boxers.

The sight of his cock is absolutely mouth watering. His cock is just as pretty as you thought it would be. It’s a little bigger than the average man. It’s a pretty blush color, and curves up towards him. The base of him has a well kept patch of pubes with a little happy trail.

Crawling onto his lap you nestle his length between your folds.

“Can I take this off?” He messes with the hem of your baggy shirt.

“Yes,” you sigh.

He pulls off your shirts and marvels at the fact you aren’t wearing a bra. “Can you take yours off?” Silently he follows your request.

You’re both completely naked sitting on your living room coach. Rolling your hips, his cock slides through your folds. Everytime his mushroom tip brushes your clit you can’t help but gasp.

“Should I get a condom?” He moans taking your breast in his hand. His hands knead your flesh.

“I’m clean and have an iud.”

“Where did you want me to finish?” He plays with your nipples, tweaking them between two fingers.

“Wherever you want. I would prefer you fill me up.”

“Are you asking me to come inside you?” He looks completely caught off guard by your request.

“Please,” you practically beg.

“Okay baby.”

Your lips move together as you slowly sink down on his length. Your fingers tangle in his blonde hair holding him close. Lifting your hips you keep a slow pace. Each time you roll your hips forward you clit brushes against his pubic bone earning a moan.

Your nose brushes his as your lips are so close to touching. The only sounds in the room are the soft moans, and pants. His lips connect to your neck leaving open mouth kisses.

The way his cock is curved his brushing against the spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

“You feel so good,” he moans. “You’re so tight.”

As you move your body up and down his length you can’t really think straight. You're lost in a lust filled haze. It feels like he was made for you. His cock hits the perfect spot inside of you.

The coil in your stomach tightens more and more with each thrust. His hands grip your sides helping you move. Suddenly the coil snaps and a white hot wave washes over you.

Moaning his name like a prayer. He starts lifting his hips helping you ride out your orgasm.

-JEONGHAN-

“Can I cum inside you?” He begs. He’s desperate and sounds like he’s on the verge of falling apart.

“Please fill me up.”

His hands grip your hips as he chases his release. Your walls contract around him as another orgasm follows, milking his cock. Thick white ropes fill you to the brim. He doesn’t think he’s ever come this much in his life. Looking into your eyes for a moment he feels like this was supposed to happen. He doesn’t know how he ever was to survive not touching you.

-HER-

You stop moving, leaning against him. Your face rest in the crook of his neck. You press open mouth wet kisses to the delicate skin on his neck.

“That was unexpected.” Gently he rubs your back.

“That was amazing.” You murmured against his skin.

“I need to clean you up and make sure my cum doesn’t get on the couch. Kitten might kill us if we stained this couch.”

Standing up your legs feel like jello. Looking down between your legs you watch as Jeonghan cum starts trickling down your thigh. Without even thinking his grabs his shirt and gently wipes away his release. Grabbing your hand he takes you to the bathroom where he sits you on the counter and wipes way any cum that is leaking out.

Standing between you legs his hand rest on your cheek. “You’re so pretty.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel good.”

“The only girl I have ever wanted to make feel good is you.” Leaning forward he presses his lips to yours for a gentle kiss.

Everything feels like it makes sense right now. There isn’t any awkward tension or any feelings of regret. He helps you off the counter and without even asking takes you to his room. He pulls you close to his body and presses another kiss to your forehead.

- JEONGHAN-

“Can I ask you something that might be a little too intrusive?”

You’re naked in his bed you aren’t sure what he could possibly be worried about asking you. “Go for it?”

“What kind of stuff do you film?”

“You’ve never looked up my account?” You’ve mentioned your username before. You just kinda assumed he would investigate. Some of your other friends have. Hell even your last roommate did.

“Never. I’ve never looked up Kitten or Cherry either. It just felt like an invasion of privacy. Also I don’t think it’s really fair to Shau or Jun if I looked up their partners.”

“Do you think any of the boys have looked me up?” Jeonghan's whole friend group basically knows about your job. You found out when Cherry started seeing Jun she slowly let the friend group know and Kitten’s secret had slowly gotten out as well as she felt more comfortable letting close friends know.

“No none of them have. They all just see it as a normal job.”

“I film a lot of solo stuff with toys. I back in the day used to film with this guy I was casually seeing but he never fucked me on camera. I just used to film giving him head. Things with us ended when he got a serious girlfriend.”

“Would you ever film with someone again?” He can’t lie, he's curious. He is one of the only people Jun has told about filming with girlfriend. He knows Jun films with Cherry all the time but makes sure his face is never seen.

“I wouldn’t be against it. It has to be the right person. I need to make sure I trust them.”

He looks up at the ceiling. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly so interested in the possibility of filming with you. He’s never had a desire to preform sexual acts in camera. But there is something about you that he’s interested in doing it with you.

“Would you trust me?”

Knitting your brows together you stare at him for a long moment. “I do trust you.” Lacing his fingers with yours he squeezes your hand gently. “Did you want to film with me?”

“I’m quite interested.”

“Have you talked to Jun?”

“Yeah he told me about his anonymous filming he does. It piqued my interest, but I don’t want you to think I slept with you because of that.” He’s suddenly worried you’re going to think he’s a creep.

“Last time I checked I started this when I was messing with your sweatpants,” you let out a little laugh. “If you were interested in filming with me. We could try whatever you’re comfortable doing.”

“I think I want to try at least once.”

-HER-

When morning comes you're reminded you’re in Jeonghan bed when you feel his morning wood poking your butt. His arm tights around your waist letting you know he’s awake.

“Hannie.”

“Baby,” he groans, pushing his dick further against your butt. His hand moved down your stomach. His hand cups your pussy. His finger dips between your folds earning a moan. “I want you again,” he groans.

“You can have me,” you moan.

“Are you going to put it in?”

“Do you want me to fuck you again?”

“Please, Hannie.”

He pushes your leg forward to give himself better access to your core. “Do I need to get a condom?”

“No want you raw,” you moan. He’s grinding against your core, making you feel like you’re going insane.

Slowly he pushes into you. He’s hitting a different angle than last night. “This might be the best way to wake up,” he groans. “You feel even tighter from this angle.”

It doesn’t take long before you fall apart moaning his name. The feeling of him finishing inside you is intoxicating. You understand why people have creampie kink. You’ve never fucked anyone on camera before, but now you can’t get the thought of Jeonghan fucking you on camera out of your mind.

Walking out of Jeonghan room dressed in a pair of his sweats and baggy shirt. He takes your hand in his before pressing his lips to your cheek.

“Hannie?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe we don’t tell Kitten right away. Especially if we’re gonna film together.”

“Okay that works for me.”

-

You have officially quit your job and have decided to fully focus on being a camgirl.

After that night you and Jeonghan first slept together things between you have definitely changed. It feels like you’re definitely together but you’re sneaking around. Neither of you are ready for Kitten to know or any of your friends. You haven’t had a chance to film together yet, but Jeonghan sat in your room last night while you were filming. He sat on the other side of the camera. His hand stroking his length mimicking the speed you’re thrusting your sparkly blue dildo into yourself.

Him being in the room while you’re filming is absolutely thrilling. It’s intoxicating knowing that no one knows what’s happening other than the two of you.

After filming you always take a nice hot shower and the addition of Jeonghan joining you is welcomed. He massages mango scented shampoo into your hair.

“I like watching you film,” he says, breaking the comfortable silence that has formed between you.

“I liked you watching.”

“Did you still wanna go out to the bar with Seungcheol, Darling, Honey, Wonwoo, Chan and Minghao?”

“Oh yeah I’ll go. I think Shau is coming over here. Kitten mentioned wanting to film. We could give them some privacy.” He taps your butt signaling for you to turn around to rinse your hair.

You spend the rest of the shower not doing anything sexual. Jeonghan finishes washing your hair, and you help wash his hair before getting out. Each of you go to your seperate room to get dressed and get ready to go out.

Walking out into the living room you find Joshua sitting on the couch talking to Jeonghan. Kitten pops out of the kitchen holding a bottle of water.

“Are you guys meeting Cheol at the bar?” Joshua asked.

“Yeah Cheol was saying it’s been too long since we all met up for beers.”

“(Y/N) are you going?” Kitten asked.

“Yeah Jeonghan said we can use this to celebrate me being free from my job.”

“That means you should get wasted. Hannie can take care of you,” Joshua says, patting your roommate on the shoulder.

“Hannie take care of our girl,” Kitten says as she walks over and holds her hand out signaling her boyfriend to stand up.

“I always take care of her,” Jeonghan’s words have a double meaning that neither of them catch.

Jeonghan drives you to the bar telling you that he would be designated driver that you could let loose and have fun.

As soon as you arrive Darling and Honey pull you away saying they want to do shots to celebrate you quitting.

-JEONGHAN-

Standing at the bar Jeonghan is ordering himself a beer, and you a drink. Seungcheol walks up patting him on the back.

“I’m glad you brought (Y/N) with you. Darling and Honey seem to love her.” Seungcheol says before taking a sip of his beer.

“She’s great. She just quit her tech job so I told her this would be a good way to celebrate.” The bartender puts two drinks down in front of him, and Jeonghan hands him his card to pay.

“I take it that means she’s going to work full time doing the same thing as Kitten and Cherry?” It’s funny all the boys know now that Kitten and Cherry are camgirl but they’re all really respectful about it and never directly say what their jobs is.

“Yeah she makes good money doing it. She was absolutely miserable at her tech job. I can’t count the number of times she came home crying from work.” Jeonghan hated seeing you upset.

“You know I think she’s a good fit for the group. She gets along with all boys and the girls adore her. It’s a bonus that she understands and relates to Kitten and Cherry.” Seungcheol says.

“I think with Jun seeing Cherry and her being open about her job made Kitten feel more comfortable letting everyone know.” Jeonghan remembers when Kitten awkwardly told him about her job. She seemed so worried that Jeonghan would be upset or judge her, but he honestly didn’t care. He’s always been a very sex positive person, and if his roommate could make a living being a cam girl he would never judge her. He wouldn’t ever judge you either. Your job didn’t define you. He was quite interested in your job though, and wanted to explore aspects of it with you.

Seungcheol clears his throat, catching his attention. “You zoned out on me.”

“Sorry I was just thinking.” He stares at his drink before taking a sip.

“Why don’t you go take (Y/N) her drink?”

Walking over he interrupts your conversation with the girls to hand your drink. He wants to give you time to catch up with the girls. Walking over he joins Wonwoo and Minghao at the pool table.

The moment Chan joins the boys at the pool table he’s already in full gear complaining about his coworker. Jeonghan gets an earful about the new girl that is making Chan’s life, as he says “a living hell.” That’s probably because they’re competing for the same promotion.

Minghao just shakes his head before taking a drink of his beer. Seungcheol soon joins the rest of the boys after bugging his girlfriend who seems more interested in catching up with the girls.

The whole time boys are playing pool he can’t seem to fully focus on the game. He keeps glancing over at you.

“You’re not nearly as competitive tonight as you normally are,” Wonwoo bumps him. Jeonghan glances up at his friend. He’s trying to be subtle about the fact he can only focus on you.

“I got a lot on my mind.”

“Maybe, your roommate can help with that.”

“Wonwoo-“

“I’m just messing with you. I know you’ve had a crush for a while.”

“Let’s not talk about this,” Jeonghan doesn’t need any of the boys in his business. Especially since he hasn’t properly talked about what is going on between you.

The girls rush over with a tray of shots. Jeonghan passes on taking one knowing he needs to drive you home. He watches as everyone toast to you quitting your job.

As the night goes on Jeonghan watches as you, Chan, and Darling get absolutely wasted. Honey is quite drunk but nowhere on the level of the others. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you this drunk. There is something so cute about how fluster you get in this drunken state.

Seungcheol is taking care of his girlfriend who is even more clingy than normal.

Chan is fighting with Wonwoo about not wanting to go home.

“I need to take Chan home,” Wonwoo says, holding the wrist of his very drunk friend.

“I’ll ride with you guys to help,” Minghao chimes in.

“Wonwoo, can you hold my hand?” Honey asked, walking up to her boyfriend.

“I need to get my own drunk one back to my place,” Seungcheol says, holding his girlfriend’s hand.

Leaning into Jeonghan you wrap your arms around his waist holding him. “Hannie, are you going to take me home?”

He leans down pressing his lips to the top of your head, “yes, angel.”

Taking your hand he leads out of the bar and helps you into his car. After buckling you in he starts heading home. Leaning your head against the cool glass window. Reaching over he rests his hand on your thigh.

“Hannie?”

“Yes angel?”

“Thank you,” you murmur, sounding like you’re trying not to fall asleep.

“For what?” He glances over at you trying to focus on the road.

“For being my person.”

“You’re my person too,” he gently squeezes your thigh.

Arriving home he helps you into the elevator. He notices the apartment is quite quiet but he can hear the sound of music lightly playing in Kitten’s room.

“Your bed or mine?” He asked.

“Mine but will you sleep with me? I wanna cuddle.” He had zero intention of letting you sleep alone. In your drunken state he wanted to make sure you were safe.

“Of course.”

He leads you off to the bathroom where he sits you on the toilet and uses one of your makeup wipes and helps you clean your face. Once in your room he helps you strip down to just your underwear. He even helps you remove your bra you were complaining about. He hands you a baggy shirt he knows you love to sleep in. He doesn’t bother going to his room to get his pajama pants. He strips down to his boxers and joins you under the covers.

Curling up on your side he can tell you’re barely awake. He turns off the light on the nightstand on his side of the bed. He curls up behind you spooning you. This is quite possibly his favorite way to fall asleep. He is never more comfortable than when he is holding you.

“Night Hannie,” you whisper.

“Goodnight baby.”

He doesn’t fall asleep as quickly as you. He can’t seem to shut off his mind. He doesn’t understand how one person can make him feel so many emotions like you do.

When sleep finally finds him, he only dreams of you.

-HER-

It’s been two months since the first time you slept together, the first of many times. Since then Jeonghan has brought up filming with you a few times. Recently he’s been enjoying being in the room masturbating with you off screen.

Today is the day he finally asked if he could officially go on your stream with you.

“Maybe pull your hair back so it looks short and wear a face mask in case any of you face shows.” You think it’s best if he stays anonymous as possible. Especially if it ends up being a one time thing.

“Okay.” He works on pulling his hair back.

“If you don’t want to do this I fully understand,” you want to give him an opportunity to back out.

“I want to do this.”

“How do you want to do this?” You need to know what his boundaries are. You’re willing to do anything he feels comfortable doing. You know with Junhui and Cherry he stays fully dressed and plays with her on camera. She’s mentioned they filmed a full sex tape before but she decided against posting it. You aren’t sure if you would ever feel comfortable posting one of those, but if you trust anyone enough to film a full sex tape it would be Jeonghan.

“Maybe the first time you give me head and I’ll finger you.” He seems a little nervous and you don’t blame him. Your first time you went live you were nervous too.

“I’m going to suggest you talk dirty to me while I give you head. People eat that up.”

Jeonghan sits on the bed and you make sure the camera isn’t showing his face. You adjust the camera so no matter where he sits it should only show him from the neck down.

You start your stream and sit on the bed next to him. You’re dressed in a see through lavender bra and crotchless panties.

You greet your audience and tell them you have a mystery friend helping you. All the comments are instantly excited that you have brought someone to film with you. Some of the requests people are leaving are asking him to do wild things to you.

Leaning over you whisper in his ear, “act like it’s just us two.”

He nods silently. Standing up he removes his underwear and sits on the chair angled in front of the camera. The angle makes it where you only see the bottom of his jaw that is covered by a mask. Slowly he strokes his length as you crawl towards him.

“Such a pretty cock,” you say as you sit on your knees in front of him. The sight of him naked on the chair in front of you is mouth watering.

Putting his hand under your chin he tilts your head up. “Are you going to be a good girl for me and suck it?”

“I want you to fuck my mouth.” He groans at your dirty words. You never talk like this to him when you’re fooling around.

Sticking your tongue out you stare at him through your lashes. Tapping his dick against your tongue. You smile as he pulls away. Neither of you are normally like this in bed together and this kind of feels like you’re role playing. This whole scenario is exciting.

“Open,” he commands.

Placing the tip of his dick in your mouth you instantly start sucking him. His dark eyes stay locked on you as you focus on taking him further in your mouth. One hand rests on his thigh steadying yourself while the other pumps his neglected shaft. Your focus is on his sensitive tip right now.

Hollowing your cheeks you take him all the way in. Thank god you don’t really have a gag reflex as he brushes the back of your throat. Looking up at him with watery eyes you wish you could see his whole face. His hands brush your hair away from your face. Making a makeshift ponytail with his hand.

“Such a good girl,” he moans.

He is not even touching you and he’s making you wet. You don’t think you’ve ever cum fully untouched, but today might be the day.

Popping off him you smile up at him taking this moment to properly breathe again. Taking his length in both hands you pump him and focus on his tip again. Tilting his head back he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Taking him back into your mouth you take him until your nose brushes against his will trimmed patch of pubic hair. His stomach muscles tense as he’s on the brink of falling apart.

Pulling off him you look at him and say, “are you going to come in my mouth?”

“That depends, are you going to be a good girl and swallow?”

“Anything for you.”

Hollowing your cheeks you take him fully again. His fingers tangled in your hair helping guide you up and down his length. Your eyes are a watery mess as he keeps brushing the back of your throat. The echoing moan of the word “baby”’ takes over your senses as he feels your mouth with his milky release.

You keep sucking until he’s finished and clearly spent. Pulling off of him he rests his hand on your cheek. His thumb brushes your bottom lip wiping away some of his cum.

Opening your mouth you show him cum. You’ve never been a fan of swallowing, but you would do it everyday with him.

“Good girl,” he whispers. Closing your mouth you swallow everything he gave you.

“Can I play with your favorite vibrator?” He asked standing up. Walking off camera he grabs some tissues cleaning himself up.

“Please.”

“Lay on your bed and spread your legs wide for all the nice people to see.”

Crawling on the bed he sits on his knees next to you. Making sure your wet pussy is on full display for everyone watching. He’s attempting to make sure the only part of him that shows is his jaw that is covered by a mask.

Holding the vibrator to your already sensitive clit he starts by pumping one finger. Giving you a chance to adjust before he adds a second. He hooks his long fingers brushing your g spot over. Your body feels tense as the coil in your stomach tightens. At the rate he’s going you're going to fall apart the quickest you ever have.

“Is baby close to cumming?” He says staring into your lust filled eyes. You aren’t sure you can form proper words, you just nod your head.

“Can you take another finger?”

“Yes.”

He stretches you open more, adding another finger. He clicks up the speed of the vibrator practically making you scream.

Your orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks and for the first time ever fluid rushes out of you. Coating Jeonghan’s arm in your release. Your body feels weightless as you lay there trying to breathe.

Looking at Jeonghan you see his arm glistening. You’ve never squirted before and you weren’t even sure you could. Your cheeks instantly flush, feeling quite embarrassed.

“Such a good girl,” he pulls away from your core. He clicked off the vibrator tossing it on your bed.

“That’s all folks,” he walks over and ends your livestream.

Laying there you close your eyes staring up at the ceiling. Slowly sitting up you watch as he removes his face mask and pulls on his boxers before dashing out of your room. He comes back holding a washcloth.

“Baby spread your legs for me. I need to clean you up.”

The warm water cloth against your sensitive core is nice. “I’ve never squirted before.”

“Oh,” he instantly sports a cocky smile.

“I’m gonna need to clean my sheets.” You can’t even think about getting out of bed yet. Your body feels like jello.

“How about you take a shower and I’ll strip your bed and toss your bedding in the washer.”

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Suddenly things feel very deeper between you and you honestly just want him to hold you.

He helps you stand up. He leans down and presses his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. “Of course you can stay in my bed.”

“What if Kitten sees us?” You ask the question that has been on your mind since this all started.

“We don’t have to hide anything. If she sees us I’m okay with that.”

Slowly you sit up and stare at him for a moment. You don’t think you can really keep your feelings out of whatever is happening between you. “Jeonghan, I like you a lot.”

“I like you a lot too. I actually more than like you.” His words instantly give you butterflies. “Go take a shower and we’ll talk more after. Come to my room after.”

Standing under the warm water you can’t seem to shut off your brain. Things suddenly feel so different, but that’s not a bad thing.

-JEONGHAN-

Three little words have been floating around in his head for a while now. He tries to stop thinking about it as he throws your bedding into the washer. When heads to his room he goes through his drawers finding something for you to sleep in. All he can do is picture your face as you lay on your bed completely blissed out.

The bedroom door opens and you walk in with a towel wrapped around you. “Is Kitten with Joshua?”

“Yeah they’re actually at her parents house for dinner.” He forgot to mention that earlier. “I picked out something for you to sleep in.”

“You don’t want to sleep naked?” You give him a smile.

“I mean we can if you want. I was thinking we could get cozy, and talk about some things.”

You take the clothes from him and get dressed, not bothering to get underwear. You’re wearing some of his sleep shorts, and a baggy shirt.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed Jeonghan stands in front of you for a moment before he leans forward and presses his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. “You know for the longest time you seem to be the only thing I can think about?” His heart swells instantly when he sees you smile at his words.

“Is that a good or a bad thing?”

“It’s very good. You make me so incredibly happy.” He smiles.

“Jeonghan, you make me happy.”

Sitting down on the bed next to you. Taking your hand in his he squeezes it three times. “Hannie-“

“Yes Angel?”

“You truly are my person. I like you so much.” You suddenly feel like crying. They aren’t sad tears. They’re anything but. “You're the first person I’ve ever been that doesn’t make me feel like I’m some slut for my job.”

“Don’t ever call yourself that.” He chimes in.

“I don’t think I am one. I just need you to know. You make me feel so normal.”

The smile on his face is heartwarming. “You know I watched Shau and Kitten figure out their shit. They went from friends to being head over heels for each other. I even watched Wonwoo fall for Honey. And I even saw the other boys find their girlfriends. I was always so jealous wishing that I would know what it’s like to find companionship like theirs and to fall hopelessly in love.” He pauses, reaching up and resting his hand on your cheek. “And then I met you. Everything suddenly felt like it clicked when you moved in. The moment we met I had a feeling I was going to love you.”

Tears start sliding down your cheek. “Yoon Jeonghan, is this your way of telling me you love me?”

“Absolutely,” his thumb brushes the tears staining your cheek.

“I remember when Kitten introduced us. I thought you were so beautiful and I knew I was royalty fucked.” A soft laugh passes your lips. “I love you too, by the way.”

“I should properly say, I love you.” He leans over and presses his lips to your for a soft kiss.

“Does this mean we’re officially a couple?” You think that it’s time you put a label on this.

“Angel have been my girlfriend since we fucked on the couch.” He laughs.

“Since the first night we hooked up?”

“Yes. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since.”

“So you’re my boyfriend?”

“Yes, and you’re my girlfriend.”

Holding your face in both hands he leans in pressing his lips to yours for a heated kiss. Your lips move together as if you need each other to breathe. Pulling away he rested his forehead against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Since the beginning things between you have always made sense. You aren’t shocked that you fell in love with your roommate. It almost seems inevitable.

That night when you finally lose your clothes Jeonghan has you on your stomach with a pillow under your hips. Slowly he rolls his hips into you. He hits a spot deep inside. His thrusts are a little lazier than normal but you feel so incredibly close to him. His lips are over your bare shoulders. Between kisses you hear him whisper, “I love you.”

Both your highs reach you at the same time. Falling apart you moan his name. His thrust grows a little sloppy until he slows down.

He sits back on his knees and watches as his cum slowly starts to drip out of you. His mind feels fuzzy and all he can think about in that moment is how much he likes seeing you filled with him. Running his finger through your sensitive folds, he collects his cum and slowly pushes it back inside you.

He’s surprised you don’t comment on his fascination with pushing his cum back inside you.

“Hannie?”

“Yea Angel?”

“Are you having fun back there?” You tease him.

“Sorry I just like seeing you filled with me cum.” He doesn’t even bother trying to lie.

Crawling off the bed slowly he cleans himself off with a tissue before throwing in boxers and heading off to get a warm cloth to clean you up.

Jeonghan puts back on his sweatpants and you get dressed back in the sleep clothes he picked out for you.

Crawling back into bed a soft yawn passes your lips. Rolling in your side you signal for him to come hold you. The moment he is on the bed he pulls close to him. This feels perfect.

-HER-

When morning comes your wake with your body curled up against Jeonghan’s. Your head resting on his chest and your legs tangled together.

You never sleep better than you do when you’re in his arms. A soft yawn passes his lips as he pulls you closer.

“I need coffee,” his voice is raspy.

“We should get up and make some,” you nuzzle against his chest.

Slowly you both crawl out of his bed. He doesn’t bother putting a shirt on. He’s dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants that sit low on his hips. Holding your hand he leads you out of his room and out to the living room.

“Well I didn’t expect to see this,” Joshua's voice startles both of you.

Both of you stop in your tracks. Kitten pops out of the kitchen and instantly smiles at you and Jeonghan holding hands.

“I can’t say I’m shocked,” Kitten has a huge smile on her face. “You two always flirt and Hannie has always been quite fond of (Y/N).” Glancing up you see Jeonghan is blushing. You squeeze his hand and give him a smile. “Also seemed more touchy than normal.”

Kitten looks instantly happy as she stares at both of you. “So is this like an official thing?”

“I mean I love her and she’s my girlfriend,” Jeonghan responds.

“It’s about time you guys got together.” It turns out even your roommate knew that you were supposed to fall in love with Jeonghan.

Maybe Wonwoo is right when he talks about everyone having their own soulmate. Maybe Jeonghan is yours? You love him so much. He just makes everything feel right in your world.

[comicaurora]

Tahraim is my fav absolutely adore him! I love that you’ve made the smith deal in introspection and cryptic bs, a lot of times smiths are very straightforward characters in stories. What made you decide to shake it up?

Can gods be tied to concepts as well as cities? As Tahraim seems to be a god of blacksmithing (or at least has some serious motifs) does he have a city thats just forges?

He also seems a lot more mobile than the other gods, or is he just “tied” to Danix?

Tahraim is a conceptual god, a class of deity considered grander and more untethered than city or nature gods. Also in his weight class are Emnis and Erebas (dreams and nightmares), Shanyasi (music), Sennaia (knowledge), Jiya (war), and a whole bunch of others. They're gods of ideas, and their domains are in the collective consciousness of mortals. They can manifest anywhere they hold sway, and several of them have constructed domains of their own in pocket dimensions; Sennaia has a transfinite library hidden away somewhere, and Tahraim has a forge.

Tahraim's personality comes from my own experience with artists and craftspeople. Many artists are acutely aware that in order for their work to be better, they need to be better. The process of creation and introspection becomes inextricably linked. Forging a tool changes the forger, little by little.

There's also an element I've observed from teachers. I was always a firm proponent of "don't be cryptic or cute, just tell me the thing and I'll get it," and while that's true a lot of the time, there are concepts that cannot be Just Told in any meaningful way. They don't hit or stick if the person doesn't put them together themselves and construct a way that works for them. Teaching isn't always the impartation of information; a lot of the time it's guidance so the student crafts the tools that work for them. Even if the teacher can perfectly communicate what method works for them, everyone is different, and a student that does the exact same thing exactly right might gain no benefits or be actively harmed by the process. Instead, the student has to parse the lesson and create their own tools to execute the same goal.

Personal example under a readmore because it got a little long:

I've sporadically dealt with intrusive thoughts my whole life, though I didn't understand what they were at the time and they've mostly gone away on their own. When I was little, upsetting thoughts would get stuck in my head and stay there; things would give me nightmares that lasted for weeks, or I'd be stuck awake in the wee hours ruminating on every time in my life I'd done something shameful or harmful or wrong. My dad recognized I was upset, and tried to teach me a method of "counting thoughts" that worked for him, where I could sit for a few minutes and just passively observe the thoughts floating by, counting them and observing them and thus becoming aware that they were small, fleeting things with no power on their own. The problem is, this method didn't work for me at all, because "count the thought" didn't communicate to me "and that makes the thought not a problem anymore." The thought still hurt just as bad, all I was doing was reminding myself how many bad thoughts were happening. I would get overwhelmed and end up more distressed, and the fact that this thing that should have worked didn't work just convinced me that I was trapped and nobody could ever help me.

It took actual years before I found a method that clicked in my brain, and it was just one step further down the path of counting thoughts:

"Having that thought is harmless."

Every thought that got stuck in my head was about times or ways I might've harmed people. The things that distressed me most were things I'd done wrong that I had zero power to change, so the wrongness would just haunt me forever, making me miserable forever. But the root of the distress was that I had messed up and hurt people.

The thing that clicked was that having the thought does nothing to anyone but me. The thought is harmless, even if the event the thought is about wasn't or wouldn't be. Having the thought hurts no-one else. And since 90% of my distress was distress at the thought of hurting other people, it hit me that in reality, even in the depths of my angst, I was just sitting there, hurting no-one.

And suddenly I found that the last few intrusive thoughts rattling around in my brain withering, because the last thing that had been feeding them was gone. I was given the technique for Counting Thoughts, but it wasn't made for my hands. I had to make my own version out of it. And just because it worked for me and my own personal brain doesn't mean this method would work for someone else, just the same way the method that worked for my dad didn't click for me. If I wanted to teach someone a way to bypass intrusive thoughts, all I would have to work on would be what worked for me, but I could try to guide them through a path similar to the one I followed to find my method so they could maybe find their specific hangups and what specifically would work for them. Every mind is different.

This is also why it's so frustrating to hear someone say stuff like "Oh I used to worry about that too, but it's actually fine, you can just stop worrying about it!" And it's like, "oh, fuckin brilliant, just stop worrying about it? Absolute genius, I just hadn't thought of that-" like yea it sounds flippant and yea it's not helpful, but they are using the only frame of reference they have and describing what they did. They stressed about something, realized it was not actually a problem, and knowing that was enough to make it leave their mind alone. But saying that they "just stopped worrying" doesn't make you understand or internalize how they did it. And because they can't seem to help you, it makes you mad. But then sometimes, with time and perspective, you look back and think "wow, yea, at some point I really did just stop worrying about that." It doesn't mean their advice worked, it just means somewhere along the line something clicked in your mind and started working.

Tahraim is a smith who sees no difference between shaping a tool and shaping a person, but there are some ways that people can't be shaped from the outside, and instead have to shape themselves. He likes to be subtle and cryptic, but he also has good reason to be. The only way to make something click in someone's head is to guide them towards it and nudge them when necessary. It's not all hitting stuff with hammers.

[neferaskingdom]

♡ From Podiums to Playpens | LN4 & OP81

NEFERASKINGDOM

Summary: Lando and Oscar’s lives take a wild turn when an unexpected baby crash-lands at their doorstep. With zero parenting skills and all the wrong instincts, they bumble through diaper disasters and frantic calls, discovering that the only thing harder than winning a Grand Prix is keeping a tiny human alive!

A/N: Inspired by the fanart @mecachrome did of Oscar and Lando holding the baby, though this is exactly the opposite of what happened in the artwork 😝. Also I can't confirm if this will have a part 2 or not so sorry to everyone in advance for that and the cringey song at the end 🫠.

LANDO NORRIS MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST | OSCAR PIASTRI MASTERLIST

Oscar Piastri had a problem. A big, life-altering, scream-inducing problem.

He was many things: a rising Formula 1 star, a recent Monaco resident, and a man who liked things calm and orderly. What he was not, however, was someone equipped to handle finding a baby on his doorstep.

Yet, here he was.

At 8:00 AM, standing in the doorway of his new Monaco apartment, staring at a very real, very giggly baby girl bundled in pink. She was nestled in a stroller beside what looked like a mountain of baby supplies, completely oblivious to the fact that she’d just detonated Oscar’s entire sense of normalcy.

He stared blankly at the tiny human swaddled in pink, her wide, curious eyes blinking up at him as she gurgled happily in her stroller. His brain was stuck in neutral, wheels spinning but going absolutely nowhere. There was a baby on his doorstep, and not in a cute, ‘aww, how nice’ way. This was in the ‘what fresh hell is this?!’ kind of way.

Oscar re-read the note attached to the stroller for the tenth time.

Oscar blinked, reread the note, then blinked some more. “Tim? Who the hell is Tim?!”

Dear Tim,

I’m leaving the country. You can take care of Amelie now. She’s your daughter too. Good luck.

—Evelyn

This was not Oscar’s baby. Oscar had no babies. Babies did not spontaneously appear in Formula 1 drivers’ lives, certainly not on doorsteps. But there she was, this tiny little bundle of chaos just... chilling. Like she was meant to be there, like this was her grand entrance into his thoroughly unprepared life.

Panic hit Oscar like a sledgehammer. He paced in frantic circles, one hand on his phone and the other on his head, like physically holding onto his hair would stop his brain from leaking out of his ears.

He needed backup. No, he needed a miracle.

Oscar frantically dialed the only person dumb enough to know what to do in a situation like this: Lando Norris.

The phone barely rang twice before Lando picked up, sounding as annoyingly chipper as ever. “Hey, Osc! What’s up?”

“There’s a baby on my doorstep.”

There was silence on the other end.

“...What?”

“A baby. There is a living, breathing baby. On. My. Doorstep.”

Lando laughed, but not the good kind of laugh, the kind that suggested he thought Oscar was messing with him. “Mate, what? You sure it’s not a prank? Did someone send you one of those doll things? Is it like, a fan thing?”

“I’m not joking, Lando! There’s a real baby with a note that says I’m supposed to take care of her. Only, I’m not Tim. I don’t even know who Tim is! She’s right here, staring at me. What do I do?!”

Lando, clearly suppressing laughter, said, “Okay, okay, calm down. I’m on my way. Hold the fort, mate.”

“Hurry!” He said, squatting down, staring at the baby like she was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode into tears, vomit, or... whatever babies did. “Please don’t cry,” he whispered. “I’m not built for this.”

Twenty minutes (that felt like twenty years) later, Lando burst through the door with all the grace of a caffeinated squirrel, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Where’s this mystery baby? Let me see the little rascal!” Lando scanned the apartment and spotted the baby, his face lighting up like it was Christmas morning. “Oh my God, look at her! She’s so tiny!”

Lando immediately dropped to his knees and scooped up Amelie without hesitation, hoisting her into the air like she was Simba from The Lion King. “Aw, hi, Milly!”

“Milly?” Oscar repeated, a horrified expression plastered on his face. “You already named her?”

“Amelie’s too formal for a baby, don’t you think?” Lando said, casually ignoring Oscar’s panicked state. He bounced Milly in his arms, pulling silly faces at her. “See? She loves me.”

Oscar stared at him in disbelief. “Lando, focus! We need a plan! We’re not renaming the baby; we’re getting her out of here!”

Milly just let out a joyful giggle, tiny fists batting at Lando’s face. Oscar’s eyes widened in horror as Lando juggled the baby like a sack of flour, his nerves stretched thinner by the second. “Lando, stop! You’re gonna drop her! Babies are fragile!”

“Nah, she’s tough. Look at her! Strong grip. Good potential for karting,” Lando said, wiggling his fingers in front of Milly’s face. “Who’s a future world champion, huh? You are!”

Oscar grabbed the back of the couch like it was his last lifeline to sanity. “This is insane. We’re not keeping her. We need to call someone. Her real dad. Where the hell is Tim?!”

“Oh, relax,” Lando waved a hand dismissively, “it’s just babysitting for a few hours. How hard can it be? The mom even dropped off all the supplies we might need!”

Turns out, it was really fucking hard

By midday, the chaos had reached DEFCON 1. Lando had somehow managed to knock over a stack of baby formula cans in the kitchen while Oscar was trying to decipher the instructions on how to make a bottle.

“This says... 50ml of water for every scoop of formula,” Oscar muttered, staring at the weird spoon-thing. “But how big is the scoop? What the hell is a scoop measurement?”

Lando, who was now wearing Milly in a baby carrier that he had insisted on trying out, leaned over the counter and squinted at the instructions. “It’s like... a baby science experiment. Just add more water, it’ll balance out.”

“That’s not how science works, Lando!”

“Sure it is!” Lando grinned, opening the microwave to heat the bottle, but then proceeded to accidentally set it for five minutes instead of thirty seconds. How someone even manages to do that Oscar will never know.

Inevitably the bottle exploded.

Milk sprayed everywhere, coating the inside of the microwave in an unholy mess. Oscar screamed. “What did you do?!”

“I thought that’s how long babies need it!” Lando yelped, staring in horror at the milk-splosion.

Milly, blissfully unaware of the carnage, was happily chewing on one of Lando’s shirt buttons.

Oscar stared at the ceiling, praying for strength. “We are going to kill this baby. We’re going to accidentally kill her.”

Lando, ever the optimist, patted Oscar on the back. “Nah, babies are resilient. They’ve got, like, soft heads, right? So they can handle stuff.”

“That’s the opposite of what soft heads mean, Lando!”

Lando grabbed a spoon and casually scooped up some of the spilled milk, giving it a taste. “Hmm. Tastes weird.”

“STOP EATING THE BABY’S MILK, LANDO!”

After the bottle fiasco, they decided to tackle diaper duty. Or rather, Oscar decided, while Lando found new and creative ways to not help. At one point, Lando was making airplane noises with Milly’s pacifier while Oscar sat cross-legged on the floor, furiously Googling “how to change a diaper without gagging.”

“This can’t be that hard,” Lando said confidently, grabbing a diaper and attempting to strap it onto Milly’s squirming body. He failed. Multiple times.

“You’re putting it on backwards,” Oscar muttered, half in disbelief.

“Am I? Wait, which side is the front?”

Oscar was too stressed to even respond, choosing instead to help flip the diaper the right way around. But Milly had other ideas. She kicked her tiny legs, laughing as both boys fumbled with the diaper tabs.

After several failed attempts and at least two accidental kicks to Oscar’s face, they stood back and admired their work. The diaper was barely holding together, half askew and duct-taped in place because Lando thought duct tape “solved all problems.”

Oscar looked like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. “We duct-taped a baby.”

“She seems cool with it!” Lando pointed at Milly, who was now rolling around happily in her makeshift duct tape diaper. “Duct tape solves everything!”

Oscar grabbed his phone. “This is not sustainable. I need to call someone. We can’t keep doing this. I need to find Tim.”

Several hours later, after a very frustrating call with his real estate agent, Oscar finally got a number for Tim—the previous tenant, who, as it turns out, had moved to America. 

Oscar punched in the number, already bracing himself for the nightmare conversation ahead. Lando sat cross-legged on the floor, Milly in his lap, reading her a book that was upside down?

Tim picked up after a few rings, his voice groggy and irritated. “Hello?”

Oscar wasted no time. “Timothy?! It’s Oscar. I live in your old apartment in Monaco. Listen, there’s a baby here. Your baby. Evelyn dropped her off with a note and now she’s... well, she’s here, with us. What do we do?!”

There was a brief silence, followed by a sound like a man whose soul had just left his body. “Oh, fuck,” Tim groaned. “Evelyn left her? Again?”

“Again?!” Oscar sputtered. “This is a thing that she does? she just goes around... leaving the baby lying around like a sack of potatoes?”

Tim let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen, man, I’m in New York, okay? I got stuck with this job, corporate America’s been eating me alive. I’m lucky if I can get ten minutes of daylight. I haven’t even unpacked yet and now you’re telling me Evelyn just dropped Amelie off without a heads-up?”

Oscar’s jaw was clenched so tight he thought his teeth might crack. “She didn’t just drop her off—she basically abandoned her and ran! What am I supposed to do with her? I’m a Formula 1 driver, not... not a babysitter!”

Lando, overhearing this, piped up helpfully, “We duct-taped her diaper! Worked like a charm.”

Tim screeched on the other end. “You what?”

“Look, it was either that or she’d be laying around butt naked,” Oscar said, rubbing his temples as he paced. “Focus! I need you to come back and get her, like, now. Please.”

“Man, I wish I could!” Tim sounded frantic now, as if the weight of the universe had just been dumped on him. “But I’m up to my neck in work! I’ve got back-to-back meetings, deadlines, projects—I can’t just hop on a plane!”

“Are you kidding me right now? You can’t just leave your baby with two random blokes! What kind of corporate job is this? Are they holding you hostage?”

Tim let out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh yeah, might as well be! Thanks, late-stage capitalism. I’m chained to a desk, and Evelyn’s probably off somewhere sipping cocktails while you two... duct-tape diapers together?!” He sounded like he was spiraling. “Why is my life like this?”

Oscar was losing his grip on sanity. “What are we supposed to do, Tim? We’re trying here, but we can’t even heat up a bottle without blowing up the microwave! She’s going to be in worse shape than we are if this keeps up!”

Tim let out an exasperated groan. “You think I’m not freaking out here? I don’t want to leave her with you two! But I can’t do anything about it! I’ll have to talk to my boss, and that’ll take days—corporate policies, you know how it is.”

Oscar slumped against the wall. “Tim, I swear to God, if you don’t get on a plane soon, Lando will start raising her to be the next world champion, she’ll probably know more about tire degradation than I do by the time you’re back!”

Tim started to ramble, sounding more unhinged by the second. “Oh, I’m gonna kill Evelyn. I swear, if I ever make it out of this job alive, I’m flying back just to wring her neck. She’s gonna pay for this, and I’m gonna—”

Oscar interrupted him, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Tim, focus! Just tell us what to do. You’re the dad, for God’s sake!”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Tim practically shrieked, his voice going full meltdown mode. “Change her, feed her, keep her alive! That’s all I’ve got. Just... just don’t screw it up!”

“Don’t screw it up?!” Oscar was losing his mind. “That’s your parenting advice?”

Tim sighed heavily. “Look, I’ll try to get there as soon as I can. Maybe two weeks, tops. In the meantime, you’re it. You’re her only hope.”

Oscar stared at the phone, incredulous. “Two weeks?!”

“Yeah, yeah, two weeks. You’ve got this, man,” Tim said hurriedly, like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone. “You’re a driver. You’re adaptable. Just, uh, adapt to... fatherhood.”

Oscar hung up, staring blankly at Lando, who was now trying to teach Milly how to fist bump.

“So... what did he say?” Lando asked, not looking up from Milly’s tiny fist.

Oscar felt like his life was spiraling out of control. “He’s not coming back for two weeks.”

Lando, completely unbothered, grinned. “So… we’re keeping her?”

Oscar buried his face in his hands. “We are not keeping her. This is temporary. I am not a dad, and I’m not about to become one!”

Lando shrugged, giving Milly a finger to grab. “Relax, Osc. It’s just babysitting. We’ve got this.”

Oscar collapsed onto the couch, defeated. “We’re screwed.”

Lando grinned, still blissfully optimistic. “Nah, we got this. How hard can it be?”

Famous last words.

By the time evening rolled around, Oscar was teetering on the edge of a complete nervous breakdown. His hair stuck out in every direction, dark circles framed his eyes, and he was sporting the look of a man who had seen too much in one day. Meanwhile, across the room, Lando was in his own little world, completely oblivious to the chaos he had helped create.

“Please fall asleep,” Oscar muttered, his head in his hands as he slumped into the couch. He shot a pleading glance at Milly, who was, of course, still wide awake, her big eyes blinking up at him like she was in on the joke. “Please, I am begging you.”

Milly giggled in response, showing no signs of slowing down. If anything, she seemed to be gaining more energy as the night went on. And Lando, ever the optimist, had decided the solution to everything was a lullaby.

A lullaby that had nothing to do with actual lullabies and everything to do with... Formula 1.

“Alright, alright,” Lando said, grinning like this was the best night of his life. He cradled Milly in his arms, swaying back and forth like some deranged nanny. “You wanna hear a song, Milly? ‘Course you do.”

Oscar groaned into his hands. “Lando, for the love of God, just—”

Too late. Lando had already kicked into full performance mode, belting out a song so chaotic and nonsensical it would’ve made any sane adult bash their head into the wall

He bounced Milly with every line, and to Oscar’s absolute horror, she loved it. She giggled like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard, her little fists grabbing onto Lando’s shirt as if demanding more.

“♪ Ohhh, race cars and pit stops,

Tires go screech, engines go vroom!

Zoom around the track, don’t look back,

Lap time’s dropping, we’re gonna attack! ♪”

Oscar rubbed his temples harder, as if somehow massaging his skull would stop the growing headache. “Why are you like this?”

But Lando was in the zone, not stopping for anything. He twirled in a circle with Milly, who was now laughing uncontrollably and continued the absolute madness.

Oscar looked on, his mind unraveling. This wasn’t a lullaby. This was... some kind of fever dream. Lando, still dancing around the living room like he was in a one-man musical, clearly had no idea how to get babies to sleep.

“♪ Pit lane’s calling, gotta switch the tires!

Box, box, baby, we’re dodging all the fires!

Fuel up quick, no time to chill,

We’re racing to bedtime, going in for the kill! ♪”

“Lando,” Oscar said through gritted teeth, “she’s supposed to be winding down, not revving up!”

Lando shot him a cheeky grin. “It’s working, mate. Look at her. She’s loving it!”

Milly squealed in delight, grabbing onto Lando’s face and pulling at his cheeks, while Lando just kept on singing like it was the most normal thing in the world.

We’re gonna celebrate with a chicken dinner! ♪”

“♪ Final lap, we’re almost there,

Through the checkered flag, feel the air!

Who needs sleep when you’re almost a winner?

Oscar could only groan in despair as Lando finished with an overly dramatic spin, still holding Milly like she was some kind of victory trophy. She clapped her tiny hands together, thoroughly entertained, while Oscar’s sanity crumbled just a little more.

Lando grinned as he plopped down on the couch next to Oscar, baby Milly perched on his knee like a royal princess. “See? We’ve got this.”

Oscar’s eye twitched. “Lando. Why do you keep saying that?”

Lando shrugged, completely at ease. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Oscar stared at him, wide-eyed, as if trying to mentally telepathize all of the worst possible things that could happen, starting with the fact that they were two twenty-something Formula 1 drivers responsible for a baby for the next two weeks.

Milly, still very much not asleep, gurgled happily and slapped Lando’s cheek, clearly delighted by the chaos she had caused.

Oscar leaned back on the couch, staring at the ceiling in defeat. “I’m not going to get a single second of sleep these two weeks, am I?”

Lando beamed at him, completely unfazed. “Nope. Welcome to fatherhood, mate.”

Oscar groaned and pulled a cushion over his face, muffling his scream as Milly giggled uncontrollably at his suffering.

This was going to be the longest two weeks of his life.

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

the brain worms crave seeing kunikida with his hair down- but alas the brain worms and my hands which know only the creative bounds of shitposts are unable to bring this notion into reality,,,,

[ssentimentals]

seventeen members as love tropes: choi hansol

forced proximity

'coincidence? baby, they don't exist'

'so, what's your name?'

you blink, turning around to face the guy with who you got stuck in the elevator. he is now comfortably sitting on the floor with his knees tucked closer to his chest, leaning on the wall. the look on his face has zero traces of nerves or anxiety, he's opening bag of chips with a small smile on his face, looking at you like what is happening right now is absolutely normal. is this how an average day goes for him?

'you think this button is broken?' you ask instead, turning back. you push at 'call' button again but no sound comes out. 'we can't actually be stuck here with no connection to the outside world, right?'

'it happens quite often.' my god, so you were right, this is an average day for him. 'but no, this button works, we just need to wait a little. maybe these guys are out somewhere.'

'out where?' you ask, turning back to him. smell of chips starts filling up the cabin and you try to concentrate on it instead of thinking about being stuck here forever. 'should i just keep on pressing that button?'

your voice gets caught in your throat because the guy looks at you with... you don't know what. his gaze is piercing and it's like he's looking right at you, within you, in your soul. it's unsettling, especially when it comes from someone that handsome. in all three months since you moved into this apartment complex, you only met several families and few kids here and there, but never this guy. your brain unnecessarily reminds you that right now you're standing in front of a really handsome guy in old washed out t-shirt and pj pants, while he's at least dressed in jeans and sweatshirt.

'i'm hansol,' he says suddenly, breaking your thinking spiral. 'your neighbor from the forth floor.' he then pats a space next to him: 'come sit? i think it's more comfortable than standing.' you open your mouth to argue when he adds: 'i'll be the one pressing that button, no worries. just come sit down, yeah? you can meditate that way better, no?'

your nose scrunches in confusion. 'meditate?'

it's time for hansol to look sheepish. 'isn't this what people do when they start panicking? i mean- i am not implying that you are panicking right now, but you look pretty worried and i thought- shit, you are not panicking, right? there really is no need to, i promise we will be out of here in no time. i thought if you can sit and mediate then you can-' he shuts up, noticing his rambling and how your eyes grow only bigger with each word he says. after a second of hesitation, he stands up, grabs his chips and comes over to you, shoving them in your direction. 'here. chips.'

there are a lot of things that you can say or do, but your mind chooses to grab offered snack and silently move to where he was sitting. hansol seems to approve, as he smiles a little and leans with his back on the opposite wall so he can still look at you, while insistently pressing the 'call' button. 'so.'

'yes?' you raise your head, slowly munching on the chip. it's salty taste helps you stay here in the moment instead of disappearing in the anxiety.

'i feel like it's my fate, you know? to get stuck in the elevators. like god is trying to tell me something through it, you know? like i don't get stuck just because, i get stuck for something. and then i think-'

it takes you five seconds to realize that hansol is doing this on purpose. he is distracting you so you won't panick and this gesture is incredibly sweet for a random stranger. you're not sure how much time passes, because hansol's storytelling is fascinating (and a bit weird, but in a more 'not ordinary' way than bad). you don't notice how your spine is not rigid anymore, but hansol does. he notices how you slowly relax, hold his gaze more and eat chips more actively. he notices how corners of your eyes crinkle when you smile and how cute you look with confusion written all over your face. in truth, he has no idea what he is even saying, but he can't stop, can't let you remember even for a second that this stupid elevator is not working. his thumb is numb from how strongly he pushes on that 'call' button but he ignores it in favor of staring in your eyes, catching every emotion that sparkles in them. you are cute and you don't even realize it and that makes you even cuter.

'hello? is someone there?' when static voice cuts through, both of you jump a little. 'apologies for this horrible inconvinience, elevator will start working in few minutes. are you alright?'

hansol takes a look at your surprised face and half-finished bag of chips. 'yeah, we are all good.'

pang of regret slashes through him when you hastily stand up and cheer, when cabin finally starts descending. shit, he didn't even manage to learn your name! when elevator door opens, hansol reaches out for your hand and is pleasantly surprised when you take it with a smile, rushing out with the cutest little 'whoop!' he saw in his life.

'i think you are right,' you suddenly speak, making him look up. 'what you said about you getting stuck in the elevators meaning something? i think you're meant to help people like me.'

i think i was meant to meet you, he wants to say but doesn't. instead what comes out of his mouth is: 'you owe me.' at your confused expression, he points at his snack. 'chips.'

'oh. oh!' you exclaim, getting flustered. 'of course, i will-'

'-and your name.' he adds, making you freeze. he watches understanding dawn on you and smiles. 'and your favorite drink. so i would know what to buy for you.'

it's bold. not exactly his style, but his head-to-mouth filter is not working anymore. for a second he thinks he overdid it, but then you blush (so prettily), then smile (so, so prettily) and he knows he didn't mess up. when you step closer and introduce yourself, hansol knows he not only didn't mess up, but also won something out of this whole situation. (and he doesn't know it yet, but this big win? it's your heart. it really is).

a/n: guilty for having this trope as my most favorite one!! and who is better than hansol to write this for, am i right? - nini

my other works are here