#there are a lot of things left unexplored that i would like to read about

[michameinmicha]

That feeling when you just finished a book and you want to stay in that world just a little longer...

[rayclubs]

Which tf2 merc do you think gets mischaracterized the least?

Good question! Let's do a rating.

In my opinion, there are three aspects to characterizing someone.

Facts - you have to get basic character backstory right. This includes all objective canon truths, events, and, well, facts about said character.

Behavior - you need to understand how the character acts, how their interpersonal relationships function, what they're like in their day-to-day life. This is the nitty-gritty of fanfic and fanart, this is dialogue, line-to-line characterization.

Integrity - you need to understand the character's core beliefs and principles, what their values are and how they view the world around them. This isn't something you can easily quote or point to as a mistake in fanfic, it's more of an overall idea of a character.

Each of these is going to be worth up to three points, with zero for terrible characterization that gets everything wrong. This would ideally total to nine points. I'll be awarding an additional bonus point for character interpretation that doesn't make me scream "he would not fucking say that". Let's go.

Scout:

His backstory is fairly simple. He has an absent father, half a dozen siblings, and a crush on his boss who doesn't reciprocate. People mostly get this right, except they also call him a virgin despite the fact he canonically lands the fried chicken queen, and seems to do it with ease. 2/3.

His behavior is also mostly portrayed accurately, in that he's loud, obnoxious, self-absorbed, and can be kind of a dick, though not completely without endearing qualities. The fandom is, admittedly, guilty of making him more insecure and self-conscious than he actually is, to amp up the drama. 2/3.

His core values, however, are completely off. The main interpretations I see of him are "depressed Scout", "homophobic Scout", and "baby Scout", neither of which is true to his character. This is a grown man with a force-a-nature complex. The homophobia is just projection and internalized prejudice, but that phenomena is too complicated for me to dissect here. I talked about it before and might make another post later. Anyway, 0/3.

Scout does not get a bonus point. He would not fucking say "poggers" but he would say "daddy-o".

Overall characterization score: 4/10

Soldier:

Very little is known about Soldier's backstory so there isn't really any room to be wrong about it. What we do know is also vague and unreliable, so it's open to interpretation. Given how little room for error there is, I'll give him a 3/3.

His behavior is completely off in most cases, often shown to either be overly aggressive or so dumb you start to question how this man functions in his day-to-day life. Canon Soldier has plenty of endearingly stupid moments but a lot of them can be read as deadpan jokes on the character's part, and many turn out to be secretly clever moments, such as him infiltrating the robot base with a goofy cardboard disguise. Likewise, canon Soldier has plenty of aggressive and mean moments, but he's not cruel and very clearly not a threat to his teammates, which isn't captured at all in fanworks that decide to go that way. 0/3.

Soldier's core ideals are mostly captured well, as in - yeah, he calls people communist as an insult in fanfics. I feel like he should mention God more often than he does in fanon, it's, like, one of the two ideologically meaningful things he ever talks about. The importance of "America" as a concept to him is mostly preserved but left unexplored. 2/3.

Soldier does not get a bonus point, he would not fucking say [homophobic slur] yet here we fucking are.

Overall characterization score: 5/10

Pyro:

His backstory is nonexistent yet people still fuck it up. His technical knowledge is clearly extensive and impressive, as shown by the complexity of his weaponry - which, mind you, looks HAND MADE - but people treat him as if he's altogether incompetent and maniacally stupid all the time always. He also ran an engineering company for hell knows how long and people just forget about it because they're allergic to adults or something. God this pisses me off so much. I mean for fuck's sake, people act like his full job description is "Pyromaniac" and not "Pyrotechnician". I'm so tired. 0/3.

His day-to-day characterization and dialogue is also completely off. People treat him as if he's INCAPABLE of communication, make him obsess over childish things he's only shown a moderate liking to in a manner that's borderline creepy and insulting, and take away his whole entire agency in everything he ever does. I will literally not give y'all a single point, you do my man Pyro so dirty. 0/3.

His ideology is complex and vague in canon, and I don't blame people for getting confused by such things as Pyrovision, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. In my time on Ao3 I've seen animal Pyro, cryptid Pyro, monster Pyro, alien Pyro, evil mindless maniac Pyro, incompetent baby Pyro, nonbinary Pyro (HENCE MY PROBLEM WITH THE HEADCANON, do you see how it looks next to all these other interpretations?) but I've rarely, if ever, seen competent adult Pyro with actual hopes and dreams and agency. 0/3.

Pyro does not get a bonus point because he would not fucking say "uwu" but he would say "fuck", let Pyro say fuck.

Overall characterization score: 0/10 are you fucking surprised

Demoman:

Oh poor lad what have they done to you. So, Demo's backstory is arguably the most detailed and fleshed-out in the entire canon. Too bad nobody fucking read it. Admittedly, in the recent years I've seen people mostly manage to remember he has several jobs and is overall a competent and successful man, but it's rarely - if ever - explored, I've seen exactly one fic where the author bothered to explore what one of his other jobs might be (and it was not a good fic for many other reasons, don't ask me for a link), and it honestly feels like people don't want to dwell on it? Like, they mostly mention it to fill a quota, y'know? Here, I'm not racist, I've acknowledged one of this character's achievements, leave me alone. Also the subject of him being fucking adopted as a kid never comes up. 0/3.

His day-to-day characterization suffers a lot because people think alcoholism is the most morally repugnant thing that can ever happen to a human being. This man honestly barely even has a presence in the fics he's in. Are you wondering where Demo is? Well, he wasn't there! He was BUSY! He couldn't come! There is a handful of writers who bother to write his actual inner monologue and point of view, and this point goes out to them only. Also there was a pretty good Boots and Bombs fic in which Demo was a dick to Soldier but then got better, and it stuck with me. 1/3.

His core character is fucked up by fandom because he's either all flaws or not allowed to have any flaws, and there's no in-between. Ever since I joined the fandom I've seen a lot of critique floating around, and people mostly seem to listen and realize they've been mistreating the man for long enough, but it created a whole separate problem of Perfect Demoman which is bland and boring. People don't want to write an offensive caricature but don't feel like fleshing him out either, so they just make him great at everything and never let him fail and grown in ways that are meaningful. Except that one fic I mentioned earlier, but I've already awarded a point for that. 0/3.

Demo does not get a bonus point. I couldn't find a meaningful example of bad dialogue because, like I said, he has no presence in any of the fics he's in. He would fucking say something.

Overall characterization score: 1/10 and honestly it's too generous on my part.

Heavy:

Okay so Heavy's backstory really confuses people. I've got like a dozen asks in my inbox when I called his father a revolutionary AND a counter-revolutionary. Wait till I call him a royalist, it'll blow your tits clean off. I don't feel like explaining the history of the communist regime in the USSR on this post, let's just say people are mostly faithful to canon but don't really "get" Heavy. 2/3.

His day-to-day characterization is plain bad. He's treated like a mother hen to the mercs when he's more of a stoic friend with a mean streak and a crude sense of humor. I think the main problem is the dialogue, people just can't give him the dignity of speaking in an intelligent manner. It's honestly also pretty bad in the comics. 1/3.

His core ideals are fine, if oversimplified. He's not a complicated man, he loves his family, his guns and his doctor. People rarely give him any more depth than that but it's not offensive to his character or anything. I feel like he should have more political opinions than people give him. I also feel like people make him way more protective of Zhanna's romantic pursuits, to a creepy degree. I mean, yes, he's annoyed by her marrying Soldier, and seems horrified for a brief second, but it's not like he's against it or anything, he's just kinda surprised? Anyway, 2/3.

Heavy does not get a bonus point because he would not fucking say "da". Pizda.

Overall characterization score: 5/10

Engineer:

Yeah people mostly get him. He's got 11 Ph. Ds. Some treat him like he grew up as an actual cowboy or something but most remember he's a nerd. I'd actually give all the points here because Engie's backstory is NOT complicated. 3/3.

His dialogue and day-to-day characterization is also okay, though people really mellow him down a lot. I had a bit in one of my fics where he said something like "let's teach those sumbitches how the real killin' is done" and like three different people commented on it saying they liked or were surprised by his mean energy. It's not even that mean, I think it kinda shows my problem with his interpretation. 2/3.

I asked about mischaracterization once and a lot of people replied "Engie is the most mischaracterized because people treat him like he's good but he's actually evil" which I think pretty much covers it? It's hard to write someone who is not implicitly strictly good or strictly evil. Engie treads this balance really well, I'm actually convinced his demeanor is not a facade, he is nice at times and mean when he wants to be. Fanon Engie can only be one of two things and neither is right. 0/3.

Engie gets a bonus point as an exception. I actually can't tell why, people just have his voice on-point. Is his accent and manner of speaking really that easy for you? I struggle to write him a lot. I think he should say "bitch" more.

Overall characterization score: 6/10

Medic:

People focus on the fact he lost his medical license more than on the fact he HAD a medical license in the first place. Other than that he really doesn't have a backstory. I dislike that people try to give him a sad one, I think he grew up loved and maybe even a little spoiled, but I can't fault others for not following my headcanons, so. 2/3.

His dialogue is the WORST because it's written phonetically. His goofy yet self-confident energy isn't captured well at all. The best I can put this is "people wife him" but it sounds kinda mysogynistic so really I'm at a loss. Submissivepilled breedablemaxxer. 0/3.

His core values are also all over the place. The complicated thing about writing Medic is that he actually doesn't come with pre-packaged drama. His backstory is vague, his demeanor is optimistic, his vibes are fun, and the worst thing that happened to him in canon was working with the classics for a bit - people amp it up to squeeze hurt out of it, which is fine, but not many people actually like going there. Thing is, fanfic writers aren't that good at writing drama when it hasn't been established before. They have to warp his character, make him edgy, self-conscious, or plain mad evil without redeeming qualities. I remember really struggling with my big Medic fic because I wanted it to be dramatic but had to put a lot of work into actually building up the emotion, because Medic is fine. He's fine. He's alright. He's fine. He's doing well. 0/3.

Medic does NOT get a bonus point, he would not fucking say "babygirl" and I'm not even sure if he would say "yass queen slay" I'm SORRY

Overall characterization score: 2/10

Sniper:

People mostly get his backstory right, probably because it's the most well-explained in the comics and it gets the most "screentime". It's also literally a Superman parody which is funny and memorable in concept. 3/3.

People can't find a good balance between stoic professionalism and social anxiety. I think Sniper is actually pretty simple, in that he's a little self-conscious which pushes him to actively better himself as a professional, but also makes him a little awkward so he comes across as standoffish and a little mean. He's a solid bloke that's balanced and feels real. Fandom has to go for the extreme every goddamn time with him. It sucks. 0/3.

People kind of get his drama, his relationship with his family and whatnot - mostly because a lot of us losers can relate, I bet - but, again, go for the extreme in making him anxious, whiny, and sad as a wet kitten. Unless it's a porn fic in which case he's an absolute freak that growls at people. I don't know what it is about Sniper that makes him so difficult to characterize. Manic pixie dream boy. Dark and moody lover love me like no other. 0/3.

Sniper does NOT get a bonus point because he doesn't say "cunt" nearly as often as he should. Also send me asks about my Sniper takes I want to stir up some shit.

Overall characterization score: 3/10.

Spy:

The only piece of his backstory we actually know is that he fathered the blight of the earth that is Scout TF2. 3/3.

His obnoxious and insufferable demeanor is mostly captured well. A lot of his portrayals aren't nearly as classy as people think they are, but that's because most authors are themselves proletarian, myself included, which is fine. Not many make the effort to pepper his speech with French words it would actually be natural for him to say, and blame it on the nonsensical complexity of the French language, but I'm not buying it as an excuse. 2/3.

His core values are off in regards to Scout - he's often portrayed as soft, mellow, overbearing, and critical of Scout's love life to either a comical or an uncomfortable degree. His fandom portrayal often also lacks the self-confidence he's demonstrated in the comics. Spy is not above strangling a man with a chain that holds the shackles around his ankles, he wouldn't consider it a blow to his dignity to fuck any of his coworkers either, come on. He's also funny and goofy but the fandom tends to neglect that. 1/3.

Spy does not get a bonus point because he would not say "perchance" but he would say "your mother".

Overall characterization score: 6/10

The final scores are:

Spy - 6/10

Engineer - 6/10

Heavy - 5/10

Soldier - 5/10

Scout - 4/10

Sniper - 3/10

Medic - 2/10

Demoman - 1/10

Pyro - 0/10

There we go! Pyro is the most mischaracterized, Demoman is a close second, and nobody is characterized well. Cheers!

[haunted-radishes]

Hey, you seem to be a Wen Ning enjoyer, can you tell me what you like best about him? I feel like he has a lot of potential that isn’t really explored enough for him to be a fave so I’d like to hear your POV on him!

Honestly, right from the beginning he has always just made me happy :D

But to delve into it, the first thing that struck me about him was how kind he is. He's a sweet guy! I started with The Untamed, only reading the novel later, so my primary impression of him is the version that sneaks down to the dungeons to take out the evil dog and give Wei Wuxian some medicine, so he's going behind his sect's back to do what's right as soon as he has the opportunity to do so. I love how he's timid and gentle, but has the backbone of steel to risk it all to do the right thing.

But he's also kind of. Odd. Sometimes it ties into his hidden nerves of steel, like when he drugs the entire cohort at Lotus Pier to help Wei Wuxian and co. Like, it was an incredible act, but he just. Fucking. Drugged them. No hesitation. Absolutely wild behavior. Especially in the novel where he had only met Wei Wuxian once before this! I do prefer the drama version where his actions make more sense, but his devotion is at least a little unhinged no matter the version. But also, even besides the obsessive devotion, his energy is just. Endearingly strange and off-putting. Like when he decides that the best way to quietly contact Wei Wuxian is to dangle upside down outside his window. Or feels absolutely no need to make himself less terrifying when he power walks towards the tied-up juniors with a sword.

And then! The unexplored depths and unexamined tragedy! You're left to wonder so much about him! How DOES he feel about the whole fierce corpse thing? About his compromised autonomy? Would he have turned against his sect even if Wei Wuxian hadn't charmed him? Does he regret any of his actions before killing Jin Zixuan? How deep do his grudges run? Is there anyone from the Wen sect outside his established circle of family and cultivators who he misses or secretly mourns? What does he think about the other great sect members, especially the leaders? Plus so many more questions we'll never truly know the answers to, because he tucks his problems away and never speaks of them! The closest glimpse we get of his inner turmoil is his verbal evisceration of Jiang Cheng with the core reveal, and that does show us some interesting things about his character! For the first time, we see him choosing to be as hurtful as possible, showing how much he clearly resents Jiang Cheng, but how much of that is personal dislike, how much is anger on Wei Wuxian's behalf, how much is blame for the deaths of his family, and how much is gall at him benefiting from dear late Wen Qing's genius and service without even knowing it? Also, what is he going to do after canon? What is left for him?

Also he's relatable, lol. That awkward uncertainty he always carries with him is very endearing in an "oh, me too buddy" kind of way. He has so much going on inside his head, but all that comes out is, "oh! Excuse me >.<" People are having massive emotional moments right in front of him, and he's just..... There.

Anyway, Wen Ning! Love that guy! Makes my brain go "brrrr"

[yuseirra]

Thanks for keeping quiet about the spoilers if you've been aware of them~ it (being spoiled)had been happening for me over and over for the past month and it had been getting painful, I'd have blocked people who sent that to me at this rate. I was able to.. see it for myself in peace this time hehe

I've seen the full...spoilers (like the whole ch 162)

here's my raw thoughts on that.

I'm honestly not amused... not so surprised either though...

I do hope there's something more to this because there are things that I feel are SO left unexplored, there's a lot I don't like, but if this is all there is to it, it could be, I guess.

I still think.. Fatal is Kamiki's song. That song's vibes IS TRULY what he does feel about Ai, but in a pretty obsessive way I guess... it's not what Aqua would hold towards Ai (or others, like Ruby), that much is made clear in this chapter I feel? and?? Mephisto too?? That HAS to be his song? because it's about wanting to reach out to someone and wanting to meet that person who's already deceased, rather than drifting further apart by sacrificing for their sake. Ruby is alive, and Aqua's in this for her sake, right? And if Kamiki wants to do something about Ai, it should be about him trying to "feel her" or "get closer to her". Aqua and Kamiki's doing the opposite thing here and I feel what Kamiki's doing matches that song more.

at least, that's how I feel about it.

The rest is in the read more:

(I jotted this down as soon as I saw the chapter, in another language~)

I saw spoilers, and seriously???

How do you even "help" someone like this…

I don’t really understand this kind of thought structure or logic…

Wouldn't it be better without the movie arc? If so, I wouldn’t have been so confused either…

If it’s any comfort, I was right about Aqua’s emotions—Aqua really does live for Ruby. I wrote that in an analysis I made earlier(JUST A SINGLE DAY AGO)

(I wrote: Back to the title topic—It’s really obvious that Fatal is Kamiki’s song because,

Though Ai is someone very special and important to Aqua, I think at this point, Ruby is even more precious to him. Aqua still has people around him who are alive, and he has to live for them. Living for the dead is exhausting and hard. There’s so much for him to look forward to (which is, in a way, the essence of what Kamiki says to Aqua in chapter 161). Aqua has Ruby. Ruby is incredibly important to him. He also has Kana and Akane. He’s not at the point where he lives solely for Ai, nor should he be.

Kamiki doesn’t have people like that. Ai is his only reason. To die, to live- whatever he's doing, I feel he's in it for what he THINKS is for her sake.)

I got this part EXACTLY right, didn't I?

For Aqua, Ruby is definitely the most precious person. It’s true that the balance of his life has shifted from Ai to Ruby…

But this is kind of funny… even though it’s a pretty common trope!! I seriously already drew a scene just like this??? The context is different, but still.

In this comic!

What the heck? LOL, so now I feel weird.

THOSE ARE HANDS. IT'S SKETCHY, BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR WHEN I DREW HIM BEING DRAGGED AWAY

I was honestly surprised. I drew this back in September 21st? LOL.

Right now, the story feels a bit disconnected,

Because it makes me feel like Ai’s video or her request… wasn’t really necessary.

If the twins’ reincarnation was really just for Ruby, then Ai was just… there to play the role of the mother? To carry Aqua and Ruby as a vessel..?;

Did it really need to be Ai’s child?

Also, does that mean Aqua’s mission was just to die in Ruby’s place?;;?

It could’ve been phrased like 'Take down Kamiki who's grown evil.' It seems like he’s really deteriorated. How does someone end up like that…

Doesn’t Kamiki need some sort of exorcism at this point? The way he talks, it’s like he’s possessed by an evil spirit.

If in this chapter, there was a scene where he says he wants to see or feel Ai and then manipulates people and kills them, I would’ve accepted it immediately, like, 'Yeah, this guy has to die here.' But there’s still nothing about what happened with Yura or if he killed anyone… there’s no clear image. It's about him saying he can’t die yet, and it’s still just about him wanting to see Ai forever. (And that phrase—doesn’t it overlap with the song IDOL, TV VER, where someone in the chorus goes:

(You're my savior)

(My true savior)

(My saving grace)

(I'm with you forever)

(By your side, forever)?

He's the guy who talks about forever when it comes to Ai, I guess?

The glitch effect and the white star turning into a black star… It really looks like he’s the black star. Or maybe a corrupted white star.

So, what’s he been doing all this time?

If he’s this wicked, why don’t they show us any evidence to back it up? Even as background material, wouldn’t that make sense? It feels like it’s not just laziness in drawing… we should be shown what he’s been up to during this time.

I guess it’s true he tried to kill Ruby oh my god…what kind of guy did Ai date.. I can't believe it. If he dies here, he won’t be able to go to the same place as Ai, but he should at least get smacked by her in hell for what he’s done. What was that even supposed to be…

The story is hard to understand because, when he looked at Ruby and his eyes lit up, why was it a white star? Does killing Ruby mean he can see Ai forever?

Honestly… I still don’t really understand the whole 'shine forever' thing, so it doesn’t emotionally resonate with me.

It feels like this isn’t everything.

Is he really just split between two personalities? What is this guy’s deal? If he’s broken this badly, when did it start? Did he deteriorate right after they broke up and then turn into this person obsessed with Ai being the most important thing in the world?

Aqua won’t die.

If Ai’s will has even the slightest meaning, Kamiki shouldn’t end here, either.

If he’s truly irredeemable, then sure, it makes sense for him to die now. But if the songs are some kind of foreshadowing in ANY way, something might have driven him to become this twisted.

I just don’t see the point of turning him into a completely senseless madman…;;

He really seems to have fallen, but shouldn’t there be more to him having become this way than just having been dumped? Being dumped can turn a "noble" soul into this mess? I don't think so.

I feel like something's gotten him to become this way but who knows? If the author wants to explore it, they will, if they want to wrap it up like this, they would..

well, for Kamiki fans, I bet this will be the LOWEST point he'll ever be (or maybe that we find more dead bodies he hid on the news and go 'wow.. so he DID that' and it'd get even worse) so on the bright side, there's only something..you'll feel you can look forward to. Ai's wish is our only hope, why IS that thrown in there? They didn't have to make her say that, so I'm still bothered because i feel that arc somehow.. is a buildup that's led us to recognize saving him is what Ai's wanted.

It's not too long ago since that was addressed, so would they really make it go to waste, I wonder. Because if this guy isn't helped, it's not just about Kamiki as a character but; it's about leaving what Ai wanted as a lost cause.

That guy has seriously gone nuts though, I'm kind of worried not for the manga's sake but for his... what made him like that?? Is it really only him that's brought that upon himself because, I feel he used to be a really kind soul? Or did I just misinterpret him all along? He doesn't seem sane now... I wonder if I'll be able to pity him or not, it'll really depend - whether if he's what he's chosen to be or was possessed/against his will that he became like this.

is it hiatus next week? I hope not, right?

I guess I can.. just sit down and watch whatever they throw at me now. The art was pretty good! I don't like the chapter! but I also feel like regardless of where the story heads (may this chapter be all there is to it or having more twists to it later), this chapter WAS something that was planned. That's why I'm not that surprised.

[manonamora-if]

The Roads I Maybe Should Have Taken

The TRNT Post Mortem

Oye oye! As was promised, so it is! The Post Mortem for The Roads Not Taken (which hopefully won't be as long as the actual game...)

Follow me into my journey of once again speed-running my way through a competition, and coming out scratched and bruised and still not learning my lessons!

First, some links:

if you haven't played the game yet, I recommend you do before reading this!

you can find its IFDB page here (if you want to leave a review?)

and the STF version source code here for the code curious!

shortened version of the PostMortem on IntFic

Then, a little Table of Content:

The Idea

The Story

The Implementation

The Reception

The Do-Over?

And finally, we start! (under the break because it will be long - LoL at me writing 1/5th of TRNT as a Post Mortem)

I should preface this Post Mortem with I entered the SpringThing on a whim. I had just come out of a conga line of competitions and game jams since last Summer (log of release/update), and had plans on finishing working on other projects instead of this one (which I probably should have... sorry The Rye in the Dark City for abandoning you...). But I obviously didn't do that because here was another new fresh game! And then another two of those just after... whooops...

The idea for TRNT just popped into my brain one day and would not leave me until I implemented it, no matter what (yes, I am still weak willed, I have not learned my lesson from The Thick Table Tavern, the one about not rushing a project and publishing it at a later date when it is truly ready). I did have that thought in the back of my mind that if I do do this, it would be very likely I would end up with a repeat of TTTT, as in: half-full drink with too much ice, and expired garnish falling from the very pretty fancy glass.

Also I did not start working on the entry until the SeedComp was in its voting round (so around the 4-5th of March?). I really wasn't kidding about the speed-running thing....

Another thing: I had never created a parser game before this point AND suck real time at playing them! This was also indicated in my Author's comment.

Nothing obviously stopped me anyway, because here we are...

1- The Idea

A few weeks before the opening of the SpringThing intent, the French IF community was streaming some older parser entries, including Aisle* and Pick-Up the Phone Booth and Die, two games where the player can only do one action before the game ends. I'd never really experienced this kind of game before (the closest being having a sudden death/continue the story choice). It packed a punch, it was funny, and also so very weird. It left me dissatisfied and super intrigued. I wanted to try and do that too someday. *Funnily, someone on the French IF discord thought DOL-OS had been inspired by Sam Barlow's work (it wasn't, but TRNT def was).

Not, I am not going to be hella pretentious and full of myself by putting TRNT on the same level as those games (because I don't think I did a good enough job to merit a comparison), but the one-action-only gameplay and multiple endings drew me in (I love abrupt endings, cf P-Rix). I've mainly written longer form of IF rather than short bites, and I thought it would be fun to try to constrict myself as much as possible, by having just one thing, one action, one outcome.

And also: parsers. I had only dabbled with the Choice-Based/Hyperlink format, so I thought it was time to try the last unexplored part of my IF journey: parsers. Since the SpringThing Festival is a nice place to experiment, I thought why not try to make one then! I could not have survived the anxiety of the IFComp reviews for that one...

Still, it was not going to be without a challenge. I had very little experience with parsers, and I honestly didn't think I could learn how to use a parser program in such short amount of time*, when I had a lot of other stuff at the same time. So I thought, why not make it in Twine**, at least I know this program inside-and-out(almost). There would not be a steep learning curve there... What could go wrong? *lol at me, having made an Adventuron game in a non supported language in about 2 weeks after that, without ever having tried the program beforehand. I could totes have managed!! **Also, when I got set with Twine, I realised how fun it would be to maybe put people's expectations upside down by doing something you're not supposed to with Twine... or parsers!

Well, it was going right at first...

2- The Story

I really wanted to recreate the same gameplay of Aisle with its only-one-action-and-it's-over, so I started listing possible actions and put them into a context where this choice of action would mean everything for the PC - because it is the only action you have. Which might not have been a good take? Aisle works because the setting is incredible mundane, and there are no stakes.

The context pretty quickly drew itself as the player will chose a profession/career path, and if they do/choose something wrong, then...😬too bad for them, they made their choice, deal with the consequences. While, in reality, we are not stuck in a life because of one choice, but with a myriad of them (and still we can change this trajectory), it's still a big pressure you get as a youth, having to choose where to go and what to do when you are done with highschool, and what path to take. It's a lot of responsibility that sometimes feels like it will affect/haunt the rest of your life. Do I still have some of that school/parental pressure from when I had to make that choice ingrained somewhere inside? probably...

But the more foolish idea was to let my brain continue to think more about that context and create a world and story further than the choice. Instead of going forward with the consequences and the hints of what could have happened or just let the choice being the centre piece, the brain just went backwards and created a society (some sort of futuristic one) and vaguely described beings (that are not humans), and the ritualistic culture of this society, etc... While it was fun to think about all of those, and maybe provided a fun setting and enticing story for the player to go through the game, there might have been a bit too much of it. I think, in hindsight, this may have devalued the choice itself (which became even more watered down when I continued on writing the first screens).

And so, the job choice soon became the player is going through some sort of ritual (v trope-y) to determine their place in society. If it has a vibe of The Giver, it shouldn't be too surprising, the book is on my shelf.

So we still have the one-choice-to-rule-them-all, but now there is a also backstory and setting... and I have to include it somewhoeeven if it means cramming it somewhere, anywhere.

Oh wait, I thought, I'll just make it like a prologue to build anticipation for the choice!

And so the brain went on zooming again to create the waiting room, and the agonising walk in the corridor, and the finding your way to the altar, before you cant finally make your choice..... only to end up with two(-ish) paragraphs for each endings. wow - what a good balanced game this is becoming...

Speaking of endings, I had originally listed over 50 actions, each planned to have a different ending.... only to end up with about 11, 7 of those were actually related to the final countdown choice. It made me sadder than when I cut onions :(

It wasn't just the player that needed to make...

At this point, we were two weeks away from the deadline. I had the backbone of the code (-ish), a good third of the writing wasn't complete (and this was mainly those 11 endings), and no one had tested the game yet. There was no way I could have included all 50 original options if I wanted to make the deadline. might have been good in hindsight to remove those choices, especially with the current command system.

So choices had to be made and a buttload of planned things had to be cut. I narrowly managed to finish the needed endings in time (which required re-writing some of those into a fake choice), at least.

At the end, I strayed quite a bit from the Aisle concept of a mini intro - one action - an ending puzzle-y feel (and making the player piece the story together from the endings), to arrive at... well... this anxiously geolian walk to one's doom (or dream). Making the story quite... well... linear.

And from going somewhat wrong, it went a little wrong-er...

3- The Implementation

Wanting to avoid the headache of learning a new program, I had settled on Twine pretty much from the start (SugarCube, because that's how I've been rolling for the past almost 2 years!).

The big problématiques of this project were:

Twine is not a parser program (duh)

SugarCube has its limitations still (and macros that don't always work the way you want to)

I had never written a parser game before and suck at playing them (thank you, French IF streams that helps me enjoy them without experiencing the frustration of not finding the right combo!)

I still suck at JavaScript/jQuery to do weird things with the page (and probably fix all those issues)

and well did I already say Twine is not a parser program?

So I tried to get to the basic of parsers (an input box and text revealing itself onto the page when a command is entered) and prayed for the best. Easy, right?

WRONG!

SugarCube has an input box, but can only autofocus* inside one specific place (so you can't lock it somewhere else but the passage itself, which means you need to add it to every screen...) and when the passage is first loaded (doesn't work if the input box is added later on). *I have also hurt some kitten by overusing autofocus, which was only compensated by offering the the SugarCube God some bug reports about it so those issues could be fixed for the next update (TBA). But you really are not supposed to use autofocus as much as I did... 😬

SugarCube has an input box, but you can only move to another passage after you press Enter. So you can't have some fancy input checks, and you stay on the same page... without some custom listener macro* that is (Bless you Maliface and your Listen Macro) - or I guess some JavaScript code, but who has time for that... I had included a button as an alternative to confirm the commands (which was how I had coded it for DOL-OS), but it would have made the parser experience much worse if using Enter would not have loaded a response (this was a criticism from DOL-OS, which now that I know how to fix, I really should do so...). *at least until the next Sugarcube update which will include a listener.

SugarCube has an input box, but doesn't have a bank of commands, or set object indicator (like with the parsers). While you can technically separate the inputed words with some JavaScript**, whether you do so or not will end with the same amount of spaghetti code at the end, with the different conditional statements for each actions on each screen to show the correct text bits (mine amounted to almost 600 lines of code for 7 screens... without included the printed text! -> see the source code). Now that I've messed around with Adventuron, I can see how easy it is to make a parser game (set up commands and rooms and interactive object), when you have a bank of built-in commands and not have to worry about how to add the new text on the screen. Twine really added a new layer of complexity to this.... Was there a better way of doing this? probably, but don't look at me to find it. *this was how the name chosenname command came to be, and how it only printed the chosen name on the following screens. That and the autofocus being messy...

SugarCube can add text bits to a page, but unlike parser programs, it won't automatically scroll down to the bottom of the page, or at least to the added element. Adding a scroll down to the bottom or scroll up to the page was not too hard (I had some leftover js code), but it was not the solution: the UI is mobile/tablet accessible (smaller screens), which means scrolling to the bottom would make those players having to manually scroll back up (and I am usually quite verbose in my writing). So very much EH.... NOT GREAT! After quite a lot of testing, broken pieces of code, way too much swearing, and re-doing the base of the UI, I did manage to find a solution.... a month into the review/voting period.

But even with those limitations, I pushed through. I knew it was possible to make it work, so I either tried to find work arounds (and gave up the scrolling, at least until the deadline), and pushed through, banging my head against my desk because of what was achievable...

LIKE BUILDING A WHOLE COMMANDS SYSTEM...

Wanting to make things easy for myself (and the players), I thought maybe removing all verbs would make it easier to go through the game, even when having to interact with objects or people around. Enter the bolded word* from the text as the input, press enter, and read the new text! *It was important for me to have some sort of "easy" mode where the interactive things were obvious to the player, coming from a scene where parsers are not the norm/favoured.

Simple right?

This idea... stopped working as soon as I introduced physical actions (sit, stand, jump, etc...), directional actions (the story might be linear but it still has multiple rooms), but most importantly as soon as I wrote flavour texts for one same object. Even if I could get away with removing X/LOOK/EXAMINE*, adding verbs at the end was a necessity (I didn't want to see all the already written variation go to waste...). *I did include look in the code, but mistakenly didn't think about its synonym <- shows the no-knowledge of parser, and not having a bank of commands built-in.

So verbs were added, and then some of its synonyms (but evidently not the most important ones 😬), and then some prepositions just in case, and noun synonyms with adjectives because of how it is described in the text, and then.... so on and so forth. And because of how SugarCube is set, I ended up with lines like this at the end:

<<if ["initiate", "look initiate", "look at initiate", "remember initiate", "initiates", "look initiates", "look at initiates", "remember initiates", "recall initiate", "recall initiates"].contains(_cmd)>>

(and this is not even a correct or complete command list, since it is missing EXAMINE and X)

Et rebelotte for all the interactive words on the page, as well as the added variations requiring another set other verbs. There's not really a verb/noun aliases list to help...

BUT WAIT

Because I always like to make it difficult for myself and not think of the amount of work my ideas/plan will require, I had to make some bits of text appear only once (even if some commands could be used more than once on that page) OR removing the player's ability to make a different action when they do a specific one AND have some bits of text only appear after a command has been used on that page. Pushing the player through extra invisible gates on top of the different rooms. I could have made it easier on myself to break scenes further than I had already done, but nooooooo

And I did this not just once. BUT THREE TIME! When the player is called to get in line, in the corridor, and just before the big doors.

I could have fed myself for a whole week with the spaghetti that came out of my code.

But Manon, I can hear the little devil on my shoulder say, Why all the whining and excuses? You could have stopped if it turned out to be a bad idea, especially if you couldn't implement it properly. Why not have made the story in something else than a parser?

Well...

because Time (wa)s running out and I wasn't going to let all this hard work go to waste by changing everything up at the last minute (it could have worked/been easier, that's true)

because it was still a fun puzzle to solve, even if frustrating most of the time,

because you learn more when you fail than when you win

I'm not a quitter :P (hiding my too many WIPs waiting for me....)

Even if I doubted myself with finishing the game on time, I still pushed myself to cross the finish line, since I knew I would not have finished the project otherwise. Thought it could have been fun to get the 12 angry men passing judgement on my Twine monstrosity making a mockery of parsers had I submitted it to the very serious ParserComp instead. /jk lovingly

So after some "extensive" testing (rushed in the last week, because I am a nightmare to people, sorry @groggydog and @lapinlunairegames for making you go through this, but also thank you for your help!!), I made it to the end!

Well... barely. Ended up with a few bug fixes update along the way.

4- The Reception

(it was like that in my heart)

Like TTTT, this was not explosion of praise and accolades. And I fully expected it. You can't make experiments omelettes without cracking a few programs/rules eggs. At least my omelette didn't have too many eggshells :P

Looking at the numbers, at the time of writing this posts, TRNT is currently sitting at 5 stars (4 ratings) on itch, and 3-1/2 stars on IFDB (2 ratings)*, with 4 reviews on the Forum (bellow the median/average this festival). None of the ratings game with reviews/comments. *When some of the reviews will be moved to the IFDB, I do expect this average to get lower. The itch one is nice (really happy 4 peeps loved it!), but most people only rate when they didn't like it or when they loved it.

As for the feedbacks gotten, they came from a few sources: the people who playtested TRNT, dms on Tumblr and the Forum, the Twine server, and the awaited reviews on the Forum.

Overall, the people who liked the game really enjoyed themselves, from the writing and the worldbuilding being intriguing, or how pretty the UI was. Even with the issues raised during the festival, quite a lot of people (who sent me comments) thought the experiment was either a success, something really cool, or impressive considering the limitations (of the festival and/or of the program). Even in the more critical comments, this experiment was seen as an interesting one to be commended (with a bit of a why did you bother... sprinkled in there). Someone told me TRNT reminded them of the Divergent series (and fair comparison, considering the whole ritual to put you in one job for the rest of your life).

The most surprising thing was that people who never played parser before (or didn't really liked them) found the game entertaining and fun to go through, managing to get to the end without too many issues; while the reviewers with more experience in the genre had a bit more restraints due to the command system I put in place.

Whether my giddiness about verbose writing was to the liking of the player or not, I was honestly happy comments about my grammar didn't make much of an appearance this time around (yay, progress!), and that I would get kudos for the vague story behind the experiment itself, and the structure of the story itself.

But this doesn't mean that it was all sunshine and rainbow here. TRNT had some obvious issues, which should have been squashed during the testing phase had this one been longer (yet again, me speed-running through comps when I should take my time... when will I learn...). There were two main ones: the commands and the UI.

The biggest issue came from the commands, being either unclear or confusing, especially when it came to the cardinal direction, the choice of synonym for the actions, or special actions like the name input. Even if you could go along the story with just a noun or press C until you reached the end, missing important verb commands did not help the game feel complete (EXAMINE/GET/the shortcuts). This is where having some Parser knowledge/experience would have come handy, he.... As for the cardinal directions, it was probably most confusing because I used them as synonyms for forward/back/left/right instead of N/S/W/E (that and it wasn't clear where you were able to go in the text either). Quite a few players were also getting stuck in the corridor (after you come to a stop, you hear some thing up front and your choices are to move to the side/jump or stand still). Special actions like the name input or the final choice were felt a bit off/broke immersion. Party due to the way SugarCube is, partly due to how I organised the game. Having a simple input where the player is asked for their name before the game start and have a say name command, might have worked better there. That and a better hinting system. Fix for those TBD.

Closely followed was the UI being annoying (which ;-; bc I pride myself on creating good UI, but it was fair critique), from the scrolling being an absolute ass, to the confusing bolding of the start of passages being the same as the interactive words (if you didn't change the colour in the settings), to the back/replay last choice command on the END screen not going to the right spot, or the responses of computing an inputted command not appearing/being confusing (in relation to the scrolling), some quirks with the UI being wonky for some screen sizes, etc... Thankfully, all those have been fixed.... but too late for the reviews already published. A quick revamp of the UI base + solving the scrolling issue + slight reformatting of the printed new text bits solved if not all of those issues. Still... too little too late... That's what you get for making a UI in a large screen and only checking different width but not different heights....

A SIDENOTE ON WHY PARSER AND NOT HYPERTEXT

Or me going a bit on a rant. Scroll down to pt 5- The Do-Over to resume coherent levelled conversation.

Still, making a parser a Twine was a CHOICETM, which didn't work for everybody. I don't know if it was because the game was put forth as a Twine game before being a parser, or because the story was maybe a bit too linear/not very interactive compared to other parsers, or because I set out to make a parser before thinking of a story and it showed for some, (or probably because the parser system was not very well implemented) but I did have a few commenters wondering if my choice of making it a parser was the correct one, as in why would you use parser when hyperlinks would have probably worked better?

Maybe a cop-out answer would be Why not. Why not try to break the rules and the codes of what is a Twine game or what is a parser? Why not push Twine to where it is probably not supposed to go (sorry, TME)? Why not blur the lines of the divides between the subgenres of IF? I wrote some part while having a bit of a fever, and my notes had Why not make parsers less puzzle-y/more linear choice-based like? and oh boi is it good to re-read yourself... Cause yiekes what a load of BS.

The other part of the answer is Because experimenting and doing weird thing is fun! Doing weird thing, writing bad code that should probably not work but it does, putting the program on a lifeline, making up stories that are nonsensical, etc... and breaking people's mind in the process with what could be done. Also it was just fun to find out whether it was just possible to do it at all. The rush of happiness when you the puzzle is solved is so incredibly gratifying. It was really fun to try something different (for me but also for what Twine can generally do), to solve a puzzle of mashing two things that don't/shouldn't go together, to find what makes them tick and make it all work, and to challenge myself to do something new (did I mention before it was my fist time making a parser?). AND, having fun creating! And the SpringThing has always been a beacon to promote experimentation with the genre and more out there stuff. So it's was kind of like the stars aligned or something :P

Also Because it was possible!That one is pretty self-explanatory...

Maybe a bit more presumptuous of me: Because experimenting keeps Interactive Fiction fresh and exciting! I'm not trying to set a trend or anything here (honestly, it's not too strange, TRNT's weirdness kind of follows my previous work with TTTT and its mixology element, or DOL-OS with it computer interphase), but isn't fun to see what else can be done in IF, or what new area can be explored now that funky stuff has been tried, or what else should probably not be done (hopefully this doesn't apply to TRNT lol, I think it should be fun to have more parser in Twine). Even if my entry was not really a novel idea even in the gameplay (exhibit A, exhibit B, exhibit C), I still think there should be more weird stuff out there, so I contribute to that where/when I can! It'd be sad if IF became same-y and stale... It'd be fun if someone did something like this because they played TRNT and thought it was neat :P

And Because it didn't fit with my original vision of the game. Even if the game changed quite a lot along the way, the parser element was something I would not compromise with, no matter how good or bad the final product was. Sorry TME for the kittens lost in the autofocus of the textboxes...

I did wonder for a while how many people opened the settings at all 🤔

5- The Do-Over?

Ha.

Haha.

Hahaha.

No.

Honestly... If I was going back to the start, I don't think I would change anything. Even if the length of the testing was more than minimal (still haven't learned my lesson), even if I rushed into the competition (again, not learned my lesson), even if I made errors along the way (well, maybe fixing the UI earlier instead) or let the story stray that much away from the original idea (honestly it was probably for the best that it ended not being too close to Aisle at the end, I might have gotten eviscerated in the reviews). It did what it was supposed to do, and checked all the boxes from what I wanted to try. At the end, to me, it was a complete (and stressful success).

Will there be some changes in the future?

Just a bit, at some point, TBD and TBA. Just to fix the commands a bit, maybe rearrange some passages, add a bit more variation/hidden codex entries, maybe even a new ending or two! But it wouldn't go further than that. TRNT was an experiment through and throuh.

==================== THE END ====================

Anyway, my weird hybrid beast of a parser in Twine and I are done rambling about my awesome show of tricks that may or may not have landed badly and with a broken skateboard. We will go collect our ribbons, now!

Make IF weird, Do word crimes, Have fun

I do wonder if me submitting the game in the Main Garden rather than at the Back Garden played into the expectations of the reviewers, since the BG is meant for more experimental IF. But in the same vein, there was the Kuolema running on a Google Form and people flocked to it so 🤷 It's probably the quality that made things the way it is whooooops :P

[katyspersonal]

sorry if the "use later" meant you weren't taking them now, but if you are : 6, 10, 25, 44, and maybe 50 ? (i don't remember you talking about a hunter of your own, so if not, general hcs about the protag ?)

Ahhh don't worry about this! I AM taking the asks, I am just stacking them for later because my ask answering habits are chaotic x)

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

6) League or Vilebloods?

This question gave me flashback on having made a reasonable point about why if Valtr and Bloody Crow have met, they'd experience the strongest wish to kill the other in their lives fhsdhfs I have a lot to say about the philosophy and goal of both covenants! To condense it as much as possible, I say Vilebloods, because they at least have the reasonable goal! They are a split from Pthumerians that felt entitled to crown a female monarch and carry the Child of Blood (who is a Great One on "their" terms)! Yes, they seek, consume and maybe even cultivate Human Dregs, but they have the vision of the new era... even if drenched in blood and sin.

League guys are battling the thing that can't be ultimately defeated - the evil within men, so their end goal would be destruction of life itself! I do feel bad for what the poor idiots took upon themselves, this is a twisted trap of existence, and they are sadly smarter. Burdened with something you are not SUPPOSED to get a glimpse of! But, Vilebloods have THE plan, I respect this more. (I also respect the ask meme's creator for pitting these covenants against each other, this is a very deep observation!)

10) Sexiest boss?

I am not so sure ;-; When it comes to sexual attraction, most of my preferences fall on NPCs and not bosses! I think Amygdala is the closest one to the definition! Maria, Micolash and Ebrietas are definitely up here, but in this case "sexyness" comes from the sense of "knowing" the character! With Amygdala I think it is more genuine in terms of appreciating the boss through this lence. It is not 'omg I am fighting THIS person 😳' but it is 'omg all these arms and tendrills 😳'!

25) Upper Cathedral Ward Y/N

I never, ever, ever, EVER want to see that STUPID fucking bitchass fucker Brainsucker in the long narrow hallway that keeps STUNLOCKING ME WITH its STUPID fucking spell EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN.

YEAH YEAH WHATEVER fshfhdsfs I always do this area anyways and I love its atmosphere and the sound, but it HURTS. I am also probably the only person alive who is struggling with Celestial fucking Emissary!!!! It is a love-hate relationship with this area, but I say yes because I physically can't bring myself to skip it!

^ Love the way it looks through sequence breaking, too!

44) Have you read any of the comics?

No, and I don't think I ever will be able to :') My country has some.... """issues""" with overseas merch to say the least fsdhfghfsd Granted, from what I've seen the comics IS awesome! It is exactly the way I want licensed products to be: instead of giving you lore on unexplored canon characters they add original characters, instead of shoving the lore answers onto you they respect the vagueness of the original and continue it... I always dreaded stuff for my previous fandoms such as official comics, infodrops through official Twitters, spin-offs etc that gave too much information because I don't like to cOnSuMe MoRe CoNtEnT uwu, I like enough space for speculation and imagination left! With Bloodborne comics, I could tell this is the case!

( x ) ^ This alone I respect very much! I love it when the writer has their own idea but doesn't hammer it down and leaves it up to the audience to figure it OR not. This IS how Miyazaki writes his own stories - he knows what the story IS, but won't straight up tell us XD This is what I loved about original Matrix trilogy - creators have had a certain idea in mind but the story was crafted in such a way that it was up to the audience to find it out, or even find their own interpretations! And this is why I refused to watch Owl House - I heard that the creator got super controlling and defensive about how audience """should""" read and feel towards the villain. I've sidetracked but I can tell from a mile that if I ever lay my hands on these comics it must be worth my time all things considered!

50) Tell me about your hunters!

Oh boy... I am a total 'Paleblood Hunter is not loreless' truther x) There IS a "canon" Paleblood Hunter character, unlike in the case of other Soulsborne games, and it doesn't let me get creative XD There is a guy with white hair and grey eyes that is probably a reincarnation of Laurence ( x ) , having ties with Cainhurst but also coming from the 'foreign country' that was a home of Brador ( x ) and like 80% of the Healing Church's staff!

This is tormenting me. This is eating me. I have such deeply-rooted insecurity about "bringing in something from myself" that @val-of-the-north has had to FIGHT me to keep my """irrelevant""" OCs for the fandom. xD And stuff like this perfectly nurtures that side of me, as I jealously watch every normal fan have fun with THEIR version of protag like:

Nonetheless, I actually DO have a Hunter that I love to use and recreate at any lost safe or restarted game! This is Rin!

Or Rena, or Rina.... something along these lines fhfhds I've first shared about her here ( x ), and since then not much about her changed! I still like the worst fucking backstory where her overly cautiousness at first made her kill one of like three sane people in the setting, the developing sense of justice and killing a person full of shit on the spot, the worst bloodtinge and absence of guns use etc!

The thing that changed is weaponry style! Now I got fixation on having every variant of Ludwig's Holy Blade (normal/arcane, bolt, fire, poisoned). So picture her having collection of the same sword but with different "element" XD I'll take more screenshots of her! Currently she has clouded eyes effect (fell victim of my experiments with Save Editing), I probably should fix it fdfdsfds But, yeah... I like playing as her! I tried to create 'default Paleblood Hunter' for male playable character and it didn't feel as satisfying as I thought it would!

[alexiethymia]

As promised, Death on the Ice Field

Nothing I say here will be new since the themes have been tackled plenty of times in fanfic (which I am so thankful for), but it’s still fun regardless. I feel like I usually have to put the disclaimer that this is a HitsuHina blog, because I think I will always have more to say about them.

Like Death on the Ice Field for example. It frustrates me the anime didn’t show Momo’s part here, because I’ve always believed that she was as crucial to Rangiku and Granny in setting up Toshiro on the path of a shinigami and meeting Hyourinmaru.

The way I see it, Momo was the spark, the impetus, Rangiku showed the way, while Granny allowed him to go. The special chapter, in my view, was all about awakenings or an awareness of change. It was Momo leaving which reminded Toshiro about things changing. It’s an allegory of sorts about growing up. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that perhaps this chapter also showed the start of his awareness of his budding feelings towards her (I mean there will always be naysayers and live and let live, but even without the relationship chart, I don’t think you’d blush at your sister or sister-figure no matter how close she was).

Another thing is how when he says Momo and Granny were the only ones never to be afraid of him, he says next that that’s why he likes Granny, but he doesn’t say the same of Momo. I’ve always thought Kubo excelled in his use of negative space, but that also applies to the dialogue-variant in that he seriously leaves a lot of things unsaid and interactions unexplored (Isshin reuniting with Rangiku and Toshiro, Kirio with Hiyori). It leaves a lot of room for interpretation and makes things fun for fans. Personally, I always read it as him being unsure of his feelings for Momo now, again something brought to his awareness with her leaving, a characteristic tsundere response if you could say.

He measures time by the number of years she entered the academy, and while she still smiles brightly at him - the same smile she graced him with five years ago - she no longer faces back (to Toshiro, Jurinan, take your pick) when saying goodbye the way she did the first time she left. And unlike five years ago where Toshiro just scowls and says she shouldn’t bother visiting anymore, this time he no longer keeps the pretense up, he waves back, though a bit limply because Momo doesn’t even see it, only facing forward, sure in her goal. (Be careful what you wish for and all that.)

So when Grandma says at the end that Toshiro didn’t want to make her lonely, it brings to mind what she said while scolding Toshiro that he shouldn’t say what he said because doesn’t Momo leaving make him feel lonely? He doesn’t deny it either, only pretends that everything is ok and that she’ll be back soon anyway. It’s also no coincidence, I think, that Granny wanted to talk to him right after Momo visited again. In other words, he didn’t want to make Granny lonely the same way Momo leaving made him feel lonely. But that theme of loneliness also applies to Hyourinmaru. Both sword and master would always feel lonely if Toshiro never discovered his name. And if you take Bleach Track 8 as canon (which I do because I love that Drama CD), there’s something to be said about Toshiro discovering Hyourinmaru’s name out of a desire to protect Momo, and Momo being the first to discover him discovering his shikai and subsequently calling him ‘Hitsugaya-kun’ without any prompting this time. In a way, it was a mark of growing up for Toshiro. That’s why there’s plenty of underlying themes between Hyourinmaru and Hinamori in relation to Toshiro that I love to see explored, which @rays-of-fire-and-ice does wonderfully in their fic! That theme of loneliness was also present in Momo during the Soul Society arc (and truthfully for a lot of characters) when she must have felt so isolated because of everything going on around her.

Laying it all out like this, you can really see the parallels with how Toshiro wakes up to both Momo and Rangiku, and how the line “I hear a voice” gets repeated for both Momo and his Granny. I don’t know how intentional Kubo really is with references to mythology, but it’s a fun coincidence to liken the three of them to the fates - Momo as the Maiden, Rangiku as the Mother, and Grandma as the crone - all pivotal to Toshiro’s path.

[bratspike]

if u dont mind me asking what do you like abt darklina? I didn’t read the books but the show just left me extremely meh/annoyed with them so I’m curious

this was an extremely dangerous question to ask me!!! the short answer is that there's a lot more to them in the books, true, but there's also a lot that even leigh leaves unexplored that is very juicy and compelling to me. mostly the fact that the darkling is the only person in the entire world who can ever understand what it's like to be her. and he wants to be her equal/confidant/king/ruler. the long answer is under the cut :)

the first thing to know about darklina is that leigh doesn't know what the fuck to do with them, the show knows even less. alina's entire character arc in books 2 and 3 are smashed together into season two, which is of course further split by the crows. so i can understand how even with benjamin putting his entire pussy into the darkling and his and jessie's insane chemistry you didn't really grab onto it.

my main gripe with the show above all else is also the main reason i fell in love with alina when i read the books for the first time, and subsequently the main reason i love darklina. something that happens by losing alina's first person pov in the show is we also lose a real exploration of her power and what it means to her/how she feels about it. in the books, aline's power is a living, changing thing inside her that she is in explicit dialogue with for the entire series.

alina and the darkling are both characterized by want ('wanting makes us weak') and for her it's an unnamed yearning that she lives with for her entire childhood, even when she and mal are in alignment. when he cuts her and releases her power, alina's wanting is answered. she describes it as a sense of completion, of surety. that's in part due to the darkling as an amplifier but it's also because she is finally connected to the core of herself. and then she loses control of it immediately. her struggles to connect with her power are much more important in the book and when she finally finds it we really get the alina thesis:

I closed my eyes, feeling tears slide down my cheeks, and I reached out to the thing within me that I'd kept hidden for so long. I'm sorry, I whispered to it. I'm sorry I left you so long in the dark. I’m sorry, but I'm ready now. I called and the light answered.... It surrounded me, blazing with heat, more powerful and more pure than ever before because it was all mine. I wanted to laugh, to sing, to shout. At last, there was something that belonged wholly and completely to me.

and she only wants more after this. she isn't a poor maiden getting her amplifiers, she's constantly fighting with the same temptation that she recognizes in the darkling. that push and pull and the fact that, as the darkling says over and over, he's the only one who has such a singular power and can therefore relate to her. it's compelling!!

and then there's the worst casualty of the book 2/3 combo which is cutting the attempted murder suicide at the end of siege and storm:

first of all if that's not hot to you then darklina just isn't for you and that's fine. but the want the hunger inside her the determination that this is her fate? all of it speaks so strongly to who alina is and who she becomes as she becomes more acquainted with her own power. and then hungers for more and more. and the man who can give it to her, but is also the only one who would hold her back. which brings me to the name reveal/real or not real moment/ultimate admission, which we are also robbed of in the show.

there is no general kirigan in the books. he is only ever the darkling or the black general. he only gives her his name in the last book, as a gift and a question and a hand reached out for her to take if she wanted.

like!!! they're meant to be each others' balance, they're meant to kill and be killed, to push and pull, to punish and forgive, to hate and love, to curse and worship.

i actually like their ending on the show better because in the books alina loses all of her powers entirely. shadow cut is way better. but either way he spent his life in search of a sun summoner, convinced that they'd be his salvation. his equal, his partner. and her life didn't begin until a shadow summoner reached inside her and showed her what she was. and they will never be apart. they will always be one, as alina herself says multiple times. i could literally go on forever.

finally, her very last line of POV in the entire series, even after she killed him, is about him (bonus first paragraph is his last words)

[theswifterhood]

Stranger Things 5 Theory/Prediction: The Importance of Max’s Letters.

So, i’ve been thinking a lot about season 5 over the last couple months, and how i think a lot of things left unexplored in s4 will come into play in the final season. Originally, when i made my ST4 bingo card before volume 2 dropped, i thought Max would end up in a coma (bingo!) and that her letters would be read aloud at the end of the season, much like Hopper’s at the end of ST3. Obviously that was wrong, but i still can’t help but feel like the Duffers would not have Max write letters that are clearly holding weight within her relationships and her life, and have it go nowhere. So, i’ve come to the conclusion that Max’s letters will play one of 2 purposes next season. I’ll be using clips from Avengers: Endgame, so if you haven’t seen that and want to avoid spoilers, here’s your warning. If you want to come back after watching, i’ll see you then. Here we go!

Theory 1:

I for one think that Max’s letter will be the post time jump motivation for the other’s returning to Hawkins. I think after they fail in the beginning of ST5, they’ll decide it’s hopeless and will let Vecna do his thing. More likely, they’ll think Vecna might be too weak to do anything and ignore Will’s tingle. Imagine Lucas or El, years later finding Max’s letter and deciding that they can’t just leave her there. Max loves them. She deserves to be fought for. Hawkins might not, but her and the rest of the world do. Think of the scene in Avengers: Endgame. Tony refuses to make the time machine until seeing a picture of Peter and realizing he’s worth saving. He’s worth the risk. (“I accept the risk” - Max, ST2)

Link to Endgame scene:

Alternatively, i think El could just not be strong enough, and she’ll have to go train w/ Owens. This leaves the characters going their separate ways until El is strong enough. I think El brings her letter from Max with her to Nina 2.0, and is motivated to carry on every day because of it. At some point she’ll be strong enough and ready to fight. Imagine some dialogue from El (or maybe even Lucas) when Max is revived to some degree, and El parallels Mike in ST2 (I called you everyday…), telling Max that she never read her letter, because she knew she wasn’t gone. This would be so sweet #elmaxrights. Max’s letters can’t be for nothing. Now i bring you to the less fluffy alternative.

Theory 2:

Since i believe the letters must have value, but i know the Duffers don’t believe in fan service and the executives at Netflix cried over the ending pitch, i feel the need to acknowledge the very real possibility that Max may die in the end. I’ve said before that Max is the only character (in addition to Hopper) that i believe is safe from death. This is mainly because she’s died before and it would be repetitive. But, seeing as she’s the only character who has written a letter (that we know of. Looking at you Mike.) and in that letter she addresses her death, i think it’s possible her letter will be read aloud by Sadie over the final moments of the show. This would be similar to the end of ST3, but more-so like the end of Avengers: Endgame. In the end, Tony dies saving Peter and the other half of the universe, but not without the last word. He has preemptively left a goodbye message in the event of his death. It is played over shots of various characters happy after the war, and people celebrating victory. His letter also addresses “not being alone”, something that Max’s Dear Billy letter also does. I will also say that in a true parallel, El would be the one to die saving Max (Would parallel the end of ST1, and Tony’s sacrifice.) However, I don’t think El would write a letter. I could be wrong though. The only other character i can see this going down with would be Mike. He is a writer after all. He could (in the context of flickergate, and him going in the UD to save Will) write a letter admitting how he feels and addressing that if he dies he had the time of his life fighting dragons with you (😉) (you being Will + the party?). This wouldn’t be revealed til the end of the season, giving the Duffers, Netflix, and the homophobic GA/Milevens an out to a byler kiss or full on acknowledgement of it the rest of the season. This is my least favorite outcome. I hope you guys find this as interesting (and tragic, a word used to describe the end) as i do. Here’s to more theories over the next 2ish years! Happy New Year!

Link to the end of Endgame:

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 16- Part 4

I remember, we go back up north and to the right and then-

OOOOH!~ Further proof of how blessed this area is! And I have a Net Ball, this is perfect!

First, some precautions. Paralysis!

And then damage it with Decibel and Bite!

And now we deploy the Net Ball!

Now, as for what to name it…oh, I know!

Monarch! Mostly for Vivillon, not only because butterflies, but because I’m sure those Shiny-colored wings are going to look magnificent.

So now, we continue onwards…

Yes…at last, we meet again! And this time, you’re not avoiding me!

Now let’s see what this next PULSE is going to be-

Oh my gosh, this process is literally killing the poor thing! That’s what happens when your organs stop, because they’re not supposed to do that! It’s practically a zombie at this point!

…Wait- if this is the end of the purification process, why is this Tangrowth labeled with “A”, and the early-stage one was “C”? Shouldn't it be the other way around if it’s a sequence? Not only are they trying to co-opt Team Rocket’s motto, but the Meteors also don’t know the alphabet! Outrageous!

But as for how to actually fight this thing…well, its Defense is already really good, and Stamina will make it even better. So what I’m getting from this is that we wanna attack it with Special moves instead of Physical. It’s typing also reminds me of Cradily…but unlike back then, we’ve got a Pokémon that won’t immediately die to Grass or Rock attacks! And uses Special moves! So Crater’s gonna be key for this.

Anyways, heading back and continuing to the right to find anything still unexplored, and…well, it’s the same dead end as before, but here’s something I didn’t notice last time.

Standing right up to the vine or root like this, and if you look all the way to the upper right, you can actually see the PULSE machine, somewhat. So close, yet so far…

But now…well, I really am kinda at a loss for what to do now, or at least where to go next. I’ve been everywhere I could go, and everywhere else is blocked off in some way. But that can’t be all there is to this place, there’s still that one tree we need to cut down! So what’s next? Maybe I really do need to go to that one house…? But it’s nowhere near the PULSE or the tree, so how would that help? Do I actually need to look at the Rhodochrine Jungle map to find out where to go next???

No, no- maybe if I just look at my screenshots and commentary from the last part, maybe I’ll spot something I missed. Lemme see- 

(A few moments later…)

So, there is one place I didn’t actually look at yet, and I sorta forgot about it until now. Another staircase in the Underroot- this one, by the white Poké Ball item!

So this has to lead to the Cut tree, right? There’s literally no other place to look, as far as I’ve been able to tell.

Is that…an alternate exit from the jungle? I mean…it’s not exactly what I was looking for, but it’s still something new, so there’s no use ignoring it.

Oh- this must be the half of Beryl Ward we couldn’t get to before because the roads were all blocked by vines. Hello, new street sign!

“Little Poe”? Man, they’re really stretching for some of these street names now- 

So it looks like there’s really only two places to see, this one pink building and something to the left.

And this rock with a bottle of vitamins.

I’ll check out this pink building first, assuming we can even go inside of it.

We can! Fancy-looking building, lots of bookshelves…is this a library?

But speaking of the bookshelves, I see a TM up there- there must be a way to parkour up on the shelves then, right?

OH HECK! Field Effect Read-Out! Now I really wanna parkour on the bookshelves! Can’t really do that from down here, though- but there are some stairs over there!

Yeeeah, broken railings save the day! This is definitely a safe thing to do!

Incredible. Now we use the stairs on the other side to get on the bookshelves on that side, and then…!

I’m sorry- “Corrosive Field”? I…greatly dislike the sound of that! But it sounds very similar to that Corrosive Mist field I remember being mentioned with regards to Misty Terrain, so…are they related? Corrosive Field, Corrosive Mist…still don’t like the sound of either of those.

But anyways, there are a few doorways too, so…well, we’re on the right side, so might as well investigate the one on the right first.

Oh, hello Growlithe! What’s this guy doing here? Is there a police officer nearby? There’s still one more to find, after all.

Well, we’ll interact with it after I pick up this item here.

A WHAT NOW?? Pardon me??

WHAT. What purpose could this possibly serve?? Okay!! I guess we just…have this now!! That’s cool!

Okay, that’s…interesting. I swear, if Xera ends up falling down this hole just like she got sent down the Nuzleaf pitfalls, I’m going to throw myself into a centrifuge-

Previous

Next

[just-my-thoughts-about-stuff]

Help me understand Persephone’s sexuality

Please don’t spoil fastpass chapters!! Or at least warn me it’s a spoiler at the top of your comment!!

So, I need to start by saying I’m a hardcore asexual and sometimes have trouble understanding how allos experience sexuality. I’m making this post so that you guys can help me out. Forgive my ignorance and naïveté.

Persephone’s views towards sex in the latest chapter seemed rather contrary to how I understood them before. The lines I put above honestly seemed very out of character for her to me. (But I think it’s more likely I’m just not understanding her sexuality).

I think this post I made quite a while back explains well how I saw her view of sex in the past.

I was under the impression that she was absolutely sexually attracted to Hades, yes, and wanted to have sex with him, yes…but there were a lot of mental issues standing in her way—and affecting her view of sex in general. Her sheltered upbringing, her status as a member of TGOEM, and of course…what Apollo did to her…

Having sexual arousal and attraction doesn’t automatically equal “I’m going to die if I don’t have sex soon.” …Does it?

For someone with no shame around sex in their upbringing, and with no sexual trauma, it certainly might equal those things, yeah…but it sounds very strange to me to hear those things coming so blatantly out of Persephone’s mouth.

From my understanding, sex is still in essence a new and unexplored thing for her. The only other sexual encounter she’s had left her thinking (something along the lines of) “Is this how it’s supposed to feel? …This just hurts.” That to me doesn’t equal someone (who hasn’t had a good sexual encounter since) proceeding to go on and on about how much they want sex—even if it’s been 10 years. That equals “I’d very much like to have sex with this man I love. But I’m scared. Will it be like before? Or will it be as amazing as everyone says it is?” That feels more in-character for Persephone to me.

I understand that it’s been 10 years. But is 10 years with no (as far as I know) positive sexual experiences enough to go from “I’m sexually attracted to him, I want to have sex...but I’m scared” to “I’m going to die if I don’t have sex soon”? Maybe it is…but to me personally it felt out of character to read. Her words just seemed so extreme. Maybe it’s just that I feel like I wasn’t taken on that 10 year journey, so I’m still viewing her like her old self, when she’s changed.

I know she said it was bravado, but I don’t think that means her words were untrue. It felt like her words were true, but that she’s also not completely over the trauma too. (Basically that I’m thinking her trauma would affect her view of sex more than it does—in canon it still affects her, but not as much anymore). Am I misunderstanding? Was she just saying that to mask her real feelings completely? Why would she do that?

It seems like the coming chapters might discuss her trauma in more depth, and that might answer my questions. Which is great. But…still. That doesn’t change that she said these things.

I don’t understand how she became, not just unafraid of sex, but desperately wanting it and shamelessly talking about it in public. Her wanting it is in character, yes, but her level of—not just positivity towards the subject, but—desperation and shamelessness seems contrary to how I understood her character, and how she viewed sex, previously.

Please help me understand what I’m missing

[kustas]

i know it's not like. your thing. but i figure we were all 13 once. do you have any thoughts on naruto? me and a friend of mine often bemoan how rich that story is in threads that are left completely unexplored in favor of your average shonen nonsense. like, for a story centered around child soldiers and mutually assured destruction, the story really isn't very interested in child soldiers nor the magical nukes

you're wrong actually for the first part! while i did get to read a bit of naruto as a preteen it was only the first volumes - my most important naruto experience was reading the full series about three years ago as a grown adult. and while i have a lot to criticize about it it's a case where i absolutely get the appeal. naruto is this popular for a reason. it's engaging, fun, and imo the artwork is amazing. an iconic manga/anime! there's so many cool elements from that manga and it's such a good shonen doing shonen things, taking you on a big scale adventure with a bunch of guys in a fantasy land with good concepts.

naruto falls apart for many different reasons too and the ones you mention consist of a sort of fatal flaw. the thing with these shonen anime with large scale warfare and 12 yo protagonists is you have to pick between two sides - taking the matter of their involvement in the conflict and its implications seriously (à la HxH) or not giving a shit about the logic of it all and just being there for fun (à la Soul Eater). naruto is constantly switching between the two, ass between two chairs as would say my mother, and this lack of commitment does a huge disservice to the writing.

naruto for starters, the guy not the series, is a very engaging character. he's an attention hogging menace of a kid who's willing to be a little shit if it means getting the spotlight, later revealed to be because no one cares for him. kids hate him for being weird and unpleasant and adults hate him for being a living reminder of a wartime disaster that gave their generation widespread ninja PTSD. this is not only a great concept but something I believe was the recipe to success for the character because a lot of the anime target audience would see themselves in that lonely weird kid. that touching backstory and layers to his personality go absolutely nowhere very quickly... because it's not exactly compatible with fun ninja school fighting shenanigans. or it could be but kishimoto is not a good writer.

many characters from naruto have similarly interesting backgrounds or quirks who go absolutely nowhere. there's multiple reasons for this but it gets especially annoying when the story switches back to dead serious So Deep monologuing about its serious topics, mostly trauma, and doesn't satisfyingly explore any of the issues. this is for characters but behind these character decisions there is worldbuilding and this is where i believe one of the big flaws of the series shines through: i think what it went for cannot be solved satisfyingly because the author's politics fucking suck.

the child soldiers, nukes and mutually assured destruction are pointed to as bad things, and their origin is explained, but their resolution must go through the magical mind filter of kishimoto which has a few rules set to it. as an adult who's not very involved into the interpersonal drama of the characters or the power scaling magic attacks you start noticing these patterns. people's actions have consequences, but a bad character's badness can be forgiven if they apologize nicely. nations can be cruel and start wars but they cannot be dismantled. revolution isn't the solution, coming to an agreement is. there's more too ofc. characters who's thoughts break those rules mean they are acting badly. this means that if breaking those rules is the solution to a problem it can't be solved normally and you get weird or unsatisfying endings to plot threads.

speaking of plot threads - boy, there's too many. I'm no fan of big series so that's a biais, but naruto has a cast of hundreds and present way too many locations and stories to satisfyingly deal with them. ask someone their top naruto characters and if you're like me who's only casually a fan you'll have to google two of them because you simply don't remember the guy. it's fine to not elaborate on your side plots but the main ones are just not appealing enough to carry it for me, as most of them either go for ridiculous amounts of powerscaling, abort their conclusion, or both.

so you end up with small moments, mini arcs or side characters who fascinate you drowned in a sea of war stories that don't want go talk about war too much and filler moments with an endless cast you might not give a shit about. there's no real overarching thread or "curve" to the intensity of the story. it's a writing that takes itself too seriously but when given the spotlight fails to elaborate.

second most iconic ninja in chief sasuke uchiha also represents this inequality well. he starts off as a tropey rival, enjoyable role for what he is in a juvenile pure entertainment sort of way. the story builds up on his tragic background, making you take him much more seriously as he gets roped in a weird kidnapping political mess, as a child. when you're already sat down for this more mature story he just fucking vanishes to come back here and there giving out villain speeches and doing sparse actions too far apart to leave your interest on. at this point his personality is unclear. it slowly starts clearing up and he becomes interesting again as his motivations are explained and you start getting answers to what caused his backstory in the first place. with these answers come a side serving of uncomfortable political biais from the author. and when you get to know all of his motivations explained it's to portray him as a bad guy who's making sense but guys he's still bad! and then fights happen with big anime magic and he agrees with the main character and marries trope girl from arc one. no consistency in highs or lows or even story presence which makes him hard to be enjoyed as a character...

i don't really have a good way to conclude this. tbh kishimoto neither which is why he threw aliens in and now sasuke is fighting dinosaurs

[ginger-snaps014]

This is why fandom cannon and show cannon are NOT considered the same thing hahaha! Like imagine if you somehow avoided Harry Potter your entire life, then meet the only the fandom versions haha! The fandom lets

Trans/gender fluid characters be accepted and magically express themselves b/c they are a Metamorphmagus (and can change their body at will) by using polyjuice potion. She-who-must-not-be-named would never permit that. There are loads of actual gay characters. Not just called gay after the fact. There is a million stories with the marauders that non-cannon people would not realize we only met as adults/dead. Sympathetic slytherins in general and great Draco redemption arcs. More characters have melanin, disabilities, etc.

In my opinion fandoms aren’t annoying, they are adding something that is lacking from the the original. Usually representation. Most rainbow stories I have read are fanfics. Being exposed to those stories allowed me to be more aware, accepting and empathetic towards real people. That’s important. If certain fandom tropes become super popular, you can see exactly where traditional media failed, needs to be updated, or left unexplored. When the mainstream media fails, the fans step up.

Plus, a ton of respected media is in fact a fanfic - usually an AU - of an older piece. West side story is Romeo and Juliet in 1950s America. Paradise Lost is Genesis from the Bible but with character depth. Clueless is Emma in the 90s. She’s the Man and 10 things I hate about you are Shakespeare 90 AU. Hook is Peter pan but adult. So forth and so on. Not to mention Disney. Whether it’s backed by a budget and done by professionals or done in someone’s basement, retelling and changing a preexisting story with popular recognition, characters, plot, etc. is creating a new version on the back of existing media. Negating the value of one makes little sense. They are doing the same thing. You just wade through a lot more bad/unfinished fanfic to find the jewels.

So ya some of the changes can confuse those who never interacted with the original. But there is a reason they engage with the fandom and not the original.

[pazodetrasalba]

An other letter

Dear Caroline:

I have been reading the supporting letters that were made for you and sent to Judge Kaplan by friends and family, giving context about you and asking for some lenience in sentencing. They make a very wholesome read, not only for their intentions, but for the way in which they illustrate facts and facets of your true self that have been obscured and distorted in the media and the court of public opinion. It is also comforting to see that an essentially good and virtuous person at the core like yourself has many persons willing to stand up and speak even if it can expose them to opprobrium and hate.

When some months ago I learned of the possibility of sending letters to the court asking for leniency, I was tempted to write one myself, but after giving it a lot of thought and reading about the topic, I decided against it on the grounds that it might be counterproductive, as I have no personal knowledge of you, and the last thing in the world I would like to do is anything that could affect you negatively. Still, if I had written it, it would have been something along these lines:

Your honor:

My name is Manuel and I am a language teacher in Spain. I have never been personally acquainted with Ms. Ellison, and in fact only discovered about her existence through the popular press, about a month after the collapse of Alameda and FTX. Since then, though, I have been following her case with interest, an interest that got started with a certain degree of indignation at the horrible way she was being treated in the public arena, and that was transfomed substantially when I found access to the blog that Ms. Ellison had been writing for many years.

You would be right in thinking that my bare interaction with the ghost of her departed thoughts does not make for a very knowledgeable source about Ms. Ellison's character and personality. And yet I would say that Ms. Ellison's long writings, which I have closely read more than once, really bare many aspects of her soul and character which would profit anyone who wants to know her better. In those words one can detect an intelligent, good, generous and moral person, intensely keen in making the world a better place and in giving herself wholeheartedly to that goal. You can also come to terms with a degree of youthful naiveté and some deep, emotional insecurities that left her open to the abuse and manipulation which ended up with Ms. Ellison tragically walking down a dark path so at odds with her character, potential and inclinations.

I have had no personal or direct interactions with Ms. Ellison, but I can guarantee your honor that she has been a force for good in my personal life, and had a positive impact. After reading her blog and reflecting about many of the philosophical issues it touches, I decided to become more familiar with the ideas of giving more and giving effectively, and assuming more moral responsibilities towards others. Since then, I have been annually donating 5% of my income to effective charities and will probably increase the amount to 10% in the near future. This would most likely never have happened had I not learned and read Ms. Ellison's jottings and reflections.

The future is an uncertain and unexplored country, but to the degree that it can be mapped, I am really certain that Ms. Ellison has the will and the skill to do much good in the world, and if given the chance, will do so to a very high degree. I do not minimize whatever crimes she was involved in, but am completely convinced both of her deep and permanent repentance, non existent risk of recidivism and immense potential. This is a person I would trust from now onwards with a big chunk of what I own, and would gladly be made guarantor of hers and feel honored in being allowed to do so.

It is human to make mistakes, and some are so big as to be irreparable to some degree. You can be sure that Ms. Ellison will, given the chance, spend the remainder of her days living up to her fallings. And yet she is young, and has such an immense potential for atonement and for leaving at the end a positive mark on the world. I humbly beseech that she be allowed to do it, in a way that will benefit society much more than having her behind bars. Ms. Ellison is destined to carry a badge of shame and penance for the rest of her, hopefully, long life. And I am certain that like her literary counterpart, Hester Prynne, she will turn it with time into a badge of honor.

Best greetings,

M.

[tarnishedxknight]

Thank you so much for answering my questions, Silence! You don’t need to thank me for reading that, I love to write so whenever someone explains why they love to do so as well, I like to sit down and read it. Writing is a different process for everyone, so it’s always interesting to learn what moves other people to do it, and since you wrote about your own process I was like “📠?? 📠!!” (Just pretend that’s a typewriter ok idek what that emoji is supposed to be.)

Oh I understand why you would mourn the ability to create original writing, that’s why I said you could try with shorter stories. Omg no, not every story has to be 4-5 pages. Some of them may be 10 pages, 20 pages, 30 pages, depends on how many pages I need to develop each story. What I mean is that you could try with much shorter ones at first since you struggle with original writing, and so do I, until your brain picks up the pace, creatively speaking, and then make ‘em longer. It’s okay to know one’s limits and focus on easier things until we’re ready to push those limits, especially when it comes to creating. And if I think a short story has potential, I can include it anyway but still work on developing it as a novel one day.

I’m so glad you’re considering it! It’s helping me so I thought it could help you as well. Since you asked how to do that with a verbose style, I try to focus on events instead of entire journeys. This could translate to still using a verbose style to narrate something brief, like a group of drunken young folks who leave a club late at night and stumble across a powerful vampire/werewolf/monster who proceeds to slaughter them. It’s a short, horrific event, not a journey. What works for me is writing stories that are completely independent from one another in a way that a person could read the last story on the book first, and it wouldn’t change how they read the others. Try what works for you. The collection of stories that different characters tell to this girl who is a writer sounds pretty good and it’s really sweet, maybe try working on that if you can!

We have stories in us and they want to get out. Sometimes we will create them from scratch, sometimes they’ll be the untold stories of canon characters whose movies left a lot of things unexplored. But at the end of the day, to tell stories is to create and that’s pretty cool.

__________

{out of dalmasca} You’re very welcome, and thank you for asking them! It was fun to talk about my whole process. I haven’t really done that in a number of years, so it was interesting to see where my head was at after not thinking about those kinds of things for a long time. And I always love to hear how other writers develop their craft. I went to so many writing panels back in the day at GenCon to hear how other writers do certain things and how they approach certain scenes or topics. It was really interesting and it helped me to grow as a writer in the end.

I do think your suggestion of trying to write some short stories is a good one. Starting small might help me get back into the habit again. Trying to write an event instead of a whole journey is great advice, heh, because I always think I have to write something epic and that’s just not the case. I have in recent years tried to do the whole NaNoWriMo thing, but I never got very far into any of my ideas. But maybe even that’s too big of a project right now. I’ll think about it and try some things. And if nothing else, I always write here on this site, which I’m enjoying very much. =)

Omg we do all have stories in us. And I always tell people, whether you write one page or thousands, just write! Get it out, express it, do it! I think it’s a wonderful hobby to have, but then again, I’m really biased. XD

[spikeinthepunch]

i was blabbing on my priv twit about SU and i still have more thoughts but i am putting it under a cut so you must choose to read it, and it you do dont be stupid about it <3 if you follow me and want to bring up old ass SU discourse you should leave. i am looking back and appreciating this show

i have noticed some ppl watch SU who havent before watch it now, and its nice seeing a number of folk be like "why were people discoursing about this?? its just a good kids show" which is totally 100% true, tho i hope ppl watching it are also aware of like.... how important that show was/is-- not even just for its LGBT rep but its story IS serious/has a lot of depth and does teach some very unexplored themes, and lessons.

people were overly serious and heated about the show in a way that was like "i expect these things because it already did [serious thing]! why arent they doing this!" but you cant deny the show dove into some serious territory and wildly out there themes that kids shows werent doing at all. the show was plot focused and it took all kinds of twists and turns- no one should be mistaken about that, its just that adult fans were stupid about it.

and alongside newer watchers talking about the show i still see a lot of it followed with "...but i know its flawed!" which like. yes, also true. but i think something i notice with that is that it feels like anyone going to watch the show has to put up a defense of like "i know i said the show is good BUT i need to say its flawed or else people will get mad and assume i think its perfect". and lets be real. what show is gonna be perfect? none really, but we dont say that for like... every other show we go to talk about. why do you have to put a disclaimer when talking about SU?? as if it almost feel required when talking in spaces where ppl may have Opinions about it, bc the fandom was often so toxic. its definitely because SU fandom still left that impression of constant discourse, and not recognizing its flaws meant (to them) that you endorsed all kinds of things that could be "bad" about it.... i really dont think its worth saying at all nowadays if we want to detach from the fandom 'that was'.

anyone who watches can gladly come to their own conclusion about that, but in the end i think many now wont have such a big impression about whether or not its flawed because it is a kids show, you know? wasnt that the point of revisiting it today? being softer on it than the rabid 2016 tumblr fans? i think many do feel that way, not affected by the fandom, but in the end i just find it important to not feel the need to validate those who would assume the worst out of something you never stated.

i mostly voice this because again, it kinda sucks seeing a lot of talk just be about new watchers surprised the fandom was so toxic because the show its just a nice kid show. cartoons as media isnt often (or at all) regarded in long history and its a shame because i think more and more people forget SU paved the way for so much, for so many shows and cartoons especially. and i think its really worth talking about SU without feeling the need to mention its "flawed" because even then i think the fandom really heightened/exaggerated those flaws.

its well written and it most definitely threw in lessons and feelings and explorations of things id never seen before that even as a not-child age was very important to see. honestly dont know what i would be like if i hadnt seen that show, and i wasnt a child and i took it seriously, and you should to some extent! you wouldnt be the same as those adults who got into discourse. its normal to have cared about that show.

basically i hope people dont forget those important as time goes on, and i think it is important to also seperate the 'stupid adult fan' from the expression and closeness to any peice of media on can have even if its a cartoon. its been a hot topic more and more to talk about adults enjoying kids shows- some more harsh and strict than others. i know its expected people will remember a shitty fandom but SU isnt even a bad show either. id hardly say its mediocre even for the ppl who dont care for it, bc it could still erase/take away focus from how it affected LGBT shows going forward and that alone is very important! idk where to end this now but i just had feelings. i detached from the fandom like in the middle of the show (or at least just stopped looking directly in spaces like tumblr) and i kind of missed any opinions ppl started forming but all i see now is a lot of recognition for the fandom being bad but not a lot of deeper discussion of what the show did in the end. there is so much to say about the show from a meta context and the development it had as well.