#there are a few things bout it that i dont like that much anymore

[aria0fgold]

Also btw, I can't see my own posts too.

I'm literally shouting into the void.

[amsznn]

Hey can you do one where the reader has a crush on Matt.She is very much giving heart eyes and tries to do anything to make him happy.Matt being oblivious complains to his brother about it.Nick and Chris smack some sense into him saying how lucky he is to have someone like us care about him.Matt disagrees and the reader hears this causing her to stop not wanting to make him uncomfortable.Matt misses the way things use to be and gets jealous when learning the reader is going out on a date.At the end they have an argument and he tells her how he really feels.Lots of angst in the beginning fluff towards the end please!!

OVERBEARING - m. sturniolo

warnings: slight cursing, angst at start, fluff at the end

-

you couldn’t deny it anymore. and you dont think it went unnoticed either.

the lingering gazes, to the more than normal laughter at his jokes, or the constant acts of service. how you were willing to do anything for him. just him.

matthew sturniolo.

you thought your constant need to be near him was just you wanting to be better friends. that was until your feelings started growing stronger.

“y/n, helloo.”

you brought your attention to the voice you found yourself loving so much.

“sorry, what?”

“i asked if you could pass the remote.” matt repeated while settling down beside you on the couch. you nodded and reached over to grab the remote to hand it to him. it was around 1 AM, and it was just the two of you. nick and chris had went to their rooms while you and matt decided to watch a movie.

“want me to get you a blanket?” you whispered as matt stared at the screen to the opening of the movie.

“no, im good.” matt says. you nodded and turned your head towards the movie. about five minutes or so passed when you asked another question.

“hungry?”

“nope.” matt responds, adding a ‘pop’ to the p to exaggerate his response. you mumbled an ‘okay’. a few beats of silence passed before once again, you asked.

“are you sure-”

“y/n, please m’ just trying to watch the movie in peace.” matt sighed. he was getting frustrated by the second. after a long day of filming with his relatively loud brothers, the only sounds he wanted to hear were the actors on the tv.

but this was only one example of your persistence. you were always clung to matt’s side. following him like a lost puppy at all times.

always there to cook him up a meal after his long day, willing to do any of his chores that he just didn’t feel like doing, even soothing him to sleep on those tough nights where everything went blank.

nick would sometimes make fun of matt. it almost seemed like you were his mother with the way you acted. but thats not what you were trying to come off as. you simply just had a lot of love for the boy that you weren’t really ready to confess yet.

but for matt? he didn’t see your clinginess as a good thing, in fact he began to hate it once nick pointed it out.

on one particular day matt decided to bring it up to his brothers while they were in nick’s room.

“i just don’t get it, like she’s just always there.” matt says while pacing around the room.

“is that a bad thing?” nick asks while organizing the clothes in his closet.

“i mean it wouldn’t be if she didn’t act like im some sort of child.” matt sighed while plopping down at the edge of the bed.

“i dunno, i’d love to have someone like y/n. she literally does everything for you bro.” chris laughs while slightly nudging matt.

“yeah..” nick yells from his closet. “don’t know why you’re bitchin’ bout it she’s literally helps you with like…” nick took a pause to think. “everything!”

matt scoffs before shaking his head. “yeah well it’s nice before it gets fucking unbearable.”

unbeknownst to matt, you could hear this whole conversation. you had came to drop off some food for the triplets, and since you had an extra key you went straight in. now you would’ve made yourself known until you realized you were the topic of their conversation.

to say you were hurt from matts words was an understatement. you quickly rushed out of the house, tears streaming down your face recounting every scenario where you were overbearing.

-

hours turned into days and days turned into weeks. matt hadn’t heard from you in a while. he expected to wake up to your daily morning texts, but nothing. after he shrugged that off he expected you to come over like you usually did. but once again, you didn’t.

he found himself longing for your presence more than he ever did.

you both went no contact until you came over, seeking nicks assistance since you had a date that night in hopes that your little crush on matt would subside.

you had went the whole time without speaking to the brunette. opting for a simple ‘hey’. matt was confused. why were you suddenly so distant? sure he wanted space at times but this is not what he had in mind.

matt finally snapped when you attempted rushing out their house, bidding matt goodbye with a meek ‘see ya’.

matt rose from his spot on the catch before making his way towards you. “are you gonna tell me what’s going on, or are you gonna keep avoiding me?” matt said while crossing his arms on his chest.

you could only roll your eyes before slipping your shoes on. “i dont know what you’re talking about, but i have to go.” you spat harshly before spinning on your heel.

“woah, what’s up with you?” matt yelled, shocked at your sudden anger towards him. he pulled you back by your wrist so you could face him.

“y’know if you found me ‘overbearing’ you could’ve just told me.”

thats when everything came back to matt. instant regret washed over him as he gazed upon your solemn expression. the same eyes that used to hold so much adoration for him now hollow.

“i’m so sorry y/n. i know theres no excuse to what i said but i was just being stupid.” matt sighed while running a hand down his face. “you’re far from overbearing, in fact i...i really miss you.”

“really?” you mumbled while your facial expression softened. matt nodded before embracing you in a tight hug to which you reciprocated by wrapping your arms around his waist. your date long forgotten.

“you’re amazing the way you are, and im sorry if i made it seem any other way.”

you smiled at matts words before leaning up to look at him. “just tell me next time, okay?” matt smiled and lightly pecked the side of your temple. happy to have finally gotten you back.

the version of you he loved.

and the version of you he would always cherish.

-

A/N: sorry this should’ve came out yesterday but i had to study for an exam. i have also been experiencing writers block but i have a new matt series in mind so stay on the look out for that!

tags:

@junnniiieee07 @tillies33ssss @whore4matt @stellarsturns @summerl986 @inveigledvex @beccaluvschris @stingerayyy2 @bunnysturns @braindead4l @vickyzloserz @sturnzsblog

[tkaulitzlvr]

(da du pingelig bist)

tom laying with reader on the sofa, bill and tom start arguing, tom walks out into his car, reader then follows and gets in his car, hes all gripping the steering wheel, they talk about it, after he smirks and gets in the back and reader follows, sitting on his lap. he takes his anger out on her and they fuck hard, windows get all steamy and hes gentle after. dont forgot his whines and stuff, just like we talked bout

dankeschön meine schönes madchen💋

COOL OFF - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: after a heated argument with bill, tom decides to go and sit in his car for a while to calm down. you eventually join him, things taking an unexpected turn after the two of you talk about what happened.

content: smut (what else do u expect from my page anymore LMAO)

a/n: hope u all enjoy!!

“you were the last person to see the fucking guitar bill. i swear to god if you’ve broken it.” tom’s voice begins to raise as his eyes shoot daggers to bill from across the room. he is sprawled out across the couch with his arm draped loosely around my shoulder from behind as i sit beside him, silently watching the argument unfold. it had started as a normal conversation, tom bringing up that he had told bill to put one of his guitars away, though it soon turned sour when bill insisted that he didn’t know what tom was talking about. their voices begin to raise louder and louder, the hot-headed sides of them emerging faster than ever before. tom still sits beside me, a bottle of soda in his spare hand, his thumb rubbing soft circles onto my arms despite the harsh tone of his voice.

“tom i’ve told you i don’t know where your fucking guitar is.” bill, clearly the more rational of the two, calmly reminds his twin brother, his voice much quieter than tom’s as his hands rub over his temples, his body lazily walking over to the fridge as he grabs a bottle of water from it, returning back to the couch opposite.

“god i can’t trust you with anything, can i? do you have any idea how much that guitar cost?” any composure within tom’s voice is now long gone, his hand clenching the glass bottle in his left hand and slamming it on the table in front of us forcefully.

“maybe if you looked after your things yourself this wouldn’t happen! i’m not your slave tom, it’s not my job to look after your shitty guitars.” bill rolls his eyes, taking a swig of water before eyeing tom as he removes his arm from my shoulder.

“where are you going?” i mumble as he stands up, his gaze dark, though it falters momentarily when he hears my voice, soft and calm as i look upward at him.

“i just- i need to cool down. i’ll be in my car.” he squeezes my thigh before turning his gaze to bill once again. he takes a few steps closer toward bill, pointing a finger angrily at his chest. “you better find that fucking guitar bill, i swear to god.”

and with that, he storms out of the room, slamming the door harshly behind him, leaving nothing but a bitter atmosphere in place of his presence. i sigh loudly, tapping my foot quickly against the ground, hating to see tom upset, especially when it is because of a stupid argument with his brother. i would usually feel bad for bill, but this time he seems completely unbothered, muttering something in german under his breath before returning his attention to the small television in the corner of the room.

“should i go after him?” i ask quietly, bill looking toward me and offering a soft smile, shaking his head slowly.

“leave him. if he wants to act like a child let him, i’m not going to stop him.” he shrugs his shoulders, spreading out on the couch and dipping his hand into the bag of chips that lay on the coffee table, clearly no where near as affected as tom is by the whole situation.

my hands immediately rush to my arms, running up and down the bare skin when i exit the building, the january breeze icy as it creates goosebumps across my body. i quickly spot tom’s car in the already empty parking lot, the grey sports car tucked away in one corner. the tense atmosphere somehow lingers when i approach the car, tapping on the window of the passenger side, tom’s head quickly turning around toward the source of the noise. his eyes are angry, jaw clenched as his hands clutch the steering wheel, so much that his knuckles begin to turn white. though his gaze softens temporarily when he notices me, one hand coming downward to unlock the door. i open it, cautiously stepping in and sitting down. an uneasy silence begins to form, one that would never be there unless a bad argument had happened, these occasions somewhat rare between tom and his brother.

“are you okay?” my voice is soft, barely above a whisper as i test the waters, attempting to gauge how angry he truly is, extremely careful to avoid him lashing out on me. not that he would mean to, however knowing tom as well as i do comes with the realisation that his temper is easily lost in moments like this.

“i swear to god i can’t trust him with anything.” he faces away from me, head turned to the side as he speaks, his leg bouncing up and down in frustration. but his facial expression shows only a minimal amount of his anger, his knuckle colliding harshly with the wheel, a red mark forming in place of the soft skin. i flinch slightly, and when he turns to look at me eventually, he must notice the unmistakeable look of fear etched upon my features, my body inched away from him.

“shit i’m sorry schatz.” he sounds defeated, a steady hand coming to rest on my thigh comfortingly, his thumb rubbing soft circles over the clothed skin, watching carefully as i begin to loosen up, calming down at the realisation that he isn’t frustrated with me. “it’s just annoying, you know? i ask him to do one thing for me, and he manages to lose one of my most expensive guitars. how does someone even lose a guitar? they’re pretty difficult to fucking miss.”

i nod understandingly as he rants to me, his tone still angry and the volume of his voice gradually getting higher. i quickly realise that letting out his feelings isn’t helping him to cool off, in fact it does the exact opposite - his rambling soon becoming just as heated as it had been when it was directed at bill. he finishes his speech with a loud groan, moving his head and resting it harshly on the seat, his jaw still clenched and expression harsh. his chest rises up and down, heavy breaths escaping from his parted lips, one hand still remaining firmly on the steering wheel, his veins becoming more prominent as his grip gets tighter, whilst his other hand rests on his forehead, massaging his temples slowly.

he turns his head, taking a not so subtle glance at me, his eyes, darkened and mirroring the rage that the rest of his body display, slowly trailing down my figure. a small crop top sits tightly on my upper half, flared jeans hugging my legs tightly, sucking me in at the waist just enough. my cleavage pokes out of the top slightly, this where tom’s eyes continue to linger, the harshness within them never faltering despite the clear presence of lust that forms along with it.

“come here.” he mumbles, his voice deep as he keeps his body still, the tone of his utterance making it crystal clear that it is not a request, and i have little choice in the situation. his expression never falters as i look at him in confusion, quickly realising that he isn’t going to move a muscle, let alone speak unless i comply with his words. the air becomes thicker as silence passes through it, only destroyed by the muffled sound of my body sitting up, hesitantly moving over to tom’s lap. he says nothing, spreading his legs apart and allowing me more room as i lower myself onto his lap, staring into his eyes without uttering a word. my eyes are innocent, a glint of submissiveness within them that seems to drive him insane as his hands attach themselves firmly to my waist. the pads of his fingertips run along the skin that my crop top doesn’t cover, his touch cold, but equally enticing. his lips are parted, eyes still darkened with rage, the lust within them soon managing to even it out as his hands rub down my waist, my clothed heat directly over his dick, the pressure only increasing as it begins to harden beneath me.

his gaze remains locked on my own, my breath getting caught in my throat when he clutches my hips, moving them over his crotch at an agonisingly slow pace without saying anything, the friction enough for his jaw to tighten a little, his head falling backward. “you gonna make me forget about it, hm schatz?”

i nod my head slowly, my breathing gradually speeding up as he repeats his motions, grinding me over his clothed dick once again. he doesn’t seem to want to remove any clothing, the heavy denim that adorns his lower half staying on, seeming to provide more friction that drives the both of us crazy. somehow he manages to stay quiet, his expression almost blank as he watches my face twist in pleasure, eyes on the brink of closing when his hardened cock brushes directly over my clothed clit, the contact just enough to send waves of pleasure through my body. however his somewhat strict demeanour soon fades away when my hands move to touch the waistband of his jeans, his eyes widening as they now lock onto my small fingers, watching their movements intently. it is this added contact that makes him brush myself over him as a faster pace, his grip much harsher as i now help him out, grinding onto him and matching the fast pull of his hands.

“keep going, like that.” though he won’t admit it, i can tell that he is enjoying this just as much as i am, deciding to conceal the pleasure he feels and instead keep his angry gaze locked on me, the sight enough for me to slip my hands into his boxers whilst i maintain the movements of my hips, desperate for him to make some sort of noise.

his mouth falls open, a loud sigh escaping from it as his hips buckle upward at the contact, the added friction causing a low whine to leave my own lips. he shakes his head when i try to sit up, wanting to feel his dick, not just through the painfully annoying restraints of his clothing. he is quick to stop me, grabbing my hips and placing them back onto his crotch.

“no no no, just…keep grinding baby, feels so good.” i widen my eyes slightly at his request, though i don’t think into it too much, placing my hands flat against his chest for leverage and resuming my movements, taking notice of the way his body begins to relax once again, slumping further into the seat. and when i lean forward, lips colliding with his neck ever so gently, he can’t resist the urge to make noise, an almost inaudible whine sounding from his lips as i kiss the skin just below his ear. his chest rises up and down, breathing becoming more erratic when i twist my hips slightly, his dick now brushing against my clit, the new angle clearly doing something for tom too as he squeezes my hips, groaning into my ear as i continue to kiss his neck.

“getting close, keep going schatz. doing so good for me.” his hands don’t sit on my hips anymore. they now rest on my ass, kneading the flesh as much as he can through the material of my jeans, accelerating my movements when i feel my own stomach begin to tighten. he pulls my head from his neck, the skin now littered in soft marks. though i don’t have much time to study my work as his hand threads through my hair, resting on the back of my head and pulling it harshly to kiss him. it is rough and sloppy, mirroring the desperation of my hips as they grind over him, tom occasionally thrusting upward slightly.

“fuck- i’m cumming.” he groans out against my lips, hands squeezing my skin enough to leave marks as his mouth falls open, releasing his hot cum into his pants as i carry on grinding onto him, moving a few more times before i reach my own climax. i struggle to kiss him back, moaning into his mouth as i rock back and forth onto him, slowing my movements once we have both rode out our highs. he grabs my face once again, sliding his tongue into my mouth and kissing me quickly before pulling away, placing me back onto the passenger seat.

i furrow my eyebrows, though when he hurriedly slips his shirt off, i soon get the idea. he climbs into the back, spreading his body out across the leather seats, his bare upper half resting against the car door whilst his legs are spread out. he rushes to undo the button on his jeans, flashing me a quick smirk from the back as i watch him, still sitting in the passenger seat.

“c’mon baby, take your clothes off.” he breathes out, watching intently as i hurriedly pull my small crop top off, my breasts only held in by the delicate lace bra that is still on. tom’s eyes hook onto my cleavage, his tongue poking out of his mouth to play with the small piercing adorning his bottom lip, a slight smirk etched upon his face. my hands now fiddle with the button of my jeans, just about to undo the zipper. my attempt is soon stopped by tom’s hand as it wraps around my wrist, pulling me into the backseat as i wriggle my way through, my body falling on top of his own. he quickly sits me on his lap, his hands scrambling with the zipper of my jeans as he aggressively tugs them down, forcing me to lift my hips upward as he pulls them from my legs, the lack of space in his car a pretty big inconvenience.

he groans in frustration, applying more force and yanking the denim down, sighing in relief as my bare body now sits on top of his, his eyes scanning the matching pink set that i had picked out. “you look beautiful.” his hands trail down my body, starting out at my chest, running over the lace of my bra, before trailing downward, their touch lingering just above my panties. “but i think you’ll look even better with this off, don’t you baby?”

i nod in agreement, hands reaching behind my back to unclasp my bra, my breasts springing free as tom wastes no time running his thumbs over my sensitive nipples, goosebumps forming over my skin at the feeling. the throbbing between my legs becomes painfully more obvious by the second, quickly making me realise that tom’s jeans are still on. his mouth works on my chest, biting and sucking at my breasts, far too occupied to register my weak attempts to pull his jeans down. quiet whines leave my lips, making it far harder to concentrate on what i really want - and more importantly, the fact that i can’t get it.

“let me take them off.” i whine impatiently, hissing when tom’s teeth graze my nipple. he doesn’t ignore me this time, bucking his hips upward and allowing me space to tug the denim down as he mutters a quiet ‘go ahead baby’, his voice vibrating against my chest. his boxers do a pathetic job at concealing his length, and more noticeably, the hardness of it. a white spot sits at the front from his previous release, and he is far too preoccupied with his lips against my chest to realise when i pull them down, bucking my hips upward to take my own panties off, letting them pool at my knees. he only realises what is happening when i press his tip to my entrance, sliding it in ever so slightly. it is at this moment when he sits back, his back pressed against the car door, eyes glued to his dick as i slowly slide it inside of me.

though the sense of control that i think i have is soon ripped away when in one swift motion, he flips us over whilst being half way inside, his body now directly on top of me.

“nice try baby.” he winks above me, placing both hands on my hips and beginning to slide the rest of his length inside of me, my walls stretching out as they try to become accustomed to his size - something that has never been easy. “let me forget about it all, mhm? just want to fuck you…”

his eyes darken at the subtle mention of the very recent dispute, making the purpose of our rendezvous very clear once again. and i don’t mind that it won’t be a slow, loving moment, knowing that we already share plenty of these. right now, all i want is to feel him move, regardless of the pain that might come along with it. and when i nod my head slowly, eyes gazing upward at him, that is all he needs to begin thrusting in and out of me, not bothering to give me time to adjust. he doesn’t start out slow, ignoring the opportunity to build up stamina and instead exercising his energy into moving his hips against mine so hard that the car shakes slightly. it doesn’t take long for loud groans to sound from his opened mouth, his nails digging into my hips.

when i scream his name louder than i had intended, he smirks down at me, repeating the motion that had elicited the noise out of me, his tip hitting the sensitive spot where i need him most. the lack of space doesn’t matter anymore, in fact it seems to work in my favour, drawing tom closer to me as he hovers inches above my body, his thrusts getting deeper each time. and to confirm our closeness, my eyes flicker downward, noticing the slight bulge in my stomach that comes and goes with each thrust. tom follows my gaze, tongue swiping across his lip when he registers what i am looking at. though i can’t watch for much longer, my eyes rolling to the back of my head.

he quickly regains my attention though, his hand grabbing my own, placing it on my stomach, the pads of my fingertips feeling the small bulge ever so slightly as tom watches my reaction, his mouth hung open and eyebrows furrowed. “you feel it schatz? look how well i fit inside you.”

all that my body can manage is a loud moan in response, teeth sinking into my bottom lip as he almost pulls out completely, forcing his entire length inside me in one fast motion, repeating his actions until i am struggling to see properly. my hands clutch desperately onto whatever they can make contact with, staring at his biceps, lined with muscle as they flex with each squeeze of my hips, until i end up pulling on the loose dreads that hang in front of my face, eliciting a loud groan from tom.

if my eyes had been able to stay open the past five minutes, i would have probably noticed the windows beginning to steam up, though it takes tom’s hand planting itself harshly against the glass for me to realise, a smudged mark left where it begins to trail downward. he places one hand flat against the window, next to where his handprint is marked, using it to stabilise himself as he aims to speed his pace up even more - something which didn’t even seem possible until he proves me wrong, snapping his hips back and forth as his length moves in and out of me faster than i am able to comprehend.

even if my moans are loud enough to overtake his own, it is impossible to ignore the small whines that leave his mouth, gradually progressing into soft groans, my name pouring from his lips as he chants it over again, the noises he makes only getting louder when i clench around him.

“do it again baby, please do it again.” though hazy amidst the tightening feeling that begins to build in my stomach, i manage to register his breathy voice, clenching my walls around him as his hips stutter against mine, his head falling backward with a loud moan sounding throughout the car, prompting me to repeat my motions - something which doesn’t go unnoticed by tom.

“fuck- you’re gonna make me cum baby. so close.” the car begins to get unbearably hot, windows seeming to steam up even more as our bodies move against eachother, lined with sweat and becoming more desperate by the second. he starts circling his hips, changing the angle so slightly that my body itself notices no real difference, not straight away anyway. with a few quick thrusts at this new angle, a series of high-pitched moans spill from my lips at the sensation, his pelvis hitting my clit just enough to stimulate it, giving double the pleasure from a seemingly small action.

“that feel good?” he knows that i am far beyond being able to respond, but even if i could, i would be screaming the three letter word ‘yes’ over and over again, though when my throat turns raw from practically screaming his name, he gets his answer, able to repeat his sharp thrusts until i know i can’t hold on much longer. the distinct smell of sex lingers throughout the car, my body beginning to stick to the leather seats as sweat lines my skin. tom is just as worn out too, but he somehow keeps going despite the rapid breaths that leave his lips, often cut off by deep groans and almost inaudible strings of curses. when his dick begins to twitch inside of me, i know that he is almost there - no need for him to verbalise it, his hands instead roaming my body as he captures my lips in a messy kiss.

i can barely kiss back, my hands wrapping around his neck, trailing down his back as he hisses in pain, never scolding me despite the fact that my nails dig into the skin harshly. in fact it seems to encourage him more as he moans into my mouth, tongue slipping into it as the kiss somehow gets sloppier, lips barely managing to collide together, often interrupted by soft moans. he pulls back slowly, my bottom lip between his teeth, releasing back into place when he sits up almost completely, thrusting into me a few more times before ropes of his cum coat my walls.

he throws his head back, loud whines sounding from the back of his throat as his hips rock back and forth slowly, fucking his cum deeper into me. with a few more deep thrusts, i hook my legs around his waist, drawing him deeper inside me as i let go of the knot in my stomach, my eyes rolling to the back of my head at the feeling, unable to process anything else but the overwhelming sensation, my entire body trembling. his hand moves downward to rub slow circles on my clit, my orgasm continuing to wash over me as my cum coats tom’s dick that still remains inside of me, hitting my g-spot with each thrust. his name falls off of my tongue like a mantra, seemingly the only thing i am able to say, his body on top of mine and cock inside of me all i want to think about - nothing else matters in this moment.

tom stays inside of me, his body collapsing on top of me as we lay, completely breathless, not bothered by the fact that if anybody were to be in the parking lot, they probably would have heard us. he plants lazy kisses onto my neck, his breath fanning onto it afterward as he attempts to calm down, his own body trembling slightly above mine.

“did i go too hard? sorry, i just got carried away. i was so pissed, i didn’t mean to take it out on you schatz.” he wraps an arm around my waist loosely, stroking my hair and looking into my eyes, his own half-lidded as exhaustion takes over his expression. but when i shake my head, smiling weakly at him and pecking his lips, his expression softens, quickly kissing me back.

“it’s okay, i liked it. i’m gonna ask bill to piss you off more often.” he smirks at my statement, hand trailing down to my ass and squeezing it playfully. his eyes land on the window, the faint mark of his handprint still visible, though the glass has fogged up again since. he reaches one hand upward whilst still remaining on top of me, his finger beginning to scribble something onto the glass. i sit up once he is finished, trying to decipher the messy handwriting, sighing loudly when i read it. ‘thank god for tinted windows ;)’

“charming.” i roll my eyes, smiling playfully and locating my clothes, this much easier to do in the back of his car. i throw tom his jeans, reaching to the front and grabbing our t-shirts. tom somehow finds my bra before i do, insisting to put it on for me, turning my body around and joining the clasp. he slips his boxers on, not bothering with the rest of his clothes and instead sitting on the back seat silently, closing his eyes as his head falls back. i groan, throwing his clothes at him once again. “come on baby, you need to make up with your brother.”

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

Aot S4: Deleted Scene

A/N: Deleted scene of y/n finally getting what she wants. Trust me, it really happened. I was there! 🤭😂

kruger!Eren truly believes he's a chameleon when undergoing his secret mission into Marley. Unaware of a sneaky lil thing sticking to the shadows, stalking him around Liberio unnoticed, your gaze narrowed, attentive to every inch of your attractive target. Licking your bare lips and lewdly studying his tall toned build: long dark silky tresses, sharp intense green eyes, an unamused pout on his full lips. Yeah, that's your Eren Jaeger all right. "Just dont know how fuckin fine you are, huh? Well, I'm bout to show you. heh. I'm comin for you, babe." You get your chance to make a move at the hospital late into the night, long after his fatigued form drifts into a deep peaceful dreamless state, oblivious to the cute curvy toffee-skinned spy keeping tabs on him since his arrival. "Rennieeee.. Ready to gimme that dick, baby? Hope so. Cause if not.. I'm gonna take it anyway, handsome." You're too fuckin giddy, tummy doing somersaults when you pull back the thin cover to see he's shirtless, only in a loose pair of white long-johns, soft chubby cock bulging the center. "So you're a show-er, not a grower, huh?" His slow deep breaths, and quiet rustle of clothing the only sound in the room as you swiftly undress and mount him. "Thought you could leave home without me baby? Come risk your life without a goodbye, no note.. Nothin. Not even a tiny taste of this fat cock." You know if he awoke at this moment you'd be a sight for sore eyes: palming your full round tits, occasionally tweaking your hard nips, head tossed back, features absolutely blissed out as you slowly grind his swelling girth.

kruger!Eren's low and throaty groans join the gentle creak of the bed when you really roll your hips, plump drooling pussy folds smooshing against his length. You're stickiness turns his bottoms transparent, frosting his swelling dick in your cream. "H-hooh, mmnh- ah,ah,ah.. Ohhh." It makes you smile when you see his big hands repeatedly curl open and close against the shabby sheets. "Oh? So you do like gettin ya dick wet? hmph. Thas real funny 'Mr. Kruger'. Fuckin hilarious considering how long I've been chasing your virgin ass around Paradis. You're such a damn tease, baby." You whine. Bending suddenly, fingers abandoning ebony titties, grippin his jaw as you suck deep angry marks into his pale throat. Moaning like a hussy while pecking a trail to his soft lips, suckin his bottom lip into your mouth before kissing him hungrily; rocking against the thick cock encased between your glossy lips, both you and Eren pulsing for more. "Ahh, wh-what.. nngh, aaagh- sooo.. Mnnh.." He babbles brokenly in his sleep, air huffing from his parted mouth. Tan muscles ticking, limbs twitching. Strong hips unconsciously humping back at you, rosy lips parting as his eyes move restlessly under his lids. "I know we talked about this, but I can't wait anymore. You been taunting my poor pussy for too long. She needs, you Ren. Time to give her what she wants." Words tapering of into the lewdest wanton moan.

kruger!Eren harshly bucks into your needy core, now fisting the sheets, seemingly sharing your sentiment. You don't wait a second longer, leaning another smothering kiss while unsheathing his cock, all shiny with your combined juices. "Poor Rennie.. Gonna run away this time? Or turn into a big bad titan so you can stop me?" You giggle, bending to whisper in his ear. "No, not gonna let you. Think I rather sit on this pretty dick. Make you fill me up over and over till you buss inside, ahfuck- oh, Ereeeen!" You moan. Head tossin back, impaling yourself on his leaky flushed tip, wide hooked mushroom head digging into your hot soft gummy insides. "Fuck, baby, you're opening me up so much- ah, ah, ah!" You shallowly bounce on the first few inches of the thickest meat you eva took, pussy givin in right away, almost sucking him inside, clamping so tight your victim chokes on his spit, eyes slitting open dramatically. "Theee fuuuck?!" Eren's chest heaves and you almost get him in halfway, the fierce pleasurable throb stunning his thought process. He stutters, words a jumbled mess. "I-I.. ngnh.. sooo wet.." Now, slurring. Your good ass pussy fogs his brain so much, unfocused jade irises dart around the room aimlessly, unseeing as saliva spills down his chin, before his vacant stare finally lands on you. "Hi Ren." Sweet greeting ringing in his ears so soothingly his dick jerks to your voice, oozing precum into your depths. "Fuh.. Y/nnn. Fuck are you doin to meee.."

kruger!Eren is slowy spiraling, body temp so damn overheated and he can't catch his breath but doesn't know why. Only knows theres something so utterly soft but scorching hot and snug trying to eat up his dick. Its so tight, feels so good tears blur his vision a second after he makes out your beautiful face above him. "Baby, you c-cant be here. Why did you- mmn, shit, suckin me in.. sofuckingood.. W-wait! Stop, stop it, you can't.. Mmn, don't- you promised y/n.. nnggh.." Eren Goin limp, head drooping; blinks his teary sight clear jutst in time to witness your greedy lil hole swallow him all. "FUCK!" He nuts violently soon as your pelvis meets his. Fingers shredding the covers, cumming inside pussy for the first time in his life, flushed slit projectile vomiting nut at your fertile womb. "Yes, baby, yeeees. Gimme that shit, thas my nut- all mine! ohfuck.. Ah! ohhhfuuuck, been waiting so damn long.. Bussin so much for baby, thank you.. Nnggh, so much Rennie, sooo. soooo. much. Cum!" You punctuate each frantic word with crude harsh bounces, thick thighs burning. But you couldn't pay for a fuck at the moment. Deliriously pumping your hips to his, twisting in small grinds, needy slobbering coochie milking him for every drop as you nip and suck his puffy bottom lip.

kruger!Eren plans for domination melt from his brain and spill from his ears, all cause ya fat cunt and crude words mush all coherent thoughts beyond crammin ya coochie with another gooey creampie. "Fuck, why's it so tight inside- noooo, you gotta stop. I'll cum again, i swear im gonna fuckin pump you full. Ohshit, can't believe you're makin me breed you.. D-dont do this. Make her lemme go, y/nnnn." Eren's outta his mind, digging his fingers outta the thin blanket to claw at your waist, hips clashing yours as he tries to lift you up. "Nope. Said this was my dick, yeah? Then gimme my pretty babies, handsome." He's so weak for your pussy, no match for you while still healing and you happily take advantage of the fact. Smiling like the cheshire cat when he snatches his body into the sitting position trying to create space between y'all, leaning against the sweat laced pillows, his overwhelmed lower half either attempting to back away from your ravenous pussy or buck you off of him. "Y/nnnn.." Eren groans. "Quit fuckin me! Feels t-too good. Never had.. oouuee.. Gotta stop, pleaase. Ahh.. Don't make me baby, just a small break please, y/n, pleeeease." Large palms pushing at your chest and tummy but you quickly lock your arms around his neck and cage him in a secure embrace. "No can do, baby. Did this to yourself. Next time.. Don't withhold my dick. Or do.. And suffer the consequences." Inhaling his protests into your demanding mouth, chasing after his lips and your own orgasm now that you've stolen his. Hell, he so fucking pussy drunk, begging you to stop even as he fucks you back, tryin to make you hurry up and fuckin cum. Not knowing you may not even stop then.

[saintobio]

HELLOOO FINALLY GOT TO SEND AN ASK!!!

first of allllll…. i think the time momjo sending the child guardian paper (?) that satoru typed out of anger is a hint…. and then satoru telling yn that sachiro called akemi mama… this honestly hurts alot more, imahine carrying your baby for 9 months, taking care of baby sachiro for 3 years alone, all the sleepless nights… and sachiro just ugh u dumbass small brain toddler (literally). anyways, satoru looking at akemi during suguru and shoko’s wedding, his hand rubbing akemi’s stomach at the cabin when she was in pain. honestly this part was akemi faking her pain or…? cuz there was a line that said after satoru asked if she wanted to go home her face didnt show anymore pain ? lololll idk. i dislike (hate) gojokemi but i think theyre gonna be endgame with all these theories coming up oh godddd. and the way yn threw the necklace into the lake, satoru went to search for it but did he manage to find it ? no. but during sn yn (well, suguru) found gojos wedding band. so in sy, yn threw away satoru’s “heart”, and it was never found again, thats a hint (?) bruhhh i hate thissss (i love this so much actually it made me feel so much i love u saint) i also recall the first time satoru and akemi first did it together he said smthg like i could learn to love u ? if i remember correctly. and the morning at the cabin after yn and gojo did it, yn was crying bcs they had a heartfelt talk ? and u mentioned they both felt guilty. the guilt is…. yeah.

BUT ALSO, satoru once said that yn has always been the one, sera when she saw gojo after forever told sukuna that he looks different when hes being with akemi, like hes not being himself? but that was when they first got together so idk about now. him not calling gojokemi exclusive. oh how they were happy and loving when yn got pregnant 🥹 but well it lasted until… yeah. also u said something about gojo gonna be on his knees again, since yn is now depressed and suicidal, i think for her heart disease shes gonna sign a DNR, then satoru on his knees maybe begging the doctors idk gawd idk someone mentioned dnr and i just… 🙂 its not that she wanna leave sachiro either, but i think shes telling herself everything will be better if she dies since sachiro, still very young, doesnt even really remember yn (just why sachiro) and called akemi mama… also why the hell didnt gojo use protection when fucking akemi oh gawd pls hate u satoru if she gets preggo.

anyways, i cant wait for gen to be back. i love u gen and ian.

oooh i also remember that you said there was a scene that inspired the birth of sn/sy, was it in chapter 11 ? or we’re not there yet…

honestly why dont yn just join shoko and suguru and be in a happy poly relationship ever looollll just kidding. my heart hurts, im still all in for gojoyn endgame but it doesnt seem realistic. ive been cursing gojo and akemi ever since the chapter came out loolll gotta give myself credit for being able to do my exams while still thinking bout this. 💀

omg there’s a lot to unfold here idk where to start 😭 but i just wanna say, it’s amazing how you’re so thorough in remembering those details in sn/sy bcos i honesty don’t have enough attention span to do that !!! sdjsj now while i can’t answer everything you mentioned, i can say a few things:

- akemi isn’t faking her pain, she’s truly struggling from it

- gojo doesn’t want kids outside of marriage (or should i say if not with yn), so he’s definitely careful with it.

- yes, it is indeed sy11 that birthed the sequel :’) i had that scene in mind before sn was even finished

[tortor-sauce]

18+ POST LOOK AWAY 👹🔞 if you’re not 18+ PLEASE DNI with this post!! 👹🔞

(sketch and drabble and headcanons)

(jel/reth/oc stuff)

GO AWAY LOOK AWAY!!!!! IM WARNING YOU 🔪

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP I CANT EVEN TAG THIS I DONT EVEN WANT PEOPLE TO SEE BUT I HAVE TO SHOW SOMEONE AND TALK ABOUT IT OR I’LL EXPLODE!!!!

i’m too shy to share the whole picture IM SORRY—i just wanted to capture a few headcanons into a single shamelessly horny drawing of the three of them together. also, my thoughts are completely unorganized and this post is mostly just me rambling!

small disclaimer, if you don’t agree with or like my headcanons, that’s totally valid but please don’t tell me so 🙇 i kindly ask you just move on from this post. thank you!

okay. so i feel like both reth and jel are service tops HEAR ME OUT—like, they’re both just a couple of pathetic lover boys who are so head over heels in love with you. the fact they practically always gift you something when you flirt with them in-game (jel gifting silk and reth gifting soup) i feel is their attempts at spoiling you and taking care of you in their own way. they just want to see you happy and make you cum your brains out a thousand times until you can’t think straight anymore 🥺

and in general, i feel jel would love to shower you in compliments and words of praise and practically worship your body. while i feel reth is the type to show you how he feels and relish in watching you come undone with him. but personally 👉👈 i feel jel and reth align more closely as switches because they’re both so.. so soft and need to be spoiled and loved so deeply (no innuendo intended)

with that said, i think jel is a more intimate and passionate lover while reth is a bit more unhinged and rough. that’s not to say jel doesn’t have his sadistic bouts. i feel it stems directly from his obsessive nature and grows into a desire to watch you submit to him and his whims, sort of in a controlling way. but it makes him so happy when you do. the need to know you belong to him, both your heart and body, is honestly really important to him. i actually feel he has control issues due to a number of reasons but that’s a different discussion—💀 and he rewards you so thoroughly for showing him how much you love him. god, the aftercare? he’s so gentle and attentive and treats you like the most precious thing he’s ever held.

more on reth, while not as sadistic, i feel he’s still plenty controlling when he wants to be. the poor man has hardly any control in his day-to-day life and the fact you allow him an ounce of control? over your body of all things? yeah, that shit drives him mad (positive). gets a bit carried away and leaves marks on your body, hickeys, scratches, bruises, the like. but hey, at least it’s a pretty reminder of how much fun you had together. plus, if anyone sees they’ll know you belong to him. but he definitely teases you about it the following days by making sly comments and even running his fingers over the more sensitive marks.

so, in my polycule i envision moments where two will actively spoil the other. so for instance like when maddox and reth want to spoil jel and shower him in the love and affection he deserves, he gets all shy and blushy but relishes in the moment. he pays them back tenfold once they’re finished, but not that same night. maddox and reth make sure he’s completely worn out so he’ll finally get some damn sleep for once. reth is the same in that regard; he gets all shy and blushy but he enjoys being spoiled for once. not having to care about anything or anyone else and focus fully on himself and his pleasure. and the two know this and want to show him how loved he is. lowkey i imagine jel bringing him to tears, crying tears of pleasure and from overstimulation but that may be a personal thing of mine. 💀 and as for maddox? they both know exactly which buttons to push. i imagine them sort of egging each other along. i mentioned earlier i think jel has a sadistic side to him, well i think the same of reth albeit not nearly as prominent. like, the fact he teases and flirts so much could be for a number of reasons, but how lovely it would be if it were only to watch their reactions each time. with that said, maddox happens to be very reactive and discovering that fact in bed, like, awakens something inside of him to tease more, to push as much as maddox will allow him. and yes, he notices the way jel reacts to it too. it only makes him want to tease him for the fact as well 🥴 WHICH is why i drew him with that expression LMAO normally i would’ve imagined him with a much softer and kinder expression but i think he’s quick to lose himself in the throes of pleasure which causes him to act a bit selfish at times. but like i said, i see him as a service top so really his ‘selfish’ moments are him just spoiling maddie and jel and showering their bodies with so much love and attention.

i have so many more thoughts but this post is getting long and i’m getting embarrassed so i’ll stop there for now.

IF YOU READ THIS IM SORRY LOL BUT THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME///////

[malereadermaniac]

Taylor Swift lyrics with Your Crush p.2

Male reader / Male crush

Requested but Tumblr deleted the ask 😭 m!reader (no genitalia mentioned) / FDNI word count: 1.1k fyi each lyric is a different scenario, they aren't linked

"Please don't be in love with someone else, please dont have somebody waitin' on you" ~ Enchanted

He was in love with you, (y/c) couldn't deny that anymore, but he was DEEP in the closet

After spending those whole 24h together, it only strengthened his feelings for you

He knew you must like him too after what the two of you did, but during the HUGE amount of talking you two did after having sex (y/c) mentioned his fear or coming out

Now, he's constantly stressed at the idea of you falling for another guy while you wait for (y/c)

He spends nights on end worrying about it, more than he worries about coming out in general

"Oh i remeber you driving to my house in the middle of the night, im the one who makes you laugh even when you're 'bout to cry" ~ You Belong with Me

Not to sound like a pick-me but his girlfriend was horrid

She only dated (y/c) for the social status, a social climber if you would

You and (y/c) have been friends for a while, becoming friends day 1 of high-school

He lived ages away but he would still come over to your house to hang out at least twice a week

You developed a crush on him real quick - after you came out he was one of the few people who stood up for you to the dickheads who thought it was hilarious that your liked guys - and you're heart just skipped a beat

But since he started dating his girlfriend, he's become slightly more distant and definitely less himself

(Y/c) seems overall less happy

So when your phone buzzes in the middle of the night, you could only guess it was (y/c) but the text itself freaked you out

"Im outside please come down"

You're outside ASAP

His eyes are sunken liked he'd been crying or hasn't been sleeping

"Sorry (y/n) I just really needed to talk to someone

You assure him it's okay and ask what's up, and that's when it starts

To summarise, they argued, (y/c) had had enough of his gf controlling little things in his life, she blew up and now he's single

And to summarise again, you invited him in, lent him a shoulder to cry on and the night ended with you two sharing a bed

"I need someone tonight. I'm sorry"

"I could see you in your suit and a neck tie, pass me a note saying 'meet me tonight' then we kiss and you know I won't ever tell" ~ I can see you

After high-school, (y/c) managed to solidify a fancy job, one which had many black tie events - rich people being rich

He would always bring you as a plus one, but you were his "friend" his co-workers had no idea you were his BOY"friend"

He had your permission to do that though, most of the people at these events were investors who were older than stonehenge, so they weren't too fond of gay people

But as soon as the event is over, once the door to the fancy car (y/c) can now afford closes he's all over you and vice versa

By the time you two arrive back home, your neck already had hickeys on it, and his top button is undone along with his gelled hair messed up

Your front door barely locks before (y/c) has you up against a wall, kissing up your neck to your lips

Your hands gently undo his neck tie, juxtaposing his rough hands man-handling you, your mouth, your face

"We could let out friends crash in the living room, this is our place, we make the rules" ~ Lover

You couldn't believe the man you'd known for 4 years, had a college crush on and eventually had a fling with would be the man you buy a house with

He was absolutely enamoured by you since that fateful day during finals, he would fantasise about this day

Memories would be made in this house:

Him sneaking up on you while you were baking in the kitchen, he scared you so much that you hit him with the dough

Playing with the whipped cream afterwards, giggling as he links some off your nose - a moment which could only end in one very spicy way

(Y/c) randomly saying he wanted to paint one of the walls purple at 11pm and the two of you driving to a 24h store and painting the wall until 4am - laughing the whole time

The Christmas lights staying up until the end of January, your friends telling you it was bad luck but the two of you wouldn't take them down - for the sole reason that the two of you couldn't find a day you both had time to do it, refusing to do it by yourselves

"Is this the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending, with all these nights we're spending" ~ King of My Heart

The two of you were close friends, (y/c) had watched you go through every single painful breakup you could ever go through

He subconsciously wished you would break up with your boyfriend everytime you would get with a new one but he'd push those thoughts down for supportive ones for his dear friend

It was late at night, a few weeks after your boyfriend fucked you over again - he was originally your ex which exploited your kind nature, weakling his way back into your life according to (y/c)

Sitting on the hood of his car, you and (y/c) Chat away while drinking WDK, "sweet liquid shit" as (y/c) calls it but he drinks it for you cause you hate all other alcohol

You felt at home, comforted by bring with (y/c), and he felt that this was right, this was how it was supposed to be

That night ended with a kiss, under the moon light, utterly perfect

Or it ended with his car windows steamed up, it's up to you

"Our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you, there is an indentation in the shape of you, you made you're mark on me" ~ Dress

He's always been a possessive kinda guy, always touching you in some way

At a formal event, the two of you wanted to keep the PDA at a minimum, but (y/c) couldn't BEAR not being able to touch you for hours, so he decided the next best think was marking you

You'd never shouted at him louder

Not only did he bite your neck and leave a FAT hickey, but it was in a hard to hide spot

You had to spend an extra half hour getting ready cause concealer and Youtube hacks weren't working

Few people at the event noticed and none of them even asked you, but (y/c)'s ego had never soared higher

Also! Just wanna mention that while I do look at my ask box frequently, chances are requests won't be done unless I really like the idea - sorry!

So yeah that's also why this took forever to be made.

[youredreamingofroo]

Goodbye? I don't think so. I hope not. A very, very long rant about storage (🙄), simblr and whatever the fuck else I go on about for a few paragraphs. Skip to the end at the gold text for a more.... "definitive" answer. Especially if you want to skip the nitty gritty and sappy wappy.

i dont know what to do anymore, I freed up 18 GBs of space it all managed to go down the drain in literally an hour, Im moving my blender things to my external HDD, because that alone is 20 GBs (because of Scene sizes), I just hate to free up the space because I dont want it to go right back down. This all sucks cuz I really really enjoy being on Simblr, but sims 4 just continues to be a nuisance, whether its actual problems or its storage problems, it just always finds a way, every year, to get me to suddenly decide that im retiring until my next bout of Sims 4 hyperfixation. I love all of you guys and I love seeing how you all enjoy my work, and what I do, and I love seeing your stuff, you all make such amazing creations, granted if I stopped playing TS4, it wouldnt mean I have to stop interacting on simblr, it just wouldnt be the same. A pattern I notice anytime I start a social media platform, is that something always finds its way into completely demotivating me from posting, whether it's just literal lack of motivation, depression, realizing a project is too vast for me, storage problems, it's always something and it's always when I finally get comfortable or happy on a platform, especially after making friends, not that im saying my friends are one of the reasons I leave, thats far from it. I REALLY dont wanna take a break from Sims 4, I really really genuinely wanna start posting my story (W.A.S), but I'm not like a Sims 4 youtuber, I can't remain dedicated to one game, I play other games, I wanna play the Witcher games (or at least try to play them, I kinda suck rn), I wanna finish Detroit become human, I want to 100% Beyond two souls (and DBH), I wanna finish Disco elysium (started and never fucking finished 💀), I want to play Baldur's Gate 3, I mean, I purchased it at full price and I can't even play the game??... 😮‍💨 You get the point. At this point I wouldn't consider this a "goodbye," note, not... necessarily? I just get so frustrated having no storage, not to mention the fact that I need storage to literally do the stuff I do, like make edits, make poses, make renders, so the fact that I can't even do that, is just like... what's the point of even having Sims 4 anymore at that point? But I don't wanna leave simblr, I don't want to stop creating. It's funny, as I write this, I continue to give myself more and more of a reason to leave, the only real thing that's stopping me is just the fact that there's so many nice people here, I know that if I stopped playing the sims 4, I'd probably move onto another game (BG3................,,,,,..) and leave tumblr, or, at least leave Simblr. Which as I (think) said before, that's sad, I'd be sad, I'd miss people like Lori (groovetrys) and Lauren (miralure), June (circusjuney), Jade (gamyrmaiden), Anna (holocene-sims), butter (buttertrait), Fae (acuar-io), Verco (vercosims) and god, so many others, and sorry to break the atmosphere suddenly, but as I'm writing this, I'm listening to "In another life," from Everything everywhere all at once and it's making this very emotional for me, so if it gets sappy I apologize.

And I guess to be... insanely honest, as much as I want to release my story (trust me, I REALLY want to), I'm slowly beginning to realize more and more how not-easy it's gonna be to make scenes, writing it is fine for me, its just setting up the scenes feels like i'm forbidden to a life of staring at a bunch of words (pose names) trying to figure out what's what, where is what, what to do, where is where, who is who, who is what, how is what, how and why, need I continue. Storytelling is so insanely important to me, I believe that despite how little I read and despite how terrible of a student I have been, and despite how poor my literature skills are, that storytelling is still so important, fuck it, poetry has been such an inspiration for me, but I don't fucking know how to write poetry?? I can barely understand poetry at times, but it's still all so beautiful to me, the concept and the fact that people use metaphors so meticulously to create an allegory for something beautiful, or traumatic or sad, like in not so berry, the concept of an ocean being alexanders "love," and cataleya drowning in it, and her realizing she's drowning in his "love," but when she wants to leave, she really wonders if she actually wants to leave, to conceptualize and create this awful relationship in the means of an ocean is so... well, not beautiful in a reality sense, but in a technical/literary sense, it's beautiful, it's expression, and THATS what im passionate about. Remember what I said about getting sappy? Yea, sorry about that. After a while, I wonder what good repeating myself does, I've said about 5 or 6 times that I don't want to leave, yet here I am, with the mouse over the uninstall button like an idiot about to press the big "DON'T TOUCH" button, perhaps it's the idea that after repeating myself over and over again, that maybe I'll make up my mind, do I do a coin flip? I never listen anyways, I always continue to flip until it lands on what I like. So... why am I still writing? To be honest, I should've stopped by now, but you can only stop a dam so much before it all comes out. I do this with my friends, when I'm sad, I pour my heart out until it's a repetitive and overcooked version of "I'm sad." I write paragraph after paragraph and I literally could've just said "I don't have storage. Considering leaving simblr," and the same message would've gotten across, and I apologize, if you're still reading this, for making such a lengthy post, but I couldn't quite help spilling a bit of water everywhere, although I guess now my little puddle of water has become a flood. I use metaphors a lot, I apologize... again.

So what does all this bullshit that I typed out mean?

I don't know. I wonder the same myself, I'm fighting a battle more fierce than the one I had with my period last week, "Do I uninstall Sims 4 so I can have more freedom, and enjoy more content? or do I continue this rigorous battle of needing storage for the sake of a tumblr page, my enjoyment for writing and other shit I do in the sims 4?" I cannot say I will take a hiatus, because I will procrastinate, and I will forget completely about posting, and tumblr in general. I do still, at the very least, want to release my Official Teaser for my story, whether it be my last post or not, and at the very least, I want to introduce you to the characters, whether it be my last post(s) or not. Not to mention the fact that I want to continue sharing about Roo even if it's not about sims 4 anymore, I mean hell, I haven't even finished off the Leo and Roo part of his timeline.

For an INCREDIBLY watered down answer on whether or not this is goodbye, I say to you, not in this moment, not definitive enough for you yeah? Well, that's the thing, I don't have a definitive answer, you could fucking tear apart this entire college essay mat-pat style, and still not have a definitive fucking answer, and that's because I don't, sorry to all the people who don't want to listen to me rant or who want a clear answer, but I just don't have one. I've been known to make impulsive and on the whim (when I'm really emotional) decisions, and this is a situation where I don't want to do that, because I care about what I have here with ya'll.

If this ends up being one of my last posts, I bid you all adieu, I love you all, and I thank you so so so much for the laughs, and for the mutual connection we may or may not have had, I do not know if I'll make any actual posts for the next few days as I consider my decision, I will float around of course and continue reblogging this and that, and commenting and liking, etc etc. There's also a chance I may wake up tomorrow and look at this and think I was just being overly emotional about this stuff, and that now I look like an idiot, which is the case 9 times out of 10.

[antiendovents]

heyyy its ussss! its r (or maybe Eva idk) (nope yeah its r) and I just wanted to say you're awesome!!! (EVA GET OUT) we think you are super cool,sorry, but evalynn wanted to say smth to ya.

hiiiiiiii I think you're so cool and um I'm back and feeling way better and anyway yea love you (platonically) you're so cool yeah 💕💖

well that was rather embarrassing. the love letter we were referencing was our second message to you, in which saturn got way too in detail about me.

we are not dating lol, I have a gf (well, me and Eva share her, I think Saturn is aroace and evalynn is a child so yeah) (and our other alters almost never front) (cept one but I do not want to introduce her to you because she sucks and I really hate her) (shes very abrasive and generally assholey, she yells a lot at r and the rest of us).

anyway uhhhhh yeah I have like a quick question. can an alter have a backstory that's basically me but kinda tweaked? so evalynns backstory is basically mine (I'm the host), except I have a lot of trauma from COVID so for her COVID never happened. shes like forever in third grade, before COVID started and um kinda like a fictive but from real life. she also hates reminders of COVID so I'm gonna make sure she does not read the rest of this message cuz her mental health is already sorta iffy!!!

OH I NEED TO WARN YOU BOUT SMTH. my parents raised me z!onist and I'm not anymore cuz like... a lot of very obvious reasons, but evalynn does not have the skills to process this, so she generally does not talk about any of this. I've been doing my very best to make sure she doesn't know anything, so she may be a bit oblivious. we were never the sort of z!onist who wanted to like, kill everyone (tho I know some of those) we actually thought that the west bank and gaza should be allowed to be its own country even when we were younger, but she is still very connected to israel (we are Israeli, but again, stand for Palestine) so ummm please ignore her lol anyway bye lol (insert nervous laughter)

PLEASE DONT HATE US

-🌌🌠

hi again you two!! Thank you so much! You seem cool too (all of you) :D

And hi Evalynn! You're awesome and I'm glad you're feeling better now! Love you too (platonically ofc!) and I hope you have a great day(or night depending on where you are in the world!)

Also I didn't even notice that lol! When I go back now yeah that kind of was a love letter lol! but I guess a platonic love letter since you have a girlfriend and they're aroace?? Either way it's kind of cute (like in the way where you see best friends or siblings give eachother gifts or care about eachother a lot and you just go "awh")

And don't worry about that, we kind of get that! We'd probably introduce ourselves too if we didn't switch so much, infact we still need to work on introductions on our personal blog, we just don't know who to do cause they either stop fronting for a long time or cant be bothered to do it (and also we have a few alters like that, so we get why you might not want to introduce her to us, but either way you should know she's welcome here even if she is a bit "assholey")

And yeah, it is possible for alters to have similar but different "backstories" or whatever one would want to call it! I'd assume it would be that your brain just witholds memories of COVID from her due to it being too traumatic or stressful for her to handle, which might explain why she only seems to remember what happened before COVID and why she doesn't like reminders of it? (I don't know, I'm making assumptions based on how our system works a little, but our point is yeah it's entirely possible!)

And that's fine, we don't hate you for that. You cannot control how you were raised or what your parents believe in or even where you were born, you've changed and recognised that the belief is harmful and that's good enough, that's literally all you can do. It's understandable that some alters may not be able to fully process it, sometimes these things can be incredibly complicated and trying to change what you grew up with is hard, we're proud of you for doing it anyways, even if not all of you understand it perfectly

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.

Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.

When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.

Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

And then it repeats.

I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍

lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.

so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.

and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.

you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.

there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.

how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?

i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.

my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"

No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.

I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.

Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

we are shaking hands over this.

anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.

I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.

[vince-linder]

Something bout relationships

Oh no, they are fighting. But they should be all happy, giddy husbands, right? Nah. No marriage or relationship is ever just happy. And this one isnt an exception at all. But dw, they still love eo. Lil writing wip towards the pic under the cut <3

"Johnny?" Vin set down his cup and stood up from the desk, just to sit down back next to his partner. "Mmh?", he looked up from his guitar to his husband, his brows furrowed in a questioning manner. Johnny was trying to finish this song, and usually Vince wouldnt interrupt him with not important stuff at times like this. Vince scooted a bit closer, hesistating to directly spit out what he was thinking for a while and needed to adress badly. "You know, we are kinda in a poly-ship with Ker and Vel, right?" A screeching sound from the guitar strings was the only sound for a moment between them. "What-" Vince took a deep breath and looked at his husband, playing around with the ring on his hand. A small smile formed on his lips as all the memories flooded him. "Come on Johnny. I dont mean it in any negative way, but-" "No. No fucking but. We are not in ANY relationship with them. At all.", Johnny stared at him angrily, like he just took the biggest punch in the guts.

After a moment of silence, Johnny stood up and paced through the living room. And Vince fully well knew to just let him ponder for a few minutes, give him room to let out all the anger and negative emotions. Still watching Johnnys ever step, seeing him attempt to say something a few times, just to close his mouth again before speaking. Finally he stopped in his movement and looked at Vince, less angry and more confused now, but still so full of energy. Vince almost smirked, but he knew to well that it would only enrage Johnny right now, but good god, was he cute like that.

"What do you mean with that even?", finally Johnny found his words, even in a kinda calm and collected manner. "Well. We spend much time together, either staying at our Mansion, or Kers. We slept together in one bed quite a few times. We have very casually Sex between the four of us. We go on Dates together, all four of us, just me and Vel or you and Ker. This feels quite a bit like dating-light, dont you think?" Vince watched him again, but this time dont gave him the room to say something against it, but stood up and placed his hands on Johnnys hips. He could feel the slight reaction, the minimal shock of Johnny, but he would not jump away form his husband. Not anymore. "I know you try to make us all believe that you dont like Vel-" "I do not like him, that is no make believe." "Mhm. Sure. Thats why the two of you cuddle together on the couch with Nibbles, watching goofy sitcoms? Or that the reason why you want him on your lap when nobody else is around? Or maybe-" "Stop it Vin! I am not into him, and I do not like him!", the anger was boiling in the rockerboy and now he pushed Vince from himself to start once more to pace through the room. "I am only doing this for your and Kers sake. Not for this homeless idiot. He is taking advantage of both of you, nothing more, nothing less." "No. Come on Johnny, you dont mean that." "I fully mean that V! How can you be so blind? He searched a sugardaddy and found two! Congrats."

"Johnny-", a sigh left Vince as he tried to calm his husband down again, carefully placing his hands without much pressure on Johnnys forearms. Johnny stopped and stared at Vince, the anger boiling in his gaze, his muscles twitching from the deep overstimulating emotions. "I know this is a tricky topic for you, and I know you still have your very personal problems with your sexuality besides everything me, but please. I know you dont mean it like this, J. It is a weird situation, I know that. I never thought that anything alike would happen, especially after all we been through. After all we tested with Ker and Billy. But things change, and I -" "Nothing changed on that part." Johnny crossed his arms and was fully pouting "Sure I enjoy the sex with Ker, he's a good lover. But thats all." "Mhm. Sure.", Vince shook his head amused by Johnnys antics "Thats why its always Vel on your cock, because you love Ker that much."

Anger, hatred, a nervous twitching that almost looked like he holded back to just punch him straight, all that played in Johnnys face and body for a few seconds, staring at Vince for this comment and his attitude. "That-that isn't true. Yall just cannot get enough of my cock, thats it."

Vince rolled his eyes, but he was used to Johnnys defensive stance towards anything about his sexuality. Of course, Johnny Silverhand wasnt gay or even bi. He was just slightly into one man, and that only because they shared a brain. Nothing more. He would never enjoy anything else. Vin let go of Johnnys arms and turned, heading to the window and staring outside for a moment. As always, the city was loud and agressive. Just like their situation right now, maybe it was again time for a trip through the badlands to detox from it all.

"V-", his voice was almost apoleptic, somewhat deeply hurt. This man was full of trauma he would never truely be done with. But Vin didnt turned. He didnt wanted it to be such a big fight to get Johnny to even admit he may enjoyed being around Vel and Ker much lately. But he should have seen it coming. The last time they tried something kinda poly, it escalated even quicker, and much more violently. He leaned his forehead against the window, the glass cooling his mind. "What do you wanna hear from me, Johnny? All I said is true. We both know this. But you are still not able to be true to yourself. You are still trying-" he stopped in his words as he felt Johnnys arms wrapping around him, and the head of the rockerboy being on his shoulder. "I know.", was all Johnny said before he just silently cuddled with Vince. Vince closed his eyes for a moment and leaned against the frame of his rockerboy husband, a silent laugh escaping him "You know, that you are an idiot?" "Mmh. And you are a dumbass. Thats why we fit together so well." Vince turned in his embrace, facing him with a cheeky grin. "So you really not gonna admit that you like Vel?" "Never gonna happen." "Cause you know, you gonna be alone here with him next weekend, right?" Johnny looked confused at him, trying to get why that should be the case. "He's not with Kerry?" "Nah. Kerry gonna be on this little Promo Party, in Pacifica. And I am on a big gig. Kids spending the weekend at Mamá Welles.", Vince smile grew, as he saw the realization in Johnnys face bloom. "So its just me and Vel." "Mhm" "I not gonna survive this."

[average-monster-enjoyer]

Heyyy if you rlly like monster, i recommed checking out a brazilian TTRPG named "Ordem Paranormal"! They got a bunch of cool monsters!

Heres a few i think u would enjoy:

The Lurker(og name is "O Espreitador")

It's first appearances(episode 1, season 4) in the TTRPG were only in stalks, only it's eyes appearing. Making the main characters paranoid, because right when they said they saw the eyes, the eyes disappear.

its full appearance only appeared in episode fourteen(still season 4), the characters actually fight it this time. This folk is able to summon almost perfect clones of the victims it watched for a long time, using they to fight the characters.

Its main thing is just stalk people. It can even drain someone's sanity while they sleep and leave them with insomnia for a few weeks just by watching they.

Also, it technically it was created by one of the characters from the first season (Daniel Hartmann), he was a writer and The Lurker was one of his tells... I dont remember how his creations created life my bad.

Alright next one.

The foreigner("O Estrangeiro")

If you accompanied R/Place you prob heard of this one.

This one is quite a mistery yet from what I heard, but we know this folk got a big connection to the "Bells of Tenebris". Everyone who had an experience with this being went back to living their lives normally, as if nothing had happened, but still with a feeling that something is wrong, even though they don't know exactly what it is.

He just appeared in the second spin-off of the TTRPG, "Sinais do Outro Lado"

Next one.

The Needy("O Carente")

(its original introduction to the TTRPG is really, really good. It gives me chills every time I watch it. REALLY recommend taking a look)

This one was also one of the tales of Daniel!! The original story is about a creature that devours the internal organs of women who have given birth thanks to its envy of beings who receive love even before they are born.

And the devil himself says Needy is his child... Cool as hell. And yeah we got the devil in the TTRPG, we will talk about that guy later..... We got a recording from a character of Needy and Devil walking together

Cute.

Anyway next.

I have like... Two more to show u, but i think these are already enough. So we are going straight to the GOOD PART.

The Relics of Calamity("As Relíquias da Calamidade")

The relics are.... complicated.

They are fellas of great power. And only "markeds" can have control of them. Having a relic is equal of having 100% of paranormal exposure.

Long story, quick response: they are very powerfull paranormal object that when a marker takes control of them, that relic becomes one with the wielder. Sometimes, the relic takes more control of the wielder than they.

The relics are also a representation of the elements of the paranormal, energy, blood, death and knowledgent. But for now, we dont have someone to represent the element of fear, being it a very mysterious element.

In the relics, we have:

The Host(Anfitrião), relic of energy

Very chaotic guy, my favorite!! Sadly he just appeared for a few episodes, and for not having a wielder, he doesnt appear anymor :[[

His personality in general is the representation of chaos, making sick games that already distort reality making people go against each other. He doesn't care about anything that isn't his own fun.

Host doesnt like the other relics, but Devil seems to be an exception.... They are kinda of besties.

Love this guy.

The Devil(O Diabo), relic of blood

I dont know if I have much to say bout this one? Not a big Devil fan lol.

While Host just want to have fun, Devil wants to, well, fuck people's life, and he was never manipulated, defeated or imprisoned.

He is known as someone who makes pacts for people, giving them gifts after making the pact, with the payment not coming until some time later... Hes also able to summon any paranormal creature whos envolved with the element of blood, any.

The Magistrate(A Magistrada), relic of knowledgent.

The relic knowledgent is actually a mask, and whoever wear it, becomes Magistrate, the leader of the cult of mask, and their only goal is to protect the balance of reality. (We still don't know why or how...)

The Magistrate knows and remember everything that happened on earth. Everything. However, they can't interfere with reality with their wisdom

Unlike Host, Magistrate is calm and much more reserved. And because Magistrate wants this whole not interfering with reality thing, Host hates they.

LAST ONE!!!

God of Death(Deus da Morte), relic of, well, death.

PAL..... HIS THEME SONG IS SUUUUCH A BANGER, PLEASE SEARCH HEILAG VAGGA AND LISTEN TO IT!!!

Also known as "Parasite of Dimensions", God of Death is the relic that protects the chronology of the universe, able to manifest in multiple places and multiple forms at once via his Time Warp. When he doesn't have a wielder, he manifests himself in the form of an anachronistic civilization, which may vary in name between Holy Cradle, Sacred Beginning, Divine Beginning or Eternal Beginning.

Because God of Death have this thing or protect time and stuff, Host ALSO hates him because of a thing that happened... But if I explain this situation I would do 40 lines of explanation, and this is already big enough.

Hope u enjoyed ig. If you want more monsters from OP i have a few more i think u would like.

Hi I'm so sorry I only read like a little bit of this and looked at the pictures but

OH MY FUCKING GOD I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE MONSTER DESIGN IN THIS, JUST THE FIRST THREE WERE ENOUGH TO MAKE ME RUIN MY SHORTS, I WILL 100% TRY TO CHECK THIS OUT, THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME ABOUT THIS!!!!!!

:DDDDDDDD!!!!!

[thesimulacrasimp]

So yeah, here we go again! I just watched 3rd n 4th eps of hazbin hotel so, again, my thoghts abt it. Idk if i really need to put spoilers warning anymore, but ig ill do it just in case. As with previous post there will be some screenshots.

HAZBIN HOTEL EP 3-4 SPOILERS WARNING!

So tbh i dont have much to say about 3rd ep. Overall it was a really cute ep where everyone kinda got along. Also we met alot of new overlords (that one giant wolf girl was cool as hell) n got a few bop songs. I really like all new voices we got here. Also Velvette was killin in this ep, like slay queen!! Also i didnt know this girl (idk her name srry) was Carmillas (idk if spelled the name correctly--) daughter, that really suprised me.

Ok 4th ep... I have alot to say about it. First of all when that Angels moive started i was like: WTH S GOIN ON WHAT????? Then i thoght that its Angels dream (or nightmare-) n that wolf guy was representation of Valentino. N then when its all started i was like: Oh. I get it.

Speaking about Val, when all that fire started n he opened his wings, that was FUCKING BEAUTIFUL N I REALLY DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO HAVE ACTUAL WINGS, I WAS LIKE: :O I FOR REAL ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A FUR COAT--- ok n thats literally the only good i can say about Val by now.

That one awful scene with Val n Angel was literally so scary... Ive never been in SA, ive never had such "experience" (and thank GOD for that), but i know that feeling of fear when you just in trap and you cant do anything, i know how that feels to be abused, when you just hiding in corner feeling so fucking scared that you gonna get beated up n yelled again, you KNOW that will happen and you just wait for it in terrify, you literally feel yourself like a little child who cant do anything, you want to share your problems to someone, just wanna cry to someone, but you cant and you need to pretend that everything is okay. I was so scared for Angel in that scene and i really felt it. And the way Angel tried to make Charlie leave before that all happened.. Yes, he definetly knew whats gonna happen n thats so scary...

Anyway OMG VOX HIIII!!!!!! :DDDD

BTW THE FACT THAT HES HOLDING VALS HAND LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO KISS IT----- THIS SHIP IS TAKING OVER MY BRAIN PLS SEND HELP

Yeah, yknow what really strange thing about all that? Is the fact that Val s obviously a horrible person consindering all the things he done to Angel, but he is still an ENJOYABLE CHARACTER. Like- ofc that awful abusive scene was not enjoyable at all, but for some reason i just cant hate him!! I TRY BUT I JUST CANT N THATS SO WEIRD. probably its because i know its not a real person, its just a character but still-

Also (someone pls count how many times i used this word-) i really didnt expect to see an ACTUAL SEX SCENES IN THE SONG. Ig i shouldve expect it n i kinda did, but i still didnt-

Also this little scene made me fucking cry, for real. But not the fact that Angel crying made me cry, but his line: "If i end up broken, I wont be his favourite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go.."

I dont know why this exact line made me cry, but it did and i think this is awesome, because they really made me care for Angel, even tho, again, ive never experienced such feelings so i cant relate to that, but i still feel so bad for him.

Ok can we talk about that Husk was AN OVERLORD??? I WAS LIKE: WHAAAAATT????

And OF COURSE that one Husk n Angels song. You already know how i feel about it so im not even gonna talk bout it! SIKE‼️I WILL!!!!! THIS SONG IS SO FRICKIN CUTE, THE FACT THAT HUSK STARTED TO JOKINGLY (or maybe not jokingly-) SAYING THAT ANGEL IS A LOSER TO BRIGHT HIM UP IS ACTUALLY SO SMART! THEYRE BOTH SO CUTE TOGETHER SINGING AND HOLDING HANDS FOR A LITTLE TOO MUCH!!! AND THIS SONG IS MUSICALLY ALSO SO AMAZING, ITS LITERALLY MY STYLE OF SONGS, MAYBE MY NEW FAV SONG I CANT REALLY TELL RN! And the meaning of this song is really good too. Whatever is happening to you, unless youre not alone, everything is better!

Andddd everything is ended quite good and wholesome! They came to the hotel, Charlie apoligized and everything is good!!

soooo yeah! Thats it i guess! Im pretty sure im gonna edit it if i remember something else i wanted to say, but thats it by now!

My review/thoughts on eps 1-2

My review/thoughts on eps 5-6

My review/thoughts on eps 7-8

[mooninparadise]

(That was meant to be anon, whoops)

What is something you absolutely love, but dont get to talk enough about?

You're totally good! 😄 thank you so much for sending an ask!! 💗

Ooooohh this is such a good question. I've been waffling on answering this because to be honest, if you lend me your ear, I WILL talk bout whatever I'm obsessed with. Whether you ask or not, I'm ready and willing to talk my heart out. lmao

If I reeeaally think on it, I would have to say horror rpg-maker games! Specifically 'Ib', that one's my fave. Its not a very popular game anymore (nor are a lot of them) so I never get the chance to talk about it, but I have such a soft spot for it and I'll take any opportunity to talk about them if people are looking for game recommendations.

There is a certain charm (and creep factor) that you get from these games that I can never find in modern, triple-A games. Like these games are 8-bit style, but have stayed in the back of my mind for years and I always look back on them in fondness.

'Ib' is a game where you play as little girl named Ib, who is visiting an art museum with her parents. While taking a look around the museum, you eventually get lost and things get a bit...✨Spooky ✨ This game has multiple endings, lots of puzzles, and a storyline that goes deeper then you think. I love that its very art centric, so that may be why I love it so much, but it was my introduction to rpg-maker games and BOY what an introduction. It's currently $12.99 on steam (I played it well before it got on steam, so I was able to play it while it was free) but it'll be the best 12.99 you ever spend, trust me!

A few honorable mentions are Witch's House, Mad Father, and Misao. These are incredible games to play on your own and are guaranteed to be not only a fun time, but give you plenty of scares. Perfect now that we are entering spooky season!

Also in tribute to my favorite all time horror game, I made an art piece for it! It's currently the header for this blog. ❤ Thank you so so much Anon! I literally get SO happy when I can talk about this game. It's the best.

[wolfcake101]

more fun facts about spark that i didnt put in the last one bc i became occupied with explaining spark's mental issues lol!

Spark loves Mezzo Melodyland

spark and winston are close friends, yeah? funny thing, spark had to beat up winston THREE TIMES. bc this is what happened when i actually played ttcc......it was because my friends kept needing help fighting him bc winston greened em. anyways spark sobbed during each time and on the last one she just laid next to winston and apologized to him

yeah spark has like, a cog uncle named Vendyn Masheen, haven't really posted much about him here woops

originally, spark's design featured her leaking oil out of her mouth 24/7! this was because she uh. ate cogs a few times

spark is the reason we dont hear bout fruity the fisherman anymore

spark would make winston watch the fnaf movie

spark actually has four tails!!! but usually im only able to fit 2 on drawings of her

Spark's house is very bare (besides from a sick gamer setup) because she like. usually goes outside a lot. and also sucks at interior design lol

off topic but. anybody with a winston ask blog..............please give me permission to annoy you with spark's blog...........yes i know about @/ask-winston-byrd that blog is owned by my friend lol but i swear dude there is SUCH a lack of winston blogs.......unless if tumblr just refuses to show me

[gyahyahyahayhahayahyahyahyahyaha]

h

i really shouldnt be feeling like this in this precarious situation where im only kept afloat by anothers grace. but hard to even bother. i havent had a reason to honestly give a shit for my own sake for so long. and now i HAVE to. for someone else's sake. or suffer the lifechanging consequences... i guess im ust reckonin g with that................. ive been reckoning with that for an obscenely long time... ive gotten so complacent. ive been so settled in this position for so long. i dont knoww honestly. its been so long.

im not dealing with this well. the ever present and looming answer to this thats been hanging over my head for so long gets harder n harder to ignore. this is a situation i crafted with my owwwn two hands. this is a situation that i set aflame to with my own two hands. what hasnt been irrevocably ddestroyed but these efforts of mine has been left to rot. suspended merely by what i havent directly destroyed with mmy own actions. and all thats left is the rotting tension keeping these bridges up. whats left is rotting due to my inaction and cowardice. ive wasted too much time to start ccrying abou tit now that its staring me down in the face. now that i cant ignore it anymore. i can try ig. i was having fun cooking for JUST mysef for a bit for the first time in years ig not havingg to be CONSTANTLY looking over my shoulder like i would hhave before. its not like it left me completely. theres noway it could have after 2 whole decdes of ingraining those behaviors into your thinking patterns and how you approach everything. its crazy how carried away i got just from cooking a few meals and scrubbing a few showers for MYSELF. i got so excited and bigheaded thinking that "see? maybe i can do it". but its like...

why? why should i. i know why. if its at least for the ssake of not burdening others AS MUCH, as DIRECTLY anymore. but. that, ive long since noticed... can only take me so far. this fear is so pointless, sso annoying. ive already spent so much time letting myself being moved and shaped by it that now it just makes my heart move fastear nd my body freeeze upr and thats it. nothing worthwhile comes from engaging in this level of fear anymore. so have to stop it. i dont know if i can channel anything worthwile out of these feelings anymore. but after all this time. its difficult. i dont wanna be like this but whate lese is there for me to be but dead. its realy hard to think about naything else when thats the prevailing thought takin up (most if not all of)my line of sight. my emotions. my way of thinnking and planning. my fucking everything. i know it hasnt taken up everythyihng cuz 2 decades later im still here. i still eat. i stll worry a bout feeding myself. i still havent starved to death despite my attempts. i know this. i fucking know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. im still fucking here. i fucking know. i have bigger thins to worry about. i know. i made things this bad with my own two hands. i know i knoww i know i know i made things worse and wallowed in it. stewed in it. rotted in it. but i still. stretch. i still reach. i still jump. i still try to MOVE. i still feed myself. i wouldnt have been able to even have the energy or strenght to throw some shit together in the microwave if i didnt have all the help i did. they made it so easy. i wouldnt be able to move if i ididnt do all that. all this time. i know. i woudnt b e this fucking old. despite being completely unable to see myslef makein g it to this age. i fucking know. i ts not like i did much else bu tthink about it all this time. iveen sayin the same shit for so long and yet here i am. i know next hyear is the year i said that i d finally do something. if i wasnt out of that fucking place! and owouldnt you fukckinggg know it. im out of that fucking place bu its the same. im still strung up by others graccce towards me . im still fucking here. i have to do something. i have to burn them all up onece and for all OR cross the path afforded to memby these bridges extended to me. i have to take those steps . i know im too old for this.. but that doesnt even really bug me as much anymore. i dont have much time to waste. so otherwise i waste it and waste all these opportunities and time HANDED to me or i. take these opportunities and move forward with them. i can still salvage this situation while i stil have time to do so. if i try. so why am i still wasting all this time.

all the exuses ive been waiting on have arrived at my doorstep. i cant wait on them anymore. and its not like i had any good reason or excuse to wait anyways. i just. was losing momentum? giving up? its hard to prop yourself up and move using the guilt and fear and shame and regret of howww long and how much youve been relying on others to live as like fuel. its not sustainable. i woud fukcking know. this is probably my best and last chance to fix thinsg for myself. to graab hold of my own life. for my owwn sake. but i cant stop asking. "why? what for?".

i definitely lost sigght of a loit of immportant thinggsss. i mean. isnt that what fucking happens when you spend so much time imired in all those feelings, in your own head........ but. ok.

what now.