#then they’re stuck together on the long ass flight and in the hotel room for days on end

[odessastone]

Earlier I had a game with an Ashe and Cassidy duo who were engaged in what I can only describe as a Lovers’ Quarrel.. They spent the first half of the game fighting with each other, spamming “NO” at the other and jumping to their deaths. Honestly I was mad but it was also funny as hell. At one point the Cass went up to her and said “I’m your huckleberry.” To which she replied NO. and he promptly turned and jumped off the map

[banannabethchase]

Mutually Assured - also on AO3

~

They're all snowed in at the hotel before a taping at Dynamite. They also all got there super early to avoid being caught together. What could possibly go wrong?

~

For day one of my Damn It December prompts: Snowed in!

~

“Okay, maybe you were right.”

Willow leans back on the bed, grinning. “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.” She narrowly dodges a pillow from Kris. “Be nice to me now that we’re trapped in a hotel room together.”

“Trapped my ass,” Kris says. She gets onto the bed next to Willow. “It’s barely snowing. And it’s northern Texas. It’ll chill out soon.”

“So you say,” Willow mutters. She stretches out. “Oh no, we might be stuck here all weekend. How terrible.”

Kris sighs. “Yeah. What the hell could we possibly do with the time?”

~

“This is a disaster,” Matt moans, dropping his head into his hands. “It’s December! Why is there snow in Texas in December?”

“It’s one little storm,” Mox says. “Cheer up, you little whiner. It’ll lighten up soon.”

Matt glares at him. “How can you be so sure? What if we end up all The Shining in the hotel?”

“We won’t,” Mox says. “Because there’s only a few wrestlers here yet, and we’re outnumbered by normal people. I think the only people confirmed here are you, me, and Tony. Maybe I saw Daniels, but I’m not sure.”

Matt sighs and leans back in the hotel desk chair. “That just makes me worry that everybody else’s flights will get delayed and we have to run Dynamite with four wrestlers.”

“We’d figure it out.”

~

“They’re gonna find out.”

“Nobody is gonna find out,” Yuta says, exasperated. “You panic about this every single time.” He rolls over and looks unfairly cute all propped up like that. It’s one of the reasons Adam got himself into this mess. “And every time, we get here early enough that we can hang out before I got to my own room. You don’t need to worry as much as you do.” He sits up. “Actually, I can help with that.”

Adam laughs as Yuta grabs his hips and pulls him down on the bed.

~

They take their time in the shower, with the best water pressure Adam’s had outside of his own home, and Adam’s yawning before long.

“It’s snowing outside,” Yuta says, peeking his head out. “Hangman, it’s snowing.”

“It’s Texas,” is all Adam can think to say. “How is it snowing?”

Yuta turns with a grin. “Weather, dumbass. But now you can actually breathe. Everybody’s flights are going to be delayed now. No way we’re gonna get caught.”

Adam relaxes. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re not gonna – dude, let’s go workout together. We never get to do that.”

“We just got out of the shower,” Yuta says, “and I’m cozy. Let’s go in the morning. Nobody’ll get in until Wednesday.”

~

“I’m bored,” Willow whines, rolling over on her stomach.

“We just put our clothes back on, Willow, I don’t know what else to do for you.” Kris leans over and kisses Willow’s shoulder.

Willow pouts. “We had that museum tour and now it’s been cancelled, and I’m going to be sad and whiny about it.”

“Not on my watch, you aren’t.”

Kris gets up and grabs Willow’s ankles, and Willow shrieks in between giggles. “We’re going to the gym,” Kris says. “We never hit the gym together. Nobody’s really here. We can get all weird about each other and make out on the benches.”

“Okay, well, that might be a little much. But yeah.” She stretches. “I could go for some weights.”

~

“The snow stuck,” Matt says, peering out the window. “See?”

“So, we get extra time together,” Mox says, smacking Matt’s ass. “Chill out. We can hang and, like, make out with each other the whole time. We can get breakfast together.”

Matt lights up. “Breakfast!” he says. “Oh, that’s cute. We can get breakfast together and I can get fresh brewed coffee!”

“We can get fresh brewed coffee,” Mox says. He yanks an arm around Matt’s waist and presses a kiss to the side of his head.

“You don’t drink coffee. You drink coffee-flavored milkshakes.”

~

Adam’s halfway through a brutal sprint on the treadmill when the door to the gym opens and –

“Oh, fuck.” He goes to stop the treadmill and do…something. But then he pauses. His hair is up. He has his glasses on. Maybe Kris goddamned Statlander won’t recognize him.

And maybe she won’t recognize her former best friend who is stretched out on the bench shirtless after a lot of very sweaty, very sexy reps.

“Yuta,” Adam hisses. No response – the headphones are doing their jobs. He whips the empty water bottle at him. “Yuta.”

“What the fuck, man?” Yuta half yells.

It’s just in time to catch both Kris and – Willow’s attention.

“What the fuck?” Yuta and Kris say at the same time.

“You – are you two dating again?!” Adam asks.

“Are you two – oh, god!” Kris says. “I knew it! I knew Yuta was getting laid! Wills, you owe me ten bucks!”

“You had a bet about me getting my dick wet?!” Yuta asks. “No, wait, what the hell are you two doing here?’

“What are you two doing here?” Willow asks. “Me and Kris – that’s old news. How did this,” she gestures between the two of them, “happen?”

“Leave it alone, Willow,” Yuta says, and it’s a very cute kind of threatening.

“Look, this is easy,” Adam says, stepping off the treadmill. “If nobody talks, then we’re all good. Mutually assured destruction. We won’t say shit if you don’t say shit.”

Willow and Kris look at each other, then shrug. “Alright.” Willow says, and there’s always that sparkle in her eye. “Fine. Deal. As long as you wipe down that nasty treadmill before I use it.”

Adam nods. “Deal.” He wipes down the treadmill and goes over to the weights. “I was right,” he says, when Yuta comes to spot him. “We got caught.”

“We got caught by Willow and Kris,” Yuta says. “That’s nothing.”

Adam does another press, feeling a delicious burn in his shoulders. “I guess so. At least it wasn’t –”

“I’m just saying maybe we could try you filling the mug at least half with coffee before dumping in the creamer!”

The whole room freezes as Adam drops the weight onto the rack and turns his head. “Oh, no.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“Are you fucking the EVP?!” Yuta asks. “Again?!”

“You’re – that is my sworn enemy!”

“You can’t just assign yourself my sworn enemy,” Adam says. “Mutually assured destruction.”

“And what,” Matt says, “is that supposed to mean?” His hair is up in a weirdly perfect messy bun. Adam knows that look. He’s just been railed out of his mind. He’s usually in a better mood after that.

“Nobody here says shit to anybody,” Yuta says. “We keep our mouths shut, you all keep yours shut, nobody finds out about this.” He looks at Mox and then at Matt. “When the fuck did this happen?”

“Can we not?” Kris asks. She’s doing bicep curls with the biggest weights Adam’s seen anyone hold in one hand. “I just want to get a pump in before we all run back up to our hotel rooms and pretend this never happened.”

Matt shrugs. “Works for me.”

The silence is awkward, but with headphones on Adam’s able to get back into the zone. They’re all finishing up at the same time, which is making it even more obvious how weird it is.

“So,” Yuta says, slowly. Adam sort of wishes he didn’t say anything. Now a conversation is expected, and Adam just wants to get upstairs to do nothing for the evening. Possibly with Yuta’s dick in his mouth, but he’s not picky. “Anybody have something to recommend from room service?”

“The mac and cheese was pretty good,” Mox says.

Adam’s slowly moving toward the door. “Cool, mac and cheese. Time to go, Yoots.”

They’re almost in the clear when a familiar bald head comes into view.

“Oh,” Adam says. “Daniels is here.”

~

Mini Playlist:

Touch - Little Mix

Winter Wonderland - Bing Crosby

Merry Merry Merry Frickin' Christmas - Frickin' A

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - Bing Crosby

[crazyfreckledginger]

Jason Todd x Reader - “In The Pale Moonlight”

After a one night stand, Jason doesn’t seem to be able to get his mind off you. Desperate to get you out of his head, he hesitantly agrees to go to Wayne Enterprise with his brothers for work, as a response to scrutiny from the general public. What happens when the person he was trying to erase from his memory pops right back into his life?

Requested by anon and on Wattpad: “Can I request one where reader and one of the boys are dating but they act like they still trying to get each other so they flirt a lot and stuff even if everyone knows they’re together”/ 

“And other one where the reader is feeling herself and singing “Meet me in the pale moonlight” by Lana Del Rey in front of one of batboys and they’re like wow she cute and kiss the readeeeeeer (they’re dating and they’re teenagers)THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU 💕” /

“haha well I have another which was that the reader is harley and Bruce's kid and she meets  batboys but jason since she knew before she left  for the first time since she was away for wayne industries business meetings”

A/N: I hope you guys don’t mind that I tweaked it a little since these requests don’t have alot of depth individually!

“I’m just here for a drink.” the girl smiled politely even though she was extremely uncomfortable. 

“I am too, can I have it with you?”

“Oh for crying out loud leave her alone, don’t be such a creep.” The man at the end of the counter groaned.

“Mind your business.” the creep gritted his teeth.

“Your disgusting aura is polluting my drink so it makes it my business.” (Y/N) watched as he stood up and walked towards the pair. Now that he was closer, the woman could see how attractive he was up close, stunning eyes, sharp jaw, tall and a streak of dyed white hair, “Fuck off will you?” 

“Who do you think you are?” 

“Sorry, I forgot a world, fuck off please.” The stranger shot the man a terrifying glare and without another word, the man studded away, like a dog with its tail between his legs. 

“Thank you mister, but if he laid a hand on me I would have sucker punched him.” 

“Mister huh?” he smirked, sitting beside her. 

“Well what’s your name then?” 

“Jason, pleasure to meet you.” 

****

“This is your place?” she hummed, fingers running through his soft hair as his lips trailed down her neck, pulling her legs around his hips.

“Mmh hmm,” 

“You rich or something?” the woman breathed out as he sucked on her skin. 

“Something like that,” he murmured, pulling away to tease her lips with his. Jason stared deeply into her eyes.

“What are you waiting for, lover boy? You brought me here.” (Y/N)’s arms hung loosely on his shoulders, occasionally touching the back of his head.

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, hooking his hands under her legs and carrying her to his bedroom.

****

Glancing at her side to the soft breathing of the naked man beside her, she shuffled, stretching and yawning. What a night, she tried moving her legs but winced, what a night indeed. 

“Good morning princess,” his morning voice was incredibly attractive as his arm slid around her waist, pulling her flush against him.

“Mmh, good morning,” the woman squirmed in his grip as he nipped at her ear teasingly with his teeth, “what time is it?”

“You have someplace to be?” he murmured, hand caressing her naked hip.

“Yeah, I have work.”

“On a Saturday?” 

“Self employed.” 

“Nice!” 

****

A month or so later, Jason was frustratedly sitting in the meeting room, chewing on his lip in boredom as Bruce brought all of them to a meeting at Wayne Enterprise for less scrutiny from the public eye. 

“The person we will be working on for the new design is going to arrive soon so I need you all on your best behaviour.” He glared at all the boys. 

“Yeah yeah, can we just get on with it so I can leave?” The second oldest rolled his eyes. 

“Mr Wayne?” as if on queue, the person knocked on the one-way privacy film that covered every window of the room, the blurred figure waiting patiently on the other side. 

With a last scolding glance to everyone, Bruce strutted over, opening the door and smiling.

“Good morning Mr Wayne.” the woman greeted with a polite smile.

Jason’s eyes widened, and stayed that way even when he made eye contact with the girl. She responded with the same reaction, but quickly regained her composure and greeted the other boys. 

“Oh hey (Y/N),” Dick waved to his roommate, “you look great.” He flirted.

“...Um hey,” she greeted hesitantly, feeling a little uncomfortable with his usual ways in the professional setting.

“Shall we get down to business.” Bruce glared at his eldest son.

****

“You don’t have to act so grumpy.” Jason rolled his eyes as they finally arrived at their hotel in Europe after an excruciatingly long flight. 

“I’m tired, I need sleep.” Not wanting to address the elephant in the room, especially when she was this exhausted, she scurried to the bathroom to slip into comfortable pyjamas and landed right into bed, “I’m having this conversation tomorrow, good night.” 

The next day came quickly and (Y/N) opened her eyes reluctantly, wanting to melt in the comfortable double bed she was in. Discreetly, she peeked at the double bed facing her diagonally. 

The woman frowned, it was empty.

“I’m right here.” the man voiced from behind her as he exited the bathroom.

“Jason!” she screeched, “what the hell! Don’t creep up on people!” 

“Well don’t try to spy on people when they are sleeping!” he threw his damp towel to her.

“Ewwwww!” she grimaced.

“Chill, I was drying my hair with that.” he walked towards his bed, and she only now noticed that he was naked -- with a towel around his waist obviously. Steam was emitting from his skin as it glistened still.

With warm ears, she pulled the covers over her face, eyes peeking out discreetly.

“We’ve seen each other completely naked, I don’t see what the problem is, if you’re going to look, be shameless,” he moved his butt from left to right teasingly, “you can see this regularly if you want,” he chuckled.

With a sigh, she buried herself under the covers. 

“I haven’t changed my mind Jason, I’m sorry, I’m not interested in commitment at the moment.” 

She felt a weight on the bed and hesitantly took a peep out. Jason was laying on her bed, shirtless but with some underwear on.

“At least give me the benefit of the doubt for this trip.” he gave her the puppy eyes. Eying him suspiciously, she sighed.

“Alright, fine, don’t disappoint.”

****

A few months or so later into the relationship with Jason and gotten closer to his younger brothers, (Y/N) slipped on a comfortable T-shirt, watching herself in the mirror as she tidied her hair a bit and examined the hickey on her neck.

Swaying lightly from side to side to the song that was stuck in her head, she hummed softly to herself, setting out her clothes for the day.

“You don't have to give me anything

Just put your sweet kiss kiss on my lips now baby”

Walking back to the mirror, deciding on whether or not jewelry was necessary, the woman continued.

“Think about you almost all the time, all the time and-”

 “I love you so much baby,” he breathed out from the other side of the room. 

“Hmm?” she glanced in the mirror. 

“Keep singing~” 

“No,” she stuck her tongue out playfully, “are you ready?”

“Do we have to go?” Jason whined, marching up to her, slapping her ass and squeezing it before hugging her from behind, nuzzling her hair, his warm skin against her.

“Baby of course we do, we have to hide the fact that we’re together, plus they are fun, we’re all friends here.” she rubbed her butt against his hips and he bit her ear. 

“No teasing,” he whispered in her ear, turning her around and pushing her against the dresser, “or else.” 

“Or else?” the woman chuckled, “but seriously though,” her hands cupped his cheeks as he stared at her lips, “we can’t act like a couple, it’s unprofessional,” 

“Technically I don’t work at the company,” 

“And the person I’m working with is your dad.”

“Adoptive, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Just a coffee, maybe a lunch, and then we can come straight home.” 

“Mmh, okay,” he pouted, holding her tightly as she kissed his lips and pulled away. “You sing beautifully, please do it more for me.” he pouted. She chuckled, shaking her head slightly in embarrassment.

“Put a shirt on and let’s get ready, I don’t want to be late!” (Y/N) ushered, “and the sooner you’re out of here, the less anxious I’ll be that your brother unexpectedly enters his own home and sees you in it.”

When they were ready, at a somewhat reasonable time, they drove there as quickly and responsibly as possible.

“Why is your hand still on my thigh?!” (Y/N) jumped once she realised he had discreetly snaked his hand back on her thigh when he was parking the car on the side of the road, in a surprising proximity. Slapping his hand away and giving him a look, the woman slipped out of the car and walked up the stairs, ringing on the bell.

Jason scurried up beside her, slapping her butt playfully before pushing the door open. 

“Hey guys!” she grinned, not having the time to scold her boyfriend once again as she was greeted with welcoming smiles. 

“How have you been?” Dick teased, having seen her just yesterday.

After playful banter, and not-so-playful for the brothers, over a nice hot drink, a new topic came up.

“How was the party yesterday (Y/N)?” Jason inquired, knowing fully well about it but trying to seem inconspicuous, “I hope no one stole your heart, that’s for me!” … or not.

She paused, giving him an unimpressed look, reluctant to answer “It was great, and no.” 

“No what?” he smirked. Her cheeks burned, she did not like being put on the spot to lie, especially since this was incredibly unnecessary.

“No one did anything.” 

“To who-”

“This is embarrassing, we know you two are a couple,” Damian nearly gagged. 

“Huh?” (Y/N) turned to him, feeling her soul leave her body.

“How do you know?” Jason looked at him.

“It’s been a while.” Dick chuckled.

“We been knew 💅,” Tim rolled his eyes.

“Someone left someone’s underwear in an awkwardly obvious place when I came around… and you slapped her butt before you came in here, everyone saw it.” Dick explained, watching his brother.

“OH MY GOD, JASON!” 

“I didn’t- wait, how do you know that it’s her underwear???”

The eldest’s expression fell and he blushed. 

“I might have um-” 

“He accidentally came in when I was packing my bag to leave for the business meeting in France okay?” the woman spluttered. 

“You did WHAT?”

Comments, votes and feedback improve motivation, writing and publishing, so it is in your best interest to leave some! :)  

Want to be tagged? Let me know in whichever way you are the most comfortable with!

Tagging: @lumifuer​ @ijustwantmyshipstobehappy​ @plethora-of-things @xlatinaaxx​ @lostnliterature @batette​ @schweeeppess​ @gearsinice​ @mizmahlia​ @tina8009 @disa​ @caswinchester2000​ @brooklynalpha​  @jason-todd-squad @vix360​

[troubatrain]

the times when things got hard...

two blurbs following want you to want me

read the rest here!

Matthew was having a hard time.

Everything was just bad. Changes were coming in Calgary and Matthew was falling behind for the first time in his life. He was down to the third line, he couldn’t score a goal to save his life, and while he was falling apart - he was enviously watching you succeed. Matthew had maybe three more weeks until you’d be at his doorstep from a training camp you had to attend. He was being patient, trying desperately not to call and make you feel upset for not being there when he was having a rough time. He’d been on his own for long enough, Matthew knew how to handle it, but everything was different now.

You were the first person Matthew talked to in the morning and the last one he talked to before bed. Your apartments in your cities had both of your names on the leases. Every piece of the homes were littered with relics of both of your accomplishments. Those things were important to your relationship, but the only thing Matthew had yet to do was lean on you for emotional support when he really needed it. Chantal once told you it might never happen, years of watching his father come home with nothing short of a smile on his face and advice to his kids to just leave it on the ice.

And you were fine with that.

Well, you were trying to be fine with it. You knew Matthew was having trouble, cringing when you saw him snap a stick in half in the penalty box the night before. He had bags under his eyes, exhaustion clear in his voice over Facetime right after. Those things were obvious, but when you were bed alone and Matthew didn’t ask you once for phone sex, you knew he was down bad. So you snuck a flight to Canada, keeping your secret to yourself until you unlocked the door to your shared apartment.

You put your things away quietly, throwing on a pair of Matthew’s sweats you were secretly missing because all of the ones you’d stolen just didn’t smell like him anymore. You missed him more than you realized, down the way he always made your coffee in the morning, and even though it wasn’t the way you usually drank it - you took it with a smile.

Then you heard a door slam, causing you to jump. You’d caught the last bit of the game in the car, listening to the radio with your cab driver who had nothing kind to say about the current state of the city’s hockey team. It wasn’t pretty, a ten minute major throwing Matthew out of the game and just as you suspected, he was pissed.

“Babe?” You call out, stepping out the bedroom and taking Matthew in. Fresh black eye, cut above his brow making it clear that even if he’d won that fight it wasn’t pretty. His tie was long gone, loose around his neck with a few buttons undone. He looked sad, a deep sigh leaving his body when he finally saw you.

Matthew didn’t say a word, emotionally overwhelmed to the point where he was speechless. You were standing right in front of him, like he desperately needed you to be. He didn’t have to ask, beg for you to be there for him, and something about that was so important to Matthew he didn’t have a word to describe it.

“I’m awful,” Matthew mumbled, pressing his head into your neck. You could feel the tears freely flowing from his eyes. Your heart was breaking, a guilt washing over you that maybe you could have been there sooner.

“Matty, you’re having a tough time right now but that doesn’t mean shit and you know that,” You try to reason with him, running your fingers through his overgrown curls. He shook his head no, his fingers digging into your hips, “Babe look at me.”

“No,” Matthew shook his head again, and you just took a deep breath, “Everyone wants me out of here, you’ll probably be next.”

You grab his hand, holding it out for that same silly handshake Matthew made up when you started dating. His lips twitched, forming a smirk while he slapped his hand against yours. Left, right, and a sweet kiss to your lips just like he always did, “I’m not going anywhere… except for back to camp.”

“You’re allowed to be here right?” Matthew questions, voice raspy and his lips ghosting over yours. It was a weird guilt he felt, like you’d left before you were supposed to for him and that if you were in some shit it would be his fault. He never wanted to be the reason you felt held back, a constant battle with his own selfish need to want you around but his unselfish want to see you flourish.

“You needed me and I’m here,” You whisper, leaving out the part where you really shouldn’t have left but if you were back by Monday nobody would know you were ever gone. You grab his cheeks, gently wiping away a few stray tears that had fallen from his eyes, “Please don’t ever think you’re a burden for talking to me about the hard times. I’m here for the good and the bad, the way you’re playing isn’t

going to change that.”

“I love you,” Matthew mumbles, pulling you into his chest and pressing his lips to your forehead, “And I missed you so much-”

“I did too, we have some time to make up for, I think,” You look up at Matthew, who had a smug smile and his brows raised at you. His hand landed on your ass, a chuckle following.

“I think my dick missed you the most.”

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

****

She’s barely even with him.

It was one comment on your instagram photo, some stranger deciding they knew more about your relationship with Matthew than you did. A series of comments followed, all because Matthew insisted on using that stupid rocket emoji on your picture, all of them the same.

I heard it’s all for PR so he doesn’t look like a bad guy.

He’s definitely cheating on her.

It wasn’t just that, things had been hard on you lately. You hadn’t scored in weeks, your loss column just getting higher while wins seemed to slip out from under you. Every part of your body was sore, that terrible habit you had of pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion was hard to break. It was even harder when Matthew was all the way in Canada and he couldn’t be there. You didn’t want to complain about it, there were plenty of times you weren’t there for him and whining wasn’t helping either of you, but you needed to see him.

You deleted the text on your phone a thousand times, a please come see me cry for help that Matthew couldn’t answer. He was on a road trip in New York, and there wasn’t anyway possible he could leave. Besides, it would’ve been unfair to put him in that kind of position.

Except Matthew knew you were struggling, keeping tabs on you while he was away because that was part of being a good boyfriend. Every loss your team took was breaking his heart, and you were way too stubborn to admit when you were upset. Which is why he started with a simple text.

Hey, I love you, and I’m proud of you.

No answer.

Matthew furrowed his brows, laying back on his hotel room bed and wondering if you were mad at him. Did he miss something? There was no way, a promise Matthew made to himself that he wasn’t going to fuck this up for himself by forgetting something as simple as an anniversary. He settled on Facetiming you, and when the phone only rang once before you ended it, he knew you ignored him. He called, two rings before you finally picked up, sniffling into the phone.

“I’m still enough right?” You whisper, your position much like his all the way in New York. You were laying in your bed, the one you’d shared with your boyfriend dozens of times, trying to fight off your own personal demons.

“You’re everything to me, you know that,” Matthew rushed out, his eyes widening at your words, “Babe-”

“You wouldn’t cheat on me?” You ask, Matthew mentally trying to figure out if he could swing a quick trip to Chicago and be back to play the Rangers by seven the next night.

“Never in my fucking life,” Matthew promises, shocked that you’d even think that. You were different, and he didn’t play games when it came to your relationship, “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“It was just some comments on my Instagram picture about how we’re barely together, and, fuck, Matty they’re right,” You cry, Matthew was silent on the otherside of the phone, “I miss you and I can’t see you and I knew this would happen-”

“They’re not right,” Matthew growls, running a hand through his hair, “Y/N, I love you more than anything else in this world and if you asked me to hang it up tomorrow I would. Except you wouldn’t, because this is special, and fuck what other people have to say about it.”

“Promise?” You whisper, wiping your eyes and taking a deep breath, inhaling whatever scent was left of Matthew’s on his hoodie you were wearing.

“Yeah you’re stuck with me babe,” Matthew hums, smiling when he finally heard you let out a laugh on the other side of the phone, “I’m ordering you dinner, and go relax because you have a game tomorrow.”

“You have one too you know,” You muse, feeling lighter than you did when he called.

“First one to score wins?”

“Oh you’re on!”

“That’s my girl.”

[the-green-maiden]

Supernatural Fair Fight Livestream Recap with timestamps

(based off of the notes I took while watching live. any errors are mine and not the fault of the cast or abrams)

21:01 Panel Starts. Misha introduces panel- Stacey Abrams, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padelecki, Erik Kripke, Berto the ASL interpreter.

21:02 Stacey Abrams talks about how she got into SPN. Talks about running for governor(?) in California(?), having trouble gathering support/campaign funds. On a particularly bad day, ends up watching SPN in her hotel room. Loves it, ends up watching the whole show after this. Quotes “Even if it’s hard we can’t stop” and “who else is going to do this” and talks about keeping going.

21:05 Kripke: “Wow”

Ackles: “That’s one of the most beautiful interpretations of what we do, how we tell the story.”

21:06 Kripke: “Grateful we could provide inspiration” 

21:07 JarPad: *reiterates above* joke about how “Kripke’s writing is questionable at best.”

21:08 Misha: “The reason we tell stories is to inspire people” creates an allegory about the ‘invisible enemy’ of voter suppression with the invisible enemy trope common in storytelling. “As we made the show, we were taking inspiration from [Abrams]”

21:09 Kripke asks Abrams to tell more about Fair Fight

21:09 Abrams talks about a secretary of state(?) [whose name I didn’t catch but who JPad refers to as ‘Lucifer”] who was in charge of voter registries in Georgia who wrongfully removed thousands of voters from lists, closed essential polling locations, and prevented people from voting, which disproportionately impacted POC and youth voters, and led to 8+ hour wait times in remaining locations. Abrams tells of how her and FF acted to fix this and change the whole system for the better. “If this becomes about politicians, no one is going to care, but when it becomes about people’s [list of basic rights and essential services]...” “...Patriotic belief that democracy means that if you’re eligible to vote, you get to be heard. Fair Fight is committed to ensuring that every voter in the US has the right to vote, and we are pretty good at it.”

21:16 Misha voices concerns about Trump’s attempts to make the 2020 vote counts seem unreliable.

21:17 Abrams gives an in-depth history of voter suppression in the US, committed by both parties at various times, including restrictions on mail-in votes, ID laws, and something about the voting rights act.

21:18 A bunch more panelists join in, including Jake Abel, Felicia Day, and a number of other SPN cast members.

21:19 Abrams says that in Texas a gun license is a valid id to vote, but a college id is not. “Everyone should get to participate, not just the chosen.” Mentions that she has not seen the final 3 episodes yet, request no spoilers until she logs out.

21:22 Kripke thanks Abrams for her political work.

21:22 Felicia Day says she was very excited to meet Abrams at Dragon Con.

21:33 Misha and Kripke try to move panel along to comply with Abrams limited time availability.

21:24 Rachel Miner “We all admire you [Abrams], you’re our hero.”

21:25 JPad gives a long speech thanking Abrams that was too fast to write down verbatim. “It’s important that everyone have their own voice” says it’s an honor to meet Abrams.

21:26 Bob Singer asks a question about Purdue(?) not showing up to a debate.

21:27 Abrams gives a detailed answer about swing states, swing voters, the lack of swing voters in Georgia, and the relatively small impact that Purdue(?) missing a debate would have on his numbers. Long speech about mail-in voting.

21:29 Sebastian Roche asks a question about run-off votes. Abrams answers.

21:30 Rachel Miner asks a question about voter registration descrimination against people w foreign names.

21:31 Abrams talks about how this has happened and what Fair Fight is doing to combat it, and how Fair Fight’s legal actions have managed to significantly reduce the amount of mail-in ballots thrown out for having difficult to understand names on them.

21:33 Shoshanna Stern thanks Abrams for her efforts in making voting more disability accessible.

21:34 Abrams answers, gives more info on the subject and the importance of having accessible voting locations.

21:36 Jim Beaver says it’s wonderful to be able to talk to Abrams, etc.

21:37 Abrams realizes her time has just about run out, and says thank yous and good byes. Mentions that tomorrow is her birthday. Multiple members of the cast wish her a happy birthday. More goodbyes from everyone, and thank yous to and from Abrams. Abrams exits call.

21:39 Kripke and Misha encourage people to donate to FF

21:41 Misha and Jensen rib each other, joke about an open bar.

21:41 Misha “Now we’re just going to waste your time for half an hour now that she’s gone”

21:42 Curtis Armstrong tells a short story about his mother, who was a voter activist in Detroit and Switzerland, and how nice it was to see Abrams talk.

21:43 Trivia intro. Multiple jokes made at the same time about state capitals.

21:44 Jim Beaver “When my kid was 7, I asked her the capital of Vermont and she said V”

21:44 Kripke asks semi-serious question about what JPad wore as protection in the ball-crusher Japanese game show scene in Changing Channels.

21:45 JPad “A thimble. A mini-thimble. No, a cup.” says something else about the cup.

21:46 Ackles “Our special effects team likes to go above and beyond”

21:46 JPad comments about real fear in that scene

21:46 Misha tries to get trivia back on track. “Without powers, what does Dean say Cas is?”

------[Baby in a trenchcoat]

“Other name of the Impala?”

Julie McNiven guesses “A special place”. Someone calls out “baby”

-----[Metallicar]

“Name of Sam and Jess’s friend who goes with them to the bar in the pilot?”

Even JPad, who was in the scene, does not know. Kripke comments that it was named after an irl friend of his from Tiuanna, named LUIS.

“5 works Kripke ripped off for SPN?”

Everyone guessing at once, including: Animal House, On The Road, Good Omens, Constantine, Star Wars, and several others.

“What herpes medication does Sam have to do a commercial for?”

[Herpexia]

21:52 JPad and Julie rib each other about herpes meds, and argue whether the term is prescription or subscription for medication. One of them brings up the example of having a subscription to dog food.

21:52 Jake Abel “What if your dog has herpes?”

Misha “I only hope that Stacey Abrams has tuned in”

Seb makes another joke about state capitals, then asks JPad the capital of Albania.

Jared has no idea, guesses ‘new albania’

Seb “Tirana” talks about having lived on a boat, presumably near Albania.

Rob Benedict: “Thanks for tuning in”

Bob Singer asks who knows the story of Seb getting a massage at VAncouver airport.

Jared (paraphrased) “We all fly through Vancouver airport a lot. Just past security there’s a massage place [with the chairs where you face the floor].” One day JPad and Ackles went through security and saw Seb getting a massage. They go over, convince the masseuse [who knows them all at this point] to let JPad take over. Seb does not notice, despite the fact that the masseuse is a small woman and JPad is holding his hands weird to try to make them smaller. JPad says he put his hands down Seb’s back and up his shirt, and Seb still did not notice, just making a noise and saying ‘very nice’. JPad gets as far as groping Seb’s ass before Seb notices anything is up. This is still the middle of a busy airport.

21:58 Seb “It was strangely sensual. Thank you, Robert, for bringing that up.” “I was perturbed for the whole flight back.”

Ackles “Another highbrow story”

Seb “It’s really fun being on that set. It really is” Claims they are also serious sometimes, to which there is laughter in response.

Ackles “It going to be like that on The Boys, Krip?”

Kripke “No massages to completion”

Seb “Wait there was no completion”

Krip “Saw photos of [Ackles’s] supersuit today”

Multiple jokes from several people about Ackle costume for The Boys being assless, crotchless, entirely made of paint, and cowboy-themed.

22:01 Misha “time for about 5 minutes of outtakes”

Someone jokes about adding ‘give Seb a massage’ as a donation tier.

Misha thanks the fans, says he loves and misses all the cast. Asks Rob B to sing.

22:02 Rob B “tune into my radio show” [for singing]

22:03 Misha announced that $225,000 has been raised for charity so far in the stream.

More thank yous from everyone to everyone, including the zoom team.

22:04 Seb “Vote out Mitch McConnel:

Jensen “Such as British accent to tell us who to vote for”

Seb “I’m half French half Scottish”

Jensen and Seb joke about scottish and french alcohols, and how they can’t be mixed.

22:05 Kripke thanks the fans for 15 years. Everyone else joins in on thanking fans for 15 years.

Jake Abel “There was a big gap in there for me somewhere”

Seb asks if Jake was in the first season.

22:06 Jake “3rd, 5, and 15”

Seb gives long thank you speech.

Jensen talks about how the cast is sticking together “This group is not being dispersed”...”I take comfort in knowing this” jokes that they’re stuck together whether they like it or not.

Misha “Like herpes”

Felicia “Genital or otherwise”

22:07 gag reel begins, including Misha’s ‘on-camera finger, Jensen falling off a chair “furniture could use some work”, Jensen failing to pick a lock for a very long time and Jared asking ‘Cas” to open it, Jensen saying ‘hail misha’ instead of ‘hail mary’, Misha failing to keep a straight face while looking at Alex Calvert, Jensen eating something too hot(?), and more that someone has probably already uploaded in full anyway.

21:13 stream ends.

[johnkrrasinski]

No Light, Dead End; 

full masterlist

Pairings: Steve Rogers x female!reader

Word count: 2,812

Warning: SMUT!!!! slight dub-con. slight dark!steve but with feelingsᵀᴹ.

Summary: takes place after civil war and before infinity war because who is she? we don’t know her. after the avengers were divided due to the accords, you went on the run with steve, natasha and sam. during on the run, your relationship with steve had been going through a rough patch until one day, you decided to leave him. but he made sure that you knew who you belong to. 

a/n: this one is for @mariessecretfantasies​‘ 500 follower writing challenge! i chose prompt #8 ““No light, no light in your bright blue eyes. I never knew daylight could be so violent.” No Light, No Light- Florence + the Machine” i wanted to write something anguish but with a hint of darkness, just enough to spice it up. cause we all love possessive, slightly crazy steve, right? 😌 please leave a like & comment! enjoy. 

You stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door behind you. You just had another quarrel with your grouchy boyfriend, Steve. He wasn’t always like this though. He used to be the heroic face of America after all… Used to be. He was a man with perseverance, sagacity, and altruism. All his life, he wanted nothing but to help others. To serve his country. But all that changed since the Accords.

The whole country decided to turn its back on their favorite golden boy aka Captain America. The man they used to look up to and call out for when miscreants exterminated the city and when aliens invaded the planet.

He was a man with assertive morals, never doubting his purpose and his will. And the whole world agreed. Until his best friend, Bucky Barnes was accused of the bombing of the UN in Vienna and was shortly located where he had been hiding for the past couple of years.

Steve Rogers had faith in his former best friend who could barely remember him when he said that he wasn’t the one who committed the crime. But the whole country didn’t. And so, through all the battle at the airport in Germany, and the unauthorized flight to Siberia and the grievous alteration of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes to a group of wanted felons, you stuck and stayed with him.

You had faith in the man you fell in love with a year ago and you knew his true heart. That deep down, no matter what the world paints him to be, you will always believe that he was still the same selfless hero. A battered soldier with nothing but pure intentions. He had lost so much in his stolen lifetime, so you understood his desperate wish to keep his best friend alive and out of heavily guarded prison.

And so, after the final battle with Tony Stark in Siberia, Steve and Bucky agreed that it would be best for everyone if Bucky went back to cryostasis chamber until Princess Shuri finds a way to fix him. King T’Challa had made peace with the fact that Zemo was the one who murdered his father, and he realized that Bucky was only a victim just as much as T’Chaka was, so he allowed him to stay in their land and agreed to mend the broken man.

After Bucky was back under the ice, Steve went back to The Raft and reunited with Sam, Wanda, Scott, and Clint, releasing them out of the Arctic prison facility. Whilst, Wanda and Vision agreed to lay low and started a secret life together in Scotland, Clint and Scott went back to their residents under prohibition.

You, Steve, Natasha, and Sam on the other hand, went on a run, as a group of uncivilized nomads, living in crummy motels and working vigilante jobs in the dark. You changed your looks and camouflaged within the crowds. And this was the turning point.

Your relationship with Steve hadn’t been the same since the fallout. He became rougher around the edges, sterner, and crueler. Some days, you couldn’t even remember what his genuine smile looked like anymore. How his eyes used to gleam so brightly, you could see your lucid reflection on them. How he’d hold you so tightly, you felt nothing but his warmth after he passionately made love to you for hours.

How did you get here? You had lost count of how many times you had fought with Steve Rogers. Small sparks of fire growing into a massive one, burning the entire house down. You could feel the heat all over the room when his voice roars so loud and your words cracked through your lips due to the unwanted tears threatening to fall.

Hurtful words were tossed, if the walls could talk, they’d tell you the lunacy that echoed night and day when you and Steve are going at it. You two were crazy, mad people in love. Or at least you used to be. Not only him who changed after the Accords, but so did you. You became more reticent, more practical, and more indignant.

Whenever you were on stealthy missions, Steve would always order you around like you were nothing but a fellow soldier. He’d talk down on you like there was no history between you when you disagree with him. Whenever you made the slightest mistake, he’d deprecate you like you were a delinquent, untamed child.

Sam and Natasha were aware of the lingering tension in the room when you two were on bad terms, but they didn’t know how excruciating it could get behind closed doors. Whenever you stared into his electric blue eyes, you didn’t find the same vivacity or earnestness anymore. All you sensed was rage and darkness.

Darkness so steep and hollow, that sometimes you’d find yourself getting lost and trapped in them. Like he could devour you and crush you by a single fist of his palm. Deep down, you wanted to get your Steve back. The considerate and faithful man you fell in love with. The man who would bring you flowers from his morning run because they just reminded him of you. The man who would kiss your shoulders in the morning to gently wake you up, because he didn’t have the heart to disturb your peaceful state, but he needed to hear your voice.

Often times, you’d wonder if it was still possible to go back to the way you used to be. But he had been so hardened by the arduous circumstances now, that it sounds like a fairytale if you could go more than 5 minutes to have a decent conversation.

“Fuck you, Steve! You don’t fucking get to tell me what to do, you hear me?”

“Yes, I do! I’m your Captain. Watch your language.”

“I don’t fucking care. You are not the Captain anymore. You ungrateful asshole! I can’t believe I stuck with you after you became a criminal. You don’t fucking deserve it. You don’t fucking deserve me.”

“What are you gonna do, sweetheart? You’re gonna run back to the compound and sign the Accords? Well, guess what? The first thing they’re gonna do as soon as you show your pretty little face, is they’d cuff you up. And when they lock you up in the Raft, I’m not going back to save you ass.”

“I don’t fucking need you to. I’d rather be locked up in the middle of the Atlantic ocean rather than spending one more goddamn second with your grumpy, irritating ass.”

He stayed silent. His back was to you now. His shoulder slumped as he leaned his hands on the table. He listened to your hasty movements as you stormed into the bedroom that you hadn’t shared in a while. Since you two had been at each other’s throats nearly every day, he’d sleep on the couch while you get the bed.

The truth is, Steve still loved you just as deeply. But things had changed, and he couldn’t pretend that everything was okay just because he was still madly in love with you. He had to be tougher now, he constantly had to watch his back. He couldn’t afford to be distracted even for just one second when the whole world was looking for him and the entire country wanted him penalized.

He also had to be hard on you, because you knew that if any of you let your guard down, you’d be doomed. You could be caught. Or worse, you could be killed. Not only the villains who wanted you dead now… Thaddeus Ross had made it clear that if it’s necessary, he wouldn’t hesitate on shooting any of you on sight.

So he tried to forget the man that he was, stripped himself out of the Captain America mantle, and lived as Nomad now. He was fine with that, although it took him a while to get used to the slummy hotel rooms or sometimes, abandoned safe houses. And Nomads don’t maintain a lovey-dovey relationship and kiss each other dearly while cleaning each other off in the shower.

No, Nomads creep in the shadow and have each other’s backs in combats. Even if it means one of them had to be the meaner guy. As long as his allies were safe and returned in one piece, then that’s all that matters. He couldn’t care any less if they no longer liked him as a comrade.

And the thought of losing you terrified the shit out of his soul. The kind that he couldn’t shake away because somewhere, deep down, he knew it was inevitable. This line of work didn’t promise him safety insurance. Literally and figuratively, now that he was no longer claimed by the government or the Avengers.

So if talking to you as if you were nothing but a fellow soldier will remind you that you both no longer had the luxury to plan your next date night or cuddle in the sheets at night to keep each other warm, then he was going to do what’s necessary.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear you pack up your bags and stepped out of the room with your travel bag in your shoulder. You didn’t have that many personal belongings anyway. When he stole the Quinjet, you couldn’t go back to the compound to pack up all of your stuff and say your farewell to the rest who stayed, so along the way, you bought just enough clothes to have something to wear other than your battle gear. So most of your things were left in the compound, just like the entire journey over 5 years with the Avengers.

Steve and you had said a lot of things neither of you really meant when things were heated up, but he could live with that as long as you were safe and he could keep an eye on you. He’d let you have your moment of tranquility, knowing that when daylight comes, you’ll have to fight another day and bleed.

He thought that tonight was just another night where you two claw each other’s skin but would act as if nothing happened last night in front of Sam and Natasha. You had threatened to leave more times than he could count but you never did it. Just like the rest of the things you said. Meaningless contempt.

But this time, you were out of your mind. You really could be such a force to be reckoned with sometimes. That’s why he fell in love with you in the first place, but it would often drive him crazy too. And not the good kind.

He turned around and saw you sprinting toward the door. You were dressed in all black; black jacket, black shirt, black jeans, and black sneakers. He was confused at what you were doing but he maintained his calm posture and stayed in the same spot where he had been standing, with his hands on his hips.

“Where the hell are you going?”

“I’m leaving. I can’t spend one more goddamn second with you. I’m done.”

Steve didn’t even try to hide his panic. He really thought you were joking or maybe you were going somewhere to calm your head, then you’d come back. But no, you were really leaving this time.

“Hey, hey! Don’t be fucking ridiculous. You are not going anywhere.”

“Yes, I am. And you can’t stop me.”

“Stop acting stupid and just calm down for a sec.” He reached out for you but you flinched, not wanting to hear any more of his bollocks.

“Get your fucking hands off me, Steve. Before I break every single one of your fingers.” You swatted his hand.

Suddenly, his demeanor changed. You saw it in his eyes, the flash of that shift. The one that you had been seeing a lot these days. The alteration from Steve Rogers to Captain America. Or more suitably, America’s Golden Boy to The Most Wanted Criminal. You’d be lying if you weren’t a tad frightened by that darkness in him, but you weren’t going to lay it out on your hands and present it to him. You were no coward.

Rest in peace, to your naive bravado… Your headlessness had backfired.

Steve slammed you into the wall behind you as he grabbed you by the throat, inching his face closer to yours. You could hear his labored breathing, sweeping on your skin, his eyes glared at you, locking you in place.

Your hands immediately went to his, trying to break free out of his tightening grip, cutting off your airway. “S-Steve…” You tried to get him off of you by striking his face, but he still wouldn’t relent. He immediately dragged you to the couch, as you nearly stumbled on your feet.

“You think you can just run and leave me? Stupid girl. Looks like you need a reminder of your place.”

“St- Steve! Stop!” As your back hit the couch. You tried to stand on your feet but was abruptly stopped by his hand on your shoulders, pushing you back down. “Shut the fuck up.” He grabbed your waist as he turned you around, so you were reclined on your chest. His hand immediately went to grab a fistful of your hair as he whispered into your ears, “you really wanna push my limits huh? Riling me up like a stupid little brat, thinking you can get away with it. Hell no. I’m gonna show you the consequences of your foolishness, little girl.”

Then he slammed you back down as he immediately pulled down your pants with your underwear along with it. You thrashed your body, trying to push him away but it was futile. Steve lifted up your hips, so you were standing on your knees. Then you felt a harsh smack on your ass, eliciting a raw yelp out of you. He did it once more, and more, and more, until your tears started to leak out of the corner of your eyes. You lost your ability to speak, trembling from the excruciating pain.

Just when you thought the torment was over, you heard the clank of his buckle as you instantly turned around to see what he was doing. The hastened glance was enough to verify your fear. You immediately pushed yourself on your hands and attempted to get up but you couldn’t as he quickly pushed you back down with his massive hand and held you there. His other hand went to his cock as he lined himself up to your entrance, intruding your body violently without any warning.

His hand that was on your back, went to your other hand along with the other, to pin them behind your back as strictly as a cuff. Then he began to drive his hips into you until he was fully seated. He groaned due to the pleasure. He slammed back into you and out. He repeated his motion until you couldn’t help but feel the tightening coil inside of you. He startled you in your hazy state with another spank on your ass. You squealed.

“I can feel your cunt tightening around me, little girl. See? I told you you could never leave me. You belong to me. Only I can make you feel this good.” He gritted between his vigorous thrusts. You couldn’t even focus on his mortifying words anymore when you could feel your climax was approaching. You were so close. A few more slams by his hips and then, you fell apart.

You moaned in pleasure as your release was prolonged by his still unrelenting thrusts, attempting to reach his own climax. You closed your eyes in bliss, as you could feel the fight in you had drained. You couldn’t think of anything else or remember the way you ended up being fucked hard on this couch. You were still lying in the same position, with your face pressed on the couch and hands restrained behind your back as you heard Steve groaned from behind you.

You could feel his warm cum unleashed deep inside you as Steve pushed a few shallow thrusts to deplete every drop of semen. When he was completely finished, he pulled out of you and unloose your wrists as he sat on the couch. You were paralyzed. Despite him not holding you down anymore, you still couldn’t find the energy or will in yourself to move or carry on with your plan.

You were too wearied to start any altercation anymore so you just laid there as your eyes started to droop. Before you were completely dazed out, a gravel voice whispered to you like the sound of the wind blowing; subtle but crystal. “I’m not done with you yet, babygirl. I’ve got all night to remind you who you belong to.”

[the1918]

I love all your evanstan headcanons so much, they’re so perfect for them. Do you think Chris bottoms ever?

(I was so excited when I got this over a month ago and then for some reason waited this long to answer it, sorry!)

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: First off, a fic rec: I really like this one Evanstan fic and I think about it a lot (“a smorgasbord of ass play”, as the tags say, topped off—heh— by an absolutely gorgeous flip-fuck scene). It’s called “coloring by numbers” by claudia_flies and I highly recommend it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t develop a few of my own personal Evanstan head canons concerning Chris and his relationship with his own ass from that fic.

In the specific fantasy Evanstan world I’ve built in my head, I think that once Seb introduces Chris to ass play (which for some reason I don’t envision happening at first, not when they’re just fooling around, it takes until they’re in a relationship) and it turns out Chris really likes it, when he’s in the right mood? It sort of evolves from there.

I imagine that... it starts with an exploring finger during a blowjob in the shower.

It starts with Seb’s knees planted happily on that wet tile floor, looking up at Chris questioningly through the water droplets hanging from his pretty eyelashes. Chris’s own eyes go wide but he nods— more eagerly than he intends to but he doesn’t care, everything that he and Sebastian do together always feels safe. Seb slips one wet finger inside and Chris comes in Seb’s mouth on the spot.

After that it’s not necessarily a regular thing, but it’s also not entirely infrequent. I’ve written before about Chris’s first rimjob and I do imagine that something like that is what “happens next” (and sweet Jesus does Chris love it when Seb licks at him down there). I bet Chris— with flawed preconceived notions about what two men do together during sex, notions that are slowly being chipped away at through his relationship with Seb—  is surprised to find how well that ass play fits into their dynamic in the bedroom. He shocks even himself the first time he finds himself demanding it out loud while he’s fucking sweet Seb’s throat, when he asks, “You gonna be good and make your man come hard tonight, baby boy? Yeah? C’mon— yeah, that’s it, find that sweet spot, be a good boy and give it to me right. Fuck, gimme ‘nother finger babe. Be sweet, get me open like I got your throat open.”

But still, taking a dick up his own ass, that… that feels different to Chris. It is different to Chris. It’s already done wonders for his own internalized toxic masculinity to get to experience being Seb’s top and dominant, to see first-hand how being a man and getting fucked is, in fact, not an inherently degrading act (it’s an act of worship, of love and devotion when Chris fucks Seb), so I don’t think that would be the source of his hesitation. 

Instead, I think it’s the emotional rawness associated with really letting another person in you, with allowing someone to penetrate you. It’s scary. It’s real. It’s incredibly difficult to feel like you belong only to yourself when you’ve got someone else taking up a physical space inside of your body, but then again, Chris hasn’t belonged only to himself since Sebastian came into his life.

Chris tops. Sebastian bottoms. That’s just how it is between them, how they both like it to be, and that’s how it stays until one particular day less than a year into their relationship when Chris is having an especially bad run with his anxiety.

It’s been simmering for almost a month, well into month two now of Chris not having a chance to see Seb, thanks to the complications of their still-secret relationship and filming schedules. Chris has wrapped up his job but Sebastian’s is still going for another several weeks and Chris has also been fighting with his agent about a few things and he’s got a press tour coming up that he’s not looking forward to and he’s starting to feel like an exposed nerve, cracked open and raw and hurting, and he… he needs to see Seb. He needs to touch him and hold him and he needs to be held himself. He makes the decision to do it and then he’s on a plane out of Boston Logan International Airport within the next four hours. He texts Seb only once he’s landed.

I’m here. Sorry. Which hotel do they have you in.

He’s had the entire flight to think about it and Chris thinks he knows what he wants. He’s got a plan. He’s going to wrap Seb up in his arms and kiss him breathless and then he’s going to start to feel in control of his life and his emotions again once he gets to see the way that Seb melts beneath him… But then he’s actually there, and he’s knocking on Seb’s hotel room door and Seb is opening it with an alarmed, concerned expression. There are tears of frustration finally falling from Chris’s eyes.

Chris’s whole plan goes out the window.

His kisses are desperate; raw. Chris is pouring emotion out from between his lips and Seb is catching it, trying to be the calm in the middle of a troubled storm. He’d known before Chris even got there that something about the night is going to be wildly different, but he still doesn’t expect it when Chris rolls them over so that he’s on his back with Seb on top of him and croaking out—

“Want you inside of me, Seb, baby. Please.”

Seb opens him up with the lube Chris had been carrying in his back pocket, even if it isn’t being used for the reason Chris thought it would be when he’d stuck it there. He goes slow because his fingers being inside of Chris aren’t new but the expression on Chris’s face is. He feels a little sting of hesitation when Chris lets out a husky whine of, “Seb… Seb honey I’m ready, just fuck me,” but he’s gone this long already without ever once ignoring a command that Chris gives him in bed and he’s not about to start now.

Chris is not prepared for how different Seb’s cock feels compared to just his fingers. He feels like he’s being split open when Seb pushes in, is about to ask Seb if this is how he feels every time when Seb beats him to it, swallows his noises and shushes him, “it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay Chris, it gets better.”

(Chris can hardly believe that part. He is vulnerable beneath the man he loves and he is bursting at the seams with Sebastian; he doesn’t know how it could get better.)

It does change, just like Seb promises. By the time Seb is moving inside him the feeling goes from too-full too-much, a blissful stinging stretch that crushes on his lungs from down beneath his chest, to an almost overwhelming kind of pleasure that burns him from the inside out. Chris had gone soft against his own stomach at the initial penetration, but it’s the new drag against his insides that makes him fatten up again and start to leak. He learns he can clench down and make Sebastian gasp like that.

The night isn’t technically flawless, but it is exactly perfect. Seb hasn’t fucked anyone in a long time so he has to stop a few times and squeeze at the base of his own cock to keep from coming too early. They share whispers of “I love you” between “harder” and “so good” and “please”. After a while they figure out the angle that lets Seb’s cock head rub over Chris’s prostate on every thrust. Neither of them last very long after that.

It’s not what Chris expected it to be like when Seb spills up inside him, bare like they’ve done it for months now. He thought it would feel hot but it doesn’t, just... wet. It leaves him feeling open and sloppy in a way that reminds him thoroughly that Seb just used his insides to make himself come and it’s that thought— that feeling in his chest, that relieved smile melting across his own face— that makes Chris feel like he might understand now why so many people prefer to be loved from the bottom.

(They shower and cuddle afterwards, of course. Chris tells Seb everything he’s already told him over the phone but with a different kind of context now. Every stress in his life. Every night he couldn’t sleep because he missed Sebastian too much to even understand it himself.)

 masterlist [x] 

[suckerforsmylex]

Little Red Riding Hood - Pt. 1

For my O.G. nonny who requested Lil’ Red, I’ve revamped it slightly and if you guys like this, I’ll bring back the remaining chapters and finish this one out. Enjoy and watch out for a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 🐺💋

“Jackie, get the fuck in here!”

Nikolai was always an asshole, but he was in an especially shitty mood. He didn’t like waiting and I had made him wait with Jackie at the trap house for over an hour. I misplaced my car keys and had to toss my whole apartment for them before I left. I was stuck in bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic before I finally got there.

They thought I was backing out and were arguing loudly when I knocked on the door. First, there was silence as Nikolai checked me out through the peephole. Then, the sound of the deadbolts unlocking and the chain coming off the door. The door opened abruptly and I was greeted with a shiny, special edition glock to the temple and forced into the kitchen.

Nikolai yanked Jackie by her skinny ass arm and pushed her down into the chair next to me. “You have thirty minutes to learn how to swallow this shit and then get it all down, Red. I’m not fucking around. You don’t want to fuck this up.” He slammed down a bottle of vegetable oil, an industrial size box of condoms and about 100 packets of heroin stacked high on a plate.

“Nik, what the fuck! That wasn’t the agreement. I’m not swallowing that shit,” I yelled out and backed away from the table. “What the fuck do you mean that wasn’t part of the agreement?!” Nikolai was waving the glock around and sweating profusely. “She’s taking the shoes, babe. I toooold you Lana’s doing the balloons! You’re such a fucking tool.”

Jackie was in the middle of laughing when Nikolai backhanded her across the face. Her lip was bleeding, but she just sniffled and wiped at the blood with her sleeve. She was still laughing a little. I couldn’t stop looking at her track marks.

“Fuck…right…um…come here, Red I don’t have all day here,” Nikolai said impatiently as he walked over to the closet. He pulled out a pair of black, Gucci wedges. “There’s 50 packets worth of H inside of each shoe. Well, not so much inside as they’re part of the fuckin’ fabric. My guys liquefy it and shit.” Nikolai stepped back smiling. He was proud of himself. The shoe method of drug running had worked everytime.

“So don’t be fucking around with these shoes on, they’re delicate. Take the plane into Gotham International then go to down to the East River Pier. Falcone will send a guy to come and pick you up at the airport and take you to the yacht and that’s where you make the drop. I’m giving you $2K up front and you get the other $7K when you finish the deal.”

I pulled off my Prada flats, put on the wedges and shoved the money Nikolai gave me into my tote. “$10K, Nikolai. They’re supposed to give me $10K altogether. So maybe you’re supposed to give me $3K?” I stood there with my hand out. Nik rolled his eyes and peeled off another $500 and shoved it into my hand. “Tough shit. That hour you made me wait cost $500, bitch.”

“Fuck Nik, I need that money!” I screamed out. I needed that money badly. I was a high-end shopping addict with a penchant for prescription pills and liquor. I owed money to a grimy loan shark and was late by three weeks on the vig. I was holding him off with heady flirtatiousness but he was becoming increasingly inpatient. He threatened to slice my face with a razor the last time I walked out of my apartment.

“Take the shoes and get to the fucking airport Red.”

——-

I waited on the packed TSA line behind a mom and her two kids and prayed for no drug sniffing dogs. I had my docs ready and handed them over to the TSA officer. “Scarlett Agnelli.” He said my name like he was reading a weird recipe he googled on the internet. It was strange hearing my government name. Everyone I knew called me Red. He looked me up and down. I smiled a toothy grin and he gave me a wink. “Have a nice flight, beautiful. Take care of yourself.” I never have any trouble with men. At least at first. They all pretty much high tail it when they discover I’m a lunatic.

I waltzed my way through TSA without ringing any alarm bells and even had time to visit the M.A.C. store before boarding the plane. At least Nikolai sprung for first class this time. I ordered a glass of white wine, swiped on a bit of red lipstick, spritzed myself with perfume and threw on my red cape. It always got cold on the plane and I wanted to snuggle up for a nap.

I woke up and we were throttling into Gotham International. The snow was starting to fall over Gotham making it look like the inside of a snow globe. I turned on my phone and sent out a text to Nikolai to let him know I landed. I freshened up with a little Evian spray and combed out my long brown locks. I grabbed my carry-on and set out to meet whatever goon was sent to get me.

I stood outside on the arrivals platform looking around. Gotham was beautiful at night and even though it was cold, I didn’t mind waiting. I pulled the hood of the cape over my head so my hair wouldn’t get damp with snow. Pretty soon I’d be collecting my money and be snuggled up at whatever boutique hotel they put me up at. I was already thinking about the mini-bar and room service.

A low voice woke me up from my thoughts. “Hey there, little red riding hood. I’ve been waiting for a sweet thing like you all night.” I looked up to see a very pale man with slicked back green hair and cool blue eyes. I gave him a once over. He was dressed in a white button down shirt and black trousers. His shoes were expensive as was his watch. His extended hand was covered in gold rings. His look was a little strange, but I decided he was suitable to drive me.

Falcone must have sent one of his made men. I guess he stepped up his game because of the amount of H in these shoes.

I shoved my carry on toward him. “Is this going to fit in there?” I motioned over to the purple Lamborghini by pointing at it with my mouth, my chin coming up slightly and my lips pursing. He started laughing uncontrollably. His laugh chilled me to my core but I couldn’t help but be curious. I decided then and there that I was up for a little adventure. He couldn’t touch me with all this H on me anyway.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” He grabbed the bag from me and our fingers touched. I felt an immediate spark of heat. “Scarlett, but call me Red, everyone does.” He rolled his head to the side and snarled. “Red. I like that.” He drove like a maniac, peeling out, not stopping at traffic lights, blowing stop signs and generally being a nut case.

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Hello? Precious cargo over here. Do I have to remind you that I’ve got the product on me? You’re attracting unwanted attention. Falcone is going to slice your balls off if we get pinched, sweetie.” This got his attention. “Falcone?” He asked in a soft purr. “Yes honey, your boss. What’s your name anyway?” He grinned a wide smile and I could see his metallic teeth.

Fuck. Falcone has some seriously scary people on the payroll. He’s pretty hot too but he’s about as sharp as a spoon.

“Call me, Mister J.” I took my phone out and started getting driving directions to the pier area. “Ok, Mister J. Where are we staying tonight? I need to rest so we can make this drop bright and early tomorrow at the pier. Listen, I’m looking for 5-star but I can do 4-star if Nikolai forgot to make the reservation.” He leaned towards me with a wink. “I know just the place, doll.” His eyes were undressing me. It was nothing that I hadn’t experienced before but this felt different. I found myself flushed and hot. “Can we roll the windows down in here?”

“Sure Red, anything for you.” J smiled and put his hand up to my cheek. The coolness against the warmth building there was explosive. We parked outside the hotel and I tried to get myself together. “Did you bring the other shoes for me?” I asked curiously. “Shoes?” J had opened the car door and was standing over me. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, allowing me to admire and the tattoos that peaked out from underneath. Suddenly he snapped his fingers.

“Stay with me, kitten, you were saying something about shoes.” J grinned at me again and I had to look away to keep from melting. “Yeah, I can’t keep wearing these. I’m wearing the H you know?” He knelt down and started taking the shoes off of me. He slipped them into my tote bag and left my stocking covered feet shoeless.

“I’ll carry you.” J’s eyes were burning through me. I was slick between the legs and my breasts were swelling beneath my blouse. I was so enthralled by his gaze that I didn’t hear the texts buzzing in from Nikolai telling me that Falcone’s guy was at the airport and where the fuck was I because he was still looking for me.

[kenzieam]

Want to Waste - Chapter One

Rating: M

Warnings: Drama, angst, language, smut and bad language

Word Count: 1768

Tags: @jewels2876​​  @moonbeambucky​​  @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​​  @iammarylastar​​ @captstefanbrandt​​  @badassbaker​​  @pinknerdpanda​​  @oliviastan17​​ @mizzzpink​​​

***************************************************************

Lev and Bucky don’t get along but always seemed to get tossed together when their respective fiance’s, Steve and Nat, have to work on another project together. The last straw comes when Steve and Nat have to bail on a long anticipated vacation and Lev and Bucky decide to go anyway. What could possibly happen between two wounded people in paradise?

***************************************************************

“Oh, its only you.” Lev remarked, dropping into the booth.

“Yup,” Bucky drawled, leaning back insolently and resting his arm across the back.

“Nat late again?”

“You know it. Steve too?”

“You see him stuck to my ass?”

“Touché, Red.”

“Sorry.”

“Have a drink, maybe you’ll actually loosen up and sound sorry.”

Lev stuck her tongue out at him, rolling her eyes and he curled his lips in a wolf smile back.

The server appeared, having already brought Bucky his first drink a couple minutes ago.

“And for the lady?”

Lev considered something snarky, the guy was eying them like they were together or something equally outlandish. “Sea Breeze.”

“Ooh, doesn’t that, like, have sugar in it?” Bucky quipped, affecting a surprisingly accurate ‘Cali from the Valley’ accent as the server left.

“Thought I needed that.”

“Take more than sugar to sweeten your salty ass up.”

“Fuck off.”

“You fuck off.”

“Aaannnndddd I see they’re getting along just perfectly without us!” Nat announced, dropping in beside Bucky with a smirk.

Bucky forgot his glower across the table for a minute and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his girlfriend’s cheek. “Work?”

Nat gave him a side-eye. “Of course, baby.”

“Sorry, sorry!” Steve sing-songed, bouncing Lev slightly when he fell beside her. He pressed a loud kiss to Lev’s cheek while Bucky made a face at her, which she returned with a curled lip. “Patterson keeps dropping these new projects on us.”

Lev swallowed her irritation and forced a smile. “That’s alright, we only had to share the same table for a few minutes.”

“Yeah, Lev didn’t even have time to really unsheathe her claws.” Bucky added helpfully.

Nat and Steve traded a look before dropping it, this argument had gone so far past old it was almost new again.

“So? What did the old man unload this time?” Bucky asked, pulling his attention away from Lev and looking again at his girlfriend.

Nat shared a look with Steve. “Another realignment of assets.”

Bucky growled, sounding displeased. “Like what… that one a few months back? You didn’t get home any time before ten for like two weeks!”

Lev felt her heart sinking, the same displeasure Bucky was showing heating her skin. That was the trouble with dating someone high up in their profession, one Steve Rogers, compounded by the fact that they worked with your best friend, Nat Romanoff, and so you were always getting left with their asshat boytoy, James Barnes, Nat’s long-time plaything, whenever they got held up at their office.

“It won’t be like that.” Nat replied, flicking a glance at Steve, who replied by dropping his head to Lev’s and nuzzling into her hair, trying to tease out a smile.

Lev bit back a reluctant giggle, still feeling irritated. Bucky was right, Steve had been AWOL too, and always tired when he finally did come home. “Can’t you pass it on to someone else?”

“Not if you want that fancy wedding.” Steve murmured, his voice tender, lips tickling her ear, making her shiver.

Lev leaned back, pushing at Steve’s chest. “That’s not me, I told you I wanted small, you keep adding people to the list.”

“You too?” Bucky chuckled, glancing across the table before looking fondly at Nat. “Every time I think we have the guest list settled; this little minx thinks of five more people to add.”

Nat flicked him a mild glower before rolling her eyes at Steve.

“What are you all having?” Steve changed the subject, lifting the menu to peruse it.

*************************************************************************

Three Weeks Later

Lev raised a brow as Bucky approached, looking past him with an increasingly disbelieving scowl. “No, not this time.”

Bucky shrugged as he reached her side, drawing his compact aluminum wheeled suitcase to a stop beside him. “She said she’d meet us here directly from the office.” The overhead announcements continued above them, announcing incoming and outgoing flights in a brisk monotone.

“That’s what Steve said! Dammit, they better not be late, this is the first vacation we’ve had in forever.”

Bucky lifted his shoulder again. “They cancelled on us last time.” He reminded her.

“Yeah, with two days notice, not when we were standing right in the damn terminal!”

“Easy, Red.”

“Stop calling me that!”

Bucky smirked, looking past her and gesturing with his chin. “Go have a drink, calm down.”

Lev fixed him with a glare. “You talk like that’s all I do, throw fits and drink.”

For the briefest second, something besides a smirk hovered on his face. “Sorry, I just like teasing you. You’re cute when you get pissed, like a wet kitten.” At Lev’s surprised look he hurried on. “I mean, I have to entertain myself somehow, sometimes it seems like I spend more time with you waiting for my fiancé than I do with her.”

Lev looked away, too weary to continue the spat. It was true, it seemed like lately she and Bucky were always getting dumped together when their significant others had to bail, but that didn’t mean Lev was going to just accept it happening again.

“Not this time.” Lev growled, wondering vaguely if the sheer power of her thought vibes would be enough to hurry Steve along and get his ass here in time.

Glancing at her, Bucky strode past, his case trundling behind to sit near a large wall of windows, various jets visible on the tarmac beyond and, sighing, Lev turned to follow.

******************************************************************                               Lev glanced at her phone screen, knee bouncing agitatedly. She stopped in surprise when Bucky’s hand appeared and rested briefly on her leg, pulling away before she could slap it.

He glanced mildly at her and Lev swallowed her angry retort. It wasn’t Bucky she was pissed at anyway.

“Want a bottle of water or something?” He asked casually.

In answer, Lev’s cell began to ring, and Lev focused on it, holding her breath; then, as Bucky’s began to chime as well, she fought not to moan.

With a quick glance at each other, both answered their respective phones, a mix of frustration, anger, resignation and sadness growing on both their faces for anyone watching to plainly see.

“Whatever, Steve.” Lev mumbled, hitting the end button. She glanced over at Bucky, staring down at his phone, having already hung up with a similar goodbye.

“Nat?”

“Who else?”

“Gotta work?”

“Yep.”

“Dammit.” Lev snarled, taking several long, deep breaths to calm back down.

“Well,” Bucky declared, struggling to sound airy, “this was fun, see you around, Lev.” He stood, straightening his shirt and glancing back towards the terminal.

“Wait, you’re just leaving?” Lev asked, a kernel of an idea forming in her mind.

“Yeah,” Bucky answered, frowning down at her. “Nat’s not coming, the vacation’s off.” He spoke slowly, as if Lev was somehow mentally deficient. Anger tightened his jaw, he wasn’t letting on to the same degree as she was, but Bucky was just as disappointed and pissed off as Lev.

“No.” Lev replied, mind racing. “No.” She looked up into Bucky’s wary eyes. “I paid for a vacation, I took the time off work, I’m going on my goddamn vacation.”

Bucky’s frown deepened. “But Steve’s not coming.”

“So? I hardly see him anymore, anyway, how is this any different?” Lev began to speak faster, warming to the idea. “I’m going.” She announced simply, standing, Bucky’s startled gaze lifting to follow. “Steve can waste his ticket, but I’m not. I’ve been looking forward to laying on that beach for months.” She started to march towards the gate then turned to eye Bucky. “What about you?”

Bucky shook his head, confused. “What, go on this vacation with you instead?”

Lev shrugged airily, feeling strangely free. “No, not with me. It’s a big beach, we have separate hotel rooms; we don’t even have to see each other after we land, but are you going to let Nat wreck another trip for you?”

A shadow passed over his face and he looked out through the windows, watching the planes for few beats. “No.” He replied, almost curtly. “No, I’m not. Let’s fucking go.” His face was all hard determination when he looked back at Lev. “You’re right, not again.”

Lev faltered, suddenly rethinking her previous conviction. What was she saying? Go to a tropical resort with someone not Steve? As quickly as the hesitation hit, it melted away. She wasn’t going with Bucky, she was simply flying in the same plane, staying in the same hotel, beyond that they would be entirely separate. “Not again.” She replied firmly.

A surprisingly attractive grin flashed across his face, stunning Lev for a moment then he grabbed his phone, a trace of annoyance bleeding back into his eyes. “Gonna tell Nat.”

Lev grabbed her own phone, tapping Steve’s icon. “Yep.”

******************************************************************************              Lev relaxed back into her seat, grateful that she’d paid the extra for the upgrade. In the row in front of her, Bucky rummaged for something in his carry-on.

“What?” Steve asked, sounding supremely confused. “You’re going?”

“Yeah,” Lev grinned at the flippant tone in her voice. “It’s non-refundable, maybe you’re fine losing your money, but I’m not.”

There was a beat of silence on the other end and Lev could imagine the thoughts running through Steve’s head, all being rapidly dismissed for sounding too selfish or privileged. Finally, he replied. “Well, if you’re sure.”

“I am. I have Bucky for company anyway.” Lev blinked, where had that come from?

Steve huffed faintly.

“C’mon, Steve. You leave him with me all the time. Besides, we’re not going to do anything.”

“No, I know.” There was something in his voice, the beginnings of guilt. “Lev, I’m sorry.” He sounded genuinely remorseful. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

She’d heard that before. “I’ll call you when we land, okay?”

“Okay, and Lev? I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Bucky’s head appeared over the seat. “Do you have any gum?”

Lev smirked, pulling out a pack and tossing it his way.

Later she drowsed, lulled by the sound of the engines, the comfortable seat, the warmth of the sun through her window. She didn’t regret leaving, not yet anyway but she did genuinely miss Steve beside her.

A body thudded into the aisle seat, Steve’s seat, startling her. Bucky grinned merrily back at her bleary glower.

“C’mon, Red. Don’t be like that. It’s weird sitting by yourself, besides, my screen’s not working.” He reached up, flicking on the viewing screen in the headrest of the seat he was just moments ago sitting in.

Lev grumbled and rolled partially away, her eyelids growing heavy again.

[lollercakesff]

And They Were Strangers

Jyn Erso has been prepping for this for months. Years even, if you count the endless hours she'd spent running pools and hosting watch nights with her college roommates. She'd choreographed hundreds of dollars in auctions for remaining teams and had led multiple nights where her and her friends cooked their way around the world with the country of the week. The memories were great, sure, but to say she didn't feel a connection with this path in her life would be a lie. Something drew her in, tied her up, and convinced her that this - this - was the thing she needed to do before she died.

And now it was time. She was ready. Mentally… Physically… Hopefully.

AN: Will I finish writing this? I have a plan... But is it worth my time?

But the path to her next adventure was currently being blocked by some too-tall goon with haphazard hair and piercing dark eyes who kept getting in her way. First at check in, then in line for security, and now at the boarding gate. They’d practically been together, crossing paths and crashing each other, since she entered this damn airport and it was starting to really get to her. 

"Are you planning on getting on this plane or just standing in the way?" Jyn growls under her breath when the man doesn't move forward with the gate agent's call.

"What - Oh," he leaps forward a step and hustles towards the woman, pulling his passport from his pocket as Jyn sighs and checks her papers again. 

Her new American passport feels heavy in her hand, its empty pages a sign of things to come. She was on her way to Los Angeles where she was scheduled to show up at her first and only briefing for the next season of the Amazing Race. The producers had promised a full day of orientation covering the rules of the race and how the team match up would work before the "trip of a lifetime" began the next day. She was trying not to stress about it but she didn't quite know what she was getting into. 

This was the first season where every team in the race would be a set of strangers. They'd all meet at the briefing but it wouldn't be until the start of the race when they'd learn who their partner was. The producers had billed it as the season of 'fate' where they tried to pick a winning team by pure dumb luck with names drawn from a hat. Or so she'd been told. Who knew how it would really work.

"Next!" The agent calls and Jyn scurries forward, passing her documents over and brushing her bangs from her face. In another second she's motioned through and she's heading down the gangway and onto the plane. 

When she gets to her seat her frustration returns tenfold as the man from before has settled himself in her seat by the window, his seatbelt already clipped and his attention turned towards the action on the tarmac. 

"Hey, you're in my seat," she greets, stuffing her duffle in the overhead bin.

"F? Window?" He answers with an almost-accent and a quirk to his lips. Jyn frowns and steps into the row to let the people behind her pass.

"Yes. That's my seat, can you move please?" 

"I was sure I had the window, I feel claustrophobic if I can't see out - "

"Yeah, I'm sure. Can you check your boarding pass?" She asks, cutting his sob story off before it can even get started. 

"Can't I just have it this one time? It's a short flight," he answers, making no move to relent. Jyn sighs and drops into the seat next to him, her eyes closing tight as she urges the irritation to ease. 

"Fine. But this is bad karma and I hope it comes back to bite you in the ass, asshole," she grumbles the last part, determined to insult him but not loud enough to cause a scene. The man coughs as if to hide a laugh and Jyn hates him even more, pulling up her hood and taking out her headphones.

She was going to spend the next two hours in a music haven, mentally far from this man and the constant bumping of her elbow that came from sitting in the aisle row. Soon she'd be in LA at her hotel and then she'd be on to a new country, with a new language and culture that she'd have to work with to get her team to the finish line. Then she’d do it again and again until they won. Or they lost. She didn't like to think about that last possibility so instead she closes her eyes and hits play.

---

The hotel bed is more luxurious than anything she's ever slept in in her life and when she wakes it's with a curse as she realizes she's almost late to the briefing. Hustling around the room, she nearly crashes onto the floor when her pants get tangled and she loses her balance. Cursing out her alarm, her beautiful sleep, and the time difference, Jyn pulls on her t-shirt just as she pulls open her door and slams into someone walking past her room.

"Shit, sorry!” She gasps as she rights herself and pulls back. When she looks up it’s to find the man from the plane. The one who wouldn’t give her back her seat. The one who’d been a pain in the ass all day. “You!” The man’s eyes widen and he looks around him like he’s being Punk’d, surprise in his brow. 

“From the plane?” He counters, as if he was still struggling to place her. 

“Yeah. What, are you following me? How did you know to find me here?” Jyn growls, crossing her arms. The man cocks his head and furrows his brow, looking at her as though she was crazy. 

“Follow you? I’m here for… A thing that has nothing to do with you. If anything, I’d think you’re stalking me,” he adds sharply. Jyn scowls and shakes her head, her watch beeping with her five minute alarm. 

“Sure. Fine, whatever. I won’t be here long enough to have this happen again. Have a good life!” She shouts as she hurries off down the hall, her hand flung up into the air and her middle finger pointed towards him. 

She takes the stairs down to the conference room because getting stuck in the elevator with that jerk would put her nerves over the edge, their already frayed status from the late wakeup making her more punchy than usual. By the time she barrels into the room and grabs a plate of the breakfast, the producer is calling everyone to a seat. 

Jyn moves towards an empty chair and begins measuring up her fellow racers, her eyes drifting over one person and then the next as they settle in a semi-circle around the speaker. Some of them were incredibly fit, others a bit paunchy but she figured they could probably take her in a memory challenge or two if it came down to it. Most of them were on the younger side, maybe in their twenties or thirties, though there were a few who easily slotted into their fifties at the very least. She didn’t want to be ageist but she secretly hoped she’d get paired with someone who could keep up with her at the very least and she didn’t really peg any of these older folks as marathoners. 

“Welcome, good morning everyone!” A young woman calls out, drawing their attention to the front of the room. Jyn sits up and nimbles on a muffin, trying to look intimidating to the others around her who she assumed were doing the measuring up as she had just been. 

“You’re in my seat,” a voice says over her shoulder. Jyn’s stomach drops and she frowns, looking back to find the man from the airplane and the hallway standing behind her. “Don’t worry though, I’m not going to make you move, I’ll just take this empty one here.” 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jyn hisses, clenching her hands and nearly crushing her muffin to pieces. 

“Nope,” he responds as he sits in the chair next to her. An insult is on the tip of her tongue when the woman calls out again and really takes control of the room, beginning with a welcome spiel before moving right into the security briefing. After the team has explained every terrifying aspect about the world in explicit detail, Jyn looks around the room and finds half of the contestants with a concerned look on their faces, the other half grinning wickedly at the challenge. Beside her the man keeps his expression reserved though his eyes are calculating, the look making her guess whether he was regretting his choice or simply bored. 

After the welcome session, they’re broken up into groups of four and are led to a table in the corner of the room. Jyn sighs a breath of relief as the man is placed in another group, his presence finally dissipating and allowing her to focus on the tasks at hand instead of the prickling skin she felt whenever he was close. 

Hours pass and the contestants are moved around the room to different stations where they focus on different aspects of the game. There’s logic tests and geography quizzes which she passes with flying colours but when it comes to the language skills and memory games she flounders, her attention twisting towards her fellow contestants. She spends half the time trying to measure up where they stand on these activities, who would be best suited to the way she wanted to run this race. 

Her strategy - based on years of watching the show - was to run with brute force. She would power through on the physical challenges and when it came to figuring out a puzzle she was set. She just needed a partner who would be able to keep up and rush into everything just as hard. Smarts weren’t what won you the race, it was being able to push your way through anything and she had trained to do just that. 

“Everyone now has an hour for lunch. Feel free to get to know each other and remember, these folks might be your competition or they might just be the person you cross that finish line with!” The producer from earlier calls as the stations are closed and the participants are left to loiter in the room. 

Jyn feels like she’s in a social experiment as she beelines towards the food table to take a plate. She loads it up with everything she’s going to miss for the next few weeks - caesar salad and french fries and pasta salad that looked too delicious to miss. When she settles at a table she’s quickly joined by a handful of others, the conversation easily picking up from the morning activities.

“I’m Bodhi Rook, you?” The man sitting next to her says around a forkful of salad. Jyn looks him over quickly and notes his tall frame and long hair, his thin frame and open expression. He could be a good partner - she’d seen him race through some of the challenges with an efficiency she admired. 

“Jyn Erso,” she answers, lifting her hand to offer a shake. Bodhi takes it and squeezes it before turning back to his food, diving in as she looks around the table at the others. “You heard anything about how we’re going to be assigned teams?” She asks after a few minutes, her water lifting to her lips. 

“Not really. My group thought maybe the stations were to see where our strengths were so they could match us up better. But I was also told it would be a name in a hat, so who knows what they’re planning.” 

“Yeah, I heard the hat thing too. I hope there’s a little more thought put into it,” she responds with a shrug. Bodhi nods and lets a laugh escape. 

“Either way, I think I’ll be okay. I just like the adventure of it, you know? Don’t really need to win the whole thing,” he says around another bite. 

Jyn frowns and looks at her food, debating internally whether she could be paired with someone who didn’t want to win the whole race. If she had to admit it - though she’d never say it on camera - she wasn’t here just because she liked the show and wanted to see the world. 

She was here because she needed the prize money. 

The thought creeps up on her and she pushes it back down, stuffing it into her chest like too many clothes in a carry on bag. She didn’t have time to think about it now, not when she should be sizing up her competition and thinking about U-Turn and Yield strategy. No. She needed to focus. 

“What about everyone else?” Bodhi asks the table when Jyn still doesn’t respond. She turns her attention to the people around them, listening as first a bright eyed Luke Skywalker and a gruff Baze Malbus explain their motivations before moving on to Leia Organa, a beautiful but strategic thinker, and her cocky puppy-dog-tail for-the-day Han Solo easily admits he’s only here for the money. Jyn can’t help but think he might be her real competition if they don’t get paired together, the gleam of a quick buck in his eyes adding to his boisterous energy. 

Taking another glance around the room, Jyn weighs the rest of her competition as they sit at two other tables. Sixteen racers in total, all with different motivations and experiences that they bring to the table. They’d be eight teams and the producers had all but guaranteed it would be a tough race with all of them having secret strengths that were admitted in their bio videos. Jyn can’t remember what hers ss but by the time she turns back to the conversation at hand, she already knows one thing is for sure - she’s going to win, even if it kills her. 

After lunch they’re broken off into individual briefing rooms where they’re given their racing issued equipment and a final check in with the producers before they’re sent off to their rooms to pack. In the morning they’ll all be meeting in the lobby to hand over their backpacks before heading to the starting line. 

When the race starts their first activity will be finding their matched backpack with a coloured bandana tied to it. The racer with the matching bandana will be their partner for the duration and it will either be a successful match or a story of just how quickly Jyn can crash and burn their team. 

Throughout the evening she tries not to think about it - pushing away thoughts of how hectic tomorrow would be, how much adrenaline is already rolling in her veins and just how is she supposed to sleep tonight? To distract herself she focuses on potential strategies depending on who she paired with in the morning. Baze could work, or she’d even probably be successful with Han if they didn’t rip each other's heads off. Bodhi would be a great candidate - he seemed relaxed and competent, but Jyn didn’t like that he wasn’t driven by the final prize so much as he just wanted to have an adventure. 

No, she could pair with most of the people she’d met that morning. With the very real exception of the man from the plane who she’d learned was named Cassian Andor. There was no way they would be able to work together to even get out of the States, their partnership tanking before they even took their first flight. She was sure of it. And so when she falls asleep that night it’s to the thought that she had a one in fifteen chance of failing and those were pretty good odds. 

---

Morning comes in a rush of excitement and insanity and a paranoia that she’s forgotten something even though she’s checked her bags at least a dozen times. When she gets to the lobby, the assistants take her old bags and mark them with her tags before collecting her race bag and shoving it onto a luggage cart with the other packs. She’s directed to a holding queue where the racers mill about, snacking on the continental breakfast and filling their water bottles. 

Twenty minutes later and they’re piled onto a bus. Thirty minutes later and they’re being placed around an empty field with only the production crew circling them and a pile of luggage in the center of the field. Jyn thinks she spots her bag with a blue tag and she grins, looking around at the nervous faces she was up against. 

“You’ve got this,” she whispers to herself as Phil Keoghan begins his speech from near the luggage pile. Adrenaline spikes in her blood and then there’s a horn and she’s racing forward, scrambling for the luggage pile and her bag with its bandana looped through the arm. She pulls it free and stumbles back, looking around at the other racers as they take in their own colours, desperately looking for their partner. 

Not Bodhi. Not Baze. Fuck, not even Han. She scours the faces and colours until she sees it - blue, like hers! She steps forward, her smile widening having finally found her partner. 

But then she looks up. And her eyes meet her partner’s. 

Dark brown meeting green.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Guess you’re stuck with someone with bad karma,” he says evenly, the nerve of it making her want to pull her hair out. She curses again and grabs for his arm, dragging him towards the clue box for their next instructions. They didn’t have time to waste on pleasantries and witty comebacks, not if they wanted to win. 

She could do this. Brute force was all it would take, right? 

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 74

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @alievans007​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​

They’re scheduled to arrive in Dhaka at ten in the morning; a three hour flight -on a jet paid for and chartered by Anil- that has spent in silence.  Leaving the kids had been harder on them than on the kids themselves; promises to behaving leaving little lips and bright, optimistic smiles on little faces and not even a single child sized tear shed. Completely oblivious to the enormity of the situation; the suffocating weight of stress and worry that burdens their parents, or the anxiety that comes with returning to a place that holds so many bad memories.   Tyler had done his best to rein in the tremendous fear that threatens to devour him. It’s two fold; that Mahajan’s people will manage  to get to them before the job -in both Dhaka and Mumbai - are finished, and the realization that he may never see his children again. That those moments in the front foyer holding them and stroking their hair and kissing their cheeks just very well may be his last.

It would have been so easy to stay. To just say ‘fuck oit’ and tell Anil to find someone else; choosing to stay with his family and keeping tem safe instead of worrying about other people. But he knows there’s no one else; no one with the skills and the experience that he possesses. And he’d given his word; verbal confirmation and a handshake just as good as signing your life away on a dotted line. He’ll do what he has to do to get the job done. To get Neysa and Aarav out safely and stick to his word that he’ll end things once and for all on his end; relying on -and trusting in- Anil to get to Mahajan and stop any and all threats and the man’s power and influence. Without him dead, any work in Dhaka will be for nothing. With the older Mahajan alive, the danger lives on as well; he’ll still  badger Ovi about taking over the ‘family business’ and the threats against Esme and the kids will continue and there will always be people willing to carry out the dirty work. His family would never be able to live in peace; targets constantly on their backs, always having to watch over their shoulders or worry about every little thing that moves in the shadows or goes bump in the night. That isn’t the life he wants. Not for them. They deserve so much better than that. And they’ll only be spared that kind of miserable existence one of two ways: Mahajan’s death or his.

She sleeps for the majority of the trip. Shoes kicked off and legs tucked underneath her, body turned sideways in her seat and her hand on his stomach and head against his chest. It’s a mixture of things; frazzled and fragile nerves, fear and worry, and that crippling exhaustion that she always experiences in the first trimester. Since news of returning to Dhaka -and the danger surrounding it- broke, she’s been extra ‘needy’.  Having to be in near constant physical contact with him; tightly holding his hands or making her shoulder or arm are pressed against him or that her body is nestled into his. He knows all of her fears and worries just as well as he does his own. They’re powerful and all consuming; she can’t sleep without waking up several times a night in a sweat soaked panic, she barely eats, she’s irritable and overly emotional. And he’s tried to give her what she needs; endless reassurances that everything will be fine -whether he believes it himself or not- and long, quiet moments filled  with just holding her as tight as he can and stroking her hair and placing kisses on her cheeks and her temples.

She needs that from him; those times of simple and ‘innocent’ intimacy. That physical connection that exists outside of sex. Letting her desperately cling to him during the more vulnerable and terrified moments; knowing that she’s worried about never getting the chance to be that close to him again. So he holds her while she sleeps; an arm wrapped tightly around her and a hand resting on the top of her head. Feeling her move against him with each slow, soft breath; thinking about how good she smells and feels and how  it’s always seemed as if their bodies -despite the significant height and weight difference- just ‘fit’. Seamlessly and effortlessly moulding together and responding to one another in a way he’d never experienced before. He’d noticed it that first night seven years ago; lying with her in that cramped bed in that crappy hotel room. The way her form would instinctively respond to his; curving against him and fitting into him like a piece of puzzle that he’d never known he’d been missing.   And it HAD scared him; feeling even the slightest bit of affection and tenderness towards someone he’d just met. But it hadn’t scared him enough to get him to stop, or push her away.

His eyes flicker open when he feels her move against him; her cheek rubbing against his chest before she lifts her head and her hand slips from his stomach and moves to her face in order to rub sleep from her eyes. It’s the first time he’s ever noticed so much of Tanner in her. That same disoriented and confused expression whey they first wake up; furrows in the brows and the narrowed eyes and the frown that curves the lips. In many ways Tanner IS just like him; the hair and the eyes and even the same ears and jaw line and mannerisms. But unlike the others -aside from Addie who is already the spitting image  of her mother- there’s so much of Esme inside of Tanner;. And that’s a good thing. A damn good thing.

“Sleeping beauty awakes,” he chides, combing his fingers through her hair; fingers tangled in the dark, silky tresses as he draws her towards him and presses a kiss to her brow. You okay?”

She nods.  “Just a bit of headache. How long was I asleep for?””

“Almost the whole flight. Close to three hours.”

“I didn’t sleep well last night,” she laments. “At all.”

“Well did have five little bodies in bed with us; that might have something to do with it.”

“TJ had his feet in my back all night. And they’re as cold as yours, I swear.”

“You think that’s bad? I won't tell you where Declan had both knees all night.”

She laughs at that, then drapes her arm across his stomach and rests the side of her head against his shoulder. “I am so head achy and so nauseous.”

“You probably wouldn’t be so nauseous if you actually ate,” Tyler points out.

“I can’t eat because  I am nauseous,” she counters. “And we know why I’m nauseous. Can I not have one pregnancy where I feel amazing? Can’t I for once be one those lucky as fuck pregnant women that don’t get sick or have any real problems and always look so gorgeous and glowing and all that shit?”

“You always look gorgeous when you’re pregnant, what are you talking about?”

“Baby, I love you, but I swear you’re fucking blind.”

“My eyesight is just fine. You just don’t see yourself the way I see you.”

“Yeah? And how is that? How do you see me?”

“Some way I’ve seen you from the beginning. Fucking amazing.”

She smiles and presses a kiss to his shoulder and rubs his stomach. “You have such a way with words. Who says romance is dead? No wonder I don’t get rid of you.”

“I can think of a few other reasons why you don’t.”

“You mean how you get things off the high shelves and open really tight jars for me? Or how you get the socks that get stuck at the bottom of the washer and how you get all the snakes and the spiders out of the house?”

“All that too, I guess. I was thinking about the things I do when we’re alone.”

“Oh, THOSE kinds of things,”  she grins. “Those kinds of things are the sole reason I do keep you around.”

“I knew it.” He leans down and presses a kiss to her lips, then the bridge of her nose. “You really aren’t feeling good, are you.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t remember it being THIS brutal with any of the others. “

“I do.”  He pushes her hair behind her ears and over her shoulders, and she gives a giggle when he lays his palm against her face, then a sigh   when his fingers and thumb massage her temples and forehead. “You were pretty bad with Declan.”

“Everything was difficult with that kind. I mean, he was almost ten and a half pounds when he was born. It was like giving birth to a toddler. Addie was nice and easy. I’ll take another Addie; she was quick and effortless and I barely felt a thing.”

“That’s because she barely weighed five pounds. She was pretty damn tiny.”

“But healthy. And that’s what matters. That’s  all I want; a healthy baby.”

“I want you BOTH healthy.”

“Once we get home, I will let you wait on me hand and foot. I’ll let you dote on me and spoil me. I know how much you like doing it.”

“I know how much YOU hate it; being treated like that. Miss Independent, ‘I don’t need no man.’”

“I’ll admit; I do like it sometimes. I do like letting you do all  of that. And I appreciate you that you WANT to do it. I don’t care what you say; you ARE beautiful . You’re cute and you’re sweet and I love you.”

“I know you do. And I love you. More than you could ever know.”  He presses a kiss to the tip of her nose and then moves his palm to her forehead; thumb massaging one temple, forefinger rubbing at the other. “It’s going to be okay.” Those words are more for her benefit than his own; he’s already accepted his potential demise. All he can do is bust his ass to get Neysa and Aarav -and even Nathan- out alive and hope for the best when it comes to himself.  “It’s all going to work out.”

“I think we should go away when all this is over,” Esme muses. “Just us. Even if it’s just for a week. Just me and you. Well, little bean, too.”

“Little bean doesn’t have much of a choice when it comes to tagging alone. How’d that ever start in the first place? The whole little bean thing?”

“You said Millie looked like a bean at the first ultrasound and it stuck. They’ve all been little bean since. It’s cute; all the little names you come up with for the kids. Like your little peanut.”

“It’s ‘cause she is my little peanut. She’s tiny. Like her momma. I’m always going to call her that. Even when she’s all grown up and old enough to get married and have her own kids. I just hope I get to see all of that. I hope I get  to see her first birthday.”

“You will. Like you always say, you’re not a rookie. You know what you’re doing. You’ve done hundreds of extractions. Safe AND successful ones.”

“This isn’t like any of those.”

“So there’s a bit more to it; there’s a lot of obstacles in the way. But I have faith in you. I know that you’ll do whatever it takes to get out of there; to get home to your family. You have a lot of reasons to stay alive. A lot of motivation to walk away from all of this.”

“You’re awful optimistic all of a sudden.”

“Not really,” she admits. “It’s all bullshit. I try to convince myself because if I don’t, all I’ll think about is the worst case scenario. And it’s pretty fucking bad and I don’t want to think about it. So let’s just pretend that everything’s going to be okay; let’s talk like it will be. Because the alternative is NOT something I want to dwell on.”

“I’ll do what I have to,” Tyler promises, as he slowly runs his fingers through her hair. “To get myself out of there. But if I can’t…”

“Don’t,” she begs. “Don’t get there, Tyler. Please don’t. Don’t say anything else.”

“IF I don’t, I need you to promise me that you’ll do whatever it takes to keep the kids safe. You take the money...you empty the bank account of every last cent...and you go. You take them and you go and you don’t look back. Because if even one of these assholes makes it out of there and I don’t…”

“Stop…” Esme pleads. “...just don’t…”

“...you have to go. You take the money and the kids and you go. And you make a life for yourself and them and you pretend like I never existed.  You change your last name, you change theirs. There can’t be any ties to me, you know. So you do whatever you have to to keep them AND you safe. Understand? Tell me you understand.”

“I know what I have to do; we have this talk at least every six months. I know what I have to do, I just don’t want to have to do it!”  She sits up and angrily shoves her feet into her shoes. “I can’t just move on;  I can’t just bury you and pack up my kids and my entire life and pretend that the last seven years never happened. And I don’t understand how you expect me to. I can’t just lose you and forget about you.”

“I never said…”

“Would it be that easy for you? If something happens to me, you’ll just be able to forget I ever existed? That WE ever existed? Is it going to be that simple for you?”

“Nothing’s going to happen to you. Nothing…”

“If I died today, you’d just move on? That would be it? The last seven years will have meant nothing to you? You’ll just get over it? Just move on with your life and find someone else. Is that what you would do?”

“No. That’s NOT what I would do. Because I wouldn’t need to. You have to for a reason. For five...six…” he nods down at her stomach. “...very good reasons. Because if I’m not around, who protects you? Who protects them? It’s not the same; you losing me and me losing you. It’s not. And you know that.”

“I know what I have to do. And I know why I have to do it. I’ve always known it; we’ve talked about it since Millie was a baby.  About what I had to do to protect her. But don’t ever tell me that I have to forget about you. That I have to pretend like you never existed.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t…”

“Because you DID happen. And the last seven years happened! And if something does go wrong and I do lose you, every time I look at those kids I’ll think of you. Every time something good happens or one of them reaches a milestone or does something amazing, I’m going to think of you and how I wish you were there to see it. So don’t tell me I have to forget about you because that’s impossible and it’s unfair. And fuck you for even expecting that of me.”

“Baby…” he lays a hand on the back of her neck. “...I didn’t…”

“Maybe it would be easy for you. Maybe you’d be able to just move and forget me. Maybe the second I’m put in the ground you’d be able to find someone to take my place. But I’m not you!”

“Is that what you think? You think I’d do that? That I’d just find someone else? I don’t want anyone else. And I wouldn’t fucking do that; I wouldn’t just find hook up with another woman and make a new life.”

“But you expect me to do it? You expect me to just move on? Are your kids supposed to forget about you, too? Do I tell your six years old daughter that she has to pretend you never existed? Is that what I tell her?”

“No. Of course not. That’s NOT what you tell her.”

“They’re kids, but they’re old enough to remember you and it’s unfair that you expect them not to. They’re little kids, Tyler! And what you’re asking me to do is bullshit and you know it!”

“All I’m asking you do, all I’m telling you do it…”

“I know what you’re telling me to do. And I know what I have to do. No matter how fucking bad it will hurt. And I’ll do it; I’ll take the kids and I’ll go. But fuck you for telling me that we have to forget you. You’re a fucking dick for even saying that!”

“Esme, settle down,” he implores. “You took what I said totally out of context and…”

“I love you, but I’m tired of this. I’m tired of it and I fucking hate this life!”

Silence descends on the cabin. Sighing heavily, he rakes a hand through his hair and runs a palm over his weary face; observing her  out of the corner of his eye when she begins muttering a slew of profanities.   Fighting as she struggles to get her seat belt done up; unable to  see the clasp through the flood of tears that spill down her face. And when she becomes more frustrated and the quiet tears turn into loud, body shaking sobs, he lends his assistance.

“Calm down,” he gently orders, forehead resting against hers as he tends to the belt. “...please just calm down.”

“You know, considering how many times you’ve made the mistake of telling me to calm down, you’re lucky to still have your dick.”

“Well at the risk of you chopping it off, you DO need to calm down. It’s not just you I’m worried about.”

“Had I cut your dick off a long time ago, I wouldn’t be this way would I.”

“Even when you’re not pregnant, you’re still kind of irrational.”

“I will kill you in your sleep. Don’t underestimate me; I’m little, but I will bring you to your knees.”

“Oh believe me, I know you will. And not in the fun, sexy way either.”

She gives a small laugh.

“I’m sorry I made you cry.”

“I’m not crying because of you. I’m crying because I can’t get the stupid seat belt done up!”

“Well you’d stop fighting me and let me do it…”

She relents. Holding her hands up in surrender and then giving a sheepish smile and pressing a kiss to his cheek when she snaps the belt in place.

“Are you done?” Tyler asks. “You got it all out?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Let’s not blame this one on the baby.”

“I’m stressed and I’m worried and I’m scared and I don’t want to go back there. It’s too hard; it hurts too much and I just want to turn around and go back. I don’t want to go there.”

“You think I want to? That’s the last place I want to be.”

“I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t hate this life. Because we have a good life. We have an  amazing life and amazing kids and I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t hate my life, I just hate this part of it. And I AM tired of it; I’m tired of being scared and worried and having to imagine my life without you. I can support you...and I DO...but I don’t have to like it.  I’m just worried. About you.”

“I know you are.”

“And I’m not blaming the baby, but I AM really hormonal and it’s driving me crazy. Because  one minute  I want to fuck you senseless and then the next I want to throat punch you. And I’m sorry for that; wanting to throat punch you sometimes.”

“I kind of deserve it sometimes, I think. I’d rather you fuck me than throat punch me, though.”

“Fucking you is what got me into this hormonal mess. Why can’t I just say no? Why can’t I just tell you to leave me alone and roll over and go to sleep?  I was such a good girl before I met you; I was pure and innocent and now look what you’ve done.”

He smirks. “There was nothing pure and innocent about you when we met, but nice try.”

“Hey, you’re  only the third guy. Ever. So that’s kind of pure and innocent.”

“Someone who is pure and innocent would NOT have let me do the things you let me do.”

“You corrupted.”

“Bullshit. We both know you’re lying.”

“Maybe you turned me into the mess I am now,” Esme reasons. “Maybe you should be proud of yourself. That you’re THAT good at what you do; that you managed to corrupt me and turn me into a nympho. Ever thought of it THAT way? That your skills turned me into the way I am?”

“Are you complaining?”

“Nope,” she giggles, then bites down on her body lips. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

“I’m used to it. I’m sorry that I made you cry. I probably didn’t say things that way I SHOULD have said them.”

“You think?”

“I don’t expect you to forget me. To act like I never happened or that we never happened. I didn’t mean it like that. But I just want you to be safe; you and the kids. That’s all I want.”

“We’re safe when we’re with you.”

“But if something does happen…”

“No….” she circles her neck with her arms and buries her face in his chest. “...we’re not talking about this. I won’t talk about this.”

He rubs his hands up and down her back. “Baby…”

“No.” she forcefully repeats. “We’re not doing this. I can’t do this. Not right now.”

“Alright,” he relents, pressing a kiss to the side of her head and then wrapping both arms around her tiny body. “...not right now.”

“I can’t lose you,” she whimpers against him. “I just can’t.”

He wants to tell her she won’t; that everything is going to be okay. That they’re going to make it out alive. BOTH of them.

He tightens his hold on her instead.

*****

Their temporary home sits on the outskirts of the city centre; only two blocks from where they’d spent that fateful night at Gaspar’s. A three story single family home in what’s considered an affluent area of Dhaka; owned by a colleague of Anil’s who’d offered it up as a ‘safe house’ until the job is completed.

His own stress level has been on the rise since they touched down.  All the memories -the horrifyingly bad ones, at least-  flooding through him at once and nearly causing a panic attack before they even left the airport; Anil securing them a rental car under a fake name and paying by wire transfer from an offshore account. And the tension and anxiety had been so overwhelming that he’d purposefully gone forty minutes out of the way to avoid having to take the Sultana Kamal Bridge. He wouldn’t have been able to handle travelling over it; he’d been silently praying for days that he wouldn’t HAVE to. It had been bad enough seeing it from the air; the effects of the PTSD clutching at his chest and turning his stomach and transforming the normal flow of cars and pedestrians into a war zone. All he could see was what existed seven years ago; blood and spent bullets and dead bodies strewn among burnt out vehicles. He could see it as clear as day; he could smell the gunpowder and gasoline and taste his own blood and sweat and hear the cries of the injured and dying.

By the time they arrive at the house he’s calmer; the extra forty minutes in the car effectively bringing his blood pressure and his anxiety to a manageable level. And for several minutes they sit in the driveway with the engine idling and neither speaking a word; the home before them eerily similar and bringing back  a lot of bad memories and a world of pain. That night seven years ago should have gone so different. They should have been safe and it should have been the first step on their way to freedom and all the plans they’d made.

SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

“We can just say ‘fuck it’ and rent a hotel room,” Tyler suggests. He hates that look in her eyes; that traumatized, haunted look that he’s seen way too many times in the past few days. Despite knowing what she’d gone through in Dhaka and the things she’d seen and the things she’d had to do to keep him alive, he often underestimates just how much it HAS affected her. And just how deeply and badly it continues to. There’s a lot of healing left to do.

“It’s not safe at a hotel,” Esme says. “You know that.”

“Right now, I’m more worried about you being okay. And if being here is just going to make things worse...if it’s just going to upset you and stress you out more…”

“I’ll be okay.” she assures him, and leans across the seat to peck his cheek. “You worry too much.”

“I’ve got a damn good reason to worry. TWO damn good reasons.”

“Once we’re in there AND I get comfortable and I convince my brain it’s not seven years ago and this isn’t Gaspar’s, I’ll be fine. We’re safe here. And we’re together. That’s what matters, right?”

“That’s ALL that matters. But if you’re not okay, at least tell me, yeah? So I can make it...YOU...okay.”

“Those lings are going to stay on your forehead and around your eyes if you keep worrying and frowning so much,” she teases. “I’ll be fine. I just need to accept being back here and not dwell on the past and at least try and get comfortable. And it's not like we’ll be here for long, right? A few days at the most.”

“I’ll try to make it as short of a stay as possible, I promise.”

“I think that kind of falls on me; how quick I can get what you need. I figure I have two days…” she crosses her fingers. “...to get shit done.”

“I was thinking twenty four to thirty six hours,” he admits.

She frowns.

“No pressure,” he adds, then leans in to kiss her. “You’ve got this. All of this.”

“You have a lot of faith in me, Tyler Rake.”

“If you get me off that bridge alive, you can do anything.”

“WAY too much faith in me,” she declares, and kisses him; long and soft and sweet, his face cradled gently in her hands.

****

The inside of the house is a relief; cheerful with its snow white walls adorned with vibrant, eye-catching art and it’s bright orange couches and chairs adorned with pillows of various patterns and bold, bright colours. It’s open concept and it’s airy and it helps to loosen the anxiety hanging over the situation, and he finds that for the first time since leaving Mumbai, he can actually breathe easily. Somewhat comforted by the elaborate security system and the pleasant surroundings and the thought of not being too close to the city center.

“What’s it like up there?” he asks, as Esme returns from a tour of the top floor. Like Gaspar’s the stairs lead into the open concept kitchen, dining area, and living room.

“It’s really nice. It’s colourful and it’s cherry and it’s going to make staying here a lot easier. There’s even…” she pauses, a frown on her face and her eyes on the holster on his hip.

“Better to be safe than sorry,” he reasons.

“...there’s even one of those massive infinity tubs in the master ensuite,” she says, and she continues down the stairs. “You know where I’ll be every minute of my down time.”

“As long as you don’t expect me to join you.”

She rolls her eyes and then places her hands on hips as she stands in front of him. “Regardless of what you think, taking baths don’t make you less manly.”

“I don’t want to smell like flowers. I saw what you packed; it’s all your girly shit.”

“Well then you should have packed your own damn bag. And I am a girl, remember?”

“Oh I remember that very well.”

“I have to show you something.”

He grins. “Right here in the kitchen?”

She slides one of her hands off his hip and reaches around to pinch his ass. “Don’t be a pig. I can show you THAT upstairs. And before I show you what I have to show you, you have to promise you won’t call me crazy.”

“I can’t make those kinds of promises.”

She glares up at him..

“I promise I won’t call you crazy.”

“Okay, first, I have to ask you a question. When was the first time we had sex after Addie was born?”

“I dunno. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Just answer the question. Think.”

“I guess…” he shrugs. “...she was three weeks old. About that.”

“Okay, so it happened then. Say it was that first time.  That would make me what? Eleven weeks?”

“Ten, eleven, I guess.”

“Can you explain this to me then?” She lifts up the front of her t-shirt and runs a hand over the visible bump in her leggings. “How the hell does this happen overnight? And don’t say ‘what’ because I damn well know you can see it. Everybody would be able to see it if I didn’t wear a baggy top today. You have some explaining to do.”

“It’s a baby bump. So? I’ve seen five already. It’s cute.”

“Cute? At eleven weeks? How big IS this baby? I didn't show this soon with Declan and he was massive! What is this? This should not be here yet.”

“You showed this early with the…”

“Don’t you say it. Don’t you dare.”

“Well you did. I’m just pointing out that…”

“This is your fault! You realize that, right? Because you some damn powerful swimmers that apparently don’t take no for an answer. You were supposed to tell me that the doctor said to use some kind of protection for up to eight months.”

“I honestly forgot.”

“And just for that, you’re going to be on dirty, shitty diaper duty for the first three months. How is this even possible?” she nods down at her stomach. “Explain this! How does it just show up?”

“I noticed it yesterday,” Tyler admits. “When you were naked after we…”

“And you didn’t say anything?”

“It’s YOUR body. I thought you already knew.”

“This is so your fault.” She drops her t-shirt down over her stomach. “I’m blaming this one solely on you.”

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m really not. We decided to have another one. It just happened sooner than we thought it would.”

“Yeah, WAY sooner, thanks to you. And now I’m already starting to show and we won’t be able to hide it much longer.”

“Once we get home and you see a doctor and we get past the first three months, then we’ll tell people. We agreed on that, yeah? Let’s not have a repeat of what happened the last time we told people too soon.”

“You realize that’s not what happened, right?” She wraps her arms around his waist and presses her body against his. “It didn’t happen because we told people too soon. We didn’t jinx it.”

“I know.” He loops her hair behind her ears, then drags his knuckles along her jaw before taking her face in his hands. “I’d just rather not tell anyone yet. Just in case.”

“You’re worried about it, aren’t you. That it’ll happen again.”

“It’s already happened twice. If we count Mark.”

“That was a blessing in disguise if you think about it. That would have been a disaster; having a baby with him. And I don’t know what happened to us. I mean, I did everything right. I was eating well and taking vitamins and being careful and…”

“It just happened. There’s no reason.”

“I thought it was my fault. That maybe I did something wrong. And I kept thinking about it and going over it and…”

“Baby...come on...you’re getting emotional. There’s no need to.”

“I felt guilty. I felt like I caused it in some way.”

“You know what? That’s what Mark put in your head the first time around. You didn’t do anything wrong. Not then, not with ours. It just happened.”

“I was so scared. That you’d blame me. That you’d hate me. And I’m sorry; that it happened. I’m sorry that…”

“Stop,” he pecks her mouth to silence her. “You’re stressed and you’re hormonal and you’re letting things get to you. Just stop.” He presses his lips to her forehead, allowing them to linger for several seconds. “You hungry? Fridge and cupboards are stocked. I’ll make us something to eat.”

“Later. I’m not that hungry.”

He scowls. “Esme…”

“Tyler…”

“You need to eat. Little bean is counting on you.”

“And I will eat. Later. I WILL eat whatever you make. But right now, I’m tired.”

“You slept on the plane.”

“And I’m still tired. I just need a couple more hours. You know I’m always like this in the first trimester. I can’t seem to sleep enough. And right, I badly need sleep. Like really, really, really badly.”

“And then you’ll eat. Because you haven’t been. And you need to.”

“I promise you, I will eat. I know you worry and I love you so much for it. I do. But I’m fine and according to my stomach, our baby is growing very well. I’m okay. WE’RE okay. And right now, we need sleep.

“Fine,” he reluctantly agrees, and pecks her lips.

“And I think you should sleep with me.”

“I’m not tired.”

“At the risk of sounding really needy, I really want you to come and sleep with me. Not sleep if you’re not tired, but at least lie with me. Just life there and stroke my hair and hold me and let me sleep on you. That’s what I want; that time with.”

“That’s what I want too.”

“Just for a little while. I just want to be in your arms. I NEED to be in them. And you’re not going to deny your wife...your pregnant wife...are you?”

“No,” he says with a grin, and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I’m not.”

*****

He manages to rest for three and a half hours; drifting off mere minutes after his head hit the pillow.  Lulled to sleep by the warmth of her body pressed against his and the repetitive motion of his fingers moving through her hair and that familiar, yet still alluring smell that clings to her.   He doesn’t move for another thirty minutes; staring up at the ceiling as he listens to her soft, rhythmic breathing as she sleeps soundly next to him; on her side with her ass pressed against his hip and her head in the crook of his elbow and both arms wrapped around his forearm. She doesn’t budge until he’s forced to flex his fingers and squeeze them into a tight fist to rid his hand of pins and needles; feeling the movement of the muscles against her. And she gives a long, content sigh as she rolls over to face him, eye still closed as she drapes an arm across his chest and rests her head on his shoulder.

“I used to watch you sleep.”

Her eyes flicker open and she raises her head to look at him. “What?”

“Seven years ago. In the hotel room. I used to watch you sleep.”

“You did?”

Tyler nods. “How fucking weird is that? How weird am I? That’s fucked. We barely knew each other. And I did something like that?”

“There’s nothing weird about it. What makes it weird?”

“What did we really know about each other? Outside of fucking.”

“We were getting to know each other. We’d always talk afterwards and some of those talks were pretty intense. It wasn’t exactly standard pillow talk. We had some serious conversations.”

“Still. It’s creepy  as hell; watching someone sleep.”

“You’ve admitted you do it now. That you watch me sometimes.”

“That’s different. You’re my wife. You weren’t back then.”

“I was your pretend wife.”

He frowns.

“It’s not creepy. Why would it be creepy? You admitted to smelling my hair.”

“Okay, that is NOT what I said. What I said was that I wanted you to stick close enough that I COULD smell your hair. Now that I WAS smelling it.”

“What would you think about? While you were watching me sleep?”

“I already admitted I watched you sleep. You want me to talk about THAT too?”

“Go big or go home, right? Tell me. What did you think about…?”

“Esme…”

“Tell me,” she implores, and reaches up to push his bangs off his forehead. “...tell me what you’d think about.”

“Isn’t one confession enough? I admitted to watching you sleep. Why do you need to know anything else?”

“Tell me,” she insists, and placess a series of feathery kisses along his jaw. “...please? I don’t get these kinds of confessions out of you very often. I want to hear it. Please?”

“For fuck sakes…”

“If you’re worried I’m going to laugh at you, I promise I won’t.  It’s probably so sweet and adorable and…”

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters.

“Tell me. I want to hear it. I’ve told you every single one of my embarrassing confessions.  I deserve to hear one of yours.”

“Fine,” he sighs. “I would think about how beautiful you were. I liked how your skin looked in the moonlight and I liked your freckles and your long eyelashes and how it always looked like you were sleeping while you slept. And then I’d think about how the hell we ended up where we were and if you’d want anything to do with me after it was all over. And that I hoped you did.”

“You actually thought about all that?”

He nods.

“Baby, that is so beautiful. It’s beautiful and it's so sweet and it’s so heartfelt and…”

“Fuck me,” he growls.

“Are you blushing?” She shoves a hand into his hair and turns his head towards her. “Oh my god, you are. You ARE blushing!”

“I don’t blush!”

“You’re blushing right now.”

“Fuck!” He snags her pillows and holds it firmly over his face. “Fuck!”

“What? What’s wrong with blushing? Don’t be embarrassed.”

“I don’t fucking blush!”

“Yes, you do.”  She peeks under the edge of the pillow. “You’re totally blushing. You’re so red. I haven’t seen you blush in years! It’s only happened twice since I’ve known you. Aww, Tyler…” she pries the pillow away from his face and tosses it aside. “...you’re so adorable.”

“Stop!”

“No. I will not. You are adorable. You don’t think mercenaries can be adorable?”

“Not this one.”

She climbs on top of his, straddling his stomach. “Why are you so embarrassed?”

“I just admitted to watching you sleep. To thinking things I should not have been thinking about a girl I just met. It’s weird and it’s creepy as fuck,”

“Well I think it’s beautiful.” She speaks between pecks to his lips. “And you have nothing to be embarrassed about. So you were having the feels for me…”

“Oh God...fucking shoot me now…”

“I was  having the  feels for you. What’s the big deal? Sometimes people connect right away. It happens. Look where we ended up.  So what if other people think it happened too soon? So what if it was scary that it was happening so fast? All that matters is where we are now. And believe me,  I never thought my fake husband would end up being my real husband. But I’m glad he did. He’s a keeper.”

Grinning, he reaches up to clear hair away from her face, then runs his palms along her shoulders and down her arms.   “How long you going to keep me for?”

“I don’t know. How long are you willing to stick around for?”

“You mean IF I make it out of here?”

Esme frowns. “We are not talking about that. We are not using those words. THAT word. There’s no ‘if’; you are getting out of this. And then we’re going to go home and we’re going to go on with our lives and raise our kids and have another baby. And things are going to be amazing. Because we deserve that.”

He inhales deeply, then releases a long, shaky breath. “I’m scared.”

“I know you are.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared. Not even seven years ago. Not even when I thought I was dying on that bridge. I mean, I was. Scared. But not like this.”

“Back then you didn’t have everything to lose. Not like you do now.”

“I don’t want to die. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to leave you or the kids. I’m not ready to give up this life. OUR life. Seven years is not enough time. It’s not early enough.”

“This isn’t a death sentence, Tyler. It doesn’t have to end like that. You know it doesn’t.”

“Kind of fitting, don’t you think?  Kind of makes sense. Look where we are. This place didn’t kill me the first time. It won’t fuck up a second time.”

“That means nothing. It’s just a place. It’s just a city like millions of other cities. They lured you here to fuck with your head and it’s working. That’s the only reason you’re here. No more, no less. And things come in threes, right? That’s the old saying? You survived the first time, so you’ll survive the second.”

“This makes the first time look easy. And how fucked THAT was.  This place is hell for us. It’s nothing but bad memories and horrible shit and…”

“It wasn’t all bad,” she argues. “Two very good things came out of her. Us and Millie. And I know it’s hard to think that way; that it’s hard to see past all the shit in order to get to that silver lining. But our daughter was made here. WE were made here. This is where we started. And we’ve come a long way since then. We got out of this place once, we’ll get out of it again.”

“I just want you safe. That’s all that matters. As long as you and the kids survive…”

“Listen to me…”  she tugs firmly at his hair. “...we need you to survive, too. Don’t do this, Tyler. Don’t resign yourself to your fate like this. Because it does NOT have to end that way. You’re going to get out of there and we’re going to live a long life.  We’re going to grow old together and we’re going to spoil grandchildren together and we’re going to  drive each other totally insane. Because you’re right; seven years is NOT enough. Not by a long shot.”

Reaching up, he lays a hand on the back of her head and pulls her down into a kiss; fingers tangled in her hair as his lips move softly against hers.

“Promise me,” she pleads, as she wraps both arms around his beck and tucks her head under his chin. “Promise me you’ll do whatever it takes to get yourself out of there. That you’ll stop at nothing to get back to me and the kids. Promise me, Tyler.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he says, as he drops a kiss on the top of her head. “I promise.”

[zanesgirlfriend]

Number Neighbors | Part Two | Jeff Wittek

A/N: This picks up directly where the smut leaves off

READ PART ONE HERE

READ THE SMUT HERE

_____

"When are you leaving?" You slid off of Jeff, rolling onto your back, and attempted to catch your breath. That was undoubtedly the best sex you'd ever had, not only because of his physical blessings, but because of the already established emotional connection.

"You tryna get rid of me already?" He chuckled, his smile more beautiful in person. He sat up, his arms outstretched in front of him.

"No, the opposite!" You smiled as your hands locked with his. "I never want you to leave."

"You could always come with me." His words were slow and careful, which was weird considering how sarcastic he usually was.

"But I have a job here, I can't just pack up and leave." His eyes captured you, causing you to feel trapped in his gaze. You didn't mind though.

"You could get an even better one in LA. You've told me a million times how you want to do more."

"You never answered my question."

"You're changing the subject. We have to have this conversation eventually. I'm serious about this and about you. Now that I've held you I don't know how long I can go without you." His words tugged at your heart and you felt a deep sadness growing in you. You'd realized that he couldn't stay here forever.

"Can we talk about it tomorrow? I just want to appreciate the fact that you're here right now." You crawled into his lap once again, his arms wrapping tightly around you.

"Deal."

The two of you laid in bed talking and cuddling for a while before Jeff's phone rang. "It's David." He told you as he answered the FaceTime call.

"Todd said you have a secret girlfriend." David looked down at the phone as he exited a casino.

"Not much of a secret anymore, aye?" Jeff joked.

"Can we see her then?"

"She's not wearin' the most clothes right now, sorry." Jeff did that little high-pitched laugh you loved so much.

"Ohh, okay, well I wanted you to come film a bit with Jason." David laughed before getting to the point.

"I'm a little busy." Jeff started, not wanting to leave you.

"We'll be there." You peeked your head into the frame.

"Hey! I'm David!" David laughed as he looked at you.

"Y/n! We'll see you in twenty." You tapped Jeff's phone, ending the call before standing up and searching for a bra. Jeff was frozen for a moment, he'd never seen such an impulsive side of you. "Are you coming or am I meeting them myself?"

"You're crazy." His smile broke the silence before his words did.

"Not as crazy as you telling them I'm your girlfriend before you even asked me out." You stuck your tongue out at him before disappearing into the bathroom.

"Hey!" He chased after you, stumbling as he attempted to put his underwear on. "You weren't supposed to know about that!"

"Awe, is this our first fight?" You made a cute pouty face as your arms hugged his waist. "Kiss it and make it better?" You asked as if a joke fight was an elbow scrape.

"Always." He kissed you gently, smiling as you pulled away.

"All better!"

Before you knew it you were in your car on the way to David's hotel. The closer you got, the more nerves you felt creeping into you. Jeff was real, you were his girlfriend, and you were about to meet his friends for the first time. His fingers interlocked with yours, calming you down slightly as you got in the elevator.

"They're gonna love you." His deep voice was soothing.

"I hope so."

Jeff knocked on the door, barely interrupting all the voices behind it. David opened the door, introducing himself and letting you in.

"Hey, everyone, this is my number neighbor and girlfriend, y/n." Jeff showed you off to the room, a chorus of hellos jumping out at you. You smiled and sat down between Jeff and a pretty black haired girl as everyone talked.

"I'm Mariah." She introduced herself.

"Y/n." It wasn't long before awkward small talk became a real conversation. You learned that she was also from New York, and she was a dancer. You'd learned a few other peoples names, but Mariah was your favorite. You ended up exchanging numbers before joining the rest of the groups conversation.

"Natalie could only get flights back for Monday morning so we need something to do tomorrow." David said, listening for suggestions. You made a mental note of when they were leaving, sad that it was so soon.

"We could go to y/n's show." Jeff suggested. Your face became red at the thought of all of them watching you perform.

"You have a show?"

"Uhh, I'm a backup dancer. It's not like I have my own show." You corrected Jeff, still blushing from all the attention.

"Can we go?" David asked.

"Yeah, I can probably hook you up with tickets."

So it was settled. You ended up staying out with Jeff's friends until three in the morning. You went on a party bus, got a little drunk, went to a bar, laughed your ass off at one of the guys tripping over a rock, and had a wonderful time.

Your friends here were all work friends. Of course you hung out and had fun together, but these people were different. The Vlog Squad made you laugh and cracked dirty jokes and actually included you in conversations. The only time you were confused was when a few girls came up to the group and asked for pictures. Everyone had done this a million times, but it was new to you. Jeff pulled you over to the side and whispered some joke about being famous, quickly kissing your head before going to take pictures with the fans. It amazed you how quickly the group picked their conversation back up. As if their words were just on pause for a minute.

Jeff drove your car back to your apartment, your slightly slurred directions helping him. "I think I love you." You told him as you opened your door.

"I think I love you too." He gingerly crawled into bed with you, smiling and breathing in your perfume as he squeezed you tight.

You woke up only slightly panicked, not sure what time it was or where you were or who was holding onto you. Suddenly you remembered the events of the previous night and smiled to yourself. Jeff was here. You rolled over, your head laying peacefully on his bare chest.

"Good morning, beautiful." The sleep was evident in his voice and his eyes and that wonderful bed head.

"Good morning." It was so nice just to hold onto him.

"If I hadn't met you I'd probably be working out right now." Jeff stared at the ceiling as he thought about a different life.

"I'd probably be sleeping." You smiled and cuddled into him further.

It was these little moments and stupid conversations that made everything worth it.

Jeff's thinking about life without you had got you thinking of life in 24 hours.

"In 24 hours he'll be at the airport." You thought as you ate breakfast. "In 24 hours he'll be on the plane." You thought as you got ready for the day. "In 24 hours I'll be here and Jeff will be home." You thought as you danced on stage, his smiling face in the audience. "In 24 hours I will be alone." You thought to yourself as you hugged him for the hundredth time.

The closer it got to him leaving the sadder you felt. You'd dreamed about meeting him for a few months, and in two short days he was yours. Then what.

"I don't want you to leave." You told Jeff as you played with his hair.

"I don't want to leave you."

"Then stay." You begged him.

"I can't, I gotta get back to Nerf." Nerf's face popped into your head.

"I know." You agreed.

"Move in with me." He turned around excitedly.

"Jeff, I can't just leave. I don't have a job over there." Your fingertips made small swirling patterns on his shoulders.

"I can take care of you until you find one."

"I can't let you do that."

"This fucking sucks." He pouted.

"I know, but we'll figure it out eventually."

Another night of great sex and incredible cuddling left you so full of affection, but the next morning was draining.

You held in your emotions as you drove him to the airport, only to break down as you hugged him goodbye.

"I'll call you as soon as I'm at my gate, and then again as soon as we land."

"Okay." You nodded and sniffled, his large thumbs wiping your tears away.

"I gotta go." He squeezed you tight, tasting your salty tears as he kissed you once again.

"I love you." You told him before letting him go. You were sure now. The past few months and these past two days were all you needed to confirm your feelings for him.

"I love you too."

One last kiss and he was gone.

You were devastated as you drove home. You felt as if your pet had just died. Luckily you didn't have to work so the whole day was dedicated to you crying and looking at pictures of him.

Jeff is devastated.

Mariah texted you from the plane as soon as they landed.

I wish I could be there.

Maybe you can!

I have a job I can't just leave here.

Give me a few days.

A few days of falling asleep on FaceTime got the couple back in their old rhythm. It felt like before, like them meeting was a dream. Jeff already seemed to be planning his next trip to Vegas. You'd forgotten about Mariah's plan completely until she texted you.

Put in your two weeks notice.

_____

READ PART THREE HERE

[writings-of-the-unkown]

I Don’t Care What They’re Gonna Say

requested: yes

pairing:  Alex Morgan x Reader

Y/N- your name

Y/L- your last name

Y/F- your friends name

bold are inner thoughts

italics are text messages 

Warning: gay, only a little ANGST if you squint (sorry not sorry :|)

 1250 Words

A/N: THIS IS FICTION ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE

Good luck tomorrow, I’ll be there in spirit! I text my girlfriend.

She is playing in the World Cup final over in France and being a pediatric surgeon at the best hospital in Orlando, it’s hard to get time off. Plus the team doesn’t know that Alex is bisexual, let alone dating a woman at the moment. My coworkers have suspected that I’ve been dating someone and they know I’m gay because all of the month of June, I am a walking pride parade. Or at least that’s what Y/F says.

Babe, I wish you could be here but your job is important and I totally get that. I love you! Alex replies.

Little does she know, but the chief of surgery is giving me the day off so I will be there actually. I contacted the coaching staff telling them that I was coming to the game, so they offered to get me tickets for the game because the family section is where all the players go to after they win. After I completed my charts and made sure my patients were stable for the day, I went home to finish packing because my flight was in just over three hours and one of the coaches said that they’d send someone to pick me up at the airport. I think my flight lands at roughly 10:45 there and the game starts at 5 so I really only have to hide from Alex for about four hours. I get to the airport and I breeze through security so I have time to get some food and relax before I have to board.

The flight attendants call my boarding group, so I wait in line to be seated. I used my frequent flyer miles to get me a good seat for this red-eye flight. I boarded the plane and immediately get my things ready for the long flight. I grabbed my headphones and started the playlist Alex had made for me. My eyes began to close as exhaustion set in after the long work day.

I was being shaken and when I opened my eyes, the flight attendant smiled.

“We have landed at Lyon-Saint Exupéry Airport. If you have checked any baggage, it will be at turnstial û. Enjoy your time here” She said as she stood up to finish her post flight checklist.

I collected my stuff and got off the plane. I didn’t check any bags so I headed to the transportation section of the airport. I get there and don’t see anyone in U.S. Soccer official gear so I just sit on a bench and wait. I was so absorbed in my phone that someone had to tap my shoulder. I looked up and noticed a young girl.

“Um, excuse me. Are you Y/N Y/L by any chance?” she asked.

“Yeah actually I am. What’s your name sweetheart?” She seemed like a nice girl, she was very respectful. There aren’t that many kids who act this way mostly because of the influence that technology has on people. 

“I’m Angelica and I just wanted to say that you are one of my role models and I just, uh, I just wanted to say thank you for being you” she whispered the end of her sentence.

“Awe, sweetheart. That’s so sweet of you. Here, let’s take a picture together. I’m sorry I look awful” I said with a laugh.

Angelica’s mom comes over and takes our picture. She takes one on my phone and one in hers that way we each have a copy. A horn honks and I notice that it is a U.S. Soccer car so I make my way to it. I wave at Angelica and her mom as we drive off.

I was taken to the hotel the team was staying at and I went to the room I was placed in. I checked the time and noticed that it was almost time to get ready for the game. I put on my Alex Morgan pride jersey that I tucked into my black jean shorts and parried with red high top converse.

I headed back down stairs and the employee took me to the game. We got there after the warm ups had finished so there wasn’t a chance that Alex could see me. I sat in my seat and checked the starting line up. I smiled when I saw that Alex was starting. I was sitting next to a woman with dark brown hair. She was wearing a red Megan Rapinoe Jersey and was kind of fidgety.

“You nervous?” I asked her. She was confused that I was actually talking to her. 

“Yeah, my partner is playing” she said as she wrung her hands.

“Same here, I’m Y/N” I stuck my handout for a hand shake.

“Sue” she grasped my hand firmly.

The drums began to play and the video screen was showing the inside of the tunnel. The starting lineups made their way out for the anthems and then the game got going. 

Alex was taken down in the box in the 60th minute. I immediately jumped to my feet and let out an audible gasp. My heart skipped a beat as it took her a minute to get up.

Please get up, please get up, please please, oh god, please get up. You can’t make me fly all the way to another continent just to watch you get hurt. I swear to god you better get up. My thoughts were going a million miles per hour.

Alex slowly gets to her feet and the defender who took her down is awarded a yellow card. Rapinoe stands over the ball and managed to bury in the back of the net. Sue jumps to her feet. She was tearing up and the word happy didn’t do Sue’s emotion justice.

The game continues and Rose scores a few minutes later and everyone is ecstatic once again. 

The game ended and we won! Alex was given her phone so I texted her to look at the family section. She read it and immediately look around trying to spot me.

We made eye contact with each other. She sprinted over to me and jumped up to the railing. I leaned over the railing and she grabbed my face, instantly pressed her lips to mine. We both smiled into the kiss. 

When we broke away from each other we gazed lovingly at each other.

“Congratulations babe. I’m glad I was able to see you kick ass” I say with a smile. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? And what about your patients?” Alex has always been really concerned about my patients

“Al don’t worry about it. I’ve taken care of it. Plus, I didn’t know you were ready to be out about us” I joked with her.

“Whoops. I’m too happy right now to care about the media is gonna say about me” I was holding her hands and I had tears streaming down my face.

After the game and after parties, Alex finally managed to climb into bed with me. I had gone to bed way before her, not only because I was tired but also because I am not one of the players and the media did not want to talk to me.

I felt the weight of the bed shift and I rolled into her arms. We both fell asleep with smiles on our faces that night.

[totheendofthelinepal]

TRY ME (PART TWO)

Summary: You couldn’t stand Bucky Barnes, but as a part of the Avengers - You had no choice but to tolerate him. Until one day, mission gone ary - you realize that something else sparks between the two of you, in the most unexpected way.

Warnings: NSFW (18+), Swearing, Violence

Pairing: Reader (Y/N) x Bucky Barnes

You threw your head to the hard surface of the desk, feeling hopeless. Two days since the mission, and the rest of your team was being held in a high securing Hydra facility. You couldn’t just blindly go in, but now your cover had been compromised, and you had no resources. You were stuck with the one person you had little to no experience working with. As soon as it came to realization the were taken, Bucky led you out of the operation against your will. You felt guilty for leaving them behind, but you knew it was smarter to come up with a plan first, you couldnt just hand it to Hydra. But part of you just wanted to blaze in, and get your team back.

“Nice tatic.”

You turned to see Bucky in the doorway, his arms crossed. You rolled your eyes, trying your best to bite you tongue. You knew that fighting wouldn’t help the mess you’re in, and he was all you had as a partner.

“I say we just…go in. Just-…bring big guns.” You sighed heavily, pushing your self back up.

“You and I both know that won’t work. They’ve got guys lined up all around that place. We have no backup, do you want to get killed?” He walked in the room, without your permission.

You groaned out in frustration at his remarks. He sat across from you, pulling the map away from your vision. He knitted his brow, and began to mark all across it with a pen.

“What the hell are you doing?” You looked at him, as he wrote all across the paper.

“Well….maybe if we go through here, we can take the majority of them out. Just…hope we get them all.” Bucky said quietly.

“Like hell you are.” A woman spoke behind you.

You turned to see none other than Agent Maria Hill standing in the room. Bucky’s eyes looked her up and down, causing you to glare at him in disgust. Was he checking her out?

“I got in contact with Fury, mainly because if all of the Avengers are being held captive, its a bit of a problem.” She sighed walking to you.

“uh…you think?” You quipped.

“They’re going to be moving locations anyway, unfortunately. Flight leaves in about two hours. Cap and the rest of them will be getting on that plane as well.” She crossed her arms, looking to you.

“How the hell did we not know this? Steve said nothing about relocation.” Bucky sounded annoyed.

“None of us knew. But now we do, and they’re planning to make a trade off. The Avengers eminent death in exchange for highly illegal weaponry.” Hill huffed out, setting down a pile of files.

“Where are they going for this trade off?” You looked through the papers to find any other surprise information.

“Paris.” She sighed, pulling out the location file.

“How are we going to get them back? We have no resources.” you exasperated, feeling hopelessness wash over you again.

“You’re going to lead them in, agree to hand over the drive, and we’ll handle the rest. Fury set up a meeting already at the Raffles hotel. You leave in about an hour.” She raised a brow, waiting for our reaction.

“An hour, how the hell are we going to get ready for something like that?” Bucky’s eyes grew wide.

“Everything is taken care of. Just….get our heroes back.” Hill pursed her lips, then she was gone.

You looked to Bucky in astonishment. This one day mission was about to turn into something much more.

The private jet was fully stocked with everything you could possibly need, from your favorite gun to your favorite alcoholic beverage. You kept yourself during the flight, not exchanging many words with Bucky. It was an odd sense of being civill towards each other. You would look his direction ever so often, and notice random things. You realized that he hadn’t shaved in a while, leaving his jaws stubble filled. You noticed how he would tuck his hair behind his ears ever so often as if it was a nervous tick. Even sometimes you could hear his machinery of a left arm hum. When he was quiet, he wasn’t all that bad, you could actually tolerate him. Feeling brave after a few drinks, you made your way next to his seat. 

“Worried about them?” you quietly looked at his features.

“I used to worry about Steve, kid doesn’t know how to walk away from a fight. But he’s definitely been able to take care of himself.” Bucky half smiled to you, looking across your features as well. 

You noticed his eyes now, trying not to linger too long.They were crystal blue, and they looked nothing like the rest of him. They were almost genuine, soft, and caring. The rest of his demeanor was tough, large, and unbreakable. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, before you broke the gaze. You looked out the window, and you could still feel his eyes on you. You couldn’t believe this was all happening, on your way to Paris with Bucky Barnes, the man you hated, to save your friends.

About an hour after you landed, you were escorted to your room by mysterious people, cleary they worked for Fury. You walked into the room, slightly astonished at the large size. It was beyond beautiful. If you were here as someone else you could almost enjoy it. But what filled the suite was nothing but set up technology and weaponry.

“Its about time.” Fury approached the both of you, a quizzical look on his face.

“Where are they?” You got right to the point.

“Slow your roll, Y/N” Fury held his hands up, “They’re here. in the Hotel. The Gala tonight is the meet up. You two are taking the route unexpected. They’re in this bottom floor, underneath all this here. We’ve granted access to the air vents for the two of you to extract the team, we’ll handle the rest.”

You watched on as Fury explained the elaborate plan, The both you and Bucky would go below the hotel level to where the team was held, and take out any one in our way. Fury and his team will meet with the Hydra operatives as diversion. You watched as Bucky took in all of the information, his arms folded, he looked bigger than you had noticed before.

“Got it?” Fury looked to you, “By the way…I aint taking your bullshit. My agents work together, Im not going to have you fighting like damn five year olds.”

“Yes sir.” You nodded to him.

“Good, we’re understood.” He quipped, “Gear up.”

You and Bucky spilt directions, picking each weapon of choice.

You crawled carefully in the air duct, the space feeling like it began to close in on you. You began to dampen with nervousness. You looked behind to see Bucky effortlessly following you, cool and collected. You sighed in frustration as you moved forward, suddenly your head feeling light.

“Claustrophobic, Doll?” He nudged your ankle.

“Shut up, Barnes.” You hissed, moving forward

“You know, sweetheart, this isn’t a bad view, Your ass moving around like that.” He chuckled, nudging you again.

You ignored his comment, moving forward, stopping at the vent below you.

“Alright this is our stop, drop here, one room over.” You whispered lightly.

“How many we got, Doll?” Bucky began preparing his gun.

“5.” You began to ensemble yourself, roping the line in for you to drop.

“Ready?” Bucky cocked his gun.

Without saying anything you busted the vent, sliding down the rope effortlessly. The men rushed to you, as you fought off their hits, Bucky followed you down. Gun shots fired over you, as Bucky expertly took out the men before him. You threw skilled kicks and punches knocking out the men, and now you were alone again. You walked behind Bucky, his gun turned to you, lowering slowly. You started to walk forward, when suddenly Bucky shoved your body to the ground. Before you scream at him in confusion, his metal hand flew to your mouth. Two Hydra agents walked by the room, not noticing the 5 men out cold on the floor. As soon as you were clear, you pushed his hand away.

“Was that necessary?” You huffed out, now noticing his heavy frame on you.

“Had to shut you up somehow.” Bucky winked to you, causing you to shove him off.

You jumped to your feet, collecting yourself, but it wasn’t long until the men passed by again. This time they brought friends, around 12 of them. You sighed in frustration looking to Bucky, he tossed you his gun, then pulled out his knife. The two of you back at it again, fought hard against the men, every so often switching your weapons effortlessly. Down to the last man, he was on his knees, blood dripping from the after math of you skills.

“They are not here, you can look all you want, but Hydra will always prevail.” He hissed.

“Where the hell are they?” You practically screamed.

Before he could answer, frustration took over as the heel of your gun smashed to his face, knocking him out.

“How the hell are we going to find them, they can’t just do this, they need the drive so what the hell are we going to do, they’re going to kill them before we can reach them, this is bullshit-“ you rambled on, only to be stopped by Bucky gripping your chin.

“Would you shut up for five minutes and breathe?” His body was close to yours now.

The both of you stood in the basement, out of breath and spent. His eyes washed over you, his grip still on your chin. You were about to sneer at him, tell him he was an idiot for not being concerned about his friend. But something unexpected happened, his lips pressed so harshly to yours. 

Your eyes shot open at the action, and you almost slapped him away. But god, he tasted so good. Following his action, you pressed harshly back into his, biting roughly to his lip. A groan escaped his throat as he pushed you out of the room into the hallway against the hard, brick wall. Your body slammed against the concrete, a whimper leaving your lips. You both fought for dominance, never giving in to one another. It left you both hungrily tugging at each other. You could almost feel blood on your lip with how hard he was kissing you, but he broke away.

“Take your goddamn clothes off.” He breathed out, ripping off his combat accessories.

“You first.” You began to pull at his shirt.

“You’re so damn stubborn.” He smiled, his lips red and swollen.

His hands reached the front of your shirt, Ripping it roughly. You gasped quietly at the coldness of the air, and began to tug roughly at his jeans. He was grinning now, flipping a knife in his fingers, carefully ripping you out of uniform. Once his chest was bare you raked your nails across, biting his chest hungrily. 

Suddenly the two of you were exposed in the open, not caring if anyone saw you, he pushed you roughly to the ground, attacking every inch of your exposed skin. You could feel how hard he was every time he moved, his member pressing up against you. Each time you whimpered, silently cursing to yourself, God he was big, you knew it would cause you pain at first. He smirked at your reactions to him, knowing how much your body craved to have him inside of you. Finally giving in, he hooked his hands behind your knees, jerking your legs wide open. He positioned himself quickly, pushing in roughly. You cried out at first, not being able to adjust to him, thankfully he stayed still for a moment. Giving a light tap this shoulder he began to move. His thrusts were sharp and deep, snapping his hips to the back of your thighs, breathy moans filled the hallway, along with slapping skin. 

“Damnit your so tight” Bucky sighed into your ear, “So goddamn wet.”

It was hungry, and almost animalistic. But God, did it feel good. You could tell by the uneven pace that he was close, you gripped his hair for support as he slammed into you. 

“I..Its okay, Im be-..hind you.” You breathed out as best you could.

At those words, Bucky slipped out of you causing you to whimper loudly at the sudden emptiness.

“Like hell am I going to finish before you.” He breathed out, pushing his fingers to your core.

He worked quickly, as your finish began to rise. As soon as your body began to shake, he withdrew a second time.

“God damnit Buck-“

Before you could finish, he resumed his position, roughly giving you everything he had left in him. The tandem of groans and whimpers rised as the both of you reached the end, screwing your eyes shut you felt it all over your body, you trembled slightly. As he pulled out, he fell to the side, his leg splayed over yours.

Suddenly a low static rang in your ears.

“We have found the location of the Avengers.” Fury stated.

You waited a moment to catch your breath.

“We’ll be there in 5.” you huffed out.

Bucky panted in exhaustion, a smile crept to your face, throwing a playful punch to his jaw, causing him to laugh breathlessly.

Now what the hell were you going to return in, as your clothes laid shredded across the floor.

[rookieinbflat]

Two Person System

Ethan x MC (Levin Stern)

WC: ~3200

Tags: @writerapprentice @vickypoochoices

Summary: This is the first part in a series of Levin and Ethan’s story now that they’re colleagues, which is a struggle because love is a two person system.

Dr Levin Stern sat in the front seat of Dr Ethan Ramey's car and wondered how she was going to crack this one. Levin knew she shouldn't do this, not again, trying to crack boys who didn't want to open up. She had learnt her lesson from her ex-boyfriend, well, she should have. Not to mention the stakes were much, much higher now, now he was her direct supervisor. She had the job of her dreams, the job she thought would take years to get to, but now, she had it all within reach. She was a firm believer that no man was worth her education or her career and those two things often went hand in hand. Levin had been debating the options over and over again in her head these past few weeks. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place, Ethan being the rock, obviously.

They were on their way to Albany for a medical conference and the hospital had taken too long to book flights and there were no seats available, so Ethan offered to drive. What a joke. If only some idiot hadn’t rear-ended her car the week before then they wouldn't be in this situation. A whole three-hour drive to get through. Fate had stabbed them and then twisted the knife.

Things had been understandably awkward between the two of them since she started on the diagnostics team. Levin had tried to maintain her professionalism, but it wasn't normal for her, she was used to goading Ethan, trying to make him smile and stop taking things so seriously, but she felt like she couldn't do that anymore, she felt like he couldn't be herself around him anymore. They had slept together thinking they would be colleagues at best, not with Ethan as her direct supervisor. It had only been a few weeks, maybe they just needed time to settle into the new situation they found themselves in.

"So," Ethan started after letting out a soft sigh, "how's life?" Levin smirked a little at how the tables had turned, just last year she had - somewhat awkwardly - asked him that same question when they were on the hunt for baby Ethan Hudson's stuffed frog toy.

"Um, it's good, I'm still getting used to things," Levin's voice is slow, she looks down to her lap and fiddles with the end of her scarf, "the whole office thing feels strange," she gave a short laugh.

Now that she was a junior fellow, Levin was given her own office in the hospital, right across the hall from Ethan's, albeit, hers was not as large and extravagant as his, but she did manage to find a good quality but a cheap coffee machine for her office.

"Yes, you'll need to find a comfy couch for between-shift power naps," Ethan smiles as he changes lanes, they were out of the city now and on the interstate, "and some earplugs, the walls are pretty thin,"

Levin coughs awkwardly, wondering if he realises the subtext of that statement, "God, maybe I should just move in there, I spend more time at the hospital than the apartment I actually pay rent on," Levin scolded herself internally, what the fuck was going on, this wasn't like her, Levin was the least awkward person in Boston, she prided herself on being able to make conversation with anyone, her ability to make people feel at ease and comfortable. It’s what made her a great doctor. Now, here she was, in the front seat of Ethan's car, second-guessing every word that comes out of her mouth. "Do we have to listen to this?" She says without thinking, the question catching both of them by surprise.

Ethan's mouth hangs open slightly, but he catches himself quickly and furrows his brow. There's a concerto playing and whilst it's beautiful, it's making Levin extremely sleepy, she didn't get much sleep last night between the constant study and also constant distraction of a certain surgical resident. "You don't like my music, Ro- uh, Dr Stern?" Levin sighed, he doesn't even call her Rookie anymore.

She looks over to him, "It's not that I don't like it, but I'd like something a bit more upbeat, I'm tired and this isn't really helping," she tells him truthfully and he glances over at her quickly before turning his eyes back to the road.

"Alright, you can put something on, let's see what sort of music you've got on there," he gestures to her phone and turns the Bluetooth in the cars sound system on.

She connects to the cars audio but takes a few seconds looking through her phone, she had playlists for every occasion: sad songs, party songs, Disney songs, 2009 songs, songs for the shower. She took a moment and figured her study playlist would be a pretty good option, songs that were catchy but still not too distracting. If Ethan is surprised or impressed or feeling any form of emotion right now, he doesn't show it, but soon he taps his fingers against the steering wheel and Levin can't help but feel like she's won this round.

She ties her long chestnut hair in a small bun at the nape of her neck, pulls her legs up onto the seat so they're crossed and retrieves her iPad from her handbag. Levin had downloaded all of her medical textbooks and journals onto it as well as dozens of medical apps, the device was practically attached to her hip at the hospital and she had bought it along with her this weekend so she could get in some much-needed study. While she had been getting some amazing practical learning done on the diagnostics team, she felt like she hadn't been able to study as much because of all the energy she was directed into working with Ethan.

"We're going to be at a medical conference all weekend, you're really going to study right now?" Ethan asks and she doesn't look up, pulling out the devices pencil to take notes along the sides of the pages.

"If you were me, wouldn't you be studying?" She says back, but she doesn't feel like she's paying much attention to her attending, the playlist has pretty much conditioned her to be in full-on study mode as soon as she hears it. Ethan doesn't reply and that's how she knows he agrees with her statement.

The next two hours that go by are relatively uneventful, Ethan had filled the gas tank before they left the city and Levin had her eyes glued to her textbooks the whole way down. They arrive at the hotel and retrieve their bags from the back of the car and just as Ethan hands the keys to the valet, an older man in a tailored navy suit stops him to question Ethan about the new book he's writing. I didn't know he was writing a new book, Levin thinks to herself but quickly shakes the feeling away, he didn't need to tell her, that's not her place. She slips off quietly, she wants this weekend to go by as quickly and painlessly as possible, getting caught up in conversations with Ethan is not apart of her plan.

Levin walks over to the reception desk in the foyer, she gets the key card to her room and makes her way over to the elevator, keeping her head low and her walk quick. Pulling her phone out of her bag, she catches up on any messages or emails she'd missed while it was on silent in the car.

Bryce Lahela (7 new messages)

Levin rolls her eyes, she's not surprised, Bryce has no shame in double or triple texting, he messages anything and everything that goes through his head, their text chain was basically a tour through his mind.

4.26pm: have you left already?

4.27pm: have you left already??????

4.30pm: ?have?you?left?already?

4.31pm: !!!!levin!!!!

5.02pm: hows the trip with dr. Terminator?

5.18pm: why aren't you taking me seriously

6.12pm: ugh and you say I'm annoying

How he had time to text her all these messages she had no idea, she knew he was at the hospital today, they'd all eaten together in the cafeteria at lunch. She laughed and typed out a quick reply before stepping out of the elevator, sorry, studied the whole drive over, the soundtrack would've made your ears bleed :(

Levin enters the room, sets her travel bag on the armchair and closes the blinds, she hasn't decided what she's doing for dinner yet but she does know she needs to change out of her crumpled travel clothes. Levin pulls on a long red skirt, that falls around mid-calf and has a long split up the thigh, a black top and pair of boots, she puts her phone and other necessities into a small shoulder bag and turns the lights off before walking out into the hallway, where she unexpectedly crashes into something, or rather someone.

Ethan's hands reach out and he grabs Levin by her elbows, steadying her before she falls back into the door, "Uh, sorry, I should've been looking where I was going," he says as he pulls her back up so she's standing straight. He watches her as she brushes down her outfit and hikes her bag back up onto her shoulder, "You were going somewhere?" He asks, brows furrowed and she looks like a teenager that's been caught sneaking out of the house.

"Um, yeah, I was just going to get some dinner, the hotel restaurant doesn't seem too appealing and there's a really nice place a few blocks from here." Levin shrugs and looks up to meet his gaze, he's studying her carefully, like her can’t figured her out.

"You really left me struggling back there and now you're going to leave me to eat in this crappy restaurant?" He laughs shortly and even though he covers it well, Levin can see that he's slightly offended.

"You're welcome to join," she offers even though she really doesn't want to, but luckily Levin is much better at hiding this than Ethan is.

"Let me put my bags in my room," He says and she tries to hold herself back from staring at his ass as he walks away. He was making it really hard for her to control herself. Levin rested against the wall and scrolled through social media as she waited for Ethan to sort himself, checking some emails and making a mental note of what she had to do when she got back to the room tonight, she was interrupted by the sound of a door opening, Levin had to contain herself when Ethan walked back out of the room, wearing a casual white button down and blue jeans.

Oh fucking fuck he looks so good, Levin thought to herself, this is going to be a long night.

They are barely out of the front door when Levin's phone starts ringing: Mom. "Sorry," she looked at Ethan, "I should take this," Ethan nods in agreement, and she answers to hear the usual array of noise in the background.

"Levin, babe, do you know where I put Edda’s medical folder? I can't seem to find it after the move," Levin rolls her eyes as her mum continues to rattle off all of the other things she's lost over the past couple of weeks, her mother was the sort of person who would lose her own head if it wasn't screwed on. Every week it was a new call or text asking about files or paperwork or the password to her email.

Levin didn't need to rack her brain, "Mum, it's in the filing cabinet, where it should stay, stop taking things out and leaving them all around the house," She had spent so much time moving into her mother into their new house in Fairhaven just over five years ago, she'd taken two weeks off of her college break to help her. Her mother seemed to be hellbent on turning the beautiful, organised home Levin had made into a glorified rats nest.

"Oh sorry babe, it's just been so crazy with the kids on break and starting the new job,” her mum continues to rattle off and Levin lets out small mhm’s and ahh’s when necessary. Her life was like this often, putting out fires at the hospital and putting out fires at home, her mum called her whenever something went wrong, no matter how big or small (often small) which meant she was constantly looking at her phone to see what the next big emergency was this time.

Once her mum has found the medical records, her house keys and successfully sent Levin into a disorganised rage, she hangs up the phone. Ethan and Levin have reached the restaurant by now and they’re greeted with friendly smiles. “Levy!” The stout man walks over to her with his arms outstretched, a smile stretched across his face, “so good to see you! When the others told me you were stopping by for dinner I had to come back in and see you!” He places his hands firmly on her shoulders and pulls her in for a hug.

“Thanks, Trevor, you know I can't come to town without saying hello and carb loading to the Max,” Levin smiles, stepping back to introduce him to Ethan, “this is Ethan,” she gestures to the tall doctor and Trevors eyes twinkle.

“The is the first time she’s brought a boy arou-”

“My boss,” Levin interjects and Trevor make a small ‘o’ with his mouth.

“I see, well a pleasure to meet you anyway,” he stretches his hand out to shake Ethan’s and Levin can tell he's impressed by the firm handshake, the nice dress shoes and Tommy Hilfiger button down, “we don’t get to see our Levin much now that she’s a big shot doctor down in Boston, so tonight’s meal is on the house!”

Ethan starts to protest, he can afford a meal and doesn’t want to put them out of any revenue but Levin makes a face that tells him not to, Trevor loves to accommodate old friends and will not let them pay a dime, Levin gets around this by leaving a couple of twenties in the tip jar.

It’s a Friday night and the restaurant is crowded and after a short catch up, Trevor finds them a nice table outside by the fire, surrounded by leafy plants and intimate lighting. Levin didn't mean for this to be so romantic, but she didn’t want to ask for another table at the risk of coming off ungrateful. They take their seats and order some wine to start, Ethan looks over at the young doctor curiously, she looks gorgeous in this lighting he thinks, he dark chestnut hair is somehow shining even in the dim lighting, and the outfit looks gorgeous on her tanned skinned. Ethan tries not to stare but he's finding it harder than usual, she has one leg crossed over the other and is facing the small band playing in the corner of the room, the slit in her skirt leaves most of her leg uncovered and Ethan can feel his heart race.

“You’re a regular?” Ethan asks, voice cutting above the chatter of the people around him, Levin turns to look at him, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.

“Trevor is an old friend of my dad’s,” she tells him, “we spent a lot of time here growing up so I always try and visit when I’m in town,”

The waiter comes over to take their orders, Levin orders a glass of Riesling and pasta, Ethan orders some Malbec and pizza. The two of them share some arancini and bruschetta.

Ethan takes a sip from his glass, "You've never told me about your siblings," he looks at her with an eyebrow raised,

"You never talk about your family," Levin points out, but then shrugs, "I didn't realise I've never told you about them, I normally talk about them all the time. I have eight siblings so our house was pretty crazy growing up," she chuckles and takes a bite of arancini, the small ball of rice practically melts in her mouth.

"That is a lot of kids, your mother must have been running on fumes," this time he laughs too, "what are there names?"

"Um, well, I have two older brothers named Basil and Sepp, two older sisters named Evia and Sera, three younger sisters named Marti, Edda and Isa, and a younger brother named Jos,"

"Wow, those names are..." Ethan trails off, not really sure what to say so Levin finishes for him.

"Unusual?" Ethan's makes a face that conveys the sort of agreement he didn't want to admit, "My mum is super into traditional Swiss names, she even went to court over my sister and I's names," Levin laughs and takes a sip out of her wine glass.

His jaw hangs open slightly, "To court? For what? Over baby names?"

"Yeah, in Switzerland you're not really supposed to give traditional boys names to girls, so Levin and Marti were choices that the birth registry didn't initially accept, but then my mother took them to court and argued her case, she's pretty stubborn and didn't go down without a fight,"

Ethan looks at her with a small smile, "Well, now I know where you get your tenacity from," his voice is sincere, taking Levin by surprise, luckily the waiter arrives with their food before she makes things awkward. "You were born in Switzerland?" She wonders what questions he's got stored in his brain, as she pushes her food around on her plate.

Levin hesitates to answer, but nods, she feels weird sharing these things with Ethan now. She knows they need to grow together as a team but how can she do that when she has such strong feelings of affection towards her attending? Levin chews on her lips before she tells him the answers to all the questions he asks. She tells him about their three dogs growing up in Switzerland then moving to North Carolina for her dad’s job, she tells him about boarding school and almost getting kicked out after being caught sneaking into the boy's dorm, she tells him about her undergrad and the late night study sessions, bar fights, ski trips. He’s curious, she’s lived a very full life for someone so young, only twenty-five and she’s seen so much of the world, but he also knows that she’s seen so much pain. He’s heard her talking to Lahela and the other interns, stories of her mother's post-partum depression and the years that followed with a shell of a mother, there but not really. When they finish their meals, a silence falls between them and Ethan can see that she’s caught up in her own head, running her brain on overdrive, a brain running on anxiety. He quietly clears his throat before he does something he hasn’t done in a long time, he opens up.

“I’m an only child,” Levin’s eyes snap up, meeting Ethan's gaze, his bright blue eyes are soft, “my parents never wanted a big family,” he says the words like she’s got a knife to his throat, each word coming out at a glacial pace.

Levin smiles at him, before reaching over the table with her hand outstretched, he places his hand in hers and gives it a light squeeze.

[artificialqueens]

The First Day of Christmas (katlaska) - kamylove

<i>AN A belated Christmas thing. It’s a small miracle that they can be together for Christmas, and they’re not going to waste a minute.</i>

It’s a small miracle that they can be together for Christmas. It took some juggling and a lot of airfare, but they’ve got three days, and Katya doesn’t plan to waste a minute. She arrives at the hotel near her parents’ house the morning of Christmas Eve, and goes straight to the mall where she worked in high school to buy all the tacky, disposable decorations left on sale. She hums Alaska’s Christmas Queens songs (because Alaska’s are the best ones, obviously) while she hangs the most ostentatious display she can hang, without incurring a fee from the hotel. She goes to see her family for dinner, and uses their wrapping paper, because she <i>knew</i> she’d forgotten something at the mall, and steals a big roll of ribbon. She’s buzzing with energy and dominating conversation, but they’re used to that. Still, she leaves early; she’s driving even herself crazy, and to be honest she’s a bit lonely, so she goes back to their suite to wait for Alaska’s late flight. Once there she ends up redoing all the decorations, because she’s having one of those can’t sit still days, and she texts Alaska a long, giddy stream of holiday and heart emojis that she’ll see when her plane lands. Then she watches <i>Rudolph</i>, and sends Alaska, one line at a time, The Absolutely True Love Story of Yukon Cornelius and The Abominable, wherein Yukon is a bottom and loves toothy blowjobs, and it’s a myth that the Abominable had <i>all</i> his teeth pulled which is a damn good thing for Yukon, and falling off the cliff is an orgasm metaphor, and … “Making me laugh like that in the fucking airport!” Alaska texts finally. “YOU’RE HERE YOU’RE HERE YOU’RE HERE,” Katya texts back. “Renting the car right now, please put your masterpiece on pause so I can pretend to be a normal human being.” “I’M A LITTLE HYPERACTIVE TODAY,” Katya replies. Alaska sends a heart and a brain. Katya sends a heart and a snake, and then gets a bit carried away with eggplants and a whole lot of peaches. <><><> Katya had texted the key code in the middle of her gay Christmas special text storm, so Alaska punches it in without knocking and wheels her bags inside. She barely gets out, “Merry Christmas, bitch,” before there’s an unholy shriek, a door opening, and a whirl of color barreling towards her. This is not a new thing, so Alaska braces herself while Katya gloms onto her with arms around her neck and legs around her waist. <i>(“Maybe try that with a little less momentum next time,” Alaska had said, right after landing on her tailbone the first time Katya bowled her over.)</i> Thankfully, Alaska’s able to lean back into the wall, instead of falling on the floor. She wraps her arms around Katya to help keep her where she is. “Hi,” Katya says right in Alaska’s face. “I’ve been waiting <i>forever</i>.” “My plane landed early!” Alaska says. <i>“Forever,”</i> Katya insists. She grins. “You look yummy.” “You still have toothpaste on your chin, but I really mi-” And Katya cuts her off with a tongue practically down her throat. “Missed you anyway,” Alaska finishes when she can get a word in. Katya squeals, a little too close to Alaska’s ear, and then apologizes. “I’m just so happy to see you!” Katya says, like she always does. “I love that you’re so happy to see me,” Alaska says, like she always does. They both know Alaska’s just as happy, if better able to contain herself. “Now get down. I’m fucking exhausted, and I’m about to drop you.” Katya doesn’t lower herself to the floor so much as jump, and then she’s grabbing Alaska’s hand and pulling her further inside. “Look what I did!” she says. Alaska follows with a grin, and the grin turns into a shocked bark or laughter as she looks around. The space is full of red and green streamers and garlands, paper stockings and snowflakes and snowmen–one of them labeled “Abominable, A Top (not an accurate likeness)”–and a big Christmas tree sticker on the wall. There’s plastic holly and poinsettia and mistletoe. There’s a three-foot candy cane that seems, worrisomely, to be real, with a ribbon of red, green, and gold plaid tied around it. And there’s a banner that says, “Happy Thanksgiving,” complete with a turkey in a stupid pilgrim hat. “It was on clearance,” Katya explains, waving her arms and pointing to make sure Alaska sees everything. Then there are half a dozen pictures of Alaska on stage, and when Alaska gets closer she can see they have helpful notes like, “I was staring at your ass the whole time,” and “You missed the high note,” and “I’m stealing this wig in particular,” and “Squeeze my boob, baby.” And there’s a brightly-wrapped nativity set that looks like– “Is that <i>chocolate</i>?” Alaska asks. “Dibs on baby Jesus!” Katya says in a rush. It’s all very crazy and very Katya, and Alaska tells her so. “It’s a <i>disastah</i> and it’s so you I want to fuck it,” she says. Katya screams out a laugh and wheezes and manages to say, “I knew you would! I knew you would, that’s why I brought extra condoms!” “You’re so good to me,” Alaska says. “I am, aren’t I?” Katya smiles flirtatiously. “Oh!” She holds up a hand to say stop. “Are you hungry? I have leftovers for you! And pizza!” “The traditional Christmas pizza?” “It’s got lots of vegetables on it. It’s like a cooked salad with cheese! Well, half of it has cheese.” “That sounds a lot worse than it probably tastes,” Alaska says. Katya bounces over to the mini-fridge. In the middle of opening it, she looks back and says, “Oh! I only had salad for dinner! And fruit for breakfast!” “Did you now?” Alaska asks. “I did,” Katya says as if she’s talking dirty. Alaska laughs, and Katya piles her arms full of tupperware and a pizza box. <><><> After pizza (Katya scrapes the cheeseless vegetables off the top and makes sure Alaska’s watching), and potatoes and squash and peas, they settle down to watch <i>Santa Claus Conquers the Martians</i>. They’re only a few minutes in when Alaska, yawning, lays her head on Katya’s shoulder. She sighs happily when Katya pets her thigh, and Katya can tell how tired she is by the way she’s holding herself, melting into Katya’s side. “Sleepy?” Katya asks. “Mmm.” “Want to go to bed?” “Not if you’re not.” Katya smiles. She loves sappy Alaska, and exhaustion brings out the sappiest Alaska. The sofa they’re sitting on looks almost long enough for Alaska to lie down, so Katya moves to the end. She coaxes Alaska to stretch out and put her head in in Katya’s lap. Alaska grumbles, but makes a happy sound when she’s settled. Katya combs her fingers through Alaska’s curls. “Are we growing this out again, or have you just been too busy?” Katya asks.

“Too busy. But I’ve been tempted lately to shave it all off like yours.” She finds Katya’s spare hand and brings it to her chest. “Hey,” she notices, holding it out again so she can see better, “your nails are did!” Katya flutters both hands to show them off. One is a a messy red, one a messy green, and just one thumb is a glittery white she got for $.49 at the mall. “Tell me how pretty they are,” she says. Alaska laughs. “They’re very pretty.” “Really?” “Actually it looks like a hack job you did because you were bored. But they’re gorgeous, because they’re on you.” Katya squeals and goes back to playing with Alaska’s hair. It doesn’t take long for Katya to get bored with the movie and start yawning herself, and Alaska’s already sound asleep. She’s curled up and snoring a little and she looks too comfortable to move, but they’ll both regret it if she doesn’t. “Wake up, bitch,” Katya says. “Time for bed.” Alaska mumbles, “I’ll just stay here.” “No, you won’t. It’ll kill your back.” “All downhill after thirty,” Alaska says, as Katya leads her by the hand into the other room. <><><> Alaska’s dreaming, but she’s also aware of Katya getting out of bed and returning, slightly damp, and it seems like a new dream and a long time before the nose-licking starts. “Wake up!” Katya’s saying. Lick. “Wake up!” Lick, lick. “Wake uuuuuup.” Alaska fights a sneeze and opens one eye. “This again,” she says as she sees that it’s still dark in the room. She not-so-secretly loves her Katya-shaped alarm clock, but she’ll complain about it until she dies. “What is wrong with you?” Katya licks her nose again. “Wake uuuuuuup.” “I’m going to tell your parents you’re defective.” “They won’t take me back. They won’t take me back! You’ve already opened my box!” “Damn,” Alaska says, smiling. “I’m stuck with you.” “You are!” Another lick. “Wake up! It’s Christmas!” “Nobody over the age of ten is awake yet, Kati.” “But I wanted to give you a chance to play with your present before we have to leave,” Katya says. Alaska’s suspicious, but she grins anyway. “You got me a present?” “Of course I got you presents, you idiot. But I really need to give you this one in private.” She starts lifting the covers. “Oh, no, you didn’t,” Alaska says, covering her eyes. “I did!” Katya says. She grabs the hand Alaska has over her eyes and drags it down to her dick, which is decked out in the same red, green, and gold ribbon as the giant candy cane. Alaska pulls her hand back. “I can’t believe you,” she says fondly. “You don’t like it?” Katya shifts so she can press the ribbon against Alaska’s bare stomach. It tickles. “I’ll like it after the sun comes up,” Alaska says, pretending to turn away. Katya stops her and starts poking. “Al.” Poke. “Al.” Poke. “Al. How are you going to write me a thank you note if you don’t at least see if it works?” Alaska can’t fake it anymore. She gives in and cracks up. “I win!” Katya says. “Always. But I haven’t read the directions yet. I don’t even know how to turn it on.” “I’ll download the PDF for you later.” <i>(On New Year’s Eve, once Alaska’s back on the road, she’ll get a text with a detailed diagram and directions written in Katya’s handwriting, and it will make her day. And she’ll write a very dirty thank you note in response.)</i> Alaska laughs and stretches out on her back, pulling Katya on top of her and squeezing her ass. “Sooo,” she says, “I’m getting the feeling you want me to fuck you.” Katya gasps as if she hasn’t been dropping hints for two days. “How did you know?” “Women’s intuition,” Alaska says. “I’m in your head, baby.” She squirms and smirks and says demurely, “I mean, if you’re feeling it today.” “Like you need to ask,” Alaska says. “I’m just going to clean up a bit first, okay?” As she walks away, she hears Katya jump up and start rifling through plastic shopping bags, and decides she’s not going to ask. She’s glad she didn’t, when she returns a few minutes later. Katya’s not looking her way, so Alaska takes a step back to watch quietly. There’s obviously a surprise coming, and she doesn’t want to ruin it. Katya’s bent over, ass in the air, muttering to herself as she yanks a Santa hat out of one bag, and goes back to searching all the others. “Aha!” she says as she pulls out reindeer antlers and a wrapped box that’s just the right size for what Alaska thinks–knows–is in it. Alaska grins helplessly. She loves this lunatic so much. She ducks further back as Katya turns towards the bed, so it really is a surprise when she finally reveals herself. Katya’s laid out on her side, arm raised with a flourish. The Santa hat is on her head, and something suspiciously shaped is underneath it. “Merry Christmas!” she says, and points to her ribbon-wrapped dick. “Maybe I don’t need directions after all,” Alaska says. She steps to the edge of the bed, and Katya kneels in front of her on the mattress. “Take it off!” Katya says. “Take it off, take it off!” “What? My underwear?” Alaska asks, playing along. “That too. But no!” She gestures at the hat. “This, this, this!” Alaska does, and pretends to be surprised at the fuzzy antlers. “A shocking reveal!” she says. Katya grabs the hat and stands up to put it on Alaska’s head. “Hi Santa,” she says. “Do you want to see my shiny red ass? I can light up <i>your</i> sleigh.” “Ruining my entire fucking childhood,” Alaska says. Katya wheezes out a long laugh, very pleased with herself, so Alaska strips off her last bit of clothing, pushes Katya backwards onto the bed, and climbs on top of her. Then she kisses Katya madly, before Katya can say anything. They both moan happily into the kiss, and Katya opens her legs so Alaska can slide in between them. “Oh, my God, that thing is going to drive me crazy,” Alaska says, pulling back while Katya laughs at her. “You don’t like your present?” “This fucking ribbon.” Alaska tugs at it as she kneels between Katya’s legs. “It’s itchy as hell. How are you wearing it?” “I suffer for looooove,” Katya says. Cackling, Alaska tosses the thing aside, and lets Katya pull her head down to continue the kissing. But she’s got other ideas, so she starts moving south, to kiss Katya’s neck, her clavicle, her sternum, while Katya squirms beneath her. She follows the happy trail straight down, tugging on a few short hairs with her teeth, and skips right over Katya’s dick. “You complete cunt,” Katya complains, and thrusts her hips up to emphasize where she wants Alaska’s tongue. But Alaska shuts her up by sucking one of Katya’s balls into her mouth. She hums a random little tune, knowing the vibrations will drive Katya crazy, sucks in both balls, and smiles when she feels Katya’s hand land gently on her head. “Up or down?” Alaska asks. When she gets no answer, she tries again. “Kataya. Up or down?” “Oh, God, <i>both</i>.” “No,” Alaska says, and licks just below the scrotum. “You have to choose.” Katya groans and hesitates for a moment before yanking her legs up and out ot the way. “Good choice.” But Alaska doesn’t move, waiting for Katya to beg, which she does. Kind of. “What the fuck,” she says, tugging at Alaska’s hair. “Why isn’t your tongue in my sphincter yet?” Alaska laughs and traces a line with her tongue and laps at Katya’s hole just once. “Oh, my God, fuck you,” Katya says. “Always in such a hurry,” Alaska says before she starts licking again. She circles and tongues and strokes and gets lost there for a while, listening to all the delicious sounds Katya’s making. Eventually she asks, “Is this enough? Fingers?” Katya takes a minute to reply. Finally she tugs at Alaska’s curls again. “Put,” she says breathlessly. “I need. Mouth.” Alaska keeps her own mouth right where it is and holds up a hand for Katya to suck, and Katya does, hungrily. She shudders as she catches Alaska’s fingers between her lips, and Alaska shudders as Katya bites down. It’s painless, but Alaska says, “Ow, fuck,” anyway, to make Katya laugh. Then she raises her head for a few moments, watching Katya blissfully slurp on her fingers. Her eyes are closed, she’s breathing hard, and she doesn’t even seem to notice that Alaska’s stopped. Blissful Katya, anxiety free and living only in the moment, is always one of the most erotic things Alaska’s ever seen, reindeer antlers or not. She shifts her weight so she can wrap her free hand around her own dick, and licks up all the precum on Katya’s. Then she focuses back on Katya’s ass until Katya writhes and lets go of Alaska’s fingers to suck in a breath. Alaska uses those fingers to circle Alaska’s hole, and the change in sensation makes Katya’s eyes snap open. Laughing, Alaska sits up and asks, “So how are we doing this?” “You <i>do</i> need directions,” Katya says. “Let me rephrase. How exactly would you like my member inserted into your rectum?” “I don’t care as long as it’s inserted.” But then her eyes get wide and she says, “No! I do care! Lap sex!” She pushes herself up. “Come here! Sit here!” Alaska goes happily and lets Katya arange her however she wants. She ends up sitting against the headboard, with crossed legs. Katya reaches over her to get the lube and a condom, hands them both to Alaska, and watches Alaska unroll the latex. There’s a filthy look on Katya’s face as she sing-songs, “I want to see your eyes, and I want burning thighs.” “And I am happy to oblige,” Alaska says. “Always writing lyrics,” Katya teases. She holds her hand out for some lube and Alaska lets it dribble into her palm. Then they’re both slicked up and Katya’s straddling, then squatting over Alaska’s hips, one hand on Alaska’s shoulder and one between their bodies. Katya lowers herself slowly, making Alaska hiss at the tight heat. She meets Katya’s eyes and smiles, and Katya grins back at her. “Nice,” Alaska says Katya closes her eyes and sighs. She starts riding Alaska but stops quickly, her nose wrinkling up. “Okay?” Alaska asks immediately. “More lube?” “Mmm.” Alaska finds it and hands it over, and a few seconds later Katya’s smiling again as she slides down and sits unmoving on Alaska’s dick. She cradles Alaska’s face in her hands and kisses her, and kisses her again. They melt and fuse and grind together, slowly, with Katya’s dick trapped between them, until Alaska can hardly stand it. She wriggles a little, moaning into Katya’s mouth, and when that doesn’t work, she runs her fingers lightly down Katya’s chest, tickling. Katya laughs helplessly, and Alaska shoves her back far enough to grab her dick. “Oh, fuck,” Katya says. “Fuck yes.” She raises herself up, finally, and Alaska takes a deep breath as she slams back down. Alaska tightens her grip and all at once they’re both frantic, giving and taking, grunting and groaning and shivering, and she struggles to keep her eyes on Katya’s face. She wants to remember <i>everything</i>. “Yes,” Katya says. “Yes yes.” Then, “No,” as she shoves Alaska’s hand aside to pump her own dick. The pressure in Alaska’s groin is almost unbearable. “Thighs burning yet?” she asks. “I didn’t even notice!” Katya stills halfway down. “Fuck, fuck, ow, fuck.” But she starts up again anyway, and says, “Ow, ow, ow.” “Want to lie down?” Alaska lays her hands on Katya’s hips and puts some more effort into thrusting, to give Katya a break, but Katya just keeps saying, “Ow!” It’s adorable and funny and hot and Alaska’s so ready. She can hardly hold it in and she pushes up hard, to let Katya know. Katya moans out a long, “Aaah,” and softly touches Alaska’s jaw. “Come first,” she says. Alaska does, easily and breathlessly, her eyes glued to Katya’s. She watches Katya jerk off for a few seconds, then lowers her head just enough to bite one of Katya’s nipples. Then Katya’s groaning and the heat of her orgasm hits Alaska’s stomach. She looks down to watch Katya milk out the last drops and groans at how beautiful it is. “You’re,” Alaska starts, meaning to say something sweet and infatuated. “You’re so-” But she can’t finish, and she ends up smiling stupidly at Katya instead. “No, <i>you’re</i>,” Katya says.

Alaska drags her gaze upwards, and remembers what Katya’s wearing. “You’re a fucking reindeer.” “Thank you, Santa,” Katya says. “I really enjoyed my present, Rudolph.” “Oh, good,” Katya says. “I looked <i>everywhere</i>.” Chuckling, Alaska nudges her aside so she can tie off the condom and toss it on the nightstand. She lies down and stretches out and asks, “What time did you tell them we’d be there?” “Eleven or twelve,” Katya says, yawning. She shuffles around and ends up on her back with her head at the foot of the bed, and snuggles up to Alaska’s calf. Alaska kisses her toes. “So we can sleep a bit more?” “I love that idea,” Katya says. Figuring Katya’s too worn out to move, Alaska hands her a pillow and tugs out the sheet and blanket so she can join Katya at the other end of the bed. She wraps the covers tightly around them both. “Oh, I forgot to give you part two of your sexy present,” Katya says sleepily. “It’ll still be there.” “It might come to life! You never know.” She yawns again, and Alaska feels the exhale on the back of her neck. “Shit, I just gave it away, didn’t I?” Alaska yawns, too. “I didn’t hear a thing,” she says, and clutches Katya’s hand to her chest. <><><> Katya wakes to the sound of the shower. She stretches, looks at the clock, and smiles when she sees the Santa hat perched on top of the bedside lamp. Her head is throbbing, though, for some reason. “Ouch,” she says to herself. “Why?” Because she fell asleep with the reindeer headband on, that’s why. She takes it off and throws it in the direction of the shopping bags, then shuffles into the bathroom to pee and brush her teeth. “Good morning again!” she says to the dark shape behind the curtain. “You’re up!” Alaska peeks her head out and says, “Morning, Rudolph!” Then she hides again, laughing, as Katya tries to pinch her nose. By the time Katya’s done with her own shower, emerging with a towel around her waist, Alaska looks ready to go. She’s sitting in a chair with her legs curled up, reading a book, and she’s got Whitney Houston’s Christmas album playing on her phone. “You’re dressed already,” Katya complains. “You’re not,” Alaska says. Katya flings off the towel with flair and jazz hands. Alaska whistles, which is exactly what Katya knew she would do. Then Alaska tosses her a wrapped box that Katya barely catches. Katya’s spent a lot of time teasing Alaska about her aim. “Sexy present?” she says excitedly. “Sexy present,” Alaska says. “Where’s my part two? Does it involve you staying naked?” “That’s part three, and it’s for later,” Katya says. She looks for the gift she got out last night and forgot. Finding it on the floor by the bed, she hands it delicately to Alaska, because Alaska can’t catch, either. “Bitch,” Alaska says fondly. “Now?” “Now!” Laughing at each other, they both rip into their packages. Katya buys Alaska a different version of the same present every year, but she never knows exactly what Alaska will buy for her. “I knew it!” Alaska says when she sees the plug, which is a heavy and very pretty glass snowman. “It’s gorgeous. Where do you keep finding these things?” “I don’t. They find <i>me</i>.” Admittedly she had to look in every sex shop in Amsterdam before this one found her. “Oh! I’m wearing these today!” “All of them?” “Maybe just one.” The clear box is labeled “Gay Apparel,” and she holds up each Christmas-colored thong in turn, reading out things like, “Fuck Me, Santa” and “Sugar Plum Fairy” and “Taste These Christmas Balls.” “Which one?” she asks Alaska, and holds them all up a second time. “This Candy Cane Won’t Lick Itself,” Alaska decides. Katya smirks at her and puts it on. She strikes a few poses, and Alaska whistles again. “Are you going to wear that?” Katya asks, pointing at the plug. “You’re funny,” Alaska says. “I’ll starve myself if you starve yourself.” “Fuck, I <i>am</i> starving,” Katya suddenly realizes. “Can I have chocolate Jesus?” Alaska reaches for it, and Katya realizes something else. “You already ate a wise man!” “And he was deliciousssss,” Alaska says, stretching out the S, as she hands over the smallest piece. “No fair! He’s three times as big!” Alaska grabs Mary and hands her over, too. “Why am I the one that’s going to hell?” Katya asks. “I’ll be right there with you,” Alaska says. And she starts unwrapping Joseph.

<><><>

A little while later they’re both by the door, about to leave with their two big bags of presents, when Katya puts a hand on Alaska’s arm. “Wait.” Alaska smiles softly at her. “You don’t have to say it, sweetie.” “But I’m going to, and you know I’m going to, and you’d be disappointed if I didn’t.” “The first two are true,” Alaska says. “The third one not so much.” “Shut up,” Katya says, and leans in for a quick kiss. “<i>Thank you</i>, yet again, for rescuing me from my destiny as the spinster uncle all the kids feel sorry for. And for continuing to let me show you off on holidays.” <i>(“I used to go to all these family things, and I always knew I’d never have anyone to take with me,” Katya had said, the first year they were officially together. “Nobody would ever want to put up with the crazy.” Alaska had cried a little and kissed her and said, “I want all the crazy, all the time,” then complained about ruining the eyeliner she wasn’t wearing.)</i> Katya adores her family; Alaska knows how much Katya adores her family. But Katya spent much longer thinking she was unloveable, and it still makes Alaska’s heart hurt when she remembers. The Katya she first knew, barely knew, her coworker Katya, wanted love so badly but didn’t know how or where to find it, and made up endless jokes about loneliness instead. Blinking back tears, like she always does, Alaska says, “I’m the one showing your off. And I really love your vagina so freaking much.” Katya grins at her, joy overflowing in her eyes. “And I really love your pussy, you bitch.” They walk out the door hand in hand.