#therapist says im not safe behind the wheel for now ๐
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#damn death just doesnt get easier huh#its so weird im at a level of dissociation where im deadass losing time ๐คฃ#thought it was the potential narcolepsy but yunno#therapist says im not safe behind the wheel for now ๐
#sigh#i feel like im coping with everything ok but then my nodu just shuts down like lol you thought#its kind of scary like my brain just overheats and decides to turn off now#sometimes in the middle of a sentence#oh my mom has decided she didnt abuse me now#tell that to the two years of therapy ive spent unburying memories about her ๐#i miss my maw#the little things are getting me now#like no more xmas eve birthdays#my bday is halloween so i always like. had an easier time remembering hers#no more xmas eve birthday calls... fuck#im just lying in bed#why do the good people in my life leave first ๐ฅฒ#paw movin down to wolf hills to live near dad tho#and dad's retired now so theyll hangout everyday#he deserves that hes 92#hell.#im gonna go kill the wither 40 times to make myself feel better ๐คฃ#id say delete later but i wont
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